#there’s also something to be said about how this adds to the ‘feel too violently’ aspect but my past few meta posts haven’t been very pop

[dallasgallant]

I like how despite their troubles the gang are still… a bunch of teenage boys. Their primary moods are:

1.) Eat

2.)Roughhouse

[snowyslytherinowl]

The First Perfect Christmas

PAIRING: Severus Snape x Reader

SUMMARY: For the first time in Severus's life, he won't be celebrating Christmas alone. This time, he'll spend the holidays with you, his girlfriend. Since it's your favorite holiday, Severus tries to get you every Christmas gift on your wishlist. But when not all the items you want are available, Severus worries that he'll ruin your Christmas and disappoint you.

Warning: a very brief reference to child/domestic abuse and there's angst, but there's nothing intense. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and even if you don’t, I hope you have a wonderful day! I know I haven’t published in a while since my life has been busy, but I wanted to at least write something for the holiday season. Also, I tried my best to use British English terms (I know I didn’t use British spelling, though) but I may not have gotten them all since I’m ✨American✨.

*GIF isn't mine; credit to @smilingformoney

For the first time in his life, Severus Snape’s Christmas won’t be one of loneliness. He spent his childhood Christmases with his parents, but being with his parents was like being with no one at all. Every Christmas was the same; his father drank himself into a violent rage and his mother sat on the couch in silence. Severus envied the children who received the newest toys and ate warm meals beside a grand tree. At the very least, Severus wanted to spend time with his family even if there was no tree in the corner of the living room. Wasn’t Christmas time supposed to be full of holiday cheer and merry greetings? 

You are the only person who makes him feel happy during the holidays. He stuck his nose up at the Christmas decorations around Hogwarts and not a single tinsel could be found in his quarters. But when the clock struck midnight on the First of December, you required him to add some holiday cheer to his quarters. He placed a mini tree in the living room, hung stockings above his fireplace, and lined the doorframe to his bedroom with garland. The colorful ornaments you gave him for the tree are a little too bright and tacky, but it doesn’t matter; he’d do anything to make you happy. 

On the other hand, you decked out your Hogsmeade cottage in the spirit of the holidays. A train chugs around a miniature Christmas village, the large tree displays red globes and floating snowflakes, and a beautiful snow globe with white horses rests on your mantle. The aroma of gingerbread cookies and plum cake wafts from your kitchen as Severus walks into your cottage. You peek into the living room from the kitchen and smile widely as you see him come in. 

“Come here!” you say enthusiastically to him, but you run towards him and pull him into the kitchen before he even has a chance to oblige. There are many baked goods on the counter, ranging from gingerbread cookies with iced smiles to a Yule log that actually looks like it was cut from a tree. Without warning, you shove something in Severus’s mouth and he almost spits it out from the surprise. 

“How’s the plum cake? I’m in between giving my neighbors a plum cake or a plum pie. They said they like anything with plums, but a pie and a cake aren’t the same thing. So, what do you think I should bake them?” You look at him expectantly as he chews on the plum cake. It is absolutely delicious; it’s moist and not too sweet. Severus swallows the last bite and is about to respond when your eyes widen and you gasp. “Oh wait! I forgot to give you the pie!” Once again, Severus almost chokes as you shove the plum pie into his mouth. 

“Now what do you think?” you ask him. Severus stares blankly at you. He doesn’t want to make the wrong choice and therefore disappoint you, especially since you’re looking up at him with expectant eyes. What if he chooses the cake and the neighbors deem it not moist enough? Or what if he tells you to bake the pie and the neighbors don’t like doughy desserts? It’s a minor decision to make, but he never wants to upset you; so, he chooses the sweet he likes more. 

“I prefer the cake,” Severus says, pointing at the dessert on the counter. You beam at him and wave your wand to pop another cake into the oven. 

“Thanks! Now why don’t you sit down on the couch and I’ll clean the kitchen up?” Before he can oblige, you gently push him out of the kitchen to immerse himself in the Christmas wonderland of your living room. 

Severus sits next to the arm of the couch and looks around the room as he patiently waits for you. He notices an open journal on the side table and leans forward to look at the top page. It’s a list of some sort: a snow globe, notepad, pillow, and Iridescent Ink. Every wizard knows what Iridescent Ink is and he thinks the ‘pillow’ is the one he saw you looking at in Hogsmeade. The snow globe on your list likely refers to the one featuring Diagon Alley with reindeer flying overhead. He remembers how you gushed over how cute the reindeer were and how magical Diagon Alley looked… Wait, is this supposed to be your Christmas wishlist? 

Severus’s head snaps to the snowman Christmas countdown, which lets him know that there are twelve days until your favorite holiday. Twelve days should be plenty to find all the gifts you want, but he still internally smacks himself for forgetting to buy gifts until now. 

He immediately straightens in his seat and rips his gaze from your journal when you enter the room, carrying two mugs of steaming liquid. You wrap your arms around him and Severus blushes crimson. Even though you’ve been dating for almost a year now, Severus reacts the same way whenever you touch him. “I can’t wait to cuddle with you tonight. It’s been extra cold recently.” You rest your head on his shoulder and gaze up at him.

Yes, his thoughts about the pillow were definitely right. The pillow shapes itself around both sides of your body and adjusts when you move. He remembers how you teased him when you said, “I need something to cuddle with when you’re not here to be my body pillow every night.”

“I regret not being here to keep you warm every night, though you know that my responsibilities at Hogwarts are the only factors keeping me away from you.” Severus blushes again at your closeness and looks down. On the weekends, Severus stays overnight at your Hogsmeade cottage. You snuggle so closely and wrap your legs around his so tightly that your bodies are practically fused together. Although he isn’t particularly fond of being confined underneath your body, he does appreciate the warmth that envelopes him. “Even when I am slaving away under Dumbledore’s orders, you can always use a warming spell on nights like these.” 

“Mmm, but I prefer it when you keep me warm.” Any thoughts about the hot chocolate awaiting him on the table flee his mind when you cup his face and kiss him on the lips.

After a night of suffocating cuddles, Severus untangles himself from your arms and slips out of the bed. When you stir awake and attempt to pull him back into the bed, Severus whispers an excuse about needing to retrieve essays to grade. You press a wet kiss to his cheek, murmur a farewell, and fall right back to sleep. He’s thankful that your shift at Scrivenshaft’s is later in the day since you won’t catch him apparating to Diagon Alley. 

Stores in Diagon Alley have just opened when Severus apparates there. He heads straight for Scribbulus Writing Implements to buy Iridescent Ink for you. Rows and rows of ink line the shelves, making it impossible for him to find Iridescent Ink among colors like Eccentric Emerald and Plum Paradise. After he finds three jars, he heads for Rosa Lee Teabag. Even if you didn’t ask for tea on your wishlist, Severus still buys a box of your favorite tea. Then, a book with moving illustrations displayed in the shop window of Flourish and Blotts catches his eye. His cheeks burn when the cashier asks if it’s for his child, but his momentary embarrassment is worth it since you love books with colorful, detailed illustrations. Perhaps it could be passed on to his future child too. 

He remembers seeing your desired snow globe at Ethereal Embellishments Emporium. House-themed snow globes line the top shelf and snow globes with a crackling fireplace lie below. Severus’s brow furrows when he notices that the Diagon Alley snow globe is missing. Try as he might to scavenge through the store and rearrange the shelves, Severus can’t find it. 

Even when he asks the store clerk if there are any Diagon Alley snow globes in their inventory, his inquiry remains unsuccessful. She comes back with a box containing a snow globe in the shape of a lantern. A snowman and snowwoman hug each other and wave at the person outside the glass while snow falls around them. Severus frowns as he turns the snow globe in his hand. One reason why you like the Diagon Alley snow globe is because of the cute reindeer flying overhead, and this snow globe has cute snowpeople. Even though it’s nice, it isn’t the one you wanted. After handing it back to the store clerk, her thanks her for her time and leaves the store. 

Awkwardly standing in the middle of the street, Severus feels a sense of dread as he considers where else he can find that snow globe. Dazzling Decorations Depot and Hartigan’s Holiday House both sell Christmas decorations. Though when he visits the two shops, he finds out that Hartigan’s has sold out of snow globes and Dazzling Decorations Depot doesn’t even sell snow globes. 

His dread turns into panic. He only bought the Iridescent Ink, which can be bought at any stationery shop. The Hogsmeade store that sells the pillow is closed on the weekends. He’s afraid that if he purchases it on Monday, you’ll catch him walking back to Hogwarts with the pillow in hand. He can’t buy the notepad from Scrivenshaft’s either since you work there today and it’s closed on Sunday. The only other day you have off is Tuesday, but it may be sold out by then. 

Of course, Severus can gift you items other than what’s on your wishlist. But what if you get angry that he didn’t get you everything on your wishlist? What if you don’t like the gifts he’s chosen for you? Would this ruin your Christmas? Examining the contents of the shopping bags from Rosa Lee Teabag and Flourish and Blotts, Severus can't shake the thought that the items he purchased aren’t good enough for you. 

After returning to Hogwarts, Severus drops off what he bought and retrieves the essays he actually does need to grade. He returns to your cottage and sits at your kitchen table, grading the essays. Reading his students’ subpar papers on the properties of Wolfsbane Potion does nothing to distract him from his thoughts, especially as he hears the toot of the train chugging around the Christmas village. You decorated your cottage in the Christmas spirit, make him Holiday Blancmange every weekend, and send sweet notes to his office in Hogwarts Castle. Meanwhile, he hadn’t even thought to start buying gifts until yesterday. 

Severus’s eyes brighten as you return home from work, but his gaze holds a bit of sadness as he thinks about what a poor excuse of a boyfriend he is. You laugh as you close the front door and quickly hide something behind your back. “Give me a second!” you say enthusiastically to him and dash into your bedroom. He finishes marking an essay as he hears you rearranging items in your room. 

You come back into the kitchen and wrap your arms around him from behind. “How was your day, sweetheart?”

“It can only ever be average when I must read my students’ atrocious papers,” he drawls and rests his hand over yours. “How was work? You are slightly later than usual.”

“It was stressful and the store was packed with people throughout my entire shift. You know, with it being the holiday rush and all.” You lean forward and kiss Severus’s cheek. “But I got something special for you.”

Feelings of guilt eat away at Severus’s heart and his shoulders droop, but he tries to shake it off before you notice. “Oh? Where is it?”

“You won’t get it until Christmas, silly.” You laugh and playfully push him. “By the way, what do you want to do for Christmas? I was thinking that we could just stay in and cook together. Oh! And what do you want to eat? We must have roast beef and I’ll bake any dessert you want.”

Severus thinks you look the most beautiful when you’re excited about something. Your eyes shine, you smile widely, and you shake his shoulders as you go on about whatever makes you passionate. He doesn’t deserve you, especially when you look as beautiful as you do now. He just smiles at you and mumbles,  “Whatever you want, I will be happy with.”

After classes end on Tuesday, he walks down to Hogsmeade to buy the pillow and notepad. Lumos Living is swarming with customers when he walks into the store. Unfortunately for Severus, the shape-shifting body pillow is so popular that there are none on the shelves.

Severus’s pointer fingers pick on his cuticles as he approaches a store clerk restocking the shelves in the bedding section. “Do you have any of the shape-shifting body pillows in stock?”

“Unfortunately, we don’t. But we’ll restock on Friday morning, so you can come back and check on that day!” Great, just great. Yet another item on your wishlist that Severus can’t buy. He huffs and thanks the clerk as he stomps out of the store.

Scanning the streets of Hogsmeade, Severus ensures you’re not around as he makes his way to Scrivenshaft’s. Just as you described your shift on Saturday, the store is packed with wizards and witches alike. He hasn’t seen the notepad you want before, but he remembers how you described it to him after you came home from your shift several weeks ago. Every time you pull a sheet out, the next sheet morphs into a completely different shape and design. 

The notepad and notebook section isn’t as busy as the rest of the store. There are flying notepads, notebooks that you can have conversations with, and notepads in the shape of a twinkling Christmas tree. Severus thanks Merlin when he finds the notepad you described and snatches it off the shelf before anyone else has a chance to grab it. 

Severus walks toward the long checkout line with a slight pep in his step only to freeze as he catches sight of you. Tuesday is your day off; why are you even here? He ducks behind a table displaying a stack of notebooks as you turn to look in his direction. It doesn’t seem like you notice him since you calmly walk over to your coworker at the register. 

The two of you have a brief conversation before your coworker hands you something. When you start walking in his direction, Severus dashes from the table to the opposite side of the store. You press something inside the keyhole of a door, which he assumes leads to the stockroom, without spotting your boyfriend. 

Severus feigns interest in the limited edition holiday quills as he waits for you to leave. He slowly sorts through the boxes of Festive Featherflame Quills and pretends to look for the best quill. Another customer gives him an impatient look when he takes too long, so he awkwardly steps to the side. He turns around to look at the door to the stockroom, but you still haven’t emerged. 

“Sev?” Severus jumps and begins to pick at his cuticles at the sound of your voice. He quickly shoves both the Festive Featherflame Quill and the notepad to the side. His eyes dart to a door beside the quill section, which has just closed shut. Realizing that this door also leads to the stockroom, Severus internally curses himself for not noticing it when he sprinted over here. “What are you doing here?”

“I… well, I am in need of ink and a quill,” Severus attempts to say nonchalantly. When your eyes wander to the shelf behind him, he turns his body to hide the two items from your sight. 

“Okay…” you say and frown. “I just wish you bought it during my shift.”

“I apologize, my love, but I did not realize that I needed these two items until this morning,” Severus lies again, but feels a genuine twinge in his heart as you frown. “Further, why are you here today if you are not working?”

“I left my coat here last night.” You still look a little upset, but you peck a kiss on his cheek nonetheless. “I’ve got to run. See you in a few days, okay?”

With a sigh of relief, he watches the front door close behind you. He quickly retrieves the notepad he threw to the side and makes his way to the checkout line, which is even longer than before. 

A bell from the second register rings, beckoning the next customer in line. He recognizes the store clerk helping him at the register as Mary, your favorite co-worker and the reason why you two are together. One chilly day in late November, Severus popped into Scrivenshaft’s to buy jars of ink. You caught Severus’s eye as he searched for ink and he could barely string a sentence together when you helped him at the register. Under the guise of buying ink and quills, he visited the store every few days, secretly reveling in the opportunity to admire you and exchange a few words with you. After several weeks, his office stationery drawer overflowed with ink and quills, and Mary noticed how enamored he was with you. During every free moment of your shifts, she teased you about him and eventually convinced you to make the first move. 

“Severus, hey!” Mary says enthusiastically and louder than he would’ve wanted. Several other customers and employees glance at Mary and him. “How’ve you been? What are you getting today?”

“I am well. I would like this.” Severus hands over the notepad, causing Mary’s eye to twinkle. 

“This one is so cute!” she gushes. Then, something seems to click in her mind and she gasps loudly, of course. “Wait! This is the one that your girlfriend wants!” 

Severus looks around to see even more people looking at them, causing him to sigh. Keeping this purchase a secret from you is practically an impossibility at this point. “Mary, please quiet down. I do not want her to know that I am purchasing this for her,” he attempts to say calmly, but a hint of impatience leaks into his voice. 

Mary makes a zipping movement over her lips and smiles giddily. “Don’t worry! I promise not to say anything.” She scribbles down the item and price on a record and then looks back up at him. “That’ll be five galleons.”Swiftly handing over the coins, Severus leaves the store with the notepad clutched firmly in his hand. 

When his final class before lunch concludes on Friday, Severus shoos his students from his classroom and rushes down to Hogsmeade. He’s nervous that he won’t make it back to Hogwarts on time since the lunch period isn’t long and the village is full of cheery citizens participating in holiday activities. Though what makes him sweat is the possibility that Lumos Living has already sold out of all the shape-shifting pillows they restocked this morning. He can’t afford any more bad luck when it comes to gift-giving. 

But unfortunately for Severus, his already minimal good luck has completely drained. There are no more shape-shifting pillows, no matter how many times he ransacks the store and sticks his hands into the crevices between the shelves. He mutters curses under his breath and stomps back to Hogwarts for the final classes of the day, where the students note that he is in an especially foul mood. 

His only consolation after all classes end for the day is that the Christmas holidays have just begun, so he can spend two whole weeks at your cottage. His heart soars with excitement as he heads down to Hogsmeade, yet simultaneously sinks with self-disappointment for not buying everything you asked for. 

When you arrive home from your shift, you stomp the snow off your boots and joyfully display a bottle of eggnog in your hands. “It was a little expensive, but why not? It’s Christmas and I get to keep you here for two weeks!” you cheerfully say as you hand him the eggnog. Severus waves his wand and pours two glasses as you continue, “I was thinking of going caroling after my shift tomorrow and I know you don’t like it, so I won’t drag you along. But I’ll make up for my lateness tomorrow night with smoked salmon for tonight’s dinner, okay?”

“That sounds delightful, my love,” Severus says quietly and sips his eggnog. Turning over the bottle in his hand, he sighs at your sweet gesture, which he feels he is unworthy of. 

As you wave your wand to summon all the ingredients for tonight’s dinner, you turn to Severus and frown at him. “Is everything all right, sweetheart?” you ask, concern clear in your voice. 

Severus looks into your eyes and sees genuine worry. He can’t bear the thought of ruining your day, so he forces a small smile and pulls you close to him. “Do not worry. I am fine. My head is merely spinning at the thought of the potions I have to brew for my stores over the Christmas holidays. At least those pesky students will not give me headaches for the next two weeks.”

You smile back at him and nuzzle your nose against his. “And I’ll start making dinner so you can get your head off things. But I still expect you to make one of your special drink concoctions.” 

As the evening progresses and you eat a delicious dinner, he enjoys spending time with you and listening to you rave about what your friends plan to do for Christmas. But no matter how hard he tries, he can’t shake up the feelings of guilt building inside him. 

As you head off for work and caroling the next day, he takes advantage of the time alone to do some final holiday shopping. The store clerks at Lumos Living inform him that the shape-shifting pillow won’t be stocked until after Christmas, so Severus resorts to buying a body pillow that changes temperature based on your body temperature. Pillow stuffed in a bag, he apparates to Diagon Alley to find the elusive snow globe. Neither can the Diagon Alley snow globe be found in any of the shops. After carefully inspecting all the other substitutes from Ethereal Embellishments and Hartigan’s, he decides to buy the snow globe with a ​​snowman and snowwoman hugging each other. At least you might appreciate the cheery, adorable faces of the snowpeople. 

As Severus wanders aimlessly around Diagon Alley with his store bags in hand, he ponders over whether to get you something from the surrounding stores. His memory flashes back to the first gift he gave you: a red glimmering potion that released tiny floating animals. Nothing has ever made him nearly as happy as when you threw your arms around him and gushed over it for weeks. Instead of buying other items at Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, he resolves to brew something similar to that potion. At least he knows you’ll like it. 

Upon his return to Hogwarts, Severus immediately sets up a large cauldron and assembles the required ingredients. Since it’s not an overly complicated potion, he adds extra details to make the gift even more special. Stirring the boiling water and dropping ingredients in as they’re required, he makes the potion sparkle green, gold, and red. After he waves his wand over photographs of you and him, the cauldron releases floating, moving images of the two of you. He smiles as two tiny figures float in the air: you and him standing in front of a zoo enclosure of mooncalves. 

He pours the finished potion into a large bottle and mulls over what else he should make using his potion skills. It may be too late to hang new ornaments on the tree, but Severus still decides to make liquid-filled ornaments for the following year. He prepares a potion similar to the one he made earlier, which also glimmers in the cauldron. Then, he transfigures clean potion bottles into the shapes of icicles and eggs and adds tiny, colorful glass pieces to design the eggs. Severus frowns as he inspects his uneven placement of the glass pieces on the eggs, but he hopes the ornaments still look enchanting enough as the potion swirls inside the glass. 

Over the next several days, you occupy almost every minute of Severus’s time. As a child, he never built snowmen or lay on the ground and made snow angels. Neither had he been brave enough to challenge the other children to a snowball fight or ride a sled down the small hill near his home. But when you two aren’t relaxing at your cottage or walking hand-in-hand at a Christmas event, you pull him outside and have fun in the snow. A snowman and snowwoman fashioned after the two of you still stand outside your front door, and Severus adjusts their twig arms so they continue to hold hands despite the harsh wind. No matter how many times you ride a sled together, his arms wrapped around your front remain stiff; yet when the two of you roll off the sled after crashing into something, he can’t help but crack a smile. And every evening that the two of you spend together, you walk through an enchanted Christmas wonderland the village of Hogsmeade has set up. Throughout all these festivities, Severus almost forgets how he’s failed in getting all the gifts you want. Almost. 

