#there’s probably typos in here I’m sorry I’m at work writing this on my phone lmao

[aurorasgate]

midday zayne thoughts - 18+ minors dni pls🩷

hes the type of man to shave your pussy for you. of course this is only if you want to, he has no preference when it comes to that & just wants you to be comfortable. but im talking about when you want it, maybe you missed your wax appointment or just haven’t had time to shave lately & are feeling uncomfortable, maybe even waiting to be intimate with him again till you’re able to do something about it.

but he so easily coaxes you onto the bed where a warm bowl & all the supplies he needs to help you are waiting & he’s so sweet as he tucks a towel underneath your bum before he starts, adoring how flustered you are when spreading your legs for him like this despite the fact you’ve been intimate & similarly posed before.

of course his hands are nothing but skilled & tender as he touches you & he kisses your thigh when you mumble how embarrassing this is but he reassures you that it isn’t embarrassing at all, that it’s apart of his duty to care for you in every way & admits he quite likes this particular way.

& how could he not when he’s making you feel better, comfortable, confident, whichever it might be. it’s only a plus he’s getting to see your glistening pussy that grows wetter the more time passes even though he isn’t teasing you or touching your twitching clit. at least not yet.

[cupidbedsy]

୨୧ curbside pickup ; tz11, cc13, lh43, qh43, jh86

➪ summary: after being stood up, y/n was planning on just spending her night crying on the curb before she went home. that was until five boys showed up and took her out.

➪ warnings: reader gets stood up, mentions of cheating, trevor is such a flirt, reader has chemistry with all five of them, definitely typos/not proofread

➪ word count: 5.3k

➪ cupid's notes: the first fic since i've left. guys you have no idea how in love i am with this. i got this idea based on a tiktok (at least the first part was, the fair part was all me) but i love this so so so much and i hope you guys do too. okay two things that i am willing to do with this, write and give you guys the letters each of them write and/or a part two where she gets together with one of them (who, you let me know)

© cupidbedsy ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

She hadn't meant to end up on the curb, mascara streaking down her cheeks as the city buzzed around her, but here she was, wishing she'd never agreed to the date in the first place. She shoved her phone roughly into the pocket of her jacket, curling herself into it further. She turned her attention to the cracks in the sidewalk, tracing the lines and picking at the grass that grew out of some of them. 

When she got bored of that she wrapped her arms around her knees and just buried her head into them, listening to the cars passing by and the distant music from the bar a couple of buildings down. She could hear muffled laughter and talking drawing closer but she was too distracted to care. 

Meanwhile, the group of guys was walking down the sidewalk laughing about a joke one of them had said. They had just been wandering around trying to figure out what they should do that night. It was Luke who spotted the girl first, he paused once his gaze landed on her. At first he thought nothing of it, merely shrugged it off as just someone who was drunk way too early into the night. 

But as the group neared closer, he could hear the soft sniffles and immediately reached his hand out to stop Jack, who was walking beside him, “What?”

Jack raised his eyebrow as he followed Luke’s gaze to where the girl was sitting. He looked back at his younger brother and then back at the girl, “What is it?”

“She’s crying, dumbass.”

The conversation halted the other three’s movements, their laughter slowly fading. They made their way back over to the two, making a little huddle as they discussed what they should do, “Should we do something?”

Quinn crossed his arms, slightly worried about the girl even if she was just a stranger. He listened to the others talk before walking up to her, ignoring the group’s sounds of protests, “Hey.”

The girl jumped slightly, rushing to wipe the tears from her face as she looked up at him, “Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

She looked back down, eyes fixed on her sweater covered hands, before she mumbled, “I’m fine.” She picked at the loose strings coming from the edge of the sleeves, oblivious to the looks and mouthed words the boys were exchanging. 

When minutes had passed she finally looked back up to see the five now completely surrounding her. She could tell they had been planning on going out somewhere, probably having a lot more fun then she would’ve had even if her date had shown up. A few of them sent her an awkward smile while the one she had talked to and one of the taller ones sent her genuine ones. 

“We didn’t mean to bother you,” Luke said, “We were just wondering if you were okay.”

Y/n nodded, “I’m fine… just a bad night, I guess.”

Trevor raised his eyebrows, “Just a bad night?” Jack hit him in the stomach and smiled at the girl apologetically, “Sorry about him.”

She cracked a small smile, the first one since she arrived at the shitty bar two hours ago. Cole took this as an invitation to offer what they had been talking about earlier, “We were going to go get some pizza, do you want to come with?”

She moved her eyes to each one, all of them now having a smile on their face, a sincere one. She blinked, slightly surprised at how willing they were to offer her to come with, “I don’t want to ruin your night…”

“You wouldn’t be ruining anything,” Trevor chimed in, “We were just figuring out what to do anyway, no plans whatsoever.”

She hesitated, still unsure, but as she looked up at them she  couldn’t deny that going to get pizza with five random guys would be better than sitting on the curb alone in the cold. She nodded and whispered, “Okay. Pizza sounds good.”

Luke flashed a grin, holding his hand out to her, “Come on, let’s get out of here.” 

She took his hand, using it as an aid to stand up. The four immediately fell into step beside them, making small talk with y/n as they made their way down the street. Luke never strayed far from her, occasionally tightening the grip he still had on her hand. 

“What’s your favorite kind of pizza?” Cole stepped closer to her, leaving Jack behind to continue talking to Quinn. 

She shrugged at first before speaking softly, “Just cheese.”

Trevor came up behind her too, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he pushed Luke out of the way, “Plain cheese. My kind of girl.”

She laughed at his comment, catching her footing as Trevor leaned on her. They all continued their walk to the pizza place, stepping in and immediately being hit with the smell of pizza. THey found a table near the back and sat down, placing their drink order with the waiter that came by. 

“So, what had you sitting on the curb crying?”

She tensed slightly, not sure if she should actually tell them but she looked at all of their gazes and noticed how genuine all of them looked so she spoke up, “I was supposed to go on a date tonight. But he stood me up.”

They all collectively scoffed, “What an ass?”

“He doesn’t know what he was missing out on.”

She laughed, “You guys don’t even know me.”

“So? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out you’re a good person.”

Quinn, who had noticed the sadness still lingering in her eyes, inserted himself into the conversation, “I’m assuming that’s not it?”

She smiled sadly, “It would’ve been my first date in a month… since my ex cheated on me.”

The five of them stared at her with wide eyes, “No fucking way.”

“Yep.” Before anyone got a chance to say something, the waiter came around and handed out their drinks before taking their pizza order. 

The waiter walked away and she immediately said something before they could, “So what about you? Who are the five guys that mysteriously decided to take me under their wing for the night?”

“Well I’m Jack, this is my older brother Quinn and my younger brother Luke. And these are my best friends Cole and Trevor.”

They all waved as Jack said their names, smiling awkwardly in return. They all slowly got to know each other, y/n finding out they all played hockey and which teams they played on. She got told many childhood stories, especially about the three brothers since they had known each other for the longest obviously. Eventually, they got their pizza and continued their conversation as they ate. 

When they were done they slowly headed out the door, paying for their meal beforehand. They all stood outside the pizza place and exchanged glances with one another, “So now what?”

“Well, I should probably head home…”

“Nonsense!” Jack screamed, “Come on let’s go do something. You still need some cheering up.”

“Thank you but I don’t want to impose more than I already have.”

They all shook their heads, “Nah, come on. Let’s go to the fair.”

She was hesitant once again but she saw all of their pleading looks and gave in immediately, “Alright fine. Let’s go.”

The five of them cheered and immediately took off down the street, y/n’s laughter filling their ears.

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

They six arrived at the fair, y/n looking around in awe. It had been a while since she’d been to a fair or carnival, the bright lights overwhelming her in the slightest. She followed behind the guys, not knowing where exactly she, or they, were heading. She watched from behind them as they hit each other playfully and laughed before Cole fell behind and walked alongside her, “Hey.”

“Hi.” She looked up at him and furrowed her eyebrows, “What’s up?”

“How much do you like rides?”

“Depends on which one.”

“Ferris wheel, swings, tilt-a-whirl.”

“Ferris wheel it is.”

Cole called out to his friends, “Hey! We’re going on the ferris wheel. We’ll meet up with you later.”

The other four waved him off and y/n smiled at him, “Lead the way Caufield.”

Cole practically dragged her in the direction of the ride, hearing her laugh behind him. She squealed as she almost ran into people, yelling out apologies as they passed by. He never let up, continuing his fast paced walk, or run as y/n called it, through the crowds. She told him to slow down multiple times and even then he would only slow his pace in the slightest.

Once they finally arrived there, she panted, “Jeez. Are you trying to kill me?”

“No! I was just really excited. Now come on before the lines get too long.” She nodded and continued her pursuit after him, managing to get in line before the crowd started to gather. 

Cole grinned at her as they stood in line and y/n couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. Cole looked at her and his grin turned crooked, “What?”

“Has anyone told you how contagious your energy is?”

He shrugged, “Sometimes.”

The two continued to stand in silence, y/n gazing around at the multitude of booths that surrounded her. Some were selling food, deep fried twinkies or churros, she made a mental note to come back later to satisfy her sweet tooth. Others were selling trinkets or shirts or bracelets. She looked around at all the people, some little kids bouncing up and down with happiness as they held their parents hands, a group of teens who were taking pictures on a polaroid camera, and a couple who were holding hands and wearing matching t-shirts. Her smile quickly faded from her face and turned into a frown.

Cole noticed the sudden change in her demeanor and he didn’t let it last long, “So, you’ve ever been on a ferris wheel.”

She looked back at him, smiling softly, “Yeah, a few times, but it’s been a while. I forgot how much fun fairs were, I used to go as a kid with my family.”

“They’re the best, especially at night when you reach the top and can see almost the whole fair from up there. Magic or something.”

“Magic huh?” A teasing smile played on her lips as she nudged him. 

“Hey! Don’t judge me. It’s true.”

She just continued to smile as she faced forward, watching as the line continued to move quicker and quicker. Before she knew it, it was her and Cole’s turn to get on, the two of them quickly sitting in their seats and watching as the worker closed the cabin door. It was just Cole and y/n  in there, sitting across from one another. 

“What’s your favorite part?” She looked over at him with curious eyes.

He smiled once more before answering, “When you get to the top and are lucky enough that that’s where it stops you.”

She nodded in agreement before looking out the booth, “That’s my favorite part too.”

The two fell into a comfortable silence as the wheel took them around twice before finally stopping at the top. Her breath hitched as they stopped, not expecting it in the slightest. She couldn’t help but think back to Cole’s words earlier, it was truly magical. Every noise seemed to fall deaf on her ears as she gazed out at the lights shining brightly, the mass of people running around below her. 

“I told you.”

She hummed as she looked over at him, “Yeah you did. And for the record I never said you were wrong.”

A few moments passed before she spoke again, “Thank you… for this, for tonight.”

“No need to thank me, I’m glad we ran into you.”

That’s when the ride started to move again, bringing the two of them back to the ground. The ride worker smiled at them once more as they climbed out and waved goodbye before helping the next group of people in the car. Cole and y/n laughed as they stumbled down the road, his hand brushing up against hers. The two blushed in unison, looking down before continuing to walk down the street. 

“Want to go find the others?” Y/n nodded but slowed her pace in the slightest, “But let’s take our time, hm? We’re not in any rush are we?”

Cole grinned again, “Not one bit.”

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

When they finally found the group of them, they were in the part of the fair that hosted a majority of the carnival games. Jack swung an arm around her, “Well look who’s back. The girl of the hour!”

She blushed again as everyone’s gaze fell upon her, “Hi.”

“So how was the ferris wheel?” Trevor teased as he took a sip of his drink, his raised eyebrows still visible from behind the cup.

“Good.”

“Mhm, what y/n said.” He glared slightly at Trevor but kept his cool for the most part. 

“Haven’t been on a ferris wheel in a while, it was fun.”

“I bet,” Trevor mumbled again and received a smack on the head from Quinn. 

“So, what do you guys want to do next?” Luke interrupted, slightly ticked off from both Trevor’s antics and the blush that was on Cole and y/n’s face. 

They all looked at the girl’s face as her eyes wandered up and down the street awaiting her decision. Her gaze finally landed back on them before she spoke, “Who’s good at games?”

Four of the five of them stepped back immediately at her words leaving Luke the only one standing, “I guess that’s me.”

She took ahold of his hand and dragged him down the way to one of the games, Luke only able to send a wave quickly as he stumbled after her. He watched as she talked animatedly about the carnival games, something along the lines of never being able to win one. Something clicked in his brain and he knew he wanted to win something for her. 

They finally reached one of the booths, the two of them coming to a stop immediately, “Do you think you can win?”

She looked up at him with hopeful eyes, “I’ve been trying since I was a kid.”

He nodded, a small part of him knowing there was a chance he wouldn’t be able to but he sure as hell was determined to win. She watched as he stepped up to the worker, handing her a few bucks before picking up the miniature basketballs. 

One after another he missed but his confidence never waivered even as he continued to hand the worker money. After the third try, y/n stepped up and placed her hand on his arm, “Come on, Luke. It’s useless at this point.”

“One more. I promise.”

She relented and allowed him to hand the worker more money before picking the basketballs up again. This time, all the ones he threw made it into the wooden baskets and he cheered before bringing her into a hug and pointing up at the prizes, “Which one do you want?”

She smiled up at him, “The purple cow. Please.”

The worker nodded and took it down before handing it to the girl who beamed as she took it into her arms, “Finally. After 18 plus years.”

He laughed at her, watching as she played with the stuffed animal’s floppy ears, “You know I don’t think cows are supposed to have floppy ears.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she immediately found comfort in the gesture, “Whatever, it’s cute.”

Luke looked down at her and smiled softly, “Yeah, sure is.”

Oblivious to Luke’s gaze and true meaning of his words, she spoke, “C’mon let’s go show everyone what you won me. My hero.”

He chuckled again before leading her back to the group but going as slow as possible to not have to completely leave her side too early. She looked back up at him with a playful smirk, “So Luke, is this your secret talent? Winning impossible carnival games?”

He laughed, shaking his head, “Not this time. I think I just got lucky.”

“Lucky huh? Or maybe you’re just too stubborn to give up…” She urged.

He shrugged, “Maybe a little bit of both. But it was worth it to see you smile like that.”

A new blush rose to her cheeks and she changed her gaze to the ground, letting Luke guide her through the crowds, clutching the stuffed cow even closer to her.

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

“Look what Luke won me!” She hopped over to the group of boys who snapped their heads to look at her. 

They nodded, less enthusiastic than the girl but still trying to make it seem like they were. Quinn was the first one, “How long did it take him?”

Luke rolled his eyes at his older brother, “Oh shut up.”

“I was just asking!”

Y/n shook her head at the banter and stepped away as they continued to argue back and forth. She ended up next to Jack who immediately took notice that she was now by his side, “Hey there.”

“Hi.”

For a while they didn’t say anything, just watching the fight between Luke and Quinn. Then y/n nudged his side and whispered in his ear, “Fried Twinkie?”

He nodded and grinned walking away with her towards the food. The two made their way down, a lot of the crowd had dispersed to the shows now that they had started. There was a small line forming outside of the food truck that sold the fried twinkies, so the two just stood and made small talk as they waited, “So… fried twinkies, huh? Your go-to carnival snack?”

“Yep, always has been. It’s a classic, too. I’ve been eyeing them since I got to the ferris wheel with Cole.”

“Always has been? How many times have you been?”

They moved up with the line and she shoved her hands in the pockets of her shorts, “I used to go all the time with my family when we were kids, but when my siblings grew up and started relenting ‘family quality time’ we just stopped kind of going.”

Jack nodded, “Yeah, I feel that. I mean once we all started to get more serious about hockey we all just kind of forgot to do stuff like that, or at least it was hard to go out without people recognizing us.”

They finally reached the front of the line, the vendor smiling at them happily as he rang up the two fried twinkies. Y/n watched as Jack swiped his card, grateful that the boys had been basically spoiling her since they picked her up on the side of the street. It was hard to believe that this all happened because someone stood her up but she couldn’t find it in herself to care at this point. 

She jumped slightly when she noticed Jack’s hand wave in front of her face, “Lost you there for a sec. Here is your fried Twinkie, m’lady.”

“Why thank you kind sir.” 

The two made their way over to one of the many benches that was set up on the grass. Y/n sat the purple cow on the table next to her, taking a bite of the treat, “I forgot how good these were.”

“I forgot how bad for you these are.”

“Oh come on, you can’t tell me you don’t indulge in something sweet once in a while, especially since it’s the summer.”

Jack smirked, “I never said that. I just meant that this is fucking greasy as hell.”

She only nodded, taking another bite. The two sat in silence as they ate and then she saw Jack’s hand reaching out, “What’re-”

His thumb landed on the corner of her mouth, wiping some of the filling of the twinkie away, “You got a little something there.”

Her cheeks flushed at the action, though she couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or flustered. Once they were done, they threw their trash away and y/n resumed her grasp on her cow, “Thanks for coming with me.”

“‘Course, I’m glad you’re having a great time. You deserve it, especially after… well you know.”

She frowned slightly and nodded, “Yeah.”

“Hey come on. No frowns anymore. The night isn’t over yet!”

“Oh, it’s not?”

“Nope! I heard there was this karaoke or dance thing happening soon, we’re definitely going. Let’s go find the guys.”

She lagged at his words and ran after him.

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

The two ran up to the group, Jack practically crashing into Cole, “Whoops sorry.”

Cole shoved him back and y/n laughed at the interaction, “Alright so what’s this I hear about dancing?”

“Well we were going to go to karaoke, but someone said no.”

Eyes turned to Luke who shrugged innocently, “What? I don’t really want to get on stage and sing in front of a bunch of people.”

“Buzzkill. But there’s a band performing right now so we figured we’d go check that out.”

Y/n nodded, “Akright.”

The six of them made their way through the fair, walking to one of the many stages they had there. Y/n reached for the closest hand, which happened to be Quinn’s, scared of getting lost in the crowds. Quinn looked down at her and smiled gently, “Nervous?”

“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed.”

He squeezed her hand, “Well I got you.”

A pink tint covered her cheeks for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. They navigated their way close to the middle of the group, nodding their heads along to the beat of whatever song the band was playing. 

As they settled into the middle of the crowd, the energy of the live music began to seep into Y/N’s bones. The band was playing an upbeat, catchy tune that had the entire audience swaying and moving along to the rhythm. Y/n finally let herself relax into the swing of the crowd.

Quinn, still holding her hand, leaned down to be heard over the music. “Feeling better?”

She nodded, giving him a grateful smile. “Yeah, thanks. This is actually pretty fun.”

“Good,” he replied, his eyes twinkling with warmth.

As the band transitioned into a slower, more melodic song, Y/N noticed that couples around them started to pair off, swaying together in time with the music. She hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do, but before she could overthink it, Jack nudged her playfully.

“Come on, Y/N,” he said with a grin. “You can’t just stand there. Dance with us!”

Before she could respond, Jack took her other hand, spinning her around playfully before pulling her into a gentle sway. Quinn didn’t let go of her other hand, so she found herself dancing between the two of them, feeling a bit like she was in a scene from a movie.

“See? Not so bad, right?” Jack said, his voice light and teasing.

“Not bad at all,” she agreed, laughing as they continued to sway together.

Cole, Trevor, and Luke were nearby, each of them doing their own version of dancing, Trevor of course going completely against the rhythm of the music. As the song progressed, Jack eventually stepped back, letting Quinn take over fully. Y/N looked up at him, their eyes meeting in a way that made her heart flutter. The earlier awkwardness she’d felt was gone, replaced by a sense of comfort.

“You’re a pretty good dancer,” she commented, trying to keep the conversation light even as her heart raced.

Quinn chuckled, his hand still holding hers as they moved together to the music. “Thanks. I guess all those weddings and family events paid off.”

She smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her chest that had nothing to do with the summer night air. “Well, you all are definitely making this night unforgettable.”

Quinn’s gaze softened, and for a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the crowd. “I’m glad. You deserve it.”

“That is the second time someone has said that to me tonight.”

“Oh really?” Quinn’s eyes shined with amusement, “I guess that means it’s true.”

As the song came to an end, they slowly stopped swaying, neither of them eager to let go. But the upbeat music quickly returned, and the moment passed, replaced by the lively energy of the fair.

Jack reappeared, playfully pulling Y/N away from Quinn with a grin. “Alright, enough of the slow stuff. Let’s see if you can keep up with me!”

She laughed, letting him drag her back into the group where they all started dancing together, the worries of the earlier part of the night completely forgotten. They spent the next hour losing themselves in the music, joking around, and simply enjoying each other’s company.

By the time the band announced their final song, Y/N was out of breath, her cheeks flushed from both the exertion and the pure joy she felt. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had this much fun, or felt this free. And as the music wound down, the crowd began to disperse, yet the six of them had stayed together, watching everyone push their way out to the entrance of the fair.

Y/n all of a sudden felt heavy and she could feel herself growing increasingly tired. Trevor was the first to notice this, immediately taking a position by her side and letting her lay against him, “Someone’s getting tired.” His voice was light and teasing as he looked down at her.

She mumbled something incoherently, digging her face into the boy’s shoulder. The five of them laughed at her before agreeing to head back to the car. Trevor and Quinn took the main job of helping her walk back to the parking lot, all of them equally as tired as the girl, their feet aching. 

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

When they reached the car, Luke climbed into the back seat and watched as Trevor and Quinn helped the girl into the middle row. Trevor sat in the middle, Y/n on his left and Cole on his right, as Quinn hopped into the driver’s seat with Jack in the passenger side. 

Trevor shook her slightly, trying to get her to wake enough so she could tell them where she lived or where to drop her off. Y/n blinked her eyes open slowly, looking up at him, “Hm?”

“Gotta tell us where to take you, pretty girl.”

“Wanna sleep.”

Trevor chuckled, “I know you do and you can once you tell us where you live.” 

He slid a phone into her hands and she slowly typed out her address into the search bar of the maps before handing it back to him. He thanked her and handed the phone to Jack who then plugged the phone into one of the charging cords, Siri’s voice making its way to everyone’s ears through the speakers. 

Y/n resummed her position laying against Trevor. She shivered slightly, the drastic temperature change affecting her greatly. Trevor let a smile tug at his lips as he reached into the backseat where Luke was to place it around her. She whispered a ‘thanks’ before resuming her previous action, curling into his side.

Although she was tired, her mind didn’t seem to allow her to sleep so she opened her eyes and tried to find something to focus on. Her gaze landed upon Trevor’s arm, the one littered with tattoos. She couldn’t help but be mesmerized by them and she let her eyes trace up the length of his forearm to his bicep. 

Trevor could feel her stare and finally looked back over to her before speaking softly, “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothin.”

“I can feel you looking, sweetheart.”

She blushed at the nickname although the only tell tale sign was whenever they would pass a street light that lit up her face. He chuckled at her shyness before nudging her again, “You can touch if you want princess. I don’t mind.”

Y/n looked up at him, “Really?”

He nodded, “Go ahead.”

She hesitated at first before letting her hand lay atop his arm, her fingers slowly beginning to trace the ink. She let the silence comfort her and slowly lull her to sleep to start with but then the question burned at the back of her mind, “Do they mean anything?”

“Yes and no, but mostly no. Just things I thought were cool I guess.”

She let out a soft murmur of amusement and continued the path of the shapes his arm had. Slowly she fell asleep and before she knew it they were pulling up to her apartment. Trevor had to be careful with maneuvering her but eventually he was able to pick her up and carry her up the stairs. 

As respectful as Luke could, he reached into her pocket to pull out her keys and unlocked the door. Quinn, Jack, Cole and Luke trailed behind Trevor, all of them finding their way to her bedroom. The five exchanged looks as they stood watching her, “Should we leave or note or something?”

“Probably. I don’t know how much she’s going to remember when she wakes up.”

The others nodded in agreement and slowly filled out of her bedroom but not before kissing her softly on the head and making sure the covers surrounded her entirely and that the curtains in her room were closed all the way. 

They reached the kitchen and searched for pieces of paper, each of them writing their own note with their name and phone number scribbled underneath it. It wasn’t the neatest thing they ever wrote, especially considering that it was mostly dark inside the apartment. Soon after they all left, making sure the lock was secure before walking back to the car and driving away.

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

In the morning, y/n woke up groaning slightly. She couldn’t remember what had happened last night except for the fact that she had been stood up. She sat up in bed and looked down at her arms which were clad in a sweatshirt she didn’t recognize. Slowly the memories of the previous night slowly came back to her and she couldn’t help the smile that graced her face. 

She got out of bed and walked to the kitchen, now noticing that she didn’t know if she would ever see the five again. That was until she noticed the five pieces of paper laid out on her kitchen counter, all in different handwriting. 

She made her way over to the counter, sitting at one of the chairs she had there and taking her time reading each note individually. The smile was predominantly stuck to her face as she typed each number into her phone, creating contacts for each of them. 

Finally, she made a group chat with all of them before sending a text, “Hey, this is y/n. Thank you all for last night, it meant a lot to me. I hope it wasn’t just a one time thing, I would enjoy seeing you all again.”

And within minutes of her sending the text, all of them had hearted her message and sent her each a message.

꒰ NEW JERSEY DEVILS, VANCOUVER CANUCKS, MISCELLANEOUS TAGLIST ꒱

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[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch.6 devil's advocate

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem reader, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, mentions of weed, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot

ᰔ chapter. 6/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 10.7k

a/n. so sorry for the wait! i'm really excited for this chapter, it's one that i've been waiting for since before i even started the series, and it was a lot of fun to write. i hope you enjoooy <3 if there are typos, your mind is just playing tricks on you

nav. masterlist

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1

♬.*ﾟplaylist

Life after realizing you had feelings for Gojo Satoru seemed to pass by in slow-motion, as you spent a significant portion of the day consumed by thoughts of him. Although it was against your better judgment, it was nice to have your mind occupied by something that wasn’t career stress, school stress, or financial stress. It’s been a minute since you’ve felt this way about someone, and it was healthy to indulge in some escapism, right? 

You find yourself scrolling through his Instagram page for the second third time today, captivated by the attractive photos of him in his soccer uniform, kicking at the ball with a determined look on his face. Your gaze fixates on the blue follow-back button staring back at you on his page, remembering that you still haven’t followed him back. Pulling your phone away from your line of sight, you glance up at the ceiling, take a deep breath, and swiftly tap the blue button. You clutch your phone to your chest right after, surprised by the butterflies in your stomach, but it’s only ten seconds before you’re back to perusing his photos. 

You sigh dreamily from where you were laid back on your bed. Mina looks up at you from her desk with an irritated expression on her face. 

“What’s with the dreamy sighing every thirty seconds? I’m trying to study here,” she says to you.

You throw her a look. “Oh please, I’ve had to deal with your dreamy sighs every single time you were on the phone with Todo for the past two weeks. You can handle a few of mine.”

Mina’s eyes widen at your words and she turns in her chair to look at you intently. “Wait…who are you dreamily sighing for?”

You blink in response. “Oh, uh. No one? I mean, what’s that one actor’s name–the one in that show we were watching?” You tap your finger to your lip, pretending to be in deep thought, but Mina wasn’t buying any of it since she promptly stood up from her chair and snatched your phone out of your hand. You yelp and sit up on your bed to try and grab it back from her but she has that I was the eldest sibling in my household grip on your phone. 

“Is this…Gojo Satoru’s Instagram page?” she asks, extending your phone out in front of her and tilting her head to the side at the screen, as though she was trying to wrap her head around it.

“Stop! You’ll accidentally tap on something,” you’re squealing at her, arms flailing out in an attempt to grab at your phone. She eventually hands it back to you and you’re sighing with relief before flopping back down onto your bed, fingers eagerly swiping up on the screen to make sure she didn’t accidentally like one of his posts from four months ago. 

“Are you crushing on Gojo Satoru?” Mina asks with her hands on her hips.

You meet her gaze with a hint of guilt. You haven’t kept Mina up-to-speed on a lot of the things that have happened within the past three weeks, including the night last week when Gojo stayed with you out on the road after you got your flat tire and then kissed you. It’s been about five days since then, and you feel that if you fessed up now, she’d be mad that you didn’t tell her right away. 

“I’m…” you start as you look at her and she raises an eyebrow at you that makes you sheepishly sit up on your bed, pretty much kneeling in front of her. “Maybe. A little bit? I don’t know.”

She looks at you with surprise before walking backwards and sitting onto her bed, facing you. She presses her lips together, deep in thought, and there’s an almost concerned expression on her face. “When did this develop?”

You end up explaining pretty much everything that has happened between you and Gojo as of recently, her face staying neutral through even the most surprising details, and by the time you’re done explaining and waiting for her to give a response, you realize you’re tensing your shoulders and holding your breath.

She sighs, sulking a little and her bed frame creaks underneath the mattress. “I can’t believe you kissed Gojo Satoru and you didn’t tell me about it, like, practically the second after it happened. Also, you never told me that’s why you called me that night! It makes sense now why your car has been in ‘service’ for almost an entire week. I feel so horrible you went through that and I wasn’t there for you.”

“It’s okay,” you assure her with a small smile. “I’m fine. It was really nerve-wracking in the moment,” you say as you glance down at your hands, twiddling with your thumbs as the memories of that night flash through your mind. “But having him there really helped calm me down,” you admit in a hushed tone. When you look up at Mina, she wears a soft and knowing expression on her face.

“That’s good, I’m glad,” she murmurs and returns your smile with one of her own, but her eyes still look at you with caution.

“What’s wrong?” you ask. 

“Nothing’s wrong, it’s just I don’t really know Gojo that well. From what you’re telling me, he seems like a nice guy,” she comments, “but the fact he’s been really diligent in following-through with this whole film photography assignment of yours makes me wonder where his head’s at with you.” She finishes her sentence, but you continue to watch her since you could tell she had more on her tongue. “I just hope he’s not messing with you.” 

“Messing with me?” you ask her. There’s a part of you deep inside that’s wondering the same thing, but the thought of having to confront that feeling in order to get an answer makes you want to stay in blissful ignorance instead. 

She worries her bottom lip between her teeth and looks at you for a few seconds. “Maybe I’m overthinking it. It’s just a crush, right?” Her phone chimes with an alarm noise and she grabs it to turn it off. “Oh shoot, I’m going to be late for class,” she groans, leaping up off of her bed and stuffing all of her things on her desk into her bag. She gives you a goodbye over her shoulder just before she heads out of your shared room and then you’re all by yourself. 

Mina’s last question to you hangs in the air. You didn’t really know how you would’ve answered, because you didn’t know what you expected to come from your feelings, if anything at all. You’ve had feelings for plenty of other guys before, some turning into something more and others turning into nothing at all. Having feelings for someone wasn’t really something to worry about or complicate. 

You lay back down onto your bed with a sigh and go to the messages on your phone, clicking on Gojo’s name. It was so bizarre that he was now in your list of actual text messages since you had his number now, but the two of you have only exchanged a few texts since that night you last saw him. He sent over his practice schedule for the week, which was pretty packed and busy since their big game on the 28th was in just two days, and when you zoom in on the picture you see that he has practice in about ten minutes from now. You assumed that since he never texted you about it, they were probably just doing drills out on the field or some other exercises. But you missed him, and you wished that you did have an excuse to visit him. You didn’t care about tweaking your camera angles, fixing the exposure, or trying out different light sensitivities for your photos so they come out immaculate. You just wanted to see him again.

Tossing your phone to your side, suddenly frustrated by how mentally drained you feel, you look around the room and decide to tidy up a bit to distract yourself from all your emotions. As you start to pick things up off your desk and place them back on the shelf, you notice that you still have a netted bag full of washed laundry to fold. You dump all of the clothing onto your bed, consisting of sports bras, multiple pairs of jeans, your nice panties and also your grandma undies. One of the articles of clothing catches your eye, and you pull it out from the pile. It was Gojo’s jacket. 

Your heart skips a beat in your chest as you take in the sight of it, all the memories of that night flashing back into your head. You remember the chill of the air, the deep sound of his voice beside you, the gentle look in his eyes, his lips pressed against yours. Gojo had kissed you, so that had to have meant something, right? Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing, an emotional decision because the two of you were alone, and it was dark, and it was cold, and you two were reveling in each other’s warmth, but it was still something he initiated. It was so brief, the moment cut so tragically short that you still find yourself craving more despite the fact it happened almost a week ago. Mina wasn’t home that night, and instead of spending the rest of it curled up by yourself like you ended up doing, you could’ve easily invited him inside. You wonder if he would’ve taken you up on the offer, and how far you two would’ve gone. And now, because you were imaging it, you find it in your heart that you wanted it. Before you know it, those feelings you swore you wouldn’t complicate started to feel complicated. If all the novels, movies, poems, and folklore of this world have been any indicator, when it comes to matters of the heart, it’s always impossible to defy. 

