#there is so much about these entire arc that has been upsetting and confusing

[azu1as]

dumb rotmhs fanfic idea: one hundred years after his death, tang bo reincarnates as the son of a wealthy merchant family in shaolin.

—basically, a tangcheong reincarnation ficlet set during the shaolin tournament arc 👍

»—————————–✄

Part 1 2 3

the zheng family was the leader of a wealthy merchant guild in shaolin. while they were not on the same level as the hwang, they were still influential enough for rumors to run amok.

And rumors always circled their eldest son.

zheng bo was as much of an enigma to his family as he was to those within their village. he had always been a quiet child but, one day, something happened that /changed/ the then five-year old.

the zheng family's son cried tears upon tears. he was absolutely inconsolable. his small body shook, overcome with emotions so heavy that his entire body was painfully heaving.

and when he woke up, eyes bloodshot and distant, it was as if the childhood spark in his eyes disappeared along with his tears the previous night.

off-handedly, his father noted the history book that was dropped haphazardly on the floor. several of its pages were scrunched up terribly.

the zheng partiarch mistook it as his son's desire to learn martial arts, but quickly learned the opposite as his son glared at the instructor with so much vitriol it was poisonous.

no matter how many instructors he sent his son's way, he all turned them back—uncaring whether they were decades-long martial artists, instructors of renowned ones, or teachers from the shaolin sect itself. if anything the latter worsened zheng bo's mood to the nth degree.

ashamedly and with deep regret, both the zheng patriarch and matriarch had to give up on their son as they realized the teaching him how to inherit their merchant guild was a futile endeavor. zheng bo would rather stay cooped up in his room in complete silence.

the zheng family had three more children after their eldest yet none of their births affected the dark veil of mourning that shadowed their eldest brother.

A veil that no one could ever seem to lift.

other families often asked after him, most in hopes of marrying off their daughters, but the zheng matriarch stiffly laughed them off.

they had tried once to set a play date with another merchant family's daughter, but it ended up with her in tears and vomiting with an upset stomach. the same occured with the next and third ones.

they catch zheng bo slip a vial with an unknown substance back into his sleeve and understood the lengths he would go to avoid such a thing from happening again.

many years go by and their second son inherited their family's merchant guild, much to the confusion of many.

it stirred up interest in zheng bo. rumors went around about his inability to perform his duties as the eldest son; some said that he was actually a bastard which was why he was overlooked.

former servants and workers from the zheng family whispered about the eldest son's madness and how his mania could not be cured by even the best of doctors and healers.

but as with all rumors and public interest, it died down when no new information sprung forth.

zheng bo was simply a crazy son who was better kept within the walls of the zheng estate than be let out for fear of what his madness would lead him to do.

when the shaolin tournament began with warriors and fighters from the ten great sects and other notable families, the zheng patriarch tried to urge zheng bo to attend and simply watch the battles with the rest of the family.

zheng bo scoffed at him.

their second son placed a comforting hand on his father's shoulders and suggested that they just let him be, "the winner has already been decided. i'm sure eldest brother would end up bored."

but the world had a funny sense of irony.

mount hua was the competition's dark horse. they were nigh unstoppable, flicking away their opponent's swords with absolute ease and twisiting around them as if they were falling petals themselves. it was an unexpected but amazing start to the competition.

as the finals approached, discussion about the upcoming fight between mount hua's divine dragon and shaolin's hye yeon run rampant outside of shaolin's walls. inside the zheng estate, no one could stop talking about the unexpected showing from what should have been a fallen sect.

tang bo, by chance, overheard the praises heeped on mount hua's divine dragon who had beaten everyone he had faced undeniably and soundly.

a part of him felt guilty that he had been too overwhelmed by his own grief and pain to even step out and check on his family and hyung's sect—especially after what he had learned about the aftermath of the battle against the demonic sect one hundred year ago.

so felt a strong wave of relief at the knowledge that mount hua had regained its footing somehow and that it was doing well enough to receive awed praise.

he felt imensely grateful towards whoever this divine dragon was because he seemed to the center of mount hua's revival.

tang bo idly wondered if chung myung was berating him in the afterlife. he asked him to take care of tang bo's family, but couldn't offer the same for his sect, he imagined that the other man would just exaggeratedly roll his eyes and tell him to start doing better then, you bastard.

and so tang bo, for the first time in a decade, knowingly chose to leave his room and approach his second-life father first.

thirty years was a long enough period to mourn, even if his heart still aches with regret.

but tang bo supposed supporting mount hua's divine dragon in the finals was a start.

[peachyfnaf]

Morning peachy!

Happy Friday, I was scrolling through your blog and literally didn't realize you were the one that made the Nexus design that lives in my head rent free. I love your art and vibes ❤️🥰❤️

I'm at the part when Old Moon is back and met Earth it's SO AWKWARD

I don't like it (not mad he's back but it's just the entire lead up has me upset)

I was watching Baby Moon/New Moon and Earth like you said and idk, I think it's really messed up how everything went down. Earth seemed to jump to a lot of conclusions about New Moon and she seemed really upset but also I don't think what New Moon said to push her away was actually that mean. Maybe it's just me?

I also didn't like how Sun went to others for help because he's so lost on what to do with New Moon and everyone was just "let's kill him"

I'm so messed up over this....

What's your thoughts on this? I want to know your observations 👀✍️

First off,

SNIFFS. bro your art and your vibes are INCREDIBLE so that compliment means a whole lot to me. tysm <3

Second off, oh-ho-ho. my friend, you've just opened up pandora's box for me. this response is gonna be a long one, let's see how incomprehensible it will get-

(Also, just so anyone who doesn't know me knows, I'm currently not watching the security breach shows due to a bit of burnout, but mostly due to me not liking the current sams arc. I'm just avoiding it for the sake of me mental health. sooo if I bring up something that has already been acknowledged/fixed/changed in canon, forgive me <3. for sams, I have knowledge up to about "brothers REUNITE in vrchat", so. just go into this knowing that lol)

OKAY. AHEM. DISCLAIMERS DONE. HERE WE GO.

Don't have much to say about "I don't like it (not mad he's back but it's just the entire lead up has me upset)" other than I 1000% agree. I (again, personally) actually don't like that he's back, mostly because the lead up to O.M's return felt very rushed, it makes O.M's original sacrifice for K.C completely in vain, and O.M has essentially just taken N.M's role in the family now that N.M is where he is now, as Nexus. it was all very frustrating to see happen.

And, whooh, I can go on and on and on about how O.M has shown many signs that he hasn't actually improved as a person/brother as much as he claims to have, but I think that harpers on spoiler territory for you Sab so I'll save that for another day dkjfhsdfsd but as for the SECOND part of your statement...

"...I think it's really messed up how everything went down. Earth seemed to jump to a lot of conclusions about New Moon and she seemed really upset but also I don't think what New Moon said to push her away was actually that mean. Maybe it's just me?"

IT 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 JUST 👏 YOU 👏

From what I can tell, actually a lot of people agree with you!!! (me included). this leads to kind of a divide in-fandom between people who are on the families side, and those who are on New Moon's/Nexus'. and from what I've seen, even the people who aren't on either side just kind of find Nexus pathetic and emo. which is 100% fair and understandable, considering his "villain arc" was built off of shakey ground lol. AND while I am 100% a N.M/Nexus apologist, that wont stop me from acknowledging that he fucked up bad in some places sdkfjhsdjfk really, everyone messed up a lot to get into the situation they are now story-wise. it's not just one sides fault, and it's draining seeing people trying to make the dilemma one of black and white morals when it is 20x more complex than that. OKAY MINI RANT OVER, ONTO WHAT YOU REFERENCED SKFJDHSDF so. did Earth have every right to be hurt by what New Moon said? oh, 100% yeah, her brother just insulted and demeaned her to her face, ofc it would hurt.

But what really confuses me is how personally she took his insults??? Right before, genuinely, right before that confrontation; Sun warned her that Moon might say something he didn't mean. he warned her, because he knows from experience.

and yet Earth took it to heart??? w. why??? she knows a lot about mental health stuff, or she's supposed to, right??? surely she'd understand that it's a very common trauma/fear response for people to become aggressive and lash out, even against those who they love and care for??? right???

And I also agree that she was jumping to conclusions, or at least misinterpreting N.M's goals/intentions/reasonings. when N.M called her "not a real therapist", she took the greatest offense to that. but. the thing is. he wasn't??? wrong???? did he say it in a rude as hell and aggressive way??? yup, no denying that! but he's not wrong.

