#there may not be much depth to OB but he does make people want to buy a TVA-branded mug which is the important thing

[nostalgia-tblr]

i feel like the possibility of mobius and b-15 BURNING IT DOWN!!!! died completely the moment someone realised that the one obviously marketable thing about the loki series was the tva :|

[astrologista]

Kristoph Gavin Character Analysis I

Part 1 of... fucking infinity, I hate this bitch so much lmao.

Well, it's Halloween time and I just thought, why not. So let's answer this question.

What makes Kristoph Gavin a scary character/villain? A soft spoken gentleman with a deadly secret... the Devil, who lives in his hand, that crazy evil scar thing, his creepy music theme... damn, he’s a scary dude. But scariest of all? His psychology, as we all know. (This is mostly gonna be headcanons. but ya know what, I have a license (hands you a piece of paper that says ‘i can do what i want’))

Kristoph seems like a person who is very aloof, particularly when it comes to personal relationships. At first he kind of just seems like the typical anime glasses guy whose main emotion is like whooa he does the glare thing with his glasses sometimes. But... what is he really about?

You know, let me digress for a moment, what's really interesting to me about the AA characters is how much depth they have in their writing. Case in point, Adrian Andrews. There's a character who you assume is just going to be the typical "anime glasses girl" who is a career woman who don't need no man, and is very aloof, cool, and as she says, not concerned with irrelevant topics or things. Later you learn about the true depths to her personality. The fact that she is codependent, that she needs other people telling her what to do in order to survive. Just because she masks these emotions doesn't mean they don't exist. I felt that really gave a lot of depth to her character and added another dimension that stories in this genre don't often address as boldly or fully (especially when it comes to a female character). So the quality of the writing is always really top notch with only a few exceptions. Take this as context...

Now getting back to Kristoph Gavin. Typical anime glasses dude, right? But no, though. One of the reasons why he's so interesting to me is how his emotional understanding of personal relationships really works. Or seems to, anyway. Based on the endgame testimony and his crimes, Kristoph Gavin is extremely dangerous because, should you get involved with him in any way, he will never, ever let go of you, ever. Once you are entangled with him he wants you to stay entangled, not unlike an overbearing parent who refuses to let you go. It's partly that he thinks he knows what's best for you (that is, to stay completely loyal to him). And also partly... because he is pretty dependent on what other people think of him. So he needs to keep them around him closely.

Kristoph's biggest fear was his lying being exposed for what it was. That Phoenix was really the honest, straightforward attorney, and not him. Kristoph would do anything to perpetuate his own false reality. He kept it going for seven years. His absolute worst fear of all was losing his reputation. Being seen for what he truly was in front of others. He could never accept that. That fear drove all of his murders. Fundamentally, he sees himself as benevolent... when nothing could be further from the truth of how he was hurting everyone who had the misfortune of crossing his path.

Kristoph has a need to perpetuate this false identity of himself above all else. A very adjacent second goal to that is to keep all of his personal associates very close and under his control in order to keep the first goal intact.

Reject him and he will stalk you until you are dead. By his hand, or otherwise. Slight him, and he will get you at the first opportunity, case in point, Zak Gramarye. (He only had to get a quick glance at the guy and his fate was sealed. Turnabout Trump is a chilling case.) Replace him, and he will tear your life and livelihood up into little itty bitty pieces. He will then continue to stalk you aggressively for seven years while pretending he is your best friend. Case in point, Phoenix Wright.

Create false evidence for him and you become a loose end. So does your daughter. Like I said, just don't get involved with him. If he feels threatened, Kristoph Gavin will not hesitate to end you. It's definitely an obsession. I mean the first word that comes to people's minds when it comes to Kristoph usually isn't "obsessed", because he gives off the aura of being calm and uninterested. But he is, he's obsessed. You have to be obsessed to do what he did. This shit consumed his every waking hour, and that's what he won't admit. That he was so sick, he completely lost the plot. Phoenix was already living in his head rent free the day he ordered the forgery. And even though Phoenix wasn't physically present at the Misham trial and was only watching everything by video camera, you can bet Kristoph was seeing Phoenix. Hallucinating him, images of him. Probably multiple images of him. That's how obsessive. Imagine letting something or someone control you to that extent. Imagine thinking that you're so important, that Phoenix taking Zak Gramarye's case at all was meant to be a slight against you personally. (It's funny because Phoenix mentions not even knowing Kristoph at all until after the disbarment. So Kristoph's own logic in thinking that Phoenix was just out to shame him absolutely doesn't track. Ob-sessed, dude.)  

It's actually pretty astonishing that someone like Apollo made it out alive. On a side note, I really think Kristoph enjoyed having someone to mentor. He sought someone like Apollo out. Someone naive and new to the field for him to indoctrinate. And maybe I have a post about that later, cuz that's a whole 'nother barrel of monkeys right there. (It kind of involves Apollo’s naivete (also, daddy issues, hello.) being a huge reason why he would gravitate towards having a mentor known for having a “caring” personality. And I think Apollo genuinely liked that about him, which makes the end result so much more awful for Apollo to deal with because to him, that was real.)

But now think of Klavier, right. Being forced to grow up with that. To live with that your entire life. To have a familial relationship that is that smothering, that suffocating, that strangling. That controlling, to criticize every single thing that you do or say right down to the way you say it. And remember... He's never letting you go. I would go on a world tour as a rock star, too. Anything to be anywhere he isn't. This is horror movie tier stuff. (now im imagining a horror movie trailer for aa4 focusing on gavins stuff... eep!)

And Kristoph Gavin markets himself as someone who simply doesn't care. He's the coolest defense in the west and he doesn't care for what you may think about it. Except... he does care. It totally consumes him. Your perception, your opinion, is everything to him. He has shitty self esteem, deep down, because he knows Phoenix is better than him. And tries to mask it with narcissism as the two duke it out. Appearances are everything, evidence is everything. What people think is true is the only thing that matters, truth doesn't. And it makes sense that his closest contacts and associates are the targets for his constant narcissistic abuse and gaslighting. Their opinions matter even more than the common crowd - of course, Kristoph hates them. Which makes it even worse for him when the jury decides unanimously that Vera is innocent (and by implication, he is therefore guilty). The jury verdict was kind of like the ultimate confirmation that guess what, the evidence doesn't matter. The common and boorish masses have passed judgement, no matter how "mindless, emotional and irrational" they are, even they can see behind his crappy little facade. Even a blind woman like Lamiroir can see that insecurity; even a common person can understand it just by looking at the facts. That's what absolutely wrecks him... that his “poker face” couldn’t hold a candle to Phoenix’s. And he loses the “hand” again (because of his “hand”... get it??).

The identity that he needs to maintain is part of how he sees himself in his mind. As Phoenix's protector, not as his stalker. As Klavier's benevolent big brother, not as his abuser. As Apollo's teacher and mentor, not as someone guiding him into ruin. He lives in a false reality.

Try to bring this up in any way, shape, or form and he will write it off. You're just imagining things...

Because at some level, Mr. Black Psyche Locks himself doesn't even realize. (I feel like that might just be basically canonical fact, based on Pearl’s explanation of how black psyche locks are supposed to work.) That’s pretty freaking terrifying.

At the end of the day this is a big part of the reason I think his character is just so interesting. In a very messed up way, Kristoph is one degree away from being such a good person. He could've been obsessively protective of Klavier - the way a big brother is supposed to be - instead of abusive, could've actually been very caring of Phoenix instead of manipulative. Terrible people can have good traits, just as good people can have awful traits. His attention to detail and understanding of psychology (like getting Vera those gifts she would like so much) could've been used for genuine good. He could've been someone who cares deeply about other people because he does care deeply about other people. But only in terms of their relation to himself, what do they think of him, how are they useful to him.

Maybe this is why I kind of like his character. Intelligent, semi-neurotic protective characters are just my ish. But, no, he has to have a narcissistic bent that skews everything into complete abuse. That’s what makes him awful... that he’s devoid of a moral compass or true compassion for other human beings.

So in closing, fuck off, Kristoph Gavin.

Postscript, he's also such a good foil for Phoenix for this reason. Kristoph does everything for himself. Phoenix does everything for Trucy, because he's a dad and he understands the weight of what it means to really care for someone. Kristoph couldn’t understand motives like that. And Phoenix can't help it if he's an order of magnitude smarter and more mature than Kristoph is. He was just born like that. Classy as fuck. You know what, Kristoph Gavin is like the dollar store version of Phoenix Wright as an attorney. Has many of the same functions but actually doesn't have a leg to stand on and will fail you when you need it. And is revealed to just be a cheap knockoff of the real thing.

[erizawayumako888]

It's been a while, how many years have passed? 5? 10? maybe even more? we both lay side by side on top of the hill, green fields and village by the mountain. The place we call home, or for me, used to be one.

We may not have been the closest of friends, but your company is quite enjoyable. Especially back then, when I was a child, young and free, naive and innocent. I would run around the village, play with other kids, other times hanging out with older friends like you. I've been looking up to you, we don't talk much, but you're an admirable figure, as a kid I thought about how cool you are, I talked a lot about you although I didn't have the guts to really tell you how I feel.

Kids would cringe at the idea of the idea of a girl and boy kissing or holding hands, including me. I kept on denying how I feel, I was so young I felt that it was disgusting although it felt good. As I grow up we grew further apart, just like every other kids growing out of their interests or old friends. I forgotten that you even existed for years.

All those years as I grew up, a lot of terrible things happened. I looked at you, assuming that you are smiling back at me underneath that mask. You were quite pleased to see an old friend, a little girl you used to spend time with, gone for quite a while and returned a grown up woman. You sat comfortably beside me, thinking that I'm still the same old bright young woman. How unfortunate, my friend. You couldn't have been more wrong...

I didn't grow up to be the lady society expects me to be, I run, jump and play like boys, I prefer dinosaurs and superheroes over dressing up and dolls. Other kids think I am weird, I got bullied and rejected. I learnes how to just keep things by myself, since I am a bother for others. But it didn't stop there, now that I am being quiet, the grown ups hated me just for speaking too little. I still listen to and reply to them, I just don't talk much to other kids or when not needed.

They tried to shackle and chain my freedom, telling me that just because I am a girl I am not allowed to do this or that. I am forced to wear complicated clothings, constantly how a woman's only goal in life is to bow down to her husband. I am sick of being tossed and controlled around up to 14 years of my life, only to be told that it is the right thing to carry on beibg tossed and controlled around by a man until the day I die.

This place I grew up in, what I once see as a peaceful village... I hate everyone in there. All of them, judgemental hypocrites, feeling that they're always right when they condemn people for being themselves. I'm sick of it, I can't take it any longer. My guardian angel held me tight, telling me that everythings going to be okay.

