#there’s a lot of philosophy to had in disability and in femininity and in queerness and in being any sort of categorical nd

[girlgerard]

i love pride and prejudice. like most good art, it’s an autistic woman projecting onto all of her autistic women characters she writes about to cope with the fact that she can’t do much but think. darcy is included as one of the women.

[hershelwidget]

hmm.

through it being Pride Month and everything now I've noticed that I accidentally self projected like. Every identity I've ever had in my life onto Several characters of mine.

And I don't just mean "oh at [w] point I was [x] so this character will also be [x] and we're done"

I mean "At [w] point I was [x] and I expressed myself with it like [y] & [z] and I want to remember that feeling of self expression so this character will also be [x] with those same feelings and methods of expressions (occasionally tweaked to fit the actual character)"

So here's some examples of that under the cut :]

Theatre - Identifies as a Woman. Uses He/Him & Play/Plays/Playself pronouns. Lesbian. Aromantic. Non-Binary. (The general idea is that Theatre believes your identity is whatever the fuck you want it to be, which reflects my philosophy) [I consistently flip back around to "butch lesbian" as a default identity and that was one of Theatre's building blocks as a character :) This is especially prominent with plays "true self", Lance, who is More Obviously a Butch Lesbian]

Silon - Identifies as a Man. Uses He/Him & They/Them pronouns. Has Breasts. Looks and Acts Feminine. Asexual. Queer. (Silon's sort of a literal representation of what I looked like and acted like when I was a bit younger and finding myself out) [I used to just think I was bisexual and didn't question further why I was so uncomfortable in skirts {which led to me realizing I was aspec}, but as I got educated and witnessed my siblings find themselves out I got more comfortable in my own skin and realized I just wanted to be Myself]

Rina - Identifies as a Spider. Uses She/Her pronouns. Transgender. Lesbian. (Rina was my first ever transgender character. Even at the young age I was when I first started writing her {twelve} I didn't want her being transgender to be a plot point or a conflict, I just wanted it to be something she was alongside being a spider) [Now as I look back on her existence I think I added her being trans down the line because after my eldest sibling came out I was trying to familiarize myself with the concept the best way I knew how, and in the present day she's been a really helpful reminder that queer people in general come in all different shapes and sizes]

Viktor - Viktor is Viktor. (I don't mean that as a alternative to saying "Non-Binary", that's genuinely Viktor's identity as a person. She doesn't care what pronouns you use for him, it doesn't care what you think is under their dress {purely biologically speaking... don't sexualize Viktor though}, Viktor is Viktor.) [Viktor really emphasizes the "be what you want" philosophy I have, in a way that's more subtle than Theatre ... Yeah, Viktor wears dresses and skirts and has cute pink-fading brown hair and has a high pitched voice and doesn't bat an eye when people call her "daughter" or "miss" or "young lady". It's a one to one visualization of every single thing I did when I was growing up, and even today! I'm not a girl most days anymore, yet on those same days I'll still wear skirts and dresses and if I feel daring, some makeup. Viktor is as close as I've ever gotten to myself as a fictional character]

I have a LOT of other examples but I'm sure you get the point. Honestly I should make like a chart or a spreadsheet... And 3/4 of the examples I've already listed also have disabilities that I have or people close to me have that are major parts of their characters for all of the same reasons, sometimes more. I'm going to do a similar thing for Disability Pride Month.

Anyways... As of writing this section I'm doing exactly as I stated I sometimes do in Viktor's example; I'm wearing a pink skirt, pink eyeshadow, blue striped socks, white shirt... Transgender flag colours, all to symbolize I'm a trans man as of this very moment. How cool is that?

[oh-hush-its-perfect]

do you think there is any significance that alex's colour scheme is green and pink? or do you think rr went "u know what this character needs? to look like a watermelon"

((Prefacing this by saying that I'm giving RR way too much credit here, but you shouldn't take anything an author does for granted— even a serial author who often makes blunders and mistakes.))

A while ago I saw a (pretty unfair) assumption that RR made it green and pink because blue and pink would be too obvious, but that his intention was obviously to reinforce the gender binary by using two distinctly gendered colors for a character with two distinct genders. Of course, they did not phrase it so delicately. No offense to whoever made that post, but I disagree.

