#there's a possibility this wont show up on the tags but it's okay i'm posting because it's june today!

[agentrouka-blog]

Super long ask, I hope this is okay to share with you. I've been reading through your speculation tags and so many other Jonsa blogs and everything just CLICKS.

I think George wasnt lying when he said the show end point is more or less how the books will end too. I really do think it will be as close to that as it can get, with how much GOT cut out/changed. Arya sailing, Bran and Sansa as Summer King and QITN, Cersei and Daenerys dead and Jon ending up far North is pretty much guaranteed to happen. It's just going to be set up very differently. Based on the theories, metas and speculations you have posted and reblogged, and the foreshadowing istumpysk highlighted in the reread project, I tried summarising what would likely happen in TWOW and ADOS.

Vale arc: Tourney starts, Brienne arrives and - similar to the tavern scene in the show - tries to get Alayne to leave with her but she refuses, Sansa (infamously) vows to become SS again and take back the North - which I feel like will be either because of her finding out about Jeyne/Arya or maybe something happening to Sweetrobin (he'll survive though), she'll then actively try to escape from LF. I think the Tourney will span several days and Harry dies relatively early, Shadrich tries something and Brienne possibly duels him, then the mountain clans attack and Sansa tries to negotiate w/ them/offer food, something goes wrong and she'll escape to the Wall with Brienne.

Stannis burns Shireen, possibly gets murdered by one of the Seaworths?

Because of his warging Jon doesn't really die, his body gets stored in the ice cells, he'll be "resurrected" (i'm unsure how), and he'll struggle with feeling and behaving like a human again. Him and Sansa reunite (I will die on the hill that the show got that thing right and they will be the first Starks to reunite), (possible Jonsa but they wont act out on feelings), and maybe also take back Winterfell w/ the Knights of the Vale (unpopular opinion apparently. But I think it would suck if Stannis were the one to take Winterfell).

Arya leaves the faceless men, meets Lady Stoneheart, possibly (😭) kills her, Nymeria (and Brynden?) free Edmure and Jeyne Westerling. I think, similar to Jon and Sansa being the mist distant Starks but the first Starks to reunite, it would be so interesting if the least Tully looking Starkling was the one who ends up reuniting with the Tully uncles.

Howland Reed and Robb's will arrive at WF, with Jon having to choose between being legitimised as a Stark but stealing his cousins' claim or having his true parentage be revealed

Cersei somehow gets rid of the faith. Tommen is foreshadowed to fall to his death and Myrcella likely dies as a consequence of the Dorne storyline. The Sand Snakes infiltrate Cersei's council.

The Greyjoys ally with Daenerys, Daenerys marries Euron?, kills Victarion? Victarion possibly dies because of that horn?

Aegon takes over Kings Landing, allies with the Riverlands, the Reach, Dorne (possibly marries Arianne?), + Golden Company

Cersei flees to Casterly Rock, Cersei as YMBQ, Jaime as Valonqar

Daenerys arrives, starts Dance 2.0 with Aegon, Aegon takes out or possibly claims one dragon, Tyrion ping pongs between both sides

Arya and Sansa are likely to be in conflict with one another at first (the letter Sansa wrote to Catelyn will likely be used - why else have Robb specificallypoint iut that he left it at home?), and perhaps the show was also right when it had them team up to take out LF (giant in a castle made of snow)

Jon goes South, possibly bonds with Aegon only to see him be taken out by their aunt, Daenerys burns down KL, Arya possibly takes out Daenerys

Bran makes some sort of deal to get rid of the Others, gives up his "powers" to atone for the actions of his ancestors, gets elected King by a council, takes ancestral seat in Harrenhaal

Arianne rules (a possibly independent?) Dorne, Asha as ruler of Iron Islands or whatever is left of its people/possibly displaced and being given land in the North?, Sansa as Lady/QITN, Jon as Lord of the Gift, Jonsa possibly left open ended, Arya sails across the world, Arya and or Brienne as independent agent(s) helping out people in need, Rickon dead (... or Bran's heir... or Septon or Maester...).

Tyrion either: Lannister heir (maybe? with his tongue cut out?) or sent to the Wall. Probably the former.

