#there is far too much negative relatability and far too little positive relatability

[theamazingannie]

Started watching Heartstopper two years ago cuz it seemed like a cute little show and now I’m here sobbing throughout season 3 cuz it is all very Real

[writtenbymoonflower]

Unpretty

You are insecure and Peter is oblivious. tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader

cw: reader had very negative thoughts about body image. mentions of weight and general body image issues. i tried to keep it as neutral as possible so everybody could read and relate, so it can be read as plus!size reader or not.

1.5k words

The position you were in wasn’t unnecessarily uncomfortable. The physical part felt really nice, actually. Peter was laid on his side, nose nuzzled into your hair while you were in his arms flat on your back. His even breathing was soothing and you felt close and warm. 

Emotionally, however, you felt confused. 

You had to resist cringing every time you remembered that Peter’s large hand was spread over the bottom of your tummy, likely feeling everything “wrong” about it. He could definitely feel it wasn’t as flat or firm as you would like it to be, even through your thick crewneck. And even though you logically knew it was impossible, you felt the stinging insecurity all over your body, like he was touching you everywhere you hated. Your brain was telling you that through feeling the soft part of your stomach, he could also feel and see where your thighs were too big, where stretchmarks were painted all over your body, and where your skin wasn’t completely smooth. 

He probably would hate my body as much as I do if he could see. The little voice in your head nagged. 

Obviously, you knew that wasn’t true. You knew that everyone had little things that bothered them and yours weren’t even especially unusual. You also knew that voicing these thoughts to Peter would likely lead to you being even more self-conscious and him being confused. Or even worse, him pitying you. You were snapped out of your spiral by Peter’s shifting in position. 

“What’re you thinking of, baby?” Peter whispered. To your horror, his hand started rubbing your stomach over your sweater. “I can practically see the steam coming out of your ears.” He laughed the way he does when trying to calm you down, like he doesn’t think it’s funny but it might be less intimidating if you believe he does. You turned your head to look at him. Being this close didn’t allow you to see his full face, but you could see one of his pretty brown eyes, looking at you with far too much love for your heart to handle.

“Not thinking of anythin’ really.” You kept your voice as even as possible and hoped he didn’t hear the nervous hitch in your breath as he reached under the hem of your sweatshirt to touch your skin. You panicked and tried to cover by grabbing his hand in yours and holding it between your ribs, right under your chest. He looked confused but still stroked your hand with his thumb.

“Yeah okay.” He was sarcastic and rolling his eyes but his voice was still light. He brought your joined hands up to kiss the veins on your wrist, closing his eyes and letting his lips linger for a good few seconds. All while still burning his eyes over your face, letting his pupils linger over a feature before jumping to the next, admiring your whole face with so much care you would cry. 

“What?” You asked, growing shy under his intense stare. 

“You’re so pretty, baby.” He was still smiling at you like a fool. “So so pretty.” He sing-songed. He urged you to lay on top of him with his arms, but you held fast in your place. Your boyfriend apparently took this as a challenge, because he showed off his real strength by pulling you fast onto his chest. 

“Peter!” You said, scolding and nervous and flustered all at once. 

“What?” He asked smugly, with a look of triumph on his face. You ducked your head out of his eyesight. “Baby, what’s up?” He asked again, more sincere. You still didn’t answer, your anxiety was roaring too loud in your head. You were probably crushing him under your weight. His hands were planted on your hips, likely feeling the extra fat and getting grossed out. He was just too nice to say anything. He was also too far close to your face for comfort, definitely seeing patches of oily skin or blemishes littering your face. It all became too much for you and you tried to roll off of him, but he gripped onto you harder. 

“Peter, let me off.” You kept your voice light but you were panicking inside. 

“Yeah, not happening.” He stayed stubborn as a mule. 

“But I’m heavy, I’ll crush you.” You said desperately. 

“Good.” He rebutted, still acting as if this was a casual conversation. 

“Peter, I’m serious. I’m too heavy for this. You’re going to hurt yourself.” Your voice trailed off, getting quieter towards the end. The whole sentence was soaked in shame that Peter hadn’t yet picked up on. Now, there was a concerned crease between his eyebrows. 

“Huh?” He looked genuinely confused. “What put that dumb idea in your head? ‘Too heavy’ for what, exactly?” He started as if he was about to rant, but cut it short. To your dismay, he pulled more of your weight onto him. 

“It’s not dumb, it’s true. I’m just too heavy” You argued back. He couldn’t really be that oblivious. Anyone with eyes could see it. 

“Oh I’m sorry,” He started sassing, like he actually wasn’t sorry at all. “I didn’t know that you now were the only deciding judge of something being ‘too much.’” He was being defiant on purpose. 

“Peter, please.” All joking and argumentativeness had left your tone, just leaving shame and sadness. Peter softened at this and encouraged your head up to meet his eyes, holding your jaw firmly so you couldn’t look away. He looked like he was slowly putting pieces together in his head. 

“Baby,” He started, still not breaking eye contact with you. “Is this why you’ve not been letting me touch you as much?” Peter looked so sad, it didn’t suit him at all and you wanted to make it better immediately. “Do you think there’s something wrong with you, that I would think there’s something wrong with you?” On the last sentence he was extra distressed, like he couldn’t believe the words were leaving his mouth. 

“I just-” You were trying to articulate your feelings without making this any worse. “I mean, not every part of me is pretty, you know that.” You tried to say it casually but Peter’s expression didn’t lighten at all. Instead, his bottom lip jutted out and his eyes got wider, looking like a cartoonishly sad puppy who was denied a treat. 

“I don’t know that, actually.” He moved his hand to the back of your head, threading his fingers in your hair. “You don’t think you’re pretty?” He said the last part like his heart was cracking. And in Peter’s mind, it was. His baby was thinking badly of herself, and even worse, she was thinking he thought badly of her. 

“I mean,” You cringed as the words left your mouth, wanting desperately for the conversation to end. “Not really. At least, there is a lot about me that could be a lot better.” Peter was at a loss for words. You had obviously mulled this over and were solid in your opinion. 

“I don’t think there is. I think you are perfect. I love everything about you.” He said softly, his voice missing its usual teasing tone.

“But-” You started, but cut yourself off. 

“But what?” Your argumentative boyfriend was back. “C’mon. Talk to me, baby.”

“I just-” You gathered your thoughts as best you could. He was really being difficult. There was no way he hadn’t noticed something. You also really did not want to say your insecurities out loud. It was too raw. But you knew Peter, and he wouldn’t back off without you giving something. “My stomach isn’t flat.” You said, as if that was enough argument for you being disgusting. 

“Okay?” He actually laughed at this, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “And?” 

You rolled your eyes, irritated. “And, in general I’m just too big. And my skin isn’t good either. It just doesn’t all add up very well does it?” You resisted the urge to cry, you didn’t want to add that on top of this already stressful discussion. 

“Sweetheart,” He looked exasperated. “I think- I think you’re being really mean and unfair to yourself.” He searched for the right words. “Everyone has things about themselves they don’t like, yeah? But you should know, you are not too anything, and there is nothing about your looks or body that is ‘not good.’’ He said every word firmly. “And most importantly, there is nothing, absolutely nothing about your body that I dislike, or that you should worry about me seeing or touching, okay?” His voice was soft during the last few sentences, like he was speaking to a little kid with a scraped knee. It made it a lot harder to resist crying. “Okay?” he said, still looking directly into your eyes. 

“Okay.” You said, watery. You swallowed hard and buried your face in his chest, feeling all too many emotions. “Thank you, Pete.” You didn’t think you could say anything else without falling apart. 

“It’s okay. I'ts alright. It’s what I’m here for.” He stroked the back of your head, still being gentle. “Just do me a favor, yeah?” 

“Mhm?” You muffled.

“Just, make my job easier for me next time. Tell me when you’re feeling like this, okay baby?” He pleaded as he pressed a kiss to your hair. 

“Okay. I will.” 

“Good. Now cuddle me please.” Demanding Peter was back. “And put all your weight on me, it’s no good otherwise.” 

[leggerefiore]

we've seen drabbles/hcs of ingo or emmet, even cyrus when their partner gets isekai'd to hisui, but what about the others? Like nanu, larry, giovanni or grimsley??? THINK OF THE ANGSTTTT 💔

why not all of them lol

cw: angst, comfort at the end, dealing with a missing partner,

characters: Nanu, Larry, Grimsley, Giovanni

You had left quickly, excusing yourself out to a nearby convenience store in walking distance. He thought little of it. The experience was common enough, and he did not feel particularly like joining at that moment for various reasons. Everything felt normal. It was a regular evening… Until far too much time had passed with nothing from you. No text, call, or your return. Suddenly, he felt his brain kick into action…

🐈‍⬛️Nanu❤️‍🩹

🌑 The Kahuna grumbles and knows better than to outright panic. This was precious time if you were missing, yes, but there was little evidence of that, even if it felt apparent to him. Really, Alola was a peaceful place. He knew that. You, as his partner, also had the protection of Tapu Bulu. The guardian deity taking quite a shine to you… Your remark about them having similar personalities on his mind. He found himself at the store to ask about you, but the clerk shrugged and shook their head. They had not seen you. Nanu's breath hitched. He gave a nod and began his search around the area you would have travelled, asking those he passed careful questions. A few had seen you, but claimed you suddenly disappeared, even when you were clear to overtake them by walking. He felt truly worried now. A search was soon formed.

