#there were other things but that was the most notable

[dukeofankh]

If your vision for the deradicalization of right-wing men begins and ends with "other men telling them that that's gross and to stop it" then I'm sorry, you do not understand how masculinity works.

"Men who hold patriarchal status" and "men who are feminists" are two groups who overlap less than you want them to. I'm sorry. That's not solely because men are so happy with patriarchal status that they don't want to risk it by policing misogyny/queerphobia/racism, It's because being misogynistic, queerphobic, and racist, end expressing other forms of toxic masculinity(and often abusively so) are part of how people establish and maintain patriarchal status. The men who have the ability to stop this via nothing but peer pressure are the very people who are doing it. That's by design. And engaging in feminist intervention is, in and of itself, usually the abrupt end of that status and its associated power to persuade misogynistic men.

Like, I have worked in blue collar jobs as a notably queer person. It was pretty much a constant deluge of verbal abuse. In my experience, most blue collar work environments are exploitative, abusive, and bigoted, and very gleefully so. On the occasions I have spoken up about someone saying something that was super fucking out of line (asking me which of the girls walking by was hottest. We were installing a portable classroom at a middle school), believe it or not, they completely failed to be shamed! Because nobody else on the crew gave a fuck. *I* was the weird one. They ghosted me. A full blown company ghosted me. I suddenly didn't have a job anymore because they just straightforwardly stopped telling me where the next job site was.

Like, this doesn't mean that it's your job to do it, but this vision you have of these big groups of men where everyone is on the fence and there is precisely one shit stirrer who can be shut down by a brave feminist man who can single handedly set the example for all these other guys...you are high. You are describing an "everybody clapped" level absurd scenario. Most of these truly virulent misogynistic guys either have zero friends, because, you know, our society is atomized to fuck, or they are in a group where the feminist guy is actually the weirdo who can be shut down and ostracized much, much easier than the misogynists, because there is no such thing as a man misogynists respect who stands up for women.

You might be saying "well, we're talking about longstanding personal relationships, actually. Like, they need to have to want to spend time with you and then, as a side effect, you can mind control them out of being a threat to us."

Problem with that being:

1: Many feminist men also have no friends, see the atomized society above.

2: Feminist men already stopped hanging out with men who make rape jokes because why the fuck would we want to spend time with them.

3: That isn't just because we respect women so hard. We are in many cases talking about men who are also deeply queerphobic, heirarchical, violent and abusive to other men. What initially drew me to feminism and women was a lack of heirarchical squabbling and constant bullying, and the ability to be openly queer. A lot of men who came to feminism did so because they knew that the patriarchy was not a place they would find success or acceptance. These are not the men who are gonna be able to change right wing minds.

4. Men do not view themselves as a monolith. There is no universal brotherhood of men. The actual meaning of the term "Fragile masculinity" is that men are constantly expected to prove that they are deserving of the status of being a member of their own gender. There are large swathes of men--including most of the men who you'd look to as examples of good, feminist men who you want to undertake this project--who are considered failed men, sissies, f****ts, soyboys, ect. They are. Not. Going. To. Convince. These. Men. Of. Jack. Shit. Much less successfully *shame* them. Jesus.

I know all of this sucks. I know it would be cool to be able to just point at a group and have them be responsible for the work. But nah. It's gonna have to be a societal project, one that will probably outlast all of us. Sorry. The thing you want these men to do is, absolutely, the morally correct thing to do. But presuming that it would be effective is, and once again I am so sorry about this, just ignorance of how these social groups function.

[seeingivy]

girl i've always been

ryomen sukuna x f!reader

**part of my dream girl fic

previous part linked here

songs mentioned: girl i've always been by olivia rodrigo and state of grace by taylor swift

--

--

sukuna very desperately wishes that he had a better sense of judgment. about three things specifically. 

first and foremost – he wished that he hadn’t let you walk off the night prior. he was filled with irritation, because he should have been smart enough to ask for your number. or question you farther to parse out where you were going to be next so he could meet you there. 

second – he wished that he had made a more productive use of the night that followed. that instead of listening to your entire discography and watching every interview he could find, he should have slept through the night. 

the pursuit only made him more irritated with every interview he watched, because he grew more curious the more he found out. 

there were a few things that were obvious to him. that you never went down without a fight, that your fans weren’t short of support for you, that you were cemented as someone who made major moves in the industry – without the help of previous connections like most people. 

but other things were entirely lost to him. like the fact that you used to be so close with kim and aimee at one point but they had never brought you up. that you never stood down to a fight, despite losing greatly at times. that there was some part of the image that you put out that he didn’t necessarily understand. 

yet. 

and third – he wished he hadn’t forgotten that one of his biggest pr interviews was going to be the next day. 

he was at almost zero energy and the cameras littered around the bar of the coffee shop were starting to stress him out. only because this was the last interview that he wanted to tweak out at. 

sukuna cracks his knuckles three, four times.

it’s only two hours. and drinks that he had made hundreds of times. 

“are you good?” yuuji asks. 

“yeah. just slept late last night.” sukuna responds. 

yuuji squints his eyes at him. 

“yeah i heard you. what were you doing?” yuuji asks. 

“just listening to music. was finding it hard to fall asleep.” sukuna responds. 

“mijo, you never change, do you?” 

sukuna turns the corner to find the source of the voice, only to find alina with a hand propped up on her hip, the features of her face all scrunched up and prepared to scold him, and freddie lingering behind trying not to laugh. 

if there was one thing that freddie hated, it was getting scolded by his mother. by proxy, watching someone else be the aim of her wrath filled him with the utmost joy. 

sukuna worked three jobs in high school. he got fired from the first two (a car garage where he assisted the mechanics and a dishwasher at a high end restaurant) and got very close to it with the third, which was being a barista at alina’s coffee shop, play coffee. 

he’s not sure what it was that kept alina from firing him – something he was convinced was a mix of pity and the soft spot she seemed to have for him – because he most certainly deserved to be fired. 

he couldn’t make the most popular drink, the lavender matcha, during rush hour and seemed to make things worse just by being around. he was less of an asset and more of a problem that persisted. 

but somehow, he’d spent the last ten years of his life keeping the coffee shop running by helping her make drinks (the ones he could actually make) or watching freddie in the back room when he was younger. 

more notably, he’d saved them from getting evicted from the building with the first paycheck he got from his acting job. 

it was only when he claimed that it was an investment that she gave in to such a hefty favor, which was followed by her cementing his name on the wall with yuuji’s as one of the co-owners. 

that and the fact that she had to give in, because yuuji and sukuna had already paid it behind her back. she thought it was too much. but to sukuna, he was just repaying a long standing favor. 

a true investment it was because sukuna was dedicated to getting the name out and bringing in more business whenever he could. which included today – an interview that he was doing for vanity fair while covering the morning rush at the coffee shop as part of the pr before the premiere of the show. 

“someone has to keep you on your toes, alina.” sukuna responds. 

it earns him a snort from freddie, who gets a consequent glare from alina, before she turns back to him and crosses her arms over her chest. 

“keep me on my toes? more like keeping me ten feet from my deathbed. do you know how much you stress me out?” alina asks. 

sukuna shrugs, ignoring the question, because he knows that he would hate the answer. he hated giving her more stress than she needed.

he makes his best efforts to divert away from that conversation, only because he knows he’s not even awake enough to deal with getting read to filth so early in the morning. 

“do you happen to know the dates for your graduation yet freddie?” sukuna asks. 

freddie glares at him. 

it makes his stomach lurch, thinking about him wearing a dark blue high school graduation gown and going to college a few months from now, when all he can remember is freddie biting him when he was trying to rangle him out of the car for the first day of third grade. 

“it’s september, dude. how would i know the dates already?” he responds, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

sukuna glares right back. he was getting just as snippy as alina. like mother like son he supposed. 

“okay fine. i’ll just retract the car i was planning on buying for you.” 

freddie’s eyes widen. he can already sense the immediate switch up. 

“you were going to buy me a car?” freddie asks. 

