#there was probably someone i couldve talked to about this but i was barely aware of anything happening aroud me let alone the concept

[crunchycrystals]

i think ive mentioned this before but like i cannot stress enough how fucked up i think it is that i started dissociating at such a young age and continued that for months and never realized

[butwhatifidothis]

On the note about how claudes writing in hopes is just fucking horrific and well feels pretty racist. i just did not like how they enforced the whole "he's actually a schemer therefore he's a backstabbing asshole" on not JUST a brown character but a brown character who's inspiration is from west asia aka the middle east which its a pretty standard stereotype used in the west

this is gonna go slightly personal but i myself am middle easterner by birth and three houses claude felt like a breath of fresh air on a more positive depiction of a west asian inspired character (even though i was kinda curious if he rlly was super sus or not lol) and then seeing he's willing to call out almyran bandits who are posing as the navy in alois and shamirs paralouge just felt. nice yknow that hes gonna go and tell to their faces that "your pillaging and plundering is the reason why we're getting shit on" and he's not a bloody conquerer and more "ok i just want people to get along and not be judged from where they come from" and hes more neutral between the two lords in a sense like it just FEELS NICE because i live in a region that 2/3 of the place is in SHAMBLES and we rarely get positive rep in media. and hes kinda the reason how i slowly started to embrace my culture after years of internalized racism. plus theres some aspects in his design, his real name 'khalid' and the instrumentals of his theme "golden deer and the crescent moon" just felt so familiar to me (plus adding nader whos name means rare or unique in arabic and he just looks like how i imagine gilgamesh would look like in an anime lol its kinda funny)

so you could imagine how fucking appalling it was for me to witness this shit in golden wildfire. like "yeahhhh lets make him out of character and make him sort of appease the empire and collaborate with them" like this ALREADY gave me bad vibes. like ok im fine with him making treaties and plans that could be risky. thats how strategies goes. but going on and try to invade another nation because you forcefully want them to surrender someone you want to get rid of because itll end the war apparently. thats not the man who said something about wanting change but does not agree on CONQUERING AND UNNECESSARY BLOODSHED . like ok i get he might not like rhea too much at first but he couldve just what he does best in three houses is probably idk TALK HER ON WHY FODLAN IS SO ISOLATIONIST??????!?. like im trying to like some aspects thats making him slightly different but i just CANT. dont get me started on how dirty almyras been portrayed in hopes. like i can acknowledge VW having writing issues (its my first route and i still enjoy the interactions) but having GW as your first route because haha im biased was just "ok so we can just. oh. OH NO". and before anyone goes around saying this means i hate edelgard. i dont. nor do i adore her. im pretty neutral about her (gasp this almost sounds completely impossible to some knuckle heads) but i feel like there was prolly some restraints to her writing. and i DESPISE this fandom when they try to say "oh if you like claude like this then you like dimitri" or "oh if you like claude that way then you like edelgard".

how about shut the fuck up and enjoy the fact hes trying to be different than the two because there are claude fans that like both dimitri and edelgard and others just dont care because its not their business. stop thrusting us into this dumb shit like we're just a status type to be harassed for these two characters. theres so many other things i wanna say but frankly im too tired

anyways this was long so tldr; claude deserved better. thank you for coming to my ted talk

It's just. Not good.

Like I said, I always try to give writers/creators in general the benefit of the doubt when something like this happens, since it's entirely possible that they weren't aware of what exactly it is they're writing. But that doesn't mean that the end result still isn't something that, bare minimum, is very upsetting to the groups of people involved. I’m so sorry that Hopes made you so uncomfortable, after 3H had finally given a character that deviated from such shitty tropes.

Because, like, say what you will about Almyra's writing in 3H - how they weren't fleshed out, how they already had some uncomfortable aspects to them (like invading for literally no reason) - but at the very least they didn't actively engage in pillaging. That was never once implied to have been something that they did, so the fact that Hopes just randomly throws that into the mix is... Not Good. Very Bad, in fact. Especially when combined with Hopes lack of any mention whatsoever about the Gonerils taking Almyran soldiers as slaves to work for their household (and the abuse the Almyrans suffer while being there), and when combined with how it’s a Fodlan (white) character who has to tell the naughty little Almyran to not plunder. Say what you will about 3H's depiction of Almyra and how untouched it was, that doesn't mean that Hopes had to make the Almyran King so incompetent at his job as to be genuinely dangerous - literally anyone with Nader's favor could manipulate him into signing off anything they want like Clyde does. Shahid is an entirely new character! They had all the free reign in the world to make Shahid damn near anything (within reason), and they make him... a stupid, power-hungry, violent invader. And nothing else. Again, "attribute not to malice" and all that, but to straight up ignore the troubling new additions Hopes gives to Almyra - some, again, with NO backing from 3H to explain them at all - isn't the right way to go about it either imo.

I've talked at extensive length about the absolute character assassination Claude went through in the majority of the game, but holy fucking shit am I with you on that stupid take. "The only people who hate Hopes!Claude/think Hopes!Claude is OOC are Dimitri stans" because apparently only Dimitri stans are able to see Claude's lack of curiosity or intellect, or how his newfound proclivity to use violence first and thinking second is diametrically opposed to how he ever acted in 3H, or the inherent contradiction in "Claude's goals are to better foreign relations, now watch as he actively uses and worsens Faerghus' foreign relations with Sreng for his own gain," or how him bringing up the war between Faerghus and the Alliance that happened centuries ago as an excuse to invade Faerghus now is ANOTHER thing that literally completely goes against the entire point of his character. Claude fans would of course obviously no-brainer know that these mutually exclusive traits between his 3H and Hopes renditions could totally for-realsies surely coexist and be consistent.

Although, ngl, I myself have said that it's mostly Edelgard fans that like this rendition of Claude. Not that there's no way a Claude fan couldn't at least find some things to enjoy about Hopes!Claude, but that it seems that a laaaarge majority of his fans are people who prefer the lady lord over him. And, well, it makes sense considering that a big thing a lot of Edelgard fans - not even just stans tbh - tended to do with Claude is just make him Edelgard's snarky yes-man who just mindlessly believes whatever it is she says... and, well, Clyde is either just a snarky yes-man to Edelgard who just mindlessly believes whatever it is she says, or he's getting chewed out/killed for going against her. Unless it's AG! ...where by the time Claude is having any part in the story Edelgard is no longer the actual threat anymore and is just a puppet of Thales. In the route where he doesn't ever actually directly confront her at any point. Clyde is almost a typical case of how Claude would be written in, like, an Edel///claude fic or something like that.

Man am I so glad for those leaks because if I had gone into GW completely blind like I intended to then OOF I would’ve been incomprehensibly pissed. Not just at the OOC writing, but, just, everything about it, once the second part hit - KNOWING about what happens with Faerghus and Sreng didn’t make actually sitting through it any more bearable, just because Clyde and the GD in general were such massive fucking penises to the people they were LITERALLY INVADING AND KILLING THE PEOPLE OF, so diving in without the heads up might’ve made me spontaneously combust. Without even going into how utterly against Claude’s character it is to do that in the first place, or the not-lowkey racist aspects of how certain things were handled, GW is such a sludge to play through if you’re paying even an iota of attention to the story.

I can definitely get the frustration in getting kinda the tug-of-war treatment from the fandom lmao, where Claude isn't so much Claude than he is "like Dimitri" or "like Edelgard" in this-or-that way. Now, I certainly understand - and partake in - the occasional comparison, just because there are some ways Claude is akin to/different from Dimitri and Edelgard that are genuinely interesting to me. But, like, to use your phrasing as an example: there's like, literally 0 people who ever say "if you like Dimitri in this way you like Claude." The other two aren't ever used as, like, a barometer or some shit to gauge whether you like Claude, while that is in fact how Claude ends up being used in the fandom a good bit of the time. Cuz apparently you can't, just, like, be a Claude fan or anything lmao.

In general Hopes made it... not the most fun to be a Claude fan :/ Glad I could give ya a place to vent because I know that there’s a lot to vent about lol

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Ships and Shells (Pt.2)

-------------------------

Virgil was already aware he wasnt the best tracker of time, but this was getting ridiculous. How long had he been trapped here? Two? Maybe three weeks? Was it more? Was it less? He couldnt tell, all he could count on to tell time was the appearance of Roman with trays of food at exactly six in the morning, noon, and six at night.

"So I take it we're still not close to land hm?" Virgil growled as he heard footsteps yet again.

But then he realized, these were different, these were heavier.

"Ah, Mr. Duke." Virgil said with a smirk and a snarl.

"Now your highness I know you dont like me but downgrading my title so harshly? Have you no heart?"Remus said, faking hurt.

"Nope, not one," Virgil responded, which, oddly enough, earned him a laugh from Remus' end.

"Aaawwweee, you poor thing, it must be so hard to breathe," Remus purred, Virgil rolled his eyes.

"What do you want." Virgil said lowly.

"We're almost to the next town, so we need to establish some rules," at this, Virgil straightened up slightly, this could be it, his chance at escape.

"There will be guards on all exit points, and no other ropes will be far enough down to reach, so dont plan anything stupid," Remus said, Virgil smirked slightly, pitiful, he thinks ropes being a little high up is going to stop me he thought.

"You will only be allowed in the main part of the ship, not the cabins, those are reserved for crew members," Remus continued, that was probably a given, but Virgil would find a way to break that rule to.

"And finally, Don't. Touch. Anything." This last rule was said with such aggressiveness that it nearly caused a shiver down Virgil's spine, he felt mildly betrayed by that.

"Is this understood?" Remus said coolly, Virgil merely nodded in response.

"I meant for you to respond verbally, your highness," Remus said.

"Understood." Virgil said, slowly regaining his composure.

"But, I do have one question," Virgil said, turning slowly.

"And that is?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"If I cant touch anything," Virgil wrapped his hands around the bars of his cell, "then I've broken rule three every day since ive been here," Virgil smirked.

Remus stared at him for a few moments, dumbstruck, or at least, Virgil hoped he was.

"I meant, dont touch any items outside of your cell, floor and walls are fine, but no papers, books, ropes, wheels, candles, none of it," Remus said. Virgil ran the phrase over and over again in his head to try and find some type of loophole, but when none presented itself, he went quiet. He watched as Remus produced a key from his pocket and began working the lock on Virgil's cell.

Virgil rushed out nearly immediately after the gate swung open, half expecting Remus to grab him and shove him back. But no such moment came, soon he was out in the open air, the scent of salt water enveloping him, the feel of the breeze on his skin was almost comforting now.

"Keep him alive, please." Remus stated to the guards. Virgil watched as he, Roman, and Janus, jumped off the boat, each dragging something behind them.

And then Virgil was left with two guards on each side of the boat, standing beside the openings that would allow for Virgil to rush off onto the mainland. But he'd worry about that later, the twins and the snake were still all to close for him to run for it now, so it was unsafe for him to attempt anything just yet.

So he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

For what seemed like years, he waited.

And finally, he noticed a slip up, and once he did, it was showtime. He knocked the closest desk over and waited for the guards to attempt to restrain him, only to sneak under their arms and rush out through the now open exit.

He landed with a thud on the harbor, and ran into the town as fast as his legs could carry him. He ignored the shouts from his captors, ignored the staring, ignored everything that was keeping him trapped in that ship.

The buildings in this town were a lot smaller, and there was no wall around the outside. The docks were lined with shops, jewelry and clothing and all sorts of other things hung from booths and lay on counters. It was then that Virgil realized, he didnt have money. Lucky for him, most of the people in the crowd were nearly a foot taller than him, which made it much easier to snag a cloak and an apple from the booths on which they lay.

This was alright for a while, until he ran into other people. Though in this case, the couple seemed far to focused on each other to even realize he was there, until the shorter man, dressed in light blues, with a grey scarf and cap on his head, broke away from his partner and turned in Virgil's direction.

"Oh dear- my apologies- didnt see you there-" said the shorter of the two.

"That's the idea," Virgil said quietly, this earned a worried expression from the first boy, the second, dressed in a blue long sleeved shirt with a black bandana around his neck, merely seemed intrigued.

"Are you hiding from someone? Is everything alright?" The first man stepped forward a little, cautiously.

"Oh yeah it's great, been stuck in a pirate ship cell for like two weeks with nothing to go off of but cryptic messages but its fine!" Virgil exclaimed with a sigh, barely caring about the fact that he didnt even know these people.

"Oh dear- that must've been awful," said the first boy.

"You'll have to excuse him, hes never actually interacted with pirates before," said the second boy, fixing his glasses.

"And you have?" Virgil said, looking him up and down.

The boy quirked his mouth slightly, into a sort of half-smirk that he couldnt quite finish.

"Former Lord Admiral Logan Sanders, at your service," Logan said, bowing slightly. Virgil's eyes widened slightly, he pulled the cloak further over himself. If Logan had been in charge of ships at one point, he likely knew about Virgil, and he had no plans to go back to the castle either.

"Nice to meet you," Virgil replied.

"And this is my fiance, Patton Boleyn," Logan said, gesturing to Patton, who gave Virgil a wave and a nod.

"Nyx," Virgil said plainly, though the word felt like bile as he tossed it out, it was the safest thing he had for now, but he certainly didnt want it.

"Oh have I been getting it wrong then? I couldve sworn the queen called out for a Virgil when we brought you on the ship," Virgil froze as he heard Remus' voice, and then he ran. He didnt care where he was going or how long it took to get there, but he wasnt staying on that ship, nor in that castle. He could hear footsteps racing after him, the sound swinging and wind blowing through the air.

And then again, cold metal pressed against flesh.

And then he woke up back where he'd started, a cell with wet wooden planks and a falsely comfortable looking bed.

Only this time he wasnt alone, this time he heard crying, and yells, fury like he'd never heard before.