Earth isn't a licensed therapist. she is an animatronic with downloaded protocols and processes given to her by the Creator in attempts to try and be a therapist. but she literally admits it to herself multiple times in the show that she's not a real therapist, she just does her best. so it always confused me why she took N.M's statement to heart, because genuinely, for him, her best (or more specifically, her kind and patient style of therapy) wasn't enough. which is v tragic, much ow, big pain.

At the time of being confronted, N.M was exhausted, desperate, spiraling, hallucinating, not wanting to ask for help, lying to both himself and the family, in mourning- basically holding on by a thread. so when cornered, (literally, he physically was cornered in P&S) he lashed out and said mean things to be able to push those he cared about away and "get to safety". it was wrong of him to do, yes, but considering everything we knew about how Moon's (both New and Old) react to stressful situations from prior tragedies, it was to be expected.

BUT THEN??? EVERYONE JUST KIND OF GAVE UP ON HIM AFTER THAT????? he made one mistake. one. one mistake. and suddenly everyone was all like "alright, we've got to kill him." I??? DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THAT'S A LITTLE BIT FUCKED UP??? HELLO?????

I'm not denying that N.M was becoming unstable. I'm not denying that he was becoming aggressive. he was, and that's why he needed help. he needed someone to stick by him even as he was pushing them away, to love him even at his lowest, and no one did. Imo, at least Sun has the excuse of being traumatized by Old Moon's past actions, which could explain why he was so desperate for everyone else's input, but Earth and Lunar??? Monty and Puppet too??? hello???? why the hell are you doing your brother/friend (who is doing all of this TO GET SOLAR BACK BECAUSE HE WANTS TO MAKE THEM ALL HAPPY, MIND YOU) like this???? HELLO????

And I'm also bringing up that Nexus still hasn't really. done anything??? in the current point of the story??? the worst thing he's done so far is rough up O.M a bit. but other than that, all he did was say cruel/threatening things to/about the other Celestials. he's yet to act on.. anything?? he hasn't killed a single person. and you know who have killed people?? Sun, Lunar, Solar, Old Moon, Puppet, Monty... and yet?? some people see him as an irredeemable monster???? it's. strange to me. it's obvious he's hurting, it's obvious he still cares. and he's literally killing himself to try and make the pain that comes with caring stop- isolating himself, poisoning himself, and literally ripping out his own emotions, idk guys, those don't seem like the actions of an irredeemable villain, but maybe it's just me sdkfljhsdf

As expected, this turned into an essay. BUT I'm done now, me-me needs to go take a shower gkfdjhhfgjsd thank you for the excuse to yap, Sabronda!!! I love New Moon/Nexus so much they're my ultimate cringefail. I'm certain they have an edgy Sonic OC somewhere in that evil lab of theirs

[dreamylyfe-x]

Hi, I am pretty new to the Shameless/gallavich Fandom but first I LOVE YOUR FICS

Second, I've read some of your meta and I don't know about soaps but novelas and kdramas under my belt, I agree the come and go of Noel probably saved them from drama in later seasons, they probably have had them broke at one point also, they refused to make Mickey a principal, but one of my fav parts of s4 is that he finally gets his own arc (pimp and all that apart) and I'd have loved to see him explored outside his relationship with Ian

Hey! What an amazing surprise this is!

First of all, thank you.

Second: Novelas, kdramas (I have watched my share of t-dramas -- Devil Besides Me and Meteor Garden forever), Shondaland -- they will all give you the gist of that soap experience. My feeling is that we'd get a season six where both Mickey and Ian sort of struggle to figure out their adult lives -- and that's probably a decent enough story. They likely marry them in season seven. And then they spent seasons 8-11 (or however many seasons they get to keep them) messing them up. Not because Shameless burns plot the way soaps and novelas do, but because 11 seasons is a lot. And at some point they will decide they need conflict for Gallavich and that conflict will be in the era of Gay Jesus-type writing and I'm confident we'd have been very upset by it.

I will say I don't think they so much refused to make Mickey a principle as they didn't know for sure what they wanted to do with American Mickey or where he fit into their pretty full roster. Like, there was always a chance for him, since I believe his British counterpart sticks around, but he's not filling the same role that US Shameless Mickey does. Also, shows has a budget and I can completely see how they might not have had the money for him until season three.

In season five, Cam and Noel did an interview with Buzzfeed where the EP, Etan Frankel, talks about how Mickey turned into the character he'd become at that stage, and it's clear that they don't quite know where they're going with him, and then once they shoot 1x7 they know they've got something interesting to pursue. There are a lot of moving factors in making use of that, though, including Cam's age and how ian's character balances out with his siblings in terms of storyline. Gallavich get one of the most dramatic moments of the entire series in season three and I think that's really when they shift into being primaries on the show. More and more, they start to drive fan engagement online and that sets up season four where, absolutely, Mickey vaults ahead in terms of how much the show is paying to his inner life.

Part of that is because Cam is off filming The Giver, so he's not around for half the season, but I think the other part is what Etan is talking about in the Buzzfeed article -- they just know Noel can deliver. I particularly always think about this quote, in regards to both Noel and Cam as individual performers, but also when I think about their creative partnership:

As a writer, you feel secure writing a scene knowing they're going to knock it out of the park and they'll find things you didn't necessarily intend, so you find beautiful moments. It's exciting to see those dailies come back and saying, Oh wow, that wasn't even a moment in the script, but they've made it become a moment.

I know this is why we get so much Mickey in the first half of season 4. Not just that he needs to carry the torch for Gallavich by himself but because the writer's room knows they can give him that scene with the picture in the bathroom and the performance will convey how much Mickey misses Ian. This is also clearly when he essentially becomes a point-of-view character -- and he continues to be until he leaves the show in season six. So many key moments in those two seasons, particularly around Ian's illness, rely on the audience seeing Mickey's reactions and moments of realization. His confusion in 4x12. His reaction to the suitcases. His meltdown after Ian is hospitalized, where virtually his entire reaction is silent across two episodes. It's really great that they trusted him to do that. It's one of the reasons I think the story works so well.

Anyway. I find it a little jarring, when Mickey comes back, that he isn't quite the POV character he was. It improves in season 11 and we get more Mickey-centred storylines. But I feel consistently (particularly in the late seasons when I'm really not that invested in the rest of the story) that there was a lot more room to use Mickey the way they used to. But by then, it's a different kind of show.

[group-dynamic]

Rings of Power Spoilers for Season 2 Episode 8. (Also, predictions based on book knowledge. Beware!)

So very much to talk about in this finale which I loved, but three takeaways for now:

What a testament to Charlie Vickers' performance all season that Sauron's tears after Celebrimbor's death feel so utterly layered and genuine and entirely grotesque. The immediate image that was conjured for me was a cat that's just killed the mouse they were playing with. That look you see in a cat when they touch the dead mouse with their paw a few times despondently because they're now genuinely upset and sore and sorry for themself because the mouse won't "play" with them anymore. The self deception of those tears, unwitnessed, and thus genuine, but also entirely unearned due to him being the sole arbiter of that death. Horrifying! (And Charlie revealed in his recent interview with Nerd of the Rings that he's fully aware that early draft Sauron was essentially a cat so we keep winning on this metaphor, haha)

2. The absolutely beautiful little moment we got with Theo and Isildur made me even more certain that Theo will grow up to be the king who betrays his oath and doesn't show up to fight against Sauron in the last alliance, leading to him being cursed by Isildur. And it's absolutely going to shatter my heart. Theo, the son of a healer and thus, as Aragorn will one day express, perfectly aligned with the role of a king. Theo whose father is unknown in a country looking for the king they were promised. Theo who is theoretically (no pun intended lol) not blessed with long life like the Numenoreans--which means Isildur would see him grow up and pass him in visual age and grow into his role. The deeply personal nature of a curse between old friends. I will not survive it if that is Theo's destiny. These are my sons.

3. I truly loved how well everything wove beautifully into the thematic threads of this story. I was deeply moved all episode. Except. . . okay, was anyone else really baffled by the imagery in the last moments? It was so clear that Galadriel's arc and the story as a whole was coming to a close on this idea of choosing to act as a shield (protect, defend, don't use your children as warriors to seek revenge, choose togetherness and healing, not singular acts, don't make war heedlessly, gather strength together). I mean, Galadriel has been fighting over giving up her sword (dagger) and all it represents for ages, and in that last moment in future Rivendell of all places, a place of healing and rest, with a battered collection of wounded veterans and refugees and non-combatants and children, Gil Galad raises his sword??? and the gathered elves also raise any weapons they have??? And they're making battle cries??? I . . . was . . . confused, lol. Was I interpreting this incorrectly? I mean, of course the free peoples of Middle Earth should fight back against a powerful enemy, no matter how small they are or how impossible the odds seem (i.e. Durin v. Balrog), but. . . . I felt like that was a little out of sync with every other piece of imagery and message that the elves were working through this season. . . This was their moment to realize the rings were not a weapon in their hands but a shield and instead it bordered on disturbing for me. . . that's how jarring that last shot felt. . It didn't ruin the episode for me or anything, but I was . . . ????

