#there is a story that goes fully in depth into the bg of this character that’s been written since 2021

[cyncerity]

GUYS ITS TIME

this is a big day for the Store Shifter AU

i have had this story in the works since 2021. 2021. THIS HAS HAUNTED ME FOR 4 YEARS, i just didn’t know how to tell it, but i finally, finally finished it. those of you who have been around for a while will know I’ve been teasing the inclusion of someone in this au for years, and i’m really excited to add them.

buckle up, this is the longest thing i’ve written in a while. it’s over 5k words long and has some hidden lore stuff that i am so glad im finally able to get into. hope you enjoy and please send asks if you wanna know where this goes next, cause i have so much to talk about >:)

tw: soft, safe vore. don’t like it, don’t read it

Sapnap was at work today, as he was most days of the week. Karl and Q were borrowing, which also wasn’t unheard of, though they tended to prefer going out at night. However, since Sapnap had started working during the day and sleeping through the night, Karl and Quackity had been trying to align their sleep patterns to his. Hence, borrowing during the day.

Karl and Quackity had split up. This was also not unheard of; on days when the store wasn’t as busy, it was less of a danger to go alone, and going alone garnered more supplies in a shorter time. It also put them in different parts of the store in case Sapnap needed them. And today, it sounded like he did. He was putting small handmade containers he’d just filled with disinfectant into the bag slung around his shoulder when he heard a girl (Hannah, he thinks Sapnap called her once), call someone about “him” being on the floor in an aisle a little farther from where Quackity is. Apparently “he” was pale, shaking, and very out of it in general.

Q was used to hearing these sorts of things from Sapnap’s concerned employers. Sometimes Sapnap would manage to drag himself to the break room and Dream would shoot a text to their home phone that their third needed help, or find them in the store and take them to Sapnap if he could. If Karl was nearby, he’d help Sapnap out and spend the rest of his day in the shifter’s storage. On days when Quackity was out borrowing, he’d help Sapnap. Today was one of those days.

He found Sapnap keeled over in the aisle, arms clutching his stomach and long dark hair in front of his eyes. He…he wasn’t wearing the store uniform. Quackity swore he saw him put it on that morning. “Sapnap…?” he called quietly from his place on a shelf, readjusting the face mask he wore to hide his scar. No answer. He moved closer. He hadnt noticed the lack of chesnut brown roots in his hair, the fact that he knew Sapnap never went out without his beanie but this man wasn’t wearing one, the fact that this stranger was too lean and tall to be his fiancé. No, none of these things clicked until the giant made eye contact with him.

That wasn’t Sapnap.

Quackity had seen that expression on Sapnap’s face before. The dilated pupils, the pale, empty look of hunger. Even if he only saw the man’s face for a split second before trying to hide, he knew that look. There was no doubt in Q’s mind that this man was a shifter, but he wasn’t his shifter. No matter, he had caught the strangers attention, and even if he was fast for a borrower, he wasn’t faster than a human.

He was grabbed and quickly shoved into the stranger’s mouth, kicking and clawing as much as he could, but it didn’t seem to work. He screamed, begging that Dream or Sapnap, hell, even Foolish, someone, anyone would come help him. But no help came. Quackity felt the throat ensnare his leg, dragging him deeper into this giant and further trapping him. His screams increased tenfold, but the purring he felt from the throat only got louder. His screams were cut off as he was dragged fully into the throat with another swallow. In some fucked up way, Quackity felt…comforted. It reminded him so much of Sapnap, he could almost pretend like it actually had been his lover who he’d gone to help. But it wasn’t, and he needed to convince his mind that the purrs around him only spelled danger, that this wasn’t just another night with his fiancé in the comfort of the break room. He’d been eaten by a stranger, and if he was gonna get out of this he needed to make an escape plan.

He got to the stomach and realized it was not just smaller, but colder than Sapnap’s, though just by a bit. If he hadn’t been in his partner’s stomach merely the day before, he probably wouldn’t have noticed. But he knew how long it took for a shifter to shake off the predatory instincts and regain themselves, and sure enough he soon heard the giant around him groan and felt the wall in front of him push in. He kicked it but stayed silent otherwise as the stranger flinched at the contact. “Fuck…shit, did I eat a rat or something??” he finally heard the giant speak, though he wasn’t expecting the strange foreign accent that he’d only heard from Tommy and Tubbo. Quackity almost scoffed at the comment but held it back. Rat, he could work with rat. The shifter had to know he couldn’t digest living things, Quackity would just be kept there until the stranger’s instincts were satisfied and they spat him out, then he’d make a run for it! Perfect, foolproof!

Or it would have been.

“Siri, can swallowing a rat give you rabies- what the fuck is that…?” Quackity froze as heard the giant whisper. Shit, what was he looking at? Was Karl out there? Or did he- oh no. Quackity had a bag with him. One that he was not currently wearing; he’d dropped it so it didn’t weigh down his escape. Which means it’s still on the shelf of the aisle where the giant is standing. But maybe that’s not what the giant found! Maybe there was something else weird in the aisle? Before he could even think of what else would cause the shifter to react like that, the muscles in the stomach tensed and Quackity could hear the breathing sounds above him get faster and harder. He felt the organ shake as the giant presumably ran, before hearing a door slam. The giant continued to hyperventilate as the stomach was squeezed tighter, pressing against Quackity from all angles. Great, he knew what this was, Sapnap did it to piss him off sometimes. The giant was sitting with his knees pulled fully to his chest, except unlike when Sapnap did it, this giant was hyperventilating, and from the sounds of it, now crying. Awesome, full on breakdown position. Quackity was so, so fucking done with this giant. The sooner he got out of here, the better.