In the middle of the night between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Severus rushes to retrieve the gifts from Hogwarts and properly package them. With only a candle lighting up the room, Severus hunches over the kitchen table and waves his wand over the wrapping paper. The process of wrapping the Iridescent Ink, notepad, and potion gifts go smoothly. However, he pauses as his eyes roam over the snowpeople globe, temperature-changing pillow, box of tea, and illustrated book. Would it be better to not give you the second-best gifts or not give you a pillow or snow globe at all? Perhaps you would think he didn’t bother to find you everything on your list, so Severus reluctantly wraps up those two things. Along that same train of thought, he covers the box of tea and illustrated book with silver wrapping paper. Before he can overthink the gifts he’s wrapped, he waves his wand and sends them to rest at the foot of the tree. 

At precisely eight the next morning, Severus is shaken awake by you. He slowly opens his eyes and sees your eager face and messy morning hair right above him. “Wake up, Sev! Happy Christmas!” you squeal. You kiss him on the lips and scurry out of the room. 

Severus yawns and slogs out of bed. When he enters the living room, you run into his arms and kiss him. “When did you put all those gifts under the tree?” you ask excitedly. 

“When you were sleeping last night,” Severus says groggily and pulls you close to him. It’s an irrational thought, but he thinks that you might not open up his gifts if he holds you here all day. 

You wrap your arms around his neck and gaze adoringly up at him. “You know you’re the best boyfriend, right?”

He feels a twinge in his heart, but he forces a smile onto his face. “Do not flatter me, my love.” You laugh at him and gently push him away before he can hold you closer and prevent you from sitting under the tree. 

Severus holds his breath as you sort through the gifts, but then you pull out a package that he doesn’t recognize. You pat the floor next to you and hold the package above your head. “I want you to open all my gifts first.”

He takes the package from you and tenderly runs a hand over the green bow and red wrapping paper adorned with flying hippogriffs. Reluctant to rip away or lazily flick his wand over the wrapping you obviously put effort into, he slowly unties the bow and gently removes the wrapping paper. Inside is a packaged set of books on the Dark Arts, specifically rare volumes that he had expressed interest in several weeks ago. How did you even find these? How did you even remember that he wanted these? Severus looks up and notices the hopeful look in your eyes. He genuinely smiles at you and leans forward to kiss your cheek. “Thank you, my love. You are so very thoughtful.”

“Of course, Sev!” You turn to look for another gift and hand him a package even bigger than the last one. Again, you eagerly watch him as he carefully unwraps the gift. His mouth drops in awe as he uncovers the exquisitely crafted wooden box that serves as a travel potions case. The outside of the box is carved in the design of a tree and when he opens it, his name is engraved on the top section. Jars of potion ingredients are also stored inside the box, ranging from bat spleens to boomslang. You smile shyly at him and say, “I wasn’t very good at Potions, so I don’t know if those ingredients will be useful to you. But I did find a list of ingredients you’re running short of, so I bought those.”

Severus sets the box aside and embraces you. “No, no. This is the most beautiful trunk I have ever set my eyes upon and I am in need of all of those ingredients. You should not have done all of this for me,” he says quietly and his voice even breaks. His heart pounds wildly and his mind swarms with thoughts of how he doesn’t deserve this, how he doesn’t deserve you. You gave him this and the best thing he’s giving you is a silly lovey-dovey potion. Some tears form in his eyes and he quickly blinks them away before you notice them.

“Nope, I would get anything for you, Sev. I’m just afraid that the other gifts aren’t as nice as the last two,” you say as you rub his back. You pull away and summon a small present into your hand. “I know you like practical gifts, so I hope you like this one.”

Underneath the blue bow and icicle-themed wrapping paper, the clear box contains several red rubbers. You laugh as you spot the unintentional look of confusion on Severus’s face. “They’re Flubber Rubbers. I know you can’t usually remove the ink from your students’ essays, but these rubbers actually do remove ink and write encouraging comments in the margins. I thought these would help you stay more positive after Minerva scolded you for being too harsh.”

His cheeks burn and he glares at you, sending you into an even louder laughing fit. “I do not know if I should feel insulted or be grateful, though I suppose I can use these on essays that fall short of atrocious.” Internally, Severus is secretly very grateful that you would try to help him with his work as a professor. He takes in a deep breath and blinks, yet again fighting the tears that threaten to spill from his eyes. How did he ever manage to make you, an angel, his girlfriend?

Your hands grasp onto a large box with a red and green bow on the top, but then you pull your hand back and pass him another present. “I also got this one from Scrivenshaft’s. I hope you don’t already have this one,” you say a little nervously. 

Severus cocks his brow as he unwraps the gift, pondering over what you meant by “I hope you don’t already have this one.” Almost every stationery item he owns is from Scrivenshaft’s since he wants to support the shop you work at, but he doesn’t buy unique stationery items. He mostly purchases black and red ink, basic quills, and journals. Perhaps this is a leatherbound journal?

Severus lifts the lid of the box. Inside is what he assumes is a limited edition Christmas quill. He doesn’t recognize the bird from which the feather was plucked, but the feather has been dyed a deep red and flutters to increase and decrease in size. It’s nice, but he wouldn’t choose Christmas quills over basic ones. Why did you get this? Then, it clicks in his mind. Last week, you spotted him in the limited edition holiday quill section at Scrivenshaft’s. You must have thought that he wanted one of those quills, especially the Festive Featherflame. 

His lip trembles and he frowns deeply as he holds the quill in the palm of his hand. You notice everything about him, from the wanting looks at potion ingredients to how he lingers around a particular corner of the Dark Arts section of bookshops for too long. Severus now thinks that he isn’t nearly as observant as you are. What if you clearly wanted something, but he didn’t buy it for you because you didn’t verbally express interest in it? How many items has he now missed out on buying? Out of all the things you’ve given him so far, the item he didn’t necessarily want finally forces the tears out of his eyes. Severus’s shoulders shake and he pinches the quill a little too forcefully in his hands. What an utter failure of a boyfriend he’s been.

“What’s wrong? Do you not like it?” you ask quietly, but the concern is loud in your voice. You scoot closer to him and wipe the tears flowing down his cheeks. 

“No, it is not that. You notice everything about me and all of these gifts have been incredibly thoughtful,” he sobs. “Meanwhile, I could not even find you all the gifts on your wishlist.” Severus accepts your loving embrace and buries his face in your shoulder even though he knows he doesn’t deserve this. 

You pull back and furrow your brow in confusion as you ask, “Wait, what? How do you know I made a wishlist?” 

“I found it inside your journal around twelve days ago, I believe,” Severus says shyly and his cheeks burn with embarrassment. “I apologize if I invaded your privacy by looking at your journal. Though I swear that it was already open when I looked at its contents.”

“Hey, it’s fine. I was just wondering how you knew since I didn’t tell anyone.” You push a strand of hair behind his ear and kiss his cheek. As more tears pour down his face, you summon a handkerchief from a cabinet and hand it to him. “You really didn’t have to get me any of those things, Sev. I planned on buying all of them when they went on sale tomorrow.”

“But then what would I have given you for Christmas? You have given me so much and I bought gifts that are unworthy of you.” Although your loving touch has slightly calmed him down, his body still shakes and his voice breaks as he speaks. 

“Really, you didn’t have to give me any presents. This is corny to say, but having you here for Christmas is all that I wanted. I didn’t ask you for your wishlist nor did I give you my own since I think it’s better to give your loved ones thoughtful gifts rather than ones they’ve been begging for for months.” You pull away from him and sweep your hand over the gifts under the tree. “I was going to have you open all my presents first, but why don’t you let me open the ones you got for me?”

Severus shakes his head and looks down. “I do not want to disappoint you. I know Christmas is your favorite holiday, so I do not want to ruin your day.”

You sigh and cup his face again. “You could never disappoint me or ruin my Christmas, Sev. The fact that you’re even crying about this shows how much you care about me. You are the best boyfriend I’ve ever had and there is nothing that you can say that will convince me otherwise.”

Severus grunts a “fine” under his breath, but he glows internally at what you’ve said. He decides to hand you the present with the notepad first since he doesn’t want to get your hopes up with the potions present or disappoint you with the second-best gifts. 

As you carefully remove the wrapping paper like he had, Severus can tell you’re holding yourself back from ripping at it. When you uncover the notepad, your face lights up and you throw your arms around him. “This is why you were at Scrivenshaft’s without me! You’re so sneaky!” 

“You nearly caught me multiple times. Then, I nearly had a heart attack when you said hello to me.” He laughs at the memory and runs his hand over your hair. 

“Yeah, you looked pretty nervous.” You join him in his laughter and place the notepad on a nearby table. “What’s next?”

“This.” He points out the small box in golden wrapping paper. He realizes that his wrapping, even when he used a spell to do it, isn’t nearly as good as yours. “It is not special, but it was on your list.”

“If it’s from you, then it is special,” you say with a smile. Normally, he would roll his eyes when Dumbledore makes a statement like that. Yet you say things like that, he rolls his eyes and smiles. 

You quickly remove the wrapping paper from the Iridescent Ink and you embrace him again. “Thank you, Sev! I’ll use this to write notes when I’m at home. It’s too special to use at work.”

His hands shake as he hands you the pillow and the snow globe at the same time. Although you promised that this wouldn’t ruin your Christmas or that you wouldn’t be upset at him, Severus’s mind always goes to the worst. You reach for the snow globe first and squeeze the wrapping and padding before opening it. 

“Ooh, what’s this? It’s probably something fragile by the feel of it,” you comment. When you spot the cute snowman and snowmen waving at you, you squeal. “They’re so cute! That’s us! And they remind me of the snowman and snowmen outside too!” You run up and place your new gift on the table with your snow globe collection. “You know what? This is even better than the Diagon Alley snow globe.” And that makes a genuine, wide grin break out on Severus’s face for the first time that day. 

“I am glad. I hope you like the next one as much.” Once it’s free of its covering, you squeeze the temperature-changing pillow and sigh at how it adjusts to your body temperature. 

“I’m going to find a way to make this one Severus-temperature on the nights you’re away. But for now, I’m going to put this in the closet so it doesn’t get dirty.” 

After you get back, you open the tea box and the illustrated book. You promise to make two cups of that tea right after opening all the gifts, and your eyes light up at the moving illustrations. He tells you about the store clerk assuming that it was for his child, and you bury your face in your hands and laugh. 

“I saved the best two for last,” he says quietly and first gives you the potion ornaments. “I made everything myself.”

You unwrap the potion ornaments and your mouth drops in awe. The liquid swirls inside the glass and casts a mesmerizing glow onto the walls and the floor. You immediately wave your wand and hang each icicle and egg ornament on the tree, then tap them to change the color of the potion inside to match the colors on the tree. Severus anxiously watches to see how else you’ll react, but then feels a surge of relief when you turn to him, tears in your eyes. You embrace him for the millionth time that day and kiss him so passionately that he can hardly breathe. “This has to be the best gift I’ve ever gotten. Either this one or the animal potion you gave me several months ago,” you say breathlessly. 

Severus cries again and presses his forehead against yours. “That means you will adore the last present I have for you.” You pick up the box right beside you and tenderly open it. You sniff and continue to cry as you uncover the large bottle. Cradling it in your hands, you uncork the cap and are mesmerized by the tiny images of the two of you floating into the air: clinking your drinks at the Three Broomsticks, standing outside a glowing Diagon Alley shop, and wrapping your arms around him as he sits in his Hogwarts office. Your lip trembles and you sob even louder as you stare at the sentimental gift. With steady hands, you carefully place the bottle on the side table and hug him again. 

“I keep hugging you, but you deserve something even better tonight,” you whisper suggestively into his ear and laugh gently. Severus blushes and twiddles with his thumbs, trying to ignore the heat rising in other parts of his body. 

Every other present Severus opens jerks even more tears from his eyes: a scrapbook with photos of you and him, a vintage book on spells, and a candle set with subtle Christmas scents.  

After you both put your presents away, you brew the tea as promised and prepare a light meal. For the rest of the day, Severus helps you cook roast beef, roast potatoes, parsnips, rolls, smoked salmon, Holiday Blancmange, plum pudding, and chocolate cake. He continually fears that he’ll burn something or start a fire, but everything tastes delicious once you two finally sit down and eat. During the evening, you relax by the fireplace and the Christmas tree, sipping hot chocolate and talking for hours. When you two go to bed, well, Severus receives his last present of the day. Although the day isn’t full of sled riding down steep hills and he never expected to burst into tears as you exchanged gifts, Severus deems this the first perfect Christmas he’s had in his life. 

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Side B

Propaganda below ⬇️

Matt

Matt's faith in the show is really important and well explored; one of the first scenes of the show is Matt going to confession (or, well, talking to his priest since he's not really confessing at that point). Matt struggles a lot with what he's supposed to do; everyone's telling him to kill the villain and he kinda wants to, but he literally says: "I know my soul is damned if I take his life". He struggles with his faith and goes with his doubts to his priest, and it's beautiful—also when he finally gets a costume for his vigilanteing he chooses to dress as the devil, lol. (His priest tells him that nothing makes people run to Church faster than the feeling of having the devil on their heels.)

a lot of the show is about how he justifies his vigilante actions with his faith, and whether he's doing the right thing in trying to help people or just using it as an outlet for his anger. the literal first scene of the show has him in a confession booth talking to his priest (who is a really interesting character too). this is not the scene I was talking about but it's such an excellent scene with matt talking to his priest: https://youtu.be/XHZ3NbEIDdw

canonically catholic but dresses like a demon to be quirky

honestly i dont wanna type too much but i feel that matt is a great example of someone who battles with his faith because he rarely loses his faith but rather fights with why he was made the way he was and put through what he was. He believes himself to have the devil inside him but believes that God put him there

ok in the comics barring the most current run matt has Mostly been a non-practicing Catholic that very rarely actually does any catholic Activities but ends up falling back into the Mindset and very occasionally dramatically taking confession (ex. in that one issue where he takes confession, basically tells the father that he is uniquely terrible and is thinking about violently murdering someone and when the father says "you can be forgiven" hes like "AUGFH-- NO!!!!!!!!!!" and runs out) when he's gone through some shit. and i love that its so relatable

hello its me cct organizer. i have to come clean, i made this tournament because i need matt to win something. i dont think hell win the sadboy and he lost the ginger tournament and >:( hes my favoritest guy ever. Also @ who said he has religious trauma is wrong and i will fight u about it (nicely) on my main @usaigi

This guy so catholic he spends an ungodly amount of time just chilling in the church. And goes there whenever there is a moral conundrum about killing people being Bad even though it would solve a lot of problems and stop said people from killing other people. This happens every other episode. Matt is the Catholic Guilt Guy. There's actually a lot of catholic stuff in the show as a whole. Just a compilation would be like three whole episodes long.

Hes great hes catholic enough to not outrught murder people but not catholic enough to not fuck before marriage hes a bisexual disaster at all times hes besties with a priest might i add hes great hes my special little guy

his catholicism is a huge piece of his characterisation he was raised by nuns in a catholic orphanage, the first scene we ever see him (as an adult and not a flashback) is him going to confession, he is good friend with his priest and has regular debates with him, etc also in s3 he has a huge crisis of faith after he lost A Lot where he stops believing for a while and it's linked to his identity crisis where he actually wants to kill another person (a hard line he previously chose never to cross) and wants to be only daredevil and not matt murdock, when he is both and needs both to exist also when he was a kid his grandmother used to say "watch out for the murdock boys, they've got the devil in them" and it created a surprising lot of his issues

So he's both catholic in the comics and the show but he's More Catholic in the show. Like, raised in a catholic orphanage by nuns (ONE OF WHICH IS HIS *MOTHER*), second scene in the show has him in a confession box kind. Matt Murdock goes out and gets the shit beaten out of him nightly and also beats the shit out of other people and purposefully leaned into devil iconography as his theme. When his nurse friend says, he takes a lot of punishment without one complaint he says "That part's the Catholicism." It is a Core Aspect of his character (at least in the show). He makes me insane. Also the same chemicals that blinded him created the teenage mutant ninja turtles and everyone should know that.

They went to confession to a priest who they had saved as their costumed counterpart and the guy recognized them by the voice, proving that it's possible and everyone else is just dumb

he takes "i wanna fight god" to new and incredibly violent levels, while also being a sweetheart and a goofball

Actually strictly WILL NOT kill criminals. Goes wayyy out of his way to avoid it. Fights with the Punisher about it. Goes to confession booth after nightly vigilante excursions. Feels so much guilt. "How have you been holding up?" "Like a good Caltholic boy" "that bad huh" - actual conversation with his priest

So Daredevil struggles with his mission as a crime fighter because killing criminals goes against his faith. He makes it a point to not kill criminals, believing that even bad people deserve a second chance. This philosophy puts him at odds against The Punisher, who is a relentless killer. As a Catholic myself, while I love the concept of a morally conflicted superhero, I think the worldbuilding around Daredevil is lacking. If he struggles with violence and killing, why doesn't he pray to warrior saints like Saint Michael, Saint Ignatius of Loyola (a former knight), or Saint Joan of Arc? Why isn't there a community of other Catholics he can turn to for guidance, considering New York City has a sizeable population of Catholics? And why are the churches he goes to always empty? Doesn't he know that the Catholic Church supports the just war theory? I think that would have made his burden more bearable.

He goes to church and confesses to punching people and says "imma do it again can i apologize in advance" and the father dude says "no you're meant to stop now" and Matt says "no" and they do this everyday. I'm not remembering it properly but this is a canon interaction i swear

HELLO HI YES I LOVE HIM AND WILL INFOR DUMP ok so. he is a vigalantty and he got named daredevil and he is an orphan and after the age of 12 was raised in an orphanage at a Catholic church and his therapist is his priest via confession abd. also his mother is a nun he has a whole mental breakdown over god and called Job a pussy because he liked god until he got better and liked god again he said "I'm dearedrvil and not even god can stop that now" and he's so cool

matt is a freakish little babygirl who was raised by nuns and definitely has religious trauma. i hate him so much (affectionately)

he’s literally fucking insane about it i don’t know what to say here. he thinks he’s chosen by god to go on some sort of holy quest to save hell’s kitchen. joan of arc ass.

i already know hes in by default j just wanted to give him a personal shout out i love this angsty catholic dweeb

how practicing he is depends on the run, but in my favorite he is quite literally confessing to a member of the last extant order millitant who happens to be a priest at a church in hells kitchen.

i love him for having the funniest version of a trope i usually hate (person gets into confession booth and asks forgiveness not for what they've done, but for what they're about to do). usually this trope just looks silly to me bc like. the priest would just say "i can't do that" and you would have to either awkwardly explain yourself or just Leave. it's funny when matt does it because fr. lantom is probably like "what are you gonna do???" and matt's like "lol. lmao. 😊 hehehe." anyway we love this angry catholic man who dresses up like the devil to beat people up in hell's kitchen

Harrowhark

I'm pretty sure you've already got plenty of submissions for her so I'll just say she was raised in what is basically a cult (technically a nunnery but let's be real) dedicated to keeping the body of the thing that will kill God behind the rock. One of their prayers is actually "I pray the rock is never rolled away". Harrow is extremely devout as penance for her earlier heretical actions in the tomb as a child (spoiler!) so the Catholic guilt really comes through

imagine being a catholic nun and you meet god, but it turns out he’s a twitch streamer from new zealand who became god because everything got a little bit out of hand. and just before you met him you gave yourself a diy grief-fuelled lobotomy with the help of your best frenemy. imagine how insane you’d be. now multiply that insanity by nine. that’s the fictional love of my life right there.

she meets god. she’s not inspired

she’s number one practitioner of space Catholicism. The locked tomb is chock full of Christian (catholic) imagery themes metaphors etc. just look at her she’s got a bone rosary

They're Catholicism with extra bones. Everyone is a nun. They have what is basically a rosary made from knuckle bones. They technically worship the same God as everyone else, but they're waaaay more focused on The Body in the Tomb (Mary) and we get a moment where we find out that while everyone else prays the equivilent of The Lords Prayer, they're doing the equivilent of Hail Mary. And they paint their faces with skulls.

She thinks leaving dry bread in a drawer is taking care of someone. She's in love with a 10,000 year old corpse (the same one they worship). She spent ALL NIGHT digging with her bare hands to make sure a field had bones every 5 feet so she could fight her girlfriend - I mean, greatest enemy. Spoiler territory: She's been puppeting her parents corpses since she was 8 years old. Instead of grieving her dead girlfriend, she gives herself a lobotomy. She makes soup with bone in it so she can use the bone IN THEIR STOMACH to try and kill them.

The author is/was Catholic and the entire series had heavy Catholic overtones. https://www.tor.com/2020/08/19/gideon-the-ninth-young-pope-and-the-new-pope-are-building-a-queer-catholic-speculative-fiction-canon/ A good breakdown of how it's Catholic

[dollmoth-productions]

HiHi! I wanted to request a Platonic Yandere Hazbin ( the hotel cast ) Hotel! With a teen reader if you do teen reader!