(I think Galadriel being a visual light for the elves works. I think Gil Galad and the gang drawing swords together to make a promise to defend the vulnerable would have worked, but this felt like a real mix of metaphors here. Maybe there was some debate on set about which way to go and they compromised on a mix of imagery. )

[suffarustuffaru]

why otto is so pissed off at subaru (arc 8 ch 24)

hello im otto posting Again but im writing this in an attempt to understand this subject myself (and totally not as a reference for later…) and also bc some people in the fandom seemed to be confused on Why ottos so angry at the moment. but i really think the key reason why hes so mad at subaru right now comes from this: otto treasures the people he cares about far above anyone else—to the point where if he needs to make sacrifices, he absolutely will because the people he cares about (his friends in emilia camp) go First before everyone else in his mind.

like. thats ottos key reason for everything hes been doing in arc 8. all his other reasoning branches off from that—like him wanting to leave vollachia for dead and only take the people his camp cares about. otto sees the path that will keep his camp safest—ie just going into vollachia to rescue rem and subaru and then immediately getting out—and he chooses that rather than subaru and emilias more noble approach of refusing to leave vollachia and its population of 50 million people to die. otto himself is aware that his own strategy is Callous, especially after roswaal told him in chapter 24 that he agrees with ottos proposed strategy of just leaving vollachia. but otto thinks that its 1. entirely necessary and 2. he Knows that thats the optimal way to keep the emilia camp safe.

he knows that staying in vollachia and helping vincent is a massive risk to his whole camp. otto being a merchant values equivalent exchange and Hates too much cost, which is On Top of otto knowing that going out of their way to help vollachia is risking the entire emilia camp’s lives. but otto Knows subaru and emilia. and he knows that subaru and emilia are idealists at heart that will do everything they can to save Everyone, which is why despite being Extremely Unhappy about all of this, otto plays hard to get so vincent is the one who asks for their help. that way, at least the decision to help vollachia looks more like accepting the request of vollachias emperor and adding more accomplishments under their belt and Less Like just going out of their way to vollachia for no benefit at all.

otto valuing his camp above everything else is also why he creates distance between himself and julius and anastasia and emphasizes that theyre enemies. for otto, its Absolutely the emilia camp above everyone else.

then theres the whole louis situation. otto, of course, knows that subaru cares about louis Despite everything shes done.

so. essentially. i think ottos extremely pissed about subaru always going out of his way to try and be a hero because otto knows this comes at a Detriment to subaru (bc otto CARES about subaru!!! he knows subaru is WAY too selfless and forgiving and he cant agree with that!!!) and otto worries for the cost of subarus decisions, especially with the current conflict regarding louis. otto has accepted that, unlike the majority of his camp, that he has to be the Bad Guy. because in ottos mind, no one else in his camp is going to be bold enough to be the ruthless morally questionable one. he thinks its 100% necessary to play this role to minimize the costs and threats to his camp.

which is why he hasnt told anyone, despite knowing this from his dp, that louis/spica is innocent.

hes fully aware that—even though hes manipulating his own camp—louis will be more likely to be eliminated if he keeps quiet about the fact that she has Zero malice. louis being eliminated means one less threat to his camp. and otto KNOWS that subaru cares about louis and is upset at the idea of her dying (which is at least partly why otto snapped at julius in chapter 23!!), but ottos decided that killing louis comes at a far less cost than keeping her alive. because keeping her alive means dealing with the consequences of the emilia camp calling her an ally and rem and subaru recognizing her as their daughter when louis has affected So Many people. otto knows this and wants to prevent it at all costs.

otto wants her dead for these reasons. otto figures that he has to be the one walking in darkness bc he not only wants to help emilia and subaru and preserve their idealism (bc he Knows that its important to them!! its who they are at heart and he cares about them in turn bc of their kindness and goodness!!!), but otto also wants to help by being the necessary evil. because someone has to.

that, of course, wont stop otto from being pissed at subarus decisions. this also, of course, wont stop subaru from being pissed if he ever finds out otto withheld the fact that he knows louis is 100% innocent just so he can make sure that 1. the rest of emilia camp stays suspicious of louis and 2. louis gets killed. i really do think ottos questionable decisions will eventually catch up to him—because he stands in direct opposition to everything subaru stands for.

subaru wants to save everyone. he wants to have it all, even if it costs him. otto, meanwhile, chooses only who he cares about because hes not idealistic enough to believe he can have everything, and he believes that sacrifices have to be made even if its cruel. and he knows that subaru cant do that, but it still angers him because hes trying to keep subaru safe while subaru insists on trying to accomplish everything without sacrificing anyone. otto doesnt think its possible at all. but otto knows its not in subarus nature to be pragmatic.

which is why otto takes A Lot of the things subaru has been doing in arc 8 Extremely Personally. because its Very personal for otto.

[atthebell]

this may become a sort of rant but i realised after reading your post about qcellbit that I kinda wish purgatory wasn't canon to the events of the qsmp ... like I thought purgatory would be The Event that brings everyone's individual lore together by forcing them to work together to save the eggs while also making them confront each characters association with the federation... which is why its called purgatory.

but the purgatory we got was lowkey minecraft punishment for 2 weeks. It was fun to watch! I just wish none of it was canon/had anything to do with the disappearance of the eggs

who are the eye workers? hows this relevant to everything we previously knew about the island? i wanna know if the eggs are real and alive outside the island but instead we got egg attacks with these eye fuckers which was happening with the codes anyway. sooo many unanswered questions and purgatory brought even more confusion

you are preaching to the choir nonnie lmao i don't want to be overly negative on here so ive tried to keep my complaining to a minimum but narratively i hated purgatory and yes it felt like two weeks of pure punishment. there were little to no rp opportunities, the lack of player agency was exhausting, and it felt like they were playtesting an event on server members rather than creating an event that would work for lore and be a fun event itself. two weeks was far too long, what does this have to do with the regular island, why did it have to interrupt so many people's lore, why the actual hell did cucurucho save the eggs and not the players (this one ill give some grace to bc so many people were on break and frankly i just needed the eggs back period. but it is one of the most disappointing story choices for me). i liked people getting to play together in new ways, but i wish it hadn't been so long and had been a non-canonical event in the first place. similar to the eggs going missing, i think the rp that has come out of it has been brilliant, but i think it did not need to happen this way.

for a while now it feels like players are no longer the main characters and in an attempt to make overarching lore make more sense and be more cohesive, there's been too much focus on federation npcs and the eye and cucurevil-- there's too many parties at play, and none of them should be the actual focus of the story. this is livestreamed roleplay. the server members should be the main characters. it is less entertaining and less meaningful narratively otherwise. i wish players had more agency again and there were more small, character focused bits of lore going on that weren't so focused on making sure everything is interconnected. i DO have faith that this could be the case again, i there's just been a rough patch for a bit that hopefully gets better.

also listen i do not call myself a cellbit main for a reason i watch a lot of different people and i think that's a better way to go at this type of medium. however, i think im allowed to acknowledge that for my preferred POV, which is cellbit, this has been torture. ive been avoiding talking about it because it felt like idk selfish or whatever or like I'm whining on his behalf which i don't need to do, but i think it's fair to be upset by how much this has fucked his lore because as a viewer it's been disappointing as hell (and not just for him but for other RP & investigation focused people). they helped him plan out the whole murder spree arc that was going somewhere before purgatory and then interrupted it entirely, they took away his best friend who he, atp, spends most of his time either building or investigating with and doesn't really want to play without, they did not provide any clues for finding the eggs nor any kind of investigation (until the minimes which. i don't need to tell you how that went but i can assure you it was the most negative cellbit has ever been about the server and he was still very polite about it).

i know he talked about the server moving from investigation centered storytelling to more pvp/conflict-centered storytelling, but, frankly, i don't think that's working out, especially not for him. and considering the break he's been on in part due to fatigue from purgatory i think this whole period of time has just not worked for what he wants to do with his character. i have faith he'll make it work, and i think the admin team is really good at addressing players' needs (especially cellbit who will just tell them all the stuff he wants), so i have faith in them as well. it's just frustrating considering how much it has sucked to be a qcellbit viewer for the last. idk two months if im being generous four if im not. it's hard bc im not a person who deals in idealism so i don't want to be like "i wish it all had never happened from this exact point" and i do like some of things that have come from rp post-eggs disappearing and even during and post-purgatory. so idk where im going with this anymore anyway i think there are ways to go about fixing this and making the narrative less clunky and focused on players again and allow for individual lore again, i just wish that that had remained the case continuously. sorry for the rant ill try to tag this appropriately

[misc-obeyme]

Okay I'm seeing a lot of Solomon discussion on here lately and while I wasn't originally going to say anything, I kind of feel like I should since I'm obviously a Solomon enjoyer. So if nothing else, this is just how I personally feel about it all, in case anybody was wondering. In the end, these are fictional characters and I have no problem with people hating or loving or having a different opinion on any of them!