Hell no, I am no longer enduring that while faking a smile. I ran away from her, from the village, into the forest depth. And that's when I came face to face with the devil herself. And attractive woman with red, glistening hair. Her sharp glare accompanied with curled horbs decorating her head, standing proud with her bat-like wings stretched over and her devilish tail swaying around. She stood proud, loud and clear she declared ,"My child, I can help you avenge those who have wronged you!".

My guardian angel grabbed my arm whimpering ,"Don't listen to her" I looked back at her feeling bad... But you are my guardian angel, yet you don't protect me from the hell I have been through. But still, you are my friend, but what kind of friend sees you suffering and does nothing about it, only telling me to be patient and take it all?

I closed my eyes, under my eyelids it's pitch black as expected. However everything soon turns to be red, bright red, visions of flames of hell is getting clearer. But I felt very excited, not realizing I grinned wider as the estacy grew. I opened my eyes feeling euphoric, for the first time in a while my laugh echoes out of excitement. I can't tell where and what I am looking, I only know that I can't stop laughing, my arms have to keep moving slashing through the air, I feltike I'm hit something, at a glance I might have seen a terrified face but the adrenaline rush makes me ignorant of it. My vision grows blurry and redder, as the screams from hell grew louder and pierces my ears.

Finally I'm exhausted. My head feels very heavy, as if heavy weights are being attach to its left and right, I fell forward to the ground. That is when I realized I literaly have weights on my head... that demon lady's horns, they are on my head now. I could feel some wind, some moving attached to my back, those are her wings... and my hands, red.

I saw my guardian angel there, her once white gown is now stained in red. She is no longer movinh or breathing. I cried when I realized what happened. Slowly I carried her lifeless body on top of a hill far away from the village, under a huge, old tree surrounded by the flower beds we used to play at. It was where we would laugh and make flower crowns, where we would frolic and run with the animals. But now, this is her final resting place.

I kept replaying those memories as I walked with my old friend. He didn't say a word and follwed behind me, until I stopped in front of the nameless tombstone. I picked up a few flowers and poured them on top of it, before I fall on my knees. Had hadn't a clue of what happened that day, in attempt of consoling me he held my shoulder ,"Friend of yours?" I didn't say a word.

After my first murder, I finally realizes that I no longer have a guardian angel, instead I have a demon by my side. She promised me that shw would be much more helpful, and she seems to be telling the truth. With my new found power I walked back to the village in the middle of the night, fpr one last time. I flew from home to home, looking for the faces of those who had wronged me to rip them off. A glint of satisfication when they all run and scream in fear before finally, they all drop dead in silence.

By the time the sun goes up, I looked into a mirror, seeing myself as a beat decorated in red. The light shines on the blood covering me, it was an amazing kind of feeling I never had before. I flew away far into the darkest depths of forest, looking for a new place to live.

I travlled the lands into other villages and towns, there are times I do try to make friends and hide my past, I may not be hated anymore but I always fear how if I would. So I keep myself away from others, no one can be trusted, except for myself and the demon inside of me.

It is quite frustrating as a loner when I had feelings for a man, yet I remember how I was treated, by their kind especially. I don't want to let my feelings of attachment to bribg down my ego. I am not the one who will submit, I will be the one to dominate them.

And thus my journey began, I trained to grow stronger. When I see a man I found to my liking I would take them away and trest them like a toy. I will toss and turn them aroubd to my heart's content, although I do love and care for them it is a pleasureable way to avenge those men who wronged me. You say that girls can't be strong? You say that girls have to obey their husbands with a leash around her neck? Then this time my love, you are the one with the leash around your neck.

Two, three pets were not enough. I always needed more, and I have lost counted after all these years. Perhaps 30 or 40, and it won't stop anytime soon. At times I cry for nights knowijg how much I hurt my loved obes, but the voices of my relatives, telling me to kneel down and be a 'good girl', especoally my grandma...

She was not a nice old lady who makes cookies for you, she would always tell me it is wrong to be myself, she would always say that my nice face and body is jist a great asset to find me a good man. I am sick of it, and even after I've left my family behind their taunting voicr still taunts me. Aslong as the voices goes on, my torturous games will cobtinue. I do hesitate and feel guilty, but at the same time I enjoy it when I watch my boys cry in the dungeon after what I do to them.

I finally fibished plucking the weeds around the graveyard, I stared at the weed I grasp in my hands thinking... Maybe I should stop afterall, I cannot forever keep on hurting people especially those who I cared about. But just as I smiled in relief her voice echoes again ,"My dear, why don't you have a man yet? Relax, and kneel down. Be. A. Good. Girl."

I stood up yelling and tossed the weed aside, I screamed loudly towards the sky as my old friebd backed off. Both of my fists tightens as I stared into the horizon, I clenched my teeth and tears began flowing down my face.

My old friend slowly walked towards me ,"Is everything alright?" He asked. I turned my head slowly, now face to face to the so familiar face. But I noticed a difference, slowly my vision turns red. Not just his masked face, but the sky and grass, everything turns red. I began to smirk and laugh as tears continue to rush like waterfall ,"I'm sorry my love, she is coming back."

I laughed harder than ever as the demon's horns sprout out of my scalp, bat like wings spread on my back blocking the sun and drops a shadow covering my old friend. He stared at me as he drew his sword, I can tell that he hesitates just like I do. But I can't stop now, I need him in my collection, as long as that old witches words burns in my ears I need new toys to take my anger and grudge on.

I laughed harder and harder as I clawed my way through, my claws clashing against his sword under the setting sun. His skill impressive as ever, in a blink of an eye as I tried to hold back my demond I could feel my head lighter, and I notuced both of my horns were severed laying on the ground. Well played, my dear. This gets more interesting.

I growled and shoots lightning from my finger, I am not trying to attack him however I just want to play around for now. He leaps aroubd dodging my attacks, at times deflecting them with his sword which celarly backfires me, I took my own hit but I am not done yet.

Now, a huge orb forms in my palms, I run to him swinging it to his direction. He was ready to slocr the orb but just at the moment my other claw slaps his sword away. Checkmate. You are unarmed now. I growled like a beast as I grabbed him by force, he was fighting back kicking and punchibg but I am not backing down, not especially when I am a demon at least 10 times his size for now.

I grasped him in my claws and flew away from the spot. Finally another collection, another victim for my grudge and hatred, mixed with my love and obsession. I do love you dear, but your kind has to pay what they have done to me. The fun has just started, pet.

[cinna-wanroll]

What would Satine think of Ventress flirting with her man?

Recorded my response to this question, so I’ll put the original script under a cut  (Beware, it's very confusing but does explain more in-depth why I think this situation would happen the way it does, not what actually happens)

Here is my elaboration of the situation explained in that script:

There aren’t many instances I could see where all of them are together, but at the same time, I think it’s even less likely that Anakin or one of the clones would mention Ob-Wan flirting with another woman in front of Satine. (Not only are they good friends, but does anyone really want to be the bearer of that news? To Satine? Lol)

So the best I could come up with was some type of peace convention that Satine managed to drag the Republic and the CIS to. As the host and the moderator, she’s tasked with observing the going ons of the attendants and assuring everything is running smoothly.

So she stands atop a small round balcony, resting her hands upon the smooth golden rails and looking out at the akward gathering with an eagle’s gaze. Nothing slips past her attention, although her mind is... distracted with thoughts of the dashing knight that stands near the bar, and her heart lingers hopefully as she watches the once uncomfortable divide dissolve into comfortable chatter. Well, once everyone’s had a drink or two.

This, of course, means that everyone is now unashamed of their attraction towards Obi-Wan Kenobi, who gathers a rather large crowd with exciting tales of heroism. 

Bail and Breha Organa, senator Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, and Ahsoka Tano we’re the first audience members- followed by an intrigued grandpa Dooku and a few distinguished CIS senators. Ventress pretends to reluctantly follow, although in truth she is quite excited to get an excuse to mingle with Kenobi.

She wears a lethal and sharp-looking cocktail dress, with intricate hosiery that may or may not store daggers. But it shimmers on her slender form, her awkward movements looking fluid and graceful underneath the fabric. She’s not used to this kind of getup, feeling foolish and flashy, but Dooku insisted she present herself eloquently for once. She wears a jewel-encrusted choker and a deadly scowl, her blush being banished to the farthest regions of light-as-possible pink. The back of her dress is black lace in jagged patterns. 

So there she stands among the crowd, wearing her best sneer and slowly moving closer to Obi-Wan subconsciously. 

Unfortunately for her, this behavior is not lost on Satine, who still remains legal as ever, watching the witch becoming more confident with every swig of champagne she takes. 

Obi-Wan has told her of this Dathomirian before, describing her as ‘a graceful and powerful assassin.’ Tales had reached her ears of an ongoing banter between her Jedi and the lethal woman, which she had been sure to inquire the former about. 

He had only looked down and blushed for a moment, before explaining that the easy flirtation seemed to give him some sort of edge in their duels. But when he had looked back up and grabbed her hand, gazing intently into her eyes, Satine’s doubts were washed away and she didn’t bring it up again. She shouldn’t expect someone such as Obi-Wan to be restricted from flirting now, should she? He was a natural flirt, and a damn good one at that. After all, he’d somehow stolen Satine’s well-guarded heart. 

That didn’t mean she had to be happy about it though. 

So she watches with narrowed eyes as Ventress starts laughing maybe a little too much at something Obi-Wan said, and rests a hand on his shoulder. 

Oh, she definitely isn't happy about that. 

But Obi-Wan only moves slightly, taking a well-measured step away from the other woman, and returns gracefully to the story he was telling before. 

She doesn’t miss how he glances up at her and smiles almost imperceptibly. 

Ever the gentleman. Reassuring her that he wasn’t ever going to be anyone else's but hers. And she appreciates it, but if Ventress’ continued advances were making him uncomfortable as they were beginning to appear to, she isn’t going to let that slide. She isn’t going to let him sacrifice his comfort for politeness or manners, especially when it involves another woman.

But she also isn't going to humiliate either of them, so she tries to catch the witch’s eyes from across the ballroom. This time Ventress places her finger on Kenobi’s chest, trying to mouth off about something or other. 

The former nightsister glances up for a brief moment, to catch an imperiously glowering duchess very pointedly looking at Ventress’ finger. 

The meaning isn't lost upon her, but she’s pretty far from sober- just drunk enough to not care about what her master might think about her blatant coquetry. Not to mention, Ventress is both possessive and aggressive, even when she isn’t intoxicated, so she doesn’t budge. 

Satine just internally sighs and withdraws from her spot, one hand tracing the railing of the curved staircase. 

Much like Ventress, Satine is also stunning in an elegant gown that looks like melted gold, her hands covered by silken white gloves. Her hair, which has grown out to her shoulders, is wavy and flowing, her blazing blue eyes catching every light in the room. She practically shines. She’s radiant and majestic, demanding the attention of everyone in the room. And she definitely doesn’t mind, especially as she catches Obi-Wan watching every move she makes.

She might even sway her hips just a bit more than is completely necessary. 

