#there really is no way to explain all of this without sounding crazy

[sleepingdiaryzzz]

yandere!young justice x magician and sorcerer!reader

BUUUUUUUUUT,the readed is a part of the team,however,shows no interest in them,and it just there because she kinda just has to,and no matter how much they try to get her attention,she never gives them any of it.

(I love your writing btw😼)

Yandere! Young Justice x magician! Reader

The Cave was quiet, as it always was at night, the hum of machines and distant murmurs of the world outside barely touching the stillness that clung to the mountain like a second skin. In this isolated hollow, surrounded by the cool stone walls, you could hear your own thoughts—the whisper of spells, the pulse of magic, the unspoken words you chose not to say.

You never had to explain yourself here, never had to wear the mask of pleasantries or pretend you cared about anything more than the mission. The others, they didn’t understand. They couldn’t, not really. You weren’t like them, never had been. You didn’t need the comfort of their companionship. You didn’t want their attention, their curiosity, or their pity.

And yet, they tried.

Conner was always watching. A silent presence, brooding and intense, always lingering in the background, his eyes following your every movement. He never asked questions—no, that wasn’t his style. Instead, he observed, the way a predator watches its prey, calculating, waiting. He never made an effort to speak, not in the way Wally did with his incessant jokes or M'gann with her quiet warmth. Conner was patient, cold, waiting for something to crack, for something to change.

His silence was a constant reminder. He didn’t need to speak; you could feel his presence, the weight of his gaze pressing down on you, always at the edge of your vision, always waiting.

It was unsettling, but you never let it show.

Wally was a different story altogether. His energy was like a crackling fire, unpredictable, always bouncing from one thing to the next. He couldn’t sit still, couldn’t leave you be. "Come on," he would say, leaning over your shoulder as you worked on a spell, his grin wide and carefree. "Show me something cool. You know you’ve got some crazy magic tricks up your sleeve."

His insistence was always accompanied by that grin of his, mischievous and bright, as though his charm could draw you out of your shell. But you never did. You never gave him the satisfaction of seeing you smile, never let him see you as more than just another teammate. It wasn’t his fault—he was just trying to make the team feel more like a family. But you didn’t care about family. You didn’t care about any of them.

“I’m busy,” you’d say, dismissing him with a flick of your hand, returning to your spell. And Wally, ever the optimist, would laugh and zip away, the sound of his footsteps echoing as he left you to your silence.

But it wasn’t enough for him, no. His persistence was a thing of legend. Sometimes you’d catch him watching you, his gaze fixed, a question burning in his eyes. "Why are you always like this?" he seemed to ask with every look. But he never voiced it. Instead, he’d turn away, hoping that somehow, eventually, you’d change your mind.

Then there was Robin. The dark and silent watcher. He knew how to stay in the shadows, how to be everywhere without being seen. His presence was like the night itself—always there, always watching, never truly gone. Robin was the most subtle of them all. He never asked outright; instead, he would drop little comments, observations that always felt like a puzzle, like he was trying to figure you out, piece by piece.

"You know, you could talk to us more," he’d say, casually leaning against the wall as he watched you work. His tone was light, almost playful, but you could sense the undercurrent of something more—something deeper. “We don’t bite, you know.”

You didn’t respond. Of course, you didn’t. The only response he got was the steady flick of your fingers over the spellbook, the quiet hum of magic filling the space between you. He didn’t try to get too close, not like Wally or M'gann, but his eyes never stopped tracking you, always measuring, always calculating. Robin was patient, the kind of person who knew that some things took time, that some people had walls that needed to be broken down slowly.

And you? You weren’t going to let him.

M'gann was the opposite. Her presence was always warm, soft, inviting. She would sit beside you, her legs tucked under her, her eyes wide with curiosity. "You know," she would say with that gentle voice of hers, "I could help you with your spells. I can be a good study partner, if you ever need one."

Her kindness wasn’t forced, never had been. It was natural for her, as natural as breathing. She wasn’t like the others who were driven by some sense of duty or curiosity. No, M'gann’s attention was genuine, a quiet offer of companionship. She was the one who tried to reach you without asking, without expecting anything in return.

But you didn’t need help. You didn’t need her to reach you. And so, you’d quietly decline, giving her nothing more than a polite smile before returning to the words in your book, the pages filled with symbols that had no need for her warmth.

And then there was Artemis. The sharp, straightforward one. She didn’t waste time on subtlety. Her approach was always direct, blunt, like a sharp blade that never hesitated. "You don’t have to be so closed off, you know," she’d say, her voice a mix of irritation and something else. It was hard to tell with Artemis—her eyes were always guarded, her emotions always hidden behind a wall of indifference. "We’re all in this together."

She had a point, of course. But you didn’t care. You didn’t care about being “in it together.” You had your own path to follow, and they weren’t a part of it. You didn’t need to explain that to her, or to anyone. So, you’d give her a nod, a brief acknowledgment that wasn’t really an acknowledgment, and move on with your work.

Kaldur was the calm one, the quiet one. His respect for you was obvious, but it never crossed the line into anything more. He would offer you a nod as he passed, his gaze soft, his presence steady like the water he controlled. He didn’t push you the way the others did. He didn’t try to break down your walls. He simply respected them, kept his distance, and allowed you to be as you were.

But even Kaldur had moments when his gaze would linger on you, just a second too long, like he was waiting for you to finally open up, to let him see more than the cold silence you kept locked behind your eyes.

It wasn’t much, but it was enough. Enough for you to feel the weight of their gaze, the quiet pressure of their attention. They thought they understood you. They thought that if they just tried enough, kept reaching out, eventually, you’d let them in.

But you wouldn’t.

In the midst of their attempts, you kept your distance, always lost in the pages of your spells, your incantations, the quiet hum of power that thrummed beneath your fingertips. They were drawn to you, like moths to a flame, their fascination burning just beneath the surface of their words, their glances, their actions.

But you would remain untouched. You would keep your secrets locked away, your magic a barrier between you and the world they wanted to draw you into.

They didn’t understand it, not really. They couldn’t. You were not like them. You didn’t need what they offered. You didn’t need to be a part of their team, their family, their world. You were the silent watcher, the one who kept their distance while they reached out, always hoping that something would change.

But it wouldn’t.

You weren’t there for them. You were there because you had a purpose, one that had nothing to do with them, nothing to do with the team, and nothing to do with any of their quiet, unspoken obsessions. You would remain distant, and they would keep trying, never understanding why you remained so cold, so unreachable.

And that, for now, was enough.

(A/n: thank you kind fellow fur🤭😽)

[foreverisntenough]

‘Movie Night’

Summary: If only life was like the movies. For years, you’d flirted with the idea of something more with Trent, your brother’s best friend.  You'd always danced around the edges of something more with him, sharing flirty moments that felt like scenes straight from the cinema. You had been silently desperate for the main character of your life’s film to finally get the boy but you knew moments like that were saved for Hollywood. The lines were clear; you were always going to be his mate’s little sister. So what happens when you go off script? In a whirlwind of passion, secrets, and stolen moments, you're left wondering: will you and your brother's best friend get the happy ending you've been waiting for, or was it never meant to be more than a fantasy? 

Index:

Warnings: This series is 18+ MDNI [ smut, slight mention of dv, loss of a parent, drinking - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series!

Disclaimer: No one is crazy about him atm, me included, so this is strictly for my readers and my readers only. I don’t condone his behavior at all -Just let me finish out this fic please. Don’t come for me. I’m only a girl with a google doc whose spent hours upon hours and days on end on this fic

Chapter 10 - So Different | ‘Movie Night'

word count - 11.4k

Trent laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind a storm he couldn’t quiet. His phone buzzed on the nightstand, the sound jolting him momentarily out of his haze. Jack’s name lit up the screen, but Trent didn’t move to answer it. He couldn’t. The guilt was suffocating. Every time Jack called, every time Trent saw his name flash across his phone, it felt like a knife twisting deeper into his chest. He couldn’t face him. Couldn’t lie to him. Couldn’t explain to his best friend that the reason he’d been distant wasn’t some random funk but the unbearable heartbreak of losing you. You weren’t just Jack’s sister. He was coming to realize, you were his person, his peace, the one he went to when everything else felt like too much. And now, you were gone, and Trent didn’t know how to function without you. Since that night, he’d gone completely off the grid. He showed up for training, went through the motions, and then went straight home. He couldn’t bring himself to see anyone, to pretend he was okay when he wasn’t. His chest ached constantly, a dull, throbbing pain that he didn’t know how to soothe. He thought about you constantly. The way you’d cried, the way your voice broke. The look in your eyes. It haunted him. He replayed it over and over, trying to figure out where it all went wrong. Was it the secrecy? The guilt? The fear of what Jack and the others would think?

You hadn’t said, ‘Why don’t we just tell them?’ And so, he hadn’t. He’d been too afraid, too consumed by the what-ifs. But now, lying there in the quiet of his room, he wondered if things could have been different if he’d just had the courage to say, I love her. I don’t care what anyone thinks. His phone buzzed again, and he turned his head to look at it. Jack was calling again, and for a fleeting moment, Trent considered answering. But what would he say? How could he explain that he was grieving the loss of you, the girl he was never supposed to fall for but couldn’t help loving? He turned his face into the pillow, the tears coming unbidden. He missed you so much it hurt. He missed your laugh, your smile, the way you made him feel like the best version of himself. He missed the way you fit perfectly in his arms, the way your lips felt against his. He missed you. But he couldn’t have you. He’d made his choice that night, torn between his desire to console you, to pull you into his arms and make you stop crying, and the guilt and fear of Jack finding out. He’d walked away, and now, he was paying the price. Trent closed his eyes, his chest tightening with the weight of it all. He felt like he was losing both of you—you and Jack. He couldn’t talk to his best friend about it, couldn’t tell him the truth, couldn’t even pick up the phone. He was trapped in his own guilt and heartbreak, unable to see a way out. Day in and day out, he lay there, caught in a trance, replaying every moment, every word, every touch. He didn’t know how to move forward without you, didn’t know if he even wanted to. All he knew was that he’d never felt this way before, and he wasn’t sure if he ever would again.

You weren’t fairing all that well yourself. You curled up on your bed, muffling your sobs into the pillow, hoping the sound wouldn’t carry through the walls. But Jack had already noticed. He’d been noticing for days—the way you avoided him, the lack of your usual energy, the way your eyes always looked on the verge of tears. Jack wasn’t one to pry, but this time, he couldn’t stay silent. You heard the knock at your door, a quiet but firm tap, tap, tap.

“Y/N?” Jack’s voice was soft, cautious. “Can I come in?” You froze, wiping your face quickly, though you knew it was pointless.

“Yeah,” you croaked, your voice betraying you. The door creaked open, and Jack stepped inside. His expression shifted instantly when he saw you, eyes red and swollen, clutching your pillow like a lifeline. He didn’t say anything at first, just stood there, taking it in.

“Come here, what’s gotten into you?” he asked finally, his voice gentle as he opened his arms. You hesitated, guilt twisting in your stomach, but the look on his face broke you. Slowly, you got up and walked into his embrace. The moment his arms wrapped around you, the tears came again, harder this time, like a dam breaking.Jack held you tightly, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other rubbing slow circles on your back. “Hey, you’re okay,” he murmured. “Just breathe for me, yeah?” You tried to, but the sobs kept coming. After a long moment, Jack pulled back slightly, his hands resting on your shoulders as he searched your face. “What’s going on, Y/N? Talk to me. Who’s got ya like this? Is fucking Josh again?” The question hit you like a truck. Who. Not what. He already knew this wasn’t about work or anything trivial. He knew it was someone. You shook your head, pulling away from his touch, your arms wrapping around yourself protectively. 

“It’s nothing,” you mumbled. “I’m fine. Really.” Jack’s brows furrowed, his concern deepening. 

“Y/N, don’t do that. Don’t shut me out. I’m your brother. Just… tell me who it is, and I’ll sort them out.” He cooed with a sympathetic smik. You laughed weakly through the tears, the irony of his words hitting you. If only he knew.

“I can’t,” you whispered, your voice breaking. Jack stepped closer, his hands gentle on your arms. 

“Why not? You know I’d do anything for you, right? Just tell me, and we’ll fix it together.” You shook your head more forcefully this time, the guilt washing over you in waves. You couldn’t. You couldn’t tell him. Not when it was Trent. Not when it was his best friend. Not when it would ruin everything. Not when you had betrayed him. 

“I just can’t, Jack,” you said once over, your voice cracking as fresh tears streamed down your face. “I’ve already lost so much over this. You’ll be mad and I can’t lose you too.” Jack’s face softened, but he still looked confused, like he was trying to piece together a puzzle without all the pieces. 

“Y/N, you’re not gonna lose me,” he said firmly. “You can tell me anything, you know that.” But you couldn’t. You couldn’t risk it. Jack was all you had left, and if he knew the truth, you weren’t sure you’d survive the fallout.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, stepping back toward the bed. “I just… I need to figure this out on my own.” Jack looked like he wanted to argue, but he didn’t. Instead, he sighed and nodded, his hands falling to his sides. 

“Okay,” he said reluctantly. “But if you change your mind, I’m here, alright? Always.” You nodded, biting your lip to keep from breaking down again. When he finally left the room, closing the door behind him, the silence felt deafening. You sank back onto the bed, your heart heavy with the weight of everything unsaid. You made a decision then. You couldn’t keep doing this—to yourself, to Trent, to Jack. The guilt was eating you alive, and the secrecy was tearing everything apart. It was time to end it. For good.

The week of silence was unbearable. Days stretched into nights, with every moment consumed by guilt, longing, and the reality of what you had both built under Jack’s unsuspecting gaze. For so long, you’d tried to ignore the weight of it all, but now the cracks were too wide, the guilt too heavy. You couldn’t breathe. When you finally stood on Trent’s doorstep, your heart was pounding so loud you were sure he could hear it. You hadn’t texted or called; you’d just shown up, your emotions too raw for words. Trent opened the door, his brows furrowing in surprise when he saw you standing there. His hair was still damp from a shower, his face soft and unguarded. 

“Y/N?” he said, his voice laced with concern. “What are you—”

“We can’t do it anymore,” you interrupted, your voice trembling, already on the verge of tears. “I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.” The words hit him like a blow to the chest. For a moment, he didn’t move, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

“Just..” He couldn’t even talk before he instinctively reached for you, pulling you into his arms. You collapsed against him, the weight of your words crashing down as sobs racked your body. His strong arms held you tightly, his hand cradling the back of your head as if he could shield you from the pain you were feeling. “Don’t say that,” he murmured into your hair, his voice breaking. “Please, don’t say that.” But you couldn’t stop. 

“I can’t keep lying to Jack,” you whispered against his chest, your tears soaking through his shirt. “I can’t keep lying to myself. This… this isn’t right, T. It’s not right.” Desperation flickered in his eyes as he cupped your face, his thumbs brushing away your tears. 

“I know,” he admitted softly, his voice filled with sorrow. “I know it’s not fair to you. Or to him. But…” He trailed off, his words faltering under the weight of his emotions. The silence between you was heavy, the tension palpable. And then, as if drawn together by some unseen force, his lips found yours. The kiss was desperate, full of unspoken words and heartbreak. You clung to him like he was the only thing keeping you grounded, your fingers tangling in his hair as you poured everything you couldn’t say into that moment. Before you knew it, the two of you were in his room, tangled in his sheets, your bodies pressed together as if trying to erase the distance that had grown between you. It wasn’t just physical—it was emotional, a last-ditch effort to hold onto something slipping away. When it was over, the silence returned, heavier than before. You lay in his arms, your cheek pressed against his chest as his fingers traced lazy patterns on your back. He pressed a kiss to your hair, a soft hum escaping him. The tenderness in that simple gesture broke something inside you. You sniffled, tears slipping down your cheeks once more. 

“This has to be it,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “Okay?” You whimpered.

“Okay,” he replied, his voice low and full of sadness. He tightened his hold on you, his lips brushing against your temple. “But Y/N… can you just stay though? Just for tonight?”  He meekly asked you, his tone desperate. Your breath hitched as his words hit you. 

“Trent…” You cautioned him already struggling to will your body away from his.

“I didn’t know it’d be our last night,” he continued, his voice trembling. “And I just… I just want to remember it right.” You nodded silently, your tears soaking into his skin. You didn’t have the strength to say no, not when he held you like that, not when you could feel his heart breaking beneath your hand.

“This isn’t right,” you whimpered, your voice barely audible. But Trent didn’t respond. He couldn’t. All he could do was hold you tighter, his silence speaking volumes. The two of you stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, the weight of goodbye hanging heavy in the air. You knew this was the end, but for now, in this fleeting moment, you allowed yourselves to pretend that it wasn’t.

The morning was heavy with unspoken words as you pulled your clothes on, trying to keep your composure. The air between you and Trent was thick, weighted with everything that had gone wrong and everything that still felt so heartbreakingly right. As you made your way toward the door, Trent followed, his steps slow and hesitant, like he was trying to draw out the moment. 

“Y/N, Stay,” he said quietly, his voice cracking just enough to break your resolve. “We can figure this out. Please.” You paused, your hand resting on the doorknob, your back turned to him. Tears threatened to spill again, but you fought to keep them at bay. You didn’t want to cry anymore. You didn’t want to feel this ache that had embedded itself so deeply into your chest.

“Please don’t make this harder,” you whispered, your voice trembling as you turned to face him. The look on his face nearly destroyed you—his eyes filled with a mix of desperation and heartbreak, his hands hanging helplessly at his sides.

“I’m not trying to make it harder,” he said, taking a step closer. “I just—this, us—it means something to me. You mean something to me. I can’t…” His voice faltered, and he exhaled sharply, trying to steady himself. “I can’t let you go like this.” You shook your head, a small, sad smile tugging at the corners of your lips. 

“You’re saying that because we’re behind closed doors, T… but that’s not the problem.” He shut his eyes, his jaw tightening as if the words physically hurt him. You knew he wanted to say something, to fight back, to convince you that it didn’t matter where you were, as long as you were together. But deep down, he knew you were right. As you reached for your bag, something poked you in the side, reminding you of what you’d brought with you. A lump formed in your throat as you pulled it out, the tattered book of poems looking smaller in your hands than it had when you first tucked it away.

“I forgot…” you started, your voice barely audible. “I want you to have this.” You extended the book toward him, and he hesitated for a moment before taking it from you, his fingers brushing against yours. The touch sent a jolt through your body, one final reminder of what you were about to lose. “I’m sorry for what I said the other night,” you said, your voice breaking as fresh tears began to blur your vision. “You are the furthest thing from nothing to me. You are everything, in fact. You are it all, T.” His hands shook slightly as he took the book. 

“Please don’t do this,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. When he looked up at you, his eyes were filled with a pain so raw it made your chest tighten. “Don’t go. I’m begging you.” You couldn’t stop the tears now, and they fell freely as you took a step back, creating the distance you knew you needed to survive this. 

“I have to,” you choked out. His hand clenched around the book, holding it close to his chest like it was the only piece of you he’d have left.  Trent’s fingers trembled as he turned the fragile pages of the book, the faint scent of aged paper filling the air. It didn’t take long until he started to notice the black ink penned in a handwriting he’d only seen a number of times in birthday cards. His head was almost hurting because he couldn’t place it. It wasn’t yours. His eyes scanned the handwritten notes in the margins, each word was a delicate imprint of your mum’s love and care, left behind like breadcrumbs leading back to her. The book flopped open on it’s own by its worn seam to a page you’d pressed the flower he’d given you the other week. His heart hurt more than his head at that moment. And then he saw it—why you’d marked the page - a line your mum had circled and underlined, her handwriting curling beside it with a note that seemed to reach through time:

'Even though we never said it to each other - We knew'

'Always reminds me of you and TAA—tell him one day, okay?'

His breath caught, his chest tightening as though the air had been stolen from the room. His grip on the book wavered, his fingers brushing against the daisy you had carefully pressed between the pages, a small but profound reminder of the park, of the simple, unguarded moments you shared. The lump in his throat was unbearable as he felt the weight of everything—the love, the grief, the guilt—all crashing down at once. 

“I know this didn’t work, but…” You stood there, knowing he’d read it, barely holding it together, your voice breaking as you forced yourself to speak. 

“Stop,” Trent cut you off, his voice shaky but insistent, the emotion barely contained. His movements were deliberate as he placed the book down on the counter, as if it were sacred. Then, with no hesitation, he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly, like letting go would shatter him completely. “We’re not doing this,” he murmured against your hair, his voice breaking. “We’re not nothing. I know we’re not. You know we’re not… She knew we weren’t. Y/N please.” The conviction in his words only made the ache in your chest swell. You buried your face in his chest, tears spilling freely now, soaking into his shirt. 

“I’m so scared, Trent,” you whispered, your voice trembling. You felt like in a way you’d disappoint your mum in giving up this but it was terrifying to love him. He was no longer a school boy, he was larger than life. “I’m so scared I’m just the girl of the season to you. That I’ll lose you, Jack, everyone. I can’t do this again. I can’t…” You confessed amidst your tears. He pressed his lips to the top of your head, his hands cupping the back of your neck as he pulled you even closer. 

“You’re not,” he whispered fiercely, the words shaking with emotion. “You’re not the girl of the season. You’ve been the girl of every season. My only season. You’ve been every single one.” His words cracked something deep inside you, but they didn’t erase the fear. You pulled back slightly, just enough to meet his eyes, your tears making the world blur around you. 

“I don’t know how to do this,” you admitted, your voice breaking on every syllable.  “I don’t know how to keep everyone happy and not lose you at the same time. I feel like I’m losing everything.” His hands came to rest on either side of your face, his thumbs brushing away your tears as his forehead gently touched yours. His voice softened, but it carried an unshakable strength. 

“We’ll figure it out,” he said, his words wrapping around you like a lifeline. “We don’t have to have all the answers now. Just stay with me, baby. We can sort this.” Tears streamed down your cheeks as you shook your head, the weight of the situation suffocating you. 

“This isn’t right,” you whimpered, your voice breaking under the weight of your emotions. “None of this is right.”

“Stay,” he begged softly, his voice raw and unguarded. “Please don’t leave me like this.” You sobbed into his chest, clinging to him like he was the only thing anchoring you in the storm of your emotions. His grip on you tightened, his own tears threatening to spill as he pressed a desperate kiss to your hair. You nodded through your sobs, too broken to speak, your hands clutching at him like he was your last tether to hope. But even as you let yourself sink into the safety of his arms, the doubts lingered, the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on both of you. The unsaid love was there, undeniable and unrelenting, but so was the pain, and neither of you knew how to make it stop. Trent looked at the book carefully, his fingers trembling as he reached towards it with one hand. a centimeter of the daisy still delicately pressed inside sticking out. His eyes lingered on it for a moment before turning to you, his gaze steady despite the rawness between you both. “Keep this,” he said, his voice soft but resolute as he picked it up. “She left more in there than an annotation about me.” He smiled sympathetically at you. He’d glanced at the pages before his name appeared, and although it was brief he understood your mum purposefully left this book for you. It was a way for her to communicate with you, to support you through situations you might face after she was gone. “You keep all the other stuff. I don’t need any more if I know she was on board because I’m not going anywhere… that’s all I needed to know.” His certainty was like a balm against the ache in your chest, but the weight of everything still loomed heavy in your mind. You shook your head slightly, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“But if this doesn’t work… T, I can’t” you started, the fear in your words palpable. Trent stepped closer, his hand reaching out to cradle your face. His thumb brushed against your cheek, catching a stray tear. 

“Then I’ll still be here,” he told you firmly, his voice tinged with quiet determination. “I just told you. I'm not leaving.” His words wrapped around your heart, pulling at every fragile piece of you. 

“But how can you be so sure?” you whispered, your voice breaking as you searched his eyes for answers. “I didn’t mean for this to be a guilt trip. I just wanted you to know…” You babbled as your tears ran down your cheeks. He leaned in, pressing his forehead to yours, his voice steady and calm. 

“It’s not… And… I know… because you’re it for me. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. We’ll try, yeah?” You nodded sheepishly, your heart warring with your fears, but his certainty felt like a light in the darkness. “Gonna give it a try, hmm?” he asked softly, his lips ghosting over your forehead in a tender kiss. This time, your nod was more sure, a small smile breaking through the tears. 

“Okay,” you murmured. And in that moment, with the weight of the book in his hands and the promise hanging between you, it felt like maybe, just maybe, there was a way forward.

The next morning, the doorbell rang, pulling you out of your thoughts. Jack had already left for work, leaving you to shuffle to the door, still in your pajamas. You opened it to find not one but four massive flower arrangements towering in front of you. You blinked, confused, as the delivery man smiled politely and gestured for you to sign.

“Someone really likes you,” he remarked, handing you a small card after you’d awkwardly squeezed the arrangements inside. The arrangements were stunning—each one so different. One was a soft white and cream, delicate and elegant. Another burned bright with orangey-red hues, vibrant and warm. The third was lush with deep greens, earthy and grounding, and the last shimmered in an unexpected blue, rare and calming. You stood there for a moment, staring at the kaleidoscope of colors, trying to piece it together. Then you opened the card.

'To the girl I’ve let wait too many seasons—will you please let me take you out for a proper date?'

You laughed through your tears, the emotions of the past weeks bubbling over at once. The note continued, listing specific details about when and where he wanted to meet you, but you could barely read through the happy blur in your eyes. It was so him, so thoughtful, and yet so immediate—like he couldn’t stand another second without making his words from the night before a reality. The concept of girl of the season really was about his football season but the fact that flowers went beyond that. It was one for each season of the year; spring, summer, autumn, and winter. All there to signify, you were more than just a football season to him and he wanted you to know that. You held the card to your chest, tears still slipping down your cheeks as giggles broke through. He had acted quickly, proving he meant every word, every promise. Trent was asking, not waiting. Not hiding. This time, he was yours, out loud, in full color. And all you could think was… finally.

When Trent typed your address into his phone to send the delivery, his chest tightened with a familiar pang of guilt. It wasn’t just your address—it was Jack’s too. That nagging feeling of betrayal washed over him as his thumb hovered above the screen, memories from years ago creeping back unbidden. He could still hear Jack’s voice, clear as day, as if it were happening all over again. They were in Jack’s room, sprawled out after school, the usual banter bouncing around the group. A newer guy to their circle, loud and brash, had just moved to town and had made an offhand remark about you after seeing a picture on Jack’s phone.

“Is this your sister, mate? Fuck off! She’s well fit,” the guy had said, smirking. It wasn’t even a serious comment, but Jack’s reaction was immediate and sharp.

“Oi, Off-limits,” Jack had snapped, his tone firm and brooking no argument. He glanced around the room then, making sure everyone understood. “If that wasn’t already clear, no one moves to Y/N.” There was a beat of awkward silence before Noah, always the one to push a joke too far, broke it. 

“Come on, mate! What if she likes us? Girls move to me! What if she moves to me, huh?” He teased. Jack didn’t even crack a smile. 

“Nah. If she has feelings for ya, too bad.” Trent had sat quietly on the edge of the bed, his face carefully neutral, but the way Jack’s eyes flickered toward him didn’t go unnoticed. It was subtle, just a moment, but it lingered. Jack’s expression softened briefly before he looked away.

“Maybe…” Jack muttered under his breath, something unsaid hanging heavy in the room. But then, just as quickly, he turned back to Noah, snapping back into his usual banter. “But she’s not interested in you, mate. You’re a charity case.” The rest of the room burst into laughter, and the moment was gone, buried under their usual teasing. But Trent hadn’t laughed. He had felt something then, a pang of disappointment mixed with the quiet realization that Jack knew. Maybe Jack didn’t know the extent of it, but he’d always known there was something unspoken between you and Trent. And now here Trent was, years later, actively crossing the line Jack had drawn so clearly. He wasn’t a clueless teenager anymore, and the weight of what he was doing—and who he was risking—felt heavier than ever. But then his thoughts shifted to you. The way you’d looked at him the night before, your voice shaking as you’d told him he was everything, even when you thought you were losing him. That was enough to push the guilt aside, if only for a moment.

You called Layla that morning from your bedroom, your voice still thick with emotion but tinged with something lighter-relief, excitement, maybe even disbelief.

"When I tell you I was sobbing," you started, gripping the the edge of your dresser as you tried to steady your voice. "I was a mess, Layla. But then —he literally sent me flowers today. Like four arrangements. Four!" You explained. Layla didn't even pause before diving in, her tone pitched halfway between glee and exasperation.

"Finally! I've been screaming 'about time' since the first time you finally hooked up! That man's been fucking you for ages and he's just now asking you on a date?" She fell into giggles. You couldn't help but laugh, your cheeks heating even as you rolled your eyes.

"Layla! Can we not put it like that?" You tried to fight back a laugh.

"But I'm right!" she shot back. "It's been this whole dramatic saga of hiding and sneaking and you ending up crying at all hours because he's scared. And finally, he's putting it out there. I'm sorry, but I'm thrilled." You sighed, glancing at the arrangements. 

"It feels... so different this time. He said he wants to do it right. He called me the girl of every season." Your voice cracked on the last few words, the weight of everything hitting you all over again. Layla softened instantly. 

"Oh, babe. That's what you've wanted to hear, yeah? That he's sure. That he's not just scared of what Jack and the boys think but ready to fight for you." She cooed. You nodded even though she couldn't see you, tears pooling in your eyes. 

"It's just...so much. I feel like I'm still holding my breath. Like, what if it's too good to be true?" You asked her sheepishly. 

"Then let him prove it's not," Layla said firmly. "You've already been through the worst of it. Let him show you he's ready for the best of it." You sniffled, wiping at your eyes. 

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but...l think he is. Is that bad?” You asked her hesitantly hoping she’d almost lie to you if she felt otherwise. But Layla answered honestly, always. 

"No. This is good, Y/N, I can feel it," she said. "I''m so happy for you. Now we just let him sweep you off your feet properly. And wear something hot. You deserve to make him sweat." She told you very matter of fact and your mind began to work in overdrive after that imagining what you possibly had in your wardrobe that was fit for the occasion of all occasions; your first proper date with your brother’s best friend.

When the evening came, getting ready for the date felt surreal. You’d spent so long imagining this moment, and now that it was happening, the weight of it settled over you like a heavy, fluttering blanket. The mirror reflected your carefully chosen outfit, but your nerves made you question everything—was it too much? Not enough? Layla’s voice echoed in your head: Make him sweat. When the doorbell rang, your heart lurched. Trent was at your house. For a date. You opened the door with a shy smile, and Trent’s reaction stole whatever breath you had left. 

Trent had stepped out of the car, his heart already thudding in his chest as he approached the front door. For a split second, he hesitated, the weight of everything—Jack, the years of denying his feelings, the risks—hitting him all at once. This was your house, but it was also Jack’s house, and the lines between those roles had always blurred in his mind. You weren’t supposed to be this person for him. You weren’t supposed to be his. But when the door opened, and you stepped out to greet him, all of that disappeared. Everything—Jack, the past, the unspoken boundaries—faded into nothing. All that was left was you. And you were breathtaking. He blinked, stunned, as his eyes drank you in. You were wearing a black Saint Laurent mini dress that clung to your figure in all the right ways, the fabric draping elegantly across your body. The deep V neckline hinted at so much but revealed just enough to keep it tasteful, leaving him completely undone. The simplicity of the dress only heightened how stunning you looked, and Trent couldn’t believe this was the same girl he used to see in oversized jumpers and trainers, lounging on Jack’s sofa. You didn’t look like Jack’s sister anymore. You didn’t even look like the girl he’d been secretly pining for all this time. You looked like his.

“Wow,” he finally managed, his voice low and a little hoarse. He shook his head, clearly taken aback as his eyes swept over you slowly. He couldn’t stop staring, his gaze trailing from your perfectly styled hair down to the way the dress skimmed your thighs, then back up to meet your eyes. “You look…” He trailed off, shaking his head slightly as if trying to find the right words.  He didn’t even finish the thought, just stepped closer and brushed a hand down your arm as if grounding himself.

“I look…?” Your nerves melted a little at his touch, and you dared to tease him. He smiled, leaning in to kiss your temple. 

“You look perfect. Unreal…”  He cooed. A shy smile crept across your lips as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Thank you,” you murmured softly, feeling the intensity of his gaze. Trent took a deep breath, trying to steady himself as he reached for you.

 “You don’t look like…” He stopped himself, realizing how ridiculous it would sound to say, you don’t look like Jack’s sister right now. Instead, he smiled, his eyes softening as he leaned in closer. “You look like you. But more. If that makes sense.” Your smile widened, your cheeks flushing. 

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” you teased, trying to ease the tension that was crackling between you. But Trent didn’t laugh. He couldn’t. His eyes were too busy tracing the way the soft lighting from the porch framed your face, making your features glow. You weren’t just beautiful—you were magnetic. “Let’s go,” he said quietly, his voice tinged with something more than affection—something closer to awe. 

“Hold my hand.” His words were so simple, but the warmth in them settled your nerves as you slipped your hand into his. His fingers gently brushing yours before intertwining, his grip reassuring. He gently tugged on your hand, pulling you toward him as he bent down to kiss your temple, his lips lingering there for a moment.  And as he led you to the car, his heart racing and his mind whirling, all Trent could think was how wrong he’d been to ever believe you were off limits. You weren’t just something he wanted anymore. You were something he couldn’t imagine letting go. As you walked toward the car waiting outside, the weight of the situation loomed again. You hesitated, beginning to voice your lingering fear. Your anxiety if you should even be holding his hand here in front of the house skyrocketing. 

“Are you…?” You began to speak but Trent didn’t let you finish. 

“Yeah, I’m really sure.” His voice was steady, his gaze unwavering as he glanced down at you. He traced his thumb along the back of your hand, his certainty radiating through his touch. The tension in your chest loosened, and you let out a soft hum of approval. 

“Okay.” You leaned in, kissing his shoulder as the two of you reached the car. Trent smiled down at you, opening the door with care. For the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of something real.

The restaurant’s ambiance was a perfect blend of understated elegance and intimacy. The flickering candlelight reflected off the polished wood of your table, casting soft shadows that danced across Trent’s face. The low hum of conversation and occasional bursts of laughter from other diners barely registered; your world felt narrowed to the man sitting across from you. Trent was watching you intently, his eyes never straying far from yours. It was as though he was memorizing every detail, every expression, and every shift in your mood. You took a sip of your wine, savoring the moment, but before you could set your glass down, Trent leaned forward. His thumb gently brushed the corner of your mouth, catching a droplet of the deep red, his touch light but deliberate.

“Got you,” he murmured, his voice low and warm. His thumb lingered for a few seconds longer. You blinked, caught off guard by the tender gesture. 

“Thank you,” you whispered, the words barely audible as your cheeks heated. You ducked your head slightly, shy under his steady gaze. But Trent wasn’t about to let you retreat into yourself. He leaned across the table a little more, his hand moved to hold for your chin. His fingers tilted your face toward him, his touch as soft as his voice. 

“Look at me, baby,” he said gently, and when you lifted your eyes to meet his, he gave you a small, reassuring smile. Then, before you could overthink it, he closed the gap between you. His lips brushed against yours in a kiss so light it felt like a question, as if he was giving you the chance to pull away. But you didn’t. Instead, you leaned in, your heart racing as the kiss deepened for just a moment before you pulled back with a nervous giggle.

“Sorry,” you said, biting your lip. “That was… woah, you had me…. That was a lot...” You laughed shaking your head. You weren’t sure what planet you were on. He had pulled you into this world tonight that felt so surreal. He’d never done that to you before, kissed you in public, flirted with you at right while you sat across a table from him, it was all so confusing, and yet, he looked calm as ever. His movements were slow and deliberate. But then Trent chuckled, leaning back in his seat, but his hand stayed on yours, his thumb stroking over your knuckles. 

“Was it now?” he teased, his grin playful. You smirked, trying to compose yourself. 

“How many girls have you done that to?” you asked, your tone light but with a touch of curiosity beneath the joke. Trent raised an eyebrow, pretending to be offended. 

“What kind of question is that?” He asked you. His smile now sickened handsome and taunting.

“An important one,” you shot back, your grin widening. He held up his hand, palm out like he was swearing an oath. 

“Hand on heart, I have never wiped someone’s face. Not like that.” He told you. You narrowed your eyes at him, skeptical.

“Sure,” you drawled, the sarcasm dripping from your tone.

“I swear,” he said, leaning forward with a laugh. “You can ask anyone. I’ve never done that before.” You shook your head, trying to hide the way his words made your heart flutter. 

“Right,” you muttered, looking down at your plate to avoid his gaze. The restaurant around you felt like a cocoon. The warm lighting and muted colors created a sense of privacy, even though you knew other people were dining nearby. It was hard to tell if his choice in restaurants that felt hidden was intentional or if it was just your perception, but either way, it was okay. The world outside might as well not exist you were so transfixed on him tonight. You had recently got to spend a lot of time with Trent but really getting his undivided attention at a dinner had your head spinning. And apparently that internal chaos was something he could feel. 

“Stop overthinking,” Trent said suddenly, his voice breaking through your thoughts. You looked up at him, startled. 

“I’m not.” You smiled softly trying to just act normal but you couldn’t. 

“You are.” He smirked, his fingers sliding across the table to intertwine with yours. “I can see it all over your face.” You sighed, letting your thumb trace over his hand in return.

 “Maybe I am,” you admitted. “This just… it feels surreal.”

“Surreal good or surreal bad?” he asked, his tone soft but his expression serious.

“Surreal good,” you said quickly, meeting his eyes. “Definitely good.” He smiled at that, the kind of smile that made your heart skip a beat.

 “Good,” he said simply, squeezing your hand. The rest of the evening unfolded in a blur of easy conversation and quiet laughter. Trent kept finding ways to touch you—his hand brushing against yours, his knee bumping yours under the table, his fingers trailing lightly over your wrist when he thought you weren’t paying attention. Each touch felt deliberate, like he was grounding himself in the moment. By the time dessert arrived, you’d forgotten about everything outside of this little bubble you’d created together. For the first time in what felt like forever, you weren’t worried about what came next. You were just… happy.

Just as the waiter placed dessert on the table, your eyes drifted across the restaurant, scanning the room out of habit. That’s when you saw him—a player from Manchester United, someone you vaguely recognized. It took a moment to place him, but when you did, your stomach dropped. He wasn’t just another footballer. He was someone who was friends with Josh. And worse, he also knew Trent. Your fingers tightened around the edge of the table as a wave of anxiety crashed over you. He hadn’t noticed you yet, but it didn’t matter. The possibility that he might put two and two together made your throat tighten. Your heart raced as your mind spun through a dozen worst-case scenarios.

“Everything okay?” Trent’s voice cut through the fog. He’d been reaching for his fork, but now his full attention was on you, concern flickering in his eyes. You forced a smile, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes.

 “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said quickly, trying to sound casual. Trent didn’t buy it. His hand reached across the table, covering yours. 

“What’s wrong, baby. Is this not what you wanted?” He asked. You weren’t sure if he meant the dessert you just ordered or tonight in general, and while you thought you wanted both before now… you weren’t sure.  You hesitated, glancing back toward the other player, who was now laughing with his group, blissfully unaware of your presence. 

“It’s nothing,” you said, your voice quieter.

“Y/N,” Trent said firmly, his hand squeezing yours. “Talk to me.” You looked back at him, his steady gaze grounding you for a moment, but the weight in your chest didn’t lift.

“Someone we know is here..” you admitted finally, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Who?” Trent’s brows furrowed, his body tensing slightly as his protective instincts kicked in.

“Some lad on Man United… I think you know him,” you said, your eyes darting nervously toward the man again. “But he knows Josh… and he knows you.” Trent’s jaw tightened, and his grip on your hand shifted, his thumb stroking over your knuckles in a soothing motion.

 “Okay,” he said slowly. “And?”

“And he might recognize me,” you blurted out. “Us. Together.” Trent leaned back slightly, his expression softening as he pieced together your anxiety. 

“You’re worried about people finding out.” He cooed softly empathizing with your fear.  This was a big change to go from stolen kisses in the kitchen to sitting out in public together. You nodded, your stomach twisting. 

“This whole night has been amazing, but… I don’t know if I’m ready for this. For being public. For the questions, the stares, the judgment. I mean, what if Jack—” you began to babble, faster more panicked.

“Stop, pretty girl.” Trent interrupted gently but firmly. “Breathe for a second.” You took a shaky breath, but your chest still felt tight. “Look at me,” he said, his tone steady. When your eyes met his, he leaned forward, his expression open and earnest. “I get it. I do. This is… a lot. And if you’re not ready, we can figure it out. But right now, it’s just us. No one else matters.” He told you in a tone that Trent reserved solely god you. It was commanding but incredibly weak all at once. You swallowed hard, his words calming you slightly, but doubt still lingered. 

“I don’t want to ruin this,” you admitted, your voice cracking.

“You won’t,” he said, his tone firm. “I won’t let you.” The conviction in his voice made you want to believe him, but the weight of everything—your past, your ex, Jack, the scrutiny that would inevitably come—still sat heavy on your chest.

 “I just…” You trailed off, struggling to find the right words.

“Baby... please. Just be here with me ,” Trent said with a small smile. “I’m here with you. That’s all that matters right now. And if it's really too much, just say the word. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work but for right now.. Just try.” He cooed gently.  You stared at him, your heart aching at the sincerity in his eyes. 

“You’re being too nice.” You giggled nervously. Trent had always been unreasonably patient and kind with you and that clearly wasn’t about to change. “I don’t deserve you,” you whispered.

“Yes, you do,” he said without hesitation, his voice so sure it made your chest tighten even more. You wanted to believe him. You wanted to believe that you could do this, that you could be brave enough to let this relationship exist outside of the shadows. But as you glanced back at the other boy across the room, your stomach churned with doubt. Trent’s hand on yours pulled your attention back to him.  “Hey,” he said softly. “baby, I'm serious, if you’re not ready, we can leave. No pressure.” Trent meant what he said but he'd be lying if a part of him wasn't aching for you just to try with him. To really commit to him, to this, to trying- it hurt. You hesitated for a moment before shaking your head.  The dinner had been perfect so far—Trent’s soft smiles, the way his fingers occasionally grazed yours on the table, and the playful, teasing lilt of his voice when he spoke. But your nerves had made it hard to focus entirely on him. You were too aware of your surroundings, glancing discreetly across the restaurant, noting every unfamiliar face. And then him. Josh’s friend. Maybe his name was Devon, you couldn't remember. And while he hadn’t said a word to you or Trent, his presence alone had unsettled you, pulling your mind into a spiral of what ifs. You felt like you were holding your breath, waiting for something to go wrong. You looked at Trent, his concern breaking through the wall of anxiety building in your chest. Trent was being so gentle, so patient, and it hit you—he deserved all of your attention tonight. It wasn’t fair to let the past shadow this moment.

“I’m okay, baby. Thank you. I'm sorry. I'm here." you said, smiling as you squeezed his hand. You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to let go of the tension in your shoulders, and allowed yourself to fall back into the bubble he created. With each passing minute, it became easier to focus solely on him. His laughter was infectious, the way he leaned in closer to you when you spoke made your stomach flutter. You’d forgotten how safe it felt to be wrapped up in someone like this, where the rest of the world melted away. But while you were blissfully unaware, Josh’s friend wasn’t. From his seat across the restaurant, he stared, squinting as recognition settled in. First, he caught sight of Trent—someone he knew well from the pitch, a rival he loved to hate. Then, his gaze shifted to you, seated across from him, clearly on a date. It was all too good. You, the ex of his best mate, now smiling, laughing, leaning into the guy who had made headlines time and again for his assists. He reached for his phone, holding it low as he snapped a photo of you both, capturing the intimacy of the moment. Trent’s hand resting on yours, your head tilted slightly as you laughed at something he’d just said. He smirked, tucking the phone away, already composing the perfect explanation to Josh when they inevitably debriefed. Meanwhile, you and Trent remained nonchalant, completely unaware of the brewing storm outside your little world. It didn’t matter, though—not right now. Your focus was on the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, on how his foot brushed against yours under the table. For that moment, it was just the two of you—soft beginnings and unspoken promises, blissfully unaware of the chaos looming on the horizon.

As the car rolled down Trent’s driveway, the engine cut and he turned to you, his hand still loosely holding yours. “I’m off tomorrow,” he said, his voice soft but hopeful. “You’ll stay with me tonight?” He asked. You tilted your head, pretending to consider it, but the grin tugging at your lips gave you away. 

“Obviously,” you teased with a giggle.

“C’mon,” he said with a smirk, stepping out of the car and coming around to open your door, his hand extended to help you out. As you walked to his front door, he hesitated for a moment before speaking again, his tone quieter. 

“I know this might sound stupid, but… I feel like I don’t sleep as well when you’re not here.” Your heart clenched at his honesty, and you turned to look at him, warmth spreading through your chest. 

“Aw, I’m sorry,” you said, teasing but still genuine. “Guess you’ll just have to invite me over more often.”  You smiled at him.

“Yeah?” He smiled down at you, his eyes soft in the dim light. 

“Yeah,” you said confidently, giving his hand a squeeze. “I’ll be here whenever you need me.” Trent unlocked the door and pushed it open, stepping aside to let you in first. 

“That’s all the time.” As you walked past him, he murmured under his breath, almost like he didn’t mean for you to hear it. You stopped just inside the doorway and turned to look at him, your expression softening. 

“Hmm?” you asked.

“Nothing,” he said quickly, a bashful smile tugging at his lips. But you weren’t letting him off that easy.

“No, say it again. You said something,” you cooed, stepping closer to him, your curiosity piqued. He hesitated, running a hand over his hair, before finally meeting your eyes.

 “I said that’s all the time. I need you all the time.” He repeated himself feeling a little embarrassed. For a moment, the air between you felt heavier, charged with something unspoken but deeply felt. You stepped closer, your hand reaching up to brush against his cheek. 

“You’re such a closeted melt, you know that?” you teased, your voice trembling slightly with emotion.

“Yeah, well,” he said, his voice softening as his hands found your waist, pulling you closer. “You bring it out of me.” You leaned into him, your forehead resting against his, and for a moment, the world outside didn’t matter. It was just you and Trent, tangled up in each other, finding solace in the quiet honesty of the moment.