🌑 It had come up with nothing. Your bag had been found in a bush, undisturbed. He went through the items carefully, but nothing was missing. Apparently, you had just vanished in the ether while walking. It made no sense… Even the Aether Foundation stepped in to confirm or deny whether an Ultra Wormhole was involved – His worst possible nightmare. The idea of you pulled away to some strange foreign world while under his protection brought out for too many negative feelings. Even his Persian bunting, her head against him hardly could snap him from his stupor. Only the confirmation that it was, in fact, not anything to do with UBs calmed him slightly. But, then it worsened again. What had taken you–? The Aether Foundation detected something similar, but not anything related to UB energy.

🌑 He fully threw himself into finding you, no matter what. The old man could not recall the last time he had felt so impassioned about something. Nothing could deter him – Nothing could make him happy. He felt lost. Another situation… Another failure. His heart ached. Tapu Bulu cruelly denied his request to leave the islands. He needed to – The International Police offering back a position and offering their aid in his plight. But, he was stuck. There was no fleeing. He felt stuck in time. All he could do was everything he did before, and it felt like a knife was being twisted inside him as time passed. Why had he let himself feel love? It felt so idiotic. He wanted to despise himself for making such a choice. (But, when glanced at a picture of you two together, his heart softened. His negative feelings faded for a moment. His love for you, all that remains inside him.)

🌑 Then, one day – nearly a year later, a knock rasped against his door. It was quiet… Uncertain. He grumbled and walked over, expecting a child asking for their first pokemon for their island challenge. Instead, his heart stopped. You stared at him, a small smile on your face. Your clothing was odd – reminding him much of what a certain friend of his had taken to wearing. But, there was little time to question it when the tension of his muscles that stopped him from moving faded in an instant. Arms came around you as he held you tight to himself. The embrace was immediately reciprocated by you. A shaky breath left him. Soon, he would demand to know everything. Soon, but not now– No, for now, he just wanted you close to him so he could continue to know that you were real – not some hallucination thrown up by his desperate subconscious. Your voice was his name, was his only tether to reality. Finally, he left himself smile again.

💼Larry🏢

🍙 The businessman was perturbed. Medali was not exactly dangerous, but he was not so optimistic to believe that everyone acted with good intentions. He walked the street to the store, looking around to see if you got sidetracked or pulled into a conversation by an overly chatty acquaintance. But, no. The store clerk did not even recall you entering, much less buying anything. Larry felt at an impasse. Was this something really for concern? Did he need to make a stir? There was no real way to confirm that you had something unfortunate happen. He hesitates, wasting precious time because of his uncertainty. Strangely, he sent a message to Rika, wanting advice from a colleague on what to do. She contacted the police without hesitation and told him she would be talking to Geeta about it. He felt his shoulders fall.

🍙 The first search was not fruitful. Little could be gathered, but your bag was found. Nothing was disturbed. His eyes scanned the items, desperately searching for anything that could give him a hint as to what happened. Nothing. He was no inquisitive sort, nor was he some active actor within these things. He just felt lost. There was nothing that he could do. All he could continue to do was be a passive participant in life. While it was everything he had done before, he felt like he was falling deeper into an unreachable state. Why? This sort of thing should not happen to him – to you. You were both relatively normal, he felt. Any attempts by his pokemon to cheer him up failed horribly. He was like an automaton imitating human life. A facade of completely nothing to get through the days.

🍙 But, he searched still. Geeta clearly saw the state of her subordinate and did not feel as passive as Larry did. Without hesitation, she initiated more searches. While she might not act the kindest all the time, part of her really did not enjoy seeing Larry suffering in such a manner. His schedule was rearranged to allow him to join in on the searches and try to find you. Yet nothing came. Nothing changed. It was as if you managed to vanish into thin air. People recalled seeing you one moment but not in the next. It was a maddening kind of thing for the everyman. He was not built to navigate stress more intense than a regular workplace kind. Each passing day brought him further and further from you. All he had, once more, was his work. It all felt tiring, but there was no way for him to do anything else. Idle moments made his mind wander. His usual way of freezing more concerning as he thought of you. Somehow, he had found himself a partner – One that did not mind his difficulties and tribulations. And, somehow, he lost them in the most mysterious way possible. His feet only started moving again when someone cleared their throat.

🍙 Then, one day, Geeta came to him at the Treasure Eatery. It had been nearly a year since everything had happened, and he had adapted as well as one could. A polite smile was on her face as she asked him to cut his lunch short – she had something for him. He relented, his only enjoyable pass time, and followed her. They entered his gym office. Before he could ask what was going on, a voice called out an unwanted nickname. “Larr-bear.” His head snapped in the direction of it. There you stood. You looked worse for wear, clothing clean (albeit odd), but stress clearly having an effect on you. You smiled, though. You smiled brightly. Larry was shocked into silence, dropping his briefcase in response. Geeta stepped aside as you embraced him. Many questions rushed through his mind – Many he could not dare ask. Yet… He embraced you back and closed his eyes. Your warmth was real. This was real. A rare smile broke his face. Finally, he felt normalcy return.

♠️Grimsley❤️

♤ He was absolutely a betting man and knew the odds were off. Not only that, he prided himself on being able to read and understand people. You, especially, as his partner. This was wrong. He knew it was wrong. It was why he acted with little hesitation to follow out where you went a search for you. Was Black City the nicest play in Unova? Absolutely not. He stayed there because it fitted his needs, but a certain invitation from a friend made him make plans for the future. He questioned people casually, checking if anyone had seen you and how far you had made it. Apparently, he quickly found out that you never even made it to the store. Frustration burned in his veins, but he forced himself to remain calm. A search was needed, he knew. Time was precious as it stood.

♡ It was admittedly small. Things like this were seldom taken seriously. Plus, with Grimsley's reputation as a playboy, authorities just assumed it was a scorned lover disappearing on their cheating partner. While that was almost certainly not the case, a volunteer search at least came up with something to validate that and draw attention back. Your bag. It lied undisturbed among some building's potted fauna. He held it closely, observing what was in it. Everything was in order. His stomach twisted as he knew something horrible was afoot. He hated pulling his title, but throwing around his weight to actually make sure things were done felt important. He put it all on the line to make sure it happened. The thought of anything happening to you drove him mad.

◇ Each passing day made him feel lost. His usual haunts were not fun when his heart only yearned for you. This was not fair – Life was not fair. Battling was annoying. Errors kept springing up in his Elite Four battles, and the league took notice. He was forced to take time off to recuperate from the stress of it all. Everything felt like the opposite of his previous reality. The pillars of salt grumbling at long last. His losses stacked up. A big gamble, nothing but pure risk, saw his final downfall. All he could do was walk along the beach and wonder where you were. Were you taken? He had a few debts, but they were nothing serious. Enemies? Well, maybe, but kidnapping? That seemed unlikely. He watched the waves with vacant eyes. You were something truly special to him. A good luck charm, he felt now. His luck was gone without you. He took a step into the water.

♧ A year passed with no updates. Grimsley had to move away from the city, unfortunately. His income was no longer enough to keep up, and he retired from the league, no longer finding joy in lingering there. No, the bright sun of Alola burned his skin as he surfed along the waves. A rebirth of sorts. A muted one. He stood on the beach as he usually did and watched the ocean move. Nanu had asked to meet him here. His eyes closed as he flipped his coins. An internal bet was made. Tails. A fifty chance… He caught it as it fell. Tails. Arms suddenly came around his waist. He tensed up. Turning around, he felt his body feel like it had been dowsed in ice water. You stared up at him with a smile. Your clothing… It was odd. His was, too, now. Nanu... He felt grateful for his connection as he turned to embrace you. So many questions – He would ask them eventually, but it was not the time for it. Not when his good luck charm was finally back with him. A shaky breath left him as he let his face reflect his true emotions. Love burned in his gaze.

🚀Giovanni🐈

🟥 It was called in instantly to his grunts to look for you. Did your bodyguards fail? He wanted to scoff as he got up to organise everything. Viridian was not a dangerous place – Well, he knew the danger and controlled it. You were not under any risk. Yet, you had been taking too long. Worrying was not in his nature, but you liked to draw strange things out of him unconsciously. He waited for any updates. His fingers tapped against his desk. This all felt so dramatic to him. His eyes closed. A report came. You had not gone to the convenience store. People had seen you on your way there, but you never made it. His fist slammed against his desk. Naturally. Something was amiss. His intuition was not him being blind sided by his feelings towards you. Now, he called in a proper search. Someone easily could have taken you to get at him. He would not give them the pleasure.

🟥 He found himself walking the streets, watching for any signs of a struggle. Nothing. It made no sense. No one reported anything. People acted as if you had just been walking among them one moment and then were gone in the next. That was illogical. Had you run away from him? The thought annoyed him, but he supposed that was not impossible. Still, he saw no reason to treat it as that. If you wanted to leave, Giovanni would at least have preferred one final discussion. Whatever line of thinking he may have been following was interrupted when a grunt claimed to have found your bag. He picked it up, observing it carefully, before investigating the contents. Nothing seemed missing. Your ID and cards were in it. A voluntary disappearance exited his mind. He made a frightening expression. Someone had just earned his full attention.