“going to. but you’ve got such a shit attitude that i’m reconsidering it.” sukuna responds. 

“cuidado con tus palabras! fuiste criado por lobos?” alina scolds. 

alina scuttles away to the other end of the bar to arrange the cups, as sukuna and freddie stifle down a laugh. 

“wolves? that means wolves right?” yuuji whispers. 

freddie shakes his head. 

“she gets more dramatic as time goes on. me wanting to move to new york doesn’t help either.” freddie responds. 

freddie was in the process of applying to colleges. three weeks ago, sukuna got an hour long run down from yuuji – that alina and freddie were in the midst of a big fight about him wanting to apply to colleges on the east coast and on the east coast only. 

safe to say that alina didn’t take it well. at all. he could feel the animosity lingering in the air from the way that they were glaring at one another. 

alina shortly returns and gives the two of them a look, before passing one of the freshly baked scones over to yuuji. it was a long standing tradition, to taste test the pastries for the day before the shop opened, and alina always showed her bias by letting yuuji take the first one. 

“none for us?” sukuna asks, wrapping his free arm around freddie’s shoulder. 

“maybe if you earned it.” alina responds. 

“and what did yuuji do to earn a scone? he’s been sitting on his ass all day.” freddie responds. 

alina shakes her head, before reaching forward to pinch yuuji’s cheek. 

“amor de mi vida, he’s always so sweet. the two of you should be taking notes. talking about staying up all night and sueños de new york.” alina responds, before walking away again. 

sukuna and freddie parse a glare for yuuji, who only smiles at the two of them gloatingly. 

“i can give lessons. you two have a lot to learn.” yuuji responds. 

“hilarious.” sukuna responds. 

“by the way, you don’t have to worry about the car. he’s just pulling your leg, we already bought it for your birthday.” yuuji responds. 

freddie widens her eyes, an excited smile spreading across his face as she looks up at sukuna, waiting for confirmation. he all but rolls his eyes, before yanking the key from his pocket. 

“did you really buy me a car?” he asks. 

“have to give it to you early since we’ll be in new york for premiere stuff next week.” yuuji responds. 

“senior year and all. have to drive there and go hang out with all your little friends, don’t you?” sukuna asks. 

freddie wraps him in a harsh hug, almost borderline painful, before scuttling over to yuuji’s side and doing the same. sukuna presses the key into his hand, letting yuuji show him the pictures on his phone, before shuffling over to the other side of the bar to where alina’s arranging the cups, to do some damage control. 

“you don’t have to worry about me. or freddie and his new car. you should worry about yuuji. and how hopeless he is.” sukuna jokes. 

sukuna can tell that she doesn’t find it funny. that freddie’s immediate excitement is something that worries her. 

“i should worry. about all of you. you can’t even put your shirt on the right way. you’d walk face first into the street if i didn’t worry about you.” she responds, tugging on the back of his shirt. 

sukuna lifts his hand to the back of his shirt, feeling the tag, as he feels his cheeks warm at being called out. he pulls the shirt over his head, readjusting it to the right way as she continues rambling. 

“yuuji is hopeless when it comes to love. pero, at least he’s sensible in the ways that matter. you and freddie, you think too much with your hearts. get a little reckless, too excited. yo pienso que you love him but he’s not responsible enough to take care of a car! and i’m going to call whoever is paying you because you should be more responsible with your money instead of buying him whatever he wants!” 

sukuna heaves a sigh. 

“creo que estas atacando porque no quieres que se mueva.” sukuna mutters. 

alina pinches her eyes shut. 

“of course i don’t want him to move away! do you know how far new york is?” 

“i’ll buy you a private jet. you can go see him whenever you want.” sukuna responds. 

alina reaches for the closest towel and smacks him with it. 

“you’re not funny. and he’s too young to move out there on her own. and you….you have some nerve saying yuuji’s hopeless in love. you’re even worse! don’t think i didn’t see what they were saying about you on the news two days ago.” she responds. 

sukuna rolls his eyes, before reaching forward and placing his hands on both of her shoulders. he squeezes hard, noting the stressed wrinkles that are imprinted into her forehead at this point, as he shoots her a smile. 

it’s moments like this where he feels bad for being reckless. when he’s reminded of the fact that he’s not the only one affected by his actions. 

“you should take things one day at a time. taking on so much does nothing for you, mi amor.” sukuna responds, mimicking her voice. 

“don’t repeat my words back to me.” she responds. 

“it’s good advice. you should take it. maybe worry less about freddie and new york and just focus on making sure he takes good care of the car and learns some responsibility. and yuuji is my responsibility, so i’m working on that.” sukuna responds. 

alina rolls her eyes. 

“and who’s going to work on you? you need some serious help too.” 

“i have to keep you in a job, one way or another.” he responds. 

sukuna hears the bell against the door ringing, accompanied by loud voices that he can instantly recognize. he watches as satoru, suguru, shoko, megumi, and nobara all stand at the front of the cash register, animated hands moving as they talk to yuuji and eye all the cameras. 

“which one is the boy?” 

“spiky hair.” yuuji responds. 

alina tilts her head to the side. 

“really? esto?” 

“trust me. he’s just as hopeless as yuuji. i think they’re made for each other.” sukuna whispers. 

sukuna pushes up off the counter and joins them at the register, trying to catch the end of their conversation. 

“sukuna and i have to sit out but we’d love to come.” yuuji states. 

“you’re no fun. it’s going to be such a great performance.” gojo whines. 

“plus, she’s like way more famous than all of us combined. it would be a good look for the show if we all go together.” shoko adds. 

“sit out of what?” sukuna asks. 

nobara turns over to him, a hand popped up on her hip. 

“megumi invited us to go watch y/n’s tiny desk performance with him. she told him that he could bring whoever he wanted since she knows about promotion for the show and all that and we’re all going so we can watch gojo shit his pants from excitement.” 

sukuna can feel his heart hammering in his chest. like it’s fate. 

like the stars are aligning in his favor, a clear cut sign from the universe that something was going to happen. that things were going to go his way. 

he looks back over at gojo, noting the tour merchandise shirts that he had seen on your website only hours prior, and feels his stomach lurch with excitement. 

at the opportunity. 

“i’m going.” sukuna responds. 

“what?” yuuji asks. 

sukuna shakes his head, almost too adamantly, as he reaches to unlock the cash register, now ready to speed through the interview and run over there right now. 

“we’re going.” sukuna repeats. 

“what about freddie’s car?” yuuji states. 

“we’ll drive it over afterwards. but pr is important and you know people will talk, so we should go.” sukuna whispers. 

yuuji narrows his eyes at him. 

“shouldn’t you be lying low? what if shoyo gets mad?” yuuji whispers. 

sukuna almost gets mad. at the thought of being stamped out of the opportunity in front of him. it’s why he responds so harshly. 

“you’re acting like i’m going to give an interview while i’m there. we’re just going to listen to her sing and leave.” sukuna seethes, convinced that the urgent tone is almost giving him away entirely. 

yuuji shrugs. but at the end, he gives in. and there’s a newfound energy as sukuna prepares to make drinks for the next two hours. 

