#there's a metaphor in here somewhere i just dont know what

[nyabsolart]

>Begin Eidolonstuck

i thought a lot about these so im gonna explain them below the cut

[Original Prankster] by The Offspring. goofy for kiddo june, much like homestuck she has the most straightforward. Fun experience. if this were like, an "au" i imagine imps would just start showing up, shades slipping free from the undertow and completely overwhelming the planet with numbers. they would get popped into. eidolon grist. by errant anvils, tripwires, and all manner of cream pies. the song is upbeat, catchy, and fun. the body is made out of a ghostbusters statuette :3

[Body]

by Mother Mother. it is chaotic, nonsensical, and confusing. why does this represent her soul? very light and rain. its designed to confuse and frustrate her. light into dark magic is pretty grimdark-y. she can direct her eidolon with the wands, causing it to shine a black light from its chest. design notes are the princess hat like jaspersprite, the needlewands, and just a fun fact but the legs are a vector of a slot machine handle

[Die Anywhere Else]

from Night in the Woods. this ones one of my favorites, die anywhere else as a power for dave rules to me. not to suck my own dick but like. yeah thats what he does! the power allows him to postpone death, not prevent it. one more hour, one more dave, die somewhere else, not here.

[Friends With You]

by The Scary Jokes. another favorite! jade probably gets her eidolon way before everyone else, but i dont think shes a veteran. she just peers through the scope and watches from afar. its cool how the only way she can interact with her friends is through the barrel of a gun! you figure out the implications of this

--------

[I Remember It]

by someone on twitter idk search it on youtube. Funny song, funny guy! song is about doug walker taking on the burden of every nightmare, remembering it so you dont have to. davesprite remembers and changes it so it never happened. not really sure how the sprited players fit into this, i guess they split off from the main eidolon? but yeah davesprite remains super fucked up and came back to fix things.

[Dog Days Are Over]

by Mitski. vibe of the song should be obvious, this was on allll the sadstuck jade playlists back in the day. she focuses on the only thing that matters, keeping her friends safe

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[Burning Down The House]

by The Talking Heads. aha bdth reference. this is a pretty straightforward retcon thing so i dont have much to say about it not from the comic, though it looks cool. shed have to like, realize something latent within herself and then her dinky eidolon would grow into the House, and shed need to climb the steps and enter the door. pacing wise i think she should have gotten a new eidolon when she god tiered as well, so i guess it MIGHT not be dinky, but cmon we know june, it is. its some vrillyhoo shit. the songs vibe fits with Original Prankster, and with june, i think. art notes: the texture in the cuts of the House are purple meat, and theres lava under the foundation

[Same Bones New Body]

by The Variants. boom. body upgraded into this, its a great naming scheme. Body gets melted down in the green sun and is reconstructed into this, still a confusing amalgamation but with more purpose. the abilities are obviously seer of light stuff and once again read the comic for info on that. my fun fact is my best friends sister had a falling out with someone in this very small band, which i didnt know before listening to them

[One More Time]

by Daft Punk. big fan of the band here. i mean im not a daft punk fan, but in this context. something about it is like. dave chill the fuck out, have some fun! which feels like a thing the sburbian universe would force on him. relax, take it less seriously! heres a strong as fuck metal beast to punch your enemies out of time. it has a similar shape to his og eidolon but its built of different parts. a metaphor?

[Hollow Moon (Bad Wolf)]

by AWOLNATION. sacrifice into change is crazy for jade, the universe reallyyy hates her. loneliest girl in the world shit. it pretty much sums her up, when she meets up with her friends her old eidolon isnt as useful. now she gives up parts of herself until theres nothing left. one of the bigger visual departures from her first eidolon, its probably completely destroyed and out of it comes this and Dog Days

thanks for reading to the end :3

[placiotrash]

A shared meal

I tried to do something different with the backround this time. It's a bit unpolished, but I knew i couldn't spend more time on this or i'd get tunnel vision and never finish.

[chaamenos]

𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑. disjointed caleb lads character study. i need to test how i’m gonna write this guy

warnings: uhhhh smth smth there’s a cannibalism metaphor in here somewhere. also there’s intentional lowercase . pseudocest (like one like mentioning that you two are siblings). this is written on mobile. anyways i really dont even know what to tag this with so go in here expecting some weird shit.

a/n: caleb is so. boy what strand of cocaine did they put it you. anyways, this is meant to be read within the context of the main story (homecoming voyage chapter 1), so not with any of the relationship establishment his cards and myth give

dividers by @/fairytopea

𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐑𝐘. caleb believed himself to be a good child. athletic , good grades, never late, easily made friends. but something always felt… off, when it came to you. a feeling that made his hands twitch, and his body grow cold. though constantly pushed it back as just stress. being an older sibling is difficult, especially with a family with such messed up backgrounds like yours. hormones will mess with a teenager, this is normal. . .

but no matter how often, or how hard he drowned out that part of his brain, it never went away. the part that had him wanting to put his hands on you. dig his nails in until the skin breaks, sink his teeth in and swallow you whole. to clip your wings and have you rely on him forever, to be a part of him until the world ceases to exist.

it was horrifying how the brain can twist things into explicit images. spooked him enough that he made it a point to always be extra nice to you. of course, he was always nice to you, but a little extra doting wouldn’t hurt. he didn’t mind letting you get away with anything, covering up for your misbehaviour, spoiling you rotten. perhaps if he was nice enough, he can fool you into ignoring the obvious issues and thoughts that threatened to consume him from the inside out.

𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆. farspace fleet duties were incredibly mundane in its rotation, and exact in its time slots. meetings never go above 3600 seconds, mission reports never longer than 1800.

expressions and responses also fell into his calculated routine. smile for no more than five seconds, crinkle your eyes to make it authentic, don’t hold eye contact for too long lest you put them off.

it was all tiring, and boring. not at all the life he envisioned for himself as a child.

he could feel his hands twitching, fleeting flashes of you dancing across his vision.

now that he’s an adult, he’s no stranger to this obsession that erodes people from the inside out. an indescribable hunger that drives one made. he’s no different from a wanderer, in that aspect. The only difference being he’s capable of controlling himself.

. . .

At least, to a degree.

𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆. when he sees you again, it’s like being pricked with billions of needles. he couldn’t tell if it was the year he spent away from you, supposedly dead— or if it was the toring chip rewiring his brain, amplifying every feeling tenfold. for the moment he saw you on that landing pad, it took every fibre of his being to not tear you to shreds, and make his home inside you.

it has been approximately 31,816,800 seconds since he’d last seen you, let alone be in your presence. getting both in the same moment was almost too much for him.

but he refrained. this was business, not pleasure. you both are strangers at this moment.

. . .

he was plagued by sleeplessness the moment he’d let you into his home. sweaty palms, a visceral emotion that had his fingernails digging into his now mechanical arm. the both of you were adults now, but that didn’t make his feelings any less potent. in fact, it made them worse.

you were just a room away, so easy for him to have his way with. to intertwine the two of you in ways he’d never even thought of. it was forbidden, and depraved.

hands covered his face, nearly tearing the hairs from his scalp

. . .

you were driving him insane in ways he didn’t know how to deal with

[yakumtsaki]

Spice and Cyan are the last cousin-fuckers left standing and are proving impossible to break up. I'm inclined to blame the fact Sugar and June also had the hots for each other and passed these destructive genes on to these losers but whatever it is they're just annoyingly into each other.

Now I'm not gonna lie, I did almost waver cause I was like 'man you know what they're second cousins so at the end of the day truly who cares, maybe I should just let them stay together and create one Union super-bebe'.. and then I see this:

In case you can't tell from this amazing screenshot they have ONE BOLT. ONE. ALL THIS DRAMA OVER ONE BOLT ARE YOU KIDDING ME

-What is drama compared to someone you almost desire? -Oh baby, the mediocrity of my passion for you is too much to bear!