"Oh quit whining, we're not going to hurt any of you, but we cant have you running off to tattle on us, now be a good prisoner and shut it," Virgil snarled as he heard Remus' voice, he was beginning to hate it, hate every joke that fell from his lips, hate the way he twirled that stupid mustache of his when they talked, all the flirting and the compliments, it was like the captain thought he was to foolish to see what was really going on!

"Ah! Our perfect prince has awoken from his slumber, now tell me Virgie, did you really think it would be that easy to escape?" Remus said, leaning on his morningstar and flashing a grin.

Virgil was about to open his mouth so he could tell Remus where to stuff it, when suddenly, he began to feel sick. Not just a fleeting sickness, either, no, this was like someone had set his insides on fire. He held back the screams for a few seconds, and was surprised to find a worried expression make it's way up Remus' face when he let loose.

"JANUS! MEDIC!" Remus turned and rushed out of the cell room.

Virgil couldn't tell what happened next, because one second, he was curled in a corner and clutching his sides from pain worse than anything he'd ever experienced before, and the next, everything was swirling away into a deep blue and black, almost like a dream.

----------------------------------------------

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[kamikui]

Onmyoji Movie

HI so I watched the Onmyoji Movie based off of the game last night and . . . . that sure was something!

In all honesty despite the weird path they decided to take, I actually enjoyed the movie. The music and detail in the scenery was amazing, I LOVED the costuming for a lot of the background characters esp in the Demon Realm, and a lot of the easter eggs that were hidden were nice. 

BUT. but. As someone heavily invested in the lore of the game (especially concerning Ibaraki) how they decided to deal with the movie was like. really confusing. It genuinely felt as if NE gave the directors a cast of characters and let them do what they wanted from there w/o any prior knowledge of the game.

(spoilers down below)

Before I really pry into that though, I’ll kinda note some of the characters.

Seimei/Qingming was actually my favorite. I think this is sort of an unpopular opinion right now, but his characterization was so nice even if it sorta leans into the basic drama hero type personality. In the game Seimei is supposed to be you/the player, and not everyone is going to have the same interpretation of him-- and that’s what the movie felt like, a different interpretation. I will say I didn’t really like them making him related to their version of Orochi. I believe the snakes name was Xiangliu? I can’t remember, but I didn’t see the reason in that. 

If anything, keeping him a fox and having a version of Tamamo no Mae popping up to offer advice to help with the situation would’ve been nicer, and that’d keep more of Seimei’s backstory kept in tact-- because asides from him becoming an Onmyoji apprentice at a young age we literally do not know shit about him. And legit I wouldn’t necessarily mind bc it’s a movie, you’re not going to get everyone’s backstory within 2 hrs, but we can’t really get attached to him.

Yao Bikuni/Baini was. Hm. I like her as a character in the movie, but I don’t like where she’s placed as a character in the movie. She’s a Seer? in the game and tbh it should’ve stayed that way, like I honestly can’t see her willingly working for one clan. “But how would she--” In game she is also influenced by Seimei pretty heavily, as in the in game chapters she believed he would be able to kill her. Up until she got manipulated by Orochi, she stuck to his side. With the Stone plot in the movie, if it put him in danger she would be there in order to try and help him, OR, try and pull him to join Orochi if they went that route. And they KINDA tried to hint at it when Seimei “died” with Orochi using her image, but like. come on man. Let Yao be evil for a little bit.

That being said I didn’t like the Master & Shikigami bit with those two, or the implied romance they tried to pull with them. Canonically Seimei legit brushes her off and when shes like “ohhh you’ll kill me right” hes like “lol sure” and thats IT. Literally any form of romance that’s tried at Seimei he brushes it off. he’s not into it he’s an amnesiac.

The “Oh if you become my shikigami you won’t become evil” thing was :/ to me as well because again, canonically, even though Seimei is being taunted he can contain the Kitsune part pretty well even when he wasn’t aware he was kitsune. Like I think the part as a kid was a good bit to add since it’s when he’s first being exposed to Onmyoji type stuff, but like. idk idk I couldn’t vibe with that power dynamic while they were trying to hint romance.

Continuing on with Hiromasa/Yuan Boya and Kagura/Shenle, again considering this is a movie, I’m somewhat content with their characters.

I really liked how energetic this Kagura was, and given they weren’t able to do her actual backstory, I liked the one she was given. Her introduction in the movie was really great too-- and compared to Hiromasa I felt they gave her a little more attention? Which like fine, but not so good for Hiro.

They didn’t even. Discuss his archery skills at any point which was disappointing. The most plot relevance he (and honestly Kagura too) had was finding Seimei while trying to arrest him but that’s it. And yes they showed some of his skill while he was fighting Kamaitachi, but that’s the extent of it. AGAIN i’ll consider the fact this was a movie and they didn’t have enough time to fit EVERYTHING in, but since they gave Yao and Seimei so much attention you would think they’d be able to spare some for the other two protagonists in the game. 

Before I leave those two tho I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck happened in the end. Like did hiromasa get promoted in some form? was he given credit for what happened between the demon realm? Why did he separate from Kagura since they got close during the movie? I guess like bc work duties but still. I have no idea tho like i was sitting there not processing a single thing. Regardless I did like Hiro and Kags acting like siblings despite in this canon them not being related (at least it’s never clarified).

Ok so before I dive into the whole mess that is the Cimu/”Ibaraki” character, stuff on side characters.

While I didn’t like the outfits for Sakura(? Momo? Both of them?) or Chocho, I liked the roles that they held as sort of trainers for the rest of Seimeis shikigami. In fact I liked the whole courtyard ordeal in general. I have my own worldbuilding thing that has a similar theme so seeing it being used canonically was pretty nice. I do wish we could’ve seen more SSRs or even SRs though. Like, why couldn’t Aoandon be hanging out in the courtyard to give gossip to Hiro & Kagura? Yamakaze or Shishio hanging out in the forest, or like. bruh even Jikikaeru as the boss in the Showdown considering he runs that in game. 

I did like the fish man! I really did, but literally everything about him could’ve been Jikikaeru, I don’t think it’s that hard to make a frog man. 

Also as mentioned previously it would’ve been nice to see Tamamo make an appearance considering he makes random ones every now and then. The Mujou Brothers could’ve helped the shikigami when they were escaping Seimeis courtyard, Shiranui could’ve been an entertainer while they were traveling through the demon realm, HAKU??? couldve been one of Seimeis shiki?? literally anyone. They have all these misc characters in the background but barely any of them resemble in game characters.

GOD EVEN KOSODENOTE COULDVE BEEN THERE . . . . at the scene where Kagura was messing with jewelry and clothing . . . Koso couldve been the seller. Aobozu could’ve worked at the shrine . . . . I just. Man.

ANYWAYS . . . pulling from that and going into whatever the hell Cimu is. god.

So according to casting, Cimu is supposed to be Ibaraki. But the thing is. There’s only like. 3-4 Elements about Ibaraki that goes into him. Everything else is Shuten which i honestly find pretty funny?? Take away the homophobic jokes and combine the gay coded character into his love interest. Which I mean that’s better than making them brothers but at what cost.

anyways. Cimu previously being an onmyoji but turning evil -> shuten previously being a monk and turning evil. The design of the hand that Cimu uses as transportation -> SP Shutens design where he sits on two hands. Red hair -> shuten. The horns, eye color (minus scleras), arm getting chopped off, and his ambition to grow stronger are really the only parts of Ibaraki that’s in the character-- and even then you could say Shuten has a similar ambition of growing stronger. It’s just so scuffed. 

ALSO IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. literally it doesn’t make sense when you look at the characters.

Why couldn’t they just stick with Kuro Seimei considering the fact that this Ibaraki works with Ootengus and Yuki Onna/The Snow Queen? They could’ve given Seimei a twin brother to work off of this. But like if they really wanted to keep Ibaraki and Shuten, they could’ve made it that Shuten was being manipulated by Orochi and Ibaraki was serving him, because there’s a LOT of shit you could do just with Shuten by himself. Legit no reason to combine the two since they’re BOTH heavily marketed characters. 

Legit like, Shuten being controlled, given Ibaraki’s loyalty to Shuten he would most likely follow him no matter what, and even like. Have a form of Momiji to kind of help out-- probably at a heavy expense of Shuten doing something for her, but still. like i LOVED the snow queen, I loved this interpretation of yuki so I wouldn’t want to get rid of her, but they shouldve went with Seimei 2 instead of “ibaraki”. It’s just so much and it doesn’t make sense. 

Now orochi himself and how that was handled was like. Okay I guess. If anyone was being talked to through their head at the time it should’ve been Yao Bikuni considering she allies with him in canon at one point. but like whatever. I did think the end was neat where Seimei forced him into becoming his shikigami, like I liked that whole process. Otherwise all antagonists were pretty underwhelming.

I also was not fond of the ending where like Seimei just turns away at the broken bridge. Like does this mean the Demon realm is completely cut off now? just fix the bridge. Also does Seimei just fuck off?? I know theres a scene where he’s standing on the roof but. i dont know. 

Regardless the movie was great, I had fun watching it. When ibaraki came in I accidentally paused the movie a couple of times while spamming screenshots. Even tho hes like kinda ugly but that’s ok. There WERE some angles where he was hot as hell but otherwise they did his actor so dirty. The horns were just. God I won’t delve into that bc this post is long as hell BUT. BUT. THE MOVIE WAS GOOD. just not if ure into the lore for the game LMAO.

Ok that’s it for now bye

[mythical-song-wolf]

BNHA Angst Week

Day 7: Rose // Time

White day was fast approaching and normally, after being in a relationship for so long, Izuku would be excited for that day. Because he gets to pamper and get pampered by his Kacchan.

But he can’t do that.

Why?

Because he’s back a good decade or so before he even started dating Katsuki. He’s back in middle school, a good month before the sludge villain and meeting All Might. Over a good year before he and Kacchan finally clear up that misunderstanding that was— is simmering between them since they were kids.

But Deku just wants his Kacchan, even if only for a moment. He’s knows it’s selfish. He knows it’s wrong. He knows he shouldn’t be doing things. But... the heart wants what the heart wants and Deku doesn’t know if he’ll be okay if he doesn’t at least do this.

Izuku goes out to buy somethings. He’ll need to be careful when buying it. Hopefully Kacchan doesn’t see him, he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he sees those beautiful crimson eyes again.

Katsuki stops over to class, irritated and patience waning since he woke up.

First his mom had to shout him awake, saying that her and the old man will be out to get stuff for White day and all that shit.

Second, he was reminded fucking White day was coming up. The day he was planning on asking that nerd... Before that bastard... No. He shouldn’t think of it. There’s no use thinking about it when he’s been set back by literal years. Him and Deku aren’t a thing yet.

Deku is still the derogatory nickname he used for Izuku for years. It’s not the name of a hero just yet.

Deku, to Katsuki at this point in the timeline, is a useless, Quirkless, weak pebble on the side of the road that Katsuki should not pay mind to.

But Katsuki knows better. He’s a goddamn time traveller, of course he would know better. He knows Deku has a better heart than most Pro Heroes. He knows Deku would sacrifice himself again and again and again to save someone. He knows Deku is stronger than anyone he’s ever met. He knows Deku is the name of a hero, of a Symbol of Hope.

He knows that Deku is the name that brought— will bring hope in people’s hearts. Brought— bring hope in the hearts of Ochako, Tenya, Shouto, Eri, Sir Fucking Nighteye, and various other people.

But to him, Deku is the name of the guy that was always chasing after him. The guy he’s known since they were kids. And while they were never on friendly terms before U.A.. They always had a strange synergy with each other. When they didn’t think about it they moved seamlessly and in tandem with the other.

The first time it happen outside of training and life threatening situations is after they had long since started dating and moved into the same apartment. They were making dinner one night and they weaved and moved around perfectly with the other, passing things along and moving as easily as they would in a battle. The realization that they didn’t say a word to each other during the entire time they were cooking hit them when they were eating as one of them started talking.

They paused, before they broke out in a fit of giggles. A warm fluttering in their hearts as they smiled and laughed so hard that their cheeks started to hurt and they could both barely breathe.

After they calmed down, Izuku sighed, looking at Katsuki with his shining green eyes, “I love you...” He smiled at him with his eyes shining like emeralds reflecting the colour of the sea during sunset.

Katsuki smiled back, “I love you too, dork,” He chuckled, “Now, let’s eat?”

Izuku chuckled, before nodding, “Yeah.”

Katsuki’s heart flutters at the memory, before it painfully coils. He can’t have that now. He can’t have that for a long, long time. He won’t wake up to Izuku’s cute freckled mug in the morning. He won’t come home to cuddle with Izuku on the couch after a rough day. He won’t have the cheesy but nice walks down the park or beach during sunset. He won’t have Izuku looking at him like he’s... no, Izuku already looks up to him. He just won’t have Izuku looking at him the way he looks at Izuku right now.

Katsuki goes out. He doesn’t want to— shouldn’t be home alone right now. He might do something stupid like break a window or make a dent in the wall.

Izuku was pacing through the market, a checklist in hand and a hood over his head.

“Let’s see, I need some chocolate, cream... cocoa powder... caramel... food colouring...” Izuku mutters, as he walks into a grocery store and weaves through the aisles of the store. Briefly glancing up to check the shelves for the item’s he’s looking for and picking out what he needs.

Izuku hums once he’s done, “Perfect! Now I just need to do— Oof!” He bumps into another person while turning the corner.

“Sorry—” The voice sounds familiar... probably one of his classmates... great.

Izuku shakes his head, “No, it’s fin—” Izuku looks up see pale blonde hair and crimson red eyes. His heart stops. No.

