#there's a post my friend from houston shared at one point that was like. people from texas will be like.
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commsroom · 9 months ago
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a big part of what makes eiffel feel like such a real person to me is that he's so average and unfulfilled even by attainable metrics. like, not even getting into any pop culture escapist fantasies. eiffel is the kind of guy who thinks if he was born a few decades earlier he'd be a traveling musician living out of a van, but realistically he'd be doing more or less the same stuff. he could be a local radio dj or a guy with a used record store or drive an old truck and have a yard full of rusty old cars up on cinder blocks he's trying to revitalize. he could be a skater, if he had the patience, and, um. the balance. zach once said that if eiffel had the money he'd buy a motorcycle and never learn how to ride it, just take a bunch of pictures of himself with it and tinker with it constantly, and if anyone asked why he doesn't ride it, he'd keep saying he wants to do some more work on it first. i think about that so much. there are a lot of things that he could do, that fit his sort of character archetype, and they aren't even remarkable things, but he doesn't. eiffel drove a corolla and worked at pizza hut and probably lived in a shitty apartment. sincerely, this is the best thing about him. this is why he's a real guy to me.
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swiss-mrs · 11 months ago
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Chapter Two: Rebel Tour
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Life Eternal Series
Eddie Munson x Rockstar!POC!
Word Count: 3.5K
All writing is in second POV, but No Use of Y/N.
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It’s been 2 months since the band’s stop in Indiana. You’ve called Eddie from every Hotel and Motel you’ve stopped in. Each call lasted no less than an hour. It never seemed like you ran out of things to say. Whether it was updates on your tour, or updates on his dreaded job search, you guys always had something to say to each other.
Your stop in Nashville was how you found out about his first guitar, an acoustic Wayne found at a garage sale for $15. Your stop in Atlanta was when you told him about your first performance, a middle school talent show. You were so nervous that you forgot the lyrics to the song you were performing. You can’t listen to Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” the same anymore.
Your stop in Houston was when he shared his first crush, a cheerleader he met in middle school, and when you found out that it took him three tries to graduate. Dallas was where you shared that you dropped out in your freshman year. “I ended up getting my GED once the band had enough money to get comfortable.”
Denver is when you told him about your heart breaker phase as a teenager. “Well, that’s not hard to believe.” He would smile into the phone.
“Yeah, had all the curious chicks crawling to my door.” You’d tease back.
Phoenix was mainly spent talking about the vibe you were going for in the band’s next album. “I want to tell a story, you know? We’re two albums in, now, and I feel like it’s time to come out with something that embodies this current era of my life. I want to listen back on this album in 5 years and know exactly what I was thinking, what I was feeling, hell, what I was eating in these very moments.”
L.A. and Sacramento were spent bouncing off ideas for the next album, coming up with concepts, even sharing quick, off-the-dome lyrics.
Your current stop is Seattle. You were posted up in Washington for a few days. All the band’s family and friends were here, so a point was made to allow time to visit loved ones. Earlier this day, you were able to see Mr and Mrs. Hemming, Marley’s parents. They were always such a loving, open-minded couple. They were the ones who took you in all those years ago. They were big hippies back in the day, huge Hendrix fans, so they never judged you and always made you feel welcome, like you belonged. They were the closest thing you had to a family, a home.
It’s been a good three days since you last talked to Eddie. You've yet to make the call from your Washington hotel room. Most of your time here was spent in bittersweet sentiment. You got to see people who cared and supported you, old faces, but it also brought back lots of unwelcome memories. Right now, you were huddled up in your lonely hotel room. It was fancy, basically a luxury one bedroom apartment. The tour budget had extra money for a nicer room since you were the only one needing to be housed on this stop.
You were laid out on the bed, the TV playing some random sitcom on low volume as background noise. You had been laying like this for at least an hour, staring into the void that is the golden lined ceiling. You let out a big sigh, and prop yourself up on your elbows. You glare at the TV, before caving in and grabbing the corded phone on the nightstand just left of you. You have his number memorized by now.
“Hello?” a raspy voice says.
“Eddie?” you ask a little confused.
“Superstar,” he says a bit more enthusiastically but still a bit groggy, “what’s up? Everything okay? How’s Seattle?” He asks, you can hear some shuffling around in the background. This is the point when you look over to the clock on the bedside table to your right. Your eyes widen.
“Oh my god. I am so sorry. I didn’t realize what time it was.” It was midnight, 3AM his time. He chuckles.
“And here I am thinking you just wanted to hear my sexy morning voice.” He teases. For the first time ever, you are so glad you weren’t seeing each other in person. Your face burned. “What’s got you up so late? Were you out partying like an animal?” He asks sarcastically. You scoff.
“Yeah, partying like the world’s ending.” You reply, equally sarcastic. “I’m sorry,” you apologize earnestly, “I just wanted to talk with you, but I should’ve looked at the time before calling. I’ll let you go back to bed. Sorry.” You say, almost hanging up.
“Woah there. Hold on, now. I was just taking a little nap.” He lies, “I’m up. Let’s talk.” He says, more shuffling could be heard, probably him sitting up. “What’s on your mind, princess?” He ask, making your heart jump. You honestly don’t have much energy to tease him over the pet name. You sigh.
“Well, being back here, it's just,” you pause, “It’s bringing back a lot of memories, a lot of emotions I thought I left behind. In all honesty, I’m struggling here a little, Eds.” You admit, a bit shaky. There’s a short pause on his end.
“You want to tell me about it?” He asks gently. You pause, thinking.
“I don’t know. I don’t wanna bore you back to sleep.” You joke, deflecting.
“I’m listening.” He says without missing a beat, stern yet comforting. You sign and lay back down on your back, staring up at the ceiling again. For a few breaths, all that could be heard was staged laughter and shitty sitcom jokes from the TV.
“I’m not originally from Haven.” you start. “Growing up, I bounced around a lot. Home to home, state to state, until I eventually went out completely on my own and just kind of landed in Haven when I was 15… When I got there, I spent an entire year by myself. I found this small, abandoned neighborhood on the outskirts of town. It was overgrown and pretty hidden, perfect for a runaway. I lived in the one house that still had most of its furniture and the least pests issues.” You chuckle. “I was getting so used to being by myself until one day I ran into this kid, this little girl with curly hair down to her knees. She didn’t look older than 12 years old, but she had flashy, bedazzled makeup and the cutest little sundress on.” You reminisce on the memory with a smile. “She was riding her bike around her trailer park and stopped when she saw me passing by. Told me her name was Marley, like Bob Marley. Said that her parents told her to always help someone who was in need, and told me that I looked like I needed a friend.” You laugh, hearing her childish voice clear as day in your mind. “Who knew that in that moment, my life would change forever. She would go on to introduce me to her parents, two hippies straight out the 70s, and her neighbor, this dark haired nerdy kid with glasses.” You couldn’t see it, but Eddie was smiling at your recounting of some sweet memories. “Charlie was so short back then. We’re the same age, but he didn’t even look older than Marley at that time. The little dweeb didn’t really hit puberty till we were 17.” You pause, smiling at the past. “Adam joined in after that, being somewhat of Charlie’s mentor and protector during the dork’s freshman year. We met Stacy when she was babysitting one of the other kids in the park. Adam had a crush on her from the start, but he was too shy. She knew, but she was playing hard to get.” You roll your eyes. “Somehow Rick weaseled his way to befriending Charlie, and the rest is history.” You pause, loads of memories of how far you’ve all come flashing in your mind all at once. You shake your head. “These are the memories I never want to forget. We built a family, you know? It's crazy to think about it. They’ve all been so important to me for so long that I forget I had a life before them.” You close your eyes.
“That’s beautiful, hun.” He says, sighing into the receiver.
“Yeah.” you say with a short laugh.
“But that’s not why you called me.” He says softly, knowing you have more to get off your chest.
“Yeah…” you trail.
“I’m here.” He says, trying to comfort best he could over the phone. You take a deep breath.
“Yeah,” you start back up, “good memories are not what I’m struggling with.” You clench your jaw, furrowing your brows in frustration. “Everything was going great after I met the band. We even became a damn near town legend. The satanic teens living out in the ghost town in the woods.” you state dramatically and laugh. “Everything was great, best I ever thought my life would get, until it got better.” A sad smile creeps into your face. “We used to hold ‘concerts’, if you could call them that, out in the woods. We called them ‘seances’, really leaning into the whole antichrist thing we had going on. We did it for three years. Some times we’d perform, other times we just threw parties. One day, Summer of ‘97, we were throwing an ‘End of Summer’ party. I met this girl.” you pause. “She was gorgeous. She had curly, blonde hair, big brown eyes, and this big, bucked tooth smile that lit up the world.” You smile the entire way, thinking back fondly, “She was so short and skinny and innocent looking. You would’ve never guessed she had such a powerful singing voice. She was perfect.” You sigh. “She was a theater kid with a dad who worked for this music production agency based in Seattle. She was insanely smart, and you could tell just by looking at her that she was really going places. That’s what really made her stand out from the hundred other kids there. She wore this oversized, black leather jacket, light wash jeans, and a hot pink top." Your eyes dance around the ceiling as you remember the details of that night. “Me being me. I toyed with her my entire performance. I was desperate to get her to notice me, but I wanted to play it off like she was just another pretty face in the crowd. I was really driving that heartbreaker thing I was going with.” You laugh. “I don’t know how, but my little facade worked. Turns out she had a little sister around Marley’s age, Peyton. Man, that little girl was a riot. She matched Marley’s wild energy perfectly… Somehow the stars aligned for my ratty ass, and I got the girl, against all odds.” you chuckle dryly. Your eyes begin to sadden as you pause, running through the end of that story. “I just… couldn’t keep her…” You feel your eyes begin to burn and your nose tickle. You huff a humorless laugh from your nose, shaking your head, frowning.
“You alright, hun?” Eddie breaks your silence. You breathe in sharply, getting your bad thoughts and pushing them aside.
“Yeah, I just… hm…” you sigh, trying to gather yourself. “Mariana.” You pause again, a name once so familiar, now almost feeling foreign on your tongue. “That was her name… She was someone I thought was going to be my forever person, you know… But things change. People. People… change. I was young and naive. I should’ve known better than anyone that things too good to be true don’t last, at least not for me. I feel so incredibly lucky I’ve even made it this far with the amazing people I have.”
“It’s not luck.” He interjects. “It’s talent. You deserve it.” He brings back, “Remember, that’s what you said to me when we first met.” he pauses, “People… People like us? We don’t get by on luck. We get by because we work for what we deserve. Sometimes, when we get what we’ve been aiming for, it doesn’t feel deserved. It feels like luck, but not this time. You are the reason for your success. You’ve earned it, babe. Don’t sell yourself short for that.” He speaks earnestly. You laugh.
“Maybe one day I’ll believe that, Eds. Things haven’t always been this high. I haven’t always done this well. I’ve fallen, Eddie, hard and flat on my face, and I’ve nearly fucked up everything for everyone else. I don’t know if I can confidently say I’m completely out of the pit, now, but I’m definitely not where I was. I’m glad you didn’t have to see me at my worst.” You confess. There’s a silence between you two. It doesn’t last long, but it lasts long enough for you to get nervous and doubt whether you should've said what you said.
“That don’t change my mind about you, kid.” Eddie’s voice rings through, determined. “You… I… You and I have more in common…” He sighs, trying to find the word. “Look, I get you. I see you. I hear you, and I will never judge you.” He says truthfully. “I’m here for you, always and forever. I hope you understand that.” You smile sadly. “I will always be there. I’m here to support your right and wrongs.” He jokes, bringing a small laugh out of you. “And I promise to be here for you whenever you need, whether that's a shoulder to cry on or an alibi.” He smiles through the phone.
“Oh my god, I didn’t kill anyone.” You interrupt, laughing.
“I’m just sayin’” He laughs back, “I got a shovel and a van whenever you need, babe.” You share a good laugh.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” You continue as the laughter dies down, “Thank you, Eddie… really.” You pour out, hoping your sincerity and gratitude come through the phone clearly. He lets ou a soft chuckle.
“I gotchu.” He yawns out, causing you to yawn as well. He chuckles, “I think you should get some rest, superstar.” He says gently. You turn to look at the clock again, its passed 1AM. You sigh.
“Probably.” you yawn again. “I love talking with you, Eddie.” He smiles on the other end of the call.
“Me too. I was starting to get a little nervous there. Haven’t heard from you in a couple days.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. As soon as we got here, we performed, then after that, I went around with the band and saw old friends. Today was the first day I had to myself and it was really getting me down. Sorry, again, to call and wake you with blues.” You pout, he chuckles tiredly.
“No problem. I’m glad you called. Will you be there for much longer?”
“Well, this is our last stop on the tour. Final show is tomorrow… or tonight.” you correct. Eddie scoffs.
“You really need to rest then-”
“Yeah, I know. I know.” You cut in. “Hey, are you gonna be busy in three weeks?” There’s a pause.
“Uh… I don’t think so…?”
“Good, come out to New York to visit me. We can do some proper song writing, finally.”
“Oh, um, I don’t know about that, sweetheart.” He says. Your brows furrow. “I mean, I’m still job hunting and, you know, I gotta help Wayne out as best as I can, and I don’t know if I can make that trip happen.” He stumbles awkwardly.
“Nonsense. Just keep your schedule free, I gotchu.” You say, mimicking his words from earlier. You can’t see it, but his sleepy brain is struggling to pick up what you're putting down. “Get back to sleep, rockstar. I’ll talk to you later, alright?” Right on queue, he yawns. “Stop that!” you yawn back. He laughs.
“Alright, alright. Talk later.” He says with a smile.
“Bye, Eddie.”
“Bye, Superstar.”
》》》
Three days pass after your last conversation with Eddie. You had given Eddie a call the morning after your final show before you left your hotel. “Tour’s finally over! I’m flying back out to New York this afternoon.” You would tell him. You would talk for the entire morning until you received a knock on your door to let you know that the car was there to take you to the airport. You promised to call him when you got settled back home.
“You got mail, Ed!” Wayne called out to him from the living room. Eddie hops up from his desk and out of the stiff chair.
“Coming!” He swings open his door and walks down the hall to find Wayne in the kitchen sorting through envelopes.
“From someone named ‘Superstar’?” He says as Eddie grabs the envelope off the counter.
“Thanks, old man.” Eddie grins widely and walks to the living room, plopping down on the squeaky couch. He rips the envelope open with his dull pocket knife, flipping the envelope over and pulling out its contents. He stills in shock.
“Everything alright?” Wayne pipes up, realizing Eddie freezes. He holds up two plane tickets with his name on them and a thick paper check addressed to ‘Wayne Munson’. Wayne’s brows crease, enhancing the wrinkles on his forehead. “What’s that?”
“I gotta make a call.” Eddie says abruptly. He hops up off the couch and runs to his bedroom, half closing the door just as he picks up the phone, he pauses. “Shit!” He says as he realizes you’ve never called him from your house before. He doesn’t have your number. “Shit!”
“What?!” Wayne yells from the kitchen.
“Nothing-” he’s cut off by a ring. Eddie puts the headset down and picks it back up. “Hello?”
“Hey, Rockstar.” Your voice comes through the line. He yells your name. “What? You get your mail, finally?” He yells your name again, causing you to laugh.
“You couldn’t possibly be serious right now!” He yells into the headset, looking down at the mail in his hands.
“Don’t be mad, but I couldn’t just stand by as you and your uncle struggle. Plus, you promised to help me write this album. No take backsies.” Eddie is speechless, yet again. He says your name a bit softer this time.
“I… I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything, just don’t miss your flight, pretty boy.” You say, smile evident in your worlds. He chuckles in disbelief, shaking his head.
“It’s already paid for. There’s no going back.” he said.
“Exactly.” You respond.
“Thank you, truly. I can’t thank you enough.”
“No need. I’m here for you just as you are here for me. I’m just grateful to be in a position where I can finally give back to those who give to me.” You say truthfully with a smile. Your smile is contagious through the phone, Eddie’s face breaks out in a huge smile. Wayne leans back curiously to get a glimpse at Eddie down the hall and through his cracked door. He gives Eddie a confused look. Eddie gave him an ‘okay’ sign with a big smile. Wayne nods, leaning back up and busying himself in the kitchen.
“You know, you’re too good to me, princess.” He chuckles. You giggle, blushing on the other end of the line. Eddie can almost see it.
“See you soon, pretty boy.” Eddie’s bright smile grows impossibly wider, hurting his cheeks.
“See you soon.” You both hang up at the same time. As soon as the phone is down, he jumps up and down like a madman, nearly hitting his head on the low ceilings in his room. He runs out of his room, startling his uncle at the burst of energy. Eddie hugs the older man in a big bear hug, grabbing his balding head and plants a kiss on the top of it. Wayne, completely bewildered, looks at Eddie like he’s grown two heads.
“Boy, what is going on?” He asks suspiciously. Eddie holds up the tickets and check for Wayne to get a good look at them. Wayne furrows his brows as he reads what's on the pieces of paper.
“I can’t accept this, Ed.”
“Listen, the angel who sent this to us is more stubborn than me, so you’ll have an easier time just taking the check and using it to pay those.” he points to the growing stack of overdue bills. Wayne looks back at the envelopes adorned with red writing. He sighs, giving in. Eddie hands him the check.
“If she’s as stubborn as you say, good luck.” He takes the check from Eddie’s hand and grabs his coat and keys, “I’ll be back.” He says before heading out. Eddie watches him leave through the screen door. As soon as he’s driven away, Eddie starts jumping up and down again, letting out a gleeful cheer.
“Thank you.” He says, giving a kiss to the plane tickets.
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Life Eternal Taglist (OPEN): @ali-r3n @starmilks @madelynraemunson
Swisslist (General Taglist): @rosecentury @smashingmodels
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septembersghost · 2 years ago
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Sorry for sending so many negative asks and you don’t have to answer the last two, or if you want to you can answer what I said about Gen Z on here. I had a hard year last year and can honestly say watching the Elvis movie in theaters, Austin’s great performance, and getting into Elvis helped me get through it. It just sucks going online for the past year and reading nothing but hateful and negative comments about Elvis and Austin on the internet, especially from holier than thou Gen Zers who have no problem stanning people who are way worse :/
going to begin with this screenshot i saved the other day, that truly just encapsulates a lot to me:
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also this gif my friend chelsea shared with me of el banishing haters for us. 😊 begone!
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i have a lot to say to this and am unsure where to begin, so allow me to start here:
I had a hard year last year and can honestly say watching the Elvis movie in theaters, Austin’s great performance, and getting into Elvis helped me get through it. <- first and foremost, WITH ALL MY HEART, this is the point. this is what's important. that experience belongs to you, and it's BEAUTIFUL and meaningful, and there's nothing that can or should take that away from you. i am SO glad you had the film and austin's stunning performance, and then discovering more in e himself to help you. the value in that is unbelievably special, and it's unique in all of us who discover that solace in art and hold onto it in our own ways. the film has come to mean more to me than i can express in silly little posts here, and i haven't had that for a long time.
i'm so sorry you were having a hard time, i understand in my own way. i didn't expect to even make it through last year myself. there is a particular depth of connection and some measure of healing that came with this that i can't explain except to say it exists on some spiritual level. idk if you were here when i wrote a post on the night of the grammys, but there's a significant part of myself that i'd been without for a long time, and maybe didn't even fully know was missing, that e almost immediately set back. as if that broken piece of stained glass mosaic was there, but had been knocked out of place, and when it was restored, the picture was more whole again, and i could breathe a bit easier. like a bridge over troubled water. you don't know what's lost 'til you find it! i sincerely hope that you're doing better now <333
i have to cut this because it's long. 💗
i don't know where exactly you're reading negative comments, maybe i've just been very fortunate to avoid them since i've encountered them so rarely and block the few i've seen immediately (and anyone who has anything negative to say about aus is deranged on some level, when he's unequivocally humble and kind in every interaction he has. the only things i've seen about him are inane voice comments, and not only is that not funny, and was never funny, it's also clear anyone who thinks that has never listened to a clip of elvis speaking for two seconds in their life, as they sound nothing alike! i hate that something which should only have been joyful and made him feel proud has made him self-conscious because the media can't ignore trolls on the internet. austin is such a genuine soul). regarding elvis himself, he was certainly a complex human being, but he was unquestionably a GOOD one. it takes so little time to discover exactly who he was and all that he stood for, all he did.
it's like i read a story yesterday about how, when he performed at the houston astrodome, the owner told him he didn't want black people onstage and to leave the sweet inspirations behind, and elvis was like, absolutely not, they're included or i walk, period. and then he had had them driven in a car around the arena so that everyone could see them. it's such a typical story for him (standing up for people he loved and what he believed in with a delightful dose of king shit defiant behavior). it's why it's so easy to dispel ANY claim of racism because he was distinctly anything but, and there are countless stories recounting why.
you said: To add to my comment, I can’t stand reading most zoomers opinions of Elvis because the takes are almost always misinformed and hateful yet they worship artists like (he who shall not be named, I sent you a previous anon about him) 🤷‍♀️
speaking as your millennial elder sister here, i assume they either erroneously believe he somehow mistreated people of color (could not be less true), "stole" his music and/or misappropriated culture (absolutely not the case, and if anything, he succeeded in BREAKING a lot of barriers), or the situation with priscilla. i've addressed cilla before, but anyone making that into a more salacious situation than it was is not HEARING her specifically. they victimize her without listening to a word she says about the life that is HERS. about things that were in place before they got married, about the love they had for one another. they victimize her without her consent and i find that really upsetting. they're also not hearing any of the other women he was ever romantically involved with who have shared about him extensively, nor the women who were around him platonically who adored him. or they're listening to GROSS unfounded lies perpetuated by alanna nash, who i'm on record despising. did he have some ingrained patriarchal concepts? sure. he was a white man born in 1935, but none of those ideas were outrageous and it's not fair to even weigh that against our social mores in 2023, when we've been without him for 46 years. he had tremendous respect and love (not merely in the physical way) for women. he had tremendous respect and love for PEOPLE. i think of myrna saying elvis would've loved her just the same, no matter what color she was, because of who he was. it's infuriating for that to be taken away from him by people who don't even bother to do their research or try to spend a moment lending him compassion and understanding.
not to play the whatboutism game, but the person you mention has FAR worse and actually credible allegations, and yet that gets waved off all the time. i could name...a number of very famous men who have concrete abuse allegations or stories of very dark/disturbing things, and it simply gets ignored. i could mention someone who's oft-revered who was also a misogynist, racist, antisemitic homophobe and gets very little criticism. it's crazy to me that elvis gets any of those accusations when there's documented proof of his charitable work for black people (and literally growing up with and attending church with and learning alongside of and befriending and defending!), for jewish people (including being a shabbos goy as a child!), his generosity and care for others, and so on. someone sent me an anon the other day saying they feel like people online hold him to an unfair double standard (and they referenced a different famous musician who is far more problematic), which i responded to here. the fact of the matter is, a lot of it is rooted in caricature and parody and unfair jokes/stereotypes, some of which is incorrect judgment of elvis as a human being, some of which is this idea that anyone from the south must be stupid and racist, which is wildly unfair. remember: YOU KNOW MORE THAN THEM. i KNOW it hurts and is depressing and feels bad to not be able to fight back and defend him and prove his worth to everyone who discounts him, but that's on them and they don't get it, which is their loss. tbh anyone who doesn't get it can fuck right off. you know what he means to you.
the thing about elvis is, he had this...all-encompassing need for connection and understanding, and there was some part of him always seeking that. be that spiritually, and in his deep faith and interest in many avenues of philosophical study/thought, or in his approach to love of any kind. he didn't want to be just one thing to people, he wanted to, in some way, be everything. which maybe is too much for anyone to strive towards, but it was in his essence. chelsea also recently told me elvis was very interested in all the different definitions of love - the greek words, storge, philia, eros, agape, etc, and i personally feel a strong connection to that because that's always captivated me too, not merely the differences, but the way they inform each other. how we express love in this world.
el having a temper or making some mistakes in his life does not negate the artistry he possessed, nor, on a much more personal level, the amount of good he did and heart and soul he shared with people. loved ones, family, romances, fans, he had this boundless sense of love.
which brings me to us. i mean it when i say i believe it would mean everything to him if he knew how many new people, ESPECIALLY young people, are discovering him and embracing him and remembering him.
going to quote chelsea again: "it's like the people who find him are the good ones, you know? the thoughtful, loyal, interesting ones who see him as a full person. which is all he ever wanted."
i believe, without question, that he would love us so much. i believe he was meant for us to find him. i believe it would touch his soul to know he's had an impact on us, or helped us make it through, or healed something in us in any way. that would be worth everything to him. and he's so alive in our hearts, and i know he's going to stay there. that's what has the meaning, that's what remains.
to repeat this post from the other day:
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i was having a discussion with tam like five minutes before this tweet was posted, about the people who dismiss him or belittle him not understanding the truth of who he was, not loving him for the whole of him the way that we do, so when this was tweeted, it felt almost like a sign from the universe. no matter how loud the clamor of denial, WE know what that love truly is.
you decide where to put your love. you know what restores your spirit. that matters through everything. i believe he reached out to and moved austin for a reason, that that performance was meant to happen. and deep in my heart, i believe there's some light of his reaching back that sparks in ours.