Like I said, this would definitely be in line with the show ending but unlike the show, here the characters actually would have full arcs and it would be bittersweet rather than just bitter. The dance 2.0 won't be a Jonerys romance and instead will mirror the conflict between Aegon and Rhaenyra, and Daenerys's arc will be tragic and fascinating and her death will be a mirror to Maegor and a direct consequence of what she does to the Smallfolk. All the Starklings (well.... we'll see about Rickon) are left alive, with important and fulfilling but challenging roles. They're all separated but they can and likely will reunite. All the big houses will be ruled by illegitimate children, women, and people with disabilities. No more ice threat and no more fire threat and largely no more real magic. No curtain of light, no YA team up, and a somewhat happy and satisfying and realistic end that includes an actually change to the status quo. It just makes so much sense!!! It feels so right!!!

Hi there! And sorry for the delay!

Isn't it SO satisfying when the books suddenly take on this coherent, stringent logic, all because of what jonsa represents? :)

I broadly agree with your predictions and timeline. I'm more of a jonsa optimist and truther, but otherwise... yeah, it just makes sense, doesn't it?

[grimmylover7]

Tag: 5 Songs: 3 Outfits

The lovely @skoll-sun-eater tagged me in this and it was way more difficult than I expected it to be!!??!

I'm not even sure who to tag so i'm just gonna throw some random @'s all over the place and if you see yourself pop up, and you've already done it, just tag me on that post. I'm an idiot XD

@duskvivie @thehautecouturewhore @capriskunk @imgnnafurgf

Rules: Post 5 songs associated with your OC(s), followed by 3 outfits they would wear.

First up:

Eden "Rook" Davis:

"Can't Tame Her" by Zara Larsson

"And you can't tie her down When the night comes around Said she gonna party all night (all night) And you can't change her Can't blame her, can't tame her Can't tame her magic energy She's so magnetic, pulls you in every time (every time)"

______________________________________________

Take Me Back To Eden by Sleep Token

"My, my, those eyes like fire I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre Come now, bite through these wires I'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired Reset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higher Grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire

I will travel far beyond the path of reason Take me back to Eden"

______________________________

Cherry Wine by Hozier

"Her fight and fury is fiery Oh but she loves Like sleep to the freezing Sweet and right and merciful I'm all but washed In the tide of her breathing

And it's worth it, it's divine I have this some of the time"

________________________________

FREAK by Demi Lovato

"Pinch me, singe me, inch me to the edge Prod me, laud me, ungodly but heaven sent

Get your tickets to the freak show, baby Step right up to watch the freak go crazy

I am what I am and what I am is a piece of meat Take a bite just to watch me bleed, freak"

____________________________________

Wasteland by Seether

"I remember the way you left me broken Don't shed a tear for me Nobody seems to be willing to save me from purgatory Nobody seems to be able to shed the treadwheel"

Outfit ideas/Inspiration (Not mine btw, all found on pinterest)

She prefers to cover up because of the scarring. Tight fit clothes if possible. Head to toe. Maybe bare arms but even that's pushing it. She likes rough material too, something to scratch at her skin to bring sensation back in places were nerve damage left her numb.

ALRIGHT NOW:

Victor Cain:

Just Pretend by Bad Omens

"I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend

I can wait for you at the bottom I can stay away if you want me to I can wait for years if I gotta Heaven knows I ain't getting over you I know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face And not a day goes by where I don't think I feel the same"

__________________________________________________

The Summoning by Sleep Token

"Oh, and my love Did I mistake you for a sign from God? Or are you really here to cut me off? Or maybe just to turn me on 'Cause these days I would be lying if I told you that I didn't wish that I could be your man"

__________________________________________________

Just A Cloud Away by Pharrell Williams

"So What? You've blown a fuse? Well that happens to us all. Well, I come with great news. The day could change, change, change, change. We've all, of course, been there before Been there, crying, fighting, the dark. Let good energy be your strong - Wont get away-way-way-way This rainy day is temporary."

____________________________________________

Lighthouse Keeper by Sam Smith

"Yeah, I see you looking, Looking for a sign Praying for a beacon, So here's the light My arms will be wide open For the moment you arrive, arrive When you set sail on your journey And happiness is far away Love will guide you 'til the morning Lead your heart down to the bay Don't resist the rain and storm I'll never leave you lost at sea"

_________________________________________

How Far We've Come by Matchbox Twenty

"I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world, But its feeling just like every other morning before, Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone,

Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end Oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend, Let's see how far we've come"

Outfit Ideas/Inspiration:

Victor is a layers kind of dude unless he's in gear. Then it's bulky enough for his tastes as is. He likes feeling weighted down. Definitely owns a weighted blanket somewhere lol

So yeah, here my Deputies, I hope this is informative to my precious babies in Chokehold because they are both dweebs and in need of loves <3 Thank @skoll-sun-eater for the tag!!!!

