#there is no reason to waste time energy and opportunity to stay in hiding? like what is the point?

[cienie-isengardu]

Thank you and yes, no matter what the reasoning is, Kuai Liang is not honest toward Syzoth. But in all fairness it can be said the same about the whole Mortal Kombat Tournament, as what Sindel or Liu Kang told in privacy to their champions about the danger of the other realm and what they officially claim the Tournament is (“To continue the tournament that he founded with Lord Liu Kang in hopes that it would foster peace among realms."). Or how Bi-Han in privacy interacts with his brothers as he openly complains about Liu Kang’s behavior toward Lin Kuei and expresses a wish to change the nature of their relationship but up until the betrayal, he does follow Liu Kang’s orders as a good, loyal subordinate should. And let's not start how Sindel is hiding her daughter's sickness while all sick people are treated as a trash on her own orders. Those are examples of dishonesty, but all make sense within the presented story, because all involved characters are politically connected to each other and are forced to do their duty to their realms and families. Which is why I personally give Kuai Liang the benefit of doubt in the mentioned intro between Scorpion and Reptile. As in, Kuai Liang will withhold his own doubts to secure the alliance that Earthrealm needs and/or to not spread doubt between Liu Kang’s supporters toward their leader. Something that their enemies would definitely use against them at any given chance. 

I guess that could be the Lin Kuei upbringing that demands to put duty above inner doubts, but also what taught Kuai Liang and Bi-Han to not share their every personal feeling with outsiders and think “politically”, the way Sindel and Liu Kang secure their realms.

But this is what politics is, I guess. A small diplomacy lie here and there in the name of greater good. Annoying I know, but also a great source material to see how relationships between characters differ depending on who speaks with whom about what. 

How well aware Kuai Liang is about Lin Kuei’s activity is a very good question indeed. Considering he and Smoke are tracking Bi-Han through the Outworld and the trail led them to the capital city of Sindel/Mileena’s empire I think there is a great chance the attack on Tarkatan colony isn't any big secret. Especially since Baraka and Mileena have their working relationship to improve the living conditions of the exiled, sick people while Shirai Ryu maintains their relationship with Empress and her sister. Bi-Han’s attacks are a reason for concern for Mileena and it feels to me as a natural the turn of events she would inform Kuai Liang about his brother’s activity - unless of course they fell out with each other, as Tomas and Kuai Liang refused to bring their brother for Mileena’s judgment. 

I understand your point, as Kuai Liang’s intros can be seen as him being manipulative and narrow-minded - and the way sources present Harumi and Tomas as an addition to Scorpion and not as separate characters with their own goals and character development doesn’t help much change that impression. What makes me think about the possibility that someone could manipulate Kuai Liang’s feelings actually comes from how easily Shang Tsung can play on his anger. This may not be the best example, but hopefully it will illustrate my point, so please, bear with me on this one:

Shang Tsung: It was all too simple, pulling your brother's strings. Scorpion: It sickens me that he was so easily exploited.

This intro gives me an impression that Shang Tsung can go and lie about Bi-Han and Scorpion will swallow the bait, despite personally witnessing Bi-Han’s action. Shang Tsung on purpose annoys Kuai Liang by being smug about Sub-Zero joining him and the sorcerer presents it as some easily done manipulation and/or how he was in control of the situation, right? But the thing is, Bi-Han wasn’t manipulated the way Sindel was, as Shang Tsung’s offer for Sub-Zero was the opportunity that only hastened the thing that would happen at some point anyway. Kuai Liang was well aware about his brother’s desire to break off with tradition he considered enslavement, as was noted in Scorpion’s BIO, story mode and intro dialogues. So Shang Tsung’s “pulling your brother’s strings” doesn’t make much sense to me, as it doesn’t feel like Shang Tsung exploited Bi-Han’s weakness, the way he exploited Sindel’s love for Mileena. Both men used the opportunity for alliance to advance their plans that already were in the motion.

The whole Bi-Han and Kuai Liang’s chapters feel rushed and quite illogical in the way the events were structured (and this is not about the betrayal scene alone but how Lin Kuei are bad at infiltrating mission), but Kuai Liang’s answer really bothers me, like he does not acknowledge that Bi-Han made decision for himself and he would choose to break off from Liu Kang whatever Shang Tsung’s offer happened or not. Dunno, maybe it is just me, but the way he says Bi-Han “was so easily exploited” give the impression as he believe Shang Tsung had or still has control over his brother - and as intro dialogues show, Bi-Han and Shang Tsung’s working relationship is currently rocky, better than what Lin Kuei has with General Shao but still not fully secured alliance. 

Which is why I feel that if Shang Tsung at some point would claim Bi-Han is helping him to weaponize Tarkat sickness, Scorpion would swallow the bait - even if Sub-Zero has no interest in it and if he knew about Shang Tsung’s laboratory before the mission (something that Liu Kang apparently didn’t bother to tell about Lin Kuei) it could affect his decision of joining forces with sorcerer. Maybe I’m reading too much into that intro, but Scorpion is angry at Bi-Han to the point considering everything the worst about him. He literally calls Sub-Zero disgrace to family and clan - a clan that supports Sub-Zero even despite knowing well how it puts them on a collision course against Fire Lord. So I do think that the burning anger blinds Kuai Liang in a way that makes it easy for other people to manipulate him. All they need is just fed up Scorpion's idea of how low his brother fell down from grace. Even if Bi-Han has no real part in their schemes. Would Shang Tsung do so? Sure, lying is his favorite forte and if his alliance with Sub-Zero breaks down for good, he could use Kuai Liang to hunt down and annoy Bi-Han more, as a way of revenge and refocusing Shirai Ryu effort on someone else. 

Hell, even Bi-Han could do that to Kuai Liang, as a way to keep his brother on a false trail and confuse the pursuit. All he needs is either ask one of his allies to lie - and Shang Tsung would do it happily - or fabricate evidence himself. In the case of the latter, attacking Tarkat people who has no strategic importance to Lin Kuei’s plans and spreading rumors about the supposed research how to weaponizing sickness. That could easily lure Kuai Liang to Tarkat colony while Bi-Han and his men could infiltrate Sun Do in relative peace. There are plenty of possibilities that NRS most likely won’t think about. 

But I think it is worth to keep in mind that what Kuai Liang says about Bi-Han may not be an evidence Scorpion is lying on purpose, but him believing in the lies of other characters. Because he is too emotionally involved in the situation to think objectively, the same as Hanzo was in the past.

Oh, thank you for checking that out for me! I always thought Bi-Han isn’t one to lie and manipulate the way, let’s say Shang Tsung is implied to do. But I guess Sub-Zero may be just too done with people around him to bother anymore XD

Kuai Liang is a liar

We need to talk about a Kuai Liang intro I've recently discovered that honestly left me flabbergasted. I have no idea how I didn't come across this intro earlier or why no one else ever talked about it, but the more you look into Kuai Liang's dialogues, the worse it gets. Blatant ableism towards Kenshi, arrogance and disrespect towards his own allies and now this...

Baraka: I wouldn't wish Tarkat upon my worst enemy. Scorpion: Then help me stop Bi-Han from weaponizing it.

What is this? Just what on earth is he talking about here?

Bi-Han never intended to weaponize Tarkat. He wants it extinguished. Not once in the story mode does Bi-Han talk about or show any interest in Tarkat or the Tarkatans, it's not mentioned in his tower ending or any of his intro dialogues with other characters. What Bi-Han wants is an army similar to Shang Tsung's dragon army, so he can take control of a part of Earthrealm. To achieve this, he started the Cyber initiative.

What does any of that have to do with Tarkat? Bi-Han has no need for it. In fact, he made it very obvious what he thinks of those infected with Tarkat.

I looked at every line Bi-Han said in the game that mentions Tarkat as well as all his dialogues with Baraka and Mileena, the two characters that are infected with it.

Sub-Zero: Expect no compassion, freak. Baraka: Such a cold heart, Sub-Zero.

Sub-Zero: Your kind should be exterminated. Baraka: Disease does not make us disposable.

Sub-Zero: Your affliction is divine punishment. Baraka: Actually, it is fate's cruel joke.

Sub-Zero: If your subjects learn your secret -- Mileena: You dare threaten me, Bi-Han?!

What we learn from these dialogues is that Bi-Han wants Tarkat and Tarkatans gone. He thinks their affliction is some kind of punishment, he seems appalled by it, not interested in it. He tries to use Mileena's condition against her only as a method of extortion, but other than that, Bi-Han does not care about Tarkat in the slightest.

Kuai Liang is lying. He's lying to Baraka to turn him against Bi-Han.

How bad can the "bad guy" be if the supposed "good guy" has to lie to make him look worse?

Shang Tsung is the one trying to weaponize Tarkat and yes, Bi-Han was Shang Tsung's ally, but he stopped working with him and told Liu Kang he wasn't aware of Shang Tsung's experiments.

This isn't even the first time Kuai Liang was lying to one of his allies.

Scorpion: Liu Kang's revelation has shaken my faith in him. Raiden: Understandable, given what he chose to hide. Reptile: Am I right to put faith in Liu Kang? Scorpion: He's always proven worthy of mine.

You might remember this dialogue from the second part of my character analysis for Kuai Liang, in which I already talked about how much of a two-faced character he is.

Truth is, Kuai Liang, just like Bi-Han, doesn't hesitate to lie to others when there's an advantage to gain for him. This yet again proves that Kuai Liang has no honor. I don't know how much lower this character can sink and that's not even including the story dlc events. Kuai Liang is a disgrace to the Scorpion mantle. Hanzo might have been a flawed character, but I don't recall him lying and manipulating others to get his way.

[flauntyourfoolishness]

kinda want to see a perv!big bro who 'decides he is entitled' (loves his lil sis so much he has to fuck her but he is incapable of being a good big bro that simply wants to please his girl) to his weird, closed-off and also fucked up in the head little sister's pushy. she, who instead of being manipulated by him into getting him off or scared, she just does whatever he says, expressionless and making eye contact with him the whole time. even though sometimes she tears up and looks mad and sometimes she moans and push his hair or grip and scratch him as she curls her toes in pleasure, when he's done riding his high,,, it doesn't matter if he kisses her passionately or treat her strictly as his holes to use,,, she just goes to clean herself or,,,,,,,, keep his cum in her as she gets out of the room and interacts normally with their family, his friends...

the way it doesn't matter how much he taunts her, she just keeps being indifferent to his feelings to how,, basically, they are hopeless degenerates,,, it makes him a little lovesick crazy, hard as a rock, which in turn, makes her be pressed against a wall or a door or bent over on some furniture

some of his friends, always eager to embrace whatever is freaky, either tries to ignore the hints of the dynamic (just because) or smirk at her, giving knowing glances, letting her now they know,,, the more wicked the glint in their eyes seem, the more nasty things they probably know about their deeds,,,, but she looks away and stays unfazed,,, mostly,, trying to suppress a smile from how giddy it makes her feel,,,, boyish antics

whenever big bro say something to try to rile her up or turn her on in front of them so he can get off to degrading and humiliating her (she is usually unresponsive but he never stops trying bc he's obsessed). she looks up from her phone to look quickly at every single boy's face, without wasting the energy to lift her head up, and then looks back at her phone, unbothered.

they are all looking at her, not hiding that they would jump at the chance to enjoy free access to their best friend's lil sis, expecting the opportunity to tease her but she never shy away from them,, just ignores it, or,,, sometimes,,, going out of her way to be between the mainspread men on the couch when the siblings' parents are at home,,, they all want to grip her thighs but,,,,,,,, just silently enjoy the way her bro actually does it, shamelessly if their parents are out, as if she is his to pet, grip, pinch, hold tight and she is,,, or purposefully slapping her thigh as hard as he can so their parents would subtly throw curious glances at the living room, poking their heads to check what the loud noise was but dismissing it when they hear all the boys snickering, assuming it's just harmless play, unaware of the dark red full imprint of their perv son on their daughter's thigh, that makes the blood of all of the teenagers in the house rush to where it shouldn't be rushing in their household, right under their noses

he revel in the knowledge that whenever he slaps her ass in front of his friends, stays way too close behind her when they are all crowded up in the kitchen, sniffing her or kind of backhugging his sis and sometimes even shamelessly rubbing himself on her ass, pulling her to his lap when 'the cost is clear',,,, said friends are intently watching, pupils fully blown, salivating, awkwardly fixing their shorts,,,, cocks hard on command due to the deviant acts they are witnessing

he does all that and expects her to either match his high drive, desperately seek the attention she sometimes let it show that she enjoys,,, or even give him an actual good reason to manhandle her, hatefuck her,,, like, telling him to stop, cursing him or fighting back,,, instead of simply look back at him and,,,,,, getting herself off of how she doesn't have to do anything, she doesn't have to try,,,,,, he's completely obsessed with her and he gets a thrill out of it, loving every single minute of how he's always around, always touching, always watching, always invading, clouding, controlling, possessing, owning,, always trying to monopolize her whole being

,,,, that's how it starts, after all, he wants her, so he hold her down,, tells her she is going to take every bit of him,,, and when she simply does, he keeps doing it, he keeps doing it. without ever regretting it bc as long as he can choose he would always make her his.

[vulturevanity]

There's something very very interesting about Blanca having Lycanroc-midnight as a partner pokémon, specifically in relation to Dot's way of coping with problems by removing herself from the scene and holing up in her room.

There's a lot implied throughout the series about the relationship between trainer and partner pokémon. Namely, in that both complement each other in some ways while also being mirrors in others. Take, for instance, Liko and Sprigatito in HZ040: while Liko's difficulty to connect with people and Sprigatito's loner attitude manifest in different ways and for different reasons, in the end they both are about not making themselves a problem/nuissance to others while ignoring people's agency and feelings (take Liko losing on purpose to help Wakaba become a gym trainer, robbing her of the opportunity to prove herself worthy of the position, and Sprigatito ghosting her friends after accidentally hurting them when she tried to save them from the Spidops). Same goes for Roy and Fuecoco, with both having a pretty cheerful attitude, but Roy being too goal-oriented sometimes while Fuecoco mostly just wants to do its own thing. Roy and Wattrel have the reverse of that dynamic, as do Liko and Hatenna being similar in different ways to Sprigatito, and so on. It's no coincidence that most characters in Horizons are designed after pokémon they don't have in their teams.

Dot and Quaxly are both performers. The entire Quaquaval line is all about dancing, moving its legs and generally being a big showoff, and Dot's primary passion is in streaming and making videos about pokémon. But while putting itself out there is entirely who Quaxly is, Nidothing is, if not merely a character she's playing, a part of Dot she doesn't exactly flaunt around -- or at least, a facet of her personality she doesn't have the energy to show all the time. Being Nidothing is, like pokémon battling, something that requires her full attention and focus (symbolized by the "mental switch" headband), and Dot isn't one to waste her mental energy unnecessarily. She works hard as a content creator as well as the Brave Olivine's software engineer and IT guy, and disrupting her flow takes her out of it pretty badly (see: every time she got got by Spinel and had a crisis about it); and that part of her, as well as her earnest naivety, is reflected now in Tinkatink, who is constantly looking to build a better hammer for herself while being pretty sensitive and getting upset when interrupted.

So. Blanca and Lycanroc-midnight.

Lycanroc-midnight, as Friede's outro lecture puts it, is a reactive pokémon. It waits for its opponent to move so it can answer in kind. On a surface level, it doesn't seem to fit Blanca, who dictates the scene wherever she's present. She's overbearing toward Dot and just overly energetic in general, always moving first and listening second. People don't seem to have time to learn how to respond. That doesn't seem very "reactive" of her.

But then? When Liko and Roy offer to talk to Dot for her since she doesn't seem to want to talk to her mom, Blanca overtaken with emotion at the fact that Dot has friends who care for her that much, and immediately backs off. She has a hard time understanding Dot, which is why her decisions, which make sense in her head and are made with Dot's best interests at heart, end up making Dot unhappy. And when she gets an inkling that Dot doesn't really want to go back home, she wants to make sure she's making the right call by asking Dot, through a pokémon battle, if this is really what she really wants. And Dot confirms, cutting through every single one of Blanca's rebuttals and counterpoints, that yes, she is having fun being a trainer, traveling around the world and making friends, and no longer wants to hide alone in her dark room. And it makes Blanca so immensely glad and proud that her daughter is happier. And her answer is "of course you can stay here" -- the proper reaction to Dot's actions. The combination of Blanca's helicopter-mom tendencies and Dot's refusal to engage was making things worse for both of them, and in the end open and honest communication was the reason Blanca was finally able to understand her daughter and adjust her mothering style accordingly.

So, yeah. Blanca and Lycanroc-midnight, Dot and Quaxly. Meeting in the middle. I don't know how to end this post lol bye

[thenerdytomboy]

Late night Loti's facts

This one has got some darker bits, proceed with caution

-Despite how irritable Lotus is with others, he doesn't like seeing unneeded suffering

-On the rare, rare occasion he is convinced to take a night off, he'd spend it writing or reading

-Hes does actually work out if there's not much to be done in his lab or he's been sitting too long, he justifies it to himself by thinking about how he can't work if his hands cramp up

-Hes likes cats! He's always amazed at how soft and warm their fur is

-After staying on Earth, he got a job from Bulma working at Capsule Corp. He drew up blueprints of the healing pods on Friezas ship along with other useful equipment and helps her build them

-He bought an apartment nearby shortly after getting the job with some help from Bulma. He demanded he pay her back with his work but she just puts the money he refuses to take into his vacation fund

-His apartment is very basic and minimal. Not because he likes the style, but because he pretty much only views it as a place to eat, sleep, and bathe

-Hes meticulously clean, can't stand the sight of filth in any form. He'll immediately clean up any sort of "contaminants" he sees

⚠️It's darker from here on out, be warned⚠️

-Lotus has depression, there's no sugarcoating that. Between the whole growing up under a tyrants foot and always thinking he was the only one of his kind, he quickly lost a lot of hope of ever gaining a connection to others and lost a lot of hope for his future in general

-The way he deals with it is by getting lost in his work. He was never given some cutesy reason as to why he was kept, he was blatantly told he was alive because of his ki potential, because of the fact he could be useful

-this fucked with his self esteem immensely and led to his caffeine addiction since it was a way for him to be more productive more of the time. He never allows himself vacations or opportunity for hobbies even after leaving the Frieza force because he's scared to show that he's not useful all the time.

-Even the mentioning of him taking a vacation can send him into an internal panic, and he will almost violently deny needing such a thing, stating hes too far into his work to just drop everything.

-Hes very apathetic towards his own life, putting others needs before his own despite how sarcastic and snappy he can be with people. He'll often tell people to leave him alone if he's injured, not wanting them to "waste their energy" on him, and that he can patch himself up

-Hes hides away if he gets too sick to work, disappears without a trace and comes back as if nothing happened after he's become well enough to work

[galunacycheckyourheadtour]

I choo, choo, choose me

The change started over a month ago, when I was at rock bottom. We had received news that there had been another delay on the house sale, money was beyond tight and everything felt incredibly bleak. I was starting to think the sale may never happen and the thought of the impact of that was terrifying. I was trying to keep my head above water but feeling like I had weights tied to either ankle. I talked a good talk but I was taking everything hour by hour, staying in bed, not really eating or taking care of myself and I was having some very dark thoughts. Mostly, that I did not deserve anything good and that I had put myself in this position, through a series of adult choices that I owned completely - but maybe they were not right. My health was bad, my blood pressure sky high, mental health terrible - again to a certain extent that was my fault. So why, did I choose that moment to come off my anti-depressants?

Now, I am going to put a statement in place before I talk about this, medications are great - they have saved me multiple times in the past. It was a decision, I made with the support of my counsellor and doctor, so it was informed. I did not tell anyone else - my family or my friends, I did not want judgement. I was to reduce gradually down and check in often. Which I did. My reasoning was, I was in the worst place of my life, and I kind of wanted to feel that in real life, rather than the fog that I felt I was permanently in. The meds felt like a security blanket and I needed to let go. I just wanted it to be real - if it hurt it hurt, if it was terrible I would go back on them - but I needed to just do it - I trusted my instincts. I had been on the meds now for over 3 years on maximum dose so this was a big experiment. Now, I am not going to lie, there were some real wobbles and bleak bits (which I wont talk about as they are triggering) but on the whole, I started feeling a clarity again and that was exciting. My thoughts were clear and I could process life in a grown up adult pragmatic way, instead of crying and hiding in bed. I felt like I was getting strength in the pain and I was starting to question why I kept getting into this place with all the pillars in my life. Over and over again - the same patterns and the fall out and the answer was me. I kept wanting to be a victim, to feel like I needed to use all of my experiences and past to self harm and basically stop living in the real world. I needed to take ownership and that felt exciting, but also frustrating. I was very angry at myself for wasting time.

The house sale got back on track and I started to make plans. I was not going to go backwards, this was my one opportunity to make it all about me and my decisions. I would have the luxury of a small amount of money that I would put aside - an Olivia wellness fund - which could only be spent on stuff that would bring me joy, health, , counselling, courses etc and once it was gone it was gone.

I am a fully qualified holistic therapist and am very much into spirituality, energy and intuition, so I would go back to that place which had helped me so much in the past. I wouldn't care if people thought it was 'hippie shit' - whatever, everything I do is with positive intentions, I don't sit around making voodoo dolls and making spells to ruin people - that is not my thing. But healthy curiosity of tarot, crystals, reiki, shamanism, holistic health and meditation is where I am very happy and it was speaking to me so I leaned into it.

The house sale happened. I paid off my debts, which there were many - friends and family had been very kind. The phone stopped ringing with people demanding money. I put aside money for the future. I put aside money for my wellness fund and I felt overwhelming relief, massive gratitude and huge relief . I was self sufficient and doing stuff for myself for the first time in my life, EVER.

During the year, I had been trying to work, but again I saw the same patterns emerging: take a job, go full out, work 18 hour days, burn out. I know I am fantastic at my job, I am. I love working, but I am also a workaholic and take too much on, never ask for help and say yes to everything. But then on the flipside, I was hugely flaky going down with illness all the time, which I knew was more about my body not coping with stress and shutting down. I knew that it is not for me anymore. The industry, I worked in - events, needs to evolve - it takes no prisoners, people burn out fast, there are no safety measures in place. It is a young persons game and it no longer bought me the joy that it had in the past, but was it all I could do?!

The company I was freelancing for wanted to make me permanent - it was lovely, they really wanted me but my head constantly was shouting 'don't do it. Why are you saying yes! SAY NO!' Whilst physically, I was saying yes and signing all the relevant paperwork for a contract on a job I knew would make me ill. The night before my onboarding, I went very dark - it was possibly the closest I have ever been to something more serious, I cried, I paced, I didn’t sleep and I felt like an idiot for putting myself in that position. I woke up the next day and drove to the job, I did my fantastic acting skills (thanks stage school) being so enthusiastic and saying all the right things. They were all lovely, so welcoming, so everything but I walked out of there and got in the car and debated driving it into the sea. But I didn't, I drove and listened to music which is always how I get my thinking done and I decided no more - what the fuck was I crying about, I don't owe anyone anything - I can change the narrative. I can fucking change the narrative.

Then I started to ask myself curious questions, why do I do this - my answer: 'I don't have children, so if I don't have a high flying career am I failure?' what the actual fuck - I know that is what I had always thought. I had failed at life, no children so I must focus on a career. That is what everyone is expecting - but who the hell is everyone and why are they even being considered, I don't think those people are real, they are just me and ghost voices from the past. I am very good at deciding what everyone else thinks about me, without even asking them. So erm, hold up - surely life is about finding satisfaction, to be happy, to wake up want to do something better, to be a better person, to bring something better to the world and to not hide in bed hoping that the apocalypse would happen and it would end quickly. It was not about ticking The Game of Life boxes and getting to the end of the game. So I decided at that moment, this is it. The job goes. I am going to spend December doing me, finding joy, getting up in the morning and being excited, getting healthy, going on my bike, saying yes to fun, being spontaneous, travelling, working on a plan for the new year to start doing something career wise that I can be passionate about. So I contacted the job and it is no more, I am wide open for new experiences - but no going back.

No more looking over my shoulder. Thus my statement formed:

Today I choose to work for myself. Today I chose to say goodbye to what does not serve me anymore. Today I chose to stop being a victim of my past. To stop sabotaging my own progress, falling into negative patters and to step forward into the light Today I choose me, as me is pretty ok.

So I am going to make me better, so that I can be better for my family, friends and everyone around me. I am so lucky everyone has stuck by me this year and the gratitude I have is abundant to all of those people, there are so many from messages to check ins to little gifts- to just knowing they were there if anything bad happened. I am incredibly lucky especially, as my communication skills back have been horrendous - another bit of self sabotage, if I don't reply they will hate me and I will be alone. Seriously, I needed to get a grip.

This has been a long post, and probably very boring but as with all these things I want to note it down. It feels better. I will write more about what exciting things I will be doing in due course. I know I will wobble and I know there will be times that I will be weak. But for now...I am grinning because actually this is my chance to make it count.

Today I am grateful for: My Family & Friends My incredible counsellor The NHS The Sea Jacket potatoes beans and cheese

[boundinparchment]

Dream a Little Dream of Me - X

Celestia has a cruel sense of humor. He’s always known this, ever since his days as a student. But a soulmate? Really? Dottore/Female Reader Soulmate AU. Expect lore speculation, interpretations, etc. Available on AO3 as well. This chapter contains loose references to 3.2's leaked dialogue and the leaked Dottore model. Proceed at your own risk.

He’d read your name in your Akasha profile but to hear it fall from your lips was exquisite.  Even now, hours later in the depths of his own workshop, the syllables still found their way to his lips and he recalled the exact way you spoke them.  

How fortuitous that he wouldn’t have to backtrack, in the end; you certainly saved him the trip of hunting you down.  Again.

Not that he doubted you and your tendency for confrontation and clearing the air, of course.  There was still the variable of your colleagues whisking you away instead.  It only disappeared once he realized it was your attempts with the lift that were interfering with the script he was running.  The blasted device kept sensing one more terminal than expected and at that point, the only option was to let you come to him.

Perfect, really, given the small window of time.

The disappointment on your face was clear as the sun shining through the glass when you received his title, not his name.  You’d attempted to hide it away but it was there for the remaining few minutes, in the way your seeking eyes traced details and in the tiny frown tugging at the corners of your mouth.  The tugging sensation was back in full force despite the reminders to himself that his reasoning was sound.  He disliked this, deceiving you in such a fashion, but it was necessary.

Both because it kept the experiment neutral and because, well…

You were, for all those dreams and visions and connections, a stranger.

And it was better that way.

Especially right now, when the Sages were beginning to prepare for the annual pushback against the Sabzeruz Festival.  Ever resilient in their refusal to acknowledge the Greater Lord’s death, they would waste time and resources burying their heads in the sand at the notion that their God was lost forever.  But the Second Harbinger convinced them that instead it was a perfect opportunity to use the collective consciousness of the city to, instead, divert their faith, and therefore their connections to the leylines, elsewhere.

Knowledge could be harvested, contained for consumption; why not dreams, faith, memories?

He knew, of course, of the latter.  His segments ran on his own memories, leyline energy converted into circuitry and drives.  But it relied on mechanical life and therefore was of no interest to the Akademiya.  All the better, really.

It was likely too late to prevent you from being mixed up in everything, especially if you stayed in the city.  He couldn’t risk the Sages’ nonsense interfering with…

Dottore ran a bare hand over his face, as though the act would wipe away his thoughts.  Tension sat behind his eyes and deep in his jaw.  At least the rest of the mechanical work on the Manufactured God was finished, or so it appeared when he last checked, which meant he could leave the Samsara oversight to the segment as well…

That would leave room for you and finding a solution to keep you from being caught up in everything with his actual work.

