#there is a part of me that knows i only benefit by waiting until im ready but like

[queenshammer]

Howwwww to cope with everyone leaving you behind while you’re spiraling

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

I just finished watching S2E13 The Stan Who Came To Dinner, and there's a scene I didn't remember before in which Stan asks for Dorothy's forgiveness for all the times he cheated on her, because he wants to face his operation with a clear conscience. Which is,, yikes, of course, but also not the thing I want to talk about right now.

What surprised me is that Dorothy seems to be shocked at his revelations? It seems like she really didn't know about Stan's infidelity? I mean, the whole dialogue begins with her saying:

"I've already forgiven you for that, Stanley. Besides, in the grand scheme of things, it's not bad to wait 38 years to make your first big mistake."

I initially thought his mistake was divorcing Dorothy (since his line before this one is 'I love you, Dorothy. That sounds crazy because I walked out on you, but it's true.' ), but then he admits that the divorce wasn't his first mistake, because he's cheated on Dorothy before -- and she seems genuinely taken aback:

"I cannot believe this. I cannot believe that I am hearing this. I always assumed something like this could happen, but..."

And this was so strange to me, because I always sort of assumed she did know. She even caught him one time! In S7E8-9 The Monkey Show, she recounts this episode about Stan:

"[...] I rehearsed my speech and I made arrangements to meet him at a coffee shop. I got there five minutes early and caught him necking with a waitress."

So... she does know (of at least one time)? But then, why didn't she say anything?

I feel like there's three possible answers:

She really doesn't know. She thought the incident with the waitress was a one-time occurrence, and she's believed him all throughout their marriage when he said he was 'going at a convention' or 'working late' or whatever excuse he used to cover his actions.

She's lying to him in the S2E13 scene -- and she's lied to him all throughout their marriage. She does know about his affairs, and never confronted him because she wanted to keep their marriage and their family together more than she hated his guts; she didn't want to rock the boat, so to say. What shocks her in the S2E13 scene is that he's admitting this stuff out loud, with plenty of details.

She lied to herself all throughout their marriage. As trustful of him as Dorothy can be (and as trustful of him as she was in her youth, especially), she's also a smart cookie, and Stan's not really the sharpest tool in the shed. It's hard for me to believe that she never figured out that he was cheating on her, especially after catching him with that waitress; it's easier to think that she forced herself to believe his gaslighting, as part of her efforts to be a good wife to him. When Stan (sort of...) comes clean, she's shocked because it's sinking in, in real time, that she was right.

I'm not sure which option is more likely; I feel like it's probably a mix of the three. At the beginning of their marriage she likely didn't think it possible and believed everything he told her; once she caught him with the waitress, she had a sort of transition phase where she tried to believe he was faithful to her even though she knew the truth, deep down, and then by the end of her marriage she was over it, and simply chose not to let him have it. She's shocked in S2E13 because she can't believe he's admitting this stuff out loud, but she doesn't seem as shocked (and angry) as she would be if she was just finding it out in the moment, imho.

I also feel like her knowing about his infidelity doesn't change the meaning of the first mistake line, because, well... he's always come back before. He's come back to hurt her again and again, but he has come back -- and then she gets a phone call, and suddenly, for the first time, he's not coming back anymore. It's the one time that's so devastatingly painful it eclipses everything that came before -- no wonder she counts it as his first mistake.

[likeumeanit9497]

yale | c.s. |

chris x fem!reader

read part two here

summary: chris and y/n’s relationship was strictly sexual, and they both seem more than content with meeting up whenever y/n can get time away from her school work — and her boyfriend. but after a particularly intense hook up where chris put his all into making y/n shed her stress from exam prep, it becomes clear that at least one of them is starting to want something more. 

warnings: SMUUUUT; friends with benefits; cheating (do not do this pls); thigh riding; fingering; oral (f receiving); p in v; dirty talk; unprotected sex (wrap it); 18+

notes: i was (loosely) inspired by the first few lines of yale by ken carson when writing this hehe. im definitely not 100% happy with the ending of this one but i wanted to get this out of my drafts :p hope u all enjoyyyyyy <333

y/n: Hey. I’ve been super busy all day studying for my exams next week. Not sure if I’m going to be able to make it to yours today.

Chris: :(

Chris: Please come

Chris: You can study here

y/n: Definitely not. Your needy ass would just distract me.

Chris: I won’t I swear

Chris: I’ll hangout in Matt’s room or something and you can study at my desk

y/n: I don’t know…

Chris: I haven’t seen you in weeks :/

y/n: You miss me or something?

Chris: YES obviously bro

y/n: lol

y/n: I’ll tell Brad I’m going to study at the library. See you in 15, bro.

ᵕᵕᵕᵕ୨♡︎୧ᵕᵕᵕᵕ

Adjusting the shoulder strap of my tote bag, I waited for Chris to come open the front door and let me in. I didn’t have to wait long, as after a few seconds I heard the sound of his feet clambering down the stairs before being met with his unbeatable smile beaming down at me. After returning the smile, I walked through the open door and headed in the direction of his upstairs bedroom, but was stopped by a strong grip on my arm. I was spun around and was suddenly facing Chris, his brows furrowed slightly in concern.

“No kiss?” He asked with a pout. I winced, feeling guilty, before wrapping my arms around his waist and giving him a short but deep kiss. “Sorry Chris, my head’s just so scrambled. I have three finals as soon as I get back to Connecticut after Thanksgiving break and I’ve been so stressed about them.” I apologized as I moved my hand up to brush his hair out of his face. He must have just showered, because his hair was dripping wet and hanging over his sparkling blue eyes.

He brought his hands to my ass and squeezed it gently. “My Yale girl.” He said before nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. Giggling at the ticklish sensation from his facial hair, I gently pushed him off. “You know I’m not your girl, Chris.” I rolled my eyes as I started climbing the stairs up to the living room. I felt him press up against me as I walked, before I felt his breath against my hair. “Today you are.” I felt a flutter in my stomach, my body reacting in excitement just from the thought of what was to come, but I quickly cleared my mind of all of its dirty thoughts for the sake of my academic future. “Only until eight, that’s when the library closes and Brad will know something’s up if I’m still out past then.” I could practically feel his eyes roll behind me. “See? I told you that you shouldn’t have brought him home for the holidays to meet your parents. He’s causing more problems than he’s worth” He grumbled. “Whatever you say Chris,” I teased, “But you’re still gonna let me study.”

As soon as we reached Chris’ room, I headed over to his desk and began pulling my laptop and study notes from my tote bag. Chris helped me by clearing all of his empty Takis wrappers and Pepsi cans off of the surface of the desk, and moving his headset and controller to the side so that there was plenty of room for me to lay all of my papers out.

“Can I grab you anything from the kitchen before I leave?” Asked Chris as he rested his chin on my shoulder, watching me unlock my laptop. I shook my head. “I’m good for now, thanks.” I responded, already feeling myself zone into my studying. “Okay. I’m gonna be on Fortnite in Matt’s room. He’ll be out all day with the rest of my family so he won’t mind.” I nodded my head again, only half listening to his rambling as my eyes erratically scanned all the information on my computer screen. He gently pressed his lips against my temple. “And when you’re ready for a break,” He reached his hand into the big pocket of his hoodie and I heard a muffled but familiar jingle before he pulled out the small red bell and placed it on the edge of the desk. “You know what to do.” I looked up to meet his knowing eyes and he flashed me a quick wink. I felt my lips curl into a small smirk and I nodded. “Got it.” He smiled before exiting his room, shutting the door behind him.

ᵕᵕᵕᵕ୨♡︎୧ᵕᵕᵕᵕ

Rubbing my tired eyes under my glasses, I groaned in frustration. I had been using flash cards to practice my active recall for my Biology II final, and had answered the last four questions incorrectly. The most infuriating part was that I shouldknow the correct answers, but the hours I had spent studying nonstop had made me feel like I was burning out. I glanced at the time in the top right corner of my laptop screen. It was nearly 5:00. I had been studying at Chris’ for the past three hours straight. Exacerbated, I sighed and rested my head against the cold surface of the desk, closing my eyes for a moment.

After a little while, I forced my burning eyes back open and they landed on the small red object in front of me. In my erratic mindset from the hours I had spent studying, it was like the part of my brain that knew why I was really at Chris’s right now had shut off completely. I battled myself for a few moments; one half of me wanting to do the responsible thing and continue studying until I had corrected my mistakes, and the other half screaming at me to take a break. With my mind growing more and more excited at the idea of distracting myself from the mental gymnastics of Biology II, I reached for the bell and rang it three times.

Almost immediately, I heard a door creak open from down the hall and eager footsteps approaching. I watched from my place at the desk as the doorknob turned and Chris’ face popped in the room. “You ready for a break angel?” He asked as he made his way completely into the bedroom; shutting the door behind him before I even responded. Quickly stacking my flash cards and shutting off my laptop, I nodded. Immediately, Chris’ previously sparkling eyes seemed to darken before my eyes and a sly leer crossed his face.

Still sitting in the desk chair, I watched curiously as he slowly walked up to me; my head tilting up with each step he took in order to maintain our intense eye contact. Torturously slow, he leaned toward me and placed both hands against the arm rests of the chair to support his body. I waited, perfectly still, as his lips hovered in front of mine; the small space between them electric with anticipation. Finally, I felt my body immediately relax when his lips attached to mine. Our lips moved in sync slowly, his mouth painfully soft against my own. The kiss very quickly deepened, one of his hands now in my hair while one of my own wrapped around his neck, and a small moan is stifled by his tongue gently entering my mouth. Goosebumps began to rise over my skin as his mouth left mine and began traveling down my neck. Chris immediately found the spot just above my collar bone that he knew drove me crazy and began sucking and nibbling at the delicate skin; hard enough for me to roll my eyes back in pleasure but gentle enough to avoid leaving any evidence that his lips were ever there.

After trailing his lips back to mine and rhythmically kissing me for a few more moments, he stood up straight and gazed down at me. With a small smile, he hooked a finger under my chin and guided my eyes up to his. He brought the rough pad of his thumb to my soft bottom lip, and watched intently as he dragged it down slightly. “Come here.” He ordered as he began walking backward in the direction of his bed. I stood up on shaky legs and followed, straddling his lap at the edge of his unmade bed. Wrapping my arms tightly around his neck, I eagerly began kissing him again, feeling his content hums vibrate against my lips as he slipped his hands underneath my sweater, only to find out that I had chosen not to wear a bra. “Oh yeah,” I began, detaching my lips from his and innocently staring up at him through my eyelashes. “I was in such a rush to get here that I just threw this skirt and sweater on. I completely forgot to wear anything underneath them.”

I couldn’t help but smile slightly as I watched Chris’ blue eyes dilate to near-black as he realized what I meant. To confirm this realization, he pulled my black plaid skirt up over my waist to find my completely unclothed pussy hugging his thigh. His jaw went slack when he noticed the small dark patch already beginning to appear on his jeans from my arousal, and he immediately placed both of his hands firmly on my hips as if restraining himself. Eventually, he was able to pull his eyes away from my core and looked up at me with blown out pupils. His lips met mine once again, only this time they brushed against mine teasingly and without any sort of depth. Growing frustrated, I began grinding my hips against his straddled thigh so that I could find some sort of relief. At this, Chris’ grip on my hips tightened and his gaze fell down to where my core connected to his leg.

“You want to ride my thigh like a little slut, don’t you baby?” His voice sounded deep with lust, and I whimpered at his filthy words as I continued to chase my relief. Using his hands on my hips, he forcefully halted my movements and my eyes immediately snapped onto his. “Answer me, y/n.” He demanded, and I bit my bottom lip gently in frustration before quickly nodding my head. Chris smirked and shook his head slowly. “Use your words.” He said as his fingers moved mindlessly in a circular motion on my hips.

“Yes, please let me ride your thigh.” I managed to get out through my ragged breathing, and almost immediately he used the firm grip he had on my hips to slowly drag me up and down his thigh. Shutting my eyes in relief, I let him continue to grind my core down onto his thigh while I simply held onto his neck for support. The pool of arousal on his leg allowed my clit to glide with ease, but the rough texture of his denim supplied the much-needed friction against my folds that was beginning to drive me crazy. As our movements continued, Chris watched my blissful expression before bringing his lips to my neck, licking and nibbling softly. I moaned out his name as I began to feel the familiar build up of pressure in my lower stomach. “Are you feeling good, princess?” He mumbled against my neck and I nodded my head quickly. “You’re gonna cum soon aren’t you?” He asked as he brought his head back up. Again, I nodded with my bottom lip pulled tightly between my teeth. “I wanna watch you fuck my thigh yourself while you cum, so start moving princess.” He commanded as he removed his hands from my hips.

Without missing a beat, I began to grind my body against his at the same pace that he had me at before. I felt my body flush at the intense feeling of an orgasm building up, and I had to screw my eyes shut. “No y/n,” Chris began as he pulled my sweater up over my head to discard it. “I want you to look at the mess you’re making all over my thigh.” I threw my head back from the intensity of his words, but obeyed him. Looking down at my pink cunt’s rhythmic movements against his darkened jeans, I felt my orgasm finally bubble over. Gripping tightly at the base of his hair and whining out his name through clenched teeth, I gave into my high and rode out my orgasm on his flexed leg.

Once I felt the last whisper of my orgasm leave by body, I draped my head over his shoulder in an attempt to rest and catch my breath. I didn’t have more than a brief moment to do so, however, as in one swift motion Chris sat me up, laid himself flat on the bed, and pulled my hips up to hover over his face. “C-Chris I can’t, I’m so sensitive.” I whined, still feeling the weakness in my legs from my first orgasm. I felt his cool breath against my dripping cunt as he gazed up at it. “You can take it baby, I just wanna make you feel good.” He responded before lowering my core right against his open mouth. I was immediately overwhelmed by a white-hot sensation of arousal as his tongue danced around my bundle of nerves. A moan fell from his lips as he firmly gripped my ass with both of his hands and began manually grinding my core against his mouth just as he had done before on his thigh. Still feeling the overwhelming after-effects of my first orgasm, I could do nothing besides hold onto his long hair for dear life and repetitively moan out his name.

