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notmoreflippingelves · 2 years ago

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How a Hypothetical “Apollo Justice 2″ Would Bridge the Gap between the Takumi and Yamazaki Eras (Part 1)

I actually had a post-nap/ half-awake clarity realization that a lot of (but not necessarily all) of people's complaints about DD (and to a lesser extent SOJ ) being "bad"/"ooc"/wrong direction/too much of a re-set could actually be resolved fairly efficiently or at least be minimized significantly by a few minor rewrites to DD and the insertion of a hypothetical "new" game set between AJ and DD. As this post 1) is very long, 2) has been sitting half-finished in my drafts for over six months now, I am going to break up my thoughts into at least 2 posts.

Complaint 1: “Apollo has had pretty much nothing to do/barely any development/too much "backstory" and not enough other characterization.”

In hypothetical “Apollo Justice 2″ Apollo would be the main (if not the *only*) player character. This would center him more in the story than in the other games in which he appears.

Even though it bears Apollo’s name, AJ is much more "Phoenix, Trucy, and the Gavin brothers'" story than Apollo's. And DD is very much "Athena and Blackquill's" story, even though Apollo has more "playtime" than Athena in said story. And even though SOJ is technically Apollo's story (or at least his and Nayhuta's jointly), it can be hard to tell, given all the skipping around between player characters and/or locations.

Given the complaints that the creators keep throwing backstory tidbits at Apollo and hoping they'll stick, said game would not add anything to the exhaustive list of existing Apollo backstory. Instead, it would build upon/introduce earlier/provide context to the backstory we already have .

In essence, we would operate on a similar characterization model to what Miles Edgeworth goes through in the Ace Attorney Investigations games. That is to say...Apollo would still be the clear protagonist and undergo the most change/development...even when it's not "his" story and little to nothing is “added” to his existing backstory. His development would come through an internal conflict or paradigm shift rather than an external one.

Similar to AAI 2 and its underlying themes of parenthood and family legacy, Apollo Justice 2 could focus on new characters experiencing abandonment/neglect and/or who feel mistrustful and betrayed by those around them. All of which would mirror Apollo’s own struggle to move on from abandonment and betrayal by his mentor figures (Dhurke, Phoenix, and Kristoph, most of all) . His primary arc/goal could be learning to trust again or reaching a point again where he finally feels “safe” at not being betrayed or abandoned again.

Apollo Justice 2 would also provide a great opportunity to bring Clay into Apollo’s story a bit sooner to give his death in DD more context and resonance.. Maybe he's a witness (or even a temporary assistant if Trucy is busy "magic-ing"). In any case, he is a friend that Apollo has who is totally separate from law and/or the WAA, which gives him the unique opportunities to bring out Apollo’s “fun” side and more importantly, be a logical person that Apollo can confide in about any frustrations/struggles/insecurities concerning WAA and/or lawyering and/or the Gavins.

Additionally, Thalassa/Lamiroir could return as a witness/assistant as well, and we could get some nice bonding moments between her, Apollo, and Trucy. There’s some lovely potential for situational irony with the players having the additional context that Apollo lacks. A uncomfortable moment where someone tells Thalassa she’s good with kids and would make a great parent if she wanted to. A poignant moment where Thalassa confides that she’s afraid of being rejected by loved ones that would provide a plausible explanation as to why she hasn’t revealed that she’s Apollo and Trucy’s mom yet.) Perhaps even the opportunity for her to use the same “perceive” abilities she passed on to her kids (and Apollo remaining oblivious to the significance of this).

Complaint 2: “Why Introduce the MASON system /Jurist System if you’re Just Going to Abandon it?”

Personally, I don’t really have a problem with dropping the MASON system given some of the obvious ethical ramifications (tfw you create a new legal system to settle a personal vendetta and are able to hand-pick the jury most likely to rule in your favor).

I’m willing to accept in the context of the game given that 1) it’s a cool narrative device/game mechanic and 2) we know Kristoph is guilty and the only way to take him down is to employ his own methods (legal loopholes and corruption of legal processes) against him.

But as I realize that I’m in the minority here, I think that revisiting the MASON system a few more times could provide a plausible canon explanation as to how and why it was abandoned.

I think the best way to use the MASON system in AJ 2 is to have it be part of a “trial phase” of the new system. Although it was used to great success in the Vera Misham trial, it seems unrealistic that the court would immediately pivot to every trial in the courts being presented in this way.

A few “test cases” of MASON would allow a more thorough evaluation of the system before a decision is made about whether to adopt it. Maybe 2-3 (out of 5) of the trials in AJ 2 would be MASON cases and the others would be “regular” cases. And at the end of the game (and due to the corruptions found through the system), the decision is reached to abandon the system (perhaps leaving the door open to try it again in a few years once they figure out how best to fix the issues presented).

In my mind, there are two obvious flaws in the Jurist System and/or MASON system (as it is presented in 4-4) that are ripe for exploitation by unscrupulous persons. Either (or preferably both) of these problems could be presented in the context of Apollo Justice 2, and these potentially could end up being the canon-justification that the system is abandoned.

The first flaw is the potential for jury tampering , perhaps through bribery (of jurors to rule a certain way and/or the judge/lawyers to accept a specific juror), and/or perhaps through extortion/blackmail/intimidation of jurors (think Maya’s kidnapping in 2-4 but instead, the jurors/their loved ones are the ones being threatened). Or even just someone with connections/influence being able to “stack” the jury with their friends and allies (*cough Phoenix cough*) and thereby ensure the verdict they want.

The second is the increased potential for evidence tampering. As we know, falsified and/or manipulated evidence is already a massive problem in the AA universe, and introducing new technology in the form of a “simulation recreation/game” like the MASON system just introduces an entirely new opportunity for evidence to be deleted, manipulated and/or fabricated in a way that predisposes one verdict over another.

Given what we see in AJ, I think it’s reasonable to assume the MASON system functions broadly similar to Kay’s “Little Thief” in the sense that information is fed into it by a person and a simulation/recreation is therefore “created” based on that data. Now imagine that the person inputting that data into the MASON system has something to hide. Consider how easy it would be for them to change the simulation in a way that intentionally implicated an innocent person and/or to erase/alter the evidence in a way that “proves” a guilty suspect is “innocent.”

Either of the two above scenarios has the potential for an exciting dramatic finale for AJ 2 while also providing context/explanations for the system’s absence in DD/SOJ.

#ace attorney #phoenix wright #apollo justice #odoroki housuke #apollo justice: ace attorney #ace attorney meta #aa meta #not sure i'm happy with this but it's been in my drafts for ages #and that bothers me #and it might be another 6 months before part 2 is done #so i might as well clear out drafts

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crossroadsfossil · 4 years ago

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Fake titles!!!

"Giving matches to paper dolls"

"Making wishes out of Airplanes"

"For wheat is still wheat when mistaken for grass at a distance."

" you've got time to grow"

"Letters to myself"

"I begged god to spare you, 10yrs later he got the memo and knocked my front teeth."

-im sorry this^ title is so long-

"You and have a long walk home."

"We decided not to cry."

send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i would write to go with it

"Giving matches to paper dolls"

OTGW fic.

When Wirt was finished with high school, he decided to take a gap year, encouraged by his stepdad, who also offered to help fix up an old car. Wirt chose a moped.

His stepfather held up a hand when Wirt wheeled the moped into the garage. Wirt stopped and waited, his stepfather massaging the bridge of his nose before turning around and entering the house. Less than three minutes later he returned with a photo album, an almost manic grin on his face. Wirt ended up learning a lot about his stepfather’s own gap year, and his moped. His stepfather suggested he go south.

Looking back on it, Wirt realized that was probably not a great choice. He might not have ended up going through the kudzu covered wall in the rain and ending up nursing what he hoped wasn’t a broken ankle.

The woods were dark, and oh so familiar.

plot: return to The Beyond. World hopping Wirt and Greg. Eventual Beast Wirt.

"Making wishes out of Airplanes"

Plot: The thing about living in large cities was that light pollution drowned out all stars. The heavens could be raining down wish bearing stars and no one in the city or its suburbs would be able to see them.

That’s alright. Izuku was used to taking terrible situations and transmuting them into success like an alchemist of old. He did it when he was young, he would do it again.

He just hadn’t counted on Tomura being sent back in time with him.

"For wheat is still wheat when mistaken for grass at a distance."

Inko Midoriya could once move mountains. If you gave her enough time and a spoon, she would show you a new valley where it used to be. Marriage and the birth of her son had provided her the opportunity to retire - something she took with both hands and would refuse to give up.

Or it had been until she had seen what Izuku was being sent into, what even the top ten couldn’t prevent from happening to her son. She was... disappointed. She had expected more of them and, well. There were few things that could prompt her into leaving retirement. Izuku was always one of them, and when he asked how to save a person, well.

She pulled out the small black book with her cyphered contact list and began to call in favors and upon old friends.

" you've got time to grow"

One of the first things he was told after being taken in by the commission was that he was to be called Hawks. Which was fine. He liked it. It sounded cool. It sounded badass.

The second thing he was told was that he was being placed in a home. A pair of foster parents, carefully vetted. His mom had always told him to slow down, to not go as fast. Clearly, he didn’t listen to her. He didn’t regret it. Now, now he was forced to slow down. Bandages pulling at his back and shoulders, the echoing pain dulled by creams and medication. That wouldn’t stop him normally but the driveway that was half a kilometer to the road hindered him. The fact that the nearest town was an hour's drive beyond that was another factor. Until his wings grew back, if they grew back, he was stuck at his parent’s retirement home.

“Hawks, honey, the farmhands are almost here.” His mother said, phone in hand. “Your mom says they picked up lunch on the way back. From the glee in her voice, I think she got several buckets. I swear.” She sighed fondly and left. Minutes later he heard the front door open, and the tromping in of several sets of feet. With a sigh, he got up and limped down to the dining area.

At the threshold, he froze, seeing people he didn’t want to ever see again, and especially not with his mothers in the same room.

“Hawks.” Spinner said, surprise written over his face. The heads of the rest of the league snapped hard toward him, surprise and creeping dread over everyone’s face.

"Letters to myself"

If Phalnex could have written a letter to his past self, he would have encouraged another post. Any post. Any position would have been better than where he was currently. Yes, there were benefits but he would not consider this one of them.

A large feline purred as he entered the hanger. It was the largest of the lions- that was what the humans were calling them. He wasn’t sure what their fascination with comparing wildlife to creatures they had on their homeworld. He saw where they drew the comparisons, but still.

“Oh thank fuck.” A familiar voice said. His ears swiveled to pinpoint where the holder of the voice was and he spotted her held between the lion’s front two paws.

“Vin.” He greeted. The Midoan smacked the paws until they loosened enough for her to wiggle out from between them. She offered him a sympathetic look as she sped by him. As soon as she cleared the door, he was being picked up, scruffed as if he was a kit.

Gods, he couldn’t wait until that pilot returned. This lion was ungodly clingy without him.

"I begged god to spare you, 10yrs later he got the memo and knocked my front teeth."-im sorry this^ title is so long-

This would actually be a series, a trilogy to be exact. Age/roleswap.