Obi-Wan’s breath catches in his throat as he watches her, entranced as her eyes linger on his. 

He tries to hide red that creeps up to his cheeks, lowering his face and pretending to cough. 

Satine approaches their group and all respectfully bow. She smiles softly and greets Padme and Ahsoka before coming up behind Obi-Wan, resting one hand on his shoulder as she stares down Ventress. 

“Hello, Master Kenobi,” she says, her tone almost patronizing. It has just enough edge to it that Ventress gets the message, but just enough kindness that she doesn’t necessarily have to worry about the tabloids talking about it the next day, or have it become a topic for gossip among the senators. 

Obi-Wan swallows and nods to her, pretending he can’t feel her breath on his neck. 

“Duchess.”

Ventress pulls away quickly, taking a slightly wobbly step back. 

Dooku tries his best not to smirk. He knows exactly what this is. It’s a dominance display, and this pacifist has just made his own apprentice back down. But that, of course, is Kenobi’s woman- a woman with a fire in her heart and eyes, and an undying, kind passion. Sassy, witty, strong. He pushes away a sense of pride and instead pulls Ventress back a few steps. 

He doesn’t want her fighting a losing battle, what with the way Kenobi is currently looking at the duchess. 

The count even catches a smug grin on Skywalker’s face as he leans over and whispers something to that pesky little apprentice of his that makes her bat him on the head. 

He tries not to think about how she would be his great great great grandpadawan. 

At some point, the group disbands and Obi-Wan and Satine retreat to one of the secluded garden gazebos and dance to the distant music. 

Satine doesn’t ask, but Obi-Wan eventually says, “You know I would never- right?”

She just smiles against his cheek, nodding, “I know, I just don’t want someone else touching you.”

He chuckles, “in my defense, she wasn’t- erm, kindly touching. At least, not when you walked up.”

                                            *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maybe one day I’ll make this a full fic, but for now enjoy this summary fic thing. Sorry this took so long to answer :/ I hope you like it though! I loved imagining Ventress’ dress, although I probably didn’t describe it as well as I could have. I'm up pretty late writing this. 

Below I talk about some of the books and comics and my opinion on Obiress, it’s just a little jumbled because I’m much less precise with my language skills when I actually speak (and that’s not very much at all considering the fact that I’m not very precise in my writing either lol). 

Thanks for the ask Oodles!

_____ Because apparently Tumbr can’t make cuts work on asks_______

“I actually was thinking about this the other day, and I had this whole scene in my head.

I uh- I don’t really know why I don’t write this stuff out in fics- probably just because I feel like I’ve already done that, I’ve gone through the effort of imagining it in my head so it’s quote-unquote written, so I feel like I shouldn’t have to. I wish I could just project my thoughts into other people's minds, but unfortunately, that’s not possible as a human being.

So anyway what I was thinking was I was sort of imagining them at this big party because I think that’s the only way that Satine and Obi-Wan and Ventress would ever be in the same space.

I’m sure he’s told Satine in the past about Ventress, but the thing is is that I feel like in the comics that I’ve read Ventress is absolutely in love with Obi-Wan because he sort of helps her realize who she is a little bit better, but he’s not romantically interested in her in any of the comics at all to be honest. Although I think she more looks up to him, and that sort of throws me in the comics. Steers me away from you know, any romantic ideas between them. Yeah, I don’t think that they would ever be in a romantic relationship- in fact I am a big Quinlan and Ventress fan, but there is definitely- Obi-Wan absolutely flirts with her in the Clone Wars, there’s no denying that. I mean when you call somebody ‘my dear’ you’re obviously flirting with them. But Obi-Wan specifically stated that it’s for- you know it’s just— it’s like a game almost, to get into her head and whatever. So again I don’t personally think that it’s cannon at all, and I don’t support that ship, but I think Obi probably has told Satine about Ventress and who she is, as well as that, you know, he does flirt with her.

I don’t think Satine would care all that much until she saw Ventress maybe making a move or something or like any sort of advance towards Obi-Wan. I don’t even think that Obi-Wan would flirt with Ventress in a public area in front of a lot of people, and I definitely don’t think that he would flirt with her in front of Satine, and I feel like he would feel as though that would be disrespectful and I honestly don’t think he’s the kind of guy to do something like that if it’s not really needed at the moment.

So let’s say that they’re all at a big peace party for peace discussions and peace negotiations, and Satine happens to be there. I can see her standing at a distance while there’s sort of been like a crowd that forms around Obi-Wan, and Ventress happens to be in that crowd because it’s Obi-Wan.

Bail might be there, as well as Padme and Anakin and Ahsoka. There’s probably a couple other Republic senators, and then— not Dooku because I can’t see her flirting in front of Dooku especially, but I think, you know, some other separatist senators are there and they’re all sort of mingling. And you know they’re just there because, I don’t know, Obi-Wan just attracts people I guess, and they’re all chatting casually and sipping wine.

Satine’s to the side, looking off at the distance. She’s trying to be a moderator for anything, sort of overseeing the ballroom making sure that nothing’s getting out of hand and everyone’s getting along really well.

And then I picture that Ventress is sort of getting a little bit closer to Obi-Wan, taking steps towards him, or maybe the occasional pushing of a shoulder or something, and Satine sort of catches her eye across the ballroom and gives her the look like ‘you betta keep your hands off my man, don’t do it again if I see you do it again I’m gonna come over there.’ And you know Satine would be great at making that face.

But anyway, so then Ventress does it again, and I don’t think Satine would freak out- I just think that Satine wouldn’t want Obi-Wan to feel uncomfortable, and she doesn’t want anybody touching on her man because that’s not cool. Even if Ventress isn’t a threat, because I don’t think Satine would feel threatened at all, but she still doesn’t want anyone interacting with her mans in that way. So I could see her walking up purposefully, with like a confident stride and sort of making lots of eye contact with Ventress and then coming up from behind Obi-Wan and sliding her arms around his shoulder and all getting close and saying something like ‘hey babe’.

I think Obi-Wan would acknowledge Satine when she would walk up and do something like that, he would probably understand what’s going on at that point and I think Satine might try and drive him away from that area.

But I don’t think it would be a big deal honestly because I don’t think that Satine has any reason to feel threatened by Ventress.”

[walviemort]

hidden blessing (1/?)

Summary: Killian thought the only thing he was left with after Milah's death was a broken heart and a thirst for vengeance. It's not until he gets to Storybrooke, after so many years spent in stasis, that he discovers something else: he's carrying her child. How does this new, tiny blessing change his path? (Canon-divergent from 2x12.) 

rated T | AO3 | 2.7k

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, @sherlockianwhovian​!!!! Here it is: that random idea I sent to you a few months ago and we had a crazy conversation about. I’ve been picking at it here and there ever since and today seemed like a good day to start posting. I hope you have a beautiful day, darling, even with all the craziness in the world! (General note: this will mostly follow canon, but may jump around a bit. And will be updated whenever I get to it, lol.)

With the heaviest of hearts, Killian watched as the body of his darling lover—and part of his soul—dropped to the depths of the sea. A significant part of him wanted to join her, but he knew that’d be a disservice to her memory. 

So instead, he led his crew to Neverland to bide their time until he could find a way to destroy his crocodile. Aside from a handful of ventures into the Enchanted Forest and other realms, they spent close to a century in the ageless realm. 

When they finally left Neverland for good, it was only a couple of weeks until he was again put in stasis by the Dark Curse. Once time unfroze, he got anxious as the months ticked by and they couldn’t leave, but Cora assured him—“Time still hasn’t started to move here, not really; we’re just not frozen in place. You’ll still have your pretty face once the curse breaks.”

And when it did, everything seemed to run faster. Was it really only a matter of days from the time the curse broke, to meeting Swan, to their adventure (and her subsequent betrayal) on the beanstalk, to fighting at Lake Nostos, to landing in Storybrooke? No wonder he was nauseous once they’d docked in the sleepy town. 

He figured a night of rest would send that away, but it lingered in the following days, even while enacting Cora’s plan and finally, finally starting to seek his revenge. Though the rounds of abuse suffered at the hands of the Dark One and his librarian lover certainly didn’t help. 

He got the last laugh, though, with his pistol. Watching the Crocodile’s panic at the realization his love didn’t know him filled him with glee—even if he was in pain a minute later after being thrown by the heavy metal coach. 

So it wasn’t much surprise when, hours later as he woke in the infirmary, everything hurt, including his stomach. 

“Good morning, Hook,” a man said a bit later. “I’m the doctor looking after you; name’s Whale. You took quite a hit there.”

The blonde man looked as haggard as he felt; Killian recognized a hangover when he saw one. But he only eyed the man warily and let him continue. 

“Nothing too serious happened, and you’re lucky. Ribs heal, but we’ll have to be careful not to do anything to hurt the baby.”

Killian blinked. Baby? What? He wasn’t expecting. “Beg your pardon, mate?” he asked, voice a bit rough with disuse. “What baby?”

Whale seemed surprised. “Your baby; the one you’re pregnant with right now. You didn’t know?”

Cold fear washed over Killian; he couldn’t be, could he? “Is this some kind of joke?” he bit out angrily. 

“It’s not; we checked your blood before giving you any pain medication. You know you’re capable of carrying children, right?”

“Aye,” he confirmed; all men in his family had a womb, so he knew it was possible. “But I haven’t lain with anyone in at least a century.” Not since his last night with Milah—though, as he recalled vividly, the situation was right for him to conceive. 

The doctor thought about it for a moment, then asked, “If it’s been that long, then how are you still here as a healthy young man?”

“I’ve been in Neverland; time doesn’t move there,” he explained. “As well as a handful of other situations that left me in stasis.”

“Well, that’s it, then,” the doctor said. “If your body wasn’t aging, neither was the fetus. But now that you’re here, that kid is finally getting the chance to grow.” 

The man continued to drone on about the biology behind everything, but the only thing Killian could focus on anymore was the fact that he was pregnant—with Milah’s child. A child she’d never know. Yet another thing the Crocodile had taken from them. 

Anger threatened to wash over him again, but then a quick wave of nausea brought him back down and found him instead staring at his midsection. He tried to place his hand on it, but found it was cuffed to the side of the bed. So instead, he put his bare stump over it, a rush of paternal feelings rising within. 

He wasn’t sure how his blood had confirmed it, but once he’d heard the words, something just clicked and he knew it to be true. He was going to be a father. And suddenly, he didn’t want anything else.

“Hook, did you hear any of that?”

Killian blinked and looked back up at the doctor. “Afraid not.”

Whale sighed. “Okay, I’ll say the important parts again: we want to do an exam to make sure everything is okay with your baby, given the number of hits you’ve taken over the last few days. Does that sound alright?”

“I suppose so, yes.” If anything, he was curious about this realm’s medicine and how it worked. But if it enabled him to ensure the well being of his child, then he’d do it without hesitation; he’d likely done enough to risk their health. 