You bring the jacket to your chest, the fabric now smelling like the laundry detergent that all of your other clothes smell like, and no longer of him. It was the polite thing to do to wash it, but the absence of his scent on the soft material just made you miss him even more. 

Closing your eyes in disbelief at the thought that crosses your mind, you resolve to act now and deal with whatever comes later. If you wanted to see him, you were going to see him. Besides, wanting to hand his jacket back to him wasn’t so bad of an excuse to drop by, right? What if it was a deeply sentimental article of clothing that is agonizing for him to be apart from? (a/n. he doesn’t even realize you still have it lol)

You grab your tote bag as well as his jacket and head out of your apartment, down to the ground floor, and walk down the street until you reach the bus stop that takes you to campus. You make it there in about forty minutes, the bus dropping you off near the central area. As you start walking towards the expensive art sculpture near the practice fields, you pass by the school’s mini convenience store and the bottles of strawberry vanilla soda splayed out in the display case catches your eye. You then find yourself inside buying two cans. One for him, one for you. Maybe he’ll be open to hanging out after practice, and you could properly treat him to something nice for all of his help. 

Soon enough, you’re walking across the grassy hills that lead to the field. It was a slightly gloomy day today, with the sun only peaking through the clouds every five minutes or so, but it was still beautiful and something about the fresh air made your chest swell with ease. Just as you get closer, you notice Geto and Nanami walking together in your direction.

“Oh, it’s y/n!” you hear Geto say when you approach them.

You greet the two of them with a smile. “Hello, it’s nice to see you two. Are you finished with practice?”

“No, we’ve still got about two hours left, but we just finished a pretty intense set of drills so coach is giving us a fifteen,” Geto says through strained breathing, and you finally notice that the two of them looked sweaty and spent. “What’s that in your arms?”

You look down at the strawberry vanilla sodas you were carrying and then back up at the two of them. “Oh…I just wanted to bring some soda for mr. center forward, as a thanks for getting me referee permission to be on-field on Thursday.” 

Nanami crosses his arms across his chest and Geto’s eyes widen. “Damn, wish I had a cute girl go out of her way to bring me strawberry-flavored soda mid practice,” Geto muses.

“I don’t think Satoru deserves this level of kindness, y/n,” Nanami tells you with a shake of his head. Geto looks over at him with a wry expression before letting out a small laugh. 

You give the two of them a smile. “No, really, he’s been helpful. Is he out on the field?” you ask, standing on tiptoes to try and peer over their shoulders towards the field.

“Yeah, he is, I think he stayed back since Coach Yaga was yelling at him about something,” Geto answers and he takes a glance at his watch, “he usually doesn’t stick around to take the lecturing for longer than two minutes so he’s probably somewhere hanging around nearby.” 

“That’s good. Coach Yaga scares me,” you admit to the two of them, pretending to shiver at the thought of him yelling, and this earns a smile from Nanami. 

“He’s really not that scary of a guy, just pretends to be one,” Geto informs you then lets out an exhale and places his hands on his hips after fully regaining his breath. “So, you’re going to be on the field with us on Thursday? That’s awesome, please cheer for us. Also, you should come out to the house party the night before the game.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “You guys still party before your big games?”

Geto laughs. “I always forget you’re not in a sorority. Yeah, we do, I think the frat just wants an excuse to go crazy and picks our game schedule to go off of. You’ve no idea how many of our players have been in massive shit by showing up hungover to games.” 

Nanami lets out a disgruntled noise. “It’s irresponsible, honestly.”

You give an apologetic laugh before fidgeting with the soda cans in your arms, eventually throwing them into your tote, and then peering over their shoulders once more as an impatient feeling washes over you, the desire from earlier to see Gojo consuming you in a way that was entirely distracting. Nanami seems to notice this as he uncrosses his arms and slightly nudges Geto with his elbow. Geto sends him a curious glance before looking back at you.

“Well, anyway. If you’re free tomorrow night, come by. Pre-game parties are usually pretty hype. Yuuji’s bouncing, so he’ll let you in,” Geto says to you, giving you a kind smile.

“Yeah, I’ll try to make it,” you say, returning his smile. The two of them walk past you and you continue to trek forwards until you reach the large hill that oversees the field. 

Once you’re at the top, your eyes immediately scan the field for Gojo, and you quickly spot him at the foot of the hill talking to some people. You notice the group surrounding him weren’t wearing athletic clothing of any sort, so you assumed they were just his friends. He had a bright smile on his face and just the sight of it created a warmth within you. As you begin to stumble down the hill, your legs hasty in their stride, you see him leaning down forward towards one of the girls in the group with a playful look on his face. The girl looks up at him with a tilt of her head and you hear feminine, high-pitched laughter in the air as she steps closer to him, swatting at his chest from something he says. He’s fully grinning at her now, and it’s so painfully obvious they’re flirting that the feeling in your chest that was so excited to see him quickly turns sour. 

He somehow catches you standing at the bottom of the hill in his periphery and his eyes widen. There’s a moment where you hesitate, but eventually take a deep breath and make your way through the crowd. A few within the group let out confused noises from the disruption and then you were standing right in front of Gojo. 

“Who’s this?” one of his friends asks, particularly annoyed since you had accidentally nudged him to the side in your stride. You could feel the wide eyes from the men and the curious glares from the women. 

Gojo’s standing there shocked, likely from the fact that he wasn’t expecting you to be here, and then glances around to the people in the group. “Oh, just someone I…” he starts, his facial expression softening slightly when he looks back at you, but you’re giving him a guarded expression, “...know.” 

Your mouth opens slightly in disbelief, before you quickly close it. It’s true that you didn’t really know what you and Gojo were at the moment, it’s possible you would’ve answered the same, but his description of the nature of your relationship with him still hurts. He could’ve at least said your name or introduced you. And your disappointment from his words made you realize an unsettling truth, which was that you did want more from him, and you weren’t sure if that was something he was interested in at all. 

The girl he was talking to earlier is glaring daggers at your side, and you suddenly feel suffocated surrounded by a group of people watching you with interest. The man in front of you, despite getting to know him for the better part of the past three weeks, started to feel like a stranger to you all over again. You shove his jacket to his chest, and he looks down at it with surprise before hesitantly grabbing onto it. 

“Just wanted to return your jacket,” you mumble to him, trying so hard to sound neutral and sane. “I washed it for you.”

You hear a few of the men surrounding you coo something suggestive, a few laughs making their way between them as the women in the group scoff in denial. You ignore them and keep your gaze on Gojo. He’s looking straight down at you and scanning your features, and you notice his face briefly contorts into one of guilt when he registers the disappointed look on your face. 

Reaching into your bag, you pause when you see the two cans of strawberry vanilla soda sitting at the bottom, the smiling cartoon mascot faces on the labeling staring up at you like some pitiful conscience. You reached in and grabbed one regardless, then extended it to Gojo. He blinks at it before looking up at you. When he doesn’t immediately grab it, you also shove it to his chest until he does. When his fingertips make contact with your hand as he takes it from you, the contact sends a shiver down your spine. 

You bite your lip, faltering before you speak again. “For your help. Officially even now.” Then you turn around and push through the strangers spectating the whole scene to make it over to the grassy hills. You vaguely hear Gojo call your name out from behind you, his voice quickly drowned out by the voices of those surrounding him as they continue conversation, and soon enough you’re out of sight over the hill. 

—

“So, you’re telling me that this guy goes out of his way to help you for this class assignment, in a way that’s unproportionate to the favor that you put in for him, he flirtatiously teases you any chance he gets, drives out late at night to stay with you when you’re stranded with a flat, has an earnest conversation with you about life, kisses you, diligently takes care of you until you’re home safe, and then when you run into him in front of his friends, he says you’re just someone he knows?” Mina’s recounting every single painful detail as she paces around in your shared room. “I know you both haven’t had a conversation about anything after that night, which is insane because you should’ve, but at least he could’ve said you were a friend?” 

You scoff from where you’re laid down on your bed. “I caught him sliding his hands up a girl’s top in the bathroom at that SAE party last week, and when he tried to explain the situation to me he said that he and that girl are just friends. So, by his definition, we’re definitely not friends.”

Mina sighs. “Honestly, y/n, I know he’s charming and he’s been nice to you, but he still has a reputation for being a player.” 

You look up at the ceiling, your pillow clutched in your arms for emotional support. “He almost looked like he didn’t even want me there. Like I was an unwelcome interruption. Some sort of nuisance.” You weren’t sure exactly how to read the expression he had on his face from your unexpected visit, but your brain had a habit of settling on the worst. 

Mina sits down at her desk, turning her chair to face you. You were fully sulking like a heart-broken teenager and you didn’t understand why. He wasn’t any sort of title to you, and you haven’t even known him for that long. Barely a couple weeks ago, you were still resolved to the fact that he was some sort of mystery. An urban legend around campus that you couldn’t believe you were talking to because people like him didn’t usually talk to people like you. 

“Why don’t you just ask him how he feels about you? Put an end to the guessing game. Be like ‘hey, jerk, I know it’s common-place for frat dudes to kiss girls like they’re a dime a dozen. But that’s not gonna fly with me, so fess up on your intentions’. Something like that,” Mina suggests, waving a finger in the air.

You glance at her annoyed. “Were you trying to do an impression of me? I don’t talk like that.”

“You kind of do, love,” she says with a smile on her face. 

You look back up at the ceiling. “...I don’t want to have that conversation with him. It’ll hurt my pride. He should’ve been the one asking me what we are now, since he’s the one that kissed me.” You turn to gauge her opinion at your words, but her expression isn’t giving any hints. “Is that petty? I feel like I’m being petty.”

“No, girl, I agree with you,” she says with a sigh, “that’s how it should be, but almost never ends up being the case.” She looks up at the ceiling briefly, a thought forming in her head, before looking down at you with a sly smile. 

“What?” you ask, already wearily anticipating her response.

“You want to know how to find out how he feels about you without asking him how he feels about you?” she says like it was some sort of sales pitch.

You turn onto your side and perch yourself up on your elbow, a little too interested. “How?”

She snaps her fingers. “Make him jealous.”

You look at her apprehensively. “Jealous?”

“I mean, that’s the foolproof way to tell how a guy really feels about you. Based on how he reacts when he sees another guy’s tongue shoved down your throat,” she says with a playful shrug.

You flop down on the bed again. “Now that’s petty.” You hug your pillow to your chest again, considering the option. You didn’t even know if Gojo would feel jealous if you tried to make him jealous, it’s possible he wouldn’t even care at all if he saw you with another guy. 

“Yes, petty, but so what? We’re seniors in college, now’s our last chance to be petty. After we graduate, we’ve got to be fully functioning members of society,” she sighs, “you only get to be a petty college chick once.”

“How would I make him jealous?” you ask, still dwelling on her suggestion.

“Well, SAE is having that pre-game party tonight, he’s definitely going to be there. It’s your chance,” she says, tapping at her phone to glance at the time. 

You hum to yourself. The mature part of you is telling you that it’s a ridiculous idea, but the angel on your shoulder that has weathered the pain of all your confusing feelings as of lately was starting to play devil’s advocate. After a minute’s silence, you cover your face with your hand and groan. “Oh god.”

Mina looks up at you again. “What?”

“I’m gonna do it,” you say, swinging your feet over to the edge of the bed so you’re sitting up, pillow still hugged to your chest as you look at her. “I’m going to go find out how he really feels about me.”

Mina’s smiling at you and hops onto her feet. “Finally. I’ve been waiting for the toxic version of you to make her appearance.”

There was still a couple of hours before the party, so you take a shower and spend some time doing your hair as well as makeup. Wearing your robe, you walk over to your dresser and open it to pull out a pair of jeans when Mina looks over at you and sighs. You send her a look and she makes her way over to you, nudging you to the side with her hip and shoving your jeans back into the drawer.

“You’re not wearing jeans to this party,” she groans, “do I seriously have to teach you everything?” Mina starts shifting through the clothes you had hung up on your hangers, eyes landing on something that was tucked away to the side. She pulls out your black dress, the one that had long, skin tight sleeves with a sweetheart neckline and the short hem that barely fell to the middle of your thighs. She pats at the soft and silky material, pulling on it in an attempt to smooth out one of the wrinkles. “Oh, yes, honey. This will definitely do.”

“It’s wrinkled,” you say in a poor attempt to get out of wearing it. 

“Nothing my straightener set at 350 degrees won’t fix,” she says to you with a wink.

It takes Mina three minutes to prepare your dress for you while you anxiously pace around the room, fidgeting to yourself, and she eventually hands it to you to wear. The dress had an A-line silhouette cinched at the waist and the top half was tight, so you decided not to wear a bra with it. Just as you’re about to pull on a pair of biker shorts underneath to cover a bit more since the short fabric was hardly doing much, Mina sends you another disappointed look. 

“y/n, please, you’re killing me here,” she says. “To make him jealous, you’ve gotta get other guys to look at you. That might mean being a bit risque with the attire tonight.”

You sulk your shoulders before sighing and tossing your biker shorts back into your closet. You turn around to face the mirror, petting down the fabric of your dress over you and tousling with your hair before gasping a little as you take in your entire appearance. You looked good, and Mina’s playful cat-call from behind you only gave you a greater kick of confidence. 

“Love it, cute but sexy at the same time,” she says with a smile. “It’s your turn to be the hottie at the party.”

You two decide to take an Uber to the frat strip, arriving at the host house close to 10pm, and you can already hear the loud chanting and music inside. As you make your way up to the driveway, a gust of wind breezes by and your hands immediately hold down the fabric of your dress in an attempt to not flash the group of people walking behind the two of you. Mina looks over at you with a mischievous smile. You make eye contact with Yuuji at the entrance and he straightens his posture when he sees you and Mina approaching.

“Hello, ladies. I see we’ve switched roles here tonight,” Yuuji says with a tip of his head. “Bombshell friend,” he gestures to you, “and-”

“If you call me a casual tomboy, I can’t guarantee I won’t smack you,” Mina says to him.

Yuuji blinks at her. “Head on in,” he mumbles and you two walk past him.

It hits you as you walk inside that this is the third SAE party that you’ve been to within the past three weeks, and yet the atmosphere still surprises you every time. The music was loud, but at this one, the people chanting was even louder. You notice there were posters and flags with the school’s colors and symbols plastered up and hanging from the staircase, as well as pinned up jerseys on the walls that looked a lot like the ones that the soccer players wear during matches. Oh, and derogatory insults for the opposing school were drawn across all the decorations.

“I’m going to go find Todo,” Mina says to you with excitement and then she’s skipping off into the heart of the party, leaving you alone.

You sigh and fidget with the sleeves of your dress, looking around the party, your heart beating fast in your chest at the prospect that you’ll lock eyes with Gojo but you don’t see him anywhere. As you walk inside, you notice that people are looking at you, and when you make eye contact with some, you notice a lot of them were men, and the attention has you itching for a drink. You quickly make your way into the kitchen and are satisfied when you see the insane amount of options that you can reach for on the island. You grab a White Claw, crack the can open and when you turn around, you jump a little from the sight of a person in front of you.

“Woah, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” the man in front of you says with an apologetic look on his face, and you recognize him as the one that was bouncing the last SAE party that you went to last weekend. “Just going to reach around you to grab…that.” He reaches around you to grab an entire bottle of tequila, his arm brushing against yours and his eyes meet yours with a smile on his face. “I remember you from last week. You’re stunning by the way, what’s your name?”

You tell him and he’s nodding his head slowly, a cheeky look on his face that you’re used to seeing when guys attempt small talk to distract from the other less-than-innocent things they have floating around in their heads. “Nice, I’m Ryota,” he says as he adjusts the snap-back he was wearing on his head, “you, uh, in a sorority?” He leans back against the kitchen counter in front of you and you wonder if grabbing the tequila was just an excuse to talk to you.

You find yourself turning away from him slightly, taking a huge gulp of the White Claw you had in your hands to realize that 8% ALC./VOL was not going to be enough to get you through the night, so you turned to face him again. “No, I’m not. Are you going to drink all that tequila by yourself or are you looking to share?”

He smirks at you. “There’s enough for two.” 

You and this man you met literally two minutes ago cheers a few shots, throwing them back, and you notice that he does them almost effortlessly while you’re wincing from the fact that it’s been a long time since you’ve had hard liquor. He’s chuckling at your reactions as your face scrunches up from your third shot and you wave your hand in front of your face from the burn. A few people that walk in and out of the kitchen periodically give the two of you amused looks before walking back out into the loud party nearby. 

“Can’t handle your alcohol?” Ryota asks and you sigh, your face already feeling flushed.

“I can, I swear,” you whine.

“Here, wanna?” he says to you as he hands you another shot and then he holds his outstretched arm up. You think he’s trying to cheers, so you tap his shot glass, and then he’s laughing. “No, hold your arm out.” You do as he says and he holds his arm against yours and soon enough he’s taking a step closer to you and you’re interlocking your arms at the elbow. You let out a small gasp from his proximity but his eyes on you are unwavering. He brings his shot glass to his lips and you do the same and then you both tip your heads back, the burn in your throat making you unwind your arm from him and shake your head until you’re leaning back against the island counter and you hear him laugh again in front of you.

“Y/n?” a familiar voice calls out that instantly sobers you up from the four shots of tequila you so valiantly threw back. 

The two of you turn your heads to look at the source of the voice, and you see Gojo standing at the entrance of the kitchen. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of him and you feel your heart skip a beat in your chest, still so shocked at just how breathtaking he was anytime you saw him. He was holding an empty bottle of alcohol in his hands. You straighten your posture but Ryota still leans against the counter nonchalantly.

“Hey, what’s up dude. Sorry, I was about to circle back with more tequila, but I got caught up in here,” Ryota says and flashes you a smile. “Do you know y/n here?” 

You observe Gojo, who wears a tense expression in response to hearing his words, and then he locks eyes with you. A look of surprise swiftly passes across his face as he takes in your appearance, and you feel as if you're practically burning under his gaze. He looks back at Ryota and furrows his brow. 

“Yeah, I do,” he mutters and rudely pushes right in between the two of you to make it to the fridge. “Seems like you do, too.” 

Ryota seems to pick up on something from Gojo's tone that you don’t, because suddenly he’s standing up straight from the counter and turns to look at you with a contemplative expression. "I'll bring the tequila, or what's left of it I guess, out there," he mentions to Gojo, excusing himself with a brief glance in your direction. As he leaves and turns around the corner, a noticeable weight hangs in the air from how you and Gojo are alone in the kitchen now.

You lean back against the island, reaching for the White Claw you had opened earlier and take another sip. There was a muted buzz lingering in your head, and it felt good, offering a pretty welcome distraction from the fact that Gojo was standing just a few feet away from you, searching for something in the fridge. When he doesn’t seem to find what he’s looking for, he closes the fridge door with a louder-than-normal slam, startling you, and then he turns around to face you.

“Didn’t know you’d be here,” he declares with an edge to his voice, and you’re already rolling your eyes.

“Sorry, pal, should I send you a notarized attendance letter three business days in advance so I don’t end up cock-blocking you in a bathroom again?” you sneer at him. 

He leans back against the fridge, facing you as he crosses his arms across his chest. Damn it, don’t stare at the muscles. Don’t do it. “What’s with the attitude?” 

“I don’t have an attitude, this is just how I talk to my acquaintances,” you retort as you take another sip of your drink.

He takes a step forward to you, eyes shamelessly dipping to the neckline of your dress and then a little bit further to where the hem grazes your thighs. He places his palm on the counter behind you that you were resting back on and then he’s leaning closer to you, your grip on the can in your hand tightening. He was so close that you can’t think of anything but him. His eyes are on your lips when he speaks. “Are we just acquaintances?” 

You narrow your eyes at him, all of your anger from yesterday and earlier today resurfacing at his question as you look up at him straight in the eyes. “Yes, I’m only someone you know, right?”

He’s sighing and you can tell he wants to pull away from you to display his annoyance, but he stays right where he’s at. The hand that was placed on the counter slowly inches towards your waist until his thumb is brushing against the fabric of your dress just underneath your rib cage. He starts to draw slow circles on the material, pressing into your skin occasionally, and you‘re breathless from the contact. “I’m getting the hint that you’re mad at me about something, but it’s hard to care when you’re looking like this.”

You let out a scoff at his words. You’ve spent the past two days suffering from his behavior, and he’s trying to get away with it by practically seducing you. But there was also a part of you that was entirely aroused by how little he seemed to care about your attitude and how much more he seemed to care about the way you were worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. “Looking like what?”

The thumb that was pressing against the clothed skin of your waist retreats and his hand moves back to where it was before, laid flat on the counter next to you, except this time his other arm reaches out for the surface too. And now he’s got you caged-in, looking down at you like he’s trying really hard to not get even closer. “Looking hot as fuck? You’re kind of vain for making me say it out loud.” 

You’re effectively dazed out of your goddamn mind at this point, using all the self-control you’ll have for the rest of a lifetime to not grab onto his shirt and pull him into you, all inhibitions lost to the wind. You wouldn’t even care if anyone walked in, you just needed him on you, touching you, kissing you right now. But there’s a tiny part of you that’s still mad at him, and fortunately that tiny part of you pulls through. “If you think trying to seduce me is going to make me not angry anymore, you’re out of luck.”

“I’m not trying to seduce you. You think this is me trying to seduce you? If that’s so, I’m starting to worry you won’t be able to take it,” he whispers that last part so suggestively that you’re weak in the knees from his words. He seemed so different, entirely preoccupied by taking in the sight of every inch of you in front of him that any sense of shame or guilt has left his body, and he’s just looking at you with desire. 

“Satoru…” is all you manage to say as you look up at him, your thighs clenching from the arousal of just his presence surrounding you. 

You see him close his eyes for a second and exhale before he opens them, his pupils all the way dilated and wild when he looks at you again. “Yeah?” he responds, his head dipping down towards yours slightly, lips just inches from yours, like he’s waiting for your permission to act. 

“I…” you start, blinking up at him through your lashes, “...I was having a lot of fun earlier throwing back shots of tequila, and you kind of ruined that. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get back to it.” You place a hand on his chest, his gaze dropping to it in surprise as he watches you push him away from you all the way until his back hits the fridge with a thud.

“What the fuck?” he utters, his face contorted into a confusion you found incredibly comical.

You press up against him, looking up with round eyes and innocence, and you feel him immediately tense up. “Also, very inappropriate to treat someone you barely know like that. I’ll let it slide, though.” 

The last thing you see before you turn away from him is his shocked expression, blinking at you with the rest of him practically motionless, and you skip out of the kitchen towards the main party happening around the corner out of his sight. 

There were bustling people, a few guys coming up to you to talk to you, but you ignore them until you spot Geto, Nanami, some of the other soccer players, and a bunch of other people huddled around in a circle. You tap on Geto’s shoulder and he turns around to face you.

“Oh! Hey, what’s up, you made it,” Geto greets you, pulling you in for a brief hug which surprises you but was also pleasantly received as you hugged him back with a friendly pat. You could smell the alcohol from him. When he pulls away from you, he’s beaming. “We’re all doing rounds of shots, wanna join?”

“Oh my god, the words I’ve been wanting to hear all night,” you say and you join the circle, a bunch of people cheering as they usher you towards the center and you grab a shot glass from the small round table. A group of maybe fifteen people all raise their shot glasses up in the air, you included, and say some incoherent, non-rehearsed words of luck for the soccer team’s game tomorrow before everyone throws back their shots. You’re squealing and jumping up and down in excitement with Geto and watch as Nanami pretends to throw back his shot before dumping its contents into a red plastic solo cup in his hand instead.

“This is so much fun!” you’re yelling. “Can we do another?”

“Hey! New girl wants to do another,” one of the frat dudes calls out, which is followed by cheers and then messy pouring of tequila all over the table as people extend their shot glasses out to be filled. 

Two, three, four, eventually five is your limit until you wander away from the circle, entirely tipsy at this point, over to where people were dancing in front of the DJ’s booth. You bump into some couples that were grinding up on each other, your drunk conscience shamelessly watching their movements, and then accidentally bump into a man so hard that it almost sends you falling back onto the ground but he grabs your arm and keeps you upright. His drink spills a bit out of his hand and onto your dress, making you giggle like a freak. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” he’s yelling to you over the music.

“No, I’m sorry,” you yell back, and then you notice he’s wearing a jacket that mimics the patterns of the school’s soccer jersey and has an embroidered player’s number on the chest. It hits you that you’ve seen him on the field before briefly during the practices you’ve been to. “Are you on the soccer team?”

“Yeah, I am,” he says and he tells you his name but the music is way too loud to hear it, and you’re also sort of drunk at this point to register it anyways. But he was cute, and you decided you wanted to dance with him, and dance away is exactly what you do. 

When he twirls you around and presses his chest against your back, your line of sight falls straight ahead to where you see Gojo sitting on a couch. Your heart sinks in your chest when you see a girl place a hand on his thigh and lean towards him, practically sitting in his lap, but the look on his face tells you he’s entirely distracted by something else. His eyes search the room for a few seconds, and when they land on you, he stills. When he tilts his head up to peer behind you and sees who you were dancing with, a look of shock crossed his face. 

For fucks sake, you wouldn’t flirt with one of his teammates, right?

In your drunk, hazy mind, Mina’s words flash by in your head. The foolproof way to tell how a guy really feels about you is based on how he reacts when he sees another guy’s tongue shoved down your throat.

You turn around, reach up and pull the man you were dancing with down towards you, and you kiss him. The man hesitates, clearly surprised, before moving his lips against yours and just when you feel his hands make their way to your waist, you’re being yanked away from him by the arm. When you turn to look at the perpetrator, you see a very viscerally angry-looking Gojo in front of you and a chill runs down your spine.

Oh god, he looked pissed. If looks could kill, you’d be six feet under right now. 

He pulls you by your forearm over to the stairs, and you’re protesting, trying to yank away from his harsh grip, but he doesn’t budge as he takes you up to the second floor and just when you two have made it into the secluded hallway, he pushes you up against the wall, caging you into it with his body.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he scowls at you, leaning in closer, tone so searing it’s enough to set you on fire.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” you yell back at him, anger rising within you.

“You’re seriously turning out to be a real fucking pain in the ass,” he hisses the words, his eyes darting across your face before settling on your lips.

“Why do you care? I’m just-” you start but he interrupts you when his lips crash down on yours, taking you by surprise. His kiss was hungry, ravenous, all-consuming. So different from that night when he kissed you for the first time with nothing but tenderness. This one felt like he wanted to take everything from you, leaving nothing behind. His hands find your waist, pulling you closer to him, and your arms slide up past his shoulders, locking behind his neck, and he’s groaning against your mouth before biting at your bottom lip. When you grant him access, he deepens the kiss and the taste of him intoxicates you.

“If you imply that you’re just a stranger to me one more fucking time,” he’s growling against your mouth, “I’ll make sure we get real well acquainted with eachother against this wall right now.” His hands find the flesh underneath your ass and he easily hoists you up, your legs immediately wrapping around his waist. “Ask me if I give a fuck if anyone sees.”  

“Oh my god,” you’re gasping, his words hitting you straight to your core, and when you feel his clothed erection pressed against the flimsy cloth of your panties, the self-resolution you once had was all but a distant memory. “Satoru, bathroom, please, not here.”

When you tip your head back, giving him access to your neck and he immediately indulges, peppering kisses down your skin, you roll your hips against his and he squeezes the flesh of your ass hard to reprimand the motion before he takes you into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, then setting you up on the counter. 

His kisses get lower until he’s at your collarbone, and he pulls you forward towards him on the surface to where you’re sitting at the edge and he has his hands digging at the soft flesh of your thighs. You’re squirming in his grasp, gripping onto his shirt for any sort of purchase. When his kissing reaches the neckline of your dress and his finger hooks the fabric, threatening to pull it down, he looks at you. 

“Please,” you ask him simply.

He raises an amused eyebrow, pulling down the fabric slowly to just above where your nipples would be set free. “You think you’re in a position to ask for anything from me right now?”

“Oh my fucking god I swear, if you don’t yank my dress down, I’ll choke you,” you threaten him. 

“Careful, pretty, I might be into that,” he chides, pressing a kiss to your chest.

You grab the wrist of the hand that was still hooked inside your cleavage, and pull it down harshly so your tits are set free and he leans away from you to take in the sight. He’s mesmerized for a moment, his hand wrapping around your rib cage and thumb poking the softness from the side before it eventually reaches your nipple and starts to play with it. “God, you’re so beautiful. Remind me why we didn’t do this the first night we met?”

When his mouth latches onto your nipple, you tip your head back with a moan and you’re not able to come up with an answer to his question. Because he was right, it was insane that the two of you didn’t. Your hand runs through the short hair of his undercut at the nape of his neck and then grips at the soft strands a bit higher as he sucks and licks at your breasts. You wrap your legs around him tighter, pulling his hips to you, and from the edge of the counter you start to roll your wet panties against the bulge at his front to get relief. He groans against your chest before pulling away. 

“You need to relax. Real fuckin’ desperate now compared to when you were pushing me away in the kitchen thirty minutes ago,” he scolds, his lips finding yours again and one of his hands trails up the skin of your thigh. You open your legs even wider for him sweetly and he smiles against your lips, his fingers brushing the skin of your inner thigh and then finally pressing against your clothed core. You instantly jolt, entirely stimulated by the contact, and he pulls away from the kiss to watch you. 

“S-Satoru…” you whimper because it’s all you can manage to say, your hips pushing forward, craving more of his touch, but he withdraws from your heat all together and steps away from you, his grip on your hips dragging you forward until you step down from the counter and you’re standing in front of him, looking up like you don’t even know how to breathe unless he talks you through it. He turns you around to where you’re facing the mirror, and it’s the first time you take a look at how messed up he’s gotten you. Your cheeks were flushed, lips swollen, eyes a little teary from the lust consuming you. Your tits that appeared plush and perked by the haphazard way the neckline of your dress was tucked underneath them were glistening with his saliva and you felt like you were about to go insane at the sight. You take a look at his face in the reflection, and he too looked like he was about to go insane at the sight. 

“Bend over the counter,” he demands with a rough voice, but you don’t have much of a choice since he’s pushing down on your back anyways. You’ve risen up onto your tiptoes to accommodate the position and he lazily flips the fabric of your dress up over your ass before his hands hook into the side of your panties at your hips, pulling them down, and you feel the fabric practically peel off of you from how wet you were. And then he was on his knees behind you.

“Fuck, why didn’t we do this the first night we met?” he laments, marveling at the sight of you bent over for him.

“You already asked that question,” you mumble. 

“Cause it still doesn’t make any fucking sense to me,” he sighs and then he drags his index finger into your folds, from your entrance that was sopping wet all the way down to your clit. You’re wiggling, pushing your hips out towards him, and you hear him let out a low, guttural sound in his chest at the sight. His finger experimentally pushes into you and you’re gasping, hand slamming against the mirror.

“You’re so sensitive. Need a second?” he asks like he’s genuinely looking out for you, and yet he doesn’t wait before pushing another finger into you regardless. 

“Mhh..n-no, just need your tongue,” you say through a shaky breath, panting from where you were on the counter. 

He groans at your request and pulls his fingers out of you, instantly making you whine, before giving you a different reason to whine when his tongue presses against your clit.

Your mind was going insane, still registering the shock that this was happening as you moaned from the feeling of his tongue on you, mouth latching on and sucking harshly at your sensitive core that has you writhing and grasping onto anything you could find for purchase. The man that was making a mess at the most intimate part of you right now seemed so different from that kind man last week that pressed that chaste kiss to your lips. This was like you had just summoned the devil and he was on his knees behind you.

You make a mental note to never doubt any of Mina’s advice ever again.

When his hungry lapping at your clit turns into slow, lazy licks against your folds, you whimper above him and attempt to grind against his mouth so his tongue is where you want it. “Mm…p-please, stop teasing, I wanna cum.” 