-This lukewarm hot tub water is the perfect metaphor for our love.. -Exactly, it's the water of the womb and we all know that's where that sole bolt is even coming from!

UGH. Also man the difference between your noses is UNREAL, now I'm more worried about that if you procreate than the incest.

-Hahahaha, as expected I'm the only one of this trash family that's in a non-disgusting relationship!

Felina no offense but you could afford to add some drama cause you've become boring af.

-People are sick of all this perverted nonsense! They want someone dignified and happily monogamous!

Ya idk sis, I mean look at Barth dislocating his entire spine as we speak:

-I SENSE BETRAYAL AGAIN. WHO DARES CHEAT ON ME NOW

-JIMMY, BACK IN THE ARMS OF MY COUSIN THAT I RIGHTFULLY STOLE YOU FROM. AND TO THINK I WAS GONNA MARRY YOU WHEN I WON THE HEIRSHIP

-You were??

-OF COURSE NOT

Bro I can't, the entire house hates Barth other than Meadow and her billion nice points and Spice who is his childhood bestie. Note that he and Sunset have that goddamn amour fou and are independently becoming un-enemies, which I'm NOT GONNA LET HAPPEN.

-Ok Barth, let's get drunk and make some reckless and sexy decisions!

SUNSET GODDAMMIT IT

-Why do you keep cockblocking us? You know our kids would be hot!

I DONT CARE

-Ya right! Don't act like you haven't thought about it!

IM NOT LISTENING TO THIS

-You know we would produce a hot, psycho turbo-Union! A little Jojo or Jojette, untainted by non-Union DNA, one freakshow to rule them all!! Look into your heart, you know it to be true!!!

ENOUGH, STOP TRYING TO SEDUCE ME WITH THE PROMISE OF COMICALLY INSANE OFFSPRING, SUNSET. EVERYONE FUCK OFF TO BED RIGHT NOW, GOODNIGHT

-AND GOOD MORNING, LOSERS

WTF. Why are you here we've paid our bills!

-BUT YOU HAVEN'T PAID THE INCEST TAX

-OMG THERE'S A FIRE🌞

-OMG THE REPOMAN IS HERE TO TAKE OUR SHIT

-OMG THE STREAKER KILLED OUR FISH

What??

-I JUST DON'T WANNA ADMIT IM STILL CRYING OVER BARTHOLOMEW

NOOOO NOT OUR BEAR STATUE WE'VE HAD IT SINCE GENERATION 1! PLEASE JUST TAKE ONE OF THE KIDS INSTEAD

-YOU SHOULD HAVE PAID YOUR BILLS

WE FUCKING DID

-PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU FLOPS

FUCK YOU, REPOMAN, WE'RE NOT FLOPS

-WAAAAAAAAH I CAN'T BELIEVE HE TOOK OUR BEAR

Oh great, now half these flops are in aspiration failure, that's just what the doctor ordered.

-OMG AND NOW THE OTHER PLANT IS ON FIRE

BRO WTF IS HAPPENING WE'RE CURSED

-WE ARE AND WE ALL KNOW WHO'S TO BLAME

-HE'S BEEN BAD LUCK SINCE HE WAS BORN

-Can you harpies take this somewhere else, I'm trying to get high here!

-KILL HIM

OK NO. No one's killing anyone, we're NOT cursed, ok?

-We're broke, afflicted with a bills glitch, fires keep starting and half the house is in aspiration failure!

Well let's be real, the broke part is on you.

-US??

You idiots are averaging a D each semester because you're too busy fucking each other, beating each other up or both..

..I mean freaking Jimmy is on academic probation, I have never gotten this before in all the years I've played this game, this is the worst college run of all time.

-WHAT IS YOUR POINT

My point is the bar is in hell so let's just get out of this run alive, ok? Now you kids make nice!

-Well, Failina, now that I'm looking at you up close I guess putting lipstick on a pig does work sometimes.

-For my next move, I'll shove my queen in your other eyehole.

See, now isn't this nice? And I think I figured out what caused the bills thing so everything should be fine now..

-THINK AGAIN BITCH

OH FFS

-I'M HERE TO FREE THIS NEIGHBORHOOD FROM YOUR TERRIBLE SPOKEN WORD POETRY

Ok you know what I'm actually fine with that one, take it- Um do I hear hearts??

UH WHAT????

-THAT'S RIGHT IM IN LOVE WITH KEA FOR NO CLEAR REASON

WTF

-We've been friends for a long time-

You have?? Man I really need to pay more attention around here.

-Yes well you can't help being useless!

Very true! Well please, continue, let me just call someone over-

-YOU LEFT THE HOT TUB OF LUKEWARM LOVE TO CHEAT ON ME???

Man I know, it's so terrible! Anyway-

-HOW DARE YOU BE UPSET WITH ME FOR CHEATING ON YOU

CYAN WTF LOL

-YASSSS BEAT HIS ASS UP BABE HE DESERVES IT

DOES HE?? Cyan you are one crazy bitch, I love it.

-I take after my mom! :D

Which one, they're both insane! :D

-What's it take to get your number? What's it take to bring you home? Hurry up, it's time for supper, order up, I'm hot to go🎵

Alright well Chapell karaoke seals it, Kea, welcome to the family!

-You mean it this time right, you won't fuck me over again like when I was engaged to Sophito?

LOL I forgot about that but no I'm certain this one is gonna work out, unless crazy ass Cyan goes back to one of her cousins

-What?

I said start planning the wedding!

[coniangray]

St5 teaser breakdown

(cus im bored) (spoilers, duh....i think)

All these clips are from the first 2 eps cus ofc they wont wanna spoil more that early into production. Like imagine if this felt too much of a sneak peak, the season is gonna be HUGE and this will feel like the 0.00001% of what it actually is lmao.

The school scenes:

i think first scenes, all from episode one.

The boys will catch a signal from the radio the night prior, paralleling s2e1

but this time either will lives with the wheelers or hes at the radio station and they contact from there.

the signal might be near a military base OR

its henrys signal that needs decoding excactly like the scoop troops did in st3.

So, the dynamics here are gonna be reminicent of both s2 and s3e2.

some quotes like "what are you doing on this channel again" and ''I cracked it", "cracked what?","I cracked the code" are also gonna make the cut. This scene will be paralelled with either mike or dustin, since these two were the brain of the party.

BONUS:

And what did robin also figure out in s4? Oh, wait-

I dont actually know what this code is, but i know it needs all four of them to solve it. And what if, in the background of the signal they catch up on little dream of me playing in the background?

The daisy song being broadcasted was accidental; the russians werent planning on including it there or they just did it as a distraction (they might have recorded the code within the crowd of the mall in brought daylight.) So what if the music, even if there is one at the background, is accidental too? After all, this song is mentioned as victors safe space because he called ella fitzgerald an angel, not henrys.

It all has to do with vecna at the end of the day, given how will touches his neck and feels him. This is an early sign of the symptoms, given how later, after school, they grow bigger and wider, giving will his first vision of the day:

And i dont even need to tell yall what this scene paralels lol

same table, but not same tree.

The code solving talk still continues here, because of how convenient it is to have will see the clock, zone out, walk towards it while the rest of the group talks about vecna and him capturing his victims in manipulative ways. In this scene they will bring up metaphors and allegories, just like they did with chrissy and eddie "do you ever feel like youre losing your mind?","i feel like im going crazy right now, doing a deal with the queen of hawkins high".

Also, like eddie said, this place promises safety because no o ne ever goes out there. SO, my bet is, mike chose they go there since eddie mustve told him right before he died.

bet hell say sth between the lines of "We have to go somewhere private. Somewhere no one can hear us." and thatll be most likely during lunch.

And thats where the bullies come in.

