#there's an imaginary multimedia fan creation that's a book of bill parody

[luvo27]

Fantasy High Gravity Falls au:

Opens with riz and fig sitting next to each other upstairs listening to their parents argue: namely, gilear and sandra lynn are arguing with each other, and gorthalax and sklonda are trying to mediate

The cause of the argument is, of course, the revelation that fig is not gilear’s biological daughter with the growing in of her horns

Gorthalax, not having known that fig was his biologically, now wants to be a part of his daughter’s life: riz and sklonda are there because he’s dating sklonda

This is the first time riz and fig have met. It’s super awkward! Very wow i can’t believe im meeting this girl because her mom cheated on her dad. Wow i cant believe im meeting this guy because my mom cheated on my dad with his moms boyfriend

Anyways, sklonda and gorthalax are like, “clearly you and gilear need some time and space to figure things out, and the kids really shouldn’t have to deal with this. Why don’t we send them away for the summer?”

“Where?”

Gorthalax: “well, i grew up in this lovely town called Gravity Falls. I have a friend there—”

“Friend?”

“Well, I’m not exactly sure what else to call him. Friend is about as accurate a description that I can apply. Ex-boss?”

“Fair. But we’re really going to send the kids to stay with him?”

“It’ll be a good learning experience!”

Anyways riz and fig get sent to Gravity Falls to live with one Arthur Aguefort who runs the Mystery Shack

For some reason despite never having been affiliated with a school in any capacity, he insists they call him Principal Aguefort. He’s the most unhelpful adult either riz or fig have met in their entire lives, but he provides them with rooms and food, so that’s chill. They can entertain themselves anyways.

Gorgug, Adaine, Kristen, and Fabian are all Gravity Falls residents. Gorgug and Adaine work at the mystery shack part time, Fabian’s this weird rich kid who hangs around with them for no apparent reason, kristen is way too casual about the cult that she escaped from and constantly talks about how she and adaine live in the woods with a pack of werewolves

There’s a werewolf episode where they actually meet said werewolves: enter tracker and jawbone

Anyways, fig and riz get to know each other over the course of the summer and grow close with the other gravity falls kids as they get into fun and delightful adventures

Riz finds a journal at some point early in the summer with a feather burned into the cover, and uses this to guide all his friends in their adventures

At some point, they meet adaine’s sister who still lives with their parents after she reluctantly comes to adaine and her friends for help exorcising their mansion. It turns out it’s a trap to try to kidnap adaine back home. Adaine lets (read: commands) the ghosts haunting her old family home to kill her dad. The van with hands chases their mom into the woods. No one is particularly sad about either of these events. Aelwyn is going to take over this mansion and fill it with the cats she always wanted but could never have. Adaine, kristen, and their werewolf adoptive family move in. there are MANY sleepovers.

At some point there’s an episode where the kids find out that Fabian is part mermaid when his pirate mermaid family comes to visit

At some point there’s an episode about ghosts and the afterlife where riz gets to say hi to his dad briefly

As the summer progresses, fig grows more comfortable with her demon heritage. Sklonda, Gorthalax, Gilear, and Sklonda visit to check in on their kids on weekends when they can, and fig delights in getting to know her bio dad and repairing her relationship with gilear, and she basically adopts sklonda as a second mom, and she’s really excited to have riz as a brother, plus they’ve made all these really cool friends that she can keep in touch with now.

Riz, on the other hand, can’t stop thinking about what’s going to happen when the summer ends. He’s gotten attached to Fig as a sister, and when the summer ends and her parents sort out their problems is that going to mean that they’re going to go back to how they were before? He doesn’t want to leave his new friends behind, he doesn’t want to go back to the way his life was before, he doesn’t want to lose any of this

Theres an episode where the kids track down gorgugs parents

It’s either about how his bio parents had their memories of gorgug wiped and the bad kids tracking them down and solving that mystery

Or is just completely normal.

