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siryouarebeingmocked · 6 months

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Carter and Lovecraft, by Jonathan L. Howard (2015)

I really wanted to like this book.

I've read a few Lovecraft novels and stories, and I liked them. So when I saw this on my friend's bookshelf, I borrowed it, and read it.

Tried to.

The first real fly in the ointment? NYPD protag sees his partner take a 9mm retirement in front of him on a creepy case, and becomes a private detective. Mysterious lawyer shows up at his office one day and says there was a bookstore owner in Providence, Rhode Island, who has been missing and just declared dead.

The protag gets the bookshop. He's not sure why.

Protag goes to the bookshop. Owner's niece, Emily, is there. She's been running the shop alone since the owner vanished, and she co-ran it when he was alive. Also, she's biracial. Would be played by Zoe Kravitz in the movie, he thinks.

Her name is Lovecraft.

As in, she's a descendant of ol' Howard Philips.

She notes the irony; a black-ish "mulatto" descendant of an anti-black racist.

"Okay," I think, as I checked the publication date. "You've gotten that token bit out of the way. Now, can we move on?"

Apparently not.

As protag starts looking into the disappearance and other weird stuff, he decides he needs to get his eye in. So he goes to a gun range, where he needs to sign up for the NRA first

and ends the session by "re-engaging the safety" on his Glock.

Fun fact: stock Glocks don't have manual safeties, AFAIK.

In the next chapter, protag thinks about how he used the gun. He hates the NRA and the whole "gun fetish" thing, but he needs the iron, just in case.

Two strikes. Three if you count the safety thing.

Yes, I know an NYPD cop might be a bit bigoted about the issue, especially considering how his partner died. But it really feels like the writer's opinion.

In fact, let me just-

Yep. The writer is British. This sounds awfully familiar.

It was about this time that I realized something. The protagonist has no traits that aren't directly related to being a cop or detective. Absolutely none.

I don't think we know what he does in his off hours. No friends. Nothing but the job.

Heck, Miss Lovecraft has more personality than him, and she takes up a lot less screen time.

Protag decides to give Lovecraft half the business, so he can become a silent partner. People start dying in physically impossible ways - like the dude who drowned in his dry car in a parking lot - our hero looks into it.

He also ends up learning about a local family, the Waites. Rich, keep to themselves on their own land, been around since before the area was officially settled, apparently.

The local who tells him about all this says the younger ones are oddly attractive. The family has distinctive big eyes.

Anyone remotely familiar with HP Lovecraft just went "Oh, right, they're fishmen. Got it." I've seen this trope done better before, like in the comic Shadowgirls.

Hero looks into the archives, finds records of a racist Town Council rant by an early Waite, back when they were still into trading. Including slaves. Specifically, patriarch Newton Waite went to a council meeting and said black people should serve others, and shouldn't have self-determination.

The archivist intern says it's was "a different time", and that's just how people were back then.

Of course, he adds "People who talk like that now - no pass for them."

End scene.

Like this extremely mainstream, boring opinion is some kind of

In the next scene, protag chats about the fit he had near the Waite place. Learns about another mysterious death. When he chats about it with Emily, he suddenly realizes she's hot.

Then the narration tells us that he was a racist bigot in his teens, though he thought he was being sensible at the time. He now knows he was wrong, but he still feels sparks of it when he reads about some black kid doing some stereotypically black thing, which gives certain white people "a hard-on of righteousness".

And, of course, his time spent walking away from "instinctive racism" means his dating pool opened up. Like Emily Lovecraft, for example.

The most stereotypically black thing would probably be crime. Or being a single mom or deadbeat dad.

Sadly, I know of plenty of black people - from my black majority home country - who fall into one of those categories. Or two. Three if you include "poverty", but we're Developing, so that barely even counts.

Also, this basically came out of nowhere. Not Emily being hot - I mean, look at Zoe Kravitz - but his unsolicited thoughts on racism.

All of these issues have also been issues for many concerned black people. For decades. The 'stereotypically black things' might be bad themselves, not because they make racist white people feel smug.

This is precisely where I closed the book for good. I would've put away the bookmarks, but I needed the page so I could write this rant.

Honestly, writing all this made me realize that I should've given up long before I made it halfway through the book. But I just kept hoping it would get better.

Doing the same well-worn cliches in a modern setting doesn't really make them interesting. Neither do the little 'racism is bad, mmmkay?' bits.

#books #personal #lovecraft #long

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sucantslay · 6 months

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A little talk about Midori Takamine & Relax Paradise analysis.

It always Kanata this, Chiaki that, Shinobu those, Tetora there.

IT TIME FOR OUR LITTLE GREEN HERO, MIDORIIIII!

ES already have so many songs, so of course it won't be hard to find one that fits well with Midori, and that is what we have for today:

RELAX PARADISE!

Midori is this depressing and sometimes has enough to not give a sh*t with the people around him kinda character.

But that is not everything. I want you to understand that Midori is the one having the bravest change from the old era to now.

I mean, even if he accidentally gets into Yumenosaki or into RYUSEITAI, he's still a great character if you get a good look at him.

While all the other RYUSEITAI have this energetic energy, Midori just, not really that type of guy, even so, he's trying his very best to follow everyone in the Unit.

In the main story ( in game ) he does seem to be easy to annoy and would scold Chiaki most of the time for his "too much energetic" action, but in heart, we all know that he loves his RYUSEITAI fellow and scold them because he was worries that they might get into trouble.

Like, he is the reliable person in the room here!

In the anime, he leads in an introverted way but getting to the game, he was able to have a little growth, he still needs time, but he's becoming a better person for RYUSEITAI.

And I was so happy after all that time of Midori trying to follow the energy of other RYUSEITAI members, we got: "Relax Paradise"

Which is 100% a Midori song, and the vibe, the beat! OMG IT SOUND SO HAPPY!

After all that effort of him, now we got to see the RYUSEITAI enjoying themself in Midori world, as a sign of: "It ok! We got your back! You can be yourself whenever you're with us!"

The lyrics are so cute, like Midori lost in a sweet dream. The fact that he loves cute stuffed animals and mascot characters, especially odd-looking ones is showing all over the song.

Also, when you think of a jungle, you think of an adventure or some brutal journey to find treasure, but in this song, they just tell you to chill out.

Like, come here, we got the healing, don't need no worries, we're happy today!

The song also mention other RYUSEITAI and how Midori feels about being with them:

I love the line because it show us that the RYUSEITAI are also being included, NO BOYS GOT LEFT OUT!

Uhm, I have a feeling that these line aren't just talking about some mascot that have an odd-looking. We know he love them very much but this may or may not point to other RYUSEITAI members.

"Suddenly met" - "Character with a loose form"

He accidentally join RYUSEITAI, which is not in a very good condition at that moment.

He was jealous and questioning at what they've got, they maybe problematic but they're happy to let them be the hero they want to.

And the next line, he was talking about how they suddenly speak to him ( the odd-looking mascot ). It also about how all the other members just pull him in the conversation even if he trying to run away.

He thought he was more of a no body but suddenly gotten attention by a weird Unit.

And not just that, seeing his low self-esteem they didn't push him away but trying their best to give him the courage he need.

"Hey ~ you~" (Kanata line)

"Please don't be so depressed." (Shinobu line)

"Let just take it easy." (Kanata & Shinobu)

"If you really want to get out of stress town" (Tetora & Chiaki)

"Healing" (Kanata line)

"Finding" (Shinobu line)

"Let's have a relaxing adventure." (All)

"With you too!" (Midori line)

"Let's just relax!" (All)

And some of the next line is just Midori finally decided to chill the frick out. Understand that joining into is Unit was not so bad:

"It's okay to loose! (That nice!)" (All)

"It feels so warm and soft (Yeah!)"(All)

It feel warm and soft like he's hugging the mascot, but also is the warm and soft he feel for being together with the RYUSEITAI.

And the next line! OMG!!! He wishes to stay with them, is this so cute!!!

"Can you always" (Shinobu & Chiaki)

"Warm me up" (Kanata & Tetora)

"Hug me!" (All)

And he started to worries for them like his own family!!!

kahsnajapzzjsnsksksk *Mash key*

He started to open his eyes about the world outside, and learn that it was not so bad to relax and not trying to overthink and accidentally turn every little thing into his enemies:

Then, he came with the conclusion that, even if there are weird people in this world, they're nothing evil at all:

"The jungle where love is gathers, is connected to all kinds of people..." (Midori line)

Then, the mascots once again, talk to him:

"Hey, you really are special" (Shinobi line)

"Come on and tell me" (Chiaki line)

Midori find himself in them, relied on them, trusted them,as they gave him the courage to continue this journey to paradise:

"Yes I can't tell you when was that" (Kanata line)

"Deep in my chest" (Tetora line)

"Give me the courage" (Midori line)

"One day we met and said "I love you!"" (All)

Knowing that Midori usually shy when talking about his truth feeling, it just showing how much he love RYUSEITAI but don't really want to say it out loud.

And the ending are just Midori found his own place in RYUSEITAI and becoming a braver person for them and for he himself.

Like, there a ninja? An fish like person? and a hero...? Don't be silly. But after accompany them for long enough, he was like: "Frick that! I love everyone here!"

Also, a funny thing about his "I don't really care". Because in game, Midori goes for that "I don't have a sh*t" way of don't really care, BUT did you know that he's first time he set himself free and not to overthink is when he was so panic he just decided to "SCREW ALL OF THIS!"

That it for today! Happy RYUSEITAI trip! ( They all happily come home to me ) Mehehe, lucky ~

#ensemble stars #ryuseitai enstars #takamine midori #midori takamine #Relax paradise analysis

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hero-deserves-to-be-happy · 1 year

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Meet the Cast of "When Sun Shines Again" [Hero's Life After Mari]⛅: Zoey Park (OMORI OC)

(Mod Sprinkles’ Style Above & Left; Mod Acacia’s Attempt at OMORI style right)

Zoey Park

ZOEY is a spunky aspiring civil engineer who has always dreamed of building bridges. She’s intelligent, hard-working, independent, honest, and resourceful with a quick wit and snarky sense of humor and a real knack for problem-solving and thinking outside the box. Though she can be a little rough around the edges at times, she is a truly kindhearted person who has a strong intuition and is incredibly loyal to her family and friends.

Birthday: May 17th

Likes: Tea, The Cranberries, Running, Engineering, Old Movies, Snarky Humor, Her Family, & Rainy Days

Dislikes: Parties, Stupid People, Her Sister’s Slew of Terrible Boyfriends, & Shrimp

Fun facts and a bonus Sunny doodle below the cut!

⛅You can read about Zoey and all of Hero's college friends in the "When Sun Shines Again" series. She features prominently in the prequel "Am I Ready For Love? Or Maybe Just A Best Friend."

Zoey is the oldest of the three children in her family though she is only older than her fraternal twin sister, Lorraine, by 3 minutes. Her brother, Jared, is four years younger than her.

Since her father was in the U.S. Navy, she moved around a lot especially as a kid. She had lived in 5 different countries by the time she was 10 (United States, Italy, Greece, Spain, and United Kingdom, in that order). When her father became an admiral, her family settled near the Navy Base in Seaport, the closest coastal town to Faraway Town, when she was in High School and has stayed there for the time being.

While her sister Lorraine was playing with dolls, she was building bridges out of blocks and tinker toys and dreaming of becoming a civil engineer in the future. Her dream university has always been the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), but she gave it up to follow her sister to the University of Somewhere City: hoping to look out for her and keep her out of too much trouble.

Zoey was always academically gifted and was the Salutatorian of her high school graduating class after a heated rivalry for the Valedictorian spot ended in her defeat by half a percentage point.

Zoey can really take or leave most people, but she is fiercely loyal to her people (her family and the friends she has chosen). She and Hero’s friend, Kyle, have been best friends since high school having met when she tutored him in Chemistry and Math. At first, she thought he was just a shameless flirt and a shallow rich boy who didn’t apply himself, but they eventually connected over feeling a little lost in the shadows of their siblings (with Kyle feeling like the “dumb brother” compared to his overachieving older brothers and Zoey as the “weird sister” compared to the bubbly, popular, and universally loved Lorraine). By the time they’re in college, they’re practically siblings to each other, and though Kyle annoys her by calling her “Zuzu,” he swears she’s the first real friend he’s ever had.

Her favorite band is The Cranberries. In high school, she actually had a pixie cut inspired by the lead singer, but her hair has since grown out. She still keeps it cropped relatively short though.

Zoey isn’t much of a partier and prefers to spend most of her evenings studying with a warm cup of tea. Recently, her roommate, Tamra, a music education major, has gotten her hooked on listening to classical music while studying as well.

She, somewhat begrudgingly, joined the Triple E [Epsilon Epsilon Epsilon] sorority only because Lorraine demanded they also take her sister otherwise she wouldn’t join herself. Eventually the other girls warmed up to her because she took care of them when they were nursing hangovers, and she was quickly deemed their “mom friend.”

Her favorite flower is the red amaryllis. She loves the color but also its symbolism of strength and determination and the fact that the same bulb can bloom multiple times if given proper care. Her mother is an avid gardener who always plants amaryllises for her.

Though she is a self-proclaimed “realist” who doesn’t care much for romances, she does allow her sister, Lorraine, to drag her to see most of the latest romantic comedies at the movie theater. Occasionally, she finds one she really enjoys. Her favorite is “Return To Me” which she saw in theaters 3 times because she considered it so sincere and it reminded her of the classic black-and-white films she loves.

Zoey’s favorite color is red, but she never wears it because it clashes too much with her hair. She does have a red umbrella that she got as a Christmas gift from her parents that she uses often on her much loved rainy days.

A/N: Her name means “life” (which may or may not be a bit of an intentional pun on our part)

Bonus: Sunny is a big fan of Zoey's and thinks she’s spunky and very nice. Zoey is his favorite of all of Hero’s college friends besides Kyle (but only because he once gave Sunny “the greatest gift [he] had ever received”) 😊

#when sun shines again⛅#omori oc #omori oc: zoey #omori oc art #omori aus #our content

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quirkthieves · 6 months

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tentative restructuring for setsuna's background/family life

Setsuna has lived her entire life with high expectations; her mostly human appearance (especially once her larval tail fell off) gave her father hope that she'd be able to move further in life than his family had, and that she would escape the general anti-heteromorph sentiment of the world, especially living in the city. He sees her as the "future" or "representative" of their family-- and thus, anything she does reflects back on them, and so she needs to carry herself appropriately so as not to embarrass him, who has spent so long trying to escape the rural "hick" lifestyle of his family. Sometimes her cousin Shuichi would be spent to stay with them to try and fix his shut-in nature by getting him away from the bullying in their town, and she'd usually respond to this by trying to "push him out of his shell" with teasing he didn't take as lightly as she did, being condescending, or ignoring him outright, because she didn't really know what to do about him, and viewed him very much in the same vein as being a failure, even though he was older-- he was cringe. She thought he was cringe. Even him running away was met with relative indifference-- it was too far away for her to really feel the impact, and they had never gotten along.

Shinju, her mother, was a U.A graduate who became a sidekick, but couldn't make it far and ended up becoming a housewife instead. Upon the revelation that Setsuna's quirk was an even more advanced version of her own, she began heavily steering Setsuna towards the life of heroic prestige-- especially because Setsuna would have needed to be enrolled in intensive quirk training from a young age because of how her quirk could pose a danger to herself if not controlled well. (For example, a child not understanding her limits, or tearing open the serous covering that keeps blood and organs in place) She sort of subconsciously sees this as her chance to live vicariously through her daughter.

Conversely, she's pretty spoiled; anything she wants is hers for the taking, because cultivating strong self-confidence is vital to make it in the hero world. Making sure she lives well is the goal of any good parent, especially those with such high expectations. She also wasn't ever really expected to take on household duties-- especially cooking, because body parts ended up in the mix more than a few times. RIP.

And as a result of that among other factors, like her quirk, Setsuna's treatment of others can be pretty calloused. As someone who doesn't feel a lot of pain, and has a pretty "detached" personality, she doesn't always understand the fact that other people may take things a lot more seriously than she does, and social incentive and enabling of a pecking order means she was fine putting herself at the top of it-- it was just another success she was entitled to. She really hasn't "learned her lesson", per se, it's just that U.A. doesn't cultivate that environment-- and she's not a cruel person, so she doesn't see a need to seek it out.

