#there's a nonzero chance that i'll be the only person doing this but at this point i'm so hyped that i'm not bothered

[brightaxe]

What began as a personal project of mine has spiraled into something way bigger and way more intense than I anticipated, so I figured I might offer it up to the Dragon Age fandom at large in case there was any interest in participating!

So, here's my idea for #VEILGUARD30:

Starting on October 1st and going day-by-day until right before Veilguard's launch on the 31st, this little event will begin! Whether you're inspired to write Dragon Age fic before the game's release or interested in developing your Rook, you're more than welcome to participate! And don't feel pressured to post every single day if that day's prompt doesn't appeal to you — this is meant to be engaged with to inspire you rather than bully you into writing every single day in October.

I posted this early to give everyone a running start, if they intend to participate or fish for curiosity and interest otherwise!

All sixty prompts are written down beneath the cut.

GENERAL WRITING PROMPTS.

Joining. Armor. Vhenadahl. Deep Roads. Bards. Carta. Dragon. Sovereigns. Potions. Orlais. Harrowing. Romance. Andraste. Campfire. Vallaslin. Lowtown. Mabari. Close Call. Elfroot. Demon or Spirit. Qunari. Templar. Halamshiral. Blood Magic. The Inquisition. Darkspawn. Dalish. Red Lyrium. Dreadwolf. The Veilguard.

ROOK DEVELOPMENT PROMPTS.

Name. Age. Race. Background. Class / Spec. Gender. Sexuality. Parentage. Siblings. Early Childhood. Adolescence. First Love. First Hate. Favorites. Injuries / Scars. Distinguishing Features Voice Type. Vices. Virtues. Homeland. Height / Build. Hair / Eye color. Personality. Aspirations. Fears. Hobbies. Views on Magic. Views on Elves.. Views on the Veilguard. Views on Solas.

[neuroticboyfriend]

How can I keep going? İts hard to survive. I wish I could have a better life.

I can only share what helps me, tho I will say I've had those exact thoughts before. But I'm doing my best to not worry about the future or ruminate on the past - constantly rerouting my attention onto something positive I can do in the present moment. I don't try to solve my whole life problem at once, because I can't. I'm just one person - not a superhuman or god. Getting better isn't a race.

Although I wouldn't be able to do this if I weren't working a recovery program and part of a loving community - I need to genuinely connect with people. It also wouldn't work if I wasnt willing to take action, even when I didn't see how things could get better at all. I've had to accept that there's a lot of things I don't know, and thats ok.

Like Idk if I'll get SSI. Idk when I'll move out, away from my abusive father. Idk if I'll get a diagnosis for my pain, let alone a treatment that works for me. Idk when I'll feel whole again and stop beating myself up to the extent I do today. Idk when I'll be truly engaged in my artistic passions again. Idk all these things, and sometimes it feels like I'm on a road to no where, and things are too hard so I'm doomed.

But I'm not doomed, and you're not doomed either. There are 8 billion of us human beings on a rock hurling through spacetime. There are so many possibilities on this planet alone and the odds that things will get better for us are much higher than we think. You never know who or what is gonna come into your life. This moment in time isn't the end all be all. As long as we're alive, there's a nonzero chance things get better.

[madamtrashbat]

The funniest thing in the world to me is that all of the rabid antisemites parading as pro-Palestinian protesters, enacting violence on Jews just for being Jews, are making a better argument for immigration to Israel than anything else.

At the slightest whiff of potential to "fight zionism" these people form a mob to harass, goad, and cause harm to any random Jew they see. They race each other to deface synagogues and scream at preschool-aged children about being war criminals. They become the writhing boogeyman that Jews have been on edge about for years.

And it has to have created, in the minds of plenty of people, the thought process of, "Fuck, man, we really aren't safe anywhere. The gentiles really will always hate us, we're a target no matter where we go. Maybe we ought to think about going to Israel. It's not perfect but at least it's wiling to protect us."

I have got to imagine that this has happened to at least one person during all of these violent acts. Someone finally saw enough and thought, "holy shit, fine, I'll go if you want me gone so bad, fuck this place, at least I know Israel wants me."

