#there is really not enough exploration of lack of cultivation as disability

[aggressivelybicaptainamerica]

I am in a terrible flare today and thinking about chronic pain!JGY

We know because of his weak cultivation that he doesn't heal the way other cultivators do and unless it happened off screen I don't think he got any substantial medical care. I don't know if we get an exact list of injuries he received, but being pushed all the way down 72 stairs is going to REALLY fuck someone up, especially because he had a head wound. There's no way he's not going to be in chronic pain after an attack like that. Even with non magical medical care that would leave permanent damage.

So imagine JGY with TBI triggered migraines that steal his memory and his ability to do anything but lie in the dark. Bones that never set quite right that flare and ache during every storm and every time the seasons change. A shoulder that is too weak to hold a true sword due to ligament damage causing the joint to sit incorrectly.

Every time he hurts he remembers how unworthy he is, that his now broken body is just another failure he has to figure out how to overcome with cunning and guile because at the end of the day he's a useless, broken son of a whore. There is no escape when even his own body reminds him of what he truly is.

[theveryworstthing]

hello everyone, here are some very rough sketches of hare Messenger/caravan friends. i wanna draw more of these because i’ve finally settled on a general design and now i’m ready to get wacky with them.

but first.

it is time for lore.

this isn’t everything i want to say about hares and caravans and their relationship with rabbits and the above ground world but i figure it’s a start. so welcome to Hare Caravans: a short history intertwined with landscaping and postal work.

The beginnings of a journey: staying above ground where all the things that want to kill you are is good actually.

The first hare leveret was born at about the same time as the first rabbit kit. Some say that the two litters were only a nest apart, or that they were even reared together. No one is quite sure of the exact times and distances though because the only people there were the Mothers, who are all gone now, and a few couple minute old gods, who while gods, were just dumb babies who had no idea that any of this would ever matter in the future.

The main thing of importance is that in the beginning there were rabbits and hares in the same general area dealing with the same general existence bullshit and for some reason instead of wising up and going underground like the rabbits, the hares decided (in what had to be a blinding species-wide wave of spite and wanderlust because let’s be real they are EVEN TWITCHIER than rabbits) to stay above ground,learn to do sick stunts, and make the world Deal With Them.

Both rabbits and hares are naturally very quick on their feet but hares are faster and ridiculously acrobatic. They were able to live above ground on the island for so long because even though they still got got every now and then, they were able to juke their way to survival most of the time. But this made hares very solitary. They’re a little more resistant to fear death but it’s still a thing that happens and stress took less hares than you’d think but more hares than you’d hope. They didn’t have the guaranteed safety of the rabbits’ warrens to relax in and it’s hard to build a stable community when a group = a delicious easy target for predators. That’s where the Messengers came in.

The Messengers At first they were merely a small guild of traveling hares that worked as sort of builders/landscapers/proto-postalworkers. Everything about them was kept pretty hush hush and their founder, a tall albino hare who even then everyone suspected had been doing this job way before this job had a name, wasn’t much into discussing the business to those they didn’t deem prospective hires. This made them one of, if not the first, secret society on the island.

The Messengers would collect and deliver letters, small items, and general news from different parts of the island, packing their cargo on quick beetle steads and leading them through the night to distant territories. When they got to a new area they set up cryptic signs and elaborately camouflaged tents that served as pop-up meeting places for whoever was passing through. They were hardworking, crafty, sleep deprived, respectful of their clients’ privacy, and their slogan: ‘I might only be stopped by death and then I only might be’ has persisted as an empowering and slightly threatening mantra for the hares, rabbits, and now vultures who continue in their stead. Truly strong roots for modern island derived postal work.

The Outposts Now when I said those first Messenger-built tents were camouflaged I mean that they were functionally, borderline rage inducingly, invisible. Messengers would arrange entire false landscapes around their tents and the tents themselves were made of thick woven mats covered in layers of cultivated moss, fungus, and various bits of predator-offensive local vegetation for an optimal ‘this is totally a normal danger bush please piss off’ vibe. Some of their later outposts(where modern ‘postal’ work gets its name)included hidden doorways on seemingly regular boulders, clusters of reeds hiding entrances to submerged airtight rooms, and that one open grove near the Center that looked like nothing until you inevitably walked smack into an expertly painted wall like a dang cartoon character. That was the Head Messenger’s favorite outpost (and the most entertaining to watch from afar).

Most of these places got wrecked by time but some people say that the grove outpost still exists, much to the irritation of local postal workers. This is just an urban legend. Their official stance is that the place was destroyed in a storm shortly after the hares all left the island, and a search of the grove certainly supports their exasperated claims that nothing is there anymore. But there are also no ruins of any sort in the grove and to this day the rare rabbit or vulture will come back from their travels with stories about face planting into air and discovering a weird old building that contained nothing but a single black envelope. Again, the island postal service says these are all just urban legends and nothing more.

But also, maybe just keep away from the area and if you see any black envelopes please contact your nearest postal worker asap.

The Signs Since the outposts were so hidden, if you weren’t lucky enough to stumble into one or you didn’t notice the appearance of a New Bush, then you had to look for the signs. A stack of flat stones or a single hare antler tipped with black were signals that a Messenger was visiting. These items would always be at the base of a tree or some other large immovable object where the Messenger would use paint made with Medic’s Eye fungi spores to draw directional symbols that would light up momentarily when the surface was tapped. Before they left the Messenger would always recollect and scrub away their sign materials. Just leaving up signs was irresponsible, as future Messengers might set up in a different spot and conflicting signs would be confusing. Also, bandits might use abandoned signs to lure victims into ambushes. Very few bandits ever had the chance to do this since Messengers were diligent about erasing their signs and very few of them escaped the Messengers if they found out which hooligans had betrayed the people’s trust in mail, but still.

The birth of caravans and getting creative At the outposts, hares would collect their mail, talk amongst themselves, and generally spend leisure time with their brethren without the threat of danger. The outposts were (purposefully) hard to find, only stayed open for a day or two at most, and the messengers had a serious lack of chill due to their busy schedules, but people really loved them. As interest in these meeting spots grew trade increased, people grew closer(within reason, hares were still real solitary at that point), and eventually caravans were created to make setting up these pop-up marketplaces/communities easier.

Of course by this point the safest spots had small permanent outposts  with a rotating staff of guard hares (and a few adventurous rabbits). But hares were too twitchy to leave whole towns just…there. Out in the open. Permanently. A house can’t run. Or at least most houses can’t run. Who in their right mind would want long term shelter you can’t pick up and take with you? But a vehicle? Strap a streamlined wagon to a strong beetle, or better yet get a walking worm that can really sprint, and now you’re in business(some of the most beloved hare fables are about a witch who lived in a walking worm that ran around on pillyki legs). And so these hidden outposts became the center of constantly fluctuating camouflaged towns made of caravans.

The wagons and worms that inhabited these towns were really…a sight. Of course they were all the equivalent of speedwalking shrubbery, but the variation! The ingenuity! The application of literally whatever they found while rambling around! Closer looks revealed dead branch coverings held up by years of interlocking shed antlers and tied together with cast off scraps of green fabric that were coated with wax and artfully styled into very convincing leaves. Plants with woven roots for floors and branches for roofs were kept on shallow platforms of soil and molded into tiny but ever growing shacks. Walking worms resembling rotted logs filled fine garden lounges and stages and libraries and laundry rooms tiled with smooth bits of broken pottery. In a small tent that from the outside looks like three sticks and an unfortunate amount of wolf poop, a midwife helps deliver three healthy leverets. A wonderland made of pure natural beauty, art, and a little teeny tiny bit of collected travel garbage. Magnificent.

It really is too bad that most of the more fragile ones didn’t survive the trip to the mainland. Being successfully converted into boats was just not in the cards for them. Silver lining? They got to re-design them all over again with mainland materials. So even though true Island Vehicles are rare now they’re all just as funky.

The Connections Caravan communities really changed hare society. They had always had culture and stories and art, but it was hard to enjoy any of that with frickin’ wolves and owls on their heels 24/7. While families with younger children or disabled members traveled together, it was just so much safer to stay in small distant groups if you stayed in a group at all. This meant very little non trade or procreation mingling. The relative safety of the caravan towns gave birth to a wave of new art and culture exploration since people now had time, space, and input from so many new friends with similar interests in the same place. It’s amazing what you can do when you aren’t constantly running on survival mode and even though they had had access to friendly rabbit spaces before, it just wasn’t the same. Soon entire droves of hares started moving together in very loose communities. Wagons or worms never really right next to each other but all heading in the same direction on their own paths and coming back together at the end of their journeys. Close enough to run to a neighbor if need be but never clumped up. As these droves solidified, they each developed distinct new customs and skills, and the connections between members became as strong as any warren.

These connections are especially apparent in an old practice called Path Merging. Originally only done to seal peace treaties after the rare violent cross-caravan spat but now a common practice, if a single leveret is born (a rarity) they are paired with a single leveret of a similar age from a neighboring ally caravan and raised together. The pair travels back and forth all of their young lives, first with their mothers and then alone, living in their home caravans for different parts of the year. A few of these pairs stay together forever and some only part ways when they start their own families but ideally they at least make it to twenty years before calling for a separating ritual for the whole deal to be Solid. Similar to a diplomatic betrothal but based more on creating lifelong partners of any relationship type over setting up a marriage, this fostering of an intense bond from being the only true constants in each other’s lives is a show of good will and connection between their people. In a way they come to embody the essence of their community and as single litters are seen as a sign of pure hare independence and the old ways of their lost island home, these children are very powerful symbols.