He pulls his mouth from you and you feel how slick he’s made you, nothing but a mess of your arousal and his spit, before he pushes two fingers inside you and stretches you out inside with them. “But do you deserve to cum, is the question, sweetheart,” he drawls, curling his fingers inside and pressing on that spot that had your walls fluttering around him and building that tight knot in your lower tummy. 

“Yes, I do, fuck,” you’re moaning as he slowly starts to pump his fingers in and out of you, “less talking, more licking my clit.”

His other hand finds your clit, fingers beginning to rub agonizingly slow circles, and you can feel the texture of his calluses across every single nerve ending of the aching bud. “What was that, baby? You want me to be stingy with my tongue? Alright, whatever you say, princess,” he sighs it like he has no choice but to be a fucking dick right now.

“No, oh my god, don’t be stingy with your tongue,” you cry out, your cheek pressing up against the mirror from the sheer desperation of wanting a release, “I’ll kill you.” 

“Can’t make you cum if I’m dead,” he purrs. “God, your pussy’s going crazy right now, clenching around my fingers like it’s got a mind of its own. Can’t wait to fuck you,” he’s groaning, “so sweet, so tight, so wet. Exactly how I imagined it.”

“Y-You’ve imagined this?” you whimper to him when he starts to fully fuck you with his fingers. 

“So many fucking times,” he grumbles, his other hand now gripping your ass and thumb spreading you more open. You blush from how exposed you felt to him, but the noises he was making from the deepest part within his chest made you realize he was a freak for it. He pulls his fingers out of you and then uses both hands to spread your folds apart as he laps at the wetness that was practically dripping from your entrance. “What your world would be like if this was your little ‘terms and conditions’ favor instead.”

His tongue latches onto your clit again and your knees almost buckle. “M-Make me cum and maybe I’ll finally regret the fact that it wasn’t,” you say to him, desperate to coax something feral from him that finally grants you release of the tension building at your core. You’re unable to stay still, squirming and squealing above him, so hopelessly at his mercy.

“Say you’ll never kiss another guy except me ever again,” you hear him grumble with his face still buried in your cunt.

“w-what…” you say, exhaling incredulously, “S-Satoru…you don’t make any sense…we’re not even dat-”

“Say it, and I’ll let you cum,” he tells you simply, pulling his mouth from you again just when you felt like you were about to topple over and you’re about ready to kick him in the face at this point. You try to look over your shoulder to read his facial expression but when his fingers take their position over your clit and he starts to draw stars, you quickly give up and rest your forehead on the mirror. Oh god, this was good, if he just kept going-

As if he could read your mind, he pulls his fingers from your clit entirely, leaving your core agonizingly empty from any part of his touch, and it makes you gasp. You’ve never felt more betrayed in your life.

“Oh my god, okay okay okay!” you’re screaming, sticking your ass out to him and he’s chuckling at the sight. “I’ll never kiss another guy again! Fucking hell, Satoru, please, just make me cum,” you beg, whimpering and almost crying, your thighs twitching from the urge to clench together for some form of relief in his absence.

He seems satisfied by your begging, because he immediately grabs your ass with both hands, one of his thumbs pushing shallowly into your drenched entrance, and then his mouth finds your clit again. You close your eyes shut, and you could feel that you were just seconds away from cumming as he simultaneously sucks and licks relentlessly on the sensitive bundle of nerves. It’s when he groans against your center with such a primal frequency, sending shockwaves of vibrations to your center and throughout your entire body, that you fall apart for him and you come undone so violently that your knees entirely give out, and you’re screaming his name. He wraps an arm around your legs to keep you from falling as you squirm on the counter, your walls pulsing and clenching, hips twitching, and then you’re finally calming down. You lay blissfully on the surface, head down, breathing heavily with soft, remnant whimpers leaving your lips.

You hear Gojo let out a short exhale from behind you that almost sounds like he’s in disbelief. When you turn slightly to look back at him, you see he’s palming himself through his pants and looking directly at your cunt. “You’re dripping onto the floor, fuck.” He catches a drop of slick, clear arousal as it falls from your entrance, immediately bringing it to his tongue and licking it off his finger before standing up. 

You barely manage to push your upper body up so that you’re standing, shaking arms working overtime to hold yourself up, and he comes up behind you to press his chest against your back, looking at you in the mirror. He was breathing heavily too, his mouth near your ear and his eyes lidded with lust. You reach your arm up and behind him to grab at the soft tufts of hair at the back of his head, your back arching from the motion, and he groans as he pushes his clothed erection against your ass, head dropping close to your shoulder from the pleasure and he presses a kiss to your skin. The image in front of you, with his broad shoulders and frame completely engulfing yours whole, your hips slightly rocking forwards and pushing against the counter from his indulgent grinding behind you, his hand reaching up to pinch and play with your nipple, it was all so erotic that you were already aching for more. He effectively finger-fucked, licked, and sucked the anger out of you, and that was a dangerous fact. 

His fingers grazed up the side of your waist that the fabric of your dress still clung tightly to, and he loosely held onto you, sighing against the back of your neck which sent shivers down your spine. His eyes meet yours in the mirror. “So pretty like this. Turn around and face me, baby, reflection’s not enough,” he says to you and you do as he says, twirling around. His eyes take in the sight of you, his thumb coming up to press at the soft flesh of your breast and you can see it in his eyes that he was worshipping you. 

You finally take in the entire image of his appearance. His chest was heaving, hair disheveled, shirt was wrinkled at the front from when you were grabbing onto it earlier. There’s a crease to his brow when he looks at you, and you realize that this is not the first time you’ve seen him look exactly like this in a party bathroom. Except the last time, it was from reasons other than your own.

And then there’s that sinking feeling in your chest again.

Just when you observe that spark of intense lust in his eyes, pupils dilated like wild, see it flash through his mind that he thinks he’s about to get lucky with you tonight, you find yourself pushing him away from you for the second time tonight. You’ve got him with his back pressed up against the wall while he looks down at you with confusion, and this time there’s desperation and panic there too.

You look up at him with a discerning softness, and all those tender feelings you’ve been experiencing for the past week come crashing down on you all at once, but your heart aches with their memory. When his eyes study your face, there’s a brief second where he’s surprised to see the way you’re looking at him, and his jaw clenches slightly. 

“Thanks, I really needed this,” you whisper to him, hand patting his chest reassuringly as you try to keep your composure in front of him despite the hollow feeling in your chest, “gave me some clarity. Don’t follow me.” And then you step away from him, pull your panties back up into place, adjust the neckline of your dress up over to cover your chest, then you make your way to exit.

“What? Wait-” he scrambles, sounding stunned from behind you as you open the bathroom door, walk right out into the hallway and close the door behind you, not all the way but just enough so you were out of his line of sight.

You sigh to yourself for a second as you step to the side, fixing at your hair, then take a deep breath as you walk down the hall. It registers in your mind that he listens, never following after you. 

a/n. reader is soooo messy for doing this to him right before his big game lol i'm like scared for her even though i'm literally the author hahha. i hope to see you in the next one! much love

➸ take me to chapter seven!

tag list: @who-can-touch-my-boob @getitsatoru @kissofife @tiredflame132 @cliosunshine @ethereally-lyann @prince-wyiilder @slut-4-gojo @cactisjuice (decided to tag all interacts too just so it's not missed if that's ok! love you all sm)

[thesculptedflower]

Hermosa

You work late nights at a diner that’s located in a not so safe part of Albaquerque. You have a very special regular, who ends up being your saving grace from this sad part of your life.

Content warnings: Attempted abuse, attempted sexual abuse, swearing, violence, +18, MDNI

Tropes: Age gap, denied feelings, forced proximity, ’’who did this to you?’’

Part 1/? I've been away for so long I don't know if this goes anywhere anymore. My life is so messed right now, that I just thought that maybe writing would ease it up a bit. We'll see. I missed this. Will proofread later, so sorry for any typos.

*****************************************

You’re already handing the take-away cup over the counter, before your customer has even had a chance to order. He’s a regular, always comes fifteen minutes before closing, always orders a black coffee with a pinch of cinnamon. It suits him.

’’Am I that predictable?’’ He grins, his fingers brushing against yours as the cup leaves your hand. 

You feel a soft blush creep up your cheeks. ’’Mhmm.’’ You hum in response, taking the few coins he’s offering you. ’’ Or maybe you’re just my favourite customer.’’ You continue almost teasingly.

He lets out a playful chuckle and slips a generous tip to the breast pocket of your t-shirt. ’’That would make me the luckiest man in Albaquerque, hermosa.’’ 

You keep your eyes fixed on his deep brown ones and give him the sweetest smile. 

 The flirting has been going on for months. You’ve patiently been waiting for an invite to a date, or at least a phone number, but to no avail. You suppose it’s your age that’s holding him back. You being in your mid-twenties, and him being over his forties. Not that you’d mind, Lalo Salamanca has aged like a fine wine.

 He takes a seat at the bar, like he always does, and asks you about your day. Like he always does. The air is sweet from the cinnamon in his coffee. 

’’Nothing out of the ordinary, a few drunks and family feuds.’’ You tell him, leaning your elbows on the counter. ’’Oh, and an attempted robbery. Haven’t had one of those in a while.’’

Lalo’s eyebrows rise slightly, urging you to keep going about this robbery.

’’A young man, probably my age, poor thing was out of his mind with drugs. Didn’t even have a gun. I mean thank god he didn’t, but it was just sad. Probably just wanted to get some cash to buy his next fix.’’ You recollect the events of the day. 

’’You called the cops?’’ Lalo asks, stirring his coffee.

’’Didn’t need to, a few truck drivers managed to shoo him away. He did promise to come back with weapons and back up though, but I’m not putting much trust on that.’’ 

You begin to wipe down the counter, not feeling too worried about empty threats of young narcs. You’ve seen plenty in the years you’ve worked in this diner, and this one won’t be your last. 

’’I’d take it seriously, you never know what’s going on inside their heads.’’ 

Lalo’s suddenly very serious tone catches your attention. You turn to look at him and to your surprise he’s almost angry. Worried even.

You place a hand on top of his and smile softly. A very brave move, one you’ve not tried before. He stares your hand for a quick moment before lifting his eyes back up to yours. 

’’I’ll be fine. I do have a taser behind here.’’ You reassure him.

The diner clock rings as a sign of closing, pulling you out of the moment.

’’I’m going to have to kick you out now.’’ You tease, knowing full well that he’d rather stay in, even if just a moment longer.

’’Still won’t let me stay?’’ He tries to bargain, like he always does. Bit of the gleam has returned to his eyes.

You’re well aware of the cameras in here, and of the fact that my boss keeps a close eye on them. Can’t have any strange men in here alone with me.’’ You tell him, like you always do. 

You walk with him to the door and open it for him. He stops to place his hand on the small of your back. The sudden closeness takes you by a surprise, yet you still lean into his touch, ever so slightly.

’’I’m no stranger to you hermosa.’’ He almost purrs. ’’Stay safe, I’ll see you tomorrow.’’

You say your goodbyes, already missing the warmth of his hand on you. You lock the door and watch him walk through the parking lot to his car. He turns to look back at you before getting in. Like he always does. Usually he’s all smiles and winks, but tonight his eyes are filled with worry.

A shiver goes down your spine, and you try to shake away the nervousness the conversation about the robbery gave you. You turn off a few lights and put on some music to get through of the last cleaning tasks of the evening. 

You’re too far away from the entrance, and too immersed in your work and the music, that you don’t hear the window on the front door shatter. Or someone slowly cracking the door open and entering the diner. Only when they’re standing a few feet behind you, and you spot their reflection on the wet floor you were mopping, you realise the danger you’re in.

You have to think quickly. The bucket in front of you is full of extremely hot soapy water and your mop is in there. You swing the mop with everything you got, and hit the intruder in the face.

He screams in agony. ’’You fucking bitch!’’ The hot water burns the delicate skin on his face, leaving him confused and aimless. His gun goes off while he’s struggling to gain his sight back, but the bullet goes awry, and breaks one of the windows.

You try to seize the moment and run away from him, but he manages to grab you by your hair and yank you backwards to the slippery floor. 

You let out a cry when your back hits the floor, but you cannot stop now. You try to crawl away, towards the register where the taser is. Just a little too far.

You hear angry footsteps nearing you, so you try to get up, but the floor is too slippery from the water and soap. 

’’You’re going to wish you were dead before I’m done with you.’’

You recognise the voice from earlier. It’s the same young man who tried to rob you today. Of course it is. You try to turn to look at him, to plead with him, to tell him that he can take everything from the register, but he counters your movement by kicking you in the shoulder, keeping you on the floor. You let out a helpless sob, still trying to get to the counter. Your whole body is filled with panic and you can barely focus on anything else but to surviving.

’’Drop the gun cachorro.’’

Lalo.

You try to look up at him, but he motions you to stay down. He doesn’t even look at you, his eyes, and his gun, are fixed on the other man behind you.

’’This is none of your business grandpa.’’ The young man shouts, waving his gun between you and Lalo.

’’Oh this is very much my business. This is my favourite diner, would be a real shame if I had to paint the walls with your blood. And I’m not a very good painter.’’ 

You can hear the wicked grin in Lalo’s voice. And the anger in the young man’s breathing.

’’Be wise, and drop the gun. Nobody has to die tonight. You’ve already embarrassed yourself enough, leave with your life, while you still have the fucking chance.’’ Lalo barks it like an order.

’’This bitch owes me! She-’’

’’She doesn’t owe you shit! And I, am loosing my patience. If you’re not out of this building in five fucking seconds, you’re leaving in a bodybag.’’

Lalo emits dangerous energy around himself, and it finally feels like he got trough the man’s drugged haze. He scatters past you and Lalo, shouting profanities and promising revenge as he runs.

You flinch as Lalo lays a hand on your shoulder. ’’Está bien hermosa.’’ He speaks so softly.

You take a hold of both of his hands as he helps you up. His hands are all over you immediately, checking you for wounds. The initial shock is starting to wear off, and in it’s place you’re starting to feel anger. Disappointment. Towards yourself. 

You back off from him, taking in all the damage around the diner. ’’Fuck this shit.’’ You whisper, pulling out your phone. Lalo leans against the counter, watching you as you dial your boss’s number and call him. He too can hear the amount of yelling that’s being raided on your ear. 

’’Yeah, well maybe you should hire fucking men then, but they don’t get tips for you to steal!’’ You scream into the phone before hanging up on him. You’re about to storm out of the diner when Lalo stops you by your wrist. ’’What?!’’ You’re still shouting, but it doesn’t phase him.

’’Get in the car, I’m driving you home.’’ He says with a tone you cannot argue against. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding. ’’Fine.’’

The drive to your apartment is quiet. You’re so angry at yourself, for being so weak, not being able to defend yourself from a junkie. How you had just boasted that you can take care of yourself, just to be proven very wrong in a matter of 30 fucking minutes. 

Lalo parks the car on the visitor spot of your building complex and gets out before you to open your door for you. You try to walk past him to get home, but he stops you once again.

’’Enough with the attitude.’’ 

You cannot believe the audacity. You open your mouth to fight back but he speaks over you.

’’You’re in shock, but do not let the anger get to you. You did everything you could. And you survived.’’ He’s raising his voice just a little, trying to get through your anger. You know he’s just worried and that he just saved your life, but you can’t stop the words from spilling from your mouth.

’’What do you care, you’re not my fucking boyfriend.’’ Your words are like venom to him.

’’Don’t I fucking know that!’’ 

Once more you open your mouth to fight back, but are left with nothing to say when his words register to you. You’re now both just angrily staring at each other, waiting for the other to make the next move. Fuck it, you think, and rush your body against his, your hands pulling him by his neck down to kiss you. Lalo doesn’t waste time wrapping his huge arms around your waist, desperately trying to pull you even closer to him. You begin to lead him towards your apartment and to your surprise, he follows. His eyes are so dark he seems like a different person, and you think that perhaps he is. How he was ready to kill a man for you, just like that.

You open the door to your apartment and pull him inside by his belt. He’s grinning just barely. He closes the door behind him, and pulls you back to him, his lips taking claim of yours. 

You’re trying to remove your shirt, when Lalo suddenly stops. He takes a deep breath and removes your hands from your shirt. 

’’I cannot do this to you.’’ He lets out a sigh and rubs his temples with his hand. 

You let out a sarcastic laughter. ’’What the fuck Lalo?’’ Your temper is rising all over again. The tension between the two of you is so tense it could be cut with a knife.

’’You flirt with me for months, and as much as I’ve enjoyed it, I’m starting to need a bit fucking more.’’ You begin to let out all those suppressed emotions you’ve been harbouring for him. 

’’And now, you almost kill a man for me, and then you let me kiss you, and lead you to my place, and on the last fucking minute you back out. You’re a fucking pussy.’’ You’re trying to hurt him. Playing nice hasn’t gotten you anywhere with him, so maybe this does. Or at least it’ll destroy anything and everything you might have had with him, so you can start moving on.

Lalo closes the distance between you, and takes a hold of your chin. Not too tight, but firm enough to keep you looking at him.

’’You just don’t get it querida.’’ He growls. ’’I’ve had my eye on you from the first time you served me a coffee in that pitiful diner. From the first fucking smile you gave me, I have been hooked on you.’’ 

Your eyes are tearing up from the sheer passion that’s being let out to the air around you. Everything is happening all at once.

’’You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve laid my eyes on, and I’ll be damned if something happens to you because of me.’’ 

He really is a dangerous man, you think. 

’’But dios mio, if I even think about you with anyone else,  I feel like ending people.’’ 

You try to struggle against his grip, but he towers over you, holding you steady.

’’I work in the cartel, I’ve murdered and tortured, both deserving and undeserving poor souls. I am not the man for you.’’ His eyes are dark but conflicted.

’’But so ain’t any other hijo de puta.’’

You can feel his grip loosen on you just a bit. You push his hand away from you, and land a nasty slap to his cheek. He bites his lower lip, but holds back from saying anything. He’s said enough, and he can only hope it makes you see him as he really is. So he too, can start moving on.

’’Get the fuck out of my apartment, I have work tomorrow.’’ You spit out almost hatefully. 

’’You’re not going back there.’’ He tries to command you.

’’Try to stop me, I fucking dare you.’’ You argue. Lalo holds his tongue. 

’’Fine, but I’ll be taking you home every fucking night you’re closing.’’ He leaves and slams the door shut before you can argue back. 

Only when you hear his car leave the parking lot, you dare to let yourself cry. You mourn the person you were just a few hours ago, and the ’’situationship’’ you had with your favourite late night regular. But you can’t ignore the burning feeling inside your chest that yearns for this newfound person. This criminal, who burns for you as much you burn for him. For the man who would kill for you, in a heartbeat. 

Would you kill for him too, if it meant killing the old you, to let a new, different you, in?

[douglysium]

Episode 11 TMP Quick Thoughts

Housekeeping and Prologue

Hello, this is Douglysium and you might not know me as that guy who wrote over 100 pages of analysis on the Eye (which can be read on Tumblr here (https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/735599414228484097/the-relationships-between-the-dread-powers-the) or Google Docs here (The Relationships Between the Dread Powers: The Eye- Knowledge is Fear and Ignorance is Bliss)) or as that guy who wrote an article on the Extinction (which can be read on Tumblr here(https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/717929126195003392/what-would-avatars-of-the-extinction-be-like-a) and Google Docs here(​What would Avatars of the Extinction be like?: A TMA Speculation)). Suffice to say I might be a bit of a TMA fan. Also, spoilers for TMP up until episode 10. You can read my ramblings on the last episode here (Episode 10 TMP Quick Thoughts).

However, Protocol offers a very unique opportunity and experience for me because I didn’t actually get into TMA until after it was over and I binged all of it. So this is my first time experiencing something even remotely similar to what the original TMA fans probably experienced when waiting for each episode week by week and slowly having to put everything together with the limited information they had. So I decided to throw my hat into the ring since this might be my only chance to do something similar. However, I’m working on some longer form TMA content so I can’t spend as much time on these articles giving a bunch of super detailed thoughts. I will try to keep these short and that inevitably might mean some could have questions about why I think or predict certain things and in those cases I would probably recommend you read at least some of the two articles I mentioned above to get a better idea of where I’m coming from. This also means I won’t be giving you a play-by-play of every single thing that happens in the episode so I encourage you to listen to or read them yourselves and feel free to comment if you feel something is important.

These reviews are probably going to end up focusing mostly on the Entities and their manifestations as they are what I have thought about the most and spent the most time interpreting and there’s been a lot of… interesting theories floating around about how the Entities are manifesting that I want to go over.

Finally, I’m just going to say it right now, spoiler warning for all of The Magnus Archives. I know that Jon and co said one could start with Protocol and be fine, and while that’s probably true, media like this tends to be made in conversation with or take into consideration what came before it in the irl chronology in order to connect them. While I’m sure you could skip The Magnus Archives, I don't really see the point of skipping over it when we are already getting characters from TMA showing up in TMP in Protocol. So to me it’s pretty clear that if we want to understand the full picture of TMP and all the things it is trying to say then we can’t just try to pretend TMA doesn’t exist or scrub it away. Just because you could understand what’s happening without the context in broad strokes doesn’t mean you're getting all the nuances.

These articles are meant to be quick and short so sorry if there’s typos and if I don’t address every possible question or possibility. I don’t want to repeat myself too much in this series outside of the prologue so be sure to skim some of my other articles.

Episode 11 “Marked”

And we are back, baby. I’ve actually started writing this literally the second after I finished listening to the episode. I was originally planning to wait until the weekend to write this but I’ve become so excited I can’t help myself, and Rusty Quill has been on top of posting the transcripts when the episodes comes out.

As always, the episode is being told to us through some sort of device. In this case we cut to Celia via her phone. The transcripts make it clear what’s happening “A busy motorway nearby. CELIA is asleep on grass. She starts to make slightly distressed noises as she stirs. A lorry roars past nearby and she awakes with a start.” She obviously seems frustrated upon realizing something has happened again but she realizes something as she begins to pat herself down looking for her phone or some other (most likely communication) device.

CELIA 

“(to herself) Yes! Ok, phone in the pocket works. She starts tapping the screen.”

CELIA 

“(to herself) If it had signal. She sighs in helpless frustration.”

CELIA 

“Shit.” She stretches and starts trudging off towards the motorway. 

CELIA 

“Hold on, Jack, I’m on my way.” 

Celia probably comes from or has some relation to the TMA universe but what this entire situation has to do with it, if anything, is beyond me. I don’t know who Jack is and Celia implies that this entire situation has happened before. It is once again confirmed however that whatever is listening through all the electronic devices in TMP doesn’t need said devices to have wi-fi or internet connection to be able to do so. Which was further emphasized by the fact that it was capable of listening through a tape recorder last episode.

Now that I think about it, did Celia need the phone for communication or some other thing. It’s possible that she was trying to access something like a GPS or online map to figure out where she was or where to go but it’s unclear. I can’t say if Celia implying this has happened before means she has woken up at this exact spot or random areas in general. Considering her questions to Sam about multiversal and time travel I wonder if she attempted some sort of experiment which led to her appearing in this location. Is Celia trying to get somewhere in particular? Maybe she’s trying to get back to the TMA universe or maybe she’s trying to get somewhere new?

We cut to the OIAR offices via one of the computers. I consider the interaction we witness in this scene to be another enlightening one about some of the possible dynamics at play in the OIAR workplace. Alice clearly cares strongly about Sam and they like to tease each other a lot. Sam seems a bit down about finding no clues about the Magnus Institute and Alice tries to cheer Sam up. The two talk about where Celia and Gwen are but neither knows where they are. It makes sense that they would wonder since Gwen seems like a stickler for rules and it seems weird that about half the people working in this office have disappeared with no notice. Gwen brought Sam and Celia coffee while also mentioning “I’ve got a mocha for Celia and I was really looking forward to pretending I “accidentally” forgot to order Gwen anything.” Once again, highlighting how antagonistic their relationship is and how Alice can go beyond just simple teasing and towards just being outright hostile or mean toward Gwen.

Alice seems extremely nervous and mentions “ just… I dunno. When I left the coffee shop, it felt like someone was following me.” Sam jokes “Sounds like maybe you were more bothered by that “soggy ruin” than you admit.” but Alice asks him not to joke about it, which shows that she’s extremely rattled. This level of fear from being watched sort of parallels the Institute in TMA with how Jon was scared from a feeling of being watched in the Institute. In MAG 39 (Infestation) Jon says “Because I’m scared, Martin!. Because when I record these statements it feels… it feels like I’m being watched.” However, it’s clear that what Alice is probably feeling is related to whatever escaped from the Institute in the last episode. I wonder if that being is somehow connected to The Eye. It is an Entity connected to both the fear of being watched and even followed or stalked. Not to mention the creature came from the Institute, a faction that was at least aligned with The Eye in TMA.

However, there’s an argument that this could just as easily be something related to The Spiral, Stranger, Hunt, or some other Entity entirely. The Institute had dealings with all kinds of Entities, not just The Eye. The most obvious example of this is their Artifact Storage, which collected objects connected to various Entities. So it’s possible this is some other Entity’s Monster or Avatar that was being sealed and / or researched. Considering all the alchemical undertones I even have to wonder if it’s some sort of artificial creation like some kind of homunculus.

Sam offers to walk with Alice home, to which she appreciates, and they get to work categorizing their statements. We follow the statement that Sam is listening to as exposited by CHESTER.

This statement comes from emails being sent from Gordon J to Alison Leshi regarding “Padstow civil cemetery exhumations.” In case you don’t know, an exhumation is “the action of digging up something buried, especially a corpse.” Gordon starts off by explaining to Alison that everything is going as planned, despite the sudden cold snap, due to proper planning. He also says “We also did some load testing of the ground near the cliff edge, and it looks like there’s only a few graves where the erosion means we won’t be able to use the Bobcat, and that’s few enough that my boys can do that by hand.” The first few days of this project have gone smoothly and David, their medical examiner, seems happy with their precautions.

Gordon mentions “with all the precautions we’re taking, and while we’ve certainly had our fair share of lookie-loos, there’s not been any sign of the protestors you were so concerned about stirring up. I guess it helps that no-one’s been buried here for over a hundred years, so it’s not like we’re pulling up granddad. The sailors sleeping here haven’t seen mourners since Queen Vic.” I think Gordon raising the possibility that there could be protestors is interesting. I wonder if it’s simply the fact that people might be upset at the destruction of these graves or if there’s some other reason? For example, someone might see it as an important historical site or maybe they view this project as harming the environment in some way? If you want a more supernatural reason, it could be that someone is afraid that disturbing the site could anger someone / something?

Gordon gets more personal and talks about how this job means a lot to them. They say “I know we can’t have been the cheapest company to put in a bid, but as local lads we’ve been coming to this graveyard all our lives (even if just to sneak some booze as stupid teenagers), and now that the cliff’s finally giving up the ghost (if you’ll pardon the pun), it feels right for us to be the ones taking it apart.” I looked up the phrase “giving up the ghost” and it seems like it can refer to “to stop trying to do something because you know that you will not succeed.”

Gordon says they’ll get back to Alison when the job is done but they send an email earlier than expected due to some unforeseen circumstances, and apparently David told Gordon to update Alison on the circumstances despite the fact that Gordon thinks it shouldn’t throw off their current schedule. They encountered some human remains that seem like they are in quite good condition. “...for context, the containers they’re buried in are of really varied quality. I’d say just under half were buried in decent coffins that are still in good enough shape to remove and transport unopened. For others though, the wood has rotted to the point where it’s pretty much impossible to keep the boxes together and some were just wrapped in oil cloth. This means we’re seeing, touching and moving a lot of human remains directly. Don’t worry, this isn’t about a health and safety thing – we have all the right gear and David’s making sure we follow procedure. It’s just that one of the graves had a body in that was too well-preserved for the age it should have been. Or at least, most of the skin was in extremely good condition. The back was completely covered in this complicated tattoo of a ship sailing across an open sea towards an open horizon. It was really impressive.” Take note of the tattoo since this isn’t the first time we’ve encountered a complex and very visually impressive tattoo in TMP and it’s going to come up again in this very episode.

David says that they need a second opinion and some tests since if the bodies have been buried more recently than 1908 it would mean that the cemetery is technically a crime scene for legal reasons. Gordon also mentions that the graves have been getting to him with “I’ll be honest though, I’m glad of the break. Taking up all these graves is starting to get to me a bit. I almost feel sorry for doing it. The waves are so close and getting closer. If I were a sailor buried here, I’d take some comfort in that. As you can see I’m getting morbid. Short break will do us all some good I think. Will update you when I hear word.” These feelings seem like they could relate to either The Vast, The Buried, or The End with the themes of coffins and being buried in a grave potentially tying into The Buried or End but the vast ocean possibly connecting to The Vast. But let’s keep going.

David starts acting weird and Gordon asks Alison to give David a nudge for the sake of the project. “He’s still working on that body we found and he’s stopped responding to my emails. I got him on the phone, but to be honest he doesn’t sound like he’s in any real rush to complete the job and while he’s worrying about salt water and tattoos, we’re out here sat on our hands and I’m paying the lads by the day. It’s almost enough to make you dream of sailing away for real. Like that poor fella’s tattoo. Saying that, I had another look at the photos David attached and I’m starting to think I might have been wrong about it. When I first looked, I thought it was hopeful, a crew sailing towards the sunrise. But looking again, the sun is lower than I thought, and there’s a shape in the water behind the ship. I think they’re being chased by something. Creepy eh?” So Gordon’s dream of sailing away could potentially point to The Lonely, especially given that the Entity also has a connection to the ocean and ships with Peter Lukas and the Tundra, but the whole being chased could relate to The Hunt. While Entities do chase things all the time I could see the fear of sharks or some large sea creature attempting to chase you as potentially relating to The Hunt. However, it could also potentially relate to The Vast with the idea of something massive lurking in the water, like a kraken or whale. There’s also an argument for something like The Dark with something emerging in the night as the sun sets. Well, assuming that the sun in the tattoo is setting and not rising.

And here’s where the tattoo thing comes up again. Gordon says “Oh, and speaking of tattoos, you remember you wanted an update on local sentiment about the move? Well, I don’t know if this counts as resistance – hell, I don’t even know if they’re local – but there’s someone started poking around the site asking questions. Big snake tattoo up their arm and a bunch of other ink. Wouldn’t give their name, but claims to be a big deal “online”. Don’t really know what that means, but they’ve been asking questions about the body.” The person with the “big snake tattoo” up their arm has a description that almost perfectly matches Ink5 from episode 2 (Making Adjustments). When Daria describes Ink5oul (Pronounced Inksoul) she notes that they had “an absolutely gorgeous floral serpent design running up their arm and into their neck that was so vivid it looked ready to slither off their skin and onto the chair.” It’s clear that Ink5 probably has an interest in tattoos, like the one Gordon saw on the body. This person also mentions that they are a big deal online, which would be true if this is Ink5 since we know that Ink5 is a famous tattoo artist online and even does streams. This could even explain why the person in question didn’t give their name since if it was Ink5 we are only aware of their online username. Gordon even mentions that Ink5 said “...the tattoo is an “Oscar Jarrett”, and that’s a big deal to some folks in that community – something to with Sutherland Macdonald whoever that is. Dunno if that’s quite what you were worried about but thought you’d want to know.”

`I did some light research and Oscar Jarrett doesn’t seem like a style or type of tattoo. Which points to the idea that Oscar is a person. Considering all the tattoos we are saying Oscar might be comparable to Smirke in some ways. In the sense that in the same way there was special Smirkean architecture there could be special Jarettian tattoos if that makes any sense. Tattoos that are designed to have supernatural effects of some kind. It’s also possible that Oscar simply learned and taught some kind of supernatural technique, kind of like the techniques that The Boneturner’s Tale could grant someone in TMA or how Martin sort of ended up learning how to “disappear” by following Peter Lukas’ attempt to connect him to The Lonely. Oscar Jarrett and Ink5 are definitely people to look out for in the future. Sutherland Macdonald surprisingly did yield actual search results. He is apparently “a prominent English tattoo artist in the late 19th century and early 20th century, and the first tattooist in Britain with an identifiable premises open to the public.” This makes Sutherland notable for the same reason someone like Smirke might have been in TMA. A historical figure who somehow learned and / or spread knowledge about the Entities. Again, it’s possible that there are Macdonald style tattoos in the same way there is Smirke style architecture. It could also be that the Oscar Ink5 is referring to is in fact the body with the tattoo that Gordon found and Gordon just doesn’t know what they are referring to. It could also be that there are multiple tattoo artists or Oscar is some student or follower of Sutherland in the same way people like Jonah, Maxwell Rayner, and Mordechai Lukas all had a connection to Smirke via being students or associates. In some characters even explicitly got the idea of possible rituals from Smirke and his research, despite the fact that most weren’t concerned with Smirke’s ideals of balancing the Powers.

