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ms-rampage · 4 years ago

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Eden’s Gate: Aftermath Chapter 6 - The Man Who Sold The World

Warnings: Swearing, slight violence, some Kate and Wheaty cutensss, usage of drugs (Bliss)

Word count: 4.3k

Summary: In the penultimate chapter, Paige, Kate and Mandy finally meet face to face with Joseph Seed, but there will be bloodshed, and maybe a few sacrifices the family will have to make.

Guest OCs: Just the usuals.

Guest Characters: Archangel Raphael [Supernatural: mentioned], God/Chuck [mentioned], An Archangel? [read until the end]

Note: One more chapter!!! Then New Dawn begins.

*****

Another few weeks have passed, October is here and that means Fall in Montana is beautiful. The fallen leaves, the crispy cool breezes, orange, red and yellow leaves. Fall colors.

Pumpkins, hot chocolate, sweater season, blood shed, violence, and crazy fucking Cultists.

The Winchester-Smith compound has never looked more alive. The trees on the property with their orange, and yellow leaves.

The threatening words of graffiti on the gates of the compound. Sinner. The Father. The Power of Yes.

John Seed’s followers tried to retaliate, and avenged his death, but the Winchester family is always 10 steps ahead of them.

7:00 am. A letter arrived at their front door for the 3 females of the Winchester family that morning. From the man whom they’ve been looking for, The Father Joseph Seed himself.

Telling them to go to his church at 5:30 that evening. He didn’t say for what, or why, but they weren’t gonna let this opportunity slip.

“It’s clearly a trap” Kenny tells his wife.

“What if it isn’t?” she asks.

“Why would Joseph send you a letter telling you to go to his church?!?” Nate asks, as he pours coffee in a cup.

“I don’t know, but we’re going” Kate says.

“You two are pregnant!!” Kenny exclaims, “You aren’t going”.

“Okay! Then who else is gonna take our place?” Paige asks.

“I’ll take your place, Mandy and one of the guys can go” he replies.

“Joseph asked us, and us only to go. We aren’t risking you two going, and probably getting killed” Kate tells him.

“What if he kills you guys?!” Mark asks.

“Remember the letter he left us? When we killed his brothers? He said that we were forgiven for all the shit we’ve done” Paige informs them.

“He could be lying!” Mark adds in.

“Joseph is telling the truth” Mandy steps in.

They all turn around to face her, “How do you know?!?” Kenny asks.

“I spent 6 months with him. I can tell if he’s lying or not. Writing or speaking I can tell” she says.

Paige looks down at the letter, “So what do we do?!?”.

Mandy takes a deep breath, “When 5:30 comes we leave for church. Whatever happens, happens. This is where it all ends”.

They all stare at her in anticipation.

“I just got the chills when you said that” Mark mutters.

“Yeah for real” Adrian says, looking at her like she just gave him life changing news.

****

A few hours later.

10:00 am, everyone had just eaten breakfast, Paige is feeding Cristina 2nd her morning bottle.

Kate just threw up, morning sickness and she hates it.

She called Wheaty, and they’re gonna hang that afternoon. Not telling him about the letter from Joseph to meet at his church.

Kenny, Mark, Nate, Cody, Marty, Adrian and a few others finished putting up one of the 2 houses. Rachel is having a panic attack, knowing that Joseph knows she’s living with the Winchesters. Mandy sitting in her room, blinded by her thoughts. Wondering why Joseph wants the 3 of them to go to his church.

What could he possibly want?. What is the meaning, or purpose of this?. Is he gonna kill them? Does he want to make peace with them?. Is he gonna surrender himself? What is he gonna do?.

Paige is sitting on the front porch swing, holding Cristina while “Fade to Black” by Metallica plays on her bluetooth speaker. Humming along with the song, with Cristina falling asleep in her arms.

****

2 hours have gone by, 12:00pm.

“Things not what they used to be. Missing one inside of me. Deathly loss l, this can't be real. I cannot stand this hell I feel. Emptiness is filling me. To the point of agony. Growing darkness taking dawn. I was me, but now he's gone.”

Kenny steps outside, and sees this. A huge smile grows on his face. He takes a seat next to Paige on the swing, putting his arm around her. She leans closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. He places a kiss on her head, rests his cheek on her head.

Lightly swing back and forth on the swing. Little moments like this they love. They don’t need to go out to fancy restaurants every weekend, or a weekend get away for the both of them.

Cristina falls asleep in her mothers arms, letting out soft nasal snores, making Kenny snickers at this.

“You know I still don’t like the plan” he tells her.

“I know you don’t” she responds. They sit in silence for a moment.

“If you could guess what Joseph wants. What would you guess?” he asks.

She sighs, “I don’t know. Maybe make peace with us, or make some sort of treaty between everyone in Hope County”.

“Your mom seems to know a lot about Joseph. Like how he thinks, or what possibly goes through his head.” he tells her.

“Yeah, my mom is really good at reading people, even if she’s not trying to. It’s like a power she has. Growing up I couldn’t even lie to her, and I’m really good at lying, but she knew. She always knew. Kate takes a lot after her, they both try to see the good in people even if they don’t deserve it. I take after my dad, he didn’t trust anyone outside the family. Like if he was still alive, and all this shit that happened, like Rachel turning on the Project, he wouldn't trust her either. Even if she had a change of heart, he wouldn’t trust her at all”.

Kenny zones out as she’s talking, still being able to hear every word she says. He places his hand on her 9 in half weeks pregnant belly.

“You think your dad would’ve liked me?” he asks, looking up at the sky.

Paige looks up at him, looking into his blue orbs and smiles “If he knew I trusted you, then he would’ve trusted you as well”.

He looks down at her, and kisses her forehead.

Paige sighs, “My mom-” she says before getting cut off by a soft “mom” from the infant in her arms.

Her and Kenny look at each other wide eyed, then down at Cristina who is half asleep.

She picks her up, having her stand on her lap.

“Say that again” she tells the 11 month old in her hands, “Say mom”.

“Say mama” she tells her again, “Say mama”.

“Say dadda” he jumps in.

Paige glares at him, “This is my moment”.

“Say mama” she tells her again slowly.

“Mama” Cristina mutters her first word, very softly that it sounds like a mumble.

Paige gasps loudly, her eyes widened “She just- she. She said mama. She said her first word!!!”. She gets up from the swing, and goes inside the house.

“Mom!!!” she calls out as she goes inside.

*****

Kate went on her date with Wheaty. She wanted to go hunting, but since she’s 7 in half weeks pregnant, they changed their date plans. They decided to go to the camping spot where they first met a few years back.

“It looks the same” she jokes.

“Camping spots usually never change” he replies. They sit near the water, on some boulders.

“So how’s the pregnancy?” he asks.

She looks down at her belly, chuckling “I threw up this morning. I’m peeing a lot but my mom and sister said that's normal, other than that it’s going pretty good”.

“Thought of any names?” he asks, putting his arm around her.

She thinks about it for a brief moment, “If it’s a boy his name would be either Gabriel Joel Eddard, or Samuel Dean Rhaegar. For a girl Daenerys Arya Brienne, or Lyanna Pamela Cersei”.

“What is up with you and these Game of Thrones names?!” he laughs, kissing the side of her head.

“They’re nice names!. It’ll give them character, plus Pamela isn’t a name from Game of Thrones, and neither is Samuel, Dean, Gabriel and Joel” she laughs.

“Don’t be surprised if little Daenerys asks for a dragon, or 3 for her birthday, or an Iron Throne” he jokes.

“And if she does I’ll be very happy about it, and I’ll get her a stuffed dragon. One of those giant plush ones that are like 5-6 feet tall”.

They talked, they laughed, they made out. They enjoyed their time together, holding her in his arms as they watched the lake. Watching the boats, and jet skies go by.

Even the subject of marriage and kids came up on their date. Even though they've started dating back in August but have known each other over 2 years.

She starts reminiscing back when they first met. She still remembers that night very clearly. She still has the photos.

"I still remember that day when we first met" she tells him.

A smile appears on his face, "Yeah me too".

"I never had a crush on anyone until I met you" he tells her. She looks up at him.

"Really?" she asks. He nods his head, she moves closer into his arms. Enjoying every single moment of it.

Kate knows this might be the last time her and Wheaty ever hang out again. Their last date together, and they don’t know it.

Resting her head against his shoulder as they sit by the lake. His arms wrapped around her.

"Also I wanted to give you this" he says, getting something out of his pants pocket. He pulls out a bracelet, similar to the ones he wears and puts it on her wrist. She smiles as he puts it on her, holding her hand in his. She looks up at him, and kisses him.

***

4:15 pm Kate is still on her date with Wheaty. Her sister and mother prepare themselves as they wait for her.

“Where is she?!” Paige asks, getting annoyed.

“We still have a whole hour” Mandy tells her, “She’ll be back. Soon hopefully”.

15 minutes later Kate pulls into the driveway.

She enters the house, “It’s about time you show up” Paige tells her.

“Well sorry!” she responds sarcastically, “I had a date with Wheaty, and I wanted to see him before we’re killed!”.

“We’re not gonna get killed” Mandy steps in, “Because we’re not going”.

They all look over at her in confusion. Mandy was having 2nd thoughts about confronting Joseph, and she made the decision not to go to the church.

“What do you mean we’re not going?!?” Paige questions her, “You literally said a few seconds ago that we’re going. Implied it”.

“We’re not going. We’re not gonna give Joseph what he wants” she tells them.

“Mom?!” Kate mutters in disbelief and confusion.

Paige scoffs, shaking her head “Mom, this is our only chance. To get rid of Joseph. Put an end to the Cult, and kill whoever is left”.

Everyone, Paige, Kate, Kenny, Adrian, Martin, Cody, Mark, Nate, Barbara, Rachel, and everyone else in the house look at Mandy. About 30, plus, eyes staring back at her.

“We’re not going” she tells them, “I don’t care what Joseph wants. We’re not going”.

Paige, scoffs at her mother, “Why?. Why the change of heart all of a sudden?!?”.

Mandy glares at her eldest child, and says “You wouldn’t understand”.

Kate stops her older sister from doing or saying anything else to their mom.

She still plans to go and confront Joseph. All the damage, pain. suffering and bloodshed he had caused. It’ll all end that evening, nothing will stop Paige from ending The Father.

5:20 rolls around, Kate and Mandy have no intentions of leaving for church.

The youngest Winchester thinks they should go.

“Mom?” she asks.

“We’re not going Katella” she says, not looking up at her youngest daughter.

Paige comes downstairs, and is immediately out the door, and goes to the Impala.

“Paige?!?” Kate exclaims, going after her. Too late she’s already driving like a maniac off of the property. Leaving behind a cloud of dirt.

“Son of bitch!!” she mutters, “She’s going after Joseph”.

They grab the keys to the Monte Carlo, and drive after Paige who is probably already at the church.

****

Church of Eden’s Gate

Paige enters the compound, breaking down the front gate with the car. She stops the car, exits it. Pistol ready in her holster. A few peggies on the property staring at her. She ignores them, she’s there for Joseph. She’ll handle the hillbillies later.

“Joseph!!!” she shouts his name, echoing in the sky “Joseph!!!”.

Approaching the church, the man himself Joseph Seed steps out. She stares at him intensely. He looks up at the sky, closes his eyes and says, “And the lamb broke the 5th seal, and I saw under the altar the souls of Martyrs. Slain because of the Word of God”.

Pointing to Paige, “You. You turned my sister. You poisoned her mind with your wretched words”.

She pulls her pistol out of its holster and aims at him, “I didn’t change her. She finally saw your monstrous ways. She changed on her own”.

“Lies” he hisses, “Your disgusting words against God, and his word”.

She turns off the safety on her pistol, “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you right here. Right now”. Her voice filled with anger, and violent intentions.

He walks around her, she follows his movements. Gun still aimed at him.

“I told you. Your mother. I told you that we were living in a world on the brink. Where every slight. Every injustice. Where every choice reveals our sins”.

Paige narrows her eyes at him, her pistol still aimed at him, not lowering it once.

“And where have those sins led us?, Where have those sins led you?”.

The sound of tires screeching, breaks Paige’s concentration, she turns her head and sees her sister's car drive on the property.

Kate and Mandy get out. “Paige don’t!!!” Mandy exclaims, running towards her.

She turns back to Joseph, and aims her gun at him again.

“Paige what are you doing?!?!” Kate exclaims.

“What does it look like I’m doing??!” she replies sarcastically, “I’m ending it all”.

Joseph stares at Mandy, “Paige, you can’t do this” she pleads.

“Uhh, sure I can” she replies back. Rolling her eyes.

Mandy gets in between the gun and Joseph. “No, I mean you can’t kill him”.

Lowering her gun, glaring at her mother, “What are you talking about?!?”.

Before she could explain herself, Joseph speaks up.

“Mandeline”, his voice so calm that it sends shivers up her spine. Giving her goosebumps.

She closes her eyes, sadness and shame written all over her face. She turns to face him. Her eyes meeting his. He stares at her with so much intensity that you can almost feel the anger radiating off of him, and the fear radiating off of her.

“You betrayed me, my family, my flock, and God. You dare to show yourself to me” he tells her, slowly approaching her.

“Joseph, I’m sorry, but I had no choice. I couldn’t stand by and watch everything happen” she explains to him.

He points at her, “You turn my family into Martyrs. And I plan to do the same with yours”. He walks around them, and they see their friends Mary May, Nick Rye, Pastor Jerome, Grace Armstrong, Jess Black, Tracey Lader, Wheaty, and Tammy Barnes all under the influence of Bliss holding Kenny, Mark and Nate hostage.

“Wheaty!!!!” Kate cries out, seeing her boyfriend drugged up with Bliss.

“Kenny?!?” Paige says under her breath, “How the fuck did you get to them!?!?!”.

“Joseph let them go!!!!” Mandy yells.

He turns to her, and says, “Your friends, and family have been taken and torture, and it’s your fault. Countless people have been killed, and it is your fault. The world is on fire, and it’s your fault. Was it worth it?. Was it?”.

“You motherfucker” Paige mutters angrily, “Me killing you will fucking worth it, and I can promise you that”.

The followers on the property gather behind the 3 Winchesters, blocking them from escaping.

“Kenny what happened?!? Was it Rachel?!?” Paige asks.

“No!” he mutters.

“The others are fine. They got us, Rachel took off when they showed up” Nate wheezes.

“Paige?” Mandy mutters softly.

“Not now” she responds, “Joseph I swear you better-”

“Paige!” she yells, breaking her attention from him.

“Mom!. Now's not the time” she tells her.

“You can’t kill him” she tells her almost in a whisper.

She looks at her, eyes furrow, “Yeah I can, he has our friends and family hostage!!”.

Mandy looks back at Joseph then back at Paige, “No I mean you can’t kill him”.

“What do you mean I can’t-” She stands in front of her once again, blocking the bullet from hitting Joseph.

“Raphael” she mutters, interrupting her.

“Raphael?!?” Kate whispers, “The Archangel?!?”.

She nods her head, “Yes, I was told by Archangel Raphael that Joseph had to be protected, and I was the one to do it. That’s why you can’t kill him.”

Kate and Paige look at their mother in disbelief, and confusion.

“Because Chuck spoke to him” she whispers to them, “About the end. You can’t kill him because if you do everything, everyone will die. Cease to exist. The end of life as we know it”. They both glare at her with mixed emotions.

“You knew this whole time?!?” Paige yells, “This whole time!!. If Joseph gets killed, hurt and harmed in any way. Chuck will drop a bomb on all of humanity?!?”.

“Why didn’t you tell us?!?!” Kate asks, betrayal in her voice.

“I couldn’t say anything. Raphael forbidden me from saying anything to anyone!!” she says.

Paige lowers her pistol, putting it back in her holster.

Shaking her head, “I can’t believe you. He could be playing him for all we know” she tells her.

“Let them go” she orders Joseph, pointing to Kenny, Mark and Nate.

Joseph stares at her, “Are you deaf?!? I said let them go!!!” she orders him again.

Mandy holds her back, “Let me handle this”.

She turns to face Joseph, and pleads with him “Joseph please, let them go. We don’t want anymore bloodshed. Please let them go, and we’ll leave”.

“Wheaty too!” Kate shouts.

“You betrayed me. Betrayed God. I forgive you for what you’ve done to my family, but that I can’t forgive” he tells her, stepping close to her, “Your family will pay for what you have done”.

The few followers grab Paige and Kate shoving them onto the ground, taking their guns and other weapons away.

“Don’t fucking touch me!!” Paige yells, struggling.

“Get off me!!” Kate shouts, fighting to be let go.

“Joseph, it’s not their fault!!. It’s mine. Let them go, and you can deal with me” she pleads with him again.

He grabs her shoulders, “This is where it ends” he whispers to her. Tears stream down her face.

“You peggie fuckers!!. Pieces of fucking shit!!” Paige mutters as a peggie pushes her face first into the ground.

“Get the fuck off of her!!” Kenny yells at him.

Tears streaming down Mandy’s cheeks, if only she was honest with her family. If only she had told them the truth. All of this wouldn't have happened. Her family was gonna be killed because of her. Her own greed.

“When are you gonna realize that every problem cannot be solved with a bullet?” he asks her.

“It doesn’t have to end this way” she pleads with him.

Two of his followers, grab her. Preventing her from stopping whatevers gonna happen.

One of his Chosen has a sharp knife in hand. Almost like a miniature machete, holding it in front of her eldest child.

“Really Joseph? You’re gonna kill two pregnant women!” Paige yells. Grabbing the Father’s attention.

He stops them, having Paige’s full attention. He looks at her with a questioning look on his face.

“Yeah” she says, a smug look on her face “I’m pregnant. So is my sister. She’s carrying your little brother's kid. John”.

He looks over at the youngest sister, and she nods her head. “It’s John’s kid, Joseph. You kill us, you kill your nephew/niece, but keep in mind we’ll never be family”.

He looks up at the sky, backing away from them. His back to all of them. “Let them go” he says. They free the family of hunters, showing them all mercy.

“Wheaty?!” Kate cries, trying to snap him out of it, “Wheaty please. It’s me, Kate”.

She holds his face, cupping it, hoping to get him back into reality. All their friends drugged up, blind from reality. Paige grabs her arm, “Come on, we have to get out of here”.

She resists, shaking her head “No, Wheaty please snap out of it. We have a child on the way” she cries. The Bliss has taken over his state of mind that he can’t comprehend anything.

Mark and Nate practically dragged Kate back into the car. Her, her mother and sister in the Impala, Kenny, Nate and Mark in the Monte Carlo. They all drive back to the compound.

*****

Little did they know they’re not the only ones that have had an issue with Joseph, and the Cult. The new Deputy has had their fair share of issues with the Seed family, and their followers.

Liberating their outposts and destroying their properties. Making the Seed family look like a family of psychopaths they need to be locked up.

When Faith took off, she went to her gate and met with the Deputy. They put up a fight against her and they ended up killing her.

Faith. Rachel would’ve been the adopted sister to the two sisters. Rachel Winchester would’ve been her name.

****

They all arrive back at the compound. Kate in tears, Paige in shock.

The others come out, and see all their friends alive. Their children and wifes stand at the front porch.

“Holy shit!!” Cody says relieved, “You’re all alive!!”.

They all nod, “Yeah, yeah we are” Mandy mutters.

“Is Joseph alive?!?” Adrian asks. They all nod in disappointment, “Yeah, the fucker is still alive” Kate mutters angrily.

“Where’s Rachel?” Kate asks them. The others shrug, “We don’t know, she fled the property when the peggies arrived”.

“So now what?!” Mark asks, shrugging.

Paige shakes her head “I don’t know, we’re gonna have to-”.

As she’s speaking, it’s almost like God himself was making a huge entrance. Lighting up the entire sky.

A bright white light blinds them all, covering their faces from the burning brightness.

When the bright light clears, a giant mushroom-like cloud in the distance fills the sky.

“Oh my god!!” Nate mutters in horror, “Oh my god!!”.

A huge storm flies at them, causing the entire ground to shake violently. Making them stumble, and fall. The trees, and land go up in flames within seconds. Animals running to seek shelter. The whole sky orange, everything is a fiery orange red.

“Shit! he was right!” Martin screams in horror, “He was right!”.

“Damn it Chuck!” Paige mumbles angrily with a hint of fear in her voice.

Realization hitting hard, “Wheaty?, I have to get Wheaty!!” Kate yells.

She gets stopped by her mother and brother in law, “Kate no!!”.

“I have to go back for him!!” she cries, trying to get to her car.

Paige tries to hold her back, “It’s too late for him!!. You’ll die if you go back!. Kenny! Adrian! Get the cars underground. Everyone else get the children, pets and go down to the bunker”. They get the cars underground to the bunker garage. They get all their kids, pets, and all go down to the bunker.

Everyone settles underground. Fear, anger. So much emotion in one room. The distance rumbles of explosions going off, making it sound like the king of all thunderstorms is happening right above their heads. Paige looks around the main room of the bunker to see if everyone made it down. She counts everyone that was on the property.

Herself, her daughter, Kate, Kenneth, her mother, Barbara, Mark, his wife and 2 kids, Nate, his wife and 3 kids. Cody and his wife, Martin and his fiancee, Adrian and his wife.

“He was right” Kate mutters, playing with her bracelet, “Joseph Seed was right, and we didn’t see it coming. God, the Collapse, this sort of thing is right up our alley, and we didn’t believe him!!”.