It also means surefire preferential trading and aid from what are pretty much blood-contract bound allies.

These leverets are supposed to be raised like any other, but may receive a little special treatment in times of hardship to prove one caravans’ dependability to the other. A pair being returned in bad condition or with tales of abuse can start or further irritate conflicts. A falling out between the bonded pair can also be disastrous but it happens. You usually have no idea if babies will just super hate each other once they learn what hate is! Or what life in general will throw at you! If everything else is fine but they’re just not compatible people then after a while the caravan elders from both sides will come together and amicably agree to separate them. Although if one deeply wrongs or injures the other there can be some…dire consequences for the offending party that can splash back on their community depending on the situation. Hares almost always avoid war, but they’re real big on justice.

Despite this intense ritual, hares are still hares. They travel together now but they’re still kind of solitary creatures. Caravans are still pretty spaced out affairs, relying on radios and slime mold compasses to keep in touch when someone needs to wander away from the group for a bit. Outside of the usual life threatening issues, they’re not really worried about wandering the untamed mainland alone.

It’s not really a big deal when you have somewhere to come back to.

[thechasefiles]

The Chase Files Daily Newscap 14/1/2020

Good Morning #realdreamchasers. Here is your daily news cap for Tuesday January 14th, 2020. There is a lot to read and digest so take your time. Remember you can read full articles via Barbados Government Information Service (BGIS), Barbados Today (BT), or by purchasing a Daily Nation Newspaper (DN).

MASH UP AND REBUILD – Barbados’ education system will need to be dismantled if authorities wish to thoroughly address the country’s troubling social issues. So says Democratic Labour Party (DLP) President Verla DePeiza who believes plans by Prime Minister Mia Mottley to abolish the longstanding Common Entrance Exam are merely tackling “low hanging fruit”. Instead, she’s hoping to see a “multi-faceted” approach to 21st century education, tailored to address the peculiar needs of students instead of forcing them into the “box of our education”. “Our education system has been lauded and praised for decades without appreciating that it has not moved in any way whilst society has done so. As such, we need to have a complete dismantling and reshaping of what education is,” DePeiza declared. She was addressing a panel discussion on Sunday night at the party’s George Street, St. Michael Headquarters entitled Crime, Youth, and Opportunities. The president added: “No one who learns by ‘rote’ is sufficiently equipped for the technological age that requires you to think laterally. Our societal issues require engineering and I don’t mean that in the mathematical and scientific sense, but engineering in the social sense where we are actively looking for solutions.” PM Mottley, during her first national address this year, told Barbadians her government was still exploring the possibility of totally abolishing the Common Entrance Exam and introducing middle schools to replace the current outdated system. So broken is the current system, the DLP leader stressed, that “anything else is worth a try”, while maintaining certain glaring deficiencies need to be addressed. “You can tinker with it over time but you need to have a system that critically analyses students from an early age to identify their strengths and their weaknesses. Everybody is imbued with some sort of talent. Whether you consider the Bible to be your guiding light or just a book of really good stories, you would know the parable of the talents,” the political leader recalled. DePeiza continued: “There wasn’t a single one who had none. At least one talent was given. We have to have an eye on our young people to isolate and develop their talents.” Pointing to the past prison exhibitions and awards at NIFCA out of Her Majesty’s Prison, the DLP President insisted that even without formal training, inmates have produced “the most wonderful art”. As such, she called for more “remedial” programmes aimed at assisting persons who have ‘fallen through the cracks’ and landed in prison. “…We need to have programmes to reintegrate them and find what their talent is and at that late stage still hone it, because I cannot find it within me to believe that we have persons with nothing to offer to society. Even persons whom we consider to have disabilities, we have seen them apply themselves in significant ways to society,” she added. “We all know someone who is differently able but highly capable and in the reforming of our education we have to find space in our regular classrooms for those who have unfortunate physical challenges that have no impact on their mental capabilities. We have to have the fullest reshaping of our society. We owe them a duty to make sure that all persons have an opportunity to shine in our society.” Meanwhile, DLP General Secretary Guyson Mayers described some schools as being mere centres to hold students before they are eventually shipped off to prison and suggested urgent interventions to assist. “We need interventions, that before these people leave secondary school, they can see something useful in their paths…How therefore do you intervene when they are not yet 15 or 16 and say to them ‘this is a useful avenue for you to walk down’?” Mayers asked. He added: “These things are not impossible, but you have to think outside the box if you are going to successfully develop programmes of that nature.” (BT)

DLP QUESTIONS DOTTIN’S ROLE IN CRIME FIGHT – What is Darwin Dottin doing for the people of Barbados? That was a key question on the lips of Democratic Labour Party (DLP) officials as they lambasted the government-appointed crime-consultant whose tenure last year coincided with Barbados’ bloodiest year on record. Attorney General Dale Marshall since then has defended the appointment claiming that Dottin has been serving the country well. On Sunday night, former President of the Young Democrats, Curtis Cave and DLP General Secretary Guyson Mayers tore into the former commissioner of police and other government consultants whose fees, in their opinion ought to be banished from the public payroll.But Dottin bore the brunt of the attack as critics noted it was during his administration that the police force faced a record 35 murders back in 2006. “You cannot bring back the man as a consultant who had the previous record on murders,” Cave told a packed room at the George Street auditorium. “At that time, I believe the Attorney General was Dale Marshall or the current Prime Minister. The combination of these three characters is clearly not very good at all.” When asked for his take on Dottin’s accomplishments after his appointed back in February last year, Guyson Mayers, a former head of the Police Service Commission soundly condemned the “cloak of secrecy” surrounding the appointment. “Nobody has seen him, nobody has heard from him since then, nobody knows what he is doing and therefore I do not know if he is working for the government of Barbados or the Barbados Labour Party… I don’t know what he is doing so I cannot comment on whether the money is well-spent,” he admitted. On Monday, however, the AG took to Voice of Barbados radio to declare that Government is pleased with the ex-commissioner’s “efforts” but argued Dottin had no duty to report to the public.  “Mr Dottin is engaged as a consultant by my ministry. He reports to me and through me to the Prime Minister. I don’t think there has ever been an instance in the history of the Democratic Labour Party (DLP) that any consultant ever spoke to the public about what they were doing. I expect more of this but I keep saying that Barbadians need to stay the course. We have put an awful lot of resources into crime fighting and we are making significant strides with a number of the cases. Meanwhile, DLP President Verla DePeiza, also sitting on Sunday’s panel on Crime, Youth and Opportunities, conveyed her concern about the issue of government consultants on a much wider scale. She argued that the consultancy fees contained in the 2017/2018 estimates by the DLP when compared with those under the current Prime Minister reveal an “explosive escalation” in costs by hundreds of percentage points. Even more worrying for DePeiza is the lack of disclosure about the identity of the consultants. “We do not know who the majority of the consultants are. We keep hearing rumours. At least in relation to the former Commissioner of Police, he was introduced to us, but the majority of the other consultants, we have no idea who they are, what they are supposed to be doing, how much they are being paid, whether they are supposed to issue any reports, conduct any research or anything of that nature,” said DePeiza. She added: “We do not know what their terms of reference are, what their remit is and in most cases we don’t even know what they are being paid. What I can say in relation to former Commissioner Dottin is that we can see there have been no results since his appointment and whatever it is that he is being paid, the monies very clearly could be redirected to some purpose, because right now we cannot see any purpose for his being a consultant for this government.” Meanwhile, Cave, suggesting many of the consultants are wealthy supporters of the ruling BLP challenged them to prove they had the country’s best interest at heart by offering their services for free. (BT)

BUT WANTS TEACHERS APPOINTED – THE Barbados Union of Teachers (BUT) is concerned that not enough is being done to fill a major void in the teaching system, which it says is only growing larger. After a Congress of Trade Unions and Staff Associations of Barbados (CTUSAB) media conference at BUT headquarters, Merryhill, Welches, St Michael, on Saturday, BUT president Sean Spencer pointed to the December 19, 2019 edition of The Official Gazette. “If one examines the Gazette, one would recognise that there are senior administrative posts to be filled. As middle management is promoted, though not exclusively, their posts become vacant in turn and junior appointed officers will be promoted. “Ultimately, temporary employees will be appointed to the newly vacated established posts. Therefore, given the volume of retirements, there should be a number of established posts in the service to be accessed,” he said. (DN)

MEDICAL MARIJUANA LICENSING TO BEGIN NEXT MONTH – Five months into the life of new legislation to allow the cultivation of medicinal marijuana, investors can start applying for a grower’s licence from as early as next month, Minister of Agriculture Indar Weir has revealed. But the price of licences to be issued by the new agency created by the law is likely to be beyond the reach of “average” Barbadians, the minister suggested. He told Barbados TODAY that the newly established Barbados Medicinal Cannabis Licensing Authority should be ready to begin issuing licences by February. He declared: “I am happy to report that the authority is established, and they are ready to work. “I am hoping that the first of the license would be ready to be issued before February but no later than the end of that month. “By February all of the necessary information should be in the public domain, so that the public will be aware of the process and what they have to do in order to be able to start to apply for licences.” Weir declined to disclose the cost of the various categories of licences, but stressed that while Barbadians will not be left out of the new industry, it will require heavy investment in order to get going. When pressed on whether the average citizen would be able to afford a medicinal marijuana licence, Weir replied: “Frankly, I don’t know what the average man means; the average man cannot invest in Coca-Cola. “Barbados’ marijuana sector is not small business activity only, it calls for huge investment in research and development.” He contended that having come so far, Barbados could ill-afford to be wrapped up in a big business versus small business squabble. Instead the focus must be on what is needed to get the industry off the ground.Weir said: “It takes a huge investment in manufacturing and even takes a huge investment in cultivation. “We have to be frank about these things and face the reality where this industry is going because if you have done any research on the industry, you would realise that it takes major investment to make it work. “There is always a place for the small man which would be facilitated by Government who would create space for them and opportunities for funding. These are things that we are working on for the small man.” Weir said that the emerging interest had garnered interest from local and international investors. Barbados will adopt a tiered approach to cultivation and processor permits, ranging from Tier 1 for small-scale cultivation to Tier 3 for large-scale farms. The Medical Cannabis Industry Act allows medical cannabis to be prescribed by a practitioner to Barbadians or visitors to the island. As the legislation was making its way through Parliament, Prime Minister Mia Mottley said that if managed correctly, the trade could prove to be extremely lucrative. She told the House: “If we can in structuring out the medicinal cannabis industry as a new productive sector, manage the agricultural component, manage the manufacturing component, manage the tourism and hospitality component and manage the international business component then we will have in a total way be able to extract maximum value from this particular product which for the majority of our history was in fact legal and not illegal.” (BT)

