#there might be a jojo reference somewhere in there

[jetpackgeneratedcat]

It took literal months, but I finished it!!

Top left: linked universe logo

The jojo's lu logo is sooooo detailed. It is one of the things I love about Jojo's asethetic with linked universe. The detail she adds brings so much life and information about the world of Linked Universe. Great example is all the embroidery on the chain's clothing. Let's you know about civilization, that an item may be magical, etc. It is difficult to keep small details in watercolor, but I think I caught most of the main details in the painting.

Middle left: Soulful legend

This was the fourth of the images I did for the painting, and the first image I really started to get into the painting. I think legend is my favorite to paint because he makes composition so easy. The red tunic adds an easy focal point. I did learn from this that I do not like masking fluid and likely won't use it again. It added to many hard edges that I wasn't intending. Very happy with the sky!

Bottom left: Evening snack

In this image, I liked the idea that wind and sky don't know what Ramen is because their worlds don't have enough space to produce wheat. So sky and wind are super excited about this new food, while legend has no idea why they are so hyped for noodles. I also liked the idea that four found a green pepper in the ramen as a topping and is a hater (this is from a note that jojo left somewhere saying that the chain will eat anything but four in the Manga does not like green peppers, idk where this note is to link it though....). I didn't end up drawing the Ramen noodles as it was just getting too small of a scale for me to be comfortable drawing the thin lines for the noodles in.

Bottom right: Testudo

I am very hyped in the future when we see more collaborative fighting with the chain and them working together effectively. I absolutely love the scene in shifting shadows part 3 where lenged and hyrule work together with the beam and hookshot.

Middle: Legends storage

This is a reference to one of jojo's earliest works where the chain goes to legends storage for him to pick up some gear. I love that scene and I tried to put as many references as I could. The one thing I need to figure out is how I want twilight to look. I can't wrap my head around it. Need to sit down and just try out a bunch of different faces for him. My Pinterest inspo for twilight is all over the place. I want twilight to look different from time because when Malon was trying to guess who was the descendent, she did not consider twilight (she looked at wars and wind (so I typically draw time, wind, and wars looking similar). For my own personal headcannon, twilight and time are very similar in their manner (the way the walk, stand, etc) and personality (their stubbornness (as seen in sunset pt3)) but not necessarily in looks.

Middle right: Boat boys

The first image I did. I like how the water turned out, but I will not be using masking fluid for the same reasons I noted earlier. I did trace the boat (i think this is the reference [L240632 Hornet Class. J. Arthur Dixon Ltd. Beken and Son]). I do regret not doing anything creative with the boat, but I just wanted to get into painting and needed some confidence by working directly from a reference. I also forgot that legend might not be so keen to be on a boat again based on a comment jojo left in 2022 or something. I think she mentioned something in a discord event back then about legend not too willing to be on a boat again. But that doesn't really matter, I put that boy in a boat whether he likes it or not lol.

Top right: Winter storm

Second image I did for this painting. I did trace most of the horse because I do not care to learn horse anatomy (ref. [Winter Save By David Stoecklein]) Favorite part about this is the lighting on the rope from the lantern. I think it turn out well.

Top middle: Heavy armour

Third image I did for the painting and the one I realized I need to spend more time painting people in neutral or back lite lighting. But for my first time I think it is good. I really want to see what jojo does with the armour sets! I like the idea that war's armour is clean and pristine while wild's armour is rusted and beaten from the calamity. In this painting I played with adding pink to the golden armour and I liked it. In the middle picture of the collage (legends storage), you can see i added pink to time's armour.

That's everything! ❤️

[skyward-floored]

I know I've asked about First before, but how does he relate to Sky, exactly?

Well, in lu we don’t totally know yet, though I do have some guesses. More on that in a minute though.

First is Sky’s predecessor, according to the manga (which is questionably canon, but isn’t everything in zelda?) at the back of the Hyrule Historia. He’s a good man, but is wrongfully imprisoned for several years before being freed, and is then chosen by Hylia to use the Master Sword to help defeat the demon armies currently trying to take over the land. Hylia rides a crimson loftwing, and it ends up choosing Link as it’s rider as well later on.

Link fights the demons, and ends up in a battle with a leader (its probably Demise, but it’s a bit unclear), and First is grievously injured. First ends up using the Master Sword to send his people up into the sky (this eventually becomes Skyloft) but is unable to join them because of how badly he’s injured, and finally succumbs to his wounds.

I’m mostly cutting out the bits with Hylia, but she does come here and says her whole plan of being a mortal so they can meet again in another life... which I have some lore issues with but you know. Questionably-canon manga. The story then goes to many years later with little sksw Link, who meets the same crimson loftwing First once rode, evident by the marks on its beak, and becomes its new rider.

...

So. The biggest connection between them, aside from the reincarnation thing (which I’m ignoring because Jojo said for lu, it’s not exactly reincarnation between the Links), seems to be the crimson loftwing. Who, in the manga anyways, is the exact same bird, ridden by both First and Sky.

Lu doesn’t seem to be going that exact direction though. Here’s my thoughts.

Remember the crimson loftwing? In the manga, it’s the same one between First and Sky, but in lu that isn’t the case. We see Sky cuddling with a baby Crimson in these doodles, so my guess is that the Crimson Sky has is actually a descendant of First’s.

My biggest proof for this? Well look at them next to each other.

Notice something similar between them? Aside from the color and all that?

CHECK IT OUT. MARKINGS.

The same beak markings, only fainter on Sky’s bird (which adds again to my theory of the birds being descended from each other theory).

It might just be a neat reference, but we all know how much thought Jojo puts into everything in this comic. And First, though he hasn’t been entirely confirmed to be in lu, has been hinted at more then once. (I actually have a post around somewhere that points out all the hints to him and how it’s likely he will be in lu).

But yeah, I think I got a little off track from your original question, sorry XD Hopefully this explained things!

[we-love-morioh-cho]

Random speculation on the possible climax of The Jojolands -

The boat out at sea was one of the first visuals we got of Part 9 and, in the intro to Chapter 1, we see it again being ridden by Jodio and Dragona alone. We also get this imagery of Jodio ascending a volcano when he talks about the Mechanism - and while I think it's possible these are just metaphorical, I think it's also possible that they're hinting at the climax of the story.

I say this because Jojo loves its ocean and/or boat endings. Just off the top of my head and without going into spoilers - the endings of Parts 1, 3, 4, 6 and 7 all feature the sea or characters on a boat in some way. It's not always the literal last page, but it's definitely a motif.

The volcano erupting clearly ties into the lava rock and the lava tubes. A volcano erupting would also resemble the end of Part 2 and maybe the natural disasters / calamities of 7 and 8's endings. And with the set-up that is hasn't erupted in a long time, I feel like this is a safe assumption.

It's way too early to theorize any more, but I have some random loose thoughts. With the endings we've had from recent parts, I'm guessing Part 9 will be tragic or at least bittersweet. While the story so far resembles Golden Wind a lot, I wouldn't be surprised if it incorporates some ideas from Stone Ocean's ending. We also only see Jodio and Dragona on the boat and none of the other protagonists which probably means something 😢

The Jojo Wiki claims that in an interview with Noriko Narumi, the woman who designed the Part 9 logo, she listed some proposed titles for the part. The most interesting was "MADE IN JOJOLANDS". This title was scrapped and it's possibly just a reference to the term "Made in America / the USA" - but obviously it's reminiscent of Made In Heaven. It could've just been a throwback, but if Part 9 is the conclusion to the series / the alt. universe trilogy, then I really think it's possible we might get something similar to the Part 6 ending.

A tragic ending involving two siblings out at sea? Phantom Blood and Stone Ocean both have similar conclusions and, if we are to believe that The Jojolands is the last part, I at least think it would make sense for it to follow this trend and reincorporate these ideas. I can't say if Araki would actually do something like this, but I just noticed these little connections and wanted to put them somewhere.

[narwhal77]

Let's talk about the newest update

Ok, so at the time of writing this post, @linkeduniverse released the next panels about an hour ago. The serious atmosphere is a change of pace from the light-hearted banter of the previous update, especially considering that this update has no dialog. We can tell that something big is about to happen within the upcoming arc.

More than that, we got this image.

So, we can tell that the boys will be doing a dungeon together in the following arc.

I was looking at the comments of this post and I saw a few that were talking about what this dungeon looks like in terms of stuff in the games. My initial thought was the forgotten temple of BotW and TotK in the past, before it got all destroyed.

However, looking at the forgotten temple in-game shows that is definitely not the case.

Even taking out all of the debris and wear over the years, the structure of the two temples is completely different, so I think it's safe to say that the temple in the update is not the forgotten temple.

I saw someone in the comments of the LU post say that it could be the Temple of the Wind Fish, but I don't have an image to cross-reference it with. (I am not that far in Link's Awakening yet, and the only stuff I can find online about it was the egg, which is definitely not the same thing I'm assuming.)

Another commenter also said that it was a temple from the frst loz game, but upon trying to google it, my search results once again came up inconclusive, so I have no clue what to make of this.

I would try to cross-reference it with other temples from across the series that might match up, but I am currently unable to, due to the fact that I am out of town and using my dad's phone as a Hotspot.

So we really have nothing other than the facts to go off of right now

And the facts are only a few images, so it seems that the most likely scenario right now is probably that this temple is just one of Jojos on creating, and it's sandwiched somewhere in between their eras, and it will almost certainly function as a dungeon of sorts.

I'll try to follow up on this post when we get more info, but if anyone has anything that they'd like to add on, I'd love to see it.

[voidscreamintheories]

HtP Theory: A School on Who's the Ghoul 1 of 2

Spoilers for Hunter the Parenting

This is part 3 of a series of theories regarding D’s identity, and what it means for the story. Part 1 here, part 2 here

So the ghoul, the current major crisis which we eagerly await the next episode to learn more. Let me address a few other theories before I get to my big one.

Spit: Despite what just happened, Spit is not the ghoul. He ain’t human though. Spit is probably a werewolf undergoing his first change. He’s currently agitated and nervous, there’s a big full moon outside (even though I don’t think WoD werewolves necessarily change with the moon, they ARE associated), and oh, Fatigue just got gibbed. Some points here. Fatigue was an expert in Lycanthropy, others have called out that maybe he recognized what Spit was going through and wanted to help him. Spit is in a really stressful situation, the ghoul scare probably has him worried since he knows he isn’t acting normal, also we saw him take a rather severe beatdown to start the night, that could be cause for a defensive change. Spit mentions having two voices in his head, it’s not uncommon for Garou to feel like they are two beings, the human and the wolf, maybe spit was hearing his wolf wanting to break out. Relatedly, Garou children tend to be violent and a little anit-social (they do have a wild animal spirit in them), maybe this lead Spit to becoming a Br*tish hooligan? And lastly here, I think the massive blood splatter being on the stuffed wolf in the lounge was a big hint to us what just happened. Spit’s no ghoul, but maybe he could fight one.

Harry: He is so nice and innocent, he has some extra access by virtue of being a strong boi. Maybe his “I only use my muscles for lifting” mantra is because he is worried about being found out if he lets too much ghoul strength show. I think this is disproven a bit by him working out with Markus when I believe Occam gets attacked, though this might fit another theory down below.