“De- Deku...” Kacchan mutters, hesitant and unsure, sounding nothing like the boy Izuku remembers him to be at this time. But Izuku doesn’t notice over the own ache in his heart.

Izuku swallows down the fear in his system, “Ka- Kacchan...”

The two just stand there for a few moments, staring at each other. As if they’re trying to find something that they have already accepted it isn’t there.

He’s not yours yet.

I know.

“We- Well, Kacchan, I- I need to go,” Izuku stutters, hopefully Katsuki doesn’t notice the crack in his voice, taking a step back before walking around Katsuki.

Katsuki breaks out of his haze when Izuku leaves, he sighs and combs a hand through his hair.

Good job, shithead. You scared him.

Shut up... He... he isn’t the... he’s not my Izuku.

Not yet.

Katsuki shakes his head, ignoring the stupidly hopeful whispers in his brain telling him to woo Izuku now and not make the same mistakes as before. He wants to, too. Oh how he fucking wants to. How much he wants to change how he treated Izuku. How much he wants to change how terrible they both were at communicating properly. How... he so badly wants to change how Izuku looks at him, with his pretty eyes staring at him like a rabbit sensing a predator. How Izuku seems to freeze the moment they lock eyes, unmoving and scared. Scared of Katsuki.

Katsuki shakes his head, telling his brain to stop, before he continues buying stuff from the store with the occasional sight of Deku’s fluff green hair.

Katsuki sees the flower display and spots a suisen.

Maybe I should...

Izuku was currently sleeping the warmth of his bed, a warm figure pressed against his back holding him close.

Izuku instinctually snuggles up closer to them, “Kacchan...”

“Mhm,” Katsuki grumbles, nuzzling his face into Izuku’s hair.

A part of Izuku’s brain jolts into awareness, you were sent back. Kacchan shouldn’t be here.

Another part, the selfish, foolish, hopeful part of his brain hopes that it’s a lies and wants this to be real. To just have Katsuki with him, right now. Let him have this. Please.

A soft voice whispers in Izuku’s eat, the warmth of their breath making Izuku shiver, “Deku... I’m not there... wake up, Deku, wake up... I’m not there, bunny.”

“Mhm,” Izuku grumbles in protest, “But you’re right here.” Izuku grabs onto Katsuki’s hand that rests on his chest.

Katsuki sighs, and it’s heavy, tired, and wary, “I’m sorry... but... I’m not. He didn’t send me back... Only you... time for you to wake up, Deku... Izuku, wake up.”

Izuku feels himself trembling, clutching onto the hand holding him close, “Please, let me have this,” Izuku begs, as he feels tears roll down his cheeks, “Just let me have him back, just this one moment. Please.”

Katsuki doesn’t say anything, but the warmth from his form is long gone now that Izuku is aware.

“I’m sorry, bunny.” Izuku can feel Katsuki’s presence fading, he turns to see Katsuki actually fading away like an illusion or a dream.

“Please... no... Kacchan... Katsuki... don’t leave me...” Izuku tries to grab some part of the fading figure.

“Please, Izuku, love, don’t cry. Please.” Katsuki places his palm on Izuku’s cheek and wipes away a few tears. Izuku leans into his touch and places his own palm over Katsuki’s, as he fades away and Izuku is left all alone.

When White Day came, Izuku and Katsuki went by the day as normal. Izuku with his isolation and notes, and Katsuki with his showboating. Neither interacting unless provoked by one of their classmates.

Lunch rolls by and the moment everyone leaves, Izuku places something on Katsuki’s desk.

Katsuki returns with his lackeys near the end of lunch to spot a box of chocolate on his desk with flowers. A white rose, a primrose, a red camellia, and a gladiolus. Katsuki looks at the box and the small bouquet for a moment, before glancing around to try and find Deku.

It couldn’t have... no. It’s probably some other idiot... but did this happen in the first timeline? Maybe I’m going a bit insane... but it could’ve only have been him...

Katsuki gently places the box and flowers in his bag.

The school day has ended, and Izuku isn’t surprised he didn’t receive anything from anyone. But it still hurts. A foolish and selfish part of him had hoped that Katsuki was sent back with him and would give him something, but Izuku knows better than that.

Upon opening his locker, a small note falls out.

‘Happy White Day, bunny~ <3

Love, your’s truly’

Bunny... Only Katsuki has ever...

Izuku’s heart flutters at the possibility.

It... it’s never bad to hope... right?

Inside his locker he finds a few more things, a small arrangement of flowers and a box of chocolates. A daffodil, a white camellia, a yellow camellia, a yellow tulip, and a blue iris that stands out amongst the brighter colours.

Izuku walks home holding the flowers and the box of chocolates close to his heart.

[just-a-dumb-gay]

Okay so I have an idea for Posie moments if Josie found out about the twin merge by accident while doing research on the Gemini coven or something along those lines.

Okay so imagine one day Josie finds out about the twin merge and is in Ric's office yelling at him and stuff. And she starts like unintentionally setting things on fire and stuff because she's so upset (but not quite crying). Penelope hears all the noise from Ric's office and goes to see whats going on. Ric is hiding behind his desk trying not to get hit by flying things and fire, while Josie isn't even aware Penelope is there. Penelope runs over and tries to calm Josie down but Josie doesn't listen. So Penelope does the only thing she can think of that is either gonna make the situation worse or calm Josie down. She grabs Josie's hands in an attempt to stop her doing anymore magic and kisses her. Josie is obviously stunned for a moment but kisses back. Just at the moment Lizzie comes in, tries not to throw up (because who wants to see their sister kissing Satan right) but then sees the mess the office is in and like magically puts out fires or something like that.

Ric comes out from behind his desk just as the Posie kiss is ending. Penelope keeps a hold of Josie's hands (just in case she made the situation worse, she'd really rather not be magically thrown across the room) while Josie looks around the room and everything finally sets in (like the fact she couldve killed her dad). After a few seconds of silence when she finally notices Lizzie and realises one of them will probably die she starts crying. Penelope is quick to hug Josie and they both wind up kneeling on the floor or something like that. So Penelope is trying to comfort Josie, like telling her it'll be okay (even though she has no idea what got Josie so upset to begin with) and gently kissing her cheek and just in general being really sweet. Lizzie and Ric have no idea how to react to the situation so they just start quietly cleaning up Ric's office while leaving Posie to have their moment.

So later in the episode (or another epispde, depending on how things go) Josie is sitting out by the lake because she wanted to be alone. But Penelope goes to check on her and make sure she's okay. It's kinda cold so Penelope brought a blanket out as well and accidentally gives Josie a small fright when she wraps it round her (because Josie was too busy thinking and didn't hear Penelope coming). Not entirely sure what to say Penelope sits down beside Josie and they just enjoy a few quiet moments. So after a few minutes Penelope breaks the silence by saying something along the lines of "By the way I'm sorry I kissed you earlier, I know you probably stopped liking me that way a while ago but I didn't know what else to do."

Josie - "If I didn't like it I wouldn't have kissed back."

Penelope - *stays silent, obviously stunned. Not the reaction she was expecting*

Josie - *nervously* "Same goes for the kiss after I was buried alive, by the way."

 Penelope - *laughing slightly* "That really doesn't sound like a sentence that should actually makes sense"

Josie - "Yeah and neither should gargoyles and walking fish men and a giant pit of goo being able to erase all memories of something."

So they end up sitting and talk about just anything and everything as if there was never any bad blood between them.

(Then probably scene change to like Hope or someone else)

So it cuts to them, still by the lake, except it's getting dark and they're both cuddled together with the blanket wrapped round them. Josie has her head on Penelopes shoulder and Penelope has her head on top of Josie's.

Josie - "Also thank you for earlier, who knows what I would've done if you didn't stop me."

Penelope - "Do you mind if I ask what got you so upset?"

So Josie sits up and explains what she knows about the twin merge, and when she's done she asks Penelope what she should do.

Penelope - "I think you should do what you want in life. Spend time with Lizzie and find a way to stop it, but don't put your life on hold in case there is no way to stop it."

Josie thinks for a minute before saying "but I don't know what I want, I thought I'd have my whole life to figure that stuff out."

Penelope - "Well, what do you want right now at least?"

Penelope looks back to the lake while Josie thinks. It doesnt take Josie long to realise there's only 1 thing she really wants.

Josie - *quietly, kinda nervous* "Well, I guess there is one thing."

Penelope - *Looks at Josie but stays silent waiting for Josie to continue*

But instead of continuing to talk Josie very gently kisses Penelope. It barely lasts a few seconds and when they both back away from it neither can stop from smiling.

They kiss again but it doesn't last because Lizzie interrupts. It's clear she's not happy with the sight but Ric wants to talk to Lizzie and Josie. Turns out the reason Lizzie was in Ric's office was cos she saw the stuff Josie was looking at about the twin merge, so she's less than in the mood to argue with Penelope.

All 3 of them go back inside to Ric's now much tidier office and Penelope is about to leave when Josie asks her to stay. Penelope being the softie she is cant say no to Josie and stays. Lizzie isn't too happy about it but Ric gives her a warning look to stay quiet since they have more important things to talk about.

-

Then it'll probably cut to someone else instead of having us hear another explanation about the twin merge since we already know about it and why Caroline isn't around and all that.

[mysteli]

Endless Summer Imperfect - Chapter 22

A/N: this chapter is a lot more chill than the last few and its more about recovery and processing. hope you enjoy!

Warning: T

Words: 9322

ES IMPERFECT TAG: @princessstellaris@mechaspirit@xo-endlessmayhem-xo @endlessly-searching-for-you@brightpinkpeppercorn@aragornesprincessgeekymamma @justboredtrash@diego-vii  @indiacater@countrymusicandncis-blog @zigortega4life@nekkidmolerat @ravengalaxia@ladyseaheart1668@endless-jake@theendofallsummers

Masterlist

Imperfect Masterlist

ENDLESS SUMMER AFTERMATH - ENDING 1  IMPERFECT  CHAPTER 22 - LOST TIME

Jake

Hmm. Jake contemplates heavily as his cerulean gaze remains glued to the television screen, where the live news is currently playing and talking about a pretty significant situation. There’s really nothing else to do as they wait in the lobby of the motel they’d found in the most secluded part of London. In truth, they are all over the news right now and it’s vital that they stay hidden. Problem is... they’ve all been proclaimed as dead. 

They all had no choice but to flee the scene when the explosion happened because as of right now, the whole world and Rourke believe that they’re dead. But no. They’re still alive and forced to be on the run. It’s nothing new for Jake and he immediately suggested that a motel would be the best idea for a place to stay, since no one ever really pays attention to rough places such as them. They walked in and asked for a room and they’ve been told to wait until their keys are ready or whatever. Bet you the locks don’t fucking work anyway. 

But the goddamn news has been exploding with their death conspiracy story, with Rourke finally revealing his face and identity to the world and acting as a saviour. He did an interview with the channels and explained the situation, stating the ‘unfortunate accident’ that took place under his own watchful eye. The world pitied him and were overwhelmed by sympathy. Now Rourke is set to appear like the one who will save them all. 

Clearly this was his plan all along. To vanquish Jake, Estela, Mike, Diego and Logan from the world and his plans. Question is, why them specifically and who knows what he’s gonna do with the rest of the Catalysts?

There’s also a huge story behind the mysterious bodies found of the Vaanti. But the world doesn’t know they’re called that. They’re just seem as these unknown creatures that were involved in the accident. Some people have even gone far enough to assume that they’re related to dinosaurs. What the fuck?

To top off the stress of everything, Diego hasn’t been talking much due to the fact that he just lost the love of his life. He’s been understandingly silent and he doesn’t care to listen or respond when someone attempts to cheer him up. There’s just no point right now. He has a right to feel this way. 

Jake sure as hell felt the same when he lost Mike. Grief-struck and flooded with the belief that nothing will ever get better from there. His recovery took a long time to kick in but all the alcohol and drowning sure made it easier to numb and suck up the pain. But Diego isn’t the same as Jake. He’s not a coward and he’s so much stronger. Hopefully, the road of recovery will be a lot easier because he’s got people helping him move past this. Jake didn’t have that and now he does. His only wish is that he didn’t make things worse for Diego when Jake stuck a bullet in Lundgren’s head right in front of him because he’s aware how much Diego despises murder and death so his heart must be sinking in its own personal hell right now.

Right now, they’re the only ones at this damn motel which is great because no one will recognise them and they’ve trapped in this waiting room for god knows how long. Usually, you get the key and then that’s it but Jake has been overwhelmed by the sight of this fake news story that’s been plastered all over television. Rourke’s clearly playing a game and his plans are finally starting to pan out. Maybe the group has a small advantage with Rourke thinking that they’re dead when they really survived. It means he won’t bother coming after them so they can lay low for a while. They sure as hell cant stay in London however. 

Jake’s eyes don’t shift from the screen and the more he sees, the more his body tenses up with uneasiness. He tightens his grip on his wife as he stiffens and she tilts her head at him with concern, following his gaze over to the television. 

“Baby, you shouldn’t be watching that.” Logan urges dismissively, moving Jake’s head away from the screen by tilting his chin and forcing him to lock eyes with her. 

Jake lets out a frustrated sigh and he’s clearly offended by the way Rourke used his own death to make headlines. “It’s just fucking ridiculous, darlin’. I didn’t ask for this. Rourke has crossed the line now.” 

Logan raises his eyebrows at him, sympathising with her husband while also being slightly confused. “But, Jake... isn’t it kinda good that he thinks we’re dead since he won’t come after us that way?” She dares to ask and Jake’s flood with disbelief in response. 