RUM ACADEMY’ IDEA GETS MINISTERIAL SUPPORT – A rum academy, suggested by a prominent distiller has received backing from Minister of Tourism and International Transport Kerrie Symmonds, Symmonds, who gave his support for Mount Gay Distilleries Managing Director Raphael Grisoni’s suggestion, noted Barbados’ international reputation as a historic rum producer. He said his ministry was willing and ready to partner with Mount Gay and other players in the market to set up an institution to teach Barbadians and tourists alike about the history and business of rum production. In remarks at Mount Day’s Open Day on Saturday, Symmonds said:”In consult with you, I would be very happy now to say that the Ministry of Tourism would be happy to partner in the creation of such an education experience and taking our tourism experience another notch up.” Last year, Grisoni declared that it was the duty of the oldest distillery in Barbados “to lead in educating all [about] the art and craft of our industry to sustain and preserve our heritage”. Symmonds said Barbados must be prepared to showcase to the world the history of the slave society, the role it played in rum production and the importance of the experience to transitioning Barbados from a colonial backwater to being one of the world’s most competitive Small Island Developing States. The Minister said:“This country has to begin to hold up for the world to see those things that set us apart and differentiate us. And again this is a major part of what we are trying to achieve in tourism. “The Mexicans make no apology about tequila and its relationship to Mexico, the French have absolutely no apology about champagne and the relationship to France, and the Scottish feel similar about scotch. “And we have in Barbados to be prepared to make the same bold international statement.” Symmonds also indicated that Government intended to continue to make the tourism experience a far more cultural and historical experience than it has ever been. He told the open day’s attendees: “We cannot do the business of tourism seriously in this country if we continue to hide the lights under a bushel. “The country is full of communities which reflect levels of excellence and expertise that we must showcase, and talent that we have to put on show. “It is also very important to understand that as we go forward we want authenticity in our tourism product. “And we can only do that, if we are prepared to do the things that Mount Gay has been able to demonstrate by way of continuity and persistence and commitment to developing that which is really not only a manufacturing commodity, but part of the cultural heritage of this country.” (BT)

MINISTER USED POSITION FOR GREEDY GAINS – “A case of lies, corruption and greed!” That is how prosecutor Gerald Moody summed up the actions of former Government Minister Donville Inniss, who he said deceived the people of Barbados by accepting bribes from the Insurance Corporation of Barbados Limited (ICBL) four years ago. Just after 8 a.m., Inniss, wearing a long, black coat accompanied by lawyer Steven Legon, friend and former Attorney General Adriel Brathwaite and one of his brothers, entered the Eastern District Federal Court in New York. Once inside, an upbeat-looking Inniss who was clad in a grey suit, white shirt and green tie was seen glancing occasionally towards them and smiling from his seat. Former Speaker of the Barbados House of Assembly and Democratic Labour Party (DLP) colleague Michael Carrington, also joined the proceedings during the day. Inniss faces two counts of money laundering along with conspiracy to commit money laundering. There were a few hiccups before proceedings got going just after 10 a.m. The trial was delayed for over an hour after a late arrival by juror 11. Federal District Judge Kiyo Matsumoto also disclosed that juror number 16 had endured a medical emergency and would be absent. There was also a brief power outage in the courtroom. In his ten-minute opening remarks to the 12-member jury comprising five females and seven males, Moody urged the jurors to return a guilty verdict at the end of the trial. He said Inniss had used his position as Minister of Industry, International Business, Commerce and Small Business Development to benefit financially. “This case is about lies, corruption and greed and how Inniss, a government minister, took bribes from ICBL and then funneled the money through his friend’s dental company. “As the minister he was responsible for encouraging economic development and he wasn’t supposed to cash in and sell out the people of Barbados,” Moody argued. He said as a result of the bribes, ICBL was awarded the insurance contracts to insure over $100 million in Government property. “He went to great lengths to hide it. ICBL didn’t pay it to him, they paid him through his friend’s dental company in Long Island who two days later passed on the money to his account in Florida where he owns a condominium,” he added. He argued that the $16 536.73 paid to Inniss in 2015 was exactly five per cent of ICBL’s insurance contract that year. However, Inniss’ attorney-at-law Anthony Ricco implored the jury to keep an open mind and not to rush to judgement. He said that Inniss was presumed innocent until guilty and that it was the burden of the prosecution to prove the accused’s guilt. “The government is saying something about a bribe, but they have to prove it and prove it beyond a reasonable doubt. This case is about politics 2000 miles away and you are going to hear about a powerful organisation that collected profits long before Inniss came into office,” Ricco said. “Pay close attention to the witnesses, this is not a difficult case. But if your minds are already made up then this process is wasted. I’m asking for Inniss to start with a clean slate and for you to keep an open mind. Let it come to you before you make a decision,” Ricco said. (BT)

FORMER ICBL OFFICER: I WROTE THE INVOICES – Former chief financial officer (CFO) of the Insurance Corporation of Barbados Limited (ICBL) Kamante Millar today admitted to writing two fraudulent invoices for monies to be paid to former government minister Donville Inniss. However, Millar, who has turned State’s witness in the case being heard in a Brooklyn, New York court, said while she felt “uncomfortable” performing the deed she never believed the monies being paid to Inniss were bribes. The former ICBL accountant was the first witness to take the stand in the trial against Inniss, who is charged with two counts of money laundering along with conspiracy to commit money laundering. He has been accused by the United States of accepting bribes from the Insurance Corporation of Barbados Limited (ICBL) in 2015 and 2016 totaling over US $36 000, while he was Minister of Industry, International Business, Commerce and Small Business Development. The US Attorney’s Office has also alleged that Inniss conspired to hide the payment by having the money sent to a New York dental company then into his bank account through a number of transfers. During his examination, Federal prosecutor Gerald Moody revealed that Millar had signed a non-prosecution agreement with the US Government in July 2017. She said in exchange for “telling the truth” no charges would be brought against her, despite her admitted role. Millar told the court that in August 2015, she attended a meeting with former chief executive officer (CEO) of ICBL Ingrid Innes and former senior vice-president with responsibility for business development and marketing Alex Tasker. Following that meeting, she said Innes instructed her to make “an urgent payment” of a referral bonus to Inniss. She said she was uncomfortable with the request made by Innes as he was “politically exposed” and she enquired if she Innes had cleared such a transaction with the company’s chairman John Wight, to which Innes responded, “It’s fine”. She said she was given a piece of paper by Tasker which she subsequently prepared into an invoice for $16 536.73 to be paid to Inniss. One year later in 2016, Millar said she wrote a similar invoice also to be paid to Inniss for $20 000. Both payments were made in US currency and paid by BF&M, the majority stakeholder in ICBL. Millar said she was instructed to send the money to Inniss’ company, Crystal Dental Lab in the US. “I knew what I was doing was wrong because invoices usually come from external sources not internally…it wasn’t authentic. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do but I felt I had no choice so I did what the CEO wanted,” the St Vincent-born Millar said. She insisted that she never believed she was committing a crime. Millar said if she had felt that way she would never have done it. Under cross-examination by defense attorney Anthony Ricco, Millar said she had a tumultuous relationship with Innes from the time she took up her post. She described Innes as a “heavy-handed” boss who verbally abused her. Ricco also suggested to Millar that during an interview with the FBI she told them that Tasker had informed her that the monies to be paid to Inniss were “political payments, commissions and contributions”. She however said she could not recall making such a statement. Millar also said she was not aware of any relationship between Inniss and Innes. When questioned, Millar admitted to not revealing her full involvement in the transaction to the chairman, even though she knew he was looking for answers. Also taking the stand today was Wight, who denied any knowledge surrounding the monies allegedly paid to Inniss. In fact, he said after he became aware of the transactions on October 4, 2016, he sought a response from both Innes and Tasker, to no avail. He said his queries came as a result of the finance department unearthing two payments in 2015 and 2016. Wight said when he confronted Innes, she told him she was unaware of those transactions. The CEO of BF&M said that company had no relationship with Donville Inniss or Crystal Dental Labs. The case is being heard by Judge Kiyo Matsumoto. (BT)