I begged god to spare you, -

If there was one thing Izuka was worried about, it was this year’s UA internships. Tokoyami was doing his best to reassure him, but even the antics of darkshadow (who was doing her best to imitate an overly fluffy utahraptor) weren’t easing the twisting in his stomach. Something felt wrong. He wasn’t sure what it was, but when the interns had left with his sidekicks, something trilled at him to go with them, even though Recovery Girl had assured him that between herself, Apex and Ravine, they would be fine. There was a knock and then Ochako stuck her head in. She had that look she got when dealing with Bakugo and paperwork in the same room- a mix of exhausted and simmering annoyance.

“Guess who found trouble?” She said. Izuku groaned and let his head thump the table.

10yrs later he got the memo -

The two children before him were pale-haired, short, and one of them was looking at Izuku like he dared the hero to come closer. Toshi was letting Recovery Girl look over his arm, inspecting her work before moving on to Enji. The fire-user was giving a glare towards Toshi that, were his flames capable of shooting from his eyes, his classmate would be ash already.

The smaller of the two children clung to, what Izuku assumed was his older brother. Both were too skinny, and the smaller (younger?) of the two looked several minutes away from toppling over.

“I’m Izuku.” Midoriya greeted. The kid that bit Toshi snarled and reached out a hand, only for it to be grabbed and pulled away.

“Shigaraki.” The smaller sibling interrupted, shooting his brother a look. A silent conversation passed between them, and Izuku let them. No one knew what their quirks were, but judging by the fact that the yakuza had them, he was sure it was powerful and dangerous. Worst case scenario, he asked for Miss Eri and got Tenko in here to provide a pep-talk.

and knocked my front teeth. -

“Babysitting?” Touya asked, dropping his bag and removing his shoes. Tenko nodded. Around him, there was what appeared to be the entirety of Tenko’s comic collection. One child was eagerly engrossed, chattering excitedly at his brother. The brother glared at everyone, tracking their movements. He hoped Tenko had told his boss that he wasn’t keeping the brats overnight. Being roommates with a hero-ling was one thing. Being dragged into a literary trope was another, and as much as he enjoyed his college courses on such books, he didn’t want to live one.

Tenko got up and pulled Touya into the hallway, just far enough that they could talk but not far enough that Tenko couldn’t lean back and keep an eye on them.

“Midoriya-san is working on placement, but well. He was of the opinion that our apartment was the safest place for him. The yakuza are after them.”

Touya snorted. Of course Tenko got dragged into this.

“Well, Deku isn’t wrong. We’ve got what, four heroes and an almost doctor here? If Himiko can make it, we can add one spy to the list.”

“She’s not a spy.”

“Uh-huh. And Iguchi hasn’t adopted half his class.” Tenko opened his mouth to negate that statement but a pale-haired child peered around the corner.

“Who’s a spy?” of course that was what interested the angry child.

"You and I have a long walk home."

This would be a FMA fic, mostly because I want to just have shenanigans as Ed and Al get kicked off a train and have to walk back. Post the end of the series and they go through a town they’ve been through before. Very soft and very sweet. Some Teacher!Edward and alphonse getting to do a lot of things he couldn’t the first time around, like pet all the barn cats and fondle the freshly washed wool and being buried in cuddly sheep.

"We decided not to cry."

"The tears of a mermaid.” Ginko set the small bottle on the witch’s desk. She picked it up, tilting it before leveling a skeptical glare at him.

“These certainly aren’t.” She set the bottle down, but stopped him as he went to put them back in his pack.

“It doesn’t mean I don’t want them. I do want the story. What happened to the real tears?”

Ginko smiled, sitting down. The witch leaned over and lit another stick of incense. He voiced his thanks before launching into the story.

plot: mushishi episode basically. Will contain mermaids, mer-other things, and some potential murder.

#dashboard games #Vin Robles #BNHA fic #FMA fic #Well ideas at least.#dadzawa adopt dabi #Mailbox

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mobius-prime · 4 years ago

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294. Sonic Universe #16

Journey to the East (Part 4 of 4): A World Under Constant Vigil

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley Colors: Jason Jensen

So good ol' Espio's back from being a bad guy! Everyone's certainly surprised to see him, but Khan seems a little more than just surprised.

He's got a very fair point. I mean, let's be real, just how many friends would Sonic have left if he rejected everyone he's ever gotten into a physical fight with? Like two? Despite Sonic's words, Sally is suspicious of Espio as well, and when he informs her that he's only with the Iron Dominion because of his affiliation with the Shinobi Clan, she still insists that because of his previous actions she can't trust his word alone. So, he decides on a new tactic to gain their trust - by revealing all the dirt he has on each of them.

Oh, my god. I… honestly can't even imagine where that royal birthmark might be that's so embarrassing, first of all, given that she wears next to nothing all the time anyway. I suppose it'd have to be a place you really have to shift the fur around awkwardly to see. And second of all, look at Khan's freaking face! His reaction! This whole thing is just amazing. Khan still doesn't know what Espio is getting at, and no one really understands how this is supposed to make them trust him more, but Espio explains that his clan's entire philosophy is based on the collection of information, and by divulging it all, he's just lost any advantage over them he would have had, if he desired such a thing. That… doesn't necessarily make much sense and really just sounds like an excuse to have that page above of him hilariously spilling some secrets about the four heroes, but I digress! Espio blindfolds everyone and leads them to a secret cave, where they stand above a dark abyss, and he informs them that they must make it to the other side to meet with the bride of his clan before disappearing. Tails decides to try flying over, but Khan pulls him back before using his lightning powers to reveal a plethora of deadly traps hidden in the stalactites on the cave's roof.

Ah! Not quite the Indiana Jones leap of faith trick, but then again, this isn't a matte painting. Sonic, against Sally's wishes to take things slow, grabs a huge armful of dirt and races on ahead, bridging each break in the twisting path ahead through sheer speed like Mario over a one-tile gap and spreading the dirt everywhere so the path is plainly visible. They cross, expecting more tests, but to their surprise they end up immediately in the Bride of Constant Vigil's main chambers.

Shh! Khan, don't ruin the easiest set of negotiations you've had thus far! At first it really does seem like he's just mad they put so much effort into all this for the last clan to be so easy to win over, but when Sally makes him take a deep breath he reveals that the real reason he's angry is because he thinks the Shinobi Clan should have done more to stand up to the Iron Dominion and help the free people of the Dragon Kingdom. She calmly tells him that once upon a time the clan did just that, tried to act as the "police" of sorts to the Dragon Kingdom, and when they were nearly wiped out as a result they adopted their sneaky ways to survive. Definitely a reasonable position - but she then goes on to say that Espio has demonstrated to her with his actions that sometimes, those rules must be broken for the greater good. Espio, with his bride's permission, explains to everyone that he was never a native to Angel Island as everyone thought, but is rather a Shinobi spy sent to monitor the Brotherhood. W-wait, the Brotherhood? The ones who spied on everyone else across the entire globe for centuries?!

Right here, right now, the Shinobi Clan has earned my everlasting respect. They figured out early on exactly what I've been saying this whole time - that the Brotherhood is (or was, considering all but one member is dead now) shady as hell, and operating with extensive superpowers and no oversight essentially ensured that they became way too self-assured of their "right" to spy on, and potentially take over, the entire freaking world. I'm not even exaggerating here - remember their really creepy conversation in KtE#16 where they were talking about forcibly leading the planet into a new "golden age" under echidna guidance? The Shinobi are the smartest people on the goddamn planet for not only noticing what the hell was going on over there, but taking action to make sure it never went too far. It also adds a hilarious note of irony to the Brotherhood's ever-so-secretive nature - all this time they thought they were the ultimate spies, watching over all of Mobius to look after "echidna interests," with one of them even stationed directly in the Dragon Kingdom, and yet they never suspected for a moment that someone else was watching them.

Anyway, Espio goes on to recount from here how Valdez was his predecessor, keeping tabs on Locke, and when Espio was chosen as his successor he helped him settle into the Rainbow Valley on Angel Island, pretending to be just another local. Espio watched Knuckles for basically the entire time he was alone on the island after Locke disappeared, and the only reason he was permitted to reveal himself at all was due to an emergency, when the Freedom Fighters were captured and Knuckles was stripped of his powers in the Knuckles Chaotix special. His feelings eventually got the better of him, and he became close to Knuckles and the others despite being under orders to remain secretive.

Oh, boy. Even when your mom's the leader of a ninja clan, it's still hard not to be excited when she lets you do something fun, huh Espio? Espio is overjoyed to be free of his former duties, but Constant Vigil remains serious, reminding Khan that he has his work cut out for him in the future. In response, he takes the plain power ring band from his head and, uh… makes a fist around part of it, and after a flash of light there's some kind of little sigil on it. I can only assume this is meant to signify he's accepted his role as King of the Free People, but I have no idea how he just randomly decorated his bit of jewelry with no real effort. Constant Vigil offers to have her clan ensure the heroes' safe journey back to their own kingdom, and when Sonic points out that they don't seem like they can spare the muscle due to the lack of guards, several dozen chameleons melt out of the shadows, revealing they've been watching the conversation all along. Man, I really like these guys. The next day, the heroes thank Li Yuen for hosting them before flying back out, ready to retake their city and break the grip of the Iron Dominion for good.

#nala reads archie sonic preboot #archie sonic #archie sonic preboot #sonic the hedgehog #su 16 #writer: ian flynn #pencils: tracy yardley #colors: jason jensen

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foxsimthings · 5 years ago

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Jerica Riley for @lotusplum ‘s Benny BC!

I hope everything checks out okay! This is my first time doing one of these so I mostly went off how I had seen other people go about it bc apparently that’s just how I learn everything now. I also hope you enjoy looking over her stuff as much as I enjoyed working on it! <3

Jerica Riley (@j.riles.u.up) was making money off simstagram when she was sixteen. Fourth of her sisters with a four-year gap between herself and the second youngest, she was expected to follow the same path into science. Their parents were wholly clever people, a radiologist and a cardiologist that found love under fluorescent lights. But her passion was fashion, design, funky photography. She wasn’t famous from her simstagram, but well known around San Myshuno where she grew up.

But where the mistakes of teens go unnoticed by most, Jerica’s were made in the public eye. And her younger years were rowdy, to put it gently. Men she should have stayed away from, parties she should never have gone to, tattoos she could(spoiler, would) regret. And all of it was online for the world to see.

She was nineteen when Aspen was born. The internet saw her baby girl still swaddled in hospital linens, saw the sweet baby clothes Jerica stayed up late nights crafting, babe on her breast in one hand and a sewing needle in the other. And before long she was making her own clothes as well. Though she would never consider Aspen a mistake, reviews on the young woman’s choices were unpopular. She was told often that it was selfish to keep her, that she was too young for a child, not responsible enough, too wild. But no opinion could change her mind, and though doing it alone was difficult, she had not a single regret when it came to her daughter.