--

--

the rest of the day, right up until he’s sitting in the front row seat waiting for you to come out, feels like a blur. he can barely remember the drive over, when his interview at the coffee shop ended, whatever it was that satoru was blabbing about in the car, because the sheer anticipation of possibility of a conversation was driving him insane. 

sukuna hadn’t exactly noted it yet, but he was too attached to the plan that he had dreamt up when he met you the night prior. maybe even obsessed with it, but that felt like it was a little on the nose. 

there was something extremely tantalizing and intoxicating about the thought – about getting revenge on aimee for tainting his good name so close to his show without having to do it himself, by getting a group of fans ready to rally behind him in the efforts that were being made to smear his name, and most importantly, getting to be around you and your snippy retorts you had offered him the night prior. 

it was making him sick to his stomach, thinking of all the different ways he could approach the prospect. singling out the best way to present it to you. thinking of all the mouthy responses that you’d give him in response. 

how does he get your phone number? he has to make sure that he finds out where you’re going next to make sure that if today doesn’t work out in his favor, he gets another chance to talk to you again. 

would he rub salt in the wound by bringing up your past with kim and aimee? or would that push your right over the edge into agreeing with him? there was clearly some vitriol there, if they were able to digress from dragging him under the bus to do it to you instead. 

and most importantly.

is his plan even viable? is it insulting for him to propose that you write fake songs about him to help his public image? surely there was nothing that you would gain from it, so was it even a legitimate thing for him to ask? 

the hours of research that he had done last night made it feel like he had a crystal clear image of what he needed to do. but the courage and bravery that he was feeling last night was dwindling close to almost nothing when he knew that you were only a few walls away, that he was subject to your mercy when it came to this entire thing. 

he thinks that the lack of sleep, coupled with the slight delusions that he’s entertaining at the current moment, are going to bite him in the ass.  

it’s right at that moment when he hears a clapping as you walk out onto the set, a purple guitar in your hand as you take a seat at the main stage. he can hear his heart beating in his ears, automatically stretching up in his seat as he watches you tuck your hair behind your ears and wave at the crowd in front of you. 

“hi guys! how are we doing today?” you ask, leaning into the microphone. 

there’s a resounding sound of cheers, one that you give a big smile to, as you press your hands to your chest to stop the beating. 

the facts are running through sukuna’s head. the purple guitar is the same one that you use on your tour. when you tour. the silver ring on your pointer finger is one that a fan gifted to you in lisbon. you learned how to play piano when you were five. 

“for those of you who are new here, i’m y/n. i’m so so flattered that npr invited me here to sing a few songs for you. i’m so excited to show you some of the new stuff i’ve been working on and play some old ones while i’m ahead. but yeah –” 

sukuna watches as you pause mid-sentence. he watches as you pause, almost in confusion, to the point where you stop talking. 

correction. 

sukuna watches as you pause mid-sentence at the exact moment that the two of you make eye contact. that you’re confused at his presence, that you recognize him, that it’s enough to warrant a pause. 

it sends a wave of elation through sukuna as he lifts his hand, giving you a polite wave from his seat, one that he watches you graciously return, with a sweet smile, before looping the strap of your guitar over your neck. 

sukuna pretends that it doesn’t make his heart swell up in hope, that he had elicited a reaction from you. that you returned the wave that he offered you. that this could go his way, in the slightest. 

“well, right. this first song is a new one that i’ve been working on. i wrote it around a few days ago after i went to this stupid afterparty from one of the events that my studio was holding and it’s about some of the company i’ve kept. it’s called girl i’ve always been.” you state.

"Baby doll, you have changed" That's the thing you always say Cursin' me, trash my name I rained all over your parade Now you're on my couch, you're fightin' tears You say I'm cruel beyond my years And as I'm walkin' out that door Say you don't know me anymore

sukuna quickly realizes that there’s something about singing that does it for you. because your entire demeanor changes. you relax your shoulders from the tense position they’re usually in, swing your hips to the beat of the song, and make very expressive facial expressions that seem even more lively than the videos he had watched all night. 

you seem electric. 

Well, I have captors I call friends I got panic rooms inside my head And I get down with crooked men But I am the girl I've always been I got wrapped up in the game again And you woke up in an empty bed And I can't say I'm a perfect ten But I am the girl I've always been 

“holy shit. i know jake’s somewhere shitting his pants over this.” nobara murmurs. 

“that’s what that dumbass gets for airing out that she wouldn’t have sex with him. like that’s something he’s entitled to.” megumi responds back. 

“an idiot like that probably thinks that he’s entitled to everything.” nobara responds. 

sukuna can feel his ears burning. his chest heaving – because there’s too much information, because he doesn’t know what to do with all of it – but he knows that it's important. that he could use it the way he needed, if he worded it right. 

jake was the guy from last night. he was friends with aimee, maybe a little too close with aimee, who you clearly weren’t fond of either. and if there was one thing that aimee was, it was possessive. jealous. angry when she felt that things weren’t going her way. 

that’s why she was so pissed when he ended it with her, since he was the one who had the upper hand. clearly she’d be even more mad if he retreated to the place that she hated the most – right into your arms. 

it almost feels like time is moving too fast, that his thoughts are plaguing the current moment, because before he knows it there’s a resounding sound of clapping, coupled with you leaving through the door on the left. 

he hadn’t even solidified what he wanted to say yet. 

sukuna’s not sure what wills him to act so quickly, but without saying anything to the group of them, he darts behind you and enters through the door, only to be welcomed to a darkly lit hallway and no sign of you. 

there’s a confusing mix of signs that are littered on the wall, none of which give him any aid towards finding the direction you went in, as he takes a sharp left turn and starts speeding across the plastic tiled floors. 

how could you have disappeared so fast? did he even go in the right direction? 

sukuna counts his lucky stars, because not even four doors down, he finds a paper tacked to the room, your name embellished in sparkly letters and glittering graphics as he reaches for the handle and opens the door. 

this was his chance. to spill it all out. 

his heart pounds as he opens the door, but much to his dismay, he finds the room empty and sans your presence. 

what the hell was he supposed to do now? 

but he takes the quiet moments to stake his claim, only because he figures – he hopes – that you’ll return here at some point as he takes a seat in the chair at the side. and even if you don’t, your belongings might have to give him some clue. at the very least, he could leave his phone number in here and pray that someone would return it to you. 

he’s drawn first to the vanity, the one that he figures you were sitting at only hours prior when you were getting ready for the performance. there’s an array of makeup spread across the table, a handwritten note at the top of the box. 

you’re a doll! good luck on your performance - mimi

your producer. the one that he had seen in the interviews, that you stated was like your sister. he categorizes the thought in his mind, trying to commit it’s importance to his memory. 

the next thing that catches his attention is a picture that’s tacked to the mirror on the left. 

he steals it off the glass, treasuring the image in his fingers, as he looks at it up close. he can recognize everyone in the picture – eren, mikasa, and historia – your self proclaimed friends that you talked about in almost every interview and megumi attached to your side on the right. 

he figures that you must be younger here, only because you look so different. your hair longer than it was currently, the smile on your face smaller than he’s ever seen it. he flips it over, noting the handwriting in the back, in each of the four corners. 

you’re the best friend i’ve ever had - mikasa 

my idol, always - historia 

the one and only love of my life (derogatory) - megumi 

cheering you on forever, star girl! - eren 

it only confuses him more, the premise of each of the messages. star girl means that it had to be recent, because your album had only come out a few months ago. then how could you look so different only a little while back? unless the picture was older? 

why you would feel inclined to tack it to the glass if you were only going to be here for a few hours. what did megumi mean by his statement? 

sukuna can feel his heart drop to the pit of his stomach as he hears the door swing open, coupled with the sight of you in the mirror, with a confused look plastered on your face. 

like a deer caught in headlights. 

“are you stalking me, princess bubblegum?” you ask. 

sukuna immediately drops the picture onto the vanity, turning around to find you standing there, a cup of iced coffee in your hand as you give him a sly smile. he lets out a nervous laugh, only at getting caught so blatantly.  

“just a very big fan, marceline.” he responds. 

you cross your hands over your chest, narrowing your eyes at him. 

“you weren’t even singing along.” you state. 

sukuna grins. 

“were you watching me?” 

“the pink hair is abhorrent. it’s almost hard not to.” you state. 

“most people are into the pink hair thing. it’s one of a kind, you know? and in my defense, two of those songs were new. i’m learning.” sukuna clarifies. 

you widen your eyes. he was too obvious. he was trying to be too obvious. 

“seems like someone’s been doing his homework.” you state. 

“i’m somewhat of an overachiever.” he responds. 

you push past him, taking a seat at the chair in the center of the vanity, and set the drink that megumi had got to you to the left. sukuna takes it as an invitation to invade your space, his hands braced against both of the armrests of his chair, his cheek lingering against your shoulder. 

“i made the drink for you, you know?” sukuna asks. 

