#there isn't any more than just that online and I am not buying a book on an unrelated topic for this one fact

[runwayrunway]

It's okay. The Ryanair flying boat isn't real. It can't hurt you.

[tearwolfe]

I'll borrow a warrior cats book from the library and see how it is before buying a book.. shivers in fear, i did not know that..

yeah for sure do not buy them. there's also a bunch of free PDFs online you can read!! or check them out through libby or whatever online library service your local library uses if you don't mind reading from your phone.

gonna use this chance to highlight issues with warriors under the cut!! because i've spent so much time being with this series i have a lot of thoughts. i want to let you know i am not trying to cancel warriors or anything, there's just a lot of issues and i like talking about it.

CW: misogyny, pedophilia, ablism, racism

Okay, we're going to start with the more annoying aspects. First of all, Warriors is written by a ton of different people. They have the main writers outline the plot, and there's a bunch of other people that fill in all the empty space. Kind of an interesting way to do it, but that's why Warriors is able to publish several books a year. Erin Hunter is just a penname for a group.

INCONSISTENCIES

Why do I bring this up, what's the issue? The inconsistencies, dude. There's so many. Character appearances change between books. Dovewing's eye color changes frequently, for example, to the point where there was an internet war about how she would be represented on the Warriors Wiki. Another example is Mapleshade, a cat that's been prevalent as a villain since Crookedstar's Promise. In that book, she's referred to as a ginger-and-white she-cat, but after that she's been described as a calico (er, tortishelle-and-white, because Erin Hunter is somehow allergic to the word calico). Appearances aren't the only inconsistency. Character personalities are a big issue. After the first arc especially, characters will lose what charm they had in their personalities. Suddenly Spottedleaf is in love with Fireheart/star after she dies, suddenly Yellowfang is unwelcoming towards cats who find themselves breaking the Warrior Code (despite being a codebreaker herself and having compassion toward other cats while she was alive). The authors also seem to have trouble keeping track of characters. On one page Sandstorm leaves camp to go on patrol, and a paragraph later she is seen STILL in camp, talking to someone, despite having been written to leave camp. It's a very bizarre series to read. (Other inconsistencies include miswriting names [Ravepaw incident], using the wrong pronouns, and entirely confusing cats between each other). Heavystep also died a few times because the Erins forgot that he died.

MISOGYNY

Outside of poor writing, we're hit with misogyny. Main female characters, in POV, are written at least a little bit better than any of the other she-cats. However, as soon as the next arc starts and she's put out of the limelight, the authors have to give her a mate, give her kits, and make her a mother. There is only ONE POV she-cat I can think of that didn't die and never had kits. Twigbranch is literally the only one. This isn't a dig at being a mother at all, however whenever the Erins DO make a former main character a mother, that's the only trait they give them. Rarely do these she-cats continue to carry the personalities they were given initially.

It's not even a secret that the fandom dislikes when every she-cat is boiled down to being just a babymaker. The Erins literally killed off a she-cat because the fans didn't like the fact that her only personality trait was mom. Yes, this actually did happen.

There's lots of victim-blaming misogyny with whatever is going on between Squirrelflight and Bramblestar and between Leafpool and StarClan. Bramblestar will literally say the worst things to Squirrelflight and the narrative makes it seem like he's in the right. It's not wrong to display unhealthy relationships in media, but if you're writing a KID'S SERIES, it's extremely irresponsible to constantly write the victim as being wrong. This applies to how StarClan blames Leafpool for everything that's happened to her, despite the fact that Crowfeather was also a part of the equation.

Don't even get me started about Spottedleaf's Heart. In summary, Spottedleaf was groomed by Thisteclaw from when she was a kit (and he was a Warrior), and the narrative only makes Thistleclaw a bad guy because he was training in the Dark Forest, not because he is a predator.

ABLEISM

It's absolutely crazy how ableist this series is. In arc one, we have Brightpaw, an apprentice who gets mauled by dogs, and as Bluestar watched, as what she thought was going to be her death bed, she decided to give her her warrior name- a name that she would be stuck with in StarClan. She chose "Lostface." Brightpaw would eventually recover, loosing one of her eyes in the attack, and would live with being called Lostface until Firestar was able to rename her (to Brightheart). The whole renaming thing feels gross enough, but Brightheart is probably the best case scenario of ableism in Warriors, as she was allowed to function as a regular Warrior in the clan. Cinderpelt wasn't so lucky. She was a Warrior apprentice who got hit by a car, mangling her leg. She was then forced to become a Medicine Cat because she "couldn't hunt or fight" (despite the fact that real world cats are able to function completely normally while missing a limb). Longtail lost his vision in a fight with rabbits and he was retired early to the elder's den, despite wanting to be a Warrior. Jayfeather was blind, so he was made a Medicine Cat despite wanting to be a Warrior. Briarlight was paralyzed, so she was put in the Medicine Cat den most of the time despite wanting to be a Warrior. This is a very common theme in the series. Any cat who isn't fully able-bodied is often made to be a Medicine Cat or an Elder, even if that's not what they want. Literally every single Medicine Cat in ThunderClan since Spottedleaf through to Alderheart never wanted to be a Medicine Cat.

Being a Medicine Cat isn't supposed to be a bad role, but the way Warriors uses it as a cop-out to make disabled cats have a more "plot interesting" role without allowing them to be a Warrior is really weird.

ANTI-INDIGENOUS WRITING

I'm not the most knowledgeable person on this topic, however, many Indigenous readers have brought up a lot of issues the series has in terms of being culturally insensitive to native tribes. There's a well-written document that explains this in full detail.

IT'S KIND OF JUST BAD?

The writing isn't good. This goes back to the multi-writer issue. These people can't keep track of their characters or plot, so a lot of things just sort of fall flat. The best plotlines can be found in some of the novellas and graphic novels, and then I think it's because they're mostly written by one person.

How come StarClan can be so vague to living cats, but when we get POV in StarClan, they just act like normal cats? How come Ashfur randomly was super powerful in the Dark Forest/StarClan, while every other cat wasn't? There's just a lot of unexplained stuff, it's very weird.

Warriors is a very interesting series because it's pretty bad yet the fandom is huge. I definitely recommend watching Warriors Multi-Animator-Projects, reading fancomics, and fix-it fanfics instead of actually reading the books. The fans are so, so talented, it's crazy how a never-ending series of children's cat books has created such an insane fanbase.

[papersnakepress]

I had a message the other day asking (among other things) what kind of tools and equipment I use in making books, and as it's something I like to go into detail on, I realized I couldn't fit everything I had to say in a message so it's getting its own post. With photos!

Disclaimer that I'm not a professional bookbinder, I'm entirely self-taught and probably have habits and practices that would drive a pro nuts. I'm no authority, but these are the things that have worked for me, and maybe you can adapt them to work for you too.

This post will not cover: storage options, materials like board and glue, or equipment specific to one narrower aspect of the hobby like embossing or gilding. It is also not a tutorial on how to make a book, though I am covering things in more-or-less the order I use them in during the book-making process.

This post will cover: What I've found useful, what I've regretted buying, and some things you can co-opt from other, more common hobbies. A lot of it you may already have in your house. Some of it is for beginners, some is nicer equipment you might want as you get further into making books. They are not separated, it's just a list and some description.

Keep reading below the cut; this is gonna be a very long one and there are a lot of photos of everything.

If you want to make books you will need access to a printer. I'm not going to go into detail on this part and I didn't take a photo of my HP (not the best brand, but that's a long discussion in and of itself). Once you've got your pages printed and it's time to fold it into signatures, it helps to have a folding tool like these:

Folding tools can be anything as long as they're smooth and flat. The one on the left here is an actual bone folder from an art supply shop, but the center one is a plastic leatherworking tool that I got at Hobby Lobby, and the one on the right is an agate burnisher that I got from Amazon. None of these cost more than $10, and you can also use the edge of a pen (as long as it has no rubber grip or cap/clip) or the back of a spoon. Or your fingers, but the tools make it faster and the folds are more precise. I once worked a job where I had to fold maps, and all my coworkers were wondering how I did them so much faster and why mine were flatter than everyone else's, and it was because I'd grabbed a sharpie and started using the back end like a bone folder.

Once it's folded, you'll need to poke holes for sewing. I use one of these:

Left is, again, an actual bookbinding awl from an art supply store, while the center one is a paper quilling tool and the right one is a beadwork awl, both of which came from a big chain craft store. The bead one is my favorite; it's a good size and very stable. The quilling thing has too long and thin of a blade and it's wobbly, and I don't like the tapering on the bookbinding awl. It tends to make the holes in the middle page too big, and the outer ones too small. Again, these were cheap, about $10 each, but you can also use a sewing needle stuck in a cork, or a thumbtack or pushpin. If it's pointy and rigid, it'll work.