Elise: She stole access keys, she’s goth and that’s pretty vampire like. Honestly I don’t think it’s Elise BY HERSELF, again, below.

Grimal: This one I begrudgingly acknowledge has some merit. She bites people all the time, so she might have gotten ghouled on accident by biting a vamp and tasting yummy vitae. She broke Spit’s tailbone with a single yaoi paddle swing (also funny, TAILbone on the guy becoming a furry). She’s also acting strange and panicky. Her arcanum interest is in a type of vampire (even though the Kuei Jin are VASTLY different vamps). Also she and Kitten bonded over mutual experience with the supernatural, and since Kitten’s (alleged, see my Kitten theory) first encounter with the supernatural was against a vampire, it’s possible Grimal has some hand’s on experience with blood suckers. All good thoughts, however counterpoint: I like Grimal and don’t want her to get executed, or turned into a minion of Big D, so I REALLY don’t want this to be true. Please Ogreat Poopybum, don’t turn her into the evil.

Multiple ghouls: Curveball idea, what if there ain’t only one ghoul? Maybe it’s ALL THREE of the Markus friend group, and they were working together to try and get out of the situation. Harry ran distraction against Markus, Elise stole access keys and maybe used the also-stolen cigs as a bribe for the cleaners to be “anywhere but here”, and Grimal caused a very public scene where she broke down at the end, so she could have a reasonable excuse to be snooping on her own. I am worried about this being a possibility also, as I like all three of these characters and I’d prefer them to stick around. The events described could also have happened without them being ghouls, and their just up to something else entirely.

Doctor lady: Not enough screentime to get a good gauge on what she’s up to. It is suspicious she had a bunch of scalpels (unless, was that a Jojo reference?), but also she was coked out of her mind most of the time. I did see somewhere that being on the cocaine might be a smokescreen against potential ghoul withdrawal symptoms. Having a doctor on retainer would be a good idea for a shady organization. Also she does have higher level access than other ghoul potentials.

EXCEPT FOR

Occam. I think Occam is the ghoul. Once more the posts must be split, Occam ghoul theory continued in the second half

[judgedarts]

hi!! proud owner of i think 5 atp jojo chibi charms and VERY new artist alley vendor here and i was just wondering, how do you budget/manage costs for non local cons that might have high transportation costs or more expensive tables? do you usually make back what you spent on transport + table/tickets + merch production/ordering + etc at the con or is there a slight loss? this is mainly for my own reference asking someone successful so ty for answering!!!

hey! congratulations on becoming an AA vendor :,) im very honored that you've bought from me before and that you consider me a 'successful' vendor haha!

i'm really passionate when it comes to talking about AA stuff so I'll be putting my answer in the read more since it's pretty long lol!

to be honest, I'm in a very lucky position to be able to travel to conventions beyond the east coast because it can really get expensive T_T i think the most honest answer i can give you is that your first couple of cons most likely are going to be a slight loss for you income wise if you are planning on traveling for a convention - tbh, i generally don't recommend doing a convention out of your state/out of your means if you're very new to tabling. my very first conventions were in driving/public transport distance (i love you new york and new jersey!!!) so i never spent money other than the table cost and ordering product. so if you're starting out and live in a state that has local cons, id HIGHLY recommend doing local events to get experience and cutting down costs as much as you can so you can get the most out of it! if you do intend on doing out-of-state cons because your state doesn't have many small local cons, i totally get it, but again, just try to keep your costs as low as possible. here are some suggestions and things to keep in mind:

1.split costs with a friend

split the table, split hotel fees, split ubers, etc! if you have family/friends in that state, consider crashing at their place for the weekend! maybe treat them to dinner haha

2. save up funds

honestly, there's really no getting around it - you might have to get income from somewhere else besides selling merch @ cons! i worked a part-time job throughout college, did commissions/freelance, and had my store open to save up for cons.

3. remember to deduct all expenses for your business

keep in mind that table fees/travel and hotel fees/products/meals are all deductible. these are considered investments for your business and they're completely necessary for you to run said business so when it comes tax time, you'll be able to breathe a little easier haha.

4. know your limits and be cautious

unfortunately, not all cons are going to be successful or will go your way no matter how much money you pour into it. if you know a convention is going to be out of your means, you can always apply the following year. I've had plenty of cons i couldn't go to because i simply couldn't afford it at the time, but the more money you save up, the more experience you get, and the more connections you make, you'll be able to afford to go and be successful! i'd also do plenty of research about the convention (especially the attendance #s, how previous vendors feel about the con, etc) before you decide to go. 5. have fun!

even though the upfront price can be intimidating, you are still paying the price to travel, visit a city you've never been to, meet new people, fans, your friends, and make connections! not to mention the really inspiring and motivating atmosphere that artist alley can be. i hope that regardless of the money you make you take the time to enjoy the experience to the fullest and appreciate that you are sharing your awesome art with others :,)! i try to make the best out of a con even if i barely make even, and make new friends and connections because trust me, they are so meaningful ^^<3!

besides all that, i highly recommend joining the Artist Alley Network discord if you haven't already - there's a plethora of info, advice, etc that you can take away from there. https://discord.gg/artistalleynetwork i hope this was helpful! if you have any more specific questions I'm more than happy to answer them for you. if they're too specific or i don't feel comfortable answering, i hope you can understand too! good luck with all your AA endeavors - i believe in you and i really hope we will table at the same con soon!

[duhragonball]

I am not sure why you decided to cover Evangelion all of a sudden, but I am hella old like you and haven't watched it for whatever reason either. (which was strange because it was all the rage back at school thousands of years ago)

Not sure why this series eluded you also, but anyway I just want to thank you for this opportunity as I have decided to watch along. Looking forward to seeing more of your analysis.

Do you have any other bucket list 90s anime series that you have some interest in covering? I recently got around to Martian Successor Nabisco myself because the theme song is amazing

PS: You're a chemist right? Please make some crazy chemical that will make oldness go away for your sake and mine, it's 2024 I can't believe we haven't invented immortality yet

Thank you for reading.

I don't remember exactly when I first heard of NGE, but I'm pretty sure it was in the late 90s, probably in the Diamond Previews or Wizard Magazine. As I got deeper into comic book collecting, I bought both of those publications, and as anime started to gain a foothold in North American nerd culture, I started to see more and more anime/manga products referenced or advertised in Wizard and Previews.

I pretty much despised anime in the early 90s, mostly thanks to poor localizations of shows like Superbook and Speed Racer, which made the whole genre look like a bad joke. I remember those ads for "Japanimation" that tried so hard to make it sound badass and cool, but the ads were so corny that they ended up making the stuff look even dumber. By 1997 or so I had kind of learned to tolerate it as a concept, although I still had no interest in it. Sailor Moon was on Toonami, but it seemed like they only put it in the block to add a certain variety to the show. Vintage superhero fare, Thundercats, Sailor Moon, and that Johnny Quest show with CGI. Then they added an obscure show called Dragon Ball Z to the lineup, and that slowly won me over.

By 2000 I was tuning into Toonami mainly for Batman and Superman TAS, and getting hooked on DBZ and Tenchi Muyo! at the same time. I refer to these as the "Four Horsemen of Toonami" for that reason. In 2001 I started writing a Superman/Tenchi crossover, which basically cemented my status as a huge weeb. (Luffa is just a continuation of my effort to do fanfics of the Four Horsemen block of Toonami.*)

Anyway, somewhere in this period I probably started seeing merch for Rei and Asuka in their plugsuits or whatever they're called. I might have seen the Evas but let's be real, a mech wouldn't have stood out much in a genre full of giant robots. I'd see ads for things like Eva and Revolutionary Girl Utena and wonder just what the hell these things were about, but I also just shrugged and accepted that I would probably never find out, since anime was expensive and difficult to find, and I wasn't going to go out of my way just to satisfy idle curiosity. Back in those days, anime was an investment, and I wasn't going to pay thirty bucks for three episodes of something unless I knew it would be good. I tried a few things like Noir and Excel Saga, but only because I had a fairly decent idea what I was getting into.

By 2016, I had more disposable income, and this blog was pretty well established as a way to spend my free time, so I started looking for new things to watch. I checked out Hellsing Ultimate mostly so I'd be able to understand the jokes in Hellsing Ultimate Abridged. I checked out JJBA because it was red hot at the time, and everyone was talking about who their favorite Jojo was, and I wanted to know what that meant. I checked out Utena because I got a tip that it was available for free on YouTube, and I watched the first season of Sailor Moon. I didn't do all of that in 2016. It probably took me until 2018 to get all that watched.

So it was probably somewhere in there that I gave serious thought to tracking down Neon Genesis Evangelion, because it's one of those that I always wondered about, and now I had the means to actually find it and watch it, and I had enough anime experience that I felt reasonably confident that I could appreciate it. I suspect that I could have screened it between 1997 and 2010 I just would have been confused. But I've seen people talk about it for a lot of years, and probably a lot of that's been on tumblr, and it's just one of those things that's been on the fringes of my pop culture awareness.

I think NGE finally became available on Netflix in 2020 or something? But there were fans complaining about the dubs and the subs, so I thought I should hold off for a while. In 2021 I finally just said "fuck it" and bought a used copy of the "Perfect Collection" on DVD. My thing was, if I was going to watch this, I wanted to get it right the first time. I've savored Dragon Ball for decades by watching the dub, then the subs, but if I'm going to try out new stuff I don't want to have to keep going back to get the "true" experience.

I'm doing it now mainly because I hadn't had time before. I've been caught up in other things, and 2024 looked wide open, so I started thinking about things I've been putting off that I really wanted to do, and this was one of the first things I thought of. I just want to scratch that itch, and even if this show turns out to be awful, at least I can have the satisfaction of knowing I finally saw for myself.

As far as other old anime titles, I don't have any immediate plans. I still need to watch the Akira movie, but I read the manga so that sort of damped my interest in checking out the movie version. Galaxy Express 999 is on my bucket list, kind of for the same reasons as Evangelion and Utena, where I used to see ads for it and wondered what it was about. Fist of the North Star also interests me, because it has a kickass theme song, and I'm pretty sure it had a profound influence on the early years of JJBA. But I probably won't get around to them for a while.

Ultimately, there's only so much I can do with the time I have on this planet. There is no elixir of life, and unless they let you watch anime in heaven, I have to set priorities. One gripe with anime that I still retain from my youth is that it's pretty damn impenetrable. What I mean by that is that you can't even remotely judge a title by its cover, and so much of this stuff runs together that it's impossible to tell what would appeal to me and what isn't worth my time. I think that's why I've let popular culture and memes guide me in recent years. Stuff like JoJo Fridays and "Bitch, I Drink People" are tips that these shows had lasting appeal, and you don't make an impression like that without having a solid story. They can put a bunch of boobs on a DVD cover, but they can't draw a picture of the stuff that counts.

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 11- Part 10

And the worst part of all of that? No dice, no other paths to take. Well, alright, let’s try going back around to find-

WAIT, ANOTHER TRAINER-!?

No! I’m trying to do something here!! Where did you even come from!?

Oh for- go! Shoo! Outta here!