He couldn’t have experiments overlap in such a fashion.

It just wouldn’t be practical.

He couldn’t have a repeat of…

His own voice broke him out of his thoughts, “So that’s the one who always appears in the shared consciousness, hmm?”

The Omega segment had otherwise been busying himself fine-tuning something across the workshop, occasionally chatting with the Balladeer, who was now deeply embedded into the machinery.  Dottore glared across his desk as the segment approached, its cravat tucked away and coat discarded in favor of rolled-up sleeves.  Well, at least Omega tended to care for its belongings.  His expense report was already becoming a nightmare as it was.

“She can’t even summon a weapon,” the segment hissed.  “And you mean to tell me she’s the one the Divine throws at us?”

“At me.  There is no us,” Dottore spat back.

“We all see her,” Omega extended his arms out, a mockery of his master.  “Any one of us could just take care of her and no one would be the wiser.”

Distantly, Dottore heard the voices of the other segments, all in agreement, some more vicious than others.  Those that had never experienced coming to terms with a Vision, for they would never receive one, others far too occupied with their own projects to chime in.  He’d finally managed to find a way to sift through for his own thoughts but when he was agitated, confused…they always managed to cross between the rifts of time and bother him.

“Stay away from her,” Dottore ordered, rising from his seat and pressing his hands flat against the surface of the desk, crushing papers in the process.  “I will not warn you again.”

“It’s not as if she’ll know the difference, will she, Zandik?  I am you.”

“No, you’re not.”

He spat the words as if they were the most bitter things he ever tasted and reached out, grabbing the different perspective by the cravat that had come free.  Dottore pulled and brought the segment down so it was bent at the waist.  He had half a mind to rip the faceplate off of the wretched creation for such insolence.

“You’re the closest thing to me but you are not me.  I cannot seem to rid you of the selfishness of my youth, and the arrogance that came with it.”

“Perhaps they aren’t traits to be culled but embraced.  They were what led to—“

“And they led to the ruin of everything I built the first time!”

He reached for the mask before the segment had a chance, revealing the spinning core, glowing red to indicate it was currently in use.  The faceplate dangled from the segment, a tangle of wires and tubing, all of which would have to be carefully pushed back in.

“I will rip out your core and send you to Sandrone for scrap if you continue.”

Dottore’s finger hovered over the core, ready to stop the segment mid-process if necessary.  

The segment relented, its shoulders slumping slightly.  “Yes, Lord Harbinger.”

Prime Dottore pushed the wires and tubes back into their appropriate places and slid the faceplate back into place, fixed strands of hair.

“You are to deal with the Sages, oversee the harvest, and anticipate and handle any threats to finishing this project.  And that is all you are to do.  We are here for the Gnoses, nothing more.”

He patted the segment on the cheek and pushed him away with the hand still holding the cravat, a silent dismissal.  He couldn’t have insubordination.  

The irony of his own rebellion was hardly lost on him but this was becoming tedious.

[evelxtus]

Hi! Could I request headcanons about Childe Thoma Kaeya and Bennett hugging hcs with (platonic) gn reader? Reader likes their hugs and wants to give/get them more, but reader's too shy to ask for them and doesn't want to seem weird or needy as their friend? Thank you in advance!

❛ — I ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ʜᴜɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴏʀᴇ !

featuring. . . . . . childe, thoma, kaeya, bennett & gn! reader

genre. . . . . . . . . platonic fluff

a/n. . . . . . . . . . . hugs headcanons to warm up your heart <3

⩩ CHILDE.

you are a good, very good friend of childe. and you know that when he's not trying to pick a fight, he's a very soft boy. at least with you.

soft to the point of silently wanting to relax next to you, his chest rising and falling heavily from his last encounter and his muscles still tense, but finds a quiet moment when you open your arms and he reciprocates the gesture by melting into your grip.

this is one of the moments in which you can take the opportunity to hug him without looking weird! it is not necessary to ask in any way, the hug will come only naturally.

childe just wants to rest and regain his energy with you. you love hugs from him, but what you don't know is that he loves them even more and this is a moment that he can freely enjoy inside. because he's needy of hugs, your hugs, and childe can't hide this fact that easily.

⩩ THOMA.

you have it easy with him. he literally adores your hugs. when thoma finally finishes any of his housekeeping chores, his reward is to come into your arms and tell you how he's been doing.

yeah, he spends his time missing you while he works, but at least you keep him motivated to do things fast and well.

his hugs are so warm that you could stay in his arms forever, but unfortunately you can't. he has things to do, so do you, and besides, you don't want to seem needy by his touch.

so when his workday is finally over, you can both lie down relaxed under the night sky of inazuma. and it is a moment in which he will extend his arm, it is a call for you to get closer to him, and you know it, you know him very well! therefore do not waste time and rush to hug him again!

⩩ KAEYA.

the best time for this is usually in the tavern. especially when he is in a drunken state.

kaeya is still aware of his actions, so you do not need to worry. he knows exactly what is happening and will remember it in detail. but when being drunk, he tends to talk more or express what he wants or needs most at that precise moment. things he usually would not say a word about.

so if he wants to hold you in his arms, he will say it openly. that's when you can take advantage and throw yourself into his arms!

he is so weak for your hugs. that's why he doesn't say it when he is sober, because it's a vulnerability that he has. he loves them, and the only way to make him recognize it is this way.

the next day when he is calmer and remembers this situation, surely he will find some excuse to cover that he is as needy as you in terms of hugs.

“my vision was blurry, so i must have you close. what would i say to others if i lost sight of you, hm? it would be unkind of me, don't you think?”

⩩ BENNETT.

okay now, this is a more difficult case. because you both want the same thing, and neither of you wants to say anything about it. we already know your reasons, but his?

what if you really do it out of pity and not because you really like his warmth? do you do it just so you don't make him sad? or what if his bad luck acts again and something happens to you while you are in his arms?

you will have to wait for the right moment so that both of you put shyness and shame aside. like for example... a rainy and cold day!

who knows if the drizzle started because of the poor boy's bad luck, but he had the idea to help you shelter and warm up by offering you a shy hug.

that's when he finally opened his eyes. you looked so relaxed in that position, in his arms, that all doubts were dissolved in his mind.

now he will want to hug you so you can use him as your "personal stove" when you need him.

oh come on bennett. we know there is more than that simple excuse! the truth is that between his arms you seemed so calm and happy... he wants you to be like that forever.

[dragongirl642]

I really love your writing and noticed your asks are open (i think). And, I checked your masterlist and didn't see RE8 listed as a universe you write for, so you can ignore this if you want. But, could I request Heisenberg, Donna, and Lady Dimitrescu reacting to a male dragon-shifter reader who has decided to make the character's residence their hoard, and as such, going to extreme lengths to protect them and the residence?

OOOHHH 😮😳 How did you know dragons (and by extent dragon shifters) are my favourite things in the whole wide world!!!!!

As a treat, you get all four of the Lords' reactions. 😎

For extra drama, the dragon-shifter (you) basically crash land nearby (after a loooooonnnngggg flight) and decide to take up residence in the nearest abode while you rest, and end up getting comfortable and liking the area so decide to stay.

You have a full human form, fully dragon form, and an in-between form.

Also, you have like saintly levels of patience.

Heisenberg

It takes him a minute of staring to figure out that the giant dragon in the factory, is not a hallucination, induced by either the drinking he was doing the night prior, or a trick of Mother Miranda's trying to destabilize him mentally.

However this quickly turns into a lot of yelling "what the F are you doing in my factory!" and "What the F are you!" while chucking metal at you.

You melt the more dangerous pieces and yell at him to "Cease this nonsense! You can't hurt me like this."

Heisenberg.exe has stopped working.

He's partially re-evaluating his life like...did I just get sassed by a giant lizard.

You take the initiative to tell the small angry man telekinetically chucking metal around to chill. "Listen, I'm just going to rest here a few days then leave. You leave me alone, and I won't Incinerate you."

He quickly weighs up how much he doesn't want you here vs how much it will piss Mother Miranda off if he uses the giant dragon crash landing in his factory as an excuse to do absolutely nothing for her.

He's a bit annoyed about you taking up all the room by the forges so he can't make new soldats but...

Hate for Miranda wins!

He actually uses this as an excuse in his next report and Mother Miranda comes to 'get rid of the problem herself since Heisenberg cannot'...you almost incinerated her and she checked out. (He's putting that down as one of the best days of his life).

Since he now has nothing better to do he either leans on a nearby balcony or stands on a floating gear and starts trying to get your attention.

Will ask you everything from your name and where you came from to your favourite colour and if you have a specific favourite scale on your body.

You're distrustful and annoyed at first but soon warm up to this obviously lonely man.

You get so comfortable you decide you just might never leave.

The first time you feel comfortable enough to shift back to your human form Heisenberg is like (o_o) hot person! Two for one deal, annoying Mother Miranda plus Eye Candy!!!!

Makes a joke about having you turn into your dragon form again so he can keep making excuses to Mother Miranda. Which gets you curious and you ask about her, and he explains about the cadou, the experiments, and what she did to him.

He will make a bunk for you, so he can get back to work and you can stay near the heat of the forges, (absorbing the energy from the flames speeds up recovery and/or keeps you charged at 100% so you're always ready to burn a b1tch...specifically Miranda).

You both talk about whatever while he works. Lots of late night chats. One time he accidentally doused the forges and you just blew into the chamber and they re-lit immediately. (Mechanical Heart Eyes)

Since you start considering the entire factory to be your hoard, sometimes you claim a random object as your specific favourite piece for the day, maybe one of his tools or a specific piece of scrap. If he needs to use it, you won't let him and a small argument can be had. A solution is soon found though, you can't have a conflict of interest if your favourite item is him.

When you protect him, he's super flattered and hypes you up.

Cue him on the sides cheering you on.

If you two have started dating he will definitely yell "that's my boyfriend!" and gush about you to whoever happens to be standing next to him. (Bonus points if it's any of the other Lords. Especially Miranda, she is dying!)

Definitely makes a sign saying 'Beware of Dragon' to put on the fence.

Sometimes you jump to his defence even when he's in the middle of handling the threat. He gets huffy, saying he can take care of himself. You respond by telling him you won't let anything harm what's yours and once again, Heisenberg.exe is experiencing an error.

Alcina Dimitrescu

She is absolutely dismayed and angry at the giant lizard that barged its way through the doors and took up residency in her hall. It's tracking in mud and snow, burned the curtains, and took a good chunk of the wall, (letting in the cold).

Her daughters can't handle the cold, damn you!

Tries to fight you...fails. Turns out she's not immune to incineration and loses quite a few limbs (they grow back...eventually).

When she sees you shift to your human form, she's doubly-incensed...not only did you barge into her home but your also a D I S G U S T I N G M A N T H I N G !

You shift back whenever she tries to kill you so eventually she just gives up. (According to her she's waiting for the right opportunity NOT giving up.)

Wants to kill you, calls Mother Miranda for help and well, the same thing happens if you had crashed in the factory...she checks out!

Refuses to leave the castle for any reason, she's not leaving you along with her daughters.

Resigns herself to yelling insults at you from the balcony.

You respond in kind and it slowly devolves into a competition to come up with the most creative insults.

Your dragon form radiates heat...like...a lot. (Even counteracting the cold coming through the hole in the wall, which you attempted to fix.) This of course attracts the Dimitrescu daughters to the hall (against their mother's will).

If Alcina sees you lying their in dragon from, her three hive-mind children chattering away happily with you encouraging their curiosity, (Bela is half-asleep by your side, Daniela is complimenting your claws and asking about your bone structure, while Cassandra proudly proclaims her mother's are better than yours), she partly reconsiders her stance on you being a filthy, horrible, disgusting lizard man thing to just a filthy lizard man thing.

Seriously, your filthy, take a bath.

You quite enjoy all the little luxuries that can be found in the castle and decide to stay. Alcina almost shreds her hat in exasperation.

You get more comfortable and she starts to tolerate your presence, although she will take a swipe at you if she thinks she has a chance at killing you in your human form.

Jokes on her you can partially change and still fit through the hallways.

You never told her you've claimed the castle and the Dimitrescu family as your hoard but she does notice you being oddly friendly to her and she is "suspicious!"

You've met a few vampires and have a few suggestions for a more sustainable food source (buying blood donations from villagers instead of killing them). She's skeptical but considers it.

The first time you defend her is actually against Mother Miranda...over the phone. You have sharp hearing...and you don't like what you're hearing.

She's both flattered you would defend her so, and disgusted with herself for accepting a man thing's help.

When she realises she likes having you around, she starts to rationalise to herself that you're not just any man thing, you're her dragon man thing and therefore okay.

Gets more comfortable with leaving you with her daughters. You treat them well and keep them entertained?! That's a free babysitter if ever she's seen one.

When she sees the more extreme lengths you will go to protect the castle and her family, she is impressed and flattered and a little scared, and acts like it was her idea to have you stay.

"Oh, haven't you heard, that's the Dimitrescu Dragon."

Definitely rubs it in Heisenberg's face that she has a dragon and he doesn't.

Donna Beneviento

What are you!?!?!

To protect Donna, Angie is ready to fight you or die trying!

Just kind off avoids you and sends the pollen at you to make you leave.

The only one of the four Lords most likely to actually defeat you.

When you speak though, telling her to "release (your) mind, witch, or (you'll) incinerate everything", she's surprised and scared enough to actually do so.

Asks if you'll be her friend. Angie is cussing you out.

You see how scared and lonely she is and just *adoption mode activated*.

You only need to rest a few days, why not do so on friendly terms with your host. (keep telling yourself that).

It takes a day for you to shift to human form, partially because you don't want to have your measurements taken because Donna wants to make you a giant bonnet, (You reason it's a waste of resources, you'll only be here a short while).

Jokes on you, this is your home now.

You've never hoarded dolls before, but there's a first time for everything.

You will spend most of your time in human form since your dragon form kinda scares her.

Even though she's still scared of it, Donna does find your dragon form interesting and will ask to sketch you (from a distance...no fire please).

Make various over-exaggerated poses and joke about "draw me like one of your french girls" and she will laugh, (even though she doesn't get the joke).

She makes a plush doll of you. It turns inside out to shift between human and dragon.

The first time you protect her, she's scared. The flames take her straight back to her childhood, she's crying and she hides. You shift back to human form very quickly and find her, holding her close and apologising for scaring her over and over.

Will tear a man apart in human form to avoid this (or almost human form).

She slowly works up to being comfortable in your dragon form, the first time she falls asleep against your side is a good day.

You start insisting on accompanying her to meetings and escorting her whenever she has to meet another Lord. They start talking sh1t, they get hit (or burned...you let Donna choose).

Angie cheers you on.

Salvatore Moreau

He is terrified of you when you first show up.

You basically tear your way into the mines for shelter and he is frantically plugging the entrance to his home with the enzyme to hide.

Calls for "mother" to save him and that's how you find him.

You see this small deformed fish man crying in the mine and think, "i'm not gonna ask."

You settle in the slightly larger chamber and just lie down for a rest.

He soon realises your not going to attack him and ventures out to stare at you. He just keeps staring at you for like an uncomfortably long time, peeking around a doorway.

Eventual you snap and ask him to stop staring.

He slowly comes out of hiding and starts asking the basics.

"You can talk?" "Who are you?" "Why are you here?"

Seeing no reason not to, you tiredly answer all his questions.

Hearing about your long journey has him curiously asking about the places you've been to.

He quickly figures out you must have some sort of human form since you end up on the topics of favourite foods or movies and your favourites are all distinctly human. (He's the fastest at figuring this out and the least surprised when you shift).

Terrifying (hideous) creature going through an unnerving transformation into a humanoid form...he can relate. Although he's slightly jealous of how 'normal' you look when you shift to human form.

You two have a movie night where he proudly shows of his collection. It is in the middle of him analysing the context of THAT ONE SCENE that you decide, Yes...This one is mine.

The entire reservoir and mine is your territory and if anything comes anywhere near it they will be ash in 30 seconds.

When you protect him from danger, he's shocked that someone cares enough about him to f-ing incinerate a lycan for even looking at him weirdly.

You act like its natural and eventually he starts to get used to you.

Has self doubt and questions your motives...you tell him he's worth it or that he's your jewel.

C O N F I D E N C E B O O S T

Starts talking back to the other Lords when they insult him. It's easy with you hovering menacingly behind him, veins glowing with barely contained R A G E.

One source of friction however, is the fact that he doesn't like that you keep trying to kill Mother Miranda and he will latch onto you sobbing until you agree to spare her (for now...you'll get her when he's not around).

However, the longer you two know each other, the more self-confidence he gains and the more you talk through what Mother Miranda did to him and why he deserves better, (pointing out her manipulation, analyses whether she's ever 'cared' about him, etc...), the less bothered he gets. (Give it a few years, he'll cheer you on alongside Heisenberg).

Bonus:

The second you see Mother Miranda...it is on sight. (Especially if you know what she did to the Lords).

Cue you shifting to dragon form and preparing to unleash a volley of flame, "I smell the blood of children on you."

You may be comfortable(ish) with the actions of your housemate but you have STANDARDS.

Alright 😊 Hoped you like these headcanons, jaychirps. They were really fun to write and grew quite a bit. 😅

(I feel like Moreau's a bit ooc but I don't know enough about him to dispute that claim....)

Oh and p.s. ... asks are open.

[thunderheadfred]

🐈‍Aizawa HC’s🐈‍

I dunno if people will care for this; I suspect my HC's for Aizawa are a little off the fandom norm. Still. I tried. Things get approximately NSFW under the cut. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

General

He has like, one discernible change of clothes per season. There is no distinction between hero outfit, casual wear, and pajamas. That fabric used to be black. It is now an exhausted shade of ‘please stop washing me.’ If you suggest that he buy new clothes, he will stare you down like you have three heads, and none of those heads have a brain.

This man does not spend money. He has a mind-blowing amount of savings, but no one will ever know until he dies and wills it all to a random animal shelter in the middle of nowhere. Has a secret scholarship fund for UA students. Again, this is completely anonymous. Only the principal knows.

He's a startlingly competent sketch artist. Nothing fancy, and he never took an art class in his life, but his quirk innately lends itself to spacial reasoning and feature recognition. He has sketch books brimming with sloppy but pin-point accurate life drawings. He can capture your soul in three strokes of a dried-up ballpoint pen. It's eerie.

Given his schedule, you’d expect him to prioritze convenience first, but junk food makes him cross-eyed. His body is a temple and he eats like a fucking monk.

He’s a wine snob. Well, a liquor snob generally. He knows the name of every regional sake-maker in Japan, and can tell you exactly which bottle is the best, down the the month of production. Assumes everyone possesses such laser-focused knowledge.

Tea drinker. Yeah, he has encyclopedic knowledge about that too. Apparently everything this man drinks comes with a bibliography.

Technically he’s supposed to live in the UA dorms part of the time. He sleeps poorly there, and goes home whenever he has the opportunity.

His house is old, but not valuable. Probably inherited. Traditional style with very few modern updates. He keeps it meticulously clean and does repairs as needed, but the age is still obvious. Everything creaks. You swear the place is haunted but won’t dare admit it aloud - he WILL laugh you out of the house.

There’s a garden but he doesn’t have time to keep it up. He has a lot of memories of the plants in full bloom. Letting it go to seed upsets him more than he lets on.

He has zero personal possessions aside from household appliances, which he meticulously researches and keeps in perfect condition.

Reads an insane amount of books. These mostly come from the library. There’s always a stack near his bed. You have no idea how he finishes them, because every time you see him with a book, he’s asleep with it on his face.

He doesn’t adopt cats so much as just leaves his doors open and lets them freely colonize the place. It’s not his house, it’s theirs. Somehow there's not a single cat hair on anything.

Most of these cats are cuddly little angels; you've never met nicer. But there’s a few beasts in the mix, with battle scars and three legs and a craving for human meat; these are Aizawa’s special favorites.

- - - - -

Dating

Falls for you when he stumbles across you taking care of one of the hideous strays he usually feeds on his route. Doesn’t approach you at first (definitely tries to hide) but the cat is like "mrrr?" and brings you over to him, giving the game away. Traitor.

Will make you pay for your half of everything, down to the last yen. So what if you’ve been together for ten years? You have your own income.

One exception to the above: he’ll never buy you presents but he WILL treat you to lavish meals in dark restaurants with hand-written menus. Don’t mistake this for romance, he just likes the quiet atmosphere and excellent service.

He cleans every day; there’s an unwritten five-dimensional schedule and that schedule is EXACT. Zero time wasted. He’ll never actually ask you to help with any of it. He’ll never directly thank you, either. But if you learn how to take over certain chores and do the daily upkeep while he’s away, he’ll love you forever.

Not the type to talk about his day; he’d rather sit with you outside. He values silence. Not because he doesn’t want to talk to you, but a lot of the time he doesn’t have the energy to give you his full conversational attention. Physical contact is easier, and more comforting besides. Just... hold his hand a while.

His scalp gets tingly and sore from overusing his quirk. If you run your fingers through his hair he will pass out instantly.

He will cozy trap you. He’s touch-starved and was definitely a cat in a past life. Will hang all over you if you don't give him enough attention and constantly falls sleep in your lap. Hope you don’t need to get up anytime soon; he’s not moving.

You don’t exactly ‘move in’ with him. He never wants to spend a night without you, but his living space is already exactly how he likes it. He will never move out of that old house, but he’ll give you some rooms to yourself. Your stuff and his... complete absence of stuff... stay pretty much separate. Do NOT clutter up the bedroom.

The kitchen is the exception. That's a warm and cozy shared spot, the heart of the home. You’ll always be stepping around a cat.

He LOVES when you cook for him (so that he doesn't have to take the time). Will shower you with praise and encourage you to make huge earthenware vats of old-timey tsukemono that the two of you cannot possibly eat by yourselves. He’ll help with food prep and knows his way around, but he insists you’re the better cook (even if you aren’t).

Big on actions over words. Makes an effort to be present with you as much as he can.

Will stare into your eyes until you look away. When you look back, he's still staring with a rare warm smile on his face.

God, he loves you. You will never, ever know how much. He doesn't tell you often, but he shows you every day.

- - - - -

Somnophilia???.........

ACE ACE ACE ACE

This man is A-fucking-sexual. He’s not sex repulsed in any way, he’s just not personally invested.

Aromantic too. Deadass doesn’t get the hype. You are the most important person in his life and he’s deeply commited to and comforted by you. Just don’t expect to be seduced; it will literally never happen.

If you are allosexual, he will still be devoted to your sexual well-being. At first, that means buying you a DELUXE toy and encouraging you to use it on your own.

His voice is too damn sexy, even when he isn’t trying. He’ll give you all the phone sex you want; he thinks it’s sweet how you unravel for him. Edging you for ages is a fun little power play, but he’s definitely grading papers while he does it. Don’t be offended. Toshinori has overheard some THINGS.

When your relationship gets sufficiently serious, he’ll help out with his hands. He’s VERY SKILLED AT IT. He likes to lay down next to you and whisper encouragement in your ear. Eventually he gets possessive about your orgasms, and will make you ask for permission.

Sometimes the stars align, but his arousal is a rare bird. He'll take a whole afternoon to prepare. It’s love-making, full stop. Always slow and intensely emotional. He'll cherish every inch of you but might not cum at all; you can’t force it.

[greenygreenland]

Dream A Little Dream of Me: Norman x Reader (part four)

-part four because I couldn’t fit everything in part three-i went overboard, I’m sorry

-please enjoy I worked a month on getting this out, haha. it is a labour of tears and love.

---->PREVIOUS PART <-----

Summary: You need your memories back. But how will you get them?

Gracefield House

Not a single soul moved for what felt like centuries. The moment Ray, Gilda and Don arrived at the scene, it was clear that nothing else could be done. Mama smiled at her children viciously. She wasn’t here to play nice any longer. Today, she was the hunter and her children the prey.

“It was a clean break. She will recover smoothly,” Mama curtly announced. “And Norman?” You didn’t like the way she looked at him, or the way her grip seemed to tighten on your limp arms. Her gaze dangerously narrowed and she said, “Your shipment date has been set.”

Your heart stopped. Norman’s shipment date had been set? No, that couldn’t be. Your plan required at least another week until everything fell into place. Norman was the core of it all. Without him, what would you do?

And speaking of which, he was going to die. Die. Die. Die. He was going to die.

You squirmed in Mama’s grasp, hoping--praying that you could maneuver around this. Norman wasn’t going to die. You wouldn’t let him.

“Let me--let me go!”

It was reckless and it was stupid to think he’d be able to evade Mama’s sight just like that, but you had to try.  Didn’t Emma say you’d all leave here together?

“Norman--!”

He blinked as if he’d woken up from a long dream. He forced himself to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. Don’t struggle.

Don’t struggle? How did he expect you to sit around and do nothing? If anyone should be shipped out first, it should be you. Why? Because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you let any of your family go.

Mama glared down at you with a cold smile. “You can’t fight me more than you can stop the sun from setting,” she said, heaving you higher off the ground. Your leg hit Mama’s arm and a cry escaped your lips. Norman flinched and Emma stood frozen in place.

You were always the strong one, not Emma, not Ray, and not Norman. Because you were one of the eldest, it was your responsibility to be the shoulder to cry on and to stand when no one else could. To see you holding back tears and gritting your teeth tight enough to make your gums bleed made Norman’s little heart break.

He didn’t care about his shipment date. All he wanted was to see you safe.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of faces, voices and regrets. The sharp pain in your leg long faded, leaving only a dull throb that stayed as a reminder of your failure. Yes, that was what you were, right? You couldn’t complete the plan even with Don, Gilda and Ray distracting Mama. You were pathetic. A waste of space.

The door creaked open and you sat up a little straighter. You smiled at the trio as they entered the room. “Hey guys.”

“How are you feeling?” inquired Norman. He took a seat by your bedside and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. Ray pulled up another chair. He hid his face behind his fringe to conceal his grim frown. It didn’t work though, and you merely smiled at him. He huffed irritably, as if he didn’t want you to know he worried so much.

“I didn’t think she’d go that far.” Ray quietly muttered. You knitted your brows together with a absentminded shrug. “And to think I was that close to getting her watch.”

Emma’s shoulders sagged. “I wish I had--”

“It’s fine Emma.” you said with a warm smile. “Broken bones heal, it’s not permanent.” She wrapped you in a tight embrace and you rubbed her back comfortingly. It was hard to look her in the eye anyway. The sadness she tried so hard to force down only added to your guilt, and you weren’t sure if you could think straight with all the regret.

“I’m sorry this happened.” you began. “Now that I’m hurt, you’re worrying for me.”

Emma pulled away as Norman gave a firm shake of his head. “None of this is anyone’s fault.” he stated. "None of us saw that coming, and even if we did, I’m not sure we’d be any good outwitting Mama on the spot like that.” He offered a gentle smile that made you feel just a little bit better.

-----

(University name), DAY TWO

Class went by rather quickly today, and maybe that was because you were sure you’d seen similar material before. Each answer came easily along with each mark on your paper like a memory from long ago. You’ve answered harder questions, much more difficult tests that held more weight than a simple grade.

“I was impressed by your extensive knowledge on world history,” said Mr. Baker. He was the world history teacher. Unlike the others, he was young, perhaps in his mid twenties. In the hour you’ve gotten to know him and the class, you’ve come to realise he’s a class favourite. For good reason, too. His jokes were phenomenal, the material entertaining, and the atmosphere, friendly.

It was like having a conversation between friends rather than teacher to student.

“Do you know what school you went to before you came here?” he inquired. You shook your head. “No. I don’t think I went to any school before this actually...but I’m not sure. I wish I knew, sorry Mr. Baker.” He offered a warm smile. “Maybe my jokes will remind you of something. In the mean time, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ll remember eventually.”

