#there’s a reason why country people look down on people who get alt milk

[miserye]

The milk here is like . Actually really nice .. I think I understand why milk drinkers exist

[elliegoose]

got tagged by @annunakitty in a thing! yippee tag game!

now the tag game was to introduce yourself with:

one tv show

one movie

one album

one video game

however, i'm doing two for each category! why? because i'm cute and special and get to change the rules, of course! and also because i'm really enthusiastic about sharing my favorite things with people.

tv shows: adventure time & scavengers reign

not being able to pick between these two shows is the reason i'm doing two for each category. adventure time is my all-time favorite show hands down, but scavengers reign took second place (overtaking russian doll, which previously held that rank) when it absolutely blew me away earlier this year. i've watched it twice now and definitely plan on giving it a third watch sometime soon.

movies: i saw the tv glow (2024) & suspiria (2018)

as someone who repressed my gender really hard throughout most of college after flirting with transitioning in high school, this movie really spoke to me. i've seen it twice now and found a lot of value in the rewatch. i definitely want to watch it again at least one more time. this is an incredibly profound movie that has changed me as a person.

on the other hand, suspiria (2018) is an enduring favorite of mine for a very silly reason. it is a straight up good movie, but the actual reason it's my second pick for this post is that for like a year after first watching it, i kept seeing the mangled bodies of characters from it as sleep paralysis hallucinations. it was terrifying at the time but i find it incredibly funny to look back on, and think very fondly of this film in general. i got to rewatch parts of it for free irl! thanks, sleep paralysis demons!

albums: feather river canyon blues by pigeon pit & kudzu, devour everything! by levees

for two years now, feather river canyon blues has very unambiguously been my favorite album of all time. it's lomes oleander's bold, dense, imagery-filled lyricism at its best, backed by the full band that her voice deserves playing alt-country sounds that strike the perfect balance between gentle and energetic. it's simultaneously desperate and hopeful, joyous and melancholy, and at every moment filled to the brim with emotion and beauty. this album feels like watching every sunset at once surrounded by your best friends and loved ones. transgender folk music will save us. if you have to pick one song from this album to listen to, make it milk crates:

kudzu, devour everything! is the reason i started playing banjo. levees is a friend of a friend, and i was introduced to their music because said friend was praising this album in our friend group's discord server. i find levees' idiosyncratic manner of clawhammer playing--often very fast and full of non-traditional rhythms--to be absolutely magical. their songwriting is also excellent, full of vivid stories and characters sung about in prose that weaves effortlessly between the elegantly straightforward and beautifully dense. i also recommend listening to their album vultures, as well as quarantipilation volumes 1 & 2. it's actually not one of the songs that contains banjo, but if you have to pick one to listen to from this album, i recommend her/hymn/their, which won't embed for some reason but hey here's the link

(also, honorable mention to drink the sea by the glitch mob, which is the first album i ever really fell in love with, and which inspired little 13-year-old elise to grab a copy of ableton and learn how to make music myself. until feather river canyon blues came along, i would have probably picked drink the sea for this post.)

video games: signalis & mice tea

first off, i cried at the end of signalis! while streaming! it was really, really good!!! it has a delightfully dreadful atmosphere, great story, very interesting worldbuilding, phenomenal art style, and excellent character design. plus, it was great for practicing my german. i strongly recommend signalis to anyone who likes survival horror.

second off, yes, i am choosing mice tea, a transformation fetish visual novel, as my second pick here. judge me all you like. i stand by my choice. its story is fun! the characters are excellent! its humor and conceptual ridiculousness disarm you and make way for genuinely emotionally impactful storylines! it has a lot of interesting commentary on gender! it almost single-handedly turned me into furry! also, it's hot! go play mice tea!

now, finally, it is time to tag! don't feel pressured to pick multiple things or provide explanations like i did! i just enjoy doing more than is assigned lmao. tagging @rotten-spaceymage, @birras0, @citrusuprising, @roboticvenusian, @femboty2k, and anyone who sees this and wants to do it themselves!

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “The Blossom Files”

Written by: Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Caitlin Vanarsdale, Angela Zhang

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

The truth is out there...and you're not going to like it.

The episode starts with Bubbles, Buttercup, and Barry recreating a portal to space from a magazine to find out the truth about the aliens from some distant galaxy. Blossom shows up, and she is annoyed at all of this. Not because this gate to the stars is clearly made up of cardboard, appliances, and Blossom's toothbrush randomly put in the shape of one, though it probably doesn’t help, but because...

Blossom: There’s no such things as space aliens! How do I know this? Because there’s absolutely zero proof! If you can’t see it, there’s no proof!

No, not just the specific aliens they're talking about, or the methods they're doing to get those aliens to appear, but to Blossom, aliens don't exist. Because it's not like Blossom has even seen an alien, never mind fought them. Especially not broccoli aliens. Especially not aliens that can predict their every move.

And especially not transforming alien crimelords. For the record, this episode did air in other countries before Never Been Blissed. Those other two examples came from the original; the reboot still can't decide whether or not that show happened.

Still, the Powerpuff Girls have fought giant monsters, super-powered vikings, ghostly Elvis supervillains, the devil, and magical extra-dimensional twerking pandas. The possibility that something around the billions of suns in this universe is alive should not be too hard to believe. This could be irony, but the episode does nothing to suggest that was intentional.

As those silly alien believers activate their gate to the stars, a surprise visitor emerges and asks them to take them to their leader! Buttercup tries to act like one, but the alien immediately tells her she is not a leader. A good tie in to the personality of who this turns out to be.

Of course, it’s just Blossom doing a prank towards the people she loves. Well, maybe not Barry. I hope. She's the bad guy of the episode, after all! She continues to mock the alien believers, knowing this will in no way blow up in her face like that kid who cried wolf.

I could see where they're going with this. Bubbles, Buttercup, and Barry are doing this unbelievable action to find some unbelievable creature, and Blossom, the super-smart one that knows everything, is the one that’s the down-to-Earth science believer that mocks them for it. The alien believers even put on tin-foil hats in the previous scene to secure their placement in this stock plot original storyline.

At night, Blossom gets up to get a glass of milk. Strawberry milk, to be precise. It’s almost like that old Got Milk commercial Blossom was in, except without all of that pesky crime fighting it came with. Clearly, we just needed more Blossom thinking her sisters are buffoons for believing in aliens.

Speaking of which, the fake gate to the stars starts flashing, and Blossom goes out to investigate, and to stop the gate from wasting all the electricity. Struggling to find the off switch, something pops out of the portal and steals her strawberry milk.

Specifically, a baby octopus-looking alien named Chiru. Clearly, it must be an alien; it can only say its own name. If it was an animal in this reboot, it would be talking and giving Bubbles less of a reason to exist. I'm surprised that they decided to avoid Blossom trying to rationalize what she's seeing, one look at this alien is all it takes for her to become a believer.

Blossom follows around Chiru throughout the night, as it takes her on a journey throughout a forest and a lake. It uses its powers to grow trees and generate fireflies, giving Blossom some great scenery to be in awe at. I actually really like this scene; it eschews the reboot's focus on dialogue and humor and focuses more on building a dream-like atmosphere.

I could imagine this whole scene being a dream, and I was dreading to think they were going to just smash cut to Blossom waking up. However, the way they cut from this scene made me feel like they're leaving up to the viewer if it really was a dream. It made me more interested in watching the rest of the episode to see where it was going, which should be a standard.

