#there is one more scene that’s very mild but I don’t have a clip of it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
sleepfight · 22 days ago
Text
⚠️ VEILGUARD SPOILERS ⚠️
A few people asked me about the lyrium poisoning scene from this gifset so here you go! There are multiple instances of Rook feeling the effects of kissing a pretty girl lyrium and they are part of Harding’s romance path. I LOVE YOU MY TOXIC SHORT QUEEN
4 notes · View notes
chowtrolls · 1 year ago
Text
Detectable
Google Docs Link
Mordamere is a rather mild planet, roughly a two-week flight by commercial space ship. The soil is high in iron and rust, making it hard to farm on and very red. The trolls who live here wear long sleeves and facial covering to keep themselves safe from the dusty air. The only seadwellers around were the CO’s and high ranking officers who supervised the bustling military activity just out of the main cities. Despite its bleak skies, dry weather, and busy military ports, the native residents of Mordamere boast a vibrant music scene. Or, so Rumble explained as she read the travel pamphlet to her guardian once again. 
“Do you think they have guitars and shit? Like normal band stuff? Trumpets?” It would be difficult to hear her voice from under the protective face scarf, if she didn’t have an earpiece with a microphone in it. Lockjaw was just as covered up as she was. This rendered his fins almost useless. The microphone connected to his language processing chip so he could still hear her excitement. 
“They are still trolls, they came from Alternia.” To the outsider looking in, Lockjaw hadn’t said a word. It went directly to Rumble’s earpiece. The bundled up fuchsia didn’t seem to mind as she tailed the blueblood. 
“But they’ve lived here for centuries! Maybe they have new stuff! If we find a pawn shop can I get a Mordamerian trumpet?” 
The audio clip of a sigh played in her earpiece. ���Maybe. We do have a job to finish.”
Rumble huffed softly, looking up from the pamphlet to glower at the case on Lockjaw’s back. Inside was a weapon he very rarely ever used. “Yeah, but you’re just gunna…you know, S-N-I-P-E him. That’s so-” 
“Rumble.” Lockjaw stopped suddenly, turning around to make eye contact with his charge. She froze in place. Her glare moved from the rifle to his eyes, then to his hands. Her guardian was too frustrated to speak, opting instead to sign to her. It was highly unlikely, in his reasoning, that anyone here would pay much attention to a stranger using sign language. Especially considering the wide range of sign languages. “Spelling it out loud is no better than saying it out loud.” 
“Okay? Nobody can hear me under this scarf! Except you! You still won’t tell me why we have to do it this way!” Though her face was mostly covered, Lockjaw could see her pout loud and clear. 
“Because we do. Because it's easier this way. Because I don’t want to get caught. A million reasons, Rumble. Stop arguing. Please. We’re going to be late.” The blueblood waited for Rumble to groan in defeat before continuing on. The Handler had said to be in the apartment just before the sun had set. It would be around then that they would call the apartment itself, rather than paging Lockjaw. He cycled through the plan again, and again, and again, as the pair made their way through the dusty streets. 
Stake Deepbite out. Watch where he goes. The day before he leaves, take him out. Dispose of the rifle, shells, and case in the dumpsters down the alley. Stay three more days in the apartment two floors down. Leave. Easy.
- - -
Staking out a target was the hardest part to Rumble. Thankfully, Lockjaw didn’t require her to tag along with him- in fact, he gave her specific instructions to stay as far from him as possible. The young fish wasted no time planning out all the sights she would see, running each idea by her guardian first to ensure she was far enough away. Luckily for Rumble, their target was not a very adventurous man. 
At roughly the same time every day, the Imperial Deepbite would leave the hangars and mosey his way down to the restaurants, in the downtown portion. He ate at the same one almost every day, only changing his routine once or twice. Lockjaw observed from across the occasionally busy street at one of the coffee shops. He would enter at roughly the same time every day, order the same thing, and sit in one of the window seats with a stolen Fleet-assigned laptop.
The story, as he told the barista who asked, was that he was an auditor for the Fleet. He was going over the maintenance files of the various ships to ensure all parts and pieces were up to date with their care. He even went on a small, sign language tangent about how often Fleet ships overlooked the expiration date of parts they never considered important, such as seats. Seats are floatation devices AND provide protection from incoming fire! The barista didn’t seem too impressed by his scpheal, but bought it nonetheless. And considering most trolls continued to wear facial protection indoors, nobody questioned the state of his face. 
So, every day, Lockjaw put on the persona of a Fleet Auditor. Alongside his stolen spaceship audit spreadsheets, Lockjaw kept a detailed record of the Imperial Deepbite’s schedule. Who he left with. The names and ranks of those who most often accompanied him. What he ate, which trolls served him. On the weekend, Deepbite would leave the hangar later, and stay late at one of the bars. Lockjaw observed him from the scope of his rifle, watching the bartender prepare and serve the fuchsia’s drink, how long it took Deepbite to drink it, who he was there with, and what he was doing. Deepbite was mostly followed by violets, a few bluebloods, other highblood officials. His main accomplice was Typhon Iottah, the Catalyst, a violet with crutches. There was another violet, too, but Lockjaw determined that his best bet for a successful hit would be to strike when the fuchsia was accompanied by his friend on crutches. 
Meanwhile…Rumble explored. She’d return to the apartment at their agreed time. She would recite the events of her day with such vibrant excitement, it almost made Lockjaw forget what they had been there for. Music venues, local concerts, coffee shops on the other side of town. She met locals, visited thrift stores, even found some instruments she thought were exciting. By the end of their three-week stay, however, Rumble had run out of things to do. As such, on Deepbite’s final day, Lockjaw asked her to stay with him. 
To spot him, he insisted. To provide alibi. 
But mostly to prevent her from getting caught. 
15 notes · View notes
weirdthoughtsandideas · 2 years ago
Text
Time for Big Mouth season 6 summary!
I do this every year and that’s basically the only Big Mouth post I make for the year. So let’s go!
THE SONGS IN THE SEASON WAS… BANGERS!!! And now the new song album is out!!! With all the songs from season 4-6
The fucking ”Girl we got with your mom” song will forever be stuck in my head though now
Andrew’s parents :( I feel bad for him.
Him and Bernie were so cute :,) And i’m lowkey glad we saw her clips cause… some of the stuff reminded me of stuff I’ve done… what can I say the show really reminds you of the weird shit you did when you were in middle school
Anyway I am tempted to do that list lmao
Aren’t they supposed to be 14 now? They’ve been 13 since S1-
WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHO IS THE PRINCIPAL
This season was a little like a ”middle season” where I feel like not as much happened. But I do know they’ve been picked up for S7 so this is probably intentional.
I miss Ali and Jessi’s scenes :( But I do know why they didn’t have much interaction except that ”does anyone have a tampon” scene. First is that this season focused much more on family - and also, since stuff that happens on human resources also affects Big Mouth, Jessi doesn’t have a love bug since she got fired. Maybe Human Resources will pick this up in their next season. We’ll see.
ASEXUAL CHARACTER! Also the fact that his hormone monsters are so ok with it.
CONNIE AND MAURY’S BABY I love how they just fit right in
Missy finally got her period! I was actually wondering if she had gotten it or not. Also ”it’s brown, are you sure I haven’t pooped myself?” wow that’s relateable
Very accurate representation of a yeast infection lmao… god why are female genitals like this we constantly have to look out for stuff like this all the time
Love how they’re always going crazy in the last episode of the seasons. FUCKED UP FRIDAY YEAH IT SURE WAS
Lola and Jessi’s friendship awwww
THAT ONE TIME ANDREW BUMPED INTO MISSY AND SHE WENT ”GET TF AWAY FROM ME” AND ASKED HIM TO STAY AT LEAST A 2 METER DISTANCE LMOOO
I really love how things are starting to get better for Lola :) She deserves it
And Jay :( He deserves better
I wonder if Delilah will get any monsters. Babies have some monsters too I vet (besides the need demon)
Ok so when I was 13, I had found a lot of ”transformed into a baby/forced to be a baby” stories on wattpad. I don’t know why, I found one and suddenly I had read like 20 of them. I was so weirded out by them but I also was intrigued to it. So anyway, with all the diaper jokes, people wetting and shitting themselves, Jessi switching bodies with Delilah and having to spend the time as a baby, I kinda cringed because. I had read a lot of stories and I sat there like just questioning why I ever did. This show is great to remind yourself about the weird stuff in your adolescense <3 And that’s both the charm and the con of it hahahaha
To be fair, I read far worse things on wattpad… those things were MILD to the weird shit I otherwise found on that site
Anyway! Liked the season! Didn’t feel like as much was happening, but I am still gonna rewatch it 😄 I always find new things upon rewatch
39 notes · View notes
queenshelby · 3 years ago
Text
My Friend’s Father (Part Six)
Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader
Warning: Age Gap, Mild Sexual References
Words: 1,937
Notes:
I have decided to make this into a series.
Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.
 *************************
The Afternoon Before (Cillian’s POV)
Before the opening, Denise had the opportunity to show both of her parents the art which she had created.
Neither of them had seen the photographs before and were rather excited to see what all the fuss was about.
‘Alight, alright…here they are’ Denise said with excitement and, whilst her mother smiled and told her how beautiful they were, Cillian gulped harshly in surprise.
‘Dad, do you not like them?’ Denise asked as he stood there, chin dropped and speechless.
‘They are amazing’ he confirmed although he wished that he had some warning beforehand when it came to the content of the pictures.
Cillian wasn’t sure whether he should look at the pictures in detail or whether he should try and look away. Seeing you like this was difficult and his manhood soon began to stir as his eyes gazed over your perfectly shaped breasts and your messy hair.
Tumblr media
The Opening Night
You stood in front of the large mirror in your bedroom at your parent’s house just outside Galway and tried hard to clip your hair up which had always been a struggle.
Somehow, you managed and the tucked-up hair allowed you to show off your exposed shoulders and back.
The black dress you had chosen for the gallery opening was made out of stretchy fabric. It was simple but yet elegant and left the entirety of your back exposed while a rim of fabric ran across your neck.
You were lucky that your breasts were small as there was no way you could wear a bra with your dress and you certainly didn’t need to.
The dress was flattering around your hips and finished just below your knees.
‘You look nice’ Connor said as he picked you up from your house and, fortunately for you, your father wasn’t home in order to make a scene about your revealing outfit. Your parents were strictly catholic and wouldn’t have approved, nor did they approve of Connor who, in their opinion, was way too old for you.
‘I look nice, do I?’ you chuckled, having hoped for him to choose a different word perhaps, such as ‘beautiful’ or ‘stunning’.
‘Yes, very nice…let’s go, huh?’ he then said and you nodded, following him to the car.
Tumblr media
The drive to the gallery took only 15 minutes and, after Connor had handed his car keys to the valet, you walked inside the building where, almost immediately, you spotted Denise and both of her parents.
‘Oh wow, you look amazing’ you said to Denise before giving her a big hug. As usual, her clothes were colourful and unique.
‘So do you in your sexy black dress…Connor, isn’t she stunning?’ Denise winked, before saying hello to him also.
‘Yeah, she looks nice’ Connor then said, causing Cillian, who was standing behind Connor, to cock an eyebrow. You noticed him looking at you with burning eyes, clearly having noticed the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra.
‘Hey Y/N’ he then said, before giving you a friendly hug as well before you greeted Denise’s mother the same way.
Breathing in Cillian’s scent took your breath away and you immediately forgot about Connor by your side until Denise took it upon herself to introduce Cillian and her mother to Connor as well.
Just as you got talking, the others arrived and it was Amalie who stole the show, wearing the shortest dress she could have possibly found.
You couldn’t help but notice that Connor was staring at her and it was obvious to you that he would have liked it if you wore something more revealing like her.
‘Can’t walk in heels Y/N?’ Amalie then asked sarcastically and you shook your head, wearing nice but flat sandals with your dress.
‘I never saw the point of high heels. They are rather impractical, don’t you think?’ you asked, but Amalie ignored your question and immediately began to hit on Cillian instead which was rather amusing to watch.
***
After the initial chat, you allowed Denise and her parents to talk to some of the other artists and guests and disappeared into the crowd with Connor, trying to hunt down the photographs Denise had taken and which you had not yet seen.
‘You didn’t tell me you knew Cillian Murphy’ Connor said somewhat surprised and you told him that he was just Denise’s father so you didn’t think to mention it. Of course, you would never have wanted Connor to know that you had, in fact, slept with Cillian.
‘Whoah…and you also didn’t tell me that you look like this beneath all your clothes’ Connor then said all of a sudden, interrupting you mid-sentence, as he glanced over to where the photographs of you were displayed.
‘Well, if you had bothered to take off my clothes first before we had sex then you would have known’ you winked as you grabbed one of the glasses of champaign from the bar.
‘We were short of time but, perhaps, I can make it up to you tonight’ Connor then winked and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, thinking back at this one night a week or so go which was the first and last time you had sex.
‘Apparently you were short for time, yes’ you said teasingly, reminding him that, after ten minutes of missionary, he realised that the football was on and left you high and dry and certainly dissatisfied.
‘Tonight, you can show me what’s under this dress and I will worship this body of yours’ Connor said and his comment made you chuckle.
‘We will see’ you smirked and, just as you did, Cillian walked past the two of you and smiled.
You hoped that he didn’t hear any of this but, then again, if he did, you hoped that it made him at least a little bit jealous.
‘So, what do you think?’ you then suddenly heard Denise ask from behind and, because you were so busy starring at her father, you didn’t realise that she was there.
‘These pictures are amazing Denise’ you said as you were extremely happy with the result.
‘That’s what dad said too actually’ she then said, causing you to blush.
***
As the evening went by and Connor had one glass of wine after another and making several inappropriate and rather controlling remarks, you knew it was time to leave but, Denise didn’t want you to go just yet and, in the end, you told Connor to take a taxi home and that you would see him in the morning.
Luckily for you, he agreed and you were beyond embarrassed by his behaviour as he was trying to dictate what you could do and what you couldn’t as the night went on.
‘He is…uhm…interesting Y/N’ Denise’s mother then said before continuing on and asking you whether you don’t think that he’s a bit too old for you.
‘Oh, I see, you spoke to my parents’ you chuckled as you watched Cillian sip on his glass of wine while cocking an eyebrow.
‘I am just saying, I can see their concerns’ she went on to say, causing Denise to roll her eyes and it was at this point when Cillian interrupted his ex-wife.
‘That’s enough. I think she’s old enough to make her own decisions’ Cillian said and it wasn’t until, some point later when you followed Cillian down one of the hallways to get your coats from the cloak that you had some privacy and Cillian voiced his concerns.
***
‘Be careful alright’ he said after he told you that he was concerned that Connor acted in a controlling way and that he didn’t like the way he was speaking to you.
‘This is not how I meant it Y/N. I am just trying to look out for you’ he said and you couldn’t help but laugh, which is when he pulled you around the corner of the hallway, worried about someone listening to your conversation.
‘Listen, I don’t need you to tell m what to do. I am not your child’ you huffed out somewhat irritated by his comments and you weren’t sure whether it was his concerns that bothered you or the fact that he never contacted you again.
‘Look out for me? That’s funny. It really is’ you chuckled before asking him why he had never contacted you after your visit to Dublin.
‘Why would I have contacted you? I made it pretty clear that, what happened between us, was a mistake. It can’t happen again’ Cillian huffed out and, just as he did, you shook your head in disbelieve.
‘Alright, that’s fine…but stay out of my private life then, please. I don’t need this kind of lecture about who I should be with and who I shouldn’t be with from you’ you said angrily.
‘Common Y/N, you can’t tell me that you actually have feelings for a guy like this. You are more sensible than that’ Cillian said with frustration.
‘I think neither of us have been acting sensibly lately Cillian, wouldn’t you agree?’ you asked, raising your eyebrows.
‘That’s not the same Y/N. Like you said, it was just sex between us. But with him, it’s more than that isn’t it? You are dating him, are you not?’ Cillian then asked sternly.
‘Oh my god, are you jealous?’ you asked angrily.
‘I am not fucking jealous. Why would I be jealous?’ Cillian then asked annoyed.
‘How the fuck do I know. I don’t know how the hell your brain works. After all, you made the same mistake twice. Once, I can understand, but twice?’ you asked with fury.
‘And so did you’ Cillian blurted out.
‘Uhm, yeah, but I didn’t say it was a mistake, you did. For me, it wasn’t’ you huffed out.
‘Fuck, this isn’t going anywhere, is it?’ Cillian then conceded angrily and you shook your head.
‘No, it’s not, just leave me alone, okay?’ you then huffed out angrily and, just as you did, you could feel Cillian’s hands on your hips and your back pressed against the wall behind you near the stairway.
There was an awkward silence between you as you stared into each other’s eyes and, just after Cillian looked over to both sides to ensure that you were alone, he pressed his lips onto yours firmly.
You parted your lips slightly, allowing his tongue to invade your mouth as you gave into this kiss. Your hands were soon tangled in the top of his hair while his hands were caressing your face.
But then, all of a sudden, you pulled away and shook your head.
‘No…no I am not letting you do this again’ you huffed out before walking off.
Whilst you wanted him badly, you didn’t want him to walk away from you again, saying it was a mistake.
   Tag List:
@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​
@peaky-cillian​
@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  
230 notes · View notes
cinnaminsvga · 5 years ago
Text
Dumbo | Jungkook (M)
Tumblr media
→ summary: you know what they say about boys with big noses...
{or alternatively: jungkook has a big dick but he doesn’t know how to use it, but luckily you’re there to help.}
→ genre: humor/crack, smut → warnings: they talk about dicks a lot (i.e. jungkook has a big dick), DICK MEASURING CONTESTS (aka jk gets his dick appraised... just boys bein’ boys), explicit sexual content, semi-public exhibitionism, handjobs, blowjobs, sub!jungkook, whining, light dirty talk, mild pain play, mutual masturbation, jungkook has piercings, accidental edging (you’ll... understand), oc doesn’t have a gag reflex lol → words: 17.2K → a/n: @jincherie... you are my enabler and i will die on this hill only if you die on it with me. but of course i know you will die with me. because we only have one braincell and if either of us die, we both do. thank you for commissioning me to write this btw... even though i was already writing this so you just basically sent me money for free. ANYWAY... WORLD IS FUCK BUT I LOVE RHA!! ALSO JUNGKOOK HAS A BIG DICK!! EPIC!!
Tumblr media
The club lights make it difficult for Jungkook to see anything. He doesn’t understand why club owners can’t just jack up the lighting for once; it isn’t like you’re going to be able to find a hook-up through echolocation or something. Though, judging by the way people seem to be groping their way through the masses, perhaps there really is no need for illumination anyway.
Jungkook normally hates this kind of scene. Drinking is all good and fun, especially when he’s with his hyungs, but going to overly crowded places makes his skin crawl with anxiety. It takes almost three shots during pre-game for him to get anywhere near this kind of place and it’s all thanks to Seokjin. That hyung thrives in these kinds of environments, like a clipped butterfly relearning how to fly.
“I’m gonna get shit fucked wasted!” Seokjin hollers, his arm looped carelessly around the only other person who hates being here as much as Jungkook does. He watches passively as Yoongi tries to bite a chunk off of Seokjin’s hand, but despite his inebriation, their eldest hyung is able to dodge it quickly.
“Not before I kill you, then everyone else in this place, and then myself, first.” Yoongi growls, nudging Seokjin off his smaller frame. If the world hadn’t been swaying underneath Jungkook’s feet, he might have offered to help his small hyung do the deed. If there’s anyone who hates nightclubs more than Jungkook, it’s Yoongi. Jungkook is frightened to know how Seokjin managed to convince Yoongi in the first place, and he’d prefer not to find out what sort of terrible blackmail the elder must have under his sleeve to accomplish such an arduous feat.
Just as Yoongi is about to connect his steel-toed boot up Seokjin’s freshly bleached asshole, Jimin returns from the bar with three glasses held precariously in each of his fists. Jungkook wonders yet again how this is possible due to the sheer tininess of Jimin’s hands, but then again... What can’t Jimin do when it comes to alcohol?
“I’m back! Here you go, Jungkookie,” Jimin says, seamlessly handing Jungkook a glass of what he hopes is just a regular beer like he asked. Knowing Jimin, he probably ordered the strongest shit they have. He peers at it suspiciously, but it only takes half a sip for Jungkook to confirm his guess. He grimaces, nearly coughing out a lung at the strength of the poison running down his throat.
“That tasted like fucking metal polish! What the fuck, Jimin?”
“I know! It’s great isn’t it?” Jimin smiles angelically, handing Yoongi one of the drinks. Yoongi looks at the swirling piss-yellow liquid as if it holds the secrets to the universe. It appears as if he’s decided something when his eyes light up.
“Oh my god, this drink is gonna kill me,” he says, not an ounce of fear in his voice. Jimin nods, not even trying to hide his deception.
“I promised the bartender a blowie if he could give me the strongest shit they had,” Jimin shrugs. “Dude literally went to the back room and took out this bottle that looked like it came from Napoleon’s secret stash of hooker piss.” He sniffs the drinks thoughtfully. “Yea, I could believe that.”
“I hate this!” Jungkook cries at no one in particular.
“Tough shit! We’re in this together!” Yoongi groans, downing the entire contents of his drink in one go before promptly being swallowed whole by the crowd. Seokjin hoots, hastily waving goodbye to Jungkook and Jimin before following Yoongi and diving into the sweaty masses like a seasoned Olympian.
“I hope they don’t die like last time,” Jungkook sighs, forcing himself to take a big gulp of his drink. It sears against his throat like a brand, which probably has an inscription saying “Jeon Jungkook has bad taste in friends.”
Jimin shrugs his shoulders. “Well, like Namjoon said a while ago, we’re gonna meet by the bar in 2 hours to check if everyone is still alive and we’ll find out then. Okay, Kook?”
Jimin has reminded him of this for the umpteenth time, though he can’t blame him for being extra careful. Last time the whole gang went to the club, Hoseok had gotten stuck in an elevator at his hook-up’s place and had cried for 5 hours straight before one of them thought to look for him. The time before that, Taehyung had ingested two times his bodyweight of margaritas and he had found himself in Japan the next morning with an extra $500 in his pocket.
Yeah. They’re idiots, but at least they’re idiots who will try not to make the same mistakes as last time. Key word being “try.”
Jungkook looks around the club, but he can’t find any awkward looking lanky people anywhere. “Where is Namjoon-hyung, by the way? Haven’t seen him since we split up.”
“Who the hell knows?” Jimin laughs, the sound drowning out when the DJ suddenly decides to play a death metal version of Dance the Night Away by Twice. Jimin’s eyes light up. “Ooooh shit! This is my song! See ya later, Kook!”
“W-wait, those drinks! Aren’t they for the others––“
“Bitch, you think these are for them?” Jimin begins to double fist his alcohol with the thirstiness of a man in a desert, or a twink confronted with two dicks. Either or.
To Jungkook’s horror, the crowd has seemingly grown thrice in size since they’ve arrived and he watches as Jimin’s body is slowly getting consumed by the masses, though he doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest. He leans into a random guy's back, a look of bliss on his face. He salutes lazily at Jungkook. “Anyway. See you in 2 hours, Kook! Try to have fun!”
Try to have fun, his ass.
Unlike Jimin, Jungkook doesn’t particularly feel like being crushed by sweaty hormonal bodies; instead, he chooses to head to the bar. He surreptitiously dumps his drink into the trash, feeling kind of bad for discarding a free drink, but Jungkook doesn’t want to get shit-fucked wasted like the rest of them are. Perhaps he’ll be the designated driver today, even though his vision is still kind of swimming. Well, he could probably walk in a straight line if he used all his brainpower. Which isn’t a lot, but you know. People learn to make do.
It takes him a while to find an empty stool by the bar and he is unlucky enough to be squished between two couples who don’t seem to be aware that public indecency is a crime. He has to endure being jostled for five minutes straight until the bartender finally notices him and allow him to order his can of coke.
(“Sorry, kid. The banana milk is all sold out. Some girl ordered our entire stock for her friends a few hours ago.” And just like that, Jungkook wants to die all over again.)
He does not know for how long he sits by the bar. Well, that’s a blatant lie, because he knows that he’s been sitting there for 18 minutes and 34 seconds exactly. He’s checked his phone religiously every 2 minutes to see if 2 hours have passed already, just so he can ask one of his stupid friends to go home with him. Perhaps he could coerce Jimin into turning in early for once (which is a pipedream, not when the DJ seems adamant to play Jimin’s favorite Christina Aguilera song 70 times in a row.)
So in short, Jungkook is miserable. He could go home by himself, but also he doesn’t want to end up having to walk to the police station the next morning to bail his friends out after one of them inevitably destroys public property again.
Fuck. Maybe he shouldn’t have thrown away his other drink.
He’s so deep in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice that one of the couples beside him have already left and that another person has taken their spot. He is jarred from his musings when a well-manicured hand is placed delicately on his shoulder, urging him to swivel the barstool around to face his soon-to-be acquaintance.
“Hey,” you say, a sultry smile on your lips. Jungkook feels his mouth immediately fill with cotton as he stares at your beautiful face, the dingy lighting of the club doing nothing to suppress the wicked glint in your eyes.
“Uhh… hey?” Jungkook replies, as charming and verbose as ever. If it isn’t obvious enough, Jungkook is a little lacking in the girls department, or at least, when it comes to girls-who-are-blatantly-flirting with him department. He normally isn’t this socially inept around the opposite gender, but given the connotations of this circumstance, his overactive male brain can only be restrained so much before it starts wandering towards dangerous territory.
It doesn’t help that the neckline of your dress is bordering on obscene, and Jungkook is afraid that if you move one more inch towards him, something very embarrassing might happen to the both of you (probably more so for him, if he’s being quite honest.)
“I couldn’t help but notice you from across the club and thought I should introduce myself,” you explain, gaze unashamedly trailing down his body. Jungkook can feel the heat from you radiating in waves, burning him from the inside out as he tries not to melt into a puddle in a pathetic attempt to get the fuck out of there.
“You saw me? But it’s… so dark in here…” Jungkook wants to fucking murder himself. That’s what he decides to say to you? God, no fucking wonder he’s a virgin. Good looks really aren’t everything when he doesn’t have a brain controlling the rest of his body. There might as well be a fucking hamster running laps inside of his skull for all he knew.
Thankfully (or unthankfully––God knows Jungkook’s stress levels aren’t lowering any time soon), you find his response funny enough to warrant a chuckle. You bat your eyes salaciously at him, which Jungkook didn’t even think was possible. People can be sexy? When they blink? Apparently, you can do that.
You shrug your shoulders. “That’s true. You caught me in a lie, I suppose. I actually knew you were coming even before you arrived.”
Jungkook chokes on his own spit then, nearly spraying you with his saliva like the dog that he is. His eyes bug out of his sockets, his body going tense with nerves. "You... you knew? What... What does that even mean?"
You point over your shoulder, gesturing vaguely at the crowd on the dance floor. "I'm friends with Seokjin over there. He mentioned you were coming with him to the club tonight so I decided to tag along."
"You know Seokjin-hyung?" The alarm bells in Jungkook's head start ringing wildly out of control. Nothing good ever comes out of being friends with Seokjin, especially since his presence alone has the power to make the creases in your brain to smoothen. Take it from someone who's been there, done that.
"Yep," you say, popping your 'p.' "I met him in my first-year English course, though I still don't know why a third-year like him was taking it in the first place."
"It's because he doesn't know how to read," Jungkook says plainly.
"I can tell. He uses voice-to-text exclusively and Siri can never spell Asian names correctly," you shrug your shoulders. "Either that, or he just doesn't know how to spell your name."
"Yea. I'm permanently John Jung Cock on his phone," Jungkook replies. He shakes his head. "Hold on, we were talking about something before this."
"Oh. About how I casually revealed to you that I was stalking you through our mutually insane friend?"
"Y-Yea, basically." Jungkook doesn't even understand what the fuck is happening right now. "I mean! Not exactly? Like, for all I know, you could've just asked hyung who he was coming with and he mentioned my name and––"
"Listen, kid. I straight up just told you I'm stalking you. Let's skip the foreplay and get to the meat of it: I'm literally following you," you say, without an inch of regret, embarrassment, or morality in your tone of voice.
Jungkook, who despite being filled with so much fear and tension enough to kill the small hamster inside his brain, is somehow able to keep his calm in front of the psychopath in front of him. Either that, or he's already in the middle of a stroke and he's lost all his fine motor skills.
"I... I don't know what to say."
"You don't need to say anything, baby," you murmur, leaning even closer to him until your chest was practically pressed against his. The thin layer of your dress and his well-worn cotton tee does nothing to help the situation (both in general and the one in his pants). He can feel your every curve, can smell the sweet perfume you're wearing; you were enveloping his senses. If he tried hard enough, he could probably count your eyelashes if he so desired with how close you were.
He knows he should probably be running away in terror right now, but he finds himself stuck resolutely to the barstool, unable to move. Maybe Jimin was right... Maybe he did have a fear kink or something.
("Isn't that just called masochism?" Jungkook asks, brows raised.
Jimin only laughs, patting him on the back condescendingly. "Nah, dude. You just straight up wanna die by the hands of a hot person, and I can respect that homie. We all have been there.")
“W-what do you want from me?” Jungkook asks, sweat lining his brow. You’re still looking at him like he was a meal, but he finds he probably doesn’t mind being devoured by you.
Your wicked grin returns, full force. “I just want to play, Jungkook. But why don’t we discuss this… somewhere more private?”
Thunk. Was that the sound of his heart dropping out of his ass, or his brain pressing against the left side of his skull, or his dick hitting the roof? Jungkook isn’t sure, but he does know he wants to see where this night will take him.
He lets you lead the way, squeezing through sweaty bodies and elbowing a stray hand or two. Jungkook swears he feels a guy grope him on the way out, but before he can even sock the guy in the jaw, you’re already one step ahead of him. You hiss menacingly at the dudebro, raising your long acrylic nails in a show of dominance like you’re from some wildlife documentary. The guy audibly whines, running away from the two of you with his tail between his legs.
Jungkook stares at you incredulously. “How the fuck did you––��
“I’ve gone to tango classes with that dude. I have his mom’s phone number,” you explain nonchalantly. Instantly, Jungkook feels himself hardening in his pants.
You manage to get to where the washroom stalls are. You brazenly walk past the line of girls at the women’s section, but Jungkook is even more confused when you also pass by the men’s section. You turn the corner, where a bunch of tables and chairs were being kept. Then, you begin to knock down some of the extra chairs stacked against the wall, which is where Jungkook discovers there is an unused wheelchair accessible washroom.
“Why is this washroom being kept hidden?” he wonders aloud, sneaking guilty looks over his shoulder. No one seems to have noticed that the two of you are blatantly trespassing property, but you don’t look all that stressed about it.
You look at him weirdly. “Dude. You can barely walk in this club without getting groped, poked, or doped. As much as I’m all for accessibility, I don’t think wheelchair-bound people are gonna have much of a good time here.”
Jungkook feels as though he should be saying something profound about the need for establishments to be accessible or something, but the strain in his pants really wasn’t doing many wonders on his verbosity right now. Maybe next time.
You make quick work of the barricade and you get the door open in no time. You push him hastily inside, making him yelp as he tries to find his way around the darkened room. You flip the switch on somewhere behind him, illuminating the washroom to find… a toilet. That’s it.
“Well, they certainly didn’t think about interior decorating,” Jungkook says, laughing nervously as you click the door locked. He turns, watching as you pull the black elastic that was on your wrist and begin to tie your hair. You smile cheekily at him, the implications of what is about to happen very much apparent.
“Nah, they didn’t. But the room gets the job done and that’s all we want, don’t we?” You purr, taking the two short steps you need to get close to him once more. You trail a well-manicured nail down his chest, circling around his nipple teasingly but not doing anything more. His breathing turns more shallow, and he knows for sure that his eyes must look crazed to you right now.
You bring your finger lower and lower, grazing the top of his belt buckle and staying there. You look up at him, licking your lips as your gaze trails down to his own. Once again, he feels paralyzed as you take him in and he wishes for all the horny gods from above that you would finally end the torture and finally close the distance.
Taking some pity on him, you rest your lips against his throat, suckling gently enough that Jungkook knows it won’t leave a mark. His hands instantly come up to grab your waist, as if urging you to go harder, to make it hurt.
You smirk against his skin, deciding at that moment to bite down, hard. Jungkook yelps, before the sound morphs into an unabashed moan. His cheeks pinken, embarrassed at the volume of his voice.
“I-I…”
“Don’t worry, Jungkook…” you whisper, soothing the bite with your tongue. You pop off his skin, your lips slightly redder than before. “I’ll take good care of you, darling.”
See, Jungkook doesn’t doubt you in the slightest. As for his own skills at taking care of you when the time comes… now that’s a little bit of a gamble.
Jungkook isn’t a virgin, per se… He lost his virginity during his last year of high school to some girl he met at a party, and suffice to say, he didn’t last long. He’s had a few girlfriends in the past, but none of them ever wanted to get with him once they saw his dick. You see, he had a bit of a problem…
He wasn’t small, by the way. Don’t get him wrong. In fact, he was kinda––
Jungkook is pulled away from his thoughts when you suddenly drop down to your knees, your hands grabbing onto his thighs for support. He’s almost worried that you’d injured yourself from how fast you’d dropped, but you don’t seem all that bothered by how deftly your fingers moved to unbuckle his belt.
When you get it loosened, your hands stop by the button of his jeans and you look up at him with expectation. Jungkook almost whines when your hands drift back to your lap.
You snort, amused. “What? You think I’m gonna do all the work here, buddy? Come on, strip for me.” you say, sitting on your haunches as you wait for him to move.
The strain in his pants was getting downright painful at this point, so Jungkook is more than eager to follow your orders. Still, his hands are shaking the entire time, so it takes him a few extra seconds before he can finally unbutton his stupid jeans and pull down his stupid zipper. Even through his loose boxers, the outline of his dick is very apparent, with a small wet spot already staining the front of his boxers a darker blue.
“Uh, I have to say a disclaimer first though,” Jungkook squeaks, suddenly shy under the intense gaze you were pointing straight at his dick. It twitches slightly, and your eyes follow it like a cat ready to pounce. “I’m… kinda on the bigger side, so I just want to ask if you’re sure––”
“Baby, I was sure even before I came to this club,” you say, trance-like. Your fists clench and unclench by your sides. “Now, shut up before I change my mind.”
“But––” Jungkook doesn’t get to finish his sentence, stunned to silence when you quite literally rip his boxers off of him like a magician trying to prove something. His dick springs up half-way, still not fully hard as it’s always taken him a little bit more goading before he can get to full mast. Yea, he was that big.
You stare at it for a moment, going cross-eyed as you stared at his tip head-on like some sort of perverse gun barrel. You don’t move for so long that Jungkook is afraid that he might have freaked you out with the size of his cock, though you wouldn’t be the first in a long shot. He’s about to apologize, prepared to pull up his pants in shame and walk home with half a log in his crotch. He’s already shifting his jeans back up when you place a hand on his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.
“Wait. Are you, like, only half-hard right now?” you ask, voice quiet.
Jungkook flushes. “Y-yeah… It gets a little bit bigger when I’m fully… You know…” he says, trailing off.
You’re still looking at his dick, but after further assessment, Jungkook realizes that you don’t look horrified in the slightest. In fact, you look pleased. “Jesus fuck you’re huge! Like… almost abnormally so.”
Jungkook literally feels like he’s going to die (and he hates that it’s kinda making him even hornier). “I guess so?”
“That’s a fucking log! You could stand on that thing!”
“I don’t think that’s possible, but––”
“Seokjin had told me you were huge, but I didn’t believe him because, well, the way he described it was that you had a literal third leg hiding under there. Who would have thought that Seokjin isn’t full of shit after all,” you say, awestruck.
“I’m really not that big––wait, Seokjin has talked to you about my dick? What the fuck? Since WHEN?” Seokjin was just out there in the world? Telling strangers about his dick? That hyung is seriously getting smashed WWE style the next time he sees him, and it’s NOT going to be sexy.
You wave him off. “Oh, don’t worry. He doesn’t just tell anyone. He let it slip because he was defending your honor,” you shrug.
In the midst of Jungkook’s mental breakdown at the realization that one of his closest friends just told a random girl that he’s got a meter long King Kong dong, he doesn’t notice that you’ve already stood up from where you were kneeling. You pull down the toilet seat cover, seating yourself on it and rubbing your reddened knees with a pout. “Ouch. Damn, I’m not used to kneeling for men anymore. Sorry, where was I? Oh right!”
You snap your fingers together, smiling gleefully at Jungkook. “So! I dragged you in here to give you my proposition, you see. I have a deal to make with you.”
Jungkook looks down at his cock, which was still red and dripping pre-cum, before turning back to you. “And this has something to do with… my dick?”
“Precisely!” you cheer, glad that he seems to be on the same page as you when he was in fact, not. “Sorry about tricking you, by the way. I’ll suck your dick after this if you’re still game, but only if you agree with my plan.”
“Your plan?”
“Yep,” you say, popping your ‘p’ once more. “You see, I have an ex-boyfriend. His name is Lee Taeyong, ever heard of him?”