He arches his head back and releases a slow exhale out of stress. “Maybe but he didn’t have to tell the world that were dead.” Jake’s mind drifts back to his family and he hates picturing the sorrowful look on their faces when they read this story and see Jake’s death announced on television. “What about my family? Fuck my traitor of a sister but... what about my mom? What would she fucking think?” Jake ends his shaky rant and closes his eyes as his doubts and fears torture his conscience. Logan leans into his shoulder and cups his cheek reassuringly.

“Jake...” 

“It’s okay, Princess. They thought I was dead before anyway. This’ll just be an confirmation.” Jake mutters, planting a kiss on his wife’s forehead and he looks her dead in her ocean eyes. “I’m just glad I’ve got you back. For good. That’s the most important thing. I ain’t ever gonna lose you again, you got that?” The seriousness of his tone is enough for Logan to nod assuringly.

“Of course, Jake. No more risk when it comes to us. I love you too much to let you go ever.” Logan speaks in a fierce tone and Jake can’t help but smirk at how sexy she’s coming off right now.

“That reminds me. I can’t remember the last time I got to touch you, darlin’. How long has it been?” Jake whispers in a husky tone, leaning in so his lips are hovering over Logan’s and she bites her lower lip as a tension gets caught between them. 

“About two months.” She answers, her body reacting as Jake grazes her cheek with his fingertips but she sure as hell wants his hands in a whole lot of other places right now.

Jake is a little taken aback by how long it’s actually been. “Damn... well how come it feels like forever when I got to...” He trails off, his cerulean eyes darkening as he takes in the sight of her and only now does he realise how much desire he’s been holding in and bottling up. This seems like the perfect time to let it out. 

Instinctively, he plants featherlight kisses from her collarbone all the way to her quivering lips and he intends to build the kiss up when it arrives but Logan keeps it brief, leaning away with a weak smile.

“Jake... be patient.” She whispers, brushing his hair out of his eyes and his eyes her incredulously in response.

“Seriously? You’re asking me to be patient. Who the fuck can be patient when it comes to you?” Jake challenges and he’s about to go in another kiss but Logan plants a firm finger on his lips and that stops him in his tracks.

“Well then you’re just gonna have to learn then, Aragorn.” Logan tells him, dragging her finger over his lower lip and shooting him an expectant smirk. She shoots a quick glance towards Diego, who is seated on another chair with his knees curled up and his hands clutching them desperately. It’s like he’s looking for someone to hold or his dreamful gaze tells everyone that he’s reminiscing. Probably on the memories of Vaaryn and that saddens Logan so much. She turns back, her smirk now replaced by a guilty frown and she drops her voice to an even lower whisper, one Jake can barely hear. “Besides... I don’t think our PDA is gonna help Diego feel better about losing Vaaryn so can you just... wait?” 

Jake looks over to Diego, noticing how depressed the poor guy and he’s suddenly hit by guilt when he realises what’s really happened here. Logan got her soulmate back but he didnt and that make him a little envious of their reunion because he wasn’t able to get one. Releasing a heavy exhale, Jake meets Logan’s eyes once more and nods understandingly, sneaking a kiss to one of her fingers and she rolls her eyes at him in response.

Finally, the owner approaches the group and hands them three keys. One room for Logan and Jake, a room for Diego and a two bed room for Estela and Mike. There were only three available and they didn’t mind sharing so that’s what happened. Seriously how is this an approved hotel?! 

The five of them gather for one more conversation before they would head off to their rooms. They each grasp their keys and a moment of silence falls over them, as if they’re taking a moment to remember Vaaryn. 

Jake sucks in a sharp breath and suddenly swerves around to face Diego, tears rising in his cerulean eyes as he prepares to speak some saddening words. “Diego... I just want you to know that... I wish I couldve gotten there sooner.” He admits and Diego rubs his eyes, shaking his head at Jake and patting him on the shoulder reassuringly.

“It’s ok, Jake. Don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault.” 

“But it could have been.” Jake counters, his hands balling into fists as his frustration with himself builds like bricks in his body. “I never told you this but... Vaaryn tried to kill himself while he was locked up. I... barely stopped him but now I can’t help but think it would’ve been better if he just... did it himself. You know, have the blood on his own hands rather than leaving it all over Lundgren.” Jake confesses and Logan wraps her arms around him in a comforting manor. Tears infect Diego’s eyes again and he can’t stop a river from pouring down his face. 

Upon hearing that, Diego hands his head, noticing how shame circles Jake like it’s haunting him. Diego exhales sharply and tries to act as a form of reassurance for the pilot who practically saved his life. 

“Jake... you just did what you thought was right, saving Vaaryn, and I don’t think you should feel sorry about that. Either way, he’s not with us anymore.” Diego mutters under his breath and Logan rushes over to wrap him in a desperate hug, trying to comfort him the best she can.

“Diego, were all so sorry we couldn’t save him.” 

“It’s alright. I don’t blame you guys.” Diego assures, burying his tearful face in Logan’s shoulder and finding condolence in his best friend. “I love you, Lo. At least I still have you.”

Logan leans away for a moment, guilt suddenly flooding her ocean eyes. “Just so you know, I wanted to save Vaaryn just as much as Jake. And I’m really sorry that...” 

“Hey, dont do that.” Diego urges, interrupting her before she can start placing the blame on herself. “You shouldn’t feel sorry for caring about the love of your life. I would’ve been the same.” 

Logan brings Diego in for another hug and they melt into a moment of true friendship. Once they pull away, Estela and Mike give Diego their own forms of reassurance before everyone starts discussing the plans for the day ahead.

“Alright. So we need a night to process everything that’s happened. Just get a goodnight’s sleep and we’ll all meet back in the morning.” Estela explains, her voice slightly strained due to her boggled mind at all the events that have happened. She was the only one that really had her head on straight during that whole rescue and her main concern was keeping everyone safe, which she almost did successfully. But so much happened to her there as well. Finding out her mother is alive and acting as one of Rourke’s puppets. Who knows what he wants to use her for? Probably his sickening excuse for an army. 

Mike glances over to Estela, sympathising with her situation and he’s almost tempted to give her a hug or act as a form of reassurance but in the end, he convinces himself to stay back and let everything sink in. He doesn’t need to add another weight on her shoulder about the question of what they are. 

“A good night’s sleep, huh? Haven’t had one of those in a long time.” Jake admits, running a hand through his greased hair. 

“Well, we gotta try. This night is a chance to recover but I know we’ll never forget about what happened in that hell of a place.” 

Michelle 

So still. Her body is so still. Quinn looks so peaceful in her deep slumber that it would be so easy to forget that she’s experiencing a life-endangering coma right now. Still, Michelle can’t seem to get her mind past that part. She probably never will, especially not while she sits here all night staring at a barely alive Quinn, who has fallen for so much over the past few weeks.

When Michelle was experiencing her whole pregnancy situation, Quinn was there for her and now Michelle believes she must be there for her. Because now it’s Quinn going through a tough time. So it doesn’t matter how many times someone comes up to Michelle and tells her to go home and get some rest because she isn’t moving until Quinn wakes up. Her mind won’t ever be at ease until she knows that Quinn is okay. It’s just not possible.

If Michelle can even be honest with herself for one moment, she’d admit that she is getting a little bit tired but she won’t let herself fall asleep. Not now. The night is at its full glory and that’s prompting Michelle’s exhaustion to start kicking in but she fights it off as much as she can. 

The bitter resentment of the disease that is trying to take Quinn’s life at this very moment is the most dominant emotion of Michelle’s right now and she can only hope and pray that Quinn finally wins the war and makes her way back to the land of the living. 

All of a sudden, the door to the room staggers open and Michelle snaps her head to idnentify the newcomer into this time of grief. She recognises the figure as Sean and she’s surprised to find him back here so soon, since she told him not to hang around and get some rest but when does Sean ever listen?

There’s a clear concern in his chestnut eyes and Michelle finds herself without any words to say to him. 

“Hey.” is all she manages to get out, trying to form the weakest of smiles but she can’t even do that with the way she’s feeling.

Sean approaches her with slight caution, especially as he takes her current weak state. He’s never seen Michelle like this before and she’s so wrecked for one person. It’s so clear what Michelle feels for Quinn and that only makes Sean feel like he’s standing in the way of something special when really he should encouraging her to look out for her health just as much as she looks out for Quinn. 

Once he reaches Michelle, Sean seats himself on the armrest of the chair, placing his hand on her shoulder and rubbing it comfortingly. He’s trying his best to be there for her but it’s so damn hard when the news of the abortion still looms over his mind. Can’t say anyone should blame him however. 

“Should I even ask if you’re ok?” Sean dares to mention, tilting his head to search her expression but he can’t see it while her head is hanging so shamefully.

A breathy sigh escapes Michelle in response and she runs a hand through her ombré hair. “I’ll be better once Quinn wakes up.” She mutters under her breath, her voice a mere whisper that Sean barely manages to hear.

At the mention of Quinn, his eyes snap over to where she lies and it’s almost painful to see her in such a sight. Sean has never really spoken to Quinn before. No one has really. She always kept to herself and never really connected with anyone, especially not the way she did with Michelle once they met. Their story has been brewing for months now and they became so close that it was set to be the most painful for Michelle when the time came for Quinn’s descent. 

“...How is she?” Sean asks yet another risky question and Michelle barely tilts her head at him, her frown faltering.

“Stable. Barely though.” Michelle responds blandly, the stress practically evaporating off her and it gives Sean an uneasy feeling. 

Sean notices how sleep-deprived Michelle is and his mind jumps back immediately to his comfort zone. Caring about other’s well being before anything else. “Michelle... you need sleep—“

“Quinn’s parents are supposed to show up tomorrow morning so I’m not leaving until they show up.” Michelle interrupts, determination flooding her features. 

“I’m not asking you to leave.” Sean corrects, stiffening as Michelle suddenly leans against his knee and he responds safely by slinging an arm over her shoulder.

“Sleeping still separates me from Quinn. And she’s not safe.” Michelle points out and that causes Sean to furrow his brows.

Come to think of it, Michelle has never actually told Sean about what’s wrong with Quinn. This is all so sudden. 

“Michelle...” 

“Yes?”

“...What’s actually wrong with Quinn? Her coma seems sort of... sudden?”

Sean feels Michelle shudder at his abrupt question but she quickly composes herself, her expression falling grim once again. “She has Rotterdam’s. She’s had it all her life. I found out a couple months back and this is the moment she’s been dreading for so damn long. This is Stage 4. A coma... and she may never wake up.” Michelle explains, her tone becoming more and more weak the more she speaks of the topic and tears swell in her eyes. 

Sympathising with her, Sean clutches her with comforting intentions, letting her cry into his shoulder and he tries to help her the best she can. That’s all Sean has ever wanted to do. Help people. Even if it doesn’t work out, he still tries but now he’s here and Michelle is someone he just can’t fix. No matter how hard he tries, he’ll never be an acceptable form of support. He’s living too closely to what’s expected of him and that’s perfection. Something he just can’t live up to. 

“I’m so sorry I asked, Michelle.” Sean apologises and Michelle just shakes her head at him with a clear defiance in her hazel eyes.

“Don’t apologise. I know how much you wanna help.” Michelle acknowledges and that’s when her mind drifts back to a memory that has become so neglected by her over her last few hours. She actually is consumed by guilt that she’s forgotten about it for too long. “I’m the one who should be apologising. I aborted our baby.”

Sean tries not to let himself be corrupted by grief then because he can’t afford to match Michelle’s vulnerability right now. This is a topic he has to fight with strength and deal with it with Michelle. 

“No. Please. I know I kinda scared you with the whole us not being ready thing.” Sean assures. 

“That’s never an excuse to kill a living thing, Sean.” Michelle counters, a river pouring from her eyes and once again, Sean realises that he’s not making this better in any way. 

Sean clears his throat and parts his lips to speak but Michelle shakes her head at him, signalling for him to let her go first, which he obliges hesitantly. Anything he says will probably make things worse anyway. 

“You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to apologise. You just have to know and remember that this isn’t your fault. It’s mine.”

“But—“

“Don’t argue with me, Sean.” Michelle says in a pleading done. Who knows if those words were meant to come out as a command but her weak, soft tone prevented that from happening. “Just accept that. Please.” 

A moment of silence and contemplation takes over as Sean tries to process Michelle’s words. She’s been through so much over the last few weeks and Sean can’t even begin to compare to how much more emotionally strong she is than him. Sean is a coward, according to him. He can’t even accept that something isn’t his fault because lately it feels like everything is. All he wants is to tell Michelle she’s wrong and console her the best he can.

Alas, he doesn’t have a choice. Sean simply nods in response and releases a futile word that is accompanied by nothing but a mere whisper. 

“Ok.” 

Logan

Logan leads Jake into their assigned motel room by the land and opens the door with her intentions already clear in her mind. She’s never been more determined in her life to prove to Jake just how much she’s missed him.  He deserves to be able to forget about everything he’s been through and just enjoy this time of peace and recovery. It may be more painful for some but Jake and Logan are finally back together and that’s something worthy of celebrating.

They’ve barely made it through the door before Jake crushes his lips against Logan’s, having not really been given the chance to fully embrace the familiarity and soft taste of her lips. The kisses are not tender and full of emotion like they were when they first reunited. No, this is pure hunger and urgency, a desperation that’s caused by their dreaded amount of time apart. It’s been too long. Way too long.

Jake slams the door shut and grips Logan by her hips, pressing her up against the door and savouring the full feeling of his lips on hers again. All his thoughts have been on her and this reunion is better than he ever could have imagined. Logan winds her arms around the back of Jake’s neck and she lets her fingers drift into his air, occasionally gripping on a few strands and stifling a groan out of him - the sound like music to her ears. 

The moment seems so perfect and they’re both so ready to melt into one another again and it appears like it’s about to come true... until Jake suddenly pulls away, barely breaking physical contact as his hand mindlessly ends up fiddling with the hem of his khaki jacket that Logan still happens to be wearing. Logan notices an uneven conflict in his eyes and she cups his cheek comfortingly.