The moment you stepped into Trent’s ensuite that night, a wave of peace swept over you, so profound it nearly took your breath away. You paused in the doorway, your hand resting on the frame as your eyes scanned the room. It was large but not overly ornate, it felt like him—clean, understated, yet warm. Your toothbrush stood beside his on the sink, its placement deliberate and thoughtful. A small bottle of your favorite cleanser sat next to his cologne, nestled naturally as if it had always belonged there. A claw clip of yours rested near the edge of the counter, a quiet, unspoken reminder of the nights you’d spent here. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to undo you. You felt a tightness in your chest, not from anxiety or pain, but from an overwhelming sense of being seen. In the past, you’d been in rooms like this before. You’d picked up a bobby pin that didn’t belong to you, brushed past an earring left by someone else, and each time, it stung like a fresh wound, proof that you were just one of many. But here? Here, there were no ghosts of anyone else. Only you. It was all you tucked neatly beside only him. You took a step forward, letting your fingers trail along the edge of the counter. The thought of it—Trent deliberately making room for you, keeping your things here like they were as much a part of his space as his own—made your heart swell. It was such a simple thing, yet it felt monumental.

The sound of his footsteps behind you pulled you from your thoughts. You turned slightly to see him walk in, peeling his T-shirt off over his head in one easy motion. His body, lean and strong, caught the soft light of the room. He tossed the shirt onto the hamper carelessly before his eyes found yours in the mirror. A small, easy smile played on his lips as he crossed the room toward you, his movements unhurried. When he reached you, he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, pulling you gently into him. His warmth seeped into your back as he pressed his chin against your shoulder, meeting your gaze in the mirror.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said softly, his voice low and steady, full of sincerity. You turned your head to look at him directly, but before you could speak, he tilted his head down, pressing a tender kiss to the side of your neck. His lips brushed against your skin, and the simple touch sent a shiver through you. “I mean it,” he murmured into the curve of your shoulder, his voice muffled but no less sure. “I can’t sleep without you sometimes, baby.” His confession made your breath hitch. Your chest rose and fell, your heart racing, but not from nerves. This was so different, quieter, yet somehow so much deeper. You turned fully into his embrace, letting your hands rest on his forearms, your fingers tracing the lean muscles there. His lips trailed across your skin, pressing soft, unhurried kisses along your neck and shoulder. He wasn’t rushing; he was savoring, as if every touch of his lips was a silent reassurance, a promise he didn’t yet know how to put into words. You let your eyes flutter shut, leaning back into him as he tightened his hold on you. His hands slid beneath your shirt, his fingers finding their place on your bare stomach. He rubbed slow, languid circles there, his touch both grounding and electrifying. “You look so good like this,” he murmured against your skin, his voice low and reverent. A quiet hum escaped your lips as you leaned into him even more, your head resting against his shoulder. It wasn’t just his touch that made you feel this way; it was the way he held you, like you were something precious, something he didn’t want to let go of.

“This,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. “This feels… perfect.” You told him.

“It does,” he replied, his voice equally soft but certain. For a while, you stayed there, wrapped in each other, letting the stillness of the moment settle over you. The air between you was charged yet calming, full of unspoken truths and quiet reassurances. As his hands continued their soothing motion on your stomach, you felt it—a profound sense of belonging. This wasn’t just a room, or a night, or even a fleeting moment. This was what you’d been searching for, what you hadn’t known you needed until now.

“You really like when I stay with you?” you whispered, your voice breaking slightly with emotion.

“I really do,” he promised, pressing a lingering kiss to your temple. His words weren’t just for the moment; they felt like a vow, one you believed with your whole heart. And as you stood there, his arms around you, the world outside faded away, leaving only the two of you in the quiet comfort of something that finally felt like home. Your moment of bliss was split when his phone rang. It was late, no one but someone important would call this late so you nodded for him to take it. He placed a couple more kisses onto your shoulder and your neck before dragging his hands off of you.

"Come to bed when you’re ready," he murmured nodding you on to finish getting ready for bed whilst he answered a phone call that ended up being from his agent.  

As you stepped out of the en-suite, Trent was already lying on the bed, propped up against the headboard, his dark eyes fixed on you. The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the bedside lamp, casting a warm glow over his chiseled features. He looked god-esque, his tanned skin glistening in the soft light, and his brown eyes sparkling with desire. You could feel a rush of excitement as you noticed the bulge in his sweatpants, a clear indication of his arousal. Smiling shyly, you approach the bed, your heart racing. Setting your phone down on the nightstand, you climbed onto the bed, your eyes never leaving his. Trent's gaze traveled down your body, taking in every curve, his eyes lingering on your tits, now partially exposed in your little silk pajama set.

"You look beautiful," he says, his voice deep and husky. "I love seeing you like this, at home with me… getting into bed with me.” He told you and though you agreed with loving his domestic this all felt you really liked the undertone of lust. You blushed at his words, feeling a surge of pleasure at the way he was able to make you feel desired. 

"Yeah?” you replied, your voice a little breathless. "I like how you look at me when I get into your bed.” You smirked. Trent chuckled, a low, seductive sound that sent shivers down your spine. 

"I can't help it, baby. You're so fucking sexy." He reached out and ran his fingers along your jawline, his touch sending sparks of electricity through your body. "I've been thinking about this all day. About having you here, back in my bed, doing all the things I've been dreaming of." Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You'd been dreaming of this moment too, of being with Trent, of a night like tonight exploring the passion and desire you'd both kept hidden for so long now bringing it out in public. Yet, in the bedroom, in private, was where you most wanted to be. You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes as his thumb brushed over your lower lip. "I want to make you feel good, Y/N," he whispers, his breath warm against your skin. "I want to touch you, taste you, make you say my name." He cooed gently with a purr. Your breath caught in your throat as his words sank in. You  always knew Trent was a confident and dominant guy, but hearing him express his desires so openly sends a thrill through your body every time.  You wanted to please him, to submit to his every whim, and the thought excited you beyond measure.

"Yes, please," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "I want that now, baby." Trent's eyes darkened with a fierce intensity, and he pulled you closer, his strong arms wrapping around your waist. He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours, a gentle tease that left you craving more.

 "I'm going to take care of you, baby," he murmurs between kisses. As his lips captured yours, you melted into the kiss, your body molding perfectly to his. His tongue danced with yours, exploring, tasting, and claiming. You can taste the mint from your toothpaste on his tongue, a refreshing contrast to the heat building between you. His kiss was demanding, possessive, and it sent a clear message—he wants you, and he's going to have you. Your hands began to roam over his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath his freshly clean shirt he’d just put on. You tugged at the fabric, eager to feel his skin against yours. Trent broke the kiss, his breathing heavy as he helped you lift his shirt over his head, revealing his sculpted torso. The sight of his bare chest took your breath away. His skin was smooth and tanned, with a light dusting of hair that trails down his stomach, disappearing into the waistband of his joggers.

"Fuck, you're so hot, T," you whispered, running your fingers over his pecs, feeling the rigid definition of his muscles. Trent's eyes gleamed with satisfaction at your words. He leaned back, pulling you on top of him, your legs straddling his waist. The position giving you a delicious sense of power. You took a moment to admire the sight of his strong body beneath you.

"Y/N," he growled your name, his hands gripping your thighs. "Show me how much you want me." He commanded you. You bit your lip, feeling a surge of boldness as you reached down grasping the waistband of his joggers. With slow, deliberate movements, you slid them down his hips, revealing his thick, erect cock, straining against his boxer briefs. You let out a soft gasp at the sight, your body throbbing with need, your fingers tracing the length of his shaft through the thin fabric. Trent's breath hitched as your fingers teased him, he bucked his hips, seeking more contact.  "Fuck, baby," he groans. "Take what you want. Show me.” You didn’t need to be told twice. With a swift motion, you hooked your thumbs under the elastic of his underwear and pulled them down, freeing his hard length. His cock sprung free, thick and heavy, the head glistening with pre-cum. You lean down, your breath ghosting over the sensitive skin, making him shudder. "Suck my cock, pretty girl," he commanded smugly, his hands gently dragging up your arm, to your shoulder, before moving to push some of your hair back. You obliged with a smile and a hum, lowering your head and taking the tip of his cock into your warm mouth. Trent let out a guttural moan as you swirled your tongue around the head, tasting the salty sweetness of him. You sucked gently, taking him deeper, inch by inch, until you could feel his hands in your hair, encouraging you to take more. "That's it, good girl," he grunted, his hips thrusting gently, fucking your mouth. And you took him well, minute after minute. "You wanna make me cum, baby? Suck me nice and slow, feel how hard you make me." You moaned around his length, the vibrations sending him over the edge. Trent's hands tighten in your hair, holding you in place as he empties his load down your throat. You swallow, relishing the taste of him, the evidence of his pleasure. He pulled you up, his lips seeking yours, sharing a deep, passionate kiss. "You're incredible," he breathed, his hands stroking your back. "I can't get enough of you." You smiled against his lips, feeling empowered by his words. 

"I want to feel you inside me, T," you whispered, your hands roaming down his body, eager for more of him. He grinned, his eyes alight with anticipation.

“Mmmm, good, cause I plan to be inside you all night, baby." With that, he rolled you onto your back, his body covering yours, his lips trailing kisses down your neck, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. His hands slide under your top, caressing your skin, making you squirm with delight. "Let me take this off," he murmurs, his fingers deftly pulling up your silk tank top. You lifted your arms, allowing him to remove the garment, baring your tits to his hungry gaze. His eyes darkened as he took in the sight of your tits, your nipples already taut and begging for attention. "So fucking gorgeous," he growled, lowering his head to take a tight peak into his mouth. His tongue teased and suckled, drawing a moan from deep within you. You arched into his touch, your hands threading through his hair, holding him to you as he lavished attention on your sensitive flesh. His hands roamed over your body, exploring, squeezing, and caressing, making you feel alive and desired in a way you never had. "So good f’me, baby," he whispers, his breath hot against your skin as he moves to the other boob, giving it the same attentive treatment. You're lost in a haze of pleasure, your body humming with desire. Trent's hands travel down your body, playing with the waistband of your shorts before sliding them down your legs, leaving you clad only in your lacy panties. He took a moment to admire your naked form, his eyes burning with appreciation. "You're so fucking beautiful, Y/N," he says, his voice thick with admiration. "I’ve wanted this for so long. Every time feels like dream. Just want to worship every inch of you."  His words sent a thrill through your body, almost as if he cast a spell with them causing your legs to magically spread in silent invitation, eager for more of his touch. Trent knelt between your thighs, his eyes fixed on your core, now covered only by a thin layer of silk. "Gonna let me taste you, baby?” he asked tauntingly but his voice hoarse with need.

“Mhhhmm. Please, T.” You nodded, your breath coming in short gasps as he hooked his fingers under the elastic of your panties and slowly slid them down your legs. He took his time, his eyes never leaving your exposed heat, drinking in the sight of your glistening folds.

"So wet just for me," he murmurs, his fingers gently parting your lips, exposing your clit. You let out a soft cry as his finger brushes over your sensitive bundle of nerves, sending shocks of pleasure through your body. Trent leaned down, his breath hot against your swollen flesh, and then he replaced his finger with his mouth, his tongue flicking and lapping at your clit.

"Oh God, T, fuck," you moaned, your hands gripping the sheets as he feasted on your pussy, his tongue delving deep, tasting your essence. He moaned against you, the vibrations sending you closer to the edge. His fingers joined his tongue, sliding into your wet heat, stretching and filling you as he suckled your clit. Your body coiled tighter with each stroke, each flick of his tongue, until you were teetering on the precipice of release.

"Cum for me, baby," he urges, his voice muffled against your sex. "Let me feel you come on my tongue." His words pushed you over the edge, and you cried out, your body convulsing as wave after wave of pleasure rippling through you. Trent didn’t let up though, his tongue and fingers worked in perfect harmony, drawing out your orgasm until you were left trembling and sated. He moved up your body, his lips finding yours, sharing the taste of your climax. "So good f’me, baby," he breathes, his eyes filled with adoration. "I love making you feel good. Love making you cum." You tiredly smiled, your heart full as you pull him close, feeling the deep connection between you. 

"I love cumming for you, T," you whispered, your fingers tracing the strong lines of his face. Both of you were using the orgasm as a front. Hiding behind the physical sensations to mask the very deep emotional connection developing. Neither of you really cared about that specific orgasm, no matter how good it was - you just were so clearly in love with each other and needed to say something but this wasn’t the time. It wasn’t the place. "I've never felt this way before." You sheepishly told him. He kissed you softly, his lips brushing yours in a tender caress.

 "I know, baby. I feel it too. This is just the beginning. Promise" Trent cooed. He was talking about sex tonight but he was also talking about your relationship, your feelings. As his words began to sink in, you realized this night was just the start of something much bigger. The rest of the evening was spent in every position possible. Each orgasm hacking away at your restraint. You were falling weaker and weaker to him literally and figuratively, terrified you’d let those three little words slip. But after round five and orgasm seven you said no more, clinging to Trent, exhausted and spent, your eyes fluttering closed as he held you securely rubbing his hands up and down your body gently. He hummed in agreement kissing your glistening skin. He cleaned you up but you barely remember it as you were focused on nothing else but not letting your tired mind and body mutter how truly in love with him you really were. You successfully fell to sleep with no slip ups but Trent could feel the tension. He almost wished you had said it so he could finally admit it to you but that wasn't the case. And so that night, he held you tighter to him than he ever had before as he dozed off, unable to leave any space for the words you both longed to say. He was struggling to bite back the feelings looking at you asleep in his arms, the words so desperate to come out now. You looked so different now. Different than you did on the porch and you felt different too. You felt like you were his. But it wasn't just you, it all felt different, so different. Things had changed. You two had changed and there was no turning back now.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter or of what's to come!

Next part - Chapter 11 xx

[sagittariangirl27]

Pisces new moon tonight. 🌑♓️🦇

[samuelroukin]

That’s insane I’ve never seen any kind of man except standard human before. Have you met a ghost ever

love that sentence it's very good. i wouldn't say i've met a ghost but i have seen some human-shaped shadowy things... also felt the very distinct sensation of a cat walking on your bed while you're in there a couple times but there was no cat :( and one time my sibling was playing around filming the floor and stuff, and caught something like a white rabbit run past? and we had a white rabbit at the time but he was in his cage up on the table so? ghost rabbit (or probably somehow camera malfunction idk). other than that just the typical children singing/whispers/feeling a touch when there's nothing there

[pixlokita]

Painful wing fanart incoming but you already knew about it and colored it so like -w- hiding it for the gore and blood tho >>

I feel like it was less gory in black and white but honestly 👀✨ aight don’t mind me I’m going to the tag now

BEHOLD!!! AN ART TRADE!!! @pixlokita it is time!

Caution, do not click read more if you do not intend to read. This is 12,192 words. And no, I'm not kidding. This is so much longer than most of the stuff I write. That being said, enjoy!!!

Evan said Michael was sick, which worried Jeremy. Being sick should not mean Michael would try so hard to avoid Jeremy, especially since he knew it would make Jeremy worry about him more.

But the main part Jeremy was worried about was the way Evan’s new wings kept fluffing up. Was Michael mad at him?

Don’t worry about it, Jeremy, he told himself. If Michael’s mad, he’ll tell you eventually.

It just stung. Evan and Gregory were wandering around the house, trying to see if their wings would allow them to do various things. Evan’s were too small to do much, and Gregory still hadn’t gotten used to them yet, but at least they had something to do while Mr. Emily tried to figure out what could possibly cause this.

“Ugh!” Gregory exclaimed, plopping down on the sofa next to Jeremy. He took the soda from Jeremy’s hand and took a giant sip. “These things suck.”

“What do you mean?” Jeremy asked, unsuccessfully trying to retrieve his Coke.

“I mean,” Gregory scowled, taking another sip, “that wings are stupid. They don’t even bend the way I want them to.”

“Well…” Jeremy said thoughtfully. “They are just extra limbs, right? With bones and joints and stuff?”

“I guess so.” Gregory finally gave Jeremy his soda back. “But they don’t move how I want-“

“You couldn’t do much when you were a baby right? Learning to crawl?” Jeremy chugged the rest of his Coke before putting the empty can down. “It’s an accomplishment when babies get their heads off the floor on their own, you know. And rolling and stuff.”

“Oh.” Gregory clearly hadn’t thought about it that way. “But Evan’s got excellent control already.”

“He’s had them longer.” Jeremy shrugged. “Maybe he’s just a quick learner. Or maybe, there’s less wing to work with. Could be a bunch of things.”

“But…” Gregory sighed. He inched closer to Jeremy on the couch, his wings refusing to bend in a natural way.

Jeremy awkwardly looped a comforting arm around Gregory. “You’ll get there eventually.”

“They just hurt. All the time.”

“I can’t help with that,” Jeremy chuckled.

“Sure you can! Mike did this thing once, where he…” Gregory chewed his lip. “Well, I’m not exactly sure what he did.”

“You want me to pet you?” Jeremy said in disbelief. “Nuh uh. Go ask Evan. That’s not… No.”

“Why’d you make it weird?” Gregory shook his head. “It was like…”

“Like a shoulder massage,” Evan interjected helpfully. His wings flexed, expanding fully as he explained. They barely went past his shoulders, but the point got across.

Jeremy admired the confidence with which he showed them. He’d personally be too worried about people calling him a freak. Which, thinking about it, was not likely to happen in this house. Everyone was too nice here.

“Mikey went like this,” Evan said, pulling Jeremy’s arm back to get to Gregory’s wings.

Gently, Evan messaged the inner edge of Gregory’s wings, right where they extended from his back. Gregory’s wings convulsed, the claw on one nearly hitting Jeremy in the face. “I think they get itchy,” Evan mused. “We might have to just do this more often.”

“No kidding,” Gregory said with a sigh, his eyes closing and his shoulders relaxing. “But Mike’s still better at it.”

“Wonder where he got his practice,” Jeremy replied. He didn’t mean to sound bitter, but it still came across that way.

Evan winched, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he kept focused on his task. Gregory sighed absently. “Wings are a lot of work.”

“Seems that way,” Jeremy replied.

Gregory folded and unfolded his hands while Evan worked. “I just…”

Jeremy spared him a glance as he went to get another can of Coke. “Something on your mind?”

“His girlfriend,” Evan said absently.

“Cassie’s not my girlfriend!” Gregory said, straightening. His wings fluffed up as he said it.

“Oh.” Jeremy had no idea what to make of that. “What happened to her?”

“I don’t know!” Gregory replied. He ran a hand through his hair to try to make it lay flat. “She was at Evan’s party, and she looked really bad. I think Mike took care of it, but he didn’t really say anything about it afterwards.”

“She’s probably at the hospital, Gregory,” Evan replied, trying to be soothing. “We can visit her once we figure out what to do about this first.”

“Stupid wings,” Gregory grumbled. “Making everything harder.”

Jeremy didn’t know how to reply to that. He cracked the can open and took a sip. “Have you asked Mike?”

“He’s sick,” Evan answered for Gregory. His wings fluffed up again.

“Maybe we should check on him then. He’s been resting all week right?” Jeremy asked, trying to be casual about it. Evan had been very guarded about his older brother this whole time.

Jeremy came over every day, and every day, Evan said the same thing. “Mike’s sick. He can’t see anyone right now.”

It had been happening since the day Gregory’s wings had burst through his skin. Jeremy was more than a little concerned. Sure, he hadn’t reacted well to the wings at first, but none of them had. He’d been more supportive when Evan’s had burst through later that same day.

But Michael’s expression became very guarded for the rest of the day, and the next day, he was “sick” and couldn’t see Jeremy. And Evan was very good at shooing Jeremy away when he tried too hard to see him.

“Shouldn’t he eat something?” Jeremy asked.

Evan frowned. “Mikey told me that there’s not much he can stomach right now.”

“Crackers always work,” Jeremy mumbled to himself. Shaking his head, he tried again. “What about water? Maybe he’ll start feeling better with some fluids.”

“I… guess…” Evan seemed less sure. Conflicted, he looked at Gregory and then glanced at the closed door to his cousin’s room.

“I can get it. You keep helping Gregory,” Jeremy said quickly. He didn’t want Evan to change his mind.

Evan relented, nodding slightly. “Okay. Make sure to get him a big glass. And don’t be loud. And-“

“I know how it works when someone’s sick, thank you.” Jeremy set his Coke down and rushed back to the kitchen to grab a glass.

Evan had not been exaggerating. When Jeremy crept into the room with the glass of water, Michael was curled into a tight ball on the bed.

“Mike?” Jeremy whispered into the quiet room.

Michael groaned in response. He rolled over to face Jeremy, exposing the hair plastered to his face with sweat.

“I um.” Jeremy swallowed. He felt a little foolish now. Michael was just literally sick. He wasn’t mad at Jeremy or anything like that. “I brought you some water.”

Michael opened his eyes, feebly reaching for the glass.

“Are you strong enough to hold it on your own?” Jeremy asked.

Michael had to consider that for a moment. Then he shook his head.

“Here-“ Jeremy sat next to Michael on the bed, helping pull him into an upright position so he could drink the water.

Michael leaned heavily against Jeremy, eagerly drinking the water. Jeremy had to brace himself against the wall to support the extra weight. Then abruptly, Michael pulled away.

“J… Jeremy,” Michael whispered weakly. He gripped at Jeremy’s jacket, burying his face in Jeremy’s shirt. “I…”

“It’s okay, Mike-“

Michael seized in Jeremy’s arms, sobbing heavily. His hold got tighter and tighter as his body shuddered with pain. Jeremy tried to set the glass on the bedside table, but he barely had it on the edge and water soaked into the carpet as he pulled Michael the rest of the way into his lap. “I got you,” Jeremy said into Michael’s hair.

“It hurts,” Michael cried, still shaking.

“You’ll get through this,” Jeremy mumbled.

A tearing noise broke through the sound of Michael’s sobs, even as they intensified. “JEREMY!!!” Michael wailed.

“I have you, Mike. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

Dimly, Jeremy registered the large wings erupting from Michael’s back. Oh. Oh. This was happening now. Bloody feathers spread out, wrapping around Jeremy to return his comforting gesture.

Gradually, Michael’s crying ceased, and Jeremy was left holding an exhausted teenager with bloody wings. “I am sorry,” Michael whispered, pulling his hands back, the wings retracting slightly. “I did not mean to, uh…”

“It’s okay, Michael.” Jeremy tried to smile at him. He was determined not to squirm in discomfort from all the blood currently soaking into his jacket.

“I… should go shower,” Michael said awkwardly.

“Yeah…” Jeremy wriggled uncomfortably in his jacket.

“Sorry,” Michael said. “I can wash that if you want.”

“It’s not the biggest deal,” Jeremy said.

“It is if you go home wearing a jacket covered in blood,” Michael replied. “It’s only fair that I clean it, since that’s my blood.”

That wasn’t how Jeremy saw it, but he figured he wasn’t getting out of this. “Okay.”

Michael shifted carefully, putting his feet on the carpet. Almost instantly after taking his weight off the bed, he completely lost his balance. His wings flew out, trying to redistribute the weight, but Jeremy didn’t realize that as he caught Michael by the waist. Both of them tumbled off the bed, Jeremy hitting the carpet with a soft ‘oomph.’

“I am sorry. This was not my intent,” Michael said from above Jeremy.

“They take some getting used to, huh?” Jeremy replied, trying to ignore the heat rising to his face.

It hadn’t been much on the bed with Michael clinging to him like a lifeline. But on the floor with Michael on top of him, pinning him to the ground, Jeremy was suddenly aware of how close Michael was to him.

Michael smiled ruefully. “I don’t think I’m strong enough to walk on my own right now. I don’t know how I’m going to wash all this blood off by myself.”

“Maybe your uncle could help?”

“He’s probably back at the library again,” Michael mused as he crawled off Jeremy.

Evan wouldn’t be able to handle it, Jeremy knew that much. And he couldn’t ask for Gregory’s help without alerting Evan to the amount of blood that coated them both.

“Do you want me to help?” Jeremy asked, feeling the heat more intensely in his face. Please say no. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle it.

“Really?” Michael chewed his lip, considering it. “I would not want to be a bother… But if you are offering…”

Jeremy’s heart quickened at the prospect. “R-right.”

“Help me up?” Michael asked.

Jeremy pulled Michael to his feet, unprepared for the wings to wrap around him again. “Um.”

“Sorry. I don’t have much control over them yet,” Michael replied sheepishly.

“Do they want me to carry you?” Jeremy gauged the idea of carrying Michael to the bathroom. It wasn’t the worst idea he’d ever come up with.

“It’d probably be less awkward than walking there like this,” Michael agreed.

“So I’m just going to…” Jeremy twisted around in the space the wings allowed him. Michael hissed out a pained breath, but soon he was behind Jeremy. “How well can you jump?”

Pretty well, apparently. Jeremy barely needed to adjust for the weight of Michael on his own back, hands linked beneath Michael’s knees. “Okay. Let’s get you taken care of.”

“I am not a child, Jer,” Michael said wearily. Still, he pressed the side of his face into Jeremy’s hair. “I am sorry to be such a burden.”

“You’re not a burden, Mike. You’re my friend. I’m absolutely willing to help you out when you’re in need.”

“Mmmmm,” Michael sounded almost mournful. But he didn’t argue.

“Okay,” Jeremy said. “So, I’m thinking they might need a decent soaking, right? Birds like to be fully submerged when they clean their wings right?”

Michael blinked at him from where he sat on the toilet lid. “What are you even saying?”

“The blood.”

“It is not dried yet. Not completely anyway.”

“So what? You were planning to just wing this whole thing, weren’t you?” Jeremy shrugged off his jacket.

Michael snorted. “I was planning to shower, Jeremy. But I guess I was planning to wing it, considering how I have wings now.” His wings stretched as he spoke, emphasizing his point. “I just don’t have the strength to stand there long enough to wash them off.”

“I-“ Jeremy sputtered. Clearing his throat, he tried to skip over the accidental pun he’d made. “Just going to let the water do the work?”

“That’s the goal.” Michael frowned. “There’s just a few problems.”

“Such as?”

“My shirt isn’t going to come off the same way it went on this morning.”

“Are you particularly attached to that shirt?” Jeremy asked.

“Not really. Could try to just-“ Michael pulled at the collar of his shirt.

“I’ll go grab a pair of scissors,” Jeremy said as Michael pulled experimentally at his shirt again.

He had to be careful walking by the couch, noticing Evan curled up for a nap. Gregory was nowhere in sight.

Returning with the scissors, Jeremy nearly dropped them upon seeing Michael. “What happened? I was gone for two minutes!”

Michael’s shirt was hanging off his body in shreds. When Jeremy looked closer, he could see sharp claws on Michael’s hands. “I…” Michael shrugged sheepishly. “I thought I could tear the fabric and take it off myself.”

Jeremy’s mouth twitched, but he didn’t let himself laugh. “Okay. I don’t think you did a very good job of it though.”

“It seems as though I failed…”

“Here, let me just…” Jeremy carefully reached around Michael’s head, one knee resting between his legs. It felt strange to be cutting through Michael’s shirt, but as the fabric gave way, Michael seemed to relax a little more.

Jeremy recalled Gregory and Evan both sitting on the couch as Michael measured the shape they needed cut from their shirts for the wings. Perhaps Michael needed a few of those done as well. Something to keep in mind for later.

“Hey, why is there blood all over-“ Gregory’s eyes widened as he peered into the bathroom.

Michael straightened quickly. Jeremy pulled back, hiding the scissors. “Hello.” Michael waved awkwardly, his wings stiff and very clearly exposed.

“You… you have them too?” Gregory’s voice seemed so small.

“Yes, it appears as though we will match.”

Gregory swallowed harshly. “I can help. I know how to get blood stains out of fabric.”

“I would really appreciate it. Thank you, Superstar.” Michael beamed at Gregory, who flushed a deep red.

“It’s no big deal…”

“Not to you,” Jeremy said softly. “But it helps more than you realize. Thank you.”

Gregory opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. He scratched his neck as his wings fluffed up, finally saying, “I’ll be quick. It probably won’t be good if Evan finds out.”

“It would be best if he did not know how messy the process is,” Michael agreed.

Gregory nodded, smoothing his hair down before hurrying out of the room.

Michael wadded the scraps of his shirt into a ball and tossed it to the floor. “Now that that’s sorted…”

Jeremy determinedly kept his eyes from wandering as he helped Michael stand. His friend leaned heavily against him for support as he attempted to undo his pants.

Jeremy belatedly realized that the only way this whole thing would work was if the shower ran over both of them. I’m going to be drenched, he thought sorrowfully as Michael muttered to himself in frustration.

“You could probably just sit while I wash the blood off,” Jeremy said when Michael finally stood there in his boxers. “Since it would be less exhausting for you.”

Michael blinked. “I suppose you are correct. I should have thought this through more.”

“It’s no big deal, man. You’re probably dealing with blood loss or whatever.”

“Still…”

“Hey, it’s fine. You spend all this time taking care of everybody. Maybe it’s time someone took care of you, right?”

Michael chewed his lip. “I suppose.”

“Okay. We’ll get you cleaned up in no time, Mike.” Jeremy said, smiling supportively. Michael tentatively smiled back.

As it turned out, it was a lot harder to clean up Michael than Jeremy initially thought. He kept twitching away, hissing out noises of pain at Jeremy’s touch.

Michael clenched his fists in his lap. “Okay. Clearly this is not the proper solution.”

“I can’t do this when it’s clearly hurting you, Mike. I just…” Jeremy leaned forward to rest his head against the back of Michael’s.

“This is nothing. I have endured much worse before.”

“That’s not as reassuring as you think it is.”

“Jeremy.” Michael said calmly, wringing water out of the washcloth. “I am sure it has become clear to you that things are not how they should be. The wings are only one part of it.”

“Yeah? What I’m hearing is that your father is abusive.” Jeremy wearily took the washcloth back, dabbing it gently against the space between Michael’s wings. At least like that it didn’t seem to hurt him.

“Well, not in the way you would think. Actually, I was thinking more of the comparison between growing limbs and losing organs. I think losing organs is still a more painful experience than this.”

“So you want me to just ignore your pain?” Jeremy asked, trying to decipher Michael’s meaning.

“I am saying I can handle it. I can be a man about this.”

No one is doubting that, Jeremy thought grimly to himself. “Maybe I can’t.” He tentatively rubbed at a clump of blood in the inner edge of Michael’s wing.

Immediately, it swung at him, throwing him against the sink. Pain flared throughout Jeremy’s entire body as he hit the floor. Faintly he registered that his face was bleeding.

“Jeremy?” Michael asked, twisting around. “Are you alright?”

“Nnnnngh,” Jeremy groaned. “I don’t think I broke anything.”

“I am so sorry. It appears that the wings are more sensitive than I thought.”

“No kidding.” Jeremy pressed his fingers to his cheek. He was lucky. The clawed joint of Michael’s wing had hit him just below the eye. Any higher, and he might’ve lost it completely. “Now what?”

“I suppose I should just sit under the water and hope for the best.”

“I think Gregory and Evan mentioned messages working out the soreness. Maybe I could at the very least-“

“I think we should avoid that for now,” Michael replied, his voice sounding stiff. “You have already been hurt once today.”

“Michael.” Jeremy tried to make his voice sound stern. “I knew the risks when I offered to help. So let me help.”

“Fine. Just do not do anything that will put you in danger again.”

“Don’t lie about how much it hurts next time,” Jeremy shot back. “Still gotta get all that blood out of your wings, you know.”

Michael clenched his jaw, but he only stared down into his hands. He couldn’t face Jeremy with the nasty cut on his face any longer.

Jeremy was lighter after that. He knew that even pressing a little too hard would make the wings spaz, and over the course of the next few hours, he succeeded with minimal interruptions.

Gregory popped in near the end to check on the progress. “Henry’s back. Do you want me to tell him about this?” He gestured at the entirety of the bathroom.

“I believe he should be informed. Please ensure that my brother does not come to investigate before we are done here.”

“And maybe grab him a dry set of clothes while you’re at it,” Jeremy said. As an afterthought, he looked at himself. “Maybe grab me something too, if you would.”

Gregory rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. How much does it hurt?”

“I suspect that I should be in more pain than I am,” Michael said, considering the question. “But Jeremy has done an excellent job of making sure the process is less than agonizing.”

“Uh, okay?” Gregory shot Jeremy a look.

“I can’t hardly touch him without the wings reacting,” Jeremy explained. “Nearly lost an eye the first time I did that.”

“So it’s bad.”

“It’s bad,” Jeremy agreed.

Gregory shot Michael a look loaded with concern, but he gave Jeremy a thumbs up. “I’ll ask Henry if he can get you guys some dry clothes. Maybe I’ll just imply that something else is going on in here if Evan asks.” He wiggled his eyebrows in a way that made Jeremy’s face burn.

“Gregory-“

But Gregory had already ducked out of the room, laughing quietly to himself. Jeremy sighed, preparing himself for the inevitable glares he’d get from Evan.

Michael sighed softly once Jeremy finally went to smooth out the wings. “That feels really nice.”

“Glad to hear it,” Jeremy said softly. “I think we got all the blood out.”

“Is it time to turn the water off then?” Michael asked, his eyes closing.

“I’d say so.” Thank goodness, Jeremy thought as he turned the dials back and pressed the tab down. “Now you need to dry off a bit.”

“Mmmmm….” Michael hummed to himself as Jeremy stepped into the tub with a towel and started rubbing Michael’s head with it.

Michael’s eyes fluttered open, and he smiled at Jeremy. “You really do like taking care of me, don’t you?”

Jeremy huffed out a sigh. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, would I?”

“I thought you just stuck around to steal our Coca Cola.”

“That too. But I do enjoy your company, Mike.”

The smile broke into a full grin as Michael tugged the towel out of Jeremy’s hands. “That is wonderful news, Jeremy.”

Did he really not know? Jeremy wondered.

Before he had a chance to answer, Henry peered into the bathroom, assessing the pool of water on the floor. He raised a tired eyebrow as he observed the two boys in the bathtub. “I wasn’t inclined to believe Gregory before, but seeing it for myself…”

Jeremy’s face ignited with heat. “I was just helping clean blood from his wings. Nothing else happened, I swear.”

“I was referring to the fact that Michael grew wings. What did you think I meant?” Henry’s eyebrows scrunched, and Michael gave Jeremy a funny look.

“I thought Gregory might’ve said something else,” Jeremy replied, shaking his head. “Forget it.”

“Are you alright, Jeremy? You look a bit feverish…” A frown tugged at the corner of Michael’s mouth.

“I’m going to go grab some more towels. And you two will be wanting a dry set of clothes, won’t you?”

“Yeah.” Jeremy nodded quickly.

Henry hummed at them before walking back out of the room.

“I am grateful for both you and Gregory,” Michael said, using the towel to dry the rest of his body. He slowly rose to his feet, finally able to stand on his own.

Jeremy determinedly did not stare. Instead, he wrung water from his hair.

“I would offer you the towel, but I believe it is too wet to be any real help. Seeing as your clothes are also drenched, the best course of action is to wait for Henry to return.”

Jeremy smiled weakly. “Yeah, that’s true.”

Michael stepped out of the tub, hanging the towel back on the rack after he went. Jeremy could admit that the wings looked pretty good on Mike. He’d been weary of it when he’d first seen the wings on Gregory, and he knew that Gregory was defensive about it now. But maybe seeing him help Michael would help.

“Do you need a bandage for your face?” Michael asked, making eye contact with Jeremy through the mirror above the sink.

“Oh, I uh.” Jeremy blinked at him. “It doesn’t… It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” Michael’s mouth twitched. “I understand that me being like this must be unpleasant for you, but that does not mean you do not need assistance with that cut.”

Being like this? Was Michael phrasing things like that on purpose? Was he talking about the fact that he was in his boxers or the fact that he had wings? Jeremy crossed his arms before remembering that his shirt was soaked. He uncrossed them and simply said, “There is no problem. I just don’t need a Band-Aid.”

Michael walked back over, and Jeremy tried to take a step back before remembering he was standing in a bathtub. Trapped, Jeremy stood stiffly as Michael ran a thumb over his scratch. Don’t flinch, he told himself, but it still stung. The cut was pretty deep.

“You likely do need a bandage, despite your claim otherwise,” Michael replied. “I can help, if you need assistance.”

Michael gently wiped blood from Jeremy’s face and went in search of medical supplies. It stung when he cleaned the wound, but Jeremy found himself too fascinated by Michael’s cautious care to really notice. The tiniest furrow in Michael’s eyebrows appeared when he put the bandage on Jeremy’s face, and his hands lingered on Jeremy’s jaw for just a moment too long.

He almost seemed sad when he stepped back from Jeremy. “All better. See?” Michael smiled so quickly Jeremy wondered if he’d imagined the pain in Michael’s eyes.

“Y… yeah. Um. Thanks.” Jeremy touched the bandage, surprised by how big it was. “I didn’t realize the scratch was that big.”

“I still feel terrible for doing that to you. Is there any way I can make it up to you?” Michael asked.

Unable to come up with anything to say other than a request for Michael to kiss him, Jeremy shook his head and turned his attention to Michael’s wings. “Do they still hurt?”

“Not as much as they did,” Michael flexed them experimentally. Jeremy smiled faintly, recalling that Gregory was having immense difficulty controlling his own wings. Perhaps the size made it easier.

Michael made a face. “It appears that moving them still hurts, however.”

“Evan mentioned something about messaging the muscles earlier. He was doing it for Gregory.”

Michael brightened. “I suppose I shall have to ask for Evan’s help with that endeavor then. Thank you for the reminder.”

I could do it for you, Jeremy thought desperately. He didn’t want to just have to leave after everything. This was the most time he’d spent with Michael before, and the guy was just so chill about everything. But being in the same space as him, watching him interact with his brother and Gregory made him want to stay so much longer. Michael Afton was the most compassionate person Jeremy had ever met, and he wanted to be able to help the man who tried so hard to help everyone else.

It didn’t help that Jeremy was also hopelessly in love with him.

As Jeremy opened his mouth to speak, Henry returned with the changes of clothes. Michael turned his attention away from Jeremy to thank Henry and apologize for the water all over the floor, and Jeremy was left to awkwardly collect the pile of bloody clothes on the floor to offer them to Henry.

Henry stared at the rags for a moment, his face paling significantly. “These were Michael’s clothes?”

“Yes.” Michael was separating the clothes to split between himself and Jeremy, and he was hardly focused on Henry. “I could not find a way to safely remove my shirt without causing more pain, so Jeremy helped me cut it off. I am afraid blood does not come out of denim very easily, so my jeans are also a lost cause.”

Brightening, Michael put a bundle of clothing into Jeremy’s arms. “You can change in Charlie’s old room.”

“Why can’t you both change in here?” Henry asked, sounding confused.

Pressure built in Jeremy’s throat as he tried to answer that question. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of himself. Not by any measure at all. He just knew it was dangerous, what he was. People didn’t exactly approve of people like him, after all. Especially not here.

Michael gave Henry a scathing look as tears built up behind Jeremy’s eyes. “Maybe we don’t want to change in the same room.”

Henry blinked in surprise, but he glanced between the two boys for a moment before making his exit. Michael patted Jeremy’s shoulder. “I can go to Charlie’s room instead, if you would prefer to change in here.”

Jeremy still couldn’t speak, so he just nodded. The gentle way Michael nodded back at him filled his body with a strange warmth. A few moments later, Michael was gone, and Jeremy could finally change out of the sopping wet layers he’d been in this whole time.

Half-way through changing, Jeremy noticed that most of the clothes were baggy and easy to layer over each other. There were almost too many options. A jolt ran through him when he considered that Michael had sorted through the clothes. Either Michael was very particular, or he knew.

Hurriedly, Jeremy finished changing and practically ran to the bedroom where Michael said he’d be changing. He basically flung the door open to a startled Mike, who had jeans on but no shirt. “Is something wrong?” Michael asked.

His wings and hair fluffed up, like he’d been expecting a threat, but his expression was one of concern. Jeremy knew he was shaking, knew he wouldn’t be able to speak for a moment, but he stood there and just stared. Why did Michael have to be adorable in everything he did? The way his mouth curled into a frown made half of his mouth seem to vanish, like he was biting on it constantly distracted Jeremy from what he wanted to say.

He let his eyes wander over Michael’s bare torso as he tried to find the words to speak. The worst of his secrets was surely out already, and if Michael figured out his feelings, it would be less painful than him knowing the other secret.

Fascination over the jagged scar across Michael’s chest sprouted in his heart. Jeremy had seen it before, of course. He’d seen it in the bathroom, but he’d been trying not to stare before.

“Jeremy?” Michael looked worried now. “Are you alright?”

Maybe Michael didn’t know. Maybe he just hadn’t grabbed a shirt at all, since they had to be cut specifically for the wings anyway. Jeremy was probably just overreacting. And even if he wasn’t, it seemed that Michael wasn’t going to bring it up. “Uhmm. I just… wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Michael relaxed. “I’m quite alright, Jeremy. I’m not as weak as I was before. The shower certainly helped.”

“You’re um. You’re very fluffy right now.”

“Am I?” Michael ran a hand through his hair, feeling where it stuck up all over the place. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Jeremy cleared his throat awkwardly. “Thanks for talking to Henry back there.”

“It was nothing.” Michael blinked at him, wings twitching. “Gregory did a good job cleaning up.” He gestured at the carpet and the bed.

The bed was made very neatly, corners tucked so much better than Jeremy could do on a good day. There were only faint hints that someone had been bleeding there, and they were only visible because Jeremy was looking for them. “Yeah. He certainly did.”

A fond smile crossed Michael’s face at that. “He’s so sweet.”

Jeremy didn’t really believe that, but he nodded anyway. He didn’t want Michael to stop smiling for anything. It was so much better than his frown in every possible way.

“We should… I um. I think we should probably head back to the living room,” Jeremy said awkwardly.

“Right, yes. I suppose it is almost time for you to head home too.” Michael blinked, like he was shaking himself out of a daydream. “Or maybe you could stay for supper?”

Jeremy smiled. “I would love that.”

Evan was awestruck when he saw his brother’s wings. “They’re so big!”

“Soft too,” Jeremy said, trying to encourage Evan’s excitement.

Gregory made a noise in the back of his throat before saying, “You would know, wouldn’t you?”

Jeremy stared at him, mouth opening and closing without words coming out.

“No softer than yours, I’m sure,” Michael said, trying to keep the peace. There wasn’t even a hint of a blush on his face at Gregory’s words. Were the jokes just going over his head? Maybe Jeremy was reading too much into it.

Shaking his head, Jeremy plopped down on the couch beside Gregory. “What happened to your face?” Gregory asked quietly.

“I wasn’t careful enough,” Jeremy answered, glancing at the two brothers as they talked about Michael’s new wings. “And Mike’s wings pack quite the punch.”

“Oh.” Gregory’s eyes widened with understanding. “That could’ve been bad.”

“You’re telling me, kid.” Jeremy shook his head, taking a sip from his can of Coke. “What were you and Evan up to today?”

“Videogames mostly,” Gregory replied. “Although everything here is so old.”

“Old?” Jeremy wrinkled his nose. “Nah, my parents are worse. You’re probably just picky. A bunch of this stuff is newer than anything my family could afford.”

“Your motorcycle is cool though.”

Jeremy smiled. “It is pretty cool.”

“Can you take me on it sometime?”

The smile faltered slightly. “Uh, I don’t know.”

“C’mon, please? All the stuff here is pretty boring, and I know Evan tries to be fun, but you can only play the same game for so long before it’s lame. And I don’t want to have to tell him it’s lame. It’s awful when he cries.”

Jeremy didn’t know what to make of that. “Maybe we could play a board game or something.”

“I wanna go on your bike sometime.” Gregory stuck out his chin stubbornly. “Or I’m going to tell Mike you have the biggest crush on him and-“

“Okay, okay! I get it. But you’ll have to wear a helmet,” Jeremy said, looking away and tugging at his shirt. “And long pants. Just in case.”

“Okay, Dad.” Gregory rolled his eyes.

“Well, you’re the one who said it’s awful when Evan cries,” Jeremy shot back. “And I’ve already seen how Mike cries, and I don’t want to see that again. No thanks.”

Gregory flinched at that. “I…”

“Not to frighten you, but it can be dangerous.” Jeremy sighed. “There’s only so much you can be safe. Not to quote my mom, but ‘I’d rather you be late than dead.’ It’s just that kind of thing.”

Seeing Gregory’s expression, he softened. “I’m a firm believer in the fact that both of us are going to get lectured by Michael when he finds out. So, when he tries, we’re going to tell him that I already told you all the risks and you still wanted to do it. Unless I’ve changed your mind.”

“No, haven’t changed my mind.” Gregory scooted closer to Jeremy. “I bet I’d survive a crash better than you.”

“No way,” Jeremy laughed. “With the way you’re built? No offense, but you’d be a splatter on the cement.”

“Rude.” Gregory scoffed. Not subtly at all, he tried to steal Jeremy’s Coke from his hand.

Amused, Jeremy let him. Gregory immediately started downing what was left in the can. At that moment, Michael glanced over and gasped. “Gregory! Is that Coke? Are you encouraging this, Jeremy?”

“He took the can out of my hand. I didn’t do anything,” Jeremy smiled cheekily. “Not my fault he’s so fast.”

“Mmmmm,” Gregory squinted skeptically at the can. “This is Coke?”

“Yeah?” Jeremy looked confused. “Why? Does it taste weird to you or something?”

“It’s better than I remember.”

Michael sighed, removing the can from Gregory’s hands. “That is because Coca-Cola has different flavoring in it than you remember.”

“Are you talking about the whole cocaine in Coke thing? Because I thought that was a myth.”

Michael shot Jeremy an exasperated look. “That is not what I am talking about. Anyway, Gregory does not need caffeine in his system at this time of day. He won’t get any sleep at this rate.”

“Whoops?” Jeremy held his hands up in surrender. “Look I-“

“It does not matter.” Michael shot Gregory a meaningful look. “So long as he doesn’t keep Evan up with his extra energy, it should be fine.”

Evan peered at them all from behind the sofa. “How did he even take it from you? I thought you kept a tight grip on those at all times.”

“Caught me by surprise?” Jeremy shifted his weight as Michael gave him a skeptical look. “He’s faster than he looks, I swear.”

Evan snorted, climbing over the back of the sofa, much to Michael’s despair as he said, “Well, that gives him a one-up in physical games I guess.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? I totally crush at Fazblock!” Gregory crossed his arms. “I had more blocks than you did.”