Inevitably this is going to have NB spoilers.

Let me begin by saying that I do not trust NB Solomon at all.

I think all of my Solomon love is carried over from the OG game. I fell in love with him in season 3 when he really took on the role of being MC's teacher.

In the OG (I think it might have been in season 3, but I can't remember exactly), Solomon straight up says that he used to see demons as tools. And the demons we know who have a pact with him (Barbatos and Asmo) are aware of this. I think the way he made his pact with Asmo initially is part of why all the demons see him as shady - they still call him this throughout most of the OG. One of Barbatos's home screen dialogues is how you should watch out for Solomon.

Solomon often talks about how alone he's been for most of his long life. I was always under the impression that he only recently came to the Devildom in the OG game for the exchange program. He never once mentioned Cocytus Hall or said anything about having lived there before. His dealings with demons always seemed to happen in the human world.

And in the OG, he also talks about how he used to be alone all the time, but now he feels like he's found friends and even family. Even in the first couple of seasons of the OG, I felt like he didn't see the angels and demons as friends/family so much as just acquaintances. But by the end, he has realized how much they all mean to him. Not just MC, but everybody. This was part of his OG character arc.

Then here we are in Nightbringer where he suddenly has known Diavolo for a long time, has an actual mansion in the Devildom, and is well known for having tried to fight the entire Devildom at one point. It's suspicious that he's the only one Barbatos sent back from our present timeline. Do I really believe that none of the brothers would want to go, too? Is the implication that Barbatos only did this for Solomon because of their pact? Do we really think that Diavolo wouldn't ask Barbatos to use his powers for this reason?

I don't know for sure, but it does seem a little unlikely to me.

And then we have NB Solomon being incredibly soft and sweet with MC, but clearly still using demons as tools. Does he really not remember why Barbatos is mad at him? Or is it that what he did was something that MC would find upsetting, so he pretends he can't remember?

This is a huge part of why I believe that the Solomon we're dealing with is actually past Solomon. That he somehow knew that MC was going to be brought back to the past by Nightbringer. He obviously knows Nightbringer and straight up talks to him, so it's easy for me to believe that he somehow found out what Nightbringer was up to.

Because yes, Nightbringer Solomon is off from the OG. He's not the same character in a lot of ways. It's confusing and while I don't want him to be an enemy, I want it to make sense too. And to me, this being a different version of him is the only one that makes sense.

You can read more about my theory in this post: past Solomon theory

Anyway, this is just my thoughts on the topic. All the fics I write about NB Solomon are with the assumption that he doesn't have ulterior motives, but that doesn't mean that's what I actually think is happening. I absolutely find him questionable at best and I don't think he is who he seems to be.

I think the only way they could make this okay at this point is to have MC be the reason Solomon realizes that demons are more than tools and that he doesn't have to side with humanity against them.

Otherwise, it doesn't make sense with how OG Solomon acted.

I guess we'll see! But I totally get why some people don't like him. I'm just hoping they go somewhere with the story that makes sense and doesn't just change him into a completely different character from the OG.

[h3llh0und64]

so the first part of the finale came out and it's... Not great.

honestly, a 5/10. The pacing was so off and rushed. All exciting interactings were quick and with no real substance. When it comes to character writing they were also off?

Here, let me go scene by scene.

HEAVY SPOILER WARNING BTW!

The beginning of the episode:

What the balls. That was pretty good and giving an explanation as to why cobs has only one egg and how the other got lost while also not showing what cobs has done with the egg he has.

The real beginning;

(Note; all scenes have the problem of not enough build up or screen time.)

1, the introduction into the party:

- This scene is pretty well done, can't see hpw it could be better

2, suitcase seeing balloon again:

n- I am happy for their return to each other, but as stated before, nickel and balloon are a

 - This scene was well done, just upset about acknowledging season three and everything that happened with nickel and balloon. Suitcase tried so hard to make them at least tolerate each other, only for them to just suddenly become besties.

3, soap and mic, then knife:

- I am INCREDIBLY happy to see them getting to talk and be friends again. 

- Knife walking by and mic calling out and giving them a high-five and friendship was utterly delightful and well done.

4, Trophy and knife:

- here's where problems arise. 

- Knife already had his arc about not being ashamed of who he is and his dora doll, so talking to trophy of all people shouldn't convince him otherwise. If anything, Knife would actively do the OPPOSITE of whatever trophy says. So to suddenly imply that trophy made knife insecure is fucking wild. Last episode he was justifying murder and cannibalism!

- Trophy saying how knife has gone softer also doesn't make sense given knife justifying murder and not having changed much throughout the show. If he has changed, it's been slow and steady and because he wants to do better.

- I do vaguely enjoy the idea of trophy accepting the idea that knife should hate him and want to harm him, knowing what he did was bad and wanting knife to be upset as he deserves.

5, suitcase and balloon again, this time with nickel and soon fan, cabby, candle and goo.

- I don't even wanna talk about it.

- Suitcase deserves to be upset and confused that season three happened. I'm also upset it happened.

- One enjoyable thing was seeing the season three guys in the season two art style.

6, mephone hiding from cobs call and encountering tissues.

- I like how tissues wasn't at the party, and the added detail and pill containers.

7, taco, meepad, and finally, pickle.

- Pickle was fantastic in this scene and this wjole scene was probably the best written.

- "Then I guess it wasn't all an act. Maybe you really are stupid." Was the best line in the entire episode.

6, again. We're back with mephone and tissues.

- kind of fun to see tissues get more character other than his sickness.

Section 2: The beginning of the end.

1, body discovery;

- error with the bowties missing. That or mepad just took theirs off.

- Taco crying over pickle was a good way to add even more to her regret and remorse, watching him die and never getting him to hear her out.

2, the couch of finalists;

- I enjoy Knife and suitcase being friends, her going to him for comfort and support, to vent about how stupid it is that nickel and balloon are friends.

The banger intro is back!

3, the plan;

- Knife was so proud of suitcase for commiting thievery.

- Of course mephone is using this as a challenge, what else did we expect?

4, the noise;

- "I... Know that sound anywhere." Was really good.

- payjay the married Couple...

- Lightbulb avoiding problems and trying to keep everyone happy despite the circumstances.

5, up up and away;

- More knife and suitcase being friends.

6, The return to meple.

- The song is honestly well done and a genuine banger.

- Knife being cornered and hesitating, only to think about pickles dead body was short and I wish more explored and expanded upon, but does also work as a quick memory of what's at stake.

- Adding the the knife thing, adding his punce to the lyrics of "I don't care" was a lovely touch.

7, back to the hotel.

- soap and muc nodding at their child cherries.

- TROPHY AND PAPPER TALKING!? I didn't notice this the first time and honestly I'm here for it. I want trophy salt and pepper to shit talk people.

8, Divorce.

- Their conversation was such a nice topic and question that would've been fantastic to explore, but instead Oj fucking dies and doesn't acknowledge it even before he died. Speaking of that, the idea of paper's last talk with his husband being an argument and then watching him fucking die? A fantastic topic that they will not explore, I garentee it. And then paper's issues will just be glossed over when Oj comes back.

9, Purgatory mansion.

- fan continues to carry the season. Funny fan man.

- why are they not freaking out about Ghost bow?

- Marshmallow! Apple has horsie

10, a memory that wasn't mine.

- 3GS, being suddenly conscious and aware as apposed to when we saw him in mephones memory. Either the memory is off or something happened in between. Why is 3GS even alive still? Shouldn't the battery be depleted after all this time? He didn't boot up like last time. 

- Suitcase comforting 3GS was nice.

- "Please... Don't." In response to coming back was so interesting.