“Alright; I’m headed into surgery, but someone from the OB-GYN will be around later. Rest up until then.”

He didn’t know what those letters meant, but nodded his assent and the doctor left. Which meant he was alone—but not really, apparently. 

He glanced back down at his still-flat stomach. At first, he was filled with shame at not knowing that new life was growing within him; goodness, the things he’d done in the past decades. Hell, the past month. He’d have to curb that immediately, assuming he hadn’t done any damage already.

Gods, he couldn’t live with himself if he had. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. Though he was sure the babe couldn’t hear him, it helped to say it out loud. “If I had known, I would have been so much more careful. But from now on, I promise to do whatever I can to keep you safe. Always.”

His mind grew fuzzy not long after and he drifted off; it was no surprise that he dreamed of holding a small child in his arms. They had bright blue eyes and curly hair that seemed to change color on a whim, from black to red to blonde. They were darling and precious and he couldn’t wait to meet them.

Until something pulled him from his dreams, and he was suddenly aware of another presence in the room. He blinked, winced at the various maladies all over his body, and was finally able to focus; Emma was sitting on the edge of his bed.

Emma; he’d forgotten about her for a bit there. (Understandably.) She looked pissed, which didn’t surprise him, but just as fierce as ever. Something stirred somewhere else—thankfully not his stomach, for once—and the attraction to her that he didn’t fully understand came back. He was torn between wanting to bed her and fight her. (Maybe both?)

She set the tone immediately, though. “Where's Cora?” she asked sternly.

He tried to sit up, preferring to have a confrontation at the same eye level, but first the cuff stopped him, and then his sore ribs did. “Damn, that hurts,” he hissed.

Emma stood and hovered over him. “Told you. You cracked a few ribs. Where's Cora?”

She was all business, but she was no match for his well-honed deflection skills—or flirtatious front. “You look good, I must say, all "Where's Cora?" in a commanding voice. Chills,” he added salaciously. It was fun to get a rise from her.

She just raised her eyebrow, unamused. “You have all sorts of sore places I can make you hurt.” without warning, she lunged forward, aiming for his ribs; instinctively, he brought up his left arm to protect both them and his baby. She didn’t connect, but clearly wasn’t afraid of using physical torture methods; in that instant, he knew—he wasn’t about to tell her, or anyone else, about the baby just yet; not if they could use it against him.

She pulled back and he relaxed, but the ache was renewed. Sighing, he told her, “I've no idea where Cora is. She has her own agenda.” And it was true; he hadn’t seen the witch since she placed the cloaking spell on his ship. “Let's talk about something I am interested in: my hook.” He felt slightly naked without his prosthesis. “May I have it back? Or is there another...attachment you'd prefer,” he tossed back, eyes glancing down his body. If he couldn’t physically defend himself, he could at least annoy her until she left. (Though he wouldn’t complain if she took him up on the offer.)

Emma rolled her eyes, of course. “You're awfully chipper for a guy who just failed to kill his enemy, then got hit by a car.”

“Well, my ribs may be broken, but everything else is still intact, which is more than can be said for all the other bad days I've had,” he said, gesturing with his stump. “Plus I did some quality damage to my foe.” 

“You hurt Belle.”

“I hurt his heart. Belle is just where he keeps it. He killed my love. I know the feeling.” Even further reason to keep his child far away from anyone who could hurt them.

Emma gave him a wry, insincere grin, and bent over him to come closer. “Keep smiling, buddy. He's on his feet, immortal, has magic, and you hurt his girl. If I had to pick dead guy of the year, I'd pick you.” And without another word, she turned and left.

He sighed and gently placed his stump back over his stomach; he hadn’t wanted to do that in front of Emma, lest it give her any ideas—male pregnancy was rare, but not unheard of, and he didn’t know how much she knew of the magical realms yet. But the encounter proved one thing: the number of people he could trust in this town was small, possibly nonexistent. 

And only reinforced that his child wouldn’t truly be safe until Rumplestiltskin was out of the picture completely.

Gods, he’d only known about the babe for a matter of hours and already had recentered his life around him or her. It wasn’t the first time he’d done that, of course, but still—it took him by surprise.

He dozed off again for an unknown period of time until a soft knocking woke him. “Oh, sorry; didn’t know you were asleep,” a timid-looking man said. He had white hair and glasses and was of short stature, looking altogether unthreatening—but the machinery he pushed on a small cart was completely foreign to Killian. “I’m Doc, the obstetrician.”

“The what?” was all Killian could say.

“I’m here to check on the baby.”

“Oh!” Killian exclaimed, and tried again to sit up, only to fail again.

“Here; let me.” The doctor rushed to the side of Killian’s bed and pressed something, making the top half of the bed lift as if by magic. 

“How did you do that?” Killian asked, trying to peer over the rail without causing further injury.

“It’s all mechanical; I can show you later. But first: can you tell me when you think you conceived?”

“Um, about 130 years ago, if my arithmetic is correct.”

The doctor dropped his pen as soon as he’d picked it up. “Beg your pardon?”

Killian explained again his history with Neverland, and Doc was well aware of the magical happenings since then, having been equally cursed. Killian also told him what he knew about his ability to carry children, though it wasn’t much, seeing as his father refused to and his brother never got the chance. “All I know is the woman has to be on top,” he summarized.

“Got it,” Doc answered, though clearly embarrassed a bit. “Well, given that this is as new to me as it is to you, I’m going to have to do some poking around in some...personal places. Is that alright?”

“Don’t have much choice, do I?”

“No, sorry; but I’ll be gentle.”

The doctor was true to his word, carefully examining Killian’s stomach and private areas and proclaiming that everything appeared to look good.

But then he picked up a wand-like device that appeared to be attached to the machine he’d brought with him, and started fiddling with the contraption. “What’s that?” Killian had to ask.

The doctor was blushing; this couldn’t be good. “Well, uh,” he stammered, clearly not sure how to explain it; Killian subconsciously wrapped his arm around his stomach a bit tighter. “It’s a machine that lets us see inside the womb; there are a couple different kinds here, but this one is a little more...invasive.”

The fact that such a device existed was incredible to Killian, but he quickly put two and two together. “Does that...thing...go inside me?”

“I’m afraid it does.”

“Bloody hell. Is it necessary?”

“Given what you’ve gone through, and that we’re not really sure how far along you are, it is.”

Killian sighed dramatically, but he could tell it was important. “Go ahead.”

While he knew worse lay ahead, he sincerely hoped to not have to go through anything so awkward as that examination. “Just look at the screen,” Doc said, trying to keep him calm; but the space on the machine only showed nondescript black and gray blurs at first. The feeling of the device within him was not pleasant, either, but finally, Doc proclaimed “Ah! There it is! Hear that?”

The oddest noise filled the room from the machine; Killian had no description for it. “What is that?”

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat, and look—there it is on the screen.”

It didn’t look like much, but Killian had to admit—there was something vaguely humanoid about the blob-like images on the screen.

“That’s the head, and the spine, and there’s the legs.”

Killian had to tilt his head to make sense of it, but it started to take shape. “Does it not have arms?”

Doc chuckled. “It does; we just can’t see them right now. Based on that image, I’d put you at about 11 weeks along.”

“You can tell from that? And what does that even mean?” He’d never heard of measuring pregnancy like that; he knew it took a certain number of months, but most people just estimated. The fact that they could narrow it down so much was astonishing—and made him realize how little he knew about what was to come.

Thankfully, Doc explained everything as he removed the device and cleaned up, and they were able to estimate a due date; he also recommended coming in regularly for appointments to track the progress of the child’s growth, which Killian wasn’t sure would be necessary, but he agreed in order to placate the doctor. 

The machine made some more weird noises and spat something out, which Doc took and handed to Killian. “Here; you can keep that.” It was the picture from the screen; goodness, this realm was proving to be a technological marvel. He wanted to take it but, again—handcuffs. “Oh, I’ll put it on the table then,” Doc said, and started to, but Killian couldn’t risk anyone seeing it.

“No, don’t—if you know where my coat ended up, can you put it in there? I...I don’t want anyone knowing just yet.”

“I understand,” Doc answered with a small smile. “It’s in the closet over here.”

As he put it away, Killian added, “I can trust your discretion, yes?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Thank you.”

Doc finished gathering his things and headed towards the door. “Oh, and Captain—one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Congratulations.”

Killian tried, but couldn’t hide his smile. “Thank you.”

He was going to be a father—a father to a child that was, by some miracle, the product of he and the woman he’d loved above all else. He didn’t consider himself a lucky man, but thanked the gods that they’d seen fit to bless him just this once. 

And he fell asleep once more, knowing that—for the first time in so many years—he had something worth living for other than his revenge.

----------------------------------------------------------------

thanks for reading! and be sure to send some birthday love to Leanne! tagging a few others: @cocohook38​ @ashley-knightingale​ @jennjenn615​ @wyntereyez​​ @superadam54​

[underwaterwoods]

so i saw the star war

spoilers ahoy

i guess this is just gonna be random bullet points

* i actually feel pretty chill about it. yay for being spoiled. also like.... if you ignore the ridiculous stuff there’s actually a lot to have fun with in this one. i don’t know how i’ll feel about it once i’ve processed it more. i just know i had fun while watching it, which i know isn’t true for everybody. i totally understand the negativity - it all makes sense to me. i’m just glad i sort of.... FORCED myself to have enough distance to just go in like ‘i’M PrepArED fOr wHAtEveR’

*i did like all the jumping around between locations in the first half and how ben would show up everywhere rey was. what a ‘you’re everywhere i go’ pairing. /chef’s kiss/. also having the different locations gives a sense of spaciousness (even if it’s all happening over a short period of time) which i missed in tlj.

*one of the things that gave me the most joy as the hux thing ??? X’’’D it was EXACTLY like that ‘the farce awakens’ ep where hux LITERALLY JOINS THE RESISTANCE cuz he can’t stand kylo. like what kind of fanfic...... how do the hux fans out there feel? (i really love the hux fans they’re a great bunch XD). shame that he was gone right after though.

* i actually enjoyed the trio dynamic? like i get the desire to move away from ‘trio mentality’ but the rey/poe tension with finn as mediator was fun. and finn and poe as joint generals? adorable. shame that the whole finn/poe thing got a bit clouded by.... stormpilot baiting and rose erasure and all the things... Also i’m not anti any character - i like zorii - but.... let poe stay a gay icon? i guess he can still be a queer icon it’s all good i’m down for whatever.

*speaking of finn.... loved seeing more of his humour back. didn’t love that there was no unpacking of how he feels taking out stormtroopers. but loved the found family of jannah and the other ex-stormtroopers. i feel like that gave SOME resolution/depth to finn’s origins. and finn being a non force user but seemingly super attuned to the force and its ways? i can roll with that.