Paige sighs in disappointment, “It’s not that we didn’t believe him. He didn't believe us, which is not surprising. It’s that he claimed that he spoke with Chuck, and for all we know. He couldn’t been played by him”.

Kate is about to say something when a fluttering sound, and a loud thud a few rooms away throws her off.

“Did you hear that?!?” she asks the others. The others stay back while her and Paige go to investigate it. Kate then sees a single golden, brown feather on the floor.

“Hey, look a feather” she says, pointing at it. Paige, who doesn’t see it, looks at her in confusion.

“Where?!?” she asks, looking around for it. They get to the source of the sound, and see a man with his back to them, kneeling on the floor.

Paige pulls out her pistol, and aims at the intruder.

They both see the same man, but Kate sees a little more. Tattered up golden, brown angelic wings. They approach the man, and stand in front of him. He lifts his head to look up at them, and they see the wounded, beaten up Archangel.

“Gabriel?!?” Kate mutters.

____

When the bombs fell

Not long after (The Angels fell)

14 notes · View notes

stardust-walker · 4 years ago

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High Hopes: Chapter 20

Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19

word count: 5315

_______________________________________________

Lori’s safe return to camp might have been the first good thing to happen in what felt like days. Dove hurried over with the others as her friend emerged from the car. “Where’s Rick,” Lori questioned. Dove’s harsh gaze fell to Shane as he spoke.

“I had to get you back here,” he stated as if it were that simple.

Julian’s jaw dropped as he stared at the deputy. “Probably better ways to get someone to follow you than to lie and tell them someone’s safe when they’re not?” He winced as Maggie punched him in the side.

“You asshole,” Lori growled as she stomped past him. “He’s my husband,” Dove’s eyes widened as Lori punched Shane in the chest. The brunette stepped forward and pulled her back along with Andrea.

“I will go after him! I’ll find him.” Shane spoke again, “Now first things first, I gotta…I gotta look after you.” Dove scoffed before Shane continued, “I gotta make sure the baby’s alright.”

The silence and shock throughout the group was palpable. Then Carl stepped forward, the poor boy didn’t seem to understand as he looked almost excited. “You’re having a baby,” he questioned his mother. Lori glanced sideways for a moment. Dove punched the bridge of her nose in frustration as Carl continued. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Come on,” Dale broke the silence, “Let’s make sure you’re alright.” As Lori followed Andrea towards the house, Dove took a step forward.

“You’re a real fucking piece of work,” she hissed at Shane before she turned on her heel and followed the other women up to the house.

Julian turned his head and watched the others leave before he turned back to Shane, “So are you really gonna go look for Rick or were you lying to her about that too?” Maggie shot him another warning look. “What? Are we all supposed to just sit around and listen to this and not question it?”

Shane stood up straighter and ran a hand over his head, “Why don’t you just mind your business about my people?”

Julian glared at Shane, “Why didn’t you just mind your business about ours?”

Maggie took a quick step between them as Shane began to step forward. “Julian, go back to the house and just shut up. Both of you! Rick and Glenn will be back soon. They have to be.”

Dove sunk to the floor across from the couch and ran her hand across the hardwood floor as Lori tried to find the best way to explain things to her son. Carl peeked around his mother at the older man. Dale shook his head, “Don’t look at me. That’s your father’s job.”

The little boy turned his head slowly and glanced at Dove. The young woman let out a quiet snort of laughter before she raised a hand in the area. “Don’t look at me, either. I never worked with kids. Your daddy’ll be back soon anyway. I’m sure he’ll love to have that chat with you,” Dove finished with a little smirk.

“If the baby’s a girl, can we name her Sophia?” It felt like a knife to the gut, though it was obvious that Carl hadn’t meant it that way. Lori avoided the younger woman’s gaze as Dove stared back down at her hands.

“I’m sorry, bud, I thought you knew,” Shane mumbled from the doorway.

“Big brother Carl,” the little boy grinned as he flicked the brim of his hat. “Pretty cool, huh?”

“I say that’s very cool,” Shane agreed.

Dove looked up and spotted Lori trying her best to avoid any interaction with Shane. She pursed her lips as she tried to think back to the quarry. Things had definitely not been this weird between the two of them when they were there. Sophia had asked Carl if Shane was his dad and had to explain to Dove that he was not, in fact, the young boy’s father. Dove felt a sinking feeling in her chest, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of thoughts of Sophia or her realization of the true predicament that Lori Grimes had found herself in.

“How about a little later after she’s had some rest,” Andrea frowned. Dove shifted her gaze from Lori to the blonde woman and back to the doorway.

“Lori, I had to get you back here. You wouldn’t have come otherwise,” Shane reasoned. It was a pretty shitty reason. “How about you just hear me out, please?”

Lori looked torn, but she finally nodded her head. “Give me a minute, bud? Go with Dove.” Dove nodded as she pulled herself to her feet and put an arm around the little boy.

Dove tried to smile as she flicked the brim of the sheriff’s hat Carl wore, “Let’s give your mama a few minutes, little man.”

Carl waited until they were out on the porch before he spoke up. “Is everything alright with my mom?”

Hazel eyes flickered to Dale before she turned back to Carl and spoke. “I’m sure your mom is just fine. She’s probably just…worried about everything with your dad being missing and all that. Especially after today, she’s probably just wanting him to come back,” she smiled faintly.

Carl nodded his head slowly, his head turned back to the house. “I hope that’s right.”

Dale didn’t look very comfortable with leaving Lori alone in the house with Shane. Dove couldn’t help but agree with him on that, though neither of them had to say anything about it.

Julian was worried. They weren’t back yet. Beth wasn’t getting any better and Hershel was still out there. His nerves were shot, but he couldn’t afford to show weakness. Not right now anyway. So, he sat on the opposite side of the bed from Maggie, held Beth’s hand, and stared at her. He felt like any minute now, she would pop up and be the same bright and bubbly kid. Deep down he knew that even when she did snap out of it, she wouldn’t be like that for a long time.

“You just need to be strong for her,” he heard Andrea say from where she had sat next to him.

“I was just reminding her about…never mind,” Maggie shook her head. Andrea encouraged her to continue. “My dad would die if he heard this. My first summer back from college, I drove home, dumped my stuff off, went straight out to the stable for a ride.” Julian chuckled quietly. He knew this story. “My family comes back from church and Beth grabs my things and start unpacking my stuff upstairs. It was sweet until this one here,” Maggie patted Beth’s hand, “starts rifling through my backpack. She finds this little plastic container with these pink and green candies inside. She didn’t even know I was on the pill. She was so freaked out by the idea of me, boys, and sex she runs outside and chucks them in the duck pond. And I ride up, I see this, I’m screaming. She’s crying and Shawn runs outside, thinks one of us is drowning. The jerk busts out laughing as soon as he finds out. My dad comes out asking what’s going on, and Beth turns around and bats her eyelashes and just tells him we were swimming.”

Julian snorted, “Then this one,” he nodded at Maggie. “Decided it was a good idea to call my sister and start freaking out when she finally gets inside. Maggie was a hellion, but Beth knows how to raise a different type of hell,” he joked. The smile slowly formed on his face as he squeezed Beth’s hand again.

“Glenn and Rick will bring your dad back,” Andrea tried to assure Maggie.

“Glenn’s a good guy,” Maggie sniffled.

Shane seemed to be trying to stay true to his word as he began to load up the car to head out and look for Rick. Dove leaned back against the RV, cigarette burning down in her hand as she watched Daryl examine his rifle. She’d woken up that morning feeling just a little bit ashamed of how she’d lashed out at him, but she didn’t exactly know how to have that talk. Part of her still thought he deserved it.

“He doesn’t want Rick back,” Dove heard Dale tell Andrea. “Or Hershel. With those two gone, he’s got everything he wants and no one to tell him otherwise,” the old man shook his head. Dove found herself drifting closer to the conversation; Dale was getting pretty ballsy talking about something like that with Shane in earshot.

“Shane has done more to keep this group alive than anybody, including Rick,” Andrea narrowed her eyes at Dale.

“Now I know you didn’t just say that,” Dove spoke up as the attention of the two turned to her. “You have been spewing some real bullshit over the last few weeks, but I have to say, that has to be the worst thing I’ve heard.” She shook her head.

“You think Rick’s done more,” Andrea questioned as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“I know he has. He bargained with the group at the nursing home to get Glenn back. He went back to try and save Merle and so we could get the guns. I mean in case you haven’t noticed, without that bag of guns, our chances of being alive right now would be pretty slim,” Dove counted off on her fingers. “Rick has tried his best to keep us all safe! The only person Shane has tried to keep safe is himself and maybe Lori and Carl. The rest of us are just along for the ride,” Dove scowled at the blonde woman.

“I mean, I have to agree. There’s no way you can possibly believe that Andrea.” The disappointment in Dale’s voice was obvious.

“I do,” Andrea stated.

Dove stepped up beside Dale as Andrea moved towards the car. “What a dumbass,” she grumbled as she finally tossed her cigarette to the ground. The sound of a vehicle approaching broke through the silence.

They were back. Dove jogged up towards the house with everyone else. A small smile was on her face as she watched Carl run up to hug his father.

“Who the hell is that,” T-Dog spoke up and Dove narrowed her eyes as she moved closer to Carol.

“That’s Randall,” Glenn spoke up.

“Holy shit,” Julian muttered as he turned and headed back into the house.

Dove didn’t like the fact that they were in there trying to decide what to do about someone’s life. Rick had the right idea, she thought to, to let the boy go once he was healed. Andrea was on a real winning streak that day. “Isn’t that the same as leaving him for the walkers,” the blonde inquired.

Dove placed a hand over her mouth as she leaned back in her chair. Her attention shifted from the blonde to the door as Daryl entered. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on what she could only assume was herself and Carol. A new sense of shame rolled over her as, instead of the scowl she’d been expecting, he nodded his head at them with a small forced smile. Dove’s hazel eyes glanced towards Carol as the older woman shrugged her shoulders. Dove tried her best to keep her eyes forward, but she could feel her heart beat faster as the man walked across the room and stood across from them.

“He knows where we are,” Shane said.

“He was blindfolded the whole way here, he’s not a threat,” Rick explained.

“You killed three of their men, you took one hostage,” Shane began to ramble. “But they just ain’t gonna come looking?”

Dove frowned as she lowered her hand, “You would rather them have left the poor kid out in the middle of the night with a fence through his leg to get eaten alive?”

Rick ran a hand through his hair, “They left him for dead. Like Dove said, they saw him with the fence through him and they left him there to die. No one is looking.”

T-Dog spoke up, “we should still post a guard.”

Hershel shrugged his shoulders, “He’s out cold right now, will be for hours.”

“You know what? I’m gonna go get him some flowers and candy,” Shane exclaimed sarcastically.

Julian ground his teeth as he spoke up from beside Hershel, “Were you always this much of an asshole or is this just an end-of-the-world bullshit because I’m getting really tired of it man.”

“Julian…” Patricia warned.

“Sorry, Pat. Sorry, I know no cursing in the house, but someone had to say it! Randall is not a threat,” he shook his head. “Randall is a little punk but he’s what? 120 soaking wet. Carl could probably kick his a…. butt if he wanted to.”

Shane scoffed and shook his head. “Look at this folks, we’re back in Fantasyland.”

“You know, we haven’t even dealt with what you did at my barn yet,” Hershel turned quickly as Shane began to exit the room. Julian’s dark eyes widened in shock. He expected it from Maggie, maybe. Not Hershel. “Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all. This is my farm. Now I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. So, do us both a favor? Keep your mouth shut.”

Julian looked down at his shoes as he tried to keep a shocked laugh from coming out of his mouth. As everyone began to file out, he looked up and put a hand on Hershel’s shoulder. “Wait until Beth hears about what you just did, man.” Julian smiled as he patted Hershel’s shoulder excitedly. “She’s gonna be so mad she missed it.” Dove rose from her chair as the two men exited the room and entered the hallway.

The brunette watched as Carol tried to approach Daryl, who had somehow made it to the door, only for him to push his way outside without allowing her to say anything. Dove closed the distance between herself and her sister quickly as they left the house. “I think he just needs some space,” Dove whispered to Carol.

“Maybe,” Carol hesitated as she watched Daryl trek back towards his lonely little campsite. “Maybe you shouldn’t have gone and yelled at him last night either.” She frowned and Dove sighed.

Dove nervously rubbed her forearm as she leaned against the porch railing. “You think I don’t know that? I was just…I was angry. I’ll find a way to make it up to you…and maybe him too. As long as he deserves it.” She looked down at the porch.

Carol let out a heavy sigh and took a few steps forward to kiss her younger sister on the top of her head. “That’s all I can ask…”

The next week felt like the longest week of her life. There had been a few times when she had gone up to try and talk with Daryl, but it always seemed like the universe was telling her that now wasn’t the time. The first time she’d tried to do it, Maggie had asked her for help with collecting eggs. Dove had given the other woman a confused look but had helped her anyway. It was perfectly clear to anyone with eyes that Maggie was important to Glenn and Glenn was her best friend. A few other times, Daryl had been pulled aside by other men in the group to watch Randall or do other things that Dove didn’t care to hear about.

About 3 days into it, Dove had all but thrown herself backwards onto her sleeping bag in frustration. “What’s wrong now,” Carol asked, but didn’t look up from her sewing. Carol had taken to fixing up winter coats that they’d salvaged from the highway since it was starting to get colder out.

Dove ran a hand through her dark hair and closed her eyes. “My mom always used to say that the universe will give you signs when things are meant to happen. You think that me getting interrupted every time I try to apologize to that jerk means that he deserved it?” She opened one eye to look at her sister as a smirk crept onto her face.

Carol rolled her eyes. “Your mom was a smart lady and she believed what she believed so I won’t tell you she was wrong. If you want to go off that though, maybe the time just isn’t right. Maybe it’s like you said. You just need to give him time,” the older woman looked up and flashed her sister a comforting smile.

Dove had taken to doing something she felt like she could control and help with. Beth. It would be a little different if the young woman were willing to talk, but Dove understood. The brunette entered the kitchen as Lori walked out with a tray of food for the teenager. “Oh vegetables,” Dove chirped as she reached over the saltshaker and picked up a piece of cucumber. She took a bite out of it as she leaned back against the counter. “Something wrong, Maggie?”

The younger woman shrugged her shoulders as she drummed her fingers on the counter. “Just everything with Glenn. It’s kind of got me all worried, you know? What if I messed things up?”

Dove sighed and popped the rest of the piece into her mouth. After a few moments, she spoke. “Guys are weird. They’ll do nice shit for you one day and tell you to basically go fuck yourself the next.”

“Speaking from experience,” Maggie quirked an eyebrow.

Dove rolled her hazel eyes and swatted playfully at the woman. “I’m 28 years old. If I hadn’t experienced that yet, I might be worried.” Nice avoiding the question. “My point is that Glenn didn’t do anything like that to you. What I think happened is that maybe Glenn never felt like that about someone before and it spooked him. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I think Glenn’s crazy about you. He’ll come around.”

Maggie looked down at the counter and nodded. “You think so?” Dove nodded. “Thanks…”

“Absolutely. Would you like to schedule another appointment? Knowing all of these assholes, I’ll be booked until the actual end of the world,” Dove snorted as she reached for another piece of cucumber. Maggie let out a light chuckle. It was nice to have friends.

Julian was caught off guard as Lori came out of Beth’s room white as a ghost. “Hey what’s wrong,” he questioned the woman as she passed.

Lori didn’t stop but turned slightly and pointed back to Beth’s room. “You stay with her. I’m gonna go find Maggie and Hershel.” Julian didn’t have time to say anything as he spotted the knife in her hand. His heart sank to his stomach as he turned and headed down the hallway. He peeked his head into the bedroom.

Beth was faced away from the doorway when he entered. “Beth…Bethie.” Julian said quietly as he walked over and took a seat next to her feet. “Beth. I need you to tell me what you were planning to do with the knife.”

The blonde didn’t move at all, but she answered. “It’s all pointless now, Julie. What’s the point anymore? Even if we live, we’ll probably just end up like my mom. And Shawn.”

Julian’s hands shook as he rested his elbows on his knees. His gaze focused onto the floor in front of him. He wanted to be able to reassure her as best he could, but there was no way that he could do it. He wanted to believe that there was hope for the future, but part of him couldn’t help but think that Beth was right. That didn’t mean that anyone else had to die, though.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as Lori ran back into the doorway followed by Dove. Dove’s hazel eyes were wide and panicked as she entered the room. Lori hadn’t explained much, just that she’d found Beth trying to cut herself and couldn’t find Maggie. Dove half expected to enter the room and see blood but relief flooded through her as Maggie ran down the hallway.

She was like a bat out of hell as she descended onto her younger sister. “Are you serious? What do you think dad’s gonna do when he finds out?” Julian chewed nervously on his thumbnail.

“What’s he gonna do? Kill me for committing suicide,” Beth sounded emotionless as she responded.

Dove sighed as she pulled her hair back away from her face. “Beth, listen. I know that it feels like you can’t feel anything right now, but that was a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know how much it hurts to lose someone; believe me I know.” Her voice cracked slightly as she spoke. “But Maggie’s right. How do you think your dad would feel if you did it?”

The blonde girl stared straight ahead and shrugged her thin shoulders.

“Stop being a brat,” Maggie sat down on the bed. “He’d die. So would I. This isn’t just about you.” Julian stood up slowly and put an arm on Dove’s shoulder. A look from the younger man told her that maybe this was a conversation the two women needed to have on their own.

“How are you doing,” Dove turned her attention to Julian as he shut the door behind them.

Julian shook his head, “It’s not me you need to worry about. Beth would never do something like that.” He sucked in a deep breath as shouts started to come from inside the bedroom. Dove placed a gentle hand on his back and began to lead him to the kitchen. “Beth loves Maggie. She would never fight with her like that.” He wandered through into the dining room and took a seat.

“This could’ve been handled better,” Andrea spoke.

Dove felt her anger flare up again as Andrea answered Lori. “You shouldn’t have taken the knife away.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Dove grumbled.

“Excuse me,” Lori sounded truly shocked.

“You were wrong. Like Dale taking my gun, that wasn’t your decision,” Andrea sounded so sure of herself.

Dove bit down on her tongue. She didn’t want to fight anymore, she really didn’t.

“She has to choose to live on her own, she has to find her own reasons,” Andrea stated.

Dove snapped, “You are a grown ass woman capable of making your own decisions. Beth is a sixteen-year-old child. You want to give someone who wants to die a way out?”

“What is your problem,” Andrea turned her attention to Dove.

“My problem is that just because you’re a fucking lawyer, you think you know everything,” Dove pointed a finger at the older woman.

“And you really have the authority to tell me about a situation like this,” Andrea’s tone was condescending, and it just served to fuel the fire.

“No, but I do have a degree in psychology and several years of experience to tell you about the situation,” Dove explained, and Andrea rolled her eyes. “I swear to God, if I had that here with me, I would shove it in your face, then roll it up and shove it so far up your…”

Lori moved behind Dove and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Stop it! Both of you! Andrea, you need to stop. Dove, I know what you’re saying, and I agree with you but it’s not making it any better.”

“How,” Andrea threw a hand in the air.

“Would you want me to tie a noose for her too then,” Lori snapped.

“If she’s serious, she’ll figure out a way,” Andrea shrugged.

“True but it’s a whole hell of a lot easier when you wanna give her a butcher knife,” Dove glared at the blonde woman.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t stop her or let her know that I care,” Lori explained. Dove admired how the woman was trying so hard to hold it together. Odds were, she probably wanted to scream and fight as much as Dove did.

“She believes that suicide is the best option,” Andrea said as if she had suddenly discovered it was raining outside.

“That’s not an option,” Lori shook her head.

“Of course it is.”

Dove’s jaw dropped. She managed to tune out half of what Andrea said until she heard it. “I help keep this place safe.”

“If trying to shoot Daryl in the head counts as keeping this place safe, then you sure did,” Dove chided back.

“The men can handle this on their own. They don’t need your help,” Lori asserted.

“I’m sorry. What would you have me do,” Andrea asked. That baffled Dove. It was a farm, there were a million and one things to do and somehow, everyone else managed to keep themselves busy.

“There’s plenty of work to go around,” Lori frowned.

“Are you serious,” Andrea shouted. “Everything falls apart and you’re in my face over skipping laundry?”

Dove scoffed as Lori continued. “Puts a burden on the rest of us. On me, Carol, Dove, Patricia, and Maggie. Cookin and cleanin and caring for Beth. So yes, there is more than enough work to keep you busy too.” Dove’s eyes widened slighlty as she caught the angry look on Andrea’s face. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself. You sit up on that RV, working on a tan with a shotgun in your lap.”

Andrea scowled and began to explain how she was on watch, but Lori was having none of it. The two women continued to argue back and forth until Andrea dropped a bomb. “Go in there and tell that little girl that everything’s gonna be okay, just like it is for you. She’ll get a husband, a son, baby, boyfriend. She just has to look on the bright side.”

Dove boiled over as she walked around the table and gave Andrea a hard shove. “Get out!”

Andrea turned her attention to the brunette, “And you. You act so high and mighty but…”

“She said, get out,” Julian’s voice came from the doorway and it made everyone freeze. Andrea looked startled. “You don’t get to talk to people like that in this house. If I hear you talking about Beth like that again, I’ll tell Maggie exactly what you said about her. Then you’ll really regret it.”