As my second orgasm started to build up in my lower stomach, Chris used one hand slap my ass; sending a row of shivers down my spine at the sharp pleasure. “Fuck Chris, I-I think I’m gonna cum again.” I cried out. I felt his mouth turn up in a smirk against my heat before his tongue quickened; now doing swift figure-eights against my clit. I felt my legs begin to shake uncontrollably on either side of his head as my second orgasm tore through me; this one being even more intense and lasting much longer than my first.

Chris gently lifted me off of his face and he once again took a moment to admire my dripping wet heat as it continued to pulsate above him. He placed his tongue at my opening and trailed it quickly up to my nerves to collect all of my arousal, and the contact on my already overstimulated cunt caused me to hiss through my teeth and buck my hips away.

“It’s so pretty baby.” He whispered, peering up at me from between my legs and causing my core to once again grow hot with need. Nibbling on my bottom lip, I leaned back slightly to place my hand on his clothed hardness behind me. Running my hand up and down its impressive length slowly, I wordlessly let him know what I really wanted.

Knowing me so well at this point, I didn’t need to do much else before he helped me move off of him. “Ass up angel.” He commanded and I immediately obeyed; pressing my chest into his mattress and arching my back as far as possible to give him the best view I could. I wiggled in anticipation as I heard him unzip his jeans and quickly pull them off. Soon after I felt his warm, swollen tip rub against my folds, and I whimpered softly at his teasing. He continued his agonizingly slow movements, knowing they would drive me crazy, and I knew I couldn’t wait any longer. In my discontentment, I pushed my entrance against his dancing tip and sighed in immediate relief as I felt the first couple inches of his enter me.

My satisfaction didn’t last long though, as Chris quickly pulled his hips back, causing his dick to fall out of me, before leaning forward; wrapping his long fingers around my neck and forcing my head up off the bed. “You’re such a needy slut, trying to fuck yourself with my cock like that.” I rolled my eyes back in pure bliss from the combination of his dirty words and the pressure of his hand around my throat. “You’re gonna stay still and be patient.” He whispered as I felt him use his free hand to resume teasing my cunt.

His tip swirled around my ass, slid across my clit, and finally made it back to my opening where he finally allowed only about one inch to rest in the crest of my hole; as if to test me. I stayed as still as possible, not wanting to prolong the torture for any longer, though it took everything out of me to not sink my shaking hips down again and swallow his shaft greedily.

“That’s a good girl.” He muttered gruffly as he finally pushed his cock slowly into my begging hole, earning a satisfied moan from me as he bottomed out. I felt my walls stretch out to fit his girth, and my eyes began to water at the intense pressure that I would never get used to. He removed his hand from my throat and placed it on the back of my neck while his other hand was gripped to my hip, using enough weight to hold me down as he began to slam into me repeatedly. His pace was slow, but he made sure to hit my sweet spot with each thrust, causing incessant moans to fall from my mouth.

“That feels good, doesn’t it baby?” He asked as his pace began to quicken slightly. Not being able to form a sentence, I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded my head rapidly. “Does Brad make you feel as good as I do?” His voice was gravelly but taunting, and I felt myself clench around him as he spoke. When I didn’t respond to his question, he fisted my hair and pulled my head up forcefully. “Tell me y/n, I wanna know. Does Brad fill you up like I do?” He practically growled in my ear, and I felt the tears in my eyes threaten to spill as another orgasm threatened to wash over me.

I gasped when Chris suddenly spun me around so that I was laying on my back with my head against the headboard. With his cock now just resting on my stomach, I whined at the loss of contact as he stared down at me with taunting eyes. “I asked you a question y/n.” He spoke calmly, but his hand’s firm grip on my jaw told me it was just a facade.

I brought my hand down between our bodies to lightly stroke his cock before reaching up to lightly brush my lips against his. The kiss grew deeper once I tasted myself on his tongue, before I finally pulled away to speak. “No. No one has ever made me feel as good as you do.” I watched closely as Chris’ pupils dilated from my words, and in an instant he plunged his cock back into me; my shocked moan stifled by his lips reattaching to my mouth.

I head fell back in ecstasy as he rolled his hips slowly to meet mine. His eyes were on me and I was jarred by the intimacy of our movements. My shock must have been clear on my face, as he seemed to have a moment of clarity before straightening up, hooking his arms around my legs, and slamming his cock into me hard and fast. His jaw went slack as his eyes gazed down to where our bodies fused into one, and I had to dig my nails into the wooden headboard as I approached my orgasm.

As the room filled with our moans and the wet smacking of our connecting bodies, his rhythm grew sloppy and I knew that he was as close to his orgasm as I was. Tightening my legs around his body to pull him even deeper into me, I wordlessly egged him on just as I felt my third and final orgasm take over my body. My back arched off of the bed and a string of profanities flew out of my mouth as I convulsed around his cock, and it wasn’t long before his breath hitched and his body stiffened; his stiff member shooting cum deep into me.

After we both rode out our highs, Chris collapsed onto my chest. As we both caught our breath — our bodies still connected and gently pulsating against each other — he lightly brushed a finger up and down my arm. I brought my hands to the back of his head and began gently massaging it. We continued to lay there in silence for so long that I began to feel my eyes grow heavy with sleep, before I was suddenly brought back to reality by the sound of his voice.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, his voice muffled by my shoulder. “Pretty good, honestly,” I responded with a laugh, his one-dimensional question throwing me off,“You?” I felt him raise his shoulders into a shrug. “Me too.” He responded simply. Still too tired to move, I closed my eyes again as I relished in the light feeling that always came after really good sex.

“Did you really mean it when you said that no one makes you feel as good as I do?” Chris’ question made me jump, partially because I almost dozed off again but mostly because of its intensity. I stayed silent for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to approach this conversation. It wasn’t the first time that Chris had spoken to me like that when we were sleeping together, in fact he asked me some form of that question nearly every time. It always just seemed like some sort of egotistical dirty-talk thing for him, so I never really thought much of it once it was over. But Chris had never asked whether or not it was true in post-sex conversation before, and it scared me a bit.

Obviously, I couldn’t stay quiet forever, so I decided that the best way to answer would be with honesty. “Yeah. I meant it.” I finally said, and he lifted his head off my should to look at me. “So why are you with him?” I was once again shocked by his words, as our no-strings-attached scenario had been a very mutual decision at the start. Chris made it clear that he had commitment issues and I was already in a relationship with someone else, so it had worked out perfectly for both of us. Or so I thought before Chris rocked the boat with this conversation.

Confused, I gulped quickly and furrowed my brow as I watched his face for any sign of a joke. With a stone-still face and eyes filled with shining apprehension, I quickly realized that he was in fact being serious. “What are you saying, Chris?” I asked timidly, and in response he planted a soft kiss to the tip of my nose. “I don’t know,” He began, “I think that… I don’t know, maybe we’d be pretty good together.” His voice wavered near the end, as if he couldn’t believe that he was actually saying those words.

Trying to keep my expression neutral so that he wouldn’t freak out, I gently rubbed his back. “Chris, our situation was set up to be the way it is for a reason. You don’t want to date and I-” I paused for a moment before Chris finished my sentence. “You’re with Brad, I know. But you said it yourself that he doesn’t make you feel the way that I do. And you have to know as much as I do that our sexual chemistry isn’t just surface level.” He rambled on as I just stared up at him like a deer in headlights.

I would be lying if I said that I hadn’t ever wanted to hear him say these things to me. When I first started hooking up with Chris eight months ago, there had been a part of me that wanted more. Brad and I didn’t have the healthiest relationship, and my first time sleeping with Chris was actually my opportunity to even the score from when Brad had cheated on me a few weeks before then. But the sex had been so good, and Chris and I had gotten along so well that we decided to continue behind Brad’s back. During those first few times I would have absolutely left Brad if Chris gave me any sign that he wanted more than sex, but that was months ago. Things had grown more complicated since then, and I was truly blind-sided by this sudden confession.

“Chris, I brought Brad home to meet my parents.” I whined, growing a bit frustrated at the situation I was now in. “I know you did. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to make a decision right now, or even ever.” He brushed his hand across my cheek as he spoke. “I’ll take whatever part of you that I can get until you’re done with me, no matter what. But, I really, really want more.” My head spun so rapidly at his words that I had to close my eyes. He planted a gentle kiss on my left eyelid, and then my right, before lifting his body off of mine.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I just felt like you needed to know how I’ve been feeling.” I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed, and rubbed my temples in contemplation. I watched his silhouette as he grabbed a towel off his shelf, wiping himself down before passing it to me. There was a opaque hush in the room as we both cleaned up and got dressed, and I felt like I could burst at the tension.

I walked over to his desk and began collecting my notes in silence, packing them back up in my tote bag. “You’re leaving?” I heard Chris’s apprehensive voice from behind me ask as I swung the bag over my shoulder. I checked my phone, it was just after seven. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to focus on studying here right now. I’m sorry Chris.” I mumbled as I headed towards his bedroom door. He stayed silent, but followed me down the hall and towards the stairs. I felt a lump grow in my throat from the guilt of staying silent, and wanted nothing more than to erase the past twenty minutes from my memory. My mind fogged with confusion as I bent over to put my shoes on, and when I straightened up Chris was standing in front of me. He gave me a faux-cheerful smile, clearly not wanting me to feel bad, and I wrapped my arms around his neck in a tight hug.

Focusing on the feeling of his thumbs rubbing circles on my lower back, I stayed in his embrace for what felt like hours. Eventually, I pulled back and grabbed his face in both of my hands.

“Let me just get through my exams. I’ll call you after them all and we can figure this out, okay?” I tilted my head, hopeful that my response was enough for him right now. I felt my body relax as a shy smile crossed his face, and he nodded quickly. “Good luck, smart girl. You’re gonna kill your exams. I’ll see you when they’re all over.” He gave me a quick peck on my lips before I walked through the open front door and stumbled to my car. With shaky hands, I started my engine and began backing out of his driveway, nervous about the future but certain about what I had to do.

I just had to get through Thanksgiving with Brad and my family, survive finals week, dump my boyfriend, and come back here as soon as possible to have a very important conversation with Chris. Nothing too crazy, right?

[myladysapphire]

The Dragon and the Wolf (II)

You had been betrothed to Cregan stark at the start of the war. He was the noble and honourable stark that he was he supported your mother claim without restraint. So much so your mother saw it fit to betroth the two of you. So when disaster strikes and you and your younger brother are the only two survivors, you a shipped of north in your grief, leaving only Cregan to heal your wounds.

word count: 3,384

CW: MDI, 18+, SMUT, loss of viriginity, p in v, oral (f reciving), fluff, slight angst, depression, dependancy. not proofread!

Cregan Strak x Veleryon(strong)!reader

Masterlist | series masterlist | previous part | next part

(smut between the dividers by @zaldritzosrose)

“I have to go to kings landing” you started as you walked into Cregan’s’ solar. It had been a week since the letter announcing your younger brother Viserys return, and you had not stopped asking to go.

“And you shall” Cregan spoke, looking up from his papers, “but after we are wed”

You were set to marry in a matter of days. You understood the need to be wed before leaving and yet waiting to see your brother after believing he was dead was pure torture.

You were desperate to see him, all you wanted was to hug him once more and tell him how sorry you were.

But duty came first.

The lords of the north were growing angsty with how long it was taking for you and Cregan to marry.

The alliance between your houses was sure to benefit the north, and until you were married, said agreements and benefits had yet to happen. And with the winter approaching the lords were growing antsy.

“of course,” you looked down, nervously playing with your fingers. “I am just eager to see my brothers and with the journey set to take a month-“

“I understand, I do, but my hands are tied” he interrupted, looking at you with understanding, “I promise, the day after our wedding we will leave”

“perhaps we could take Silverwing?” you asked hopeful, the journey would take around a day, if they rode fast, at the most three days.

“i- im not-“

“I promise its safe, and you have ridden Silverwing before.” He had, on your first visit to Winterfell. He had been hesitant then too, but you had somehow manged to drag him onto Silverwing and flown around the north for hours.

“aye, but this would be different” he said rubbing the back of his neck, “your brother has sent a letter…requesting me to become hand of the king”

you smiled “so we would be staying?”

“yes…this also means I will be having to take a large number of my household, and… though Sara shall act as the lady of Winterfell in my stead, once you are with child you will…have to return…without me, and take over the ruling of Winterfell until I am released as hand”

you were at a loss for words, this past moon you had felt lighter, the days of rotting in your bed, finding no reason to get up, having no energy to eat.

The empty hollowness you had felt for months on end has been filled, all with the help of Cregan. And now to find out that the second you got pregnant you would be shipped of and most likely never be able to return to your brothers.

You knew that there should always be a stark in Winterfell, and that their children would rule it one day, but you did not want to live in Winterfell without him.

You relied on him, in a near unhealthy way. You were often with him, in the library, or in his solar. You had already taken on the duties as Lady of Winterfell. You had liked having responsibilities, found you were good at it. But the main part of it that you liked, was that it was all with him. The friendship you once had had returned, though with trepidation as you had a first still felt empty.

You still felt the loss of your twin. Your other half. Without him you feared you would always feel incomplete, and yet Cregan had somehow manged to fill the void the death of your twin, of Luke and Joffrey.

You felt like you could so easily love him, but now.  Now a part of you resented putting this off for so long, only to know discover that you time with Cregan may be a few months or stolen moments every year.

Your mind went back to last week.

You had spent the day in each other’s company, sat in his solar as he answered letters, and you had read.

The comfort you had found with him was like no other, sitting in each other’s company. Not talking for hours and yet you felt content.

And now to learn that you may not feel the presence of him for moons on end, perhaps even years.