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jayarrarr · 1 year ago
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Jen’s Dating Chronicles: Installment the Seventh
I'm breaking a number of rules with this post. Broken rule the first is that I told myself when I started this series that I would only write installments about people once the "relationship" was over or had run its course, and that is most certainly not the case here. Broken rule the second is that I told myself with installment the sixth that I was done and I wasn't going to write any more of these, yet here we are. Broken rule the third is that I never give identifying details about any of the people I talk about in these posts, but said strict anonymity seems a bit past the point here, and especially given broken rule the first, and more especially given that the person I'm about to tell y'all about was once a member of the Tumblr Writing Community, such as it was way back in the day, and that makes anonymity seem silly and pointless, even more especially given that I have posted pics of myself with this person on this very blog. Three. That's three broken rules. Three is a number. So yeah. Sometimes there are people just sort of hanging out in the background of your life. That's not to say that you never talk to them, or that you don't consider them to be friends of a fashion, or that you've never shared any deep or thought-provoking or emotional content with each other—we read each other's writing, for fuck's sake. But things don't click until they do. We didn't meet on an app, at least not a dating app, and not unless you consider Tumblr a dating app (some of us do, tho, it seems—I've had more actual relationships through Tumblr than through Tinder or Bumble or any of the others that purport to shove people's faces in your face so you can find someone to play mate with). And we weren't strangers, not really, even though we'd never met in person. We started chatting about writing one day and that conversation became a conversation about something else that became a conversation about something else again and so on and that conversation has never really stopped since June 21 when it started. So maybe that explains why, on the first of July, we were on the phone and I jokingly intimated when we were six hours into what would become an all-night phone conversation, that rarest of breeds, that if I'd gotten in the car when we first started talking I'd be halfway to him by then. And we kinda laughed about it and it was kinda funny but also kinda not funny because it planted a seed in my mind and that seed grew immediately and had to be harvested pretty damn quick and that's when I said, "I'm driving to Houston tomorrow." And then I passed out on the phone. This is the sort of thing that happens when you're on the phone all night. And then I woke up at 11 a.m. and my first thought was, "Did I really just say I was driving to Houston tomorrow?" And after I'd determined that wasn't some sort of fever dream, I commenced to trying to talk myself out of driving 12 hours and I just couldn't come up with enough reasons not to. I really couldn't come up with any reasons not to, apart from the "driving 12 hours" part, because I don't know about you but that doesn't exactly sound like the best time. Although, if I'm honest, I was less concerned with the driving down and more concerned with the driving back. If things went well, the driving back would be bittersweet. If things didn't go well, the driving back would be annoying. Neither bittersweet nor annoying are pleasant. So basically there's no way that the driving back would be a good time, even if the driving there wasn't the best. And yet. So off I went on Sunday, and you know what? The drive wasn't all that bad. At some moments, it was even really fucking cool. Was it the best? Eh. And then I got here and ever since I got here everything has been amazing. Sometimes there are people just sort of hanging out in the background of your life. And then, one day, they move into the foreground and everything clicks and the world comes into focus like things are just a little brighter and a little sharper than you ever noticed them being before. But before I left I assured everyone I talked to about this venture that there was no way in hell my fucking ass was moving to fucking Houston. I'm allowed to be wrong. So that's where I'm at right now. Falling in love and moving to Houston. One thing I didn't see happening any time soon, the other thing I didn't see happening ever. But ain't that the beauty of it? Take a fucking risk sometimes just to see what happens. It might suck, but it might also be something grand.
And just in case you’re wondering what happened to the guy from Installment the Sixth—he lied to me. Don’t lie to me.
© 2023 by Jennifer R.R. Mueller
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makeyoumine69 · 2 years ago
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MASTERLIST 🪓
This is Patrick Bateman's zone, so beware of extremely explicit content (18+ if you can't guess). Please do not copy, take my work, and post it anywhere else. Reblogs and comments are always welcome! 💗
A big thanks to @spaghettificationandpretzels for this amazing banner! 🥰
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Please, check out how to change your Tumblr content settings before reading! 🖤
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Multi-chapters:
— Sweet like a Cupcake 🧁
Summary: You’re involved in a toxic unhealthy relationship with Patrick Bateman where he wants to be your Daddy and you to be his little Cupcake. Will you find a way out from this situation or still remain in his power?
— Shadow Lady ⛓
Summary: You have been kidnapped and sent to the human trade market, where Mr. Bateman was looking for someone who could become his perfect f*ckdoll.
— Call Me Babydoll👄
Summary: You always considered yourself a daddy’s girl. You’ve been close to your father ever since you were a baby, but after your mom’s death, you became more attached to him than ever. Life was peaceful, simple, it was only you and your beloved father… until it wasn’t. Ever since Patrick Bateman suddenly entered your life and set his eyes on you, many problems started to arise. Patrick was supposed to be off limits, since he’s your dad’s business partner and dearest friend, but you can’t deny that he stirs some special feelings inside your heart.
— Memory Reboot 💔 (Completed)
Summary: You work at P&P, and one day you come into Bateman's office and witness his breakdown. Your attempts to comfort him only increase his obsession with you, and without realizing it, you push this man to his limits. The outburst that finds you both in a club called the Tunnel will change your lives forever and irrevocably.
— Till Death Do Us Part 🪓
Summary: 1987. Your name is Rebecca Rice, you were born in Houston, Texas, but then your family moved to New York City in hopes of a better life. And it really paid off, as your father became successful in business and made several important acquisitions—the Bateman family being one of them. You and Patrick have known each other since childhood, but you have never liked each other. A golden boy from day one, he despised you because you were not as rich as he was. Fortunately, you parted ways after high school and have seen each other several times over the years, as your mother has a good relationship with Mrs. Bateman. At some point, you even thought that your teenage crush on Patrick had faded and you finally managed to build relationships with another guy, but sadly, it didn't work out because your family didn't accept him. Just like they didn't like your choice of career, but you didn't care because you always wanted to work in the medical field and help people, being a nurse was really tough. The hardest times came when one day your mother told you that in order to help your father you had to marry Patrick Bateman and you had no other choice because you didn't even know what was behind this deal, but you promised yourself that one day you would find the answers to all your questions. If you survived this marriage, of course. For it was obvious that sooner or later everyone would expect you to bring an heir into this world. The world of corruption and sin.
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Bingo Writing Challenge Masterlist🔥
1k Followers Celebration Masterlist ✌
My imagines and short requests 💗
2k Followers Celebration Masterlist 🖤
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One-shots:
All I Want for Christmas Is You
My little Meow Meow
No One but You
Toxic
Angel Boy
Because I want You (commission)
Blood Sweat & Tears
I Would Be Lost Without You (commission)
Starfall (commission)
Sorry Not Sorry (commission)
My Dear Little Girl
A Helping Hand (commission)
I Like It Rough (Patrick Bateman x Fem!OC)
Neglected (Patrick Bateman x Fem!OC)
Heal Me
Pink (Patrick Bateman x Fem!OC)
A little bit possessive
In The Air Tonight
Shape of You
Insatiable
Vibe With Me (Modern AU)
A Shared Mind (Patrick Bateman x Male!Reader)
Reckless
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Mini-Series:
The Light in the Darkness: [Ch.1], [Ch.2].
Unravel Desire: [Ch.1].
Flesh n' Bones | Hospital AU
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Headcanons:
NSFW HEADCANONS (A-Z)
𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟│𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍
Morning sex with Patrick | NSFW HEADCANON
Clingy!Patrick Bateman x Insecure!Fem!Reader | NSFW HEADCANON
Husband!Patrick Bateman having a breeding kink | NSFW HEADCANON
Being Bateman's Tradwife | NSFW HEADCANON
Being Bateman’s Soulmate
Patrick Bateman being a perfect switch | NSFW HEADCANON
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NSFW Ramblings:
Daddy Knows Best (full version)
Good Morning, Babe (Patrick's POV)
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CO-WRITING:
— My Lovely Detective 🩸 (Patrick Bateman x Fem!Detective!OC)
Summary: Being a detective in New York was pretty hard, and being a woman detective was even harder, but not for Andrea Moore. Despite the fact that she lived the life of an average American without any luxury or wealth, she loved her job, her life and her boyfriend, who always supported her. One day, her boss — Detective Kimball — assigned her to a case regarding the disappearance of a very rich man from Wall Street named Paul Allen, and her first task became to interrogate the man who was suspected to be connected to it. From that moment on, Andrea would have to reveal what secrets were hidden behind the perfect facade of Patrick Bateman...
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alpacaparkaseok · 4 years ago
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Pairing: doctor!Jungkook x reader (ok, technically clinical technician!Jungkook lol)
Wordcount: 1.6k
Genre/Rating: Fluff! strangers to friends to a lil’ more 👀👀
Tags/Warnings: mentions blood just for a moment (when talking about JK’s work). shouldn’t be anything too crazy, Jungkook is just your annoying new neighbor that sings abnoxiously loud in the shower. oh, and did I mention that the two of you share a wall? 
a/n: You wonderful, beautiful people! This post is a commission for the ARMY for AAPI Justice and Advocacy Event. Please click here to find more resources and consider donating to the cause! And THANK YOU @ezralia-writes for commissioning this! *insert round of applause and flowers* I hope you enjoy!
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April 23rd
You should’ve known it was too good to be true.
You’d been living in utter bliss for the past six months, having moved across the city to a relatively quiet part of town. You had a neighbor; you were sure of it. Had seen their car in the parking lot too many times to not have one.
It’s just, you never heard them. Let alone saw them.
Which was completely fine. The loud, obnoxious lifestyle people usually adopted in a city as bustling as Seoul had never suited you anyway. For six months, you basked in the glorious silence from your next door neighbor. The only signal that you ever got that they were even there was the occasional time you’d both be showering at the same time. Your bathrooms shared a wall, which you tried to ignore. Thankfully, your neighbor seemed to ignore it as well.
So why is there a man suddenly belting out I Will Always Love You as though performing a one-man tribute to Whitney Houston?
The sound of his booming voice nearly knocked you off your feet as you made quick work of shaving your legs. Surely he must have heard your shower running! Can’t a woman get some peace and quiet on a Friday morning?! There’s nothing to celebrate yet!
You even make a point of clearing your throat loud enough to be heard on the other side of the wall, but he doesn’t falter in his loud, albeit dazzling, rendition of the song. He pauses for a second, giving you just enough time to let out a sigh of relief and begin on your other leg.
Leg soapy and ready to be shaved, you make it halfway through one swipe before the singing starts up again.
He only paused to switch songs. Whitney Houston tribute over, he begins a passionate ode to Adele’s greatest hits.
“What did I do to deserve this?” You sigh, resolving to finish up before the song is over and you’re subjected to another.
May 1st
           It begins innocently enough. After a week of subjecting you to his siren-like voice, there’s a knock on your door. Of course, you assume it’s the food you’d ordered, so you just finish throwing your sweatshirt on before wrenching the door open.
           “Hey,” you look up to tell the deliverer that you just need to grab your wallet, but your mouth runs dry at the sight before you.
           Grinning with a friendly smile that might be a bit of overkill, a boy – nah, a whole man if we’re being honest here – gives you a sheepish wave. His long brown hair is falling into his eyes, which he meticulously brushes off to the side.
           “Hey! You must be my neighbor!” When you keep staring at him with what you hope is a look of neutrality, he flushes a deep red. “I- er, I mean, obviously. That was kind of dumb of me…”
           “You’re not the food guy?” It’s the only you can think to say, willing your eyes to focus in on his face and not the way his sweatshirt and sweats look on him. “Uh…I mean, yeah. Neighbors.”
           The man before you lets out an adorable chuckle at your silly comment. “Oh, good. I’m not the only awkward one here.”
           “Woah! I’m not awkward! I’m just hungry!” You cry out, making him only laugh harder.
           “I’m Jungkook, by the way,” he says, nose crinkling as you look at him with wide eyes. So this is what was on the other side of the wall, belting out Mariah Carey this morning. “I just moved in last week, and realized that I haven’t even come over to say hello. You know, like a friendly neighbor should.”
           “Hey, Jungkook.” You look around, wondering if there’s anyone else outside witnessing this incredibly awkward first meeting. “I, uh, well…I’m me.”
           He snorts. “Yeah, I know. I’m assuming your name is the one on the mailbox? Next to mine?”
           We have mailboxes??
           “Oh, ha! Yeah, that’d be it.” You shuffle back and forth on your feet, unsure of what to say next. “Well, I thought you were the delivery service-“
           “I just delivered food, too!” Jungkook says with a grin. He runs his hands up and down his arms even though it’s not cold outside. “I was thinking that…you know, we could eat together? I actually ended up ordering extra, but it looks like that wasn’t necessary.”
           You grin, settling against your doorframe. “Ah, so you’re here to woo me with takeout? You should’ve just said so.”
           It looks like Jungkook’s considering moving again. He swallows thickly, eyes flitting over to you before staring down at your floor. “Actually…I heard you watching TV…were you watching Wanda Vision?” When you nod, he sucks in a breath. “It’s just, I haven’t bought a TV yet, and-“
          “Oh, tough luck. Good luck with that.��� You burst out into a fit of giggles at the tentative look in his eyes. Silently forgiving him for all those mornings that doubled as musicals over the past week, you wing the door open a little wider and gesture for him to come inside. “Come in, I need someone to bounce theories off anyways.”
           That’s all it takes before Jungkook is bounding inside, settling down on your couch with an air of comfortability that seems so at odds with his shy nature. Then again, everything about him seems to contradict his shy smile.
           You like it.
June 2nd
What originally started as a simple friendship; Jungkook brought food and you let him have the remote; quickly turned into constant interaction. You learned that he had a roommate that was hardly ever home named Taehyung. He has a brother that he visits every other month. He works as clinical technician, but he’s known more for his beautiful voice more than his title as doctor.
Apparently he was known in the lab for singing little lullabies to the glass flasks containing different samples of blood and other fluids, even occasionally chatting with them as though they were avidly listening.
The more you learned, the more you really wished your old neighbor never moved out in the first place. Especially as you slipped on some shoes to take out the trash one night only to run face first into a familiar chest.
“Jungkook,” you groan, rubbing your nose and peeking up at the boy-like grin he wears. “What was that for?“
You step around him, closing the door to your apartment and heading down the stairs to where the dumpsters were located. “My bad. I was just about to knock.”
He matches your stride, hair whipping about in the wind. You realize that he’s wearing his lab coat, making you furrow your brows. “Aren’t you supposed to leave that at the lab?” You ask, pointing to the white coat.
Jungkook pouts, looking down at his coat as though just remembering that he was still wearing it. “Oh, well I have to wash it, you know. I brought it home with me today.”
“Ok…but why are you still wearing it?” You give him a half-smile as he reaches to open the lid to the dumpster, allow you to throw your trash inside.
Jungkook blinks, as though this latest question completely threw him for a loop. “Uh…I thought it might help.”
“With what?”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You think doctors are sexy, don’t you?”
           “What?!” You choke out quite literally, beginning to cough. “Who- I never said that!”
           Jungkook grins maliciously. “Yeah, but I heard you watching Grey’s Anatomy the other day. And it was on your recently watched.”
           You begin to walk away, waving him off. “That doesn’t mean anything, Jungkook. So what? It’s just a show.”
           Running ahead of you, Jungkook bounds up the first few steps before turning around to face you again, effectively cutting off your escape route. “Be honest. You don’t find them the least bit sexy? This coat does nothing for you?” He runs his hands down the lapels for emphasis.
           You attempt to push past him. “What is even happening today?” Jungkook stops you in your tracks, hands on your upper arms and trapping you against the railing.
           “I thought I might as well give myself a chance,” he mumbles, head tilted to one side as he takes in the way you’re staring up at him with utter confusion. “Don’t you wanna go out with a doctor?”
           You blink slowly. “You…you’re setting me up with a doc-“
           “Yah!” Jungkook groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How many way do I have to say it? I want you to be the Wanda to my Vision!”            “Jungkook, we’ve talked about this…” you sigh, hiding your laugh at his impatience. “They have a toxic relationship, why would I want that?”
           “Don’t make me do this!” Jungkook whines, cheeks turning pink. “Just tell me yes or no!”
           “To what?” You ask, feigning ignorance. “I don’t even know what you’re asking.”
           “Nooo, you do,” Jungkook presses in closer as though that’ll help you understand. “I want you and I to…to…you know, I think we’d be good together.”
           You frown. “Aren’t we together right now?”
           “I swear-“ Jungkook takes a step back, sighing up at the sky. You snap your fingers, having a sudden epiphany.
           “Oh, you mean together like we start singing duets in the morning through the wall?”
           He blinks before bursting out into a fit of laughter. “I…yeah! Exactly!”
           “No. But I will let you take me out on a date.” You give him a long look. “I’ve never been kissed by a doctor before, you know.”
           Jungkook turns an impressive shade of red. “O-oh. You haven’t?”
           “Nope,” you pop the ‘p’. Turning to head up the stairs, you leave him in his shock. “Wonder what it’s like.”
           Taking off in a run, you only get about a two second head start before Jungkook overtakes you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in close, wide eyes eating up every inch of your skin.
           Tilting your chin up, he breathes out, “Well, why don’t we change that?”
masterlist
commission a request!
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criminalmindzjunkie · 4 years ago
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The Reward of Suffering
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next chapter
Summary: A retelling of the events of season 12 episode 13. 
Gif credit to the wonderful and talented @imagining-in-the-margins​
A/N: After several months of contemplation, I have finally decided to post part one of my first ever fic on Tumblr! This fic will follow the event of Spencer’s prison arc, so needless to say there will be SPOILERS. This first part is super long, but I felt that it needed to be in order to set up the plot. I hope you all enjoy reading! If you would like to be tagged on future updates, let me know!
Pairing: Spencer Reid/Fem! Reader
Warnings: no smut (yet), mentions of past frug use, cursing, typical CM case talk
Word count: 12.1k
           “Reid is in jail.”
           I felt the color immediately drain from my face and an intense feeling of dread began to wash through my body. I sat up in my chair, back ramrod straight. I briefly looked towards the faces of my teammates, Luke and JJ to my left and Penelope to my right. Their faces were all contorted, displaying varying degrees of shock and confusion. It was hard for any of us to process what we were hearing. The idea of Spencer Reid, the same Spencer who wore a mask to the office on Halloween and put on elaborate magic shows for everyone’s children, doing anything that would warrant being put behind bars was preposterous.
           Surely, this is all just a big misunderstanding.
           “Jail?” Penelope squeaked out. My eyes flitted to her, taking note of the way her eyebrows were drawn together in disbelief. She was thinking the same thing I’m sure we all were; that there was no way Spencer Reid had engaged in any illegal activity. Spencer was a well-educated, highly regarded FBI agent, for Christ sake. He knew the laws of the land better than any of us.
           “In Mexico.”
My attention focused solely on Emily. In the few weeks since I had come to know her, I had begun to look at her not only as a sort of fearless leader, but also as a kind of fiercely loyal friend that I was incredibly lucky to have. Emily somehow managed to find the perfect balance between being accommodating and stern. She was the kind of boss you could have a drink and cut up with after a long day, but she also carried herself in a way that demanded the utmost respect in the workplace. Emily Prentiss’s bravery was unmatched, and I admired her for that.
It shook me to my core when her eyes met mine and I saw the pure, unbridled fear in them. If Emily was scared, then this must be leagues worse than we could have ever imagined.
“What the hell is he doing down there?” JJ asked, crossing her arms and shuffling from one foot to the other.
“I don’t know. I didn’t talk to him. The call came in to Cruz from their lead investigator.”
Luke was the next to chime in. “What’s he being held for?”
“Drug possession,” Rossi said, before taking on, “with intent to distribute.”
For the second time that day, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Images of Spencer sitting across from me in a dimly lit coffee shop, tripping over his words as he confided in me, spilling his deepest and darkest secrets in a voice barely above a whisper. His voice had grown stronger as he neared the end of his story and he had dug deep in his satchel, producing a small golden coin. We both had tears in our eyes as we looked at the writing engraved into the coin; unity, service recovery. Spencer Reid was ten years sober, and the pride on his face was as clear as day.