EMAILS POINT TO PAYMENTS – As a result of an investigation into the Insurance Corporation of Barbados Limited (ICBL), emails and WhatsApp messages between Donville Inniss and Alex Tasker were seized. This was revealed by FBI supervisory special agent Stephanie Krug, who said the information was gathered by the US Department of Justice after it opened a “full investigation” into the insurance company. Krug said during the investigation subpoenas were served and two search warrants were executed in relation to Inniss’ email addresses. She made the revelations during the opening day of the former Barbados government minister’s trial which got underway at the Eastern District Federal Court in New York. Inniss is charged with two counts of money laundering and conspiracy to commit money laundering. She said in 2015 she was working as a special agent in New York with the International Corruption Squad. Under examination from lead prosecutor Sylvia Shweder, Krug spoke of several emails and text messages between Inniss and Tasker, ICBL’s former senior vice-president with responsibility for business development and marketing. The messages were exchanged between 2015 and 2016. Krug said while both Inniss and Tasker had personal and work-related email addresses, several of their conversations took place via their personal email addresses. The FBI agent said on August 9, 2015, Tasker sent a WhatsApp message to Inniss saying, “Do not forget to send off the letter in the a.m. We will be in meetings from 9-12”. She said the next day Inniss sent an email to himself in which he mentioned Crystal Dental Lab, an account number, a routing number and the Bank of America. Krug said another email was then sent from Inniss’ personal email address patriotbb2@gmail.com – to Tasker titled ‘Crystal Invoice’. She said in an email sent from Inniss to Tasker’s personal email – draxhall60@gmail.com – on March 21, 2016, he made note of a $20,000 payment to be made to Crystal Dental Lab for consulting fees between June 2015 and June 2016. Krug also pointed to emails between Inniss and an official at a financial institution where negotiations for a loan took place. She said on March 5, 2015, Inniss sent an email requesting a loan for USD$75,000, which he would use to make a short-term investment as well as for tuition for his son. The FBI agent said an agreement was subsequently reached where Inniss would repay US$2,000 monthly, beginning July 1 that year, and would be paid through a Barbadian-owned company. She said a check showed that Inniss along with Gail Williams-Inniss were named as directors of Kyfee Corp, which had been incorporated on March 22, 2006. However, Krug revealed subsequent emails which showed that Inniss had not made the loan payments for several amounts, amounting in a US$12,000 outstanding balance. She will continue her evidence tomorrow. (BT)

MAGISTRATES COURT CONTROVERSY AGAIN – Magistrate Douglas Frederick found himself presiding over a brand new controversy in his District A court today, and again, it was the Police prosecution that got him there. The drama unfolded when Frederick was hearing the cases of seven men jointly charged with a series of firearms-related and violence disorder offences dating back to May 2018. Police prosecutors soon became the target of the magistrate’s disappointment and the defence attorneys’ ire, when prosecutor Sergeant Vernon Waithe informed the court that the case could not proceed because the prosecution did not have the full disclosure documents to present to the accused as promised at the previous sitting. The defence then reminded Frederick of his previous ruling that today would be the final adjournment if the prosecution was not ready with the documents. This reminder forced the magistrate to take the police to task for failing to honour their commitment and for putting him in an embarrassing position. He told the police prosecutor: “I would not lightly write final adjournment unless I am sure you would get the file. “You are putting me in an embarrassing position. You all aint got a shred of paper. “Even if you have half a loaf, But you have not brought a shred of paper.” He went on to advise the prosecutors not to take all the blame, suggesting they should spread it to those who are really responsible for not having the disclosure file ready for today. He emphasized that he only wrote “final adjournment” based on the assurance in court from the prosecution that the promised documents would be available. But the defence lawyers, including Queen’s Counsel Michael Lashley, and a vocal group of accused men called on Frederick to keep his word and dismiss the case for lack of prosecution. The magistrate then gave them the commitment that if the documents were not presented by 4.30 p.m., he would throw out the case. But the accused and the lawyer became even more outspoken as they sought to pressure the magistrate into honouring his previous commitment that there would be no more adjournments if the police were not ready with the disclosure file to start the hearing. The prosecution had earlier informed the magistrate that the officer on the case had not completed his investigation.  So, the magistrate sent for him with a message that he should bring along whatever documents were ready.  But the officer came empty-handed, telling the court he was not informed about these documents. Saying that he was trying his best not to have to dismiss this “very serious case”, Magistrate Frederick instructed the investigator to go and bring “something”. Earlier, when the officer was asked about the commitment the prosecutors had given to have the documents completed for today, he told the court this was the first time he was hearing about it. On his return to the court with documents, more confusion broke out, with the lawyers and the accused complaining that the statements given to them by the investigator did not connect them to the charges and that the matter should be dismissed. Even at this stage, the magistrate was still pressing for a way out of having to throw out the matter, reminding the parties that he had until 4.30 p.m to make a decision and that there may be extenuating circumstances to justify more time. Eventually, after verbal exchanges between the defence legal team, the magistrate and the accused men, the police investigator was given until February 10 to have all disclosure files ready, failing which the case would be dismissed. The investigator noted he had 20 more statements to get and would be ready for the next court date. Frederick, who had come under fire last week over his sentencing practices, had sought to clear the air surrounding his decision to bond a man who allegedly attacked his ex-girlfriend with a cutlass. Frederick was lambasted on social media and by two women’s advocacy groups, after it was reported last Friday that he had placed Quincy Orlando John on a bond to keep the peace for six months after he admitted to assaulting his former girlfriend Natasha Lewis. At the centre of the public outcry was Frederick’s decision to save John from incarceration while he remanded Timothy Rugrat St Pierre to prison for a week for jumping on the counter at a Chefette restaurant. The National Organisation of Women (NOW) and Soroptomist International of Barbados publicly queried the magistrate’s ruling, suggesting that it appeared to rank business ahead of a woman’s safety. But in a packed District ‘A’ Magistrates’ Court and in the presence of NOW president Marsha Hinds, Magistrate Frederick revealed that he had not been privy to the full details of John’s case. He said Police prosecutor Sergeant Vernon Waithe, in revealing the facts, had chosen not to divulge that John had driven his car at the complainant or that he had attacked her with a cutlass. (BT)

SORRY FOR HAVING DRUGS – Though he’s listed by the court as unemployed, a resident of Lot 37, Jessamine Avenue, St Michael, told the court today that he now has a job that he would like to keep. When 31-year-old Jerome Mario Maurice Gilles went before District ‘A’ Magistrate Douglas Frederick on a drug possession charge, he was placed on a six-month bond today to keep the peace and warned that if he breached the bond, he would have to pay the court $1,500 forthwith. The magistrate further gave him notice that he could also be imprisoned for three months as well. Giles pleaded guilty to the drugs charge which resulted from a police traffic check yesterday along Culloden Road, St Michael. He was found with six grams of cannabis with an estimated street value of $30. Giles described his situation as “very unfortunate” coming at a time when he had just secured the kind of job he had been searching for for seven years. He informed the court he is now a Bob Cat operator and would not want to lose it. “I apologize for having it [drug] in my possession,” he told the magistrate, while admitting his only previous drug offence was 11 years ago. (BT)

ROCK THROWER REMANDED – A young St Lucian gay rights activist who is in Barbados looking into the state of the LGBTQ community here, today got more than he bargained for. Nineteen-year-old Ashnelle Shakim Johnny, who arrived in Barbados in November last year, ended up in prison on remand after pleading guilty to damaging a man’s motor car with a “big” rock. Johnny, who appeared this morning before District ‘A’ Court Magistrate Douglas Frederick admitted that he was under the influence of alcohol when he damaged the vehicle while it was parked at Dover Playing Field in Christ Church yesterday. Magistrate Frederick then ordered the teen, who was residing at Gall Hill, Christ Church, to compensate the owner – who was in court – for the $1,800 in damage to the car. Johnny informed the court he did not have any money, but he was allowed to “call his people” so they could come up with the cash. After a lengthy wait, friend, photographer Remy Rock turned up, but he did not have the money either. Rock explained to the court that when he was contacted, Johnny did not tell him anything about bringing money. After assuring the court he would have all or most of the funds for his friend by this Wednesday, Magistrate Frederick decided to remand the gay rights activist until then. Earlier during today’s hearing, the complainant testified that he had never seen the accused in his life. “I want to apologize. I am sorry for wrecking your car. I was under the influence. I am willing to compensate him,” Johnny told the court when asked if he had anything to say. He informed the court that while here on vacation, he was collecting information on the LGBTQ community and was scheduled to leave the island in April. (BT)

ADVOCATES OUTRAGED BY RECKLESS DRIVING – A video showing the terrifying moment a man was almost run over while standing on a sidewalk, has outraged road safety advocates. And while the matter is being investigated, police officers are appealing for information on the clip that surfaced over the weekend with two minibuses speeding along what appears to be a section of Black Rock Main Road, St Michael. When one minibus stops, the other forces through using the sidewalk to improperly overtake. In that hair-raising moment, a man on the pavement and in direct path of the minibus bearing down on him looks around just in time to scamper out of the way.(DN)