Gordon considers calling the police on Ink5 due to how much the tattoo artist seems to be creeping Gordon and their team out but Gordon decides not to as to avoid potential backlash from the public. Gordon’s next email involves him giving condolences in regards to David, which implies that the reason he was taking so long with the reports was due to an untimely death at some point. I wonder if David’s death was related to something he came across on the bodies? It could be that there was some artifact or one of the bodies was actually alive? It could also be that if something is indeed up with the tattoos then the tattoos themselves may have had some sort of effect on David? Did Ink5 kill David? Was David the person Mr. Bonzo was sent to target in order to create some sort of opening for Ink5?

Gordon apologizes for the perceived unprofessionalism and says “My thoughts and opinions on maritime matters will no longer be included in my emails. In addition, I should be most grateful if you could see fit to provide myself with appropriate authorisations to contact the medical examiner’s offices to follow up with the cadaver that has been causing such consternation.” Based on Gordon’s next email it seems like Alison thought Gordon was making fun of them or acting condescending since Gordie states “Look, I was not “making fun of you” but I’m not sure what you want. I’m emailing an employer about my work and am getting accused of my emails being “unprofessional”. That’s the best I can manage. I haven’t been sleeping much recently. Weird dreams. Shapes in the water and that. And before you say that it’s “unprofessional” to tell you that I’m just giving an explanation, That’s all. I need you to contact the examiner again, he’s dragging his feet. Besides, I want to see the body again. I dug him up, he’s my responsibility. I just need to see it. I need to know what’s in the water.” Considering the possible change in behavior I wonder if Alison encountered something that made them scared and afraid of people not taking them seriously. I wouldn’t be surprised if Alison and / or David get their own statements in the future.

Gordon also mentions a lack of sleep due to “Weird dreams. Shapes in the water and that.” and also mentions “Besides, I want to see the body again. I dug him up, he’s my responsibility. I just need to see it. I need to know what’s in the water.” This desire to know and see something actually parallels an Entity like The Eye. The Eye, as I end up saying in every article, isn’t merely the fear of being watched but also being the watcher or seeing something you don’t want to. In MAG 200 The Eye is mentioned as having been born from the fear of one’s eyes showing them too much, and Gertrude mentions that The Eye is connected to a desire to know and understand even if in trying to do so you get hurt in the process. These themes also explain why Jonah can force information into the heads of people like Melanie and Martin. It’s the idea of knowing too much or being forced to witness things. Due to this The Eye also has a connection to, and tendency for cultivating, curiosity. Jonah mentions doing so to Jon with certain statements and we know he purposefully left files and information out to stoke Rosie’s more “nosy” personality traits. The Institute itself also sort of acts like bait for The Eye by attracting people looking for answers or closure via the information in its Archives or statements. Jon can also force people to give statements and thus make them relive and recount terrible events so that he can listen to them.

I’m bringing this up now because while I don’t think that what Gordon is going through is connected to The Eye the themes I am talking about will come up later anyway. Entities like The Eye also like to try to prey on the curiosity of people. I’m not saying Gordon is unjustified in being curious (even if I do find some of the behavior obviously strange) but that certain Entities have a precedent for preying on certain emotions or behaviors (like the desire to chase for The Hunt or anger for The Slaughter. No matter how justified that behavior may or may not be doesn’t always matter). You could also potentially relate some other parts of the statement to themes of The Eye. Most notably, the fear that protestors or other people might be observing the dig site, and the fear of being judged by the public. You could even point to Gordon sharing “too much” info to Alison with all the weird thoughts he’s having. Well, Alison seems to not like it, I’m not trying to say Gordon is crossing any sort of technical line or is even unjustified.

Gordon’s next email is titled “Examiner’s office break in” and Gordon insists that it was not him who broke into the examiner’s office and that Ink5 did it. “I saw them hanging around the office when I was waiting. Waiting so long just to see it, just to know what’s in the water. And they took it. They think they’re smart, but I saw them I know where they’re staying and if they think they deserve it they’re wrong. It belongs to the deep. I’m going to go get it and I’m going to find it and if they try and stop me I swear the ocean will claim us all. I can taste the salt and spray. It’s waiting in the water.” Once again a desire to know what’s in the water and the fact that Gordon is defensive of the idea that they might have broken into the office shows that Gordon is afraid what they said earlier about wanting to obtain the bodies might paint them as a suspect. The statement ends with

To: Alison Leshi (G.Leshi@cornwallcouncil.gov.uk) 

From: Gordon J (hello@padstowgroundworks.co.uk) 

Date: January 20th 2020. 

Subject: Re: Re: Examiner’s office 

break-in 

There was a problem delivering your 

message to “hello@padstowgroundworks.co.uk”

This email address is no longer in 

service.

This statement is a little interesting because it feels like a lot of the stuff is more passive or in the background. For example, while Gordon is perturbed, Ink5 doesn’t attack or tattoo them directly. Gordon’s thoughts and feelings about the water could connect to various Entities. Most notably, all the water stuff could connect to the Vast, Buried, or Lonely. All 3 of these Entities have a notable connection to either water or the ocean. The Vast via the fear of large things with the immensity of the ocean as well as the things the could be in it, The Buried with the feeling of drowning or being trapped / crushed underwater, and The Lonely via boating and how isolated being alone on the open ocean can make you. Gordon’s desire to sail away could relate to The Lonely or The Vast while his comment about wanting to be Buried in the graveyard could be connected to well… The Buried. Not to mention his desire to put the supposed corpse back where it belongs, in the grave, could also relate to The Buried.

If I had to pick the most likely Entities here I would argue The Buried and Vast. If I had to chose between the two I would have to say the Buried. The Vast does have an emphasis on the depp ocean, and Simon Fairchild even attempted to perform a ritual using a submarine and the deep ocean, but Gordon’s desire to bury the bodies seems at least somewhat similar to Hezekiah Wakely in MAG 152 (A Gravedigger’s Entity) and his desire to make sure that people stay in their graves. In the statement Hezekiah mentions “To my mind there are far worse fates. But he has in his head an idea to begin fitting the graves I dig with these new “safety bells” that he has heard of, so that any as might be alive below ground might signal us above for rescue. I dread the idea. If it had been me in that coffin, destined for the peace below ground, I can think of little that I would hate more than the jarring, clanging of a bell pulling me from my rest.” and he also mentions weird dreams with “I had a dream, then. I dreamt a rain had come. A terrible bitter rain that chilled my bones and turned the soil around me dark and sodden. The walls grew damp and slippery, their firm shape lost as they began to slip and crumble. And then all at once they collapsed, the grave filling in a moment with a wave of mud and wet dirt. In a single terrible moment of utter terror, it was atop and around me, covering my face and filling my lungs with its awful choking sod.”

While the emphasis on the deep could easily relate to The Vast, one of The Buried’s nicknames is actually “Forever Deep Below.” So someone referring The Buried as “The Deep” or something similar would not be without precedent, especially given its connection to drowning, being trapped underwater, and deep water in general. Gordon also says “It belongs to the deep. I’m going to go get it and I’m going to find it and if they try and stop me I swear the ocean will claim us all. I can taste the salt and spray.” which could imply that in a way they believe the ocean will bury everything. You could easily relate some of this to The Vast with the idea that the ocean has existed longer and will outlast the erosion of the land.

One part I actually really liked in TMA, despite how little it came up overall, is all the different names people would use to refer to the same Entity(s). So I wonder if, assuming the existing Entities are around in some capacity, Entities like The Buried will be referred to with different names in the Protocol universe. It wouldn’t surprise me if people started referring to an Entity like The Buried as “The Deep” for example due to the idea of being trapped deep underground or in the ocean.

Like always, there are some overlapping themes that seem similar to other Entities. The tattoo possibly depicting sailors getting chased could relate to The Hunt, I already mentioned some possibilities with The Eye, and the emphasis on graves, and dead bodies could parallel The End.

Ink5's appearance in this statement is forcing me to consider some things. I maintain that the statement in episode 2 screams “This is The Flesh”, or at least something similar to that Entity, and I believed Ink5 to be connected to The Flesh. But I remember someone also raising the idea that the effects of Ink5 tattoos could vary, which I considered a very likely possibility since Ink5 doesn’t start tattooing until they are inspired by Daria mentioning that they are an artist. Implying that Ink5 was working off of inspiration and what they make and potentially even the effects of the tattoos could vary from person to person. If this is true that could mean Ink5 is more like Smirke and isn’t directly connected to (or loyal to) a single Entity, or Ink5 could be connected to multiple Entities somehow. Maybe the specific tattoo they gave Daria was connected to The Flesh in the same way Smirke’s architecture was connected to the Entities in a way Smirke himself wasn’t always. It’s still very possible that Ink5 somehow is connected to The Flesh but is also capable of interacting with aspects of other Entities somehow.

We cut back to the OIAR office and Sam also notices the topic of tattoos having come up again and asks Alice if there is a way to cross reference cases.

ALICE 

“And? You already know the page to check the scores.”

SAM 

“Yeah… but I just thought it might be worth noting somewhere that they might be linked. There’s this tattooist, and I think they might be”

ALICE 

“What have I told you about thinking?”

SAM 

“Don’t?” 

ALICE 

“That’s right.” Alice sighs.

ALICE 

“(cont.) I don’t think there’s any way to mark cases as connected. They all come in standalone, that’s just how it works.”

Once again Alice’s whole “don’t think about it” vibe. I would argue the whole idea of “ignorance is bliss” and how knowing too much can hurt or scare you often relates to The Eye. I would argue that the OIAR or the computers are probably connected to The Eye, given all the statements and other stuff I mentioned previously, but I’m not saying Alice or Sam are secret Eye Avatars or something. What I'm trying to say is that The Eye likes to prey on certain behaviors, such as curiosity or a desire for answers, and Alice and Sam might have these traits. We know, for example, that Jon and Tim both ended up at the Institute because they were looking for answers about an encounter they had previously. 

Alice sighing and then proceeding to honestly indulge Sam’s question is interesting and I think is another implication that Alice is probably more curious than she lets on. Realistically, she has probably been burned from having a similar mindset to Sam or seeing someone else asking too many questions but she consistently ends up indulging Sam’s curiosity or giving honest answers anyway, instead of simply shutting it down and moving on. There have also been times where Alice is noted as listening to something in the transcripts “despite herself.” Implying that sometimes she can’t help herself or her curiosity gets the better of her.

All the cases being sent in standalone sort of parallels the Institute in TMA and how disorganized the Archives were when Jon was using them (due to Gertrude). Even in TMA the statements would sometimes have recurring characters but they weren’t organized by topic or people involved in the case. The most we tend to get about the organization system of the statements is that it’s usually just sorted by date (which could be confusing if two statements have the same date) and sometimes follow-ups on cases were performed for more info and context. So obtuse organization systems that make it harder to connect various details or events aren’t unusual for TMA.

I also once again have to wonder if Sam is being shown certain events on purpose in order to stoke his curiosity or to get him to do certain things. I find the idea that literally every statement is random to be dubious but that doesn’t mean literally every statement is handpicked. Which makes me wonder, once again, what Sam and co’s jobs are meant to accomplish. Are they just supposed to be “an archive of fear” and witness terrible events or someone someone / something doing anything with the information or statements they are given or categorize?

Gwen enters the room and she seems to be in pretty bad shape since Alice says “Christ on a peddlebike, what happened to you?” and Gwen says “(setting up at her desk) Tube was delayed. Points failure.” Gwen also mentions that she had trouble sleeping, but Alice doesn’t seem to waste any time making fun of Gwen despite Gwen’s sorry state. Alice doesn’t seem to spare Gwen any of the concern she has shown characters like Sam and Colin. Sam tries to get Alice to ease up on Gwen but Alice doesn’t seem to let off the ribbing. Gwen eventually notices the third coffee Alice had gotten for Celia but mistakenly assumes that the third cup of coffee was for her.

GWEN 

“(cont’d) (surprised) Hang on, did you get me a coffee?” 

ALICE 

“Uhh… 

SAM 

“Yeah. You like mocha?” 

GWEN 

“Yes. She takes the coffee carefully.’ 

GWEN 

“Thank you, Alice.’ 

ALICE 

“I… Sure. Whatever. Don’t get used to it. A slightly awkward silence.’

This interaction makes me wonder about some of the aspects of their relationship. Celia bursts into the room and Gwen grills her for being late (despite the irony of Gwen herself running late).

CELIA

“Sorry, sorry! I know, I know – there was an emergency at home I had to I’m sorry I’m late!”

GWEN

“Do you have any idea what the time is?”

ALICE

“I’m sorry, are you joking right now?”

GWEN

“I have responsibilities now, Alice. I need more of an explanation than just a “home emergency”.”

ALICE

“You arrived literally one minute ago!”

GWEN

“And I gave a full explanation for my lateness. Which, I might add, I didn’t actually need to do for a subordinate.’

CELIA

“It’s fine really’

ALICE

“No, it’s not. You don’t owe her anything! In fact, you should take her coffee as reparation.’

CELIA

“One of my radiators sprung a leak and flooded the lounge.’

GWEN

“I see. Well that’s understandable but don’t let’s make a habit of it shall we?”

CELIA

“Of course.’

GWEN

“See, that wasn’t so painful, was it Alice?’

Alice takes a breath for a devastating putdown.

SAM

“Let it go.”

ALICE 

exhales and sips her coffee instead.

GWEN

“Luckily, I don’t think Lena’s noticed, so you should be ok. She’s not as laid back as I am.”

Alice chokes a little.

CELIA

“Good to know.”

GWEN

“Great, well if that’s everything you all really should get to work otherwise you’ll never get out of here. Don’t let me keep you.”

ALICE

“(muttered) I’d like to see you try…”

GWEN

“(already departing) I’ll be in Lena’s office if you need me. She walks off.”

CELIA

“You ok, Alice? It honestly doesn’t bother me.”

ALICE

“I can’t believe she drank your mocha!”

So it kind of seems like Gwen is immediately letting her new promotion go to her head a bit and has already taken the role of a stern boss. However, based on Gwen’s reaction when talking with Lena later and how shaken she is from Mr. Bonzo, it’s very likely that this is Gwen’s way of coping or trying to deal with stress and fear (not that it’s at all healthy). Gwen’s behavior seems to rub Alice the wrong way, especially since it easily comes off as hypocritical since Gwen was also running late. The only difference being that Gwen is now Celia’s superior. This whole situation makes me wonder if any particular person is specifically at fault for Gwen and Alice’s sour relationship. Sure, Alice does come off as extremely mean to Gwen but I wonder if Gwen did something in particular, tried to strong arm Alice, or something else.

Gwen does appreciate the hypothetical gesture of Alice buying her coffee and it’s weird that despite all their bickering Gwen seems to immediately assume that the fact the coffee is for her and from Alice is a likely possibility. I wonder if Gwen has a different view of their relationship or just doesn’t care? In a previous episode Gwen mentions that Alice left “talkers” on to mess with her but I wonder if Alice simply left the statements running so she wouldn’t have to listen to the voices talking and Gwen merely assumed it had to do with her. This could point to the possibility that Gwen has a bad habit of assuming things are about her sometimes or even being a bit self-centered but I’m not sure. It is still possible Alice did in fact leave talkers to mess with her. I wonder if they had a more amicable relationship in the past? I also if Gwen does genuinely think of herself as being more lenient or forgiving than Lena and, by extension, sees herself as tossing Celia a bone.

Gwen leaves the others to their work and goes to talk with Lena. Gwen is clearly upset by her encounter with Mr. Bonzo. Gwen insists that the thing she saw couldn’t have been Mr. Bonzo because Bonzo is just a character played by a guy in a suit. Not to mention that the Mr. Bonzo at Nigel’s house apparently had skin, and appeared both sagging and sweaty. Lena assures Gwen that this was in fact Mr. Bonzo by saying “...He is one of our Externals” and “I’ll grant you that Mr. Bonzo is one of our more… obviously grotesque Externals but I assure he is a valued asset.” This implies that not all the Externals the OIAR works with are as monstrous as Mr. Bonzo. Which could mean that the organization works with various Avatars and Monsters, or at least some of the Monsters they do work with are more humanoid (similar to how the Distortion took on the appearance and personalities of people like Michael and Helen).

GWEN

I thought he was going to kill me!

LENA

“But he didn’t, which means you’ve passed the first part of your probation. Congratulations. Did you scream?”

GWEN

“What? No!”

LENA

“You should. It really helps one cope with the more affronting aspects of the job. And they usually like it.”

GWEN

“What was in that envelope I gave him?”

LENA

“A name and an address.”

GWEN

“But for who?”

LENA

“I’m sure you’ve already worked that out. But just in case you haven’t, keep an eye on the case loads over the next few days. It should become abundantly clear.”

GWEN

“I don’t understand.”

LENA

“Yes, you do.”

GWEN

“But… why?”

LENA

““Why” comes later. For now, it’s best you try to process the “what”. I’ll let you know when I have another liaison assignment for you.”

GWEN

“(defeated) I… Ok.”

Gwen opens the door.

LENA

“Oh, and Gwen?”

GWEN

“Yes?”

LENA

“Get some sleep. You look dreadful. Gwen closes the door.”

So here, Lena outright admits that Gwen could’ve died. Last episode I wondered if Nigel apologized to Gwen in case Gwen ended up hurt or killed. Lena’s comment about screaming confirms once again that the Entities are probably still feeding off of fear. We know from TMA that while a lack of fear can keep you safe, displaying fear only for it to wane overtime can cause the Entities followers or monsters to get bored or unsatisfied and just attack you directly if they know that doing so will make you scared.

The fact that Lena says that Gwen should know who’s address and name was in the letter given to Bonzo makes me wonder. It’s possible Lena knows that Gwen simply checked the letter out of curiosity or came across some statement with clues. It’s also possible that at least some of the statements the OIAR gets are somehow related to the organization’s Externals. Lena even says “I’m sure you’ve already worked that out. But just in case you haven’t, keep an eye on the case loads over the next few days. It should become abundantly clear.” Which could imply that at least some of the statements Gwen and her coworkers (I mean subordinates) sift through could have to do with the OIAR’s externals. Maybe it’s the OIAR’s way of following up on their agents or checking the results of their assignments? Or maybe it’s how the OIAR decides where and when to send their Externals? It could also just be The Eye feeding off of the fear present in statements again (something we know it’s prone to do). It could be that the Externals do their job and The Eye or some other Entity squeezes some extra fear out of what they do by archiving things related to the job. Is the OIAR working with others to try to start another mass ritual, or is it trying to stop possible rituals? Maybe their goal has something to do with some of the alchemical symbols present in TMP (such as the logo)?

Lena comes off as extremely cold in this interaction and it’s clear that Lena’s earlier assessment of Gwen might be right, Gwen is not at all prepared for this and doesn’t exactly know what she’s getting into. But this also makes me wonder what happened to the previous Externals Liaison. Did they die? Did they get promoted / demoted? Are there other Liaisons Gwen hasn’t met yet? If there aren’t who was communicating with things like Mr. Bonzo before Gwen took the position? Was Lena just delivering the letters herself? As always, there’s a lot of questions.

Conclusion

There’s a lot of stuff up in the air but currently whatever is going on with the Externals has grabbed my curiosity the most. Mostly in regards to what they could be doing and why. Is Ink5 an External? Was Mr. Bonzo sent to take care of David to make an opening for Ink5 or was Mr. Bonzo sent somewhere else that will show up in a later statement? Most of the stuff I say are possibilities I’m raising but my current guesses about what’s going on are 1. Smirke’s 14 is still around in some capacity (The Extinction could be too, but there’s no evidence one way or the other for that Entity being around) and these Entities are probably the same ones from TMA (if not they are extraordinarily similar) 2. Celia is probably from the TMA universe or at least has some connection to it 3. The OIAR is probably connected to an Entity like The Eye 4. For whatever reason the OIAR (and potentially other parts of the government) are working with various factions tied to the Entities. Whether they are using these monsters and people to fight more dangerous threats or for some other reason I cannot say. Maybe they are trying to set up a new ritual where all the Entities hold equal power? Or maybe they are actually trying to stop future rituals / threats? Who knows.

[krissiedeathyart]

Silver is the ONLY Sober One

Krissie: 3/23/2022 I am mainly making this doc to write down quick random ideas as they come to me.  Especially since I always have my phone on me so I can add to it. So enjoy typos and random words that even I will probably spend a good 30 minutes trying to figure out what the hell my fingers ment. 

Silver felt like vomiting. Was it the greasy food? The soda he drank? Silver wished. He pouted as he looked at Sonic. 

“No.” He said flatly trying to keep from spilling the greasy mushroom pizza he had eaten earlier. Though if he did, he was already planning on spraying Sonic or Rouge with it. 

“Oh come!” Rouge piped up after a sip of whatever wine she was drinking. “Why not? You and Amy get along so well.” 

Silver rolled his eyes. “So do Amy and Knuckles,” Silver pointed at the red echidna next to her. “And I don’t see you two trying to make him date her.” 

Rouge and Sonic stared at Silver. Silver felt trapped. He was the only sober one playing cards. All he wanted to do was play cards instead it turned into the “Let’s try to get Silver to date Amy” game.

“That’s different,” Rouge started.

Silver arched an eyebrow. “I don’t see how it is.”

“Simple,” Sonic stated, “Knuckles isn’t attracted to Amy.” 

“Neither am I,” Silver nearly growled. “But it’s not stopping either of you, is it?”

Knuckles tilted his head. “You have an angry setting?”

Silver slammed his head onto the table. Why can’t we just play cards?

The door to the garage opened and Shadow walked up to the table where everyone was sat. “What are you doing?” He glared in his usual tone. 

“Playing cards.” Rouge looked up from another sip of wine. 

“And trying to get Silver to date Amy.” Sonic blurted.

Shadow arched an eyebrow. “Is.. he drunk?” he muttered.

“Very…” Silver groaned. 

“And Silver has an angry setting!” Knuckles laughed. He turned to stare at Silver with his face on the table. “Though I think he’s resetting now.”

Shadow stared at Knuckles and then at Rouge with a look that said, “This is who you love, huh?”

Rouge merely smiled and nodded. 

“Alright,” Shadow sighed. “Stop messing with Silver. He’s levietaging things in the garage. And I’m trying to work on my bike.”

“Sorry Shadow…” Silver muttered into the table. 

“If I have to come back up here, I’m confiscating him.” Shadow warned as he walked back to the garage. 

“Confiscate?” Sonic laughed. “Pfft. What is this, school? And what does that make Silver?”

Knuckles shrugged, “Weed?” 

Sonic cackled as Knuckles joined him in the laughing fit. 

Silver turned his head to the side so he could look up at the bat. Once her teal eyes made contact with his golden ones, he darted his eyes to gesture at the two drunk men and then back at her. “You going to stop them?” being his silent question.

Rouge smiled as she fondly looked at Knuckles. She shook her head. 

Silver sighed. Of course, she wouldn’t put a damper on their parade. Silver closed his eyes and took in several breaths. If Shadow had to come back up here to remind him NOT to levitate the things in his garage again, it wouldn’t end well for him. Silver did not need, nor want, another one of Shadow’s roundhouse kicks to the head. Once was enough, thank you very much. Luckily, or unluckily, Silver had erased that timeline, so only he remembered it. That and the whole, he tried to kill Sonic thing. Silver counted his blessings that no one remembered that timeline. It sucked anyway.

“But seriously,” Rouge tapped Silver on the shoulder. “Why not Amy?”

“UGH…” Silver sat up, rubbing his hands down his face in annoyance. “She’s a great friend. Yes, she’s pretty. But I’m not attracted to her.” 

“Are you sure?” Sonic tilted his head. “Because you look at her differently than you do others.”

Silver let out several sounds, but no words would come to him. He pouted as he looked at Sonic. “I do not.” Silver crossed his arms.

Knuckles burst into another fit of laughter. “You sure you don’t have a crush on Amy at least?” 

Silver contemplated throwing the red echidna out the window. Though Rouge would kick his butt for it. He could vomit on him. But he wasn’t a pusher like Sonic or Rouge. If Silver had to vomit, he would rather vomit on one of the pushers. 

[dulcewrites]

What do you think about this: you work with Steve Binder for the 68 special and Austin!Elvis develops a crush on you during your time working with him? I just watched Elvis. Down bad.

Ask cont: Same anon. I forgot to add to the last request about the 68 special. OC is black and he dedicates a song (if you could call it that - trying to get to you or another song of your choosing). Thanks for taking these requests. Your writing is so good!!

Can’t Help Falling in Love

Pairing: Austin!elvis x black!reader (wc: 2730)

Requested: yes (thank you for saying you love my writing 🫶🏽, and thank you for sending this in.)

A/N: I was excited to write something from the special. If this goes well, I might still write my journalist!reader idea. Priscilla does not exist in this universe. Elvis is giving us eternal bachelor vibes till he meets the reader. In terms of timing since this is in 68 so elvis is 33 and oc/reader is 27. I want this to focus more on the behind the scenes of the special rather than the special itself. I’m pretty sure this is typo free but sorry if there is some.

There are some days you wonder what you’ve gotten yourself into.

You’ve always loved tv and film. It’s why you, despite the pleading from you parent not to, moved out to California after graduating from college. You’ve been out here since then, doing odd tv jobs here and there till you met Steve Binder on a set in 65. Sheer timing, and you being probably the most determined and capable woman he’s ever met led to him hiring you as his executive assistant. You’ve worked your way up from there to a production coordinator. You were his right-hand woman.

It’s been amazing but you seem to find yourself in peculiar situations a lot of the time. Today being an example of that. You were a bit taken aback when Steve told you the meeting wouldn’t be in the office, but up in the Hollywood Hills. And then you were even more shocked as the ride went on and realized the Hollywood hills was meant… literally.

“I didn’t wear the right shoes for this,” you mutter holding onto the door after a particularly turbulent turn.

Steve looks over his orange sunglasses down to your new red slingbacks and raises an eyebrow with a smile.

“Who are you trying to impress with those,” he asks with a laugh, and you roll your eyes.

“Myself. They went on sale, and I’ve been eyeing them for a couple months.”

Your tailored black cigarette pants and your sleeveless red ruffled shirt were new and bought after convincing yourself you deserved to treat yourself. Your fashion sense was always something important to you. Looking good and looking the part helped you navigate a workspace you sometimes felt small in.

You flinch when the car comes to a extreme stop after sliding into a flat area overlooking Los Angeles. You still don’t know who you guys are supposed to be meeting; being in the dark is not something you’re used to. Steve just told you this probably wasn’t going to be a normal meeting and left it at that.

Bones, who rode in another other car, gives you two an equally quizzical glance when you all get out. The whole situation is strange. The meeting location, the cars being sent, and the accompanying men who drove you guys.

“Mr. Binder, Mr. Howe thanks for coming,” a man with aviators and shaggy hair like Steve’s says. “I’m Jerry Schilling, we spoke on the phone.”

You wait for him to introduce who he works for, but it doesn’t come; he simply walks towards the Hollywood sign.

Steve graciously holds out his arm for you to take as you guys walk on a rocky, dirt path. Yeah, you’re going to regret wearing these shoes. You all follow Jerry till you get the Hollywood sign. The man sitting in the sign has his back slightly turned toward you. All you can make out is an impeccably tailored suit and rich dark hair.

“When I first came to Hollywood, I’d come up here and sit for hours,” his voice rich and twangy. As a southern girl yourself, it reminds you a bit of home.

It wasn’t until the man turned to the group and took his sunglasses off that you realized you guys were standing in front on Elvis Presley. What could he possibly want with Steve and Bones? And honestly what the hell would Steve and Bones want with him? There are talks he’s doing some kitschy holiday special for NBC.

There’s something so.. melancholy about his dementor. Warm but slightly defeated. He takes the time to compliment the guys on their work with the T.A.M.I Show.

“Elvis, we are big fans of yours,” Steve starts earnestly. “But Christmas specials aren’t really our thing.”

Elvis nods, his eyes growing from Bones, to Steve, and then landing on you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen eyes that blue. The intensity of his eyes makes you need to hold back a shiver.

“Tell me honestly, where you think my career is at?”

You’re a little surprised he’s asking you and not the boys that. You pull your sunglasses to look him in the eye off and sigh.

“Well… it’s in the toilet Mr. Presley,” you say then wincing a bit.

It’s the truth. You personally can’t remember the last time you’ve heard someone mention Elvis for anything outside of the couple box office bombs he’s been in recently. There’s a moment of silence amongst the group, and you start to fear you’ve said the wrong thing. You’ve been around your fair share of entertainers that don’t like being told the truth.

The tension is broken when he breaks into a huge grin and gives a hearty laugh, turning to Jerry who is also laughing at your bluntness.

“See I knew this was the team I needed for this job,” he says.

Based on his tone and words you get the vibe that he isn’t used to having people around him that are honest and want to truly help him. He gets up from his seat in the sign.

“When you’re lost, people take advantage,” he has a desperate look in his eyes. “I need you guys to help me get back who I really am.”

“And what does the colonel think about all of this?” asks Bones.

“I really don’t give a damn about what the colonel this.” Elvis replies firmly.

Steve looks at you with an eyebrow raised, and you recognize that gleam in his eyes. He wants to do this. You can see the little creative gears turning that head of his. He wants to help, and you get why. There is something… horribly earnest about Elvis. Very few people of his status would even go this far to ask for help. You try not to let personal feelings affect your work but his want to get back to a happier place tug on your heartstrings a bit. You give Steve a simple nod before he turns to Bones who gives him an accepting smile.

You sigh internally as you watch Steve and Bones give Elvis handshakes in agreement. This is either going to be the best thing y’all have ever done or… you don’t even want to think of the other outcome.

“He wants what now?” you ask wondering if you heard Steve wrong.

Rehearsals for the special began in early June. You were first tasked with finding the best backup dancers and singers you could find in Los Angeles. The try outs were easy enough. Set designers had been called, and choreographers and stylist had been flown out. The show was slowly but surely coming together.

“We need trained kung fu fighters with a dance background or trained dancers with a kung fu background,” he repeats nonchalantly. “Whichever is easier to find.”

You stare at him for a second realizing he isn’t pulling your leg, and you add it to your ever growing list of things to do.

“And I need you to oversee Elvis’s outfit fitting in like 5 minutes.”

“But you love costume day,” you laugh at the disappointment on his face.

“I do,” he starts, a growing smile comes over his lips and you know where’s he’s going with this. “But he specifically asked for you. Said he trusts your opinion.”

“Don’t start.”

“I can’t believe Elvis Presley has a crush on my employee,” he laughs.

It’s been a running thing that Steve won’t let go. It started after Elvis told you during the first week of rehearsals that if every producer looked like you, he would’ve gone into tv instead of film. And the teasing got worse when you received flowers from him when he went back to Memphis for a week. Is it extremely flattering? Yes. Is it professional? God no. And if it’s one thing you are, it is professional.

“I think he’s trying to court you,” Steve shrugs. “He asked if I knew if you were more a jewelry or shoes type of woman.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“And what did you say?”

“That you like both of course.”

You roll your eyes. Well, yes that’s true…. but Elvis did not need to know that!

“I also said that though you like the finer things in life, you are not the type of woman that is bought,” Steve reassures.

That statement makes you feel a bit better. You have a lot of your plate. The last thing you need is someone trying to flirt with you just because they can. Let alone someone that’s famous and known for his womanizing. He’ll finish this special and move on to the next pair of nice legs he sees.

Hearing that he specifically asked for you makes you a little nervous for what’s in store. While you can appreciate Elvis’s commitment to bold fashion choices, you are quite sure you and him do not have the same taste.

Taking in a deep breath, you knock on the door to the studio wardrobe room.

“Come in,” a familiar voice call from within the room.

You walk in to see Bill Belew. The wide room consists of various mirrors, fabrics laying around, and different garment hanging on dress mannequins.

“Ah there you are. We are just getting started,” Bill smiles at you, making room on the couch for you. “Elvis is trying something on right now.”

You nod sitting down. You look around at some of the outfits on the mannequins. An array of different color tailored suits. As well as outfits you assume are for the backup dancers and singers. Vibrant pink miniskirts catch your eye.