“i have a sneaking suspicion that you didn’t know it was for me.” you state. 

“if i did, i would have written you a little note on the cup. i only do that for girls who are special, you know?” 

you roll your eyes. 

“and what did i do to gain such favor in your eyes?” 

sukuna smiles at you through the mirror. 

“i find you impressive. i’m entirely fascinated by how you work and i…i want to know more. i have a feeling that you and i could be very useful to each other.” 

you set the glass down on the vanity. 

“i’m guessing you didn’t just insist on showing up to my tiny desk, despite the fact that you were supposed to giving someone a car? for nothing. was there something you wanted from me? because i’d rather you be straightforward and say it to me instead of speaking in tongues.” you state. 

sukuna clicks his tongue in his cheek. megumi must have told you – surely you couldn’t be that good at predicting everything. 

“perceptive. are you always like this, princess?” sukuna asks. 

“does that bother you? it’s something you’ll have to get used to.” you ask. 

“quite the contrary. i enjoy a challenge.” 

you hum, twisting the plastic of the straw in your fingers. 

“really. what do you want?” you ask. 

sukuna nods, before crossing the way and leaning against the edge of your vanity at your side. 

“i think that you and i could be really useful to each other. i know that you’re not particularly fond of aimee, of jake and all of his bullshit, and i’m not either. that and the fact that she blocked you from getting the number one spot when you clearly had the better song.” 

sukuna watches your eye twitch. he’s found the soft spot. the thing that irritates you.

losing.

“your show is about to get tanked by whatever it is she has coming next.” you retort back. 

sukuna grins. he’s got you exactly where he wants you. you wouldn't get defensive if it didn't bother you.

“you know about my show? have you been stalking me?” 

you feel your cheeks burn. 

“because of megumi, sweetheart. nothing more nothing less.” 

sukuna feels his chest pang slightly, from the embarrassment. because of course you know about the show from megumi. 

“right, well. seriously. it would really piss them off if you started dating me, even if it was just for looks. what they don’t know won’t hurt them.” 

you sigh, pushing off the edge of your chair, as you stand close to him. and you’re able to smell it again, the minty musk, as you give him a smile. 

“i know that you know aimee. i don’t give a fuck about jake, but i do know that people who are as egotistical as that tend to get possessive. especially about things that aren’t theirs. and as scathing as your songs are, there’s one surefire way to piss them both off – to get two birds with one stone.” 

you ponder over the thought. and sink into your chair about how much he’s thought about this, caught off guard by the fact that he’s got it entirely on the nose. 

but you can’t. you need time to think. you don’t even know who he is. 

“i appreciate the offer. but, i’m not interested in getting tangled up with them again.” you state. 

“they started it already. you don’t want to bite back?” sukuna goads, leaning in closer to your cheek.  

“i’m not the type.” you respond. 

sukuna pauses. 

“from what i’ve seen, i don’t necessarily think that's true.” 

“do you think you’ve got me all figured out, sukuna?” you ask. 

he loves the way his mouth rolls off your tongue and the accusatory tone in your voice when you say it. like you’re trying to get him to take the bait, like the two of you are playing a game. 

and he leans closer, smiling down at you as he wraps he cups your cheek with his left hand, before pinching at your cheek. 

“i’m almost positive that i do.” he responds. 

and he’s quick with it, reaching forward and tucking the stray strands of your hair behind your ear, before reaching for your hand, and scribbling something onto your palm.

you only look down at your hand when he retreats, his phone number inked on your hand. 

“either way, you know where to find me if you change your mind.” he states, before slamming the door shut behind him. 

you think about it. think about it all night, the way his hand felt against your cheek, the warmth in his smile, why you even saved the number in the first place.

would it even make sense to help him? would they really be so mad the way that he anticipated?

the thoughts rumble through your mind , over and over, until something pushes you over the edge, right into his hand. 

[hisu]: SOS CHECK TWITTER 

[hisu]: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP 

[hisu]: AIMEE STOLE YOUR SONG

--

--

next part linked here

an: anyways.

taglist: @porridgesblog @k0z3me @sugu-love @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @skzismyhome @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @shotenvinsoot @itzmeme @gojoswifeyyys-world @cutiejg @chilichopsticks @timmytimmytuckyy @dreamxiing @mamamamamarga @skunabby @meisque @hoseokslefteyebrow @thepurpleempath @shrimphutao4ever @monic19 @najaemism @haitanibros0007 @catobsessedlady @luvs4kim @ri-sa20 @thejujvtsupost @invisible-mori @satoruslipbalm @kyo-kyo1 @telepathicheartss @huhsthccvjh @sxnkuna @w31rdg1rl @lilalia3945 @multiplefandomthings @shotovhs @voids-universe @timetobegone @deeeeexx @livelovelaughisagiyochi @pelicanpizza @cowgirlikets @jeon-blue @phantomasmaniac @yoontaedotin @cowgirlikets @estrella-novella @theauthorunicorn @catastayy @ryumurin @kindadolly @th0tformikasa @r0ckst4rjk @you-always-made-me-blush @leave-rae-alone @lemonnotade @firelordazulaaaa

[your-local-granny]

okay before i forget. i've been trying to put my finger on why people saying phoenix and maya are 'sibling-coded' pisses me off so much and I think a big part of it is how important mia is to both their introduction and also the foundation of their relationship and how calling phoenix and maya 'siblings/sibling-coded' waters down all of their relationships

phoenix wishing that maya was mia is a very big part of maya's arc as well as a big sticking point in phoenix and maya's relationship. phoenix spends the majority of turnabout sisters wishing that 'the chief' was there and when maya fails to channel her he shows outward disappointment. this is something that maya obviously picks up on and internalizes as we see throughout the rest of the games. most notably maya shows remarkably little self-preservation, throwing herself at von Karma's taser and in contempt of court to help edgeworth (and by extent, phoenix). she openly admits to feeling useless when she can't channel mia and phoenix never refutes this out loud until he of course presents the bullet to her showing that she wasn't useless. phoenix is notably bad at expressing his thoughts/ and feelings so its honestly debatable whether this gets through to maya but thats neither here nor there

on the other side of it, maya wishes that phoenix would be the caring adult figure that she was missing for most of her life (and especially after mia dies) and phoenix does not do a great job of being that figure. he likes her sure, and they're good friends, but he's definitely not nurturing or sensitive whenever maya is in distress. at the end of turnabout sisters when mia tells maya to "take care of phoenix" for her, maya starts calling him nick (because that's what mia said phoenix's friend calls him) and their dynamic for the most part is solidified. maya is not able to find mia in phoenix and accepts him as his own person and a part of her life as a friend.

phoenix has a more complicated journey with viewing maya as her own person partially because of the whole spirit-channeling thing, and partially because maya is younger than both the chief and himself. phoenix is constantly looking to a mentor for guidance and feels out of his depth for most of the cases in the trilogy. he frequently wishes that mia could be there, and is shown to value maya's ideas less, or at the least question them more at face-value. nevertheless, by the second game phoenix relies on maya greatly as shown with how he copes (or fails to cope) with her absence in rfta and 2-4, and 3-5. phoenix views her as both an integral part of his life and support structure, but also views her as someone he has to put on a brave face for, much like pearls. maya is phoenix's young friend that he leans on and wishes to protect.

maya's love for her sister is a core theme that spans the entire trilogy and culminates in maya almost dying in 3-5. phoenix's love for mia is a constant driving force that pushes him past what he believed himself capable of, and encourages him to trust those who become those closest to him. phoenix and maya's relationship is colored by their own relationships to mia, and how they view each others relationship with mia. they both represent a part of her that they never knew as well as a part of her they can keep loving in her place after she is gone, but most importantly, neither of them will ever be mia. no one else can be maya's big sister and no one else can be phoenix's mentor. they meet each other as two strangers set adrift by the same lost mooring, and though they'll never be secure in the way they were before meeting each other, they have a friend to help keep themselves afloat.

[serpentface]

maybe the most difficult worldbuilding question of all, what are some popular jokes in your setting? what about ones based on the vocabulary you have established so far, but which just don't translate to english?