Okay- seriously, how old is the player character supposed to be, here? Legit, I looked up stuff because this is starting to get a little ridiculous-

Seems like in most American places (courtesy of Amtrack), “adult” fares apply to people 13 years and older. However, in Europe, there’s a “child” age range for tickets and…”youth” range tickets? And for the latter, it’s highly dependent on country, like- in the UK it’s 16-25, in France it’s 12-25, in Italian it’s 15-29, etc. And then we look at Japan, where one can be eligible for adult tickets at a similar age, at 12 at the youngest! 

Is this game saying that this person- this person-

-could potentially be as young as 12 years old??? Is that how I’m meant to take dialogue like this?? What is this, JoJo???

Granted, I highly doubt that was intentional, I’m sure the character is meant to be like…an older teenager at the youngest, if not an actual young adult (the latter of which being how I’ve been seeing Xera, as you’ve probably gathered). But with so many NPCs referring to the avatar being younger or even a “kid”- it gets a bit twisted, is all I’m saying, especially with no canon ages (I’m guessing).

Ah, anyways-

Running around Peridot Ward a little bit, and…oh yeah, there were more train tracks! Some of them led east, but I never followed them because I was worried they’d lead somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be yet.

Well, uh- no use avoiding them now. Adventure and exploration, here we come!!

…Oh…we’re gonna have to battle that guy, aren’t we? And given we’re in Peridot Ward, he’s gonna have some low-level Pokémon, isn’t he?

We got a Cheri Berry tho-

Alright, let’s bite the bullet.

aaaaaaaaah-

aaaaAAAAAaaaah-

That might be a hint to the Teddiursa event, but too bad, we’ve already caught it! Back to the right we go-

A…Purple Shard? That’s a new one- last I checked, it’s always just been Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue. Its description doesn’t seem different from the other Shard variants, so- hm.

Anyways, out of the tunnel we go-

Oooh, here we are, back in Opal Ward! And if we keep going right even more, to this other entrance- will it be? Is it true?

It is! Hello again, Underground Railnet!

And look at that, the tunnel has blessed us with a new item as reward for finally finding our way inside here! Now, let’s get to some proper exploration, at last.

…That, uh…that rock there…that’s not what I think it is, is it…?

…It’s a Rock Smash rock. We can’t get past this side of the Railnet, either. We…need the TMX for Rock Smash to do anything here.

Okay. Okay, fine! Fine, game! I didn’t really wanna explore the Underground Railnet anyways! I don’t need the Railnet right now, we caught ourselves a Noibat, that’s all we need anyways!!

We also need this Egg to hatch, because even after all this, it still hasn’t yet-

But it looks like it’s getting really close. Heading back to Obsidia Ward and doing a little more running around should clear out those last Egg cycles, yeah?

Previous

Next

[iron-touch]

Author’s Notes: Chapter 35 (I Know That You Knew That I’ve Known All Along)

Told you this next chapter would come out quickly! Think of it as an early Valentine’s Day gift from me to you.

Bet you guys didn’t believe me when I said “Rumor thirst trap next chapter,” huh? Well, I wasn’t. This is still a beach episode and I’m entitled to one beach episode trope. I tried to make sure it didn’t come off as a male version of “she breasted boobily” (he penised cockishly?) while also conveying the idea that Michelle has a horrible girlfailure crush on Rumor.

Cab’s little monologue about “one perfect hit” is a leftover from the unused version of Chapter 34 where Michelle actively drops the stage light on Cascada. I even had a one-liner planned after the fact where Michelle would’ve been like “I suppose you scored on perfect hit as well. Yours ruined my hair.” I’m still a little bummed that I didn’t use it because I really liked how the sequence went, but the version of Chapter 34 we have now feels much more in character for Michelle. I like that Michelle is less willing to fight than other JoJo characters; to me it makes her feel more unique and relatable. She needs to overcome herself just as much as she needs to overcome her opponent, and often times, we are our own worst enemy.

In case you’re wondering where random SEES recruiter Gordon Nancy gets his name from:

NotDaedalus suggested the name. Yes I have a shadow pfp on Discord rn, shut up.

This might sound weird, but make sure you remember the person taking Michelle’s picture here for later. It’ll come up again.

In case you’re wondering how/why Rumor knows Dio, remember that Rumor spent his entire childhood training to become a Hamon master and extensively studied other Hamon users, including Jonathan. Rumor would know about Phantom Blood-era Dio, but not necessarily Stardust Crusaders-era Dio.

Hol Horse tells Midler in this chapter “I remember when you let me call you Rose.” In the dub/localization of part 3, Midler is instead named Rose to avoid legal action from Bette Midler (The Rose is a famous song and album by her). I always thought it would be neat to combine the two names, making her full name Rose Midler. If you don’t agree with that headcanon though, you can just interpret Rose as an endearing nickname.

If I’m being honest, Hol Horse’s policy against going after other Stand users is there solely so I don’t have to write him hitting on Sara. I don’t think he’d go after Michelle just because he’d be too weirded out by hitting on Polnareff’s daughter, but realistically I don’t think he’d let a 30-something age gap stop him from going after Sara. I don’t wanna write that! That’s why this is here. It’s also why, way back in Chapter 9, the first thing Hol Horse establishes about Sara is that she’s a fellow Stand user, and why he doesn’t try to instantly rizz her up.

The end of the chapter may read like I forgot about the Random Access Memory when writing the last chapter, but I actually didn’t! In fact, I made sure Michelle had it on her. Outside of a few key ideas like shield surfing and dropping the stage light, I had no idea how I wanted the fight to go. I went into Chapter 34 giving Michelle the Random Access Memory just in case I felt like she needed it. Luckily, she didn’t. Even Michelle’s proud of herself for that!

Music references:

Technically none this time, but there is a hidden “mini reference” somewhere in the chapter. It’s more of an inspiration than a reference, so I’m not putting it on the playlist. Cookies for the first person who can find it!

[kotilae]

Been goin through that tasty art block, so nothing like a good challenge to break out of it :’)

(Here’s the template!)

[lasquadraarchive]

Thank u for the la squadra content in this content drought do you have any gelato and sorbet stuff or melone? Aaa thank you this is awesome

Hihiii you're welcome<3 I made this account for la squadra content to be found easier, I think anyone who is obbsessed with la squadra knows how annoying it is to navigate through one website to the other yk.

Also! I'm gonna make a repost for melone stuff in a few mins ! Theres alot to disclose about melone haha..

But anyways,

I unfortunately couldn't find many pictures for sorbet and gelato but but I can list a few facts abt them !

Sorbet and gelato in pitter patter pop

Sorbet and gelato battle card

The deaths of Sorbet and Gelato were likely a reference to Luca Brasi's murder of two enemy mafioso in The Godfather (novel) series.

This is kinda a headcanon but I feel like sorbet and gelato are inspired by Daniel Jones and Darren Hayes (members of savage garden) their desgin implies so and how many people thought they were in a relationship; due to Savage Garden's music mostly being love songs. analogous to how illuso mentioned that Illuso teases that they're a couple and might be getting it on somewhere lmao.

Both Sorbet and Gelato were likely Stand Users, however their abilities were never revealed in the story. this is inferred through Pericolo's remarks in Chapter 470.

(some content comes from JoJo's Bizarre Encyclopedia https://jojowiki.com )

[yrpreciousmoon]

Morioh Hi-Fi (10/25)

Title: Morioh Hi-Fi (10/25)     All Chapters Here Ongoing Playlist Here Fandom: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Pairing: Josuke x Okuyasu; Rohan x Reimi; Koichi x Yukako; more.   Rating: T for now   Description: In an AU where Part 4 never happened, it seems Stand users are still drawn to each other. Rohan Kishibe runs Morioh’s coolest record store, along with the world’s okayest employees: Koichi, Yuya, and Okuyasu. They live happily in their bubble of obscure music references and hipster style points until the fateful day when Josuke Higashikata enters the picture. (aka: Started writing a self indulgent AU heavily inspired by the series and movie High Fidelity, and just decided to lean into it.) Primarily a Josuyasu story, with subplots and minor relationships. And occasionally artwork!

.

Track 09 : Billion Dollar Crush  

.

Okuyasu stood perched at his usual location at Dark Pink's sales counter. He was slumped forward, elbow on the countertop and chin in hand. His eyes, however, were miles away from the store, fixed on something or someone on another plane of existence.

Koichi watched him for a bit, his head tilted to one side. “...Okuyasu,” he finally said, “Something's different about you today.”

“He's quiet,” called Rohan, who was kicked back in his office chair with a hot cup of tea.

“He's thinking,” added Yuya.

“Mmm,” Okuyasu replied. The lack of fight only piqued his co-workers' interest more.

“What's on your mind?” Koichi asked, his voice quiet, gentle.

There was a pause; Koichi waited patiently. Yuya glanced up from his magazine. A loud creak indicated that Rohan had sat forward in his chair.

“I'm just tryin'a sort something out,” Okuyasu said at last, not having moved an inch. When he failed to elaborate any further, Koichi leaned in a bit closer.

“Sort what out?”

Okuyasu let out a long exhale through his nose, his gaze still off somewhere in another galaxy. His fingers tapped lightly on the countertop. “I might be into someone.”

Within a fraction of a second, Koichi scooted in even closer, Yuya let out a playful “oooooh!” and Rohan appeared at his office door.

“Well well well! Who's the lucky lady?” Yuya asked, the eyebrow-waggle audible in his voice. The three men all waited anxiously, a collective holding of breath, as Okuyasu pondered.

“Hm.” Tap, tap, tap. “Think I've got a crush on Josuke,” he finally answered. “Not sure what that means, though.”

Rohan spluttered out a mouthful of tea. Yuya's magazine hit the floor.

“WHAT?” Koichi squeaked, his eyebrows jumping so high that he worried he might strain a muscle in his forehead.

“Yeah, I dunno.” Okuyasu still maintained his detachment. “Think I oughta talk to someone about it though. Prob'ly not you assholes. No offense.”

Rohan turned on his heel and retreated into the office, mumbling under his breath, “Well, you should certainly let Reimi know.”

“Nijimura, you are a fucking wildcard,” Yuya howled. He approached the counter and stared at Okuyasu like he'd just sprouted extra limbs. “I don't know about any of that gay shit, but more power to you, my man.” He drummed his hands on the counter. “So wait, which one of you would be the girl in that situation?”

Koichi swatted at him. “Fungami! You're not helping!” Yuya grunted, rolled his eyes.

“Hey, it's whatever. I guess once you strike out with all the ladies in Morioh, it's time to move on to the dudes.” He turned away with a shake of his head, chuckling to himself as he strutted back towards the magazines.

Koichi loudly cleared his throat and resumed his attempt to bring Okuyasu back to planet Earth. “Um. Hey... Okuyasu?” He waved a hand in front of his face. At last, Okuyasu blinked and turned to look at his friend, his eyes at least slightly more focused now. “Uh... listen, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I think... I actually think Yukako might be able to help you figure things out.” He nervously tapped his fingers together. “I-I mean. At least, if nothing else, she knows about, um... dating... guys?” His voice pitched higher than usual, and Koichi hoped he hadn't just earned himself a beatdown.

Okuyasu blinked again.

“Yeah...” he said, “That's not a bad idea. Yukako's real smart about this kinda stuff.”