Lori finally seemed to crumble a little bit as Andrea exited the house with a slam of the door. “I…”

“You don’t need to explain anything to me, Lori. I get it. In traumatic situations, people will…find comfort in other people. You don’t need to explain anything,” Dove stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Lori. She really wished she’d gotten to hit Andrea again.

When he heard Maggie going towards Beth’s room and calling for her, Julian rose from his seat and was at the doorway in seconds. Then the glass shattered. Maggie flashed him a panicked look as she began to knock on the door. Julian walked over; panic written all over his face. “Bethie, open up!” Julian banged on the door. “Don’t do this,” he echoed Maggie. His heart sank when she mentioned she’d left her with Andrea. Julian slammed his shoulder against the door once, but it was a hard old wooden door. There was a better chance of him dislocating something than getting the door opened before something happened. “Beth just open the door! Please!” He shouted through the door.

The door finally swung open as Lori pried it open with a fire poker. His stomach turned as Beth turned and he saw her clutch her bloody wrist. “I’m sorry,” she started to cry. It felt like things moved in slow motion as Maggie walked forward into the bathroom and put an arm around her sister. With a word, Julian ran off to collect bandages for his friend. He was alone for the first time in days and for the first time, he let the tears that he’d been holding back fall.

The last thing any of them expected was for Rick and Shane to return with Randall, but that was what happened. Dove didn’t like the idea of Daryl going off to question the boy on his own. She paced nervously between the tents with her sister as she waited for the man to return.

It felt like hours, but Daryl eventually emerged from the barn and walked back up towards the camp. “Boy there’s got a gang. 30 men,” Daryl explained as he approached them. “They have heavy artillery and they ain’t lookin to make friends. They roll through here, our boys are dead. And our women, they’re gonna wish they would be.” A shiver ran down Dove’s spine at the thought. Her hazel eyes drifted down to look at Daryl’s hands as Carol asked about his knuckles. “Had a little chat,” he answered simply as he stepped through, back to his campsite.

Dove let out a heavy sigh before she walked back to her tent. She paused for a moment before she began to dig through her backpack. Down near the bottom of the front pocket, she found what she was looking for. Some antiseptic and some clean tissues. Probably not the best, but that would have to do for a peace offering.

It felt like she had bricks tied to her shoes the closer that she got to her destination. “You coming to throw more shit at me,” Daryl called out the moment he spotted her.

“To be fair,” Dove raised a hand as she stopped just behind him, “I was aiming for your head.”

“Your aim was off,” Daryl grumbled.

“Well, it’s been a while since softball,” she shrugged her shoulders and pointed to the spot next to him. “Can I sit.”

Daryl just let out a grunt and Dove lowered herself to sit next to him. Her gaze went to his knuckles again. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.” She held out the antiseptic to him with a raised eyebrow.

“I did what I had to do,” Daryl just shrugged his shoulders. He looked at the items in her hand before he begrudgingly held his hand out to her.

Dove sighed as she gently took Daryl’s hand in hers and began to dab at the blood on his knuckles with a tissue. “You did more than you had to. That seems to be a pattern with you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Daryl scoffed.

Dove shrugged as she continued to dab at his hand. “It means that you almost got yourself killed looking for Sophia. You beat the shit out of some kid to find out all the things you had to in order to protect the group…”

Daryl frowned, “Any of them would’ve done it if they had to.”

Dove furrowed her eyebrows as she dabbed the antiseptic onto his knuckles now. “But you’re the one who did. You do just as much for us as Rick does. I think you need to realize how much people appreciate it. How much I appreciate it.” The corner of her mouth turned up into a small smirk, “When you’re not being a bully. Sorry about that by the way. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“You can’t tell people how to grieve,” Daryl said to her and she stopped for a moment. Her gaze raised to Daryl and she released his hand as she spotted the small smile on his face.

“You’re right. You can’t. Now just shut your mouth and give me your other hand,” Dove rolled her eyes as Daryl placed his hand in hers. It felt good to finally be able to make things right.

----

@crossbowking @momc95 @chaotic-gary-king-stan

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #Daryl DIxon fic #daryl x oc #daryl dixon x oc #daryl x reader #daryl dixon x reader #The Walking Dead #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead fanfic #twd incorrect quotes #twd fanfic #twd fanfiction #my writing #lori grimes #Rick grimes #glenn rhee

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therappundit · 3 years ago

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***Best of the 1st Half of 2021: SONG EDITION***

Six months into 2021 and since 2020 wrapped up...some things in the world have changed, while other things remain the same (for better or worse). Folks, it’s time to talk about rap music in 2021...

One trend definitely has continued well into 2021: the underground rap world - I’m talking the artists, the aesthetic, the sound, the full projects, every box you can think of - continues to kick the mainstream rap world’s ass. There are already signs of the two imaginary separate worlds intermingling more and more, and we will have to deal with the pros and cons of that down the line...but one thing is for sure: rap music runs deeper, and more sonically diverse than ever before, and as long as there is an internet to enlist the ears and talents of artists from all over the world, the art form will continue to divide, change shape, borrow from the old and add some new, again and again. And we will all be better for it.

So let’s dive right in. As usual there are about 1,000 more songs that I would love to cram into this list, but there are only so many spots...and I’m married with a toddler, so even though I am listening to rap music for a concerningly large portion of my day, it takes a lot of extra coffee and less sleep to keep these posts going (but it’s still worth it, I love connecting with folks over the same under-discussed but ridiculously dope songs and artists).

There are many lists but none quite like this one, here is THE RAP PUNDIT’S LIST OF THE BEST RAP SONGS FROM THE FIRST HALF OF 2021....hope you find some joints you never heard before and really enjoy. And to all of the MCs, Producers, mixers, singers, curators, readers, writers, critics - anyone that contributes something to this music I love....thank you, as always. 🙏

[Bonus joint] 55. “GANG GANG” - Polo G feat. Lil Wayne

https://soundcloud.com/polo-g/polo-g-lil-wayne-gang-gang?in=polo-g/sets/hall-of-fame-675200176

[Bonus joint] 54. “Furious Styles” - Illa Styles feat. Nickelus F https://illastyles.bandcamp.com/track/furious-styles-ft-nickelus-f

[Bonus joint] 53. “Box of Churches” - Pooh Sheisty feat. 21 Savage

https://soundcloud.com/ceo-mrpooh/box-of-churches-feat-21-savage

[Bonus joint] 52. “Beating Down Yo Block” - Monaleo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnMPEfV0bSA

[Bonus joint] 51. “BUZZERBEATER” - Rahiem Supreme feat. Al.Divino & Estee Nack

https://franksvinylrecords.bandcamp.com/track/buzzerbeater-feat-al-divino-estee-nack

50. "A Man Apart” - Rx Papi

https://soundcloud.com/rxpapi/a-man-apart-prod-by-noisy?in=rxpapi/sets/100-miles-walkin

(Face it: you’re either feelin’ the Rx flow or you’re not. The endlessly quotable MC is not always taken seriously, but similar to how the saddest clowns are most adept at masking their pain behind a smile, Papi needs to be taken seriously as a talented rap artist.)

49. “Moving On Up” - Evidence feat. Conway The Machine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F35OOXvQ4c

(Evidence, Babu, Daringer and Conway all joining forces on a record feels like a timeline altering reach between two completely different generations of elite underground hip-hop artists, but in the case of “Moving On Up”, it’s not just a “hey wouldn’t it be dope if” fantasy, it’s a sweet reality. Ev has connected with the Griselda camp before and of course the results are dope. Add this one to the list, one of the many fine moments off of Unlearning Vol. 1.)

48. “Gordon Ramsay Freestyle” - Remble

https://soundcloud.com/remble2/gordon-ramsay-freestyle-prod-by-laudiano

(An attention grabbing MC if ever I heard one, Remble clearly hails from the same camp as Drakeo The Ruler - Stinc Team - but with that flow and sense of humor, he may develop a lot more than just a strong following out on the West Coast. Look out for Remble, he is knocking on the door of blowing, he’s just one key feature away...)

47. “The Shifts” - maassai feat. AKAI SOLO

https://maassai.bandcamp.com/track/the-shifts-feat-akai-solo

(If you haven’t checked out one of 2021′s most quietly impressive albums, I cannot recommend With The Shifts enough.)

46. “BOXINABACK” - Bris feat. Alphie Blood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3ai7WYivGo

(The career of Sacramento’s Bris was really beginning to pick up momentum in 2020...sadly, he was killed the same year. I cannot pretend to be an expert in the Sscramento rap scene, I just know that it’s been bubbling for a while, and this song really captured my attention as soon as I heard it. RIP, Bris.)

45. “Last Day Out” - Rio Da Yung OG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB51CUUod1w

(Right before Rio Da Yung OG entered the penitentiary, he dropped “Last Day Out”, a song that perfectly captures what the rap game will be missing while he’s gone - and more brutal honesty than we are accustomed to hearing from Flint, Michigan’s punchline killer.)

44. “Thousand Miles” - MAVI

https://mavi.bandcamp.com/track/thousand-miles

(The whole EP is impressive, but I think this joint most actually captures MAVI’s rhyme skills, flow and song writing ability. With young talent like this bubbling up from the underground scene, the future of rap music is as strong as ever.)

43. “Appletree” - Valee & KiltKarter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPO2AXgZMSc

(Not necessarily a vibe that everyone will be into...but one that if you are into it, you will reap the rewards in abundance. It’s so enjoyable to hear Valee applying his unpredictable cadence to new music once again, made that much more enjoyable by the fact that he has already dropped THREE mixtapes in 2021 and it’s only July!)

42. “Next Chamber” - Peter Rosenberg feat. Method Man, Raekwon & Willie The Kid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1amHQefki98

(Admit it: this is the type of production we have all been wanting on Wu-Tang albums for years. We won’t get it, but this is closer to the sound that they represented....and of course let’s not forget about the always welcome WTK feature, who does more than hold his own over the NY legends.)

41. “St. James Liquor” - Skyzoo feat. Aaria

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWC_tFzqUz8

(Pen game’s don’t come much finer than Skyzoo’s. The Brooklyn MC put a lot of work into All The Brilliant Things, and the final result was a collection of thoughtful rap songs like this one: descriptive, autobiographical rhymes over beautiful instrumentation that conjures memories of classic Roots records, and the headspace that only the greatest early 90′s East Coast lyricism could provide. Great song, great album.)

40. “10″ - Drakeo the Ruler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIRJoQFyS6c

(One of the best stories in 2020 rap music was when Drakeo hit the street once again, after a painfully long stretch of time in prison. He really hit the ground running in 2021, dropping one quality track after another...but then again, he never really stopped making dope rap in the first place, be it in the studio or over prison phone.)

39. “MASSA” - Tyler, The Creator feat. DJ Drama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vGz0bFutZs

(When folks were saying that Tyler was RAPPING rapping on his new album, this is what they were talking about. Not since Kanye West has a polarizing rapper-producer excelled so well at spilling his guts all over a track, and moments like this "MASSA” make Call Me If You Get Lost the standout project that it is.)

38. "DARTGUNZ” - Chuck Strangers

https://soundcloud.com/chuckstrangers/dartgunz-produced-by-samiyam

(Chuck Strangers remains low-key one of the best MC / Producers in the game, but Chuck is merely flexing his bar-work on this Samiyam produced gem.)

37. “Messy” - Nappy Nina & JWords

https://nappynina.bandcamp.com/track/messy

(Big shout-out to Pitchfork for putting me on to Nappy Nina within their rap song of the day section, The Ones. I love her music, and when paired with the incredibly gifted producer JWords - who I was only somewhat familar with thanks to previous terrific collaborations with MIKE and maassai - the result is a dope ass album like Double Down.)

36. “Nobles” - The Alchemist feat. Earl Sweatshirt & Navy Blue

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQoKO_v93g0

(The instrumental sounds as a triumphant as you could expect music from this trio to sound. My only complaint about This Things Of Ours was that it wasn’t 10-50 songs longer.)

35. “Nothing Like The Sun” - Tree feat. Roc Marciano

https://mctreeg.bandcamp.com/track/nothing-like-the-sun-feat-roc-marciano

(Okay so for the past few years, I had been pressing Tree, Closed Sessions, and just about anyone that would listen that a less than a minute clip from an old Tree promo featured an unreleased Tree & Roc Marciano joint. So finding out that this joint would *finally* being released on Tree’s Soul Trap album, it felt like Christmas morning. Now the world finally gets to hear two of the finest rap artists from the past decade plus!)

34. “nine lives” - maassai

https://maassai.bandcamp.com/track/nine-lives

(A great example of a song that seems to get better and better as it goes on, maassai & that horn sample are undeniably good on here.)

33. “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” - Drake feat. Rick Ross

https://soundcloud.com/octobersveryown/drake-lemon-pepper-freestyle?in=octobersveryown/sets/scary-hours-2-1

(This one really radiates, “YES, you have heard this before”...but when it works so well, that’s not such a bad thing. Drake came ready to rap, and it will propel this joint to the top of many lists you will find on those other web sites.)

32. “triboro.” - Remy Banks feat. Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire, Wiki & A-Trak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwSJ-DtZRBk

(I dig this in a big way. A few of NYC’s finest, flexing over what feels like blasting Kraftwerk out of a boombox on the L Train? I’m so on board.)

31. “Safe To Say” - Good Gas, Fki 1st & Band Gang Lonnie Bands feat. Band Gang Biggs & Glockboyz Teejaee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aykhcv625u0

(Of all my favorite projects that dropped in 2021 thus far, I don’t know if any have been as inexplicably under-discussed as the Good Gas, Fki 1st & Band Gang Lonnie Bands banger, Street Dream Team. I stumbled upon the project completely by accident one week while thumbing through all of the new joints that dropped from Detroit MCs one week, and I have kept it in heavy rotation ever sense. While not necessarily a spot-on snapshot of Band Gang Lonnie Bands’ typical sound, for a Michigan outsider like me, it makes for a great entry level intro to one of my favorite rappers out of the Motor City right now.)

30. "Early Exit” - Lloyd Banks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BUofKVrb-A

(Yeah the Roc Marciano verse sounds like it was recorded over an old radio on cassette tape, but as someone from the real mixtape era, I’m not going to let shaky sound quality distract from the fact that every other part of the song is fantastic. The bars are there of course, but the beat and hook are all spot-on, and sound quality be damed it’s just great to hear Banks & Roc together.)

29. "Yonkers” - Wiki & NAH

https://wiksetnyc.bandcamp.com/track/yonkers

(Rife with experimentation and half-freestyles, and sonically living somewhere between Company Flow and Ratking, the subterranean metro sounds of Wiki and NAH’s Telephonebooth might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you have been checking for Wiki’s music prior to this point, chances are you are going to be feeling this collaboration with NAH, a producer that I was previously not familiar with, but became a huge fan over night thanks to cuts like “Yonkers”.)

28. “John Wick” - AKAI SOLO & Navy Blue

(Whether you still believe “lo-fi” rap is a legitimate sub-genre or not, there’s no denying the abilities of these two gifted writers/artists. The wind is blowing in this direction my friends, I just hope you get on board soon and stop neglecting all of the great rap music rising from this corner of the underground.)

https://akaisolo.bandcamp.com/track/john-wick-prod-navy-blue

27. “Let It Roll Interlude” by IAMNOBODI feat. Phonte & BeMyFiasco

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVA1hXEnwnE

(Hard to believe that arguably the strongest rap verse of 2021 would be so under the radar, but here we are...)

26. "Taylor Made Suit” - Evidence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qLIuc3z7KQ

(Perhaps the thing I love most about this new Ev - both the song itself, as well as the entire album - is how incredibly effective he sounds over minimalist production throughout. “Funeral suit, same as my wedding suit”...shout-out to the legendary MC and producer, both for everything that has has endured in his personal life and his ability to turn his pain into art.)

25. “GOOFIEZ” - Mother Nature and Boathouse feat. Valee

https://mothernaturebarz.bandcamp.com/track/goofiez-featuring-valee

(When Chicago talent gets busy on a record, not many can hang with them. Be on the lookout for more and more big things from the likes of Mother Nature, Valee, and Boathouse.)

24. “Peach Cobbler” - Navy Blue

https://navybluethetruest.com/

(I’m not sure if there is a “chosen one” right now, someone destined to reach such levels of success and/or respect that Drake & Kendrick-esque waves are felt over a generation...but if there is, the mega-talented producer/MC/skater/whatever he wants to be Navy Blue might fit the bill.)

23. “Rose Gold” - 42 Dugg feat. EST Gee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhmKfKZr-PQ

(There are more than a few songs off of 42 Dugg’s Free Dem Boyz that belong in my Top 50, but “Rose Gold” gets the nod off the strength of the menacing beat paired with 42 and one of the most scorching hot rappers walking the earth right now, EST Gee)

22. "MANIFESTO” - Tyler, The Creator feat. Domo Genesis & DJ Drama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnDXCoHRl4o

(The Selena Gomez/Justin Bieber bar will garner most of the hype around this joint, but don’t let it distract from the fact that this song is one of the best collaborations between former Odd Future members since the collective’s creative peak.)

21. “What’s Next” - Drake

https://soundcloud.com/octobersveryown/drake-whats-next?in=octobersveryown/sets/scary-hours-2-1

(Pay attention to this Drake guy, I think he has a shot of making it. He makes it seem so easy, yet he has no peers at his level right now. There’s the growing underground elite...then there’s Drake, and little competition to duke it out with him when it comes to smash rap hits....assuming that is still supposed to be a thing?)

20. “MOMENTZ” - Mother Nature and Boathouse

https://mothernaturebarz.bandcamp.com/track/momentz-2

(You would be hard pressed to find a more enjoyable, high quality tape than SZNZ. The Chicago MCs rock a beat that sounds like a Camp Lo leftover - and I mean that in the best way possible - and show a natural penchant for earwormy choruses that should serve them very well in this biz.)

19. “Grace Jones” - maassai

https://maassai.bandcamp.com/track/grace-jones

(Somewhere between spoken word and where Lyricist Lounge-era Rawkus resides, you can find the warrior poet that is maassai: quite simply one of the most impressive MCs in rap right now.)

18. “How It Feels” - Lil Baby & Lil Durk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAsRTTO8L2k

(I know how it feels to care relatively little about a collaboration project between two of the game’s more revered Lil’s, then be blown away by both of them rapping their asses off for like 20 songs.)

17. “Falling Out the Sky” - Armand Hammer & The Alchemist feat. Earl Sweatshirt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctmTme9cG74

(There’s wavy, and then there’s wavy in the hands of The Alchemist, Earl Sweatshirt and Armand Hammer. One of Haram’s many standouts, this one is probably not what fans expected when they first saw the album’s tracklist, but it might actually be more special than we expected.)

16. “Capitol 1″ - EST Gee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ng7Sg1_RTM

(Mark my words: by the time we reach the end of 2021, EST Gee will be in the top 10 of every reputable rap site’s best MC list. At least I know that he will most likely be on mine.)

15. “LUMBERJACK” - Tyler, the Creator feat. DJ Drama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WOjaYotX1c

(Who knew we needed Tyler to join forces with DJ Drama to rap over a Gravediggaz joint? Never one to do what everyone expects, when this cut dropped about a week before his new album was released, it was clear that he was ready to pick up where he left off with his impressive bar-work on a flurry of features in 2020. Now that I think about it, after “Something To Talk About” and “327″ maybe we shouldn’t be surprised that Tyler dropped one of the hardest joints of the year.)

14. “The Stellar Ray Theory” - Mach-Hommy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3GWJrL2ht0

(The single that Mach & Griselda stans were terrified to hear, at the risk of revealing their no-longer-a-secret project to be a painful example of how far the parties had drifted since their over-publicized fallout, only to find the opposite: Mach & Gunn didn’t just find their chemistry once again, they improved upon it.)

13. “Sandra” - MIKE

https://mikelikesrap.bandcamp.com/track/sandra

(With his new Disco! album, MIKE managed to step outside of his typical lane of delivery, showing how nimble he truly is as a MC, and even takes his skills to another level as a producer, delivering what might be the most enjoyable album of his career thus far.)

12. "No Time” - Your Old Droog feat. Wiki

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y8Ozq9tMLE

(The new YOD album sounds so painstakingly written and executed, you would never believe it just casually dropped out of the blue one evening. Few are better at crafting themes without compromising the joy of listening to the music, Droog delivered once again.)

11. "What The Money Taught Us” - Skyzoo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV2QEbxMYgU

(This new Skyzoo album has so much beauty to unpack, please dig in if you have been keeping it on the back-burner for some reason.)

And now the Top 10...

10. “Folie Á Deux” - Mach-Hommy feat. Westside Gunn & Keisha Plum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF1-VvJsbqI

(Conductor Williams does it again, putting his own unique touch to one of Pray For Haiti’s standout cuts. The song is almost beautiful sound if it wasn’t for Westside Gunn, Mach and Keisha Plum pumping their own unique rawness into the beat. This one represents everything going right with Griselda right now.)

9. “Hallways” - Peter Rosenberg feat. Roc Marciano & Flee Lord

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrDrvozDzo4

(Superior to anything on last year’s Mt. Marci, Disco Vietnam really blessed Flee Lord and Roc Marciano with the type of late night loungin’ in New York banger that Roc knows how to knock out the park better than anyone. “Hallways” screams late night underground radio in a way that feels both nostalgic and fresher than just about anything out right now.)