NUDE WOMAN AT ACCRA COMMITTED TO PSYCHIATRIC CARE – A nude female beachgoer who created a commotion at Accra Beach, Christ Church today before being led away by Police, is now a patient of the Psychiatric Hospital, lawmen said. Police said a 39-year-old Barbadian woman with a mental history had been admitted to the hospital but did not name her. Police spokesman Acting Inspector Rodney Inniss said constables responded to the scene after receiving a call from a National Conservation Commission beach ranger. Inniss said: “Police responded, spoke to the young lady, understood what was happening. “She came willingly to the Police Station, then she was taken from the station to the Psychiatric Hospital where was admitted.” Sometime after midday, the woman stripped off all clothes, prompting numerous but futile attempts from both rangers and members of the public to urge the woman to put her clothes back on. Rangers then called in officers from Worthing Police Station. In a video being circulated on social media, the woman could be seen walking around in the nude and using abusive language. In return, the woman received a mix of loud abuse, bewilderment and sympathy at the popular tourist spot at the peak of the winter tourist season. “You need to leave Barbados, Barbados is not for you… ” a male voice in the video said to the woman. “That’s all I am asking for, a one-way ticket,” the woman responded. An eyewitness told Barbados TODAY that the situation, which dragged on for about an hour, caught many beachgoers unawares. The eyewitness, who declined to be named, said: “People were surprised and running from she and all sort of things. “The rangers keep telling she put on the clothes and she wouldn’t hear the rangers. “She was even cursing the ranger and the ranger is who call the police. “The police had to carry she long without clothes because she won’t put on the clothes. “And she is a very beautiful lady, you know.” (BT)

ARCHER ABUSER GETS TWO YEAR BAN – A man who racially abused England fast bowler Jofra Archer during the first Test against New Zealand in November has been banned from attending international and domestic matches in the country for two years. Archer said he heard comments during the final day of the innings-and-65-run defeat at Mount Maunganui’s Bay Oval. After a police investigation a 28-year-old from Auckland admitted the abuse. He has been issued with a verbal warning for using insulting language. New Zealand Cricket (NZC) say they have contacted the man and written to him, advising of his ban until 2022. If he breaches the ban he could be “subjected to further police action”. “We’d again like to extend our apologies to Jofra and the England team management for such an unsavoury incident and reiterate once more that this type of behaviour is completely unacceptable,” said NZC spokesman Anthony Crummy. Crummy said NZC would not be identifying the individual. He added: “We want to thank the New Zealand police for their efforts in identifying the person responsible, and for making it clear that this type of behaviour will not be minimised.” Archer described the incident as “disturbing”, while New Zealand captain Kane Williamson said the abuse was “horrific” and that he hoped “nothing like that ever happens again”. (BT)

BRAVO OVER THE MOON AT RECALL – He might be the oldest member in West Indies’ T20 squad for the Ireland series, but Dwayne Bravo feels like a “kid” after getting the national call-up that will mark his return to international cricket after a nearly four-year long hiatus. According to Bravo, the three Ireland T20Is, which begin on January 15, were on his mind when he came out of retirement in December. So when he got a call from Roger Harper, the former West Indies allrounder and current chairman of selectors, last week, Bravo could not hide his excitement. “It’s a great feeling,” Bravo told the Trinidad-based radio station I955 FM yesterday. “I feel like a kid again when I first get a call from Mr Harper that welcomed [me] back to the team [to play international cricket and they were looking forward to have me back. It is something that was always on my mind since the change of leadership and stuff. So just happy I get the opportunity to represent the region again and I am looking forward to doing my best.” Bravo had a difficult 2019 after picking up a finger injury that kept him out of the Caribbean Premier League but he bounced back from that to lead the Maratha Arabians to win the Abu Dhabi T10 title last November. Asked if he might be a bit rusty, Bravo disagreed, pointing out fitness was his primary focus during his rehab. “Yeah, (playing) a lot of cricket is important, but for me because of the experience I’ve gained over the years, I am more concerned about my fitness. Obviously, I had this broken finger, (which) kept getting stronger. I started practising, played a couple of games for Queen’s Park (his local club in Trinidad), but over the years, despite not playing much cricket, I am still able to go there and compete and contribute in a very good way. “For example in the last T10 league, I hadn’t played any cricket in about four months prior to that and still was able to go there and deliver and also win the title. It is just happy time for me. Since I announced my return in December, my mind and my motivation was on this series and now that I’m selected I am very happy.” Bravo added that he was a “smarter” bowler now, even if the pace has dipped. “I’m a better bowler, I’m a better all-round cricketer. Obviously I’m older, so I will not be as quick as I used to be before, but I am also smarter and have a bigger knowledge on the game.” With the T20 World Cup scheduled in Australia in October, Bravo’s return is clearly an indication that Harper’s panel wants to not just blend experience and youth, but also plug holes. Harper had said that Bravo had been brought back with the “specific” intention of being West Indies’ death-overs specialist. Bravo is happy to take up the responsibility. “Death bowling is an art,” he said. “Not many people around the world have really nailed death bowling to the T. If you ask anyone in world cricket to name five death bowlers in the last decade, definitely my name will come along with Lasith Malinga, Jasprit Bumrah, Mitchell Starc. “It is not an easy time of the game, that’s why it is called death. A special skill is required to bowl in those situations. Most times, if you have the ball in the death overs, and you don’t win the game, everyone turn to you, and say, ‘okay, it is because of the last over’. But you don’t win or lose a game in the last over. So many times, I win a game in the last over and no one says anything. I have defended 6 runs in 6 balls. I have defended 11 runs in 6 balls. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. My stats over the years are there for everyone to see. Like I said, if you were to name three or five death-over specialists my name will be there.” According to Bravo West Indies’ bowlers have struggled to close out games, especially during the World Cup and even in the recent series against India in December. Now that he is back, he wants to mentor the other bowlers and teach them the tricks that could be deployed at the death. “Recently that is where West Indies did falter,” he said. “If you look at the 50-overs World Cup, if you look at the series in India, both in T20s and in ODIs, we lack a really, really proper death-overs specialist. “Again this is my motivation also to try and work with current bowlers. There’s [Sheldon] Cottrell, there’s Keemo Paul, there’s Alzarri Joseph, there’s Oshane Thomas, there’s Kesrick Williams. Collectively all of us have to get better, myself included. But with the experience that I have, I can get them to understand the importance of certain deliveries and when to bowl certain deliveries and work on a better finishing game plan.” Bravo said that he and Harper had not spoken about the T20 World Cup, where West Indies will defend their crown. The side still has 18 matches to go before that tournament and Bravo doesn’t want to look too far ahead, though he did reiterate his “full commitment” to the West Indies.  Bravo was named among a party for the T20s that include Kieron Pollard (capt), Sheldon Cottrell, Shimron Hetmyer, Brandon King, Evin Lewis, Khary Pierre, Nicholas Pooran, Rovman Powell, Sherfane Rutherford, Lendl Simmons, Hayden Walsh Jr., Kesrick Williams and Romario Shepherd.(BT)

FOCUS ON SHIMRON HETMYER – Windies skipper Kieron Pollard seemed to have to make good on his promise to take “tough decisions” after being dissatisfied with the team’s performance in the second ODI against Ireland. Top-order batsman Shimron Hetmyer was dropped from the team’s line-up for the third One Day International (ODI) against Ireland, on the back of what has been general frustration with the looseness of his strokeplay in the first two matches of the series. On Sunday, however, the skipper seemed to make it clear the move was just a temporary one with Hetmyer expected to return to the team’s line-up later this week.  In the two ODI games played, Hetmyer made 14 runs and was caught on both occasions after questionable shots. “These things happen, it just goes to show the dynamics of the team we have, Sunil coming in and getting that opportunity as well.  We want guys to be very, very hungry because there are other guys knocking on the door so we can’t relax and take anything for granted,” he added. “At the end of the day, all is well that ends well.  He is a jovial guy.  He helped out throughout the day and we look forward to him making runs in the T20 series.” Despite the frustration of some fans with Hetmyer’s mode of dismissal in the ODIs he played against Ireland, the Guyanese left-hander has been one of the relative successes in the West Indies middle order with 1430 runs in 45 matches at an average just below 37. He has scored five ODI centuries and four fifties. Hetmyer scored 139 against India at Chennai as recent as December 15. (BT)

CULTURE MINISTER TO ARTISTES: GET ON BOARD CRIME FIGHT – Artistes were Sunday urged by the Minister responsible for the arts to join a campaign against crime and violence. As he ended his speech at the National Independence Festival of Creative Arts(NIFCA) Awards Ceremony at the Sir Garfield Sobers Complex, calypsonian-turned-culture Minister John King made an plea as he invoked the memory of a slain NIFCA award-winning artist in an emotional plea. King said: “I want you to stop for a minute and think about the words that you just heard from The Don. “For those of you who might not remember we lost a NIFCA awardee Cecil Webb last year. “I want to take this opportunity to challenge the artistic community. Sometimes we try to play it safe. “In 1996 I wrote a song called How Many More and it seems like nothing has really changed since then but I want to challenge all of you… those in winners’ row, those who have never entered NIFCA before but to the entire artistic community it is time for you to join in this fight against violence be it your films, be it your paintings your music, your dance. “I challenge you let your voice be heard and let’s make Barbados a place of peace.” The audience which included dignitaries, specially-invited guests and awardees appeared to endorse the Minister’s urging with a huge round of applause. With just 14 days into the New Year, the island has already recorded one murder so far. Just before King’s speech, Irijah The Don performance of a song called Public Enemy Number One ended with the sound of a single gunshot. He depicted the life of a gang male leader and thug. With a gun in hand, The Don claimed it was “hot in the streets” and that “hard life”. Pulling a gun from his waistline, the trouble-maker was adamant that the only way he can gain respect, feed his family and survive is by living a life of crime. He repeatedly referred to his partner Charlie which turned out to be his weapon of choice. A sobering message of hardship, the song was both comedy and reality check on the violence that has gripped the nation. The talented Irijah Alkins walked away with a NIFCA gold award and the NIFCA Award for Originality for her performance. (BT)