It's absurd to think the people doing all of this terrible work causing harm to Jews are doing anything for the betterment of Palestinians. Especially since there's a nonzero chance they've made some people decide that Israel is truly the only place they might be safe, or at least safer than where they are now.

Doing right by Palestinians is not helped by the specific violence towards Jewish people. It is hurt by it, every time.

[infernaltenor]

the third (and... maybe final?) niki shiina analysis

thats a lie there's a nonzero chance i'll do more <- i really like reading into his character

the focus of this is intended to be the foil relationship of niki and mayoi. this is something observable between all members of alkaloid and crazy:b, with clear distinctions between who is meant to be a foil/mirror of who: rinne and hiiro, kohaku and aira, himeru and tatsumi. while i would love to do a full in depth analysis of every member in this particular grouping, i've been avoiding any discussion of events that are out on jp but haven't been on en, if only because i want to experience the stories myself, which is why, for the time being, i'll be skipping the rest of the alkaloid and crazy:b units.

there's a second major factor as to why i'm focusing on niki and mayoi: they have the weakest link. that is to say, everyone else in the group has a clear connection in their pasts. niki and mayoi lack this. while you can extrapolate and make guesses (mayoi living in the basement of es and having a surprising amount of information in the building construction and hidden rooms; niki's father being kicked off the air in preference of idols; my conclusion here is that mayoi's parents probably run es and likely ran niki's off the air. is there proof? no. that's why i'm not counting it.), nothing for them is as explicitly stated as it is for the rest: rinne and hiiro through the nature of being brothers, kohaku and aira's childhood friendship online, whatever the hell is happening with himeru and tatsumi's complicated fucking relationship. niki and mayoi have... none of that. and arguably, that's a connection in and of itself, that they have no past in common, but given the care taken for the rest of the units it feels almost like an oversight.

no matter! i'm not here to discuss what ifs; i'm here to read far too much into the silly goofy character of what is otherwise an incredibly sad and tragic unit (despite their rather goofy construct) because i love him and need his depth to be at the front page rather than ostensibly passed over. enstars where's my niki shiina breakdow-

anyway. with that out of the way, let's start with the most basic parts! game design and character design. for game design, they also typically are in the same spot (spot 4 for the live mechanics), although i'm willing to ignore this due to the fact that kohaku and aira, as well as tatsumi and himeru, do not adhere to this particular criteria. niki and mayoi are the two characters within their unit that have long hair; niki's side ponytail and mayoi's side braid (hey where's the niki shiina hair down car-). interestingly, niki and mayoi's main hairstyles occupy opposite shoulders. while it's something that's easy to overlook, i'm counting it because it's something i think is also an easy way to put differences together, the same way color palette is. and for niki and mayoi, color palette isn't really a concern (the same dictates the rest of the crazy:b and alkaloid pairings, however), but niki's hair is more blue-toned, while mayoi's retains a level of red in his purple (shinobu's, for instance, is way cooler in tone).

but this is all superficial stuff. things you can simply observe. beyond the unspecified parents, where's the digging in way too much?

well.

crazy:b is a unit that is altogether kind of goofy, but the individual characters are by and large, tragic. niki shiina reads as an outlier to this specific set up.

alkaloid is a unit that is altogether serious down to their aesthetic, but the individual characters are largely kind of silly. mayoi ayase reads as an outlier to this specific set up.

as an author's note, right here in the middle of this analysis, i know both units are not so clear cut, and that you can see incredible amounts of angst and silliness in the characters i have decided not to focus on. why i am focusing on niki and mayoi is because of their decidedly obvious contrasting personalities to the larger construction of their unit. niki, more often than not, serves as the crazy:b character who has no indication of what is going on, not to mention how much his personality is driven by his own unspecified condition and his relation to food; mayoi is the alkaloid character who has such a clear indication of his tragedy, as opposed to hiiro and tatsumi, both of whom acknowledge it less, and aira, who does it moreso through inner monologues. i digress.

with both niki and mayoi serving as the contrasting element to their respective units, this does include that they are not always that contrasting element; think, whenever niki puts himself down or reads rinne like a book, or mayoi's clear serious relationship with teaching the other members of his unit.