This isn't a requirement by any means, but I've found I like having a punching cradle for the hole-poking step. I got this 3d printed one from a fellow bookbinder, who was designing their own and made this one as a prototype. There are a lot of tutorials on how to make a punching cradle, or you can buy them online from several different vendors. They don's all look like this, and you can make them from wood or cardboard (though those don't usually have guide holes). If you're just starting out or this doesn't appeal, you can just use a paper template like the one on the far right. The cradle helps get the holes lined up and evenly spaced, and I've never liked this step so anything that makes it faster and less fussy is a win. If you use this kind, check that your hole-poking tool fits in the guide holes--the binding awl pictured above doesn't, but the other two do.

We've made holes, so let's stitch them up. These are just regular sewing needles and beeswax, to make your thread less prone to tangling. You can get both of them in any store that has a sewing department. There are dedicated bookbinding needles, like curved needles, and some binders like them, but I've never gotten the hang of the curved ones and they aren't necessary, especially when you're just starting out. If it fits through the holes you made, it will work.

Once it's sewn, you probably want to squish your new text block so it's flat. I've got a laying press that I bought a couple of years ago when I was first getting started. It was marketed as a book and flower press, and it's honestly not the best. I would probably not have bought it if I had known that it wasn't essential to the process, and I mainly use it now when I'm squishing a text block and still want to use my work space, because once it's tight I can move it somewhere else. You can really use almost anything for squishing as long as it's heavy and flat and rigid on one side, like the stack of books in the right-hand photo. Textbooks, encyclopedias, art and photo books, and comic book omnibuses are all great. I've seen people use all kinds of things, like paper-wrapped bricks and doorstops, and there are tutorials out there to make your own press out of cutting boards if you do want one.

If you like your books to have smooth, flat page edges you're going to have to trim them. This is a book plow from Affordable Binding Equipment, and it was the first piece of actual expensive equipment that I bought. Not all plows look like this; I think the design is unique to ABE, but I've never used the traditional kind. In the interest of full disclosure, you can also trim edges with a sharpened chisel, which is much cheaper and can be bought at any hardware store, and some binders love this method. I do not love this method and have had zero regrets about caving and getting the plow. Very easy to use but does require some grip strength. Not pictured: the setup for sharpening the blade, which isn't hard but requires a bit of space and a small sheet of plate glass that you have to source yourself. Even with that, I still prefer it to the chisel. That said, this is not an essential step and you can leave your books with a "sawtooth" or deckled edge. Most of my early books have them, and some people just like them better than the flat ones and never learn to trim them. As another side note, some tutorials will say that you can trim your edges flat with a knife. You can't. Maybe on a pamphlet you can, but if it's more than 10 or 20 pages you just can't. It will look terrible.

If you're going to use a plow, you've got to have the right kind of press. The one I talked about further up the thread is the wrong kind (full disclosure: I did use it with that press turned on its side, before I bought this one. But it's harder, more time-consuming, less comfortable, and less safe. Don't be like me). So here's a photo of my finishing press (also from Affordable Binding Equipment). I bought it so I could make backed books, but I use it for trimming too. The top part here has a narrow tapered section for backing, but if you flip it over it's totally flat, which is what you need for trimming. Not pictured: the stand that it came with for backing, or the c-clamps that I use to attach it to the desk for trimming. Again, though--this isn't a requirement for bookbinding. This is a later stage that's entirely optional. On the subject of backing, though:

You don't need special equipment to round the spines of your books, but you do for backing. Left image is the set of backing boards I got from, once again, Affordable Binding Equipment, and on the right is a backing hammer from Hollander's. Neither of these are essential. Even if you get the boards (which have to be used in a press with a tapered edge, like the one directly above) you can actually use a regular hammer as long as the front part has no scratches or gouges. This one is a backing hammer, the primary difference being that it has a wider, convex head than a regular household hammer, to make the kind of glancing blows needed for backing a little easier. Honestly, I'm still learning how to use these and I'm not very good with them yet. Comes of being self-taught, probably. I don't think youtube is the best vehicle for learning this part, but it's what I have and I'm making do. Not every book is going to benefit from backing, either; it's primarily for helping mitigate spine swell.

Okay, time for my favorite repurposed equipment hack.

It's bookends. Regular bookends that I've had for ages and that probably came from Ross or some other place that doesn't even sell craft supplies.

Want to keep the text block upright while you glue it? Bookends. Want to sew some custom end bands but your text block keeps falling over? Bookends. They won't provide pressure for squishing, but if you just need to hold something upright while you work on it, bookends are the answer. They hold up books, it's right there in the name. Having said that, you want some with a little weight to them, like these agate slices, so they won't slide around. And you want something with a smooth finished edge like these, so they won't scratch up your text block or leave dents. I have other sets but these are the only ones I use for this purpose, and they're better for it than anything else I've got.

Moving on from making the text block, let's look at what I use to make covers.

It's appeared in the background of most of the other photos, but here's a photo of just the desk surface covered in cutting mats. I really recommend a mat to protect the surface of your furniture and keep your knives from going immediately dull. I've got a big one that covers almost the full surface, and a small one for when I want to be more mobile. I started with just the small one and it was good until I started working with larger sheets of paper. The big one was bought largely for convenience but I have no regrets about it. They're self-healing, non-slip, and you can get them in the sewing section of any big craft store.

I'll be honest, I am not big on knives. I've got a regular box cutter for trimming board, and a razor knife for paper and cloth, and that's it. There are a lot of kinds and really all you need is one sharp blade for board. Paper and cloth can be cut with scissors if you want, though I find I get more consistently straight lines with the knives. Also pictured: Metal rulers and a T-square. You want a metal ruler for this. Plastic will flex and wood won't lay flat. Ideally you want one without a cork backing (my 18" one has this problem) and with the tick marks etched in rather than printed (my 12" one has this problem). For larger sheets of paper and cloth, the 18" one is great, but you can get by with the smaller one. The T-square is for making right angles; mine is plastic and only 12", and I really wish I had a longer one that was metal. These are drafting tools and you'll find them in the section of the craft store that has easels and sketch pads and they're usually pretty cheap.

This is an adjustable compass. You can probably get these at craft stores but I got mine on Amazon. It's for measuring hinge gaps and the width of spines, both essential for making sure your cover fits your text block and your hinges open the way they should. Both of those are incredibly frustrating situations, and this thing makes it so much easier to avoid them.

Things to spread glue with! Any old paintbrush will do, though I like to have a few different sizes and textures on hand to choose from. I like the big one for cover boards and casing in, the mid-size ones for doing turn-ins, and the little fellow for details and touch-ups. I don't care for foam brushes because I find them hard to clean when glue is involved, but if you like you can use those. The metal thing on the left is a micro-spatula, and I did have to special order it from an art supply place but it was cheap and it's very helpful to have on hand for when the brushes are too thick, for doing turn-ins on rounded spines, and for separating pages if you decide to learn edge foiling. Not essential, but recommended.

One thing I neglected to take a photo of is my crepe eraser. Despite the best intentions, no matter how careful you are, you will at some point get glue where you don't want it, where it will be visible on the finished book. This is where the crepe eraser comes in; you can use it to remove dried glue from cloth or (to a lesser extent) paper. Very annoyingly, none of the craft or art supply places I went to had even heard of these and I had to get mine from Amazon. It was cheap (under $10) and I strongly recommend getting one.

Once your cover is made, you have some options. You can leave it blank, hand-letter or draw an image, stamp it with ink or embossing powder, use a stencil, or do what I usually do these days and make a cover graphic from HTV. I've got a cricut for this (though they're not the only kind of cutting machine; it pays to research other brands) and a mini heat press (I want a bigger one, but I got this one cheap because the box is messed up). A lot of libraries have cricuts you can use, and you can use a regular iron to apply the HTV. Getting it to stick is a bit tricky, but that's true no matter which tools you use. Not pictured: a cutting mat, different than the kind shown above, necessary with most materials you can cut (mine came with one, they're about $20 at most craft stores, and they're lightly sticky to keep your materials in place while it's being cut). I don't know if other brands require them, but cricut does unless you're using their Smart Materials (I have never used these). If your library has a cutting machine, they will also have the appropriate cutting mats. Also not pictured: weeding tools. Weeding is when you remove the bits of HTV that you don't want in the final image, usually the spaces between letters and such. The negative space, if you want to get artsy. The special tools cricut sells aren't necessary, you can use an awl or needle and the dull edge of your knife blade, but I have a set of theirs and I like mine.

I didn't take a photo of it, but sometimes I use embossing inks and powder to make cover designs and text. You only need a heat gun for embossing powder, it takes up way less space than the cricut does, and it's cheaper. I got mine free from a family member so I don't know what it cost initially, but cutting machines are a really big expense; the cricut is my third most expensive piece of equipment, after the finishing press and the plow.