We fade to Blossom waking up the next morning on her couch after supposedly laying in the middle of a grassy field grown by Chiru, and immediately wakes up her sisters to tell them all about her adventures with the alien. Buttercup thinks Blossom is playing another prank on her, but she drags them outside to see all of the wacky stuff the alien did. To her shock...

There's only an adorable raccoon, according to Bubbles. Much like a lot of episodes in the reboot, there's very little to seperate Buttercup and Bubbles other than Bubbles' actions being sillier. I will give this episode a point for having a joke that implies Bubbles can still talk to animals.

Blossom desperately tries to point to where all the alien plants were, but they're gone, too. Bubbles gives the most down-to-earth explanation that she dreamt the whole thing, while Buttercup calls her a nutbar. Blossom is not willing to let her beliefs be challenged by what are surprisingly believable explanations from the airhead and the rascal, so she decides to do a plan.

The next night, Blossom decides to set up a photo camera, draw a few crop circles in the ground, bang a gong in the middle of the night, and laying out a glass of strawberry milk, all to lure out Chiru. Blossom doesn’t even put on her pajamas before this, but neither do Bubbles and Buttercup when they come up to ask why Blossom is doing any of this. See, the tin-foil hat has turned; now it's Blossom being the wacky alien believer this time!

I should point out that even though Blossom is acting like the pinhead this time, even if she might be right, they decide not to do any wacky face jokes with her. In fact, the only real wacky face jokes is Buttercup's face shrinking when she goes "ooo-ooo-ooo" when talking about aliens. This is one inconsistency I can appreciate. With Bubbles and Buttercup on the side of the non-believers, who can Blossom turn to?

Enter Barry Macherbacher, who just decided to show up in full Men In Black gear. He is less willing to consider Blossom a nutbar, but he denies Blossom's claim because the alien she's describe doesn't sound anything like the aliens in his big red book. As soon as he reveals this picture, Blossom points out something behind him.

Well, so much for the “what if she really was dreaming” possibility, as we suddenly see a giant, tentacled alien coming out of the portal. It's rather sudden, though I do appreciate that they chose the ending that makes sense in this universe.

The Powerpuff Girls could easily take this monster on with all of their ultra-super-powers. They're not going to be instantly tied up in the alien's tentacles, and be helpless to the point where they need a raccoon to save them.

They instantly get tied up in the alien's tentacles, and Bubbles attempts to get a raccoon to save them. They do not even try to fight this monster. No eye lasers, no super strength, no aura powers, as far as this plot goes, they may as well be ordinary human beings. Bubbles doesn't even attempt to speak raccoon; it could have reminded me this was not meant to be a plot to a different cartoon.

(The racoon leaves)

Bubbles: Ah, Waterloo all over again.

Oh yeah, Blossom dressed that racoon up as Napoleon because...I have no idea. It is the one thing that seems to be consistent with what we've seen in the reboot so far: Blossom still doesn't know who won the Battle of Waterloo.

Suddenly, Chiru shows up in full view, and does some sort of wave attack. This causes the tentacle monster to go back into the portal, letting go of the Powerpuff Girls. Chiru also destroys the portal and Blossom's camera, and then just leaves. Yes, mark this as yet another episode where the Powerpuff Girls have to be saved by the character of the week.

The episode ends with Blossom gloating that she knew she was right all along about Chiru, and does a victory dance out of screen. The only real punishment she gets for essentially bullying her sisters because they believed in aliens before is Buttercup calling her a nutbar again. The episode suddenly cuts to black, with no real resolution. Well, I guess this is supposed to be like the X-Files.

Does the title fit?

They were going for Mulder and Scully, in both ways.

How does it stack up?

I try to find some positives with every episode I review, and it was easy to spot here. I was intrigued when I saw Blossom flying around with the alien in the dream-like forest, and it's sad that the rest of the episode does not live up to it. It's good to see Barry in a major role, too, even if he doesn't really do anything funny.

Other than that, I could not get into this episode. Your mileage may vary, but this flying object is best left unidentified.

Next, PPG 2016 tackles the timely pop culture sensation that is Survivor!

← Man Up 3: The Good, The Bad, And The Manly ☆ Aliver →

[nyanzaya]

OC asks: All even for Zuo, All odds for Iza please.

OC asksZuo: EvensIza: Odds

1. Iza’s favorite color is blue! It’s one of the few colors he can see without assistance.2. Zuo collects small charms. From the simplest looking heart-shaped charm to a complex multi-scale charm.3. I don’t believe Iza is allergic to anything other than stupidity.