8. "Seeing Green” - Nicki Minaj feat. Lil Wayne & Drake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diUcHDlCqMo

(Many have tried to recapture the skill, swagger, and star power of The Roc in the early 00′s, but most have not been able to come close. Leave it to the diamonds in Young Money’s crown to come through and capture the pomp and circumstance so successfully, it’s amazing that Just Blaze wasn’t somehow involved. If you aren’t feelin’ at least one of these verses, time to join a hater support group.)

7. “Prayers Over Packages” - DJ Muggs & Rome Streetz & DJ Muggs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2r2AYxN20ZI

(Most underground artists must be so excited to have the legendary DJ Muggs lace them with a full project, and I’m sure Rome Streetz was honored. But while Muggs delivered another strong performance on Death & The Magician, it’s Rome that elevates the material to truly masterful levels.)

6. “Wants and Needs” - Drake feat. Lil Baby

https://soundcloud.com/octobersveryown/drake-wants-and-needs-feat-lil?in=octobersveryown/sets/scary-hours-2-1

(Yes Drake still has the touch, one of rap music’s few legitimate hitmakers left....but hot damn, it’s Lil Baby coming through to turn the joint to ashes that carries “Wants and Needs” to song of the year caliber levels.)

5. “S.R.D.” - Peter Rosenberg feat. Styles P, Ransom & Smok DZA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tzSrIZ8tso

(Don’t overthink it: the watery boom-bap backdrop provided by Buck Dudley is exquisite, and all three MCs go in. I think it’s time to admit that if it wasn’t for the like him or passionately hate him aura around Peter Rosenberg, a lot more folks would. be praising this compilation as one of the finest since peak DJ street tape era.)

4. “Black Sunlight” - Armand Hammer & The Alchemist feat. KAYANA

https://armandhammer.bandcamp.com/track/black-sunlight-featuring-kayana

(What more can I say about this union by now? Al dipping into his breezy bag to bless the lyrical onslaught of billy woods and ELUCID was not something that I thought I needed, but after hearing them cook together I don’t know if I ever want Armand Hammer to go back to the bleak soundscapes they’re often know for. The contract in style was so effective throughout Haram, bringing out the best from all parties, in my not-so-humble opinion...hopefully even more to come from this alliance.)

3. “TV Dinners” - The Alchemist feat. Sideshow & Boldy James

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuUGrlVivic

(A slick, seemingly harmless little head nodder from The Alchemist, Boldy and the rapidly ascending main-stage level Sideshow. I felt this one right from the jump the day Al’s This Thing of Ours EP dropped, and it’s remained high on my list of 2021 favorites ever since. Give me a bunch of chill MCs doing deceptively slick pen-work over a jazzy but simple loop, and I’m set.)

2. “The 26th Letter” - Mach-Hommy feat. Westside Gunn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7jcjW8h230

(Forget the albums that go for thousand of dollars. Forget the mysterious aura around him, forget the Twitter stan-dom and those that loathe them, and forget the flames of Griselda gossip that are fanned by both fans and doubters....and just imagine you never heard this MC rap before and you have just pressed play on “The 26th Letter”. )

1. “Kill All Rats” - Conway & Big Ghost LTD. feat. Ransom & Rome Streetz

https://bigghostlimited.bandcamp.com/track/kill-all-rats-ft-ransom-rome-streetz

(Whenever attempting to wrangle my favorite songs into one tidy list, there is one ex-factor that can elevate a collection of bars to an elite song: execution. You already know that when punchlines kings the caliber of Ransom, Rome Streetz, and Conway The Machine get on a record together, it’s bound to be a bar-fest....but to the extent of “Kill All Rats”??? Not expected. The name of the song itself invites a certain degree of redundancy, but when three great MCs jump on a track and write verses near the top of their skill level - and when a producer like Big Ghost sounds equally incensed with the instrumental that he brought to the table - even a straight-forward posse cut can end up being the best rap song of the year thus far.)

*COMING SOON: BEST RAP ALBUMS, AND RAP VERSES OF THE FIRST HALF OF 2021...stay tuned.* 👀

See also:

https://therappundit.tumblr.com/post/649527317251670016/best-of-the-1st-quarter

https://therappundit.tumblr.com/post/638904640503726080/the-best-rap-songs-of-2020-great-songs-that

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a-girl-who-believes-in-magic · 4 years ago

Text

Saving People, Hunting Things

After Chuck is finally defeated and all the humans are back where they belong, Sam and Dean go back to the bunker. They just stand there for a while, right next to the door, and look at each other. It’s quiet now that everyone is gone. Cas, Jack, even Michael isn’t around anymore. It’s just the two of them again. Neither of them likes it. Dean is the first one to break the silence. “Come on!” he says, smiling. “I’m gonna make us some food. I’m starving.” Sam slowly follows him to the kitchen. Dean is not fine. They both know it. And they both ignore it. For now.

They have burgers and beer and Dean laughs, a bit too loud and a bit too long, but that’s just what it is. And one day it will stop hurting. He still has Sam left. His baby brother, the person he loves most in this world. And he is free. Free from Chuck and his twisted games, free to do whatever he likes. He needs to remember that when it gets worse. Later, Sam leaves. And it does get worse.

Sam doesn’t like to leave Dean, it’s easy enough to see that, but Dean smiles and tells him to fuck off and check on Eileen because he knows that Sam has been itching to do that pretty much since Jack brought everyone back including her and finally the door closes behind the younger Winchester and Dean is alone.

He walks back to his room, sits down on his bed and just stares at the wall. He doesn’t move for hours. Eventually, the tears start to fall, one after one. And he keeps staring, and for the first time he allows himself to think about Cas again. About what Cas said and about what Dean didn’t say and the things they will never say to each other and it hurts. But it is okay. They decide to go on one last hunt, to celebrate the good old times. It’s just the two of them again and Baby of course. Dean is driving, they listen to Led Zeppelin and Sam talks about finishing law school. And then he talks about moving in with Eileen. And Dean is happy for him, he really is, but the bunker is going to be even quieter with Sam gone as well. But there’s nowhere Dean wants to go, nothing he wants to do, so he will stay anyway and wait for the day when it gets better.

The job is easy enough. A couple of vamps terrorising a small town just outside of Lawrence. Returning there is bittersweet. Dean would have expected it to be harder. But he has made his peace, and so has Sam.

They follow the vamps to a remote barn. Dean parks the Impala at a close field and they get their blades. They smile at each other as they walk up to the front door. This is how it was always meant to be. Saving people, hunting things, the family business. No god involved.

When they find out, it’s a small pack, Dean is almost disappointed. They have agreed that this is they’re last hunt. And he knows it’s for the best. But a part of him wishes it would go on a little longer. Maybe he just doesn’t want to face the empty that is waiting for him back home and in his head.

They kill the two vampires that are the closest to the door in mere seconds. One sets of through a back door and Sam follows him, leaving Dean with the last two. He grins. He has faced demons and angels and God himself. They don’t stand a chance.

A couple of minutes later his phone rings. He is cleaning his blade while waiting for Sam to return from his little jog, but when he sees his brother’s name on the display, he frowns and picks up. Sam is panting heavily. “Dean! Get out of there. The pack is bigger than we expected.” He gets on his feet. “What?” “They’re driving right up to the barn. It’s like ten of them in that car.” Sam says and Dean can hear that he is running. “I’m getting the Impala but they will reach you first.” Deans smile doesn’t fade. “Don’t hurry on my account.” he says. “It’ll be fun.” Then he hangs up.

A minute later Dean hears a car pulling up. Doors open and close, people get out. Somebody screams. There’s a loud bang. And then quiet. Somebody is walking up to the barn. Dean raises his blade. The doors swing open and Dean gets ready to strike the first vampire to walk in. Except that there is no vampire left. Just an angel with blue eyes and black hair and a smile on his lips. “Hello Dean.” Dean drops his blade. “Cas?”

There is a part of him that doesn’t believe it. Doesn’t dare to. But Lucifer is gone and Chuck is gone and there is no one left to play tricks like that on him anymore. “Are you really here?” he asks. Cas nods. “Jack brought me to heaven first, but then I heard Sam praying and came down.” And Dean rushes over to him and pulls him into a hug. He doesn’t let go, not for a while. When he finally does his eyes are teary. He doesn’t care. “What was Sam praying for?” he asks. “For someone to save your stupid ass from the vampires.”

Dean turns around. Sam is walking up to them. He hugs Cas as well. But not quite as long. “I knew you wouldn’t get out of here.” he scolds Dean after he has stepped back again. Dean shrugs. “What can I say man, I’m not running from fucking vamps.” They share a look, knowing that’s not all. But it doesn't matter any more. Cas is back. And Dean Winchester is saved.

They don’t talk about that one night, not for a very long time. But Cas doesn’t seem to mind. He just keeps being Cas, always smiling when Dean looks at him, always being there for him. Dean expects him to return to heaven again, but when they reach the bunker Cas is still there. He walks in with them, he has dinner with them, they watch a film and when Dean leaves to go to bed Cas is there to say goodnight. And he is there to say good morning the next day. And the following day. And all the days that come afterwards. He is there when Sam moves out, when Dean gets a job as a car engineer, when Charlie comes over, when Sam and Dean have dinner with Jody and Donna. Sometimes Dean wonders if it gets boring for Cas, living with him. After all, he is an angel and Dean nothing more but a human, a mortal. But then he remembers what Cas has told him, before the empty took him. He wants to say it back. Wants to tell Cas that he can have what he wants. But it’s the one thing he can’t get himself to do. Not yet. And he doesn’t need to. Cas already knows.

Sam marries Eileen two years later. Their first kid is on the way. Dean has proposed to name it after him when it is born. For some reason Sam has reclined. He still gets to be the godfather though, so he doesn’t complain too much about it.

Dean and Cas go there together. It’s a nice, small ceremony, no church and just a couple of friends. Family. Dean doesn’t cry. At all. But there was wind, and it blew him right in the face and that’s why they are red afterwards.

People start dancing later and eventually it’s just Dean and Cas who are left at the tables. Dean has a beer. He watches his little brother. Sam is smiling. He looks happy. And for once in their life, it will stay that way.

Than Dean looks over to Cas. The angel is watching Sam as well. Then he realises that Dean is watching him and looks over. Their eyes meet. Suddenly Dean feels like he is sixteen again. He clears his throat. “Uhm, you wanna dance?” he asks. Cas grins. “I thought you’d never ask.” he says. They get up. Dean doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. Cas takes position opposite of him. “I’m afraid you’re gonna have to teach me how to do this.” he says. “I should have done that a long time ago.” Dean says. And then he does teach him. Cas is good at dancing.

It past midnight when Dean proposes to take a walk. Cas agrees instantly. They’re pretty far from the next town and it’s a clear night. The stars are beautiful. They both look up to them while they walk down the path, next to each other, no destination in mind. And without really thinking about it, Dean takes Cas hand. “You can have it, by the way.” he says. He doesn’t quite know why, but it is okay to say it now. This is good. It’s safe. “If you still want it.” Cas knows what he’s talking about right away. He squeezes Dean’s hand. “Always.” he says. And he means it.

Dean dies first, after many years. Sam has become a lawyer, he has two kids, none of them called Dean, but the girl still develops an almost worrying obsession with pie and classic rock and her uncle. She seems to share that with her godfather, Castiel. Both of the kids stay with Dean and Cas sometimes. Dean is the one to teach them how to drive. Neither of them hunt for a day in their life. They still both get pentagram tattoos when they’re older, though. It’s the family symbol, after all.

When Dean reaches heaven Bobby is there, waiting for him. Dean hugs him. Bobby smiles. “I missed you, idjit.” They share a beer. Then Dean goes to visit the others. They all live around and Baby is there waiting for him, taking him to their houses. First, he makes a stop at his parent’s. They have dinner. But eventually Dean moves on. There are so many more he needs to see. Charlie, the one from this world, Jo and Ellen, Rufus, it takes him a while.

When he’s done, he stops at a bridge in the middle of nowhere. It’s beautiful here, he’s just realising that. He knows that Sam is there before he seems him. A smile appears on his face as he turns around to hug his brother. Sam hugs him back, so tight that it almost hurts. It has been longer for him than it has for Dean. Cas and Jack appear at their side. Jack looks older, wiser, but when he hugs them it’s just like it always was. Cas takes Dean’s hand as they all walk to the railing and watch the sun set in the distance.

#supernatural 15x20 #spoiler #alternative 15x20 #destiel #I'm dissapointed so this happened #eileen leahy #sam winchester #dean winchest #castiel #The Angel does appeare because he just does #mutual pining #fluff #fanfiction

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fandomsofafeather · 4 years ago

Text

Save Me From The Dark

Supernatural reversal!au

Angelic!dean

Human!cas

CHAPTER 1: DEATH'S DOOR

Introduction:

It's been months...

I can't take this life anymore...

I've given too much...

I'm sorry...

Castiel Novak the righteous man is the one to be the true sword. A vessel of sorts and he doesn't know it yet but he's in for an eye opening experience. His brother is the rebel of the two not always following familial orders from their father, and Balthazar is a loose cannon in certain situations.

Per usual they are traveling the states far and wide to a job and just waiting for something to strike. Feeling the sense of hunger kicking in for both

of the brothers they stop at a tiny restaurant in the middle of nowhere. Balthazar, "I'll grab food just keep the car warm". Cas nods slightly to balthazar hardly paying attention and listening to the hum of the radio. It takes a minute for castiel to realize his brother has completely disappeared. He gets out of the car and frantically goes into the restaurant to find defiled and dead employee's.

Cas, “son of a b-” BALTHAZAR!! WHERE ARE YOU!? He pulls his gun out as a precaution. He searches the place inside and out but his brother is long gone. He gets back into the car and drives immediately to Raphael's place.

He shows up in distress and Raphael is reading up on some lore as cas busts in like a bat out of the belfry tower.

Raph! I need your help, Balthazar is missing and there was sulfur so I'm thinking demons took him. Calmly Raphael replies, "what do you need Castiel? What do you mean demons took your brother? What could he possibly be needed for?" Cas, "I need a tracking spell maybe I can find him that way." Alright, I'll see what I can find and Castiel we will find him I promise you.

Balthazar wakes up in an abandoned town, now very acutely aware of the situation and is on high alert. Hello!? Is anyone out there!? No response for now but he reaches for his gun and it's gone. Damn, he says and marches out in search of someone, anyone. It takes a while but finally a noise is heard.

Balthazar, "HEY! WHO'S THERE? A timid and scared voice answers. They sound hurt as well, hello..? I need help, I'm hurt pretty badly... Balthazar now calmly goes into the building to find a short, light brown hair, pale from blood loss. M-my name is Nazeren I've been trapped here for months.

My name is Balthazar now softer in tone, hey tell me what hurts I can maybe patch you up just enough. I've lost a lot of blood, I think it's my leg and it's a pretty deep cut. I'll need stitches. Balthazar quickly works on the injury gathering enough material to make a tourniquet to stop the blood and maybe save this girl's life. Nazarene, "Wow I-I didn't know I'd be getting a doctor's worth of treatment." Balthazar, "I'm no doctor kid I just know how to make things work."

Castiel and Raphael finally figured out a tracking spell and were able to locate within a thousand miles. They notice a pattern of old churches and railways. Castiel, "a devils trap seriously? What are they trying to keep in?"

He thinks to himself quiet, and then it hits him. They are trying to keep in the gates of hell these churches were built way back when holy! Samuel Winchester was the most famous hunter of his time and he was so good at what he did he was able to retire out of life along with trading off his most prized possession...the colt it was the master piece of equipment. It's bullets would kill anything and everything.

Raphael takes a deep breath, "We've still got over a thousand miles of ground to cover." Cas, "we'll split up, I'll start at the center you take the outer portion and we will meet in the middle." Raphael, "What happens if we get cut off from each other or worse?" We need to prepare ourselves this is bigger than the three of us". Hell if your father knew you were going after demons he'd be pissed. Castiel, "your point? They have my brother!" I have to do this and I don't care if it kills us both at least we went down swinging!

Raphael sighs knowing there won't be a way to calm Castiel until his brother is found and he gathers up as much holy water and even makes a recorded exorcism on his phone just in case. Balthazar now carrying the woman to a more secure place in the abandoned town he notices an old church off in the distance and the cemetery to boot. "What are you looking for?" Nazarene asks.

"I'm looking for iron, maybe a safe space so I can maybe find some thread may not be the freshest thing in the world but at least your leg will be stitched up, and maybe we can get outta here, just bare with me for the moment kid," he says just barely listening as he heads over to the church and while noting the cemetery and spots a huge crypt in the middle and a devils trap on the door.

"Oh no", now realizing what that crypt is and why he's here with Nazarene "Kid we are screwed". Nazarene, "well obviously" she smiles and now out of Balthazar's arms. She's standing like nothing's wrong. Nazeren, "did you really think that I was here for the good of my health" she says as she pulls out a gun. It looks old 1800's almost and it doesn't help that it looks like the key to that crypt either. Balthazar, "Damn it and I thought it was going to be just fine, I'll help the girl and maybe get out of here but nope." Nazarene cocks the gun and points it at Balthazar.

"Well pretty boy let's get this gate open and let some demons out to play!" she sneers. She quickly runs to the crypt's door and sticks the gun in and Balthazar is hot on her heels and tackles her to the ground. Clanking and whirring can be heard from the door. "Hell on earth!" Nazarene smiles sinisterly. Balthazar rushes to get the gun. Finally, showing up to the party Castiel and Raphael just in time to see the gates to hell open.

Castiel, "WE GOTTA GET THIS CLOSED NOW!!" the wind howling as hundreds of demons escape. All three of them rush to shut the doors. They manage to shut them, Castiel pulls the colt from the door and notices it's cocked, he shoots Nazeren and they take off with the colt.

Balthazar, "Nice timing brother but how the hell are we going to clean up this mess?" Castiel replies, "I don't know I just know we need to get outta here, ya got that?" Raphael, "I'm glad your ok Balthazar and Castiel we are going to be in so much trouble." They get back and there waiting is Castiel and Balthazar's father Chuck.

"Where have you three been?" He asks calmly. Uh nowhere, I was working a job, and I was picking up supplies. Hoping that would satisfy their father and ease him into accepting that but he doesn't. Chuck, "liars" as his eyes flick yellow and a smirk is wide on his face. Castiel quickly cocks the gun again and aims it at their father. Balthazar speaks up in a stern and cold tone "what do you want?"

Chuck, "all I want is for our leader to play his part ya know and do something great! Ya know it's funny to me when I found out about you two, the boring brothers who will risk it all for each other." Well I'm not gonna stand around and wait for something to happen I'm gonna take matters into my own hands. Suddenly a swift and loud crack is heard by balthazar and castiel. It sounds like bones being broken and immediately Raphael drops to the floor and so does Balthazar. Castiel, "NO!" he says as it falls on deaf ears and then the demon leaves as chuck drops to the floor as well.

Castiel waits a few months and then finally makes the call to go to the crossroads. Broken and beaten cas waits for a demon to come and finally one shows. "Who dare summon me and for what reason?" The demon is stuck in a devils trap. "Aww look what the cat dragged in," the demon almost mocking Castiel. "I wanna make a deal," he says, desperate and tired. Really a hunter making a deal that's just pathetic but fine I'll bring' em back but you screw with the deal they drop. Also you get six months that's it and you go to hell. Hope what your after is worth all this.

Castiel, "deal."

#jensen ackles #dean winchester #misha collins #castiel #destiel #supernatural #reversal

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desiraypark · 4 years ago

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When the Sun Sleeps in Canto Bight [4]

Previous Entire Work CHAPTER PLAYERS Ruby Girard, The Beautiful Singer Crystal Canon, Ruby’s roommate Kylo Ren, Leader of the Knights of Ren Vicrul “Vic” Arden, Senior Knights of Ren member/Kylo’s mentor Matilda “Tillie” Arden, Vic’s wife/former nurse Evin Chauntaine, leader/pianist of the Galaxy Syncopators Flora Chauntaine, Evin’s wife

CHAPTER CONTENT Plot-building; backstory; blood; language; little “lovers quarrel” or spat. Word Count: 1,764

“You’re home early,” Crystal said, sitting by the radio and drinking a cocktail in her robe. Ruby walked into the apartment and forced a smile. “Yeah, tonight was a little hectic.” Ruby plopped on the sofa with Crystal. “What’s that?” Crystal held her glass out to her. “Try it.” Ruby grabbed the glass, took a sip and nodded. Something with gin. Then she handed it back. Crystal’s eyes narrowed at the sight of Ruby’s hand, stained with blood. “What the hell happened?” she asked. Ruby sighed and melted into the old, stiff sofa that was there when Crystal had moved in with her ex-husband ten years ago.

“So, the Lieutenant was fooling with me again, tonight…” “They haven’t thrown him out on his ass yet?” Crystal asked. “Chile, they’re always throwing him and out and he always strolls back in. But anyway, he started doing his usual thing. This time he put his arm around me...”

“Oh, no...” “And Kylo ended up beating him something terrible.”

Crystal’s eyebrow raised. “Kylo, huh?”