11, a party without a host.

- Nickel is also dead in fron of baseball.

- Mic frantically looking around for soap was heart wrenching.

12, The big headed puppeteer pulling the strings. The big reveal.

-  Knife: "The big tough guy act isn't fooling anyone."

Suitcase: "And he would know!"

Knife: "Yeah I would- what?"

Good bit.

- Cobs Talking down to mephone, calling him a kid and like he's five is such a nice detail.

13, The big reveal.

- This was a fantastic scene. As you can sew from my notes slowly getting shorter, the episode slowly got better.

- I ain't saying what the reveal is.

Final thoughts!

Wow. It was paced weird and rushed heavily. So much in twentyeight minutes. Really can take away from the hard hitting scenes. Despite this, i still think the episode was well done and does deserve praise. This isn't some big studio, this is a small group working on a passion project that became bigger and more lore heavy than the possibly imagined. They didn't plan to go this long or think this far ahead. Things happen on the fly. There are errors in consistency. It's going to happen. I cannot expect perfection, but I still can expect better than what we got. When things went slower, things went better. Build up is insanely important.

Anyways, thanks for reading this bullshit.

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 8-11 author notes

I tried keeping the ARR arc as short and snappy as possible, just get some technical art xp and set the table for the following chapters, still I ended up drawing 80+ pages (160+ full color pics) and writing three of these breakdown posts. If you missed the first two: episodes 1-3 and 4-7.

Starting with a note on the entire chapter: it’s called “found and lost” for, obviously, ViviRaha finding and losing each other, forming an X as they get a small taste of what they could’ve been as lovers, then drifting apart, but also Raha finding his purpose while losing his life, and Vivi losing the control over his life as his WoL career picks up. The next time we see him in the ShB arc, he’s lost, so fucking lost.

Now, the scene that predictably created the most confusion.

Possibly their first ever mind game that didn’t go well :’>

It’s easy to conclude that Vivi rejects Raha because he’s a virgin. An inelegantly lying virgin. While yes Vivi’s just being Vivi here, he doesn’t wanna deal with what looks like a mess of emotions in this cabboy, and he isn’t fond of the concept of lying (while not important here, this could be one of his few redeeming qualities). Had Raha been open and upfront, he would’ve acted differently. Maybe. He doesn’t know much about Raha at this point, but the awkwardness and insincerity are enough to discourage him, also he genuinely isn’t in the habit of ruining people’s first times. He may be a slut but he has a semblance of honor x’D So, in a way, he protects Raha from himself.

Sometimes kisses just happen. Without confessions or feelings. They just indulged in a moment and now? What now? Vivi doesn’t think too hard about it since it’s a regular occurence for him, Raha, being himself, spends every moment obsessing over this spark. His WoL, his WoL, his WoL, his WoL?

Ironically, this’s the last time we see them talk to each other.

They must’ve kept talking offscreen, but there’s no speech bubbles anymore until the very end of this chapter. Drifting further apart.

Raha realizes that Vivi's just fine without him. He's not WITH the WoL.

His colors naturally stand out, I cranked them even further up to make him feel out of place. Especially that teal eye, yeah.

*leans into the mic* it’s fucken wimdy

Just a visual parallel without much meaning. He has a portable edgy shadow with him at all times.

Another parallel C: Turns are tabling, Vivi may not be in love yet, but he’s definitely impressed by Raha’s singing, and realizing that there's more to him than just the gremlin he knows. This's his first ever encounter of the serious Raha.

His own expressions are vastly different when he's alone, not having to perform for anybody.

Something something facing the darkness and the light :> ..And away from each other. Yeah. Whoops.

A juxtaposition of their attitudes: a silly dreamer and a realist/doubter.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alright, there must be more to this, eh?

Lack of communication and mutual insincerity/dishonesty. Vivi simply mirrors Raha.

Vivi's upset that this guy has basically chosen death over him. He's thrown off by the sudden change in Raha's demeanor, it shocks him into turning on his brain after a long while, alas it's too late.

The kbye could be expanded into "are you really throwing your life away? I was just beginning to get into you, thought it was mutual, where did that go? You’re choosing some destiny bs over the cool me? Screw you too then, here's something to hopefully make this uncalled-for moment unpleasant for you as well".

This's his inner monologue. He has to come up with something impactful on the spot, therefore he spits out the kbye. Well, considering the canon ShB events, if he was looking to make an impact, I daresay he succeeded :’D

Honestly I commend his ability to assess the situation and react/improvise within seconds, he did it in this scene and now again.

Of course this doesn’t automatically excuse his shitty behavior, as someone rightfully exclaimed, “Vivi how could you?!” - damned I be if this line isn’t Fragments in a nutshell x’D

I’ll always explain but never defend any of his actions.

MELTDOOOOOOOOWN \o/ He’s just so entertaining to watch when he’s agitated. I may hc him and Raha with british voices but Vivi’s body language turns him into a bit of an italian.

Raha’s being an asshole to Vivi? Debatable. To himself? Absolutely. Hence Vivi’s so upset. He rarely if ever raises his voice, this here’s one of the very few instances.

Earlier today, I posted a ficlet exploring Raha’s inner world after sealing the Tower and before putting himself to sleep. This event’s treated as suicide by everyone in Fragments.

Can’t believe the ARR arc’s over, and that it’s been half a year. I had some time to process the fact. Finally I can return to the “current” ViviRaha zone in my brain, that makes me so happy. ARR idiocy was fun to make but I live for the ShB idiocy. I’m gonna indulge SO HARD. Settle in for years of ShB fanservice. Here, have the chapter 2 cover wip :>

[whitleyschn33]

RWBY V9 E08 Liveblog

I’m early again and already spoiled by the thumbnail, thanks a lot Crunchyroll (using the free trial until my usual sites fix themselves.)

- Another vague content warning, content warning are only useful if they warn about the actual content, RT. (It’s suicide/sucidial actions AGAIN just say suicide for fuck’s sake)

- Little, when have you ever actually guided the girls anywhere?

- I like that Ruby is breaking, but I wish the tone wasn’t quite so... grumbly? Like, the tone of voice sounds more petulant than upset, if that makes sense.

- Well... I do hope Little does actually knows the way back to the village, otherwise Ruby just left them there to die acres away from their home.

- ...What is this transition? It’s so abrupt, Ruby just arrives at the house. No shots of her reaction to her surroundings, no real look at what this acre looks like, no reaction to the house “appearing” (I say that as if it wasn’t just there, like the camera didn’t just cut to it without any establishing shot). This moment just feels so rushed, why?

- Is that the Roman Holiday cover art? And I’m assuming the little girl is Neo, so is her hair and eyes not natural, or did she unlock her semblance incredibly young?

- Hi Roman, by the way

- And all that hesitation Ruby was showing about using her weapon before? Gone. Could just be instinct overriding the trauma, it’s different being spooked into a fight vs rushing into one, but whatever.

- Can Neo just make her illusions speak now? Why?

- Even dead, Roman steals the show. Man, I’ve missed him.

- Very generic “hey, maybe Ruby’s cracking under stress” talk

- She... apparently didn’t walk that far.

- Is this entire house made by Neo? The chandelier shattering seems to suggest that, but the house stays later in the episode implying that it’s not.

- And like... has Neo been around enough to know about all of this? About Pyrrha, Ozpin, Clover, Ironwood? This is an incredibly cathartic scene (and once again I wish we could have gotten to all of this earlier), I’m very much enjoy Penny’s and Ironwood’s lines, but I’m confused on just how Neo is doing it.

- ....Dead Oscar illusion is kinda sick, nice job animators, but this poor boy can’t catch a break even when not actually here.

- Hey, they remembered Qrow existed! 

- Good kitty with laser beams.

- ...Not good kitty. Darn it, Robbie Daymond. And “my maker”, is this how we’re going to tie this back to the main Remnant plot, because his maker can’t be Alyx or Lewis (I’m settling on this spelling because I finally got it through my dense skull that it’s a reference to Lewis Carroll, which makes me wonder if it was actually Lewis that made it out and Alyx that never came back, as the twist), so maybe it’s Ozma or the God of Light?

- Nice effort, Little - I do enjoy when they actually try to help in whatever ways they can, like with the doll at the auction.

-...So, will Little ascend, or because Neo killed them, are they dead dead?

-These reactions are so incredibly flat. If you’re going to do this, go all out with the team’s reactions, don’t just have them gasp and stare. They’d be doing so well with the facial expressions on Ruby, why cheap out here?

-Ew. Also, he’s alway gone in through the heart, why the mouth now?