In order to continue their scenes out there, they mustve been interrupted by andy and jasons squad, and teased as to what they were doing with the radio on the table, given the leaks we got back in january or mike and dustin being followed by them.

no i have a feeling that during this arguement (after lunch and before the table scene), andy will attack mike and dustin and will will hopefully give a punch, paraleling el and angela in s4 and joyce in s3. This is my guess here, but i hope its true cus poor boy needs to throw hands with sb.

Spoiler alert it might not happen that day cus all of them are safe and sound without a scratch in the table woods scene.

After the woods scene, dustin visits eddied grave with his bike, which vandalized to the gods and guess who did it; thats right the bullies.

which will probably paralel maxs scene on billys grave

I wanna believe we get a heartfelt speech about his and mikes relationship with eddie, warming the ground for more eddie flashbacks to come. No, he wont get vecnad here, but rather found and beaten up by andi and the bullies, cus he was seen with a bruised face later on

and yes, the projector scene is also from the same day.

Another interesting thing to point out here is how the duffers said that our characters will start the season in action, so all the el scenes fighting vecna in the upside down and all the lights flickering, theyre all from the first 2 episodes.

After school and after the graveyard, with propably a few new scenes taking place in the middle, they all go to the new station set, and as it seems the byers are doing a presentation??

Probably from their experience in the uspide down, or most likely explaining sth about vecnas connection.

Orrr its a group thing, idk.

The thing is, dustin is beaten up standing next to steve. My bets are that hell notice dustin is hurt and make a huge deal about it, argue with the party on why he was found like that in the first place.

This would also be a chance to bring up the dynamics from the previous seasons and their flaws, aka dustin being with steve more time than he was with the party or others.

The thing is, in the same scene we see this;

M4tt showing n0ah how to choke.

Things most likely get heated in this scene, and that triggers wills connection with vecna. The mindflayer activates, and he becomes like billy.

And who else flayed choked sb else prior to this?

LETS GO BABY WE ROLL !!

Will will attack someone, most likely steve, cus he was also shown beaten up later in the teaser, especially in the car scene with nancy n johnathan.

Which leads us to this leak;

Its night, right outside the radio station. My guess is that steve tries to escape but part of him stays cus hell its will that attacks, that boy is harmless, right? While will is just there, chocking him and bagginf him to run.

Its the perfect lead up imo; first he feels the mf getting closer, then he has the vision and then he gets activated.

i feel like this is the cliffhanger between e1 and e2, since it would be perfect to have us waiting for steves safety and wills sanity for the next episode.

Bonus bonus;

Nancys Candy striper outfit

Going undercover in ep 1 was not on mybingo card, so im guessing shes an actual vollunteer at the hospital, because shed have to gain trust in order to sneak in and steal files.

but then again, why from tyhe hospital? all this place has ws maxs condition, which was already known to her and the rest of the team.

Involving her with such type of environment is simply to create more paraelels from the hmh scenes in s3.

Now, we also got this leak from april, and its most likely for ep4

the vollunteer is obviously nancy, but for her to return to that outfit, shell have to wear it again. So that means what i said, she became a vollunteer to gain trust and steal the proper files from the turnbows mansion thats connected to the lab.

Wills outfit also indicates its from a later episode.

As for the hopper scenes, idk a lot to break it down. And for el, this must be in ep 1 since this is unfinished bussiness from the piggyback if u nthink abt it

Thats it, hope you enjoyed my brain fart and i hope im right.

[infernothechaosgod]

One thing imma be real one thing i don't like about some mouseverse comics is that some characters just straight up look so human, and honestly I think that theres some good missed potential with some of them like the phantom blot la creatura

Before I got into the comics for good I thought the phantom blot was suppoust to be a human and that was one of the reasons why he freaked mickey out so much bc he's just straight up activating his uncanny valley/ is somewhere where he's just straight up not suppoust to be so he doesnt look like anything mickey's seen yet but apparently he's suppoust to be a dog

I think blots design is very good without his mask he looks like one of these rich people way over their head (its bc of the mustache, brows and half closed eyes half of the time im telling you he looks like he has 500$ of spare change in his pocket at all times )

(He'd rob me out of my money on etsy)

But blots design really doesnt look like a dog and I honestly think for him thats a strenght for a couple of reasons I dont wanna fully write out here bc id be getting into character design study for like 4 pager out here but the main point is Blot is the villian and a well masked one on top of that his design being highly diffrent from others is a good thing bc he's already not like others he stands out and he's evil and he's suppoust to be creepy so I think not really looking like a dog despite teachnicly being one has its purpose and even metaphor to it if you wanna go that route (maybe bc he views himself so above everyone and so humanized compared to them that he ends up sticking out, because he is so above them he's no longer one of them and its visible in his design)

But the points above start to fall flat and explode like a comicly large firework when you consider eeeeeh

All these are background/one off characters so I understand why the designs arent exactly thought out on the same level as main characters that would honestly be ridiculous but some of them just don't look like any animals and some straight up look like humans with slightly altered face structure

And that unfortunately also goes for my best girl samantha

ily but you do not look like a dog girl T T

When I was first reading that comic i thought she got the "kitty kat" treatment but turns out its just a thing for one off/side characters

Also there are some alternative designs for already existing characters that look more human in animation that arent used for some reason probably bc the animation and comic departaments being quite diffrent and also having a giant brick ball between eachother or disney just refusing to re-brand or re-design things that are already somehow well known

Comic o'hara design ^^^

Animated o'hara design ^^^

There very slightly diffrent but I can easily tell animated o'hara is a dog while the comic ver had me a bit confused (especialy since I didnt see the ears at first)

Also o'charas first apperance IN COMIC FORM looks alot more charming to me for some reason, the same goes for other police officers

he's so fat here I love it

They look alot cuter that way imo I like their snouts alot more in that form Plus they do the side eye every dog ever gives you at some point you know exactly what im talking about 🫵🫵🫵🫵

I dont know it could just be me being picky but I feel like there would be some ways of making the side characters look more animal but still easy to draw and design, maybe something like character base's for diffrent animal species that can get altered for diffrent one off/side characters...or giving the comic artist more time to do their job crazy idea i know

Idk like i said it could just be me being picky but I just don't like that and think there are some ways to change that

This is just my opinion and rambling though so lemme know what you think maybe im missing something or you preffer them that way Id love to hear others opinion since I know there are ppl out there who put alot more thinking abt the mouseverse than i did and probably ever will

ye

[twoa-plus]

dissecting stanford pines and finding organs that don’t exist but like in a metaphorical way

that’s it that’s the title i’m going with. this is a long one folks o7

most of this isn’t sourced or canon at all it’s just personal interpretation/headcanon/whatever else u wanna call it, but!! since more people are seeing my deranged gravity falls ramblings now i figure i should probably give some perspective as to why i like/defend ford as much as i do

(in my other gf posts i do try to stick to canon to back up whatever point i’m making - this is just about my personal opinion of ford as a character, and should be able to be thrown out in regards to my other posts)

so for some background/setup/whatever (it’s important i promise bear with me), different people have different instinctual responses to anxiety/stress. i come from a family (genetics are fun) where the default response is to start (metaphorically ofc) biting and hissing like a cornered animal. this doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any actual hatred or malice or anything towards the people that end up getting scratched - they might just be at the wrong place at the wrong time, they might’ve done something super minor and insignificant that added on to a preexisting pile of stress, etc etc

i cannot stress enough that i am not saying this is ok. you dont need me to tell you that hurting people who don’t deserve it is a bad thing, lol. what i am saying though is that sometimes people can kind of suck for reasons other than just genuinely wanting everyone around them to be miserable

this is the last “background” part i swear BUT another thing thats less genetic and more just me being weird is that i’m the type of person where like. any minor environmental change can really stress me out lol. like even just reorganizing my desk can be pretty emotionally taxing