*more speaking of finn... i wonder what they were doing with the ‘thing he wants to tell rey that he never gets to tell rey’. seems like an obvious ‘i love you’ thing. but at the same time we got reylo (/basks in that for a second/). it feels to me like throwing a bone to the finnrey people? like they didn’t get it in this movie but it could be a thing in the future? regaurdless, i did like how finn and rey were very connected and back to that loving friendship they had in tfa. we never quite got the ‘you have a force bond with the supreme leader?!!’ conversation but we got.... SOME conversation.

* speaking of the supreme leader... kinda love that we got renperor AND ben solo TM. i prefer to view ben more holistically (he is both ‘ben’ and ‘kylo’) but i get that making them two distinct identities was a helpful shortcut of sorts. he could ‘kill’ kylo and switch to being ben in a single scene. i always prefer Soft Boi Ben but if we were gonna get Bad Boy Kylo i’m glad they established it right out the gate. it was like ok, this is what to expect; this is where we’re at with this character. 

*ben with his costume change at the end....... omg. gave me BIG smuggler!Ben vibes. urgh, give me all the AUs. ben deserves more.

*the amount of swagger when he was fighting the KOR

*idk i feel like i’m not even touching on the big stuff. this was just a ‘get all my side thoughts out of my system’ post.

*adam’s smile after the kiss though......... ...  /the most beautiful thing in this world/

*truly iconic that people were right about the strategic, covert introduction of force healing via baby yoda like one month before tros.

*oh yeah it was wILD that so much of the imagery from the trailers/tv spots etc was in like the first five mintues of the movie ??? i totally assumed the ‘i have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head’ moment would be climactic rather than right up front

*oh yeah the vader mask.... that didn’t really mean anything in the end then did it?

* re: ben’s death. maybe it’s because i was braced for it but in some ways it’s the best way he could have gone. he was definitely happy and reunited with the light - both through love of rey and of his family. hIGHKey could have done with ben’s force ghost also appearing at the end? the only good thing about not seeing it is.... LF deciding to retcon his death ? ??XD obs they’re not gonna but if you want a crackpot silver lining there it is.

*what exactly does rey’s future look like, may i ask?

* oh yeah, Passing The Saber Through The Force. maybe my favourite moment. the force bond as a bare concept is so romantic to me i would watch a whole trilogy just exploring the magic system of that - it’s limitations and possibilities. 

* i do like that jj developed the visual style of the bond. we got to see them occupying the same space, the way each of them would be seeing the other (’can you see my surroundings, i can’t see yours, just you’)

*i miss that rian johnson sound editing on the bond though..... god, the iNTIMACY of the tlj bond scenes....

*’i DID want to take your hand’

*also just the word choice of ‘take your hand’/ ‘i offered you my hand’. it’s extremely marriage.

*there was also a moment in the hanger when ben was like ‘we’re one’ basically? he was saying it in the context of rey’s lineage but still...............the validation. one soul. 

*palps was like ‘you live and die together’ which made me REALLY think of skytalkers podcast. obviously assumed they would both have to LIVE together but.... /deep sigh/

*blah this could go on forever i’ll add more later

edit #1:

* OH YEAH! reverse anidala was such a thing! why did it have to be SO reverse anidala though? X’D instead of taking her life, he gives her his own. (i know it’s not clear anakin totally killed padme etc etc but ya feel me)

* ok i hate that ben died obvs obvs but, taking that for what it is, it was very romeo and juliet. i kinda love just the imagery of it. like... the physical blocking/choreography of adam getting daisy into his arms, holding her, then he falls and it’s her holding him. the way she catches his neck. really reminded me of the smoothness of the bridal carry. and rey’s flexed foot in that moment of shock. love the body language. back to that kind of ‘’staccato’’ rey of tfa days.

edit #2:

*lololol @ LF trying to establish how ‘bad’ kylo is by having him kill a bunch of people in the beginning. it was just.... Hot.

edit #3:

* rose deserves better. obviously. she looked so good though. i like that she had some moments with connix too. 

* ben called han ‘dad’......

*ben standing there, overlooking the waves, with his leG EXTENDED BEFORE HIM. wanderer above a sea of fog. wanderer above a sea of foggg.

* rey having compassion for the snake thing. we been knew. kinda nice to have it in there. obviously good set up for ~later force healing shenanigans~

* OH YEAH OH YEAH. i kept thinking about atla. i know people have been making comparisons to it from the start and i’ve been DEEPLY INTO those comparisons. but it was truly a blessing for me to remember.... there is a version of this out there that you love and that is Good Content TM. legit i can just go watch atla again to heal from this. omg yeah cuz REY HEALING HIS WOUND ALSO HEALED HIS SCAR. very crystal cave.......... nah but nah but - the ‘you are every jedi’ was EXTREMELY avatar-esk..... like, engage avatar state. i don’t like how it ended up being the same old conflict between jedi and sith - ‘good’ and ‘bad’ - OBVIOUSLY THE POINT IS TO INTEGRATE THE CONFLICTING PARTS OF SELF; THE SHADOW SIDE; TO TRANSCEND OLD DICHOTOMIES - but i did love hearing all the voices from past jedi. that’s some good ‘the ancestors are with you’ shit.

edit #4:

* i think the first thing we hear rey say is ‘be with me’? ngl i was like ‘pls be invoking the force bond’ X’D i am a clown. that was a beautiful shot though. and love that a version of the bond kicked in like two seconds after that. 

edit #5:

*there’s that bit where reylo are fighting on the death star ruins and he’s winning and rey kinda falls to her knees panting and lowkey defeated and, not to be a shallow bitch but..... it was Hot.

*also dark rey......... was HOT. SHE WAS SO KIRA, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS, AND I WAS INTO IT LIKE HNGGGG

*obvs i wanted rey to be truly no one. but casting jodie comer as rey’s mum ? ????? urgh, pefection, i love it.

*palps was so random i stg..... his plan was.... convoluted to say the least. 

*also who was under all those hoods?

*the KOR just kinda... being around again was hilarious. no explaination required. the boys are back in town. ben facing them without a mask and essentially wearing his pjs? loved it. 

edit #6:

*seriously though ben’s redemption outfit.............. /heart eyes emoji into the sunset/.......... you can see his collar bone.............. /cares about the important things/.................

edit #7:

*one thing i loved about the reylo was how Space Wizards TM they both were in this movie. it so highlights their connection by making it clear that they are each other’s only peer. i thought it would be a thing of ‘why is the supreme leader constantly interacting with/going after this girl?’ but it’s not because it’s so clear that they are the only two people on each others’ level. no one would dare question the fact that they’re constantly circling each other in a lustful murderous rage.

[ladyrudiluna-blog]

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In precisely the exact same vein, take care when contemplating"before and after" pictures. Most physicians will showcase those images on their site or may send illustrations in an individual's request. Golas cautions that not many surgeons exhibit their job honestly. "When looking in'before and after' images, guarantee that the makeup, in addition to the light and colors, are exactly the exact same in the two images," she states. "Manipulating those aspects to enhance the overall look of'later' images is a straightforward widely used trick"

Additionally, it is wise to be on the lookout for physicians who seem to rely heavily on advertisements. If their webpage continues to pop up everything out of the FB feed into the regional billboard, it might be a red flag as opposed to a great sign. "Recall that the principal job of a fantastic doctor ought to be to take care of her or his patients, to not collect the best number of clicks or followers from self-promotion," states Grant.

4. Verify the credentials of all your applicants.

Located a few alternatives? Great. Before arriving face-to-face together, be sure that they check off each one the vital boxes which tell you they are fully qualified to execute your preferred procedure. "physicians call themselves'cosmetic surgeon,'''cosmetic surgeon,'' or'cosmetic medicine expert,' all of that aren't plastic surgeons,'" explains David Shafer, M.D., plastic and cosmetic surgeon and creator of Shafer Plastic Surgery at nyc.

"It changes by therapy, but many noninvasive processes can be carried out by non-MDs like physician assistants, nurse practitioners, registered nurses, as well as aestheticians beneath the'oversight' of a physician," clarifies Golas. Exactly how much oversight these suppliers really get fluctuates broadly. "Remember that'non-invasive' does not mean 100% secure. These processes may have negative effects and it's ideal to be under the attention of an experienced doctor who will recognize and handle problems should they happen."

You will want to make certain your selected candidates are trained in your region of concern. "Some physicians from different specialties also do cosmetic surgery procedures or remedies, but don't have standardized or in depth training in these regions," says Shafer. Examples of this include a ob/gyn who plays liposuction or family doctor who's injecting Botox. If your particular operation is market, and something just a couple of physicians in your area of this nation work, Julius Couple, M.D., then a plastic surgeon, then commissioner of cosmetic medication for the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery and creator of The Few Institute, recommends contemplating someone who had been included in the creation or improvement of the procedure.

"The ABPS's membership requirements are rigorous and include instruction and board certification requirements, therefore all members have been assessed to execute both cosmetic and reconstructive surgery," states Golas.

Look closely at the facts; the ABPS is not the sole board on the market, but it is the one that you must anticipate. "There are several distinct sorts of surgeons and also non-surgeons now that are performing cosmetic processes, and lots of distinct boards which'reevaluate' practice, so the general public is frequently confused and misled," clarifies Theda Kontis, M.D., facial plastic and cosmetic surgeon at Baltimore, Maryland.

5. Ask whether a plastic surgeon is connected to a hospital.

Whether the physicians you are contemplating have hospital privileges would be just another eligibility box you will want to check out.

This is an important element for Ryan as it came to creating her choice. "Though I knew the surgical process I desired was, in actuality, safe and routine, I wished to undergo operation feeling comfy if something were to happen clinically, then my physician needed access to a hospital center which could tackle any probable complications," she states.

6. Come to every appointment ready and prepared to ask questions.

"By the close of the procedure, you wish to be certain your physician are on precisely the exact same page and have conveyed your needs and wants."

This really is a great opportunity to find photographs of the physician's past job, and discover out whether they are experienced in the process that you would like done. Additionally, it provides you the chance to communicate your own dreams and intentions and get a sense for if they know and can provide the results that you desire.

Additionally, it is a fantastic time to explain prices. "Surgeries may possess a physician's charge, an anesthesiologist charge, along with a living room or facility charge," clarifies Shafer. "Be certain each of the charges are discussed before operation so there are not any surprises."

On occasion you're able to get funding or process incentives. "For example, the Botox firm Allergan, supplies a free treatment of Botox with almost any breast augmentation with their implants," says Shafer. Most remedies have a set cost but in addition have bundle prices for at least 1 treatment. But keep in mind that plastic surgery isn't something that you can buy for cheap. Fair, but not affordable, pricing is just another indicator of a fantastic plastic surgeon.

7. Remember you desire a surgeon who's polite and useful in addition to proficient with this knife.

A clear, but significant, one can be a physician's bedside manner. "When a surgeon appears to be routinely hurried, pressures one to experience a specific surgery, balks in the seeking additional remarks or delegates the majority of the care following the process to other people, recall," cautions Grant.

