#there were so many details during this ep that made me scream

[thelargetomato]

I couldn't believe Alice would call Norris a "whiny little toad" until I saw that Alex wrote this episode and it all made sense

[mikanotes]

happy sweet home season 2 release everyone!!! i just watched the final ep and started screaming. here’s something quick! greetings from, lee eunhyuk x gn!reader, warning sweet home season 2 spoilers possibly ooc eunhyuk im trying to decide how different he shld be, mentions of scars. cheers

“Took you long enough.”

Eunhyuk scoffs silently, hands buttoning up a white shirt over his figure. Unharmed. Clean. Possibly unstoppable, now. His gaze is on his own reflection but his focus is on you, sitting nearby with your back towards him.

“Mm.” he hums, a small smile pulling at his lips. “Did you miss me?” he asks, something like a teasing tone to his voice.

You turn to look at him through the mirror and he raises his eyebrows. You roll your eyes and turn back. “No.”

Eunhyuk smirks a little at that. He tugs at his collar to make sure his shirt looks fine, out of habit, then heaves a deep sigh and turns around. He walks over to the couch you’re sitting on and sits at your side, eyes on the book in your hands.

“Is that why you kept things for me?”

Clothes. A pair of glasses. Books he used to read during your time at Green Home.

“Who said they were for you?”

Eunhyuk is dead. Anyone from Green Home would have agreed with this statement. This fact. But you refused to believe it. Parting ways with the rest of the survivors you knew (as well as the only other person who shared your feelings on this matter), avoiding the military and living in isolation, you had decided to try and make living bearable. Settling in an old apartment in a small building near the river. With enough practice from before, you had traps settled around the place and at least one or two weapons.

You used to stay at the shelter at the stadium, but hated all about it. It was much too many people and too much change all at once. No matter how organized it was, you couldn’t find it in yourself to stay. So you left, and made your own home.

Maybe it was luck that you came back to check on Green Home a day after Eunhyuk came back.

(Maybe it was meant to be.)

“How long have you been living here?” he asks quietly. He watches your eyes scan the page on your book, watches the twitch of your lips when you hum in thought, watches every detail that he missed during this time. Time passes weirdly in the state he was in, and a lot changes. A lot doesn’t. Like feelings. “I missed you.”

You turn to look at him and he tilts his head. His expression is serious and his voice is as steady as it always is.

“Thank god, you survived.”

You stare at him for a while, silent, before looking away. “You didn’t even give me time to answer.” you sigh. “It’s been ten months here. I spent two at a shelter before I got sick of it.”

“Was it bad?”

“Terrible.” you say, “I’m sorry I left Eunyu there. She can handle herself well enough, though.”

Eunhyuk sighs at that. That’s a whole other problem. At least she’s alright. “I’ll find her eventually.” he nods to himself, gaze on the floor. “I have a lot of people to find, anyways.”

“You’re so strange.” you comment, suddenly closing your book and shifting your whole attention to him. Eunhyuk does the same in turn, gaze focused on yours.

“As in?”

“You’ve changed.”

Eunhyuk blinks slowly, before narrowing his eyes. You’re not wrong. But not right either.

“You too.”

You reach your hand to his face and hold the side of it gently. He tilts his head slightly into your palm, not breaking eye contact. It was worth waiting, even if just to see you again. Your eyes are colder and your skin gained a few more scars. He’s mildly annoyed he couldn’t keep away anything that hurt you, though he knows it simply wasn’t possible. He could direct his anger towards the other people that were with you.

But humans are just so… weak. How could anyone ever count on them?

“In any case, you don’t have to worry anymore.” he says, sounding almost cold. “Not even a little bit.”

He’s here, now, and he intends to make sure you won’t have to change more than you already have because of this hellish world.

[life-rewritten]

ITSAY EP 4- SELF-SABOTAGE, HINDERANCES, AND REVERSE HELPS

Warning a painful post coming. I cried so much while analysing this. A lot happened on episode 4 of ITSAY, and I've spent days trying to process. First of all, with that episode my weary heart grows hopeful for a happy ending, even if it is bittersweet, I can't see what else they could possibly do after breaking my heart into pieces. So yes I don't see deaths coming, I don't even see running away from feelings coming anymore, I feel like episode 4 fulfilled all the foreshadowing clues left, and there's nothing left now except but to wait and see the results of the exams. To fully understand the episode and relieve that whole heartbreak again, let's analyse the theme this time and this time let's look deeply at Tehs: Self-loss, regression and sabotage because of the overwhelming consequences of feelings. 

THE CONSEQUENCES OF MISTRANSLATION OF THE HEART

For me, this episode was like a cut that refused to heal. It's easy to predict most of the events that occur in this episode: Teh freaking out about his sexuality, trying to distance himself from Oh, Oh getting hurt becoming resentful, Oh becoming even more hurt when Teh finally tries to call what they have off, both become lost and confused and defeated, Teh gives up all he has for Oh, Oh rejects it and they return back to their rivalry/ their relationship regresses.

 Remember in my previous post (here) I said that Episode 1 was going to be mirrored in Episode 5, that there were so many full circle moments they could return to. Well, I think Episode 1 started to be reflected in Episode 4 with our characters: Oh and Teh have repeated a cycle again of resentment, rivalry and regression (will discuss this in my next post). They've returned back to their old state as rivals no longer friends, no longer lovers, no longer intimate. 

And it's not like Teh wanted this to happen. Teh is so lost when he's without Oh, remember he's addicted and obsessed with Oh, Oh is like the only thing that keeps him grounded and not restless. The fear of losing Oh is something that Teh can't control, it causes him to act out, to lose his mind and it causes him to try and try and try every single time to ensure it doesn't happen. But Teh forgot who Oh was, and I also did. We all screamed from the top of our lungs that Teh would give up his place for Oh but we just forgot about a specific part of that equation: Oh's reaction. I thought it'd be easy; Oh will realise too late what had occurred and Teh would have left by then and he'd run to the sunset and keep waiting for Teh, but nooo I forgot about how Resentful, Prideful and Angry Oh gets whenever he gets hurt by Teh  (shown in episode 1). But before we go into Ohs state this episode, Let's look more at Teh in detail, try and understand him more in this episode when looking at our theme.

TEH: Reverse-Help and Self-Hindrance

Again our Chinese translation lessons become a tool for foreshadowing in this episode. From the beginning of the episode as we see Teh create the tutorial guide, and try and tutor Oh, we get foreshadowing titles/translations such as the word for Reverse Help and it's further emphasised with another translation the word for being a hindrance because of trying to help. As Teh goes through his devastating, and uncontrollable self regression, he tries to go into overdrive. First, he tries to keep his promise to the two people he's torn about; 

For Tarn, he tries to retain his position as someone who loves her for 3 years, as someone who still wants what they have, as someone who is still the same .

For Oh he tries to keep the promise he made to him in episode 1 that he'd help him fulfil his dreams by tutoring.  

Tutoring Chinese Translations Whilst Mistranslating Feelings

Tutoring Oh has always been his way of trying to make things make sense, for example when Oh told him he couldn't return back to their closeness as best friends in episode 1, Teh decides to show him that he will keep working on their friendship and proceeds to help him pass the exams by tutoring. Tutoring Oh becomes an excuse for Teh with everything, to get closer to him when he doesn't want to think, to avoid underlying issues whenever things seem hectic, and to spend as much time as he can to be near Oh without having to face the implications of it. Tutoring Oh is to make Oh learn how to translate Chinese so he can pass the exam to get to the University. 

However, tutoring Oh being Teh's priority shows what he truly wants as his goals: to always be near Oh no matter what, to grow with Oh (for both of them to go the University together and fulfil their dreams) and to repay Oh for the time he hurt him when they were kids/enemies (insulting his dreams and making him self doubt). Teh puts the tutoring as a priority because he puts Oh as his number one, Ohs dreams are important to him, and that's all that matters even if things feel too much to handle. This is already why you see what happens to Teh during this episode, he starts to hyperfocus on that priority as he tries to avoid and avoid what is truly going and instead of helping all he does is make it worse: 

Here are instances in episode 4 where Teh's over helping does nothing but make things worse for him and for the people he cares about; 

TEHS REVERSE HELP TO OH

As mentioned, we have the tutoring. The whole obsession with Ohs dreams become more of an obstacle to Oh, who feels frustrated at Teh, who isn't understanding how he feels. Teh and Oh crossed the line and become more than friends after episode 3, but Teh tried to run away from Oh and then tried to pretend everything was okay. For Oh, Teh hyperfocused on the tutoring (ironic since again he's focusing only on Oh) but he was breaking and causing him to question everything because of his avoidance of the issue. 

Both Oh and Tarn had no clue where they stood with Teh, and he didn't know how to tell them how he felt, because he himself didn't know. Remember the tutoring is all about translation and as I said before the show is all about the consequences of mistranslating feelings when young. When we are young, we don't understand how strong feelings can be, how painful, how confusing (if its someone you can't be with in your perspective) or how uncontrollable. Like Teh instead of trying to listen to the heart, we revert to logic to try and explain feelings and typically that leaves us with nothing but confusion and exhaustion. The more Teh kept running away and avoiding the subject, the more he was affecting both Oh and Tarn: 

Tarn: Because she needed to study, she made it her priority that her aspirations mattered to her that's why she held of their relationship for 3 years despite liking Teh, her aspirations were more important. But now Teh was making her revert to someone who couldn't stop thinking about their attraction to each other; the more Teh led her on, the more her feelings were becoming a  hindrance to her aspirations( trying to help but being a hindrance). But again Ironic because Teh was trying to help her too, he was trying to 'do right' by her by not changing what they have, he was trying to stay by her side even though he was no longer there in the present for her. 

Oh: Because he was starting to realise that just like Teh everything revolved around him, he was beginning to become hurt, self-hating and resentful towards everyone and Teh. He was beginning to lose the zeal to keep on struggling for his exams (Teh revived his hope thus without Teh everything was beginning to seem useless), and he was starting to feel broken-hearted each time Teh avoided the situation.  Oh was realising his dependency on Teh but it frightened him because it could be gone, it could all go wrong, and Teh still had Tarn.  He was starting to be exhausted with everything because when he tried to keep his promise (to keep them a secret), Teh refused to treat it like that, Teh kept on pulling his hopes up and then destroying them, and he became tired of it. 

: The tutorial guide

This brings us to the tutorial guide. Damn, the way my heart screamed for Teh during this. One because as his mother put it, Teh spent nights, days recreating a tutorial guide with 1000 words for Oh to learn for the exam. By tearing out parts of his own revision guides, he used it to create a version that was understandable/ easy to understand. This is clearly a metaphor for what he was doing again with his over helping by tearing/ giving out parts of himself to create different versions of himself for the people he cared about, so it was easy for them to deal with his change. 

The guide was beautiful; you could see the care, the effort, the time he put into it because Tehs priority as mentioned was Oh, Ohs dream and Oh being near him. The guide represented what Teh was trying to do all episode, to make everything easy, pleasing and understanding for everyone.  Teh went into overdrive with the tutorial guide because it was the only thing he could do to again avoid and run away from what was going on, on the surface. 

Now at first, this tutorial guide seems helpful just like Tehs intentions, and it brings Oh back to him. Oh forgives him and they reunite, even proceeding to continue their relationship like before, talking, returning to their beach and doing what they wanted with each other. Except we see later at the end of the episode, all Tehs hard work was for nothing. Oh was resentful because Teh brought his hopes up once again, but refused to deal with the situation again. The tutorial guide instead of being a helping guide to Oh became a waste, it led to Oh even retreating and avoiding to study for the exam because he was heartbroken. Oh did not use the tutorial guide and did not show up for the exam. 

Meanwhile, Teh realises how much he gave to Oh that was wasted and couldn't be retrieved, for example, he later discovers he has to study for the exam only to see empty tatters of his previous revision guide (himself), he'd given everything to Oh, and it was wasted. 

Tehs acting position

This is why Teh giving up his place for Oh with the application is just so sensitive. It's romantic how much Oh is Teh's priority. From episode 1, we've gotten a repetition that getting past this application was Tehs vision, everything he wanted since he was a child. Again we see the evolution of all this; he spent so many years studying, practising, preparing for his acting dreams. His mum did all she could to show him how proud she was of him, his brother worked hard to save money to provide plane tickets and cash for his university dream. Everyone put effort into helping Teh and pushing Teh to his goal. And it's heartwrenching to see him give it all up. 

Us romanticists squealed and hoped that Oh would understand, that this was the first steps for our two to return back together. There's still the exam, we thought, Teh and Oh will reunite, they'll be together, in University, we'll run to the sunset together and scream after that is done except, instead of Oh to see it as a gift, he calls Teh out, he's insulted, he's annoyed, and he's frustrated. He's not going to accept it, he's going to relinquish it. 

Again all Teh did was a waste. And it's worse because this was the final thing he could give up for Oh to be near him, it was the last thing he could give of himself in an attempt to make things go back to normal, the final thing he could do to have Oh forgive him. And by the end, Teh is truly mentally, psychologically, and physically exhausted and gone. There's no more to give, no more to help, he lost it all, and he still couldn't figure out why. 

In an attempt to help everyone, to revert everything to normal Teh is the person who's the most broken and lost. It's to Oh on the surface with his actions, but  he's also trying to help/ impress everyone else as well:

His family: 

His mum who has made it a thing of how helpful Tehs brother has been in her life. Their father isn't here, and Tehs mum is someone who relies on her sons' dreams and actions to provide a sense of success in her life. For Teh he couldn't live up to his brother, but once he told his mother about his dreams about being an actor she rejoiced and boasted to all her friends about it; she was proud, immensely excited and driven to push him to his dreams. 

So when Teh realises that his mum will also be proud that he had a girlfriend like his brother, another form of success, he regresses back to this thoughts, he still needed Tarn to impress his mother, he was reminded of his previous goals, to impress her and be seen as equal to his brother. So he tries to keep what he and Tarn had as normal to keep making everyone around him 'happy', and 'impressed' except it led to Oh hurt. 

It's like a sad game of choices; if he chooses Oh, everyone else he's trying to impress falls apart; for example, the revelation when he decided to give up on the acting application, it wasn't just him affected, everyone had put their hopes and excitement on it, and he ended up losing their praise and support. 

In fact, he came face to face with the thing he was trying to avoid, his mother proceeds to harshly compare him with his brother (I thought she was so out of line for this) and she finally shows him that all his fears and notions on this were real. His mum had been seeing him as a failure compared to his brother it just sucked. 

If he chose them, he lost Oh again he saw that happen when he tries to revert all he had with Oh back to normal, he broke Ohs self-esteem and made Oh go into self-hate and despair. He, on the other hand, was also just as broken, confused and defeated. 

In the end, the sick game of choices, as he tried to impress everyone Teh became a shell of nothing, no support, no praise, no love (both losing Tarn and Oh) and no aims (losing his path to his dreams and his confidence). 

Self-sabotage, hindrance, and regression

So you see Teh becomes a mess because of his failure to translate his feelings correctly. The obstacles to him being able to do so causes him to try and do so in a logical way; trying to split his self and please everyone. He becomes self-sabotaging, and as Tarn tells him he only ends up hurting himself, losing everything he tried to hold on to, and he also ends up becoming a regressed version of himself with nothing to lean on (in his perspective).

 It hurts because these are the results of Internalised homophobia, the results of a society that has made people like Oh and Teh feel like they have to hide and hate who they are at a young age,  the effects of immaturity and young age; not able to understand or deal with feelings, not being able to know what they mean or able to control how we act when it comes. 

It's all consequences of falling in love so young. And as much as falling in love is worth it when you meet the one, it sucks that some LGBTQ+ have to go through obstacles and hindrances and more pain just to understand or get to the person they are meant to be with. It sucks. Thank you to ITSAY for teaching us all about this, for showing us this, for making us realise all this. 

In a way we all can end up like Teh's cut out revision guide, if we don't have enough self-love, confidence, or trust in our feelings, we can end up tearing parts of our selves, losing our selves, dreams and perceptions because of mistranslating who we are/what we want. Luckily this is all to do with age, it's okay to make mistakes and learn from it, this will now push Teh to understand and accept himself for whatever he is, and what he feels, this will open his eyes to seeing he has people by his side who won't let him fall (Hoon, and hopefully Oh) and this will make him stronger, confident and braver. And finally, hopefully, it will lead him once again to the person he loves, and they'd be able to run to the sunset together and scream that they made it. One can only hope. 

PREVIOUS ANALYSIS: PROMISES, SUNSETS AND MALE PROTAGONISTS

PREVIOUS ANALYSIS; XIN THE FOCUS OF THE HEART

[chidoroki]

In Defense of TPN S2

Okay, so before y’all start throwing your salt shakers at me, let me explain. Yes, I’m just as upset and annoyed with how the second season decided to cut out so much content that us manga readers were finally hoping to see: no Yuugo, Goldy Pond arc or GP Resistance, Lucas or Glory Bell escapees, Adam, poachers, or Cuvitidala Search. Since this season also (sort of) reached the 2047 time skip, we were also denied of the Paradise Hideout, Jin, Hayato, Ayshe, the Seven Walls & Imperial Capital Battle arcs and Alex due to the anime’s so-called “original story” idea. While some manga events still took place (B06-32 getting blown up, the trio’s reunion, Norman’s time at Lambda, the cursed blood and the Grace Field raid), they were all significantly changed and barely held the same emotional impact, as we see very little to no build up to these moments. Several volumes were skipped completely and despite others being touched lightly, we unfortunately missed out on major character development for everyone, most notably for Emma, but also the lighter side of things such as chef Ray, medic Anna, Rossi learning morse code, Minerva!Norman, etc. There’s honestly so much of the main story to talk about and I totally understand why we’re all so ticked off, especially since that darn slideshow did absolutely nothing to calm our hearts at the end of ep11.