“Elvis are you ready?” Bill calls to the curtained part of the room. He turns to you with a hushed voice. “We’re very excited about this outfit.”

You think of Bones words when you all sat down for the first meeting.

We need an outfit that signifies his start. Something dirty and raw. Something rebellious.

Your thoughts are broken by Elvis pulling back the curtain. You’re sure your eyebrows shot up to your hair line. He’s wearing a full leather outfit; the jacket is open slightly revealing a bit of his chest. It’s tight, it’s shiny, and frankly it’s sexy. You can’t help the smile that comes over your face. It really doesn’t get any more rebellious than full head to toe leather.

“Wow,” is all you can make out, and Elvia gives you a curious look.

“A good wow or bad wow sweetheart?”

“A very good wow,” you say honestly. “You look great really. I think the guys are going to love it.”

He looks a bit sheepish at your compliment. Bill begins doing small alterations on the suit while going over other outfits he thinks would work for the special. Despite how good he looked in the leather, your personal favorite is the burgundy suit he tries on.

By the way he looked at himself in the mirror, you can tell he’s still nervous about the whole thing. It hits again how important this is to him, to his career.

“This is going to be good,” you start when Bill leaves after the try-on session. “Steve and Bones are the best. With your talent and the guys' vision, everything will work out.”

You don’t know that for sure. In fact, this special could go very wrong but he does not need to hear that.

He doesn’t look all that convinced but none the less gives you a smile.

“You know what would make me feel a bit better,” his lowers a bit. “Dinner... with you.”

You should’ve seen that coming. All the advances he’s made leads to him wanting a date. But you’re still a little shocked he asked. You know you’re a catch, but you haven’t had someone fixate on you like this.

“Elvis, I don’t think that would be appropriate.”

“That’s the point honey, I don’t want to be appropriate with you,” he says sitting next you on the couch, his smile even brighter. “I want to very inappropriate with you.”

Despite the situation, his statements makes you laugh. He’s too charming for his own good. For your own good too.

“Let’s get through the show, and I’ll get back to you.”

Being around talented people is just one perk of your job, but it’s easily one of your favorite things about it. People in front and behind the camera, all coming together to make something beautiful. The past few days of filming the special have been no different.

There’s been some trying times so far. Your argument with Elvis’s promoter/manager being one of them. You already didn’t like that colonel guy, but after the third time (in one day) he bulldozes his way into the control editing room, you kind of lose it on him.

You don’t know how Elvis has put up with him for so long. And your distain for him only grows after seeing how he treats Elvis during the shooting.

It was Steve’s idea that Elvis should make some sort of statement on the state of the country. One thing you like about your job is the escapism of tv, especially in times like this when it feels like the world is on fire. Steve’s idea was much to the chagrin on Colonel Parker.

You feel your eyes glaze over once you hear the words ‘Christmas’ and ‘Here Comes Santa Claus’ come out of the colonel’s mouth… again. You think he might make you hate the holiday by the end of filming.

“I can take him out for you,” you joke trying to get Elvis to laugh after a particularly ugly argument between him and Colonel Parker, and he just gives you a watery smile.

“This is your career and life. You need to do what you feel is best,” you squeeze his hand. “Sometimes you have to put stuff on the line for something you believe in.”

It’s a simple statement. You know little about music, especially compared to how Elvis. It does warm your heart, and make you a bit emotional, when he sings you the lyrics to a new song. A beautiful song that clearly expresses how he feels about everything that’s going on in the world.

You had grown so close during this process. It’s hard to believe it’s coming to an end soon. If either of you had a problem or anxious feeling about something, you go to each other. But after this, he’s going to go back to Graceland, and you and Steve move onto the next project. Growing attached to projects, let alone people, is not good in this business.

More sit-down segments are being shot in front of an audience. You catch glimpses here and there of different performances as you run around fixing different small problems that pop up. You finally get a chance to breathe after going back up to the control room.

“I actually wanted to dedicate the next song to someone very special I’ve met during this time,” the words make you pause a bit.

You can feel Steve’s and Bones’s eyes on you. The all too familiar starting notes to Can’t Help Falling in Love starts playing.

Oh god

Instead of the embarrassment you expect to feel, you try not to melt in the puddle of mushy feelings. What is this man doing to you?

"Maybe you should go down," Steve whispers to you. "We can take a break after this song."

You give him a nervous look. You're toeing a dangerous line with Elvis, but Steve has never been one to tell you to back down from stressful situations. He always seems to be the one making you run to them.

You get up slowly. You probably look weird with the number of times you turned around, then turned back convincing yourself to just go down. By the time you made it down, they had stopped rolling. You and Elvis made eye contact from across the room, and you wave him over. He gives the guitar he was using for the song to one of the stagehands before walking over to you.

"That was really inappropriate," you say when he finally gets over to you. He winces clearly not expecting that reaction. "But... luckily for you, I maybe want to be inappropriate with you too."

He breaks out into grin.

"Let's talk about that dinner baby."

[morganofthewildfire]

-----------------------------------------------------

The Trouble With Tinder

part 2

-----------------------------------------------------

part 1 here

CW: NSFW

i know this probably sucks 😅 it felt very awkward to write, but it's finally here!!! let me know what you think!

-----------------------------------------------------

Her first thought was to chuck her phone across her room. What the fuck? 

“Oh you’re so stupid,” she said to herself, immediately sitting up on her knees, staring at the screen below. Not only did she swipe right, seemingly so did he. So yeah, what the fuck?

Tinder had opened up a chat screen for the two of them, almost taunting the hell it’d brought down on her. Even if she ignored it, what was she supposed to say at work on Monday?

Oh yeah, sorry I was drunk and horny. I saw your shirtless pic and I wanted to lick you all over. 

Because that would go well. 

He couldn’t judge her too much, because he’d apparently done the same. She’d curated her profile to perfection with Lysandra months ago, and there were several thirst traps on there. It was probably the same situation. Maybe they could both just sweep it under the rug.

But her traitorous thumb thought differently. 

Instead of shutting off her phone and going to bed like she should, she typed out -

< What are you doing on here?

It sent before she could stop herself, and she flopped back down onto her bed, groaning. She was contemplating just never leaving the bed, until she had a little ping signaling a response. 

Warily, she grabbed her phone again, swiping it open to reveal a response.

> I could ask you the same

Her lip was tucked beneath her teeth, her toes curling in the disheveled comforter as she heard the words replay in her head in his voice. That deep, smooth voice. It was probably raspy in the morning, gravelly and all growly after a night of steamy sex…

< Five shots and three cocktails, that’s why I’m here

She was surprised her words weren’t more cluttered with typos, she was a messy texter when she was sober. So maybe the alcohol had somehow made her more coherent, or at least sound more coherent. 

> six shots and two whiskeys, I’ve got you beat

His response came, and she rolled over onto her back, her thumbs typing faster than she could think. Her brain was not in charge of this conversation, her body was.

> Is that why you swiped right? 

His response was almost instantaneous.

> Who says I swiped right?

She frowned, typing out -

< What do you mean? We matched idiot

What a creative insult. She would’ve done better without the alcohol coursing through her system. 

> Fenrys had my phone, thought you were hot

Oh Fenrys. One of his friends. The only semi cool one. All of the others, who she’d met unwillingly at an office happy hour, were absolute grumpsters. Especially Lorcan Salvaterre. Fenrys had been fine, a little too peppy for her, but they got along better than others. 

And apparently thought she was hot? And swiped right for his friend?

She didn’t get it. And she was going to make it his problem.

< What about you Rowan?

< Do you think I’m hot?

There was no response for a sickeningly long time, and Aelin was gnawing at her lip, debating on whether she should throw out her phone or not when he finally answered.

> Why do you think I’m messaging you right now?

It was an answer, but it also wasn’t an answer, and she decided to pry further, pursing her lips as she typed in a fury.

< To further demean and criticize my work at the office? It’s your favorite hobby after all

She wasn’t sure she was breathing as the typing bubble popped up, disappearing and reappearing several times before he finally hit send.

> Because I saw your godsdamned pictures and I want to fuck that sass out of you

She definitely wasn’t breathing. Her heart was thudding heavily in her chest, her whole body alight with flame as she read and reread those dirty words. 

A haze had taken her over, lust clouding absolutely every inch of common sense as she typed back -

< What’s stopping you?

A heavy breath escaped her as she hit send, her body pulsing as she waited for his reply. This was dangerous, this was bad, this wasn’t going to go well. But in that moment … she didn’t care. 

An uncountable amount of time passed as she waited, and the silence pressed on her, weighing down on every inch of her heated skin until… her phone rang.

Her breath caught as she saw the contact information pop up on the screen. Rowan Shitthorn. She’d had to save his number for work reasons, but she also hadn’t been able to resist cursing him out at the same time, professionalism be damned.

They were about to throw professionalism even further out the window, but she couldn’t find it in herself to regret it as she pressed accept on the phone call, lifting the device up to her ear.

Silence fell again, her heart pounding as she waited for him to say something, undoubtedly as he waited for her to say something too. All she could hear was the sound of her own shallow breaths, mingling with the hoarse ones of his rumbling across the line.

Every nerve in her body was already on edge, one touch sending a bolt of lightning skittering across every inch of her skin.

“What are you wearing?” His voice rumbled through the phone, and her eyes fluttered shut, her free hand crumpling the material at her waist. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she said, forever insufferable, her core turning to liquid at the growl he let out.

“I’m guessing it’s a dress,” Rowan said, his voice low. “Something tight and impossibly short. So short I bet my hand could slip right up under it without any trouble at all.” Her flush spread from her cheeks down her neck and across her chest, her body craving something, craving him. 

“Would you, Rowan?” She breathed. “If you were here right now, would you touch me?”

“Gods, yes,” he cursed, his words coming out in a groan that made her body melt even more. “I shouldn’t, but I want to.” She could hear the slight slurring in his voice, betraying that he was just as drunk as her, but if anything it was better. They could just write this off as a drunken mistake, right?

“What would you do?” Aelin asked, her voice low and breathy. She put the phone on speaker, setting it next to her on the sheets. With her now free hands, she glided her fingertips across her exposed skin, every touch a little burst of energy. “What would you do to me, Rowan?”

She loved saying his name. She didn’t say it enough.

“Are you touching yourself?” He said, his voice an enthralling purr. 

“Yes,” she whispered. One hand had dipped below the hem of her impossibly short dress, tracing the damp fabric of her underwear, the other up by her breasts, toying with her sensitive peaks through the dress.

“Stop it,” he said, and she blinked in surprise, her eyes cracking open. But her hands did stall.

“What?” Aelin asked, her stomach dropping as she worried she might’ve misread this whole situation. Maybe he was ready for some dirty talk and some flirting, but not anywhere near this far. 

“You’re only going to touch yourself when I tell you to.” 

Oh. Oh. 

She pulled both her hands from their respective places, instead letting them fall to her sides. 

“Well?” She said, her voice strained as her eyes fell shut again. Maybe that would make it easier to pretend that he was there with her for real. “I’m waiting.”

A chuckle crackled across the phone, and she shivered. 

“Is that slutty dress of yours still on?” He said smoothly, and she fought the noise trying to escape her. She didn’t often indulge in the spicier side of her sexual preferences, never having really been in a serious enough relationship to voice them. But here she was, with a man she was not in a relationship with, but who’d been able to guess what she wanted from a few words.

“Yes,” she whispered, heat pooling in her core.

“Then take it off,” he ordered, and she followed suit, sliding the straps of the dress down until she could pull it off her body. “Good girl.” 

Her cheeks flushed at the praise. 

“What about you?” She couldn’t help but snark back. “Are you hard?” She let the words sit before continuing. “Does thinking about me touching myself make you want to touch yourself too?”

“I always want to touch myself when I think of you.”

The words were somehow a mix of strangely vulnerable, while also dirty, and creepy if said by anyone else in any other situation. Right here, right now, she didn’t know what to say. 

And it seemed neither did he, and they fell into a charged silence.

All she could hear were his heavy breaths, and a shuffling of clothes she could recognize as his pants. Imagining his hand around his cock, jerking himself off to thoughts of her made her need grow even more desperate, and she couldn’t help but voice it.

“Where would you touch me, Rowan?” Aelin asked, “If you were here, where would you touch me?” He hesitated, and before she could stop herself she nearly begged - “Please, Rowan. I need you.”

It was something she would normally pride herself on never saying, certainly never to him, but here they were. 

“I’d start with those pretty tits of yours,” he said. “Rough them up a bit and tease those nipples until they’re red and aching for me.” She let out a moan, her hands following his words, massaging her breasts and rubbing her nipples with her thumbs, occasionally pinching them between two fingers.

“Then what,” she gasped, eyes squeezed closed. Her turls curled in her sheets, her knees propped up to the ceiling. 

“I’d drag my tongue down that delicious body of yours,” he continued, and she followed the path with her hands, “before peeling that scrap of fabric around your hips away and devouring you like you’re the best damn meal I’ve ever tasted.”

A deep moan escaped her as she circled her clit with a finger, both from his words and from the heavy touch. 

“Oh fuck,” Aelin cursed under her breath as she pressed a finger into herself, and then another.

“Are you wet, Aelin?” Rowan growled, “Are you wet for me, baby?” 

“I’m so wet,” she gasped, thrusting her fingers in and out of her soaked pussy. “Gods, Rowan,” she moaned, “I need you so bad.”

Tomorrow Aelin was going to absolutely murder Today Aelin. But as she neared that cliff of pleasure, as she massaged her breast with one hand and fingered herself with the other, she gave absolutely zero fucks.

She heard him grunting through the phone and she knew he was close too. 

“Come for me, baby,” Rowan said, no ordered, and who was she to resist? 

She shattered around her fingers, noises she’d never made before slipping out of her mouth as she climaxed harder than she had in a long time. White crept into her vision, her core tightening and her body thrashing a bit as she fell into the grasps of pleasure. She heard groaning and knew he was coming too.

The thought just made the pleasure that much stronger.

When she finally came down, she panted for air, her hair stuck to her sweaty skin, her sheets scrunched up around her from the jostling. Heavy breathing sounded in her ears, his breathing, and it was only her post-orgasm clarity that made her realize what she’d just done. What they’d just done. 

Gods, she needed to stop drinking.

------

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[storytimewithanonwriter]

Songbird

Single mom! reader xTASP! Peter Parker

Hi all!! This is my second attempt at a fic! This time I'm going with a series! I'm not sure how many parts. This is a slow-burn fic. Feedback is welcome!!!

Warning for series: fluff, a cute baby, mention of food, mention of sex, implied sex, blood, and injuries, curse words, the use of y/n…, nicknames for the reader: love, bird, songbird, birdie ( probably more), not the best writing and lots of typos !! Lol

Late one night after patrol, he heard the sweet lullaby coming from the window below him. Peter was so tired and bruised. The sweet voice was like a bandage for his soul.

Baby mine, don't you cry

Baby mine, dry your eyes

Rest your head close to my heart

Never to part, baby of mine

He never really noticed his downstairs neighbor. He had seen her in passing with a small baby girl, not even a two years old a few times, but never stopped to talk to her. Always having a destination to be. Peter thought she was about his age maybe younger. She was rather beautiful, but she always looked tired, somewhat sad, and a little lonely.

Soon the sweet song ended and Peter began to hear crying. Not the cries of the infant, but her mother.

“Maisie girl, I’m so sorry. This is not the life I had planned for you. I always thought your dad would be here. I thought that we would… huh. ….I don’t even know what I’m doing. I just know I love you so so much. , baby girl.”

Peter’s heart broke.

…

“ Shit! Shit! Shit! I’m gonna be late. “ you were running around your apartment. Maisie had been up almost all night keeping you up. Not being able to miss anymore days, and not going to work wasn’t an option. Plus no one would pick up a sub job this late, and it was a performance day for your students. They had worked on a class play for the past month. So, you scrambled around and grabbed your bag and baby to make your way down the hall.

As you are entering the elevator, you noticed your upstairs neighbor. You always thought he was very handsome, but you could see a very familiar sadness in his eyes. Maisie was so chipper and talkative this morning.

“ bbbb...dddd..haha… pppp… ddddd …. Heheh!” a smiling Maisie was speaking to your neighbor.

“ well, nice to meet you as well, little one. I'm Peter.” Peter held out his hand to little Maisie. She smiled big and giggled at him .

“ She doesn't meet a stranger. This is Maisie and I'm Y/N. “ you say laughing.

“ It’s nice finally learn your names. I have seen you around. “ Peter said as the elevator door opened.

“ Yeah. We really haven’t made it around to meet the neighbors yet. Maybe we will see you again soon. Bye, Peter .” Any other day you could have chatted for a while but we're going to be late dropping Maisie to daycare. So, you exited quickly while Maisie gave a wave to Peter.

…

Drop off for Maisie’s classroom is at 7:00. It was 7:20. You hope they will let her go to class even though you were late. The principal at your school had been so accommodating due to the circumstances, but she definitely would have a problem with you teaching with Maisie toddling around all day. As you make your way to the front office of Maisie’s school where Val greeted you with a smile,

“ Good Morning Maisie! Good morning, Y/N. I see we are a little late this morning!”

“ I’m so sorry! Maisie was up all night. I couldn’t get my act together, but we are here now.”

“Well, normally I would not be allowed to permit her back since you are so late … but would you look at that my clock is running super fast it doesn’t match up with my phone. You two are right on time. I will take Maisie and you can get on your way, mama.”

“ thank you so much Val I owe you”

You make your way back to the subway and head toward work. Looking at the time, you had time to make a pit stop on the way to work.

…

Peter smiled as he watched you dash away. Little Maisie waved as you exited and it melted Peter’s heart. Peter never took the elevator, but he thought he may get to see you there. Ever since he heard your voice, he couldn’t get you out of his head. He had time to kill before work, so he headed to a coffee shop to work on some photo editing.

About 30 minutes into his coffee shop visit, he saw a familiar face entering the shop. He caught a good look at you this time. You were beautiful. He thought back to your words to your baby the night before and wonder what caused your sadness. Without thinking, Peter got up and walked over to greet you. You were in your world thinking about your day. Hoping that your sister Eliza remembers to pick up Maisie and bring her to you at the theatre since you had rehearsal. You also were trying to remember if you packed your lunch and Maisie’s snacks for the day. You didn’t even notice Peter standing there until he spoke up.

“ Fancy meeting you here.”

“ Oh! Hey, Peter. Nice to see you again this morning. “

“ I see Miss Maisie made it to where she was going this morning.”

“ Ahh, yes. She had important business meetings with all of the 12-month-olds at her school. She is already CEO of the Butterfly classroom. One could say she is a girl boss. “ you laughed

Peter laughed as well “ She seems pretty great. You know I didn’t even realize there was a baby downstairs until I heard you singing her to sleep the other night. I mean I knew that you two lived in the building but not exactly where you did. She is just so quiet and I never really hear her. Never screaming or crying. I honestly thought you two lived at least two floors down. I mean I never heard…I’m rambling…”

“It’s ok Peter . “ you laughed “ I'm so sorry you had to hear my lousy singing voice. I did realize I was that loud”

“ No! Your voice was fantastic. I loved it. You sang so sweetly. Very soothing .”

“ Coffee for Y/N!”

“ well, I better get going. I can’t leave my students waiting. high schoolers unattended in a theatre just doesn’t go well. Have a great day, Pete “ you said as you exited

“ You too, songbird “

The nickname made you blush.

Part 1 of ???

[cryonme]

𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐈𝐕

PART FOUR- “I Can’t Stop Thinking About The Way You Held Me That Night After The Boneyard And I Think I Need You To Do It Again.”

part one here

part two here

part three here

short series-- jj maybank x kook!reader

word count- 4.2k

tw- scratching, panic, description of bruises and cuts, big ol mental breakdown, swearing, self deprecation, fluff if you fuckin squint harder than you ever have in your life, mentions of blood, hints at sexual assault, mentions of wanting to throw up probably more please tell me if I missed something :( typos guaranteed

a/n- thank you for being so patient for this part! it was a busy couple days for Roxie!! again, the reader talks a lot of self deprecation, and I want to make it clear, I do not agree with her views on herself. please remember that I don't think of victims that way, I just wanted to write accurately. love you all so much!

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

You were basically a shell of a human being for the next week.

Your dad and Christine had told Shoupe that it was no surprise to them that Tyler had done this, and explained that they had kicked him out of the house and why. Tyler was apparently “nowhere to be found”, very convenient, considering the police were looking for him.

All you wanted was to go see your friends, you wanted to tell them everything. You wanted to apologize for the way you treated them and thank them for saving you.

But your dad and Christine had you practically locked up in your room.

You were afraid to even ask to leave, knowing they would get upset again. You avoided bringing up the situation at all, not wanting to see the sad looks on their faces.

So, you waited. You waited a week to see your friends just so you wouldn’t have to go through the awkward sadness.

“Dad?” You asked softly as you walked into his office, hands shoved in the back pockets of your blue jean shorts. He was writing at his desk, his fingers flying across the keyboard. He started working from home when he got the call from Christine about what had happened. You hadn’t told either of them what you know yet, you needed to know more before telling someone as powerful as your father.

“Hey, honey.” He turned in his chair and smiled, taking his glasses off, giving you a warm smile.

You and your dad had a good relationship. You weren’t best friends, you didn’t tell him everything, you didn’t hang out often. But, he loved you with everything he had, and would do, and has done, just about anything for you.

“Hey,” You started, fidgeting with your hands and the rings on your fingers. “I uh- I was wondering if- Everyone’s going to John B’s today and I really miss my friends and Pope and JJ and John B will all be there so they can protect me if anything happens and-”

“(Y/n),” Your dad started but you kept rambling.

“And I just think it’s really important for me to get out of the house especially-”

“You can go.”

“Because of what happened here and I just- wait, I can?”

Your dad nodded, standing up and placing his hand on your shoulders, looking straight into your eyes with his (y/c/e) eyes, sullen and misty.

“I agree, I think you should go.”

You smiled and wrapped your arms around your dad, squeezing extra tight. He let out a watery laugh and kissed your head.

“I’m really sorry kiddo. I can’t believe I wasn’t-” He stopped for a moment and let out a deep sigh, “I just can’t believe I let it go on for so long.” You frowned and just hugged your dad tighter. “You didn’t let anything go on, it’s my fault.”

Your dad's lip quivered and he rested his chin on your head, “It’s no one’s fault but his, let’s say that.

You nodded in agreement, “Let’s.”

After a couple more apologies and just a few more tears, you and your dad pulled away and you made your way back to your room, after stopping by Christine’s room to tell her you were leaving and promising 50 times to be so safe, and sent a text to Sarah.

*Can I hitch a ride to JB’s?*

It took about 15 seconds for her to reply.

OH THANK GOD

YES WTF

You smiled at your phone and shook your head, almost giddy with excitement to see your best friends. You knew Sarah was probably gonna pick you up in less than a couple minutes, so you stuck with the outfit you had on already, opting against a swimsuit. Your cuts and bruises had healed and faded immensely, but they were still there, and you’d rather skip the pity glances and sad looks. Your hands were still wrapped in compression wrap from the force of Tyler’s kick, along with your left knee and rib cage, your neck covered in red, ugly scratches from your panic attacks, and you had to be very careful with your movements so you wouldn’t worsen your concussion. You were already in a lot of pain, and having to deal with your emotional pain today would just be too much. You knew they came from a good place, and they were just concerned, but that’s not what you were there for today, you had a lot more problems in your future than just a couple injuries.

Once Sarah had texted you that she was waiting outside, you made your way downstairs, bidding your parents one last goodbye before walking out the front door and giving your best friend a wave as you made your way to her passenger seat.

“I’m not gonna hug you because I’m afraid I’ll squeeze you too tight and I know you’re injured.”

You giggled and leaned over the center console, giving her a quick kiss on top of her head and a big smile. “I would offer you my hand to squeeze but unfortunately my hands did not make it out unscathed.”

Sarah just nodded, taking in your appearance for a moment before clearing her throat and starting her car, blinking hard a couple times as she made her way out of your neighborhood.

“I didn’t tell anyone you’re coming, they’ll be so excited.” She forced a smile to her face and you returned it.

You knew she was having a really hard time having you in her car, forced to look at you and remember the day they found you nearly unconscious with Tyler’s hand around your throat.

You probably looked disgusting.

You pulled down the mirror to examine your face, your eye was still swollen and discolored, your lip as well. You had a yellowing bruise on your right cheekbone and a healing cut on your eyebrow right above it.

A sight to see.

“(Y/n/n)...”

“Please don’t, S.” You said softly, flipping the mirror back up in its place and turning to your blonde haired friend, giving her a weak smile. “Just making sure they’re healing okay. Forgot to check before we left.”

Sarah just nodded, not looking convinced by your untrue words.

+

The sound of Sarah’s tires rolling over the dirt road made your stomach flip, you weren’t ready yet. You didn’t want to see John B’s sad eyes, or Kiara’s quivering lip, or Pope’s lingering eyes on your bandages.

You didn’t wanna see JJ’s face, you’d turn to putty if you saw even an ounce of hurt in those pretty blue eyes.

You took a deep breath when Sarah finally rolled up to the Chateau, trying to calm your shaking hands, using one to steady the other, but it was no use since they were both unsteady. You mustered up all of your courage and confidence and opened the car door, immediately spotting your friends on John B’s wrap around porch, drinking beers and laughing.

They don’t miss you. You had told yourself, stopping in your tracks and raking your hands through your hair, suddenly wanting to cry. Look how much fun they’re having without you.

What you hadn’t seen was the pogues sitting in silence only moments before, sullen looks on their faces as they forced light conversation and jokes, before one finally made them laugh, bringing peace to the friends for just a moment.

“Hey,” Sarah stood in front of you, hands on your cheeks. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t have to. Her eyes looking into yours with nothing but love and compassion was enough. “Come on.” She nodded encouragingly and grabbed your hand, pulling you behind her as she approached the screen door.

You wanted to throw up.

The door cracked open, it’s rusty hinges making a high pitched squeaking noise.

And there it was.

John B’s sad eyes.

Kiara’s quivering lip.

Pope’s eyes glued to your bandages.

You didn’t look at JJ.

“Fuck.” Kiara breathed out as she quickly stood up from her spot to hug you, but quickly stopped herself as she got closer and could see the damage more clearly. She stared at you a moment with teary eyes, not sure what to do.

“Just hug me, weirdo.” You said, grabbing her arm and pulling her in for a light hug.

“God, I just wanna squeeze you.” She muttered, her mouth pressed against your shoulder.

“Please don’t.” You said, only half joking.

You both giggled and pulled away, you gave her a small smile before squeezing her shoulders.

“Love you, Kie.”

“I love you way more, how are you doing?”

You just shook your head, “I’d rather not get into that, if that’s okay.”

Kie just nodded. She should’ve known better with you, of course you weren’t gonna answer that question.

“At least you’re not lying.” John B said, pulling you into a light hug much like the one you had with Kie moments before, his arms around your shoulders while your cheek rested on his chest, his chin on top of your head.

“Love you, bub. Glad you’re okay.” He said into your hair before leaving a slight kiss, pulling away to put his hand in Sarah’s, his gaze lingering on your broken down figure.

Pope just kept looking at you, obviously freaked out.

“Hey, Heyward.” You put your hand under his chin, bringing his eyes up to yours. You smiled at the boy and nodded, “I’m okay.”

Pope reached one hand up to grab yours, hot holding it too tight, but just enough to tell you how much he loves you. “I’m happy you’re here.”

JJ watched as you had a heartfelt moment with each of your friends, but wouldn’t spare a single glance in his direction. She had whispered his name in pain just a week ago, wanting him by her side, and now she won’t look at him.

She realized what a piece of shit you are.

The pogues sensed the tension, all of them standing up and heading inside the house to give you two a moment alone. You wanted to beg them to stay, or follow them inside even. Grab a bag of chips and flop yourself onto the couch with your head in Pope’s lap, giggling at John B and Sarah’s lovers quarrel in the kitchen.

But you had to face this head on, you had to face JJ head on. It was time.

“Why won’t you look at me?” JJ asked, trying to mask his anger, it wasn’t working.

“I-”

“After all this, I thought we were past the hatred, (Y/n).” He was trying to keep his cool, but he couldn’t. Keeping his cool was never one of his strong suits.

“JJ-”

“I’m not doing this anymore with you. You can-”

You cut him off. If he said one more angry word at you you wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“JJ, I know you hate me and I know I’m a bitch and I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. But, god, I can’t stop thinking about the way you held me that night after the boneyard and I think I need you to do it again.” Your voice shook as you finally whipped your head to look at him, wincing at the sharp pain that shot through your head from the sudden movement.

There was that hurt in his eyes, plain as day. His hair was disheveled and his eyes looked heavy and sad, dark circles hanging underneath them. He looked so beautiful.

JJ was wordless as he strode towards you, his arms out as he finally held you lightly in his arms.

“I need you to hold me tighter, Jayje, please.” “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“*Please.”

The blond responded by just holding you tighter against him, one hand around your waist and the other supporting the back of your head. You let out a choked sob at the feeling of him around you, this is all you ever wanted, all you ever needed. It was like air was finally rushing through your lungs.

“I’m sorry I was angry, I’m so sorry.”

You just shook your head, unable to speak words as you continued to cry, wordlessly telling him not to apologize, just pulling him impossibly closer.

JJ stumbled a little as you pulled him, “Okay, okay. Let’s sit down.” He said softly, leading you to the outside couch, careful not to loosen his grip on your frame. JJ sat down in the corner and pulled you with him, situating your body between his legs, your arms wrapped around his neck as your head fell to rest in the crook of his neck. JJ’s hand that wasn’t on your waist came to rest on your cheek, his thumb slowly stroking your cheekbone back and forth.

“I’m so scared.” Your voice squeaked through your sobs and hiccups and JJ’s heart shattered, scattering broken pieces at his feet.

“M’not gonna leave you. Promise.”

You didn’t respond as you held up your pinky, signalling for him to hook his around yours, and he did, leaving a sweet kiss on your fingers, then returning his hand to it’s spot on your cheek, holding onto you for dear life. He wanted to find Tyler and kill him himself, even if only for the way you were shaking in his arms, it scared him. He had never seen you this broken before, he didn’t think anybody had, not including Sarah or Kie, but even then the amount was few.

He didn’t want to shush you or tell you everything was okay, because it wasn’t, really. Your abusive step brother was nowhere to be found and he had nearly killed you. It wasn’t okay. So, he let you cry and he held you, letting out an involuntary whine every time your body would tremor and whispering sweet things in your ear, until eventually you fell asleep in his arms, your breathing finally normal.

John B came out the front door when he heard your crying stop, Pope trailing close behind him, and the two leaned on the railing across from JJ.

“I wanna kill him.” JJ said, not looking up from his gaze on you. “Look at her.”

JJ was holding back his own tears now, forcing out a couple coughs to try and cover up his cracking voice. “The way she just broke down, I- I’ve never seen her like this before, guys. She usually has something funny to say, a joke to pull even in the toughest situations but she’s so scared and sad. Fuck, I never want to see her like this again.”

John B and Pope were silent as JJ talked, just listening to their distraught friend.

“I’m not leaving her. Not ‘til that son of a bitch is dead or behind bars for the rest of his life.”

Pope nodded, “I think that’s smart, actually.”

The boys were interrupted when Sarah brought out your bag, holding it out to JJ.

“She needs to change her bandages, they look a mess.”

JJ grabbed the bag and placed it on the ground next him, then turned to you and gently shook you awake, stroking your hair and whispering softly.

“Hey, pretty girl, Gotta get up and change your bandages, okay? They’re all twisted.”

You nodded and stood up, immediately whimpering from losing the extra compression around your ribs and the pain in your head. JJ shot up, fawning over you, offering to carry you to the bathroom. You just shook your head and made your way inside, keeping your eyes on your feet so you wouldn’t make eye contact with Pope or John B.

You made it to the bathroom before JJ did, so you sat on the counter and waited, he must’ve been talking to the boys outside.

“You should’ve said something sooner, Sarah. This could’ve been avoided.” You heard Kie’s voice through the door.

“What? Do you know how mad she would be if I did? She’d never talk to me again.” “At least she’d be safe.” Kie spat.

“Look, I- I didn’t know that was gonna happen, okay-”

“Obviously.” Kie muttered.

“You don’t think I’ve been beating myself up about it all week?”