Good god I think that's everything. It sounds intimidating, I know. And it sounds like it takes up tons of space in your home, and to be honest it can, but it doesn't have to. The first dozen or so books I made, I made completely to my satisfaction with tools and materials that fit in one 12x16" moving box. If you love the hobby and can make the space, the bulkier items might be worth it down the line, but especially when you're first getting started it's smart to keep things low-cost and compact. Most of the basics are simple and your fellow bookbinders are delighted to share their shortcuts and substitutions if you ask.

The end! I hope it was helpful, @cardassianexpats! I did warn you it would be wordy, lol.

[nikethestatue]

That sjm would do fanservice by changing the whole next book is ridiculous. sjm, who doesn't even bother about her fandom enough to interact even at all with them online, even as they bother her and probably bb about it constantly. she will never do fanservice to appease the fandom. Even less so a small part of the fandom. i dont think she cares much about the fandom, but i think she cares about her readers in general. That being the casual readers who do not bother her and harass her online, who are just normal well-adjusted individuals who enjoy her work and will buy it, expecting it to follow the trajectory she has set out (which of course, some within fandom are aswell).

She must have worked with acotar for more than 10 years by now. She, who doesn't even bother with her fandom at all, will never do fanservice to ruin her own creative work.

Please, do not let yourself be gaslit enough to think she would change her life's work for some nasty and mean minority online, who slander and mischaracterise the characters she love. if you start thinking that, its time to take a break and log off this cesspool. Fandom is an incredibly small portion of her readers. do not forget it. If, just hypothetically, she WOULD do any fanservice (which, given her history I DO NOT for a second think she would) - the fanservice would be for the casual readers. They bring in all the money. They are not cruel and viscious. They are her stable, and silent majority of readers, who simply enjoy her work.

Yeah I agree, she doesn't care. And she doesn't cater to a loud but small contingent of fans. Besides, she's seen all of it before. People hated Chaol, Rhys, Rowan...you name it.

She isn't going to say, well, Gee they don't like Elain so I am gonna go and change my whole story so they are happy and get Gwyn! Also the absolute mad precedent that it would set--the biggest romantasy writer bowed down to the mob and changed her story.

Who, really, wants to see this??

Also, legit, if GAs really want a GA book they can just go to Chat, ask it to write a book for them and it will. They can even add specifications like 'healing', 'talking about trauma', and 'shadow bondage in the Library'. All the greatest hits. They don't need SJM for that.

[eredhes]

Hey!

I majored in anth at a p awesome school for it (had a so fun class where we hands on used paleo to neo lithic techniques- from making stone tools to processing hides) but there wasn't much available for prehistoric art (+ I was a major switch from microbiology so bio anth, epidemiology and forensics stuff, made more sense with my course history). Been out of school for almost 10 years now and unfortunately doing nothing even remotely related, but I'm wanting to learn more about prehistoric art of all sorts. With search engines being overrun with AI misinfo I'm not really sure where to start other than Wikipedia. Do you have any favorite resources you'd be up for recommending?

Thanks a ton! Happy holidays, and may the new year be kind.

Hello! I should preface this with saying I am just someone with a general interest and not remotely an expert haha! Getting to do hands on stuff sounds really fun!

A lot of my reading has been restricted to Upper Palaeolithic Europe, and cave art at that, so I can't really recommend anything outside of that.

I've been concerned also with avoiding misinformation - there was a painting I saw a while ago where it was obvious the level of research involved was typing "Lascaux" into pinterest and just using whatever results came up (the art used was from Cueva de los Caballos and Mesolithic) and it's been driving me nuts. I've been sticking to books for information, almost everything I've read has been through Internet Archive, and majority are over 30 years old so could be outdated, can contradict each other, and should be noted are can be very racist.

Putting the list of everything under a read more as it's quite long, I hope there's something useful in amongst all of this! Happy holidays, I hope you have a good new year!

Books and other resources I've found useful in no particular order:

The Cave of Lascaux: The Final Photographs by Mario Ruspoli (1987) [Is on Internet Archive but currently unavailable, the German version is still up.] When Lascaux was closed to the public Mario Ruspoli was hired by the French govenment to document the entire cave on film and wrote this book afterwards. Even though it's focus is Lascaux I found it a good introduction to the topic of cave art. I have tried to find the footage online with little success so if anyone knows... do tell. This book brings you through the cave and gives a good idea of the layout and where paintings/engravings are in relation to each other. I would love if there was something like this for other caves but I'm not aware of anything 🤔

Lascaux Virtual Tour [Link here] The video isn't toally clear but it gives a good sense of the layout, and you can click the little 'i' icon to see clearer photos and get more details.

Images of the Ice Age by Paul Bahn and Jean Vertut (1988) [Internet Archive Link] This book is also a good starting point! There's also Journey Through the Ice Age which is the same book.

Cambridge Illustrated History of Cave Art by Paul Bahn (1998) [Internet Archive Link] I haven't gotten around to reading this yet but it appears to be a broader scope and not restricted to Europe.

Palaeolithic Cave Art by Peter J. Ucko and Andrée Rosenfeld (1967) The main appeal of this bok is that it goes through the different possible reasons for cave art. I had to buy a physical copy as I couldn't find it online.

Kindred: Neanderthal Life, Love, Death and Art by Rebecca Wragg Sykes (2020) [Aeon article link "Sheanderthal: Not all Neanderthals were ‘cavemen’: half were women. What can archaeologists tell us about how they lived?] Not solely focused on art but she does talk about what the neanderthals made including a large circular structure in Bruniquel Cave - there is footage of the cave in the recent netflix documentary Secrets of the Neanderthals (not great, at one point the narrator says neanderthals lived in the neolithic lmfao but the interviews with experts are interesting).

Don's Maps [Link here] Really great website. Some books will mention a painting/engraving/sculpture but no image, so my first place to check is Don's Maps as everything he includes is either from a book which will be referenced or from his own visits to caves.

The Neanderthal Museum Digital Archive [Link here] Despite the name is not exclusively Neanderthal, lots of photos of cave art in the Wendel Collection (including a photo of the one known instance of a saiga antelope in cave art that I hadn't been able to find a photo of before!).

There's also the Archaeology Podcast Network and sites like Academia.edu but I don't have any specific recommendations at present.

[book-lore]

Who's up for a reading challenge for 2025? There are many out there but this is one that I designed specifically to help me, and whoever would like to join me, in getting to read those books I have in my own collection or my local library. This was inspired by a friend talking about how the major publishing companies were often putting out so many books that independent authors often get buried in their wake. Personally, I think this isn't helped by the constant "haul" nature of how many of us hoard books. There's nothing wrong with buying books at all, but often I'm seeing a lot of people buying so many books and reading so few. This isn't meant to be an exercise in shame because I am just as likely to pick up another book as the next person but I would like a reason and a bit of a fun exercise in engaging with my own collection with a little more intention. So this brings me to the Year of Reading Challenge! I'm posting the guide for the squares below so if you are so inclined, feel free to join!

The Challenges:

Centre square is Get or Renew Your Library Card.  The remaining 24 challenges are: 

Numbers Game: Read a full series by the same author(s) in 2025.  Series can be as short as two books, or as long as you want.  If you are a masochist, try the Discworld series, but for all other mortals, choose as you see fit.  Series doesn’t have to be complete, so GOT is fine. 

Mine: Read at least 3 books on your shelf.  These should be books you’ve owned for at least a year.  If you actually read everything you buy, these can be library books. 

Getting To It: Clear at least 2 books off your TBR.  Has to have been on the list for at least six months. 

Nostalgia: Either re-read an old favorite, or read something that reminds you of something you enjoyed. 

Who Are You Again? Choose a book that you’ve forgotten why you put it on your TBR to read. 

Summer: Read a book that reminds you of summer when you were a kid.  Can be a re-read of an old favorite or a book that incorporates something that says summer time to you. 

Winter: Read a wintery or holiday story that you’ve been meaning to get to.  Choose something different than you usually read every year. 

Spring: Budding talent – read a book from an indie author, either one you love or a new to you talent. 

Autumn: Where Tropes go to Die – Read a genre blend that takes common tropes and familiar themes and puts a different spin on them. 

Impulse Buy: You’ve done it.  I’ve done it.  Just read it now. 

Thumbs Up: Read something that has been recommended to you by someone you know. 

Ouch: Read or re-read something that gives you emotional damage.  We all need a good cry sometimes. 

Fluff: Sometimes you just want to feel good.  Read a book that feels like curling up in a large, warm blanket. 

Switcheroo: Is Fiction your life?  Let’s find one non-fiction book you might like.  Are you someone who only reads non-fiction?  Let’s try the land of make believe for one book. 

Thicccc: Stop letting that big book on your shelf bully and intimidate you.  Pick it up and let it know who bought/borrowed it. 