another aspect that i think contributes to a foil relationship more than the mirroring is the opposite ways they talk about themselves and even moreso, how they think about themselves. niki, by and large, puts himself down as an idol; it's expected, especially since being an idol was never his intention (for fun and profit! and also rinne), so he tends to think of himself (frequently) as someone with less experience. while mayoi's full story (afaik) hasn't been touched on, he shows considerable knowledge to the background and teaching of idols (dropping notes in on unsuspecting juniors, teaching alkaloid the choreography throughout the main story, just to name some off the top of my head), even showing in some ways his mastery of the skills for being an idol. what mayoi lacks for in confidence of himself, he makes up for in being confident in his ability to guide others with advice and teaching. this places niki and mayoi in clear opposite corners of their idol positions. that being said, mayoi hardly does think himself an expert in the industry, but while niki recognizes himself as not being an idol expert, he does frequently call up his cooking expertise, something that cannot be overstated. just with these two skills you can see how niki and mayoi treat their own expertise: niki acknowledges his with frequency, mayoi tries to push people away from knowing his.

niki is a character that tries to stay silly on the surface. to be fair to crazy:b, rinne also attempts this. the difference is that rinne's silliness has been broken clearly before, notably in the main story for the game. niki's character, at the point that i'm writing this post, has not had such a break yet. another aspect of niki is he does try to stay as clueless as possible (try isn't quite the word i'm looking for; he seems genuinely uninterested in the politics of the idol world! this is something i count in contrast to his fellow unit members, as much of crazy:b is focused primarily on that political atmosphere). without such a drastic break, niki's character does read as one intending to be seen as a silly character.

mayoi's character, while being silly in his own over the top reactions to, well, everything (alkaloid and mayoi is bocchi the rock if btr was yaoi, but that's... that's a different post), is probably one i would argue meant to be taken much more seriously in alkaloid. for one, his character does frequently deal with intrusive thoughts, which imo makes his overall character feel more serious. another aspect of this matches him with tatsumi for overall being what i feel to be the more seriously read parts of the alkaloid unit, as tatsumi is shown to be levelheaded often; there are some clear breaks for this particular formula with tatsumi imo, for instance, both his driving and technology usage serve to lighten his character considerably. mayoi's character, i think, due to the heavy usage of self-deprecating language, is meant to be read much more seriously than he sometimes ends up being.

my conclusion is basically... well niki and mayoi occupy (what i think) is an interesting balance for the foil/mirror imagery of crazy:b and alkaloid. their unit structures and symbols, as well as intentions feed into this, as do their character pairs, but due to niki and mayoi's own (mostly) untouched connections, their place in the structure feels much harder to nail down. this doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but it does mean that i can (and more importantly) will tear into this gacha game like its a piece of literature.

[johannestevans]

Hey, I'm a big fan of your work and longtime follower, and I have a question re: navigating hookups while having Issues if you have the time and feel like you can answer (or want to toss it out to your followers.)

Basically, I have some pretty extensive csa trauma, and I haven't had a lot of sexual experience. I've been doing a lot of self-discovery lately and have been really intensely craving and fantasizing about getting to know and play with some cocks. I'm in the process of doing therapy for the trauma and extracting myself from a shitty relationship situation, and while I've had some fun exchanging pictures and videos online, I want to try dipping my toes into exploring irl hookups...

...but I'm not sure what the best way to navigate the potential trauma timebomb is! I genuinely don't know whether or not I'll end up getting triggered when I'm actually faced with a real cock in front of me, because I've never been in that situation as an adult. I'm not looking for another relationship, although I wouldn't mind an ongoing casual fooling-around-buddies type of thing. And while I'm okay with fantasy talk and exchanging pictures/videos, right now at least I'm not comfortable actually letting someone else touch/see my body when we're together - I pretty much just want to find someone who has a dick who is cool with letting me play with it for a while.

I'm not sure what the most, I guess, graceful way of communicating "I've had bad experiences in this area and I'm trying to experiment and really want to just touch someone's junk for a while without any reciprocation at all, but also I don't really know what I'm doing, and also there's a nonzero chance that trying might freak me the fuck out" - I have a pretty good idea of what I know are firm boundaries and where I suspect there could be problems, but I'm just not sure how to go about communicating it in a hookup app type environment without telling random strangers way more about my life and business than I want to.