One of the already tight walls pressed in on him, like the giant was poking him from the outside. Again. And again. And again. Quackity paid it no mind. So the poking stopped and something different took over. Clicking. A strangely echoey noise that sounded like a knock against wood, clicked at different frequencies and patterns. It took Quackity a while to realize what it was through his annoyance. It was a signal. A signal he knew in his core from his raising as an outside borrower. In situations where verbal communication was unsafe or slow, borrowers had a system of noises that could save time and reduce noise to communicate. Dream had explained that humans had something similar called morse code, but that it was an alphabet without any form of punctuation or tone indication, while borrowers had a whole language that could be tapped or clicked with their tongues.

This…this giant was a borrower.

Quackity had almost forgotten that borrowers could be shifters. And he was literally marrying one. Wow, he felt dumb.

‘So sorry. You’re safe. Accident. So, so sorry. No hurt. Never. You’re safe. So, so sorry.’ The giant clicked, the remorseful low tones barely able to be translated through his sniffling. Holy shit now he just felt kinda bad.

“It’s- well, it’s not exactly alright, you did eat me, but.. you’re like me, aren’t you?” Quackity responded verbally, the idea that he was speaking to a fellow borrower instead of a predator easing his panic. ‘Yes.’ The giant clicked. “You aren’t the only borrower I’ve met that does...this. I know what you are, and I know that I’m not going to get hurt. Just, can you be sure to leave me at the store when your instincts are settled? I have family here.” “Oh, oh, of course, absolutely.” The giant finally verbally responded. “You…you really trust that I’m not going to hurt you?” “Borrowers gotta stick together, man. I trust that even as a giant you’ll honor that. Plus I get eaten fairly often so I know it’s safe; I was more worried about getting kidnapped than digested.” “…I didn’t know there were others like me.” “Once you let me out I’ll introduce you. Theres two more right in this store, one more down the road.” Quackity responded, patting the wall in front of him. “Now can you please stand up i’m cramped as shit.” “Right! Sorry. Kinda panicked there for a second. I found your bag and freaked out cause i’d never swallowed another borrower before. It feels worse when it’s someone of your species who you know was raised to be afraid of you.” The giant apologized as the space around Quackity finally expanded again. “Bitch what have you been doing if you’ve never swallowed a borrower??” “There’s a river near my house where wasted teens hang out after dark. I mean, like, blackout drunk. I just grow giant, swallow them, and then the next morning when I spit them out I pretend I found them passed out in the river and call them a cab. If I had a nickel for every time they explained their nightmare of a giant eating them alive I’d be the richest man in England.” “In where?” “England, where I used to live, across the ocean. I just moved here to live with my boyfriend.” “Oh, congrats, man.” “Thanks. I should probably go back out to talk to him, though. I kinda just ran off.” “Fair enough. I’m good to just chill and nap, if I really need you I know how to get your ‘attention.’” Quackity finished with a click, louder and higher pitched than the others; the catch all emergency “pay attention to me” noise. The stranger laughed and clicked back an affirmation before Quackity felt them pat the wall outside of him and leave whatever room he’d locked himself in.