I only have one thing established that is purely a Joke that isn't translatable to english-

A lot of Wardi dick jokes revolve partially around this animal, the long-suffering hippegalga

The name 'hippegalga' means 'little horn'.

Hippe/hippi is a somewhat antiquated word for 'small/little', in contemporary dialect it's still recognizable as having connotations of 'small' but isn't commonly used in actual vocabulary (you'll find it more often in names). Galga was originally one of several words for 'horn', in this case broadly pertaining to the horns of antelope ('meti' is the most generalized word for animal horns, while specific animal groups (antelope, khait and cattle) have their own horn words.

Hippegalga horns are considered to be notably phallic among all animal horns (big male hippegalga tend to have horns approximately the size of an average human penis) and are ascribed beneficial qualities for male development and fertility (taken powdered as medicine and/or worn) while also serving the non-sexual functions of a general phallus when worn as an amulet.

The word 'galga' or its shortened 'gal' tends to be used on its own specifically for this animal's horn (ie: if you're describing a hippegalga's horn, you just say 'galga' instead of 'hippegalga galga', while if you were describing another antelope's horn you Would say '[antelopes name] galga'). Because of this, the word has greatly absorbed the animal's phallic connotations while still retaining the meaning 'horn'. As such, galga/gal has earned additional meaning as euphemistic slang for 'penis' in common dialect.

The name 'hippegalga', which once had absolutely no penis connotations, now sounds to most Wardi speakers like you're saying 'small penis'. It's like if in english there was a very common, well-known backyard bird called the 'little cock'. You'd know damn well that it's not Supposed to mean 'little penis', you'd know that the bird was probably named before 'cock' became more commonly used as penis slang than a word for 'male bird', but it sure is a funny name.

What's more, hippegalga are VERY common wild animals that adapt well to urban environments (they're basically as ubiquitous to urban areas as squirrels) and are very tameable and kept as pets. Their ubiquity and familiarity makes them very fertile ground for dick jokes and innuendo.

So you'll see 'hippegalga' used as a basic slang term for 'small penis' (ie: "I saw his hippegalga the other day"), or used in more complex ways in comedic plays/poetry/etc as a euphemism IE:

"he left to tend to his hippegalga" - innocently meaning "he left to feed his pet antelope" while strongly implying "he went off to crank his (notably small, which is funny) dick" "she was disappointed to find a herd of hippegalga waiting at her door" - innocently meaning "she was annoyed that a herd of little antelopes were blocking her doorway", and depending on the context could imply something like "she found a bunch of disappointing, impotent male suitors lurking around her doorway" or "she's having sex with several men and is disappointed to find their dicks are small"

(TANGENT: average sized penises are culturally considered ideal, with notably large penises implying an outsized libido and un-masculine lack of self control, and notably small penises implying sexual impotence and general weakness. It tends to be assumed that if a woman has an outsized libido she will be interested in men with larger penises)

Gal(ga) as euphemistic slang for penis plays into the name of gannegal soup, which is a dish that contains bull penis as one of its ingredients. 'Gannegal' is effectively a double entendre. You're not saying 'ox penis' soup (that would be 'ganne gemane'), the dead literal translation of gannegal IS 'ox horn'. But this is not the Naturalistic way you would say 'ox horn' either, because 'gal(ga)' is not used for the horns of cattle (you would say 'gannemitla' or just 'mitla'). So like to a Wardi listener the name 'gannegal' is politely saying 'ox horn' while heavily implying its contents of bull penis.

"Gal(ga)" as both a word for horn and slang term for penis has a lot of other applications in jokes/puns/euphemisms.

I don't have the words established for the full Wardi language version, but a phrase that translates to "a hawk carrying a bull by the horns" (using 'galga' instead of the naturalistic 'gannemitla') is used to describe a woman as sexually domineering, or to describe a couple being consisted of a conniving sexually controlling woman and a weak-willed libidinous man. The imagery is a small predatory bird controlling a physically superior, powerful animal, and implying via 'galga' that the control is sexual in nature. It's usage is Kind Of similar to 'henpecked husband' in implying a man as weak and overly controlled by his wife (with acutely misogynistic undertones that he's a failure in that he should clearly be the dominant party instead), just with an explicitly sexual layer.

There's also variants like "he's a bull led by his horns" as something you might say about a superficially powerful man that you're implying is mentally weak (the galga euphemism implies this mental weakness is specifically lack of sexual control, but this phrase is sometimes used in more generalized contexts).

---

This one's less of a joke per se, but "digging out the viper" "digging out the viper's tail" "digging out the tail" is a saying that describes something as a high effort and utterly futile exercise, a doomed vanity project, etc.

This refers to the Viper seaway, which is named for its fat snakelike shape. The 'tail' of the Viper dead-ends about 50 miles away from the actual ocean, which makes this sea ultimately unimportant in the larger sea trade system (you don't have to enter its waters at all to get to any major trade hubs). However, it would become EXTREMELY important to sea trade if someone managed to dig a canal between the Viper's 'tail' and the eastern sea.

This would be very difficult- a lot of the terrain is rocky and hilly (the actual canal might have to be closer to 70 miles long AT MINIMUM to work around the terrain). The people who actually live on this land (mostly Ubiyan pastoralists) are not heavily involved in the sea trade system, and most of their communities have never particularly wanted foreigners digging a huge fucking canal through their lands and building up a sea trade hub around it.

So, there have been at least two major historical attempts to dig the canal, both of which failed. One was through a strained alliance of Royal Dain kingdoms, and one was an attempt by Imperial Bur at its height (in which it controlled all the coasts on the south end of the Viper, among other places). Both failed spectacularly, due to a combination of logistical issues (the sheer scale of manpower needed, feeding this manpower, and sustaining the endeavor), internal political disagreement on the projects viability, and organized reprisals from the Ubiyan population. As it stands, the attempted canal exists as about 20 miles of shallow ditches, heavily eroded and washed out by rain.

The idea of digging out the canal now tends to be regarded as a spectacular and utterly futile act of hubris, to the point that variants of "digging out the Viper" as an expression of futility exist in Wardi, Burri, Dain, Finn, and Ubiyan languages.

The saying itself isn't quite a joke, but can very easily be Used in jokes and wordplay: IE in a play where the stock Arrogant Idiot character excitedly goes off to fight a group of bandits singlehandedly, you could see an exchange between other characters like "What did he say he was going to do?" "He said he has to go dig out a viper's tail" (which would not be regarded as uproariously funny but would probably elicit a chuckle from the audience).

This saying also lends itself to more sexual wordplay in that one partly antiquated word for tail (cunna) is now mostly used as slang for anus (though is still Recognizable as having meaning as an animals tail). (Kind of like in american english how most people Know the word 'ass' has meant 'donkey' for most of its history, but you don't often see it used as such).

The related word 'cunnari' stems from it (this is untranslatable, it dead literally means 'anus person') and is used to describe someone as passive in anal sex. This is Extremely insulting to use on a man (probably the closest approximation to 'faggot' in this language, though with different connotations) and degrading even when not.

A man (at least rhetorically) threatening to sexually penetrate another man is kind of like saying "I'll make you my bitch". So you might see variants on "digging out the viper's tail" which use the word 'cunna' for tail to mock an instance of this alpha male type declaration. IE: in the context of a play, this type of threat might be responded with a "ha, good luck digging out my tail" (your threats are laughably futile) or a more elaborate sort of "do I look like a viper to you? I can see why the likes of you is so interested in my tail" (you must be fucking stupid, you're the type to engage in hopeless endeavors of vanity). Etc.

On the other way around you might see 'cunnari' slipped into reversals of 'digging out the tail', ie: "he'll have no troubles digging out that cunnari", "If only the Viper was a cunnari, he'd have spread his tail wide open and saved Old Bur all its trouble". Etc

[cube-cumb3r]

BELOW: DOES ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS ANSWERS CORRELATE WITH OVERALL FORM RESPONSE BEHAVIOR???