As she started in her teen years, she began pushing more and more for her individuality and freedom, hence her foray into the Gyaru subculture, which is very much seen as a "rich kid rebellion" type of thing. Dying hair, getting piercings, wearing flashy clothing, sneaking out, etc... all of those were her way of pushing back at the standards set by her family, and a way for her to indulge herself. Despite this, she did still want to be a hero, so her diligence in school never dropped.

Her parents were pretty disappointed and even upset with her "delinquency", and still are-- but they were ecstatic when she decided to "clean up" for U.A., like returning to her natural hair color, changing her wardrobe, etc. That being said, during those years, tensions in the Tokage house could run pretty high-- both of her parents have rather intense tempers, and both of them saw it as a personal attack on their family's values. There were more than a few screaming matches, and Setsuna even took to using her quirk as a weapon in arguments, like doing things like "spilling her guts" or escaping a grip or conversation by dropping a limb and running out. As time went on, Setsuna became more and more indifferent to the arguing and their opinions, and more often than not will just leave if confronted on anything, or stand there with a bored expression until it's over. Punishment isn't always enforced heavily outside of the immediate explosion of anger, so grounding or confiscated privileges mean nothing-- either she'd steal it back, or sneak out anyway.

Even with that, though, they still love each other very much. They just don't know how to communicate anymore, and so talks or time together have whittled away into interrogations about where her progress is or a chiding about reckless behavior, which Setsuna ignores because she's in her "I'm young, I'm fantastic, and I'm never gonna die" phase. She hasn't ever really had to confront loss before, so when Majestic and Midnight die, it shakes her up more than a little bit.

#I CAN'T SURRENDER://SETSUNA MAIN VERSE #CHILDISH MATHEMATICA://SETSUNA HC

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bartfargo · 9 months

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War-on-Christmas Movies

The right wing's second-favorite war (after any war that actually involves sending other people's children to die) has got to be the "war on Christmas." This totally made-up war dominates right-wing media every year. And why not? What could be easier than telling gullible schmucks that there's a sinister plot to take away a major holiday (and throwing in as many antisemitic dog whistles as you can carry)? In fact, so successful has this formula been that they've actually gotten four movies made about it - which means that people have driven past dozens of Nativity displays, on their way to see movies that claim that there's an evil plot to put an end to Christmas.

Presented in chronological order, since I don't know how to rank crap:

Christmas with a Capital C (2010)

Ted McGinley is the mayor of a small town in Alaska, who takes umbrage when a judge tells him that he will have to allow townspeople who aren't Christian to put up displays next to his Nativity scene if he wants to put the thing up on town property. Brad Stine is the mayor's brother (no known other occupation), who has a Three Mile Island-level meltdown when a barista wishes him Happy Holidays. Daniel Baldwin is a local boy who became a big-city lawyer, who runs for mayor on the platform of respecting all faiths. It's a PureFlix movie, so the first two are treated like heroes even though they aren't, and the last one is treated like the villain even though he isn't doing anything wrong.

All these movies have parts where they say the quiet part out loud: Here, one such part occurs in the aforementioned coffee shop rant, where the designated hero kicks things off by saying "There's only one holiday that makes me happy." Later, when the other designated hero sees a local business put up a Happy Holidays sign, and the owner says "It's better for everybody," he replies, "It's not better for me." At the end of the day, these guys worship themselves.

Last Ounce of Courage (2012)

This film follows small-town mayor/pharmacist Bob Revere (because fuck subtlety) and his visiting grandson, Christian (because fuck subtlety with a garden hose), as they hatch a two-pronged scheme to bring Christmas back to the community. Bob's end involves putting up a Christmas tree in the town square (because who does that anymore, amirite?) and a cross back on a mission (because yeah, that totally happens). Christian's strategy involves taking over the school's Holiday Pageant, changing its plot of aliens coming to pay tribute to a newborn king back to the Biblical story (because, if they just used a secular story like A Christmas Carol, and Christian got butthurt over them not mentioning Jesus enough for his liking, he'd look like the asshole he is). Along the way, they run up against some guy who's supposed to be intimidating for some reason, and Christian decides to cap off the pageant with a snuff film (I'm not making that up).

Saying the quiet part out loud: When Christian greets Bob with a handshake straight out of Flip Wilson, Bob asks, "That's not an LA gang handshake, is it?" (And the movie shows Bob patching up a white biker gang member who had a gunshot wound, so it's not the possibility of him being mixed up in a crime that concerns him.) Later, he gives his best friend a death glare for busting out a rap version of "We Three Kings." Clearly, when the Reveres sing "I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas," they're not talking about the weather. Also, a female news anchor walks off the job, so she can spend Christmas with her family.

Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas (2014)

Kirk Cameron plays himself (an uninformed, egotistical twit), and director Darren Doane plays his brother-in-law, Christian White (I'll take What Kirk Cameron Thinks Everyone Should Be for $600). Christian worries that the real meaning of Christmas has been lost, and Captain Crocoduck throws him a line of bullshit to reassure him that it's all really still about Jesus (for example, Jesus had a material body, so it's right to celebrate with material things).

Saying the quiet part out loud: Cameron takes the apocryphal story of St. Nicholas slapping a cleric for doubting the divinity of Christ, and ramps it up, turning it into a story where St. Nick beats the man to death. This, he tells us, is "the defender of the faith you want to be."

A Madea Christmas (2015)

Madea and her niece go to the small town (yes, another one) of Buck Tussle, Alabama (or something like that), to visit the niece's estranged daughter. Along the way, they meet her secret husband (a white man), the in-laws (Kathy Najimy and Larry The Cable Guy), Madea abuses a child, and assorted other shenanigans. So, what makes this a War-on-Christmas movie? It seems that Poop Weasel has been suffering since a nebulous business built a dam, cutting off water to the town, and jeopardizing the town's Christmas Jubilee. The daughter's ex (who accompanied Madea and her niece) offers to fund the Jubilee, and the mayor readily agrees. Later, after signing the agreement, he reads it, and discovers that 1) the ex is the CEO of the company that built the dam, and 2) as a condition of the agreement, the celebration is to be called the Holiday Jubilee, with no mention of Christmas or Jesus allowed.

Saying the quiet part out loud: En route to Dingle Berry, Madea has to stop and use a restroom. Asking at a gas station, she is directed to a nearby building. She walks in, and finds a Ku Klux Klan meeting in progress. She hightails it out of there, and a Klansman looks after her like he isn't sure what's going on. Later, after learning that the daughter is married to a white man, the niece flies off the handle, telling her a story she's apparently heard many times, of the niece's husband being killed by a white man. This time, however, Madea interrupts, saying that the niece's husband isn't dead, but simply left her for a white woman, and she knows it. You tell me what it means when a filmmaker depicts the KKK better than a black woman.

So that's it; that's how many War-on-Christmas movies there are, and what they are like. They stopped making movies like this. Of course, instead, they now make Hallmark/Lifetime Christmas movies, where either the heroine gives up her career for life with some guy back home, or the hero decides to dump the woman he's been seeing for years for someone he just met, because the woman he's known for years thinks of home and family as something she can have along with a career, when that's his job.

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zer0expektation · 2 years

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sometimes i think of an interesting fic concept for a fandom other than this one and think to myself, “gee, this is such a good and obvious concept, surely theres fics like this out there” or “ooh, this piece of media had enough dark elements, surely there has to be some good grimdark aus somewhere” and then i open ao3 and am forcibly reminded of the fact that the dream smp is the only fandom that isn’t obsessed with slash fics and i just have to wallow in the lack of nice content and my own inability to write (and, lets be honest here, commitment to most fandoms outside of the dsmp atm)

like genuinely, i dont think i can name a single fandom outside of the dream smp that has such a wide array of found family/friendship centered fics

stranger things? its all steddie or byler (as much as i love the both), etc.

my hero? its all bakudeku or tododeku or shindeku or literally everyone with deku.

detroit become human? its all hank and connor or connor and gavin or gavin and nines or markus and simon, etc.

our flag means death? its all co-captains (as much as i adore them as well) or steddy hands, etc.

the mcu? its all stucky or stony (or incest or selfcest lmao), etc.

sander sides? its all prinxiety or analogical or moralogical or lamp or lampd or whatever the new lamp plus janus and remus ship name is (yes more selfcest), etc.

gotham tv? its all nygmobblepot or jim and oswald or bruce and jeremiah (which i have so many questions about, but that is not the point of this post lmao)

etc etc

and i genuinely think its to a lot of these fandom’s detriments that everything has to be centered around a ship no matter what (esp mcu spiderman, pleASE GOD JUST GIVE ME GOOD POST NWH PETER PARKER ANGST THE CLOSEST THING IVE GOTTEN IS FUCKING SPIDERMAN!TOMMYINNIT AUS DO YOU SEE MY PROBLEM) because it really stops fandoms and fan-creators from really exploring the platonic and familial relationships between these characters and that exploration being in the main spotlight.

like sure, steddie is great, but i would love to read a big fic that is all about Steve and Robin moving away from hawkins together and navigating the city and sharing an apartment together and losing their shared jobs every week and continue to explore and establish new boundries and systems with each other and learning things the other never thought were important but brings such important insight into the other that they need to understand each other even better.

bylers cool, but i also want to read about will and el finally getting to meet each other and know each other and realise theyre so much more alike than they originally thought, never quite being seen as people, as the kids they are, but instead as these cool beacons of their friends’ efforts against the upside down and the government, and them becoming siblings, becoming the wonder twins, i want to see will trying to teach el how to draw, and el showing will all of her favorite tv shows, and the two becoming so intertwined that they know every preference the other has and how they can support each other through public school of a foreign town.

sure, bakudeku or tododeku’s okay, but i want to read a fic all about izuku growing up quirkless and what that means for his relationships and how much closer he is with his mom than other kids his age and how deep his mistrust of any other adults runs and what that means for how he acts once he finally gets to ua and how he sees all might as a surrogate father in place of the man that left him and his mother for the states and how that and his god worship of the man affects how he treats one for all and how he makes his decisions and how he prioritizes what all might tells him over what is actually good for him.

hank and connor is.. something, but why cant we read about how hank sees his son in connor and how it affects him to watch connor make these self destructive decisions in order to prioritize human life and his instructions over himself, and maybe about hank attempting to scare connor into deviancy, into some kind of self preservation, so that the poor thing can at least make a decision for himself and prioritize himself, and not die.

i love the co-captains as much as the next guy, but i want to read about how stede came across his crew, how he came to find out they like the children’s stories that he only held onto to remind him of his children, how he looked at lucius and saw himself in him, how lucius somehow managed to grab hold of every trait stede was bullied for, that was trained out of him, and emphases them and make them into a special kind of armor, and how stede takes lucius under his wing just to watch over him so that the boy will have someone on his side when he inevitably trips in his dance past (lets face it flirts and insults through) every hurtle that caught the heel of young stede’s shoe. how stede now will look up at that painting of a lighthouse and wonder if the problem wasnt that he wasnt a lighthouse, just that he hadn’t found the shore yet, and now maybe he has.

Do you see what I mean? How many fics are there that are like this that you can name off the top of your head? very few i imagine.

on top of this a lot of fandoms, because of their lack of exploration of non romantic relationships within their media dont only miss out on the sweet or bittersweet but the all fascinating grimdark aus that may spawn out of taking an absolute ship-less lens on the media you consume, i mean, the only fandom i can find any good or nuanced grimdark forced family fics in is, again, the dream smp.

and this has happened multiple times, where im watching something and i cant help but imagine how good a ctrinity style grimdark forced family au fic would be with these characters with these dynamics, btw.

(cw for all of the fun stuff that comes with forced family like kidnapping and implied abuse and characters overall being miserable lol - its not important to read, its just examples of dark aus im talking ab, just scroll to “etcetcetc” to skip past all that stuffs)

multiverse of madness, where instead of wanda trying to get to america and killing her in an attempt of getting her to make a portal to a universe where wanda’s boys exist going as far as it does, america offers herself up as her surrogate daughter and bringing the both of them through to them and living a normal life as a family in exchange for wanda to stop tearing places and people apart in this universe and others and for America’s life to be spared. and so she brings them both to a world with wanda’s boys, and wanda is just so so blinded by her own excitement and joy. she discards of that world’s wanda quickly, careful to ensure the boys were still asleep. then weeks, months maybe, go by and the boys start having nightmares but wont tell her why, what the nightmares are about, instead they wait until the door is closed and wanda’s down the hall to murmur in hushed tones about what they saw. (”shes not mommy, is she? mommy doesnt act like that. where did mommy go?”). america tries to pretend everythings fine and that theres nothing wrong with this twisted family dynamic wanda’s built up, but she cant truly hide its affect on her, the bags under her eyes are heavy and her fingers are always twitching, she flinches when wanda gestures with her arms to wildly and freezes when one of the boys accidentally breaks a glass. wanda doesnt stop using the darkhold. she could stop using whenever she wanted to, is what she tells herself, but she just needs to ensure no one is going to show up and take her boys away from her, she has to make sure america remains by her side, she has to make sure nothing goes wrong again. she can stop whenever she wants to, the thing is, she doesnt want to stop.

gotham tv (s4), where ra’s successfully kidnapps bruce and takes him and jeremiah under his wing, trying to raise them both to be like him, maybe barbra gets kidnapped aswell. ra’s wants them to act like a family, him as the father, barbra as the mom, and bruce, jeremiah, and talia as their children. at first this is all jeremiah could ask for. hes close with bruce, his need for simultaneous creation and destruction. a brother he didnt hate, and a present father. at first bruce is all angered yelling and venomous insults and scathing sarcasm. he comments on wanting to go home at every opportunity that presents itself, how he preferred alfreds cooking, he liked jim’s stories better, selina taught him cooler things, some days hed even complain about missing the criminals of gotham in an attempt to emphasis just how much he does not want to be here, no matter how cushy the bedding is or how nice the locals. at first all barbra does is attempt to kill, or at the very least injure, ra’s. some days its a steak knife to the gut, some a fountain pen to the face. ra’s is fine every time. hammer to temple. she doesnt buy time for herself, nor bruce. rope around the neck. she cant even injure him in any long term way. boiled water down the front. for a long time talia is jealous of the attention her father gives bruce and jeremiah. he spends long days trying to train the two in tandem, showing them how to protect themselves and how to injure others, how to tell the differences between the dead languages and how to read the basics, how to earn the trust of others and force them to fall into the trap of owing you favors. that is until she discovers how they all ended up here. shes left wondering if her father truly has the right of the world at heart, if she has to respect him and his decisions just because she is his only true daughter. jeremiah isnt having fun anymore. bruce has gone completely silent now. barbra has long since been subdued and doesnt even try to fight anymore. but talia stays quiet, even as the first time she hears bruces voice in months is when he yelps and tries to cover his face from being struck again, even as jeremiah mumbles to himself about someone named jerome, even as barbra spends her time staring whistfully into a bird bath when shes not cleaning or sitting pretty. (she tells talia, one quiet evening - a break from ra’s training bruce and jeremiah until they break, instead they’re allowed to curl up in a corner together and try to decipher books written in hundreds of dead languages - how she’d been engaged once. she wasnt happy, but she loved him nonetheless. she told her that she wondered sometimes how she would have turned out if she hadn’t left, if they got married. would’ve one of them left the other eventually anyways? would she have still ended up here? talia wishes she didnt talk to her, if only because it made staying quiet and continuing to live her life as a bystander harder.)

etcetcetc

unfortunately though, the dream smp (as far as ive seen) is the only fandom that explores family relationships and friendships so thoroughly and then delves deeper into more dark and upsetting aus (ive already said it once, but c!trinity!!) without there being a worry about weird romantic or sexual implications or plot points (which i partially blame killing stalking for the existence of - kidnappers arent hot pleeaaase)

some dsmp fics that i cant imagine being nearly as well done - or created at all - if they were written for different fandoms (all on ao3):

the dead dont dream by penink - ctommy dies during exile, multiple times actually, and dream thinks this is the perfect opportunity to test out the revive book

withered by ThatWeirdGuyInTheBush - Manburg is a real country in a world based on the 1940s, and ctubbo decides hes willing to do something drastic for the good of his country

guided evolution by fathermooshroom - ctommyinnit becomes spiderman, unfortunately being spiderman comes with all of the issues of being spiderman and having a secret identity (i cried uncontrollably multiple times dont let the beginning trick you)

If You Need Somewhere Safe by random_on_main - when ctommy finally escapes logstedshire he takes sam up on his offer of giving him a place to stay rather than hiding in techno’s basement

passerine by thcscus (blujamas) - everyones favorite legendary ctechnoblade gives a visit to an old friend and comes to find out hes a king and has two sons

tommyinnit’s clinic for supervillains by bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti) - tommyinnit is seriously just trying to get through life and happens upon a supervillain passed out and bleeding out in an alleyway on his way home from work one night

cataclysm by thanotaphobia - phil and techno finally conquer the country they’d been at war with for the past several years, but when they discover the lone king to the country is a teenage boy they take him as prisoner rather than killing him

the world forgetting by the world forgot by bonesandthebees (bonesandthecacti) - ctommy has forgotten his entire life, all he knows is that villains kiddnapped and used him for his healing powers, and the superhero dream took him in after rescuing him and allowed him to become his sidekick

its now 5 am, i only made this because i was thinking about that one video of someone talking about how weird it was that the top two relationship tags according to the stats ao3 released where gen (wilbur&tommy and wilbur&techno&tommy) and basically making it obvious they only thought the only reason you would write or read fanfiction would be for ships and slash fics and just,, how sad that is, because this fandom has some of the best fics ive read without even considering putting any romance in the spotlight and i think its far more fulfilling to be able to read fanfiction for the sake of a good story rather than getting to see two characters kiss (which is not to say reading fanfiction to see two character kiss isnt exactly what you need sometimes, im just saying theres more out there to love), and also because i was frustrated by the fact that nothing interesting looking came up when i looked up the tags ‘post series: no way home’ and ‘homeless peter parker’ lmao. if yall have any good post nwh angst pls pls pls send it my way, i need desperately to cry over a character that is not tommyinnit please. im gonna crash now, sorry if this long this is shit - its wayy too fucking early.