“You should be beating your-”

“Kie, lay off.” John B’s voice interrupted, followed by the slamming of a bedroom door, and silence.

You frowned at the conversation. This was no one’s fault, no one but Tyler. He’s the scum who did this to you, there was no one else to blame. Kie was angry and looking for someone to pin it on who wasn’t conveniently missing, but it wasn’t fair to Sarah.

JJ entered the room not a moment later, holding your bag with fresh compression wraps and bandages, a nervous smile plastered on his face.

“Let me see.” He said, setting down the bag on the counter next to you.

You had a hesitant look on your face, you knew he meant for you to take off your shirt, and you didn’t want to. After everything-

“I’m not gonna hurt you.” He whispered so softly you almost didn’t hear him. “I just wanna help you, okay? I need to see them so I can help you, baby.”

You nodded and he mirrored the action, slowly bringing his arms forward to pull your shirt over your head, leaving you in just a bra and shorts. JJ didn’t bat an eye at your chest, solely focused on your injuries. He stayed silent while he carefully unwrapped the compression from your ribcage, which was now twisted from your sleeping position. He sucked in through his teeth while he looked at your ribcage, horribly discolored and red from the wrap, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to your tiny heart tattoo, almost invisible from the bruising.

“Broken?” He asked.

You shrugged. You don’t pay attention when doctors talk, that was Christine’s job.

JJ didn’t acknowledge your answer, just continued his work. He pressed a kiss to each spot he unwrapped, telling you something about how it always made them heal faster.

“Kisses from a handsome man like myself make everything better.” He had said with a playful glint in his eye.

You wanted to smile and the sweetness and pureness of it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to.

JJ finished and crumpled up the old wraps and bandages before tossing them in the garbage and looking back at you. He looked at you for a moment before reaching his hand out and softly running his fingers over your red scratches. You couldn’t read his expression. You still didn’t know JJ well, having hated him the entire time you’ve known him up until just over a week ago, you were seeing him in a new light, and you couldn’t tell what he was making of all of this.

You told yourself he was probably over this, annoyed that he was having to deal with the beaten down girl in front of him instead of sticking himself into the gorgeous blonde he had wrapped around him at the Boneyard.

He thinks you're ugly and pathetic. Who the fuck scratches themselves?

“These look like they hurt, baby. You gotta stop doing this to yourself.” He said, bringing his blue eyes up to meet yours. “Not that easy.” You rasped back.

JJ sighed and nodded, he of all people knew how not easy it was to quit a coping mechanism. He always hated when Pope or Kiara would try to tell him to just “Stop drinking” or “Stop getting in fights”. It isn't easy when you feel like that’s the one thing that will help you.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said seriously, his eyes full of intensity as he looked at you, the girl he felt so strongly for that he mistook the feeling for hatred.

You scoffed.

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

JJ sighed and looked down before settling himself between your legs, his eyebrows knit together and eyes sharp on yours. “You know.”

“What kinda girl lets this happen to herself, JJ? It’s ugly, I look ugly.” Tears started to build up again and JJ didn’t know what to say.

“Baby, you didn’t let anything happen. This is not on you.”

You shook your head as more tears fell, “You don’t get it, I’m weak.”

JJ just shook his head, “No.”

“Stop disagreeing with me!” You yelled, trying to punch his chest but crying out from the pain in your hands. “I’m weak, I’m pathetic, I’m gross, I’m ugly! He did this to me! He made me this way and now he gets away with it! He gets away-”

You were inconsolable, your words were barely coherent as snot and tears ran down your face. You wanted JJ to agree, tell you you were weak and ugly, you needed to be right. It was comfortable to be right. “I’m right, JJ! Don’t fucking tell me I’m wrong! Why are you lying to me?!”

“Baby-”

“He did this to me! I’ll never feel clean again!”

If JJ’s heart wasn’t fully broken before, it was now. He felt utterly helpless for the first time in his life, completely not knowing what to do. He always had a next move. Even when his dad was beating the shit out of him, even when a kook had him pinned down, face in the sand and barely able to breathe. But now, looking at you, body broken and bruised and lips and eyes red and puffy from crying, choking on your own sobs, JJ felt fucking useless.

“(Y/n), please, breathe, angel.”

You stopped for a second and pushed your hair out of your face, looking at him confused.

“You can let it out, just remember to breathe, okay? You’re gonna panic and scratch yourself again.” His voice was so gentle as his hand lightly squeezed the back of your neck, his other hand softly caressing your thigh.

You just nodded slowly, expecting him to yell at you for your outburst or tell you you’re being childish, but you received the opposite. You began to take deep breaths for JJ, beginning to realize you’d do just about anything to get rid of the heart broken expression on his face.

He took deep breaths with you, placing your hands on his chest and covering them with his own so you could feel the rise and fall and the patter of his heart beat. He gave you a small smile when your breathing settled, and he let you fall into his chest, wrapping his arms around you. “Proud of you, pretty girl. Did so good.”

You whined and pulled away from him, you wanted to see his face, to see the way he was looking at you. JJ’s hands rested on your hips and he gave them a gentle squeeze as you stared at his ocean eyes.

“I wanna kiss you.” You whispered, your hands coming up to cradle the sides of his neck.

JJ shook his head, “Soon, I promise. Okay? But not now.” He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. He couldn’t kiss you while you were torn apart and terrified, he wanted to see the sparkle in your eyes, that striking grin on your cherry painted lips.

He doesn’t want to kiss you.

“Not like this. Not when you feel this way, okay?”

Oh.

You could’ve sworn your heart burst and melted all the way down to your toes. This was a new JJ. Even when he hated you he probably would’ve jumped at the opportunity to do anything with you, shutting up your loud mouth with his own. But now, it’s almost like he’s afraid to break you.

You nodded but stayed silent, finally letting your body rest against his. “I need to talk to the group.”

JJ nodded, helping you off of the counter. His heart squeezed when you intertwined your fingers with his, gently holding on so you wouldn’t hurt your hand further. His heart skipped a beat when you brought your free hand up to hold onto his forearm. You were gonna give him butterflies forever.

The two of you walked outside the bathroom and you saw your friends sitting and waiting for you, and you began to feel nauseous.

Once JJ got you out of the bathroom and onto the couch comfortably, you let go of his hand and he suddenly felt empty. You ran your hands up and down your thighs with anxiety before letting out a small whimper, feeling your body begin to surge with panic as you thought about what you had to tell your friends.

“You’re safe.” JJ whispered, his hands hovering over you like he wasn’t sure what you wanted from him. You looped your arm through his and he brought his hand over to gently rest on your knee, giving you a soft kiss on your temple.

“I wanted to tell you guys this as soon as I knew, but I had to tell you in person and when I got here the emotions were just too much and-”

JJ pulled your hand down from your neck, softly shushing you to stop you from rambling. You hadn’t even realized you were scratching. You took a deep breath and looked at JJ again, waiting for his quick nod before you took the deepest breath of your life and said the words you had been dreading to say all week.

“Tyler killed my mom and sister.”

+

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[plsimsuchasimp]

gone (cheating ft. kenma)

an anon asked me to write another version of this post, so here it is. i’m sorry about this, it’s definitely not my best work.

request: “Can you do another cheating fic but with kenma since he is my favorite character”

genre: angst

ft: kenma kozume x gn reader, a little bit of kuroo tetsuro

wc: 1.8k

warnings: fainting, angst, implied cheating

Flopping down on your bed, you picked up your phone and shot off a quick text message to your boyfriend, Kenma.

“hey babe, can we call? it’s been a really long week and I haven’t seen you in forever,” you wrote, pressing the send button with only a moment’s hesitation. 

Sighing, you scrolled upwards a bit, reading through the message history. Recently, his texts had been getting shorter and more abrupt, often making excuses when you asked to see him or talk to him.

1 new message. Distracted, you scrolled down to see Kenma’s text. 

“sorry can’t i was just about to sleep”

Frowning, you glanced at the top of the screen. 10:53 pm. He never went to bed this early, let alone slept. Your throat constricted, but you tried to brush it off, the thoughts whispering at the back of your head like malicious pixies, insecurities and harsh words. You stared at the simple string of words, wondering what to say. Are you okay? you’ve seemed off recently. No, you were probably just overthinking it.

“okay, have a good night! ily” Read 10:57 pm. No response.

Putting the phone down, you tried to push it to the back of your thoughts, but it nagged at you. Turning on your PC, you logged onto discord and noticed Kenma’s status. He was playing a multiplayer game, in a VC with one other person. Right-clicking, you ignored the feeling of distrust and clicked on the other player’s profile. 

You knew her- she was a friend of Kenma’s from school. Kenma had promised you they were just friends, that you had nothing to worry about, but the insecurities crept in again as you realized he’d been spending a lot more time with her instead of you. Biting your lip, you looked back at your phone, the accusing text glaring at you. It seemed innocuous, seemed like you were overreacting. Kenma didn’t really get why you were insecure- he always told you he only had eyes for you, but lately, it didn’t really feel like it.

The last time you two had hung out, he’d laughed at something on his phone, then turned away when you asked to see what it was, muttering something vague about a funny tiktok. You didn’t think much of it at the time, but with thoughts crowding your head, you wondered if it really had been just a video. Kozume had always been distant- you understood that when you started dating him, but was it too much to ask for a scrap of his attention? 

You were torn. On one hand, you wanted to trust Kenma, believe that everything he told you was true and he still loved you like he used to. On the other, your gut was telling you there was something off. Praying that he wasn’t hiding anything, you entered a different browser and logged into his Discord account. You’d given each other the passwords to your socials a while ago, your way of showing that you had nothing to hide.

Incorrect login information. The words appeared in red on the screen, the password field outlined in red. You tried again, ensuring that there were no typos, and it still registered as wrong. Your stomach sank, staring at the message on the screen. He changed his password and didn’t tell you. At this point, you knew something was wrong, but you didn’t want to ask him in fear of seeming insecure or clingy, both traits Kenma disliked. Before you could lose yourself further in the swirling tornado of your thoughts, your phone dinged with a new message. It was from Kuroo.

“hey y/n, are you up? we need to talk.”

Brow furrowing, you responded with “yeah, is everything okay?” He read the text, and then the call icon rang at the top of the screen, red and green buttons buzzing gently. You accepted the call, answering with “Hi Kuroo.”

“Hey y/n,” he said, his voice quieter than normal. 

“Are you okay?” He sounded off, sad somehow.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. There’s something I need to tell you, though.” You paused for a second, hoping it wasn’t what you thought it was, before he continued. “Kenma- Kenma cheated on you.”

“W-what?” Time seemed to stop. you couldn’t, didn’t want to believe your ears. Your breath caught in your throat, shock freezing your body in place.

“Shit, y/n, I’m so sorry. I just found out.” Kuroo was still talking, but you weren’t hearing him. It seemed impossible, even though you’d seen it coming. “Y/n? Are you okay?” 

Startled, you choked out, “Yeah, I’m okay, just a little shocked.” a little was an understatement. “H-how did you find out?”

“Well,” he sighed, “I saw him kiss her behind the cafe yesterday. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was still figuring out what to do.” Guilt laced his words, and you got the feeling there was still something he hadn’t said.

“What else?” From his slight intake of breath, you could tell you’d caught him off guard. He was silent for a moment.

“He’s been texting her on Discord for the past month or so. I think you know her, (f/n)?” You felt your heart crash into your stomach, and your worst fears were confirmed. Switching back onto your computer, you saw that Kenma was still playing the game with the girl, and your stomach clenched. 

“Yeah, I know her.” He noticed that your voice was quiet, subdued, and he swallowed.

“Y/n, I’m- I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.” He was silent then, waiting for you to speak.

“No, no, it’s fine,” You said, your voice oddly calm. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course. Hey, are you going to be okay?” He asked, unsure what was really happening inside your head.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” Before he had a chance to say anything else, you hung up, mind spinning.

Oddly enough, you didn’t feel anything. You knew in the back of your head that this was your way of coping, that the hurt and anger and sadness would come later, but for now you didn’t care. Methodically, you went to all of your socials and blocked Kenma, hesitating only slightly to block his number in your phone.

You shut off your computer and turned your phone to silent, sitting in silence on your bed. Slowly, your eyes filled with tears that spilled down your cheeks, expressionless besides the gleaming tear streaks staining your face. Your shoulders shook, and everything seemed to crash down at once. 

Your body couldn’t keep up, the sobs overtaking you until you were lightheaded. The room was spinning and the shining moonlight was glinting through the blinds at odd angles, seeming to distort your vision. You couldn’t breathe, and then everything faded to black.

You woke up a few seconds later with your head on the pillow, dazed and hearing the blood pound through your head. You groaned and lay there for a couple of minutes, letting your breathing slow. 

You got up and brushed your teeth, staring at your puffy eyes in the mirror. It hurt, to know the man you loved didn’t feel the same anymore. What did you do wrong? Were you too clingy, not good enough, not there for him enough? Why would he cheat on you? 

Guilt vibrated around you, and it brought back the memories of every other time. It must have been your fault- it always was. 

Sleep took you uneasily that night, creeping in around your obsessive, painful thoughts and lulling you to distraction.

The next morning at school, you wiped the pain from your face and moved through the day in a haze. You saw Kenma in the hallway, leaning against the lockers on his phone, and avoided eye contact. When you saw her, (f/n), anger and hurt swelled up in your stomach, and you tried to swallow it and avoid lashing out. 

Later, Kenma stared at his phone as an error message popped up when he tried to text you. We’re sorry, the number you’re trying to reach is unavailable. A pit formed in his stomach, and he went to his other socials, reaching the same conclusions in other places. 

“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, amber eyes scanning the hallway. You were already gone, though, and he moved through the swarm of people, eyes focused on the exit. Where would you have gone? 

When he showed up at your house that afternoon, you were surprised. He doesn’t waste time, showing you his phone and bluntly asking “Why did you block me?” Your eyes widened to see him slouching there, clearly uncomfortable with going out of his way to do this. “Are you angry at me?”

“Kozume, I don’t really want to talk to you right now.” His face twisted at your use of his last name.

“Why not?” 

At this point, you sighed, tired of everything. “You cheated on me. That’s why.” Your voice cracks in the last sentence, and the world stops.

His stomach drops as you turn away, the weight of the world on your shoulders. “N-no. Y/n. Please don’t go!” 

Kenma’s not good with words, and you understand that. Sometimes, though, it feels like he’s not trying. As he shook his head frantically, chin-length hair swaying around his beautiful face, you could tell he wanted to say something, but he can’t.

“What is there to say, Kozume?” Your eyes were brimming with tears, your heart squeezing at the sight of him.

“I didn’t- I didn’t mean to.” Even he knows how weak this sounds, how pathetic of him, and when he looks back up at you, his eyes are shiny. “I love you.”

His words ring hollow, and you scoff. “Where was that love when you kissed her behind the cafe? Where was it when you were constantly texting her on discord? Where was it when I needed you and you weren’t there?” You shake your head, heartbreak written all over your features. It’s then that he remembers the declined calls, the unanswered texts, the neglect he subjected you to as he pushed you away.

“I hope you’re happy with her, because we’re done.”

He didn’t even have a good reason this time. All he knew was that he wanted you to stay, but he knew he didn’t deserve a second chance. Against his will, a tear slid down his cheek and dropped to the floor, making him sniffle. 

There was nothing you wanted more than to pull him into your arms, cry into his shoulder, but you couldn’t. It hurt too much. You stepped back and slammed the door on him for the final time.

Leaning your head against the door, all of your emotions spilled out. You were silently crying, the ache in your chest almost too much to bear. You thought you heard your name outside the door, whispered just loud enough for you to hear, but you just sank down to the floor and let the tears fall.

On the other side of the door, Kenma’s phone buzzed. It was a text from her, and the disgust and anger that filled his stomach at the sight was enough for him to know he’d never forgive himself for hurting you like this.

“I love you.”

a/n: srry for the anticlimatic ending i was just feeling super bad and not in the mood to write but i wanted to get this out here, hope you like it.

[emmies-archives]

Heads and Tails

Genre: Fluff, Angst, College AU

Warnings: Aged up, smut, drinking, blowjobs, good old fashion drunk hookup, self degrading at one point, ahhh non descriptive smut....

Wordcount: 6.8k (my bad)

Summary: You slowly become best friends with Noya. One night you get drunk with him and Tanaka and it leads to drunk confessions. You two start dating afterward, you try to surprise him one day by at practice but his old feelings for Kiyoko bring out your insecurities when you see him talking to her. 

A/N: This took wayyy to long to write, and it’s a lot longer than I expected. First piece for Haikyuu and I was drinking wine while writing most of it so please forgive typos. The ending is ehh because I just wanted to get it finished. 

Inspired by a rp with @astrid-thirsts (....... Its not as much angst as I said)

You couldn’t remember the last time you were excited for a volleyball game. They weren’t something new you went to. You had always watched Karasuno’s boys team play, ever since you were little. Fond memories filled your thoughts whenever you thought about going to the matches. For a while though, there was something missing. The excited cheers from fans started to dwindle and you found less and less seats being filled. There were no longer group hugs when the team won. Replaced with hung heads and silent tears. But you kept going. Even as the boy’s losses stacked against them so high it cast a shadow big enough to drown them. Things started to change this year.

Rumors floated around the school pretty quickly. Apparently, there were knew recruits on the team and they had pretty good potential. It piqued your interest. If there was a chance that the team could start building back the foundation it once had, you wanted to be there to see it.

You decided to take the long way back to your dorm one day. It gave you a chance to walk by the gym where volleyball practice was held. You walked for a while, a tinge of excitement pooling in your stomach at the thought of maybe getting to see the team up close. For years you had watched them from high up in the bleachers. The only constant as the members came and went.

As the gym came into view, you slowed your pace. A part of you wanted to peek through the doors. With a sudden burst of courage, you went up to the doors. The few steps seemed like forever. Reaching a hand out to push one side open, your heart jumped when it slide open right when you touched it. The first thing you saw was a pair of bright brown eyes. The boy tilted his head a bit and you noticed a towel wrapped around his neck.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?”

That was one of the first times you had actually spoken to him, you weren’t even sure if he had known your name before. You weren’t a stranger to Nishinoya. He was in a few of your classes; you had just never really talked to him all that much. You didn’t know if it was the fact he was on the volleyball team, or that you had a huge crush on him but, it even thinking of talking to him made you nervous. I wasn’t like you didn’t want to talk to him, he was just overwhelming. Constantly full of energy, lighting up whatever room he walked into. The idea of just walking up to him and striking a conversation was intimidating. So, when one day you got paired together for a project you didn’t know if you were excited or scared.

It was easy to talk to him. A lot easier than you expected. Something about him always drew you in, even if he was going on and on about the volleyball team for the fifteenth time in the hour. The playful energy that exuded from him held a welcoming arm out to you. Like it was offering everything you’d ever wanted, even if he didn’t realize it. But you took it. Grabbed its hand and ran.

Its grasp eventually led to more nights spent with him, even after the work necessary for the project was finished. It sort of became the new norm for you. After his evening practice, you would either go to his dorm or he’d come to yours. The conversations came easier, shifting from class and volleyball to shared hobbies. You learned more about him than you ever thought you would. Every time you left his dorm, your head swarmed with the memories of the night. The entire walk home felt like you were floating, and you kind of felt ridiculous for it. The way your heartbeat sped up when he was close, or how your eyes lingered on him when he wasn’t looking shouldn’t happen. Especially because you weren’t sure if you’d ever get the courage to tell him your feelings. Little did you know, Nishinoya felt the same way.

He started to rush through the end of practice just so he could see you after. Just spending time with you was the best part of his day. He didn’t realize what his feelings were, just that he was happy when he was with you. It wasn’t until he brought you up to Tanaka at practice for the fifth day in a row did he slowly start to think different about you. Tanaka didn’t help either, teasing him about if that’s the reason he left practice early. If you knew about that, Nishinoya was sure you’d chew him out.

Your love for volleyball was only one of the things that drew him in. It was the way you always found the good in something, even if it felt like the world was ending at the time. One time he came texted you about a test in one of his classes, his grade ended up being a lot lower than expected and he was a little annoyed. You just offered to help him study for the next one, wanting to make him feel better. To him it felt like the entire weight was lifted off his shoulders just with that one response. There were other things too, of course. You were incredibly beautiful, catching his eye before you even became friends.

Months went by and the two of you fell in routine. He would meet you halfway between his dorm and yours before classes, walking you to yours which barely left him any time to make it to his. You told him you were fine when he mentioned it to you on accident one morning, but each day he stood under the same lamppost waiting for you. Slowly, without meaning to, you fell in love with him. But it didn’t feel like falling. It was more like stepping into a warm embrace.

 “Yuu?” Your voice was quiet as you called his name for the second time in the past few minutes. Slightly amused you nudged him with your foot under the table, trying to get his attention. “Nishinoya?!”

“Oh, sorry!” He set his phone on the table, a goofy grin on his face when he looked up at you. “Did you need something?”

“I was helping you with your Algebra homework. Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“You’re going to be pretty disappointed then, because I haven’t done a problem in at least a half hour.” You couldn’t even be mad at him; all you could do was shake your head. He promised he’d work on his homework for the next hour. He lasted maybe ten minutes before groaning and pushing the paper away from him. “This is too boring. It’s a Friday, we should go out and have some fun!”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Wanna get drunk?”

 Three hours later, after an embarrassing little bit of Nishinoya watching you get ready as he laid on your bed, you ended up in Tanaka’s dorm room. Drink in hand you sat in his desk chair as Nishinoya and him sit on the ground in front of you.

This wasn’t what you thought when he mentioned getting drunk, but it was fun, nonetheless. You preferred this. Nishinoya was a popular guy so you figured he’d bring you to one of the clubs near campus, but this felt different. Maybe even special. Just you two and his best friend. Something about it was heartwarming. Until Tanaka brought up their manager again. It had been so many times the night already that you were tired of hearing about it.

“I’m telling you, y/n. It is better when she ignores me!” Tanaka yelled emphasizing his words by throwing his arm out, causing his drink to slosh over the edge of the cup.

“Really? I would’ve thought that being ignored would hurt.” You say, trying not to glance at Nishinoya when you do. Your feelings completely opposite your words.

“No, no it doesn’t. I don’t know how to explain it. Noya! You try for me; I can’t think straight.”

“Ahh, I don’t know man.” You didn’t notice the slight discomfort lining Nishinoya’s words or the way he looked to you as he responded. Already on your fifth drink of the night, you started to feel your head swim past tipsy. You caught his glance smiling into your cup as you drank more of whatever concoction he had made you.

“How’s your drink, y/n?” Nishinoya asked standing to make himself another one.

“Really good actually!” Your voice was louder than you anticipated, making you cringe slightly. “How are you so good at making drinks?”

“I learned my secret from those old Italian grandmas on youtube. I just don’t measure anything, letting my heart decide what to put in it.” All you could do was stare at him as he demonstrated. Tossing random things into his cup, trying not to make a disgusted face at the amount of alcohol you watched him pour.

“Did you… put that much into all my other drinks?” His toothy grin was enough of an answer and you stared into your cup. You hadn’t even tasted the liquor.

 Several rounds and a few shots later, it was your turn again. You had brought up the idea to play truth or drink. It was a game you had always played with your girl friends back home, so you decided why not. The amount of alcohol in your system didn’t help either.

“So, y/n.” Tanaka started, you could already see the evil look in his eyes. “Out of everyone on the volleyball team, which one of use would you want to hook up with?”

The question should’ve startled you, it probably would’ve if you hadn’t had the boost of vodka running through your veins and the newfound courage that came with it. Your answer came with no hesitation, you even looked into his eyes as you said it.

“Noya.” Your eyes flicked from his wide eyes to the growing smile on his lips. Not at all aware to the blush that flooded his cheeks.

 “Oh, dayum. I thought for sure you’d drink to that one.” Tanaka said but you didn’t really pay attention to his words. Your eyes focused on Nishinoya, feeling like if you ripped them from him. You’d never be able to look him in the eyes again.

“You’re turn, y/n.” Nishinoya’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper. Not able to tear his eyes away from yours.

Caught up in the moment, you direct your question towards him. “Yu-“

Your words are cut off as Tanaka lets out a loud groan, drawing your attention to him.

“Grossss, you guys can take that shit elsewhere. I’m gonna text Kiyoko again.”

 That’s how you found yourself sitting on one of the campus’s benches, your side nearly pressed against Nishinoya.

“Y/n, you look so beautiful under the light from the lamppost.” In your drunken state, you found his normally constant flirting cute. Your cheeks burn lightly from the deep blush resting on them. The two of you sit in silence after that. Neither of your quite ready to go back to your dorms.

“You know, I never got to ask you my question.” You say as you lean your head against his shoulder.

“You’re right, I forgot.” His response was short, but you could hear the hopeful tone swimming in it. “You can ask me now if you still want to.”

“Yuu, will you kiss me?”

“I don’t think that would’ve worked as a question, y/n.” He answered.

“God, just shut up and kiss me.” You quipped back, moving to face him. He didn’t even respond. Cupping your cheek, you both leaned in, you were too impatient to wait for him. The kiss was soft and sweet, ending too soon. You wanted more.

 Ten minutes later after dragging him to your dorm you pushed the door open. Thankful you didn’t share it with anyone as you pulled him into the room. You gently pushed him to sit on the bed, sitting on his lap arms wrapped around his neck loosely.

“I wasn’t kidding. He spoke. “You really do look amazing tonight.”

You hummed in response, not trusting your voice. Staring into his warm brown eyes, the fairy lights that light up your room danced in the reflection of them.

“You’re so handsome, Yuu.” Your voice is quiet and uneven as you talk. “You always are, I know I’ve never told you that before.”

“You’re drunk, y/n.” His voice matched yours as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“It’s your fault, dummy.” You shook your head, laughing at the amount of alcohol he probably put into your drinks, not realizing how fast you would drink them. “I meant what I said you know.”

“Really? I thought that was just for the game, you wouldn’t prefer someone else?” You could see the hope swirling in his eyes.

“Absolutely not. I don’t like anyone else.” You answered while your hands gingerly played with the ends of his hair.

“You like me?” His eyes widened at your statement and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“You didn’t realize?” You asked and he shook his head as his answer. “I thought I made it a little obvious, but yes I do.”

Your voice was nearly a whisper as you leaned in close to him. Breath ghosting over his lips, you could feel him shiver a bit and it put a smile on your face. He didn’t have to respond with words to make you know he felt the same way. Your lips connected again, this time different than before. Rough and passionate. Like he was pouring everything he was holding in into your lips. You did the same, every pent-up emotion you felt for him, every lingering gaze you spent trying to make yourself confess, every single thing.

The kiss became rougher, teeth clashing and noses bumping as you pulled closer to him. Unknowingly grinding your hips down into him at the way his tongue slipped into your mouth. A soft whimper slipping from your lips.

“Yuu..” You breathed out when he pulled away, panting himself.

“Fuck, y/n. Your lips are so soft.” He leaned in again, pulling you into another kiss. You could taste the lingering vodka on his tongue as it danced with yours. Both of you fighting for dominance. He groaned as you pushed your fingers into his hair, tugging gently at it. He jerked his hips up and you could feel him against your core. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. You’re just….”

“No, it’s okay.” You said, smiling as you slipped off his lap. Hands sliding down his torso, stopping at his waistband. The tent in his pants already obvious. You looked back up to him, waiting for him to give you some sort of confirmation you could keep going.

He grabbed your hands gently, leaning in to press another short kiss against your lips. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to. Just, let me take care of you.” Confidence flooded your voice in your drunken stupor. He could only nod at your words and you moved your hands lower, palming his hardness through his pants. Enjoying the quiet groans that fall from his lips at the sudden friction. You tug on his waistband and he shifts his hips up, helping you pull his pants down. You move up pressing your lips against his again as you slip your hand into his boxers. Feeling him hiss lightly against your lips at your hand against him.

“Ah, shit-“ You could barely hear his groans as you focused wrapping your hand around his cock, loosely stroking it.

“You’re already so hard, Yuu. Did my answer affect you that much?” He bit his lip nodding again at your words as you worked your hand. A smile tugged at your lips.

You moved down further, placing soft kisses against his abs. Feeling him shudder as you trailed down, stopping at his boxers before pulling them down all the way. His member springing free, slapping against his stomach

“You’re so pretty.” You ran your tongue up the underside of his cock lightly, admiring the way it twitched lightly in your hold before swirling your tongue around the tip as you pumped the rest of his length. Hearing his quiet groans pushed you forward, and you looked up to him, meeting his gaze and you slowly brought more of him into your mouth. Watching as his head fell back through your blurry vision.

“I should be the one saying that, y/n.” He said, his voice unsteady.

You pulled back with a pop, smirking up at him. “Don’t hold back, let me hear you.”

You wait for him to respond before dipping your head back down, taking him into your mouth again. A loud moan fell from his lips as you did, and you had to press your hands into his thighs to keep him from bucking up into your mouth. Once he stilled himself, you started wrapping your fingers around what you couldn’t fit into your mouth. Swiping your tongue over the slit that leaked precum already.

You could feel his thighs twitching under you as you worked your mouth on him. Breathing through your nose and relaxing your throat you pushed your face down until your nose brush against his pelvis. The loud moan that ripped from his throat made you hum approvingly, and you moved your hand to play with his balls. When you pulled away just enough to breathe, he moved his hand to your jaw pulling you up to him.

“Want to cum with you.” Was the only thing he said before pushing up your shirt, helping you take it off. Biting his lip to concentrate on the clasp of your bra that for some reason he just couldn’t figure out. You grabbed his hands gently stopping him before unhooking it yourself throwing it across the room. His heated gaze fell to your chest as he wasted no time in touching you. Squeezing, sucking, nipping. Every time his tongue danced around your sensitive nipples he grew more confident at the soft breathy moans you let out.

He backed up onto the bed, pulling you with him before crawling over you catching your already swollen lips in another rough kiss. You couldn’t stop the whimper the fell from your lips when he ground down into your core. It put a cocky smile on his face, something you weren’t used too.

“Noya, please.”

“What do you want me to do, baby?” His voice was low, and his words were muffled as he kissed down your neck. It was becoming too much, you wanted him. Needed him.

“Fuck me! Pleas-“

You didn’t get to finish your sentence as he pushed your legs open. Swiping the tip up and down your folds a few times before slowly pushing in. Your mouth fell open at the sudden fullness. He didn’t stop until he was bottomed out inside you. You looked up at him once started moving his hips, trying to paint the look on his face into your memory. His eyes blown out in lust as he fucked into you, the way he gritted his teeth trying to quiet the loud moans. It was the last clear image before the night completely blurred.

 The next morning you tried recalling the events that occurred, and it only came in slivers. Like an old movie with holes burnt into the film. The pieces that you could interpret left you with memories of giving yourself to Nishinoya, and him to you. Maybe it was a good thing you couldn’t remember clearly. The way your head ached would’ve only been amplified by the weight of what you did last night. You tried not to think it was a mistake, but it was hard not to. Everyone has a drunken hook up once in a while. You’ve had your share, so why would this one be so different?

It was only when Nishinoya shifted beside you were you pulled from your intruding thoughts. You felt your body tense as he slid his arm over your side and bury his face into your shoulder. He mumbled something incoherent. There was a small voice in your head hoping he was still asleep. But it was nothing compared to the way you felt your heart speed up at the simple action. You closed your eyes telling yourself it was to stop your head from hurting, but you really just wanted to stay in this moment as long as you can. The soft, quiet calm before the shit storm you felt was coming. But, he proved you wrong.

Whispering your name softly as if not to wake you. You found yourself unable to answer him. Waiting to see what would happen, what your reaction to this should be. No matter how badly you wanted to be happy that this happened, you would take whatever came. You didn’t expect him to hum softly and feel his soft lips against your bare shoulder as he gently kissed it. Tangling his legs with yours, you felt him gently rubbing your arm. You couldn’t handle it anymore. His sweetness was too much, and you needed to look at him. Shifting in his hold you turned to face him. A small smile pulled at his lips when you did.

“Morning, y/n.” His voice was a bit raspy, and you found your heart speeding up again at the sight of his tussled hair. The memory of tangling your hands in it flashing across your mind and you couldn’t help the blush. “You okay?”

“Mhm. You’re just really hot.” The words spilled from your lips before you could stop them, and you groaned a little. “Fuck, ignore that. I’m still asleep.”