NIFCA IS ON AMAZON – For the first time in its history, the National Cultural Foundation (NCF) has made the National Independence Festival of Creative Arts (NIFCA) Winning Words Anthology available on the world’s largest e-commerce website, Amazon, NCF Chief Executive Officer Carol Roberts-Reifer has announced. In an announcement that was greeted by resounding applause, she told the NIFCA Awards Ceremony held at the Sir Garfield Sobers Complex on Sunday evening: “One of the major achievements of NIFCA 2019 occurred in the discipline of Literary Arts as the NIFCA Winning Words Anthology was made available for sale on Amazon.com. Roberts-Reifer said the impact of the move was immeasurable and that it was just the beginning of more items being posted on the site. She said: “It may sound like a simple feat but imagine the exposure and the potential to be realised by the featured authors. It’s immense. “And you can be sure that they are many more authentic Barbadian items of all kinds that will soon be Amazon.com-bound.” While praising the successful staging of an NCF festival, the CEO said the goal of NIFCA was two-fold: “To create greater awareness and public interest in the creative exploits of Barbadians and to increase opportunities for participants to benefit from training as well as turn their ideas into enterprise and generate income.” There were major changes to NIFCA 2019. There was the live streaming of the performing Arts to a local and global audience; the decentralisation of the Visual and Photography exhibition; tributes to three icons of NIFCA; the inclusion of international judges and scouts; the introduction of the new Richild Springer Award of Excellence. Shakira White was the recipient of that inaugural award valued at $10,000. The crème de la crème of the arts world were feted, as awardees received gold, silver, bronze, special awards and sponsor awards. Shai Best copped the Prime Minister’s Scholarship Award valued at $35,000. He won the award for his dance piece entitled: Before the Bough Breaks, performed by Dancin’ Africa. Cheyenne Hall won the only NIFCA Gold in the photography category. Entered as a junior, she was awarded the NIFCA Reproduction Award and the Barbados Photographic Society Junior Lens Award, among others. NCF chairman Glyne Harrison congratulated all of the awardees in his welcoming remarks. “You are here because you took the time and you are committed and you have reached the level that you did that allows you to be one of the elite in Barbados creative space today,” he said.  (BT)

CHILDREN OF ISRAEL OUT TO ‘WAKE UP’ BAJANS – Just across the water in Independence Square where slaves were auctioned about 400 years ago, a group was spreading the word yesterday to the ‘Children of Israel’ in Barbados to change their lives. Members of the Israel United In Christ organization were on the island, part of their mandate to go “throughout the world to wake up the people of the diaspora”. “Our people have been scattered through slavery by the Atlantic Slave Trade, so we find where those ports are and we go back to those ports where we were made slaves and wake up our people to their true nationality,” said Captain Amaziah ben Israel. “They aren’t Bajans, we are not Jamaicans, we are not American. We are the children of Israel; that is what God called us. So we teach them repentance by the way of the Bible, God’s Word.” (DN)

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[ecotone99]

[RO][HM][RF] Sean and Emily

Sean Sean exits the coolness of the kitchen and walks outside. A bright morning air inches past him. As he begins the walk towards school, he notices his nose dripping. Thin mucous slants across his lips. He lets it drip onto his shirt, then blows out of his nose to enhance the mucous flow onto his jawline. After a 15 minute walk, he finds the school grounds. He looks down, and doesn’t speak with anyone until he’s inside and taken his backpack off. Peering up, he’s face to face with his classmate, Bill. Bill smells like a bowl of mayonnaise that had spilled in a public restroom stall, and was left out overnight.

He beams at Sean cross-eyed. “Heyo there.” Bill’s eyes are now tightly connected with Sean’s. Bill smiles and abruptly clutches Sean with a steely grip. A wave of tranquility and euphoria wash over Sean as he accepts Bill’s love for what it is - simple and pure. Sean was in work mode now - he had to accept and blend into his surroundings. Everything smelled different here than at home. Fourteen kids with below-average wiping and bathing technique packed into one class, produced a unique funk.

With the funk came an awareness of action. Every remark he made, every sigh he let out of his mouth, every nod of his head, contributed to Sean’s brand. Sean’s brand at this point was nearly indistinguishable from an intellectually disabled child. Though this class was not a ‘regular’ class, many of the students had regular routines. Some routines were more spectacular than others. When Suzy entered the room for the first time of the day, she would march up to every student and teacher, and gruffly inform them of the current play theme. For the last week, Suzy came to class committed to the game of marching around as a band leader. She would stop during recess and sing whatever song struck a chord in her heart. Most recently, the song was an amped up, dancable, and highly improvised rendition of “The Grand Ol’ Flag”.

Other students assumed a more subdued and casual role at school. Moy, whose real name was actually Moises, would repeat his own name like a Pokemon would. Moy’s genial utterances lent themselves to any situation. When a kid fell and broke his nose, Moy smiled and slyly mumbled. When Jeremy would get handsy with the teacher’s assistant, Moy smiled and mumbled again. Though shorter than most kids, Moy’s facial hair had matured to the point where he had grown a visible black fuzz above his lip. Sean found comfort in Moy’s deep vocal register and his warm appearance. While most ‘regular’ school kids laughed at Suzy, Sean had recently become frustrated with Suzy. He had to fight off the urge to express his annoyance at how uncoordinated Suzy’s verses were. “Pick a fucking line of words, mumble and mumble it repeatedly, until the end of the song! It’s not that fucking hard, it’s a stupid song anyways. Even for a retarded person, you are dull as shit sometimes.” Yelling something like this at Suzy would immediately out him as a fraud, though. Sean was not actually intellectually disabled. He had been been acting that way since the second grade.

Sean had noticed at the age of 7 that his older brother, Andy, didn’t have any homework. Nor was he questioned by his parents about academic pursuits. His teenage sister was questioned by their parents every day after school. The Q&A sessions had devolved around the time Sean was 7. She would end up screaming, and threw sharp objects around her room. She seemed miserable, and had started to see a therapist.

Andy didn’t have any of these issues. When it suited him, Andy could stare at the wall for an hour, no questions asked. Sean asked her why Andy seemed so happy and calm, and was left alone by their parents. In a pedantic tone, she replied that Anthony was special, and couldn’t think as well as everyone else, so he didn’t have homework. This sounded like a lot of fun. A lot of stress free fun. Sean too, enjoyed staring into space and thinking about how he felt, and how he perceived the world. He wanted that freedom to do whatever he felt like. Maybe go explore ditches, or play with the dog, or just draw shapes with a colored pencil. Sean was socially advanced at a young age. He recognized that freedom came with a specific way of acting. If he could act and convince everyone that he was similar to his brother, he surmised that society would leave him out of the pressures he saw everyone else so stressed about. A couple months after he passed the test to qualify as intellectually disabled, he noticed a distance between him and his mom. She seemed puzzled and sad. She talked to him less and less frequently. Months after Sean’s test, she had replaced spending time and playing with him with more yoga, cooking, and marijuana. Smoking in the car before hot yoga helped focus her energies to something pleasurable and painful. There she found a place within her to forget about the deck of cards that she had been dealt. His dad was convinced that Sean didn’t fit into the cultural norms expected by the test. Given some time and gently consistent encouragement, Sean could reach the normal classes again. He continued to talk to Sean in the same earthy tone as he had before he had heard the news. He’d naturally share with Sean stories about people he’d talked to in the coffee shop, and recent funny conversations with his coworkers.

For about four years this customized lifestyle had flourished beautifully. Sean lived the life of an intellectual monk in secret. Though lacking the formal education second to sixth graders receive, he had picked up enough in first and second grade to read. Instead of homework, he meditated in his room, and snuck books that his sister had finished. She was into Beverly Cleary-style novels or illustrated books about whales. He learned to enjoy them, and imagined himself as a character or another whale singing to his fish friends. Sometimes he would imagine himself as a sperm whale. He’d swim into the darkness, while singing about how his day was going, all with that beautiful range of tones. Any nearby creature would hear him, and maybe he’d make them happy.

He cultivated a keen connection with nature. He could go on a hike down the street whenever he wanted, and he got to snuggle with a support dog whenever he felt like it.

While yes, the stress-free lifestyle suited Sean, he had found lately that he actually yearned for some stress. He felt empty and hot as he overheard other ‘regular’ kids on the school yard talking about how they just barely figured out a math problem (or at least pretended they knew how to), or how stupid or cool the book of the moment was. They often bonded talking about how old and demented the teacher Mrs. Hapland was. Sean felt the urge to chime in with a funny face or some rude sound. He admired the rowdy group of boys at his school. Looking past their rough edges; he saw them as a group of humorous, emotional explorers. They were the outsiders of his grade; respected, but too extreme and wild for regular popularity. “Whoa, I wonder if the producers at that pregnant granny site you sent me would even pay her in dollars. You know she would probably accept coupons for tuna as payment!” They turned red and hooted together. Sean could visualize the anal devices they often embellished, and was willing to surf that pregnant grandmother website! Both ideas disturbed Sean’s soul. But the insults opened a gate of shared ridiculousness and joy.

With longing, tranquility, and a bit of annoyance at Suzy for staring at him while breathing loudly for the last half of class, the last bell of Sean’s sixth grade year rang. Purposefully aimless and quiet, he walked home among the cheering mass of kids. Emily The first week of a new school was rushing past Sean’s fingertips. Wild eighth graders showed the way to act for the 7th graders, who were nervous, but more and more willing to yell and dash around teachers. Some teachers tried to stop them. During lunch, Sean and the others in his (7th and 8th grade) class hung around a table where they were supervised by a teacher’s aide. They ate there, tucked away on a peaceful slab of concrete in the shade, several hundred yards from where the rest of the school ate lunch. The only hints of the rest of the student body came from the faraway buzzing of lunch conversations and the occasional gawky stroller.