🟥 He waited. He waited endlessly for any demands to be made of him – a ransom, disbandment of his group, for him to die. Nothing came. It was radio silent. He waited. Following searches turned up nothing new. Each passing day felt like a mocking jeer. Had someone taken you solely to drive him mad? His affection for you was not something he plainly expressed – not even among his most trusted executives. Giovanni knew his attachment towards you was dangerous for him. Yet… He did not expect such a thing to happen. His coldness and ruthlessness multiplied. It felt impossible for him to remove himself from his word – Being forced to linger on your absence was a kind of torture he wished to inflict on whoever had taken you. Alongside a few other varieties. He lived on. There was nothing else for him to do.

🟥 But, nearly a year later, a report came to him. A grunt found a strange person lingering around his home. He asked them to be brought in, expecting a petty burglar unprepared for the possible consequence of their actions. Instead, he found a familiar face before him in his office. Archer stood near him as shocked as he was. You looked exhausted but well. No obvious signs of being in an awful situation. Your clothing was odd, but you clearly looked relieved to see him. Everyone was dismissed – He needed to be alone with you. You said his name and smiled at him. A genuine smile. The urge to interrogate you crossed his mind, but he stopped himself. You clearly had still been through something. He sat back down in his chair and pulled you into his lap. You were real. This was not some cruel joke. He held you tightly to himself. For now, he would enjoy the odd comfort of your presence before moving on to what happened to you.

[macravishedbymactavish]

Hugging Headcanons (COD Ghosts x GN! Reader)

TW: Rorke. Mentions of the canon Ghosts ending, illusions to torture (nothing graphic)

| Blog HQ | MW2 Version |

David "Hesh" Walker

As we all know, Hesh is very, very open with his emotions. Both negative and positive, it's very easy to see what he's feeling at a glance.

Which means he is also very open to tell you how he feels for you (after months of pining and annoying Logan about it. Who was ready to spill his brothers secret for him, just so he could have one night without hearing about you)

Not only tells you how much he loves you, but also shows it through his hugs.

Normally quite goofy, a lot of times ending in you laughing while pushing against his chest. Trying to create space between the two of you as he only pulls you tighter.

You two also have your fair share of serious, loving hugs when the moment calls for it.

Loves watching you jump then immediately relax when he surprises you and hugs you from behind. Has almost gotten nailed right in the nose for it though.

Will hug you everywhere and anywhere that it's safe. No regard for who's watching, or your surroundings (the exception being if the surroundings/situation is dangerous)

Hesh has developed the habit of seeking you out when he needs a pick me up. Especially when his head gets a little too loud, and life becomes a bit overwhelming.

Maybe it's the feeling of security when he's wrapped up in you, but he finds it easier to deal with his emotions when being held by you. These moments seem to help him find clarity in his thoughts, and help him gain new perspective.

Especially when he's dealing with problems or topics he feels hopeless and lost about.

Hesh is just all around more level headed when he can hold you and slow his brain down for a few minutes.

Keegan Russ

He's antisocial, appreciates having a decent amount of personal space. So 1 of 2 things happens:

If you're like him, and don't particularly like people being too close. He respects it, and finds it rather endearing watching the journey of you getting a little bit closer to him each day. To the point where standing beside one another comfortably is the norm.

If you're not like him, and love being up close and personal he'll eventually form a soft spot for you. Initially gets annoyed, but holds back the attitude because he does like having you around. But maybe over there.

Don't ask me why, but I get the vibe that while he wants to hug you sooner, he doesn't. For what reason? Nobody, including himself can figure that one out.

The first hug would be work related. Whether that be a heroic "oh shit" moment where he's doing something like the clichè cover your body with his. Except far less dramatic (nobody got hurt).

Or a way to not get caught when trying to go undercover.

No, those aren't 2 Ghosts. Just a couple of overgrown teenagers loving up on one another in that dark alley. It's fine.

After that first time however, he's hugging you during every quiet moment the two of you have together.

If you're shorter than him, he's going to rest his chin on your head and hold you tight into his chest. He always feels like you're this delicate thing that needs to be protected within his embrace (even though you're not and would likely chew him out if he ever said that out loud).

If you're the same height or taller -- he loves pressing his face into your neck. It brings him unlimited comfort doing this, but he'll deny it to no end if anyone asks.

Thomas Merrick

Another guy that gives me bear hug vibes (like Price). Not overly obnoxious, but if the situation or mood calls for it he's holding you tight and considering the idea of not letting go.

Otherwise very casual with keeping physical touch. Arm around your shoulders or waist when you're sitting next to one another or walking together.

While very private about his personal life, he unconsciously wants to keep in some form of physical contact with you.

Has totally done that thing where he rests his cheek on your head, just relishing in the moment.

Especially on long rides back to whatever destination. He's gotten a couple curious looks from the newest Ghosts for this (in his defense, Logan did think it was adorable. Hesh ruined it by showing his clear confusion because Merrick's a softie?!)

They were promptly shut down by one of the other guys giving them a look of warning. Just let the man have his small moments of peace....in peace.

Call him old fashioned, but he loves when he can hold you close and slowly dance with you. Music is totally optional.

He may or may not have imagined the two of you like this on your wedding day (if marriage is in the cards for you two).

While he can come off as hot headed, and loyal/defensive to a fault (literally slamming Hesh into a wall for stepping up at Keegan) I want to say he's actually fairly laid back at home. If he needs to step in and ensure you're okay, he will in a heartbeat.

But otherwise? Totally content just lounging around with you in his arms.

Merrick also appreciates when he's the little spoon. Or being hugged from behind. Something about the feeling warms his heart in ways he can't (and won't) describe.

Logan Walker

In the beginning, you're going to have to initiate most of the hugs. While he loves them, he overthinks it too much and talks himself out of it.

Loves (and I mean LOVES) being hugged by you. Everything in the world just lines up during the time he's being held by you. Nothing bad can happen to him when you're hugging him.

The first time he hugged you (was a "from behind hug" where he rested his chin on your shoulder) you could've swore your heart might've exploded.

His confidence eventually progresses to greeting you (when appropritate, nobody dying for hugs here) with a hug and forehead kiss becoming the norm.

Hear me out on this, beach date with Logan. Hanging out by the water when he hugs you from behind....then promptly dunks you both under the water.

He'd be fully clothed and dripping wet with you, but would have such a mischievous smile on his face for the rest of the day.

That was the most fun I've had in a long time. He would tell you later that day, waiting for the sun to dry you both off.

Little does he know you're probably plotting his revenge.

Post-capture, this would be one of the first things he finds to come back naturally. They wiped most of his mind and memory, but the feeling of you in his arms and vice versa seems to be ingrained in his muscles.

Even when the world becomes a bit too much for him to handle, the comfort of your hugs grounds him and wipes his mind for a second

Elias Walker

Throwing him in here to say it would only happen under 3 circumstances:

1). You become like a third child to him

2). You are in desperate need of some familial comfort

3). You were almost seriously injured/killed on a mission and thank God you're okay. Remember how he pushed Merrick off Hesh in the helicopter scene and immediately went to calm Hesh down? I'm thinking that kind of vibe.

I don't know, he's the dad of the game and I like the idea that Mama Walker was his soulmate. He has no interest in filling that role. He's content with his sons and team filling his heart

No matter what situation causes the chain reaction leading to a hug -- it's filled with comfort and understanding.

Like hugging a parent who truly cares, and wants the best for you. Leaves your conscience feeling lighter and your soul a little warmer

Gabriel Rorke

If you're on hugging tier with this man, you're special. Like....extremely special to him.

Maybe it's my overtired brain (that initiated this idea), but I could see you being the one and only tie he has left to life pre-federation (like with Logan - the feeling of holding you and being held is muscle memory. It evokes an unconscious reaction within him).

If you were by his side on the Federation:

He'd seek you out for some form of comfort, especially after capturing Logan and starting that process. No matter how brainwashed he is and hellbent on revenge, he knows first hand how terrible the conditioning process is.

For a kid he's never met, he feels horrible for doing this to him. But duty calls and you gotta do what you gotta do.

Especially on nights when he can't get the sound of the screams and agony out of his head...and his body aches in the same way it did years prior -- he seeks you out. Relishes in the feeling of you holding him and helping him forget about the atrocities.

If you're not part of the Federation with him:

I feel like you two would cross paths in the battlefield. Which would go 1 of 2 ways:

1). You get spared, he can't quite place the details but he recognizes you as someone vastly important in his life. All he wants in exchange for your freedom is a hug -- because apparently those were really important to him at one point before all this

2). You don't get spared. Again, some part of him screams and deep dives to try and remember who you are. Details are blurry or redacted within his head; but acting on instinct he pulls you close. Despite everything, you get your last moments alive in the arms of someone you once loved.

Taglist: @bloodonmyhands-1221 @ai-luni @v1naco @bowtruckleninja

[narriose]

Thoughts on Veilguard so far:

Preface: I’m ~50 hours in with a handful of endgame spoilers.