Nishinoya “When did we fall asleep?” Your voice was quiet, trying to ignore the way his eyes were lighting up at your touch.

laughed at your plea and shook his head, which made you reach up to push the hair that fell in his eyes.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. Was it we fucked for the sec-“

“Yuu!” Your hand covered his mouth, eyes wide at the way he could casually say it. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to talk about it. Just that you didn’t know where to even start. There were so many things you wanted to talk or ask him about now that you were sober. You just weren’t sure if you had the courage anymore. You dropped your hand and shifted your gaze from him, a little nervous.

“Something wrong? Oh no. You regret last night. I’m so sorry, I knew I should’ve waited to make a move when we were sober. I-“ His face pulled into a panicked stare and he started rambling before you cut him off again.

“No, Yuu. I don’t regret it at all. Not one bit.” You sighed looking back to him, trying to reassure his worry. “You were… really good. I just didn’t know how to talk about it.”

“Oh thank god. I was scared I fucked up.” He relaxed a bit, slipping his hand into yours. It warmed your heart how sweet he was being. “I don’t want to ruin this… whatever this is.”

“Do you remember what I said last night?” You asked meekly, hoping he did so you wouldn’t have to repeat it.

“Which part? You said a lot, most of it sounded like my name actually now that I think.” He laughed when you shoved his arm a little, glaring at him. “I know what you said. About liking me, and I feel the same way for you.”

“Then, what is this?” Your heart was pounding in your chest as you asked, and you hoped he couldn’t hear it. The next part you forced out, not wanting to hear the answer. Fearing it would be something that would hurt. “Is this just a one time thing?”

Nishinoya stared at your for a few seconds, completely silent. It felt like forever and the nervousness that pooled in your stomach started creeping up your body. The worst responses flashed through your head.

“No, I don’t want this to be a one time thing. Or anything casual either.” His voice was steady, and serious. You could tell he meant everything he said. “Do you want to go out with me?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Nishi. I want to go out with you.”

“Fuck yeah! Does this mean I can take you out on a date? I’ve been wanting to for a really long time just never thought I could.” He rambled a little and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“A date sounds perfect. If its anywhere other than our dorms, we spend too much time in them.”

“Yes!! I’ve been wanting to for so long, I just never thought you liked me back!” His arm slid around your side again and your felt the urge to bury your face into his chest. He squeezed you tighter when you did. “Can I tell Tanaka? I feel like we owe this to him!”

“Sure. But don’t mention what we did?”

“I cant promise you that.”

 You two spent most of the morning and afternoon laying in your bed. There was something about him that made you let your guard down. You could talk to him for hours about random stuff and never get bored. It was a lot nicer in his arms too. You always imagined the way it would feel to be wrapped in his arms. Even when you thought you’d never tell him how you felt. It was nice to imagine though, but it was nothing compared to now.

His usual rough wildness on the court was replaced with a softness you didn’t know his arms had. They were always covered in scratches and bruises from practice. You found yourself tracing the dark marks on his biceps, admiring the contrast against his skin. He had a story for each one. Telling it to you as your finger ran over it, and you could picture each one. You’ve seen him on the court before, he was a fury to reckon with but you didn’t realize how aware he was.

The lazy cuddling only ended when both of your stomachs growled for the third time in thirty minutes. He reached over to your nightstand for his phone, asking if you wanted him to order food in. You were thankful for that, the headache from the lingering hangover still pulsated at the back of your neck.

When the food came, you put on a movie and the two of you ate in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence. You knew there were things you could talk about if you really wanted to, but you found no need to. There was something about just sitting with Nishinoya that made a sort of warm feeling hold in your chest. It was relaxing, and almost familiar.

 The next two weeks flew by. Your old routine with Nishinoya quickly turning into a new one. Instead of him asking you to study as an excuse to see you, he was already at your dorm when you got back from your last class. Each time you entered your dorm and found him sitting on your bed waiting for you made your heart soar.

What you felt for him before anything happened only amplified now. Lingering gazes turned into lustful ones, soft brushes became loving embraces. It was amazing. Everything you had dreamed of and more. It wasn’t until you came by one of his practices early to surprise him did the doubt slip into your thoughts.

You pushed open the gym door entering quietly, not wanting to interrupt anything. Your eyes scanned the gym looking for him and once you did, your excitement dropped a little. Him and Tanaka were standing next to their manager, the one Tanaka always went on and on about. It looked completely innocent, they were just talking. But you didn’t miss the way Nishinoya laughed or the bright look on his face as she said something.

You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you didn’t even have to. He looked so excited, the way his face was flushed as he swayed on his feet. It was a simple action, they were only talking so why did it have to feel like this?

He had told you about his crush on her before, but explained it was long gone. That it had been nothing but a simple unrequited crush. But it stung seeing him so happy talking to her. Confliction twisted in your stomach. You didn’t want to be the type of girlfriend to get jealous over other girls, but this somehow felt different.

You went up to the first person next to you and quietly asked them to give the bento box in your hands to Nishinoya. It was their captain. You were a little familiar with him from watching all of their games, you just never talked to him before.

“Don’t tell him I came in. Just if you could say I dropped it off?” Your voice was unsteady and you could feel your hands shaking a little.

“Sure thing. Are you, y/n?” You could only nod as your eyes flicked back to Nishinoya still standing by their manager. “So you’re Noya’s girlfriend! I was wondering when we were going to meet you. I was beginning to think you didn’t exist, but he talks about you so much.”

“Yeah, I am. I didn’t realize he talked about me that much. I’m surprised you’re not sick of it.” You laughed nervously a little, trying not to look at them.

“No, he means no harm. He obviously really cares about you, I’m glad he has someone like you. From what I’ve heard, you seem like an amazing person.”

That hurt. You don’t know why it did, but it pulled at your chest heavily. You tried so badly to fight against the way seeing him over there picked at your brain but it didn’t work. Tanaka’s signature laugh echoed in the gym and your eyes moved to them again. Their manager was gone now, but you saw the way Nishinoya looked after her.

You could feel tears start welling in your eyes and you quickly excused yourself. Moving back toward the doors hoping to whatever gods were out there that Nishinoya didn’t see you leave. But, he did. Just as you slipped out of the door he saw you. You caught his gaze when you looked back one last time and it almost felt like the wind was knocked out of your chest.

Fighting everything inside you screaming to turn around and go to him, you ran the other way. You didn’t know what to even say if you were to go up to him.

“Y/n! Wait up!” Nishinoya yelled behind you and you gritted your teeth. Of course, he’d follow you, that’s just who he was. You slowed your pace knowing he’d catch up any moment. Facing away from him you felt his arms slip around your waist as he hugged you from behind. “Hey, sweetheart. I wasn’t expecting you here.”

You couldn’t say anything. It was like your voice was stuck in your throat even though you desperately wanted to speak. Eyes fixed on something in the distance you tried to wipe the upset expression from your face. Wanting nothing more than to turn and bury your face into him, you felt the frustration building in you.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

The concern in his voice hurt. More than anything else so far. You were being stupid, there was no reason to worry. You knew that so why did you feel so shitty? When you didn’t respond he moved around to face you. The panic was evident on his face when he saw how upset you were.

“Baby, what happened?” His voice was soft, welcoming. You flicked your gaze to his eyes and felt a pang of guilt in your when you saw the worry flooding them. You couldn’t help but look away again.

“Nothing. I just forgot something.” Your voice was quiet, much quieter than you thought it’d be. It wasn’t very convincing, and you knew it.

“You don’t have to lie to me. Did something happen today? Is that why you came to practice?” You had to clench your jaw at his caring words. His hands cupped your face gently and you felt your lip quiver at the touch. Without meaning to, you leaned into his touch. Closing your eyes which made a tear slip from your welling eyes. “Baby, talk to me.”

You shook your head trying to shake his worry. “It’s stupid.”

You knew that wouldn’t work, but you tried. The feeling in your chest, frustration over yourself and the lingering hurt from seeing him in there became too much and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. Pushing his hands from your face and burying yourself into his arms. The warmth of them didn’t do much to soothe you this time. It almost had the opposite effect. When he hugged you tightly a sob was ripped from your throat.

Crying was something you never wanted to do in front of him. You knew it would just make him worry, and yet here you were wrapped in his arms as your tears stained his shirt. Guilt tore at you again at that thought. He was supposed to be at practice. This was completely your fault. You shouldn’t have even come here to begin with.

Maybe this was meant to happen. The universes way of showing you that you weren’t meant to be together. You could go back to your old ways, watching silently from the stands while she was down there with him. That thought tore through you hard.

Kiyoko was mesmerizing, there was a softness in everything she did. She was so much better than you in every way. What were you even compared to her? You kept replaying the way he looked at her in your head. He looked so happy. Did he ever look that happy with you? You began questioning everything your thought you had known about your relationship.

“Y/n!” Nishinoya’s voice ripped through your intrusive thoughts and you couldn’t help but gasp. You hadn’t even noticed when you knelt on the ground, completely focused inside your own head.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Yuu. Go back to practice. I know I’m being annoying. I-I’ll go to my dorm, its okay.”

“What? No way, I’m not letting you leave.” He shook his head brows furrowing at your statements and apologies. “Let me help you…”

The way his eyes softened as you looked into them made a fresh wave of tears slip down your face. You found yourself spilling everything you were holding in with them. All your worries and fears, the reason you were crying. The way you felt you weren’t good enough for him.

“I saw you and your manager; I can’t help but think I’m not enough for you.” He didn’t say anything to interrupt your tear-filled rambling. “ You’re so amazing, and kind. You’re the best person I’ve ever met and I just…. Maybe you should be with Kiyoko. She’s so much better than me-“

“Stop.” He suddenly spoke out, “Stop it right now. You don’t get to say that about yourself.”

“But I-“

“No! I can’t believe you would even think like that.” His voice was raised a little causing you to snap your attention to his face. He looked so angry. The concern from before gone from his features. You couldn’t take your eyes off of his.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I just, I don’t think I make you as happy as you should be.”

“Stop apologizing, y/n. This is not your fault its mine.” That made you a little confused despite how upset you still were. This wasn’t his fault; he didn’t do anything.

“It’s not your faul-“

“It is though! I know I’m not that good at showing how I feel. That’s why I waited so long to do anything.” He shook his head as he talked, and you couldn’t pick apart the look in his eyes. “Should I have not asked you out? Would this have been better as a one-time thing?”

“What? No, Yuu. Don’t say that.” You felt your voice shake when you responded, it was so quiet you weren’t even sure if he heard you.

“I knew I’d hurt you. Do something to fuck this up. I couldn’t even keep this one perfect thing, could I? God I’m so stupid! This would’ve been so much easier if I wasn’t in love with you. Maybe we shouldn’t even have started dating, I’ve only been an ass to you.” His voice got louder as he berated himself. You knew he had a bit of a temper, but you never thought it would be toward himself.

“Yuu, stop.” He didn’t hear you as he continued beating himself up, “Yuu!”

You shoved his chest lightly to get his attention, panic coursing through your body. His eyes flashed to yours and the tears that spilled from them matched your stained cheeks.

“I’m sorry.. Fuck, I’m so sorry!” He scrambles toward you, diving into your embrace. You’ve never seen him angry like that and it scared you. He could tell, the look on your face when you pushed him made his heart drop. He pulled you to him again, this time he was crying. You felt the tears against your neck as he shoved his face into your shoulder. “Baby, I didn’t mean any of that. I promise. Please, please forget it. I’m not leaving you. Just don’t- don’t leave me.”

Hearing his desperate cries into you made your heart break, forgetting everything that happened before. You sat and held him like he did to you. Giving him a place to let all his fears out in the safety of your embrace.

“It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.” You voice was basically a whisper as you ran your fingers down his hair, trying not to let the tears spill from your eyes again at they sadness in his voice and the way he clutched onto the back of your shirt.

“I’ve never loved someone before. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He spoke after a moment, he felt more relaxed in your arms and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Until you registered what he said for the second time.

“You love me?”

“Fuck. Did I say that?” He pulled away to look at you, eyes wide. All you could do was nod at his question, still processing it. “Shit, y/n. I, uh, ignore that.”

You shook your head rapidly, opening your mouth to say something. Anything. When nothing came out you leaned forward pressing your lips to his. His eyes flew open for a second but then he melted into your lips as his hands moved to bury themselves in your hair.

“I love you too.” You whispered into his lips, but he didn’t hear you. Too focused on your lips against his. You pulled back breaking the kiss to say it again, if you didn’t say it now you knew you’d regret it. He needed to hear how much he meant to you. “Yuu, I’m in love with you. I think I was before anything happened.”

“Really?”

“Let me finish!” You couldn’t help but laugh a little at his eager tone. “You’re so good to me, more than I think I deserve. Hearing you beat yourself up like that. I just…. Don’t ever, ever think I regret being with you for one second. The things you said…… Yuu, they’re not true. You need to know how much you deserve.”

“I’m sorry.” Was all he said. He knew he had a temper, and it usually was directed toward himself. Starting off as a simple thought and snowballing into full on degrading himself. You tilted his chin up making him look at you again, wanting to make him feel better. Pressing your lips to his again, this time less sweet. Deepening it by tugging on his shirt.

“If you don’t believe me… Let me show you just how much I love you, Nishi.” It took one look into your dark gaze for him to understand what you meant. His face flushed and you almost giggle at the sight. “I was heading back to my dorm, why don’t you come with me?”

“But, Daichi….” Nishinoya glanced back at the gym quickly before looking back to you.

“It’s okay, I can wait. Alone. In my dorm. Who knows what I’d do while you’re at practice…..”

“No fucking way, I’m coming with you” That was the first practice he missed on purpose.

[brainrattlers]

Play It Cool  - Tyson Jost (1/n)

A/N: I’ve been writing this story for months, and I’m not anywhere near finished. It’s been loosely based on the 2021-2022 NHL season, along with Nathan MacKinnon (he’s not the main character here though), Tyson Jost (he’s more the main character), and introducing OFCs AJ and Jess. There are some parts, that if you’ve read things I’ve posted before, that will sound familiar - I’m just finally inserting it in. Typos are my own fault and I’m constantly editing.

Word Count: 3250-ish for this bit. Warnings in this installment: Mainly language. Alcohol consumption. This may get a little on the sexy side at some point, so... 18+ is probably a fair warning too.

AJ was still getting accustomed to things at work having been there a few weeks. She despised being the newbie. While sure, she knew things, but those things were always ever so slightly different at every job. And of course she was getting assigned the awful tickets, the grunt work that no one else with any amount of seniority on her would want to do. And now they didn’t have to because AJ was here. 

IT Support is not glamorous. It’s also typically not hiding behind a computer and pressing a few buttons to make things work. That’s part of it, but there was so much more. AJ’s position was far more hands-on, installing/maintaining hardware, fixing printers, and verbally slapping people that clicked on phishing links in emails.

Most days so far found AJ in an office setting, but today was the first day she found herself at Ball Arena, tasked with replacing a couple wireless access points. One of them was a major concern and was specifically scheduled in her support tickets. She found her way around the arena, swapping a couple out, and avoiding peeking out at what was going on the ice, even if she was curious to see what the Avalanche were doing with their pre-game skate that day. AJ had a schedule and she needed to stick with it. After finishing up a few more tasks, her next task found herself… in the Avalanche locker room. Pre-game skate was over, and this particular access point was specifically given a time slot to be completed due to practice, then the game later that day. But she was assured the room should be empty for her to complete the job.

Grabbing the 10 foot ladder, as the ceilings were oddly tall, AJ steadied herself climbing up, and got to work removing the old AP. While doing so, she turned on some music on her phone, and was singing softly to herself, not paying much attention to the surroundings. AJ was so focused on her work, and staying stable on the ladder, she didn’t notice the footsteps coming from a neighboring room. In fact, she didn’t even notice that the footsteps stopped at the doorway, and the figure stood there in not much more than a towel, but smiled at the sound of her singing.

AJ twisted a bit to reach up and mount the new AP, and as she turned back to the ladder descend, she caught the lingering figure in the doorway in her peripheral vision.

No delicate way to put this. She screamed and damn near fell down the ladder.

The tall, muscular man who, let’s face it, was kind of creeping on her, suddenly snapped to attention and ran to her, making sure she was okay.

Exasperated, AJ wasn’t intentionally yelling, nor was she meaning to be unprofessional, but she did just have the hell scared out of her. She was still trying to catch her breath and get her pulse rate down.

“Holy fuck, how long were you standing there? And why?!” AJ steadied herself against the ladder, staring and finally connecting the dots that Tyson Jost was standing in front of her - in a towel. She was amazed her brain was even still functioning. “I was told that the room was supposed to be empty!”

Tyson smirked as he caught AJ taking in the sight before her, then apologized, “Sorry, hey are you okay? You almost took a spill there, yeah? You good? I really didn’t mean to scare you. I just wasn’t expecting anyone to be in the room, especially singing so beautifully.”

The compliment caught AJ off-guard, and she blushed heavily. Grasping the reality of it all, she awkwardly thanked him, but assured him she was fine. Feeling weird about the whole situation, including the fact that her heart started pounding again at the sight of a shirtless Tyson in front of her, she apologized, and grabbed the ladder and excused herself, apologizing again on the way out.

“Smooth, AJ,” she thought to herself, hoping this event would not be mentioned ever again. 

“Who was that?” Tyson thought to himself, thinking of the woman with the curly hair fixing something on the ceiling. He looked at whatever she was working on. “I didn’t even get her name. Smooth, Tyson.” A chuckle and a shake of Tyson’s head followed.

***

AJ finished up her day at work, and sighed. She was tired and felt the need to get a stiff drink, but she knew she was going to end up back at the arena in a couple hours. One of the perks of the new job was getting cheaper tickets, which made her feel a little more accomplished than letting Nate spoil her constantly with a ticket to games. Speaking of Nate, as she sat on the sofa and staring at the ceiling, her attention was caught with a buzzing of her phone with a text.

Nate: You coming to the game tonight?

AJ tapped back a quick response. Yeah, heading out soon permitting I don’t fall asleep on the couch. Was a day, on ladders a lot. Embarrassed the fuck out of myself, and I just hope it doesn’t get back to my supervisor.

Nate: Probably wasn’t THAT bad. Where you sitting?

AJ: 120. Normal row.

Nate: Nice.

Finding a quick dinner before leaving, AJ slung on her 29 jersey, and grabbed her piece of posterboard that she had made a quick sign on the night before. It was a new game for her to play… “Can I make Nate react to a sign during pre-game?” She hit the road, and parked in her new-found secret parking lot that was way cheaper than parking at the arena, thanks to Jess. 

Jess and AJ met, thanks to Nate - they met through his stream chats. Nate was the reason she ended up in Denver, working in IT for KSE. It was a whirlwind last few months, but that right there is a long story for a different time.  

Heading to the arena, AJ got in line, and made it through security, grabbed a beer and headed to her seat in 120. Small-talk was made with the usher that was normally in her section, questioning what her sign meant. 

Not really wanting to explain the whole story, AJ simply said, “I’m hoping it’s a joke that Nate gets.”

It was finally time for the team to come out for pre-game warmups. The boys all flew by on their skates, taking shots at Kuemper, stretching, and working on their stick-handling. With the guests not in their seats in front of her, AJ grabbed her sign and stood next to the glass, sticking her sign up.

HEY YUNGGNATE29 -

Subs for dubs?

Music blasted through the PA system, and AJ bounced along with the beat, keeping an eye on Nate. He skated up to her, but kept his back to her and the sign. He stood there, seemingly keeping his sights on the players and activity around him. Raising his stick, the blade tapped the glass three times before he skated off.  AJ smiled.

“Wait, was that for you?” The usher looked amazed.

AJ laughed. “Yeah, he got the joke.”

However, what AJ didn’t expect while she stood there with small children to her side watching warmups, is that Tyson Jost would skate up, and fist bump the glass where little hands slapped the glass. It was truly adorable, all the players were amazing with their fans. Except it suddenly hit AJ that this was the man she completely made a fool of herself in front of earlier that day. She hoped that he wouldn’t connect the dots.

But he did. She saw the exact moment it all clicked. Tyson’s face lit up into a smile, and winked at AJ. And in those few moments, AJ was suddenly mortified and wanted to hide, turning nearly as red as the burgundy of her jersey. Her body betrayed her though, and she smiled as she looked down quickly, trying to avoid eye contact before he skated off to toss a puck at Kuemper.

Leave it to EJ though to break her moment of embarrassment. Having seen Nate tap his stick at AJ, he skated up with his back to her as well.  Instead of a few light taps though, EJ swung the blade and slammed it into the glass with a loud CLANG right at face level for AJ. AJ whipped her head up in absolute shock and gasped to prevent a scream. The toothless grin of EJ graced his face as he chuckled, skating off. The sound made several players look over at AJ, still with a look of shock on her face. Nate smiled and shook his head before looking serious and passing a puck to Burky. Tyson looked up, from a few feet away, doing a little stick-handling drill between pucks, noticing Nate, then sighed and went back to his drills until warmups ended.

The game was a tough one - Chicago was not to be underestimated, especially with Fleury in goal. Somehow though, speeding around several Blackhawks players, Nate shot the puck, causing it to sail past Fleury’s shoulder and hitting the back of the net. The horn sounded, and Nate celebrated with his linemates. Before skating off the ice, he pointed at AJ with a huge smile. AJ pointed right back with a wink.

This was a thing between Nate and AJ for a few games now, starting at the end of the previous season. There was speculation on Twitter, but only AJ and Nate knew the significance. To be honest, it first happened the first time Nate had AJ come to a game. It happened a few times when he’d scored. One time Nate failed to find AJ and point at her, and the Avs lost the game. The next time he scored, he brought it back, and they won. Thus, the super-celly-stition was born. And it never failed that Jess would text AJ from across the arena, wishing she was sitting with AJ.

AJ: You know you could get tickets with me sometime. Maybe soon I can talk him into lunch or something. It’s the least he could do, considering how many subs we’ve thrown out.

The game continued, and with a few seconds left in the 2nd period, the faceoff was on the opposite side of the rink from AJ’s seats. She found herself looking at the bench, accidentally locking eyes with number 17. Of course she couldn’t be certain in those moments that Jost was looking at her, that was quite a distance away. It wasn’t until she noticed that Jost leaned over a bit to say something to Nate, sitting next to him. Nate nodded, said something and looked over at AJ as well. The two said a few more words as the end-of-period horn blasted through the arena.

She couldn’t help the slight feeling of wtf-ness that filled her head.

The third period was pretty uneventful, other than Kuemper making some great saves, and Compher scoring the game-winner. The team skated to center ice, saluted the fans, and skated off to the locker room to get cleaned up and post-game media time. AJ picked up her sign, and started following the crowds to the concourse, and out of the building. Nearly to her car, the phone in her pocket buzzed.

Nate: Don’t know if you’re still around, a few of us are going out in a bit. Want to come? 

That was not a text AJ expected that night from Nate. Knowing he’s not normally one to go out, she decided maybe it was a sign to go for it. Although that also made her nervous as she didn’t know who “a few of us” were. 

AJ: Um, okay? I need to get my car out of event parking though.

Nate: Go drop off your car at your place I’ll pick you up. You’re on the way. I’ll text you when I'm almost there.

As per usual, not knowing what to expect with Nate, she sent her typical What should I be wearing?  text.

Nate: Whatever you want, I think we’re just going to a bar. See you in a bit.

She had no idea what she was getting herself into, but she got to her car, got out of the event parking lot she was parked in and headed home. Thankfully traffic was on her side, just as she was unlocking her door, Nate texted that he was on his way.  AJ had just enough time to change into a comfy hoodie and re-did her hair. Curly hair can be so fickle, but she got it under control. Another text from Nate said he was at her place.  Grabbing her keys and phone, she was out the door, into Nate’s car, and the two were on their way.

“Saw your sign. You have got to stop giving subs in my channel. You know you don’t need to,” Nate laughed as he turned on some rap music to accompany them on the short drive to Cherry Creek. Once they arrived, Nate slung his arm around AJ as they entered the establishment. Eying the bar, AJ saw a number of Avalanche player faces she recognized. Nate nodded at EJ and pulled AJ with him toward the man with the epitome of a hockey player smile.

With their arrival, a small crowd convened around the two, leaving AJ feeling a little anxious, but Nate kept that arm around her like a security blanket as he introduced her to a number of guys and their significant others. AJ kept her cool, shaking hands and making small-talk with a handful of people. Finally, she turned to Nate with a question.

“You drinking tonight? Blue Moon?” AJ raised an eyebrow at Nate, curious of his response.

“If you’re buying, yeah.”

AJ rolled her eyes, and got herself out from under Nate’s arm. She headed to the bar, and got the attention of the bartender, placing an order for two Blue Moons. At the same time, AJ felt like there were eyes on her. She slowly turned a bit to catch a couple of the players and Nate chatting and looking in her direction. Oh what she wouldn’t have paid to know what they were talking about. Trying to play it down, she paid for the drinks, left a tip and headed back to the small crowd.  She and Nate clinked their bottles before taking a swig.

Little did AJ know that she was going to need a lot more than just that swig. A couple more players showed up and made their way over to the small group. AJ recognized JT heading their way, but didn’t see that Tyson was right behind him. Nate introduced JT, and couldn’t help but grin when Tyson was up next.

“I’m pretty sure you two have already met.” The grin on Nate’s face was now ear to ear.

“Fuck. He knows,” AJ thought to herself. “Well, can’t ignore what happened and might as well own up.”

“Hey, AJ, right?” Tyson knew, but he himself was trying to play aloof.

“Yeah,” AJ started blushing, then got a mischievous grin as well. “Nice to meet you again, with a bit more clothes on this time.”

It was Tyson’s turn to blush heavily.

“Wait, what?” Nate was very confused. “What?”

Maybe Nate didn’t know the extent of how they met, at least.

“Don’t worry about it. Like I said, it was a weird day at work.” AJ smiled and sighed, before taking a large gulp of her beer and finding herself back under the safety blanket of Nate’s arm.

Thankfully the liquid courage was beginning to kick in, and she was finding herself more comfortable chatting with the guys and their significant others with them. Music poured through the venue, as did another beer in her hand. A few of the WAGs managed to get AJ onto the dance floor, a few players in tow. She might have mouthed “Save me?” to Nate who most definitely did not get on the dance floor.  He simply laughed and shook his head no, with a “Go have fun.” Surprisingly, she did.

Nate enjoyed watching AJ loosen up and indeed just have fun. She never would have guessed she’d fit in with this crowd. Here she was, AJ who works in IT, wearing jeans and a basic hoodie, burgundy curly hair that bounced to the beat with those around her. She wasn’t model thin, she wasn’t blonde. But no one, including herself, cared. Even more surprising was when she looked over and did not see Nate where he was previously sitting, but instead swaying a bit right next to her. He loved that her eyes sparkled when she leaned in to yell something to him over the thumping bass.

“Wow MacKinnon, I can’t believe you’re out here… and I didn’t even have to get the DJ to play some MGMT!” AJ winked at Nate. He smirked back at her as she grabbed his waist to pull him a bit closer as the beat continued, with the two of them moving, albeit awkwardly, in sync. Mikko bumped his hip with AJ’s and nodded in recognition as she smiled up at him. She didn’t catch that Nate smiled at Mikko first. Nate was just happy she felt comfortable - he knew the move had been a little rough, leaving her with few friends in a new city. One thing he was certain of though was that his friends would love her just as much as he did. And he wasn’t wrong.

What Nate didn't catch was JT and Tyson sitting at the bar, Tyson trying not to stare at AJ. He watched her move with the music. His heart cringed when he saw her hand on Nate's chest as she laughed at something he said. 

It was getting late, the dance floor emptied, and the last few people in the bar were paying their tabs. Nate was exhausted, but it was worth it to him, to see AJ come out of her shell like she did. He found her still chatting with JT, Sydney, Mikko, Susanna, and unexpectedly, Tyson right next to her. Clearly she was over the embarrassment of whatever happened earlier in the day between the two of them.

Nate leaned in a bit, getting AJ’s attention. “Hey, I don’t mean to be that guy, but I’m done for the night…”

AJ looked at her watch. “Oh shit, Nate I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to keep you out so late - fuck! We can head out.”

It really wasn’t his intention to pull her away from her newly-found friends, he figured she’d get an Uber home, but she insisted they both head out. Excusing herself, she gave the typical pleasantries and somewhat buzzed hugs to those that tackled her first. While he didn’t initiate it, AJ did pull Tyson in for a side-hug. With a final wave to everyone, she and Nate headed for the door. It was a quick drive back to her place, where she thanked Nate profusely for inviting her out and having a fun night.

AJ got inside, kicked off her shoes, and grabbed a bottle of water, some aspirin, and headed straight for bed. She drank more than she realized at the time. Chugging the water and a couple pills, AJ then fell face-first into pillows. She was never more thankful she had the next day off.

Part 2: https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/684166052943478784/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-2n

[escapewriter]

Lover

pairing : vernon x reader

synopsis : love makes you do crazy things, except this wasn’t really crazy for him. he’s just a man in love who’s willing to do it all for you.

genre : fluff, like a lot of fluff, humor

word count : 3.6k

warnings : none

posted : 2/17/21

a/n : ty ty to @woozisnoots for beta reading. i really needed it or it would’ve sounded so awkward so tysm alex <3 and HAPPY VERNON AND SEOKMIN DAYYYY. tell me why this took me almost a month to write even though its like... eh. neway, I HOPE YALL ENJOY, it has that princess and the frog vibe.

TAGLIST : @vibecheckvernon @beomiebear5 @lightoflife @skylions-den @noniesgirl @woozisnoots

won’t let me tag : @pandora1834

send me an ask/dm if you would like to be on the taglist

pieces of love masterlist // playlist // main masterlist

‘Letter 355’ was written in big letters on the front of the envelope. You sat on the bed as you tore the sealed flap open. Vernon has been writing you small notes ever since your 6th year anniversary. This is the first real letter you’ve gotten because before, it was simple post-it notes, and as your 7th year together approaches, you can’t help but wonder what he has planned this time.

You took out the paper, unfolded it and scanned his messy handwriting. You smiled as your fingertips touched the ink on the paper. You began to read:

Ma Belle,

I hope you will have a wonderful day today. Are you surprised you’re getting a letter instead of a post-it note? You probably are lol. Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the messy handwriting, I had to leave early this morning and didn’t have time to write neatly, or spell correctly so if you see some typos, you didn’t (cue the clown emoji).

Also, a heads up, I may be returning home late due to the guys wanting to hang out, so if you need me, call me. And yes, I’ll text you if I have to stay at one of their apartments and I’ll text you when I leave. I know the drill ;)

Please be safe today, and you know MY drill don’t you? It’s the exact same thing I said above, HA! So, text me when you leave the house and when you arrive at work. I can’t wait to see you again (even though we live together). I love you Ma Belle. Just 10 more days!

Love, Vernon

You smiled at the nickname he had given you as you felt the familiar rush of fireworks erupt in your stomach, hugging the letter close to your chest. You couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have a man like Vernon. He took time out of his day for almost a year just to write you a letter every morning so you could wake up happy. He is an absolute crazy man for doing this.

You folded up the letter and carefully placed it back in the envelope. You went to your desk, grabbing the photobook on the shelf and opened it, seeing where you kept all his notes for the past year. You flipped to a page and inserted the letter in an empty slot. You closed the book and placed it on the shelf once more, looking at it as you thought about how he was capable of doing something like this for a whole year, who knows what he has planned for your anniversary.

~

Vernon has a lot planned actually. He is going to keep writing you letters every morning before he goes to work, but on the day of your anniversary, it’s going to be a little different and he couldn’t wait for that day to come.

He walked alone, glancing into the stores that he passed as he waited for the call. He turned around and began to head back to where he came from before, feeling the buzzing of his phone. He looked at the screen and answered.

“Hey Shua, are you guys done?” He bit his lower lip a bit, hoping they got what he had asked for. He heard his friend sigh on the other end of the line.

“Hell yeah we got it.” Letting out a breath of relief, he nodded as he listened to Joshua tell him to return back to the car so they could go and eat. Hanging up, he walked quickly back to meet up with his friends.

He could not wait for the day to come.

//

You saw ‘Letter 360’ taped to the refrigerator when you reached the kitchen to prepare yourself breakfast. You had only received small notes like before ever since ‘Letter 355’, so you were a bit taken aback because you simply thought that he wrote a long letter due to his busy schedule that day. You weren’t sure what to expect of this though as he told you the night prior that he would be home before dinner.