There was no way he would throw all of that away.
“What type of drugs?”
“Cocaine and heroin,” Rossi said, his voice shaky.
Rossi and Spencer had always had a good relationship. Spencer had admired his work long before he met him, having read and reread every book he had ever published. It had delighted Spencer that he and Rossi had managed to develop rapport so quickly. Rossi was the only one talented enough at the game of chess to even think of giving Spencer a run for his money, though many of us had tried. In one of many hushed conversations shared on the jet, he had once told me that he had begun to think of Rossi as somewhat of a father figure; he didn’t quite fill the role in the same way Gideon had, but Spencer was thankful just the same. One look at Rossi’s troubled expression was enough to tell me that the feelings were definitely mutual.
“Oh my God. This can’t be happening.” JJ was positively crestfallen, clutching a hand against her own chest in an attempt to ground herself. Her other hand came up to her face as she absentmindedly pushed her hair away.
“We need Lewis and Walker here, ASAP,” Emily directed her order and Penelope, who was quick to comply.
Everyone sprang into action, but I found myself unable to move, weighed down by the deeply unsettling circumstance. It felt as if I was no longer in my own body, like I was watching everything unfold from an outsider’s perspective. Maybe I am, I thought. Maybe this is all just some horrible nightmare. Any second now, my alarm will go off and this will all be over.
I waited and waited for my alarm to sound, but that never happened. Instead, Emily crouched down in front of me, grasping my arm firmly in her right hand.
“I know how devastated you must be. Trust me, I do,” she sympathized, her deep brown eyes boring into my own. “But Reid’s going to need you now more than ever. You’re his best friend and you know him better than anyone. Did he ever mention to you that he was going to Mexico?”
I shook my head numbly, my motions feeling alien and stilted.
“Never. He told me the same thing he told you; that he was going to Houston for a few days to meet with his mother’s doctor,” I whispered. I feared that if I raised my voice any higher, tears would begin to fall. Maintaining my composure was becoming harder with every passing second, and I wasn’t exactly privy to breaking down in front of my boss. “I guess I don’t know him as well as I thought.”
Emily sighed, letting go of my arm before straightening up.
“Apparently, none of us did. But I know damn well that this has to be a mistake. We’ll get him out of this.”
           The apprehension in her voice told me that even she wasn’t sure we could pull this one off.
--
           “This has got to be Scratch,” Tara stated, her voice wafting through the speakers of Luke’s laptop. Emily, Rossi, Luke and I were currently in the jet, on our way to the jail where Spencer was being held. All of us were huddled close together around the computer, listening on with eager ears. “He was laying low, and now we know why.”
           “Crossing the border as a fugitive is a huge risk,” Luke pointed out.
           “The reward is even greater. He’s been punishing the team, and now his target is Reid.” Emily’s voice was full of frustration and contempt.
           “Peter Lewis dropped off the map after attacking Tara’s family,” Stephen chimed in. Not even his deep baritone voice could do anything to calm my frazzled nerves. “Maybe he’s been hiding in Mexico this whole time.”
           “We also have to consider that it isn’t related to him,” I murmured. Several pairs of eyes locked on me, shocked. I had been uncharacteristically quiet since this whole ordeal began, limiting my responses to one word replies and hums of acknowledgement. On a normal day, I’d be throwing in my two cents any time I saw fit. Today, I was struggling just to keep breathing.
           “Who else would it be?” Rossi asked.
           “Drug cartels. Could’ve threatened Reid and used him as a mule.” Saying his name was painful, because it reminded me that we weren’t just talking about a victim with whom we had no personal ties; we were talking about our colleague and beloved friend.
           “Agreed,” Rossi nodded. “This could simply be a case of bad luck. Reid was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
           “Spencer’s mom is okay.” JJ’s announcement was like music to my ears. I let out an audible sigh of relief. “The home nurse he hired said all is stable.”
           “How long did he tell the nurse he’d be gone?”
           “Three days.”
           “That sounds reasonable. After the Palm Springs case, Reid said he had to get back to Houston to talk to his mom’s doctor,” Emily interjected. I nodded along in agreement. He’d told me the same thing when I talked to him the night before last.
The fatigue in his voice had alerted me to the fact that things hadn’t been going so well with his mother. Her condition had been rapidly deteriorating in the recent months, prompting Spencer to make the tough decision to remove her from the assisted living facility she was at and into his own apartment. His main argument had been that no one could possibly take better care of his mother that him; that he was familiar with her condition and how best to respond when she had an episode. When I had asked him how he was handling it all, he was quick to reassure me that it was not anything he couldn’t handle.
Spencer’s loyalty ran deep; so deep that I knew he would do anything in his power to take care of Diana, but I’d never imagined that it would land him in fucking jail.
“Well, Houston is only a five-hour drive from the border,” Tara mused. “The question is, why did he go down there?”
“And why does he have narcotics?” Rossi was the first to speak on what was at the forefront of everyone’s mind.
“Yeah, exactly. He wouldn’t… He wouldn’t do that. Those drugs were planted on him,” Penelope insisted.
“Absolutely, but there’s something bigger in play. That’s why he crossed the border and kept it a secret. There’s something he didn’t want to share with any of you.”
I cringed at Stephen’s choice of wording. Spencer and I were as close as two people could be, and there was nothing I withheld from him. He knew everything about me, every dark and embarrassing thought that had ever crossed my mind; yet, he accepted me just the same. I had always assumed that it went both ways, that he was just as honest and forthcoming with me as I was with him. It hurt to know that there were things he kept from me, secrets that he felt he couldn’t trust me with.
But most of all, it absolutely gutted me to think that he was dealing with something so horrible that it landed him in jail, and he that he had to do it all alone.
“Okay, so what would make him risk everything?” Emily pondered aloud.
“His mom.” My answer was instantaneous.
A ping sounded from the other end of the video call, and we all leaning in, our interest piqued.
“Cruz just sent me the arresting report,” Penelope announced, clicking away at her computer before continuing. “It says here that Reid was involved in a high-speed chase.”
“What?” I choked out, my voice coming out several pitches higher than usual. “Spencer hardly ever drives.” I could feel my stomach begin to churn, bile threatening to force its way up my esophagus. This isn’t right, I wanted to scream. Our Spencer would never get himself involved in something that would put himself or others at risk.
“None of this sounds like him,” Penelope whispered, her thoughts mimicking my own. “It says he was wearing jeans and a baseball cap and that he was really confused. According to the arresting officer, he was really high on something.”
Unity, service, respect; ten years sober. All down the fucking drain.
I shot up from my seat, bolting down the walkway and into the bathroom. I immediately fell to my knees, barely managing to push my hair out of the way before retching into the toilet bowl. I continued like this for several minutes, only pausing momentarily when I felt large, soothing hands running up and down my back. Soft murmurings of reassurance alerted me to the fact that it was Luke who was sitting with me. I let out a strained ‘thank you’ before another wave of nausea hit me, rendering me speechless. Luke held my hair back, never once leaving my side.
When I had thrown up the entirety of my breakfast and all I could do was dry heave, I slumped back against the wall, relishing in how cool it felt against my flushed skin. A stretch of silence passed before he decided to break it.
“That was an extreme reaction,” Luke pointed out, still sitting in the floor with his legs crisscrossed. I noticed how closely he was watching me, his eyes focused on reading my expressions. He was profiling me, that much was obvious. It was an unspoken rule between us all that we would never profile one another, but any fight I had left in me had long since dissipated.
“He worked so hard to get clean, Luke. I wasn’t around when it happened, but he told me about it. He was so proud of himself,” I whispered. My throat was now raw and my voice came out more than a little bit hoarse.
Luke’s eyebrows came together, confusion clear on his face.
“Get clean? What are you talking about?”
I let out a shuddery breath. It felt wrong to divulge information on Spencer’s personal life; like I was betraying his trust. Given the circumstance, I supposed he wouldn’t mind, but it still felt treacherous and left a bad taste in my mouth. Sorry, Spence.
“Ten years ago, Reid was kidnapped by an unsub with DID. He kept him in a remote cabin for several days, alternating between beating him senseless and shooting him full of so much hydromorphone that he couldn’t remember his own name. At one point, he even,” I trailed off, hot tears spilling out of my eyes and running down my cheeks. Luke took my hand in his in an act of reassurance, his way of telling me not to rush. Luke hadn’t been with us for long, and our interactions thus far hadn’t gone much farther than conversations about work. Seeing the way he was offering himself up to me as a confidant and shoulder to cry on made me feel guilty for ever having written him off.
Thank God for Luke Alvez.
After a long pause, I managed to continue. “Spencer ended up having a seizure and he died for several minutes. The unsub’s more benevolent personality, Tobias, was able to resuscitate him. Eventually Spencer was able to take him down, but the trauma mixed with the exposure to such a highly addictive drug led to him developing a dependence on it.”
Luke swore and ran a hand through his hair.
“I never would’ve guessed it. The kid carries himself so well.”
A small, fond smile tugged at the corner of my lips.
“He’s amazing, really. He detoxed all by himself and started going to NA meetings. This past October marked ten years. We celebrated by going to one of those really fancy museums he likes and he insisted on taking the guided tour so that he could see how many errors the guide would make,” I let out a light laugh at the memory. “Every time they’d get something wrong, he’d lean down whisper the correct information so that only I could hear it. I don’t think I’d ever seen him that happy,” I reminisced, allowing myself to forget about the current situation for the tiniest of moments. I wondered if I’d ever get to experience a day like that with Spencer ever again.
“You two are close, I take it?”
I nodded. Luke had fit in with the group so seamlessly that I had forgotten that he had only been with us for a short time. He didn’t really know the dynamics of everything yet.
“He’s my best friend.”
Luke hummed, and I could feel his eyes looking at me inquisitively.
“And that boyfriend of yours, he doesn’t mind?” Okay, maybe Luke was a little bit more perceptive than he let on.
Gavin and I had begun dating at the end of my first year with the BAU. He and I had meet in the most cliché of ways; bumping into each other in the cereal aisle at the grocery store. Gavin was more than a little bit handsome, but what had reeled me in had been the way he taken one look at the box of cereal in my cart and immediately scrunched his nose up in disgust.
“Plain Cheerios? Are you some sort of masochist, or something?” he had asked, a playful lilt to his voice. Normally, if a strange man had approached me in public, I would’ve been quick to express my disinterest. If my job had taught me anything, it was that a woman being approached by a strange man was a recipe for trouble. But something about him seemed wholly unthreatening, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his forwardness, raising an eyebrow at him.
“As if your choice is any better. Lucky Charms? What are you, six?”
“Don’t even go there. Lucky Charms are magically delicious, thank you very much,” he sniffed, feigning superiority. “And if we’re touching on the subject of age, the only person I know that eats plain Cheerios is my eighty-six-year-old grandmother. You look a bit young to be worrying about heart health, and I refuse to believe that you actually enjoy the taste, so what gives?”
“First of all, I find it concerning that you are so familiar with cereal slogans,” I breezed, leaning against my shopping cart. “Second, I am curious; do you make it a habit to harass people about their cereal preferences?”
“Only if they’re cute.”
And that had been that. Several dates later he had asked me to be his girlfriend over a dinner he had attempted to make himself. I said yes and he kissed me, nearly knocking over his plate of burnt chicken parmesan in the process.
“We, uh, have an understanding. He knows that Spencer and I are just good friends.”
Gavin and I did have an understanding, but it wasn’t a very solid one. In fact, I was sure that he damn near despised Spencer’s very existence. He had done a good job at hiding it for a while, but after coming home one night from an impromptu movie night with Spencer, he had revealed to me that he had a jealous streak a mile long. I reassured him that there was absolutely nothing that he needed to worry about, but I could tell he didn’t believe a word of it. Gavin had out flat demanded that I cut all ties with Spencer, and I had laughed in his face.
“I’m not the kind of girl that likes to be told what to do. Either you learn to live with him being a part of my life, or you can find someone else to boss around, because I can tell you right now, that won’t fly with me.”
My threat had proven to be effective, and he had apologized, and that had been the end of that. He still wasn’t fond of the idea that Spencer and I were such close friends, but he hadn’t tried to proposition me with any more ridiculous ultimatums.
“That’s good to hear,” Luke hummed, squeezing my hand before rising to his feet. I could tell that he didn’t necessarily buy into what I was saying, but I was thankful that he didn’t press it any further. “What do you say we go back out there. We’ve got to be getting close by now.”
I nodded and he helped me to my feet. I bent down to the faucet, swishing some water in my mouth before spitting it out.
When Luke and I returned to our seats, I was immediately aware of the way Rossi and Emily were eyeing me; like I was a delicate thing that needed to be handled with kid gloves.
I absolutely hated it.
“Sorry about that. It won’t happen again,” I said, before turning my attention back to the video call and saying, “so, what did we miss?”
--
The police station was surprisingly small. The hallways were narrow and the light bulbs above me gave off an almost green tint, casting an eerie glow on the place. The sounds of disgruntled detainees calling out drifted through the hallways, sounding akin to the moaning of a ghost. My eyes darted around constantly as we walked, the uneasy feeling in my stomach growing with every step we took towards the heart of the precinct.
“Thank you for calling us.” Emily’s words were directed at the police officer, Chief Castenada, who was leading us down the hall. He was a short man with graying hair and a seemingly permanent frown etched into his face. It didn’t take a genius to deduce that he wasn’t happy that four federal agents were in his jail.
“A U.S. fed in our custody isn’t something we see every day,” the man said, his tone entirely unfriendly. I grimaced.
“Have you gotten any of his tox screen panels back yet?” I prodded, quickening the pace of my strides until I was walking alongside him. He looked down at me like I was a pesky gnat that he wanted to bat away.
“No.”
Color me unsurprised.
“You’ll need to expedite that. We have cause to believe that Doctor Reid was drugged.”
“He was definitely high and driving like a bat out of Hell. Not to mention he had $20,000 worth of heroin in his possession,” he sneered, ceasing to walk and staring down at me with distaste. “Both of which put my officers at risk. You’re in our jurisdiction. Don’t forget that. The rules are different here.”
I opened my mouth, ready to fire back with some smart-assery of my own, but a hand at my elbow stopped me. I turned and saw that it was Luke, who nodded his head to the left of us. I looked in the direction he was referring to, and I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.
Just up ahead was a holding cell with several poorly constructed benches in the center of it. On the very first row of seats sat Spencer, who had seemingly retreated in to himself. He was hunched over, his arms wrapped pitifully around himself, much like you’d imagine a child might do to keep warm. Spencer’s clothes were tattered and dirty and a bandage adorned his right hand. His usually beautiful chestnut curls were flying around his head in a mess of tangles and dirt. Despite the fact that Spencer towered over most of us, I couldn’t help but notice how incredibly small he looked.
Even as awful as he looked in his current state, a direct contradiction of the way he usually presented himself, I’d never been happier to lay my eyes on someone in my life.
My feet carried me forward before my brain had time to catch up. I closed the distance between me and the cell, pausing and taking a good, long look at him before allowing myself to speak. He hadn’t noticed me standing there yet. His gaze was instead trained on something at the other end of the room, his eyes red rimmed and glassy and his face completely slack.
“Spence?” I called out, the nickname falling from my lips like a prayer. In a way I suppose it was; a prayer that he was alright, that the horrible things Penelope had told us about were nothing but a horrible lie. At first, I was worried that he hadn’t heard me or that he was too out of his mind to even register the sound of my voice. Just when I opened my mouth to speak again, he turned his head in way that I would have described as comically slow if the situation hadn’t been so serious. The spacey look in his eyes told me that my prayers wouldn’t be answered.
Spencer’s eyes locked with mine, but his face remained completely blank, devoid of all expression. I stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, until it hit me like a ton of bricks; he had no clue who I was.
I wanted to be mad. I wanted to scream at him, to ask him how could he forget me, of all people. My anger was irrational and unfair, but I couldn’t help it. While I understood that it was no fault of his own, that the drugs coursing through his veins were to blame, it didn’t make it hurt any less.
I swallowed down the emotions that threatened to spill out, pushing them down into the depths of my being. I couldn’t let my emotional attachment hinder my judgment. I needed to be as vigilant as ever, no, more vigilant. The fate of my favorite person in the whole world depended on it.
“It’s me, Y/N,” I explained, keeping my voice as steady as I could manage. “It’s good to see you, Spencer. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”
He watched me for a moment before standing and making his way to where I was leaning against the bars.
“Y/N,” Spencer murmured when he reached me, as if testing my name out to see how it rolled off of his tongue. His stare was still vacant, but having him in front of me after worrying about his wellbeing for the last five hours was more than enough for now. I’d take him however I could have him. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course, we came,” I murmured, my eyes raking over every inch of his body for any signs of distress. Other than the bandage on his hand, he seemed to be in one piece.
Rossi was quick to join me, coming to a stop at my left.
“We’re going to get you out of here, kid,” he reassured, his tone more serious than I’d ever heard it.
           “We need to work out some details with the locals, okay?” Emily said, waiting for a response but getting none.
           “Who was your contact down here?” Luke asked.
           Spencer was quicker to respond this time.
           “Rosa,” he mumbled as he grabbed his shirt sleeve and pulled it up. On his inner arm, the name Rosa Medina was written in what was undoubtably his own handwriting. Spencer was notorious around the office for having the worst handwriting. I like to blame it on the fact that he was a doctor, which always elicited a laugh from him. “I think she’s a doctor.”
           Luke pulled his phone out from his pocket, snapping a picture of the name.
           “Where did you meet her?”
           Spencer shook his head and a frown pulled down at the corner of his lips.
           “I… I don’t remember.”
           “If you saw her, would you remember her?”
           Spencer nodded in affirmation.
           “You’re missing time, aren’t you?” I asked, causing him to look at me once more. His brows furrowed together and he was nodding again, slightly surer of himself this time.
           “It’s peeking out. It’s coming in flashes.”
           “And you’ve been drugged?”
           I didn’t know it was possible for his face to fall any more, but the look of shame that manifested itself when he registered my words was absolutely heartbreaking.
           “Yeah, but I didn’t take it myself,” he insisted, a spark of life burning bright in the depths of his eyes. Somewhere in there, under the haze of narcotics, was the same Spencer that had fought tooth and nail for his sobriety all those years ago. My heart broke for him.
           “Of course, you didn’t, Spence. We know that,” I said, almost reaching out to touch him before thinking better of it. “We’re thinking it might be Scratch.”
           Just like before, when I had first spoken to him, absolutely no sign of recognition showed itself on his face.
           “Scratch,” he muttered detachedly, much the same as before.
           Luke’s phone rang then and he excused himself for a moment before stepping away. I looked to Rossi and Emily, who seemed to also be at a loss for words. The silence that filled the room was excruciating, and I once again started to feel like the walls were closing in on me. I wanted nothing more than to scream, to cry out in frustration. The whole situation was unfair in a way that I didn’t think was possible. I was a big believer in karma; put good in and get good out, or something like that. But now, standing outside of a holding cell that looked more like a dungeon than anything, I was ready to throw away that belief entirely.
Of all the people that I know, Spencer was the least deserving of something like this.
           Just when I began to consider ducking outside for a breath of fresh air, Luke returned.
           “Hey, the team sent this. Is this the doctor you met?” he asked, pointing to a picture of a woman he had pulled up on his phone. The woman was of Mexican descent, with short, choppy gray hair. She appeared to be middle aged, from what I could guess.
           Spencer stared at the picture before nodding.
           “Her alias is Rosa Medina and her real name is Nadi Ramos. Garcia tracked her to a motel just outside of town. Does that sound familiar?”
           Spencer’s brows furrowed and his shoulders slumped in defeat.
           “No.”
           “Okay, we’ll need to take Castenada and his officers with us,” Emily announced, before turning and heading towards the door.
           “Do you want company here?” Rossi asked.
           Spencer seemed to take a moment to process before answering with an almost imperceptible nod. He turned his head and focused his gaze on me.
           “Can… Can you stay?”
           Rossi turned to face me too, raising an eyebrow as if to say ‘are you okay with this?’ I gave him what I hoped was a convincing smile. Honestly, I wasn’t entirely sure that I could handle this; the this that I am referring to being a nearly catatonic Spencer Reid. I was used to the Spencer who regaled me with interesting tidbits of information whenever there was a lull in conversation. The Spencer that stood before me now was a shell of his former self, and that terrified me.
           “I’ll be fine here. Let me know if you guys find anything,” I told Rossi. He nodded once to me before enveloping me in a tight hug.
           “Resta forte mia piccolo colomba,” Rossi murmured in my ear. I hadn’t a clue what the phrase meant, but the words draped over me like a warm blanket. Suddenly the weight of the current situation didn’t seem so heavy, and I felt immensely thankful that a man like David Rossi was in my life.
           Rossi pressed his lips to the top of my head before releasing me. He gave one last, despairing look to Spencer before hurrying off after Luke and Emily. It could’ve been the light playing tricks on me, or maybe the exhaustion, but when Rossi turned away from us, I swear I saw tears welling in his eyes.
           And then there were two.
           I took glance at my watch for the first time all day, cringing when I saw the time to be 8:17PM. Quantico was an hour ahead, meaning Gavin was probably losing his shit wondering where I was. I sighed, fishing my phone out of my back pocket and turning it on.
           “Spence, I’m going to make a phone call really quick,” I murmured. He offered no reply, just as I had come to expect. He was watching me, standing stock still in the same place he had been the entire time. I moved to stand in the doorway, hopefully far enough away that he couldn’t hear me anymore.
           As soon as my phone booted up, a plethora of notifications came through. Seventeen missed calls and twenty-four unread text messages, to be exact. I decided to forgo reading the messages, instead pressing the return call button and tapping my foot anxiously against the floor. Gavin didn’t keep me waiting long, picking up on the very first ring.
           “About time you answer your goddamn phone,” he hissed out. “Do you know how worried I’ve been? I even called your office phone and no one would answer that, either. What the fuck is going on? Where are you?”
           “I’m… In Mexico.”
           A long pause followed and I held my breath, waiting for the onslaught to begin.
           “You left the country without even bothering to tell me?” Gavin asked, his voice raising in volume. I could picture him now; probably sitting on our sofa, fists balled together and jaw clenched. “Would you like to enlighten me as to why you’re in Mexico?”
           I closed my eyes, frustration bubbling deep inside me. Today was arguably the shittiest day of my entire life, and I certainly didn’t need Gavin harping on about how I hadn’t been in touch. Honestly, informing him of my whereabouts had been the furthest thing from my mind.
           “It’s Spencer,” I began, trying to think of the proper way to word it all. “He got into some… trouble. We think he’s being framed by Scratch.”