About a quarter of his class was new this fall. Derek, the immigrant from Greece, seemed to smell oddly spicy rather than unclean, and appeared to be somewhat intelligent. Maybe testing standards were different in Greece, and he would eventually test out of the class. Another quarter of his class disappeared. Sean didn’t really care where they had gone to - he was too distracted by the pervading tranquility and joy coming out in waves from the new student. Her name was Emily. He had picked up her name in roll call (more of a roll-tell, as the teacher’s aide approached each student and read their name aloud). She faced away from the table the entire lunch period. Her line of sight met to the bunches of palm trees growing on the other side of the school fence, on the edge of a field of weeds. At lunch Sean could only see the side of her face, but he could feel Emily’s detachment from the social circle that was crudely and awkwardly forming with the new class.

Suzy was naturally growing into the ringleader... She had acclimated to the increased attention she received with the larger school population. Many of the kids at the middle school had never heard of her, and were delighted to hear her slurred renditions of pop songs of the day. Sean had to admit that on a basic level, Suzy was a talented entertainer. She could hold a note long enough for everyone to recognize the song she had chosen - from Backstreet Boys to Linkin Park. Suzy’s main criteria for which songs to sing was if they contained at least one note that was held for more than five seconds. She would make it ten seconds. It scared Sean to think that she was the closest thing he had to a friend. He couldn’t even talk at a regular pace with his sister, out of fear that she would tell his parents that he had grown smarter. Suzy, the round, squinty-eyed beam of joy that she was, gave him the most face-to-face time out of anyone in the class. Her confidence and joy were contagious and pleasant, so he was OK with it for now.

Emily appeared just a little more composed than the rest of their class. She conveyed a centered, and blissful aura. He could somehow sense a different type of soul just by standing near her.

Was Emily just a more vacant member of his class? Or was she just like him: faking an intellectual disorder to maintain a peaceful and meditative lifestyle? Perhaps the desperation of authentic friendship compelled Sean to imagine that someone like him existed out there. Surely no one was as crazy as he was.

One way to test out her skill at cleaning herself, and thus her intelligence, was with his nose. At lunch, Sean got up from the metal bench and pretended to stumble. He’d polished this stumbling act over the years. Running into something at least once a day kept everyone aware of the fact that he indeed belonged. It was painful at times, and sad that teachers were never surprised when he hurt himself. Sean’s commitment to his mentally disabled character drove him past this the pain.

The stumble led him to collide with her shoulder, and he smelt her hair. It was a refreshingly clean scent compared to his surroundings. It smelt like tangerines and green apples, in a basket on a sunny kitchen counter. Either her parents could afford a great housekeeper who personally cleaned her before school, or she was indeed regular.

...She was regular! Probably. His chest lightened, and his eyes relaxed as he savored her scent. He slowly, awkwardly grinned (another acting technique he had learned from observing his classmates). The happiness Sean felt when he smelt Emily for the first time was so strong that the only way he knew to express himself appropriately was to cross his eyes and salivate. The buildup of saliva came out as drool, which landed on her shoulder. Drooling was on brand for Sean in general, so no one else in his class noticed. Sean’s eyes flashed to Emily’s profile, a foot away from his face. No reaction, not a flinch. Sean was curious and puzzled now. Either she was actually strongly intellectually disordered, or she was too focused on the Southern California dry fall climate to be bothered. Regardless, Sean knew for certain that he had a crush on her.

A week later, during PE class, Sean was walking around the track when he noticed Emily and Bill had wandered off behind nearby bushes. He wandered to meet them, and found Emily and Bill staring at each other. Emily’s eyes wavered and shuttered. Bill was definitely smiling as he thoroughly picked his nose. In his smile was a contagious feeling of bliss. Was the bliss from the fact that Bill felt great with his finger up his nose, or was it from something else? She shyly returned his smile. Their eyes were locked, and she felt a surge of heat pass through her body as his eyes blatantly stared at her chest. Unexpectedly, his arm shot out and she felt the same finger recently buried in his nose gently making circles around her upper chest bone. While her eyes yelped, she still thought no one was looking, and kept quiet. When she looked down at her chest in shock, she realized he had rubbed dark yellow mucus a few inches above where her bra started inside of her shirt. Hopefully none of the teachers would connect Bill’s hue of mucous with her T shirt, she thought. Sean watched from behind the corner, he choked on his own despair and jealousy. How could Emily not smell Bill from a mile away? Emily’s lack of “no” must stem from one if two places. Either she herself has special needs (and this situation is totally normal), or she’s allowing someone with special needs to touch her like this. Or maybe... she thinks Bill is ‘regular’. Bill was in fairness, the most handsome of the special class, and possibly on par with Sean himself. Bill had in fact been mistaken by a couple of raucous 8th grade girls earlier that week who had asked him to “show that D”. Bill laughed and hugged them instead. But Sean was convinced she was normal, which meant she had to be aware that Bill was not normal- they were in the same class after all. Did this make her consent to Bill’s fondling... somehow illegal? At this point in his “special needs” act, Sean had suspected he was breaking some sort of law as well. He wasn’t any better than her.

Why couldn’t he blurt anything out, and stop this from happening? Though he didn’t realize it at the time, Sean’s constant plotting meant he was not used to acting out on an impulse. Unable to hold his composure, Sean found himself slumping away from the corner, carrying a shrunken heart. A dark grinning thought occurred to him as he gazed at the hedges on his way back to the lunch table - maybe he had a shot using Bill’s technique. Surely she was just into Bill for the physical sensation or thrill of misbehaving - there was no way they could have an emotional connection. Sean was sure of it. He could try Bill’s way...! No, he would feel guilty trying to touch her body just for the thrill. This wasn’t the first time he had thought to give in to his physical desires.

In sixth grade, he had found himself attracted to his classmate Lisa. She was one of the first girls to wear a non-sports bra. He grabbed it through her shirt behind a maple tree during lunch recess. The puzzled, dead-eyed smile she gave in return still haunted him. Brittany had flashed him behind the same tree in fifth grade while he was picking a flower. This was a shock to him, as Brittany was in the regular class. It turned out she was flashing Gary, who was also in her class, who was standing several yards behind him. Gary was more dismissive than surprised - “Now you're bringing him into this? I’ve told you before, you’re sick.” Sean stood in the same spot every lunch recess for the next three months. She flashed him once more, only when Gary was there. Gary was less emotionally abusive to her the second time it happened.

If there was an emotional connection between Emily and Bill, it would be short-lived once she found out Bill was indeed mentally handicapped. Well… maybe … she’s OK with that, Sean thought. A mentally handicapped boyfriend would slowly nod and agree with her like a drowsy puppy no matter what she said. Through the constant agreement and easy conversation, she could convince herself that they were meant to be. If her parents let her date other mentally handicapped students, she might even be able to have him over to her room eventually. Was it ethical for Emily to have an emotional or physical connection that fit into the world that she had created for herself? Who was Sean to interrupt that world?

Part of Sean’s philosophical identity revolved around letting people do what they wanted to do. If people around him were choosing what they wanted, they would be less likely to lash out and agitate the calm and happy state of existence Sean had cultivated over the past four years. Was his current state of comfort something he was willing to risk to make a connection with the only person that could understand him? If he came out as normal to her, and she was actually mentally impaired, would she be able to remember enough tell an adult? If she were normal, would she automatically like him and be friends? Maybe she’s normal, and also into mentally handicapped dudes. Should Sean blow his cover and act like himself, or try to convince her that he too was mentally handicapped? If he exposed his cover, and she was not into him, she could easily tell on him to the authorities, and he would likely be sent to a mental institution. No girls, no rogue classmates, no home cooking for years.

He felt a hunch that they would get along, but he barely knew anything about her. It was hard to get to know each other since they had met the same way thousands of intellectually disabled kids had met. It was rare that any lasting relationships came out of friendships formed in the special education classroom. Something in his heart compelled him on, past the social obstacles, pass her dim love interest in Bill, and past a guaranteed future of security. Screw it, he was into it. He had to try to communicate with her.

So far all they had said to each other was a vague description of their family’s, and a few compliments. To be honest, Sean had savored and loved the process of courtship so far. It was a slow process though. He burped and winked at her. She flittered her eyes back at him. She screamed like the Pokémon Ponyta. He became hot and flustered, and laughed out loud. This teasing could go on forever! He had to know if she was worth pursuing. He had to kiss her and tell once and for all if she was special needs or not.

He knew what to do the next day during PE. He previously found an orange tennis ball in a gutter on a hike a few weeks back. For some reason, he was carrying it in his pocket around class today. He threw it near the shed when no teachers were looking. His heart skipped when she slowly veered off the track to follow the ball. He followed.

They were on the side of the shed, it was damp and smelled like grass clippings. Out of sight, Sean had the thought to drop all pretenses of his act - moving slowly now might ruin his chance. In a normal voice, he spoke to Emily “I really like you”. As he was aware that the word “you” had come out of his mouth, he immediately felt the corners of his mouth curling up, and a bright warmth beneath his dimples. Her eyes widened and then became slightly furrowed. Was she bewildered, or just not able to understand speech at the rate he was talking to her? Still smiling, he quickly kissed her. They could feel each other smiling as they kissed. She tasted… normal. She seemed… alive. Her centered energy seemed to dance around her smile as he pulled back from the kiss. Her pimples turned a shade brighter as their eyes connected. From that point on, Sean knew for certain that there was another, fully functioning mind behind her smile. Quickly they got back into walking around the track lest the lesbian PE teacher notice them.