I'd like it to be able a shy teen reader that has been staying at to hotel either running away after an argument or giving them a little friendship bracelet!!

I just did the main cast. I will add on if you guys want me too.

PLATONIC YANDERE HAZBIN CAST

⚠️ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR AND DRUGGING AND FORCED KISSING STOCKHOLM OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STALKING POSSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STOCKHOLM SYNDROME MANIPULATION ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR AND DRUGGING AND FORCED ITS NOT HEALTHY ⚠️

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Charlie

💝 she thought it would be a good day, dear for you because well you’re still a kid you’re the youngest out of everyone being only 16 when he died so she thought it might remind you of when you were alive

💝 she bought all the necessary items for friendship, bracelets, and definitely is the most wholesome the least Violent and obsessive just more overbearing 

💝 when she got her friendship bracelet from you, she did not stop wearing she wore it in the shower

💝 she really does love you and likes how you participate in the activities. She just wonders why you’re here and not in heaven. You’re still a kid so you couldn’t have done anything that bad.

💝 she cried when she got hers 

Vaggie

💜 to you, you remind her of Heaven’s unfair judgment she tries her best to make you feel more welcome here as well as she could be

💜 definitely one of the most protective over you the fact that you’re still young and you’re in hell is unfair to her. You did nothing wrong.

💜 after the activity where she got her friendship bracelet, she wears it a lot. It makes her feel safe, knowing that they’re still kindness left here.

💜 she’s the one of the most protective besides alastor that’s the only reason why they kind of got along is to protect you

Nifty

🐞 she is chaotic very chaotic. She’s constantly scattering around you and checking up on you. She might be older than you but she’s more like a younger sister.

🐞she has named roaches after you for her roach puppet shows

🐞 When she got your below friendship bracelet, she wore it all the time like all the time it’s insane she likes running around with you and letting you help her do chores 

🐞 when I said she’s chaotic she is chaotic. She has killed people for you multiple people you don’t know but she has!

Angel

🕷️ because he had a sister and a brother when he was alive he knows a thing or two about being a brother so he’s less risqué

🕷️ angel dust is probably a fun person to hang out with a terrible influence, but a fun person nonetheless he genuinely loves hanging out with you. Reminds him of his time when he was alive with Molly.

🕷️ sometimes he wonders if redemption works because then he could actually help you with the friendship bracelet, so it can properly fit around his wrist

🕷️

Husk

🃏 grumpy but excepts it either way he in fact where is it but just doesn’t tell you and hides it so you don’t notice

🃏 he tries to hide from alastor he doesn’t want you to be influenced by him. He scared what he could do to you.

🃏 he shows you a bunch of card tricks whenever you’re sad he likes to see you smile 

Alastor

❤️ quite literally you’re the only one that she is the nicest too Alastor dressing you up in his time period clothing he sees you more like his child from another parent

❤️ he loves seeing you as a little doll and also a child sometimes he takes you around cannibal town just a font you

❤️ he’s not one for jewelry but he he did wear it. He did wear the friendship bracelet mostly because he found it adorable that you would give something to him and then he gave it to his shadow because he would not be seen out in public with that.

❤️ he gives you affectionate names in French although you know nothing of friendship it’s quite sweet of him to do that but mostly he calls you “his fawn emphasis on his

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

This one took longer mostly because I lost a lot of motivation to write in the middle of it so sorry it took so long :3 this was fun

[vendetta-if]

Am I the only one that thinks asking Ash to change and be less violent just feels a bit too...controlling in a way I guess? I just wouldn't want someone to feel pressured to change on my behalf simply because I disagreed with something they did, but at the same time they are more than willing to make the effort and tell MC as such. I'm very conflicted and I humbly seek your wisdom and guidance in this matter.

I don’t think I can really offer any solid advice, because at the end of the day, everyone has their own set of morals, priorities, and limitations. But I can talk a little bit more about it and maybe offer some more insight.

Honestly, this is such a grey area that I can see the reasonings behind those who pick to change Ash or those who choose not to 🤔

Those who do, which I think, are most likely merciful MCs who are disturbed by Ash’s show of violence might see it as a way to help Ash change to be a “better person”, at least in their eyes and according to their moral values, or for Ash’s own good (just like Ash’s reasoning behind executing the commissioner for MCs who couldn’t).

But, as you also pointed out, asking someone to change their nature might be perceived as being too controlling for some people, and it doesn’t help that Ash has never tried to change or ask Merciful MC to change to conform more with what they think would be best for MC.

Recognizing that some people might regret making Ash promise them to change in Chapter 3 after executing the commissioner for MC, I gave another chance/option to later on tell Ash that they don’t really want Ash to change, even for them, and that what they said that night was something said in the moment of intense emotion.

Another thing that I can maybe add in case it might help you make your decision is that Ash would not change 180 degrees just like that; it’s not easy to change someone’s nature, even if they really want to do it for someone they love and care about.

Ash would just learn to hold themselves back more, especially in the presence of MC so as not to upset them. Where they might have killed the person, they might simply beat them up within an inch of their live. It’s like the most convenient and reasonable compromise that they can settle for MC in such a short amount of time; they’ve become slightly more merciful in a way, but still able to unleash their violent tendencies as well.

Honestly, I can’t see a world where Ash would truly become merciful, no matter how long it takes 🤔 The most would be not much different than the one I explained above. Ruthlessness is just something that has been ingrained in them and it’s something that’s constantly rewarded in their line of job and as someone who often operates in the world of criminals.

[night-market-if]

Spoiler Ask

So I'm going to address it all here under the cut because I've gotten a few asks in that are pretty similar and I'm sure I'm going to get more. So I thought instead of answering the same thing over and over, I'd just do a response below. Warning, spoilers for the end of book 1.

Full disclosure. I am sick. We are going through a lot of family things at the moment. My patience is probably thin.

For everyone that says MC is already too forgiving of Milo. Milo has not even come into the story yet. You've only observed memories of him. If you feel like you need an inner dialogue to tell you how angry you are over this "betrayal" or "death", I don't know what to say here. Because MC is literally just observing things at the moment. Any options that have been put forth to comment on Milo and what has happened, have been more to lay ground work and to also give a scope of the type of emotions that will be offered in the game. But literally, Milo has not even shown up yet into the story in a real capacity. So please stop sending me asks about how you are upset that MC has "forgiven" him because there has literally been no real interaction between Milo and the MC.

As for this betrayal and death thing. I am going to state this now for those who aren't going to like where my story is going so you don't need to read if you don't want to. As the Night Market, you knew you were going to die. You gladly came down and wanted to experience death. You looked at what Milo (a non magic user) was doing, and said "hey, this would be a cool experience" and then you came down here. So, yes, you are going to feel the full range of emotions that come with it. But you are also going to need to take some personal accountability for your actions. That is what is going to be explored in this book. An entity that didn't realize what emotion actually meant, came down thinking it wasn't going to be a big deal to die, and it turned out it was a big deal. A big fucking deal, in fact and that by doing so, they actually hurt people they loved. So, don't forgive Milo. I'm not forcing anyone to. But, I will not be writing an MC that puts all the blame on him. Because guess what? The Night Market would have died if he didn't do what he did. So, everyone also saying that he killed the MC? No, he literally saved the MC and billions of people. And I don't care what way you spin it? One person is never worth a billion souls. And with the MC being someone that literally cut themselves open over and over again to save most of the people living within the world, I would think they would probably not be too keen on Milo sacrificing them so they could die together in some bullshit Romeo and Juliet act.

Now, I am all for exploring how an MC comes to terms with the feeling of betrayal along with the feeling of needing to take responsibility. I am all for exploring an MC that goes "holy shit this emotion thing is way bigger than I thought and I'm angry and confused". I'm there for it. I'm excited to write it. But, I will not be writing a willfully ignorant MC that doesn't take into account that they did this to themselves as well. And yes, if you choose to not acknowledge it in game, others are going to acknowledge it for you. If you want to not read because you can't become a villain, rock back and forth in a corner and weep, or violently get mad at someone who saved the world? That's cool. I'm not offended by someone not reading it. Anyone coming into my ask box and saying "I just am not going to read now because you aren't doing xyz" I wish you a good night and hope you find something else for you because there are thousands of stories out there.

I am not interested. Nor will I ever be interested. In writing a story where I add to the plague of ignorance that is this world. Aren't we kind of all struggling enough with that in our own lives? MC is a being of compassion. They will always be a being of compassion. That is going to shift and change based on circumstances and there are going to be moments where that compassion can fall into question. When it comes to Milo, it is going to be a messy bit of confusing emotions because there is so much more than just the black and white strokes of "OMG he killed me" that seemed to be the rhetoric on here. Now, you don't want his character around? Alright. Other than when you have to see him for Gatekeeper purposes, you probably won't.

To all of you guys complaining or sending me ask after ask stating how you don't like what I am doing. I am going to tell you this and it will not ever change. If you don't like reading this, then don't read. I am not here to write a story for you specifically. You don't like the direction of a work and can't ever broaden your scope of fiction to give it a shot? Then please don't. But to have this kind of messages coming through when literally we are a chapter in? Seriously. The instant gratification is bullshit. I'm going to suspect this is coming from the younger half of my audience who is way too accustomed to a confirmation bias internet algorithm and who has had a very small scope of real life. This is of course not all of the younger crowd but it's starting to seem like a pretty good amount.

I love having conversations with everyone. My discord is always open but most of you anons hide because you are far too scared to come at me with your user name or engage in a conversation feed where more than just me can answer. I mean, you guys send me asks, citing others user names, to call them out through me. It's laughable at this point.

I love having discourse with all of you but I'm not going to keep answering the same thing over and over again and justifying my work when it doesn't need to be justified. This is a small little bit of fiction in a vast sea.

If I sound pissed, it's because I am at this point. And I'm sure I'll get more asks in that are stating they are jumping ship or that they are disappointed in me or what not. I'll delete them and move on with my evening.

To all of you who are here for the ride and just want to experience what I'm writing? Thank you. Fiction is just meant to be a form of entertainment. I am not writing anything profound. To anyone that is looking for something more, move on. I'll see everyone who wants to get mad or saying I'm too harsh, in my inbox, I am sure. Thank god you can block anons.

[jester089]

HI there, hate to bother you but i was wondering if you could do the amazing digital circus head canons for a gn! reader who acts a lot like ena

if you have never heard of it you can check on the ena wiki but i would really love if you did something like this so thanks

Emotions are hard

I have watched ƎNA and enjoyed it but it's a little hard to know how to write for that. What I took away from it is ƎNA had mood swings and their appearance and personality changes based off that. Also didn't specify platonic or romantic so I did neither. Just base how they think of you. You only asked for "acts like ƎNA" so that's what I'll do. Also the different emotions/personalities I used are Normal (happy), Normal (sad), (sad), (full sad), (drunk). It's hard to explain so if you wanna understand watch ƎNA by Joel G on youtube. TADC crew x ƎNA Reader

Caine

You were a lot to handle. It's not that Caine disliked you or anything but the fact that you can go from perfectly fine with no problems to screaming at people to kill you cause you deserve it can be hard to keep up with. I do honestly feel that he would handle it the best out of everyone though. You change from (normal happy) to (normal sad) without any real warning so he would just go along with it. Now the fact that the sadness of happiness can kid of take over and lead to you trying to force people to kill you (sad), or slurring your words and insulting just about everything cause you find it funny (drunk) is a more concerning development.

Gangle

You freak Gangle out. She understands harsh mood swings to some degree as that's basically what her masks do. But yours are a lot more, violent? Not physically violent but your emotions can get the better of you end you end up puking up static because it's too much. Gangle avoids you when she can. She can't really handle you.

Zooble

You would annoy Zooble. She spends most of her time either in her room or avoiding the others anyways so it's not like it maters to her a ton. But if she does get caught near you or in a conversation with you while you change up if it gets to her to much she will without a doubt yell at you to stop being annoying and get ahold of yourself. She's already on a mental energy of 0% and hates everyone there. So don't feel bad when you end up hated too.

Kinger

Kinger would be ok with you, when your feeling normal and happy at least. When you are your respectful and well spoken something he really appreciates. So he'll hang out with you, some times. When he is willing to handle you mood swings he'll hang around you. And I feel like you two could have a genuinely nice time. (One time as a joke you said you were basically his squire at this point. Without a second thought he knighted you with a broken chair leg. And since then you two have been doing some not serious and fun medieval type things.)

Ragatha

Ragatha sadly also avoids you. It's not that she hates you or anything! It's just that she is already dealing with a lot keeping everyone sane. Then you add another element of chaos one which can lead to either suicidal things, insults, or making everyone thing of abstraction. She just can't handle it. So she keeps away from you. She feels bad over it, it's just her mental state was already fragile. And you don't exactly help with that.

Jax

Jax would probably like you the most. No not cause he likes you. Because your reactions are funny. He can poke and prod at you or call you names and every time you give some kind of funny (to him) reaction. So he spends a lot of time with you. Only because he loves making your days harder and watching you breakdown when he pushes it to far. Doesn't mean he'll stop.

Pomni

Oh gosh, Pomni is gonna avoid you like the plague. You think she can handle you?! When she was already going insane from this place just existing. No. Sorry but no. If she is feeling particularly stable and you seem to be in a good mood she'll have a conversation with you. And she does enjoy your company. Really she does. But then you go and switch to screaming at her about something in the middle of a perfectly calm conversation and she just, walks away. She is not going to deal with that. Not here, not now. (Sadly I feel like ƎNA wouldn't be well taken in the digital circus. It's just their are so many problems already, most being mental. And you do not help with that.)

xoxo, Jester

[yanderes-galore]

So, it started!

Fandom: FNAF

Character: The mimic

Type of fic: concepts

I don't think there's much to add for this plot that wasn't said in that brainrot that was posted some time ago about him.

-🐻

Yeah, sure! I'll see what I can do for The Mimic. In this concept I refer to the character as just "The Mimic"/It as I'm not sure if there's a canonical gender pronoun (Wiki says The Mimic is Genderless and says "It")?

Also, FNAF related side note; I love how I've seen a 🦊🐻 and 🐇 anon but no chicken XD It would've fit so well. There may have been a 🐣 anon but they never interacted so idk....

Potential spoilers for FNAF: Ruin and Tales From The Pizzaplex?

Yandere! The Mimic Concept

Pairing: Romantic (It thinks so, at least)

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Murder, Blood, Stalking, Kidnapping, Forced affection, Forced "relationship".

The Mimic does exactly what you think it would.

It mimics what's around it... that's how it's survived this long.

It's creation was meant to be an AI that learns and mimics things it sees.

This is how The Mimic learned to copy its creator's son, it's also how it learned violence.

Mimicking what's around it caused so many gruesome murders by its hands.

The Mimic takes up violent behavior way before you even meet it.

It's locked away underground yet occasionally still finds new victims.

How it transitions into yandere territory is this according to the brainrot I was sent:

It copies other behavior.

Maybe The Mimic sees two Pizzaplex workers getting a bit too... friendly with each other.

Perhaps on the job they decided to use the private time to show some affection.

Holding hands... hugging... kissing... telling each other they love one another.

The typical stuff you'd see with couples.

Sadly... they quickly become victims of The Mimic.

But not before The Mimic learns something new.

The Mimic learns a new thing to copy... compassion.

Or at least... a twisted form of compassion.

The Mimic picks up on what couples do, yet the violence it learned before still lingers in its code.

Who knows, maybe the AI even finds jealousy to copy from the same couple or some other workers.

That or jealousy is something it learns on its own.

The Mimic is finding ways to process these new lessons and behaviors up until you find your way into the underground Pizza Place.

You could be another guard sent to clean things up or just an outsider who managed to find themselves stuck here while exploring.

Either way, as you roam the underground levels, you're being stalked.

The shambling Frankenstein of a bot follows you around yet its intentions are unclear.

It stays out of your view and it processes what it wants to do next.

It's mind goes to violence again... like all the rest.

Then it thinks of something else... copying how those other humans treated one another.

Their interactions appeared... softer... more positive.

The bot recalls when it was once praised and cared for.

It remembers being playful and being treated well.

Perhaps it feels it wants to recreate that... it wants to feel that love again.

For this concept The Mimic's actions could be interpreted as "Romantic".

Yet that's mostly because that's what it saw.

If it saw more platonic actions it would mimic those with you, but I'm going to make this concept more akin to the brainrot I was given a long time ago.

Either way... The Mimic intends to feel loved again.

With you as its target of affection.

Your encounter with the bot is no doubt creepy.

First of all, the appearance of the bot is mixed parts and strangely humanoid compared to its more animal-like peers.

Then there's the fact it can mimic voices.

The Mimic would use the voices of victims to lure you closer to it

It would then try to mash together voices to communicate with you.

It also doesn't have much of a moral compass.

So when it eventually comes up to you to act out the affection its mimicked, it has no idea its wrong.

When it eventually corners you, you fully expect to die.

Maybe the machine even has dried blood on it from previous victims.

You cower in place... expecting some sort of physical blow.

Only for the machine to kneel down in a clunky fashion and lightly reach out to you.

You feel cold and rusted metal on you skin as the bot tests things out.

It tries to find a comfortable way to speak with you and not scare you.

You may even feel the tall and lanky seven foot bot pick you up to stand you in your feet.

For being a killing machine... towards you it appears oddly friendly.

More than friendly actually... affectionate.

It tries small things with you.

Things like grabbing your hand and just holding it, maybe even patting your head.

Then there's times it holds you a bit too tight.

Or it feels it's appropriate to press its rusted teeth to your skin in what can only assume is a kiss?

Or it's biting you?

You can't tell and really don't wish to know.

As you roam about the Pizza Place, The Mimic follows.

You feel uneasy as it clinks and clanks around behind you.

Glowing eyes never leave you as it tries to learn from you.

The Mimic would definitely copy things from you.

It copies your voice and movements in an attempt to relate and appeal to you.

If it looked different and didn't murder... one could find it twistedly cute.

The Mimic still keeps the violent behavior it learned, however.

For example, if you were a worker and another guard came down to check on you, The Mimic reacts with hostility.

Or if you came to explore the ruins with a friend?

It doesn't like the idea of this other person touching or talking to you.

Up to this point The Mimic hasn't displayed violent tendencies with or around you.

You've been able to tolerate its strangeness towards you.

Things go down hill the moment another person is involved.

Like some sort of switch... the moment its eyes lock onto your friend/coworker, it stops playing nice.

Before you can say anything The Mimic attacks.

You scream yet it doesn't respond.

The bot pounces on your companion and tears into them like an animal.

There's blood... gore... the sight in unbearable and horrid.

Yet it's not like you can do anything.

They're long gone by the time The Mimic touches them.

As a result, you run.

You run to look for an exit and escape.

The Mimic is disappointed when it stops attacking as sees you gone.

In an attempt to find you it leaves its mess behind to search.

Things change by this point.

The Mimic still has a twisted sense of affection towards you.

But you don't see it as harmless anymore.

The Mimic doesn't understand the fear you hold towards it.

When it finds you it tries to mimic the behavior it learned from you.

Although you don't respond positively as you can see it dripping in blood.

The moment you met The Mimic, your fate was sealed.

This is because it doesn't plan on even letting you leave.

It will just drag you deeper underground and continue to mimic affection towards you.

It won't kill you... but if you fight it...

It's violent behavior does tell it to break something of yours to make you comply.

The Mimic is a very interesting character in this sort of story.

All its doing is mimicking and learning due to its adaptable AI.

It isn't entirely conscious of its actions, at least not to the degree of other bots.

A yandere Mimic is the result of a poor combination of events.

If The Mimic was properly contained... you'd probably never be in this situation...

Yet now you're here... locked away underground... with a robotic amalgamation watching over you like a hawk.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 9

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

The next morning, they had to sit next to each other.

me when i’m a high school junior and had a huge falling out with my best friend who i’m totally not in love with last night but we still have to coexist in ap english class

The joint thrones today were under a silk awning, raised to protect Laurent’s milkmaid skin from the sun.

BRUTAL

Lady Vannes murmuring into the ear of a new female pet

oooooh what happened to the old one? drama alert!!