Ruby snapped her fingers. “Shit, I forgot my flowers. But yeah, Kylo. Poe put him out, and me and Kylo had a couple of drinks. Then, we left. We stepped outside and The Lieutenant came out of nowhere and cut him.” “What?!” “Yeah.” “Is he alright? Kylo?” “Yeah, I think he’s alright. He drove me home. Dripping with blood, though...” Worry flashed across Ruby’s face, and Crystal stared for a bit. Then, she took a sip of her drink. “I’ve heard some things about him, Ruby. Kylo…” “Like what?” Ruby asked, putting her feet up on the sofa, bringing her knees close to her chin. “I’ve heard that he’s just…he’s just violent, Ruby. He was dishonorably discharged from the military for fighting. He’s notorious for getting into bar fights. I guess tonight was fight number two hundred, perhaps? I’ve even heard that he tried to kill his father…” “How do you know all of this?” Ruby asked. “I’ve asked a few questions…” “Of course, you did,” Ruby said. She rolled her eyes and got up from the sofa. She started to her bedroom. “His own parents don’t want anything to do with him,” Crystal added. “Well, damn—how many people did you ask?” Ruby stopped and asked. “I didn’t have to ask many, Ruby. Apparently, he has a pretty nasty reputation. He’s a member of the Knights of Ren.” ”What are the Knights of Ren?” ”A gang, Ruby. They own bars and nightclubs, apparently. They make their money off of alcohol; women--the usual stuff.” Ruby stared at Crystal and sighed. “I’m not about to marry the guy. I barely know him. Besides, he’s been nothing but nice to me...” Crystal shrugged. “Isn’t that usually how it goes, Ruby?”

Before Ruby could respond, Crystal threw her hands up in surrender. “Look, you’re an adult. It’s your life. I just...I just want you to be careful.”

Ruby nodded and went into her bedroom. She closed the door and let everything crash around her. More bar fights? He tried to kill his father?! Daddy and mommy issues? ********************

“Fucking hell, Kylo…” Vic said, walking into the house with his bloody faced child boss towering over him. “Tillie?!” Vic dragged him to the kitchen. “Tillie?!” he called again. “I’m comin’, I’m comin’…” Tillie said. Vic’s wife slid through the kitchen in her robe. Her eyes widened at the sight of Kylo’s bloody face. “Stars. I’ll go get my kit…” She disappeared and Kylo leaned back in the chair, taking in a deep breath. “Kid. I’m starting to second guess Ren’s wishes every day, now,” Vic said shaking his head. Kylo groaned through a chuckle. “It’s nothing.” Tillie returned with a small medical kit and looked Kylo’s face over. “You’re probably going to need stitches, Kylo. That’s the kind of job that’s better done at a hospital...” Kylo groaned again. “You can’t do stitches, Mrs. A?” “I can, but I don’t have a proper numbing agent,” she answered, putting her fists on her hips. Kylo shook his head. “I don’t need no numbin’ agent.” Tillie looked at Vic, and Vic shrugged. She scoffed and opened her kit. “I’ll never understand you fellas’ dislike of hospitals.” She walked out of the kitchen again. “How the fuck did this happen, Kylo?” Vic asked. “Just a little fight, that’s all. Some drunk old man.” Vic’s eyes widened. “An old man?!” “Not old old—like your age.” “Well, thanks.” Kylo chucked and rested his head on the table. Vic grabbed his hair and lifted his head back up. “You tryin’ to ruin my wife’s fine place mats, the hell’s wrong with you?” Tillie came back in with a couple of wash clothes. She went to the sink and wet one with warm water, and wiped Kylo’s cheek. “Is this old man going to be a problem for us?” Vic asked. “Yeah…if he keeps fuckin’ with my girl,” Kylo said. He closed his eyes and felt the dabs against his face stopped. His eyes popped open and Vic and Tillie were both staring at him—Vic with raised eyebrows and Tillie with a smirk. “Ahh, so that’s what this is about?” Vic said. He grinned. Tillie continued to wipe and smiled. “Well, it’s about time. My Kylo dear has a girlfriend, huh?” “Who is she?” Vic asked. He smacked Kylo’s shoulder. “Well. She ain’t my girl, yet. I’m workin’ on it.” “She must be pretty special for you to be sitting here with a bloody face…” Tillie said. “Girl or no girl,” Vic chimed in. “You need to be more careful, Kylo. You’ve already got a reputation. People are gonna think you’re a loose cannon and won’t want to work with us anymore.” “Well, that ain’t gonna happen,” Kylo said assuredly. He closed his eyes again. Vic stared at Kylo’s rested face—his own eyes filled with worry. Tillie looked at him and forced a smile. “You need me to do anything, Love?” Vic asked. “Toss this in the laundry,” Tillie said holding up the bloodied washcloth. “And wash your hands after. I’ll need your help when I start stitching Mr. Iron Cheek here.” ********************

Kylo was walking up to Ruby’s building when a voice shouted in his direction. He turned to see Evin Chauntaine in the driver’s seat of car. A pretty woman was in the passenger’s seat. Kylo raised his eyebrow suspiciously. “Yeah?” “My name is Evin. I sing at the Galaxy,” he said. “This is my wife, Flora.” Kylo stepped closer to the car, eyebrow still raised. “Nice to meet you.” “I just wanted to take thank you for what you did for Ruby, man. The old man’s always trying to flirt with her but he ain’t never put his hands on her before,” Evin said. Kylo’s face softened, then his eyebrows furrowed. “Why ain’t nobody ever put his ass out?” “They always do. But he always comes back. But I guess it just doesn’t look good for business to throw a vet out on his ass.” “Hmm. Fuck that,” Kylo mumbled.

Ruby came out of the building in just a simple pink dress and white shoes—no makeup--or not a lot of it, anyway. And she was still fucking stunner. She slowed her walk when she noticed Kylo. “Hey…” she said softly, a little surprise in her voice. She looked at his cheek and the strip of black thread going down it. “Hey. I was just comin’ to check on you.” “Check on me?” Ruby asked. “Yeah.” “Well, I’m fine. Thanks.” Ruby smiled and grabbed the car door. Kylo frowned. “I’ll see you around,” she said climbing in. “Nah, nah, nah…” Kylo said. He grabbed the door before Ruby could close it, then dipped his head in front of the passenger window. “You in a rush?” “No.” “Yes.” Ruby pursed her lips at Evin. “Uh...we don’t wanna run into traffic...” Evin said, attempting to fix his error. Kylo moved his head in Ruby’s direction. “What’s the matter with you?” Ruby rolled her eyes and climbed out of the car. Then, she gestured for Kylo to follow her down the sidewalk. He did, and they stopped some yards away from Evin’s car. Suddenly, Evin’s engine turned off. “I’m just going to come right out and say it. I’ve heard some unsavory things about you,” Ruby said. Kylo rolled his eyes. “And?” “I don’t think I like what I’ve heard…” Kylo scoffed. “Babydoll, you ain’t no fool. I think you know what I do for a livin’.” Ruby folded her arms and chewed on the inside of her mouth. Kylo smirked. “Look at you, pretendin’ to be all sad and hurt. Sure, people think I’m a fuckin’ asshole. I ever been an asshole to you?” “You haven’t been one to me, but I watched you beat up an old man. Twice.” “And it had you sweatin’ like a whore in church, too,” Kylo shot at her. Ruby’s jaw dropped. “Don’t play this game with me, Ruby. What’s really on your mind?” Ruby picked her mouth back up and looked away. Then back at Kylo. “What’s with you and your parents?” Kylo’s eyes narrowed. This time, he averted his eyes and sighed. “Should’ve just asked me that instead of all of these dramatics, Babydoll.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked at his feet, then back up at Ruby. “Leia Organa Solo—the woman who changed your life and shit? Well, that’s my mother.” Ruby’s eyebrows knitted together. “Your mother...?” “So…Pastor Solo is your dad?” Ruby asked. “He’s my father,” Kylo said. Ruby saw pain in his face when he said that, and suddenly felt bad for bringing it up. She gazed at him with sympathetic eyes. But he rolled his own again. “Stop lookin’ at me like that. Look, I ain’t comin’ to the club no day next week. I’ve been advised to lay low,” he said with a scoff. “But I wanna cook you some dinner.” Ruby’s eyebrows shot up. “You? Cook me dinner?” “Yeah, I cook. I’m a damned good one.” Ruby tilted her head and sighed. “I don’t know…” “What are you doin’ Primeday?” he asked. “I—” “You eatin’ dinner at my place, huh?” Ruby blushed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I think that’s what you’re doin’…” Ruby gave him a soft punch in the chest. He winced only out of instinct, not because of her delicate impact. “Hey, look now. Don’t you get in the habit of trying to control me.” Kylo smirked. He reached his hand out and toyed with the fabric over her waist. “So, is that a yes, or a no?”

#when the sun sleeps in canto bight

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liesyousoldme · 5 years ago

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What are some of your favorite book quotes from IT?

suddenly my highlighting has come in handy!

there are a lot so under a cut! also i stopped about right before they go into the sewers because nothing good happens there!!!!

“[Patty] also liked the show because she almost always got the most popular answers (there were no right answers on Family Feud, exactly; only the most popular ones). She had once asked Stan why the questions that seemed so easy to her usually seemed so hard to the families on the show. “It’s probably a lot tougher when you’re up there under the lights,” Stanley had replied, and it seemed to her that a shadow had drifted over his face. “Everything’s a lot tougher when it’s for real. That’s when you choke. When it’s for real.”

“(Eddie runs quite fast he runs quite fast when you’re not here runs quite fast when there’s nobody around to remind him how delicate he is and I see in his face Mrs. Kaspbrak that he knows now at the age of nine he knows that the biggest favor in the world he could do himself would be to run fast in any direction you’re not going let him go Mrs. Kaspbrak let him RUN)”

“Eddie was all the more delicate because sometimes he suspected he was not delicate at all; Eddie needed to be protected from his own dim intimations of possible bravery.”

“But, [Eddie] supposes, if God is dirty-mean enough to curse the faithful with what they want most in life, He’s maybe quirky enough to deal you a good chuck or two along the way.”

“Man, he had hated it when Richie called him Eds... but he had sort of liked it, too.... It was something... like a secret name. A secret identity. A way to be people that had nothing to do with their parents’ fears, hopes, constant demands. Richie couldn’t do his beloved Voices for shit, but maybe he did know how important it was for creeps like them to sometimes be different people.”

“When you ran with Bill you ran to beat the devil and you laughed... but you hardly ever ran out of breath. And hardly ever running out of breath was great, so fucking great, Eddie would tell the world.”

“It was just Richie. He could drive you bugshit... but it was still sort of nice to have him around.”

“Once [Eddie] had looked up and seen seagulls (probably just fat old dump-gulls who didn’t give a shit if they ever saw the ocean, but that had not occurred to him then) wheeling and crying overhead, and the sound of their voices had made him cry a little, too.

“I got me a disease that’s eating me up. My skin’s cracking open, my teeth are falling out, and you know what? I can feel myself turning bad like an apple that’s going soft, I can feel it happening, eating me from the inside to the out, eating, eating, eating me.”

“That’s cause they know how cute you are, Eds - just like me. I saw what a cutie you were the first time I met you.”

“The Teenage Werewolf was somehow scarier, though... perhaps because he also seemed a little sad. What happened wasn’t his own fault. There was this hypnotist who had fucked him up, but the only reason he’d been able to was that the kid who turned into the werewolf was full of anger and bad feelings. Richie found himself wondering if there were many people in the world hiding bad feelings like that.”

“[Stan] wanted to tell them that there were worse things than being frightened. You could be frightened by things like almost having a car hit you while you were riding your bike or, before the Salk vaccine, getting polio.... You could be frightened of all those things and still function. But those things in the Standpipe... He wanted to tell them that those dead boys who had lurched and shambled their way down the spiral staircase had done something worse than frighten him: they had offended him.... They offended any sane person’s sense of order...I got nothing else to say, except that two and two makes four, the lights in the sky are stars, if there’s blood grownups can see it as well as kids, and dead boys stay dead. You can live with fear, I think, Stan would have said if he could... It’s offense you maybe can’t live with, because it opens up a crack inside your thinking... Everything leads to everything, he would have told them if he could. Go to church and listen to your stories about Jesus walking on the water, but if I saw a guy doing that I’d scream and scream and scream. Because it wouldn’t look like a miracle to me. It would look like an offense.”

“Eddie felt the familiar tightening sensation as his throat began to close up to a pinhole. Not this time, dammit, he thought suddenly. Not if my friends need me.”

“...Eddie said softly, “Some stuff has to be done even if there is a risk. That’s the first important thing I ever found out I didn’t find out from my mother.”

“The energy you drew on so extravagantly when you were a kid, the energy you thought would never exhaust itself - that slipped away somewhere between eighteen and twenty-four, to be replaced by something much duller, something as bogus as a coke-high: purpose, maybe, or goals... It was no big deal; it didn’t go all at once, with a bang. And maybe, Richie thought, that’s the scary part. How you don’t stop being a kid all at once, with a big explosive bang... The kid in you just leaked out, like the air out of a tire. And one day you look in the mirror and there was a grownup looking back at you.”

“In a book or a movie what I found out that day before Bowers broke my arm would have changed my life forever and nothing would have happened the way it did... in a book or a movie it would have set me free. In a book or a movie I wouldn’t have a whole suitcase full of pills back in my room at the Town House, I wouldn’t be married to Myra, I wouldn’t have this stupid fucking aspirator here right now. In a book or a movie.”

“And almost idly, in a kind of side-thought, Eddie discovered one of his childhood’s great truths. Grownups are the real monsters.”

“I think it was the first real pain I ever felt in my life, he would tell the others. It wasn’t what I thought it would be at all. I didn’t put an end to me as a person. I think... it gave me a basis for comparison, finding out that you could still exist inside the pain, in spite of the pain.”

“There was great clarity inside the pain (although, in truth, this was not a clarity that Eddie would want to experience often: the price was too high).”

“She’s not the leper, please don’t think that, she’s only eating me because she loves me...”

“Maybe, [Eddie] thought, there aren’t any such things as good friends or bad friends - maybe there are just friends, people who stand by you when you’re hurt and who help you feel not so lonely. Maybe they’re always worth being scared for, and hoping for, and living for. Maybe worth dying for, too, if that’s what it has to be. No good friends. No bad friends. Only people who you want, need to be with; people who build their houses in your heart.”

#it meta #Anonymous

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the-desolated-quill · 5 years ago

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BBC’s The War Of The Worlds blog - Episode 3

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

You know, people often ask me why I get so angry when I’m reviewing BBC shows. I mean yes I give Disney and Marvel a hard time too, but they don’t get nearly as much bile and venom as I give the BBC. Well that’s because, unlike Disney and Marvel, BBC shows are funded by the British taxpayer through our TV licence fees. I’m effectively paying for them to make this crap. That’s what pisses me off more than anything.

Yes we mercifully come to the end of this... this. Episode 1 was a slow, plodding and utterly tedious affair that was about as exciting as an Amish bachelor party. Episode 2 was even worse thanks to its poor narrative structure, terrible characterisation and less than subtle allegories. Now Harness has come to hammer the final nail in the coffin with Episode 3. Is it bad?

...

You’re right, that’s a stupid question. A more apt question would be how bad is it. Very, very bad is the answer. Very, very bad indeed.

Lets start with the obvious problem. The non-linear narrative introduced in the previous episode. The stupid early reveal that the Martians ultimately lose and that Amy survives completely destroyed any and all tension and suspense thanks to Peter Harness desperately trying to outwit the audience instead of just telling a story. Now, bizarrely, he tries to reintroduce tension by having the characters umming and arghing about what killed the Martians off and whether this could help stop the Earth from terraforming. One teeny, tiny problem with this though. The audience already know! Even those that never read the original book know how it ended! And even if you didn’t, the episode drops enough hints like great fucking boulders. The prevalence of typhoid throughout the episode and its correlation with the Martians stumbling around like a drunken prom date isn’t exactly hard to miss. Harness’ writing is still as unsubtle as ever. But worse still, he completely undermines and misses the point of the ending to War Of The Worlds.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people (mostly Americans) criticise the end of the original book for being a deus ex machina. I mean the Martians get killed off by the common cold. How stupid, right? Except it’s not because those people (mostly Americans) are looking at it the wrong way. Your main takeaway shouldn’t be that the Martians were easily killed off by bacteria. Rather that we failed to stop them. The reason humanity prevails in the end is more down to luck than anything else. The narrator even attributes this to being an act of God. But here’s the thing. We didn’t stand a chance against the Martians. We didn’t beat them. They lost because they just happened to catch a cold. Now it’s not hard to imagine a society as scientifically advanced as their’s to be able to find some kind of cure or vaccine for it. And if and when they do, what then? We’d be fucked, wouldn’t we? Should the Martians ever return to finish what they started, the human race would be well and truly doomed. It’s not a deus ex machina. It’s a dire warning of what’s to come. A brief respite before the inevitable. That’s what makes the ending so effective.

The BBC series however completely misunderstands this, changing the story so that Ogilvy (an astronomer, don’t forget) somehow manages to weaponize typhoid in order to kill the red weed, which is presented as some kind of victory, when in reality it’s quite an insulting deviation from the source material. If only the Commonwealth could shake off the remnants of British colonialism as easily as these guys dealt with the red weed. Not to mention it just makes the Martians look really stupid. So they come to Earth, drink our blood, keel over and then... what, they just give up? Are they just waiting for humanity to die by itself? What happens when Mars HQ realises the red weed hasn’t worked? What then? Are they just going to shrug it off? It doesn’t make any sense.

Which brings us to the Martians themselves. The picture above comes from the Jeff Wayne musical version and is without a doubt the most accurate depiction of the Martians from the book. Most of the other adaptations have wildly different interpretations, which isn’t a problem in and of itself provided it works within the context of that particular narrative. However the reason I bring up the original design is so I can talk about what H.G. Wells intended when he came up with them. See, while the Martians are highly intelligent, they’re also presented as being quite vestigial. They’re sluggish thanks to Earth’s heavier gravity, rendered practically deaf thanks to Earth’s dense atmosphere and apparently have no organs with which to digest their food, hence their need to inject human blood directly into themselves for sustenance. The Martians represent what humanity could become as we become more and more reliant on technology. The Industrial Revolution brought about a lot of societal fears and concerns at the time, and the Martians are those fears manifested. Heartless creatures reduced to being simple brains, unable to properly interact with the world around them.

The BBC series goes a very different route. Instead of the giant brains, we instead get giant brown crabs, which, again, isn’t necessarily a problem provided it works in context. And that’s the problem. It doesn’t. The original Wells design told us what we needed to know about their biology, their motivations and their society. What do we learn about the BBC Martians? They’re big, generic monsters that look like rejects from Stranger Things. They don’t even inject blood into themselves. They feed off of us directly, leechlike. They’re more like animals. Not the vast, cold, unsympathetic intellects they were described to be. At no point do you buy that these creatures would be capable of building the Tripods or colonising the Earth. They just exist for some cheap jump scares and horror movie cliches.

What’s worse is that by changing the Martians’ design so drastically, any subtextual allegory gets chucked in the bin. The Martians from the book are meant to represent the British Empire at the height of its power. Merciless tyrants stomping all over the lives and cultures of the so called ‘lesser races,’ changing the environment to suit them rather than adapting to the existing environment. It’s Darwinism crossed with arrogance. And yet, ironically, the oppressors (the Martians) are technically inferior to the natives (the humans) as they are incapable of surviving without the aid of technology. The BBC series is unable to make this allegory, so Harness has to resort to straight up telling the audience the allegory. In by far the clunkiest scene in the entire series, we see George argue with his brother about how the Martians are no different from the Brits in their colonial ways. Not only does this break the ‘show, don’t tell’ rule and stands as a perfect example of bad storytelling, Harness doesn’t even bother to do anything with this other than just making the comparison. It’s been previously established that Amy was born and raised in India. You’d think she’d have something to say about all this, but nope. At the end, she wistfully describes India to her son in the most patronising and insulting way possible. It’s really quite disgusting. I mean H.G. Wells was quite patronising towards the Tasmanians in the book, but in his defence, he was a privileged white man from the 1800s. What’s Peter Harness’ excuse?! Ostensibly he pays lip service to the idea that the Martians are no different from the Brits, but he doesn’t want to really explore it or get us to actually think about it. Probably because it’s all a bit too complicated to get into, but if he’s not confident about exploring such topics, why the fuck is he adapting War Of The Worlds in the first bloody place?! Write something else!

In fact I think this is the root of all the problems with this adaptation. Harness clearly isn’t capable of exploring the complex themes of the source material, so instead he either introduces irrelevant social issues that aren’t nearly as complicated (women’s rights, empires are bad and so on) as a token show of progressiveness, or he goes as far as to uncomplicate themes and ideas to an almost offensive degree. In the book, the narrator is trapped in a church with a priest who is going through a major existential crisis and risks giving away their hiding spot to the Martians, who are busy terraforming the planet. So he resorts to knocking the priest unconscious and watching as the Martians drag his body away. In the BBC series, we see the old woman and the kid get killed off for no reason other than shock value and the characters have nothing to do with their demise, so they’re morally in the clear. The priest meanwhile doesn’t even appear in the scene, instead being relegated to the shitty flash forwards where his faith remains very much intact and even protests against the idea that it’s humanity’s illness that stopped the Martians rather than an act of God (brief side note, would Ogilvy really be this open about not believing in God? At the time of the book’s publication, the scene with the priest losing faith was considered extremely controversial, so this just seems utterly wrong). Plus there’s no tension in wondering what the Martians are doing and whether they’re going to find the characters. In fact there’s no tension whatsoever because we know the Martians have fallen ill and the characters are just hanging around, waiting for the fuckers to die. I cannot stress enough how atrociously awful the writing is in this show. We know the Martians are dying and the episode is about the characters waiting for them to die.