4. Zuo wears the simple things, such a boring grey clothing to dark shades of red and light blues. Normally he sports a rather nice suit, of course it’s mainly so Iza can spot him quite easily and leave before Zuo gets aggressive towards him.5. His first memory is that of his first master! Mainly the good parts before things had gone south. Those memories, Iza willingly blocks out still having a bubble-gum picture of his first master, thinking that he could do no harm to him, when really his first master had set Iza up to become an obedient pleasure pet when he was young (perhaps around the age of 7 to 14).6. Zuo’s favorite animal is rabbits. He finds them to be cute, and he wouldn’t harm them at all. I believe he wants a pet rabbit! The animal he likes the least is fish. He doesn’t like anything that is slimy and gross.7. I believe Iza would be air! He can be quite flighty and finicky depending on the situation his secondary element would be water. Underneath his rather aloof or even cold-hearted facade is quite an emotional guy. (He cries a lot I can’t lie.)8. This is a tough one! I haven’t exactly found any songs for Zuo but I think Leo - Xan Griffin (feat. NÉONHÈART) fits him well! 9. Iza and an alt of Izaya Orihara, specifically his neko!version that I haven’t exactly seen anyone use? I remember seeing a few. His voice claim…ah…i don’t have one honestly he doesn’t sound like Izaya, his voice is more… kind of a higher pitch but he doesn’t sound feminine.It’ hard to explain without a voiceclaim, I think I’ll find one for him one day lol10. I suppose he would be wrath. Sometimes he does lose his temper a little too quickly, especially if he saw something immoral. He’s quite hot-headed sometimes for sure but he calms down quickly.11. Oh god. Iza and his hobbies. He has quite a few. A few of his hobbies is ‘scouting out’ potential targets. Even though he doesn’t commit the murder himself he has this tendency in getting to know the person before offing them. Another hobby of his observing people in order to study body language. He is quite good at reading body language already but he loves to learn more. Then..his darker hobbies. They consist of well, torture hahaha. He keeps that hobby hidden!12. Zuo tries very hard to be patient, like very hard. Sometimes he simply can not handle the day and lashes out, letting it be known that he should be left alone. Although, he is usually outside, finding the outdoors to be much better than being inside. He enjoys being outside because he can let off steam if he got angry, usually resorting to punching an inanimate object, like walls or poor trees. Zuo has his good days and bad days, on a good day he is very calm and doesn’t resort to fighting, of course, on a bad day there is a lot of fighting for the road warrior.13. Iza is a male, he is homosexual, his race is Japanese/German(I was actually thinking about his dad and I concluded his dad is probably German lmao), He is a neko (Nekomimi?) His cat breed is Burmese! His occupation is an infobroker, with a side business dealing with hitmen/women and/or assassins14. Zuo loves savory things and things with sauce. If you can make that steak with a sauce or make it taste great he would love it. The food he likes the least is anything sweet, since he can not taste sweet things :( Whenever he gets a sweet he attempts to eat it at some point but often he finds it to be bland and tasteless, resulting in the food to be thrown away. I think he can still have ice cream but only certain flavors!15. Knowing Iza, he would probably want an exotic animal. Nothing small either because he may end up eating it. I think he would want a wolf-dog or a Savanna cat! 16. Zuo smells weird in my opinion? He has catnip cigarettes so I’m not sure if he would smell like smoke or mint, but I like to think he smells like mint, with a few hints of grass and iron, maybe something akin to being sweet? But I don’t think he can smell the sweetness.17. The way Iza makes a living is quite simple, he sells information to people who are willing to pay for it. He makes additional money with his side business. The job he wouldn’t want is something where he has to work hard, like a laborer. His dream job is to be an artist or a chef! Current he is quite content with his information selling job.18. Zuo’s greatest fear is to be scorned and abandoned, especially by his mother. His mother is his source of praise and confidence. If he didn’t have his mother I think he would be more reclusive and to himself. He is very afraid of losing his lover or hurting them on accident even. Zuo doesn’t think of himself as a monster, even if he has a lot of strength (though not as much as Shizuo) but his mother had put it in him since he has been young that his strength should be used to help people and to protect people, and of course, being the mommy’s boy, Zuo listened to his mother taking it to an extreme that everything much be in a particular order and that he should be praised for helping. This extreme gone so far as to have Zuo bring his morals into it, knowing that “This is right” and “This is wrong.” and should he ever find out that someone was even the littlest bit of evil he would want to correct it, to get rid of the evil, of course putting Iza in this equation does not help at all as Iza is neutral evil or the purest form of evil (even if his alignment can change in the moment, Iza is at the core neutral evil.) a clear weakness as I explained his morals is well, his stubbornness and self-righteousness. A strength of his is being a natural protector, coming to the aid of most people!19. Iza’s music genera is quite large, from pop to rock to anime openings to dubstep, all of it. There are even some country songs he likes. Though, most songs he tends to fall in love with, are indeed love songs. His favorite song changes all the time but he always come back to this song: Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen (lyrics) and The Vincent Black Shadow - El Monstruo20. Zuo is already in our world. I don’t think this one can be used D: Ahhh…but I mean if he was in the real world he would probably be angry all the time if he watched the news lol21. Iza has a ton of personal issues! Perhaps too many to even say, but at the base of it all, this poor cat needs therapy and probably medication for his PTSD and hallucinations. He has lived through so much I honestly don’t know how he is alive. I believe he is undiagonsed for anxiety, depression and ptsd. There might even be a bit of split personality as well? But it’s very hard for me to say since I don’t know much about split personalities ^^; A few of his pet peeves are being touched without knowing, he gets scared when someone wants to touch his ears without warning since a few people had been too rough with his ears. Don’t try to touch his tail, because he will probably stab you without hesitation. He is hypocritical and finds it to be annoying when someone is being rude to him when he was rude to them lol. He is quite petty over the little things.22. Zuo was that kind of student who didn’t want to work hard but liked to do sports, so of course he had to do well in his classes or else he wouldn’t be able to play in the games, because of that condition he ended up working hard than he needed too. If I were to stereotype Zuo in high school he would probably be that jock that defended the other kids from bullies because he couldn’t tolerate them.23. Unlike Zuo, Iza can taste sweet things! He doesn’t indulge in anything sweet besides strawberry milk! (Zuo and Iza can’t have chocolate unless they want to get sick/poisoned. They can have a tiny amount but that’s about it.)24. Zuo’s outlook on life is quite black and white. He thinks everything can fit into a certain box. If it doesn’t fit he puts it in to a “Well, I guess that’s alright depending.” Box? He is very optimistic about life and thinks for the best. His philosophy is: “If it fits. It sits.” What a very cat-like philosophy honestly, but for him it’s to justify if it’s worth it? Like that one quote “If the shoe fits, it’s yours” or something like that LOL. Zuo thinks life is interesting, probably fun for him since he loves to be outside to experience everything!25. OH MAN. So. Honestly, Iza was created on a whim! It was a stroke of quick inspiration from falling in love with Neko!Izaya. The way I first had Iza was he was a stray cat that caused trouble for seemingly no reason? He had no motive or particular reason why he would cause trouble other than to…cause trouble. I don’t think Iza is a fancharacter? Well he might be considered as such actually. His personality is very complex. At first, he started out as a mix of both Roppi and Izaya? But after a few tweaks he turned out to be quite different from how he originally was. Iza is very intelligent and thinks before he speaks, of course he has moments of impulse where he does or says something without thinking. He is quite charming and often when first interacting with people he plays very friendly, more so to come off as non-threatening to underhandedly get things he wants. For example, if he wanted to get petted, he would intentionally act more cat-like, such a purr and meow to get people to pet him. When he meows, his meows mean different things. The more he meows the more he is trying to come off as “I’m not a smart person, I can meow and say a few words, please take care of me.” the less he meows the more he is “I’m far more superior to you or anyone else in this room. If you think you are better than me you better prove it.” It’s very complex honestly. Sometimes he mixes the two just right. He can be very compromising and very selfish. Iza is honestly a ball of contradictions because he is always at a constant stand off with himself mentally and emotionally. I could explain so much more but I think his Bio explains it pretty good!26. Zuo’s mother, Aiko, of course! She is literally all Zuo has left of what could be called his family. He doesn’t know his father. Honestly, I think Iza is the least important person to Zuo? Of course, Iza is still a great influence of Zuo, since who else is suppose to stop Iza’s evil plans of taking over the world? 