However.. I’m not gonna stand by and say this season was worthless. Highly disappointing given everything I just mentioned of course, I get it, so don’t curse me out just yet. People can trash talk it all they want and I’ll sympathize 110%, but I personally won’t do so. I love this series too much and that’s a huge reason as to why I didn’t drop this season. Usually whenever I start a new series, it’s because I become interested in a character or two. I find that no matter what happens in that series, whether the story intrigues me or not, I’ll continue it if only to see more of that character. If the story is good, it’s just another plus for me to stay addicted, so while this season totally missed their chance to adapt the wonderful source material of my favorite series, I stayed to watch Emma, Ray and all the other children I’ve grown to love over the past two years. Another reason why I stayed on this train wreck was because of how thought provoking it became as turned into yet another guessing game for me. After first watching the OP and even more after ep3 aired, I kept wondering what would they include or leave out. How would they handle this scene if this and that were already changed? How would they fix this problem if so and so isn’t here? It felt like I was watching season one blind all over again; seeing all these little clues sprinkled everywhere and yet not having any idea on how the story was going to continue or end got me excited. That’s why I came to love this story in the first place, so having the chance to feel that again alongside characters I love so dearly.. it was fun for me (until the slideshow punched me in the face). While many people will look at this season and declare the manga and first season are both superior (which they are, I agree), I’m still sitting over here like “oh look, more content!”

With all that nonsense out of the way, I thought I would go ahead and ramble about everything I believe the second season did well enough, because if I can take any heat off this adaptation then you’re damn right I’m gonna try. So if you’re wondering why on earth a manga reader even mildly enjoyed this season, it’s honestly just the little things such as a decently adapted or improved panel/scene, any new, interesting elements the anime may have included, or other personal favorite moments of mine.. which there were a lot of.

So no negativity past here kiddos, we’re gonna be as optimistic and lively as an orange antenna.

(mild manga spoiler warning, I guess? but I’m sure it’s nothing y’all haven’t heard us readers mention/complain about already)

- If you’ve read any of my reactions to this season, you would know how much love I have for “Identity.” Not only is the song still an absolute banger, but the opening sequence itself is fantastic. From the contrast between human vs demon, the cameos, the symbolism, the match cuts, the build up to the chorus.. just everything. I could talk about it endlessly and watch it several times over and still be impressed.

- Lani’s stupid fall.

- How clearly it shows Emma’s condition becoming progressively worse.

- Her scream.

- Ray’s apology, especially how soft his voice was when saying “sorry, Emma,” and the smile he gives after she tells him not to worry about it.

- And his entire promise to keep everyone in their family safe. Oh I was so happy to finally hear him say that.

- This exchange between Don and Gilda.

- Rossi and those darn faces he gives us. This boy is such a mood.

- How involved the younger kids were so they don’t feel like they were just.. there, which served as a reminder that everyone from Grace Field is smart, not just Emma and Ray.

- How pretty the demon forest looked at night when all those odd creatures started glowing (even those darn goowee).

- So happy with how this panel was adapted. That smirk of his is everything.

- The fact they remembered a small detail such as the bell.

- Knowing now that they cut so much out of the manga, I’m glad we at least got the hug.

- The ending sequence gave us a small look at Sonja and Mujika’s travels by themselves. “Magic” is also so very calming to listen to.

- How the children hug both Emma and Ray, as manga only had our girl receiving the hugs.

- Sonju & Mujika’s voice actors fit them perfectly.

- How impressed Ray was when he first tried their cooking. No wonder he was so eager to learn how to cook.

- Sonju’s story about the demon world from ch46-47 practically adapted word for word.

- While the manga also shows us how frighted the duo is upon learning they’re living in the worst case scenario, it’s seeing them and their hands physically shake that help push this scene a little bit more (not that you can tell this by a still frame but trust me).

- Their synchronized smirks and how well their excitement was not only animated but how genuine and real it sounds too. Emma’s laugh and the fact they made Ray of all people sound hopeful is fantastic.

- They kept the small Ray from this panel and made him better.

- I just love seeing him be optimistic.

- The entire scene when Emma & Ray are both scolded by the younger kids for acting so recklessly is perfect.

- They kept this tiny comment of Nat’s.

- Finally getting chef Ray and hearing how confident he is with his cooking skills already.

- Seeing other children like Dominic pick up archery and be surprisingly good at it.

- Anime pushed Emma’s quick learning ability further with archery by showing us how easily she could land a bullseye even after hitting something midair.

- How well they animated Emma’s first kill, from following the arrow as she pulls it back to when she releases it as it flies towards the bird’s eye.

- The fact that this scene and the next both used a water droplet to symbolize death just like we saw during season one with Conny and Norman’s shipments are so satisfying.

- The gupna scene and how well it emphasized Emma’s reaction to taking a life and how upset/bothered she was in doing so. The addition of a butterfly helps as well, as it’s another way this series tends to convey the idea of death. (you remember how many the OP had, right? tons.)

- I only just noticed that Ray is seen looking at a similar butterfly in the following scene as well.

- The anime doing this panel justice. Ep2 is probably the episode that follows the manga the closest and did real well in regards to that.

- Ray beating Sonju at chess.

- Chris knowing exactly which way to go without using the compass, which makes sense as he was seen mapping out the surrounding area in the previous episode.

- The kid’s adorable little freak out.-

- Giving us a better idea on how large the reference room of the B06-32 shelter truly is.

- Finally being able to hear our boy Nat play the piano. The fact that his first song is named “Nat King Cool” as a possible reference to Nat King Cole is also great.

- Rossi being an accurate representation of the manga readers while watching this episode.

- Chris being his cute self.

- Seeing Ray’s sleeping face after the manga denied us so many times by hiding it.

- It’s.. close enough. We love our chef.

- I love the idea that Nat plays a couple songs before everyone goes to sleep. That’s so precious.

- SHE!! With her hair down!

- Rossi teasing Don and the fact that just mentioning Gilda is enough to scare him.

- It remembered that Gilda has a tendency to count all the children.

- The level of confidence Isabella has in her kids.

- Ray being oh so close to shooting a human with an arrow.

- This hug.

- Chris leading the group through the underground tunnels, which he also does in manga but we learn earlier in this ep it’s due to all the time he’s played down here.

- Because of his extensive knowledge of the shelter’s layout, Chris also guides everyone to one of the secret entrances to escape after he realizes the intruders are only stationed at the main two.

- Ray’s first demon kill is smooth as hell.

- Curse this scene for being so dark because that damn smile Isabella gives us is amazing.

- Since Andrew was cut, Chris and Dominic survive the aftermath of the shelter’s destruction without any injuries.

- Although we weren’t expecting to see their older 2047 selves this soon, they look good okay?

- The emotion in her voice throughout this entire scene (probably the closest we were ever gonna get to Emma doubting herself in ch109/114 too).

- Please just let me enjoy this moment when Ray noticed her negative thoughts and stepped in to help just as I expected.

- Vylk and that goofy smile of his.

- Watching the duo communicate without words during the chase through the demon town.

- Our girl clearing this jump effortlessly.

- Norman’s squishy cheeks.

- Ray’s slap could’ve been better, I know, but at this point I’m happy they still included it.

- The fact we can see Ray’s face during the reunion hug this time.

- And this hug.

- Remembering the small panel of Ray noticing Emma’s bluff.

- Finally hearing this conversation because both voice actors do a wonderful job with it and thankfully the dialogue is on par with the manga as well. Also that one moment when the shadow falls across Emma’s face like that.

- Gilda comforting Alicia after her nightmare.

- The scene is very dear to me so of course I appreciate every little panel we can get.

- How carefree Ray sounded with his “Nopes.”

- How I only realized just now that this panel was also adapted.

- Okay so who’s brilliant idea was it to have the sun rise towards the end of this conversation as Ray helps Emma regain her confidence? I just wanna personally thank them because it was a genius move and I’ll treasure it forever.

- They kept Barbara’s slip-up.

- Like our demon friends, I think the Lambda crew’s voices fit them rather well, although Zazie’s was totally unexpected, like dude you’re 5, why is your voice so low?

- Another “it could’ve been better but at least they included it” moment.

- Vincent’s smile here cracks me up and I don’t know why.

- Barbara’s anger.

- The short snippet we get of the ch126 conversation when the duo was visiting Chris.

- The table from Barbara’s outrage was never magically fixed like it was in manga, so we get this nice shot of Norman reflected in the broken surface.

- The trio’s conversation about the royals and cursed blood follows manga relatively well.

- Anime did this panel better, I’m sorry. Thank you for showing my girl getting angry.

- This frame of Ray.

- This comment of Norman’s that made me wanna slap him.

- How Norman’s face is constantly in the shadows during this scene, which is something his office at the Paradise hideout probably wouldn’t have given us, so hurray for this location instead.

- How he and Emma bicker over how many days their deal should last.

- When the camera shifts in and out of focus during Barbara’s seizure.

- How this scene hid Norman’s face until they revealed the demon the crew killed.

- It really is the small details that make me happy.

- This smile of Don’s.

- I’ll take all the hugs I can get.

- Emma and Gilda’s little headbutt.

- Why does my boy look so grown up and handsome here? Hello??

- I suppose I have to give credit for Peter’s voice actor too hm?

- Actually making Smee a bit more relevant.

- Since the fight against Legravalima was cut, this shot of Zazie is the closest we’re gonna get to seeing him without his paper bag, but it does improve on that one panel of him at the start of ch153.

- Seeing more of Norman’s time at Lambda as well as the aftermath of the explosion.

- While this scene pales in comparison to its manga counterpart, having the sun set behind him while Norman delivers his famous line was still a decent touch. It’s a nice contrast to the sunrise in ep6 and I enjoy it very much.

- Wild demons managing to somehow successful jump scare me not once, not twice, but three times in a single episode.

- Emma getting back up to protect her family despite her injury. (i mean, it’s no ch93 comeback but oh well)

- Ray getting in another decent shot at a demon.

- This face of his.

- Seeing just how quickly the drug causes the demons to degenerate and all the chaos it causes.

- Actually showing Norman attacking a demon rather than just saying he killed Yverk off panel in ch153.

- Hate me all you want but the anime did this panel better too.

- The ch153 discussion is more or less the same but the fact they added in Norman looking to Ray for help and just having him snap back instead was priceless.

- Sonju’s grin.

- The scene when Norman stops Zazie’s attack may only last like five seconds but it’s wonderfully animated and I find myself replaying it countless times.

- How to make the manga readers and anime-onlys panic with just one sentence:

- Isabella being clever as ever by leaking false info into the radio the escapees have to lure them back to Grace Field.

- I just think Emma looks so mature and pretty here?

- Had Norman actually apologize to the demons.. or was just about to anyways.

- Demon Emma is precious and must be protected.

- The adorable mixup between both Emmas.

- I haven’t a clue on where or how the kids managed to gather all the supplies to create several hot air balloons and explosives.. but they did, somehow, and I’m impressed because I’m assuming that all happened within a day.

- Ma’am, could you be any more smug?

- Simon! And he ends up surviving!

- Having Sonju fight alongside the Lambda crew.

- Which reminds me that this is possible since the Imperial Capital battle didn’t happen (yet, in this timeline), so the three of them never received their injuries from Legravalima either.

- The smoke bombs, only because I remembered how Sonju used them back in ep1 while rescuing Ray so it’s nice to see them being used again.

- Showing Norman actually use a bow and arrow this time. He also hits his target on the first try through a smokescreen.

- Ray having enough strength to knock out two demons with a simple metal pipe. In ch169 he’s seen holding down a grown man so yeah, I can believe this as well.

- Having Jemima, Yvette, Rossi & Mark disguises themselves as shipments in order to rally up the other Grace Field kids. Mark’s face and the noise he makes upon seeing Naila again is also precious.

- Peter actually falling for Vincent’s trap.

- Getting one young child to listen to you is hard enough, but Emma manages to get about 183 of them (yes I counted, give or take the four who also disguised themselves) to follow her orders in no time flat.

- Phil helping with the plan to lead all the children to the elevator.

- It made me nervous upon seeing it but they made the Day & Night ceiling real pretty.

- I knew the reunion was coming and still cried.

- Take all my hell yeahs.

- I could listen to her say this on repeat and be overjoyed every single time.

- She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll point at gun in your face.

- Getting to witness someone shoot at Peter since no one did so in the manga? Wonderful. Having that person be Isabella who literally lands a perfect shot not even a full second after he pulls out that disc? Perfection.

- Mujika and Vylk bringing in hundreds of civilian demons as reinforcements.

- James!

- Those real quick shots of the ancestors because I had given up on thinking we would’ve seen them at all since the Seven Walls arc was skipped.

- I’m actually surprised they kept his death in and it’s as harsh as the manga.

- Ray confronting Isabella with the addition of this line.

- This panel being animated along with Emma’s thoughts from ch177 towards Isabella even though that chapter’s major event didn’t happen.

- I certainly can not forget about this hug.

- At least anime!Emma told the boys her plan before reaching the door, or didn’t keep it a total secret? If not then I’ll praise the boys for accepting her crazy idea regardless.

- Boy, do you know how much I love you and your smirks?

- SHE. STAYS. ALIVE!!!

- Vincent and Norman’s little fist bump.

- Different but close enough. Still cute though.

- The amount of emotions this one shot makes me feel is limitless. Catch me crying tears of joy over it for the rest of my life.

- Having Phil not only getting the chance to see a train but to ride one as well.

- This pretty shot of Gilda.

- As well as this beautiful one with Emma and Mujika.

- They gave us older Phil. Not sure how much older but he’s still adorable.

- Lastly, the goddamn soundtrack! Of course we heard a bunch of the songs from season one, but the new ones such as “The Evil-Blooded Girl” and the Arabic version of “Isabella’s Lullaby” are absolutely fantastic. I still have to listen to full soundtrack but from what little bit I heard of such songs such as “Nat King Ballade,” “Crisis,” “Norman’s Lament,” and “The Temple Ruins,” I’m sure every track is an absolute joy. I’m so happy we had Obata back for this season.

And that’s the end of it, I guess? Of course it’s not a perfect list, as the majority of it was just personal favorites of mine but oh well. (this is just as long as ray’s birthday post too, oh lord)

I’m not gonna be one of those manga readers who continuously nag people to go read the original source material, because that’s annoying and I understand that some people just might not be up for it. They might watch a series, take it all in and then move on to the next one. Others might want to find out about every little detail and invest more time into the story. It’s totally fine to enjoy a series your own way and you shouldn’t feel pressured to continue something you’re only mildly interested in or feel bad that you love something others might despise. Just do whatever makes you happy. If you wanna check out the manga and see why us readers love it to pieces, then I promise it’s worth it, especially if you enjoyed the anime or wish to see more of any character.. or the entire story. If the manga ain’t for you, then I hope the anime did something for you. It definitely could have been better though, I can’t argue with that.

Whether you’re anime-only or manga reader, can we all still hope for a remake? This season had more flaws than any amount of praise I could give, but if years down the line we get the FMA: Brotherhood or Hellsing: Ultimate treatment where the next anime adaptation follows the manga perfectly, you know I’ll be all for it. I’m too deep in this TPN hole and I’ll probably never leave.

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 // the poisoner

hi yall its been two full weeks since the last ep which means carson's been in jail for two weeks so on with the rewatch 🥳

-"it's all my fault" love how shes still making other peoples traumas about her

-"tell him yourself" of course the best advice comes from a woman here (yay adults!!)