A part of Damen acknowledged, a little guiltily, that Laurent probably hadn’t deserved to get thrown around the training arena as a result.

laurent would disagree

Nikandros said, without looking next to him, ‘Your uncle has wiped out half of our army with two hundred men.’ ‘And a belt,’ said Laurent.

nikandros private twitter vent #11. incoherent violent stick figure jpegs

Damen said, ‘At least someone else has a chance to win at javelin.’

i understand that people like sports and it’s a fun thing to add to a pretty serious story but i am the buzzkill here and ugh. sports

In the stands, slaves rhythmically raised and lowered fans and brought shallow cups of wine that everyone drank except Laurent.

me getting ginger beer at the bar yesterday while the dude i was with drank an espresso martini and two whiskeys

He came forward naked, as was the custom in Akielos.

i feel like violent dangerous sports are a really good occasion to wear MORE clothing, but go off i guess

The two men scooped oil from the receptacle brought to them by the stewards, anointed their bodies with it, then they slung their arms around one another’s shoulders, and, on the signal, heaved. The crowd cheered, the men grappled, their bodies straining against each other in slippery hold after slippery hold, until Pallas finally had Elon panting, on the grass, the sounds an eruption from the crowd.

this is like the not-evil twin of the veretian court wrestling

Damen rose from the throne, and put his hand to the gold brooch at his shoulder. His garment dropped and the crowd roared its approval.

you know, damen’s lack of freaking out about some of the indignities of the veretian court make more sense now

‘Good fight,’ he said, taking his place again on the throne beside Laurent. He waved over some wine. ‘What is it?’ ‘Nothing,’ said Laurent, and found somewhere else to put his eyes.

hang in there buddy

‘What can we expect next? I really feel,’ said Vannes, ‘it might be anything.’

i love the slight disdain here

‘Who did this to you?’ ‘I did,’ Laurent said. Damen turned. Laurent stood in the entryway of the tent. He was arranged with elegant grace and his lazy, blue-eyed attention was all on Nikandros. Laurent said, ‘I meant to kill him, but my uncle wouldn’t let me.’ Nikandros took an impotent step forward but Damen already had a restraining hand on his arm. Nikandros’s hand had gone to the hilt of his sword. His eyes were on Laurent furiously. Laurent said, ‘He sucked my cock too.’ Nikandros said, ‘Exalted, I beg permission to challenge the Prince of Vere to a duel of honour for the insult that he has done to you.’ ‘Denied,’ said Damen. ‘You see?’ said Laurent. ‘He has forgiven me for the small matter of the whip. I have forgiven him for the small matter of killing my brother. All praise the alliance.’ ‘You flayed the skin from his back.’ ‘Not personally. I just watched while I had my man do it.’ Laurent said it with a fronded, long-lashed gaze. Nikandros looked physically sick with the effort of repressing his anger. ‘How many lashes was it? Fifty? One hundred? He might have died!’ Laurent said, ‘Yes, that was the idea.’

LAMEN HR COMPLAINT #8

god i FUCKING love this little confrontation. i appreciate how we can start easing into some more comedy with these specific characters, because nobody here is like actively enslaved or abused. they’re all on even footing, so shots can be fired for fun, and can be read as such. the analysis here, in short, is that damen and laurent are both insane about each other and nikandros just has to deal with it. laurent thinks it’s amusing to mess with nikandros, and to a lesser degree damen. and damen tolerates it because he knows laurent behind his performative cruelty, but can’t possibly explain that to nikandros. regardless, laurent has immunity from damen, which means he also has immunity from nikandros.

this is also a good way to show how both damen and laurent have started “settling” the matters of damen killing auguste and laurent punishing him in vere, since the last scene where both subjects were heavily referenced.

Angry as he was, Nikandros wouldn’t disobey a direct order. His training was too deeply ingrained.

i like this subtle moment. damen grew up in the same culture, yet one of his main Things in this series has always been disobeying orders he disagrees with. built different!

‘Why would you do that? He’ll defect.’ ‘He’s not going to defect. He is your most loyal servant.’ ‘So you push him to breaking point?’ ‘Should I have told him I didn’t enjoy it?’ said Laurent. ‘But I did enjoy it. I liked it most near the end, when you broke down.’

laurent calculated and performative cruelty to protect himself from being vulnerable, you know the drill by now

‘You didn’t have to come here. You could have sent a messenger.’ In the pause that followed, Laurent’s gaze shifted involuntarily sideways. A strange prickling passing over his skin, Damen realised that Laurent was looking at the polished mirror behind him at the reflection of his scars. Their eyes met again. Laurent wasn’t often caught out, but a single glance had betrayed him. They both knew it. Damen felt the hard ache of it. ‘Admiring your handiwork?’

damen: i know you came here on purpose to spend time with me alone when you totally didn’t have to laurent: [very obviously checks out damen’s bare back, and not just for the symbolism reasons] damen: you want to look at me so bad (because you have an emotional attachment to the marks and you want to torture us both about it, and also because you think i’m hot. in both cases you’re the desperate one here, i win)

‘I’ll join you after I’ve dressed. Unless you want to step closer. You can help stick in the pin.’ ‘Do it yourself,’ said Laurent.

this sounds like their prince’s gambit-era antagonistic, vaguely horny, reluctantly fond banter. we’re getting somewhere!

The fever pitch of the crowd was bloodthirsty. The okton brought that out in them, the danger, the threat of maiming. The second of two targets was hammered onto its struts, and the attendants gave the all clear. In the heat of the day, anticipation was an insect buzz, rising to a commotion on the south-western side of the field.

this is such a fucking terrible idea you are in a WAR. damen you are going to be KING. why are you risking your life to play a sports right now. it would be like if the person about to cure a disease decided to play a game of bowling with a 80% survival rate right before they finished the vaccine

Damen heard the reaction of those around him. The Veretian Prince was, at a glance, Damen’s athletic inferior. Certainly, he avoided the training fields. No Akielon had ever seen him fight, or take exercise. He had not participated in any of today’s contests. He had done nothing more than sit, elegant and relaxed, as now. ‘Veretians do not train in the okton,’ said Damen. ‘In Akielos, the okton is known as the sport of kings,’ said Makedon. ‘Our own King will take the field. Does the Prince of Vere lack the courage to ride against him?’

makedon wants that twink obliterated

Damen waited for Laurent to sidestep, to evade, to find, somehow, the words to extricate himself from the situation. The flags fluttered loudly. The stands were silent, to a man. ‘Why not?’ said Laurent.

FSIUFHSDIUFHSDF i love laurent so much it’s unreal. this is the same response you’d give if a friend asked if you wanted to get takeout on a thursday night. “yeah, why not?” mr. “probably” laurent strikes again

Mounted, Damen faced the course, holding his horse ready at the starting line. His mount shifted, fractious, eager for the horn that would signal his start. Two horses down from his own, he could see Laurent’s bright head.

their horses who are canonically in love with each other get to do homoerotic sports too!!

But the true challenge of the okton was this: if you missed, your spear might kill your opponent. If your opponent missed, you were dead.

i was going to say “thankfully there are no real-life sports that sacrifice the physical well-being and possibly lives of eager-to-impress youths looking for glory and compensation” but then i remembered american college football exists

Laurent could also throw a spear. Probably.

probably.

But all of that meant nothing in the face of the okton. Men died during the okton. Men fell, men suffered permanent injury—from a spear; from hooves after a fall. Out of the corner of his eye, Damen could see the physicians, including Paschal, who waited on the sidelines, ready to patch and sew. There was a great deal at stake for the lives of the physicians, with royalty from two countries on the field. There was a great deal at stake for everyone.

not beating the american college football allegations

Damen could not aid Laurent in the contest.

he’ll kill one of his own people by throwing a sword across a clearing to save his captor in book 2, but he won’t use his kingly authority to say “hey guys maybe let’s not put both of the army’s leaders, one of whom is the love of my life and also my divorced husband, in the hunger games right now”

There was something intellectual in the way he assessed the field, and it set him apart from the other riders. For Laurent, physical pursuits were not instinctive, and for the first time it occurred to Damen to wonder if Laurent even enjoyed them. Laurent had been bookish as a boy, before he had re-formed himself.

“he should be at the (afterschool dungeons and dragons) club”

Laurent dealt with the danger of the okton by simply behaving as though it did not exist.

that tracks externally, but i also think that inside laurent’s brain he does acknowledge it, he just has a precise threshold of acceptable risk

Instinct reacted before thought. The spear was driving towards his chest; Damen caught it out of the air, his hand closing hard around the shaft, the momentum of it wrenching his shoulder back. He absorbed it, tightening his grip with his thighs to keep himself in the saddle.

this would be even more impressive if it was not the solution to a dangerous situation you ACTIVELY MADE HAPPEN

All his attention was on the other spear, flying towards Laurent. His heart jammed in his throat. On the other side of the course, Pallas was frozen. In that stricken moment of choice, Pallas could only decide whether to dodge and risk his cowardice killing a prince, or stand his ground and receive a spear to the throat. His fate was tied to Laurent’s, and unlike Damen, he had no recourse for what to do. Laurent knew it. Like Damen, Laurent had seen it early—had seen the strut collapse, had judged the outcome. In the handful of extra seconds that this afforded him, Laurent acted without hesitation. He released his reins—and as Damen watched, as the spear flew right for him—he jumped, not out of the way, but into the path of the spear, leaping from his horse to Pallas’s, dragging them both to the left. Pallas swayed, shocked, and Laurent bodily kept him down low in the saddle. The spear sailed past them and landed in the tufted grass like a javelin.

an akielion wouldn’t think to do THAT, would they!!

(also, love the little parallel to prince’s gambit, with damen ripping the grate out of the wall and laurent’s meticulous scheming. here it’s not as much a competition as it is a mutual/cooperative victory, with damen stopping the javelin mid-air and laurent intelligently evading the other one headed towards him)

The crowd went wild. Laurent ignored it. Laurent reached down and neatly filched Pallas’s last spear for himself. And, keeping Pallas’s horse at a gallop—as the sounds of the crowd swelled to a crescendo—he threw it, sending it flying right into the centre of the final target. Completing the okton one spear ahead of Pallas and of Damen, Laurent drew his horse up in a little circle, and met Damen’s gaze, his pale brows rising, as if to say, ‘Well?’ Damen grinned. He hefted the spear he had caught, and from where he was on the far side of the course, threw; let it go sailing over the full, impossible length of the field, to thunk into the target alongside Laurent’s spear, where it rested, quivering. Pandemonium.

they are both That Bitch. perfect for each other, and now everyone knows it (kinda) <3

After, they crowned each other with laurels.

cute

There was a warmth in his chest whenever he looked at Laurent. He didn’t look often for that reason.

Their men would ride out unified, and if there was a crack down the centre, no one knew about it. He and Laurent were good at pretending.

no they’re not. they’re just becoming more entertaining and endearing than annoying and frustrating, so people are more likely to listen to them

Laurent took his place on one of the lounging couches like he was born to it. Damen sat alongside him.

and all was right with the universe

The whole room went silent. Makedon and Laurent faced one another. The silence stretched out. ‘You have the mind of a snake,’ Makedon said. ‘You have the mind of an old bull,’ said Laurent. They stared at one another. After a long moment, Makedon waved at the slave, who came forward with a fat-bellied bottle of Akielon spirits and two shallow cups. ‘I will drink with you,’ said Makedon.

i love this unlikely friendship. laurent is being socialized like a feral kitten

Laurent glanced at the wine that the slave had poured, and Damen knew with absolute certainty that if it was wine, Laurent wasn’t going to drink. Damen braced himself for the moment when every scrap of goodwill that Laurent had garnered for himself was thrown away—as every tenet of Akielon hospitality was insulted, and Makedon swept forever out of the hall. Laurent picked up the cup in front of him, drained it, then returned it to the table. Makedon gave a slow nod of approval, lifted his own cup, downed it. And said, ‘Again.’

extremely loud airhorn goes off SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

Later, when a great many overturned cups scattered the low table, Makedon leaned forward and told Laurent he must try griva, the drink from his own region, and Laurent downed it and said it tasted like swill, and Makedon said, ‘Ha, ha, true!’ Later, Makedon told the story of his first games, when Ephagin won the okton, and the bannermen grew misty-eyed, and everyone had another drink. Later, everyone roared when Laurent was able to balance three empty cups on top of each other, while Makedon’s cups fell over.

is this just what frat parties are like?

Laurent maintained a scrupulous posture until they were all gone, his eyes dilated, his cheeks slightly flushed. Damen spread his arm over the back of his own seat and waited. After a long moment, Laurent said, ‘I’m going to need some help standing up.’

i love that damen just Waited. he knew. he wanted laurent to admit it. they’re so funny

He wasn’t expecting to receive Laurent’s full weight, but he did, a warm arm slung around his neck, and he was suddenly breathless with the feeling of Laurent in his arms. His hands came up to steady Laurent’s waist, his heart behaving strangely. It was sweetly, impossibly illicit. He felt the ache in his chest. Damen said, ‘The Prince and I are retiring,’ and waved the lingering slaves out. ‘It’s this way,’ said Laurent. ‘Probably.’

‘Is today the first time you’ve been beaten in an okton?’ ‘Technically, it was a draw,’ said Damen. ‘Technically. I told you I was quite good at riding. I used to beat Auguste all the time when we raced at Chastillon. It took me until I was nine to realise he was letting me win. I just thought I had a very fast pony. You’re smiling.’ He was smiling.

drunk laurent happily telling damen about auguste :’) also the “you’re smiling” is so adorable, i love how we’re getting some dorky soft laurent finally. he contains multitudes. this, like, “suddenly aware that he’s being cute and appreciated for it, slightly indignant but also allowing it because it’s damen who thinks he’s cute” thing is wonderful and tbh i hope i can someday allow myself to be like that too :)

‘Am I talking too much? I can’t hold alcohol at all.’ ‘I can see that.’ ‘It’s my fault. I never drink. I should have realised I’d need to, with men like these, and made an effort to . . . build up some sort of tolerance . . .’ He was serious. ‘Is that how your mind works?’ said Damen. ‘And what do you mean, you never drink?

drunk laurent is so funny. and i love how damen is amused, endeared, and absolutely fascinated by the inner workings of this man. me too.

also, it's insane that laurent would ever ask if he's talking too much. taking too much is like his entire thing

side note: this is 100% how i am when i use any kind of mind-altering substances, like a sedative before a root canal. i remember detailing how i felt in my notes app at the time and then reading it later and being both impressed by the determination to remain incoherent and amused by the inserted notes of “why am i laughing” “why is everything funny”

You were drunk the first night I met you.’ ‘I made an exception,’ said Laurent, ‘that night. Two and a half bottles. I had to force myself to get it down. I thought it would be easier drunk.’ ‘You thought what would be easier?’ said Damen. ‘“What”?’ said Laurent. ‘You.’ Damen felt the hairs rise over his whole body. Laurent said it softly, and as though it was obvious, his blue eyes a little hazy, his arm still around Damen’s neck. They were gazing at one another, halted in the half-light of the passage. ‘My Akielon bed slave,’ said Laurent, ‘named for the man who killed my brother.’

“no shit, i got drunk”

It wasn’t unusual for two young men to wander the halls together, swaying, after a revel—even among princes—and Damen could pretend for a moment that they were what they seemed to be: brothers in arms. Friends.

you guys got publicly married-divorced and laurent told an entire army that you fucked each other multiple times. you wear matching arm cuffs. even your horses are in love. be so serious rn

The guards on either side of the entrance were too well trained to react to the presence of royalty leaning all over each other.

They Pretend They Do Not See It (not an HR complain bc they’re not really bothering anyone or breaking rules)

‘No one is to enter,’ Damen ordered the guards. He was aware of the implication—Damianos entering a bedchamber with a young man in his arms and ordering everyone out—and he ignored it. If Isander suddenly had a startling reason why the frigid Prince of Vere had foregone his services, so be it.

oh nooooo what a shame if isander backed off from your man, what an unintended and unfortunate consequence, oh nooooooo

Laurent, intensely private, would not want his household present while he dealt with the effects of a night’s worth of drinking.

just got a vision of laurent as heather chandler in the hangover/death scene. wearing that cunty little robe and talking shit

Laurent was going to wake with a blinding headache fuelling his corrosive tongue, and pity anyone who ran into him then. As for Damen, he was going to give Laurent a push in the small of his back and send him staggering the four steps to the bed. Damen unlooped Laurent’s arm from his neck, disengaged himself. Laurent took a step under his own power, and lifted a hand to his jacket, blinking. ‘Attend me,’ Laurent said, unthinkingly. ‘For old time’s sake?’ said Damen. It was a mistake to say that. He stepped forward and put his hands on the ties of Laurent’s jacket. He began to draw the ties from their moorings. He felt the curve of Laurent’s ribcage as the tie threaded through its eye. The jacket tangled at Laurent’s wrist. It took some effort to get it off, disordering Laurent’s shirt. Damen stopped, his hands still inside the jacket.

:)

Under the fine fabric of Laurent’s shirt, Paschal had bound Laurent’s shoulder to strengthen it. He saw it with a pang. It was something Laurent would not have let him see sober, a keen breach of privacy. He thought of sixteen spears thrown, with a constant effort of arm and shoulder, after rough exertion the day before.

fuck, that’s right. damn laurent

Damen took a step back, said: ‘Now you can say you were served by the King of Akielos.’ ‘I could say that anyway.’

he may be white girl wasted but he’s still our laurent

Lamp-lit, the room was filled with orange light, revealing its simple furnishings, the low chairs, the wall table with its bowl of fresh-picked fruit.

this time, the fruit basket guy just showed the kitchen staff a bunch of ao3 fics tagged “in vino veritas” and told them to make it work

Laurent was a different presence in his white undershirt.

makes him sound like a cryptid. blonde man jumpscare

They were gazing at each other.

we know.

‘I miss you,’ said Laurent. ‘I miss our conversations.’

he would not have admitted this under torture

(also, i really like how he misses their conversations first and foremost. laurent really does love damen for his mind and heart, more than anything else. damen is the same, but he's a lot more vocally into the other parts of laurent too)

It was too much. He remembered being strapped to the post and half killed; sober, Laurent had made the line very clear, and he was aware that he had crossed it, they both had.

damen is still afraid to potentially take advantage of laurent, especially because of what happened the first time laurent interpreted his advances in such a light (ow)

‘You’re drunk,’ said Damen. ‘You’re not yourself.’ He said, ‘I should take you to bed.’ ‘Then, take me,’ said Laurent.

Laurent lay where Damen put him, on his back in a half-open shirt, his hair tumbled, his expression unguarded. His knee was pushed out to the side, his breathing was slow as one in sleep, the thin fabric of his shirt lay against his skin, rising and falling with it. ‘You don’t like me like this?’

first thing, good for him. second thing, not good for him, because trauma, and the fact that he sees himself as a sexual object (i went a lot more into this during the chapter 7 re-analysis)

‘You’re really . . . not yourself.’ ‘Aren’t I?’

i do think damen means this as a “you could punish me for taking advantage,” but i also think there is the fact that damen doesn’t want a version of laurent who isn’t in his right mind (like slaves, who aren’t given the ability to have minds of their own). this calls back to the whole “you like it simple” thing in chapter 7, and it’s pretty satisfying to see damen prove laurent wrong!

‘I tried to kill you. I can’t seem to go through with it. You keep overturning all my plans.’

said with hearts in his eyes <3

Damen found a water pitcher and poured water into a shallow cup that he brought to the low table by Laurent’s bed. Then he emptied the fruit bowl of fruit and put it on the floor alongside, to be used as a drunk soldier might use an empty helmet.

THEY WORKED HARD ON THAT THEMATICALLY RELEVANT FRUIT BASKET >:( although perhaps this is its true thematic relevance? a means of damen helping laurent care for himself in recovery?

‘Laurent. Sleep it off. In the morning, you can punish us both. Or forget this ever happened. Or pretend to.’ He did all of this quite adeptly,

at least he’s getting more self-aware about his own blind spots, or at least his ability to have them

Laurent, falling through scattered thoughts into sleep, said, ‘Yes, uncle.’

i think this line honestly might have been a step too far. not necessarily because it’s a bad thing for laurent to say, i get that it makes sense for him to associate this kind of vulnerability with [redacted], and it’s even possible that laurent doesn’t drink now because the regent got him drunk before he [redacted].

why i think it miiiiiiight not work, is the fact that damen doesn’t oh fuck wait i JUST made note of a line where damen acknowledges how he can “quite adeptly” ignore things, literally a few sentences ago. i can’t even say he would have noticed, or made note of it, because that is his character. and the irony is like right there on the page. it’s frustrating to read, but it’s an intentional choice. well played as usual!

[purplecritter]

theories/thoughts/analysis about touchstarved after playing the demo a few times

Under the cut because it got long (I exceeded the post character limit...) Also spoilers btw. PS: All the links are to posts on the official social media accounts or their kickstarter, with the exception of the animated trailer screenshots that I got from here.

(Happy one month since demo dropped!)

Mhin

I'm starting with them because I play favorites.

Mhin's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the crying eye (guilt? pain? blood? Their pupils almost seem to glow red, I wonder if it's connected) and the beak (in a way that reminds me of the skull of a bird rather than a live one).

The red choice connected to them is about asking if they're a scientist: their precision is almost surgical, though when asked if they've studied anatomy or medicine their reply is “Not quite” so it must be something similar enough.