This felt…oddly natural. Less than an hour ago Quackity was scared for his life, now he was just having a chat with the stranger who just swallowed him alive. He only had one thought as he dozed off: how did he keep ending up in situations like this.

~~~~

“You’re sure he’s not-” “Sapnap, I’ve checked everywhere, I have no idea where else he could be.” Karl pleaded from his place hidden on top of the shelves. Sapnap cursed. “My shift is almost over, when this store closes we can scour every inch of it to find him. In the meantime I’ll see if Dream knows anything, you check at home, ok?” “Ok. I love you, Sap.” “I love you, too. We’ll find him, ok?” Karl nodded, willing tears out of his eyes as he darted away towards the vents.

Quackity had been missing for a couple hours now. He’d gone out borrowing and hadn’t been found at any of the aisles he’d said he was going to hit and hadn’t shown up at any rendezvous points. Sapnap and Karl had no idea where he was.

Dream was basically nonexistent today, showing his boyfriend all around the store instead of managing. Sapnap was trying to stay as far from those two as physically possible. Sure he may be a hypocrite for complaining about pda when him and his fiancés were so obnoxiously cuddly, but that’s different. Theyre engaged, he’s marrying them. Dream and whoever-the-fuck are just holding hands and being all touchy and gross in front of the customers. No thank you.

Sapnap is sure that Quackity would agree and make fun of them with him if he could only find him.

Soon enough, the store was closing for the night and everyone was gathering their stuff to leave after the customers had left. Sapnap shot Karl a questioning text, knowing they had a phone in their living room, to which the answer was negative. Still no sign of Quackity, so Dream was their last lead. But Dream, for some fucking reason, was nowhere to be seen, no matter where Sapnap looked for him. He was about ready to pull his hair out when his search was cut off by the loudspeaker. “Hey guys! I realize a lot of you haven’t met my boyfriend yet so if it’s not too much trouble, I want you all to congregate at the center of the store before you go if you’ve got the time!” Sapnap groaned. He did not give two shits about Dream’s boy toy right now, one of the loves of his life could be in actual trouble. That, and the sickly sweet excitement in Dream’s voice was actually making him nauseous. Still, now he knew where Dream was.

So Sapnap made his way to the center of the store, not surprised to see almost everyone else crowded around the newcomer. Sapnap could only see him from behind, but he was much shorter than Dream (which still makes him taller than Sapnap, unfortunately) with dark thick wavy hair. He also had a ridiculous accent that he’d only heard from Tommy, Tubbo, and that one baking show Dream put on before the store opened. Dream spotted Sapnap first, and quickly took the liberty of introducing him. “Oh, Nick! Good to see you, man, you haven’t met my boyfriend yet!” Dream gestured to the stranger next to him, who spun to meet Sapnap’s eye. He froze, and the man across from him seemingly did, too. Theres no god damn way. Not after all this time, there’s no chance. “George, this is Nick, and Nick-“ “Sapnap?” The (not?) stranger next to him asked in an accent that didn’t fit the face he was looking at. The face he had sworn he’d seen for the last time almost a decade ago. The face he’d sworn to memory since it was his fault, all his fault that his lover’s brother was dead,

“C’mon, George, hurry up!”

“Slow down!”

that the oldest of Sam’s kids was gone,

“I told dad I wouldn’t be late! Your family is probably already there, Sam hates being late! And Karl is over, too, we gotta move!”

“We’ve been running..for 30 minutes, Sap. Gimme a break…”

that his best friend in the fucking world was-

“Come on we’re so close!! Just, like, another few feet, you’ll be fine.”

“Just go ahead without me,”

“Fine, but when Sam is mad at you it won’t be my fault!”

right there.

“George?”

His best friend didn’t move, at first. None of the employees or Dream dared to say a word as they stared at each other, both of them with tears beginning to stream down their faces. Sapnap took a step forward, then another, scared that if he moved any faster that the ghost in front of him would dissipate. George broke the tension when he full on sprinted and tackled Sapnap in a hug, clinging to him like he was his only lifeline, sending both of them to the floor. Sapnap clung back, burying his face in the shoulder of his best friend who he’d mourned for so, so many years and he sobbed. He sobbed like he was 12 again, like he was the age he’d been when he’d lost the person who meant more to him than anything in the world. George cried more silently, but the steadily growing tear stain on Sapnap’s shirt and ragged breathing betrayed him.

Sapnap pulled away and grabbed George’s face, just looking it over. It hadn’t changed much, over the years. He looked older, of course, and tired. But he was still…George. He still had the same glint in his eye, the same quirk to his lip. Holy shit. It hadn’t truly hit Sapnap until he was face to face with him, holding him in his arms, sobbing into him and feeling his heartbeat against his body, and feeling the warmth of his flushed cheeks in his palms. Holy shit, George, his best friend, his George, was alive. Sapnap laughed lightly, the tears not stopping. George looked at him, grabbing his hands and intertwining their fingers as he began to laugh with him. The two of them dissolved into a fit of laughter as they kept crying, sitting up together and unwilling to untangle their fingers, pressing their foreheads together, something Sapnap had learned was strictly a borrower show of affection so he was sure that to all the humans watching they looked stupid. He didn’t care. He had his best friend back.

Wait. The humans.

Sapnap was big, he had just gotten off his shift. George was…his size. Holy fuck George was a shifter. “Uh, not to interrupt the moment, but…how do you two know each other?” “And what the fuck is a ‘Sapnap’?” Dream asked, followed by Punz. “Nickname!” Sapnap was quick to answer, standing and yanking George to his feet as well. “Yeah, haha, my close friends have been calling me Sapnap since childhood. You fall asleep in a tree one time and you’re pegged for life, y’know?” He laughed awkwardly, the lie coming out forced and unconvincing. “How are you two childhood friends, I thought you were from here?” Dream asked him, and George cut off whatever explanation Sapnap was going to give. “He is, so am I. I…i didn’t end up in England willingly. I was kidnapped, i’ve been trying to get home for years.” Dream’s eyes widened, the rest of the humans responded in various levels of shock, some gasping and some staring at him sadly. “I know, I know, poor George has spent the last 9 years on the wrong side of the ocean, boohoo. Thats over now, I’m back and I don’t want to think about it anymore.” George didn’t miss the pained look on Sapnap’s face as he explained. “I didn’t blame you. Not for a second.” He said quietly, and saw tears form in Sapnap’s eyes again. “If I hadn’t-“ “There was no way you could have known. It wasn’t your fault. I’m glad you weren’t taken with me, even if I missed you.” “I’m still sorry.” “Well sucks, cause you’re not allowed to be. I’m not letting you.” Sapnap scoffed wetly. “I’m 21 years old you can’t tell me what to do anymore.” “When could I ever.”

God, Sapnap had missed him. Even after all this time, their banter came easy, like the years of separation and mourning had never even happened. “I’m glad you two found each other again. You seem really close.” Dream said after he thought the two had finished their moment. “He’s only my best friend in the entire world that i’ve thought was dead for 9 years.” Sapnap shrugged, and George elbowed him. Sapnap laughed. Yeah, he’d missed him.

The next half an hour was spent with the humans getting to know George better, and with him and Sapnap telling (incredibly altered) stories of their childhoods. “Oh, oh! Sap, we have a bet!” George yelled excitedly, something akin to mischief in his eye. “We do?” “Yes! I bet that you’d either end up with my brother or the new kid in town, and you bet that I’d end up with that guy my age from the town over who gave me gifts sometimes. I got kidnapped before i got to see how that all went down, and if I remember correctly, it was 10 bucks to whoever was right. You already lose,” George said as he gestured to Dream, who was basically hanging off his arm. “so I need to know if I’m getting paid.”

What they’d really bet on as kids were honey candies that Bad had made, which were a rare treat cause honey was hard to get safely, but Sapnap supposed that $10 was a good enough human equivalent. It had been a stupid bet, and one Sapnap was sure he’d win. The random guy from the other colony stopped to give George gifts almost daily, and not easy to come by ones, either. To this day no one was quite sure how he managed to bring flowers that were not only out of season, but not even native to the forest. Sapnap, however, had found George’s bet ridiculous. At the time he found Quackity severely irritating; he always tried to interrupt his time with George and he never shut up. And he barely knew Karl, all he knew about him was that George said he was chill, they’d rarely ever even spoken. So he took the bet. A decade later, it was biting him in the ass. Sapnap stared him down before sighing, reaching into his pocket and pulling out two $10 bills, throwing them in George’s direction. “…Sap you gave me two.” “So I did.” George stared blankly. “I only need the one if I was right.” Sapnap sighed. “Nope, you need both. You were right twice.” George’s eyes widened in understanding as Sapnap finished. “Fuck you and your ability to know what I want before even I want it.”

“What?! What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck, you- what?! You got with them, both of them?!” George practically jumped on Sapnap as he held up his braid: red, purple, and navy, worn on his left ring finger. George screamed. “Tell me everything! How long have you been together, how long have you been engaged?! You’d better not be married yet, that better not be what that means, cause i’m planning your wedding, god dammit. Oh my god, I’ve missed so much. You’d better be taking care of my brother.” George ranted, and Sapnap laughed at his excitement before freezing. Oh fuck, George’s brother. He’d been so caught up in the impossible return of his best friend that he’d forgotten, and here he was wasting time.

“Ok, this has been fun, but I think it’s time to lock everything up for the night, Dream.” Sapnap said, suddenly incredibly serious. Dream was confused, but the pleading look in Sapnap’s eyes led him to agree. It didn’t take the rest of the employees long to leave, they’d been packed up since they met George, but they couldn’t say goodbye and get out the door fast enough. George stood next to him, worry taking over his features, but Sapnap couldn’t focus on that. He’d never live with himself if his distraction caused him to lose Quackity so soon after regaining George. The only thing that broke him out of his panic was hearing the door to the store lock. “Ok, it’s just us three, what’s up-“ “Quackity is missing.” Sapnap interrupted, panic clear in his voice. Dream and George both stared at him in horror. “He went out borrowing this morning, Karl and I haven’t seen him since. Did you see him at all when you were making your rounds?” “Wait, wait,” George interrupted. “You three live here? And he knows about them?!” George said, pointing to Dream. “What happened to hiding from humans?” “I’m not human, I figured that out about half a year ago. I can change sizes like he can, like both of you can, apparently. I didn’t know you were one of us until you started talking about knowing Sapnap as a kid and I know for a fact that he grew up in a forest colony.” “You’re- you can- what?!” George yelled. “You’re not human either?!”

“Can we please stay focused!?” Sapnap yelled. “Quackity could be hurt or taken or something, I don’t know where he went and Karl and I can’t get into the security room.” “I saw him in the afternoon.” Dream added, finally. “Little before 1 o’clock, i think? He was near the back in the cleaning supply aisle. I waved and he waved back and that was that, I don’t know where he went after.” “Ok, that’s good to know. That gives us a timeframe, now we-“ “Dream.” George asked, cutting Sapnap off with an eerie calm that both other shifters could tell was going to break at the slightest nudge. “How soon after seeing him did I run off?” “Uh, not super long after, maybe 5 minutes…why?”

George’s face didn’t move, but his hands and legs started to shake, and before Sapnap or Dream could even hope to react, he was off in the opposite direction. Sapnap had no idea what could have caused a reaction like that, but chased him regardless, Dream following shortly behind. Unfortunately, George had shaken them off his trail and they had no idea where he ended up.