Jungkook vaguely knows the upperclassman, though he can’t say he’s ever spoken to him. “Kinda. What does he have to do with me?”
“Well, if you really heard of him, then you’d already be one step ahead. Seeing as how it’s not already connecting for you––” you point to his dick, poking the sensitive head with the grace of a 5-year old at a petting zoo, “––then you don’t know that Lee Taeyong has the biggest dick on campus. Allegedly.”
“Allegedly,” Jungkook repeats. He still doesn’t follow.
“Well, I wouldn’t know either because I’ve never seen his dick, so––”
“Wait wait wait. Wait.” Jungkook’s hamster brain is running a mile a minute. There have been way too many absurdities spoken in the last five minutes and he doesn’t think he’s drunk enough to deal with your insanity right now. “Let’s dissect this one at a time, shall we? First of all, how can you not know how big your boyfriend’s dick is?”
“My ex-boyfriend. And we only dated for like three days, and I don’t fuck until a week has passed, okay? I don’t play like that,” you say as if you didn’t just lure Jungkook to this dingy washroom only to give him blue balls and trauma.
“Okay, whatever. So what if he has a big dick? What does that have to do with me?”
You roll your eyes. “How can you not understand yet? I’m on the hunt for our university’s biggest dick, of course! And you, Jungkook, might just be my ticket to the number one prize.”
There is a long pause. Jungkook stares and stares at you, waiting for you to shout “Surprise! You’re being pranked, bro!” and for all the cameramen to come out and shower him in confetti and dollar bills or something. But no, nothing like that happened. He just continues to stand there with his dick out, while you sit on a dingy toilet seat with your legs crossed comfortably as if you were just two friends having a regular conversation.
After a while, Jungkook comes to a conclusion. “You’re being serious.”
You snort, annoyed as if you were the one being inconvenienced. “Of course I am, dude. I don’t stalk just about anybody to see their dick. I’m not that insane.”
Jungkook feels as though your judgment on sanity should probably be taken with a grain of salt. “S-sure. Right. You’re definitely not insane.”
“And you have a big dick! I’m glad you can see where I’m coming from,” you say, nodding sagely. You peer at his dick once more, brows furrowed as you think deeply to yourself. “Hmm… Yea, I’d say you’d be at least equally as big as him. If all else fails, I can split the winnings and get half the amount of money if you––”
“No,” Jungkook says.
You raise your brow. “Yes?” you try.
“Yes–I mean, what? No!” Jungkook repeats, shaking his head furiously. "Are you even hearing yourself? You expect me to get into a dick measuring contest with your ex just so you can, what? Get revenge on him or something?"
"Not for revenge." You lean closer to him, face inches away from his dick but you don't seem perturbed in the slightest. "It's for money," you whisper, grinning slyly.
"Money," Jungkook repeats.
You clap your hands excitedly. "Exactly! So Taeyong and I didn't actually break up on bad terms. We only got together to make Doyoung, his crush, jealous enough to confess his feelings. But now, that dumb bitch thinks that now that he's with Taeyong, he can make fun of me for not being able to handle Taeyong's dark horse cock––"
"Can you please stop talking like an insane person," Jungkook pleads. His comment remains unheard.
"––so we made a bet that Taeyong doesn't actually have the biggest dick on campus and that I'm dating a guy with an even bigger meat thermometer than he does," you finish, snapping your fingers with a flourish. There's a twinkle in your eye: it's misplaced excitement coupled with extreme insanity, Jungkook realizes.
"That's good and all, but there's just one problem."
"What?" You tilt your head, confused.
"We're not exactly dating, are we?"
"Details, details... What Doyoung and Taeyong don't know won't hurt them," you say, shrugging your shoulders.
Jungkook rolls his eyes. "Of course," he says, leaning against the grimy bathroom wall. He goes to tuck Jungkook Jr. back into his pants, his dick finally softening after the last ten minutes of psychological torture courtesy of yours truly, but you're quick to slap his hand away, making him yelp in surprise.
"No! I like looking at it," you say. You stare at his dick with rapt fascination. "It's kinda like looking at a weird, deformed baby leg. Beautiful, but haunting all at once."
Jungkook huffs, staring at you in equal parts disbelief and awe. If he thought Seokjin was mentally unhinged, then you're definitely on your way towards uncharted psychotic territory. It was kind of amazing how you could just say shit without any brain to mouth filter, in your own twisted way. "Listen, lady. I don't even fucking know what your name is, but I am not helping you win some stupid bet and showing my dick to even more strangers than I have to, okay?"
You consider him, lips pursing slightly. "Why, do you have any other plans this weekend?"
Jungkook falters. "I... No, I don't––"
You shrug your shoulders, as if that's the end of that problem. "Then it's settled! I don't see why you can't just do this out of the goodness of your heart?"
"For the last time, I won't do it even if––"
"I'll split the prize with you? 50/50? That's $1000 for having a huge dick! Every incel's wet dream!"
Jungkook pauses in his rant, choking on his spit. His jaw drops comically, unsure if he heard you right. "Did you say one... grand?"
Hook, line, and sinker. You know you caught him the moment his eyes bugged out of their sockets. You smirk, crossing your arms triumphantly as you gaze upon his desperate and broke college ass (and dick). “So? Having second thoughts?"
Jungkook is quiet for a moment. He opens his mouth, then closes it. He tries to wrap his head around the number, unsure if he should be worried about how ready he is to drop his pants for money. Have I completely lost it? Am I that much of an idiot? he wonders, but then again… He’d be an even bigger idiot for letting free money go down the drain.
“Where is this money even coming from?” he asks, even though he knows his guard is already dropping quickly.
You wave your hand flippantly. “Oh, Doyoung is filthy rich. I imagine that $2000 is nothing to him,” you say, picking at a hangnail. “It’s not much money to me either, but my pride is mostly at stake here. If you want, you could take all the money as a prize, so long as you make that bitch eat his heart out.”
Jungkook feels his dick twitch and he knows that you notice. “Two… thousand…” He accidentally moans, gripping his thighs to prevent himself from nutting. “That’s…”
You tilt your head, arching a brow. “Not enough? I could put in an extra $500 if you’re really against this whole thing. To be fair, I wouldn’t wanna expose my coochie to a random person either––”
“Two thousand five hundred? Are you fucking insane?” Jungkook exclaims, voice cracking at the end. He clears his throat, but it still feels like his lungs are on fire.
“Okay, three grand it is but I’m not going any higher than that,” you huff, shaking your head. “Mr. Jeon, you really do drive a hard bargain, though I always notice that well-endowed men tend to think they deserve the universe, so I’m not surprised.” You chuckle to yourself, as if anything about this situation is worth laughing at. Jungkook feels like that one time he had inhaled an entire helium balloon in one breath when he was younger: kinda nauseous but also kinda euphoric. Is it bad that his dick is stirring awake right now? Hello?
You put your hand out, looking at him expectantly. “Well? Do we have a deal or not?”
Jungkook takes a deep breath and accesses his options carefully. Does he:
Give up his low self-esteem for money and enter an actual dick-measuring contest with some stranger;
There is no other option. Jungkook wants money.
He exhales, a migraine already throbbing incessantly in the back of his skull. He thrusts his hand forward, gripping yours harshly in a firm handshake. “I’m in,” he says, without missing a beat. Your smile brings a shiver down his back, and he can’t help but wonder if this is what Judas felt like when he betrayed Jesus, except he’s betraying no one but his own self-worth.
Well, he always did wonder how much his life was worth and three grand doesn’t seem like that big of a stretch. Oh well.
“Nice,” you chuckle, seemingly vibrating from excitement. You slip behind him, grabbing his phone from the back pocket of his jeans (which were still, by the way, pooled around his thighs because his dick was still out. Just to remind you guys in case you forgot. OP doesn’t want you to ever forget about it.) You flick open his phone, cackling maniacally when you realize he doesn’t even have a password on.
Jungkook squawks. “Hey, what are you––”
“I’m saving my number on your phone,” you explain. He can barely see what you were typing into his phone contacts, but he doesn’t miss the way you attach a heart emoji beside your name. You open his texts, sending yourself an octopus emoji that just so happened to be Jungkook’s most frequently used emoji. You snort. “Octopus emoji, huh? Seems appropriate… Can’t help but think it was a sign that this might have been destiny.”
“I just like takoyaki…” Jungkook defends himself sulkily.
“Yea? Well I like cock,” you say. You pause, furrowing your brows. “Oh, I meant to say chicken. Same thing.”
You hand back his phone, grabbing your small purse that you had thrown aside onto the washroom floor. You straighten your dress, looking to all the world as if you hadn’t just offered a stranger three grand to show his dick. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Jungkook. I expect to see you soon, maybe this weekend if you’re free. I’ll text you the details of when we’ll meet next. Toodles!” you wave, sending him a flying kiss for extra measure. Jungkook’s eye twitches, and he wonders not for the first time tonight if he was trapped in a coma and was slowly passing away.
Just as you are about to head out the door, you stop in your tracks, turning back to face him. You give him a curious expression, gaze dragging downwards until you were staring down the barrel of his dick once more. “Hey, sorry about leaving you hanging like that, by the way. I would love to help you finish, but I have a ride to catch. Raincheck?”
Not waiting for an answer, you saunter away with a spring in your step. The door swings back closed, leaving Jungkook alone for the first time in what feels like forever: just him, his dick, and the promise of three thousand dollars on the horizon.
“I’m so fucking stupid,” Jungkook groans, sliding down to the floor. He fists his cock in his hand, groaning loudly when he feels the pleasure jolt up his spine like electricity. As he listens to the sounds of his heavy breathing and the slick mess in his hands, he can’t help but wonder if Jimin was right… Maybe he did have a thing for insane hot girls who were out to kill him.
x x x x x
After Jungkook cleans himself up, he marches out of the washroom with as much dignity as he can muster. Which is to say that he walked out of there with his head bowed in shame, meekly navigating the crowded club in search of his friends.
It isn’t hard, considering that Jimin was currently hanging on the fucking ceiling from a disco ball. A group of men stand at the bottom, all of them eagerly eyeing his fat ass as Jimin dangerously humped the shiny ball of metal like his life depended on it.
“Okaaaay guys! The moment this disco ball drops, whoever catches me first gets to fuck me tonight so try your best to grab me~!” Jimin singsongs from his perch, howling madly as all the horny motherfuckers scramble all over each other, desperate to catch him lest he meets his maker.
“I. Hate. My. Life.” Jungkook sighs, striding past the group of men easily with his superior upper body strength. “Move, incels. This twink isn’t letting any of you simps touch his ass. He just likes the attention.”
“Aww, Jungkookie! Don’t ruin my fun~! Unless you wanna catch me and we can finally fu––” Jimin screams mid-sentence, just as the cord holding him and the disco ball snaps. All the guys step over themselves to catch him, but Jungkook is stronger and faster. He catches Jimin mid-air, snatching him in an instant and hoisting him over his shoulder. Everyone cheers and hollers, clapping for him as Jimin continues to giggle hysterically into his back.
“Yay! Jungkookie is gonna fuck meeeee,” Jimin pats him on the ass, but Jungkook ignores him. He goes around the club, searching for the rest of his friends until he has five dangling bodies hanging off his body like some six-headed freak.
Well, it’s soon going to be five-headed after he beheads Seokjin, whom Jungkook is certain just vomited all over the back of his jeans.
“I can’t fucking find Yoongi-hyung.” Jungkook grits his teeth, his nose assaulted by the stench of Namjoon’s armpit as the elder contorts himself into a more comfortable position. “Stop fucking moving, you long-legged bastard. Why’d you have to be born with such good body proportions?”
“And why are you so hot, Jungkook?” Taehyung swoons from somewhere underneath Hoseok, who seems to be either passed out or dead; Jungkook didn’t pause to check for a pulse.
“Pretty sure Yoongi went home,” Seokjin slurs, a second wave of nausea hitting him as he struggles to keep the alcohol inside of him a bit longer. “Ugh… Said he saw his roommate and they went home together.”
“God, it better be his fucking roommate and not another person trying to sell his organs again.” Jungkook sighs. “Either way, we’re all going home. We’ve done enough damage for tonight.”
“Jungkookie, did you have any fun at all tonight? Didn’t see you around,” Namjoon quips, managing to wriggle out of Jungkook’s grip and fall face flat on the curb. He whines pathetically, not making a move to stand up again. “Ugh. I didn’t even drink a lot tonight so why...?”
“It’s because you’re Namjoon,” Jungkook supplies helpfully. He lets the rest of his friends down, making sure they are leaning against the wall for support (or sitting against the wall in Hoseok’s case). “Alright, I’m calling cabs. Seokjin-hyung, I’m staying over at your place tonight.”
Jimin, who was already slowly falling asleep where he stands, perks up in attention at that. “Wait, you’re coming home with me and Seokjin? Are we reaaaally gonna fuck?” Jimin tries to wiggle his eyebrows suggestively, but to Jungkook, it just looks like he’s having a stroke.
“I’m done nutting for tonight. We are sleeping once we get home and that’s it,” Jungkook snorts, crossing his arms.
“OOOOOOOH? JUNGKOOK GOT FUCKED AT THE CLUB!”
“GET IT BOY!”
“OH SHIT HE FINALLY USED HIS PURPLE-HEADED YOGURT FINGER!”
“DAMN DUDE? DAMN? DAMN?”
“AW, YOU FUCKED SOMEONE WITHOUT ME?”
Jungkook swears he had heard Hoseok speak amidst the yelling from his friends, but his hyung still remains mysteriously hunched over and dead to the world. “None of your businesses. Anyway, a cab is coming soon and I swear to God, if any of you piss or vomit in that poor man’s vehicle, I will make sure none of you live to see the light of day, okay?”
Jimin turns to Taehyung, who just happened to be beside him. “Not gonna lie, but I kinda jizzed in my pants just now. That was kinda hot.” Taehyung only nods in agreement.
An hour and thirty minutes later, Jungkook manages to get the last of his idiot friends home, leaving only him, Seokjin, and Jimin as they tiredly trudge up the steps to the apartment. It takes an additional twenty minutes for Seokjin to figure out where he’d left his keys, only for Jimin to raise his finger for them to wait as he hid behind some bushes while unbuckling his jeans. When he comes out of the bushes, pantless, he has a key raised with a victorious smirk on his face.
“Don’t ask where I keep this,” is all he says and Jungkook is glad that he had rejected Seokjin’s offer to permanently move in as their roommate.
They all stumble into the apartment, with Seokjin falling immediately onto the couch. He curls up into a little ball, snoring the moment his eyes shut. Jungkook wants to shake him awake, eager to interrogate him about what happened between you and him just a few hours ago at the club. Even if he wanted to wake him up, Jungkook is sure nothing can rouse the elder; this fact is confirmed when Jungkook dumps water on him, only for Seokjin to keep sleeping soundly like a baby.
“Well, hyung is dead. Guess it’s time for me to die too,” Jimin says sleepily, the horniness and insanity from the club already wearing off. He pats Jungkook gently on the head, pointing towards Seokjin’s room. “Sleep there. I’ll hand you an extra blanket because I wouldn’t trust that hyung’s sheets. Let’s sleep, yeah?”
Left with no other choice, Jungkook heads to Seokjin’s bedroom, jumping onto the unmade sheets and pretending not to notice the crusty unknown substance on the corner of the bed. He can’t fall asleep, not when he’s left haunted by the weight on his chest (and dick). Jungkook fiddles with his phone, staring wide-eyed at the name displayed tauntingly on his screen.
Y/N L/N.
He was gonna have a nightmare tonight, that’s for sure.
x x x x x
Jungkook wakes up early, much to his chagrin. He’d really like to stay dead to the world for much longer, but the smell of coffee brewing and bacon cooking is kind of a hard deal to pass up. Jungkook shifts in bed, cringing when he realizes he went to sleep in his jeans, and more importantly, that his pants felt a lot stickier than he remembered.
He lifts the blanket up, confirming his suspicions. “Fuck!”
Well, guess he didn’t have much of a nightmare last night after all.
He shucks off his clothes, disgusted by the mess he finds in his underwear. He hobbles over to Seokjin’s closet, cringing when he finds only one (1) clean pair of shorts left, which just so happened to have “PEE IS STORED IN THE BALLS” stamped on the back in cursive font. Beggars can’t be choosers, he supposes.
Jungkook tiptoes out of the bedroom, confronted with the sight of Jimin pouring three mugs of coffee and Seokjin still slumped over the couch, a substantial amount of drool dripping down from the side of his mouth and forming a puddle on the floor. Jungkook takes a photo, saving it for later.
“Morning,” Jimin smiles from the kitchen, offering Jungkook one of the cups. Jungkook is certain that Jimin has no recollection of the events from last night, though such is Park Jimin’s way of life. He drinks to get fucked up, then he forgets, and then the cycle repeats itself anew. Jungkook wonders how Jimin always manages to wake up without a hangover, though God might have just given him a super liver in compensation for his lack of height.
“Hyung is still dead,” Jungkook states plainly, walking over to Seokjin and peering at him closely. Jungkook sticks a finger into his agape mouth, collects some of his spit, and then proceeds to give him the wettest willy of his life. Still no response.
“Let me try,” Jimin says, sauntering over to Seokjin with one of the cups of coffee. Jimin leans down, hums gently into his ear. “Hyung, wake up. We have coffee for you!”
Seokjin mumbles incomprehensibly in his sleep, snuggling deeper into the couch stuffing. Jimin tilts his head, still smiling. Then, he dumps the scalding cup of coffee all over Seokjin’s crotch.
In an instant, Seokjin screams with the pitch of a banshee, swinging his arms wildly about and nearly knocking himself out with his own fist. Jungkook and Jimin watch passively from the sidelines, waiting for the elder to finish fanning his nutsack before greeting him a pleasant morning.
“WHY ARE YOU BOTH LITERAL DEMONS?” Seokjin hollers, jumping to his feet with his scorched balls and all. Taking pity on him, Jungkook walks over to the fridge, tossing his hyung a bag of ice. And by toss, it’s more like he pitches the bag straight into his dick with the ease and speed of a seasoned baseball player, eliciting another round of pained howls.
“YOU––ASS––” Seokjin seethes, clutching the bag of ice to his nether regions. He sits down on the adjacent loveseat, expression contorting as he cups his balls gingerly. “God, it’s almost like you guys don’t think I deserve basic human decency.”
“That was just a small part of my revenge for you, after you gave my contact details to an insane woman,” Jungkook sneers, miming a punch onto Seokjin’s handsome face. Seokjin doesn’t even flinch, too busy staring at Jungkook’s legs.
“Hey, are you wearing my thot shorts?”
Jungkook looks down at the neon pink monstrosity around his hips. “You call these your thot shorts?”
Seokjin shrugs. “I got dicked down in them once. You should try.”
“Oh, did I hear something about revenge? I smell tea in here,” Jimin says, coming back from the kitchen with his own cup. “Well, I have coffee but same shit. What happened?”
“This––” Jungkook points an accusatory finger at Seokjin, “––asshole sent my location information to an insane stalker lady last night after he told her that I had a huge dick!”
Seokjin squints at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about Y/N! She said you told her about how big my dick was and when she asked you where I was, you told her I was going to the club with you last night!”
“Oh.” Realization dawns on Seokjin’s face, which was quickly replaced by incredulity as he stares at Jungkook. “I assumed she asked for your contact details because she had a crush on you. I was just trying to get you some pussy, bro.”
“Yeah, Kook. Not gonna lie, but I’d be dicking down girls left and right if I had a dick as big as yours,” Jimin says, eyeing the bulge in his teeny tiny shorts with interest. “In fact, I’d probably be a top if I had a dick as big as yours.”
Seokjin laughs, nearly shooting out phlegm from the strength of it. “Oh god, don’t tell me. You couldn’t get your dick hard again? Don’t worry bro, if I had a dick as big as yours, it’d take ages for it to fill up too.”
Jungkook flushes, stomping his foot in embarrassment. “That! Wasn’t the problem! The problem is––”
“––that Jungkook nuts too quickly because he doesn’t have any practice,” Jimin tuts sadly, patting the younger with a pitiful expression. “Don’t worry, Kook. Hyung is open to giving you some pointers.”
“That’s not it either!” Jungkook screams, groaning in annoyance. “She came up to me because she offered to pay me $3000 to enter a dick-measuring contest!”
Jimin and Seokjin tilt their heads in tandem, still not getting it. “So?” they both chorus, giving him a blank-eyed stare.
“Are you guys out of your mind? I got bribed into showing my dick to some strangers like some kind of weird prostitute!”
“It’s not prostitution if you’re not engaging in sexual activity,” Jimin muses, taking a long sip from his coffee. He shrugs his shoulders. “Honestly, I don’t see how this is a problem. You show some girls your dick, and you get money. Dudes would kill to be in your position.”
“Oh my God, don’t tell me,” Seokjin leers at Jungkook, and the younger almost can’t stop himself from landing another blow against the elder’s abused crotch. “You got roped into some bukkake orgy and now you’re asking your hyungs to help you? Don’t worry, Jungoo… You came to the right people. You see, Jimin and I have some experience with––”
“LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” Jungkook jams his fingers into his own ears, screaming hysterically to drown out the sounds of Seokjin and Jimin’s combined laughter. Jungkook pouts at them, glowering pathetically. “Seriously, hyungs! Do you not see how fucked up this is? Who follows a stranger to a club, pretends they’re going to give you a blowjob, only to offer 3K for you to show some strangers your dick?”
“A regular Friday night if you ask me,” Jimin says, shrugging once more. Jungkook stares at him, realizing that maybe it was the wrong idea being friends with these two lunatics in the first place. Knowing Jimin, he’d probably been in much more lewd and compromising situations than Jungkook will ever have. Rumor has it that Jimin had once done a keg stand while having his dick sucked while on vacation in Japan.  
“Well, if you were really against it, then you could have just said no?” Seokjin points out, wagging a finger at him. “I know Y/N, and yeah she’s kind of demented, but she still knows that no means no. Surely, you haven’t considered the fact that you are 1) a pushover and 2) horny for her?”
“Well, yea––No, what––No!” Jungkook splutters, stammering wildly. His two hyungs grin salaciously, gazing at him knowingly. Jungkook can only groan, as he knows that they kind of have a point. He’s always been too weak for girls and money, so when you put those two things together…
“I might be addicted to the BBC tag on Pornhub, but you my friend… You’re in it for the BBCC,” Jimin snickers, patting Jungkook comfortingly on the back. Jungkook groans into his hands, slumping onto the loveseat beside Seokjin, whose icepack had long since melted and caused the seat to be uncomfortably damp.
“BBCC? I’m almost too afraid to ask.”
“Big black credit card,” Seokjin pipes up, wrapping his own arm around Jungkook’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, bud. We all have been there.”
That’s the problem: somehow, Jungkook finds himself much too ready to accept his fate, eagerly awaiting when you’ll text him next.
x x x x x
After a much-needed shower at Jimin and Seokjin’s place, Jungkook tiredly makes his way to the nearby bus stop, ready to go home and sleep the entire weekend away. Screw his Biochemistry midterm on Monday––if he really is going to whore himself out to you, then he’s going to need all the self-care and therapy that he can get. His phone itches in the pocket of his shorts (yes, he’s still wearing the thot shorts), and he wonders if he should text his therapist and ask for an extra appointment later in the day.
Just as he’s about to pull out his phone, he senses it vibrate once, twice. He freezes in his steps, walking out of the way of busy pedestrians on the sidewalk and into a random clothing store. He sees the lone cashier staring at him from the corner of his eye, but he does not check if her gaze is filled with disgust or disgust. Probably disgust, he surmises.
Flicking his phone on, he sees two new messages from you and his heart immediately starts to hammer in his chest. No one has ever made Jungkook equal parts scared and excited, though he imagines you might have that effect on most people, what with how you look like the type to tie up unsuspecting victims to harvest their organs in your summer cottage up in the mountains or something. Or maybe that’s just Jungkook projecting.
from: y/n l/n ❣️ hey! sorry for taking so long to text you. my roommate tried to make cheesecake at 3am last night and i had to supervise in case he burned down the apartment.
from: y/n l/n ❣️ anyway, i was wondering if you were free later? some time after 5 maybe? let me know!
You already want to meet so soon. Jungkook exhales heavily through his nostrils, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to calm himself. Alright, this is fine. Jungkook is a big boy: he can handle going to a girl’s home without losing his mind. You didn’t say anything about this being the actual dick-measuring contest yet, so he can only assume this is just you asking for something else. Maybe to talk more? Maybe he’ll get a down payment for the prize money? Maybe you’ll follow through on your raincheck? God, is it wrong for him to have his dick plumping up in his shorts when you haven’t even done anything to him yet?
(On the contrary, you could say that you have done a lot for him over the past twenty four hours, though maybe not in the way most people would expect.)
from: jjk yeah i can meet you at 5. what’s this for?
from: y/n l/n ❣️ oh, nothing! i just wanted to talk to you about the actual competition and stuff. plus, i want to actually measure your dick, just so i can see how much you’re actually packing down there ;)
from: jjk ….yeah, fine. whatever.
(This really isn’t a “whatever” type of situation, but honestly, Jungkook doesn’t really know what to say anymore. He’s officially lost his singular brain wrinkle. He’s smooth brain McGee over here.)
You follow up by sharing your location with him, and he’s surprised to find that you aren’t that far away from where Jungkook was right now. He really did mean to go back to his apartment first and get changed into something more… morally acceptable, but since he hasn’t been arrested yet for public decency, he should be okay with going to your place in Seokjin’s thot shorts.
There’s something invigorating about going to your place, dressed the way he is… Maybe the shorts are somehow giving him brain hemorrhage by indirect association with Seokjin. Either that or Jungkook simply loves torturing himself by embarrassing himself constantly. Well, at least he showered and combed his hair before leaving his hyungs’ place.
He inputs your address into his phone map, taking his sweet time as he walks the short distance to your apartment. As he passes by the buildings and street corners, he can’t help but think that he might have been around this area before. He tries to rack his brain, forcing himself to remember why this route seems so familiar.
“Oh right. Yoongi-hyung’s new apartment should be around here,” he muses to himself. He wonders if his hyung had gotten home safely last night. He should probably text him to make sure, but he’s got a literal dick appointment to attend to first, so he’ll remember to check up on Yoongi once he finishes up with you.
Does that make him a shitty friend? Probably. But would Yoongi do the same if Jungkook was in his shoes? Probably.
Yeah, Jungkook and his group of friends aren’t exactly role models for a sensitive and loving relationship, though that’s not much of a surprise to anyone.
He arrives at a decent looking apartment complex, complete with its own little water fountain at the entrance. He walks through the automatic sliding doors, peers at the shiny caution tape barring him from using the elevator. He stares at your address on his phone, groaning loudly when he sees “1603” much to his annoyance.
“No wonder she had such great thighs,” Jungkook mutters angrily to himself, preparing himself for the long and arduous journey his glutes are going to endure.
Years later, Jungkook finds himself at your door, his lungs jumping out of his throat as he struggles to catch his breath. He hunches over, elbows digging into his thighs as he wipes the sweat trailing down his neck. He can see your door just near the end of the hall, but just as he’s about to crawl his way over––
“Oh. Oh my,” a familiar voice says from behind him, and Jungkook looks over his shoulder to see…
“Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook exclaims incredulously, mouth gaping at the sight of his thought-to-be-dead hyung coming out of the elevator. He splutters for a few more moments before pointing an accusing finger at Yoongi. “You used the elevator?”
Yoongi raises an eyebrow, turning to look at the elevator with a thoughtful look. “Oh right. The elevator works. The maintenance people just forgot to remove the safety tape from last week.” Yoongi looks back at Jungkook, gaze lowering to his legs. “I see that Seokjin has provided you with his thot shorts.”
Jungkook doesn’t even try to cover himself, used to his friends seeing him in varying degrees of undress. Like, what was Yoongi going to do? Take a photo of him and post it to his Twitter for his thousands of followers to see? He wasn’t that cruel...
Snap! Yoongi pockets his phone quickly, clearing his throat. “So,” Yoongi walks up closer to him, peering at Jungkook curiously. “What brings you to my apartment? Not that I’m happy to see you, but I assumed you and the rest of our idiotic gang would have died of alcohol poisoning the night before.”
“...It’s a long story,” Jungkook says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Say... Where did you go last night, by the way? I tried to look for you, but Seokjin said your roommate brought you home?”
“Yeah. She went to the club with a bunch of her friends. She offered me a ride with her because she knew how much I hated it there,” Yoongi says, frowning. “Fuck you, by the way.”
“What the fuck? What the hell did I do?”
“I don’t know. You’re wearing Seokjin’s shorts and my ape brain told me to retaliate out of instinct,” he explains. He takes another long, good glance at his shorts. “Color me surprised that they fit you, by the way. I’d assume your huge ass would be making it rip the seams, or perhaps your dick would be saying hello.”
Jungkook pats his junk proudly. “I know, right? Big guy decided to cooperate, for some reason.”
“Will you guys stop yapping it up out in the hall? I’m pretty sure Mrs. Sy can hear you two idiots from the first floor,” a voice from behind Jungkook hisses, causing the two boys to jump up in surprise. Lo and behold, your head is peeking out from behind your door, a perfectly stenciled eyebrow arched in annoyance. “Well? Are you two coming in or what?” You return back to your apartment, assuming that they’d soon follow.
Yoongi looks at Jungkook. “Wait. You know Y/N?”
Jungkook looks at Yoongi. “Wait. You know Y/N?”
Yoongi squints his eyes. “She’s my roommate. She’s a mutual friend of––”
“––Seokjin,” Jungkook finishes. The two of them pause, a metaphorical light bulb glowing above their heads.
“Ah.”
“Ah.”
“I see. The demoness has roped you into some hare-brained scheme, hasn’t she?” Yoongi nods sagely, rubbing his beardless chin. “Can’t say I feel sorry for you since I have to live with the wench.”
Jungkook grimaces. “Man. She’s insane around you too?”
Yoongi shrugs, walking over to your shared apartment. “I’m dating Seokjin, remember? Everyday, I suffer. Everyday, I feel my arm.”
When Jungkook steps into your apartment, he can’t help but be a little surprised. Of course, he shouldn’t have expected to see a medieval torture chamber in the middle of a metropolitan city, but he wouldn’t put it past you to somehow make it happen. Instead, he finds a fairly cozy-looking home, with comfy couches and filled bookshelves, complete with a small balcony that had a few fresh herbs growing in little pots. It looks…
“Yoongi-hyung. You definitely decorated, didn’t you?” Jungkook snorts, fingering the little kitty-patterned throw blanket draped on your couch. It’s soft and expensive, and definitely something only Yoongi would buy. The elder doesn’t even bother looking embarrassed; he just throws Jungkook the middle finger as he walks towards the kitchen.
You come out once more from one of the connecting rooms at the other end of the apartment, presumably your bedroom. You motion for Jungkook to come in. “Yoongi, you’re gonna bake all day, right? Mind if you let Jungkook and I speak alone in my room?”
Yoongi waves his hand disinterestedly. “Whatever. If you guys are gonna be freaky in there, I’m gonna start playing clown music to drown you guys out, alright? And I mean the remix versions with the extra clown honks.”
You roll your eyes. “Yea, yea. We get it. Grandpa needs his special time alone too.”
Jungkook’s heart jumps when you don’t even bother correcting him. Does that mean you guys really were going to do something freaky? Hopefully, Yoongi has learned to differentiate screams of terror from screams of pleasure, though it’s hard to tell if he’d care otherwise.
He follows you into your room and immediately notices the perfectly made bed and the neatly organized desk. Your curtains are drawn close, but the sheerness of it allows the mid-afternoon sun to brighten the room regardless. Your bedroom smells faintly of vanilla and cinnamon, and he notices the small scented candle still smoking from when you’d put it out.
Nothing in the room indicates that he was inside the room of a psychopath, though maybe Namjoon or Taehyung would argue that anyone who makes their bed every day might be a little out of it. Jungkook continues to stand awkwardly by the door, unsure of what to do next except to stare.
You plop onto your bed, giving him an expectant look. “Well? Are you just gonna stand there by the door and have Yoongi see us measure your dick or what?” That gets Jungkook to move. He closes the door, pausing for a second before locking it for good measure. Then, he takes the short two steps that he needs to stand right in front of you.
You crane your neck, appraising him silently as he fidgets from the weirdness of it all. Your gaze trails down and Jungkook is not surprised when you stop to stare at his neon pink shorts. You snort, thumbing the edge of his shorts lightly. Jungkook shivers even though you’re barely touching him and he knows that you notice.
“Trying to get back at me for leaving you with blue balls yesterday?” you muse, letting go of the thin material. Jungkook wants to bring your hand back to his thigh, but he forces himself to keep still.
He looks down. “Not really? But I mean… Is it working?” He can’t help the hopeful lilt in his voice.
You laugh, patting him lightly on the thigh. “No worries, Jungkook. I did promise you a little something last night, right? I admit it was shitty of me to leave you like that, despite what you already might think of me. You probably think I’m just some insane bitch, right?”
Jungkook stares at you. “Do you want me to be honest or...?”
You roll your eyes, but you seem more amused than anything. “Save it. I know I’m weird. But, a promise is a promise…” You trail off, winking at him. “Besides, this works out for the both of us, right? I wanted to measure your dick before we meet up with Taeyong and Doyoung tomorrow, and I can help you blow your rocks right after. Seems like a deal?”
“Is it bad that I’m so ready to have you suck me off that I’m honest to God accepting your offer without any sense of dignity?”
You consider him for a moment. Then, “Nah. I know dudes who would do worse things for three grand and to have their dick sucked. I’d say you’re just doing you.” You place your hands back on his hips, thumbing around the garter of his shorts.
Jungkook groans, not even flinching when you rip his shorts and boxers off in one rough flourish. His soft dick dangles heavily between his thighs. “See, I’m not entirely comforted knowing that you agree with my moral dilemma.”
You clap your hands together, excitement glittering in your expression. “Who cares! Let’s get you all hard and ready, shall we?”
Jungkook squirms under your gaze, getting dick stage fright. “H-hey… This isn’t like porn… I can’t just get hard when I want to, you know? I need… stimulation or some shit.”
You nod, humming thoughtfully. “You’re right… And I remember you said something about taking a long time to get fully hard, right? That’s gonna be a problem indeed.” You lean forward, “So. Tell me, Jungkook. What are your kinks?”
If Jungkook was drinking water, he’s sure he’d be doing a spit take right now. Instead, he just chokes on his own saliva, coughing out his lungs at your sudden inquiry. “M-my kinks? What for?”
“To get you hard, duh.” You leave featherlight grazes around his thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake. It stirs something inside Jungkook, but not enough to do anything yet. You tsk, your brow crumpling as you decide what to do next. “What if I…”
You dig your nails into the meat of his thighs and inadvertently pull him closer. He stumbles forward, his breath knocked out of him despite how little you’d done so far. “W-wait,” he wheezes, shock running down his spine. “I––”
You smirk at him, digging harder until you’re sure to leave white little crescents littered around his thigh. “Aha. I guessed you’d be into that. You liked it when I bit you yesterday, didn’t you?”
Jungkook can’t even answer. He’s trying to keep his breathing steady, squeezing his eyelids shut. He hears you shuffling in front of him, and he soon senses your body press closer to him, alerting him that you have stood up. You wrap your arms around his neck, bending his head down until he can feel your breath fan across his lips.
Are you going to kiss him? But the contact doesn’t come; instead, your hands snake up to his hair, massaging his scalp for a moment before tugging on his roots harshly. It pulls a whine from his lips, the response surprising even himself. “S-shit,” he grits his teeth, urging you to do it again. He opens his eyes slightly, sees you watching him with rapt attention.
You lick your lips, looking at him like a meal ready to be eaten. The heat in his stomach builds, but Jungkook doesn’t have it in him to be embarrassed anymore. He doesn’t really have any more room in his brain anymore other than his unabashedly horny thoughts.
“Pain slut, huh? Somehow, it suits you.” You sound breathy, as if you were the one being pleasured instead. It makes Jungkook’s cock twitch a little, coming to life in front of you as you continue to assault his nerves.
“Do you like pain everywhere?” Your hands leave his head, coming down to the edge of his shirt. It’s a silent request, and Jungkook allows you to lift up his sweater, leaving him completely bare before you. You throw it somewhere to your right, eyes raking him up and down. Something about you still being fully clothed makes Jungkook’s inside light on fire, and it rushes blood down south before he can even understand why.
You chuckle, looking at his hardened nipples with interest. “Pierced? What a naughty boy you are.” You flick him there experimentally, and when Jungkook’s breath hitches, that gives you a go sign to do more. You fiddle around with the rosy bud some more, circling it with the pads of your fingers until Jungkook was a whining mess before you. “Sensitive… What a prize you are, Jungkook.”
Jungkook keens at the praise, even though he knows you didn’t really mean it in a good way. He finds himself wanting to please you: to get himself hard for you, to make you want him like how he wants you. He honestly can’t tell if you’re enjoying this as much as him, other than the way you’re watching him closely like a hawk.