           “Isn’t that the guy that just went after Tara’s family?”
           “Yeah, it is. He’s been laying low for the past few months, and I guess he was just building up to all of this. It’s really bad, Gav,” I whispered the last bit, hoping that Spencer couldn’t hear me. If he did, he made no move that indicated it. “He’s high out of his mind and can’t remember anything.”
           “How long will you guys be there?” Gavin asked, completely ignoring the fact that I mentioned Spencer at all. I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from saying something I might regret. I understand that he doesn’t like the guy, but he could show some common decency and at least pretend.
           “I’m not entirely sure. Rossi, Emily, and Luke just headed out to go check on a lead. I don’t know how long that’ll take.”
           “Wait, so, where are you?”
           “I’m at the jail with Spencer, why?” I inquired, running my hand through my hair and absentmindedly combing out the knots that had formed. I was sure that I looked a right mess, but I couldn’t be too bothered to care.
           “Let me get this straight. They left you alone with a guy who is wasted on God knows what, not knowing how he’ll react to it?” A bitter laugh flowed through the phone speaker. “Sounds like you don’t exactly work with the smartest bunch. What if he tries to attack you or something?”
           I let his words hang in the air for a moment, unable to formulate a reply that wasn’t something like you’re being an absolute fucking dick bag right now. No, I was a grown woman and I was going to communicate like one, despite the fact that his ignorant reply was making me shake with rage.
           “The first thing I’m going to address is the fact that this is not some guy. We’re talking about my best friend and teammate, and his name is Spencer. Use it,” I said through gritted teeth. “The second thing is that he’s not some wild animal. He’s not going to try to come through the bars and pounce on me. What he’s going through right now is traumatic, and he doesn’t need to be left alone right now. Show some compassion.”
           “Yeah, okay, I’m sorry,” Gavin muttered. It was the most unapologetic apology I’d ever heard in my life, prompting me to roll my eyes. I don’t understand how I can love someone and want to throttle them simultaneously. “I’m just worried about you, is all. How are you holding up?”
           “I’m as good as can be expected,” I sighed, bringing my free hand up to rub at my eyes. “I’m just tired of watching this guy terrorize all of my friends. First, he takes Hotch from us, then he nearly kills Tara’s brother, and now this. I’m beginning to think we’ll never catch a break.”
           “I know you’re tired, baby. Just try to hang on a little bit longer. As much as I question some of their decisions, your team is good at what they do. You guys will catch him. I have faith in you.”
           There it is. That’s the Gavin that I fell in love with.
           “Thank you,” I murmured. “It’s been a long day and I needed to hear that.” I cast a glance back at Spencer, who was now staring down at his bandaged hand, an indiscernible expression on his face. He looked so lost, standing all alone in the grimy holding cell. The lights cast shadows on his face, making his already angular face look gaunt. The Spencer I knew was the human embodiment of light; filling up every room he was in with his delightfully idiosyncratic presence. The Spencer in the cell was so shrouded in darkness that the room seemed to be swallowing him whole, taking his brilliance and crushing it into smithereens.
“Gav, I think I need to get back in there.”
           “Yeah, alright. Just keep me in the loop this time, please. I don’t like not knowing where my girlfriend is.”
           “I’ll make sure to check in whenever I can,” I promised, before tacking on a, “love you.”
           “Love you, too.”
           I pocketed my phone with hands that shook, no longer from rage but from apprehension. I liked to think that I was good at my job. I had done well at the academy; not well enough to have graduated at the top of my class, but I did manage to be in the top ten. After lucking into the job of a lifetime, I had fully committed myself to learning to be the best profiler I could possibly be. Two years of piecing together the innerworkings of criminal minds had taught me more than I ever could have imagined about the human psyche. I had talked many a deranged psychopath down from the ledge, and I had saved more than a few lives along the way. Unfortunately, not all cases can end favorably. Those are the ones that taught me the most.
           For all that I learned, nothing could’ve prepared me to deal with the shell of a man that stood before me.
           I was standing in front of him now, fiddling nervously with my hands. When Spencer had originally told me about his battle with addiction, I had taken it upon myself to do some research of my own. I wanted to be able to identify the signs, God forbid he ever relapse. While conducting my research, I had read somewhere that the best way to support someone during a come down is by remaining positive and creating a calm, safe environment.
           I was currently the antithesis of calm, but for Spencer’s sake, I was going to do my best.
           I took a step forward and offered him a small smile.
           “I’ve never seen you in jeans and boots before,” I said. I was proud of myself when the words came out sounding relatively casual. “It’s a good look on you, but I have to admit I prefer the academic look. I suppose it’s the sapiosexual in me.”
           He gave no response, but the tinniest tug at the corner of his mouth told me that he found my comment amusing.
           I let my eyes drag over him again and I fixated on the bandage on his right hand, frowning.
           “Do you remember what happened to your hand?”
           Spencer raised his hand up, absentmindedly flipping it over and inspecting it.
           “I don’t know,” he murmured. Spencer’s usually high pitched voice came out gravely, no doubt a byproduct of dehydration related to the drugs. My eyes skimmed across the holding cell and I frowned when I saw no water fountain in sight.
           “M’ gonna go get you some water, okay?” I turned away and pivoted on my heel, taking one step before a hand wrapped around my upper arm. I spun around so fast I nearly caught whiplash.
           Spencer’s eyes were wide and full of panic, conveying more emotion than he’d had since we’d arrived. His eyebrows were drawn together as well, contorting his face into a pitiful expression.
           “Don’t go,” he rasped, his hand still firmly grasping my arm. “Please.”
           The hopelessness in his voice was like a dagger through my heart. I nodded fervently and placed my hand over his, prompting him to loosen his grip. He did, and I took his hand in both of mine. I rubbed my thumbs over his skin, haphazardly tracing patterns in an attempt to calm him.
           “Yeah, okay. I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” I soothed, bringing his hand up to my mouth and placing a chaste kiss to the skin. “I’ve got you, Spence. It’s all going to be okay.”
           The look of panic slowly washed away the longer we stood there. He held onto my hands like I was a lifeline, the only thing tethering him to the ground. While I longed for nothing more than to really embrace him, to pull all of him into my arms and hold on for dear life, the bars that separated us inhibited me from doing so. So instead I just relished in the feel of his hand intertwined with my own.
           It would have to be enough for now.
--
           Nadi Ramos was dead.
           I didn’t have to ask Emily to know that the situation had gone from bad to absolutely fucking terrible. We knew Scratch was a horrendous individual; that much had been proved by his preferred modus operandi. We also knew that he had become fixated on taking down each of us one by one. He’d tried twice with Hotch, even going as far as to target his son, resulting in the two of them joining WITSEC for their own safety. The next blow had come when he had set his sights on Tara, or, more specifically, her brother. We’d gotten lucky with that one, having located and freed her brother just in the nick of time. After the incident with Tara’s brother, we all expected the next attack to come in quick succession. When several months passed with no sign of Scratch, we all became terribly on edge. No one was saying it, but we all were waiting to see which one of us would be next, crossing our fingers and hoping it wouldn’t be us.
           I knew that none of us were exempt from Scratch’s wrath, but for some reason, I’d never imagined him targeting Spencer.
           And target him he fucking did.
           “We know you didn’t do this,” Emily spoke for the group, knowing good and well that we were all on the same page.
           “How did it happen?” Spencer’s back was to us. His shoulders were slumped and his face downturned.
           “She was stabbed multiple times. It looked personal,” Luke answered, his voice low and careful. It was obvious to us all that he was being extra careful with his wording, making sure to broach the subject carefully. We all knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Spencer was innocent; but that didn’t mean that Spencer did.
           Chief Castenada trudged into the holding cell, the portrait of all things cranky and unpleasant. His presence acted as a proverbial storm cloud on an already shitty day.
           “We got the results of your blood work. There’s cocaine and heroin in your system.”
           “What else?” Emily asked, causing Castenada to give her a confused look.
           “He was in possession of cocaine and heroin when he was arrested. I found what I needed.”
           I felt myself bristle and before I knew it, my mouth was open and I was spouting out pure venom.
           “Thanks so much for doing the bare minimum, but we’re going to need a full tox screen panel. We’re looking for scopolamine.”
           Emily’s eyes cut over to me and if I hadn’t been fighting on Spencer’s behalf, I would’ve withered under the weight of the shut the fuck up look she gave me. Instead, I continued on, silently praying I’d still have a job after today.
           “It’ll take longer, but we need it,” I explained in what I hoped was a slightly more accommodating tone. Castenada gave a curt nod in reply before exiting the room, grumbling something in Spanish that had Luke and Emily shooting daggers at his retreating figure.
           “Do I want to know?”
           Luke shook his head, shooting a small smile in my direction.
           “Let’s just say he’s not your biggest fan, and we’ll leave it at that,” he offered, before straightening out his expression and turning back to Spencer. “You were given a speed ball. The opiates block the dopamine in your brain. That’s why things go from clear to hazy. The combination of the drugs causes a dissociative state and explains the memory loss. Are you coming down now?”
           “I think so,” Spencer said. His cadence wasn’t as slow as it had been earlier, which was a relief.
           “Do you think you could do a cognitive interview?” Emily’s voice was hopeful, and if Spencer was one thing, it was a people pleaser. It was obvious that he was overwhelmed; I had taken note of the fact that he was displaying one of his nervous ticks. Spencer was touching the pad of his thumb on the tips of his other fingers in rapid succession. Despite his obvious discomfort, he nodded his head in agreeance.
           “I’ll try.”
           Rossi took the lull in conversation as an opportunity to hold up the plastic bag in his hand. I narrowed my eyes at it inquisitively. There were five vials of a murky, dark brown liquid in the bag.
           “There were five of these in your bag at the motel. Do you recognize them?”
           Spencer’s eyes zeroed in on the bag and its contents, his brows furrowing. It wasn’t long until a look of partial recognition flashed across his face. It was so faint that if he hadn’t been in a room of profilers, it would’ve gone unnoticed.
           “What is it?” I asked from my place at his side. He’d been somewhat clingy since the incident that had transpired while everyone was at the motel, gravitating towards me as soon as we all had been granted entrance to the holding cell. I knew that he needed familiarity right now; he was in a very vulnerable state and he needed something that made him feel safe and secure.
           Butterflies erupted in my stomach when I had realized what he was doing, that I was that thing that made him feel safe and secure.
Spencer opened his mouth once before closing it, as if trying to put his thoughts into words was difficult. He did this a few more times before settling on,
“Whatever’s in those vials, I was giving it to my mom,” he said, his eyes darting around the room as he spoke. “That’s the only thing I’m sure of.”
           “I’ll have them run it through the lab,” Rossi said, before leaving and heading towards the direction in which Castenada had retreated.
           Emily and Luke were quick to hop into a rushed conversation, leaving only Spencer and I still in the cell. I looked up at him, at the way his forehead creased as he bit his lip in quiet contemplation.
           “Are you sure you’re ready for a cognitive? I know the effects may be wearing off, but you’re gonna be cloudy for a while. If you don’t want to do it now, all you have to do is say the word,” I murmured, keeping my voice low so that only he could hear it. “I can tell that you’re a bit overwhelmed, and that’s okay.”
           Spencer’s response came in the form of a shrug of his shoulders.
           “I want to try, because I know it’s important. I just don’t know that it will be of much help,” he replied, casting his eyes down to me.
           “Yes, it is important, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We’ll figure this out even if you can’t remember it all right now.”
           Spencer nodded once before running his tongue across his chapped bottom lip.
           “I don’t remember what happened, but I know I didn’t kill her,” he whispered, barely audible. Even though his words were quiet, I could hear the desperation in them; almost as if he was begging me to believe them, begging himself to believe them.
           I made the irrational decision then to throw professionalism aside and wrap both of my arms around his torso, my grip tight and assured. Spencer’s aversion to touch was common knowledge amongst us all, but for some reason that never seemed to apply to me, and I could see in his eyes that the way we were all treating him like he was fragile was wounding him more than he would ever admit. I hoped to remedy that with my embrace, and the speed in which he reciprocated was so fast that I was certain he was thankful. He wrapped his injured hand around my waist, the other finding purchase in my hair. I felt his chest move as he let out a shuddering breath.
           “I know you didn’t, Spence. Everyone on the team knows you didn’t,” I reassured him, my words muffled as my face was pressed against his chest. “And we’re not going to stop until everyone else knows it, too.”
           I was well aware that our embrace had garnered the attention of our teammates, but Spencer’s hold on me hadn’t faltered in the slightest, so I didn’t let mine either. Instead, I gripped the fabric of his flannel shirt tighter in my hands.
--
           When Emily exited the room in which they had conducted the cognitive interview, the look on her face was grim. I visibly cringed at the sight as I felt the sliver of hope that I had left die a miserable death.
           We are so beyond fucked.
           “How’s he doing?” Rossi asked, obviously taking note of the distress on Emily’s face.
           “He’s made some breakthroughs, but I’m not sure how helpful they’ll be,” she sighed, running a hand through her jet-black hair. When none of us spoke, Emily’s eyes flitted around, finally noticing that our expressions were a direct reflection of her own. “What is it?”
           “They just charged Reid with the murder of Nadi Ramos.”
           Hearing it said aloud wasn’t any easier the second time.
--
           While the rest of us had taken it upon ourselves to lean against the cement walls, Luke had begun pacing down the short hallway. After about ten minutes of unbearable silence, he decided he’d had enough.
           “We can’t get him out of here, can we?” he finally spoke, his voice a mix of anger and desperation.
           “I don’t know how.”
           “He didn’t kill her,” I reiterated, speaking more to myself than the three of them.
           “If all I had to go on was the evidence, I would swear he did,” Rossi sighed. I knew he was right; Spencer’s personal belongings were all over the hotel room, which was about as incriminating as you could get. “But knowing Reid, hearing the cognitive…”
           “Yes, he said there was another person in that motel room, but,” Emily pressed play on the audio recording, and her voice proceeded to flow through the speakers.
           “Who has the knife? Who is stabbing Rosa?”
           “I don’t know. It’s in my hand.”
           Emily pressed the power button and the screen went black.
           “Right now, this is just more evidence against him.”
           “So, what do we do now? Do we just sit and twiddle our thumbs until the consulate agrees to the extradition?” I asked. “There’s got to be more we can do. We can’t let them take him to jail, he won’t survive in there.”
           “I called in some help from IRT. Clara Seger and Matt Simmons will be arriving at any moment,” Emily said, checking her phone after hearing it ping. “In fact, that would be them. They’re here.”
           I breathed a sigh of relief as we all fell into step beside Emily. Having people from other areas of expertise that are willing to help is a good thing. Maybe they’ll be able to see something that we didn’t.
--
           “We come bearing good news,” I announced, leading the group as we all entered the holding cell. Spencer was quick to turn around and the corners of his lips pulled upwards as he set his sights on all of us. “Back up is here.”
           “Hey Spencer,” Matt greeted, offering up a small smile before crossing his arms across his chest.
           “Hey,” Spencer replied, moving to stand up from his spot on the bench. He was still a little wobbly on his feet, but he was doing much better than he was when we had arrived. “Thank you for coming.”
           “Yeah, of course. Jack and me are finishing up a case in Costa Rica, so we hopped on a commercial plane to get here,” Clara explained.
           “We’re trying to stop you transfer to El Diablo.”
           Spencer’s eyes darted over to me and he swallowed hard before speaking.
           “Do you think it’s possible?” Hearing the hope in his voice tugged at my heart strings. The way that he could manage to stay optimistic at time like this was a true testament to his character.
           “Yes,” Clara began. “Lab reports on the vials came back and some of what was in there hasn’t been approved by the FDA, but there aren’t any illegal substances.”
           “That’s great news,” I sighed, letting out the breath that I didn’t know I had been holding.
           “Is there anything else you remember about your time here?”
           “I remember what happened to the vials at home. My mom threw most of them out.”
           “So, that’s why you were here. To get more,” Clara said in an attempt to clarify.
           “It must be,” Spencer murmured, shuffling anxiously from one foot to the other.
           “Well, you’re off the hook for that. There’s no contraband involved,” Matt announced. Okay, this is good. One less thing to worry about.
           “Yeah, but we’re still looking at the planted drug and the murder charges, which could keep you here for a long time.”
           “Can we do anything to delay the transfer?” I wondered aloud. Clara took into account what I said and sighed, before turning towards Spencer once again.
           “You said that you met Nadi, who calls herself Rosa, in Houston. Why didn’t she just give you the vials in the U.S.?”
           “I don’t know,” Spencer said, running his uninjured hand through his hair. “I don’t know, but she helped us and I trusted her. I was right to. I still believe that.”
           “Well, she convinced you to cross the border multiple times. She had you risk your life,” Matt argued.
           “Because she must have something to lose, too,” I mumbled, eliciting a series of fervent nods from Clara. “Family, maybe?”
           “We need to know more about her,” Clara said.
           And then, something glorious happened. It was like a switch had flipped inside of Spencer’s head, and all of the sudden the lights were back on. I could tell that he had been struck with an idea, and it was a wonderous sight to behold.
           “What was in those vials?” Spencer asked, only solidifying my observation.
           Matt produced a paper with the lab results and began reading off the results.
           “There are so nootropic compounds like Ampalex, uh, but also some more natural stuff; coral calcium, jimson weed, coconut oil, a variety of vitamins. B12, D3-”
           “Where are we right now?” Spencer interjected.
           “Matamoros, Northern Mexico.”
           “Jimson weed, otherwise known as the Devil’s Snare, originated in Mexico but its natural growing region is further north or south of the border,” Spencer said, his words flowing out rapidly. I felt my heart soar and I didn’t even try to suppress the smile that fought its way to my face.
           “Boy Genius is back,” I announced, and for just a moment, the mood in the room lightened for the first time all day.
           “So, if it isn’t from here, then were did she get it?” Clara asked.
           “Let me get Garcia on,” Emily murmured, dialing the number and tapping her foot as it rang. On the third ring, Penelope’s bright and cheerful voice filled the room, a sunbeam shining through on a cloudy day.
           “Please tell me you’re calling to tell me some good news.”
           “Garcia, I have some questions for you.”
           “Hey, Penelope,” Matt greeted, earning a pleasantly surprised gasp from the woman on the other end.
           “Oh my God, it’s the dulcet tones of Matt Simmons,” Penelope gushed. “Are you there to save the day?”
           “I’m trying. Clara’s here, too.” A relieved sigh floated through the speakers.
           “Knowing we have you guys as backup is providing me some much-needed hope, and I work better this way.”
           “Hey, lady,” Clara greeted. “We’re trying to catch up on a few things. Where is Nadi Ramos from?” Before Clara even managed to finish her sentence, the sound of Garcia’s acrylic nails tapping away at her keyboard could be heard.
           “Mm she lives with her family just north of Matamoros.”
           “That must be where she got the jimson weed,” Emily pointed out.
           “What’s weird in she crosses the border, like, a lot.”
           “Why?”
           “Well, she works in Houston at that clinic, but she also helps at a low-income healthcare center. I can’t find a visa on her, which is double weird. And, in finishing the weird trifecta, there’s a social security number on her W2 form.”
           “Social security? She’s an American citizen?” I asked. Matt confirmed my suspicions with a nod of his head.
           “Yeah, she had dual citizenship. She was born in Houston, and her family had to move back to Mexico. She lives with them and she works in the U.S.”
           “This changes everything. We need to talk to the consulate,” Emily stated.
           Just as things were beginning to look up, Chief Castenada decided to grace us with his presence once more; and this time, he had an entourage.
           “It’s time for his transfer,” Castenada announced, looking pointedly in my direction.
           “We’ve had a break in the case,” Emily argued, shaking her head at him. “The victim was also American, and that calls for extradition.”
           Castenada merely shrugged before walking past us all.
           “I’ve got orders, sorry,” he muttered, making Gavin’s apology from earlier in the day sound heartfelt in comparison. Castenada wasted no time in beginning to place handcuffs on Spencer, locking them in place with a definitive click. Spencer and I shared a look of panic before both of us looked towards Emily in a silent plea.
           One of the men roughly grabbed Spencer by the arm and led him from the room. I watched in horror as they led him away, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest. I barely registered the fact that Emily was now on the phone. I just stood there, staring blankly at the entrance to the cell.
           “With the victim having dual citizenship, we now have concurrent jurisdiction. It was my understanding that the official order to extradite SSA Spencer Reid would be evaluated,” Emily damn near snarled into the phone. She paused for a moment, listening to the voice on the other line, before a look of relief washed over her face. “I understand, thank you.” She promptly hung up the phone before turning to face Luke. “They’re taking it to their brass. Go get him.”
           Luke took off in a rush, not needing to be told twice.
           I only wished I could be there to see the look on Castenada’s face.
--
           “We’re working on all channels here. Matt Cruz is on with the consulate right now. We could get an immediate extradition, but it’s just the beginning,” Emily explained, her voice stern.
           Spencer regarded her with a weary expression. The drug induced haze had finally lifted, leaving him painfully aware of how dire the situation was.
           “I really screwed up and I’m so sorry,” he choked out, resulting in a crack forming in Emily’s hard exterior. I couldn’t blame her; it wasn’t easy to stay mad at Spencer Reid. Spencer’s eyes were like kryptonite to most; big and brown and full of emotion. I’m sure if you searched ‘puppy dog eyes’ in the dictionary, a picture of Spencer Reid would be found in example.
           “It was for the right reason.”
           “I can’t remember what happened, but I know I didn’t kill anyone.” It was obvious in the way that he kept repeating the words that he was desperate for us to believe him. No amount of calm reassurance from us could quell the voice in his head that was surely telling him that we thought him guilty.
           “We do, too.”
           Clara was first to enter the cell, immediately followed by Matt.
           “Hey, they approved the extradition,” Clara announced, smiling brightly at the three of us.
           “Effective immediately,” Matt added on.
           We all exchanged relieved smiles before Matt and Clara led Spencer from the cell. Emily and I were quick to follow, right on Matt’s heels when we were stopped by Castenada.
           “I must point out that I feel like justice isn’t exactly being served with this move.”
           I pursed my lips together. In the short time we had been in Mexico, my feelings towards the man had grown from distaste to almost a full-blown hatred. That being said, I couldn’t help but understand where he was coming from. If Spencer hadn’t been a federal agent, he wouldn’t be granted the privilege of the extradition. Nor would he be allowed to fly home with us. I hated to admit it, but Castenada made a valid point.
           “I understand, but I can assure you that this has gone to the highest ranks and there will be a full investigation,” Emily reassured him.
           “Thank you for working with us,” I offered in an attempt to smooth over the rift I had created earlier. Now that my judgement wasn’t so clouded by my need to defend Spencer, I could see the error of my ways. I hadn’t been the most professional.