“I would like to stay with you, stay in kings landing” you spoke in determination, “I will not become the wife of an absent husband”

“I would not be-“

“you would sent me a thousand leagues away! So yes that makes you an absent husband!” you shook your head “I-I understand how important being hand is, how much Egg looks up to you, and I will not ask you to refuse the offer but…but I need you.” you said tearily, “without you I will…I will only find that hollowness I felt for moons, the sadness will return without you to…to comfort me, to hold me and cherish me. I cannot be alone, I may rely on you a little too much, but I cannot bear to…” you were crying now, you knew in some sense it was manipulating, but everything you had said was true. The sadness would return, he offered you the perfect reasons for you to find a purpose, a reason to wake up in the morning.

A part of you hated that you relied on another for a purpose, but all the things that once filled you with joy, with purpose, now filled you with sadness and hate.

And now, Cregan had been the thing you found some sense of joy in, and you were excited to marry him, but now part of you dreaded it, not wanting to part from him.

He stood up from his desk moving around to you and pulling you into a hug.

Cregan was a very affection person, always holding your hand or pulling you into a hug away from prying eyes.

“Cregan” you mumbled into his chest, as he stroked your hair.

“i will not send you away if you truly do not want to, but…I know the pain kings landing gives you and I do not want to ask you to spend years in the place of your torment” he said, pulling back from you slight to hold your face, “but… the babe must be born and raised here”

“I know, and I love that you do not wish for me to live in the place of such pain for me, but before… before the-the war…I loved the red keep and…I love my brothers enough to stay there” you mumbled, “If you promise not to stay the hand forever then I shall go to Winterfell if I fall pregnant during your time as hand, but i- I do not wish to be apart form you for too long”

He smiled as you said that, “how about we talk about this when the times comes, hmm?” you smiled, reaching up to place a small kiss on his cheek.

You nodded your head, stepping back from him. “i-I hope you know that I do…that I” you were stumbling over your words unsure of what to say to him. You had somehow over the course of the past moon, returned to your shy nervous self, blushing in his presence, and stumbling over your words.

“yes?” he asked smiling curiously.

“I… I feel a lot better lately, and it is thanks to you…I truly care for you and I think that I might…” you looked down nervously, unsure of if you should tell him your feelings.

“I can tell” he said before you could finish your sentence “you seem to much happier, the light in your eyes has returned and i…I want you to know that I feel the same” he blushed, “I look forward to marry you, and I hope you do also”

You nodded smiling, as you stepped back and you both continued going about your own duties, enjoying the solace of each others company.

The day of the wedding had finally come. The lords of the north had all gathered at Winterfell. The halls now full of bustling bodies, the maids running about nonstop to fulfil all their duties.

You and Cregan had been forced to spend the last day and night apart, with the north believing it to be bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other the day before the wedding.

You had instead spent the day with Sara.

“I had hoped my sisters would make it” you said sadly as she laced up your dress.

“we still have time, they may yet arrive” she said, trying to build your spirits.

Your grandsire Corlys had arrived the day before, fulfilling his long-term promise to walk you down the aisle.

You had always been close to your grandsire, with him always saying how similar to his wife you had looked.

“granddaughter” you heard him say as he had entered the room, smiling as he saw the sea horses embroidered on your dress.

“grandsire” you smiled in greeting, moving over to kiss his cheek. “do you have any news on Balea or Rhaena?” you asked hopeful.

He smiled slyly, before moving aside and allowing Balea and Rhaena to walk into the room.

“you’re here!” you had said in disbelief..

“of course, we wouldn’t miss your wedding” Baele spoke pulling you into a hug.

They had both been married themselves recently, Baela to Alyn, Corlys newly appointed heir, and Rhaena to Corwyn Corbray.

“are your husbands here?”

“yes, there both with Cregan I believe,” Rhaena said, moving to take over from Sara as she finished lacing up your dress.

“you look beautiful, sister” Balea said, smiling kindly. “Are you nervous?”

“should I be?” you asked nervously.

“do you care for him?”

You looked over at sara, as she gave you a teasing smile. She knew of your feelings for Cregan, and it seemed from that look alone your sisters to know knew.

“yes”

“then you have nothing to worry about”

“what of the…”you looked over at Corlys to see his looking slightly uncomfortable, “the night” you whispered.

“you have been betrothed for years and you have never…?”

“no!” the question shocked you, your mother had always been insistent on you waiting for marriage, saying she didn’t want you to make the same choice she had.

“never even kissed?” Sara asked shocked.

You shook you head.

“no! I’ve only ever kissed….” You wouldn’t say his name, it hurt to much. The betrayal you had felt, how you had almost given him everything. Though you were glad you never had with Aemond, for you loved Cregan. At least you think you do. “ahh” Balea almost flinched.

“it hurts the first time, but after…it can be very nice” Sara spoke, whispering.

“and Cregan is a good man, he likes you…perhaps even loves you. He will be gentle” she said, though grimacing slightly at talking about her brother in such a way.

Corlys coughed awkwardly, moving to interrupt their whispered conversation.  “it is almost time” he said, softly moving towards you.

“we better hurry up then” you said, motioning for Sara to start your hair.

Balea, Rhaena and sara had all left once you were fully ready. Leaving you and Corlsys alone.

“you are a vision” he said, as you took his arm. You started to walk through the halls of Winterfell.

you wore a dress as white as snow. With a full skirt and long flowy sleeves covered in a lace pattern.

You wore you hair down, bar tow braids at the top your head that joined at the back. Though your hair was hidden behind a lace veil, lace that matched your sleeves. Your face was covered, though it wouldn’t be for long, as you soon approached the gods woods.

“who comes before the old gods this day?” asked the northern lord officiating the wedding, as you entered the gods woods.

“y/n, of house Veleryon, She comes to beg the blessing of the Gods. Who comes to claim her?”

“Creagan, of house stark, lord of Winterfell and Warden of the north. Who gives her?”

“Corlsy, of house Veleryon, lord of the tides and of Driftmark, her grandsire.”

“princess Y/n, do you take this man?”

“I take this man”

“lord Cregan, do you take this woman”

“I take this woman”

“Then I pronounce you man and wife, before the old gods and the new”

You smiled at him, before reaching up and taking his lips in yours. The kiss was short and short, but caused you both to blush as cheers resounded throughout the wedding guests.

“I believe it is time for a feast!” Cregan announced as the lords and ladies cheered in response.

The feast was grand, though much different from the ones you had grown up with. It was loud and bawdy, with the lords all drunk and even singing northern tunes.

You and Cregan had kept to yourself, eating your food and talking between one another.

You had been enjoying yourself, enjoying the first few hours of marital bliss.

And then the bedding was called.

You had forgotten about the tradition.

The bride and groom escorted to their chamber. The groom by the woman, there clothes pulled of them, the bride escorted by the men, often groped and fully naked by the time they reached their chambers.

Feared courses through you as lord Bolton declared it time for a bedding.

“there will be no bedding!” Cregan boomed, as the men started to approach you.

The room seemed to flinch as the anger in his tone, “my wife will be touched by no one bar me! Anyone who lays a hand on her against her will, will have it cut off!”

You looked at him with shock, it was, grateful he was doing the right thing and saving you from a night of groping.

He reached his hand out to you as he guided you to your now shared chambers alone.

She had never been in Cregan’s chambers before, they were large. Though not as big as her chambers had been on Dragonstone. The room was mostly bare, having been mostly packed up for their journey tomorrow. It was warm, much warmer than her room in the tower had been. With a blazing fire, and dozens of blankets. The walls were filled with tapestries and the floor with rugs. Not a single wall or part of the floor was bare, allowing the room to be encased in more warmth.

“wife” Cregan spoke, capturing your attention. He moved towards you, his eyes heated as he gazed at you.

“Husband” you breathed back as he now stood before you.

He reached up to caress your face, his lips nearing yours. You shared a breath, before you both pounced.

Your lips modelled together in a heated, passionate kiss. He pushed you on the bed, your body bouncing from impact, he quickly moved over you, connecting your lips once more as he started to take of his and your clothes, never once breaking the kiss.

“gods” he moaned at the sight of your bare tits. He kissed your lips quickly before moving down to your breasts and roughly taking them into his mouth.

You moaned as he licked and sucked at your tits. He alternated between the two, savouring in your moans and whimpers.

Your gripped his hair, tugging softly at each flick of his tongue.

“you lick that?” he asked teasingly, as he let go of your nipple with a pop.

You nodded your head, whimpering slightly at him stopping.

He chuckled, “good” he said before, moving off the bed and resting on his knees “then you’ll love this” he said, as he slid the rest of your dress of you, and buried himself between your thighs.

He teasingly licked your folds, causing you to whimper.

Your gripped his hair, grinding your thighs into his face, trying to get him to lick you more.

He chuckled at your actions, before moving to grip your thighs and pull them towards his face. He buried his tongue inside of you, savouring your taste as he moved to lick your clit.

“Cregan!” you moaned as you pulled on his hair. 

The pleasure was nothing like you had experienced before. It was overwhelming, filling your senses as he continued to lick at your clit, and slowly bring his fingers to your entrance.

He groaned as his fingers entered your, relishing in the tightness of your cunt. Gods” he moaned against your clit.

He continued to lap at your slit, tasting you as if you were his last meal.

You felt your peak fast approaching, your hands gripping and tugging his hair harder, your legs wrapping around his head in away you were sure would choke him.

“Cregan!” you screamed as your peak finally hit you.

He continued his actions, riding out your peak before finally moving himself from between your thighs.

He wiped his mouth on the bed before diving back in to kiss you.

He slowly moved you to the centre of the bed, his cock positioning itself between your thigs.

“can i?” he breathed against your lips.

“yes.” You moaned as he entered you.

You felt a wave of discomfort as he stretched you out, a slight burn at the sheer size of his cock.

He slowly rocked his hips into yours, allowing you time to adjust, before you reached up and pulled him into another kiss, motioning him to speed up.

He started thrusting into you at a faster pace. Your legs wrapping around his hips and his pace became faster and faster.

He groaned into your neck, as your cunt tightened around him.

Your second peak fast approaching.

“I’m going to cum” he moaned into you, as your cunt fluttered around his cock, your second peak taking.

Your hands scratched his back as you peaked, before collapsing backwards, as he started building up to his own peak.

His thrusts became hard and fast as he finally reached his own peak, his seed filling you as he rode out his orgasm.

“gods” he moaned, collapsing on the bed, pulling you in and holding you to him.

he kissed your shoulder, stroking your hair as you both slipped off into sleep, though you both got little sleep that night.

The next day you were awoken to maids barging in and readying the remained of Cregan’s belongings. It was dawn, and you were both tired from the nights events.

 The maids had dressed you both quickly, pushing your breakfast on the table and urging you both to eat.

Cregan laughed at your bewildered face as they all rushed you both.

“we were meant to leave a dawn” he chuckled, as your maid tugged your hair, attempting to braid it, as you ate.

“then why weren’t we woken earlier?”

He sent you a look, showing exactly why they hadn’t.

“oh…must we leave so soon?” you said as you food was taken of the table before you had even finished.

“you insisted we did.”

“I-“ you looked at his smug face as your tea was taken out of your hand mid sip. “I take it back, I miss the bed!”

“you can rest in carriage” he said, as he reached for your hand.

You made your way to the courtyard, the household lined up to say their farewells, though most were accompanying you.

Balea, Rhaena, stood by the carriage, both looking as tired as you felt.

“it is far too early for this” Rhaena groaned as you approached the carriage.

Balea laughed “I cant imagine how you feel” she said, talking at you, “how much sleep did you get last night?” she teased.

You laughed “shut up!”

Sara approached you, her eyes teary, “I’ll miss you” she said pulling you into a hug.

“and I, you” you kissed her check, pulling back.

“we are leaving Winterfell in capable hands” she heard Cregan say, announcing Sara as his regent.

“don’t be gone for too long” she whispered “I was not made to rule the north” she joked, pulling away from you as you were all motioned to enter the carriage.  

Cregan walked up to the carriage window, pulling you into a kiss.

“I shall join you soon” he promised, before mounting his horse and leading the procession to kings landing.

next part

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[mangosrar]

call it closure

chris sturniolo x fem reader.

long asf. smut. filth. sexy chris 😛😛😛

your relationship with chris had always been complicated, a will they wont they sort of thing. you both loved eachother, that was obvious, yes you were his, but he wasnt yours.

you both decided friends with benefits would be the best option. well for him. part of you agreed just so you could play pretend, trick yourself into thinking you had him, and you knew nothing lasted forever, but he fooled you for a while.

everyone knew chris had major commitment issues, but you just didnt understand. he treated you like the only girl ever behind closed doors, but the second anyone else was around, he would drop your hand.

you thought this would be fine, you had him, you had him to yourself and that was all that mattered. until you realised you didnt. he had you eating out the palm of his hand on complete puppet strings. he said jump and you asked how high. you had fallen down a dangerous rabbit hole, and the only way to escape was to drive a knife straight through the heart of whatever it was you and chris had.

flashback.

the house was the quietest youve ever heard it. matt and nick were out so chris had invited you over to smoke with him but you were pretty sure he had over done it because he had gone completely none verbal and just started staring at the wall. he was slouched down on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table and his hands in his lap. you were too, slouched down on the couch with your knees up. he took a deep breath in before breaking the silence.

"do you think were soulmates in every universe?" he said. not moving his eyes from the spot on the wall. you could have cried right there and then, feeling a deep aching pain bloom in your chest from his words. you hated how he was so absentmindedly killing you.

there was an abundant pause and a thick tension gathered in the air, you wondered if chris could feel it too.

"are we even soulmates in this one?" your voice was so quiet and soft you weren’t sure he even heard you, until he let out a frustrated sigh before bringing a hand up to his face and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"come on y/n dont start this shit now" his voice was harsh. he kept his eyes closed waiting for you to drop it, like you did every time, but you werent sure how much longer you could carry on like this.