Out of Class

Although everyone at school had smartphones to text, Sean rarely texted anyone. None of his classmates could read that well, and trying to obtain their number was a chore. His parents had set his phone up with their number, his sister’s number, and his brother’s number. He was debating whether to add more contacts. The first problem to get more contacts was who would text him back. Emily was the first person he had met who might text him back! He passed her a note that day in class.

~Your number?

~542 7856

...

Hey, I’ve thought about it, and I still like you.

Oh you, you are nice.

So are you:). A nice kisser:)

...

No response.

Worry crept into Sean’s mind as he sat cross-legged in his room. He had to travel deep inside that night’s meditation to try to escape the sudden change of emotions.

Two days later,

...

Thanks, you!:)

…

His heart raced. She was being real with him. He was part of her life. This was awesome. Sean broke right into his most pressing question:

...

Do you ever think about telling your parents that you’re actually normal?

...

Could she still be playing mentally handicapped? Could he have guessed wrong? Maybe she can’t spend so much time texting him since it would raise suspicions. Surely all of their text history must be stored somewhere. She must be aware of that. That’s why she's not texting him back. Or... maybe she just doesn’t like him, he thought. He must move forward. Onwards.

….

Do you really like me?

….

A day passes, then she replies:

…

Meet me during lunch tomorrow, next to the palm trees.

…

“Uh, we can’t do that again”

“Do what?”

“Act like we’re… with each other.”

“You mean kiss?”

“Yeah.. we could jus-

“-Those kisses were awesome!”

She blushed.

“Yeah, I guess. Sean, do you have a girlfriend?”

His heart was welling… it was finally happening. He had worried so much about the delayed text responses. She was going to ask him out! Love is so strange.

“Nope! I wouldn’t mind maybe being your boyfriend.. um... someday.”

Stupid. That was the dumbest thing he could have said. Still, he felt a wave of optimism at the moment he said it. He had put his feelings out there, awkwardly and shyly, but they were there.

“Ummm.. yeah. There are some details though, you should know about.”

“OK… What do you mean by that?”

“Sean, I won’t sugar coat this. I’m into retards.”

“Oh. Do you think I’m retarded? Are you offended that I use the word retard?”

“No, and no. I think we’re alike.”

“I see. OK.”

Sigh, and a silent pause.

“How can you be into those types? Are you into Bill?”

“Well, it’s hard for me to explain. I’ve never had to explain this to someone out loud. OK… Our families have known each other since we were small. It fits.”

“Alright, I get that. He’s your child love. I had one too. Kind of... But… Doesn’t it depress you to date someone who’s clearly special needs?”

“All of our needs are special, Sean. He’s especially gentle. He treats me like I want to be treated. He takes the time to get to know me slowly. He does everything slowly, with deliberation and confidence. It’s really very charming. If there’s one thing I appreciate about the people we pretend to be, it’s that they genuinely take extra time to learn everything. You, though. You’re kind of fast and unstable. You just go up and kiss someone you don’t even know.”

She continued:

“Plus, I don’t even know if you like me. Maybe you just feel horny, and you feel like you have a chance with me. I’m covered in pimples and in the special needs class. Don’t you think you could do better? Maybe you could find someone who likes talking about anal toys and grandma porn like I can tell you do.”

Sean could feel his heart breaking. His instincts had led him here. His one non-disabled, beautiful, pimple-covered friend. Thought he was crazy all along. Maybe he was. Maybe he had chuckled and shared some of the punchlines made by the rogue group who would hang out near the special needs table at lunch. They would test our their most extreme material in front of his class. The teachers didn’t seem to care.

Even if Sean was crazy, he knew what he felt. Confident, with love in his heart, he stood his ground.

“I really like you though. I don’t like you because I think you’re an easy target. You’re the most beautiful soul I’ve ever met. You’re the first person I’ve met…who I can be myself around. You make me feel… wild. But gentle at the same time! And I can tell by the way you smile and beam when we talk slowly that you feel the same around me. I want to keep trying to dart in and kiss you. I love it! Is there honestly anyone else out there who’s lived this type of double life, who can truly understand us better than we can each other?”

Emily’s eyes darted, and began to tear.

“Maybe someday we can even tell our parents that we’re not disabled. I’ve been thinking about it for a little while anyways. I know we just met, but it feels right.”

She locked eyes with his, and narrowed her gaze.

“I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon, Sean. We can just be special friends. It’ll take time, Sean. After a while, you’ll feel better than before. You’ll have plenty of friends besides me.”

As he pondered the next few days, Sean strove to see the wisdom in Emily’s stance. She was fully committed to acting like she had an intellectual disability, and she was absolutely thriving. He thought, yeah, he could still have fun in his circumstances. So what if his soul mate didn’t want to kiss him, and enjoyed to be slobbered on. This must be a pretty typical experience. His dad would say this was natural. Everything was natural apparently.

His thoughts soared past his current heartbreak. He imagined his future life, and it was bright and full. As a grocery bagger, he might be able to look down housewive’s blouses. At the water exercise classes, he could stay in shape, get creative with some water dance moves, and exchange simple greetings with the elderly. In a couple of decades, he could get a job as a greeter at the local Wal-Mart. With that Wal-Mart money, he could eventually get his own place, and masturbate whenever he wanted.

On a deeply personal level, Emily had shown him through example that he could live a happy life by loving a person with intellectual disabilities, just like she did. He could look past his future girlfriend’s characteristic Down's Syndrome eyes, straight into her heart. Who knows, maybe he wouldn’t be stuck with an intellectually disabled girlfriend in the future. Maybe there were more sleepers like Emily, who acted like they were mentally disabled, but were in fact just cruising through life like Sean. The more he thought about it and encouraged himself, the more likely this seemed. Things were looking up for Sean. He had convinced himself that he was a happy person, on the road to an average lifestyle, left alone by everyone.

Following each striving peak of self-confidence, however, doubts from the back of his mind would simmer to the surface. When they did, darkness and hopelessness would take hold. From an honest perspective within himself, he realized he was simply planning how to fill the void of his soul mate’s rejection by stuffing down his sadness. He couldn’t block her face out of his head when he was by himself. His sister’s books only delayed the escape from the feeling of her smiling kisses. Why did he still feel so strongly towards her? She had turned something on inside of him that didn’t have an off switch. He couldn’t sit still with his thoughts.

If he started speaking his mind to the people in his life, and admitting he was faking a mental disability at this point, he would get sent to an asylum. Or to jail. No… you know what, his life was cool, and it could only get cooler. Several times a day, he would inwardly rally around how cool he was. He had plenty of special friends. He had the rest of his life to make friends with other people while he pretended to be disabled. At least until he graduated high school, then he could travel to Mexico maybe. He could blend in as a Mexican. Then perhaps, he would find his bliss. But that was years away.

He felt afraid to acknowledge how much he was still into Emily to anyone else. It was difficult because they were in the same class. A couple weeks after they had last talked, he saw she and Bill were driving ahead of him in his parents car after school. Bill and Emily were in a convertible. At the sight of them together, he felt a burning sadness, and realized his cheek was wet. Was he crying, or had Bill’s drool, which was visibly flowing out of the convertible into the wind, landed on him? Either way, Sean tried to hide his emotions in front of his parents. He hid his feelings from her as well. Trying to tell her how he felt was dangerous and probably fruitless. Her head was in a happy and stable place, so he had to honor her choice not to see each other.

He eventually told Suzy how he felt, and she sighed, smiled and hugged him. It helped a bit. His depression and headaches were only temporary, he would tell himself. If he just wrote about what made him feel happy, maybe it would stick. Maybe he would grow. When he returned to his desk to draw colored circles, he wrote a few sentences about how he felt onto a notepad, then hid it under the floorboards of his room. The next day he took it out again, and continued the process of recording his feelings. As he progressed, he felt a burden slowly releasing. It was as if a higher force grasped his heart from the ground with tweezers, and placed it back into his chest.

He planned to post his story as a work of fiction on Reddit through an anonymous browser. At least someone else might read this and be happy someday, even if his life was going to be mediocre and depressing. Maybe some people would get a laugh out of it.

A month later, and he had finished the love story of his life. Before posting it on Reddit, he copied and pasted it in a text message to Emily.

He sent it.

…

Author’s notes

One main them I had in mind while writing this story is the feeling of the universe frightened at perceiving itself. Amidst a sea of falseness and mental retardation, Sean and Emily see the potential they could bring out in each other, and it invokes fear.

I chose the middle school backdrop because it represents a time of rapid growth and questioning values. It also adds a light-heartedness to the characters and storyline.

The intellectual disability act to the outside world and contrasting ‘normal’ inner mind represents how love can inspire people to find courage to be themselves, even if it’s difficult and uncomfortable. Hopefully the weird setup inspires people to use their minds.

A theme that really fueled Sean and Emily’s original and continued decision to act intellectually disabled was their shared value of inner harmony. As a culture, Americans are really into valuing inner harmony and wellness. This story is an exaggerated take on the cost of wellness and serenity. How far should a person go to preserve inner peace?

Overall, the story is meant to poke fun and raise questions at the desire to fit in and stick to the path of least resistance. The paths Emily and Sean were on before they met each other, while unconventional and maybe illegal, offered them very little resistance, along with some peace and happiness. Can their choices leading up to seventh grade be labeled as thoughtful and modern? Is it worth throwing everything away to connect with someone else? Will the act of connecting with each other and revealing their true nature to their world make both people happier, or lead to incarceration?

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