“Gregory, you’re supposed to get rid of the blocks, not keep them on the screen.” Evan shook his head despairingly. “I would’ve explained the rules if you’d asked-“

“It was different than what I’m used to, okay?” Gregory rolled his eyes. “I could totally beat you at Fazzy Kart.”

“I don’t even know what that is,” Evan replied. “I still think you made it up.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

“Did too!”

“Okay, that is enough.” Michael shook his head, smiling faintly. “Gregory did not make it up. Fazzy Kart just has not come out yet.” He ruffled Evan’s hair before walking away with the empty Coke can. “And I have something for you two to do when I get back!”

“A task?” Gregory asked.

“A task.” Evan snorted. “Ah yes, my brother typically assigns me tasks. No, Gregory. He’s sending us to do chores or something. Usually he’s more mean about it though.”

“No one understands my jokes.” Gregory’s wing twitched irritably.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jeremy replied. “He still laughed, even if he didn’t get it. Be nonsensical! Nobody cares as long as you’re funny.”

“That’s a terrible line of logic. I refuse to believe that people willingly follow your example,” Michael said, returning with a sheet of paper. “Evan, Gregory, I am trusting you two to find everything on this list and bring it back here.”

“We don’t have money,” Gregory said, but he still took the list from Michael’s hands. “And aren’t we supposed to stay inside until we figure out what to do about our wings? And wait, is it safe to-“

“You worry too much, Gregory. We can just ask Uncle Henry for help.” Evan peered at the grocery list. “What are you making, Mikey? This looks like spaghetti sauce, but you don’t use half this stuff normally.”

“Wait and see,” Michael said cryptically. His own wings twitched as he spoke, even seeming a tiny bit ruffled.

“With the overabundance of clothes Henry seems to have, maybe he has jackets you can just throw on over the wings or something,” Jeremy said, slowly rising from the couch as Gregory and Evan stood to examine the list closer.

“We can handle this,” Evan said with full confidence. “And we’ll try to be fast so you can get started sooner.”

“Thank you, Evan.” There was a deeper tone of relief in Michael’s voice at that. “My heroes.”

Jeremy smiled wearily at them all. “I should probably get going.” It felt like intruding to stay this long. Sure, they all tried to include him, but Michael probably had other things he planned to do while Evan and Gregory were gone. Perhaps he needed to talk to his uncle more or something. Regardless, Jeremy had overstayed his welcome.

“I thought you said you could stay for supper.” Michael sounded wounded. “Are you feeling alright? Do you need to lie down?”

He pressed his hand against Jeremy’s forehead. “You don’t seem to have a fever.”

“I’m fine, Michael. I just don’t want to overstay my welcome, you know?” Jeremy ducked away from Michael’s hand and kept his gaze on the carpet. “Especially if you’re all going to be busy.”

“I won’t be busy until they get back,” Michael replied as Gregory tugged on Evan’s shirt to lead him away. “And even then, I won’t be too busy to talk. You can sit with me in the kitchen while I cook.”

“Yeah but…” Jeremy hesitated, combing a hand through his hair. “Look, I just don’t want to be in the way.”

“You won’t be,” Michael insisted. He sat down on the sofa where Gregory had been sitting before. Patting the cushion next to him, he waited for Jeremy to sit back down.

When Jeremy sat down, Michael gestured for him to scoot closer. “What are you doing?” Jeremy asked nervously.

“Your hair is a mess,” Michael replied. “I’m going to fix it for you.”

“What do you mean?” Jeremy frowned, patting his hair self-consciously.

“It’s all tangled. That’s going to be a nightmare to brush out tomorrow if you don’t take care of it tonight.”

“Oh.” Jeremy looked away. “It shouldn’t be your responsibility-“

“My wings shouldn’t have been yours,” Michael countered. “Let me do a nice thing for you. Please.”

“I helped with your wings because I wanted to spend time with you. Not because it was a burden, Mike.”

“This isn’t a burden to me either. Let me help. Maybe I want to spend more time with you too.”

Jeremy didn’t have a counter to that, so he reluctantly sighed. “Just… be gentle on it, okay?”

“Of course.” He blinked, seemingly surprised that Jeremy gave in so easily. “I do need to go grab a brush and a comb.”

“Naturally.” Jeremy shifted uncomfortably on the sofa as Michael got up.

What was he even supposed to say to Michael? He hadn’t expected to get this far, and now faced with the opportunity to have a casual conversation with him, Jeremy panicked.

When Michael got back, the hair brush he carried had long strands of dark brown hair in it, and both the brush and the comb were shining with water. “I hope you don’t mind,” Michael said awkwardly. “But I know that hair gets really, really tangled, so I just wanted to make sure I could get the tangles out without hurting you.”

Oh. That was… surprisingly considerate. “And the water is supposed to fix tangles?”

“Better than a dry brush.”

Jeremy just stared. The most he’d been able to do with his hair was to throw it into the world’s worst ponytail when he needed it out of his face. All this talk of the more effective way to brush through his hair without making it hurt stirred something in his chest. There was nothing Michael would do that could possibly hurt more than the way he was currently doing his hair.

Michael sat back down and got to work. It was strange. Jeremy hadn’t had anyone brush his hair in a long time. His mother had been too busy with work to even notice that he needed help with his hair. Or anything really.

“You have really thick hair,” Michael mused softly.

“Yeah. Makes it a real pain sometimes,” Jeremy replied.

Michael was so gentle with it, apologizing softly when the brush scraped his ear or a snag was too rough. Eventually, though, he set the brush aside and started dividing his hair.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you with your hair,” Michael replied as he started braiding it. “I assume you don’t have a hair brush for yourself, or maybe you just don’t have much time to do your hair every day. But at the very least, braiding it back at night prevents most tangles from getting worse.”

“How do you know so much about this stuff, dude?” Jeremy wondered. “Like, you know more about this than I do.”

“I…” Michael hesitated. “Evan’s not my only sibling. I had a sister. Elizabeth. Her hair was more of a nightmare than this.”

“Oh.” Jeremy fidgeted. He didn’t know what to do with that information.

“And, there!” Michael twisted a ponytail into the end of Jeremy’s hair. “Less problems for later, see?”

“Yeah.” Jeremy touched a hand to the braid, smiling softly. “Thanks, man.”

“It’s nothing.”

“But I say it is something. Come here, Mike.”

Michael’s wings fluffed up ever so slightly, but he did as Jeremy asked, unprepared for the tackle-hug Jeremy gave him. He gasped in alarm as they ended up on the floor, but when he looked up at Jeremy, it was with what Jeremy could only describe as adoration. Then he was suddenly pressed completely up against Michael as his wings wrapped around them both.

Of course, that was also the moment Evan and Gregory came back from their shopping trip with the supplies Michael had asked for. Letting Jeremy up, Michael immediately accepted the groceries from Evan and went straight to the kitchen. Gregory and Evan were left staring at Jeremy, who was sitting with a ridiculous grin on his face.

“Might need some help preparing this!” Michael called.

Before any of them could move toward the door, however, Henry walked by to go help Michael. Which left Jeremy to get teased by the two younger boys.

“What was that about?” Evan asked, picking a long blue feather out of Jeremy’s hair.

“What were you doing on the floor?” Gregory asked.

“Mike did my hair,” Jeremy replied, gesturing at the hairbrush that now had long strands of gold intertwined with the brown.

Evan looked thoughtful as he fiddled with the feather. “I didn’t know Mikey knew how to do hair.”

“Didn’t you tell me you had a sister?” Gregory asked, picking a smaller, brown feather from Jeremy’s shirt. “He could’ve done her hair once or twice.”

“Maybe…” Evan didn’t sound very sure. “Mikey wasn’t… I don’t know. Maybe he did. I never knew, though.”

“He did mention it when I asked…” Jeremy said, suddenly embarrassed to know more than Evan.

Evan fiddled with the feather more. “He seems to like you a lot.”

“Mike?” Jeremy asked, even more embarrassed now.

“Yeah. He smiles when he talks to you.”

“Except that one day,” Gregory interrupted. “He came inside and cried.”

“That was something else, I think,” Evan responded. “I think the Nightmares finally got to him.”

“So I take it Mike doesn’t usually talk about his issues then?”

“Not usually.” Evan squirmed, his wings puffing up. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Yeah sure,” Jeremy shook his head and finally got off the floor. “Do you want to try playing Kings in the Corner again?”

“Ugh, that’s so boring,” Gregory replied, but Evan was already rushing off to get the cards.

“I need a second. I’ll be right back,” Jeremy said, slipping into the kitchen to grab another can of Coke.

Michael glanced over from where he was cutting an onion and just sighed. “Jeremy-“

“I know, I know. It’s bad for me or whatever. But I need it, okay?” Jeremy took a long swig from the can. “Better than some habits.”

“Still…”

“It’s fine dude. Cut your onion or whatever.”

Henry said something that Jeremy didn’t catch as he rushed back to the living room. “Okay, are we ready to start?”

“This game is stupid,” Gregory grumbled. He was holding his seven cards, and Evan had already laid out the board.

“I dealt, so Gregory goes first,” Evan replied, ignoring Gregory’s comment.

“Lucky,” Jeremy said, eyeing the board.

“I don’t even know how to play,” Gregory complained. “This game is for old people.”

“I guess we’re old then.” Jeremy’s eyes twinkled. “You have to play a card from your hand onto one of those four cards.” He pointed at the two of diamonds, the king of spades, the four of diamonds, and the seven of diamonds respectively. “You want it to be a lower rank, or less points than the card on the stack. And it’s gotta be the opposite color.”

“Oh.” Gregory stared at his hand for a moment.

“You gotta tell him about the kings, Jeremy.” Evan shook his head. “If there’s a king, you can move it into the spaces between the four other cards, and put a new foundation card down.”

“Huh.” Gregory frowned. “This is too confusing.”

“It really isn’t,” Jeremy laughed, taking another sip from his Coke. “If you really want, you can add your cards back to the foundation pile and watch me and Evan play a game.”

“I’m just going to do that.” Gregory stuck his cards back in the bigger stack.

“Suits don’t matter,” Evan said helpfully. “Only color does.”

Jeremy set off to move the king, and the game begun. Evan went out on his first turn.

“Okay, that was a bad example,” Evan said with a grin.

“You didn’t shuffle very well,” Jeremy said accusingly.  “That was- arghhh. We’re playing another game so Gregory can actually see how the game works.”

“Are we doing points?” Evan said innocently.

“We will once Gregory joins in,” Jeremy replied, collecting the cards from the board. “These are warm-up rounds.”

“Riiiiight,” Gregory replied with an amused snort. “You just got destroyed.”

“Thank you for the obvious and accurate commentary, Gregory.” Jeremy rolled his eyes.

When he flipped the four cards over, three of them were kings. Jeremy let out an indignant noise as Gregory burst out laughing and Evan grinned at the board. Just like that, he was down to one card. Jeremy scowled at his own cards as it became his turn.

“All four kings on the board in the first turn,” he grumbled.

“Now who’s bad at shuffling?” Evan replied, watching Jeremy’s hand drop to three cards.

“Oh, shut up.”

Evan snickered as it became his turn. “I almost wonder if you were trying to let me win.” He took the ace of diamonds and placed it on the two of clubs that Jeremy had missed during his turn. “Do you have the hang of it yet, Gregory? We may need a third player or this are going to be some very quick games.”

“Ha ha.” Jeremy said as Evan gathered up the cards again. “I’m just used to people who aren’t paying attention nearly as much as you do.”

“I’m just playing the game,” Evan said with a cheeky grin. “You had a six of spades in your hand? You could’ve played that on the seven-“

“I don’t want to hear it!” Jeremy sighed, exaggerating his grief as he drank from his can. “You have eyes like a hawk.”

Evan just hummed at that, his eyes twinkling as he shuffled the cards again. “What do you say, Gregory? Want to try and give it another shot?”

“Sure. Can’t be any worse than Jeremy, right?”

“Alright, I get it.” Jeremy shook his head. “I guess this game isn’t as awful as you want to claim it is, huh?”

“We’ll see.”

Evan pulled out a baggy filled with little red chips and shook it for a moment. “I didn’t have a chance to grab paper, so we can just play with chips, right?”

“Let’s give Gregory one trial run first,” Jeremy said as Gregory stared blankly at the chip bag. “Let him get a feel for the game.”

Gregory’s first round went okay. He managed to play half his cards in the first go, but he failed to notice that he could’ve moved the king to the corner right away, and Jeremy took advantage of that. Humming to himself, Jeremy quickly went through his turn and waited for Evan.

“That is absurd,” Gregory said, watching Evan put down cards and move piles around rapidly. “There’s no way you’re not cheating.”

“It’s all natural, Gregory,” Evan said cheerfully. “You’re just mad because I’m better at games than you are.”

“Grrrrrr….” Gregory scowled as Evan tapped his own card against the table. He put down his one card and waited for Jeremy to go.

Adding another person really did slow down the game a lot, Jeremy thought to himself. This was the first round someone had actually had to draw a card. Evan hummed, but he also needed to draw a card. Unlike Jeremy, however, Evan couldn’t play his. Finally, the game was even again.

Gregory scowled at his cards. “What do I do if I can’t play?”

“Draw,” Jeremy said. “We’ve both done it.”

Grumbling, Gregory drew a card. He brightened as he realized he could play it, and then it was Jeremy’s turn. Jeremy sighed in relief as he was able to play a card on Gregory’s queen, and then move a ten on top of that. Moment of truth, he thought to himself as Evan studied his hand. Michael’s brother shook his head and drew another card. And promptly played it.

Gregory and Jeremy both groaned at that. “See, but now things get interesting,” Evan said cheerfully. “We’ve all been drawing cards and actually have to pay attention to the board.”

“Don’t you always have to pay attention to the board?” Gregory asked as he drew another card. “Ugh.”

“Depends on how close,” Jeremy said smugly, laying down his one card. “I win this round.”

Evan sighed wearily, but he said nothing as Jeremy collected the cards to shove them at Gregory. “Your turn to shuffle.”

Gregory pushed the cards back at Jeremy. “I don’t know how.”

“I guess I can do it for you. But you’re still dealing, alright? Seven cards to each of us.”

Gregory nodded as Jeremy shuffled, and Evan quickly explained how chips worked. Everyone put one chip in at the beginning. Then, when you drew a card, you’d put another chip in. Each card at the end of the game still in your hand was another chip, except for kings. Kings were ten chips.

They all put one chip in the middle as Gregory passed out cards.

“Ready for your first real round, Gregory?” Jeremy asked, looking over his cards.

Gregory huffed, but he nodded anyway. “This is still dumb.”

“What if we made it a bit more fun?” Evan asked. “I’ll put in this feather.” He held up the blue feather he’d picked out of Jeremy’s hair.

“We’re playing for feathers?” Gregory asked. “But we both have feathers.”

“Not just any feathers. Michael’s feathers. I know him better than you do, trust me. He wouldn’t just give those away.”

Gregory considered it for a moment as Jeremy bit his lip. It seemed plenty easy to get feathers in his opinion. Michael shed two of them while Jeremy hugged him before. “Deal. I’ll put in this one.”

Gregory set the brown feather on top of the three chips. Evan did the same with the blue feather. Both of them glanced at Jeremy expectantly.

“I don’t have any. You both took those from me in the first place.” Jeremy rolled his eyes. The feathers were cool, though.

He kind of wished he had some of his own, maybe to braid through his hair or something. But that required winning this game. And since Evan was really good at Kings in the Corner, and also used all the chips in the box, it was really unlikely that he’d win them at the end.

“How about…” Jeremy put twenty more chips in the pot. “I know it doesn’t balance out at all, but you two seem to really want those feathers.”

Evan grinned, and so, the game began.

Gregory surprised them all by nearly going out in his first turn, but Evan still won the first game. They played in relative silence, too busy concentrating to hold a proper conversation. Evan crushed them in the first few rounds, but Gregory eventually got a win when Evan had 6 cards in his hand, resulting in a somewhat decent counter-balance.

It did nothing for Jeremy though. He looked nervously at his dwindling pile of chips every time the game ended and knew it was very unlikely that he’d win. It wasn’t impossible, sure, but it was incredibly unlikely.

“This is eight, Gregory,” Evan said absently, after Jeremy had already played his first turn. “We can play it, but you should pay better attention.”

Jeremy bit his lip at that. He was losing really bad. He really needed a win, and he needed one where the other two were struggling. Accidentally starting a round on eight cards was not a great way to start that.

“How did you even notice that?” Gregory asked.

“Eight feels thicker than seven.”

“How much do you play cards? Jeez,” Jeremy asked as it became Gregory’s turn.

“Enough,” Evan said with an amused smile. “I usually play alone.”

“This doesn’t feel like a game you can play alone,” Gregory muttered.

“You can. It’s just not as fun. But I don’t play this,” Evan said as Jeremy had to draw yet again. “I play Solitare.”

“Right, silly me.” Gregory shook his head. “Dude, how are you losing the game you suggested?”

“It takes a lot of luck, Gregory.” Jeremy sighed, having emptied his can of Coke long ago. “I’ve already accepted my fate. Now it’s just a matter of wondering who wins overall.”

They all fell quiet again as they settled back into their concentration. A few tense rounds went by as they all drew cards. When Evan finally played a card, Jeremy breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he’d last another round.

Or… maybe not. It was a close thing, that balance between drawing and playing. “Are we going to go through the whole deck?” Gregory eventually wondered.

“Maybe,” Jeremy replied wearily.

The pot was massive at this point. Evan’s brow was continuously furrowed, and even his wings were stiff with concentration. There’s no strategy that trumps the good cards being at the bottom of the deck, Jeremy thought to himself with grim amusement.

“Ha!” Gregory shouted his delight as he finally laid his last card.

Jeremy sighed sorrowfully as he glanced at his four chips. He would only have two left for another game after this. If only it had been Jeremy who’d drawn the card to end the game.

“I don’t even remember who shuffled that one,” Jeremy said as Gregory gathered the pot.

“It was Gregory. He started us with eight cards,” Evan replied. “You shuffle next.”

“I’m not going to make it through this game,” Jeremy muttered.

“Then we’ll just play it out, and you can be done after,” Evan shrugged. “Who knows, maybe you’ll win?”

“For every draw you have that you can’t play, I’ll put in a chip,” Gregory offered as Jeremy put his last chip in the pot. “It’ll keep things fair.”

“I’m sure,” Jeremy muttered.

“Awww, you are a grumpy old man. Evan look! He’s so grumpy.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

Evan put his last card down, and Jeremy shook his head. “I’m out. Good luck, Gregory.”

He wondered what Michael and Henry were up to in the kitchen. It had been two hours of this, after all. Surely preparing a meal wouldn’t take that long, especially since Evan implied Michael was making spaghetti.

“Okay, I gotta know. What spaghetti takes three hours to make?” Jeremy said, sitting down at the kitchen table with Henry.

“It’s not the spaghetti that takes so long,” Michael replied from the stove. “It’s the sauce.”

“But why?”

“The flavor has to soak in from the leaves.” Michael shrugged, moving to sit down with them. “What were you playing in there?”

“Cards.” Jeremy shrugged. “Gregory said it was for old people.”

“Then he must have never played cards before,” Henry commented.

“Maybe it’s his age,” Michael suggested.

“Nah. Your brother got really into it. He’s been beating both of us.”

“THAT’S SO STUPID!!!” Gregory shouted from the other room.

Evan laughed and said something in response, as they all glanced toward the hallway.

“No way,” Gregory said, his voice still projecting from the other room. “That’s so stupid!”

“I think the sauce is about done,” Michael said, rising from his seat again. “I should probably begin on the actual spaghetti.”

“I appreciate you deciding to cook for us, Michael,” Henry said. “And not that I’m complaining about your food, but this seems more complicated than some of the other stuff you’ve made.”

Michael just blinked at him, filling a pot with water. “It’s just spaghetti.”

Gregory and Evan walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. “It smells great in here,” Evan said.

Michael glanced at his brother and at Gregory for a moment. “Who won?”

“Evan,” Gregory grumbled crossing his arms. “But he cheats.”

“I do not! Withholding cards on my turn is within the rules of the game. Just because it means you have to draw more doesn’t mean it’s cheating!” Evan argued.

“He’s right, Gregory. If he’s withholding cards, it’s still a risk to him since you can easily draw a card at any moment and win the game yourself. There’s a reason it’s ten chips if you’re holding a king at the end of the game.”

“Hmph,” Gregory scowled.

“Jeremy, do you need a new bandage for your face?” Henry asked as Gregory and Evan glared at each other from across the table.

“What? Oh, I’m sure it’s fine.” Jeremy hadn’t realized that the edge of his bandage was peeling off.

“We’ll get that taken care of later,” Henry said. “Were you planning on staying over tonight?”

“I…” Jeremy glanced around the room. “I don’t know.”

“If you decide to stay, let me know so I can tell your parents,” Henry replied, seemingly satisfied. “And would you like another can of Coca-Cola?”

“Yes please.”

“Don’t encourage his addiction, Henry.” Michael crossed his arms as he leaned against the counter.

Jeremy responded by sticking his tongue out at Michael. Michael shook his head and rolled his eyes, but Jeremy saw a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Can I have one too?” Gregory asked.

“Absolutely not,” Michael replied. His wings twitched slightly. “You’re done with caffeine for the rest of the night. If you’re this loud after half a can, I shudder to think of what would happen if you got a full can of Coke.”

“You’re not my mom,” Gregory grumbled.

Jeremy’s mouth twitched. “He tries to act like it though, doesn’t he?”

Michael made an indignant noise as Gregory burst out laughing. Evan giggled too, adding, “Mama bird Mike.”

All three of them broke into bad laughing fits at that one. Henry and Michael just exchanged an exasperated look as Michael stirred the spaghetti. “I can act like it if you really want me to,” Michael eventually said. “But I don’t think you’d like the response, seeing as you two are baby birds in this analogy.”

“What do you mean?” Gregory asked, bewildered.

“I think what he’s getting at,” Jeremy said, amusement glinting in his eye, “is that mother birds regurgitate food into their chicks mouths.”

“Ewwwww,” Gregory gagged.

Evan snorted. “Mikey wouldn’t do that.”

“Wouldn’t I?” Michael raised an eyebrow. “I’ve certainly done worse.”

Evan froze at that. He seemed to be considering Michael’s point. “He totally would…” Evan sounded horrified.

“And with that terrible mental image, it seems that the spaghetti is done!” Henry said, putting a can of Coke in front of Jeremy before going to fetch everyone plates.

“I just need to strain the noodles, and we’re all set,” Michael said. “Could you grab the strainer please?”

Henry nodded and retrieved the strainer. Evan hummed to himself as he fiddled with the two feathers he’d won in the card game. Gregory said nothing, but Jeremy could tell it he was still bitter from his loss. Surely Michael wouldn’t be unwilling to give up feathers if they asked, Jeremy thought to himself. Maybe he’d be uncomfortable with the idea, but if Gregory said how much he really wanted them, Jeremy was sure Michael would give in eventually.

“It’s going to be hot.” Michael warned, carrying the pot of spaghetti to the table.

Henry quickly placed a potholder beneath it, and Michael went back to retrieve the sauce for the spaghetti. “Do you want to get cups out, Evan?”

Evan nodded and got up from his spot. “Gregory, you can get the plates.”

The whole group cycled around the kitchen like a little family, and Jeremy felt a little self-conscious about his place in everything, so he went and grabbed forks for everyone. It was the least he could do.

Michael dished out the food, putting just enough sauce on their spaghetti that they could avoid it if they wanted to. All of them were a little skeptical of the meal, but they all trusted that Michael knew what he was doing. Gregory and Evan both seemed startled by the taste, but Henry simply raised an eyebrow as he took a bite. Michael didn’t seem particularly concerned about their reaction, though.

He was too busy observing Jeremy when he tried it.

It was… spicier than he expected. Jeremy glanced at Michael, suddenly suspicious of him. Michael blinked at him, casually taking a bite of his own spaghetti. Jeremy glanced at him again before moving his plate to the saucepan full of spaghetti sauce and adding more to his plate.

Michael’s slow smile made Jeremy feel even more confident about his decision. Somehow, Michael had figured him out yet again, almost without effort. Jeremy stuck another forkful in his mouth and smiled back at him.

“Gregory, slow down. You’re going to make yourself sick,” Evan said.

“It’f, fine.” Gregory swallowed hard.

“Careful you don’t choke,” Henry said warningly.

Gregory set his fork down quietly, his eyes watering. He coughed a little bit, causing Michael to turn to him with concern. “Gregory? Are you alright?”

Gregory fanned himself, and Jeremy immediately figured out what was going on. “Too spicy for you? You barely had any!” He shook his head and poured Gregory a glass of milk. “Drink this. It’ll help.”

Gregory eagerly took the glass, draining it in less than a minute. “Mmmmm.”

The rest of the meal went in relative silence, with Evan and Henry occasionally teasing Gregory for eating too fast and being unable to handle spicy food. Michael seemed oblivious to the main conversation, smiling softly to himself.

Jeremy knew he was staring, but he figured it wouldn’t be the biggest deal. Plenty of people stared at their friends, right? At the way they twisted spaghetti noodles onto their forks and brought their forks to their mouths. At the way their eyes glowed with joy at making something new successfully.

Michael caught his eye, and the smile widened. Jeremy felt himself smiling back easily. He’d already finished his food, and Evan and Gregory had finished half the spaghetti by themselves. There wouldn’t be many leftovers anyway.

Henry was the first to move from the table. He collected plates from everyone to take to the sink. When Michael moved to help, Henry waved him off, insisting that since Michael made the meal, he shouldn’t have to clean it up, with a meaningful look toward Evan and Gregory. He stopped Jeremy when he tried to get up too, insisting that guests shouldn’t need to help.

“But I thought we were guests,” Gregory grumbled when Evan tapped his arm to help him get up.

“Jeremy, that bandage really does need to be changed before you go,” Henry said quietly, gathering the leftovers into different containers.

“I can help him with it,” Michael said.

“Michael, you’ve done enough today. Especially with how you were feeling this morning-“

“I can help,” Michael interjected stubbornly.

Jeremy raised a confused eyebrow at the way Michael’s wings and hair ruffled.

“You need rest,” Henry said in a tone that brokered no argument.

Still, Michael persisted, the feathers now completely refusing to lay flat. Jeremy wondered how this could possibly be something he’d need to be so defensive about. “Hey, maybe Henry’s right. You have done a lot today.”

Michael scowled at that, and he grabbed Jeremy’s arm and practically dragged him out of his chair.

“What- Hey!” Jeremy stumbled into Micheal, expecting him to apologize or something.

“There’s the old Mike,” Evan mumbled quietly.

Michael’s face was right in front of Jeremy’s as he spoke. “I know my limits.”

“Do you?” Gregory challenged. He didn’t seem frightened in the slightest, which was very different from the atmosphere surrounding Michael at that moment. “To me it seems like you keep going until you drop. Maybe you should just get rid of that chip on your shoulder and let someone else handle it for once!”

“Like you did?” Michael snapped, and at that, Gregory actually flinched. “Sometimes, you can’t trust that help will come, Gregory. You should know that better than anyone.”

Gregory’s grip on the plate in his hands tightened. “Yeah, well, I didn’t have a family who took care of me like you do! So just suck it up.” Jeremy heard tears behind those words, and Evan mumbled something gently to him and tried to get him to turn his back on Michael.

That seemed to break something in Michael’s resilience. His wings twitched, and he let go of Jeremy’s shirt. “Right. Sorry.” He sounded just as torn as Gregory. “I…”

Jeremy figured nothing would be helped by Michael sticking around in the kitchen, so he tentatively put a hand to Michael’s shoulder. “Hey, you can help with my bandage. Maybe just tell me how to put it on so I do it right tomorrow morning, yeah?”

“So you aren’t staying then?” Henry asked, looking worriedly between the four boys.

Michael’s ashen expression was not particularly reassuring. “No, I mean. If it’s okay for me to stay, I plan to. I just… Maybe it should be my responsibility to fix that?” Jeremy gestured at the scratch on his face. “Seems like all I’m doing here is making more messes anyway. Might as well try to clean one up myself, right?”

Henry frowned but he said nothing.

Jeremy leaned close to Michael’s ear. “Come on then.”

“I didn’t mean to… I hurt his feelings,” Michael mumbled as he mechanically peeled the rest of the bandage away from Jeremy’s face to wipe at the scratch with a wet cloth.

“Energy was running high. Maybe you are a bit more overwhelmed then you thought? Frayed nerves break way for anger sometimes. Or so I’ve heard.”

“I still shouldn’t have done that.” Michael couldn’t even look Jeremy in the eye. He was too distraught.

“Why did you get so defensive, if you don’t mind me asking? And I’m not just talking about Gregory. You were adamant about helping me with my bandage.”

“I just…” Michael hesitated. “I haven’t had a chance to see you in days, and I wanted to get every moment I could?”

“An afternoon together wasn’t enough?” Jeremy teased, even though he knew exactly how Michael was feeling. “Look, that’s okay, Mike. But you gotta take care of yourself too.”

“Yeah, but-“

“What do you want? I know you think you have to help everybody all the time, but you’ve gotta have desires too, right?”

“Maybe I don’t deserve to have my desires realized,” Michael replied. He still wasn’t looking at Jeremy. “Maybe I’m just a rotten person who doesn’t deserve joy or anything that doesn’t directly benefit anybody else.”

“Michael Afton.” Jeremy said, trying to sound stern. “You are a human being just like everyone else. We all make mistakes. And you sound like you’re trying to atone for yours. I don’t know about you, but someone who tries to learn from their mistakes sounds like someone who deserves to have what they want every now and again.”

Michael completely froze at that. When he met Jeremy’s eyes, he looked utterly shattered. “I…” He swallowed. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“That’s okay, Mike. No one is asking you to do everything-“

“No, you don’t understand.” His voice was hardly a whisper. “I’ve… That scolding… You’ve said that to me before.”

“I have?”

Michael nodded mutely. “It was right before…” His wings stretched their full length as Michael squeezed his eyes shut. “I can’t.”

“What can’t you do, Michael?” Jeremy asked softly.

A pained noise rumbled in Michael’s throat, and he dropped the cloth, yanking Jeremy forward by his shirt. Their mouths crashed together, and all Jeremy could think was finally. His own hands went behind Michael’s shoulders, and he gently guided the wings back into a folded position before stroking them gently.

He didn’t want to stop kissing Michael. It was freeing and exhilarating at the same time. Michael tasted like bubble gum and smelled like clean laundry. He was the weirdest man Jeremy had ever met, but maybe that was what made him so alluring. Or maybe it was something else. Something about all this just seemed so… right.

When Michael broke away, Jeremy tried to follow. Michael looked at him fondly and laughed. “I thought you said I needed to take care of myself.”

“I can’t be that addicting,” Jeremy said impulsively.

Michael snorted. “I need air, Jeremy. We were both going to pass out if we kept that up.”

“Can we do it again?” Jeremy didn’t care about air. He just wanted to be close to Michael, wanted to make him smile, wanted to make him laugh.

Michael laughed again, a brilliant sound, before Jeremy pressed their lips back together. It was completely perfect.

[sammyluvr]

worship you — sam winchester ꒦꒷ kinktober day nine ; priest kink

cw : gn!afab!reader, smut, softdom!sam, oral (reader receiving), religious metaphors, pet names (baby, honey), 1.5K words. MDNI !!! 18+ ONLY.

sam won’t tell you this now—he’d barely admit it to himself at first—but as he put on that black suit and white collar this morning, he hoped it would turn you on. only, he didn’t really think that it would. he figured that, however hot it might be, that sort of thing tends to be overexaggerated in media or online platforms, so he pushed the thought aside in favor of focusing on the case.

then you’d stepped out of the bathroom after brushing your teeth and when your gaze snagged on his cleanly dressed form, you didn’t even attempt to hide the way your eyes raked over him. he had thought in the moment that he could get drunk off the way you looked at him alone, surprised and yeah, really damn turned on. 

but before either of you could get a word in, dean was rushing sam out the door, leaving you to research while they were off to interview witnesses.

the wait was absolutely worth it, because now he has you all to himself, pretty much desperate after several distracted hours of research, during which the only thing you could think of was how hot he looks in that suit.

when he walks through the motel door without dean in tow behind, sam indulges you when you practically throw yourself at him. he catches you easily in his arms, grasping your hips when you run your hands up his chest and kiss him hard. your hold, not gentle at all, smoothes up to the sides of his neck and he feels the stiff clerical collar pressing into his skin.

of course, he kisses back with just as much enthusiasm. he’s had that look on your face from this morning stuck in his head all day, and now he’s ready to see your features contorted with bliss. he’s been thinking far too much about all the ways he could drive you crazy to be considered focused on this case.

he pleases you by softly groaning into your mouth as you push your tongue past his lips, but he doesn’t let you take and take for all that long. instead, he pulls away and you’re already short of breath, chasing his lips with yours.

“wait a minute, baby,” he hushes softly, voice a little strained.

“don’t wanna wait,” you protest, trying not to sound whiny but failing a bit, “been waiting for you all day.” he holds back a grin at that, running his big hands up and down your sides.

“i know, i know,” he murmurs, “just… just slow down a second.” he tips his head into the crook of your neck, barely ghosting his lips over your skin. “dean’ll be gone a while. we’ve got time.” his hot breath tickles your skin and you move a hand to grip his shoulder. sam speaks all soft and reassuring, but you can hear that edge to his voice. you’re not sure why he’s trying to take it slow, and it takes him a minute to figure it out himself.

but when you tangle a hand in his hair and give an unconscious tug at the feeling of his lips pressing sweetly into your neck, he realizes.

“c’mon,” you urge, impatiently slipping a hand under his suit jacket and trying to push it off his shoulder. he stops you immediately, fingers wrapping around your forearm and pulling it away from his body.

he lifts his head to look at you, to take in your expression of sweet desperation. “not yet,” he scolds gently. sam debates explaining, but sometimes he likes to test your willingness to go along with him.

you want something, anything. there are times where you can be patient, where you’ll follow along without a single protest no matter how needy you are, but this is not one of those times. maybe it’s the outfit, the lack of sleep from last night, or the fact that you haven’t been able to have sam like this in too long because of hunts. most likely it’s everything working in tandem to make you so impatient.

so you put your all into testing his resolve, pushing his most sensitive buttons. you give his hair a little tug and you see the way it makes his upper lip twitch a bit, like he’s holding back a groan or soft growl. then you shift the arm in his hold to tangle your fingers through his and look at him all soft and sweet and loving. and because you need it so bad, you trail your hand down his torso as you begin to slowly sink to your knees. it feels like you have the right to tease him a little too now.

but he stops you, even when his eyes betray how much he wants this too. he slots a hand under your armpit and effortlessly pulls you right back up.

“nuh-uh,” he shakes his head, then reaches up to brush his thumb over your cheekbone. his voice is surprisingly still soft and sweet as he speaks. clearly, he wants something specific, and other days you might’ve really pushed his patience by now. “c’mon, honey. need you to listen to me right now, promise you’ll like it.” that pacifies you. he can’t help but smirk at how quickly he sees your body shift in reaction to his words. now, you’re perfectly pliable in his hands and he knows it instantly. “there we go,” he murmurs, dipping his head back into the curve of your neck.

slowly, he kisses down your neck all while he backs you into the bed. his hands roam, softly palming at your sides, slipping under your shirt and touching your skin like it’s holy. when he pulls your shirt fully off and lays you out on the bed for him, he kisses down your body and praises your beauty like he worships you.

so good for me. you’re so good for me. you’re so beautiful, you’re perfect. always so perfect for me. can’t get enough of you, baby.

and then it hits you. that’s exactly what he’s doing; he’s worshipping you, dressed like a holy man who’s supposed to be clean and pure in the eyes of god. but you’re his perverted deity and your body is the altar at which he kneels.

then he really is kneeling, just how he knows you’d want to see him, pulling you down to the edge of the bed by your ankles.

“sam,” you gasp, scrambling to sit up so you can see him there. “god,” you whisper, ready to start begging him to taste you now. you gulp and your chest heaves with breath; you’re sure that the sight of him kneeling between your legs in that crisp suit and white collar will be the last thing you see before you die, because it’s so filthy and clean and perfect all at once that you think it could end you. your thighs tense and your clothed pussy clenches around nothing.

his fingers slip under the waistband of your pants and underwear and he doesn’t have to even start tugging before you’re leaning back on your palms and lifting your hips. you know why he’s going so damn slow, with his fingers dragging along the length of your legs, and his eyes taking in the sweet sight of you like you’re the epitome of beauty. you just can’t help but squirm a little, absolutely desperate for something more.

“please, sam,” you pant, your voice a soft whine.

“i know,” he whispers, soothing you with his big, idolizing hands on your thighs.

then finally, he’s leaning forward, bumping your clit with his perfect nose before his flattened tongue swipes up your slit, intent on soaking up every bit of your sweet wetness that he can in just one movement. you moan lowly, desperately, and sam is high off your taste in less than seconds.

sam reveres you with his tongue. he’s agonizingly slow, perfectly dedicated, absolutely faithful to you and your utter pleasure. his moans and murmured praises into your warmth are prayers and the act is a devotion that sam will perform any day. every day, because just sundays would never be enough. every day is a holy day so long as he gets to put his mouth on your begging cunt.

despite how purposeful and slow he is today, he’s still as messy as ever. he slurps at your pussy and suckles on your clit and makes the lewdest sounds that you’ve ever heard. he drinks up your pleasured noises like he drinks up your wetness.

you were wrong before, because this is the sight that will kill you. now, his arms are hooked around your thighs to keep you in place as he makes you feels so good that you tremble. and he doesn’t look clean, not at all, not anymore. his hair is tousled and roughed up from your hand in his hair, half of his face, from the tip of his nose down to his chin, is covered in a shiny coating of your slick, and that damn collar. in all of his eagerness to eat you out like you’re the only god he’ll ever believe in, the collar has come loose, laying crooked against his neck, it’s purity ruined.

sam gives you that small death, your devotee brings you to heaven. when you cum into his mouth, almost embarrassingly fast, sam thinks he’ll have to keep the collar on when he fucks you.

TAGLIST

⟢ SPN; general (all supernatural fics, including nsfw so your age must be 18+ and visible on your blog) : @toadspondofwhimsy ; @mxltifxnd0m ; @bloodysammy ; @angelicjackles ; @ohsc ; @chevroletdean ; @prentissluvr .

⟢ kinktober : @this-is-me19 ; @ponygyatt ; @tranquilitybasegrunge ; @anu-piyakya97 ; @yeyrpp2 ; @maeve-24 ; @i-luvsang .

send an ask / dm to be added !

[voguesriot]

NOBODY’S BUSINESS ✹ luke castellan

part one

( summary ) social media au where luke’s sudden spike in confidence turns a few heads, including the head of your ex who just loves to jump in other people’s business

( pairing ) luke castellan x fem aphrodite counsellor!reader , mentions of ex bf! hephaestus camper x reader

( notes ) this feels a bit rushed bcs i’m sick rn but i hope you guys enjoy anyway!!

♫ American Teenager by Ethel Cain

♡ liked by maxwalsh , silenabeauregard , and others

yourusername proof that percy doesn’t actually hate luke

seaweedbrain hey girlie!!! can you take this down like immediately?? not to sound to mean or anything but i can and will find you 😇

yourusername you’re such a cutie perce

seaweedbrain kys

sarahdawson totally wasn’t held at gunpoint for that last pic guys no need to worry

connorstroll we weren’t worrying but thanks anyway ig

sarahdawson sleep with one eye open.

lukecastellan 2/10 post

yourusername sorry for messing with your tough guy image 😔

lukecastellan actually it only loses points bcs there’s no pics of you

chrisrodriguez WOAHHHHHHH

sarahdawson HIS BALLS FINALLY DROPPED

clarisselarue bit sad to know they weren’t completely crushed after the red team kicked their ass icl

yourusername oh trust they were all whining about it the second i put away the camera

clarisselarue good.

GROUPCHAT — chb’s finest

clarisselarue: y/n what is max doing in your likes…

sarahdawson: HES WHAT

sarahdawson: oh he’s brave

yourusername: IDK HE JUST APPEARED

yourusername: like a bug

seaweedbrain: or a rat

yourusername: that too

lukecastellan: he’s on his way for training with me rn so i’ll go extra hard on him

silenabeauregard: homoerotic subtext goes crazy

yourusername: thanks luke but really you don’t need to do that

yourusername: like i’m over him now and i just want to forget about him altogether

lukecastellan: he deserves a hard time for what he did to you anyway

lukecastellan: you deserve way better than that

lukecastellan: i mean anyone would

seaweedbrain: great save bro

lukecastellan removed seaweedbrain.

sarahdawson: oh you took that one personally

DIRECT MESSAGES

clarisselarue: ok when did you get game

lukecastellan: idk what you’re talking about

clarisselarue: oh please spare me i’ve had to watch you make googoo eyes for the past two years you can’t lie you’re way out of this one

lukecastellan: seriously idk what you’re talking about clarisse

clairsselarue: ok fine whatever but HYPOTHETICALLY if you were to try anything with my girl i want you to know that i approve but trust if you go a toe out of line then you will be dealt with

read.

♫ My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski

♡ liked by drewtanaka, hazellevesque , and others

[ tagged: sarahdawson ]

yourusername you’re the only thing i’ll ever thank a man for

yourusername thanks max

this comment was deleted.

sarahdawson I SAW THAT COMMENT GIRL THAT WAS BRAVE

drewtanaka surprised sar isn’t screaming for photo creds for the second slide

sarahdawson bcs i didn’t take it……..

silenabeauregard WOAH WHAT

pipermclean yourusername hey sis can we have a chat please

yourusername nope i’m doing cabin checks rn #counsellorissues

wisegirll i’m doing cabin checks rn though???

silenabeauregard the plot thickens

lukecastellan glad to see you listened to my advice

yourusername felt bad keeping my beauty from everyone

lukecastellan it was a rough time without it

groverunderwood chrisrodriguez now THESE are moves

chrisrodriguez LOOK AT MY BOY GO gods is this what normal parents feel when their kids go to college

maxwalsh nice earrings

this comment was deleted.

seaweedbrain we all saw that comment right…

clarisselarue yes.

DIRECT MESSAGES

maxwalsh: hey can we please talk

yourusername: no

maxwalsh: please babe cmon you didn’t even hear me out

yourusername: because you tried to kiss sarah you fucking asshole

maxwalsh: no it wasn’t like that you don’t get it

maxwalsh: look can you just meet me by our old spot and i can explain everything

yourusername: no

maxwalsh: babe you’re not acting like yourself

yourusername: bcs it’s not her, she’s asleep rn and she’s not your “babe”

maxwalsh: who tf is this???

yourusername: doesn’t matter

yourusername blocked maxwalsh.

lukecastellan posted to their story!

SARAHDAWSON replied to your story

sarahdawson: WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH SLOW YOUR ROLL WHAT

CLAIRSSELARUE replied to your story

clairsselarue: “idk what you’re talking abt clarisse” oh i hate you so bad

SILENABEAUREGARD replied to your story

silenabeauregard: i’d know that silhouette anywhere…

CHRISRODRIGUEZ replied to your story

chrisrodriguez: i’m a bit hurt i wasn’t told in depth about this before but i’m too proud to pay attention to it GOOD FOR YOU MAN

MAXWALSH replied to your story

maxwalsh: so it was you who had her phone the other day

maxwalsh: wtf man

lukecastellan: womp womp

lukecastellan: you snooze you lose and you lost big time

♫ Nobody’s Business by Rihanna, Chris Brown

♡ liked by jasongrace , racheledare , and others

[ tagged: yourusername ]

lukecastellan and it ain’t what??

yourusername AND IT AIN’T NOBODY’S BUSINESS

clarisselarue ok edward cullen why are you eating her neck like that

silenabeauregard everyone i took the hammock pic thank me please 🙏😇

yourusername thank you beautiful angel

seaweedbrain cute i guess…….

chrisrodriguez I ALWAYS HAD FAITH IN YOU BRO EVEN WHEN EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT YOU WERE A LOSER WITH NO GAME, I STAYED ROOTING FOR YOU

lukecastellan appreciate you bro

lukecastellan wait people said that about me???

wisegirll my favs 😭🫶

yourusername AWE ILY ANNIE

seaweedbrain oh i’m just dirt to you then? chill.

wisegirll you’re so dramatic percy

seaweedbrain oh so mental health matters until I’M the one hurt? cool.

lukecastellan and y’all were saying i had no game

seaweedbrain okay luke see that’s just not funny because your dad literally dances on a revolving stage for a living

lukecastellan had to bring out the dad jokes because you know i’m right?

seaweedbrain why is your old age pension ass beefing with me instead of talking to ur girlfriend… weird behaviour

sarahdawson too cute i fear

sarahdawson but you i must remind you mr castellan, i made it onto her feed first. you will ALWAYS be second to me. always.

drewtanaka anyone else hear weeping from the hephaestus cabin…

leovaldez it’s really depressing

leovaldez i think he just punched a hole in the wall

cbeckendorf he did

pipermclean LMAO WHAT A FUCKING LOSER 😭😭☠️☠️

( taglist ) @perseus-jackass @harrysnovia

[barcaatthemoon]

breed || alexia putellas x reader ||

your talk with alexia about starting a family takes a turn.

minors dni, 18+, smut warning.

you had never been attracted to anybody like you were alexia. everything the woman did drove you crazy. you thought that after a while, new things would stop giving you such a strong reaction. for a while, you had gotten used to how hot alexia was, and then you saw her and the baby.

it was the child of an old family friend, you remembered alexia explaining it to you. the baby was cute, but alexia looked so happy and natural playing with him. you knew that children flocked to your girlfriend, but you had never really thought about watching her with the kids.

"i don't want to give you up. i can't wait until you're bigger and can spend weekends with your tia ale," alexia said as she handed the baby back. it had been a torturous hour and a half watching her play with the baby. you had never seen alexia with such a deep look of longing before.

"i think we should talk." your heart was racing. alexia was quick to pull you into her lap before you could start pacing around the living room.

"then we can talk. tell me about what is on your mind. let me try to help you," alexia muttered as she pressed kisses all over the side of your face. she was careful not to give you too many, knowing that you needed a little affection to be forthcoming.

"i think that we should have a baby," you told her. alexia smiled as she turned your face towards her.

"say it again."

"i want us to have a baby together," you said. alexia leaned down and pressed a very excited and very sloppy kiss to your lips. you laughed into the second kiss, but by the fourth one both of your moods had shifted. the arousal that you had felt earlier in the day as you thought about alexia fucking a child into you.