Jesus fucking Christ!

The Artilleryman from the previous episode was the same. In the book he was a deluded crackpot who willingly bought into imperialist dogma, believing that humanity could rebuild underground and eventually rise up and defeat the Martians. In the BBC series, he was a scared, innocent little waif being forced to fight in a war he wants no part of. It’s an incredibly shallow and uninteresting reinterpretation of the source material.

But the worst, the absolute worst, is what Harness does with George.

To be clear, no I’m not upset he gets killed off. I’ve made my views on him quite clear. He cheated on his wife because she was infertile and ran off to make whoopie with some redhead. The bastard deserves everything he gets, frankly. Plus I’ve had enough of Rafe Spall’s gormless acting to last a lifetime, thank you. What I am upset by is the way he gets killed off.

One of the most interesting parts of the original book is the fact that there are no heroes in War Of The Worlds. The Artilleryman is a young, impressionable, nationalist fool, the Priest descends into a pit of nihilistic despair, and the narrator survives only by his cowardice. He even goes as far as to attempt suicide, throwing himself in front of the unbeknownst to him dead Tripod because he cannot bear the idea of living in a world like this. It’s extremely dark and very cynical. The BBC series goes a very different route. We see George slowly become delirious as a result of the typhoid infection he got by drinking the poisoned cup of water in the previous episode (so all that stuff about the Martian terraforming was a load of bollocks) before, realising that he is becoming a burden to Amy, deciding to make the supreme sacrifice and facing the lone Martian alone while she makes a run for it. Not only does this open up a major plot hole - who the fuck was Amy expecting to arrive from the North if George is dead? They try to dismiss this as memory suppression, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t apply to losing a loved one to a fucking alien - it also completely stands at odds with the themes of the book. When facing annihilation at the hands of a higher power, the arrogant Brits, who previously lived a life of privilege on the backs of millions of subjugated, reveal themselves for who they truly are at their core. The BBC series says yeah, we were a bunch of racist tosspots with delusions of grandeur, but we weren’t all bad. The main takeaway I got from this despicable, badly written series was a three hour pity party about how all those selfish POCs don’t consider the feelings of white people and asking why can’t we all just get along.

Peter Harness’ bastardisation of War Of The Worlds is without a doubt one of the worst adaptations I’ve ever seen. In fact it’s quite possibly one of the worst TV shows I’ve ever seen, period. It’s not just the sheer disregard for the source material that upsets me. It’s also the absolute amateurish nature of the whole fucking thing. This series fails in some of the most basic ways. His writing is truly terrible, somehow getting steadily worse and worse with each episode. It’s not just upsetting to see someone get the fundamental elements of storytelling so spectacularly wrong, it honestly makes me sick to my fucking stomach. Peter Harness, please, for your own sake and my sanity, stop fucking writing. You’re clearly not good at it and I don’t want to see my money go to someone who obviously hasn’t the faintest fucking idea what they’re doing. Enough is enough.

So it would seem that Jeff Wayne’s musical version remains the best adaptation of War Of The Worlds. In fact can we just have a movie adaptation of that please?

#the war of the worlds #hg wells #peter harness #bbc #review #spoilers

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ms-rampage · 4 years ago

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Eden’s Gate: Aftermath Chapter 5 - The Growing Family of Hunters

Warnings: Swearing.

Word count: 2.9k

This is a short follow up series to Kidnapped leading up to the nuclear holcaust, and the beginning of New Dawn.

Summary: Kate recovers from her Bliss hallucination after being forced out by her Archangel, Paige gets a new lead on Joseph, and the guys' families come by.

Guest OCs: Too many at this point. FML.

Guest Characters: Gabriel [mentioned], God/Chuck [mentioned], Sam and Dean Winchester [in flashback]. Too many FML.

**********

Flashback

One year earlier

Toledo, Ohio

"So you sure you're not mad at her anymore?" Dean asks Paige.

She sighs, "Yes Dean, I'm no longer mad at Kate".

Sam, Dean, Paige and Kate are tracking down a nest of vampires in the Ohio woods.

"Okay but from what Brent told me. You were very upset because she wanted out of this life" he tells her.

She sighs again, "Yeah, yeah I know I was, but I got over it".

10 feet behind them, Sam and Kate have their conversation on the whole "leaving the hunter life behind".

"You know I wanted to stop hunting as well" Sam tells Kate.

She looks up at her tall cousin, "Really?".

He nods, "Yeah I went off to college at Stanford. Studying to be a lawyer".

"What happened?!" she asks.

"Our dad went missing, and Dean went by my dorm. I helped him out on one hunt then that night I went back to my room" he takes a deep breath, "Then the demon that killed our mom killed my girlfriend Jess".

She looks up at him once more with sad eyes, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that" she tells him.

He exhales, "It's fine. We were able to kill him".

"What demon?" she asks.

"Azazel. Yellow eyes" he tells her.

She looks up at him again, "Azazel?. He killed our dad".

Dean and Paige look back at them.

"What happened?" Dean asks.

"Paige the demon that killed dad, what was his name?!" she asks.

"Azazel" she responds.

Kate scoffs, "What is up with that bastard killing our parents?!?"

"We're Winchesters" Dean replies, "That's what happens to us".

*******

Trying to recover from her hallucination trip. Fucking Gabriel pushed her out. Forcing her ass to wake up. Dealing with the withdrawals of the Bliss.

The sun shining in her face, making her go blind for a brief moment.

“It’s morning already?!” Kate thinks to herself.

She stares off into space, staring up at the ceiling. “What the hell Gabe?!”. She gets startled by a knock at her bedroom door, followed by the knob jiggling.

“Kate!!” Paige calls out, “We got a lead on Joseph come down and we’ll talk about it”.

She gets out of bed, and looks in the mirror.

Her eyes aren’t as white as she thought they would be.

Unlocking her door, and going downstairs with the others.

Everyone including Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table.

“Okay so now that we’re all here” Paige says, “I finally got the lead on Joseph’s whereabouts”.

“So where could he be hiding out?!?” Cody asks.

“It could be anywhere in Hope County” Marty says.

“True!!” Paige says, pointing a pointer at them like she were a teacher, “But I got an exact location, and its pretty fucking obvious”.

Waiting and already knowing of his whereabouts. They all just want to see Paige look like an idiot, or more like an idjit.

“Where is he hiding?!” Kenny asks in a smartass kind of way.

“His fucking church” she mutters angrily, “Please fucking kill me!!”.

Everyone stares at her as if she were a fucking dumbass.

“I could’ve fucking guess he was there!!!” Adrian yells.

“Well he wasn’t there before” Paige says in her defense, “He wasn’t anywhere near the statue. Or Teller Ranch which is a real location in a different part of Hope County that I didn’t even know existed!!”.

“So now what?!?” Mandy asks.

“Well we go there, we get him, and we fucking kill him” Paige answers as if it were a dumb question.

“Is killing Joseph Seed really a necessary thing?!?” she asks.

Paige glares at her mother with furrowed eyebrows, “Is that a real, serious question?!. Of fucking course killing him is necessary”.

“I mean we don’t have to kill him though. Maybe have him arrested? Maybe?” she says.

Paige scoffs, “Mom I get you were the “Mother of Eden’s Gate” for a few months, but come fucking on. This man fucking tortures, and manipulates people. Rachel is a good fucking example of that”.

“You’re not going soft for this man are you Mandy?!” Kenny asks in a calm voice.

“I feel like he needs to be protected” Mandy says, shrugging.

“Protected?!?! What the fuck?!?” Paige blurs out, “He doesn't need to be protected. If God, or Chuck wants Joseph to be protected he would’ve shown himself to him. Like he has with us in the past. Like he has with Sam and Dean”.

Barbara steps in and defends Mandy, “Paige you shouldn’t talk to your mother like that. If she says Joseph needs to be protected then he needs to be protected”.

Paige sighs, and says “Barb I know you and my mom are close. But this man, he doesn’t deserve to be protected. Not by my mom, not by my family, not by his followers, and definitely not by Chuck”.

Barbara and Paige stare at each other for a moment, then Rachel clears her throat and speaks up. Everyone looks over at her.

“Joseph, he may seem like a good person to his followers. But he’s a monster. I was afraid of him, and so was John. Jacob not so much. I’m still afraid of him. Joseph, he drugged, manipulated, and threatened me. I was only 17, he took advantage of me. He helped me find my purpose but I was still scared of him.”

Mandy speaks up, “Is that why you were always around me when I was The Mother?”

Rachel nods, “Yes because I felt safe around you. Joseph wouldn’t hurt you because you were The Mother. He wanted to keep you safe, protected and to guide us to New Eden”.

“Mom did Joseph ever try to do anything harmful to you?” Kate asks, still recovering from the Bliss trip.

“No, he didn’t try to do anything that’ll cause me harm” she says, shaking her head.

Mark clears his throat, and awkwardly says “Very bad timing, but our families are coming over to live with us. They’ll be over around 1pm”.

“Alright good, but where are they gonna stay?!?” Kate asks.

“Well my wife and kids can sleep in my room” Nate says, “Since the extra houses are still being put up”.

“My family can do the same” Mark says.

“My wife Brandi is gonna live with us as well” Cody adds.

“So is my wife” Adrian says as well.

“And my fiance as well” Martin says.

“Okay!!” Paige says loudly, “So we’re gonna have Nate, Ellen and your guys 3 kids, Mark, Dana and your guys 2 kids, Cody and Brandi, Martin and Megan, Adrian and Amanda. As well as Kenny, myself, Cristina and baby number 2. Rachel, Kate and the Seed spawn, mom, and Barb”.

She lets out an exaggerated exhale after saying the names of all the people that are gonna live with them in the one huge soon to be 3 house.

“Are we gonna ignore the fact that we’re gonna have more people living here with small children. When we have a bunch of crazy Cultist fuckers running around and trying to kill us?!?” Kenny asking the real questions.

They all exchange looks for a bit, and Paige speaks up.

“I mean Kenneth. We all hunt demons, ghosts and monsters for a living. We all have died at least 3-6 times at some point, and came back. Who wins? A bunch of human cultists? Or a bunch of demon boys with powers?”.

They all once again exchange looks. “She has a point, Kenny” Mark tells him.

They all agree with Paige’s analogy. They’ve all died several times in their lives, were brought back and continued their lives as hunters. Them being hunters is how they all met. It’s how Paige and Kenneth met. It’s quite a romantic story. How they met.

“Well, thank Chuck we’re putting up 2 more houses” Kenny chuckles.

“Speaking of that!” Adrian speaks out, “We should get going with that”.

“Agree” Cody says, getting up from his seat.

The guys all go upstairs and change into their construction gear. They spent the next several hours putting up the houses with the help of 8 Holland Valley locals.

******

1pm arrives, and the guys families, and significant others arrive.

They hug and greet each other. Catch up on life.

Introduce each other to their families.

The children go, and explore the huge 11 bedroom house.

All of them sitting at the kitchen table.

“How was the drive?” Paige asks Cody’s wife Brandi.

She groans, “Hell. Complete Hell”.

Paige laughs softly, “Sounds about right”.

“This house is huge!!!” Dana says, looking around.

“Yep, when Kenneth and I bought it last year after we got married. It had 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, the living room was 450 square feet I think. The kitchen was 450 as well, but with the dining room it’s 780 square feet. The backyard was 2 acres. After a few months we remodel the entire house. It took 7-9 months, we finished back in April of this year. We added 6 more bedrooms, 6 more bathrooms, the living room is now 690 square feet, we purchased 2 more acres of land, so we now have 4 acres of land. We have a bunker that I didn’t had until we’re half way through remodeling the house.”

“It’s huge!” Kate says, “The bunker. It has a full kitchen, a library, a medical room, I think like 10-12 rooms, 6 bathrooms. I think it was a hidden military bunker because we found a lot of Army paraphernalia, old weapons and shit. There’s beds, it’s all stocked up with canned foods, pasta, water, toilet paper and all that shit”.

“I really like the garage that leads down to the bunker” Mandy adds.

Paige says, “Oh yeah the garage we have has a secret entrance inside. That’s why we park our cars in the driveway because we often go down there. The floor lifts up and leads underground. Very Batman-like. My cousin Dean would be very jealous”.

*****

Later that evening they all sit outside, and have dinner.

Mandy, Paige and Kenny made some burgers, fries and a bunch of other meats for them, and their guests. Celebrating the freedom from 2 of the 3 Seeds. Since Faith/Rachel has a change of heart and she’s proving everyday that she has.

Kate invited Wheaty because she’s dating him, as well as all her friends Morgan, Alissa, Sarah, Ryan, Dylan, Kevin the twins Ivan and Isaiah. She really needed to get John off her damn mind and having all her friends around will help with that.

Hoping they’ll give her some comfort. Paige also invited the Rye’s, Mary May, Pastor Jerome, Grace, Sharky, Hurk Jr, Eli, Tammy, and Jess Black. Amongst others.

Kate hugs Wheaty tightly, sinking into his arms, forgetting all about John, and actually listening to Gabriel’s advice.

“I missed you” she says into his shoulder.

He chuckles, “I missed you too”, and kisses the side of her head.

Everyone has a great time, eating, talking and either getting to know each other, or catching up. Paige and Jess finally caught and set up a day for them to go hunting. Seeing her goddaughter Cristina for the first time in several months.

Kate goes the rest of the evening not thinking about John, or even having any memories of him, or his existence in her life. Doing what her Guardian Archangel told her to do and forget about him. Thinking about the good things happening in life.

The tiny human that's growing inside her, she’s with someone that makes her happy. She has her family, and friends.

"So what do you wanna do on Halloween?" Wheaty asks her.

Paige gives Kate a narrow eyed look, "Tell him" she nudges her sister's arm.

She stumbles and tells him, "To, to uh. To be 100% honest Wheat, I don't like Halloween".

He raises his eyebrows at her, "Really? I figured you would love Halloween!".

Paige looks over at her little sister, "Kate tell him why you don't like Halloween!".

She shakes her head, "Uhh no I don't want to".

"I'll tell him if you don't" she playfully threatens.

She groans, rolling her eyes, giving in to tell them "Okay fine!. One time when I was 11-12 before we were taken away from our mom. We were living in Louisiana at the time, and I was invited by one of my classmates to go to her Halloween party. She invited one of our classmates that I had a huge crush on".

"It gets better!!" Paige interrupts, telling Sharky, Jess, Eli and Wheaty.

Kate rolls her eyes, "Anyway. She had a bobbing for apples game thing, and I for some fucking reason wanted to impress that boy in my class. So I bobbed for the apples, but when I’m around someone I like, I tend to get a little queasy. When it was my turn, I went to grab an apple and I threw up in the water”.

Paige bursts into laughter, while everyone at the table looks over at Kate either trying to hold back laughter, or gasping dramatically. Wheaty puts his arm around Kate as a sign of comfort, kissing the side of her head.

“But wait!. It gets better!!’ she tells them, “Everyone saw that I threw up in the apple bucket. Some laughed, some gasp in shock. The boy that I liked saw everything, I went to run away, but I slipped, I stupidly grabbed the bucket and the water along with my vomit and the apples spilled all over me”.

Paige continues to laugh hysterically. “What happened afterwards?!?” Sharky asks.

“I ran out the house and hid in the woods behind her house until my mom came to pick me up”.

Wheaty kisses the side of her head again, comforting her.

“Ya know the same thing happened to me when I was a kid” Sharky tells her.

“Really? What did you do?” she asks.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember much from that” he tells her, and walks away to the other guests.

“Anyway, we can still do something for Halloween. It doesn’t have to be Halloween related” Wheaty tells her.

She’s hesitant about answering him. “C’mon Kate that was 10 years ago. Get over it!” Paige tells her.

“Paige that was humiliating” she tells her, “It all happened in front of a guy I liked”.

“Well what if I told you we can hang out and it won’t involve bobbing for apples or any Halloween related games” he tells his girlfriend.

“Come on Kate spend some time with your boyfriend” Morgan tells her, “Who cares if it's on Halloween”.

“Just pretend it’s another day” Sarah tells her.

She finally gives in after all her friends and sister convince her after 10 minutes “Okay we can do something for October 31st” she finally gives in and gives him an answer.

“Don’t dress as a clown” Morgan tells them, “Kate hates clowns”.

“More like is afraid of clowns” Alissa adds.

They all laugh and have a great night together. Celebrating their freedom from the Seeds with only 1 more to go. With the Winchesters around they’ll all be gone before Halloween.

Joseph’s days are numbered.

******

Later that night when all the guests leave and everyone goes to sleep, Paige and Kate are down stairs putting leftovers away. Once they're done, Paige goes upstairs to her bedroom.

“Welp I’m gonna get some shut eye” she tells her, “You coming up?”.

Kate who is distracted by her thoughts, snaps her head up to look at her sister, “Uhh yeah, yeah I’ll be up in a bit. I just need to do something first”.

Once she leaves upstairs, Kate goes to the backdoor and steps outside into the backyard out into the cool Montana night.

She walks 20 feet away from the house, far enough where the others won’t be able to hear her. Looks up into the sky, looking at the stars, moon, thick clouds covering the moon, the visible galaxies from Earth and prays.

Taking a deep breath, “Hey Gabriel” she starts, “It’s me. Ya girl”. She lets out a short laugh before continuing.

“I just. I just wanted to say” trying to keep her breath steady, “I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for getting me over John. For getting me out of Hell, protecting me from Lilith. Everything. I don’t. I don't think I ever thanked you for all that".

The night goes completely silent, the crickets go silent, “If you can show me a sign that you heard me that would be great”.

She looks around the property to see if anything changed, she looks up at the moon and sees the clouds surrounding it disperse. Moving away from the glowing rock in the sky.

She chuckles softly to herself, looking up “Is that you?”. A shooting star flies past the moon confirming that her Archangel heard her and is giving her a sign that he heard everything she said. Followed by a cool gust of wind, making her hair dance in the breeze.

Smiling up at the sky, “You heard” she mutters and goes back inside the house.

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memory-bees · 5 years ago

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Forsaken

I II Ao3

Warnings: Vomiting, Gore, Death, Body Horror A/N: Last part, hope y’all like this little story ^^

---

He had lost everything. He had lost his well being, some of his close friends, and the one man he really and truly loved. He figured there was nothing else he could do, he was forsaken to die by suffocating on the flowers currently filling the space in his lungs.

And he was happy to die like that, he felt he deserved it for not telling the other man his feelings. And because he didn’t say anything, Alden had died . Such a wonderful life just gone in the blink of an eye. He said his name so much, muttering the five letter word under his breath whenever he could.

He knew he couldn’t love anyone else, he was completely in love with a dead man. And soon enough, he’d be just like him. Alden wouldn’t want that for him, at least he didn't think he would. So he decided to have the vines that invading his lungs removed. He felt he didn’t deserve to feel love like that anyway, if he was the cause of Alden’s death, who says he wouldn’t cause someone else to die?

He made the appointment, he remembered the meeting he had had with the doctor clear as day. He had to sign a wager, that he was absolutely sure that he wanted to have them removed. He signed it without even reading the fine print. He was absolutely sure.

When he got back from the office he told his friends. They all tried to tell him not to, he’d find someone else, he could still be cured by falling in love with someone else. But he didn’t listen. He felt his only two options were to have the flowers removed or to die. He knew he couldn’t find anyone else. He loved Alden, and he felt he had failed in the worst way possible.

Death was his constant, albeit unwanted, companion. He felt it always leaning over his shoulder. He felt it brush against him when he felt like he couldn’t get enough air, he heard it laugh when he had to rest after just walking a few steps. But he knew he was going to beat it, for now, at least.

It was a week until his operation, although he didn’t know if the operation was to save his life or to save his sanity. He had fought against going to visit Alden’s grave, but he hadn’t refrained from reading that damn letter Alden had been writing when he died. It was stained in one corner, an ugly splotch of blood ruining the otherwise perfect, crisp white paper.

He was sat on his bed, hunched over the paper as he read it over and over and over again. This letter was like his one entryway into heaven and hell, and he was standing in purgatory. His chest hurt, but he couldn’t tell whether it was because of how much it hurt to read the letter, or because the flower was growing.

‘ Dear Quill,

I love you.

I love you, please don’t blame yourself for the illness. It’s not your fault, it’s mine. Please don’t hate me, and don’t let anyone tell you it’s your fault for me being sick. ’

He felt tears start to stream down his face, he wished he could reach through the paper and to the man who had written it. He loved him. He wanted to tell him that so badly. He just wanted to tell him that so they could be okay. No one would have had to die.

He sniffed and kept reading, this was his punishment.

‘ I love you, please don’t blame yourself for the illness. It’s not your fault, it’s mine. Please don’t hate me, and don’t let anyone tell you it’s your fault for me being sick. I love you unconditionally, hence the flower currently suffocating me. ’

He shook his head, tears still pouring down his cheeks as he let out a dry laugh. He found it amazing how, even when he was dying, Alden was able to make jokes like that.

‘ Just know that I love you. I love you. I love you. I l- ’

The letter cut off. He figured that was when the flower finally started to take the final shot at the elder man. He wanted to just be able to say sorry to the other man, to hold him one more time.

He sighed and grabbed his phone, he needed to distract himself. He clicked on one of his playlists and hit shuffle. When the first song started to play he nearly chucked his phone across his room. He couldn’t seem to get away from Alden.

The song was one of the dead man’s favorites, and he clung his phone to his chest and fell back against his bed sheets, more tears spilling as he listened.