"what chris? im being serious, i dont even know what this is anymore, you treat me like im everything one minute and then act like you couldnt care less is i fucking live or die the next!" you let your feet fall and land on the floor as you sat up and turned to face him.

"you know thats not true" he took his hand off of his face and let it rest in the air. his eyes still closed.

"do i?" your voice was quiet and broken. this was draining. the heavy presence of the fact he wasnt truly yours was sucking the life out of you. he opened his eyes and looked at you.

"we both agreed to do this y/n you cant put all of this on me" he sat up and rested his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together and staring at you intensely.

there was a pregnant pause, he was waiting for you to defend yourself, or at least try to argue his point, but you couldnt, he was right, to a certain degree. yes you had both agreed to friends with benefits but you hadnt agreed to being hopelessly in love with someone who only reciprocated those feelings in the dark.

you dropped yours eyes, tearing them away from his and letting them linger on his hands before taking a deep breath in.

"i cant carry on like this, its killing me." he tried to cut you off momentarily but you held a hand up, stopping him. "i wont beg for you to love me anymore chris, because i know that somewhere deep down you really do". he said nothing as he stared at you. he was completely speechless. he felt that pain, just like you did, deep in his bones. you searched his eyes for something, anything, a sign that you were lying and just embarrassing yourself, a sign that told you he wasnt at all affected by this, any sense of doubt. you found nothing.

and with that, you left. you got up and walked out of that house, leaving chris to sit there and regret every singe life decision that had got him to this point, but he didnt come after you, he didnt try to stop you, he didnt try to change your mind and thats what stung the most.

end of flashback.

"im going to pack the car so everyone bring your bags down!" chris shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

you pulled the zipper closed on the bag before taking your phone off the bed and making your way downstairs, nick following close behind you. you didnt even look up at chris. you couldnt, you wanted to take complete advantage of the short amount of time you had left to distance yourself from him as much as possible.

it had been about 3 months since you walked out on chris, you hadnt spoke at all, he hadnt tried and neither had you, both of you just accepting fate and trying to move on, but considering the fact his two brothers were your best friends and you practically lived at their house with how much you were over, it was proving to be quite the challenge.

you just politely dropped your bag at his feet and scurried off into the kitchen, bumping into matt.

"you want me to drive the first or second half?" you asked. considering you were the only two that could drive, you insisted you would split it.

"i dont mind but, you sure you wanna have to sit next to chris for that long?" he lowered his voice slightly, his eyes darting to chris who was grabbing all the bags behind you, as his face scrunched up slightly. you glanced over your shoulder at him briefly before crossing your arms over your chest and shrugging.

"its okay, he wont talk to me anyways" you let out a pathetic laugh through your nose, trying to make the situation a little light hearted and a lot less embarrassing. matt obviously picked up on this but was kind enough to ignore it.

"ill do the first half, he will probably fall asleep by the time we swap anyway" he patted your shoulder and you nodded as he made a bee line for the front door.

matt and nick were probably the worst part of this whole situation. they were stuck smack bang in the middle of this pandemonium. of course they both knew what had happened but they gave you the courtesy of separating you and chris with you and them and decided to move past it. you and chris were both aware of how awkward it was for them, and thankfully, he was mature enough to not kick up a big fuss every time you were around. you hadnt spoken at all since that night, only the odd flash of a smile sent each others way when you crossed paths and that was rare, so when nick invited you on their weekend get away to a cabin in the middle of no where with them, you were obviously delighted.

the drive was excruciating. if it wasnt matt and nick arguing it was chriss shitty trap music playing or the gps redirecting you. while you were driving up front chris hadnt even spared you a glance, he didnt utter a single word to you the whole time.

part of you was grateful but another part of you wished he would have, selfishly, so you could just get over it and enjoy your weekend, but nothing was enjoyable anymore as long as chris was around.

"i call the double bed" chris yelled, running through the house.

"y/n theres a room with two singles, wanna bunk with me?" nick asked, slipping his backpack off of his shoulders.

"sure" you nodded, before making your way to the room, setting your bag down and plopping on the bed with a huff, matt trailed in behind you, with your suitcase.

"come on grouchy pants, were gonna have funnnn" he said swatting your leg that was dangling off the edge of the bed.

"i need at least 3-5 business days to recover from being within a 1 mile radius of chris for longer than 30 seconds" you let out a breath as you looked over to matt who was leaning on the door frame with his arms folded over his chest.

"that bad?" he raised his eyebrows in question.

"that bad" you replied flatley. matt just chuckled and motioned for you to follow him downstairs. you huffed and sat up before stomping down the hall after him.

in all fairness, it hadnt been that bad. the 4 of you had eaten, laughed played games and just had fun, regardless of the hanging tension wedged between you and chris. it was now 11:30 and everyone was asleep, but your mind just couldnt switch off, tossing and turning, checking the clock every 5 minutes. you huffed and looked over at nick who was out like a light. hot tub it is.

"i dont know madi, it just hurts" you spoke.

"has he even tried to talk to you?" she spoke over the phone.

"not one single word, and the thing is i dont know if i wanna strangle him or just kiss his fucking face off" you huffed, readjusting your arms so they were resting on the edge of the hot tub with your phone in your hands, the rest of your body being engulfed by the warm blanket of water.

"im worried my advice is gonna get you in trouble" she laughed, making you blow out a huff of air through your nose.

"it doesnt matter, i cant bring myself to do either" you and madi spoke for a little while longer beofre you wrapped the call up, put your phone on the ground and let your body sink lower into the steaming water until it was resting on your collar bones.

you sighed and let your head fall back, this is what you needed, a relaxing moment, the quiet calm of the night lulling your brain into a state of tranquillity, no matt and nick arguing, no chr-

"cant sleep?" you almost had a heart attack, your body jolted forward as your eyes darted around searching for the body that owned the voice.

"jesus, chris you scared the life out of me, how long have you been sitting there?" your hand rested on your chest, feeling the rapid beat of your heart from being startled. he just stared at you with drooped eyes from his position on the patio chair, opposite the hot tub.

"long enough" he said. his face didnt show any sign of emotion. his stoic expression sending an un willing chill up your spine, despite the warmth of the chlorine filled bubbles around you. chris leaned forward and you swallowed thickly.

"did you mean what you said?" his voice was alot softer and quieter than before, like he was worried you would break at the slight tone of his voice. you couldnt bring your self to look back up at him, he would eat you alive. you paused momentarily, weighing out your options of whether you even wanted to entertain this conversation with him or just cut him dead.

there was no way in hell that you were letting yourself fall back down this slippery slope again, so just like before, you abruptly got up and out of the hot tub, reached for your towel and made your way back inside, without sparing him a glance, keeping your eyes trained to the floor, leaving chris once again, to watch you walk away from him, and all the same, he didnt try to stop you.

"nick open the fucking door!" you whispered loudly. no reply.

resting your forehead against the door, you mentally cursed yourself for even going in the hot tub. you should have stayed in bed and this whole situation would be avoided, chris too. speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"what are you doing?" he stood just beside you with a questioning look on his face.

you huffed, pulling your head back and looking up at him.

"nick locked the door" you sounded so defeated it made his heart beat a little harder in his chest.

"you can come sleep with me, ill take the floor i dont mind" he motioned his head towards his designated bedroom while keeping his eyes trained to yours.

you dropped your head and sighed. how was this happening. you had spent months walking on egg shells, doing everything in your power to stay as far away from him as you could, and now you were forcing him out of his bed so you could sleep there.

he stared at you waiting for your answer. he knew you had no other option, you couldnt sleep on the couch with matt and you were also stood in a wet bikini and a wet towel. be realistic y/n.

"sure, okay" you looked up at him, and his eyes gained a fraction of hope momentarily, before he nodded and started leading you to his room. this was going to be a long night.

"um, i dont.." you paused and cleared your throat. "i dont have anything to wear" chris looked up at you from his position on the bed before his eyes trailed over your body, stood in a towel in the bathroom doorway shifting on your feet, looking like a nervous little girl.

you cleared your throat again, snapping chris out of whatever trance he had gotten into. he stood up and walked over to the dresser at the end of the bed, pulling out one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers, before padding over to you and handing them over.

"thanks" you smiled.

"no problem" he replied, watching you turn back into the bathroom, slamming the door in his face and leaning against it, you werent sure if this was going to work, your left control was wearing thin.

how had it ended up like this? you tried so hard to have some composure but you couldnt help it, he was shirtless, clad in grey sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips, basically inviting you to jump straight on him.

his lips trailed down your neck as his hands ran up your sides, relishing in the feeling of your skin against his after 3 months of complete torture without it.

he brought his lips back up to meet your in a hot and heavy kiss, tongues dancing together, teeth clashing, the works. frantic hands gripping his hair relentlessly, pulling groans from his mouth.

chris brought his hands to the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head and separating the kiss, before diving back in and sucking purple marks into your neck and collarbones, earning breathy whines from you.

there was a moment of hesitation from you as he trailed his hands lower fiddling with the waistband of his boxers that you were wearing.

"chris wait" he halted his movements and brought his face up to yours. god he was making this so hard. he was breathing heavy and his hair was messy from your curious hands, his chain dangling between the two of you.

"we shouldnt be doing this" you shook your head, eyes wide.

"why y/n?" he asked breathlessly.

"because chris" you whined. he knew exactly why. all your hard work of keeping your distance from him had just been thrown into a sweltering ball of gasoline and chris had completely set it alight.

"call it closure" he whispered. he could see the inner turmoil you were facing. you knew you were about to give in, and judging by the smirk growing on his face, so did he.

you pulled his face down to yours again and he hummed into the kiss, the feeling of your lips on his being something no drug could ever amount to.

he continues his trail down your body, leaving wet hot kisses in his trail, keeping his eyes glued to yours. he was dragging this out, savouring the blaze of your touch.

"chris please" you whined.

"what baby? tell me what you want" he spoke in-between leaving kisses on your stomach and thighs.

"just fuck me" that was all he needed to hear before he was yanking your shorts down and doing the same with his own pants and boxers. he was on his knees between your legs, pumping his cock in his hand, eyes wondering over your frame hungrily.

"so pretty" he muttered before brining his lips to yours again and pushing his cock into you, giving you no time to adjust to his size before he was pulling all the way out and slamming back in over and over again. you were already a mess underneath him, mewling and moaning like you would never get the chance again.

"missed you so much baby, so fucking much" chris grunted in-between thrusts before peppering light kisses down the side of your face and neck. you just whined at his words.

his pace was relentless and your hands flew to his back, dragging your nails down his skin, pulling a low "fuck" from chriss lips.

"so good to me y/n, cant believe i ever fucking let you go" he said as he stilled his thrusts and pulled back, sitting on his knees and lifting your legs up to rest on his shoulders, and continuing his thrusts.

you let out a lewd moan at the new angle, hands gripping the bed sheets as chris arms wrapped around your thighs, drilling his cock into you so deep, hitting that spot inside that made you see stars.

"oh fuck chris dont stop" you mewled, letting your head fall back.

his pace became impossibly faster, every single thrust knocking the air out of your lungs.

you were pulsating around him, your high getting closer and closer. chris dropped your legs and doubled over, shoving his head into the crook of your neck with a deep groan.

"fuck y/n i can feel you squeezing me" his words were strangled and breathless. he brought his lips to yours once again but the pleasure was so good and you were so close you couldnt keep up with him, chris noticed this and smirked against your mouth.

"come on sweet girl, give it to me, come all over my cock" he said as he brought his thumb down to rub hard, fast circles over your puffy clit making your back arch even further off the bed.

you let out a strangled moan of his name before being launched into a pool of complete, white ecstasy, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. his thrusts did not falter as he sat up watching you ride out your orgasm with hooded eyes.

“you look so pretty like this ma”

he wasnt far behind, his hips stuttered before he let out a loud whine, followed by a hiss and a string of curses, painting your insides white, sending a few more thrusts, filling you to the brim, before collapsing on top of you.

the two of you were sweating and panting, both completely silent, just relishing in the feeling of the post sex haze. your hands come up to his hair and you ran your fingers through it soothingly.

he planted a soft kiss to your collarbone before bringing his face up so he was eye level with you. his eyes trailed over your face, creating a memory and he took a deep breath in before speaking.

"i do love you”.

_______________________________________________

YALL😛😛😛😛

sorry for starving you guys i’ve just been mad busy but i’m back !!!! love u. bee ❤️‍🩹

taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @chrisenthusiast @urmyslxt @soursturniolo @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @mattslolita @flowerxbunnie @lovingsturniolo @its-jennarose @ermdontmindthisaccount @secret-sturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @justaslvttygirl @urfavstromboli @chrisfavoritepepsi @kenleighsbl0g @udonotknowme

[fudanshidoublevision]

It's pretty funny how the three love interests have something in common 。。。。besides their obvious interest (Haley) and obsession (Double Vision and Ray) towards the MC of the game.

The three of them smoke, which might be something banal for some but I like to hold into small details like these and make up stuff.

Haley takes smoke breaks, Ray smokes when he is in your apartment and Double isn't shown smoking in the game but he does on his birthday illustration. ᶘ ⊙ᴥ⊙ᶅ

Not sure if that was on purpose or just a coincidence but either way, it makes sense to me.

Ray, especially, the fact that he smokes.

Considering that he spent most of his pre-teen and teenage years until he was 18 years old living with Steel Sheriff and remember, Steel Sheriff is a shitty person and a BAD influence, so it makes sense that maaaybe that bad habit was influenced by that horrendous man and Ray took a hold into it.

Ray strikes me as the type of guy who's addicted to nicotine and honestly? I don't blame him at all, that man went through so much shit since he came out of his mother's womb so if he EVEN chain smokes, it wouldn't faze me at all.