"what else is on your mind, mi amor?" alexia's voice was low and sensual. she could tell by the flush on your cheeks that you wanted her just as badly. alexia could always tell with you, which was just one of the many reasons that alexia loved being with you. "what could you possibly be thinking about that could be turning you on like this?"

"i want you to fuck me, alexia. i want you to try and put a baby into me," you told her. alexia scooped you up into her arms and brought you back to the bedroom. you felt light as a feather as she tossed you onto the bed. alexia stripped herself of her clothes as she made her way over to her dresser. you thought that you knew what she was reaching for, but you had never seen the dildo that she turned around with. "what is that?"

"a surprise," alexia said. she pressed a couple of quick kisses to your lips. she wanted you to chase after her, and you were never one to refuse alexia something that she really wanted. you wanted more from her, and alexia rewarded your forwardness by giving you deeper kisses.

you were practically drunk from the taste of her on your tongue. your nerves were on the edge, and each brush of her skin against yours pulled some sort of reaction. alexia's favorites were always the little hitches of your breath or the whines when she did something you particularly liked.

"ale, please," you begged. she was teasing you, moving slower than what she really wanted to.

"you sound so pretty begging for me like that. i'm practically throbbing thinking about how you'll sound begging for my cum," alexia whispered in your ear. she grabbed onto your hips and helped you grind against her.

alexia was no stranger to touching you. she knew your body like the back of her hand. alexia had you dripping onto her fingers from the moment that she pushed your underwear to the side. they were ruined, and alexia would feel no qualms about tearing them in half when she was ready to push her cock inside of you.

alexia slid into you with ease. she had been deliberate in riling you up as much as she could without ruining the moment. alexia didn't want you to feel like you had to act out to get pleasure tonight. alexia wanted this to be just as good for you as it was going to be for her. the baby talk hadn't come as a surprise, but getting to break out her new toy was.

"you take my cock so well. i can't wait to see my cum dripping out of you," alexia told you. she held your body tightly against hers as she thrust into you. you were no stranger to being fucked from on top of alexia, it was one of her favorite positions. she loved to watch your body bounce as you rode her cock. alexia swore that just the sight of you riding her was enough to make her cum, but the friction from the way that you both moved was an added benefit.

"ale, fill me up, please," you begged her. you were getting close, each of alexia's thrusts pushing you closer and closer to the edge. you grabbed onto alexia's body and buried your face into the crook of her neck. you rocked your hips as you pushed yourself through your first orgasm.

"just a little more." alexia held your body against hers as she started to fuck you again. this time, she moved slower and deeper. each of her thrusts were intentional, hitting all of the spots inside of you that she knew would make you cum again.

the feeling as alexia pulled out of you was foreign. she looked smug as she stared in between your legs. you tried to sit up and get a look, but alexia blocked you. she swiped her fingers over your entrance and brought them up to show you what she had done.

"i can't get you pregnant, but i'll cum in you every night you let me," alexia told you. she quickly got herself out of the harness before laying back down with you. it wasn't ideal for you, but alexia cleaned you up with some wipes and gave you something to drink. all you wanted was to lay down and sleep off your post-sex brain haze, but alexia kept you awake until she had gone through her mental post-sex checklist.

[ihaechans]

Impatient || L.DH

PAIRING ▸ Lee Donghyuck x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut

WARNINGS/CONTENT ▸ profanity, clingy and whiny Hyuck, oral (f), groping, fingering, unprotected sex (don't be reckless pls..), jealous hyuck, multiple orgasms, creampie, nothing TOOOOO crazy tbh

SUMMARY ▸Your boyfriend Donghyuck just wants you all to himself.

WORD COUNT▸2k

A/N: This has legit been in my drafts since last year and I just finished it now. Wanted to release something before Die 4 You since I sadly won't have time to make any Halloween fic this year </3 please know this is not proofread so ignore mistakes, PLEASE...

“Alright, just let me know if you come up with any other ideas for the project. I’ll start my assigned section right away. Bye Jisung.” You sigh, quickly hanging up the phone without hesitation.

You love Jisung, you really do... but sometimes he really gets on your nerves. Both of you had decided to be partners for a project, and if you knew he was so clueless about every little thing maybe you should’ve just partnered up with Jaemin instead.

You huff, visibly irritated at the number of times Jisung has called you for instructions or help within the past hour, nearly screaming when you get another call from him not even a minute after you had just hung up.

Donghyuck laughs from beside you, the sound barely audible due to his face being buried into your side. “Jisung. He’s so cute.” your boyfriend mumbles sarcastically, smiling when you raise your voice at the poor boy on the phone.

You hang up once again, letting out a sound of exasperation.

“Don't get too mad Y/n, you know that’s just how he is,” Donghyuck whispers, pulling you closer into him as he caresses your side.

“You’re awfully touchy today. What’s up?”

“Hm?” he hums, nuzzling his face closer to your side as his wandering hand finds place on your stomach. “I just love my girlfriend.” He sighs, continuing his ministrations.

You’re suspicious but continue typing away on your laptop while trying your best to ignore Donghyuck’s suggestive touching.

“I swear to god,” you mutter, staring at your phone as another incoming call from Jisung appears on the screen. “I don’t know how much longer I can take this.”

“Then ignore it.”

Your boyfriend’s voice takes you by surprise. “What?”

“I said ignore it. He’s been interrupting my sweet time with my girlfriend. He’ll be fine on his own for a while.”

You laugh, the seriousness of his statement slipping past your mind. “Sweet time with your girlfriend is watching me do my project? Cute.” Smiling, you run your fingers through his hair a few times before resuming to type at your laptop, unknowingly annoying Donghyuck.

He huffs but you don’t seem to notice, too busy talking with Jisung on the phone, explaining something Donghyuck couldn’t care less about. He would get your attention sooner or later, he was sure of it.

His soft touches against your skin turn more suggestive within the next few minutes. You don’t mention it to him out loud, but he knows that you noticed.

His fingers dance across your thighs, grabbing and squeezing at them before you place your hand on top of his, stopping his mischievous actions. “Hyuck. What are you doing?” You whisper, making sure your mouth is far away from the speaker of your phone where Jisung was still on the line.

“I’m tired of waiting for you to be done. Why don’t you just cut it short for the day? Hm?” He doesn’t let you answer, getting up from his position so he can slot himself in between your legs.

Mouthing “no” and “stop” aggressively at him doesn’t work, his wandering hands already trying to slither under the bottom of your shorts. “Stop!” you whisper-yell, gaze demanding and stern.

Donghyuck simply ignores you, continuing to massage your inner thighs as he makes his way higher and higher. 

You try to ignore him and carry on with the conversation with Jisung, a surprised gasp leaving your lips when he shifts your shorts and panties to the side, licking a fat stripe up your pussy.

“Take these off for me baby. M’ gonna make you cum so hard for me.” There’s no shamefulness in his words and he says it loud and clear, the younger man on the phone pausing to ensure he heard that correctly.

“Are you sure you’re home alone?... I swear I just heard-”

“Yup! All alone!” You exclaim, accidentally drawing out your words to avoid moaning out. You bite your lip painfully hard, trying to conceal the sounds that were threatening to leave your mouth as your boyfriend continues to play with your cunt. He thumbs away at your clit, soft tongue placing kitten licks teasingly on your core as you shiver.

Giving in, you allow him to remove your shorts and panties, wasting no time to immediately bury his face in between your legs. “Jisung,” you breathe out, “I might have to call you back later…”

The boy on the line sighs, whining, “But Y/n, it’s an emergency and I need your help.” You could practically see the pout on his face through the phone, a sigh of annoyance and pleasure leaving your lips.

“Fuck…” you whimper, hips bucking up into Hyuck’s mouth as he continues to devour you, his tongue fucking inside of you as he thumbs at your clit.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks Y/n! I’ll be waiting for your call.” Jisung doesn’t wait for your response, hanging up almost immediately after he finishes his sentence, which was more than great for you.

Donghyuck seems to take that as his cue to speed things up, his tongue abusing your clit at a much faster rate. Your free hand searches for something to hold onto as your phone clatters onto the floor, legs wrapping around your boyfriend’s head to hold him in place as your back arches off the bed.

“Oh my god. Hyuck…” You’re not able to protest much, his tongue too busy licking up everything you have to offer. You moan loudly, voice louder than you had intended.

Donghyuck chuckles before quickly replacing his tongue with a finger, tongue licking at your swollen clit as he, plunges his index finger as deep as it will go into your tightness before pulling out and repeating the action.

The sensation of having his tongue against your entrance as he fucked you was overwhelming, a gasp leaving your lips as you found yourself getting closer and closer to your orgasm. “Yes Hyuck… yes…” You whimper, hips jerking up into his face as you cum on his tongue, his finger still fucking your pussy at a relentless pace.

You call out his name over and over again as he licks up everything you give him, face soaked in your cum as he looks up at you with a shit-eating grin.

“Hey, I was trying to finish up my work so we could fuck later,” you whine, pouting at the boy as he stands up. He licks his lips, smirking as he licks away at your juices before wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I was trying my best to be a good boy,” he muses, lifting your hips up from the bed as you wrap your legs around his waist. “But the more you denied my advances, the harder I became.” He continues, kissing your collarbone.

“That’s not fair, baby,” you breathe out, biting your lip. “I was just trying to get him off the phone, you know that." He hums, not bothering to reply as his lips immediately find yours again. Your hands fumble with his shirt, tugging it off of him as his tongue dances into your mouth.

He was much more aggressive than usual, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say that he was being a little bit needy. Though you kind of wanted to tease him, you couldn’t keep the grin from crossing your lips as he kissed you deeply, hands roaming your body as you moaned into his mouth.

“God… I missed you…” you whisper, biting down on his bottom lip lightly as he pushes your back down onto the mattress softly.

“I think I can let this pass since you’ve missed me so much,” he muses, climbing on top of you as he grinds his cock against your soaked pussy. “You’ve been teasing me all day.”

“I have not,” you protest, gasping as he grinds against you once more.

“You’ve been working and not paying attention to me.”

You laugh, rolling your eyes. “First of all, I’m working on my biggest project to date. Second of all, you’re the one who’s been teasing me.” Your breath hitches as his cock, still clothed in his jeans, grinds against your clit.

“That’s because I want you so bad.”

“You know you don’t need an excuse to touch me, right?” you point out, hips swaying as you try to push yourself further into his cock.

“You can touch me as much as you want.” Donghyuck chuckles, slipping his hand down between your bodies to unbutton his pants.

“Mhmm,” the boy hums, licking his lips hungrily as he watches you. He wastes no time in taking his cock out of his boxers, the end of it damp with pre-cum. “I think it’s better if I just show you how much I want you.”

Donghyuck wastes no more time, thumbing the head of his cock as he brings it down and slides the wet tip against your entrance. He looks you in the eyes before pulling back and thrusting in fully, the thickness of his cock nearly making you scream.

“O-Oh my god…” The boy lets out a deep moan, thrusting into you again and again in a quick, steady rhythm. The feeling of his cock sliding inside of you is enough to make you let out a high-pitched whine, hands searching for anything to hold onto as he pounds into you.

You grip onto the sheets, bodies colliding as the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room. “You’re so tight,” he mumbles, thrusting into you harder. His hips grind against yours, pelvis pressing against your clit and sending pleasure rippling through your body.

“Donghyuck…” You moan out, a fire building in your stomach as he fucks you into the mattress.

“You’re so fucking hot…” The boy breathes out, thrusting into you deeper. His cock slides in and out of you, tongue licking your neck as he pumps into you harder. “I can’t hold back anymore, baby...” he groans, hips jerking against your own as he pants into your neck.

“Fuck don't stop…” Your breathing hitches, shoulders tensing up as he thrusts into you at a quick, steady pace. You feel yourself getting closer to your orgasm, his cock sliding in and out of you.

“Come on, Y/n…” He breathes out, thrusting into you with more force. “Cum for me.” His fingers dig into your thighs, nails scraping at your skin. “C-Come on baby-” His voice tenses, urging you on as his thrusts quicken. “Cum, Y/n.” Your back arches off of the bed as you're sent over the edge, an orgasm tearing through your body.

“Oh my god, Donghyuck….” You moan out, hips bucking up into his as he pumps into you with more force. You feel him twitch inside of you, letting out a deep moan as he fills you up with his cum.

With a groan, Huck pulls out, smiling proudly at the mess he had made of you.

You could feel his cum seeping out of your pussy and down your thighs, an audible gasp leaving your lips as you let your head fall back onto the sheets. Donghyuck pants into your neck, pulling out of you as he wraps his arms around your waist.

"Can't believe all of that was because of that nerd Jisung. Didn't know he bothered you that much babe." You conclude, your boyfriend smirking down at you in return.

As you lay panting on your bed, naked as you stare at the ceiling with your arms spread out against the bed, your phone goes off again, and you're immediately reminded of why you were so irritated in the first place.

[foreingersgod]

Pls pls something about emily engstler where the reader ( they can be friends at the beginning) keeps staring at her tattoos especially on her hands and emily catches her

Tattoos . EE

pairing: emily engstler x reader

A/N: i’m thinking let’s stay home pt 2 next??

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

“what’re you staring for?” a familiar voice sounded from across the couch. it was so sultry, so smooth. you couldn’t help that your body was drawn to it instantly.

it was a normal day, you and your girlfriend tucked away in the comfort of your home for the weekend. she had had a rough week of intense practice and you had a draining week of work, so the both of you decided to take some time to relax. but it was a dangerous game for you, emily within your reach at all times. she was practically irresistible and you found yourself gawking at her nearly every chance you got.

she was quite literally the hottest person on the planet in your eyes. her hair, her body, her lips, her eyes…everything about her made you crazy. but your favorite thing about her, that made you want to pounce on her at any given moment, are her tattoos. you really couldn’t explain it, why you were so drawn to them. the intricate designs that littered her skin just had some sort of grasp on you, had you drooling like a teen girl over her high school crush. you would squeeze your thighs together in desperation as you’d watch her hand run down her face, ink ridden fingers mindlessly tracing the outline of her lips. god the things it did to you. how her muscles would flex when you’d watch her work out, your eyes glued to the way the tattoos moved with them. everything she did, you’d be admiring the beautiful works of art.

emily wasn’t quite aware of your fixation with her tattoos. rather she knew you liked them, but clueless to the near obsession you had. she never caught onto the stares or the amount of times you’d trace them with your fingernails when you’d lay in bed at the end of the night. she had always figured you’d liked them just like any normal person would. so you would continue on with your infatuation, let yourself indulge every now and then without her noticing.

until now.

“hm?” you blinked rapidly, shaking yourself out of a daydream.

your legs were draped over hers as you laid horizontally across the couch, your head rested against the cushioned arms of the sofa. emily was running her hands up and down your shins aimlessly, making little imaginary drawing here and there. she was scrolling on her phone to pass the time and you were sat there, just looking. for the past, probably 10 minutes, you sat there watching her. watched how her tatted fingers glided smoothly along your skin. watched how they moved effortlessly. it was hypnotizing to watch, getting lost in the print on her fingers. you couldn’t lie, you were getting hot and bothered just thinking about those fingers.

when you had emerged from your fantasies, finally looking over at emily, she was already staring back at you. her phone now discarded somewhere next to her and her gaze glued to you. her fingers had stopped tracing and she had one eyebrow quirked at you in curiosity.

“you’ve been staring at me for like 10 minutes” her head tilted to the side, she was so damn cute “everything ok? is something wrong?”

“m’not staring” you pursed your lips. now it was your fingers, fiddling senselessly out of nerves. you were too embarrassed to admit that you’d been caught.

she just chuckled, tongue running along her bottom lip. her hand rose up to scratch at the back of her neck in amusement at your poor excuse of a lie.

“come on, baby” her eyes still shooting daggers into you, eyelids low but still alluring and intrigued “don’t lie t’me”

“i’m not, honest! i don’t even know what you’re talking about!” you scoffed playfully, hoping she wouldn’t pry any further. but you knew she would. she always did.

“i’m talking about how the whole time we’ve been sitting here you’ve been eyeing me”

“i have not” you emphasized even more.

“oh really?” she said, and you nodded in return. she leaned in closer to you and you watched as her eyes flickered down to your lips and back to your eyes “then why is it that every time my hand reaches your thigh your breathe catches in your throat?”

if your breathe wasn’t hitching when she was touching you, it certainly was now. she looked so divine, practically hovering over you just to tease you like this. you wanted to be mad at her for making you feel so humiliated, but how could you when she was so tempting.

“talk to me,” her voice lowered to a rasp “you know exactly what i’m talking about”

unable to handle the heat, already feeling the blush creep onto your face, you sighed in defeat. you bit your lip and squeezed yours eyes shut as you tried to think of the right words to say. how does one say your tattoos make me want to tear off your clothes and take you right here, right now without sounding like a freak?

“it’s embarrassing, emily. don’t make me say it”

“you don’t have to be embarrassed around me, baby, s��ok” she was met with a moment of silence as you groaned in frustration “why were you staring?”

“your…” another sigh fell from your lips, you were at a loss for words “your tattoos”

“my tattoos?” she smirked “what about them?”

“they’re just so, i don’t know, attractive?” your body cringed as you said it. you tried to avoid her gaze to ease the shame you felt, but you couldn’t help but catch how her smirk formed into a toothy grin “like…god this is so stupid…like they just look so good on you and you look so fucking good all the time. and i just can’t stop looking at you, em, i’m sorry”

with a new found confidence, you continued “your fingers, just the tattoos on them…oh my god emily you have no idea what you do to me. even when you’re just sitting here i can’t resist you”

“wow” she breathed out, lips curled tauntingly “can’t resist me, huh?”

“shut up”

“no no” another laugh fell from her lips. but this time it was soft and relaxed, not seductive to try and coerce some confession out of you “it’s cute, babe. you shouldn’t be embarrassed”

you just rolled your eyes at her, part of you still irritated that you were put in such a position, but another part of you relieved she didn’t mind.

emily let her hands fall down to you legs again, palms flat against you. you could feel the slight callousness of her skin. they pressed into the plushness of your thighs gently as they agonizingly crept their way towards you. she kept her eyes on you, eyelashes low, lips slightly parted. your mouth fell dry as her hands approached the bottoms of your shorts. her fingers toyed with the hems, then eventually pushing their way past the loose fabric until she was met with the silky skin of your hip just under your shorts. then, with little warning, she let her head lower down to your neck. her breathe was hot against you as she let her lips attach, kissing along your body. you gasped upon feeling the sudden sensation, your hands flying up to the back of her head in an attempt to brace yourself.

“all this over some tattoos?” she whispered into your neck “baby…you’re killing me”

“will you be quiet and just kiss me?” you blurted, unable to handle the built up tension.

“anything for you”

and with that, her lips were on yours in an instant. your bodies melting into each other as she showed you just how much she loved you with those damned tattoos.

[sterekorgtfo]

Buck’s eyes jolted open and his heart began to race as something alerted his body and jolted him out from his slumber.

He was momentarily disoriented given that this was the first time he was sleeping in Tommy’s bed and he didn’t recognize the feel of the pillows, comforter, or the sight of the dresser across from him.

After a moment of grasping where he was and what was going on, he recognized the distinct sound of Tommy laughing his ass off behind him in the middle of the night.

“Do you mind telling me what you find so funny at 2 in the morning?” Buck groggily asked as he rotated over to face his hysterical boyfriend.

“Wh…what I’m laughing at?” Tommy asked through the laughter. “Are you saying you don’t know?”

“Given that I was deep in a very heavy REM Cycle, no. Absolutely not,” Buck replied in an annoyed tone. “Our first sleepover is not seeming very romantic right now.”

Tommy let out a few more chuckles and then began to calm his breaths. “Really? I was just thinking the opposite,” Tommy teased playfully. “Your snoring is adorable. Louder than my chopper and my bike combined, but adorable.”

Buck groaned and buried his face in the pillow. “I thought Chris and all of my girlfriends were being over-dramatic.”

“I’m sorry,” Tommy interrupted through a giggle. “Christopher and multiple exes of yours experienced this, and you still had doubt?”

“Chris commented on it when I was babysitting him, and kids are dramatic; and my girlfriends…have also had a history of being dramatic,” Buck explained.

“Uh-oh. I’m dating a ‘all my exes were crazy guy’? That’s a red flag,” Tommy teased.

“No, they’re not,” Buck defended remorsefully. “I just hoped it wouldn’t happen here.”

Tommy chuckled at his boyfriend and Buck felt a mildly judgemental gaze his way. “You thought it’d just be gone by tonight?”

“Kinda?” Buck said sheepishly.

There was a lull in the convo, a moment of silence before Tommy wrapped his arms above and below Buck. “Come here.”

Buck let out a minor yelp as he felt himself be pulled closer to his boyfriend. He felt the warmth of Tommy’s bare muscular chest and arms envelop him. “I think your snoring is adorable, Evan, and I will happily suffer through so many sleepless nights as long as it means you get to fall asleep in my arms and I get to wake up next to you in the morning.”

“You say that now-”

“I do say that now. And I’ll say it again each night until my body won’t let me fall asleep without the sound of you,” Tommy insisted with a confident assurance.

Bucks heart raced and his body instinctively shuddered, and his instinct to roll away was coursing through his whole body.

“Evan? Evan, what’s wrong?” Tommy asked with concern.

“It’s nothing,” Buck lied as he rolled away from Tommy.

“It’s not nothing,” Tommy countered as he allowed his boyfriend some space. “Did I say something wrong, Evan? I’d really like to know if I did.”

Buck winced his eyes and took a deep breath. He was thankful that they were laying in the dark and - *click* oh great, there was the nightstand light on Tommy’s side.

“Evan, will you please look at me?” Tommy tenderly inquired.

Buck really didn’t want to. He wanted to hide himself under the comforters in embarrassment. He didn’t want to be vulnerable right now, but pushing Tommy away wasn’t going to help the situation. Tommy deserved better.

He begrudgingly rolled over to face Tommy and Buck’s heart was struck with guilt as he saw the pain and concern painted across Tommy’s face.

“Evan, baby, can you please tell me what’s wrong?” There was that sweet, genuine sincerity that terrified the hell out of him.

“It’s just…you make all these super sweet promises that sound like you’re gunna be around forever; and we don’t know that,” Buck explained.

“So am I coming on too strong? Do you want me to stop? I don’t mean to rush things or put pressure on you-,” Tommy nervously began to explain.

“No, it’s not too strong. And no, i don’t want you to stop. I like it a lot. Too much, actually, and that’s the problem. I’m scared at how much I like it and I’m terrified about getting too used to it in case this all goes south. You sound like you’re promising forever but you can’t.”

There was another pause as Tommy began to process everything Buck said. “Can I hold your hand?” Tommy softly asked. Buck gently nodded in response.

Tommy moved his free arm to Buck’s, and entwined their hands together, locking fingers. “Evan,” Tommy began, holding his gaze. “You’re right. I cant promise forever. I don’t think our very first sleepover warrants any ring-talk.”

Buck let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, please do not. That’s a red flag.”

“Fair,” Tommy said playfully. “But here’s what I do know. I’m 39, almost 40. I have no intention of plying the field and I’m tired of meaningless flings. I get the feeling you are too based on the handful of threats I’ve received about treating you right; which I absolutely plan on doing.”

Buck chuckled at the thought of everyone giving Tommy the ‘If you hurt him speech.’ “Who all gave you the speech?”

“Maddie. Eddie. Bobby, who found it pertinent to remind me that Athena is a police sergeant,” Tommy explained.

“Oh my god,” Buck said. “I’m surprised you didn’t run on the spot.”

“Well you shouldn’t be,” *Tommy said sternly. “I have no intentions of going anywhere. And granted, it’s possible life is going to throw us some shit. But I’m willing to fight for you, Evan. And as long as both our lives are better with each other in it, then I’m willing to give this a genuine shot. I’m ready to put in the effort for this.”

Buck stewed and marinated and contemplated Tommy’s words. “Is that not a sentiment most people have at the start?”

“No it is not,” Tommy answered matter-of-factly. “Especially in the gay community. I’m not saying everyone, but I’ve ran into my fair share of guys only looking for Mr. Right Now. Or a daddy.”

Buck started to laugh heartily at the thought of Tommy being a ‘daddy’. He understood, though. Buck kinda agreed.

“I want off the hamster wheel, Evan. And I will do everything I can to reassure you that I mean it.”

Buck leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend deeply. Tommy wrapped his arms back around Buck and held him tight.

“I don’t want to hurt you either, if it’s any consolation,” Buck replied.

“I appreciate that. I don’t know if I have another heartbreak in me either. I spent too many years being inauthentic to myself and unhappy. I don’t want to waste anymore time of my life.”

“So we’re in good hands with each other?” Buck asked.

“I think so,” *Tommy said with a soft, warm smile that made Buck feel so safe and happy with it.

“I think so, too,” Buck said as he leaned in for one more kiss. “Ready to go back to sleep?”

“I suppose that’s up to your nose,” *Tommy said playfully as he turned the light off and pulled his boyfriend in close.

[allisonlol]

OO, how would jouno(you can also add whoever you want but JOUNO HEHZGEZGE i love him sm omg) be w an S/o who is very much stuck in the "crush phase", like giggling, blushing, smiling, hiding their face, and everything

a/n: this is such a cute idea 😵‍💫 !! def how i’d act around jouno too like oh my!!!! i also added tecchou cuz how could i not

warnings: none

(Jouno, Tecchou) With a S/O Stuck in the Crush Phase

Jouno

he def acts all annoyed but secretly loves this shit

jouno can already tell that u still get nervous and excited to see him by the sounds of your heartbeat 😭

but it warms his heart (something we all thought was impossible) that you aren’t ashamed to hide these actions

bro can’t even walk by you without u getting all flustered and hiding ur face…which is valid bc jouno is very pretty !

but he’ll sigh and shake his head, telling u to “stop being dramatic” 😭

^dw he is very much being lighthearted here and doesn’t entirely mean that!! jouno is just…not used to this kind of reaction to his presence so it throws him off a bit

the worst is when u do this shit in public 💀

^y’all will go to the store together and he leans over u to grab something off a high shelf…needless to say u are blushing and giggling like crazy (I WOULD TOO!!)

jouno gets all embarrassed and is like “STOP we are in public 😓”

which only makes it worse cuz he is so cute when he’s irritated

omfg the other hunting dogs def tease him about this 😭 tachihara practically follows jouno around asking how he can get ppl to act that way around him too??

but anyway. jouno abuses this power he has over u and purposefully does things to fluster u

^such as standing close to you, giving u random kisses, putting his arm around ur waist etc

may act like he hates it but the man has such a soft spot for u <3

Tecchou

tecchou genuinely does not fully understand how pretty he is nor the effect it has on u

he’s so tall…and strong…and OBLIVIOUS to how ur practically shaking next to him with how flustered u are

keeps asking if ur ok 💀 “are you sick, y/n? your face is all red”

gee i wonder why tecchou

whenever he bends down to kiss u, u get so nervous that you cover ur face with ur hands

he thinks this means u don’t want him to kiss u tho and is like “i’m sorry 😥”

you’re quick to explain that it’s just cuz u still get nervous around him!! but he can’t really fathom the effect he has on ppl so he’s a bit like ?????

^probably says some shit like “but i’ve literally seen u naked, why are you still nervous around me” 🫠

after awhile tecchou picks up on what is going on and sometimes messes with u to get a reaction

^holds ur face in his hands and just looks at u adoringly before giving u lots of kisses!!! u have to push him away cuz ur blushing so hard

plays it off SO WELL tho like you’d never know he’s doing this shit on purpose

i feel like tecchou was never someone to think much abt his physical appearance or how other ppl perceive him in that way, so ur reactions make him feel something new 🥹

[evansbby]

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐓𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟓

part v - heart ripped, soul devoured

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dark alpha!Steve Rogers x naive omega!Reader

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut, major angst, extremely dark themes, a/b/o dynamic, daddy!kink, dubcon, extreme depictions of depression, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of illness, 18+ only, minors do not interact!  

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: The end.

𝐀/𝐍: This is it. 37.7k words. The ending. I have read over it and edited it countless times, but please forgive any errors. Apart from that, enjoy!

PART I

“PETER! STOP!”

It's only when you scream at the very top of your lungs that Peter finally skids to a stop. But his grip on your arm remains firm – like he’s frenzied. And why wouldn’t he be? He must know the danger he’s put himself in; both of you look back at the mouth of the stadium for Steve. But there are too many people, too much going on, and you can’t tell whether your heart is beating crazily in longing for Steve or in warning for when he inevitably does find you. And Peter.

“Look, I’ve got a car.” Peter looks at you pleadingly, tugging at your hand again. He’s dragged you all the way to one of the parking lots of the stadium. “He won’t catch up to us if we leave now, not when there’re so many people. Please, just come on!” He gives you another yank, but you’ve got your feet planted firmly on the rough asphalt.

“I don’t want to go.”

“What?”

Now that you’ve verbalised it, it becomes all too real. You want to stay – right? That’s what you’ve just said, sounding as firm as you’ve ever sounded in your life. Clearing your throat, you take a deep breath before looking him dead in the eyes.

“Peter, I’m sorry but I don’t want to go with you. I want to stay with Steve.”

“What? No, you don’t mean that, you’re not thinking straight, you–”

His voice cuts off suddenly and he blinks. You wait with baited breath for the “you’re crazy” and the “are you kidding me?!” but all he does is stare at you.

What is it that he sees in your face through his unwavering stare? Is it something he refused to see before? Is Peter finally seeing the person who used to be his girlfriend before she cheated on him with another man? The same man whose baby you’re carrying? A man whose love you readily accepted after everything he put you through? A man whose proposal you accepted without even thinking of anyone else, Peter included?

“I can’t believe he’s done this to you.”

Genuine horror specks through his brown eyes, and you realise that it’s not your face he’s staring at. It’s your neck. Your mark. Shock donning his features, his lips parted and Adam’s apple bobbing, he reaches out to touch the jagged line. As if on cue, your mark throbs and you wince away from him. You feel a stinging pain, a warning pain – as if Peter’s touching something he’s not supposed to, and it makes you jerk backwards.

“No wonder you don’t want to come with me.” Peter sucks in his breath, and it’s like his face can’t decide between revulsion or pity and so it settles on a mix of both. “He’s marked you. Brainwashed you.”

Brainwashed? No, no, no. You want to stay with Steve, don’t you? Now that he’s finally turning a new leaf, now that he’s promised you everything? Now that the lingering fear of him stomping all over your trust and ruining it like he has in the past is gone… It’s gone, right? That’s why you want to stay!

“Peter, he’s going to kill you if he sees you. You have to go–”

“I can’t even begin to tell you how fucked up this is.” It’s like seeing Steve’s mark on your neck has incensed him to the point of anger. “How could he–? How could you let him do this to you?”

“I didn’t really have a choice–but a lot has happened since then!” You feel defensive – and what does that mean for you? You don’t really have the time to consider your complex feelings towards Steve marking you, however, because danger is imminent and Peter is refusing to see that. “Look, I’ll explain everything to you somehow. But you know how he gets when he sees you, or me talking to you. You know what happened last time, Peter, and I don’t want him to hurt you again! Please go!”

“STOP TELLING ME TO GO!” Peter bursts, “I’m not going anywhere, alright? I walked away last time and look what he’s done to you.” His eyes cloud over as he grips both your shoulders, “You were my girlfriend first, okay? We’d barely started dating but we were happy, weren’t we? And he took that away, he ruined that. But you were mine first.”

His lips press roughly against yours before you even have a chance to understand what’s happening. And it feels like you can’t breathe, like you’re drowning. Like someone’s dunked you in ice cold water and you can’t get out no matter how hard you push. It feels alien. It feels wrong. You’ve kissed Peter before and you remember it being sweet and safe. But now it’s like you’ve been programmed down to your core to only respond to Steve’s kisses. And the sudden foreignness of Peter’s lips has you recoiling – or at least trying to, except he keeps a firm hold on you, his lips moving desperately against yours.

Was he searching for something? Something that just wasn’t there anymore? Was it ever there?

You don’t have much time to mull over that, however, because you’re suddenly ripped off of Peter. Instinctively, you reach up to wipe your lips, heart beating in a mix of relief and confusion. And then a familiar scent makes your nostrils tingle, and you look down slowly at the fist holding tightly onto your wrist. Blue veins running up and down a muscular arm which seems to be shaking with anger. And your gaze trails upwards, and your blood freezes.

Steve.

It takes the alpha all of two seconds to tackle Peter to the ground. And then he stands over him, cheeks red and eyes narrowed almost to slits. Teeth bared, growl emanating from his whole chest like a wild animal about to strike. He’s breathing rapidly, too rapidly – you could almost mistake it for a panic attack except his face is so still. Not a muscle twitches, his sneer locked into place.

Steve is livid. You can tell from the pure rage you feel in your bond with him, from the way he’s so quiet. It reminds you of the night he forcefully bonded with you, how quietly angry he’d been, how frighteningly rough as he’d taken what he pleased. And it fills you with a cold terror, because that anger had been ignited because he’d seen Peter touch your arm. But this was a kiss. And Steve had seen it.

“You just made the worst mistake of your fucking life.” Steve says quietly, glaring daggers at Peter.

“Steve, don’t!” You grab at his arm but he easily pushes you off, not even sparing you a glance. He’s like a predator poised before an attack. And the poor prey never stood a chance.

“Go ahead, Steve.” Peter swallows, getting back up to his feet, his chin up. And it’s surprising how his voice is strong and unwavering, despite the alpha twice his size hovering over him. “You gave me a black eye once but I’m still here. Give me another one, it doesn’t matter. I’ll keep coming back for her.”

It only takes a nanosecond, a flurry of movement, before Steve punches Peter straight in the jaw. The force of the blow knocks the beta off his feet. And your mouth’s open in horror, a silent scream stuck in your throat at the sickly crackling sound, and the thud of Peter’s head hitting the rough asphalt underneath him.

“I told you, didn’t I? I told you there’d be hell to pay if I ever saw you near her again.” Steve says softly, yet there’s foreboding danger laced in every word. He grabs Peter’s collar so hard that his knuckles turn white, “And you fucking kissed her, you stupid fucking sonofabitch. I could split your fucking skull open on the ground right fucking now.”

His words are violent and so is his threat, but again, it’s the way he’s talking so quietly, so calmly as Peter coughs and sputters underneath him. That’s what chills your blood more than anything else.

“Steve, please don’t!” You try again.

Steve gives Peter several violent shakes, and each shake is accompanied by a venomous word, “Don’t – fucking – touch – her – again, you beta scum piece of shit!”

“She was mine first.”

“YOU SON OF A BITCH–”

It happens quickly after that. But for you, the sequence is delayed, like in slow motion. Steve lunges forward, holding Peter’s collar tight while his other fist lands another swift punch to the brunette’s jaw. And there’s that horrific crackling noise again, fuelled by white-hot anger. Anger and alpha seemed to go hand-in-hand, and Peter sputters and spits out blood and stares back defiantly despite it all.

Were you a fool to believe Steve would change? Blindly believing in his promises like you always had and then watching him go back on his word and destruct anything good that could potentially come of them? Were you doomed to watch the same story repeat itself over again? Hurt, pain, forgiveness. Then more hurt, more pain… more forgiveness. Like a vicious cycle, a path of destruction. More chaos. More hurt. More anger. Would it ever end?

Suddenly, you’re tired.

“If you hurt him again, I’ll never forgive you.”

Your tone is loud, clear and concise. No stutter. Like in the bathtub all those nights ago, when the dark claws of hopelessness had almost pulled you down under. But nothing’s tugging at you now, except the pull of Steve’s promises that he’d made earlier. Did they mean something, when it really came down to it? Would he be different this time?

Steve freezes, still breathing hard and he’s still got Peter’s collar in his hand. Peter, whose jaw is already beginning to bruise and swell. Two pairs of eyes, blue and brown, snap over to you but you only look into one of them.

“Steve.”

His name falls out of your mouth quietly. The moment is brief, but your alpha seems to see deep into your eyes. His lips press together to form a thin line, and his breathing slows, evens out. Then, for a horrific second, rage infiltrates his features once more, twisting them, turning them pointed and cruel. And then a beat passes and so does his fury, as he slowly, unbelievingly, seems to calm back down.

“You ruined her life by giving her that mark.” Peter says darkly, his words muffled because of a probably broken jaw, “You’re selfish, Steve. A selfish asshole for doing that to her. And if you had even an ounce of decency in you, you’d let me take her away.”

“You don’t fucking know what you’re saying.” Steve says through gritted teeth, “You don’t know the first thing about me and her.”

“I know that she’s good, she’s kind. And you feed off of that, because you could never fathom being that kind yourself.” Peter stares up at Steve brazenly, like he knows he’s on the brink of a beating but is long past caring. “You’ve manipulated her to the point where she thinks she doesn’t want to leave you.” And then he looks at you pleadingly, “You can leave him, okay? Just come with me.”

Steve lets out an almighty snarl, his anger coming back tenfold, and he draws his fist back, about to punch Peter again. And you move without thinking, throwing caution to the wind as you grab his arm with both of yours.

“Steve. Don’t hurt him. I won’t forgive you.”

Steve whips his head back in fury, looking from you to Peter and then you again, before his gaze drops down to where your hand holds tightly over his fist. The alpha, so big and foreboding, seems to be unravelling in front of you. Was there a chink in that unbreakable armour, in that searing anger on his face? Before, he would never have hesitated in his blind fury, but now…?

For the second time, the rage seems to dissipate from his face, before it fights its way back and twists his mouth into a snarl. And then it fades away again, like a receding wave. And that’s’ when you realise it:

He’s fighting himself.

“We should go, Steve.” You say quietly.

Almost robotically, Steve releases Peter’s collar. His entire being is tense with hardly-contained rage, but by some miracle, he listens to you. Maybe it’s your bond or just sheer luck, or maybe you’ve touched him somewhere from deep within, but he stands up and backs away from the scene in front of him. You take his hand, and he allows you to entwine your fingers with his and pull him away. But not before he gives Peter one last deathly look.

“The only reason you’re not dead right now is because of her.” Steve spits out, each seething word laced with pure venom.

And Peter’s face shines red with blood and his eyes shine bright with betrayal as he looks beyond Steve and straight at you. And there’s a part of you that wants to run back and help him, make sure his jaw is okay. Tell him you’re sorry, that you never meant for it to end this way. Instead, you take your phone out to call 911, hoping and praying he didn’t get a concussion from when his head hit the ground.

“Don’t fucking bother.” The beta spits out at you when he sees the phone in your hand, and you immediately freeze. And then he turns his attention to Steve.

“She’ll never love you.” Peter coughs as he stumbles to his feet. Steve goes deathly still next to you.

The alpha’s back is still turned, but that doesn’t deter Peter as he laughs bitterly. “You may have her trapped under your thumb, but just know that she’ll never really love you. Because no one could love you, Steve. And any kindness she shows to you is because she is kind, and any affection she shows to you is because you’ve marked her and she can’t help her biology.”

Steve still doesn’t turn back, but you can feel him begin to shake. And he grips your hand so tight, you feel like your bones might shatter.

“You think you’ve won, Steve?” Peter laughs again, “You had to forcefully mark her to get her to stay with you. She feels nothing for you, you hear me? She’s only with you because she’s scared and thinks she has no other option. She’s only with you because you preyed on an innocent omega, knowing you could trap her because she can’t help but do what you say. But take all that away and what’s left, Steve? Nothing. Certainly not love.”

People are starting to gather and get closer, a few of them muttering and pointing at Peter’s bruised face. And Steve still doesn’t look at the beta, almost like he’s rooted in place as he stares straight ahead. You spot a vein in his forehead; it looks like it’s about to pop.

“Alphas like you take whatever you want, with little regard to who you hurt. But mark my words, Steve, it’ll be you who’s hurting in the end.” Peter spits out blood before continuing, his eyes blazing as he ignores the small crowd of concerned people forming around him, “Every day you’ll wake up and you’ll look at her and wait for her to tell you she loves you. Hell, you might even be able to scare her into telling you that she does. But you’ll spend every day wondering whether she truly means it. Whether her affection is genuine or if it’s just the omega inside her that you’ve manipulated. You’ll wonder if her love is real, and I can tell you right now, Steve, that it’s not and it never will be. Because she will never love you.”

“Peter, stop–” You speak up.

“She won’t ever love you, Steve. No one could ever love you.”

Steve closes his eyes for a moment, his lips gaped open as if he’s struggling to regulate his own breathing. As if every fibre of his being is trying to hold on to remaining stoic. But you can see the chinks in his armour, you can feel his hand as it crushes yours almost desperately, and the way the muscles in his face twitch. You know that it’s taking everything within him to hold himself together, and you also know that anything could set him off.

Peter turns and leaves, the small crowd parting to give him space to move. A few people offer to help him, but he shrugs them off. You watch for a second as your ex-boyfriend walks away, feeling broken in more ways than one. There are so many things you want to say to him, but you have a bigger problem on your hands right now.

You pull on Steve’s hand to lead him away from the scene, and away from the crowd that begins to disperse almost as soon as it had gathered.

*

“FUCK HIM!”

You sit completely rigid in the passenger seat of Steve’s car, in shock over what’s just happened. Your eyes are glued to Steve, watching him through the windshield as he paces. His hands are clenched into fists, his face white as a sheet and hair a mess as he keeps running his hands through it. Finally, he throws open the driver’s seat door and gets inside. And that’s when you realise that he’s still shaking.

“Fuck.” He breathes, looking straight ahead. His slightly stubbled jaw is tightly clenched, and you can see that protruding vein on his temple. His blue eyes look wild, glazed, unfocused, as his hands grip the steering wheel, most likely in a bid to calm himself down.

“Steve–”

“FUCK!” He explodes, the word hurtling out like a venomous fireball bouncing off the interior of the car. He rams his fist against the dashboard, making the whole car shake just like he is. “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK HIM!”

He’d held it together pretty well during the tense walk away from Peter and all the way to the other side of the parking lot to where his car was parked. He’d pushed you inside almost at once, as if he needed you sat in one place where he could see you. And now, with relatively nobody around you both, his emotions were quick to unravel.

Steve gets out of the car again. And you watch him, his brows heavily furrowed, lips twisted as he keeps chanting the same thing over and over again: “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!” And he gives the tire an almighty kick, once again making the car shake, and you grip the seat nervously, heart jumping up to your throat.

Another kick. And another one. Each one harder than the last, each one making your blood run colder and colder. Steve looked crazed, incensed, troubled, hurt and out-of-control – all those emotions wrapped up inside one alpha? You’re scared for what he might do next.

He stands there, chest heaving and face still screwed up. And then he gets back into the car, breathing hard. In fact, he’s gulping for air – as if he can’t seem to fill up his lungs no matter how hard he tries. Shaking hands, a wild look in his eye, they’re all tell-tale signs of a feeling you know all too well…

Was Steve having a panic attack?

It’s a side of him you’ve never really seen before. The formidable alpha who never outwardly showed even a hint of vulnerability.

“Fuck – him – he – doesn’t – know – anything!” Steve gets out between gasps of breath, his broad chest rising and falling at an alarming rate as he grips the steering wheel hard, almost as if he wants to tear it off and hurl it out the window.

You surge forward, cupping his face gently in both your hands. Slowly, you rub your wrists against his cheeks and nose. Scenting him. Like how he’d done for you all those weeks ago after the confrontation with Sharon had left you in tears and unable to breathe. You don’t know if it’ll work now, but you do know that if anything calms you down, it’s his scent. Maybe it would be the same for him?

And Steve looks at you, finally looks at you, with bewildered eyes but his nose twitches. His hand wildly grasps at your wrist, keeping it pressed against his face with a desperate carnality. Slowly, his breathing slows down, evens out. His shoulders sag, and then he crumples. Leaning over the console and hugging you fiercely, burying his face in your neck and holding you so tightly you fear you’ll pass out.

“He kissed you.” Steve says against your skin, “I didn’t like… Fuck, I hate that he did that. I hate that he touched you. It feels… It feels…”

It’s like he can’t find the words to explain what he’s feeling. But you know, you know, you know! For once, you know exactly what’s going on in his head because you’d felt it too! When he’d kissed the other omega. Like your heart was breaking over and over again, shattering when it was already shattered – was he feeling that too now? The worst feeling in the world, was Steve feeling it too? You don’t know what to say, but a part of you can’t help but think: now you know how it feels, Steve.

“You can’t kiss anyone else ever again. I hate it… I can’t fucking stand it… I –” His lips catch against yours desperately, biting and pulling as his tongue gains entrance to your mouth. You sigh against his lips and he lurches forward, consuming you with a possessive kiss that leaves you reeling.

“He doesn’t know us.” Steve says, digging his fingers into your flesh, “Fuck him. He doesn’t know the first fucking thing about us. I could’ve killed him.”

“I know.”

“Where the fuck does he get off? Taking you away from me, kissing you… And then all those fucking insinuations…? Acting like he knows me. Like he knows what I feel for you. As if his tiny fucking brain could even understand what we have between us.” He gives your shoulders a shake, “I swear to fucking God, I should’ve killed him.”

“I’m really grateful that you didn’t.”

Steve lets out a strangled sound, like a mix between a rumble and a sigh. “You’re the only reason I didn’t do it. I could’ve snapped his fucking neck.”

You don’t know what to say, all you can do is hug him and hope it’s enough to calm him down. He buries his face in your neck again, desperately smelling you as if he’s making sure you’re really there, as if your scent is the one thing keeping him grounded.

But then his head snaps up suddenly, and he cups your face in his hands.

“Let’s get married now.”

Your heart lurches, “What?”

His blue eyes are blazing with fury and excitement, and he sits up straight, nodding to himself, suddenly assured when just a moment ago he was losing it. “We’ll get married now, omega. We’ll go down to city hall and make it official right now. That’ll show that no good cuck of a beta, won’t it? That’ll show him what happens if he tries to fuck with me.”

“But Steve–”

“You said yes!” Steve whips his head in your direction, the sudden fierceness in his eyes making you cower back. He grabs your wrist tightly, “You said yes, omega. You said you’d marry me, and you’d be my wife. Mine. Not his.” He laughs maniacally, his grip crushing your wrist. “That stupid son-of-a-bitch, thinks he can make assumptions about us? Well, I’ll fucking show him.”