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peterpparkerwrites · 3 years

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sweatshirt

a/n: hello all! forgive me for taking so long for posting my fics on here again, I’m getting used to the changes tumblr has had since I was last on here, lol. I won’t be posting all of my fics on here, but all of my popular ones or ones I like will definitely be reposted here. any that aren’t here are on my wattpad. my page and masterlist are in the works right now so this post will be edited when my masterlist is up and running, but I did want to get at least one fic out there! x j warnings: mentions of a break-up, undoubtedly some good ol’ swearing, nothing else! pairing: peter parker x reader word count: 2.9k

masterlist ~ requests are closed

Sitting atop a building that had become familiar to him in the last four months, his hands freezing despite the built-in heater that Tony had created in his suit, all he wanted was to shove his hands in pockets or mittens because God, New York was so cold this winter.

It wasn't snowing, not yet, but it would probably be within the next few hours. Everyone walking about below him was bundled up, making him think that maybe next time he would wear that Spider-Man sweater Ned had given him as a joke, over his suit. After all, heroes had to stay warm too, didn't they?

He shifted slightly on the ledge, trying to remain a bit hidden but also stay out enough so he could watch the front door of the apartment building across from him. For the last couple months he had kept up this routine, at eight pm every night. He felt ridiculous about it, but it wasn't like he could stop himself from pausing his rounds to sit on this ledge and wait. He never had that kind of self-control.

Right on cue, you came out into the open, your apartment door slamming as you rushed to lock it behind you. Peter felt relief, and the usual stab of pain in his gut, when he saw you shove a hat over your head and glare at the sky. He chuckled lightly at your expression, knowing how much you hated the cold, but loved the snow - ironically.

As you began walking down the street, pulling on mittens and biting your lip in concentration as you struggled to get them on your freezing fingers, he stood up and followed, rubbing his hands together for a bit of warmth.

He swore to himself every night it wasn't creepy that he followed you. Okay, maybe a little, but he couldn't help it. You worked a night shift at a local 24-hour cafe, something he protested against when you two were dating, and he didn't like the idea of it any more now.

Peter just wanted to make sure you were safe. He was doing his job - you were a citizen, he was the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, it would be messed up if he didn't make sure you got to work safely.

His eyes were on you as you finally got your gloves on, shifting your purse and walking with a bit of a quicker pace. He remembered how paranoid you got about walking alone, and he knew you had a right to be - how many people had he saved from muggings in random alley ways?

It had been four months since you ended things, but it still made his heart hurt to see you. He didn't see you any other time, because when you left, you had no reason to visit his side of Queens. You went to a college in a different borough, and you only lived and worked here. Peter lived on the other side of town.

Maybe, he always thought, that was why you waited until graduation to break up. He knew he was hurting you by always skipping dates, or being extremely late, or not telling you the reasons for his tiredness and bruises. If you had dumped him while you were still seniors, you still would've had to see each other every day.

He hated himself for doing that to you, but ever since May and Ned found out about Spider-Man, his life had gotten so much more complicated. He realized things that he hadn't considered before - they were in danger now because of him. They had knowledge of who Spider-Man was, and if that ever got out, it could get them hurt, or worse. He couldn't take back the fact that they knew, but hell if he wouldn't try to keep it from you. You were such an important person in his life, and if endangered you for something like this, he would never forgive himself.

When you turned a corner, he shot a web at the adjacent building and swung off, following. He didn't mind if anyone else saw him, but he would rather not have you see him. Of course, you didn't know it was him, but he also didn't want to freak you out if you realized Spider-Man had been stalking you for the last few months.

He landed on the side of the building, climbing up easily and perching on the ledge, watching with relief as you made it into your cafe, the sound of the bell ringing reaching his ears, something that he never would've been able to hear had it happened prior to the spider bite.

Waiting a few seconds before he hopped off the building, he knew you would be safe while he did the rest of his rounds before returning back here to see you home safely.

It was two am when your shift ended (Peter had no idea why you decided to take that time, since you loved sleeping early) and he was waiting once again on a building rooftop where he could see you clearly.

This time, he noticed what you were wearing, and his chest tightened when he noticed the familiar grey sweatshirt that was a bit too big, rolled up once at the sleeves and hanging loosely over your work uniform. His breath caught when you shoved your hands into the pockets, a small smile on your face before you continued on your way home.

You still wore his sweatshirt. It was his favourite on you - in fact, he had given it to you to keep, even though he liked it so much, just because you loved it more. Seeing you in that piece of his clothing was the final breaking point for him.

Before he knew what he was doing, he dropped down in front of you, making you jump back a bit. His brain screamed at him to stop before he did something stupid, but you relaxed with a sigh, a small smile on your lips when you realized who it was.

"I was wondering when you were gonna approach me," you laughed lightly, causing him to frown behind the mask. His head tilted to the side slightly.

"What?" He asked, not bothering to cover up his voice at all. He didn't think that you might recognize it, and if you did, he wasn't sure he cared anymore. He just needed to talk to you before he went crazy.

"You've been following me," you said flatly, your voice not carrying any hint of accusation or fear or anger like he might've expected. His eyebrows raised in shock, his thoughts jumbled as he tried to form a sentence, or an excuse, anything.

"Whaaaaat?" He asked, laughing lightly, "Ma'am, I think you're mistaken-"

"I'm not stupid," you ran a hand through your hair, and he realized you didn't have the hat this time. "I've seen you, you aren't as stealthy as you think."

"Oh," he scratched the back of his neck, not sure what to say. He thought he had been pretty good about not being seen, but he should've known you would realize, since you were pretty perceptive that way.

"What made you decide to drop down and finally say hey?" You questioned teasingly. Peter was surprised he hadn't broken down yet - he hadn't been this close to you, or talked to you in so long, it was causing his head to start hurting.

"I-I um, thought I'd, offer to walk you home. It's pretty late."

You bit your lip, "I'd like that. Thanks."

"Of course, it's kinda my job," he gained a bit more confidence, grinning when you chuckled and rolled your eyes, walking next to him.

"Your job, huh? Does someone pay you?" You asked, making him laugh and shake his head.

"Nope," he sighed, "I get paid in churros sometimes, though."

You gave him a weird look, making him laugh again, "Helped an old lady with directions, she bought me a churro. Pretty good pay if you ask me."

You snickered, "Spider-Man's got a sweet tooth. Who knew."

He shrugged, "Who doesn't have a sweet tooth?"

"Touché," you crossed your arms, trying to get more warm, even though your ex-boyfriends sweatshirt was comfy.

In all honesty, you don't know why you still had it, much less why you still wore it. It certainly didn't help you move on, and since you ended things in the first place, it wasn't right of you to keep it. But you missed Peter so much, especially on cold days like this, and this sweater was one of the last things you had to remind you of him.

"You alright?" The soft voice broke you out of your thoughts, and you glanced at Spider-Man's mask.

"Hm, yeah," you answered, "Just had a long shift, and I zone out sometimes."

"How come you chose a night shift?" He asked curiously, which caused you to eye him, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Um, it was just more convenient. I go to school, when I get back I do my homework, and then I go to work. It's a good system."

"Yeah, good except that you walk alone at the worst possible times," he pointed out, making you shake your head.

"You sound like my ex," you rolled your eyes, not seeing him tense. "But I can handle myself. Plus, I heard there's this superhero guy that watches out for Queens."

You said the last part teasingly, making him laugh despite your earlier sentence. Now it was his turn to roll his eyes at you.

For the rest of the walk, you noticed things about Spider-Man that reminded you way too much of Peter. Enough to make it more than just a coincidence that he scratched his neck the same way, or moved his hands in gestures just like your ex did. The thing that really gave it away was his voice, because even though you hadn't heard it in months, the more the hero talked, the more you became sure it was him.

When you reached the door to your apartment, your heart was racing. You missed Peter so much and never felt enough closure with the break-up, and if this was really him, you might have answers to the unanswered questions. And maybe you wanted to see his face again, even if you would break down later because of it.

"Night, Peter," you said softly, eyeing him to see if he would catch what you just said.

"Night, Y/N," he said back quietly, and you could hear the small smile in his voice. Your chest tightened when he responded, confirming your suspicions.

You stared at him, waiting for him to catch on. Even though he was a genius, the boy could be kinda dense sometimes.

"Oh shit," he finally blurted, making you want to burst into laughter, but you managed to keep a straight face.

"You've never been very good at keeping secrets," you said quietly, a sad smile on your lips.

He carefully pulled his mask off, since no one in their right mind was up and around you two right now. Your breath caught when you saw his face for the first time in so long - the brown eyes you would always get lost in, the curls you used to love to run your fingers through. His slightly chapped lips that reminded you of memories too painful to think about. Of course, you noticed the other things - the bags under his eyes and the bruise on his cheeks, things that drove you crazy not to know the cause of.

And now you did.

"Y/N," his lips formed around you name as though it held such importance, and you shut your eyes for a moment and took a breath. He didn't say anything else, so you decided to talk.

"Peter," you replied after a moment of silence, meeting his gaze again, "Why have you been keeping an eye on me for four months?"

"You know why," he said instantly, making you bite your lip.

"Why didn't you just tell me you were Spider-Man?" This time you said it in a whisper, even though no one was around. The idea that he didn't trust you with this secret hurt, and it felt like your heart was breaking all over again.

He hesitated, fiddling with his fingers and biting his lip, avoiding your sharp gaze. "You know I couldn't let anything happen to you, Y/N. If you were kept in the dark, it would be safer."

You scoffed, making him meet your eyes again. "That is the lamest thing I've ever heard."

He knit his eyebrows, "Your safety is the most important-"

"Peter," you interrupted, "Me knowing you were Spider-Man would have made me more safe. If I was in danger, I could have called you-"

"But people could have found out!" He interrupted you this time, running a hand through his hair and tugging at the strands a bit, his voice cracking once from the stress of the conversation. "If you knew, and someone knew that you knew, they could've hurt you to get to me, to find out my secret. I didn't want to tell anyone for this exact reason, especially not you. Sweetheart, if anything happened to you, I don't know what I would do with myself."

You stared at him for a moment, your eyes a bit wide at his outburst. The last time you saw him get this emotional was when you left, and the memory caused your fists to tighten, hating yourself more for doing that to him.

"You still have that sweatshirt," he pointed out, desperate to change the subject, even though he wasn't getting far from the topic. He said it before he could realize how dumb it was to, but luckily you didn't seem upset by it.

"It's a really comfy sweater," you said with a shaky laugh, easing the tension only a bit, "But...that's not why I kept it."

His eyes met yours, which had started tearing up a bit.

"Why did you keep it?" he asked in a quiet tone, one that you wouldn't have heard if it hadn't been so quiet aside from the snow starting to fall and the occasional car driving on the other side of the building, far from you both.

"You know why," you repeated his words from earlier, your voice catching a bit at the end. It seemed he got what you were saying, since you both meant the same thing when you said the words to each other.

He stepped closer to you hesitantly, one of his hands still gripping his mask tightly. His other one reached upwards to cup your rosy cheek, the contact making his heart race and fingers tremble slightly, because God, it had been so long since he'd touched you.

Your eyes shut and you leaned into his gloved palm, your other hand coming up to cover his hand and holding it tightly, afraid he'd let go and remember how much you had hurt him all those months ago and leave.

"I still love you," he finally managed to say, causing you to open your eyes to look at him, seeing the adoration in his eyes as he smiled softly at you, his thumb brushing along you cheek.

"Even though I hurt you?" You asked shakily, to which he nodded, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours.

"I deserved it," he chuckled, interrupting before you could protest. "You probably thought I was in a secret fight club or something. I should've been more honest and told you from the beginning, but I was too scared. I'm the one that hurt you."

"First rule of fight club - don't talk about fight club," you said jokingly, causing him to laugh and get those crinkles by his eyes that you loved so much.

"I love you," you smiled after a moment, causing his gaze to meet your again, his eyes hopeful. "I never stopped. Clearly, I have a hard time moving on."

You gestured to his sweatshirt, making him grin again, before he leaned forward to press his lips against yours for the first time in what felt like forever.

Your hands went to cup the back of his neck while you tried not to smile into the kiss, only pulling him closer and wishing this moment didn't end, because it was all you had been dreaming of ever since you stepped out of his apartment.

His hands were now tangled in your hair, his mask discarded on the ground as he held you as close as possible, not thinking of anything but the feeling of you finally held against him again. When you had to pull back for air, he let out a shaky laugh, causing you to smile a little breathlessly and give him a weird look.

"I can't believe it was this stupid sweatshirt that finally gave me the guts to jump down and talk to you," he explained, tugging the strings a bit.

"Well, I'm glad it did," you replied, pulling him in for another kiss as the snow fell more heavily around you both, and despite the cold, you hadn't felt this warm in a long time.

#if you've read this before just a reminder this is me starting from scratch with the old url being pparkerwrites #also wrote this in 2017 and uh my writing has definitely changed LMAO #peter parker x reader #spider-man x reader #peter parker fic #spider-man fic #peter parker #spider-man #peterpparkerwrites masterlist

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redrobin-detective · 3 years

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Ok, I’ve tried and tried and tried to write this fic because I see it so clearly in my mind but it’s just not going no matter what I do. But I don’t want the idea to die with me. The closest this came to being written was exile which was an attempt to bleed out some of the energy of this au.

Anyway, so it starts off vaguely similar to canon only more aggressive. There had been underlying tension between ghosts and humans for a while, the dead jealous/angry at the living for disrespecting them. The successful creation of the Fenton ghost portal (and another halfa) was considered an act of war and so the ghosts responded in kind. So basically all of S1 occurs fairly close to canon except ghost attacks are more violent and have increasingly more consequences as time passes. Also the attacks aren’t just in Amity Park with ghosts becoming a worldwide issue but Amity is a focal point. Regular people know the ghosts hate them though they don’t know why. Phantom is very much a controversial figure as he is a ghost but also clearly is fighting off the more violent ghosts.