27. As a child, Iza was taken care of very well? Despite the fact that he was sold for profit he was placed in good hands that was his first master who let Iza act as a cat for practically all of his childhood. His first master did take very good care of Iza, until his company was bought out and he was losing everything. He didn’t want to get rid of Iza, since Iza was basically all he had when his wife divorced him, but the person who bought the company, Iza’s soon to be second master blackmailed Iza’s first master and was basically forced to give Iza up after he had completed what Iza’s second master had demanded: Turn Iza into a sex pet. Of course, Iza’s first master didn’t want to do this at all, but left with no choice and being black mailed, he did just that. Once Iza was 13-14 he handed Iza over, which basically had broken Iza’s fragile heart and was then chained to a bed until he had gotten free of his 2nd masters old. Truthfully, I don’t know how Iza got away, but I suspect that his second master’s home had gotten raided and the people took Iza with them only to sell him off again, since for what Iza is, he is an expensive cat being that he is pure black with red eyes.28. Zuo is quite confident, I don’t believe he has any nervous habits? Nor does he stim, but for addictions, he is very addicted to his catnip cigarettes as they help calm him down when he is going to explode from rage.29. So, I actually had to think about this. He could have a few eiptaphs. One could be “He died doing what he loved: Testing gravity to the limits.” because honestly that can imply that he died because he threw himself off a building to see if gravity would work and forgot to save himself lmao but that’s dark or the opposite where he was just known to knocking things off tables to test if gravity was working. One phrase he might have is “"I’ll be there when you don’t know what you should do. If you heart breaks I’ll be there to fit it too.“” because he is terrible and something about saying he would be there to fix it too even when he is gone would probably leave this weird complicated feeling. Another one would have to be “"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that there are things that will never go back to how they used to be.““ He’s the kind of guy who doesn’t want anyone to be sad if he is gone? Because even he doesn’t want to be in this world anymore sometimes lol.30. Truthfully, I believe Zuo would definitely want to get married but his issues is he would lose himself in other people? Especially when he puts too much trust and himself in other people. I think Zuo wants kids as well lol, if I wanted to stay with the whole ‘Zuo and Iza are equal and opposite reactions to each other.’ Zuo wouldn’t want kids, but I mean honestly, he would probably want his legacy to live on. He doesn't have any kids.31. Iza’s most traumatic memory is when his second master had caught him, dragged him to the basement and chained him chest forward against the wall and gave him a few lashes with a whip. He has nightmares of the exact moment and sometimes he even hallucinates that he is back there again, feeling an intense pain on his back. Though, on the contrary, his most beloved memory is in high school, when he met Sinzuo! Of course, Sinzuo didn’t like Iza at all? And they would fight but that memory is very important to Iza because it’s probably the first time he ever got to control his actions in making someone angry with him or happy with him. That memory helped shaped Iza to be how he is today!32. The one thing Zuo wants in the world is for peace as well as all evil to be gone? He doesn’t like the idea of evil or immoral things, but well, he has to learn one day that he can’t eradicate all evil and I think he will learn that lesson soon.33. You are talking about Iza here. He kills for a living LOL, but would he do it personally? Of course he would. There are many reasons why he would do it personally: To show that he has the capability to catch and kill someone(this would happen because of his feline instincts, and he does hunt small critters but sometimes he gets bold and goes big or goes home), For his own self-worth (I know that he wants to kill Izaya? Because he hates to be compared or even mistaken for Izaya), Then, out of sheer pettiness. He is quite spiteful and vengeful but it isn’t a common occurrence, it happens usually when the person becomes an inconvenience and Iza doesn’t need them anymore and they ruined a project of his (Project as in a job).34. It’s tough to say for Zuo, since he doesn’t exactly fit into a group? I suppose one group he would fit in is with other vigilantes? Zuo likes to play the role of leader. It depends, but I think his actual role would be that of a leader, though if there already is a leader his secondary role would be that of a sub-leader? Kind of like a manager, I guess. 35. Iza is very imaginative! It depends on if he interacted with people, but if he didn’t he can be lost in day dreams, thinking of things that are probably unspeakable. If he triggers himself he will suffer from anxiety and hallucinate. Sometimes he gets nostalgic and starts to remember pleasant memories, something that’s all he thinks about if he isn’t doing anything to keep himself occupied. Though, if he is alone for too long he will start to revert back into his “cat-mind set” where he is just a cat.36. I think the thing Zuo wants the most in the world is someone he can call his own. A lover or a soulmate. He has a strong need to be with someone he loves because he needs to be praised and loved. Zuo would do just about anything to have someone of his own. Probably sink as low as to kill for it if he really had too. 37. Hmm… I think there is a lot of things Iza does that most people don’t normally do? Just, I don’t know what is normal for people to do? I mean, I guess something Iza does that normal people don’t do is dance on a stripper pole to increase his dexterity and leg strength? Of course, there is also the fact that he meows and purrs a lot that normal people don’t do either lol38. I don’t think Zuo would know what to do with a million dollars other than go out and indulge on his favorite things to do such as: buy his mother an expensive gift, go and buy things for himself, like a new computer, clothes, maybe go to the bar and buy a few drinks and maybe even go to a club. 39. Currently in Iza’s fridge: Strawberry milk, eggs, fruits, bottled water, tea (that isn’t catnip tea the kind that you can buy at the store lol), left over sushi from last night, a few snacks(ham slices, turkey slices, imitation crab and lobster). On his bedroom floor: Cat toys, shoes. On his nightstand: bottled water, his cup that he uses for his catnip tea, an unopened condom because he doesn’t care if anyone sees it, his phone charger. In his trash can: Old fruit, old sushi, broken cups and plates. 40. For a night out, Zuo would be going out if he was asked or if he smelled Iza in the area. Depending on what it is, if he was asked to go out he would wear nice casual clothing, perhaps border-line business casual. If it’s because Iza is out he would wear his normal clothes when he goes to fight Iza. 41. When Iza is angry, he get’s hissy or even passive-aggressive. He would hiss or growl at people, though if he was provoked to the point of no return, he would physically hurt someone, whether by scratching or stabbing. It’s not often that Iza gets angry but he would get hissy/growl because he is giving a warning. When he gets passive-aggressive it’s because he knows he can’t fight the person. The reason he would scratch or stab someone depends, but you shouldn’t drag his close friends into a situation. He’s rather protective of his friends.42. Zuo has a scar on the left side of his chest. He got it from Iza when he had Iza cornered and well Iza felt trapped and lashed out, a normal reaction from him honestly. Some of his scars came from something dumb he did, like he jumped in without thinking. Such as the scar on his ear, he got slashed by a robber who stolen a woman’s purse and he had to get it back for her. Another scar on his leg. He got shot when he was trying to stop a criminal who was running away from him after they had tried to rob him.43. Okay, so, there is a lot of offensive things Iza has said? I know there was a time he called men “dogs” because all they wanted was sex, but now here he is always wanting sex lol, then he called women something horrible? I think he said to a woman that she is perhaps the most disgusting human being on the face of he earth and that was him being generous.44. Depending on how he is criticized Zuo takes it pretty well, of course if it’s harsh he would get upset, but if it’s constructive he would take it in stride and consideration for next time. If he got upset, he probably would feel discouraged from attempting it again if it’s harsh criticism. 45. Iza likes fruit so he would eat it? But if it’s someone he doesn’t like well, they die then and there LOL. The way he would eat it is to eat the pineapples first and then the pizza itself? I mean, he basically would of made it a cheese pizza, but the thing is I don’t think he even likes pizza all that much because the cheese would make him nauseous So, I guess it depends on if he is in the mood to save someone from certain death. 46. Zuo wouldn’t believe it if it was an actual voodoo doll, and would probably keep it because well, someone gave him a gift so he would think that is was probably a lot of hard work for them to make such a thing, but he would definitely test it out by seeing if he can give himself a back rub lol47. Iza sure can draw! He loves to draw, and I think he draws a lot of metaphorical things? Example would be like, drawing the symbol of being alone? Or what happiness is to him or something like that. He doodles a lot of cats lol48. I explained it in an earlier question but Zuo doesn’t know his father. His mother plays an important role in his life giving Zuo confidence and and self-esteem to accomplish his goals. Without her Zuo would definitely be more towards himself, perhaps expressive in love but he wouldn’t be that way in public or towards anyone else that isn’t his lover. Most times he already appears aloof or eccentric, but that would become even more true if he didn’t have the positive influence of his mother.49. Iza doesn’t get sugar rushes, if anything he doesn’t exactly like sweets all that much but he will eat it and chime in happiness about how good the sweets are because someone probably bought it for him and he likes getting free stuff.50. If Zuo was presented with an unavoidable death, I think he would give his things away and make his days count for sure. He wouldn’t be too terribly surprised if his unavoidable death was shown to him because he knows that eventually every body dies and he isn’t exempt from that. If anything, I think he would turn to buddism for his last few days to become enlightened and hope to be reincarnated again since he does believe in that.