My general values are: Story > Characters > Gameplay > Romance > Rep > Visuals.

My rating of the previous games: DA2 > DAO > DAI

Spoilers under Cut:

What I expected: Having to deal with an unappealing art style and clunky gameplay with leftover multiplayer and live service era elements that they couldn’t get rid of for the sake of the story and characters.

What I got: Well…

Let’s Start with the negatives:

-Dialogue: I want to know what happened there. Ik for a fact they had veteran BioWare writers on the team and it feels like there was a decision to dumb everything down to the point of me immediately having a line in my head that would sound better in universe every time someone spoke. It proved especially grating once I heard Morrigan speak. And when people compare the writing to MCU I cannot really protest. “Dragon Age has always been unserious” yes but like. Not every other line was a joke or relatable™️ millennial awkwardness . When jokes did happen they became memorable moments for the fandom. It’s often very difficult to listen to. Especially when Rook talks. It is getting marginally better though.

-Tone: Dragon Age has been compelling to me because it wrote conflict and trauma and corruption in a way that felt developed enough to feel grounded and believably horrific. Even with all its faults. DATV mellowed out the horrors and seems to gloss over a lot of sociopolitical dynamics and lore. Stuff like portraying crows as vigilantes and not showing the evils of Tevinter slavery. The tone itself just feels like theyre trying to make an easily marketable sanitized IP out of it to cater to a wider audience.

-Character Writing: A lot of characterization has been “Tell not show” because I’m disappointed in Lucanis and Neve. The story says one is a serious killer and the other is a cynic but both have only been friendly soft and positive which is like??? I feel like a lot of their intro has been cut out or something where they establish those traits on screen. Another thing is: there don’t appear to be actually detestable and controversial traits in characters or even internal conflict they need to overcome. They’re just dealing with some kind of external thing thrust onto them and that is very shallow to me personally.

-Intro: I know we’re not getting Origins style personalized intros again but it felt like too much is handwaived into people making their own OCs and forming headcanons when the game doesn’t let us RP much at all outside identity stuff anyway. Like how do we know Varric? Why should any of the pep talks he gives us mean anything when we haven’t experienced anything to warrant the complements he gives us?

-Villains: possibly the worst part of the story: they lit act like theyre in a preschool cartoon down to body language. No nuance no controversy no actual horror to them when in previous games the evil felt so much more pronounced because some of the villains felt human enough to be a shitty person irl.

-Rep: Sigh. Even as a transmasc I might be a little too internally transphobic for the rep in the game. It feels like so many steps ahead of what the story should be handling. Like fix the slavery problem in a meaningful way then start philosophical gender discussions about what a gender binary even is. And it’s very cringe to me when it’s spoken about in game. Like yeah I love that there’s no way to dispute what the characters are but it also feels so entirely uncreative using modern day terminology for this stuff. And I don’t mean “replace it with ambiguous sad baby talk” but something more. Like is it terrible to want that? Even if you were planning on using the word nonbinary, at least tell us what a binary even is and how it was instituted as an idea into this world. Like I do adore Taash, I just wish the gender stuff wasn’t so clumsy.

-Visuals: It’s hard man. As an artist who sees human bodies as proportion reference points, the bodies still look off to me. Like it was worse and I’m getting used to it but it’s still painful. And I’m all for trying to stylize but this particular heroforge direction was not something I would have picked.

-OST: At first I couldn’t tell Zimmer/Balfe’s stuff apart from Morris’s but yeah, the new stuff is more boring(Sans the Rivain part)

-The 3 choice thing: yeah not a fan of that. I feel like perhaps it was a part of the multiplayer era where they would not be able to import much if everyone had a massively different world state so they limited it to the tiny MC choices. Still sad that the romance thing only really matters if you romanced Solas because the Dorian cameo wasn’t anything to write home about. Kinda feels like they added him in last minute because someone pointed out how much Solas-skewed the choices were. Idk. I so expected Josie in Antiva but alas.

Now Onto the Positives:

-Codices: The very way-too modern simplified conversational dialogue style carries over to the codices. And while I despise that as a creative, I do find myself actually reading them as they come because they are so easy to absorb. I feel like a lot of people would benefit from not skipping them because there are some references and plot reveals worth checking out.

-Story: If you deafen the dialogue style, the story itself is top. Gets way better as you play and from the spoilers I’ve heard, yeah. It’s good. Can’t wait to find out more.

-Gameplay: Listen I have a massive preference for DA style combat even if most ppl call it a slog. The turn based element, the pause button, the hoarding skills I never use. It’s like coming home to me. I hated DAI combat for the amount of anxiety it induced and I usually hate fast-paced action combat in most other games. DATV made me eat my boots. Its combat is insanely fun and engaging and often times I’m looking forward to fights more than quests themselves. Very colorful, very flashy, and very effective. The pause button gives less freedom but it’s there. The combos are fun. It is like Mass Effect except I did not find commanding the companions in Mass Effect as intuitive. Tho I wish non mages had less magicey feeling attacks.

-The CC: Yeah it wowed me with the options. I like how much can be done with the facial sliders and how good the hair looks.

-Puzzles: Listen the puzzles are extremely stupid in this game. But I also am very stupid and lazy when it comes to solving them. I have looked up the vast majority of puzzle solutions for DA games. No more DA2 Fade Barrels and no more trying to circumnavigate the ad infested Fandom Wiki to get to the Kitty’s prison solution. Crafted specifically for me.

-Mechanical Things: The game is optimized insanely well. Both when It comes to your PC and the gameplay. I’m amazed how well it runs on my PC when games like BG3 and Cyberpunk make my CPU scream. Love that. As far as gameplay goes: everything is super streamlined and designed to be as un-annoying as possible. No carry weight, no collectibles as annoying and unrewarding as the shards and mosaics. The maps are easy to parse. The game does not bombard you with useless NPCs, banter can’t be interrupted and characters catch up on banter at the Lighthouse if you’ve been avoiding certain party comps by accident. The quest locator is actually helpful. Skill points can be refunded. Looting is easy and finding shit feels rewarding.

-Characters: Honestly they do have some interesting things going on and while most characters feel a little hollow so far, I was pleasantly surprised by Davrin and Bellara. Davrin is the one I’m romancing and while the actual romance isn’t groundbreaking I’m glad I chose him. Yes, his character has a lot to do with Assan and his arc, but he does have stuff going on of his own. He’s very refreshing because some of the things he says low key both makes you think and also worry about him. He’s also not your usual preppy jock type. He can be a little mean sometimes. He’s artistic and principled. He has some remnants of “opinions I don’t agree with” that I love early DA for. When it comes to Bellara, she absolutely breaks the sort of Manic Pixie/Quirky Awkward young coded girl mold. It is the fact that there is self awareness and hints of history of failure and isolation in her words. There is also masking and over-clarification that I can relate to personally. I hope there is stuff like that to other companions when I get to know them better.

Visuals: the UI and Locations are stunning. The outfits the best the game has had so far(tho wish the overall look was less stylized) The blighted stuff(sans the ogres) and the Crossroads. Beautiful.

-Dwarf Lore: started out as fucking cheesy but I just finished meeting Valta and I’m seated.

-Solas Stuff: Hated the man for a while. Caved and made a solavellan to import to get more story stuff. NGL he is actually tolerable/interesting to me in this game.

Overall: A sickly sweet combo of Disappointed and Impressed. And I’m still gonna be playing. I am used to not liking something about every DA game. That’s part of the fun for me. But damn is this one testing me. Am I having a lot of fun playing it? Absolutely. Am I finding it difficult to get through a concerning amount of dialogue…yeah. It does still feel like a DA game but also like if someone made a pg-13 live action of Inquisition and then made a supplementary game based off that. If I forget that it’s supposed to be a sequel and just treat it like an action game with plot then it’s easier. And like I’m sure at least half of what I listed as a negative can be attributed to EA meddling or prev iterations of the game being inseparable. Anyway. Can’t wait to see the ending and I will add more thoughts when I’m done.

[dykedvonte]

Ok so we know you love Benny (rightfully so, I mean look at the man) but do you have any thoughts on the other Chairmen? Swank and Tommy specifically?

I have so many thoughts on the Vegas families but even more on the Chairmen just because of how unique their position is.

Like to start off, I have mentioned and still fully believe the Chairmen are the most paranoid and distrusting of all of the Vegas families. You can get sucked into many personal dramas and plights when it comes to the other Vegas Families; Quest-lines that get you super involved with their inner workings and pasts, ergo, quest-lines like Beyond the Beef and How Little We Know. Other than the very little side quest we get from Tommy, where you don’t even out in a good word for the Aces Theater for the talent recruits, your very boxed out with the Chairmen.

While the other families are more curious and intrigued by the NCR and Legion tensions rising, House being killed and other things, the Chairmen are always paranoid, concerned and negative. They mention wanting to leave like in the old days but can’t drop the act. They don’t mention anything that isn’t in a way that relates back to them and it tells how little they wish to or do interact with those outside the family. Swank mentions how he doesn’t trust the other families and the sentiments are shared with Tommy who discourages you from seeing the other sights. They are probably not purposely isolating themselves but they keep to their own. I only think this is extrapolated by House favoring Benny as a successor and possibly more restrictions on them. They were the first family and likely the prototype of whatever is detailed in their contracts. House was not as lenient as he is now, taking Swank referring to House’s rules into account.