He’s nearly half-hard, his cock jutting against your stomach. You peer down, figuring out your next move as he holds his breath, afraid he might do something wrong. Your fingers move once more, tracing shapes across his stomach and causing the muscles there to contract. He anticipates your next movements, his dick steadily throbbing.
“I suppose the easiest way to get you hard is to touch you here, right?” you murmur lowly. You grip him by the hips all of a sudden, your thumbs placed firmly into his Adonis’ belt. You inch closer and closer to where he wants you the most, and you watch him amusedly as he clamps down on his bottom lip, unwilling to sound desperate so early in the game.
(Was it early though? He’s been thinking about this exact scenario since last night, even plaguing his dreams. Still, it wouldn’t look cool if he just… busted a nut just from having his dick out. Even he knew that was kinda sad.)
Despite his best efforts, perhaps the desperation is apparent on his face because you eventually do take pity on him. You wrap your fingers around his length, not moving just yet. You smile secretly to yourself when you hear Jungkook exhale and swallow audibly, but you’re waiting for something. You look up at him, batting your eyelashes innocently as if you didn’t have his dick in your hands.
“What do good boys say when they want something?” You’re fishing, but your teasing tone breaks Jungkook down enough to release a ragged moan. He places his hands on your shoulder, using you for support as you slowly inch your hand down to the base of his cock.
He can’t keep the whine out of his voice when he says, “P...Please. Move?”
Your grin is wicked. “Of course, baby.”
Yeah, if you keep this up, Jungkook is going to come embarrassingly fast and he doesn’t think you’ll be quite pleased with that.
There is pre-cum leaking at the tip of his cock, dangerously close to pooling over and dripping all over your carpet. You are quick to swipe it off with your thumb, dragging it down his shaft for an easier slide. Jungkook’s abs tense, his teeth clamping on his bottom lip so aggressively that he almost splits it open. His grip on your shoulders tighten, but you don’t mind. You keep stroking him languidly, not going fast enough for Jungkook’s liking, but the concentration on your face is enough to make Jungkook release a stilted moan. It doesn’t take long until the wet squelch of your hand jerking him fills the room, coupled with the sound of Jungkook’s labored breathing.
“You’re really wet,” you chuckle, watching with fascination as your words urge another drop of pre-cum to collect at his tip. “Are you always like this?”
“N-not… Really?” It takes a while for Jungkook’s brain to connect, caught between wanting to keep his eyes shut and wanting to stare at your cute hands trying to wrap around his dick. Your fingers can’t even circle the girth of his cock, the realization almost making Jungkook come there and then.
He’d never been one to be overly confident about his penis size, to be honest. He doesn’t really go around proclaiming it to the world, and his meager body count doesn’t help the fact that most people are unaware of the extent of his package. He isn’t itching to tell people either, but he’s starting to see why people would be envious of having a large dick. The sight of you struggling to pump his cock really makes for a pretty picture.
“Ugh, my arm is getting tired,” you complain after a while, getting frustrated when you realize that Jungkook is almost fully hard, but not quite. “Jeez. Your dick is so huge that it really takes a minute for the fuel tank to fill up, huh?”
“I-I’m sorry?” Jungkook wheezes, nearly crying out when you flick your wrist in just the right manner. Your hand pauses by the head of his dick, squeezing tightly enough not to be painful, much to his disappointment. Jungkook is still too shy to ask for more.
You let go of him all of a sudden, causing a guttural whine to escape Jungkook’s lips. Ignoring him, you nudge him back a few steps, Jungkook complying wordlessly. He’s still confused until you reach over to your bed, grabbing one of your pillows before dropping to your knees. Jungkook’s jaw drops, spluttering incomprehensibly as you cushion your knees with the pillow.
You look up, giggling amusedly. “Reminds you of last night, huh? Not gonna lie, I’ve been itching to have your cock in my mouth, though I’m not even sure if any of it can fit. That’s not gonna stop me from trying.”
Oh God. Oh Geez. Jungkook is going to die, isn’t he? He vaguely remembers his dream from the night before, how your pretty pink lips had stretched over his dick, barely going past his head. He whines pathetically, another string of pre-cum finally dripping down and landing on your thighs.
You hold him by his hips, preventing him from moving as your hot breath fans across his wet head. You lick your lips, taking one glance up at him before giving his tip a quick peck. It’s nothing to write home about, but the way Jungkook’s breath catches is enough to encourage you to do more. You suckle his head a little, suctioning your lips and moaning slightly at the bitter tang. Your eyes flutter shut, tongue swirling nondescript patterns as you greedily engrave his taste into your mind.
The image of you enjoying yourself is enough to get Jungkook fully hard. He feels like he’s on fire, from his flushed cheeks all the way to his groin. He doesn’t know where to put his hands, unsure if you’d allow him to pull on your hair.
You must have noticed his plight, because one of your hands leaves his hips to grasp his own, bringing it to your hair. You pop off his dick for a second, lips already redder than before. Jungkook wishes he could kiss you, but he’s still so unsure. “You can pull my hair, but if you push me down further than I’m willing to go, I’m stopping immediately, okay?” Your voice is authoritative and your gaze is steely, but it only prompts Jungkook to moan in reply.
He nods, nearly getting whiplash from how quickly his head bobs. You smirk, appeased by his obedience. You return to your ministrations, rewarding him by going further down and bobbing your head at a snail’s pace.
Jungkook’s sanity is barely hanging onto a thread. He wants to thrust into your wet mouth, never having felt this sort of pleasure in his life. He’s beginning to understand why Jimin is such a slut, and he wonders why on earth he’s been denying himself things like this. His eyes are half-lidded, but he’s determined to watch you as your masterful tongue brings him to the edge of hysteria.
When Jungkook doesn’t think your mouth can go further down, you surprise him once again. You go lower, and Jungkook feels your throat swallow around him until he nearly screams. Drool pools in the inside of his mouth, as if Jungkook’s body doesn’t know what to do with the pleasure. His legs nearly give out, but your hands keep him mounted.
His toes are curling, thighs trembling. “Fuck,” he whines, unable to stop himself when he thrusts a little into your mouth. “Shit, I didn’t mean to–”
You glance up at him. Your eyes are tearing up, but otherwise you look unperturbed. You flatten your tongue on the underside of his dick, tracing the vein there as you slowly come up for air. You swallow the mix of saliva and pre-cum in your mouth, licking your lips like you’ve just had a 5-star meal. You look absolutely debauched, though Jungkook knows he’s probably not doing much better.
“No gag reflex. It’s fine,” you shrug, as if you’d just told him about the weather. Your voice sounds hoarse, roughened by the assault of his dick on your throat. “Are you close?”
Jungkook doesn’t want to admit it, but– “Yes,” he says. He’s breathing like he’s just run a marathon, sweat dripping down his neck. You observe it drip down his body, as it curves down his neck and to his chest.
“You aren’t coming until I say so, got it?” You warn. He nods, cock twitching in desperation for your mouth to continue what it was doing.
But instead, you reach back to your bed, and Jungkook finally notices the tape measure that you’d left there. Oh right. Jungkook is brought back to reality, suddenly remembering why he’d gone here in the first place.
“This will only take a second, baby,” you whisper lowly, and Jungkook’s conscience is shot out of his head once more. Call him baby one more time, and Jungkook is sure to bust his load. He’s worried he might gain a Pavlovian response to the word; getting hard every time someone so much as utters “baby” for whatever reason.
You unravel the measuring tape, placing the end of it near the base of his member. You drag it over his length, whistling in awe as the number keeps growing and growing. “Shit, you really are huge,” you gasp in amazement, peering closely at the measurement to make sure you aren’t reading it wrong. “Nearly nine inches. Are you insane?”
Jungkook chuckles in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s… nothing?”
You snort, shaking your head at the pure audacity of this boy in front of you. “No need to humblebrag, baby. Unless you want me to degrade you, then stop being coy with me.”
At the word “degrade,” Jungkook’s erection twitches with interest. Of course, you notice. “Oh? You want me to degrade you?”
Jungkook’s face heats up, forever astonished by your brazenness. “N-no! That’s not what I–”
“You want me to call your cock pathetic, huh? Is that what you want?”
Jungkook whines, shifting from foot to foot as he tries to avoid your lustful gaze. “I…”
“Want me to call you names, huh? Took your cock so long to get hard, struggled so much to get it up. What a useless dick that you have…” you trail off, covering your mouth behind your hand to hide your grin.
Jungkook feels like he’s about to fall over. The pressure in between his legs is reaching his breaking point, and Jungkook really doesn’t want to embarrass himself by coming untouched. He has a sinking suspicion you’d enjoy it if he did, however.
Your hand slides back to his crotch, cupping his erection once more. You run your palm along him once, enjoying the way his breath hitches. He’s undeniably close and it fills you with pride knowing that you did this to him. “You’re close.” You say it like a fact.
Jungkook squirms. “Please… Faster… I’m so close, Y/N. Just a lil bit more, please…”
“I love it when you beg,” you laugh, sounding a little mean. “But since you’ve been nice all this time, I’ll let you.”
Your hands speed up, twisting and pulling him in ways that Jungkook isn’t sure are possible. He’s full-on panting like a fucking dog right now, humping shallowly into your hand like he’s lost his mind. He’s so unbelievably close, the heat in his stomach climbing higher and higher until––
“SHIT! Y/N!”
You stop, confused. That shout didn’t sound like Jungkook. You turn to your closed door, ears straining for the sound again. “Yoongi?” you call out. “Did you say something?”
Muffled footsteps come rushing closer. Your doorknob jiggles, but Jungkook had thankfully locked it when he’d come into the room earlier. Yoongi huffs from behind the door, banging loudly on the frame. “Y/N! Help! I fucking dropped the cheesecake!”
“He dropped the cheesecake,” you repeat dully to yourself. You share a look with Jungkook. The banging doesn’t stop.
��Y/N PLEASEEE THE KITCHEN IS A MESS!” Yoongi screams, uncaring of whatever he was interrupting. “YOU OWE ME! I PAID FOR YOUR RENT LAST MONTH SO YOU GOTTA HELP!”
“I hate that bastard,” you sigh, defeated. You let go of Jungkook reluctantly, giving him an apologetic look. Jungkook wants to cry. “I’m… really sorry for leaving you again like this. I…” you hesitate, looking at the door then back to him. “I do kind of owe him, so…”
Jungkook exhales shakily, bending down to the floor to pick his shirt up. He dresses quietly, cheeks burning. Why must you keep torturing him like this? He thinks his balls might explode at this point. “It’s no problem… I’ll just take care of myself at home.”
You peer at him, feeling incredibly guilty. “I have a connecting bathroom. You could use it if you want?”
“That’d be great, thanks.” Jungkook says before hurriedly rushing out of there. He refuses to look at you as he slams the bathroom door shut, breathing slowly through his nostrils in an attempt to calm himself. He waits as he listens for you to leave before his hands scramble back onto his dick, loudly crying out as he tugs himself to completion.
His legs give out from under him as he slides down to the floor, spurts of hot cum flying past his fist. Wave after wave of pleasure tingles down his spine as he slides up and down his cock. After his dick shoots its last droplet of cum, Jungkook slams his head against your bathroom wall. He’s exhausted.
He closes his eyes, thinks about how his life has led him up to this moment. Jizzing in some near stranger’s home while one of his best friends cleans up his fallen cheesecake.
“Jesus fucking Christ I hate it here,” he says. He gets up unsteadily, washing his hands of his mess.
x x x x x
Fully dressed and unsatisfyingly sated, Jungkook exits your bathroom with a flush down his neck. He keeps his eyes averted from you, but not before glaring heatedly at Yoongi as he turns to leave. Yoongi cocks his head to the side, annoyingly unaware of what he had done.
“You okay, dude? You look like a bull ready to pummel me,” Yoongi snickers, bemused by Jungkook’s flared nostrils. “Seriously. You okay?”
You slap Yoongi on the thigh, huffing angrily as you stay squatted on the floor, your other hand busy wiping off the cheesecake from the floor with a paper towel. “Shut up. You’ve done enough shitheadery today.”
Yoongi looks at the mounted clock on your fridge. “It’s only 7PM. My shitheadery doesn’t clock out until 10PM today.”
Rolling his eyes, Jungkook waves his goodbye. “Well. I guess I’ll see you guys,” he murmurs, inching closer to the door. He walks out in silence, no longer bothering to hide his pouting. He takes the elevator down, ruminating on his existence. When he reaches the ground floor, his phone immediately dings with a notification.
from: y/n l/n ❣️ hey. please don’t hate me. i’m really sorry. raincheck?
Jungkook snorts, stopping in his tracks. It’s always just rainchecks with you. He types up a quick response.
from: jjk it’s not your fault. it’s fine.
from: y/n l/n ❣️ you sure? you got off well by yourself at least, right?
from: jjk yeah. don’t worry about it.
from: y/n l/n ❣️ if you’re down… i could help you through the phone? when you get home? :( i just feel really bad. like, genuinely. yoongi is an asshole.
The offer sounds interesting, but sadly, Jungkook is out of juice for the day. He’s got a lot of stamina for many things, but it turns out he’s out of practice when it comes to his own dick.
from: jjk nah it’s fine. thanks though.
from: y/n l/n ❣️ i hope you’re still down for the contest? doyoung texted me while we were busy a while ago and said that they were free tomorrow after 12?
from: jjk no worries. i’ll be there.
from: y/n l/n ❣️ <3 ty you’re the best!! <3
He groans, slapping himself in the face. God, he is so fucking whipped.
x x x x x
The next day, Jungkook wakes up with a burning headache. He feels hungover even though he didn’t drink at all the night before, and Jungkook wonders if his brain had somehow deflated overnight with how hollow he feels. He grabs his phone from his bed stand, sees a new text from you reminding him of what he’d promised.
You had sent him an address to another apartment complex just a few bus stops away from where he lives and he assumes this must be either Doyoung’s or Taeyong’s place. He shuts his eyes for another few moments, trying his best to remember how to live.
It’s already nearing noon, so he needs to get going if he doesn’t want to be late. He shudders to think what you might do if he ghosts you. Despite how guilty you were yesterday for leaving him mid-nut, he doesn’t think that debt will cover him if he chooses not to show up to the dick-measuring contest.
On the bus, he fidgets in his seat, picking at the rips in his jeans and doing anything to keep his mind busy. He keeps thinking that someone knows what he’s up to, paranoia eating him from the inside out as he darts his eyes left and right, hoping no one can actually read minds. The bus is relatively empty, with only him and an elderly couple sitting near the front. They seem none the wiser, though Jungkook fears what they would think if they knew what he was up to.
He almost wishes he was wearing Seokjin’s thot shorts, as the skimpy excuse of clothing had somehow given him some sort of confidence the day before. Gone is that false sense of (misplaced) bravado; instead, Jungkook is filled with anxiety at the prospect of showing a couple of strangers his dick.
(A fairly human response, but that doesn’t help Jungkook’s current case.)
He arrives at the apartment complex in record time, and he sees you standing by the entrance. You look well-rested, your hands fiddling with your phone. Jungkook has only ever seen you when you were wearing that revealing dress from the club and your pajamas from your home, so he’s kind of shocked to see you look cute in your simple white dress and jean jacket. Not that you didn’t look good those other times, but seeing you look like a normal university student is astonishing, for lack of better word.
You almost look like a regular girl just waiting for her date to pick her up.
“Hey!” You greet him cheerily when you see him approach, waving at him. He waves back, the apples of his cheeks dusted pink from his previous thoughts. She’s not your date, you weirdo. Wait, she’s the weirdo. Get it together man! This shit is fucked up.
“This is their place, I assume?” Jungkook asks, looking at the building. It appears almost identical to your own apartment complex, minus the mini water fountain at the front. Ah, the wonders of living in a concrete jungle.
“Yep,” you nod. You start walking towards the entrance, with Jungkook following closely. “You ready? God, I can’t wait to see Doyoung’s stupid face. He’s gonna be so pissed!”
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jungkook mutters, vibrating with nerves.
You both make your way to the apartment, with you humming quietly while he sweats profusely beside you. At least one of you is having fun, he thinks grimly to himself. You reach apartment 322, knocking three times before a boy with neat black hair opens the door.
“Y/N! Good to see you,” the boy says, reaching for a hug. You hug him back enthusiastically, ignoring Jungkook’s bemused stares. If this boy is either Doyoung or Taeyong, aren’t you supposed to… hate both of their guts? Or at least, not be friends? What even is going on?
When you step back, you point at Jungkook offhandedly. “Oh yeah, this is Jungkook. The guy I’m dating.”
Jungkook nearly chokes on his own spit, but luckily the boy doesn’t notice. Right… You guys are supposed to be dating. It’s not real, though. Get a grip! “Hi, I’m Jungkook,” he wheezes, shaking the other guy’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you…”
“I’m Doyoung,” he introduces himself, a small smile on his lips. “Nice to meet you too. I’ve heard… a lot about you, so to speak.”
Jungkook squeaks, earning a chuckle from Doyoung. “No need to be embarrassed. I think we’re way past that point now. Sorry for roping you into this, by the way. But when Y/N wants to fight, well… Let’s just say I’m not going to be the first one who backs down.”
“Says the dude who couldn’t even beat me at arm wrestling,” you snort, pushing past Doyoung and walking into his home. Doyoung rolls his eyes, gesturing for Jungkook to come in.
“Props to you for dating her, by the way. I’ve been friends with that demon since elementary school, so I know what she’s like. You must be a guy with strong willpower,” Doyoung says.
“I’m… Sorry for saying this, but I’m kind of confused? I didn’t know you guys were friends,” Jungkook says, examining Doyoung’s apartment. It’s a lot bigger than yours, though he does recall you saying that Doyoung was filthy rich. It’s a lot more modern looking for sure, as Jungkook can see that Doyoung has two industrial-sized refrigerators in his kitchen. What kind of university student needs two industrial-sized refrigerators?
“Yeah, we are. She actually only dated Taeyong because she knew we both liked each other but I was too stubborn to make a move, so she did the only thing she knew how to do: be an asshole,” he explains simply. Jungkook nods, needing no further clarification.
“Jungkook! Come with me,” you pop out from one of the doorways deeper in the apartment, beckoning him closer. You point at Doyoung, “And you. Get Taeyong ready. I’m gonna need a few minutes to get Jungkook in tip-top shape!”
Doyoung chuckles, shoving Jungkook towards you. “Well, that’s my cue. I’ll introduce you to Taeyong later, I guess. He’s in my bedroom, so we’ll come out in about 20 minutes? That should be enough time, right?”
Yeah. Right. Jungkook walks numbly towards you, arms rigged by his sides as you pull him into Doyoung’s spare bathroom. You lock the door close, whirling around to face him with your hands on your hips. You’ve rolled your sleeves up, appearing like a demented surgeon preparing to dissect him. “Well! Strip!”
Jungkook is clumsy when he unbuttons his jeans, his entire body feeling like it’s being weighed down by pounds of lead. He shucks them off, leaving him in his boxers (thankfully, with no holes in them. He made sure to double-check before he left this morning.) You appraise him silently, thinking of what to do next.
Before Jungkook can say anything, your hands are already on his chest, pointer fingers placed near his nipples. His piercings are visible through his thin shirt, much to your appreciation. You circle them lazily, much like how you did yesterday.
Jungkook can’t relax long enough to enjoy it, however. His shoulders are tense, fists clenched behind his back. He’s trying to stop thinking about what’s going to happen, trying to enjoy your touch. He grits his teeth, swallowing thickly.
“I… I can’t do this, Y/N.” he mumbles. “I don’t think I can get hard. I’m too nervous.”
You pause in your movements. “You’re nervous?” you purr, voice lowering. Jungkook stops fidgeting to stare at you, sensing the shift in your demeanor. “How can I alleviate that, hmm?”
“What?”
You pinch his nipples, hard. He gasps, whimpering right after from the jolt of pain. “I think I know how to calm you down,” you murmur, staring him down like he’s nothing more than a delicious snack.
“You want me to hurt you, huh? Is that it? Answer me, slut.” You say those words, but there’s a small bit of hesitation in your expression, like you’re worried if he truly likes it. When he nods enthusiastically, urging you to go on, you smile softly at him. His heart hammers in his chest, a small case of butterflies beginning to erupt there. You look kinda cute, even if you have his nipples in a twist.
“If it’s too much, just say ‘dumbo’ and I’ll stop, okay?” Jungkook nods once more, eager to get going.
You smirk, letting go of his nipples and gripping his hips instead. Your thumbs stay innocently above his boxers. “Do you like it when I call you names too, huh? You like being pinched and prodded?”
Jungkook whines, already turning needy. The anxiety from a while ago slowly drains away, leaving only lust to cloud his mind. “N-no, I just…”
“No?” You laugh, your thumbs catching on the garter of his boxers and pulling them down until the tip of his cock peeks out, already in the midst of getting hard. “Then what’s this?”
“Nggh…” Jungkook can’t say anything, can only stare helplessly at you.
“Pathetic. You have a nine-inch cock but it’s good for nothing except earning me a bit of money. Shame, isn’t it? Would be nice if you knew how to use it, then maybe I’d let you fuck me,” you say, edging closer to him until your lips find his exposed collarbones. You suck harshly, giddy when color immediately blooms at the spot. You thread your fingers into his dark, fluffy hair – and tug.
It’s too much all at once – Jungkook isn’t ready for any of it at all. He’s panting, whining, drooling a little. He shimmies his hips a little, his boxers sliding down his thighs and onto the marble floor. His cock springs free, already dripping pre-cum but still only half-hard.
“Ah, there it is. Your big useless cock. My, my��� Already dirtying Doyoungie’s floor with your slick, huh? You gonna make the floor wet, baby?”
Jungkook garbles something; did he say something? Who knows. All he knows right now is that 1) you’re making him lose his marbles and 2) he’s embarrassingly close. He’s never gotten this hard so fast in his entire life, and he might be suffering from blood loss or something. His head feels light, like he’s floating. His entire body is thrumming, senses filled with nothing but you.
You gently lead him closer to the bathtub where you sit, still paying no attention to his weeping arousal. Your mouth is dangerously close to it though, but you make no move to hold him in your mouth. Instead, you hike your skirt up until it reaches your waist, revealing your white panties. Jungkook zeroes in on the darkening patch, a shuddering breath leaving his lungs. He’s screwed.
“Show me how you pleasured yourself yesterday, when you were in my bathroom,” you say, caressing the front of your panties. You grind against your palm, eyelashes fluttering as your jaw drops into an ‘o’. You exhale through your nose, laughing breathily. “If you do well, then maybe I’ll show you what I did when you left, hmm?”
Jungkook has never moved faster in his life than he did then. He takes his erection into his hands, sighing with relief when he begins to pump. He moves slower than he usually would, unwilling to finish so soon after getting this far. He’s already wound up from your teasing (and if you count the past few days, then let’s say he’s been edged long enough.)
You study him with sharp eyes, focusing on the movement of his hands. “That’s it. It must be easy jerking off with how wet you are, huh?”
“Y-yeah.” Jungkook speeds up, flicking his wrist and focusing on the sensitive tip of his cock. His attention is pulled when he sees you shift from the corner of his eye. His grip stutters when you push your panties to the side, giving him a full view of your glistening core. He licks his lips, aching to put his mouth there but only if you’d allow him.
“Why’d you stop?” You stretch your leg out, using your foot to urge his wrist to keep moving. “Come on. I want to see you.”
You circle your clit leisurely before dipping your fingers into your pussy two fingers at a time, wet enough for the slide to be smooth. Jungkook quickens his pace, wanting to match your speed. He watches, mesmerized, at the sight of your fingers pushing in and out.
The obscene sounds coming from the both of you is loud enough to mask Jungkook’s desperate mewls. He’s going faster now, wanting nothing more than to cum all over you and your pussy. You’d look good in his cum, the pearly droplets would look good in contrast with your perfect skin.
Your thighs are shaking, your own breathing shallow as you quickly approach your end. You’re moaning in tandem with him, your arousal coating your fingers generously as it begins to run down the back of your hand. You’re scissoring yourself, but it’s barely enough when you compare it to Jungkook’s cock. No, nothing would be enough to prepare you to take him. He’d ruin you, and the thought of him breaking you is enough to help you tip over the edge.
“Fuuuuuuck,” you moan, eyes screwing shut as you are wrought with the strongest orgasm of your life. More wetness drips out of you as you rub frantically at your clit, riding your high. You look at Jungkook through your eyelashes, lips parted. “Fuck,” you repeat.
Jungkook can’t hold back anymore. He knows he shouldn’t cum but the pleasure is skyrocketing at an unparalleled speed. His balls tighten, the heat in his abdomen building until he can’t hold back even if he tried. He shudders once, twice, before jets of his cum spills from over his fist, some of the droplets making their way onto your thighs. He moans at the sight, doesn’t try to change his trajectory as his mind is completely hazed with lust. “Shit, I’m–” Jungkook grinds one last time into his hand, before promptly slumping down onto the floor.
“Jesus, that was a lot of cum,” he hears you say, but he can’t bring himself to look at you. He’s ashamed, having cummed without your permission. He can feel his dick softening underneath him, and he dimly remembers that hadn’t been the plan at all. He was supposed to get hard, have his dick measured, and then finish if he was allowed. And now, he ruined everything because he couldn’t hold himself back.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” he mutters quietly, hiding behind his cum-stained hands. He cringes when the mess enters his eyes, wiping his palm somewhere on his leg. “Fuck. I messed everything up. You were just… It was too much… You…”
“Should’ve used your safety word, Jungkook.”
“It wasn’t because it was bad,” Jungkook’s cheeks flush, “It was… too good.”
You kneel beside him, cradling his chin and forcing him to look at you. He had been afraid to see disappointment in your eyes, so he’s absolutely surprised to see you look… amused. You’re even giggling a little.
“Sorry. I went a bit overboard. Even I get horny sometimes,” you shrug, wiping a bit of cum away from his forehead. Your own fingers are slick with your own cum, so really, you were just making a bigger mess of his face. Jungkook can’t say he’s opposed to a little mess. “You just looked so good that I couldn’t help myself.”
“You… enjoyed yourself, too? I’m not insane for thinking there’s something between us?”
“Honestly, you’re at least a little bit insane,” you laugh at his dumbfounded expression. “What? I’m cuckoo, and you know it. The fact that you got turned on by me even after all I’d done to you… Really puts you into perspective, huh?”
Jungkook grumbles, but he’s no longer frowning. “I guess. My friends tell me I have a type, and I guess you fit the bill.”
You laugh wholeheartedly at that, and it brings a smile to Jungkook’s face. He likes it when you laugh, he decides. “Same here. I guess you’re my type, too.”
You peer down at his flaccid dick. “Too bad about your meat flute, though. Unless you can get it back up in the next 2 minutes, then I don’t think you’re getting that three grand.”
“Please don’t call my dick that,” Jungkook says before shrugging his shoulders. “And it’s no worries. I had the biggest nut of my life and that’s good enough to me. Plus, you said you’d give me one thousand dollars if I agreed to help you out, so you better not back out on that.”
You snigger, patting him gently on the shoulder. “Yeah, whatever. But not before we get out of here and you fuck my brains out, got it? You need to work for it, baby.”
Is it bad that his cock was already beginning to stir once more? Unprecedented, as it usually took Jungkook ages to get back up. Maybe you really were the one for him.
“Deal. Let’s get out of here?”
When the two of you finish getting cleaned up and leave the bathroom with no evidence that you had even been there, Doyoung doesn’t even bat an eye as you walk past him, eager to get out of the door. Taeyong is lounging on the couch with his dick… mysteriously still in his pants, as if he had no intention of taking them off in the first place.
“Sorry, we need to leave. There’s an emergency we have to attend to. See you, Doyoungie!” You tug Jungkook along, who waves his own hasty goodbye.
The door clicks shut, leaving the couple alone once more. Taeyong grins up at Doyoung, “You really are amazing, Doyoung. How’d you know she’d end up with him?”
Doyoung flicks open his phone, showing Taeyong his text messages with none other than Kim Seokjin himself. “All according to keikaku, my love. Kim Seokjin always wins.”
8K notes · View notes
littleredwing89 · 4 years ago
Text
AGENT OF CHAOS - PART THREE
Tumblr media
AGENT OF CHAOS - PART THREE
Jason Todd x Reader
Summary: Everything flew by him in a blur as he sped through the streets of Gotham. His foot slammed down harder on the accelerator desperate to get there faster. Every second counted. He knew all too well what The Joker was like. The way his face slipped as you defied him, terrified Jason. He’d seen that look right before receiving a crowbar to the face.
Warnings – Language. Kidnapping. Stalking. Mild Violence. Angst. Hurt.
Word Count: 4,870
A/N: This is the final chapter everyone, sorry for the little delay, I was working on a few of the actions scenes to ensure they were good. I really hope you all like this xoxo
~~~
It had been almost a month. Every lead turned into a dead end. Nothing. Much like the Joker himself, no one knew a thing. The whole thing was tearing Jason apart. He’d barely slept. He’d maybe had 3 hours per night. If that, and he was convinced the only reason he got sleep was because Bruce had slipped him something in his coffee.
The fourth cassette tape came with a dead yellow rose and a rotten apple. He pushed play on the recorder and swallowed thickly as the grainy camera zoomed in on your face. You looked pale. Your cheeks looked hollow and your once colourful eyes looked gaunt. Haunted.
“Well Jason, I’m a man of my word...I’ve been looking after her so good”, Joker laughed hysterically and smoothed his hand down your cheek, smacking it lightly. The slap caused you to jolt in the chair. A sharp gasp flew out of your chapped lips.
Jason felt Bruce’s hand squeeze his shoulder reassuringly. The notion sent a brief wave of calm through Jason. Maybe this was how Bruce felt all those years ago...when he received similar tape of ..of himself. Jason turned back to the screen and focused his eyes. Searching for a clue. Anything. Something to bring you back to him.
“She’s been such a good little princess bird boy...she’s done everything I asked...and more”, Joker whistled happily as he tapped your nose with a wicked smile. Jason felt his heart stop and looked directly into your eyes through the screen. Good he wanted to hold you in his arms and never let you go. 
The tape skipped and replayed the same thing back, “...and more”. It skipped again, “...and more”. Jason growled and the tape paused before going completely black.
His fist smashed into the computer keyboard, pieces of black plastic scattering across the desk. Jason released a loud sobbing noise and sank to the cold stone floor of the bat cave. His eyes scrunched shut tightly, imagining you were in front of him. Giving him that silly smile you always did when you first woke up. It was one of his favourite smiles. You had hundreds of different types of smiles. The one you gave him when he hugged you randomly. The one you’d give him when he told you a stupid joke. The one you’d show him when you were both standing down one of the grocery aisles for no reason at all.
“Jason...son - we will find her - I promise you”, Bruce’s deep voice shattered Jason’s illusion of you in his mind.
“It’s been so long...what if-”, Jason ran a hand over his face. The stubble was longer, causing him to itch.
“Don’t”, Bruce warned, “don’t think like that. We will find her”.
~~~
The last cassette tape Jason received was covered in a dark, red sticky substance. Jason knew what it was but he didn’t know if it was yours. Before Jason could even think about playing it, Bruce had prized it from his fingers.
“Jason we need to analyse the blood, it might give us a clue”, his voice was stable and deep. He attempted to reassure Jason with a firm grip to the shoulder but it did nothing. Jason felt empty without you.
“We need to watch-”, Jason started but was interrupted by Bruce.
“No, I’ll watch it. You need to get some sleep, let me do this Jason. Please”, Bruce pleaded desperately, “You haven’t slept in over 48 hours”.
Jason laughed but it was hollow and sharp, “You really think I can sleep knowing she’s stuck with that fucking psycho?!”.
Bruce sighed and ran a hand over his face, “Jason I know you want to get Y/N back”, he placed the cassette onto a high tech scanning machine, it bleeped repeatedly as it scanned over the material, “But we all need to be working together and that means recharging our batteries”.
Jason scoffed and pushed past Bruce looking over the computer scanner typing something into the system, “So you’re telling me you went and had an eight hour sleep when Joker caught me?”.
Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, “Jason”.
“JUST STOP!!”, Jason's voice cracked as he shouted and for a moment, he sounded like the broken man in the abandoned shopping mall that long Halloween night many years ago.
“I-I need to do this Bruce. I-I have to, for Y/N”, his voice was scratchy and raw. 
Bruce simply nodded and turned around. He extracted the cassette from the blood stained cloth and pushed it into the player to the right. Bruce took a secondary glance to Jason, giving him one last option but Jason just stared at the screen, waiting to see what the tape would show.
The second the tape played, the batcave was filled with your screams. They sounded broken and dry. Jason’s heart shattered. The shards stabbing him painfully. As you came into view on the camera, your long h/c hair was matted and stuck to your face. Blood staining it a deep red.
The Joker came into the view of the camera and smiled wide, his teeth showing.
“Jason, I see why you’re so attached to this woman, she’s very fiery...her spirit is impenetrable”.
A flicker of evil flew through his eyes at that word and a sick smile slid onto his lips, “but that’s fine. I’m sure I can find more penetrable spots”.
You tug harshly at your binds as he turned and came closer to you, a small blade held in his gloves hand.
“Hold still princess or I might accidentally cut an important part of you...or slit something”.
The blade cut the straps of your top, and the material fluttered down uselessly to the floor, exposing your padded black bra. The Joker whistled appreciatively and winked back at the camera.
“I say Jason...maybe I’m missing out not having a significant other...especially when they’re as beautiful as this”.
Jason had edged so close to the screen Bruce had to pull him back. Tears were running hotly down his cheeks and he swore he tasted blood from biting down on his bottom lip.
Your voice echoed through the empty warehouse room and through the camera speakers, “GO FUCK YOURSELF”.
The Joker smirked down at you and the blade was pressed against the skin of your neck.
“You should watch your manners, princesses don’t speak like that”.
You gulped and looked into his soulless eyes and laughed. It almost sounded as maniacal as his.
“I’m not your fucking princess”.
You spat at his face. Your spit mingled with blood from the earlier smack around the face.
“He’ll come for me...I know he will. And when he does, it’ll be all over for you”.
Something snapped and you saw his eyes darken. His face twisted and the scowl was demonic.
“You filthy fucking bitch!”, he roared and dropped the knife to wipe his face.
Joker turned to the camera and glowered, “I hope you’re watching Jason whilst I teach this rotten little whore some manners!”.
The first blow caused you to cry out in agony. It was harsh and fast. The sound to Jason was ear splitting. The second hit was drawn out and heavy. Designed to bruise. The third was sharp and felt like hundreds of tiny needles piercing your skin. The Joker was laughing wildly all the way through it. Never ceasing his treatment. As he swung his arm back for the fourth hit, the camera jarred and caught a window. Streams of light shone through. Jason could just about make out a sign. It was blurry.
“REWIND AND PAUSE IT BRUCE! There!!!”, he called and waited for Bruce to zoom in.
“Can you clear up that image...that looks like a road sign...”.
Bruce skipped the tape back several seconds, muting the sounds on the screen. The sounds of you getting smacked in the face shaking him to his core. 
“THERE!!! LOOK!! Can you see?!”, Jason pressed his face as close as possible to the screen as Bruce paused it, the image flickered but the road sign was obvious. 
ACE CHEMICALS.
Before Bruce could even react, Jason had launched himself across the cave, guns strapped to his thighs.
“Jason!”.
Jason ignored Bruce and grabbed his helmet, securing it into place whilst dropping extra magazine clips into his inner jacket pockets.
“Jason, we can’t just go in there all guns blazing. That’s what he’ll want! We have to think about this”, Bruce reasoned and moved into his path.
Huffing in annoyance, Jason’s modulator covered it easily, “I’m going to get her whether you come with me or not”.
Bruce looked stunned for a split second before softening his voice, “You’re letting your emotions get the better of you - they’re clouding your judgment Jason”.
He knew he was right, deep down. But the pressure. The torture you must have endured. Everything. It weighed down on Jason and began to suffocate him slowly. The more time he wasted, the worse it was going to be. He couldn’t do it.
“Let me get into my suit and we’ll tackle this together”.
Nodding briefly, Jason watched Bruce make his way across to the darkened corner of the cave where his suit was behind a glass panel. As Bruce pressed his palm into the wall, the biometric scanner bleeped. The case slid open slowly and Bruce began to take out the suit piece by piece. The batarangs refracted the light they caught from the computer screens.
Fuck. It was taking too long, these precious seconds. He could be half way there by now. His bike was too far away, in the garage at the front of the manor. He side eyed the batmobile and swallowed thickly.
“Fuck it”.
Taking the keys from the secret sliding panel on the desk, Jason leapt into the batmobile before starting the engine and speeding out of the cave. He swore he heard Bruce shouting, he was certain he heard several curse words too. Unlike Bruce. But it was taking too long. He couldn’t wait. He couldn’t leave you. You needed him. You couldn’t wait any longer.
~~~
Everything flew by him in a blur as he sped through the streets of Gotham. His foot slammed down harder on the accelerator desperate to get there faster. Every second counted. He knew all too well what The Joker was like. The way his face slipped as you defied him, terrified Jason. He’d seen that look right before receiving a crowbar to the face.