SO. finally back on topic. stanford pines. i see a lot of the behavior/patterns i just described in him. like i’ve spent my entire life around people like this, and while i understand why a lot of people see him as just some asshole, i can’t help but see him as a guy who’s just kinda going through it lol

just talking about the more recent events as of the series, he’s just spent 30 years god knows where doing and seeing god knows what, he has an abusive ex who wants to murder him and his entire family (plus the whole dimension, really), and in the three decades he’s been gone the entire world - including his own house - has changed and left him behind. add onto that that he went missing in 1982, way before we had all of the emotional/mental health resources we have now, we all saw what the stans’ childhood was like, and that ford is terrible with people - including, imo, himself. if there’s anybody out there who would have Feelings and not understand what they are or where they’re coming from or what to do about them, it’s this guy

this entire setup is the perfect circumstance for fear and anxiety and stress and uncertainty to all get translated into anger. a really big example of this, to me, is how he talks about dipper in journal 3. i’ve talked about this before somewhere so i’ll try to summarize as fast as i can lol

reading his initial entry about dipper would make u think he like. hates this kid lol. but i really don’t think he ever did - he was really excited to meet the kids in the show and already seemed to care about them just by virtue of existing, and his opinion on dipper in journal 3 seems to do a complete 180 pretty quickly which ,,, doesn’t really fit ford as a character. like i love the man but that guy can hold a GRUDGE

here’s how it reads to me:

ford gets back to his home dimension after 30 years and everything is different

he’s subconsciously kind of struggling with the fact that he doesn’t really have a “home” anymore - the sense of familiarity and comfort that would normally come with the word is gone. (i specify that it’s subconscious because, like i said earlier, i do not get the vibe that he’s particularly aware of his own emotions)

he finds out that journal 3 - something he made with his own two hands and considers part of his life’s work - has also changed in the decades he’s been gone. this adds to the feeling of unfamiliarity with the world around him

it’s easier to blame that “final straw” and say that he’s just upset about his work being tampered with rather than address the actual root of the problem, so that’s exactly what he does. this still doesn’t mean that there’s any genuine hatred towards dipper. anger in the moment, yeah, but not hatred

again, this is entirely personal interpretation, and i completely understand if u don’t see it like this!! this is just a pattern of thoughts/behavior that i’m very familiar with, so it’s easy for me to apply it to situations like this even if it’s not really part of the canon

i also think there’s a big problem in this fandom with just ,, not seeing ford as a Person with Emotions? idk how to explain it but it feels like people expect him to always know exactly what to do in every situation just bc he’s old and academically smart. like whenever another character does something objectively bad it’s “well there were extenuating circumstances,” (which is usually true and i agree !!) but ford never really seems to get that treatment. if he does something bad it’s just because he sucks

a big example of this i think is the fight between him and stan (y’know the “you ruined my life”/“you ruined your own life”). you cannot look me dead in the eyes and, in full seriousness, with the context of everything ford was going through with bill at the time, say that he was fully mentally/emotionally stable during that conversation. “oh so you’re blaming stan-“ NO!!! stan was also going through it!!! that’s the entire point - they’re both people with their own lives and emotions and everything else that comes with that, they had very human reactions to their respective situations, and they both ended up hurt!! hopefully i’m explaining this right but i just don’t like it when people pin everything on ford, like there was a lot going on and at the end of the day he’s just a human

wasn’t really sure how to work this in so i’ll just put it here - i don’t think ford ever truly hated stan, either. familial bonds are complicated, and there can be a whole lot of anger towards someone without true hatred being present. i briefly mentioned the stans’ childhood sucking earlier, and i don’t just mean stanley - it’s easier to pinpoint him as a victim of abuse/neglect, but that doesn’t mean ford had it great either. their parents (specifically filbrick, but caryn didn’t exactly do a fantastic job with them either) expected nothing of stan and the world of ford, both of which would weigh heavily on any child. plus, ford being the favorite doesn’t mean all of his emotional needs were met - filbrick seeing him as an opportunity to make money doesn’t mean he was suddenly an emotionally present and caring father towards him. WCT wasn’t just an opportunity for ford to go be a famous scientist or whatever - it was a chance for his father to love him, something both of the stans desperately wanted. (WCT was also on the opposite side of the country from where they lived but i’m sure that’s completely unrelated !!!)

do i think stan deserved anything that happened to him after the science fair incident? no, absolutely not, he was a child. do i think it was right of ford to just stand there as his brother got thrown out? no, absolutely not - but he was a child too. as for them not speaking for a decade after that, like i mentioned earlier ford can hold a grudge like no other. (this doesn’t just apply to stan, either, ford dedicated half of his life to trying to kill his ex lmao.) i think ford’s ability to hold on to anger like that is actually a pretty major part of/flaw in his personality, but again, anger - even the strongest, most long-lived of it - is not synonymous with hatred. stan, who ford has always gone to for help when he truly needed it, it not what ford’s hatred looks like. bill, who ford actively wants to die, is

anyways!! i never know how to close these things lol. ig in summary i just see ford’s behavior (in the show at least) as more of a sign of internal struggle rather than like ,, genuinely hating the people around him and wanting their lives to suck. did/does he have an ego problem? absolutely. is he incapable of love and human connection? no. is he immune to manipulation/abuse/neglect/etc and everything that comes with that? also no

he’s an interdimensional criminal why can’t he go to the theraprism. i think he should

[kiruyeen]

rambling abt my danny johnson hcs bc I dont have anything better to do

alright so the fog most definitely changed everyone in it, but while most of them are for worse, Danny for better, actually. not for the "hehe I can mutilate people without worrying abt consequences" part. by all means I believe danny would get bored. of the same methods of killing, sacrifing, stalking for short periods, the same realms, same victims, etc. Danny, as patient as he can be while stalking, is a thrill seeking man, and only human, whether he likes it or not.

but this is a key part of him actually getting to explore who 'danny johnson' is. he spent his entire life putting on masks, physical or metaphorical, that he has no idea who 'danny' is otherwise, and this would give him a chance to explore, since, well, being painfully average isnt any advantage to him here and he has nothing better to do since he cant focus his attention on stalking and studying other people. when theres no one left to study, one is forced to study themselves.

he could actually grow out his hair, give himself stick and poke tats (maybe with the help of the legion, who knows), grow a beard to see if he likes it (I dont think he would), etc.

going from this, if he forms genuine bonds with anyone (especially any survivors) bc yk what else is left to do, he could actually, just maybe, open up about his past and realize oh fuck, that shit wasnt healthy or normal at all. I dont think itd fix him, but itd give him a better understanding of himself. I dont think he would ever upon up about this if it wasnt for the fog.

similarly I dont think he'd form any romantic bonds with anyone if it wasnt the fog as well, I fully believe danny used to cut himself off (more accurately, cut THEM up) as soon as he felt his feelings for anyone would get in the way of his mission. I dont think he even recognizes romantic love anymore. the difference in the fog is, well, you cant get rid of your problems by murdering them here bc they just come back like a boomerang.

he semi-canonly has NPD (as in the devs called him a bit narcissistic once and I stuck to it like a starving leech) and I most definitely believe he has the symptoms, as a lack of a sense of self is common with NPD anyway. I never wanna think too much abt this since I have a deeply set fear of misrepresenting already stigmatized disorders esp due to not having NPD myself but I will say, 1, he definitely has an internal hierarchy but the way he feels abt those above and below him are different than you'd assume, and 2, he would have been a murderer regardless of his npd and the npd has nothing to do with him becoming a murderer, it does influence it naturally yes bc its a PERSONALITY disorder but its not what makes him evil yk. its the ritualized abuse he went through all his life with the explicit intent to make him the way he is.

other, small stuff

so since the entity can and does change a few things with the killers, I love to think Danny has tapetum lucidum in his eyes, like a cat, to see better in the dark, esp beneath the mask's eyes.

the way his costume's... strap.. tentacle... things work is similar to a cat's tail as well. swishing furiously when upset, resting naturally when calm, curling slowly when curious etc. it makes it a little bit easier to guess how hes feeling with the emotionless mask on, for the theoretical audience at least.