Specifically about Tommy and Swank is interesting. Tommy feels like he’s older to me, not like more mature but he’s been around to see how far the Boot-Riders changed into the Chairmen. He’s not like an old guy either but older than Swank and Benny. I like to think he’s a middle ground to Swank and Benny, where Benny is the idealist, Swank is the nihilist and he’s there realist. You gotta real with people when you work in entertainment. He has a keen eye and can tell when things aren’t right but doesn’t jump out of his lane, not without provocation that is. In relation to Benny, I think Tommy’s like a snide older brother type guy. He rips on Benny cause the guy is so obsessed with not being seen as a tribal anymore but Tommy of all people can see when someone is playing too much into a bit. Benny keeps him close cause he keeps him real.

Swank is described in universe by House as being dependable but unimaginative. I don’t think that’s fully the case but he isn’t the person to push things in my eyes either. He has complaints but he does what he’s asked of and is loyal. More of a “Are you sure” Man than a “Yes” Man. I don’t think he sees the best in the people around him but prefers to see them as static. I take this with how hard it is to convince him that Benny is a traitor and how he seems shocked you are so ready to kill him. Things run a certain why and it’s why he likes that. It’s why he’s so good a managing The Tops. He wants things to run smooth and easy and everyone to be having a time. He’s the type to struggle with a shift in change at first but then forget why when the new song and dance start to come naturally. He plays the part just like Benny but also reminds him of what they came from. He’s his most trusted advisor and friend keeps him in focus.

This is all personal opinion and just a quick run down of it. But I hope I answered at least some of what you asked:p

[alackofghosts]

got tagged by tumblr user @fourteenthz (loved reading about thesa, by the way <3)! thank you very much!

— B A S I C S

name: lil guy i'm very shy, don't worry about it

nicknames: none based on his name, as it's quite short already, but will also respond to a fond and/or slightly exasperated "hero"

age: 33 as of 6.55

nameday: 27th sun of the 4th umbral moon

race: rava viera

gender: cis man

orientation: gay

profession: adventurer

— P H Y S I C A L     A S P E C T

hair: black, naturally wavy, very thick and soft

eyes: dark brown

skin: warm brown, freckles easily, especially his face

tattoos: none

scars: burn scar on his left shoulder from his fight with ifrit, another burn on his right thigh from nidhogg. a few other scrapes here and there. notable lack of any significant scarring from shb and beyond, because that's how i see astrologian healing working - he feels particularly strange about not having a scar from his fight with zenos in endwalker

— F A M I L Y

parents: he has not been back to his home village, for obvious reasons, so doesn't know - but assumes - his mother is still alive and well; never met his biological dad. but because he showed signs of. however the viera would call/conceptualise the inner beast, one of the women called in a favour with a wood warder who was also a warrior, to take him under his wing to train. said wood warder, however, was wholly at a loss what to do with a child, having never taken in a ward before and decided to seek out an old friend, who had since left the forest. ...long story short, he ends up being raised by an all-viera dalmascan resistance cell, who end up packing up and leaving with him in tow after almost being rooted out by garlean forces. he views most of them as Parental Figures and loves them dearly, even if some of them have scattered into the winds after he left to become an adventurer

siblings: he isn't aware of any biological siblings, but the village took a very communal approach to raising kids, so at the time he definitely felt like the other kids were his siblings, regardless of any blood relations. one of the men in the resistance cell was a 'mere' 30 or so years older than him, so he also counts more as a sibling than anything else in his eyes

grandparents: he has definitely met his maternal grandmother, but as with his mother, he's not been back home and doesn't know if she is still alive (but in all likelihood: yes)

in laws and other: THE TWINS. putting an exact name to what alisaie and alphinaud mean to him would honestly not be Good or Close Enough, but they are absolutely like family to him and a reason to keep on going. he also has a very sibling-like relationship with lyse, who is always ready and willing to match his energy, tag along for workouts and tease the hell out of him

pets: he befriends an amaro hatchling at the crystarium during shadowbringers and during a later visit, her handler notes that she's been looking glum without him around. he loves animals, but his living situation has been far too chaotic after becoming an adventurer to accommodate an animal (that isn't his chocobo, who, at least, is much easier to house) and hasn't felt particularly inclined to change that. but after endwalker, he finds himself actually wanting to change that and has the time to do it... so, with a little bit of help from feo ul, he has a little amaro friend with him now

— S K I L L S

abilities: war + drk + pld and all that that entails. skilled and formidable fighter, good at navigating/strategising through a fight on the fly, quick study (as far as fighting is concerned, anyway)

hobbies: working out (especially running and swimming), hiking, he's been learning to enjoy fishing after endwalker

— T R A I T S

most positive traits: protective, caring, insatiable lust for life

most negative traits: too willing to let other people do the talking for him, impulsive, stubborn

— L I K E S

colours: warm red, gold, the bright green of sunlight filtering through leaves

smells: fresh earth, cinnamon, a meadow in early summer, the savoury smell of the stew one of his dads used to make

textures: soft grass under bare feet, tree bark, skin on skin, the scratch of ardbert's beard

drinks: water, pineapple juice, lemonade

— O T H E R    D E T A I L S

smokes: no

drinks: only socially, and even then it's fairly rare. he did drink a little more often as a baby adventurer, mostly because he simply had more opportunities to do so: mingling was useful and it wasn't uncommon to have a rowdy bar night to celebrate a job well done. he is a bit of a lightweight and tends to withdraw when tipsy/drunk, so he actually has more fun when sober

drugs: also no (unless we're counting medicine for this. he won't be refusing painkillers if he's in pain etc.)

mount issuance: his beloved chocobo, who he dotes on very much, especially because it was something of a dream to have when he was just a baby adventurer - he could not have afforded to buy or maintain one at the time

been arrested: he's got in trouble for those rowdy bar nights - he's not the type to start a fight, but if someone were to pick a fight with him or his friends, by gods, he will be finishing it. no serious jail time, more like being hauled off with everyone else involved to sober up until morning, though

[unusualcliches]

My season three thoughts: After numerous failed attempts of watching part two of Bridgerton yesterday, I finally finished the last episode at three in the morning so I decided to sleep on it. Now that I’ve processed it a little I feel like I must get this out of my chest. Like most fans, I have mixed feelings. Overwhelming feelings. Feelings that are like torture – Kidding!

No but really, it has been a long time since a piece of media has made me feel this much, both good and bad. Watching these last four episodes, my heart was in my throat, I was grinning like a maniac and tearing up more often than I care to admit. And isn't that the point of art? I can honestly say that overall the positives far outweigh the negatives, for me, at least. There's something to be said about the choice of releasing the season in two parts, about cramped, eight-episode-seasons and the lack of breathing room, about the ever growing number of characters, about expectations so high they might as well have been setting themselves up for failure (or rather, the fans up for disappointment) but I don't want to linger on any of that. I understand feeling let down and there are many, many reasons for it. But to me, in particular? Well, all of that is overshadowed by this huge wave of affection I feel for the people who put this show together.

Because this is Penelope Featherington's season, and I have loved this character for at least fifteen years. I've been carrying her around in my pocket, hidden from view, because I was ashamed to admit a "silly, little romance novel that teen me read in secret on my computer when my parents weren't looking" could ever have impacted me so much. (Yes, internalized misogyny, I see you, leave me alone.) But it did impact me, so much so that when I needed to, I took Penelope's name as my alias in the hope it would make me brave enough to come out of my shell on the internet, if not in real life. And no, the irony is not lost on me, there is a reason I was so drawn to her character, just as I know so many other people are. She is incredibly relatable.

This last month I've been talking and talking about all the ways this show's popularity is validating and how freeing it feels to be able to discuss this character that is so close to my heart with so many people, and to see the outpour of love she's been getting. Because she's so relatable, there are hundreds of us who see ourselves in her while at the same time admire her growth and her cleverness and wish we could be that brave, even for just one day. To see her stand up for herself the way she did was amazing and I could never resent a show for fleshing out my favorite character like this. If anyone had told teen me that one day I would get to watch Bridgerton come alive in HD, and that Penelope would be played by the most gorgeous, charismatic actress who'd wear all these beautiful costumes and dance to amazing instrumental versions of some of my favorite songs as she found her way to her happily ever after, I would have thought I was dreaming?! There is simply so much to celebrate this season, I couldn't fathom choosing to lean into the frustration or the resentment that some things haven't turned out exactly the way I wished.

That said, I will definitely be using this blog to work out the things that I felt were lacking too in the near future because I am thoroughly invested in Colin and Penelope's love story and that's not changing any time soon. What's this about this ride being over because the season ended??? Kids, please, now is the time we get to finally play with this toy we've been reaching for at the high shelf of the store!!! It's ours now to do as we please and I have ~so many ideas~. I simply crave more of them. I loved (most) of what we got this season, and I plan to roll around in all the good bits, just as I am already craving all the fix-it fics that I know are coming. You know, one of the things about part one was that the show was so good about giving me everything I ever wanted, there was hardly anything I wanted to read/write about. Well, I will say that that's certainly changed! I'm gonna save my detailed feelings about Polin for another post because this is already completely out of hand but I will say this: I am tired of seeing strong female characters having to sacrifice their romantic relationships as they crawl their way to self-acceptance and empowerment. That is realistic, to be sure, but Bridgerton is supposed to be for the dreamers, isn't it? So why not give Penelope her cake and let her eat it too? All in all, though, I feel like I had a delicious piece of cake but I’m left still yearning for the cherry on top. Perhaps in season 4?