Answer: maybe? idk

Here's the results for ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!

Firstly, rock is the most popular choice, for some reason. Wonder why?

Secondly, if you ended up in the time-loop section of the form you got asked "rock, paper, scissors" again, and were prompted to try and win against your previous response.

77% of responders won against themselves, 20% of people tied with themselves and 2.9% (actually only one person) lost. Responders generally won at the same rate regardless of what their initial pick was, (though an insignificantly higher %age people who picked "paper" at the start won, yet also the only person who lost against themselves also had also picked paper initially? Weird.)

Can we conclude anything from this? Probably not, other than the fact it seemed that the type of person who progressed far enough into the form to get this question, was also more likely the type of person to pay attention to what they were answering enough to win against themselves.

On an unrelated note, while writing this I was pondering whether there is a certain type of person that is more likely to pick rock, paper or scissors? And when I googled it, I got this extremely unhelpful result. Thanks World Rock Paper Scissors Association, why didn't I think of that before !

Back on topic. is there anything else we can wring out of this rock-paper-scissors question?

Well, it seems that maybe generally people overall are more likely to pick "rock", and least likely to pick "scissors", which is interesting given it's a "random" question with "meaningless" answers. It could maybe be explained by two things.

1, "Rock, paper, scissors" is one of the few questions where order of the response options isn't shuffled to show in a random order. So maybe more people just picked the first option.

2, Perhaps there is a certain type of person that is more likely to pick "rock" that is slightly over-represented in my sample, and a certain type of person that is more likely to pick "scissors" that is slightly under-represented in my sample.

3. it's a combination! Perhaps there's a certain type of person that is more likely to pick the first option out of a "random" question, and vice versa.

So what kind of person are these rock, paper and scissor warriors? Well, if we look at their self-rated personalities:

I've truncated the y-axis at 2.5 to make the differences more visible, but it also makes the differences look much more dramatic than they are, in reality the differences are pretty small.

I suppose the most notable differences are that Paperers perceive themselves to be more skeptical (misspelled in graph, don't worry about it) and more confident, while Rockers rate themselves as more silly and more intelligent, the latter I find funny because while Rockers perceive themselves to be more intelligent, they also on average performed the worst in the quiz questions LOL! (<- neither of these differences are statistically significant btw, but it does make me giggle!!!). Paperers also rate themselves as more serious and less intelligent than the other two groups do. Not sure what to make of that.

But self-rated "personality points" are pretty subjective and vague numbers, so is there any difference in actual HARD OBJECTIVE NUMBERS?

No, sorry one more thing. People who picked "rock" also had a higher " avg rock-edibility" score that I mentioned in my prior post, which is SOOOO CLOSE to being statistically significant, but alas it's not. I can sadly not conclude with confidence that on average people who pick "rock" in "rock-paper-scissors" also want to eat rocks, but I really wish I could...

But what can I conclude (maybe)?

People who answered "Rock" on average answered LESS questions than people who picked "Scissors" or "Paper" (on average 16 questions less), which is a statistically significant difference, while people who picked "Scissors" answered MORE questions (on average a whopping 28 questions more), which was also a statistically significant difference.

(t-test results for those who care below, I know it looks like the differences are "flipped" btw, it's just because of what happened to be defined as µ1 in the tests)

So maybe it's not an entirely unreasonable assumption to assume the type of person who clicks the first response in a seemingly meaningless question, is also the type of person to submit the form early and people who pick the last response are more likely to try and see the form through til the end (while people who pick the middle response are somewhere in the middle?)

Not the whole story apparently.

Scissorers were much more likely end up in a timeloop compared to Rockers and Paperers, so while they are diligent form-answerers they are clearly also much more reckless and not agreeable enough for the malevolent Google Form Cube to offer them the secret Password. I can also say that the craziest outliers in character count for free-form questions were from them, Scissorers are writing NOVELS in my google form?!

The mysterious and seemingly not very notewordy Paperers were the ones who on average were the most successful at finding the secret section. Perhaps a person who picks the middle option on a random question is the type to give their answers a bit more thought, and to google their form a bit more cautiously.

Now this of course, was only on a first run, it's not impossible that someone might end up in the good ending on their second, or third, (or fourth, or fifth,) try. (Also, unlike the section prior, these differences are not statistically significant and could just be due to randomness.

Oh but also, and this one is statistically significant, people who responded "paper" at the start on average rated the form worse than any other group. Perplexing.

Did we learn anything? I'm not entirely sure we did.

Does anyone want to do my new google form

[twopercentboy]

no, y'know what? as much as Josh's conversation with Buck in e6 was important, and he made some good points, I take strong issue with the qualifiers of "pre-Glee" and "post-Glee" world. that is the most insane thing to use as an indicator of queer acceptance, and at it's core, it's Ryan Murphy giving himself way too much credit.

and even if we look at it from outside the meta and from a character perspective, it's stupid! like, sure, I can understand that Josh was probably going for a more light hearted thing to use as an indicator, but Glee is so irrelevant in this scenario, especially when you consider that we're talking about Tommy in this specific context.

we know that right before season 1 takes place Tommy was only just starting to accept himself. we know right before season 1 he just ended his years long relationship with Abby. we also know that the seasons take place roughly at the time of premiere, so season 1 is set in 2018. that is already 3 years "post Glee"—even more if we go from initial release date—so this qualifier is already incredibly irrelevant to Tommy's story and the point Josh was trying to make. Not only that, but we know Tommy is around Abby's age! Meaning he was never part of the target audience for Glee and neither were his peers. Glee did absolutely jack shit for his journey to self or peer acceptance.

you know what is relevant to Tommy's journey? The repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Y'know what probably actually helped kick him into self acceptance? The nationwide legalization of gay marriage that happened less than 3 years before season 1.

the issue I have is we know, we know, that Tommy is around Abby's age, meaning he was born in the mid to late 70s and he grew up watching the AIDS epidemic happen. he grew up during that time in our history, when we were ostracized and dying by the hundreds. to boil down the lives and experiences of queer elders, which is what Tommy would be were he real, into "pre-Glee" and "post-Glee" is just so,,, disgusting to me. there's a dozen other notable events and indicators of our acceptance, and to choose Glee of all things is not only a slap in the face, but so fucking egotistical of Ryan Murphy.

I understand that Glee was a phenomenon and that it did help queer acceptance to a certain degree, but using it in this context, where it's so wholly irrelevant to the characters involved and feels like it was only used to stroke the ego of Ryan Murphy? I don't know! I just think they should've used something else, something more relevant, like, oh I don't know, the Obama administration legalizing gay marriage! they could've easily used "pre-obama" and "post-obama" and it would've suited the situation better, and actually been relevant to all characters involved!

I just really have a bone to pick with so many things in that episode in regards to 911's queer characters, but I think this is the one that really pisses me off.

[turtle-steverogers]

i rlly like ur posts abt how steves rough time with his dad as a little kid affects him later in life. i was wondering do u think the other avengers notice? and if they do what do you think they think/do about it?

also tbh i rlly like ur posts in general lol. i hope you have a good day!

I think the other Avengers notice after some time, considering most of them have similar experiences. I imagine it's sort of an unspoken thing, but it's almost... more notable on Steve, because he's so goddamn young and because when he wakes up from the ice, he's so goddamn stretched thin, that the reserves he usually has to shove all those old habits into a box are low. He's jumpy, the others notice. A raised voice-- especially male-- makes him flinch before he smooths out his face. Making requests is hard for him, and mistakes-- even small ones-- are met with scrambling apologies and frantic attempts to fix the problems.

No one says anything, because they know what it's like, and they don't want him to feel cornered. But there's a hard mission, and he and Natasha are alone in a motel room, and Steve is so clearly low. Kids had been involved. And Natasha had seen the way Steve had shut down to see the marks and bruises on the little boy and girl they'd gotten out of a trafficking situation, and she understood. Albeit for different reasons, but at the core, the pain was the same. They'd both just been kids when they were hurt. Young and lost and wondering what they'd done to deserve the grown ups around them squashing them down and making them feel no better than the dirt.