Life as a young single mother took her from the public eye for a while, but now that Aspen is older the world is seeing them both again. Between attending UBrite to pursue her newfound passion for fashion design and working with the fabrics herself, staying up late nights sketching new designs for her future clothing line, raising a rowdy seven-year-old far too much like her and maintaining an online following, one would think her far too busy for love. But love, like many things, relies on being in the right place at the right time, just like her parents meeting all those years ago in the austere hospital halls.

That, and Aspen was pretty certain her mom being on TV would be ‘sicc’.

~~Fun Facts~~

She says the scar on the bridge of her nose was from a fight. Lie detector tests prove that that is a lie. She had suctioned a cup to her face as a tween and ran into a wall. This also chipped a few of her back molars.

Jerica was in a rock band as a teenager. They were called RoadThrash and they were horrible. She still has their first performance on DVD somewhere.

Aspen is absolutely Jerica’s best friend. They’ve traveled the world together and there’s still plenty more on their mother-daughter bucket list.

She learned to cook from her mother’s side of the family. Although she couldn’t throw together an apple pie if her life depended on it, she can whip up bibimbap with her eyes closed and nothing in the fridge.

Jerica has designed and made a tuxedo for a potbelly pig to wear at his owner’s wedding. His name was Gerald, and she has a framed picture of him and his humans in her office.

She’s very clever with her money and has no problems getting her hands dirty. Though she may not know everything, she can learn. And if it’s broken, she’ll be the first to roll up her sleeves, pop open the hood and shine a light inside.

Though she identifies as pansexual, she leans more into relationships with women. Especially now that she’s mellowed out a bit, the urge to goof off with guys that are no good for her has thankfully died down(though the wannabe rock icon still lives on within her somewhere).

Jerica’s very ambitious. Everything she has she’s earned on her own. The pride that runs in her family kept her from ever asking for help, so she’s only ever known to knuckle down and get it done herself.

As much of a fashion nut as Jerica is, she still changes into her extremely old and baggy sweatpants as soon as she gets home, and her secret is that she’s actually terrible at doing her makeup. Her skincare routine is rigorous only so she doesn’t have to learn about contouring, or baking, or whatever.

More than anything she’s excited for the potential to try something new, meet some new people, find love??? and anything in between. Plus, great simstagram content! #bacheloretting

#bennybcentry #bennysbachelorette #ts4 cas #ts4 bachelorette #lotusplum #hello #i'm hoping i don't RUIN this one again #i don't think it's as good as the last one tho #literally end my life

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panelshowsource · 6 years ago

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adfjghlkjfhgd she is my #1 fan...i’m just that cool...

hahahahah i diiiiiid know that... they broke up quite a while ago (2017? 2 lazy 2 check her ig and confirm) and he’s dated people since, but it’s definitely funny to see them on hypothetical with that in mind, for example! i’m glad it seems they’re still kind friends

thank you anon! i have definitely seen people say good things about it, so when i have time i might branch out. i tend to use my free time for this blog and my main, but next time i have a long cab ride i might check it out...

i did of course i did!!!! simon farnaby stan forever!!!! paddington is god! shoutout to @idiots-assembled for running such an amazing, quality blog!

hahaha anon! well dara is known for doing a lot of maths and science programmes, and brian cox is also a scientist and tv presenter, so that’s where they cross paths in people’s minds. you’ve probably seen jokes like this one, right? the jokes are either that they are in love oooor they’re rivals — but what’s better than a little love and hate?

i loooooooooove graham nortoooooooon ahhh his was actually the only british programme i was ever able to get my family into! my mom still texts me on the weekends to tell me how funny he is after a new episode, and she bought me one of his autobiographies for christmas, hah! he is good egg 10/10

haha his positive energy is what makes him miles! and one of our beloveds! i’m so glad you all are enjoying radio panel shows! there’s so many comedians who aren’t deemed tv-able who get to shine on those programmes and i love that — and ofc the news quiz specifically since it’s always working to be more inclusive :’)

i genuinely have no idea who it is... there was a time i thought i had a decent clue, but i was really just projecting my own opinions onto him lmao who do you think? with tea there must come shade >:)

sure!

(i feel a little weary voting myself since i haven’t listened to all the other potential contestants, but good luck to all!)

i do wonder because i would loooooove to see her on tm! i wouldn’t hold my breath because she is very busy with bakeoff, qi, and her other writing, but i do think she gets a real kick out of hanging out with other comedians she respects. i also wouldn’t hold my breath for a “best of” kind of special; alex has said a couple times it’s never good when you can predict everyone will do well or everyone will do badly. i think he thinks that mix of responses and techniques is what makes the show so suspenseful, you could say, and therefore engaging! i think i agree with him, but i would be lying if i said i didn’t want to see, like, roisin, joe wilkinson, paul, nish, and liza tarbuck try and nail a team challenge. the chaos! it could be the end of taskmaster as we know it!!!

aww anon thank you 😚 it’s so nice everyone wants to have fun watching panel shows with me, i’m so grateful!

hey anon, i have answered something similar to this a few times! it really just takes a lot of exposure, i guess, but i’m definitely well past that point now, thankfully! :)

that is so surprise to me at all. there are ways in which you can you can tell he is a sensitive person who wants the best for people, especially in “real life” (i think i gathered this from his politics tbh); i’d also want those people around me since they’re all so unique, positive, and supportive. i think it speaks to the kind of person frankie is, really!

desiree burch isn’t one of my personal favourites, but i can see how as an american there are certain britcom dynamics and environments she can’t properly integrate into...that is sort of the nature of being a foreigner! of course there are more specific criticisms to her i’m sure you could argue, but it’s always going to be hit and miss depending on the show, the panelist, the other panelists, the topics, etc. *cute shrug*

the short answer is no, i really don’t... game shows have an absolutely different (and often negative) reputation in the states, for one: celebrities who appear on any reality or game show are considered desperate for work (this is excluding shows like lip synch battle and SNL) and these types of programmes are considered daytime tv or kind of trashy. i thought the fix on netflix might bridge the gap a little but i’m not sure it did. it doesn’t seem to suit american comics to sit around and shoot the shit about serious topics; in a way, that is what podcasts are for. americans fall flat doing one-liners waaaay more often than british comedians unless that is part of their persona. katherine ryan is a great example of a non-british comedian who has nailed really short bits or quick jokes with great delivery that always lands — without feeling too performative. but a part of the issue is that american audiences like comedy that is performative, that is bombastic, that is a segment (i’m not trying to quantify all americans’ tastes, i am referring to the majority that determines whether something gets to achieve mainstream success). that is not good for panel shows; catsdown is very lucky is has a mascot segment at the beginning because it pretty much ends there (RIP room 101). this is likely the reason taskmaster us didn’t make it past one season. it’s just too subtle; it’s not understandable or able to be summarised in a one-minute clip. i just don’t think the market exists... but if you disagree, i’m interested to hear why!

any time anon! it’s tooooo sweet! i hope you got a chance to listen to the radio version too, it cracks me up :’)

aw, you’re welcome from over here in nyc! let me know if you ever need help finding something

f.a.q. // tags // watch links masterpost

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thalia-amongst-the-thorns · 6 years ago

Text

Angsty Q & A

Oh boy kids, strap in because this is a loooong one since @all-made-of-stardust asked for all of my main characters with all of the odd numbers from this post.

Answers under the cut because this got a teeny bit away from me.

Mae Niwot

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid? Pretty much the majority of her life from age twelve to sixteen while her mom was stationed overseas. Mae put up a good front for her dad but every call at home scared the bejeezus out of her because she feared it’d be the one telling them her mom died in combat. That and a few instances with farm life (riding a horse that went out of her control, shooting a shotgun for the first time, etc.) that she got over relatively quickly.

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them? Her grandfather on her father’s side from old age/heart issues; it helped bridge some of the issues her dad has with his family and by extension, Mae. She’s now closer with her father’s family and regrets that she didn’t know her grandfather that well before his passing but has learned a lot about him from the rest of her dad’s family.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves? Nope, never. It goes against Mae’s core principle of defending those who can’t defend themselves and trying to solve conflict with non-violent solutions first.

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why? See answer to previous question.

9. Is the character a victim of abuse? No; Mae has a lot going on, especially with some emotional strain from her family and self-expectations, but not abuse.

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms? After her mom came back home and showed signs of PTSD, Mae spent a lot of time reading up on the subject and talking with her school’s counselor, who thankfully had good insights that Mae was able to use to help her family, along with talking to people from the National Center for PTSD to help her mom. Now a days Mae applies some of these methods for her own mental well-being; mindfulness meditation, communicating her feelings clearly, along with physical stuff like kick boxing and gardening.

13. What does it take to make your character cry? Mae’s not afraid to show her emotions but doesn’t like making people uncomfortable with overemotional displays. If she feels comfortable, she’ll cry about anything that pulls at her heart strings; people suffering, injustice, sunrises, the goodness of people.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared? Her family getting hurt, being unable to protect someone, hurting someone needlessly, her leadership leading to one of her friends getting hurt. In general Mae’s one of those people less scared of physical things which are easily punch-able or can be talked down as opposed to nebulous feelings like Failure and Disappointment which you just have to grit your teeth and suffer through. However, there’s a good reason Mae’s the leader; even scared she can compartmentalize and plan a path of action, only giving in to fear and tears when she has reassured herself that the danger has passed and it is now safe to do so.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not? Not afraid, but she certainly doesn’t want to. Given that she’s taken up superhero-ing she’s had to make peace with the fact that this is a very real possibility for her. She thinks the good she’s doing outweighs the risks though and would willingly lay her life down to save another’s. She’s one of those Self-Sacrifice Heroes.

19. What is your character insecure about? Mae’s pretty good emotionally, honestly; like all kids she went through phases of being insecure with her body but has come to terms with that and kicks ass with her thick arms. Again, worries about leading her rag-tag group of super friends, but their trust in her boosters her own confidence. She is a bit insecure about her self-identity sometimes; she’s biracial, mom’s white, dad’s Arapaho, and their marriage led to some…complications with his family. While trying to reconnect with her extended family Mae sometimes felt like an outsider on both sides, not fully included in either group, not white or Arapaho, just lost.

21. Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them? If so, who are they and what is your character’s relation to them? If not, do they wish they did? Is there anyone they wish they could build such a relationship with? Have I mentioned Mae would basically lay her life down to save anyone in her care? Literally anyone? If you made Mae do the Trolley Problem she’d pull an Option C and throw herself on the tracks so that everyone else lives. There is no hierarchy to Mae’s devotion for everyone’s wellbeing; she’d save a friend as likely as a stranger.

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this? Mae is easily the most emotionally stable of the group and actively seeks passing on coping mechanisms/emotional balance to others. She’s also the Oklahoma State Girls’ Kickboxing and Boxing Championship winner five years running and bench presses 200lbs. She believes in nurturing both a strong body and mind, plus farm life favors the strong.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them? Eh, Mae cares a bit, especially when she hurts someone or if a friend is upset with her, but for the most part she’s fine leaving people to their opinions.