he's actually not a fan of physical contact, unless it is to cause discomfort to or fluster someone. he's simply not used to it, but he will tolerate it when necessary. he's likely just touch starved but doesnt recognize the sensation, though.

he would not care enough to label his orientational identity but it'd definitely be pan and somewhere on the a-spectrum.

returning to the only getting to know himself after the fog bit, he'd probably realize hes at least a little bit gender queer. (I also love trans man danny headcanons I just cant seem to make it fit with my other hcs)

alr thats abt it I believe. feel free to share ur ideas as well I love reading abt different interpertations for a character esp when it is the silly sopping wet cat that is danny

[100jewels-between-teeth]

Ch. I

Masterlist ¤ AO3 ¤ Ko-Fi

¤¤¤

cw: mentions of violence, mentions of suicide

AN: hope you enjoy this wonderful project and journey we shall be going on together ♡ future posts will have notes at the bottom. If you would like to be added to the tag list for future updates, please let me know! (Transcript provided below)

¤¤¤ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭▹

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈․° ꕥ °․┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Letter 1:

11 Solace, 9:48 Dragon I really do not know why I’m writing this. Maybe because the act of saying it all out loud will make me look like I am some crazed mage possessed. But I know keeping it in will just push me over some kind of edge. So, I guess, I will just look like an idiot and sit here, writing some letter that will be another scattered paper on the streets. If any one of them read this, I think that edge would turn far more literal than metaphorical.  I’m stalling on a piece of fucking paper. *strike through* (dont talk to the fucking paper) I feel ungrateful, I guess. Most would say I should be privileged to sit where I sit. To be a Talon, to finally be equal amongst the others. To have that trust in the family placed on me. But… fuck really at what cost? The sleepless nights of training, the beatings and moments where it felt they were just wanting to torture you to see if you could take the pain. Eating and never truly knowing if what you're putting in your mouth will end in you needing to rush to find some stupidly hidden antidote somewhere. You know what sucks? Everything i eat now tastes like ash. Like every taste bud has just died.  It has to be worth it, right?  It has to be worth something. Fuck I don't know.  This is stupid.  Stupid Crows, stupid me, stupid piece of paper.  At least I have a home. Maybe that is what this is for.  Maybe the contract tomorrow will be easy. How do you shut up to paper?

Letter 2:

13 Solace, 9:48 Dragon (why date if not wanting to be found?) Pequeña cuervo.  (I assume because this is a Crow hideout…well was, I think you're the first to use it in a long while.)  I will agree, if any other Crows read your whimpering, the end might be an easier reality to handle. I can give you tips, though. Since falling from high places isn't exactly the most elegant way to go.  Wait, maybe I shouldn't write that.  Sorry.  I know the price seems steep. And the food is shit no matter what. Most Crows can't cook worth a damn. I can recommend some spices to help. There is a medicine I know to help taste too.  You find worth somehow. It took time for me, but I found it.  I hope your contract went well.  P.S. I did find this on the street. In front of the gutter to this building. You may want to dispose better. But I won't tell. 

Tags: @enterthedreams

[hrrtshape]

hi. it’s 🎐 anon!!

this has nothing to do with my reality planning from a while back, sorry to disappoint.

but i just woke up from a dream where i thought i shifted somewhere, but i wasn’t as conscious as i would be in this reality.

i said i’d shift in my sleep last night and i saw a dream where i thought i shifted. kinda annoying tbh

my behavior was more reckless as i would’ve been in this reality, and my senses weren’t working well at all (i heard an alarm playing from an item i was trying to open very silently, i dont have any recollection of feeling the touch of something ect.)—so i estimate that it was a dream and not a shift.

and my love interest was there as a toddler. i was so in the haze of “having shifted” that i was just thankful to have seen him at all. it was so weird.

i genuinely don’t know what to do now. do you have any advice you can spare me?

🎐 anon, my little dream-dazed wayfarer, come here, sit down, have some metaphorical chamomile. let me tell you something about the mind. it’s a labyrinth, and sometimes it sends you on a scenic route just to laugh at your mortal legs.

this wasn’t a failure. this was a misfire, a glitch in the matrix, a rehearsal in an empty theatre. your awareness wasn’t all there, your senses were muffled, your behaviour wasn’t quite you. that tells me you weren’t fully in control. you were in a dream dressing up as a shift. but that means something very crucial. you are clos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. you are standing at the precipice, hand outstretched, fingers grazing the fabric of another reality. if the mind can play pretend this well, imagine what happens when you actually get a hold of the pen.

so what do you do now? first, don’t spiral. the worst thing you can do is treat this like a setback rather than a near-hit. treat it like proof of concept. re-centre. if you’re shifting in your sleep, work on lucidity. more awareness, more agency. before bed, remind yourself: i will know i am shifting, i will be in control, i will feel everything vividly. drill it into your soft little psyche. fall asleep with the kind of confidence that makes gods look over their shoulders.

as for the toddler thing… yeah. the subconscious loves to throw some dadaist nonsense at you. don’t read into it too hard. or do. i’m not your mom. but keep going. your mind is already sending out feelers into the beyond. next time, grab hold.

[squishranger]

AT LAST SEVERAL MONTHS OF BRAINROT COME TO FRUITION

here's a carrd for all tptmers who want to meet some Fun New Girls That I Made (it defaults you to the first girl, but the button leading to the second one is at the bottom... and at the bottom of the second girl's page... is a button leading back to the first! careful not to get stuck in an infinite loop.)

EDIT: OH GOD ITS SO UGLY ON MOBILE. USE YOUR COMPUTER PLEASE

the full designs, transcripts and screenshots of the carrd for mobile users, and other such ramblings are under the cut

REVERIE GIRL , she/they/cloud/dream/star/whatever suits your fancy, wants the world to spin both faster and slower than it does... if she had the gumption, they'd have everything she wanted by now, but they tend to only have the energy to lay in bed and think about lost times. she's a nostalgiacore girlie and she has little else to go off of in terms of defining who she is. (star's... basically just a self-insert.)

PAGE:

JOURNAL TRANSCRIPT: ohhhh my god what am i doing . i cant keep living like this. like its not even living im not even doing anything every morning i wake up and i regret i regret waking up i dont want to wake up but how am i ever supposed to live if i cant do anything other than stare at the ceiling and pretend things are better than they are ??? at this point i'd rather give up. live in my daydream forever with my friends and my cat whos been dead for like two years now i think but i wanna go back to her i wanna go somewhere else. i havent given a shit about reality in fucking forever im so done with it but some part of me wants to live. maybe even get out of my fucking parents house. get a job learn to drive be a person or something. but i'm so stuck. i just hurt all the time. i dont know what part of my heart to follow. i dont know what to do. i can't just go back to bed this time i can't…. i can't…. i always tell myself that and then i do. i need to make up my mind.

CARRIER GIRL, she/he/they/it, has been abandoned by everyone who ever loved her. though she lives a generally stable life, it's a distinctly lonely one, and it isn't enough for her. there is something yet to be fulfilled. some kind of desire. she only wants to feel as loved as she once was.

PAGE:

JOURNAL TRANSCRIPT: hello blog!! i got myself an iced matcha latte from my favorite local cafe today! it was really good. but it like, it got me thinking… will any little treat i buy myself ever make me feel better about how freakin' lonely i am?? man, i dunno why i started thinking like that… i get matcha all the dang time. so often they're starting to feel more like breadcrumbs. i think it'd taste like something again if i shared it with someone. i think i peaked in high school. that was when i had friends and before all that awful stuff happened and yeah maybe i wasn't doing great but i had people. and then they all went to college or got married or had babies or something and… augh!! i can't be bitter!! they're living their best life… just… without me. and now every time i reach out i get brushed off, pushed away… i want someone who won't leave me. will i ever have someone who won't leave me? maybe i won't. maybe i should just accept that. everyone always leaves. i've been nothing but kind to people, i really think that, so what am I doing wrong? ohh boy this one really spiraled outta control didn't it… sorry ;-; i'm just gonna save it and go think for a bittt….