Eventually. You didn’t want to remember ‘eventually’. Living a life of ignorance was difficult as it was, why should you continue it? You adjusted your grip on a notebook and said, “See you tomorrow Mr. Baker.”

“Same to you, Letha.”

The cafeteria wasn’t hard to find. Students crowded in the hallways, pushing and shoving as they stuck close to hurry towards for their meals. You didn’t care much for the food. There wasn’t any way it could measure up to your, or Gramps’s, cooking anyway.

“Letha!”

You spun around as much as you could in the congested hall. Flanna raised a hand above her head and waved. She didn’t even try to hide the fact that she was looking for you. “Letha, you comin’?” There was no way out of avoiding the red-head. She had too much energy, and an eerily observant eye hidden under her smile.

“Hello to you too, Flanna.” you said, matching her step. Flanna grinned brightly. “Are you excited for lunch? My first day here, I thought it’d taste terrible. You’d be surprised how good it is, but maybe that’s because the school’s expensive.” She let out a snort that was lost to the chatter of the crowd.

The cafe wasn’t all too big. Despite the long tables stretching out across the floor, and the high ceilings and tall windows, it felt small. Crowded. The sheer amount of teens gathered in one area was daunting, scary even. It made your head spin, and your stomach lurch in disgust.

Was this what everyone dealt with every single day? How could they do it? This was madness.

Flanna patted your shoulder and led you towards the lunch line. “You get used to it after a while. Can’t say I have, but it’s not so bad.” She handed you a cup of fruit from a large cooler. You watched as she did the same and instructed the lunch lady on exactly what she wanted.

You copied her. It was all you could do to prevent embarrassing yourself.

Once you found a table, a long sigh left your lips. “That was actually...a bit stressful.” Flanna chuckled good-naturedly. “Oh, I get it, you’re shy, aren’t you? I had a friend like that back in ninth grade when I still lived in the countryside. Couldn’t even go in line without help from me.”

“What happened to that friend?”

“Moved away. Lots of people do. They like the city because it’s “full of opportunity”.” Flanna rolled her eyes. “I think it depends on what you want. I’d prefer a quiet life where all I have to do is take care of a farm. You know, sheep, chicken, cows. It’s easy because the only person who’s your boss is you.”

Flanna clearly didn’t favour modern life as much as her peers. She went on about the difficulties of technology and how they were “nothin’ but trouble” for simple folk. You couldn’t say much about that, but you wish you understood.

The rest of the day went by in a flash. It turned out, your last three classes were with Flanna. She didn’t talk as much in class, but she asked you a lot of questions about why you knew so much. Of course, you couldn't remember, but she didn’t know that. She didn’t know who you truly were.

FIVE MONTHS LATER

The setting sun illuminated the sides of your face as you glared at the frosty grass below your winter boots. You stood outside, wrapped tightly in your thick, fur coat. It was Gramps’s daughter’s before yours, so it smelled like him. The forest. A cosy fireplace. Hot chocolate. It did little to comfort your aching heart, and maybe that was because a part of it was still missing.

Standing in the last rays of sun reminded you of that boy with light hair and kind eyes. It reminded you of his touch that refused to leave your mind. He was scorched there like an emblem on wood.

“So why can’t I remember you?” Your words were lost to the harsh, frosty breezes. “Who are you to me?” He wasn’t family, that much you knew, nor a friend either. He was much more. Much closer to your heart than either of those.

-----

This wasn't a massacre. It was the shambles of a bloody war.

The remnants of limbs and broken bones lay strewn across the throne room, where pools of crimson stained the tile flooring with its iron stench. Part of you wished you hadn’t opened the door, and another said it was your fault for letting everything get this far.

Would you have been able to stop Norman if you ran faster? If you had stopped him earlier?

Your stomach flopped and turned. The smirk painted on Norman’s lips wasn’t right. It wasn’t him. He was satisfied, not with the massacre, but with how perfectly his plan had been executed. It played out like a game of chess. Each pawn he sent out had been eliminated, leaving only the most powerful pieces on the checkered board.

“I’m sorry,” Norman said. “It’s too late (Y/n).”

He wasn’t sorry and he sure didn’t feel an ounce of guilt for lying to you. Or at least, that was what you wanted to believe. Every fibre in your body screamed at you to run at him, slap him to the moon and back, or beat him to a pulp for lying and cheating you all. Yet you couldn’t do it. Not with the way he kept his eyes to the floor.

“I’m so glad you made it back safely,” he added. “It’s a shame you were a little too late.” Your gaze lingered on his for a moment longer before you cast it to Ray and Emma. They stood strong with you, yet you had a feeling they wanted to waver just as much as you.

Emma stared at the sticky crimson under her boot, eyes wide in disbelief. “They’ve...they’ve all been...?”

“Killed.” Norman plainly finished. “They killed each other and they’re all dead now. The Queen, the nobles, the Giran clan. All of them.” Despite the pleasant way he spoke, you had a feeling he didn’t mean it. The Norman you grew up with--no--the Norman you knew wasn’t like this. He was kind. Gentle. Sweet. He cared for everyone and everything, which was why he chose to be shipped out in the first place.

And why he always chose to be the sacrifice.

You heaved in a deep breath. If this were the reality of your situation, you had to accept it. Ignoring Norman for who he was and what he did wouldn’t do a thing.

“I reforged the Promise.” You made your way across the room, eyes straight and head held high. The smug glint in Norman’s eyes vanished.

“Everybody can escape to the human world and no one needs to fight. You don’t have to kill anymore, it’s over.” That was what you wanted to believe with every fibre of your being. But was it really all over? Could you escape to the human world and leave this place after what’s happened?

Norman shook his head, as if he knew exactly what you were thinking.

“It’s too late for that.” he plainly said. “No, it’s impossible. A monarchy that has lasted thousands of years has collapsed. Governance for the demons is impossible now. So is peace.” He glanced at the lifeless body behind him. “Iverk was the last one, and I killed him myself.”

You stiffened.

“We’ve put a lethal fissure in the demon society. A fissure that can’t be mended. All that’s left to do is,” he threw out a careless hand, “shatter it. All of the demons will die out. There’s just one more factor left. We can’t go back now. We have no choice but to wipe them out.” He straightened and it was like you were staring at a different person. There was no kindness in his eyes, or that light that you’ve relied on to keep you waking up every morning. “Don’t get in the way.”

You clenched a fist. “No.” Your voice came out strong, reassuring. “What is the point in wiping out a whole race just because we can’t see eye-to-eye? There’s hope and I’ve finally grasped it! For thousands of years, there’s been a cycle of slaughter and war that we have to break. I don’t plan on standing back, and I don’t plan on letting you become more of a murderer!”

Norman’s eyes were dark from under his cloak. “(Y/n)...”

You stood your ground. Defying him was the only way you could stay strong, the only way you could convince him. “We’ll find a way together! It’s not going to be easy, but I know we can do it!”

“(Y/n)...!”

“I’m not letting you sacrifice yourself again and I’m not letting you do this alone!”

Norman’s tight expression relaxed into an uncomfortably serene smile. “What are you talking about?” he lightly inquired. “Didn’t I tell you? I’m not going anywhere.”

You heaved in a sharp breath because he stopped telling you the whole truth ages ago. He stopped relying on you because he thought he had to do everything alone. “I can’t trust you. You’re a liar! You think you can fool me? I know something’s wrong with you, you’re just trying to hide it! Don’t underestimate the family you grew up with, stupid Norman. We can see through all your lies and tricks!”

You thought back to the day you walked into his office alone.

I know you Norman, don’t forget that.

It had been too long since you’d seen him and thought him dead. Too long since you were able to hold his hands in yours.

And because I love you, I don’t want to see you destroy yourself.  

It was nice to see him again, yet there was something off about him. He hadn’t changed much besides growing as tall as a tree.

I admit, I don’t know why you act like you’re going to leave again...

The only difference was the hesitance in his stance. As if he were trying to hide something very painful in his chest.

...but I’ll do everything in my power to stop you.  

Then he left your words open-ended, as if he knew he couldn’t possibly lie to your face like that. He knew you saw through him from the start. It was only a matter of time before he acknowledged it.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” you slowly inquired. “Because you’re so smart, you chose the reliable path. Because you’re so kind, you shoulder all the burden. I know you Norman, didn’t I tell you? You don’t want to slaughter the demons! And you don’t want to wipe them out either!”

That was the truth that shone in your heart. You wanted to believe in Norman because he always believed in you. If he didn’t then he wouldn’t have allowed you to go the Seven Walls. If he didn’t, then he wouldn’t have allowed you to walk without him.

“You shouldn’t lie to yourself,” you added. “What are you hiding? What are you so afraid of?” He raised a brow challengingly. “Afraid?” Norman wanted to laugh. “I’m not...”

“The Norman in front of me looks like a scared child.” You said it like it was fact, and judging by the way Norman’s gaze unfocused, you were right. He wasn’t just scared, he was terrified. Of the consequences, of how you would look at him again, of how the blood would never, ever wash off.

But it was okay, right? He was strong. Just a little longer and it would all be over.

You took a step forward. Norman firmly held out a hand. “Don’t come any closer.” His voice was void of any emotion, cold even. “I’ve come this far. I have no intention of turning back now.”

“Well that’s too bad!” you exclaimed. “Because neither do I! I’m not letting you go this time!” You grasped his hands in yours, giving it a firm squeeze.

“Yes, you’re strong, yes you’re smart and you’re amazing and all those great things, but you’re stupid too! And arrogant! Can’t you see that you aren’t alone? Don’t be afraid to believe in us! We’re here to share everything. The tough, the burden, the painful things and the scary!”

Emma nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we’ve done that since day one. It’s what we’re here for!” Ray locked gazes with Norman. He wasn’t about to be left out of this, not after Norman’s little stunt back in Grace Field. “Don’t be so reserved either,” he added. “Just spill it!”

You squeezed his hands tighter and stood a little closer. “You don’t need to protect us anymore! We want to walk with you, not behind you!” Answers were simple, but the journey was everlasting and dangerous. You understood what it took to get here even if you weren’t walking in Norman’s shoes. It was difficult. Terrifying. But with all the accomplishments under your belt?

It was time to reunite with him.

“Your family and siblings are your friends.” added Ray. “We don’t want a future where you end up suffering no matter what the result is. And you? What do you want? What do you want to do, Norman?”

He pulled away and the warmth left your hands. “No, it’s no good.” he stated. “You’re already too late. I’m...I’m in a place where I just can’t go back. You can’t walk alongside me--”

“We know.” you interjected. Emma nodded. “About the poison, Mujika and Sonju...”

“And the experiment in the basement.” added Ray. A hopeful smile inched itself onto your lips. “See? We’re not too late. It’s okay to be vulnerable. If you’re the real Norman, then let’s lose our way together. Let’s struggle too, and laugh.” You held out a hand and Emma and Ray joined you.

“Let’s live together.”

Norman didn’t struggle to keep his cool. You re-called the look in his eyes, the same one you saw that night he was told his shipment date. He cried, not just because he chose to get shipped out, but because he was scared. For you. For himself. For his family.

That stifling look of serenity washed off his face. His lips trembled, his shoulders shook, and his eyes watered. You all wrapped each other in a tight embrace. No one deserved to face all the ages of time on their own, no matter what it was, and more than anything, you’d do that for him.

“But...” Norman’s voice trembled. “It’s too late. It's pointless because of the drugs we were forced to take. We don’t have much longer left to live--we can’t live on.” He collapsed to his knees in a heap. “Help me... (Y/n), Emma, Ray... Please...”

That was when all the puzzles finally fit. After laying in wonder for so long with thoughts that kept you awake until the sun rose, you understood. The hesitance in his walk. The way he tried to hide his sluggish step. The way he acted like he was running out of time.

“You’re dying.” The words left your lips before you could even stop them. “It’s...the drugs from Lambda, right?” Norman tried to suppress a sob, but it came out in a way that sounded like he was chocking on his own lies and tears. You took a knee, gently placing a hand on his cheek. “Oh, Norman.”

He couldn’t stand the soft look in your eyes, or the tone in your voice that was like a warm summer breeze. You should have yelled at him. Should have stamped your foot against the ground and growled and slapped him. Yet you knelt in front of him, caressing his dampened cheeks with a touch that said it would all be okay.

Norman wouldn’t look at you--no--he refused to because he was just as you said: a liar. Why were you so kind to him when all he did was lie? He said he’d let you go to the Seven Walls. He said he’d wait for you. He said he wasn’t going anywhere and that he’d live, laugh and do everything to be there with you, for you.

Norman wondered what a murderer like him ever did to deserve you.

-----

The grass crunched under your feet. Towards the brick walls you walked, following the sun as it lowered deeper and deeper towards the ground. You had to keep reaching for it. You had to see it.

In times of trouble, it was your beacon of hope, the last bit of your old life you were sure you could recall. No matter where you were, it was always the first thing you followed. Towards the light. Towards that ray of hope.

You came to a stop at the edge of the school grounds, right where the gates separated you from the outside world bustling with life. The occasional car zoomed through the streets, interrupting the quiet air with its incessant honking and screeching.

The sun disappeared over the horizon, bathing the skies in navy blue and purple.

“Excuse me.”

The voice was light, warm, polite.

“You should really hurry home. It’s not safe out here at this time, especially since we’re students.”

You stuffed your cold hands in your pockets. “I really appreciate your concern,” --you turned to face him-- “but I’m fine. Thank you.”

A boy with light hair and kind eyes met your gaze. Something about him reminded you of something--no--someone. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but the boy did. He’d never forget you, no matter how many lifetimes he lived.

“(Y/n)?” He was breathless, frozen in time as you awkwardly knitted your brows together. (Y/n) wasn’t your name. It was Letha, the name Gramps gave to you because you couldn’t remember your own.

Your confused frown made the boy’s eyes well with tears. You stared, watching as he slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle a pained sob. He was a student here just like you, sporting the traditional sweater vest, white button-up with a tie, and black slacks to match. You’ve never seen him before, yet he looked so...familiar.

Gosh, why couldn’t you remember?

“It’s been over a year and,” he chocked, “I’ve looked everywhere. How could you--how could you do all that for us? You promised we’d live together, but you reforged the Promise and--and...”

The boy's knees wobbled, and out of instinct, you threw out your arms. He fell into you, right at the crook of your neck. You couldn’t see his face, but you knew his tears must have been frozen by now. It was cold out here.

“Are you okay?” Your voice was small, fearful almost. It made the boy cry harder. “I don’t know you, but why don’t we go inside? There should be a cafe down there, and they’re open late, so...”

“I’m sorry.”

You paused.

“I’m so sorry.” he echoed. “I wish I was there. I wish--I wish it were me--but instead...”

You patted his back as if you’d known him for a lifetime. Maybe you felt bad and that was why you hadn’t shoved him off, or maybe, it was because having him in your arms felt so right. Familiar in a way you couldn’t put into words.

Your gentle touch made the boy’s sobs relapse. He curled into you, wrapping his arms around your middle like you’d run away. Like you’d disappear. There was something so nostalgic about this hug and the way you both had your arms around each other.

It had happened before.

“The Promise,” the boy muttered, “you made it in exchange for--”

------

Bright, blue sky stretched out as far as the eye could see. It was beautiful, and oddly calm. Perhaps a little too calm. After running through a maze of illusions and riddles you struggled to solve, you arrived in this place. Alone. The ground was like water, and with each step you took, it rippled and fanned out.

Someone sat in the middle of this endless sky and water, hovering over it serenely.

“What is it you seek?” the demon inquired. You stepped forward. “I want to reforge the Promise.” The demon’s single eye gazed straight through you, as if you were nothing more than a sheet of paper held to the light. “Sure, (Y/n).”

You pursed your lips together. He was unnervingly calm, child-like even, and you had a feeling it had to do with his ‘reward’ after the promise.

“So what is it you seek?” questioned the demon. “You must give me a reward as well.”

Yes, that was the catch. But what could it be? This demon was a being higher than anyone in the land, a god that once split the world in two. He transcended time, yet remained relatively simple-minded and difficult to read.

“The reward,” the demon fiddled with an orb in his hands, “hmmm... It would have to be something important. Ambition. Desire. What someone longs for. What I would want is something important to the other party. Will you make a wish despite that?”

This was for more than your family and Norman. You had people relying on this one choice, this one Promise.

“Yes, I will make a wish despite that.”

It all meant more than the world to you. You had to liberate your family, the children who were raised like livestock and mass-produced like wild animals. And the mamas who fought to survive--you had to think about them too.

“I wish for all the cattle children to cross over...”

They didn’t choose that life of suffering. None of you did.  

“And after that, for it to be completely impossible to pass between the two worlds.”

The demon continued to stare. You stood strong and proud with the weight of all humans in this Neverland on your shoulders. If he granted your wish, then the tide would turn and you’d be able to save everyone and everything.

“I will grant that wish,” he said. “And the reward I want are your---”

----

“Memories?” The words fell from your lips in a hasty breath. More than anything, you valued finding them. It was the only missing piece in your heart. The last portion of the unsolved mystery.

This boy--whoever he was--talked about you like he knew you. Held you like you meant something. Said that name, (Y/n), like it were his life line. He pulled away with a sniffle, settling his hands on your shoulders with a loving touch.

“You don’t remember me.” He lifted a hand and raised it to place on your cheek. But he couldn’t touch you like he used to. Not when you looked at him like he was far away and out of your reach.

“You don’t remember me.” the boy quietly repeated. He began to pull away, but you grasped his hand in yours. It was warm, soft. “No, I...I’ve seen you before.” There was a pained look on the boy’s face, as if he thought you were lying to him.

“Haven’t we been through this before (Y/n)?”

No, said your mind. Yes, said your heart.

“You shouldn’t lie to yourself.”

Your grip tightened around his hand, but not enough to hurt him. “I...I do know you. You’re...” You shouldn’t lie to yourself. You shouldn’t lie to yourself. You shouldn’t lie to yourself. But you did know this boy, and all this time, you yearned to see him.

Remember.

Remember.

Who was he to you?

Who were you to him?

Remember.

Remember!

“I can’t remember your name,” your eyes welled up with cold tears, “but I know I’ve missed you all this time.” You pulled his hand to your cheek as he brought you close. The scent of parchment, aged books, and the woods. Yes, that was nostalgic, so much that it felt right. The final piece, fragmented and broken, began connecting again. It brought the dots and the gaps you tried so hard to fill together.

But something else was still missing.

The boy pulled your head to the crook of his neck and rocked you from side to side in the moonlight. Even the hazy streetlights were drowned out by the stars. You liked to think it was because this part of the city was quiet, isolated, from the rest of the world. And the rest of your worries.

“Norman.” he said.

You looked up at him.

“My name is Norman.”

“And mine is...(Y/n)?”

“Yes,” he said with a bittersweet smile. “I think the day I fell in love with you was when you got excited about something Ray told you. Ray is our family if you’re wondering, and so is Emma, and Gilda, Don...” He told you about people you once knew, and the life you once lived. Some parts he left out, and others he kept.

But you wouldn’t have known. Not when your memory laid in fragments.

“...And so we looked for you. I didn’t think you’d be here, but I’m glad you were.” He laid his chin on the top of your head. “You used to joke that I’d never be taller than you, but now I am.” A sad chuckle left his lips. “I wish things could be different and that you--”

Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a flash of red hair. Your head began to pound and you nuzzled closer into Norman.

“What’s wrong?”

“My head hurts.”

He ran a hand through your locks, arms folded close around you as he hummed a sweet tune. It was sad, melancholy, and the only one you’d ever known your whole life. “I know that song.” you mumbled. Norman smiled softly. “Mama used to sing it to us all the time. When Ray had nightmares, she put him to sleep with this song.”

The pounding in your head increased and you squeezed your eyes shut. “I did too. I sang...to you.” Norman’s lips parted, but he settled on a nod and smiled instead. “You remember?”

“I think so.” The memory was hazy, as if someone were trying to make you forget for good. But you fought that urge, held on to the image of a room with white sheets and bed lined up side by side. “You were...talking to me...about a...I don’t know...”

“Go on.”

“You were crying late at night...so I...I sang to you.”

Norman kissed the top of your head. When he was in Lambda, locking in that room all alone running through test after test, he held fast to that memory. It kept him from giving up on what he fought for, and kicking the bucket for good.

“I missed you so much.” he wistfully whispered. “You can’t leave me again, or else you’ll break my heart for good.” You looked up to meet his watery eyes. “Why would I leave?” Norman shook his head. “It was in the Promise, wasn’t it? You can’t break it.”

The pounding began to fade. You tiredly smiled, but it was warm and thankful and happy. “That won’t stop me, Norman. I don’t think I could live without you.” He warmly chuckled, intertwining his hands with yours. “Me too.”

And it was then that you began to feel a little more complete, a little more you from then. You were sure you wouldn’t have to dream another little dream of your wodeerful Norman any longer, for he would be right by your side, where you both belonged.

You released his hands and cupped his cheek. It was a natural act you didn’t even have to think twice about. When you were you, you had done this more than a thousand times. Your lips connected in a sweet kiss. He tasted like coffee and tea rolled into one, and you had a feeling it was because he couldn’t choose which was better.

“I love you.” you said. He warmly smiled, but underneath, it was almost sly. “I love you too. Why don’t we do some catching up?”

TIP JAR!! <- (Support me on Ko-fi please!)

DON'T FORGET TO LIKE AND REBLOG, AS IT HELPS ME OUT AS A CREATOR A LOT!

Thank you to those who stayed this long, I love you all SOOOOO MUCH!

[forever-rogue]

Afterglow - Part 11

A/N: Hello! It is finally time for some more Frankie! I hope you all enjoy! As always, feedback and comments are welcome, and if you’d like to be tagged, let me know. xx 💕

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: referenced drug use; sexual innuendos 

AFTERGLOW MASTERLIST

FRANKIE MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

Today was the big day. Finally. 

And despite your excitement, you were nervous beyond words. 

You buzzed around the house, your entire body humming with nervous energy as you tried to make sure everything was perfect. Daisy watched you with disdain for a moment before turning back to her new bone and chewing on it. She had just come back from the groomer, topped off with a bow on her collar and everything, and you couldn't deny that sweet face a new bone.

The whole house smelled of the cooking and baking you'd done throughout the afternoon - all Frankie's favorites of course. It had been almost three months since you'd seen him. Three months since you’d held him and kissed him. Three months since you’d looked into those soft brown eyes that were your everything. 

Now he was finally coming home. 

Your Frankie was coming home.

»»————-　♡　————-««

You’d made it a point to speak to him as often as he wanted, making sure not to impose on his needs as he sorted himself out. He needed to do this for himself, and some days that meant not speaking to you. Those days were harder, but you knew in the end it would be worth it. Frankie deserved the best, and you were going to make sure he had it whatever way he needed it. 

But today that was all coming to an end - you knew it would still be hard for him, some days worse than others, but he would be better now. And everything else you could work through with him. Together, once again, just as it had been meant to be.

You’d offered to go and pick him up and drive him home yourself, but he had insisted that he didn’t want you to go out of your way to accommodate him. You would have never minded - you both knew that. But whatever he wanted to do, you would go with it. 

But in your own way of caring, you couldn’t help but want to make everything perfect for his first night back. You’d already made it a point to firmly, but lovingly let him know that he’d be staying at your house for at least his first weekend back. He’d readily agreed, letting something along the lines of I can’t wait to see my girls out, whether or not it was intentional, you weren’t sure. 

As everything was finishing up in the oven and the fresh and homemade apple pie was cooling on the counter, you heard a car pull into your driveway. Almost dropping everything in your hand, you eagerly went to the kitchen open, pulling back the lace curtain as you glanced outside. There was Frankie, climbing out of Santi’s car with a smile on his face as he talked to the other man. Grabbing his bags out from the back, he thanked his best friend for the help before finding your gaze. A smile broke out on your face as you stopped what you were doing and ran out of the kitchen and the door, in a rush to meet him. 

Santi waved at the two of you before slowing backing away, not wanting to intrude on the special moment.

“Francisco!” you bounded over to him, almost knocking him over from the force of your hug as you wrapped your arms around him. Tears, this time not of hurt or pain but of joy, pricked at the back of your eyes as you held him, immediately burying your face into his chest.

“Honey Bee,” he dropped his bags without hesitation returning your tight hug as he rested his head on your shoulder, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too,” you pulled back and looked into his soft brown eyes, watching as they crinkled in the corners with his smile, “my Frankie. You look so good, my love - I love you so much.”

And he did look good - better than you had seen in a long time. Gone was the gauntness of his cheeks and his face had filled out a little. His hair was longer again, back to that mop of curls you had always known and loved, His eyes seemed to be lighter, more alive and bright, and that magical smile truly seemed to reach them. Frankie sported a pair of well fitting jeans, complimented by a red checked flannel that you immediately planned on stealing at the first opportunity. Most importantly, he truly looked...happy. And the way he looked at you was nothing short of love and pure devotion. 

“I love you,” he whispered as he leaned into you, leaving only a small gap between your bodies. You took a moment to breath him in, familiarizing yourself with every part and parcel of him, both of you grinning at each other like fools. Unable to contain yourself, you closed the gap between your bodies and brushed your lips against his. 

It was a slow, sweet thing at first, almost hesitant and reserved as you made sure you weren’t overstepping his boundaries, and that he actually wanted this. He didn’t waste a moment as he eagerly kissed you back, smiling against your lips as his hands found purchase on your waist. Your arms wrapped his neck as you carded a hand through his soft curls. It was a moment of saccharine bliss as you reacquainted yourself with each other, easily getting lost in the other.

You only pulled back and broke apart when you heard an excited small bark from the front door. Daisy had managed to nudge open the door and was on the front porch, watching the two of you in excitement, her tail wagging furiously. You couldn’t but laugh at her as you watched Frankie’s grin grow even larger; any more and you were sure it would break his face in half.

“Alright,” you told her with a small come hither motion, “come on good girl, come and say hi.”

Daisy wasted no time in running over to Frankie, as he bent down to greet her, and was immediately covered in kisses from her. You weren’t sure who was more excited to see who - either way, your heart was fit to bursting with happiness. This really was everything you had excited and so much more. Fishing your phone out of your pocket, you quickly snapped a photo of the two of them, vowing to set it as your lockscreen later.

“Should I be worried that you missed her more than me?” you teased as Frankie stood back up and offered her a few head scratches. He laughed, a warm, wonderful sound that rang crystal clear before putting his arm around your shoulder and placing a gentle kiss to your cheek, “pretty sure she got more kisses than I did.”

“Don’t worry, Bee, I’ve got plenty of them for you later,” he promised with a cheeky wink. Making a small sound of content, you reached for his bags before he could and moved to go back inside, “hey - I can get them!”

“I know,” you grinned as you ran towards the door, “but I want to do this! Let me take care of you - dinner’s almost ready. I made your favorites, my love!”

“You...you did that for me?” he asked softly, trailing after you with Daisy at his side. Offering him a confused look with a raised eyebrow, you gently nodded as if to say well duh, “whatever for?”

“Because I wanted to of course,” you beamed at him, “do I need more reason than that?”

“I suppose not,” he agreed as he closed the door behind him; suddenly he felt right at home. There was something in his gut, his instinct, that told him he was exactly where he was supposed to be. He followed you into the kitchen and grinned when he saw his favorite pie on the counter, “Bee…”

“I know, Francisco,” you whispered softly before reaching over and touching his cheek, “I know.”

And you did. You both knew. Sometimes actions spoke much louder than words ever could.

»»————-　♡　————-««

You were halfway through your pie and ice cream, sitting on the back deck when you found Frankie studying you intently. Hiding your face behind your hands, you tried to swallow the big bite you had just taken, sure he was going to tease you about it. Shaking his head, Frankie took your hand in his and pressed a soft kiss to your knuckles, “you look like you have something to say. And don’t even bother arguing with me - I know that look better than you think.”