[irrigos]

OKAY im gonna talk about the thing in mask of the rose thats been consuming my thoughts. For people who might know the scene I'm talking about, it's something Ivy tells you, and the game keeps giving you options to stop the conversation because it is, genuinely, pretty disturbing. its got horror elements that have been in FL before, but never in this particular way, and as i said in my last post, seeing the content warnings will probably give away the broad strokes. im gonna put them in the tags, and hopefully if you have them filtered, then you wont see this at all? idk. i genuinely am sorry if you see this and didnt want to, but i have things i wanted to say about it

okay so in mask of the rose, Ivy gets really into doing Hallowmas stuff, accepting peoples confessions and secrets, and occasionally doing stuff to their memories (i think there was something in Zubmariner where theres a port made up of peoples regrets?? it might be connected to that, but i never played zumbariner. it might also be something Midnighter adjacent. or it might be its own thing!! i just dont know)

Ivy can tell you about a confession she received, which is incredibly disturbing. To make it quick: a womans child died, and times being hard as they are, she ate it. But then David returned from the dead fully intact, and everyone learned that death isnt permanent. Ivy had to remove this womans memory of what she'd done

like i said, while FL as a franchise has included (maybe too much?) cannibalism, and certainly a decent amount of child death, it's never been... like this before. it was disturbing in a way nothing else ever had been in any of the games

...so is it bad to say that i kinda liked it?

cannibalism has come up in fallen london often, but its usually kind of flippant about it imo. like, it's a thing that debauched rich people do sometimes, or starving zailors do, or deranged cultsits do, but not people like US. random women in london dont get that desperate!!! until they do.

and when cannibalism appears in the games, its usually written so... idk distantly? that i really never feel much of anything for it, except almost bored. most of the time when it shows up, im like "wow cannibalism. again. how original 🙄 pretty sure thats the only horrific twist fbg even knows exists". i dont think it's bad, the way its usually written. it's not like i even WANT ever lurid detail, and i think it would be pretty bad for me and for the writers to do that. but the side effect is that, for me personally anyway, it never really has the weight i think they probably want it to

but in mask of the rose? its a visual novel, so youre not given that same kind of distance you get in fallen london. it affected me in a way that other, similar horrific moments very much did not. I mean, i played all of seeking and i just thought it was boring for the most part!!!!

i also think it really gets at the horror of "you cant die in the neath". i mean, this woman did something horrible and taboo out of desperation, and then had to learn that it was also entirely unnecessary. she could have just waited! how could she possibly live with herself, having done this? but also she cant die! what option is there for her, other than to excise the memory entirely?

and also i think it emphasizes why cannibalism would be especially taboo and especially horrific in the neath. if death is rarely permanent, i would think defiling someones corpse would be seen as especially abhorrent

anyway. it was a moment of pure horror and i kind of liked that it was in the game. its a little tonally out of step with the rest of motr, tho, lol. but it kinda makes me wish theyd leaned more in on the horror of the fall. you as the player character want for very little, because you always have food and a place to sleep, and the Masters are (allegedly) organizing and distributing resources. but also... i mean clearly thats not benefitting everyone, and i think thats genuinely really interesting

.......... although i sure would like it if i could stop thinking about that scene lol. the game kept being like "you dont have to read this" and i did not listen. ain't that just the way!!!!

[thylalock]

By coming together, all of us, by pledging our solidarity, our friendship, we’ve made history. Back in our miners’ lodge, in Wales, we have a banner. And it’s old, it’s very old. Maybe 100 years. And it’s this: two hands together, joined like this. Well, I tell you now, you’ve worn our badge, “Coal Not Dole”, and when the time comes, you have my words on this, we will wear yours. Shoulder to shoulder. Hand to hand.