-something about nancy not eating d/t stress + george's mom making food for her after being possessed (bc moms cook and nancy doesnt have one? idk)(carson makes meals but they always get interrupted thats a future ep bullet point lmaooo)

-that is a HUGE fucking cake lmfaooooo

-"she talks to my mom" think i mentioned this previously but something about george --> george's mom + bess & nancy /like victoria has this relationship with these girls who dont have moms, which is ironic bc victoria can barely be a mom to her own kids (& wondering if george is taking her mom for granted or jealous that she helps these other momless girls but not her own girls)

-"i'm the worst" again with the melodrama like can u stop 🙄

-"Hi." - this moment really made me ship nace honestly

-look at nick swooping in to take the heat for nance

-lmfaoooo w/ her fighting w/ herself like this to look it up or not (+ace stalking in the bg lmaoo)

-living for this side part of hers honestly

-"where you punched a bookcase near my head?" okay you were acting crazy too bitch

-BESS in the office 😂 the unsubtle queen

-"you okay?" 😔

-switching to the actual video footage of her recording was the perfect opportunity to have the killer close a laptop screen or something to make it look like they were watching 🤦🏼‍♀️

-okay real talk. someone PLEASE explain to me what owen, nick, and bess were trying to bargain/bribe ryan with during this whole conversation

-"you're not your father, are you?" oh foreshadowing my good and loyal friend

-so in all honesty when owen broke that ghost trap i thought it was connected to how tiffany had possesed george (bc she was a freshly dead new ghost looking for a body to inhabit) and that owen had been nearby when sebastians ghost popped up and just possessed owens lil body until he took over owen's chi and became "owen" just to make up for having died on the bonny scot combined with how everyone thought he was sus and thats why owen broke the ghost trap bc he was actually a ghost. but it turns out it was just foreshadowing his death and the agleaca 🙄

-love how intuitive owen is w/ bringing nancy food here like he just knows shes been neglecting it and wants to see her eat in front of him so he knows shes eaten lately

-ACE with the sneak over nancy on the obits drawing her to the claw 0/1 high card rules

-"i'm the reason another person gets killed" damn sis how many fucking times can u blame urself for someone elses trouble

-bess's little smirks with these obits are so inappropriate but so funny lmfaooo

-absolutely loving ryans manipulations against mom here

-i knew that couple who walked past her in the car were super weird but i would never have thought they were ghosts

-"hero of horseshoe bays friends" vs "theyre not my friends" 🥺

-LOVE how she takes her beanie off when shes not alone anymore 😂😂

-i get being-dragged marks but how on earth do u know peoples shoe sizes from eyeballing prints??? (i mean i know my shoe size but if theyre limited stock then i get what i can get u know)

-i ship george/her crowbar

-"i failed my drivers test the first time i took it" okay bitch so did i lmaooo i didnt get ice cream tho i just got screamed at

-yes dr. nick show me that chemistry Phd

-wish claire would have gone into more detail about what fascinates her about heroes (false pretenses maybe? exaggerations made by press? wishing to strip heroes of their power by taunting them with perfect crimes? she probs did get off on getting away w it lmaooo not funny tho)

-okay. i can safely say claire would be me in this scenario with modified rare ass poison, a short list, and somehow getting away with it for years

-how does claire not notice her ring being taken??

-PRO FRIEND GRABBING THE PURSE GEORGE

-so actually george had the chem degree here, nice

-george + that hand on nancy's leg 😌👌🏻

-as a mom lucy must be so pissed here, "WHAT are u doing dying right now?? after all i went through to keep u alive?? unbelievable"

-love claire's instant fake limp at seeing ace lmfaoooo

-you did a good job. 💙

-i like how bess fusses at the end to make up for missing the drama

-"i'll sit this one out" nick says that in ep 2 bc he misses the morgue caper, then george misses the lilac inn sneak, (#saltcircleprobs) then ace misses the seance and now bess misses the poisoner 🤷🏼‍♀️ #justnoticingthings

-"why do you always show up?" what a fucking bitch slap lmfaooooo nancy is literally the worst sometimes 😂 like first the constant pity party of "all ills in the world ever are all my fault" and now literally sassing the people who helped u when u didnt deserve it by asking this rude ass question in the RUDEST WAY POSSIBLE?? nah sis lmaooo

-loving her hair here tho (her half up half downs are the best)

-"she found me though. when i was dying." 💙

and lastly

-"what are friends for?" LMFAOOOOOOO NICK U FUCKING SAVAGE good on u for reinforcing ur boundaries and not falling back in with the toxic ex 😌🙏🏻

[inessencedevided]

Ah, but what scenes in particular did you enjoy? The wangxian ones in general? Or were there any particular ones that stuck with you?

-the axe cultivator

Oh, ac, I missed some of your question last time didn't I? So sorry. My head is kinda in the clouds these days

There are so many scenes that stuck with me, so I'll make a bullet list and probably still miss some ^^

It's such a small thing but in ep 1 the transition from the tale of how wei wuxian was killed transitions to the tea house via a shit from within sizhui's trea cup as he's pouring tea "onto the camera". It's nothing special but remember loving that shot so much the first time I watched that it was one of the things that kept me watching

Wangxian-wise in the first two episodes, I'd be remiss not to mention that handgrip when wei wuxian plays wangxian to calm wen ning down. Because it goes on ... and on ... and on. When I watched it for the first time I was like "ooohhhh so it's gonna be this kind of gay". You know the endless-longing-stares kind. And now when I rewatch it's just devastating. The last time they saw each other before this scene, they also held onto each others wrists but wei wuxian let go and fell to his death. And here lan zhan is, holding on for minutes and only let's go once jiang cheng threatens wei wuxian. Just ... 💔

i started shipping xiyao from their very furst sxebe together. Those two actors (i try to remeber their names but i always forget them again. My memory is shit when it comes to names :/) really just did want some of that sweet sweet homoerotic tension. Also, their first interaction stand out to me as the moment i really started to like lan xichen. In a setting that was shown early on to be highly hierarchical, he exhibited in the very forst scenes that he is willing to disregard someone's standing and look at their character and abilities instead. I just really love xichen ❤

Okay, i can't name one scene per episode, so let’s sum them up a little

I adore this progression during the cloud recesses and the yin iron arc from a flirtratious rivalry to genuine deep freindship and love. There are so many little moments that stand out because of the subtle acting joices made my wang yibo and xiao zhan, as well as the script, The lantern scene, when Wei Wuxian doesn’t betray the yin iron secret to huaisang and lan wangji goes “hu, so your bullshitting has reasons”, when they are in the market and lan zhan actually communicates that he doesn’t like crowds and wei wuxian pulls him closer but not into the crowd and so many others. When you watch closely, you see them realising little details about each other and I’m honestly so impressed with how amazingly the process of their falling in love was portrayed

fast forward a bit: obviously, the freaking montage quasi-fan vid in the middle of the cave scene set to their freaking love song. I remeber when I first watched this scene I actually, literally screamed. I could not believe it because their was no fucking way that this could be read as anything but romantic and I was not used to that much blatant queer romance!

A little less happy (okay a lot). The entire destruction of the jiang clan with a special mention to the scene when Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian just saw the bodies and run into fields where they fight and Jiang Cheng chokes Wei Wuxian and then they just fall back in exhaustion and sleep right there under the open sky. Everything about that scene was brilliantly done and also soul-crushing. The loss of innosence in that moment devastated me. It was so obvious that in the moment of deepest despair, all of these children’s traumas and deep-seated fears reared their ugly heads. So Jiang Cheng directs all his grief at the easiest target for his anger and Wei Wuxian just takes it because that is what he thinks is his job. And the real tragedy? This dynamic will not be broken until Wei Wuxian’s literal death. These children need therapy so goddamn badly and all they get is more trauma on top of their excisting trauma.

“The single log bridge” scene. I. Am. A. Sucker for the found family trope, especially for characters who cronically think they have to do everything on their own. So there Wei Wuxian is saying he will walk his dark path alone, but instead he finds lit lanterns and a humble feast prepared for him by people who love him. That juxtaposition kils. me. every. time. YOU ARE LOVED WEI WUXIAN! FOR YOURSELF!

(Shout out to the second time his word are refuted, this time by lan wangji and *gasp* verbally. Because there is NO better love declaration than that scene in front of basically every leader of cultivation world who politely wait for their turn to attack them)

Luo Qingyang removing herself from the narrative. I literally cry every time.

Talking about women: jiang yanli defending wei wuxian and calling him her brother. That moment is the "three things all wise men fear" quite incarnat, only it's the anger of a gentle woman

“Let me go” So ... I have SUCH a thing for couple who grapple with questions of when it is time to let go and when it is time to hold on. So Wangxian hits all my buttons. I will go further into this in my last bullet point (about the very last scene)

Oh god, this list is gonna get so long and i’m still going to forget things

In the present timeline:

Again, to sum it up, all the gentle wangxian moment where they look at each other and their entire face grows soft. Every almost-smile lan wangji sends wei wuxian, every "oh. He really loves me huh?"-look from wei wuxian. Especially in the Jingshi just after lan Xichen's loredrop. These two intensly guarded people (yes, wei wuxian is guarded,he just hides behind smiles) are so open with each other. I only have to see a guf of lan wangji with his heir down and I go feral!

Talking about that episode, the lan family backstory as a scene does things to me. And I remember watching that the first time and so much of lan wangji's behaviour suddenly making sense. Especially little lan zhan kneeling in front of his mother’s house and that being how he showed his grief really drove home just how this man exhibits emotion. I'm pretty sure that that was the moment he really became my favourite character.

Same episode and a start juxtaposition to the domestic scene between wangxian before: the talk between lan xichen and Jin Guangyao just afterwards. You could probably write an essay of meta about the parallels and differences between those two scenes and I think that's deliberate because they're back to back. The lan brother's share tea with the person closest to their hearts. One is finally able to open himself fully, the other closes up more than he ever has before with this person. The framing in that scene alone drives that message home, never mind its content. It's heart-wrenching and so well done!

Talking about xiyao: jin guangyao's death for similar reasons. Just ... arrrgh

I'm sure I've missed a ton but thus is already so long so I'll close with my favourite overall: the last scene. The parting and subsequent reunion on the mountaintop. I've stated before why this means so much to me. It is such a reassuring message to me: to have two intensely different people learn to understand and love each other exactly as they are. Being who they are, the occasionally walk different paths. But they don't limit each other. They learn to improve each other by just being there when they are and therefore know and trust that their love will return.

This was mostly cql because you asked for "scenes", but have some honorary novel mentions:

Lan Wangji: "The face says nothing. Listen to the heart-beat." 😭😭😭

The moment when wei wuxian collapses after the second siege and lan sizhui expresses surprise over this, lan wangji says something like "We are all human." I love that moment for many reasons. 1) it's one of the rare direct insights into lan wangji's thoughts. No matter how brief he is here, you don't say something like that just because. 2) and it's significant that he is the one saying it because he, too, is placed on a pedestal. In fact, I think a lot about mdzs boils down to the conflict between the inner self and outer perception and how that dichotomy can be both a deliberate shield (lan zhan being the perfect example) and a curse

I hope you and your axe are having a wonderful day 🥰

[teruthecreator]

okay so uhhhhhhhh fitzroy’s a changeling, right??

like, we’re all seeing this?? this thing that is happening?? 

aight i’m gonna break this down because when i mentioned this theory people were very “???” and i wanna get this out before travis and griffin have a chance to get a gotcha on me. this is gonna be very long and full of spoilers but!! read on!! 

okay so this is gonna be sort of hodge-podged together but i’ve grabbed some quotes and i have some sources and we’re just gonna get freaky w it. 

so changelings, according to the DND wiki, are: 

“subtle shapeshifters capable of disguising their appearance...(they are)  commonly harmless, passive people and are uninterested in politics and social affairs. Due to their capricious ways of life, many people have come to distrust changelings which has led to them becoming social recluses or more commonly has pushed them to create fake identities to escape persecution.”  

now, immediately, there are some arguments that can be made against this theory in the fact that this blurb describes changelings as “uninterested in politics/social affairs”, but this wiki article further breaks down their alignment and says that: 

“Most changelings are neutral. They prefer to keep a low profile and often do not take passionate stances that would draw attention. However, changelings can be any alignment, and often readily adapt to the culture they are raised in.” 

there is something to be said about fitzroy’s passionate devotion to becoming a knight maybe being a product of the environment he grew up in, or perhaps being an outcome of him knowing he will be constantly persecuted unless he makes a solid name for himself. quote supporting this comes from Episode 7 during his talk with Higglemas: 

“If you… do the work, and you stay true to whatever cause you swear yourself to, you can… become somebody. Somebody important. Somebody who may someday become even more important, in a way that is not simply guaranteed in any other sort of way of life.” 

also! from another dnd wiki comes this lil quote: 

“Despite common fears, few changelings embrace evil.” 

and that fact is INCREDIBLY evident in how fitzroy has viewed the villain track this entire campaign so far! 

but what i am most interested in and why i believe this theory so strongly is just how absolutely shifty fitzroy has been. fitzroy talks A Lot, but if you look at what he says, he doesn’t say Much about his actual life. the most he ever goes into detail with is his removal from Clyde Nite’s Night Knight School, which even then doesn’t touch upon his life before knight school. and even when he’s confronted with times to be honest! to actually open up and talk about things! what does fitzroy do? 

he avoids it. 

the first Major instance of this i would say is Episode 6, when leon literally goes up to fitzroy and is like “what do you feel about this situation?” and fitzroy says all this surface-level bullshit and basically talks circles around leon until he drops the subject. 

THERE IS ALSO SOMETHING TO BE SAID ABOUT THE FACT THAT GRIFFIN IMMEDIATELY ROLLED TO LIE WHEN LEON ASKED IF HE COULD KEEP A SECRET. also fitzroy’s deception stat is Pretty High for a half-elf trying desperately to be a knight, i’m just sayin’... 

but also! another moment that fitzroy Completely Avoids Being Honest is this most recent episode (ep 7)!! when higglemas asks fitzroy why he wants to be a knight and fitzroy is immediately like: 

“Why do I care about being a knight? Hm. That‘s a fair question that I… would…rather… not… answer to you? Or anyone. If that‘s okay. Is that okay?” 

this is a private moment between a teacher (a headmaster even), and a student. most kids would typically see this as a safe space to be honest. but fitzroy is either extremely skeptical of this entire school because he Knows shady shit when he sees it (which is valid, given what we’ve seen of the goings on) and/or fitzroy has Far More to hide than this school does. 

which would then make complete sense why the Unbroken Chain would want to know everything about fitzroy. because they’ve started to pick up that fitzroy is keeping A Lot to himself. and that reads as really shady!! even if it is just fitzroy trying to hide his changeling-self so he isn’t persecuted by the masses, like changelings typically Are in DND. 

there are so many little moments, too, that just Scream “he’s hiding something” that feel like changeling stuff to Me. imma just chuck a couple of em out: 

“It is unusual but you know, beggars cannot be choosers. I have sworn fealty to Goodcastle. Who am I to judge their secrecy?” (ep 3; interesting how he considers himself a “beggar”; possibly speaks to a past where he Has had to scrounge for his way up i.e. new identities; him not judging their secrecy Says Something to how fitzroy feels about people keeping secrets) 

“I was just gonna kick it here, I think. No need to bug the folks back home. Uh, Goodcastle is, of course, out of my reach at this moment. Uh, what with my not knowing exactly its, uh, its exact location… upon terra firma. But um, yeah. Just gonna sort of… I guess sit here with the Firbolg and… wait.” (ep 7; fitzroy has been portrayed as this dude who came from a Wealthy Upkeep and has been Consistently complaining about this school, but when the opportunity arrives to go home he decides he’s going to stay??? interesting...) 

“I think maybe doing some work might be a good idea. It would be nice to have something, uh, in the old coffers that the three of us could treat as a bankroll for the new Thunderman operation.” (ep 7; another supporting line for “if fitzroy comes from wealth, why would he care about getting more money?”; speaks to his backstory not being solid) 

this is also not really a piece of Solid Evidence, but my girlfriend realized in episode 2 when fitzroy is describing how he ended up getting removed from the knight school, he says he “catfished” the headmaster. one can see this as the ally-oop to the “i turned her into a catfish” joke fitzroy makes immediately after this line. BUT remember that catfish is typically a term used when someone uses a fake identity on someone. and we all gotta remember, this is Griffin Mcelroy we’re talking about. if there’s anyone to drop those subtle kinda hints on us, it’s gonna be This Dude. 

obviously this theory seems kind of wild, when you read my opener. but i encourage you all to look at the sites i’ve linked and really Look at fitzroy’s character!! i think this boy is hiding a lot more under that charismatic personality and preference for sweet crepes, and this would be a super cool element to fitzroy’s character! 

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 10x13: What We Become - First Thoughts

Holy symbolism and a half! This episode was amazing! Kind of freaking out over here. Okay, where to start?

This was such a beautiful episode. Especially in a Richonne sort of way. I really loved it. It was a crazy psychological episode for sure, but I thought it was gorgeous! The way they tied things together and did flashbacks to the very early episodes with Michonne. It was just utterly moving and compelling.

***As always, spoilers abound below. Don’t read until you’ve watched! ***

So, Virgil was a researcher in a medical lab on the island. There’s a lot of virus and Cure and medical stuff. In fact, the place Michonne goes into with him at the beginning to kill his family (who are walkers) was pretty much a replay of the golf club. It had the Grady lighting and it looked like a medical place. Not so much like a hospital as like the retirement that the Governor went into in 4×06. But it was still medical and then they went into a room and they were people hanging from the ceiling, just like at the golf club.

And that’s probably where we got the most fascinating symbol—to me anyway—of the entire episode. We saw a shoe on the floor. So, my first thought of course was lost shoe symbolism. 

And the people hanging were obviously Virgil’s family, so he fell to his knees and was crying. It was very difficult scene. But then he did something really interesting.

He picked up the shoe and put it back on the walker.

In all the seasons that we’ve had lost shoe symbolism, we’ve never seen someone pick the shoe up and put it back on its original owner. And that made me rethink the symbolism just a little bit. I still think it points to the death fake out. But I think it’s specifically represents the separation of the people involved. Putting the shoe back on probably represents the reunion. So, Virgil was reunited with his family, even if they were dead. And Michonne finds Rick’s shoes, which means she’s about to be reunited with him.