“Come on...come on!!”, Jason cursed to himself, hitting the steering wheel in fury. All the money Bruce had and it wouldn’t go any faster? He took a sharp turn heading towards the abandoned warehouse behind ACE Chemicals. He was so close. So much closer to reaching you. He’d deal with Bruce later. He couldn’t have waited any longer. Bruce would just have to get over him ‘borrowing’ the batmobile.
Swerving another corner and narrowly dodging the underpass columns, he pulled up in front of the derelict building. Almost all of the windows were smashed and hued green with mould. Maybe some of the toxins spewed from the factory had helped taint the glass further.
Grabbing both of his pistols, Jason left the car and headed towards the building fire escape. He could hear voices chattering.
“Joker said to keep an eye out for Batman”.
A goon; Jason noted peering around the brick wall spotting two of them. He noticed the metal railings above them creaking slightly in the strong winds.
“It’s been over a month now and there’s been no sign of any of the Bat freaks, it’s fine, let’s go grab a beer. He won’t even notice”, a second one encouraged the other smirking.
“You really want to cross him? He’s fucking nuts. I’m surprised the girl has even lasted this long with him, you know what he’s like”.
Jason’s fist tightened around one of his guns at the mention of you. It had to be you. Silently firing his grapple gun, he flew up the side of the building and made his way towards the goons.
“Trust me”, the first one spoke again, “He won’t even realise we’re gone, plus we might find some chicks to-”.
Perching on the railings above them, Jason leapt down cracking the base of his pistols onto one of their heads.
“Pleasure to meet you both”, Jason kicked out at the second goon hearing the sick crack of his ankle snapping.
Spinning on his heel, Jason grabbed the other goon and threw him face first into the brick wall knocking him unconscious immediately before turning back to the other man on the floor whimpering in pain.
“Where is she?”, Jason’s voice was strained even with the modulator protecting him.
The man refused to answer, dragging himself away from Jason with his hands, mud covering his palms.
Taking a large step, Jason reached the man on the floor and purposely stood onto his swollen ankle before aiming the cocked pistol towards his skull.
“I won’t ask again, where is she?”.
The screech from the man was deafening as Jason applied a hefty amount of pressure to his fractured bone.
“Basement!! She’s in the basement!! Please!!”, he begged as his eyes flickered nervously to the gun.
Jason rolled his shoulders before smashing the hilt of his pistol into his skull knocking him out cold. He turned back towards the fire escape and grappled back up to the roof. He’d have to make his way through the building to get to the basement. To you. And if he knew Joker, he wouldn’t have made it that easy. The two idiots on the front door were a sick joke. Tormenting Jason. Getting you back wouldn’t be an easy task.
~~~
Silently dropping through the window on top of the building, Jason landed onto one of the rusty steel girders. It was dark but his helmet adjusted the night vision so he could see clearly. Several goons patrolling an old foreman’s office in the centre. You had to be in there. He needed to take these idiots out quietly before getting to you.
Swinging across to the next rafter, Jason looked down at the first unsuspecting moron. With the stealth of a panther, he landed silently behind the goon before wrapping his arm around his meaty neck. He struggled against the iron grip of Jason’s forearm but the pressure only intensified the more he thrashed. Eventually the squirming stopped and the goon fell limp in his arms. Jason dragged him across to a darkened corner and dumped him behind some barrels.
As he grappled back up to roof beams, he looked down across at the two henchmen digging out a packet of cigarettes. The idiots had left their guns resting against the far wall. Jason had to chuckle to himself, Joker really was hiring morons. Weren’t these guys supposed to be protection? 
Jason creeped across the rafters towards the two men and grabbed both of his pistols. He had to be silent. He couldn’t alert Joker to his presence.
“This is my last smoke”, one complained bitterly as the cigarette perched between his thin lips.
“I’ll get the next packet, quit your whining”, the second growled and patted his jacket for a lighter, “Fuck, where did I put my lighter?”.
“You’re a fucking moron. You asked to come for a smoke and you don’t even have a light!!”.
Now was his chance. Jason landed between them both, his boots thudding as he hit the concrete floor, “You know, smoking is bad for your health”. Before either of the goons could react, Jason lifted his elbow into the larger man's throat before smashing his pistol into the other man's temple, causing him to drop onto his knees. He slipped his guns back into his holsters quickly before turning to the other goon. He dodged the larger man’s grapple before twisting with ease and kicking out his kneecap. The man gasped but the elbow to his throat had killed off his voice.
Jason threw a heavy right hook into the larger man's nose and watched the blood trickle down his face. This seemed to only infuriate him more and he launched himself towards Jason viciously. Gripping both of his arms, Jason flipped the man over his body and slammed him into the floor hard before hammering punch after punch to his face, knocking him unconscious.
He turned quickly to the other man who was scrambling on his knees for the gun resting against the far wall.
“Sorry bud, but that can’t happen”, Jason grunted and landed a heavy kick to the goons stomach. The man yelped but it was quickly cut off by Jason as he slammed his boot into his face. He dropped onto the floor instantly.
Jason panted heavily and looked around the room, his helmet advising him of one more goon loitering around the door of the office. Looking down at the floor he noticed the floor grates wrapped around the room and more importantly under the henchmen’s feet. Perfect.
He lifted one of the grate coverings quietly and slipped under the flooring. He crouched down and edged around the room. The last goon was much larger and bulkier, with a machine gun strapped around his wide chest.
This goon seemed smarter than the others. Looking around and even checking up in the rafters. He grunted and pressed a button on his jacket, “No boss, still no sign of them...nothing Sir”.
The voice that patched through sent a chill down Jason’s spine. It was a tone that would be forever cemented in his mind, a reminder of his own torment.
“If you get ANY inclination the bat or any of his costumed freaks are in the building, you tell me immediately”.
“Yes boss”.
The static of the radio crackled before cutting off completely. Jason cursed mentally. This had to be precise. Perfection. He had to disable the henchman’s radio unit. Padding over his jacket he searched for the disrupter shooter he had. It wasn’t there. Fuck. He’d fucked up in his rush and left it behind. Fuck. Bruce was right. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Then he heard it. A soft ping from above him. He knew that sound. Jason looked up from the grate and spotted Nightwing hidden in the shadows with his own disrupter. Pointed directly at the goon’s radio system.
“Thought you might need a hand”, Dick patched into Jason’s com line.
Jason growled under his breath, “Thanks”.
“Shall we take this moron out together?”.
“Yes”, Jason muttered before switching his com off and inched closer to the goon.
The second Nightwing flew down from the roof beams, Jason jumped out of the floor grate and kicked out the back of the goons knees. He cursed loudly before Nightwing’s foot landed in his face.
Jason swore he saw a tooth fly out of his mouth along with a glob of blood. He aimed several hard punches to the side of the henchman’s head whilst Nightwing disabled his gun and radio with a graceful poise.
“All this for the girl? She’s nothing but a shell”, the goon smirked across at Jason before choking at the next punch.
“Joker’s hollowed her out...she’s nothing”, he spat out.
His temper flared and his hand subconsciously reached for his pistol. Dick realised and before anything could happen, he landed an electrical ecrisma blow to the goons head, knocking him out cold. His body crashed onto the floor with a loud thump.
“Jason-”.
“Don’t”, Jason cut him off, “I’m fine”.
He took several steps towards the office door and swallowed thickly. You. You’d be in there. You’d told Joker with the last ounce of confidence left that he’d come for you. He’d never leave you. You were right. Jason would never have stopped looking. Ever.
His hand rested on the door handle, trembling only slightly. What if he was too late. What if this was just another trick?
Drawing his hand back almost as though the door had burnt him. He frowned. He couldn’t think like this. No. He had to be strong. Just like you had been in all those videos. You’d been fierce. Your spirit still pouring through to him.
Jason glared angrily at the door and took a step back before kicking it open furiously with his combat boot. The door flew open wildly and as the dust settled. He saw Joker stood in the middle of the room, a sick, satisfied smirk sat proudly on his demented face.
~~~
“Jason my boy! It’s a pleasure to see you again”, his chuckle was deep and sinister, “I see you're still hiding your face though...is that because of what I did?”. The Joker’s eyes danced with delirious joy at the memories.
“I’d have thought you’d have embraced all your scars by now Jason...”, The Joker edged forward leaving you tied up behind him.
Jason rounded The Joker, clicking a button to the side of his mask, revealing his face, his eyes hidden with the domino mask, “I’ve got nothing to hide from you, clown”.
Jason let his eyes run over you for a second. You were bruised and bloodied. Clothes torn and tattered from mistreatment. Your eyes. God. Your beautiful E/C eyes. Red raw from countless tears. Somehow you still managed to give him a smile from behind The Joker. His heart fluttered. God he’d missed your smile.
Tearing his eyes from you he looked back towards The Joker and held his pistols out at him, finger hovering over the trigger. Jason felt the burn mark on his cheek stinging all over again. Pain ever present.
“You don’t have the guts”, The Joker laughed again and walked forward pressing his forehead into the barrel of the gun.
“You wouldn’t dare pull that trigger. I’m your Ace card Jason. You can’t kill me. You want to but you can’t...something will always stop you”.
Jason felt his hand shaking slightly. Everything was throbbing in his mind.
“Even after everything I’ve done to your girl, you still can’t pull that trigger”, The Joker taunted further and grinned sadistically.
“If only you knew where I’d touched...what I’ve done...”, he pushed further into the cold metal of the gun and winked at Jason, “Go on, do it, I dare you...if you don’t- I’m just going to keep coming back and who knows what I’ll do to our little princess next-”.
BANG.
A gun shot blasted through the air. Smoke drifted slowly from the barrel, dancing into the darkness around them.
“JASON!”.
Nightwing had thrown one of his ecrisma sticks to Jason’s gun, knocking it off target. The bullet shattered the brickwork behind them, dust erupting.
Crashing down through one of the broken windows on top of the office roof, Nightwing flew towards The Joker tackling him down onto the damp, concrete floor before he could launch himself at Jason.
Still startled, Jason watched Dick wrestling with The Joker on the floor, punches flying back and forth.
Dick turned to Jason, “Y/N-Jason!! Go get Y/N!! I’ll handle this!”.
The Joker was shrieking with laughter underneath Dick, blood pouring down his lip and from his nose.
“Ahhhh another boy blunder!! I must be lucky!! Two for the price of one!”.
Dick threw another punch and reached for the second ecrisma stick on his back, “I can’t wait to cart you back to the Asylum. I hope you’re looking forward to your 5 star stay in a windowless cesspit!”.
Jason could hear Joker continually laughing at Dick, until the sharp sound of electrical buzzing cut him off with a loud scream.
He almost fell over his own feet as he raced towards you. Jason quickly untied your hands and the second they were free you flung them around his neck, sobbing into his neck. Your tears dropping onto his brown leather jacket.
“Oh baby”, Jason stroked your hair and held you tightly to him. He was worried he was crushing you but you seemed to be squeezing him back just as hard.
You didn’t stop sobbing. The overwhelming emotion of being wrapped in his safe, strong arms make your knees buckle. Jason caught you with ease and lifted you up, “It’s ok baby, I’ve got you. I’ve always got you”.
Jason was one step away from breaking down himself but he needed to be strong for you right now.
You pressed your skin against his, the scratch of his stubble a welcome sting against your cheek. His scent overwhelmed you. Leather. Gunpowder. Smoke. And something distinct you’d never been able to place.
“Jason”.
“Shhh, it’s ok - nothing is going to hurt you, I’m here now - I’m a bit late but I’m here”.
~~~
It had been one week since you’d been back home. Two weeks if you counted the first week you and Jason spent holed up in the manor. Bruce had insisted. You sat in the bathtub, knees pressed up against your bare chest. Silence. All you could hear was the faint crackle of the bubbles every now and again. The clinical white tiles of the bathroom made you feel a little cleaner.
However,  no matter how many baths you took, showers you stood in, you still couldn’t wipe the feel of the slick purple gloves off your skin. Your skin. Skin that was now marred with yellowish bruising. Almost faded physically but not mentally. Looking over the marks you felt yourself transported back into the desolate warehouse. The dank smell of stagnant water filling your nostrils. You choked and coughed loudly, suddenly feeling the oxygen clam up your throat. Drowning in the memories.
“Y/N??”.
Within a mere second Jason had flung open the bathroom door, red tinting his cheek and a little sweat on his forehead, “Sweetheart are you ok?”.
You noted how he chose to call you sweetheart now and not his usual princess. A stark reminder that this whole ordeal had affected him too, more than he’d admitted. You felt the guilt eat away at you. Shame burning at your feet.
“Y-yeah, I’m ok”, you mumbled quietly and swirled some of the water and bubbles around you, “I just accidentally swallowed some of the bath water, I’m sorry”.
Jason nodded although not quite believing you. He closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of the tub taking a deep breath, “It’s ok to not be ok sweetheart...I know it can be difficult to admit that...I know that more than most”, he wiped a stray bubble from the rim of the tub. He looked at you deeply before continuing, “I’ll be here for you...whenever and whatever you need”.
You sat silently in the water and he moved to get up. Maybe he thought it was best to leave you alone, let you uncover your own emotions. Process what had happened. You gripped his wrist and looked up into the crystal blue of his eyes, “Jason”.
“Yeah babe?”, he turned his wrist in your hand and linked his fingers with yours.
“I love you”.
He smiled and squeezed your hand before whispering back, “I love you too, more than you know”.
He looked over you and moved to sit back on the edge of the bath. His spare hand reached out and cupped your chin lovingly, stroking over your skin.
“We’ll work through this together Y/N, I promise”, Jason murmured and leaned forward kissing your forehead lightly, “I’ll do whatever you need me to do...anything at all”.
The words, the touches, the kiss. It made your heart flutter and you fell even more in love with him. Jason made the impossible possible and you had no idea how he managed it every day. You felt so lucky.
“I - I struggle some d-days”, you admitted and with those words you felt a little lighter, “sometimes all I want is for you to hold me and not let me go...Sometimes I-I f-feel like that for hours...”.
“Well then I’ll hold you for hours”, he said simply.
You scoffed lightly but before you could protest or think of arguing back he was stepping into the bath water fully clothed.
“Jay!! You’re going to flood the bathroom”, you gasped loudly, watching the water splash over the sides like dramatic tidal waves. Water dispersed all over the bathroom floor to make way for his broad frame, “What are you doing?!”.
Jason sunk down into the water behind you and wrapped his arms either side, pulling you back into his clothed chest. He rested his head on your shoulder, pressing a chaste kiss there, “Holding you for as long as you need me to”.
You felt yourself melt into his warm embrace. Tears made their way down your cheeks at his endearing show of love, “Jason”.
“Shhh, just let me hold you baby”, he cuddled you tighter into him, his fingers stroking your hips under the water, brushing away the bruises. Marking you with his own special touch.
Relaxing under his soft caresses, you hummed lightly and closed your eyes resting your head back against him. He smelt like leather and spice. You felt at home. He was home.
“Jay”.
“Mmm?”.
“Please call me princess”, you whispered quietly into the air, your eyes still closed.
“Whatever you want...princess”.
~~~
Special Thanks: @offendedfishnoises​​ @internalsealpanic​​ @batarella​​ - thank you both for proof reading this and all the help you have given me - mwah mwah. xoxo
Tag List: @offendedfishnoises @internalsealpanic @batarella @batarella-mini @lucy-roo @illzarr @pricetagofficial @jadedhillon @vvipgot7be @clementinesandstars @thedeadlythoughts @fantasticwizardnerd​ @power-of-words23​ @vintagexparker​  @borntobewondering​ @l-inkage​ @fourteengemstones​ @ficrecsideblog​ @insane-without-delirium​ @so-now-what-huh​ @imjeralee​ @geekonaleash​ @dairydragon84​ @dragonchildyuki​ @ediwdac​ @fxrchxldws​ @hyperfixationsandhecticness​ @chelinn​ @maniacproffesor​ @8ether​ @the-abyss-of-fandoms​ @babymango-writes​ @indigowcrds​ @catxsnow​ @lostoctaviaaugusta​ @empower-bi-women​ @jd-loves-everyone​ @xatanna-troy​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @a-sketchy-jedi​ @ramdomtails​ @ximaginx​ @little-miss-naill​ @spideypoolfeelz​ @queenbelena​ @rosalietodd013​ @multifandomgirl-us​ @multitudinous-writes​ @mariechen1397​ @brennenscolby​ @batgalsblog​ @bamboozledjt​ @crappy-unicorn​ @batmom69 @adazzlingsakura​ @weirdgirlfromtx​ @anousiemay​ @iamsofuckinglostsblog​ @pinklipsnotips​ @celestialgalaxies​ @galvysta​ @novelisticmess​ @onfir3​ @this-hufflepuff​ @secretlovexo​ @naeratargaryen​ @eyelessjackswife​ @maplumebleue-blog-blog​ @futuristicallysweetstarfish​ @dianduh11​ @beccis18​ @kaylossol​ @alex-ehhh​ @hambuurgerz​ @mando-e​ @laguana-doofinsmirtz​ - Drop me a message if you want to be added to my tag list. xoxo
~~~
416 notes · View notes
luimagines · 4 years ago
Note
RQ: He’s upset and needs comforting
Masterlist
Ya'll want angst? Because I have some angst.
Very hurt/comfort
Set platonically and within the group since there was no specification. Hope that’s ok! Sorry it took awhile, it got away from me again. I think this may be a trend.
Scenario under the cut! It’s super long so take caution!
Sky
It took a while for you to notice but eventually you do.
Sky has been acting weird all day.
It was only clipped responses at first, then it was was the lack of attention where Sky would have been the first to comment or act otherwise. What really tipped you off finally was how he seemed to be evading the whole group. Not necessarily stepping away and out of sight but he didn’t interact with anyone and when they approached him, he didn’t make eye contact, seemingly trying to cut the conversation short.
No one has said anything. 
You mention it to Twilight about his out of character behavior but he says that it maybe a bad day, or he slept wrong, or some other reason that you stopped listening to because it didn’t make any sense.
Sky was always trying to be friendly no matter his mood and it took a lot to shake him up.
What was eating at the Chosen Hero?
Soon, the uncertainty begins to eat at you too and you wait for night fall, once everyone is asleep to strike.
Strike up a conversation that is.
Sky usually takes the last watch because he’s usually the first one out regardless of what activities for the day so you strive to wake up early.
It works for the most part, your internal clock doing what you want it to do when you blink your eyes open. Part of you begins to drift off again so you sit up and nearly fall asleep that way.
A hand comes up on your back and rubs a small circle. “Nightmare?”
It’s Sky and he’s looking at you with mild concern.
You smile and shake your head. “No. I’m alright but I think I’ll stay up with you if you don’t mind.”
“I wouldn’t mind the company.” He moves out of your space and back to where he sat.
You follow, still groggy from just waking from your slumber but succeed in not stepping on any of your friends or waking them up as well with the added noise. you sit next to the Hero of the Skies with little fan fare and let the moment settle on the both of you before looking skyward.
“Can I ask you something?” You don’t look at Sky and continue star gazing even if they’re a little harder to spot as the sun travels closer for it’s shift.
Sky hums in agreement and follows your gaze upwards.
“Are you ok? You seemed a little off lately.”
Sky doesn’t say anything for the first few seconds and you suspect that maybe he didn’t hear you. With him spacing out so much and the fact that you whispered for the sake of your still sleeping friends, you’re inclined to repeat yourself but Sky answers in time.
“Just thinking a lot, I suppose. Nothing serious.”
“Yeah?” You don’t look his way. This is casual. This is friendly. This is not a big deal. “Rupee for your thoughts?”
“It’s not that interesting.”
You shrug. “Hit me with it anyway. It’s got to be something if it’s throwing you off your rocker. Maybe a new perspective will help clear some of it up?”
Sky frowns at your attempts, once again retreating into his mind. You let the offer hang in the air and let it sink in.
You’re disinclined to bring it up anymore. Your brain is still tired and you’re wondering your effectiveness when half of your thoughts are still muddled with sleep and fatigue. You could have totally slept in some more. What on earth made you think this was a good idea?
“Time mentioned something earlier that I can’t seem to let go of.” Sky begins.
You hum back and let him keep talking.
“I never fought this Ganon guy they all so talk so much about. I fought the God Demise. Before I could land the final blow, he cast a curse on me, on us, that some cycle would continue. His hatred would last forever and my blood line and Zelda’s will be cursed to deal with constant darkness caused by him.” Sky admits, looking now at his intertwined hands. “I finished him soon after that but... I wonder... Am I the cause-... Is this all my fault? Am I the reason that we’re all here right now? That everyone has gone through so much? So many thing happened that should have never occurred. Time and Legend and Wild have all suffered so much.... more than I can possibly ever imagine and it seems like it’s never ending. Everyone starts they’re adventures so young... If I had killed him sooner... If I had just got it over with... If I had just shut him up-”
“Hey.” Your hand lands on his shoulder, cutting off his tirade.  “None of this is anyone’s fault. The only people to blame are Ganon and now, this Demise guy. You did what you could. You still got the job done and no one here will ever blame you for what has happened to them or to Hyrule. You were young too... you’re still young. Give yourself a little kindness and understanding, just as you do with everyone here. You didn’t deserve it either. It’s not like you asked to fight a God.”
“Well...”
“Sky you know what I mean.”
“I should have been faster. If-”
“There’s no use in worrying about what if’s.” You shove him slightly. “This is our life. Even if you ask, no one is capable of giving you the answers. I get it. It’s hard to know if the path you took is the right one if it’s all you’ve ever known and you can’t see where the other would have lead... But... Even if horrible things happen, I’m still glad to have met you. I’m glad I met the others. I’m happy to be here with you and with them, and I’m glad that it’s not just me anymore.”
You let the words sink in before leaning down wards and trying to get him to look you in the eye. “I can’t answer your questions. But what happened, happened and the best thing we can do is learn how to play with the cards we’re dealt.”
He take a deep breath and  finally looks in your direction. “I know you’re right.” 
“Naturally.”
“But I can’t help but feel responsible for being-”
“But you’re not responsible for their pain or any of this Sky. If Ganon has anything to do with Demise then it’s all Demise’ fault. His and his only. Understand?” You stress. “I wish... I wish I could do something more to help.”
Sky places his hand over yours where you still have it on his shoulder and sends you a small smile. “I know. Me too.”
Wild
“Zelda, would you please drop it!” You hear the Champion yell, his voice carrying over the wind and somehow getting louder. “We’ve had this conversation before and it’s not the time to have it again. I have things to do excuse me.”
Wild storms into his house and shuts the door behind, blocking it with all his weight and waits for the indignant shrieking on the other side to go away. The voice ends with a frustrated huff and after a moment of silence, Wild relaxes and steps away from the door and further into the house.
You’re almost scared for the moment. You’ve not known Wild to yell, even less so for a Link to be on bad terms with Zelda no matter the universe. To make matters worse, you were the only that was actually within the house at the moment and you weren’t entirely sure how to proceed from here.
“Trouble in paradise?”
That probably wasn’t the way to go, if you were being honest with yourself.
Wild groans, loud and exaggerated and sits at the table in front of you with as much fan fair.
“Do not...call it that.” He sounds tired.
“Sorry.” You amend with an apologetic shrug. “That-” You reference to the scene outside. “-Didn’t sound ideal.”
“No. It’s not.” Wild sighs and places his face in his hands with his elbows on the table. Bad table manners, a small voice in your head pipes up. But it’s his house, so you bite your tongue.
“Can I ask what it was about?” You hesitatingly venture.
Wild takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. “I wanted to live a simple life.” He starts. “Everything was over now, right? That was the idea I had. Defeat the evil and get to finally live as a normal man. Maybe explore more of my home and show Zelda all the cool things I’ve seen and done. Everything I knew, everything I remembered is gone and has been gone for a while. No one alive misses it. No one alive even knows about it. This is the world they were born into and they wouldn’t have it any other way. I was prepared to accept that and join them.”
Your face twists in sympathy as you nod along. “I take it that’s the issue here.”
“When I defeated Calamity Ganon and reunited with Zelda, she seemed so full of hope and purpose.” Wild continues. “I saw it in her eyes. She wanted a different thing to what I wanted.”
“And what’s that?”
Wild gives you a pained look. “Zelda wants to try and rebuild the kingdom. Make it into what she remembers it to be. She wants to strengthen relationships with the other nations and reestablish the royal family and a whole lot of other things that I cannot begin to think of how long it would both take and last considering all the damage that already been done. She wants to be Queen. And over what? Hyrule Kingdom is no more. Can’t be a Queen without a kingdom to rule and there’s not a lot of Hylians left that would agree to being ruled over or even enough of them to count as a kingdom to begin with.”
“I suppose it’s not a bad goal to have but you do make a point.” You try and add to the conversation, feeling wildly out of your depth. “Does she know that you-”
“Yes. And she thinks I’m crazy for it. She thinks that I’ve given up on my friends and the past and the future and- uugghhh.” Wild leaned forward and slams his head on the table with enough force to make you jump.
“That look like it hurt.”
“I’ve had worse.”
“I believe you.” A small smile covers your face.
A beat passes before Wild continues to talk with his head still on top of the table. “I don’t think she realizes that I’ve changed after everything. Maybe if I had my memories to begin with, or maybe if I had managed to defeat Calamity Ganon sooner, I’d be more inclined to agree with her, but I’ve experienced so much and done so much that I don’t want to go back to how things were. I’m a different man now.” Wild looks up at you. “She’s different too but I don’t think she’s ready for that conversation.” 
“So you’re stuck with this one?”
“Yes.”
“That sucks man.” You shift in your seat. “Anything I can do to help?”
“Not if you can change the past.” He pouts.
“Shame. I’m fresh out of past changing wishing powder.”
“That’s not a thing.” He pouts even more.
You chuckle at the display before sobering up ever so slightly. “Do you want me to talk to her?”
“What good will that do?”
“Maybe a third person party has to step in. It could be that it’s because you’re the one who saying that she isn’t listening.” You shrug. “I think you’re right but I’m willing to give her chance to tell her side of the story while you cool down in here. I can be a distraction so you can sneak out quietly and she won’t know you’re here anymore! It’s a win win! And maybe you guys can come to an agreement when you both see each other again with new perspectives.”
Wild gives you another tired look and leans into his hand. “I doubt it would work. Zelda is incredibly stubborn, one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. But if you think it would help, I won’t stop you. I’ve run out of arguments and I’m done hearing hers.”
“Ok.” You say getting up and moving around the table. “I think it’s worth a shot. There’s a saying where I’m from that goes, ‘it’ll all be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, then it’s not the end.’”
You give Wild a hug around his shoulder and squeeze him tight. “I have faith that you’ll pull through and get to live peacefully, but until then, you’ve got us on your side ok?”
He leans in your direction and wraps his arms around your own. “I know. I figured as much.”
“Good man.”
“I’m definitely sneaking out of here though.”
“That’s fair. Go hide.”
“I will... And thanks for listening to me. I didn’t mean to go off like that.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
Four
"I'm sorry, what?" Four snaps his head up to stare at the Champion.
"What?" Wild tilts his head. "What? There's no stuff in the grass in my Hyrule. Just crickets and lizards...you know normal stuff. I don't know why there's tools and rupees in all of yours."
"You don't-" Four cut himself off with a click of his teeth, a piece in his mind clicking into place. He stands suddenly, clearly upset and tense as he processes the information.
"Four?" You call out to him but he doesn't respond to you, nor does he look back.
"Four!" Hyrule calls as well. "Where are you going?"
No reply.
"I'll go with him. Just in case." You stand up in a rush and nearly knock over the equipment at your feet in the process. "Don't wait up for us."
You follow him.
Four is fast and quiet and it takes very little time to lose him- or rather, for him to lose you.
Before you knew it, there's no trace of him and there's nothing within the forest that would give you a hint to his whereabouts.
"Great." You hiss and look around.
Nothing.
"Four!" If he won't show himself, you'll just have to make some noise. "Four! Four! Show me a sign so I know you're not dead!"
You wait.
"Don't make me get Wolfie!"
Nothing.
"Four!" You scream a little louder and begin to run. Now that you've said it out loud, despite being a joke in the beginning, the thought of Four being dead somewhere spikes your panic and anxiety and it fuels your quest.
It's only been a few minutes and Four can handle himself just fine but you don't think about that.
"FOUR!"
"Why are you screaming?" A voice come just beyond you.
You sprint toward it and find Four in a small clearing, crouched down and appearing to hold something in the palm of his hand.
"I was calling you." You don't know how you find it in you scold him. "A response would have been nice."
"Sorry." He shrugs. "I was having a conversation, it would be rude to drop it."
You get on your tip toes to look around him and find nothing. "With... With what?"
Four looks down into his hand and places it, ever so gently, on the ground, pausing and standing up to see you. "You can't see them?"
"See who?" You step over to him. "Four? Are you ok?"
His face twists in annoyance before sighing. "I'm fine."
"No offence, but I doubt that."
"It... a group of creatures that can only be seen by good children. They were important on my quests and have helped me greatly. Children usually stop seeing them around the time when they turn sixteen."
"Would it be easy for me to chalk it all up to magic?" You bit your lip.
"Probably. If it'll help you sleep at night." Four sighs and looks down to the ground, a small smile on his lips before it twists into a painfully and... he looks seconds from crying.
"I did so much to help them... and they helped me.... They leave gifts in the grass to help travelers and us heroes alike and yet... Wild says it doesn't happen anymore..." Four gulps and looks away from you and what ever is by his foot. "They wouldn't stop.... They're incredibly kind and hospitable and... There's no reason for them... Why are they gone?"
"Four." You reach out and place a hand on his shoulder.
"What happens to them?" His Adam's apple bobs a bit as he sucks in a breath. "It just means there was no one to help them."
"Oh Four." You pull him into a hug and nearly crush him with it.
"There's nothing I can do to help them, is there?" He sniffles into your chest.
"No, I... I don't think so Four. Not that far out into the future." You shake your head and begin to rub circles on his back.
You don't think he's crying but he might be fighting it because he does begin shaking.
He doesn't say anything else and you're loath to let him go when he's so emotionally charged. So you hold him. You hold him for as long as he needs and you wait for him to pull away first.
When he does, you keep your hands on his shoulders and he stays within your reach. Four begins to take deep calming breaths with his eyes closed and you instinctually run your hands through his bangs and push some of the loose hairs from his face.
Minutes continue to pass and the sounds of nature around you fill the void.
"I'm sorry." You say. "I wish I could help you but I don't know how."
Four nods and rubs his eyes. "I don't doubt that. Thank you. I'll be ok."
You don't think he's ready to go back to the group just yet, not after all that. "Tell me more about these friends of yours. How did they help you? How did you help them? What are they exactly?"
It earns you a small laugh and he grins up at you with a watery smile. "Sit down. And let me tell you about the Picori."
Twilight
“You almost died and for what?!” Twilight screams at Wild for the umpteenth time.
It startles you to hear his voice reach such volumes but you’re inclined to agree with him this time around. After Wild’s stunt with taking a hit to the head for Wind, you’d been on the look out for his more... self sacrificing behavior. You knew he wouldn’t think twice to do it and you tried to make it so there wouldn’t even be a chance for him to make such a decision.
This time though, in this last fight, you took your eyes off of him for only a moment and that’s when he broke his streak of uneventful fights. 
Twilight, of course, is livid and has no regard for the poor creatures of the forest that have to endure his tirade as he unleashes his concern and worry in the form of rage and over exaggerated gestures.
When Hyrule finishes healing your more minor wounds, you slink away from the soon to be screaming match since Wild is very much still conscious, if a little roughed up. You don’t intended to stray as far as you go but you don’t find it in yourself to care for the time being.
Being around so many people for so long is taxing. You make the executive decision to remove yourself for the time being while tensions are high, to both cool off and to avoid getting hit in the crossfire.
There’s a small creek nearby, you find, and decide to make a small space for yourself there until dinner comes rolling around. The birds and the babbling waters calm your soul and snuffle out the last of the adrenaline. You don’t know how long you sit there, but you can faintly hear the screaming match in the distance that you dipped out of.
You don’t regret it.
More time passes and you find that you may or may not have taken a small nap in the meantime. If the position of the sun is anything to go by.
Despite the pain in your back from sleeping against a tree, the slight ache in your neck from the angle you slept in, you feel better. Clearer, even.
You hope your absence wasn’t entirely noticed but you can’t seem to regret leaving either.
Footsteps creep closer to you and you huddle into a small ball out of habit to avoid detection.
It’s Twilight.
He walks near the creek and takes a heavy seat next to it. He looks both pale or red faced at the same time but exhaustion is laced in his entire body from what you can tell.
He doesn’t notice you.
You uncurl and set your legs out in front of you. Leaning forward a little, as quietly as you can, you see that he’s upset. It doesn’t surprise you. But seeing as you don’t how to deal with an upset Twilight and you can’t really sneak away without crossing his line of sight or making any miniscule noise, you still yourself and wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Twilight calls your name. Quietly and hollow- like he’s not all there. Or in the way one would talk to a memory.
It’s immediately unsettling. Both in how he sounds and how he knew you were there without you doing anything. But you suppose Twilight can just sense things like that from times to time. It’s certainly not the first time he’s done it.
“I’m here.” You reply.
“How long?”
“A few hours I think. Longer than you were here that’s for sure.” You shrug and slowly crawl out of your hidey hole. “I think I fell asleep....The sun wasn’t over there when I first got here.”
Twilights hums in what you think is agreement but it’s really only a sound. “It’s a nice spot.”
You smile. It’s tense and little fake, but he’s not looking at you so you don’t care for authenticity. “Good thing it’s big enough for the both of us huh?”
“Yeah.” He looked into the distance again, noting that the sun is beginning to set and takes a deep breath. “Do you ever feel a strange sadness as dusk falls?”
“Can’t say that I have.” You move closer to him, aiming to sit by his side. “I’ve always enjoyed sun sets and I find them calming to watch but hearing someone finding them sad is a new one. Do you feel sad as dusk falls?”
He hums again. “They say it’s the only time their world interacts with ours.”
“Whos?”
“Lingering spirits I suppose...” Twilight tilts his head upwards before twisting it to look at you. “It’s nothing. I’m just reminiscing about my life before my adventure is all. My... father told me those words and I haven’t forgotten them since.”
You hum this time and lean back to mirror him. “Wanna tell me why?”
“That Champion reminds me so much of myself and yet... he’s ten times worse.” Twilight falls backwards with a soft thump. “I know why he does it but I...”
“You care about him and don’t want to see him hurt.” You shrug. “It’s not exactly a new concept.”
“Tell that to him.”
“Maybe I will. He gets just as upset as you do when this happens, you know.” You shift your weight to make it easier to stand up later.
“Does he? You’d think that he’d get the point to stop doing then.” He growls.
“Maybe he’s scared of losing more friends.” You blurt before you can stop yourself. That was something Wild told you in confidence and while he didn’t say you couldn’t tell anyone- that was kinda implied.
Twilight stills for a moment, the fight leaving him again in a single breath as he considers your words. They don’t seem to be new news to him.
Wild is pretty close to Twilight...Maybe he already knew.
“I still think I’m entitled to not like it.” He settles.
“It’s not he’s asking you to be ok with it. I know I’m not.” 
“I guess that’s fair then.” Twilight sits up again and stands up in one fluid motion that you envy. With a turn on his heel, he holds his hand out to you to take.
You take it and feel him effortlessly lift you off of the ground with that one hand.
You don’t comment on it.
“Come on.” He says. “I’m going to need you for moral support.”
“Why?”
“If I yelled in front of him of the whole group, I should apologize to him in front of the whole group.” He admits and wraps his arm around your shoulders. “But I might need an excuse to get close to him again after all the things I’ve said.”
“I get your desert and you’ve got yourself a deal. I left to not get involved and here you are... involving me.” You tease. “I demand payment.”
“One desert? I can do that.”
Hyrule
“I can’t do this.” You snap your head to the sound of the voice and see Hyrule with his arms cross and shaking.
“What? What’s happening? Hyrule?” You step closer to him as you’re the only one within arms reach. “What do I need to do? How can I help?”
“There’s nothing. Nothing you can do, that can make this better.” Hyrule takes one ground step before throwing his arms down. “Don’t you see them? With all their tools and experience and then there’s- me. Just me. Some magic later and a old man with a sword and I found myself trying to save my princess and defeat some evil, but these guys...”
You look around, trying to see if Legend or Sky are close enough to give you back up, or better yet, take over. You suppose it’s better than a panic attack but it’s so left field that you’re stunned and floundering to catch this hot potato of a conversation.
He keep talking.
“For all that is good and holy, they are heroes. Do you see them? Some of them have training, and families and skills and I....was just a boy in a grave yard. How can I even compete with them? I don’t, that’s how. But how can they consider me an equal? When I was in town and listened to the elders and their stories, they would tell me of a legendary hero from the past who courageously defended our home until the very end and who was virtually undefeated in all his adventures. And then I meet Legend....and he’s so much cooler than all those stories combined.”
“Link.” You call out to him and back to the real world. “You need to slow down for me honey because you’re too fast for me to keep up. What do you mean how can they see you as an equal? You defeated Ganon just as they did. You stood up for your home just as they did. You did it all on your own just as they did. Why wouldn’t they consider you an equal? No one cares about where you’re from, if that’s what you’re concerned about.”