THIS WAS A VERY FUN EXERCISE for character design and branching out with my art style (i did in fact draw both of these characters.. it's probably pretty obvious but i tried to make them look like they were sorta drawn in different styles like the canon girls bc it's cool i think. if that makes sense JSDFJSDF) and coming up with metaphors, i actually had so many other girl ideas that got scrapped for one reason or another, and only two came out unscathed... there may be more... in the future... as for songs, i don't know if that'll ever happen. i have most of the tools, aside from voice synth, so i'd probably just use my own voice. which might be CRINGEEE (ironic statement) so we'll see how that goes!! ^^' don't... don't count on it...

[asexualzoro]

it's december 9th, meaning today is my 23rd birthday (which is my favorite number!), which means it's time for...

Lew Writes Wrapped 2023!!!

im including anything that happened after my last bday, so we have some works from december as well. this one's a bit of a weird one for the total word count, you'll see why

it's all treebark from my sideblog / alt ao3. i cannot change. i will not change. for these im just gonna specify the relationship that's the main focus bc thats easier than fandom bc all but like one are third life

dandelion wishing

(Dec, 2.4k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

op movie 6 au for dogwarts in which Martyn is the baron and Ren doesn't know he's dead

id actually plotted out a whole third life au for this movie like months prior and really wanted to write it, so i took it for treebark week and focused it just on these two. it's my fave movie of all time and i obvs had to give it to my fave completely dead team <3

i will admit tho. it did make me back search martyns twitter to see if hes ever posted abt watching this movie. bc i know he likes One Piece and i realized this would bring me into the danger zone (he hasnt ever posted abt it if hes seen it)

A Romance Route for the Doomed Villain?!?

(Dec, 5k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

treebark dating sim isekai parody that spiraled out of my control made in a day-long possession

im still baffled by this one. why was the response to this one so insane?? there was smth in the water the day i posted this bro. a 1:2 kudos to hits ratio for the entire first day is literally fucking unbelievable. 70 comments?? what hold did this fic have on you people. i got fic written about this one?? my friends goncharov'd me in front of my face

really fucking fun to write and the insane response was smth im always gonna remember. i appreciate you guys so much

treesekai also turns a year old in a few days!

Until the Angels Realize You're Not One of Them

(Feb, 7.2k, emerald duo, oneshot) (link)

a traitor phil au which was mostly just me talking about all the reasons i love technoblade

this one... wasnt actually written this year for the most part? i didnt want to not acknowledge it, since it's on my ao3 in this year, but i wont be able to count it toward the total

still. traitor phil au my beloved. hearing him say on his stream he and techno wanted to do a betrayal arc made me feel insane bc i already had this written at the time

missing or obstructed

(2022-present, 12.9k, Grian & Ren, ongoing) (link)

post 3L fic about Ren and Grian seeking out closure with a lot of funny little sleep metaphors

same deal as the last fic, i, uh dont think i actually wrote anything new for missing or obstructed this year either? just uploaded chapters i wrote last year,,, i didnt wanna now acknowledge it, but i wont count this in my total later

i miss her. one day ill actually sit down and write more missing or obstructed. in my doc im JUST at introducing Martyn and i havent written it yet

to reach my mangled debut

(Sept, 4.2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

it wouldnt be me if i didnt have an execution somewhere in here. another op au!

THIS. I LOVE HER. when rev and i were plotting out the whole storyline for smop renchanting i was begging please give me this scene i need it and i had so much fun writing it. i rlly need to finish soon but i haven’t had time but please. please check out smop. she’s top of my priority list to update

Three-Dog Night

(Sept, 6.7k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

BIG DOG. beauty and the beast au!

god im so fond of this au. there’s some rlly good scenes written for this and unposted bc i just need to link them together. honestly i think if i took a month and focused it on this fic alone i could fucking finish it but i don’t have the time ;-;

that said i’m so enamored w this au genuinely. o dunno what else to say i just think. puppy

Cover Me In Roses

(Sept, 3.3k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

lamplight roleswap! put Martyn in a flower pot

i don’t feel as motivated to work on this one when i have lamplight unfinished so it’s lower on my priorities but know i have like an entire arc of this written and unposted. we just have a few paths for this one and i have to decide which one to use

it’s so wild to me lamplight has like. aus. like this isn’t even the only one? a roleswap. that’s insane? it’s wild that you all like lamplight enough i can even get away with this

First Sign of a House Fire

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i love superhero stories for two reasons: plots about secrets and adapting the characters to give them powers. this had smth fun for both of them

yellow rose isn’t super high on my list of priorities to update (i think the oneshot is interesting on its own) but one day,,,, it’s part of the many aus cherri and i have but it’s the longest for sure. the doc for just this au is like 100k words long on its own. at the time i draft this cherri and i are actively writing smth else for it in another tab. theres like 4 offshoots and im obsessed w all of them. we had to make ocs about this one. i’m excited to eventually add more to this series

actually that’s one of the scenes i’m most excited for and most dreading adding. we made a backstory oc and im SO attached to him and im excited to post a thing out there w him but. ough. whatever cringe is dead i’ll get there eventually and brute force my way into attaching you to our funky little robot guy

also love that this fic forced me to be decided on a docv characterization that i have to stick to. he may be a canon guy to martyn’s vtuber lore but he’s my oc now too

Blindsided

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

pirate au and royal au based on a big secret and also stuffing a guy in a box and it's all stupid dramatic literally what else do you want or need in life

this is my wife. my favorite. my most beloved. blindsided gives me new illnesses and diseases. i have just one scene to write before i can update it and then i can continue unleashing her. god i love this fic the drama of it is SO fun.

the funny thing abt blindsided is i know all the plot chronologically but now how to Present it which is part of why i haven’t continued too much. eventually i will but until then know that one of the scenes im sitting on which has been fully written is one i think about constantly. hopefully when i post it cherri’ll let free the comic she did for it

i actually have the ending of this fic written i just need to get there lmfao. second on my priority list after smop i think

Cradle of the Leviathan

(Sept, 1.5k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i just love mer aus man. whats the point of it all if you cant have mer aus. just get a big ol fish

i have the ending of this au written as well and literally so little of the lead up. but this is pretty low on my priorities. i think this one stands just fine on its own. mer aus are nice like that

we actually have a few mer aus but for now i’ll be focusing on this one. i do have a few sweet post story things written for this one. maybe one day i’ll write enough to post em lmao

Lamplight AU

(2022-present, 47k, treebark, ongoing) (link)

renchanting dnd/fantasy au, martyn's a paladin and ren's a lamp

so i started this au last year. my wrapped last year said my total was 20k, so that means this year's total is.... 27k!

and… it was just lamplight’s birthday and i did all my appreciation for the fic and its readers then, but god. i love this fic so much and i love you all who have read it and been so kind about it. the amount of popularity it has makes it a bit nerve wracking to work on, but i still really want to see it finished. i hope to see the bulk of it done by this time next year!

Six Sentence Sunday

six sentence sunday is a challenge where i try to post six sentences i wrote that week every sunday, to keep me writing every week of the year! i do it over on my writing blog, @driflew

i did not keep up on my six sentences,,, i had a lot of sunday fencing tournaments. i did for ~33 weeks this year! thats a pretty good amount! i’ll have to be more on top of it next year tho

unpublished work

the last few years i havent included unpublished work, but with the extreme bulk of it, i wanted to note it down. cherri @/cherrifire and i have been writing a lot back and forth at each other in discord dms this year, and i wanted to include those in my count! bc holy fucking shit is there a lot of them

i didn’t include collab pieces, just pieces i wrote alone. i also only included the renchanting aus i share w cherri and scarian aus i share w flowey, nothing else—no unfinished lamplight or other independent pieces or oneshots, no original fiction for class, nothing. i also missed a few u haven’t moved to docs yet. so i’m lowballing by a few. thousands. of words

the total for those is...... 135k words! there is,,, something wrong with me

total and end notes

our total this year is...