You could even think about it from a Disney standpoint. I’m thinking about the end of Cinderella when the prince puts her lost shoe back on her foot. Could this Lost shoe symbolism have been a Cinderella template all along? Crazy.

Oh, by the way, Virgil picks white flowers to give his dead wife. I am 99% sure they aren’t Cherokee roses. They almost look more like lilies. But when he picks them, he’s still telling Michelle that his wife is alive, and it turns out, much like Sophia, that his wife is a walker. So even if they aren’t actually Cherokee roses, I think the symbolism is the same.

The Apple Symbol – this episode made me totally rethink it.

Michonne eats an apple and then finds out that Virgil has poisoned her. What he gave her, Jimmyweed, apparently, gives her the trippy hallucinations where she didn’t save Andrea and becomes one of Negan’s minions. So, we literally have an example of a poisoned apple. Since we’ve compared the Snow White template to Beth, maybe that’s not very shocking, but I can’t help but think that every single apple has represented a poison apple in some way. 

And I think maybe the poison apple just represents losing one’s family. I was thinking that I didn’t understand why we saw so many apples around Maggie in season seven, since she obviously didn’t die or anything. But she just lost Glenn. So maybe just as the poison apple divided Snow White from her prince and her friends, the dwarves, the apples that we see in TWD are always about being separated from the ones you love. And that’s why they’re “poisoned” apples. (I went back and watched 7x08 finally, and it confirmed this. I’ll talk about it in more detail later in the week.)

The Michonne stuff, while not particularly TD, was totally crazy. Did everyone notice that, in her hallucination, it was here that killed Glenn, at the Savior compound? And I loved that she and Rick came face to face. And Daryl killed her. After all the history between the characters in this show, it just strikes a major chord.

Also, in the hallucination, after Daryl shoots her, the camera focuses on Rick’s boot as he steps on her. A direct foreshadow of her finding his boots. I also had the thought that this is why we saw so much closeness and banter between her and Daryl in ep 1. Of course we already know they’re close, but they were also setting up this hallucination in a big way.

But the biggest take away here is that Michonne’s decision to help Andrea is what set her life on a positive path. I’ve talked about this before, but they like to say, especially on TTD, that if Negan had been the hero of the show, rather than Rick, to begin with, he’d be the good guy. And you all know I don’t buy into that. No one has been 100% behind Rick when he makes morally questionable decisions. We still love him, but don’t condone his occasional brutality, per se. And he’s certainly never beat someone’s head in with a bat in order to enslave people. It’s all about the choices they make.

By making the chose to show Andrea mercy (we definitely had the mercy theme in this episode) it led Michonne to where she met Rick and Carl, who became her family. She met her soulmate, adopted Carl and Judith as children, and eventually had another baby with Rick. But that all stemmed for that one choice to help and show mercy. I love themes like this!

One of the most powerful moments of this episode was near the end, when it flashes back to Rick staring at her through the prison fence in episode 3×02 and you hear Carl saying, “dad, should we help her?“ So powerful!

Oh, by the way, in hallucination when Daryl shot her,  he had both wings on his vest. I about screamed. But it actually makes sense because that would have been back during All Out War, before he lost one of his wings. 

But it also shows that the loss of the wing was very intentional and they took the time to put it back on his vest for this hallucination.

They talked a lot about heaven and hell and staring up at the stars. This was Michonne’s hell, being evil and not having ever acquired her family (Rick, Carl, Judith, RJ).

When encouraging Michonne to go find Rick, Judith said, “what if he’s trying to come home to, but no one will help him?” (Emphasis mine.) Talk about a home reference. And Michonne heads north to look for Rick. So we have a home and north star symbolism.

Michonne also says that she will try the walkie every morning for as long as she can. Just like Rick and Morgan’s arrangement in S1. Obviously, just like with Morgan, at some point Michonne will move out of radio distance, and she’ll be gone for a while. But I maintain that Rick and Michonne will have a reunion with their kids, just as Rick and Morgan did.

At the very end, she sees a huge group moving north with horses. I couldn’t help but wonder if that will end up tying into Fear the Walking Dead somehow. Or possibly the Highwaymen, who also rode horses.

I have a ton more to say about this. SO many great details and symbols, but I’ll go into them more tomorrow. How did everyone else like the episode?

[rqs902]

.

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS 

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE 

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing 

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends 

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO 

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now 

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like. 

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’) 

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits? 

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’) 

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified 

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :( 

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak 

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt? 

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)  

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage 

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying 

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy 

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable. 

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL 

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap 

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting 

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT 

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie 

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :(  im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show. 

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure 

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional 

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :( 

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay 

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular... 

[idio-cies]

Tine and Anxiety

How are people feeling? Knowing that tomorrow is the last episode of this beautiful series? Sad? Excited? Don’t want it to be over? Same

Welp, this may or may not hurt when reading and probably won’t be my last meta/analysis on this series. Anyways... This is a long post folks, so make sure you are sitting comfortably.

I am almost certain that Tine accentuates some kind of anxiety.

I don’t like diagnosing people, but this is just something that I deeply relate Tine with. As a person who has CFS/ME with depression and anxiety, who also has a best friend with severe anxiety, my mum and sister also having depression as well as having many other friends with mental health issues revolving around anxiety and/or depression and doing a lot research both on anxiety and depression. I know the ins and outs of these mental illnesses. I will not go into further detail because as I am trying by hardest to not sound like an obnoxious twat whilst writing this.

I came across this article so I could check that I was right about relationship anxiety which Tine does express. This is pretty self-explanatory so you can read at your own leisure if you wish, but as a brief summary relationship anxiety most likely comes out of previous bad relationships, low self-esteem an attachemnt style one has grown up with in childhood (honestly this is another thing entirely, I talk a little bit about this here), but also relies on knowing oneself, having good communication etc.It just screams out here.

I need to clear things up as well before I really start getting in deep. It is correct that every human being has self-doubt, it is intrinsic to the human psyche, there is no doubt about it, unless you are self-righteous or have learnt that you are loved and you can love yourself a healthy amount, then good for you! This video is a good summary of how disliking oneself is natural human response

Now, where anxiety related to Tine comes in is the fact that he ruminates, he worries excessively and his automatic response to things going wrong he places on himself, and just in general has such a deep lack of self-worth and self-love that all you wanna do is cuddle him all day. This takes it further than what a normal human beings response is. 

Tine obsesses, and as a result makes him spiral and becomes unwell. Rumination is both a feature of Anxiety and depression. This is where things get tricky because Depression and Anxiety work hand in hand, with some traits crossing over (such as rumination), you can also have panic attacks with depression as well. The reason why I think it is anxiety is because of how things morphed with Tine, how he worried himself to be literally sick on more than one occasion

and it looks like he does the same this week. You can see the IV and how he is laying 

and he doesn’t to eat

This is not “normal human behaviour”. Worrying so much it makes you ill is one thing (see article here), but actively avoiding food is another thing. It’s another response people have when they are under extreme stress, though people can also over eat.

My analysis of “Escape” supports rumination.

There is no category that I will place him. I will leave this article here for people to go through if they are interested (I’m sorry, I know this is a lot of links, I just want to prove what I’m saying). 

so, when we meet Tine he seems like this ball of energy, he comes across as self-righteous with his Mr Chic facade

But that’s the thing: it’s a facade, it’s a coping mechanism, which shields him. I wouldn’t say that this is a classic example of anxiety as anyone can put up a front to hide all sorts of things. I know that I used to have facades or personalities I use in front of people.

Anyway, this Mr. Chic persona was all that, a persona, he took refuge in it. Which is why we see the comeback of it in ep 9 as he was experiencing some stage fright mixed with a heck of a lot of self-doubt and stress, which Green had identified was a coping mechanism!!!!

This front was used in order to block himself from being hurt, from rejection and from life in general, as well as of course criticism. His friends aren’t the brightest bunch, though evidently Fong (bless his heart) is very emotionally intelligent and let us know that they were aware of Tine and how he self-imposes on himself, has to prove his worth etc

This explains why he was so fatalistic in ep 11

Because he is still putting himself on trial and their relationship

It was legit after the tree got trodden on it all went wrong 

Poor Nuisance Tree... RIP

Anyway, but as friends do, they tease each other, which is ultimately something that Tine is afraid of. He doesn’t like the teasing. Based on my perspective of teasing, I bite back with teasing, but it may be because it’s because I am sensitive about it. Tine by no means has my temper, so it doesn’t surprise me if he is effected and is scared to be teased because in all actuality, he is sensitive about those topics. 

Next, he gets obsessed. People noticed about not moving on from Sarawat, there are a few explanations. 1. they needed it for Sarawat’s popularity to broadcast it 2. I bet you Tine got intrigued 3. potentially, he got obsessed with the idea. Tine was adamant to “get rid of Green” this in of itself was an obsession and no fucking wonder it backfired. Some, “normal, healthy” people I’m sure would’ve moved on, but oh no, not this dumbass quartet

Which is another thing. He is heavily influenced by his friends. Naturally, a person listen and adapt their thinking to their peers, but some don’t and are adamant in their thoughts. What gets me here is that Tine practically doesn’t allow himself to think for himself very much. I mean, it’s natural to go to friends for advice, but he was always very quick to go “yeah you’re right”. He is too easily swayed by what his friends tell him or their philosophies. Go look at episode 8 1/4 6:50 onwards. He concludes so quickly... Though I guess in this round, he felt it was right.

As soon as he sees one “fit” per se, that is it, which is apt as he is always been on the search for “the one”

(It will not surprise me if this series does full circle, and has Tine going to Sarawat once more as Sarawat did all of the chasing after this... kinda)

Tine can make up his mind very quickly once he sees fit. The only time he has really made sense and not listened to his friends fully was when he realised he loved Sarawat, and he went hell for leather on proving himself in episode 9. 

Tine had to prove himself in order to be worthy of Sarawat to love him, he thought he had failed, but Sarawat showed him a different perspective. Sarawat is very good at comforting Tine and showing him a new perspective... 

Sarawat is so good in this scene, because he tells Tine (in their little hypothetical language) that it is up to Tine is in control (which he felt he wasn’t), that Sarawat won’t pressure him, and that he is enough just as he is. That he doesn’t need to prove himself.

To a degree he helps every time, but as I have said before, if Tine is anything like me, those affirmations are useless after a couple hours max.

This post and also this one are really good at explaining Sarawat, and my perception of the last episode, so please also give those a read because I don’t want to repeat and make this even longer than it is! I do not blame Sarawat, and understand that it is human to make mistakes, which is also why I am making this post, because Tine is also wrong and is not helping their relationship or himself!!!

The time when he did believe in them was during episode 10 with Type in the house... it was extraordinary

Sorry I love Sarawat’s reaction to this

It’s like “Okay, you got it, why you gotta be so cute tho” 

Then the next week it goes downhill again and he believes that he is the one causing everything to go wrong (ahem, look at the first article)

He puts all the blame on himself... But Sarawat was always there to tell him that it was okay, that he was there with him, never got angry, just gave him smiles and headpats galore while looking at him with all the love in the world

I had to add in the “lets go to bed” bit here 

because I feel like it’s under appreciated. Sarawat was continuously telling Tine “we can look for it later, lets focus on this for now” and did a little nod. He was trying to help Tine not feel so bad, he recognised it and tried to give him comfort. He tried setting an agenda, so that Tine didn’t need to be overwhelmed with processing too many things if that makes any sense? He cares a lot and knew it was bothering him. It didn’t work as Tine was riddled with guilt, so he wasn’t satiated by it unfortunately, but this trip really did churn everything up :/ 

It’s just super hard to get Tine to feel alright in himself, but Sarawat is so lovely about it all. He loves Tine so much, so this week is going to hurt so bad when Tine tries to break things off as it is just going to be so difficult to make sure Tine is secure in himself and the relationship... I better stop

The fact that this is the state Tine puts himself in, again and again screams anxiety to me. The facade kept things up for a while, but I would not be surprised if this is how he went through life for quite some time. Plus the fact that Type also shows this need for a facade by trying to be a perfectionist is very interesting as well. 

Of course, I can be wrong in all of this. Please don’t hold me to it, but as a person who profoundly resonates with Tine, and would consider myself to be well versed in anxiety, I think that Tine most likely does have a form of anxiety. He just takes “self-doubt” to the next level. 

As always I am welcome to discussion! Credits to those blogs with the posts I linked to! 

Thank you for reading, I hope you guys are all staying safe, and I look forward to tomorrows episode ^-^ 

I am so not ready to let it go 😭😭

[demented-dukey]

In-depth Meta of “Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts” as it pertains to Incest and the presumed sibling relationship between Remus and Roman

Thanks to @squipfromjapan​ for picking out these moments from the episode. They also notated other moments that could be interperated as “sibling banter”, but for this post I’m going to focus on the dialogue that specifically references brotherhood.

I’m making this post so I have something to link to whenever someone tells me that “They called each other brothers several times!” or “The episode said they were twins!”, because I keep seeing the same assumptions made over and over again being represented as cold hard facts, when there is so much more nuance and room for debate.

So. Let’s look at the episode “Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts”, shall we? Buckle your seatbelts, kiddos, ‘cause this is gonna be a wild ride.

💚

Timestamp: 5:46 Remus: “Have you ever imagined killing your brother?”  

Remus whispers this line in Thomas’s head. He is referencing Thomas’s dream the previous night, where Thomas literally imagined murdering his brother and dragging the dead body into his bathroom. The dream sequence won’t be revealed until later in the episode, but upon rewatch this is a clear reference to ~specifically~ That Dream. This is also a more subtle reference to the “Moving On” two-ep arc, when Thomas showed a drawing his younger self had made of him electrocuting his brother. We know from the livestreams that Thomas and Joan have been planning Remus since the “Growing Up” episode, and have been dropping hints and easter eggs about Remus’s existence in various episodes. That drawing indicates that these “intrusive thoughts” have been with Character!Thomas for a long time, and this is not the first time this particular thought has crossed his mind.

A few moments later, Remus appears and knocks out Roman. Patton screams, “You killed him!”, but it’s a lot less likely that Remus was actually intending to ~murder~ Roman - Roman is obviously not “dead” because he continues to mutter in his sleep, and Remus does not continue to attack Roman to finish the job. It’s made clear later in the episode when Remus attacks Logan that his actions are impermanent, and do not do lasting harm to the other sides.

Because Remus attacked Roman directly after uttering this line, many people have taken that to mean the “brother” in question is Roman, thus it implies that Remus was talking about killing Roman. But correlation does not equal causation - just because the action happened so soon after the line, doesn’t mean that the line is referring to that action. The action echoing the line makes for a beautiful cinematic parallel, but it’s all a matter of interpretation. People can make that association, but it is their headcanon, NOT actual canon proof.

For example: Immediately before Remus’s appearance, the other sides are taking about whether ghosts are evil, or if they just appear to scare people. At the same time, Remus is appearing (much like a ghost) behind Roman. The conversation directly parallels this for a reason - the viewer is supposed to make that association and wonder “Is Remus evil? Or does he just scare people because you never know when he’s going to show up?” Being a mental projection of Thomas’s mind, Remus is very ghost-like, and he even says the trademark ghost sound, “Boo!”, but in this scene there is no more “proof” that Remus is a literal “ghost” of a dead person than there is “proof” that Remus is trying to kill his literal “brother”.

Conclusion: “Have you ever imagined killing your brother?” is referring to Thomas’s bad dream, not the relationship between Remus and Roman.

💚

Timestamp: 7:53 Roman: “Bro, I’m gonna whip your butt!”

Roman calls Remus ‘bro’. Yes, this can imply a sibling relationship, but “bro” is often used for non-sibling relationships as well. Roman says this line as a threat, much like the common phrase, “Come at me, bro!” or the less threatening but equally common phrase “Cool story, bro.” - which can be used to address anyone of any gender without indicating a sibling relationship. Much like “Dude”, “Bro” carries a inherently “male” association, but it is not used exclusively to address “men” - it can also be used interchangeably to refer to a woman or nonbinary person.

For example: In the beginning of this episode, Thomas is doing an advertisement for Hello Fresh. He holds up a dish of food and says to the viewer, “You jealous of this, bro?” Thomas is using the term “bro” as a nickname, and addressing his entire audience irregardless of gender. Thomas is NOT implying a sibling relationship with the audience.

Conclusion: “Bro” is a commonly used generic greeting, not proof of a sibling relationship.

💚

Timestamp: 14:30 Logan: “At a young age you filed away your products of your imagination as either welcome or forbidden. This led to the development of two separate sides of your creativity.” Thomas: “So my creativity split in two?” Logan: "Into two parts during your development, yes. Like an ovum. The Duke is like Roman’s twin.”

For this scene, let's go over some basic English Grammar rules. What Logan is saying is an example of a simile, because he uses the word "like". Logan says "Like an ovum. The Duke is like Roman's twin."