Koichi lit up. “Yeah? Yeah! Well hey, I'm going over to her place tomorrow night. I'll double check with her today, but I'm sure she'd be happy to have you there. Sound good?”

Okuyasu nodded. “Sounds good.” He looked away for a moment, something in the store having evidently caught his attention. “...'Scuse me a second, I gotta take care of somethin'...” He pushed himself off the counter and made his way around it, stepping in the direction of a still-snickering Yuya (who was muttering something now about “butts” and “girlfriends.”)

The laughter stopped abruptly once he noticed Okuyasu's warpath.

“...hey, wait,” Yuya croaked, “I'm just kidding, Nijimura, kidding!”

Koichi felt a rush of air through the room and suddenly Yuya was being held up by the collar of his shirt.

“Ya got something to say, motherfucker?” Okuyasu growled. “ 'm all ears, buddy.”

“Hey, hey! Ceasefire! N-no powers in the store, right Kishibe?”

Koichi's gaze flickered from this shit-show over to the window of Rohan's office, where their boss was looking on in absolute glee, evidently hoping that the two idiots on his sales floor would kill each other.

Koichi sighed and stepped in to mediate. He really, really needed to ask for a raise...

.

The walk to Yukako’s apartment the following night was quiet and a bit awkward, but Koichi knew Okuyasu’s brain was working overtime. He had little interest in derailing that thought process, nor in starting up small talk (which would undoubtedly lead to Okuyasu dunking on the new music Koichi had been spinning at work.) So instead they pressed on in near-silence.

When the two arrived at the correct building, Koichi stepped forward towards the doorbell and hesitated before looking over his shoulder at his friend. The taller boy still looked to be a million miles away, hands tucked into his pockets and shoulders drawn up, as if he were feeling a little... shy.

“You alright?” Koichi asked in a small voice. Okuyasu kept his eyes down but nodded, let out an affirming grunt. Koichi rang the bell and stepped back.

There was a soft padding of footsteps, building in volume, and the door flew open to reveal the tall, chic, and uncharacteristically cheerful Yukako. “Oku-yasu!” she exclaimed, quickly pulling him into a hug.

The guys exchanged shocked expressions. Yukako rarely greeted Okuyasu with any real enthusiasm, and certainly never before her own boyfriend.

She whirled around and took Okuyasu's arm, her other hand fluttering out to demand Koichi’s. He took it dutifully and the three walked inside together.

“So, Okuyasu! Koichi told me a little bit about your dilemma. You did the right thing coming to me instead of those meatheads at the record store. Sit, have some tea.” She ushered the dazed-looking fellow to the dining table and promptly sat across from him, Koichi still in tow.

Okuyasu nervously eyed the fourth person at the table, a somewhat older woman who was calmly sipping her own tea.

Koichi threw him a line. “Okuyasu, you remember Aya, Yukako’s flatmate.” Okuyasu nodded to her and she smiled.

Yukako propped her elbows on the table and leaned forward with purpose. “Okay, let's get into it,” she demanded, “Tell us everything.”

Okuyasu looked up to properly meet her eyes for the first time. His brow knitted. “Yeah, uhm… alright, whaddaya wanna know?”

“Koichi says you have a crush on Josuke Higashikata?”

“Yeah.” He squirmed a bit in his seat. “I guess so.”

She let out an annoyed little huff. This clearly wasn't going fast enough for her. “Well? You’ve never felt that way about a boy before?”

“Uh… not really. Not as far as I know.”

“Okay, so?” She pushed, “What made you suddenly feel this way?”

“Ehh…” Okuyasu glanced off into space again, “It was real unexpected. Josuke showed up at my place to talk about some... stuff…”

“What kind of stuff?”

He held up his hands, shook his head. “Personal stuff! ‘M not gonna get into it without his permission.”

“Okay, fine.” She still sounded annoyed, and Koichi figured she would soon be hounding Josuke for this information as well. “We'll skip that for now. But what happened next?”

“Well, I dunno. We were talkin’, and he was pretty upset about somethin’ and all of th' sudden he… kissed me.” Okuyasu scratched at his neck and his face grew flushed. In spite of himself, Koichi felt his own face warm as well. But Yukako clapped her hands together and brought them to her lips, looking positively giddy. Aya, for her part, nodded sagely and lifted her teacup again.

“Why did he do it? And what did you do?”

“I– He– He said it made him feel better. Like bein’ hugged.” Yukako snorted, Koichi elbowed her. “And I… I mean at first it kinda freaked me out, t' be honest, but then I thought maybe it… felt like… not bad?” Okuyasu pulled his feet up onto the chair, knees to his chest. Koichi had seen him get weird and anxious around girls before, but this was something entirely new. He was probably worried that everyone would be scandalized by this revelation of his — and from what Koichi knew about Okuyasu’s history, he’d probably always been around people who would be.

“So. You liked it,” Yukako said.

“I guess so. But like, I dunno. Maybe I’m just lonely.”

“Weren't you just recently on a date though? With one Reimi Sugimoto?” She snapped it out like she was interrogating a suspected criminal. Okuyasu’s eyebrows climbed, a bit shocked by her change in demeanor.

“Um. Yeah…?”

“So couldn’t you have just made out with her if you were so desperate and lonely?”

“Yeah, I guess?” Now it was his turn to sound annoyed. “Like I said, it’s not like either of us we’re plannin’ on kissin'. It just happened.”

“It happened. And you liked it.”

“So what if I did?” He was full-on glaring at her now.

“Oh, don't be so defensive. I’m just trying to get a feeling of what we’re dealing with here.”

“If I may…” Aya set her teacup down with a definitive clink, and all eyes turned to her. “I think what Yukako means is that she wants to find out if this was just a one time thing, a school girl crush, or if you really like this guy. If it’s something you truly want to pursue. You don't want to be chasing after something that's a dead-end.”

Okuyasu stared at her for a good long while, then his eyes flicked down to the table. “The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there’s… somethin’… special about him.” Okuyasu whipped his head in the other direction. They could all still easily tell how red he was.

“Okuyasu, dear, it’s nothing to be embarrassed by,” Aya said quietly. “You enjoy all the time you spend together. You can’t wait to see him again. You feel like he sees you for who you truly are. You think the world of him, and he does of you. Am I right?”

He cleared his throat, but still stared intently at the bookshelf on the other side of the room. “Yeh.”

“Well.” Aya smiled. “That sounds like love to me.”

Yukako squealed. Koichi knew she was thinking about the prospect of double-dates with someone other than her catty university friends and their empty-headed partners. It was an appealing concept, to be sure. Although – he couldn't help but smirk to himself – not that Josuke and Okuyasu would be all that different.

Okuyasu finally turned back around, flashing Aya his big, wet puppy dog eyes. “Okay, okay, I get it! I'm fallin' in love with a dude! So what the fuck do I do about it?”

Yukako jumped in again. “Listen, Okuyasu. In my expert opinion, it seems that Josuke likes you too. But he’s got a reputation. He’s high maintenance. In other words, he’s out of your league.”

Koichi let out a small sound of indignation, but Okuyasu nodded along.

“He’s got refined tastes. You’ve really got to wow him if you’re serious about this. And you’ve got to be straight forward, alright?”

“I am straight forward!”

“Okuyasu, I’ve watched you strike out with girls for years and it’s because you never make the first move. Josuke’s not going to wait around for you to figure it out.” He opened his mouth to protest but she raised a warning finger and went on, “Fortunately, we’re going to help you do that.”

“Alright.” Okuyasu readjusted himself on the chair and crossed his arms. “So why don't ya just tell me what to do? Or not do?”

“Isn't it obvious? The first step is to tell him that you like him! Be clear and up front. Don’t leave any ambiguity. And do it soon, before he gets bored and moves on to the next thing. Do you hear me?”

“Um.” Okuyasu blinked at her.

“Oh, and you absolutely must spoil the boy if you want his affection. Shower him in pretty words and even prettier things. And...” She took a moment to scrutinize his appearance. “Do you own any decent clothing? He's not going to be seen with someone who looks like they got their wardrobe dumpster-diving behind Owson's. Don't worry, I've got a whole stack of magazines for you to study. I've earmarked a few things that I think you ought to pay special attention to. Fashion and etiquette.”

“Jeez... Maybe I should be writin' this down.”

“Absolutely! I will be quizzing you on it later.”

Okuyasu sent Koichi his best Is-she-serious look, met with a grim Serious-as-a-heart-attack nod.

“Okuyasu,” Aya broke in, “Yukako's advice is very... practical, and worth considering. But the most important thing in matters of the heart is honesty. With yourself, and with him. Think of it this way... you haven't gotten so close to him already by trying to be something you're not.”

“Huh.” Something about that really seemed to resonate with him. “Yeah! Kinda like all that stuff he was sayin' about Ziggy Stardust, and like, rememberin' who ya really are!”

The other three just stared blankly at him.

“...Ziggy... what?” asked Aya, looking utterly perplexed.

Yukako waved the topic away. “Nevermind all that. Yes, Okuyasu, honesty is great. But it's not everything. You need a little...” She looked him up and down again, scowling. “...panache. How else do you think Koichi managed to get with a beauty like me?” She tossed her hair for emphasis.

“Hey–!” Koichi started.

“I love you very much, dear,” she said, before quickly refocusing back on Okuyasu. “What really piqued my interest at the start was how handsome and mature and confident Koichi looked. I could tell at first sight that he was a man among boys. There's nothing sexier than a man with his shit together.”

“But I don't have my shit together,” Okuyasu said flatly.

“That's not the point!” She sighed, closing her eyes and dramatically touching her fingertips to her forehead. “Just... Listen. Clear your schedule for tomorrow afternoon.”

Okuyasu shrugged. “Done.”

She opened her eyes again, and the intensity of her stare was felt by all. “Okuyasu!” she barked. He squeaked in surprise. Yukako stood swiftly from her chair and slapped her hands down on the table, making everyone jump. “Get ready! We're taking you shopping!”

.

Bonus idk:

[cardsbizarreadventure]

just about anybody could hear yuumi fungami’s heels click loudly against the ground as she approached them furiously. she was really out for blood at this time, enraged by the beatdown her older brother received at the hands of josuke higashikata. while she was uneducated about the entire charade on both sides, she obviously took up for him since he was family regardless of his deserving of it. her hand gave a rough shake to the taller student’s shoulder once she stood behind him. “ there you are, jojo! i’ve been looking around everywhere for you. ” she said, her words laced with venom. as he turned around to face her, her mismatched eyes widened in fear. “ o-oh... you’re not josuke... i’m sorry about that... ” she released a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of her neck. after a moment, she gasped. “ hey, wait a minute... haven’t i seen you somewhere before? ” she inquired, looking him up and down. “you’re in my class, right?.. a-and... you’re yorie yamagishi’s boyfriend!! ” she exclaimed in realization.