           Castenada nodded once in my direction before turning his attention back to Emily.
           “For our reports, I would like to have the recording of that cognitive interview.”
           I felt my blood run cold. That interview would just add to the list of things that could be used against Spencer in court. He had openly admitted to holding the murder weapon in his own hands, an admission that would surely earn him twenty to life.
           We cannot give him that recording.
           Emily seemed to be on the same page as I was.
           “I didn’t record it.”
           Castenada’s face contorted into an ugly frown.
           “But that was our agreement,” he squawked angrily.
           “I determined he was still under the influence. Anything he said wouldn’t have clarified matters.”
           Castenada’s gaze never faltered, eyeing Emily in an attempt to discern if she was giving him the run around. Luckily, Castenada was unable to find a hint of dishonesty on Emily’s face, and he nodded in resignation.
           Years of profiling will teach you how to control your micro expressions.
           “You’re committed agents. And I’ve worked with the IRT before. I trust you know what you’re doing.”
           “We do. I promise,” I stated, my voice giving off more confidence than I felt. Yes, I thought to myself, there’s no doubt that we’re good at what we do.
           But so is Scratch.
--
           All was quiet on the jet, the steady thrum of the engine being the only sound that could be heard. Rossi had been the only one able to fall asleep, something that I would be sure to tease him about later. Next to Rossi sat Emily, who had busied herself with flipping through Spencer’s arresting report. Clara and Matt sat across from them, engulfed in their own hushed conversation.
           Spencer had opted to sit on the couch, but he didn’t allow himself to sprawl out like he normally would have done. He was visibly exhausted, wiping at his eyes frequently in an attempt to keep the fatigue at bay. It was almost like he was punishing himself; like he didn’t feel he deserved the solace that sleep would bring.
           “You should go talk to him. See if you can’t get him to lay down,” Luke whispered encouragingly from his seat beside mine.
           “I have no idea what to say to him,” I confessed. I tore my gaze away from Spencer and turned my attention to Luke. “There’s nothing I can say that will make this any better.”
           “You’re not wrong about that, but maybe just letting him know you’re here for him will help. Just go and sit with him, I’m sure he could use a friend right now.”
           Luke was right. I let out a dramatic sigh before shooting Luke a pointed look.
           “Since when did you get so insightful?”
           A grin stretched its way across his face.
           “Always have been, sweetness. It’s part of my charm. I’m more than just a pretty face, you know.”
           “And on that note, I’ll be going,” I announced, standing up from my seat and walking the short distance to the couch. Luke’s chuckles sounded off behind me and I couldn’t help but smile; note to self, make more of an effort to get to know Luke Alvez.
I approached slowly, hoping not to startle him as he seemed to be lost in his own world. He didn’t notice me until I came to a stop in front of the couch. Spencer’s head shot up suddenly, the worry on his face melting away to form a small smile.
“Hi,” I greeted, returning his smile tenfold. “You looked like you could use some company. Do you mind if I sit?”
Spencer gave me a soft smile and scooted over, patting at the space next to him. I lowered myself onto the couch, angling my body so it was facing him.
“You’re tired,” I observed, leaning back into the soft cushions. Spencer shrugged in reply, opening his mouth to argue, only for a yawn to slip out. I let out a light laugh. “Don’t even try to argue. There’s no telling how long you’ve been up. Why don’t you try and get some sleep?”
Spencer’s eyes reluctantly met mine and I felt almost paralyzed when I saw the sheer vulnerability in them.
“Researchers from the University of Cardiff conducted a two-part study looking at whether people’s daily frustration or fulfilment of their psychological needs, such as feeling autonomous or competent, affects their dreams. The results from the first study showed that people who were frustrated with their daily situation tended to have recurring dreams in which they were falling, failing or being attacked,” he rasped out, his words jumbling together as they fell from his mouth in rapid succession. “The lead author on the study concluded that negative dream emotions may directly result from distressing dream events, and might represent the psyche’s attempt to process and make sense of particularly psychologically challenging waking experiences.”
“And you’re worried your dreams will reflect what happened today.”
Spencer bit the inside of his cheek before nodding in affirmation.
“I can’t promise you that you won’t dream about those things,” I began, my voice coming out soft. “But I can tell you that sleep deprivation can cause lots of very unfortunate symptoms like impaired memory, reduced physical strength, and inability to concentrate. Do you know how I know those things?”
A light flush dusted over the tops of his cheeks.
“Probably because I’ve made it a habit to bore you with my information dumps.”
I shook my head adamantly, reaching a hand up and ruffling up his hair. He batted my hand away, ducking his head to try and hide the smile tugging at his lips.
“Never a bore, Spence. But yes, I know those things because of you and that remarkable brain of yours. And we’re going to need that remarkable brain in tip top shape if we want to get you out of this mess, understood?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” he relented.
I patted a hand on my lap, an invitation for him to use me as a pillow. He seemed hesitant, eyes flitting from my face before going back down to my lap.
“Don’t act shy around me, Pretty Boy. I know better than anyone that you’re a secret cuddle bug,” I teased, earning a snort from the man next to me.
“Am not,” he harrumphed, before deciding to take me up on my offer. He laid his head down on my lap before stretching his legs out across the expanse of the couch. My heart lurched pitifully when he nuzzled his head into my leg before letting out a loud sigh.
“Thank you,” Spencer whispered, voice thick with emotion. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks, casting tiny shadows on his face. I smiled at the sight and began carding my hands through his hair.
“No need to thank me,” I murmured, raking my nails against his scalp and eliciting a pleased hum from him. “Don’t you worry about a thing, okay? We’re going to get you out of this. I know we will. And don’t worry about your mom, either; I’m going to check on your mom every day, I promise.”
Spencer’s breathing stuttered at the mention of Diana, and I worried I had crossed a line. He stayed silent for a moment, before moving his hand up and squeezing my knee.
“You’re entirely too good to me.”
“Yeah, well, you’d do the same for me. That’s what friends are for.”
No more words were exchanged, and within five minutes Spencer’s breathing evened out and he was asleep.
--
Several hours later, we were all filing out of the elevator and into the bullpen. I shivered slightly as the cool air hit my bare arms, but I tried not to show my discomfort. I’d shrugged off my sweater and offered it to Spencer the moment we stepped off the jet, draping it across his cuffed hands in an attempt to conceal them. Spencer had thanked me with a pitiful smile and I returned the sentiment, blinking several times to try and stifle the tears pooling in my eyes.
JJ was the first to greet him, with Stephen, Tara and Penelope following closely behind. I watched on for a moment before my attention was pulled elsewhere. Stephen’s phone had rung, prompting him to slip away from the group and retreat further down the hall. I furrowed my brow at this, taking advantage of my colleagues’ distraction as I wandered towards Stephen. I strained to hear his whispered words, but just as soon as I neared, he ended the call.
“What was that about?” I asked quietly. The look on his face told me that the news couldn’t be good, and I didn’t want to ruin the reunion going on just down the hall. They all deserved a few moments of relief.
Stephen let out a long sigh and ran his hand through his hair before speaking.
“I, uh, just got a call. Reid isn’t eligible for the bureau’s legal assistance.”
Stephen’s words sent a jolt of white-hot dread through me. “How is that even possible?”            “Spencer went without being briefed, and he wasn’t in Mexico on government business. They refuse to represent him.”
I let my wary eyes drift down the hall, towards the group of wonderful misfits that I had grown to think of as family;
Penelope, whose optimism never wavered, even in the face of the absolute worst that the world had to offer.
JJ, a devoted mother with a heart of gold and a fierceness that inspired me every single day.
Tara, one of the most intelligent and caring women I had ever had the privilege to know.
Rossi, a father figure to all with enough wisdom to create a legacy that would inspire generations of profilers to be.
Emily, a fearless leader whom I trusted with my life and would follow into battle without question.
Luke, a newcomer who took special care to comfort me when I was at my worst.
Spencer, a man too remarkable to even try to describe with words. A man that anyone of us would defend until our very last breath.
That undeniable truth gave birth to the tiny sliver of hope growing inside of me. Spencer Reid was innocent, and we are all hellbent on proving it.
I nodded once in affirmation, more to myself than to Stephen, before allowing myself to meet his gaze.
“We’re on our own.”
And if anyone could pull this off, it was this team. My team.
There is a point when facing the unknown stops being a longed-for adventure and becomes a terrifying reality.
           -Storm Constantine
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kikis-writing-world · 4 years ago
Text
Tiktok Dancing
Summary: Marcus wants to prove to Missy that despite whatever flailing and spasming is popular on that tiktok, he can dance.
Pairing: Marcus Moreno x GN!Reader
Word Count: 1.3k
Rating/Warnings: Fluff. Breif mentions of dead characters (Marcus’ wife and father.) No beta/editing.
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You and Missy watched the video over and over, rehearsing the steps the girls on the screen performed. Missy had begged and pleaded with you to learn a Tiktok dance with her so she could post it to her account. Marcus didn’t have a great handle on the technology, so you did your best to monitor Missy’s usage of the app. The girl had a small following - mostly her friends from school and other children of The Heroics, plus a handful of people who were hoping for glimpses into the life of the leader of The Heroics. 
After weeks of asking you finally gave in, but of course she picked something way out of your range.
“No, you have to kick your foot up like this,” Missy corrected, showing you the right way to do it. You restarted the video and watched, seeing she was right.
“Okay, okay. Like this?” You copied the motion the best you could.
“Yeah!”
“Okay, let’s try it again.” You declared, starting the video over so the two of you could dance along with the remixed song.
The two of you bumped into each other halfway through when you turned the wrong way. Missy fell on her behind, laughing the entire way down. Her laugh made you feel better about accidentally bowling her over.
“I’m sorry!” You apologized with your own laugh, offering her a hand.
“I thought you said you could dance.” She sassed, crossing her arms as she looked up at you.
“I said I would try.” You corrected her with a grin. “We’re almost there!”
“What’s all the commotion going on in here?” Marcus interrupted the two of you as he entered the den. He had a smile on his face, no doubt from hearing all the laughter the two of you were sharing. 
You’d been dating the man for two years now and had grown close to his daughter in that time. The two of you had introduced her to your relationship slowly, scared she would reject it after losing her mother. You also didn’t want to push too quickly into a relationship with Missy only for things to not work out between you and Marcus. There had been bumps in the road over the two years of course, between you and Marcus as well as with Missy, but overall it had been a great couple of years.
“We’re trying to learn a dance for Tiktok.” Missy explained, standing easily on her own.
“Tiktok again?” Marcus shook his head with a sigh. It was all Missy seemed to talk about lately, and he didn’t understand it. The technology the kids were into just moved too fast for him to get a grip on it. Just as he understands Webkinz, Club Penguin comes along. Snapchat was out, Tiktok was in. He was thankful you seemed to have a better handle on it, just so he could be sure someone was keeping an eye on Missy’s internet usage.
“See Dad, look.” She told him as she showed him the two girls doing the choreography. You bit back a laugh as his face contorted as he watched. Confusion, an attempt at interest, more confusion.
“That’s dancing?” He asked once the video looped back to the start.
“Daaaaad,” Missy scoffed, sounding every bit the pre-teen she was.
“I’m just saying. That didn’t look like any dancing I’ve ever done. That looked like they were trying to swat a fly. Or air out a bad fart.”
You laughed loudly at that, unable to hold back. Missy groaned, once again annoyed with how out-of-touch and uncool her dad had somehow become.
“I’m just saying.” Marcus held his hands up defensively, although he was grinning at you as you laughed.
“Why don’t you show her a thing or two then, old man?” You egged him on, teasing him with the moniker that came out anytime he called it “the facebook” or “tweeter.”
“Yeah Dad!” Missy challenged, cocking her hip. “You think you’re such a good dancer?”
“I never said that,” Marcus denied, glaring between the two of you. “I’m just saying that that isn’t dancing.”
Missy shot you a disbelieving look, clearly calling out her Dad’s skills. “Dad probably dances like Carlton on that show you were watching the other night.”
You couldn’t help but laugh again, knowing you had definitely seen Marcus dance like that before when he was being silly and trying to make you smile. Missy did her impression of the character, making sure to bob her head back and forth with a goofy grin. She looked so much like her dad as she did.
“Alright, that’s enough out of you.” Marcus warned, pointing at Missy with a playful glare. “You wanna learn how to dance, I’ll show you how to dance. Sit down.”
Missy plopped herself onto the couch, crossing her arms over her chest as she shot him a challenging look. Her eyebrow quirked up, clearly saying “show me what you’ve got.” You moved to sit with her, but Marcus grabbed your hand and pulled you to him.
“Oh no, you’re on my side for this one.” He told you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he held the other near your shoulders.
“Am I?” You questioned with a grin.
“I’m gonna need a dance partner.” He grinned back at you.
“I don’t even know what we’re doing.” You laughed.
“Just follow my lead.”
It took a moment to get the hang of it as Marcus led you through the steps. A slight push against your waist or a pull of your hand and he would spin you one way then the other. Push you out and pull you back in. His hips swiveled as he stepped, but you were much stiffer in comparison as you tried to follow the silent commands.
“Alexa,” Marcus called once you seemed to have your bearings. “Play my 80’s playlist.”
The computerized voice responded before Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody started to play.
“Did you plan this?” You accused him, narrowing your eyes.
“Not at all.” He smiled.
He led you through the steps to the tempo of the upbeat song, occasionally mumbling a word or two to tell you where to go. You didn’t know exactly what kind of dancing this was, but you’d love to learn more steps if it meant the two of you could dance together like this more often.
“Where did you even learn this?” You asked him as he pulled you close, your side tucked against his front.
“My parents.” He answered easily as he turned the both of you in circles. “They always used to dance together. When my dad died, I learned-” he paused, dipping you. “So she could keep dancing.”
“That’s adorable.” You marvelled, staring into his eyes. He grinned bashfully before pulling you back up onto your feet.
When the song ended, switching to another, both of you were breathing heavily. Most of it was due to the steps and the spins that Marcus had guided you through, but you had to admit that a part of it was the attraction you felt to him. You didn’t know he could dance, let alone dance like that. He had kept it appropriate, no Patrick Swayze Dirty Dancing moves, but the way he led you effortlessly took your breath away.
“Well, Missy?” He asked, grin on his face as he caught his breath. He turned to the couch and his grin fell. You turned away from him reluctantly to see what he was frowning. The couch was empty.
“When did she leave?” Marcus pouted.
“I have no idea.” You admitted with a giggle. The two of you had been so caught up in dancing that you hadn’t even noticed the young girl leave the room. “You proved your skills to me though.” You praised with a kiss.
A few days later you were checking up on Missy’s Tiktok account when you saw a video of you and Marcus dancing in the living room, taken from the doorway. The two of you were smiling, staring into each other's eyes as you spun. No wonder you hadn’t noticed her leave. The caption Missy had left on the video read “My parents are so cute 🤢🤮🤢”
Tagging @wickedfrsgrl​ @din-damn-djarin​ @dinthisisthe-wayson​ @insideafictionaluniverse​ @vonschweetz​ @driedgreentomatoes​ @computeringturtle​
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crushpdf · 3 years ago
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Tumblr Etiquette Masterpost
Hi! Because I have (1) anxiety (2) been on tumblr for more than a decade, I have assumed the incredibly narcissistic position of making a post about how to interact with people on tumblr, since I think I’ve mastered the basic rules.
UPDATE: I started drafting this post a while ago. I'm not calling anyone out. I mostly made this because I realized I had a shocking number of followers who are new to tumblr.
In this post I’m covering Asks + Anons, Reblogging + Liking, Following, Tags, and ~Making Friends~.
TL;DR: tumblr etiquette is about social norms. These are the norms I have observed in my time here. You’re free to blog as you choose, but tumblr is a happier place when everybody is following the same guidelines.
Yes I use the words like “have to” or “rule” in this post. No, none of these are actual rules. Do what you want, but be prepared to face disgruntled users.
Let’s get started!
All About Following 
Rule #1: You do not have to follow anybody you don’t want to. You do not need to let someone follow you if you don’t want to.
Tumblr is technically a social media site. If you want to grow your social circle, follow your mutuals’ mutuals. The internet is like real life. You do a Group Hang, and then eventually you get to the one-on-one friendship. (Please refer back to Rule #1)
Some of your mutual-in-laws might feel slighted if you follow everyone except them. That’s okay. (Please refer back to Rule #1) You might feel slighted if you’re the one not being followed. That’s okay. (Please refer back to Rule #1)
Tumblr is technically a social media site, but it’s also a place to see the content you like, not just the people you like. You can be friendly with people you don’t follow, or who don’t follow you. Some users are amazing people who just post the wrong content. That’s okay.
If someone posts content you don’t like, unfollow them. If you don’t like someone’s personality, unfollow them. Don’t be an asshole, don’t hate-follow, and don’t stress yourself out.
Asks, Anons, Messages
I tried to organize my thoughts into paragraphs. I really did. But talking to people on tumblr is messy if you do it wrong, and I’m just going to bullet-point some etiquette guidelines.
Rule #1: You do not have to answer any messages you don’t want to.
Your 500 word message should not be the first time a user sees your name
.....Before you get Venting Privileges, a user should recognize you from the tags you leave on their posts, or the comments you leave on their fic, or the other shorter messages you’ve sent them, or from being mutual-in-laws, literally whatever. But it’s Not Cool to dump things on people who don’t even know you.
The anon button should be used in two scenarios only:
.....1, to send a positive message. Not neutral! Positive message, the kind of message you send with heart emojis.
.....2, if you don’t want to admit personal information about yourself. The Venting Privileges Rule still applies even if you’re on anon (ie: you can’t vent! Because they don’t recognize your username!) and “personal information” does not include unpopular opinions. I’m talking messages like “Saw your post about living in Houston, and I agree!”
.....(Okay, three scenarios: if someone specifically asks for anons for an ask game or something!)
If you don’t want it posted publicly, don’t send it over an ask. Send it as a DM. You can always kindly request that the recipient doesn’t publish it, but typical tumblr etiquette is that asks get published by default.
Personally, if I follow someone back I like to introduce myself! Many of these conversations end after the “hi” stage, and I never force friendship upon someone. But many of these conversations also work as ice breakers, and make it easier to send the second message, and the third. Don’t worry that you’re being rude if you don’t do this—it’s also totally normal to just keep blogging as usual!—but it’s helpful in making friends.
If you reblog an ask game from someone, it’s just common courtesy to send them an ask of your own.
Tags, Blacklists
Rule #1: You do not need to use any tags you don’t want to.
(Are you sensing a theme? But this one gets a...)
But, be prepared to face disgruntled followers over this.
Tags are useful in so many ways. They’re a great place to organize posts so you can find them more easily later on! They’re a great place to show off your personality! They’re a great (and quiet! More on this later) place to show appreciation for content creators.
They’re also so incredibly helpful for your followers to avoid content they don’t want to see. If you’re delving into a new fandom and are about to reblog twenty posts in a row, tag it. If you’re liveblogging a movie, tag it. If your post (especially your photo posts) contains any common phobias or unpleasant things (gore, spiders, etc) tag it. And if one of your followers asks you to tag certain content, even if you don’t really understand why? Tag it, or else expect to lose that follower.*
*This isn’t about your follower count, btw. This is about being a decent person.
On the other hand, use blacklists and filtering liberally! If a user does tag their content, you have no right to complain about their posting it. Just filter it.
Reblogs, Likes, Comments
Tumblr is a blogging site. It functions on reblogged posts. That’s just how it works. This is not one of those sites where you scroll for hours clicking the like button.
Here are what likes are for:
Showing support for someone’s personal posts
Showing appreciation for someone’s tags
Admiring content that doesn’t exactly align with your blog (different fandom, inappropriate, whatever.)
Saving a post to find later
Showing double the love!
Here is where likes are most disappointing:
The original fic, artwork, or edits of your fellow tumblr users, especially in your fandom
(If you’re someone who regularly reblogs things, I’m not talking to you. You’re allowed to simply “like” posts. I’m talking to those users in my notifications that, day after day, like 35 of my posts and reblog exactly 1 of them.
Just reblog shit.)
Also, remember how I said you can quietly show appreciation in the tags? Only comment directly on a post if you are sure you’re adding something worthy to the post. If you’re just saying “haha me too!” or “I remember this!” just leave it in the tags. (Reminder! You can do what you want! It’s your blog and I’m not the police! I’m just teaching you etiquette! And the polite thing to do is to leave personal commentary in the tags!)
Let’s recap:
Aaaaand: Making Friends
Start small. Introduce yourself after you have mutually followed each other.
Leave nice things in people’s tags. They notice.
Send ask game messages.
Show off more of your personality. This isn’t a one way street!
.....You can do this by, well, reblogging things. Also by tagging things. Also by just making original posts.
Do not go zero to one hundred. You wouldn’t sit next to someone in class and start talking about your trauma (even if you heard that they share your own!). So don’t do it online.
Like people’s vent posts, and their asks, and their tag games. Reply to them, too.
Honestly? Do more tag games! If someone says “anyone can do this and say I tagged you” take them up on the offer! Tag other people you want to get to know more.
Last but not least, you do not owe anyone anything on tumblr, and no one owes you anything. Ignore the rude message. Block the annoying tag. Follow the users you like even if they don’t follow you back. Do not tell people to post more of X. Do not tell them to post less of Y. Do not ask them why they don’t follow you.
It’s so much easier to press the unfollow button than to be a dick.
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wellthatwasaletdown · 3 years ago
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"What has transpired negatively for him though? He looks around and sees only massive success and global media praise."
I really think you're looking at this all too big picture. You have to read the 'subtext' of what's going on, the behind the scenes. You also have to look past just the last year as there's been tons of things that have gone wrong over the years with HS, it just usually gets swept under the rug.
A good example I always come back to is his support of blm. He straight up refused to acknowledge those flags that were brought to shows until a massive amount of people began to get very vocal about it on twitter, then all of a sudden he's waving flags and putting stickers on his guitar. Same thing with the George Floyd situation. People begged him for days to just share the link to spread awareness. When he finally did, he posted a link that tracks clicks/engagement to measure if his fans were actually interested in the cause. A lot of his fans were massively upset by these things, some of us on here even slate that as one of the reasons we stopped being fans... It was a huge thing. But you won't read about that in articles. You'll only read the praise he gets for the action, not what led up to the action itself.
He's also dug himself into several holes for saying ignorant things from a place of privilege regarding sexuality and social concerns, i.e. "sexuality something's that fun. honestly? I can't say I've given it any more thought than that." "To be honest, I’m still searching for that one thing, y’know. Something I can really stand up for, and get behind, and be like: This Is My Life Fight.” People have been vocally upset by these statements as well, but he doesn't take the time to clear things up, just allows himself to receive praise for being some pioneer for wokeness.