-Oh yeah, wasn’t one of the theories of Neo’s fairy tale illusion the Cheshire Cat? Well, that’s confirmed now in horrific fashion.

Once again, I am asking why couldn’t we have cut out the fluff and gotten to this point sooner? It makes no sense that Neo is suddenly strong enough to do this, but at least it’s interesting and furthering Ruby’s character and arc along, and with only two episodes left and so much to deal with, this finale is going to feel rushed as all get out, I’m afraid.

[igneouswyvern]

After nearly two and a half years of being completely obsessed with Zestiria after I beat it way back in July of 2021 I finally decided to go back and watch the anime, Zestiria the X and, yeah I have some thoughts

I'm gonna start with the good. Definitely the best part was getting to see Rose and Alisha interact with each other, and Dezel and Zavied interact as well, since they were never in the party at the same time in the game. The anime format also did a lot of good for both Alisha and Zavied's characters (I'm so glad Zavied is something besides "the horny guy" now). Really the story works a lot better with the full party of 8 together towards the end.

The anime also gave me the one thing Tales games never give me, which is a full proper ending, and by that I mean showing us exactly what happened to the world after the final battle was won. I've never been very good at using my imagination when it comes to a peaceful and normal world so it was nice to see that fleshed out. While unrealistic I am also glad Sorey came back within Rose and Alisha's lifetimes because that always kinda bugged me in the game

Using Berseria as a legend in Zestiria was pretty cool considering they didn't get to do that in the game since it came out first. I thought it worked really well. However I am very confused on why they decided to animate the first three hours of post-prologue Berseria smack dab in the middle of the Zestiria plotline and just...never return to it. I don't know why they decided to do that, it didn't fit at all and the whole time I was just wondering if or when they were ever gonna come back to it. And if they were gonna do it for context's sake shouldn't they have, I don't know, jumped ahead to some part where Velvet actually fights Artorius?? It just felt so strange to me.

Onto some more bad: Why the hell did they make Maltran a good guy. She worked just fine as a twist villain. They just cut that entirely for no reason??

And there's one particular huge thing that they just completely changed. One of the most interesting things to me about Zestiria's narrative was the underlying theme that "you can't save everyone." From "everyone knows you can't purify a dragon" to that first moment in Pendrago when they encounter a hellion so strong that the only way to quell its malevolence is to outright kill it, leading all the way up to the finale of the game where Sorey has to kill Heldalf because he can't be purified. They learn over and over again that malevolence has consequences, and that the Shepherd's journey isn't without sacrifice, and that sometimes taking a life is the only way to save that many more.

And Zestiria the X just throws that whole concept out the window?????

First they straight up replaced the corrupted church lady in Pendrago with something totally different and far less impactful, just a corpse that can be purified. And then they go and purify a real dragon??? You can't just do that????? And of course that means they won't kill Heldalf either. He ends up unrealistically purified as well. It just bugs me so much. It goes against everything the original game wanted to set up. Sure it gave us a happier ending but we don't always need a perfectly happy ending! Life is full of heartache and tragedy and sacrifices, and the original Zestiria showed that in a really neat way. And the anime just goes and tosses all of it out the window. It just...it makes me really upset. Tbh the Pendrago sequence is one of my favorite moments in the game, and the dramatic sequence where you kill Heldalf is another favorite, and I was really excited to see those in anime form. And instead they just got binned entirely. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined :(

And for that matter they also kind of completely got rid of Sorey's character arc, as meager as it may have been. One of my biggest gripes with Zestiria the game is that Sorey is just too perfect a guy, he's too pure and innocent and never really makes mistakes and the game had opportunities to allow him to do that but were too scared to actually commit to it. But despite that, Sorey still has a character arc of some sort, mainly in what I mentioned above where he has to accept that sacrifices are inevitable but in some other ways too. Meanwhile the anime just removes all of that. Sorey pretty much never struggles, except maybe in matters of strength in the beginning you know, and he always gets his way--he never has to make a sacrifice and always saves everyone. All this culminating in The X Sorey being somehow even more flawless and perfect and static than game Sorey. And it's really disappointing to see because I was really hoping to get a more fleshed out Sorey as a result of the anime format.

Something pretty insignificant that bugged me was the fact that they pretty much never got to explore ruins or old temples or whatever else. The game's gameplay loop was pretty much go to a town, deal with some political stuff/watch some cutscenes, go to a ruin or temple and fight a boss, back to the town. Which worked really well for a game setting, but I recognize doesn't work as well in an anime. However, what the anime decided to do was completely cut out any ruins exploration and focus exclusively on the political conflict in the towns. I see why they did this, don't get me wrong, but I just can't help that it doesn't really feel like Zestiria when Sorey and Mikleo aren't nerding out over random stuff in ruins, you know? All that political stuff started to get really boring after a bit. And like so much of the game's story and lore takes place in those dungeons, so it just feels so odd to have them completely removed.

Pretty minor thing but I felt like they kind of messed up Lailah's character. Her whole thing in the game is that she knows everything about the Shepherd's journey but she's not allowed to talk about it because of her oath, so she does the whole inconspicuous whistling and deflecting to other topics the whole time. And I kind of liked it because she looks totally airheaded but it isn't true, she knows a lot she just can't tell us. But in the anime it felt like Lailah didn't know all that much about the whole situation, like she seemed just as surprised as the rest of the party in a lot of scenes. And I feel like that just kind of took all the life out of her character. She was already kind of generic in the game and taking away the one thing that made her interesting just made her even worse.

Okay I'm starting to make it sound like I hate Zestiria the X, I don't. I think I am just a huge purist when it comes to the original game and the anime did a lot of things contradictory to the game that I didn't like very much. But it's okay it was still a good anime and worth watching

It didn't really help me like my favorite characters (Sorey, Mikleo, and Edna) even more, but it did help bring the characters I was lukewarm about (Alisha, Rose, Zavied) about up to par with the original three in terms of how much I liked them, so that's nice. (Lailah and Dezel were more interesting in the game anyway.) I think if you took The X Alisha, Rose, and Zavied, and put them into the game's narrative, you'd have a pretty solid experience in total.

[holymolyineedtherapy]

YALL READY FOR MY END OF THE YEAR TIER LIST FOR THE TOP 5 HYPERFIXATIONS I HAD THIS YEAR??? LETS GOOOOOO

Honorary Mentions

Taylor Swift

Jujutsu Kaisen

Frieren

Demon Slayer

5: FNaF

We got a lot of fnaf content this year and I was obsessed with it. So obsessed, that I was to invested in consuming this content that I hardly ever posted about it.

I love this franchise so much. I've been invested in the lore, games, books, and YouTube videos since it came out. I love everything about this franchise.

4: One Piece

As a long time One Piece fan, I gotta say my burn out for this anime was coming. Then I heard about the Netflix adaptation and that they were crunching the entire East Blue Arcs into 8 episodes... I was scared.

Then I watched it and it reignited my fire for this. I even started rewatching the anime so I knew what was next to come. Not only that, but my sister got into the show cause of the live action and we're watching it together.

Not only that, but we also got to the end of the Wano Arc! One Piece's longest arc yet and I loved every second of it. They really turned up everything for this arc and I am here for it.

WE ALSO GOT THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE REMAKE ANIME BY WIT STUDIOS!! I am so hyped for this. To see the story be told with better pacing, less filler, and maybe they can make Skypia bearable to watch /j.

3: Fionna and Cake

I was so ready for this show. When I learned about it I was so confused. Like, yall are making a spin off about filler episodes??

I always loved Fionna and Cake so I wasn't upset but confused. Then I watched it and fell in love. Seeing all the characters and where they are now after the almost end of the world and then falling in love with the new characters.

Everything about this show was amazing to me and i cannot wait for season 2.

2: Heartstopper

Those who know me know that I am obsessed with Heartstopper and the Osemanverse as a whole. These characters are so amazing to me and I love all of them so much.

We got season 2 of Heartstopper out on Netflix and we also got the release of volume 5! Season 3 completed its filming and we got to see the actor playing Michael Holden! Heartstopper fans have been feasting this year.

Nick and Charlie are some of my favorite characters of all time and I cannot wait to see where this goes in the future.

1: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Let's be honest, if you didn't expect this to be number one then you don't know me lol. Tmnt is the whole reason I started this blog so I could freely blab about my hyperfixations without fear.