Cross agrees, noting her physician's bedside manner was a large reason she picked him to get her own breast reduction. "If the physician came to the office, he instantly commiserated together and my personal circumstance. He asked me lots of inquiries and explained exactly what was entailed, healing time, potential dangers, etc.. He showed me that a part of his job, gave me a package of information, also explained I needed to consider what the operation involved to get a few months before I could come back in to your official appointment and chat about scheduling the operation."

The other red flag is that a physician not talking realistic results, including the two the pros and cons of this process. "There is not any such thing for a process without advantages and possible negatives," states Few. "When the surgeon feels like a used automobile salesman than a physician, that is a significant warning and generally something which provides an instinctive reaction to go everywhere."

Maury was relieved when her physician gave her honest outlook because of her surgical results. "He promised me that saline implants wouldn't seem like balls in my torso, however, he did inform me of their advantages and disadvantages of both silicone and saline," she explained. "However he left the choice up to me"

8. Be certain the workplace is immaculate and the staff is more friendly.

You would like to feel more comfortable where you will be needing the process. When it is a little center or even a giant hospital, then you should not feel stressed or stressed as a consequence of the odor, appearance of this area, or even the character of their team.

Most importantly, it ought to be clean. "If you're going to a person's living space, cellar, or seat at a nail salon you then probably aren't being viewed by a qualified and certified plastic surgeon," Shafer warns. Considering that the medical center has been onsite in Ryan's physician's office, the most essential element for her operation was that the working room. In the long run, I'd say it had been equally as critical as picking the surgeon ."

9. Listen to your stomach and go at your own pace.

Should you're feeling uneasy, even in the event that you can not appear to pinpoint precisely why, do not follow along with this office, this physician or, possibly, that process.

The connection you've got with your plastic surgeon will be a personal and private one. It requires the ideal sort of link and fuse of characters to produce the ideal match. Because of this, patients and experts agree that carrying your own time is essential. "That is a man or woman who you'll be discussing your concerns together --a few you might not even talk to your partner or spouse," says Couple.

After Cross made a decision to proceed with her process, it took about three weeks to obtain the appropriate physician. "I'd narrowed my list down to three candidatesbut because they were highly advocated it was tricky to find an appointment"

It required Ryan just four weeks to locate her plastic surgeon, but she says she still understands that rapid timeframe is not average. "I knew that I needed to have the process when you can, but I assured myself if I did not find the ideal surgeon straight away, I'd keep on searching," she states. "It ended up carrying less time than I ever believed." She joined with a physician who whined and admired her particular aesthetic targets and may answer her medical queries completely and wholeheartedly, which entirely assured she was moving ahead. "I enjoyed my physician carrying the excess time to answer my own inquiries and the hands on approach of reacting to my correspondence involving my appointment, process, and postoperatively," she states. "That is a connection after all, so that I needed it to function as easy as you can without sacrificing that individual touch"

SCHEDULE A CONSULTATION

Interested in know about your options?  Whether you are thinking about having cosmetic surgery, a non-surgical procedure or have had prior surgery and are seeking additional touch-ups, it is critical to work with a skilled plastic surgeon that specializes in facial procedures. Dr. Robert Sheffield is a board-certified facial plastic surgeon at SB Aesthetics offering services to those in Santa Barbara, Santa Maria, San Luis Obispo, Oxnard and Ventura, CA, and the surrounding communities.  Dr. Sheffield offers patients a customized treatment plan and is available to answer your questions. To schedule a consultation, call 805.318.3280 today.

SB Aesthetics

https://sbaesthetics.com 2320 BATH ST #203 SANTA BARBARA, CA 93105 P: (805) 318-3280 E: info@sbaesthetics.com

[cottonwren]

A Well Dressed Woman | T.S. | 2

Summary: Jamie and Tommy meet again, and everyone’s worried.

A/N: Thank you for the likes and reblogs! <3 comments mean everything, please if you enjoy it let me know! Comment! <3

Part one:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second time that Jamie and Tommy met, it was in his office, and she had walked herself through the betting shop, managing to sit down in one of the chairs before he arrived. If Tommy wanted a war, he’d get one. She was wearing another one of her suits, the dress pants he enjoyed so much tightened slightly. Jamie heard the door open behind her and stayed exactly still, smirking as she heard him cough. Did he ever think that maybe smoking wasn’t a good idea? Jamie almost never smoked, and she had never touched anything else, though she sold it in enormous quantities.

“Is there any reason you’ve broken into my office, Ms. Pine?” Tommy asked, putting a voice on that sounded slightly strict, dominating maybe? Well, two could play at that game. She would be lying if she said it wasn’t extremely hot, though, holy hell. Some things just stuck with you, and that tone of voice was one of them. Something would be joining her in any dreams she’d be having that night.

“I just thought I should clarify some things with you, Thomas, before you fuck up. Your face is too pretty for me to enjoy harming you” Jamie told him, leaning one hand on her palm, making direct eye contact “But if you do fuck me over, Thomas, I won’t hesitate.” Her words were scathing and violent. She knew that she’d follow up on them, which made her unhappy, but business was business. He was, indeed, very pretty, and it would take a lot to know she left two children fatherless.

“And what, pray tell do you assume I will fuck up?” Tommy asked, crossing his arms on the desk and leaning forward, his face only a few inches away from hers. For a second, he got lost, admiring the icy green colour of her eyes. He could have sworn she was lost with him, but then she got up from her chair, beginning to pace. Tommy wondered if her trousers had always been that tight, because honestly they worse than he remembered. This woman was seducing him, he realised, and she wasn’t even going to pull though and accept his advances. Fuck. Seducing people was his plan A all the way through to plan Z.

“Well, Tommy, I took the liberty of doing a little background check, and you seem to have a reputation of betraying people. Even your closest friends, family even. Sounds like the Shelby family had a good christmas last year” She told him with a smirk, circling his desk “All I want to tell you, Thomas, is that if you try to take more than we agreed on…” Jamie paused, pressing her shotgun to his head, getting a strange thrill of exhilaration as she felt the end connect with his shaved side. “You’ll be lucky to have an open coffin funeral” She whispered in his ear,  withdrawing the gun and continuing her stalking.

Tommy looked at her with a smirk “Someone’s got trust issues. You know fully well that if you shot me, my brothers would kill you, then your pretty little sister, then anyone else you hold close. Suddenly, Pine Pharmaceuticals becomes Shelby territory. Wouldn’t want that to happen, would we, Jamie?” He asked, rolling the ball back into his own court, waiting eagerly for her biting response.

“I’d love to see them try. I’m not scared of jumped up yam yams, lead by a class traitor with an OBE and eighteen oil paintings of himself” Jamie told him simply “But, the question is, Thomas, before I get too caught up in another cute conversation with you, are you going to try your luck for the last time?” She asked, sitting down and glaring him dead in the eye “Because trust me, it will be your last”

“Those are bold words for a girl who’s slipping out of control” Tommy told her “I’ve heard brave talk from many men who think they’re bigger than me, and I will take you down just as I did them. I shall see you soon, Jamie Leanne Pine, maybe you should keep your ideas to yourself before you figure out if you’re right”

“Oh, but I’ve already figured it out, Thomas” She told him with a smirk, standing up “I’ll show myself out, seeing as showing myself around was easy enough.” Jamie decided, an air of aloofness in her voice, though Tommy knew that every word was precisely picked to suit her aim.

“Do you put in an effort to be a nuisance, Ms. Pine? Or does it come naturally to you?” Tommy  asked, getting up and walking her out. If the boys saw him escorting her out, he’d never hear the end of it, but he just needed to get her out before she could really unleash what she assumed may be Jamie’s Box - like Pandora’s, but far far worse. So much worse.

“Just giving back, Mr. Shelby, just giving back” Jamie smiled, walking through the offices with strides, making sure to walk in front of him. If he was going to try and seduce her, he’d have to beat her at it “After all, I do need to ‘get off my high horse’, was it?” She asked, air quotations like staples in the  air.

“Only if I get off my throne, if I remember your words right” Tommy bit back, leading her to the street and standing by the door “I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you soon, Jamie”

“I have a feeling you will, Thomas.” Jamie nodded “Make sure to polish your throne before you go to bed, lest it lose it’s shine in the night.” She told him and then got into her car, driving off towards her offices in Cradley Heath.

As Tommy walked into the building once again, he was met with Lizzie and Polly, hands on their hips like judgy siamese cats. He sighed, rolling his eyes and looking at them “It’s just business, ladies. Just business”

“No, it wasn’t. We’re not stupid, Thomas” Lizzie told him, making Tommy wonder how he actually wanted to fuck her in the first place. “Don’t let her seduce you,” She looked upset, a little more depth to her angry face than usual.

“I’ve got a plan. Alright? She’s not going to seduce me or anything, so you can calm down” Tommy told them shortly, walking past them to get to his office. Jamie had put him in a good mood - finally someone to compete with. It had been a long while since he had someone to bounce off, and it had been even longer since he’d wanted to. For a second he felt like the bright eyed boy he once was, and it confused him to no amount. It made him feel, for a second, that Greta may be back to visit him. She would never be back, though, would she?

“Tommy” Polly called, closing the office door behind her and sitting at the desk “You’re smiling. She’s got you. You need to snap out of this, alright?” She told him “She’s a business partner, and… Tommy. Tommy” Tommy had zoned out, and Polly was losing her temper. “We’re following the plan, alright?”

“We’re following the plan” He nodded, “I’m going to the Garrison. I’ll see everyone in the morning, where you can establish distrust in me for a bit longer” Tommy needed to go out and drink. Then go home and drink. Maybe he wouldn’t sleep. Maybe he would.

“Jamie Leanne, where have you been?” Asked Linn once she heard the front door go to their shared house. Linn knew exactly where she had been, of course, and could pin it down to one person exactly. One capitalist, heartless, gorgeous person. The smirk on her older sister’s face confirmed her thoughts.

“Warning Tommy” She smiled, pulling off her coat and hanging it up “You eaten yet, pumpkin?” Jamie asked, walking through the oak floors and into the kitchen “I’ll cook if you want”

“No, pasta’s cooking, You never stay out late without assigning me a bodyguard” Linn told her with a hum “Please stop doing that by the way. I’m not a kid anymore, Jamie”

“You’ll always be my kid, you know that. Plus, the world is too fucked to even fathom anyone like you - they’ll take kindness and softness for weakness, Linn” She hummed, stepping out of her oxfords “Just trying to protect you”

“Just trust me a little more, yeah? Ever heard of karma? If someone does bad things then the bad thing will happen to them, and vice versa. It just works like that, you see. And all I do are numbers”

“For a drug cartel, princess. For a drug cartel” Jamie reminded her, brewing some tea “I am the reason that karma would bite you wrongfully in the arse. Fuck, it’s cold, want me to light the fire?”