“I...as a matter of fact I do have something exciting to share, but I didn’t want to take away from you,” you shrugged lightly, “tonight should be about you!”

“Nonsense,” he insisted with a slight huff, “come on, honey. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Okay,” you set down your spoon, feeling your heart flipping nervously as you decided you should share your news with him. If this was going to be a relationship - a real relationship, you were going to be upfront and honest, “ever since you’ve been back, I’ve been thinking about....well, everything. Remember what I wanted to study when I was younger?”

“Zoology,” he stated with a tilt of his head as you nodded, “and…?”

“I...I love my job, I really do, but I’ve been thinking a lot about trying out something new,” you explained as his eyes lit up with excitement, “and well, I think I want to go back to school and give it a try - zoology. See if I actually like it as much as I always thought. It’s just...I’ve learned a lot about myself lately. And one of those things is that for so long I’ve just done what everyone expected of me, and didn’t really ever think about what I wanted. And this is something I want to do, for myself. And if it doesn’t work out, there’s still so much I can do. I-I hope you don’t think that sounds crazy or rash, but...I want to do this.”

“I think it’s brilliant,” he agreed eagerly; it was easy to tell this was something you wanted to do with how your face lit up, “if it’s what you want, you should go for it - this is for you. Not anyone else. You know you’ll always have my support, however I can help.”

“Well, that’s good to know because I kind of already went ahead and applied for the program,” you offered him a sheepish grin as he laughed, “at the state university in the town over. I got in - I’m supposed to start next fall!”

“Of course you did, honey,” he reached for your hand and lightly pulled you in his direction. Easily acquiescing to his request, you sauntered over to him and sat in his lap, letting him pull in you close, “I’m so proud of you. For doing this for yourself and for getting in. You’re going to knock ‘em dead.”

“We’ll see about that,” you shrugged as you put your hands on his shoulders and gave them a light squeeze, “either way, I’ll never know if I don’t try.”

“Exactly,” he pressed a kiss to your lips, the sweetness of the ice cream and pie still lingering on them.

“I’m proud of you too, Frankie,” you whispered, pressing your forehead against his, “I am so, so proud of you. Everything you’ve done - for yourself, and by yourself. You’re so strong, but you know whatever you need, I will always be here for you. I’m not going anywhere, Frankie - I swear it.”

“I…” he paused as he swallowed the lump that had welled up in his throat before offering you a shy nod, “I know I’m nothing special - no one - that you’d want to end up with-”

“Don’t,” you pressed a finger to his lips, gently shushing him, “I love you for you, Francisco Morales. I fell in love with you. Not because of anything else, but because you’re everything to me. I would rather spend our lives doing fuck all and be the black sheep of society as long as we’re happy. A certain job, a title, fancy cars and houses - it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I don’t give a fuck about anything like that, just you. I want you as you are, Frankie. Not as you whatever you think you ought to be or whatever you want to call it. If you’re happy, I am happy. I just want you, that’s all.”

“Honey,” he looked at you as though you had hung every last star in the glittering night sky, “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you. You are the best thing to happen to me - I don’t know...I don’t where I'd be without you. And before you try and argue with me, I mean it. You have pulled me out of the darkest place, made me feel hopeful again - worthy. Like I actually deserve to be happy. You never treated me like the others did, you always saw me for who I was. Like I was a person and not some charity case - that I was important. That always got me through everything, even when we were apart. I always thought of you; and then we when I saw you again, completely and totally out of the blue, it was like it was meant to be. Maybe that sounds crazy, or...something. But...I like to think that everything happens for a reason.”

“Of course it does,” you felt like you were about to melt under his soft gaze as his hands explored your face, calloused fingertips tracing gently over your features, “I met them all, you know. When you were gone - Santi, obviously, Benny and Will, and some of your other friends. They’re wonderful, Frankie, and they have nothing but love for you. They told me...you always talked about me...you kept my picture with you? For all those years?”

“Yes,” he confessed as a single tear rolled your cheek. He quickly wiped it away and kissed your forehead, “always.”

“Frankie…” you must have been the luckiest woman in the world, “I have always loved you for you. There are a hundred million reasons for why I love you, but the main one was - and is - the fact that you are you. It’s...Francisco, I want this. I want you. If you’re in, I’m all in too. I mean it - we can take it slow, as slow as we want and need, but I mean it. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. But I just...if you don’t want this, then that’s okay too. I just want you to know I love you more than the moon and stars, and I always want to be a part of your life. Even if that’s just as a friend or neighbor or -”

Before you could ramble on much more, Frankie quickly cut you off by pressing his lips against yours. It wasn’t much, or fast, or hungry and needy, but...gentle - loving. Like he was trying to convey every emotion in that one single kiss. If you weren’t sure of his answer before, there was no way it wasn’t clear now. 

“I want this too, Honey Bee,” he whispered against your lips, watching as your eyes softened at him, “I want to be yours - but I...I’m not perfect. I’m still working on so many things to be the best me for myself - and you - but if you give me the chance, I want to try again too. I’m all in too. I always have been and will be.” 

“Of course,” you nodded slowly, “always.”

“I love you.”

“I love you,” you repeated, running a hand through his dark curls, “do you remember the first time you told me you loved me, Frankie? I remember it like it was yesterday -”

“I was so nervous I thought I was going to throw up,” he laughed lightly, “I had it planned for so long and you keep interrupting me and I had to get it out before I lost the nerve!”

“Ahh yes,” you giggled, “through a mouthful of food and it sounded something like ithinkiminlovewithyouhoneybee.” 

»»————-　♡　————-««

20 Years Earlier

“This was a good idea,” you grinned at Frankie as he trailed after you, a picnic basket in one hand and a large blanket in the other. You’d offered to help, but naturally he’d refused. It was a bright, warm spring day, and you both wanted to take advantage of it before it got closer to midterms time, “it’s beautiful out!”

“Yeah,” he offered up a cheeky grin as he caught up and set everything down near the lake’s edge, “my view’s pretty beautiful.”

“Francisco!” you rolled your eyes at your boyfriend, but bounded over to give him a kiss regardless, “you’re so cheesy.”

“Maybe,” he agreed as you unfolded the blanket and set out the items from the picnic basket. He’d taken time that morning to make sure he had all of your favorite things to bring. He’d wanted this to be a special day; he’d finally worked up the courage to tell you that he loved you. When he actually thought about it, he realized he had been for a while; the revelation had hit him like a freight train. 

Once you were finished, you leapt back up to your feet and started to peel off your layers of clothing, starting with your cardigan and immediately his eyes widened in pleasant surprise, “w-what are you doing?”

“Taking off my clothes?” you quirked an eyebrow but continued on anyways, “the water’s perfect and it’s getting warm - let’s go for a swim, Frankie!”

“We d-don’t have bathing suits,” he stammered nervously as he tried not to let his gaze linger for too long on your semi nude form. You’d been intimate with each other on a growing multitude of occasions, but he still felt shy when you so readily shared such sacred moments with him. His cheeks flushed dark pink as you shrugged and stood in only your bra and panties.

“Come on, Frankie,” you insisted, running towards the water, “join me! It’s a perfect day, my love!”

He offered up a skeptical look as you vainly attempted to splash some water at him, giggling at him like a fool as you let the water envelope you. As he watched you float on your back for a moment, he gave in and stripped off his shirt and sweater, swiftly followed by his jeans and shoes. He stood there in his boxers, skin golden and freckled as he smiled at you before slowly making his way over to you. 

Stepping into the cool water, he immediately swam over to you, wasting no time in splashing some water onto your face. Making a small sound of surprise, you righted yourself and attempted to put on a serious face. Frankie just laughed at the sight of your face and you couldn’t help but join in.

He quickly responded by putting his arms around your waist and pulling you towards him and placing a gentle kiss to your lips. 

“It’s cold,” he huffed in jest, as the water rippled around you with the gentle movement of the lake. You stuck out your tongue at him but shrugged gently, running a hand through his already wet curls. Before you could do anything else, he quickly captured your lips in another soft, slow kiss, causing you to melt into his touch, "already warmer."

"You're such a dork, Francisco!"

"Your dork!"

Once you were both worn out from swimming around the lake, you'd gotten out to eat lunch. You were laying on your stomach, trying to savor and not completely inhale the delicious sandwich he had prepared. In between bites you were rambling on about your history class and how much you hated your current assignment, and he listened intently with an amused grin. 

He was still intent on making his big confession, but every time he'd even gotten close, he'd say your name and you looked at him with the sweetest eyes and he'd decide to say something else. He kept trying to hype himself up but the effect you had on him was palpable.

But there you were; it was all so easy and effortless between the two of you. He could have listened to you ramble on your hours and watched in amazement as you carried on. The boy definitely had it bad for you.

"Ithinkiminlovewithyouhoneybee," his eyes widened in surprise as he hadn't actually meant to say it then and there. It had just happened - right as he was taking a bite of his own sandwich. His cheeks flushed a brilliant crimson as you set down your own sandwich and looked at him curiously. You weren't sure what he had said, but in your gut you had a feeling. But you didn't want to get your hopes up either.

Clearing your throat, you slowly sat back up and tilted your head to the side to look at him curiously. His whole body seemed to be vibrating with nervous energy as you stared at him, "Frankie, what was that? I-I didn't catch what you said."

"Umm," he was sheepish suddenly as he faced the ground and played nervously with a few blades of grass. Reaching over, you gave his hand a squeeze, along with a gentle smile, "I...I'm in love with you."

A smile immediately spread across your face as you leaned towards him and reached for his hand. His breath hitched in his throat as he watched your anxious expression and eyes widened, "w-what did you say?"

"I love you," he whispered softly, "I've been trying to to figure out how to tell you for a long time. So...here it is, I guess. I-I hope that doesn't make things awkward."

"You love me?" your heart felt like it was about to beat out of your chest. He nodded as you stammered nervously, "I love you too, Francisco. I love you so much."

"Honey Bee-"

But you didn't even give him a chance to say anything else before you lunged over and straddled his lap, and wrapped your arms around his neck. His surprised expression quickly turned to a look of bliss as you pressed your lips to his. 

It was an easy dance, one you'd both gotten familiar with, as you kissed one another until you were both breathless and flushed. He chased after your kiss swollen lips with his own plush ones, grinned with each peck.

"I love you so much," your declaration was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard, "its always going to be you, Francisco, I just know it."

"Always and forever, Honey Bee," he promised as he laid back on the soft blanket and pulled you on top of him, "only you."

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Always and forever," you kissed his cheeks followed by his nose, and then his lips, "I guess in the end we weren't wrong after all."

"I guess not," he agreed as he gently squeezed your hips, "thank you for everything. You've always given me nothing but love and support. I don't where I'd be without you."

You opened your mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by a small, gentle bark.

"Or you, Miss Daisy," he reached over and petted her, "my girls."

"She has an important question for you," you shot her a wink before turning back to Frankie. Your hands went to his shoulders as you gently squeezed them, "she wants to know if you'll spend the weekend with us."

"Hmm," he reached up and stroked his scruff thoughtfully for a moment as you momentarily wondered if you had pushed him too far. What if it was too much? What if he wasn't ready for that? What if he was nervous? What if - "I'd like that. A lot."

"Yeah?" you asked softly as he laughed lightly before offering you a firm nod, "that's good because I might have some plans for you."

Just as he did when he was younger, Frankie started to blush, a brilliant warm flush coloring his tan skin. Frankie leaned in towards you, brushing his nose against yours as he breathed you in. Little by little,  he became more familiar with you again, your touch, your taste, your everything. In some ways it was like no time had passed and in some ways it was like he was getting to you know all over again. Either way, he was thoroughly relishing in every single moment.

"How can I turn down an offer like that?" there was a wicked little grin on your face as innocently shrugged. The two of you stared at each other from some time, unspoken silence passing between each other. Some things just didn't need to be said.

"You'll stay?"

"Always," he promised as he sat back and pulled you against his chest. You put your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arms around him as best as you could before sighing contentedly. You'd never thought you'd experience this type of happiness again; nothing with Chad had ever come close. Not even the best moments and experiences with him had come close to this. That told you everything you needed to know, "what are you thinking, honey?"

"A lot of things and yet nothing at once," you admitted, "about how with you even the smallest things mean so much. About how if I hadn't seen you at that coffee shop that day my life would have been so different now. Like how everything seemed to happen exactly how it needed to."

"Would you have married him if you hadn't seen me?" 

"I...I don't know," you confessed and he rubbed soothing circles on your back as you listened to the light sound of the insects and animals singing their night time songs, "I don't know if I would have been strong enough to come to the same conclusions I now have. I think by now I might have been married and miserable, probably trying to convince myself I was happy."

"You deserve so much better than him," he promised as he kissed your forehead, "he was never good enough for you."

"I know that now," you agreed with a nod as you studied his eyes which seemed to be able to see into your soul, "I have you, don't I?"

"Who knows if I'm even good enough for you," there was a moment of pause as he stroked your cheek and you huffed in light announce. You knew why he was feeling this way, but you also knew that he was more deserving of you than anyone else, "some days it feels like a dream - to love and be loved by you."

"You always have been and you always will be, Francisco Morales," closing your eyes, you pressed your forehead against his, "please don't ever think you're ever not good enough for me. You are perfect for me - neither one of us is perfect, we're flawed beings - but together you and I are meant to be. I will spend every day of my life showing you that if I need to."

For the first time in a long time, Francisco Morales was able to close his eyes and breathe freely - lightly. He hadn't felt like this in a long time, so happy and loved and full of hope. 

That's how he knew it was always meant to be you.

"What are you thinking about, baby?" you pushed a rogue curl off of his forehead.

"I love you," he promised, "I want this - all of it - with you."

"Then you will have it. I love you more than you will ever know."

»»————-　♡　————-««

Permanent Taglist:  @queenbbarnes  @persephonesnebula   @ah-callie  @blushingwueen  @thisis-theway @rosetophighlander  @rae-gar-targaryen    @hiscyarika  @readsalot73  @huliabitch  @ollyoxenfrees @coffeeandtodd  @beepbeepsephy   @scarlettwitcher  @nerdyknightwritersblog  @choicesarcade  @arrowswithwifi  @everythingaboutnothingstuff  @suckerfor-fanfics  @bestintheparsec @javihoney  @aeryntheofficial  @hail-doodles @engineeredfiction @aeryntheofficial  @asgardianvamp21  @keithseabrook27  @karmezii  @dearspacepirates  @thatsuitlooksgoodonyou  @paintballkid711 @mrpascals @lv7867 @artsymaddie @gooddaykate @rosiefridayrogersunday @heyitmelexie @criminalmind1927 @justanotherblonde23 @coni-martina @thewayofthemandalorian @phoenixhalliwell @lucifer @cosmoschick @kochamcie @linkpk88 @leaiorganas @nikkixostan @haley-the-comet @chibi-yuki @computeringturtle @4ng3lf43 @intu-witch-tion @wondergal2001 @gingerbreadandpaper @willowtheewisp @milkxxkookies @smollpinkgirl @zukoyonce  @boomtownboy @velia27 @discowitchyy @kiss-evans @theorganasolo  @mishasminion360 @its--fandom--darling​ @emmy626 @nyasiaaaaa​ ​

Frankie Taglist:   @misslolasworld  @annathewitch  @synystersilenceinblacknwhite  @mrscrain-x7 @jaime1110 @lokiaddicted @prettylittlegoldfish @heythere-mel @mrsparknuts @mrpascals @agingerindenial @knittingqueen13 @wickedfrsgrl @rogueonestan @i-ship-it-ironically @lv7867 @heyitmelexie @lordmotherofcats @godohammers @stitchers-in-stitches @none-of-your-bullshit @ghostwiththemostbitch @computeringturtle @hayley-the-comet @bex-03 @emesispo @wille-zarr @driedgreentomatoes @mrsdaamneron @laymegentlytorest @crazyworldofsiani  @magikfanatic @ruthdjarin @fruit-of-my-hoechoins  @sarahjkl82-blog​ @disgruntledspacedad ​

[deaththesyd]

To The Brink Of Confession: Chapter 3, Trapped

Finally done! I think I got a little carried away with the length, but I just couldn't stop writing! Hope y'all enjoy the final chapter! Also, per request @mytanuki-kun

Summary: Trapped in her domain, taking on what was left to fester.

The day he had been dreading finally arrived, and he was forced back into her proximity with no place to hide. He still tried though, but when that didn’t work and she approached him, signaling him out of the group, there was simply no way to excuse himself without merely delaying the inevitable. He had been acting a coward, but was he really willing to risk running away? Causing a scene in front of his fellow Akatsuki members? He looked away from her only to meet the daring eyes of his partner, Itachi, who surely knew that he had been contemplating an excuse that would keep the wrath he could feel rolling off her in waves from unleashing upon him. Another moment of weakness and he turned away, and was caught off guard by the side glance he received from Hidan of all people. Kisame was trapped, and the woman in front of him was growing impatient with his lack of a timely response. He had no choice but to face the consequences of his actions.

Following her nervously to her room, he was both thankful to be out of the spotlight and wished to be as far away from her as possible. Staying away from her had felt like hell, yet stepping into her room and watching as she furiously slammed the door closed, he felt as though he had found a fate much worse. Wanting to look away, save himself the torment of watching her, but still yearning to take any scrap of attention she could give won out easily. Running a frantic hand through her hair, she was unable to stand still, her normal fidgeting increased under the stress of her emotions, she began to pace in front of him, quietly fuming and gathering her thoughts. The moment of silence didn’t last long enough in his opinion. “What the hell is up with you?” She spoke loudly, obviously not expecting a response. “At first, I just thought maybe you needed space, that you were tired or something! But then a month goes by and you’re ‘busy’ on a mission! What a load of bull!”

Kisame remembered when he had requested that she be placed with another pair while he and Itachi traveled, the excuse had seemed reasonable enough. It seemed as though she hadn’t bought it.

“And now that you’re here, you’re absolutely silent! Nothing to say?” She growled, the accusation sounded more like she was daring him to say anything, rather than an opportunity to give an explanation. “Of course you don’t, just like you haven’t for the past few months!” The pent-up anger was unleashed, and all he could do was stand awkwardly, gritting his teeth and wishing he wasn’t the one who caused all of this to happen in the first place. Even when she was venting her anger at him, pacing back and forth frantically, she was the one who made his heart ache with longing. “I thought we were friends! I thou-”

“We were!” He broke in, but he realized his mistake when she paused in her movements and turned to look at him helplessly before her anger masked the pain.

“Were?” She shrieked, “What the he-”

“Are! I meant are!” He cut her off to correct his mistake,” God, Woman, obviously, I didn’t-”

“Guess I’m just an irrational woman then,” she hissed, cutting him off in return.

Glaring down at her, his frustration was met with a fiery challenge that came from her own gaze.

But she turned away first, most likely to hide the tears that had collected along her waterline. He was glad she had turned away at that moment because seeing her cry because of him twisted his expression in a way he couldn’t hide. When she spoke again, if he hadn't seen her tears before, he would have known she was crying by the slight waver in her voice. “If we’re friends, why have you been avoiding me?” It sounded like she was trying to sound angry, but all he could hear was her defeated tone and the way she struggled to steady her voice.

“I haven’t, I was busy with a mission,” he tried to dig into the lie, but he already knew it was a lost cause.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” She muttered, still cowering away, still trying to hide the tears that blurred her vision.

She wasn’t, he knew that, yet he kept his mouth shut.

“Am I just annoying?” She tried, pausing a breath to wait for a response, when he still didn’t say anything she continued, “Am I too emotional? Too hard to put up with, too needy? I’m not fun enough, or maybe I’m too loud, quiet? Am I too soft? So weak you can’t stand to be around me anymore?” Her emotion-filled voice rose with every new insecurity she listed and it didn’t seem like she was going to stop anytime soon. “You always have to take care of me, I’m sure it gets old, right? Spending your earnings on extra food, clothes, and supplies. Needing to break so often because a useless civilian like me can't keep walking day and night on a mission like a super-strong ninja like you. Giving up your own comfort so that I’m warm, throwing yourself in front of harm's way because I wouldn’t be able to survive even the wimpiest jutsu, wasting your energy on reassuring me that things are fine even when you’re fighting, it’s all too much and it’s all my fault.” Somewhere along the line, it seemed as though she wasn’t mad at him anymore, and the guilt hit full force when she turned to blaming herself.

“That’s not it,” he managed to say through gritted teeth, and she finally looked at him, angry tears running down her face. He could hear the scraping in his mouth from the amount of pressure he applied as he used all his strength to keep his face guarded and impassive.

“Then what is it about me that made you leave!?” She yelled, and he didn’t think about the words that came out in response.

“I can’t have you!” He yelled back, and suddenly the electric air that had crackled around them since the yelling had begun was no longer present. What had her tears dragged from him?

Raising his voice at her had been his last intention, right next to confessing his feelings, and he regretted it as she stepped back and pressed back against the door looking up at him in shocked bewilderment. The mix of her eyes on him, and his embarrassment at his loss of control made him feel like a pit opened in his stomach, and heat rushed up his neck as if to choke him. Right at that moment, he wished it would. Scaring her away wasn’t what he planned on doing, but for a second he feared that was what he had done. The initial shock wore off quickly though, and against the backdrop of tear tracks still fresh and glistening, her eyes became determined.

Pushing off from her spot against the door she took only a small step forward, but he stepped away, fearing what the look in her eyes meant. His whole life he had been a predator, but caught in her gaze he felt unsure if he was really the one to fear. Again she moved closer, and in response, he did the opposite. “What do you mean by that?” She asked quietly, once again closing the distance, and pushing him further away. “What do you mean you ‘can’t have me’?” She pressed, voice firm, her tone no longer angry. He wanted her to go back to being angry, that was better than the shame he felt now. He felt cornered, and when he ran out of space for retreat, the backs of his knees bent, forcing him to sit on her bed. Even with him sitting, she was just barely taller than him, yet he felt so small as she seemed to leer over him, blocking his exit. “Kisame,” she urged expectantly, “Tell me.”

He couldn’t break eye contact, not under this pressure, and the red puffy skin around her eyes was what made him give in. He had already said the worst thing possible, there was nothing else he could add to make her more disgusted. But was she really that disgusted if she could stand to be so close? The tiniest bit of hope managed to worm itself into his thoughts, and he couldn’t squash it when she looked at him so patiently. A lump had formed in his throat without him noticing and he gulped it down before he answered. “I can’t-” he started, then rethought, “I mean-” he struggled, not knowing how to tell her she was an unobtainable beauty for a murderous monster like him, that he was a subhuman beast that couldn’t ever hope to have her held in his arms, that she was meant for someone that was normal, and better looking, that he had spent the entirety of his life knowing that he was unlovable and that he was stupid enough to fall for her anyway. There were so many words that could have worked, but he couldn’t string together a complete sentence under the stifling atmosphere. The smallest part of him hoped she would give up on getting him to say anything, that she would give him some pity, but the rest of him felt this moment was a worthy punishment for the stupid desire he still had to hold her heart as she already did his.

So focussed on his sputtering attempts at supplying an answer, he jolted when her hand cupped his cheek, and he froze when she gently brushed her thumb along a gill slit. His eyes probably bugged out of his head in disbelief, but her own was glossed over in pensive thought. He didn’t dare move, and his head should have been spinning with thoughts, but instead, it was blank, nothing but the gentle warmth of her touching his face seemed to register. She spoke slowly, not meeting his questioning eyes, her thumb still rubbing back and forth along his cheek, “This was all because…” She focussed on him again, and he had no clue how he hadn’t seen the tears starting once again, “You have feelings for me?” Absolutely dumbfounded, he couldn’t speak, focussed on her teary gaze, he simply nodded. And then he was knocked backward.

It happened so fast, it took him a moment to process it all. The first thing he felt was the wet that seeped through his shirt, followed by the warmth of the sobbing woman shoving herself into him, fisting fabric as she buried her sobs into his chest. Another moment of half laying on her bed with her sprawled on top of him and he felt his arms wrap around her, gently, unsure if he should, if he was allowed, but she didn’t protest, and he felt too greedy to restrain himself. They lay there for what seemed like forever, but he still couldn’t find any words that were worth saying, and she was preoccupied with drenching his shirt. What possessed him, he had no clue, but one arm slid up her back and a hand began to comb through her hair carefully. She didn’t protest, and he momentarily noted that it was the only time she hadn’t when he touched her hair. It was soft, the tangles that caught on his fingers pulled apart without resistance, and if he focused, he could faintly smell the scent of her shampoo. It was nice, the sweet fragrance fit her. He felt creepy sniffing her hair like an animal, so he turned his head away from the tempting smell. The longer he played with her hair, the more her crying died down, until she stopped. The silence continued, only broken by her deep breaths as she tried to regain some composure. His hand still resting on her back began to rub firm circles in a way that felt natural. Once again, she either didn’t mind, or she simply lacked the energy to stop him, but once he started he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Especially not when the grip on his shirt lessened and she relaxed her tense muscles.

“You’re so stupid,” she muttered, and it hurt, but it felt right to finally hear her rejection. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to stop his greedy hands from taking what they could. “What do you mean, ‘I can’t have you’?” She laughed humorlessly, and he was confused, didn’t she know? Ripping his hands away the moment they were met with resistance, he looked at her as she pressed up from her position on his chest. “You already have me,” she said, her voice gentle and reassuring, as she moved to hover over him, repositioning herself, before lowering herself to press her lips to his. Kisame had been kissed before, he wasn’t completely inexperienced, but the soft press of her lips to his was enough to make him forget to respond, and by the time he caught up with what had happened, they were gone. Caught off guard once again, he hadn’t closed his eyes, and he saw her eyes flutter open as she put space between them again, shifting her weight to tuck her hair behind her ear as she leaned over him, stunning him with the affection clear in her adoring gaze. “You’ve had me this whole time.”

It felt so unreal, all of his actions couldn’t have been his, yet who else’s could they have been? Greedy hands pulled her down, needy mouth pressed against hers, eliciting sighs that he wasn’t ready to accept were caused by him, running his hand through her silky locks again, taking advantage of the high chance that this would never happen again. But it did, they had to come up for air, but almost immediately she was panting against his lips, trying to force her tongue in between his sharp teeth, and how could he deny her? One of her hands tugged on his hair, while the other was too busy supporting her to join, an issue he fixed by pulling her into the center of his chest. Her technique was rusty, but the longer their kiss held, the more easily she could pull groans from him, her now free hand cupping his jaw for a better angle. What brought him back into reality was the heat that was beginning to gather in his groin, and he wasn’t about to push his luck. Holding her back caused her to whine, but she instead shifted her attention to his neck, peppering it with fluttery kisses, they tickled and he felt her shake as a laugh rumbled through his chest.

“Shouldn’t we talk about this?” He asked, making her huff as she halted her affections to prop herself up on his chest to glare at him sternly.

“That can wait, first you have to deal with the consequences of your actions,” she instructed.

“And what might those be?” He asked, feeling uneasy at the threat in her words. She may return his feelings, but up to now, he had acted so unforgivably.

The evil smirk she attempted to pull off held only a fraction of a second before it softened and she pressed a gentle peck on his forehead, and another just above his brow, then along the side of his face, lips fluttering down till they met the corner of his own. “You just have to stay here while I smother you in my kisses,” she said before she began the cycle of kisses again along the other half of his face. A disbelieving breath of laughter left his gasping lips, it didn’t feel real at all, even as her lips trailed down to his collar and began to leave sloppy open-mouthed kisses on the sensitive skin, he had to be dreaming. His breath hitched as she found a sweet spot and she applied suction, swirling her tongue along what was sure to be a bruised purple later. The distraction that her promise had given him ended as her ministrations caused him to be reminded of a quickly rising issue.