187512 words!

that might be my highest word count yet! because i caught treebark disease. wild.

something really fun about this year to me is i really loved everything i wrote.

if you want to get me a gift or support me on my birthday… maybe try reading my work and reblogging it or leaving a comment! you can find my writing at driflew or skelew on ao3, follow my writing blog at @driflew, or even consider tipping my kofi!

thank you for sticking with me and supporting me this year! i really appreciate it! hopefully i can break 100k next year too!

[hellokittyballsack]

WAIT. DO U ALSO HC DRIX AS TRANSFEM. OR AM I. LOSING MY MIND.

I DO IN A WAY ? ITS COMPLEX SORRY

i dont like labels but i do refer to drix as she/her because i see her motherly love and gentle soul that she carries around on her sleeve. i love her sm... ARGHH also i love ur pfp

(im gonna use this opportunity to rant about labels since i was looking for an opportunity to share this somewhere NOT MAD AT U OR ANYTHING LOL TLDR: hairy balding cis men are beautiful women the way they are ♥️ masculinity can be feminine vice versa if you let it be🖖)

you can skip blue text and just read the green part, blue's more of a personal experience laadeedaa!!

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

with a lot of my fav cis male characters i tend to slowly start calling them she/her the more i love them, dont really know why but i think thats just me projecting since im a trans man so i cant really enjoy femininity authentically, yknow? (or the way i want to) ide get misgendered since the body i was born with is "female" or "feminine". 🍅 🍅 🍅

plus im almost certain if i was somehow flipped and born a cis man ide still end up transitioning(not medically but thats a personal thing) and then yearning for masculinity, simply because i hate how these bodies limit the perception people have of me. i want to be my own person, identify as me first, not to have my label define me or my identity for that matter bc identity is SO much more complex than just one word.

its like Ying Yang but sadly i cant ever be a true neutral because that would mean dressing androgynous which i cant do because me, dressing androgynous, would just be a boyish girl. and me dressing masculine would get the results of "being seen as androgynous" because of how my body is naturally. but is that fair at all? so the only thing i can do to be seen as masculine is to medically change my body? ☹️

and i dont want to be seen as androgynous either at all, i love my male identity, dont love what comes with it but love it. and want to be perceived as masculine, ..but being androgynous is the only way you can build up your identity on your own without someone viewing you with a gender filter on their glasses.(sorry for the shit metaphor) and after people find out whats in your pants they will immediately talk to you differently and that SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i want to put on a dress that doesnt make me a woman or a feminine man, let me enjoy this dress, masculine-ly ‼️‼️🤲 PLEASE

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

(⚠️this isnt relative to the asked question as explained prior, use labels all you want guys but know its okay if someone doesnt use labels ect ect. just explaining the jist here quickly⚠️) sometimes people use labels to put others into boxes and focus on "whats womanly" / "whats manly" --- so its difficult to have people respect your identity while "breaking the rules" (their rules) of said identity. aswell as people focusing on the physical. (body and such) rather than finding beauty in feminine and masculine features you have without that lowering your validity of said identity. this being said that usually happens in heteronormative spaces BUT it occasionally slips in into the lgbtq community.

masculinity can be femininity vice versa, its not just black and white 🫂 body hair can be both for example, even in "masculine" areas, it still can be feminine. and that should go for any body part, clothes, action, interest or anything for that matter ♥️♥️

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

like with peter strahm from Saw (aswell as mark hoffman) thru months of writing scenarios between them and my brainrot i now see them as the most beautifully gorgeous women and that includes all their hairy appendages. that doesnt necessarily mean i headcanon them as transfem, i see their "male" bodies to be the peak of feminine beauty, as well as their masculinity. i mean that i dont "genderbend" them and turn them into cis women, and i dont add or take away from the original character, longer hair or a sudden change of clothes, or trans scars even though im trans myself and will probably end up with such scars (in a perfect world i would be seen as male with or without boobs) theyre perfect the way they are and i love them dearly oh so much 🫂🫂🫂🫂....(not saying its bad to do any of that, live your truth) i may draw them wearing dresses or lipstick time to time but thats not what defines their identity as women, who says theyre 100% only women either fuck it lets go full genderqueer!! theyll never be cis women yes, but thats not what my goal is at all. trans love everybody ♥️ transexual pride!! ♥️♥️(and even if you dont identify as trans but still arent cis ♥️♥️youre valid however you feel, whenever ⭐) But that doesnt mean i headcanon them as trans also, theyre them, and i want to see them shine, not being shadowed by a label or limited by one, that goes for Drix too. that doesnt mean im against such label, though theres really no way of explaining without it SOUNDING like i am, go fuckall with your headcanons imagination is free!!!! just labels arent for me AND THATS OKAY

theyre all my girls who are boys who are girls MUAH 💋

[melissa-titanium]

id like to preface this rant with a picture of my cat & also a disclaimer that this isn't like. a vent or a call for help ir anything i just like musing about this stuff. talking outloud to myself if you will. i'm doing perfectly well right now but im thinkingggg and id like to spill it somewhere so it doesnt overflow. i don't think i'll be replying to responses if there is any but i'd definitely love to /read/ responses if youd like to share your own thoughts. :)) <3

ok. my cat as promised

alright. ive been thinking. i have always been rather pessimistic, a product of my youth and developmental environment, so i like to take my thoughts with a grain of salt with the understanding that what i see things as can be wildly different from other people. essentially i try my best to be self aware, but i have slip ups. we all do!

and again, i know dark times in your life pass, they always will if you're strong enough to persevere! i'd know, after many terrible terrible times i came close to the brink but managed to bounce back. i have everyone i have ever met over the years to thank, i could not name them all but especially hellholians. even if the server will never have the same amount of activity, even if we are all different people than who we were during the fucking insane years that were 2020-2022, those were some of the most influential years of my entire life & i have so many great and terrible memories from that time. i don't know if i truly have any influence in other peoples lives as they do in mine, but i'm glad to have been atleast a small part of everyone there's life. hellhole got me through some of the most inane fucking bullshit i have ever experienced in my life and even if i was an annoying piece of shit back then i am glad everyone tolerated me. ok sentiment over ill be here forever if i dont end it.

essentially. to reiterate the sentence i derailed. i know everyone has dark times in their life. and i know a good support system and spite can seriously help you get through those times... but to take from a good metaphor i saw some time ago that i can't find the source for the life of me; what do you even do once you've escaped the dark? you lose so much blood on the way to freedom that once you're out of that terrible place you can't do anything but collapse in on yourself. the adrenaline has run out and now the only thing thats left is the husk of what you were before the darkness hit. in some cases people have evidence of who they were, proof that they were /someone./ but i suppose in my case & others ofc, the terrible things happened so consistently and so constantly that i (and again, others) had no chance to even create that concept, to get an idea of who "i" am. sometimes it feels like ive been hollowed out and left to dry in the sun, other times it feels like ive been shattered into a thousand different evershifting versions of myself, and other times it just feels like i'm not even in my body. i'm not acting like this is a unique experience in the slightest, i know damn well there are people who have had it MUCH worse than me. it just frustrates me sometimes to be so little of a person that never existed, especially when people often force their ideas of who that person was onto me.