And the tmnt community has been fed this year with content. Not only did we get the new tmnt movie (WHICH WAS INCREDIBLE AND AMAZING AND I LOVED IT SM) but we also have some of the best aus and fanfictions out there in my opinion. Tmnt has taken over tumblr for the past couple years and it's been crazy. So, I would like to share my favorite aus and fanfictions of tmnt from the past year

Cass Apocalyptic Series by @somerandomdudelmao

Celestial AU by @ashwii

Like Father Like Son by @eternalglitch

EW AU and Feral!Leo AU by @cupcakeslushie

These are a very limited few of the tmnt fanfics and aus out there. I gave myself a cut off of five and these were the first ones that came to mind otherwise I would sit here all day listing off aus and fanfics.

[applesandbannas747]

Wait, I'm confused... do you like the Fence novels or no? Because your first review sounded positive and happy with the fun humor, and then every other thing I've seen from you about them is most pointing out the (very prominent, very not-good) flaws with them.

fair question! I had a Journey with the Fence novels and it was hellish. First, please keep in mind that I am unhealthily fixated on Fence and that does impact things all along the way.

When Striking Distance was announced, I was as excited as anyone, though wary because Pacat was handing it off to someone else to write. Still, I was hopeful--and more hopeful after reading In Other Lands because, despite the disturbing sexism that squicked me tf out, I really enjoyed that book! And so I was very eager to get my hands on Striking Distance. So I went on an absolute quest to get an ARC...and I did! It took a lot of dead ends and desperate tries, but remember that I'm insane. So I got my hands on an advanced copy by emailing the editor assigned to the book (who has since left the position). And as is custom with ARCs, he asked me to send my review when it went live.

Reading Striking Distance was such an experience dude. I wanted to love it as much as I loved the comics--remember that at this point, we only had up to issue 12 and the characterization therein. I love the OG 12 issues, and they'll always hold more sway in my understanding of the characters, but when reading SD, it was very clear that I'd read the entire comic completely fucking wrong. Remember my unhealthy obsession? Yeah. Trying to come to terms with Fence being something so opposite of everything I really loved about it and the fact that my reading of it was so wrong was really hard--like mental breakdowns level of hard. I wish I was joking. But I tried to force myself to love the reality of Fence anyway, despite kind of hating the novel, which I absolutely would not admit to myself because disliking any part of Fence felt like SUCH a betrayal to it, and I really really really didn't want to hate the characters I'd spent so much time bringing to life in my mind, because selfishly I didn't want to have to divorce my idea of the characters from canon, I just wanted to be able to love the canon characters and add onto them a little the way I'd been able to with the comics up until that point. So especially right after reading Striking Distance, I was insistent on liking it, and even as I slowly started to acknowledge that there were parts of it that made me want to scratch off my skin they made me so uncomfortable (see: the steak scene), I was really hell-bent on understating my dislike/criticism of it.

So when I went to write my review for Striking Distance to send to the really nice editor who sent me the ARC, I didn't want to betray Fence, I hadn't really processed my issues with it (and was--and honestly still am to an extent--worried that I was just being an entitled baby because my stupid fanfictions/interpretations were so fucking wrong), I didn't want to upset or hurt the feelings of the man who did me this HUGE favor, and because I wanted a chance to get an early copy of a possible sequel (because hating the novels didn't lesson my Need for early access to them. i know I'm unwell about fence jdhfa), I pulled out all the nicest thoughts I had about Striking Distance, exaggerated them and stretched them and sugar-coated everything else to provide a review that was nice and non-hostile.

Obviously, the longer I sat with Striking Distance and processed some things about it and about me, the more I started picking apart all the aspects that I hated and found I was able to produce reasons for each piece I disliked and was also able to pinpoint in the OG comics where I got all the pieces of the stories and characters I loved. So I did have to divorce my idea of Fence from canon if I wanted to keep loving Fence. And when I decided to keep loving Fence for all the reasons I used to instead of feel sick looking at/thinking about the franchise and characters, I was sort of free of the things holding me back from speaking about the things I didn't like, and so I started to analyze and essay and post about the novels and my untangled, truthful thoughts about them.

So I don't like the novels--there are maybe 3-4 things total that passed the vibe-check for me in both novels. I never liked the novels, and I lied about liking Striking Distance...but I was lying to myself about that one as much as anyone. And I haven't changed that review because, at the time, that was where my feelings were about it. So up it stays.

Here’s my fun little list of some of the places I've explained my dislike of the novels if you're curious, but yeah these are the real thoughts, the SD review was a carefully crafted lie <3

My full review of Disarmed

Autism representation in Seiji

Seiji in general

Eugene

Eugesse as a concept in Disarmed

Eugesse interactions in Disarmed

Nick's bisexuality

Coach Williams and sexual harassment

[tumblingxelian]

I have issues with how Azula was handled but it has far less to do with her not getting a redemption arc than it does almost everything else surrounding her character that the writers either did intentionally or never dealt with.

I can't do a full list right now but off the cuff:

One: Its pretty obvious Azula was the un-favorite amongst everyone but Ozai.

Ursa was happy to openly wonder what was 'wrong' with her, but when Zuko injures animals for fun she gently explains why he shouldn't do it. Iroh sends Zuko a super important dagger and symbol of victory, Azula gets a shitty doll he grabbed from some store and its likely murdered inhabitants. Ursa, Zuko & Azula all find Iroh's joke about scorching Ba Sing Se to the ground hilarious but only Azula is framed as inherently evil for this stuff.

Two: Azula is framed and treated as more of an adult than Zuko is by the writers. Zuko is just a confused lost boy whose negative actions are never allowed to get far enough to seriously hurt anybody but bad guys. He also often gets embarrassed after trying to be scary or having been scary to make him seem less threatening.

In contrast Azula's voice, her mannerism, the framing in that season 3 bed chamber scene, make up, general demeanor and framing as a combatant in general all are done to ensure she is as threatening and "Mature" as possible. While ignoring that she is essentially a 14 year old child soldier clearly used to being on campaign already.

Three: Azula is treated as some kind of horrific, amoral monster by Iroh from the second she shows up. This is despite the fact she's done significantly less evil than him and has had zero positive influences to combat what Ozai has taught her.

What's more, the series itself is inherently incoherent on one of its main thematic themes. Iroh will not fight Ozai because it would just be brother fighting brother for power, but Azula, Zuko's younger sister who conquered Ba Sing Se in a bloodless coup as opposed to blitzing it? Well, "She's crazy and needs to go down."

Four: I found Azula's entire breakdown rather poorly done in general.

To me it very much comes out of nowhere, not because being betrayed wouldn't be upsetting, but the ensuing degree of hallucinations and mania seem to come on awful quick for someone who showed zero symptoms like a day earlier.

(This also applies to her shift from "Lets take Ba Sing Se bloodlessly" to "Let's burn everything muahahahahaha.")

What's more, how do Zuko & Katara even know, hell think they are going to get anywhere near Azula's coronation without being bombarded by comet powered Firebenders and Dai-Li agents?

They have no reason to know Azula's become a paranoid wreck who has totally isolated herself but they just drift in on Appa like the capitals palace is any given town with only one villain there to threaten them.

That is to say, Azula's breakdown seems less like something foreshadowed and more like something done to her by the writers just so they wouldn't have to deal with anything difficult regarding Zuko becoming Fire Lord ETC.

Five: The "Fear is the only reliable way" angle from the above breakdown feels... Weird, to me. Not to say Azula doesn't utilize fear, she intimidated Ty Lee into coming with her and made herself imposing to the Dai-Li.

However, she also sought out Ty Lee as a friend first, as noted took Ba Sing Se bloodlessly and Mai up until season 3 never showed any real fear of Azula. Happily ignored her orders even if it sabotaged the mission & never faced any reprisal & even basically mocked Azula when the drill plan failed after choosing not to help.

Conclusion: Azula is a great character, however, I think she is used far more as a plot device than as a character in season 3 and it is to her and the shows detriment.

I just finished rewatching ATLA and I have to say…

Absolutely insane to me that people were insisting that Azula not getting a redemption was “misogynistic” and some kind of writing mistake. The girl told her dad to commit mass genocide.

[caatws]

I think the "real" family comment was taken out of context. I dont blame anyone for misinterpreting it, because James sometimes is so vague that his comments can be easily misinterpreted. I think what he meant with real family is that she goes back to the found family she has at the moment or the connections she has the closest or what in her eyes is her real family, but that doesnt mean that she doesnt consider the guardians a family to her in one way or another, she understands why they love her and why they are what they are, they are just not as deep as the ravagers.