[littlewolfdiaries]

30 Things About Me!

I was tagged by the fandom's only hope and best writer ever @noshittwobit and this gem @an-outsiders-blog y'all totally keep tagging me, nothing better than talking about myself 😉😉

Rules : Answer these 30 questions and tag 30 people

Nickname: I don't even have one like... If you consider "bitch" or "hoe" a nickname.

Name: Amber/Amberleigh

Gender: Female

Star sign: Virgo 💁🏼

Height: 5′4 1/2" (There's no hope).

Time: 1:32 PM, Tuesday (Answered it today because I'm trash at notifs).

Birthday: September 15th.

Favourite band: Probably Cage the Elephant, DOES ODD FUTURE COUNT, The Neighbourhood, The Killers, Alt-J, The Black Keys, Sublime, Weezer, Marcy's Playground (tb), then you have all the 50's-80's ones way before me and they're all magic.

Favorite solo artist: I don't have an exact favorite but if you know anything about me, I've been in love with Lana for a very long time and have seen her multiple times. She's definitely not the best artist out there. None of my choices are alive, honestly.

Song stuck in my head: Thankfully, nothing at the moment.

Last movie i watched: Taxi Driver last night online, young Robert De Niro, murder, psychology, must I say more...

Last show I watched: Forensic Files and there's no shame behind that.

When did i create my blog: I tracked it and it says 20 months ago?? I can't??

What do i post: The Outsiders. I used to post Teen Wolf and other content, so this blog really isn't almost 2 years old in Outsiders content.

Last thing i googled: "Old king that got assasinated in Wales a long time ago" I don't have an explanation for that. There's nothing. Do you have other blogs: A few sideblogs for The Outsiders but I hardly use them.

Do you get asks: I still get them daily but definitely not as many as I used to. I used to get so many. I love answering questions, though, so blow this shit up.

Why did you choose the blog name: This fucking story. So, like I said I didn't used to be Outsiders-oriented so "littlewolfdiaries" is a combination of Pretty Little Liars, Teen Wolf, and The Vampire Diaries. They're all ended now, basically. It's great.

Blogs you are following: my paps @the-outsiders-slut but that's all, when I made my blog I wanted to see if I could it without following other people, to kind of prove it to myself? I don't know?

Blogs following you: I think 2,377 but I haven't checked in forever and I'm too lazy to recopy and paste this so I can check, but yee somewhere in there.

Favourite colours: Kelly green. It's a new thing & I'm letting it happen. Cobalt and red, too. I recently changed my entire wardrobe style so this is really what I'm vibing w.

Average hours of sleep: 8, lower or more than. Lucky numbers: I LIKE 25 TOO! I like 11, 14, 25, and 15. 11 and 25 are the real ones, though. Instruments: These sexy vocal chords, saxophone, a lil piano, recorder1!1!, nah but I wanna learn acoustic guitar.

What am I wearing: Well, shit. I'm sick so I'm wearing this faded tee I got when thrifting and it looks vintage as fuck, I'm living for it. Also black sweatpants but no one cares about black sweatpants.

How many blankets do you sleep with: Like 3. But it always ends up to be 1.

Dream job: Ooh, working for Cosmopolitan in NYC (although I hate it there) or working high-up in the FBI as a psychologist or detective. I think working for NASA would be awesome, too.

Dream trip: Ireland, hands-motherfucking-down. In the states, I'd like to visit New Jersey for whatever reason. I've been there before, though. Or New England because part of me misses it back home.

Favorite food: Pastelitos, Creme Brûlée, chocolate milk, raw coconut or anything with coconut, really good steak (otherwise I hardly eat meat). I'm kind of a mess these are so random.

Nationality: American but from the US. I hate the phrase "America" like, bitch there's multiple and they include other countries??

Favorite song: Nothing will come to my mind right now yikes. A Little Death was playing earlier by the Neighbourhood but that's nowhere's near my favorite song. I mean, I love it and want to eventual fuck someone to that song but yeah I don't know, man.

Tagging the papi @the-outsiders-slut and everyone else I like and wants to do it because I'm too lazy to go through my messages and also check who has or hasn't done it yet. I love y'all tho ilysm there's just too many people who #support me

[romancevsreality-blog]

the bachelorette, season thirteen, episode seven: y’all, i think i invented a cult

WELCOME TO SWITZERLAND.

Rachel’s walking through the European streets, wearing a blazer, feeling herself. I’m very envious. Meanwhile, the four front-runners and Matt and Adam are sitting around in whatever sponsored hotel room ABC got them this time discussing how they’re a week away from hometowns. I get filled with dread because y’all know I think hometowns are the most boring episode of the season, followed by The People Tell All, the most boring reunion episode of all the reunion episodes1. Rachel literally walks in looking like Olivia Pope in an all-white outfit.

I commend anyone for wearing an all-white outfit. Seriously. I wore this to a party a month ago and wound up covered in dirt, red wine, and god-knows what other kinds of fluids.

It was a great fucking night.

She hugs four guys and two complete strangers, and she’s here to switch it up. There’s no rose ceremony - instead, there are three one-on-ones, and a three-on-one, and depending on how those go, some guys will get roses (and we know who) and some guys won’t (Matt and Adam, two guys who just stumbled into the room). She tells Bryan to suit the fuck up because they’re heading out on their one-on-one. All the guys are straight shook because he gets more time with her.

Rachel and Bryan are going on a “high-end date”, which in New York (or pretty much anywhere in the world) usually implies that the girl is getting some kind of monetary compensation for spending her time with a male companion. But no, Rachel’s taking Bryan out in a god damn Bentley. THIS IS WHAT BENTLEYS ARE USED FOR - ridiculous situations of reality television dating shows. You don’t take a Bentley to Kroger for milk, that’s what the Benz is for. They’re going to be driving around Geneva in this car, and for a second I was like, “wait, why is Rachel getting into the right side of the car, don’t they drive on the left in Switzerland?!” and then shots of horrible car accidents ran through my brain. But no, fun fact:

They drive on the right side of the road in some European countries!!!!!!!2 THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION TO ME. And then I realized that in my semester abroad in Prague, they also drove on the right side of the road, and I have confirmation that I am, in fact, a fucking idiot3.

Since they’re in Switzerland, they do as the Swiss do - go and try on expensive-ass watches. Rachel treats them to $8k watches4 - or really, they’re sponsored gifts that they’ll forget to write off on their taxes next year - and Bryan kisses her in front of the watch guy. Bryan is so extra. They then drink champagne and go on a romantic boat ride.

We’re then treated to the most screen time Matt or Adam have gotten all season, and it’s mostly them talking about how jealous they are that the other guys. It’s literally two minutes of them talking because if it went on any longer, it basically becomes a lullaby. Basically, Adam’s jealous and envious and Matt’s like, “Imma relish all the time I get because Rachel pretty much forgot to eliminate me.” Dean, meanwhile, basically calls Bryan old, washed-up, fake, and from Miami. He says Miami in such a manner that you know it’s some shade. Neither he or Peter think that Bryan’s anything more than just a charmer.

Because he is. We get a scene of Bryan and Rachel swooning and smooching with champagne and I gag.

Back at the hotel, there’s a FUCKIN DATE CARD, WHAT

It goes to My New Boyfriend Dean5. He looks at Adam and says, “Don’t shoot me.” Because Adam IS PISSED.

Rachel has changed into a gorgeous white gown and they go to a romantic dinner in Victoria Hall. Rachel’s concerned that Bryan seems to be too good to be true, BECAAAAAUSE HE IS. We learn that Bryan’s last girlfriend didn’t get along with his mother, and that’s the reason that they broke up after going to a wedding in Colombia. She broke up with him because of his mom.

RED

FUCKING

FLAG

FLYING IN THE AIR

BLOWING AWAY IN THE WIND

THIS FLAG IS SO BIG YOU CAN SEE IT FROM SPACE

My very first relationship was with a man who had a very bad relationship with his mother. The man who sexually assaulted me had a tense relationship with his mother. My second relationship had a very close relationship with his mother. My third and fourth? Just right. Perfect amount. Date someone who likes their mother greatly and has great things to say about them but also can speak truthfully about who they are as a person. Date someone who sees their mother as a person, really. Do not date a man who has a bad relationship with their mother, and do not date a man who is far too close with their mother, because those two things will manifest themselves in your relationship in some way. You want someone who likes their mother and remembers her birthday.