So I was wondering, since you've also mentioned dealing with similar experiences if not having exactly the same type of issues bc of it, if you had any suggestions for when or how to bring it up in a way that communicates the necessary information without getting into the nitty-gritty details?

Honestly, Anon, I think you're overthinking it a little - you don't ever need to explain anything at all, let alone get into the details.

You don't even need to focus on not wanting to be touched - you can put the focus on wanting to touch and play with the other person without a need or desire for reciprocation.

Some people want to just show up and give someone a handjob or a blowjob with no reciprocation, and it's the most normal thing in the world - lesbians have stone butches, gay men absolutely have similar equivalents where like...

Someone might not want their dick touched because they have erectile dysfunction; they might be in a chastity cage, or have an agreement with partners or doms that they not be touched below the belt; they might be celibate, semi-celibate, or ace; they might be very sensitive and prone to premature ejaculation or immediate; they might be going somewhere else later and don't want to come too soon; they might be insecure about the size or shape of their genitalia; they might be poz or have lasting anxieties around HIV or other infections and thus prefer only giving oral without receiving anything or doing other forms of penetrative sex; they might, like you, be traumatised or otherwise touch-averse. They might just be in the mood to suck a dick!

I think your brain has jumped to the explanation part when like...

I don't think a lot of people would necessarily ask in the MLM cruising scene? Like.

If I've showed up and said, "listen, I just want to suck your dick then hit the bricks, that cool?", I doubt that you're gonna go, "Hey, why only the dicksucking? Why don't you want to do something else?" because like. We met up for the dicksucking thing, and I already said I didn't want to do anything else. People are generally chill with that because like I said, there's a million reasons why.

To use an example, like... I frequently tell hook-ups I'm not interested in kissing on the mouth, or that I don't like kissing on the mouth, which generally, I don't - I'm quite picky about it.

People have expressed disappointment when I've said I don't like it, or gone, "Aw, okay," or similar. No one, out of dozens of men, has ever asked me why I don't like it in response to the boundary as I set it - a few have asked about it after we're done, and it's always been in a casual way that's curious and just interested in what makes other people tick.

The thing about the MLM cruising scene is that a lot of us are having a lot of sex. We're having sex with different people, we're learning what we like and what we don't like and what our quirks are, and in the process of that you become quite comfortable setting boundaries or asking for the specifics you like without worrying so much about if they're odd or weird or esoteric to other people - not wanting to be touched reciprocally when you're just interested in dispensing a blowjob or playing about with a dick is barely odd at all in the scheme of things, and even if it were, a lot of people wouldn't necessarily ask the whys and reasons for it. They'd just say "yes" or "no" as to whether they want to be involved.

And same for tapping out, like... Any reason, at any time, you can just say, hey, sorry, I'm not feeling this, and head out. It happens all the time!

[practically-an-x-man]

ahhhhh fuck the anxiety might be winning this one boys

My joint issues are getting worse. My eyesight is getting worse. My fatigue is getting worse. I deal with constant microaggressions from my mother about everything from my job to my gender, while she in her mind still seems to think she's an incredibly supportive empathetic person. I'm only working four days a week and I still come home in pain and so exhausted I can't think and barely want to move. Pay is shit and it's supposed to be just a temporary job in the hopes and prayers that my "real job" will get an opening soon. Even if things go perfectly I'll be saving up to move out to the third most expensive city to pursue a career that's incredibly demanding, unstable, and is in constant danger of shrinking due to CGI and AI technology. Even if I made it into the industry, I'm afraid my body might not let me stay in it for long and I'll have to give up all of those ambitions. One of my favorite writers, one of the people whose work inspired me to start writing in the first place, is at best a creep and at worst a downright predator. I've hardly been able to work on my own writing and I feel like I'm letting people down because of it. I already live in a state where my existence is threatened and though I fully plan to do my part and vote, there's a decent chance that by January I'll be even more threatened. Hell, I might not even make it that far. I'm in a state with a lot of casual gun use. There's a nonzero chance I could be shot by one of his followers before we even get to the polls. Things could absolutely spiral out of control and even if they don't, even if every single thing in my life goes as smoothly as it possibly could, even if I get my dream job and make good money and don't have to live under a fascist tyrant... I'll still be tired and in pain because my body is broken and will only get worse from here. What the fuck do I even do. I know I can't let this existential dread win, I have to keep going because I have an audition next week and there's so much art I want to make and my pets rely on me so I can't leave them and so on, but I just wish I could see a future that I could just be happy with instead of having to prod myself forward like this.