Compact: Sometimes a book doesn’t have to be long to pack a punch.  Read a book that crams as much story as possible into a punishingly small page count. 

Young at Heart: We’re all adults here but sometimes we don’t want to be.  Read a children’s book from any age category. 

Second Date: Find a book on your shelf or from your library that wasn’t your cup of tea.  Give it a second try to impress you this time around. 

Influencer Glamour: You know that book you bought because everyone you know or everyone online said it was the best book in existence, and this is totally different from all the other times another book was the best one they’ve encountered.  Let’s read it and find out if the hype was worth the price tag. 

Perspective is Key: Have you noticed that all the authors you read tend to look the same or have the same background?  Time to get out of your bubble and try reading at least one book from an author who has at least three key differences from your favorite ones. 

Judge by the Cover: We all do it, so let’s just give in to it.  Find at least one book from your own collection or the library where you are intrigued by the cover alone.  Don’t read the synopsis, just dive in. 

Hear Me Out: Audiobooks count as reading.  Better yet, you can read and do other things, like drive or go to the gym or other activities that you can’t do with a physical book.  Listen to at least one audiobook. 

The Book was Better: Find a movie or series that was based on a book and find out if the book really was better after all.  This can include books that have been optioned for adaptation and no, it doesn’t matter if they are languishing in development hell. 

Pulp: It’s trash, they say.  It might be, but it might also be treasure.  Try out a genre of book that gets picked on and see for yourself.  If you are already a pulp reader, it’s time to break out the big guns and get to the stuff that scares off literary critics in the first page. 

Enjoy and happy reading!

[a-hobit]

Since Luz and Hunter in your switched AU are born in 1600s colonial America and Luz clearly speaks Spanish in the AU (shown in a comic) and is Latina (specifically Dominican) in show cannon, is there any history stuff you’re adhering especially considering the differences between Spanish and English colonies in location and demographic or are you ✨going rogue?✨ Is Luz an indigenous-Spanish mix like many Latinos are today? How would she have gotten to mainland since a lot of Spanish claim was in the Caribbean or Florida and treatment of indigenous people by Europeans, specifically Spanish and British, was notoriously brutal? Sorry if I’m absolutely overthinking this. This is coming from a history nerd, so I’m just curious how that’s going to work considering the realities of racial divides in colonial settlements during 1600s America and the relatively small number of Spanish people that actually would’ve lived there by then. AGAIN SORRY IF I’M OVERTHINKING IT I’M JUST A NERD FEEL FREE TO JUST BE LIKE “NAH.”

OH btw, I noticed a comment in a comic that implied trans Hunter and just wanted to mention that there’s some super interesting accounts of LGBTQIA+ people from the time period if you’re interested. I know of a fan work about Caleb and Phillip where Caleb is trans that covers that extensively if you want a link.

I LOVE ASKS LIKE THIS ANON!! Because IM overthinking it but at least someone else is too! So there's a lot I can't answer due to spoilers -- and I actually will be explaining a fair bit because I just am so charmed at how we are so on the same wavelength here so if you don't want to not know literally anything even a little bit spoilery about Luz or Hunter before the comic comes out I would ignore this ask! -- but I will go into some of it!

Okay! So I tossed and turned on this exact issue for FUCKING MONTHS. Go rouge or loophole? How historically accurate did I want to go with this concept and how much of that accuracy am I sacrificing for just needing something to be a certain way? Do I want to be as accurate as possible or have a cohesive and interesting story?

The answer is a little bit of both! Im much more of an art history nerd than a straight up history nerd but I have my moments! I love the sociopolitical conundrum having a latina Dominican (ALSO half black! Love that about her but SO hard to write in!) girl in 1600s America because it can be as little or as highly complicated as you can get. I drew a lot of inspiration for a long few months pouring over what groups of people were where and when -- what languages they spoke -- wether the books that I could find could describe a day to day of these people rather than just political conflicts.

Footnote : There are certain Native American groups so fucking overlooked that they don't even have ONE BOOK of comprehensive (non war centered) history that isn't a four year old reading level. I looked for WEEKS. I tried everywhere and was even willing to start to buy reading material but it just doesn't exist? Especially around the original colonies????? HOW!! People around me started telling me I should write a book because of how much I was obsessing over it and trying to find any information but no books can be written on close to NONEXISTENT historical writings! OKAY BACK TO IT--

I looked out for the first sightings of Spanish in the west and where they were headed -- wether or not any Spanish broke away from the group to have children with the Native Americans in the area at the right time -- what the political state was between Britain and Spain -- did they occupy the same or around the same places close enough I could fudge it? Were they friendly toward each other? When were slaves from other countries brought to America? What languages would they have spoken and is there a good translator online? What kind of spanglish can come from Angola, Umbundu and Spanish speakers at the time? Or would it be spanglish with Portuguese because of who was controlling the slave trade at the time?

Tearing out my hair and a hundred more google searches later I decided it wasn't worth the misrepresentation of both languages to try and include either of them mixed together in that way in the whole comic-- just bits and pieces separate for my sanity -- although I WILL get some cultural things in there I promise!

Some things just can not stay historically accurate and one of those things is speech. That was the first thing -- so damn difficult to really pin it down properly in the older dialects so I just had to sadly put that away first. All of the languages written about will be mostly modern versions, English, Spanish, Portuguese, and others but while keeping in mind the time frame.

Next I obsessed about when and where exactly would culture mixing begin and if the people stayed in the same spots! Also unfortunate ( for this AU purpose only! )that most of the Spanish went down and not into the Americas but history will be what it is.

SO

I decided that what I was going to do is make it up a little using a lot of historical context available instead of switching up Luz's race in a serious way to make the accuracy better -- I was going to have things happen MUCH sooner. Like 2 or 3 generations sooner. The Native Americans and Spanish populate together in 1500 ish instead of 1700 or 1800. I GET THIS IS REALLY INACCURATE but it was so fucking impossible to do anything else without getting into things I didn't want to do. The British get there the same time as usual and start the colonies in the 1600s but the Spanish are already moving up into North America and have already spent a lot of time with the Native Americans there at the time. SO that means that Luz is able to have a Native Mexican/ Native American AND Spanish mix at the time of the AU start and be similar to how the population became around now -- my dad inspired this! He's got the same mix himself and I loved that I could pull from that. It's such an interesting genetic tree honestly -- there's a lot of seriously horrible things that happened do not get me wrong -- but the history is amazing.

Luz being half black however feels similarly difficult but it follows the same principles of things with everyone who is not British making things happen much earlier. Africans come to America ( Horrifically and brutally I want to make that very clear) and some in real life of course make their way out of that brutality and hide away from the British and the Spanish...with who? The mixed Natives and Spaniards. Couple of generations later and we have a beautiful mixed pot like the America we see today but hundreds of years early that allows me to keep my afro Latina!! Hunter eventually finds this group that has naturally traveled up into where the british are setting up their first settlements in Virginia and joins them for reasons I can not explain!

THANK YOU for letting me ramble about all this rich history it is incredible.

ALSO I love trans Hunter HC and I do a lot of it myself but in this comic Hunter is cisgender. ( BUT seriously if you wanna hc Hunter as trans in my story I would love it -- trans fem or masc because Hunter is one of the transest coded characters ever) Because both him and Luz are attracted to the same and opposite sex I will still be able to explore certain LGBTQIA+ issues as well!

(DISCLAIMER : Listen I completely understand if this switching around might feel tone deaf to some people but I do not intend to shy away from the brutality of the past or give it a nicer spin -- but this is not a comic focused on the nitty gritty details of the world that Luz and Hunter come from but a focus on the nastiness that comes from later in their lives in Gravesfeild and the witch trials. To have this happen and keep all characters relatively the same I had to do a lot of background but It is worth it to keep these characters with their integrity intact)

[jingerpi]

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you and I'm not sure if this is the kind of question that you normally get, but I am very new to socialism and was introduced to it by my older sister who's a Marxist Leninist Maoist. My understanding of it mostly comes from her explanations but I've also read some works (not really theory, 'The Great Towns' by Engles for example). To me, from what I know, it seems a much better system than capitalism and I generally agree with what my sister's told me about it and what I've seen online from accounts like yours. I would like to read more but I'm not sure where to begin. I am also disabled and one of the ways it affects me is that I get quite severe mental fatigue and so can't concentrate on texts for a large period of time. Do you recommend any 'entry' texts for beginners that teach how to use the tools of analysis? How did you first get into Marxism and what reading would you recommend? I'm hesitant to buy any modern interpretations of it because I'm not sure which sources are genuine or which are imperialist interpretations of it. I'm sorry if this sounds strange; I'm not sure how to phrase it.