“But they can do so many things even without the sword!” He exclaims. “They all have a place to go to, a person who cares about them, a title or a skill and a world that’s not on the brink of collapse-”
“Ok, whoa, hey.” You step into his space and take his face into your hands, bringing it up for him to look you in the eyes.
“I have no idea what brought this up but I won’t stand for anyone talking bad about you. And that includes you. We... can talk about your home with clearer heads later, ok? Maybe the others can help with that when we get there, yeah? And well....” You’re sinking. You don’t know what to do with all this information and you have even less of an idea about how to address it.
“Good golly, when it rains, it pours with you lot, doesn’t it?” You hiss under your breath and bite the bullet. With a strong grip, you wrap your arms around the Traveler and pull him close. You try to keep your grip strong without fear of hurting him, but it hits you then how thin he is. How light he actually is. You can feel the hint of armor under his tunic and it does little to quell your fears.
“Clearly there’s a lot on your mind. And... I’m probably not the person to help you through this. If you want to talk about not belonging though, I’m free to listen. I’m the only one here who’s not a Link, if you haven’t noticed.” You try to joke but it falls a little flat. “You though... You belong here with all of us... all of them... And if you need more convincing then I’m bringing this up with Legend who’s is over the moon proud of you and what you can do and he told me himself that he couldn’t be happier to have you as his successor-”
“Really?”
“Not in those exact words admittedly,-” You gulp as the word vomit continues to bubble out of you in waves of panic. “-but I know that’s what he meant because he doesn’t stop talking about how cool you are.”
“Hm.”
“And everyone has a different background, ok? Everyone has skills and people that the others don’t have. That’s ok. It’s not a competition. I get worried that one day you guys are going to create some game out of all your trauma. Like... who had it worse and just go around in a circle listing off all the things that happened to each of you... Whoever runs out of things to say or can’t think of something as bad or worse than the others is out. Last man standing wins.”
“Don’t give them ideas.” You feel him chuckle. It’s breathless and small and it doesn’t reach your ears despite your closeness but you feel it.
“Good thing it’s just you and me right now.” You sigh a little in relief and loosen the hug. “Look, just.....whatever you think you can’t do, just know that there is someone who is confidently doing it wrong right now. In the group or not, just keep your eyes and watch. They don’t plan on doing it better either and people are celebrating them for it. Please believe in your own excellence as much as they believe in their mediocrity.”
“Big words.”
“You’re awesome for trying. Others are not and don’t plan to. You’re already better than them.” You amend, stepping away to look him in the eye again. “The group can’t do magic like you can. That’s all you. They all have items sure but no one can do what you do... and you’re self taught, right? That’s incredible! You have just as much as a reason to be here as the others. I swear it.”
Hyrule sighs and gulps. He doesn’t believe you. It’s not enough.
You knew it wouldn’t be and it’s definitely doesn’t scratch the tip of the iceberg of the bomb he just dropped on you but... step by step. Little by little. you have a plan.
“Screw it. Let’s catch up with Wind and Warrior and get them to tell you how awesome you are, since you won’t listen to me. And if you’re still a nonbeliever then we move on to the next pair. We’ll go down the line if we have to.” You nod and grab his hand, beginning to drag him along.
He laughs after you, a little hysterical and in disbelief. “You’re crazy.”
“That is not new information.” You reply, hiding your grin. “I say it’s Hyrule loving hours and I’m gonna get everyone to join.”
“You’re not joking are you.” It’s a statement. He already knows the answer.
“Nope!”
Legend
It was your turn on watch for the night. In an hour or two you were supposed to wake the Veteran for his shift and finally catch some sleep.
The others snored and slept away without a care in the world. It was just you and cackling fire that was active but you’d kill for something to help your mind get passed the boredom.
Anything but monsters or an attack that is. You’d hate to jinx your good luck so far.
In the corner of your eye, while fighting to keep your head up, you see Legend shift. Not necessarily unusual. You’re inclined to ignore it.
But then he shifts again, whimpering like he’s been hurt and a white knuckled grip on the blanket.
You still and begin to wonder what’s your level of care here.
Part of you, in kindness, wants to go wake him. The lack of sleep seems more merciful than letting him suffer a prison of his own making.
But you also don’t know how he’ll react.
You know he’d hate to be seen as weak for whatever normal reason and he’s been inclined to wake up swinging in the right circumstance.
Twilight suffered a broken nose for the whole night because he was disinclined to wake up Hyrule or take a potion.
Not you’d make the same decision and suffer the whole night in the same manner but it certainly fails to sound appealing.
Just as your about to appeal to your better nature and force yourself to go wake him before it gets worse, he shoots up into a sitting position with a strangled scream. The job seems to have been done for you- but in the worse way.
He’s breathing hard with his hand gripping his chest. Legend begins to frantically look around and slowly begins to piece together where he is and what’s happened. He never looks behind him, where you are, before running a hand through his hair a little harder than you think reasonable and getting to his feet.
You cough slightly, leaning away from the fire and back into previous position. You hadn’t realized you leaned into his direction as you watched him, inches from putting your face into the flame.
He startles at the sound and whips around, one hand poised to reach the sword he’s not equipped with.
“It’s just me.” You wave. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
He calms somewhat and you can see his jaw flex. “Well, goodnight to you.”
His voice is croaked- from disuse or an overwhelming emotion, you’re not sure.
“For me maybe. But you? That was quite a scare you gave me as well.” You play it off. You can at least pretend that you weren’t watching him. That you would have saved him a little earlier and took your sweet time doing it. You offer a peace offering to your morals. “Want to talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about?” He snaps, furiously rubbing his face. “It’s nothing new. We all deal with it one way or another.”
“True. But it’ll be easier to let it go, and let the experience float up into the air and never return. Otherwise it’ll fester and grow.” You shrug. “But I won’t force you. I know you’re not exactly fond of me.”
Legend glares into the fire as you talk and refuses to look at you. Once you finish though, he moves his head away, still not in your direction but visually drops more tension from his shoulders.
He doesn’t say anything.
“There’s a spot next to me with your name on it if you want it.” You offer. “A little company wouldn’t hurt.”
He takes more time to respond and you resolve to go back to staring at the fire.
A moment or two passes and you hear the faint sound of crunched foliage. It takes of your will power to not look up as he approaches and even more so when he decidedly sits next to you.
The fabric of his tunic brushes your leg for a minute and it strikes you odd that he sat that close despite the rest of the log at his disposal.
It must have been bad if he wants to be close to someone right after. The thought enters your mind. Once it’s there you don’t chase it away and instead casually lean back with your hand behind you.
If the angle causes you to lean closer to him in the process, you don’t say anything. 
And if Legend notices, he doesn’t say anything either.
A moment of time passes in silence, the only sounds through the whole forest are crickets and a passing owl with the occasional whisper through the trees.
“How do you do it?” He asks.
“Do what?” You tilt your head in his direction.
He’s still not looking at you.
“Keep going.”
The answer shocks momentarily but you’re not surprised that it’s coming from him out of the whole group. “Legend-”
“I’m tired.” He says instead. “I hate this. I hate that sword. I hate that pig demon. I hate that I can’t be done.”
You hand comes up to his shoulder and you force him to look at you. 
He lets you and he looks up to you with tears building up in his eyes and for a moment you’re struck by the odd balance of how old he sounds but how young he looks- is.
You stuck floundering for a response to answer him with but he asks one more thing. “Why can’t I be done?”
You pull him into a hug before you can stop yourself. “I don’t know. I don’t know Link.”
You find yourself wanting to cry as well once Legend collapses into the hug. He’s not hugging you back but he’s being held for the first time in... you don’t know how long. Your grip tightens.
“But I do know is that you’re not alone. Not anymore. And maybe....maybe this is the final fight. That’s why we’re all together right? A darkness so evil ahead that every hero is required and then....rest. For each and every one of you.”
You sniffle, carding your fingers through his hair without a moments hesitation. “If it’s not then I’ll fight everything for you from then on. I’ll take your place you hear me. I’ll take your job and title and you won’t have to do this anymore.”
“I’m the Hero of Legend. That’s not exactly an easy thing-”
“No. I am the hero now. I’ve decided it.” You hide the tears in his hair to the best of your ability.
Legend snorted, loud and wet but you elected to ignore it just as you were ignoring the ever growing wet spot on your shoulder. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
“It does now. I said so.”
A beat.
“...Ok.” He sniffled and rubbed his head on your shirt. He took a deep breath and exhaled, letting the night take over the atmosphere again. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t tell anyone.”
He nods once, definitive and final. Your expecting him to let go now and return to his roll, already electing to take over his shift as well and just push through the next day.
Except he doesn’t.
Legend calls your name, testing the waters and lifts his head up ever so slightly. “...It’s not that I’m... not... fond of you-”
“Save it for a rainy day.” You grin. “I think you’ve had your fill of emotions for the night.”
He nods and eventually slips into sleep with his head on your chest, no doubt lulled by your heartbeat.
With tearful eyes, you stare back into the fire.
Time
Time marched from the stunned group the same way a parent does after making a scathing remark instead of a lecture.
You know the one. 
“I’m not mad. Just disappointed.”
The poor boys suddenly didn’t know what to so with themselves or how to get back into Time’s good graces.
You felt for them and their awkward meandering through the camp. So, with your pride swallowed, you follow in the vague direction where Time went off to and decided to at least talk him down.
He is... decidedly harder to find than you previous imagined.
Just as your starting to think the Old Man doesn’t want to be found, you hear subtle swing. It’s to your left and it sounds heavy.
So naturally you follow it
Which leads you to a small clearing just beyond a bunch of bushes.
Time is there, full armor still on and swinging his giant sword forcefully, each swing stronger than the last. It’s as if it weighs only as much as Four. You’ve wondered in the past what it would like if he decided to actually throw the smallest ones of the group but out of fear, do not voice your ideas.
Just because Time won’t doesn’t mean that the others won’t try.
It’s hard being the responsible one when there are nine Links to take care of, each as much as a gremlin as the last. It must be hell on Time’s back to carry the group.
You see where he’s coming from and yet...
“You can stand to be a little more patient with them.” 
The words are out of your mouth before you can actually stop them.
Time stops abruptly, in both the figurative and literal sense, before the man turns to you with that same face of neutral disappointment.
“They are heroes.”
“They are also children, Time. I think that it’s because they are heroes that they deserve to act their age every now and then.”
“Slacking won’t divert the evil away from our home.”
“Running face first into the problem won’t solve it either.” You sigh and walk up the man. He tenses as you approach and slowly lets his weapon down. The Hero of Time is an intimidating creature but you refuse to let that dissuade you.
“Look, I know why you’re upset. I get it. It’s hard to get a job done when you feel like you’re the only one it’s important to... But have a little faith in our group. Please.” You plead and stop right in front of him. You have to look up at him slightly due to the angle but he was forced to acknowledge you here.
His arms cross and he opens his mouth to respond but you cut him off.
“You’re right, they are heroes and there is a job to be done and an evil to be done away with. But they were even younger when they earned the title. They still vanquished the darkness even for their age. You have to trust that they will do the same here.” You reach up and put your hands on his shoulders, getting onto your tip toes to look him in the eye better. “And they will. Because they are heroes. Because they have the spirit of courage. Because they are Link... Just like you.”
He softens his stance ever so slightly but he still doesn’t look pleased.
“It’s not easy I know.” You get down again. “But they look up to you. I think all of them do. And I can’t stand to see how hurt they look when you get upset when they act their age. It’s not like they can help it.”
He takes a deep breath and uncrossed his arms. He takes a minute to respond. Time stared at you intensely before he drops all the tension in his body and finally lets his weapon go. A single hand comes up to pat your head. 
“Let’s head back to camp.”
He says nothing else and continues to walk past you and back the way you came.
You don’t ignore the sense of accomplishment and refuse to dampen it when you catch the tiniest slivers of a smile before he turns away from you completely.
Wind
You’re lying peacefully on the dirt when you hear someone sit beside you with more power than would ever be needed.
You don’t open your eyes for the sake of the other person, not really thinking much of it and even forgetting that they were there until you heard the smallest of sniffles.
Now, you’re sitting straight up with wide and concerned eyes locking directly onto the crying form of your beloved pirate. 
It’s hard not to feel for him and while you’re not sure what sprung this up, you don’t have it in you to turn him away, or to ignore that he was upset.
Neither of you say anything and you’re almost afraid it make the picture in front of you a little too real.
Instead, you move yourself closer to him and open up your arms.
Wind doesn’t hesitate to throw himself onto you and let his body sag with unwanted emotion.
As sobs silently rack his body, you begin to feel yourself rock back and forth for both his comfort and yours. Soon you start running your hands through his hair and rub small circles on his back. 
He cries for a long time and never once gives you a clue why.
You don’t ask either.
Still, once the moment has passed, you continue to hold onto him. He doesn’t make any moves to let go of you any time soon and you’re happy to be there for as long as he’ll let you.
That doesn’t stifle your concern over the cause but you’re loath to bring it up.
Minutes pass with the boy in your arms and it’s only when you shift positions, does he look up at your face. His eyes aren’t as red anymore with the amount of time that’s passes since he’s stopped crying but his face is still a little puffy and his cheeks are both stained in tears and incredibly red.
A small smile creeps onto your face when you look back at him. “Feel better?”
“A little.” He admits and sniffles the last of the tears away, wiping his face with his sleeve. “Thanks.”
“For you? Anytime.”
Warrior
It struck you as odd that it was dinner time the group seemed to be missing someone.
Earlier that day the group had split up to take down some troublesome monsters on the border of some tiny town defenseless town and that was that.
It didn’t seem like big deal nor was it a particularly hard thing to do. The monsters weren’t infected and they didn’t have numbers on their side so your group took care of the pests in a matter of moments.
And yet, when everyone regrouped there was a visible tension.
Some thing had happened on the other side of the fight and no one wanted to fess up, even less so when Time mentioned it.
It worried you.
Now, as it stood the tension was still there but Warrior didn’t want to come out of the wood work.  He had left earlier claiming to need to check up on his appearance and no one had questioned him. No one offered to go with him.
It was always dangerous to go alone.
“Hey, has anyone seen Warrior?” You glance around again, hoping it was just a miscount on your part. “It’s been awhile since he left.”
“He takes his sweet time.” Legend snapped. “And you know how narcissistic he is. He’s probably trying to get every single little hair in the right place and working out every little blemish in his stupid uniform-”
“I’m going to look to him.” You stand, placing your cooling food down by your foot. You don’t know what happened or what caused it but at least an idea begins to form. “It’s been too long regardless. Keep my food warm for me, yeah?”
You don’t wait for a response and walk away into the tree line where you think Warrior might be.
“It’s getting dark. Be careful.” Someone calls from behind you, mouth clearly full of food.
“Yes sir.” You reply.
You march on.
When you’re sure you’re far enough away, you begin to call out to Warrior.
It takes a minute to get any results but you’re starting to worry about your friend. The sun is lowering in the horizon as time goes by and you’re beginning to feel silly and frustrated and-
“I’m here.” A tired voice replies.
“Oh thank goodness.” You cross the distance between you two. “I was really starting to worry.”
Warrior puts on a brave face and a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes greets you when you stop in front of him. His look a little puffy and you think his eyes might be a little red but it easily be the lighting- or lack there of.
“Are you ok?”
“Obviously.”
You doubt him and it must have shown on your face because he immediately begins walking away. “Well look at the time. Crazy how fast the sun goes. Let’s get back to the group and eat. I’m starving-”
You grab his wrist as he pasts you and get a good look at him. “Are you ready to go back to the group? They can wait a little longer if you want them too.”
It irritated you that it’s come to this. How no one went to check on him. How no one offered to go with you. How no one seemed bothered by this. How long that he was alone dealing with something that’s been bothering him. How it took you so long to do something.  
“No. It’s fine.” He says. Lying. It must have really bothered him, usually he’s better than this. “It’s about time to head back anyway.”
“They can wait.” Your grip tightens. “The sun can wait. We’re not obligated to be there. What’s wrong? ...If you want to talk about it that is...” You trail off uselessly. It only occurred to you that near the end that he may not even speak about with you. You weren’t the closest in terms of grouping but you can’t stand the thought of someone hurting alone.
“I’m fin-”
“You look like you were crying.” You cut him off. “If you don’t want to talk about it with me, that’s fine, just say it. But you might need more time before you head back anyway if you actually want them to believe you when you say you’re fine.”
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.
“Warrior?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing.”
“If it bothers you then it’s not nothing.”  You push. “But....fine. I won’t force you to talk to me. I just wanted to see if you were ok... You’re not but it’s better than seeing you bleeding I suppose.” You grit your teeth, annoyed by the lack of results. You did tell him that he didn’t have to talk to you and you don’t hurt him further but part of you wants to fix this. Even if you don’t know what it is, your heart calls for justice at his pain.
But he is unwilling.
“Camp is this way by the way.” You mention, looking at the ground. “You were actually farther away than I thought, so it’s a bit of a walk.”
“I just think it’s easier for people when I’m not around.”
You still and slowly turn to face him. 
He’s looking at the ground as well, unable to say it and look you in the eye. It’s not what you were expecting and you’re not sure how to follow after that.
It’s a rare moment of vulnerability for him- even rarer that he’s showing it to you and you don’t want to squander the show of trust.
“Back home...there was a lot of... attention on me. A lot of blame... for starting the war. Or at least being the cause of it.” He admits, scuffing his shoe against the dirt. A little bit kicks up and sticks to the toe. He does nothing about it. “People listened to what I had to say because I was some destined hero. At first I didn’t think anything of it because I had thought it was one big mistake and sooner or later people were going to see that I was just some soldier not worth the time of day. It happened to be pure luck that Impa got it right when she gave me this uniform. Zelda made me a captain because of it and suddenly I had all of these men I had to give orders to. And if anything failed or if we lost, it would all have fallen on me. The blame, the guilt, the responsibility of the war...and then we found out why Cia was even opening these portals to begin with-”
You hug him.
“Please don’t cry.” You say into his chest. Your throat is tight and it a little hard to breath but you power through. “I’m not good at this. I never have been.”
“I’m not going to cry. It’s not worth crying.”
“I’ll cry for you then.” You admit and hug him tighter. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. It was no ones fault.” Warrior hugs you back and rests his head on top of yours. His voice seems a little tight too and you’re sorry for all the things that he must have gone through. 
You hug him for as long as you deem appropriate before letting your arms go lack and stepping away.
Or... at least you try to.
Warrior suddenly has a grip on you and refuses to let you leave.
“Please... Just stay a little longer.”
You do.
319 notes · View notes
eviltothecore13 · 2 years ago
Text
People really did assume the worst about Wednesday pre-release in some very strange ways that turned out not to be true at all. I remember I was going “where are you even getting that idea from??” and other people were like “no, this terrible thing is definitely going to happen, it’s unavoidable!”, and then...none of it happened.
Things I actually saw people saying pre-release:
“The casting call mentioned wanting someone 18-20 for Wednesday, so this is DEFINITIVE PROOF that the show is going to be full of gratuitous sex scenes for her, why else would they want to cast an adult (no it can’t possibly just be because they want a more experienced adult actor or they don’t want to deal with the extra legal/ethical/etc issues that getting child actors involved can bring, it MUST be about sex! This show is disgusting!” And then there’s no sex in the entire show beyond a couple of mild references in dialogue that aren’t about Wednesday herself, she barely shows much romantic interest in people let alone sexual, her outfits aren’t remotely revealing and the same goes for pretty much every other teenage character on the show.
“Look at Gomez’s smile in the trailer! It looks evil! Only creeps and predators smile like that! [Never mind that Luis Guzman seems to smile like that naturally and I’ve never heard any evidence for him being a bad person.] This one scene in the trailer is proof that Gomez will be the villain of the show and an abusive creep towards Wednesday, how dare Tim Burton make Gomez evil, I hate this!” And then Gomez is, of course, not remotely the villain, and is a good dad who gets some very sweet interactions with Wednesday, just like every other Gomez
“Wednesday calls her parents evil puppet masters in that one clip! This is proof her parents are going to be abusive and the villains of the show!” and then it’s obvious from the very first episode that they want the best for her, because guess what, Wednesday “I’ve decided with zero evidence that they love the baby more than me and that the only answer is to kill him” “Dear Mother and Father, I hate you, Love, Wednesday” Addams had assumed the worst and overreacted.
“Wednesday throws piranhas into a swimming pool! Never mind that it was made clear she didn’t kill anyone and that the guys were bullies who had it coming, this show is clearly going to be making all the Addamses completely unrepentantly horrible evil murderers with no redeeming features because villainising POC!” And then not only is the show very much based around Wednesday standing up to bullies (seriously, who thinks setting piranhas on bullies is evil, anyway?) and bigots, defying corrupt people in authority, caring about people and trying to protect them and save people from the actual villains, and generally is a series that really shows her as a principled (if often harsh and ruthless) person with a strong sense of justice... but I’ve now seen people claiming that the Addamses are OOC for not being homicidal ENOUGH (which I disagree with because I think the show does still establish them as OK with killing people in certain circumstances, and no version except possibly some of the older comics ever just went around deliberately murdering random innocent people for the sake of it, but still). (The show DOES have issues with its depiction of Black characters--but that’s not what people were shouting about pre-release.)
“Gomez’s actor is credited as a guest star, this is proof they’re going to kill him off!” No they didn’t.
Like people really did leap to some wild conclusions with zero evidence and then start complaining about all the things the show was supposedly “obviously” going to do...that it then did not in fact do and I’m not sure why anyone ever expected them to do it.
6 notes · View notes
belamourelysianlimerence · 3 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
Location: Tony Starks Malibu Mansion.
Time: After Tony Survived Endgame.
Happening: You are having night terrors, every single night. Of his death.
*=your pronoun
Your body rises like someone reached inside you, grabbed your heart, and pulled. With it, you scream horrifically. Just as horrible as your dreams were.
Sitting there in bed, screaming your head off. Not aware of where you are or what's going on. You can't see anything. You. Just. Scream.
On the opposite side of you, there's a shift in the bed.
"Honey?"
A purely panicked voice, and the lights are on.
You continue to scream.
He wraps his arms around you and tries to coo you through your terrors.
"It's okay, baby."
"I'm here."
Pulling you into him as close as he can. Wrapping his legs around you to completely envelope you in himself.
He nuzzles his face in your neck while softly swaying you.
"I know, baby. I know."
6 months. This has been happening for 6 months. No amount of doctors appointments, medications, or therapy has cured it or made it any better.
Tears are pouring down your red face.
You cough and choke, your voice beginning to fade from the strain.
"Jarvis, music please."
Your personal comfort song plays at mild volume.
You stop screaming, but you're breathing becomes heavy. Possibly hyperventilating.
He has asked everyone about this, but no one more than Bruce. Bruce became very helpful, very quickly in this situation.
---
Tumblr media
2 months prior:
"I have no idea what to do, my heart is breaking for her*."
Tony sits on the opposite couch in his living room, sighing and placing his head in his hands with frustration.
"I know what PTSD is... I do. Do I believe I have it? No, but I have had similar symptoms. Bruce, the things that are happening to her*, the things she* tells me, the things she* is seeing!"
He was so scared for you.
Bruce remained calm. Sitting in a chair, watching Tony very closely.
"It is very possible she* has PTSD.
I mean, after New York you were never the same, but, that was different."
Tony was staring off into space, but listening.
"Yes, it's very possible."
"Okay, but what do I do about it?"
"Well... nothing really..... but, I think you already know that."
Tony placed his palms on his forehead. Eyes squeezing shut and brows furrowing together.
"God, I don't want her* to think it's a burden. I never opened up to anyone after New York... except Pepper,
But y/n's so open, I don't have to try. However, that leaves room for her* imagination to play with ideas about what I think."
Tony sighs and leans back into the couch.
"Where is she now?"
"Napping. She's* practically bed ridden. She* has no energy anymore."
"Do you talk to her* during these episodes?"
Tumblr media
Bruce asks as he removes his glasses.
"I try."
"Yeah, she* most likely cannot hear you, Tony."
".........she* responds to music.....slightly."
"Really? Outside sources?"
Tony crosses his arms in thought.
"Maybe."
Bruce stands up with a smirk, using his shirt to clean his glasses.
"You know, there was tons of press and news stuff about us after Thanos."
"Yeah, so?"
Bruce places his glasses back on his face.
"Outside sources."
---
Now:
"Jarvis..... give me all press coverage about my survival of Thanos on the television."
[.....TONY LIVES! TONY STARK! MULTI-BILLIONAIRE SURVIVES THE GAUNTLET! THANOS DEFEATED!
Earlier this week, Tony Stark. Iron Man, and the rest of the Avengers saved and survived one of if not the biggest threat to earth the world has ever seen. Bradley is on the scene now with..........]
The light... from the screen. You blink, distracted.
Colors appear, it's not dark anymore.
You take a deep breath. Confused, but calming down.
"Love?"
You turn to see Tony brushing your hair from your sweat covered face.
"I made it." He smirks at you.
Tumblr media
You smirk back before looking back to the screen.
There's another clip of Tony in the hospital. All wrapped up from his injuries.
"Look at that... I'm still sexy while unconscious."
You chuckle and playfully tap his hand.
"How're you feeling?"
"Exhausted." You continue to stare at the screen.
When all the press is over, the tv turns off.
Tony sighs.
"I'm sor-"
"Never."
"What?"
"Sweetheart..."
He turns his head to look at you.
Tumblr media
"...I have PTSD." He swallowed hard.
"I know."
"Yeah, but... I understand now... everything. And I desperately need you to know that I understand what you're going through. Because, I still go through it too."
He wipes tears away from your cheeks.
"Are we gonna do this together?"
"I would endure anything for you."
He smirks and kisses you gently.
"I'm so tired, Tony."
"Do you want to sleep?"
"Yeah, just don't let me go."
"You got it."
Tumblr media
You both laid back down to go to sleep. Music still softly playing and lights still on. So exhausted, you both pass out immediately. Over the next 6 months you continue with night the terrors, but over time you end up being able to sleep whole nights through.
And everytime you wake up, no matter what time it is, or what event is supposed to need an early rise, everytime you wake up.
He's there.
Tumblr media
"Y/n, I just had the strangest dream..."
64 notes · View notes
anxiouspotatorants · 4 years ago
Text
Whoopsy daisy I made a Shadow and Bone random thoughts post:
The costumes in this show are impeccable. I was drooling over all the keftas and the ball gowns in 1.05 and the crow outfits. Hell, even the winter-camo outfits that Mal, Mikhael and Dubrov wore in 1.04 were amazing.
Am I the only one who isn’t surprised by the kruge pronounciation? Because I thought it would sound like how English people say Scandinavian words and I wasn’t wrong.
Coming in to this show as someone who had only read the Six of Crows duology, I expected to at least tolerate Malina based on the trailer clips. I kid you not: less than five minutes into the very first episode they owned my ass. That might be a new record for me.
Seriously the friendship? The pining? The finding home in each other and being able to acknowledge their faults and apologize to each other? Both of them having massive “fight me” energy and protecting each other? Hugs?? Why am I surprised that I ship this?
Some of those scene transitions/flashback edits were so good! Like I know they repeated that meadow scene a lot throughout the season, but the cuts from kid-Mal looking at the rabbit to grown up Mal psyching himself up for the fist fight? Poetic cinema.
The Darkling was horrible and I love it. He wasn’t a carbon copy villain, nor did his complexity redeem him. He was a perfectly complex and understandable monster and I am living for it. I have not been so happy to despise a character in ages and I genuinely bow in gratitude to both the writers and Ben Barnes, because I finally got to enjoy watching a character I did not for one second root for ( #writevillainswellagain)
Look I already loved Jesper in the book but his on-screen translation elevated him from a fave to the fave. I was worried that they would push him into a comedic relief-role, but he got to keep both his heart, his depth, and his humour. Kit Young did an amazing job bringing what was already a great character on page to an even greater character on screen and I once again applaud.
Am I a bit bitter that the casting had some interesting choices for certain roles (aka hiring light skin and mid-size actors for explicitly darker skin and plus-size roles)? Kind of. Do I think there are important discussions worth having about this? Yup. Do I also think that every actor hired for Shadow and Bone did an amazing job and deserve zero hate and massive amounts of love? Also yes.
I had Alexei for one episode and one episode only, and I still miss that poor sucker. This show did a surprisingly good job with making me care about a massive amount of characters considering the screen time they had and the amount of episodes this season had. Good job.
For some reason I expected Inej to be a lot more brooding based on how I perceived her in the books but I love what Amita Suman did with her. Her translation completely recontextualised everything I remember from the books and just brought this truly fresh character to life. Assassin with a conscience indeed.
Also I did love the Kaz we got in this season but I can barely contain myself as I wait for season 2 to be made and for a certain flashback to take place because that moment in the book was visceral and it stayed with me for a long time and I knew before the show announcement that this flashback could become a television moment. 
Speaking of Kaz the crows were so chaotic and messy and I’m here for it. Their interactions with each other and their improvised back-up plans were everything. I somehow didn’t expect the crows to become the comedic relief of the season but it honestly makes so much sense.
A couple episodes in I still didn’t get the Zoya hype (remember I haven’t read the books) but was a massive Genya fan. By the end of the season I was like “oh both of these girls are getting redemption arcs and I am here for it”.
Speaking of redemption I still don’t like Matthias. I’m sorry but I just don’t. I get that he is important to many and that they like his relationship with Nina, but I just don’t have the patience for him and feel like Nina can do better. I still want him to get a redemption... but maybe not through a romance with the grisha woman he repeatedly slutshames, is bigoted towards and chokes at least once (twice if that SoC scene from book 1 happens). That being said this is just how I see him, so feel what ever you feel about him and ship to your heart’s content!
Alina’s journey through this season made complete sense to me. It hurt to see certain things, but they were necessary in my eyes. Seeing her go from this essentially insecure but brave girl to a manipulated pawn to an even stronger and more self reliant girl in spite of everything was amazing. It did feel like a well-written hero’s journey and I’m looking forward to seeing where she goes next.
Apparently a lot of book-readers don’t like Mal (and I am not here to change anyone’s mind about that) but the Mal I saw on the show was amazing. I actually kind of wish we had seen more of who he was outside of his relationship to Alina (f.ex. other flashbacks than the meadow, maybe something about any of his missions while separated from Alina pre-show), but I also loved what we got of him with Alina. We still got to see a guy who was brave, stubborn, flirtatious, a bit judgemental but with a strong sense of humour, and a lot of loyalty (to Alina but also to his friends). I can hardly wait to see what’s next for him.
Milo the goat. Where do I even begin. Not only did we get that Jesper-scene, but their farewell actually became a Chekhov’s gun for Mal in 1.07? Milo is the true hero of the season.
Speaking of 1.07 I loved the tent scene between Alina and the Darkling. She both got to be realistic about her feelings for the Darkling and stand up for herself and for others and call him out. The way I interpret the Darkling, he is the kind of villain who creates a saviour narrative around himself but cares more about power than anything else. He’ll say he’s doing everything to protect his people but is the first to kill the very people he claims to love. And Alina’s tent-speech really hammered that in for me.
I adore Baghra. Is she morally dubious? Yes. Was she incredibly mean to Alina during training to the point where it might have been excessive? Yes. Did she not take any of the Darkling’s bullshit and act as the proper mentor for Alina when the Darkling had said that he was going to train her? Yes. Am I kind of a Baghra stan now? I mean maybe.
The antler-collar was so evil and gross but from a visually narrative stand point it was perfect. 
Also I still have no idea who David is but I want redemption for him too. Honestly I feel like half the supporting cast is gearing up for redemption arcs next season and I am excited for most of them.
Nina’s reaction when she hears Kaz on the boat? Priceless. Actually the whole boat scene from when she goes up on deck again to the cut back to the fold was priceless.
That being said the final scene had me even more ready for season 2.
Jesper kind of gave me messy period-fantasy James Bond? Does that make sense?
And Mal kind of gave me Lois Lane energy? As in he’s the mortal love interest that many assume is the hero/heroine’s weakness but actually functions as their emotional strength and inspiration? Am I reaching here or am I getting somewhere?
Mikhael and Dubrov. What a duo. Absolute madlads.
Also I’d like to see more Nadia if that is possible? Because the few scenes we had of her had me intrigued but then she sort of disappeared? Is she going to be important or was she just more of a temporary supporting character? 
I entered this show a casual Six of Crows fan with mild interest in Kanej and I finished this season a mess. A mess who ships Kanej and Malina and Genya with that David guy even though they had about 30 seconds of screentime together and Zoya with redemption and Jesper with main-character status (hey we’re not getting Wylan until season 2 at least) and kind of those two Ravkan army guys and Nina with anyone else and Matthias with a better redemption storyline and the Darkling with karma! Also, a mess with a whole new set of comfort characters!
142 notes · View notes
sigmaleph · 3 years ago
Text
@serinemolecule asked me for hot takes on this 2006 article on Argentinian food, which I am now reorganising into a proper post for y'all's consumption. you're welcome.
First of all: the titular thesis that you should eat two steaks a day. I am forced to clarify that as 'should's go you should eat zero steaks a day, but this is ethical rather dietary advice and I don't follow it as well as I should, so, y'know. I would engage with this on the level it was stated, but I actually have no opinion on it. Moving on...
Argentine beef really is extraordinary. Almost all of this has to do with how the cows are raised. There are no factory feedlots in Argentina; the animals still eat pampas grass their whole lives, in open pasture, and not the chicken droppings and feathers mixed with corn that pass for animal feed in the United States.
This is, as it happens, completely false. There absolutely is plenty of feedlot beef being eaten in Argentina, and this was also the case back when this article was written. There's grass-fed beef too, and maybe the writer structured their life around only eating those, but the claim that there are no feedlots is just not true.
if you let them make the call, you get a two-inch thick of meat[...]The Argentine steak stands alone, towering three inches over the plate,[...]This gorgeous specimen is called a lomito; it's a standard lunchtime steak, clearly so thin that the Argentines are embarrassed to send it out into the world without a protective wrapping of ham and cheese
I have no idea what their obsession with steak thickness is; meat exists at various levels of thick and thin to suit various tastes. If you like yours thick that's fine but quit the projecting, y'know.
As you might expect, vegetarians will have a somewhat rough time here. For most people in Argentina, a vegetarian is something you eat. One's diet will accordingly lean heavily on pastas, gnocchi, salads, and (for the less squeamish ) fish. Vegans will not survive in Argentina.
This is, unfortunately, true (well, hyperbole, but). Rinna had a rather bad time trying to find vegan food when fae came over for visits. The situation is improving slowly, at least.
The homemade cookies bought in the minimarket downstairs taste of steak. [picture of alfajores de maicena[
Jesus. Find somewhere better to buy your snacks.
It should be no surprise that the land of beef also has excellent milk and butter. The milk comes in plastic bags that would give any American marketing department a heart attack. They proudly advertise "GUARANTEED 100% BRUCELLOSIS AND HOOF-AND-MOUTH FREE". One brand even brags that its bacteria count never exceeds 100,000 per mL, and prints daily statistics to prove it (only 82,000 bacteria/mL on Monday! mmm!).
Are you under the impression American milk doesn't contain bacteria and that when it spoils it's because of the molecules' sheer willpower? Or do you just object to the reminder that they exist?
This menu is delicious, but with rare exceptions it is all you are going to get. People coming for more than a few weeks are advised to bring a discreet bottle of Tabasco sauce.
Eat at better restaurants.
With any order from the master menu comes the Bread Basket, which should be treated as you would treat a basket of wax fruit, that is, as a purely decorative ornament. It is considered bad form to actually eat anything from Bread Basket
What are you talking about. Do all your dining companions just suck, eat some bread.
Dulce de leche is a culinary cry for help. It says "save us, we are baffled and alone in the kitchen, we don't know what to do for dessert and we're going to boil condensed milk and sugar together until help arrives". This cloying dessert tar is so impossibly sweet that you wish you were ten years old again, just so you could actually enjoy it. It is everywhere. There is a special dulce de leche shelf in the supermarket dairy case, and the containers go up to a liter in size. Even the churros are stuffed with it - the churros, Montresor!
It is rare that I feel insulted for the sake of my country, but this? How dare you.
Yes, of course we fill churros with dulce de leche; the real question is why anyone doesn't, short of dietary restrictions. Finding out that people do otherwise was like learning that in other countries, "sandwich" just means two slices of bread. Live a little. Eat a real godsdamned churro.
I spent a considerable amount of time trying to figure out how meals work in Argentina, and they remain a mystery to me. Dinner is clear enough: people tend to go to restaurants beginning at ten o'clock (for those with small children), with the main rush around eleven, and dinner is pretty much over at one or so in the morning. And breakfast - or rather, its absence - follows as a logical consequence of eating a steak the size of a beagle at midnight. But I have yet to figure out whether people eat some kind of meal in the afternoon, and if so, when.
At... noon? Like. We eat lunch. Usually somewhere around 12:00. I am eating lunch right now, and I have done so essentially every day of my life. This is just baffling.
I've come to think the culprit in the missing Argentine lunch scene is yerba mate.
how.