27. What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion? Seeing no way out besides killing yourself.

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most? Mae’s very accomplished with her powers of plant and earth manipulation (lot of practice out on the farm) and with her fists from years of boxing and kickboxing, combining both in very effective use against villains. She’s also made a point of studying up and practicing basic weapons skills with various guns and knives to better combat foes using them, though she’s not very fond of any alien tech since it usually throws her off because she most definitely did not study up on laser beams.

Daniel Tarson

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid? There have been a few villains who have had the powers or technology to cut Daniel off from his own powers completely. Since Daniel’s been in constant communication with animals from birth and views his shapeshifting as an intrinsic part of himself as valuable as a sense of morality or sight, this is…very bad. Daniel’s sense of self and his powers are one and the same. Without them he is adrift. His head is unnerving quiet without the constant thoughts of his animal brethren. Senses dulled to a human’s pitiful capabilities. Without them Daniel is disoriented, lost, panicked, almost to the point of a mental breakdown, unsure of his own being and dissociative.

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them? A bit odd by human standards, but Daniel truly views all animals as his brothers and sisters and mourns any of there passing as deeply as a human friend. There have been multiple instances of this over his life considering he grew up on his aunt’s wildlife preservation which often took in injured animals with the hope of rehabilitation that didn’t always end happily; each was painful but helped Daniel gain a unique appreciation for the naturalness of death.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves? Nah, Danny boy’s not big on leaving behind potential new members of his pack.

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why? There’re some poachers he would take particular pleasure in taking down The Most Dangerous Game style…

9. Is the character a victim of abuse? Abuse, no. Neglect? Maybe. His parents took on a bit of a hands-off approach, leaving a gap his aunt tried to fill.

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms? Animal thoughts are less complex than humans. Less rules. Animals are more straight forward in their wants and needs, lacking the stupidly complex hang-ups that come with human like guilt, shame, avarice. When things get bad, when Daniel doesn’t want to feel human anymore with all the baggage that comes with it, he’ll slip into a different skin and let his humanity slide sideways in favor of the comforting simplicity of animal nature…

13. What does it take to make your character cry? Daniel is a pretty chill dude; it takes a lot to upset him and usually that just results in anger rather than sadness. That said, hurting him emotionally with no means for him to take it out physically brings on tears.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared? Losing his connection to his (animal) family is up there, but losing any member of his (super friends) pack is unimaginable. When scared Daniel falls back on animalistic tendencies, puffing up, baring teeth, probably some minor shape shifting to get actual fangs and claws, trying to show the scary thing that he’s the most terrifying thing in the room.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not? Nah, death is a natural part of the animal kingdom and life in general, how you live is what’s important. Daniel is very much a “live in the moment” chill dude.

19. What is your character insecure about? Listen; Daniel has no shame. Shame is a human construct that confuses him since no one has been able to adequately explain it beyond “It’s just something you feel, you naked weirdo!”. Frankly, this whole thing sounds like an elaborate hoax and you should stop buying into it.

21. Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them? If so, who are they and what is your character’s relation to them? If not, do they wish they did? Is there anyone they wish they could build such a relationship with? His aunt who basically raised him and any member of his team, but especially Mae once they start dating though he recognizes that she can take care of herself.

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this? Even if he’s a bit “off” by human standards, Daniel’s very confident, self-assure, and happy with his emotional state. That said, he’s one of the heavy hitters on the team for good reason, so we’ll go with physically strong.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them? Daniel is just super happy with himself and wants everyone to feel the same way about themselves. Jury’s still out if he’s intentionally ignoring complaints or just really dense or just really confidant.

27. What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion? After watching his friends die.

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most? Good old fisticuffs combined with whatever creature he changes into, though Daniel’s particularly fond of grizzly bears and gray wolf as they give him power and finesse. He doesn’t have a lot of experience in armed combat, but the only weapon he “dislikes” is guns due to some unfortunate mix ups on the preservation that led to him getting hunted down and shot.

Sasha Hile

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid? She didn’t understand what was going on at the time, but when she was like four Sasha ate something that didn’t react well to her half-alien physiology and went into anaphylactic shock which was already horrifying enough, but what really got to her was seeing her dads panic over what to do. It was a rather abrupt moment to realize that her parents might not actually be all powerful.

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them? …You know what, she hasn’t. Her Daddy’s a secret alien refugee whose extended family are light years away and her Pop’s got a loving and supportive extended family that she cherishes; Sasha’s only been to one funeral for one of her Daddy’s work colleagues she never met.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves? No, all strangers are friends you haven’t met yet! And you don’t abandon friends!

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why? The villain that killed Ed.

9. Is the character a victim of abuse? Their dads have made sure to provide Sasha and Jacklyn with a loving and supportive household, and the two have had an excellent home and social life.

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms? Compilation videos of cute animals in boxes, putting Ariana Grande on blast and dancing out negative emotions, ice cream even if it’ll kill her, baking shows, talking things out and expressing her emotions.

13. What does it take to make your character cry? Girl will cry about not being able to handle a kitten being too small and cute. All emotions are felt and expressed 110%.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared? Rejection and that people secretly hate her, that her dads will be disappointed in her. Also, not very fond of enclosed spaces, but not to the point of phobia. Due to her alien physiology Sasha’s skin glows a different color based on her emotions, with a deep shale grey for fear making it quite obvious when she’s scared. She tends to curl in on herself, mind screaming, mouth mumbling, and latches on to the closest person for moral support/comfort, probably some tears.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not? No, but in that way were teenagers aren’t scared because death happens to other people, not them. She’s a bit careless and reckless when she starts off as a superhero, especially with her own safety, but quickly gets shaken out of that mindset for the most part.

19. What is your character insecure about? As a gymnast Sasha gets a lot of pressure about her body and appearance from all sides; she tries to ignore the noise, but it gets to her in terms of clothes and self-importance. She also can’t help comparing herself to her twin, Jacklyn, who applies herself to academics rigorously while Sasha’s not the greatest student. Sasha also struggles with her identity; being half alien’s hard enough without your dad refusing to tell you anything about it.

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this? A good fighter, Sasha’s a lot more in touch with her emotions given her powers literally color code them for her and is naturally very empathetic and likes to talk with and listen to people’s problems and provide solutions.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them? She tries to be confident and self-assured and all smiles on the outside, but deep-down Sasha cares and wants people to like and need her.

27. What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion? Buried alive; slow, painful, sends shivers down her spine.

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most? Sasha’s got a good handle on her powers, energy blasts that give her range and a lot of punch, with her acrobatic skills providing her support if someone fights her in close quarters. That said, she’s not fond of knives, bit messy and too personal for her tastes.

Ed Washio

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid? Two years of being kidnapped and experimented on for unknown purposes, unsure if his parents were still searching for him, shuttled between being strapped down on a table with tubes shoved in his throat and a stark cage, mind so addled by drugs he was only dimly aware of the other failed children subjects being wheeled past him in body bags. The fear that his parents didn’t want him. That this pain was his life now.

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them? Ed’s lost both his grandparents on his father’s side, both to heart complications. He wasn’t especially close to them, and his parents weren’t very effected by it either, so it didn’t seem like a big deal.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves? Oh, hell yeah, if you can’t handle it then sucks to be you buddy.

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why? One would be hard to pick, but Dr. Rajinder is high on the list…

9. Is the character a victim of abuse? Both physical and emotional. Even once he escaped captivity and returned home things weren’t great. One of the reasons why he’s so shut off from others, bit of a self-preservation thing.

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms? Emotionally closed off from others, distances himself by belittling and acting indifferent to other’s needs, putting on a mask of over confidence to hide his deep running insecurities of inadequacy.

13. What does it take to make your character cry? Ed doesn’t do expressing emotions besides derision and self-loathing.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared? Hospitals and doctors; unless he prepares himself for it, he’ll go into a full-on panic attack, yelling and unable to process anything but the burning desire to leave right now. More generally he’s got a bit of stage fright.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not? Not a bit; his power of invulnerability is so complete he’s a bit arrogant about his inability to get hurt, let alone die.

19. What is your character insecure about? …heheHAHAHAHAHA— His relationship with his parents, disappointing his family, that his brother’s right about him, that something’s broken inside him, he’s a failure and will never succeed at anything, he’d be better off dead from the experimentation--

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this? Boy is an emotional train wreck and actually not that great a fighter until his secondary mutation kicks in and he can bench press a bus, so physically. Eventually.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them? He likes to act like he doesn’t give a shit, but the boy gives many, many shits, especially about what his parents think.

27. What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion? He can’t so it doesn’t matter. On an operating table after waking up mid surgery

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most? Being a stubborn prick sometimes, Ed didn’t put a lot of stock in actually learning how to fight since his powers meant he could never be hurt. Over time he’s learned that even if he’ll be okay, he needs to be able to defend other people and is pretty decent at hand to hand combat. Not great with guns, his aim’s pretty shitty and Marcus teases him mercilessly about it.

Marcos Powell

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid? The first time he was left in charge of looking after his sister and promptly lost her while at the mall; there were a lot of tears, yelling, and panicking about his looming death via chancla. Three hours and an amber alert later, he wasn’t even sure if he was happy to see her again after she was fished out of the kid center ball pit.

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them? His dad when he was around fifteen from skin cancer. It was a slow process and rocked the family emotionally and financially. Since his passing Marcos has tried to step up as the “man of the house” as it were, treating his five siblings more like his kids than his brothers and sisters, picking up as many part time gigs as he can to help take pressure off his mom, and kind of letting his personal life go on the wayside.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves? No way man, and he’s got a pretty good out for you with teleportation.

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why? He’d make some joke about going back in time to kill M. Night Shyamalan before he made The Happening, but this boy isn’t killing anyone.

9. Is the character a victim of abuse? Nope!

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms? Jokes: if you’re laughing, you can’t cry!

13. What does it take to make your character cry? A good rom-com or the beauty of a Mike Mignola original sketch.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared? Letting down the memory of his dad or failing his family, his mom dying. More generally he’s a bit squicked out by things with unnecessary multiple eyes or mouths. Marcos is the kind to nervous talk when scared, so a lot of rambling in an increasingly high voice.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not? Yeah; it was painful watching his dad waste away and he wouldn’t want to put his family through that emotional trauma again. It runs at odds with the whole superhero gig; originally it was about doing something fun that connected him with his dad, but the gravity of the whole things starts to weigh on him when Marcos realizes death is a very real possibility when fighting crime.

19. What is your character insecure about? Good healthy body image and financial insecurities.

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this? Emotionally; jokes aside, Marcos is genuinely caring and nurturing and wants to make people feel better. Boy’s also about as strong as overcooked spaghetti.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them? Generally, Marcos doesn’t care and enjoys doing his own thing, but if you’re someone close to him (family and friends) he cares deeply what you think about him.

27. What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion? …Cancer.

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most? His cutting wit and charm! Aka, annoying villains with taunts and teleporting away so other people can land blows. Hates swords because all films ever lied and they’re a bitch to use properly.