Turning his head away from her he managed to sputter out a plea for her to stop. Reluctantly, she did, looking confusedly at him. “Too much?” She asked, trying to get him to meet her eyes, then more worriedly, “Was that not okay?”

Trying to reign in his breathing and slow his racing heart rate was taking more effort than it should’ve, but he forced himself to look at her, simultaneously appreciating the beauty that hovered above him, and cursing himself for making her think he didn’t want everything she could give. “Too much,” he confirmed, making her relax a tad bit, “It’s just a lot to handle all at once.” Giving him an understanding look she pressed off of him, moving to sit on the bed next to him. Feeling as though that was her taking his words as a cue to leave, he frantically sat up as well, ready to reach for her should she get up from the bed, but his fear of rejection was unfounded as she placed a calming hand just above his knee. Her warm touch grounded him and he forced himself to calm down. Funny as it was, the space she gave allowed him time to process what had happened without the near suffocating amount of feelings being fed into. Probably feeling similarly, she sighed in content, keeping her space, staying mostly quiet, but she never took her hand away from him as he took advantage of the pause in activity to think.

Now knowing his choice to try and save himself from the pain of being around her was one of the least helpful ways to handle his emotions, and that all along she had craved him in the same way, he felt like the biggest fool. Of course, he had noticed some of the more odd things she did around him, like how she seemed to be flustered by his touch, but he had always taken that as her disguising her disgust, not that the addictive warmth that lingered made her just as excited as him. The laugh he worked so hard to hear, the one that ripped snorts and unfeminine seal noises from her, the one that seemed to infect him with an unstoppable need to laugh as well, was music to his ears as his rough throaty chuckles were to hers. All the times he had caught her staring, it wasn’t because she had simply spaced out, nor was it because she was appreciating someone else’s looks, she had been admiring him. The anger and worry he gave her when he took a risk in battle were more than her fretting over him more because she thought he wasn’t strong enough, she chastised him because she couldn’t stand to see him get hurt while protecting her. Within only a few moments of collecting his thoughts and putting things together, it was so obvious now how his self-doubt had clouded his ability to see what was clear as day to everyone around him. She really had been transparent about her feelings this entire time, and he had simply waved them away, trapped in his self-pity.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Whipping her head to look at him, taken aback, she must not have understood what he was apologizing for. He didn’t let her worry a second longer, as he gently held her chin and lifted her lips to meet him for a soft kiss. It wasn’t long, only a few seconds, but this one eased her more than any of the ones before. Pulling away, he was gifted the sight of her eyelids slowly opening, revealing expectant eyes. Kisame hoped that was a common thing he was going to be able to see from now on. “I shouldn’t have run away from you like that, I was just…” He trailed off as he strained to admit the word he knew was right. Shifting closer, her other hand reached for the closest of his, encouraging him to continue. No matter what he said, she wasn’t going anywhere. Still ashamed, he finished, “A coward. Being around you always felt so bittersweet, it felt so good when you laughed at my jokes and fed into my antics, but knowing that I wasn’t worth anything more than someone to pass the time with to you was torture.”

Stupid as he felt confessing to her, she didn’t laugh, just leaned her head into his shoulder, squeezing affectionately his leg. He continued, needing to let her know why he had ever allowed himself to hurt her. “I’ve spent my life being nothing more than a monstrous weapon, even in a group like the Akatsuki, my appearance still stands out, and not in a good way.” Feeling her nuzzle into his arm, her way of showing her disagreement, he felt nothing but warm affection for her, thankful she was a rare outlier from the rest of the world. “Allowing myself to consider that I had a chance with someone as amazing as you hurt more every time I remembered just how much of a freak I am,” he chuckled when he heard her whine in response, but she didn’t interrupt further. “Eventually everything you did just made me upset that you couldn’t feel the same way, and I made up my mind to distance myself.” Getting his built-up feelings off his chest felt rather therapeutic. Having her pressed against him, entwining their hands made all of his pent-up worries ebb away.

“Promise that from now on you’ll talk to me instead of leaving me stressed and confused?” She pleaded when he stayed silent.

Leaning down to indulgently breathe in her scent as he pressed his lips to the top of her head, he promised.

Staying like that for a while, they simply took in everything that had happened in the quiet. At least that was what he was doing until she started giggling to herself. “What’s so funny?” He spoke into her hair, vibrating along with her cute laughter.

“Is that why you were so insistent that I stopped?” She said through her soft laughing. Startled, he pulled away and looked down at his lap, seeing the almost forgotten product of his earlier arousal outlined clearer than normal. Distracted by all the emotional stuff he hadn’t realized how obvious his need had become. Heat washed over his entire body in embarrassment as he sputtered an apology. Still giggling the whole time, his mortification only made her laugh harder. Despite his efforts to escape her hold, she pressed herself close once again, choking out apologies of her own. “It’s alright, I’m probably a mess down there too,” she admitted, making him choke on air, causing her to laugh even harder. The deepening blush that took over his face began to make him sweat, but he tried to relax. Clearly, she wasn’t upset. Recovering from her little giggling fit, she looked up at him shyly smiling. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, so I’m glad you stopped me,” she expressed, but with more confidence, she added, “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to eventually.”

Just when he thought his body temperature couldn’t be raised further. He chuckled though, “I wouldn’t mind if you never were, as long as I can hold you,” he swore sincerely, making her snort, “But I look forward to the day when you’d let me take care of the mess I’ve made.” He teased, making her squeal before laughing again, hiding her face against his arm. As cute as her reaction was, his arousal was becoming too distracting. “I should go take care of this though,” He said reluctantly, making her shove away from him, ushering him towards the door.

“Go do that, you know where to find me when you’re done anyway,” she said, using her now free hands to fix her hair. He couldn’t resist reaching back to muss it back up before he left, laughing at her upset whine.

If only he had known of the teasing he would get from his fellow Akatsuki members who had heard the heated conversation loud and clear through the thin walls, he would have stayed and delayed the inevitable. But even though he was relentlessly teased, especially after Hidan noticed the stirring in his pants, at least he had her to look forward to from now on.

[chaolie]

Home is where your heart is [1/3] - Accidental adoption

So, for the Yogurt Days @fundyfiles organized I decided to kind of... just make a fic? Each chapter will show Yogurt slowly growing up, and they can be read separately but together, they create an entire story! Also this ended up super long but hey, that's fine! And you can also read it on my Ao3!

Characters: Fundy, Yogurt

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: Injury (not described closely but still)

Chapter 2: Tumblr / Ao3

The sun was beginning to set, and with each minute the forest was growing more dangerous, so Fundy didn’t pay too much mind to anything that wasn’t a monster or a tree in his way. He spent the day walking around, trying to remember any places worth visiting later, he was fairly new to the area after all. He found a few clearings with berries, a couple of promising-looking caves, and a nice, cool stream he could start getting his water from sometime soon, so he considered this trip to be rather successful. He wasn’t too far from his newly-built cottage when he heard a surprisingly loud cry. It didn’t sound like any monster he knew, it was worryingly human-like instead, and whatever was making it seemed to be distressed.

“H- Hello?” he called out into the forest. Rather than answering, the same sound reached his ears again. “Who’s there?!” he demanded, and the noise that followed was somewhat muffled.

He cautiously looked around, nothing seemed to be approaching him, the sun still offered a few more minutes of some light, and he figured it couldn’t be a trap… who would try to trap him of all people? He was the only one living nearby, and even that was new. Another cry came, and each time he heard it, it resembled someone screaming as if they were getting murdered. Slowly, he reached for his sword before taking the first cautious steps in the direction the noise was coming from. Then, silently cursing himself for not doing the more rational thing, he sped up. Whoever was yelling, they’d probably die the second the sun fully sets, and if he ever finds out it was someone he knew… he’d never forgive himself.

“Where are you?” he called out, trying to sound less demanding than previously. Still, the cries seemed to be growing closer yet quieter, as if whoever was hurting was trying to hide. “I want to help, I-” he tried to explain, but as he entered a small clearing, he stopped. “...Oh.”

He found the source of the cries. In the dark green grass, surrounded by deep-brown tree trunks and the night’s shadow, there it was. A small, snow-white fox kit staring back at him with wide eyes, frozen in its place. After a moment of just watching him, it let out the all-too-familiar-now cry and took a tiny step back. Fundy’s heart sank when he noticed the wound on one of the animal’s legs, but all the doubt about following the cries left his mind. Even if it’d mean staying out for the entire night, he would still want to help.

“...Hey there,” he muttered as softly as he could, trying to step forward. The kit took a few more clumsy steps before losing its balance and almost tripping, all while its eyes seemed to widen even more.

Oh, right. Of course. It was a wild fox after all. Fundy shouldn’t expect it to trust a human. Even if the human in question had fox ears and a tail, he was far from being trustworthy in this situation. This, however, brought him to a new idea. He closed his eyes and it took a little effort and energy, it always did, but when he reopened them after a moment, he was a bit shorter, and much more fox-like. He didn’t shapeshift too often, staying in the more animalistic form usually earned him nothing but stares and mean jokes, but it did make at least some animals trust him faster. Hoping that this would be the case this time as well, he took another step forward.

“It’s alright, see?” he said, and while the fox seemed to stay tense, it didn’t try to run again, just watching him curiously this time.

He finally got close enough to crouch down right in front of it. It still stayed in its place, so he took this opportunity to take a better look at its leg. There was some blood, and the wound seemed fresh but, to his relief, not too serious. The kit was probably more shocked and disoriented than in pain, which he figured was a better option. Still, he didn’t think leaving it alone and unattended was something he should do. No matter how non-lethal, the wound should still be taken care of. With a sigh, he carefully reached forward. Oh, he was so ready for the fox to bite him, and if it did, he couldn’t even blame it.

“I’ll help you, okay? I- I’ll take you somewhere safe and we’ll fix up your leg,” he explained despite knowing that the fox probably didn’t understand a word. “I’ll have to carry you there, I think. Please stay calm…”

He reached forward and carefully put his hands on the fox’s sides. It didn’t react by trying to run again, perhaps a bit too surprised to do that, but he didn’t waste his opportunity and picked it up. Only when he was back to his feet and ready to start walking home, the animal yelped and started to squirm in his arms, trying to paw at his hand rather than biting it. Confused and alarmed by its reaction, he tried to hold it in a more comfortable way only to notice a small scratch on its side. It was even less serious than the wound on its leg, it wasn’t even bleeding, but if he accidentally put his hand over it…

“Sorry, sorry,” he hushed, changing the way he held the fox to make sure he doesn’t touch any of its wounds. “I’m not trying to hurt you,” he assured and for some unexplainable reason, the kit seemed to calm down at that. Who was he to question that, though?

***

The next morning, Fundy woke up in his giant bed with no memory of a nightmare nor any signs of having one. The best way to start a day, in his humble opinion. He did, however, have a fox kit curled up in one of the bed’s corners, still asleep without a care in the world. Its wounds were covered and it was on a great way to full recovery, Fundy could probably let it go back into the forest in a day, or even earlier, without feeling guilty about doing so. Carefully, he got to his feet, put on his jacket, and snuck over to one of the chests. He wanted the animal to rest some more, it must’ve been very tired the night before. Because how else could he explain how calm it stayed while he fixed its wounds?

He opened the chest, briefly searched through it, pulled out a few berries he put away the day before so he could have them for breakfast, and looked back at his bed. The white fox was already looking back at him, rather curious that alarmed, still curled into a ball. Fundy slowly looked between his little guest and the food in his hand before sighing and approaching it.

“Hungry?” he asked, and the fox seemed to perk up at the question. Once again writing it off as a coincidence, he held out a few berries for the animal to take. “Of course you are,” he sighed while the kit ate all he handed to it and looked at him as if asking for more. Without a word, he placed a few more berries on his bed. “...How are you feeling?”

The fox paused from eating and looked directly at him. Then, its tail wagged slightly and it let out a cheerful little yip before returning to the food. Not an answer Fundy expected, but he expected to get nothing, and this was much better than that. With a muffled chuckle, he placed the last few berries in front of the animal, figuring his guest deserved them for being such a smart little fox.

“That’s good to hear. Eat all of them, buddy. I’m sure I’ll find some more for myself,” he assured. Just before taking the last one, the fox paused, looking between the food and Fundy a couple of times. For a moment, the fox hybrid stayed silent, but when it became apparent that his guest was sharing with him, he finally reached for the berry. “How gracious of you,” he sighed. A single berry wasn’t too much, but it was the thought that counted, wasn't it?

Fundy decided to ignore the fact that normal, wild foxes usually don’t have too many thoughts.

***

A little short of a week passed, and Fundy once again woke up in his bed with no hint of a nightmare. The fox kit, now fully recovered, was sleeping on the pillow right next to his head and he could swear every morning it seemed to be getting closer. He figured it was a sign of growing trust rather than an attempt to suffocate him in his sleep one night, and he preferred that option. It surely seemed to grow more attached to him each day, or maybe it just liked free food? Regardless, it rarely wanted to leave the cottage, and if it did, it was quick to return.

He took a moment to look over the fox, or Yogurt, as he decided to call it, before sitting up in his bed with a fond smile. He couldn’t quite explain it, but having it by his side was strangely comforting. Sure, he might’ve moved to the middle of nowhere strictly to avoid anyone and everyone, but he’d still pick his new companion over full solitude any day. It was a delight to be around, really, even if he now had to gather almost two times as many berries to keep both of them fed. Speaking of, he left the bed and approached the chest now designated to hold food. He opened it and looked at the bed only to see the fox wake up and swiftly raise its head at the sound.

“Good morning,” he chuckled to himself as the animal got to its feet and jumped off the bed to join him by his side. “Looks like someone’s hungry?”

He held out a few berries in his hand and Yogurt didn’t even hesitate before taking them and starting his breakfast. The fox hybrid reached back into the chest and got some more food for himself before going to sit on the edge of his bed. He still hadn’t shifted back into his humanlike form, at first it was to keep his guest more comfortable, then out of worry, he really didn’t want to scare the kit, even if he was suspecting it wouldn’t leave him even if he tried to chase it off. He watched it finish the food and jump back onto the bed, curling up by his side and leaning its head against him, and he was convinced it felt at home around him. Surely it wouldn’t run off if he shifted back…

There was one way to check.

“Hey, Yogurt?” he started, and the kit raised its head back up. “I want to show you something,” he announced, getting off the bed and stretching briefly. When he looked back, the fox was already sitting up, watching him curiously. He always admired how smart his companion appeared to be, it was as if it understood everything he said. “It’s a bit of a trick, okay? And please don’t… panic? It’s not something bad.”

The fox kit continued to stare at him, which was as much of a response as he expected. If it got scared of a more human version of him, he’d just change back and not try that again, it was as simple as that. After taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, and with just a bit of effort shapeshifted back into a human-with-fox-features. He looked back at Yogurt, fully expecting to see the animal backing away in fright, but instead it stayed in its place. It looked at this version of him with something similar to amazement or excitement in its eyes for a moment before closing its eyes to, trying to mimic what Fundy did to change into it.

“Aw, Yogurt,” he chuckled quietly, crouching down by the bed. “I don’t think it’ll work for you, buddy,” he informed. How could he not be fond of this little fox kit if that’s the first idea that came to its mind?

His smile faded into a mix of surprise and confusion when within a blink of an eye, the fox was gone. Well, gone might’ve been the wrong word to use, it was still there, just… not a fox. Instead of an animal, there was a human child sitting on Fundy’s bed. Mostly human, at least. A little boy looking up at him with a gleeful expression, wearing an old, oversized shirt, with a white, puffy tail behind his back and fox-like ears on his head. He had white, curly hair, blue eyes, and despite looking so awfully pale didn’t show any signs of being cold or sick.

“...Huh?” was all Fundy managed to say, looking over the child and trying to figure out how that happened.

The boy didn’t answer, but let out a happy-sounding noise and puffed out his chest in pride. Then, he looked up at the still-speechless man in front of him as if expecting praise, and when he noticed how shocked the man seemed, his grin slowly fell. He curled up slightly, keeping his hands close to himself, and the way he was looking at Fundy now made it seem like he wondered if he did something wrong. Just then the man finally shook off the surprise and found himself smiling. Who cares how this happened? All that mattered was that- Holy shit.

“H-hey, Yogurt!” he said, getting the little kid’s attention. “This is- Did you do that before? This is- good job!” he assured, and with relief watched the happy grin return to his guest’s face.

The child reached forward to him, leaving him lost as to how to respond to the gesture. He hesitantly reached forward too, and the second he was within the Yogurt’s reach, the boy grabbed his hand and impatiently pulled it closer. Then, he moved it up to reach for his hair, and Fundy had to admit that the curls were surprisingly soft for those belonging to a kid who probably didn’t know the meaning of “shower”. He absentmindedly petted Yogurt’s head, causing the boy to let out another joyful noise, and the situation slowly dawned on him.

This was a kid. In his house. In the middle of nowhere. With no parent in sight- who was he kidding, possibly no parent at all. A child holding onto his hand. A little boy he’s been taking care of for a little short of a week. A tiny shapeshifter he couldn’t possibly throw back into the forest, no, he’d never forgive himself if he even tried that… Was he ready for parenthood, though? Well, it’s not like he had too much of a choice in this situation.

With a soft smile, he ruffled Yogurt’s hair before taking his hand back, watching the boy look at him with confusion as to what just happened. Chuckling quietly, he got back up and carefully reached for the boy to pick him up, and he wasn’t met with any resistance. Instead, the kid gently clutched at the back of his jacket the second it was within his reach, pulling himself closer.

“Looks like I have a son,” Fundy muttered to himself, and the boy in his arms let out yet another happy squeal. And somehow, the man had a feeling it’d go okay.

***

Things did go okay. Relatively okay, at least. He managed to get his hands on some clothes that fit his new son, he made sure what foods he could eat, and he even managed to teach him a few words! Yogurt was a bright kid and a fast learner, that much became apparent early on, and it made some things easier. He was also very curious and would get almost-overly energetic, and while it led to some… less fun events, Fundy figured this was just the case with kids.

There was this one time Yogurt got hungry and went through the chests in search of food while Fundy was busy fixing his axe, which broke a few hours prior. He was just about done sharpening it again when he heard his son spitting loudly, a spider eye in hand, and this must’ve been the closest he was to a heart attack in his life. It didn’t end in an absolute disaster, he had some milk somewhere nearby and it didn’t take too much convincing to get Yogurt to drink it, easing the poison’s effects. And sure, the kid might’ve been bummed out for a couple of hours and complained about the bitter taste on his tongue no matter how much water he drank, but he was fine. He was okay.

Fundy threw out any spider eyes he had left in his house after that. No matter how much he liked to occasionally snack on them, they looked too much like berries, and he never wanted to see his son like that again.

Save for that accident, things were seriously going well. Yogurt started joining Fundy on his walks through the forest and could easily lead his dad to well-hidden clearings with the best berries either of them ever tasted. He also occasionally came along when the man was going caving, proudly holding the torch he was handed and bravely informing Fundy whenever he heard a suspicious noise coming from the darkness. They worked well when they were working together, Fundy figured. No matter how tiny, he now had two extra hands wherever he went. And if most of the time his son held onto his tail to make sure he didn’t get lost rather than "helping", so what? At least he wasn’t alone.

Despite moving here for some solitude, he hated the idea of it now.

Eventually, his nightmares returned. They always would, it didn’t take him long to realize that. He could now tell when they happened even before looking outside to find a desert, the empty spot in the bed said it all. And when he unavoidably woke up screaming, he didn’t have to wake up alone. The first time it happened, Yogurt was more confused than anything, the next few just made the boy look more and more concerned, but every time he was quick to give his dad the biggest hug he possibly could and refused to go back to sleep until the man was completely calm. Words could not express how much Fundy appreciated that.

***

The day Fundy decided to break the news to his son, Yogurt seemed to already sense that something was wrong. They sat down by the bed, two fully-packed bags by Fundy's side as he tried to pick his words right. The kid watched him with curiosity, and he was worried that no matter how he said what he had to, it’d upset the boy. But he had to tell him today.

“So, Yogurt…” he started nervously. “We’re moving?”

“...Mo… ving?” the boy repeated, tilting his head in confusion. Any other day, Fundy would be proud of him for learning to pronounce a new word, but he had something else to focus on this time.

“Yeah, moving. We’ll go live somewhere else. It’s a nice place, it’s not too hot there, and there are good people there,” he explained, but it didn’t seem to convince the kid, who now held his hands close to himself and watched the man with a small frown on his face.

“Why…?” he asked slowly.

“Well, I have a… friend there. He said we can move there. It’s good to live with other people, it’s safer,” he explained. Yogurt frowned and looked around the house they were in.

“Safe,” he stated finally, a word he learned well while keeping a lookout for monsters when caving.

“...Well, yeah, it’s safe here. It’s safer there, though. Imagine what would happen if a horde of monsters appeared here overnight. We would struggle to chase them off, right? And if we lived with more people, we could join forces. We’ll be safer there,” he explained in a way he figured the boy would understand. He apparently did, because his confusion was soon replaced by a saddened expression.

“...But.... home?” he asked, and Fundy couldn’t help but sigh.

“I know,” he nodded. “But look, this wasn’t always our home. I lived far, far away from here and you lived in the forest. It’s our home now and it’s nice, but… sometimes we have to go somewhere new. And it’s still home. Home is… where you feel safe and comfortable, yeah? And we’ll both feel like that in Las Nevadas,” he assured. The boy still seemed upset, but nodded along.

“...Okay,” he muttered. After a moment of hesitance, Fundy gently poked his son’s chest.

“You know what someone once told me when I didn’t want to move? That home is wherever your heart is. If you love the new place, it’ll be your home. If you love this house more, it’ll still be your home. Even if we won’t live here, we can always visit.”

If the fact that the man himself wasn’t sure how his explanation went from “Las Nevadas will be our home because it’s good” to “This cottage can still be our home if you like it, we just won't live here” was anything to go off of, it was a bad explanation. Though, after a moment of thought, his son took a step forward and trapped him in a hug. For a moment, the man thought he was just looking for comfort, and that maybe he should’ve put more thought into his words… But then he heard the boy mutter “Home” quietly, and suddenly he was the one doing his best not to cry.

From that day forward, Yogurt decided that no matter where he went, it would be his home. The berry patches, the caves, the cottage, and the new place. With his dad, it was a home.

[arteyhumano299]

You Keep Me Waitin’

Chapter 1: Feel Better (9k words)

Summary: Kagami and Marinette aren't that close— they’re friendship is relatively new and there's still some unresolved tension. Kagami has just experienced heart break for the first time, and her mother’s expectations are beginning to weigh on her. Marinette’s duties are doing a similar number on her, and painful realizations have also left her heartbroken. They realize they can use each other as an excuse to flee from their troubling lives. In each other they find unexpected comfort, and soon they're closer than either could have expected.

Available on Ao3 , fanfic.net , and Wattpad

Notes:

First fanfic I'm publishing in a while. So I made the creative decisions to make the characters slightly older, around 17,16 ish. It's just cause it makes me uncomfortable to write sexual tension between 14-15 year olds. Also, this fic takes place right after the break ups so like season 4, ep 2. I can't promise consistent updating schedule but I'm committing to this fic. This first chapter is pretty long, I don't have a set words per chapter limit so the chapters might be all over the place. Anyway. Enjoy :)

Kagami feels hollow. She felt hollow as she closed the door of the locker room. She felt hollow as she walked out of Françoise Dupont. She felt hollow as she made her way down the stone steps at the entrance of the collège. The sound of her shoes making contact with the ground made Kagami feel especially hollow —the only sound that rang in her ears. Said shoes carried her to Tatsu's red door. Eyes found the car’s window, Kagami grimaced at her own reflection.

She clutched Tatsu’s handle and swung the backseat door open, hoping to flee from her own eyes. Her head hung low, eyes on her lap, as she closed the door. Slowly, she lifted her head to face the window and the collège’s front gates. She took a deep breath before turning her eyes forward. “Take me home, Tatsu.”

The collège disappeared as Tatsu moved forward. Kagami exhaled. Her hands found their way into her fencing bag and she slowly retrieved her phone from the bundle of clothes and protein bars. She steeled herself as her phone lit up. The screen read 6:09 against a familiar picture Kagami had taken that day at the San Martin Canal. They were seated at the canal’s edge, Adrien’s chin smudged with ice cream and Kagami smiling giddily at having caught this momentary clumsiness. Adrien, oblivious to the desert decorating his face, grinning at the camera and leaning close to her. She pursed her lips as she felt a pang to her chest, and opened settings with a decisive press of the home button. Their twin smiles disappeared from her lock screen, replaced with an old picture of the Eiffel Tower— one she had taken when she’d first arrived in Paris. She’d grown accustomed to it by now, but the large monument had seemed so mystical when she first saw it.

A sense of exhaustion came over her and she let her neck fall backwards. Head falling on the seat’s headrest, the car’s ceiling filled her vision.

Had this been a mistake?

Kagami had always been rational. Her mother valued logic above all, putting her stakes only in what she could hope to benefit from. Mother had taught this principle to Kagami at an early age, and Kagami had taken it to heart. She put a lot of effort into her passions, assured that her work would pay off. She took her future seriously, recognizing that it would reflect all of her present decisions. She didn’t goof off or blow off responsibilities. She did her best to control her sometimes reckless personality. She wasn’t disobedient. And she certainly didn’t waste her time in mindless relationship games. But here she was now. Kagami had gone about dating Adrien the way she did most things: straight to the point, and with a set goal in mind. She had been decisive, and she wasted no time dancing around her feelings, thinking that it would pay off, like all other things had in her life. Sitting alone in a car, heartbroken, had not been the outcome she predicted. Could she have miscalculated?

Somewhere inside herself, she understood that she had been very clear about her feelings, and had worked hard to maintain their relationship– at times, even foolishly bended some of her values just to get closer to him. Adrien had been the one to lie, and had always been more apprehensive with his affection, like he was holding back and holding on at the same time. Right now though, Kagami doubted herself. She’d never been the type to, but maybe while she was blinded by her affections for Adrien, she’d lost herself.

Her mother would be disappointed. Kagami hadn’t exactly told her of their relationship, and thinking of the times she did stuff she would disapprove of just to spend time with Adrien, Kagami wasn’t sure if she wanted to. God.

Kagami had been so eager to get closer to Adrien, and latched on as soon as Adrien began to reciprocate her stares, she had acted foolishly hadn’t she?

Her eyes eventually found the window again, but she regretted it as soon as her eyes laid on the glossy dark waters of the San Martin Canal. She saw the green leaves of trees painted on the water’s surface.

Something coiled in her chest.

“Tatsu, stop.”

Suddenly overcome with emotion, Kagami pushed the car door open and exited onto the aligned stone slabs of the sidewalk. The door closed behind her, body facing the canal. A breeze swept Kagami’s bangs out of her face, drying the prickle of tears at the edge of her eyes. She walked closer to the canal and peered at her figure reflected on the water, her hands bunched in her skirt. The water was too far away for any of her features to be distinguishable but she stared at her reflection– her head of dark hair a blob dancing on the canal’s ripples. Her fists slowly unclenched and she lowered herself to the canal’s edge.

As her eyes followed the ripple of the water, Kagami wondered if getting overly self conscious about this break up was what was irrational. Obviously most relationships ended, and she couldn't expect her first lover to be her last. A memory of telling ladybug her and Adrien were meant to be crossed Kagami’s mind. She grimaced, cringing at the memory. Kagami had said it with bold certainty, confident that there was something special between them–an understanding she’d never experienced with anyone else. She hoped that maybe… that would be the case, once Adrien was ready he would apologize and realize what she had long ago. He didn’t trust her now though, so what assured her he ever would. Maybe the wound was too fresh to wonder about the future.