Thank you anyway and I hope you have a wonderful day!

hi hi! Firstly, this isn't a bother and this type of question is lovely

Secondly, I got into marxism when I left my family's religion and began digging into scientific worldviews. I made some friends who had similar experiences and many of them were varying flavors of leftist, I eventually started digging into theory proper and it really resonated with me in a way liberal political science never has.

third, as for recommendations, here are a few! Principles of Communism - Engels This work is very beginner friendly. Its a Q&A about communism from Marx and Engels time. Its useful because of the information it contains, but its also a helpful introduction to the language that a lot of theorists use. its not long and you can read a given question and corresponding answer at whatever pace you want. Theres around 20 questions with only a handful of sentences each, so its not bad at all in my experience.

Where Do Correct Ideas Come from? - Mao This one is extremely short, only really one paragraph. You can skip it if you'd like, but if you find theory hard to get into this one can be a helpful primer for the epistemology (theory of knowledge) that most marxist works use.

For a more in-depth, but still short look into Marxist philosophy, I can recommend Dialectical and Historical Materialism by Stalin. This work is my go-to for the topic. It is a bit denser than the above works but it is a very rewarding study. I've read it many times and developped my understanding further each time, so don't worry if it doesn't click Immediately, this isn't fiction so it will take some time to digest, thats normal. Two works which pair well with the above are On Practice and On Contradiction, both by Mao. The first gets into the relationship between knowledge and practice, it elaborates on Where Do Correct Ideas Come from, and also offers some helpful guides for how to change things. The second is a good compain to Dialectical and Historical Materialism, elaborating on it by another author, A lot of people prefer Mao's writing style, so you can gain another perspective on Dialectics. If you're up for trying a book, a good introduction to the politics of Marxism is State and Revolution by Lenin. This work answers most of the common questions about revolutionary marxism, its positions on the state and where that differs from other ideologies. Its split up into chapters and sections within each chapter, so you can take it at your own pace. It took me a long time from first picking up this work to finishing it, so don't worry if you need to take it slow

I would also highly recommend supplimenting theory with other activities. It sounds like you're already participating in those to some degree, so thats wonderful, but just to clarify: Finding discussion groups and communities which talk about marxism is extremely valuable. Whether its a book club or just some friends to discuss with - Marxism is a communal ideology and it is best underestood socially, so discuss with others as much as you can. If nothing else, feel free to send me asks about the above works (or anything else, really)

There are also plenty of other forms of media which are helpful for study, there are several youtubers you can find who discuss marxism, two I find particularly helpful and rarely discussed are Halim Alrah for raw theory breakdowns in regular words (please do check out his channel), and Kay and Skittles, for media breakdowns which apply marxist analysis to media to gain a better understanding of both.

I hope these are helpful! I've laid them out somewhat in order but the important part is to just pick one that sounds interesting and start. I find I often start several works of theory before finding one to finish - don't think of it as a bad thing if you do the same - reading one work of theory often gives you the knowledge you need to underestand another better, so even if you struggle to tackle something particular and move on elsewhere, you're still growing your knowledge base and that will make understanding it easier in the future when you do eventually try again.

Thank you for the ask <3

[ecogirl2759]

so do you have all the dr1 4komas?

I am once again getting to this late ;-----;

Sorry, got busy again, hehe

I don't have all the DR1 4Koma's, no. I technically only have half of them. I've got the 4Koma KINGS anthology series, which is 4 books in total. I don't have the original 4Koma anthology series, however, which is another 4. (Not to mention the DR1+2 4Komas, but that's slightly different lol.)

For example, the cover on the left is the anthology, whereas the cover on the right is the KINGS series. I only have the series on the right.

With any luck (and a little more money lol), I do hope to find/buy the original anthology series so that I can translate everything and compile it all into one location, but I'm 90% sure that the first series is already fully translated and much more accessible than the 4Koma KINGS one is. Not to say that some of the KINGS series isn't translated as well, since you can definitely find some online. I just have a hard time finding them, and it doesn't look like anyone got to the 4th volume.

I hope this helps puts things into a little more context :D

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

I remember finding your blog back in ~2016 and falling in love with your writing advice and the way you answered others. I remember you often posted about a book you were writing—did you ever finish it? I remember that I saw every update you wrote about your journey as an author and how much i was rooting for you back then. I couldn't wait to read your story and i told myself that i'd buy it even if my english wasn't all that great (and it still isn't now).

I deleted my old blog and now that i came back i wanted to look for you again to see how you were—at first i thought that your blog had been deleted but i ended up seeing one of your posts on my dash by accident and went "Oh! A familiar face!"

I never had the courage to send any asks on tumblr, and I realize now that i also never thanked you for all of your writing advice

So I'd just like to say here, thank you. For all of your writing advice, for all of the help you offer to strangers online and for posting about your book here.

Your advice helped and inspired me so much. You had such an impact on me and my writing and it shows through my works to this day and you have no idea just how much this means to me.

I apologize if this is long. But i appreciate your existence, and i wish you great success on the road ahead

This actually brought a tear to my eye.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, and to have the courage to send it. I am so glad that I have been able to help you along your writing journey with my posts. I'm always fighting the worry that my advice is just white noise, and that it doesn't really do anything for anyone, but I'm glad that it's made such a positive impact on you.

And damn, I've been here since 2016? Lmao that's crazy how time flies.

As for my book, Wings of Faith, you can find info about it on my FAQ (Pinned post!) I have a whole host of content linked there, and usually tag it as #wingsoffaith or #wof. Currently, I'm working slowly through a re-write that came as a result of an utterly devastating plot hole my best friend pointed out. It's been tough. I've been struggling with motivation, after more than ten years of an uphill battle. But it'll get done eventually, and I've put in too much love and effort into it to give up now. Hopefully, once this re-write is complete, I will enlist the help of some beta readers!

Much love always. I wish you the very best.

[hyperactivetransdrone]

You say you’re a nerd in your bio, but what are you a nerd about? Feel free to infodump.

I more Nerd off on my general account bc if I see like a single horny thing I get distracted lol

Anyways I'll start with the thing I've poured the most time into: Pokemon. I almost never make fakémon but I've made 2 so far: a Paradox pokemon Iron Queen and a legendary pokemon that's based on horror as a genre, other than that I have a pokedex list that even at font size 7 on Google docs (any smaller and it's illedgeable) it's like 14 pages, and at that size Google starts to lag, I've also done a full pokedex with stats and everything (not individual stats but base stat total) in a Google sheets and i had to split it into 2 sheets because over 500 pokemon pokemon spread over 4 mini sheets lags Google as well so I split it between 2 sheets with generations 1-4 on the first on and 5-9 on the second sheet.

This is a screenshot of the first generation from mobile, copy and paste most of that information for each form of each pokemon (at least ones with stat/type changes so for example partner Pikachu counts as a different form but not spiky eared pichu) and yeahhh it overwhelms Google a lot, I also have several boxes full of my favorite pokemon as well in pokemon ultra moon as well as maxed out the time in pokemon y, I don't yet have a Nintendo switch so I can't transfer those pokemon yet so that's a little sad but they just means I can still poke-amie them 🥰

I also play a lot of minecraft but there isn't much to talk about with that, same with batman Arkham, video games with little creativity and are very straight lined stories are difficult to really hyperfixate about because what are you going to say? And experience that everyone else has had? Now minecraft is not included in this but when you play alone there isn't much you can really talk about that excites you besides what projects you've done/are planning. I also enjoy mega man and am on summit c-side in celeste (with every other stage up to then beaten all a-sides beaten, all b-sides beaten, all but summit and core c-sides beaten and have not beaten where capitalism has not corrupted... THE MOOOON (I understand that's not the meme but that's the level)

Now in terms of non digital media (excluding music we'll get to that) i like to play magic thr gathering, i don't like their current moto of "power creep so "people will keep buying" even tho people still buy our product and since Commander is popular we'll make all of our products for that" so I just make theoretical decks online, mostly ones that are themed because it's fun making pirate themed decks and things like that. Another game I'm really obsessed with is Exploding Kittens it's really fun and I've gotten every expansion up to this point and yahh I just really enjoy that game. Otherwise if I know people irl I try to play rpgs as I have a BUNCH of dnd minis I've painted, he'll I got a big dragon for Christmas a few years back and here's what he looks like:

He looks REALLY COOL and I realize I did the fire wrong but, Oh well, Too late it's fine. I'm also making a Kirby rpg and a Mario party board game but I REALLY need to get to work on it as I haven't been working on them. I also love writing stories and am currently writing a book, I'm studies character development from YouTube videos to ensure I don't accidently write static characters as the main characters but I LOVE the concepts I made for it I also used to like reading but my mother kept mocking me for "reading erotica" books when 1 it was before the author started making them kinky 2 I didn't fucking KNOW they were erotic so I stopped reading because she kept making fun of me and pretty much just telling me (indirectly) that it was gross that I was reading that stuff even though I didnt know that's what it was

In terms of music I love dragonforce and will go off on how cool some of their music is and also like... ok there's too many that I enjoy to list off but just know I like metal rock and pop (some pop modern pop is veerrrryyy generic and bad) and hell there are stupid like rap Chord thing that i hear CONSTANTLY and I just hate that stupid Mario ds mini game instructions sounding music that fucking everyone is listening to because now even MUSIC has gotten 'safe' these days and i really hate it

Other than all of that what I'm needing about may change from day to day or week to week depending on what I've been doing

Oh one last note: I do also enjoy hypnosis and dronification as non kinks as well has dronification is just... SO helpful i can't focus for the life of me which is why I still don't have my damned drivers license or even past the first page of my book yet and dronification pretty much FORCING you to focus on things would be a LIFE SAVER and hypnosis for a similar reason I have a really difficult time truly relaxing due to my living situation so hypnosis helps me relax more, hell I have some trust issues too thanks to being overly cautious in my childhood so it really helps with a lot of things although my biggest trust problem is I either don't trust you at all or I trust you too much lol

[bison-appreciation-club]

wait how have you been hated on for liking Native American history??? That's so weird 😭😭

oh boyyyy do I have stories for this.