Let's also not forget the pepsi show disaster or even more recently the Houston show disaster. No acknowledgement at how they could've/should've cancelled way before they did, but did not and thus risked people's safety. Harry has also lost so many close friends that had been around since the start: Nick, Lou, Adam and his wife, etc. His only friends now are literally monetarily connected to him... that is not a good thing. He also has apparently pissed off former 'employees' (Adam, Charlotte, Helene) by the way he does business. Literally all three of them have shaded him online at this point.. These are only some examples too. There is a plethora of instances that did not go right because of Harry's involvement, and yet he chooses to never acknowledge fault in those cases. Instead, his motto is ignore and move on like it never happened.
.
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thewayshedreamed · 4 years ago
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Side Bar
An Elriel fic
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This fic is set in the “This Time” Nessian AU— Starting with Elain’s birthday party from Part 3. Here’s the back story of those texts that haunted Elain, how the conversation with Azriel went, and mention of the eventual date that Nesta interrupted in Part 6 😉
You can catch up on This Time here!
A/N: It only took an eternity for me to finish this chapter. It’s the first thing I’ve posted that’s Elriel-centric, so I found myself deleting/re-writing to try and get it right. Eventually, I had to cut myself off and just put myself out there, so I hope y’all like how I’ve written them! Shoutout to @keshavomit and @acourtofmarauders whose comments inspired me to share this!!
——————————————————————————
Once Nesta dropped her off at her apartment post birthday breakfast, Elain drew herself a hot bubble bath. She hoped the warm water would ease her achy muscles and her unsteady nerves; both from the night before. It wasn’t that she had completely blacked out. She remembered the majority of the night, with only the time after her body started to succumb to exhaustion being a little fuzzy.
She lay back onto the back of the tub, taking a deep breath of eucalyptus scented bubbles and easing her eyes closed. She couldn’t help but reflect over the night, heart swelling with love for her family and friends who had truly made her 23rd birthday one to remember. It was increasingly rare that every one of them were able to get together on the same night, and she was feeling extra loved that they made it out just for her.
She had a few laughs to herself as the memories ran through her mind. She thought of her and Feyre dancing for hours, being joined by the others on and off throughout the night. Cassian grabbing her hand when Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” came through the speakers, spinning her around and singing loudly with her. Her friends keeping her drinks full and making her laugh. Being so excited that Nesta finally joined them for a couple of songs. Spinning into Azriel accidentally and hearing his deep laugh as he steadied her.
And just like that, her thoughts hanged on Azriel; like they always seemed to. She was no moron. She knew they had a natural sort of chemistry, but she always struggled to tell if he truly saw her that way or if he would ever be open to her. She was struck with a memory of him from the night before, something that hadn’t come back to her until now.
——————————————————————————
Somehow, she had ended up near the edge of the dance floor, semi-cornered near a table by Grayson. She remembered being so annoyed that he’d been there and even more annoyed that he was insisting on polite conversation. She wanted to yell at him that she knew he didn’t give a shit how she was doing and that he had no right to know after he’d wrecked her heart a couple of years prior. She wanted to swat at his hands when he would laugh and playfully touch her or reach for her. The alcohol in her system was begging her to do all of it, and she was almost completely convinced. Just one more touch or one more attempt at familiarity, and it was game over. She steeled herself, waiting, until a pair of arms wrapped gently around her waist from behind.
“There you are, love.” Azriel’s smooth, deep voice ran over her, and she relaxed immediately.
He was closer than usual, more affectionate. She realized the show they were supposed to be putting on, and she leaned into him. She rested her head back on his chest, and turned her chin way up to look into his face. He was looking down at her, mere inches away, with amusement sparkling in his hazel eyes.
“Hey,” she breathed, lamely, if she was being honest with herself. She felt the impression of cool glass in her hand and looked down.
”Sorry it took me so long to grab your drink. The bar was really backed up.”
She looked down at the half-empty glass in her hand. Definitely his existing drink. She decided to give him a little hell. Why not? They were pretending, anyway.
“Babe. It’s half-empty,” she pointed out through a laugh.
He narrowed his eyes at her playfully, telling her he knew she was being difficult. “I may or may not have gotten thirsty on my way back to find you.”
“Az, you remember Grayson.” She gestured toward her ex as she spoke. When he looked up, she noticed the tension in his jaw.
“Of course. How are you, man?” He released her waist with one hand, extending it toward Grayson. Grayson only looked at it, ignored it completely, and addressed Elain.
”Really? This guy? You’re better than that.” She felt Azriel tense behind her. Grayson gripped her upper arm, pulling her toward him. “You can’t be fucking serious, Elain. Guys like him are good for one thing. Maybe you can have a few good rolls around in the sheets, but you can’t honestly expect to settle down with a guy like him.”
All too quickly, Azriel’s large hand gripped Grayson’s wrist where he was holding Elain’s arm. There was a layer of darkness to his tone that Elain had never heard.
“Get your fucking hand off of her. Now.” He gripped Grayson harder in warning, but Grayson’s eyes stayed on Elain’s.
“Elain, come on,” Grayson said.
She was fuming. His company had been unwelcome from the beginning. He’d been far too comfortable entering her personal space. He had openly insulted Azriel on multiple levels. He was manhandling her. The words left her before she could stop them, the alcohol delighting that it finally got its way.
“Even if you’re right, he’s the best fuck I’ve ever had and has ruined me for anyone else. So allow me to indulge myself for as long as I feel like it,” she seethed.
Grayson’s eyes widened and quickly narrowed in anger. Nevertheless, his grip on her arm softened, and Azriel shoved his arm back toward his body. He shook his head and walked away, totally speechless.
“You okay, Ellie?” Azriel was in front of her now, looking down into her face. He was running the back of his fingers up and down her arms, and she cursed the goosebumps that erupted over her skin.
“Yeah. I really am. Thank you for coming over. You didn’t have to do that,” she said. She glanced up at him and watched his features soften when he realized she was serious. Shortly thereafter, he started laughing.
“Elain, you can’t just go around saying things like that about me. Word will travel, and I may not live up to people’s expectations,” he joked.
She groaned, feeling guilty that she had completed objectified him without his consent. She leaned into him, resting her forehead on his chest for a couple of seconds before looking at him again.
“I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know what got into me. I just felt like humbling him a little, and I didn’t like how he was talking about you.”
Azriel laughed as he pulled her into a hug, his forearm braced around her neck.
“No apologies, Ellie. Come on. I owe you a drink; you know, a fresh one.”
——————————————————————————
Elain’s eyes popped open, and despite the heat of the bath water, she felt herself flush further at the memory. He hadn’t seemed bothered, but holy shit. Who would take it upon themselves to call someone “the best fuck they’ve ever had” when they’d never so much as hugged long enough to be considered intimate? Gods above.
She was obsessively thinking about her deleted messages again. She grabbed her phone off the side of the tub, hoping that when she opened her messages app, all of her texts would magically reappear. They didn’t, just as they hadn’t the other 15 times she’d done it that day.
She removed the plug from the bathtub, letting the water out and begging it to take all her memories along with it. She toweled off, put her lazy Sunday clothes on, and padded out of the bathroom.
She was startled by her phone ringing and dragging her back to the present. To her absolute horror, Azriel’s name flashed on her screen.
She steadied herself before she answered. She was glad to hear that her voice sounded as if she were a perfectly stable person.
“Hello?”
”Hey, Ellie. How you feeling today?” he teased.
Hungover. Fucking mortified.
”About how you would imagine,” she laughed. “What’s up?”
”I wanted to check in on you. And I wanted to see when you would have some free time to meet up. I still have your gift,” he explained.
Of course he’d gotten her a gift. Because he was wonderful. And she’d treated him like a glorified escort. She answered him before she lost her nerve.
”Oh. You didn’t have to do that, Az,” she paused. “What about now? You could come by?”
It took him a couple of seconds to respond. “Um, sure. Yeah. You know, it doesn’t have to be today, though. I didn’t mean to impose or anything.”
Shit. Was she too eager? To hell with it if she was. Waiting would kill her.
”You’re not! Really. I’m just being a bum on my couch today. I’d like the company,” she replied.
——————————————————————————
After about thirty minutes, Elain was convinced she was being stood up. Maybe he didn’t have the heart to tell her he wasn’t wanting to see her today. She was about to draft a text to him before she heard his knock on her apartment door.
“Come in!” she called. She had unlocked her door during her fitful pacing minutes ago.
He poked his head in before opening the door and stepping inside. The sunshine flowed into the apartment behind him, and for a second, she was almost convinced that he was superhuman. His dark hair was damp and brushed haphazardly to the side, and she couldn’t help thinking about how unfairly attractive he was. He was wearing a black v-neck with black jogger sweats, and his scent of cedar and mist washed over her as he plopped on her couch.
“You look way too alive and well today. Seems a little unfair,” she pouted.
He breathed a laugh as he turned toward her. “Some of us drank water throughout the night, birthday girl,” he teased as he tapped her nose with his index finger.
“Hey!” she exclaimed in faux annoyance. “I drank water. Maybe it was today, but I did.”
He tapped her knee with his hand, and she swore she felt it throughout her entire body.
”I’ll be nice. I’m here bearing gifts, after all,” he replied.
She thought back to the night before. The memory of their bit with Grayson, her deleted texts. She thought of Nesta’s words of advice that morning to ask him about the only remaining text she had: his reply. It was now or never, she supposed.
”Before you give me my present...” She bit her lip. “...can I talk to you?”
She watched his eyes land on her lips and jump immediately to her meet her stare. His brows furrowed in concern.
“Of course, Ellie. About anything. You okay?” His words, so similar to those he asked her last night, flooded her nerves all over again.
“I woke up this morning to a really confusing text from you. Not that what you said is confusing necessarily, but apparently, I deleted all of my texts last night. I must have done it right before you responded, so I have zero context to our conversation.” She could feel the heat of her blush on her chest, her neck, her face. She wanted to be literally anywhere else. She showed him the text for frame of reference.
Azriel: 😂 Not cool. You had me worried there for a minute, Ellie. Goodnight. Hope you enjoyed your birthday.
She watched his eyes scan the text, his lips spreading into a small smile. He wasn’t speaking soon enough for her liking.
”Oh. That. We had been texting a little at the table right before you left, but at some point between you standing to leave and getting home, you sent me this.” He scrolled through his phone until he landed on her message. He turned it to her so that she could read it for herself.
Ellie: I’m v mad at you Az
Another one, several minutes later.
Ellie: Nvm talked to Nessie. We’re good. Night 😘
Cauldron, Elain. Kiss emoji, really?
The only other message was his response that she’d already shown him.
She shook her head. “I have no idea what that’s about. What was I saying before that?”
Now it was Azriel’s turn to blush, the tips of his ear turning a faint pink. “Oof. I don’t know if sober me feels as bold as the drunk me in those. I think I’ll just keep those tucked away.”
She blinked at him and his nerve to insinuate he was going to keep them from her.
“Azriel Spion. You better show me those texts.”
”Mm. Don’t think I will, Elain Archeron.” His blush spread to his cheeks.
She lunged for his phone, but he dodged her at the last second. He lifted it into the air out of her reach, her body sprawled across his lap. Elain with less adrenaline would have been mortified to find herself there, but this was critical information. She pushed herself back onto her knees, reaching for the phone in his outstretched hand. He evaded her yet again.
”Why are you so giant? For the love of the Mother, just let me see!” she exclaimed.
”No! It’s not my fault you deleted yours,” he retorted.
She knew she would never be able to overpower him, and he was too stubborn for her to talk him into giving in. She landed on torture, hoping it would work in her favor.
She stopped reaching for his phone and instead turned her hands to his torso. His position left his underarms wide open, and she took her chance, hoping he was ticklish. Otherwise, this would only be even more awkward than it already was.
To her absolute delight, Azriel yelped in surprise. He immediately snapped his arms to his sides as he tried, and failed, to hold back his loud laugh. He tried to move away or grip her hands, but doing so would mean he would have to shift his arms. His body wouldn’t allow it.
“Elain!” he bellowed. “Stop it. I said STOP.” He let out another loud belly laugh, and Elain fell a little bit harder at the sound. It was one of the most precious things she had ever seen. Azriel, who was always so reserved, so dry, letting out such a loud, deep laugh felt like an honor to witness.
”Not until you show me those texts! They’re just as much mine as there are yours!” She had to raise her voice over his laughter, the words coming out through laughter of her own.
“You didn’t keep yours,” he said through clenched teeth between laughs. “Not. My. Problem.”
She pushed her fingers in a little harder, and he yelped again, dissolving into laughter once more.
“Fine! Alright!” he yelled. “You win!”
He tossed his phone on the cushion behind her. She stopped immediately to retrieve it, leaving Azriel spent and gasping for breath next to her.
“You tiny, brutal woman,” he breathed, eyes locked on her.
She waved him off, scrolling up through his messages to the beginning of last night’s conversation. The first messages were mild enough. She thanked him for her birthday drink, for saving her from that conversation with Grayson, for humoring her with a slow dance despite the fact that he wasn’t one to dance much. His responses were polite and friendly, barely on the flirtatious side. She was about to toss his phone into his lap and call him dramatic before her eyes landed on a message that sent her pulse through the roof.
Ellie: That feels nice. Thank you 😊
A: Anything for the birthday girl.
Ellie: I mean, I can’t believe everyone hasn’t offered to play with my hair. Seems a little rude.
A: Very. I guess you’ll have to get new friends.
Ellie: Except you. You have to stay 💕
A: Like I said, anything for you.
She shot her gaze up to look at Azriel. He was watching her with the focus of a surgeon, scanning her face for any reaction. She was doing the same to him. She had a vague, fuzzy memory of sitting next to him in their booth for a portion of the night and assumed that’s when these had occurred. They had likely resorted to texting considering their friends’ nosiness. There were more messages, the time stamp about thirty minutes later.
Ellie: Stop being so nice to me. I’m going to fall in love with you.
A: Promise?
Ellie: 😅 Very funny. You’ve been warned.
The rest were the ones she’d already read about how she was mad at him, whatever that meant. She could hear her own heartbeat; feel her blood pressure in her gums. She knew her blush was at an embarrassing level, and she had to take a couple of deep breaths before she looked at him again. He was still looking at her, an almost pained expression on his face.
She cleared her throat. “So. Did you?”
”Did I what?”
”Stop being nice to me,” she murmured.
”No.”
She locked his phone and handed it back to him as she settled into the cushions. She wanted so badly to close the distance between them, but she knew she’d already pushed him beyond his comfort zone. His answer spoke volumes if she was interpreting him correctly, but she was terrified to find out. She decided to stay the course, keeping the focus on her deleted messages.
“I guess I should check in with Nes. Just to see what I was mad about,” she said quietly.
”I talked to her this morning,” he murmured.
Her eyes locked on his yet again.
”And are you going to tell me?”
”Do I have a choice? You’ll torture it out of me otherwise,” he joked. She was grateful for the laughter as a break in the tension. He cleared his throat.
“You told Nesta you were mad at her, too. When she asked why, you told her it was because she and I are such close friends,” he said. He glanced at her, giving her a chance to react.
“Why would I care about that now? I only know you because of your friendship.” She was so tired of being lost, of being the only one who didn’t know what was happening.
His voice remained quiet and even, as if speaking any louder may scare her away. “You told her it was because I would never look at you. Because you’re her little sister and I was considerate and wouldn’t want to make her mad.”
She swallowed thickly, hoping she looked more put together than she actually was. “And what did she say that made me so quick to drop it?”
That evoked a small laugh and the sound of it made her want to curl into him. “That I’m not scared of her in the slightest,” he began. “And that I was basically the only person she would find worth of you.” His blush deepened as he finished.
She nodded, processing his words. Her mouth was dry, and she was totally speechless. The distance between them was almost painful now, but she was so terrified to make him uncomfortable and potentially ruin their comfortable friendship.
He shifted on her couch, scooting a little closer to her. She was still facing him, her legs curled under her and her elbow settled on the back of the couch. She propped her head on her fist and fixed her gaze on his thigh, an inch away from her knees.
“When I told Nesta that I’d deleted my texts, she told me to talk to you. That you would be understanding.” She glanced up at him. “I basically bit her head off. But it’s because she knew without a doubt that you would understand, isn’t it?”
”She’s known for a long time how I feel, Ellie. Without me having to say a word.”
All she could do was nod. He shifted forward, turning his attention back to the reason he’d come over.
”Az, you really didn’t have to—“ he interrupted her my lifting a scarred finger.
”None of that. I wanted to, and I did.” He placed an envelope in her lap as he ran his hand through his damp hair.
She opened it, scanning small documents inside to figure out what he had gifted her. Two tickets to see the Velaris Philharmonic Orchestra. One of the first true conversations they’d had, she shared with him that she wanted to go one day. With the hustle and bustle of life and the expenses that came with it, she’d never gotten around to it.
True to her sensitive spirit, tears brimmed her lower eyelids. She was so touched that he remembered but simultaneously felt guilty that he’d spent so much on a gift for her.
“You can invite who you want to. I know Nesta has wanted to go, but you can bring a friend, too. I just wanted to make sure you had company. It didn’t feel right to give you a gift where you’d have to go alone.” Her heart melted at his rambling. Azriel never showed his nerves, and he had let that wall down for her several times today.
“Azriel.” She glanced at him, willing him to look at her again. His elbows were resting on his knees and he’d been staring straight ahead as he spoke. He finally turned his head toward her, his onyx hair brushing across his brow. She leaned forward, resting her chin on his shoulder as she took in his elegant bone structure.
“Thank you. I love it more than you know,” she whispered.
His eyes lit up at her words, and her chest squeezed at how much joy it brought him to make her happy. His eyes fell to her lips, and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched him wet his own. He brought a scarred hand up to cup her cheek and pulled her face even closer to his, using his thumb to pull her lip from her teeth. She gasped softly, and he pressed his full lips softly to hers. She leaned into him, letting out a small whimper when his grip tightened slightly on her cheek.
Something shifted in him at hearing her whimper into his mouth, and he sat up to orient his body toward hers. He deepened the kiss, then hooked his hand behind her knee to pull her over his lap. She settled into him, moving her hips against his, and he let out a low groan as she moved.
She pulled back from his kiss to look at him, still a little in disbelief that this is where their day had taken them. She ran her fingers through his hair and watched as his eyes fluttered shut. He let out the most indecent moan, and it took everything she had not to slant her mouth over his again.
“What are you doing Thursday?” she asked.
His eyes popped open, still a little glazed over from the heat between them. His hands were under her sweater, thumbs tracing small circles over her ribs.
“No plans, why?”
”A very dear friend of mine gifted me two tickets to see the orchestra, and I’d really like to take you on a date, if that’s okay.”
He smiled at her, his eyes turning up at the corners as he looked at her. “I would say I feel bad for the guy, but there’s no way I’m missing that,” he replied, his lips brushing hers as he spoke. “I’ll be sure to pull out my best suit.”
Her returning smile was so broad, it almost hurt. “Perfect. I can’t wait,” she whispered as she started to rock her hips once more. His lips crashed into hers then, their conversation over for the time being.
Before she lost herself in him completely, she had one fleeting thought as she reflected over their earlier words. “So, did you?”— “Did I what?”— “Stop being nice to me.”— “No.”
It looked like he was hell bent on keeping it that way, and she knew she was beyond screwed.
She was already in love with Azriel Spion, and even still, he was never going to stop being nice to her.
——————————————————————————
Well, there it is! A brief timeline note: Nesta’s phone call falls on that Thursday, during their post-date sleepover. I hope y’all enjoyed it!
Tags (This Time taglist + masterlist):
@polireader // @lord-douglas-the-third // @justgiu12 // @notyournymphetish // @sjm-things // @strangeenemy // @iammissstark // @keshavomit // @sjmships // @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks // @dusty-lightbulb // @texas-shaped-waffle-maker // @julemmaes // @charincharge // @superspiritfestival // @awesomelena555 // @sleeping-and-books // @hizqueen4life // @maastrash // @bookstantrash // @rhyswhitethorn // @grace-k-sterling // @sayosdreams // @sis-it-dont-add-up // @b00kworm // @courtofjurdan // @sannelovesreading // @acourtofmarauders // @candice-dick-fit-in-your-mouth // @gisellefigue08 // @girl-who-reads-the-books
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yessoupy · 4 years ago
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i think i have to unstan harry styles.
best weekend of my life (so far)
it's been a week [a fucking year] and I still haven't posted my review. at this point y'all know the show was awesome. hannah is posting her pics after a week straight of actually working (let's take up a collection to hire hannah to go to harry shows and produce exclusive content for us, what do you say?). after a week [a YEAR] away from the harrie commune all I can say is.... I don't know if I can continue on this way without it. i might have to stop altogether. [somehow, i’ve made due.]
after the last show of the 2018 tour I had such a fierce feeling that I'd missed out on something I would have really loved. there was nothing to do for it, since it was my sister's wedding day, so I moved on pretty quickly. but I also made the decision that for harry's next tour, I was going to go all out.
my dudes, what a way to ring in the new era. [and present me needs to interject here that i think i knew that something was going to go horribly wrong in 2020. even with tickets in hand to such faraway shows as phoenix, denver, and raleigh, i could NOT book flights or hotels as late as february. i knew about coronavirus in late december because i was traveling abroad and acutely aware of travel warnings about wuhan province. and in early february we had our mardi gras party and franny showed up kind of sick and i hugged her but cautiously, mentally cataloguing her symptoms. so when it finally happened i think i was just ... resigned. and that’s why i wasn’t as upset as i would have been if nothing had changed from the time i started writing this review.]
this kind of show always seemed like something that happened to other people. getting the actual tickets was rather stressful (though not as stressful an experience as others had...) but once everything shook itself out i couldn’t even think about the weekend or else I’d implode. thank god for @chasm2018‘s organizational abilities. 
we missed a measles exposure at LAX by 2 days (bless). my first harrie commune™ experience of the weekend was riding the connections shuttle to pick up @papiermachecat at terminal 6 like she was a conquering hero (she is). we rode the connections shuttle to pick up @stylesinthewild and found a little table at starbucks in the baggage claim to wait for the bay area harries to arrive in their rented minivan full of goodies.
we piled in and hannah got us to our two hotel rooms, one with three queen beds, and somehow we got to the forum twice, once to buy pre-show merch and then the final time for the fine line show. we all dressed up and then took just ONE picture. one.
you know how the show went. i’m trying to cover ground that the squad hasn’t already posted [a YEAR AGO]
here is the note I DM'd to harry the next morning, which i think sums everything up nicely:
thank you for the show last night at the forum. I flew in from Houston and met up with friends from all over, only one of whom I'd gotten to hug in real life prior to yesterday. today we're sharing beds and toothpaste and fond memories. thank you for being you and bringing us all together. 💜
i don’t remember WHEN i sent it, maybe 3am, but later that day i took an uber to a vegan tattoo artist’s backyard studio to get a planned tattoo that @papiermachecat had sketched for me and my impulse tattoo of a fine line around my left wrist. while i was doing that, the squad finished up eating breakfast with other harries and then went to stand in the pop-up shop line.
you’ve heard the line stories. i fucking LOVE standing in a line for something because of the people you meet. in front of us we had a personal DJ who’d play what people wanted to hear and airdropped a picture of harry’s dick from WMYB. we’d break off in pairs to go to CVS or visit other people we knew in line. and this hasn’t been written about before, but one of those times hannah and i were walking around the block we saw some men standing by some cars near the entrance and we kind of stopped.... and i think at the same time realized who we were looking at ... and after looking around and realizing that no one else in the fucking line recognized jeff azoff hannah went in for the kill. we thanked him for taking such good care of harry, answered questions he had for us, thanked him again, i had the presence of mind at the end to tell him our names, and we took the pop-up shop merch menus that hadn’t been passed out to anyone yet, and then walked back to our spot in line silently, processing that moment. sometimes i’ll think about that conversation and get all warm and fuzzy thinking about that show and how well it went and how much LOVE there was for everything and harry and between all of us and it sustains me through a shitty, shitty pandemic day at work.
eventually we got through the line and got our merch and looked at all the things they had set up and after moving our reservation back we got to cafe habana to sit at a very familiar table and i took off my bandages to show my tattoos to everyone (to this day i regret not having the presence of mind to show jeff my brand new fine line tattoo, he would have loved it) and we ate and laughed and had the server take our picture and that’s probably what i miss most about the weekend, being in that place imbued with such silly meaning to us and all FEELING that gravity of where we were and being able to recognize it in each others’ eyes and smiles. perfect weather, amazing food, the best company.
the early morning saw our three queen room breaking up, and @papiermachecat left a single zyrtec in the middle of the room on the floor, bringing me to tears laughing even without her physical presence. @chasm2018 and i went to randy’s donuts (where we met up with @treatpeoplewithnice again) and GOD i want to eat donuts that good again. 
it was sad to leave LA that afternoon, wearing my new tpwk oversized hoodie. it wasn’t the last time i was around a big crowd of people, wasn’t even the last concert i attended before all of this happened (that was in vienna on december 30), but it was the last time i was going to be full of unbridled joy. that weekend was the real ode to joy.
we’ll get back to it, it’s just going to take some time.