When Vere complains about their first encounter with Mhin, he mentions that their dagger (visible in their in-game art) is an antique. Perhaps they inherited it, maybe from a mentor? It’s a curious choice of weapon for a hunter: stilettos (it’s described as such in the demo) aren’t ineffective in battle (especially if wielded by a physically strong fighter, which they absolutely are), but they are favored by assassins because they’re easy to conceal, they strike precisely and deeply but without letting much blood leak from the needle-thin wound.

As far as design goes, the clasps on their hood looks like a mix between the quaternary celtic knot and the triquetra / trinity knot. Symbolically, the latter is associated to the Triple Goddess (more on this in Leander’s section) or three elements, while the former represents the four elements or the four seasons or the four cardinal directions, and is often used as a symbol of protection.

Their fatal flaw is that they “resist change at all costs”. I'm led to believe that they became a Monster instead of being born one. I think it either happened not that long ago or they lost control over it recently, and that's what spurred them on their search for a cure. Them being described as “outcast” also makes me think that they could have been exiled from wherever they came from, perhaps because the people found out that “a monster hides within their frame”.

When questioning them about Ais, they say “I'm not going to risk my life in the hopes that any of them is different” which shows that they’re distancing themself from their situation (i.e., being/becoming a Monster).

Their hate towards Monsters could be either a projection of the hate they feel towards themself (if they were aware that there was a Monster inside of them before they lost control and hurt someone, for example) or just because one took over them and by extension they hate every Monster because of it. If the “lost control and hurt someone” thing is true I'll also add that they might be working as a Hunter as a way to try and atone. It could also be a way to expel the more violent instincts (I’m assuming they have some) into something productive.

The “they're afraid of being hurt. Or worse” on their relationship chart with Kuras feels to me like they're afraid of hurting him, also because when you ask them how they get along with him during the demo, they say “Few people are willing to help others; fewer when there's any risk involved” and I'm choosing to interpret that they think of themself as the risk. I know I'm really pushing it on this aspect but the “If you stay too close to me, you'll get hurt”+“Find someone safer to ask for help” only fuels me more. Their monstrous form also looks less defined and more liquid compared to the others, maybe because it's not as developed so it doesn't look as solid?

Vere is also said to be often provoking Mhin in order to make them lose control: he's confident in himself enough to think that he'd have the upper hand in a fight with Monster!Mhin, probably because they're a skilled hunter but they don't have that much experience over their monstrous side. Mhin dislikes Vere because he’s “the embodiment of everything [they] hate about Monsters”: while Mhin holds back from their nature and seeks a cure, Vere wants to give in to his instincts without restraints.

In the demo, they get defensive when questioned about the Senobium, but when they say “Whatever you're looking for, the cost may be higher than what you're willing to pay” I think they're speaking from experience.

It's interesting that it's implied that they slept with Leander once. Judging by the comment about the Wet Wick being the “perfect combination for making mistakes”, they're not enthusiastic about it. I’m guessing that they don't like that Leander has seen them with their guard down? Or they

Unless I missed something, it's unknown where in Eridia they're staying. I'll say it's probably in a different direction from the Wet Wick since they make a point of saying that they're only going there to protect Kuras (instead of, for example, “I live nearby anyways so I'll take the same road”).

The flowers in their pin design look similar to cornus kousa, or some other type of dogwood, symbolizing hope, resilience, renewal (I also found: rebirth, new life, strength, regret). After a long and grueling winter, Eridia greets the first dogwood blossoms with relief. These flowers are known to cling tenaciously to life even in the worst conditions, from barren wastelands to ruins perpetually shrouded in Fogfall… Really poetic meaning! I imagine Mhin as the dogwood flower, persisting even after the Tragic Backstory that made them lonely (“barren wastelands”) and their Monster Form (“shrouded in fogfall”)

Leander

Leander's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights only his eyes (they share the color of his magic -> maybe it's how he uses magic that contributes to him being “monstrous”?).

Nothing to note about his red choice except that it is unlocked by generally following his lead (taking the flower when he offers it, touching him without hesitation).

Speaking of his magic, an Alchemist MC notes that it extraordinarily powerful, enough that he doesn't need incantations or spell circles to cast it. Kuras mentioned that Leander prefers the company of those similar to him and that the Bloodhounds are mostly people who've endured the hardships of Lowtown, so I can't help but wonder if Leander was always a natural at magic, or if he did receive training but was later cast out, or maybe he left by choice?

A recurrent symbol in Leander's design is the triangle, as a detail mostly (on his coat, boots, dangling from his belt), but there's also one that looks like the alchemical symbol for earth (🜃) attached to the brooch on his chest; another symbol for earth is, you guessed it, the serpent, whose other meaning is duplicitous nature as well as renewal and rebirth. This connects to the ouroboros (present in his earring as well as in the background of the sticker and charm kickstarter rewards), symbolizing the cycle of death and rebirth and with relevance in alchemy as the “all in one”. The same theme is also present in the symbol of the triple moon (on his belt) symbolizing the stages of birth life and death and more in general three aspects united in one; the white lilies symbolizing renewal, regrowth, rebirth. The green feels fitting too, since it's often used to symbolize health and abundance.

Alongside the little triangle shape, attached to his belt there are a key (which is not the room key he gave MC), the head of which reminds me of two snakes knotted together; there's also a... I have no clue what that glowing red globe-spike is actually. It's the only other red item (along with the gem on the earring sword hilt) on Leander, but in some of the concept art it was green instead, so I think it's at least somewhat connected to his magic or the source of it. The shape of it combined with the red glow reminds me of Eridia’s towers’ architecture but that’s probably a stretch. I also feel like the symbol on the central part of the triple moon belt buckle is relevant: it immediately reminded me of a spell circle, and after doing some digging in sacred geometry, I’ve found that its 6 petal-like shapes (lilies also have 6 petals...) look similar to the hexafoil, “germ of life”, or the central part of the “seed of life”, which is connected to the divine creation of the world in 7 days/phases; a series of interconnected hexafoils make the “flower of life”, the meaning of which is creation (both in general and of the universe itself), and that everything’s interconnected to everything else... I couldn’t help but think of the “As above, so below” tagline in the Bloodhounds' poster; the sentence has so many interpretations in alchemy/esotericism but the gist of it is, “things in the higher realms of existence are just like in the lower/earthly plane” and “what happens in a large scale also happens in a small scale” and “common material things can make pure spiritual things”.

Overall, I'm thinking that all the green-glowing details on his outfit might be arcane foci, to help him cast magic without using incantations. As of right now, I’m willing to bet that Leander's connected to the Allmother (the traveler in the cart prayed to her) and/or the Abbess (the leader of the Senobium, I think): many of the aforementioned symbols also have ties to femininity and/or feminine qualities.

Other big things in his design are the eyebags and scar that goes from the cheek to the arm. I don’t have much to say on those, probably the scar is going to be connected to some important backstory event and the eyebags are a clue to suggest that there’s something troubling behind the bright and positive persona that he presents as.

If we want to take the name literally (I do), we could assume that Leander and his Bloodhounds are not simply a group of mercenaries, but mercenaries with a cause. Hounds are a breed specifically intended to track something specific (or someone specific) by scent. Given the animosity shown by them at the mere mention of the Senobium, it could have something to do with that, but perhaps it's also something more personal to Leander.

Let's get to the biggest red flag of the green-themed man: “Fatal flaw: [REDACTED]” and “Not all Monsters are inhuman”. There's also the fact that Vere doesn't trust his behaviour (I'll get to it in his section but I would generally trust Vere's words to be truthful). It’s also worth noting that in the first scene he makes an appearance in, he’s presented almost as a performer, a subtle-not-so-subtle hint that he can work his audience really skillfully. Overall, he seems too good to be true, and to quote Leander himself in the demo, “Things that seem too good to be true are often just that.” I don't think he's malevolent per se, but I also believe he's a very good liar (or at least, good at keeping his cards close to his pillowy bosom chest) and he can be a lot more ruthless than he lets on.

I already said it in Mhin's section but it's implied that the two of them slept together once, and I can't help but wonder if Leander also tried the whole "let me touch you so I can see what curses you but also you can tie me down if you want wink wink" tactic with them.

I get the feeling that he also slept with Ais? “He sure likes it when others take control”+“He's not so bad once you get to know him”. The bartender didn't joke about the room being used often huh (i’m saying this lighthearted and teasingly, nothing against it lol).

He's obviously staying at the Wet Wick with the rest of the Bloodhounds, and it happens often enough that the bartender/owner is familiar with their habits. I wonder if he also as a house of his own or not.

The flowers (in-game art, animated trailer, pin design, charm and sticker design) are white lilies, symbolizing devotion, sympathy and faith (I also found: renewal/rebirth/reregrowth and purity. Nothing says “I love you” as clearly as white lilies—ironic, since they’re some of the region’s most poisonous flowers. Some mages believe that these lilies contain a mysterious magic, but attempts to harness this power have only resulted in lethal poisonings. A not-so-veiled warning to be careful of what lies behind Leander’s charming facade... And considering that he seems to like when MC defers to him, I could imagine the (metaphorical... unless?) lethal poisoning in a possible bad end!

Kuras

Kuras' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the several eyes (truth and secrets being very important themes in his route, he's also described as “observer”) and his tears (his guilt).

No red choice for Kuras, but there is various flavour text depending on choices. First and most notably, the Unnamed MC notes that something about him feels familiar: this could simply be a hint about him being divine in nature, or it might mean something more, I'm still uncertain. Moreover, depending on dialogue, one of his scenes towards the end of the demo plays out slightly differently, and it shows the more playful side of him (which I absolutely didn’t expect, but I enjoyed that).

As far as appearance goes, his human form and his divine form have many similarities: this post does a very good job of showing them, but additionally I'll say that his halo (silhouette, charm and sticker design) reminds me of the shape of his earrings.

There are a few lines that imply that being in Kuras' vicinity feels physically warmer. It could be just a standard “MC likes him so being near makes them feel all warm and fuzzy” but I think it's more to do with his angelic nature having a comforting effect on people. Something that could be connected to that is the theme of fire (“eldritch flames”, also visible in the charm and sticker design), which symbolically is the element that purifies souls and reveals the truth.

His clinic seems very neat, for someone who works with numerous patients for the whole day. Moreover, his clothes stay unnaturally devoid of any sign of dirt. His appearance is also very curated, so I think that part of it is him being thorough about cleaning and part of it might be a consequence of his magic. Additionally, during the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 49:32), they (jokingly) said that Kuras doesn’t even put his hair up while performing surgeries, which to me also means that he doesn’t need to do it because he’s supernaturally clean and hygienic.

There's no clear mention of him having magic in the first place, but I don't think he could've completely reattached MC's arm so flawlessly any other way.

I wouldn't think much of it if it were any other character but Kuras' birthday being January 1st makes me think that he picked the date on purpose... or randomly, considering it doesn’t seem to be important to him.

During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 41:24), it was noted that Kuras’ name was deliberately chosen, I think implying that it probably has a meaning behind it, though I can’t say what as of now (my search only revealed that kurash is a type of wrestling in Central Asia, and that there’s a deity called Kura in a region of Syria).

I think it's a known fact in Eridia that Kuras is not simply human (“Only the most desperate or the foolish would dare lay a hand on me”), so it's interesting that he chose to not disclose that to the MC. Granted, they've interacted for less than a day now and information is the currency. I also wonder if he’s always been a doctor or if he chose to become one at a certain point... I guess it would depend: is he “repentant” for something he did before settling in Eridia, or after?

Ais also thinks that Kuras used to be more outgoing but the reason he doesn’t really open up a lot to people anymore is because he “must’ve been burned”, which is an interesting insight. I lean more towards thinking that he’s been burned after becoming a resident in Eridia.

There's nothing that strikes me as peculiar regarding his relationships with the other characters,with two exceptions. Kuras' self-inflicted exile is centuries old, and combined with the fact that he (occasionally and begrudgingly?) works with the Senobium, it might be plenty of reason for Vere to hate him. I think that Kuras might've witnessed how he came to be captured (or actively took part in it), and that event is what feeds his mistrust towards Vere. Secondly, it’s said that he “looks forward to Ais helping around his clinic”: does Ais use the Seaspring’s healing powers on some patients (“I help him in the clinic sometimes”)? I wonder if the smokey scent when the MC wakes in Kuras’ clinic was because he’d been there recently.

He lives in one of the more populated areas, probably because 1) more easy for patients to reach him and 2) he likes meeting people.

The flowers in his pin design look like magnolias, symbolizing longevity, grace, divinity (I also found: eternity, perseverance, purity). The elegant magnolia’s therapeutic properties are vital in such a dangerous world. The Senobium cultivates a small magnolia grove, though few make it past the imposing gates to enjoy the rejuvenating blossoms… Of course the medicinal aspect reflects Kuras well. And there’s the connection to him being employed in some form by the Senobium too, the gates could definitely be a metaphor for how he keeps the true extent of his powers at bay

Ais

Ais' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights his tattoo (Ocudeus' tentacles) and his eyes (the Groupmind's effect).

If MC’s been talking defiantly to him throughout the demo, the red choice connected to Ais also consists of rebelling to him, which he clearly enjoys (he’s said to dislike easy fights, so that’s probably it).

An Unnamed MC will note that Ocudeus’s presence/calling in the Seaspring feels familiar, and that his tattoo feels unnatural and it seems to move when they’re not looking... I’ll say that the tattoo isn’t a regular one, and might be the physical manifestation of the metaphorical mark that the bond with Ocudeus left on Ais. This also explains why in the silhouette of his monstrous form the tentacle tattoo is extended beyond what it normally looks like (it reaches his face, and over half of his chest).

The very prominent eye theme (charm and sticker design, Ocudeus possibly meaning “eye god” if it’s latin) and feeling of being watched (+“Got eyes in the back of my head”), plus the fact that the red-eyed woman knew what MC was seeking as well as their name, makes me believe that Ocudeus' area of influence is very extensive. As a consequence of the Groupmind, it's likely that apart from sharing thoughts (and identity?) those connected also share what they see to Ocudeus/Ais.

The notes left on the pillars are interesting. The topmost and middle one I feel are more useful to the player and serve as casual worldbuilding, but the bottommost one is the most curious imo: decoding the scrawling results in “never wish on a shooting star he's always listening”. Initially I thought that the “he” referred to Ocudeus, but it doesn't feel correct (Ocudeus always watches, it doesn't listen).

During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 36:32), Ais was said to be the first character that they created, and the rest of the cast was built around him for cohesiveness. This is interesting to me, as from the demo I thought that “central” role would fit Leander more.

Speaking of Leander, both of them have a like/dislike relationship with each other (Leander because “the assassination attempts are funny, until they’re not” and Ais because he “won’t hesitate to put Leander in his place when the time comes”). Leander seems to be uncomfortable about the effects that the Seaspring has on people, while Ais talks about “a time where Leander's resolve will be tested, same for anyone in this plane or the next”... I wonder how soon that time is going to be 👀. I already noted this in Leander’s section but I think they also slept together at one point or another.

Same topic, different character: Vere. It’s cute that they’re so fond of each other [1, 2], and I’m very curious to know how they met. They probably bonded because of compatible personalities, but I also think that they like each other because they’re both dangerous, and being with someone who is also as dangerous feels... Fitting, safe, maybe?

The fact that he's “not as in control of his powers as he thought” is also interesting to me, since his nonchalance doesn't seem to be because he's lazy but because he's extremely confident. Perhaps he got too sure of himself and lost sight of the risks?

Ais is described as “renegade”, which by definition is someone who betrays a principle/alliance. I have no doubt that this is connected to the reason why he's a “gang leader without the gang members”, and probably to how he came to bond with Ocudeus. Because he's also said to dislike isolation, I lean more towards saying that he didn't willingly let his (former?) members go, my theory is either they left on their own (perhaps they were scared of Ocudeus, or they didn't approve of it) or he accidentally disposed of them (either because he wasn't in control of Ocudeus / the Soulless, or because Ocudeus felt hungry and they were conveniently nearby). Either way, it must have hurt him, since he's not at all willing to talk about it beyond “Gang took a walk”.

I’m very curious about Mhin saying “Monsters like [Ais] don't know or care about what they have”... What does (did?) Ais have? Could it be in reference to him letting his former gang/companions go away in favor of siding with Ocudeus and/or the Seaspring?

He lives at the Seaspring, though I wonder if he sleeps in a pile near those cushions, cuddling the Soulless, or if he has more personal quarters further in. There's a cave entrance visible on the other side of the bloody water, but that feels more for Ocudeus rather than Ais himself.

The flowers in his pin design are spider lilies, symbolizing mourning, goodbyes, lost memories (I also found: death, abandonment, new beginnings). Eerily beautiful, red spider lilies bear the sorrow of loss and farewells. Eridians believe these flowers shepherd lost spirits into the afterlife. The city has seen a sudden increase in these unearthly flowers, leaving many puzzled about their meaning… Very fitting with Ocudeus’ domain of losing memories and thus, beginning a new life! I’m not sure if we should be taking the increase in flowers literally, or just metaphorically as there’s many in the Groupmind

Vere

Vere's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the eyes again (“windows to the soul” and all that), his fangs (him being the most openly aggressive) and the collar and chains (the thing that binds him to the Senobium's will).

I haven’t been able to not get his red choice [edit: “hidden ending”, not a red choice], but from my understanding of what others have said it’s based on how you talk to him and not on your actions. I’d love to say more but since I don’t know exactly influences it, I don’t have much to talk about regarding that🥹

“Not quite human, not quite monster. Seems we’re both--” I wonder if he was about to finish the sentence with ‘cursed’?

 He has unique dialogue for each of MC’s backstories: to an Alchemist he says “The misery born of your mistreatment haunts you. I understand what it’s like to be used and thrown away. I’ll give your life new meaning”; to an Unnamed “You poor thing, misled by those you trusted most. You caused so much suffering unknowingly. I know that pain. I can help you forget it all”; to a Hound “The betrayal, the loss of hope, the sheer desperation that drives you still to search and search to no end. I could give you something new to live for”. Apart from showing that he knows stuff he’s not supposed to, I’m more interested about what he says to Alchemist and Hound: he knows the pain of causing suffering unknowingly, and he knows what it’s like to be used and then discarded. His powers seems to be seeing through people, I’d say almost mind-reading (“You can’t hide anything from me.”), but I think soul reading is a more fitting definition. I feel that all of the comments related to MC's backstory have more to do with what they experienced/felt than just objective facts, plus the way he says “All that suffering has made your soul so irresistibile...”, it makes me think that he's reading MC’S present and past emotions through their soul.

The most apparent part of his design is that he’s half showing, half hiding. His outfit makes the harness very visible, yet he hid the leash from the MC for as long as possible, and he didn't let them close enough to touch it. His pants are fully cover one side and show skin on the other. The sheer fabrics look very cool on their own but I like to think they're also part of the "half show, half hide" thing he has going on. An Alchemist MC will note that the collar seems to be enchanted, while other backstories will simply say that the lock seems easy enough to open.

In the charms and stickers design, there's his chain in the background, and it's broken. Metaphorically and literally, “breaking free from the chains” symbolizes putting an end to what holds someone captive, but also finding freedom to be oneself. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I think a freed Vere would also feel free to not hide so much of himself. On that note, I'm extremely curious about what he draws on his sketchbook. Also in the charm and stickers design, as well as in the Nintendo Switch port art, is the key that he stole from the MC. It's curious that they included it instead of a more personal object like his sketchbook (present in the Switch port art but not in the stickers), but it might just be a fun nod to the demo or maybe he'll develop a habit of stealing the key again in the full game, so I don't think I should read too much into that.

Neither Vere or Kuras of them gives too many juicy details about their mutual hate towards each other during the demo, but from the additional info [1, 2] published on Tumblr, I think it might have to do with the fact that both of them have been confined in Eridia for centuries, and perhaps Kuras even contributed to the capture of Vere, too.

He’s defined as a “charlatan”, which by definition means “someone who decieves through false claims”. It fits with him saying “If I were you, I wouldn’t trust a word I say” and “Information is a luxury [...] If you valued my words you'd have taken them seriously”. This feels like a recurring theme for Vere: Ais also says, “Vere is one of the most honest people you'll meet. Just don't listen to a single thing he says”. Despite the very obvious predatory/mischievous nature of Vere, I think that he is very honest about the things he says: it’s about reading between the lines.

His very evident distaste towards Leander might be connected to this, seeing that Leander seems to be hiding a lot.

Vere clearly likes Ais, but as soon as MC asks more, he warns them about how dangerous he and the Seaspring are. I think both are true: Ais being “a good person” doesn’t exclude the fact that he is dangerous.

It could be a stretch, but I wonder if Vere lives/stays in the building that he was chained to?