I've never received any online hate, for which I am extremely grateful, but people have been exceedingly weird about it in real life, ranging from bizarre to just plain racist. I can't remember all of it, so I'll just take you through the highlights.

My grandmother never quite knows how to introduce me to her friends (because she has a lot of friends and is quite the social butterfly) so she often introduces me as 'her grandchild, who knows a lot about Native American history'. Which isn't really true. I know a little (well, maybe more than a little) about a very specific area of Native American history. So most of the following things have come from my grandmother's friends.

Native Americans aren't actually American *smug face* they actually come from Nepal. *smug face again*. She seemed so pleased with herself to know something I didn't. And honestly I didn't know how to react. I think that one was more funny than anything. Why are you trying to out-knowledge someone sixty years younger than you. why.

*Accusingly* I suppose you hate Columbus, then. Yes. Yes I do

You're only interested just because you like the aesthetic the what now?

It's just because you're woke why do conservative people have to use the word woke so many times. hey, sorry folks, researching cultures different to your own is WOKE. Proper right-wing fellows are INSULAR. they don't CARE about the rest of the world.

You're disrespecting and abandoning your white heritage ok. Tbh if you consider yourself peak white heritage, I'm glad to be out of it. Seriously tho, how do you think race and nationality works? I can be white and interested in Native American history. The two don't cancel each other out.

Similar to that one, is my personal favourite:

You're committing cultural appropriation by being interested in Native American history. What. This was also said to me by some rando in a bookshop when I was buying a book on, well, guess what topic. I thought they were one of the staff at first, but looking back at it I think they were really Just Some Rando. Why would you say that to someone who is just trying to buy a book. You don't even know me. I don't want your opinion.

That one really worried me for a while, I'm gonna be honest. I had to send a particularly grovelling anon to some Native American I found on Tumblr. And they said it wasn't cultural appropriation. AND they gave me book recommendations. So yeah.

(PS I can't remember who you are, but if you see this, then you metaphorically saved my life and literally saved my dignity)

That's all the specific incidents I can remember, but there have been a lot of other things. Jokes, mostly. Quoting westerns. Speaking like the Native Americans from Peter Pan or some shit whenever I enter the room. I once had someone make those western style war cries at me for five hours.

Making fun of their names is a big one. (Guys, there are only so many times you can make fun of anyone's name, and that amount is zero. even if they're called some shit like techno mechanicus -looking at you, Elon Musk. I literally don't see what's so funny about the name Black Kettle anyway. Either I've been reading about him too much, but it's not a weird name?? Also. He got fucking murdered. I'm researching how he got murdered and you're taking the piss out of him. Get some respect and dignity).

Also. If I have to hear one more joke along the lines of 'did you ever have any reservations about studying this topic' I am going to wring your neck.

So uh I'm sorry I turned your question into a bit of a rant but if I've learned one thing it's this: researching non-white history really shows you people's hidden racism. The amount of shit people have said to me about the Native Americans. My guys your opinions belong in a Victorian dime novel about the frontier. And that's not a compliment.

[misscrawfords]

3, 35 and 40 for the book ask :)

3. Already answered!

35. What do you think of Ebooks?

Mixed feelings. I much prefer physical copies of books. However, I am a book borrower not a book buyer and my library is extremely slow at getting new books, especially more obscure books not originally published in the UK, if it gets them at all. And then there's a really long waiting list. So I see online there's a new diverse romance come out I want to read - chances of my library getting anytime soon are practically nil. I started borrowing or buying ebooks which are cheaper and reading on my phone - not a lot but enough that I finally bought a Kindle last month. Do I feel good supporting Amazon? No. But it did seem like the best way to be able to read certain books and I was getting tired of reading a lot on my phone - a Kindle has better visibility. I can also see the benefits when travelling. Don't worry though - 90% of what I read is still paperbacks. If I had a choice I'd always go for that.

40. Has there ever been a book you wish you could un-read?

Yes, actually. Two spring to mind, both from my childhood. The first was a totally age-appropriate story about a boy, possibly called Luke, whose brother had leukemia. It was one of those children/YA (I guess it would be Middle Grade these days) books with a Worthy Theme that Kids Might Relate To to Help Them With Difficult Stuff. Not my sort of book even then but for some reason I got hold of it. It really, really upset me. I started becoming terrified of getting cancer, of someone I loved getting cancer, of dying, of loved ones dying...

The second was a biography of the cellist Jaqueline du Pre that my uncle bought me as a present when I was 10. My uncle has a habit of misjudging presents but I didn't know that and while this wasn't a kid's book, I guess it looked innocuous enough. This may seem totally different to the above book but it really isn't. Du Pre developed the condition of MS and the biography went into detail about her condition and its effect on her life including her sex life (which I found morbidly fascinating without really understanding it) and eventually her decline and death. Like the above book, this absolutely grabbed me and obsessed me and scared me.

Basically, I cannot engage with fiction that deals with terminal illness, especially cancer. I just can't. I can't watch medical dramas - I can't even deal with Call the Midwife! To this day I will not read any book that has this kind of plotline or theme. All through my teenage years, I refused to read any book that didn't have a happy ending. It was only when studying Greek forced me to engage with Greek tragedy that I started to let in a couple of "sad stories". Even now I will always take happy endings over sad ones, I avoid angst and I never touch misery porn stories. I can deal with the genre of Tragedy (as in Greek or Shakespeare) because it is not so much sad as inevitable, if you get the difference. Chekhov is on a very thin line. In real life too I find terminal illness, hospitals, doctors really awful, more than is normal, I think. A lot of my friends at school wanted to become doctors - I would do literally any other career. It's my nightmare. Whether my horror of these things came before these two books or not I don't know, but I do remember they had a really profound and negative effect on me and I really wish I hadn't read them at that point in my life.

[namandabu]

It's about the efficacy

"The sole intent of Shakyamuni Buddha to appear in this world was to spread the teaching of the Larger Sutra of Immeasurable Life."

This isn't a direct quote, but it is an idea that is repeated in Jodo Shinshu teaching over and over again. It is part of what is so hard to accept about the Jodo Shinshu teaching, coming from the west.

I'll be honest, I grew up with simultaneously a very secular upbringing, while also having my own interests in mysticism and western esotericism that, admittedly, gave me a very inaccurate image of religious experience because while I read all of this stuff, I never really practiced any of it. I knew a lot of book knowledge, but I was all armchair, no meditation cushion.

When I finally decided to get serious about religion (I.E., when I started taking Buddhism seriously), I was bad at it, naturally. Meditation was fun in bursts but anything more than 5-10 minutes made me dread it. I was too overactive. I still am to be fair. And then I found Pure Land Buddhism and I had two conflicting impulses, one of which won out in the end it seems. The first, was to scoff at it, as if it were not "real" Buddhism, whatever that means coming from an arrogant westerner. The second, was to feel as though this was a form of Buddhism that spoke to me as I am now. I'll address the first impulse, then the second.

The first impulse came from a number of things, such as how the after-death aspect of Pure Land reminded me of Christianity which I had long ago thrown into the wastebasket of my mind as a religious feel-good cop-out, mostly out of anger at some of its more "vocal" supporters. Or that the practice of chanting and relying on other-power felt lazy, as though I had any right to make such a claim, as some armchair esotericist, who had never engaged in any kind of truly intensive Nembutsu practice. And to be clear, if these were my feelings for Pure Land more broadly, you can imagine my utter disdain for Jodo Shinshu, which does not even require any intensive practice at all! And to say that this is the sole intent of Shakyamuni Buddha? When Vajrayana exists and yields enlightenment in this lifetime? I did not buy it at all.