‘ My lover’s got humor

She’s the giggle at a funeral

Knows everybody’s disapproval

I should’ve worshipped her sooner ’

He thought the lyrics were some sort of sick joke from whoever the hell was watching over his life. He felt something rise in his throat and he turned onto his side, coughing up the flower petals and blood. He retched on and off for a few minutes while the song played on. He laid there after he was finished.

He was a miserable sight, laying there in his own vomit, blood, and flower petals. He felt like he should get up, clean up his mess, but he also felt like he deserved to lay there in the filth. The song was finishing up as he finally started to get up.

‘ Take me to church

I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good God let me give you my life ’

It was a day until his operation. He was pacing around the park, looking at the little kids laughing and playing on the playset. He couldn’t stop thinking about Alden. He was all that occupied his mind during the last few weeks.

After a few minutes he decided to pay a visit to Alden’s grave. He hadn’t been since the service. He started to walk towards his car, then fast walk, then he ran. He couldn’t seem to get there fast enough. When he reached his car, he felt out of breath. He blamed the flowers.

He drove in silence, not even turning on the stereo. He could feel the weight of his sins slowly climbing up the back of his neck. The drive to the cemetery felt slow and like it dragged on for way too long. He was scared, to go see Alden’s grave. He felt like, as long as he ignored the fact that Alden was currently rotting away with flowers and vines in his veins instead of blood he could almost imagine he was still alive.

When he got there he slowly, almost reverently walked towards where Alden laid, in a permanent, hopefully peaceful sleep. He hoped to whatever cruel being was ruling the Universe was being kind to the boy. He knew he was scared of closed spaces, and he hated that he had to be buried in a casket.

Once he found it, he sat slowly on the green green grass that covered his sleeping beauty. He swallowed, and looked around. The fields were virtually empty, save for an old woman sat peacefully next to what he presumed to be her husband’s grave.

He didn’t know when, but he started to talk. He was only slightly aware of it, most of it sounding like gibberish to his only half there man.

“I love you, Alden. I love you so much. I-I wish I had gotten the chance to tell you sooner. I guess I just hadn’t realized it, but you w-are so beautiful.”

He gagged and hacked up a puddle of flowers and blood. He felt terror run through his body, shocking his arms and making them shake. He quickly decided to stop talking, this is how Alden died, he didn’t want them to be some sort of sad Romeo and Juliet story. He shakily grabbed his phone and clicked on a random playlist. Some instrumental song played.

He started to cry, he laid down on the grass, tears wracking his body, more and more petals and blood and vomit emptying from his lungs and stomach. He saw the old woman stand up to see what was happening, but his eyes were clouded with a horrible, blinding fear and tears.

He felt the vines start to invade his veins, the flowers sprouting out from his legs and shoulders. He felt the bundle of flowers start to cut off the last bit of oxygen. He scrambled to pull himself up, try and get to his phone, but everything was happening too quickly.

He thought he heard someone yell for him, someone staggering towards him in the distance, but he couldn’t call for them, the flower was in his mouth now, his mouth stuck.

He reached out weakly for his phone, he was so close to surviving. His hand fell just short, and his heart stopped just as the next song started.

‘ If I die young bury me satin

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Sink me in the river at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song ’

He didn’t know where he was, all he knew was that for the first time in months he felt like he could breathe again. He looked up, he was laying down on some patch of grass. He looked around until he spotted someone sitting on a little park bench. He yelled at them to get their attention, and his heart stopped when he saw who it was.

When the other man finally recognized him, he stumbled off the park bench. Alden . That wonderful, beautiful face he hadn’t seen in so long was right there, right in front of him.

He struggled to his feet, running to the other man. When they finally reached each other he pulled him into a hug. He felt Alden’s shoulders wrack with sobs, but he knew they were the happy kind. He swiftly lifted the older man off the ground, spinning him around until they both fell to the ground into a teary eyed, laughing mess.

“ Quill .” Alden whispered, oh god, he hadn’t realized how much he missed his voice.

Quill shook with excitement and hastily pressed his lips against Aldens. After a few seconds Alden pulled away, that gorgeous smile lighting up the entire field.

They both spoke at the same time, clinging to one another like the other would disappear if they let go of one another, “I missed you.”

#Writing #Original Writing #Gore Tw #Body Horror Tw #Hanahaki Tw #Vomiting Tw #Death Tw #My Writing

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samsylviasmoustache · 5 years ago

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Old and New, Borrowed and Blue

[A self indulgent sequel to If I Should Falter | Sam x Ruth | PG/T rated chapter]

Old

He opens his eyes to find the first light of January, 1988, is infiltrating the room through the curtains. It’s earlier than he’d like. He’s never been what you’d call a morning person, although months of sobriety and – yeah, alright, someone worth coming to bed at a reasonable hour for – means he’s seen rather more of them recently.

He leaves Ruth wallowing in sleep and staggers into the bathroom. Takes a piss and catches the eye of the old man in the mirror. The dawn light is soft, but it still seems to pick out every silver hair on his head. There are more than he cares to remember; going salt and pepper on top now, as well as the streaks at his temples. He’s been lazy about shaving over the holidays, his bristling stubble more than halfway to a beard. He scrubs his hand through it. Has it gotten grayer too? He sighs, shaking his head, and reaches for the razor. Almost back to just his mustache when he slips and nicks his chin. A bright red bead of blood wells up and he dabs at it with tissue paper. Fucking typical.

Ruth is awake when he returns, stretching out under the covers with a satisfied, sleepy smile. “Oh, wow,” she says, taking in his freshly shaved appearance. “I mean, I thought you were really embracing a kind of Chuck Norris look...”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

His tone is softer than his words, as he slides back into bed with her, pulling her into his arms. It’s the only way, he long ago learned, to steal back any semblance of his share. She hums her pleasure at the embrace and gives him a kiss. Her fingers trace a familiar path along his jaw, down his neck.

“Do you want to maybe talk about why you’ve woken up like a bear with a sore head?”

“No.”

“Is it my parents coming to visit?”

He screws up his face. He has no idea why she fucking does that; asks a question and then ignores his answer to give him one of her own. It’s annoying. Doubly so when she’s right. “I mean, it’s not exactly filling me with joy right now.”

“Sam—”

“Don’t, don’t fucking Sam me—”

“Well, it is your name, so—”

“Jesus Christ! I’m just nervous. Alright?”

She makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a squeak of outrage. It’s possibly a sound entirely unique to Ruth, he thinks. “I told you, they’re fine about… You know, everything...”

“Uh huh.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Because wishing doesn’t make things so, he almost says. “C’mon. You’re their only kid. I doubt this is exactly what they had in mind for your happily ever after.”

He indicates himself, a man who failed on step two of the whole live fast; die young; leave a relatively good-looking corpse thing, and it’s her turn to pull a face. “Since when did you start caring what other people think?”

“I don’t! I just—” He sighs, because there’s no way he can say it. Not without triggering a much larger fight. He doesn’t really give a damn what they think, but he’s no desire to invite disdain under his own roof, either. There’s still a short-tempered miserable fuck that twitches beneath his skin. Ruth makes that monster easier to tame, but it’s still a fundamental part of who he is. He’s not sure he trusts himself to make it through a whole weekend without slipping back into old habits. “Just let me be fucking nervous, okay?”

“Fine.”

He rolls his eyes, shaking his head. It sounds as if it’s just about anything but. “God damn it…”

“Sam?”

“What?” It comes out soft, anxious. Until she kisses him again, long and deep, his freshly shaven face in her hands.

“Happy New Year.”

“Mm.” He presses his lips to hers again. “What time did you say they’re getting here, again?”

“Two.”

“Oh. Good.”

“Good?” He rolls her over, underneath him, in reply. “Oh,” she smiles. “Alright…” He buries his face in her neck, as she arches her body against his, and for a while at least it’s a very happy New Year indeed.

Justine, as far as he’s aware, doesn’t smoke. Not cigarettes, anyway. And he’s been off them for months now. Still, it’s a convenient excuse for them to have slipped outside together, if the question is asked.

“I shouldn’t have come round.” She pulls her jacket more tightly around her shoulders, in the cool night air.

“Ah, c’mon, it’s your house too—”

“I know that, but it’s just… weird. I mean, are they going to be my… step… grand-parents? Is that even a thing?”

He almost swallows his own tongue. “I have no fucking idea.” He’s not even considered Ruth as Justine’s stepmother. The word sits on her as awkwardly as a green twinset and pearls do. “I don’t think… You don’t have to think about it in that way. Not if you don’t want to.”

She nods and he sighs, wondering how long they can string out this brief respite from carefully dull conversation. “What are the even doing in there?”

“Trying on a dress.” He keeps his eyes on the patio furniture, letting her put the pieces together.

“A dress?”

Maybe it’s not as obvious as he thinks it is. “Her grandmother’s wedding dress,” he adds, still not daring to look at her face. “It’s a fucking family tradition. Apparently.”

“Jesus Christ,” she replies. Sounding for a moment so much like him that he can’t help but huff a laugh through his nose. “They are… so fucking weird.”

“I know, I know.” He lets out a breath into the cool night air. “You know, I’ve got a question for you about all this wedding shit, while we have a moment.”

“If you’re going to ask if I’ll wear a fucking dress, I’ll—”

“Jesus. No. I don’t give a fuck what you wear. Neither does Ruth.” He clears his throat, awkward. “This is… Uh. So, traditionally I’d need, you know, a best man…”

“Right.”

He sighs and pulls himself together. “I don’t have anyone that I… You know, last time I just asked Carolyn’s brother.” He shakes his head at the memory. “And it’s not like I’m having a bachelor party or any of that shit. So, I mostly just need someone to hold the rings and – and make me feel a bit less awkward standing by myself in front of everyone.”

She’s still staring at him, completely at sea. “So…who are you going to ask?”

“You, you idiot. I’m asking you.”

It’s an interesting emotional journey, that plays out on her face. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. Seriously.”

“Oh, my God.” His heart leaps into his mouth, until she finally catches his eye and he realizes this is her way of saying yes. “This is going to be the weirdest fucking wedding.”

He shrugs. “I mean, what were you expecting? Some boring church thing?”

“Just, please tell me you’re not going to do it in a wrestling ring.”

“No, no. That’s definitely off the table…” He presses his lips together, still half afraid of the confirmation. “So, you’ll do it?”

“Yeah,” she laughs. “Yeah, I’d love to.”

And he really would kill for a cigarette right about now, he thinks. But he’ll settle for this moment of awkward solidarity with her in the twilight instead. “Right,” he says. “Good. Thanks.”

#sam x ruth #ruth x sam #fanfiction

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meanwhileinthebroomcloset · 5 years ago

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Mhm... This post was meant to be much shorter, honestly. Not to mention it got super personal, which was not my intention. It actually made me a bit teary-eyed and I’m usually an emotional constipated dumbass.

Am I ready for the potential backlash this is going to cause? Eh, probably not. Am I going to engage in the discourse this can cause? Ah, you wished. I have more to waste my energy on. I didn’t write this post to argument with anyone, anyway.

Gonna risk it, still.

-----------------------------------------

Isn’t it kind of ironic that it was witchcraft that made me fully return to Catholicism?

I mean, I kind of never left, hence the ‘’fully’’ in that sentence. But now I really know who I am. Although I don’t think Catholicism is the most accurate label (Christo-pagan, perhaps?) it’s the one I grew up with, and the one that comes more naturally to me.

Studying the beginning of it all, the commentaries of Pagans and Jewish writers at the time are just so fascinating and honestly beautiful.

Then everybody started chasing and killing each order, and it sure wasn’t fascinating anymore.... ‘’Stop being murderous revenge-driven assholes’’ I angrily mutter into my book, while frying my brains for High Middle Ages exams.

And then it split into Catholicism and Arianism (not that Arianism! The no-holy-trinity-on-my-watch one), and that was a totally different can of worms. Then Rome got pissy and the Orthodox Church officially became a thing that existed.

Man, why is religion so messy?

Faith is such a strange thing. So much power, so much potential for good and evil and everything in between. I started losing mine some years ago.

Contrary to some horror stories you may hear, especially from people who are now no longer Christian, I was raised in a pretty open environment.

‘’Don’t be mean, have faith, give second chances... Here are the commandments. They’re perfectly acceptable, see?’’

‘’Yes, there are different religions, but you should always respect them and the people that believe in them. Remember, Jesus was Jewish. Here’s some historical context... ‘’

‘’What the hell kid, nobody here is going to hell. Also, you’re five, there are no children in hell. No, the cops also won’t... Lord give me patience... Are you sorry? Did you apologize? Are you going to try to not repeat it? Great! Then it’s all fine and dandy!’’

‘‘Man, we are definitely all going to hell... At least since we’re all gonna be there, we could form a basketball team. The devil can be the referee. He will be an awful one, but hey, we’re in hell’‘

‘’I know the bible says the earth was created in seven days, but when that story was written, people didn’t know dinosaurs were a thing. Science is cool, and we are not in the middle ages. ‘’

‘’Blind faith is dangerous, kid.’’

‘’Thinking thoughts and acting upon them are two very different things.’’

‘’Yes, the second mom in that Solomon story was willing to see another kid die for the sake of an argument... sometimes people are that bad.’’

‘’God is perfect. People aren’t. That’s the world we live in and it’s okay.’’

‘’There are people who do terrible things in name of religion or say they’re doing it because the bible says so. Don’t believe them. There’s no excuse for murder and abuse.’’

‘’Yeah, Portugal is very enthusiastic when it comes to Catholicism... ’’

Pretty good summary of religion in my childhood.

Still, I found my faith waning. I didn’t really know why and I’m still a bit iffy talking about that.

‘’What did witchcraft do, then?’’

Well for once, it reinforced my ideas on how faith worked, and how strangely powerful it can be. Being skeptical is healthy but completely closing yourself off because something isn’t completely clear is too radical and you're just doing the equivalent of closing your eyes to the less brighter lights.

My god, I can hear the hardcore atheists coming...

Can I remind you there are more things in life that will not provide the proof you want, but that won’t mean they aren’t there? Relationships. Relationships are too complicated to have straight answers, a lot of the times. People hide their feelings, they fake them, express them and react to them differently. There are so many things we don’t understand or know about yet, like space and organisms that live on this Earth.

Sometimes what you need is a different approach to see they exist! It’s one of the things I learned with witchcraft.

There was also the religion itself. As I worked on my magic, I started seeing magic around me again. Not just with gods I had never considered and the one I was leaving behind, but with the faith I had always known.

The affection when someone says ‘’Our Lady’’ when talking about the Virgin Mary, my family calling upon Saint Barbara when thunder comes, children screeching excitedly because the Compasso has arrived to give us the news that Jesus has come to life again in Easter, the marble cemeteries, the comforting prayers, the masses I couldn’t ear because the local church’s echo is terrible, those boring long-ass weddings (oh my god, how many blessings do two people need?!), the loving dedication I see in every saint carved, my church's priest’s good humor... I never owned a rosary, but I always like the ones my aunts and grandparents keep.

I found Christian and Catholic witches on this site and I finally got to my conclusion. It’s really there. I just needed a different approach to it!

These things made me believe again, but also in new things.

‘‘But you can’t do that! You can’t combine magic and christianity’‘

Oh, watch me. And also watch the centuries of cunning women and witches in European history and those still alive today. The women that make ‘’mezinhas’’ and other types of favors in Portugal sure as hell are doing witchcraft, but you can bet your ass they don’t think they’re any less Catholic than anyone else. They don’t care about your opinions and I will hopefully do the same.

Relationships with deities are personal, and my relationship with God, Jesus and all of them is no different in that regard. I am a witch, I am human, I am catholic. I’m a follower, not a fucking mindless sheep.

You know what? I always compared God to Aslan. The lion wasn’t always there for Narnia, he wanted his people to solve their problems on their own. Get their independence, as a good parent does. They both don’t come up all mighty, that’s a posture reserved for evil and people who need a good slap in the face. They come to your level. God may come through one of the less eldritch abomination looking angels, though...

‘‘Well, if you have god, you shouldn’t need anything more. He's everthing. Why are you also a witch?’‘

Excuse me, do I look like a goddamned saint to you?! What part of human did you not understand?

And before you bitterly start quoting the Old Testament, let me remind you that it’s Old for a reason. Christ came to this earth to give us new rules since he technically saved us and things became different. That’s why Jewish people follow the Old Testament, for them, the messiah hasn’t arrived yet. Not to mention that to them that testament is not Old, it’s just the Torah.

You can keep quoting the bible to me all you want. But in my short twenty years of life, I was thankfully able to learn a few things. One of them is that the world isn’t black and white. Yes, I know this sounds obvious but there are some really dumb people out there. Also, this is the hellscape that we call tumblr.

Anyway, as I have mentioned several times before, I’m a never-ending knowledge seeker I found the world beneath my feet is not pure myth and I want to explore it. Look at me go.

I keep a critical mind with everything. Faith and religion are not an exception. I’m not overly skeptic about faith itself, but I am of its writings, interpretations, translations and etc... I study history, it’s a skill you naturally develop.

And there’s quite a few plot-holes, characterization differences and much more. It was written by humans that couldn’t do a cohesive collaboration even if their lives depended on it. Godphones sometimes don’t get a good reception. There’s a ton of cultural context to unpack. I hear people saying all the time that taking the bible’s words literally is one of the most stupid things you can do.

And when I say people, I mean priests, clergy, theology students, etc... I didn’t hear this from my drug dealer in the street corner..

...... I don’t have a drug dealer.....

Anyway...

There are many problems with the catholic church. There are many problems with a ton of catholic and christians out there. I will never deny that. Shit needs to get fixed and maybe even chucked into the trash.

But I still believe in God, I still believe in the saints but I also still believe there are more gods and spirits out there. And those things are separate.

I have no interest in converting you. I’m just yelling into the void.

If you are one of those that no longer is a christian, or catholic because some dipshits banged self-hate onto your head, I’m really sorry. I hope you heal well and get the help you need in your new faith or lack of it. Banging the ten commandments back onto their heads repetiedly and tell them to actually read the damn book is optional, though.

In the end, if you are (or are trying) to be good, you deserve respect and freedom to worship whoever or whatever you want. You don’t need to be perfect, you can just strive to be the best you can be in your situation.

--------------------------------------------

And now back to our schedueled programing.

#well #that was a thing #rant #christian witch #catholic witch

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

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Survey #247

“i tried to choke my mom with my umbilical cord, the doctor was too busy amputating my horns.”