A simile is a figure of speech that directly compares two things. Logan has proven in other episodes that he is very literal and very, very careful with his speech, so he is using a simile on purpose. He is not saying that the Duke ~is~ Roman's twin, he is saying that the Duke is ~like~ Roman's twin, drawing a comparison so that Thomas can better understand Remus’s role in Thomas’s psyche. This comparison has nothing to do with how Roman and Remus ~feel~ about each other, it is strictly an example of Remus’s role in Thomas’s brain and the portion of his negative Creativity that Remus embodies, as a comparison to Roman’s role and control of Thomas’s positive Creativity.

As Logan says this, he hold up two fingers together before splitting them while talking about why Remus exists - this indicates that Roman and Remus were once one whole side. Much like Thomas’s “whole” personality “split” into the personifications of Creativity, Morality, and Logic, Creativity “split” again to form Roman and Remus. Therefore, Remus and Roman are no more “genetically” related to each other than any of the other sides. 

It’s worth noting, also, that the specific details around the split are still unclear. A majority of the fandom has accepted the headcanon that Creativity, prior to the split, was a Personification of unknown name and personality that was equally split into what we now know as Roman and Remus. But it is possible that Roman himself was the Original Creativity with Complete Control, until the negative attributes were removed from him and created into a separate being, like Eve was created from Adam’s rib.

Conclusion: “The Duke is like Roman's twin" is a simile used to explain what Remus’s job is in comparison to Roman’s job. It is not a description of how Roman and Remus feel about each other, and it is not proof that they are siblings.

💚

Timestamp: 15:01 Remus: “You made me this way Thomas. I was the unloved brother from the Genesis. Roman and I are Cain and Abel.”

Logan points out later in the video that Remus intentionally uses Religious Iconography to play to Thomas’s sensitivities. It’s possible Remus is being deliberately misleading as a scare-tactic (he accused Logan of being Deceit when he knew he wasn’t, so he is capable of lying), but for this meta let’s assume he is being genuine in his comparison.

Remus uses a metaphor (not a simile) to compare himself and Roman to Cain and Abel. While some people use this comparison as “proof” that Remus harbors a desire to kill Roman, this is not the point he is trying to make.

Let’s backtrack to the story of Cain and Abel: Cain and Abel are the first two sons born to Adam and Eve. Cain, a farmer, offers God a portion of his crops one day as a sacrifice, only to learn that God is more pleased when Abel, a herdsman, presents God with the fattest portion of his flocks. Enraged, Cain kills his brother. God exiles Cain from his home to wander in the land east of Eden.

Why is Remus using this as a metaphor for how Thomas “made” Remus the way he is? Remus equates Thomas to “God” in the story, because Character!Thomas is the one who “created” his own sides - He is the one responsible for visualizing them as separate beings. Logan points out that Remus and Roman literally wear Black and White because they are Thomas’s sides, and that is how Thomas sees them. Roman and Remus each contribute creative ideas to Thomas (read: “sacrifices” to their “God”), but Thomas is more pleased with Roman’s contributions and shuns/exiles Remus. Remus doesn’t actually say that he wants to kill Roman; however he does heavily imply that it is Thomas’s fault that Remus was created to be inferior, Thomas who chose to favor Roman over Remus, and therefore Thomas’s fault for Remus’s actions and any rage Remus may feel towards Roman.

Conclusion Part One: Remus uses religious imagery on purpose to play to Thomas’s sensitivities. He uses the metaphor of Cain and Abel to point out how he has been mistreated by Thomas, but does not confirm or deny any harsh feelings towards Roman himself.

But while we’re on the topic, let’s look a little more into Religious Canon. Adam was the first human created by God on the planet. God removed a rib from Adam and used it to fashion Eve, to be Adam’s wife. (As I mentioned above, this iconography is a cinematic parallel to Remus’s creation. As Eve used to be a part of Adam, so was Remus a part of Roman before he was removed and reformed into a separate being.) Not only was Eve literally created from a physical part of Adam, she also would then share his genetic code. Even if Adam and Eve didn’t have sibling “feelings” towards each other, an argument can be made that they are still an incest pairing.

Cain, a son of Adam and Eve, marries a woman and produces children to populate the earth. But if Adam and Eve were the only humans on Earth, then Cain’s wife must be a daughter of Adam and Eve, and therefore Cain’s sister. Thus, Cain and his wife are also an incest pairing.

Conclusion Part Two: Adam & Eve, as well as Cain & his wife, are both incest relationships. If a romantic relationship between Roman and Remus is considered incest, it is still no more problematic than the biblical family Remus was comparing himself to.

💚

Timestamp: 35:52 Thomas: “So, you have a brother?” Roman: “Yeah.”

This is, by far, the most commonly used argument in favor of the headcanon that Roman and Remus are brothers. Most fans hear Roman’s “yeah” as confirmation that he sees Remus as a brother. 

However, there is still room for debate. “So, you have a brother?” “…yeaaaaah.” Roman is reluctant. He tilts his head back. He stretches the word out. Maybe he’s not quite sure “brother” is the right term for it, but there’s not really anything else he can call him. There’s no easy word for the other half of what used to be a whole fusion. Remus is like a limb that used to be attached, or a rib that was removed and created into a separate person. Remus is something to him, alright, and Roman feels responsible for Remus in a way that the other sides aren’t because of their shared history. So of course he would default to “brother”, it’s the simplest way to try to grasp a large and complex issue. He then starts comparing Remus to a mirror - “It shows you everything you don’t want to be.” When he looks at Remus, he doesn’t say he sees a sibling or a rival - he says he sees ~himself~, the dark parts of his own mind he doesn’t want to admit to. The dark parts that used to BE part of his own mind before they were separated. 

Conclusion: Roman’s “Yeah.” is the closest thing to “proof” of a sibling relationship in the entire episode. But it’s also debatable - Roman seems hesitant/reluctant to confirm that Remus is his brother, and he doesn’t actually use the term himself.

💚

So, let’s recap. In the Intrusive Thoughts episode, there were the following references to brotherhood:

One (1) occurrence of Roman calling Remus “bro”, which is a generic form of address.

One (1) occurrence of Remus comparing his relationship with Roman to “Cain and Abel”, which is an intentional use of Incestual and Religious Iconography designed to shock and repulse Thomas.

Two (2) occurrences of Someone Else (Logan and Thomas) associating Remus with a familial term (twin/brother).

One (1) occurrence of Roman (reluctantly?) “confirming” Thomas’s “brother” association, but never using the term himself.

Roman never calls Remus his twin, nor uses the word “brother”, and he compares his feelings towards Remus to “looking in a mirror” and seeing not a twin, but himself.

Remus never calls Roman his brother, nor his twin, and he never directly comments on his feelings towards Roman.

This will change as new episodes reveal more about Roman and Remus, but as of “Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts”, all the “proof” in the episode that Roman and Remus are brothers and/or twins is debatable and subject to interpretation.

If you want to believe that they ARE twins/brothers and share a platonic relationship, that’s a valid headcanon, but it is not the only one.

If you want to believe that they ARE twins/brothers and share a romantic relationship, that’s a valid headcanon. There are many reasons to intentionally ship a fictional incest pairing.

If you want to believe that they are NOT twins/brothers and share a platonic relationship, that's a valid headcanon.

If you want to believe that they are NOT twins/brothers and share a romantic relationship, that's a valid headcanon.

[littlethingwithfeathers]

HBO’s Chernobyl - A Content Guide

Hey everyone!

So... the docudrama “Chernobyl” on HBO is probably one of the best things to ever grace a television, and everyone should totally go watch it right this now.

However, it is not an easy watch, even if you’re stout of constitution like me. While the show does not over-dramatize or sensationalize the horrors that happened during and after the Chernobyl disaster, it also does not shy away from showing them when appropriate. So I thought I’d put together a watch-guide just to make people aware of the more graphic scenes and topics in the show. I don’t have time-stamps. This is just more painting with a broad brush. And if you’ve got questions, feel free to ask me. 

I do my best to leave plot elements out of my summary, so as to avoid “spoilers” (if you can really have such a thing in something like this), but there are some plot points that could be potential problems for people so... spoiler warning?

Also, the full scripts are available online here if that’s helpful as well. They’re actually worth a read after you’ve seen the show... lots of interesting commentary in the blocking.

The guide is below the cut. Enjoy!

Episode 1 - "1:24:45"

This episode concerns the first eight hours after the reactor explodes. Point of view bounces back and forth between what's happening inside the reactor and what's happening in the nearby town of Pripyat. 

Ep. 1 gets a blanket warning for pandemonium and confusion in the wake of the explosion (which happens almost immediately at the start of the episode), gore/blood/wounds consistent with very acute radiation sickness, including burns, frequent vomiting of blood, and vibrant "radiation tans" which appear similar to severe sunburns. There is very little screaming or crying save in a couple of specific cases I will detail below. Mostly, dying of radiation sickness looks like someone with a serious case of the stomach flu who also has a horrible sunburn. 

There are no jumpscares, but the whole episode has a palpable escalating tension about it almost in the style of a horror movie. "No no no don't go in there! The core is open and you're going to die!" That's the general internal monologue while watching. The viewer knows, but characters do not really understand what's happened for the entirety of the episode. Most of the tension revolves around the plant management insisting that everything is fine and making people go to the reactor site to check on things and them becoming horribly ill. It's not until close to the end of the episode that someone goes and looks in daylight and sees what's happening (and even still the management doesn't believe it until the next episode).

Spot warnings:

The first scene is a suicide. A man hangs himself in the very beginning. We only see his feet dangling. It's very fast. We don't see a struggle.

The explosion is also very early in the episode (about 7 minutes in) and is not a jumpscare or particularly rattling. It's viewed from a far off window and is silent initially until the shockwave arrives. There isn't a huge tension build up. It's something very distant. 

(personal note) This is one of my favorite things about the show… they don't go the traditional narrative route. Show starts and they do two things in the first ten minutes. Kill the main character, and blow up the reactor. All of it without any sort of ceremony or tension-building.

Any scenes in the wrecked reactor, turbine, and water pump halls get a blanket warning for radiation related gore and suffering. There is no screaming or yelling due to injury. It feels very claustrophobic and dread-inducing because of the way it's shot. It's almost as if there is a monster in these halls, but that monster is the rapidly leaking radiation.

Same goes for any scenes involving the firemen outside the reactor. They are standing next to an open reactor core spraying it with aerosolized water. They are going to get very sick, and many of them do on site. Vomiting, lethargy, and obvious radiation tans are the main symptoms shown.

One fireman picks up a hunk of graphite which is highly radioactive. Later, he is screaming on the ground in pain when they try to pull his glove off, revealing a very severe and graphically depicted radiation burn on the entirety of the palm of his hand.

A group of people from the town watch the fire burn from a railroad bridge. As they watch, ash falls from the sky. This is actual, honest to goodness fallout. Nothing happens while they are watching, but the cinematography and the score make sure you know that they are all going to get very sick. 

Three men from the plant are sent to lower the control rods by hand, which has them going into the open reactor core (again, they don't know it's blown apart). Two go in and are instantly radiation tanned. The third, who pried the door open, is also partially radiation tanned, but because he had wedged himself against the radiation-leeching metal of the doorframe, he is severely and acutely burned where he'd braced himself. The burns are under his white clothes, but he begins bleeding profusely before collapsing in the hallway.

We find this man later, clothes soaked in blood. He is nearly incapacitated and obviously dying, but there's no screaming or wailing. He actually asks another plant worker for a cigarette and smokes it quietly.

Two men go down to open water pumps and are made incredibly ill by radiation poisoning. Again, there is no screaming. They just get weaker and weaker.

The control room manager, Dyatlov, vomits in a conference room near the end of the episode.

A man is sent to the roof of the reactor building at gunpoint to survey the damage. When he turns back from the edge of the reactor pit, his face has a severe radiation tan.

***

Episode 2 - "Please Remain Calm"

This episode happens over the next 60 hours or so after the accident and concerns the discovery of just how bad the accident is. Up until this point, no one really understood or accepted that the core had cracked open. This is the slow dawning of the apocalypse. There is less gore in this episode. It's more building tension as everyone comes to understand how awful things are and how much worse they are going to get. Blanket warning for general struggle and pandemonium in the hospital scenes, and milder images of radiation sickness (they're all still very sick and traumatized, but there's less actual blood). 

Spot warnings:

In the burn ward of the hospital, the firemen are all there and very very ill. A doctor recognizes that it's radiation poisoning and begins pulling their clothes off. The clothes are thrown in the basement. As she's leaving, the doctor looks down at her hand, which had been holding a bundle of clothes and she has a mild radiation burn.

There is a tense scene when the fireman's wife arrives at the hospital. She runs into some of the people from the railway bridge who are very sick. One man begs her to take his baby and run away from Pripyat. There is a lot of pitched yelling and begging.

There is an argument between Legasov and Shcherbina in the helicopter about whether or not they're going to fly over the core. It gets quite tense with vivid threats on both sides.

The plan with the helicopters to drop sand and boron on the reactor goes about as well as one might imagine at least until they get the distance worked out.

When the decision is made to evacuate the city, people are forced to leave their pets behind. 

Towards the end of the episode, it is discovered that there are pools of water under the reactor that need to be drained. This must be done by hand and it is made clear that whoever it is will likely die of radiation poisoning. Three men volunteer to go down under the burning reactor in diver suits, and wade through chest deep irradiated water to open the valves and drain the tanks. Again, this goes about as well as one would expect. It's probably the most tense moment in the whole episode. They get lost when their flashlights fail. The dosimeters are going bananas, and to top it all off… it ends on a cliffhanger with them lost in the dark. So… you might want to keep going. Not that the next episode is much better.

***

Episode 3 - "Open Wide O Earth"

This episode sprawls out over the next couple of weeks post-explosion. It largely concerns itself with the immediate cost of human lives. It gets a huge blanket warning for radiation-related gore, most often in the Moscow Hospital. Radiation poisoning this acute is a horrible and incredibly visceral way to die, and while it's not sensationalized or overwrought… they don't shy away from showing how it truly is. Legasov actually lists the symptoms and progression early on in the episode before we watch it happen. Which goes in this order.

-Initial symptoms were seen last episode: "nuclear tan" surface burns on the skin, vomiting, lethargy, loss of consciousness. This continues for a day or two. 

-Patients seem to rally as they enter a latency period and the immediate effects seem to subside. Recovery seems possible. The firefighters are shown playing cards at one point. Burns are visible on their skin but it looks like a really bad but healing sunburn. This lasts a day or two in these cases.

-Then the true breakdown begins as the cellular damage starts to catch up to the lack of new cell growth. Basically, you decompose from the inside out, starting with bone marrow, then organs, then the vascular system. This is incredibly painful as pain drugs cannot be administered due to failing tissue integrity. Visible symptoms are open, seeping sores, necrosis, eye discoloration, etc. 

They show this on a few patients unflinchingly. Close ups. Full body shots. It's gross and difficult to look at. They are basically melting. Honestly… I stopped wondering why zombies are a thing after I watched this. :(

Spot warnings:

Episode opens back on the divers again, lost in the dark with the dosimeters going ballistic. It's pitched and panicked, but they formulate a plan to handle the situation and succeed in their mission.

Important scream warning: There is a scene that begins with water dripping in the sink. This is followed by a man screaming. The nurses are trying to get the fireman's clothes off and he is shrieking in pain. It's a quick scene but hard to watch. If you're bothered by agonized screaming, cover your ears from the time you see the water dripping until Gorbachev's face appears if you want to avoid. This is probably the worst instance of pain-screams.

After the scene with the miners and the minister, there's another long scene at the hospital. No screaming, but it's the fireman. His condition is clearly deteriorating. Long shots of skin lesions and bandages.

After the "no fans" conversation with the miners we return to the hospital. This time the patient is one of the men from the control room. The one that went down to work on the pumps. He is in severe condition. Eyes are discolored. Skin is swollen and red and shiny. He can barely speak. Again, this is a long scene with lingering shots on his face and body. After he gives his age to the person interviewing him, he gets a nosebleed, which the person cleans up.

After that scene, they transfer the worsening fireman to a critical care ward. His skin is in awful condition. Worse than the patient from the control room. This also has lots of long shots of his symptoms. His face is turning black and necrotic. His skin is pocked with necrosis and looks like it could slide off his bones. For me this was one of the most difficult things to watch, and I actually had to look away. And I pride myself on having a pretty strong stomach.

There's a short scene with Legasov and Shcherbina in their trailer-office, and then… NAKED PEOPLE!!! Naked miners to be precise. Lots of them. Full frontal and everything. It's actually a pretty funny scene… blessedly.

After the scene with the naked miners we go back to the control room operator in the hospital. Then to the other operator's room. We never see the other operator. Just the interviewer's face. Then we go back to the fireman's room briefly.

The episode ends with a funeral, shot to great but incredibly sensitive effect. The firemen are buried in metal coffins, welded shut and covered in concrete.

***

Episode 4 - "The Happiness of All Mankind"

This episode chronicles the efforts of the "Liquidators" who were sent to the surrounds of the plant to raze the forests, turn the turf, and kill all the animals. 

So… blanket statement for lots and LOTS of animal death. We're talking critters wild and domestic alike killed by the truckload and buried in concrete to prevent the spread of radiation. Most of it is offscreen, but the spot warnings will have specific warnings of particularly sad/graphic instances. There are also some scenes of mild radiation sickness symptoms, but they are barely blips on the radar if you've watched his far. Just some vomiting and people looking generally unwell.