~~~~

Quackity prided himself on being a sound sleeper. After dealing with Sapnap on the job while he was in his stomach, he liked to think there wasn’t any amount of noise or jostling that would wake him up if he didn���t want to be awake. Hell, Sapnap once commended him for being able to sleep through a screaming match he’d had with a particularly nasty customer.

However, apparently even though he hadn’t lived in the forest for years, he still registered the attention noise as “emergency,” and woke up in a panic. Initially he forgot when he was and was about to chew his fiancé out for waking him, but the clicks were coming faster and repetitively and through tears, and Q quickly remembered where he actually was. “I’m awake, I’m awake!! Just quit it with the noise, it’s loud as hell from in here!” The noises stopped immediately, but the giant didn’t speak up. “What did you need?” Quackity asked after a few moments of silence. Another pause, then the giant answered. “Your name. I never caught your name.” “You woke me with the loud as shit alarm noise to ask for my name??” “Please, it’s important.” The giant said, voice carefully empty, though desperation seeped through. Q sighed.

“Quackity. My name is Quackity.”

Quackity’s stomach lurched as the stranger fell to the ground, heart racing and breathing coming in short bursts. He felt the giant press a hand to where he was. “…Alexis?” Quackity froze, his blood running cold. Before he could even ask how this giant knew his name, his real name, he felt the walls around him constrict as he was pulled back into the esophagus. The second he was back in the man’s mouth, he was pulled out and held up to his face. The light blinded him and he had to take a moment to wipe the spit from his eyes, but he heard the giant gasp. He mentally debated removing his mask since the wet fabric made it hard to breathe, but the idea was quickly drowned out by the instinctual fear he had of anyone other than his fiancés seeing his face uncovered. “Ok, man, how do you know-“ Quackity asked, finally getting a good look at the man. His eyes were wet with tears, and he looked at Quackity with a sense of grief, of mourning. Giant hands cupped around him like he was the most precious thing in the world. And the giant, he was…oddly familiar. Something in the stranger’s face struck a chord in him, and he found himself stunned into silence. His face was recognizable, but felt wrong, in some way. Like every detail of it was familiar, was etched carefully into his mind, but one major thing felt off. Why did he know this man’s face? Why did it feel so familiar??

The giant swiped a thumb against him, wiping some more spit off. “I…I can’t believe it’s you! I’m so sorry, Q, I had no idea at the time, I swear it.” He chuckled wetly, and Quackity searched further into his own mind. The voice was vaguely familiar if he ignored the accent, now that he thought about it. Something in his instincts screamed that he should absolutely know who this was. “I missed you. Fuck, Alex, I missed you so, so much. I’m so sorry I didn’t get to see you grow up. I wish I would have. I hope Tina and Sam took good care of you for me. From what I’ve heard, Sapnap and Karl have been taking care of you for a while now, too, haven’t they?” He laughed, still crying, still grieving. Quackity looked at him, something clicking as he talked about his- no, their family. He knew why he knew this man. He couldn’t place it earlier because he thought he was dead. He’d accepted he was dead years ago, mourned for years and years, banished the thought of him from his mind to ease the pain.