If Bryan’s mother is the reason his last girlfriend broke up with him, then RUN AWAY, RACHEL. RUN RUN RUN RUN.

Bryan gets a fucking rose.

Rachel gets to wear the best clothes. Can I get that robin's egg blue trench coat she wears on her date with Dean? The two of them are going to church at a French Catholic mass, which...

WHAT KIND OF DATE IS THIS?

If any guy asked me to go to church on our first date I would ask what cult he was asking me to join, and what their demands on my body would be. If it’s like, grow a million children in your uterus and sell them into sex slavery, no thank you. If it’s like, shave your head and dance in the subway stations, no thank you. If it’s like, smoke weed, talk about pizza, and the idea of skepticism or making a list Hall of Famers for various industries… Okay. I’m on board with that.

Did I just invent a cult?

I get it, I’m one of the rare black people with zero interest in religion, God, or anything having to do with it. It’s not that I don’t believe, it’s just that whether or not it all exists has zero impact on my life. Imma keep doing me even if Jesus comes back and starts a breakdancing troupe. It’s hard not to see the things done in His name and not get disheartened sometimes, you know? I just can’t imagine that the big dude up there would be cool with a lot of shit people are trying to justify because of him. And that’s my issue to deal with myself and no one else. Don't @ me.

But faith is important to Rachel, so it’s nice to see some blatant religion on my television. With Master of None and The Big Sick’s beautiful portrayals of being both Muslim and.. you know, people, I think we need to do some normalization of all religions in pop culture and media. Maybe that’s just me. Rachel needs to find someone who shares the same values - I get it, it’s important to me that my boyfriend doesn’t get upset when I say “men are trash” because it’s not a direct attack on him, I’m just a misandrist - and they seem to have a nice time.

Rachel and Dean talk about how gorgeous it is on a Sunday in Geneva. Apparently, Aspen has a lot of Swiss influence, which is great. Dean is feeling conflicted about his “untraditional” family and how Rachel will take the information. Dean is v. closed off. They sit down to drinks and Rachel literally tries to get Dean to talk about his feelings. Dean’s not having it, though. Rachel wishes their relationship could have more depth.

Back at the hotel,

THERE’S A DATE CARD.

Of course, it goes to Peter.

Of course, Adam is pissed.

Bryan, Dean, and Peter are the front-runners, and Eric, Adam, and Matt are in the bottom of the boat looking for scraps.

Meanwhile, Rachel and Dean go to dinner, and Dean says that the day has been “Weird”. Rachel calls him out for trying to laugh his way out of the issue, and Dean basically admits that he really likes her a LOT a lot. His dad was a Fun Dad instead of being an Emotionally Supportive Dad. His dad is.. “Eccentric”, which frightens me. Has anyone been described as “eccentric” positively? It breaks my heart when he says that he wishes she could meet the family that existed before his mother died instead of the family that “abandoned” him when he was his most vulnerable.

Damn, Dean. Coming in with the hard stuff.

Rachel’s like, “Yo, I got my family, I don’t want yours. We can be our own family.” Rachel’s great. She all but quotes RuPaul when she talks about meeting the people who made him who he is - y’all, your family is who you choose it to be. DNA ain’t shit.

Dean gets a rose.

Peter and Rachel meet in a literal field and it’s glorious. They’re going on a helicopter ride to the Swiss Alps. I love helicopter ride dates because you know the producers couldn’t come up with anything else to do. Sorry, y’all, but Rachel looks at Peter differently than she does anyone else. At one point she rests her head on his shoulder in this way that’s so comfortable and natural I screamed. They go fucking dog SLEDDING, and I wondered when the last time I went sledding was, much like yesterday when I realized it is summer and I have yet to eat a single peach.

Sometimes the world is unjust.

I WANNA GO DOG SLEDDING.6 That is the only thing I would enjoy doing outside in this much snow. I went to school next to a lake. I no longer trust snow. Rachel and Peter sit and talk about his “dark days”, days when he was feeling unsure and wanting to leave. Rachel’s done a great job this season of really taking into mind the guys’ experience on the other end, having experienced it herself - I truly think she may be the first lead on this show to acknowledge doing so - but she’s happy he didn’t leave. Me too. They make out in the snow. Oh, honey, no. Too cold.

At dinner, Rachel asks Peter if he’s dated a black girl before, and he’s like, Nah, I’ve never dated a black WOMAN before and I screamed.

I literally screamed.7

Their relationship seems so real. Like, the fact that he goes, “Do you have any other questions?” after openly and honestly answering the initial ones goes so far and above Dean’s (charming) goofiness that masks his inability to open up to her and Bryan’s cornballishness just says a lot about him as a person, and about their relationship. He promises to be honest with her all the way - yes, it’s weird that you’re expected to propose to someone you barely know, but that’s what you signed up for? - and that honesty frightens Rachel, because she doesn’t want to get to the end and have him still be unsure.

I get it. No one wants to be Juan Pablo’d. No one wants to get to the end and not get a ring. But what’s so bad about being like, “I wanna date you because I see a future here but I’m just not ready, but honey, Imma buy you the biggest ring in like six months,” right? I’m conflicted. I mean, why not just do what Kaitlyn and Shawn are doing and get engaged for the show but really just resume dating for a while after the show? They seem to be in zero rush to get married, ABC contract be damned.

Anyway - Peter gets a rose. It is deserved.

The next day, the remaining guy and Matt and Adam are sitting around, talking about how rough the day will be for them. Eric, who had a one-on-one literally last week, is upset that he didn’t get another one. Has any contestant gotten two one-on-ones in a row? I don’t think so. Sit down, Eric.

Rachel’s outfit for the three-on-one is… ruff. Ruff Stuff. She is somehow both wearing a crop top and a winter coat. What is the weather here? The top is made from sweater material. Hrmmmmmmm. Anyway, they’re getting on a boat to France! They arrive at Chȃteau de Courdrée in Sciez-sur-Léman, France, where they’re going to have a four-way picnic? Adam gives a toast that’s kind of bizarre, but then again, I know nothing about Adam.

Rachel takes Eric aside first, and Eric does the usual “talk at you - tell you what I think you are” thing that Josiah did. Rachel talks about how she needs to be selfish in this but it’s difficult for her, and he’s like, “Well, life is hard.” BITCH SHE KNOWS BUT SHE’S STRUGGLING. I don’t like him. Meanwhile, Matt’s turn with Rachel comes along, and who is this person and why has he not been featured on the show more? He seems to be like a great, noble dude. He talks about how he wants her to be happy, and how it would be great if he could be the source of that, but if he can’t, that’s alright.

Fuck Lee, again, because if it weren’t for Lee’s antics, we would have gotten to know Matt. And Matt seems great. Rachel gets hella emotional when talking to him. Like, more emotional than she got sending Kenny home. She is snot-crying because she sees so much of herself in him and she holds him dearly in her heart and in any different scenario, they’d probably have a chance. She basically tells him she’s sending him home because he’s too normal to fall in love with on reality television, as seen by his non-edit. Matt gets kisses on the lips on his way out, which to me, is the most curious thing. Rachel really does seem crushed. WHERE WAS THIS ALL SEASON?

I WOULD HAVE MUCH PREFERRED TO SEE MATT AND RACHEL’S RELATIONSHIP DEVELOP INSTEAD OF RACISM FOR THREE WEEKS. WHAT IS THIS?