The flowers in his pin design look like some type of lilies, perhaps wood lily are a type of amaryllis that symbolizes passion, allure, pride ( when researching the wood lilies, I also found: danger, determination). Local legends conflict on the origins of the amaryllis. Whether they sprang from the spilt blood of a scorned lover or were born of an ancient Senobian ritual gone awry, the truth behind these flowers is knowledge long forgotten… or held by a privileged few. Like Kuras, his flower mirrors the connection to the Senobium though it remains vague about how exactly they became involved... In the greek myth, Amaryllis consulted an oracle to win the love of the shepherd Alteo: she walked to his house every day, piercing her heart with a golden arrow, and on the 30th day flowers bloomed from her blood. Alteo became enamoured with the maiden and the flowers that bore her name... I wonder how Touchstarved’s version of the myth is different than ours, and which character Vere is more akin to?

Nothing on Sen or Elyon for now since there's too little info on both, but I'm looking forward to putting them under a microscope too 👀

(bangs pots and pans) please share your theories/thoughts if you read this far? 👉👈

[moralesmilesanhour]

my neighbor's a punk

summary: you move into a new apartment with a noisy neighbor. inspired by this prompt list! wc: 922 A/N: just wrote this for some practice. I'm getting better at writing longer drabbles, I think! As always feel free to reblog and leave your reactions in the tags or comments. As of the date this is being posted, my requests are also open! (pls check my pinned beforehand)

You had never seen a garden so beautiful.

Vibrant blossoms of yellow and orange greeted you as you hauled two medium-sized boxes carrying the last of your things through the entrance of your new apartment. Their fragrance wafted through the humid summer air, delighting you and confirming that they were, in fact, real. But for the past couple of days that you had been in the process of moving in, you’d never once spotted a gardener or seen the sprinklers turn on. Curious.

The modest apartment had only a couch to occupy the living room, which was currently still dotted with cardboard boxes. A freshly-ironed shirt and work pants lay neatly folded on top of one. You stepped over a few to get to the kitchen, where various unopened appliances were strewn about the counter. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, you made a note to finally put everything away in the cupboards tomorrow evening after work.

No TV meant your only sources of entertainment for the time being were your phone and your laptop. It was now evening, and you were slouched on your sofa in the midst of a harrowing ‘Game of Thrones’ episode when a violent guitar riff ripped through the air and made you jump.

These thin-ass walls…

Whoever was playing (very well, you might add) seemed to be next door, so it didn’t take long to follow the sound to the correct number. You knocked impatiently and rang the doorbell too, for good measure. It took a minute for the music to come to a halt before the sound of heavy footsteps approached the door and you heard it unlock.

Once the door creaked open, you weren’t sure where to look first.

Your eyes darted back and forth between the array of piercings on your neighbor’s face and dangling from his ears, the wicks styled to shoot out from his head like an explosion, and his bright red plaid pants before landing on a pair of large eyes set deeply within a dark, angular face.

Judging by the way his pierced brow quirked up in amusement, you weren’t the first to give him a weird look, and wouldn’t be the last.

You remembered how to speak.

“Oh, um- hey,” you began, “I live next door, and I heard you playing–”

The young man’s face lights up and he interrupts, “Oh, d’you like it? It’s a song I’ve been workin’ on for the past few weeks. Finally got the bridge down.”

You blinked. 

“I mean…it’s not bad. It’s great, even, but–”

“Say, I haven’t seen you around before,” he pointed. “You new here?”

The man spoke with a strong Cockney accent, you noticed, with a tinge of something else that made a couple of vowels run together.

“...Yes, I moved in two days ago,” you sighed. “Now that that’s out of the way, I was about to ask if you could maybe play a lil’ quieter? You’re very loud.”

The realization seemed to dawn on him that you weren’t here to applaud his sick guitar riffs, and he winced. You almost felt bad for disappointing him, but you had a show to binge.

“Ah shit, my fault. Got too used to playing on full volume after the last neighbor moved out,” With a hand placed over his chest, he promised, “Won’t happen again.”

You nodded with a tight smile. 

“Thanks. Goodnight,” you said as you turned to leave.

The next few days were quieter, though you could still hear the neighbor’s guitar through the walls at a much more manageable volume. Sometimes you would hear the man humming to himself in his baritone voice. Eventually, you were so used to it that you found yourself falling asleep to the sound.

One Saturday morning, though, you awoke to the peculiar sound of silence. Normally by now you’d be hearing the first few chords of…whatever the guy was working on, then he’d reach the end by mid-afternoon. Part of you wanted to check up on him, but reason held you back; you’d only spoken to him once. Maybe he was just taking an off day.

Unable to return to sleep, you decided to shower and take a walk outside while the air was still comfortably cool.

As soon as the early morning sun hit your face, a familiar head of hair came into view.

There stood your neighbor–band t-shirt and all–in the garden in front of the apartment. Watering the flowers.

Mystery solved.

“So you’re the reason the plants haven’t died yet,” you laughed, causing his head to snap up.

He grinned, and lifted his watering can proudly. “Sure am. Bring some color into the place.”

“I thought it was awful quiet around here,” you remarked. You toyed with the hem of your t-shirt. “How’s the, uh…song going?”

Something between delight and surprise graced his features and made him look boyish. 

He smiled, revealing a crooked front tooth as he replied, “Almost done with it, actually.”

There was silence for a beat, and the both of you shifted awkwardly where you stood. 

Suddenly, a lightbulb went off. 

“Mind playing it for me when you’re done?”

The tall man seemed about ready to run laps around the block at the suggestion.

Quickly setting his watering can down, he replied, “Thought you’d never ask, mate!”

He jogged his way around the perimeter of the garden and over to you. “Can I get your name while we’re at it?”

“Y/N.” You stuck out your hand, and he shook it.

“Hobie.”

[thebottomfromhell]

my request does not have much to do with the upper moons directly, but rather with their partners. Imagine that one of the hashiras, any one of them, discovers the human partner of the upper moons and captures them to question why the reader chooses demons over humanity.

I imagine this could turn into something along the lines of "no, not the demons, just my partner" or "I don't care about humanity in general", etc, with the hashira in question feeling confused and depending on who it is, even outraged and disgusted at the idea of ​​a human with a demon (Sanemi would be most likely the latter reaction, I believe). I know this can be a little confusing, but it's just an excuse for the reader to give the reasons why he/she chose to be with such a superior moon, even knowing what they are and what they do with human beings.

And I would like to thank you for write my previous request. You are amazing!

This is pretty nice ask, specially considering how bad most of them were to Tanjiro (I understand attacking Nezuko, but Tanjiro was only a child wanting to protect his last family member alive, to voach for his death and physically try to harm him more than strictly necesary to be able to do the job... really says a lot about moral standing).

Besides, I wanted to do something of them for a while. Let's see how this goes, and sorry for the wait.

GN Human Reader being an Uppermoon's (could be any) S/O is interrogated by the Hashira. This is before the Hashira Meeting with Tanjiro and Nezuko, but after Tomioka met them already.

Warnings: Referenced cannibalism, Mentioned torture, Use of violence, Implied sexual content, Reader losing sanity (and hating Hashira, making harsh judgements with the information they get), and Implied Hashira death (Alternate Universe, Muzan wins). I warn Hashira fans, this might be NOT for you.

You are tied up under the sun, and you can, for once, feel a grasp of the fear your beloved feels about it. Sun means pain, Sun means danger, Sun means death... As a human you were never meant to face that part of the day, you should have been afraid of the night, of the monsters and shadows lurking in the dark, there was a time you did. Then, inside the darkness, you did found fangs, eyes that shine in the dark, man-eating creatures just like the ones that you find in the folklore horror stories. The ones that you can hear people talk and lie about in taberns, showing scars and animal skeletons.

You have felt those fangs against your skin, bloodied hands, been gazed with those eyes as the only source of life in such a gentle ways. Loving, tender, sweet and kind touch. The opposite of the touch you have recieved just now, a kick in the stomach, making you relieved you haven't eating anything since you got taken here yesterdey... you would have thrown up, you swear as you cough... blood. More blood. It wasn't enough every drop you lost last night, at this point they are going to kill you. "Ara ara, Shinazugawa-san. Don't you think you are getting too far? We won't be getting any answers if you kill our prisioner." This people are crazy, you feel the violent one, Shinazugawa, grab the back of your neck and force you to look up. It hurts.

"I don't give two shits! This demon sucker wants to side them? Then we might just treat it as those monsters." Look who is talking. "I think Shinazugawa is right. We haven't reacieve any answers until now. If Kosho in one night was not able to make this freak talk, then why should we try anymore?" Says the freak who brings his snake pet to the job, job which includes torturing people, it seems. The giant one also adds his opinion. "It would probably be mercifull to end their suffering, decieved by a demon into believing they can love a human. Namu Amida Butsu."

The small woman, the doctor, found you at daylight as you were buying groceries, asked you for a private talk, saying she needed your help finding her older sister. She said that sister has been missing for a while and that she was asking people around for clues, even if they were not directly in the scene. You recognized the uniform of the slayers from the corpses your beloved tends to bring home, but you didn't think much of it. You thought that maybe she was looking for a demon in town, and you thought not answering would be more suspicious, confident that she would not rival an Uppermoon if it was about your beloved, if it was another demon you didn't know about, then you had no reason to care. You did not expect to be knocked up and wake up in a place infested with wysteria scent.

You hate it, you hate wysteria, poison, in makes you feel sick. But it also makes you feel sick. Is this why nobody has found the slayer's base? Because is surrounded by poison? It obviously doesn't harm you, but... the more you breath this cursed scent the more you know there is no hoping you will be rescued.

Now you fear for your life, you can see the Shinazugawa one raise his sword. Is this it? You didn't even get to say goodbye! There is someone waiting for you at home! You can not die here, surrpunded by enemies, your beloved forever ignorant of what happened to you... you can't leave like that, you can't! Thankfully, the young man with divided haori takes his hand before the sword can stab you... in the leg... was this all just to scare you into talking? You should not trust that. "Let me try." Says with a soft voice, finally something non-menacing since you woke up.

The spike haired man pulls his arm harshly to take it back from the other's grip. "What the hell, Tomioka?! Do you think you will be able to the something put of this mother fucker better than the rest?!" Tomioka, the gentle one, doesn't answer, just looks at Shinazugawa, unmoved by his violence, and knees in front of you, staying at your eye level. "Why?" Is the only thing he asks. "Is he an idiot or he really thinks he will be answered like that?" And just for that you are willing to talk, because this is the first one around who is actually nice with you without having to fake having human decency.

""Why" what?" You ask, because ir could be several things. "Why don't you answer?" "Why are you in a relationship with a demon?" "Why are you in this situation?" "Why do you love-" "Why is that Uppermoon different?" He frowns harder at each word, you can tell he is angry, but also trying, genuinely trying, to be understanding. He is the only one doing so right here and now, even though his mind seems more focused on something else. Maybe someone? Also the way he worded it... "different".

You know that special person, because demons might not be humans but you still believe they are people, is always different to others. That is why they are special, and that is why the bond you have with them is different to bonds you have with other. You know. But... what is different? What is so special it managed to get you in this situation?

You remember the they you met your beloved, just like today you felt you would die, but that feeling was burried with the sensation of being spellbound. You were not afraid, you were attracted, and those feelings were reciprocated. With time, which is a nothing compared with the amount of years your beloved has lived, has bringed you both close. Has given you good and bad memories, good and bad feelings, good and bad moments... you have felt happiness, frustration, empathy, sympathy, anger, sadness, pleasure, disgust, impotency, pain, LOVE... so much love you would not change any of those things. ""That Uppermoon".... is home." You can't think of other way to say it. "Is home", you have been picturing the face, the voice, the touch, the smell, even the damn taste of that special someone every second of fear and pain, thinking "I want to go home".

You hear a small squeal as everyone turns to see the woman of the pink hair and revealing clothes. She looks very shy the second she realizes all the attention is on her, covering her face with her hands, eyes close and you can see some blushing as she shakes her shoulders in uneasiness. "I'm sorry! It's just that... it's so romantic, cute and sooo heartwarming how this love is so deep to the point it's home. I never thought I would find someone with a love like this." You are... so confused right now. While she doesn't really look that threatening she was quiet the whole time until now, and to finally hear her thoughts after everything... it's so confusing. But well, confusion is better than fear.

"Huh? I think it's lame, the fact that this idiot thinks a creature like a demon can love a human. I bet those things are just into vore or something, so they date their food. Not gonna lie, as much as it's weird and disgusting, it's very unique! I think a dumb shit like this deserves such an ending! Direct karma!" Says the guy with jewlery and what the fuck?! And this people call you a freak?! You have never met a demon that has been into things... well... Douma is... whatever, you don't care. You are more than a flashy type of dinner, and you know it. "Don't project your kinks into my love-life, you sick pervert!" Ok, that was a bad idea.

You feel pain as Shinazugawa stamps your head against the floor, you can feel your nose break, making it hard to breath. "I would appreciate if you didn't speak of such obscenities. There is a child here." We all turn to the kid, almost at the corner, he doesn't seem to be paying attention... honestly, you forgot he was there, and as incredible as it sounds, you have the feeling he also forgot you are here. "I think we should not lose focus! No offense, Tomioka-san, but I don't think your question is relevant! Thos person is still intimating with a demon, an Uppermoon no less! We should have no consideration, since it's obvious this individual doesn't have it for the victim's of demon's!" Says the loud blonde, he is not screaming but still talks as if he was speaking over another loud noise. Between everything, it becomes irritating how he speaks so polite but is so decided into making your relationship as something... vile.

"OF COURSE I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS! DON'T ACT AS IF YOU CARED FOR OTHER HUMANS BEYOND KILLING DEMONS! WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME ARE NOT THE ACTIONS OF SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO SAVE OTHERS!" You are also loud, and your voice is now weird from the broken nose. It hurts to breath through it, so you have to take air with your mouth between shouts. "TAKING ADVANTAGE THAT I'M WEAKER THAN YOU TO DO AS YOU PLEASE! AND YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTER THAN ME?! BETTER THAN DEMONS?!" The blonde, the Tomioka guy and the pink haired girl have the decency to flinch, the others just look annoyed by you comments. Now it's a hit in the back that you recieve, you feel the snake freak press his elbow against your spine, thankfully not breaking it, the the bones are cracking a bit and you jave some spams because of it and the pain.

Again, thankfully, the Tomioka guy grabs his wrist and to stop him from doing more harm. "Remember humans can die from things like this. Stop." You only focus on breathing for a while, everything hurts so much. Your gaze becomes dizzy as some tears form in your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. You are going to die here. This fucking freaks are going to kill you, whenever it's accidental or delibarate, this people are not going to let you live. "Shut up, you freak. Why are you so keen on defending them? What, you you also love a demon?" Tomioka frowns very hard at that, actually looking angry. "I don't need to love someone for not wanting others to suffer an excess of cruelty or to die. People love... and people protect those one love. But loving someone doesn't make you worse! Love make people do stupid but brave things! Why is that wrong for you?!" He even started shouting at the end, he has been so quiet before, just saying the minimun he needed to communicate and maybe even less. This seems personal.

"Tomioka-san. You must consider this person considers that demon victims are not concerning, to the point of siding them. This is nothing but a pitiful soul." There they go again, trying to decide what is right and wrong. Thryng to condemd your being a fucking human that loves someone. "I don't love everyone... People I don't know, that I have never met and never will... what does that has to do with me? Don't think you are better that me because you kill man-eating beings... if you wouldn't drop everything for your beloved ones... then you must have such a pathetic bonds with people...." you start laughing, everyone (or almost everyone) here is pathetic as a human being. They probably think that their job is enough good deed for humanity, so don't even try to actually be good for people and those around them. How else could they be such a group of disgusting-

"Oyakata-sama is here." You hear a soft voice, the child speak. Everyone kneels in front of a man who, like everyone else here, is young, but he is blind. He looks so fragile, sick, a white haired young woman needs to help him to move. This... is what Kibutsuji is looking for?! This?! This is not a threat! Just killing every damn slayer that spans should be enough, then you wouldn't be here! You can only laugh as your body hurts, tears finally falling from your eyes. Everything is so ridiculous.... damn... you are going to die. Everything is so stupid, and you will die. You will die only because you were buying groceries at daylight. You will die and you beloved will not know what happened. You will die here, because of this.

Fuck it! You will die anyway! Don't give a shit anymore! "I can't believe this is what Kibutsuji Muzan was afraid of!" You laugh and cry, laugh and cry, your head hurts, your back hurts, your face hurts, your stomach hurts, your knees hurt, your arms hurt, your heart hurts. IT ALL HURTS! You can see half of the Hashira ready to drop hands, or swords, at you, but hell! You already don't have any damn to give. You were ready to recieve another impact, any other impact, more pain but...

The sound of a biwa resonates with an echo, there is no more sun, but candle lights. You, the Hashira, "Oyakata-sama" and the woman besides him... you all are in "The Infinity Castle...." everyone else looks around, definetely more confused than you. But... What happened? How did they found you? Who found you? "Very well done, Y/N. You did much better than I expected, but you were kept around for something, after all. After all, I didn't let my cells transform you nor kill you as you taked small amounts of blood in those love-bites." The voice is familiar, even if you have only ever heard it thrice at most, there is no way of not knowing who this is. You tremble as if you were a demon in front of him, even if you are doing it more because you are emotionally exhausted, physically in a lot of pain and spiritually relieved... you are safe now. Away from the sun, under the light and comfort of the bloodied moon that you relate to home.

Everyone in your floor, the one of the humans apperently, look up to see Kibutsuji Muzan upside down in what from your perspective looks like a ceiling, but is clearly another floor. Nakime is right besides him, holding her biwa as she shifts her attention from you to the others. "I knew were you were the second you called me, I just had to send the information to Nakime and she brought you here with our guests." You can hear all the Hashira taking out their weapons, and then another note of the biwa sounds as a door appears and open behind you. As weak as you are you turn around.

Kokushibou, Douma, Akaza, Urami (that means Hantengu is inside), Sekido, Karaku, Urogi, Aizetsu, Gyokko and Gyutaro are on the other side of the door. The fact Daki is not there and that Hantengu is already divided and protected speaks in volumes. "Now that everyone is here, I think this is the perfect timing to finish our conflict with the slayers... Permanently." This one is the real one, and you can feel your beloved's anger... Game Over.

[exielimon]

Alright! guess who came back from death? that's right! no one cares!

Anyways I thank so much to @dragkbluire for helping me get out of my mental bloq and basically letting me rant about this from 1 to 6 am. You're gold.

So, I apologize if there are any mistakes that I missed, I'm not really a writer, enjoy

A Door to Remember You

(4782 words ahead)

-----

The other side of the portal was just like every other they had experienced. Four stepping aside and doubling over to focus in not spill his breakfast, Hyrule stumbling over the grass, more than one of them tripping and falling on top of each other as they regain their footing, someone eventually asking if somebody recognized something.

Wild did. But also not.

“What do you mean?” Wind asked, turning his head around without letting go of the smithy’s hair from where he was holding it for them as they failed their inicial task after the portal.

“We’re back in my era, but everything is… different. Feels pacific… too pacific.” Wild slowly puts his toughts into words.

“There’re no rests of malice in the air…” Legend states fron under Hyrule’s arm, the latter leaning heavily against Legend as he cleared the muddle of magic out of his head.

“But the smell of the guardians is strong” Twilight adds, focusing his ears on the distance, if all that violent twitching was anything to go by.

“Well, we’re in… Retsam forest… but… it´s so light, doesn’t even look like a forest.” Wild looks around.

“I mean, not that your woods were that bigger anyway,” Time points out, a rare snarky tone in his voice, as if he thought his forests were better “where was that forest again?”

“Right behind Hateno Hill” Wild responds without taking his eyes away from the lake that can be seen from their spot just before the cliff, the forest is so light the lake can be seen from the cliff! That means he’s in his past, right?? But these trees don’t take millenia to grow to how he knows them, so that means he’s already in his era, but Twilight said there are guardians so that means right before the calamity.

Oh spirits.

They are right before the calamity.

“…Wild?”

“Yes?” Wild responded around his thumbnail, which he was chewing.

“Are you alright?”

“What?” and that’s when Wild realized he was trembling. He startled out of his thoughts and ran a hand through his hair, letting out a heavy sigh. He steadied himself. “Alright! I know when we are”

At his silence, Warriors asked cautiosly “and that is…?” letting Wild fill the rest with his answer.

“Hateno village… previous to the calamity”

“Oh… oh”

Warriors’ reaction sumarized everyone’s.

.

“There are certainly more people in here” Legend looks around himself at the village “Hey, you alright?”

Wild, walking right beside him at the front of the group with his hood so low down his face it seemed like he wanted to disappear under it, just signs quickly “it’s my hometown, don’t know what to expect”

“Oh… alright then” from there, Veteran walks a little closer to him.