Not sure if Ray smokes only at night but someone dear to me does and well, the only time of the day Ray is completely free of any duty is at night, as far as i've seen? Also, smoking at night sounds...right to me, he takes notice of you and opens the window so he isn't stinking up your place...which is surprising, the only smokers I know always smoke in secluded places and I can smell it all the way into my bedroom. ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ

I'm aware that nicotine has some benefits but we are talking about Ray, who is freaking Binary Star, HIS ABILITY???? EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. /j This man does not GAF about the side effects or the benefits of smoking. Out of the three I believe that Ray is free from any illnesses or any type of side effects, heh.

Now, Haley, they are shapeshifter...? Correct me if I'm wrong, im an amateur on the Haley department. Crazy idea but imagine if they smoke on their cat form, holy fucking shit. Their brain, gastrointestinal system or even their heart is not safe though...but I believe that they can easily shift into any animal with the strongest lungs ever and live another day without being worried about any complications? Huh, this sounds batshit crazy so I think I'll stop writing this part.

Like Ray, Haley seems to smoke as a sedative, what if they smoke herbal cigarettes? Also, I believe that they can easily quit if they want to (heh, now that I'm reading this part i forgot that this is something most addicts say, LOL.) , which I beg to differ when it comes to Ray or Double, I don't judge them, just an observation I guess.

At last, my favorite character and current obsession, Double Vision.

Cigarette smoking, yeah but what about vaping? He looks like the type of guy that would vape or maybe is it too tame for him? Maybe he wants something stronger. Wait, does anyone really need a reason to smoke? ಠಿ_ಠ

People say that vaping is less hazardous than smoking but to me? It's the same thing, most e-cigarretes contain nicotine but yeah, you are inhaling smoke from burning tobacco when you smoke a cigarette. I don't know anything about vaping. It's pretty popular in my country though, never tried it but my friend told me that vaping feels and tastes different from smoking, so I believe their judgement.

Forgive my yapping, like I was saying! He isn't safe from the lung cancer, at all. Yeah, this man can do sick tricks with the smoke, for sure... I'm not going to name any because I might be wrong but you name it and maaaaaaaybe he would be capable of doing it, if you can do something for him back, of course. Oh, I'm 100% sure this freakazoid throws the smoke in your face on purpose, I find that hot actually...if only my nostrils and eyes could say the same about that. If he does that, I'll be coughing like I have asthma until I die.

Hmm, I can't think of when he started smoking...maybe on his teenage years? After all, I think it was at that time that he started to get along with shady people and ugly business. The power of influence and their ambience might be a big factor of this habit on these guys. Heavy on Ray.

That's everything I could think of. For now.

If you are a real person, don't smoke, I guess?. Do whatever you want BUT DON'T BE TELLING ANYONE THAT TUMBLR USER fudanshidoublevision encouraged you to do it.

If you are fictional character, yassss smoke all you want beautiful inexistent individual, you don't exist after all!

GODDAMN!!!!!! I MIGHT START SMOKING RIGHT NOW IF I CAN LOOK THIS HOT 😍😍😍 GIVE ME THAT CIGARETTE 🔥🔥🔥

[bwabys-scenarios]

Fixer Upper

Part 29.5

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

part 29

part 30

A/N: I completely forgot to include the scene where Kurapika gives reader her gift, so I decided to do that and a little extra!

warnings: pussy eating, soft sex, cockwarming, semi-public sex, angst, Kurapika gets jealous really easy😭😭

taglist: @fabitheraven @tsukilover11 @ashdownunderscorebeloved @lemonslut @homeinmydreams @superweeniehutjrsblog @bugmomwrites @heartsforseo @lixiawinter @altaircc @itszenava @fiightforlovee @mimi-sanisanidiot @monainanuttshell @wow-im-gay @whorermoviestar @lightshowerrr @mama-m1na @nenggie @wicked-binch @jamayah @themanicwriter01

If you’d like to be ADDED to the taglist, please comment a red heart ❤️, make sure you’re able to be tagged/mentioned, and have your age in your bio(IF YOU ARE ALREADY ON THE TAGLIST, YOU DON’T NEED TO ASK TO BE ADDED AGAIN!!)

After watching movies with the group on Christmas night, Kurapika and (Name) headed upstairs. The blonde had been much too nervous to give her his gift in front of everyone, so instead he waited until they went to bed. He brought her to his room, looking at her shyly.

“(Name), I want to give you your gift now…” he said, a soft smile on his face. (Name) looked up as he sat her on his bed, watching as he reached for the top shelf on his closet.

He grabbed a black bag, his cheeks turning pink as he pulled out a little black box. “Here…”

Kurapika handed the box to her, his eyes soft. She gave him a glance before she opened. “Oh, Pika…”

Inside the box was a golden ring, with a ruby and sapphire shaped into a heart. It glittered and gleamed, making her jaw drop. “Kurapika Kurta, how expensive was this? You didn’t have t-“

Kurapika silenced her by taking the box, pulling the ring out. “I did have to. This ring represents us and our care for each other. You’re important to me, more important than you could ever know. I… want to be with you.”

She teared up, offering him her hand. Kurapika smiled, placing it on her pointer finger. “One day, I hope to put one on your ring finger and make you my wife. But for now, I hope that this is enough…”

Although the ring came with no guarantee of a label on their relationship, she knew for sure it was more than just friendship or friends with benefits.

“Pika… this isn’t a proposal, is it?”

Although (Name) loved him, they hadn’t even started dating or established a label to what they were, she wasn’t ready to marry him.

A proposal had been the plan his inebriated mind had thought of when he bought the ring at the mall nearly a month ago, but thankfully Kurapika came up with something different. Kurapika was sure he’d marry her one day, but he knew she might be scared off if he acted too quickly.

“N-no, it’s not a proposal, it’s just… a promise. I’m promising you that I’ll only have eyes for you, that you will be my one and only…”

She tried to smile, but could only stare at him. “… your one and only? And by that, you mean..?”

“Th-the one I want…”

He was getting nervous, and she didn’t want to push him. If he wasn’t ready to put a label on their love, that was okay for now. (Name) wasn’t very patient after all, but for him she was trying. “Okay, Kurapika. I’ll hold you to that.”

The ring was truly beautiful, and it made her feel a little nervous to think about how much it cost. She also wondered how exactly he knew her ring size, because it fit her perfectly.

“Do you… like it?”

He was blushing intensely, his face almost as red as his scarlet eyes. (Name) couldn’t help but giggle, cupping his cheeks. “I love it. It’s an amazing Christmas present.”

She peppered his cheeks in kisses, causing the blonde to melt with her touch. He was putty in her hands, she could kiss and touch him in whatever way she wanted, and it would make him beg for more.

“I love you, Kurapika…”

His cheek nestled against the palm of her hand as he took in all of her affection and love, letting her play with his hair. She only paused for a moment when he didn’t say it back, still feeling a little disappointed.

Kurapika made it up to her by laying his head on her lap, kissing her thighs. “Wanna… make you feel good. Please.”

It was a little surprising just how needy he’d gotten for her pussy with just having sex twice. Kurapika was already tugging her pants off, looking up with those hazy scarlet eyes. “Please?”

She giggled, opening her legs a little so he could see the wet spot forming on her panties. “Is this what you wanted, Pika?”

He breath hitched, and he could only lean forward to press a kiss on her panties, gently lapping at the juices seeping through. She whined softly as he opened her thighs further, sucking at her clit through the thin fabric of her underwear.

“Mmph, Pika, y-you can take them off-“

He wasn’t listening, his eyes closed as he tongued her hole through her panties, holding onto her thighs as he soaked them with his spit.

She whimpered, lightly tugging at his hair. It felt good, but with her hips bucking and the way she was wiggling to try and get his tongue inside of her, it was clear to Kurapika that his angel needed him.

He pushed her panties to the side, too needy to tug them off completely. His immediately went to her clit, giving it lick after lick before latching on, suckling softly as his fingers pumped in and out of her.

Kurapika could spend all day between her legs if she let him. The taste of her pussy was something he could become addicted to if he wasn’t careful.

Nearly an hour passed by, orgasm after orgasm being drawn out of her pretty pussy until she was pushing at his head. “T-too much!”

He glanced up at her for a second, rubbing soothing circles into her thighs. “Shh, you can take one more, be a good girl and behave for me.”

Kurapika sucked on the fat of her thighs, his fingers pumping in and out of her wet cunt. “Almost there, just a little more angel.”

And with one final orgasm, he finally pulled his head away from her pussy, giving her thighs soft kisses. “There, that wasn’t so bad was it? Such a good girl for me…”

She was a panting mess, her thighs sticky and her forehead covered in sweat. He felt giddy, proud that he could make her feel so good.

“Let’s get some rest, (Name).”

He pulled her into his arms, tucking them both away under his comforter for some snuggles as they fell asleep.

————————

“So, are you in?”

Kurapika and (Name) glanced at each other. After being rudely awoken by Leorio bursting into Kurapika’s room. “No.”

Leorio scowled at Kurapika’s answer, walking over. “I wasn’t asking you, I was asking (Name).”

“No.”

“Pika, stop it.”

The blonde pouted, hiding his face away in (Name)’s face. “Ehem. Leorio, I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I don’t know if I’d get a babysitter in time for the kids.”

“What about Dia? She loves you, I’m sure she would babysit them!”

“She’s also an adult and it’s on New Year’s.”

Leorio crossed his arms, pouting along with Kurapika. “Oh come on, you can at least ask her! How am I supposed to throw a New Year’s party without my sunshine?”

She smiled at the pet name, rolling her eyes. “Oh, don’t try to sweet talk me, Leorio. I’ll ask her, but if she says no-“

Kurapika wrapped his arms around her, his face squishing against her breasts. “I don’t want you going…”

She sighed, playing with his hair. “Kurapika… you’re such a brat. Why don’t you just come with me?”

“Because if I wanted to hang around a bunch of drunk college students, I would have went to college.”

(Name) patted his head. Leorio had invited her to his apartment for a New Year’s Eve party. He would be inviting some of his college friends, which consisted of only men that were in his major. Leorio wasn’t bad with women, but he also wasn’t great with them, (Name) being the only female friend he had.

“Oh? So you’re not going?”

“Yeah, and you’re not going either, (Name).”

On the night of New Year’s Eve, the mom van pulled up to Leorio’s apartment. Kurapika got out of the car, opening the door and helping (Name) out.

“So much for not coming, Pika,” she teased, watching as he buttoned up her coat. “And what is this about?”

“College students are perverts. Stay near me, and don’t take a drink from anyone.”

“Kurapika, I don’t think Leorio would be friends with any creeps.”

“You never know, (Name).”

She rolled her eyes, holding onto his hand as he helped her up the stairs. They were a little icy, so he kept a hold on her, watching her feet to make sure she didn’t slip.

“Damn it Leorio, he should have scraped these or… something.”

“Kurapika Kurta, you expect him to scrape the ice off of all these stairs just for me?”

“… I would have done it.”

She felt her cheeks warm up as a smile stretched across her face. “Oh? What a sweetheart.”

He melted under her praise, nearly slipping himself as she smiled at him so brightly. “Careful, you’ll trip!”

They waited outside Leorio’s apartment, huddled together for warmth. “Why the hell is he taking so long? Are you holding? Do you want my c-“

The door swung open, revealing Leorio. He was wearing the shirt Killua and Alluka got him for Christmas. “Hey there stud, how’s the party going?”

Leorio blushed at (Name)’s words, laughing nervously. “Well… it’s going.”

They walked in to see a few men sitting on the couch, some playing Magic the Gathering or watching TV. Kurapika snickered to himself. “I didn’t know all your friends were nerds, Leorio.”

(Name) raised an eyebrow in Kurapika’s direction. “Kurapika, I know you aren’t talking. Just a few days ago you went on a rant about history and how it’s been misrepresented in the media. These are your people.”

Kurapika huffed, crossing his arms. She had a point though, Kurapika wasn’t exactly the popular type, besides being handsome. Or pretty, some people seemed to assume he was a woman upon first meeting.

Speaking of…

“Hey, welcome ladies! I thought this party was going to be a total sausage-fest!”

Kurapika scowled, but was calmed down by a gentle caress from (Name). “Oh, Kurapika isn’t a girl. He’s my…”

She thought for a second, glancing at the blonde for a moment. What were they exactly?

“He’s my… date for the night.”

The hesitation in her voice was like a punch in the gut. Although he was the one that hadn’t put a label on anything, a part of him wish she would call him her boyfriend.

But he couldn’t even call her his girlfriend, so he couldn’t get upset.

“I see… well, come sit with us! We just started a new game.”

(Name) was placed between two men, who immediately began explaining the game to her, letting her look at their cards. She seemed to be having fun, but the men were a bit too friendly for Kurapika’s liking.

“(Name).”

He pushed one of the men out of the way, sitting down and pulling her into his lap. “Let me see your cards, maybe I can help.”

“Oh, yeah you’re really smart, I’m sure you can come up with some sort of strategy!”

Kurapika kept a protective arm around her body, his chin resting on her shoulder as he guided her through the game.

Eventually, the others left to grab some drinks from the kitchen, leaving the two alone.

Kurapika gently caressed her hip, his chin resting on her shoulder. “You know, I never thought I was the type to get jealous before I met you.”

She was confused on what he meant, until his hand slipped under her skirt, moving her panties to the side. “K-Kurapika, you can’t-“

Her face went hot when she felt him slip in, barely covering a moan with her hand. “Shh, angel… you don’t want anyone to hear you, do you?”

She panted softly, trying to wiggle and move her hips for some friction, but only earning a squeeze to her thigh. “Angel… calm yourself, shh…”

The others returned, and Leorio was the first to notice her flustered state. “(Name)? You alright? You look like you might be running a fever…”

He leaned over to feel her forehead, and Kurapika seemed to tighten his grip around her body. Leorio was touching her while Kurapika’s cock was nestled inside of her, it felt naughty!

“I-I’m fine! Just… just a little hot…”

Leorio nodded slowly, watching as the blonde flared at him darkly. “I’ll… get you a drink then.”