So the final rose comes down to Eric and some other guy we know that isn’t getting the rose. The two men sit down to dinner with Rachel, and Adam takes her aside first. He flat out asks her if he sees a chance for the two of them to fall in love, and she’s like, “well, yeah, I forgot to eliminate you, so….” I literally zoned out during their entire conversation. I really did. I even went back and rewound and zoned out again. They talked about stuff and his family. He talks about how great their relationship is and I’m sincerely like WHO ARE YOU, STRANGER?

Meanwhile, we learn that Eric’s home life wasn’t great - he was raised in a rough neighborhood and dealt with a lot of drugs and prison and all of that. He tries to help people instead of taking care of himself. Eric’s never brought a girl home, which is alarming.

The two guys return to the table we saw before, and Rachel gives Eric the rose. Adam is disappointed, but not surprised. And then he tries to mansplain her decision by being like, “I hope you didn’t make a mistake.” and then she thanks him for being there, which I have said on dates where I knew I was never going to call that dude again. He claims she made a big mistake but, like, dude. How do we know that?!

Anyway, Eric seems shocked, but Rachel tells him it’s an honor to get to go home and meet his family. I love her.

We get a wonderful montage of Rachel talking about how humbled she is by the entire experience and that her hopes are high because... it seems to be working.

Get it, girl.

Next Week: Rachel followed her gut and she’s ready to have something deep with these guys. Next week looks sexy. Dean’s dad literally has a beard and a turban and Dean cries. Peter has walls up with Rachel, and Peter’s mom throws shade. Rachel’s sister doesn’t think Bryan’s sincere.

See you next week!

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

Ever since I pointed out that Matt looks like Mark Brendanawicz I literally can’t see anything else.

FUCK THE PRODUCERS (yet again) for misleading us into thinking Peter made Rachel cry.

My friend Alicia pointed out Rachel’s eyelashes and how phenomenal they are and I can’t unsee. They’re clearly fake but whoever got them on her did the lord’s work.

I was taking notes and looking at the screen and I seriously was like “Why are they showing that pepper? Oh. That’s the rose.”

Peter wins, right? Peter has to win. He’s gonna win. He got the “bump in a road” edit. COME ON.

We got an acknowledge of Copper in the credits, y’all. He’s okay.

Oh my god, that credits scene was my favorite thing. More poop conversations, please. Rachel poops with the door open - she’s just like us!

And I would know. My Official Ranking of Best Reunion Episodes: 1) Real Housewives of New York, Season 3. 2) Real Housewives of Orange County, Season 9 tied with Real Housewives of Orange County, Season 5. 3) RuPaul’s Drag Race, Season 9 4) Real Housewives of DC (there was only one season, a true tragedy.) 5) Real Housewives of Atlanta, Season 6 tied with Season 9, tied with whichever reunion Kim pretended she had cancer for 5 minutes in. All the rest can go in the garbage. ↩︎

Bless the creators of this website. ↩︎

In my defense… I have almost no recollection of my first three days in Prague. Time differences are a bitch when you nap as much as I do. ↩︎

To me, a watch is actually a really intimate gift. Something about the metaphor of time passing, but also because it’s a serious investment. It’s something that’s literally built to last. Any kind of gift given that's tangible and meant to be worn, to me, is like... srs bizness. ↩︎

I have a lot of Boyfriends from this franchise - Alex, Ben Zorn and formerly Wells. Wells and I broke up over his continued association with the biggest misogynist this franchise ever produced - Ashley Iaconetti. Ben Zorn is my Hot Hunky boyfriend because I would like to climb him like the tree he is and he has a cute dog. Dean woke as hell. Dean is my Practical, Savvy, Geeky Boyfriend. Alex is the boyfriend who probably has Russian mob ties and that’ll come in handy because I have a lot of enemies. Also, he lives in my hometown, so it’ll be nice to be able to see my mom more often. ↩︎

Speaking of dogs, where the fuck is Copper. Was Copper not allowed to come abroad?! WHO IS TAKING CARE OF COPPER’S LEG. ↩︎

It says so much about the state of society that I'm freaking out that a grown-man called a woman a woman. ↩︎

[sonzyb]

A little bit of chocolate history, a chocolate festival, the first new chocolate type in 80 years and the world’s best chocolate brownie recipe – all for National Chocolate Week

  In honour of it being national Chocolate Week (did you notice?  It seemed very quiet to me) I thought I would celebrate this with a chocolate inspired post. I was at a chocolate festival earlier in the year, and tried Ruby Chocolate, the 4th variety behind Dark, Milk and White and the first to be launched in 80 years. So I thought this would be a good time to write that up and  I can also come good on my promise to divulge my chocolate brownie recipe while I’m at it.

  However first things first; Close you eyes for a moment and think of a country that  you associate with chocolate. Got one?

Where did your imagination take you? At a guess I’d say Switzerland probably features with quite a few of you, as well it should. Switzerland is as famous for its chocolate as it is for its mountains, watches and army knives.

Anyone think of Belgium? I can’t think of Belgium without thinking of its exquisite chocolate boutiques and also of putting the fear of God into the Lacemakers of Ghent as (aged 11) I explored their shop with a chocolate ice cream in my hand.

  Who thought of Northern Ireland?

  Oi! What do you mean WTF? I’ll have you know good old Northern Ireland is right up there in the history of chocolate and even today has one of the world’s top ten chocolatiers. Surprised? We are full of surprises but let me explain.

  A bite sized chunk of chocolate history

When chocolate was first brought to Europe via Spain, long before the pesky Swiss got their oven mitts on the stuff, it was consumed as a bitter drink made with coco, water and spices. The Natural History Museum (important) in London credits Sir Hans Sloane with the honours of adding milk and sugar, and turning it into something we would recognise as hot chocolate today.

  Who was this genius? Sir Hans Sloane was the royal doctor to 3 Monarchs and the glitterati of 18th Century high society,  He was President of both the Royal Society of Physicians (1719) and The Royal Society (1727) to this day he remains the only person to have held both positions.

Prior to all of this, while he was still making a name for himself, he went on a four year expedition to the Caribbean where its thought he first encountered cacao. Apparently at first he found chocolate nauseating, but found it improved when made with milk. An avid collector all his life, on his death he willed his 71,000 strong collection of curios to the British people and they became the foundation collections of the British Museum, The British Library and… yup, The Natural History Museum.

  In all likelihood, there were probably a few recipes for hot chocolate floating around London in the 1700’s, but importantly Sir Hans wrote his down, and since any others have long since disappeared, it probably comes as no surprise that the Natural History Museum credits their founder as the inventor of milk chocolate. It didn’t hurt that when Cadbury made their first milk chocolate bar, they used Sir Hans Sloane’s recipe, and actually printed this on the label.

the first branded chocolate!

  Brilliant, I hear you cry, but what has this to do with Northern Ireland?

  Im so glad you asked – because good old Hans wasn’t an Englishman. No, the inventor of milk chocolate, bless his soul, was an Ulsterman, he was born in Killyleagh, a sleepy little town in Co. Down overlooking Strangford Lough.

I could tell he was an Ulsterman a country mile away! Not much has changed in a few hundred years

  It’s for this reason that Killyleagh Castle hosts the Sir Hans Sloane Chocolate Festival in it’s grounds.

  The Finnabrogue, Sir Hans Sloane, Chocolate Festival

As mentioned the chocolate festival takes place in Killyleagh Castle,  which overlooks Strangford Lough, and it’s organised by Finnabrogue Artisan Foods.

Killyleagh Castle

Hold the front door!

Some confectionary on show

This year there were a number of exhibitors including chocolatiers, confectioners, Copland Island Gin and a variety of fine food producers. There were also a number of excellent demonstrations, I caught the end of a cocktail session which looked magnificent.