[sloanesallow]

thoughts and feelings ⬇️

I've had a tumblr since 2008 (under different usernames), and have been a part of fandom spaces since I had access to the internet at probably a too-young age.

What I'm getting at is that while the Hogwarts Legacy fandom has brought me some of my closest friends and renewed my creative writing, it has also been some of the most challenging when it comes to negativity, drama and overall stress on my mental health.

Let's start from the beginning when the game came out. I started writing again, joined a discord server and found my footing with a few close friends but still felt very much on the outside of fandom circles.

and then

Remember that "witch hunt" that went around shaming people for writing stories or creating AI voice videos of fanfic? That's why I don't post on TikTok anymore. The negativity was just way too much for me to find joy in sharing content after that.

I came back to tumblr to try and integrate myself more in the fandom, but all I would see was discourse and negativity being spread about characters, about MCs, about art and about fanfic. I even received a few negative anon messages (which I'm not new to), but it was incredibly discouraging. The positivity I did see was few and far between. I know I am not the first to say so, but that one blog that was created recently did not help with how I felt. So many of the posts about writing tropes or characterizations and writing styles got under my skin and seeing comments from people I know or admire in the fandom agreeing with the posts made me sick. For a while, I contemplated deleting my blog and all my HogLog stories from Ao3/Wattpad. There are some days when I still feel like doing this.

There have been some other things related to fandom going on I'd rather not get into, but basically, my confidence hasn't quite been the same in the last few months. I find myself questioning every little thing I do, hesitating to interact with people, and believing I'm better off in isolation. Which sucks, because in May I spent so much time and energy fully outlining Sloane's story, and I was so excited to share and be involved but all of that has been sucked out of me. I don't feel welcome, even in the spaces I thought were safe.

I haven't even been able to properly devote energy to reading or hyping others because I just feel so drained. I have no motivation, I don't feel excited, and worst yet, I feel like it doesn't even matter. I've posted a few things here and there but other than a few close friends, (whom I love dearly) there isn't much feedback. More and more, I feel like I'm on the outside looking in and just pretending to belong when I probably don't.

I don't want to be another member of the fandom who just walks away, but at the same time, I sometimes wonder if I'd be missed. (I am aware this is my brain being mean to me).

I'm not looking for comfort or anything, I just needed to get this out as it's been festering inside my head.

I'm trying, and hoping, to be better soon.

[mewtwoandme]

You know. It's incredibly pretentious to make your self insert OC the one who has the biggest positive impact on Mewtwo, not even Ash comes close to it despite turning his world upside down. Especially that your self insert hasn't really shown any single negative trait so far and that you added a tons of emotional problems to Mewtwo that weren't present in the anime or the movies (like his fear of partnership, suicidal thoughts etc...) turning him into an entirely different character so that your self insert will be the one who helps Mewtwo to overcome them. So yes, Lakota is the very definition of a Mary Sue.

I LOVE how some people still think Lakota is a self insert, I laugh my good sir or ma'am, I laugh XD Think what ya want, I guess. If anything, she is the type of person I WISH I was lol. She is entirely her own character. Believe me, if she was truly a self insert of me and what I'm really like, she wouldn't be very likable.

Also, the definition of a Mary Sue, and I quote is "a type of female character who is depicted as unrealistically lacking in flaws or weaknesses." Which for Lakota is false. She has her flaws and weaknesses. One of her major flaws we continue to see is that she tries to be everyone's rock and anchor, and hardly focuses on her own feelings, which may come back and bite her eventually. Just because I don't visually draw out a scenario for every problem she has for you all to see, doesn't mean she doesn't have her own issues :V

Also there's nothing wrong with a character who has a lot of empathy and cares about her family, and is willing to help them if they need it. I guess some people such as yourself have never received such kindness before though.

And as far as Mewtwo's emotional issues, that's just a little thing called 🌈character development/building🌈 sweetie. I touch on topics that most cartoons are hesitant to. And of course he's not gonna have the same personality as he did in the films, do you know how boring that would be? Like yeah, we get it, a cold and emotionally constipated psychic cat who broods and contemplates his purpose and existence all the time....There's only so much you can do with that, I chose to extend his character a little. I try to make Mewtwo feel a little more relatable and real with the emotions I make him experience, realistically based on everything he went through both in the first movie and in Detective Pikachu, trust issues and ptsd/trauma are very understandable and real emotions I think people would experience if they endured what Mewtwo had to go through. But I guess according to you, that's a big no no, well uhhh...ya know? Too bad. :V

I write my story and characters how I want to. I don't need your or anyone's validation or approval. How about YOU make your own version of Mewtwo and YOU come up with a personality that suits him to YOUR liking, rather than wasting your and my time, sending a paragraph long ask, bitching about mine, kay? 😘

[archivalofsins]

Can't wait for people to start acting like they're experts on a very personal and subjective disorder by telling people they know nothing about personally how it should be discussed in their opinion. That's sarcasm, by the way.

I sincerely hope people can be more respectful when discussing Mikoto, but my hopes aren't high in that regard given the behavior I've seen so far.

Whether they be a singlet or a system is of little importance, in my opinion. Presenting oneself as being intimately aware of how any disorder is based solely on one's personal experience with said disorder or knowing others that have it is how stereotypes form.

Doing this is incredibly harmful regardless if one is speaking from a place of good intent. Dissociative Identity Disorder isn't a fucking monolith and creating an evironment in which it can be viewed as one causes harm to those who don't fit into that monolith. Regardless of if a stereotype is positive or negative, it's still a stereotype that is capable of damaging one person as much as it is of helping another.

So, hopefully, people can move more respectfully and recognize that they do not know what others are going through or how any disorder specifically impacts an individual outside of themselves. Basically, it'd be great if people got more comfortable with saying in my opinion instead of presenting subjectivity as fact.

People are varied and shaped by so many incredibly mundane and large things. It is actually impossible for anyone on this planet to be exactly the same as anyone else. Regardless of if they have certain diagnosis in common or not. This is coming from me the most high-strung and possibly viewed as heavily opinionated person, but at this point, even we're just like chill a little.

If people could recognize that the topics in Amane's trial could be triggering to some I believe the fandom is more than capable of recognizing that how dissociative identity disorder is discussed can be triggering to those suffering from it. Especially considering how it is formed and the very immense amount of thirst and sexualization of Mikoto that is shortly on the horizon. Ya know the guy with the disorder that is intrinsically tied to childhood abuse and sexual trauma. That thing.

It's not even out yet, and he's already being heavily sexualized. He always has been, but this sexualization can impact others a lot differently based on their struggles with the disorder and how far into their personal journey with it they are. Hence why I haven't made any blatant statements on those more heavy aspects of the situation.

Because it is discomforting for me personally due to my experiences. So, it's best to tread with respect and consideration or for those who would have a problem with this behavior like me blacklist the tags and just enjoy it personally on your own at your own pace if it becomes too much.

Milgram is not worth causing further emotional harm to oneself. Especially when it has to do with a disorder as related to trauma as this one. So, please make sure to take care of yourselves and take a step back if it's getting to an unbearable point.

[dorianbrightmusic]

New Antipsychotic FDA Approval – Cobenfy

Cobenfy (xanomeline/trospium chloride) has just been approved for schizophrenia treatment in the US. This is huge. It's the first antipsychotic in decades to not target dopamine directly. It's got a much, much better side-effect profile, and it might work for negative and cognitive symptoms.

FOR MORE READING – news report/patient-centred plain language overview: See here.

FOR MORE READING – scientific evidence report: See here (note: the drug is referred to as 'KarXT' in this report).

I couldn't be happier right now. People with psychosis go through so, so much trying to find medications that are both useful and tolerable, and psychiatry has historically neglected psychotic people's needs so, so awfully. (Not to mention how little there is that actually helps with anything other than positive symptoms.) So I'm really, really hoping that with the proof that we can, in fact, make antipsychotics that aren't based on the same old pharmacological things we've tried before. Cobenfy is a muscarinic agonist/antagonist in fixed combination – and it also indirectly regulates dopamine and glutamate. And given that we know both dopamine and NMDA are probably involved in schizophrenia somehow – AND that treating things to do with either is hard – this is so, so, so exciting.

This isn't to say Cobenfy doesn't have side-effects (the most common ones being nausea, constipation, dyspepsia, vomiting, hypertension, dry mouth, and tachycardia. We also know that there is a small risk of extrapyramidal symptoms, and that prolactin-related side-effects do happen, unfortunately). We don't know much about how it affects folks in the long-term, or much about the long-term tardive dyskinesia risk. But even so, it's progress compared to some of the worse antipsychotic side-effects.

Moreover, there is a possibility it might be useful for negative and cognitive symptoms. Holy crap.