One day, not long after the events of Control Freaks, Amity Park wakes up to find three of their own are gone. Danny Fenton, Sam Manson and Tucker Foley are nowhere to be found. There’s a massive manhunt, the parents go on TV and beg for information but they cannot be found. Curiously enough, town hero Phantom was also missing. There’s some evidence they left of their own volition so the Mansons and Foleys eventually relent that the kids fled on their own. The Fentons are 100% certain the kids were stolen/killed by ghosts as a statement. And the fact that Phantom went missing around the same time means he was the one who killed them. Jazz knows Danny was Phantom but had no idea what was going on and knew her parents wouldn’t listen she just, kept quiet and privately tried to piece together what happened.

Three years pass and finally it looks like the Ecto War is coming to a close. Young, naive ghosts attempted to raise Pariah Dark in a bid to win. It went disastrously but Phantom (who was periodically spotted around the world, deep in the worst battles of the war) and group of loyal allies subdued the king. By the law of ghosts, Phantom was named heir apparent and he declared that the fighting would stop. Humans and ghosts would have to negotiate and co-exist in peace. But he’s not king yet, no he needs to be crowned at the place where it began, Amity Park’s Fenton portal (”where it all began” has a double meaning of the beginning of the war but also symbolically where Phantom began as Kings assume the crown where their living life ended to show their abandonment of their first life and the commitment to their second). Amity is NOT happy to hear that their former hero is coming home.

Amity has been through the wringer, ghost attacks got pretty bad. The Fenton’s throw themselves into their work to cancel out the grief, they create a group of ghost hunters nicknamed the Reds (for their red blood, ghosts are nicknamed Greens) to control the threat. Valerie heads the young adult division and is considered one of the best, she drops out of school to devote herself to it full time. Oh also her dad is now the Mayor as most have died or didn’t want the job. There are still people who like Phantom and see him as a hero (a lot of Casper Kids) but it’s generally an unpopular opinion in town. Maddie and Jack are ready to obliterate the ghost that took their son’s life the moment he’s within city limits. It’s a powder keg ready to blow. It all comes to a head when Phantom and his entourage arrive.

First off, Phantom looks very different, much less human looking than when he left. He’s clearly aged like a normal teen but his eyes look much, much older. His skin is dead white with a blue tinge to it from his ice core and his aura is super cold. His hair is longer and is very misty that kind of swirls around him and his has fangs and claws. When he’s deep in battle or his obsession, his sclera turn black and he looks scary af. His entourage is ghosts who have sworn loyalty to him, who he picked up along the way after battling beside them for 3 years. Fright Knight, Skulker and Frostbite are recognizable allies. They are not happy that their future King is back in Amity (secretly fearing they’ll lose him once more to his human life). J&M have a shot and are going for the kill when they see something that shocks them; Sam and Tucker are in Phantom’s entourage.

There had been whispers that Phantom interacted with humans, that humans were in his inner circle but this is something else together. And so are Sam and Tucker. Sam is Phantom’s General, she is talented and collected and half feral. She used to be a pacifist but the trials of war and understanding that peace sometimes needs to be fought for made her compromise. She’s covered in scars and an extremely talented fighter. She’s missing her right hand up to her forearm, she can form a ‘phantom limb’ (basically borrowing ectoplasm from her future ghost) to do some things with some powers. Tucker is the support, he uses human and ghost tech to organize, weaponize and generally keep things running. He’s covered in homemade tech (shields and weapons and computers) and he rarely removes. Both he and Sam have kinda forgotten how to interact with and really BE human after so long among the dead. They had attempted to conceal themselves but they had forgotten how strong parental love and recognition is. J&M want to know about Danny, the teens don’t know how to respond but assure them he’s alive. Phantom can’t bring himself to look at them.

This is where I start to lose track of things but there will be parallels of Valerie/Maddie vs Sam as female warriors on opposite sides who are willing to go behind, possibly compromising the things important to them, for victory. Tucker will be contrasted against Jack/Jazz as the one making weapons but also generally keeping the human parts of the team mentally/physically afloat. *Severe* PTSD for all three of them. They’re also unnaturally codependent on each other, get super anxious when one of the trio is out of sight and sleep in a big cuddle pile. They will fucking Kill You if you look at one of them wrong. Vlad will be involved, he had been jailed for war crimes but convinced Walker to stage a coup to overthrow Danny and take the crown before he’s actually declared King and is too powerful. Vlad is more unhinged here, more ghost than human (a hint on what could happen to Danny if he’s not careful). He is eventually defeated but he sacrifices his life for ghost power which, in the end, is what makes him able to be beaten.

There’s lots of ideas on what it means to be live or dead and where the divide really is, is it a heartbeat or it is how you choose to use your existence. On how duty shouldn’t mean you need to give up everything. Because Jack and Maddie believe that Phantom killed their son and, in a way, they’re right. Before they left, the ghost war had gotten so bad and the rumors of Dark being resurrected were going around. Amity attacks were at an all time high, people in their school were being killed just because Danny went there. He realized he had to choose between Fenton or Phantom and he chose to protect the world. He abandoned his human identity and went off to fight in war. Tried to convince Sam and Tucker to stay but they followed him through hell and back. Because Danny spends so much time as Phantom, Fenton is severely neglected. His long hair is cool and floaty as Phantom but is unkempt and stringy, hanging in his face as Fenton. He’s wan and underweight and looks like a walking corpse. He knows his human half will give out soon if he doesn’t give it more attention but he just can’t there’s too much to do, too many people to save.

It would end with Danny being outed to the town, not the world, just the town. Jack and Maddie need to recon with the fact that their boy DID leave of his own choice but only because their failure to protect him (from both the portal and ghosts) made him feel he had to take all this responsibility on his shoulders. Danny also has to recognize that he (and Sam/Tuck) can’t do all this on their own and they can trust and rely on the people around him. Phantom is crowned King but he decides Amity will be his base. The trio eat more, sleep some, catches up on school all the while continuing their duties as King and court. The ghosts also see that Phantom’s humanity isn’t a weakness but a strength and will bring peace to the Earth/Zone so they also take some of the burdens off his shoulder.

Basically I load up heavily with angst at the beginning and end with all the love and comfort imaginable. I just can’t fucking figure out the middle and my motivation will not let me write this shit out. But I can’t let this AU die bc it fucking keeps me up at night.

#behind me dips eternity #god I want to write this but its just not going #Ive been trying for over a month #I cant finish the outline #I've only gotten a paragraph into actually typing #but there are so many vivid images from this fic that live rent free in my head #was lowkey thinking of comissioning an artist to depict Danny bc I've tried and its not coming out right and it drives me INSANE #bc this world is very vivid to me #i love it even if it hurts me #anyway here's wonderwall

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 3 years

Text

Second Generation Hero Pt. 1

Warnings: ***Major Trigger Warnings*** for discussion of self-harm and the feelings surrounding self-harm. Angst. Sadness. Grief.

Series Summary: It's hard to be the daughter of a hero, will Dean notice Y/N needs help?

Chapter Summary: A description of how things got to this point.

Pairings: No romantic pairing. Dean Winchester x teen!daughter

Word Count: 1,066

A/N: @agirlwithanpureheart sent an ask for this request and this is Part 1 of 3 of this mini-series that sees Dean with a teenage daughter who is self-harming. Please heed trigger warnings above.

I have a history with mental health struggles, but never self-harm, so my understanding of it is limited to what I can learn from outside sources. I hope I have done an adequate job in representing the experience and I apologize sincerely if you feel that it is not. This is obviously a purely fictional representation.

Mental Health Help can be found on the following websites:

United States Canada: UK: International:

*The beautiful divider at the bottom was created by @talesmaniac89 💓

It's hard to be the daughter of a super-hero. But it's not the hardest part of my life.

I mean...

sometimes (most times) it sucks being a teenager

sometimes (most times) it sucks going to high school

sometimes (most times) it sucks being a girl

Add to this pile of suck, the fact that I live in this tiny town where I'm known as the freak who lives in the creepy abandoned building at the edge of town, and you might understand why I am where I am right now.

I am definitely not living up to hero status at the moment.

So, my Dad isn't really a super-hero per se. No cape. No tights. No movie deals.

I guess he's less super hero, more actual hero. He fights monsters. Like, real-life, scary as hell, kill you quick, kind of monsters. And he's good at it. Very good. He's a bit of a legend in the hunting world. That what it's called, his job, he's a hunter.

Let's see, he's fought the usual things most hunters fight; vampires, werewolves, wendigos, ghosts (all kinds!), Djinns, ghouls, sirens, rugarus, shapeshifters, rawheads, wraiths, skinwalkers...well, you get the idea. If it goes bump in the night, Dean Winchester bumps it back.

But he's also fought major baddies like demons, the devil and the darkness. He's saved the world more times than most people can track, and there isn't a hunter, angel, or demon alive who doesn't know who he is.

Hell, even God's got him on his Christmas card list. (JK, Chuck, that's God's first name, is off to parts unknown these days, and he doesn't really write.)

But whatever, my point in all of this is just to say that being the daughter of this hero, this myth, this legend, can be a little daunting. And it can make it hard when all you want is to talk to your Dad, but he's gotta run because of a literal life or death situation.

And these days it's gotten even worse, cause...

My grandma like totally returned from the dead. Not a zombie, just resurrected. (It might seem like that should be a bigger deal than it is, but lots of people in my family come back from death.)

But this was still a pretty big deal because she died when my Dad was really little, so it's been a major adjustment.

And I get that, but also, I feel like, I never had enough time with him before, he's always pulled in a million directions, but now he has this huge piece of his past, his family, back in his life and I just feel like she's one more direction he has to go.

I really need him right now. I need him to notice. I need him to see. I don't want to tell him, I don't want to tell anyone. But god, I need him to know. I need him to read my mind, figure me out, uncover my secret.

I know I need help.

It started a couple months ago and I've only done it four times.

The first time was mostly accidental. School had been absolute crap once again, I'm not gonna go over it, but suffice it to say, humiliation was involved and it was hardly the first time.

I needed to blow off steam. My Dad has taught me how to fight, how to shoot, and how to throw a knife, or in this case, an angel blade. He never wants me to hunt, but he always wants me to be able to take care of myself.

So that first time I was outside, where we have targets set up for practice, and I was whipping an angel blade and a couple different knives at the target. I wasn't doing very well, and wasn't actually interested in succeeding. I just wanted to throw something sharp.

Maybe subconsciously I did want to get hurt. I don't know, I'm not Freud. Anyway, I was pulling the angel blade out of the target, but it was stuck in pretty far. So, I pushed against the target with one hand and pulled the blade with the other.

It unstuck, but the force of the blade swung out to the side and sliced through my arm. It hurt. Like a bitch.

But...

There was something in the pain, something that felt like release, like relief. I looked down at my arm, at the blood running down to my wrist, and I imagined all the darkness in me, my resentment, my hate, my anger and grief was running out of me too. Maybe there was magic in the angel blade that would cleanse me.

Eventually, I kind of came to my senses and cleaned myself up and hid the cut from my dad and everyone else until it went away.

But then a few weeks later it happened again, but not at all accidentally that time. Or the time after that, or this last time.

But it was this last one that actually has me a little worried and desperate to be seen.

I cut pretty deep. It bled a lot. I was really scared.

I went to Cas for that one. I just told him it was an accidental injury while I was training. He healed it up for me quick. But the really really scary part?

I want to do it again. I feel like everything is crushed inside me, all this pain, all this fear, the dark just presses in from all sides.

But when I cut into my skin it's like I'm lancing a wound, like all the pus and infection drains away. The problem is, within a day, the wound is back, and I'm infected again.

I can't keep doing it, I know that. But I don't know how else to relieve the pain.

I don't want to tell my Dad. I think...I think he'll think I'm weak. He's like this giant tower of strength and will. Nothing ever seems to faze him. When impossible odds are in front of him, he just keeps pushing through, he always wins, he never gives up.

If I tell him, he's gonna know I gave up, that I lost, that I'm weak and...and I'd give anything for him not to think that, not to know that.

Because my Dad isn't just a hero - he's my hero.

Part 2

@akshi8278, @lgranger67, @maggiegirl17, @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone, @foxyjwls007, @b3autyfuldisast3r, @myloversgone, @kazsrm67, @fangirlxwrites67, @kickingitwithkirk, @charred-angelwings, @hopefuldreamers-world, @siospins, @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp, @my-sherlock221b, @jensensgotyoudean @lyarr24, @snowlovespie, @stixnstripesworld, @thoughts-and-funnies, @magssteenkamp, @norman1967, @princessmisery666, @mishkatelwarriorgoddess, @deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy, @eevvaa, @b-i-t-c-h-i-e, @twirpbunwarrior, @mysweetlittledesire

Masterlist Tag Lists

#dean winchester fan fic #spn fan fic #mini series #mental health #dean x daughter!reader #reader request #second generation hero

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mothandpidgeon · 3 years

Text

REPUTATION - Chapter 1

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!reader

Words: 3615

Rating: T

Warnings: slowest of burns, gender swapped characters, TOUCHING HANDS, no us of y/n

Summary: After scandal damages your reputation, you are finished with society. But a mysterious bachelor by the name of Mr. Djarin has a reputation of his own. And you are determined to keep yourself from getting mixed up with him.

A/N: So after THAT LOOK I know we are all working on our Darcy fics. I feel very intimidated to give it a go when so many talented writers are going to be doing it better but I really haven’t been able to think about anything else.

Also please forgive any historical inaccuracies. I hate those even when they’re on purpose so let’s just agree to ignore them.

And thanks @pascalslittlebrat for taking a look at this and listening to all of my feelings.

MASTERLIST

You used to enjoy going to balls. You used to feel excitement when you got dressed in a fine white gown, your hair set elegantly with little silk flowers. Your heart would race when you would arrive and see all of the gentlemen in their finery. And dancing. There was a time when you could stay on your feet all night, drinking in the attention of all the eligible bachelors.

Those days were long gone. Now you felt a rock in the pit of your stomach the entire time. You counted the moments until you could leave. You couldn’t even bother to put on a pleasant expression, spending entire evenings sullen and taciturn. But at least this was the last ball you had to drag yourself to this season.

You had been forced to spend yet another season in town. This time you had the company of your younger cousin Julia, though her older sister Emma was a difficult chaperone. And tonight you were being hosted by Captain Charles Dune and his wife Lady Georgiana Karga. They threw wonderful parties– at least you had enjoyed them when you enjoyed those things. It was a masquerade ball which meant Julia had picked out a dainty little mask for you to wear. You couldn’t be bothered to choose one yourself but Julia had an eye for this sort of thing. And you liked the creamy white bow that she tied into your hair.

Julia was looking forward to tonight. She was very popular despite being related to you, containing all of the traits a man would want in a wife– good looks, excellent conversational skills, and a talent at the piano forte. She had a number of young men constantly calling on her and her dance card was practically full before she had even gotten into the carriage.

“You look so pretty!” she insisted, though she was probably admiring the work she had done to make you presentable.

Emma was looking forward to being finished with you. She had been married for three years and fancied herself an authority on the subject. She spent much of her time lecturing you on the proper way to comport yourself. Tonight she was just trying to get you to quit sulking.

“Would you at least try to be sociable?” Emma requested with a frown.

“I don’t much see the point,” you huffed. “Do you really believe I’ll get a proposal at the last ball of the season?”

“Lady Georgiana has invited an old friend of the captain’s,” Emma encouraged. “Mr. Djarin. She says he’s quite admirable.”

You rolled your eyes. You both knew you were headed for spinsterhood. Emma had lost her mind if she thought that she was going to pawn you off on some aged, paunchy bachelor.

The ball went exactly as you had expected. You watched Julia dance and laugh. You stood by as Emma talked animatedly when she wasn’t giving you sharp looks. Though there were gentlemen without partners, no one asked you to dance aside from Captain Dune and a few of the unlucky young men he could press into service.

Even now at the end of the season, where so many engagements had been made, you could still feel the eyes on you, the whispers behind hands. It was as if they thought the masks covered their looks of derision. You knew what they were saying, why they snickered and turned away.

It was all because of your broken engagement to Mr. Vanth. There was no returning from a situation like that. You had been cast aside and all of the ton could enjoy surmising the reasons. Your reputation was in shambles.

But it wasn’t the fact that he had gone and married some heiress not two months after he’d given you up that made it all so painful. What had really destroyed you was the fact that you’d let yourself love him. He wasn’t the best choice though he was handsome and had enough income to keep you comfortable. But you had given your heart to him and he had crushed it. And you looked like an utter fool for it.