  Of the exhibitors, one of my favourites has to be Co Couture a boutique chocolatier based in Belfast. They have featured heavily in the World top ten chocolate awards over the past number of years, and it’s no wonder, their truffles and the flavour combinations in their mini bars are amazing.  They run masterclasses, and someday I will get to go to one.

One of the other exhibitors, think it was Chocolate Manor, were showcasing Ruby Chocolate, which was something I hadn’t come across before.

hmmm I think he’s looking for Han Solo not Hans Sloane!

Ruby Chocolate

I haven’t decided what to do with these yet

Trialling this was quite exciting. Ruby chocolate was only launched in January 2018 and it’s the first new chocolate to be launched in 80 years behind dark, milk and white chocolate.

There was a lot of speculation behind it to begin with, as the developer Barry Callebaut (a Belgian-Swiss Chocolatier) was quite scant on details, but insisted that the RB1 coco pod used was not genetically modified, nor had any colourings or flavourings been used.

  Ruby chocolate gets its name from it’s deep pink colour. It has a creamy texture akin to white chocolate, but with obvious fruity, acidic notes. I did notice a chocolate flavour but it has been criticised for the lack of this, so it is perhaps still developing.

  As it turns out, the natural colour comes from using chocolate beans that have been fermented for no more than three days, and this also explains why the chocolate flavour is not strong. The best way I could describe it is like you mixed white chocolates with raspberries and a tiny amount of dark chocolate. It’s not unpleasant, but it’s not what I would be reaching for if I needed a chocolate hit.

  Where I think it will come into its own is in decoration, or in combinations with other chocolate types, but I guess time will tell.

  The world’s best brownie recipe*

*According to my sons

Now I know what you are thinking “Thats just what Pinterest needs, a brownie recipe” but this isn’t any old muck, this is the recipe that my eldest son describes as “Godly and Exotic” (I am 100% confident that he has no clue what either of these words mean – but thats his top  complement) meanwhile the youngest want’s me to give up my job to make and sell these full time.

  There is a staggering amount of sugar, so I cut them quite small, and limit them to one a day, but the chocolate junkies demand that we don’t run out, so when the brownie tin gets to two remaining – thats my cue to get the oven on again and make another batch.

I found this recipe on BBC Good Food, and it was developed by Orlando Murrin

I should say that as long as the chocolate is over 70% coco solids it won’t matter what brand you use, but the same can’t be said for coco powder. Dr Oeker contains 100% coco and this vastly improves the taste and texture of the Brownies; Green & Black use potassium carbonate  in theirs (with no loss of quality); Cadbury’s Bournville use Sodium Carbonate and there was a very definite loss of quality in the brownie, it became much drier – you pays your money and takes your choice.

Coco ranked in preference

You will need:

185g unsalted butter

185g best dark chocolate

85g plain flour

40g cocoa powder

50g white chocolate

50g milk chocolate

3 large eggs

275g golden caster sugar

Argh – look at all that sugar!

Cut 185g unsalted butter into small cubes and tip into a medium bowl. Break 185g dark chocolate into small pieces and drop into the bowl.

Fill a small saucepan about a quarter full with hot water, then sit the bowl on top so it rests on the rim of the pan, not touching the water. Put over a low heat until the butter and chocolate have melted, stirring occasionally to mix them.

Remove the bowl from the pan. Alternatively, cover the bowl loosely with cling film and put in the microwave for 2 minutes on High. Leave the melted mixture to cool to room temperature. It will initially look like this, but mix it with a fork till it looks smooth and glossy

Before

  After

While you wait for the chocolate to cool, position a shelf in the middle of your oven and turn the oven on to 180C/ 160C fan/ gas 4.

Using a shallow 20cm square tin, cut out a square of non-stick baking parchment to line the base. Tip 85g plain flour and 40g cocoa powder into a sieve held over a medium bowl. Tap and shake the sieve so they run through together and you get rid of any lumps.

Chop 50g white chocolate and 50g milk chocolate into chunks on a board.

Break 3 large eggs into a large bowl and tip in 275g golden caster sugar. With an electric mixer on maximum speed, whisk the eggs and sugar. They will look thick and creamy, like a milk shake. This can take 3-8 minutes, depending on how powerful your mixer is. You’ll know it’s ready when the mixture becomes really pale and about double its original volume. Another check is to turn off the mixer, lift out the beaters and wiggle them from side to side. If the mixture that runs off the beaters leaves a trail on the surface of the mixture in the bowl for a second or two, you’re there.

Pour the cooled chocolate mixture over the eggy mousse, then gently fold together with a rubber spatula. Plunge the spatula in at one side, take it underneath and bring it up the opposite side and in again at the middle. Continue going under and over in a figure of eight, moving the bowl round after each folding so you can get at it from all sides, until the two mixtures are one and the colour is a mottled dark brown. The idea is to marry them without knocking out the air, so be as gentle and slow as you like.

as you mix the melted chocolate through the eggs & sugar it will look like chocolate marble

Hold the sieve over the bowl of eggy chocolate mixture and resift the cocoa and flour mixture, shaking the sieve from side to side, to cover the top evenly.

Gently fold in this powder using the same figure of eight action as before. The mixture will look dry and dusty at first, and a bit unpromising, but if you keep going very gently and patiently, it will end up looking gungy and fudgy. Stop just before you feel you should, as you don’t want to overdo this mixing.

Finally, stir in the white and milk chocolate chunks until they’re dotted throughout.

Pour the mixture into the prepared tin, scraping every bit out of the bowl with the spatula. Gently ease the mixture into the corners of the tin and paddle the spatula from side to side across the top to level it.

Luckily the recipe is very forgiving of untidy lining

Put in the oven and set your timer for 25 mins. When the buzzer goes, open the oven, pull the shelf out a bit and gently shake the tin. If the brownie wobbles in the middle, it’s not quite done, so slide it back in and bake for another 5 minutes until the top has a shiny, papery crust and the sides are just beginning to come away from the tin. Take out of the oven.

Leave the whole thing in the tin until completely cold, then, if you’re using the brownie tin, lift up the protruding rim slightly and slide the uncut brownie out on its base. If you’re using a normal tin, lift out the brownie with the foil. Cut into quarters, then cut each quarter into four squares and finally into triangles.

Ah, look at that chocolaty goodness! Yum!

They’ll keep in an airtight container for a good two weeks and in the freezer for up to a month.    (No they won’t! Not with chocolate junkies looking for their fix living in the same house!)

    Chocolate Break A little bit of chocolate history, a chocolate festival, the first new chocolate type in 80 years and the world's best chocolate brownie recipe - all for National Chocolate Week…

[billgsoto]

Pesticides found in human breastmilk

Photo credit: Raissa Ruschel

A study has found persistent pesticides in human breastmilk for a high percentage of women.  The researchers examined 40 women in Western Australia during the first year of lactation, and tested for 88 persistent organic pollutants. They found levels of DDE, a breakdown product of DDT, in 87.5 percent of their samples, with an average concentration of 62.8 ± 54.5 ng/g fat.  On a positive note, they did not detect organophosphates, carbamates or pyrethroids, and babies did not experience negative growth outcomes such as lowered weight, length, head circumference and percentage fat mass.  However, noting that several other studies have shown negative associations with pesticide concentrations in maternal milk, the authors recommended that consumers should avoid exposure to pesticides when possible.

from Blog – The Organic Center http://ift.tt/2qXSNn9

from Grow your own http://ift.tt/2rRMIc6