There's also a warning for pregnancy and child death, though labor, delivery, and death all happen off screen.

Spot warnings:

First scene is of an old woman milking a cow. There is a soldier trying to evacuate this old woman. She refuses. Then he shoots his gun, and for a moment you're unsure where the bullet landed. Then her cow falls over dead.

The episode is mostly conversations until you see the soldiers and Pavel roll into a neighborhood in a green truck and start pulling out guns. Bacho will give Pavel some instructions (don't let the animals suffer and so forth) and then he whistles for the animals. They come running and they start shooting them. We don't really see anything, but we hear it. Gunfire and some yelping/whimpering. Mostly we're just watching Pavel's reactions. 

When Pavel gets sent to go door to door, he comes across a cream and gray colored dog. This is the worst scene regarding animal cruelty. You will definitely want to look away when Pavel says "Go… go go go away." He shoots the dog, wounds it but doesn't kill it. We see the dog lying in a pool of blood. Pavel is overcome with guilt and approaches. Bacho appears and shoots it to put it out of its misery. It's over when you hear Bacho say "You're dragging that to the truck."

There are brief glimpses of the animal corpses on the truck when the soldiers are having lunch but they're in the distance and out of focus.

If shouting and smashing things in anger is an issue, be warned that when the German robot gets fried on the roof, Shcherbina flips his shit. He calls Moscow and screams at them, ultimately smashing the phone to pieces.

After the discussion of what to do about the roofs after the German robot fails, we go back to Pavel working. He and the soldiers are shooting animals. Again, you don't see the animals. Just hear the shots and the whimpering. But it's short lived. No wails of suffering or anything.

After Bacho tells Pavel to go door-to-door, he goes up to a house and finds a mom-dog with puppies inside. Bacho follows him and when he sees what he found, sends Pavel outside and kills them himself. Again, you just hear the shots and see Pavel's face.

After this, the three soldiers bury the animals. There's a brief image of them being dumped from the truck, and another of them being covered in concrete. 

One of the most pitched and harrowing scenes comes after the General gives a speech about how to clear the graphite off the roof to a new set of recruits. They are in crude lead shielding and rubber suits, they run out onto the roof and use shovels to clear graphite. They are stumbling and struggling, dosimeters going ballistic the entire time. It's incredibly tense. When they are called in, one of the men stumbles and gets caught on a piece of graphite. His boot tears. The scene lasts about 90 seconds.

In the scene that immediately follows, we see the fireman's widow. She picks up a girl's mitten to hand it to her, and she goes into labor.

The final scene of the episode is the labor ward in a hospital. We see the fireman's widow alone behind a partition.

***

Episode 5 - "Vichnaya Pamyat"

This episode is largely concerned with the trial of the plant management which is intercut with flashbacks to the day of the explosion.

There is a good deal of tension as they are showing step by step what went wrong, cutting between the trial testimony and the flashback to the reactor control room. There is a fair amount of arguing and yelling, mostly on Dyatlov's part both at the trial and in the control room. The flashbacks do not go beyond the explosion so there's no scenes of radiation related trauma. 

Spot warnings:

Shcherbina begins having coughing fits during the trial. He later shows Legasov a bloody handkerchief. 

There is a very tense scene with the head of the KGB after the trial is concluded.

Other than that, nothing to speak of.

***

Hope this is helpful! Happy watching, and again, if you have any specific questions, feel free to send me a message or an ask!

[kettlewrites]

my first and last — k.seungmin

   your lover: 『 kim seungmin 』

                            »» pick another path? ««

                        『 song - i’m serious - day6』

»---------2.0K-----------«

you met seungmin on twitter almost four years ago

sept 4th would mark the four years, also known as day6’s debut date where you met a screaming and spazzing seungmin on the blue bird app

you could recall the first time talking to each other like it was just yesterday

day6, jyp’s first actual band had debuted with their song congratulations

you were definitely looking forward to it as you had watched their debut content for a while now and knew you were in for a treat

especially with metaphorically having your bias, jae’s, name tattooed on your forehead with how whipped you were for the tall boy

while watching the music video, you live-tweeted the entire experience

mostly through typos and illegible sentences, but one person who you hadn’t remembered becoming mutuals with could totally understand

and that’s when the first reply that would turn into years of friendships and thousands of back and forth DMs was sent

“@jaeschicken AH HAVE YOU LISTEN TO THE REST OF THE EP I AM IN LOVE”

and that’s when you took it among yourself to send a DM to who you first came to know as minnie

“I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND ME SLIDING INTO YOUR DMS BUT NO I HAVEN’T I JUST WOKE UP TO WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO”

“WELL LISTEN TO IT”

and that’s how you met your best friend with the power of day6 and their amazing music stop sleeping on daysicc

now with almost four years down the line, there wasn’t a day where you went without talking to seungmin

most days you spent talking via many text messages or still screaming at each other over DMs or even just indirecting each other until the other catches on to all lead back to regular ole text messaging

but there were days where you spent talking over the phone, which was spent mainly screaming at the other for almost any reason no matter how small

or it was spent when the other was having an extremely hard time and needed someone to talk to

then there were days where you both facetimed for hours and even fell asleep during calls

with whoever was the first one to wake up screaming at the other to wake up

you just couldn’t imagine a life without your best friend, even if your parents didn’t understand it

which leads to the reason of why your parents didn’t understand it

seungmin was in korea while you weren’t

which lead to misunderstands from both of your parents as to “what if seungmin was an old man trying to kidnap you” or vice versa for his parents about you

they’d never understand

because seungmin was there for you whenever people in real life wasn’t

and even with the hours upon hours of a time difference, the two of you were willing to risk sleep if that meant being able to talk to the other

now.. there was also another problem

about a year ago

after being friends for a solid two years as well

you started developing extremely strong feelings for seungmin

and you really did not know what to do with them

but one day it got to the point where you couldn’t hold them in anymore

and you had to tell him, even if it was in the middle of the night for him and absolutely cliche of you to fall for your best friend

luckily, he felt the exact same way

he laughed at first, which was chaotic because you went through a whirlwind of emotions

was he laughing at your feelings? did he not feel the same? did he think you were stupid for falling in love with a boy you haven’t met who was tens of thousands away from you? but o h god his laugh is amazing. please keep laughing. seungmin i love your laugh why are you doing this to me?

then softly smiled before jutting out a “same”

“same?” you looked confused which probably didn’t reflect well over a terrible webcam

“yeah, same. i’m glad you said something because i was about to go crazy soon.”

“go crazy ahhh go stupid ahhh” shut up vic

“what do you mean?”

he laughs again, “i’ve been dropping hints for so long now y/n!! why did you think i talked about long distance relationships so often? plus i told you to listen to i’m serious so many times i thought it was obvious!”

of course that made you feel like a complete idiot for being so oblivious of his feelings for you too

but he couldn’t say much either since he was just as oblivious

but that made you two go through a rough patch for a quick second

okay. it was only for like a day but after spending two whole years of talking to seungmin everyday it felt like an eternity

“you’re so far away… and we’ve never met either.” you said while sulking, even if he couldn’t see you

“but it’s what the heart wants. we could try visiting whenever we have longer breaks from school. we can make this work if we try. i really like you.”

you didn’t know what to do at first, because you both had valid points

but after spending an entire night tossing and turning while thinking you finally made a choice

what if you missed out on something that could change your life?

you never would know if you didn’t take a risk and try it.

and that’s how you started dating your best friend seungmin

for the first few months was quite difficult due to missing someone you’ve never met and craving for the other person even more now

although seungmin and you worked through it with increasing the amount of video calls and phone calls just to put a temporary fix on the yearning of the other

then it came to the first i love you which although seungmin fighting with you that it wasn’t the first because you both would say it to each other while not dating

“but it is the first because we mean it in a different way now!” you whine with a pout

“well then with your logic, my first i love you was months ago.” he laughs which left you confused

“what do you mean?”

“i said it when you fell asleep over call.”

“you’re such a cliche.”

“says you.”

now after working through your difficulties, seungmin and you were stronger than ever

as lovers and as friends

and you had an even bigger surprise to tell him with your first year anniversary coming up

“hello~ earth to y/n~ will you stop looking at jae pictures and look at your boyfriend while he sings to you?” seungmin pouts, causing your attention to break from your phone

“hey, it wasn’t jae i was looking at.”

“then what was it if it’s not the ‘love of your life’ or not me?”

“just my plane tickets to come see you.” you smile, knowing that the slight lag from your internet connection would delay his reaction

“wait what?”

“seungmin i’m coming to see you,” you giggle while showing your phone to the camera, “i leave in two weeks, right when school lets out.”

now those two weeks to you felt like an eternity because of the amount of excitement you held in your body to finally meet the person who you called your other half

to finally be able to hug him and hold his hand

to finally be able to talk to him in person, face to face and not just through two screens

but they finally came and you were finally on your way to kim seungmin

the flight was long but bearable, probably due to the willpower of “love” helping you not throw yourself off the plane because of crying babies and strangers who didn’t understand the concept of personal space whatsoever

but you lived through it and now you were breathing korean air

you hauled your suitcase behind you as you went through the gates, a soft smile on your tired face after going through an hour of immigration paperwork but again the willpower of love was incredibly strong

after a few minutes of scanning the large airport that was extremely crowded, you finally laid eyes on him

it didn’t feel real

you were in the same room as him, breathing the same air, only a few feet away from each other

you felt the tears streaming down your face as you ran towards him, dropping your suitcase and attacking him with a giant hug

and a kiss, one that was sudden but still melted into a soft and intimate one

your lips completely melting with his and you could feel the surge of sparks flying all throughout your body and veins

you could melt into a puddle right then and there if possible

you were kissing him. you were hugging him.

he was real and he was finally in your arms.

“oh my god.” was the only thing you could say for the next minute while he held you so tightly in his arms

“oh my god this is finally happening.” you cried, leaning your forehead against his shoulder, “i can’t believe this is happening.”

seungmin cupped your face into his hands and raised your head so that you could meet his eyes. he took in every detail of you and couldn’t believe it as well.

“you’re even more perfect in person.” he smiles, causing your heart to swell even more.

“i will have a heart attack from the amount of emotions my heart is going through right now.” you laugh, still crying although now seungmin used his thumbs to wipe your tears away, “you’re taller than i imagined.”

he laughed at your comment, “maybe you’re just shorter than you think you are.”

“ouch.” you teased, now finally calming down and coming back to your senses

after another minute or two of just standing there admiring each other’s presence in real life, the two of you decided it was time to let you get settled and probably get some proper rest

as you laid on the couch in seungmin’s arms with a movie playing softly in the background as the two of you talked, you felt a sense of happiness you never knew you were able to feel

and apparently seungmin could sense that too from his question of why were you smiling so hard

“i just can’t believe i’m right here in your arms. i also can’t stop thinking about how i’m so lucky to have met you and literally met an angel who captured my heart.”

he squeezed you closer to him before pressing a kiss on your forehead, “i’m suppose to say the cheesy things y/n~ but i feel the exact same.”

“i love you seungmin.” you say with a yawn while cuddling into his chest

“i love you so much more.” he whispers as he runs his fingers through your hair, “and i’m so glad to have met you.”

and you felt asleep in complete bliss and happiness

finally meeting your first love and finally being able to close the distance of thousands of miles between the two of you

and this was all thanks to a band who the two of you were going to go see in concert

but shh seungmin hasn’t told you yet but he knows you’ll be so over the moon because he is too

[bthump]

what are the things you like and dislike about the '97 anime and the films?

ty for asking, i’m just gonna write a few long lists lol

97 anime likes:

the animation, including the like, yk the more detailed stills they pan over in place of action or to punctuate important moments, i love it

the gorgeous backgrounds

most of the colour choices. red eclipse, femto’s blue eyes, casca’s skintone, griffith’s mauve clothes, etc.

how close it is to the manga. like, it’s a solid adaption just by virtue of making very few changes.

so like, most of it really, because i like the manga

special mention to the entire lead up to the eclipse from griffith’s reality break to the sacrifice tho, because i think that was all pretty damn perfect. it’s the most important scene and they did it right.

actually also shout out to casca’s flashback to griffith and the dead kid, gennon, the river scene, all that. another difficult v emotional sequence that they nailed imo.

griffith thinking about how he “loves” guts during the monologue

skipped most of the griffith/charlotte sex scene iirc which i approve of

the glimpse of black swordsman guts in ep 1. it’s not perfect but it’s way better than the ovas starting w/ 15 yr old guts

the opening and closing themes. fucking love both songs ngl

also the opening monologue. never get tired of hearing it

the score

the portrayal of griffith was honestly pretty solid imo. i have very few issues there. and lbr that’s important lol

97 anime dislikes:

not a big fan of griffith or guts’ character designs.

just about everything that isn’t identical to the manga is a change for the worse

turned griffith’s scratch marks into that giant unexplained scar

adding extra scenes where casca is secretly impressed with guts’ skills in battle in an attempt to build up their relationship better, which instead just made casca look unfair for still being a dick to him for 3 years and made guts stupidly gary stu-ish

obviously the straightforwardly romantic portrayal of guts and casca’s relationship

through several seemingly minor changes (eg, skipping guts’ night of self-doubt after he leaves, giving guts’ stay with godo its own half-episode, making guts inviting casca along super romantic rather than the incredibly casual and assholish way he does it in the manga, etc) it makes Guts’ dream seem legitimately noble and worthwhile, with none of the like… implicit critique the manga has. like honestly it completely fucks up what i consider one of the central themes of the story lol

the pre eclipse stuff also fails to sell guts’ sense of regret - through things like playing guts’ theme while judeau is telling guts to leave, not repeating guts’ statement of regret after casca tells him to leave again, the tone remains consistently in favour of guts’ dream. wrong and bad.

like it really reads like the suggested tragedy is that guts doesn’t get the chance to ditch griffith with judeau and take off with casca and the raiders lol

also fucks it up by never directly mentioning guts’ csa trauma

also fucks it up by losing guts’ self-destructive single-minded urge to fight monsters that we saw thru the wyald stuff. i’m not gonna say that losing wyald was a bad decision, but they should’ve at least moved erika suggesting that guts just wants to fight zodd again to the fucking waterfall scene in question, which they portrayed completely sans zodd discussion, completely sans implication of the self-destructiveness of guts’ dream

like in the manga he nearly gets killed by the falling logs and just laughs it off like a dumbass while erika is concerned and suggests that guts is driven by something irrational and not actually a ~noble~ dream, ie, wanting to fight zodd again (ie, going deeper, his csa trauma), while in the anime we get a 2nd scene where he successfully slices through the logs as a super basic symbol of growth and a narrative pat on guts’ back that shouldn’t be there!

honestly just fucking everything about the portrayal of guts’ dream lol it just takes it at face value in a way the manga consistently never did and always undermined and critiqued, and it bugs the hell out of me.

guts is just drawn in a way that makes him look angry way too often and he often feels ooc to me bc of it. like he lacks a lot of the warmth he has in the manga imo

showing that griffith is awake when guts says “i’ll stay too” even tho in the manga those words are placed over a panel of him asleep for a reason like, ffs

lots of other random nitpicky details that only i give a fuck about because my opinions and feelings about the story are too strong lol. like not showing griffith’s face when he asks if guts thinks he’s cruel

oh huge one: moving the scene where the torturer rips off griffith’s behelit from about a day after he was imprisoned to right before his rescue. completely trivializes griffith’s torture because it still looks like he’s been in there for a day at most

why on earth did it end where it ended????????????? who’s bright idea was that? the perfect ending is skull knight riding tf out with guts and casca and femto not killing them, but then they also cut out skull knight’s first appearance so idfk man.

oh some downplaying of griffguts, like i can’t complain too much about this because it was still p homoerotic, but things like omitting guts assuming griffith wants to fuck him right before their first duel. boo.

ultimately at the end of the day as much as i do genuinely like the anime, it’s not telling quite the same story the manga was - the story it’s telling is more boring and basic. but because it sticks so close to the manga the good story still shines through? it just means there’s inconsistent tone choices and stuff, like the aforementioned grievances.

it’s like, they kept casca’s diatribe at guts line for line while she’s screaming that griffith needed him and a man can’t live on dreams alone, but they don’t extend that train of thought to guts going off to pursue his dream, while the manga does.

anyway despite that giant list of dislikes i still think the anime is pretty fantastic overall. i just also like, blame it for a lot of wrong fandom takes lol.

movie likes:

character designs! honestly imo everyone looked pretty great.

they played up the homoeroticism and i appreciate that

illustrating griffith being torn between guts and his dream through that lovely moment when he catches guts when he nearly falls off the stairs right before he catches charlotte, and in a more romantically suggestive way

the whole scene where griffith shows up at charlotte’s window thoroughly improved on the manga, so hats off there. loved how completely out of it he was to the point where he barely realized where he was and immediately turned to leave when charlotte was like ‘woah dude wtf,’ love that charlotte was the one to ask him to stay and then physically move his hand back to her tit, love how emphatically griffith was thinking about guts during that sex scene, etc. like it’s still not perfect, but it is a vast improvement.