“Something wrong?” She questions, genuine concern flooding through her ocean eyes and she’s a little taken aback when Jake lets out a soft chuckle in response.

“No... everything’s fine, Princess. It’s just...” He trails off, his cerulean eyes burning into hers as he takes in her stunning features. Jake can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that she’s really here. In his arms. “...nothing it’s stupid.” He backtracks and Logan won’t let this topic go easily.

“I’m not dropping this now. Tell me what’s wrong.” Logan urges and Jake knows he has to answer when he realises how worried she’s getting.

“It’s nothing bad, darlin’. I just... can’t believe you’ve been wearing my jacket all this damn time.” Jake finally admits, hanging his head as he lets out a breathy laugh. Logan feels her expression falling a little in response as she grips the collar of the jacket and fidgets with it.

“Guess it was the only thing I really had left of you.” Logan murmurs and Jake kisses her forehead comfortingly upon hearing that. He can’t stand seeing her sad, especially with everything she’s going through. All of a sudden, a memory ignites in Logan’s mind and her hand swiftly digs into the pocket of the jacket, retrieving a familiar item, especially to Jake. “Well... also this.” 

With that, she pulls out the compass, otherwise her Ember Of Hope, revealing it to Jake and he scans it intently, narrowing his eyes as if he’s strongly debating whether he recognises it or not. 

“A compass? What does that have to do with me?” Jake questions and Logan is slightly taken aback by his lack of memory.

“You really don’t remember?” 

“Nah. Lundgren kinda mentioned that when I remember everything, some of the memories I had when I was clueless may have gone away. Looks like this was one of them.” Jake explains, his finger grazing the compass and Logan simply nods, prepared to explain it to him.

“Well... remember everything that happened with the Ember of Hopes and all that?” Logan eases Jake into it and he nods, letting her continue. “...This is mine.” 

“Seriously? And you never told me?” Jake acknowledges, furrowing his brows. 

“No... I was kinda scared at the time.” Logan responds, hanging her head in a little guilt and Jake tilts her head back up by her chin, looking her dead in the eyes and planting a reassuring kiss on her lips. Feeling revived, she shakes the shame off and continues. “That’s not even the weirdest part.”

“What is it then?”

“After we came here, I thought it was all gone but... Jake... you had it with you the whole time.” Logan finally reveals and Jake’s eyes widen a little out of confusion.

“What? Since when, Princess?” 

“You told me you found it on the beach one day and decided it was important enough to keep. Mainly because, in your own words, it reminded you of someone you thought you used to know.” 

Jake struggles to process this. All this time there have been so many signs that him and Logan are meant to be together but what baffles him the most is how different his personality worked when he was clueless of everything. So much more careless but those little changes like finding that compass must have made his alter ego shine through. 

Logan notices how quiet Jake and she waves a hand in his face, trying to bring him back to the land of the living. “Jake? You okay?” 

Out of nowhere, a grateful grin breaks out on Jake’s features and his cerulean gaze lights up at the sight of his gorgeous wife. Before Logan can even process what’s happening, Jake sweeps her off her feet and kisses her fiercely, a determination flooding through him like never before. He steadies her by resting his hands on her thighs. She responds by parting her lips a little and wrapping her legs around his waist, as Jake begins leading her away from the door and towards the bed... if he can find it.

Jake suddenly leans away, smirking at Logan as his hands hook onto the khaki jacket. “Sorry, Lo. I know you really, really... really love this jacket... but it’s gotta go if I’m gonna fuck you right.” He teases, knocking their foreheads together and Logan just forms her own smirk in response.

“Can’t exactly argue with that then can I?” She whispers, noticing his cockiness and challenging him. Jake shrugs the jacket off her shoulders and quickly connects their lips again as they swiftly fall back into their desperate frenzy of passion.

This is just as careless and desperate as their first time. When their lives were at risk and death was an almost certainty. When they wanted nothing more than to be with each other and use their last night wisely. They were new to each other but they felt so familiar at the same time, probably because they’d done it 2139 timelines before as well. But still, they were in need of each other and they couldn’t have imagined being with anyone else in that moment. It was just about them. And now this is just about them too. 

Logan lets her hands drift all around the upper half of Jake’s body, from the back of his neck to the end of his arms. Then, she roams her palms all the way up his chest but she doesn’t exactly make it to the top because of Jake’s sudden wince at her more firm impact.

In fact, he lets out an agonised groan. “Agh, fuck!” He curses under his breath and almost drops Logan. Instinctively, she hops off him in order to give him space and he involuntarily collapses to his knees. 

Now seated on the floor, Jake runs a hand through his hair as an attempt to soothe himself. It sure as hell doesn’t work as there is a never ending feeling of seeming like he’s on fire and his right peck is on fucking fire right now. Logan sinks to her knees and swiftly rushes to his side, cupping Jake’s cheek with desperation as she searches his dazed gaze for a sign that he’s okay.

“Jake... what’s wrong?” She dares to ask, starting to fear the worst.

“Princess, it’s okay. I’m just... bruised.” Jake assures, preparing to stand up but his wound prevents him from getting back up. “Shit!”

“Bruised, my ass. You’re hurt, Jake.” Logan corrects, lifting up his shirt to examine his injury and her ocean eyes widen at what she finds.

“Seriously? You’re gonna go all doctor on me now?” 

Logan brushes off his stupid comment as she’s too damn curious about how Jake managed to get such a wound. “Jake... that’s a burn.” 

Jake finally surrenders, his shoulders slumping back in defeat. “Ok... maybe Lundgren got a bit excited with the taser.” 

“Oh my god! How is this only hurting you really bad now?” Logan wonders, her finger grazing the outline of the wound and Jake winces at her wound.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s only starting to kick in.” Jake shakes his head and an unexpected chuckle escapes him.

“Jake, this doesn’t really seem like a laughing matter.” Logan points out and that only makes Jake laugh even more. 

“The pain just had to come around at the wrong time though, didn’t it?” Jake states, throwing his head back and rolling his eyes at the world. Logan immediately catches on to what he’s saying and can’t hold back the smile playing at the corner of her lips.

“...I don’t think a shower would be that bad.” Logan mutters under her breath and Jake narrows his cerulean eyes at her, smirking curiously.

“You kidding, darlin? Water will make this sting like hell.” Jake points out and Logan realises that only after he mentions it. With that, she nods understandingly and runs a hand through her platinum hair. It’s Jake’s next words that surprise her the most. He leans in abruptly so their lips are almost touching. “But I’m sure it will be so fucking worth it.” He adds in a low husky whisper, causing Logan to bite her lower lip in response.

“You sure? It’s gonna hurt.” 

“Eh, I’ll suck it up. Done it all my life.” Jake counters, folding his arms as the pain finally dies down and he can get it his feet. A smile crosses his features when he completes the action successfully. He offers a hand to Logan and she takes it willingly, rising to her feet. Their faces remain inches apart and that’s when Logan takes a chance to inhale his scent.

As expected, it’s pure crap.

“You really need a shower anyway.” Logan acknowledges and she expects Jake to be a little offended but he simply throws his head back and laughs.

“Well you saved my life, now you can save my hygiene.” Jake points out, grabbing Logan by the hand and leading her into the motel bathroom. 

Mike 

A tension creeps into the air, infecting the atmosphere as Mike watches Estela intently since she’s been pacing around the room out of stress for about fifteen minutes. He can’t say he really blames her. Her thoughts must be souring with the amount of lies that have been told to her and only recently has she maintained her memories again so there must be around a million things haunting and taunting her right now.

Everything in that hell hole of a place happened so fast and Estela clearly got the worst mental impact, considering all the things she found out. The worst thing probably being the sight of her mother, shackled in a cage like an animal. Thats how she described it to Mike anyway. It’s clear her mother has been manipulated in some way and is being moulded to be one of Rourke’s puppets. It’s clear the bastard is doing this for revenge as well, trying to prove to her mother that you should never double cross him. He’s torturing her. Manipulating her. Shaping her into a monster and that has to be most heartbreaking thing about this.

It’s Estela’s father and her mother. In this particular situation, it’s so easy for her to choose a side since it’s undeniably obvious who the real monster is. Olivia is a victim, lost to Rourke and she spent her whole life trying to get away from him with no luck. Now she’s the one paying the price and who knows what he’s planning on prepping her for? What would he make her do? 

It doesn’t make much sense since Rourke killed all the Vaanti in the explosion and he stranded them outside for the world see and exaggerate into their worst nightmares. Everything about his plan was private but now it seems like he’s revealing it all to the world. He wants their approval. He wants their worship. He wants their power and he wants to manipulate the world so they fall on their knees at the sight of him. 

What the hell has this world come to? It’s truly sickening. 

Mike never dares tear his eyes away from Estela, who still hasn’t stopped pacing as stress runs throughout her body. Her veins are popping with frustration and her entire demeanour is revealing her greatest weaknesses. She’s barely even paid attention to Mike since they got in here.

Sure, things are guaranteed to be awkward between them since they haven’t even dared to discuss the current state of their relationship status. They never really ended things on a breakup. It was more of thinking one of them was dead and thinking the other one had eternal amnesia. 

Mike remembers playing their story all to well.

When he was brought back by Jake and the others, finally regaining his conscience, he grew a respectful bond with the fierce warrior of them all, Estela. She was always a stubborn one, protective of the others but always cautious about who she trusted. At first, Estela was extremely wary of Mike, no matter how much Jake tried to talk him up. She was all business and did her best to avoid him. 

Then things kinda escalated when Mike found Estela sitting alone on the Dorado one night. They developed a relationship of sorts but never really confirmed it. They kept it a secret from everybody else, since they couldn’t afford to face the music. It was always a lot to think of and digest. So they laid low and Mike has to admit, it was one of the best times of his life. He truly loved Estela and he didn’t admit it to her until the last second before he sacrificed himself, watching her eyes flood with an emotion he’d never seen on her. Grief. Sadness. A yearn to mourn. 

He told her he loved her…  but he never let her say it back. 

Now… he’s found Estela again and she appears the same, just as confident, sexy, fierce, cold towards all the wrong people, tough, able and always ready for a damn fight. She hasn’t changed. 

But it’s clear she may not want to continue what they and Mike has to be okay with that. She’s going through so much right now and it’s already killing him to see her so broken. He’s just so good at hiding his worries. He wants to comfort her. He really does but he fears she may push him away and shut him out. Estela is complex soul with so many sides to her and Mike can’t say he doesn’t love her because he really does. He just wants to her to have life back and with everything that’s happening, that may not happen any time soon. 

Finally, Mike breaks out of his trance and decides to say a few words to Estela or at least try and get talking to her again because they’ve been so silent for so long and have even dared to speak of their current situation.

“I’m sorry.” Mike mutters under his breath but Estela definitely heard them thanks to the deafening silence. She stiffens when she hears him speak to her properly for the first time. 

Estela folds her arms as idly as possible and leans against the wall, finally pausing her pacing. It’s painfully obvious that she’s trying to appear as calm and collective as she can. She hates when people overly worry about her. “You don’t have to apologise. Nothing that happened today was your fault.” Estela assures, clicking her tongue and processing his apology.

“I’m not talking about today.” Mike abruptly corrects, a meaningful look hinted in his chestnut eyes.

Estela furrows her brows, bewildered. “What do you mean then?”

“I’m sorry that I... left you the way I did.” Mike admits, reminiscing back to the day he sacrificed himself for the greater good and Estela’s eyes widen in complete disbelief as a reaction.

“Wait, what the fuck?” Estela reacts, slightly taken aback. “You’re really apologising for saving us. Killing Lundgren.” 

“Well, he didn’t exactly stay dead, did he?” Mike counters, shaking his head as he seats himself on the edge of his own bed. 

“Yeah? Well neither did you.” Estela bites back, running her hands through her brunette hair and sighing intensely. Clearly, she’s trying to assure Mike that she’s okay with the fact that he left the way he did but there must be a feeling deep down inside of her that’s taunting her about some sort of disapproval. After a deadened moment of silence, Estela exhales sharply and clears her throat. “...Look, you did what you had to do to help Jake... Lundgren was so close to killing him.”

Mike raises his eyebrows at Estela’s assumption that his sacrifice was only for Jake. “It wasn’t just for Jake, Estela.” 

“Oh yeah, sure it was for Logan too. She was about to get killed as well.” Estela’s guesses once more and Mike shakes his head in denial, only confusing Estela now until she finally catches on and an irritated huff escapes her. “No! Please tell me you didn’t do that for me!” 

Mike silences himself, daggers made of guilt stabbing his heart as he takes in the violent tone in which Estela speaks. Her strong gaze burns into his and she’s almost pleading with him to tell her that this wasn’t because of her.

However, his silence is all the answer Estela needs. “Mike... I’m so sick of people dying because they wanted to protect me or keep me safe. I’ve lost too many people because of the claim that I’m in danger.” Tears swell in Estela’s deep brown eyes and she can’t seem to use the skill she’s perfected her entire life... hiding her grief. “I lost my mom because she wanted to keep me safe from my father. Now look where she is, a chamber of torture becoming one of Rourke’s petty little minions. I lost my Tio because some stupid motherfucking astronaut bitch wanted to protect me from the world. And now...” Estela trails off, her desperate eyes searching Mike’s eyes frantically and she almost can’t bring herself to say the words. “...I’ve lost you.” 

“But you haven’t lost me.” Mike corrects, rising from the edge of the bed and approaching Estela, remaining at a fair distance so she still has space. “I’m right here.”

“Are you though? You don’t seem like the same man i knew on the island.” Estela points out, waving her hand up and down in front of Mike and he furrows his brows at that.