“…George…?” He barely whispered, too afraid that if he said it louder it wouldn’t be true. That he’d wake up and the visage of his giant long dead brother would be gone. He didn’t wake up. The giant just grinned and nodded, holding Quackity up and pressing him against his nose, lightly trailing his thumb down his back. “I’m here, Q. I’m here for good.” Quackity let himself be held in this awkward imitation of a hug; he didn’t sob, he didn’t scream, he just let himself cry silently as he tried to wrap his mind around everything. The last time he’d seen George…

He took a deep breath. It was a memory he’d long repressed, the mere thought of it sending him into a spiral of grief and longing that took him days to get out of. But his brother was in front of him. His brother was here. His brother was back.

No matter how much he said it, he still couldn’t truly believe it. Not yet.

He’d been in his house, in a carefully carved out hole at the base of a tree. Sapnap had just walked in, complaining about how slow George was. He and his dads were over for dinner. Karl was too; he didn’t have parents, so the families of the colony rotated taking care of him. It was Sam’s turn that night. No one knew him well, but George had been making an effort to make him feel included. Without him there, Karl awkwardly sat alone at the table, waiting. The kitchen smelled wonderful, a mix of whatever herbs and vegetables Sam could harvest wafting through the air. It was almost sunset, the sky turning a pale pink. Quackity wasn’t sure why he remembered everything from that night in so much agonizing detail. Maybe it was because it was the last night of normalcy, the last few moments of peace and comfort he’d feel for years. Maybe he wanted to hold onto how he’d felt in those moments, before his heart had been shattered and his community broken.

Sapnap had sobbed so hard that he couldn’t speak for a week after and got so dehydrated that he could barely see or walk. Tina needed to be alone and didn’t leave her room until the memorial. Karl had made himself useful where he could, comforting the others, distracting himself. Quackity didn’t see him break down over it until about a year later, after they’d grown close. Quackity had heard Sam smash things in a blind fit of rage and hurt in the moments after, though he spent the next months building and crafting for the colony to try and forgive himself by being useful to others. Bad comforted him when none of it made him feel any better. Skeppy took over Bad and Sam’s duties to the colony for while.

Quackity didn’t quite know how to mourn. The others knew that, of course, but…he was 11. Logically he knew his brother wasn’t coming back, but it slipped his mind. He’d wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare of humans and running and grieving and find himself in his brother’s now empty bedroom. He made portions of food for George at the table, and no one would move it from the empty seat. He talked with friends about how much George would love to hear what he’d done that day when he got home. No one corrected him. Permanency doesn’t make much sense to an 11 year old. At 12 or 13, you start to get it. Sapnap, after all, was only a year older than him and understood just fine. By 14, 15, 16-

Quackity is 20. Slowly but surely, he had learned that his brother wasn’t coming back.

He tried so hard to commit his brother’s face to memory. He was so young when he’d lost him. He tried desperately to etch every single minute detail into his mind so he’d never lose at least that part of George. Every detail of his face from 9 years ago stayed perfectly intact in Quackity’s mind, which may be why he hadn’t recognized him now. This George wasn’t 16 anymore, he would be 25, and he looked like it. He had bags under his eyes, creases around his mouth and forehead that hadn’t been there, and, oh yeah, every detail that he did recognize was about 100x larger than it should have been. George wasn’t a teenager, he was a grown man, and it was strange to see. He could only imagine how strange George felt seeing him as an adult when he’d barely been old enough to go borrowing last he’d seen him. He wondered if George questioned his face mask, but he wasn’t going to push that if he didn’t have to. George hadn’t been around when he’d gotten the scar that marred his face, and he’d hate for his brother’s image of him to be tainted by it.

This…was him. It was really him.

“Holy shit…” Quackity said breathlessly, not bothering to say more. What more could he say? His brother was back. Against all odds and logic, he was alive and safe and home. Quackity still wasn’t fully in his right mind when he felt himself be pulled away from the warmth and set on the ground. He had half a mind to argue it, dreading being apart from his brother after just finding him again, before he saw the giant clothes fall to the ground and a much more recognizable version of George crawl out. Apparently, he followed the Sapnap rule of “keep tiny clothes in your pocket when human in case you have to shrink.” He was so much easier to recognize like this; the version of George he used to imagine he would find one day, before reality forced him to give up hope and move on.

Quackity finally broke and ran to him, throwing himself at his brother who caught him with ease. He felt like a little kid again, when he would tackle his brother after he got home from scavenging or farming to show how much he’d missed him. He clung to him like a lifeline, and George ran one hand through his hair and hugged him with another as Q wrapped his arms around his shoulders. He let Quackity cry quietly into his shirt and just held him. “How…? How’ve you…you were…I saw…” Quackity couldn’t quite put everything into words, not when what he was feeling was so fresh. “It’s ok. Everything is ok right now.” George’s voice quivered slightly, the only thing betraying his emotions right now. He so easily slotted himself back into the older brother role that he’d been robbed of for years. “I’m here now. I can explain everything later. For now, let’s just…let’s just be here.” “You’d better,” Quackity laughed sarcastically, “explain, i mean, considering I just spent the better part of today in your stomach.” Quackity laughed more genuinely as he recieved an annoyed but light slap to the back of the head for that comment, but relented.

Quackity wasn’t sure how long they just stood like that, but eventually, he heard footsteps coming from the vents. He let go and looked up to find Sapnap tying a rope down, and Dream standing waiting for it. They made their way down as much of the rope as they could since it wasn’t long enough to hit the ground; Dream started using shelves to scale down while Sapnap basically jumped down far too quickly to be safe. “Quackity!” Sapnap yelled, throwing himself at his fiancé and pressing their faces into a rough kiss that had Quackity laughing before Sapnap even pulled away. “What the hell, man, where have you been all day?! Karl and I have been worried sick!” “Why don’t you ask him?” Quackity answered, pointing at George who had a look of absolute disbelief painting his face. Quackity was confused by his reaction for a moment before remembering that he’d missed the past few years that led to his engagement. He went to explain himself until George suddenly snapped head to look at Sapnap. “I so deserved that $20.” Sapnap punched him and Quackity couldn’t help but feel very lost. He was saved from his confusion when Dream finally hit the ground and all of George’s attention was drawn to him.