griffith showing up in person after the hundred man fight was a nice touch

it was cool that they got a lot of the same english vas from the anime dub back, and they all did a gr8 job. like it’s a pretty good dub imo.

i liked that they moved ‘the crystalization of your last tear shed’ to after guts’ post-eclipse breakdown

compared to the anime at least gtsca was more low-key and chill rather than dramatically romantic. still don’t want it there, and still not as… unromantic as the manga, but i’ll take what i can get

the animation during griffith’s transformation into femto, yk that whole sequence, was cool

slan’s english voice was super sexy

ummmmm i feel like they conveyed the whole dreams are stupid theme, and guts’ decision to leave being a mistake, better than the anime? like i got the sense that the ova ppl recognized that was a theme, at least. i’d have to watch them again to really be sure of that tho

movie dislikes:

GRIFFITH’S. NARRATIVE.

like holy fuck they completely destroyed his character lmao

i cannot believe

no backstory! no tombstone of flame! no ‘do you think i’m cruel?’ THAT WAS THE REASON HE MADE THE SACRIFICE FFS HOW DO YOU SKIP IT????

no dead kid angst, gennon only in vague implication, no self harm - oh no wait we saw self inflicted scratches, they were just completely contextless and meaningless to the point where we could assume charlotte’s nails made them

no torture chamber monologue

no guts monologue in the tavern either for that matter

no rooftop scene

again barely the implication of guts’ childhood trauma, both the sexual abuse and the general parental abuse. one vague flashbacky nightmare doesn’t cut it, it’s the cornerstone of the story

like i get it, it’s a movie trilogy, you have to cut some things, but goddamn, cut out gtsca. trim the hundred man fight. add 20 minutes to the first ova and take the insanely long rape scene out of the third. trim down the whole eclipse sequence. don’t cut out like… the story. like they cut out SO MANY emotionally relevant scenes and kept so many much less relevant scenes, idek.

and like let’s be real here, they turned griffith from an immensely interesting and complex character into a 1 dimensional dude who is torn between a vaguely evil ambition and being in vaguely evil love with guts, just for the sake of streamlining the least interesting aspects of the story

they don’t even try to pretend otherwise lol, look at his fucking hilarious evil smile here

also while i’m looking at it, in general i think they failed at the whole eclipse sequence. looks, lighting, colour, build up of tension… there are a few minor improvements here and there (eg casca’s point of view shot of femto, femto telekinesising guts back a la the black swordsman arc which emphasizes his failure to act when he escapes), but overall it doesn’t work for me at all. like imo the anime has the exact same highs and lows as the manga, but while the ova avoids some lows it never reaches those highs.

they also had griffith overhear guts saying he wants to stay. i really don’t get why this happened twice lol, like… ok his face is kind of shadowed here but he’s still very clearly asleep? this is an important detail, guts’ interrupted words are even on that very panel, so why would you go out of your way to show that he’s awake and listening at that point.

the pacing sucked. 3rd movie was too long, 1st was too short, and they skipped waaaaaay too many significant scenes that should’ve been there as emotional beats

honestly the movies are pretty, they’re nicely fanservicey in ways, they capture some good subtleties and nuances at times, but they’re a husk of the story

oh did i mention the music during the eclipse rape? incredible.

also i am actually generally positive about the movies too despite what it seems like here lmao. i’ve watched them all like, 3 or more times and i find them v enjoyable.

i just have a way easier time listing nitpicky flaws than positives honestly. the flaws stand out to me, the virtues pass me by because i’m just enjoying them and not dwelling on them

and lbr here at the end of the day no adaption will ever really satisfy me unless i somehow find several million dollars lying around and make my own lol. and that would probably be a flop anyway.

[todaysbiggesthits]

The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2018:

Nasty: Hearing Red Eyes live. I've already said it on TBH, but seeing your favorite band in their relative prime is such a cool thing. 

BC: Since partying all night with my favorite band fell within the short window between Bestuv '17 ending and Bestuv '18 beginning, I'd have to say:

1. Kacey Musgrave's performance of "Slow Burn" on SNL

2. Radiohead perfectly executing "There There" which transported me back to Lollapalooza in '08 3. Despite the annoyance of sitting in lots of Indy500 traffic due to a new parking situation, I quite enjoyed working through half of the Stones' catalogue with Bronco riding shotgun and Codemin listening in from the flatbed of Dillon's pickup

Codem: Spending what was New Year's Eve for the central timezone in the USA at a Fijian medical bath facility listening to music, playing cards, downing tequeel and getting ringworm with my blushing bride. -hearing peter hook play the bass line from shadowplay live and in person. -Arden, JD and JJ encouraging me to go talk to Kyle from Swearin'. -Silver Jews and Westing (By Musket and Sextant) came to Spotify. -Watching "Random Rules" video for the first time

Larse: Sitting behind this massive (I mean orca fat) guy at the CHVRCHES show, feeling really bad for him before the show started because he was all alone and kept looking around and worrying about letting people in his row and things. As soon as CHVRCHES came on though, this guy was exactly where he was supposed to be that night. Sang the words and danced to every song and just made my day with how happy he was to be there. Jotted down every song of the setlist into his smartphone and just had an all around great time. And some of you motherfuckers won't even go to a movie by yourself!

JD: May: A moody Chinatown stroll with the new Grouper album in the rain. July: Soaking up some good tunes at the housewarming party to ring in our new pad. July: Some hilariously rambunctious youths having at it when “House of Jealous Lovers” came on during a full play of Compilation 1 at the DFA summer party. One of them (who must have been ~8 in the bygone days of 02) screamed out “this is the song that started it all!” to a crowd of stationary gawkers and I felt a brief moment of hope for the youngs. August: Shaking a leg at Pete’s wedding (also featuring a delightful hojl spin). September: A rowdy spin of “Sentient Oona” on the Levee juke with an impromptu digital jukebox dance party at the Turkey’s Nest with jj’s cousin and his lovely girlfriend. October: The best music cue I’ve ever seen at the end of Beau Travail.

Bronco: Taking John to his first concert, and that first concert was Mastodon. That was pretty awesome to be able to share that experience with him. He was super into it, and so were the metalheads at the show. "Dad of the Year" was definitely shouted more than a few times, and I thought to myself, "fuckin-A right."

Chap: My kids saying "Papa" when "She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals comes on.

Best Shows Seen in 2018:

C: Open Mike Eagle at Pitchfork

Bronco: Sleep

Laser: CHVRCHES at Riverside Theater; Chromeo at Summerfest

BC: The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Radiohead

Nasty: The War on Drugs. 

Code: kraus - schubas peter hook - metro no age - the bottle swearin' - bowery eleanor friedberger - lincoln hall my bloody valentine - aragon "quickly climbing the ranks of my nice" ballroom kraus - the bottle pictureplane - bottom lounge soft moon - the bottle book of love - chop shop

JD: 1. Shame at Market Hotel 2. Hamilton Leithauser at the Carlyle Hotel 3. Beach House at United Palace Theater 4. The Voidz at Elsewhere 5. Parquet Courts’ Wide Awake! mid-day album release show with my morning coffee at Rough Trade

6. Flasher at St. Vitus 7. Deafheaven at Brooklyn Steel 8. Panda Bear at Brooklyn Steel 9. No Age at Brooklyn Bazaar 10. CCFX at the DFA summer party at Elsewhere with my girlfriend in full blown rem sleep standing up with her head on my shoulder 11. Alex Cameron at Warsaw 12. Gang Gang Dance and Interpol at House of Vans Of note: Dekkar at On Cinema Live at the Bell House.

Confession of 2018:

JD: I have a real TBH confession that I held until now. I was thoroughly enjoying the Flasher album on a recent evening after a few too many drinks when a burning urge to see them washed over me. They had a show coming up at a bar just a few blocks from my apartment, so I enthusiastically snapped up tickets for me and jj. Thinking this might be a good opportunity for a TBH outing, I emailed Chap trying to peer pressure him into attending the Flasher show and gauging his interest in a Parquet Courts concert that would be happening the following evening. No response.

We later received an invitation to a holiday cocktail party at a friend’s apartment on the same night as the Flasher show, and I hatched a cockamamie scheme to go from our home in Greenpoint to the party in Soho, leave after an hour to catch the concert back in Greenpoint, head back to the party in Soho, and finally retire back to Greenpoint. JJ wisely passed on such a scheme and I left the party to trek off to the concert solo with an extra ticket in tow. 

Awash in good cheer and excitement while Flasher set up, I thought what the hell, might as well take a flier on reminding Chap of the show. Maybe the twins are asleep, he’s just sitting around, can jump into a cab, claim the extra ticket, watch the show, and cruise on back. Mid-text I paused, wondering just why he never responded to the initial email weeks ago. A quick gmail search, and there sat my drunkenly composed beseechment to join, rotting in the drafts folder unsent. 

A couple of the dudes from Parquet Courts were bouncing around the bar, and I decided it would make more sense to hit up Chap about attending their show the next day than explain the whole snafu and extend a ludicrous invitation that required dropping everything and leaving immediately for a show he didn’t even know was happening. I ate the extra ticket, had a blast watching Flasher, zipped back to the party, drank myself into oblivion, and was way too hung over to even consider the Parquet Courts show the next day. NICK SORRY NICK! (editor’s note: too long)

Larson: I saw Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

BC: My neighbor invited me to see Imagine Dragons. I lied and said I had to travel for work. "On a Saturdee?" he inquired. "Yeah. Totally sucks," I awkwardly replied. I hid inside my house all weekend.

Bronco: I'd rather see shows by myself than with my buddy. He likes going to shows, and I keep inviting him, and we have a fine time, but he doesn't live in town anymore, so I gotta worry about him drinking too much and driving an hour home. And his wife is a psychopath and that complicates shit. Too much. And it's just so much more freeing being able to not give a fuck about anyone else during that time, to just soak it all in, it feels good and right.

Codem: -despite all of the bad things that kanye said, i still liked listening to his catalogue throughout the year. i even liked his EP that came out in 2018.   -i really liked the beach house album!   -i liked the snail mail album, skipped two opportunities to see her and then by --the end of the year, i thought the album was sort of boring.   -Arden and i went to see pictureplane open for alice glass and thought that the show sucked and pictureplane played such stupid songs. three months later, he put out my favorite album of the year and i can't stop thinking that i hated all of the same songs the first time i heard them. -i read an article on a bright fall saturday morning that exhaustively detailed the Cardi B and Nicki Minaj feud and i watched all of the instagram story clips that showed Cardi B scrolling through her phone with those outlandish nails of hers. it took me two cups of coffee to get through it all, but get through it i did. [i couldn't think of nicki minaj's name just now so i stared at the ceiling and kept running through names in my mind's eye: missy, kim, cardi, kelis, kim??, eve, trina. i couldn't remember. so i finally googled "kanye monster" and found her name. easy.]

Nasty: I'm done with new music. It’s over. I didn't listen to a single new album - I don't even know if I could name a new album. Realistically, I did like Daytona. 

Biggest Disappointment of 2018:

Nasty: MAGA Kanye

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Bronco: Black Tusk, Alice in Chains

BC: Getting into The Orwells literally two days before #MeToo chewed 'em up and spit 'em out

Chap: Car Seat Headrest. Can't believe he's gay! jk the album was the disappointment.

Code: -somebody hacked my spotify account and wiped all of my music and replaced it with raggaeton and halsey. i was able to get my music back, but i lost all of my meticulously cared for folder structure. -i wanted the simple minds album to be cool; it was not.   -i wanted the swearin' album to be really great; it was okay. -pictureplane and ovlov did not tour their albums.   -i had to eat two tickets to my bloody valentine after buying four. the original show sold out and i thought i was going to be able to sell my extras for a profit -- they ended up announcing a second show and there was no secondary market for the original show.   -no CCFX followup ):  

JD: Got to Hammerstein Ballroom for MBV and there was a line longer than an entire avenue. They were already on by the time we made it into the heinously oversold venue and we were stuck by the bar in the lobby surrounded by people constantly shouting in an effort to compete with the apocalyptic noise.

C: Terrible sound at Tame Impala show

Most Overrated of 2018:

Code: -probably that kacey musgraves album; i got absolutely nothing out of it. also, i liked the robyn album, but i wanted to love it after many years between releases. i think i'm just being greedy.   -i'm going to get killed for this, but the throwing the baby out with the bathwater approach to artists' criminal behavior or inflammatory tweets is pretty overrated right now. 

Bronco: Ghost - I like their schtick, with rotating members and the whole inverted church thing. It's campy but they're sticking to it, and that's fine, but their music isn't metal. It's poppy glam shit about the devil, and that's also fine, but I don't get why it's on anyone's list. Production value maybe? But the music itself isn't anything to write home about. I just don't get it.

JD: n/a. The thick layer of nonsensical, Pynchonian obfuscation the platform economy dollops over everything has made it impossible to understand how anything is rated. Almost feel bad for the click driven publications that have to just throw out a guess.

C: Mitski

Chap: Snail Mail

BC: Kanye. His new music is no longer good enough to put up with his bufoonery.

Laser: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Nasty: Clemson. GOARSH. 

Make It Stop 2018:

Nasty: DJT, anytime now. 

Bronco: Party politics. No more labels allowed. You can have a list of stuff you support and a list of stuff you are against, but that's fucking it. No more this side vs that side for reasons as caddy as an R vs. a D. Also religion having any influence whatsoever in the way our country is run. Believe whatever you want to believe, but don't force your bullshit on anyone else. You want to torment yourself with a lifelong christian guilt trip, that's your boat to float, but don't go poking holes in my boat just because you're a miserable fuck. Just stop. Also, Jack White.

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Chap: Baby Shark

BC: My shrinking attention span

JD: The cultural currency of clapbacks, shade, and tea.

Code: trap music playing from a phone's external speaker while i'm trapped on public transportation.  i'm going to go broke buying enough earbuds to distribute to these offenders.

Biggest TBH Regret of 2018:

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

C: Not seeing Low at a church on University of Chicago's Campus

JD: -Hearing about a Grouper show at a church around the corner from my pad after it sold out. -Not necessarily a regret because I didn’t know it was happening, but oh how I wish I had seen Jon Glaser and Jon Benjamin as Dave Farina and Dave Franz, Dennis and Dennis’ sons, at a Bowery Ballroom Yo La Tengo show.

BC: -I wish I would've cooked up a way to see Shame play a midnight show in Bloomington.  I just want that kid to scream "Concrete" in my face. -I probably should've seen Smashing Pumpkins when they rolled through town too. 

Code: my flight got delayed and i missed the swearin' show at that place in brooklyn that "smelled like hot fish"

Bronco: Not a regret so much as I was super-bummed when High on Fire dropped out of the tour I saw in November. The venue we were at put my buddy and I right next to the stage. It would've been crazy awesome to see HOF there, but they've rescheduled at least, and I'll see them in January.

Bin: I haven't listened to any Kanye this year. I thought it would feel gratifying by year end - it doesn't. I'll probably still avoid this most recent album, but I'm going back to the well. I'll continue to talk shit about him though. Take that Ye!

Chap: No regrets 

Detective Murtaugh of 2018:

Larse: Getting too old to keep up with all of this new music and put a worthwhile list together at the end of the year…

Nasty:

Code: i added book of love show to my top ten concert list because Arden and i were able to take a seat on the ground in the balcony section. we had to continually move our spot on the floor to be able to peer through the railing and a mass of bodies in order to catch a glimpse of the stage.

JD: -Two of my favorite music related experiences of the year were seeing Hamilton Leithauser in the cafe of the Carlyle Hotel and the extended Niles family in The Nutcracker at the NYC Ballet. -When I googled “Detective Murtaugh” just now it was mostly pictures of Damon Wayans (Jr. no less!) playing the role on the Lethal Weapon CBS series.

Bronco: Putting up with shit instead of speaking up about it. There's room on the train but I'm squished by the door because some self-absorbed dinks won't move in? "Could you please move in?" It sounds so simple, but breaking that silence barrier was a scary thing. Now I don't give a shit. I'm on train for two stops, and I'm not going to see you again, so fuck you, move in or I'm going to move myself in and it aint gonna be pleasant for you.

Chap: A hipster female barber said I was a silver fox. AYFKM?

BC: What the hell is Fortnite?

Resolution for 2018 Update:

Larse: get my list in on time! How it went: probably horseshit! (editor’s note: it was early yet!)

NACK: While I didn’t have the occasion to catch shows this year, I anticipate doing so in '18 due to some changes afoot. How it went: Joe Dons has yet to let me know of a concert going on and I have no other friends here, so I blame him for my failure

Bin: I’m just going to keep saying “get to NY for a show with JD” until I make it happen. How it went: Didn't get to NY for a show with JD.

JD: See you gents more often with or without a show attached.  How it went: Fairly decent, but is it really ever enough?

Bronco: Get in shape. I want to stick to a schedule of running all year round. I ran a 10K back in June, then needed to recover for a bit, been recovering ever since…Fat Dad needs to keep running all year round without excuse, especially given that we go skiing between Xmas and New Year’s and I’m gonna be a floppy legged mess. During those runs, I’ll try to listen to new material each time. How it went: I ran a 5-miler in May. Haven't run since. Though I have been reasonably consistent with my prison workout (situps and pushups before bed time), so now there's a hint of muscle under my fat dad layer. Just gotta combine the two now somehow.