The game continued, and she was barely able to focus with him twitching inside of her wet heat. Kurapika wasn’t doing so hot either, having to bury his face in her shoulder to keep himself from groaning. He was acting a bit cocky, but inside, all he felt was pure bliss at being able to nestle his cock inside of her like this. She was so warm, and getting to be this intimate with her felt like a dream come true.

As the cock ticked closer to midnight, the blonde tugged a blanket over the two, allowing his hand to slip under her skirt and play with her pussy undetected.

The way her cunt squeezed around him from the pleasure he was giving her made him bite his lip. “Oh, angel…” he choked out.

Leorio glanced at the blonde, raising an eyebrow. “Did you say something, Kurapika?”

The blonde’s cheeks turned bright red, and he stuttered out a quick reply. “N-no… just… just yawned. It’s getting pretty late.”

The taller man knew something fishy was going on, but decided to let it go to spare (Name) any embarrassment. “Yeah… it’s almost midnight.”

As the clock continued to tick forward, the two could feel themselves reaching their limit. Kurapika’s assault on her clit was making the poor girl writhe in his lap, only spurring him on to move his fingers faster. “Are you close, angel?”

His hushed words made her back arch, the feeling of his warm breath on her neck enough to make her pussy clench around him. “S.. so close…”

“Me too…”

(Name) nearly yelped when he lifted her hips and brought her back down on his cock. “P-Pika, they’ll see..!”

“Let them see, then they’ll know who you belong to.”

She felt her face get hot. Kurapika said he had gotten jealous, but she didn’t know how badly it had affected him. The way he fucked into her made her see stars and she was barely able to keep the blanket over them.

Thankfully, the others were either too drunk or two focused on the countdown to care. Even Leorio was busy, laughing as he chatted with one of the men there.

It was nearly midnight, and the countdown had started. She felt his cock slam into her, unable to take it. Thankfully, he was able to pull her in for a kiss just as she let out a whiny moan, muffling her sounds with his lips.

When the clock struck midnight, the two came together, their bodies trembling as Kurapika continued to ride his eyes, filling her wet cunt with his seed.

“And it’s midnight! Ooo, looks like someone got their New Years kiss!”

The two were too spent to even respond to Leorio, just resting in each other’s arms as they recovered from their orgasms.

“Are you alright, angel? Can I get you anything?” Kurapika asked, cupping her cheek gently.

“Don’t think you could… would make a mess…”

He blushed, realizing that if he did get up, his cum might leak everywhere.

For some reason, that made him more uneasy than embarrassed. He placed a hand over her chubby tummy, rubbing it lightly as he imagined his seed taking root in her womb. He was thinking of it again, creating a family, the new Kurta clan through her.

As the other party goers left to go home, Kurapika rested his chin on her shoulder, continuing his soft rubbing motion. Would he ever be able to settle down with her, have a family? What about his revenge? His clan?

His anger?

He never wanted to let his anger and hatred slip away, and deep inside of him, he knew that because of this, he would never be able to give (Name) the life she deserved as long as he held onto it.

It was selfish of him, really, to hold onto her like this when he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep her forever. He wanted it, desperately, with his entire being, but some old dogs can’t learn new tricks.

(Name) seemed so content, resting her head on his chest as she dozed off. She was cute like this really, when she trusted him with her body, with her life. Human beings were such fragile creatures really, with such short lives.

Was he wasting hers by being selfish? Right now, she could be in the arms of someone that would give her the world and more, that would give up anything and everything to stay by her side.

And yet here he was, holding onto her for dear life, tears trailing down his cheeks as he placed shaky kissed into her temple and cheeks.

‘I love you… I love you so much, I’m so sorry… everything I’ve loved, I’ve lost. I…’

He gently brushed some of her hair from her face, gently rocking her in his arms. “Goodnight, (Name).”

Kurapika laid down with her, his cock being kept warm inside of her.

“Sweet dreams, my angel.”

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

hii love, how are you doing? 🫶🏻

so, i just read your latest pietro hcs and it's SO GOOD😭 (like everything else that you write, i'm literally in love with your writing) and i had an idea

can i request an angry love confession from pietro after him and the reader go to a mission together and she puts herself at risk to save him?

like, they're friends with benefits, but are distant bc both of them had developed feelings for each other, but neither say anything bc they think the other only wants sex, like you said. the reader putting herself at risk during the mission to save pietro it's the last straw for him, he gets angry and freaked out by the idea of losing her. so, after the mission, they're arguing and it ends up leading to an angry love confession 😏😏

hii lovie!! im sorry this has taken so long, it took me ages to figure out how to get them out of the danger part, so I took a break from it and had no luck so left that part blank. but you’ll see what I mean😭 and im doing well, hope you are too. thank you :(( you’re so sweet!! thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌

MISTAKES AND CONFESSIONS

pietro maximoff x female reader

word count. 869

link to fwb hc’s

As of late, things with Pietro have been a little confusing - tricky, if you will - the complications of being friends with benefits making themselves more apparent after every meet-up.

Everything was going well, all going as planned, until the unforeseen moment when you actually fell in love with him. At the beginning of your elevated friendship, you both promised it would be strictly hook-ups, no strings attached, nothing else. And that's what you did - up until three weeks ago. 

After a while, you found yourself declining his invitations to meet up, like you were starting to pull back from him. It grew more difficult to be around someone so unattainable, to have the constant reminder of his romantic disinterest, so instead, you withdrew yourself to make it less painful. 

So now, when you cross paths at the compound, instead of a nervous hidden smile behind your hand, you avoid his gaze completely - turning your attention to the weather app on your phone.

It wasn't easy to ignore him, but it was getting there - that's what you told yourself, anyway. 

All of your attempts to avoid Pietro got flipped on its head when the two of you got paired together for a mission - to retrieve intel from an enemy base. It was supposed to be a low-risk assignment: get in, collect the information and get out, but nothing is ever that simple.

As soon as you and Pietro stepped foot in the room of said intel, you noticed a red hue shine from under his foot. You immediately tugged at his arm, halting his movements when you realised what you had both walked into.

"Pietro! Wait, wait, wait," you call out, gripping at his upper arm. "Don't move. Keep still," you ramble, eagerly looking around the space.

"What is it?"

"The room— it's got these— I don't know, just keep still," you breathe out a reply, feeling flustered. 

"It's okay," Pietro offers a brief moment of reassurance, keeping his eyes glued ahead - keeping still as instructed. "Are you okay? Are you on one, too?" he hesitantly asks.

"No, no, but you are and— I don't know what to do. Nat taught me what to do with these and— god, why isn't my brain working?" you mumble, frustratedly speaking your mind when you think about the possibility of something awful actually happening to Pietro - to both of you.

"Draga, it's fine. Really, it's okay," he whispers, slowly extending his hand behind, like he was awkwardly reaching for you.

"No, keep still— please. Just let me think," 

"You should go,"

"No, give me a minute," 

"Please, milovat. You need to go,"

"I said no. Just give me a second,"

You even your breathing, running an uneasy hand over your forehead as you assess your surroundings. 

----- after ------ (im sorry about this, my brain broke)

You avoid each other's gaze, separately processing everything that happened - how you were both about to be blown to pieces, how you were willing to let yourself die to get Pietro out.

"That was so stupid," Pietro mutters, keeping his eyes fixed on a tree ahead.

"Excuse me?" you reply, neck whipping around to face him.

"That was so stupid," he repeats, emphasising each word.

"Are you kidding?" you snicker. "If you had minded where you were going we wouldn't have had to done all that."

"So you're saying it's my fault?" he retorts, face grimacing.

"Yes. I am," you retaliate. "It's your fault."

You both sigh, growing frustrated with the conversation. It was as if there was so much left unsaid, it all coming together like a whirlwind of mixed emotions - everything from your failed 'relationship' to no contact to just now. It was like you were both holding back on everything, too scared to bring up the subject that tarnished your original friendship. 

"I told you to go, and you didn't. That's not on me. That's on you! Don't blame me for things we both messed up on."

"Me? That's rich,"

"Yes, you! Nothing is ever your fault, is it?" he sneers, the argument changing subject.

"You never listen! Always thinking about yourself,"

"Bullshit," he dryly chuckles, unamused smile on his face.

"I don't want to do this. It's boring and tiring," you cave, waving your hands in sign of defeat. "I give up. You win."

Pietro huffs, rubbing over his temples. "If you had just gone..." he murmurs, talking at the floor.

"I couldn't! I couldn't leave you,"

"Yes, you could. You should've gone. You could have died," Pietro's words soften as if it all hit him how real it was - how he could have lost you again, but for good. "You could've died."

"So could you," you turn to face him, meeting his saddened eyes. 

His hands drop to his side as he steps towards you, walking to close the gap - the closest you had been in weeks. He keeps his gaze solely on you, looking over you like you're no longer a distant memory, like he was seeing you in a new light - the way he was supposed to see you.

He cups your cheeks, holding your face in his hands. "I could have lost you again."

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

pietro taglist: @astermath @thewinterv @earth-elemental18 @lunnnix @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @randomawesomeperson102 @queerponcho @selfryed @daenerys-supremacy @dontknownameauthor @mrsbarnesxxx @honestly-who-even-is-this @simplyreflected @apxtowiris

[madlittlecriminal]

YESSSS smuttober has arrived!!! I do so require a smutty smutty fic with my boy, Miguel O'hara. As long as it includes (you guessed it)

a love confession,

stretch marks,

plus sized! reader with mad insecurities (but Miguel is mad about you not finding yourself hot AF.)

You can do what you will with that! if you need a lil itty bitty plot I'll give you one lol just hmu.

One in a Million ⥓ Miguel O'Hara × Plus Sized!Female!Reader

yeeeahhhh! i might release a Steven Grant one soon, so stay tuned for that. there's also a few hobie ones that I have to release and I might release one later today since i didn't post one yesterday :')

Ne-Yo inspired the title. sue me.

Warnings: fwb to lovers, angst, insecurity, fluff, smut, unprotected p in v, riding, lots of kisses, oral (f!receiving), praise

disclaimer: im not plus-sized, but i do have stretch marks since i have thick thighs & a small booty. feel free to give me feedback to improve.

for the month of october, im only writing smut. anything that is only fluff or angst will have to wait until november. requests are open if you have anything you'd like to send me.

You ran your hand down your stretch marks and sighed. While there was nothing wrong them, you felt slightly insecure about it. Especially when your best friend was Miguel O'Hara that you occasionally had sex with. You both were friends with benefits, but of course, no matter the gender, the ethnic background or body type, they would flirt with him. It sort of hurt because you were in love with him, and he didn't know it.

You also didn't know that he was madly in love with you.

"¿Todo bien, muñequita?" (Everything alright, doll?) He asked as he leaned against the doorframe of your room, startling you a bit since you didn't hear him open the door. You relaxed and nodded as you heard him close the door behind him. "Yeah, I'm okay." He raised a brow and wrapped his arms around your waist. "Are you sure?" You looked up at him and gave him a fake smile. "Of course." He shook his head. "You're such a bad liar, you know that?" You rolled your eyes and pushed away from him. "Maybe we should just stay as friends, Miguel." He was taken aback and scoffed. "What?" You gulped and he shook his head. "No. I don't want to be just friends."

"And why not?" He walked over to you and grabbed your hips, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. "If you tell me what's wrong, I'll tell you why." You glared at him, and he cocked his head to one side, waiting for you to respond. "Because I have stretch marks. I have cellulite. Plus, it's not like we're an actual relationship. I'm just asking to drop the benefits aspect." He chuckled and shook his head. "And I want to drop the benefits and make you my girl." Your eyes widened at his words, and he smiled. "You're kidding." His hands rubbed your thighs as his eyes met yours. "I'm definitely not. I love you. From your heart, your soul, every part and mark of your body. I'm not ashamed to say I fell in love with my best friend."

He nuzzled his nose against yours, making your cheeks warm up before he planted a soft kiss on your lips. "I love you too..." Miguel beamed before placing you on your bed and began kissing you again. You kissed him back, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I'm actually quite pissed that you don't think you're beautiful, you know that?" He whispered against your lips. "What?" He looked down at your dress and looked back at you. "You don't need this, do you?" You raised a brow before shaking your head. He gave you a curt nod before ripping the dress off of you. "Let's get one thing straight, muñequita: you are fucking stunning, alright?"

"You think so?" He smirked before pressing a kiss on your neck, then going down to the top of your breasts that were still covered in your bra. "No tienes idea, mi cosita bella." (You have no idea, my beautiful thing.) He took of your bra with ease before running his tongue across your nipples. You moaned, your fingers running through his hair. "Fuck, Miguel." He looked up at you with a smile before going down to shower your torso in kisses. "I really don't see how you don't think you're beautiful. You're sexy." He kissed your stomach and the stretch marks that decorated it, his eyes never leaving yours. He continued his journey down as he began to kiss your inner thighs before bringing them up and kissing the bottom of them, kissing each stretch mark along with your cellulite, humming in pleasure.

"I love every inch of your body. You are a damn goddess in my eyes, baby girl. Never forget that." You hid your face with your hands, but he quickly removed them. "Let me see that pretty face." Your eyes met his and he smiled. "There she is." Miguel plants a kiss on your clothed cunt, causing you to moan. He took them off of you in one swift motion before licking your cunt, your fingers gripping his hair. His mouth closed around your clit as he moaned from the tugs you gave his hair. The vibrations from said moan, made you cry out in pleasure, making him chuckle. You swore he was trying to make you cum right then and there because the vibrations were too much. "Miguel!" He smirked before he continued to eat you out as if he was a starved man.

"Oh my god!" You pressed his face closer to your pussy, making him slide his tongue inside you. He fucked you with your tongue until you couldn't hold back anymore, coming on his mouth and tongue. "Always so delicious." You felt the warmth from your cheeks, but you weren't sure if it was from his words or from the orgasm. Either way, you weren't complaining. Miguel quickly undressed and sat on the bed. "Ride me." You bit your lip before climbing on top of him and aligning yourself on his cock before slowly sinking down on it. "Ay, mi amor. No sabes que rico se siente estar adentro de ti." (Oh, my love. You don't know how good this feels to be inside of you.)