Bunsei was just regaining his breath as groans of pain could be heard in the small alley between two buildings until they had finally stopped . He was at it again , getting himself in trouble thought however this time it wasn't his fault , one thing he couldn't stand at all was the fact when someone thought they can harm innocents without any sort of consequence because they thought it was funny , in the end because lets face it Bunsei was never the calm type to be around , if someone dared to even insult him he was going to make sure that the words that came out of that person's mouth eats them quite literally . Bunsei peeked on his side at the figure that was literally laying in a pile of trash and just gritted his teeth annoyed. ->" Next time you get cocky , it won't go so 'easy' on you. " He reached down and picked up his bag that he had left to the side before he began to throw punches at the individual who was causing problems. Bunsei reached up and wiped his bloody nose into his hand without even caring that was all over his bandaged hands now. He walked down the street , it seemed to be pretty peaceful today since it was in the middle of the week and usually on week days the small town of Morioh wasn't as busy as the weekends. Bunsei felt a slight sting on his hand causing him to pause himself and look into the source of pain he was feeling all of a sudden , it seems like he had injured himself when he smashed that punk's head into a window earlier , he brought his hand up and just frowned. After a short moment he felt a small tap on his shoulder which caused him to dart his attention towards it , for a moment there he might of thought some of 'his friends' were going to go after Bunsei but for his luck it was just a girl who he didn't recall really stumbling upon before. He dropped his bloody hand down as he clenched his fist . The girl referred to him as Jojo? Just who the hell was that? He thought to himself as his toxic green eyes met her mismatched ones. ->" I don't pay much attention to my surroundings." He exclaimed as the irritation in his voice could be easily detected . The moment the girl mentioned that he was 'Yorie Yamagishi's boyfriend' made him rise an eyebrow at that statement . ' What kind of rumors have been spreading around lately? Guess I've missed this one. ' A thought crossed his mind as he kept his composure calm. ->" I've always hated when someone spreads rumors... let alone when they are on my address. However my 'relationships' are of no concern to anyone. " Bunsei stated clearly. There was some complications on his side , yet he was not just going to flat out admit anything just yet , let alone to some stranger he had just met.

[smarmaladey]

The Bad Touch - (1/3)

Chapter 1 - “you and me”

Rating: 🇪

Fandom: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Relationship(s):  🐞♡🚺

Words: 4032

Ao3 Link

(For content warnings and additional notes, click read more.)

The recessive vampire genes in Giorno's blood haven't been sitting too well with him lately. AKA, your boss is in heat. Oh god. Oh fuck. 

content warnings: rape/non-con elements, ooc (probably), AU (probably)

Enjoy!

♡🐞♡

Sunday.

4:00 PM.

The first incident.

♡🐞♡

Christ.

Seriously? In your three years working in espionage, this was the most tedious assignment you’d ever gone with? Retrieving a couple godforsaken papers from some insignificant rival group?

Whatever. It was done.

The fruits of your labor were safely tucked in the inside of your coat, ready to be delivered to the big man himself.

You could never fully understand why your boss always made you deliver crap straight to him. Maybe it was a trust thing?

During the span of your near two-year “career” under Passione, you’d managed to be slung up the ranks by the combination of your competence, ability, and tendency to work alone. This meant getting strangely close with the head of the whole shebang, normally taking your assignments straight from the man.

You never really made a big deal out of this. Giovanna was far from a super-secretive man, nor was he cold like one might expect from a goddamn mob boss. Hell , If the lowest, newest, meekest member of a scummy group did one thing that pleased him, he’d probably invite them to dinner at the most prestigious establishment in Rome. Or at least that’s what he came across as to you.

It was kind of sketchy.

But you didn’t really care, nor did you have any right to criticize the guy.

Dwelling on those thoughts wasn’t your style. All you had to do today was: Deliver the file, leave the office, get home, and finally, watch your shows. Simple.

After somehow making your way through his large estate to his office all by yourself, something was a little off.

The door was closed all the way.

You cracked it open a little bit, the too-loud creaking making you uneasy.

“Sir…?”

“Ah,” his voice was much too quiet, and almost...frantic. “Who’s this?”

How the hell am I supposed to respond to that? “Uhm, me?” You took the liberty of letting yourself in, slightly put off by how dim the room was. Facing you was the back of a leather chair.

Giovanna was looking out of the floor-to-ceiling windows at the back of his office, curtains pulled half-open, casting soft afternoon light into the room. “...I’m guessing you have the documents?”

“Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t…” Muttering under your breath, you took the black folder from your coat.

He turned around when he heard your footsteps (because of course he could), being illuminated by the yellow-er light from the ceiling lamp.

The files were gently set down on his desk, and you caught him looking up at your face.

Something you’d been noticing for the past few months, (actually, you were pretty sure it began around his eighteenth birthday) he’d been... adorning himself more than usual…? As if he wasn’t already grandiose enough, he’d been wearing makeup quite a lot more than you were used to.

Giovanna smiled up at you, and successfully got you to avert your gaze. His lips were glossed with a very lovely fuchsia, but what really caught your eye were his cloud-white, glittering teeth. And you had no clue why. Something was off about his teeth, besides the fact that, like the rest of him, they were grossly perfect.

He was clad in a classic; magenta suit with numerous full-golden brooches. (Those ones were new, given to him by a “friend of the organization” apparently, and you had no idea why you knew this) Glancing at his hands on the folder, his nails, manicured into rounded points and painted white, contrasted with the signature black leather of your favorite binder.

Strange. His door was completely shut, as if nobody had seen him for the entire day. Why was he still dressed up…?

Swallowing nothing, you took a step back.

“Let’s see…” Your boss’s voice was still quiet, as he carefully tugged the manila files out and placed them on his desk. “Ah, bravo! These are exactly what we’ve been looking for!”

Before you knew it, he had snatched your hand and was shaking it with both of his. The nails digging into your wrist made you cringe.

”Thank you, Sir...thank you…” You tried with all your being not to sound confused or ungrateful, especially with those...intense turquoise eyes glaring up into your soul.

“I expected nothing less of this, perfect job!” His hands lingered for too long before he dropped to start reading the documents again.

You mumbled something, turned around, and began to leave. Yet, just as your hand was on the tacky flower-themed doorknob, he stopped you.

“Wait,” the jump from his chair was audible. “I, ahem, I never dismissed you.” There was a small giggle in his voice, and you weren’t buying it.

Ugh.

“Awh, but Don Giovanna~~! ♡ I’ve had such a long, looong day, and my poor body’s so, sooo tired! Please let me go home, haven’t I done such a good job already~? ♡ There’s a new X-Files episode premiering tonight, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world~!”

That’s what you could’ve said in an ideal world.  

“Right.” In that world, he’d let you leave right away, “am I needed for anything else, Giovanna?” And then you’d go to your quiet, expensive beach house and get an amazing night’s sleep.

He shuffled in his seat a bit. “Yes, why don’t you hang up your coat?” He spoke without looking at you, scanning the files in front of him. “You must be hot in this room, I know I’ve been all day…”

You nodded once. “I think the air conditioning here might be broken…” your boss’s words mostly flew over your head. “I’ve just been feeling so overheated lately. I even keep the door shut now just so the cool air doesn’t leave this room…” You nodded again. “Do you think I should get a fan?” Again.

When you fully took off your heavy coat, you flinched.

Holy shit, it’s freezing.

With your bare arms exposed, you finally processed how cold it was in the room. No sooner did the temperature register with the rest of your body.

The coat rack, like a lot in the room, was floral themed. The decoration of the entire office was pretty on point, but when you walked back across the room again, something new grabbed your attention.

On the ceiling, the round lamp that hung down had a new look. The paper lampshade had a sort of “Classical Asian Art” look to it, like Japanese “Ukiyo-e” or whatever it was called. Neat.

“Nice lamp.” You said, breaking the silence. Giovanna glanced at you, and you pointed up at the ceiling. “It looks nice.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Sitting across from him, you felt somewhat trapped. Just a little, though. It was just...quiet, with him reading papers and you...not.

This guy…

Your heart jumped when he shut the folder in front of your face. “Could you do me a favor, please?” Giovanna pointed somewhere behind you, at one of the many bookshelves lining the walls. “There should be a…” He cleared his throat, something he had been doing a lot during this meeting. “...a sort of history book on the Holy Roman Empire over there...”

Not bothering to say anything else, you got up. He gave you clarification and you were happy to get a little farther from him.

The books were all similar-looking with hard-to-read spines. It honestly felt like they were all sorted by color rather than title, and perfectly lined up with one another. How can one man manage to be so perfectly organized?

“Sir, which shelf is it?” You weren’t answered, as Giovanna had to clear his throat again. “...are you alright? Have you been ill these past few days?”

He waved at you not to worry. “I should be fine, I’ve just been so thirsty lately…”

“Ah.”

“It’s so strange, my throat is constantly dry…”

“That so? Would you like me to get some water?” You offered, still facing the bookshelf.

Once more, he cleared his throat. “No, that’s not necessary. Don’t worry about me too much…”

Everything seemed to stop awkwardly.

“It’s probably on the fourth shelf down, the title should be obvious…”

And like that, you found it.

“Grazie, grazie!” Giovanna almost cooed to you when you handed him the leatherback book. When he took it from you, his nails hit your fingertips, but you were distracted by seeing his teeth again. Still, you couldn’t tell what was up.

“Yeah, right…” You sat back down across from him, as he almost immediately started looking through the pages. “So why do you need the history book again…?”

He slid a document to you and pointed at some random word. “Well, it seems like in these records, they refer to--” Out. Everything else he said went through one ear, out the other.

“...right.”

“--and in this, this is a--”

“...yeah.”

“--which leads me to this one, which I have…”

When he trailed off, it went quiet again.

“This. I’ve seen this quote before!” He was pointing at the bottom of one of the first documents you snatched.

You were about to respond with another “oh really?” before he pointed out at another bookshelf, this time much closer to the desk.

“It’s smaller, but it’s right over there, I’m pretty sure.” Again, the books were all sorted by size and color, so you couldn’t tell anything from each other. He must’ve taken off the sleeves, too, because some didn’t even have a title on the spine.

You really wanted to snarl something at him. “Where am I looking again?”

Giovanna tried to clarify the location again, but it wasn’t working with you. Just get up yourself, asshole.

And he did! For the first time you’d seen that day, he rose from his chair and stared at the same row of books you were. Maybe the same exact book you were looking at. He must’ve, why else would he be standing so close?

“I could’ve sworn I put it around here…” You could hear his breathing. Stepping away, you watched him stand stiff and stare at all the books.

Your eyes were beginning to hurt. It’d been so long since you’d slept, all you needed was to go. “Enough, what’s the title of the book?” You were careful not to groan or scoff before or after you spoke.

Giovanna touched his chin with his index, looking, frankly, gorgeous from a profile shot. “It was called...ah, Invitation to a Beheading? Something like that?”

Something clicked in your head so fast you could’ve sworn you heard a ring.

“Ohhh! I’m pretty sure I remember my mom reading that book!” A quick memory of the book’s appearance flashed in your head, that matched something you had seen on another shelf earlier perfectly. “It’d be over here-”

Now, what happened next needs to be analyzed, because you were 99.9% sure this single moment was the straw on the camel’s back. The action that began the downfall. The great whore to your Babylon.

All you did was turn around, turn around right next to him, so you could head to another bookshelf.

The thing was, you weren’t paying attention to how you were moving your arms, only focused on the stupid goddamn book. Innocently, your arm swung and, as a result, your hand just brushed against his --Giovanna’s, your boss’s-- upper thigh...area. The back of it. You know, that area, the one between the tailbone and the leg, that one.

To put it bluntly, you touched his ass.