“Holy fuck, you are like me…” George whispered, eyes wide. Dream laughed, closing the distance between them. “I may or may not have been shot at. Took me a while to get used to, but i’ve been able to shift for a while now.” He explained awkwardly. George, eyes still wide with shock, nodded slowly. George started to ask Dream more questions, and Dream explained how he’d learned about borrowers and their culture, and told George that Tommy was a shifter, too. Sapnap slipped himself right next to Quackity, interlocking their fingers and squeezing his hand tight, not seeming to mind how thoroughly soaked in spit Quackity still was. “So…your brother.” Sapnap whispered, and Quackity chuckled quietly. “My brother. This is…so damn weird. I really thought-“ “yeah.” Sapnap interrupted him, voice choked up. Quackity had a feeling he didn’t want to hear it any more than he himself wanted to admit it out loud. “But here he is…” Quackity trailed off. Sapnap didn’t try to continue the thought. They had nothing more to say. The two stood, hands interlocked, content to watch as Dream and Georges’ serious conversation turned to playful bickering.

“Hey,” Quackity started, squeezing Sapnap’s hand just a little tighter to get his attention. “does Karl know yet?”

~~~~

“I’m going to kill those fuckers when they get back here.” Karl muttered to himself, pacing the floors of his living room. ‘if they get back here,’ his mind supplied unhelpfully. He had parted ways with Sapnap almost 2 hours ago, and had been texting him nonstop. Nothing. He’d gone back out to look for him; after all, he was human size, how hard could he be to find? Hard, apparently, cause the man was fucking nowhere. Now both of his fiancés were missing. Awesome, perfect, how could this day get any better?

As if on que, he heard footsteps echoing through the carved tunnels of the home. About 4 distinct sets, if he was hearing right. Good. He didn’t know that many borrowers, and even fewer knew their way through the walls of the store, so two of them had to be Quackity and Sapnap. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders at the realization that they were alright. The others he assumed were Dream and Tommy, since it wasn’t too out of the ordinary for them to show up unannounced and stay the night. Karl just hoped they wouldn’t mind listening to him chew his fiancés out for making him worry so much.

Karl took a few deep breaths, preparing himself to not yell at the two for stressing him out for hours. Just kindly scold a bit, that’s all. It just so happened that in his pacing, his back was facing the door when he heard the first step into the room, followed by the rest of the group. He took a deep breath in.

“Sapnap, Quackity. You had better have a good fucking reason for not telling me where you were or I swear to god-“ Karl started, swiveling to face whichever of his fiancés had been unfortunate enough to walk in first only for all of his air to leave him at once.

Sapnap, Quackity, and Dream stood near the entrance, a good few inches behind the man face to face with Karl. Karl couldn’t breathe. He actually couldn’t fucking breathe. The man was a good bit shorter than him, with dark curly hair and a light spattering of freckles. He looked up at Karl with tears in his mismatched eyes, eyes Karl never thought he’d see again.

“Hi, Karl.”

He wasn’t exactly sure what happened. One second, he was looking at a living ghost. The next? There were four people surrounding him, he was facing the ceiling, and his head fucking hurt.

“…ow would I have known?!” “Is this normal, has he fainted before?” “No!” “Shit, fuck, did he hit his head?” “I think so, do you guys have an ice pack?” “We live in the walls, Dream, how the fuck would we have ice.” “Shut up, shut up, he’s waking up!”

Karl sat up half on his own and half with the help of who he could only assume were Quackity and Sapnap. “God dammit, my head hurts.” Karl whined, the black still leaving the corners of his eyes and his vision clearing painfully slowly. “Nice goin’ George, you concussed him.” “Fuck off, Sapnap, no I didn’t…did I?” Karl vaguely saw a green shape move closer. Dream then. He felt his eyes be pried opened, then shut again. “His pupils are normal, he’ll be fine.” “Oh thank god.” The british voice responded. It was the only voice Karl couldn’t immediately recognize, though it sounded familiar in its own right.

He finally opened his eyes the rest of the way to see the same dark haired man sitting in front of him, face plastered with worry. “…Karl? You ok?”

Karl sat in silence for a minute, face carefully blank, the calm before a storm. “…am I ok?” Karl asked quietly, volume growing quickly, “am I ok? am I ok?! Holy fuck, George!!” Karl practically screamed, throwing himself at the man in front of him and squeezing him in as tight of a hug as he could manage. “I’m not the one who’s been missing in action for 9 goddamn years, what do you mean ‘am I ok,’ fuck off, holy shit.” he laughed, tears pouring down his face. “What the fuck, what the fuck…” he muttered, unable to hide his smile as he cried. “I missed you, too.” George whispered, clinging onto Karl.

Karl let go of the hug, still keeping a grip on both of George’s shoulders as he turned to his fiancés. “How did you…?” “He just showed up.” Sapnap shrugged at the same time Quackity said “He kidnapped me.” Both of the fiancés turned to him. “He’s a shifter and I’m sopping wet. Put the pieces together.” Karl and Sapnap turned back to George, who was red in the face and refusing to make eye contact with anyone in the room. “Wait you’re a- nevermind.” Karl shook his head, “I don’t care, not right now. I couldn’t give less of a fuck about the who, when, where, how, or the why. I just care that you’re here. We can iron out the rest of that later.” “Sounds good.” George muttered, eyes locked firmly with the ground. “Dude, we do it too. You have no reason to be embarrassed.” Sapnap tried to comfort, gesturing to Dream and himself, but George just sputtered something that could have been an attempt at words before giving up and burying his face in his hands. “Give him a break,” Quackity intervened, “it was his first time storing someone he’d see again after, now he’s gotta live with the fact I know what his stomach looks like. Plus it was his first time eating a borrower and it happened to be his brother, he’s gonna be weird about it.” Quackity half explained half teased. George flipped him off with both hands without uncovering his face. “Fuck you, I’m keeping your bag.” he muttered, his voice muffled behind his hands. Quackity shot back some obscenity before Sapnap quickly pulled him into a different room to put on clothes that weren’t soggy.