You moaned in response as you began to bounce on his cock. His hands rest on your hips as you grip his shoulders, his lips meeting yours, swallowing your moans and whimpers. When you went back down, you began moving your hips back and forth on Miguel, making him break the kiss and throw his head back. "Asi mi corazón. You make me feel so good, you know that? Such a beautiful woman. All mine." You nodded as your brows furrowed while you moaned softly. "All yours, Miggy." His lips met yours once more while his hands traveled up and down your body. "Good girl," he mumbled against your lips, making you clench around him. He groaned with a smirk before his hand went back down to your hips and pulled away from the kiss. "Want more, baby?"

"Please," Miguel nodded before lifting you up and down his cock, groaning and moaning. You ran your fingers through his hair as your eyes became hooded along with his from the pleasure. He then kept you steady before he began thrusting his hips up, pounding into you. "Oh fuck, baby! Yes!" You moan, wrapping an arm around his neck as he kissed your shoulder while fucking into your pussy. "Play with that pretty clit of yours while I fuck you, baby." He whispered. You reach down with your free hand and began playing with your clit. "That's a good girl. My beautiful good girl." You clench around him again, feeling yourself reach closer to your orgasm. "Cum for me, my goddess. Cum all over my cock."

With a cry of pleasure, you cum on his cock. Miguel continues thrusting until he holds you close to him as he comes inside of you. "Fuck!" You stood there for a bit before getting off of him and laying on the bed. Miguel smiled as he caught his breath, pressing a soft kiss on your lips. He got off the bed and grabbed a pack of wipes that were on your bedside table and cleaned you up before cleaning himself. He plopped down next to you before pulling you closer to him and resting your leg on his hip. "I love you so damn much, my love." You smiled and kissed his chin. "I love you too, Miggy." He rubs your back softly. "I hope you know every inch of you just makes you more beautiful in my eyes. The others don't matter to me when I have you. You're all I want and all I need. You're one in a million, my love."

[imaginecolby]

Friends with Benefits || Part Four - The Announcement

"y/n come on! they’re already waiting on us." colby called from the door.

"oh hush. i'm pregnant and am going to abuse the hell out of this card for as long as i can."

"yeah, you made that abundantly clear when you demanded i bring you a tub of ice cream last night."

"half of which you also ate, so don't give me that." you said, finally walking out into the living room. you and colby were on your way to take your anouncement photos. you agreed on the idea of a baby explorer, and the two of you were also dressed in xplr t-shirts.

you grabbed you purse and keys from the counter, finally ready to head out. you walked to the door, stopping in your tracks as colby didn't move.

"what? what's wrong?" you asked, looking up at him and noticing tears in his eyes.

"nothing, it's just," he took a deep breath to prevent himself from sobbing. "you're starting to show."

"oh, yeah!" you smiled, placing your hands under your belly. "that's your baby in there."

"our baby." he corrected, placing his hand above your belly button. you stood silently, allowing colby to take in the moment. "alright, let's get going." he said quietly, wiping his tears and following you out of the door.

you made your way to the park near your house where your photographer was meeting your for your shoot. fortunately, they'd just arrived, so you didnt feel bad about having kept them waiting.

you followed them to the spot they had picked out, amongst the trees that truly fit the exploration vibe you were going for. you were there for about an hour, and got some really amazing shots. once you were done, your photographer told you it would take a little bit for them you to edit the photos and send them to you. while you waited, you and colby went out for a bite to eat while you waited.

you both were beyond excited to finally share the news with your friends and extended family. you both had already shared with your parents, and they were all over the moon.

“y/n, you’re going to be a wonderful mother. you have such a nurturing and caring heart, i already know you’re going to spoil that baby with love.” your mom said to you over video chat.

“i get it from you.” you smiled.

“i can’t wait to come see you soon. until then, im gonna get started on planning your baby shower!” she cheered before you exchanged your goodbyes and hung up.

colby’s parents were just as excited to be getting their first grandbaby. they shared similar sentiments about their faith in you and colby being wonderful parents, and were overjoyed with the idea of having a new baby to spoil.

after sharing the news, you and colby were proud of yourselves for avoiding the topic of your relationship, and the truth of how you got to this point.

after your lunch, you and colby did a little bit of shopping before heading back home. upon your return, you checked your phone and saw your had a new email from your photographer; your announcement photos.

“ahh, they’re done!” you said, moving to sit with colby on the couch.

“open them, open them!” colby said excitedly as you tapped on the email notification.

you scrolled through the pictures, you on the verge of tears over how much you loved all the pictures. you and colby sat there forever, trying to decide on which ones to share. you ended up deciding on three pictures; one of the onesie lying in the ground with your ultrasound photo on top of it, one of you and colby holding the onesie between you and sharing a sweet smile, and the last one, a photo of you sitting on the ground with the onesie draped over your belly.

“there’s a new member coming soon to team xplr ✖️” you wrote for your caption. you hit post and set your phone down, taking a deep breath.

“and now we wait.” you said. after only a few minutes, both yours and colby’s phones began buzzing on the table. there were only a few people that knew about your pregnancy before this. your parents were the first to know, and of course colby immediately told sam. you both also shared with your siblings, but that was it. you wanted the news to be just yours for as long as you could keep it.

as more and more notifications came through, you snd colby finally began going through them. you checked your texts first, both of your extended families passing on their congratulations and well wishes. then, you took to instagram.

since moving to LA, most of your friends were also colby’s friends, ones that he’d made in the social media industry. you had friends of your own through your work too, but most everyone you knew, you’d met through colby. fortunately, they’d always been taken with you as an individual, and were friends with you for you, and not just who you knew.

you scrolled through the comments on your post, smiling at what everyone had to say.

yourphotographer: “congratulations again to you both! thank you so much for letting me be a part of this wonderful announcement!”

samgolbach: “so excited to have another member of xplr nation! you giys are gunna be great parents and i cant wait to be kiddo’s favorite uncle ♥️”

jakewebber9: “oh no way! this is so exciting!! congrats to you both!”

katrinastuartofficial: “@yourusername @colbybrock i cant believe THIS is how im finding out?? but im too excited to be angry! this is incredible, congratulations!”

yourbestfriend: “still so over the moon about this!! @yourusername youre going to be the most wonderful mama, im so happy and excited for you 💖”

kianlawley: “yes!! another baby on the way! i cant wait for coast and your little one to have playdates”

jccaylen: “this is crazy! congrats you two! we’re growing up so fast”

amberscholl: “oh my goodness, congratulations! i absolutely cannot wait to take you shopping for baby clothes and other goodies! ✨”

you continued reading all of the comments from your friends and other followers. youd gained quite a bit of a following for yourself since being attached to sam and colby, so your comments were also flooded with their fans sending you congratulations as well. you refreshed your notifications, watching a new comment pop up at the top.

colbybrock: “im so excited for us to be starting this journey with you. im also a bit scared and nervous, but i know with you by my side, we can accomplish anything. i love you. 🖤”

you smiled and pinned his comment to the top, typing an “i love you too” in response. as you watched more comments roll in, more and more people began to point out something else about you and colby.

“oh shit.” you said aloud.

“what?”

“not only did we announce our pregnancy, we also announced our relationship.” you laughed.

“oh shit, youre right.” colby said, staring at your dumbfounded. “ive been thinking so much about the baby, i hadn't even thought that we hadn't told anyone about us yet.” he laughed

“you didnt tell sam? i figured you wouldve text him as soon as we talked.” you teased.

“i dont tell him everything,” he paused and you raised a brow at him. “that fast, at least.” he blushed.

“well, now it’s out there. im just glad it’s been a mostly positive response.” you said, nuzzling into colby’s side. he wrapped an arm around you and squeezed you tight.

“me too.” he said, kissing the top of your head. the two of you spent the rest of the evening at home, relaxing, watching movies with your dinner, and relishing in the happiness and support you felt radiating around your announcement. you were ecstatic, happier than youd ever been in your life.

[annimoose]

Okay, okay, okay, now that I had time to properly digest everything from part 44. I can finally give out some real thoughts on it. Real and disjointed thoughts but thoughts anyway.

Part 44 spoilers

First of all, i am still just so giddy about John being referred to as John in the description now and not as "The Entity". This is, SO MUCH to me.

The title, the fucking title. The Deliverance being a "rebirth" not of just John finally understanding who he is and wants to be, but for both Arthur and John's relationship going forward (hopefully continuing to communicate better with one another at least until Kayne decides to file out divorce papers again), and of course Arthur coming back from the dead "being reborn again." Can I call it that? Plus they did come out of the "hags womb" (over explaining here but fuck it we ball.)

The Waylay is limbo? Right? Or Arthur's personal limbo? Seems like limbo for everyone due to the blood and sand already waiting for him there ("alive" Parker reveal, maybe? Lets go?) I got so many questions about the Waylay. Also if John and Arthur both die and get separated, I will cry for at least a week. They deserve to be happy together bro I cant. 😭

John being a lot more caring now bruvs, its jover. Its so fucking jover for me. Also, John being a lot more active with using his hand now right? Right???

As much as I absolutely adore Yorik, I feel like he will turn heel once Kayne appears again. He stated himself that he does whatever benefits him the most and with Kayne being as powerful as he is, it shouldn't be a question. But if he does choose to stay with Jarthur I will be surprised. (I will still love Yorik no matter what, he just a little silly guy.) I hope he goes around and kills people hitman style with that hand.

Arthur needing to see Faroe again. That shit ate me up, GUH, This hit me in the feelies pretty well ngl. I hope Faroe is in the Waylay. But, what if somehow she was in the darkworld though? I know it's "immortal hell" but, memories can "immortalize" a person. What if John met her and that's what got him to realize his bedrock?

I have never been unnerved by this podcast until John described the fucking witch. Discovering a dead body, underwater? Hell Nawww.

Arthur held his breath for how long exactly? He only took three days after being fucking stabbed multiple times to death? I mean, honestly that sounds like an Arthur thing to me, but still. That's odd. Brings me back to my amulet theory. Is he still wearing it? The amulet still allows you to feel pain but keeps you alive no matter the damage.

Arthur, Arthur, please just read the goddamn letter. YOU'RE KILLING ME. I wonder if Oscar's letter is going to be used as a tool to bring Arthur back if he does almost lose himself again. (Plus I just really want to know what's in the fucking letter, FUCK.)

Day of wrath ey? You'll see soon? Hmmm. Something is going to happen at the castle. Isn't it? They're going to get really pissed, John is going to project himself or something more?? People at the castle probably already know Arthur ain't the prince, but is someone they expect. (like the cultist.) THEY'RE GOING TO MEET THE KNIGHTS HERE, RIGHT???

"Owls don't eat People boys." (Ajejjr fucking loved this line.) but im with John and Yorik with this one, I do not trust Owlexander. I JUST DON'T GREAT HORNED OWLS DO NOT COME OUT AT DAY UNLESS ITS FOOD/WEATHER RELATED. WHY IS THE OWL ATTRACTED TO ARTHUR? MAYBE OWLEXANDER DOES THINK HE IS FOOD. I DONT KNOW. BUT THE BIRD IS SUS TO ME.

Okay thats all I can vomit right now. If you read this, thank you and im sorry for the brainrot.

Okay bye.

[zoroshark]

Hey! This is Zoro coming with an update about my health as quite a few things have happened the past couple of months. As some may know, I've been dealing with chronic pain and illness since February of last year as mentioned in this post here.

A quick summary of it was that I have been dealing with constant bladder and stomach problems suddenly that were disrupting day to day life as they were painful and constant. Despite the multiple hospital visits, nothing was really done and at the time I could only wait to see certain specialists (which required a lot of money to see). Recently however, I finally got an answer to what was causing me pain in one part of my stomach! The culprit was my gallbladder and it has been removed!

The rest of the post will be caught off so for those who want to read in more detail, but one issue has been solved (at least i hope so)!

I also want to note here and thank everyone who's been supportive of me during this rough patch in my life. I also want to thank those who sent money for the GoFundMe! However, due to a few circumstances which will also be explained in the read more section, I will be refunding it all to those who donated.

TLDR version of my reason is that I was advise to do so for the eligibility medical/financial benefits I've been looking into. The refunds should be sent in about a week, so keep and eye out!

TW for Medical related subjects such as surgery.

For what was causing me pain in my stomach, or at least one of the reasons:

Turns out I had gallstones that somehow CT scans and ultrasounds didn't pick up last year, despite the pain and discomfort I was in from them. It got to the point where the pain was so unbearable, I was crying for about 2-3 hours before going to the ER. They found one stone had thicken walls through the ultrasounds and my gallbladder was infected from these stones.

Because of the findings, I underwent surgery to completely remove it during my stay in the hospital. I am now close to two weeks post-op and so far it has relieved most, if not all, of the constant pain I've been in my upper right. While I still have issues elsewhere in my body, it feels nice to have one issue solved. I just hope I don't need another trip to the ER anytime soon.

As for the detailed explanation for refunding the GoFundMe donations:

A few months back I after the go found me, I was accepted in a financial assistance program that made doctor's visits way cheaper. From close to hundreds of dollars to 3 dollars, that was way more an affordable price range for me. Despite that, i kept the donations on hold just in cause anything changed or something wasn't covered by the program until now.

Along with that, I've been applying for disability as I am considered disabled by my psychiatrist due to my mental health. After talking to a few folks who knew about the system, they mentioned that the money from the fundraiser could harm the process in gaining these benefits. Their recommended course of action was to refund the money as a precaution, so I'm following their advice. After the refunds have gone through, I will be closing the fundraiser.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Again, I want to give a massive thank you everyone in general who have supported me through all this. Its been difficult, especially since I had to accommodate to the pain and changes in my body. There has been MANY ups and for sure downs, but I'm still holding on!