For some reason, tonight it all stung. You’d learned to drown out the comments and ignore the sideways glances. But here you were, closing yet another season, as single as the day you’d come out. You’d begged your poor mother to let you stay at home in the country so that you wouldn’t have to suffer these indignities. It was pathetic that you had even shown up in London. But she had insisted, had assured you that you were still desirable, still attractive and spirited.

You certainly didn’t feel that way now. You snatched up a glass of wine from a nearby valet and drank it down in nearly a single gulp. It did little to soothe your nerves.

You needed air. You took another glass and sped towards the garden. The noise and music floated out here but the fresh air was cool and the garden looked quite empty, the vacant pathways lit by torches.

You’d once been so much fun. You’d laughed and smiled. You’d had no worries about your future. Now, not only were you a laughing stock but you would be lucky if you could rely on your cousin’s generosity for the rest of your days lest you end up in the poor house.

Tears were welling up in your eyes. You tore the mask off of your face to wipe them away. With your vision clouded and in the dim of the garden, you didn’t see the man that was standing in the shadows until you’d run right into his back.

You’d hit him with enough force to knock you back a few paces but he hardly flinched. He was tall and broad shouldered and he turned to look at you with curiosity. He was alone, thank heavens. He wore a black tailcoat and under that a waist coat that looked like silver and shined like silk. You didn’t recognize him but, of course, he was wearing a mask like all of the other guests. His was rendered in the same silver fabric with a slim slit for his eyes. A scalloped piece of fabric fell from the bottom of the mask down to his chin so you couldn’t see anything of his face other than his dark eyes.

Once you’d regained your balance you began to stutter an apology.

“Forgive me, sir,” you stammered. “I must mind my step.”

The stranger didn’t say anything, he just continued to look you up and down, the torch light reflected in his eyes. His hair was a mess of dark curls. His stature was imposing and incredibly still. You were so shaken that you suddenly realized how you looked, your face stained with tears and eyes glassy. You felt your cheeks burn with even more embarrassment.

Just as you opened your mouth to give some explanation, a voice came from behind you.

“Djarin! There you are!” Captain Dune called out, as jovial as ever.

You did your best to wipe the tears from your cheeks while the masked man turned his attention away.

Captain Dune sauntered down the path with his wife on his elbow. He was a dark haired, stocky man who still looked quite dashing in his dress uniform. He had been a hero of the Nile and served with your father before his ship had been lost. His round face was adorned with a black mask.

“Ah! I see you’ve met the young lady I told you about,” Dune said.

Lady Georgiana’s bright eyes looked between the two of you from under her leather mask. She was a beautiful woman with dark skin and a wide smile. She had always been kind to you even after the disastrous affair with Mr. Vanth.

“My dear, allow me to introduce Mr. Djarin,” Lady Georgiana said. “He is a very good friend.”

Mr. Djarin gave a tight bow when she introduced you but barely murmured a, “How do you do?”

“What are you doing hiding out here, Djarin? The dancing is inside!” Dune teased.

Mr. Djarin gave a chuckle but he didn’t sound amused.

“Why don’t you ask this young lady for a dance? I’m sure she would lower herself to stand up with you,” the captain continued with a wink.

“I’d better not. Please, you’ll have to excuse me. I should retire,” Mr. Djarin said, his voice deep and raspy.

Your eyes fell to the ground and you swallowed hard. You hoped in the darkness of the garden, Lady Georgiana didn’t catch your upset. Clearly Captain Dune had told him everything about you. Why else would this man be so impolite?

“Oh come now. It’s early, yet,” the captain protested.

“Forgive me. It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” he bowed and took his leave.

“My dear,” Lady Georgiana tried, “you’ll have to forgive Mr. Djarin. He has lived alone for so long that he sometimes forgets his manners.”

You gave her a smile, clenching your jaw so that you would not cry.

“I just had a splendid idea!” Lady Georgiana exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “You should come stay with us at Nevarro Hall. We leave next week. It would be great fun. I do find that part of the country so diverting.”

“You are too kind but I couldn’t impose,” you said politely. You had a feeling this offer only came because Georgiana felt responsible for her friend’s slight.

“Nonsense! You’re quite right that is a grand idea!” the captain agreed.

It was agreed that Lady Georgiana would write to your mother to inform her of the invitation. You knew she wouldn’t disagree considering how kind the Dunes were and how generous an invitation it was. Once the matter was settled, Captain Dune insisted you return to the party and you reluctantly slunk back inside.

Julia was with a gaggle of some friends when you returned to the ballroom. There was some excitement going on between them.

“Did you see him, Lucy?” one of the girls asked.

“I was introduced,” Lucy squealed. “It is a shame he was not here earlier in the season.”

You realized they were talking about Mr. Djarin and you felt yourself frowning.

“You’re not happy with Mr. Calican?” Julia laughed. Lucy had accepted his proposal just yesterday.

“No, of course!” she scoffed.

“What was he like?” Julia asked.

“I’ve heard he has a fine estate,” Lucy said.

“Oh, he was terribly handsome,” the first girl craned her neck to try and spot Mr. Djarin.

You wanted to laugh. You had also been introduced to Mr. Djarin but there was no way of knowing how handsome he was beneath that mask. You might have even ventured to tell them that but Emma joined the group looking disgruntled.

“I have learned some most unsettling news about Mr. Djarin,” she said. “He is traveling with a child who is in his care.”

“What about that offends you so?” Julia rolled her eyes.

“That is just it, Julia. I am told that this young boy is not merely Mr. Djarin’s ward. He is, in fact, his natural child.” This last part she said in a scandalized whisper.

This raised quite a few eyebrows but you furrowed your own.

“You are told?” You responded. “By whom?”

You knew the rumors that had circulated about yourself and had grown to absolutely despise and distrust gossip.

“I have it on good authority,” Emma said, which meant that some busybody had told her.

You shook your head. You hated that you felt the need to defend Mr. Djarin after he’d been so rude to you. If he had a child out of wedlock, one that he paraded around shamelessly, then what right did he have to rebuff you? You reminded yourself that this was merely hearsay. And no one deserved to be slandered like that.

But when you saw the way the other girls eyed you, you remembered yourself. If you protested too much, it would only speak to your own reputation. So you let them prattle on and as soon as you could slip away, you did, and spent the rest of the evening counting the minutes until you could leave and fall into bed.

After such an excruciating time in town, you were happy to be going anywhere else and, selfishly, you were glad that you didn’t need to spend a long carriage ride hearing Julia go on and on about how much she would miss being in town.

Nevarro Hall was situated on a gorgeous estate in a quiet part of the countryside. Lady Georgiana had given you a well appointed room with a view of the grounds. There was a beautiful garden with a fountain in the middle and, beyond that, a manicured lawn. You could see down to the lake and, past that, the tall trees. You spent a week walking the grounds with Lady Georgiana.

You loved to draw and you could set yourself in some corner of the garden and sketch the flowers for hours on end. It was such a wonderful change from the constant noise and hustle of town– the endless parties and calls, Emma herding you around like a prized cow. When the weather was fair, Lady Georgiana would have tea set outside and she and the captain would ask for a tour through your sketchbook and kindly remark on your talents.

“Perhaps you will create a likeness of the captain, my dear,” Lady Georgiana suggested. “If he will sit still enough for you.”

The captain laughed at that remark as the valet presented him with a letter.

“Very good! It seems Djarin will be joining us tomorrow! His business in town is finished,” he said.

You tried to hide your displeasure. You had no interest in sitting through dinners and excruciating evenings with Mr. Djarin. But you had little choice in the matter. And the captain and Lady Karga had been such generous hosts, you wouldn’t insult them by cutting your visit short.

You decided that you would be as polite as necessary but keep away from him as much as possible. This was wise, you told yourself, because your reputation couldn’t suffer any more difficulties. There were plenty of people that would jump at the chance to make even a passing association with Mr. Djarin into a scandal. But, of course, there was still a part of you that smarted at the way he had dismissed you in your very first encounter. You couldn’t be prevailed upon to be pleasant to a man that was so insulting. And so you would not.

Luckily, the first two days, it was easy to avoid Mr. Djarin entirely. The captain had taken him out riding or shooting or some such activity men enjoyed and they had dined out. Lady Georgiana had become a dear companion to you but she had begun to spend far too much time hinting at how much she liked the new guest. You would merely nod and smile and let your mind wander when she started to tell you how agreeable Mr. Djarin was or how he had been such a kind friend to her father.

On the third day, you had complained of a headache so you could excuse yourself from breakfast. After you had the tea and toast that Lady Georgiana had sent up to your room, you insisted a walk would be good for you and you set out across the grounds with your sketchbook.

You decided the stables were a good place to be left alone. It wasn’t like anyone would be looking for you there and, save the horses, there was nobody there. You found a little wooden chair and sat down to draw the horses and tack.

There was a beautiful black mare with white whiskers around her snout that you were sketching when you heard a noise. It was a funny little squeal. You thought you had imagined it until you heard it again. It had come from the empty horse stall at the very end and when you set down your sketchbook to investigate, you found a little boy sitting in the hay.

“Hello,” you said to him.

He smiled up at you. He looked incredibly sweet with chubby little cheeks. His ears seemed too big for his head and his eyes, too, were big and round. He wore a little brown suit with a delicate ruffle around the neck that was now covered in mud and hay.

“What are you doing in here?” you asked him, though he seemed too small to answer.

He babbled at you and held out something in his hand.

“What’s that?”

The child leaned forward, stretching towards you, and dropped it into your hand. It was a little silver ball that jingled like it had a bell within.

“Thank you,” you chuckled.

You shook it and it made a tinkling sound. He clapped his pudgy hands together, then planted them on the ground, and carefully got to his feet. He continued to yammer on as he tottered towards you, falling on his behind once, but determined to reach you on his own.

“Grogu!” You heard a voice from the path outside that you recognized. “Grogu!”

The boy scampered out of the stable and right up to the boot of Mr. Djarin.

“Where have you been, lad? They’re turning the whole house over looking for you,” he said.

He scooped the little boy up, holding his whole body in the crook of his arm, a wide hand grasping the boy’s calf. Grogu put a dirty hand up to Mr. Djarin’s chin and he laughed softly.

Now that you had the benefit of seeing him without a mask, you realized Mr. Djarin was, indeed, quite handsome. He had full lips and a prominent nose. His skin was a shade of gold that complimented his dark eyes. His starched collar met a square jaw that was dotted with stubble. In the sunlight, you could see that his soft curls and thick sideburns were threaded with grey hairs. The smile that spread over his features was so warm, you wished you could capture it in your sketchbook.

This was the infamous child, then. You saw little resemblance between Mr. Djarin and the lad but he held him so tenderly, it made you wonder if the rumors hadn’t been true.

That’s what you were pondering when the boy turned his attention back to you, pointing with a plump little finger. Mr. Djarin’s whole body stiffened when he saw you, his eyes turning sharp.

“Good morning,” you said with a curtsy.

His jaw clenched and he nodded.

“He was playing,” you tried, tilting your head back towards the stable.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I was drawing the horses,” you explained.

His head tilted just slightly.

“Is that his name? Grogu?” You asked when Mr. Djarin failed to speak.

“Yes,” he said.

You smiled. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Grogu.”

You put out your hand and the lad wrapped his fingers around one of yours.

“Ebba!” he cried.

You laughed. When you glanced at Mr. Djarin he was looking at you with an expression you could only describe as fear. Your smile faltered.

“I take it your business was concluded. In a satisfactory manner, I hope?” you inquired politely.

His brow furrowed momentarily and he opened his mouth and then set Grogu down at his feet.

“Yes. I-” he cleared his throat. “Please, you must forgive me for my behavior at the masquerade. Lady Georgiana said that I offended you. That was not my intention.”

You felt heat in your cheeks once again, embarrassment mixed with anger. You couldn’t believe he had to be told that he had acted like an ass. “Not to worry, sir. My pride has already been damaged so thoroughly, what is but one more slight?”

The look that crossed his face was absolute horror. You would have apologized for speaking so plainly but you frankly didn’t care. What right did he have to judge you? To apologize like you were so pitiful when here he was with his love child. You knew what men like Mr. Djarin were like and you’d learned to keep a wide berth.

“I- I should tell them that I’ve found him,” Mr. Djarin said. “Good day.”

He turned to go back up the path.

“Wait!” you called.

You blushed when you realized how impolite it sounded. Mr. Djarin turned carefully but said nothing. You approached him, painfully aware of the way he stared at you. It was difficult to meet his eye. You swallowed and held out the child’s ball to him. Mr. Djarin put out his hand and you placed it in his palm. As you did, your fingertips brushed his hand and you shivered. His skin felt rough and his palm was so large compared to your own. Your breath caught and, for some reason, you wished he would close his fingers around yours. You quickly withdrew your hand.

The boy reached out for the ball with a coo.

“Much obliged,” Mr Djarin managed. He was still looking at you with intense concentration.

Your chest felt tight.

“I’ll let them know at the house,” you stuttered and after a quick curtsy you were rushing back up the path.

--- Chapter 2

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snackleggg · 3 years

Text

It wasn't hard, in that moment

~~~

Angsty one shot without a happy ending. Sometimes hate can blind you to the simplest things.

~~~

This couldn't be happening.

There was no way this was happening.

But the screen didn't change as Maddie and Jack Fenton stared at the news on their TV.

" -and with all this in mind the government has not only decided to revoke the Anti-ecto act but to also give ghosts and other ectoplasmic entities that fall under that category basic civil rights. The GIW and several other unethical ghost hunting organisations are being shut down as a result and the government will soon be moving onto the inspection of smaller groups and individuals that have shown excessive malice towards these beings-" The news reporter continued on but Maddie couldn't really listen to anything else they were saying.

She didn't think it would ever get this out of hand. At first it had been small things, the impressionable and naive children of Casper high supporting that menace Phantom. Then when word of ghosts being real spread to the rest of the world other groups supporting them and their rights as people started popping up.

Now the Anti-ecto laws were not only taken down but new laws protecting the scum were put up. How did this happen?

A growl escaped Maddie "Phantom".

Of course that evil menace had to be up to this. He and his ghost pals must have mind controlled government officials. Now Fenton works would undoubtedly be inspected and shut down considering the new Ectoplasmic Protection Act.

They had to work fast Maddie decided.

If they could destroy Phantom then whatever ghostly hold he had over the government would disappear and they would all come to their senses.

Maddie stood up and started stomping her way down the stairs. She didn't even notice Jack continuing to watch the news as they interviewed some ghosts on what they thought about the situation. She didn't even notice how Jazz was standing proudly at the top of the stairs or the suspicious look Jazz threw her way when she had left.

With her new urgency it wasn't hard for her to finish a project they had in the works for a while. Her and Jack had kept it top secret so that the scum couldn't somehow find out and destroy it like they did with some of their other brilliant inventions.

The Fenton Ghost Filter was about to get a test run on the local menace.

Unlike something like the Ghost Grabber or a Ghost Shield, the Ghost Filter didn't filter ghosts from an object or just force them away. It filtered them from existence. Separating all their ectoplasm down to the molecular bond, they would become nothing but air.

It wasn't hard to find the menace. He had just finished sucking another ghost into a Fenton Thermos, Maddie still couldn't figure out where he had got his hands on one. It wasn't hard to get his attention and expertly lie about her intentions, about seeing the news and understanding how wrong she had been, about how she wanted to speak to him and make a truce.

The words were bitter on her tongue and it took everything in her to keep her expression of friendliness up and not let any venom or disgust leak into her voice.

He was obviously still cautious when he approached her. He carried himself with the air of someone ready to bolt at the slightest sign of danger. Of course Maddie would never give him that chance.

The moment he was in close enough where she knew she wouldn't miss she pulled out her newest invention. She saw the moment he realised what she was about to do, the moment he realised she had lied and the moment he realised that even with his speed he wouldn't be able to dodge in time.

Maddie saw the fear in Phantom's acid green eyes.

She smiled.

She was proud to be the cause of that fear.

She pulled the trigger.

Time seemed to slow down after Phantom collapsed. Not in the good way either.

It wasn't the same kind of slow as when she was about to shoot him, when she was savouring that moment, that victory.