“Why are you here then? No offense.” Karl asked Dream. “I fuckin’ brought him here! He moved here to move in with me, we’ve been dating online for like 5 years. I had no idea he knew any of you or was even a borrower until I ‘introduced’ him to Sapnap.” “Wait, you’ve been what?!” Karl dramatically turned back to George. “You’re dating Dream?!” “Mhm.” George confirmed, finally lowering his hands from his face. “Had no idea he was a…what’d Q call me, a shifter? Absolutely never would have guessed he’d be the one to reunite me with all of you.” “I’m planning your wedding.” Karl said, a tone of finality to his voice. “You can plan my wedding if I can plan yours.” George smirked, eyes darting to the braid around Karl’s ankle. Karl’s face went red hot in a matter of seconds. “So you-“ “Know that you’ve been dating my brother and best friend for god knows how long? Yes. I was betting on it, even. Sapnap gave me $20.” “Ok cool,” Karl sighed, “cause I wasn’t positive what kind of reaction you’d have to the idea that your brother and I have ha-“ “And that’s where that sentence can end!!” George shouted, shoving both of his hands over Karl’s mouth. “No more!! You keep that to yourself!” Dream snorted and Karl cackled from behind George’s hands.

“What did he say?” Quackity asked, re-entering the room with Sapnap, both in their pjs and Quackity with a new less wet and suffocating face mask on. “Nothing I wanted to hear.” George said in lieu of an answer, removing his hands from Karl’s mouth and wiping the spit off them. “Wanna spend the night? You guys can borrow some clothes to sleep in.” Sapnap asked, looking to George more than Dream. George glanced back to Dream. “…I need to move the stuff I brought from England into Dream’s house. Plus, the U-Haul arrives tomorrow morning and I really should meet Tommy in person.” George’s voice was sad, and only got sadder as the looks on the faces of his family dropped. They all sat silently, none of the borrowers making a move to argue and neither Dream nor George moving to leave. “…we can do it tomorrow.” Dream said finally. “If we leave here by like 7:30 we can make it to the house before the U-Haul gets there. Plus Tommy, Ranboo, Foolish, and Puffy will be helping us bring your stuff in, so it won’t take that much longer if we don’t start it now. And Tommy loves any chance he can get to drag Ranboo over for a solo sleepover night. You’ll be living with him, you’ll get plenty of chances to get to know him.” “Really?” “Of course really, you shouldn’t have to be pulled away from your long lost family to deal with a U-Haul.”

The borrowers collectively cheered, Karl going to drag more pillows and blankets into the bedroom area, Sapnap grabbing clothes he thought would fit them, and Dream shooting a quick text to Tommy that said he wouldn’t be home that night before joining Quackity in showing George around the rest of the “house.” Dream just watched George’s face. What? He’d only met him in person about a day ago, he was allowed to admire how lucky he’d gotten in the boyfriend department, the man was gorgeous. All of George’s attention was on Quackity. He’d never seen so much unbridled joy on someone’s face. He kind of looked like he was on the verge of tears, but to be fair, he’d looked like that all day. Like he was grieving. Dream couldn’t blame him. If he’d been separated from Foolish for as long as George had been separated from Quackity, he’s sure he’d feel the exact same way.

It didn’t take long for all of them to settle together. Dream had been taught a long time ago that that was just an outdoor borrower thing; they only had whatever insulation existed in the forest for their homes, so they conserved whatever heat they could by sleeping in a pile. Despite the store being heated, Dream supposed old habits died hard. Or maybe they just didn’t want to be apart again so soon, even to sleep.

George was in the middle, arm tightly around Quackity with his hand holding Karl’s, who himself was curled around his fiancé. On his other side, Sapnap leaned into him, George’s arm firmly locked in his. All of them were either half asleep or fully dead to the world, eyes closed and peaceful. They made a pretty picture; they looked like a family. Dream moved to separate himself from them, not wanting to interrupt their moment, before being yanked back down by both his wrist and his leg and falling into the pile. “And where do you think you’re going?” George mumbled sleepily, and Dream registered that it was his tail that has yanked his leg (he was going to have to get used to the idea that his partner had a tail, why was no one in his life human anymore) while it was Sapnap’s hand that was firmly grasped around his wrist. “I- I just didn’t think I shou-“ “Shut the fuck up,” Sapnap mumbled, freeing his wrist and groggily smacking Dream in the face. “Just.. shut the fuck up and sleep. It’s been such. a fucking day. Just sleep.” George hummed in agreement, obviously barely clinging to consciously, pulling Dream closer to him with his tail. Dream took the hint and wrapped his arms around George, who didn’t have any hands to spare. He sighed, resting his head against his boyfriend’s collarbone and hearing a faint purr. Right, borrower. He’d need to remember that.

He couldn’t quite be sure what the future held, especially now. First he wasn’t human, then his ward wasn’t human, and now his boyfriend isn’t human and also happens to be a missing family member/friend to a bunch of his friends, who also aren’t human. Tomorrow, he’d drag George out to their home and unload a U-haul with help from his mom and brother and Tommy’s best friend. Tomorrow, George would meet Tommy (and Tubbo, once Puffy and Foolish left). Tomorrow, George would get a tour of his new home and town, the parts he hadn’t seen growing up as a borrower. Somewhere down the line Dream would have to tell his family that he wasn’t a human, that no one in his house was a human, and he knew that somewhere down the line he’d help reunite George with the rest of the people he was taken from. But for now, everything was alright. Right now, for the first time ever, he held his boyfriend in his arms after 5 years of falling asleep on the phone together. Right now, for the first time in almost a decade, a man reunited with his brother and two best friends. And for right now, that would be enough.

[legionofpotatoes]

alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill

[gatoinq]

it never occurred to me to write about my ii experience on tumblr, but i figured it could be helpful for those who would appreciate a lil story time like this.

essentially, to make a very long story short, i ended up getting my vip tickets at 2am the morning of my show. i had a fantastic time meeting them and an even better time watching the show! a more in-depth story under the cut, per usual.