“This… must be the central market” Wild states once they arribe to an area of the village where… is not that different from the future. There are more stalls and people, yes, but not that much more buildings.

“Doesn’t look so different, does it?” Wars having seen the village only few times before asks to no one in particular. “Should we go see the Lab up the hill? maybe your friend Purah is there and can inform us what we need”

Wild turns around to face warriors and sign in small motions “Not really, she is too curious and if she finds out who we are, I don’t think she’ll be exited to know what happened, which she definitely will try to make us tell her”

“besides, she’s probably at the laboratory near the castle” he adds as an afterthought.

“Excuse me”

Wild freezes and lets the others handle the person away, it sounds like a little girl, must be just curious.

“Are you knights?”

“Yes, some of us are, whatever is the matter, little one?” Wild hears Warriors respond after stepping around him.

“Do you know the knight Link?” Wild stiffens.

“W-well Link’s a usual name among the knights, we know a few” Twilight adds to the conversation from his spot beside Wild, the opposite to Legend.

“Mell… you know… the guy who’s too young to be a knight, in the fifteenth division? son of captain Kore of division twenty” and since Wild doesn’t know that, he doesn’t know how to feel about it, maybe it was him or maybe he even knew the guy, he’ll never find out…

or so he thought

“The hylian champion.” She concludes and she is, in fact, talking about him. The others fall silent thinking of what to say.

Why was a kid asking for him? did she know him? was she just a curious fan? (did he have fans? or did most of people just see him as a tool like the crown did-)

He slightly turns his head to catch a glimpse of the child. Which is a mistake because the moment he moves, the child looks up and they lock eyes for an instant.

An instant is enough for her.

“Link!” she gasps and runs for his hand to start dragging him in some direction. “Oh how I’ve missed you! Mom’s missed you too, what took you so long in coming to visit?-“ She rants as she gently pulls him away from the others.

Twilight tries to follow because a child mistook Wild for the era’s Link and is dragging him away, Wild is not in the condition, but Time grabs him by the shoulder to stop him.

Twi looks back only to get the explanation of “don’t make a scene”

“I’ll be quiet” Wind states before sprinting the way Wild and the kid have already disappeared.

Sky and Legend go behind him, both sending looks of ‘I’ll take care of them’ to Time.

“Should we wait for them?” Hyrule asks, uncertain.

“We should restock while they get back”

.

“W-wait, kid I’m not-“ Wild tries not to speak too loud, there’s too much people, but that only takes him to not be heard by the little girl over the rushing wind while she is laughing and chatting away at him.

Once the area is quieter— wait, is she taking him to his own house?— he manages to tell her “Wait, kid ’m sor-“

And when he cuts himself off is because she turns to him, and that lovely face, grey silver eyes and pale golden bangs framing her face feel like he’s seen them his whole life… he might as well have.

Wind catches up just in time to see Wild fall completely still “oh no- a memory?” just who is this kid? Wind approaches and begins to apologize “I’m sorry kid, you got the wrong person, he’s-“

“That’s not true!, I recognize my brother anywhere, what do you know?” Aryll cuts him off. “Right, Link?…” The little girl waits for his response, but he won’t even lock eyes with her “Link? why isn’t he moving?”

“Ah, pumpkins… sorry kid, he’s amnesiac, he’s having an episode.” Sky tries to search his eyes, but they are unfocused.

The girl frowns confusedly

The front door swings open to reveal a woman that looks so relieved for something Sky doesn’t know. He explains.

“I’m sorry, madam, your child is confused and brought my brother here thinking he was someone else, he’s amnesiac and now he’s having an episode, we’ll get out of your yard as soon as we can, he’s just… frozen”

The woman visibly deflates, which Legend, Sky and Wind are not very pleased to see. Some feeling could be seen in the eyes of the woman as they search in the hero something she thought she did find but is so crushed for being told it was not so. She evidently had to gulp her feelings.

“Please, come in while your brother recovers, the house is a little empty without my husband and son in here”

.

He reaches out, caressing her loose braid and kissing her good night.

“When you go to the castle and meet much cool people remember, I’m the coolest of them all so you better don’t forget me, promise?” Aryll, his sister, a little ball of sunshine among all this dark burden he’s felt since picking up a sword for being curious in a forest, hugs him tight by the waist.

His mother, a pillar, protector and gentlest person he’s ever met in his life, walks over from where she was leaning in the railing of the loft and joins the hug. “Your father will come get you in the morning, you have to be prepared before sunrise, you should sleep now.” she whispers in his hair.

“Promise?” Repeats Aryll, demanding attention back to her.

“I promise,” He pulls away to face his little gremlin of a sister “I will remember you whenever, both of you” in that last bit he looks at his mother too.

He kisses again the little girl’s forehead before standing up to get to his own bed but Aryll grabs him by the wrist.

“Stay here a bit longer please.”

He sits down again, his mother kisses them both good night and retires to her bed.

“Would you sing for me?” she asks quietly.

And he didn’t register when he fell asleep with his cheek pressed to his sister’s head, but he remembers too vividly the damp in his shirt where her face pressed to his chest when she hugged him.

.

Hood at some point taken from his face, sitting on a chair? why was he sitting? and light the right shade for the inside of a roof. Wild blinks back to reality “Wher-“

“Your brother brought you inside since you were having an episode in my front yard, please stay as long as you need to recover” A woman sitting across a table he now registered he is sitting at tells him with a sorrowful voice and gentle smile.

“Twi’s the only one that knows how to handle you while on your… memories, so we called him over,” Sky explains from somewhere out of his line of sight, “Rulie had to make sure you were unharmed and the others are restocking supplies and getting a room at the inn.”

He only hums in acknowledgment because when he looks at her face, he can’t stop the tears from forming in his eyes even though he can feel Twilight’s reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Mom…?” his voice breaks.

He feels Twilight slightly flinch against his shoulder, and can hear the confused noises the rest of his brothers make at his blurting.

“I’m sorry? I thought you had another brothers…?”

Wild falls silent a moment, thinking over his words could he tell her about his newest quest? maybe not… but this is his mother, he has to tell her…  maybe a half-truth? “I-I come from the future…”

“Wild what are you-”

“I-I became a hero… and- as you already know, as the chosen one I’ve been resolving problems around the land…” he can heel the confusion emanating from his brethren behind him, still he keeps on “I ended up helping these men and boys save their homes as well, but our foe is… quite capable, dragging us through time” he stops to clear his throat and wet his lips. “We’ve been together for enough time that we are now comfortable with each other, that’s why we call ourselves brothers.”

“Ah… so it is you, my son”

“I told you! I recognize my brother anywhere” The little girl, Aryll— oh gods she’s so young and he doesn’t know how much more she lived— directs at the sailor, who just frowns at Wild’s direction. Then she returns to Wild “Through time, you travel? wow! how do you do that!!”

“Wait, your memory! and those scars! tell me, what happened? Is your father alright? what about the champions? will the princess be fine? what was of the calamity?” His mother gasps worriedly.

“oh uh…” Wild pauses to chuckle nervously, definitely not to think of a quick excuse “Uhm… the scars are nothing to worry about now, the battle was…” he clears his throat “…rough… but I’m recovered from that now, don’t worry.”

A quick glance to Twilight for support just leaves him more alone, for Twilight decides to abandon him then and there “I believe this is something you must discuss in private,” Twi shoots a glare at the rest of the heroes scattered throughout the house as he walks toward the door “we’re gonn’ leave you to that, I’ll stay out here if ya need anythin’” and with that, the others followed him out the house.

Wild glares at each one of them as they walk through the door.

Wild clears his throat again, “alright so…” and, with all the pain in his heart, “father’s… uh…” he starts lying to his mother “he’s fine, he’s still on duty. He just has a few new scars.”

He was planning on saying his father was resting, and it would be better because it wasn’t lying, but also not, because putting those words into his mouth would cut like daggers, the real meaning broke him from within and, with how fragile he was right now, he feared his breakdown would break the woman and girl at the other side of the table. So he puts on a smile and keeps on.

“The champions… I’m not sure what they are doing, they returned to their own lives I think, they’re ambassadors of their respective races and sometimes are invited over to the castle for celebrations.” At this point, Wild is just telling how he would have wanted everything to end up.

“The princess is fine, she’s recovering from the great effort she had to make to seal the calamity away. I’m still her knight and… she’s healing” he bears a faint smile because thank the spirits at least this one is not exactly a lie.

“And the calamity…” And now the worst question… wich he can’t possibly find a way to smooth down the story, not with all the destruction, devastation and death.

 A true calamity indeed.

“I don’t remember.”

“What?”

“Uh… at some point during the battle, I think I took a nasty hit to the head, when the battle ended I passed out… uh, as I was told. And thanks to that I… don’t remember much…” through the silence, he thinks of the precious (only) memory he has of these two women “B-but I did say I’d remember you whenever, didn’t I?” for this sentence, the tears are back to his eyes.

“M-mom it… it’s been a while.” He wipes his tears, trying and failing to stay composed as a sob escapes his throat

His mother answers by standing up and rounding the table. She opens her arms in front of him, a gesture that he doesn’t remember it’s been made a million times before, he stands up and melts into her embrace. Soon after, Aryll walks up and joins the hug too.

Wild holds them and breaks.

Because he shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t be interacting with people from his past, he shouldn’t remember this.

Yet, here he is, holding two people long forgotten to the calamity he failed to keep at bay as if he was about to let them die again.

He most certainly was.

He couldn’t register how much time he was there, letting his mother rock them softly, but at some point after his breath evens, Aryll— bless her, little ball of sunshine though the gloom— comes to save the day “So, who are your new brothers? I’m still the coolest one, right?” She mumbled looking up at his eyes.

“Of course you are” he chuckled as he pulled away. “Gimme a sec, I‘ll call ‘em inside” he wiped his face and walked up to the door.

They were all sitting beside the young tree besides the house, surrounding the unlit cooking pot, they all perked up when Wild approached and offered “Do you guys wanna meet my sister?” Which they of course all agreed.

When they got in the house once again, Wild’s mother went to make some tea.

“So…” Wild began to his sister, introducing them from left to right “The dreamy guy there” Sky perks up from where he was dissociated  “is Sky.” ‘dreamy guy’ chuckles and waves.

“Pfft- he lives up to his name, his mind’s always in the clouds” Legend teases, just beside Sky.

“That salty one is Legend” Wild points to said hero, smirking as his sister giggles.

“Hey!” >:(

“Sparkly eyes is Hyrule” He continues, pointing to indicate. Ruile blushes under the subtle compliment and waves.

“The little sun in there” He points at the youngest hero “is Wind.” the sailor waves a hand with a friendly smile.

“Mr. wolf-pelt” Legend instantly snickersat wild’s description and Twi glares at ‘the salty one’ “Is Twilight”

“But those are not names?” Aryll asks, clearly confused.

“That’s because hey are nicknames, little sunshine.” Twi (his big brother instinct, really) explains for her “Seems like our names are so common we got the luck we’re all named the same. So we call ourselves things we like.” He smiles.

“And what is your name, really?” Aryll gasps with all the curiosity of a child.

“Link”

“They share a name with you, brother! that’s so cool!” She gasps amazed at a simple thing. “I wish I met someone else with my name, It would be awesome to name ourselves something we choose.”

“And what is your name, little lady?” Wind (his also big brother instinct) steps closer to put on theatrics.

“I’m Aryll!”

“Oh?” Wind looks surprised.

“Something up, Wind?”

“My sister’s name is also Aryll” He explains with a confused smile. How curious.

“Wait. That means you also have a nickname, brother, what is it?” She turns to her big brother again.

“I’m named Wild.” He answers, smiling.

“Why would you choose Wild??” Ah, Aryll is under the impression that they chose it from something they like… well, he certainly likes the wilderness.

“What do you mean? haven’t you seen wild nature??” Wild argues playfully. “The trees and animals everywhere, the scent and the view, it’s all pure life!” He praises his namesake. “You should tell mom to take you out someday, just so you can see it all. Believe me, it’s gorgeous.”

“Ohh, I’ve never been outside the village, is it much prettier outside??” Aryll asks, curious.

“Well, it’s not that it’s prettier, it’s just different, this place has its own beauty.” Wild explains, because he doesn’t want his sister to live the rest of his life yearning to be outside.

“Mom, can we someday go outside the village to see the trees?” She asks to her mother, at the other side of the room, in the kitchen area.

The woman chuckles “Yes, darling, one of these days we can go outside.”

Aryll giggles.

“Well, I’ll be going down to the others,” Hyrule stands up from where he was sitting on the first step of the stairs. “I came here to make sure everything was ok with you, Wild. I see you perfectly fine so I should go back.”

“I’ll go with you.” Legend, ever protective of his descendant, offers.

“I should go too, someone has to explain to the others why we’re taking so long,” Sky steps closer to the downfall duo before looking over his shoulder “And I presume Wild’s gonna take more still?” He addresses the hero in question.

Wild only nods with gratitude in his eyes. The others turn and step out the door, closing it behind themselves with a soft click.

Aryll starts to tell him about things he’s missed, while giving away facts about the village for Wind and Twilight to get into context. She speaks with gestures, expressions and emotions, which the three big brothers of the chain find simply precious.

She speaks of the way she would like to be out there, wielding a sword and being cool with her brother— and ohh! does this mean there are two of Lin- Wild in two places at the same time?— than being in the village looking at the same things and doing the same things every day.

Tea is ready at some point. “You boys like jasmine tea?”

“Which one was that?” Whispers Wind “The sweet one” answers Wild in the same volume.

“Yes, thank you ma’am” “Thanks mom” “Thanks ma’am” Is heard when the woman approaches with a plate with four cups of tea and some sugar and lets the heroes take one each before sitting down to have her own, one spoon of sugar added.

Aryll isn’t a fan of tea, she doesn’t hate it, but today she won’t take any.

And now, Wild’s mother is telling them how the people have been, the things that have changed and the people that have been through difficult times.

“Mister Sori hasn’t even left his house after he went- oh, it’s getting late” The woman glances out the window, up in the loft of the house, which lets the orange and golden rays of the last hours of sun come in. “You know what that means, young girl”

“Oh c’mon but brother’s here, this is a special occasion sure I can stay up a little late?” Aryll protests at her apparent bedtime.

“Why so early?” Asks Twilight to the woman.

“Oh, unfortunately, every night is more dangerous than the last, lately.” The mother explains “There’s a group of monsters just in Ovli plain, right in the outer edge of the cluster of trees outside the village. You should’ve  been able to see it when in the path to here”

“That’s… worryingly close.” Wild frowns.

“Yeah, but you’re the coolest swordsman everyone has seen,” Aryll praises “you can surely take care of ‘em in the blink of an eye! right?”

“Oh, girly, you should see Sky in battle” Twilight’s sighs with a grimace, no one can beat Sky in swordsmanship.

“Alright, little lady, you heard mom, it’s bed time.” Wild stands up and picks Aryll up when she makes a grabby gesture towards him.

“Fine, but can I sleep in your bed tonight?? it’s just bigger and softer.” Aryll pleads with big puppy eyes.

“You know what, fine. Uhm…” He looks around and hesitates, there are three beds in the house, two upstairs, and the other in a small but cozy corner under the loft, behind the stairs.

He doesn’t remember which one is his.

“You said you lost your memory, right?” Aryll asks when the house falls silent at his hesitance.

“yeah… sorry”

“Your bed’s the one here behind the stairs”

“Oh, uhm… thanks.”

It’s weird having someone remind you where your bed is.

When he walks up to the bed, he notices Wind going with him, it’s okay, he feels safe, but the extra protectiveness is welcome. Twilight starts helping Wild’s mom clean up.

He maneuvers his sister to plop her on the bed and tuck her nice and warm. She, giggling all the way.

When it looks like the little bundle of joy is breathing slowly Wind speaks quietly.

“I miss her.” He murmurs, looking down toward Wild’s sister, looking for his own.

“I know… guess I’ll miss her too.” Wild replies before pulling his brother into a side hug as they watch the little girl shuffle to a more comfortable position.

Then she opens her eyes and both heroes stiffen. “Would you sing for me?” she asks, not really aware they were talking two seconds ago.

Wild’s heart shatters. 

He doesn’t remember the song.

His eyes tear up again against his will and he crumples on the edge of the bed to hold his long since lost sister close.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, automatically returning the hug even in their uncomfortable position.

“I-I’m gonna miss you.” He sobs.

“But why? you can always come visit. Even in the future.” Aryll comforts.

Oh, sunshine, if only you knew. Wild takes one moment to bury his face into the blanket before standing up and wiping his face. “You know what?” a sniffle “You’re right.”

“Wild…”

“Now sleep, young lady, it’s bedtime.”

“You haven’t sung the song”

“Uhm…” Wild thinks of how to not break his sister’s heart and not sing the song he can’t remember. “How about one different this time huh? I’ve learned a bunch of cool songs lately.”

Aryll gasps “Really??” She gets comfortable and waits for Wild to start up, stars in her eyes.

He chuckles, wipes his still-trying-to-escape tears, and begins singing a song the hero of time once sung to him after a nightmare in the middle of third watch.

The song of healing, Old Man had said when Wild asked what was its name because he liked it.

Aryll was sound asleep by the time he’d finished the song.

.

“Mom, where did you say the monsters were?”

“You can’t mean what I think you mean to do”

“Mom, you heard Aryll, I’m the hylian champion” He looks at her in the eye, hood going back up. “I’ll take care of ‘em in the blink of an eye.” He smirks.

.

“Wild, I know this is more about your village and your family than about being a hero, but please, wait until we make a plan!” Warriors whisper-shouted.

“You guys are taking too long its not even that big of a group.” He responded.

They are spying on the group of monsters— all are residents of this era, all Wild’s, they were due to the calamity, not the shadow— from the edge of the area Zelda wanted to turn into a school, back in his era (or forward?), currently, there is something he can’t distinguish planted and growing, that’s sad because they are nowhere near being ripe and ready to cultivate.

The calamity is nearing, Wild’s mind offers distantly. Will he have to stay so watch it all go down? well he doesn’t want to see that but he certainly doesn’t want to leave.

Back to reality everyone’s ready to jump and attack.

“Wild did you get that?”

“Huh, what?”

Warriors groans, “You and Wind stay here as long as you can and snipe the weakest, they’re little and have no limit of space so they are going to scatter eventually, that’s when you go down and help us with close-combat.”

“Alright, got it”

They all spring into action, they jump off the 15 feet drop and start slashing the weakened by the champion and the sailor.

.

“Aryll, wake up.” The mother shakes the child awake.

“What do you need?” Aryll yawns, rubbing the sleep off her face.

“Your brother’s out there fighting the monsters” The mother grins, because she was where the kids’ mischief came from. “Wanna go and see?”

Aryll is suddenly very awake.

…

Mother and daughter watch the battle from a safe distance, not really hidden, but it’s dark enough for the night to be their hiding spot.

They watch the clad in blue that moves fast and sometimes inhumanely faster, it’s like he becomes lightning for a few seconds and goes back to fight as normal.

They watch him perform something they can only describe as a wild dance, his partner is his sword and shield. Dodge, slash at light speed, block, parry, slash again. The pattern repeats and it’s just as beautiful as he’s ever been. Knighthood seeping through his calculated steps and swings.

The pair can’t help but be proud of  the boy who, they now see clearly, is a hero and will save them from the incoming calamity.

If only they knew.

Before they know it, the battle is over, not even 20 minutes after.

.

“Everyone ok?” Time asks automatically.

“Legend took a slash to the shoulder ‘s not deep, he’s fine, other than that nothing but bruises.”

“Legend, how d’you feel?”

“‘M fine s’not even bleeding that much”

“Alright, then, let’s go ba-“

Times words die in his throat as a portal opens in the middle of the battle area, looks like they were not supposed to meet with the shadow in this era.

Everyone sighs and gets ready to cross.

“Wait no-“

“What do you mean no, Wild?”

“No, I have to-“ He turns back toward the village, he has to at least say goodbye to-

His mother and sister are there, watching from the village, startled expressions on their faces as they process what is about to happen.

They know is time for him to go.

His mother smiles reassuringly at him and waves while his sister resigns herself to watch him go with a little frown.

“No! I don’t want to go! please no- MOM, ARYLL-“ he’s cut off when the portal behind him closes and reopens right under his feet.

-

Thanks for reading!

[swordsandarms]

how would you describe the dynamic between aerys and rhaegar?? no matter what rhaegar was aerys's first and only child for a long time, and tbh i kinda love to delude myself thinking aerys loved him almost as much as he hated? him.....

Wrote about this before, but of course I can't find it, but since it's rarely given enough complexity anyways, might as well do it again.