Kagami closed her eyes and felt another gust of wind flutter against her eyelids. She stood back up and began to walk along the canal.

As she walked further and further from Tatsu, she began to realize another issue. Was she going to ignore Adrien? She had told him she didn’t want to stay friends. Adrien’s distrust had stung her deeply– she had, after all, put a lot of energy and time into their relationship, and just returning to their old dynamic felt wrong. Were they just supposed to not acknowledge any of the remaining tension?

Adrien hiding stuff from her would sting regardless of their relationship, she cared very deeply for him– friend or lover. Kagami had to remind herself: don’t waste time and energy on fruitless efforts. If Adrien wasn’t gonna let up, Kagami would stop giving him the time of day. The opportunity to hurt her. She felt justified in her harshness, though Adrien was one of the only friends she’d ever had. Kagami began to wonder if any of this would seem ridiculous to someone more understanding and emotionally intelligent– Kagami admitted she felt short in that regard.

She admittedly was too caught up thinking of ways to figure this out to pay much attention to her surroundings. Mid thought, something slammed into her, or rather she slammed into someone. Kagami stumbled backwards, almost losing her footing but catching herself at the last minute. As soon as she regained her balance she looked up at the offended party to apologize. She was met with a familiar pair of blue bell eyes. Before she could muster up a ‘sorry’, Marinette beat her to it.

“Kagami! I’m so sorry! I was distracted and wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Her face was somewhat obstructed by boxes stacked on her arms- which she noticed were now off center.

“I’m sorry too, Marinette; I was also distracted.”

Marinette readjusted the boxes. “No, it was probably more on me. My limbs seem to have a mind of their own, a lot of people have fallen victim to my clumsiness.” Marinette’s face scrunched embarrassment.

“Well you are the one carrying boxes, I just bypassed pedestrian etiquette in my mindless daydreaming.”

Kagami could make out Marinette’s smile even with the obstruction to her face.

“That’s just like you to think getting distracted is a lapse of ‘pedestrian etiquette’.” She chuckled at Marinette’s phrasing of ‘pedestrian etiquette’. Marinette’s eyes peered at her quizzically.

“Are you alone, Kagami?”

“I am.”

That seemed to confuse Marinette as she looked around Kagami.

“I don’t mean to pry, but why are you walking down the San Martin Canal?”

Kagami looked back to the canal’s waters.

“I suppose...”, She tried to find an excuse as she faced Marinette again, " I thought the walk would be some nice, light exercise.” Marinette raised an eyebrow at her.

“Right after fencing? Shouldn’t you be having a meal?”

She was surprised that Marinette had any knowledge in the dietary guidelines of athletes. She’d never mentioned partaking in any active hobby to Kagami.

“I was just trying it out. ''

Marinette still seemed confused but shrugged and didn’t press further. Kagami’s eyes shifted to the boxes Marinette was still carrying.

“And you? Is there a reason you’re walking down a canal with an armful of boxes?”

Marinette seemed to remember what she was holding as her eyes flickered to the packages in front of her.

“Oh, right. I’m just making a delivery for the bakery.”

Kagami was now the one to question her with a raised eyebrow.

“On foot? With that tall of a stack?”

Her expression turned sheepish. “Bad idea in retrospect, considering my clumsiness and all.”

Kagami couldn’t help but smile. “What if I help you?”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “With my delivery?”

Kagami nodded.

��What about your light exercise?”

“Whether it be going home or making a delivery I’m still walking.”

Marinette’s cheeks pinked. “Oh, uh, guess you’re right.”

She approached Marinette and reached for the top couple of boxes, taking them into her arms and waiting for Marinette to readjust her arms again.

“Okay, it’s only two blocks from here.”

Marinette began to walk and Kagami moved to follow her pace.

“Do you often make deliveries for your parents’ bakery?”

“When they need to be done yeah; it’s my way of helping out.”

Kagami looked at her profile, her pigtails more hastily tied than usual and her cheeks a paler pink than she was used to.

“Have they been keeping you busy?”

“Ah, no more than usual.”

Marinette met her eyes momentarily and Kagami wondered if those were eyebags under her eyes.

“They try not to be too demanding.”

“Really?... Have you been testing lately?”

She saw Marinette turn to her and could almost feel her puzzlement.

“Uh, no?...”

Marinette faced the walkway again.

“Why do you ask?”

“I just haven’t heard from you lately.”

There was a pause.

“I’ve just been caught up in some stuff.”

Kagami sensed she didn’t want to elaborate so she kept her questions to herself.

“Well, It’s nice to see you, even in a somewhat odd situation.”

“I’m glad to see you too.”

Her smile became soft.

“I haven’t seen much of you either, but I understand you’ve also been… busy.”

The silence that followed hung for a second too long. Kagami wasn’t sure how she should interpret that— she’d never explicitly told Marinette about her and Adrien, but they hadn’t really hid their affection. “I…” Kagami sighed. “Yeah, I have been distracted with other… stuff.”

The silence continued and Kagami considered even noting the weather to fill it. Before she could stew in the silence any longer, Marinette cut through it with a boldness she wasn’t accustomed to seeing from her.

“How are things with Adrien?”

Kagami suddenly felt very insecure and the packages of pastries in her arms felt heavier.

“We weren’t very subtle were we?”

Marinette considered her question.

“You two have been getting pretty chummy for a while.”

“... I can see what you mean.”

“You know, it’s okay. I just really hope you don’t drop me, so you guys better not stop hanging out with me.”

Marinette’s attempt at lightening the mood was stunted by the tension. Kagami was too preoccupied with finding the right response to care.

“Well, of course, I wouldn’t abandon our relationship for Adrien.”

Kagami was too consumed in her nerves to notice the change in tone of Marinette’s silence.

“You don’t have to worry about my schedule being full though.”

Marinette laughed.

“Kagami, it’s natural for couples to spend a lot of time together, you don’t have to make time you don’t have for me. Don’t worry, I have other people I can get orange juice with.” She swallowed.

“I don’t doubt you do.”

They approached a crossroad and Marinette turned, Kagami following after her. She let it out before she decided against it.

“What I meant to say, is that you don’t have to worry about my schedule being full anymore.”

Marinette stopped abruptly but Kagami expected it. Her expression was hard to decipher.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that”, Kagami stepped closer to her. “Adrien’s no longer going to be taking up my time.”

Marinette’s eyebrows slowly furrowed, she searched her face and Kagami hoped Marinette couldn’t make out her insecurity.

“You…”

“We did.”

She faced forward once again. “It’s been the case for all of a half an hour.”

“Oh, God, Kagami, I’m so sorry.”

Kagami turned to shoot her a frown. Marinette shut her mouth before she could begin her rambling. She might not be feeling like herself but she still wasn’t below taking her pity.

“Obviously I’m still processing but quite honestly, the break up actually happened last night.”

“Oh.”

“I won’t need to see him until our next fencing lesson so I’ll have time to figure something out.”

They finally continued to walk.

“I mean, I bet Adrien will make an effort to keep things friendly.”

“That’s exactly what I fear.”

“What do you mean?”

Kagami kept her eyes forward. “I’m not planning on keeping our relationship as friendly as it was before.”

She hoped she didn’t sound bitter.

“That bad, huh?”

“Adrien made his decisions so I made mine.”

Kagami definitely sounded bitter.

“Well, then I guess you should start making time for another juice date.”

Marinette’s smile felt reassuring. She slowed down and stopped in front of a pair of glass doors. Kagami could make out a lobby from the large windows on either side.

“We’re here by the way.”

Kagami went ahead and opened one of the doors, holding it for Marinette who had the taller stack of boxes. Marinette allowed her act of chivalry and entered, Kagami following behind her. She looked around the lobby as Marinette advanced to the front desk, eyeing the cushions taking up most of the room, and wondering who had thought buying several loveseats for such a small lobby was a good idea. Marinette returned before Kagami could criticize the internal design further.

“Okay, we should be able to just go up and knock on the door.”

They made their way to the elevator and Marinette pressed the button to the fourth floor. They stood in silence for a few seconds.

“It wasn’t just me that noticed the disgusting orange loveseats was it?” Kagami smirked “I also noticed their incompatibility with the room, though I was more worried with the amount of floor plan they took up.” Marinette scoffed, “More like incompatibility with my eyes.”

This time Kagami actually laughed. The elevator doors opened and they made their way into a hallway lined with numbered doors.

“Okay, I think it was apartment 127.”

They scanned the doors until finding it: apartment 127. Kagami knocked and they waited for an answer. Kagami could hear the muted sound of rock music and laughter. Finally, the door’s handle shook and the door swung open. A short woman with brown hair dyed red stood at the entrance, her eyes taking them and their armful of boxes in.

“Oh, the pastries are here!” The woman pushed the door open further, and turned her head to the apartment.

“Arthur! Come help me with the pastries.” The woman turned back to them “Sorry, lovelies, I’ll get those off ya in a sec.” A man poked his head before joining the four of them at the entrance. He was significantly taller than the woman but had the same red hair.

“Those smell good”, he grinned.

“I can assure they taste just as good”, Marinette responded, sugar sweet, in what Kagami guessed was her customer service voice. The woman and man reached out and took the boxes from them and Kagami was glad to have the weight off her arms. She stretched them out as the woman looked through her wallet and placed some bills in Marinette’s hands. “Thank you, have a nice day, ma’am.”

“Have a nice day too, ladies.”

Marinette smiled at them as they closed the door. Then she also stretched her arms with a sigh. “Okay, let’s go.”

They entered the elevator, returned to the lobby, and then exited the apartment complex.

Marinette turned to her. “Thank you so much, Kagami, people don’t tend to order so much so it was probably for the best I ran into you.”

“It wasn’t a bother,” she could feel the smile on her lips, “It was also nice to catch up with you.”

Marinette grinned at her. “Well, I guess I’ll see you at another time. You should probably call Tatsu, you’ve had enough exercise for today.”

“Oh, are you my trainer, Marinette?”

“I’m your friend, so I’m more important.”

Kagami couldn’t argue with that. An idea popped into her brain and she pursed her lips.

“Let me walk you home, Marinette.”

Marinette blinked at her.

“Walk me home?”

“Yes.” She nodded awkwardly, “Walk you home.”

“Shouldn't you be home by now?”

That made Kagami pause— it was true her mother would figure out her absence pretty soon.

“It’s fine, I’ll just text my mother.”

“But you must be tired, I really wasn’t kidding about the exercise thing.”

Kagami disliked when people coddled her, but Marinette’s worry did actually make her feel cared for.

“I’ll be fine, Marinette, I always make sure to carry extra protein bars in my bag.”

Kagami paused and furrowed her brows. “That is unless you’d rather walk home alone, I’m sorry if my request was brash.”

Marinette shook her hands. “No, no, I just didn’t want you to over exert yourself. I know you always give it your all at your fencing practices.”

While Kagami had had a tiring day, Marinette’s company has helped both the ache of her muscles and her chest.

“I’m not that tired, besides,” Kagami moved to stand beside her, “we haven’t talked about our juice date.” She was rewarded with a bright smile.

“Okay, fine, if you’re sure.” Marinette began to walk and Kagami was right beside her.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to ask you where in the world you found a red lamé?”

“Well, Marinette, I pride myself in my dedication.”

They fell into step with each other, letting the conversation flow naturally. As they made their way through the streets of Paris, Kagami listened intently to Marinette’s rambling about old fabric dyeing techniques she’d been looking into. They finally found their way to Marinette’s doorstep and they waved each other goodbye.

She was aware she might return home to a lecture, but as Kagami saw Marinette enter her home, she recognized she felt better.

--------

Marinette rested her back on a chimney, her eyes raking over the other rooftops, waiting for an unexpected attack to pop out of them at any second. Chat was similarly seated next to her, though he didn’t seem quite as on edge as Marinette felt.

Now that the duo had to worry about Shadow Moth, Marinette felt like she was on edge as soon as she transformed. Chat sensed her unease, and regularly attempted to ease her tension with a lighthearted joke. Marinette appreciated his efforts, but she also didn’t want to be distracted —just in case.

She drummed her fingers on her lap and wondered if maybe they should move to a higher vantage point. Maybe they should start making their patrols more active, circling the whole city instead of just moving to a few locations and watching. If there was going to be an akumatization tonight, Marinette hoped it would appear already. Now that she had a gaggle of kwamis to look after, Marinette’s responsibilities seemed to have doubled. She really couldn’t slack off in her schoolwork, or her duties as class rep, or her obligations to the bakery— she knew wedding season was coming up so her parents were going to really need her help. That wasn’t even mentioning all of the personal issues Marinette didn’t know how to tackle. She seemed to have been able to keep a low radar so far, but any second now her friends would figure out the earlier day’s events.

Marinette really didn’t want to think about Juleka’s reaction.

Marinette’s thrumming speed up.

Chat must have seen the anxious twitch of her fingers. “You know, it’s getting late, there probably won’t be any trouble tonight.”

Her eyes flickered to the blonde. “We haven’t checked the south-eastern side of the city.”

“I can go check on my way home.”

Marinette thought about protesting, but she could make out the worry etched onto the line of his eyebrows. His mop of hair caught her eye, messier than she was usd to— almost like it was drooping. She wondered if she wasn’t the only one having a hard time.

“You go to school so you should probably get home and rest.”

“You also go to school”, Marinette noted.

Chat’s replying chuckle felt empty.

“I’m not going to be sleeping anytime soon .” Marinette hoped it wasn’t defeat what she heard in his voice. She regarded his usually vibrant eyes, now dulled with an exhaustion Marinette could recognize.

“You too huh?”

Chat broke eye contact to look out at the Paris scenery. Marinette did the same, gazing at the endless darkness of the sky.

“It’s been a hard week.”

She could only hum in agreement.

Her suit protected her from the cold, but Marinette’s face felt icy in the night’s dropping temperature.

“Is it a personal problem?”

“Well, I think Shadow Moth has both of us on edge, but mostly yeah.”

Chat fiddled with the cuffs of his gloves. She’d always been a proponent of keeping everything private, only revealing what was necessary, but something about Chat’s frown bothered Marinette.

“I can listen.”

Chat’s head shot up, his expression one of surprise. Marinette tried to convey comfort through her own expression. “Really?”

“As long as you keep it vague. I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

His responding smile was small, but Marinette was glad for it nonetheless.

“Well, um, okay.”

Marinette relaxed against the chimney and Chat changed his posture to face her more.

“I started seeing someone recently.”

Marinette’s eyes widened but she kept quiet.

“We were friends beforehand and I realized I liked her, so I thought it would be a good idea.” Chat exhaled. “I’m Chat Noir though, so we couldn’t keep it up.”

Understanding washed over her.

“She was pretty upset, and now… she told me she no longer wanted to have any type of relationship.”

Chat’s eyes stared at the ground(rooftop rather.) Marinette reached for him without thinking. Chat looked at the hand she placed on his shoulder, and then at her. His eyes told her he received the message:

I understand

She leaned in and hugged him. They sat like that for a few seconds, enjoying each other’s warmth, before they separated.

“I think you’re right. We should go home.”

Chat nodded and they both stood up, still facing each other.

“Chat… I know we can’t exactly hang out, but you’re my friend, so if you need anything...”

Chat nodded.

“Thank you, ladybug.”

They shared a smile before going their separate ways.

--------

Marinette was later than usual. The classroom’s tone felt different than yesterday, and Marinette read it immediately. She apologized and took her seat, trying not to meet anyone’s eyes. She could feel Alya’s on her all hour though, but she kept her eyes forward. All of her attention was focused on Mme. Bustier, Marinette throwing herself into the coursework to try and ignore the impending questions. The scratch of graphite on paper worked as a background to Mme. Bustier’s voice, and it did a good job at keeping Marinette’s mind occupied with work.

So much so that Marinette almost didn’t hear the bell.

She stared through the paper in front of her, her fingers tightening around the pencil in her hand. She could feel more eyes on her now.

Recognizing that she could no longer ignore Alya, Marinette picked herself up from her hunched posture and turned to her. Like she predicted, Alya was looking right at her. She didn’t attempt to decode the emotions in the hazel of Alya’s eyes.

She stood up and Marinette knew to follow. Mylène, Rose, Alix, and Juleka were behind them as they made their way out of the classroom. Alya stopped next to a bench and sent Marinette a look, communicating to her that she should sit down. Marinette complied. She studied Alya’s face, and Marinette disliked that the tension in it looked more like worry than displeasure— Marinette didn’t want to lie to Alya when she was looking at her with concern. Alya sighed and she sat beside her, the other girls sitting around them. Marinette thrummed her fingers, waiting for Alya’s words.

She directed them at Alix though.

“Alix, would you like to tell Marinette what you told me?”

Alix met eyes with Marinette before facing Alya. “Recently I heard something from Mylène about Marinette.”

She blew a bubble with her bubblegum and it’s pop unsettled Marinette.

“I think she knows what I’m talking about.”

Marinette sighed before rubbing her arms self consciously. She looked around at their faces— they were waiting for her but Marinette didn’t know what to tell them. She remembered the walk she’d had with Kagami some days ago. Kagami had noticed her exhaustion so soon, she could only wonder how long it must have taken her best friend.

“Do you not want to tell us what happened?”

“Um, no, no, I just… It’s just complicated, I’m not sure I’m even done processing what happened.”

Alya placed a hand on her shoulder. They all understood.

“I, well. I’ll tell you.”

Marinette took a deep breath and tried to work out what parts she had to modify.

“You guys know I’ve had feelings for Adrien all year. For months I’ve had this giant crush on him.” He heard some hums of agreement.

“These past few months I’ve actually begun to talk to him, and for a while now we’ve been friends. Somewhere during that time, I started to get to know different sides of Adrien, and my feelings deepened. I began to think that maybe he could actually like me back. I felt like we were finally connecting... But I think I’ve slowly come to realize that Adrien doesn't think about me like that.” Marinette could hear her voice lowering so she coughed and looked up. “I had to come to terms that Adrien liked someone else, loved someone else.” She tried not to think about Kagami’s words.

“Luka, he was always so sweet. With Adrien, I felt like this spluttering blubbering mess.” She sighed. “No wonder he didn’t like me back, all of my clumsiness gets turned up to a hundred around him. Even once my stuttering calmed down somewhat as we became closer, I feel like a mess around him even now.”

Alya scoffed like she’d been the one to be insulted.

“Marinette, you’re so incredibly smart and clever. You’re also kind and you don’t hesitate to help others. If Adrien hasn’t realized that yet then that’s not your fault.” She tried not to think about how Adrien was all of those things, but more. Or how Kagami was also all of those things, but yet they still…

Marinette didn’t let herself dwell on it.

“That’s something Luka would have told me.”

Alya fell silent.

“Luka made me feel like I could just be. It was easy to talk to him, and when he told me he had feelings for me… I felt like maybe we could work.”

Her eyes flickered to Juleka, but her expression hadn’t changed much.

“My feelings for Adrien were hard to ignore though. I think Luka could tell.”

“I really did like Luka. I just, I feel like I got him caught up in my emotional mess and hurt him.”

Marinette stopped thrumming her fingers and dug them into the fabric of her pants. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys. I’ve been busy and I haven’t been able to reflect on the break up yet.” Marinette looked around all of them, their faces sympathetic.

Rose stood up and wrapped her arms around Marinette. She pulled back and Marinette could see tears rimming her eyes.

“You don’t have to apologize to us, Marinette.”

“Yeah, it sounds like you’ve been having a rough time”, Mylène piped up.

Alya’s hand slid from her shoulder to her back. Marinette appreciated the act of comfort.

“Thank you guys, for being understanding. I just need some time.”

“Of course, Mari, just tell us if you need some hang out buddies to turn your brain off with.” Alix didn’t join them in their huddle around the bench, but her smile was softer than her usual smirk.

“Of course”, Marinette grinned, she could feel the mood lifting. “If any of you would like to get your butts kicked in Ultimate Mecha Strike III, you know who you can call.”

Rose and Mylène giggled, parting from Marinette so she could look up at them better. Marinette couldn’t tell them everything but she genuinely felt her mood lift.

The bell rang.

Marinette felt like now she could scratch that off her list of things to worry about.

She was about to stand up as the other girls smiled and made their way back when she turned to Alya. She was staring at her intensely, like she was analyzing Marinette.

“Uh, Alya? We should make our way back.”

Alya continued to stare at Marinette. Marinette swallowed and clutched the edge of the bench. Finally, Alya crossed her arms and stood up. She didn’t move to make their way back though.

“Alya, we’re going to be late.”

“You’re still hiding something.”

Marinette’s mouth shut. Alya just continued to bore holes through her.

“H-Hiding something?”

“Luka knew you were in love with Adrien since before. He would have been fine with waiting for you to get over him.”

“But I couldn't, okay. I was hurting him and we couldn’t-”

“Marinette, I’m your best friend, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

Marinette wanted to say she couldn’t actually. She bunched her fist in her jacket instead.

“If this is about me not being the one to tell you, I already apologized. I really am sorry, but I just wasn't in the right headspace.”

“When you’re not in the right headspace your emotions tend to spill over. You’re not the type to stew in your feelings.” Marinette narrowed her eyes at her, annoyed at how factual she’d made it sound.

“Don’t act like you know everything about me, Alya.”

Alya’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Marinette swallowed.

“I mean…” She sighed.

“Again, I’m not in the right headspace. Let’s just go to class.” Marinette left and didn’t look back to see if Alya followed.

--------

After class, Marinette shot some smiles at the girls. She apologized to Alya but she could tell she wanted to press further. She left before Alya could protest.

Marinette entered the bakery and greeted her parents, masking her mood with a bright smile.

“Hey Maman, hey Papa.”

“Hello, sweet buns. How was your day?”

Marinette circled the counter and joined them behind it.

“It was alright. Mme. Mendeleive started rambling about this guy called Louis Le Prince near the end of class. It was hard to follow but apparently he invented the camera before Eddison.”

Her mom smiled fondly at her.

“I didn’t know that. I hope that means she didn’t assign you any homework.”

They smirked at each other.

“You’d be right, Maman.”

Marinette didn’t say she was slightly disappointed about it. Her mind needed a distraction. And almost like she’d read her mind, her mother perked up, her expression somewhat sheepish.

“Would you be a dear and help us out with an order for waffle cookies. Me and papa are working on decorating a wedding cake.”

Marinette grinned at her mother.

“Of course, Maman.”

Her mother informed her of the specifics for the order before making her way back to her husband.

Marinette set her bag down on a corner and rolled up her sleeves, plugging in her headphones before reaching for the bottles of ingredients and bowls she would need. She scrolled through her Jagged Stone playlist as she plugged in the waffle iron, once finally settling on an album, stuffing her phone in her back pocket as she found her way back to the table. Marinette tried to get lost in the mindless task of measuring and mixing, making sure to be very meticulous so her mind could only focus on teaspoons of vanilla and cups of flour. These tasks were second nature to her anyway though, so eventually her mind wandered.

Marinette hoped that she’d be able to smooth things over with Alya tomorrow, but she knew how stubborn she could be— Alya wouldn’t stop questioning Marinette. Marinette was so tired of the lies. She’d been lying to Alya almost the entirety of their friendship, and Marinette hated that she was getting better at it. She could just continue to lie to her, it was probably what she would end up doing, but what if Marinette didn’t? What if she just told her the truth.

Marinette fumbled with the mixer before pouring her mixture of ingredients onto the mixing bowl. The sound of the mixer competed with the loud music of her headphones, but more thoughts kept crawling into her mind.

Marinette would admit that at times she wished she didn’t have to. It would be so nice to confide in someone who understood what being a highschooler was like, and who also had some experience with the whole superhero thing. The danger was obvious though. She’d be putting Alya’s security at risk, and hers as well of course. So much was at stake so she couldn’t even entertain the thought. That the weight of being Paris’ greatest superhero while being a seventeen year old high schooler was finally dawning on her.

The mixture of ingredients quickly turned into dough, and she began to scoop up balls of it with her fingers, morphing them into walnut sized balls.

How could Marinette be Marinette when she had to be ladybug? She had dreams she was trying to pursue, as well as responsibilities as a student and daughter. However, she also had a duty to Paris to protect its people. The reality was one she couldn’t afford to forget. These days it felt like she had to be ladybug more and more, her persona bleeding into her everyday. Maybe it was all the hiding and lying that was slowly becoming part of her personality.

Her fingers dug into the dough a bit too hard and ended up making a hole through the ball of dough. She sighed at the tiny doughnut in her hands before reshaping it.

Trust was such an important part of relationships but there was no one Marinette could trust with her secret. And as ladybug continued to dominate her life, Marinette felt as if she’d never be able to invest herself fully in one. Marinette couldn’t giver herself whole if she had to hide half of herself.

She began to line the dough balls, checking the waffle iron.

Marinette hoped she’d be allowed to just be her soon enough. She could dedicate all her time to progressing in her aspirations, accomplishing her responsibilities, and maintaining her relationships.

She sprayed the waffle iron with cooking spray.

Leaving ladybug ...meant leaving Chat Noir too though.

Her eyes studied the dots of cooking spray on the iron.

Fingers pressed into the dough as she placed them along the iron. She lowered the lid slowly.

Maybe… just maybe, they’d find each other after.

The smell of the cookies crisping began to waft over her, Marinette leaned against the table, propping her arms on the surface and closing her eyes as she focused on the smell. The kitchen was warm, and she could hear a bit of the tune her Maman was humming through her headphones. Jagged Stone’s guitar began to quiet down.

It could be that they would never see each other again after that.

Her gaze dropped to her hands, knuckles white with flour and fingertips sticky with residue dough. Her left thumb reached for her right hand and she began to fidget with her ring finger. How did Chat’s miraculous look when he wasn’t transformed? Marinette wondered if she’d be able to recognize it. After all, she doubted anyone would be able to recognize her superheroine persona shining through her fumbling civilian identity. Was Chat just as exuberant in real life? Her mind pondered what kind of teenager Chat would be like. He probably had a lot of friends, and he was probably a bit of an attention seeker. Marinette’s face softened. She bet he was insufferably kind. His friends were very lucky, they could enjoy being Chat’s friends without the weight of thousands of people’s lives on their shoulders. If they met without the masks, would they be friends?

She flattened her hands against the table, tracing circles with her fingers on the flour dusting it. The next song on her playlist began to start. The sweet smell of the cookies continued to fill her nose.

Actually…

Marinette sniffed the air.

“Eek-”

She tried to find the timer somewhere, realizing she hadn’t even taken it out. Scrambling to lift the waffle iron lid’s, Marinette bumped into the table, her hip bone knocking against the table’s edge. She yelped and clutched her hip. Too late, Marinette realized the uncapped vanilla extract bottle. She tried to stop its fall but the bottle tumbled and knocked against a bowl before falling on its side. The dark liquid spilled onto the wood immediately, and Marinette panicked as it pooled around bowls.

“Marinette?”

She only responded with a strained chuckle as she lifted the bottle off the table and regarded the pool of vanilla. “Sorry, I just spilled some extract.”

Her mother glanced from the wedding cake.

“Oh, honey, clean it up before it stains too badly.”

Marinette nodded and rushed to find some paper towels to absorb the extract. She pushed the bowls out of the way and pressed the paper towels onto the table, the white paper quickly turning dark even as the pool of liquid disappeared. Her eyes scanned the room for a rag as she replaced the paper towels. Her hands reached for the nearest one and took it, scrubbing at the surface, praying that the stain would lighten if she placed it next to a window. Suddenly, Marinette remembered what her original plan was as the air turned bitter. Her hands fumbled to open the waffle iron, revealing the now overly brown cookies. She plucked them off the iron and placed them on a cooling rack. As she reached for the last one, her pinky brushed against the hot metal and she hissed, biting her lip and scowling as she rubbed at the burn.