needless to say, i was equal parts excited and terrified of what was to come. i hate last minute planning more than anything else so i really had no idea what to say, what to have them sign, what pose i wanted to do with them, etc. (yes, i’ve been a fan since 2013 and have had numerous scenarios of me meeting d&p playing in my head throughout those years but the second that that somehow become a reality ALL expectations and year-long plans flew out of my head instantly).

so to start off, i had to plan what exactly i wanted dan and phil to sign. at first, i wanted to draw something from scratch to have them sign so that it would be that little more special, but i simply couldn’t muster much of anything with the limited time and my shaken nerves, so i settled with printing out two copies of my fanart of dan and phil singing the ii song.  in the end, i figured that this piece was a lot more meaningful to have signed instead of a random fanart that i made at the last minute, and i was completely right to do so.

fast forward a couple hours, and i’m trying to get into the vip line for ii. i made a rather lengthy thread on twitter about this experience if you’re interested but again, to keep a long story short, it was quite a hassle for me! but in the end, i manage to get in.

the meet and greet starts. i’m trying to play it cool because the people i’m with start to completely freak out once dan and phil round the corner to say hi to the vips and all of a sudden the reality just runs us over like a train! what was once a distant “oh yeah we’ll get to that bridge when we cross it” became “OH MY GOD WE’RE AT THE BRIDGE WE’RE CROSSING THE BRIDGE NOW AND THE BRIDGE IS ON FIRE” for me, my big moment was realizing that, finally, after over 5 years of watching these two weird guys on the internet i was actually going to get to meet and hug them and that realization was absolutely WILD.

so, i’m at the front of the line. my sister is in tears and shaking because of how nervous she is to meet them. marianne, being an absolute sweetie, tries to comfort my sister by telling her that dan and phil will be happy to see her and that she shouldn’t be afraid of them. in a way, i kind of needed to hear those words too, so i use that opportunity to go meet them before my sister does so that she can gather herself in the mean time. marianne takes my gift to them (the other copy of the fanart i made) and i go for it.

first thing i see is phil, and wowow holy shit people are 100% not lying when they say he is 569845x more handsome in person. even worse, you can see practically every freckle he has and his eyes are so vibrant!!!! in a way, i would describe it as being used to seeing a pixel art of a character to all of a sudden seeing an 8K render of said character. i knew what i was in for so i immediately dive into phil’s hug before i stare for too long, and i’ll say for sure that the information overload of not only seeing phil in person but also getting to feel how he hugs you made my brain short circuit and i blacked out in phil’s arms for 0.01 seconds so i don’t fully remember exactly how his hug felt like. (UNFORTUNATELY!!!! AHHH) also at this point the first thing i say to them is “oh my gooood y’all are so beautiful!!” whilst squealing incoherently. i don’t know if they said anything in response to that because, again, information overload!!!

next i hug dan, and that goes perfectly fine. he greets me with a big smile and that’s about as much as i can remember of how he looked like. from this point on i’m too scared to look at them in the face so i settle for looking at myself through my selfie camera that i already had prepared or through the middle distance of them lmao.

i’ll say that for the m&g, dan 100% took charge and was the person who responded to me. i give them my art to sign and they both ooh and ahh enthusiastically while signing. dan in particular goes high pitched with his praise and said “this is so good!!”. i explain to them that i’m an animation student and that they are one of my biggest inspirations in art. dan looks up at me and thanks me. once they’re done signing, dan hands back my art to me and compliments my outfit, “i noticed that you’re matching the show’s theme, i appreciate that” and i tell him something along the lines of “yes of course i had to i’m an artist” but like. i think i flubbed my words and it came out mumbly so idk if he heard me try to be funny dnfvjscs

next, i hand my phone to dan and he and phil immediately go into their standardized meet and greet pose. i had to quickly interject because I PLANNED OUT THIS POSE RIGHT WHEN I GOT THOSE TICKETS and i told them “hey so i have an idea for a pose. basically y’all take a cute selfie and i’m in the bg looking pissed”. i swear i didn’t even get the chance to finish my request because both dan and phil seemed to telepathically know what i wanted and they go into the pose no questions asked and i had to scramble to catch up with their efficiency. we take the picture and dan says something along the lines of “okay now lets take a cute selfie”. we do the normal pose and i’m beaming like a mfer because phil’s holding me and his chin is on my shoulder???? what the heck i stan one man who didn’t talk to me at all during the m&g kdfjcnkjdsncjkdsc (obvs no complaints phil owns my entire heart and soul)

of course, now because i’m a little delirious from phil holding me and dan’s kindness i say “thank you so much” and try to leave so that i can actually breathe but before i go dan stops me (like. he legit looks at me straight in the eyes right as i’m about to walk away and i FREEZE in my spot) and says “keep it up with your art career” and me. kind of extremely shocked that he would be so pointed with his encouragement towards me goes “okay thank you!!” and fucking BOOKS IT.

the only thing after that is, of course, ii. i won’t go into too much detail about the show but i’m so so so so glad san diego got one of the special versions of ii with the phil bucks and phantastic phacts included. by far the best part of the show was the getting real segment though, as phil lester himself walked to the edge of stage RIGHT WHERE I JUST HAPPENED TO BE SITTING IN FRONT ROW and sits there for a good 5 minutes. needless to say i took this time to freely stare at phil so close to me and i truly felt blessed for the allotted amount of time. i love phil a lot.

(the next day, my sister drops the bomb on me that during her m&g she pointed me out to dan and phil and they gushed about me to her saying things like “aww yes you two are matching her art is so good she should keep it up!” just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

so yes, ii was absolutely one of the best experiences of my life and i could not be prouder of dan and phil for being able to pull off a second world tour that is, in my opinion, so much better than their first. i adore them so much. heck.