Both you two froze in that moment, you could tell. Maybe time stopped.

"...civetta."

You looked back around, to make sure you had heard that right.

"I'm sorry…?"

"Ah...you're such a little tease, aren't you…?"

Huh?

Blood in your veins went cold when you saw the pure, unadulterated salacity in his eyes.

Your fight-or-flight instinct kicked in, and you tried to look to the side, or even turn around, but it was much too late. Giovanna had promptly moved to you, caged your face with his hands and turned you up to look at him.

The eye contact was brief, his gaze drilling into yours, before he forced you into a kiss.  

A shock went down your spine and made you stiffen. Almost instantly, you tasted the strange (and revoltingly pleasant) flavor of his lip gloss, and grew hyper-aware of not only the shape of his mouth, but the contrast of his body heat against yours.

Eyes widened, you uttered out a shocked, muffled noise that only seemed to make his ever-growing body temperature even warmer.

You tried to push against him, but he just grunted and tugged your body against his. Squishing your eyes shut, you tried pushing and palming at his chest, which only made him hold on tighter.

Eventually he detached for air, a thin string of saliva connecting the two of you appearing only briefly. Giovanna's green eyes were absolutely hazed over, a vibrant pink dyeing his usually white face.

A million words were dashing through your head --why? what? who? how? me? you?-- but your brain was incapable of stringing together anything coherent.

It wouldn't have mattered if it had been, though, because almost as soon as the golden boy had pulled away, he pulled in once more.

This time, he took advantage of your pried open mouth to invade you near completely. In the midst, your tongue ended up brushing against one of his teeth--one of his canines.

Sharp. Too sharp.

With that, it was cut short by you successfully jerking away. While he didn't let you go, Giovanna withdrew again, wiping off his smeared lip gloss with the back of his hand.

"Sir! I--" Idiotically, you had assumed it was over, but surely enough, your wrists had gotten snatched.

Next thing you knew, the side of your face had been pushed up against the nearest vertical surface, with Giovanna mewing your body with his own.

"Gh…no..." Your voice had gotten higher, weaker too, "Sir...ah, Don Giovanna, please...I don't understand...why, what is this…?"

"You 'don't understand'? Really now?"  

You trembled at how close his voice had become, now so close to your ear that you could hear his tongue detaching from the roof of his mouth. “Sir, I--”

“Ah,” he breathed out a small laugh, “don’t try and play coy with me, cara, you knew exactly what you were doing…”

Giovanna had noticed how you reacted to his voice, so he decided to drag his tongue along the shell of your ear, before kissing it directly. Again, you let out a weak noise as warmth shocked your body.

Trying to get away from his voice, you turned forward and pressed your forehead against the shelf, perhaps in an attempt to squeeze yourself between the books and escape.

"Oh, when you tried to leave me earlier," he was beginning to sound almost whiney with how breathy his voice was becoming, clutching your shoulder and hand with an iron grip. "I swear, if you left, I would've…"

He never finished that statement, too distracted by trailing his hand from your shoulder, down your torso, all the way to the bottom of your high-waisted shorts.

"These...ah, did you really expect to come in here, wearing these, and be able to get away~?"

Even with your panic-blinded brain, you knew you had worn these (admittedly, skimpy) pants around him plenty of times before. He never had any problems until now…

"Giovanna, this is- ah!"

Your words were choked back when he had slipped his hand beneath the waistband of your pants. Underwear too, as he wasted little time trying to force his hand between your closed thighs.

His hand had no trouble finding that little rift in your flesh, middle finger delving between and pressing against the sensitive little nub inside.

In a near instant, your legs went from straight to bent, beginning to tremble. You cursed yourself for near literally becoming putty in his hands, but your brain was still fried and unable to think straight.

With a charming, pleased hum, he swirled his finger around, generating more embarrassing sounds from you. He kept his chest firm on your back, making sure you couldn't wriggle away from his grasp.

Giovanna slid his finger lower and curled it, his digit entering your body with a very slight pinch. You yelped again, hyper-aware of the quiet, very muffled squelching sound made.

"Oh, it's so wet here…" he tittered, sending even more polarizing feelings coursing through your veins.

"N-no...not there, you can't…" The softness of his hand, the smoothness of his nail, invading your warm insides made you feel extremely weak, like your body could cave in at any second. Your feet began to slide back on the hardwood floor, so Giovanna took extra care securing his lower body against yours as well.

Tragically, you tried rocking against his hand, begging for relief. That stopped when you realized you could feel his hard-on through the material of his satin clothing.

He decided he'd had enough of whatever this was, extracting his hand from your clothing and backing up a tad. After lapping his finger clean, he took a second to "compose" himself.

"I apologize, I know this isn't the most comfortable place for us, at the moment…" you were gently hugged from behind, him nuzzling into the top of your head a bit.

You wanted to take the opportunity to break away from him, but before you could even realize he had hastily lifted you up. The bright light made you reflexively shut your eyes, but it didn't stop you from trying to wiggle out of his hold.

Giovanna brought you to his large, cushioned chair, sitting himself down and maneuvering your limbs just so you were straddling him. He tried to hug you again, but you pushed yourself away, hands at his chest.

"Sir…please, we have to stop." A tiny, nagging part of your brain knew this wouldn't reason with him, so you added on, "...not now. Not here, at least…"

His engaged expression turned into a soft, content smile.

Holy fuck, did I actually get him to listen? Will I actually get away with my dignity after all?

You nearly smiled at the seemingly good sign.

But instead of letting you go, he spun the chair around, grabbing your wrists.

Actually, it wasn't him grabbing you. Not exactly.

Ghostly white-gold hands faded in, pulling your arms away from each other, as he pushed your torso away, tugged your shins so they dropped from the chair and onto the floor, and secured your pelvis against his.

In the end, the position you had been forced into was both uncomfortable and humiliating, with G • E restraining your arms, the edge of the desk pressing into the small or your back, and to top it all off, your boss firmly holding your groins together.

It made you want to cry, so you did. Just a little bit, though.

"Ah, please don't worry! I don't plan on having briefings with anybody else, so let's not worry about…"

He completely trailed off, losing his train of thought as he looked over your body in silence. It stayed like this for a couple seconds, with him not exactly sure what to do next, and you refusing to look at anything.

Eventually, he leaned forward a bit, reached to the bottom of your top. You glared at his hand as it grabbed onto the hem, and in a single motion, yanked it over your chest. The cold air enveloped your now exposed breasts made your muscles jerk inward, giving the desk a little shake.

In the tense moment, he kind of just stared for a few seconds, eyes round and doe-ish, face very flushed.

He doesn't know what he's doing. And he doesn't even care.

Wetness dotting his yellow lashes, he suddenly wrapped his arms around your torso, nudging up into the crook of your neck and drawing in your scent. You would've wondered why he looked like he was crying, but your mind was occupied with the embarrassment that came with knowing how sweaty you were. Not like he cared.

Giovanna pressed a couple pecks to the bottom of your jaw, before lowering and quickly licking up the side of your neck. He pulled back about a centimeter, and you watched in suspense as  his eyes trailed down to your chest.

He traced a very faint vein with the tip of his nail, one embedded in your breast, until he reached your nipple, erected by the cold air. He took it between the tips of his fingers, rolling it gently.

The muscles in your chest tensed as he cupped your tit with one hand, and slid the other down your body again.

While groping you, he had his lips ghosting the area around your collarbone, wanting to feel every small detail of your skin. His breath felt like it was getting hotter every second, and you were sure that the stuttering little snivels coming out of your mouth were only making things worse.

With a little roll of his chair, Giovanna pushed his groin up against yours, the slight friction made on your vital spot just enough to make you squirm.

His hands really had no right to feel as wonderful as they did, smooth and supple, incredibly warm, and glazed with a sheer bit of sweat. It felt like they were made for your body, as it accepted his touch completely, whether he was groping you or continuing to explore your insides with his digits.

You continued to try and fight back, be it very weakly, by wiggling your lower body best you could. What made you completely give up the quarrel was Giovanna leaning down and taking one of your stiff teats in his mouth. The sudden feeling made you reflexively cave in your chest, as your elbows finally touched the cool wood of his desk. In the back of your hazed mind, you took note of how G • E loosened his hold.

He put more pressure on your body, eyebrows knit, like he was savoring the taste of your skin. As he grew rougher, you felt his sharp canines poke at your supple flesh, and you jerked again.

Giovanna responded by slipping another digit inside, pushing you back a tad more while staying latched on your chest.

Too much. It's all too much.

With seemingly nothing else to do, you let your head drop back. Then, you saw an opportunity.

The lamp.

See, while you had been tangled up in getting restrained by your Boss's Stand, you somehow forgot one critical fact; that you had one too.

The key to escaping this Freudian Nightmare was, quite literally, glaring you in the face.

And all you needed was just another little push…

As if on cue, your arms slid back about a half-centimeter more, and you grabbed the opportunity with an iron grip.

Now.

In an actual blink, Giovanna's ceiling lamp imploded, causing the room to go dark. The minor vacuum caused was enough to make the desk shake, and you slide across and onto the floor ahead.

Despite landing awkwardly on your shoulders, you hastily got on your ass, tugged down your shirt, and rose to your feet.

The relief you felt when you finally reached the door was indescribable, yet you still found yourself glancing back.

Pulverized glass was still falling through the air, what once remained of the most interesting part of the room now glittering with sunset light. Giovanna, on the other hand, had rolled his chair back a bit, adorably rubbing his eyes.

Hit one!

The beat of your heart was racing, yet…

"Giorno, I'm sorry!"

Hit two!

You had no time to dwell on your apology, though, as you rushed out the door.

Hit three! Triple fuckup combo!

You leapt off the mezzanine to the ground floor, and made a dash to the exit.

The cool air of the night came to rightfully claim you. That night, while running across the Italian countryside, you felt rather different.

Needless to say, you missed that night's episode of X-Files.

♡🐞♡

n: thanks to aaron for making the title cards for me, he’s a great skunk man!  I said i was gonna do it, and here i am.  Hopefully this means i’ll be able to start using tumblr a bit more frequently... Or maybe it won’t, who knows? I’ll post the second chapter here tomorrow, and as for the last one...it’s coming, don’t fret :D

[tornrose24]

I saw Sonic the Hedgehog earlier and I am surprised at how good it actually turned out after all the stuff it went through beforehand. These are my random thoughts regarding the film:

-There were kids in the theater when I saw it and not only are these little ones the purest sort of fans, but you could tell that they really enjoyed this film (and one child had a Tails backpack with them).

-Hearing the famous Green Hills theme play multiple time, especially at the start was really nice.

-No drowning music though... though since it’s  it’s such a source of stress, maybe it was for the best.

-This version of Sonic was pretty good. Ben definitely gave him that ‘Just an excitable kid with a huge heart’ kind of soul. I couldn’t get over how tiny he actually was though!

-I guess Sonic nicknaming others was supposed to help build up to the ‘Eggman’ nickname.

-Baby Sonic is precious and he deserved better.

-Yeah, if Knuckles shows up in the inevitable sequel, there’s going to be some awkward tension (you know what I’m talking about).

-I demand more scenes of Sonic and Jojo. That girl is such an angel and the fact that she’s the one to give Sonic his shoes makes her awesome. (bonus points for being a little fan girl a few scenes later.