“We can’t just get married right this second because you want to prove something to him!” You blurt out before cringing backwards, hoping your words don’t set him off. “I know you could’ve hurt Peter really bad, Steve, but you walked away. And that meant everything to me, and you can’t just act impulsively now because you want to hurt him. You’ve done that before, Steve. You did that with me.”

You scrunch your eyes shut for just a moment, the memory of him telling you how he’d cheated on you the night you two had fought. It took a special kind of cruelty to exact such a calculated punishment, and you so wanted to believe he wasn’t that person anymore. Hadn’t he shown that by walking away from hurting Peter?

Fire and ice. It’s the only way you can describe Steve’s gaze as he looks at you. There’s frozen fire in his blue eyes, and a look that’s cold as steel. It contrasts against the rage that has his cheeks reddening as his grip on your wrist only tightens.

But then he relaxes, thumb stroking your hand as he brings it up to his lips, pressing warm kisses to your skin. It’s insane, because a second ago he was ready to commit a murder – Steve’s back and forth emotions are giving you whiplash.

“Baby,” He breathes, “I love you, okay? I love you so fucking much, do you understand that? I want you to be my wife, and that has nothing to do with him.”

Again, he cups your face and pulls you close, and the proximity calms your beating heart. You lean into his touch, explosions of summer sun like invisible fireworks all around you. His scent is reeling you in how it always does, and you’re diving in head-first like you always do. His thumbs stroke your cheekbones as he looks at you with eyes that are tender yet still slightly crazed.

“I love you.” He repeats, sounding meaningful. And then he looks at you expectantly, as if he’s waiting with baited breath. Waiting for you to say something back? But the moment is fleeting, and Steve pulls away and diverts his gaze, coughing slightly.

“Let’s go get married.” He starts up the car, and the engine revving to life is what knocks you out of your reverie, and you grab his arm once more.

“Steve, wait! You need at least two witnesses if you want to get married.”

“So what? I’ll call Sam and someone else. Or we’ll grab two random people off the street.”

“My mom doesn’t even know that I have a boyfriend! How can we get married without her knowing?!”

“Your mom won’t care–” Steve cuts himself off quickly, but his words sting all the same. You bite your lip in dismay, but he grabs your hand and gives it a squeeze, before adding softly, “Just text her and let her know.”

“I would like to tell her in person, Steve.” You plead. You know you’re stalling, trying to delay marrying him right at this moment. Why? Well, there were a plethora of reasons. It was too soon, you were too confused, and yes, you genuinely wanted your mother to know before you took such a huge step in life.

The alpha sighs, finally relaxing, but the determined, slightly crazed look in his eyes still remains.

“Fine. First thing tomorrow, we’ll go see your mother. And then immediately after that, we’re going to get married.”

***

You expect it to be dark and gloomy, but the sun is shining brightly the next day as you and Steve prepare to leave. And the nerves bubble up inside you like an incensed swarm of butterflies. Things were moving so fast… Two days ago, you weren’t even talking to Steve. And now you were taking him back home, back to where you grew up. Back to your mother. What could possibly go wrong?

The butterflies grow more frenzied.

“After we tell your mom, we’ll immediately head back to the city, where we’ll tell my parents. Your mom can come too, if she wants.” Steve says, locking the front door and leading you to his car. “Then, we’ll go to city hall and get married.”

You nod slowly, wishing your heart would stop pounding so hard. He made it sound so easy, checking everything off like a to-do list. Everything’s happening so fast, and yet you feel like you’re wading through quick sand as you walk down the driveway with your hand intertwined with Steve’s. You hadn’t heard from your mom since you left for university, and that was ages ago. You’d texted her on and off every few weeks, including last night to inform her you were coming back, but she was always too busy with work to ever reply. She didn’t know a thing about you – not that you and Steve were dating, certainly not that you were now engaged, and definitely not that you were pregnant.

Would she even care?

You get the sudden urge to cup your belly, but Steve’s words knock you out of your reverie.

“Omega, what the hell is all this?”

You blink, seeing his eyes trained on the little basket in your hand.

“Oh. I packed us some lunch for the trip.” You’d been so wound up all night that you’d awoken early to pack a bag full of homemade meatball subs, potato salad and several little boxes of apple juice. “It’s a long drive, so I figured we could use it. I also, uh, calculated our driving shifts.”

Steve squints down at you, “What?”

“W-Well, it’s a long journey, so I figured you could drive for the first half, then I could take over–”

“Omegas don’t drive.”

And with that stone-faced remark, Steve lifts you up into the passenger seat of his car. Before he clicks your seatbelt in place, you twist around to put your basket in the backseat before taking Steve Junior out from where he was tucked under your jacket. You place him beside the basket and his coal black eyes stare back at you as his precariously-stitched head lolls to the side. You didn’t feel right leaving him in Steve’s room while you travelled so far away. This way, he was close to his parents, and safe from any crazy men who might behead him for a second time.

The journey is quiet, and not even the cheery morning show host’s voice blaring out the radio can blanket the silence between the two of you. Because what more is there to say when yesterday’s events could’ve been ripped straight out of a telenovela? Your pregnancy, then Steve’s proposal, then the whole scuffle with Peter which had ended with a string full of damning words that had affected Steve a lot more than you thought they would.

“Why are you being so quiet?” Steve demands after ten minutes of no conversation. You jolt, staring at him with wide, wary eyes. He was being quiet too, but you know better than to say that to him.

“I’m sorry.”

The alpha sighs, “Don’t apologise.”

You almost instinctively apologise once more, before stopping yourself just in time. But you don’t know what else to say to him. Do you just go back to being normal after everything that had just happened? What even was “normal” with Steve? You can’t even remember the last time you’d had a proper conversation with him. One that wasn’t intense or emotional or filled with accusations and hurt. So, where do you go from there?

“Let’s play a game.” Steve says after a further ten minutes of silence and you staring out the window at the scenery, and you almost raise an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic suggestion. You peak over at him, and he’s staring straight ahead. His eyebrows are knotted and lips pursed, as if he himself is uncomfortable to a certain degree.

“A game?”

“Yes. You ask me a question and I have to answer honestly. And then I’ll do the same with you.” Steve says, sounding like he’s reading instructions off a manual. His “game” sounds simple enough, but you still can’t help but be wary.

“I…uh…I don’t know what to ask.” You confess and Steve huffs.

“Just do it.” He orders you.

“Okay, uh, wh-what’s your favourite colour?” You blurt out, immediately feeling stupid.

Steve rolls his eyes, “That’s not what I meant, omega.”

“I’m sorry.”

You turn back to your window, watching the scenic landscape go whizzing by and hating yourself for being so awkward. It was a wonder he didn’t rescind his marriage proposal right then and there, because you couldn’t even play his game right and it was such a simple game to begin with and –

“It’s blue.” Steve coughs.

The corners of your mouth quirk up. “Oh. I knew that. A lot of your favourite shirts are blue. They match your eyes.” You sit up straighter and glance at him but his expression is impenetrable as always. “My favourite colour is yellow–”

“You can’t answer your own question.” Steve interrupts. “And you can’t ask a question that you already know the answer to.”

“Oh. Of course, sorry…” You deflate, wanting the buttery leather car seat to swallow you up whole. You’ve been feeling extra sensitive lately, for obvious reasons, and your fingers itch for Steve Junior to calm your nerves. You really wish you’d kept him in the front with you.

“My turn.” Steve says after a while, right when you think he’s abandoned the game. There’s a pause before the car reaches a red light and comes to a halt, and he turns to look at you.

“Are you in love with Peter?”

He spits the question out like each word is pumped full of acid, and his blue eyes bore into yours as he waits for an answer. You can see his fingers already tapping at the steering wheel impatiently and you gulp. You weren’t expecting his question to be so loaded off the bat. 

“Wh-What?”

“You heard me. Are you in love with him? Is that why you were kissing him yesterday?”

Your jaw drops open, “Is that what you think??”

“That’s what I saw.”

“I did not kiss him back.” You say firmly, a part of you not even caring if he believes you or not at this point.

“You didn’t?”

“No, Steve. I told him I wanted to stay with you.” And now he’ll probably never speak to me again.

Steve pauses as if to mull over this information, and he seems to look somewhat touched before a smirk tugs at his mouth, “Well, of course you didn’t kiss him back, and of course you want to stay with me. I knew that.” But you notice how his shoulders relax and his jaw untenses, and he exhales in relief before–

“Well? Answer my original question, omega. Are you in love with him?”

“N-No–”

“Be honest!”

You take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts and give him a proper answer. “I don’t love him. He was my best friend and we used to hang out together all the time. We’d watch movies and study together and play computer games. I guess we both thought that since we liked each other’s company so much, that we might as well start dating. It was my first relationship and it was sweet. But I’m not in love with him. I don’t think I was with him long enough to explore that, but even if I had been, I think I knew deep down that I could only ever love him as a friend.”

You’re surprised at your own eloquence, and how you’ve finally put your jumbled thoughts and feelings into words. It’s like a weight lifted off your shoulders, but you’re still wary of Steve. In the past, you were never allowed to mention Peter or allude to your relationship with him.

But Steve only nods, relief flooding his features once more, “Yeah? Well, I already knew that. I knew you could never love him.”

“Oh... Well, I thought you said we weren’t allowed to ask questions we already knew the answer to?”

He shoots you a look and rolls his eyes while you turn to look out the window to hide your own smile. You can feel those butterflies creeping up inside you again, fluttering like crazy and making you feel shyer than ever. You only look back when he squeezes your leg.

“You could watch movies with me too, you know.” Steve says.

“I never thought you’d want to.”

The light turns green and the drive continues, as does the game. Now it’s your turn once more.

“Why did you – uh –” You play with the string of your hoodie, wondering whether you should bring this up. But he’d asked you a question about your ex, so you could do the same. “Did you promise Sharon everything that you promised me? About taking care of her and starting a family?”

Steve sighs, “Is that what she told you?”

“Is it true?” You whisper, not sure if you even wanted to know the answer.

“Look, I was with Sharon for two years. Things change as time passes.”

His answer is vague and unsatisfactory, and you feel yourself straighten up in your seat. “So, two years from now, you’ll change your mind about me too?” And our child?

“No, because you’re different. Everything I said to you was true. About how I wanted you to be the mother of my children, how I promised to take care of you. Ask me again in ten years, and none of that will change.” He inhales deeply, “I told Sharon that I wanted a wife and a family to take care of. But I never explicitly said that I wanted that with her. She never made me feel…”

His voice trails off, but your curiosity gets the best of you. And despite your reserved nature around him, you can’t help but clutch his arm and squeeze.

“She never made you feel what?”

He scrunches his eyes shut for a second, his fingers drumming against the steering wheel. Another long exhale and then:

“Nothing, okay? You can’t ask multiple questions, omega. That’s not how this game works. But to answer your original question: No, I didn’t promise any of that to her. She was just bitter that I dumped her, and she took it out on you. And I’ll make sure she pays for that.”

 You sit back, not knowing how to feel. It all boils down to the same thing you’ve been asking yourself for a while now: do you trust his word?

The drive continues on for miles and miles. The two of you settle into another short period of silence, but this time it’s more comfortable. You even pluck up the courage to turn the radio back on, engulfing the car in upbeat pop music that makes Steve frown and huff and roll his eyes. But he lets it play, and the melodious crooning of Taylor Swift accompanies you all the way to the gas station.

Steve polishes off his meatball subs in the gas station parking lot after filling up the car, whilst you and Steve Junior watch him. He offers you a sandwich too, but the smell of both the subs and the potato salad is making you queasy, so you politely decline.

“Well, you have to eat something.” He frowns.

“I’m okay.”

“It’s not a request, omega, you’re eating for two now. And why would you pack these sandwiches if you weren’t going to eat one?”

You shrug, trying to hold your nausea at bay. “I wanted it in the morning but now I don’t want it anymore.”

“That’s ridiculous. Just eat it!”

“No!”

“Do what I tell you and eat it!” He thrusts the sandwich into your hand.

“No, please! I don’t want to!” You blanche as the bile rises up to your throat.

Throwing up in a gas station bathroom in the middle of nowhere is a humbling experience, to say the least. You thank your lucky stars that you have your toothbrush in your purse, because the amount of grime and filth covering the toilet has you heaving everything out. You’d thought you’d lucked out this morning when you hadn’t had your usual bout of morning sickness. Well, it was here now, and with a vengeance. You throw up for what feels like an eternity, and then clean and freshen yourself up before emerging from the bathroom, feeling sheepish and embarrassed.

Steve drags you into the nearby convenience store after that, determined to get you to eat something to fill up your now empty stomach. You’re hesitant at first, but soon point to what you want and let him buy it for you. And then he sits in the car and watches you munch on a hot pickle dipped in peanut butter and a small bag of ice chips.

“You’re actually enjoying that?” He asks in disbelief.

“Yes, I like it.” You hold the pickle out to him. “Would you like some?”

Steve makes a face before the two of you share a look. You don’t know whether he cracks a smile first or if it’s you. But you do know that this is new, uncharted territory between you two – much like how this whole day has been. It’s in the little things, how his smile seems sweet rather than smug. How you’re able to hold eye contact with him longer than you’ve ever been able to before. How he’s talking to you like you’re a person, instead of an object that he wants to manipulate.

“I think I’ll pass.” He says, and you shrug, taking another deliciously satisfying bite of the pickle. And you’re so engrossed in how good it tastes (especially with the peanut butter) that you don’t even notice when Steve leans over the console and plants a kiss on your forehead.

“You’re cute.” He says, his cheeks blushed pink in a way you’ve never seen them before, and you can feel the tips of your ears growing hot and a fluttering spark deep in your tummy. And then he coughs and straightens back into his seat, shaking his head as if he’s trying to clear it. You continue to munch on your pickle while he checks the GPS and clears his throat.

“Let’s get going. We’re almost at your mother’s house.”

*

The rest of the drive goes by in a blur, and as the time passes and the roads grow familiar, the light-hearted feeling in your chest is replaced with one of dread and foreboding. Just seeing the signs leading to your hometown brings back a mixed bag of memories. Ranging from good ones (mainly involving Peter and school) to bad ones (everything else). And your stomach churns in anticipation when Steve finally parks his car in front of your childhood home.

“It’s not much.” You say as you reach out to ring the doorbell, gingerly brushing away stray cobwebs from the brass, hoping Steve didn’t see them, “And my mom is usually too tired to clean, so it’ll be a mess in there probably.” You take a deep breath before turning to face him, “Look. I… I know it’s not as fancy as what you’re used to, but p-please don’t judge it, okay?”

Steve, who up until this moment had been busy surveying the almost decrepit looking street crammed full of houses on the verge of falling apart, frowns back at you. “I wouldn’t judge.”

“Thank you.” You say quietly, although you feel extremely embarrassed. Steve is undoubtedly used to the grandeur and lavish lifestyle that most of the people at your university lead. You know he probably gets more money in his monthly allowance than your mother would see in a year.

But this was where you’d grown up, this tiny house which resembled more of a cottage, with its two rooms and leaky roof and creaky doors. The house you’d so desperately tried to make into a home, learning to cook and clean and sew at a young age just so you could spruce things up at home while your mother worked six – maybe seven – days a week and her boyfriend of the month sat at home and drank, and…

You blink it all away, ringing the doorbell again but no one answers. Nervously, you bite your lip and glance back at Steve, who has an arm protectively around your waist as if he thinks something might burst out from inside and attack you.

“Mom’s probably at work.” You explain, gnawing at your lip.

“What does she do again?”

“She’s a waitress.” You say sharply, your tone starkly defensive. Suddenly, you’re transported back to the beginning of freshman year – Steve and his gang smirking and laughing at you about everything, from your hand-me-down clothes to your scuffed sneakers. Would they have had a field day with the knowledge that your mom was a waitress? When all their parents were bankers, businessman, doctors and lawyers? “Why are you asking me that?”

“Restaurants would all be shut at this time.”

“Well, maybe she’s asleep. She works really, really hard, okay?” You can’t help as your voice grows more high-pitched; your tone more distressed. It’s like the past few hours of easy conversation with him all evaporated as soon as you entered this house. Your defences are now coming up higher and higher – the same defences that had slowly corroded and crumbled through incessant bullying throughout the year. But this is your home, your turf, your mother – you can’t help but be defensive.

“Baby, are you okay?” Steve asks softly, and it’s still so strange to be faced with this side of him. This softer, kinder side that almost seems to have manifested overnight. It’s like half of you is still on high-alert, waiting for him to burst out laughing. Waiting for him to get his phone out and take pictures of the poverty surrounding him and send them to everyone he knows. Instead, his warm hand rubs your back soothingly and you don’t know what to think.

“I’m fine.” You sound so clipped, it’s strange. You know you shouldn’t be speaking to him like this, and in the past, he would’ve warned you for being short with him. But right now, he doesn’t say anything as you both wait at the front door, with you shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

Finally, you sigh, reassuring yourself that your mother is probably just at work or asleep inside as you bend down and reach under the dirty welcome mat, thanking your lucky stars that the spare key is still there.

Steve tenses his jaw, “That’s not safe, omega.”

You don’t answer, because what robber would ever come to your house? What exactly would they steal? You don’t have time to mull over it before Steve snatches the key from you, grabbing your hand and stepping in front of your body like a human shield. He unlocks the door and slowly steps inside with you following on his tail.

“Mom,” You call out, trying to flip on the lights except they aren’t working. That’s nothing new – sometimes your mom was late to pay the bill and so they’d cut the electricity out, but it’s embarrassing for it to happen now, with Steve here. “Mom? It’s me! I’m home!”

Your voice echoes around the room, but there’s no response. Steve turns his phone’s flashlight on, shining it around and revealing the stark, dusty furniture. The stained carpet and cracked coffee table loaded with empty takeaway containers. You always kept the place neat and tidy when you lived here: surfaces gleaming and fresh flowers on the table, but clearly your mother and her boyfriend haven’t kept that up since you moved to college.

“Mom? Didn’t you hear me? I’m home! And my – uh – my boyfriend’s here too.” You cough and try not to look at Steve when you say that part; it still gives you butterflies when you refer to him as your boyfriend. Or fiancé. Father of your baby? Your mother has no idea about any of that, and you try to ignore the wobble in your voice, “I-I know I was supposed to come home as soon as the term ended, but a lot of things came up. There’s – uh – there’s a lot of things I need to tell you, mom.”

No response, and the door to your mother’s bedroom is ajar.

“Omega, I don’t think anyone’s at home–”

 You ignore him, and it feels like you’re wading through wet cement as you make your way over to her bedroom. Creaking the door open and seeing it empty, bedsheets stripped and drawers hanging open and closet left ajar too. All empty. No clothes, bags, shoes, anything. A gasp dies in your throat and you shut the door and step back, bumping into Steve’s hard chest.

“Is she in there?” He asks, although his eyes seem to know the answer.

“She’s still at work.” You answer brightly, clearing your throat to get rid of the lump, blinking several times as a wide smile plasters itself on your face. “She’s just at work.” You repeat, diverting your eyes when he gives you a concerned look. “She’s probably working late – maybe she got a new job where she has longer hours.”

Steve sighs, “Omega–”

“We could kill some time till she comes back. Please, let’s just…” You take a deep breathe, “Maybe we can go into my room?” You drag him away from your mother’s door and to the one right next to it. Your room.  And Steve is about to say something but stops short when you open your door and lead him inside, and he grips your dresser, inhaling deeply.

His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and his eyes flutter shut, long lashes fanning his face. He looks so big in your tiny room – it’s about the size of a closet, much smaller than your dorm room. And with your bed, your dresser and your closet, there isn’t much space to walk or even stand for one person, let alone you and your 6’6 framed alpha.

“Your scent is everywhere in here.” Steve says, sniffing the air greedily before impulsively tugging you flush again him. The embrace comes out of nowhere, but you still feel the goosebumps you always do whenever he does things like this. And you let him hold you, relaxing against his comforting arms despite the alarm bells ringing at the back of your head.

“I grew up in here.” You answer quietly, still in his embrace as you turn around, back against his front and he wraps his arms around your waist. “I only moved out months ago, but it feels like ages since then. Like so much has happened, and this is a whole different life.” You reach down to stroke your pink bedsheets – they look exactly how you’d left them – and you imagine the ghost of a younger girl who’d hide in here and study to drown out the sounds of drunken fighting coming from outside.

Steve draws away from you, distracted by the contents of your bedroom. There isn’t much left, but you’ve still got a bunch of books and some tiny knick-knacks lying around on your desk. And you’re momentarily transported back to that first day as you watch him rifle through your things just like he’d done when he’d come over for that tutoring session.

“Aw look, it’s baby omega’s diary.” Steve grins, grabbing a tiny, worn-out yellow journal and flipping through it, making you snap out of it and frown.

“Hey! Give that back!” You lunge for it, embarrassed and not wanting him to read your childish wishes and whims that you’d jotted down over the years. But Steve is much too tall, much too strong, and easily holds the journal out of your reach. He opens it to a random page, his voice comically high-pitched as he reads your words out loud.

“Dear diary, we got our math test results back today and I got a B. I cried for a while but it just means I have to study harder.” Steve chuckles, “Wow, omega, you were a huge nerd even back then.”

“Please give it back.”

“No way, we’re killing time, remember?” He flips to a different page, “Dear diary, the classroom hamster died today and nobody else seemed to feel sad about it.” He snorts, “Cute.”

“Steve–”

“Dear diary, mom’s new boyfriend is really scary. Sometimes he stares at me…”

Steve’s voice trails off, but his eyes remain glued to the page, fingers almost crushing the old journal to dust as he grips it hard, and you swallow uncomfortably, blinking away bad memories. Oh, why had you written all that down? Journals were meant to store memories and you didn’t want to remember that…

Brows furrowed yet expression still unreadable, Steve finally sets the diary down. “What is this about?”

You shrug, diverting your gaze.

He draws you closer again, his face distraught, and you wonder whether you’re in trouble. And you know that’s insane – why would you be in trouble? – but you can’t help but worry all the same, the lump in your throat growing bigger and bigger. Steve’s hand cups your cheek, stroking it lightly and tipping your face upwards to meet his gaze.

“Did he touch you? Your mother’s boyfriend?”

“No.”

“I’ll find him and kill him if he did.” His threat is serious despite the gentleness of his tone, and his thumb strokes your cheekbones, and the heat that’s always radiating from him is almost like a hug, almost like he’s cocooning you in a warm whirlpool of safety, where the only man there is him, him, him. Just him.

“He didn’t. And there were a lot of boyfriends – they’d come and go.” You focus on Steve’s chest, not being able to look into his eyes. “One of them hit me once, because it was dinnertime and he ate my mom’s portion too and I thought that was so unfair. So I spoke up.” A bitter laugh escapes your throat, you can still remember how your cheek had stung with pain. “Well, I learnt never to do that again, and now I have this stupid stutter every time I do speak up in front of people.”

You stare out the window, at the desolate patch of dead grass outside and the ghost of a little girl playing there to escape the monsters inside the house.

“Most of my mom’s boyfriends hated me, but some of them would stare.” You scrunch your eyes for a moment before opening them and forcing out another laugh, “That’s why I wore those huge hoodies that you hate so much. It made them stare less, and then I guess I just got used to wearing them all the time.”

You wish with all your heart that you could read the expression on Steve’s face, or maybe read his mind and know what he’s thinking in this moment. But he only stares at you, and he stares and stares and stares, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“Let’s go from here.” He says finally, “Your mother clearly isn’t here and you’re getting tired. I need to take you home.” He grabs your arm, pulling you out the door but you dig the soles of your feet into the ground, shaking your head.

“No, Steve, please. She’s probably almost back!”

“You’ve had a long day, omega, and you’re wearing yourself out. You’re pregnant now so you need to be careful about these things. Don’t argue with me.”

The tears well up in your eyes before you can stop them, and the lump in your throat gets bigger and bigger. It’s no secret that your pregnancy has made you more emotional, but a small part of you wants to stubbornly lock yourself in your childhood room and wait for her to come home, no matter what your alpha tells you to do, no matter what you know deep down in your heart…

She’s not coming home… The voice at the back of your head is beguiling and mocking at the same time, but you forcibly ignore it with everything inside you.

“Please. I haven’t spoken to her for months. She… She doesn’t even know about you, Steve! Let alone the fact that we’re gonna be married, or that I’m pregnant. And she deserves to know–” Your voice breaks, and you will yourself to be brave but the tears are already halfway down your face, “She’s my mother, Steve. She deserves to know.”

Steve sighs, “Fine. An hour and then we’re leaving.”

It’s progress, because before he wouldn’t have even entertained the idea of listening to you. You give him a small smile of gratitude before taking a seat on your bed – he’s right, you are tired. There are so many aspects of your pregnancy that you’re yet to get used to: the unpredictability of your emotions, the nausea, the soreness, how tired you feel sometimes. Maybe it’s something you could discuss with your mother; a talking point, a bit of common ground. You sigh as your heart pitter-patters – why isn’t she home yet?

Steve resumes looking through your things – he really seems to like doing that. You watch as he rummages through your old scented candles which are all burnt down and used up, your pens which have dried out and your other stationary, your old clothes which are too small for you now. You wonder what exactly he finds so interesting about all this, and then he finds a stack of old photographs inside your drawer.

Quietly, he comes over and sits next to you, sifting through the pictures.

“That’s me when I was a few days old.” You point out when he pauses at a picture of a baby swaddled in white cloth. You’re gazing imploringly up at the camera, eyes big and tearful, with your tiny fists waving in the air. “My mom said I cried a lot as a baby.”

“Well, that hasn’t changed.” Steve snorts before a hesitant smile crosses his features, “You were cute.”

You shrug. There aren’t many more pictures from your childhood; none of you as a toddler or any as you got older. These baby pictures were all you had, and Steve quickly stores them in the inner pocket of his leather jacket.

It’s like there’s a big grandfather clock inside your head, and each tick is a mocking laugh as the time passes. You and Steve leave your room, and you take a firm seat on the couch, eyes trained on the door with a concentration nothing could possibly break. Steve sits beside you for a handful of moments before he grows restless, huffing and shaking his head. But every time his gaze fixes on you, it softens. And whatever words he’s got on the tip of his tongue seem to die in his throat.

Ten minutes pass. And then another ten. It’s almost pitch black all around you, except for the light from Steve’s phone. The alpha gets to his feet and resorts to pacing, but you block it all out. There’s nothing in your mind except for: she’s going to come home, she’s going to come home, she’s going to come home! Any minute now…

From your peripheral, you can see Steve make his way into the open kitchen, the space looking largely unused. You vaguely wonder who has been cooking since you’ve been gone. Who’s been cleaning through the cloud of depression that fogs this place? Who’s been making this house feel like a home since you’ve been gone?

It’s not a home anymore, she’s not coming back! The voice in your head sings but you’ve become good at pushing the thoughts out now.

“Omega.” Steve’s voice, loud, clear and serious, cuts through the war going on inside your head. “Look at this. There’s a letter here. For you.”

No. No. No. No. What letter? There was no letter.

“Steve, I’m waiting for my mom right now.” You answer unwaveringly, eyes locked on the door despite this horrific feeling slowly invading your bloodstream like poison.

You hear his footsteps before he sits back down beside you, his arm going around you and you feel his warmth but there’s also this foreboding type of chill within you. Just keep your eyes on the door, she’ll walk in any moment now.

“I think you should read this. It’s got your name on it.” Steve sounds oddly gentle, but like he’s miles away. Yet you only stare at the door, because you don’t want to look at the paper in his hand. Looking at it would make it real, and reality is almost always accompanied by pain. And there was already so much pain inside you, wasn’t there? No, no, no. There was no letter. You were waiting for your mother to come home. She always came home. Drunk, angry, upset, depressed – she always came home.

“I told you that I’m waiting for my mom right now.” Is it really you who sounds so clipped and dismissive? With just that little bit of desperation hanging off the end of your words, as if begging him, willing him to put the letter away? To pretend it’s not there? And that everything’s okay? And that you’re not moments away from crushing, mind-numbing despair?

Instead, you hear the rustle of parchment, knowing Steve’s unfolding the paper. He’s reading whatever is written on it. And you try and focus on the brass doorknob, waiting for it to turn. Willing it to turn but it remains rigid as ever, and you can hear Steve’s sharp intake of breath as he reads the contents of the letter, before he grabs your arm.

“Omega. Listen to me. We’re going home. Right now.” Steve says. But it’s when he stands up and tugs you up with him, that you feel the elastic band inside you snap. The band that was just about holding you together, breaking apart and tearing your insides apart along with it.

“FUCK OFF, STEVE! Can’t you see I’m waiting for my mom? She’s running late but she’ll be home any minute. Maybe you don’t know what it means to have a hardworking parent who works long hours, but if you want to go home, then just go! I’M NOT COMING WITH YOU BECAUSE I’M WAITING FOR HER!”

Never before have you yelled at him this badly, but you don’t even brace yourself for his anger or whatever punishment he’ll undoubtedly throw your way. You’re too distracted by the dread piling up inside you, threatening to shatter away that tiny sliver of hope that you still cling to. Stubbornly, you sink back down on the couch, crossing your arms over your chest and once more locking your eyes on the front door. She’ll come home. Any minute now. She’ll be here.

You can see Steve’s hands ball into fists, and you hear him take several breaths before he gets down on his knees in front of you. For a split second, you look into his clear blue eyes, seeing your own reflection staring back at you. Why do you look so scared? So haunted? So alone? But then you blink and look back at the door, doing everything to just block him out, even when he gently cups your face and his thumbs stroke your cheeks.

“Baby, she’s not coming back.” He says it so tenderly, but then why does each word feel like a sharp knife twisting into your stomach?

“Yes, she is.”

“No. She’s not.” And he presses the paper into your limp hand. And now you can feel it, and if you can physically feel something, then how long until you have to stop denying its existence? “The letter says that she –”

“Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop –”

“It says that she left, omega.”

“NO!”

For one feral second, you get the urge to crumple the letter in your hand and throw it far away. To another dimension, if that was possible. And then just continue staring at the door, willing your mother to come home and prove Steve wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong! But the sane part of your brain that’s trying desperately to keep you grounded makes sure that the paper remains in your fingers. And with a shaky hand, you slowly bring it up so you can read it:

I don’t know if you’ll even see this, but it’s worth a shot. Look, I just needed to get out of here, okay? And I’ve got a new man, he’s got a place up in Minnesota. He’s not like the rest of them, he says he’ll take care of me real good. I just need a fresh start, to get away from all this bullshit. And you’ve always been able to take care of yourself better than I could ever take care of you. Who knows, with your fancy college degree, you probably aren’t ever coming back home. I wouldn’t blame you, Lord knows this ain’t a home and hasn’t been since your father left. I don’t know how to end this, so, I guess this is goodbye.

Your mother.

As the words sink in, you feel like you’re having an out of body experience. It’s like you can see yourself. Abandoned girl left alone in her abandoned home. Nobody cares if you hurt. Nobody cares about you. Everyone leaves. You hear a giggle and whip your head to the side. A ghost of a young girl playing in the shadows, not knowing what sorrow lay in store for her. A girl who once thought of this place as her home, despite all the terror, all the screaming. Despite the harrowing stench of booze and the men that came and went. A girl who was never allowed to forget that her father left her, but never once considered that her mother would leave too.

An ear-piercing, glass shattering scream leaves your mouth. Your lips curl, and then you let out another one. You scream and scream and scream, incoherent and crazed as your emotions finally pour out. Heart-shattering sadness like how you’ve never felt before, so much so that Steve grabs your shoulders and it doesn’t even register to you. It’s all swirling up inside of you and coming out: hurt, sadness, despair, and… Anger.

Some other-worldly strength overtakes you, and you shrug out of Steve’s grip. Grabbing the nearest object from the coffee table, you hurl it at your mother’s abandoned bedroom door with all your might. And then you’re pounding at her door, fists numb to the pain as you punch at the old, creaking wood before Steve’s strong arms grab you by the waist and pull you back.

“I did everything to make you happy, Mom!” You cry, as if it’s her in front of you and not just her bedroom door. “I tried everything to make up for him leaving! I’m the one who cooked and cleaned while you drank! And kept my mouth shut and stayed out of your way! I loved you even when you chose your boyfriends over me! Even wore big clothes so they’d stop staring at me, because I knew it made you angry! I did everything I could, Mom! SO WHY WAS IT NEVER ENOUGH?”

Suddenly, you can’t stand to be inside this dark house. Again, twisting out of Steve’s grip, you dart towards the front door, throwing it open and being met with the cool night breeze. You gasp, breathing as if you haven’t breathed in ages, and that’s when the tears start coming out.

You sink to the ground, which is just a patch of dried-up grass, crying for everything you’ve lost, for everything you never had. Crying for the little girl who grew up in a house that was never a home, and most of all, you cry for the unwavering hope that remained in her innocent heart – in your heart – and how the cruel world around you had snatched it away, chewed it up and spat it back out till it was nothing more than a husk.

Loud, ugly sobs wrack through you. You clutch at the dead grass, ripping it out and scattering it like a madwoman, like someone who’s reached the end of the end and doesn’t know what to do now. You can hear Steve behind you, quiet as if he’s in shock. And then he comes to sit on the ground beside you, his lips parted and his eyes glazed, and he lets you cry as if he knows you need to get it out of you.

And you both just sit there, two kids on a patch of dead, brown grass. Somewhere in between your screams and cries, Steve’s hand slips over yours, squeezing tightly.

You’re still crying softly when he finally picks you up, hugging your limp body close to his chest.

“Let’s go home.” He says firmly.

You look up at him sorrowfully, and you can see the moon twinkling in his eyes. There’s darkness all around you, but through your vision, blurred by your tears, it’s like he’s got a fiery halo around him. And maybe it’s just the dingy streetlights reflecting off of his pale skin as he walks you to his car, but it’s like he’s exuding this intense light. Safety. Warmth. Heat. You cuddle closer, but your lower lip quivers.

“I don’t have a home, Steve.”

He opens the car door and puts you inside, but he still holds on to you tightly, an almost earnest look on his face as he brushes your hair back.

“We’ll be each other’s home. Wherever you are, that’s where my home is. And wherever I am, I’ll take you with me. You’ll never hurt like this again. I promise, I’ll die before I see you hurt like this again.”

He sounds sincere, but you can feel yourself slipping away. Slipping into that dark place, darker than when Bucky had locked you outside of the house and the rain was peltering on your back like hard rocks. A billion times darker than that, and bleaker, like a sorrowful little hole where you just want to curl up in and die. Because what is there to live for when one by one, inevitably, everyone just leaves?

“I don’t want to live anymore.” You say quietly, more to yourself than to him. You close your eyes, willing yourself to somehow just slip and sink your way into blackness, into not existing anymore. “I just want it all to end, Steve. I just want to die.”

From the driver’s seat next to you, you feel a harsh grip on your upper arm. So hard that it pulls you back up to the surface from the metaphorical lake of sorrow you’re mentally trying to drown yourself in. And you see Steve staring at you with an expression of horror, anger and pity as he says your name again and again, sounding almost choked up as he does it.

“Don’t say that. I’ll find her for you. I’ll hire the best private investigator in the country, and they’ll find her and it won’t take long. They’ll find your father too, if that’s what you want.”

You shake your head, “It wouldn’t matter. They don’t want me.”

“Well, fuck them both. I want you.”

You don’t reply, and he shakes you hard before pulling you into a desperate embrace, his hand cupping the back of your head as he holds you against his chest harder than he ever has before.

“I won’t survive without you, okay? I know this isn’t about me but you’re the love of my life and I can’t live without you. I need you with me, okay? Okay?”

There’s a certain desperation in Steve’s tone, as if he’s seen you go to hell and back before and doesn’t want to see a repeat of it. Like he desperately wants to keep you from succumbing to the darkness that’s trying to pull you in like how it had before in the bathtub weeks ago. But you just feel limp in his arms, thinking back to the empty dresser in your mother’s room and how she’d only left you a letter. A piece of paper and that was it.

“Stay with me, okay? I’m sorry for being a fucking jerk and making your life miserable when you were already suffering so much. Just… Just please, don’t shut me out like before. I need you to stay with me.” Steve shakes you again, “I’ll be better, alright? I’ll be better for you and our baby. I’ll give you the life you deserve and I know I’ve been making all these promises but I mean it this time, okay? I just need you to stay with me, omega. You don’t need your mom or your dad, because they’re shitty people and they never deserved you. And you have me. And you’ll always have me, baby. I promise, okay? I promise.”

You sag in his arms, feeling so emotionally exhausted that you’re numb. But his words pierce deep down through all of that, sparking something in your heart through the heavy shrouds of hurt and pain. You remember back when you’d felt this numbness before, in the bathtub after being locked out. Steve had remained silent then, but he wasn’t being silent anymore. Oh, he was giving you hope!

You kick away at the grim reaper’s bony hands that try to grab at you, that are trying to drag you down that same path of sorrow and loneliness. Maybe you’re tired or just delirious from everything you’ve just been through, but Steve’s face radiates with light like the sun. Maybe he is the sun? But it doesn’t hurt to look at him, in fact, it’s the opposite. You feel warmth, fuzziness and lightness cut through and corrode the numbness away. And slowly, fighting through the pain, you surface up and hug him back.

“Stay with me.” Steve repeats.

“Okay. I’ll stay. But it still hurts so much.”

“I know, but I’ll make sure it all goes away.”

Your brain feels like sludge and your body feels like it’s moving through quicksand, but despite it all you manage to squeeze his hand. And then you close your eyes.               All that yelling, screaming, and crying. You want to stay with him like how he asked, but you’re so tired, so exhausted.

“Can I sleep?”

He nods as if he understands, putting you back in the passenger seat and strapping your seatbelt on. “I’m right here, I’ll keep the nightmares away.”

You really hope he does, although what nightmare could be worse than your own mother leaving you?

His warm scent puts you to sleep, and before you fall under, you can see him looking over at you. He strokes your hair gently before starting the car up, and his next words are the last thing you hear before sleep takes you over:

“I’ll take care of you, omega. You’re my family now, and I’ll make it all up to you. I promise.”

***

PART II

You wake up on a king-sized bed, on a mattress as soft as a feather with a heavy duvet on top of you. Soft, satin sheets kiss against your skin, and you bathe in the luxurious feeling for about five seconds before the panic sets in. Panic because Steve isn’t next to you. Your eyes blink open, immediately drinking in an unfamiliar room.

It’s massive. And you know immediately that it’s Steve’s room. You can tell by his scent which is potently covering every object, and the warm heat it brings with it calms you down some. As does Steve Junior, who is also propped up in your arms along with a bunch of Steve’s clothes that have been folded and thrown around you.

Someone had made a makeshift nest for you.

You smile, imagining Steve doing that while you slept. You look around some more. Yes, this was definitely Steve’s room. Minimalistic furniture in different hues of black, white and grey. A large desk with Steve’s laptop on top of it, as well as a framed picture of a pretty woman who looked to be in her early-to-mid forties. His mother?

You get to your feet, limbs feeling sore and weak. The memories of yesterday are clawing inside your head, forcing you to remember but you keep them at bay for just a little while longer. Instead, you grab your phone to check the time, and find a text from Steve too.

Steve: I’ve gone out to take care of something. Don’t panic, I’ll probably be back by the time you wake up. There are some clothes in your size hung in the closet. Make yourself at home and if you need anything and I’m not there, just ask the maid.

You draw back the curtains and almost gasp out loud at the acres and acres of land you seem to be sitting in the midst of. Steve had told you his family owned a house in upstate New York, but this was more of a mansion. No, scratch that, it was an entire estate! With a sprawling savannah of grassy land surrounding it. Did Steve’s family really own all of this? You suddenly feel even more embarrassed about taking him to your former home yesterday. The Rogers family tool shed was probably bigger than your entire childhood home.

Speaking of the Rogers family, you gulp at the thought of meeting them. They’d be here, wouldn’t they? His parents? You catch a glimpse of yourself in the full-length, floor-to-ceiling mirror and wince. Hair poking out in all directions, yesterday’s makeup smudged. Eyes swollen from all the crying, lips bitten and peeling. You glance at Steve Junior, whose unwaveringly honest coal black gaze tells you all you need to know: you look like a sight for sore eyes.

Steve’s bathroom is by far the most lavish bathroom you’ve seen in all your life, with its intricate marble flooring and gleaming gold taps. It’s bigger than your entire living room back at your former home. It takes you a few minutes to figure out how to use the complicated shower, but it’s worth it when hot jets of water shoot at you from multiple directions, and you feel your muscles relax.

Haunting images from the night before flit in and out of your head. Your mother’s empty dresser, the note she had left you. Crying till your throat was hoarse, losing it outside on the patch of grass in front of the house you once called home. But you also remember Steve’s hand squeezing yours, and all the earnest promises he’d made before you’d drifted off to sleep, and you feel yourself calm down.

The sun shines through the window. It’s a new day and you’re in a new place. Miles and miles away from your mother’s deceit and betrayal. You dry off and open the closet, examining the clothes Steve had mentioned in his text. They’re all brand new; leggings and hoodies and sweaters along with branded skirts, blouses and dresses.  You smile, selecting a cosy, plum-coloured sweatshirt and a pair of soft black leggings.

You look at your reflection in his mirror again. Better, but your eyes are still puffy, although there’s nothing you can do about that now. You give Steve Junior one last squeeze and kiss before propping him up in the middle of the bed and making your way out of the bedroom.

Within five minutes of exploring the mammoth house, you realise that navigating through a maze would likely be easier. You just can’t wrap your head around how Steve lived in what was essentially palace, at least in your eyes. Long hallways with thick, plush carpeting – was that where he’d run around as a child? Heavy curtains adorning huge windows, majestic architecture, marble floors, structured pillars, a ginormous grand staircase that reminded you of the one in the prince’s castle in Cinderella. There’s even a fountain in what you assume is the lobby of the whole house – an indoor fountain! Oh, the little girl you’d once been had always dreamed of living somewhere like this. You wonder if these majestic hallways have witnessed drunken mothers and their boyfriends with leering gazes. Probably not. You doubted this sprawling estate dripping with luxury and class had ever known any type of sadness or sorrow.

After walking by several private wings and bedrooms, you find yourself in the kitchen after a few minutes of exploring. You don’t want to be too nosy, but you can’t help it. Everything is tastefully decorated like it’s straight out of an interior design magazine, luxurious vintage furnishings mixed with touches of modernity here and there.

As if on cue, your tummy rumbles noisily. It’s already past noon, which means you’ve definitely overslept. Your hand goes up to cup your belly. “You’re impatient, aren’t you?” You whisper, stroking your stomach before you pause. Had you just spoken to… the baby? Gosh, you hadn’t ever done that before. In fact, there were moments where you felt disconnected from this pregnancy, as if you had yet to understand and accept what it was. It was awful to admit, but there were even moments where you forgot you were pregnant. Like yesterday at your mother’s house…

“Why, you must be Steve’s girlfriend.”

The voice, despite how soft it is, makes you jump. You turn around hastily, coming face to face with a middle-aged woman, and her warm brown eyes instantly remind you of the picture on Steve’s desk.

His mother.

You quickly clear your throat and smile in what you hope is a dignified manner. Immediately, your hands go to straighten any wrinkles in your clothes, and all the while you inwardly curse yourself for not wearing something prettier and more appropriate.

“I’m so sorry, hello, you must be…”

But your voice dies in your throat as you stare into a pale, sickly-looking face. The woman’s eyes still sparkle like the ones in the picture framed on Steve’s desk, but everything else is very different.

She looks incredibly thin and fragile, almost like she’d break if someone folded her in half. Her skin looks tinged a sickly yellow against her pretty pink sweater with elegant pearl buttons. Her clothes are smart and expensive-looking, but they seem to hang off her weak frame. Her face is gaunt, with no sign of the healthy plumpness you’d seen in the framed picture. But despite her appearance, she shoots you a kind smile and it makes her whole face light up.

“I’m Steve’s mother, yes.” She completes, adjusting the expensive-looking silk scarf she has wrapped around her head. “I was waiting for you to come down. The chef has made a lovely breakfast for you.”

You manage to snap out of your stupor, clearing your throat before you speak.

“Oh… uh… okay. Hello, Mrs. Rogers.” You introduce yourself, feeling incredibly awkward. You don’t quite know how to react to what you’re seeing in front of you. Why had Steve never mentioned…?

But Mrs. Rogers only smiles.

“You can call me Sarah, please. Come, let’s sit. I’m afraid I can’t stand for too long, and you must be very hungry.” She pauses, inhaling deeply as if her words have rendered her out of breath. After a handful of seconds, she continues. “You’ll have to help me, though. If you don’t mind.”

You rush to her side, grabbing her frail arm gently and allowing her to rest her weight on you. Her weight which is next to non-existent. It feels like you’re holding a doll. But she leads you to the lavish living room, where there’s an elaborate breakfast spread out on the ornate coffee table.

There are French omelettes and cheesy scrambled eggs and sunny side ups with deep orange yolks. A large pitcher of orange juice with ice, a pot of coffee and a crystal carafe of water. And that wasn’t even half of it – there were stacks of pancakes with knobs of butter and maple syrup dripping down them, and golden waffles with a variety of toppings including fresh berries and cream. Toast cut into elegant triangles, steaming bowls of oats with honey and nuts, and some English muffins with a jar of what looks to be homemade jam next to it. 

You gulp as you help seat Mrs. Rogers down, the aroma of the food tingling inside your nostrils and making your mouth water and tummy rumble embarrassingly once more. Mrs. Rogers – Sarah – laughs, motioning for you to take a seat on the sofa adjacent to the armchair she’s sitting on.

“Please eat, darling.”

You’re too hungry to argue, grabbing a plate and a piece of toast. But Steve’s mother huffs, loading your plate with a bit of everything, until it’s heaving in your hands. You politely take a bite, wondering if there’s an elegant way to eat when all you really want to is shovel this food down your throat. But you try to be graceful, acutely aware of Mrs. Rogers beaming at you as you do.

“I’m so happy to finally meet the girl Steve has been so smitten over.” She gushes, “It’s about time I met a girlfriend of his, and you’re the first one he’s ever brought home.”

“Really?”

“Of course. He talks about you all the time.”

That makes you pause, and you swallow a bite of pancake before looking up at her. “Steve talked about me with you?” You whisper, the shock clearly evident in your tone.

You think back to the whirlwind two months you’ve been with Steve. He’d mentioned his parents a few times, but always as a collective, and he’d never given any details (You hadn’t pressed him because you were shy and also because it’s not like you were particularly forthcoming with details about your own parents). He’d certainly never mentioned that his mother was sick… and you’d never heard him talk to her on the phone or anything. He’d probably done it in private.