He doesn't say anything, so she doesn't either. But that night, she can't sleep, and neither can he, and when she hears him shift, roll over. Curl onto his side as the silent tears start, she can't stand it anymore.

Her bed creaks as she slides out, ignoring the rough crunch of the carpet as she pads over to Steve's bed and climbs in behind him.

She crawls onto the bed behind him, stretching out. "Can I hold you?" she whispers. Steve shrugs. He doesn't care. He doesn't understand why she would want to be the big spoon to his hulking frame, but if she wants to, he won't stop her. He's too tired to. He feels her wiggle close and slides an arm over his chest, hugging him flush against her. Her palm rests over his heart and she rubs, soothing.

It eases some of the weight. Some of the ache. He breathes, shaky. She kisses the back of his neck. It's quiet for a long time.

Natasha's voice is soft and private when she speaks. "It hurts, what they did to us, doesn't it?"

Steve freezes, listening. Natasha holds on. He doesn't move her.

"Why would anyone treat children that way? Hurt them that way?"

Steve clenched his jaw, resignation in his gut. "How could you tell?"

Natasha sighs. "I put it together, more or less."

Steve nods and doesn't say anything. It's quiet here, outside the city. The world dark and lacking that telltale bustle. Steve hates it.

"It's alright that you're hurting still," Natasha continues, and Steve wants to beg her to stop, but he's too curious, too desperate for someone to see him that he doesn't. "It's okay that you're still scared. You're safe, darling... you don't have to believe that yet."

He starts to tremble.

"Shh, baby, hey," she soothes and her voice is easy to stomach. Easy to understand. "Breathe for me."

He sucks in a deep breath.

"Did they hit you in the Red Room?" he asks.

"Sometimes," Natasha says. "It was calculated, though. Discipline."

Discipline. Steve doesn't think his father meant for his hits to be discipline. They were just... correction. To get him to shut up. Or maybe so he could get his anger out.

"Breathe," Natasha reminds again. Steve takes another measured breath. "You don't have to tell me anything. But you can. I won't get it all, but I might understand."

Steve considers that. "How old were you? When it started?"

"I don't remember," Natasha said. "Very young. Four, maybe? You?"

"I don't remember either," Steve whispers, and he's furious. Suddenly, he wants to set the world on fire. For the little girl who just wanted a chance to see the sunshine, and for the little boy who just wanted to play. "Maybe the same."

They fall back into silence. Steve can feel his teeth chattering. Natasha starts humming a song, simple and soothing under her breath. He knows he doesn't have to say anything else; she understands. He lets his eyes fall shut again.

[caliburn-not-calculator]

Any thoughts on the angst potential of Legendary VR-LA? Just rewatched the episode and am curious on any opinions

Okay so this has just been sitting in my drafts and I completely forgot about it for… too long. But yes!!! I have thoughts. Sorry for how late of a reply this is

Okay so. My first thoughts are more related to everyone else rather than VR-LA himself.

The Per Aspera crew left without one of their members, the ship finally void of its longest continuing inhabitant. He never seemed to make that much noise but it is notably quieter. He had more personal effects than most of the others, and with them gone… it hollow. So dreadfully hollow.

Emi no longer has VR-LA there to guide her, raise her, teach her. The person she was begining to model herself after is gone. Dani has lost her first mate and best friend, another brother gone beyond her reach, no one to work with deep into the night or stop her from doing so. Vhas who would usually stop by VR-LA’s room to antagonise him finds nothing but silence on the other side of the door, no lighting or snark at his back in battle. Kyana stargazing with no wizard pointing out his favourite constellations and telling her their stories. Finbar has one less serving to prepare (he always forgets, and they end up with extra food).

He’s not dead, they have that at least, but he isn’t there. Perhaps sometimes he can visit. Every few months he’ll appear at the Sprite Spring, or standing in the doorway to the Per Aspera’s common room. Seemingly out of thin air, and vanishing much the same. There isn’t enough time. It’s hard to accept that there never will be.

On the sanctum his loss his somehow felt more acutely and subtly simultaneously. They were already used to not seeing him for long periods. They had adapted to communicating via infrequent sendings and letters, but this is different. VR-LA rarely has time for even that much anymore. C-RA has lost another friend, someone else she couldn’t and can no longer protect. K-LB, whose brother was taken from him in memory and then finally returned, finds that closed gulf suddenly tearing open. Things keep changing… he wishes things would stop changing. AS-TR takes it better than most, there is a pride in the way she regards the situation, she is glad to see her friend go so far yet still finds herself melancholy at his absence when they’d had so little time together. E-DN tries not to be angry at him, or Mystra, or anyone else. She’s been trying to cut down on those emotions, but still, things end up broken when she hears that he is, one way or another, gone.

Maxim is… complicated. He feels betrayed, he is angry, and somehow he is relieved. VR-LA was meant to step back, he was meant to stay safe, they were meant to have… something. It seems the gods can’t help but take what he loves. Greedy and uncaring, keeping those he loves from his reach. The one solace he has is VR-LA is alive. He is safe. He is still out there somewhere and Maxim still may see his face, and for that he suppresses what might be rage. He was so used to feeling either grief or nothing, the way his gears are wrenching at the injustice is a new feeling.

As for VR-LA. He saw himself growing old, settling down, living a long and full life with the friends he has found and freed.

He doesn’t know if he can grow old anymore.

But he does know there is no settling. He was meant to step back, but instead he has stepped up. Balancing on the precipice of something beyond mortality and terrified of what it could mean. Terrified that the choice he made to save his friends may lead to him losing them. Time and existence doesn’t work the same as it once did. He may outlast them, out pace them, become something so much more than them that he can no longer be who they care for.

What he can do is watch. Only occasionally, but more often than he can visit. A simple scry to look over his friends, to ensure they are well. Eventually he finds that he can even bestow minor boons. Gift them with echoes of his magic to aid in their adventures in ways he can no longer. To remind them he is still there. That he still cares.

To ask they please not forget him. To not abandon him as a memory or a tragedy. To pretend that maybe, things aren’t so different than before.

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 40

Another Milestone! I didn’t really do anything super special for this one though Last one that’s like that though! I swear!

One thing I’ve never touched with Junko is her various personas that she uses to avoid her boredom, the various designs that come with them. And to get the potential disappointment out of the way this is the only pic in the whole project that I use those with. I just never had any other ideas with them and wasn’t fully sure I could even pull them off properly. 

That said I knew I should draw them at least once. So I drew all of them. Or at least the notable ones. I admittedly would not be opposed to doing something else with this concept though, just a bunch of Junko’s running around and one Mikan who is not mentally equipped to handle that amount of girlfriend. Typing that out right now has me feeling inspired, which is unfortunate because I’m writing this on Day 26 (which will be Day 27 in a few minutes), and we all know i’m not gonna let myself draw that until this pic gets posted.

If I had to say which ones were my favorite to draw in this picture, The Queen Junko was really fun to draw for the posing and expression, but my actual favorite would be Sad Mushroom Junko (are there actual names for these), her hair was really, really fun to draw and this is like the only opportunity I have to draw Sad Junko.

Also this is, such a fucking weird fun fact to put in here but it’s a Milestone so I might as well pad out the text a bit. Mikan’s reaction (which was REALLY fun to draw by the way) being described as “.exe crashing” is a jerma reference. 

Timestamped Clip here

I do not know why, but the way he says “.exe crash” just makes me laugh, so I just like to throw the phrase in whenever I get an opportunity. 

And oh yeah, background Irumatsu. I would have thought of a way to force Maki in there as well because I ship that polycule, but I kept things simple. Junko threatened Miu, Miu makes cloning gun, boom, shenanigans ensue, most of which involves Mikan getting kissed.

God dammit i really wanna draw more of this now, fuck. I’m getting comically angry that I have to wait to do that now. This is the cloning AU now, fuck it, there's slightly more balance in the amount of non-vampire au art in this fuckin project.