“Today is not my day”, Marinette mumbled.

Her mother shot a glance in her direction again, her brows painted with concern. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

“I’m fine, Maman, just a little burn.” Marinette sighed. “I’ll be right back.”

She left her parents in the bakery, climbing the stairs to her home. She pushed the door open with her body and found her way into the bathroom. Marinette opened the faucet and slid her red pinky over the cool water. The change in temperature helped the pain and she exhaled deeply.

Her eyes found her reflection on the mirror and she couldn’t help but scowl. She’d been donning a ‘finals week’ kinda tired on her face– cheeks pale, eyebags deep, and pigtails almost coming undone– but now she also had flour dusting it. She couldn’t wait for this week to end. It was still the middle of the week though, so Marinette guessed she’d need to work extra hard to make it speed by. Her other hand found the faucet and closed it. The towel bothered her skin as she toweled her hands dry, but she hoped it would calm down soon enough. She made her way out of the bathroom, and turned to the kitchen. Swinging the cooler open and scanning its interior, Marinette took a napkin and plucked an ice cube off the ice rack. She closed the cooler before swinging her body onto the counter— her Maman wasn’t here so no one had to know.

The ice was a bit harsh on the burn, but Marinette was looking to numb the pain so she pressed tightly against her pinky. A quiet chuckle passed through her lips. It’d be neat if she could have some numbing ice for other aspects of herself. As she jokingly wondered how that’d work, she realized her mother was calling out to her.

“Marinette!”

She blinked at her Maman’s voice but made her way to the stairs, poking her head down to the bakery.

“Yes, Maman?” Her mother appeared from around the corner.

“There’s a girl here asking for you, honey.”

Panic rose up her throat. Was it Alya? Marinette wasn’t ready to confront her, and she needed time to come up with something to feed to her.

“She brought you some orange juice.”

Marinette frowned at her mother. Orange juice?

Tension left her face.

Her Maman knew Alya pretty well, so Marinette supposed it’d be weird of her not to just tell her it was Alya. Making her ways down the steps, Marinette looked around the bakery. A blue bob and white jacket was the first thing she registered.

“Kagami?”

The girl was standing somewhat awkwardly in front of the counter, two plastic cups in her hands.

“Good afternoon, Marinette.” Kagami’s greeting smile was stiff on her face.

“Hey, Kagami.” Marinette responded simply, she walked towards her, and weaved around the counter. She swept her hand over her cheeks.

“Sorry I was just baking.”

“You look fine, Marinette.”

“Really? I remember a few days ago you mentioned I looked pretty bad.”

“Well, you do look tired.”

Marinette shook her head. “I can’t argue with you on that.”

The logo on the plastic cups Kagami was carrying was familiar.

“So did you just drop by to give me orange juice?”

Kagami brought the cups up to her chest. “Well”, Kagami shifted her weight from one foot onto the other, “I was hoping you’d have some with me.”

“Oh”

“Then in that case.” Marinette turned to her parents, who were probably already listening,

“Can I finish the cookies later?”

“Sure, honey, just cover the dough up.”

Marinette nodded and signaled Kagami to follow her. They walked past the counter and into the actual bakery, Marinette took some wide plates and lined the dough balls on them. She took some seran wrap and covered them, setting them off to the side. She swept her hands together to shake off any remaining flour and turned to Kagami.

“Okay, follow me.”

She led her around the corner and to the stairs. Kagami glanced around.

“So this is what leads to your actual home?”

She followed Marinette up the steps.

“Yep. The first floor is just the bakery.”

She pushed the door open and moved to let Kagami in first. Kagami took her home in. The white couch decorated with throw pillows; the kitchen with their bright blue refrigerator; the three windows spilling sunlight through grey curtains. Marinette closed the door behind them. Kagami stepped into the kitchen, her eyes roaming over the fridge. Marinette joined her.

“Weird color for a home appliance, right?”

Kagami glanced back at her, but reached her hands up to a photo on the cooler’s door, her fingertips grazing it.

“Is this a relative of yours?”

Marinette glanced at what she was looking at. The photo was a few years old, Marinette was sprawled out on the couch that was currently right behind them. A teenage boy leaning on said couch was teasing Marinette with a feather. Her face was scrunched up as said boy tickled it with the feather. They were both grinning though.

“Oh.” Marinette smiled at the picture. “That’s my older brother actually.”

Kagami’s brow questioned her, surprise evident on her face. “I wasn’t aware you had a brother.”

“Yeah, I guess I don’t talk about him enough. His name is Anthony.”

“Does he live here?”

“Oh, no, he’s studying abroad right now. He wasn’t able to come during Christmas but he’ll be here during the summer.”

Kagami seemed to mull over this information. She kept her eyes on the photo. “What was it like?” Marinette looked at her quizzically. “ Growing up with a sibling, I mean”, She clarified.

Marinette snorted. “Annoying, no one else knows how to tick you off like a sibling.” She wiggled her fingers as she presented the picture. “Exhibit here.”

“Really? I don’t know if that sound… enjoyable.”

“Pfft, well growing up with siblings is definitely pretty bothersome.” Marinette nodded at her own comment. “Sometimes it's funny but being so close to someone before gaining any sense of maturity comes with annoying downfalls.”

“People have told me it’s sad I don’t have any siblings though.”

Marinette couldn’t read Kagami’s expression.

“That’s kinda rude of them.”

Kagami smiled at her response.

“I’ve always thought so too.” She set the orange juice on the nearest surface. “But I guess I wonder if siblings are worth all of their hype.”

Marinette thought about her brother. It’d been a while since he’d last seen him, and she’d never admit to it to him, but sometimes his absence made her home feel empty.

“It’s also really nice, having someone to grow up with. I get why they might have said that.” She shrugged. “It’s a unique bond.”

“So do you miss you brother?”

“Ugh, well it’s a pain to admit but yeah.”

Kagami smirked in amusement. Marinette reached for the orange juice Kagami had brought. “I didn’t know they had such cute to go cups.” Kagami took the other cup and followed Marinette as she made her way to the counter in the kitchen, each of them taking a seat.

“You're the type to always notice design.” It wasn't a question.

“Well I might specialize in fashion designing, but if something is cute then I’ll notice.” Marinette brought the straw up to her mouth. The orange juice was refreshing and Marinette humed against the straw in contentment. Kagami smiled at her drink as well.

“I love orange juice, but is there a specific reason you’re here?”

Kagami parted her mouth from the juice and shrugged. “I suppose we never actually set a date for that orange juice date.”

“Hmm, are you maybe trying to make time up with me?”

“Well I did want to see you.”

“I’m flattered by your honesty. But I bet you also wanted to see what a bakery-home was like.”

Kagami looked around the room again instead of responding.

“Your house is so small.”

“Oh, gee, I know it's no mansion.”

“No, I didn’t mean it in a degrading way.” Kagami’s eyes flitted to a particular tiger shaped pillow on the coach. It was an old comfort toy of Marinette. “It’s homely, and warm.”

“Well it is right above a bakery”, Marinette pointed out.

“It does smell of baked goods.”

“Come on Sunday mornings. Last week I woke up to lemon-berry savarin and palmier pastries.”

“Should I come every Sunday to guess the pastry of the week?”

“You're invited to taste it too.”

They both laughed.

“I can’t promise I’d be awake to greet you, Sundays are one of my holy sleeping-in days.”

“I see you value your sleep.”

“You could say that. Like you’ve noticed though, I look like a mess when I don’t get enough of it.” Kagami didn’t respond for a second.

“So you haven’t been getting much sleep?”

“Oh, ah”, Marinette laughed awkwardly. “No, spose I haven’t.”

“You have a lot of responsibilities.”

“That I do.” Marinette chewed on the straw of her juice.

“Thank you for coming actually, I’ve been having an off day.”

“Rough week?”

“Pretty much.”

They sat in a comfortable silence as their juice slowly disappeared. Marinette noted that Kagami looked better than she had the last time they’d met. Part of her wanted to ask how that whole thing was going for her, but did she actually want to know?

“So”, Kagami broke the silence first. “You make deliveries but you also bake?”

“Of course, what kind of baker’s daughter do you take me for?”

“Do your parents expect you to take on the bakery someday?” Marinette opened her mouth but then swallowed.

“They understand I have a dream for designing, but we still haven’t figured it out. They really want to keep the bakery alive.”

“Sorry, it seems like a complicated subject.”

“It is, but it’s okay.” Marinette slurped the last of her orange juice and set her cup down. “It really is okay though, a discussion for the future. Like you said, I have enough on my plate at the moment.” Kagami also finished her drink

“Well I hope the bakery stays open until next Sunday, I want to try the pastry of the week.”

Marinette giggled. “I’ll make sure to make you something special.”

“Do many people get the pleasure of tasting your baking?”

“Some lucky souls out there in Paris.”

“I trust you’re good then.”

“Well I think my baking is plenty tasty, I’m just a clutz.”

“So your clumsiness doesn't interfere with the taste?”

“No, it just endangers my safety, as well as anyone’s in a three meter radius”, Marinette sighed.

“I do read you as accident prone.”

“Don’t laugh but actually I stained the work table with vanilla extract and burned my pinky only a few minutes before you came.”

Kagami’s brows rose in surprise.

“Wow, really?”

“Yep”, Marinette grumbled, lifting her right hand up. It wasn’t so distinct anymore but her finger was still red. Kagami noticed.

“I see, does it still hurt?”

“Not really, I mean it’s not fun getting burned but I have thick skin so it’s okay.”

Kagami paused and looked at her, confused. “Thick skin?”

“I’ve been pricking my fingers with needles for years, scaring has made my skin thicker and less sensitive.”

“Oh, I had no idea.”

“Yeah, sometimes I get quite insecure about it. I don’t think a guy would appreciate holding hands with me. Girls are supposed to have soft skin or whatever.”

“I know what you mean, fencing has made me build my own callouses.”

“Oh that’s right, your fence training must have done a similar number on your hands.”

Kagami nodded holding her palms out on the countertop. “I have a similar insecurity.” Marinette gazed at her hands, she could make out the callouses. She leaned closer to Kagami, placing her left hand on the countertop too.

“May I?”

Kagami’s dark eyes considered her, her bangs almost completely covering her eyebrows— It made it hard at times to decipher her expression— said bangs bounced as Kagami nodded. Marinette moved her eyes from Kagami to her palms. She lifted her left hand, her knuckles grazing the cool countertop as it approached Kagami’s. Their skin touched, marinette’s index finger grazing Kagami’s pinky. Her touch was tentative as she brushed her fingertips over Kagami’s fingers and against the inside of Kagami’s hand. It was unexpectedly cool. Just like Kagami had said, the skin along her palm’s crease was distinctly tough and one could only wonder the years of training needed to result in such callouses. She studied Kagami’s hand. Her palm was more plush than her own, but her fingers were bonier, and they also had a yellow undertone that darkened around the edges of her hands and turned into the warm color of the rest of her body. Marinette found this information oddly fascinating.

Her eyes flitted to Kagami’s face. Her gaze was on Marinette’s fingers, and Marinette realized that she was caressing Kagami’s palm. She flushed and retracted her hand, drumming her fingers on the countertop.

“Um, your hands are pretty nice actually.”

Kagami’s hands curled into loose fists.

“They aren’t soft though.”

“No, but anyone can tell that your skin’s texture is the product of hours of hard work.”

Kagami didn’t respond, but Marinette could make out a whisper of a smile on her lips.

“They, uh, they’re cool too.. Nice and cool.” Marinette swallowed, embarrassed she’d actually said that. Kagami blinked at her and Marinette hoped she hadn’t made it weird.

“Your’s are warm.”

Marinette stopped her drumming.

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

“Baker’s daughter thing again?”

Marinette chuckled and looked at her own hands now. “Yep, exactly.” She ran her right thumb along the base of her left thumb. Her skin had more of a pink undertone which she knew she’d inherited from her papa. Marinette wondered if both of Kagami’s parents had warm undertones. She glimpsed in Kagami’s direction. Her eyes were on the countertop, somewhat hidden behind her bangs. Marinette realized how little she actually knew of Kagami. They hadn’t been friends for that long so maybe that was obvious. Was it one of those rich kid-strict parents thing?

A ringing broke her train of thought. Kagami sat up and reached for her pocket, hastily pulling her phone out. A frown pulled on her lips.

“Everything alright? Is your mom calling?”

“Just a text. She wants me to come home now/”

“Oh, do you need to be somewhere?”

“No, it’s just past the time I told her It’d be here.”

“Why does she need you home then?”

“She doesn't, she just doesn't like it when I don’t stick to my plans.” Kagami returned her phone to her pocket, she could make out her exasperation through her movements.

“You need to leave then.”

“I do. I’ve intruded long enough anyways.”

“Of course you haven’t. But I’ll walk you out.”

Marinette stood up and Kagami followed. They made their way back to the bakery. Kagami nodded her head at her parents, a small bow of her head. “Thank you for letting me come into your home, M. and Mme.Dupain-Cheng.”

“You're always welcome -”

“Kagami”, Marinette offered.

“You're always welcome, Kagami. Have a good night, sweetheart.”

“And you as well.”

They exited the bakery, Tatsu already waiting for her.

“Well, it was nice seeing you. Feel free to come again.”

“I enjoyed talking with you.” Kagami’s smile was warm, her statement genuine.

“Thank you for allowing me to stay.”

Marinette could feel her own smile on her face. She waved as Kagami entered the car and drove off. It was evening by now.

Marinette stood in front of her home. She felt better.

A/N:

It's been a while since I last saw some of the episodes so if anything seems off let me know. I don't know if Anthony will make an appearance but I love the Brother AU so I'm including it. Feedback is appreciated, especially since I don't have any beta readers, point out any mistakes please. -Rey :D

[minachuuu]

Unspoken Words Hurt Too [P2]

❣Unspoken Words Hurt Too❣ Part 2/2 (Part 1!)

❤ Pairing: Yves x (Fem) Idol!Reader

❤ Genre: Angst

❤ Word Count: 7.3k (I think I got a little too excited on this one, ups)

❤ Song Suggestions: One Way by LOONA/yyxy and��Rock Bottom by Hailee Steinfeld

It has been two months since Yves phone stopped ringing with your name popping on the screen, but that didn’t mean her mind ceased to bring back your smile, your eyes and the way your arms felt around her. Her comeback with LOONA was useful to have her mind away from the issue for a while, but now that promotions had finished for them, there was nothing preventing you from dwelling on her memory.

Yves was sure that if her phone rang, just once again with your name, it wouldn’t take a second for her to answer it. She beated herself endlessly at the way she treated the situation from the first day. After the news broke, you tried reaching her endlessly but she kept declining call after call. But among preparations for their comeback, Vivi was the one to smack some sense into her, calling her attitude ‘childish’. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know that but her pride refused to surrender, avoiding any possible contact or even seeing your face anywhere.

It wasn’t until one day, the girls at the dorm were looking at a show were your group made an appearance. You looked tired, weared off. Her instinct was to get her phone out and text you to ask if you were okay, but a voice in her head reminded her of everything she had done wrong, the friendship she had broken. She promised to herself to answer your next call, but it was a little too late. 

On the other hand, you accepted that you had neglected your friendship a bit before the whole relationship thing even started, let’s not even think about a more serious relationship. So you perfectly understood if she didn’t want to waste her time with someone who didn’t know how to handle her priorities, but if you only had the opportunity...

And then, there she was. Her sight lost in the horizon, sitting in the most isolated bench at the park you used to visit together, to escape from life watching the Han River serenely flow. Her mind was rattling with a thousand thoughts as she gradually sipped on the hot beverage in her hands. The sun was setting in the horizon, turning the water below into a shaking quivering mirror, reflecting the sun rays straight to her face. 

You stared in silence, the girl unaware of your presence behind her, her silhouette as bright as you remembered from the last time you had seen her, all those months ago in the dance practice that would catapult you into stardom. You stayed there for some minutes, deciding on whether or not to interrupt her contemplating state. The only thing you had to grasp upon was a deep breath, before gently walking towards her.

“Excuse me, I believe you might be on my bench.” You joked, your whole self filled with hope that she would take it lightly.

“I’m so sorry!” She sprang from the seat in surprise, extremely apologetic. She gradually turned around, bowing respectfully. “I’ll move to-”

“I don’t mind sharing it though” You offered her a gentle smile when her eyes locked on yours. 

“Y/n-” She gasped, but her expression made it impossible to say if she was glad or not to see you there.

“Hi Sooyoung.” You responded, dryly but a hint of nostalgia managed to slip out. Revealing how much you missed saying your best friend’s name out loud. Your hand motioned to the empty part of the bench as she moved her body to one side. “May I?”

“Suit yourself.” She mumbled. 

You took a seat by her side, both avoiding making eye contact. The sun reflecting on the river in front of you bounced to your eyes now as the air around you two was cramming with a thousand words to be said. But the pressure of the silence was even more deafening, making it obvious that those times where you both were comfortable with your quietness were far behind.

“How did you find me?” She asked first. You sensed a certain hostile tone coming out of her, your energies crashing against each other.

“I wasn’t looking for you to begin with.” You answered in the same tone, a sting in your chest as you weren’t used to talking to her that way. “But it just so happens that we both choose the same spot to come and think about… stuff.”

“And what stuff do you have to think about that is so important to interrupt mine?” She scoffed.

You clenched your fists, tensing your jaw. The truth was that both of you only came here to think about each other. What any other reason could this spot have when you had spent countless hours here building memories together, thinking of a future full of dreams that you casually wanted to achieve together. But those now seemed far, far away from a reaching distance when every word right now seemed to scream ‘go away’.

“I just wanted to catch a breath.” You hid your real intentions behind a mask full to the brim with bottled emotions. 

“Yeah, I can’t imagine how tiring it must be to be you.” Sooyoung mentally slapped herself at the way she was talking back to you. But she couldn’t control the pride in her heart from swelling. 

“You know what? Yes, yes it is. I do have a problem” You snapped your head towards her, daring to look at her in the eyes. “But what’s yours Sooyoung?”

“I don’t know what you m-”

“I wanted my best friend back, I really did.” You continued but she refused to let her guard down. “But you made it really clear to me that you didn’t.”

“Then why are you here?” She spat. Her eyes getting glossy, staring at the paper cup in her hands as she averted your gaze.

“I-” The air was sucked out of your lungs, letting out an incredulous chuckle in defeat. “You’re right. I have no idea why I am wasting my time here.”

You bolted up from the bench, straightening your jacket as the last rays of sunlight lit up your silhouette. You stared at the colors of dusk, maybe the last time you saw them from this valued place of yours.

“Take care Sooyoung,” Your words barely made it through your choked throat, as you tried containing your tears. “Say hi to the girls from me.”

Each step you took away from her felt heavier and heavier. You couldn’t understand how only seconds ago you felt like her energy repelled you away, but now it felt like you were tied to a rope that she pulled against your strength. All your memories telling you to come back, that there was still something there to grasp upon, but your brain relieving the images of all you just witnessed was enough to power your walk, refusing to turn back.

With that, the last rays of sunlight caressed the sky as the sun hid behind the buildings at the other side of the lake. The sun took with it every ounce of might needed in Yves body to keep her from bawling her eyes out. As she buried her head in her hands trying to stop the outcome of tears from her eyes, and the flood of thoughts in her mind reprimanding every single one of her actions. 

It didn’t take long for her to stand up and run behind your trail, the terror in her soul reminding her that it might be already too late to try and fix what she managed to break even more. It was the rush of adrenaline that managed to help her run across the entire length of the park to the only other place you could have gone. A rusty set of swings where you both shared a first slow dance a long time ago. 

You found the place as cool for a photoshoot, blasting music on your phone to brighten the mood. A slow paced song managed to creep onto your upbeat playlist, but before you could change the song, Sooyoung had already put her hand on your shoulder, guiding your hand to her waist. You sang the lyrics almost as if you were singing them to her, as she gracefully led the dance. It was just a playful moment that would later come to haunt you both as you wondered if it may have been a sign of something more.

A deep sigh of relief escaped her mouth when she recognized your coated silhouette resting on the railing looking at the river. The set of swings still rusting it’s days away on your back.

“Y/N!” She choked as she approached you, making you spin around in your place. “Please, listen-”

“So now you want to talk?” Even if a part of you felt relieved that maybe she wanted to fix things with you, the rest of you felt conflicted. You already were building up the idea of a life without her, even if it broke your heart in an irreparable way.

“You- you don’t?” Yves halted her steps a few feet away from you after being slapped with your words.

“I wanted to Sooyoung.” Your body tensed up, your hands hiding away in the pockets of your coat. “And I wanted to talk for months. Months where you declined every single call, and then today… You made your message very clear.”

“How do you think I felt when I sat there in the cold waiting for you until midnight Y/n?” Yves cried back. “Until midnight!”

“I’ve already apologized for that-”

“You shoved me aside for your new famous friends.” Her volume escalated and for once you were grateful that the area of the park was mostly abandoned at that time. “I don’t know anything about you for months and suddenly I see your face on the news screaming about your new relationship! And I was supposed to keep believing I was your best friend?!”

“Maybe if only you had given me the opportunity to explain everything!” You took a few steps towards her, your eyes starting to sting as your hands, now free from your pockets,violently motioned . “I really thought you would understand, but I spent countless days and nights wondering what I had done wrong, what I made to hurt you so bad! I cried for days on end, I lost my voice Sooyoung. And for what?!”

“You… what?” Her mouth dropped open at your claims, making her drop her defensive stance.

“The last weeks of promotions were a torture! All because I couldn’t drill in my mind how I could have failed you so bad.” A tear managed to escape from your eyes, quickly falling down your cheek. “And to think I fatigued my eyes to sleep every night for someone who just decided to throw everything away!”

“But I always cared!” Yves defended herself. “I cared a lot.”

“Yeah sure,” You scoffed back. “I noticed.”

“I promised I would wait for you to tell you everything…” The knot in her throat tightened with each word she tried to get out. Her heart aching at the memories she tried hard repressing until this point. “But when the news broke out that- I was just so afraid!”

“Afraid of what? What did you want to tell me?” You walked even closer to her, now just a few inches apart as your heart ached at the sight of Sooyoung so broken and vulnerable.

She shook her head, unable to keep talking as her whole body trembled on time with her sobbing pants. Your hand reached for her chin, raising it up to meet her eyes.

“Why Sooyoung?” Tears were were choking your words already, “Why did you left-”

Her hands cooped your cheeks and pulled you aggressively towards her. Sooyoung crashed her lips against yours, taking you by surprise. But only a deep sight that filled your brain with her essence was necessary for you to melt into the kiss, your hands snaking around her waist. You boldly pulled her closer towards yourself, the force of the action smashing your back against the rail. 

Hungrily, you continued getting drunk in each other’s taste, her arms surrounding your shoulders as she tried feeling you even closer. The harmonious dance continued until both your lungs started stinging from lack of air. Slowly distancing from each other, it was your eyes locking with hers that made Sooyoung realize the gravity of her actions.

“Oh gosh-” She jumped aback, covering her mouth with her hands. Tears once again sliding down her cheeks as she kept warily taking steps away from you. “I’m so sorry Y/n-

“Sooyoung-”

“I’m sorry.” She snapped around, sprinting to the opposite direction from where you were standing. 

You watched dumbfounded at her silhouette moving away, your hand went up to your lips faintly longing the feeling of her lips against your, your chest raising up and down trying to even it’s breath, as your mind tried even harder on processing each second passing were Sooyoung was not by your side.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

If you struggled to get Sooyoung out of your mind before, You were condemned to rewind that moment again, and again and again. Endlessly for every day of your damned existence. Your hand often explored your lips, trying to relive the weight of hers against them, and there were moments you felt a chill traveling through your body when you could swear you smelled her perfume close to you. Sometimes you even wondered if that night really happened. But it did.

You came back into your dorm that night, and your members described you as a walking zombie. Expressionless, as if every step you had a chain attached to your ankles. Your leader quickly asked if you were okay, until she realized your smeared lipstick, the smudged eyeliner, your ragged hairstyle and your clothes tugged at all the exact places. 

She didn’t even have to ask about it, your leader knew you enough to know who you had encountered, immediately taking you in her arms in a deep hug, before you cried your last entire night asleep. 

But how do you convince your heart that it was all over when it’s always a kiss that marks the beginning of the happily ever after?

Another comeback was on the horizon, the beat of the new song rumbled through the mirrors in the practice room just like all those months before. But this time your eyes couldn’t stop glancing towards the door, afraid you would be missing the moment your best friend Sooyoung entered the room. 

The choreography was fine, it was fun and catchy. But if you were being honest with yourself, it lacked that spark that Yves contributed the last time. It passed through your mind the day you made her promise to be contributing to your choreos from now on. A promise you didn’t imagine could be broken so soon, alongside all the others that lingered in between.

You had no problem filling up every single one of your positions and hitting every mark and every beat on time, but it wasn’t really amusing this time around. The music faded in the distance, claps around you filling the air breaking your daydreaming. The choreo was completely done. Only the last rehearsals before the recording of the video and the comeback was feeling closer with each day. 

You thanked your choreographer and the dancers that aided everyone, leaving only your members and some of your managers in the group.

“Hey Y/n-Unnie!” The maknae of the group ran to you, with excitement pumping in every vein as she approached. A faint smile adorned your lips, grateful that her enthusiasm was very contagious. “I don’t mean to be noisy about anything, but I’m pretty sure I saw your girlfriend walking around the halls.”

“My- what?” Your eyes furrowed at her words. 

“Well, your girlfriend. Wink, wink” She laughed at the self added sound effects to her actions. “No but really, I saw Somi-Unnie out there just a few moments ago.”

“But she never comes here…” You hesitated, as you grabbed a towel to clean up the sweat from the back of your neck. 

“That’s why I’m telling you,” Your maknae rolled her eyes, “She’s not one to come just to stare at you with heart eyes like Sooy-”

Your maknae halted her words in time to avoid the name you both knew she was eventually going to let out. She looked like her body decided to stop knowing how to function as she stuttered and clumsily tried to keep the conversation going. But for her own relief, another one of your members came close to you.

“Hey Y/n, they’re calling for you at the door.” She announced, as the youngest member took advantage of the situation to fly away.

You snapped your head towards the door, a high executive gently waving his hand to you, signaling you to come close. You nodded back as you quickly put on some deodorant, your hoodie and finished by quickly sprinkling some perfume in yourself to mask the sweat odor off your body. 

You approached him and bowed respectfully, with the man commanding you to follow him. The walk through your company’s building was eerily quiet, a trip up the elevator to the managing offices was either something extremely good, or not a good sign at all. 

As the doors opened, you spotted the CEO’s office at the end of the corridor, swallowing hard. You walked along the man in the darkened corridor towards it, passing other offices that looked friendlier than the CEO’s. You only remember that office from when you and your group mates were called to sign your contract before officially debuting, but its grey walls and black chairs were not the first things that came to mind when asking for comfort. 

The man opened the door to the office, letting you in first. The blinding white corporate light filled your eyes as you tried recognizing the figures inside of the office. The CEO, sitting on her chair behind her huge cluttered desk. And the slim, graceful figure sitting in front of it, who turned around to face you with a smile on her face, Somi.

You politely bowed at the CEO, who signaled you to take a seat aside Somi. You offered her a sweet smile and a quick hug while walking toward your seat. An awkward silence cramming the office.

“Good night Y/n, I sincerely hope this meeting doesn’t take long, I’ll make my case quick.” She tapped a few papers on the table, and put them aside, crossing her arms on top of the table to address you and Somi. “I first got to ask, how are you two doing?”

You looked at each other, something in your eyes begging the girl besides you to answer the question. 