Favorite based / loosely based on actual events movies PRIDE (2014) dir. Matthew Warchus

[random-lil-illing]

Okay so I just got an ide for a ROTTMNT/TMNT 2012 crossover fanfic but I'm shit at writing so uhm here's the idea if anyone wants to write it. If you do write it please credit me/tag me/message me lol. You don't have to ask for permission just like, make sure I know about it/can read it thamks

Anyway, the actual idea is as follows:

Okay okay so it's set post-movie (like a few months later ) and everyone's recovering and healing their trauma and all that right? So they're all doing pretty ok but Leo's doing like worse than the others ptsd/mentally-wise and is very wary about like the concept of time/dimension travel.

So, Raph, Mikey and Donnie, being the good brothers they are, don't being up the topic around him, but they talk about it when he's not around cuz Donnie's making a multi-dimensional gun because since he's proved time travel, he also wants to prove dimensional travel.

Anyway so he finishes the gun, right? And so he takes his brothers (minus Leo) to test it out somewhere secluded. And it works!! And alternate veraions of him, his brothers, April, Splinter and even Casey (all 2012 mind you) come through the portal!! And everyones confused and excited so they introduce themselves and clear everything up and all that. So then the 2012 gang turn around to go home but the portal closed and the gun's not working for whatever reason. Shit.

Raph offers they stay with them, and then Mikey reminds them of Leo and everyone (-2012) is like 'Oh shit what are we gonna do'

And so they decide on a plan. The 2012 gang are going to stay in their lair until they find a way to send them back and tell Rise! Splinter about it, but make sure Rise! Leo, under NO CIRCUMSTANCE, finds out.

And the whole fanfic is them trying to navigate life while keeping the 2012 gang a secret from Rise Leo

In the end (think like a month more or less later) Leo finds out and freaks out but like a week later Rise Donnie sends them back to their universe so yeah. The Rise gang did get the 2012 gang's phone numbers tho so possible chatfic about that too??? Idk

Alyo since we're here basic headcannons about the Rise and 2012 gang!!

Rise:

Raph: -Oldest at 16 (I like to think the movie happened a year after the show)

-Genderqueer, He/She pronouns, any terms (Fem, Masc, GN), AMAB

-Likes women (technically not straight)

-anywhere between 6'10 and 7'5

-ADHD and Anxiety

-Mom friend/sibling

Donn: -Second oldest at 15

-Nonbinary, They/It/Tech, GN/Masc terms, AMAB

-Aroace or nblw (Non-Binary love women) can't decide

-6'4

-Autism and Social Anxiety

-Very sarcastic

Leon: -Second youngest at 15 (He's the younger twin)

-Transmasc, He/They and possibly Star/Starself, GN/Masc terms, AFAB

-Gay, the closet is made of glass (dating Usagi)

-6'2

-ADHD and Insomnia

-Flamboyant af

Mike: -Youngest at 14

-Genderfluid, if you don't know then use They/Pizza/Sparkle/Brush, terms depend on what they feel like that day but if you don't know use GN terms, AMAB

-Panromantic Ace

-5'10

-ADHD and a bit of Autism

-Therapist friend but at the same time unhinged friend

April: -19 y.o

-Female, She/They, Fem and GN terms, can’t decide whether AFAB or AMAB

-Lesbian, there was never a closet in the first place (dating Sunita and Cass)

-5’6

-Probably ADHD lol

-Chaotic big sister energy

Cass: -19

-Demigirl, Any pronouns, any terms, AFAB

-Lesbian (dating April and Sunita)

-5’8

-OCD and ADHD

-Unhinged and throws hands any chance she gets

Casey Jr: -14

-Questioning but definitely Masc, He/Him pronouns as of now, Masc/GN terms, AMAB

-Questioning but definitely Ace

-5’9

-ADHD and Anxiety

-Has like 3 moms and 2 dads

2012

Raphael: -Second oldest at 19

-Transmasc, He/Him, Masc terms, AFAB

-Straight (dating Mona Lisa)

-5’0

-Anger Issues with a side of OCD

-Angry tiny

Donnie: -Second youngest at 19 (they’re quadruplets)

-Non-Binary, They/He, GN terms, AMAB

-Bisexual (dating his Casey)

-5’6

-ADHD and OCD

-Wants to be unhinged but his Leo wont let him

Leo: -Oldest at 19

-Bigender, He/She/They, Any terms, AFAB

-Bisexual (And does NOT have a crush on Karai, it was gender envy)