Raiqah Damji

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid? The first (and only) time she tried to take down a supervillain solo, led to a lot of tears, panicking, and ultimately failure. Fighting scares the bejeezus out of her and she feels tremendous pressure to make sure everyone gets out okay and that big guy with flaming fists is trying to hit her oh god oh god she could die--!

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them? An aunt and cousin in a car accident; it was a sober moment that brought Raiqah closer to her uncle and strengthened her faith.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves? No and I am insulted you would ask.

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why? How dare you.

9. Is the character a victim of abuse? Nope no no.

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms? Getting quiet and internalizing everything, trying to make herself as small as possible, writing her thoughts out, playing the piano, panicking and doing whatever is asked of her.

13. What does it take to make your character cry? Raising your voice around her.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared? Disappointing her parents, snakes, spiders, public speaking, fighting, almost everything to some degree. When scared Raiqah gets tongue tied and has trouble breathing, usually curls in on herself and covers her ears/eyes to block out the object of fear.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not? Yes; death is scary and full of unknown variables, but she takes comfort in the guidance of Allah when she eventually passes.

19. What is your character insecure about? Everything; expressing her opinions, talking, what people think about her, being overeager, not doing enough to help people, being selfish, not performing well in school, disappointing her parents—

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this? Oh, emotionally; she may be timid and worried, but Raiqah’s emotionally mature and wise beyond her years and provides excellent advice and insights when you ask for them.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them? She cares. So much.

27. What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion? Any way, why are you talking about this????

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most? Raiqah doesn’t really do “fighting”; she’s more about defense, providing energy shields and using psychokinesis to disarm or restrain opponents and very much hates violence and using any weapon.

Angie Hua

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid? The first time Palivāńkum overcame her mind and nearly made her destroyed her father’s psyche.

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them? No, but there have been a few close calls with older relatives, not to mention the whole “god taking over my mind and trying to destroy my father and brother” thing.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves? Not intentionally, but sometimes it’s not up to her.

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why? Do gods count?

9. Is the character a victim of abuse? Emotional abuse and manipulation from Palivāńkum as they try to assert dominance over her mind and body, and later from her father. Only one of these relationships improves…

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms? Internalize all issues for later. Loud music, coffee, and throwing herself into menial tasks. Since Palivāńkum knows everything that goes on inside her head, Angie has to be careful about getting to wrapped up in negative emotions that Pali can take advantage of to get a foothold in Angie��s mind, but when she has a quiet moment to herself Angie will give her emotions due consideration.

13. What does it take to make your character cry? Not exactly a “crier”, but Angie’ll cry from emotional stress and fear if pushed to her breaking point.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared? Being over taken mind and soul by a forgotten god of revenge who will use her to twist and warp the psyche of those it deems deserving of punishment, which turns out to be basically everyone. Possessing someone and killing in their body. Not returning to her own body in time while possessing someone. Hurting her family. When scared Angie freezes up, deer in the headlights style, trying to grapple with whatever is scaring her.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not? Yes. Death is an unknown that could be worse than her current situation, something Palivāńkum takes advantage of.

19. What is your character insecure about? Over time Angie took it upon herself to cultivate a sense of self confidence to combat society bullshit and just, yah know, to feel better about herself. Thus, her metamorphosis into a rocking goth punk goddess with multicolored hair and blasts the Sex Pistols who wears what she likes. She’s up there with Daniel in terms of having no shame for insecurities to exploit. That said; there’s a god in her head that wants to fully take over her mind and fucking take vengeance upon all sinful humans who she has to constantly restrain and placate and if she slips up once then everyone’s doomed. Just that tiny little thing…

21. Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them? If so, who are they and what is your character’s relation to them? If not, do they wish they did? Is there anyone they wish they could build such a relationship with? In a way Angie views her relationship as Palivāńkum’s keeper a bit like giving up her life for the sake of her family and later on everyone else. Any chance of a normal life was forfeit when Palivāńkum marked her and for a time all Angie saw in her future was forever wrestling with a petulant god for humanity’s sake.

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this? Angie relies on the vast mental powers Palivāńkum grants her instead of physical confrontation; at the same time, much as she tries not to intrude on people’s inner thoughts without permission, Angie also gets baseline telepathic link with anyone near her that she uses to provide emotional insights and help people work through whatever is troubling their minds. She’s also very sure of her own emotions and who she is, which provides stability amongst all the other craziness in her life.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them? Angie doesn’t give a shit about any aesthetic issues people take with her. Palivāńkum’s presence though makes her sensitive to people thinking she’s a monster, that she agrees with Palivāńkum and wants to carry out their wishes, that she enjoys the tremendous power granted to her and mentally torturing people…

27. What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion? Having your memories wiped away, so that your final moments are a wave of confusion and fear with no thoughts you can draw upon to comfort you as you’re killed.

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most? When possessing someone Angie has full access to their memories and abilities, including their experience with weapons. Supervillain fighting means that she has experienced battle as a variety of skilled opponents wielding from machine guns to laser blasters, but she’s especially fond of possessing anyone with swordsmanship skills, rather taken with the grace and ferocity of the technique. She least likes having to use novelty weapons (think like batarangs or star bolts) which just seem so needlessly extra.

Nobody

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid? Her parents being killed in front of her, powerless to stop it and being snatched away by those same killers. Locked away for five years, her body cut open, studied, cut again, knowing that there was no one left alive to come for her and stop it.

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them? Ever member of her family is dead; three of her grandparents died before she was born and the last around when she was a year old, so not a lot of emotional attachment. Her parents were beaten and shot in front of her. A bit of her was lost that day, a her that wasn’t consumed by revenge.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves? Yes, routinely.

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why? Dr. Rajinder. Slowly, since it’s personal…

9. Is the character a victim of abuse? Both physical and mental due to Dr. H. Forsberg.

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms? Shoving people away, not making personal attachments, hurting them before they can hurt her, putting her well-being and wants before others’, picking fights just to feel better about herself when she wins, never showing emotions beyond rage and annoyance.

13. What does it take to make your character cry? For the first few months of her imprisonment and experimentation Nobody cried constantly until she realized that her tears did nothing to stop her suffering and only made the doctors hurt her more. A quiet patient was treated with leniency, so she was silent. She hasn’t cried since. No one will hurt her again.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared? Hospitals, doctors, and enclosed spaces. Mind readers and anyone who can influence thoughts. Emotions and failing in her mission. Nobody doesn’t just get scared, she gets angry that she’s scared and tends to lash out, punching whatever the thing is to get it to stop.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not? Not really; death didn’t come to her when she wanted it and she made peace with it. Plus, she’s a lot harder to kill now.

19. What is your character insecure about? Nobody doesn’t give fuck what anybody thinks about her and will be sure to tell you about it with her fists. She is 100% confident in all her decisions, as they all verve her ultimate goal to kill the Doc.

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this? Girl is an emotional garbage bag but will fight anyone and usually wins; physically strong given her time living homeless on the streets and having to defend herself.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them? She really, really doesn’t care. One cannot fathom the depths her uncaring sinks.

27. What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion? With Dr. Rajinder smiling, alive and well, as he cut her open for the last time.

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most? Fists primarily, but over time Nobody’s collected a goody bag of weapons for her disposal; a Jericho 941, an array of switchblades and knives, and a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. She’s a good shot and her ability to regenerate make her an unpredictable and reckless fighter, willing to take a hit if it means she gets the chance to stab you in the back. She dislikes the impersonal nature of poisons; she’s very much about getting her hands dirty, otherwise where’s the fun.in the fight?

#oc squad #ask game #everyone has super powers and angst #i apologise in advance #and congratulate anyone who actually finished reading this whole monster

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preservationandruin · 7 years ago

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Oathbringer Liveblog, Part Five: Chapters 116-118

Alright, let’s go, it’s not like things can get worse (knocking on wood right fucking now, don’t worry)

Things actually do get worse, Navani proves that Jasnah’s kickass comes from her maternal lineage, Renarin gets a POV finally, Szeth makes a vow and loses something really important, Kaladin runs out of stormlight at the wrong moment, Meridas Amaram might be eating a rock, and Dalinar figures out the answer to a very important question.

Anyway, Kaladin is heading out from beneath the trees, and he thinks--he thinks he hears wind.

He’d come far in the last half year. He seemed a man distant from the one who had carried bridges against Parshendi arrows. That man had welcomed death, but now--even on the bad days, when everything was cast in greys--he defied death. It could not have him, for while life was painful, life was also sweet.

HE’S COME SO FAR. He’s determined--today, he’s going to protect Dalinar. And he walks up to the fused--who are very confused that literally one man is trying to fight them--and draws in all of his stormlight at once. He has flashbacks to everything he’s done, everything he’s overcome. And he takes to the sky.

Meanwhile, Dalinar is stumbling as a second fucking thunderclast rips itself out of the ground to attack. He’s just like...jogging down to the battle carrying The Way of Kings. Dalinar, what are you doing?

How was Amaram faring?

NOT SO GOOD HE’S GONE EVIL

And then the Thrill hits Dalinar, like an old friend, if an old friend hit you and tried to drag you into murder. So if your old friend was Kelsier and he was in a mood.

And Dalinar pushes the thrill away, turning the corner--and there’s the thunderclast. Great. We’re just bouncing between the frying pan and the fire here.

Oh, god, it burst through the wall and killed people--almost Dalinar, too, but he had stormlight.

OH NO THEY’RE GOING FOR THE GEMSTONE RESERVE.

Dalinar and Stormy don’t know why, but I think I do and I really don’t like it!

Dalinar takes a moment to save his book before he goes running back up the street.

They managed to get the Ruby from--looks like probably Rysn and Vstim. Shit. And Dalinar just realized that the Sadeas forces have glowing red eyes.

FUCK ME.

Back over to Jasnah, because things aren’t bad enough.

That is a spren of Odium, Ivory said. Corrupted spren. But...a human, bonded to one? This thing is not. “It is,” Jasnah whispered. “Somehow.” She was now close enough to hear Renarin whispering. “No...Not Father. No, please...”

OH, REN.

Back over to Shallan lightweaving. Meanwhile, Kaladin is really having fun, apparently. She’s made a false-army for Adolin to get through to the Oathgate.

“We’ll be fine,” Adolin glanced at Syl, Pattern, and the spren of his sword. “Right, guys?” “Mmmmm,” Pattern said. “I do not like being stabbed.” “Wise words, friend. Wise words.”

Adolin interacting with literally anyone is great.

And Shallan starts talking to the Oathgate spren.

Back over to Venli--apparently, there’s a “single black figure of swirling smoke” standing by Odium that is one of the spren, the size of a normal person. The Fused deliver the King’s Drop to him, and we get THIS ominous bit:

“No,” Odium said. “that is merely a precaution, a last-minute addition I made to prevent a potential disaster. The prize I claim today is far greater--even more grand than the city itself. The conduit of my freedom. The bane of Roshar.”

Well, we have like seven more books, so I kinda doubt it. Shut the fuck up, Rayse.

Anyway, Kal is having the time of his life flying around. He manages to steal one of their lances--the same kind that he was noting were so good all the way back when he was with the Parshmen in Alethkar!--and he decides that he’s going to do it--he’s going to prove that he belongs in the skies with these creatures.