“We have been doing good, thanks for asking.” She politely answered and took your hand in hers as you offered a gentle nod back. You felt a knot in the back of your throat when the usual invasive thought of that night a month ago resurrected in full color. 

“I’m glad to hear that.” She sat back on her chair, posing her hands on the armrest. “To go straight to the point, I’ve been talking with the Black Label’s team and they have agreed to everything that I’ll be saying to you today.”

Your mind listened attentively to her words, but a little voice kept nagging inside of you, recreating that night aside Yves. 

“It has been ten months of this little affair in between you two. We are all proud that even in the forced situation, you have managed to establish at least a good friendship.” She motioned her hands towards you, “The publishing teams are satisfied with your work, and have agreed to cut the contract short as it no longer possesses significant importance in today’s media.”

Your breath halted at her words, trying to keep your entire attention at her instead of succumbing to your own thoughts.

“They believe a break-up could be a better source of publicity before launching both your firsts full albums, but they have decided to respect your decision towards this situation.” The CEO continued her speech. “We are going to respect you if you want to follow up this, or if you don’t. We’re going to leave you for a while so you can decide this.”

The man and the CEO walked out of the room, leaving you and Somi alone in the cold room.

“Somi-” You managed to whisper first.

“Look,” She laughed, easing the tension in lingering between you. “I love you Y/n, but you know, as a friend. We were never really a couple to start with.”

“Yeah” You scoffed back.

“And I also know you haven’t been able to get over her.” She continued in a more serious tone. The words made you snap your head towards her, but there was nothing to hide here.

Your mind started flowing with memories of those nights all across the last ten months, where you suddenly found yourself crying in Somi’s arms. You remembered that night when you started sharing secrets of who your real crushes were, spilling all the tea on your ongoing misadventures with Sooyoung. You never told her about the incident that happened a month ago, but something in the way she was looking at you gave away that she knew there was something bothering you more than usual.

Maybe neither of you were really eager at the idea of a relationship between you two, but between your very obviously staged public dates and those days where you had to take photos with each other or support at shows, a really cute friendship blossomed. 

“Promise me you’ll try your best.” She broke your train of thoughts as she grabbed your hands on hers.

“My best to what?” You questioned.

“To go for who you really love.” She launched towards you, hugging you tightly. “This world is not easy on love, so you really have to be courageous to do it. And I know you are Y/n.”

“Thanks Somi…” You tightened the hug back when the door opened again to the CEO and the man carrying beverages.

They offered one to each one of you when you broke the embrace before sitting back on their respective chairs. The silence lingered a little too long for your liking, but something inside you was eager to let this end.

“So, do we have a decision?” She crossed her hands and rested her head on top of it, ready to listen to you.

Somi locked eyes on yours offering a gentle smile back, giving you the necessary strength to say the words that needed to be said, words that were going to make the publicity team very happy.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I'm not kidding, I'm feeling very sick guys" You mumbled from the last seat in the back of the car. 

"You have been saying that for the last half hour on the road Y/n-Unnie," Your maknae turned around to make eye contact with you. "And I know that when you do feel sick you practically look like hell." 

"It's just another variety show." Your leader reminded you from her seat. "Smile, wave and be professional just like I'm sure she will be."

Another month passed and you found yourself in the middle of promoting your new comeback, but this time, a full album. Promotions were obviously an unavoidable thing, but everyone casually forgot to mention that your group was going to promote on Fact-In-Star, the show where Yves worked as a co-host. You hadn't seen her since that night that keeps repeating in your mind. What little you knew about her was thanks to social media and you were just minutes away from looking at her face to face and having to pretend that everything was alright.

But maybe everything was alright for her. Maybe it was only you who wasn’t able to move on.

The van finally stopped in the parking lot of the venue as your heart accelerated, making your entire chest rumble. You got out of the car and clutched your arms around your leader’s arm as you walked towards the greenroom. The halls seemed cold as crew staff, writers and other people politely bowed as you passed through the halls, unaware of the internal whirlwind of emotions inside of you. The room was already visible within distance, thankful that there were no unfortunate awkward encounters as of yet, but you had spoken a second too soon.

Just as the rest of your members entered the room, you on the back with your leader, the sight of a recognizable face paralysed your senses. Chuu was casually coming out of a room a few doors away from yours, what you assumed was Yves dressing room. She looked around for someone, but her eyes turned as big as the moon the instant they locked on yours, only for her to rush back inside the dressing room she came just as you entered yours.

The quick encounter only made you even more agitated, since the girl’s reaction could only mean so little things. All of the options crammed your brain endlessly as you watched your members playing with the table games in the greenroom. Your survival mode kicked in as you waved hello to the vlogging camera that your maknae was shoving into everyone’s faces and in less time that you imagined, your group was being called to the filming set. You latched again to your leader’s arm, to which she just giggled and patted your head.

“Everything’s going to be okay Y/n,” She whispered as you traveled the halls together. “You have us now.”

You gently nodded as your eyes warily lifted from the floor, just in time to lock again with someone in a few steps. Kim Lip and Chuu were just hanging in Yves' dressing room, but differently from your earlier encounter with the latter, they both offered you a gentle, nervous smile, waving her hands towards you and your leader. She took upon herself waving her hand back, as you responded back with a mild smile and a bow while you kept walking.

The bright colored set opened before your eyes, with both Yves and the other MC already chatting with the director in the corner. You saw Sooyoung’s eyes scanning cautiously over her shoulder, her arms crossed with her hands hidden under her armpits, rocking her feet nervously in place.

“C’mon,” You felt your leader tugging you towards her, clearly sensing your uneasiness. “Let’s go say hi!” 

Your fans and fansites all pulled up near the windows as you approached to greet them, it was only then that you dared moving away from your leader. You looked at the crowd cheering up on you with their lightsticks and bright smiles, and as you recognized some of your usual fansites you did cool poses for them.

But suddenly your own sight played you dirty, and the focus of your eyes shifted from the outside to your own reflection and the reflection of the set behind you. And not far behind, Sooyoung sat on her stool, staring straight at you with a delicate smile plastered on her lips, those lips you kept dreaming about every night.

Before you could even react, the crew was already asking for you to sit on your places, ready to start taping the show. Your members guided you to the middle seat at the back row, a gesture you thanked them for since it made you feel more secure that way. You made yourself as comfortable as possible, making an effort on avoiding the glances of that girl sitted a few feet away from you. 

The director called action and the male MC started their usual speech, pumping up the audience that would eventually be at the other side of the camera. Yves also introduced herself and you took advantage of the moment to take a peek at the girl. Just as your leader told you before, and you knew it too, she was someone very professional, she didn’t seem faced at all.

You spotted Chuu and Kim Lip amongst the camera crew, attentively looking at their older member. It was when Yves finished her introduction that you noticed Chuu giving her thumbs up, as Kim gestured to her to breathe deeply. You snapped your head towards Sooyoung, who nervously nodded back to them, took a deep breath and then shuffled her cue cards.

The MC introduced your group and you all stood up to make the greeting. Maybe it was a defense mechanism, but as soon as you sat down again your mind blanked. You zoomed out of the moment, your brain muffling all the words being spoken and laughed at around you. Your brain only caught the occasional scattered words, but not enough to truly understand what was going on. You laughed when everyone laughed and nodded when everyone nodded, that was until your brain thankfully caught your name being thrown into the conversation by the male MC.

“Y/n! Since it seemed that you suffered the terrible consequences of going viral on your last comeback,” The statement got a laugh out of the entire room, as you turned your head around to make eye contact with him, your eyebrows rising exaggeratedly to prove you were paying attention. “Can you talk to us a little about your new choreography and what are your strengths as a group over it?”

“I wouldn’t call them terrible consequences!” You giggled, trying to ease the tension on your own body. Your eyes locked on Sooyoung’s who tried attentively to listen to you too. “On the contrary, I’m thankful that so many people liked our new style and appreciated the risks implied. If it wasn’t for the bold choices we made last time, we wouldn’t be here promoting a full album now!”

The room clapped at your words, as a smile was drawn on your lips. 

“Was it hard to learn the choreography this time around?” The MC continued the questions towards you. 

“Just a little, it definitely was easier than last time.” You chuckled, a far memory returning to your mind in the moment took over your mouth. “But well, we’ve had really good choreographers and dancers these past comebacks, it would have been impossible to make it this far without them.”

“I’m so glad to hear that, credit where credit’s due. And talking about credit…” The room tensed from corner to corner as everyone was anticipating the next words of the MC, as he turned his body around to face Yves. “You participated in the making of the choreography with them on the last comeback right?”

“That’s- that’s right.” Yves mumbled, a faint forced smile visible over her face.

“And did you help this time around?” He kept making the questions, making Yves visibly more uncomfortable with each one.

“No, I didn’t” Her response was dry, surprising the room. She cleared her throat and forced the smile back on her face. “There were… schedule issues.”

“Aw that’s too bad!” The MC tried salvaging the situation by upping the energy in his reactions. “But since you’re our dance machine, I say Y/n can teach you the point moves with no problem!”

Your breath halted at the suggestion, the eyes of the entire room now over you. You took a deep breath and repeated the words of your leader over and over in your brain: Be professional just like I'm sure she will be.

“Sure, I can do that.” All your members raised their eyebrows in surprise at your eagerness as you jumped out of your seat, and fixed your clothes as you walked towards the middle.

But it was Yves’ movements who seemed more hesitant as she carefully left her cue cards over her seat and warily approached the middle.

You walked her through all the point movements of the hook of your new comeback. You knew perfectly she wouldn’t take long to get them, if only you weren’t staring at each other’s lips every time you talked around the movements. The movements were powerful, never lacking a sprinkle of sensual charisma on them. For anyone looking at you two without context, the scene could have looked as luring each other to something more.

“I think you have them!” The MC tried easing the tension that could be cut with a plastic knife. “Play the music!”

Your comeback song started glaring across the megaphones in the studio. And just a glance was enough for you to coordinate your bodies perfectly. Hitting every count and movement with the power and grace necessary. It had been such a long time that you had forgotten how much of a good chemistry you shared with each other, especially over a dance floor. 

The fragment came to an end, and in an adrenaline rush, you turned to offer Sooyoung a bright smile, as you fixed your hair. She smiled back at you, her cheeks slightly blushing at your image. For a moment it felt like everything was alright, like it was only you and your best friend and nothing else mattered. 

“Wow!” The MC cheered as the room exploded in applause. “I’m going to be the first one to ask for your two to have a special stage together someday!”

We giggled at his comment as we went back to our places, riding the high of the moment. If only the MC didn’t decide to drag the moment all across the floor.

“I also believe Y/n is available!” He teased Yves, and in that moment you swear you heard a cosmic facepalm across everyone that knew your history. “Maybe Yves can throw her shot!”

The mood in the room darkened, Yves alarmingly snapped her eyes to her bandmates, both of them offering her nervous smiles and breathing motions. The MC noticed the dreadful tension in the room and swiftly moved to the next game.

You were thankful for your group mates, as they didn’t compel you to participate for the rest of the show, since you once again entered survival mode, trying to avoid Yves as much as possible.

It seemed like a mutual sentiment, with all the questions she made, directly aimed at your other members. You knew she had it worse in some way, you just had to stand there and smile and nod but she had to be a functional interacting human, pretending to be okay with your presence there. 

It seemed like forever to you, but the taping finally got to an end. Your group thanked the crew and the MCs before heading back to the greenroom to gather your stuff back. And you sat there clutching your purse for dear life, ready to spring out of your seat when the managers arrived to get you to the dorms.

Your body bounced when a sudden knock at the door stopped the commotions inside the room, one of your members opened it, to reveal a crossed-arms Kim Lip and the usual cheery Chuu behind her. 

“Can I please talk to you for a moment?” Kim Lip motioned your leader, who promptly stood up from her seat and left the room with the other two girls.

You didn’t understand what was taking so long, you just wished everything to be over. You got your phone out to play some games while you waited, but your brain was trying so hard to distract itself from the situation that you didn’t notice each and everyone of your members and staff leaving the room, until an unfamiliar silence crammed the room and lifted your eyes.

Your leader and Kim Lip stood there with their arms closed looking at you, the door was wide open behind them, Chuu peeking out from it.

“What is this about?” You questioned, getting up from your chair. 

“How is it even possible that you both literally stop functioning correctly when the other is near?” Kim Lip reprimanded.

“What do you me-” You blinked slowly, trying to process her words.

“It’s childish and you both need to figure it out.” Your leader continued, you heard Sooyoung’s whines on the other side of the wall approaching, dawning on your mind exactly what they both meant. “And you’re going to figure it out now.”

“Please don’t, I really don’t want to do this!” You heard her voice coming even closer, just when Chuu pushed Sooyoung into the room with you, slamming it close behind her back. Silence filled the air while the only two people in the room couldn’t help but keep staring at each other for what seemed hours for both of you.

“Sooyoung…” You started, a sigh escaping your mouth when you accepted that this was happening one way or another

“Y/n…” She continued, imitating your stance. 

“Let’s make this quick, I really want to get out of here.” You defended. “And for what I heard you don’t want to do this either.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to Y/n-” She crossed her arms defensively. 

“Sooyoung, you literally just screamed that you didn’t want to do this.” You walked closer, your hands aggressively motioning towards her.

“I meant I didn’t want it to happen like this,” She warily moved closer to.

“How else were you planning for it to happen when we don’t even want to be looking at each other?” You furrowed your eyes, your head hurting from all the unreleased tension in your body. “I thought you didn’t even want to see me again.”

“Of course I wanted to,” Her hands fidgeted over her arms, “I just wanted to wait until this… thing faded away.”

“What thing?” You hesitated, genuinely curious at her words.

“You know, this thing that…” Her eyes locked on the floor, as she moved even closer to you. She took a deep breath releasing it all with a sigh, and gathered all the bravery available in her body to continue talking. “This thing that doesn’t allow me to forget that night, that it doesn’t let me forget how you lips felt against mine. Heck, it’s eating me on the inside and I know what I did was bad but I wish I felt even a bit remorseful, but I don’t.”

You glanced at her, the same posture you saw those months ago that afternoon in the park. She kept restraining her own thoughts, trying to contain the explosiveness for which you knew her very well. The silence following her confession crushed you both, her eyes painfully rising to meet your, silently begging for an answer.

“It was unexpected,” You cleared your throat, your tone flat as you tried to avoid her gaze now.

“I’m sorry if that made caused any trouble-”

“You don’t have to worry about it now,” You scoffed, trying to ease the friction in the air. “But you’re right, we should both wait for this thing to fade out. Maybe then we can try again.”

“We?” She furrowed her eyes at you.

“Yes, we.” You hid your hands in your pockets, shyly explaining. “We can’t have one of us still feeling the same way if we’re trying to get back our friendship.”

“Wait, you feel the same way?”

“Oh please-” You let your arms fall behind your sides, closing your eyes as you shook your head. “I have been thinking non-stop about that every day since it happened. There’s not a single day where I don’t think about you and your smile and your… stupidly good kiss and how much I want you to do that again.”

“But you and Somi-”

“Sooyoung c’mon! You really thought that was real!?” You raised your tone, incredulous. “It was all a PR stunt!”

“Well, how was I supposed to know if you don’t explain it to me?!” She replied in the same tone.

“How was I supposed to explain if you refused to answer my calls?!” You snapped back taking a step forward

“Are we really going to go through this again?!” She grunted, leaning in towards you.

“Apparently!” You growled.

You didn’t notice how or when exactly happened, but your bodies were so close to each other that your lips hovered hungrily above hers, not more than an inch away. You felt each other’s breath warm against the other’s cheeks, your eyes indecisively alternating between her lips and eyes. You both knew exactly what had to follow, you just had to confirm that the other wanted it as much. A necessity took up your will in a bolt of bravery as you dared to talk first.

“Finish this.” You urged. Your eyes latched on hers as you felt the rhythm in your heart accelerate, making your breathing heavier. “Or I��ll finish this myself.”

“Your turn.” She scoffed.

Your hands surrounded her waist, pulling Sooyoung to you as she quickly snaked her arms around your shoulders. Time stopped for both of you as your lips clashed in a starving exigency for each other. You felt your legs trembling, your stomach filled with butterflies as her hands lurked up, her fingers travelling through your hair with a mind of their own. A gasp escaped Sooyoung’s lips when you fiercely tightened your hands on her waist, pushing her against a wall in pure desire.

You recognized the flavor of her favorite sweet beverage in the taste of her lips, as a knot untied on your chest, warmth raiding every single cell in your body after you breathed her perfume and it didn’t feel prohibited. A cold drop of water caressing your cheek made you realize that Yves was tearing up. You gently broke the kiss, bringing one hand to clean up the falling droplets from the corner of her eyes.

“Are you okay Sooyoungie?” The mention of the cute pet name felt so pleasant to say as much as it felt delightful for Yves to hear it again, managing to get a delicate smile to her lips.

“Do you think this can work?” She gasped on your neck as she evened her breath. Her teary eyes looking hopeful for yours.

“We can try.” You smirked back to her, “As long as you answer my calls-”

“I hate you so much.” She sneered, pushing your chest with her hands, a playful grin, that first love smile that you missed so much emerging on her glowing face. 

Her hands latched at the collar of your jacket, bringing you close to her once more, her lips hungrily capturing yours once again, dancing together between unavoidable smiles and glares full of promises that seemed possible again. 

“Okay, I think we have given you both enough time so...” Lip’s voice ringing in the room as the door opened made you both jerk apart in surprise, paralyzing you in your place as you looked at the blonde innocently entering the room. But when her eyes locked on your intimate closeness against the wall, her eyes widened, clear panic starting to run through her veins as she sped up her speech, baking up her steps. “I’M GLAD YOU WORKED YOUR DIFFERENCES TELL ME WHEN YOU’RE READY TO GO HOME BYEEEE.” 

The burst of laughter both of you in the room let out when you heard Kim Lip screeching on the other side of the wall just after closing the door again, was enough to dissipate what little tension was left between you and Sooyoung that could still exist. She lured your chin with her hand to face her again.

“I think they can wait a little more…” She snuck her hand to the back of your neck, caressing seductively. “Where were we?”

“You haven’t answered if you’re gonna answer my calls though.” You jokingly replied.

“Ah, why do I even bother.” She mumbled, with a big sigh escaping from her smile. Sooyoung used the hand on the back of your neck to bring you back to her, pecking your lips once more, ecstatic that now she was able to do that as much as she wanted.

[bunchofstraydogs]

You asked for it :> So may I request the rest of BSD playing Genshin? 😘🥰

Darling, since I can't write that many characters in one go, I thought I should give you something special. I present... 💫 women 💫

Women of BSD as Genshin Impact players

tw: you're in bsd fandom, you know all the tw there are by now

Kyouka Izumi- Assasin in the streets, babysitter in the... Genshin Impact

Kyouka is that cute, stubborn kid that overfixates on things. Atsushi is things. Look, we all know Kyo-chan is mad intelligent and talented and it shows in her game play. Right off the bat she got the sense of the gameplay of every type of character and decided what works best for her. She knows what type of team she's going for and knows how to manage her materials wisely.

When she plays alone, Kyouka works towards bettering her characters and pushing through the storyline. Her favourite way to play the game is with Atsushi, whether alone or in co-op with others. Playing with Jinko is a huge win-win situation for her - she helps him beat up whatever he needs to take down and complete puzzles, he gives her praises and gratitude. And materials, but seldom does she take them.

Her main job, though, is to protect Atsushi and his world from the otherworldly evil known as the suicidal maniac, Dazai Osamu. She's fairly successful.

Main Team: MC, Klee, Keqing, Rosaria

Sub Team: MC, Qiqi, Fischl, Hu Tao

Mains MC, both for her flexibility with elements and because she likes being the little sister to Atsushi's male MC.

Yosano Akiko- retired nurse, now a terrorist

Did you really think she'd stay a healer without having the sadistic satisfaction of hurting people in grotesque ways? Nay. She doesn't have a single healer on team. She either has a teammate who's a healer like Haruno, or she wastes abundance of food until she can teleport to a statue of the seven.

Her game play is on crack, basically. She has several energy spurs, sometimes several times a day, where she rages through the game, before losing interest and going shopping. It's very possible with her that days can pass before she feels like playing again. Then she binges the game for hours and repeat.

When i say she acts like on crack i mean it. She has rage in her veins instead of blood. She tanks her characters and goes out looking for fights with worst possible opponents. Hell, she'll under equip her party just to see how many mofos can she take down in weak state. Spoilers, a fair few. She does die quite a bit, and is almost always out of food, but she's just as stubborn as she's crazy. Those two thing correlate probably. Which is why she made Azdaha her bitch. Her party consists either of strong, hot milfs women like herself, or twinks. You won't see someone like Childe disrespecting her vibe.

Main Team: Beido, Venti, Hu Tao, Rozaria

Sub Team: Lisa, Yanfei, Ningguang, Xingqiu

Beido and Lisa main. Bad bitches only.

Naomi Tanizaki- the fangirl player

She basically collects the cutest characters possible.. That's how she chooses her characters, based on cuteness. She went for the hot ones first to pull her brother but she got jealous and changed her tactic. You know she's spending her money on character skins and certain banners. She's insanely lucky tho?? She got Qiqi on the standard banner as her first 5*, pulled Klee on her banner in little over four 10 pulles and got Diona eventually anyway. Baraba and Xiangling were free and she mained Xiangling untill Klee rolled in. She spent some money on Venti and was already in pity when Ganyu came around. She's fully ready to whale for Kokomi though.

Now i know i said she's incredibly lucky, right? Yeahh that luck has to turn against something to keep the balance and well... she's still crying over Chongyun.

She usually co-ops with her brother, it's a daily ritual. Loves co oping with everyone though, mostly Haruno, Atsushi and Kyouka. She made online friends as well. Actually, there is one person she co ops with almost as much as she does with her brother. IchiGawa is her Genshin bestie and they talk about their crushes and infatuations besides the game itself. Her friend is the only secret she keeps from her brother.

Main Team: Klee, Diona, Venti, Barbara

Sub Team: Razor, Xiangling, Xingqiu, Qiqi

A Klee main.

Haruno Kirako- the healer

Literal angel. You need her, i need her, ADA needs her, the president needs her, just... yes. Her whole team consists of support- healers and crowd control characters. She was a f2p at first, but realised she earns her own money and can spend it however she wishes and she chose the monthly cards.

She's a necessity, point blank. She can get intimidated by new foe at first, but when backed up by her friends, she becomes determined and flexible. Pays good attention to her teammates, most importantly, their health bars, and acts accordingly.

The only reason most of them made it as far as they have, being as reckless as they are.

Main Team: Albedo, Barbara, Jean, Venti

Sub Team: Qiqi, Noel, Jean, Xinyan

Mains Albedo and Barbara

Fan fact: She's very fascinated infatuated with Albedo!! He's even her home screen and has posters and key chain of him.

Gin Akutagawa- that cottagecore assassin

You may be wondering what that could even mean. Let me tell you, she brought Animal Crossing to Genshin Impact. Sure she takes care of her characters and they're pretty powerful, but she kicks ass in real life as well. The game is her little getaway, especially since Serenity pot has been introduced. She's been making away her home for her and her brother characters. You can see her chop wood, collect materials, taking pictures with her friends and her brother, sometimes of pretty scenery and cute moments. A very wholesome player.

She's the type to help her friends explore their world and help them find oculi, open chests, shrines, collect flowers, mine... She's very patient, but if she sees her co-op teammates struggle with something, she'll jump in to help do it herself untill told to back off. In which case she will listen and silently give her support, usually with the cheering stickers in the chat.

She's f2p! Sure, she could get the monthly card at least, as Ryunosuke told her, but she really wants to enjoy the game on her own terms and have what she does through her own effort and hard work. It just feels satisfying to her and more personal.

Main Team: Jean, Ayaka, Diluc, Barbara

Sub Team: Doesn't have one! She just changes characters if certain elements are needed.

Jean main!! She admirers the relationship her and Barbara have. While she's the younger of the two, she's taken the mantle of the older sibling, in a way, and is looking after her reckless as heck brother and cares for him like Jean does for Barbara. Jean is also a wonderful person in her eyes and Gin harbours great respect for the blonde.

Higuchi Ichiyo- IchiGawa 🤡

I love Higuchi so much, but my girl is a mess and a half. Help her, please. No, really, she needs help. She's been over compensating for not being dramatic and eye catching in the battlefield, and has now found a new way to prove herself to her Akutagawa-san. Problem is, as soon as she sees a potentially powerful character, she has to get them and boost them to the havens... yeahh, good thing you can't do loans in the game, otherwise she'd have sharks on her ass for having a bill as dramatic and eye catching as Tsunade's from Naruto. Our girl out there turning heads for wrong reasons. She's definitely spent her pay checks on the game "oh no no, i just buy the monthly subscription, ehe" ehe my ass, you bankrupt bitch. Baal is coming and she's looking to sell a kidney. No, it's not her own and no, it doesn't have anything to do with the game. It's a mission, for God's sake.

But hey, the game is a good investment for her! She even made a friend, one that totally understands her how she feels!! They're very alike as well, ready to do anything for the person they love. The two talk about love a lot and have bonded over it. Higuchi is actually a jealous and a protective type of person, so she hides her friend from Gin and Tachihara like snake hides it's legs. If only they knew 🤡. But it's better this way as they both have a certain sense of normalcy and familiarity they were missing in their daily lives. (Higuchi and Naomi meeting scenario when?)

Main Team: Xiao, Fischl, Xingqiu, Diluc

Sub Team: Baal (soon?), Venti, Ganyu, Zhongli

She mains Xiao because he reminds her of Akutagawa-san and yes, she uses characters from her sub team when playing with others.

Fan Fact: when she was asked why her username is IchiGawa, she said she's like a river 🤡 No, it does absolutely not stand for Ichiyo Akutagawa.

Ozaki Kouyo- the husbando and loli collector

Don't get the wrong idea when i said loli collector. She just needs to adopt them and look after them. She also enjoys watching her precious babies kick ass like her Kyouka. But that's a two way sword, because she gets angry when they die. Savage.

And yeahh, the real reason she's playing the game... Mr Zhongli. She switches often between eng and jpn audios because she can't decide which sounds sexier. Also, Mr Diluc? Yes, she would like to be served one sex on the beach please and thank you! Ah, Mr Kaeya, a perfect window of opportunity, yes.

She has a huge spot for the teenager group as well. Razor, Bennett, Fishl, Xiangling, Xingqiu and Chongyun are also her kids. She just finds them very precious (don't we all?).

Main Team: Zhongli, Kaeya, Bennett, Diluc

Sub Team: Diona, Klee, Qiqi, Sayu

A Zhongli and Diluc main.

Bonus:

Elise- the evil lackadaisical player

Mori found out about the game from Higuchi and Tachihara and introduced it to Elise, telling her she should make a team of sweet little girls like herself and have fun going on adventures around Teyvat. In response, Elise made a team that, not only does it not have a single child in it, but is using it to gaslight and bully Rintarou.

"Why aren't you smart and inventive like Albedo?"

"Why aren't you as passionate and persistent as Sucrose?"

"Look how capable, loved and admired Ningguang is. You could never."

"I wish i had someone as strong, caring, handsome and rich like Childe looking after me. He would treat me like a real princess. "

Mori has been crying rivers ever since.

Thing is, Elise isn't even that interest in the story. Actually, she couldn't care less. Some characters are interesting to her and she likes the graphics, but other than that, she's mostly playing the game to torture the greasy doctor (as she should).

Main Team: Albedo, Sucrose, Ningguang, Childe

Sub Team: doesn't have one

Doesn't have a main either, she plays whoever she feels like playing.

I wanted to add Lucy too, but my mind wasn't cooperating ;-; Sorry about that. I do hope you liked this, Eli 💛