I'm really really really excited. I hope this is the start of a shift in psychiatry towards better standards of patient-centred care for psychosis. Y'all have deserved better for far too long – here's hoping this is the start of more ethical, effective treatment.

[death-himself]

ok episode 6 thoughts

decent episode, doesn't top episodes 4 or 5 for me but it was good

kronos being portrayed by his headmaster is an interesting choice

the iris message is so much blurrier than I always imagined i'm crying

144p iris message you would think it would be clearer but nope that's so funny to me

with how involved rick is with the show that means that's always what he imagined iris messaging looking like I can't iris messaging is ruined for me

we didn’t get percy talking to the zebra T-T it’s fine tho i forgot that even happened in the book until i checked after watching

their whole conversation while watching the animals escape i love them

their chemistry is perfect in this episode

THE LOTUS CASINO HAS A ROLLER COASTER WHAT

i get people wanted poker face, but the dua lipa song is perfect, it’s like a slightly more modern version

i don’t know fashion throughout the centuries so i can’t really say anything about the costume designs, but i kinda wish there were more obviously out of place outfits in the lotus

is augustus mentioned at all in the books? i don’t remember a satyr named augustus so i guess he was made just for the tv series?

luring grover in with pan is a cool change

grover slowly losing his memory was played pretty well

i keep getting impressed by how good these kids are as actors

i honestly don’t know why people hate on lin manuel miranda so much, i think he made for a pretty good hermes this episode

but also the way they’re portraying hermes feels a little bit off?? i don’t really know how but something didn’t feel right about his character

i do feel like he’s the most “human” out of the gods introduced so far, and i think that came through pretty well

“to be so close to someone you love, knowing neither of you has any choice but to keep hurting each other?” that line is just-

as someone with a really complicated relationship with my dad that line just hurt goddamn

the flashback percy had??? i feel like that line doesn’t 100% relate to percy and sally’s relationship, but i see how that’d be how percy would feel

unless i’m dumb and that was referencing his relationship with poseidon lol

ok the end of their talk with hermes i wanna talk about that a bit

parenting sometimes being watching your kid struggle and being powerless to stop it: completely true

“we’re all just doing the best we can” now that’s some godly bullshit

the difference between that first quote and gods being parents is that they’re literally capable of doing anything

they could be more present in their kids lives, they just CHOOSE not to, that’s how it works in the books

sure it’s coming from a place where he thinks interacting will only make things worse but???

i can’t articulate my thoughts, i liked this scene tho, my thoughts on hermes are mixed as they should be

ANNABETH STEALING HERMES’S KEYS

“i’m multi-talented” I LOVE HER

percy forgetting grover felt so unsettling to me

hermes driving a taxi so real

percy trying to drive, i’m not gonna lie, that scene went on a little too long for me, but i was laughing the whole time so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ok percy getting 4 pearls instead of 3??? idk why but that change pissed me off

i paused to get out the book, and i guess it makes more sense then hades just deciding to return her

but at the same time there’s the line in the prophecy, he’s supposed to leave her in the underworld for that part of the prophecy

are they just going to end up accidentally breaking one of the pearls or trading it or something? that’s the only way i can see that still working out

i feel like these episode reviews always turn out sounding more negative than positive, but i swear i’m enjoying the hell out of this series, i just have trouble articulating joy lol

[error-pleaseleaveamessage-error]

A request for @trans-breadbelike for Ninjago Movie Lloyd tickle headcanons! I really enjoyed writing these, Lloyd in the movie was so precious!

To begin, Lloyd has only had affection from his mom. Once The Secret Ninja Force started, he realized how much he missed out.

It took him a while to be completely comfortable with touch, even if it was positive and if he was touch-starved. It was all overwhelming. Kai had to restrain himself so much because he wanted to swarm Lloyd with many hugs.

When he adjusted, the invisible wall collapsed. Lloyd has never experienced so much care like this, he still gets teary-eyed. 

A part of that affection was tickling.

Usually, when Lloyd gets poked it’s not a good thing. (Heavily considering how much negative attention Lloyd receives, specifically thinking about Chen the Cheerleader in this case.) So the first few times he was very on-guard and gave no reaction, much to the squad's disappointment.

That changed one day when Kai and Nya started rage quitting over a board game, and Zane followed after them like the agent of chaos he is. This left Jay to run around helplessly, while Lloyd and Cole watched from the sidelines in amusement. Cole had leaned over to whisper commentary in Lloyd's ear, his breath so soft and talking so lightly it tickled Lloyd’s ear. Poor guy was so startled he squeaked and yanked himself away, covering the targeted ear. Lloyd has never seen Cole’s face make such a curiously mischievous expression before.

He has no experience in a tickle fight. He can battle shark mechs and fist-fight generals but can't hold his own in a tickle fight. He doesn’t know what to do!

I headcanon Luh-Loyd as the second most sensitive ninja, but he had no idea he was so ticklish.

So many squeaks. One of the squeakiest laughs to ever exist, and has lots of hiccups between giggles.

Lloyd's laugh begins as a loud scream and then dissolves into bubbly happy laughter.

But if he's tickled on a few specific spots, then he starts cackling very similarly to Lord Garmadon. (This is a reference to when Lloyd was a baby and copied Garmadon's laugh. The scene in the movie where Garmadon monologues a dramatic flashback of Lady Iron Dragon taking away tiny Lloyd.) Even after when he makes up with his dad, he hates it when he starts cackling like a supervillain.

At first, the team were surprised but reassured him that just because he cackles doesn't mean he's going to grow another set of arms or something.

(Ironic, as I headcanon Lloyd to have tiny horns and sharp teeth.)

Garmadon was elated to find out his son laughs like him! It became the main reason why he starts tickling Lloyd, the passive way (The only way, for that matter.) to win a fight against the green ninja.

He gets teary-eyed so quickly with tickles too, but happy tears of course!

He blushes really quickly, and can't do anything to stop himself from doing so.

The Ninja are, of course, aware that Lloyd has gotten little to no experience in the friendship department. They're nice enough to him whilst also being gremlins.

Well, sometimes Nya doesn't play nice. Nya really loves to see Lloyd smile, as he beats himself up far too much. She gets brutal with her teasing. Even if Lloyd wasn't acting out, she'd see him frown and squeeze his sides without stop.

Speaking of, anytime Lloyd starts berating himself - and the reassurance doesn't work - they resort to poking him until he either takes it back or says something nice about himself. Lloyd would rather be fired out of a volcano then do either of those things, it's THAT flustering.

He's not the best at tickle related games, but if he gets competitive then he'll risk it for the biscuit.

The tickle spots go from underarms to ears to tummy to feet to thighs. Those are all gold mines.

He melts when someone tickles his back. Even if it's a little embarrassing, he's totally content to become a puddle of soft giggles.

That's him on the receiving end, but when he's giving it? Oh, he's still precious.

He dishes out the compliments, always being sweet and making sure they're still having fun. Afterwards he gets water and asks if they need anything else to relax.

If someone starts to run away, he will chase after them but slow down to keep an even pace.

"Hey! Get back here!!"

The type to laugh along with someone's giggles.

He can and will get devious. (He is the son of Garmadon, after all.)

"I won't let you go until you promise to sit on the couch instead of the floor!"

"This spot tickles? Huh. Then I guess you better apologize quickly!"

Oh, right, he can usually say tickle. When he gets nervous and shy, he cannot.

He enjoys giving people massages. (It originates from him being protective over his team, his friends, because he refuses to loose him.) This happens when everyone gets sleepy, and with a second thought, he starts to trace people's hands and arms. He loves hearing people's sleepy hums and titters, it's adorable.

Lloyd definitely tickles people awake. He'd let them sleep in, but they'll miss out on school. (And, being around chaos has influenced him to be more silly.) This ends up being Cole, Kai, and few times Jay. Even fewer times has he gotten Nya, but he knows the ticklish consequences far too well.

He gets worried about tag-teaming people, as he doesn't like to fight his team, but he really does enjoy the banter and the bonding.

Besides, two birds with one stone! He figures he shouldn't let the opportunity go to waste.

If he's being accidentally tickled, it's extra flustering for him, because he doesn't want to draw attention to himself but goodness gracious he may just about burst.

He tries to be serious, and succeeded most of the time. He makes awkward jokes, but his smiles seem more like grimaces - like he's cringing. He can't ever seem to smile genuinely for pictures either. A few scribbles help him out no problem!

He can't hold in his laugh, not at all.

Cuddle piles are some of his favorite things, and he really likes tickle hugs too. He giggles so hard when he gets trapped in a hug, because he knows what's going to happen next.

His favorite tease to receive has to be, "Uh oh. I think I see a smile! Are you giggling, Lloyd?"

Lloyd has walked in on so many tickle fights, and he's quick to make an escape before he's dragged into it. But one time he see's Nya pinning Kai down, and she asks for help in order to destroy her annoying brother, and he decides... he may as well join if he's going to be dragged in anyways.

He has never heard of the tickle monster bit before, and thinks it's so stupid it's funny. He attaches onto it, and instead animates life into inanimate objects. Like feathers! He gives them silly names.

"Uh oh! You better tell Mrs. Fluffy to get away, she's getting really close to your stomach..."