And even writing this hurts me, because I try so hard to be this kind and supportive person and wallowing like this is neither kind nor supportive. I'm absolutely terrified, exhausted, and on top of that feeling guilty for even writing out these feelings.

Idk. I have work tomorrow. I'm going to bed.

[puppyluver256]

So discussing the NiGHTS mod of Pizza Tower--the fact that it even Exists, and looks pretty good from what I've seen as a person who only knows of Pizza Tower through seeing some gameplay footage and prolly won't play it themself whether vanilla or modded--with a friend got me musing that there could prolly be a similar Habit-themed reskin mod if the playerbases crossed over enough to make that happen. That made me remember seeing some fanart a while back, it had to be sometime last year because PT was released last year, of Peppino in Habit's office in the style of one of the level opening title cards. Don't remember the hypothetical title beyond "special guest Dr Habit", akin to how I'm assuming the level(s?) with Mort the Chicken is (are?) labeled.

Problem is, with Tumblr's infamously bad search function and google having gotten worse and worse on purpose in recent times, finding this is proving to be next to impossible.

I have tried several varieties of key words to try and find it, nothing so far. I've gotten plenty of fanart for both separately, an art of someone's BKMN OC in the PT style along with canon character Rarold (so there's the Limbo but without the Lane), and HABIT from EverymanHYBRID, which while that's not the first time that wire has crossed with SFM in fan works (hell, I did an art years ago of Boris kickin' HABIT in the face, the asshole deserves it don't even try and say he doesn't), that's obvs not what I'm looking for and the only reason that came up in the search besides sharing the doc's name was "pizza appears to be HABIT's favorite food" on the villain wiki page preview. Not to mention that there's a nonzero chance that either the person who drew this fanart deleted either it or their account orrrrrrr it maybe never existed in the first place and I false memory'd myself. But I somewhat doubt that the false memory idea is possible because I can picture it so clearly in my mind, as clearly as you can a memory of an image you saw in passing anyway (and I know I saw it on Tumblr if it's real), with Peppino strapped into the dentist chair and Habit looming over him, yannow, as you do when you're a 7'4'' dent-est about to make your smile bigger to cheer up the world at the cost of someone else's teeth and all. Standard stuff ;P

Anyone else know what I'm talking about? Anyone else seen this art, perhaps reblogged it a while back to make it easier to find? Hell, if we find it I'll give it a reblog myself, I may not be a PT fan myself (nothing against it aside from the fact I think playing it would give me a headache and stress me out, but that's a personal me thing) but I'd still want to do that much at least if I'm already trying my damnedest to find it for confirmation purposes.

[teleportationmagic]

batgirls salt below.

Weird feelings about this book ending. like, especially by the end there were aspects of it I was growing to like (I think the Steph writing now is a lot better, for instance) but at its heart, this book had three relationships it needed to get right, and I don't feel like it got any of them.

Like, where's the dysfunction? where's the struggle? Why do these three understand each other perfectly when they have a loooooong history of doing the exact opposite? I understand that this book was very much marketed at a younger audience, but these things are not irreconcilable. There is still interpersonal conflict in children's stories, trust me.

Also like. Cass. My sweetheart. I've said before that I don't know if a book with this tone can really support her and gosh, I think this has borne it out. Cass needs tough internal conflict, and it feels so often that she's lacking a lot of her interiority. Someone said that, especially by the end, it felt like she was Steph's asian friend and yeah. All of the threads of her conflict have been cut - pretty much the only challenge she ever has to contend with is Shiva? and even that wraps up by the end of that issue. The thing about Cass specifically is that the audience will not believe any physical threat to her, so it needs to be made up for with internal and interpersonal issues, and this book just. doesn't provide any of it.

It might seem like I'm harping on about dysfunction and yeah I kinda am but like. Conflict is a necessary drive for stories. And none of the villains in this connect with the Batgirls in any interesting ways (the closest they get is maybe Babs and Seer's half-respect thing? But that doesn't go anywhere.) so Steph's self esteem issues seem to be the biggest throughline and that's just not enough for even a purely Steph book, nevermind a book with all three of them.