At first it was caused by confusion.

Why hadn't he been torn apart instantly? Maybe she had gotten something wrong in her rush to finish it? Maybe a calculation had been off?

Then white rings appeared around Phantom's waist and travelled up his body.

She was tense. Was this a new power? A new attack? Thanks to those damn new laws it would be seen as self defense if he attacked her now.

Then when the rings of white light disappeared her son was left there on the ground. He was screaming.

Over the years Maddie had learned to ignore the screams of ghosts, they were all just ploys to gain her sympathy of the emotionless creatures. The screams of ghosts had become white noise to her, nothing more than a passing irritation.

But infront of her right now was not a ghost but her son. Her baby boy. He was screaming. He was in pain.

The mother in her wanted to run over to her boy right then and try and make him feel better, comfort him and make his pain stop.

The ghost hunter in her, the part of her that had been driving her every action up until that point, whispered in her ear how this was a trap. Phantom was trying to trick her like always, trying to gain her sympathy by making himself look like her son.

The two sides were at war, and so Maddie was frozen.

Then time seemed to snap back into gear, moving fast now like a rushing river.

Someone ran past her, towards Danny (Phantomphantomphantom). It took her a moment to realise it was Jazz. She was quickly followed by Danny's two friends, Sam and Tucker.

They were all panicking. All calling out to Danny, asking what was wrong, asking what happened and what they should do. Reassuring him that everything was going to be okay, though it sounded like they were trying to convince themselves just as much as they were trying to convince him.

The entire time Maddie could barely hear them over the screams, over her son's (Phantom's) screams.

Then it all stopped.

The screams cut off abruptly, like the plug being pulled from a TV.

Danny (Phantom that's Phantom it's Phantom) fell limp.

Sam was crying, Maddie had never seen her cry before. She was always such a strong girl.

Tucker seemed to be franctically looking for a plus, both on Danny's wrist and neck.

Jazz was-

Maddie felt like she had been slapped when she looked at Jazz.

Jazz was staring at her- no, glaring.

There was so much in that glare.

Jazz had always expressed a lot of emotion through her eyes, she could never really hide what she was feeling if you looked her in the eyes.

There was rage, and sadness and- what Maddie didn't want to admit looked like hatred. Unshed tears sat in the corners of her eyes as she glared at Maddie like she had just taken everything from her.

Then her eyes trailed back to Danny's (Phantom's) limp form.

He wasn't breathing. He was still, too still.

His eyes closed from when they had been screwed shut in pain.

Tucker was now also crying, he had stopping looking for a pulse.

Maddie felt bile rise to the back of her throat as she replayed the events in her head.

Maddie saw the fear in Phantom's acid green eyes. (She didn't need to try hard to imagine those same eyes as blue- sky blue like the day the baby in her arms opened his eyes and she swore to always protect him)

She smiled. (That's the last thing he saw, her smiling. Smiling because she was about to kill hurt him)

She was proud to be the cause of that fear. (She caused that fear. Her own baby was afraid of her, and she had been proud of that)

She pulled the trigger. (She pulled the trigger, she shot him, she hurt him, she killed him)

"Tragedy struck today as Amity park's local ghostly hero Phantom, whose identity was revealed to be Damiel Fenton, was killed by none other than Madeline Fenton. It has been a common fact in the town of Amity for many years that the adult Fentons have harboured a, at times, unreasonable hatred to ghostly entities. While not all the details are yet known, the broader strokes of the story are that after the government's public declaration of the Ectoplasmic Protection Act yesterday Madeline Fenton decided to act out to destroy Phantom who she and her husband had claimed to be a menace multiple times. Taking a, as of yet unidentified, weapon and lulling Phantom into a false sense of security around her before she shot him and subsequently killed him. When he died his identity was revealed to be that of her own son who, we are told, after an accident involving their prized invention, the ghost portal, became part ghost and took personal responsibility for making sure that Amity park was safe from those who wished to harm it. Madeline Fenton is being charged with first degree murder and there is currently much debate on whether Jasmine Fenton should be removed from Jack Fenton's custody-" The news reporter went on.

Jack couldn't focuse on the TV anymore. His sobs having grown too loud to be able to hear what was being said.

His wife was going to be sent to prison.

His daughter hated them both.

His son was dead.

His son had died nearly two years ago and they hadn't noticed. They hadn't questioned his strange behaviour, the falling grades, the breaking curfew. They hadn't seen their son when they looked at Phantom, hadn't recognised him.

Then his son died again, by their invention again.

He was a terrible father.

He was a terrible person.

#danny phantom #danny phantom fic #angst #hurt no comfort #danny fenton #Maddie Fenton #jack fenton #jazz fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #dp fic #my writing

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lady-of-lyon · 3 years

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So, I made one post a while back about how awesomely feminist the show Wild Kratts was, with how its two main female characters were women of color in engineering and deserving roles of power, female villains who weren’t motivated by spite or quest for youth, etc, but today I wanted to talk about something slightly different, that I’ve wanted to cover for a while now, because I also think it’s very good - and that’s how the show portrays masculinity, in a way that’s really positive!

First, we have our two main characters, Chris and Martin Kratt. Keep in mind these two are basically self-inserts - and there are plenty of creators, especially males, who have used self-insert characters in really scummy ways - all I have to say is Powerpuff Girls reboot and you know exactly what I’m talking about. Even if they weren’t literal self-inserts, male characters, superheroes especially, oftentimes serve the male power fantasy, being just the strong, stoic, all-powerful person so many boys are told they’re supposed to be. I could get into a whole discussion about how the male power fantasy is present even when males are not (ever look through a fashion magazine and wonder why there are so few men? Sure, part of it is that the industry thrives off exploiting women’s insecurities, and men aren’t as concerned for their appearance, but another part of it is so that the guy, looking through it, can feel like he has no competition for these women - there’s a reason so many comedians have jokes about fashion magazines being their sexual awakening as kids. It’s really scummy) but that’s not what this is about. So, the bros had every opportunity to do just that - make themselves these traditional heroes who aren’t actually really good role models, like batman or what have you. It’s certainly not uncommon for celebrity cartoons to do stuff like that. But Martin and Chris chose a different approach. They’re pretty strong standouts for positive masculinity. They’re openly affectionate - both with eachother as brothers, and with their friends. They cry, sometimes over little things - most of the time when big superheroes cry, it’s ‘cause they lost the girl they loved or their mentor or something like that, only in the big, most agonizing moments do they shed a tear. But here, Chris or Martin will cry just because they’ve had a bad day, or because they’re overwhelmed and overjoyed that someone named a mantis after them! In a lot of shows or movies when a guy cries over something little, it’s usually played for laughs, or to emasculate him, but here it’s casual without being unreasonable or overdone. The brothers cry just ad much, maybe even more (haven’t gone back and counted or anything) as the girls do. Not to mention, it’s a very nice depiction of a loving, healthy sibling relationship. As the youngest sibling myself, it’s refreshing to see a pair who don’t abuse eachother with noogies or cruel and snarky remarks. When they do fight, it’s never a screaming match, and also because they had a conflict of interest or disagreed over a fact, not because, say, one of them stole the other’s shirt or is neglecting the other’s feelings. Kids, being very impressionable, get exposed to a lot of abusive sibling relationships played as normal in media, and start thinking this is how siblings are and should act. For instance, my sister (who is now my best friend and has gotten over all these bad habits over time) when she was younger watched a lot of Kim Possible, a show that is great, but has a bad family dynamic with Kim and her little siblings. The “tweebs” as she calls them are always irresponsible, destructive, and making Kim annoyed to no end. My older brother was one of the most polite, reserved, kind little kids, but she still treated him like he was a brat and a nuisance, because that’s what shows like Kim Possible taught her little brothers were. Additionally, I was always treated like a spoiled crybaby who just wanted attention and got away with everything - I was not any of those things, ever, but that’s what shows teach you little sisters are. Sure, Wild Kratts has a smidge of that, with Chris seemingly being the stereotype of the know-it-all little sibling, but instead of being constantly looked town upon for being too “perfect” like with Hailey Long in American Dragon, Martin often praises his brother for his abilities. Sure, Martin gets annoyed when Chris tries to correct him on things, like in the episode Wolf Hawks, but everyone else does too, so it feels more like a take-down of mansplaining than a sibling spat.

I talked too in the feminist post about how refreshing it is that Chris and Martin more or less willingly put themselves under the authority of Koki and Aviva, two women of color. I don’t think it’s possible to say any one character is the “leader,” they all work as a evenly balanced team, but it’s safe to say that Koki and Aviva make the more responsible decisions. The bros try to get out of their calls a few times, but the show plays it more like they’re being irresponsible, and less like they’re renegade cool dudes who don’t take nothing from nobody, especially not two girls. They are pretty much always punished via karma for their reckless choices, most especially in To Touch a Hummingbird, where their arrogant attitudes blow up in their faces rather spectacularly. We also never see the narrative most present in sitcoms, where the male leads mess up and go out of their way to cover it up and ultimately gets away with it - after all, you have to root for them, right, because sure they messed up and had no consequences, but aren’t they just so lovable? No, here Martin and Chris always have to fix their wrongdoing, and it’s always deserved when they get comeuppance. Another aspect of the show I like is that, many times, when the bros get captured or are in peril, they are saved by the women - and most refreshing of all, there’s never a moment of “wink wink nudge nudge wow I can’t believe I had to be rescued by a GIRL” or even “wow you saved me you’re pretty good honey guess I shouldn’t have underestimated you, you go girl!” No, when the girls save them, it’s just - you know, relief? Because they were saved? It’s never a scenario played as an exception, or any more dire than when the bros need to rescue eachother. The bros are genuinely happy to have them as teammates. The show even did the standard “boys vs girls” episode in the form of When Fish Fly - but instead of being actually girls vs. boys, it’s engineers vs. adventurers. There’s nothing really gendered about it - the girls happen to be engineers, and the boys happen to be adventurers. And the episode doesn’t end with the boys being “wow gosh darn I shouldn’t have doubted you girls are better at everything,” it’s a mutual agreement that both parties have hard jobs. Basically, the bros are very naturally respectful of women. That plays more into their feminist narrative too, but either way, it’s refreshing.

Then, we have Jimmy! Jimmy, the lovable gamerboy pizza man. At first glance Jimmy seems like the stereotypical cowardly, pathetic, emasculated loser. He’s frightened of most things, as of yet has no power suit, and he BAKES for crying out loud! But none of these things are framed as terribly bad traits. Sure, we laugh when he screams and runs from an animal, but though it happens over and over, the crew doesn’t get sick of it. They don’t berate him or belittle him because he’s so gosh darn cowardly. There’s a great scene in Rattlesnake Crystal where Jimmy has to deliver something to the bros alone, in the middle of a spooky desert. He is terrified the whole time, sprinting off after he delivers the goods. When Martin and Chris run into him, they don’t laugh at him for being spooked, they just greet and then bid fair well to their friend. To them, this is just Jimmy, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Jimmy isn’t coddled, but he is reassured many times that he’s a valuable member of the team. I love that little message, that you’re just as important of a person even if you can’t do as much or have greater limits. When his friends do try to get him over his fears, it’s not because they have to, that the day will somehow be ruined by Jimmy’s incompetence p, but because they’re his friends, and want him to experience fun and wonderful things that he would otherwise miss out on. But what Jimmy CAN do is just as important! Jimmy is a gamer, which in a lot of shows, is portrayed as a lazy, useless, mindless hobby. But here, because he plays video games, it makes him essential for piloting the ship and teleporting important items. There’s always the joke that video games improves your hand/eye coordination, but recent studies have shown it has much better effects. It can make you much better at keeping track of multiple moving objects and processing technical but variable information- two traits which, fittingly enough, are really really important for air traffic controllers and airplane pilots! He also demonstrates a lot more courage behind the wheel of the Tortuga, which makes sense - in an impersonal setting, he would have more sense of calm and control and courage, because it’s so similar to a video game world. It’s not all too different with how I feel more emboldened to pick fights with people on the internet, but get crazy anxious if a real person so much as looks at me. So Jimmy’s love of video games isn’t because he’s irresponsible, it has real benefits. A quick last point - Jimmy also eats a lot, but they thankfully don’t make him fat or greedy or anything like that. He never takes food from people, he actually bakes, and shares it with others! Having the baker be a boy is a lovely touch.

I might do another post about the toxic masculinity of the two villains, (or four villains, I guess, if I wanna discuss the minions) but I’ve got other work to do, and this post is long enough already, so I’ll get around to it later. I’ll sum it up with this - Wild Kratts is a show that teaches boys it’s not only ok to be kind, but essential. The brothers protect defenseless animals, advocate for things “icky” and “weird,” like bugs or snakes or worms - not because they’re boys, and boys like icky things, but because they genuinely see the beauty in all life, and are encouraging us to slow down and do the same. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world not by being the strongest or smartest or coolest, but by looking after those who are exploited and vulnerable, who are essential to the world, even if they can’t always do everything. In Wild Kratts the only weaknesses a man can have isn’t what he can’t do, but what he does do that he shouldn’t have. Sure, it’s a cute show about two funny guys who have cool powers, but it’s also a show about accountability, compassion, respect and trust. The show says “boys will be boys” in all the right ways - Martin is a lovable goof with a heart of gold, but he still has to get his act together when he messes up, and he’s still creative and smart and openly sensitive. Chris is a bit of a know-it-all show-off, but he can also mess up as much as his brother, and is still bold, brave, adventurous, and can put his money where his mouth is. Jimmy is a cowardly, napping, eating machine video-gamer, but he’s still a valued member of the team, has incredible skills and talents, and will always help his friends, even if he is really, really scared. It is so important to have role models like these, in a world dominated by unhealthy machismo. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world - both animated, and real.

All they need now is a canon queer character, and I’ll stan them forever! My money’s on Aviva!!

#wild kratts #chris kratt #martin kratt #long post #hottake #feminism #meninism #positive masculinity #toxic masculinity #jimmy z #wk jimmy #kratt brothers

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mosswillow · 4 years

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Jumping In (Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader)

Warnings: 18+ adult content!!, Kidnapping, smut, Dark fic, vaginal fingering, noncon/dubcon, yandere.

Summary: You submit your application to the Avengers as a joke. You’re nowhere near qualified enough for the job. So why do they want you?

AN: A big thanks to @rayofdawnworld for commenting on “Your Room” that they wanted to know about the other Avengers. This one is (obviously) Steve and is happening chronologically before “Your Room.” You can read it by itself though! I also have a story forming for Bucky in my mind so I’ll probably do him next.

You’ve always been the type of person to jump into things without thinking. It’s gotten you into plenty of trouble throughout your life but you’ve always managed to get yourself out of it. It’s opened up opportunities for you and taken you all over the world. You put in the application for SHIELD almost as a joke, thinking there’s no way they would ever hire you, especially not to work with the Avengers.

The joke becomes serious when you get a call from Stark Tower offering you a job. You skim over the contract eagerly and sign it immediately, jumping on the opportunity to work your dream job.

After a whirlwind week you find yourself standing in the middle of a high tech training room surrounded by Avengers. Being around a group of people as powerful as the Avengers is intimidating to say the least. The contrast between you and them is stark and you feel your confidence slip trying to keep up with them. They all assure you that you’re doing great and they’re glad to have you with them. It feels like a little family and you get pulled in immediately. You find yourself gravitating to Steve, or maybe he gravitates towards you. He shows up everywhere you go, at the water fountain filling up his bottle, running at the treadmill next to you, stretching on the mat. He watches you spar with different Avengers, giving advice and words of encouragement.

“Keep that arm up Y/N.”

“I will, thank you captain.”

“Call me Steve.”

“Steve.” You smile.

You spar with Bucky and try to ignore Steve's looks. You don’t know if you feel flattered or uncomfortable with the attention he’s giving you. You decide that he’s probably just trying to be friendly since it’s your first day.

It doesn’t stop though and you constantly find yourself in situations with Steve. He’s in the elevator with you or walking by your room as you’re leaving. You even bump into him at the grocery store.

A week later you open your door to see Steve waiting for you just outside your room. Your heart does a flip at the sight of him standing in front of you. His hair is damp and you try to control your mind from imagining him in the shower. His tight white shirt shows off his muscles, which doesn't help your wandering mind one bit. You shift your eyes away from him and chastise yourself. God, He smells good and you wonder what soap he uses. He gives a cocky half smile and takes a step toward you.