We head over to Gawx, who’s pacing in his ship. He thinks they should go back, but the Viziers are arguing with him.

“You were chosen,” Unoqua said, “by Yaezir himself to lead--” “I was chosen,” Yanagawn cut in, “because nobody would shed a tear if the Assassin in White came for me! Let’s not play games, all right?” “You performed a miracle,” Unoqua said. “Lift performed a miracle. Using powers you now saw are too dangerous to trust!

Fuckin wreck them Gawx. Anyway, Lift got away from them--one of the guards was supposed to keep her busy, but she stuffed him under the bed--but unfortunately, they then get the report that the Alethi turned on the Thaylens. Great.

Back to Shallan! They say they were locked by Honor. Apparently, they can’t disobey. Fuck.

Meanwhile, Szeth is being asked by Nale--who rightfully owns Roshar? Whose laws should the Skybreakers follow?

Nightblood has some opinions:

Don’t be stupid, the sword said. Let’s go fight those guys. “The parshmen? They are the rightful rulers of this land,” Szeth said. Rightful? Who has a right to land? Humans are always claiming things. But nobody asks the things now do they? Well, nobody owns me. Vivenna told me. I’m my own sword. “I have no choice.” Really? Didn’t you tell me you spent a thousand years following the instructions of a rock? “More than seven years, sword-nimi. And I didn’t follow the rock, but the words of the one who held it. I...” ...Had no choice? But it had always been nothing more than a rock.

I think we’re getting a Crucial Moment for Szeth here.

Kal is leading the fused on a chase in the skies. Shallan signals that she needs more time, and Kal keeps going, managing to disarm this one Fused for the second time in the fight.

One of these--the male with the white face swirled with red--moved forward alone, then pointed at Kaladin with his lance and said something. “I don’t speak your language,” Kaladin called back. “But if that was a challenge, you against me, I accept. Gladly.” At that moment, his Stormlight ran out.

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT KAL

Anyway, over to Navani. She is trying to get Queen Fen out of the area safely. And the controlled ranks part, making way for a single parshwoman--Venli. AND THEN

A solitary figure had somehow gotten around the troops who had already entered the city. He now picked his way across the rubble, wearing a blue uniform, carrying a book tucked under his arm. Unaided and defenseless, Dalinar Kholin stepped into the gap in the broken wall, and there faced the nightmare alone.

DALINAR WHY

This next chapter is named “Champion with Nine Shadows” so of course shit is about to go down. I don’t like this at all.

A deadly storm. Dalinar faced it alone. One man. All that remained of a broken dream. “So...” a sudden voice said from his right. “What’s the plan?”

LIFT. She is very skeptical of this “fighting with a book” idea but, whatever. He asks if she has a weapon--she says she can’t read, but upon further prodding she does summon the Wyndlerod. Dalinar tasks her with getting the King’s Drop back.

“Relax, grandpa. Steal the rock. I can do that.” She took a deep breath, then exploded with stormlight. Her eyes turned a pearly, glowing white. “It’s just us two, then?” “Yes.” “Right. Good luck with the army.”

I LOVE LIFT SO MUCH

Anyway, Odium’s showed up. Great. Wonderful. He asks if Dalinar is ready, and Dalinar says yes.

Over to Adolin. He’s trying to blend in with the illusions, just waving his spear a lot. Unfortunately, the Fused get the bright idea to spatter blood across them--it hits Adolin but falls through the illusions. Fuck. he gets disarmed, and only has his knife left.

Shit, not looking good. The other Fused has gone for Shallan. Fuck.

The Fused idly brought the lance back around, then fluidly rammed it right through Adolin’s stomach.

what

WHAT

YOU HURT MY BOY???

AND THEN THE FUSED COMES FOR HIM MORE AND--

Someone leaped onto the Fused from behind. A figure in tattered clothing, a scrabbling, angry woman with brown vines instead of skin and scratched-out eyes.

ADOLIN’S SWORD

SHE’S TRYING TO SAVE HIM OH MY GOD

I KNEW HIS LOYALTY AND CARE WOULD PAY OFF. I KNEW IT!

Shallan managed to create a wall over on this side, making the Fused coming after her run directly into it. Adolin is claiming that his wound is “just a little cut,” which, uh, ADOLIN YOU WERE STABBED THROUGH THE STOMACH

They need to get Adolin to Renarin. If Renarin is still alive. Fuck. Fuck.

And Kaladin is drowning in the beads, of course. Shallan jumps in to get him out, dragging Adolin with her--of course, they might not need Renarin! They have a surgeon with them!

Over to Lift! She’s become Awesome, slipping around the Alethi army effortlessly. She’s also almost certain, at this point, that Wyndle isn’t a voidbringer. Lift is wondering about Parshman genital colors while slipping around, because of course she is, she’s like twelve.

Apparently, the ruby this Voidbringer is carrying does’t have any light. Did Chiri-Chiri eat it all? Also:

Like, redder and brighter than Gawx’s face when Lift told him about how babies were made. He should know stuff like that already.

Lift gave the emperor of Azir The Talk.

Anyway, the Fused--being a soul that’s done this a shit-ton--is much more graceful than Lift, but she’s trying her best anyway!

Over to Nale and Szeth. Nale thinks they should obey the Dawnsingers, because he’s Nale and he’s still, as always, fucked-up. Oh well. Szeth asks if he can follow a person, not a law. Nale points out that, before, when Szeth followed men, he was hurt.

Szeth, looking at where Dalinar stands alone against the Voidbringers, comments that--maybe--he was following the wrong men. Is Szeth going to fucking swear to Dalinar? That’d be good, actually. Szeth knows what Taravangian is doing.

Anyway, Kaladin is drowning. Syl pulls him out of the sea, and Shallan and Adolin find him--and he notices that Adolin is wounded, instantly going into Mom Friend mode.

Adolin says that they need to leave him, mercy-kill him in order to go; Kaladin starts panicking. And he and Syl look at each other. The Words.

Over to Dalinar. He proposes a contest, pointing out that if Odium kills them all, he won’t be free. Odium says that as a Bondsmith, he can offer that deal. But is it what he wants?

Over to Lift. She’s watching the Voidbringer, trying to learn how to move like she does. Then, unfortunately, she’s thrown off balance--by one of the Thunderclasts. Fuck. It stamps on Lift, injuring her leg--

AND SZETH SLAMS DOWN FROM ABOVE, SLICING THROUGH THE THUNDERCLAST’S HEAD AND BLACK SMOKE EXPLODING AROUND IT. NIGHTBLOOD!!

He stopped beside her. “The Blackthorn assigned you a task?” “Uh...yeah,” Lift said. wiggling her toes, which seemed to be working again. “There’s a Voidbringer who stole a large ruby. I’m supposed to get it back.” “Then stand,” the assassin said, raising his strange Shardblade toward the enemy soldiers. “Our master has given us a task. We shall see it completed.”

He Swore to follow Dalinar, didn’t he.

Meanwhile, Navani is running for Dalinar, mostly furious. Unfortunately--Amaram’s men got to her, and to Fen and Kmakl. Fuck. She’s been captured. FUCK.

JASNAH STOP MESSING AROUND YOUR MOTHER IS BEING CAPTURED

We move...to Ash. She sees a brazier with ten figures on it, and she can’t move until she scratches her own face out. She’s in Thaylen City--of course, Taln was with Amaram’s troops. She can’t bring herself to care that Roshar is, it seems, finally doomed.

And she finds Taln.

Over...to Renarin.

Renarin Kholin knew he wasn’t actually a Knight Radiant. Glys had once been a different kind of spren, but something had changed him, corrupted him. Glys didn’t remember that very well; it had happened before they had formed their bond. Now, neither knew what they’d become.

He saw Jasnah finding him coming. He sees everything--colors, a panorama of everything that happened. Glys is yelling--she will hurt us, she will hurt us. And Renarin says “I know.”

Oh, god, this hurts so much. He can’t control what he sees or when he sees it--some of the images have writing, so he learned to read to understand it.

He wrenched his eyes away from the glass pane showing himself and Jasnah, turning toward one even worse. In it, his father knelt before a god of gold and white. “No, Father,” Renarin whispered. “Please. Not that. Don’t do it...” He will not be resisted, Glys said. My sorrow, Renarin. I will give you my sorrow.

...wait a minute. A corrupted spren, but one that seems to be acting against Odium--or at least not controlled by him. Is this...is this who Sja-anat meant when she was referring to her “Son?”

Hmmmm.

Anyway the implication that Dalinar is going to give in to Odium is THE WORST.

And, fuck, if he does--Dalinar has the connection to the last bits of Honor. That’s got to be what Odium’s after. Fuck.

Over to Dalinar, who says that he does want a contest of champions--and Odium agrees.

“I have chosen my champion already. I’ve been preparing him for a long, long time.” “Amaram.” “Him? A passionate man, yes, but hardly suited to this task. No, I need someone who dominates a battlefield like the sun dominates the sky.” The Thrill suddenly returned to Dalinar. The red mist--which had been fading--roared back to life. Images filled his mind. Memories of his youth spent fighting. “I need someone stronger than Amaram,” Odium whispered.

OH, FUCK ME

“No.” “A man who will win no matter the cost,” The Thrill overwhelmed Dalinar, choking him. “A man who has served me all his life. A man I trust. I believe I warned you that I knew you’d make the right decision. And now here we are.” “No.” “Take a deep breath, my friend,” Odium whispered. “I’m afraid that this will hurt.”

Okay, I gotta say? This is so much creepier and worse because of how Odium talks like he cares about Dalinar, like there’s some sort of mutual relationship between them.

Also, DON’T FUCKING TOUCH MY DAD YOU PIECE OF SHIT SHARD

At least, at the very least, Brandon shows the bASIC FUCKING DECENCY of not cutting away to another scene as he changes chapters.

Dalinar keeps saying no as Odium floods his head with his memories, reminding Dalinar of every kill under the Thrill. He was with Dalinar, then. He’s always been with Dalinar.

Son of Honor. Son of Odium.

And he tells Dalinar--blame me, blame me, blame me, give it to me. Like he did with Moash. It isn't your fault! You were just doing what was natural! Give up your rage your grief your guilt your shame, give it to me. That's how he got Amaram, I'll bet. Give me your guilt your morals your sense of the worth of other people. All those do is make you hurt.

God, that’s so smart. Give me your pain, your suffering. All it does is hurt you. And Dalinar...Dalinar is hurting so much.

And he throws Dalinar back into the day he killed Evi.

Dalinar, don’t listen to him. Evi saw you as a great man fighting a terrible one. Don’t let the monster win.

Over to Szeth, fighting. Fighting for Dalinar, the Bondsmith--he knows it’s not a perfect choice, but it’s the best he can do. And Szeth has finally found people he can fight against--he’s fighting the Voidbringer humans, Amaram’s army with the red eyes. For a moment, he almost feels the Thrill--but he shoves it away.

He refuses to love killing.

Anyway, the Voidbringer they’re chasing has figured out that you can use the sheath of Nightblood to block its strikes.