I think she is very much open to the guardians now, she is coming back to her home after facing a group she didnt wanna face and realizes that is not so bad and that she can be herself with them and not separate herself from them like before. She doesnt have that urge to come back to the ravagers at the end, yeah she goes back home but that doesnt mean she is not part of the guardians family (regarding the Gunn's comment about Groot) or that she doesnt wanna be, its just a potential family that she can now face without having a fear on her mind.

I ask myself why some people think she is not gonna talk to Nebula and the guardians again? She didnt want to at the beginning, but she opens up to them at the end and realizes it is not so bad and that she has another branch she can extend if she choose to, and I think she does by her "fun" comment where she doesnt shy away! I dont if anyone one will agree that she probably sees them again from time to time especially Nebula who is her sister.

Note: This is not a way of saying no one can feel bad and frustrated about Gamora's treatment (because I agree especially with IW and EG), I just wanna see a positive light into her ending, because I dont think its as bad as people are making it up to be, and I think that when we get the script and the directors commentary we will get some more details in it.

i mean it was like literally a 10 word tweet in response to another, singular tweet that i also have included with it every time i post the screenshot? so i think all the context for the tweet exchange is there, given it was an isolated, 2-tweet conversation. i'm sure it was a quick and simple way of replying to one of many tweets, and it isn't exactly unique as an example of how exchanges on twitter are limited in how much nuance they can contain, but i don't think that makes not rly vibing with it as misinterpreting it or taking it "out of context"

but, actually, just for funsies, if we want to put this tweet into a larger context with everything else happening in gotg land, then let's: the larger context would have to include gamora's arcs in the films themselves, the switching out of original gamora for 2014!gamora with little time spent on grieving original gamora outside of peter, the entire situation happening irl with gamora not being included in the merch, the conversations abt who peter should date now instead of gamora within the fandom/press/media, etc. these are all examples of things from The Framework Gunn's Commentary Exists In(TM), and most of these examples don't exactly paint a pretty picture for gamora, her arc, or her maintaining her place in the team and family she personally founded and created herself before her murder

the core of what i've BEEN saying is, if gunn had tweeted this exact thing, in a world where all the post-eg gotg content has actually included Everyone being upset over what happened to gamora and grieving her, then All of them having complicated relationships with the 2014!gamora, as they All recognized 2014!gamora was not just "their gamora who doesn't remember them", in a world where all the vol 3 merch has included gamora and audiences across the board weren't confused abt what actually happened to gamora bc it was actually covered clearly, in depth, in canon, then, yeah, i think this tweet would probably, in a word, hit different.

[moandkatelive]

I know everyone is thrilled to bits about the way Campwolfe/Berena has resolved itself now that Catherine is on sabbatical gone.

Under the cut are my thoughts. Warning. Not as thrilled to bits. But perhaps something to ponder nonetheless

We all have different reactions to the things that come across our screens and our dashes and everyone has differing viewpoints on what constitutes good representation.  I suppose I’ll speak to what is important to me as there are some things troubling and niggling at me about how all this came to be resolved.

Anyone who has followed my blog I’m sure I’ll lose more followers for this it’s ok I can take it obscurity has always been kinda my jam knows that I have been critical of the presentment of the back half of the Berena storyline since Kiev:

-variation of the lesbian death trope

- desexualization of both Bernie and Serena (because of grief)

-almost the entirety of their entire post-Kiev relationship playing out off-screen (tell don’t show)

-the pathologizing of Sererna’s grief and the fact that Holby turned her into a histronic, shouty, abusive ‘crazy lady’ 

-Serena’s isolationism  -the inability of anyone really able to aid her or really make an effort to come to her aid (Including Bernie) 

-turning Serena into basically a drunk.

I haven’t watched this show in awhile - and I won’t watch the episode from yesterday (some of that because the Diassac story is too triggering for me and I have to own that and take care of myself) but I did watch the bathroom scene where Bernie shouts “i love you” at Serena and where sober Serena answers her concern with yet more bile and I did watch the roof scene where Serena doesn’t fling herself off the roof and Bernie and Serena finally have a conversation.

Serena didn’t throw herself off the roof. Lesbian death trope averted.  Yay.  I guess.

But it seems as though for so many this last scene somehow completely negates all that went before it in this rollercoaster of watching Serena Campbell fall apart these last two months.  I find that curious.  I find it somewhat sad and it worries me how the representation was, in the end, presented.  Especially the alcoholism.

Serena and shiraz.  

And I guess that’s the rub for me.  Perhaps it’s just me but it is very distressing to me that in a world where so many queer young people (and young adults and middle aged people) start drinking early, drink to excess to ease their fears, or to fit in, to deal with internalized homophobia, hell to drive away the pain in their lives that a character that is presented as ‘excellent lesbian representation’ (Holby’s words not mine) finally has an honest and forgiving conversation with a young doctor she has spent the last month abusing- only when she’s drunk.  A character who provides “excellent representation” is almost exclusively combative and verbally abusive to her ‘partner’ and I use that term loosely for most of their interactions and when they finally have a much needed heart to heart it’s only when Serena’s loaded.  That’s canon. She was drunk.  

Am I happy they had the conversation?  Sure.  I guess. I would have loved to see Serena and Bernie finally have a heart to heart when Serena wasn’t doing it through a shit-ton of shiraz.  Hell - I’d have loved it if they hadn’t had Serena drunk on the roof in the middle of shift in order to give us the “she needs a sabbatical line” but that’s entirely another post for another day. I’m saddened by this.  I’m so tired. I’m tired of having the lesbian, bi, queer women that are reflected back at me on my screen shoved down this path.  If they’re not dying or ‘straightening out’ they’re becoming hysterical, unable to cope, desexualized or that old tired one - alcoholic.

Whether Serena is a full blown alcoholic or not I suppose is up for debate but it’s certainly true that she threw slurred praise at Jasmine (as if that would make up for all the abuse she threw at her in the last month) and she settled in for a rooftop chat about the future of her relationship with Bernie - fairly large topic - while sloshed.  

I just wish the bar had been set a bit higher.  Is this what we want to emulate I suppose, in the end, is also the question?

Are we happy with hearing Bernie yell “I love you at Serena” - her I love you’s essentially throw-away lines in a larger argument.  Tossed out with such ease that either a) Bernie is a completely different character than the Bernie that went to Kiev or b) that so much has happened between Bernie and Serena off-screen that it would be commonplace for Bernie to drop that phrase.  And for Serena to crush it like that.  Yes, love means you hang with someone - but at what point do you walk away from someone who speaks to you abusively - and save yourself?

No one will convince me that it’s admirable to be the BMAM tough one month after month being pushed away and abused and stand and say ‘pile abuse on me I’m tough I can take it.”  At some point this is not admirable. It’s just enabling the other to continue to hurt you.  I want more for Bernie. I want better for Bernie, for us as wlw, for representation of us AS wlw.

I would have hoped for a ‘sober’ conversation.  Yes I get it’s a soap, it’s high drama, yada yada yada - I’m not naive and I know the drill. And not absolutely EVERYTHING on television is an exact copy of how our own lives should play out.

But isn’t the point of watching it and falling for it is that we really ARE looking for a glimpse of ourselves in these characters?  I mean isn’t that what Catherine Russell has been so passionately telling the chat shows - that people relate to Serena as a gay woman, relate to Berena?  If so then we HAVE to at least look at the fact that part of what we’re relating to is HOW we’re being represented.

I wish she hadn’t been drunk.  I wish that their ‘separation’ and they’re definitely separated for now had been less ambiguous.  I wish that Serena could have told Bernie how she felt about her under different circumstances.  I wish that I could look to this couple and see myself, or something I wanted to emulate in my own life - god forbid emulate if something tragic happened in my own life.

But I got nothing.  It’s not there. 

This is MY opinion.  I get there are those of you who love it, love every single thing about it, see the romance in it and I’m absolutely NOT here to tell you how to feel or to say you shouldn’t have any old reaction that you want to Serena’s swan song.  This is simply how “I” reacted to it.  For me it was disheartening and I think in the end did a great disservice to a couple who started off so wonderfully and thrilling and beautifully nuanced and mature.  I think this story in many ways betrayed the heart of who Serena Campbell actually is/was.  

I have no idea if Serena will be back.  That remains to be seen.  I do hope if she does come back that perhaps we can find a glimpse of the old Serena.  The sassy, Harvard MBA, part-time CEO, compassionate, thoughtful, witty Serena with the skills to self-reflect and to fight for herself and others.  Not this shouty, histrionic, walled-off, self-absorbed, boozy, crazy lady that somehow grief and TPTB have made her out to be sitting on the roof getting shittered.  Because I honestly think she’s better than that.