“Good job yesterday.” He says, moving in front of your line of sight.

“Thanks.” you smile and force yourself to look him in the eyes.

He puts his hands in his pockets and rocks on his feet looking nervous.

“I thought I could treat you to coffee?”

Your heart starts beating rapidly. Is he asking you on a date? Steve Rogers asking YOU on a date? It can't be that. The flirting has to be in your head.

“I’d like that,” You mirror him, putting your hands in your pockets. You realize too late that you don’t have pockets though and end up awkwardly rubbing your hands against your sides. Steve lets out a chuckle and you cross your arms and laugh along with him.

You follow Steve to a nearby coffee shop and he orders you a drink. The two of you sit at a semi-private table in the back next to some barely cognizant university students who are furiously typing away on their laptops.

“How are you enjoying being part of the team?” Steve asks.

“I love it! Everyone is really nice.”

“Are you nervous for your first first mission?”

“A little bit,” you confess.

“I’ll be there with you, don’t worry.”

That was definitely flirting, you think. Captain America is flirting with you.

You smile and take a sip of your coffee. This is like a romance novel, a cute coffee date with a literal super hero. It comes to an end though when you notice a kid taking a picture of the two of you. Steve frowns and cocks his head towards the prepubescent photographer.

“I think we should head back before we get more fans.” Steve Says.

Steve does a silly pose for the kid as he passes by and pulls out a signed Captain America card. The kid stands stunned looking at you as you walk out of the shop. Steve puts his hand on your back and leans in.

“Sorry this was so short. We’ll have to go somewhere more private next time.”

“Don’t apologize! The coffee was amazing, thank you so much.”

It only takes twenty minutes for you to start getting phone calls. A picture of you and Steve is all over the internet. It looks very incriminating, Steve's arm on your back and him smiling close to your ear. You answer your phone and hold it away from your ear as your friend Amy yells at you from the other end.

“Captain America!” She screams over and over again.

“Are you guys dating now or...”

“No, he was just being nice.”

“The picture looks like he’s being a lot more than nice. Please hit that Y/N, if you don’t I’ll scream.”

“You’re already screaming.” you say with a laugh.

“Seriously though, I want to be invited to your wedding one day.”

“Amy! he’s hot for sure but he’s also kinda my boss and I’m not ready for anything serious right now.” The picture of you and Steve is still in your mind. You can barely take care of yourself and certainly aren’t ready for everything involved with dating Steve Rogers.

You hang up the phone and smile to yourself. You can’t believe how your life has changed so fast. One day you’re working security at a hotel and the next you’re working with the avengers and flirting with Captain America.

---

You shake your foot nervously on the way to your first mission. Your role is simple, in fact it's almost impossible to mess up. You’re nervous anyway though. Everyone tells you it’s normal for your first mission and you take deep breaths trying to calm down.

You exit the jet and make your way into town. Your only job is to distract your mark for five minutes. You check your watch and start your way toward your mark.

“Excuse me sir?”

“Yes?”

“Do you know a good breakfast place around here?”

It’s beyond easy. You keep the conversation up for five minutes and end it quickly. Steve gives you a pat on the back after, congratulating your successful first mission. It feels off. Anyone could do what you did. You’re nowhere near as skilled as the Avengers and don’t understand why you would be picked for the job.

“What’s wrong doll?”

“I just don’t feel like I’m really good enough to be part of this team I guess.”

“You’re more than good enough.”

“But you guys are so much stronger... and faster... and smarter.”

“We look for more than those things when picking recruits. Trust me, you’re exactly what I… We need.”

You feel a little better and push away your doubts.

---

The missions become harder after the first one but you’re still never put in direct danger. They say you need more training before taking on more dangerous roles and you agree. You’re not sure if you’ll ever improve enough though and it makes you guilty, like you’re taking up space in a team that someone else could have. As you start becoming more part of the group Steve starts coming onto you more. He takes you out several times and starts becoming more physically affectionate. You like Steve. Aside from being gorgeous he’s old school, bringing you flowers and opening doors. There’s Something about him that feels disingenuous and your gut prevents you from starting a serious relationship.

You meet a barista at the same coffee shop Steve took you to. He’s cute and you decide to give him your number impulsively. He texts you that evening and you stay up late texting back and forth. The next day everyone stares at you as you stretch before your training. You’re not sure why until you notice Steve standing outside of his office.

“Y/N, can I see you in here please.” His voice is an octave lower than usual and a chill runs down your spine.

“Of course.”

Steve closes the door and motions for you to sit down.

“I’m aware that you’ve exchanged numbers with someone who is unapproved.”

You nod slowly, confused how he knows at all and why it’s a big deal.

“This is a huge security risk.”

“I already ran a background check on him.”

Steve sits on the edge on his desk and caresses your cheek.

“Why do you want to talk to this boy when you have me?”

You push his hand away.

“I mean, I like you Steve but I’m just not ready for the commitment yet, you know that.”

His eyes narrow and he looks at the hand you pushed away.

“I understand.” He says.

You stand to leave and he calls after you.

“Oh, and remember you have a curfew. I don’t want to have to reprimand you.”

Steve feels different, unhinged. You’ve only been late a few times and only by a few minutes. You push away your worry hoping it will get better. He’s probably just not used to feeling rejected. He’ll get over it.

---

“Y/N, don’t you dare enter that building.”

“There are still people inside Steve!”

“It’s too dangerous. Help is on the way, don’t do it.”

You rip the com out of your ear and run into the building. There’s smoke everywhere and you cover your face with your arm. You make fast work of reaching the blocked room, breaking the door in and letting the room of people out. You escort them out of the building and to safety.

“Thank you so much.” A woman says, hugging you.

“No problem.” You smile.

The building starts collapsing in front of your eyes and you watch it burn. You walk back to the jet, coughing and bruised and get checked out as soon as you land.

Steve waits for you outside of medical.

“What were you thinking Agent!”

“Not now Steve.”

“It’s Captain and yes now.”

You sigh.

“I was thinking, Captain, that I needed to get those people out and I was right.”

“And what would have happened if the building had come down on you? Help was coming and you had an order. You’re lucky your lungs are ok with the smoke you inhaled.”

You push Steve out of your way and walk towards your room.

“It was a risk I was willing to take,” you call back.

You reach your room and take a long shower, thinking about everything. As much as you want to fit in with them you just don’t. Something tells you that you need to quit. You need to get out of here and never look back. you decide that you’ll hand in a two week notice tomorrow.

The next morning you wake and dress quickly still feeling the same as the night before. You head to your door and turn the knob but find it locked.

“What the fuck?” you pound on the door but nobody answers. You pick up your phone to call for help. It won’t connect to the internet or call anyone. Your computer is the same way. As the day passes you start feeling more and more uneasy. They have to know by now that something is wrong with you. your voice is raw from yelling for help and your hands bloody and bruised from pounding on the door.

Finally, hours later you hear the click of your door unlocking. You open it to see Steve standing with his arms crossed on the other side.

“I was locked in my room.” you say in a quiet voice.

“I know, I locked you in.”

“What’s wrong with you? That’s insane Steve!”

Adrenaline rushes through your body and you start pacing. Everything is telling you to get out. This is not what you signed up for.

“I quit.” you say defiantly.

Steve rushes toward you, pinning you to the wall. None of your self defence training helps you. He’s so much bigger and stronger, trying to fight is a joke. You know your best bet is to stun him somehow and run but you can barely move.

“You can’t quit doll.” He brushes a hand down your body, giving your butt a squeeze. Your eyes widen in shock.

“I’ll report you.”

“To who?”

You start thinking, your eyes darting back and forth. He slides his hand into the front of your pants and rubs the bulge in his pants against you. your breath hitches and you relax your body a bit. You scream at yourself to do something. The hand in your pants rubs against your clit expertly and it takes everything you have not to let out a moan.

“Ah, I see you’re getting it.”

His finger slides to your entrance and he prods you before submerging his finger. You gasp at the intrusion and realize that he’s barely holding onto you anymore. Your hands grasp his shoulders and you lean against him.

“This would have been much easier if you had followed my plan. You had to go putting yourself in danger.” He chides.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please you’re scaring me Steve.” you say,

“It was going so well but you’re unpredictable, flirting with that barista.”

He pushes his finger in deeper and you whimper.

“If I don’t take action now I might lose you and I can’t lose you.”

“Get away from me,” you beg.

He grasps your hip painful tight.

“You're my girl now, ok? My girl doesn’t disobey me, especially not on missions.”

He pumps his finger, coating it with slick.

You realize that he won’t listen to reason but you try anyway.

“I’m so sorry you’re right I’m your… your girl, just let me go please.”

He pulls his finger out and gives you a kiss.

“See, there’s a good girl.”

He pulls a ring out of his pocket and places it on your finger. His watch vibrates and he looks at it before kissing you on the cheek.

“We can celebrate tomorrow.” He winks.

He leaves you in the hallway and you back into your room, shaking and crying. You don’t care if he locks you in again. You need to be in a place where you feel somewhat safe and can process everything that just happened. You take the ring off and throw it across the room.

The night is spent curled in your bed crying and the next morning you walk self consciously to the kitchen. Bucky sits at the counter eating cereal and he knits his brow when he sees you.

“Hey, what’s wrong.”

You shake your head.

“You can tell me.” He looks at you with his big kind eyes and you decide to confide in him.

“Steve… assaulted me. He’s out of his mind, saying all sorts of crazy stuff. I don’t know what to do.”

Bucky holds you close.

“You’re his girl Y/N, don’t provoke him and you’ll have a good life.”

You tear yourself away and look at him with disbelief.

“It’s not a secret Y/N and we’re on Steve's side.”

You back away and head straight for the exit hitting Tony on the way

“Woah, what’s the rush?”

“I quit.” you say, tears starting to fall.

“You can’t quit princess, you’re Steve’s.”

Your breaths become shallow and your head starts feeling light.

“How did you think you got the job in the first place Y/N?”

You run to the elevator slamming the button over and over but it won’t let you down.

“What’s wrong with Y/N?” Thor walks over.

“She’s having a hard time adjusting to being Steve’s,” Tony answers.

“Let me out.” you yell.

Steve comes out of nowhere catching you in his arms and you throw your head back and duck. He stumbles back. Other Avengers start to gather and you pull your fists up in defense.

“I want to leave.”

“Come with me back to your room doll, it doesn’t have to be this hard.”

You stand your ground and Steve goes into a fighting stance. You don’t even have a chance, he has you trapped in his arms within minutes.

“I don’t understand.”

“We got your application in the mail. As soon as I saw your picture I knew you were the one I’ve been looking for.” he coos.

“Why go through the whole facade?”

“Use your brain Y/N. Everyone knows we’re together. There’s pictures of us everywhere online. You’ve talked to friends and family about our relationship. It won’t look weird when you drop off for a while because of your job and when you come back engaged nobody will blink an eye.”

“No.”

You look at the Avengers, you’re family. None of them do anything to help you. Every single one turns their back and walks away nonchalantly like it’s just another normal day.

Steve drags you to your room and closes the door. He walks over to where you threw your ring grabbing it off the floor, and places it back on your finger.

“This doesn’t come off again,” He says.

You look at the ring and back at Steve over and over trying to make sense of all of it. Steve walks purposefully to the drawer you keep your candles and lights several, placing them around the room.

He backs you into the bed and undresses you slowly and meticulously. He sits back and looks at your naked body, taking his time touching and examining every piece. He grabs your legs and parts them, looking at your pussy and two fingers in.

“So wet for me already.”

You shake your head and he lands a slap on your thigh.

“No.” He commands.

“Be good so I don’t have to punish you. You’ve seen me work, you know what I’m capable of.”

You bite your tongue and force yourself to lie still as he slams his cock into you. You cry out in pain and he rubs your arm and whispers sweet things. He kisses you as he pushes his cock deep into you. He grabs your chin and squeezes until you open up and let his tongue in. you reach out and grab his arms and he pulls at your leg until you hug them around him.

“You can come Y/N.” he whispers

You shake your head.

He reaches between you and pushes against your clit. You fight against it for as long as you can but it becomes too much. An orgasm crashes over you and you flutter around his cock. He thrusts hard enough that you get pushed into the headboard and seconds later he’s coming in you. He smiles down at you, lovingly stroking you face.

“I love you Y/N”

You stay silent and he pulls you into a constricting hug.

“Don’t worry doll, you’ll love me soon.”

You’ve always been the type of person to jump into things without thinking. It’s gotten you into plenty of trouble throughout your life. You’ve always been able to get yourself out of it,

but this time.

This time you jumped too far.

#dark!steve x reader #dark!steve rogers #dark!fic #dark!steve rogers x you #dark!avengers

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salmonthestoryteller · 3 years

Text

Against All Odds

Roswell New Mexico Coda 03x03

Isobel sighed - half in relief and half in frustration - as she parked her car by Michael’s truck. Her brother was unsurprisingly sitting by his fire pit, but he seemed calmer than he had at the drive in.

Michael rolled his eyes when she got out of the car and approached him. “I’m pretty sure I’m safe here, Iz.”

“There was a fire at the church.” Isobel took a seat by him. “We’re back to square one.”

Michael groaned, hanging his head over the back of his chair. “Well, the sunflowers are from me, I guess. So it’s someone I’d be willing to pay respects to.”

“I thought you were convinced it was you.”

“…”. Michael sat up, keeping his gaze on the fire. “Well, Alex doesn’t think so.”

“You talked to Alex?” Isobel asked. Michael shrugged. “So you run away from Max and me - twice I might add-“

“I didn’t run-“”

“You never come to us for help, and trying to help you in anyway is a sure way to start an argument-“

“I don’t need charity-“

“But you will go straight to Alex Manes and tell him everything?”

“…if I was gonna kick it, I kinda wanted to see him at least once.” Michael explained.

Isobel frowned. The giddy feelings Michael had allowed to seep through their shared connection before Alex returned had been absent. She thought perhaps he’d simply been too busy helping her save Max to say anything about their reunion but this didn’t really sound like that at all. “What happened?”

“Alex says if I was the one dead he’d… react differently.” A small flicker of hope again, but nowhere near as substantial.

“So, Alex said your death would affect him deeply. Sounds like a pretty enormous declaration to me.”

“…yeah.”

“So why aren’t you with him? Oh, shit, is he here?” She glanced towards his trailer.

“What? No!”

“Well, I don’t get it. What happened to all those “I think it’s our time” vibes-”

“He’s seeing someone else.” Michael snapped.

Isobel froze at his words. “Oh…”

Michael sighed. “Yeah, so not our time. Okay?”

“But I mean, if he’s saying you dying would affect him so much, how serious could he be about the other guy?” She couldn’t help but point out. Honestly, she may have to do a little digging herself. She wasn’t above being a manipulative bitch if either of her brothers’ happiness was on the line.

“I don’t know. I didn’t exactly interrupt their reunion kiss to ask how serious their relationship was.” Michael responded sarcastically.

Isobel winced. She imagined that hadn’t been a great thing to witness. “Maybe it’s not that serious?”

“Serious enough to let him know when he’d be back in town.”

“Yeah, but he also told you when he’d be back in town.”

“Alex has better options than a junkyard mechanic in Roswell with a criminal record. I can’t exactly fault him for choosing them.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were going to date Alex Manes, not a member of my Mom’s yoga club.” Isobel quipped. “Is he really that interested in boyfriend bragging rights?”

“He’s a decorated war hero. Can’t exactly go on dates with a criminal.”

“Didn’t seem to have a problem asking you to use your criminal talents to break into a top secret alien facility though.” Isobel crossed her arms. “Wait, is this why you cleaned up your act this past year? For Alex Manes?”

“Look, don’t we have a murder to solve? My non-existent relationship can wait.”

“That’s not a no.”

“There were a lot of reasons, Iz. Knowing about our moms. Sanders. Having you, me and Max back to how we used to be. And, yeah, maybe some small piece of me thought it might impress Alex. Most of which has all been turned on its head, so… can we please focus on the murder now?”

“Do I at least get a name?”

“Isn’t the point that we don’t know the name?”

“I mean the name of who Alex Manes is seeing that you apparently think he can brag about to his yoga club?”