Where the ignorant foreigner may see just another kind of herbal tea (yerba mate is a very unassuming shrub that grows in the northern parts of the country) the Argentine sees a taste treat of unimaginable subtlety, and a tonic for all his problems. The Wikipedia article on proper mate preparation should give you a warning of the level of obsessiveness attainable here (the Urugayans are even worse). To the virgin palate, mate tastes like green tea mixed with grass clippings. The beverage is traditionally drunk out of a little gourd, through a metal straw called a bombilla, with hot (but not boiling!!) water poured into it (without wetting the surface!! clockwise!!) from a thermos.
Yeah, this is accurate. Well, not the clockwise part, never heard anyone complain about that and I can't imagine it mattering.
What distinguishes mate from coffee and tea is the social context - two or more people share a gourd, with a designated pourer in charge of refilling it with hot water after each turn. The ritual is low-fuss but indispensible. You can buy mate gourds and thermoses in any grocery store, and get your thermos filled with hot water at any convenience store or gas station, but you will never see mate served in restaurants or sold in little disposable paper gourds, to go. it's not that people refuse to drink mate alone - anyone working a solitary shift will have a gourd in hand - but that the concept of being served mate by someone who does not share it with you seems impossible.
This is also true. Attempts have been made to sell to-go mate but it's never very popular, the social ritual is important. Also unfortunately a disease vector, I haven't had any mate in a year and a half.
Mate aficionados will tell you that mate contains a special compound, mateine, that serves as a tonic and mild stimulant, promoting alertness without making it hard to sleep, reducing fatigue and appetite, helping the digestion and serving as a mild diuretic. Scientists will tell you that mateine bears a suspicious resemblance to a chemical called caffeine. Mate aficionados will then grow indignant, explaining that mateine is really a stereoisomer (mirror image) of caffeine, with different effects, which will in turn irritate the scientists, who will snap that caffeine doesn't have a chiral center, so it can't have a distinguishable mirror image, and why don't the mate aficionados just put a sock in it.
The first part of this is true; some people definitely think "mateine" is different from caffeine and it absolutely isn't. Never heard the stereoisomer claim before but googling it does confirm some people say so.
still have no idea what any of this has to do with lunch, though. I promise you nobody skips lunch because mate is just too filling.
The wine here is very good (something has to stand up to that steak), but Argentina has no liquor to call its own, relying on whiskies like Old Smuggler and the low-maintenance Don Juan cognac to carry the flag.
There's a fundamental omission from this list and it's called fernet.
Beer is ubiquitous and comes in a bewildering variety of sizes, although there is a skittishness about the full-on liter. Things level off at 970 mL. In my case, it means I end up drinking 1940 mL of beer as a kind of personal protest, and all is well with the world. To make up for the abundance of sizes, beer comes in only one variety, Quilmes, which inevitably comes served with a tripartite platter of snacks - nuts, salty cylinders, and aged potato chips.
I never had trouble buying beer by the litre, but I confess I never tried to do so in 2006 on account of being under 18 at the time.
Anyway, beer comes in a lot more varieties today, thankfully, because Quilmes sucks. I'll never be a beer person, but at least these days there's options I tolerate.
[original post]
55 notes · View notes
vore-scientist · 4 years ago
Text
Like A Good Neighbor (sfw safe vore)
[M/nb vore with fearplay. safe soft oral non-sexual]
A tale of the Mystic Woods! Featuring Yonah HaEsh and Myran the Dwarf Witch and many other fun characters!
A story of bad first impressions and making new friends! Lots of GT, and a cute little adventure at a magical farmer’s market!
Warning: Careful there are references to Fa.tal! An example would be “ogres are far more likely to eat smallfolk than giants!” (implying that said actions are deadly). That is the extent of such references!
Other warning: mild harm during the immediate post-vore scene. Yonah just goes a little too far in scaring Myran.
——/——////——
“Did you hear?”
“Have you been told?”
“A new resident!”
“I haven’t checked it out myself! But Ms Zukkar told me-”
“A wizard!”
“Didn’t there used to be an old sorcerer there?”
“-new guy’s a witch!”
“So, hear about that new giant!”
“A giant wouldn’t fit in that tower! And wizards is all human!”
“A criminal, on the run they say”
“Maybe a magician? They like towers sometimes!”
“His Majesty wouldn’t hire a criminal!”
“-supposed to be evil?”
There were so many rumors being flung around that the dwarf witch Myran Gamadin decided to see for themselves and set out to investigate. Undoubtedly there was a new resident. The story was that he was a Mage, and a criminal, but also just expelled from The Academy of Wizardry. And a giant? That was strange, the old tower was much too small for a giant! Even if it was magic it was only 10ft taller than your average giant in the first place. However… they did hear about the trial of a giant recently… stuff that happened in the civilized court didn’t really concern those in the Woods.
“Why would you go to see a villain? You’re not evil!”
The World’s Largest™ Maine Coon cat trotted alongside the handsome young dwarf, looking more like an oddly fluffy pony than a cat.
“It’s important to know your neighbors! Even the evil ones!”
Siv flicked his tail up into his witch’s face.
“And he’s got to be just a young man! So young and the expectations on evil mages is so high! He will appreciate a friendly face!” Myran had done the math. If this Mage hadn’t even graduated from The Academy, he was at most 23. Unless he started his education late. But they doubted this.
“Why are we walking! You have your broom!” the cat complained.
“That’s for the tower, Siv. It’s one of those designed by assholes who think it’s clever to have the only entrance be the window at the top.”
“Hrfff,” said Siv.
“Do you think he will appreciate the house-warming gift? I didn’t really spend much time on it…”
“Fresh fish would be better.”
“Maybe if he were a cat. This is for a Mage.”
“Clippings of magical plants? Maybe for another witch. This is someone who was studying Wizardry.”
“Wizards use magical plants too!”
“Yeah, they buy them from witches!”
As the pair stepped out of the trees, they froze.
“I think he’ll like the gift,” Siv admitted as he And Myran stood in awe at the largest magical garden either of them had ever seen.
It wasn’t even finished yet! Plots of earth were freshly turned, and piles of wood, half built into beds that lay in patterns across the clearing. And massively spread apart. At least 3 meters between plots. And the finished ones. Well. They already had some amazing specimens. Even if they were just sprouting. Myran noticed the Twisted WyrmFern and harpy’s breath; delicate, but common magical plants that were being used to test out the soil. It was working great.
The garden did make Myran worry a bit.
Maybe this wasn’t a wizard at all! It could be a witch. And he could be very evil indeed. Even evil witches treated their gardens with the utmost care and attention.
But they had come this far. And the tower that looked over the garden was calling to them. Well. Not really. The green-black thorny vines screamed “STAY AWAY!” But when one had a flying broomstick, one didn’t need to heed such warnings.
Flipping their broom around like a baton, they sat side saddle and Siv hopped on the end, somehow managing to balance his prodigious fluff. They took off. And flew into the window.
“WOAAAHHH!”
It was like hitting an unexpected and large wave on a boogie board, but a magical one that flowed through the body! And Myran had never been to the ocean, so it made their brain swim.
The room, which from the outside looked normal, was anything but. The rumors of this being a giant were not just rumors.
This place was HUGE!
And yet, it was much too small.
Growing up, Myran had visited some giant villages with their family. They hadn’t been THAT much smaller then, but the houses and items in the village were definitely much larger. While giant mages certainly existed, they had their own traditions and made their own supplies.
This looked exactly like the workshop for a young wizard, with additions for the wizard being a giant. It was wild to see some of the common arcane tools at such an immense scale.
Flying over, Myran saw that the resident Mage had an ancient book under a magnifying glass, and had been translating it, with notes and commentary. Spell equations and diagrams were additionally copied in a dedicated smaller notebook.
While it was surely a fascinating read, they could tell at a glance the notes were somewhere in the middle of an involved spell, and they didn’t want to be the reason the Mage lost his place. The workbench had plenty of other diverting materials.
Siv had no interest in such things and curled up against the base of the magnifying glass. The sun hit the metal through the window, making it quite warm.
Myran put their broom down and explored the desk. There were several magical tombs! Rare ones! They flipped through and saw fresh handwritten notes tucked inside. Smart, this mage did not want to tarnish the original pages. There was also an open notebook and a few spell components laid out.
They stepped carefully back onto the notebook to get a better idea of what this wizard was up to. The notebook was written in giant, which Myran wasn’t fluent in but got the gist of. So this was indeed a giant wizard. Fascinating.
That’s what they were thinking until...
FEE FI FO FUM!
Myran nearly jumped out of their boots.
No longer fascinating. Very bad. Very dangerous! They’d heard stories that quoted these lines, classic, even amusing. However, hearing them bellowed by an actual giant nearly stopped their heart. These words were so loud and so immediately panic-inducing, especially when accompanied by thundering footsteps.
I SMELL THE BLOOD OF THE-
There was a pause and maybe a stutter
DWARVEN KIND!
The trap door off center in the room burst open and a giant with a mane of black hair, a trimmed goatee, and a wizard’s hat, climbed out. He was smiling, snarling, showing off impressive fangs.
USELESS TO FLEE, USELESS TO FIGHT, FOR YOU WILL BE MY MEAL TONIGHT!
Eat them!? Oh No. Myran scrambled to their feet as the giant advanced.
Siv had gone catatonic, or nearly, and fled behind the mirror. But Myran just stood there. The next thing they knew, they were in the giant's fist… AND THEN IN ITS MOUTH! There was a brief moment where they thought the giant was going to bite them in half… but no. Worse than that, the giant fulfilled his promise to make a meal of Myran by swallowing them whole.
Never had Myran imagined themselves in this predicament. Witches, as far as they knew, were not prone to being eaten by giants! Giants ate thieves, slayers, adventurers! Though... giants were known to occasionally eat random people that happened to be rude to them as they went about their business.
Myran had not been rude! They just hadn’t had a chance to be polite! This giant had no business eating them.
Not that any of this was actually going through Myran’s mind. Oh no. Myran’s thoughts were preoccupied with panicking about their impending doom!
First, they tried to stop the giant from swallowing. But the teeth threatened to crunch their limbs if they dared to try and find purchase! So, failing that, they tried to slow their progress down his esophagus.
The problem was the walls were too damn slippery! They knew that their slow progress was merely due to the tight fit, as they couldn’t stretch out. The flesh was too tough.
Right before they started to worry about suffocating, they were deposited into a large chamber, sliding into a puddle of nasty smelling fluid. They took a regretful breath of the rancid air.
Yonah sighed as the dwarf left his throat and settled into his stomach. Small yet still filling.
He patted his stomach lightly. “A bit disappointing. Dwarves don’t taste nearly as good as most other smallfolk, but I’m not complaining.” His prey thrashed and yelled but didn’t seem to be coherent.
YEOWCH!
Something bit his hand and he waved it violently. Whatever it was released and smacked into the wall that the desk was up against, crumpled into a motionless pile. Curious and momentarily forgetting his snack, Yonah investigated.
A cat!? And still alive but unconscious. Why had a cat attacked him? Then he saw the abandoned broom next to his notebook. And his stomach twisted.
“You’re— not a thief!” Technically, he could eat anyone he wanted, he wasn’t restricted to adventurers. He was still figuring out what kind of villain he wanted to be. Such self exploration would take time, time the person he ate didn’t have.
“I’m a witch!” He heard them squeak.
“A witch? Invading the lair of a wizard? Are you stupid!” He poked at them. They didn’t like that.
“Let me out!!”
So Yonah spat them up, sooner than he would have liked to, and leaned over them with a frown and glowing eyes.
The moment the witch hit the desk, the cat woke up and was between him and the witch as it hissed.
The witch was shaking and coughing, glancing at him with wide fearful eyes.
“If you’re a witch then what the fuck were you doing in my tower?” Yonah demanded.
The witch was still in shock but recovered enough to speak. “I’m… Myran! I wanted to introduce myself!”
“A likely story! Why would anyone want to introduce themselves to me?” Yonah wasn’t really in the mood for conversation, but figured he could use the practice at evil banter.
“You’re… new to the forest” they coughed.
“What’s it to you?”
“I’m your neighbor!” they said,
Yonah narrowed his eyes, “The forest is constantly moving, no such thing as neighbors.”
“I figured I’d try to be friendly!” they continued as if he hadn’t replied. “Everyone was talking about the new mage in the tower, but no one had any definitive stories.”
Another mistake. The giant snarled.
“You are a fool then! I don’t want any friends!” He hesitated briefly as he said it, not sure of the truth, but recovered fast. “But I don’t want you spreading rumors about my mercy either…” he picked them back up. Gripping them hard and getting their right arm between his teeth. He didn’t bite their arm off, but broke the skin with a fang and pinched their hand. They yelled.
“Stop! Stop! I won’t tell! I won’t tell!”
He dropped them and they sat, crying, holding their bleeding arm and hand which was turning a plum purple.
“Good,” he hissed steam in their face, scalding the skin red as his eyes glowed bright orange. “Now get the fuck out before I eat you for real!” He flicked the broom at them. “And if you ever show your face around here again, I will.”
Finally, they listened to him. They got onto the broom along with their cat and with a burst of magic kicked into the air and fled out the window. Yonah watched until they disappeared, then sat down. His hair hadn’t been smoking before but it was now. Additionally, his eyes still glowed.
His first visitor in months wasn't an adventurer and he’d eaten them without a second thought! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Maybe this was his destiny. For years he’d trained himself to be restrained. Keep his anger in check, Keep his half giant identity a secret and become a wizard. But that had all gone to shit when he’d been discovered not as just a half giant, but as a half fire witch. Chased out of the academy but captured by the authorities of Orr.
Forced to sign a contract with King Ben to become his new pet monster! So why not be a monster!?
But he still wanted friends… his friends from the academy weren’t allowed to visit him. His tower of magic and wonder was so empty. He put his elbows on his desk and buried his face in his hands.
~chink~ his elbow brushed against something.
He looked down and saw a broken clay pot, the soup spilling out and a seedling now helpless and exposed on the desk.
Quickly yonah dipped his fingers into a pouch at his side and licked it, saying a spell. With a puff of smoke he stood on his desk, a mere 8ft tall, and he knelt down.
With his more appropriately sized hands he gathered the soil and with a wave of his hand and another mutter the pieces of the pot shook and flew back into their original places. The pot was… functionally repaired. The proper repair spell required materials to fuse the pieces properly. So it wouldn’t hold water, but it could hold soil.
As he scooped it back in, a piece of paper fell from the loose soil. Curious he dug it back out of the pot and cleaned it off enough to read:
“Welcome to the Mystical Woodlands new neighbor! This seedling is from my own garden. A special cultivation of Frozen Thyme.”
The moment he read it he was instantly planning where this would go in his garden. But… this gift. Did he deserve it? He’d eaten the one who brought it. He chased them away!
He couldn’t accept this gift but he couldn’t just let the seedling wither and die. It didn’t deserve that. And thus, his brain rationalized a way for him to keep the gift. So now what?
Yonah’s brain was too full of rage to do any proper work, so he decided to take it out on the garden, which was still in a state of construction. He’d already torn up old dead pieces of the overgrown mess left behind by the predecessor. Now he was digging spots for flower beds and what would hopefully be an orchard. There was even a designated spot for herbs.
The reason this was slow going was he refused to use magic. For the most part. Thankfully, being giant made digging and construction easier. Now that he had the thyme, he prioritized the herb beds. It was with a sour pride that he completed one as the sun started to go down.
A large wooden box that curved in a lovely arc close to the tower. The wood was specially imported from his The Blue Sky Mountain Giants Tribe in the Implausible Mountains, the smell of it reminding him of home. The frozen thyme seedling was given enough space to grow. He even gave it some friends that he knew would be compatible.
With his mind a little more at ease, he managed to get himself to sleep.
And awoke the next morning with an ache in his heart and a new plan in his brain.
For the first time since he arrived in this prison of a forest, he ventured beyond the boundaries of his clearing. Yonah knew he was allowed, a certain distance from his tower, to walk the forest. It had just seemed pointless. Not wanting to draw too much attention, he wore his gardening outfit: a pink plaid button up and light blue overalls. He had a straw hat that he recently wove to be a wizard hat, as well as his wizard staff. He couldn’t really leave that behind.
The trees in the forest were shorter than back home, but still very large. Thankfully he didn't have to duck so much to avoid branches. In his mind was a list of ingredients he needed to find. Foraging in the forest might seem like a fruitless endeavor, but when you have the keen nose of a giant, tracking down wildberries was a simple feat.
What a bounty! A huge patch of bramble with perfectly ripe berries. He didn’t need a giant’s amount and they would just get squashed if he tried to pick them at his normal size so once again he shrank down. He retrieved a basket from his hat and started to pick berries.
About ten minutes in, the bush began to shift! A section opened up and out ran a gnome with a garden spade. It smacked into his hand mid berry pick.
“Stop! Thief!”
SMACK SMACK!
Yonah was so startled he backed away and returned to his normal size, the basket of berries spilling over.
The gnome yelped. “Giant!” They dropped the spade. “Don’t eat me! Take berries! Don’t eat me or family!”
There was something satisfying about the gnome’s fear and Yonah grinned, “While you would make for a nice little snack,” he said, “I’m not in the mood for gnome today.”
The gnome shook and took up the spade again, pointing it at him as if that would help. From inside the bushes, Yonah heard rustling, and smelled more gnomes. This must cover their burrow.
“Put that away, or I might change my mind!” Yonah growled, showing his fangs. The gnome complied, tossing it aside.
“But you are also in luck. I am not interested in being a berry thief. I have more honor than that. If you would permit me to buy some of your berries, at a discount for me not making a meal of you and your family, I will leave you in peace”
The gnome gulped and nodded, “Am… sure we can make a deal.”
“Pick up the ones I already picked, will you?” Yonah ordered.
The gnome scrambled. “You will need more?”
Yonah nodded. The gnome whistled. And a troupe of younger gnomes carefully came out of the bramble.
“Kind giant has offered to buy some berries. Exchange for not eating us!”
The kids looked nervous and their fear didn’t spark the same kind of joy as the adults. But Yonah had a reputation to build! And he had to admit, it was still a bit fun.
He watched as the gnomes gathered berries until the basket was full and the adult gnome put it down in front of where Yonah had sat down. He picked it up and took off his hat, dropping it in and noticed the gnome’s eyes get wide. Storage space items were not uncommon, but storage hats were tools of professional mages, not common folk.
“That all?” the gnome asked.
Yonah stroked his beard thoughtfully, “Yes. I think so.” He reached into this hat. While he didn’t have a lot of money, Ben had supplied him with funds should he need them, and he had distributed the rings between his various pocket spaces. He got out a large wooden dowel upon which hung many metal rings. Small ones and large ones. With a pair of tweezers, yonah removed a few silver rings and one gold ring and put them into his palm, placing it up in front of the gnome.
Who did not take it.
“Do not insult me by refusing my payment,” Yonah insisted but the gnome did not move.
“More than we charge normally… You wanted discount: berries, a silver a pound!”
Yonah blinked. He still wasn’t good with smallfolk money. When purchasing as a giant, you purchased such large amounts it always cost at least a gold.
“Oh? Er-” he didn’t want to actually exploit these gnomes. “I'm not taking it back! Take the money Or I’ll eat you!” his voice faltered and the gnomes looked a little confused, and a little more relaxed.
“Leave us alone then, yes?” The gnome reached out a hand. Yonah nodded. The gnome finally took the money, giving each of the kids a silver ring. Any fear the kids had was gone as soon as they studied their rings and looked at Yonah with excitement. It was hard not to let the warmth in his heart at their expressions show on his own face.
“Actually!” Yonah announced as the gnomes started to back away into their burrow.
The adult stopped and looked nervous again. Yonah huffed. “I’m not going to eat you, I never was. I just have a question.”
The gnome ushered the kids away, not trusting Yonah, before turning back to the giant. “And if don’t have a good answer, you won’t eat… right?”
With a sigh Yonah shook his head, “No. I won't.”
“Then ask.”
Yonah took a breath, “I am... looking to get some ingredients. I… lashed out at someone recently and I very much regret it, and want to make some amends. I have giant ones back home but… giant sized ingredients do not taste as strong as small ones. Do you know where, or who, I might be able to look for?”
The gnome smiles, “Yes! Mystical Market. Sell our berries there. Open today, also gnome holiday.” They gave Yonah the instructions on how to find the market.
“Thank you- er…” Yonah put a hand to his chest and bowed.
“Kalle” said Kalle.
“Yonah,” said Yonah. The gnome bowed as well, “Don’t be flaunting riches, mysterious half giant. Marketeers take advantage”
Riches!? He did not have endless funds. He would have to be more careful with his spending.
“I am also looking for… Er... Shit!” he exclaimed and was glad the kids were no longer outside, “I don't know their name. Dwarf witch.”
Kalle considered, “Know them. Likes almond cookies. Sorry. Market easier find than people. That all?”
From their tone of voice, Yonah knew the gnome desperately wanted to get back to their family. It was a holiday after all. Yonah stood up and nodded, leaving without subjecting them to any more conversation.
Almond cookies? That changed things. He had only made almond cookies once! He needed a little more help. However, he did not backtrack to the tower. He knew that if he went back, he would lose motivation. Locating the market was his current task.
Unfortunately, it took some luck. According to the gnome, it was a special place that one happened to come across, just by wanting to be there. The more familiar you were with it, the better chance there was of that happening. Yonah really really wanted to be there. So he gathered his will and set off in a random direction.
After an hour of walking yonah felt a weird tingle all over his arms and legs. Like his hair was standing on end and all pointing in the same direction. Had he entered some magical field? No matter, he was fairly immune to passive magic.
Then he took another step and a jolt of magic electricity surged through his body, causing him to freeze up. Before he could collapse, he felt as if a giant hook had caught around his middle. There was no physical hook, but it still yanked him back, pulling in through the forest.
Eventually it stopped and finally Yonah fell over, breathing shallowly as his heart raced. He rolled onto his back and stared up into the trees.
“What’s the big idea!?” Someone kicked him in the side and he sat up. “You’re blocking the way!”
An elf!
Yonah frowned. “You’re so bold for someone I could crush with a finger!” To tease the elf, he poked them in the chest.
“YEOWCH!”
For the second time that day, Yonah got bitten. This time, it was the elf who sank their fangs into his finger, letting go before Yonah pulled away.
“Don’t get sassy with me! Messing with smallfolk isn’t allowed in the market, you'll be banned!”
Yonah looked around “The market?”
He had assumed it was the Mystical Market because it was in the Mystical Woodlands. But now he realized that the name was rather accurate. An entire marketplace incorporated into the forest itself. Stalls and restaurants built into the trees, with carts parked in between. The trees here were also… there was no other word for it: majestic. Larger and older and, compared to the forest he had been exploring before, more deliberate spacing. He couldn’t even see all of it. The forest stretched on for a while, and thus was obscured by the very trees that made up the shops.
There were even buildings in the branches so that ogres, trolls, and giants did not have to bend down to make transactions. He even spotted a few trolls. Amazing! Trolls (and ogres) were much more likely than giants to eat smallfolk. Giants mostly threatened unless the person in question did something really, really stupid.
And yet, there was a troll, large with brown fur and green spots, purchasing a roll of fabric from the elevated section of a gnome shop.
“Yes you idiot, the market! And my cart won't fit through any other path! Move your giant ass or I’ll get the guard to move it for you!”
His elation at having found the market was in conflict with his pride that was being so insulted by this little creature.
“Apologize for biting me, and I’ll consider it!”
The elf looked indignant. “You threatened to squash me! MAGEN!!” they yelled.
Thunderous footsteps were heard and Yonah turned as a proper, full blooded giant, made her way through the shoppers, somehow avoiding stepping on anyone. She was maybe 17, but full grown and taller than Yonah by at least ten feet. Her skin was a light greyish pink and her eyes were a dark red. She wore a lovely headpiece of woven flowers and vines to look like hair, which full giants do not have.
She knelt “This man bothering you?”
The elf nodded. Yonah threw his hands up, “Hey! I don’t mean any trouble!”
“He threatened to squash me!”
The giant glared at Yonah, who glared back.
“How largefolk deal with smalls outside of the market is their own business,” she said. “But inside the market we do not even threaten to squash, or kick, or stomp, or eat!”
“I did not intend to and I did not know I was in the market! I have never been before!” Yonah stood up so that he was not at such an extreme height disadvantage. Magen was a rather short mountain giant, only 35ft tall.
She nodded, “I can believe that.” She stood up. “I would have remembered you for sure.” She sniffed and said in implausible Giant: “You are from the blue sky tribe?”
“Yes! I am.” he answered, also in Giant. “I just moved to the forest. I was looking for the market but… I must have… hit something magic. I sort of fell into here”.
The elf took the opportunity to weave their cart around the giants’ feet, disappearing into the market.
“Ah, the seller seems to no longer push this issue. My name is Magen.” she introduced, bowing.
“Yonah HaEsh,” Yonah answered in return.
“HaEsh! I know the name. Fire man who helped save the Implausible Mountains from the Society of Wizards!”
“That’s my dad,” Yonah said, a little embarrassed.
“Mom told me the story! How exciting!”
Yonah brushed himself off and glanced around, “So... What are the rules here, then?”
Magen shrugged, “Just don’t start fights, alright? All sales are final, so don't go making a fuss if you haggled wrong or think you got cheated unless you believe your items are defective. There are ways to deal with fraudulent goods, but we cannot risk collateral damage.”
“Does that happen often?” Yonah asked, “I only mean to buy food, I can tell if that’s fresh”
“Oh, you have a giant’s nose then. Good. It does not happen often. Makes my job easier. And I usually manage to break up confrontations before they get out of hand.”
Knowing he could likely sniff out the stalls he needed, Yonah asked if Magen could show him around and help him find all the items on his list. She happily agreed. He had to walk behind her as there wasn’t room for two giants to be side by side.
As she carefully led him, she took glances back and down Yonah who was getting a little nervous. It had been a while since he encountered other giants. He was watching his feet to make sure he didn’t hurt anyone, and he was stopping constantly to look into the shops and stalls and carts.
“What is it like, being half giant?” Magen asked, who somehow managed to walk without looking at her feet very often at all. Maybe Yonah was being too careful and people here knew to stay out of the way of largefolk's feet… Still, he didn't want to take chances.
“Er… I have hair, I guess?” he said.
“I was wondering if that was natural or a wig.” Magen brushed the vines spilling from her head.
“But mostly, things were just a bit inconveniently large for me. I still managed.” Then he countered. “What’s it like being a guard in the market?”
“The shopkeepers pool money to have me stand around, mostly. Smallfolk behave when an angry giant is within earshot.” She grinned with all her fangs.
“I thought you said giants couldnt mess with smallfolk here?” Yonah inquired.
“You can’t. It’s my job to interfere,” Magen retorted. “I haven't hurt anyone… badly. I’ve only worked here for a year. But I know everyone and everyone knows me!”
They stopped at a stand selling nuts and Yonah purchased the almonds he needed. The seller seemed a bit disappointed that he bought so few.
“Shopping for someone small?” Magen asked.
“Er- yeah.” Yonah said. They both had to back between trees to let a trio of trolls go by. One was only 10 feet tall and barely came up to Yonah’s waist, but another was nearly 20 feet! They carried baskets and bags on their furry backs, and even had some tied to their tusks!
Before they continued, two elves leapt from the tree nearby and onto Yonah’s shoulders! He was about to brush them off when Magen stopped him.
“Don’t! They are just hitching rides!” At that, he spotted more elves on her head. “You need honey, yes? I know the best shop!”
He followed Magen around the market, which was much larger than he had realized. The elves had no qualms about leaping on and off him and other largefolk shoppers and eventually he ignored them. Magen even helped him avoid making a bad deal for oat flour, saying she couldn’t believe the nerve of the shopkeeper trying to take advantage of a new resident.
Before Yonah left, he wanted to properly thank Magen. “If there is anything I can do to show thanks. Perhaps er-” he looked around.
“You know, the juice stand behind that tree has new flavors I’ve wanted to try. How about you buy me a drink? You should get one too. It’s very refreshing!”
“They make them giant sized?” Yonah asked.
“Oh, they are made by ogres!” Magen replied, rounding the indicated tree.
Ogres, kin of trolls and even more dangerous due to their magical powers. Typically smaller than trolls, but that was not the way to tell them apart.
An entire family of ogres were operating a massive open storefront. Jugs hung from branches or were strapped to the trunks of trees and fruit swung in baskets. Behind the counter was an elaborate prep station operated by two large ogres. Around the entire display were platforms sticking out from the nearby trees. Smallfolk sat on stools enjoying drinks and food at an elevation that made it easy to be served by the ogres. Magen walked up to the counter, which was not at an ideal height for her but was easily manageable. She spoke to an ogre with straw colored fur, blue spots, and large horns.
“Edna! I’d like two passion fruit smoothies please! One giant sized and one…” She glanced back at Yonah. “Full Troll sized!” She stepped aside and pointed at Yonah. “He’s paying”
Edna nodded and passed on the order.
Yonah stepped forward. Bowing “Yonah HaEsh”. She bowed back, “Edna Baneclaw. That will be a gold bracelet for the giant and half for the full troll”
Yonah’s heart nearly stopped. A gold bracelet and a half !? He looked at Magen who flashed her fangs mischievously then back at Enda.
Edna smiled as well. “We don’t have enlarged passion fruit, not in high demand by largefolk.”
With another glare at Magen, Yonah fished into his hat. He didn’t have gold bracelets but he had rings. 10 silver to a gold. Rings to Rings. Bracelets to Bracelets… 10 gold rings to a silver bracelet… 10 silver bracelets to a gold ring. That’s 100 gold rings to a gold bracelet (he had really overpaid the gnomes for the berries... A holiday gift he supposed), but this was not money to spend on frivolous fruit drinks!
Too late, however. The drinks were ready, and he carefully removed golden rings from silver bracelets. 50 gold rings and 10 silver bracelets exchanged for two smoothies. They came in wooden cups with bamboo straws.
This better be fucking worth it. Yonah took a sip.
His eyes widened as the cool icy tart concoction hit his taste buds and he took a long drink. Finally, he looked at Magen and then Edna. “This is incredible!” he exclaimed. Magen grinned and sipped hers as well. “Yeah. Too bad we’re the last two to have some for at least a month!”
“What do you mean?”
“That took all the passion fruit we had,” Edna informed. “Won't get more for a while”
“Worth it! Suck it smallfolk!” Magen teased the people on the platforms, a few looked a bit annoyed, but most didn't seem to care. She didn't seem to care either.
“Well it was nice meeting you, Yonah. I hope to see you again. Oh, and by the way, you can return your mug to the ogres for a silver bracelet, even if you take it home today!”
Yonah glanced at his drink. “Oh! Thanks for letting me know. But where are you going?”
Magen sipped at her smoothie loudly before answering. “This was my break, silly, I need to go back on proper duty now, and you have all your things.” Magen held out her free hand and Yonah shook it, bidding her goodbye. It was getting late in the day now and he wanted to get to work on the almond cookies.
Wait… which way was back to the tower? How could he be so stupid wandering off like this!? His mom taught him better than that. Forest ranger rule number 1: DON’T GET LOST. ...okay, so that wasn’t really a rule. It was supposed to imply that you paid attention to where you were going so you could get back. This was not so easy in the Mystic Woods.
The moment he had walked far enough away from the market, he turned forward and then back, and it was already gone. He had nowhere to go but forward.
It was to his great surprise that only a minute later, he exited the dense trees and found himself in the clearing. The tower was on the opposite side. While he was elated to have made it back safely before dark, there was a distinct absence of any gladness to be home. This was not his home, after all. It was his prison.
Yonah HaEsh climbed up the tower and back into his prison. He took off his hat and sat down at his desk in the workshop, staring into the reflection on the large, ornate mirror that rested upon it.
To do this right, he needed help. Professional help. So he activated his mirror. Or at least… tried. He stared at his own reflection, then spoke. “Mirror Mirror on the desk,” he faltered, “Could you please connect me to Shoshana at the academy?”
The mirror snorted. “You think politeness will work after all this time? I don’t make exceptions. This is why your friends think you’ve forgotten about them! Put in the effort! Ask me properly or don't at all.”
“They’ve called me!!” Yonah insisted, but the mirror said nothing in response. Just like he would do when he got calls from his friends. Yonah growled and snorted back at the mirror, fogging it up. “Mirror Mirror, oh magical vanity, I wish to call Shoshana, at the wizard academy”
There was a whistle from the mirror. “Now that’s how you do it!” it praised. The fog cleared and for a brief moment, he saw his own face again before the reflective surface turned grey. Another moment and the face of his friend Shoshana emerged.
“Yonah!!!” she exclaimed. “You called! I cannot believe it!”
Yonah’s face turned a bit red. “I’ve… been distracted.”
Shoshana waved her hand, stopping any further excuses. “You’ve been through so much! I was worried! Since we graduated, you haven't called at all!”
/I never called before either... / Yonah thought. /It was always you.../ When Grand Master Sean reinstated him as a wizardling student, his friends would call regularly to work on homework and their theses, as he wasn’t allowed to actually attend the school in person. And while he attended the graduation…
That wasn’t a happy memory at all and he didn’t want to think about how he sat behind all the students in the amphitheater in magic chains looking more like a beast one of the adventuring tract students had wrangled for their final than a student.
“I need a recipe!” he said.
Shoshana raised her brows “That’s it!? First call in over a month, and it’s to get a recipe! You don’t want to catch up at all?!” Yonah’s eyes flickered and Shoshana backed off. “Alright, I can see you’re not in the mood. But please, we’re all missing you so much. We’d assumed you embraced the evil hermit wizard life.”
“I… haven’t meant to. But it’s surprisingly easy,” he admitted, grinning awkwardly. “I’d rather not go full hermit, of course.”
“Well, then dont go a month without calling your friends!” Shoshana chided. “Or make some new friends! The forest is full of interesting people, right?”
Yonah looked away, but his eyes were probably glowing orange now.
“This… is for that.”
“Oh!” Shoshana exclaimed, “I should have figured! Of course, I will give you whatever recipe you’d like.”
Yonah got out his ingredients to show Shoshana and explained what he wanted to bake. She nodded and made some suggestions for ingredients and spices to really make these cookies great. He did not have all the supplies she suggested, which led to some back-and-forth as Shoshana pointed out some substitutions for what Yonah bought or already had in his tower.
“Got that all down?” she asked, as she watched Yonah scribble out the final lines to the recipe.
“Yes!” Yonah exhaled in relief. “Thank you so much, Shosh!”
“Next time, we will catch up properly, but I had fun designing this recipe!” Shoshana chirped. “What a challenge. I wish you had called first, before just buying random ingredients.”
“I was already in the forest, Shosh.”
“I know, I know.” Shoshana blew Yonah a kiss and the mirror flickered back to his reflection.
It was time to bake! Which he did after shrinking down.
By the time he was done baking his jam print almond cookies, it was past midnight. He needed sleep and didn't think finding the witch at night was a particularly wise idea, especially since he was getting tired. That meant he was extra likely to be grumpy and irritable. So he placed the cookies in a special cooling rack to keep them magically fresh, then went to bed.
It was right after breakfast that Yonah HaEsh left the tower and, for the second time, entered the forest.
Once again, he had no direction, not that one could in the Mystic Woods. It wasn't even possible to have a map unless it was incredibly magical. Still, he was determined and willing to wander the forest for days if he must! But he’d do so at his full size, which would allow him to cover more ground.
That’s… That’s a witch’s hut! He hoped it was the correct one. It was more of a mound than a hut, with one side covered in rocks and moss and the other a more sheer side with windows, plus a flatter side with a door.
As he approached, a garden came into view and he heard a yelp before watching a small figure dart into the hut and close the curtains. The door opened briefly and a hand hung a sign that read “NO SOLICITORS”
That was the evil giant! Why was he here!? Why did the forest let him find the hut!? Was he here to eat them?! To finish the job!? Could they take on a giant fire witch?! Myran was a damn skilled witch, and at least 15 years the giant’s senior by their estimate, but they were quaking in their boots.
A knock sounded at their door. It didn’t sound forceful enough to be a giant. Siv was in front of them, hissing at the door. Thinking it better to be safe, they peeked out the window, then ran to open the door. Just a crack.
Red faced and holding a basket was… the giant. Only he wasn’t giant. Not exactly. He now stood at about twice Myran’s height. A little less actually. Right. Wizard. Giant wizard.
“May I come in?”
“Depends… what’s in the basket?” They narrowed their eyes. “I don’t want any nasty surprises.”
The wizard’s face got redder as he removed the cover. They opened the door and stood aside. They took the basket with their right hand… Yonah hesitated. Their arm had a massive scar from shoulder to elbow, but the hand was unbroken. The Dwarf noticed and gave him a hard look as he crouched low to get through the dwarf sized door, Siv still hissing at him in warning.
Myran put the basket on the kitchen table and motioned to the couch. “Please, sit.” Yonah did. The couch was small for him but it took his weight. “I’m going to be honest.” Myran leaned against the kitchen table and crossed their arms. “This is quite the unexpected visit.”
“Oh?” Yonah said. Of course, it made sense. He chased them out. Why would he then try to find them again?
“You bit me!” Myran reminded him harshly. “You broke my hand, and you said if you saw me again, you would eat me. Again. And kill me.”