“Hey gorgug do you want to find your bio parents?”

“Huh. sounds fun. sure!”

There’s an episode where the kids find arthur’s stash of fake identities.

“Who the fuck is Barthur Baguefort?”

“It’s Arthur wearing sunglasses.”

There’s an episode where the bad kids encounter and probably kill kristen’s former cult

None of the kids are particularly close to Arthur. They don’t really care about the secrets he’s hiding.

At some point, riz is trying to solve some conspiracy or the other, and this is when kalina first appears to him

At some point, the kids wake up to find arthur’s left his secret basement door room open when the kids are having a sleepover. They go in as the portal is opening, and out steps the author of the journals: ayda aguefort.

She’s been traversing the multiverse after an argument with her dad got her thrown in there during one of her research projects. Traversing the multiverse was kind of chill, actually, she’s got a hunger for knowledge and boy did she learn a lot on her adventures

She joins the bad kids on their adventures, and fig is of course delighted to have another friend (and maybe more!)

The time the kids have left before summer ends grows shorter and shorter.

Kalina appears to fig. She makes her an offer, she wants to make a deal. Fig could be gilears biological daughter, if she wants. She could have parents who never cheated on each other, she could go back to her happy idyllic childhood.

Fig does not take the deal. The entire summer for her was finding the silver lining, was learning how to repair relationships and move forwards. If her heritage never came to light, she never would have grown her family basically three times as large

So kalina goes to riz. And riz is so, so desperate. All he wants in the world is a guarantee that people won’t leave him. And kalina? Delivers.

So riz is thrown into a bubble dimension with his devoted partner created to fulfill his deal in the most monkeys paw of situations: enter baron from the baronies

The thing kalina gets out of this deal is for the Nightmare King to be let into their realm, bringing the apocalypse into gravity falls one weekend when riz and figs parents are visiting

The bad kids now have to save riz and defeat the nightmare king. Power of friendship time!

Pooling together collective knowledge from everyone’s adventures: the parents, who used to live in gravity falls, ayda, whos been traversing dimensions, the bad kids, who’ve been messing about with random stuff all summer, they piece together the nightmare king’s story

Kristen’s old cult is plot relevant now! It turns out that they were a doomsday cult and hundreds of years ago, sacrificed the being known as the nightmare king in an attempt to bring about the end of times. They thought it didn’t work, but they’re probably delighted that it’s finally happening

Kristen had escaped the cult because she was being set up to be the sacrifice for apocalypse attempt part 2. This makes her uniquely suited to extend a hand.

“Oh, dude, I totally get what you’re going through. But like, me and my friends completely wiped out those guys-like, killed—”

“Killed? What have you kids been up to? I knew we shouldn’t have trusted aguefort with children—”

“So it’s chill now! And like, bringing about the apocalypse is only going to give them what they want, so maybe don’t do that. I get it though, like I’ve been exactly where you are. Like, exactly. Crazy how the world works, right? Anyways, my name’s Kristen. What’s yours?”

Enter cassandra!

The summer wraps up. The question remains: where do they go from here?

Sandra lynn and gilear have decided that separating is the best option for them. And over their visits, sandra lynns gotten to know jawbone and there’s definitely something there…

I think it’s kind of bittersweet. Sandra lynn and fig move in with jawbone, and sklonda and riz and gorthalax go back to their old place. Summer doesn’t last forever, as much as anyone might want it to, but you don’t need to go back to how you were before. Gorthalax visits fig all the time, and when he can, riz joins, and when sklonda can, she comes along as well. She’s got friends in gravity falls too. Maybe it’s about learning to trust that people will put in the effort to keep up with each other when it gets more difficult. Maybe it’s about the family you find along the way, and the ways you’ll always keep them. Maybe life doesn’t work out how you thought. Maybe reality sets in, overtaking the summer haze. Maybe it’s better. Who knows?

Where did kalina go? What was her whole deal? I have no idea.