Although that may have had to do with it, there's other things to consider. One of them is color symbolism. And oh. OH. I ADORE symbolism— especially flower/plant symbolism (Language of the Flowers and all that jazz), seasonal symbolism (there's a reason that evermore is my second favorite Taylor Swift album), and color symbolism.

GREEN

Let's talk about green first. Green can symbolize a lot of different things, and there are a few that can be applied to Alex's character. The most obvious thing that green often represents is jealousy— hence the expression "green with envy." But envy is not really one of Alex's character traits. Feel free to argue with me if you think that Alex is significantly envious. Just because I couldn't think of substantial textual evidence for it does not mean that there isn't any.

One of the traits that Alex does have is wealth. Green is the color of American currency, and since both RR and Alex are American, it's safe to take an American lens while looking at this color. Alex's socioeconomic background effects her in a big way. I mentioned in a previous post that I think that Alex's fatal flaw is her sense of entitlement. That kind of entitlement is a quality not exclusive to but common among the upper class. However, her distance from her wealthy background enhances the sense of irony in the story, which is a VERY big thing that we NEVER talk about within the fandom.

This is kind of a little thing, but it's worth noting that when it comes to Valhalla and everything, Alex is "green"— as in new and inexperienced.

The color green also emphasizes Alex's connection with nature. This is one of the parts of Alex's character that the fandom consistently underplays, which is an absolute shame. I don't think I have to explain why the color green is associated with all things natural. Alex's association with nature provides a few key things to her character:

It makes her a more well-rounded character. Another criticism of Alex I believe is totally unfounded is that "being genderfluid is her only personality trait because it influences her philosophy on pottery, which is her only hobby." I'm probably going to make another post in, like, a few minutes about why I find that argument a little silly, but the primary problem is that pottery is not Alex's only hobby. She also loves camping, hiking, and ice wall climbing (I bet y'all forgot about that last one!)

It gives her a connection with Magnus. I mentioned in a previous post that Magnus and Alex are foils, but I neglected to bring up why that also makes for very good chemistry between them. Of course, yes, they have different goals and philosophy, which is what makes them foils in the first place. But foil relationships function best when the characters also share some traits. As it turns out, Alex and Magnus share several hobbies, and one of them is a mutual love for nature. This is a very unexplored thing in fics. Start doing it more plz.

Finally, and this one's kind of minor, but the Alex's green gives her a connection to Natalie. I know, whenever Alex and Natalie are compared, either in canon or in fandom, everybody kind goes "eww. Oedipus complex." Which is very fair and true. But they really do have a lot of similarites. The green of Alex's hair and clothes connects her to the green of Natalie's eyes. It's worth saying, too, that Alex has one amber eye— and amber is pretty close to dirty blonde, like Natalie's hair.

If I had more faith in RR, I might bring up the concept of intextuality and how Alex wearing green is an allusion to The Great Gatsby and how Alex is elusive to Magnus, just like Daisy is to Gatsby. But I don't.

PINK

To give credit to the person who wrote the post I mentioned at the beginning of this spiel, I do believe that part of the reason pink was used was to support femininity. Please keep in mind that Alex dresses in an androgynous way— not that there is an actually "gendered" way to dress, since gender as we perceive it is mostly made up. But Alex's existence as a transfemme person (which I will maintain until my dying day) means that pink has a certain significance to her. A lot of AMAB people embrace traditionally feminine things because if they don't, they will not be accepted as genuine women or genuine nonbinary folks, since masculine dress is unisex and kind of the default. So Alex wearing pink probably had something to do with her gender, yes. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, and it's certainly not an unrealistic thing.

Speaking of Alex's gender in relation to the color pink, let's talk about pink's use as a queer rights symbol. Alex was RR's first character to be introduced as a queer character from the start. This was not an insignificant thing, especially in the year of our Lord 2016 (which, despite popular belief, seriously had an entirely different landscape of queer rep. Though it's commonplace now to include genderqueer characters, it was exceptional at the time— especially by such an accomplished and mainstream children's author.).