“Yeah. I tried and burnt myself” Linn admitted, showing off the small patch of raised skin on her  hand. “Put it under some cold water though so it’s fine”

Jamie nodded, walking into the lounge “Wear my leather gloves next time, yeah? You won’t get burnt” She offered as she knelt down next to the hearth, placing more coal in the hearth and then lighting a match,placing it into the middle of the fire and sitting back on her heels, making sure that the fire was lit before walking back into the kitchen.

“So, Thomas Shelby, are we still not in love with him?” Linn asked, checking up on the pasta and then turning back to her “Or, as to better word it, have you decided you’re going to attempt to bullshit me that your smirk as you came in didn’t mirror the same one you had when you met Barrett” She asked, straining the pasta.

“Me and Barrett.. Yeah, this is nothing like me and Barrett, at all. Barrett was beautiful, and we were in love, and then she died. Because people die, and it’s my job to make sure you somehow at least go after me, because the idea of dying twice and knowing the which time would be harshest would break me. Like it did” Jamie hummed softly “I just like having someone to fight, pumpkin, that’s all. You know that”

“And then you like having someone to hate fuck” Linn muttered “And then someone to date. And then someone to realise you’re in love with. It was the same with Barret, and all I ask is that you don’t let it cloud your judgement. The reason we work so well is because you’re so cynical”

“We’ll be fine, princess. I know Tommy Shelby is a capitalistic, bad, power hungry man. Just remember that your sister is just as bad and desperate. Not a capitalist though, obviously. And where he’s got two kids, I’ve just got my big kid” Jamie explained.

“You want kids, though, Jamie, and you know that he is single and one of kids is completely motherless. Don’t, Jamie. Do not” Linn warned, plating the meal “Last thing we need”

“Stop worrying,” Jamie tsked, walking over to take her plate to help Linn carry them to the table. “Stop reading my mind, aswell. A girl can have wants, can’t she?”

“She can, which is why I’m going dancing saturday night” Linn hummed, making Jamie almost drop her plate “Alone”

“You get back home at eleven, and you only use taxis that we trust. You don’t get lifts from anyone you don’t recognise.” Jamie told her once she’d managed to pick her jaw up from the tablecloth “You better stay safe”

“I will” Linn sighed “I’m not stupid, you know. I’ll even take my knife”

“Good. I know you’re not stupid, princess, I just don’t want you getting hurt” Jamie told her honestly. “I also know that you’re a young woman, and you need to get out and start living your life”

“How old were you when you started this business, Jamie?”

“Seventeen. Started dealing at fifteen, but enterprised upon it at seventeen. Fed you, so I did it more, and here I am, fifteen years later, and it’s paid off” Jamie explained, starting to eat “This is gorgeous, Linn, wow”

“Thank you.” Linn knew that her sister would understand that she wasn’t thanking her for the compliment.

[perfectionistincrisis]

Life these days!

Hmph :) So i have never..no let me write that in caps! So i have NEEEEVEEERRRRRRR (aha👌) felt this before. Like no, no its not cause i dont have a good vocabulary or something or like im not good with words or something, i mean those are not the reasons. But but i REALLY REALLY find it impossible to describe -IN WORDS- how much I feel for him. Like you know how somethings bugging you..Oh well everything bugs me.. And i DIEEE to tell him..But i cant🙃 So idk I just talk to myself maybe or like atleasr i have words i can use. But like those stuff are wordless. He means so much to mee.. And God!!!!!!! You have no idea how restless you feel when you have to keep such strong feelings suppressed within you! So normally I had some stuff to do. Like arranging my room, my clothes, my shoes, my stuff n all and i thought ill do them towards the end of vacation or in other words after my bro leaves which is like in 10 days but then i already feel like vacations ending. Now i dont mean that in a 'dramatic' way like you know, how your whole life every vaaction when its ending theres this sadness or happiness, well that depends. But like i mean there is some emotion you have towarss it and its like a "thing" like OH noo or oh yaaaayyy *dramatic* vacs almost over!!!!! Bleh -- yeah that ^ isnt there anymore. Cause like now im more of living life one day at a time. Like sure as hell i have plans/ dreams for future but when im 'living' a day at a time and you know that saying about how lifes a 'journey not a destination' - well ive been hearing it SO much since i was a kid. As in its such a mainstream quote that i just took it as something cheap and tacky w/o ever even realizing what it wants to say. I mean ok i do understand ehat it means but only now i can realize the 'depth' of it after experiencing life a bit. I think it means to say that life is ongoing, it will forever be until ofcourse we pass away. But like, then 'passing away' is the end point aka destination BUT nothing else before that is. So since passing away is certain we can ignore it and say that theres no 'destinatiom' in life. What we usually mistaken as destination are our 'dreams/ goals’ in life. But no, they are not destinations or end points. They are your targets. You want them, and yes you will adjust your life in order to focus and head towards your targets and youll be fighting for it and eventually you will reach it one day but. Your life will not end there. It does not end there. You keep living. New problems may come up. New targets will arise. So you see? Life is ongoing. May be these days youre living life but its not anywhere close to your dreams/ goals but BUTTTTT your life right now is also AS REAL as the life youre always picturing in your head. IT. IS. AS. REAL! so yeah life is ongoing. Its vacation now but yeah it wont be anymore and its not just the fact that it wont be vacation anymore but to add to that itll be SUPER hectic but yeah thats life and then before you know it therell be a vacation and then itll end and blaablaa. Life goes on!!!!! And you need to be okay with it and face anything that comes in your way with an open heart! I said face it. Means sometimes you need to accept, sometimes fight, sometimes struggle, sometimes cherish. Aha soooo ok lets get back to what i was sayin :3 Yeah so i mean its almost a month left, and for me i kind of feel like vac almost ending and i just dont really want to keep sruffs like cleaning and organisjng for the week before uni will start. So i did it this week. Also i kind of eat now. Like 'listen to my heartc typa eat. Like not apples and almonds and tea all day! So i also need to work out and so i decided this week i was going to focus on arranging my room, washing my scarves and all and my shoes and stuff and working out and eating and chilling. So well im not really done with it but its going ok. Also the reason i feel like vacation's almost over is because i finally came to know which 'rotation' i am going to start with in 4th year! So its like normally in 4th year there are 4 rotations. Surgery, Pediatrics, Internal Medicine and OB Gyne. So the females get the first 2 rotations that i mentioned above in semester 1 and the males get the last two. And in semester 2 females get last two and vice versa! Now within females/ males - you divide into 2 large groups. So 2 female groups - one starts semester 1 with surgery the other starts with peds. And similarly for males. So the whole batch is divided into 4 larges groups and at any time of the year all the 4 rotations are going on with different groups. Now lets talk about any ¼ group. So in that one group, theres roughly around 50 girls for example & they will start with lets say ‘surgery’. So now among those 50 girls, theyll need to make smaller groups of 5 members each so like 10 small groups of surgery. And now this 5 girls will be together for the whole rotation in the hospital. They go to see patients together. They meet the doctor together and everything. Only once a week there is ‘academic day’ on any specific day depending on your rotation and on that day all the 50 girls will have class at uni and like its a long day usually till 5 with many lectures by doctors. Aha so to summarize, that's how it all works! Now the thing is. People have preference. Like which rotation do you want to start with? Surgery or Peds? Haha Also, the thing is you dont get to decide! You just randomly form two big groups of equal number of girls and then they will assign a rotation randomly! But then people have preferences! Like some wants to start with surgery & some with peds. Now both has advantages & disadvantages! Surgery - ok this is hard! Its a fact, not my opinion! And it doesnt just end there! The doctors who teach surgery well let me rephrase..The “surgeons”! Well they're “surgeons” so they kind of expect you to know how everything works in the hospital right from Day 1 & they are less friendly, they teach less and expect you to know more! But if surgery is your 1st block how will you possibly know how things go in the hospital! So yeah you need to be alert always! Ok but the good side to starting with surgery is that since youre starting with it right after vacation youre all energetic and motivated and all and you can give it the attention and energy it really demands! But with time you seriously feel less motivated and its harder to study for uni! Well that is no excuse to slack off but then yeah in order to not slack off you need to work harder and harder! So thats the thing! Surgery is just easier to handle if started first but then the surgeons are the problem! Now peds. So yeah the things goods & bads of peds is the opposite of surgery! The doctors are extremely friendly and they teach but but peds is boring. Infact i personally hate peds and obgyne! So yeah! Now at first i wished i start with surgery but then with time I wanted peds. Cause like I really want to work hard for each and every block and so the timing of the rotation shouldnt matter! Whenever whatever comes, i have to face it and ace it! Simple as that. So if i start with peds I will also be able to start with friendly doctors and will have enough time to get to know how things work in the hospital rather than having surgeons who expect you to know everything on day 1! BUT BUT thats just my preference which switch from surgery to peds and anyways final say is not in my hands AND TO ADD TO THAT, more than what i preferred, i honestly left it more to Allah to give me whatever He thought was best for me. So like id say peds sounds good, but then I wouldnt like baaaaaadly want it and all like id be fine with either because im praying to Him to take care of it and help me through the entire path! Aha. So I got surgery! And i didnt feel bad even for a second. I mean. Oh surgery? Ok yeah cmon show me what you got!!!!!! :3 haha So yeah cause like now ik ill be starting eith surgery and then later peds. And like i mean just imagine like vacation started end of May and since then until beginning of this week youre completely clueless wth youll start the next year with and all is kinda confusing and then you finally know youll start with surgery. OHHHH! HOW COULD I MISSS THIS OUT. Like SURGERY!!! You GET IT????? Surgerys the REAL DEAL. i mean surgery is my thing. I never joined med school thinking ill be a ‘doctor’! I entered med school thinking ill be a ‘surgeon’ inshaAllah. AND it has never changed! So yeah! Now i never said it i think, but, i chose medicine because IN MY OPINION this is the most realistic way in which you are doing something for humanity which ultimately contributes to your religion i.e. to Allah and therefore for your own self for the Hereafter. I am aware that there are a zillion other ways to do so but i think this is number one on the list. Or if not 1 at least in the top 10! Now it doesnt end there. So first, i chose “medicine” for this reason. Now, yeah it doesnt end there. I want to be ‘involved enough’ in doing the job that i need to use to -use my own hands- to do so!!!! And thats nothing but surgery! Yeah! Thats basically what im about :):):) Aha okay so i started typing and then i keep talking talking talking and now idk what i wna say. Im all over the place looool Okayyy i need to go now! Just one thing i missed oh! Him. There's SO much of emotions stuck in me. SO Strong.. I dont think I have ever felt for him, or can ever feel for him AS MUCH AS I feel for him right now.. ❤

[zacfaq]

PLEASE DON’T SEND ME “PASS IT ON” MESSAGES !! as sweet as some of they are they can be really annoying. i don’t check my PMs here! if you need to get ahold of me either send me an ask, or email me.

apparently necessary reminder: google exists! i’m not a know-it-all source, honestly i shouldn’t even be your second plan after google unless it’s a question specifically based on me or something relating to me

i try to avoid fandom drama as much as possible and keep a generally positive space, so please don’t come and ask me about stuff like that. thanks. 

if you want to commission me please send an email to zacharyjackbaron@gmail.com. do not email me through this address if your intentions are purely social and not work related

-what do you use to record and edit your speedpaints?

i use OBS to record, and edit in sony vegas

-what do you use to draw?

huion gt-191 and clip studio paint

-what are your pen settings?

just the default settings. all my custom stuff/things i’ve downloaded from CSP assets are just things i think look neat but probably never end up using. 