/Ohhhh/
Yonah’s breath caught before managing to say. “I did… didn’t I?” He looked down at his feet.
Myran. sighed. “Yep. Though eating me at your current size would be an impressive feat. So... What the fuck are you doing here? Besides bringing me cookies to fatten me up.”
“I’m not-!” He looked back up to defend himself and saw their cheeky grin. “I didn’t come here to eat you��” They raised an eyebrow in sarcastic disbelief. “I want to apologize. For what I said… What I did. After I ate you. I was so angry. I still am, though mostly at myself. I shouldn't have hurt you. It wasn’t right.” He was almost crying. Dammit, he’d gone nearly a month without crying!
“And for eating me?”
“Huh?” Yonah was thoroughly confused.
“You’re sorry for what happened after you ate me, but what about eating me?”
Yonah bit his lip, “I’m… I’m not sorry about that.”
The witch raised both eyebrows now, genuinely curious as to the workings of this monster’s thoughts.
“I’m supposed to eat people! Especially those who enter my tower unannounced. It’s part of my job! And… And I like it!” He startled himself with that statement. He liked his job? He didn’t even want this job!! He was forcefully employed by the King under threat of death! Being evil had never been his plan and he didn’t want that. Did he?
The witch didn’t look completely satisfied with this answer. But they didn’t get to inquire further as Yonah’s curiosity got the better of him.
“Er- your hand…”
Myran smiled “It was rather mangled by your jaws yesterday. Luckily, I am a very good healer, and well-known in this forest. If you had killed me, you would have had a lot of angry forest residents after your head.” Myran began preparing a pot of tea as Yonah Processed that statement. “You’re a lucky giant aren’t you?”
“What?” Yonah voiced. “For not killing you and putting a target on my back?”
“Yes, exactly. And that was curious. It is rare that evil giants are merciful.”
Yonah looked away, “I’ve only been evil for a few months. I… you’re the third person I’ve eaten at all. And I dont… I haven’t yet… killed anyone.”
That surprised Myran. “I guess I do not know the frequency that giants normally encounter adventurers… but what I meant was you’re lucky that you even get to eat people. Most giants like the taste of smallfolk but they don't actually eat them. It’s rather rare.”
“You said it yourself. Evil Giants eat people,” Yonah pointed out. “Which I am one. I guess it’s… nice that I get to eat folks. But it comes with a cost… It’s only a matter of time before slayers come after me.”
“Most evil giants kill their victims, right?” Myran asked.
Yonah shrugged “I met another one once. Said it depended on his mood.”
“Fascinating… though if you keep up your more merciful streak, perhaps you are less likely to attract slayers?”
“Perhaps…” Yonah had not considered that. He just felt he wasn’t ready to kill anyone yet, but maybe there were other perks than just a clear conscience in continuing to let his snacks go.
“Cracked some sort of code then?” Myran inquired. “Getting to eat people without attracting too much attention? Not that this would stop all slayers,” they added. “I expect you would kill a slayer?”
Yonah nodded, sniffed, and wiped his nose. In that case… Guess he was lucky. Indeed, he’d gotten to taste plenty of smallfolk. Plenty of giants did. It was unique that he’d had his human dad while growing up. But all of the smallfolk in the village knew that when giants kissed their hands, the giants were getting little tastes. Sometimes giants would lick a friend playfully or freak someone out. He’d had a few elvish and human friends growing up, and they sometimes let him and the other giant kids lick them during games of Jacks and Giants. And his academy friends were quite amused by his affections. He very much missed them. It had not taken long for him to get used to living amongst human friends, not just because he got to taste them. And so quickly, that was taken away from him. Friends…
As tears welled in his eyes he couldn’t look at Myran any longer. He closed his eyes and turned his face away. Should he keep talking? Shit, how much of that had he said out loud!? The words continued to come out regardless.
“I know I said I didn’t want any friends. But I do! I need them. And I know I can’t be your friend. You came to me and I fucked it up. But I beseech you to not tell everyone else in the forest to avoid me. I already went to the mystical market and-“
“You… how did you find out that I liked almonds!”
Yonah looked up. They weren’t looking at him but reaching into the basket for another cookie. They munched on it thoughtfully, not a crumb falling into their beard. The tea was ready and Myran poured it with magic, leaving their hands free to hold more cookies. They walked over to Yonah, the tea cups floating with. He took the larger one out of mid air. It was very hot! And he drank. It was… It tasted like tea he’d had at home. His village had alway gotten various teas from the dwarves. New tears came to his eyes.
“You alright?” Myran asked, offering a handkerchief. “You’re a very emotional evil giant.”
Yonah took it and dried his eyes. “The tea is… really good.” That wasn’t the real reason but right now he couldn’t process all of his emotions.
“It’s my grandma’s blend,” Myran said. “I’ve tried to replicate it using my garden, but you just can’t replicate those tunnel grown fungi.”
They dipped one of the cookies into the tea. From their expression, it wasn’t really a mistake but likely didn’t improve the experience. Still they munched thoughtfully.
“I’ll be your friend.”
Yonah’s jaw nearly hit the floor and he almost dropped his tea. It was a few seconds before he managed to pick his jaw back up. Were they serious? They walked over to him, placing their much smaller hand over one of his. Then they smiled most disarmingly.
“Just don’t eat me again.”
Yonah smiled.
“I think I can manage that”
[FIN]
——
(You can imagine that Yonah got to hug Myran before he left, probably a little too tight but dwarves are tough!)
THANKS FOR READING! PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOYED MY STORY!
REBLOGS HELP SPREAD MY WORK! I also love knowing that people read my stories! My askbox and DMs are OPEN!!! let me know!!!
[Thanks for reading! please reblog! Or message me telling me what you think! I crave feedback! For more mystic woods go to vore-scientist.tumblr.com/tagged/mystic+woods+story or search ‘mystic woods story’]
big thanks to my amazing editors @j0hnnymouse and @vixen525
101 notes · View notes
javier-djarin · 4 years ago
Note
Congratulations on 1000 followers babes u absolutely deserve it!!
Could we get 1 & 38 from the prompt list w javier peña please xx
Tumblr media
Look What I Found
A Javier Peña One Shot
Ship: Javi x Reader
Rating: M
Word Count: 2,943 words
Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Drugs, Mild Violence, Soft!Javi
Masterlist
Tumblr media
Summary: Since Javi is working late, you decide to go out with some friends for the evening. Little did you know that it would lead you right to the job Javi was working.
A/N: This was so fun to write! It honestly almost had a very sad dramatic story as opposed to this fun and cute one! I hope you enjoy it, Anon!! Thank you for the support and love!!! Spanish translations are at the bottom, and please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!
Prompt 1: “You really shouldn’t be here.” Prompt 48: “I’m not carrying you to bed.” *carries them to bed*
Tumblr media
You were wearing your tightest dress and highest heels when your friends stopped by to pick you up. Javi told you he was working late that night, and your original plan was to stay in and read a book. But when your co-workers refused to take no for an answer, you decided to dress up that night and go out with them. They were taking you down to a club in downtown Bogotá, which made you a little nervous. At least you were in a group. He had told you to avoid certain areas of Bogotá, because occasionally, Pablo’s people would frequent clubs in the area looking for more than just a quick deal. You knew if he found out where you were going, he’d be furious, but again - you weren’t going alone. 
You heard the blare of a horn just below your apartment building, signaling that your friends were anxiously waiting for you to get your ass out there. Grabbing your clutch, you slid out of your apartment and gracefully made your way down the stairs. Viv, your best friend down here, leaned out of the window and let out an obnoxious wolf whistle, drawing the attention of several people walking by. Your face burned and you glared at her. “Shut it, Viv!” you exclaimed, climbing in next to her. 
“I’m just saying,” she chuckled, bumping your shoulder. 
Juan, her brother who was driving, turned around and gave you a once over. “You sure you want to stay with that Javier?” he teased.
You rolled your eyes. “Aye, hermanito,” Viv whined, “just drive!”
He chuckled. Viv’s boyfriend, Carlos, was next to Juan and shaking his head. “No tienes oportunidad,” he chuckled.
Juan huffed and put the car in drive. Viv leaned against the opposite door and smiled at you. “So he has to work late, again?” she complained.
You nodded. “Yeah, but he did say he’d make it up to me tomorrow,” you devilishly grinned.
She squealed. You saw both of the guys shaking their heads at you, and your cheeks burned again. Javier had a reputation, though, and so there was no use trying to hide what he’d meant by that. He also wasn’t shy about just how intoxicating he found you. Never in a million years would you have thought that someone like him would ever find you attractive or loveable. You came with so much baggage that previous partners were too afraid to unpack. But, Javier? Something was different about him. It was like he understood the depth of your pain and trust issues. He took the time to unpack it all, and he loved you anyway. “Wipe that stupid grin off your face,” she laughed.
You glanced at her from the corner of your eyes. “Where are we going anyway?” you asked.
“Zona T,” Carlos replied.
You hid your smile. Javi was going to be so pissed at you. “Is everyone else meeting us there?”
Viv nodded. “Yeah, Mona had to run back to her apartment for something, so they all rode together.”
You felt a little more at ease knowing even more people were going to be in your group. It would be easier to disappear into the group and stay out of any danger, should the problems arise at the clubs. Juan parked the car just a block away, as parking down there on a Friday night was insane. Viv looped her arm through Carlos’s and you stuck next to Juan as you walked to the first club where you were meeting the rest of your co-workers. The club was packed to the walls and the music was loud. 
***
“Shit,” he mumbled to himself when he saw you walking into the club. “She said she was staying in tonight.”
“What is it?” Steve asked.
“Y/N is here. She’s with her co-workers.”
Steve’s eyes grew wide. “Um, does she know who is inside?”
Javi shot him an annoyed glance and grabbed the walkie talkie off the dash. “Espera mi señal. Tenemos un pequeño problema.”
“¿Qué pasa?” Carrillo asked over the radio.
“Nada. Espera.” He tossed the walkie on the dash. “Stay here.”
“Where are you going?”
Javier sighed and opened the door to his Jeep. “I’m dragging her out of there so she isn’t in the crossfire.”
Steve leaned across the seat and grabbed his arm, pulling back into the Jeep. “You’re going to blow our cover. The second they see you…”
He whipped his head back around and stared at his partner. “I don’t give a shit. I want her out of there before Carrillo goes in guns blazing. Did you forget about La Dispensaría?”
Steve cringed. He remembered that incident. An innocent woman was murdered in the process of them getting Poison, and he was certain those photographs were flashing through Javier’s mind. “I told her to avoid these areas, for this reason,” he muttered, staring at the door, “so, I’m going inside to get her before she’s another picture in the paper.”
He let go of Javier and nodded. “Take the radio at least,” he said, “in case you need back up.”
Javi chuckled and grabbed it, clipping it to his belt. “We will be back in a few.”
Steve shook his head, knowing they were about to cause a scene. You were too stubborn to just let him boss you around, and Javier was too bull headed to take no for an answer. 
***
You were on your second drink when Viv pulled you onto the dance floor. You quickly finished it and followed after her to dance to her favorite song. You both twisted and turned with your hands in the air as you let the rhythm of the music move through you. It’d been a while since you cut loose. Juan approached the two of you after the song ended with another drink. You smiled at him as a thank you and sipped away.  You were leaning against the bar when you felt a hand on your shoulder and someone whisper into your ear, “You really shouldn’t be here.”
You sighed and spun around to look at him, drink in hand with a large grin. You leaned forward and gave him a chaste kiss. “I’m here with a group at least,” you replied, with a smile. 
He rested his hand on your waist, holding you close to him. “No, all of you need to get out of here.”
You turned around and grinned at Viv, who was leaning up against the bar next to Carlos. You gave her a wink and turned back to Javi. “We’re fine,” you replied, taking a long drink from your cup. 
He frowned at her and took the almost empty glass from her hand. “Hermosa,” he cautioned, “I’m serious. It’s too dangerous for you to be here.”
“Peña, do you copy?” the radio buzzed.
He growled. “¡Espera!” He exclaimed into the other end.
“Javi,” you said, resting your hands on his chest.
He grabbed your wrists and held them down at your sides. “You said you were staying in tonight. What happened to that plan?” He said, the worry lines on his forehead growing.
“Viv convinced me to go out for a little while, since you were working late,” you smiled, trying to ease him.
Javier let out a deep breath and looked at her friends behind her. “How much have you had to drink?”
You shrugged. “I think this is my third or fourth.”
He groaned and held the button down on his radio. “Estoy en el club y lo buscaré.”
“Esperaremos tu señal,” Carrillo replied.
“Tell Y/N hi for me,” you heard Steve add.
You chuckled at the annoyed look on Javi’s face as he glared from the radio to you. You reached forward and pressed the button. “Hi, Steve.”
Javier moved his hand and put his radio back on his belt. “Do you know why I’m here?”
The thought dawned on you. He was here for work, and suddenly an icy chill washed over you. The very reason Javi warned you to avoid this area was the very reason why he was there. You looked into his eyes, scared. He gave you a knowing, almost an “I told you so” look. Your friends had no idea what Javier did for a living, and telling them it was time to leave was going to be hard without exposing him.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.
He couldn’t hear you over the loud club music, but he knew. He pulled you even closer and whispered low in your ear. “You will stay by me all night. The second shit hits the fan, I want you out of here.”
You nodded, trying to calm yourself, telling yourself that Javi was there and nothing bad was going to happen to you. Picking up your drink, you finished it and Viv ordered both of you another. Javi kept his arm around you all night. Occasionally, he would dance with you, but you watched his eyes survey the room, looking for his target. When you walked back to the bar, he was close behind you. “Hermosa,” he chuckled, looking down at you, “another one?”
You gave him a sloppy grin. “It’s helping with my nerves, so yeah.” You took a drink.
He leaned against the bar next to you. You could see him relax a little, which he couldn’t help but do when he was with you. You started to see the boyish charm come out before his eyes raked over your body. His gaze turned hungry as it stopped at the deep v in the front that allowed him to peer almost clear down your dress. He raised his eyebrow devilishly and grinned. “You sure you don’t want to leave now?” he growled.
“Ojos arriba, Peña,” you ordered, and he begrudgingly obeyed. “I’may be a little tipsy,” you slurred, and then immediately forgot the point you were trying to make.
He chuckled. “A little?”
Viv came up behind you and slung her arm around your shoulder. “There you are!” she said loudly in your ear.
He tensed and went back to surveying the room. She planted a sloppy kiss on your cheek and hugged you. “I thought you two left.” She looked at Javi and then leaned in to loudly whisper, “Not that I wouldn’t blame you.”
Javi hid his grin well but rolled his eyes. “Where’s Carlos?” he asked.
She looked behind her and saw him standing next to Juan. Mona approached them with something in her hand, and you saw Javi tense even more. His hand was suddenly on his radio. Javi watched Carlos take the bag from her and walk over to them with it. He gave him a look, glancing at Viv and you before looking back at Javi. “You can get some of this over there,” he nodded towards a small secluded booth near the bathrooms. 
Javi grabbed the bag from him and nodded. “I think it’s time we find another club,” he added.
Carlos motioned for Juan to get the others. Viv, oblivious to what transpired, protested the whole time as he dragged her out of the front door. Javi pulled you close to him and grabbed his radio. “Él está aquí.”
“Copy,” Steve and Carrillo replied. 
“Movámonos,” Carrillo added.
Javi held on to you with a tight grip as he calmly walked towards the entrance as his men got into position. You saw Carlos taking Viv and the rest of the crew farther down the block to a different club as Javi dragged you over to the Jeep Steve had been sitting in across the street. When he saw the two of you, he shook his head and laughed. Javi opened the back door for you to slide into. You laid down across the back seat, sleepy from the drinks in your system. Javi grabbed his tactical vest from the floor and slid it on. God, how you loved him in that vest. You weren’t sure what it was, maybe it was the way it clung to his body. He saw you bite your lip as you gazed ravenously at him. “Not now, Hermosa,” he replied calmly.
You both heard Steve stifle a gag. Javi rolled his eyes. “Keep her in the car,” he ordered.
“Where the hell are you going?”
Javi glared at him. “I’m back-up.”
“Our orders were to stay behind and let Search Bloc do their thing,” Steve argued.
“I know,” he mumbled, “but Carrillo asked for the support. So, keep her here. I’ll be right back.”
The alcohol started rushing to your head. You wanted to sit up and argue with him, force him to stay, but you knew that you were now useless in that situation. You closed your eyes, feeling the Jeep start to spin. If you stayed calm, maybe, just maybe you wouldn’t throw up. You focused on your breathing as you laid on your side with your eyes closed. You heard shots coming from the area, and you jumped at each one, praying Javi wasn’t on the receiving end. Hours seemed to have passed until Javi rejoined you back in the Jeep. “They got the fucker,” he said, tossing his vest behind his seat on the floor. 
You felt his hand rest on your head. “Are you okay, Hermosa?”
You glanced up at him with a drunken smile. “Si, mi amor.”
A grin crept across his face as he kissed your temple before climbing into the front seat. You could hear them talking about the mission, but you were in and out of a very drowsy stage as you fought off sleep. Steve mumbled something about Carrillo, and Javi told him to shut up. Soon, you had fallen asleep and didn’t wake again until you felt a hand brush the hair off your cheek. “Time to wake up,” he chuckled. Steve had already gotten out of the car, leaving the two of you alone.
You groaned and turned over. “Hermosa,” Javi said, “I’m not carrying you to bed.”
You smiled and now became determined to stay asleep so he had to carry you. You could tell he was standing there watching you sleep peacefully in the backseat. “I will leave you out here.”
No, he won’t. You thought. 
Just as predictable as ever, you felt arms around you, pulling you out of the Jeep and holding you against his chest. You tossed your arms around his neck and rested your head against him, breathing in the intoxicating scent that was Javier Peña. You could hear his heart beating fast as his hands gently cradled you. He walked up the stairs to the apartment complex door; he’d taken you back to his apartment, which you were grateful for. His bed was ten times more comfortable than yours. “If I didn’t love you so much,” he muttered as he slid past Steve, who had been waiting with the door open, “I would have left your ass in the Jeep.”
You smiled and looked up into his eyes. “You have the most beautiful eyes, mi amor,” you murmured against his lips.
He stopped just on the other side of the door and grinned at you. Steve gagged again and moved past the two of you. “Unless you want me to drop you,” Javi added, “you’ll let me at least make it to my apartment.”
You gave him a soft kiss and then rested your head on his shoulder. He held you tight as he tried to unlock his apartment door. Somehow, he managed. He carried you into the apartment and gently set you on his bed. He slid your heels off and helped you out of your dress before you curled up in his soft sheets. He soon joined you, after giving you some Tylenol and a glass of water. You felt his arms pull you against his bare chest, and soon you felt safe and comfortable. “Thank you,” you mumbled.
He kissed the back of your neck. “For what?” he whispered.
You rolled over to look at him, resting your hand on his cheek. “I’ve never had someone who cared about me as much as you do.”
He sighed and gently leaned down to kiss you again, this time more passionately. “I love you, Hermosa,” he breathed against your lips, “and I’d do anything for you. Even carry your drunk ass to bed.”
You chuckled and rolled back over so he could hold you close. You felt safe in his arms, loved even. Even after the two years you’d spent together, you still had a hard time believing that he loved you. Especially on days when you would ignore his warnings and get yourself into situations like you did tonight. You chuckled to yourself as you pictured his initial reaction. He was your favorite grumpy DEA agent, and you wouldn’t trade him for anything in the whole world. “What’s so funny?” he mumbled, half asleep.
You ran your hand over his. “You still love me even though I drive you crazy.”
He lovingly squeezed her. “More like completely insane, on a good day.”
You moved against him to get more comfortable, finally feeling at home in his bed. It had been a while since you thought about the other women that had the opportunity to lay in this exact spot. It used to bother you when you thought about the amount, but now you knew he was completely wrapped around your finger. He would do anything for you, and you for him. Somehow you found each other when you both needed it the most, and neither of you wanted to risk ever losing what you had. 
Translations
No tienes oportunidad - You don’t have a chance.
Espera mi señal. Tenemos un pequeño problema. - Wait for my signal. We have a small problem.
¿Qué pasa? - What happened?
Nada. Espera. - Nothing. Wait.
Estoy en el club y lo buscaré. - I’m in the club and I’ll look for him.
Esperaremos tu señal. - We will wait for you signal.
Ojos arriba. - Eyes up.
Él está aquí. - He’s here.
Movámonos. - Let’s move.
Taglist
@larakasser @magneticbucky @wickedfrsgrl @wander-lustbabe @pedropascalownsmyheart @frietiemeloen @fioccodineveautunnale @mrscrain-x7 ​ @alldatalost ​ @carringtonhill @enamoured-x @readsalot73​
149 notes · View notes
gt-adventures · 4 years ago
Text
Like A Good Neighbor (sfw GT story!)
A tale of the Mystic Woods
Featuring the “Evil” Giant Wizard Yonah HaEsh and Myran the Dwarf Witch and many other fun characters!
A story about bad first impressions and the start of new friendships! Lots of GT, and a cute little adventure at a magical farmer’s market!
Warnings: intense fearplay and mild harm involving an intimidation tactic with biting (no loss of limbs!). Yonah is a Fee Fi Fo Fum kind of “Evil” giant but it’s all an act. He’s just very convincing. And in this story he is still new to his Evil job. Also casual mentions of man-eating monsters/giants (no scenes).
For more detailed warnings go to THIS POST
---
“Did you hear?”
“Have you been told?”
“A new resident!”
“I haven’t checked it out myself! But Ms Zukkar told me-”
“A wizard!”
“Didn’t there used to be an old sorcerer there?”
“-new guy’s a witch!”
“So, hear about that new giant!”
“A giant wouldn’t fit in that tower! And wizards is all human!”
“A criminal, on the run they say”
“Maybe a magician? They like towers sometimes!”
“His Majesty wouldn’t hire a criminal!”
“-supposed to be evil?”
There were so many rumors being flung around that the dwarf witch Myran Gamadin decided to see for themselves and set out to investigate. Undoubtedly there was a new resident. The story was that he was a Mage, and a criminal, but also just expelled from The Academy of Wizardry. And a giant? That was strange, the old tower was much too small for a giant! Even if it was magic it was only 10ft taller than your average giant in the first place. However… they did hear about the trial of a giant recently… stuff that happened in the civilized court didn’t really concern those in the Woods.
“Why would you go to see a villain? You’re not evil!”
The World’s Largest™ Maine Coon cat trotted alongside the handsome young dwarf, looking more like an oddly fluffy pony than a cat.
“It’s important to know your neighbors! Even the evil ones!”
Siv flicked his tail up into his witch’s face.
“And he’s got to be just a young man! So young and the expectations on evil mages is so high! He will appreciate a friendly face!” Myran had done the math. If this Mage hadn’t even graduated from The Academy, he was at most 23. Unless he started his education late. But they doubted this.
“Why are we walking! You have your broom!” the cat complained.
“That’s for the tower, Siv. It’s one of those designed by assholes who think it’s clever to have the only entrance be the window at the top.”
“Hrfff,” said Siv.
“Do you think he will appreciate the house-warming gift? I didn’t really spend much time on it…”
“Fresh fish would be better.”
“Maybe if he were a cat. This is for a Mage.”
“Clippings of magical plants? Maybe for another witch. This is someone who was studying Wizardry.”
“Wizards use magical plants too!”
“Yeah, they buy them from witches!”
As the pair stepped out of the trees, they froze.
“I think he’ll like the gift,” Siv admitted as he And Myran stood in awe at the largest magical garden either of them had ever seen.
It wasn’t even finished yet! Plots of earth were freshly turned, and piles of wood, half built into beds that lay in patterns across the clearing. And massively spread apart. At least 3 meters between plots. And the finished ones. Well. They already had some amazing specimens. Even if they were just sprouting. Myran noticed the Twisted WyrmFern and harpy’s breath; delicate, but common magical plants that were being used to test out the soil. It was working great.
The garden did make Myran worry a bit.
Maybe this wasn’t a wizard at all! It could be a witch. And he could be very evil indeed. Even evil witches treated their gardens with the utmost care and attention.
But they had come this far. And the tower that looked over the garden was calling to them. Well. Not really. The green-black thorny vines screamed “STAY AWAY!” But when one had a flying broomstick, one didn’t need to heed such warnings.
Flipping their broom around like a baton, they sat side saddle and Siv hopped on the end, somehow managing to balance his prodigious fluff. They took off. And flew into the window.
“WOAAAHHH!”
It was like hitting an unexpected and large wave on a boogie board, but a magical one that flowed through the body! And Myran had never been to the ocean, so it made their brain swim.
The room, which from the outside looked normal, was anything but. The rumors of this being a giant were not just rumors.
This place was HUGE!
And yet, it was much too small.
Growing up, Myran had visited some giant villages with their family. They hadn’t been THAT much smaller then, but the houses and items in the village were definitely much larger. While giant mages certainly existed, they had their own traditions and made their own supplies.
This looked exactly like the workshop for a young wizard, with additions for the wizard being a giant. It was wild to see some of the common arcane tools at such an immense scale.
Flying over, Myran saw that the resident Mage had an ancient book under a magnifying glass, and had been translating it, with notes and commentary. Spell equations and diagrams were additionally copied in a dedicated smaller notebook.
While it was surely a fascinating read, they could tell at a glance the notes were somewhere in the middle of an involved spell, and they didn’t want to be the reason the Mage lost his place. The workbench had plenty of other diverting materials.
Siv had no interest in such things and curled up against the base of the magnifying glass. The sun hit the metal through the window, making it quite warm.
Myran put their broom down and explored the desk. There were several magical tombs! Rare ones! They flipped through and saw fresh handwritten notes tucked inside. Smart, this mage did not want to tarnish the original pages. There was also an open notebook and a few spell components laid out.
They stepped carefully back onto the notebook to get a better idea of what this wizard was up to. The notebook was written in giant, which Myran wasn’t fluent in but got the gist of. So this was indeed a giant wizard. Fascinating.
That’s what they were thinking until...
FEE FI FO FUM!
Myran nearly jumped out of their boots.
No longer fascinating. Very bad. Very dangerous! They’d heard stories that quoted these lines, classic, even amusing. However, hearing them bellowed by an actual giant nearly stopped their heart. These words were so loud and so immediately panic-inducing, especially when accompanied by thundering footsteps.
I SMELL THE BLOOD OF THE-
There was a pause and maybe a stutter
DWARVEN KIND!
The trap door off center in the room burst open and a giant with a mane of black hair, a trimmed goatee, and a wizard’s hat, climbed out. He was smiling, snarling, showing off impressive fangs.
USELESS TO FLEE, USELESS TO FIGHT, FOR YOU WILL BE MY MEAL TONIGHT!
Eat them!? Oh No. Myran scrambled to their feet as the giant advanced.
Siv had gone catatonic, or nearly, and fled behind the mirror. But Myran just stood there. The next thing they knew they were in the giant's fist.
Never had Myran imagined themselves in this predicament. Witches, as far as they knew, were not prone to being eaten by giants! Giants ate thieves, slayers, adventurers! Though... giants were known to occasionally eat random people that happened to be especially rude to them as they went about their business.
Myran had not been rude! They just hadn’t had a chance to be polite! This giant had no business eating them.
Not that any of this was actually going through Myran’s mind. Oh no. Myran’s thoughts were preoccupied with panicking about their impending doom!
They tried to get themselves free of the giant’s grip but like the giant said, it was useless to fight. Then the giant LICKED THEM IN THE FACE. Ugh it was so gross!! They sputtered.
Yonah sighed and pulled the dwarf away from his face just a bit. “It is rather disappointing, dwarves don’t taste nearly as good as most other smallfolk, but I’m not complaining”
He briefly loosened his grip and Myran took their chance to get an arm free. Big mistake. The giant hissed and caught the arm between his fangs!
YEOWCH!
Their arm was free but the giant still held them. Myran was barely paying attention, for the screams of the giant rattling their brain and the giants grip had intensified making it hard to breath.
Something bit his other hand and he waved it violently. Whatever it was released and smacked into the wall that the desk was up against. And crumpled into a motionless pile. Curious and momentarily forgetting his foe he investigated.
A cat!? And still alive but unconscious. Why had a cat attacked him? Then he saw the abandoned broom next to his notebook. And his stomach twisted.
“You’re— not a thief!” Technically he was a villain to anyone, he wasn’t restricted to adventurers. He was still figuring out what kind of villain he wanted to be. But now was not really the time for self exploration.
“I’m a witch!” He heard them squeak.
“A witch? Invading the lair of a wizard? Are you stupid!” He poked at their face. They didn’t like that.
“Let me go!”
The witch was shaking and wheezing, glancing at him with wide fearful eyes. Yonah loosened his grip to allow them to breathe properly.
“If you’re a witch then what the fuck were you doing in my tower?” Yonah demanded.
The witch was still in shock but recovered enough to speak. “I’m… Myran! I wanted to introduce myself!”
“A likely story! Why would anyone want to introduce themselves to me?” Yonah wasn’t really in the mood for conversation, but figured he could use the practice at evil banter.
“You’re… new to the forest” they coughed.
“What’s it to you?”
“I’m your neighbor!” they said,
Yonah narrowed his eyes, “The forest is constantly moving, no such thing as neighbors.”
“I figured I’d try to be friendly!” they continued as if he hadn’t replied. “Everyone was talking about the new mage in the tower, but no one had any definitive stories.”
Another mistake. The giant snarled.
“You are a fool then! I don’t want any friends!” He hesitated briefly as he said it, not sure of the truth, but recovered fast. “But I don’t want you spreading rumors about my mercy either…” he picked them back up. Gripping them hard and getting their right arm between his teeth. He didn’t bite their arm off, but broke the skin with a fang and pinched their hand. They yelled.
“Stop! Stop! I won't tell! I won’t tell!”
He dropped them and they sat, crying, holding their bleeding arm and hand which was turning a plum purple. The cat instantly got up and ran to his witch. Alternating between purring and hissing.
“Good” he hissed steam in their face, scalding the skin red, as his eyes glowed a bright orange. “Now get the fuck out before I decide to actually eat youl!” He flicked the broom at them “And if you ever show your face around here again, I will”
Finally, they listened to him. They got onto the broom along with their cat and with a burst of magic kicked into the air and fled out the window. Yonah watched until they disappeared, then sat down. His hair hadn’t been smoking before but it was now. Additionally, his eyes still glowed.
His first visitor in months wasn't an adventurer and he’d traumatized them without a second thought! Stupid stupid! Stupid!
Maybe this was his destiny. For years he’d trained himself to be restrained. Keep his anger in check, Keep his half giant identity a secret and become a wizard. But that had all gone to shit when he’d been discovered not as just a half giant but as a half fire witch. Chased out of the academy but captured by the authorities of Orr.
Forced to sign a contract with King Ben to become his new pet monster! So why not be a monster!?
But he still wanted friends… his friends from the academy weren’t allowed to visit him. His tower of magic and wonder was so empty. He put his elbows on his desk and buried his face in his hands.
~chink~ his elbow brushed against something.
He looked down and saw a broken clay pot, the soup spilling out and a seedling now helpless and exposed on the desk.
Quickly yonah dipped his fingers into a pouch at his side and licked off the powdered fungus before saying a spell. With a puff of smoke he stood on his desk, a mere 8ft tall, and he knelt down.
With his more appropriately sized hands he gathered the soil and with a wave of his hand and another mutter the pieces of the pot shook and flew back into their original places. The pot was… functionally repaired. The proper repair spell required materials to fuse the pieces properly. So it wouldn’t hold water but it could hold soil.
As he scooped it back in a piece of paper fell from the loose soil. Curious he dug it back out of the pot and cleaned it off enough to read:
“Welcome to the Mystical Woodlands new neighbor! This seedling is from my own garden. A special cultivation of Frozen Thyme.”
The moment he read it he was instantly planning where this would go in his garden. But… this gift. Did he deserve it? He’d terrorized the one who brought it. He chased them away!
With a thump he sat on his desk, looking around him, trying to imagine what this experience had been from the witch’s perspective. Tried to imagine what it would be like to have a snarling giant loom over you and snatch you up, when all you wanted to do was say hello...
He couldn’t accept this gift but he couldn’t just let the seedling wither and die. It didn’t deserve that. And thus, his brain rationalized a way for him to keep the gift. So now what?
Yonah’s brain was too full of rage to do any proper work, so he decided to take it out on the garden, which was still in a state of construction. He’d already torn up old dead pieces of the overgrown mess left behind by the predecessor. Now he was digging spots for flower beds and what would hopefully be an orchard. There was even a designated spot for herbs.
The reason this was slow going was he refused to use magic. For the most part. Thankfully, being giant made digging and construction easier. Now that he had the thyme, he prioritized the herb beds.  It was with a sour pride that he completed one as the sun started to go down.
A large wooden box that curved in a lovely arc close to the tower. The wood was specially imported from his The Blue Sky Mountain Giants Tribe in the Implausible Mountains, the smell of it reminding him of home. The frozen thyme seedling was given enough space to grow. He even gave it some friends that he knew would be compatible.
With his mind a little more at ease, he managed to get himself to sleep.
And awoke the next morning with an ache in his heart and a new plan in his brain.
For the first time since he arrived in this prison of a forest, he ventured beyond the boundaries of his clearing. Yonah knew he was allowed, a certain distance from his tower, to walk the forest. It had just seemed pointless. Not wanting to draw too much attention, he wore his gardening outfit: a pink plaid button up and light blue overalls. He had a straw hat that he recently wove to be a wizard hat, as well as his wizard staff. He couldn’t really leave that behind.
The trees in the forest were shorter than back home, but still very large. Thankfully he didn't have to duck so much to avoid branches. In his mind was a list of ingredients he needed to find. Foraging in the forest might seem like a fruitless endeavor, but when you have the keen nose of a giant, tracking down wildberries was a simple feat.
What a bounty! A huge patch of bramble with perfectly ripe berries. He didn’t need a giant’s amount and they would just get squashed if he tried to pick them at his normal size so once again he shrank down. He retrieved a basket from his hat and started to pick berries.
About ten minutes in, the bush began to shift! A section opened up and out ran a gnome with a garden spade. It smacked into his hand mid berry pick.
“Stop! Thief!”
SMACK SMACK!
Yonah was so startled he backed away and returned to his normal size, the basket of berries spilling over.
The gnome yelped.  “Giant!” They dropped the spade. “Don’t eat me! Take berries! Don’t eat me or family!”
There was something satisfying about the gnome’s fear and Yonah grinned, “While you would make for a nice little snack,” he said, “I’m not in the mood for gnome today.”
The gnome shook and took up the spade again, pointing it at him as if that would help. From inside the bushes, Yonah heard rustling, and smelled more gnomes. This must cover their burrow.
“Put that away, or I might change my mind!” Yonah growled, showing his fangs. The gnome complied, tossing it aside.
“But you are also in luck. I am not interested in being a berry thief. I have more honor than that. If you would permit me to buy some of your berries, at a discount for me not making a meal of you and your family, I will leave you in peace”
The gnome gulped and nodded, “Am… sure we can make a deal.”
“Pick up the ones I already picked, will you?” Yonah ordered.
The gnome scrambled. “You will need more?”
Yonah nodded. The gnome whistled. And a troupe of younger gnomes carefully came out of the bramble.
“Kind giant has offered to buy some berries. Exchange for not eating us!”
The kids looked nervous and their fear didn’t spark the same kind of joy as the adults. But Yonah had a reputation to build! And he had to admit, it was still a bit fun.
He watched as the gnomes gathered berries until the basket was full and the adult gnome put it down in front of where Yonah had sat down. He picked it up and took off his hat, dropping it in and noticed the gnome’s eyes get wide. Storage space items were not uncommon, but storage hats were tools of professional mages, not common folk.
“That all?” the gnome asked.
Yonah stroked his beard thoughtfully, “Yes. I think so.” He reached into this hat. While he didn’t have a lot of money, Ben had supplied him with funds should he need them, and he had distributed the rings between his various pocket spaces. He got out a large wooden dowel upon which hung many metal rings. Small ones and large ones. With a pair of tweezers, yonah removed a few silver rings and one gold ring and put them into his palm, placing it up in front of the gnome.
Who did not take it.
“Do not insult me by refusing my payment,” Yonah insisted but the gnome did not move.
“More than we charge normally… You wanted discount: berries, a silver a pound!”
Yonah blinked. He still wasn’t good with smallfolk money. When purchasing as a giant, you purchased such large amounts it always cost at least a gold.
“Oh? Er-” he didn’t want to actually exploit these gnomes. “I'm not taking it back! Take the money Or I’ll eat you!” his voice faltered and the gnomes looked a little confused, and a little more relaxed.
“Leave us alone then, yes?” The gnome reached out a hand. Yonah nodded. The gnome finally took the money, giving each of the kids a silver ring. Any fear the kids had was gone as soon as they studied their rings and looked at Yonah with excitement. It was hard not to let the warmth in his heart at their expressions show on his own face.
“Actually!” Yonah announced as the gnomes started to back away into their burrow.
The adult stopped and looked nervous again. Yonah huffed. “I’m not going to eat you, I never was. I just have a question.”