Thank you for reading on this update, and expect to see me slowly become active again on here! I'm still in my Zonai phase so expect more content revolving around that, along with possible Zora content. Original works not involving fandoms will also (hopefully) be posted too!

Im also thinking of opening commissions in the future! I'll need to ask about that first due to what I mentioned above, but as far as I'm aware, I should be okay to do so (but don't quote me on it). So keep an eye out!

[3liza]

sorry i saw ur post about fact checking youtubers and this is probably the least important part of that post but isn't the origin of smiledog like a huge mystery or something. if you know the twitter handle of the creator does that mean we know what the original unedited image was, or is that the one unknown part

its not unknown at all, the guy is Michael Lutz and he was the accepted author of smiledog until relatively recently when the kids who werent born yet when smiledog was posted started going "wait a minute...theres no PROOF" and decided en masse that the smiledog author was now a mystery again. the story is spookier if theres no author. personally i think this is stupid but the reasons why come down to "i know this guy as an internet mutual and im 90% sure he would not lie about this because he does not benefit from it at all, and also because he has been talking about it for years, way before this post on twitter, and i saw him talking about it years earlier and it didnt sound like he was lying then either"

like the only memes i can actually prove i was involved with are pictures of myself. if you ever see a blonde girl in a Vault 13 suit on 4chan in a set of (non-nude) webcam photos, thats me (just an example).

there just arent any other credible claims. theyre not wrong that theres no "proof", michael says he has the assets in an archive somewhere, maybe he'll post them someday but honestly i wouldnt ever acknowledge it again if i were him, the creepypasta kids are so fucking obnoxious he would never have peace online again (edit: not you, this message was completely normal and polite and you are not obnoxious, i was speaking generally and in a mean way)

[emmyrosee]

hiya emmy :D i was reading ur dad aus, and i thought ‘what if emmy wrote older sibling aus?’ and i wanted to request one :) somehow im a complete softie for ur bakugou, so i wanted to request an older brother bakugou who ten years older than his lil sis, and she absolutely adores him. i think shed be like ‘katsu-nī’ all the time, and be around five? six? when he gets into UA. idk why but im imagining him calling her ‘kid’ or ‘brat(in a nice way, u know?)’ and when hes rlly soft, maybe ‘sweetheart’ when she has nightmares? and maybe when he gets captured, shes so scared that she cant sleep well, and after he comes back, she begs to sleep with him, and mama mitsuki finds her kids sleeping together during the night, with bakugous lil sis clinging to him like her life depends on it and bakugou having an arm around her. and maybe when she was younger, shed enter bakugous room randomly, and sit on his lap while he does hw or study? and shed have all kinds of nicknames for his friends, for instance, she likes to call midoriya ‘zuku-nī’ and kirishima ‘aka-nī’ cuz he had red hair and calls the rest of them by their first names and ‘san’ at the end :) thx for listening to my rant and i hope ur having a good day, and u stay healthy :)

-sky :D

WAIT NO THIS IS ACTUALLY LIKE. REALLY REALLY CUTE-

Because like. Yeah, the last thing the boy needs in his life is a new sibling, he needs that like he needs a UTI.

But then she comes along and he’s like… like he’s obsessed with her.

He tries to hide it under indifference, he doesn’t really care that there’s gonna be a new, tiny presence in his home, he’s got enough to take care of.

That is, until Bakugou Kaida comes into this world.

Until the smallest, sweetest bundle of pink blankets is passed into his arms and it’s then and only then he realizes that he’s doomed, because this kid was going to absolutely have him wrapped around her finger, and come hell or high water, he’d keep her the happiest little brat to walk the face of the earth.

And he is sure to have her grow up with that knowledge.

One time, when she was three, someone pushed her on the playground, and Katsuki nearly punted a four year old- he, instead, told her how to push back (which wasn’t appreciated by his parents) and stand her ground.

However, said ‘happiest brat mantra,’ she knows exactly how to make it curve him for her benefit.

When he’s left to babysit her, she flashes him her biggest set of puppy eyes to make him play with her; his parents have come home god knows how many times to him with a table cloth draped over his back, playing Horsies- she does it more when Midoriya is the horse, because he can’t say no to her either, but anytime she says “Zuku-ni would do it” to Katsuki, he immediately drops on his hands and knees with a snarl on his mouth. Like hell he’s gonna let Midoriya win her heart like that.

And listen, the kid is cute, and she’s got that classic Bakugou charm. She knows how to work it! But Katsuki can’t help the absolute rage down his spine when she’s got her tiny arms curled around Kirishima’s thick neck and they tease him about when they’re gonna get married because yeah, of course, she wants to marry his friends, because why can’t she be disgusted by them like he is?

(”Yeah, bakubro, you’re cool being my best man for it, right?”

“I’d rather skin you alive and drape you over my banister before I let you come near her with a ring pop, do not test me-”)

But obviously, no matter what, for Kaida’s happiness, Katsuki is willing to move boulders, move mountains, part seas, and swallow the stars if it meant she would smile for him.

So, when he gets taken by the LOV, it’s wild how much Kaida deflates. Mitsuki catches her, more times than not, curled up on his bed to sleep for her nap, and at nighttime, she stares longingly outside of her window to wait for him. They try to be gentle and explain that he’ll be back soon, but she doesn’t believe them, she wants to see it with her own eyes.

They put her back to bed, but she’s up a few hours later, perched at her window and whimpering softly. They try to keep her in their bed, but all she does is ask questions about Katsuki until the early hours of the morning, things they don’t always know the answer to.

Those were the longest days of her little life, and when they finally get the call that he’s alright, he’s alive, it’s an extremely tearful reunion. And Katsuki, the hellion and wall of impenetrable rage, screws his eyes shut to fight the stabbing of tears that want to fall into her hair.

Kaida absolutely refuses to let him out of her sight after that.

The entire time they’re talking to the school, her big, crimson eyes are blinking up at him, tiny fingers curled in his shirt collar. Completely unfazed by the snapping between her parents and brother, she just. Stares. She doesn’t smile, she doesn’t frown, she doesn’t pout. It’s just a simple, blank face with all her emotions and relief in her eyes.

Even after the whole ordeal, there’s a part of Kaida that treasures Katsuki (somehow) even more. Anytime he’s home, she’s clinging to him, be it physically by dangling to his back and legs, or simply being in the same room with him: next to him at the dinner table, sleeping on his bed while he’s at his desk, playing with his fingers while he watches tv.

He’d be annoyed by it if she wasn’t so cute.

If he didn’t miss her almost as much as she missed him.

It’s different when he’s away at school and can call her whenever he wants; he hates how much he loves the little snot.

Even now, curled into his side and sucking her thumb while they watch TV, Katsuki knows that if he gets up to merely pee, she’s gonna follow him and sit on the outside of the door, talking to him under the door. (The first time Deku saw that in action, he cooed audibly, and Katsuki nearly ran out of the can with his pants undone to blow him to shit.) and he’d never be able to complain about it.

Sometimes, he can’t help but putting off whatever it is he needs to do, to keep her comfy.

It’s what big brothers do.

“Katsu-ni?” She hums around her thumb. Big eyes look up at him, and he scratched her hair gently.

“What’s up?”

She pauses, as if trying to find the words, her tiny brows furrowed in thought. Then, she speaks, words warbled from the digit in her mouth.

“You think mumma gon’ notice if I go back ta’ school wiff you? In your back-packie?”

He snorts and tightens his arm around her, burrowing his face in her hair to hide the sound. She squeals and bats him away affectionately, completely crawling in his lap when she deems he’s too far from her.

“I think she might, stink.”

Kaida pouts and thunks her head against his chest, the fingers of her free hand fisting his collar. “Do ya have to go…?”

“You know I do,” he grumbles, hooking a lock of hair behind her ear, once again burying his face in her hair. The only noise for a moment comes from the TV, and he focuses on the rhythmic breathing from his little brat.

“You don’t have to think about that for a few more days,” he says, planting a kiss to her head and choosing to fight the way his eyes water when she sniffles softly. “You can use me as a jungle gym for a few more days.”

This, has her giggling, and he angles his head up at the ceiling because this is always the hardest part about being home, especially since he was kidnapped.

“I don’t like when you leave, Katsu-ni,” she mumbles.

“I know, baby.”

“Make me miss you…”

“I know- you know I miss you too.”

“Wish you didn’t have to keep goin’ ‘way…”

He swallows again.

“I know.”

[irrigos]

OKAY im gonna talk about the thing in mask of the rose thats been consuming my thoughts. For people who might know the scene I'm talking about, it's something Ivy tells you, and the game keeps giving you options to stop the conversation because it is, genuinely, pretty disturbing. its got horror elements that have been in FL before, but never in this particular way, and as i said in my last post, seeing the content warnings will probably give away the broad strokes. im gonna put them in the tags, and hopefully if you have them filtered, then you wont see this at all? idk. i genuinely am sorry if you see this and didnt want to, but i have things i wanted to say about it

okay so in mask of the rose, Ivy gets really into doing Hallowmas stuff, accepting peoples confessions and secrets, and occasionally doing stuff to their memories (i think there was something in Zubmariner where theres a port made up of peoples regrets?? it might be connected to that, but i never played zumbariner. it might also be something Midnighter adjacent. or it might be its own thing!! i just dont know)

Ivy can tell you about a confession she received, which is incredibly disturbing. To make it quick: a womans child died, and times being hard as they are, she ate it. But then David returned from the dead fully intact, and everyone learned that death isnt permanent. Ivy had to remove this womans memory of what she'd done

like i said, while FL as a franchise has included (maybe too much?) cannibalism, and certainly a decent amount of child death, it's never been... like this before. it was disturbing in a way nothing else ever had been in any of the games

...so is it bad to say that i kinda liked it?

cannibalism has come up in fallen london often, but its usually kind of flippant about it imo. like, it's a thing that debauched rich people do sometimes, or starving zailors do, or deranged cultsits do, but not people like US. random women in london dont get that desperate!!! until they do.

and when cannibalism appears in the games, its usually written so... idk distantly? that i really never feel much of anything for it, except almost bored. most of the time when it shows up, im like "wow cannibalism. again. how original 🙄 pretty sure thats the only horrific twist fbg even knows exists". i dont think it's bad, the way its usually written. it's not like i even WANT ever lurid detail, and i think it would be pretty bad for me and for the writers to do that. but the side effect is that, for me personally anyway, it never really has the weight i think they probably want it to

but in mask of the rose? its a visual novel, so youre not given that same kind of distance you get in fallen london. it affected me in a way that other, similar horrific moments very much did not. I mean, i played all of seeking and i just thought it was boring for the most part!!!!

i also think it really gets at the horror of "you cant die in the neath". i mean, this woman did something horrible and taboo out of desperation, and then had to learn that it was also entirely unnecessary. she could have just waited! how could she possibly live with herself, having done this? but also she cant die! what option is there for her, other than to excise the memory entirely?

and also i think it emphasizes why cannibalism would be especially taboo and especially horrific in the neath. if death is rarely permanent, i would think defiling someones corpse would be seen as especially abhorrent

anyway. it was a moment of pure horror and i kind of liked that it was in the game. its a little tonally out of step with the rest of motr, tho, lol. but it kinda makes me wish theyd leaned more in on the horror of the fall. you as the player character want for very little, because you always have food and a place to sleep, and the Masters are (allegedly) organizing and distributing resources. but also... i mean clearly thats not benefitting everyone, and i think thats genuinely really interesting

.......... although i sure would like it if i could stop thinking about that scene lol. the game kept being like "you dont have to read this" and i did not listen. ain't that just the way!!!!

[youremyheaven]

I guess you're the anon who shares the same placements as my mom hehe 🤭

Damn so it was the Anuradha then 🥺

What are your Rahuvian naks? Ardra? or is it Shatabhisha? // ardra! but i suppose the venus in swati does count too also i found it interesting that based on your description of your mother i seem to be so so different from her despite the similar placements because i really rejected feminine things for such a long time and never feel feminine enough as desired, and im not tomboyish in any way at all, just awkward-ish, and always afraid to try and be pretty (in my early teens i even went through a phase where i would try to dress and look as awful as possible because in my mind, ugly was ugly and trying to be pretty would only highlight the fact that i was ugly) manifestation and stuff has actually helped me with this a lot but i always still feel a little inferior to others in looks and sometimes material things (even though i do think i am pretty, and sometimes get young, sweet, pretty girl benefits, especially from richer and higher class people (maybe a manifestation of my swati venus and venusian nak? could be the way your mum's chart played out too)) but the funniest part is that venus is the BEST aspected and placed planet in my chart imo astrology can be so literal at times but so twisty too, ive has placements and planets work together and play out in the most literal ways ever and then there's also this side of things

i think many of us are subconsciously waiting to be given "permission" to like/enjoy certain things and astrology can help with that to some extent,, i rejected a lot of things and thought i was lowkey crazy until i looked at my chart and realised that its..all...right..there.. and that it is who i am.

sometimes its hard to separate our true selves from the person we've been conditioned to become by our environment. i think its a journey in itself, trying to figure out why we're drawn to certain things and whether or not our rejection of some other things is innate or motivated by our conditioning. i think the spiritual journey is one where we're ultimately liberated from the soot of impressions we've accumulated.

i think we're often pressured by society/external elements to tone down/suppress parts of ourselves that are truest to us. i dont know what your experiences have been like and neither am i suggesting that your Venusian influence is more prominent than all your other influences but perhaps its worth considering why even though you have these energies, you feel distant from it or shy away from embracing it.

clearly you benefit from Venusian privileges 😉you just don't feel at ease with the whole "pretty gworl slayy" vibe you associate with it,, I feel like Jyeshta individuals can kind of struggle with confidence a bit but i hope you embrace the full spectrum of your being and intentionally manifest all of its blessings<33