Jasnah stops one step behind Renarin, hearing him whisper. Ivory points out that his power is of Odium.

Over to Ash. Taln is just reciting his mantra, no matter what Ash says.

Kaladin falls to his knees as the Fused descend around him. He’s trying to force the Fourth Ideal, hoping it will give him the power--but he’s remembering all the people he’s lost, everyone he’s failed. But Windspren start to appear.

Lift, now that Szeth is safely pointed away from her, is trying to find the person with the ruby--but Szeth is not doing well. he’s lost Nightblood’s sheathe, and can’t stop it from eating away at him. Lift starts swearing, and thinks, hey. Maybe Dalinar can help.

OH, GREAT, THE GUY WHO KILLED HIS BROTHER IS EXACTLY WHO DALINAR NEEDS TO SEE RIGHT NOW.

Amaram’s soldiers are preparing to kill Kmakl, Fen’s consort, but Navani has a pain fabrial on her--and she uses it on the man holding her. She mentions that she tested it on herself, first. The second guy wets his pants as she uses it. They pass out from the pain.

Holy shit Navani, I see where Jasnah gets it from!

I love Navani so fucking much. Anyway, she singlehandedly saved two other people and took down three soldiers, getting a cut on her arm and then casually switching her painrial to take the pain away from it.

Odium is making Dalinar relive that day at Rathalas. He sees his own eyes as glowing red. He’s clutching onto the Way of Kings like it’s a stuffed toy--and then lightning blasts it out of his hands. The pages burn, in front of Dalinar.

Teft hides, listening to men dying. Bridge four dying.

Kaladin stutters on the Words. He thinks of the men he failed. He thinks of Tien.

Dalinar falls to his knees, just like Renarin saw. He’s so alone--and the only things he has to fall back on are Odium and the Thrill. Across the city, in a temple to a Herald leading a Radiant order he pretended to be from, Renarin is hoping against hope that Dalinar doesn’t fall.

Dalinar ripped his fingernails off, but the pain of the body couldn’t distract him.

WHAT THE FUCK

Szeth tries to walk towards Dalinar, but the darkness in the sword drinks the last of his Stormlight. The sun, of course, vanishes behind clouds now. Lift takes Szeth’s head in her hands. She tries to heal him--and Nightblood starts taking her too.

Renarin, in Pailiah’s temple, thinks he would rather die than see the Blackthorn return as Odium’s champion. Better to die at Jasnah’s hands. He sees Dalinar falling.

Venli shivers on the plain near Odium. Timbre is quiet. Odium says--it is done. Meridas delivers Odium the silvery sheath of Nightblood, and--

“Abaray, could you provide this human with an appropriate housing for Yelig-nar?”” One of the Fused stepped forward and proffered a small, uncut smokestone toward the human, Meridas.

He’s told to swallow it. He asks if, one day, he will be able to kill Dalinar, and Odium says maybe, if he doesn’t let Dalinar kill Amaram first.

Kaladin thinks of Dalinar. The Fused are getting closer. Adolin is bleeding. He can’t say the Words. He isn’t strong enough. And Syl hugs him as he weeps.

Jasnah raises her Blade. Make it quick, she thinks. Most threats to a dynasty come from within, she thinks. And Renarin turns to her and nods, tears streaming down his face. He nods.

Suddenly they were young again. He was a trembling child, weeping on her shoulder for a father who didn’t seem to be able to feel love. Little Renarin, always so solemn. Always misunderstood, laughed at and condemned by people who said similar things about Jasnah behind her back.

And she dismisses her sword. And pulls Renarin into a hug. He starts bawling, as though he is a child again.

“What’s wrong with me?” Renarin asked. “Why do I see these things? I thought I was doing something right, with Glys, but somehow it’s all wrong...” “Hush,” Jasnah whispered. “We’ll find a way through it, Renarin. Whatever it is, we’ll fix it. We’ll survive this, somehow.”

And Renarin...Renarin realizes. His visions can be wrong.

Dalinar feels...alone. So alone. But there’s a single, solitary gloryspren in his hand. The most important step a man can take...is the next one.

Trembling, bleeding, agonized, Dalinar forced air into his lungs and spoke a single, ragged sentence. “You cannot have my pain.”

#oathbringer spoilers #stormlight archive liveblog #shut the fuck up rayse #dalinar voice: unite them #lift is the best #kaladin has a saving people thing #renarin kholin deserves the best things possible #i love my weird sword child #what is the most important step a man can take?#god do i hate meridas amaram

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taehcns-blog · 7 years ago

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henlo everyone !!!!!!!!!! my name is clove, i’m eighteen, use he/him pronouns, & i’m your resident boy group enthusiast™ hittin’ the tags to bring you my precious angel hwan taehan ! he’s genuinely a mf puppy and all he wants to do is sip on lattes, wear cute clothes, & stare at boys bc he’s waaay too awkward & innocent to approach one whoops !! either way, you can read more about him below so have fun & if you wanna plot lmk !!!!!

( tw. ) ─── depression. death. homophobia. underage sex. typing errors.

001. ooookay gang, this is gonna be v messy and i apologize in advance, but i wanna get this up so i can start writing with all of you sweetie pies, kapeesh ??? anyway ─── taehan was born in the jinhae-gu district of changwon city, south korea. his parents owned and operated a restaurant in the area for 8 years prior to his birth, and even after he was born, the two of them kept their business up and running for much longer !!!! he spent lots of time becoming acquainted with customers, their children, and being almost the face™ of the restaurant, and he adored all of the attention he got ! he wasn’t a shy kid, and often made friends v easily so he was well-liked, and his parents felt almost too lucky to have a son as handsome, sweet, and friendly as he was !!!!

002. however, as he got a lil older, his family was beginning to realize that he was different. unlike most of his friends growing up, he was clearly a lot more feminine than them, and he loved things that not many little boys did at his age. instead of working on the family car with his father, he much preferred to bake things with his mother. he liked playing with dolls, his favorite color was pink, and whenever the neighborhood boys and him would play, he’d always taken on the role of the princess, or the mother, or the ‘girlfriend’ whenever they’d get involved with all of that. both mom and dad kinda shrugged all that off as a phase and didn’t necessarily wish to change their child in anyway ─── after all, he was their pride and joy, so to them, he was still v perfect ... however, it wasn’t like that for lots of others.

003. all of the people that once adored him would now try to ruin all the fun he had, and his parents were p much pissed about it tbh. whenever he’d be running about the restaurants with his dolls, some customers would take them away from him and say that dolls were for girls, or that pink was a girl color, etc. and it began to leave a sour taste in all of their mouths. taehan was beginning to question literally EVERYTHING bc like, he had never once been told that he acted weird or like a girl before ... and it kinda fucked with him ??? like what did that even mean ya feel ??? it was then when he began to ask his parents tons of questions about how he acted or how he was naturally, and they had a hard time explaining to him that some people were just mean and didn’t understand him and that helped him feel better about all of it, but apart of him after that always felt weird.

004. in school, he thought he’d thought that he’d make tons and TONS of friends bc everyone seemed to like him around the restaurant and his neighborhood. he got along well with girls, but lots of the boys were mean to him; calling him names, treating him bad, and overall, making him feel even more like an outcast than he already did. whenever he’d go home and tell his parents about what was going on school, they would do their best to talk to his teachers, and the principal, but none of them really did anything to help the situation. however, after years and years of him enduring all this bullying, his family decided it’d be best to just relocate elsewhere. their restaurant wasn’t doing too well in the area anymore, and they wanted bigger, better things, so they packed up all their things and moved to seoul, which is where his mother was from initially, and he was excited to be near his grandma, who he always had a wonderful relationship with !!!!!!

005. however, on the drive over there, his family was involved in a car accident that, unfortunately, ended up killing his father. sick with grief, his mother, and himself, didn’t think that life would ever be the same. their move to seoul was now in a different light ─── instead of setting their sights on bigger, brighter things, the two of them moved in with his grandmother and built themselves a new life from scratch. his mother worked the dry cleaning and seamstress business that his grandmother had owned for p much all of her life, and it was a rough time all around tbh. although still a resilient child, he longed to see his dad once again, but he knew that that would never, ever happen... and it made him v sad. his mom never really bounced back from all of it, and even after years had passed, she’s still grieving in her own way. however, life went on, and things got better, but with age came a ton more complications in taehan’s life ... and he often longed for the time things were simpler when he was with his mom and dad at the restaurant in jinhae-gu.

006. in middle school, he was often a wallflower and an outcast, and many of his peers didn’t necessarily feel the need to hangout with him, and it sent him into a bit of a downward spiral. once puberty hit, he began to understand why so many people thought of him to act like a girl in lots of ways. he’d look at boys and stare at them longer ; often liking their appearances and figuring out that girls didn’t make him feel that way whatsoever. he’d often talk to his mom about it, and she said it was normal, and that nothing was weird. she had a good friend when she was younger who liked other men, and she was understanding of all of that. even though at home he felt safe, he became worried that others would bully him if they ever found out the things that were on his mind, so he never confided the truth about himself to anyone ever. he didn’t want his life to be ruined, or to be embarrassed. however, in high school, things seemed to look up for him... but not for long lol rip.

007. he met a boy that he like high-key had a crush on ... and out of the blue, the two of them began to form some sort of friendship. none of it was too serious or whatever. they were kids, and they were just having fun and stuff. however, the more time they spent with one another, the more that taehan was FALLING for him real hard and like ..... all he could think about was the other boy, and he wanted to be around him all the time, and he’d get v jealous whenever he’d choose other friends over him, etc. and it all get low-key messy. so, he asked his mother’s advice and she told him that it may be best to tell his friend how he felt, so the next day, he did just that... but it didn’t end well at all. see, at first his friend said he felt the same way, and one thing led to another and they began to kiss and mess around... however, his friend had his webcam on while they were in his room and recorded everything ... and it got around the school and his friend was exposed as a total snake bc all of this was a dare from his other friends. i hope that made sense lol. needless to say, taehan was totally MORTIFIED and refused to go to school after that ... and his mother felt v bad

008. after that, he spiraled into a horrible depression ... and his mom sent him to a therapist that she’d been seeing for the last few years, and he was prescribed an anti-depressant. the first month on the meds were absolute hell, and his therapist was there to guide him all through it ... but once that trial period was over, they helped level him out a lot ... and he knew there were lots of things he still needed to get over from his past and his present, but he liked that he didn’t feel like ending it all whenever he got into his depressive episodes. to this day, he still takes his meds and sees a therapist, and he’s glad for that. he switched schools after that and felt a lot better, making more friends, and graduating with lovely grades to bring him to his loving and supportive family !!!!! now, he’s going to college and studying business, much like his father, and hopes to reopen the restaurant that his family had at one point in time ... as well as maybe venture into the world of fashion.

009. he’s still living at home with his mom and his grandmother, and they love him to bits, but whenever he saves some money, he does wanna try living with a roommate or by himself to see what all of that’s about !!!!!! he’s just a simple boy going through life and figuring his shit out, y’know ???