“Yes, through calls and emails.” Mrs. Rogers smiles, taking a delicately small sip of water, and your eyes linger on her frail hand as it shakes. “When he first went away for college, he used to come home to visit every other weekend. Not so much anymore, but I understand that he’s busy.” She shakes her head sadly before letting out a chuckle, “I suspect he’s scared to see me in person, considering my current state.”

Your heart sinks. Oh gosh, how had Steve kept something so big from you? How had it never come up?

Mrs. Rogers clears her throat, “Enough about me, my darling. Please, continue eating.” She pauses, either to catch her breath or to wait until you take another bite of food, which you do. “Even if he doesn’t come home as often as he used to, I still call him every week to keep up with his life, and I’ll admit I was shocked when he told me he’d bonded with someone. I told him it was impulsive, that you two were too young. But I’m the last one to question young love.”

She’s silent as she looks at you almost curiously. You can’t hold eye contact with her long, so you just keep your smile up before it eventually fades away, and you look down helplessly. Perhaps she was now seeing all the flaws in you as they surfaced before her eyes now that the two of you were past pleasantries. Flaws and shortcomings that had made your own mother leave you, now Steve’s mother would see them too.

And the images flit back into your head again, your mother’s empty dresser, the note she’d left you, the nonchalance with which she’d exited your life. You feel your lower lip wobble and tears well in your eyes. Oh no, don’t do this here! Not in front of Steve’s mom! Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it!

Mrs. Rogers is stronger than she looks, because before you know what’s happening, she draws you into a hug that is surprisingly tight. You’re rigid in her arms for a second, not knowing how to react. Why was she hugging you? This was weird… You’d never really hugged anyone before, apart from Steve and Peter – but that was different.

It only takes you a few seconds before you sag in her arms. And then the tears won’t stop, and it’s crazy! How could you be crying in the arms of a woman whose problems were so evidently larger than your own? Because at least you had your health! But it feels so alien, how gentle she’s being. How she strokes your hair and whispers “there, there,” to you soothingly.  

“I’m sorry, this is so inappropriate of me…I just met you…” You apologise between tears, but she just shushes you.

“Don’t worry, darling. I can tell that you’ve been through a lot and there’s a lot on your mind.” She strokes your hair out of your face and she gives you a reassuring smile. “Is my son the reason for your tears? I know he can be a bit… controlling. He gets that from his father.”

You sniffle, about to shake your head but she cuts you off, her tone shifting from gentle to serious.

“Now, you listen to me. If my son has you feeling trapped in any way, shape or form, just know that there are ways to get out.” She fishes an embroidered linen out of the pocket of her cardigan and dabs at your tears in a manner that seems so motherly that you can’t help but burst into tears again. “We omegas aren’t as weak as they think we are, and there is always a way for us to flourish, whether that’s with an alpha or without one.”

“I…I…” you try to say something, anything, but all you can do is stutter and cry some more. And it’s embarrassing to a degree, because haven’t you cried enough? And aren’t your problems so trivial compared to hers?

Finally, you shake your head, clutching the pretty embroidered linen as if it’s a treasured family heirloom that she’s bestowed upon you, and not just something she’s given you to wipe your tears with. “N-No, Mrs. Rogers. It’s not like that… Well, at least not anymore. Steve wasn’t so nice to me at first, but now I want to be with him.”

Want to or need to? The shadowy voice inside your head mocks, but you force it away quickly.

“That’s good to hear. And for what it’s worth, I think you and Steve make a beautiful couple.” She pauses, doing that thing again where she needs a few seconds to regain her breath. You wonder vaguely if she’s in pain, but the thought is too depressing for you to linger on.

“Is it the baby?” She whispers suddenly, and her words jolt you upright.

“How do you know about the…?”

Her eyes twinkle, “Well, you just confirmed it, darling. And I confess that I could smell it on you. Pregnant omegas have a subtly different scent, I learnt all about that when I worked as a midwife before I got married.”

You’re stunned, but you manage to nod slowly, “Yes, I only found out a few weeks ago.”

A peculiar look crosses Mrs. Rogers’ face in that moment. Budding excitement makes her smile widely, her beautiful brown eyes lighting up her entire face and taking away that sickly gauntness for a second. Just a second, before something inside her dims, and her smile dampens, as if there’s a ticking time bomb behind her eyes that won’t allow her to get too excited.

“I do hope I’m still here when…” She looks somewhere beyond your shoulder, her eyes shining wetly before she takes out another embroidered handkerchief and dabs at them. “Well anyways, that’s wonderful news, my darling, just so wonderful. I was about your age when I had Steve.”

“You were?”

“Yes. Of course, I wasn’t at college but I was working as a mid-wife when I met Steve’s father and we fell in love.” She pauses, either to reflect on fond memories or to catch her breath. If you’re honest, she looks slightly tired and worn out, as if merely speaking is taking a toll on her and yet she continues because she has to get it all out. “We were married within two months of knowing each other. Of course, I had to leave my job, and I got pregnant that very year. Oh, what an exciting time it was…”

She was definitely reflecting now, and you take a moment to reflect as well. Would you also have to leave college and any prospect of a job now that you were pregnant and had agreed to marry Steve?

“Where is Mr. Rogers now?” You ask, trying not to think too hard about all your current worries.

“Oh, he’s on one of his business trips.” She chuckles, “He wanted to take time off work when we found out I was sick, but I wouldn’t hear it. I just wanted things to carry on as normal, and that’s also what I told Steve last summer when I first found out.”

You nod slowly, trying to take in all the information you’ve just been bombarded with. And oh, you don’t know how to feel! You’ve just met this woman and yet you wish you’d known her longer.

“Mom? Why are you out of bed? You’re supposed to be resting!”

You jump at the sound of Steve’s voice, turning around when you sense him at the doorway. As your eyes land on his familiar frame, your heart skips a beat and you jump once more – but for a different reason…

“Steven Grant Rogers, what have you done to your beautiful hair?” Mrs. Rogers cries out, dramatically holding her hand up to her heart.

Steve’s blonde hair, which had grown longer in the past two months, is now sporting a buzzcut. His light blonde tufts which had even begun to curl up against his collar, now cropped down close to his head. The new hairstyle, paired with his growing facial hair, makes him look so starkly different from the clean-cut alpha you’d grown used to. Not bad different, just different.

Steve runs a hand through his hair (or what’s left of it), “It’s just a haircut, mom. Where’s your nurse?”

“But why? Oh, Stevie, is that where you went off to so early in the morning? To the barber? Darling, you could have just asked me to give you a trim, like how I used to!”

“It’ll grow back, mom, please don’t be so dramatic. Now where’s that nurse of yours?”

“Never mind the nurse, Steve. You’re about to be a father, for heaven’s sake! You cannot go around looking like a troublemaking hoodlum with that haircut!”

“I do not look like a troublemaking–” Steve cuts himself off, looking from you to his mother, “You know about the…?”

“Your baby? Yes, Steven. Your girlfriend and I had a nice long chat before you arrived to shock us with your appalling haircut.”

Steve sits down next to you, taking your hand into his and giving it a squeeze. You instinctively offer him a bite of your pancake, which he accepts, shooting you a small smile as he chews. And it makes your heart all fuzzy, because it’s still him, with his pretty blue eyes and long lashes and full lips. It’s still Steve, just with shorter hair.

“How are you feeling?” He asks you softly, and you give him a small, affirming nod.

His gaze shifts from you to his mother, and you see his face soften even more, “Mom, I told you I’d bring her to your room to meet you. The doctor said you need to rest–”

Mrs. Rogers bats her hand dismissively, “I’ve rested enough, Steve.”

“Where’s your nurse?”

“Oh, her? I sent her home.” Mrs. Rogers says proudly.

“What? Mom, you can’t do that. The nurse is here for a reason!”

“Yes, and I felt it pointless to keep her here when I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. She looked terribly bored anyways, and so I gave her the rest of the day off. And look, I’m perfectly fine despite her not being here.”

Mrs. Rogers doesn’t look perfectly fine. In fact, she already looks more tired and worn out in the few minutes since you’ve spoken to her. But seeing the stubborn resilience on her face makes your heart sink. You don’t know how, but you know exactly what she’s doing. Staying strong, pretending to be brave… For Steve. It’s a maternal thing, you realise – and you don’t know how you’ve come to this conclusion because it’s not like your own mother ever demonstrated this type of behaviour – but you just know.

“How are you going to get better if you don’t do what the doctor tells you to?” He demands, and you see Mrs. Rogers sigh, casting an almost pitiful look at her son.

Steve goes over to help his mother to her feet. And it’s sad to watch, but also fascinating. This is a dynamic that you’ve never seen him in, being so tender with his mother that it touches your heart. And there’s such genuine love in Mrs. Rogers’ eyes, despite how she huffs at his haircut and bats his hands away before eventually accepting them. She stands up, leaning heavily against him.

“Well, I guess I should rest a bit more.” She contemplates, shooting you a wink, “I’m sure you two want some alone time. I remember how it was back in the day, when Steve’s father and myself were freshly mated. Oh, you wouldn’t believe how much we–”

Steve wrinkles his nose, “Mom, please don’t finish that sentence.”

You giggle, and Mrs. Rogers gives you one final smile. And it’s wondrous how her smile seems to bring a glimpse of her youth and health back to her face, albeit fleetingly. Your heart hurts for her, but you also feel a sense of awe and admiration at how regally she holds herself, with pride in every step she takes and kindness in every word she’d spoken.

“Darling, please come into my room whenever you feel like it. I have many stories to tell you, and plenty are about Steve.”

You nod, also getting to your feet. “I would love to hear them.”

“And I’m sure you have a lot to tell me too. I know how stubborn my son gets –”

“Mom!”

“–and I know he’d love to keep you all to himself, but I would love to get to know you better too.”

You watch as Steve leads her away. She pauses when a sudden, wracking coughing spell makes her lean more heavily against her son. Steve freezes, watching as his mother coughs into her handkerchief. You see a flash of red on the white linen before she neatly tucks it into her pocket and clears her throat. It’s only when her coughing resides and she smiles up at Steve reassuringly, that the alpha seems to relax.

“It’s probably just a delayed reaction to your hair.” She jokes weakly, and Steve rolls his eyes before taking her to her room.

You sit alone, making a mental promise to go to Mrs. Rogers’ room at least once a day for as long as you were staying here.

“Steve, why did you never tell me about your mother?” You ask a few minutes later once he returns to the living room.

He blinks, “She’s fine.”

“B-But why didn’t you mention that she’s sick?”

“She’s fine.” Steve repeats, “She’s going to be fine, okay? That’s what my dad says.”

You’d only ever known Steve to be brave, because weren’t all alphas brave? You never knew him to fear anything, and yet right now it was plain as day – the fear and uncertainty glimmering in his eyes for just a moment before he blinks it all away.

“That’s where he is right now,” Steve continues, speaking fast as if to reassure himself and not just you, “My dad. He’s meeting with all the best doctors in the country, and they’ll fix her up easily. That’s exactly what he said, and we have all the money in the world to pay for any treatment or drug or surgery. So there’s no point in worrying about anything, omega. She’ll be fine.”

You feel a surge of pity as you watch him nod reassuringly to himself, and you clasp his hand with both of yours.

“Steve, she–”

“She’s fine, omega.” Steve says for the umpteenth time, and you see that glimmer in his eye again, that almost desperate little glint. A warning bell, or a silent cry for you to drop it. “She’s always been fine, okay? She’s always been healthy and active and all of that, so this doesn’t really mean anything, and you shouldn’t worry about it because it’ll go away soon and she’ll get better.”

You nod, not saying anything more. Instead, you hesitantly wind your arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. You rarely initiate intimacy with him – despite the fact that you crave it so much. Your shyness has always halted you in the past, stopped you from kissing him or hugging him first despite the fact that it was often the only thing on your mind. You’d always wait for Steve to initiate and then follow his lead.

But something had changed between the two of you. Was it in the football field, when he’d professed his love? Was it when he’d walked away from harming Peter? Or was it during the long car journey yesterday, where slowly but surely, you’d let your walls down around him and actually spoken to him. It felt like the first two months of your relationship had been a tumultuous rollercoaster filled with hurt, lies, pain and anguish – along with fiery passion and an intense need for each other. The latter two were still present now, but there seemed to be a deeper understanding that wasn’t there before.

In the span of the past two days, you’d seen sides to him that you’d never seen before. His panic attack after he’d walked away from the fight with Peter, his laidback demeanour during the drive to your hometown. How he’d consoled you after everything that happened last night, and the desperate way in which he’d begged you to stay with him, to not go back to that dark place within yourself. And you? He’d seen you at the lowest of low you could have possibly felt: crying at the foot of your childhood home that no longer was. And you’d asked yourself: where do we go from here?

Steve was changed, and so were you. And that shyness that you felt before, it isn’t all that consuming now as you hug him close, and kiss his cheek.

“She’s lovely, Steve.” You whisper honestly, shooting him a reassuring smile.

“She’ll be fine.” He says, again more to himself than to you. And all you can do is nod as he holds you close, before tipping your head up and pressing your lips against his. And your body shudders in his arms, having missed him this close to you. He returns your kiss feverishly, his big hands rubbing up and down your back in a way that makes you both sigh. Silently, he grabs your hand and leads you back to his bedroom, which is just as well, because this mansion was so massive, you’d have probably got lost trying to find your own way back.

“I booked us an ultrasound appointment for later this week.” He says, and you blink. Oh, right. The baby. Between marriage proposals and fights and road trips and disappearing mothers and mothers with illnesses, you’d once again put your pregnancy to the very back of your mind.

“Oh. Okay.” You aren’t sure what else to say.

Steve clears his throat, leading you over to his bed. He sits down and pulls you into his lap, “Yeah. You’ve had a tough few days and I thought we should get everything checked out. We don’t even know how far along you are.”

You don’t say anything, instead just cuddling up to him even more. Now, with your newfound comfort in initiating kisses, you can’t help but press your lips against his again. You just want to feel him, and feel something that isn’t dread. This morning when you’d woken up, you’d pushed all the bad memories of yesterday aside. But now, they were all coming back. Like sticky, black tar staining the inside of your head, and an evil voice laughing and mocking you…

“Baby,” Steve breathes, slightly pulling back, “How are you feeling?”

Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it. That’s what your mind keeps chanting, desperately trying to erase the picture of your mother’s empty dresser, and her note which you had ripped to shreds. Why did your fingers itch for that note now? Your mother’s parting words to you… maybe you should have kept them safe…

“Your hair’s all prickly now.” You blurt out.

Steve frowns, but he seems to understand that you don’t want to talk about your mother. “You hate it too, huh?”

“No, it’s just different.” You card your fingers through his buzzcut as best you can, scratching at his scalp lightly and it makes him sigh and relax under you. He grabs your other hand, the one that’s not in his hair, and squeezes it in his larger one before bringing it up to his lips. He kisses each of your fingertips, the act so intimate that it sends sparks up your spine. “It’s different, but it’s still you.”

He nods, “I just felt like I needed a change.”

You watch him as he plays with your fingers, his other hand grabbing the back of your neck and tugging you down till you’re lying on top of him, your cheek against his chest. Snuggling up cosily, you listen to his heartbeat, the steady drumming cleansing your mind and making you sigh in relief.

“You look so different compared to the first time I saw you.” You say absentmindedly, thinking back to the clean-cut alpha who had bullied you so horribly those first few months of freshman year.

“Well, I’m not like that anymore, okay? Like I said before, I’ll be different now.”

I hope, I hope, I hope! You think, wanting so badly to believe that… but all you can do is give him a weak smile in return.

*

The days go by quickly at the Rogers’ household. It’s the end of college and the start of summer, but you don’t know how you feel about that. It’s difficult to open up about everything surrounding your mother. A small part of you still wants to call her or leave her a text, but there’s also a part of you that wants to delete her number altogether. But you can’t bring yourself to do it, and Steve, despite wanting you to open up to him, doesn’t press you to do it.

It's comical, in a way. You won’t open up about your mother leaving you, and he won’t open up about his mother being sick. So depressingly sad that it’s comical.

You try and distract yourself from your feelings by exploring the mansion some more. Steve gives you a tour, explaining all the different wings the house has. The east wing, the west wing, the north wing, the south wing – gosh, you’d never stepped foot inside a house so big that it had four separate wings filled with a dozen rooms each. And Steve had grown up here, so it was all normal to him, but you could see the look of amusement in his eyes. As if he got a kick out of you being so entranced by the riches in front of you.

With your hand firmly held in his, he’d shown you the pools (yes, plural), and the indoor cinema (bigger and better than any real cinemas you’d been to) and the tennis courts. Your favourite was by far the ballroom, this gigantic room that seemed to stretch for acres, with shiny marble flooring and vintage chandeliers that held real wax candles.

“Oh, it’s just like a fairytale…” you breathe.

Steve smirks, “My parents used to hold galas in here, but I always thought they were stuffy and boring. They’d force me to come, but me and Bucky would always sneak out and go play videogames or smoke weed.”

You bristle when he mentions Bucky, but soon forget as Steve leads you to another room. It’s a library, and it’s bigger than any you’ve seen before. Bigger than the public library in town and even bigger than the university library on campus. Shelves upon shelves filled with books of all sorts, and oh, you could spend an eternity in here!

“I knew you’d like this room the best.” Steve says, “Some of the books in here are so old, they’re falling apart. But I guess that’s the charm of it…”

Steve tells you that you can use the library whenever you want. In fact, he says you can use the pool, the tennis courts, the cinema, all of it… “It’s your house as much as it is mine,” he says, but you have a hard time accepting that something so big could ever be yours. It’s all a bit much to take in, going from crying on a patch of dried grass a few nights ago to a plethora of riches surrounding you today. But you nod graciously, liking this relaxed and laid-back side of him which you were slowly getting used to seeing.

But it’s when he’s gone that you feel yourself beginning to unravel. It’s when he goes out to the gym or for a run or to his father’s company office, that’s when you feel yourself breaking down from the inside out. You find yourself calling him, texting him, begging him to come back so you don’t have to be alone with your thoughts. And he does come back every time, and he hugs you, and then you feel okay again.

Steve’s mother is also a calming presence for you, despite the fact that it’s only been three days since you met her. She has a nurturing quality that you find yourself gravitating towards. Sometimes, when Steve is gone, you go to her room to keep her company. (Or rather, she keeps you company).

She tells you stories about Steve as a child (“He wasn’t always so big and imposing! Oh no, my Stevie was a late bloomer, but he doesn’t want me telling anyone that!”) and about her days as a midwife (“It was rewarding work. I was sad to leave it behind but I knew that being a mother was more important to me than any other job.”) She also tells you about Steve’s father (“He used to be a lot like Steve, very impatient and hot-headed. But he’s mellowed out a lot now, and he’s the love of my life. I wish he’d hurry up and come home, because he’s been dying to meet you too, and I miss him.”)

She also tells you about how she wishes she’d had a bigger hand in raising Steve. She tells you she’d been exceptionally close to him when he was a child, taking him out to tend her flower garden with her, nurturing his talent for drawing and painting, even teaching him how to sew. But once he’d entered middle school, his father had taken over, wanting to properly teach him how to be an alpha and the man of the family. She said that her and Steve were still close, though, and she liked how he was becoming more sensitive because of you.

You love listening to her speak, and sometimes, even if it’s for just a few fleeting moments, you imagine how your life would’ve been like if she had been your mother. With her soft and caring nature, the way she was so inviting and kind, the way she held your hand and squeezed it, the way she was so forthcoming with her hugs. But then you blink those thoughts away, because a part of you feels like you’re betraying your real mother. The one who had betrayed you by leaving…

On one of your visits to her bedroom, Mrs. Rogers looks at you with a bittersweet smile on her face, “You’re a very good person, you know that?” She says, and you blink, taken aback by the sudden compliment. She pats your hand, “You visit my room more than my own son does, but I know he’s just afraid of the cancer taking his mother away from him, and he doesn’t know how to deal with that…”

You feel a pang of hurt in your heart, both for her and for Steve, but she continues speaking before you can say anything.

“It takes an especially brave woman to deal with someone as stubborn as my son, let alone change him into a better person, and you have done both.” She stops, taking a sip of water from the glass on her bedside table. “But don’t let him dim your shine. I know how hard it is for young omegas like yourself, who feel compelled by their own biology to do whatever their alphas want them to.”

You look down to your lap, not knowing what to say.

“My son is so in love with you, my darling, that it’s truly you who holds him in the palm of your hand, and not the other way around – as hard as that may be for you to believe. It’s the way he looks at you, how his eyes follow you no matter who else is in the room. It reminds me of how my husband looks at me.”

You look up to meet her gaze, and her eyes are shining again, in that special way that makes her look so youthful and full of life. She’s in a yellow cardigan set today, with a yellow rose brooch on her breast.

“What I’m trying to say is, you have no idea the power you hold over him. So, stand your ground and keep your chin up. He can be demanding, but don’t give in to him so easily. Because if there’s anyone who can make him do anything, it’s you. You’re an omega, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t strong and smart and resilient. Remember that.”

You’re unconvinced, but you tell her that you’ll try your hardest to do just that.

*

But you still can never be left alone with your thoughts for too long. Steve is constantly by your side, but it’s the worst when he isn’t. Like now, as you sit on the edge of the bed and wait for him to come out of the shower despite the fact that he’s just gone into the bathroom. But the dark voice in your head is reappearing, forcing you to relive your mother’s betrayal, taunting you about who will leave you next.

Before you know it, you’re stumbling into the bathroom, thanking your lucky stars that Steve hasn’t locked the door. He’s inside the shower, and you meet his gaze with a half sheepish and half desperate look on your face.

“Could I… uh… would it be okay if I joined you?” Your words come out rushed and knocking into each other. You bite your lip, shifting from one foot to the other and heart thudding with nervousness that he’d reject you or laugh. It’s still your default to feel that way, even after everything, and you wonder if you’ll ever unlearn it.

Steve draws back the shower curtain and beckons you inside. You sigh in relief, wanting to be in his arms more than anything else. Your clothes are shed quickly, and you step into the steam-filled shower and straight into his crushing embrace. The water cascades over you, so warm as you bury your face in his chest. He’s so warm, so familiar, so him. You inhale as deep as your lungs allow, his scent rushing past your nostrils and through your system, calming you from the inside out.

“How are you feeling, baby?” He asks, twining your hair around his finger.

You swallow harshly, digging your face deeper into his chest as you try to block that evil voice out, “I don’t know.”

You know you should answer him properly, you know you should talk about it, let it all out. Instead, you grab the bottle of shampoo and squeeze some out. It’s Steve’s shampoo – a 5-in-1 concoction that you’d never use on your own hair. But you lather it on your palm and reach up timidly.

Steve seems to understand what you’re trying to do and ducks his head down, sighing raggedly when your fingers card through his short hair which looks so dark now that it’s wet. And it’s nice, it’s calming, to have something to focus on. His hair is bristly yet still soft, and he inhales sharply when your nails scrape gently against his scalp. He hoists you up into his arms, holding you up against the wall so you have a better reach. He presses his face into the nape of your neck, placing soft kisses on your skin as you continue to wash his hair.

“Please, just tell me what you’re feeling.” He murmurs, holding you close.

You swallow harshly, “I just… It hurts, Steve. It hurts a lot. And I’m trying not to think about it because I feel like I’ll break down if I do.” As if on cue, your voice breaks, and you feel the tears rushing forward again, but you’re happy that the water from the shower washes them away. And Steve’s closeness seems to hold you together, and you clear your throat. “I knew we weren’t close but… But I didn’t think she hated me so much that she’d just leave.”

“I don’t think she hates you.” Steve says after a few beats of silence, as if he’s really trying to think of the right thing to say. “Nobody could hate you. I think she’s a terribly selfish person, but I don’t think she hates you.”

“But it still hurts so bad.”

He hugs you fiercely, whispering “I know, I know” while you stare morosely at the bathroom tiles.

“What if I become like her?” You whisper, and the choked words are almost lost against the pitter-patter of the water. Subconsciously, your hand slips up to rest against your stomach, “What if I… What if I’m just like her, and I don’t care about my baby either?”

“That’s not possible.”

“But what if I do? Steve, sometimes I… sometimes I forget that I’m even pregnant.” You look down in shame, your whole body shaking as you voice this fear that you hadn’t even realised you had until you said it out loud. “I knew I was pregnant for weeks before I told you, but I just pushed it aside. And even now, it’s like I’ll just forget, and then you’ll mention it or your mom will mention it and all of a sudden, I’ll remember that there’s a baby inside of me, and it’s scary and how can I just forget, Steve? That’s not normal, and what if I’m a bad mother, and–”

“Hey, hey, hey, stop it.” Steve shushes you gently, with pillow-soft kisses pressed all over your face and lips. He cups your face in his hands, “Look at me. You won’t be like her, okay? The fact that you’re even worrying about this shows that you could never be a bad mother.”

“But…”

He clears his throat, “You’re the most caring person I’ve ever met. You care even when you don’t realise it. I see it all the time, and before I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. How someone could possibly be so good, so pure, you know?”

You duck your head, but he grabs your chin and makes you look at him. There’s water and steam all around you both, distorting your view somewhat. But his eyes are crystal clear and earnest, so sharp as they cut through the steam wafting between the two of you. So honest, that it makes you dizzy, because you’re not used to his eyes ever looking so honest.

“I know our child is going to be the most loved child in the world, because it’ll be yours.”

“But–”

“You won’t be like how your mother was, because you’re you. And you’re the best person I’ve ever met.” 

Often, for as long as you’d known him, Steve was able to use his words to paint the most beautiful pictures inside your head. False promises and sweet manipulations fuelled by his intoxicating scent and designed to control you and mould the way you thought. Designed to weaken your defences and accept his lies and fabrications. And every time you fell for it; hook, line and sinker.

But the confident easiness on his face each time he lied to you in the past, was now replaced by a look of earnesty. Subtle changes like the softness of his tone, how he’d stop and think about the words he was saying to you. Had he changed? Steve Rogers, the formidable alpha who had bullied and manipulated you beyond belief. Was he changed? Was this really him?

“Do you really want to be a father?” You blurt out, almost scared to ask the question, almost scared to hear the answer. “I…I mean, not just because you’re an alpha and you have this whole plan.”

He frowns, “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” You gulp, “I mean, is it all just for show? You always said you had a plan for your life, and how it included me as the mother of your kids. I-Is it just for show? Or will you actually care for this baby?” And not leave if it’s not what you want?

His fingers, which know each crevice of your body so well, run up and down your sides before his hand splays out on your tummy. And you crane your neck to look up at him, and it takes your breath away, the tenderness you see on a face that’s usually so hard and impenetrable.

“Every time I think about the fact that you’re pregnant and we’re going to have a baby soon, I get excited. And nervous. I guess that’s how I know that this is what I really want.”

He cups your face in his hands, “Even if we never had kids, you’d still be my purpose and I’d still be content. But now that our baby’s in the picture, I know I’m accountable to both of you, and I want to be. You complete me, baby. I promise I’m done fucking around.”

“H-How are you saying all this now? When before you… When before you never did?”

He stares at you for what feels like years, this impenetrable look on his face.

“You told me you wanted to die.”

Your eyes widen and you duck your head, but he makes you look at him once more.

“The night we left your mother’s house, you told me you wanted to die. And I fucking couldn’t stand the look on your face, like you had no hope or happiness left inside you.”

“B-But that was because of my mom, not you…”

“It might as well have been because of me. I know your mom hurt you, but so did I. You had already gone through so much when we met, and all I did was make your life even worse.” He sucks in a breath, swiping water droplets off your face and cupping your cheek, so you can’t look away even if you wanted to.

“I used to be obsessed with my mom’s flower garden when I was younger. I’d always pluck the flowers because I wanted them to be mine, but they’d always wilt and die.” He kisses you, desperately, roughly, as he whispers against your lips, “I don’t want you to die, okay? I don’t want to lose you. And even if you’re physically here but emotionally gone… I think I’d lose it. And I can’t lose it, so I need to be better.”

You surge up and kiss him back doubly hard, your arms winding around his neck and drawing him closer, closer, closer till you both can’t breathe from the rapid, feverish kisses. Wasn’t this what you’d been subconsciously wanting from him since the very beginning? Despite everything, you’d had a crush on him since the start, and how badly you’d wanted him to like you. How badly you’d wanted him to change once he’d claimed you. How badly you’d wanted him to be your knight in shining armour, the gallant prince like from all the fairytales you’d read growing up. Instead, he’d been hurtful and manipulative. But now? Oh, he was saying what you’d always wanted him to say!

“I’m not gonna die, Steve. I promise, I’m right here.”

His dick slips inside you before you even realise it, but you welcome the slight discomfort of his large member easing its way up your hole. He hoists you up higher, pressing your legs further apart so he can drive himself deeper into you. In turn, you wrap your legs around his waist as you both moan into each other’s mouths when he bottoms out inside of you.

“You missed my dick?” He asks you in your ear, and you can feel the smile on his lips, his usual cockiness returning slowly, as if he can’t help himself.

“Y-Yeah.” You answer, despite the fact that you’d last had sex with him only a few days ago after the big game. But it felt like you’d lived an eternity since then, and you wanted him all the time.

“Yeah? You missed how I stretch your little baby pussy out?”

“Yes!”

He sighs, “Good. I missed being inside you.”

He ruts against you, and you have a feeling he’s trying to be slow and sensual but it’s like he can’t help but quicken his pace. You don’t mind, though. It’s like you need him fucking you to clear your mind of all your worries.

“You’re so tight, baby,” he grunts before pressing his forehead against yours, holding your body with just one muscular arm, while his other hand slips down to press against your clit. “So tiny and tight, baby omega. Tell me, does my dick feel good?”

“Yes, daddy,” you sigh, head lolling to the side at the feel of his huge member sliding in and out of you, the friction so delicious, not to mention the sparks of hot pleasure from him playing with your clit. You gasp when his mouth moves to hover over his mark on your neck, and he tongues your mating gland in a way that has you spasming in his arms.

“Daddy wants to eat your pussy so bad, baby girl.” He murmurs suddenly into your neck, making your eyes pop open in shock. You walls flutter around him violently, swallowing his dick in as you grind closer, so utterly turned on by his words. The way he’d gone from earnest declarations of love to “daddy wants to eat your pussy” was admittedly funny, although the last thing you’re compelled to do right now is laugh. You’re way too turned on to laugh.

“Please,” you utter when he goes to pull out of you, grabbing his arm, “Want you to stay inside me, daddy.”

He can’t help but smirk, “Let me make you feel good.”

He sets you down before getting on his knees in front of you. He takes one of your legs, hooking it over his shoulder so your bare pussy is on display for him. Carnally, he licks his lips, and your hands immediately go down to fist his hair. It’s buzzed off, but you make do. You have no choice, because he chooses that moment to wrap his lips around your clit, sucking down harshly.

“Oh, fuck!” You whimper, clutching at his short hair.

“Such a good little girl,” Steve says, voice muffled but it’s like the two of you are in a bubble so you can still hear him loud and clear. “Such a good little baby omega, always so good to me aren’t you, baby?”

He slaps your pussy lightly, a glimmer in his eye as he watches you spasm in his arms. He’s got one hand gripping your thigh tightly as it rests on his shoulder, the other holding your hip firmly so you don’t topple over (which is very likely given the intense amounts of pleasure you’re already feeling).

“Answer me, baby. I need to hear you.” Steve slaps your pussy again, the squelching sound so lewd as your wetness seeps down your thighs. You let out a choked whisper of his name, looking down at him pleadingly but all he does is slap your pussy again, this time squarely catching your clit and making you scream.

“Oh, oh–daddy!”

Steve’s tongue licks up your slit, lapping at your wetness while his hands roam your wet body. Slipping up to squeeze your breasts and play with your hard nipples, twisting them till they’re bruising with pain. But oh, you don’t even care! Your body feels like it’s floating in waves of pleasure administered by him. He grabs your hand and squeezes it, the act so intimate compared to the way he’s lewdly making out with your pussy, and you feel your heart flutter.

He keeps holding your hand, and you stare at your intertwined fingers till they blur your vision. Or maybe it’s Steve sucking on your clit that blurs your vision, his tongue circling around your bundle of nerves, making you so sensitive and bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

And he’s watching you the whole time, watching as you buck your hips into his mouth like you can’t help it. Watching as you cry at the pleasure, clutch at him and squeeze his hand back, and you hold his gaze as best you can. Could he also feel like the two of you were in some sort of impenetrable bubble? Like you’d gone through hell and back and now nothing could touch you or hurt you or interrupt what the two of you had?

“You’re so beautiful,” Steve says quietly, except it’s amplified in your ears. You don’t know if you believe him but his eyes are earnest and shining. You’re automatically about to tell him thank you, except he chooses that moment to press three fingers inside of you, making your knees buckle. But he has a firm hold on you, keeping you in place and pressing kisses all over your hips and thighs before returning his attention to your clit. “So, so beautiful, baby. The most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, and guess what?”

“Wh-What?” you breathe, peering down at him in a mix of awe and lust.

He smirks, “Your little baby pussy’s pretty too. But I wonder if she can take three of daddy’s fingers?”

Of course. Maybe you should grow used to the way he’s seamlessly shifting from romantic to lewd, and you’re even about to crack a smile at how comical his switches are. But instead, you squeak, eyes widening and a cry dying in your throat as he begins to fuck you with his thick fingers. Your walls are snug around his digits, and it burns because his fingers are so big and thick. But you don’t care, don’t care at all! Especially when he brushes that spot inside you that only he could ever find, making you fall forward till he catches you, and you’re whimpering and meeting his thrusts.

“Mmm, what a greedy little pussy, she’s just crying for her daddy, isn’t she?” Steve smiles wickedly, now lazily licking at your clit while he peers down at his fingers entering you at a rapid pace. “Fuck yourself on my fingers, baby. Let me make you cum.”

You don’t need to be told twice, your hips already bucking wildly, wanting his fingers to go deeper. And they’re so big and it hurts so good and yet you want his dick back inside you, which is even bigger. “S-So good, daddy,” you whimper, your body shuddering over how badly you needed this. All the pent-up sorrow, stress, anger from the past few days was all building up and ready to be released.

“Rub your little baby cunt on daddy’s face, omega.” Steve orders you, his voice so deep with lust. Of course, you’re too shy to do that but it’s like he anticipated that. And so he grabs your hips, grinding your pussy all over his face. And you gasp audibly, because he hasn’t shaved for a few days now and his stubble is so deliciously rough. The sensation is new, it’s different but you can’t say you don’t love it. And it’s like Steve’s forgotten about breathing, clutching your ass from behind and squeezing your ass cheeks as he pushes you closer into his face. Your pussy is effectively smothering his face, and you feel his nose nudge against your clit, and his fingers quicken in pace, so deep, so good, and…

You squirt all over his face. And it surprises you how it just won’t stop, your cream squirting out of you at an alarming rate, leaving a thin glaze on his face and catching on his stubble. And he laps at your cunt freely, coaxing your orgasm out of you while you quiver, your knees buckling again. You’re in a standing position – barely – but you can barely feel your legs and you know he’s holding you up otherwise you’d be on the floor right now.

“That’s such a good baby,” Steve coos, tonguing your pussy as it spasms, fingers still fucking into you, “Cumming so nicely for daddy, doing exactly what you’re told to do. You like making daddy happy like that, don’t you, baby omega?”

“Y-Yeah, daddy,” you pant, barely able to breathe let alone hold a dirty conversation right now.

In a second, Steve’s on his feet once more, and he’s got you up in his arms again. Your limbs feel useless, legs hanging as he hoists you up against the wall. But you jolt back into alertness when he pistons his dick inside of you, catching you by surprise. You whimper his name, nails already clawing at his back because it’s too much, your body still recovering from your orgasm. But the feeling is a good kind of overwhelming, as if you can’t get enough of him despite your body twitching in oversensitivity.

You bite your lip, focusing on his arm as it holds you in place against the wall. God, he was so big, every inch of him rippling with solid muscle. And it was such a turn on, how easily he held you up with just his one arm, the other one holding your hip in place while he drove his dick inside you again and again.

“You’re so big and strong,” you blurt out before your eyes widen in alarm at your slip, and you duck your head embarrassedly.

Steve groans, and you feel his dick twitch inside you before he increases his pace slightly. “Fuck, baby, I’m trying to go easy on you. But when you say things like that, it makes me want to lose control.”

“Do it,” you urge him, feeling extremely submissive, “Please, daddy, fuck me hard.”

Steve chuckles, peppering the top of your head with kisses before you look up once more, and then he bites at your lip. “Daddy would love nothing more, baby girl. But I gotta go easy on you a little bit, you know, since I knocked you up.”

And just saying that gets Steve more incensed, and his eyes flutter down to your belly, which he splays his hand over. He starts fucking you harder, his hips a blur as his dick disappears inside you. And once or twice you forget how to breathe, but you still feel safe because you’re in his arms and who needs to breathe when Steve’s there? When he’s looking at you with such intensity? When he’s fucking you so hard yet his thumb is rubbing so gently on your belly?

You cum again before you know what’s even happening, your walls pulsating around his dick so deliciously and it makes Steve’s hips stutter. You cry out his name over and over again, so overwhelmed my pleasure and other emotions. Encased in your little bubble with Steve, where it’s just the two of you and your pants and cries and gasps and moans.

“That’s my good little girl,” Steve praises, his words making you glow despite everything. “Cumming just for daddy. But I want your baby pussy to give me another one, okay, baby?”

“Wh-What? Another…? Steve, I can’t–”

“One more, baby. You can do it for daddy.” Steve encourages softly, and again his fingers slip down to play with your sensitive clit. “Cum once more, baby, before daddy fills you up and knocks you up again.”

Well, that wasn’t entirely possible but with Steve… who knew? And you were still so overly sensitive, but if anything could put you over the edge it was his words. Along with his expert fingers who knew your body so well after two months. Better than anyone else ever did. His thumb rubs at your bundle of nerves, circling and rubbing, pressing down and pinching it till you feel like you’re going to pass out, and it’s too much and yet your body feels like it’s about to spontaneously combust, and…

“That’s my good fucking girl,” Steve says proudly when you squirt all over his dick once more, falling like a dead weight in his arms as your body spasms. Your hips buck wildly and your toes curl as you cum so hard, you see stars. And you whimper your alpha’s name, you whimper daddy as you scratch and claw at him and he holds you close, telling you how good you are for him, how you’re such a perfect angel, and how you did so good.

He squeezes you hard against him as he blows his load inside you, keeping you in place so he can fill you up till the brim. Till thick ropes of his cum cover your insides, searing your walls and marking you as his forever and only his. And your mind is made up that this is exactly where you want to be, and despite all your other confusion, you kiss him fiercely, welcoming the feel of him releasing inside you. And you stay like that for a while, him holding you close while you just hold each other.

“I love you.” He whispers in your ear, his embrace all-consuming as he clutches you against him. Your body is slippery and wet and spent and you cling to him and hum in satisfaction. He pauses to kiss up your jaw before he pecks your nose, “Baby, I love you so much.”

A long pause, and all you can hear is the pitter-patter of the water and the pitter-patter of his heart. You wonder if this is what being content feels like. Just right now, inside this shower where it’s just him and you and none of your other problems can reach you. Where all you can see is him and smell is him and touch is him. Your own personal little slice of heaven, even just for a little while.

You don’t even notice that Steve’s holding his breath until he exhales heavily, and cups your face to make you look up at him. And his voice comes out soft, so soft it’s almost drowned out by the sound of the shower stream.

“You love me too, don’t you?”

You hesitate, a lump forming in your throat and your chest tightening. A billion thoughts rush in and out of your head, creating a whirlpool of confusion within you. You open your mouth, but it feels dry as cotton. And all that comes out is a little croak and a squeak. Oh god, oh god, oh god. Why couldn’t you say it? Weren’t you just thinking of how content you feel right now, with him? So then why the heck couldn’t you say it?

Abruptly, Steve’s hands drop to his sides and he steps away from you. You feel like you’ve been doused by a bucket of ice-cold water at the loss of contact, like the light within you has lost its fuse. You feel an unrest in your bond with him, and you know he’s hurt. Before you can grab his hand, he steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around his waist, avoiding your gaze.

You stand there alone as the water pours all over you, watching as he makes his way out of the bathroom. A part of you can’t believe it, because just a second ago he was being so perfect and honest and raw and intimate, and then you had to go ruin it by being unable to say what he wanted to hear! But he pauses at the door, looking back at you.

“I guess Peter was right, huh? You won’t ever love me.”

“Steve, it’s not that–”

“I’m not a fool, okay? I know I don’t deserve you. I definitely don’t deserve your love after everything I’ve put you through.”

“Steve–”

“But I’m too selfish to ever let you go.”

He leaves, slamming the bathroom door behind him. Your heart jumps all the way to your throat, and you scramble to follow after him. Before you know what’s happening, you lose your balance, slipping on the wet surface underneath you. But you grab on to the shower curtain just in time, steadying yourself and planting your feet firmly on the floor before you can fall. You breathe hard, your heart hammering crazily in your chest. Your hand automatically slips up to cradle your stomach, and you take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down.

Cautiously, almost at a snail’s pace, you turn the shower off and carefully step out of the tub. Every step you take seems to scare you, but you manage to dry off and put your clothes on before entering the bedroom.

He’s gone. The bed is empty and you’re the only one in the room.

Oh God, oh God, oh God… He left! The back of your mind whirs to life, thoughts immediately working into overdrive in five seconds flat. He’s gone! You couldn’t say you loved him and now he’s gone! You pace the room, inky darkness spreading within you like poison. That same hopelessness because it was happening all over again! He left you. And where would he go? What would he do? The image of him kissing another omega flickers in your mind, making you want to throw up.

You rush to throw the door open, peaking out into the massive, empty corridor. Marble flooring, exquisite tapestry and expensive art hung on the wall – but no Steve. You pitifully call out his name, the sound echoing around the hallway as if to mock you.

He left you! The cruel voice inside your head cackles. Your mom left you and your dad left you and now Steve left you too! You feel yourself being pulled under again, by that damning force inside that seems to want you to be sad forever. Your heart feels like it’s being squeezed by the icy cold hands of the grim reaper himself, pulling you down, down, down. You collapse on the bed, curling up into foetal position as you will yourself not to cry.

Eventually, you hear the bedroom door open. You don’t know if it’s been ten minutes or an hour, the haunting voice inside your brain making you lose track of the time. But you feel his strong arms pulling you back up, just like they always do.

“Hey,” He says gently, before frowning, “You’re crying.”

“You left.”

“I didn’t leave, I just…” He grips you tighter, cupping your face and making you look at him, and there’s a certain desperation in his actions, as if it’s dawning on him just how fucked up you are inside. “I just went outside for a while.”

“You were mad at me.” You draw in a breath, unable to look at him. “L-Last time you were mad, you…you…” A feral need to smell him overtakes you, and just like last time, your face collides with his chest, nose twitching as it sniffs all over him. Trying to detect a scent other than his own, the picture of him kissing another omega flashing behind your eyes once more.

But all you smell is a hot summer’s day speckled with cigarette smoke. And Steve’s thumbs swipe away your tears like they have countless times before.

“I’m not mad at you. I was just… mad at myself.” He breathes, an almost pained look on his face as he watches you cry softly in his arms. “Look, I’m trying to change, okay? I want to change for you, but it won’t happen overnight. God, I wish it would, but it won’t. I felt myself getting angry, and so I left the situation. But I was only outside. I didn’t leave you.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t say it, Steve.”

He presses a soft kiss on your nose, then your cheeks, then your forehead. “Don’t be. I haven’t given you a reason to say it. But it doesn’t mean I don’t mean it when I say it.” He sighs, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, a wistfully bittersweet look on his face, “I wish I had been different…”

You don’t know what to say, so instead you just hug him hard, finding solace in his rich scent as you snuggle your face into his sweater.

“I know you don’t trust me. But I promise I’ll be better for you, omega.” The pads of his thumbs never stop stroking your cheekbones, and the action feels so soft, so tender, glass butterflies flying around in your tummy as he speaks. “Remember what I told you outside your mom’s house?”

You sniffle and nod.

“What did I tell you?”

“Th-That we’re each other’s home.”

“That’s right. Which means I’ll stick by you until the day I die. And I know that sounds cheesy as shit but it’s the truth.” He lifts you gently and places you on his lap, wrapping his big arms around you and grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze before bringing it up to his lips. “You know that yearning feeling you get when I’m not here? Where it feels like you can’t breathe?”

You nod.

“Well, I get it too. Probably even more than you do.” Steve kisses each one of your fingertips. “I need you more than I need to breathe. But even if I didn’t need you, even if I could breathe just fine without you… I’d still love you all the same.”

Your heart flutters, and you feel a sudden surge of emotion. This was really Steve Rogers, the biggest bully on campus? It was, it was, it was! And the three words are on the tip of your tongue, and the omega inside of you is screaming at you to just say it, say it, say it! “Steve, I…I…”

But your voice trails off, and you just stare at him helplessly and he stares back, looking both hopeful and knowingly bittersweet at the same time.

You let Steve tuck you in, covering you in your special blanket along with his heavy down comforter. He grabs Steve Junior from the foot of the bed, making the stuffie peck your face with kisses until you giggle. He tucks the teddy bear in against your chest before getting in beside you. You sigh, cuddling into his chest as he lifts you up so you’re resting on top of him, and he kisses the top of your head, and you feel okay.

***

PART III

The stark white lights of the private clinic make you more nervous than you already are. The waiting room is a lot more luxurious than what you’re used to at public hospitals. Plush sofas that are soft as a feather underneath you, yet do nothing to soothe your nerves. You wish Steve was next to you so you could hold his hand, but he’s too busy pacing around the room, a scowl on his face as he checks his watch every few seconds.

“Mr. Rogers?” A nurse appears through the door, her sudden chirpiness making you jump. “Doctor Alam will see you now.”

“Well, it’s about time.” Steve huffs, despite the fact that the two of you have only been waiting about five minutes. The nurse leads you to what you’re guessing is one of the ultrasound rooms, giving you a final smile before Steve pushes you in through the door.

“Steve! It’s lovely to see you again. Come in, come in.” A smart-looking woman in a white coat greets you both, her black hair streaked with white and tied back in an elegant knot. She shoots you a reassuring smile as you hesitate by the door, unsure what to do with yourself before Steve’s hand on your lower back ushers you in.