Hypocritically, he can't handle when people pretend to turn into a tickle monster. Koko does that a lot believe or not.

Master Wu has poked him before when correcting his fighting stance, and pretends to be none the wiser.

He's a dork, I love him so much.

[ggulmul]

Jikook and Coming Out

This is a tiny think-piece about Jikook and the hypothetical event of them publicly disclosing their relationship.

This post is comprised primarily of my own thoughts and opinions, and might be too speculative for some, which I respect completely. Other perspectives are very welcome, so feel free to share your thoughts.

Starting off with my current impression of JK. To me, he’s the type of person that wears their heart on their sleeve, and proudly so. In his Vlives he’s candid and open, and occasionally vulnerable to an admirable degree. Especially recently he seems to want to show himself, his full authentic self, with very little room left for pretence.

(Not to sound cheesy but all those times JK has sat there not speaking, just looking into the camera or seemingly lost deep in thought (first observed in his birthday greeting to Jimin, and several times since in his Vlives), I always had the feeling that those silences were filled with things he wants to say but can’t, at least not for now).

Then there’s Jimin. To me, Jimin is much harder to read, as far as his true emotions and intentions go. I believe he’s as kind and lovely and loving and lovable as he appears. I simply think he keeps a lot hidden. We know he’s a private person, very guarded and in control of how he presents himself —I believe there’s a distance between Jimin the individual and Jimin the idol; maybe a protective distance necessitated by the constant vitriol that he’s had to endure for so long and is unfortunately still subjected to.

And with the type of conscientious, dutiful person Jimin is, paired with him living in a collectivistic society, he might struggle with the notion of disappointing anyone, whether it be his fans or his nation. I hope this isn’t a great concern of his, but I think it could play a role.

With their different personalities, different experiences, and perhaps different expectations they have for themselves (whether internally or externally motivated) I think that Jimin and JK relate to the topic of coming out differently, and of the two I think JK is far less apprehensive. Were he to come out, I’d actually expect him to have almost a devil-may-care attitude, like, utterly unapologetic.

Again, this is just my opinion, but I don’t think JK is too concerned with the consequences revealing their relationship would have for himself personally, if he holds any concerns they would be for Jimin.

In the event of a public ‘coming out’ I have the feeling that the backlash would be bigger for Jimin than for JK, whether it’s done individually or as a couple. This despite Jimin being the one who most of the general public would probably assume to not be straight, just based on stereotypes (alternatively, it could be precisely due to stereotypes and prejudices regarding gender and sexuality that he is generally judged more harshly by some —but that’s a topic for another day).

Regardless, Jimin is pretty much always unfairly criticised no matter what he does and seems to be held to a higher standard, people expecting perfection from him at all times; and unfortunately, in some misguided people’s eyes, homosexuality is a flaw in itself.

And coming out would be difficult, of course it would. That being said, I think we sometimes put too much weight on the negatives —the inevitable hate, the possible social ostracisation— leading many to conclude that Jikook will probably never publicly reveal their sexualities and/or their relationship.

But IMO one must also take into consideration the value of being able to be yourself, fully and openly. To not be constantly, ignorantly or purposefully misunderstood.

So yes, them being public figures complicates things. And yes, there is a lot at stake. But Jikook —being extremely wealthy and famous with a dedicated fanbase— are in a very privileged position, and they hold a lot of power.

Furthermore, the LGBT+ climate in South Korea does seem to be changing slowly but surely, especially for the younger generations. Should they want to, Jikook could not only be a part of this change but a significant driving force. Whether or not that’s something they would want is a different question though, one only they can answer. And if they wish to never publically come out, indidually or together, then that is not better or worse than the alternative. Only they have the right to decide what is best for them and their future.

In any case, these musings don’t really become relevant until after the completion of BTS’ military service. At which point, as far as Jikook are concerned, I have a feeling things will be very, very ‘loud.’

[aroace-poly-show]

also a thing for you if you ever want to ramble about hw- what's emu's story for this? how did she get into illustration, and how did she meet the troupe?

RAUGH I ALWAYS WANT TO RAMBLE AND IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS TY FOR ASKING!!!! also took a while this time my bad man. the route my bus takes has very very shit internet so i couldn’t continue my draft during my ride 💔

anywayyy. good lord this is fucking long. im sorry.

for emu, i’m still figuring stuff out with her, but i’ve been thinking about her a lot more recently, and so far what i’ve got is that she has a little bundle of issues including grief over her grandpa, toxic positivity and not letting herself feel negative emotions properly, some internalized hatred of herself and how childish she is following an argument w shosuke, and generally feeling kinda lost, like the rest of hw, after wonder stage closed bc she doesn’t know what to do w/o shows. yknow.

so like. she still has her whole thing w/ her grandpa. and she while she wasn’t doing the *best* she wasn’t doing that bad in the mental health department. still wasn’t letting herself like. grieve properly. but she wasn’t the worst. she performed a lot on wonder stage and knew that the stage was in danger of being closed down, so she tried really hard to keep it from happening. but the actors for wonder stage began to leave as time went on and the ones who stayed didn’t really get why she was so persistent in keeping this stage open when the others in the park were better and shit. and she didn’t have much help. so unfortunately despite her best efforts wonder stage was kinda doomed for closure. butttt she’s not giving up yet. so she tries to convince her brothers to not close it, or at least to just give her some more time. which Does Not Go Well. shosuke gets real frustrated with her and starts yelling and shit. and while keisuke shuts him down once he gets too heated. well. it’s kinda too late. with what he said about her being childish and demanding that she just grow up already and stuff like that, my girl takes that to heart. and then with the official closure of wonder stage…yeah…she’s not doing the best…

emu’s grief here is made worse w/ the wonder stage closure. cause like. that was her and her grandpa’s favorite stage. girl feels like she failed him. she loved that stage. she loved doing shows there. it was something she had to remind her of her grandpa. and now it’s closed. :(

since then she’s been. different. like it’s just barely noticeable to a lot of people but she’s definitely changed. she smiles and acts cheery and seems like her usual self but like. her smile isn’t quite the same. she’s not quite as talkative. she avoids her brothers a lot more. and her brothers have noticed btw and they both feel AWFUL. especially shosuke. they done fucked up and they know it.

also like technically she could keep doing shows, after all theres the other stages in pheonix wonderland, and she has experience in doing shows + is related to the people who literally own the place so it wouldn’t be hard for her to join one of those stages. but she doesn’t bc after all that, she thinks her goal of just wanting to bring smiles to people is childish. shows make her so so happy but she thinks it’s immature and naive of her to still want to pursue that, especially considering she failed last time. it’s a silly and childish path to pursue, and she needs to pull her head out of the clouds and grow up already, like her brother says. so despite loving shows with all her heart, she gives up on doing them. but since shows are so important to her, she doesn’t rlly know what to do without them, so that’s where that feeling lost stuff comes in. yknow.

for her art, i just think she enjoyed art in general, and with her grief and the wonder stage closure it helped her cope. i have a very specific idea in my head of her style. but i cant remember the artist here on tumblr that i think she does art like. if i can remember their name i will though. i might actually do a post dedicated to what i think her art style is like….

not set in stone just yet, but what i’m thinking for the original meet up is that she meets nene first. nene does music and emu finds it, and it gives her some inspiration for some art. she posts it and credits nene’s music as what inspired her, and nene is so fucking honored. through some light encouragement from rui nene gets the courage to dm emu to tell her thank you, and they start chatting!! they get along pretty well and emu starts making art for nene’s music. eventually rui has the idea to start animating them, so they can make music videos for the songs, and boom hw gets its beginnings online.

this happens before wonder stage closure btw. when it does close, emu disappears from their group chat for a bit. she comes back like nothing happens and while she doesn’t tell them what happened, they both notice she doesn’t talk about what shows shes doing anymore, or shows in general. nene and rui are both very sad at this btw. seeing emu have so much love for shows and be able to talk about them like she did was really nice, so to see her stop with that and seemingly not enjoying shows anymore after something happened, just like they did, it sucks. :(

anyway i think my timeline is like. during nene’s last year of middle school when she transfers to home schooling, she starts doing music -> everything i just mentioned here happens -> eventually they meet tsukasa, and he joins the group -> hollow ☆ wonderland does its thing as a group for a while -> main story shit happens. yeah. 👍

uhhhh. dear god i’m so bad at explaining my thoughst. augh. i hope this made some amount of sense. and that i wasn’t too repetitive lsajdkhfgyfdhsj. anyway miscellaneous emu thingies now.

like i mentioned, wonder stage hasn’t been replaced yet, it’s just closed down and sectioned off. so emu still visits it all the time. there is nothing being done to maintain it. so it is absolutely unsafe. but does emu care. no. girlie wants to disappear and while she’s not *planning* on dying, if she had to die anywhere she wouldn’t mind if it was at wonder stage. she draws there a lot.

a lot of her drawings are traditional!! with lots of bright colors and crayons and colored pencils. she has lots of fun drawing.

this applies to non-au emu as well but she has gifted stickers to all her friends. nene’s synthesizer is covered in them.

wonder stage was closed off at sunset. btw. just to give her another reason to hate sunsets.