@stylesinthewild, @papiermachecat, @greeneyesharry & emily, @treatpeoplewithnice, @aggresivelyfriendly, and @chasm2018: fine line forum squad forever in my heart. that weekend will always be so special to me for so many reasons and it wouldn’t have been the same without each and every one of you.
@accidentalharrie and @styloff - ONE of these times we’ll be in the same place for long enough to do more than hug and grin at each other.
@ferryboatpeak and @ticklefighthockey - it was great to meet you! and la who would have thought then our next meeting would be in the backyard of an airbnb sitting six feet apart because we don’t want to spread a disease?
to harry, who isn’t reading this but i need all of you who ARE to know my heart ... thank you for bringing these people into my life. this experience of being your fan has changed me in such profound ways that there’s really no way to express it. it’s less about you and more about those who love you like i do, and i love them. and you.
to jeff, thank you for taking such good care of harry and having his best interests at heart. 
to anne, thank you for raising such a good person and giving him to the world.
to camille, thank you for fine line. without you, that weekend doesn’t happen the way it did and i love that weekend. 
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giftofshewbread · 3 years ago
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Developing Now (Prophecy Update )
By Daymond Duck            Published on: August 8, 2021
Concerning world government: on July 28, 2021, prophecy teacher Geri Ungurean posted a Tony Koretz video on her website (Absolute Truth from the Word of God) in which Tony made a couple of statements that really caught my attention:
“We are headed toward a worldwide dictatorship.”
“A global medical dictatorship is rising.”
Writer’s comment: It is hard to deny that the shadow government is using unelected individuals to dictate policies (masks should be required, vaccinations should be mandatory, people that disagree with them should be censored; lockdowns should be ordered, etc.) to nations all over the world.
The government of Antichrist will be a worldwide dictatorship, and it is developing now.
It may even be more developed than most people realize because it doesn’t appear that Biden is in charge at the White House, and someone has made Covid a global issue.
On July 30, 2021, Bloomberg reported that “More than 4.06 billion doses have been administered across 180 countries…. The latest rate was roughly 39.7 million doses a day.”
Below is more information about Covid than this writer likes to put in one article, especially with everything else that is happening, but this idea that Covid is being used to establish a global medical dictatorship needs to be explored.
Just know that Jesus will eventually throw a big monkey wrench into the plans of this global medical dictatorship (no one knows the day or the hour), and ultimately, we will win.
One, concerning open borders or a borderless world: on July 28, 2021, it was reported that Catholic Charities had booked all the rooms at a hotel in La Joya, TX, the U.S. Border Patrol was releasing immigrant families to Catholic Charities, 20-30 Covid-infected people were staying at the hotel, and infected individuals were then being moved to other hotels in the McAllen, TX area.
It appears that Catholic Charities and the Biden administration’s Border Patrol are knowingly and deliberately spreading Covid while Biden (under the influence of the shadow government) is blaming the unvaccinated for spreading Covid and talking about forcing unvaccinated U.S. citizens to get vaccinated.
It looks like the shadow government is creating an excuse to have another lockdown and try to control everyone.
Update: Earlier in the week, TX Gov. Abbott signed an Executive Order to stop the Biden Administration from transporting illegal aliens (many infected with Covid) into and through TX. But on July 30, 2021, Biden’s Attorney Gen. Merrick Garland said it is “dangerous and unlawful” for Abbott to stop the federal government from bussing illegal aliens into the U.S.
If this is not knowingly and deliberately spreading Covid, what is it?
Update: On Aug. 2, 2021, Bill Melugin, Fox News Correspondent in Los Angeles, wrote, “All morning long, we’ve watched Border Patrol drop off multiple busloads of migrants at a Catholic charity in downtown McAllen, where they are given food & shelter before they take buses and flights across the United States. Buses arriving every 30 minutes so far.”
Update: On Aug. 4, 2021, Fox News Commentator Lawrence Jones said, “Every hour of every single day, buses leave the border taking people with Covid to other parts of the country.”
Writer’s comment: Unvaccinated people are not to blame for this, and it is partly why the U.S. may have to go into another lockdown; more people will lose their jobs, businesses, etc.; inflation will soar; the U.S. economy will worsen, etc.; and the real goal is to scare people into accepting a godless one-world government.
Two, concerning deceit: on July 28, 2021, people in the halls of the House of Representatives were required to wear masks, but people in the halls of the Senate (same building) were not required to wear masks.
Why does the government and CDC tell people to follow the science when members of the House are required to wear masks and members of the Senate are not required to wear masks?
Does the science that our government wants people to follow change depending upon where people are in the halls of Congress?
Three, concerning the shadow government’s desire to reduce the population of planet Earth: it is difficult to know the truth, but on July 28, 2021, it was reported that the Director of an Alex Jones video said (as this writer understands it), one’s immunity system is reduced after the second jab of a Covid-19 vaccination; every jab after that will reduce the vaccinated person’s immunity system even more; continuous vaccinations will eventually reduce one’s immunity system to zero; eventually the vaccinated person will require a jab for every new illness that comes around because they won’t have a natural immune system to work against it, and they cannot survive if they don’t get it.
According to an article by Brandon Smith on July 29, 2021, globalists and their puppet governments are desperate to get everyone vaccinated because they are gaining great social and political power by pushing it.
This writer will add that they plan on the government owning everything and them taking over the government.
Four, on July 29, 2021, it was reported that the Center for Disease Control claim that vaccinated people are immune to Covid is false because the CDC is now telling vaccinated people they need to wear a mask. (If getting vaccinated makes a person immune, why should they be required to wear a mask? Will the vaccinated person eventually need to take a Mark to distinguish them from the unvaccinated?)
By the way, this writer may be wrong, but he seems to remember that one purpose of social distancing was that masks are not 100% effective.
Update: On Aug. 2, 2021, Yahoo News reported that fully vaccinated people that get the Covid Delta Variant are just as likely to spread it as unvaccinated people.
Five, on July 29, 2021, it was reported that the California counties that claim to have the highest percent of vaccinated people now have the highest Delta infection rates (Why should people get vaccinated for Delta if it is going to increase their chance of getting it?).
Update: On Aug. 1, 2021, naturalnews.com reported that Israel may have the highest percent of vaccinated citizens in the world (people are required to be vaccinated if they want to buy and sell), but as much as 90% of all new infections are people that have already been vaccinated.
Six, on July 29, 2021, The Gateway Pundit posted an article by author and radio host Wayne Allyn Root that makes the following points (I am quoting him):
I personally have vaccinated friends that have gotten Covid.
New York Yankees players who were vaccinated have Covid.
An NFL Coach who was vaccinated has Covid.
Olympic athletes who were vaccinated have Covid.
Texas Democrats who were vaccinated have Covid.
In Israel, the government admits a majority of new Covid cases are among the vaccinated.
In UK, the government admits a large share of new Covid cases and hospitalizations are vaccinated.
Root gives several more examples (but you get the idea), and then he goes on to say, “America is being destroyed from within. Bad and evil people are in charge…. I know one thing for sure. Unvaccinated Americans aren’t to blame.”
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/07/wayne-root-know-exactly-blame-new-wave-covid-not-unvaccinated-americans/
Update: On Aug. 2, 2021, Sen. Lindsey Graham announced that he has tested positive for Covid even though he has been fully vaccinated.
Writer’s comment: Booster shots are needed because the vaccinations are failing.
Seven, on July 30, 2021, it was reported that Dr. Rochelle Walensky, Director of the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), said the Covid vaccines are failing to control the Delta variant and vaccinated people may be more contagious than unvaccinated people. (Really! Vaccinated people are more likely to spread Delta than unvaccinated people?)
On July 30, 2021, White House correspondent William Koenig reported, “The vaccines are not working—in fact, they are making things worse. The White House and the CDC are alarmed that many of the new coronavirus cases are with those vaccinated.” (Koenig’s Eye View from the White House)
Koenig said, “Dr. Peter McCullough told on Fox’s Laura Ingraham Thursday night of a recent wedding in Houston that had 35 guests. All were vaccinated, and all came down with COVID…. would it be possible that the vaccinated need to be put into quarantine to protect the non-vaccinated?”
On Aug. 2, 2021, Pam Geller reported that as of June 1, 2021, 99% of Gibraltar’s estimated 34,000 residents had been fully vaccinated, but Covid has now exploded on the peninsula; and 90% of Iceland’s estimated 369,000 residents have been fully vaccinated (98% of those over 70), but Covid is surging.
On Aug. 2, 2021, the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) admitted that 74% of the people that were infected in a recent Delta Variant outbreak in Massachusetts were people that had already been fully vaccinated.
Eight, on July 29, 2021, it was reported that the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPS) came out against forced vaccinations.
The AAPS said, “all human beings have the right to liberty, which they do not forfeit when they serve the sick or the disabled.”
They said “experimental drugs” (the vaccines are experimental) cannot be coerced according to federal law.
Nine, concerning the Battle of Gog and Magog: on July 30, 2021, an Iranian drone struck and an Israeli oil tanker. Defense Min. Benny Gantz called an emergency meeting and announced that Israel will make an “appropriate response.”
Updates:
On Aug. 1, 2021, the U.S., UK, and Russia gave Israel the “green light” to retaliate against Iranian targets. Iran said it will “respond promptly and strongly to any misadventure.”
On Aug. 3, 2021, it was reported that Iran or Iranian proxies seized 5 civilian vessels (4 are oil tankers) near the UAE coast.
Ten, concerning wickedness and deceit: in late July, it was reported that:
Audits of the 2020 election may move forward in Wisconsin and 5 counties in Florida.
The Biden Justice Dept. warned state and local officials that it is “concerned” about the legality of some audit procedures.
Twitter suspended several accounts that have been reporting on audits in Arizona, Georgia, Nevada, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin.
Auditors in Arizona testified that there were widespread irregularities in more than 2 million ballots that were cast in Arizona.
A joint meeting of the Arizona house and senate can legally decertify the Arizona election, and they may eventually do that.
Eleven, concerning the decline of the U.S.: on July 27, 2021, former Sec. of State Mike Pompeo said, “Collapse from within is possible.”
Pompeo added, “Immigration without assimilation, illicit drugs, human trafficking, disputed elections, inflationary risks have become the tools to disassemble our republic in what must surely be an attempt at national suicide.”
It sounds like Pompeo believes people are deliberately attempting to bring down the U.S. (This writer believes the Deep State may be trying to cause the U.S. to commit national suicide, but the economic collapse will be after the Rapture.)
Twelve, concerning a departure from the faith and a falling away in the Church: on July 26, 2021, it was reported that Facebook is planning to use future church lockdowns to increase its number of users.
Adding services could be a good thing, but Facebook censors services that go against “their Community Standards,” and it is dangerous to have people that support abortion, gay marriage, world government, world religion, etc., deciding what can and cannot be streamed on Facebook.
Perhaps, this is one reason why Paul said, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching” (Heb.10:25).
God wants the whole world to hear the preaching of the Word, but He wants it to be the whole Word, not a filtered, censored, or politically correct message.
Thirteen, in the Bible, the Greek word translated “sorrows” means travail, labor pains, birth pains, etc.
Birth pains increase in frequency and intensity as the birth of a child nears.
When Eve sinned, God put a curse on her; “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow (labor pains) and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children” (Gen. 3:16).
Jesus said false Christs, wars and rumors of wars, famine, pestilence, and earthquakes are “the beginning of sorrows” (beginning of the birth pains or Tribulation Period; Matt. 24:8).
Paul said, “For when they say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child” (Like birth pains; I Thess. 5:3).
Many prophecy teachers believe natural disasters will increase in frequency and intensity as the Second Coming nears.
On July 31, 2021, it was reported that Prof. Petteri Taalas, the Sec. Gen. of the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) said, “Weather, climate and water-related hazards are increasing in frequency and intensity as a result of climate change.”
How significant is it that the Bible teaches that natural disasters will increase in frequency and intensity at the end of the age, and the head of the WMO said disasters are increasing in frequency and intensity?
Fourteen, concerning the Mark of the Beast: there was a time when some prophecy teachers said one’s Social Security Number, Medical ID Number, etc., is the Mark.
Wrong, the Mark of the Beast is not everyone having a different number; it is everyone having the name, number or Mark of the Antichrist (Rev. 13:17).
On July 20, 2021, it was reported that cybersecurity expert Karen Roby said vaccine passports have to be consistent so that all countries can recognize them.
A common global vaccine passport may evolve into a common global mark in the right hand or forehead, and godless globalists that don’t believe or understand the Bible wouldn’t hesitate to push it.
Finally, are you Rapture Ready?
If you want to be rapture ready and go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3). God loves you, and if you have not done so, sincerely admit that you are a sinner; believe that Jesus is the virgin-born, sinless Son of God who died for the sins of the world, was buried, and raised from the dead; ask Him to forgive your sins, cleanse you, come into your heart and be your Saviour; then tell someone that you have done this.
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mooncademia · 5 years ago
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I Wanna Dance With Somebody
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pairing ~ idol au!jungkook/reader
genre ~ uhm, fluff!! 
summary ~ deep talks and reassuring hugs aren’t the only solutions to cheer your boyfriend up. No, for jeon jungkook, you knew you had to do something more to turn that frown upside down, and lucky for you, you know exactly what to do ;) 
word count ~ 1.5k
Author’s note ~ hello everyone! this is my first fic ever posted here, there may be a few grammatical errors (English is not my strongest pursuit) so please bear with me >.< I hope to slowly improve my writing in the future, but till then, please enjoy reading this fun little story I wrote! 
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“Y/N, you know you don’t have to do this.” Jungkook—your boyfriend—assured you as you leaned over to grab your phone from his desk. You connected the bluetooth to your boyfriend’s very! big! red! speaker! You honestly didn’t understand why Jungkook has an obsession with bluetooth speakers but anyway… that wasn’t the point.
“And you know you don’t have to ask that question every time right?” You said as you gave him a peck on his right cheek with a smile, but Jungkook barely smiled back.
Jeon Jungkook. An idol. In a boy band called BTS. Your boyfriend. Jungkook, beloved by millions of girls and boys all around the world, known as the ‘golden maknae,’ his life has been actively shared across the globe (well, except the fact that he has a girlfriend, lets keep that low-key for now, shh! Dispatch, who?). But despite all the characteristics and known-facts shared on the news media and interviews, no one can understand your boyfriend better than you.
In fact, you knew him too well.
You knew your boyfriend’s hidden vulnerabilities, his darkest emotions as well as memories, and today just happened to be a day where you walked into cold rain when you opened the door to his new studio. Namjoon had warned you about Jungkook’s mood before you entered his studio, something about “making errors on stage?”
And yup, you totally understand why Jungkook will be so upset about this. Because you see, Jungkook could fall down the stairs but still manage to dance for 5 hours straight when he realized there were no broken bones but bruises. But when it comes to performances, his bandmates, and his fans.
It becomes serious.
And it’s not about just singing songs and going on tours, you knew your boyfriend too well for just that. Jungkook loves his fans with all his heart, you could see the passion just exploding in his eyes. He sings songs not because he “just likes singing,” but because he wants to share his message. He wants to touch people’s hearts and give invite his fans into a world where they want to escape from what reality is throwing at them. His message is to teach the world about sensitive topics—like when it comes to self-care or self-love— and to let the world know that the most important person in the world is yourself.
And all of those things are all under the list that you made in your head titled:
“REASONS WHY MY BOYFRIEND IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD”
But even though his heart is all for his fans, bandmates, and music, he becomes very very determined and sensitive in the sense that he wants everything to just be well, perfect. You know this when you see him dance by himself at the dance studio in the middle of the night, reviewing the choreography over and over again. But when it comes to a single mistake, oh ho ho, Jungkook never stops. He reflects, and you mean, REALLY reflects on his mistakes and plays the error again and again in his head, like watching a horrible movie in your head on loop. And when you first dated him, you were in complete shock to see him go full-out to get everything perfect. He goes through the rehearsals countless times to make sure everything is in the correct order and in the correct position. And despite the fact that practicing is not a bad thing, Jungkook sometimes overdoes it and ends up sulking alone in his studio feeling guilty for all the mistakes that he made on a performance. He will list all his mistakes (mentally AND physically) and even bring up past ones to compare. You remembered one time, he wrote all his mistakes on sticky notes, placed them on the wall, and you thought you teleported into an espionage dimension when you entered his room.
However, today, even after you tried to talk to him and listen to his feelings, you could still see the sadness swirling in his dark chocolate brown eyes.
“Music always does the trick, doesn’t it?” You say as you scroll through your playlist on your phone.
Jungkook let out a puff of air through his nose and rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, until you mess it up and let millions of people down.” He scoffed as he flicked his head so his bangs could cover his eyes.
“Just…listen to this, maybe this can lift the mood a bit,” you said. You put down your phone as you clicked on a specific song, hoping the beats could lift the cold/heavy emotions swirling in your boyfriend’s chest.
“Whitney Houston?” Jungkook said as he leans behind on his gaming chair staring at you with his gorgeous puppy eyes when the beat begins. The high-energy music bounces off the walls of Jungkook’s studio, thumping away like a big tantrum, but you loved it and you know he did too.
“Yup!” You squealed. “WHOOOOO~” you screamed trying to match your oh, so perfect harmonization skills with Whitney Houston. You jumped on his couch and started to lip-sync to I Wanna Dance With Somebody. You grabbed a water bottle from the table and pretended to use it as a microphone as you wiggled your hips (just for good measure ;) ) The beat was extravagant, but that wasn’t the reason why you chose this song. You chose this song because it was the song that was played when you screamed “I LOVE YOU” for the first time to Jungkook. You could still remember his eyes blowing 10 times the size when you said those three words, his hug that he pulled you in, and most of all, remembering him repeating those three words back to, casting sweet euphoric emotions to dance in your heart.  It was one of the best moments you ever had in your life and it was a memory that will forever be engraved in your heart.
“COME ON!” You shouted through the loud beats, smiling as you reach for Jungkook’s wrist. You could see a small crease forming on Jungkook’s face as you grabbed his hands pulling his body up as you jump around his studio. Jungkook stood up, crossing his arms but you could see a hint of happiness in his eyes.
~Dont-cha wanna dance?!~ you screamed with a bright smile plastered on your face as you use your amazing exaggerated facial expressions to really emphasize your awesome lip-sync abilities, and your oh, so attractive dance moves which consist of numerous amount of hip wiggles, jumping, and body rolls.
Now Jungkook was really smiling and laughing. The wrinkles near his eyes is your everything. He grabs your waist suddenly to pull you closer, making you gasp. You could smell the fresh scent of flowers of his black sweatshirt—maybe it was because of the Downy Adorable Fabric Softener that he uses religiously on his clothes.  But as the song continues, you realize that your chest was pinning his and your breathing was heavy from all the silly jumping that you did. His arms were now hovering you as he rested his chin on your head and closed his eyes. You hugged him back, smiling. You guys stood there, swaying your bodies back and forth softly to the beat of the song. And as the Whitney Houston’s voice slowly starts to fade and as the last rhythm comes to an end, your phone jumped to the next song:  “I Will Always Love You”
Ah, and you have to admit, this was the best moment. Your boyfriend, your favorite person in the world, your best friend, despite all the tough times you both endured, you both always managed to find the light at the end.
No matter how long it takes, no matter how bummed either of you are, both of you will do everything and anything to make the other person happy—even if that's just a small smile or a warm hug.
Jungkook leans down to whisper a small thank you in your ear, making your cheeks sting with warmness as you smile—your face buried in his chest. Now you both were slow dancing as Whitney Houston’s voice echoes around your boyfriend’s small studio.
“I’m always here for you, you know that right?” You said with your eyes closed, inhaling the fresh detergent smell from Jungkook’s black hoodie.
“I know” Jungkook replied timidly, kissing the top of your head. “Me too”
And you hum a satisfied replied, still smiling.
You both slow dance away as the chorus of the song continues.
Steps short and slow but meaningful.
As if each step slowly added color to your life, reminding you that no matter how hard life is, as long as your love is by your side, you can always make it till the end of the line.
“I love you Y/N” Jungkook tells you, arms still wrapped tightly around you.