“Doctor Alam.” Steve nods stoically, pushing you forward. “This is my girlfriend.” He introduces you and you nod, feeling the usual tongue-tied, shy, awkward and stupid.

The doctor smiles serenely, reaching out to shake your hand. “It’s lovely to meet you.” She says kindly, “Why, I’ve known Steve for many years now – being his family’s personal physician and all. I never thought I’d see him settle down, but it’s wonderful to see that he has.”

Her smile falters for a nano-second when she spots the jagged mark on your neck. But she recovers quickly, squeezing your hand in a friendly manner.

Steve clears his throat, “Yes. She’s my girlfriend and she’s pregnant, so do your thing…” He gestures vaguely at the ultrasound machine with as little grace as only he ever could. Doctor Alam raises one perfectly plucked eyebrow, trying to hide the bemused look on her face at his choice of words.

“Well, why don’t you hop up onto the bed here, and we’ll get started?”

“O-Okay,” you whisper, frozen in place as you take in all the fancy ultrasound equipment next to the bed. Steve gives you a prod and you jump before climbing up and lying down, your heart beating like crazy.

“So, I’m just going to ask you a few routine questions, alright?”

You nod.

“It says here that you took an at-home pregnancy test?” The doctor asks, referring to the form the nurse had made you fill out earlier.

You nod, “Y-Yes. I – uh – I took three pregnancy tests and they all came out positive.”

“Approximately how long ago did you take these tests?”

Your wring your fingers nervously, avoiding Steve’s gaze. “I…I’m not sure. I think it’s been a few weeks now.” You quietly wonder if the doctor thinks you’ll be a bad mother because you can’t remember exactly when you’d taken the tests.

Doctor Alam smiles brightly, “Well, soon I’ll be able to tell you just how far along you are. That’s exciting, isn’t it?”

Exciting wasn’t exactly the word you’d use. Daunting maybe. Scary too. You cast a quick glance at Steve, who has taken a seat on the chair next to the bed. He grabs your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. But even he looks distracted and a touch bewildered, his eyes locked on your belly before moving to the ultrasound wand in the doctor’s hand. As if he can’t wrap his head around what’s going on. And neither can you.

Kids, you think to yourself. We’re just kids ourselves. We don’t know what we’re doing.

Doctor Alam squeezes a cool gel on your tummy before she gets to work. The ultrasound wand is cold and foreign against your skin, and so you resort to looking at Steve instead. Not that he’s doing much better. All those football games in stadiums filled with thousands of people, and he never broke a sweat. But now? You can feel a sense of anxiety in your bond, and you know that it’s coming from both of you.

“Aha, there it is.” Doctor Alam interrupts. You turn, not really registering what she’s said. She’s sat there smiling, pointing to the screen and prompting you to look too. “Congratulations, there’s your baby!”

At first, your eyes can’t seem to focus on what she’s talking about. All you see is a black and white screen that flickers and moves every now and then. Swirling shadows that don’t really make sense – is that really the inside of your tummy? You’re about to ask the doctor where exactly this baby is supposed to be, but then she points to something in the middle of the screen.

And then… Oh, and then, and then, and then!

You see it. It’s like a miniature bundle, a tiny little ball – but once your eyes settle on it, it’s like you can’t look away. It’s bobbing, floating, moving slightly! And you can see the heartbeat, actually see it because this little thing is pulsing in the same way a heart beats! Oh God, oh God, oh God! Your hand automatically goes up to your belly, hoping to feel what you’re seeing on the screen in front of you. Steve’s hand falls on top of yours, and without looking at him, you know he can’t take his eyes off what he sees either.

“Whoa.” You breathe.

“Whoa indeed. See, that’s your gestational sac, with the yolk sac inside. And there’s your baby, it’s about 16 millimetres long, which is about the size of a raspberry.” Doctor Alam chuckles as she points out each individual detail. “By the looks of things, you are approximately eight weeks pregnant.”

Eight weeks…

“Two months…” You whisper, before tearing your eyes away from the ultrasound to look at Steve. “But that’s when we…”

“…That’s when we first got together.” Steve completes, a look of awe on his face before he, too, tears his gaze off the screen to look at you. It takes the two of you a handful of seconds to register what that means, and then you see a slow, self-satisfied smile spread across Steve’s face. He leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest and looking extremely smug. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. Doctor, I told her I’d get her pregnant the first time we slept together. Didn’t I, omega? Didn’t I say that? And now–”

His insanely inappropriate words become background noise as you turn back to the ultrasound screen. Your baby, actually tangible and visible and with a beating heart, no less! This whole time, you’d struggled to wrap your head around the idea that there was life growing inside you. What with all the problems with Steve and the confrontations with Peter and your mother leaving you… you’d hardly had time to think about the fact that you were pregnant. All these weeks of feeling like there was a disconnect, like this was something you’d buried to the back of your mind whilst you dealt with everything else. But now…

“I can see its little heart beating.” You murmur in wonder. The little raspberry-sized thing had a heart! And it was pulsing and beating just like yours! This little thing, it was full of life! And it was growing inside you! You feel a sudden wave of protectiveness and excitement, making your own heart flutter in a way it never has before. Had this little thing been inside you this whole time, for the past two months? Depending on you as the main source of its life? Oh, it was absolutely beautiful, wonderful, magical–

“It looks like a lima bean.” Steve comments, but his whole face softens as he smiles at the screen.

Steve and Doctor Alam discuss various things. He wants to know if you’re healthy (you are) and if the baby is healthy (it is) and he also wants to know a bunch of other stuff which you should also probably pay attention to but all you can focus on is your little baby on the ultrasound monitor. You feel oddly light-hearted, but also nervous, scared, excited and in awe. Vaguely, you wonder if this is how your mother felt when she found out she was having you.

Probably not, but you guessed you’d never know. But you do know one thing: hell would freeze over before you’d leave this baby like how your mother had left you. And that’s a silent promise you make to yourself and the life growing inside of you, as you sit there on the clinic bed and stare at the ultrasound. Steve was right, you would never be like how your mother was.

The doctor gives you a picture of the scan in a little envelope when you’re on your way out. You grab it almost greedily, holding it close to your heart and repeating your silent promise to yourself. I don’t know you yet, but I will never leave you. I’m your mother and I promise you I’ll never leave you. Not when you’re four, or eighteen, or twenty-five, or even fifty. I’ll always be there for you, I promise.

Was this what all the biology textbooks meant when they spoke about omegas having a natural motherly instinct? Well, unlike Steve, you didn’t think all omegas were the same. You could only speak for yourself, and all you could say was that this burst of motherly love or whatever it was you were feeling right now, it was quite literally warming you from the inside out. You feel light and excited, holding Steve’s hand and almost skipping out the hospital.

“You look happy.” Steve comments after helping you into the car and clicking your seatbelt in.

“Aren’t you?” You pause, stroking your stomach thoughtfully, “I was so scared of this baby being a reality, but now… Well, I’m still scared now, but I also feel kind of calm and happy, as if this was meant to happen, you know? Like everything’s gonna be okay.”

Steve looks at you for several seconds before his hand joins yours against your belly. He strokes the skin softly, his blue eyes tender, “Well, I told you from the beginning that this was always meant to happen, didn’t I?”

His gaze drops down to your stomach, and he lifts your cardigan up, palm spreading flat across your bare skin. You look closely at his face, how his breathing shallows and his lips part as if in awe. It’s just your tummy, and you haven’t even begun to show yet, and yet he looks as if he’s staring at a shining diamond, and his eyes have stars in them.

“Hey, little guy. Or girl.” Steve says softly to your tummy, and your heart skips a beat at how gentle he sounds. “Hang in there, okay? You look like a lima bean right now but trust me, by the time you come out you’ll be just as cute as your mama.”

You kiss him, catching him off-guard as you surge up and grab his face, pressing your lips against his with an almost carnal desire. But he’s quick to recover, holding you gently in his arms as he kisses you back. And kissing Steve now still makes the butterflies flutter in your tummy just how they did the first time he kissed you two months ago. It still feels so special, so sweet, so right.

“Two months ago, you couldn’t even look me in the eye. Let alone kiss me.” Steve says, between kisses, smiling against your lips.

“Two months ago you were so different.” You answer breathlessly. Hell, even last week he’d been so different. Had the change in him happened slowly, gradually? Or all at once? You didn’t know, but it made you happy to see him looking at you with stars in his eyes and a genuine smile on his face.  

“I’m gonna drop you home so you can rest, okay baby? I’ll join you later tonight.”

You pout. As pathetic as it sounded, you hated it when he wasn’t always with you. “Where are you going?”

He presses one final kiss to your lips before starting up the car, “I hired some movers to bring our stuff over from campus back up here. I gotta be there to oversee it all, make sure they don’t break something or miss anything.”

He was going back to campus? You feel a certain jolt in your heart, thinking about all your things sitting back there.

“Could I come too, Steve?”

“No. I want you to go home and rest.”

“Please?”

“No, omega. I don’t want you to be around a bunch of creepy movers. Not to mention how unsafe it is for a pregnant and fragile little omega like you to be around so much heavy-lifting. What if one of those idiot movers dropped something on you? I would fucking kill them...” His fist clenches against the steering wheel as if he’s already getting angry at the mere thought of that happening.

You bow your head, clutching the little envelope with your baby scan inside it as if it’s your lifeline, “Please let me come.” I hate being alone with my thoughts.

“Baby–”

Maybe it’s the way you sigh and look out the window, already shrivelling into yourself at the mere idea of being by yourself again. When just a few minutes ago, you’d been smiling from ear-to-ear, having seen your little baby inside your tummy. You hear Steve sigh.

“Fine. You can come. But stay near me, and don’t speak to any of the movers. In fact, don’t even go near them, or else I’ll call you an Uber and send you straight back home.”

***

“Well, well, well, Mr. Quarterback finally returns.” Sam grins, coming over to thump Steve on the back. The two alphas hug in that way that boys do, first clasping hands before pulling each in for a one-armed hug. You hang back and smile, things had been icy between Steve and Sam in the days after you got locked out in the rain, but clearly they had patched things up after they’d won the big game.

But what you don’t expect is Sam reaching out and pulling you in too, till you’re sandwiched between the two alphas in a tight, warm hug that you can’t help but return. You feel Steve stiffen, his eyes narrowing suspiciously as he looks from you to Sam. You half expect him to lose it, but after a few seconds he relaxes. But not before lifting Sam’s arm off your waist and placing it around your shoulders instead, and shooting the other alpha a warning look.

Sam draws back and hands Steve a beer, “Here I was thinking we’d all be celebrating the end of college, and the next thing I know I’m in an empty house because you guys fucked off to God knows where.”

Your heart skips at how he’s including you, saying “you guys” instead of just Steve. Sam had apologised to you after the whole being locked out debacle, but you hadn’t spoken to him since. It still felt nice to be included, however, and so you can’t help but smile.

“I just want to apologise again,” Sam says quietly when Steve goes into the kitchen to get you an apple juice, “How we acted with you, and my whole part in it, I really am sorry–”

“It’s alright.”  

The three of you toast to a happy summer to come. Steve and Sam clink their beer bottles against your glass of apple juice. You don’t know if this summer will be a happy one, but you can’t have anything worse happen to you than what’s already happened, right? It was a cynical way of looking at things but you couldn’t help that. On the bright side, at least if someone locked you out of the house now, it would be sunny outside.

The two of you go upstairs to pack. It’s easy enough for you, since you don’t have that much to begin with. But Steve had bought you a ton of new things in the two months you’d been with him, which is why you’re grateful for the new suitcases Steve had provided for you. The old, tattered suitcase you’d lugged along with you on the first day of freshman year could finally retire, along with the memories of what now felt like a past life…

Steve’s idea of packing is throwing everything into the suitcases and calling it a day. The omega inside you is horrified by this, wanting to fold and layer each piece of clothing, each book, each sheet. Savouring the memories behind each item you pack, like your polaroid camera, which you’d saved up for months to buy right before freshman year. It was meant to capture all the fun you thought you’d have…

I can use it when you’re born, you say to your tummy, and I’ll stick polaroids of you into a scrapbook, along with the scan from today. I’ll take some pictures of your dad too. And then when you’re grown up, you can look through it.

Speaking of books, you quietly grab the black sketchbook from underneath the bed when Steve isn’t looking, safely stashing it in your bag.

“Where the hell are those movers?” Steve glances at his watch, “I want to us to get back home before sunset.”

Home. Steve’s house. You supposed it was your home now, but you knew it would take time for you to feel like it was. You peak outside Steve’s bedroom window, taking in the campus courtyard for what felt like the last time. Would you come back here for your second year? How would that even work with you pregnant? How could you ever complete your degree with a baby to take care of too? That is, if Steve would even allow it.

“A bunch of my stuff is still at my old dorm room.” You say suddenly.

Steve wrinkles his nose, “Really? Is it anything important?”

He had slowly moved your things into his room when you’d started living with him, but he hadn’t brought along everything. You didn’t have much, but a lot of your old clothes were still there. Your scuffed sneakers (he’d bought you new ones) and the bag you’d sewed yourself out of your old jeans (he’d bought you a designer one to use instead). You supposed you didn’t have much use for your old things, but they were still yours, and you wanted them.

“Yes.” You say firmly, “Please could I go over there and check over my things?” What would even happen to them if you didn’t? Would they just go in the trash? Forgotten forever just like you’d been forgotten by your mother? No, you couldn’t let that happen.

But Steve shakes his head, “We can’t go right now, I need to be here when the movers get here.”

You bite your lip, “I could just go myself.” Your old dorm room was only on the other side of campus, where the cheaper accommodation was.

“No. You know you can’t go by yourself.”

“But Steve–”

“I said no.”

You sit down on the edge of the bed. It’s been stripped down to just the mattress, but you remember a time when it was covered in your flowery sheets that you’d brought over from your old dorm. A memory. Everything was slipping by so quickly… Your childhood home, your dorm, this bedroom, and now Steve’s mansion. Just for a second, you wish you could freeze time and breathe, and gain a little bit of control over what’s happening around you.

Steve crouches in front of you, taking your hands in his, “Look, I can’t let you go by yourself. The last time I left you by yourself…” His voice trails off and his eyes narrow, and you know he’s thinking of the day of the football game.

“If you think Peter’s gonna come back and take me again, he won’t.” You say, “I think he’s well and truly done with me now, and I don’t think I’ll ever hear from him again.” You can still picture the hurt in his eyes when he’d seen the mark on your neck, and when he’d seen you stay with Steve. From the deepest part of your heart, you mourn the loss of your friendship with him… Maybe one day you could talk to him and repair it?

Steve opens his mouth to say something, and you wait for him to curse Peter out, or say something awful about him. But he pauses when he sees the sad look on your face, and instead he sighs. You know he’s on a path to changing his ways, and you know it’s not easy for him. But you can see he’s trying, with the way his features soften and he kisses your hand instead.

“You really want to go back there right now?”

“Yes, please.”

Steve gives Sam express instructions on how to deal with the movers, telling him that the two of you would be back with half an hour. You figure that’ll be more than enough time to survey over your remaining things and pick what you want to take with you. A part of you feels emotional, as if not just a chapter, but an entire novel of your life is ending and you don’t know if the next book has even been confirmed. It’s weird, this mix of excitement you feel for the future which included the baby in your tummy, and this sense of bittersweet loss you also felt as if your college life was coming to a premature end.

Your dorm room looks exactly the same as how you’d left it. You haven’t been back since the day Sharon confronted you, and Steve had taken you to his house. Smell was the biggest carrier of nostalgia, and here you could smell so many memories… A girl, once eager and hopeful, happy to be at a prestigious university and away from the demons she’d left behind at home. Oh, you’d been so excited to live on your own!

“I don’t like being in here.” Steve says, clearing his throat uncomfortably and reaching out to squeeze your hand. “I was an asshole to you in this room.”

You turn back to him, and the two of you share a meaningful look where a lot is said despite nothing being said out loud at all. You know he’s sorry, you can see the remorse on his face and you can feel it in the bond you share. You know he wishes he could take it all back, and you wish to God that he’d been then what he was becoming now.

You grab your DIY bag made out of your old, patchy jeans, and a few of your hoodies which you’d stopped wearing and left behind because Steve had bought you new clothes. You rifle through all your old keychains and knick-knacks, remembering how Steve had done the same thing when he’d first come here. Moving on to your desk, you see the old notes still strewn about on the wooden surface, including the essay plan you’d so meticulously constructed for Steve when he’d come over for “tutoring.”

“You’re reliving old memories, aren’t you?” Steve asks tonelessly.

You nod. There are bad ones, but you try to focus on the good: your first time kissing him, how he’d gifted you Steve Junior…

His arms wrap around your waist from behind, and he hugs you hard. Holding you, rocking with you while you both seem lost in thought. His hand slips down, fingers splaying out over your stomach.

“We’ll make new memories. The three of us.”

That makes you smile. “Really, Steve?”

“Yes. I’ll be better. I swear I will.”

You pack your bag with the few belongings you want to take with you. Steve tries to help, but soon gets a call from the movers.

“What do you mean you can’t fit the bed frame into the van? Have you tried using your brain and maybe dismantling it?”

The response is cut up and almost inaudible, the connection extremely weak. He frowns, “I can’t hear you.”

More muffled sounds.

Steve groans, “Baby, I’m gonna take this outside, okay? Stay in here.”

You nod, distracted by all your old things surrounding you. You’ve always been a sentimental person, romanticising mundane things that other people wouldn’t glance at twice. Like your bottle of cheap suppressants that Steve had rattled around and looked at with such disdain. Your old keychains, your empty lip-glosses, you don’t know how long you sit there and reminisce about your old life that seems like it was ions ago instead of just a few months.

You don’t even hear the door when it opens.

“You know, this is how I always imagined it.”

His voice sends shivers down your spine, a coldness spreading through your veins that’s as icy as his eyes. You swallow, turning around slowly and holding on to the hope that maybe it’s not him. Oh God, please let it not be him. But it is.

Bucky stands at the doorway, a glint in his eye as he looks you up and down. You feel a sense of impending doom, your heart sinking down to the depths. Oh, but shouldn’t you have expected this? He was, after all, one of the problems you’d pushed aside, tried to run away from. Out of sight, out of mind – and yet here he was now. You swallow harshly, and you will yourself to be brave despite the fact that your hands are shaking. You don’t want him here; you don’t want him near you.

“Wh-What are you doing here?” You ask, hating how your voice comes out shaky.

“Sweetheart, it’s been weeks since we last spoke. And you can’t even say hello?” Bucky smiles, but there’s something wooden about it, something off. Something you can’t really put your finger on or even care to. “I mean, Sam got a hug from you. I saw it. I’m sure I should get the same treatment, right? Or maybe something more…” Calmly, he shuts the door behind him, and then you hear the click of the lock. Your heart jumps to your throat, panic beginning to set in. It’s okay, Steve’s only just outside, you think to yourself.

You clear your throat, narrowing your eyes in a bid to look more confident than you’re actually feeling, “The last time I saw you, you locked me out of the house in the pouring rain.”

He steps towards you and you instinctively take a step back. He notices and smirks, as if he finds your actions amusing. “Oh, right. I feel bad about that, but you were getting too big for your boots, sweetheart.”

“Just because I refused to kiss you?” You feel anger at his words, and it overrides your fear for just a second. You remember him twisting your arm when you didn’t kiss him, remember how he’d slammed the door in your face, how he’d sat there scrolling nonchalantly on his phone while you pounded at the door, drenched in the rain and begging him to let you in. Oh, how you wish you weren’t a weak omega just for a few moments, just so you could stand toe-to-toe with someone like him!

Instead, you cower as he crosses the room, and he’s only inches away from you when your back hits your desk and you can’t back away any more. And that’s when he smirks, reaching out to move your hair out of your face. You blanche, feeling your skin crawl at his touch.

“I saw you first.” He breathes.

“Th-That doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” His eyes flutter shut for a second and he inhales deeply, “You smell so fucking sweet. The day I first saw you, all I could think about was how beautiful you were, and how badly I wanted to smell your scent but you were on those damn suppressants.” He opens his eyes and you see them darken, “Steve could smell you immediately, and I hated that. I hated that he was the only one who could.”

“Bucky, he’s right outside. He’ll be back any second.”

“He gets everything he ever wants,” Bucky’s tone hardens, and he surges forward, pressing up against you. You struggle against him, trying to somehow squeeze out from between him and the desk but he grips your arm, digging his fingers into your skin painfully to keep you in place. “Ever since we were kids… He got everything. A better car, a higher allowance. He got better girls and better grades and they made him the captain of the football team.”

Your jaw would have dropped open had it not been frozen in place with fear. Seriously? Those were his problems? That Steve had a better car? If you weren’t so scared out of your damn mind, you would’ve laughed. Somehow, you doubt Bucky ever had an alcoholic, absentee mother with a string of abusive boyfriends. You doubt his parents had ever left him. You know he’d never grown up in poverty, you know he’d never been bullied relentlessly. Oh, you wish you had his problems…

“But then you walked in and I called dibs and for once, for fucking once… I had something he wanted.” Bucky’s finger trails down your arm before he grabs your waist, pushing himself into you. You gasp, fists going up to his chest to push him off you but to no avail. Oh God, where was Steve?!

A bitter laugh escapes from Bucky’s throat, “But of course, he lied and manipulated his way into claiming you too. Down to his core, that’s who Steve is. That’s what he does.” His icy blue eyes look distant, as if he’s in another dimension inside his head – that’s the only way you can describe it. But then he snaps back to peer at your face, excitement covering his features and chilling you down to the core as you cringe away from him, subconsciously patting at the envelope containing your baby scan inside your pocket, as if to calm yourself down.

“But this isn’t about Steve, sweetheart. This is about you. Little Miss Omega who’s gotten too big for her boots. You got with an alpha and all of a sudden you think you’re the queen of the world, don’t you?” He yanks at your hair, and you cry out in pain as he drags you to your old bed.

Cold, incapacitating fear overtakes you when he pushes you down on the mattress. You land on your back with a thump, immediately trying to roll away but he grabs your leg and pulls you back before climbing on top of you. Oh no, oh no, please. God, please no…

“Bucky, don’t do this!”

“You think you’re too good for me, huh?” Bucky sneers, his face inches from yours. His hands move to grab your cardigan, ripping it apart. He doesn’t even flinch as the buttons fly everywhere, smirking maniacally down at you as you scramble to hold your tattered cardigan together. “You think you’re too good to kiss me? Well, sweetheart, I’ve dreamed of this moment. And I assure you, we’ll be doing a lot more than just kissing tonight…”

“Bucky, don’t! I’m pregnant, okay? I’m pregnant!” You scream out desperately, hoping and praying that he’d have a little bit of sympathy inside him to just stop. If not for your sake, then maybe for the sake of your unborn child. He wouldn’t hurt a pregnant woman, would he?

Bucky does stop, for just a moment. His hand freezes in the middle of trying to peel the remains of your cardigan off you and you see something register in the depths of his pale, icy eyes. But it only lasts a nanosecond, before they cloud over and he smiles, pressing his forehead against yours. “That’s okay, sweetheart. We’ll just pretend it’s mine.”

Oh, he was crazy! Utterly and completely crazy! And you don’t know what to do! Because when have you ever gone into a confrontation and come out on top? Hell, you couldn’t even hold your own against another omega like Sharon… let alone an alpha twice your size like Bucky. Steve, where are you? Please save me, please, please, please!

“Bucky stop, okay? I know you’re mad at Steve and… and you’re upset you didn’t get what you wanted b-but this isn’t the way to–”

He kisses you. And oh, it’s horrible! It feels like you’re being squeezed into a tight black hole where you can’t breathe and you can’t move and it’s just so wrong. Everything about it is wrong, like two misfit pieces from opposite ends of a puzzle. He’s rough yet almost robotic with how he kisses you, his kiss lacking any of the passion and fire you feel with Steve. It’s even worse than when Peter kissed you… oh, because Bucky’s kiss feels like it’s charged with hatred, and anger, and malice, and–

“GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!”

You push with all your might, the shrillness of your words surprising you both. It catches him off guard, and you do something you’ve never done before in your life. You spit right in his face, sneering up at him defiantly. You’re sick of every single one of these fucking men kissing you when you didn’t want them to. Enough was enough.

“Little Miss Omega likes to play rough, huh?” Bucky quickly recovers, wiping your spit off his face and keeping you pinned down underneath him, “That’s alright. Fight against me all you want, but you and I both know you’re just a weak little omega. You never stood a chance, sweetheart. Not against any of us.”

Long ago, when you’d been standing on the porch in a thunderstorm, you’d made a promise to yourself to never beg him again. Something had snapped inside you then, flushing out all hope from inside you. Something snaps inside you now, too. But it does the complete opposite.

“You’re right, I’m weak compared to you. But at least I’m not pathetic.”

Bucky scoffs, opening his mouth but you beat him to it.

“I used to be scared of all of you alphas. You all looked so strong, powerful and untouchable to me. But what I’ve realised is that each one of you is more insecure than the next. Especially you, Bucky. And I feel sorry for you, because I can take all the bullying and the harassment and everything else that’s happened to me, but you can’t take even the slightest bit of rejection. You’re pathetic.”

He pauses, regarding you with narrowed eyes. And again, you see a semblance of something human glimmer across his face before his features twist into a snarl. “Save the condescending philosophy lesson for later, sweetheart. I’m not interested.”

He tries to kiss you again, but you turn your head because hell would freeze over before you let someone kiss you unwillingly again. His hands are all over your body, trying to get your clothes off you except you don’t give him a chance. You thrash wildly underneath him, something feral taking over from inside you. This wild survival instinct, this need to keep yourself and the baby safe. And the whole time during this physical tousle, you’re thinking: please don’t let him hurt my baby, please let my baby come out of this okay, even if I don’t. I don’t want to lose it… I know I didn’t pay attention to it at first, but I don’t want to lose it. Please, please, please, I don’t want to lose my baby.

“Let me fucking have this!” Bucky roars, pinning your hands over your head. You can feel the tears well in your eyes but you don’t want to spill any over him, over this. He roughly kisses up your jaw, “I went home these past couple of weeks to clear my head, and all I could fucking think about was you. I wanted you first, so just let me have this, okay? Fucking kiss me back! Spread your legs for me like you did for the first alpha who ever glanced your way.”

“STEVE!” You scream, growing more desperate by the second, “STEVE, PLEASE HELP!”

Bucky laughs wickedly, “He’s not coming to save you, sweetheart. I made sure of it.”

His words unlock something even more feral in you, but it’s when he splays his hand over your tummy that you completely lose it. In a way you never have before. How dare he? How fucking dare he?

“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!”

You ram your knee up, catching him straight on his crotch. Bucky grunts, falling on top of you. His hands let go of yours as he goes to clutch between his legs. You try to push him off you but he’s too big, too heavy.

“You stupid fucking slut,” Bucky swears, trying to grab at you with one hand but you know this is the only opening you’ll ever get. His face is grimaced in pain, and you’ve never been a violent person but you figure now is the best time to change that. You scratch at his face, shoving and pushing at him to get him off you. He grabs your wrist again, but you assume you got him hard on his crotch because it’s thrown him off his game. And you knee him again, this time catching him in his abdomen. The kick isn’t too hard, and Bucky barely flinches but it does distract him enough to allow you to slip out from underneath him.

You run to the door, managing to unlock it before Bucky grabs you by the waist and pulls you back. And now you really feel like crying, because you were so close… So fucking close…

Was this how it was going to end? Had God really written this in your fate? On top of everything else shitty that had happened to you since the day you were fucking born? No, it couldn’t be. You wouldn’t let it. You were sick of bad things happening to you while you stood there and cried and let them. If he was going to do this, you were going to fight till the end. You owed that to yourself, and your baby too.

“I hate you, you pathetic piece of shit!” You spit out, clawing and writhing as he half drags and half carries you back to the bed. Never in your life have you called anyone such a name but it just comes out of you with such vitriol, born out of both the fear and anger you feel right now. “I was only ever nice to you, despite how awful you all treated me! But you just can’t take rejection, and that is not my fault! You’re a pathetic, privileged jerk!”

“You could’ve loved me if it weren’t for Steve.” Bucky sneers, pulling your hair back and scowling at Steve’s mark on your neck. He bares his teeth, poised to bite. No, no, no, no! You punch, kick, writhe, claw, and–

“Are you done packing? Some asshole slashed my tires and–”

It’s like the whole world freezes when the door opens and Steve steps into the room. You freeze mid-fight, and Bucky does too. Steve does too. Pin drop silence. Not a single sound. Just the three of you staring at each other. And then…

“See what your slut of an omega is capable of, Steve?” Bucky says, gesturing at you while your jaw drops open in shock at what he’s saying. The brunette alpha’s eyes are as wild as his hair, and he’s breathing hard with an almost maniacal look on his face, “You see? Do you see this, Steve? She couldn’t wait to get on my dick the moment your back was turned. Guess you were right about her being the campus slut after all.”

For a moment, you’re rendered speechless. You watch Steve closely as he takes in what’s in front of him. You and Bucky on your bed, him practically on top of you, your hair dishevelled, your cardigan torn in half with the buttons broken. Oh no, Steve couldn’t possibly believe…?

“No.” You say firmly, your voice unwavering because if there was ever a time for you to be as clear as possible, it was now. “He’s lying. He came on to me, Steve. Like he’s been doing for months now.”

Bucky scoffs, “Oh yeah? Is that why you never told him that until now?”

Steve is motionless, stoic and his expression unreadable as he looks from you to his best friend and back to you again.

“Steve, he attacked me.” You look squarely into your alpha’s eyes, trying to sound confident but you can’t keep the desperate plea from your tone. “He’s been acting weird with me behind your back for months, and I know I didn’t tell you and I tried to brush it off but–”

“She’s a fucking liar,” Bucky cuts you off, “A fucking slut who wants two alphas at the same time. Me and her have been flirting for months behind your back, and she was enjoying every second of it, that’s why she never told you. She’s a goddamned slut, Steve, and she fooled us both with her innocent act.”

Each lie is like a punch to your gut, and you turn to stare at him in complete dismay. You could not fathom how someone could lie so cleanly, so unashamedly. And Steve? Why wasn’t he saying anything?

“That’s not true…” You say softly, not having it in you to say anything else.

“It is true, and you know it’s true, Steve,” Bucky claims, and he looks calmer now, as if he knows Steve will believe him and it breaks your fucking heart, the broken pieces sinking down to the depths of your tummy. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Steve, you know that–”

“Omega, step out of the room.” Steve says quietly. It’s an alpha command, because you feel your legs moving before you know what’s happening. You cross the bedroom, trying to catch Steve’s gaze but he won’t look at you. His eyes are locked on Bucky.

What follows is total carnage. The moment you cross the threshold, stepping out of the room and out of harm’s way, Steve attacks. Letting out an almighty snarl, he shoots across the room, pouncing on Bucky like a rabid animal. Bucky, clearly not expecting the attack, crashes to the ground with Steve on top of him. You wince when the brunet alpha’s head hits the floor, but Steve looks possessed, his face red and eyes narrowed to slits. And he throws punch after punch against Bucky’s face, and you can hear the repeated crack of his fist against his jaw.

You press your hand over your stomach as if to shield it, knowing you can’t step back into the bedroom to stop them even if you wanted to.

Bucky recovers quickly, and it’s different from Peter because Bucky matches Steve’s size and strength. He punches Steve back, his face screwed up in disgust as if he can’t fathom why Steve is attacking him.

“You’d believe her over me?!” Bucky roars, “You pussy-whipped piece of shit, you’d believe that slut over your best fucking friend?!”

“DON’T YOU FUCKING TALK ABOUT HER!” Steve’s voice rings across the whole room, and probably the whole building.

Bucky coughs, his lip swollen and his eye already blackening, but he’s still fighting back. “She’s a slut, and you’re a fucking joke for defending her–”

CRACK.

You’re sure Steve has broken Bucky’s jaw with how hard he punches him and how sickening the crack sounds. And he doesn’t stop there, grabbing Bucky by the throat while the brunet tries to recover underneath him.

“Don’t – you – ever – fucking – touch – her – again – you – piece – of – shit!” Each word is enunciated with Steve slamming Bucky’s head on the hard wood floor. And you look on in absolute horror, feeling torn because you hate Bucky with everything you have, because he’d just assaulted you and lied and he’d been awful to you and didn’t he deserve this? And yet you can’t bear to see such a display of violence…

“You always got everything!” Bucky sputters, and this admission catches Steve off-guard enough for Bucky to shove him off and tackle him to the ground, and now it’s Bucky’s turn to throw the punches, battering Steve’s face with renewed vigour. “You can’t have her too, you can’t–”

And you almost step back into the room, but you know you can’t put yourself and your baby in danger like that. You desperately look around, seeing if you can call for help. But who would come between these two alphas? And deep down, you knew they needed to hash it out.

They fight and fight, throwing punches and slamming and tackling each other all over the room. Swearing and cussing, spitting out words of venom. You run down the hall, banging on the other doors, hoping someone would help and break them apart. But no one answers, and you know no one would come within ten feet of two furious alphas.

You run back to your dorm room, making sure to stay outside just like Steve told you to. But your heart lurches at the bruises on Steve’s face, the beginnings of a black eye forming as Bucky continues to hit him.

“Stop!” You scream at Bucky, “Please, leave him alone!”

It’s like your voice snaps something inside Steve, and with the strength of his whole body, he pushes Bucky off of him. Smooth as a panther, he gets to his feet, landing several hard kicks on his friend’s ribs and abdomen. His face is battered and angry, feral yet still unreadable. It’s his best friend he’s fighting, and you can see that in how his features twist in disbelief mixed with animalistic fury.

And it’s with that same blind fury that he picks up your entire desk like it’s nothing. And you look on in horror, watch all your books and notes fall to the ground. Bucky looks too, his mouth bloody and parted in dismay as Steve lifts the heavy wooden desk over his head, poised on top of Bucky’s twitching body.

“Steve, don’t! You’ll kill him!” Or at least cause irreversible damage.

“He deserves it. He hurt you.” Steve’s voice comes out menacing as he looks straight at Bucky and only at Bucky, “All this fucking time, and right under my fucking nose...”

He kicks Bucky again, hard on the stomach and Bucky doubles over in pain. And Steve still stands over him, still gripping the huge desk as if it’s nothing. And you can’t imagine the damage he’d do if he let it fall on Bucky’s head, let alone slam it down with force.

But something seems to snap in Steve when he sees Bucky bent over in pain before he lies flat as if he’s resigned to his fate. And there’s blood gushing out of Bucky’s nose and his mouth, and his face is almost beaten to a pulp, and his eyes look glazed over, barely alert.

With a sigh, Steve sets the desk back down to the side, and then collapses next to Bucky. Sat down on the floor next to his friend who twitches in pain, and Steve looks at him in both disbelief and pity.

“You were my best friend.” Steve whispers, and it comes out broken and resigned. They stare at each other for a few seconds, and then neither of them says anything more, and Bucky turns away on his side, and Steve gets up and leaves him.

He makes his way to you, and you rush over to him. For a handful of moments, no one speaks. He hugs you hard, harder than usual but that’s not very shocking given the circumstances. He takes his jacket off and helps you put it on, and you welcome the warmth it brings you, his rich scent calming you down.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“Yes. Are you?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you from him before.”

“That’s alright, you didn’t know.”

Steve refuses to look at Bucky even once more, and you know it’s because he’s afraid his anger will make him do something he’d later regret. So it’s you who uses Steve’s phone to call Sam to come help the brunet alpha, who is teetering on unconscious but fortunately still alive.

“No one’s gonna hurt you again.” Steve vows, holding on to tighter than ever, and you lean into him, burying your face in the crook of his neck. Warm, safe, relieved, you feel all of it as your adrenaline finally begins to come down.

“I know they won’t. I won’t let them, and you won’t either. I’m glad it’s all over now.”

***

The sun is shining as you and Steve set out across the grounds of his family home. The gardens stretch out across acres, so beautifully kept and flourishing, yielding all types of different flowers that are in full bloom. As you walk across what looks to be an entire field of yellow roses, you notice that Steve plucks one out every few steps, till he’s got a bunch of them grasped in his fist, and with gentle hands he expertly picks the thorns off.

You stop at a patch of green grass under a pretty looking tree, and that’s where you set your picnic basket down. Steve Junior smiles up at you from inside the wicker, and he seems to begrudgingly extend that smile to Steve too, which makes you happy. Steve helps you sit down as the sun splashes down on all three of you, and a gentle breeze makes your dress flow.

It’s been weeks since the whole ordeal with your mother leaving and then with Bucky. The first few days immediately after it were tough, as both you and Steve came to terms with different things. Steve went through periods of anger so strong, he wanted to get in the car and pay Bucky another visit. He couldn’t believe what Bucky had been doing to you behind his back, and once you told him the details, he was nothing short of livid. You’d often find him just sitting there, deep in thought about it all, formulating plans of revenge and plotting to take Bucky down. You told him that Bucky’s own insecurities and bitterness were his downfall, and to not worry about him anymore. You certainly wouldn’t.

As for you, you found that your mother leaving you would always linger in the back of your mind – at least for the foreseeable future. That made you sad, but you also found that it wasn’t too hard to continue life with this information. At first, you didn’t know what you wanted to do. Track her down and yell at her for being so heartless? Ignore her existence and carry on, just like how she was doing with you?

Well, you decided to take it one day at a time. And you’d already spent one whole year of university without your mother, and in a way, it was practice to what was now becoming your new normal. Despite her imperfections and shortcomings, it still sucked being left behind by her. But all you could do now was slowly piece yourself back together and hope that you’d never have to go through anything traumatic like that ever again.

To his credit, Steve did his best to distract you in the weeks following that fateful visit to your childhood home, as well as the ordeal with Bucky. Or maybe he was trying to distract himself from his own worries and concerns… about you and about his mother, and about his former best friend. True to his impulsive style, he’d wanted to take you on vacation right away for a change of scenery, as an escape. You told him that his family’s mansion was vacation enough for you, what with the gazillion pools and the luxurious interiors and hundreds of other features which you had yet to explore.

It's in these few weeks that you got to know Steve ways you never had in the two months you’d known him prior to this. The two of you went swimming together in one of his pools (Steve wouldn’t let go of you at first, afraid that you’d drown or somehow put the baby at risk. But he changed gears pretty quickly once you beat him in a freestyle race, although he scoffed and claimed he was going easy on you).

You cooked together too (well, it was originally just you cooking, as you always did for him, but Mrs. Rogers pushed him into the kitchen to help you, and once Steve saw how sharp the knives were and how hot the oven was, he immediately put himself in charge. “Try the mashed potatoes, Mom. I made those,” he had boasted over dinner that night, and his mother had smiled at him indulgently, and shot you a wink).

You also gave him his sketchbook which you’d retrieved from under the bed. He was shocked that you knew about it and that you’d brought it back, and you told him how touched you were seeing how much he’d drawn you and how talented he was. He played it off at first, tossing the sketchbook aside and telling you he didn’t draw much anymore. But then one day you caught him sketching what you guessed was his mother. In his sketch, she was on her feet, pretty and full of life. Dancing amongst a flower garden, a little blonde boy holding her hand. It moved you so much, you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around him tightly, as if to tell him that it would all be okay. In those moments, you felt more bonded to him than the mark on your neck ever made you feel.

Speaking of Mrs. Rogers, her health remained the same. But she did seem to light up when Mr. Rogers finally came home. You were so shy, especially when you noted the formal way in which he greeted his son. Steve’s dad looked a lot like Steve, just older and more mellow, a touch of sadness in his eyes. But he greeted you warmly, and told you that he was happy his son had found you.

 And then he turned to his wife, and it was amazing how his face morphed completely, as if he had hearts in his eyes. They’d left you and Steve to your own devices, and later, when you walked by their room, you saw them dancing together. Well, she was fragile and weak, and stood on his shoes while he moved around the room. But it was very cute, and you weren’t used to seeing parents love each other like this, and so you stood transfixed for longer than you cared to admit. And then Steve dragged you away to go do some activity around the house. 

Nevertheless, slowly, in these past few weeks, you’d begun to feel happy again. It happened very gradually, and yet so naturally at the same time. You allowed yourself to enjoy this new side of Steve, this loving and laidback side of him that you just couldn’t get enough of. You found yourself waking up and looking forward to spending the day with him, finding out what activities he had planned for the day, giggling at the thought of doing something fun or romantic with him.

Today’s activity was a picnic in the Rogers’ family estate’s never-ending gardens. Steve had picked out a pretty yellow dress for you (it was too hot for a hoodie) and he’d helped dress you, too. He was treating you like you were made of glass, babying you more than ever before. You wondered whether it was because you were pregnant, or because of everything you’d been through. Either way, you liked how he sat you in his lap and cooed at you as he slipped the lacy socks on your feet, how he kissed your neck and told you how beautiful you were. It made you feel special, how only he could.

“For you.” Steve holds out his makeshift bouquet of yellow roses, all but thrusting them into your hands with comical haste, as if he’s afraid something will come up and snatch them away. But you accept them happily, admiring how pretty they look.

“They’re beautiful,” you bring them up to your nose and give them a delicate sniff, “Yellow is the colour of hope.”

“It’s also your favourite colour.”

You nod, pleased that he knows this. “It is!”

It’s when you’re both sat down under the tree, that he takes both your hands in his, and looks at you with meaningful eyes.

“I don’t think you know how much you mean to me.”

“Steve–”

“I love every single thing about you. I love how brave you are, and how resilient no matter what life throws at you.” He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, “I love your eyes, your nose, your mouth,” he kisses each of the features that he’s listed down, till you’re giggling and looking up at him in awe. “I love how smart you are, the way you knew all the answers during classes but you were too shy to raise your hand. I love how you mouthed the answers to yourself anyways, and I love how you were always right.”

You feel a surge of emotion, but he’s not done.

“I love how you rehearse your order under your breath whenever we go out to eat, and I love how relieved you look when I order for you instead. I love your big hoodies even though I told you before that you shouldn’t wear them. You look cute in them, actually. I always secretly thought that.”

He takes a velvet case out of his pocket, and your breath catches in your throat. Whatever you were going to say dies away, and you look on as he opens the box. The diamond glints in the sunlight, so blindingly bright and pretty, attached to a delicate gold band.

“I know I’ve promised you many things in the past, and I’ve hurt you and broken those promises, too. But I’m telling you now that I will love and protect you and our baby with my whole life. And I want you to be my wife, so I can take care of you. So, baby, will you marry–”

“Yes!” You cut him off, unable to wait any longer because you feel this bursting happiness in your heart. You kiss him hard, catching him off-guard but he recovers quickly, holding you gently in his lap while your mouth moves against his. His hand splays over your tummy, and you really do feel loved. Perhaps for the first time in your whole life… you really do feel loved.

He slips the ring on your finger and you admire how perfectly it fits. And then the two of you kiss some more, bathing in the sunlight of the hot summer’s day, and in a way, you feel like you were always meant to end up here. That this was that hot summer’s day you’d always been yearning for every time you’d looked at him and felt that hunger, that longing…

You feel it now too, almost tenfold. And you draw back, taking in a deep breath. It happens suddenly and yet it’s the surest you’ve ever felt about anything ever. You push aside the neckline of shirt, till enough of his neck is bare to you. And then you bite down hard. Not too hard at first, because you’re afraid of hurting him. But then that feral feeling takes over you, and you hold his biceps tightly to steady yourself, and you bite down till you feel his skin breaking.

You lick and suck against his pale, broken skin as he holds you close, holding your head in place as if there’s nowhere else he’d rather want you to be. And when you pull away and see the little jagged mark you’ve left on him, a thrill ripples through you like no other.

Now he was yours too.

“Did that hurt?” You ask him.

He scoffs, ever the macho alpha. But there’s love in his eyes when he speaks. “A little. But it’s a good kind of hurt.”

You pepper kisses on your mark, trying to soothe any pain you may have caused him. And then he cups your face with his hands and catches your lips with his own, giving you the most passionate kiss you’ve ever felt from him.

“Steve?” You say breathlessly between kisses.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I love you too.”

The end.

***

EPILOGUE – ONE YEAR LATER

You don’t know if it’s the nightmare that jolts you awake, or if it’s the sound of Rosie crying. But you wake up to a dark, empty room. The bed is empty, save for you. You scramble up to see that Rosie’s crib is empty too (you keep it right next to your bed because you need to know she’s there all the time). But she’s not here right now, and neither is Steve, and that dark voice inside your head, the one you’ve worked so hard to keep out, begins to cackle… They’ve both left you…

You jump to your feet, heart hammering like crazy. But you find Steve in Rosie’s nursery, with your little baby girl in his arms. Or his one arm, and she looks so tiny and comfy, nestled on her dad as he gently rocks her, holding her bottle in his opposite hand. You immediately sag in relief.

Steve looks up at you, “She was crying so I came to check on her. I thought I’d let you sleep.”

You let out a ragged breath, “I thought you’d left me.”

Often, you wonder if he’s sick of your whole “I thought you’d left me” thing. There have been many occasions in the past year, where you’ve gone to that dark place in your mind, where you’ve woken up in the dark and somehow convinced yourself that he’s gone and he’s taken your Rosie with him. You still have nightmares about this happening. Not every night, but enough times that you’ve woken up crying.

Your therapist says that trauma and insecurities don’t heal overnight. That it’ll take time for you to completely believe that no one is ever going to leave you again like how your parents did. And that it’s important for you to have a strong support system that makes you feel reassured and safe. And Steve never hesitates to tell you that he’s never leaving you, that he’s right here, that everything’s okay. You’re amazed at how much patience he has when it comes to this, but he does, and you’re grateful for it.

Now, he lets you hold Rosie before gathering you in his arms and kissing the top of your head. “I’m right here, baby. It’s all okay, I’m never leaving you.”

You calm down, letting him lead you to the armchair in the corner of the nursery. He sits down, pulling you on top of him and switching on the lamp. Rosie coos in your arms, awake and smiling despite it being the middle of the night. She’s such a happy baby, and you love that about her because she makes you happy too. So overwhelmingly happy, that you want to smother her face in kisses and cuddle her all day and all night.

She nestles closer against your bosom, and you and Steve both watch her in awe. She’s so special, so perfect. Only five months old and yet you can’t imagine your life without her. When she was born, she’d been so, so tiny and she’d cried so much, but you’d held her against your chest and she’d calmed down, and it made you feel so needed, so wanted.