Let's go back in time to Nazi Germany. Some of you might know this, but for those of you don't this transition must seem jarring. I swear there's a point. In addition to Jews, Romani individuals, people with disabilities, and Poles (among others), gay men were victimized by the Nazis. If you're wondering why lesbians weren't persecuted, it's because the Nazis didn't see them as a serious political threat, or as a threat to the perpetuation of the Aryan race since they assumed gay women could be forcefully impregnated if need be. Yeah, ew. Anyway, much like the Star of David being used to mark Jewish people, gay men were forced into concentration camps and forced to wear a pink triangle. Years later, after the gay population somewhat recovered, the pink triangle was reclaimed and used as a symbol for gay men. Some people who were not gay men used it, too, but that's somewhat controversial since it wasn't their symbol to reclaim. When the first pride flag was created, it had a pink stripe at the top to signify sex (this was later dropped so flags could be more easily produced). The pink triangle (inverted) was used during the AIDs epidemic with the caption "Silence=Death."

My point is that this is a very important color to queer folks. Having one of the first genderfluid characters in kid's lit wear pink...... I mean, it makes sense.

The last and final thing that pink represents, in this context and in general, is innocence. Granted, this kind of connects to feminitity since women (especially white women) are often infantalized and seen as innocent— which is another issue. In any case, the use of pink to represent innocence in Alex's dress is ironic. Alex has been robbed of her childhood innocence, first by her abusive parents, then by her life on the streets, and then by her eventual death at age sixteen. But then she actually regains her innocence. At the beginning of the—

Hold on. I just had a revelation. I'll make a post about it soon.

At the beginning of SotD, Alex is acting a little childish. The most obvious example is him jumping on Randolph's bed to "make noise." Alex's life is stable and relatively healthy for the first time in the years, and she experiences something that a lot of queer folks experience: a re-emergence of childhood at a late stage.

I imagine you didn't expect a post this long. I either make essay responses to asks or I add on one sentence and post it. Oops. Anyway, I believe the mcga fandom can be more creative than calling Alex a watermelon. Here are some other (kinda romantic) pink-and-green alternatives:

Roses

Dragonfruit

Grapefruit

Cherry blossom trees

[sophygurl]

Woot! Tagged by my new we-finished-a-series-at-the-same-time-and-desperately-need-to-talk-about-it book buddy @blackandwhitemotley​! (I seem to collect these - hi @wingedsaboteur​)

1) Name/Nickname: Rosemary is my name. Soph or sophy tends to be a nickname to anyone who met me on the internets first for obvious reasons. I will accept the shortening of my name - Rose - only if I can tell by the way you said it that you know the full name is Rosemary (I can tell okay). I only accept Rosie if my inner child is out because that’s HER name though I accept Rosy , from one friend who asked permission a long time ago (hey @ladynorbert​). I let any and all kids call me me Aunt Rose, not just my nieces and nephew (who is too young yet to call me anything), and my oldest niece still loves to call me by her baby name for me - AuRoo. This was probably a longer thesis on names than the question is meant to be, but that’s me!

2) Gender: Cis genderqueer woman is the best descriptor for my gender and sex. 

3) Star sign: Leo - rawr.

4) Height: 5′3′‘ - just short enough to have short people problems but not quite short enough to be seen as short.

5) Hogwarts House: I’ve had long conversations about this with one of my closest friends @c-l-ford, and we really can’t come up with a true consensus. I think I’m a combo of all four, but I realize that’s a cop-out. 

6) Favourite animal: Felines of any sort, though I’m an all around animal lover (bugs don’t count).

7) Hours of sleep: 8-12, though closer to 8 these days since the Lyrica is helping me to sleep more normally.

8) Dogs or Cats: Cats obvi, but I do love dogs. 

9) Number of blankets: Like, I know this is asking the number of blankets you sleep with on your bed, but the phrasing makes me wanna go around and count all the blankets I own. But okay - I sleep with a light blanket during warmer months, and throw a big comforter over the top during the colder ones. 

10) Dream trip: I’d love to take a cruise through the Mediterranean, taking stops in Sicily, Italy, Greece, Egypt, Turkey, Israel, Morocco, etc. 