-I had a huge smile when I saw the Siskyou County sign that indicated when you are about to enter into California from the Northern end of the state. Not only does the Northernmost end of California rarely get as much attention as the more well known parts, but I can imagine every theatergoer from Siskyou County who saw that sign felt a huge sense of pride.

-Both Tom and Maddie were great.

-Robotnik was mentioning how he was an orphan and I couldn’t help but think ‘yeah, since his grandfather’s fate was probably the same in SA2.”....

-Though there’s a line where he says ‘Guess what I got in my egg sac.’ Now this was in-reference to a book and he was talking about his robots but my mind went somewhere unpleasant with that one since he’s also known as... well I have a feeling some fans are going to have fun with that line. *sighs* Damnit Jim Carrey.

-But seriously, Jim Carrey was great to watch. He was clearly having fun and he was pretty amusing. I’m amazed at how James was able to keep a straight face around him.

-Actually it felt like there was more antagonism between Robotnik and Tom than Robotnik and Sonic until the big climax.

SPOILER THOUGHTS:

-I had a feeling Sonic would banish Eggman to another world and the fact that bald!Eggman’s scene in the trailer feature mushrooms... well, I saw it coming a mile away. At the same time I was thinking ‘dude, that was a BIG mistake.’

-The Govt. Guy mentioned that Robotnik was pretty much erased as an individual when he left... why do I get the feeling they did the same with his grandfather if they ever adopt Sonic Adventure 2? The fact that Robotnik said he was an orphan raised some questions too.

-The fact that Sonic got adopted by Tom and Maddie was sweet, but I was sure he’d be heading back to his home planet.

-So the die hard fans clapped at the end credits... then they clapped for someone mentioned on the credits for some reason... and of course they FREAKED OUT and cheered over Tails. I couldn’t help but clap too and he looks pretty great with the movie style. Though I think he shouldn’t of been voiced if they are going to likely pick someone else to voice him besides his current VA. Also, even though it might be horrifying to imagine, I’m curious as to what he would of looked like in a similar style as the much hated old design for the film.

-HELL YES I WANT A SEQUEL NOW! GIMME!

[duhragonball]

Battle Tendency Liveblog: JJBA Ch.109-113

Hard to believe we’re at the end of this crazy ride.  

Last time, Joseph had defeated Kars, only for Stroheim to order his men to finish Kars off with UV rays.  Stroheim just wanted Kars to hurry up and die faster, and maybe he also wanted credit for the kill, but instead he played right into Kars hands.    After Joseph kicked his ass, Kars put on a Stone Mask he had stowed away somewhere, and he installed the Red Stone of Aja into the Mask.  

I should probably go over that a bit, since it hasn’t been mentioned for a while.   Kars has been perfecting the Stone Mask technology for thousands of years.   It turns humans into vampires, but for his species it unlocks even greater powers.   But Kars hit a wall in his research.   He wanted to design a mask that would make him the ultimate life form, but he lacked the means to power such a mask.   He discovered an answer in the Aja Stone, a mineral that focuses light, but he needed a bigger, more flawless sample of it, and that’s the Stone he’s using right now, the one he captured from Lisa Lisa.  

So instead of killing Kars, Stroheim accidentally made his lifelong ambition come true.   One nice touch I just noticed is that the Mask itself falls apart as soon as it’s finished its task.    I suppose, in theory, someone else could have tried it on and get the same power boost as Kars?  Would it even work on a normal human?  Well, we’ll never find out.   

There’s a couple of ways to interpret this.   One is that Kars’ “Super” Mask was highly experimental, and it must have been untested, since he’d never had Lisa’s stone until now.   So it’s possible that the thing burned itself out after a single use.   The other interpretation is that Kars designed this Mask to self-destruct after the first use, because it was never intended for anyone else but himself.    The whole point of this was to become the Ultimate Life Form, the very pinnacle of all living creatures on Earth.   I think it was implied that Wammu and Esidisi were expecting to share in this power when the time came, but why would Kars have ever allowed for this?   What’s the point of being the greatest and best in the world if you have to share that top spot with two other guys? 

Stroheim realllly wants to believe this is all a big fluke, and that he didn’t just make the bad guy stronger.   The Ripple wound on Kars’ arm is still there, so Stroheim figures he’ll die anyway.    Except Kars doesn’t seem too bothered by his injury.   And then...

Yeah, so Kars not only repairs his injured arm, he reshapes his hand into a squirrel.   Joseph speaks for us all: What the fuck?

For a hot minute, everyone thinks the squirrel he made is kind of cute, until Kars sends it to find another squirrel and kill it.  Then the Kars-squirrel tears a hole through Stroheim and carves a trench in a Nazi soldier from chest to eyeball.   Then it rejoins Kars’ wrist, and turns into a flower, and then a butterfly.   Some Part 5 and 6 pre-references for ya.  

Then the sun comes up.    Wait, the Joseph/Wammu fight happened around midnight, right?    How many hours have these folks been out here?    And it’s February, too, so this had to have been a long night.  Anyway, the sun comes up, so we’re saved, right?   Wrong.  Sunlight doesn’t hurt Kars anymore, thanks to the power he got from his special mask.   So now what are they supposed to do? 

Well, Joseph’s going to use his last resort: running away.    Also, he grabs the Aja Stone, for no apparent reason.    Kars grows a pair of wings to chase him.    He no longer cares about the Hamon users, because they’re no longer a threat to him.   But he wants to kill Joseph personally, both to celebrate his new powers and to avenge the deaths of Wammu and Kars.  

Smokey joins Joseph, which doesn’t make much sense to Joseph, but Smokey wants to tell Joseph about Lisa Lisa being his mother.   Except Joseph’s a little too distracted by the eldritch horror that’s trying to murder him. Read the room, Smokey.

Here’s a helpful diagram of Kars to explain what his deal is now.   Basically, he’s immortal and can regenerate and reshape his whole body, but he had that before, just by being a Pillar Man.   The big upgrade is that he’s no longer weak to sunlight (and by extension, the Ripple), and he can now replicate the traits of any life form on Earth.    He’s faster than cheetahs and has better hearing than bats and so on.   He can go for a full year without eating, and he no longer needs to sleep.    Sex is meaningless to him, because procreation is only important for lower life forms to maintain their species.   Kars has no need for children or bretheren.    “There is but only one summit.”  

Maybe Wammu and Esidisi had understood that truth all along, and they never seriously expected Kars to share this power with them.   They practically worshipped Kars as it was, so maybe they were only doing this for the greater glory of their leader.   

So what does Kars plan to do with all of this power he now has?   The Aja Stone was his only goal before, and that’s done.    He has no enemies to fear, and as Speedwagon observes, there’s no way left to kill him.    This page states that his only purpose now is to create a world to match his own desire, but what is that?   What’s Kars’ vision for the Earth now that he’s reached this point?   

We never really find out, and I suppose that’s why it’s convenient that he decided to start out by killing Joseph.    For all we know, he would have just chilled out and left humanity alone after that, but this way there’s still an immediate threat to deal with.  

Miraculously, Joseph manages to stay ahead of Kars long enough to find the airplane that brought Stroheim here.   You’d think Kars could have caught up to him with all these fancy new powers, but Kars was never in much of a hurry.    He took his time to search for the Aja Stone, and he made it a point to trap Jojo and Lisa rather than risk fighting them fairly.  So even now, when he has such an overwhelming advantage, he seems to be playing things the same way.   He has no weaknesses, so he may as well take his time and stalk Joseph, if only to watch him squirm.

Joseph tries using the plane’s weapons to even the odds, but Kars grows armadillo hide on his wings to protect himself, and he fires the armor at Joseph like shrapnel.   So machinery doesn’t seem to make much of a difference.   

So Joseph just flies south, using the plane’s engines to give himself a comfortable lead.   He’ll run out of fuel in a couple of hours, but Speedwagon calls him on the radio and tells him that they’ll figure out a plan.   Except that Joseph already has his own plan.  There’s a volcanic island off the coast of Italy.  I assume this is Stromboli Island, since Italy has only three active volcanoes, and Mt. Stromboli is the only one on an island.   Anyway, Joseph plans to lure Kars into the volcano, and destroy him with molten lava.    I mean, Kars is still flammable, right?

Speedwagon hates this idea, because he doesn’t see any way for Joseph to pull this off without getting killed in the process, and that sounds way too much like what happened to Joseph’s father and grandfather.  Oh, and his great-grandfather.   I didn’t notice George I up there until just now.   Speedwagon tries to tell Joseph about Lisa being his mom, but Joseph can’t hear him because of all the piranha noises in the plane.    Wait... what?

Yeah, all the feathers that Kars turned into armor and launched into the fuselage?   Well, he’s still controlling those things, and now Kars has turned them into piranhas.   Well, I guess not literal fish, since they’d never survive up here.  The point is that Kars can control every cell in his body and mimic any animal traits he wants, so if he wants to make small bitey creatures to wreck Joseph’s plane, he might as well make them look like piranhas.    ALso he makes an octopus that tears up one of the engines.  

So Joseph bails out, but he’s a sitting duck in that parachute.    Kars calls him a butterfly caught in a web, which is the second time we’ve seen that analogy in Part 2.   Araki just out here telling everyone what Jolyne would be wearing in twelve years. 

But the parachute contains a dummy.    Why did Joseph waste time drawing a face on it?   Because he knew he had to fool Kars’ razor-sharp senses, of course.    Kars probably saw the dummy, and got suspicious, but then he noticed the eyes and mouth, and though “Oh, okay, I guess that’s a real person then.”  

Anyway, this suckers Kars in so that Joseph can crash into him with his plane and they can both go into the volcano together.

But Kars thinks he can tear up the plane before it lands.   Except a robot hand grabs him from behind, and he finds Stroheim stowed away.   Wait, so Stroheim outran Joseph AND Kars and hid in this plane before Joseph took off?   

Anyway, Stroheim manages to get Joseph out of the plane to relative safety, but he crushes his whole lower body in the process.  But it seems to be worth it, because Kars landed smack-dab in the volcano!  Awesome!   Fuck you, Kars, you screwed over Lisa Lisa, and that’s what you get!   He tries to protect himself, but he can’t grow a defense against 1000 degree heat...

... is what I would say, except no, Kars totally does that.   Just when Joseph thinks Kars has succumed to the lava, Kars pops out and slices off Joseph’s left arm with his goofy blade.  

How the fuck did Kars survive?   Well, he couldn’t grow a lava-proof shell, but he could create a porous layer beneath the shell, and use the air inside to insulate the rest of his body from the heat.   That wouldn’t protect him indefinitely, but it was enough to get the drop on Joseph.  

So that’s it then, right?  Not even molten lava can kill Kars, unless you could shove him down in there and keep him still for like ten minutes, and who’s going to pull that off?    Stroheim begins to lose all hope...

Then we get a flashback to Kars’ origin.   Long, long ago, there was a race of subterranean humanoid with long lifespans and an aversion to sunlight.   Prehistoric humans thought of them as gods or demons because of their reclusiveness and power.   Also, they would eat humans and animals, so that probably made them dangerous, too.   