Steve had been scared to hold her at first, convinced that he’d somehow hurt her. You also suspected that he was afraid she’d cry if he held her, reject him somehow. But those little fears had gone away quickly, probably because she was so cute and he couldn’t resist cuddling her, even when she was a newborn and practically just the size of his hand. And you couldn’t get enough of watching him with her, because a year ago he’d been a cruel fratboy hell-bent on his mean ways. And now?

Now he was a father. And your husband.

The wedding had been small, just you (pregnant and beginning to show) and Steve and his parents. “I don’t want anyone else there, Steve. Just us. Please,” you had begged. Maybe it was because his friends weren’t your friends, or maybe it was because you were insecure that you’d have no one there for you. No one to walk you down the aisle, no one to go pick your wedding dress with, just no one at all.

Steve had agreed – it was your special day after all. Mrs. Rogers – hell-bent on making it to her son’s wedding despite the fact that she had to do so in a wheelchair – helped you pick your dress by having a large selection delivered to the house. You’d chosen a flowy dress that reached till your knees, and you’d gotten married on a private beach owned by the Rogers family. And despite the fact that it was Steve’s father who walked you down the aisle instead of your own, you felt happy.

You’d even received a card from Peter, congratulating you on your marriage. The message was brief, but it touched you nonetheless. You’d spoken to him once more after the day of the big game when he’d tried to save you from Steve. It had taken a while to persuade Steve to let you see him, but you felt like you needed this closure, and so did Peter. And so, in a coffee shop with Steve waiting in the car outside, you’d sat across from Peter and apologised from the bottom of your heart. You’d told him how you never meant to hurt him, but how you really felt you belonged with Steve.

You also told him you were pregnant, and that got him to crack a smile. He told you that you didn’t need to apologise, and that if this was what you truly wanted, then he wouldn’t stop you from living your happiness. He looked you in the eye and told you you’d be a great mother, and he wished you all the best. He also told you that he had to move on with his life, but he’d be there if you ever needed him.

You knew you could never truly be friends with Peter again, not in the way you were before. But his card meant a lot to you anyways.

Steve received congratulatory calls and cards from a bunch of different people, one of them being Sam. He was off traveling the world, and he’d met a girl called Wanda who he wanted to settle down with. He told Steve that he hoped you all could hang out when he brought her back. You told Steve to tell him that you’d like that very much.

After getting married, the two of you had decided to stay in the Rogers’ mansion, much to Mrs. Rogers’ glee. Steve had told you that his family had an apartment on the upper east side as well as one in Brooklyn that you guys could move in to, if you so pleased. He also said that once he’d settled in with a proper job, he’d begin building a dream house for the two of you and your future family. He was currently working in his dad’s company which he was set to take over, but he wanted to go into politics too.

You were happy to stay in the mansion, however. You enjoyed Mrs. Rogers’ company, and you really considered her a friend. Finally, a friend. An unlikely one, but a friend nevertheless. She was stark and honest about her cancer, and it filled you with sorrow knowing that she wouldn’t be here forever. Steve was still confident that she’d get better (or that was how he acted) and Mrs. Rogers told you that you’d have to be strong when the day came, because she knew that he wouldn’t be.

By some miracle, you’d also persuaded Steve to let you go back to university. He wasn’t thrilled about it, but you remembered Mrs. Rogers’ advice on how he’d listen to you when it truly came down to it. And he had, he had, he had! You had just finished your sophomore year, having done most of it online, and passed all your exams with flying colours. You didn’t know if you were going to go back for junior year this fall or if you’d differ it till next year (since Rosie took up so much of your time) but you knew you had the option either way, which you liked.

But right now, at this very moment in time, you’re content just to watch Rosie babble and coo in your arms. Steve strokes her chubby cheek and her little fist grabs his pinkie finger, and your heart just feels so full, your nightmare already forgotten and almost laughable in comparison to how happy you feel right now, encased in your little family. A family of your very own, just like Steve had promised you so long ago.

“She looks exactly like you.” Steve comments softly, and you chirp happily in agreement. Rosie did have a few of Steve’s features, like his freckles. But everything else was so… you. Often, Steve compared her to the baby picture he had of you in his wallet, the one he’d taken from your childhood room, and the resemblance was uncanny. She was you all over again.

“She does, doesn’t she?” You smile, hugging her close. And then your heart drops, and you feel your eyes well with tears at the sudden overwhelming thought of being unable to protect her. “I don’t want her to be like me, Steve. I don’t want her to be shunned and bullied, and unable to stand up for herself. I don’t, I can’t, I…”

He shushes you with kisses, scenting you and calming you down like how he always does, stroking your face and gathering your tears on his fingers. Rosie gazes up at you imploringly, reaching a chubby hand up to pat at your face as if to mimic her daddy, and you can’t help but smile through your tears.

“If she’s anything like you, she’ll be perfect. But she’ll also be perfect if she’s nothing like you.” Steve presses more kisses to the top of your head as you keep your eyes glued on your baby daughter, wanting so badly to protect her from all the cruelty this world had to offer. “Look, why don’t we just take it day by day? Just know that I’ll protect her with my life, and she’ll grow up safe and loved.”

You nod. When had he become so wise?

“Gah!” Rosie squeals cheerfully, as if to say she agrees. The two of you can’t help but laugh.

“That’s right, Rosie, you agree with daddy, don’t you? That’s because daddy is always right,” Steve coos, taking her from your arms and pressing a gazillion kisses to her face. “Your mama’s just worried about you, but you gotta tell her that you’ll be fine.” He thrusts the baby at your face in typical Steve fashion (albeit gently). “Go on, Rosie, tell her!”

Rosie blinks before kicking her feet that are encased in her adorable yellow footie pyjamas, smiling and babbling happily. It’s her own baby language of cute yet nonsensical sounds, but it touches you nonetheless.

If someone asked you a year ago whether you thought you’d be here now, you’d probably have burst into tears because of your own bleak expectations. But watching Steve and your little baby girl, you realise that this is your happy place. Here, in the dead of the night with the only light coming from the dim, orange lamp. Here, where you watch as Steve gets up and twirls Rosie around and around, gently throwing her up in the air and catching her as she laughs and laughs. You’d had a heart attack the first time he’d done that, but now you trusted him with it, and the sound of her gleeful laughter was the most beautiful thing on earth to you.

“C’mere,” Steve reaches for your hand and pulls you up, twirling you around before yanking you into him (again, gently, as he holds Rosie with his other arm). You crash into his chest before he tips you back, kissing you sweetly as your arms wind around his neck. “You make me so happy,” he whispers against your lips, “both my girls make me so happy.”

“You make me happy too,” you say shyly. One year later, and he still makes you shy and gives you butterflies. But you’re so comfortable with him now, so at ease, so familiar, so safe. You guess that’s what love is, and it’s also how much he’s grown as a man. He still has his rules, he’s still that strict alpha that he always was. But he’s also more laidback, sweeter, kinder… You think it’s Rosie who has softened him up, but everyone else (his mom) tells you that it’s you too.

“Oh yeah? I bet I could make you happier, baby.” Steve smirks, bouncing Rosie up and down in his arms while she plays with the stubble on his face. “When are you gonna let me give you another one?”

Your eyes widen, heat rushing to your cheeks. You weren’t opposed to the idea of another baby (although Steve’s vision of having at least five children was something you’d take a while to wrap your head around). But right now, you really just wanted to focus on Rosie. Along with Steve, she was your whole entire world.

Rosie’s tiny arms reach out for you, and it secretly thrills you how you seem to be her favourite person. You take her from Steve, rocking her gently in your arms before you let her rest her head on your shoulder. Her eyes droop, long lashes (just like her daddy’s) fanning her chubby cheeks. All that laughing and being thrown in the air had tired her out, and it only takes her a few more minutes to fall asleep.

“I love you, my beautiful baby girl,” you whisper to her softly, brushing her hair off her face, “sweet dreams.”

You and Steve watch her for a while after you’ve put her down in her crib, her tiny stuffed bear clutched in her fist. It’s something the two of you do quite often, as if you’re both in awe of this perfect little thing that you created together. Steve’s arm winds around your waist, and you lean your head against his chest.

“We need to get her a new bear.” Steve points out. Rosie’s favourite stuffed animal is already kind of tattered, its yellow bow-tie hanging off where the stitching has come loose.

“Or her daddy could sew this one back, just like you did with mine.” You glance at Steve Junior, who is comfortably lounging on his usual place in the middle of the bed.

Steve scoffs. Till this day, he denies it. “I did not. I paid someone to do it.”

“Whatever you say.”

He takes you back to bed, and you lie comfortably on his chest, breathing in his scent. Moments like this make all of your insecurities feel insignificant in comparison. Yes, your mother had left you, and sure, your father had too. And every now and again, you feel strong pangs of hurt when you think about it too much. But the pangs were dulling over time, and they could never contest against the strong feelings of love you had within you now. Love for your baby, love for Steve. Love for your perfect little family. And maybe a little love for yourself, too (you were working on it).

 And so, every time that dark voice inside you tries to pull you down under, all you have to do is remember the little things that you have the luxury of enjoying every single day now. Like the feel of Rosie’s chubby fist as it grabs your finger with crazy strong baby strength. Or the way Steve’s eyes light up when he comes home to you both after a long day of work. The feel of his soft hair as you card your fingers through it, how he buries his face in your neck and sighs. The sound of Rosie’s laughter, the way Steve says your name.

You know one day you’ll conquer that dark voice inside your head, silence it forever. In the meantime, you cuddle closer to Steve, brush your hand over his chest. Lean up to kiss his cheek, smile at how his lashes fan his cheekbones. A sense of calm washes over your chest, and you don’t feel afraid of your nightmares anymore.

You settle down, and you go to sleep with a smile on your face.

A/N: The end. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for letting me tell this story from beginning to end. I really hope you found it satisfactory. There is so much I want to say, but I will write a separate post for that. Thank you for reading. I love you all. Please reblog and PLEASE leave feedback, i am dying to know what you guys think!

link to my ko-fi

[roosterforme]

Covering the Classics Part 17 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Anna is giving herself one last chance to get her manuscript before she moves on without it. She has friends, a job she loves, and a man who believes in her. There's nothing else she really needs now, but she's going all in on a plan that is perhaps just crazy enough to work.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, espionage, adult language, 18+

Length: 3400 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)

Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more!

Bob watched Anna emerge from the bathroom in one of Jessica's cocktail dresses after he picked her up from work and brought her back to his house. "I'm thinking this one?" she asked, turning back and forth in front of his bedroom mirror while wearing the black and white dress. It was a little snug and also a bit short on her compared to how it would probably fit Jessica, but he thought she looked incredible.

"Yeah," Bob agreed, standing behind her and zipping it up. "It's perfect." Seeing her in wedding rings was startling to him, and he had to remind himself over and over again that she had borrowed them as a cover. As part of the ruse. That they belonged to his friend. That she wasn't reconciling with Kevin. "What time do we need to be at the hotel?" he asked, running his hand along her hip as she started to clip her hair up onto her head.

"Eight o'clock," she confirmed. "The cocktail reception lasts from eight until ten, and there's no way Kevin will want to miss a single minute with all of these people who seemingly worship him."

Bob tightened his hold on her, his distaste for Kevin clearly written on his face as he looked in the mirror over her shoulder. She told him he needed to change out of his uniform, so he was wearing a plain undershirt and jeans. He looked a bit ridiculous next to Anna as she swiped some eyeliner on in the shape of a cat-eye before coating her lips in a deep red stain.

"That's pretty," he whispered, and he was rewarded with her turning around to press a kiss to his cheek, leaving her perfect lip marks behind. He didn't bother to wipe it away. He was so thankful she wasn't trying to do this on her own, even though she seemed calm and confident. He didn't want Kevin to have even the slightest opportunity to be alone with her. "You'll call me if you need me to come in," he said.

"Yes," she confirmed for probably the fifth time. "I'll keep my phone on me."

"And you'll get out of there if you don't feel safe?"

Anna nodded up at him, looking so beautiful with a soft smile on her lips. "Yes. My manuscript is not as important as I am."

Bob kissed her deeply. She finally got it. She tried to swipe at the lipstick smudged on his mouth, but they left his house hand in hand with some of the stain left on his lips. He helped her into his truck and took his time driving up to Carlsbad as she navigated along the way for him. When he reached for her hand, she laced her fingers with his, and he chuckled.

"I kind of hate her rings on you," he muttered. "I wonder what Bradley had to say about that one."

Anna made a face when he glanced her way. "I'm sure he's still asking her to explain where they went, and the more she says my name, the unhappier he's going to be with me."

"Nah," Bob replied as he made a left turn. "You're one of us."

She squeezed his hand. "That still sounds almost too good to be true. And we do need to return her rings tonight so he doesn't have a full panic attack."

"That sounds fair," he murmured, looking for a place to stop his truck and let her out. The swanky hotel where Kevin's medical conference was being held was just up the block, and now his heart was pounding.

"This is perfect," she told him, pointing out the window before unbuckling her seatbelt. "Just leave me off right here." He put the truck in park, but when she tried to pull her hand away, he held on tighter. She paused and looked at him before leaning in to kiss his cheek and saying, "I got this, Bob. It's okay." When she tried once more to get out of his truck, he tugged her closer to him. "You have to let me-"

"Anna, I love you."

She froze at his announcement, but he was getting tired of not telling her. He'd been thinking it for ages. He thought he almost lost her before, and he wasn't going to let Kevin of all people potentially ruin her night without her knowing she at least had him to come back to. So as she crawled across the seat toward him, he repeated himself. "I love you."

Anna climbed onto his lap as her lips met his cheek and his chin. "I want to listen to you say that all night," she whispered, finally kissing his lips. "And I want to spend an hour telling you all about how much I love you. But I need about thirty minutes to get shit done first."

Bob laughed as he nipped at her smiling lips. "No rush. I'll still love you in thirty minutes." He would probably still love her in thirty years, and he was more than willing to tell her that later. But right now he had to accept one last kiss from her before he watched her hop down from his truck, put Jessica's high heels on, and start to head for the hotel entrance.

---------------------------

"You can do this," Anna told herself as she tried not to stumble in the shoes that were a half size too small with heels which were way too high. "Just stay focused." But Bob loved her! He said it, and he meant it, and now all she wanted was to run back to his truck. But this was her last chance.

It was ten minutes after eight. Kevin's schedule was giving her enough time to get what she wanted, but only if it went smoothly. Anna had never been much of an actress, but in this exact moment, she needed to pull off an Emmy winning performance if she stood a chance at getting into Kevin's room. She cleared her throat and squared her shoulders as she walked into the beautiful lobby, opened her clutch purse, and pouted in frustration. "Oh no," she muttered loudly. There were a lot of people around, chatting and heading to the bar just past the concierge desk. She threw her head back in faux annoyance and marched in the terrible shoes toward the counter.

"How can I help you this evening?" asked the young man behind the desk with a smile.

Anna sighed and set her clutch down and glanced at his name tag. She made sure the rings on her finger were shining under the light as she said, "In my rush to get to the wine bar down the block in time for cocktail hour, I left my new necklace and my key card in my room. Think you could print me a new one, Marcus? My husband just gifted me the necklace and expects me to be wearing it."

"Of course, Mrs...."

"Webber. Mrs. Kevin Webber. We're here for the Neurological conference. My husband is a keynote speaker." She had to fight back the urge to choke on the words as she forced a smile. 

"Right," Marcus replied, tapping away on his keyboard. "Webber.... I found the reservation, but it's only under your husband's name."

When he looked up and met her eyes, Anna wanted to run away, climb back into Bob's truck and give up. Her heart was pounding as she tapped her fingers on the counter and rolled her eyes. "He always does that when he books a room for work. But I'm definitely linked to his rewards account."

She tried to keep her face neutral as she awaited a response. There was no way Kevin would have taken the time to update anything so trivial. He was never one to take the time to update anything. That always fell to Anna. She watched Marcus start typing again as he said, "I'll just need to check your ID, Mrs. Webber."

"Absolutely," she replied coolly, pulling her New Jersey state driver's license that was about to expire from her clutch and setting it down for him. The longer he typed away, the more she started to panic. She wondered if Kevin was already having his first drink at the bar or if he had moved on to his second. As long as he was there, it didn't much matter to her what he was doing.

Finally, Marcus pulled a new key card from the drawer in front of him, programmed it and tucked it into an envelope. He conveniently wrote #609 on it and slid it toward her. "Is there anything else I can do for you this evening Mrs. Webber?"

She shook her head, picked up her license and the key and said, "I think this is all I need. Thank you, Marcus."

Anna turned toward the bank of elevators and counted each step. One, two, three, four, five.... She tried to keep her pace as unhurried as she could while still getting away from the desk quickly. She pushed the little up arrow and waited for the elevator to arrive while she glanced around the lobby to be sure there was nobody who had taken notice of her. When the elevator got there, she ducked inside and pushed the button for floor six and pulled her phone out to text Bob.

I got the key. I'm in the elevator.

When she arrived at the correct floor, she put her phone away and held onto the key card with shaking hands. She could do this. She knew she could. But one step onto the plush carpet, and she stumbled in Jessica's high heels. "Shit," she gasped, reaching for the wall as the elevator doors slid closed behind her. Could she really take Kevin's computer? Technically speaking, it was hers, too. They picked it out together. When he started medical school. She paid for it with her credit card. The one he then maxed out.

She pushed herself off from the wall, more pissed off than upset. Kevin didn't deserve her concern at the moment. He deserved nothing. Room 609. She found it down the left side of the hallway. Just as she raised the key card to swipe it, the door jerked open an inch, and she gasped. Fingers wrapped around the door from the inside as it opened slowly, and she ran as fast as she could for the stairwell, tucking herself inside just as she saw Kevin step into the hallway.

"Fuck," she gasped under her breath, afraid she might throw up. It was close to 8:30 now. He should have been at the cocktail party. Why was he in his room? Terrified that he'd seen her, Anna stood in the stairwell with her back pressed to the wall. She counted to fifty and then to one hundred, but the door never opened. When she peeked out into the hallway again, it was deserted.

"You can do this," she whispered, even as the thought occurred to her that he may still be in the hotel room. There was no way she'd be able to overpower him if he was. Before she could give it too much thought, she knocked on the door and then pressed her ear to it. When nobody answered, she did it again. Then she swiped her card, watched the light turn green, and pushed the door slowly open.

The hotel room smelled like Kevin's cologne, and she gagged, but after a quick inspection of the bathroom and closet, he was definitely gone. Her hands were shaking like crazy now as she checked the desk area for his computer, but it wasn't there. She dropped to her knees and crawled across the floor to his computer bag, but it was empty except for folders and pamphlets from the conference.

"Shit," she said, eyes stinging with tears. She made it this far, and she didn't want to give up now. As she crawled around the king size bed, she saw the computer charging cable on the floor, plugged into the outlet along with his phone charger. And there it sat, tucked halfway under the bed. The laptop.

Anna lunged for it, opening it and waking it up from standby mode. She was prompted to enter a password, and she smiled; Kevin never changed anything. It had to be the same one he was using since college. She entered it, and her smile vanished. 

Incorrect Password

"You're joking," she gasped. This was supposed to be the easy part. This was the last thing she was convinced would trip her up. Perhaps she had just entered it wrong with her shaky hands, so she tried it again.

Incorrect Password

"Fuck!" Panic was setting in now. Should she just take it and risk pissing him off if the manuscript wasn't even on it? Her intention had been to check before she did. Her gaze settled on the little fingerprint reader down in the bottom corner near the keyboard. There was simply no way. If he had taken the time to actually update his passwords, then he would have taken the time to remove Anna's fingerprint access as well.

She bit her lip and slid her index finger down to the reader, and she was immediately rewarded with full access to the computer. Her eyes went wide as she tapped on the search option and entered the file name of her manuscript and hit enter, and when it popped up on the screen she burst into tears. She scrolled down and it was there. It was all there.

"Fuck you, Kevin," Anna said, voice hoarse with emotion as she yanked the plug from the wall, wrapped the cord around the laptop, and made her way to the door. She needed to act completely normal right now even though she felt like her heart might burst into a million brightly colored pieces of magic. She rode the elevator down, praying that Kevin was getting intoxicated enough that he wouldn't realize something was missing from his room right away. For the first time in her life, she didn't even care if he brought another woman back with him, but she did almost feel bad for pregnant Alyssa back in New Jersey. Almost.

When the doors slid open revealing the bustling lobby, Anna nearly tripped for the last time. She took her friend's shoes off and held them in one hand with her purse as she started speed walking toward the exit. She didn't see Kevin anywhere, but that didn't mean much since he had been in his room when she got here. Now she was counting on Bob to be where he said he would be.

Once she was outside, she immediately turned to the right toward the loading zone. She started to run barefoot down the sidewalk, and that's when she saw him. He was perfect, standing there next to the passenger side door in his white undershirt, running his hands nervously through his hair.

"Bob!" she called out, her feet already aching, and he came racing up the sidewalk to meet her.

"You got it!" he whispered excitedly. "Anna, Baby, you got it!"

"It's still on here," she breathed as he scooped her up with everything still held tight in her hands. "I got in with my fingerprint and I saw it, Bob. I have it." He kissed the side of her neck once, but otherwise he didn't stop walking. "Did you see Kevin?" she asked. 

"Yeah," he grunted, setting her down and pulling the door open for her. "He headed the other way up the block. When he came out after you went inside, I kind of started to freak out a little bit. If I didn't hear from you again in five more minutes, I was going to make my way inside. But you didn't need me at all."

Anna tossed everything onto the seat and scrambled inside, anxious to get out of here, but not before she leaned down to kiss Bob one more time. "That's just the thing though. I'm pretty sure I actually do need you."

He was smiling as he said, "Let's go home."

---------------------------

Anna was holding the computer to her chest while Bob drove down the dark local roads of Carlsbad and got onto the highway. She didn't say much, but she looked so happy, and eventually her hand crept across the seat to take his. When he took the first street off the bridge instead of the second one, she asked, "Where are we going?"

Bob laughed. "Just because he hasn't been freaking out at you all night doesn't mean he hasn't been texting and calling me nearly nonstop."

"Who?" she asked, clearly puzzled as Bob drove through the quiet end of Coronado. When he pulled up in front of the Spanish Revival style house that had every light, interior and exterior, shining bright, she laughed too. "I almost forgot about the rings in all the excitement."

Bob watched as Bradley came running out onto his porch in his slippers, gym shorts, and his hideous tie dye shirt with a concerned look on his face. His wife was right behind him waving merrily from the porch in a bathrobe that looked too big for her as he ran down the walkway toward the truck. Bob watched as Anna twisted both rings from her finger and then rolled down the window, and in an instant, Bradley's entire head was thrust inside, eyes searching wildly.

"Do you have them?" he asked loudly, reaching for Anna's open palm and the rings. "Jesus Christ." He turned around and shouted to his wife, "They have them!"

"I told you they did," she replied easily, shaking her head. "It's not like she was set on stealing something tonight, Beer Boy."

Bob and Anna both started laughing as Bradley turned back toward them, looking much calmer with his wife's rings in his hand. "These rings are so important to me. Elvis himself married us in Vegas with them."

Anna patted him on the cheek and said, "And they're both just as perfect as when Advanced Calculus gave them to me earlier. They worked like a charm, so thank you."

He nodded and sighed in relief before heading back up to the porch with a lot more swagger in his step now. While he was walking away, Bob heard him tell his wife, "Put these back on immediately, Sugar, or I'm getting my Beta Gamma paddle out."

"Oh," Anna gasped as Bob started to pull away from the curb. "That actually makes a lot of sense," she muttered, holding onto the computer once again.

"They are in for a wild night," Bob told her, heading toward his house now. "And so is Kevin. In a much less fun way."

"And so are you," Anna said with a little smirk. 

"I don't have a fraternity paddle," Bob replied as his cheeks grew warm.

"We won't need one of those for a good time. You have a collection of poetry that you wrote about me, and I think I'd like to hear you read it."

Bob was already twitching with need. "Will you put your black bra and panties on again?"

"What do you think I'm wearing under this dress? As soon as I pull my manuscript from the cloud and copy everything over to my own computer, I'm going to spend the rest of the night thoroughly thanking you for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. And then we can discuss the plans to banish Kevin permanently."

There were so many things he wanted to do, but he knew his list would have to start after hers was complete. They would take care of her manuscript and get rid of Kevin. Then he could bring up going on some actual dates before she moved in for good and let their books get all mixed up. He was itching to get back to the bookstore again. He was dying to take her to Chippy's.

"You don't have to thank me for anything, Anna," he said softly, lacing his fingers with hers as he drove. "But when you finally feel free, just promise me you'll stay."

----------------------------

Anna! You badass!! Let's banish Kevin back to New Jersey forever! Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 18

@thedroneranger

@theamuz

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@callsign-magnolia

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[shiny-holographic-star]

Sirene asteroid (1009) observations

Sagittarius Sirene people appeal to others when they're fulfilling their purpose or having a clear direction in their lives. For example, my cousin has this placement, and she's able to appeal to others when she's so sure about being a dancer, believing that she was made for that, following the direction set by her heart/intuition without questioning it.

I have this placement too, and I think people come to me a lot in search for answers, to understand themselves better since Sagittarius is all about expanding ourselves.

Sirene in the 5th house is about mesmerizing people when you're in the spotlight, being confident and letting yourself shine. Also when performing, so this is a good placement for celebrities. My cousin has this, and she grabs everyone's attention when dancing, plus her personality (5H) is very charismatic.

I also have Sirene in the 5th House, and I'm not so comfortable in the spotlight which to me comes from the Capricorn degree (10°, 22°). This brings delays and challenges when it comes to you expressing or getting used to this alluring energy. You have lessons to learn before you're able to own this energy.

A Leo degree shows that you're confident to use this energy, you were born to be seen and to shine under the spotlight! Guess who has this. Yes, my cousin 💃🏻⭐️ It's worth noting though, that she has insecurities and suffers from anxiety, but she still loves the spotlight and wants to shine.

Libra Sirene attracts people when they show a chill attitude, by wanting to make everyone feel comfortable or included, by using a soft voice and having a great sense of aesthetics. My dad, for example, uses a soft voice when he wants to be polite or liked by others, and shows a super chill attitude with my sister and I's friends. A couple of my girl friends simped for him 😷

My sister has this placement too and she's the type to try and include everyone in the conversation, plus she too softens her voice when being polite or wanting to be liked? She also has a great eye for fashion. And with her friends she appears more chill than how she really is (she's crazy, your honor - in a good way).

Jungkook from BTS has Libra Sirene and his singing voice is very soft compared to what I thought it would sound like at first.

He also has Sirene in the 9th House so he might drawn in more foreign fans than korean. This placement could indicate being alluring when you're open to learn from other cultures or expand your understanding of things. Think about ambiences like college, school, foreing countries.

Scorpio Siren could be appealing when they're intense, reserved, observant, alert. Also, when they're being toxic (controlling or uninterested) or give off that aura of bad boy. For example, one of my exes has this, and he pulled me in with little to no effort, he used to take his time replying to my messages and I waited for him, thinking about what he could be doing and wishing for his attention. 🤢

A high school friend has this placement too, and he had this air or mystery when he actually was doing nothing? He has Scorpio Sun conjunct Sirene, and he wasn't easy to get close to at first. It's like he gave off an air of "I'm on my own, don't bother me", and some girls pinned after him.

Virgo Sirene people are alluring when they keep a humble attitude, lending their attention to you and recognizing they can learn something from anyone. My grandma and two friends (a guy and a girl) sometimes would ask me for advice, to explain something to them or to give them my opinion about something, and as I reply they'd look at me with the utmost attention, not wanting to miss any detail. They look at you recognizing the value of your words and that's so wholesome, it makes you feel heard and appreciated.

Sirene in the 1st House might give a great first impression considering it's the house of beginnings. They might be the person people notice or get curious about first in a group, and nobody knows why; it's unconscious. They also might atract people when they take initiative, which movilizes or motivates others. They seem like they would do good in a leadership position, people would be drawn to listening to them (especially when they're in the energy of the sign their Sirene asteroid falls under).

For example, a Virgo Sirene in the 1st House person might drawn people in by taking iniciative and assuming the role of a leader in a humble way, paying attention to everyone's input and striving to reach their ideal.

[ot8xbangchansgirlsblog]

Love the 0T8 story and requests... I have a request, please...

All of the members love on the omega physically, but chan really wants to be the one who breeds her first. He has this overwhelming desire to see her full with his pups. He has dreams and " gets off" to the image of her and hearing her sweet moans. One day he see omega helping han with a sprained wrist and seeing her all motherly and lightly scolding han for running in sock in the house, just makes him feral. He has reader go to their shared room and basically tried his best to ask if she would want this, without jumping her. They discuss it and she reveals to him she is due for her heat in 3 days and he rushes to his calendar and notices he is due for a rut at the same time. So they decide to do it then and we'll 3 days later and all the boys away, they go crazy and a few months later, hello plus sign!

ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪.

Warning: fluff/smut/blood

Summary: Request!

TW! Mention of Mpreg.

Only Felix and Y/n are omegas

A/N: Please note that this isn't my normal content and there is quite a graphic link in the chapter! This was quite very uncomfortable for me cause i never write smuts BUTT it was such an interesting experience and i would not mind writing smuts again if you guys are interested in it. Im just giving you guys a heads-up cause idk how i feel about like my wording and stuff.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

📍Studio

"Chan you've got to tell her, her heat is in 3 days," Changbin groaned. "Quite frankly i think all of us want to put a baby in her but you're taking too long."

"I know, i know. It's just that. I'm nervous bin," Chan replied. His hands were in his hair as he struggled to focus at the task in hand.

Producing music.

Ever since him and Felix did the show where they had to hang around a toddlers, he couldn't stop thinking about getting his Luna pregnant. He couldn't stop thinking about her walking around all swollen with a bump.

Just the thought about him and his packmate's putting so many babies in her made him go feral and he couldn't take it anymore.

"Well you better figure it out because lix's heat is after that and if you want both omegas carrying pups time isnt on your side," Changbin shrugged. "You know lixie would never allow to get pregnant before Luna-ssi."

Changbin was right. Felix would never allow to disrespect Y/N like that and the alphas would never get any of the omegas pregnant before he did.

"Don't you think i know that Changbin? Im trying okay? just give me time," He huffed before laying his head down on the table.

📍Home

“Jagi, I got all the snacks you asked me to get!” Lee Know called out as he walked through the door, hand in hand with Han.

“Coming!” Y/N responded quickly, her voice bright with excitement as she hurried down the stairs.

Lee Know smiled at the sound of her little footsteps approaching, followed by a delighted squeal.

“Hey babe!” She got on her tiptoes to give him a quick kiss, then turned to Jisung, offering him the same affection.

“We tried to get everything, but we just couldn’t find the heating pads you like, so Channie-hyung said he would bring some on the way back from work,” Lee Know explained, handing her the grocery bags so she could check everything.

“Oh my— you guys are the best! I think that’s all I need,” she said, her eyes sparkling as she rummaged through the bags.

“If you need anything else, just tell me, okay?” Lee Know said, removing his jacket and shoes as Han followed suit.

“Your heat is in three days, my love. Please don’t forget like last time, and don’t eat all the snacks!” Han whined, making his way behind her into the kitchen as she began to unpack.

“It was one time!” she fake-pouted. “Plus, I’m going to put these away. Can you help me start on dinner?” She turned to Han, who was already rolling up his sleeves.

“Yeah, sure! What should I start with?” Han replied, eager to assist. He washed his hands quickly, ready to make her life a little easier.

“Maybe start with the meat?” Y/N suggested, looking around the kitchen. “There it is— it’s quite a bit, so I’ll help once I store these away.” She handed him the package resting on the counter and moved to grab her snacks and drinks for the ‘heat’ room.

“Be careful! The knife is sharp!” she warned before turning to leave.

“I will,” Han smirked, watching her walk away. Her body moved with a sway, and he couldn’t help but groan, cursing his alpha for being so utterly in love with her.

As Y/N walked away, she caught a hint of Han’s arousal in his scent and giggled softly. She loved how her alphas were so drawn to her; it made her feel confident and beautiful, just as every omega should.

“I’ve gotten all the scented clothes I could find and some fresh sheets, baby! Where should I put them?” I.N interrupted as she made her way down the corridor towards the basement.

“I’m about to go downstairs. Can you put them down there? I’ll probably start nesting tonight,” she replied, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She felt an overwhelming rush of love for him as he took care of her so well.

“Yeah, sure, anything for you,” he smiled, following her down to her heat room. Her scent grew stronger, wrapping around him like a warm embrace.

“Just place them there,” she said, pointing mindlessly to the bed before starting to stock the fridge with everything they had brought home.

Once I.N placed the clothes down, he made his way over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Her scent had become sweeter since last night, and he craved the closeness.

“You smell so good. Let Alpha take care of you,” he mumbled against her scent gland, his voice low and soothing.

“Baby, I know you want—” Suddenly, a loud yelp followed by a cry pierced the air, making both of them jump.

Y/N sprang into action, wanting to ensure everything was okay. She dashed out of the room and into the kitchen, I.N hot on her heels.

“What? What happened?” she panicked, rushing to Han’s side and examining his pained face.

“I cut my hand!” he whimpered, seeking comfort from her.

“Oh, Hannie, I told you to be careful!” she pouted, gently taking his hand to assess the cut.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s not that bad. Go to the living room. I’ll be there in a second,” she said, slowly shooing him to sit down. He frowned but obeyed her instructions, reluctantly heading to the living room.

“Innie, can you finish this up? I’ll be back in a bit,” she asked, passing him a clean knife.

“Yeah, I got it. Don’t even worry,” he replied instantly, releasing a soft scent of pheromones to calm her, sensing the tension in her scent.

Grateful for his help, Y/N grabbed the first aid kit and made her way to the living room. It was empty, meaning the boys were probably in the gaming room or the home studio, likely oblivious to what had just happened.

Rolling her eyes, she sat on Han’s lap and gently took his injured hand. “How many times do I have to tell you to be careful with the knife, Jisungie—” she began to scold him, her voice laced with concern.

“I’m home!” The pack alpha called out from the door, interrupting their moment.

“In here!” Y/N called out, continuing to scold Han as she tended to his hand.

The house smelled sweet, and Chan recognized Y/N's scent immediately. It enveloped the space, overpowering everything else. A mix of honey and vanilla, it was reminiscent of baked goods, filling him with warmth but also an undeniable hunger.

How was he going to face her? His alpha was already growling and howling, barely making it through the door. He hated her heats; they completely unraveled him. Now, on top of that, he was grappling with his own rut, and her intoxicating scent was only making it worse.

“What’s going on?” he smiled, forcing cheerfulness as he stepped into the living room and took in the sight of his two mates on the couch.

“Han cut his hand,” Y/N sighed, glancing back at the pouting boy.

“I said I’m sorry, noona,” Han whined, his voice a mixture of embarrassment and pain.

“I know, baby, but you can’t keep being clumsy like this. Just the other day, you twisted your ankle playing football with the boys,” she chastised gently.

“And chan you need to talk to him because he’s been getting hurt a lot, He wont listen to me!” she added, furrowing her eyebrows in frustration.

“Baby—” Chan groaned internally. Why was she going into ‘mommy mode’ right now? Of all times, especially in that sundress he loved. He felt utterly screwed.

“Okay, I’ll talk to him,” he sighed, instinctively covering his front with his laptop bag as he felt heat rise within him.

“Good! Now go get the boys for a snack. You guys have had a long day,” she instructed, her voice sweet and satisfied with herself, completely unaware of how turned on Chan was.

“All done, baby. You’ll feel better, I promise,” she said, placing a gentle kiss on Han’s plaster before getting up to clean up the mess. Chan stood there hesitating, his eyes wandering over her body.

This rut was going to kill him, and he felt it tightening around him like a noose.

After dinner, Y/N found herself seated on the floor, carefully trying to help Hyunjin with his brushes when Seungmin called for her running down the steps. She could see the worry etched on his face as he paced in the living room, clearly upset.

“Y/Nnie!” he called out, rushing to her side.

“Yes, my love? What is it?” She looked up at him, curiosity sparkling in her eyes.

“Can you please help me fix it? It ripped,” Seungmin pouted, sinking to his knees between her legs.

“Oh dear,” she frowned, taking in the damage. “I can fix it! Let me grab my sewing box.” With a warm smile, she gently brushed his hair away from his eyes.

“I really need to get you to a haircut,” she sighed, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead before standing up.

“Fine, but not too much!” he huffed playfully.

“Deal. Just a trim, I promise.” She took the sweater from his hands, making sure not to disturb the others gathered in the living room.

As Chan watched Y/N interact with Seungmin, he felt even more confident about putting a baby any her. The way she cared for them—so nurturing and loving—made his heart race. He couldn’t help but imagine her with their future children, how gentle and warm she would be. A blush crept up his cheeks as he entertained some playful thoughts about their future.

“Can I come?” Chan’s voice cut through, curiosity evident in his tone. This might be his chance to steal Y/N away for a moment.

“Yes, of course! It’s going to be boring anyway,” she shrugged, leading the way to her room with Chan close behind. Once there, he settled onto her bed, admiring her as she worked on the sweater.

“Y/N?” he called softly.

“Hm?” She looked up, and he felt a warmth spread through him—she was so soft-spoken and gentle.

“What do you think about having kids?” he asked, not wanting to waste another moment.

She paused, a small smile forming on her lips. “Well, that’s kind of my purpose as an omega, you know? To be bred and nurture pups,” she giggled.

“So you’re open to having a pup right now?” His smile widened, heart racing at the thought.

“Yes, baby, of course I am! I’ve been waiting for a while, actually. You know I’m not getting any younger,” she said, laying the sweater aside to sit on his lap.

“Is this why you boys have been trying to sniff me every time we… well, you know?” she teased, raising an eyebrow.

When omegas get pregnant, their scent changes distinctly, and it was no secret the boys had been checking to see if she was expecting.

“Y-yeah, but we wanted to make sure you were sure since your heat is coming up soon, and I want to be the first—” he stammered, feeling a rush of excitement.

“I’m all yours, baby. You can get me pregnant,” she confirmed, and Chan felt like he was soaring. His hands wrapped around her, pulling her into a deep, lingering kiss.

“I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you too,” she replied, her eyes sparkling with joy.

Trigger Warning 18+:

The next day was rough on Y/N’s body. Her cramps had begun, and all she could do was stay in the heat room, wanting to avoid triggering any of the boys’ ruts. Chan was already feeling his own rut coming on, and it would be difficult for the pack to function with two of their mates in such a state.

She had successfully built her nest, surrounded by soft blankets and pillows, and now she was nestled in the middle of the bed, wearing only a big shirt that Lee Know had given her. The fabric felt comforting against her skin, a reminder of the love and care from her mates, but it did little to quell the throbbing ache in her abdomen.

Y/N shifted slightly, trying to find a comfortable position, but the discomfort was persistent. She focused on her breathing, willing herself to relax.

In between her legs felt like it was on fire as her insides clenched around nothing. Her womb screaming to be filled by one of her alphas. Her nipples were sore under her shirt.

"Hurts..." she whimpered as she squeezed her legs together looking for some type of friction.

Slick was building up and sweat made her hair stick on her skin as her body burned, "Alpha," she cried knowing the boys could hear her through the bond. "Need you please," she whimpered in pain.

Outside the door, all the boys except Chan were trying to calm themselves down. I.N couldn't stop pacing back and forth, and it was starting to irritate everyone.

"I.N, get your shit together!" Seungmin shouted, smacking him hard across the face.

"If he doesn't go down there to breed her, I will," I.N growled, rubbing his cheek.

"He has this one chance and he's not even here," His alpha was furious with Chan, knowing that Y/N was currently suffering down there crying for one of them.

"You know, Chan said he wanted to be the first," Leeknow got up making sure to stand in front of the other alpha. He wanted to make sure I.N didn't charge towards the basement.

"I'm not letting you try to strip that honour from Chan, he's the pack leader. He gets the omega first." The tension in the room thickened as the two alphas squared off, eyes blazing, each unwilling to back down.

"I'm here," Chan stepped into the room.

"No need for all this min, you know it's just his I.N's alpha talking. Step down," Chan's voice was hoarse and he looked awful.

Leeknow scoffed before grabbing his keys. "I can't stand being in here anymore hyung. We have to leave. Just for our sake," He grabbed his duffle bag off the ground.

"We'll see you guys later, Felix call me if things get bad," Changbin was dead serious knowing how rough Chan could get when he was all alpha mode in his rut.

This was a rule in their pack. They knew how possessive they could each get over the omgas so they all just would leave the house and go down to the cabin until it was all over.

"i will, i love you guys and stay safe," Lix walked them out to the car before waving them off and coming back into the house where he found Chan almost collapsing.

His scent was now even stronger and more musky than before. He knew his alpha's rut had began. It was probably because he was now closer to Y/n. She was just a few doors down.

"Oh no, Hyung!" Felix gasped, "Did she trigger your rut already?," he said concerned. Felix quickly ran to the alpha's side to stabilize him from falling.

"I need to go down there now," Chan couldn't take it anymore, his body sweating as he took each step.

"I-if I hurt her, Lix-"

"You won't, Hyung. She trusts you. You've never hurt me before. You'll be okay," Lix kissed his lips before slowly helping him inside the room. His eyes were fully deep dark red. Fuck, game time.

There she lay. her legs spread apart. Little whimpers escaping her lips. She was shaking probably from the pain.

"i'll come check in on you guys in a bit," Felix whispered before quickly leaving the room.

"Alpha?" she looked up from her position, her eyes were glistening.

"I'm here babygirl," he was soft, trying not to jump at her. "Does it hurt hm?"

"Please, n-need you. Need pups. Need to be full. Please," she fell into his arms as her legs quivered. He let her sit right on his throbbing dick.

"You were supposed to start your heat in two days, you just couldn't wait to get pregnant hm? Needed me to breed you so fast?"

"N-no," she whispered. She looked away shy and embarrassed.

"Oh?" he furrowed his eyebrows, "In that case should I just go call-"

"No! No pack alpha always first. Need you. Wanna be a good luna. Wanna carry Alpha's babies," she cried gripping onto his shoulders.

Her nails dug into his skin as her core touched directly on his. She let out a painful groan and started to grind.

"Baby stop that," he groaned, removing her and laying her on the bed. She lets out a whine and cries in frustration.

"I'm gonna take good care of you, my sweet luna."

"Just put it in, please," she interrupted, her eyes flashed gold then blue. Her omega was fully in control.

His hand pinned her down into the bed, his head slowly nuzzling into her shoulder. Her scent fogging his mind as she let out little whimpers.

Her legs wrapped around his waist and he continued to slowly leave small kisses down the sensitive skin around her gland. She felt like slick was now pooling under her as she squirmed at the sensation.

"Gonna let me mark you up, princess?" he growled into her ear. His teeth slowly sank into her skin on the original mark that she had.

She let out a loud moan as he started to lick the bite. She felt like she was going to go feral.

He ripped her shirt apart and she squealed, his mouth landing on her nipple (A/N: Lord save me, I hate this sm).

"Ch-Channie, sensitive," she whimpered, "sensitive." Her body was on fire. Her legs wrapping tighter around him.

He looked up at her before admiring the marks on her neck. He was proud of his work of art.

In no time his pants were on the floor, her eyes landed on his raging boner. His tip pink and swollen already leaking pre-cum.

His hand then slid in between her folds as he slowly guided his dick into her entrance. She's screaming, she's squirming, and both his hands quickly pinned her waist down.

"Behave," he growled and slammed himself inside of her.

"Oh Channie, so deep. Oh my-" Chan's eyes landed on her bare tummy, his panting on top of her.

"Look at this, baby, I can see my dick in your womb," he smirked as he watched the bulge.

"Mnfhggg" she's in lala land. She can't take it anymore, it's just so deep. She cant talk.

"So full alpha," she wraps her arms around his neck.

"Gonna be walking around with a baby bump hm? Gonna grow my baby in you?" He groaned.

"Yes...Please. Yes! Gonna be a pretty mommy just for you," She was crying. Her tears soked the blanket as every thrust pulled her closer to her orgasm.

"So fertile for me baby, look at you," That was the push chan needed. He felt his dick twitch before he came deep inside her.

TW: Chan breeding Y/N link

When Y/N’s heat finally subsided, she lay in chan's bed now, her body marked with bruises—deep blue and purple prints decorating her skin like a canvas of passion. She was completely out of it, lost in the haze of post-heat exhaustion.

"I think you really did it this time, babe," Felix teased, pulling the damp sheets off the bed with a smirk. They were cleaning up the heat room since Felix's heat was soon coming and slick was really hard to get off sheets.

Chan beamed, a glow of satisfaction radiating from him. "Those were the best four days of my life," he replied, his excitement palpable.

Felix chuckled, tossing the sheets into a pile. "Do you think she’ll be able to go to work on Monday?" he asked, his voice light despite the situation.

"I doubt it, but we’ll see," Chan groaned, stretching his limbs before grabbing his phone from the bedside table. He felt the weight of fatigue settling in, but his heart was still racing from the intensity of the past few days. "I’m gonna check on her and then pass out for a few hours. Thank you for taking care of us these past few days," he said, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on Felix’s lips. Without him, Chan wasn’t sure how he would have managed to care for Y/N.

"Anytime, hyung," Felix replied, his voice warm.

Chan’s eyes twinkled with mischief. "Are you ready for your turn?" he smirked, a teasing glint in his eye. "I promise I’ll be more gentle with you."

Felix's cheeks flushed a deep crimson. "Yes, alpha, I am," he stammered, the thought of being the next omega to be bred both thrilling and embarrassing. "But I think we should get you rested up first."

"Yeah, well, I can’t wait," Chan laughed, the sound echoing with joy as he headed toward the stairs.

As Chan slipped into the room, he couldn't resist the urge to lay down beside Y/N. She was fast asleep, her breathing gentle and even. With a tender smile, he rested his hand on her lower belly, feeling the soft curve beneath his palm.

He marveled at how her abdomen had already begun to swell, a beautiful sign of their growing family. The thought sent a thrill through him, excitement bubbling up inside. Soon, they would be parents, and their pack would expand in ways they had only dreamed of.

Chan closed his eyes for a moment, allowing the reality of it all to wash over him. He imagined their little ones, the laughter and joy they would bring, the chaos and love that would fill their home.

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