11) Dream job: At this point, I’d really just love to be working again in any capacity. I miss it so much. I miss feeling like I had a purpose, and knowing I was doing a good job, and working harder the next day, and thinking about getting promoted, and just generally - yea - being my workaholic self. Which makes being too disabled to work for over 15 years now kind of a bummer. 

12) Time: 1:12 pm

13) Birthday: July 29

14) Favourite Bands: I’m never up on new music, so I’m gonna go with some of my classic faves here - Areosmith, Cheap Trick, The Doors, The Indigo Girls, Journey, The Monkees, R.E.M., Queen

15) Favourite Solo Artists: Ani DiFranco, Blondie, Dar Williams, Janis Joplin, Joan Jett, k.d. lang, P!nk, Tori Amos (and yes I added an s to make this one plural too, no fair asking for multiple bands but only one solo artist)

16) Song Stuck In My Head: Lady, by Styx

17) Last Movie I watched: Hidden Figures, though my stupid body fell asleep at the last third or so of the movie, so I’m gonna have to re-watch. (When I woke up, I turned to my friend and said “I missed the ending, did they ever make it to the moon?”)

18) Last Show I Watched: Madam Secretary (I’m a few eps behind though)

19) When Did I Create My Blog: I wanna say about four years ago??

20) What Do I Post/Reblog: So many. I’m a huge TV nerd, so lots of reblogs of gifsets and meta (and sometimes my own meta or short opinion bit) about lots of shows both past and present. I also dig me a lot of books and some movies, so those show up. Intersectional feminism is a big deal to me, so I signal boost a lot of stuff along those lines. I love memes, puns, cute animal pics, gender queering, and pretty shiny things. I might occasionally post personal stuff. I’m chronically ill and that affects my life to a large degree, so I’m likely to reblog stuff about that if it shows up on my dash. Around May - June, I’m likely to be posting about WisCon, my local feminist SFF con that happens Memorial Weekend each year. And in a couple of days here it’ll be November 1st which is when I let my Christmas nerd out to play, so there’ll be a lot of that then too. 

21) Last Thing I Googled: haha, it was actually the song Lady by Styx because I couldn’t remember who sang it, and because once I realized it was in my head, I wanted to listen to it.

22) Other Blogs: No other tumblrs, though I do (very) occasionally post on my Dreamwidth account - same name as this tumblr. 

23) Do I Get Asks: Not very often, though I love it when I do! I adore interacting with folks, so come at me.

24) Why I Chose My URL: sophy from sophia, the feminine divine aspect of god, and also just wisdom/knowledge in general (I was studying philosophy and religious studies when I came up with the sophygurl handle the first time). Then I added -gurl at the end because it was less likely to conflict with other ppl who wanted to combine sophy and girl together to make a name. lol

25) Following: 267 (this is why I can never catch up even on a good day)

26) Followers: 582 - can that be right? Do I have those reversed? I guess a lot of those are spam accounts. 

27) Lucky Number: 5

28) Favourite instrument: Drums of all kinds.

29) What Am I Wearing: lol a silky nightgown paired with an old comfy sweatshirt over the top and comfy pj pants underneath, and warm socks.

30) Favourite Food: Dark chocolate, broccoli, potatoes, and my family’s recipe spaghetti sauce - which I’m gonna make in a few days for the first time in ages woo!

31) Nationality: USian. 

32) Favourite Song: Imagine, by John Lennon. 

33) Last Book Read: The Root by Na’amen Gobert Tilahun 

34) Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Join: Oh geeze, most of my fave universes to read about/watch are not ones I’d want to personally be involved in, so let me think. Maybe the world in Practical Magic, Starhawk’s The Fifth Sacred Thing but only if I could be part of the Bay Area world and not the LA one, Realm of the Elderlings - preferably in the Rain Wilds over other areas.

Tagging: other than the one who tagged me - if you got tagged in the body of this post for other reasons, consider yourselves tagged to do this! Otherwise - tagging anyone who wants to. Make sure you tag me so I’ll see it when you do it tho! :)