-5’1

-ADHD

-Acts all serious infront of his Splinter but when he’s gone he’s more silly

Mikey: -Youngest at 19

-Genderfluid, if you dont know then They/Pizza pronouns and GN terms, AMAB

-Aroace

-4’9

-ADHD and Autism

-Chaotic af

April: -19

-Girl, She/Her and sometimes They/Them, Fem terms, AFAB

-Bisexual

-5’2

-Bit of Autism

-She’s either done with the Turtles’ shenanagins or she’s doing the shenanagins no inbetween

Casey: -20

-Transmasc, He/Him, Masc/GN terms, AFAB

-Bisexual (dating his Donnie)

-5’8

-ADHD

-Super chaotic lmao

I don’t have enough headcannons for the Splinters for them to have their own category but basically:

Gender/Pronouns: -Rise! Splinter - Man, He/Him, AMAB

2012! Splinter - Man, He/Him, AMAB

Sexualities: -Rise! Splinter - Bisexual

2012! Splinter - Straight

Heights: -Rise! Splinter - 3’5

2012! Splinter - 6’1

Anyway thats it lol, make sure to tell me where I can find your fic of this if you decide to write it (or any animations/drawings of it either) <3

peace y’all

[peterrparrkerr]

Stockholm syndrome - read on ao3

Tagging: @lokitonypeter @just-things-things @thegreenmetblue @someonepostedart @andacheesyoneliner @bluestarker @lilcoffeecup @useless-fanfictions-for-mcu @tnpt @sarcastich

Sorry, I meant to put this on a scheduled post and it posted anyway so I'm reuploading it.

*-*

Peter doesn't know what he expects when he walks into the interrogation room, but its not Tony Stark.

The man had been missing for over a year -his case now collecting dust with the other cold cases.

The man who once owned Stark Industries -the man who was nominated hottest man alive five years in a row, most eligible batchelor, billionaire playboy.

Peter has seen him on TV, had read the tabloids, the magazines. Tony Stark was worshipped by most, and many people claimed he was taking over the world with his high tech weapons.

The man Peter was looking at now was not that Tony Stark. This man was thin, malnourished, pale. His hair had grown out from an obvious at-home cut, his face scruffy with an unkempt beard.

He was wearing ratty jeans held up by a belt that looked ready to snap at any second, and a tshirt that looked like it hadn't been washed in years.

Peter didn't know what to do. What to say. He shut the door behind him, making his way over to the once-great man.

The man that had been missing for nearly two years.

"I'm detective Parker," Peter started, keeping his voice soft as he sat down in the chair opposite Tony, setting the file down in front of him.

The man didn't even acknowledge Peter. "I'm with the New York police department, I'm gonna be in charge of your interview. Can I get you anything to drink? Are you hungry?"

He waited for Tony to respond, but after a while it was clear he wouldn't.

"Can you tell me what happened the day you went missing?"

The man is hunched in on himself, looking down at the table between his wrists.

Peter sighed. "Hey, Tony, its alright now. You're safe here."

"M'not."

Peter almost missed the mumble. He sat up a little straighter, leaning into his elbows on the table.

"He's not going to get you here," Peter said, trying anything to get the man to open up to him.

"Yes," the man whispered. "Yes he is."

"I promise, he wont," Peter said. "You're safe here. No one will get you."

This time, the man lifts his eyes, looking at Peter with a desperate gleam.

"He's gonna come back for me," he said, voice gaining volume as his hands begin to shake. "He's coming for me."

Peter shakes his head. "He wont-"

"He promised!" Tony snapped, slamming a first onto the table. Peter jolts, eyes widening. "He promised he'd come back for me."

Tony's eyes fill with tears and he quickly wipes them from his cheeks as they fall.

"Tony," Peter said, feeling his chest tighten. "He's not going to come back for you."

Tony shook his head. "No, no, you're wrong. Beck-Beck told me he loved me. He told me- he's coming back for me."

"Tony, he didnt love you, he abducted you," Peter explained, voice soft with sympathy. "He left you. He's not coming back."

"He is," Tony says wetly, sniffling as tears flowed freely from his eyes. "Hes coming back, he told me he'd come back. He loves me. We're in love, can't- can't you see?"

Peter doesn't know what to do. He's never had a case involving stockholm syndrome before. But Tony's getting upset, and there's a strong chance he'll get violent.