IDK. It seems like Cass has better things in her future, and September solits haven't come out yet for Steph, so we'll see. I'm terribly optimistic about Steph's odds, and I'll be sad to see her relegated into cameos for a while, but she's always been a character who'd occupied that sort of drifting role so I think there's still a nonzero chance some good stories might be told with her. We'll see.

(Didn't mention Babs because I blame that one mostly on editorial - Babsgirl is going to suck. period. no matter what they do - she's been essentially re-branded into the girl one of the Batfamily, and that's not a character you can do anything with.)

EDIT: Just one thing I wanted to add. It boggles my mind that Steph dies in this book, but that carried nothing. No consequences, no shifts in character dynamics - like I'm not saying that they need to write her traumatized, but like. Cass and Babs should have Opinions on this! Steph should have feelings about this! The person this shakes most his Cluemaster himself, and that's stupid!!!

[mysterytournament]

imo I think you should just put the introductions in the poll posts, maybe under a read more if it gets too long. it'd save time, with not having to make separate intro posts before the actual tournament, and it'd be more convenient for the voters if all the information is in one place and we don't have to go jumping from post to post to see what each contestant is like

i've gotten suggestions like this in the comments of this poll as well (@clockworkspider @howlintherain @thewatchingblue @sherbetstudios hiii! and thank you for your input!) and... my initial plan was to post the introductions for each character with the descriptions more or less unedited (as in i'd only remove the names if they're still in the description somewhere, but otherwise the introduction post = whatever description for the character got submitted pretty much) and then have shorter descriptions in the polls themselves

this would serve two purposes: 1) the people who wanted to read a long description would be able to do so and 2) the people who super didn't want to read a long description wouldn't just pick the option with the shorter description (but of course every character would still be described in the poll post). also the poll posts would not be terribly long AND details about the characters would not be lost

however, it does complicate the posting of characters + you would have to click around to see more information about the character if you wanted to, i agree. (plus like. there's a nonzero chance -i- will end up being the person making the shorter descriptions for the characters that didn't have a tl;dr)

i'll make a poll asking about this! eventually. i'm sorry, the stuff i actually have to do sort of exploded in my face so i'm a little @_@ right now

[queenofbaws]

Now I know that we are both very much aware that I'm once again back on my outlast bullshit, but I've also decided (unfortunately for you dhdjdjdhd) that I don't want to be experiencing this alone. I'm dragging you back into this bloody hell hole with me so consider this a prompt for six sentences of whatever outlast inspired gruesome awfulness you want 🖤

"I'm just saying I see where they're coming from, that's all."

With the way the night had been going, Chris swore he could hear the tendons of his neck creaking as he turned towards Josh...and honestly, there was a nonzero chance him and Ashley could hear it too. "I-I-I know shit's been rough, the past few months, okay man, I...I know we've been through some fairly heinous shit, but I am going to need you to refrain from saying things like 'I think the guys eating corpses are onto something!'"

"Cochise, I hate to be the kind of guy that follows up a request with another request, but how about this...I'll take your suggestion under consideration if you consider this: Do you have reason to believe tearing into another person Buffalo Wild Wings style would be any worse than choking down the food they've been giving us since we got here?" Slowly his eyebrows went up and his hands went out, and if it hadn't been for the way they were all sopping wet with blood (theirs and others) in the middle of a courtyard where the main focal point was a water fixture running red with, you guessed it, more blood, for all the world they might've been having a normal conversation in Josh's living room.

Chris turned to Ashley, hoping - praying - for her to step in as the voice of reason, but as she sat on the edge of the fountain, one finger tracing abstract shapes in the clotting gore, her only response was a solemn, "He's got a point."