“He doesn’t do yoga.”

“Irrelevant.”

“If I tell you, will you finally drop the subject?”

“Deal.”

“Forrest Long.”

“A Long? Are you serious?”

“Dropping the subject, remember?”

“Come on, you can’t expect me to not say something about that.”

“As much as it pains me to say it, Forrest isn’t a bad guy. Black sheep of his family. Guess he and Alex have that in common.”

If she was already concocting a list of all the gossip mongers in town she knew who might know something about Forrest Long, Michael need never be the wiser. “Gregory isn’t so bad.”

“Please tell me you two never-“

“No. Just an observation.”

“Uh-huh. So are you still seeing the bartender?”

“We aren’t serious. I don’t think I can be serious about someone who doesn’t know about us. Our collective history on that isn’t so good.” Isobel let her eyes rest on the fire - she didn’t like thinking about how that applied to her own past. To Noah and how he’d never truly been unaware. How their entire relationship had been nothing but lies.

“I hate the idea we cover another murder. Thought we were done with lies…”

Isobel frowned, watching the flames. “What if I’m not crying cuz of who it is, but how they died?”

“Meaning?”

“What if it’s cuz we’re to blame? What if it’s like Noah and Rosa and-”

“Hey, that’s not gonna happen.” Michael cut her off. “The only potential evil alien around here is in a cage in the desert and he’s staying there. Nobody’s making us do anything ever again, okay?”

“Promise?” Her smile felt shaky even to herself.

“Promise.” Michael didn’t hesitate.

End

Author’s Notes: *sideeyes Jones* If you dare make Isobel go through that again…

I don’t think they’ll actually do mind control again. Though it is one possible explanation for bringing up Noah at the funeral in the vision.

Mostly this was an excuse for Isobel and Michael interaction. Cuz Isobel may live to torment her brothers, but their happiness really is important to her. There is a touch of classism with the way every character who is not named Liz Ortecho treats Michael during the course of the series, some more than others. Isobel, however, has definitely gotten better about it since the first season. So I can definitely hear her reacting to the notion that Michael wasn’t “good enough” boyfriend material defensively. Because despite her own “stepford housewife” Roswell persona, she never allowed it to interfere with having Michael in her life - even when his behavior was at its worst. And I can totally see her social media stalking poor Forrest and being like - yeah, no. My brother is way better. (Sorry, Forrest.)

While I’m pretty sure Alex has long forgotten the words that started the communication errors between Michael and him, I think a part of Michael is still very hooked on that “I want to be with you, but not if you’re wasting your life.” He still feels at some level that who he is isn’t “good enough” and that’s probably why he was willing to take such a huge step back when he realized Alex was interested in Forrest. He needed to prove he could be “good enough” first. And I need Alex to smack him over the head with the fact that he stopped caring about that shit somewhere around Caulfield.

Also, the fact that the only person Michael feels safe going to when things are bad is Alex? That says things. He’s had moments with other characters but in each instance they’ve come to him. The only person Michael willingly goes to is Alex. He’s the only person he feels truly safe asking things out of. The only one he allows himself to shed that “but if I owe them, that’s dangerous” mindset with. And thinking about that is truly heartrending.

#roswell new mexico #rnm fic #michael guerin #isobel evans

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madamewriterofwrongs · 3 years

Note

my sweet darling - how about an armed forces 911 AU? Maybe Eddie meets Navy Seal Buckley overseas? Maybe they meet back stateside at the VA?

You, my darling, always send me such fun and interesting prompts. I promise I didn’t forget.

Ooh, okay. Let’s see...

Prompt Me with AUs

Delta X-Ray (I am Sinking)

Read on Ao3

Eddie first sees him as he’s getting off the plane in Washington. He’s going to receive a medal. Apparently his work in Bagram made him a hero and not a broken, shell of a man. Who knew. And really, it’s just a glance because he has other things to worry about besides a Navy man getting dressed down by his captain. He doesn’t need to hear what’s being said to know that’s exactly what’s happening. He’s seen that look too many times, felt the hot breath of his superior as they spat harsh words meant to ‘toughen him up’.

As he passes the sailor, he hears something to the effect of “if it happens again, you will be dismissed.” And Eddie wonders how many times this particular man has received this exact lecture. It doesn’t really matter, anyways. He just wants to get his medal, shake a few hands of politicians who think they had anything to do with his ‘accomplishment’ and go home to his wife and child – ex-wife, he reminds himself. Shannon had the papers shipped to Afghanistan. Couldn’t get away fast enough, his mind bitterly supplied. All he would have at the end of the day was his son, and a medal to replace the wedding band he’d worn since he was 19.

Before he knows it, he’s standing on a small stage, a million lights flashing in his eyes as cameras and stage lights practically blind him. His shoulder aches – out of the sling for the afternoon so he can at least look more put together than he feels – and he’s dizzy from the attention. That’s his excuse for why he doesn’t recognize the man standing beside him.

“Seaman Petty Officer First Class Evan Buckley.” A blond man steps forward and Eddie catches himself staring at the dress whites and stone expression for longer than is strictly necessary. He seems a far cry from the officer being scolded less than an hour ago, but it is definitely him. And he was standing on stage beside Eddie, about to receive a medal of his own.

“For distinguishing oneself by heroism not involving actual conflict with an enemy of the United States, Petty Officer Buckley is awarded the Navy and Marine Corps Medal.”

As he watches the stripes being pined on the officer’s lapel, he lets himself wonder what crime the man could have committed to be dressed down and rewarded in the same afternoon.

He’s so curious, in fact, that he nearly misses his own name amongst the titles thrown around.

“Staff Sergeant Edmundo Diaz.” He steps forward, holding his breath until the entire ordeal is finally finished. “For gallantry in action against an enemy of the United States, Staff Sergeant Diaz is awarded the Silver Star.” The medal is heavier than he anticipated, but he supposes that makes sense. It is quite a burden he’ll be carrying around, and now he has a gold star to go with it – he wants to chuckle at the irony of his ‘Silver Star’ actually presenting as a golden one.

It seems everything about his life is a life.

There were a lot of reasons Eddie hated attending events like this: The politics, the bravado, the crowds of people ‘thanking him for his service’. Mostly, though: he never knows anyone. Sure, he can charm a senator or two for a few minutes, swap stories with other officers from other divisions about where they were and what they saw. But those are fleeting relationships, meant to get him through the day. He’ll go back to his hotel room at the end of the night with no more friends than when he’d stepped off the plane in this awful, awful town. Eddie is tired of ‘schmoozing’. With any luck, today will be the last time he has to tell the governor’s wife how lovely she looks in her dress.

That’s when he spots the man sitting at the edge of the bar like he’s trying to hide from the world, and he decides to make his way over.

“Do you mind if I join you?” He asks, even as he sits down.

The other man’s eyes light with recognition – and damn, are they as blue as the sea. “Not at all. Diaz, right?”

“Eddie.” He supplies, raising a finger to the bartender to snag his attention. If he is going to make it to the end of the evening, he’s going to need one, good drink. “And you’re Buckley.”

“Actually, it’s Evan but you can call me ‘Buck’.” His amusement must be evident because his new drinking buddy supplies the answer. “There are a surprising amount of ‘Evan’s in the Navy.”

It had never occurred to him to check how many ‘Eddie’s were in his squadron. Maybe he should ask his CO if that’s why he always called him by his full first name.

“Congratulations, by the way.” Buck looks somewhat nervous even as the words leave his mouth. “On your medal. Good job.”

“Oh.” Is all Eddie can bring himself to say as he stares into the bottom of his glass. “Thanks.”

“You don’t look too happy about it.”

He really isn’t doing a good job of hiding his emotions if this relative stranger ca read him so easily. “No, I-” he takes a deep breath to recalibrate his thoughts and paste his best fake smile. “It is a great honour.”

“Bullshit.” Buck laughs in his face but for some reason, Eddie doesn’t bristle nearly as hard as he expected. It almost feels playful. The rest of Buck’s response is cut off by his buzzing phone on the counter. The man quickly grabs it long enough to check his notifications, returning it to its place at the bar with a disappointed look.

“Are we keeping you from something?”

“Uh, no.” It’s Buck’s turn to look caught out and in need of recalibration. His expression changes much slower. “I’m just waiting for a call from my sister. I sent her an invitation to this thing but she never responded.”

Eddie has experience with family not coming to big social events like this one. Of course, in his case, he never invited them in the first place.

“Family ain’t easy.” He shrugs as he takes a long sip of whatever burning liquid he’d ordered – it really doesn’t matter so long as he can stay sitting here and not mingling with the crowds of vultures.

“It’s more than that.” Buck looks worried, and the way he bites his lip is… Eddie shouldn’t be focusing on that. “It’s just…” The man shakes his head, dismissing whatever feelings were eating at his gut. “I don’t want to bore you.”

“Please.” Eddie leans into his space with a playful smile. “It can’t be any more boring than this event. Please try to bore me to tears, if you dare.”

When Buck smiles, Eddie’s heart flutters out of his chest and sits beside him as they listen to Buck begin to speak. He tells Eddie about his sister, how she cared for him growing up, how she went away with her asshole of a boyfriend – now her deceased asshole of a husband – leaving him to fend for himself. He talks about travelling the country, trying every odd job he could get his hands on, until a buddy of his suggested he join the Navy. And he loves the work, he really does, but he hasn’t seen his sister in over a year. Their last conversation ended in a fight about some family secret that Buck is reluctant to talk about. Even Eddie can tell that the man just misses his sister. No matter what the argument was about.

Eddie finds himself talking – in less detail – about Shannon and the divorce and his son at home. At Buck’s prompting, he shows off his favourite photos of Christopher (avoiding the one burning a whole in his shirt pocket, torn and bloody, which never leaves him). The man’s face positively lights up when he sees the kid, offering an appropriate amount of sympathy for his divorce without pushing him for more emotions.

It’s easy talking to Buck, he realizes after a few hours. Because suddenly, the venue rental is nearly up and he’s still sitting at the corner of the bar, talking to Buck. Sure, a few people have passed by and shaken their hands, thanking them for their service – Eddie cringes every time and Buck has to hide his laughter once he realizes – but for the most part, it’s just the two of them, sitting and talking.

“The flag signalling we use now was established in 1855.” Buck explains as he leans further into Eddie’s space. “And while Robert Morse invented Morse Code in the 1830s, the International Morse Code that we use didn’t come out until the 1850s.”

“How do you know all of that?” Eddie was fairly certain he hadn’t had to study the history of communication when he was in training. But he’d also been very focused on his medical textbook.

Buck was incredibly cute when he blushed, Eddie decides – though he opts to keep that opinion to himself for now. “I get bored and I read.” The man shrugs nonchalantly, as though he hasn’t been entertaining Eddie with stories of Naval history and his own dumb-ass mistakes all evening. Honestly, Eddie wants to sit here all night and listen to Buck tell him stories of the world. It seems like he’s lived a lifetime already. And what has Eddie done? Gotten a girl pregnant, joined the army, gotten shot, and now he doesn’t even have a wife to go home to.

“Can I ask you something?” Eddie realizes too late that Buck looks nervous. He thinks he probably wouldn’t have said yes if he’d noticed. “How did you get your medal?”

Now he knows he doesn’t have to answer – and his initial instinct is to close out his tab and see if he can run to El Paso on his still-injured leg. But he also realizes that he hasn’t told anyone since it happened. Not the full story. Even now, he might not have the words. But he tries.

“Our helicopter got shot down while transporting wounded. I could still move so I got everyone out. Or I tried to get them out.” The echo of gunfire is not as distant as the others told him it would be. He can still smell it. “Support finally arrived and they decided to give me a medal for holding down the fort.”

Buck places a gentle hand over his and Eddie gasps, reminded that it has been a very long time since anyone has touched him. God, how he misses it.

“You saved wounded soldiers in the middle of the desert while being fired on. And you think you were just doing your job?”

“I’m an army medic.” He reasons with the bottom of his glass. “It’s my job to save people.”

“Maybe. But I don’t think that’s why you do it.” Without elaborating, Buck smiles at him and Eddie forgets the question.

“What about you?” He asks instead. “What’s yours for?”

Unlike the enthusiastic, bubbly personality he’s been talking to for the last few hours, Buck melts into the face he saw up on that stage. The stoic, professional.

“We were on our way back from an escort mission when we encountered some rough seas. I happened to be on deck with the chief mate when he had a stroke. I tried to tend to him but the storm was getting worse and no one could find the captain, so I just took over navigation. It was rough, I had no idea what I was doing, but we all made it out safely and the chief mate was okay.” As Buck shrugs, memories of an overheard conversation come flooding back to Eddie’s mind.

“Wait, were you on the USS Angelo?”

“Yeah. Why?”

Eddie can’t believe it. He has to laugh. “You were the cadet who sailed out of Hurricane Ida?”

“I am a petty officer first class, I’ll have you know.”

“Buck, you navigated a 2,000 ton ship out of a hurricane and all they gave you was a lousy medal?”

“I should get that printed on a t-shirt, or something.”

“That was incredibly reckless but also incredibly brave. Buck, you’re a hero.”

“I was just doing my job.” The smirk tells Eddie he knows exactly what he’s doing but it still hits him that he’s throwing Eddie’s words back in his face. Cute and cheeky.

He doesn’t know why he asks – well, he does, but it’s incredibly stupid and impulsive, and he definitely can’t blame it on the alcohol but he sure would like to.

“How long are you in town?”

Buck looks pleasantly surprised by his question but answers with regret in his eyes. “I head out with the Fifth Fleet in the morning.”

Wow. “You just got a medal, and you’re headed out to earn another one?”

“Something like that.” Buck laughs and Eddie wishes he was braver than he felt. “But I won’t be gone forever. And I’m really good at telegraphy if you wanted to send anyone a message.”

He’s so grateful that Buck has the good sense to be everything he needs right now. Because asking the next question is easier with someone standing next to him. “I suppose I’ll need a way to get in touch with you, then.”

Buck winks and Eddie has never been gladder that the concept of ‘standing’ was only metaphorical. The man should not be so irresistible after only a few hours, but Eddie can’t help but watch him push off his barstool and walk around the side of the bar.

“Hey, Diaz!” The spell is broken long enough for him to look across the room at where his name is being called. He waves at old friends – well, Senior Airman Han and Space Force First Sergeant Wilson are the closest things he has to old friends but in actuality, he’s not sure he knows their first names. “We’re going to the afterparty, want to join?”

On a normal night, Eddie would decline on the basis that he doesn’t want to go, and would rather lay in bed and watch reruns of ‘Murder She Wrote’. Tonight, Eddie wants to decline on the basis that he doesn’t want to go, and would rather stay up all night talking to someone who makes me feel curious about the future.

“Not tonight.” He shouts back across the room. “I’ll catch you at the next ceremony.”

They wave him off because they know it’s the same excuse he makes every single time but the only thing that matters is getting back to Buck.

“So.” He turns to the bar only to find it empty. The seat beside him is also unoccupied, as is any of the space surrounding him.

Had he dreamed up Buck? Had he been imagining this person who made him feel like divorce wasn’t his last chance at happiness? Was he truly so desperate and lonely?

“Hey.” Eddie looks up with too much hope in his eyes to only come face-to-face with the bartender. “He left this for you.” The man – who is not Buck, no matter how much Eddie hopes to see those eyes again – slides a napkin across the counter and walks away before Eddie can ask anymore questions.

He picks up the napkin and reads the blue ink-stained note written in messy scrawl.

Kilo

--... .---- --... ..... ..... ..... -.... --... ----. .----

The dots and dashes he recognizes as a series of numbers – a phone number, he hopes – but the word above? He tries to recall his academy days.

Kilo. Short for Kilogram. Used in the International Code of Symbols to represent the letter ‘K’. In Maritime Signal Flags, it indicates: I wish to communicate with you.

He’s pretty sure the bartender hates him for how late he stayed and how loudly he laughed at Buck’s note, but he can’t bring himself to care. Instead, he spends his energy memorizing the napkin’s contents long after he’s input the number. It’s more than just a piece of paper: it’s hope.

#military au #911 on fox #911 fox #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie fic #911 fic #first meeting #cj answers things #florenceandthemachine #cj writes things #love flo

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