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[pfangirl]

SAAMMM! Why we really should be excited for Season 2 of Tomb Raider: The Legend of Lara Croft

Honestly, as exciting as it’s been to learn that a second season of Netflix animated series Tomb Raider: The Legend of Lara Croft is on the cards; that it will in fact feature a team-up between former best friends archaeologist Lara Croft (voiced by Hayley Atwell) and documentary filmmaker Sam Nishimura (Karen Fukuhara); and that their pairing will revive the decade-old Salara/S.S. Endurance ship regardless of how things actually pan out romantically for the young women…

The greatest thrill actually stems from the fact that Season 2’s first promotional image reveals Lara and Sam glaring at each other. No grateful reunions shown, there’s clearly a lot of unresolved tension between the duo. And with a mountain of issues to scale, it feels safe to say that there’s going to be a lot of meaty emotional content paired with the show’s globe-trotting action. As in Season 1.

Before jumping into that, though, it’s worth remembering that Tomb Raider: The Legend of Lara Croft is playing fast and loose with the lore established in the games (if you take Roth’s revised depiction as an indication), and apparently acting like the tie-in comics and novelisations don’t exist at all. It’s therefore unclear how much of existing canon will filter through into Season 2.

That said, we can assume the former best friends aren’t on speaking terms – even if the series chooses to ignore Sam’s off-screen psychiatric hospitalisation twice(!) for Himiko possession, and a kidnapping or two.

Officially, if we stick to the games alone, we know that in Rise of the Tomb Raider, Sam wouldn’t talk to Lara even if her doctors would let her. By the time of Shadow of the Tomb Raider, Sam is communicating with Jonah again, but Lara simply wasn’t returning her calls. At a certain point after that, we can assume Sam gave up on reconnecting if Lara wasn’t making the effort from her side.

So yes, Sam Nishimura has every reason to be pissed, for two very good reasons.

Lara Croft is a terrible friend

The whole of Season 1 of Tomb Raider: The Legend of Lara Croft is Lara learning to get over her isolating tendencies; to treat the people who care about her with simple respect, like actually asking for help instead of treating it as a given, and communicating her actions instead of simply running out on people.

With Sam, the ghosting has been especially brutal because out of all the Endurance crew, Lara’s bff experienced the most trauma on Yamatai next to our title hero. Sam was betrayed by both Mathias and Whitman, set up to be burnt on the stake, violated by the invading soul of Himiko, killed cultists in self-defence, and before all that, she pulled strings (via her wealthy treasure-loving uncle) to fund the expedition when investors pulled out. Lara may have provided the directions to the island, but trust fund baby Sam made it happen, making her as culpable for the deaths and disaster as Lara.

The two friends could have found solace in their shared experience, but Lara is so wrapped up in her own guilt and pain that she never once asks Sam how she’s doing. As Reyes jeers back on Yamatai, “It’s always about Lara.” Back then, Sam instantly replied with a “That’s not fair,” but a few years down the line, that reaction is probably no longer the case. This after the pair were clearly each other’s biggest cheerleader, their ride or die, believing in each other and supporting each other’s dreams – typically when no one else did.

It’s notable in Tomb Raider: The Legend of Lara Croft that Lara reacts with especial prickliness when Jonah tells her to talk to Sam instead of using him as a message middleman. As soon as Sam’s name comes up, Lara immediately cuts off the conversation and closes her manor door. And when Lara briefly does calls Sam in the season, it’s solely for her own cathartic purposes. Again, there’s no asking how Sam is doing; it’s all about the “I” that is Lara. As a far more empathetic, less emotionally stunted person, it’s likely Sam will have picked up on the friendship imbalance. And, as a less easy-going and patient figure than Jonah, it’s not a stretch to say that her resentment has been quietly building towards Lara. For very good reason.

Sam isn’t a damsel in distress

This is the biggie. Sam clearly has a chip on her shoulder about being considered useless or inconsequential in comparison to Lara. While the topic is the source of her biggest argument with Lara in the Dark Horse comics – in the Queen of Serpents arc – it even surfaces briefly in the 2013 game when, before a mishap with a mounted machine rifle, Sam is in the process of explaining how Lara isn’t the only one who can be helpful.

The thing is, while Sam may label herself “a ditsy American troublemaker with a camera” in one of the 2013 game’s collectible documents, the reality is that she has kept pace with Lara Croft for years. As equals.

We should never forget that Sam and Lara had multiple “awesome adventures together” in their college years – backpacking, hiking, climbing and exploring the world. And as much as she’s shown enjoying the finer things in life, Sam is revealed to be as serious about work as she relishes play, having already filmed in some of the world’s most extreme environments, including the Arctic, Red Desert and volcanic regions. This attitude, in combination with her extroverted party girl nature, actually positions Sam closer to Classic Lara than the latest iteration of the character.

In 2013, Sam escapes the sinking S.S. Endurance on her own, and later steals a radio to communicate with Lara. In every one of her appearances in Tomb Raider media, barring the Ten Thousand Immortals novel, she’s proven to be driven, spirited, brave and resourceful, whether she’s fighting off an attacker with cupcakes, sassing her itchy-palmed kidnappers, defending herself against a shark, or stabbing herself to finally escape the presence of Himiko (all in the comics). That last one is especially important as Sam ultimately saved herself; not Lara.

Sam’s master improviser and problem solver status is even apparent in the first released image for Tomb Raider: The Legend of Lara Croft Season 2. While Lara is fully kitted out to face whatever is behind the door, Sam seems to be wielding an oversize lock or something similar. If Lara is Fred Astaire, Sam is Ginger Rogers because she does what Lara does… but essentially backwards.

As for why Sam is investigating the black market artefact trade, well, it could be to make a point to Lara, who has consistently sidelined her since Yamatai. Or, it could simply be that Sam is following a great story, in keeping with her professional ambitions; her own hunger for the truth – which once again mirrors her best friend’s primary drives.

As a side note, as we don't hear the conversation, we do maybe have to question if Sam actually called Lara in the final episode of the S1? Though it's likely it was Sam (reaching out to her previous savior in desperation, knotted up in complicated emotions regarding her own capabilities), it could also be a trick from a third party to get the brilliant archaeologist on the case.

Either way, given that Sam and Lara have a very different dynamic to Lara and Jonah, with the latter providing protection, reassurance and stability, Season 2 of The Legend of Lara Croft should have quite a different tone. Get the popcorn ready because if Season 1’s deep dive into Lara’s psychology was any indication, we’re going to get front row seats to the resurfacing of all of Lara and Sam’s resentments and other… pent-up feelings. Finally, after over a decade of dodging the issue.

We just have to keep fingers crossed that they’re both alive and reunited in some capacity at the end of it all. If Indiana Jones and Nathan Drake can have figures like Marion, Sallah, Elena and Sully backing them up in their adventures in various capacities, why can’t Lara Croft?

[simply-a-moth]

i had a dream that i asked toby fox in person if he would post a rap battle on spotify and he said yes

[ahalliance]

how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another

[nabaath-areng]

Whenever I feel bad about symptoms from my illnesses, I think of my sibling's horse growing up, whose name was Batman and who was so allergic to grass he had to be wrapped up like a christmas present every summer to prevent rashes. I don't know if that makes me feel better exactly, but if Batman could cope and continue to mosey around like the gentle old man he was, then maybe I can cope with being completely bedridden certain days.

[mumblesplash]

season 9 has been amazing but i’m kinda excited to be around for the beginning of a hermitcraft season, they were well into the empires crossover arc when i started watching double life (which was pretty much my introduction to mcyt in general) so this is gonna be my first time actually being around for the early game

[hobgobbin]

I wonder if the reason they gave Tyr both hands in GOWR is because with the giant’s prophecies the depictions of him (figure with a helmet, beard, and spear) are actually supposed to be Kratos (has beard and spear at least by the end of the game) and it would be Too Obvious the difference between them if prophecies involving Tyr were missing a hand and the ones that are supposed to be Kratos have both

[welcometoteyvat]

rewatching fontaine quest and like our first impression really is "wow these people are all theater weirdos" huh