Peter -thinking quick on his feet- decides to change tactics.

"I believe you," he says, watching as Tony settles at his words, blinking at Peter. "I believe you, Tony."

Peter glances down at the file in front of him before pulling out a sheet of blank paper and settling it on top of the closed folder.

"How about I help you find him," Peter suggests softly. "He probably doesn't know you're here, but I can go get him."

Tony glances around the interrogation room, realizing what Peter means.

"Yes, I want Beck," he says.

"Okay, good," Peter smiles. "I can go out and find him for you, and bring him here. Do you know where he lives?"

"He doesn't want anyone to know," Tony shakes his head. "He gets upset when people come to the door."

Peter nods, faking understanding. "Do you think if I told him I knew you, he'd come to the door?"

Tony seems to think for a moment before nodding. "Yes, he will," he says. "Beck is probably looking for me. He's probably so worried. I never leave the house. He's probably wondering where I am."

"Where do you two live?" Peter asked. "Do you know?"

Tears fill Tony's eyes as he shakes his head.

"Thats okay," Peter reassured. "He drove you, didn't he? You guys drove to the park, right?"

Tony nodded. "Yes," he said. "Beck wanted to have a special day."

"Good," Peter smiled. "Thats good. Do you know how long you drove for, before you got to the park?"

"I don't know."

"Thats alright," Peter said. "Do you know what kind of car he was driving? So I know if I see it?"

"Uh," Tony tapped his fingers against the metal table with anxiety. "Blue, and, and it was a truck."

"A blue truck," Peter repeated, writing it down. "Did it have a logo on the front? Maybe on the steering wheel?"

"I don't remember," Tony shakes his head, tears welling in his eyes again.

"Thats okay," Peter smiled. "You're doing great, Tony."

"I just- I just want Beck, please, I want to go home."

Peter feels his heart break at that, but he forces himself not to show it.

"I know," Peter nods. "I'm going to do everything I can to get him here, okay? I promise."

Tony gives a small nod, wiping at his eyes.

"What does he look like?" Peter continued. "I'll need to know who to look for."

"Uh, tall," Tony said. "Almost my height."

Peter gets a rough description of the man -Beck- from Tony. It takes lots of clarifying questions, but he gets enough to work with.

"Okay, thank you Tony," Peter smiles. "I'm going to have someone bring you some food and a blanket, okay?"

Tony looks up as Peter stands, tucking the file under his arm. "You're going to find Beck?"

"Yes," Peter nods, heading for the door. "You stay here, okay? Someone will be in soon with something to eat."

He shuts the door behind him and locks it before leaning his back against it, heaving a sigh.

"How'd it go in there?" Rogers asked, stepping over from the bullpen.

"He's bad," Peter sighs, stepping away from the door and running a hand through his hair. "I got a description of the man and the vehicle he was driving. I want to get a BOLO out on both."

Rogers nods, glancing at the door before following behind Peter.

"Do you still have the number of that psychologist? The one that works with victims of stockholm syndrome?"

"Yeah," Rogers nods, rifling through his desk as Peter drops into his chair. "You think the guy's sympathetic to his captor?"

"He's in love with him," Peter sighs, filling out a BOLO from his computer.

"Jeez," Rogers whistles.

"Give the psychologist a call, have her come over as soon as possible. The sooner we get Tony to realize what's wrong, the better. I'm going to work the streets, see if I can find this Beck guy."

"Sure," Rogers says, picking the phone up from the receiver and pinching it between his shoulder and ear as he types.

"And see if we can get him a sandwich or something," Peter said, already heading for the door.

[blooming-violets]

this could be totally something that you dont want to write which is totally fine as this is a pretty specific situation but im having a lot of anxiety because i was recently diagnosed with a chronic illness that really should have been diagnosed at least 15 years ago, im now going through hospital appointments and scans and its all so scary as what i have can be life threatening, i have a scan on tuesday which im nervous about and depending on the results of that i will possibly be needing a brain scan sooner than anticipated.it sounds so corny but having someone in my life that was supportive and understanding of the stress that this causes would be such a breath of fresh air. currently my mum is coming with me to my appointments despite me being 19 but she's very much in denial about the whole thing and wont talk about it. sounds cringe af but i want an irl peter parker to be there with me through it all.