But I don’t think they were nearly as powerful as the Pillar Men we’ve seen in this story.   I say this because the flashback establishes that Kars was the one who discovered the latent power in their brains, and he was the one who invented the Stone Mask technology to harness that latent power.   So it stands to reason that much of what he and the others could do was the result of Stone Mask enhancements.   The problem is that those enhancements increased the amount of blood they needed to consume, and the others in the Clan feared that Kars’ experiments would destroy their whole ecosystem.   So when they tried to stop Kars, he killed them all.   The only survivors were himself, Esidisi, and two young children who grew up to become Wammu and Santana.  

So that story tells you something about what Kars might do with this newfound “ultimate” power.   He didn’t achieve this for the good of his own people, because they’re all dead now, and he wiped most of them out personally.   If he would do that to his own kind, the rest of the Earth would be expendable to him.

Back to the present, Joseph’s not giving up yet.   He tries to use the Ripple one more time, but it doesn’t work.   Worse, Kars counters with his own Ripple.    Because Kars can do that now, you see.    He’s got the powers of all life on Earth, and that includes Ripple users, I suppose.   Worse, Kars’ Hamon power is hundreds of times greater, so he ends up getting badly burned on his right knee.  

So now Joseph’s completely out of tricks, and he starts to accept the inevitable.   Kars decides that the best way to kill Joseph would be to destroy him with his own finisher, Ripple Overdrive.  So he charges up the most powerful Hamon attack he can muster, and just as he’s about to strike...

Joseph impulsively grabs the Red Stone of Aja and uses it to block, kind of like how he stymied Kars back on that cliff in Switerland.   Only this time, Kars doesn’t hold back, and the Hamon attack is amplified.    It bursts through Joseph’s right hand and into the volcano below. 

The narration says that not even Joseph really understood any of this.   He just sort of acted on instinct.   That bothered me once, but now I see that it wasn’t entirely unconscious impulse.   Back in Venice, when Lisa first told Joseph about the Aja Stone, Joseph suggested destroying it to deny Kars his prize. But Lisa said there was a legend that foretold that Kars could never be defeated without the Aja Stone.   And that would at least explain why Joseph picked the thing up back in Switzerland before he fled to Mt. Stromboli.    Maybe it was unconscious action that made him pick up the stone in this fateful moment, but I think it was a more conscious thought that made him take the stone with him in the first place.   On some level, he remembered that legend.  

Okay, so there’s a mega-ultra-Super-Saiyan-5-Ripple that just went into a live volcano.    What good does that do?   Well, it makes the volcano erupt, and it launches Joseph and Kars into the air.    So what?   Kars can fly.    Yeah, he could, but...

You know, Joseph’s lost hand really left an impression on me when I first watched the anime of Part 2, but now that I’ve read the manga, I’ve noticed tons of severed and wounded forearms all through this story, almost as if Araki had been building up to this moment.    I’d make a Part 4 joke, but nah, that’s too easy.   But it wasn’t even that long ago that Wammu lost both of his hands, and then he launched them as Joseph to distract him.    Kars lost his hand before he grew it back and turned it into a squirrel.    Hell, Stroheim launched his robot hand at Kars to distract him for the volcano crash.   And now Joseph’s hand has somehow launched itself into Kars’ throat to distract him again!

I’m assuming that Hamon energy has a lot to do with this.   You’d think Joseph’s hand wouldn’t have survived getting fired up this high, and it shouldn’t be powerful enough or alive enough to bother Kars this much, but it does.   So I’m chalking it up to all that Ripple energy.  It briefly reanimated Joseph’s hand and made it follow Kars up to this altitude, kind of like how Jonathan controlled Wang Chung’s decapitated body at the end of Part 1.

So Joseph taunts Kars about this, and implies that he planned this somehow.    And when Kars pauses to ask if he did plan this, more rocks and stuff from the volcano hit him and send him even higher up into the air.

And Joseph claims that he did plan this entire thing!  That’s bullshit, but he hopes Kars will believe it, if only to make him more frustrated.    Maybe Joseph didn’t plan all this out, but he seems to have deduced what’s happening here.  

Kars has been launched so high into the air, and at such an incredible speed, that he’s achieved escape velocity.    Does Kars even realize what that means?   I mean, he’s super-intelligent, especially now, and he’s been alive for thousands of years, but what could he really know about outer space?    Has he ever even considered it before?  It seems like all of his ambitions involve the Earth, and only the Earth, and everything living upon it.  

As for Joseph, the chunk of rock he’s on does not fly into space.   Instead, it starts to fall back down, and Joseph assumes that he’s probably not going to survive the impact.    Eight hours later, Stroheim makes it back and informs Speedwagon that Joseph must have died in the eruption.   

But Kars isn’t worried at first, because he thinks he has this whole “vacuum of space” thing figured out.  He just takes a page from Wammu’s playbook and makes air jets on his back to expel compressed gas from his body, like the maneuvering thrusts on a spacecraft.  Except that’s not nearly enough to counteract the force of the volcano that sent him up here.  

Yeah, Kars has no idea how space works.  Instinctively, he probably counted on friction to slow him down, except there is no friction in space.   He probably also expected his air jets to push him a little bit at a time, and maybe he could pull in more air as needed, except there is no more air.   Even the air from his body is denied to him, because it just dissipates into the vacuum of space.    Kars talks about the air freezing as it comes out, but I don’t think that’s right.   What’s happening to him is like when you use one of those compressed gas canisters to clean your keyboard.    Release a lot of the gas at once, and the can starts to get cold.   That’s because the liquefied gas left inside the can now has more room, and it begins to boil as it expands.    This draws in heat from the surroundings, which makes the can feel cold to the touch.    That’s what’s happening to Kars here.   All he’s doing it losing all his body heat.   Maybe some of the air really is freezing around him, but I don’t know.   It depends on whether the sunlight is hitting him, I think.

Anyway, the last thing Kars says is “I can’t go back!!!” And that’s what makes this so perfect.   In the anime, we see the Earth recede into the distance as he continues to tumble further and further away. By surviving the lava, Kars had “mastered” the Earth, but now he’s been separated from the Earth.   He’s got all this incredible power, but without the Earth, he’s got no one to use it on.

And then we come to the pièce de résistance of Battle Tendency: The epilogue page that establishes, in no uncertain terms, that Kars never returned to the Earth.   There’s no miracle escape this time, no clever trick or loophole.   He simply doesn’t have the necessary acceleration to push himself back the way he came. 

Did he die?   Nope, because he made himself immortal, remember?   Not even sunlight or starvation can destroy him now.   But now death is the only thing he craves, because he’s completely alone and has nothing to do.   I can’t imagine he’s very comfortable like this either, because it’s incredibly cold in outer space, and Kars must be able to sense that cold, even if it doesn’t actually hurt him.  

And this is such a fitting punishment for a villain like Kars.  Just as Stroheim wanted to become superior and lost his humanity in the process, Kars ruthlessly sacrificed friend and foe alike to achieve this Ultimate form, and what good does it do him?    It’s become his prison, his hell.    At long last, he’s become the supreme being, a world unto himself, but with no one around to lord it over, there’s really no point to any of it.  

I just really love this ending.   I’m not sure how else I can express it.    This is what should have happened to Akio Othori in Revolutionary Girl Utena.    But Araki was brace enough to do it to Kars.  

I suppose I could attempt some exercise in JoJo Part Comparison and connect Kars’ final fate to all the other JoJo villains.    But I dunno, this is getting pretty long in the tooth as it is.   I’ll just say that I’m suddenly reminded of Reimi’s final words to Kira in Part 4, when Kira asks where he’s being taken.   “Who knows?   But I’m sure it’s somewhere you won’t be able to rest in peace.”

So all that’s left is the matter of Joseph’s funeral-- Nah, just kidding, he’s not even dead.   What’s weird is that Smokey says he met Joseph “six months ago”, which seems a lot longer than the events of this story.    Anyway, Joseph returned to New York, only to find everyone at the cemetary.   He wonders who they’re mourning, and he’s shocked to discover it’s him.

So yeah, the rock Joseph was on acted as a “shield”, and he managed to survive the fall, and even ended up near Venice, where Suzie Q found him and tended to his injuries.  Stroheim even set him up with a robotic hand to replace the one Kars lopped off.   I guess Stroheim never sent word of any of this to the U.S., probably because of Nazi Germany gearing up for World War II.  

Anyway, Suzie took care of him for like two weeks, and they got married.   So in a way, Joseph did follow in the legacy of Jonathan.   Not in the “dying young” way, but the “Beat the bad guy and wake up in the care of a gorgeous blonde lady who eventually marries you” kind of way.   You love to see it.   But Suzie forgot to send a telegram to New York to let everyone know Joseph was okay, which is why everyone is so shocked and why Joseph is so shocked about them being shocked.

Then we get the epilogues for all the surviving characters.   I mentioned this when I liveblogged the Part 5 manga a few years ago, but the stark contrast between Battle Tendency and Vento Aureo is that Part 5 is very ambiguous about its ending.   We know who wins and who loses and who survives, but that isn’t really enough.   We don’t know what will happen to Giorno Giovanna after Part 5.   Does he live up to his lofty dream, or does he succumb to corruption like his wicked father?  I think that’s intentional, because Giorno is the “golden wind” in the story.    He’s an agent of change, but we don’t get to see the effects of his efforts, only the cause that he fights for.    But Part 2 operates in the exact opposite way.   We know exactly how and when Speedwagon dies.   I’m a little confused how Stroheim could have died at Stalingrad when Kars and a volcano couldn’t kill him, but maybe the Russians had Stand powers.    I think the only minor mystery is that we don’t know what happened to Lisa Lisa after 1948.    It’s likely that she survived into Part 3, and maybe beyond, but we never see her again.

It’s also kind of weird how upbeat this epilogue is about reporting on the deaths of so many characters.   Like, Stroheim died in one of the worst battles in human history, but he went out on his own terms, so it’s cool?  I guess?   Even the characters without deaths, like Smokey, it’s sort of implicit that he’ll die sooner or later.   But it’s a good thing because it’s final and proper.    It’s something Kars craves now, but can never experience.  A life worth living, made more precious by its limitations.  Kars tried to use cheat codes in nature, and he ended up clipping through the map and making the game unplayable.   But Smokey, he‘ll be mayor someday.

As for Joseph, we see him in an airport in 1987, bullying Japanese people because his daughter married a Japanese guy and moved there.    He’s headed to Japan right now to see her and his grandson, who probably doesn’t even recognize him, it’s been so long.   

On the other hand, he appreciates his Walkman, which is either Joseph giving the Japanese some credit, or maybe he’s just too dense to notice the irony.   

I hate that he’s listening to the Beatles, because the Beatles are overrated trash.  My favorite thing about the Part 2 anime is how they changed his music to “Bloody Stream” by Coda, which a) kicks ass and b) wasn’t a song by the shitty Beatles.  

And that’s Battle Tendency.   Kind of neat how it closes on Joseph’s flight departing to visit his daughter and grandson, in contrast to the final panel of Part 1, which showed Erina floating in a coffin alone in the ocean.   Joseph has bucked the curse and he’s graduated to Part 3, for better or worse.   

But I feel kind of weird leaving it here, because I do love the way the anime wrapped up, so I’ll close out with this:

Tsugi ni omae wa “Grazie!” to iu!