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re just... different.” Estela mutters under her breath, running a hand through her dark hair again as tears continue to pool from her eyes. “I just don’t feel the same way around you anymore. I would’ve thought that if you ever did come back, I’d care about you the same way I did before but... no. Maybe all the feelings I had before died with the man I used to know.” Mike is unsurprisingly confused at her words. Shes speaking so meaningfully, which is something Estela has never been able to do. How much has this timeline really changed her? “We’re all different people now, thanks to Rourke’s mistake. The momentary amnesia must have affected us more than we thought, especially for you since you died and came back to life. Everything about you has changed for some reason or maybe I’ve just changed. Either way... I know... I don’t... love you anymore.” 

Hearing Estela finally admit that she loved Mike is like music to his ears. But he can’t really appreciate her saying it because she’s using it in a context to tell him that he’s practically nothing to her. Like there’s no more romance to pick back up, thanks to Rourke’d experiment. Its truly saddening to Mike to hear Estela deny any chance that they can work through this.

“But I still love you. Can’t we at least try—“

“Maybe there are certain sides of love that managed to get through. Like Jake and Logan. But then maybe there are feelings that changed with the person. Like Diego’s tragic fate. All I know is that... I can’t force myself to fall in love with you again because I just know I’ll end up being the one who gets hurt again. And I’ve been through too much already, Mike. I’m sorry.” 

With that, Estela disappears into the bathroom, leaving Mike loveless and empty. What the hell is she talking about? Still, Mike has no excuse to argue with her. She has these insane theories about what’s happened painted in her brain and he won’t be able to change her mind on it. But no matter what, Mike knows he’s never gonna stop loving her. And maybe she’ll come through eventually. 

Jake

Jake still can’t fucking believe it. His Princess is truly back in his life. For good. Hopefully for good anyway but Jake isn’t gonna dare allow his thoughts to drift into dark places tonight. No. Tonight is about him and Logan and proving to her just how much he loves her, which he has done successfully, judging by the satisfaction painted onto her expression as they fall back onto the motel bed.  

It’s crazy to think that sex with Logan is just as memorable as it was the first time. When they wanted nothing more than to be with each other in that moment and now here they are, what seems like forever later, still feeling like the fireworks are a brand new feeling. They’re truly soulmates and no one can even dare deny it anymore. It’s not a suspicion or a theory. It’s a fact. They’re meant for each other. End of story.

Now they just want a complete night of peace, a chance to show each other just how much they’ve missed the other and they’ve been doing well with it so far. After an undeniably satisfying shower, Jake actually felt like a brand new man, feeling as though he’d been cleaned of all the trauma he went through when he was trapped in the clutches of Rourke and now he feels... free, almost. The happiest he’s been in a long time. Even though there’s still so much depressing shit going on at the moment, Jake still needs to appreciate that his soulmate is back in his life. Now he plans to never lose her again. 

Logan slowly snuggles up to Jake, resting her head on his chest and tilting her head up to admire his dazed expression. She can tell he’s exhausted because who knows when the last time was when he had a good sleep? His eyes are barely half open and she smiles at the pleasant sight of him. She missed these simple moments. The aftermath of a passionate night together and the sweet minutes of just talking and reminiscing. These are the times Logan truly cherishes and she would never take them for granted.

Noticing how her ocean eyes are so bright and full of pure happiness, Jake momentarily shoves his exhaustion to the side and turns his attention her, eyeing her with curiosity.

“What are you looking at, Princess?” Jake questions, not able to hide wide grin that crosses his lips. 

“It’s just like how I remembered with you.” Logan admits, grazing Jake’s cheek with her fingertips and he flinches a little at her featherlight touch. 

“Heh, glad I still got it.” Jake jokes, planting a kiss on her forehead and nuzzling her hair for an extra second. “Seriously though, I’m so glad I’ve got you back. I missed you so goddamn much.” 

“I missed you too. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t find you again.” Logan whispers and Jake can sense the pain in her tone. She must have gone through endless emotional trauma... all over him? Jake can’t even try and believe that. With reassuring intentions, Jake brings their lips together as he tries to soothe her slowly growing sadness. 

“I’m sure... you would have survived, darlin’.” Jake points out with a tinge of regret in his tone. 

“Maybe... but I still would have been miserable.” Logan murmurs and she can sense that topic is really bugging Jake, as his mind starts to ache with doubts and wonders that hadnt really bothered him until now. She reaches out to him and intwines their fingers, while using her other hand to brush the stray strands out of his face. “Jake.. what’s wrong?”

“It’s just... what if saving me was a mistake?” He suddenly pipes up and Logan’s sapphire eyes widen with disbelief.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, darlin’. I know that people think we’re dead now but... now I know I’ll never be able to give you the life that you fucking deserve and it’s killing me.” Jake confesses, pouring out all of his doubts and regrets into this one moment.

“How do you know, Jake? Maybe this just gives us another chance.” 

“Lo, there’s a clear fucking reason. Do you think I can ever go back to the States after this? I was barely safe when they hadn’t caught me.” Jake snaps, his frustration eating into him and he can’t push it away like he usually does. 

“But Jake...”

“Look, Princess... I know how much you wanna keep us together and I wanna do that too but... I also wanna make sure I’m a husband to you, not a burden.” Jake’s honesty is so real, as well as his concern but he doesn’t seem to realise that Logan doesn’t need any protection. She only needs him.

“Jake... you could never be a burden. And I’ve lost you too many times to wanna let you go again.” Logan assures and Jake seems a little more convinced as she stares him dead in the eyes, a solemness he’s never seen in her before. “This is it, okay? You and me. Forever. To the stars and back, right?”

Finally, the hint of a smile creeps up at the corner of Jake’s lips and he lets out a soft exhale in response to her words. “Right.” Jake eventually relents, surrendering to his love and he slowly brings their lips together for a tender kiss that lingers longer than it should. When they pull away, he knocks their forehead together and takes a moment to admire the love of his life. “I fucking love you, darlin’.” 

He truly can’t believe that she chose someone like him to spend the rest of her life with. 

“I love you too and we’re gonna save all our friends from this goddamn world that Rourke created. But you know what we have to do in order to achieve that, right?”

Jake furrows his brows, suddenly confused. “What?”

“...Were going back to the States.”

Michelle 

The next morning finally dawns onto the world and the light exploding from the window alarms Michelle to the fact that the day has finally arrived, leaving her completely aware that she will have to leave Quinn today and she sure as hell is hesitant to do that. Sure, Quinn’s parents will be here to comfort her and Michelle knows that they won’t want her hanging over their shoulder asking constant questions about Quinn’s current state. 

Michelle will have no choice. She’s going to have to leave and her heart is begging her not to do it but her body is desperately reeling with exhaustion, urging her to fall into her own deep slumber because she’s neglected sleep for too long. But she still doesn’t wanna go. She wants to stay here and be there for Quinn. But her family won’t want her to always be there. 

A nurse has popped in a few times throughout the night to check on Quinn, measuring her blood pressure and temperature every few hours. Nothing has changed. Her state has been the same since she first collapsed and who knows if she’ll ever improve or worse... 

Michelle quickly shoves away the thought and releases a low exhale. She glances at the clock nearby. Almost 9 O’clock. The nurse alerted Michelle that Quinn’s parents are set to arrive around this time and she wishes to offer her condolences before she’s forced to leave. With that, Michelle finally rises from her chair and wanders over to Quinn, feeling the urge to gain one more mental image of her before she leaves for a while. 

Quinn looks so peaceful and maybe this is the sleep she’s always dreamed of but never received because the burden of her fate was always haunting and taunting her. Too bad the circumstances are so grim or Michelle might actually be able to admire the woman she’s slowly falling for.

“I’ll see you soon, Quinn. Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you know it. And when I see you Lo, I’ll tell her about what you said. I don’t know what it means but... if you said it, then I’ll do it because...”

Before Michelle can get out her last words, she ends up trailing off as she spots a slow action performed by Quinn and her hazel eyes widen at the revelation. A simple stir of the hand but so damn important. It’s a sign of life. A reflex, if you will and it proves that Quinn still carries her life within her. The first smile breaks out on Michelle’s features and she can’t help but be excited that Quinn is finally revealing the fact that she’s alive.

“Oh my god... Quinn! You’re alive! Wait... can you hear me? If so, I want you to know...” 

Then suddenly, Quinn’s body starts to shake slightly and her eyes start to quiver as they’re about to open. But the way this awakening is happening is rather unusual. It’s not the sudden eyes opening that’s so sweet like you see in the movies. No, this is almost... terrifying. Quinn looks like she’s about to explode and her body shivers even more violently as the moments pass.

Michelle’s eyes widen at the current situation and she can’t believe what she’s seeing. One moment it seems like Quinn is alive and now it almost seems like she’s possessed in some way. This has to be some kind of sick game that Michelle’s mind has come up with. A method of manipulation. A horrible hallucination. 

But the more Michelle blinks and realises it’s still there... the more real it seems.

“Quinn... are you ok—“

All of a sudden, Quinn’s once dead eyes snap open but the usual sky blue ocean colour doesn’t light up the room so positively like it typically would. No... a neon, lime green light bursts out of both eyes. An emerald fire of torture hiding the hope in her corneas and Michelle is amazed by what she’s seeing.

What the fuck kind of sorcery is this? Quinn looks like she’s been possessed or cursed but what the hell is going on? This has to be a nightmare. How can this be real?

Now Michelle is really starting to feel her anxiety cracking through and she runs her hands through her blond hair. That’s when she starts to hear it. Quinn is screaming through an echoey voice, like a cry for help. Michelle can’t quite make out what she’s saying but she still manages to catch a few breathy words.

“...Kill... kill... kill...”

She’s just speaking kill, all over again. But then another word makes its way again, confusing Michelle even more.

“...Reborn... Reborn... Reborn...”

Now this is truly frightening. Michelle should probably go get help and find someone suitable to take care of this but she can’t fucking bring herself to move. She’s completely paralysed but she knows she has to help Quinn, if anything.

With that, Michelle paces over to Quinn and attempts to grasp her in order to prevent her from shaking as she tries to knock some sense into her. Just as their hands graze... Michelle becomes the same thing. Her eyes a flash a hot pink and she screams out in agony as she tries to maintain Quinn. Michelle feels as though a rose-coloured fire is tearing up her heart and the pain is almost unbearable as she tries to fight through it and take some of Quinn’s pain too.

What the hell is even happening to her? This can’t be real. This has to be a nightmare. 

Out of the blue, as the pain starts becoming even more severe, Michelle’s mind is suddenly flooded with memories. Her memories just flow through her mind, rushing through her body continuously and giving her a chance to feel something familiar. Something she hasn’t felt in a long time and it almost feels like she’s right back where she started. Her head starts to ache from the amount of memories but she also feels an endless amount of relief.

Finally, she remembers everything. Getting trapped on the island. Almost killing a colossal crab. Attacking a sea monster. Meeting a pirate. Absolutely everything. She remembers it all. Everything and everyone.

Sean, Quinn, Raj, Grace, Aleister, Craig, Zahra, Jake, Estela, Diego and... Logan.

Michelle finally is rid of her amnesia but it sure took a hell of a lot of pain to do it. She feels just as possessed as Quinn but only in exterior not interior. 

Then suddenly, the lights burn out, the fire dies, the voices fade, the shaking pauses and everything returns to the way it was, including Quinn. Still in her deep slumber and it’s like her sudden awakening never happened.

There’s just one difference, however... Michelle now has her memories back. 

[rebeccacatalinas]

Super just curious, 100% not judging, not trying to debate, really just wanna here your thoughts bc RoyAi thoughts are Good Thoughts and I too don’t think Roy and Riza were Best Friends before Ishval was over: how do you see their relationship having developed in canon??? It’s fun to imagine them being Young and Into Each Other but at the same time they were v formal at the funeral and in Ishval sooooo I often wonder how they *fell* in love (that seems too simple a term for them but anyway...).

MUAHAHA im excited to answer this [and i wanna say someday ill write it out, but lets be real, im mostly a oneshot kinda gal]. and ok it got longer than i intended but i have so much fun writing about them:

heres how i see their relationship in canon [obviously theres some of my own headcanons thrown around in here but im trying to keep it mostly analysis]:

as older teens living together - barely acknowledged one another, didn’t speak often, riza was already pretty reclusive thanks to her father’s neglect and roy was focused entirely on his studies so he could finish his apprenticeship as quickly as possible. a few conversations here and there, but considering she still refers to him as “mr. mustang” i dont think they ever became friends or spend any alone time together outside of a few meals.

tattoo reveal - i dont think there was a big jump in their relationship, it was mostly awkward and full of uncomfortable promises and roy realizing he shouldve noticed her sooner [maybe he couldve stopped this tattoo from happening? roy would definitely blame himself for something like this when he has nothing to do with it lol]. riza trusts him because of his inspiring words + her grief/confusion towards her fathers death [cuz it was probably a weird combo of grief and relief and that made her latch onto roy’s words about ‘saving everyone’ even more]

in ishval - after finding out about each other being in ishval, riza felt betrayed and angry and roy felt even guiltier and dirtier than he already had. and they have a couple of uncomfortable bonding moments ‘cause roy feels responsible for her being out there [tho riza didnt join the military for him, it WAS his words that inspired her to enlist]. i dont think they had the opportunity to spend much time together in ishval, tho riza was one of three amestrian women to appear in the ENTIRE ishval volume so i think hed be constantly worried about her [for good reason].

back burning - [this is the most complicated time for me to think about LMAO ive read like 600 fics and thought about every possible version i can for this…scene. and nothing feels completely right. i just wanna know the details of what they did, arakawa. i gotta KNOW.] i imagine it was an intensely emotional situation, guilt heightened by their recent ptsd and the way roy talked about how familiar he is with burning flesh and to what degree he can harm someone…he tried to look at it objectively and pretend not to be fucked up by the situation, and im sure he could just combine burning riza with all the other people he’d burned and let it pile onto his guilt. so theres still no love, just guilt and responsibility and pain. likewise for riza, she feels lots of guilt and responsibility and pain. LOTS of pain. i think during this time/afterwards is when roy shares his ambitions with her and his desire to change things in the military and she can fully understand how much he wishes he could undo what he did.