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

[grosutina]

Things are now out of my control (they're going okay so far I think) so all I can do is sit around and stew in all my personal shortcomings and the fact I haven't been exactly able to keep a truly close friend for longer than two years in my lifetime, how my personality makes me easily replaceable once the endless giving game runs out and I have nothing left to buy people with, and how two of of the only people I've met IRL who can handle me have a nonzero chance of ending up together and I don't want my jealousy to eat me alive if that happens because they won't be just mine anymore and I don't think I'll be able to cope with that

[throwrowrowrowyourboat]

Something I want to further add on the subject of mental health. I'll note here that I am not trans, but I am 19 and I am personally and intimately familiar with the kind of risk/reward calculations one has to do when dealing with mental health issues. Bear with me, I'm about to throw more statistics around.

According to page 115 of this pdf (https://www.transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/USTS-Full-Report-FINAL.PDF) people who detransition for issues of realizing that they actually didn't want transition is 0.4 percent. I promise this is relevant to the point I am about to make.

I have depression, and I am on Wellbutrin. I cannot be on Xoloft, or Prozac, or any other SSRI because I have a family history of bipolar disorder, and they can often induce manic episodes in people with a family history of bipolar disorder. Say what you will about depression (I'll sum it up: It sucks balls) but at least I'm not deluded to the point where I believe I'm Jesus reincarnated or think that the highway signs are spelling out messages only I can understand. And, if I'm lucky, I never will be.

But the thing about Wellbutrin is that, even though it has a much reduced risk of causing a manic episode, it does have a slightly greater than 1% risk of causing LITERAL FUCKING SEIZURES. This made me apprehensive to take the medicine, because my family knows a kid who passed out at the sight of blood, hit his head on a tile floor, and died. Hell, that could have been me that time I came down with a really bad flu and passed out in the bathroom if I hadn't called my parents for help the second I suspected I was passing out.

So, I'm a 19 year old taking medication that has a small but nonzero chance of KILLING ME. And I chose to take that risk because my depression was bad enough that I was failing to function in every aspect of my life. And, I don't know about you, but I think a risk of death is a pretty permanent risk to take. And I, a nineteen year old, took that decision and no one batted an eye, because I have a medical condition that was severe enough that it needed pills to treat, and the risk of adverse effects was minimal. It was understood to be the sensible thing to do, and I would have gotten many, many concerned lectures if I hadn't chosen to at least give the medication a shot.

But suddenly you have trans people, making decisions with less (medical) risk and with more evaluation and oversight than I ever had in my life (I only needed one visit to my general practitioner and six question questionnaire to get a prescription for these pills). Yet people are trying to legislate away trans people's right to medical care and it makes NO GODDAMN SENSE because mental illness doesn't wait until you're 18, or 21, or 25, or whatever arbitrary age you're "mentally developed enough" to make decisions. It just...happens. And when it happens you have to deal with it, and dealing with it sometimes means risking severe (and possibly permanent) negative effects. That's true of bipolar, that's true of depression, I'd bet that it's true of schizophrenia and OCD and every other mental illness under the sun we have medication for, and it's sure as hell true for gender dysphoria.

Like, god, we don't throw out Wellbutrin because some people get seizures. We don't throw out Prozac or Xoloft because it makes some people go manic. What we do is try to separate the ones that will have adverse reactions from the ones who won't and give everyone the treatment they need. And sometimes a small percentage people will slip through the cracks and end up worse, not better. But the solution isn't to put medical care behind an age restriction or throw it out entirely, it's to do more research and find out better ways of determining who needs what treatment to minimize risk.

If it were any other mental illness being legislated like this, and it were made illegal for people like me to have working antidepressants because of that 1% who got seizures, people would be raising absolute fucking HELL, but because trans people are so fucking stigmatized, at least twenty percent of the notes are cheering about this news even on this notoriously progressive hellsite.

TLDR; every medical intervention (for any mental illness) carries some risk of regret. Waiting until adulthood to get treatment because under eighteen-year-olds (or whatever age) aren't "mentally developed enough" to make medical decisions is absolutely fucking BONKERS. No one should have to stew in a goddamn mental illness for years until they get treatment.

Yes, all of the above applies as much to trans people as it does to depressed people as it does to bipolar people as it does to anyone who needs any medical intervention for mental health.

If you live in Alabama and you have a trans child age 19 or younger and they're receiving hormone therapy, get THE FUCK out now.

The state of Alabama has just made it a felony to give trans children ages 19 or younger hormone therapy or affirmation surgery.

Trans Lives Matter and stay safe.

-fae