Okay this message hit me really hard. I feel for you so much. When I was 16 I was diagnosed with cancer. It should have been an easy cancer to deal with (if you can call any cancer easy) but apparently I had been living with it since I was a toddler. Despite having random weird health issues all my life, it was never caught until I was 16. So it was in really late stages and I needed a lot of really invasive treatments for the next few years of my life. It's something that, at 30, I am still dealing with the lasting effects of all the treatments I had. I used so much music and books and shows and movies to help me escape. It helps so much to fall into your own imagination and fully embrace your fantasies during that time. I promise you, it is not at all cringe. If you have a comfort character, use them. Let them fill up all your thoughts until you've complete dissociated from all the medical shit going on around you. I used to walk through the hospital halls to whatever appointment I had and 100% imagined my favs being there with me. It's not weird. I mean, maybe it is, but being weird is a good thing.

If I can help in any way, I will! I'm absolutely going to write this. If you want I can add you to a tag list when I post it or I can just link it back to this message. I didn't want to wait to answer though because I feel very strongly about this and about people's comfort characters and using Peter to make someone feel less alone is my favorite thing.

I have to work until 7 tonight but when I get home, I'll start working on it right away! I'm pushing this one to the top of my list of works to complete.

I hope you get good news and I'll be thinking about you! If you ever need more Peter comfort, never be afraid to let me know, I'd be more than happy to write anything for you (or anyone).

[misterbitches]

i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

[the-official-matt-holt]

Hey, Matt! It's VoltronsPorch. About what time are we starting? (I'm so excited for the game. It's become the highlight of my week.)

Okay, so I made myself a bowl of ramen and was about to sit down and work on inputting some more cards when I saw the notification for this ask pop up on my phone. I saw a hey Matt and went, “Well, who could possibly want to ask me anything? I suck with asks.” And so I changed the tab while scooping up a little fork of ramen and I saw this and I was honestly so surprised that I forgot I was holding a fork and my ramen slid off of my fork and onto the floor. ಥ∀ಥ

Thank you so very much! I honestly am so happy that you like the Cah games I’ve been hosting!! Like honestly, this ask made me so happy!? I started to giggle and smile and just turn into a complete laughing loon. I’m quite proud of the deck that I built, I put a lot of work and creativity into it. And having people input thier own cards and just become a part of this thing that everyone seems to enjoy is honestly just so amazing?? And honestly, hearing you say that these games have become the highlight of your week made me so happy that I honestly cant aaaaaaaa! Thank you!! (｡◕‿◕｡✿)

And to answer your question, I think I may start it in about an hour or so, it depends. Cause I noticed that a lot of people who participate in these games are on a bit later, and I do know Shotor wont be able to get on tonight until about five hours later, so I’m just worried about If we have enough people for tonights game! But I do know that I may may start it earlier, I just need to spread word of tonights game around more!! So it honestly helps if people reblog the post I make about the game, or just show interest in it in general! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Tbh, I am always willing to start the game anytime, it just depends on who is on at the time and whos actually interested in playing. But aaaa! Thank you so much for this ask! I’m probably going to try and spread the word around more as soon as I finish inputting some more cards!! Plus, I’ve lowkey made it my goal to get the official Sven (I’m not gonna tag them I’m way too shy cause if they saw this or any of my cards I’d probably die.) to play one of my games, like, hes totally awesome and I honestly want to see his reaction to my cards omg. But thank you so much for this ask!! It made so happy so thank you so very much! I’ll see you in tonight’s game!!  ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

[drawinggheys]

yo, yo. I like your art, I myself am trying to get noticed on tumblr, hence why I'm asking you.. But nothing in my posts are showing up in tags, I can't even tag people (they won't get a notification) so I'm really getting frustrated. Did you ever experience it, and do you know how to fix it? It's okay if you don't tho

aw thank you anon ! and ahh i see. have you been tagging correctly? sometimes it does happen like that—a post not showing up on tags. try tagging correctly and if it still doesn’t work try again later? 

hmm could it be possible they blocked you? or maybe if you tag them, it gets buried in their notifications. i know cuz when ppl tag me i wont see em properly unless i self search myself sometimes. 

i wouldn’t know if this’ll work (hopefully) so sorry if it doesn’t 3 i hope u get to resolve this issue somehow ! all the luck to you !