“be my assistant” - sttiiilllll, i dont see any love in this decision. its all based on responsibility and guilt which is the core of their bond which is so sad and fucked up. he wants to give her the opportunity to take back what he took from her, in a sense. to fix what he broke. tho there wasnt anything romantic behind it necessarily [tho i imagine by this point in their lives, grumman and hughes and christmas have already started shipping them lmao], making her his assistant and giving her permission to kill him was tying their fates together forever and they were both totally aware of that and, like, its INTENSE. its like a marriage proposal but worse and more dramatic.

love???? - so when/how did they fall in love??? id say…..very gradually over the course of their time working together. lots of late nights and close encounters and accidental touching and comments from friends and family combined with a lack of legitimate dating and the fact that they planned on working together for as long as possible…i love the idea of roy having a flick switch in his brain one day and he realizes hes been in love with her for a long time, whereas riza’s admiration for him just grows to the point where her heart feels full when theyre together and maybe she doesnt immediately realize that its love [i dont see riza as someone who spent a lot of time thinking about romance] so its fun to imagine that she really just didnt realize what she was feeling. BUT I DIGRESS, thats all headcanon, i just see it being a nice slow burn between “id like to make you my assistant” and when they first appeared in the manga. a beautiful slow burn that ive read hundreds of fics for and they all get my heart flutterin’

so this turned into a much longer thing than i realized. i stand by everything here as headcanon but i feel pretty strongly about most of it, i llloooovveee roy and riza’s relationship so much lmao.

[kristie-rp]

[2018] Garrett: Turning

It is a truth universally acknowledged that anyone acting particularly weird in the hospital must be in want of Doctor Vincent Constantine. 

Okay, no, that’s not true, exactly. It’s more a truth acknowledged only within the hospital itself, and weirdness is relative, and they don’t always know they need Constantine’s expertise. That’s just how it gets explained to Garrett when he starts his placement during med school, by a curly haired woman speaking behind her hand in a stage whisper. Doctor Constantine himself snorts and shoots her an unimpressed look, and does a double take when he sees Garrett. There’s something vaguely familiar in it, and the intern smiles politely. “Hi, Doctor Constantine.” 

“Call me Vincent,” comes the reply. “She’s right, in a manner of speaking. If something seems particularly... peculiar, then I am the resident expert. Feel free to come to me.”

Garrett doesn’t think much about it, afterwards. The thing is, he doesn’t work in Vincent’s department, at least not at first. The older man operates largely out of the basement, where a morgue would be in any other hospital: it has been turned into a ward, and the windows of half the rooms are blacked out with heavy tarps. It’s eerie. When Garrett brings his toddler daughter April to work some days, when she is too young to be home alone and not able to be at daycare, she tends to spend time with the old man. He doesn’t get it, but he allows it. 

He’s been a fully qualified medical practitioner employed by the hospital for eight months before he thinks about the description of Vincent’s specialisation. A couple have brought in their terrified daughter, who is incredibly pretty for a human child and also very quick-witted and persuasive. She has talked the nurse out of at least three lollipops before Garrett arrives in the room to introduce himself and shoo the nurse away. 

“Do you really need so many,” her mother is asking a little helplessly, taking the third one from her daughter. The little girl shrugs, and asks her dad to get her some water, please, from the vending machine. Because her mother is the one with money, she goes, too. The little girl is alone with Garrett. 

“They think I’m sick,” she informs him flatly, pouting slightly. “I don’t think they’re wrong. I mean. I know I’m not like the other girls. And there are these.” She tugs at her beanie and it lifts away to reveal small horns on her forehead. She is very careful not to rip the wool. “My mom’s worried.”

“Cutaneous horns aren’t unheard of,” Garrett tries. He doubts it’s that simple; the very sentence sits wrong on his tongue. Plus, every instance of cutaneous horns he’s heard of presented in the elderly. 

The little girl, apparently, is aware of this. “I know how to Google,” she says dismissively, “and I know only old people have that happen. So why is this happening to me now?” 

Garrett hesitates. He can order tests – of course he can. But something gives him pause. The mother and father return, and Garrett makes up his mind: he leans out of the door to catch a nurse as she passes by. “Hi, sorry – can you run down to the basement and find Doctor Constantine, please? I need a consult.” 

The nurse looks at him curiously, but returns in fifteen minutes with Vincent himself. He looks between the couple. “Are you her father?” 

The man shakes his head. “We adopted her a few years ago,” he explains. The little girl doesn’t seem bothered by this, and her mother has rested a hand on her little girls shoulder. “We have the record of her biological parents medical information –” 

The mother starts to search in her bag for the papers. Vincent stops her with a wave of her hand. “No matter, they won’t be accurate.” 

The parents make outraged sounds, and the little girl blinks at him. “You know what’s wrong with me?” she asks. Her voice is much smaller than it was earlier, alone with Garrett. He can’t blame her, really; Vincent has that effect on people. 

“Have any of you heard of a Cambion?” is what Vincent asks, completely without preamble. Garrett starts, because he’s heard of those, in fascinated Wikipedia spirals that almost always end with him looking up different takes on mythological beings – and this doctor, whom he respects, is talking as though the creature is real. “It is the result of a sexual union between an Incubus and a human woman. I’d bet the mother listed her boyfriends information before giving her up, knowing exactly what she was getting into.” He pauses, addressing the girl directly. “The horns may be surgically removed once they are fully grown, but that won’t happen until you’ve completed puberty. You likely had almost no pulse until you were seven, and you’ve likely noticed you barely need to breathe. You’re clever and beautiful, more than human girls, and you’re persuasive. Many would call you manipulative. Does this sound right?” The little girl is staring at him, somewhere between dumbfounded and fascinated. Garrett can see in her face that this explains everything. “You have the potential to be evil, but with good parents – nurture over nature, all that – it can be subverted or at least limited. Any questions?” 

If there are, Garrett doesn’t hear them, watching the girls face instead. He can’t see Vincent’s, but that girl is looking at him like he told her the meaning of life, and has no longer left her confused and wanting, unsure what she is. 

Garrett doesn’t know if he entirely believes the story, but he’s half-way there. It helps that the little girl pauses to give him a hug and to thank him on the way out, beanie back in place.

Garrett’s co-workers think that his fascination with Vincent’s so-called department – which exists primarily due to the Constantine’s donating more money to the hospital than the accounting department is willing to disclose – is ridiculous and confusing. They think Vincent is insane, or delusional, or at least eccentric, for all they respect him as their fellow doctor. But every single one of them is willing to call the older man for a consult when the situation calls for it, which is really all Garrett can hope for, so he mostly ignores the opportunities to mock them.

(Mostly, because sometimes he cannot bite his tongue fast enough to ensure he is less sarcastic in the workplace than he is at home, with April, who by now is a teenager who really ought to have a more sincere parental figure to turn to.) 

Anyway: it is not uncommon for Garrett to visit Vincent’s basement, either to ask pointed questions or chat with patients kept so separate from the others. He does this more predictably on the nights when April is not supposed to be coming home, and tonight she is staying at a friends place while they work on a project for class. He does not have to be home in time for dinner, so he meanders down to where he can visit at his own pace. 

There is a woman with albinism in one room. She greets him warmly, as she had the last time he’d been here, by putting on a terrible Transylvanian accent and calling herself a vampire. Garrett quirks a brow at her, thinking something along the lines of you wouldn’t be quite that pale if you dined on blood, Zoe. She laughs aloud. “Alright, fair enough, I’ll let you have that one. Stop by on your way out, Doc,” she insists, and he can almost feel the idea settling in his mind, ensuring he will do as asked later. 

“Is your tail ever going to heal?” Garrett asks the man in the next room, curious.

The merman with his blue-tinted skin snorts, his teeth growing in jagged rows; according to what he’s told them, he is a hybrid of some sharks that wouldn’t ever frequent the bay around Port Lyndon. “I’m not the doctor,” he says, splashing impatiently. He is caught halfway between human and mer form, and the pain shows in how pale around the gills he is. “Ask Vince.” 

“Yeah, sure, I’ll get right on that. Straight after my stopover at H.L. to let them know what I am,” Garrett retorts, earning a laugh from the mer as he splashes contentedly. 

He stops at the door of the selkie to smile and let her know that he’s passing through, because he knows she’s mostly here because of the debilitating anxiety that came from losing her pelt – only she hasn’t felt compelled to actually go to anyone, so it isn’t stolen, just legitimately lost. There’d be more chance of finding it if it was stolen, from what Garrett understands – it is hard to get her to talk, because Vincent is the expert, and he’s not exactly personable. 

The next room was home to a slightly burned dryad the last time he was here, but his bark was basically finished moulting, which means he should be gone, and the room should be empty. Garrett opens the door to check, eyes widening when he instead gets an eyeful of a wolf-like being – it’s a fully transformed werewolf, he knows that – and yet his immediate panicked reaction is to step closer and slam the door closed.

Yeah, his self-preservation instincts have always been terrible, he is aware. He does things like drink hot sauce on a dare (college) and break into his parents liquor cabinet (high school) and grab the arms of angry looking people on crutches to prevent them from walking into traffic (summer between high school and college, and actually he’s proud of that one). He has a feeling he’d step in front of a gunman to save someone, even a stranger.

That might explain locking himself in with an angry looking werewolf. One that’s currently edging closer. 

“Crap,” he croaks, panic making his voice crack, and presses himself against the door. 

He blacks out. 

It’s probably for the best.

“I have to hand it to you, Garrett,” a familiar voice is saying when he comes to, blinking at a white tile ceiling, “if you were going to be infected by a supernatural condition, this is probably the best possible place you could’ve done it.” 

“That’s nice,” Garrett says. He thinks he sounds about as sarcastic as usual, but he might be a little dazed. It’s something to do with the fact that he can make out the little specks across the surface of the tiles, which is weird, because he should be wearing glasses, and he can’t feel them on his face. “I think my veins are on fire.” 

“That’d be the wolfsbane,” the voice answers, apparently unbothered. It’s Vincent. Garrett is not surprised. 

Garrett closes his eyes. “You’re suppressing a transformation, aren’t you. Isn’t that a bad idea?” 

“Which one of us is the expert?” 

Garrett scoffs. “Which one of us is a werewolf?” 

There’s a long silence that makes Garrett want to open his eyes, but it’s bad enough that he can hear a heartbeat that he’s pretty sure isn’t close enough to be Vincent. Which means his co-worker doesn’t have a heartbeat. Which – he had to pass a medical to get this job; how did Vincent get the job with no heartbeat, without causing some sort of crisis? He keeps his eyes firmly shut, thanks ever so much. “Touché,” Vincent says at last, and Garrett can hear the amusement in his voice. 

“How long was I out?” 

“A couple of hours. Your phone rang; it was your daughter. She’ll be here soon.” 

“Sure, that’s a brilliant idea,” he mutters, sarcasm heavy in his voice. Garrett’s eyes fly open and he sits up a little quicker than he would like, blinking against the abrupt change of scenery and the headrush. “By which I mean, you just said I’m a newly turned werewolf, Vincent, what the fuck?” 

“At least you already know werewolves exist,” he says.

It’s not helpful. Garrett gives him the glare he thinks he deserves, and then lays back down, pressing his palms into his closed eyes. Maybe if he thinks hard enough, this will go away. “I can’t be a werewolf,” he says, as if it will change anything. “I have a teenage daughter. I’m a medical doctor. I work night shift half the time, I can’t take every full moon off!” 

“That’s what the wolfsbane is for.” 

“Oh, right. How could I forget? My veins feel like they’re actually on fire and this is the only way to not turn into a wolf that will bite anyone around.” 

“You’re a very negative person, aren’t you?” 

Garrett grimaces. He’s just realized what the heartbeat he can hear actually is, and attempts to peer at the other occupant of the room, the one he missed. “Sorry, Dave. I didn’t mean any offence. Much.” 

Dave, the werewolf responsible for this entire thing, snorts, but it sounds half-hearted and exhausted. He is trembling. “I should be the one apologizing. I ruined your life, man. I owe you.” 

“Should I be worried about the shaking?” 

“Doc didn’t give me any ‘bane until I’d already transformed, is all. Remember to take it like you’re s’posed to and it works out better.” 

“Great.” Garrett takes medication for anxiety on the daily. He now has to add injections of liquidated wolfsbane to his schedule at least once a month, twice in a blue moon, and he really doesn’t want to wish harm on Dave – so he doesn’t. He closes his eyes again, takes a deep, supposedly steadying breath. “This is just what I needed.” 

“Dad?” 

Garrett opens his eyes and looks up. April is standing over him with a look of concern, the door open behind where his head has been resting this entire time. “Hey, sweetie,” he says, trying for a sincere smile. He doesn’t know how close he gets as she dumps her bag and kneels down beside him. “I hear your sleepover wasn’t that great.” 

“Muriel is being mean, so I called to come home. Vincent said you were – hurt?” 

“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just – um.” Garrett pauses. He cannot lie to his daughter, she needs to know what is going on. It isn’t fair to keep her in the dark. 

He has to tell her about supernaturals, if she hasn’t guessed already.

Garrett groans aloud, pressing his palms back into his eye sockets. “Remind me to kill you later,” he mutters. “It’s the least you deserve.” 