Looking back now, I cringe at my arrogance and prejudice, both towards Pure Land Buddhism, and towards Christianity. Because Pure Land Buddhism (very much including Jodo Shinshu) is a full and complete path to Buddhahood that is suitable for practicers of all capacities, and I should not have painted all of Christianity as a bad religion just because christian extremists exist and this ideology is a problem in my country. And if Christianity and Buddhism have overlap, then that isn't a measure of what Buddhism gets wrong, its a measure of what Christianity gets right. Because even though I'm not a Christian I know for a fact that a lot of people, from laypeople to clergy, old and young, get a lot of peace and fulfillment from their lives as Christians, and that deserves respect.

Fortunately, the second impulse won in this internal battle. I decided to follow my intuition, rather than my preconceived ideas. I was lead by this to Amitabha. And though I scoffed, I could not help but to just try reciting his name. Just a little bit. I attended a few chanting services online. I did chanting in my practices at home, when I did them, and more and more I wanted to understand Pure Land Buddhism. The more I practiced, the more I felt as though I was at home in my religion. Saying Amitabha's name became a positive experience for me. And when I tried to leave it behind, I felt lost. Eventually, I gave up on seated silent meditation altogether. I wasn't doing it anyway, and thinking about Amitabha can be done anytime anywhere, so I just let my OCD brain run with it. It was as though I didn't have to practice anything, it was like walking or breathing. And this continued despite my lack of keeping of the Precepts, despite my lack of regular ritual practices, despite my own internal inconsistencies and prejudices. Amida was and is, someone who can be relied upon. Nowadays, Amida and I communicate regularly.

And that's the crux of the matter, isn't it? It's about the efficacy of it. You read these Sutras, and if you have my attention span, not the entire thing, but everywhere you go the Buddha is talking about Great Compassion, the Bodhisattva Vows to save all sentient beings, and all the ways that can happen. And in every verse, it is all about enlightenment as the dynamic activity of the intent to save all beings. And when you look at it like that, and you read just the beginning fasicle of the Larger Sutra, you realize it makes sense:

"The sole intent of Shakyamuni Buddha to appear in this world was to spread the teaching of the Larger Sutra of Immeasurable Life."

Were it not for the Jodo Shinshu teaching, as well as Pure Land Buddhism more broadly, I might not even be a Buddhist today.

[deathlygristly]

I keep running up against that marriage thing online so I keep thinking about it.

I do think part of it is that certain groups who tend to be more prevalent online get an extended childhood that others don't get. I think another part that's invisible for me is religion. I didn't grow up around religion and it's never affected my life or any of my decisions, so I tend to not think about it without it being pointed out by others.

Probably another part is current economic factors - the house we could afford in 2008 when we bought it would be way out of our reach if we were 27 year olds looking to buy a house now. It's currently valued at more than three times what we paid for it, with gentrification coming for our side of town.

Anyway, I like my life and I don't know if I'd like it as much if it'd gone any other way.

I'm an introvert who's probably on the autism spectrum and also the kids would probably say I'm demisexual. The spousal person is also an introvert who's probably a bit further along the autism spectrum than I am, and…not sure if the kids would call him demisexual, but after 24 years of monogamy he seems to be happy and okay with it.

My brother dragged me to a club when I was old enough. A creepy guy kept following me around so I went out to my brother's car and I read the book I'd brought until my brother was ready to leave. Never went back to a club. It's just not something I enjoy.

I don't think we'd be in a better place now if we'd waited for some arbitrary higher age that strangers would have approved of. I don't know that a better place is even possible, really. What could be better than being able to emotionally handle your job, pay your bills, and cuddle up with your most favorite best human and your most favorite best cats every day?

I don't know. It just weirds me out when people have strong emotions about how people who are not them should live. Other people have different situations, neural makeups, histories, cultures, personalities, opportunities, limitations, etc. than you do. They're going to make different decisions and live different lives, and that's okay.

It's just...isn't it hard to exist if you're constantly experiencing strong emotions about others being different from you? Because in a species of over 8 billion individuals, there's going to be a lot of differences. I think it'd be a really hard life to be concerned and upset that billions of humans are making different choices than you would. My condolences to the people who stress about the choices of strangers.

[ogdisneyfanfics]

Lima Loser: 2. Finn's Competition

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AO3

September 2nd, 2009 5:01 AM

Finn's Room at Hummel House, Lima, Ohio

   There was a knock on Finn's door, and it made him jump out of his skin. "Calm down. It's just me," Burt said, raising an eyebrow as he saw Finn holding a baseball bat and sleeping on the balcony. Kurt's at the blonde guy's house helping him with his siblings... have you been sleeping out here all weekend?"

   "Er... yeah," Finn sat up and scooted back as Burt sat across from him, "Kurt is tiny, but he can be terrifying. Also, everything still smells like hairspray, and it makes my nose angry,"

   "Yeah, he can hold a grudge," Burt knew where Finn was coming from, "I remember when I told him I wouldn't buy him any more Michael Kors bags when he was 8. He didn't talk to me for months until I gave in,"

   "Shit... he is gonna kill me, isn't he," Finn said to himself, and Burt patted him on the back.

   "I know my snarky son can be a bit hard to love at times, and you two are older now, but we are a family, Finn," Burt stated, "I know that you have control over the football team and have negotiated to bully my son at times... I know you have some pretty good leadership skills, so I am sure you can figure out a way to make this up to Kurt,"

   "I was just trying to have fun with my boys before school started. I didn't know it was a gay frat house," Finn muttered.

   "I know that," Burt said, and it looked like he was debating what to say. "Kurt, I know he seems like he is strong... well, mentally strong, but he isn't," Burt explained. "I need you to look after him at school, not just negotiate, but you need to protect him from any bullies,"

   "I will try, but he seems to have accepted it. I don't bother him,"  Finn shrugged,

   "Don't tell him I told you this... but after he was outed in freshman year, he tried to kill himself," Burt said, and Finn flinched. "He used to make himself throw up when he was chubby in middle school. I thought he was over it, but I know he doesn't eat as much as he should now.

   "Thats... horrible," Finn said, questioning his existence. He thought it was normal for those to get bullied every so often. He remembered getting bullied in elementary school for being so tall, and it helped shape him into what he is today. "Why are you telling me this? Kurt would kill you if he found out,"

   "Because he is broken... easily influenced, things affect him way more than he lets on," Burt looked down at his feet, "He is getting better at hiding things. He hasn't been the same as what happened last year,"

   "Last year,"

   "He... was roofied at a party," Burt said, and Finn widened his eyes. He was talking to someone online. He is desperate, and trouble finds him. I can't protect him all the time. It looks like that Sam kid is a good influence on him. I need you to step up, okay?" Burt said and let Finn process everything that he had just said.

   "O-Okay, Mr. Hummel..."

------- 7:52 AM

McKinnley High, Lima, Ohio

   "Kurt," Sam jogged up to Kurt at his locker and got a small smile, mainly because he was so exhausted. "Oof, did the little Tykes cause you that much trouble?"

   "Stevie had a nightmare, so it was hard to get him back to sleep," Kurt explained, running his hands through his hair and putting his books in his locker.

   "Show me to my locker?" Sam asked as he noticed some jocks eyeing Kurt. It didn't help that Kurt was wearing an all-pink ensemble today.

   "Sure, Number?"

   "405C," Sam said, and Kurt nodded to the right. Sam rested a hand on Kurt's back, which wasn't new because he always did this when they hung out. "I haven't gotten to see you much. You have done so much for me and my family," Sam said.

   "It's okay. Stacey likes me because we paint our nails together," Kurt shrugged, as he didn't like praise. However, it was nice for once to have a guy friend, he had some in the glee club, but they still stayed clear of him because they didn't want to be seen with a queer.

   "I heard that your glee club teacher got fired," Sam raised an eyebrow as Kurt had been talking about glee club all summer.

   "Yeah, I heard the Spanish teacher is filling in. Hopefully, he can get us past sectionals,"

   "Is that a good thing? I only know sports lingo,"

   "You're so straight," Kurt chuckled, and Sam laughed. "Yes, you must get through sectionals to get to nationals," Kurt explained. He started to ramble about something else and list off songs Sam should sing for his glee audition, but they spoke simultaneously. "Go ahead,"

   "Er... so I can't stop thinking about our the other night,"

   "Well, you tend to overwork what's in your little brain. You damaged so much with bleach," Kurt sighed.

   "I told you I don't do anything to my hair," Sam muttered, "I was going to offer, but then the jocks interrupted, and then you wanted to take apart your brother's limb from limb. I decided to offer to be the one to take your virginity," Sam said, and Kurt froze before choking on the air.

   "Jesus, warn me before you scream out about me being a virgin in front of the whole school," Kurt grabbed Sam's wrist to drag him into a hall where they could talk about this. "Did... you just say what I thought you said?"