You smile. “I love you too, Jungkook-ah”
And that feeling of welcoming warmness pouring back into Jungkook?
Now, THAT'S the best feeling in the world.
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A/N: if you actually read the whole fic, i-.. *gives you a BIG virtual hug* Thank you so so much!! Please feel free to message me what you think about this story or leave a message saying whatever you want, I’ll be very happy to message you back! Have a lovely day~~
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studiopeachz · 3 years ago
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Women Empowerment Research
What is women empowerment?
“Women's empowerment is the process of empowering women. It may be defined in several ways, including accepting women's viewpoints or making an effort to seek them, raising the status of women through education, awareness, literacy, and training” Empowering women is a part of a person’s well being to enable them to feel ‘powerful’ in their own way. Being powerful can mean a lot of things and can come from philosophy, wisdom, talents, work ethic, and so much more that helps build a person’s character.  
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What is the history of Feminism and Women Empowerment in New Zealand?
https://theconversation.com/why-new-zealand-was-the-first-country-where-women-won-the-right-to-vote-103219 
125 years ago today Aotearoa New Zealand became the first country in the world to grant all women the right to vote. The event was part of an ongoing international movement for women to exit from an inferior position in society and to enjoy equal rights with men. Many supported universal male suffrage and a less rigid class structure, enlightened race relations and humanitarianism that also extended to improving women’s lives. These liberal aspirations towards societal equality contributed to the 1893 women’s suffrage victory.
At the end of the 19th century, feminists in New Zealand had a long list of demands. It included equal pay, prevention of violence against women, economic independence for women, old age pensions and reform of marriage, divorce, health and education – and peace and justice for all.
During the 1880s, depression and its accompanying poverty, sexual licence and drunken disorder further enhanced women’s value as settling maternal figures.
New Zealand gained much strength from an international feminist movement. Women were riding a first feminist wave that, most often grounded in their biological difference as life givers and carers, cast them as moral citizens. With hindsight, the feminist movement can be implicated as an agent of colonisation, but it did support votes for Māori women. Meri Te Tai Mangakāhia presented a motion to the newly formed Māori parliament to allow women to vote and sit in it.
What does women empowerment mean to Gen Z?
https://www.thinkhousehq.com/insights/bodies-blood-brilliance-gen-z-feminism 
“Everyone should be feminist, because it’s about equality. It’s not about telling women what they should or shouldn’t do, if someone wants to wear make up then they can, and if they don’t want to wear make up then they don’t have to. But there is an issue with many self-proclaimed feminist being gatekeepers. My friends and I think that TERFs, particularly, are a major issue. Feminism is also about helping men, helping them express their emotions and not have to be the breadwinners of a family and destroying toxic masculinity.” - Grace, 18
From actresses to survivors, artists to poets, and models to musicians, what Gen Z feminist icons all have in common is that they channel their creativity expertly to tell their stories, while adopting an unapologetic activist approach to opening conversation and fighting for justice, change and equality.
Representation in popular feminism today takes many forms. It’s about equal representation in society, with regard to industry, politics and policy making and equal representation in culture. Initiatives like Her Story aim to raise the profile of women’s stories, as a way to combat the global phenomenon of amnesia of women’s stories in history and more contemporary times.
Gen Z are talking more openly about vaginas, periods, miscarriages, body hair, the lot. This celebration is not only about the differences between women’s personal experiences, but also of the distinctive traits all women hold. The representation particular feminine traits and the unique brilliance of women comes to the fore in conversation here: 
“While equality is important, to me it’s more about valuing the traits that a woman has. Creating more feminine, comfortable environments could bring about a positive change in different ways.”- Alwyn, 25.
Ultimately, what these trends tell us about feminism today, is that young women today are radical about owning who they are and being recognized accurately by wider society. They are unashamedly channeling their intelligence, digital currency, agency and creative skill, with purpose, to shout louder and more powerfully as a group than ever before.
https://musebycl.io/7-ways-empowering-gen-z-girls-change-world 
These girls—especially those born from the mid-1990s to the early 2000s—have the ambition, confidence and desire to make a difference in the world. So much so that they've inspired me to take the leap from communicating to women to making a real cultural change.
Having other strong, supportive women to look up to will be a motivator to these girls when they enter the workforce. With initiatives like the #SeeHer movement, the advertising industry is already making an effort to accurately portray women in media, and hopefully strong women will continue to take the spotlight.
Individuality is important to Gen Z, so encouraging them to pursue their passions is vital. Recognizing that their lives are multifaceted and giving them the tools to explore and grow will help inspire them both at work and beyond.
https://psmag.com/ideas/why-generation-z-is-embracing-feminism 
In many cultural contexts, Generation Z appears to be embracing feminism as a positive thing, demonstrating confidence in the power of activism, particularly via social media.
Malala Yousafzai, or 18-year-old Emma González, who's at the heart of the #NeverAgain movement protesting gun violence in the U.S.,
Online feminist campaigns such as #everydaysexism, #MeToo, and #TimesUp all draw energy from the new consciousness among this generation.
How is women empowerment done/displayed in a Gen Z way? - consider what inspired you to do a women empowerment campaign.
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“HOT GIRL SUMMER”
https://time.com/5632924/hot-girl-summer-meme-explained/ 
If you’ve logged onto Twitter or swiped through your Instagram at any point this summer, you’ve definitely seen a post declaring it’s a hot girl summer. The now-ubiquitous phrase, a call to live your most confident and unapologetic life, was coined in the early months of the season by Houston rapper Megan Thee Stallion, whose colorful monikers for herself also include “the H-Town Hottie” and “Hot Girl Meg.”
Contrary to what one might assume when hearing “hot girl,” the lifestyle is not focused on aspiring towards conventional beauty or influencer clout. Instead, it’s an embrace of confidence at its most essential: loving who you are and doing what you want, without caring what others think.
hot girl summer is for “women — and men — having a good-a– time, hyping up your friends, doing you and not giving a damn what anybody has to say about it.”
(the hashtag #hotgirlsummer has been used over 170k times on Instagram, while the hot girl summer has been used on Twitter a whopping 2 million times over the past month) distills an affinity, exhibited by many women in 2019, towards body positivity and self-affirmation. Hot girl summer, a hip-hop feminist manifesto, taps into these movements from many angles, championing confidence, sensuality and fun.
Tacho explained why she embraced hot girl summer to TIME thusly: “It’s a positive movement! Having a Hot Girl Summer is all about being the best version of yourself and doing what you want to do. It’s all about having fun.”
And as with most things on the Internet, it’s attracted its fair share of controversy. Although Megan clearly stated that hot girl summer is gender neutral, some trolls on the Internet were determined to make hot girl summer a battle of the sexes, pitting it against a “hot boy summer” or a “city boy summer,” the latter being a play on the rap group the City Girls (the duo is known for their fierce, take-no-prisoners approach to love and sex in their music).
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“I CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW, I’M DOING HOT GIRL SH*T”
https://www.buzzfeed.com/andriamoore/doing-hot-girl-sht-tiktok-trend 
Megan Thee Stallion gifted us the slogan of a lifetime when she broke onto the music scene and coined the phrase, "real hot girl sh*t."
If you don't know, the phrase has basically become a battle cry for female empowerment.
But the latest TikTok trend is putting a hilarious twist on that sense of empowerment. People are uploading videos of themselves doing... well, things that aren't typically in the realm of "hot girl sh*t"— like shaving your stomach.
If anything, this trend has only further increased the purpose of the hot girl anthem: feeling proud and confident with who you are already.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/z3v873/hot-girl-shit-meme-megan-thee-stallion-tiktok 
Over the past couple of months, “hot girl shit” has swept through social media like a heat wave. These videos feature people, mostly those who identify as women, embracing their most everyday, banal moments—shaving their upper lips, putting on face packs, savouring the last few puffs of a joint, involved in an intense gaming sesh or simply taking their 23rd nap in the day—under the guise of doing something that could be considered hot, a term that generally refers to the sexual attractiveness of a person.
But what they may lack in logical reasoning, they make up for in deeper meaning: letting the world know that being “hot” isn’t just equated to someone’s physical appearance anymore. That being hot is a mentality, a mindset that involves extra dollops of extreme self-confidence, and something to be found inherently within us rather than something you’re blessed at birth with or what your cosmetic surgeon helped you achieve.
TikToking and Reels-ing our way to chipping away centuries of female objectification and sexism, prompted by the male-dominated industry ideal of how women should look and behave to “qualify” as hot.
“This trend proves that ‘hot girl shit’ lies on a spectrum, and is ultimately just about feeling confident,” Uchenna, the first known creator of this meme format, who goes by her screen moniker @makeupbychelseax, told VICE. The young creator sees the trend as a way to reclaim the identity of what a “hot” girl should be, after centuries of the concept hanging on the hinges of the male gaze.
Mulvey theorises that essentially the male gaze hypersexualises women, reducing them to objects of attraction for the male lead. The male gaze, which has been dominant throughout the history of pop culture, ultimately drives the perception of what the ideal woman should look like.
Over decades of women being seen through a stereotypical lens in pop culture and art, mostly crafted by heterosexual men, the male gaze has also conditioned many young women who consume this content to strive to achieve the same standards of the perfect on-screen female lead.
“The stereotypical idea of the ‘hot girl’ would be a tall, skinny, fair girl with big boobs,” Shreemi Verma, a film critic and marketing professional told VICE.
“hot” girl is a socially conditioned prototype, a fantasy fuelled by the lack of female filmmakers and critics in the mainstream industry. so many of us connected with this meme trend is because of how real it was.
Verma stressed that by showing the raw reality behind what can be considered hot, this trend became a relatable way for women to challenge the on-screen stereotype. the idea of “hot” continues to evolve into a more empathetic, all-encompassing ideal. Supriya Banerjee, a 24-year-old social researcher based in the Netherlands, told VICE. It normalizes simple things like art, dance or cooking meals for children as things a hot girl does.” For Banerjee, the trend has a simple underlying message: that everything women do can be considered hot girl shit.
What does Gen Z women empowerment suggest?
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Feminism and female empowerment within Generation Z shares the idea of positive cultural change in female stereotypes through technology and social media which can be easily flowed into the mainstream of society and news. Gen Z is all about individuality, authenticity, and diversity and is always up to challenge  stereotypes and break the norms unapologetically in order to be truly happy because Gen Z is passionate about wellbeing and mental health. Gen Z sets out trends on social media to spread messages and ideas that influence other social media users. Overall, Gen Z’s way of breaking female stereotypes is through trends, social media, music, and many more types of media just to get the word out.
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tabloidtoc · 4 years ago
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OK, March 8
You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: Bruce Springsteen
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Page 1: Big Pic -- as part of Coach's latest campaign Jennifer Lopez posed with a supersized pink version of their new Pillow Tabby purse
Page 2: Contents
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Page 3: Contents
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Page 4: Chris Harrison gone for good? The Bachelor host's future with the show remains uncertain after his controversial interview with Rachel Lindsay
Page 6: Since the start of his career Justin Timberlake has endured his fair share of scandals but after welcoming his second son with wife Jessica Biel over the summer and celebrating his 40th birthday, he is confessing that he feels immense guilt about the past and he won't be making the same mistakes in the future -- Justin's done some soul-searching and accepts that he's wronged a lot of people over the years with his own terrible mistakes and he says he's still a work in progress, but step one has been to stand up and admit he's hurt too many women -- in addition to a boozy night out with his Palmer costar Alisha Wainwright in 2019 and his part in the now-infamous Nipplegate incident with Janet Jackson at the 2004 Super Bowl, Justin recently came under fire again due to the documentary Framing Britney Spears which showed him exploiting his breakup from Britney Spears to help his solo career -- Justin's learned from his mistakes and has a lot more sensitivity about the impact of his actions on other people and that's the big difference between the Justin of today and his old, immature self and that self-awareness was evident in an emotional statement that he posted apologizing to both Britney and Janet for the errors in his ways -- his words drew praise from his wife Jessica who says he's come a long way as a husband, a father and more importantly, a human being
Page 7: Wendy Williams is on the prowl for a new man and he's got to be husband material and she is ready for a serious commitment -- Wendy's been staying up until all hours of the night checking out guys online and on exclusive dating apps and she wants someone age-appropriate, fun, kind, independent and of course has no history of cheating -- she's feeling very optimistic and even buying new perfume and clothes and jewelry for all the dates she hopes to have once lockdown lifts
* Texas native Matthew McConaughey is seriously considering throwing his hat in the ring to become the state's next governor -- he's been putting out feelers to see if he's got sufficient support and if enough donors are willing to write checks, he'd mount an aggressive run in 2022 -- he's already gotten the thumbs-up from his wife Camila Alves and their three kids -- at this point, he needs to see an actual path to winning because he's not interested in just making a protest statement; don't be fooled by his aw-shucks attitude, Matthew means business
* Now that Keeping Up With the Kardashians is coming to an end, the hunt is on for a new family to replace the clan and one reality pro is poised to nab the prize: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Rinna -- there's already been talk about Lisa picking up the torch and her family is camera ready, consisting of husband Harry Hamlin, and their daughters Delilah Hamlin who's dating Love Island's Eyal Booker and Amelia Hamlin who's dating Scott Disick
Page 8: Things keep going from bad to worse for Armie Hammer -- he was forced to drop out of his upcoming movie Shotgun Wedding with Jennifer Lopez after direct messages he allegedly sent to women in which he described himself as a cannibal and detailed disturbing sexual fantasies were leaked online -- Armie was also fired by his talent agency WME and now the disgraced star may get cut from his new film Next Goal Wins which has already been shot -- he's radioactive and everybody knows it and his completed but unreleased work is getting a second look as studios want to do damage control, and that includes another of his finished projects Death on the Nile where his part could end up on the cutting room floor -- he's a pariah now and it's hard to see how he's ever going to come back from this
* Jennifer Aniston has always had a spiritual side but these days she is taking things to a whole new plane -- Jen has surrounded herself with psychics and has been doing Goddess Circles with the same group of close friends for 30 years, but now she's taking courses to learn to heal herself and be her own guru -- BFF Courteney Cox has been a big influence and Jen's learned a lot from Courteney, who's had a long-term interest in mediums, astrologists and horoscopes, and she's trying to fuse it all together into her own brand of spirituality -- Jen's had a lot of time alone, which has only deepened her questions about the universe and how she can make the most of her life and she's determined to find the answers
* Princess Eugenie is over the moon after welcoming her first child, a baby boy with businessman husband Jack Brooksbank but now the new mom is torn about taking time out from her royal responsibilities -- Eugenie would love to take a long break from everything and focus solely on raising her son however she knows deep down how much she's needed, especially since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are showing no signs of coming back -- as she weighs her options, Eugenie is looking to her multi-tasking cousin-in-law Duchess Kate for some inspiration because she's impressed by how Kate is able to juggle her official duties while raising three young kids
Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars captivate in enchanting puff-sleeve numbers -- Bel Powley, Aubrey Plaza, Lupita Nyong'o
Page 11: Kaitlyn Dever, Lucy Boynton, Margaret Qualley
Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Hilary Swank vs. Madeline Brewer, Bella Hadid vs. Devon Windsor, Alison Brie vs. Dua Lipa
Page 14: News in Photos -- Tayshia Adams and her fiance Zac Clark felt on top of the world when the visited the Empire State Building together
Page 15: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were inseparable while out and about in Beverly Hills, Bill Murray and NFL player Larry Fitzgerald Jr. were among the many stars to shoot their shot during a charity golf tournament in Pebble Beach, Rita Ora performing on an episode of the U.K. show Dancing on Ice in Hertfordshire
Page 16: At the Australian Open Serena Williams came out on top during the fourth round, Bachelorette alum Jordan Kimball and fiancee Christina Creedon couldn't wait until they got home to enjoy Candy Pop popcorn's new Peanut M&M's flavor from Sam's Club in Houston, Heidi Montag spent the day hitting the slopes at Lake Tahoe
Page 17: Hailey Bieber starring in Beyonce's new Ivy Park x Adidas collection
Page 18: Brody Jenner had a blast snow tubing while shooting the second season of The Hills: New Beginnings in Lake Tahoe, Avril Lavigne stepped out with her new boyfriend Mod Sun for a romantic dinner in West Hollywood
Page 20: Justin Bieber looked like he'd just hopped out of bed in a sweater and checkered fleece pants in L.A., Robin Thicke in front of a piano in L.A.
Page 21: Steve Martin doubled up on face coverings on the set of his new project Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Michelle Obama on her new show Waffles + Michi, Cardi B spoiled herself with high-end goods during a day of shopping on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills
Page 22: Brooke Burke romancing with boyfriend Scott Rigsby on Valentine's Day, Lucy Hale accessorized her look with her newest rescue pup Ethel in L.A., Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon masked up for a snowy outing in NYC
Page 24: For Galentine's Day Vanessa Lachey snacked on macarons and sipped on wine in L.A.
Page 25: Bella Hadid alongside models Mayowa Nicholas and Heejung Park in Michael Kors' new campaign for the Spring 2021 collection, Hugh Grant stepped out for some fresh hair in London, Sofia Vergara kept it casual during a visit to a pal's house in Beverly Hills
Page 26: Inside My Home -- Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley's Rocky Mountain retreat
Page 28: Marriage isn't easy especially during a global health crisis but for Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard divorce is not an option -- Kristen said she and Dax at the start of the pandemic were at a point in their marriage where they definitely needed a little therapy brush-up and every couple of years they're being very antagonistic towards each other and they don't want that so they go back to therapy and figure out how they can serve their team goal better and it's been incredibly helpful and even in the toughest times they always have each other's back and they're committed to being each other's biggest support systems -- while their relationship may never be perfect, they're happy and love each other and that's what matters most
Page 29: Now that Tom Brady has won his seventh Super Bowl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he has set his sights on the next prize: baby No. 3 with wife Gisele Bundchen -- they've been telling friends they hope to make an announcement by summer at the latest and Tom and Gisele have been super loved-up since leaving Boston and moving to Florida after the QB signed on with the Bucs and the change of scenery has worked wonders on their love life and put them in baby-making mode -- the duo, who recently bought a $17 million spread on Miami's exclusive Indian Creek Island, plan to build a luxury mansion there complete with a nursery and they hope to be all settled in when the new arrival comes -- they've never felt healthier or been happier
* Aaron Rodgers looked positively giddy when he revealed he had a fiancee, Shailene Woodley at the NFL Honors, but the QB is dreading the next step: bringing her home to meet his parents because it's no secret that Aaron's been estranged from them for years and the last thing he wants is for Shailene to get caught up in the drama -- Shailene wants Aaron to clear the air with his folks, but he's not ready to do that and he doesn't want to bring Shailene into a toxic environment
* It's only been two years since Miranda Lambert married Brendan McLoughlin but she's already itching for some alone time -- she's headed to Texas in April for her first concert in over a year and she's told Brendan he shouldn't come because it will be all work and no play but she really wants to get away from him for a while and after the pair's recent road trip together, Miranda is desperate for some space -- sometimes Miranda feels like she's living with a baby because Brendan whines and complains about life on her farm
Page 30: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker's romance is heating up fast, so much so that she's practically handed over the keys to her Calabasas estate and she loves having Travis sleep over and sometimes he'll stay the whole weekend -- he gets along famously with her children and Travis has been a friend of the family for years, so the kids have pretty much known him their whole lives and they'll do fun stuff together like hiking or playing video games and Travis loves making breakfast and showing off his pancake-flipping skills --Travis is spending so much time at Kourt's place that he's moved a bunch of his stuff in to make it easier for his kids Landon and Alabama with ex Shanna Moakler to visit him there -- everyone's convinced they'll be living together full-time before you know it
* Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were met with a flurry of well-wishes after they revealed they're expecting baby No. 2 -- the couple decided to wait until Meghan was safely into her second trimester to share the news and they only told a handful of family members before the public and they wanted to cherish this secret for as long as they could -- Harry and Meghan have been nesting at their Montecito mansion and have been busy prepping the nursery and making sure it's eco-friendly with energy-efficient lighting and they're keeping it as plastic-free as possible
* Love Bites -- Clare Crawley and Dale Moss reunited, Kit Harington and Rose Leslie welcomed a baby boy, Paris Hilton and Carter Reum engaged
Page 32: Cover Story -- Bruce Springsteen's private world -- he's an open book in his songs, but here's Bruce's untold story of his struggles with depression and regret -- he still has dark thoughts from time to time but therapy and medication have helped a great deal
Page 36: Stars' Cheating Confessions -- sometimes all you can do is beg for forgiveness; these celebs have all had to plead their case -- Donny and Debbie Osmond, Jude Law and Sienna Miller, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith
Page 37: David Letterman and Regina Lasko, Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling, Kevin Hart and Eniko Parrish
Page 40: Interview -- Elizabeth Olsen -- the Avengers star dishes about getting witchy again for Marvel's mind-bending WandaVision
Page 42: Golden Girls -- how these Golden Globes nominees get their award-worthy figures -- Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicole Kidman, Lily Collins
Page 43: Kaley Cuoco, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Seyfried
Page 44: Aadila Dosani's vegan recipe for Chickpea and Potato Soup
Page 46: Style Week -- Ashley Graham is the new global brand ambassador for self-tanning label St. Tropez
Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- create a naturally gorgeous, flushed look with fashion designer Jason Wu's namesake makeup collection
Page 49: Haute hippie retro jeans -- take a trip back to the '70s with Revice Denim's ultra-cool capsule, Los Angeles Lovers -- Delilah Belle Hamlin
Page 50: Flower Power -- floral prints are spring's hottest trend -- rock the pretty blooms for a fresh, boho-chic look -- Kaia Gerber
Page 52: DIY Blowout -- these foolproof finds deliver impeccable hair right at home -- Drew Barrymore
Page 54: Entertainment
Page 55: Q&A with Mary Fitzgerald of Selling Sunset
Page 58: Buzz -- after months of playing it coy, these celebs confirmed their relationships on Valentine's Day -- Scott Disick and Amelia Hamlin
Page 59: Vanessa Hudgens and Cole Tucker, Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Green, Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker, Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker
Page 60: Sound Bites -- Halsey on not conforming to conventional beauty standards, Anderson Cooper on coparenting with his ex, Ashley Graham on the importance of self-care, Kate Winslet on feeling like a fish out of water in Hollywood
Page 61: Tom Holland on the plot of the next Spider-Man flick, Mila Kunis joking about keeping her family entertained during quarantine, Drew Barrymore when asked if she's ever been skinny-dipping, Madelaine Petsch on playing a teen in Clare at 16
Page 62: Horoscope -- Pisces Lupita Nyong'o turned 38 on March 1
Page 64: By the Numbers -- Riz Ahmed
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