The gnome ushered the kids away, not trusting Yonah, before turning back to the giant. “And if don’t have a good answer, you won’t eat… right?”
With a sigh Yonah shook his head, “No. I won't.”
“Then ask.”
Yonah took a breath, “I am... looking to get some ingredients. I… lashed out at someone recently and I very much regret it, and want to make some amends. I have giant ones back home but… giant sized ingredients do not taste as strong as small ones. Do you know where, or who, I might be able to look for?”
The gnome smiles, “Yes! Mystical Market. Sell our berries there. Open today, also gnome holiday.” They gave Yonah the instructions on how to find the market.
“Thank you- er…” Yonah put a hand to his chest and bowed.
“Kalle” said Kalle.
“Yonah,” said Yonah. The gnome bowed as well, “Don’t be flaunting riches, mysterious half giant. Marketeers take advantage”
Riches!? He did not have endless funds. He would have to be more careful with his spending.
“I am also looking for… Er... Shit!” he exclaimed and was glad the kids were no longer outside, “I don't know their name. Dwarf witch.”
Kalle considered, “Know them. Likes almond cookies. Sorry. Market easier find than people. That all?”
From their tone of voice, Yonah knew the gnome desperately wanted to get back to their family. It was a holiday after all. Yonah stood up and nodded, leaving without subjecting them to any more conversation.
Almond cookies? That changed things. He had only made almond cookies once! He needed a little more help. However, he did not backtrack to the tower. He knew that if he went back, he would lose motivation. Locating the market was his current task.
Unfortunately, it took some luck. According to the gnome, it was a special place that one happened to come across, just by wanting to be there. The more familiar you were with it, the better chance there was of that happening. Yonah really really wanted to be there. So he gathered his will and set off in a random direction.
After an hour of walking yonah felt a weird tingle all over his arms and legs. Like his hair was standing on end and all pointing in the same direction. Had he entered some magical field? No matter, he was fairly immune to passive magic.
Then he took another step and a jolt of magic electricity surged through his body, causing him to freeze up. Before he could collapse, he felt as if a giant hook had caught around his middle. There was no physical hook, but it still yanked him back, pulling in through the forest.
Eventually it stopped and finally Yonah fell over, breathing shallowly as his heart raced. He rolled onto his back and stared up into the trees.
“What’s the big idea!?” Someone kicked him in the side and he sat up. “You’re blocking the way!”
An elf!
Yonah frowned. “You’re so bold for someone I could crush with a finger!” To tease the elf, he poked them in the chest.
“YEOWCH!”
For the second time that day, Yonah got bitten. This time, it was the elf who sank their fangs into his finger, letting go before Yonah pulled away.
“Don’t get sassy with me! Messing with smallfolk isn’t allowed in the market, you'll be banned!”
Yonah looked around “The market?”
He had assumed it was the Mystical Market because it was in the Mystical Woodlands. But now he realized that the name was rather accurate. An entire marketplace incorporated into the forest itself. Stalls and restaurants built into the trees, with carts parked in between.  The trees here were also… there was no other word for it: majestic. Larger and older and, compared to the forest he had been exploring before, more deliberate spacing. He couldn’t even see all of it. The forest stretched on for a while, and thus was obscured by the very trees that made up the shops.
There were even buildings in the branches so that ogres, trolls, and giants did not have to bend down to make transactions. He even spotted a few trolls. Amazing! Trolls (and ogres) were much more likely than giants to eat smallfolk. Giants mostly threatened unless the person in question did something really, really stupid.
And yet, there was a troll, large with brown fur and green spots, purchasing a roll of fabric from the elevated section of a gnome shop.
“Yes you idiot, the market! And my cart won't fit through any other path! Move your giant ass or I’ll get the guard to move it for you!”
His elation at having found the market was in conflict with his pride that was being so insulted by this little creature.
“Apologize for biting me, and I’ll consider it!”
The elf looked indignant, “You threatened to squash me! MAGEN!!” they yelled.
Thunderous footsteps were heard and Yonah turned as a proper, full blooded giant, made her way through the shoppers, somehow avoiding stepping on anyone. She was maybe 17, but full grown and taller than Yonah by at least ten feet. Her skin was a light greyish pink and her eyes were a dark red. She wore a lovely headpiece of woven flowers and vines to look like hair, which full giants do not have.
She knelt “This man bothering you?”
The elf nodded. Yonah threw his hands up, “Hey! I don’t mean any trouble!”
“He threatened to squash me!”
The giant glared at, Yonah who glared back.
“How large folk deal with smalls outside of the market is their own business,” she said. “But inside the market we do not even threaten to squash, or kick, or stomp, or eat!”
“I did not intend to and I did not know I was in the market! I have never been before!” Yonah stood up so that he was not at such an extreme height disadvantage. Magen was a rather short mountain giant, only 35ft tall.
She nodded, “I can believe that.” She stood up. “I would have remembered you for sure.” She sniffed and said in implausible Giant: “You are from the blue sky tribe?”
“Yes! I am.” he answered, also in Giant. “I just moved to the forest. I was looking for the market but… I must have… hit something magic. I sort of fell into here”.
The elf took the opportunity to weave their cart around the giants’ feet, disappearing into the market.
“Ah, the seller seems to no longer push this issue. My name is Magen.” she introduced, bowing.
“Yonah HaEsh,” Yonah answered in return.
“HaEsh! I know the name. Fire man who helped save the Implausible Mountains from the Society of Wizards!”
“That’s my dad,” Yonah said, a little embarrassed.
“Mom told me the story! How exciting!”
Yonah brushed himself off and glanced around, “So... What are the rules here, then?”
Magen shrugged, “Just don’t start fights, alright? All sales are final, so don't go making a fuss if you haggled wrong or think you got cheated unless you believe your items are defective. There are ways to deal with fraudulent goods, but we cannot risk collateral damage.”
“Does that happen often?” Yonah asked, “I only mean to buy food, I can tell if that’s fresh”
“Oh, you have a giant’s nose then. Good. It does not happen often. Makes my job easier. And I usually manage to break up confrontations before they get out of hand.”
Knowing he could likely sniff out the stalls he needed, Yonah asked if Magen could show him around and help him find all the items on his list. She happily agreed. He had to walk behind her as there wasn’t room for two giants to be side by side.
As she carefully led him, she took glances back and down Yonah who was getting a little nervous. It had been a while since he encountered other giants. He was watching his feet to make sure he didn’t hurt anyone, and he was stopping constantly to look into the shops and stalls and carts.
“What is it like, being half giant?” Magen asked, who somehow managed to walk without looking at her feet very often at all. Maybe Yonah was being too careful and people here knew to stay out of the way of large folk's feet… Still, he didn't want to take chances.
“Er… I have hair, I guess?” he said.
“I was wondering if that was natural or a wig.” Magen brushed the vines spilling from her head.
“But mostly, things were just a bit inconveniently large for me. I still managed.” Then he countered. “What’s it like being a guard in the market?”
“The shopkeepers pool money to have me stand around, mostly. Smallfolk behave when an angry giant is within earshot.” She grinned with all her fangs.
“I thought you said giants couldnt mess with smallfolk here?” Yonah inquired.
“You can’t. It’s my job to interfere,” Magen retorted. “I haven't hurt anyone… badly. I’ve only worked here for a year. But I know everyone and everyone knows me!”
They stopped at a stand selling nuts and Yonah purchased the almonds he needed. The seller seemed a bit disappointed that he bought so few.
“Shopping for someone small?” Magen asked.
“Er- yeah.” Yonah said. They both had to back between trees to let a trio of trolls go by. One was only 10 feet tall and barely came up to Yonah’s waist, but another was nearly 20 feet! They carried baskets and bags on their furry backs, and even had some tied to their tusks!
Before they continued, two elves leapt from the tree nearby and onto Yonah’s shoulders! He was about to brush them off when Magen stopped him.
“Don’t! They are just hitching rides!” At that, he spotted more elves on her head. “You need honey, yes? I know the best shop!”
He followed Magen around the market, which was much larger than he had realized. The elves had no qualms about leaping on and off him and other largefolk shoppers and eventually he ignored them. Magen even helped him avoid making a bad deal for oat flour, saying she couldn’t believe the nerve of the shopkeeper trying to take advantage of a new resident.
Before Yonah left, he wanted to properly thank Magen. “If there is anything I can do to show thanks. Perhaps er-” he looked around.
“You know, the juice stand behind that tree has new flavors I’ve wanted to try. How about you buy me a drink? You should get one too. It’s very refreshing!”
“They make them giant sized?” Yonah asked.
“Oh, they are made by ogres!” Magen replied, rounding the indicated tree.
Ogres, kin of trolls and even more dangerous due to their magical powers. Typically smaller than trolls, but that was not the way to tell them apart.
An entire family of ogres were operating a massive open storefront. Jugs hung from branches or were strapped to the trunks of trees and fruit swung in baskets. Behind the counter was an elaborate prep station operated by two large ogres. Around the entire display were platforms sticking out from the nearby trees. Smallfolk sat on stools enjoying drinks and food at an elevation that made it easy to be served by the ogres. Magen walked up to the counter, which was not at an ideal height for her but was easily manageable. She spoke to an ogre with straw colored fur, blue spots, and large horns.
“Edna! I’d like two passion fruit smoothies please! One giant sized and one…” She glanced back at Yonah. “Full Troll sized!” She stepped aside and pointed at Yonah. “He’s paying”
Edna nodded and passed on the order.
Yonah stepped forward. Bowing “Yonah HaEsh”. She bowed back, “Edna Baneclaw. That will be a gold bracelet for the giant and half for the full troll”
Yonah’s heart nearly stopped. A gold bracelet and a half !? He looked at Magen who flashed her fangs mischievously then back at Enda.
Edna smiled as well. “We don’t have enlarged passion fruit, not in high demand by largefolk.”
With another glare at Magen, Yonah fished into his hat. He didn’t have gold bracelets but he had rings. 10 silver to a gold. Rings to Rings. Bracelets to Bracelets… 10 gold rings to a silver bracelet… 10 silver bracelets to a gold ring. That’s 100 gold rings to a gold bracelet (he had really overpaid the gnomes for the berries... A holiday gift he supposed), but this was not money to spend on frivolous fruit drinks!
Too late, however. The drinks were ready, and he carefully removed golden rings from silver bracelets. 50 gold rings and 10 silver bracelets exchanged for two smoothies. They came in wooden cups with bamboo straws.
This better be fucking worth it. Yonah took a sip.
His eyes widened as the cool icy tart concoction hit his taste buds and he took a long drink. Finally, he looked at Magen and then Edna. “This is incredible!” he exclaimed. Magen grinned and sipped hers as well. “Yeah. Too bad we’re the last two to have some for at least a month!”
“What do you mean?”
“That took all the passion fruit we had,” Edna informed. “Won't get more for a while”
“Worth it! Suck it smallfolk!” Magen teased the people on the platforms, a few looked a bit annoyed, but most didn't seem to care. She didn't seem to care either.
“Well it was nice meeting you, Yonah. I hope to see you again. Oh, and by the way, you can return your mug to the ogres for a silver bracelet, even if you take it home today!”
Yonah glanced at his drink. “Oh! Thanks for letting me know. But where are you going?”
Magen sipped at her smoothie loudly before answering. “This was my break, silly, I need to go back on proper duty now, and you have all your things.” Magen held out her free hand and Yonah shook it, bidding her goodbye. It was getting late in the day now and he wanted to get to work on the almond cookies.
Wait… which way was back to the tower? How could he be so stupid wandering off like this!? His mom taught him better than that. Forest ranger rule number 1: DON’T GET LOST. ...okay, so that wasn’t really a rule. It was supposed to imply that you paid attention to where you were going so you could get back. This was not so easy in the Mystic Woods.
The moment he had walked far enough away from the market, he turned forward and then back, and it was already gone. He had nowhere to go but forward.
It was to his great surprise that only a minute later, he exited the dense trees and found himself in the clearing. The tower was on the opposite side. While he was elated to have made it back safely before dark, there was a distinct absence of any gladness to be home. This was not his home, after all. It was his prison.
Yonah HaEsh climbed up the tower and back into his prison. He took off his hat and sat down at his desk in the workshop, staring into the reflection on the large, ornate mirror that rested upon it.
To do this right, he needed help. Professional help. So he activated his mirror. Or at least… tried. He stared at his own reflection, then spoke. “Mirror Mirror on the desk,” he faltered, “Could you please connect me to Shoshana at the academy?”
The mirror snorted. “You think politeness will work after all this time? I don’t make exceptions. This is why your friends think you’ve forgotten about them! Put in the effort! Ask me properly or don't at all.”
“They’ve called me!!” Yonah insisted, but the mirror said nothing in response. Just like he would do when he got calls from his friends. Yonah growled and snorted back at the mirror, fogging it up. “Mirror Mirror, oh magical vanity, I wish to call Shoshana, at the wizard academy”
There was a whistle from the mirror. “Now that’s how you do it!” it praised. The fog cleared and for a brief moment, he saw his own face again before the reflective surface turned grey. Another moment and the face of his friend Shoshana emerged.
“Yonah!!!” she exclaimed. “You called! I cannot believe it!”
Yonah’s face turned a bit red. “I’ve… been distracted.”
Shoshana waved her hand, stopping any further excuses. “You’ve been through so much! I was worried! Since we graduated, you haven't called at all!”
/I never called before either... / Yonah thought. /It was always you.../ When Grand Master Sean reinstated him as a wizardling student, his friends would call regularly to work on homework and their theses, as he wasn’t allowed to actually attend the school in person. And while he attended the graduation…
That wasn’t a happy memory at all and he didn’t want to think about how he sat behind all the students in the amphitheater in magic chains looking more like a beast one of the adventuring tract students had wrangled for their final than a student.
“I need a recipe!” he said.
Shoshana raised her brows “That’s it!? First call in over a month, and it’s to get a recipe! You don’t want to catch up at all?!” Yonah’s eyes flickered and Shoshana backed off. “Alright, I can see you’re not in the mood. But please, we’re all missing you so much. We’d assumed you embraced the evil hermit wizard life.”
“I… haven’t meant to. But it’s surprisingly easy,” he admitted, grinning awkwardly. “I’d rather not go full hermit, of course.”
“Well, then dont go a month without calling your friends!” Shoshana chided. “Or make some new friends! The forest is full of interesting people, right?”
Yonah looked away, but his eyes were probably glowing orange now.
“This… is for that.”
“Oh!” Shoshana exclaimed, “I should have figured! Of course, I will give you whatever recipe you’d like.”
Yonah got out his ingredients to show Shoshana and explained what he wanted to bake. She nodded and made some suggestions for ingredients and spices to really make these cookies great. He did not have all the supplies she suggested, which led to some back-and-forth as Shoshana pointed out some substitutions for what Yonah bought or already had in his tower.
“Got that all down?” she asked, as she watched Yonah scribble out the final lines to the recipe.
“Yes!” Yonah exhaled in relief. “Thank you so much, Shosh!”
“Next time, we will catch up properly, but I had fun designing this recipe!” Shoshana chirped. “What a challenge. I wish you had called first, before just buying random ingredients.”
“I was already in the forest, Shosh.”
“I know, I know.” Shoshana blew Yonah a kiss and the mirror flickered back to his reflection.
It was time to bake! Which he did after shrinking down.
By the time he was done baking his jam print almond cookies, it was past midnight. He needed sleep and didn't think finding the witch at night was a particularly wise idea, especially since he was getting tired. That meant he was extra likely to be grumpy and irritable. So he placed the cookies in a special cooling rack to keep them magically fresh, then went to bed.
It was right after breakfast that Yonah HaEsh left the tower and, for the second time, entered the forest.
Once again, he had no direction, not that one could in the Mystic Woods. It wasn't even possible to have a map unless it was incredibly magical. Still, he was determined and willing to wander the forest for days if he must! But he’d do so at his full size, which would allow him to cover more ground.
That’s… That’s a witch’s hut! He hoped it was the correct one. It was more of a mound than a hut, with one side covered in rocks and moss and the other a more sheer side with windows, plus a flatter side with a door.
As he approached, a garden came into view and he heard a yelp before watching a small figure dart into the hut and close the curtains. The door opened briefly and a hand hung a sign that read “NO SOLICITORS”
That was the evil giant! Why was he here!? Why did the forest let him find the hut!? Was he here to eat them?! To finish the job!? Could they take on a giant fire witch?! Myran was a damn skilled witch, and at least 15 years the giant’s senior by their estimate, but they were quaking in their boots.
A knock sounded at their door. It didn’t sound forceful enough to be a giant.  Siv was in front of them, hissing at the door. Thinking it better to be safe, they peeked out the window, then ran to open the door. Just a crack.
Red faced and holding a basket was… the giant. Only he wasn’t giant. Not exactly. He now stood at about twice Myran’s height. A little less actually. Right. Wizard. Giant wizard.
“May I come in?”
“Depends… what’s in the basket?” They narrowed their eyes. “I don’t want any nasty surprises.”
The wizard’s face got redder as he removed the cover. They opened the door and stood aside. They took the basket with their right hand… Yonah hesitated. Their arm had a massive scar from shoulder to elbow, but the hand was unbroken. The Dwarf noticed and gave him a hard look as he crouched low to get through the dwarf sized door, Siv still hissing at him in warning.
Myran put the basket on the kitchen table and motioned to the couch. “Please, sit.” Yonah did. The couch was small for him but it took his weight. “I’m going to be honest.” Myran leaned against the kitchen table and crossed their arms. “This is quite the unexpected visit.”
They leaned against the kitchen table and crossed their arms.
“Oh?” Yonah said, of course it made sense, he threatened them, bitten them, chased them out, why would he then try to find them again.
“You bit me! You broke my hand! And You said if you saw me again you would eat me!”
/Ohhhh/
Yonah’s breath caught before managing to say “I did… didn’t I.” He looked down at his feet.
They sighed.
“Yep. Though eating me at your current size would be an impressive feat. So- What the fuck are you doing here? Besides bringing me cookies to fatten me up.”
“I’m not-!” He looked back up to defend himself and saw their cheeky grin. “I didn’t come here to eat you…” they raised an eyebrow in sarcastic disbelief.
“I want to apologize. For chasing you away like that. I was so angry. I still am, though mostly at myself. I shouldn't have hurt you, you weren't an adventurer. It wasn’t right.” He was almost crying. Dammit, he’d gone nearly a month without crying!
The witch raised both eyebrows now, genuinely curious as to the workings of this monster’s thoughts.  “Youre sorry for chasing me away!? You threatened to eat me!”
“It’s my job! It’s my job to terrorize people, Especially those who enter my tower unannounced. It’s part of my job! And… and I like it!” He startled himself with that statement. He liked his job? He didn’t even want this job!! He was forcefully employed by the King under threat of more conventional imprisonment! Being evil had never been his plan and he didn’t want that. Didn’t he?
The witch didn’t look completely satisfied with this answer. But they didn’t get to inquire further as Yonah’s curiosity got the better of him.
“Er- your hand…”
Myran smiled “It was rather mangled by your jaws yesterday. Luckily, I am a very good healer, and well-known in this forest. If you had killed me, you would have had a lot of angry forest residents after your head.” Myran began preparing a pot of tea as Yonah Processed that statement.  “You’re a lucky giant aren’t you?”
“What?” Yonah voiced. “For not killing you and putting a target on my back?”
“Yes, exactly. And that was curious. It is rare that evil giants are merciful.”
Yonah looked away, “I’ve only been evil for a few months. I… you’re the third person I've faced as my er… villainous self. And I haven’t… I dont plan on... eating anyone.”
That surprised Myran. “I guess I do not know the frequency that giants normally encounter adventurers…”
“You said it yourself, Evil Giants eat people…” Yonah pointed out, “But it comes with a cost… I am worried… even if I don't... It’s only a matter of time before slayers come after me.”
“Most evil giants kill their victims. Right?” they asked more directly.
Yonah shrugged “I met another one once. Said it depended on his mood.”
“Fascinating… though if you keep up your merciful streak, perhaps you are less likely to attract slayers?”
“Perhaps…” Yonah had not considered that. He just felt he wasn’t ready to kill anyone yet, but maybe there were other perks than just his own conscience to continue to let his victims go.
“Cracked some sort of code then? Getting to be a villain without attracting too much attention?” Then they added “Not that this would stop all slayers. I expect you would kill a slayer?”
Yonah wasn’t really listening to Myran any longer. There were other things on his mind. Things he had spent the entire walk over here mulling over, and he had to voice them sooner rather than later.
As tears welled in his eyes he couldn’t look at Myran any longer. He closed his eyes and turned his face away.
“I know I said I didn’t want any friends. But I do! I need them. And I know I can’t be your friend. You came to me and I fucked it up. But I beseech you to not tell everyone else in the forest to avoid me. I already went to the mystical market and-“
“You… how did you find out that I liked almonds!”
Yonah looked up. They weren’t looking at him but reaching into the basket for another cookie. They munched on it thoughtfully, not a crumb falling into their beard.  The tea was ready and Myran poured it with magic, leaving their hands free to hold more cookies.  They walked over to Yonah, the tea cups floating with. He took the larger one out of mid air. It was very hot! And he drank. It was… It tasted like tea he’d had at home. His village had alway gotten various teas from the dwarves. New tears came to his eyes.
“You alright?” Myran asked, offering a handkerchief. “You’re a very emotional evil giant.”
Yonah took it and dried his eyes. “The tea is… really good.” That wasn’t the real reason but right now he couldn’t process all of his emotions.
“It’s my grandma’s blend,” Myran said. “I’ve tried to replicate it using my garden, but you just can’t replicate those tunnel grown fungi.”
They dipped one of the cookies into the tea. From their expression, it wasn’t really a mistake but likely didn’t improve the experience. Still they munched thoughtfully.
“I’ll be your friend.”
Yonah’s jaw nearly hit the floor and he almost dropped his tea. It was a few seconds before he managed to pick his jaw back up. Were they serious? They walked over to him, placing their much smaller hand over one of his. Then they smiled most disarmingly.
“Just don’t eat me!”
Yonah smiled.
“I think I can manage that”
[FIN]
——
(You can imagine that Yonah got to hug Myran before he left, probably a little too tight but dwarves are tough!)
[THANKS FOR READING! PLEASE REBLOG/GIVE ME FEEDBACK!!! I CRAVE IT!]
Big thanks to my editors @j0hnnymouse and @vixen525
49 notes · View notes
thatgamefromthatad · 4 years ago
Text
Seen these ads? (Obey Me! Review)
Tumblr media
This is a visual novel/otome/gacha card RPG game with the same characters and themes as featured in the ads.
As stated in many of the ads this game centers around seven demon brother love interests (as well as some other potential love interests) although the game has a lot of plot elements other than just romance. Most of the ads that I’ve seen feature real art that appears in the game one way or another, and the ads tend to be focused more on the characters and theme in general rather than specific gameplay. Of the ads that do appear to show gameplay, most of the time it’s not really what you’ll see in the game but still follows fairly close to the actual game (for example, the “kiss, free, whip” ad on the top left doesn’t show real gameplay, but you can kiss or whip that character. But that specific art comes from a gacha card I believe and isn’t what you see when you do the kissing and whipping).
Tumblr media
A few notes before I get into the full review:
I’m a lesbian, so I’m definitely not the target audience for this game, but I always try to be objective and open-minded when playing any game I’m not the target audience for (other examples I’ve reviewed in the past are Moments, which was also primarily targeted toward women who are attracted to men, Immortal Taoists, which involved a genre I had never heard of before and really had no interest in, Time Princess, which also wasn’t my favorite genre but was still a great game, and various Genius Inc. visual novels, which are targeted more toward high-school age boys as far as I can tell).
Speaking of lesbians, this game weirdly censors the word “lesbians” but not any other LGBTQ+ terms (that don’t include the word “sexual”) as far as I can tell; I decided it was enough of a one-off thing that it wouldn’t factor a huge amount in my overall review of the game, but I think it’s still something to take note of and not let off the hook since it definitely shows bias and can be offensive to players.
This game is rated 12+ on the Apple App Store, and I was pretty harsh on Crush Crush for being rated that way because I thought it crossed the line with some of its sexually suggestive content. I kept that in mind while playing this one, and personally I don’t think it crossed the line in the same way, at least not from what I’ve played so far; although it does have sexually suggestive content (most often when interacting with the character Asmodeus, who is literally known in the game as the “Avatar of Lust”), it’s much more occasional through tidbits of dialog as opposed to in Crush Crush where it involved a whole section of the game and was more interactive in nature. I would definitely still cringe at the thought of a 12-year-old reading some of this dialog, but I think it fits fairly within the App Store descriptors of “Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content and Nudity” and “Infrequent/Mild Mature/Suggestive Themes.”
Tumblr media
Last note - there is a character in this game (Luke) who has the appearance and demeanor of a small child who you can interact with in a similar way to the other love interest characters, which concerned me for obvious reasons. I looked more into this, specifically reading into all of the different dialog options involving this character, and his responses never seem to be more than platonic, which is good. He still blushes when you give him gifts and stuff, which is kind of awkward, and it seems weird to throw a kid character into an otome game, but all considered I wouldn’t say the game is promoting anything inappropriate (unlike one of the Genius VNs that clearly involved relationships between an adult and minors).
Sorry I know that’s a lot of notes and disclaimers but I just wanted to that all out of the way as general concerns anyone might have trying this game or reading this review!
Without further ado, read my full review below:
***
***
***
(I’m trying a new color-coding system to help highlight some of the main points of my review if you don’t want to read my entire essay word-for-word lol. Pink is a positive aspect of the game, red is a negative aspect/criticism and purple is not necessarily positive or negative but just something I wanted to highlight.)
😈 Is the game actually fun? Yes! Just in terms of production value, this game is top notch: the art and character designs are very appealing, the transitions between characters’ poses and facial expressions during VN scenes are actually animated (which looks much smoother and more natural than switching between still images), the voice acting is great (although the VN scenes aren’t fully voice acted, some parts like phone calls are and the characters say different phrases during scenes and battles as well)(Note: all the voice acting is Japanese), and the music is FANTASTIC and perfectly sets the vibe throughout the game.
The best parts of this game in my opinion are the different personalities of the characters and the overall plot; although some of the characters’ personalities can be a bit one-note at times (for example, one character’s entire personality that I’ve seen so far is that he likes to eat and is always hungry), the characters each have their own charm and play off each other well. I found myself getting invested in each of the characters’ desires and goals throughout the story, even the characters I didn’t particularly like. The story is also chock full of humor which is always fun, and the whole world and backstory built around this game (the “Devildom” setting and the idea of an exchange student program with angels, humans and demons) are also unique and impressive.
Tumblr media
I really enjoyed the multiple modes of storytelling i.e. how the VN chapters are supplemented with text messages and phone calls from characters and an Instagram spoof with additional side stories to unlock. I know this isn’t a new thing in mobile games (even Gardenscapes and Homescapes do it to an extent lol) but add the compelling characters and overall production value on top and it’s a really enjoyable experience. Since the home screen of the game is set up like it’s your phone, with the different parts of the game represented as “apps,” the game kind of creates a feeling like you’re really living in this world with these characters where you can freely scroll through their Instagram feeds and check the messages you get from them on your own time. The shop where you can buy items and premium currency is called Akuzon (an Amazon spoof) and the place where all your gacha cards are is called “contacts,” which further adds to the immersive effect.
The “dating” part of the game is pretty cute although I haven’t gotten super far so I’m not sure of the full scope of the romantic interactions. From what I can tell, in addition to the dialog, blushy faces and bedroom eyes you get from characters when you give them gifts and touch different parts of their body (above the belt lol), when you raise your intimacy level with them you get additional phone calls and messages from them (I haven’t played a lot of otome games but I think that’s how a lot of them go). I wasn’t that invested in this part of the game but I think there’s some strategy that goes with using the right combination of gifts and touches to maximize intimacy boosts and get certain dialog, which adds a whole other aspect of gameplay in addition to the main game. I also noticed that occasionally your choices throughout the VN chapters will give you a small intimacy boost with a certain character; I kind of wish this was even more integrated since most of the time I felt like no matter what I chose it didn’t make any difference in my relationship with characters. Also, I don’t think there’s a way to “officially” date a specific character, it’s more about raising the intimacy level to earn more interactions but it doesn’t actually affect the main plot.
Tumblr media
As far as the main mode of progressing through the game, which is winning “dance battles” with teams from your gacha collection, this part of the game has its own positive qualities such as the cute chibi forms of the characters that appear on screen and the fact that some of the special attacks show a little anime clip of the character (of course it’s less exciting when you see the same clip every battle but I still thought it was a nice touch). I was a little disappointed that there wasn’t a rhythm aspect as the “dance battle” name would imply, and your main interaction during the battle itself is basically just tapping hearts that pop up and tapping the characters when their attacks are ready, but you also have the option to skip that whole interactive sequence and just get a result based on your team’s stats, so there’s not much to complain about there (especially since the battles are sort of a side note compared to the storytelling aspect of the game despite being the main element of RPG-based gameplay that allows you to progress). If you are interested in the RPG aspects, there’s plenty of that to work with (building teams, balancing attributes, managing resources/rewards to level up cards and progress through skill trees of sorts, all that good stuff) although you’re limited to an extent by how difficult it is to get a lot of gacha draws without paying real money. It’s even harder to be able to focus on both strategy and character relationships while playing for free when the same scarce currency is used for both gacha draws and gifts.
Tumblr media
👿 Is this a free game or a “free game”? Despite what I just said, I would still consider it a free game - you can gradually save up some of premium currency the game gives out through tasks in order to pay for more gacha draws and other items, and as far as I can tell you can access the main story and the other parts of the game without hitting a paywall. I only got to the fourth chapter so far though so don’t take this assessment as gospel. Like with a lot of other freemium games you might feel pressured to pay (especially when you run out of gifts to give your lover boys, which was the biggest downer for me, or if you’re obsessed with wanting to collect a lot of cards or get a specific card) but since you don’t actually need to pay to progress I still consider it free.
Tumblr media
There’s also an energy system where you hit a wall and have to wait if you run out, but I never ran out because of the huge amount of energy the game dumps on you when you first start, and it seems like there are a bunch of other ways to get extra energy as well. There also aren’t pop-up or watch-to-earn ads in this game that I saw.
💀 Features
Main visual novel scenes and storyline (the visual novel scenes come between dance battle stages and there are a few short side routes that branch off but still one main route as far as I can tell, I don’t think your dialog choices really make a different except for in how the characters react to you immediately afterward. Still the main storyline in itself is fun to follow and it’s fun to get different reactions out of the characters based on what you say)
Dance battles (I’m not fully knowledgeable about the minutia of the RPG system at play here but in general the outcome of the battle will depend on the level, rank and attributes of your cards compared against the difficulty and attributes of the stage you’re playing. There also “memory cards” that can be assigned to support your team and expendable temporary boosters called “glow sticks” that boost your stats for one battle. During the battle itself you tap hearts that appear to earn extra points and you can tap your characters when their power is charged up to “attack” your opponent and use special skills. There are guides online that go deeper into stats and strategies and such if you’re interested. Different stages have different rewards for completion and you can quick complete levels you’ve already beaten to mine resources you need)
Gacha mechanic and cards (the gacha area of this game is called “Nightmare” and there are a few different pools along with event pools each with their own odds and sets of cards you can get. For the default pools you get free draws periodically and I believe you get one free draw for each event pool IIRC. You also get a bunch of vouchers for draws when you first start the game which got me handful of SSRs and a couple URs to build a couple of solid teams right off the bat. In addition to drawing directly from gacha pools you can get some cards by collecting card pieces as rewards from stages and events until you have enough to get the actual card. Each card has its own set of stats/attributes, can be leveled up and has a skill tree of sorts that can be progressed through with resources mined through beating stages, although it’s more of an attribute tree than a skill tree since most of the branches just add points onto one of your card’s attributes. Some cards, the rarer ones, have special skills that can be used in battle)
Tumblr media
One-on-one characters interactions and intimacy i.e. the “dating” part (there are two ways this occurs: 1) you can set a specific character to your home screen that allows you to enter into an interaction with them, with a refresh period in between interactions 2) the main way, which is through “surprise guests” after dance battles. These surprise guests show up frequently but not always, and they’re always one of the three team members you used in battle, selected randomly. For each one-on-one interaction you can do three actions - either give a gift, touch the character or ignore the character. Sometimes the character will also offer you a high five which counts as an action if you oblige. Different characters have different favorite gifts and touching different parts of the body can get a different reaction depending on the character and your level of intimacy I believe. Your intimacy level with a character increases depending on the combination of actions you perform, and sometimes the character also gives you gifts back like more energy or resources. There are guides for this online as well)
Text messages and phone calls (text messages are the main mode of storytelling outside of the main VN scenes - you get messages from characters or multiple characters in group chats that you respond to with preset messages or stickers similar to how you make choices during the VN parts. Some of the text messages correspond with the main plot as you progress, ex. A character texts you to be in a certain place at a certain time and next VN scene is of you two meeting at that place. I think other text messages also come up when you reach certain intimacy levels with characters. There are certain group messages that you don’t respond to where you’re basically spying on a group chat among characters and just get to see what everyone’s saying. In addition to written messages and emoji stickers characters will also sometimes send pictures. Phone calls are fully voice-acted dialog you have with another character and they seem to pop up when you reach certain intimacy levels - I’ve only gotten ones so far with the two characters I have the highest intimacy with)
Instagram spoof/“Devilgram” (Devilgram is an in-game photo sharing social media app similar to Instagram and the photos on there correspond to gacha cards. When you acquire the gacha card that corresponds to a Devilgram post you unlock a side story, but you also need keys to unlock further scenes from that story, which can be gradually earned through completing tasks and such)
Tumblr media
To Do tasks (completing tasks on your To Do is the main way to earn premium currency in the game along with other rewards and resources. There are daily tasks, overall tasks and tasks specific to each character. Examples of tasks are completing a certain stage or number of stages, beating a stage using a team that includes a certain character or reaching a certain intimacy level with a character. There are also beginner missions when you start the game that I think stay available until you complete all of them)
Events (there are sometimes side story events called “pop quizzes” and gacha events that are available for a limited time, or sometimes an event has both a corresponding pop quiz and gacha pool. The pop quizzes are separate chapters with their own dance battles and VN scenes, and the battles will come with reward points that you can spend on different prizes. Sometimes there are unique cards you can only get from an event. Other minor types of events include log-in bonus events and events where you can get special types of gifts for your love interests. There’s also a feature where you can “time-travel” back to old events at some cost but I haven’t explored this much)
Tumblr media
Jobs (you can assign characters to passively complete jobs that earn you a small amount of non-premium currency over time and also increases your intimacy with the assigned characters by a small amount)
Customization (you can unlock avatars of different characters to use for your profile and set the name you want characters to refer to you by throughout the game. You can also change the outfit of your homescreen character, change the homescreen wallpaper and change the homescreen background music by making purchases in the Akuzon shop or acquiring certain gacha cards)
⚖️ Ad Honesty Rating: 4/5 (just from the ads I’ve seen, especially the ones that appear to be running currently, there don’t seem to be blatantly fake ads and the ads show real art and do well conveying the theme and characters in the game. However some of the ads are misleading about the actual mechanics of gameplay and may also lead you to believe there are actual romance routes with the characters which is not really the case)
⭐️ Overall Rating: 5/5 (I definitely didn’t want to give this game a great rating just because it’s super popular on Tumblr but I can definitely see why it’s so popular. There are lots of things to do, the characters are very lovable, it’s funny, the art is great, the music is great and the lore and overall vibe are compelling and unique. It’s a high-quality game with a good story and I’ll probably keep playing it)
▶️ Ad Example:
▶️ Gameplay Examples:
Dance Battles
youtube
Surprise Guest
youtube
If you got through this review bless your heart ❤️ Special thanks to @human-watching-ads-from-devildom which is where I was able to view some of the ads since I was having trouble finding them elsewhere online and viewing some of them on the Facebook ad library.
Follow me for more reviews of those free mobile games you’re always getting ads for! Thanks for reading! 🥳
35 notes · View notes
petalsmooth · 3 years ago
Text
Still want to argue we are the delusional ones not seeing what is actually there while you, Lili stans, are the only normal ones? Because there is supportive evidence for my position and I don’t have to twist or ignore anything.
The ONLY concession I’ll hand you is I do think they might have clipped the T/J/B triangle last minute but I fully blame that on Lili IF the case. Very episode we got seeds of Betty showing some interest in Jughead not being dead  in over a year and mild smile (he does not return) is same episode where we have an unhappy Cole behind the scenes trying to get out of her grip with his shirt being yanked off.
TBH it was already assumed they’d have Barchie hook up in response to Veronica and Jughead not available (not by you people obviously)  but I do think it was intended to have a little more reaction from Betty about Jabitha particularly with her “best friend” observing their hand hold. Kevin has no other reason to be there.
It wouldn’t require a huge overhaul to tweak the script to take the small Betty pining part out last minute in response to backstage drama from prior episode.
I’m not saying this DID happen for sure, but I suspect it. Still doesn’t mean overall storyline changed. Jabitha was fully intended and Betty was still going to end up in bed with Archie.
9 notes · View notes