Code: make more playlists for my wife How it went: i said that i was going to make more mixes for my wife. i made one year-end mix for her and i'm sure she's loving it :*

BC: No more resolutions How it went: 2018 Resolution was "No More Resolutions," so pretty darn good!

Resolution for 2019:

Laser: ---

BC: Listen to one new album a week; reboot the Classic Album Review Club

JD: Greater consciousness of how I’m using my attention - an ineffectual and meaningless protest of the ways the world is burning down in pursuit of it.

Bronco: Read more 'classic' books. I didn't read many of them, even in school (especially in school? Never could read a book I was told to read). But I'm leaning in the sci-fi direction of 'classics'. I just read Dune this summer, and wrapped up Fahrenheit 451 the other day. I'm feeling an unexplained need to beef up my nerd credentials and this seems the way to accomplish it.

Chap: Learn Piano; Guilt Joe Dons into finally inviting me to a concert

Nasty: I'm sticking with it - get to NY for a show with JD.

Code: catch ovlov, pictureplane, washer, chromatics, EMA and colleen green live this year.

Most Anticipated of 2019:

Bronco: Tool. Fifth year's the charm. I'm actually hopeful this time around. In fact, I half expect them to drop it on New Year's Eve or something, just so it's post Listicle season, but not quite 2019 so it can't end up on those lists either. They're such dicks like that.

BC: Still waitin' on dat Vampire Weekend yet

Chap: Vampire Weekend, Chromatics

C: Lin Manuel in Mary Poppins... I kid, My Bloody Valentine

JD: Going to put Frank Ocean out into the universe, MBV take 2, Grimes, Panda Bear, Kanye’s escape from the Black Lodge

Codem: chromatics - tommy, MBV, washer, colleen green, EMA(?), DoM

Laser: no idea what's even on the docket

Nasty: Mueller's Report

[snkpolls]

SnK S3E06 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 490 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that this is the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

NOTE: Another week, a few more mess ups and overlooked things. Upon realizing that we are rushing ourselves a bit too much and the poll dropping in quality is the unfortunate side effect, we will be moving the poll to Tuesdays from this point forward. This will allow us more time to see what others are discussing, think up questions, make sure we’ve touched on all of the important points, and to proofread more thoroughly before publishing. Thank you for being patient with us throughout this whole process! We apologize for our mess ups over the last couple of weeks.

RATE THE EPISODE 478 Responses

Overall the episode got high rankings and positive reviews!

I loved it, just wish they had given the Grisha vs Frieda segment more time and fully animated it rather than show it in flashes and stills. Though it wouldn't surprise me if they do later when we get his full story.

It was awesome! I'm starting to enjoy this season more with each episode. I'm hyped for the action next episode.

the best episode so far

Once the uprising arc is done, this episode will definitely be included in my favorite episodes list.

I was skeptical at first of the changes they were making to Frieda's foreshadowing, but the sequencing of events in the episode made up for it! Everything flowed so smoothly, from Eren's memories to Historia's, introducing the concept of mindwipe immunity followed immediately by Kenny's old talk with his grandpa. Each point led right into the next.

This week's episode felt almost slow with the way it ended. I'm not complaining, although I feel the sting of all those missed moments that got cut off prior to this.

This episode was freaking awesome. I keep replaying the scene where Eren sees Grisha's memories. The whole sequence and the OST is amazing!!

When it comes to rating these last few eps, I keep second-guessing myself on how to rate them. On the one hand, they've been fairly faithful to the manga and the animation, as always, has been top notch. So in that aspect they are good and deserve a high rating. It's just that the Uprising arc is so incredibly dull to me, that I am also not exactly excited about these eps and probably will skip all of them on future rewatches. But the anime is not to blame for that.  ¯\_㋡_/¯

ep of the season so far

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SCENES DID YOU ENJOY THE MOST? 485 Responses

Eren unlocking Grisha’s memories was the big moment of the episode, winning the majority vote. Followed closely is Historia unlocking her memories of Frieda, Rod’s retelling of Grisha’s attack and Kenny’s flashback to his talk with his grandpa.

I also enjoyed the Ackerman talk, it gives more significance to what’s to come in the future

OPENING SCENE WAS BOMB

I absolutely love Frieda! She was the greatest sister ever. Too bad she had to die so young. I liked her voice as well :) The scene with her and Historia symbolized peace, love and happiness, while the scenes in the crystal cave symbolized pain and sorrow. I liked that.

KENNYKENNYKENNYKENNYKENNY

Is it weird that I liked the Zacklay part more than the flashback? C:

My fav scene was when Mikasa and Levi were talking about Mikasa's past and their awaking of power

Really liked the focus on each character when Levi asked them if they were ready to get their hands dirty. They looked resolved.

The Ackertalk!!!!!!!!

ON A SCALE OF “I’D RATHER IT WAS DIFFERENT” TO “SAWANO IS A GENIUS!” HOW MUCH HAVE YOU BEEN ENJOYING THE SOUNDTRACK TO THE SEASON SO FAR? 482 Responses

As expected of Sawano! The majority of respondents are enjoying the music this season. A few think the picks could be better, however.

The OST in this season has been awesome.

To the music part: I haven't found a track that really stands out, I want something as good as youseebigttgirl

WHAT IS YOUR REACTION TO EREN’S MEMORY SEQUENCE? 477 Responses

The majority of respondents were overall pleased with the way that Eren’s flashes of the altercation in the cave went down. A few would rather it have been different.

Frieda was beautiful and that's all I care about

I love the way wit did Eren's eyes during the flashback sequence. Honestly it made me feel more like dead

I loved it, some amazing voice acting with Erens scream at the end

While the fast flashes made total sense to me as a narrative choice I would have personally liked it better if it was Slower

Great paths depiction, mindblowing OST, not biggest fan of how they presented goblin Eren in just two still images

Pretty awesome. I don't like how Frieda's titan looks however, I thought that the manga design gave off a far more divine and powerful aura than the anime one, which honestly just looks like a regular titan with different eyes.

The P A T H S visuals were beautiful but I feel like the flashbacks themselves could have been done better. The RIP Grisha scene was practically still images when it could have been one of the most visceral and intense moments in the series. Idk I just found the flashbacks themselves very underwhelming

openly sobbing

Eren’s shocked expression while seeing those memories/listening to rod talk makes me feel bad for him all over again, but WIT also gave a lot of shots of his abs and back muscles *-* like, idk if I wanna hug him or fuck him

could've been much better. kid Eren screaming after realizing he ate his dad was heartbreaking though

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE MECHANICS OF ZACKLEY’S “ART”? 479 Responses

It goes without saying that most respondents were put off by Zackley’s torture device, although there’s a sizable amount who did find it amusing. Generally speaking, most fans aren’t happy about the scene being included overall.

AoT will end, but Art will last forever

I HATE THE SHIT MACHINE!!!!!!

I cant believe we got the shit machine! Art is still alive!

I feel kinda tired of the whole shitmachine stuff. What is so special about some old, fat, ugly, nude, sweating dude who was forced to drink own piss? Why so many fans is obsessed with it? The episode had so many great moments - but almost everything I'm actually hearing about it this dumb shitbitchmachine.

I still fail to see what that machine added to this part of the story....

HOW DADDY IS ERWIN’S NEW HAIRDO? 480 Responses

Although there were mixed responses, overall the fandom is digging the new hairdo. Many even think Commander Handsome is looking even more dashing than before! ;)

Can we get more scenes with Erwin being Commander Handsome?

Erwin looks much younger now on my opinion XD

OMG ERWIIIIIIIIIN SO HOT

GRISHA’S EYES WERE GLOWING GREEN BEFORE HE ATE FRIEDA, AND THEY STARTED GLOWING PURPLE AFTERWARDS. DO YOU THINK THIS HAS ANY MEANING? 481 Responses

The overwhelming majority believe that the glowing eyes do have significant meaning. We covered this concept in more detail a few questions down!

Erens attack Titans eyes glow green too, I think it's just for effects

Yes, Frieda was not tasty and Grisha's stomach hort a lot after eating her

I didn't even noticed XD But I'm not sure if it has any meaning

Super saiyan

Frieda's eyes were purple during her Titan transformation. Grisha's eyes changing to the same colour after he ate Frieda, meant that he gained the Founding Titan power, gained Frieda's memories and the memories of the previous Founding Titan holders.

It could hardly be a slip of the hand in the animation department. They did it for a reason

The purple is the same as Frieda's Titan so it's likely because he came in contact with a Titan with Royal Blood and that changed his Titan's eye color

it's his magical girl transformation

WHICH TITAN WORE THEIR CHEST HAIR BETTER? 478 Responses

This was a close one! But ultimately Grisha inched just a few percentage points above Zeke. The commentary also reflects this and, frankly, we are a bit concerned. Are you guys okay?

Gaston ain't got nothing on Grisha Titan's chest hair.

Grisha's titan can spank me

Titan Grisha can mount me anytime.

WHEN FRIEDA READS HISTORIA THE FAIRY TALE, THE “GOOD GIRL” CHARACTER IS NAMED KRISTA. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS ADDITION?  478 Responses

It was a close split between excitement over seeing (or rather, being reminded) how Historia got the name “Krista” for her persona  and those who are questioning the validity of the name in the book. We also received plenty of snarky reminders that we overlooked the detail of this being mentioned in chapter 51. Perhaps it’s time for us to take a week off!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I love how they’re differentiating the Marleyan legend from the Eldian one

I thought I was supposed to be Ymir, but I think it’s a really interesting addition to how Historia got the name Krista.

Since we know Rod gave her the name Krista, it felt kinda irrelevant. It also somehow implies that Krista's personality is the result of what remained in Historia's head from Frieda's preaching which I don't think was necessary to justify at all. Historia could've chosen to be the kind of girl Krista is by herself.

I love how, as time passed and memories changes, Ymir Fritz became Krista Lenz. And so, both Ymir and Historia got named by someone else after the same person. I love it.

It's not really an addition since her name appeared in the manga (at the beginning of chapter 51 when Historia goes crazy)

It did make things pretty confusing. I think that the government could've entirely changed the story of Ymir and the titan's and renamed Ymir in the books, and that's why she is now called Christa.

On one hand I think it's appropriate because the Reiss family didn't want Historia to know the Eldian history, yet I think the specific name of Krista wasn't a great decision because as I remember it, Rod was the one who made Historia take on the name Krista, so to suggest that Historia chose it because of that story is inconsistent.

‪Historia did say Krista was “a girl from a book she read as a child” in chapter 51, but learning in chapter 86 that the girl is Ymir Fritz led some people to believe that, back then, Historia was referring only to the girl's personality and not her name. The anime just clarified that in Frieda's book she is indeed named Krista, perhaps suggesting the story has different versions in Marley/the world and Paradis.‬

IT’S CONFIRMED THAT GRISHA’S AND FRIEDA’S TITANS HAD GLOWING EYES, SIMILAR TO THE PURE TITANS THAT THE COORDINATE CONTROLLED, DO YOU THINK THIS RELATES TO EREN’S EYES GLOWING IN LIBERIO? 466 Responses

As reflected above, most respondents believe that the glowing eyes do bear significance. 41% of voters believe that it’s indicative of the power of the titan taking over its host, while 32% believe the significance is something else. 16% of voters think it’s simply just a cool aesthetic effect. 

I don't understand anything any more

Woah I've not thought about that enough to give an answer!!

I have no fucking clue, this stuff is confusing.

I honestly just think those titans happen to have glowing eyes. Nothing more.

WHICH TRANSITION DID YOU LIKE BETTER? 479 Responses

70% loved the transition of Kenny looking into the knife and revealing his younger self. 

I truly love Kenny <3

Kenny is beautiful and the transition from younger to older Kenny in the reflection of his knife was my absolute favorite part of the entire episode.

Kenny was a highlight in this episode once again, I especially loved the flashback scene with him and grandpa Ackerman talking about family history after Levi and Mikasa's Ackertalk. The transition back to Levi was really unsubtle, though.

WHICH PV SCENE ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO THE MOST? 482 Responses

Generally, the majority are most looking forward to the showdown between Squad Levi/Hange vs. the Interior MP Squad. About 31% of voters altogether are looking forward more to more Jaeger/Reiss focus, however! 

Can I vote again for Hange is a BAMF?

i honestly don't care at all about the interior MP v.s squad levi fight. I just wanna get back to the reiss/jaeger action

Give me Levi yelling Hange's name or give me DEATH

can't wait for the next episode and the showdown!!!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Finally we arrived to my favorite part of this arc. Even though it doesn't have that much action as the other seasons, this is the part I love the most. Knowing how Eren got the Attack AND the Founding titans, Historia becoming the rightful queen of the walls, Levi's backstory, Kenny's dream and his friendship with Rod Reiss' brother, learning that there's a world outside of the walls by Keith Shadis; all of this until the fight against the collosal and armored titans back in Shignashina district and everybody discovering the sea.

Now I finally understand why Kenny killed so many MP officers. I used to believe he had done that for fun. Now I know he did that to protect his family. I really enjoyed the moments between him and his grandpa - it made me to feel how important the bloodline was for him.

I'm a bit disappointed that they made Frieda's titan hair black, I was hoping for it to be a lighter colour, and I preferred the lighter hair a bit more. But overall her titan form was pretty cool!

They left out the part where Kenny tells Rod he is looking for a bathroom because he has to go #2! ಠ_ಠ How could they skip that after they included the whole poop machine scene?! I also wasn’t sure how I felt about the girl being named Krista in the book being read to Historia. I thought that was supposed to be Ymir. Otherwise, the episode was superb.

Erwin is my husband and I love it when he goes into Commander Mode™. Also so not ready for more information about Levi’s childhood, and yet also I need to see Little Levi™ at the same time

FRIEDA WAS GREAT

Now that two big plot points are over (the overthrowing of the government and Grisha’s deed) and another one is under way, I can say this season is so underwhelming compared to the manga. There is no suspense, no feeling of satisfaction, no tension, because they cut too many parts in the beginning that hinted at future events (eren’s experiments for examples) and simplified characters’ moral struggles that i think are understandable only to us manga readers because “we know”. I think, for a story (the one of uprising) that relied on suspense so much, this lighting-fast, confusing pace just made every victory totally underwhelming. I’m left with a feeling of “oh...okay” and i am hating it because the Uprising Arc is my favorite manga Arc.

With this episode I'm back to being sad about how coldly Erwin is portrayed again, but I guess that is just the way it's going to be. I don't think anyone can be as successful of a leader as Erwin has been with such a cold and uncaring facade, so I'm just going to agree to disagree with Isayama and WIT how a character like Erwin should be portrayed. The only positive about the anime is how Erwin's developing depression is really hammered home in this and the previous episode. From the manga it was quite unclear to me how all that had happened, but now I can see the progression very clearly starting from Erwin's little talk with Zackley the Creepy Artist and continuing with Pixis' merciless opinion of Erwin and his gamble.

Yeah for all the flashbaCks! And omg Frieda!! I love her sooo much! I was looking forward to see her in this episode and I'm not disappointed at all! I just wanted to hug her and little Historia! ;-;

THOUGHTS ON EPISODE 5:

104th celebrating their freedom was dope

I really loved this episode because Erwin had his chance to shine for once. I especially loved the foreshadowing of what a huge mistake they might have just made with the coup d'état. And I loved seeing my second favourite commander, Nile, as well! He's been growing on me for a longer while now, but the anime is really reminding me how Nile has always been a sensible but kind person.

Episode was ok. The cinematography of the episode was rather lacking at points and without some of the conversations with Nile and Pixis, the confrontation is somewhat oversimplified.

The conversation between Erwin and Zackley broke my heart. Implying the two would have anything in common is outrageous, and Erwin's reaction to the comparison is the proof of it. Erwin was so human and vulnerable in that moment that I thought finally they did justice to his character.

EREN'S ABS WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH TO REPLACE ERWIN'S AND LEVI'S ABS!!! THAT'S THE WORST BETRAYAL EVER, WIT!!!!!

I like that there is more and more dialogue and information during the recent episodes!

i thought it was good. at the time i was sad the "do you remember your father's sin" reveal wasn't the cliffhanger but since it was the opening for this episode and it was amazing in my opinion i have no problems.

Eren is hot

Erwin=Daddy

That cliffhanger with Historia was great! I wonder if they'll be able to replicate the one in the manga where it looks like she's about to inject herself. It'll be disappointing if they don't.

The Hange monologue at the end, however, with Levi's input was really weird and it didn't make much sense to me how they could infer so many ""clues"" about the truth and the Reiss family from what Hange was telling. The same is true about Armin's sudden but oh so convenient musings about how Eren inherited his titan powers. It was clear foreshadowing, but really badly executed.

i was waiting for this question on ep 5 poll, thnks! Well my thought were "there's no way they'll animate the shit machine" and "I WANT MOAR LEVI"

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 468 Responses

We overlooked a platform this week, our apologies! 

Oi where's the 4chan option

Thank you again to everyone who participated. We’ll see you back on Tuesday!