Have you ever had confetti pancakes? I don't believe so. Do you obsess over your appearance? To a degree, ex. in regards to weight. Are you responsible for stuffing someone’s stocking? No. What’s your favorite romantic comedy? Ah man, idk. I like romcoms, just none are coming to mind right now. Do you stock up on make-up palettes during November? ????? no????? Have you ever taken a class online? Yes. Do you have a Neopets account? Omg I have so many piled up, I'm sure, lol. Loved that shit and kept going back. Do you make your own smoothies or juices? No. Do you think time really does heal all? No. Are you more sensitive to heat or the cold? HEAT, FUCKING CHRIST. Has anyone searched your room for anything recently? Mom helped me search for one of my mood stabilizers that the cat got out of my basket... We never found it. A new bottle. Thank god my psychiatrist just gave me a sample pack til my prescription can be refilled. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? Yes. Do you get a cold around the holidays? I rarely get sick, regardless of the season. Does it snow where you live? Rarely. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Is hair gel a turn off on guys? "Not necessarily, but too much can be." <<<< This. Do you think cursing makes people sound unintelligent? Lol fuck off. What’s something you can cook extremely well? The only thing I CAN cook is cheesy scrambled eggs but I mean they're exceptionally good lol. Have you ever been bitten by a snake? Nope. How about a spider? Possibly at some point. If you don't want kids, was there ever a time you did, and vice-versa? The only time I ever wanted kids was deep into Jason's and my relationship. It's funny because I wanted three and now I'm just all NOPE. I stopped wanting kids after him. What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? Idc. Do you ever count sheep to help you fall asleep? No. Do you have a youtube channel? If so, when did you start it? Yeah. I was on YouTube real early... don't remember the actual year, though. Do you have a secret crush right now? No. When was the last time you called customer service? I haven't. Do you take birth control pills? Not currently for mood reasons, but with my incredible fear of being raped, I kinda wanna go back. Do you like chocolate cake? Yeah man. Do you know anyone who doesn’t want to have kids? Plenty of people, myself included. Do you regret letting a certain guy or girl slip away? Ugh idk. There's no telling how awfully or well that path would've gone. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you consider yourself a good artist? Decent, anyway. Do you ever play board games anymore? Not really, I don't enjoy board games. The only time I ever really do is if Girt's over cuz that's like our "thing." Who was your first celebrity crush? Whew, Jesse McCartney. Who in your family did you get your height from? Mom. Who did you get your smile from? your hair color? your eye color? Smile, idk. Hair, also unsure. Dad was born dirty blond like me, but his hair turned black. Meanwhile I think Mom has always had brown hair, but hers is very dark/almost black. My maternal grandpa had blue eyes like me. Do you have big or small hands? Idk, normal. What was the name of your first imaginary friend you remember having? I never really had one. Do you pray to God regularly? Considering I don't believe in Him, no. What is your favorite version of the Bible to read? Even growing up religious, I sure never spent time reading various versions of the Bible. Have you been baptized? If so, how and where were you baptized? I was as a baby in a Roman Catholic church. You know, the traditional baptism with being dipped in water. Do you eat meat? Sadly. What college did you go to? and what was your major? I'm not sharing what college I go to, but my major is Art & Design. Do you miss living with a roommate? I look back on living with Jason, Jacob, and Amanda fondly most of the time, but idk if I can say I miss it. I at least don't miss my mental health. Have you ever been abused in any way? I feel incredibly thankful that I haven't... It seems like most people I know have been in some way or form. Do you like unicorns? Yeah man, they're dope. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? Idk, some year in elementary school. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Ha ha no, I've got a cat for that. He insists on being cuddled most of the time. Name 3 things you are allergic to. Just pollen and silver. Oh, I do get headaches from artificial sweeteners, but "allergic" seems like the wrong word. Is there one book you have read over and over again because it’s so good? if so, which is it? The only two books I know I've read more than once are Because of Winn-Dixie and the Meerkat Manor book. Who was your favorite Rugrats character? Uhhh I think it was just regular ole Tommy. Which fairytale resembles your life the most? Uh idk. Do you play games on your phone a lot? No. What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? Text Sara. Where do you buy most of your clothes? Wal-Mart or Hot Topic. Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. Do you have family that lives in another state? Oh yeah, we're all the hell over the place. What states have you lived in? Only NC. Do you watch birth vlogs on youtube? bitch what the fuck What is your favorite type of cake? Red velvet. Favorite arcade game? I neeeeeed to find an arcade one day that actually has the Silent Hill game. It's so rare. I'm sure I'd love it. Have you ever found a roller coaster relaxing? Uh no, but I've never been on one, nor can I even imagine one ever being relaxing. Have you ever seen a spirit? I believe I have. Have you ever been kidnapped? Yikes no. Is there a running trail near your house? Not that I'm aware of. A game you cheated on in elementary school? None that I remember? Do you wear a retainer at night? I'm SUPPOSED to, but I haven't in so long that it doesn't even fit anymore. Where is the last place you had a kiss? The airport. When was the last time you cried out of physical pain? I think it hasn't been since that infected cyst was drained in like late '16. FUCK that. Have you ever done anything to Support the Troops? No. Do you donate blood? I did once, but now I'm too nervous to because I know I don't drink enough water and don't wanna faint. Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? Ha, yeah, my sisters and I did. They were just a silly gift sometimes. What were you the last time you went trick or treating? WOW I couldn't even try to tell you, that's reaching far back. What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? The badass names lmao. Where did your mom go to high school? Somewhere in NY. What’s a subject you would never major in? Mathematics. Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? No. I'm only EVER capable of doing so with Mom, but even then I don't like it. Have you ever swam in a river? Yeah, as a kiddo. I don't think I would now. What food do you love the smell of while it’s cooking? Cinnamon rolls omfggggg. What food do you hate the smell of uncooked? Fish, I guess? Has a bee ever stung you? Yes, once. Where did you last go camping? Never been. In what month do you start Christmas shopping? I can't Christmas shop considering I don't have an income. Have you ever slept in a bed with someone with bad BO? Yes. Do you have a favorite flavor at Baskin Robbins? No. Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? HUNNY Hannah Hart is a GODDESS godDAMN What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? I'm too lazy for a garden. Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? I would definitely inform them of it being a completely valid and safest form of STD prevention, but I don't believe it should be what is "right." What's important is educating them on safe sex and to choose whom they're intimate with very carefully. I absolutely encourage them being taught what being "too young" means, too. Now what "too young" is can be argued, but let's be a late teen at least. When’s the last time you went to Chuck E. Cheese? Boy, I don't have a clue. What’s your favorite cheese or cheese flavored food? American. Cheese-flavored food is absolutely impossible to pick. Do you like black licorice? I hate licorice. Do you watch anything on the E! network? No. Have you ever tried out or thought of trying out for American Idol? Nope. Did you keep any momentos of high school dances? I had my... what's it called? The flower band on your wrist? Whatever, I had that for a long time. Do you still have clothes from your high school dances? I have both prom dresses. I'm probably gonna try to sell them this prom season though because I have absolutely no reason to keep them, and I'm poor lmao. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. Ever been to the original 13 colonies? I live in NC so like,,, Have you ever been to a concert that got out of control? Nope. Can you jump rope double dutch? I used to be able to as a kid. I loved jump rope. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? Eek... idk. Actually, I might know. I want to know, but also don't, if whether or not how I treated Jason after the breakup was abusive or not. I've asked people in my life, old therapist included, if it was from what I told them (which was honest), and the unanimous answer has been no, that I was sick/actually insane and heartbroken beyond words, but yeah. I still wonder about it. Do you have a bucket list? If so, what are the top three things? Not really, but I mean of course there's things I wanna do, top two (idk about three) being to meet Mark and visit the KMP to photograph and pet the meerkats. Do you feel you had a happy childhood? For the most part, yeah. When did you last cry in front of another person? Last week when I was having a meltdown about school. How do you feel about tattoos and piercings? Explain. I LIVE!!!!!!!! FOR THEM!!!!!!!! As someone who never felt totally comfortable in her body, one thing that has always helped me has been new tats and piercings. It's like a more permanent form of make-up, you could say. All they've ever done is make me like a part of myself. Do you wear a lot of makeup? Why/why not? I almost never do unless I want to take a "pretty" picture. Talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. JINKIES!!!!!!! UHHHHHHH man that's hard 'cuz there's a whole whoppin' load. I guess I can talk about some lyrics from Ozzy's "Life Won't Wait" that used to make me really emotional back in the dark days: "Every day that you wait, you're falling faster / no sleight of hand, no twist of fate, no ever after / when it's gone - it's gone, a fight to the bitter end." Just that whole song used to sting so much when I felt like I really was just entirely wasting my life being sad every day. Just like... a lot of Ozzy's lyrics have really resonated and stuck with me. I still have the hardest time believing the Parkinson's news. God, life's cruel. Poison a legendary singer's voice. I hope, so long he feels truly capable, this concert still happens so I can actually hear and see him one time and literally sob and okay I'm getting emotional basically I Love Ozzy Osbourne. List the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. Ha, speaking of concerts. Only seen Alice Cooper, but it was aaaaaaamazing! Outside in a (mostly light) thunderstorm playing some classic good shit. It was a fun adventure, especially having my younger sis, a full-on redneck, come along just because she was bored and came for the ride. She was so, so, SO confused and creeped out and was NOT fucking happy when he brought his python on stage as he usually does. We were absolutely drenched when it was over; the ride home, we were freezing, and changing out of those soaked clothes was like a holy experience. Who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? Jason telling me he forgives me and doesn't hate me. Do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organized/not organized? I don't, sadly. My bed is where I do like... everything, which I hate. I'd love to turn my sister's old room into like my "work" room, where I do homework, draw, etc., but I can't for a number of reasons. What is your night time routine? Go to the bathroom, take my meds, go to bed. Not very complicated. What’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? Certain places I've "done things" oops. If you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? I wanna dye my hair lilac currently. I wouldn't change the style. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? N/A What’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? Murder, to name just one. If you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? If you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? My hair is short now. What is the most important thing to you in your life right now? My mental health.

#survey #quiz #questions

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tangentmoth · 5 years ago

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You’re one of the living; who’s gonna make it tonight?

Zdravstvuyte, fellow Stalkers! Tangentmoth is back, with another installment of Scorch the Skies, a collection of loosely interconnected fics bridging Clear Sky and Shadow of Chernobyl, from the point of view of the NPCs our protagonists meet along the way. (Because someone’s got to care about the Some Gremlins of this obscure, underappreciated fandom, and it might as well be me.)

Chapter 1: Sailor Take Warning

Chapter 2: The Bad Death of General Krylov

There’re a lot of unanswered questions in between Clear Sky and Shadow of Chernobyl, and none so engrossing as the complete disappearance of the title characters of Clear Sky themselves. Which brings us to this week’s Gremlin: Nimble, the Wedge Antilles of the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. universe, and one of only two known survivors of the Clear Sky faction.

(A/N: This turned out to be a much longer fic than I expected it to be, and will thus be released in two parts.)

Chapter 3: Ishmael (Part I)

“And only I am escaped alone to tell thee…

- Moby Dick (paraphrasing the book of Job)

---------------

He doesn’t know exactly how long he’s been running. More than a day, is the best he can figure. There was darkness at one point. Now it’s light again, for a given value of “light”. It all blurs together in the storm.

Sometimes there are lulls in the storm, when the downpour lightens and the lightning stops flashing and the thunder quiets for an hour, two, three. Those are the times when he rests, when he hides among the hummocks and the reeds. The storm is his friend, right now. The thunder hides the sound of his passage as he slogs through the Swamps, the curtains of rain and wind obscure his movements, the lightning blinds the eyes of his pursuers. Mutants, mostly.

But not just mutants.

He avoids the farmsteads and the ruined villages and the tumbledown old Orthodox church, all the places that had once been theirs, or mostly theirs. He’s dead exhausted and he wants to stop, hole up in one of the old buildings and dry off and fucking sleep, but he can’t afford to take the chance. They might be waiting in one of the buildings, or all of them. Better to just keep moving. He’s got plenty of energy drinks in his pack, two Flashes in the set of lead-lined pouches at his belt, accurate maps on his PDA. He can run for days. But which way?

Not east. Definitely not east. He knows he could slip past the military outpost’s machine guns and make it to the Cordon, he’s done it half a dozen times running errands for Suslov or Kalancha, it’s how he got his nickname. He and Vasya had been running that way to begin with, until they’d stumbled on what was left of Suslov.

The circle. The heads.

Vasya had freaked out and run. Hadn’t paid attention, hadn’t noticed the way the rain was warping and spiraling around itself just ahead of him. No more Vasya.

North. North to the railroad tracks, then up through Hunter’s Woods. He could cut over to the Main Road from there…

---------------

Nimble was lost. Really, really fucking lost.

He’d gotten to the woods okay. That part had been alright, except for a couple of Snorks. Thank fuck for Vasya’s SPAS-12. Way better than his sad old sawed-off. He’d taken a couple of swipes, nothing serious, and the combat shottie had laid the Snorks out without much of a fuss. It was worth the injuries just to be away from the Great Swamps. No more slogging through the marshes, looking over his shoulder, every minute expecting those...freaks to ambush him and put his head on another pike. When I get to the Cordon, I’ll buy a bottle and toast Vasya’s memory, he’d thought. I’ll toast all of their memories. And then sleep. Sleep for a week.

Except he couldn’t find the Cordon. He couldn’t find the fucking road.

He had exited the woods to find himself in rocky, scrubby hill country littered with tangled junk and scrap metal. The Garbage, according to the maps on his PDA, which told him he was south of some old industrial complex and west of the Main Road. Good. Great. Except then he’d tried to climb a hill for a good vantage and his dosimeter started clicking so fast it was screeching. He’d panicked, tripped and gone tumbling ass-over-end down the hillside in his haste to get back down. A dumbass rookie move if there’d ever been one. The PDA was still up there on that hill somewhere With the maps.

I, Nimble had thought, lying dazed in a bush with his right sleeve shredded to the elbow, am fucked.

There was still the sun to navigate by, at least, but the Garbage was slow going overland. Terrifyingly slow. If the dosimeter wasn’t going apeshit, it was the anomaly alarm It felt like he was wasting fifteen minutes worth of nervous bolt-chucking for every fifteen meters he progressed. The hills were crawling with blind dogs and the occasional boar, and he was running perilously low on shotgun shells. Pretty soon he’d be reduced to his shitty little Makarov. He was exhausted, his injuries were hurting like hell, and he was starting to feel sick despite the Fireball he was carrying.

Worst of all, the sun was starting to set.

It went down as he skirted around a jumbled pile of what looked like construction crane parts. For a long minute Nimble just stood and watched, unmindful of the constant click of the dosimeter, until there was nothing left of the light but a faint stripe of slightly lighter blue against the junk-strewn western horizon. He was alone, in this godforsaken irradiated no-man’s-land, with no PDA to navigate with or call for help, too little ammo and no medicine. At night.

I am fucked.

------------------

“Vnimanie! Anekdot!”

Wolf grinned to himself, listening to the others tell their campfire stories. He’d never admit it, but this was one of the things he liked best about life in the Zone. Not the firefights, not the thrill of picking your way through minefields of anomalies (or sometimes just literal minefields, if you spent most of your time in the Cordon like Wolf did), not the strange and hazardous wonder of the artifacts. Just a bunch of fellow stalkers gathered together around a fire, drinking, playing music, and telling stories to ward off the night.

Tonight he was camped out at the old scrapyard with Bes, Bes’s crew, and a small gaggle of Cordon rookies. The Garbage was a radioactive, anomaly-strewn shithole he normally preferred to avoid unless he was just passing through, but his new crop of rookies were another story. The Big Blowout had blasted artifacts out of seemingly every anomaly south of Rostok, enough of them that they were just scattered over the the hills like so much shrapnel and you didn’t even need a detector to locate them. Most of them weren’t of much use (or value, for that matter), but of course the newbies all had fucking stars in their eyes and had taken off from the Cordon like a bunch of greenhorn Alaskan prospectors who just heard there was gold in them thar hills. Wolf had followed, not because he particularly wanted to but because most of these kids were going to die without a babysitter. Hideously.

“...so Pravik and me, we’re searching the bodies and we hear a ‘whoosh’, and you know what we saw? A bandit spinning in midair! Must have been trying to get the drop on us, til that whirligig got the drop on him! Stupid gopnik too drunk to throw a bolt.”

Wolf snorted, passing a bottle of vodka Bes’s way. Good stuff, too, not that Cossacks rotgut that was a hryvnia a dozen in the Zone. A working relationship with Sidorovich had its perks. And Bes was a good man and a good friend, an experienced Stalker who knew this whole area like the back of his hand.

Bes took a swig, nodded his approval, then shot a skeptical eyebrow at the storytelling rookie. “Your clothes look mighty clean for someone downwind of a bandit caught in a whirligig,” he pointed out drily.

“See, that’s the best part though! It never went off all the way, so he just stayed up there spinning around like a flying saucer! Might even still be up there for all we know!”

That got them all cracking up, Bes included, and Wolf almost missed it--would have missed it, if not for the sixth sense most veterans gained after a while in the Zone: the sound of footsteps on gravel.

“Shut up, all of you!” he barked, raising his hand in a curt ‘quiet!’ motion and hoping the rookies would take the hint. He got to his feet, rifle at the ready. Bes and his men followed suit, a bare instant behind Wolf. Good.

The footsteps grew louder as they approached, and now they could see the flicker of a headlamp coming from the western end of the old vehicle graveyard. Not a bandit, Wolf didn’t think; a bandit would have either darted behind cover or opened fire by now. A Loner, then, most likely...but why hadn’t he announced himself?

“You there!” Bes called. “Who goes there?”

The figure staggered on toward them, finally close enough for Wolf to make out in the beam of his headlamp. A skinny guy in some kind of camo fatigues--it was impossible to make out the color in this light--and what looked like a retooled military flak vest that had seen much, much better days. One sleeve was completely shredded, and there was a bloody bandage around his right thigh. His face was white, his eyes wide and starey.

“What the hell?” one of the rookies muttered.

“...don’t...don’t shoot….” the intruder croaked “Don’t shoot, please…” Then he fell to his knees, vomiting.

“Shit,” Wolf muttered, running up to the man and dropping down onto one knee next to him. Up close, he could see the guy was no older than most of his rookies, and that he was puking up mostly blood and bile. Shit, shit, shit. “Hang on, man,” he grunted.

He lugged the sick Stalker to his feet, slinging an arm around his shoulders and half-dragging, half-carrying him over to one of the bedrolls arranged around the fire. Drifter, one of the brighter rookies and the one Wolf had pegged as Most Likely to Survive a Year, held out a canteen of purified water and a medkit, but Wolf shook his head. “Get me one of the better ones out of my pack. Should be in a yellow box.” He’d traded for those from the Ecologists up at Lake Yantar, and they were worth every ruble. “And the pack of antirad syrettes.”

“Waste of meds,” one of Bes’s men grumbled as Drifter tossed him the packages. “Better to put him out of his misery now.”

“When I want your opinion I’ll ask for it,” Wolf snarled back. The sick Stalker was retching again, groaning. Wolf ripped the wrapper off of a pre-loaded antirad syringe, bit the cap off, and jammed the needle into the Stalker’s hip. The kid yelped, and Wolf figured that for a good sign. He followed the antirads with a dose of morphine out of the scientists’ medkit, then squatted back on his heels to get a better look while the meds kicked in and the young Stalker got his breath back.

In the firelight, at close inspection, the Stalker looked like 500km of bad road run hard. There was definitely bullet damage to the vest, which probably meant bruised or broken ribs underneath. The wound on the right thigh looked like claw slashes from an mutant attack, and the shredded sleeve revealed what was either a badly infected scrape or a nasty beta burn all the way up his forearm--probably both, considering the dirt here. There wasn’t much left of the man’s pack but the straps, but he was very obviously carrying three or four artifacts in the pouches on his utility belt--one of them a Fireball, judging from the heat Wolf could feel radiating even through the lead lining. A savvy choice that had probably saved the man’s life here, where you could eat 200 rem just picking the wrong path to walk down.

He set about stripping off the vest and cutting off the old bandages so he could get at the unfortunate Stalker’s injuries, talking to him while he did so in the hopes of keeping him conscious. “Lucky you didn’t get shot for a bandit, wandering in here in the middle of the night like that,” he chided. “Fuck, you’re lucky you didn’t get shot by a bandit out here. Garbage is crawling with the scum. You got a name, friend?”

“...Nimble,” the Stalker managed, voice slurred and gravelly from the vomiting and the drugs. “...was trying to find the Cordon...come up through the Woods, then down the road...thought...I was safe…but I got lost…lost my PDA, dogs got my pack...thought I was dead, til I saw your fire.”

The Stalker’s clothes were filthy, caked in mud and blood, but there was a patch on his shoulder that caught Wolf’s eye--not the usual black-on-yellow radiation symbol that most Loners wore, though. Two birds flying over the rising sun, on a sky-blue field. The writing underneath was half-obscured by mud, but Wolf could read it just the same. Chistoye Nebo.

Clear Sky.

Wolf glanced up at Bes, beckoning him over. “You came up from the Great Swamps?”

Nimble nodded weakly, eyes glassy. Bes looked him over, eyes narrowing with suspicion “Nobody in the Great Swamps but bandits. Call themselves Renegades, like they’re a legitimate faction.” He spat to the side.

Nimble shook his head, crying out as Wolf poured antiseptic solution over the inflamed claw slashes in his thigh. “Not me...not us. We were down there too. Clear Sky. Nobody...ah fuck!....nobody knew...just a few people, the trader at the Cordon, a doctor up in Yantar….”

“He’s telling the truth,” Wolf said “I’ve seen his folks at the village. They come in to trade with Sidorovich every now and again, if they manage to make it past the military outpost. Some kind of armed science unit, eggheads with guns. What the hell are you doing up here in the Garbage, kid, all by yourself? This is a bad, bad place to be lost.”

“...came up through the woods...” Nimble slurred. The drugs were really hitting hard now; he could barely string words together. “...nobody left down there…..just me...Vasya fell in an anomaly and died….they got everyone else, but I outran them….”

Wolf frowned at that. “They? The bandits, the Renegades or whatever?”

Nimble’s eyes slowly closed. “...not bandits...don’t know who they were….came after the blowout, in the night….burned our place, killed everyone...I saw Trodnik, he was with them, but he wasn’t..he wasn’t him....they killed everyone…” He trailed off, head lolling to the side.

Wolf finished re-bandaging the young Stalker’s injuries and sat back, still frowning. He looked over at Bes. “That make any sense to you?”

Bes shrugged. “Kid’s rad-sick and doped to the gills. Who knows what the hell he’s talking about. What are you going to do with him?”

“Take him back to the village, if he makes it through the night.” And Wolf thought he would make it through the night. Young and skinny as he was, he was clearly tougher than he looked--tough enough and smart enough to have evaded whatever had befallen his comrades down in the Swamps, to have survived wandering the woods and the Garbage for what must have been days. Wolf knew experienced stalkers who might not have made it. He admired Nimble for it. But he was unsettled by the kid’s story, filtered through delirium though it was.

I saw Trodnik, he was with them, but he wasn’t...he wasn’t him…

He knew Ivan Trodnik. He was a Guide, a rare, valuable, and dangerous trade here in the Zone, and he was good at his job. He’d worked the routes from Cordon all the way up through Rostok and beyond, before moving south to map the Great Swamps. Wolf had last seen him maybe two or three weeks ago, dressed in blue-and-white fatigues and good armor with the same Clear Sky patch on his shoulder, escorting a big Merc to see Sidorovich. Clearly he’d joined these people at some point. Had he betrayed them? To who? What had Nimble meant by “he wasn’t him”, or had that just been the delirium talking? It was bothering him.

Something bad had happened to the Clear Sky faction, that was certain, and Wolf wanted to know what the hell it was. The Great Swamps weren’t far from the Cordon and the rookie village. If there was a chance of trouble moving north toward them, Wolf wanted to be ready for it.

They came in the night...they killed everyone...

He stayed awake, smoking, listening to the groans and shrieks of the Zone and the survivor’s ragged, labored breathing, for the rest of the night.

#Fanfic #S.T.A.L.K.E.R.#S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky #S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl #TW: Emetophobia #TW: Needles #Nimble #Wolf #Bes

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