You tore the flap of the envelope and took out the paper, quickly unfolding it as you began to read his messy handwriting:

Ma Belle,

Did you sleep well last night? I hope so because then I’ll feel bad for not being able to be there with you to make you feel better :( But!!! I hope this will make your morning a bit brighter if it wasn’t already. Inside the microwave are some pancakes that I made Mingyu bring for me because I would’ve burnt them. But they’re probably cold so you have to heat it up. There were 4 in total but I was hungry and ate one hehe.

Anyway, I’ll see you in a few hours, Ma Belle. Stay safe at work and text me! I love you!

Love, Vernon

You felt the warmth creep up in your chest as you grinned, rereading the letter again. Although this made you incredibly happy, you couldn’t help but think about what you could do better for Vernon in this relationship. You never want him to feel as if he was the only one putting effort.

After making a quick decision, you put the letter back in the envelope and brought it to your room, placing it in an empty slot of the photobook. You went back out to the kitchen and heated up the pancakes Vernon had mentioned, deciding that you will make a small trip to the store after having breakfast.

~

Unknowingly, you walked down the same path Vernon had the day he went out with his friends secretly without telling you. You passed multiple stores as you racked your brain for some sort of idea on what to get him. You already had your anniversary gift planned out for him, but that’s a secret that you have been keeping from him since day one. You just hope he doesn’t go searching for the photobook.

You walked slowly, glancing into stores to get some sort of idea before stopping in front of a jewelry store. You hesitated knowing that Vernon never wanted you to spend so much money on him, but look at where you are. You decide to tell him it’s an anniversary gift instead of just giving it to him tonight so that way he wouldn’t get mad at you. Yeah, that’s a better plan.

As you enter the store, your eyes immediately go to the locked glass cases of beautiful jewelry. Maybe you should’ve thought this through because you had no idea what to get him. Looks like guessing is the best bet for you.

//

You made it home from work just before Vernon got home. Quickly, you went to your room and took the box out of the bag and placed it behind the photobook. You disposed of the bag, making sure that Vernon wouldn’t spot any evidence of the fact that you spent a lot of money on him.

You were now in the kitchen, looking to prepare something for dinner before the front door opened with your boyfriend coming in with bags in his hand. You smiled and quickly met him at the door, grabbing a few bags before kissing his cheek.

“You bought dinner? I was planning to make something for you.” He smiled warmly and led you to the dining room, placing the bags on the table. He quickly kissed your cheek before holding one of your hands.

“Ma Belle~” The teasing sound of his voice echoed in your ears as you smiled widely, shying away a bit before you felt the tips of his fingers move your head to face his again, “You don’t have to cook for me tonight. Let’s just relax and enjoy the food I bought, how does that sound?” You stared into his hypnotizing eyes, the warmth in your chest rising as you nodded your head with a smile.

“Okay! Let's get some plates!”

//

You woke up to an empty bed, confused as to why Vernon wasn’t next to you. Sitting up straight, you looked at your night stand, searching for the familiar post-it note or envelope. You thought that maybe it was something similar to the letter 5 days ago where you found it taped to the fridge.

You stretched out your arms, yawning in the process as you heard your phone buzz on the table. Unplugging it, you opened your messages and spotted a familiar name. Boo Seungkwan.

‘You home?’ You didn’t know why he was texting you at this time, he was usually asleep. And he knows that it’s your anniversary with Vernon today, so you were confused as to why he was asking if you were home.

‘No. I’m with Vernon.’ Obviously you lied to try and get out of any sort of event he may have planned just so you can eat a small breakfast and get ready for the day. You just have to find Vernon’s note.

‘Bullshit. I’m with Vernon right now.’ Your eyes widened, a scowl appearing on your face as you questioned why Vernon was with Seungkwan instead of you. ‘Why are you with Vernon? Where are you guys?’

On the other side of the phone, Seungkwan was panicking. He knew that you weren’t with Vernon because Vernon was with Joshua setting up everything for your anniversary.

He looked around the room, thinking of an answer to come up with before Chan walked in, “Seungkwan? What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be distracting them for Vernon?” He tossed his phone to the younger, eyes filled with fear and uneasiness. Chan read the messages and laughed, “Vernon will kill you if you don’t pull this off. Good luck!” Seungkwan groaned as he decided to just show up at your home and keep you occupied.

You stared at the messages, expecting him to answer but received nothing. You sighed and just locked your phone, mind now set on looking for the letter. Every step you took to look into a room, your fingers were crossed in hopes that you would find any sort of evidence that Vernon has left for you. Plopping onto the couch, you thought that maybe he just forgot to write today, but it didn’t make sense since he wrote everyday for a whole year without forgetting. Even in previous letters, he would count down the days until it was your anniversary. It just didn’t make any sense.

You heard the doorbell ring, an ounce of hope in your heart as you thought that it could be Vernon. He has a key to the house. You sighed and got up from the couch as you went to the front door, unlocking it with a click and opening it.

Your eyes met Seungkwan’s and it immediately turned into a glare. “I thought you were with Vernon, hm?” He grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck.

“I lied.”

“I can see that.” You stepped to the side, making way for him to enter your house. You watched him sit on the couch as you closed the door and locked it. “What are you doing here, Seungkwan?”

“Uhm— Did you eat breakfast?” You saw his hands wipe down against his jeans, a nervous habit he had that you picked up on throughout your years of friendship.

“No I didn’t. And you avoided my question—”

“You haven’t eaten?” He stood up abruptly, determined to keep you distracted until lunch time, “Come on, lets cook some breakfast for you!” He turned towards the kitchen with you following closely after him after rolling your eyes and just letting it slide, thinking that maybe Vernon put him up to this.

//

Seungkwan sighed in content after finishing up his food, his eyes moving to meet your hard ones. “Seungkwan,” His eyes went to look around the room, just as long as they weren’t at you, “Seungkwan, stop avoiding eye contact.” He looked back at you, his lips pursed and throat feeling dry. “I have so many questions, but I won’t even bother at this point.” You shook your head and took your plate and his, bringing it to the sink and began to wash them.

As you were washing, you heard your name fall from his lips, “I can wash them, you have to go get ready.” Your head shot up, eyes looking to the side but your head staying in place.

“Get ready how? Where are we going?”

Seungkwan got up from his seat and stood next to you, “Don’t play dumb. Do you want your letter or not?” Your eyes lit up, nodding as you turned off the water and quickly went into your room to wash up and get ready.

“Thank you Seungkwan!”

//

You sat in the car with the radio gently playing in the background. A comfortable silence fell upon you and Seungkwan, who was in the driver's seat. You remembered to bring your gift as you looked at the large bag sitting on the floor between your legs. You checked the time on your phone, seeing that it was almost lunch.

“Wow, if Vernon planned a lunch, I’m glad you ate most of the breakfast food.” You out the window, giggling with Seungkwan.

“That was the whole point of me eating all the food. I had to keep you busy for a few more hours.”

You sighed and nodded your head in understanding, turning your head to look at the side of his face, “Where are we headed to anyway?”

He glanced away from the road to look at you for a split second before lifting up his hand, his pointer finger placed on his lips as he made a ‘shh’ sound. “It’s a secret.”

“Well can you tell me if it’s far? I kind of want to take a nap.”

“Go for it, but don’t get mad when I wake you up.”

//

Your eyes fluttered, feeling the cool breeze against your skin as goosebumps rose. You opened your eyes, seeing your boyfriend standing next to you with the car door open. He flashed his gummy smile, holding his hand out for you to take, “Ma Belle~”

You looked down at the floor as you placed your hand in his, stepping out of the car with your bag and present in hand. “Where have you been Vernon Chwe?”

You smiled cheekily at him to which he shrugged with a teasing smile, “I’ve been doing things.”

You began to smile, looking at your interlocked fingers as he led you to a familiar area. You scanned the place, seeing the light of the sun reflect off the little lake that you knew all too well. Your hand tightened in his grasp causing him to stop walking and to turn to look at you, “What’s wrong?” You pouted, puppy eyes boring into his as he smiled softly.

“You took me here? I thought this place became private property and people weren’t allowed to be here.” He laughed softly and brought up his hand, placing his pointer finger against his lips.

“Shhh, we’re not.” Your eyes widened as you hit him with your bag and he laughed, “I’m kidding, I talked to the owner and they were fine with it, come on, let’s go.”

He brought you over to a picnic setup, the tall tree providing you shade that can cool your down from the scorching sun. You both sat down on the blanket, looking out to the lake with the mini table in between. You sighed in content, your eyes never leaving the shining lake, “Vernon this is incredible. I’m so happy you were able to get us in here.” You looked over at your boyfriend, a smirk on his face as he held up the missing letter.

“I know you’ve been wondering where the final letter was but I don’t know if I want to give it to you just yet.” You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “You have to eat with me first and then I’ll give you the letter, okay?” You smiled and nodded your head happily, the thought of what could possibly be in the letter consumes your mind.

//

You finished your food with a toss of your napkin to the plate, your eyes immediately going to Vernon who was laughing softly. “I know what you’re going to ask, but first let me open my gift, please?” He pouted in which you rolled your eyes in response.

“Fine.”

You handed over the bag, biting your lip out of a nervous habit, watching him take out the tissue paper and spotting the box and photobook. He took out the photobook, looking at you with an unsure expression before opening it. Raising his eyebrows, he found every note he has written to you, and next to it is a note you have written in response.

He took a deep breath, flipping through all the pages, trying to be as slow as possible just to tease you, but no luck, “Vernon you can read it at home.” You whined next to him as he slightly glared at you,

“Hey, I just want to appreciate you.” Still, he listened and put the photobook back in the bag and then took out the box. He opened the top carefully and stared at the piece of jewelry laying inside.

He head lolled to look at you, another pout on his lips, “I told you not to buy me anything expensive.”

You giggled and nodded your head towards the bracelet, “Dig a little deeper Vernon,” He rolled his eyes at your remark of quoting the song before taking out the chain. He turned the small heart-shaped charm over and found your name next to the words ‘Your Evangeline’ engraved in it.

His grip on the chain loosened as he handed it to you, holding out his arm, “Put it on for me?” Quickly you wrapped it around his wrist and locked it in place, beaming with happiness. “I love this, I just— it’s beautiful.”

“Can I read the letter now?” He sighed in defeat as he failed to stall everything a little while longer.

“Way to ruin the sentimental mood.” He handed you the letter, watching you bounce in excitement as you prepared to rip it open.

“Wait! Read it up there, next to the lake. Pretend I’m not here, like how you would read any letter in the morning, okay?” You nodded standing up and scurried over to the lake, thinking about how weird it was that he asked you to read it at this spot. The thought left your mind the second your eyes scanned ‘Letter 365’. Your heart pounded in your ears as you ripped the flap open and pulled out the paper. You began to read:

Ma Belle,

Happy 7th year Anniversary! Can you believe it has been seven years we’ve been together? It feels so amazing. I’m sorry you had to read this through a letter, but I feel like writing it out conveyed my feelings better than when I just wing it. So, I hope you prepare yourself because this is going to be a ride full of cheese and cringe.

I remember our first date here. It was very cheesy and seemed too extravagant for a first date, but we have known each other for a few months before I asked you out, so I call it a success. Anyway, I’ll never forget the look on your face when you saw the little fairy lights light up just at the snap of my finger. You said it looked like fireflies and reminded you of Princess and the Frog. Anyway, getting back to the point, the point is, this little lake holds a place in my heart because it was all those months of me silently pining after you to finally be able to take you here, it made me realize that I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Oh! Which reminds me of our first here, when we danced to the soundtrack of the movie. It’s random, I know but I don’t think you remember that. You probably won’t remember me proposing to you either, would you? Turn around Ma Belle :)

You slowly turned around, the blanket and picnic table gone, all that’s left in front of you is Vernon down on one knee holding up a small box displaying a beautiful ring. The arm holding the letter drops, your free hand coming up to slightly cover your mouth now agape. From his shaky hands to his beaming smile, the love you had for the man in front of you intensified.

He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, “So, do you remember now?” The water in your eyes that have been threatening to spill finally let go as you nodded your head, “Ma Belle~” That damn grin on his face made your knees shake, “Will you be my Evangeline and marry me?” Your legs collapsed, your knees hitting the grass as you hugged Vernon tightly, whispering ‘Yes’ into his ear.

The amount of love you felt in your heart took over as you cried silently against him. He pulled away, laughing softly as he wiped your tears and brought your hand up, slipping the ring onto your ring finger. “Hansol Vernon Chwe, no wonder you wanted to open my gift first.”

He shrugged, looking into your eyes with that same teary smile before leaning in and placing a soft yet meaningful kiss on your lips. In that magical moment, you knew that this is all for you; he is all for you and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[gossipgirliess]

Started With Jealousy

Pairing: Eli Goldsworthy x Fem!Reader

Characters: Eli Goldsworthy, Y/N L/N, Clare Edwards, Jake Martin, Fiona Coyne, Holly J Sinclair, Imogen Moreno, other students

Requested? Yes! This is my first request! Thank you for the idea, I haven’t been having any luck with coming up with ideas for imagines. This was requested by @fairyth0rns​ Thank you again for requesting this! I love writing for Degrassi so please request more stuff!

Summary: Clare is still hung up on Eli, even though she’s dating Jake. Y/N, Eli’s best friend, is jealous of the Edwards girl. While Eli is in the middle of a manic episode, he insults Y/N, leaving her hurt. Will Eli be able to get her to forgive him? Will he still have a chance with her? Read to find out!

Word Count: ? Sorry that it’s a little long, also sorry if there are any typos.

Warnings:  A couple curse words? Angst

Every night she found herself thinking “Why aren’t I good enough for him?”

You see, Y/N had feelings for someone. Someone who was her best friend. Someone who didn’t see her like that. That someone was Eli Goldsworthy.

“So anyway, she was totally being-Y/N? Hello? Y/N? Y/N/N?!”

“What, what?! Oh, my God, what?!”

“Did you hear a single word I said?” Fiona asked before Y/N sighed.

“No, sorry.” 

The two were at Y/N’s house, in her kitchen studying, while also eating take out. Holly J was supposed to be there as well, but she had a lot of homework to do.

“What’s wrong?” Fiona asked as she closed her text book.

“Nothing. It’s just-I just have a lot on my mind right now.” Y/N said as she closed her text book, as well.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I’m just so confused.”

Fiona’s eyebrows furrowed.

“About what?”

“Lots of things. School, feelings, life. Also-”

“Wait, wait, wait. Go back to feelings. Are you confused with your feelings for someone?” Fiona asked as she sat up.

“Yes, maybe, I don’t know. I think I like Eli.” Y/N said before Fiona’s eyes widended.

“You do?!”

“Yeah, I really do.”

The girls both squealed.

“Oh, my gosh! I knew it! Well, what’s stopping you?” Fiona asked before Y/N sighed.

“Clare.”

Eli and Clare dated, but Clare broke up with him. She soon began to date Jake, even though she wasn’t fully over Eli. Y/N was pretty positive that Eli wanted Clare back. But what she didn’t know was that Eli was trying to hide his feelings for her by thinking of ways to win Clare back.

“What’s Clare gonna do? She’s with Jake, remember?” Fiona said before Y/N nodded.

“I know. I’m just scared. If I tell him that I like him and he dosen’t like me back, that could ruin our friendship. It could make things awkward between us for the rest of our lives! And on top of that, I probably don’t stand a chance and he’s going to go back to Clare. And every time I look at Clare I think, ‘Why am I not good enough, but she is?’ ‘Why doesn’t he look at me the way he looks at her?’” Y/N said as she looked at Fiona.

“Oh, I see, you’re jealous.” Fiona said before Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Jealous? Y-yeah, okay, Fiona.”

“I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your tone! You’re jealous of Clare, Y/N!’ Fiona said before Y/N sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

“Okay, fine, yes! I’m jealous. But, it dosen’t matter. I’ll never be her.” Y/N said before Fiona sighed and hugged her.

***

The next day Y/N was at her locker.

“Y/N!”

She turned around and saw Eli walking towards her.

“Oh, hey, Eli.”

“Hey. So, you’re still coming to my play, right?” Eli asked before Y/N nodded.

“Yep, I wouldn’t miss it.” Y/N said before Eli smiled.

“Cool. Great I-I just wanted to make sure you were still coming.” Eli said before Y/N smiled.

“Well, I am.”

“Hey, guys.” Fiona said as she walked over.

“Hi.”

“See you guys around. Bye, Y/N/N.” Eli said before he walked away.

“Bye.”

“Did you see that?!” Fiona asked before Y/N closed her locker.

“See what?” Y/N asked as the two started to walk down the hallway.

“He said bye to you directly.” Fiona said as she linked her arm with Y/N‘s

“That dosen’t mean anything.” Y/N said as she rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say.” Fiona said as Y/N shook her head and smiled.

***

The play was starting in less than ten minutes and Imogen was no where to be found.

Eli was sitting at a vanity backstage.

“Did you find her?” Eli asked as Y/N walked over to him.

“Nope. No one’s seen her. We’ve looked everywhere. She’s not even answering her phone. How are you doing?” Y/N asked as she stood behind him.

“Not that great, considering I don’t have a leading lady.” Eli said before Y/N lightly chuckled.

“It’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that.”

“True. But, I believe you’ll be able to pull it off.” Y/N said before Eli sighed and stood up.

“How can you be so sure?! I don’t have a leading lady! This play is turing into a disaster!” Eli exclaimed as Y/N slightly flinched.

“It’s okay. Eli, just calm down-“

“It’s not that easy, okay?! God, Y/N, you just don’t get it! You’re so annoying! I sometimes can’t believe I’m even friends with you! You’re an awful friend!” Eli yelled before Y/N’s face fell.

“Oh. Well, if that’s how you feel.” Y/N said before she started to walk away.

“Y/N-wait! Y/N! Damn it!” Eli said before he kicked a chair.

“Care to explain why we just saw Y/N run out crying?” Fiona asked after she and Holly J walked over.

“She was crying?” Eli asked as he turned around.

“Yeah. She looked really hurt. What happened?” Holly J asked.

“I-I think I was having another episode and I went off on her.” Eli sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Why don’t you go try to find her and calm her down?” Fiona suggested before Holly J nodded and left.

“Sure.”

“Okay, it’s just you and me here. Wanna tell me what happened?” Fiona asked as she leaned against the vanity.

“She came back here to tell me nobody’s seen Imogen and was trying to tell me thay everything would be okay and that everything would work out. I guess I didn’t wanna hear it and I lashed out on her.” Eli said before Fiona sighed.

“Oh, no. What did you say?” Fiona asked.

“I-I told her she was annoying and a bad friend and-”

“And?”

“And that sometimes I can’t believe I’m even friends with her.” Eli said before Fiona gasped.

“Oh, my God! Eli, that’s terrible!” Fiona said as Eli sighed.

“I know, I know. I just-I think I messed up the best friendship I’ve ever had.”

“Y/N! Y/N! Wait!” Holly J said as she followed Y/N down the hall.

“What, Holly J?” Y/N asked as she turned around.

“Come here.” Holly J said as she opened her arms.

Y/N ran into her arms and cried into her shoulder.

Holly J whispered soft sayings into her ear and ran her hand through her hair.

She then lead her to a bench.

“Now, what exactly happend?” Holly J asked after the two sat down.

“Eli happened. He told me that he dosen’t even know why he’s friends with me.” Y/N said as she wiped her tears.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” Holly J said as she held her hand.

“You didn’t see his face, Holly J. He looked pretty serious.” Y/N said as she laid her head on Holly J’s shoulder.

“Well, the play’s about to start, so what are you gonna do? The audience is packed.” Fiona said.

“I don’t have a leading lady.” Eli said before Fiona sighed.

“I’ll do it. I’ll play Clara. I know the lines.” Fiona said.

“You don’t know the new ending.” Eli said.

“If I have to read my script on stage, then so be it. Bottom line it says directed by Fiona Coyne in the program. And like I said before I will not be responsible for a bomb. So, are you with me or what?” Fiona asked.

“I’m with you.” Eli said before they heard the music.

“That’s the cue. Better get stage left for my big entrance. See you in the spotlight.” Fiona said before she walked away.

“Show time.”

***

Holly J managed to convince Y/N to watch the play and the two were sitting in the audience.

“Thanks for coming, I just-I hate the way we left things. The truth is, you should be with me, not uh-him. Um-I’m sorry. Uh, what?” Eli asked after he looked at Y/N.

“Um-Maybe we should go away from here.” Fiona said before Eli looked at her.

“No, th-that’s not how it goes. That’s my line, not your’s. You’re not following the script!” Eli said.

“You’re not exactly following the script either, Ari!” Fiona said before the audience laughed.

“It dosen’t matter, you’re not her.” Eli said before Fiona looked at him.

“Eli, come on, we’re almost done. Just stick to the script!” Fiona said softly.

“What script? There’s not script! You can’t write your life! No matter how much all of you want a happy ending, you can’t have it! I tried to write one, but it’s impossible. I rewrote and rewrote but things kept changing, and I hurt people, and I-I knew they were hurting, but I didn’t stop. Because your mind tricks you. It tricks you into thinking that things are fine. They’re not fine, nothing is fine! It’s all wrong!” Eli exclaimed after stood up and took the script from Fiona.

He looked at Y/N, who had tears in her eyes.

“I’m all wrong. That’s it. There’s no happy ending.” Eli said before he lit the script on fire and fell to the ground.

“Um.. Lights!” Fiona said before the lights turned off and being everyone started clapping.

The audience stood up and applauded before the cast bowed.

Eli had tears in his eyes and looked at Y/N, who had tears in her eyes, as well.

As soon as everyone started going backstage, Y/N ran out in tears, with Fiona and Holly J following.

“I got it.” Fiona said as Holly J nodded.

“Okay.”

“Y/N! Y/N/N! Y/N! Wait!” Fiona said as she ran after her best friend.

“Leave me alone, Fiona.”

“No, stop, wait! Y/N?” Fiona said soflty after she turned Y/N around.

“What?”

“Look, he didn’t mean-”

“You weren’t there, Fiona. You didn’t hear him, you didn’t see his face.” Y/N said as she wiped her tears.

“How about we just crash at my place and forget about this whole nightmare?” Fiona asked before Y/N nodded.

“I guess that would be okay.” Y/N said before Fiona smiled and put her arm around her.

“Good.”

***

For the past few days, Eli had been doing everything he could to get Y/N to forgive him.

He tried calling her, texting, he even went to her house.

But, she contiuned to ignore him. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever talk to him again.

“Fiona, hey!” Eli said as he followed Fiona down the hallway.

“Oh, uh, hi, Eli.” Fiona said after she turned around.

“Do you know when Y/N’s gonna forgive me.” Eli asked before Fiona shrugged.

“To be honest, I’m not sure if she will. What you said really hurt her, Eli. Even if you didn’t mean it.” Fiona said before Eli sighed.

“Well, can you at least tell her that I’m really sorry.” Eli said before Fiona nodded.

“Sure. See ya.” Fiona said after she saw Y/N and before she walked away.

“Bye.”

“What did he say?” Y/N asked as Fiona came up to her.

“He just said to tell you that he’s really sorry. And he looked pretty bad. I’ve never seen him that upset.” Fiona said before Y/N sighed.

“What do you think I should do?” Y/N asked.

“Maybe hear him out.” Fiona said with a small shrug before the bell rang.

“I guess.” Y/N said before the two walked to class.

***

After school, Y/N decided to text Eli and tell him to come over.

Eli raced over there as soon as he saw the text.

“Hey.” Eli said after Y/N answered the door.

“Hi. Come in.”

The two went up the her room.

“Look, I’m really, really sorry. I honestly don’t know why I said those things. You’re not annoying, you’re actually really fun to be around. You’re also a great friend and I know why I’m friends with you, and it’s because you’re an amazing person.” Eli said before Y/N slightly blushed and smiled.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I guess there’s something I have to get off of my chest.” Y/N said before Eli’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Okay, what is it?”

“I-I’ve been jealous of Clare.” Y/N sighed.

“Of Clare? Why?” Eli asked.

“Because of your history, because of the way you look at her, because she’s not me.” Y/N said as tears started to form in her eyes.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What do you mean, ‘she’s not you?’ So what? Who cares if she’s not you. You’re awesome.” Eli said as he wiped her tears.

“T-thanks.”

“Also..”

“What? What?” Y/N asked with a slight chuckle.

Eli placed his hands on her cheeks and crashed his lips against hers.

The two slowly pulled away and their eyes fluttered open.

“I really like you, Y/N L/N.” Eli said with a small chuckle.

“I really like you, too, Eli Goldsworthy.” Y/N said with a small smile.

“So, do you forgive me?” Eli asked before Y/N lightly smirked.

“Maybe.” Y/N said before Eli chuckled and connected their lips again.

[knivesareout]

like it or not

Pairing: Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: FLUFF, seriously so much fluff it’s disgusting. Food mention. Possible typos?

Summary: Kids aren’t afraid to speak their mind and your daughter is no exception. 

A/N: Based off this TikTok. The fic wrote itself, basically. Was gonna write it for a Pedro character but someone (@michaelperry​ @marvelousmermaid​) mentioned Santi so here we are. AO3 link here. Enjoy!

---

It was a quiet Sunday morning and you were basking in the silence.

You’d left bed only a few minutes ago with a sleeping Santi and your daughter curled up soundly against his side, snoring softly. It was rare that the two of them slept later than you did on any given day and you planned to take advantage for as long as you could manage.

It started out with a quick shower in the guest bathroom. Less chances of them waking up, you figured, not willing to chance it. After that it was a face mask that you’d managed to grab from your own bathroom while you fully moisturized your body with the lotion tucked under the cabinet.

As much as you loved your little family, and you did, it was nice to have time to yourself. Things were almost always chaos around your house; with Lucy running and getting into everything her hands could reach and Santi working later hours, you were feeling run down and it seemed like someone was smiling down on you this morning to allow you the peace and quiet you’d desperately needed. 

You figure it was probably best to start on breakfast now before Lucy woke up and decided she wanted to help. Usually you didn’t mind her asking to help but it almost always ended up in a mess and this morning it wasn’t something you really wanted to deal with if you could avoid it. 

Music plays quietly in the background of the kitchen. It was a soft rock playlist Santi had made for you when you first started dating. It reminds you of stolen kisses and long distance phone calls in the middle of the night when he was stationed in another country-  harder but simpler times. A time before mortgages, shared finances, and your daughter.

By the time the pancakes are done and you start working on the eggs, you hear heavy footsteps climbing down the stairs and smile. As sad as you were to have your quiet morning coming to an end, you knew the smell of breakfast was bound to wake them up sooner rather than later. 

“Good morning mi reina,” Santi greets you, walking into the kitchen with Lucy hiked up high on his hip, still dressed in his boxers and a black shirt. Her head was buried sleepily in his neck, her pj’s askew from a heavy night’s sleep, curls wild, and the image has your heart squeezing. 

“Morning handsome,” you call back, pushing the eggs around in the pan.

Santi sidles up to you to press a kiss to your cheek and you lean over, pressing one to Lucy’s forehead. “Morning baby, did you sleep okay?”

She nods tiredly, looking around. “Pancakes for breakfast?”

Of course she skips right over the eggs you were clearly cooking and you roll your eyes, reaching over to tickle her tummy. “Yes and eggs too,” you told her and she giggles, shying away from your hands. 

You start to plate everything up once the eggs are done, bringing them over to the table while Santi buckles Lucy up in her booster seat. 

“How long have you been up babe?” 

“A couple hours, maybe?” You tell him, cutting up Lucy’s pancakes and drizzling them lightly with syrup before sliding it closer to her. “You two were passed out and I couldn’t sleep anymore so I figured I’d get a head start on everything.”

You all dig in, hands moving faster than your mouths can chew. 

Lucy’s covered in syrup by the time you’re all done with breakfast, face and hands sticky and you’re just thankful she didn’t get any in her hair. 

“I’ll take care of the dishes if you wanna go clean her up?”

You take your boyfriend up on the offer quickly. He knows doing dishes is your least favorite chore and you pull your sticky handed daughter out of her booster seat, careful to avoid her grip. “How do you always get so sticky, my little gremlin?”

“No mommy,” she tells you, going to grab for your face but you dodge her hands, laughing on your way to the bathroom. 

She doesn’t fight you as you wipe carefully at her chubby cheeks, lips blowing raspberries while you clean her up. “You’re so silly, my little monkey. Come on, let’s see if daddy’s finished the dishes.”

Once she’s on her own two feet, she takes off towards the kitchen and you’re slow to follow her. It seemed like only yesterday she was barely learning how to walk and now she’s running through the house at full speed, letting nothing get in her way. 

“So, what’s the plan for today? Or is there no plan and we’re just winging it?”

Santi’s finished loading the dishwasher when you find him, Lucy messing with the magnets towards the bottom of the refrigerator and trying to see how high she can get them as she jumps. 

There’s so much that needs to be done. Laundry was piling up in the mud room, the front and backyard both needed to be mowed, and the house was in desperate need of a full sweep and yet, there was no desire to do any of it. 

“Can we just sit on the couch and watch movies all day?” 

Lucy squeals below you, clapping. “Nemo!” She starts chanting, abandoning the magnets to hop into the living room, curls bouncing, and you sigh. It wasn’t exactly what you had in mind but you don’t have the heart to tell her no. 

Santi just shoots you an apologetic smile, pulling you into his chest and kissing the top of your forehead. “Maybe she’ll nap soon?”

“You two just woke up,” you remind him, poking him gently in the stomach. 

He just laughs, guiding you two into the living room where Lucy’s waiting patiently on the couch. 

“Come here munchkin,” Santi dives for her, easily picking her up and settling her in his lap once he’s comfortable on the couch. 

You settle on the loveseat by yourself, spreading yourself out on the cushions and pull up Finding Nemo on Disney+. 

It was the 3rd time in the last week you all had watched this particular movie. Lucy was going through a “fish phase” as Santi liked to call it, and it was easy for you to drift off, the noise familiar. 

An hour later, loud giggles fill your ears and you turn on the loveseat to see Lucy crawling over her father like a jungle gym, using his arms as a monkey bar and it puts a sleepy smile on your face as you watch the two of them. 

“Mommy’s awake,” Santi whispers loudly to Lucy once he spots your eyes cracking open and she squeals when she sees you.

“Hi baby. Sorry I fell asleep,” you tell her, turning around to sit up, rubbing at your tired eyes with a yawn.

“It’s okay mommy. Daddy says you woke up early and was tired,” she explains, sitting half on Santi’s shoulder and half on his back as he lays down across the couch. 

You hum quietly as the movie continues to play, checking the time to see it was only half past 12. Your eyes drift back towards your daughter and boyfriend, watching as Lucy starts to stroke the side of Santi’s head and looks at him curiously. 

“Daddy, you have paint on your hair,” she tells him, pointing at a thicker patch of gray that had become more prominent in the last couple of months.

Santi looks at you for help, clearly confused as to what she was talking about but you shrug, trying to hold back your grin.

“Paint on my hair?” He asks her. 

“Yeah, right there,” she points to the grays and a quiet giggle escapes your lips. Santi seems to understand then and huffs.

“No princesa, that’s gray hair.” 

“Gray hair?” She strokes the patch, tugging on it a little and Santi winces.

“Yeah, cause your daddy’s old.” 

Santi shoots you a death glare and Lucy just giggles above him, moving herself off his back and jumping on the empty cushion at the end of the couch by Santi’s feet.

“Daddy’s old, daddy’s old!”

“Luciana Rose Garcia, don’t be mean to your father,” you try to scold her but your tone is light and honestly the whole thing is just hilarious. Santi’s pouting as he watches his daughter chant about how old he is and you sit up, moving to place yourself in his lap and pull him into your chest.

“I think the gray is sexy,” you tell him quietly in his ear, tugging the hair at the back of his head.

“Mommy!” Lucy jumps towards you and places herself in your lap and it’s one big pile of limbs now on top of Santi once she’s settled in.

The movie’s over 20 minutes later and you’re thankful. Lucy’s eyes have started to droop as the movie ends and you heave a sigh of relief. 

“I’m gonna put her to bed but I’ll see you in the bedroom in 10?”

You slide off Santi’s lap, careful not to jostle your 4 year old too much until she’s situated against your chest and snoring softly against your shoulder.

He nods, looking up at you with clear admiration written across his face and you nudge his foot with yours. “See you in a sec, old man.”