-a blog called papersans is claiming to be you! are they a thief?

that’s literally me, i use it to archive my art so i can find stuff easier without having to hunt through my tag. also available for people who just want to see my art n not my other posts

-when is your birthday?

february 6th!

-what is your sexuality?

gay. i like men.

-how long does it take you to draw?

idk like. awhile? sometimes 45 minutes sometimes four hours sometimes a week. 

-can i draw you/your ocs?

of course! pls show me after it would make me very happy !!!!! 

-favourite band/singer/musician?

i don’t know a damn thing about myself here’s a spotify playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0Zk5o5g7nMnGt0vrJVEcDq?si=7cd248a0b64046ee

-will you do art for cheap/free?

nah. art is currently the only job/income i have, if ur interested in commissioning me you can either find my prices on like, any of my pages, but if not ur more than welcome to email me @ zacharyjackbaron@gmail.com and i can give you prices there !! -(venting or something involving abuse, suicidal thoughts, self harm, bullying, eating disorders, or other similar things in real life situations. even in fiction i’m iffy.)

i hate to sound rude or not be of help, but please don’t send these messages to me. they send me into horrible anxiety  for several personal reasons. if you’re having such negative thoughts i implore you to speak to someone you trust without an anonymous mask, or do your best to seek help from a professional. i have my own things to worry about and as much as i’d like to help, i simply can’t.

-(asking for advice that isn’t related to art)

i would love to help but i’m not an ~all knowing source~. i can’t give you tips for school. i can’t give you tips for life. not only will i probably not know a solution for you but there’s likely a chance i’m in just as bad a situation as you/going through the same problem, as silent as i am about my personal life. also don’t use ‘asking for advice’ as an excuse to vent about things or to send me a paragraph describing in depth something listed above/that’s potentially triggering. thank you.

even if you’re looking fr art tips i’m not a great source i’m still learning, ur best bet is looking for already existing sources and reading through those bc i don’t preach the word of Art God. i’m also awful at explaining things

-why didn’t you answer my ask?

Main reason is i’m just really really bad at socializing, so it’s not anything on u. i’m almost always low on energy and when i do talk to people it wears me out really quick. i’m also just. not gr8 at talking in general so if i can’t think of a reply i tend to just leave things n then end up forgetting about them

-how do you draw [blank]?

honestly my art style is such a fucked up thing that’s so personalized to my own use i can’t do or make tutorials. the best i can do is direct you to my youtube.

-can we do an art trade?

sorry, i’ll have to say no. i’m not necessarily busy but i get stressed very easily, so i try to keep my art to either personal stuff or work ! if you would like art from me, please considering commissioning me! mutuals and friends may be the exceptions here if they catch me at a good time or we make plans well ahead to do smth when we’re both free to work on stuff

-can we be friends?

please don’t ask this. i’m awful enough at socialization as is and i just don’t fit well with most personality types. not to mention this is just overall a bad question. it backs the person being asked into a corner where they either have to say “yes” and end up in a friendship that actually isn’t working out and is maybe only good for one side bc they’re getting any and all of the benefits, and if they say “no” they look like a total dick bag and come across as an ass. don’t ask this question. it’s not how socializing works. it’s not how friendships work. thanks. -can you tag [blank]? unfortunately i’ve been a real bad place in terms of memory so i can’t tag tons and tons of things. i try and tag more general/basic things but i’m sorry i’ll have to pass on specifics. if i post or reblog things that trigger u or harm you it might be best to unfollow for ur own safety!! very sorry

if it’s specific words you’d like tagged please consider blacklisting the word itself. 

-how tall are you?

i’m 5'11".

-can you promo me?

i’d rather not, doesn’t sit well with me. if you have a commission post you want me to reblog i’m happy to! but i won’t just do text based handouts, y’know? not a fan of being used for visibility for no reason, and chances are if i do it for one person it’ll happen with hundreds of others and i don’t want my blog to turn into a free advertisement zone that just floods peoples’ feeds with promotions.

-you reblogged something from someone extremely problematic/unsafe

thank you for letting me know! tell me what it is they did, even better offer proof on it. i’ll likely delete the post and blacklist their url to hopefully prevent their name popping up on my blog in the future. i won’t publish these asks mostly to avoid discourse or in the event false information is provided. sorta just safety precaution i guess

-you’ve done something bad

again, thank you for letting me know! if i post or say something questionable please feel free to message me and i’ll try my best to address the issue and adjust accordingly. i’m aiming to grow as a person so critique is welcome, both on me and my artwork. don’t just come up and call me an asshole or a prick or something, actually point out the errors and explain why they’re wrong so i can better understand and it doesn’t just turn into a defensive round of who’s worse, because i tend to be a very defensive person.

-i think someone is stealing/reposting your art!

thank you very much for telling me! don’t message them right off the bat, come to me first and i will deal with it. i’ve dealt with this shit tons of times and it’s tiring as fuck but i’d rather repeat the same stupid civil message over and over again than start a giant calamity over something and end up with someone getting hurt. if you do get involved please stay polite about it don’t throw insults just a simple “hey this art was done by princeofmints/tv-headache/zachary jack/dirtypip/(etc my other account names) and he doesn’t want his art reposted, please take this down or add proper credit.”

-can i use your art as an icon?

sure man. only on places like instagram, tumblr, or twitter though, and proper credit in an easy to see place must be given. if a piece of art is of my ocs or especially vent art though never use it for icons. thank you.

-can i repost your art?

the answer is “no” but i know you’re going to do it anyways. easy to see credit is mandatory. if you see somebody reposting my art please let me know and i’ll talk to them. if you want to use my art in things like image edits, i don’t allow that. want to use my art in a video? if it’s something like an AMV sure fine just credit me and inform me beforehand, if it’s something like a cringe/comparison video. no. i don’t want any association with work like that whatsoever. you may not use my artwork for fanfic covers.

-can i colour/finish one of your sketches?

no. even if you don’t intend on posting it. 

-what is [insert some form of media/fandom]

https://www.google.ca/

-why do you have an entirely separate blog for your FAQ? you know you can make blog pages, right?

i’m well aware of that and originally my faq WAS set up on a blog page, but unfortunately many folks proved to be either lazy or just couldn’t figure out how to get to a blog page on mobile so i had to set it up this way for accessibility purposes.

-tons of your videos are gone, what happened to them? will they come back? can you repost them?

i set old videos on private for my own sake, i don’t like having my old content available bc it just looks old and stale and i don’t like it. there’s nothing deep about it, i just don’t want people interacting with my old stuff. as deep is it gets is i just deleted videos related to fandoms i’m sick of bc the association is fuckin annoying. these videos will not come back into public. i do keep them posted for my own reflection sake, but that’s it. don’t ask me to bring them back. don’t whine about me not putting shit back out just bc ur a little sad n gonna cry. guilting people is gross, reevaluate yourself.

if you want a song from an old video, just ask me! I’ll happily let you know what the music is in case u liked ‘em and can’t remember the titles or artists. i’ve also got a playlist full of the music i listen to so u can comb through there n see if the songs u want are there

[doctor-roman]

What's wrong with Bolas? He's a bad guy, but that's part of the story? Or do you love the story and agree he's very evil, or do you genuinely don't like the story because of him? Doesn't every story need conflict?

I have no problems with Bolas being a villain. My problem lies in his character and personality.

Here’s the thing: characters like Bolas (and while we’re at it, Ob) are kind of supposed to be disliked in some capacity by a majority of a franchise’s audience. They are the people you like seeing punched because it means the heroes (the people the audience are supposed to root for) are doing a good job. 

This is seen in their motivations: Bolas wants unlimited power, and Ob wants to rule the world (or worlds, as the case may be). They are, for lack of a better term, your average Saturday morning cartoon villains.

And there’s...nothing wrong with that. Like I stated before, those are the characters that push the story’s heroes forward and give them a hill to climb.

The major failing that you get with characters like that is that they tend to be incredibly shallow from a narrative perspective. WHY does Bolas want his old walker powers back? WHY does Ob want to rule over planes? There’s little, if any, motivation behind their goals. At least not any that your average Joe can feasibly relate to. What would they even DO if they accomplished their goals?

And it doesn’t help that there’s no backstory behind them either. Bolas just kind of showed up in the Elder Dragon War, and Ob was a conqueror from the get go. Even if there was a story behind their motivations, I can’t think of anything that isn’t a major sob story (and really, what kind of reaction do you think people would have if they found out Bolas was some dead beat nerd in high school and only wanted unlimited power so that no one could pick on him anymore?)

But back to your original question and why this all ties into my answer.

Bolas is a jerk. He’s MEANT to be a jerk. He’s SUPPOSED to be a villain. I’m SUPPOSED to root for the other guy when he’s on screen. That’s the narrative niche that he fills. The fact that his character - his personality - is as flimsy as a wet piece of paper doesn’t help.

So when I see a plane inspired by a mythology that I hold near and dear to my heart - a plane that could make me love Magic as much as I did when I first got into it - and to see it have its entire culture so closely knitted with the one character I’m supposed to (and actually do) hate, it upsets me. Because now I can’t fully immerse myself in the world building that Wizards has done for this plane, because who is exalted on high and praised as a positive figure by its native people?

A one-dimensional Saturday morning cartoon villain who sits back and rubs his claws with glee as he takes steps forward to regain unlimited power for seemingly no reason other than because he wants to.

And I’m not saying that people who like Bolas should stop liking him or should feel bad for doing so. People can like villains for whatever reason they want. But by that same token, people can dislike villains for whatever reason they want. And I’ve presented my reasons.

Personally, I prefer my villains to have understandable, relatable goals and make the audience question what’s right and what’s wrong. Take Vraska for example: She was beaten bloody and bruised for fear of her powers by an oppressive police force, and so took her revenge against them and those that think like them.

Understandable: [X]

Relatable: [X]

Even Nahiri, who people know I hate, has an understandable motive for doing the things she did. It doesn’t change the fact that she’s a villain now, but the reasons for how and why are there and an argument can be made as to whether or not what she did was the “right” thing (and as we all know, there have been plenty of arguments).

To summarize; we have a plane that I could have very well loved as much as the setting that got me into this game inextricably tied to a character with about as much depth as a pot hole on the side of the road.