This is the endless problem of not allowing Targaryens the right to be more than one dimensional and have complicated human feelings and Aerys is probably the sorest spot for it. A lot of people are finally backing down on the weird dehumanisation of Rhaegar, thankfully, but Aerys less so, as he is a big problem even for "Targaryen fans" - he is the sole Targaryen called fully "mad" - that can be acknowledged as that absolute sort of mentally unstable, and in a violent way that can be fully antagonistic, too - bringing that whole can of worms used against a whole 300 years worth of generations of a family, so everyone stays away.

Here comes the tired disclaimer that of course I've got to put out over and over before writing of Aerys as a mere person instead of a fairytale boogieman: he wasn't a good guy with particular virtues; he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed; he wasn't a proactive, great King, and although he spoke of great plans that sounded sound didn't put in the effort to accomplish anything; he wasn't a good father and least of all husband for most of his life, even in his better days with less excuses (well, explanation) to it. Etc etc

But he had the complexity of feelings and behaviour of a whole person! I've said it before but Aerys is one of these background characters dead before the story starts that gets TONS of interiority that adds so much nuance to this otherwise muddled portion of history, but he's not a "nice dead victim" and hence gets little attention while less "lesser" background characters get essays of made up fanon.

Aerys' desire for both successful lineage and grandeur for his House clashing with his deep personal insecurities is more of a downward spiral than his actual mental illness. (Again, something I touched on in a different post that Tumblr won't let me find) Aerys wants and fails to be anything grand, and Rhaegar being seen as great while being nothing like him is a sour spot, because if greatness is his opposition what does that mean? Of course he latches onto Viserys when it's clear he's got his character.

But what about Rhaegar? Did Aerys love him? Did Rhaegar love his father once? He was his prized heir in a positive sense for the longest of their relationship. He kept him close in detriment of his mother's claim on him (took him to Casterly Rock for a year when Joanna died). But does that necessarily say anything about love?

This is the man who would end up hurting his sister, who would be open about the intention to wish bad things upon his child, but he's also grieved these children with his sister once, he's turned to the gods humbled despite his self righteous arrogance, asking if it's him, if he can do anything to make it better.

And, in his madness, Aerys kills Brandon and Rickard for "threatening Rhaegar". Which is fascinating. I've been trying to think of whether he is trying to put Rhaegar in a worse position by it, but it doesn't work. If it were the case, he'd be glad to latch onto the accusations and make the best of it, instead of becoming the bad guy further by "protecting Rhaegar". If he weren't able to think that straight, at least his advisors would (he's got plenty of "whisperers" in his ears, we are told, and they are against Rhaegar's faction). But if they tried, but if they tried it's clear the "he threatened Rhaegar" convoluted thought won.

And I joke about the Rhaenys moment supposedly being the breaking point in Aerys and Rhaegar's relationship from his point of view (of all things) but... With these powerful families, the personal and political are in a constant clash. Yet it is quite something that political tensions are all high ("like before the Dance"), Aerys' undermining and threatening Rhaegar's position is open knowledge, and yet, what gets to Rhaegar finally is his father rejects his child - rejects family.

Was there only honour and "doing things right" in lieu of kinslaying? Was there a reason why it was hard to give up on his father and admit to himself he wasn't salvageable in any lesser ways until it's too late?

And oh, he was ever so aggravated by Rhaegar being so good at things and admired for it, but when he dies in battle... There surely must be some conspiracy, some betrayal for his shining son to be gone. Rhaegar himself wouldn't just be bested without a better explanation! Someone ought to answer for it, damnit!

[reds-skull]

Not Alive, Nor Dead

[PREV PART]

This one is shorter, because I wanted to leave a cliffhanger at the end >:) Fair warning, there's a small paragraph describing wounds in more depth than I usually do!

These are getting more difficult to write haha. Maybe I'm trying to add too many plot points at the same time, but I like a good mystery or 5...

Ghost is tempted to barge into Price’s office for a third time today. He’s been getting increasingly more agitated, and with no missions in the foreseeable future, has no place to let all his frustrations out.

The fact he’s been avoiding MacTavish isn’t helping the situation.

“Avoiding” is a strong word. Ghost is simply waiting for Soap to get what he had told him back then through his thick skull. And hearing the conversations he has with the recruits tells him he absolutely didn’t.

The Scot keeps up a friendly approach with them, making light jokes at his revenant status. Lets enough information out that the recruits don’t feel the need to ask more, but not enough that they would truly understand what is going on.

It would impress him if he didn’t feel this underlying current of freezing ice every time he heard another of Soap’s ‘hilarious’ stories.

Watching Gaz beside him grimace tells him they share the sentiment. The Sergeants have been spending a lot of time together as of late, and Ghost would lie if he said he didn’t wish Garrick would take a moment to speak with him. He’s not one to really focus on what he’s feeling, but he needs to share what he knows with someone.

He wants more brains working on solving the mystery called “Soap”.

Ghost sighs before turning away from Price’s door. 

You’d think, for someone with Ghost’s powers, he wouldn’t need to train his physical strength as much. He wouldn’t, if things worked as they did before he joined the 141. He wasn’t as smart back then.

Ghost throws another flurry of punches at the sack that distracts him from his thoughts for a moment.

Back then, he went into missions back to back, annihilating enemies within a few seconds of touching ground. Receiving orders to unleash Limbo regardless of how close allies were to him. 

Limbo was emptier. Calmer. The not-dead residing within it weren’t always this… angry.

Another set of punches violently shakes the chains the punching bag is hanged by.

It was only after losing several squads that Ghost finally got his tight leash, but it was too late. Limbo was never the same. And neither were his fellow soldiers, who saw in Ghost not a brother in arms, but their friend’s murderer.

Soap might not have his own Limbo, but Ghost is certain his powers can, and if he continues on the path he’s on, will backfire.

Reapers, as generous as they are, are merciless.

He heaves, resting his arm on the abused bag. It might be time to involve Price in his concerns.

The path to Price’s office is intercepted by one floating Sergeant, also on his way to the Captain.

Ghost nods at him, “need the Captain for something?”

Gaz averts his eyes for a moment, “It’s about Soap, I think-”

“Save it for Price’s office”, Ghost restarts on his path, a little more sure of his purpose. With the three of them, he’ll might be able to find out more.

Before Garrick can knock, Price’s words fill their minds.

“I can sense your troubles from here, come in already.”

They both huffed and entered the room. Price sat in front of his computer screen, reading something before addressing them.

“Spill it out then. I’m listening.”

“Soap’s left arm has nerve damage, sir”, Ghost starts, “He needs more time to heal than the brass is giving him. He should be removed from active duty.”

Gaz’s eyes widen in surprise. Oh, so Soap hasn’t let his new friend know about this? Fucking great.

“How the hell is he supposed to fight without one arm?” He exclaims, “Sir, I’m sure this isn’t the first time he’s hiding injuries. He keeps telling stories about how many he got blown to bits and I can’t imagine he-”

Price cuts him off “The Sergeant’s arm injuries are registered and accounted for.”

“The higher-ups let him out when he’s ‘capable of preforming well on field’. His words” Ghost adds and deflates back into his chair.

“Bloody hell…” Gaz trails off.

Price watches both of them and exhales, “I’m not in charge of Soap’s next deployment. I can’t do anything about that.”

Ghost looks at the screen for the first time since entering. Schedules, of…

“Price… what have you found?”

The captain’s expression darkened, “We finally got back the decrypted intel you and Soap collected 7 months ago.”

His focus snaps away from Soap. Are they being sent on a mission finally? “Tell me where you need me, Captain.”

“Switzerland. Intel suggests a deal with a PMC will happen there in 4 days. Shepherd wants eyes on it, the smuggler hub it’s taking place in has been on our radar for months.”

Price drags out 2 files and dumps them in front of Ghost and Gaz, “you two will survey the area and take notes, no engagement. Get it done clean.”

“What about Soap, sir?” Gaz asks.

Price raises an eyebrow, “what about him? He will stay here, waiting for his assignment.” Price tries to reassure the Sergeant, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep him busy. He’ll get to have some alone time in the training grounds”.

Ghost gets up and takes the file with him. They both get dismissed and Gaz stops after a couple of steps, “you need to talk to Soap before we leave.”

Ghost raises an eyebrow, “has he said anything?”.

“No”, Gaz chews on his lip, “But I feel like if he’ll listen to someone, it would be you.”

Ghost walks away, not before muttering, “your feeling’s wrong, then.”

He doesn’t sleep that night. Which isn’t an unfamiliar experience for him, but much rarer after Price found him a bunk bed to drag into his personal room. The victims of Limbo don’t reach up high enough to grasp at him there.

Ghost looks out at the fields, a sense of discomfort lingering around him. Footsteps behind him alert him to the presence of another sleepless soldier. He doesn’t bother turning - they’ll leave him alone when they realize it’s the Ghost, if they know what’s good for them.

It’s for that reason that he’s surprised to hear the footsteps get closer to him, before feeling a body join the window.

Ghost is about to scare the bastard away, but he turns around to find Soap, a somber look marring his features.

“I’ve thought about what you told me”, he speaks lowly, a stark contrast to his usual confident tone.

Ghost hums.

“My powers… don’t allow me to do much.” Soap locks eyes with the night sky, “I either destroy or get destroyed. I supposed you figured what I prefer.”

He did. What he doesn’t understand is why Soap is so adamant that it’s the only way. He turns to Soap, which makes the other finally look at him.

“When you return from your mission, when you’re truly under my command, I’ll decide what your role will be. For now”, he sighs, “for now, you can keep playing a puppet for the higher ups.”

Soap has a distant look to his eyes. As if he’s not really all here. “I do want to learn. How to operate like the 141 does. I’ve heard a lot about you since we last met.”

That doesn’t comfort Ghost in the slightest.

“Care to share?” He cautiously asks.

Soap, for the first time in days, shines a genuine smile at him, “You’re a bit of a myth sir. Each person seems to have a different idea of what your powers really are, how your Reaping went”

He raises his head, “None of them come close to the truth”.

“What else have you heard?” Ghost continues digging his own second grave.

“Does it matter? It’s all shite anyway.” Soap huffs, “You’re far softer than any of them realize”

He barks what could be a laugh, “Softer? Sergeant, have you hit your head in training?”

Soap fucking pouts his lips like a damn child and replies “Aye I said it! Yer soft LT! Who else would’ve cared about my arm!” His smile broadens.

Ghost can feel his eyes crescent, “I think your brain’s more messed up than I originally thought.”

“That’s for fuckin’ certain” Soap snorts.

They return to their previous silence, and Ghost unexpectedly has the urge to say, “me and Garrick are leaving for a mission tomorrow. Don’t get yourself into trouble.”

Soap rests his head in his flaming hand, leaning against the window sill, smiling up at Ghost.

“Copy that, sir”.

The mission isn’t anything to write home about. Ghost does feel surprisingly refreshed for not sleeping a wink the night before.

He refuses to acknowledge that Soap’s farewell to them on the tarmac has anything to do with that.

Gaz lifts a chunk of concrete for them to overwatch the meeting happen. The PMC representatives, a dozen soldiers covered head to toe in black uniforms, exchange with the smugglers a few words before walking over to their truck and opening the back to check the “goods”. From their location, Ghost can’t see what’s inside.

The PMC Soldiers seem pleased, and bring several crates to the smugglers.

The two parties leave, and Ghost and Gaz finish their observations and call for exfil.

When they return to their home base, Ghost notes only Price waiting for them on the tarmac.

They get dragged into debrief before he can ask where their other Sergeant is.

As Price collects the various files and maps they used in the meeting, Ghost stays behind and inquires him about Soap’s whereabouts.

“The Sergeant deployed last night”, is all he’s got clearance to get.

Price tells him he’ll be informed when the Sergeant returns, and Ghost leaves the meeting room, unsettled as if he didn’t just finish a mission.

The days are incredibly unremarkable without Soap. He and Garrick have played about 15 card game rounds in 3 days, before they both got so bored the preferred doing nothing at all.

He would be drowning in paperwork if their entire previous mission didn’t unexpectedly get wrapped in red tape, so he didn’t even have that to distract him. Although, with the size of Price’s eye bags resembling several suitcases, maybe he shouldn’t complain.

At last, Gaz runs up to him to swiftly push him towards the tarmac, yapping about and telling him that Soap is about to return.

Ghost decides then that he will stick to the Scot until he’ll tell him every single detail on his mission. Specifically, in the medical department. He’s not going to let him hide such things anymore.

Gaz sees the helo nearing and Ghost’s chest does a bizarre twisting motion in anticipation for Soap and his bright smiles.

The helo touches down, and Gaz runs up to it while the ramp lowers. He calls for Soap before abruptly stopping.

Ghost pushes beyond him to see what’s the holdup, and freezes in place.

Soap stands on one, shaky leg. His left arm, bloody and bruised, barely hangs on a crutch. His entire right side is charred, black blood caking his remaining tac vest.

He hops down slowly, and Ghost sees his face more clearly in the sunlight. Or what is left of it.

His cheek was so badly burned he could see his teeth poking through, blood covering what is certainly more burn marks. One eye shut, the other so vacant it looks fake.

He glances at Ghost for a moment, before Soap breaks the eye contact and continues hopping forward, leaving droplets of blood behind him. Distantly, he can hear Gaz shaking off from his stupor and offering to help Soap, only to be completely ignored.

Ghost himself is still stuck, his eyes glued to the helo sits.

Soap’s is covered in deep red blood.

Should probably remind y'all I like angst huh

[genshin-squabbles-and-wobbles]

The Enraged Inferno || Part 3

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Character: Diluc

Type: Angst, tragedy, Revenge and Reader in her villian era

Tags: Fem!Reader

About being Taglisted in my stories: Here

Requester: @sailorstar9

Content: You traveled to Mondstadt to deliver a medicine order for Baizhu. You decided to stay in Mondstadt and expand his buisness there. You just met with Jean and treated her like the way she treated you but worse, but then...you met Diluc, he was all over the place, as his facade fell apart immediately once he saw you. It was like the light of his life was brighten again, only that...you were...different.

Trigger Warning: I might be a little violent in this story to stress the Villain Era the reader is in, and also, dealing with trauma so please proceed with caution. I might add cursing a bit, please let me know if you can feel the idea of the reader without the cursing. I might've also like included something about the idea of lobotomy in there so please, be careful.

Part 1: Here Part 2: Here

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[ 9 Years ago, 12 year old ]

"Aha Luc! Look! Look! I found wild grapes!" You smiled as you showed him healthy fully grown grapes.

Diluc smiled and blushed at you. "Those look pretty...would you want to maybe...grow a large grape farm together...?"

You widen your eyes and jumped happily. "Yes! That is sooo cool! Imagine all the grape juice we can give to everyone!?" You hugged Diluc. "You keep being so smart, Luc!"

Diluc smiled and blushed more. He hugged you back, as he imagined a future where you and him would grow grapes together, and sunbathed under the sun together. Then drink grape juice, laying in the grass under the moon.

Kaeya then joined in on the hug. "Hey guys, why not do wine? Dad says it cost money and we can have a lot fo money!"

You looked at him. "Oh wow. That is so true!"

You three laughed together, in ignorant bliss.

[ 5 Years ago, 17 year old ]

"Hey Luc." You slumped down next to him and handed him a grape juice box. You poked a hole in yours and took a sip.

Diluc looked at you. "Something wrong?" He did the same, as he took a bigger sip.

"Nah, I am okay." You smiled at him, kindly.

"I know you better then that, don’t lie to me now." Diluc leaned back and stared straight. He didn’t need to try and guess your emotions. You became second hand nature for him to read.

You chuckled. "What gave it away?"

He shrugged. "I just know...what's wrong..?"

You smiled and sighed. "I..."

Diluc interrupted. "You saw adventures and the monsters fought brutally and you feel troubled. You want everyone to get along and live in peace?"

You looked at him shocked. "H-How did you...!!"

Diluc laughed. "Haha you are too cute, of course I'll know. You are such a gentle soul, with a kind heart. I could never get over that. I can indulge you in that forever." He smiled at you.

You blushed and looked away.

[ Current ]

Diluc was looking down at you, at your dead face. You pushed his away from your chin, and sighed. "Diluc, please sign the receipt so I can leave, I have things to do." You spoke coldy to him.

He looked at you, dumbstrucked once more. "Diluc...? You won't call me Luc anymore??". However, as a defense mechanism of his he will pretend this didn’t bother him, despite the mess he was right now. He sighed and nodded slowly and turned, pulled a pen from his desk and sighed the receipt. He then turned to you, and handed you the receipt.

You then turned and walked away, no goodbye, no nothing. Diluc tried to watch you walk away, however this was too much for him, he immediately put his head in his hand, desperate once more. He immediately ran ahead of you and came in front of you, preventing you from leaving his office.

"I-I love you!" Diluc said desperately. "I have always loved you! I left that stupid arrange marriage for you, I left Jean for you, I love you! Please just listen to me! I've always loved you, since we were young! Your smile, your playful natu-"

"Diluc move." You spoke sternly with a red glint in your eyes. You pushed him aside, and opened the door, left. You had no time for some dumb romantic shit. You had no space in your heart for it, anyways. But at the moment, you didn’t care.

Diluc obediently let you pushed him aside and he stood, watching you leave his vicinity. He slowly clenched his fist, with trembling jaw. Small tears streaming down his face. Perhaps...it was still the same tragedies in his life, nothing changed.

You walked out, and sighed. You had one goal in mind, revenge. You walked back to your new home in Mondstadt, and mailed the letter to Baizhu. You began cleaning up your new home, and throwing things away. Keeping somethings. You began turning the living room into a pharmacy with shelves and turning some rooms into patient rooms. After all, you were a dendro healer like your uncle. Just, without that cursed snake.

You were success, you made the place look homey and decent. You made one room your office, and kept the upstairs part as your home. A kitchen, a bedroom, and a smaller living room. You didn’t need much. You didn’t have much anyways. Not anymore. That version of you was lost long ago.

Next week, you stocked shelves and made proper arrangement for patient rooms, with tools and necessary items, thanks to Baizhu. He approved, and everything was shipped. You now deal with orders coming from Mondstatd, and anyone who needs assistance. You created a partnership with the church, specifically Barbara, who was happy to be in a partnership with you.

As she can bring her patience over, or be the doctor in charge if she liked, while you handle pharmaceutical things. You can send your customers to her, if you notice something serious within their health. This was perfect, as now that you had two sponsors, that were certified healers and doctors, you felt confident enough to open.

You were about to start a new life, on your own. This was a first step towards healing, as you never knew it at first. That was until you saw that face. The one you wanted to strangle. Immediately, you had eyes on her. This was the first servant, the phase one servant you called it, that one that lured you. She lured you to the area of the supposed accident. You lifted your sleeve up looking at the scars and back at her through the window.

Your face darken immediately, you walked to the window, and used your nails to scratch at the window.

The noise caught the servant's attention and turns towards you, as her blood ran cold. All she saw was your darken angry face, with scratch marks at the window. At first, she assumed she was being haunted, but once she realize you were real...you were alive...immediately, she turned and walked away. Running away.

Immediately you followed after her, you had a dog collar, a syringe and other medicinals on you. Pondering what to do to this little shit stain here. Strangle her? Comatose her? Keep her as a pet in the basement? Naked or rotten clothed? Poison? You wanted to give this women hell like no other, worse than death even. Maybe you can lobotomize her, make her bedridden, see how she likes it if her family relied on your pharmacy to get medicine for her.

All of a sudden you bumped into someone.

"My My...it has been a while, and it looks like you are on your way to d some..."business"..."

You looked up and widen your eyes. "Kaeya.." You muttered and slowly backed away.

"It has been quite a while...I knew you weren’t dead but I am actually glad to see you in the flesh again, old friend." Kaeya had a teasing smile, but you know it was genuine. He placed his hand on your back.

"I don’t know what is going on in that head of yours...but everyone has been telling me how scary you have become...what happened to you?"

"What happened to you? And your eye?" You made a rebuttal, as you remember Kaeya as a shy cry baby, who would always ask you or Diluc for help. But this man is entirely independent and ferocious. Manipulative and sly. He smelled like he drinks alcohol on a daily basis and...he was a knight.

Kaeya chuckled. "I guess we both have some explaining to do...let's have a drink. On me. We can do it at your place, since you have it empty right now." You looked at him and sighed. For some reason, Kaeya brings out a different side of you, a more vulnerable side, as if, he see right through you. He wasn’t like this before, however, it seems he can tell, or you are just showing your emotions too much and he can read them like a book.

As you Kaeya walked in your new home, and pharmacy, Diluc watched you both from a distance, as he was in the middle of entering Angel Share for his Shift. He tightened his grip on the door knob, as he was jealous. Why did he get such a cold treatment but you welcomed Kaeya with open arms...has he brainwashed you? He had an angry glare as he watched the door shut with the two of you in there, alone.

One thing for sure, you two were getting closer while he was in the sidelines watching.