Vincent snorts, and Dave’s noise is more like a whimper. There’s something decidedly lupine in it, and that’s exactly the sort of thing Garrett needs to hear right now. 

“So,” he starts, pulling his eyes away, “you know how there are humans in the world, and they have different races? African, Asian, Caucasian, Mongoloid.” 

“Yes...?”

“Well, those differences are just aesthetic. The differences that actually matter a little bit are the ones that make human beings into something – supernatural.” 

There’s quiet for a long moment. “Are you trying to make a joke about that TV show?” April asks, wary. 

Garrett sighs. He wishes he was. “I wish I was,” he says, “but what I’m actually saying is that vampires and werewolves and dryads and all that – it’s real. That’s what’s special about Vincent’s patients. That’s why they are in the basements, that’s why pretty much everyone avoids him and thinks he’s insane.” 

“Hey,” Vincent says. It’s mild enough that Garrett doesn’t believe he actually cares. 

“Also, that’s Dave. Say hi to Dave.” He waits for April to wave awkwardly at the patient. “He’s a werewolf. And he bit me.”

[survivorjordanpines]

Episode 2: It's All a Learning Experience Folks. - Andreas

[2017-11-17, 11:17:07 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): oh god puzzles [2017-11-17, 11:17:09 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): im triggered [2017-11-17, 11:19:11 PM] Rafael Hernandez: I'm going to Kermit [2017-11-17, 11:19:19 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): i am honestly awful at puzzles so if everyone else is around and can do them, i don’t mind sitting out Jaiden volunteers to sit out. Me, an intellectual, knows what I need to do now. [2017-11-17, 11:34:11 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): if someone on the tribe doesn’t submit [2017-11-17, 11:34:18 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): they don’t qualify for the worst time gets immunity if we lose [2017-11-17, 11:34:19 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): yes? [2017-11-17, 11:34:23 PM] Jordan Pines: correct [2017-11-17, 11:34:26 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): k cool [2017-11-17, 11:34:29 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): that immunity is mine [2017-11-17, 11:34:32 PM] Jordan Pines: you need to submit a completed puzzle to be eligible [2017-11-17, 11:34:35 PM] Jordan Pines: so you throwing the challenge? [2017-11-17, 11:34:42 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): i don’t know, am i? [2017-11-17, 11:34:45 PM] Jordan Pines: hahaha [2017-11-17, 11:34:47 PM] Jordan Pines: classic charlotte [2017-11-17, 11:34:51 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): ;) [2017-11-17, 11:35:04 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): i didn’t make sure my entire tribe knew i was bad at puzzles [2017-11-17, 11:35:05 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): on purpose [2017-11-17, 11:35:08 PM] charlotte (themyscira host): that wasn’t me I mean, I AM bad at puzzles, this is true, but am I going to be a little extra bad just in case we lose? Absolutely. I would love to be safe going into the next round.. I don't care about going to the Jordan Pond. Let's be honest, I wasn't going to have the best puzzle time anyway lmao HOW CUTE.  

I wonder if nick convinced maybe Allison to flip but not Amanda as he claimed they both would flip one lied one thought he had the votes. Plus drew's voting confession i think the last one was, was on point why i never took him up on that offer. It's week 1 i can't risk my spot for you this time sorry every game is different but my alliance is Madison.

alright alright alright hot damn this game is fifty times better than i expected! soooooo, it's time for a quick rundown: https://image.prntscr.com/image/fkjkBD9RQJikMqASaB5frw.png a 30 person season? not loving that concept. redemption island? not loving that one either. my tribe? i can get down with that for now. i'm feeling very blessed to be on a tribe with icons such as ryan, jessica, and matt summers - well, not anymore, but still. he will always be in our hearts. i've also had some real cute chats with ruthie, andreas, and cole, so i'm love them so far. and that's like 2/3 of the tribe, huh? the other ones - pippa, emma, casey - are all lovely and nice but we haven't really had much to say to one another so far. okay, actually i take that back for casey; we had a good talk the other day about jobs and stuff. only for 30 minutes, but still. i'm a fan of her. so things are lookin pretty good in that regard. my strategy so far? honestly, just sitting back and seeing where this game takes me. it's a foreign concept to me for sure - in all my other games, i always thought of the beginning few days as the most important part, and i'd probably be checking in with everyone every five hours and trying to make 7 core alliances right now. but frankly i just do not have the time or energy for that shit right now. i'm not young anymore. and i gotta say i don't hate it. especially because it seems like that's sort of the case for all of us here; we old-timers have real jobs and real responsibilities and we can't be bothered to be online 25/7, and that's OKAY! promote positive media relationships tm! anyways i have zero alliances right now and that's just fine with me, i'm sure this isn't the case for everyone and there could even be a massive conspiracy going on in this tribe that i have no awareness of but y'know what, nobody is perfect and this is just gonna be how it is for me right now. alright enough of me talking about how ancient i am. who's ready for a TWISTOS TWIST? i sure am cos apparently (through some randomized magic that i still do not completely comprehend) ya boi has a RUBY IDOL! damn!! now i will say that i definitely had not even heard of this thing before now and i don't know exactly how one is supposed to use it but an idol is an idol and this one looks sneaky sneaky so i'm into it! i am certainly not telling anyone about this no ma'am because what's the fun in that? :~~())) and that's really all i've got for you today folks, i ate five pounds of potatoes today and i need a nap so stay tuned for whatever adventures fall upon my head next episode! xoxo stay gold ponyboys

I actually despise this puzzle. However, I feel like I will be safeguarded if we do go to tribal by my alliance. Hopefully, however, we do not have to and continue dominating the game.

Nick was voted out and Idk who that was. Its very clear the icons are vote out matt summers just so he can kill everyone in redemption but like it was so obvious. The twist is interesting bc I could just throw this damn puzzle challenge and be safe for a round but at the same time I love this tribe and I dont want us to lose

Oop, got some new information Apparently, L.A. And Charlotte are friends in real life. I don’t plan on using this yet, but if I’m ever in trouble, I can use it throw them under the bus. Let’s look at the evidence .... -both from New Brunswick -Hosting a season together -LA knew the name of Charlotte’s moms cat

I've decided I want to throw immunity tonight. To put it this way, I want to give myself the opportunity to go to this mythical isle of Pines in order to potentially find an idol. Although Redemption Island is here and there's really no point in idoling someone out to send them to Redemption Island, I want to do something crazy and messy at least once this season so ya. I've been letting the puzzle time go on by as I sit here and wait for the challenge to be *just* about due, and then I'll submit something really terrible. Hopefully we lose and hopefully I'm the worst out of my tribe, then I can go searching and have myself a grand ol' time! I don't know when I'll get this opportunity later so may as well take the chance while I have it. As far as gameplay goes so far, I've tried to be as under the radar as possible. I didn't say much during the first couple challenges because I want people to just forget that I'm even here. I got into an alliance put together by Kage and I'm going to just continue to skim their messages and wait for someone to approach me. I don't normally play super passively like this, but I just need to remain in a good spot with that alliance so I can get through the premerge (for once). 

Jaiden honestly we get it like you dont feel safe but chill a bit you couldve thrown it less obviously. BUT WE STILL WON HAHAHAHAHA I think its interesting that Nick won Redemption and I cant wait to see who the fuck goes next

Ok so I think I forgot to do this last episode oops. I think I am in a good position on my tribe. Right now I have an "Old School" alliance of me Jess Casey and Cole. I do like this group a lot but I know Casey does not care about real life friendships in games, which is fine I would not be upset if she turned on me, it just means in the game I am not going to trust her that much. But I also have Emma and Ari who I trust and like a lot. Then there is Andreas, the last game we played together was a disaster since we were so actively against each other. Ruthie is a cutie but I don't really know her all that well. And Pippa is just..well my daughter who I apparently don't work with ever. Right now my goal is to get Pippa out. It seems like the easier vote, but I would like Andreas/Ruthie out earlier than later in this game. I know they both have lots of friends that are not me or my friends which makes them threats in my opinion. Cole is great by the way and I love him.

I'm really glad it seems like we already have a name of someone to vote out. I'm going out tonight and I'm just semi stressed that things are going to change and it'll be me though, AHH. 

I don't know if I confessed about this so fuck it. I am glad that Kage is going to the isle of pines. I would like to consider him my number 1 ally in this game so far. The "Icons Only" alliance seems to be strong enough to survive one or two votes, but it will definitely get messy as our numbers dwindle. Thankfully, that has not happened yet since we won immunity. I know Jaiden got the worst score to go to the isle of pines but like he didn't need to lose that hard. We won but if we lost because of Jaiden's antics I would have been pissed. I am keeping an eye on him just in case things go awry. In my eyes, he is at the bottom of the totem pole including Gage. However, I like Gage more and I want to keep him close so that we can go against Charlotte and LA if the time comes.

At tribal council last round, Matt went 10-0, which was expected. He hadn't been online, and no one wanted an inactive. Then he also didn't submit for Redemption Island, so he became the first boot of our season. I think Matt going was an easy vote and allowed those of us on our tribe an opportunity to mingle and socialize more. Meanwhile, during the past tribal, Pippa's name was also thrown out because she hasn't really been online at all, and was barely active. I hoped that with the second chance she was given that she would socialize more as she is someone I would like to see deep in this game - but it looks like might not happen. For the immunity challenge, we had to do a god AWFUL puzzle which made me not like looking at Jordan Pines' face. I know - terrible!!!! So, I got the second best time on my tribe, and 4th(?) best overall which I was kind of surprised about. I expected some really good times and tried to have a mediocre time but I came out on top. So, despite Ryan and I being 2 of the best times, we still lost. Then Pines introduced the Isles of Pines, and Cole, who had the worst time, got sent there and was immune from the vote. I think had he not been safe his name may have been suggested. Thinking back, aligning with him might not have been my best bet as I don't see him as someone people want to take further. Especially if he's shit at challenges . But he shall tell me what was there, which is good. So following this, Emma messaged me stating she is worried, as she did not do the challenge that she may be in danger. I assured her she would be fine, and went talking to Ryan and Jessica trying to get Pippa's name back on the chopping block. They both seemed to agree that it made the most sense, and now, with 7 hours left until votes are due Pippa has yet to make an appearance. Unless something sketchy happens, she should be on redemption soon. Emma and I were celebrating that we are probably safe again and then she suggested we make a Her/Me/Ryan/Aru/Jessica/Ruthie alliance which I think would be good. We're the stongest 6 on our tribe if we wanna move forward and I haven't had a solid alliance in recent seasons which I think fucked me over. So we each took 2 names and decided to chat with them. I had Ari and Jess. Ari agreed right away that we should do that alliance and Jess hasn't been online to chat with about it. The tribe is very quiet and I think it's because we all have lives to lead. Plus we just went to tribal with 10 and now there's gonna be 8 of us and it's a huge jump. One last thing, the puzzle thing showed who's better then puzzles at me. And while I did get a time of 18 mins my first time, that was still better then a majority of people. You know when else there was a challenge ? The secret power thing. And if Kage and Drew and Ryan were faster then me, then its safe to assume one of them has it. BUT, Ryan was talking during the time that post went up the first night so he doesn't have it. It's either Kage or Drew then. We shall see what it is. But I know that i'm not gonna go around advertising theirs a hidden power. Did that in Great Lakes and it caused a lot more trouble then it should have. It's all a learning experience folks.

Yay! We won immunity again! Even better I won reward! At camp, I’m working on my personal relationships, specifically with Regan, David, Gage, and Rafael. I hope that by befriending them that they will be more sympathetic in my time of need. Tisk tisk tisk Jaiden, he tried put his own personal desires ahead of the tribe. He tried to get the worst time so if we lost, he’d go the Isles Of The Pines. Jokes on him, I got it. Oh well, at least this just builds my case for whenever I want to get out Jaiden. At Isles Of The Pines I got stuck with Chrissa and Cole. Gross. The only dirt I got from them was from Chrissa saying Liam is probably going home tonight. So not much. I searched and to my luck, found a clue to the idol.... “Along the Southern Path you be, You find a nice and climbable tree. It holds 4 holes for which you see, in one of them is where powers be.“ The clue is still there so someone else could find it. I’m going to go back to my tribe and tell my alliance (Me, Rafael, Jaiden, LA, Charlotte, Gage) that I searched there and found nothing. Let’s just hope they don’t double check that. I’m feeling really good right now as we’re on winning streak, and I’ll hopefully get the idol soon. I have cases on why we should get rid of Regan, Jaiden, and Karen if I ever need them. So right now I’m pretty much the King of the game, to that I say, Long Live The King

Whew I'm really nervous about tonight! Not because I think I'm up for the chopping block, but because I have No Fucking Clue if I'll be there for tribal. Thanks a lot for cooking my pressure, CHARLOTTE (jk love ya) The vote, afaik, is for Allison, and tbh I'm kinda fine with that? Like, I've never personally been a huge fan of her, and she does start to get annoying to be around after a lil while. So if she goes, I'm cool with it tbh.

So we lost again. Sucks. Did the puzzle once and did better then half my tribe. Fucking Cole got 100 mins. Probs in putpose can’t work with that long term we could have fucking won. Anyway pippa is quiet and needs to go

My names Pippa and i hate playing games with RTP bc he sucks butt Jess: Ryan said he’d never vote out Emma Ryan: it’s because you came in late that no one wants to vote with you Me: die Ryan, you little turd

Pippa came to me about an hour before tribal and wanted to vote Emma out. She said to me that she had the number in a ari, Jessica and ryan however none of them really want to send Emma home - including myself. It sucks we're lying to her, but she should've started playing more earlier. Tribal is in literally 3 minutes and she's probably still scheming 

Tag yourself im emma and her crew