to describe things a little less cryptically -- i don't know who i am. yeah, i'm not supposed to have it all figured out at 15, i'm not fucking stupid, but sometimes it just feels like i'm falling so behind in the self-discovery department. so many people i know seem (SEEM, i know it isn't always that way on the inside) to be confident in who they are and how they present themself to other people, and then i'm just there struggling to differentiate the dream i had three weeks ago with present reality & juggling three different terrible outcomes to a conversation i made up in my head & also debating whether to kill everyone i know in cold blood and dissapear off the radar. every single interaction i have with people is some fucked up infinitely and needlessly complicated labyrinth of a mindgame. i suppose im getting tired but basically i feel like why im so bad at maintaining friendships is i can never ever find a comfortable level to talk to people with until AFTER i've had time to analyze them & how they behave so i can react accordingly. it's not necessarily that i'm accommodating for them, it's that they've already accommodated for me & i'm simply reflecting their behaviour. if i ever say i'm being sincere, but talk completely and totally different to another person, i'm probably not lying. i've been asked by a handful of wonderfully insightful people (whom i love. you know who you guys are <3) who have sort of unintentionally helped me understand these pwrts of me. but for now im going to sleep intotally lost the motifve of this rant uhhw

[latibulater]

The Venture Bros Rewatch notes: Careers in Science

gonna start a new reblog chain every two episodes so they dont become too long. this one is a doozy to me. SO much of s7 is scraped from this one episode

I can't stop imaging the implications of Venture Industries going from being a fairly sized cutting-edge company that had over 2000 employees just on the Gargantua 1 (so way more on earth), to having absolutely zero staff and their main HQ building in NY closing (to become the impossible building (and then impossible industries crashing when he goes evil (and tHEN VENTECH CRASHING [literally!!!] after JJ dies (i just think that scraper is cursed))))

I love how Brock is in sweats and a beanie. He saw those dorky spacesuits and said absolutely fucking not

Also, the opening conversation between Brock and Baldavich is SO funnnnnnny. This woman hasn't had sex in 6 years at least and is getting off on guiding a rocket into a space station.

okay i dont care about bud as a character but he'd be a great inciting incident imagine if he had interpreted the Morse and opened the machine and saw Jonas - and THAT was why Rusty and Brock were called up to the Gargantua 1 during this episode

we know Bud was the paperboy on Gargantua 1, so he has essentially been on that space station since Jonas died, for the past twenty whole years. Not straight, literally, but still, jesus. Mentally at least. I'm actually surprised he wasn't able to remember Morse code and decipher the blinks of the Problem Machine. i imagine it was incredibly traumatic and that why he hasn't led a life in any other way, he's still a paperboy twenty years later.

Bud thinking Brock is dr. venture is hilarious it reminds me of fullmetal alchemist. if we want to be gay, he COULD

what is WITH brock's shorts over his sweatpants wtf on earth. so superman

Doc never even took the pills before he hit his head on the console after the gravity was turned back on. i TRULY think he was talking to Jonas' consciousness. the conversation between them is so funny. "youre a hallucination" "fine maybe. but even if im a hallucination im still your dad. what did you do to my space station"

the way hank and dean get so mad and upset when they think doc is dead its actually very touching and sad when you think about how at this point theyre still being endlessly cloned

"you were just flipping switch. think! cmon tiny wonder, you helped me build this thing." "i was just a kid i just wanted to play cowboys and indians, who lets a ten year old help build a space station anyways!"

hank and dean thinking brock is wrestling the phantom space man, and then fucking the phantom space man, they just took it on the chin and assumed immediately Brock would have sex with a man

"oh rusty you don't need diet pills, you just need to figure some things out. remember lad, the solution was in you all the time." either rusty is hallucinating jonas saying that or the man's bodiless head really is trying to encourage his son.

either way it speaks a lot to their relationship. i feel like verbally jonas was very upbeat and forceful optimism, and it was his actions endangering rusty and lack of emotional care that really traumatized rusty as a child

"he has a huge mushroom, does he have a smurf living in it!" i laughed

"you already took it! in the lap! from...not! me!" laughed so much

rusty's childhood toys gunking up the gargantua 1 console. there is a metaphor living in here somewhere

the way bud talks is so old fashioned even for the show. he's got to be the same age as rusty yet he talks like professor impossible or even more anachronistically. maybe baldavich has only been there for 6 years, but bud has been manning the station for multiple tours on end and has only old media to entertain himself with

i love the little zhu-zhu-zhu-zhu-zhuuuuu music its only in the very early episodes

"oh man whats it like being a giant liar"

the suit pee dripping....SO GROSS yet as an animator lover i appreciate it

overall i really do love this episode. first one without racism, thank god above. the joke of baldavich being super ugly is lame, but its tamer than in its always sunny in philadelphia with the way dee is treated like a bird.

i seriously am trying to wrap my head around what it would be like if jonas had actually been recovered in season one. so much character development not done, so much just hasn't happened yet would it even matter? would it be better for jonas jr to be born after jonas comes back to life or after?

tiny bit off track, but i keep picturing an alternate universe where rusty and jj are born at the same time and jonas is still disabled but more interested in science but stuck at home whereas rusty is terrified but able bodied and expected to follow their father everywhere. rusty being a big brother.........

[samuraifics]

Ubisoft is fucked but here is how i fix it. Scrap everything that happened after ac Dont Even Know The Number.

Does Desmond die?

Idk, the answer will come to me later. but right now we’re mixing AC, far cry & watch dogs and calling it The Bleed. Why? Bc these assholes never properly went into exploring the bleeding effect, which is the second best thing to come out of the assassin’s creed lore (after the concept of ‘your blood does not belong to you’)

Anyway, Jason wants revenge on the slavers & human traffickers who tried to buy his baby brother towards the end of fc3. Seeing as he’s a perfectly unhinged murder machine, he’s approached by a private military company — come work with us and we’ll help you find the buyer. Bonus points you’re restless, unable to return to civilian life, and our PMC is perfectly legal, so u get to kill people and get rich.

How did they find the buyer? Well, they happened to have one of the best computer security & social engineers on hand: Defalt! <:8)~~ rat boy is on the run from the feds after the fallout of bad blood!

Around this time Aiden is canonically already ‘going global’—Jason’s PMC is having shady dealings somewhere in a civil war-ridden country in Africa, with Defalt sitting duck and enjoying being untouchable this far removed from his targets.

Cue him and Aiden getting lumped into trouble, with the Fox having zero clue who this fuckin guy is. That is, until the Bad Guy goes on an Antagonist Rant(TM) and gives ratboy out by wondering how the fuck does pearce go from interrupting that expo in chicago, causing a shootout on the roof of the club and polishing that off with a city-wide chase after this one fuckin guy—to now working with him (factual sic!).

Meanwhile Defalt on his knees & at gunpoint sweating nervously, but for a completely different reason than what the Bad Guy’s thinking.

Obviously Jason’s team is coming to bail (read: shoot up the place) Defalt out cos he’s An Asset and also Their Guy. As a treat, Aiden and Jason have a meet ugly, but ultimately the trio gets stuck together.

Now for the fun, bleeding effect part, one of them at some point (fore or after this) is plucked from their lovely lovely homey place by abstergo and is stuck into an old timey animus that causes severe side effects

Idk which one bc i have good ideas for all 3 of them, but my frontrunner is Aiden. Would it be too cracky&cliche to have him be a descendant to Jacob? OBVIOUSLY, but also JACK THE RIPPER vs THE FOX & Aiden being put into a salad spinner metaphorically, my beloved!

That’s it that’s the fic :) oh i meant the game. also i’m a horse girl and they’re in the middle of nowhere, so mgsv-esque tactical horsies are in order :)

i just think this would be neat. i also think i’ll need to become addicted to salts to write this shit

UPD NO NO NO WAIT THATS PERFECT. ALTAIR GETS HIGH, PERFORMS INSANE STUNTS AND KILLS PEOPLE. JASON GETS HIGH, PERFORMS INSANE STUNTS AND KILLS PEOPLE. yea jason definitely is altair’s descendant just for the sake of the story and for the torment that the bleeding effect should have on him