   "Uh yeah... is it that weird?"

   "Yes, it's weird. For starters, you're straight," Kurt said, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at his feet. "Also, have you graduated from your side job of stripping and being a camboy to escort?"

   "Huh? No?" Sam raised an eyebrow. Also, I wouldn't ask you for money for that."

   "I don't want a pity fuck," Kurt frowned as he had complained about being single a lot.

   "It's not pity... you're my best friend, and I hope I'm yours," Sam said, and Kurt imagined Sam having a tail. "You have done so much for me, and I would like to return it a little. Losing it to someone special seems important to you,"

   "But... you're straight, right?" Kurt felt like a broken record.

   "I think so. I don't care about that thing. Like you said before, everyone can't be 100% straight or gay,"

   "You would do that for me?" Kurt raised an eyebrow.

   "I mean... fucking you wouldn't be a chore. You kinda look like a girl, and you're gorgeous," Sam said. Kurt blushed and averted his eyes... which made him flinch as Finn was a couple of steps away, looking at them like they were crazy. "Hey, Whats up, dude," Sam raised his hand for a high five, but Finn shook his head.

   "Can I speak to my stepbrother, please?" Finn crossed his arms. Sam looked at Kurt and received a nod.

   "Jesus, Kurt was right. You have a stick wedged up your ass. I hope that doesn't affect your performance at tryouts today because I am coming for your position as quarterback," Sam patted Finn on the back and winked before heading to his locker.

   "What did I just walk in on..." Finn raised an eyebrow, and Kurt rolled his eyes, "Are you two dating?"

   "Of course not, he is straight,"

   "He... did just offer to take your virginity, didn't he?" Finn asked, and Kurt pushed him and covered his mouth for him to shut up.

   "Jesus, the only thing worse than me being openly gay is being a virgin. Do you want me to die from wedgies and swirlies by shouting out my lack of exploits in bed?" Kurt snapped, and Finn softly grabbed his wrists and pulled him off.

   "Im sorry, okay," Finn said, and Kurt raised an eyebrow, "I... I am not bright and can't read minds, okay? I know you are mad at me for something, whatever it is, I am sorry, okay?" Finn said, and he could tell he was going in the right direction because Kurt looked like he was thinking and not immediately telling him to fuck off.

   "I used to be in love with you," Kurt said, and Finn raised an eyebrow, "When I was picked on for being fat, you stepped up, but then when I was outed by that asshole from another school, you stopped sticking up for me. Youre homophobic Finn,"

   "What?" Finn squeaked, "I am not... I like everyone, and everyone likes me because of it,"

   "Get over yourself, Finn." Kurt rolled his eyes and began to walk away, but he looked back. I will stop being difficult if you stop convincing yourself you're some knight in shining armor and be one of them." Kurt said, and Finn looked down at his feet, having much to think about.

--- TW: Thoughts and Mentions of Suicide,  5:29 PM

Football Field at McKinley High, Lima, Ohio

    Finn was not having his day. Well, he hasn't had his summer lately. His entire world has been turned upside down now that he has a stepdad and stepbrother. He walked around instantly with people like him, and Kurt has shown him that life isn't easy.

   "Good Job, man," Azimo patted Sam on the back, as he had crushed it at tryouts, and honestly, Finn was intimidated. After his talk with Burt, he felt a little protective over Kurt, and maybe he was new to being a big brother, but he was a little paranoid.

   Finn followed Sam to his pickup truck in the parking lot. Sam saw him in the corner of his eye as he opened the passenger seat to put on his backpack. "Hey man, I hope I gave you a run for your money," Sam smirked as he saw Finn was shaken, "Don't worry about it, dude. I don't have nearly the amount of time to be on the team,"

   "What?" Finn raised his eyebrows, "You are amazing, and we don't have that much talent on the team," Finn sighed as he felt bad for being selfish. "Are you doing this for Kurt? I know he doesn't really like sports,"

   "Er... no, Kurt is the one that talked me into trying out for football and glee," Sam said, "Kurt has been amazing to me and my family. You do know he has been babysitting my siblings, so me and my parents could pick up extra shifts because we have been living in shit motels for a year?"

   "No... I didn't know that,"

   "Without him and his financial help with our job at the pharmacy, we would still be living in that motel rm next to that meth cooker," Sam explained.

   "He did all that for you. I just thought he was selfish," Finn said, raising an eyebrow.

   "He is the furthest thing from it... I think I might be a little selfish if I join the football team. Kurt would be picking up more babysitting, and frankly... they are my siblings and not his responsibilities,"

   "Woah..." Finn's brain was hurting, "Do... you love my stepbrother?" was all he could say

   "Uh yeah, he is my little buddy," Sam said, then elaborated, "and we are just buddies. We aren't together,"

   "But you told him you would take his virginity..."

   "Yes, because he is my best friend. I would do anything for him," Sam shrugged, "Don't tell me you wouldn't do anything for your best friend,"

   "I mean... yeah, but not that, I am not gay..."

   "Neither am I," Sam said and smiled, looking to the right, "I have my eyes on a certain cute girl, too," Sam said, and Finn followed his look to Quinn. "Later, man," Sam waved, getting into the truck and pulling off.

   "Wait!" Finn said, but it was too late... he was far too freaked out. He had never had competition before. Yes, Quinn and Finn were done after Puck, and she had a kid together, but that didn't mean he would let some new guy swoop her up.

   Finn groaned and made his way to his car. He didn't know what was up with him. He had lost his mojo. He was off his game, and a new puppy was here taking all the spotlight. The house was only a five-minute drive from the school. 

   As he walked into the house, he heard the shower running downstairs. This gave Finn an idea. He knew Kurt wouldn't let him easily keep an eye on him, and Burt wasn't home, so he would probably talk Finn out of this, but he was going to snoop. Finn wasn't the best detective, but he discovered several things his mother wouldn't tell him from snooping.

   Finn knew Kurt would take a long time in the shower, so he prioritized his hygiene, especially since Sam had offered him what he had. Kurt didn't know what he was doing, but Sam said he would pick him up at 8, so he was prepping.

   Finn hoped that the sound of the shower would mask his clunky tiptoeing. He was 6 ft 5 in and awkward but very good at physically sneaking around. Finn walked to the desk, and thankfully, it wasn't locked. Though Finn would be able to figure out his password, 'Streisand,'

   When Finn was trying to snoop, he would always go to the history tab of his mother's computer. That's how he found out she was late on rent and sold all his sports memorabilia to help out.

   "Reddit?" Finn asked himself. He had heard about it but didn't know what it was, but it looked like Kurt was on it a lot. He tried his best to learn how to navigate it, and finally, he made it to Kurt's profile. ThatGayGleeKid, original." Finn chuckled at the name and scrolled through his posts.

   He saw that he had posted something to r/AskLGBT, 'My best friend offered to take my virginity for me.' Finn clicked on it and saw this all came about when Kurt told Sam about him being a virgin. He also said he was afraid to do it because of a previous experience, but he trusted Sam.

   Finn scrolled through his posts a little more to see that Kurt had posted to r/suicidewatch two months ago. "Shit..." Finn whispered as he read, 'I want to kill myself tonight,' as it looked like Kurt was still taking the sexual assault pretty bad... Finn felt so bad because now he knew why Kurt was so angry at him.

   Finn raised an eyebrow as he realized he no longer heard the shower. He gasped and quickly typed in the first website that came to mind. "What the hell are you doing, Frankenteen?" Kurt snapped, and Finn flinched.

   "I um," Finn winded his eyes, looking at Kurt coming out of his bathroom in a towel, looking angrier than ever. "Er," He looked down at the laptop to see that he had gone to pornhub. He widened his eyes and gulped, "Er... I haven't nutted since Quinn and I broke up. You have better internet.

   "Gross," Kurt faked gagging and stormed up to Finn, grabbing him by the earlobe and dragging him out of the room. "Don't come into my room again. Use the computer in the study,"

   "Ouch, ouch, ouch, Youre so tiny. Why do you have such a grip," Finn whimpered as he squished his face in pain, trying to get Kurt's pinching fingers off of his ear lobe. Finn accepted his fate and looked down at Kurt while walking in the direction Kurt was dragging him.

   Something dawned on Finn as he took in Kurt's porcelain skin. He noticed that he had never seen Kurt shirtless. He was always wearing long sleeves. He took this time to scan his body. Kurt was in good shape but technically underweight for even someone as tiny as him. He crossed his eyes to look at Kurt's wrists and see some suspicious-looking scars.

   "Come in my room again looking for that again. I will cut off your dick and feed it to you," Kurt said and slammed the door in Finn's face.

   Finn widened his eyes and headed to the study, "GayGleeKid-GayGleeKid-GayGleeKid," Finn whispered to himself, trying to remember the username to spy on Kurt.

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