( connections. ) ─── lots of friends tbh. they can be whoever. he trusts women more, obvs, but he’ll be happy with any male friends, too. they’ll help kinda bridge the gap of men he has in his life. potential romantic interest. pls you’ll give me all the fluffy feels that i need to BREATHE ok. this can start however and we can build it up from scratch, or have them be friends that slowly fade into a couple idek. i just neeeeed it. the dude that fucked him over in hs. this could be ANGST city but i kinda want it if anyone’s down lol. a female friend he may have used for a beard at one point / bff. c’mon... think of the CUTENESS. they can be v protective of one another and affectionate with each other, and they’re basically soulmates, but they’re in no way attracted to each other so they’re just bffs. anything else tbh hmu with any ideas !!!!!!!

#SEOULINTRO #PLS LUV MY PRECIOUS SWEET ANGEL BOY !! HE'S PRESH !

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javathewildone · 8 years ago

Text

Neighbors (OW)

A/N: I don’t really remember the whole premise of this. I feel like it was around the time of my brief (believe me, it was brief) Twilight fan phase so it was intended as another vampire family moves to town story or something-like. Again written probably circa ‘07/’08.

The summer was coming to a close and school started up again in a few days. The time I spent outside in the cooling weather was less with each passing day. I had turned to remaining indoors with the shades up, sulking behind a book or computer screen just waiting for the curtain to rise and this year’s act to begin.

My school shopping had been finished for nearly a week now, piles of new clothes still sitting in their original bags in a large mound in my closet. Notebooks, pencils, pens, highlighters, all thrown into my new school bag, sat in the corner and I sat amidst a bedlam of used clothes; piles in every direction for every category from ‘keep’ to ‘toss’ with intermingled piles of ‘donate’, ‘pass to my younger cousin Kaitlyn’, and ‘unsure’. Plus, there was the largest pile of ‘to be sorted’ which I was slowly working my way through the past few days. Each day my mom or I would find more of my clothes strewn about the house in the most unusual places, and add them to the pile. I must have gone through hundreds of articles and still the pile never seemed to lessen. Soon enough the piles would be running together and I would have to go through them all again.

“Ryden!” My mother called my omni-sexual name from the bottom of the staircase.

I couldn’t help sighing and closing my eyes to hide their slight roll. I just couldn’t wait to get back to school and have my teachers thinking I was a boy the first day. Obviously I wasn’t, but once during freshman year when my English teacher, Mr. Haye, was calling roll, I became distracted with searching the floor for the pencil I had dropped that rolled under the bookshelf behind my desk and didn’t answer him when he came to my name. “Ryden Carlisle?” Still, I had ignored him, so determined to find my pencil. It was my only writing implement for the day. “Anyone know where he is?” A few of my junior high friends snickered and the boy next to me, whom I had never met until that day and became unusually close friends with, jabbed me in the side and I finally realized. “Here!” I raised my hand, pointing my attention to Mr. Haye for that second. “Oh.” He had said, as if never expecting the name Ryden to be given to a girl. From then on, most teachers that I have refrain from making sexual distinction until they see me. It was like a memo had been passed.

“Yes?” I leaned foreword into the pile and came back with a green sweater that looked too faded to create static cling anymore. I tossed it into the ‘donate’ pile with thought of dying it to make it more attractive. “What?” I called again, when I noticed that my mom hadn’t answered me the first time. Still there was silence. I sighed and tossed a red and white stripped long-sleeve into the ‘keep’ pile before wobbling to my feet and heading for the stairs.

At the top, I could hear a murmuring between two people. One had to be my mother, the other I was not so sure about since my older brother Ty was in Chicago on internship and my father, Don, was somewhere in Europe with his supermodel girlfriend. That left either a neighbor, one of my friends, a long lost relative, or someone who was lost and looking for directions. Chester was a small town after all, not much to keep you on track by way of landmarks.

Curiosity got the better of me and I was on my way down the thick carpeted stairs when my mom finally must have noticed she never answered my call.

“Oh! There you are.” There was a smile on her face. I could only wonder if that was a good or bad sign.

“Here I am.” I replied, as if I was returning home from an extended absence. “Come on, there’s some people I want you to meet.”

People? As in more then one? Now I was really curious as to whom I was sharing my living room with. It had only sounded like one person, but maybe the rest were just being quiet.

I followed behind my mother into the living room that was fuller then I’d seen it in three years, since Don left. Every piece of furniture was covered with a body, one spilled over onto the floor even. It was a family of five, one that I had never seen before.

“Ry. These are the Winston’s. Craig, Lynne, Ryan, Sophie, and…” She paused, a look of apology forming, with her hand outstretched to the one sitting cross-legged on the floor, his back against the sofa.

“James.” He finished for her, his chocolate eyes glancing in my direction for a moment before looking to the floor.

“Right. James.” I could see her making a mental note to never forget that name. “This is my daughter Ryden.”

“Hello. Nice to meet you.” I had already forgotten most of their names. James was the one on the floor, I remembered that much.

The two adults, Craig and…was it Leann…or Lynne, greeted me with a cheerful ‘Pleasure’ ‘Nice to meet you’, while their three children more or less grumbled a hello.

Now that the introductions were over, my interest in these people grew a bit more. Most of all I wanted to know why they were sitting in my living room. I was tempted to open my mouth and speak my thoughts out loud, but thought better of it. I didn’t want to appear rude by the rough phrasing of my questions. Thankfully, I was saved when Craig spoke up.

“We just moved down the road.”

I stared at him blankly, not remembering a house for sale on this street. I could be mistaken though. I’m not a very observant person.

“Mrs. Mayo’s old place?” He seemed to have sensed my lack of comprehension and tried to clarify. It worked.

“Oh yes! I do remember some talk of her moving away.” Vaguely. However, I wanted to be polite.

“Yeah, it’s a real fixer-upper, but we’ve got enough help.” He pulled the younger son, whose name escaped my mind, into a half-nelson, ruffling up his head a little.

“Daaad.” He grumbled, shoving himself away then combing his fingers through his dark spikes. He couldn’t be more then ten, maybe twelve, but I could tell he was going to be a heartbreaker when he was older. His face was tanned, but it was easy to see a few freckles dotted over the bridge of his nose. His eyes were chocolate, but a lighter shade then I noticed James’ to be, and his hair was the color of dark chocolate, gelled out in all directions. If he were closer to my age, I would be sure to become better acquainted, but we weren’t even in the same school.

“Sometimes I’m not sure how much help they really are.” Mrs. Winston looked at each one of her children in turn, ending with her husband.

Craig’s expression carved mock offense.

“Wha… are you accusing me with the rest of our rugrats?

“You’re worse then they are sometimes!”

The mood was light and joking, making it comfortable for everyone, including myself, to break out in laughter. Well, everyone, except for James. I noticed he made some sort of sound between a laugh and a cough, but never removed his eyes from the carpeting.

“Well, I suppose we’ve taken up enough of your time, and space.” Craig rose to his feet, extending his arm again toward my mother.

“Oh, not at all. If you need any extra help feel free to drop by.”

“Thank you, we will.”

The whole Winston family was now on their feet and the two younger siblings heading for the front door. James lagged behind, seeming to stand right in the shadow of his parents and refusing to look anywhere but his feet. I knew it would be awkward if he’d have looked up and noticed me staring at him, but I just couldn’t look away from his furrowed brow. It looked as if he were contemplating speaking up, but instead shoved his fists roughly into his jacket.

I snapped my eyes away from James when I noticed the Winston parents heading for the open door their children had just exited.

“It was nice to meet you. G’night.” I felt that maybe my farewell was a little late, but that didn’t stop Craig and LeAnn from looking back with smiles.

“What a lovely family.” The statement nearly sighed through my mother’s lips as she turned away from the living room and headed for the kitchen.

I remained rooted where I was, staring at the chipping white paint of our door. My brow was furrowed now in thoughts about James. His family seemed friendly enough, almost chipper, but he was the only one that didn’t seem happy at all. I didn’t know what to make of it and didn’t fight it. He was probably just angry with the move, having to leave all his friends behind. Although, his siblings didn’t seem to feel that way.

I shrugged and turned away to follow my mom into the kitchen where she was hovering over a box of Hamburger Helper. Ever since my father’s absence, the traditional cooking rituals went with him. We no longer crowded in the kitchen to each do our own part in preparation for another delicious meal. I would sit at the table peeling potatoes or grating cheese or husking corn while my father worked with the meat and my mother filled in our gaps.

That was all in the past now to be replaced by new dinner rituals. Mainly, they consisted of a pot of boiling water and a box of macaroni with a packet of powdered cheese. Seeing the Hamburger Helper box made me wonder what the occasion was.

“Maybe we should invite the Winston’s over for dinner one night. You know, really welcome them to the neighborhood?” I suggested innocently. I was really thinking that maybe the thought of company with true family friend potential would wake my mother from the trance she had put herself in. Or at least give my stomach a chance to remember what real food tasted like.

#neighbors #incomplete manuscript #original writing

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shemakesmusic-uk · 4 years ago

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INTERVIEW: Katie Von Schleicher.

Katie Von Schleicher’s deeply personal new album, Consummation, is out today via Full Time Hobby. While exploring past trauma, Von Schleicher greatly expands her sonic palette; its 13 shape-shifting songs are at once potent and listenable, strange and familiar, and, perhaps most of all, teeming with life. At its core, Consummation evokes the pain of being unable to bridge that vast psychic distance between oneself and another.

The follow-up to her 2017 debut Shitty Hits, Consummation is, in part, inspired by an alternate interpretation of Hitchcock’s Vertigo. Von was struck by its largely unanalyzed subtext of abuse. She knew immediately that this hidden narrative, which spoke to her personal experience, would be the basis of her album. Rebecca Solnit’s A Field Guide to Getting Lost also proved to be particularly influential; soon after revisiting Vertigo, Von Schleicher stumbled upon Solnit’s lacerating take on the film, describing the “wandering, , stalking, haunting” of romantic pursuit that it depicts as “consummation,” while “real communion”—understanding and mutual respect between two lovers—is, to the men in the film, “unimaginable.” The consequence is a fundamental failure of communication.

We caught up with Katie and discussed the making of Consummation, what she would change about the music world today and much more. Read the interview below.

Hi Katie! We last spoke with you three years ago around the time that you released Shitty Hits. How has life been since then? And how have you been coping with the current lockdown?

"Lots of touring occurred after that. I’ve been fine, if I had to sum up three years in a sentence. I live in Brooklyn and I’m a little worried about the coming hot weather - the park is packed on any nice day. The lockdown is tough for creativity, surprisingly not terrible for my anxiety, bad for sleeping patterns."

You're gearing up to release your new LP Consummation which is, in part, inspired by an alternate interpretation of Hitchcock’s Vertigo.

"I started writing in late 2018 after watching Vertigo. The Weinstein scandal was everywhere, there were fresh lenses through which to see society and our experiences. I remember earlier that fall having dinner with my sisters and sisters-in-law, the six of us together with age gaps as much as twenty years and wide political differences of opinion. We discussed what was going on, it turned personal, and suddenly everyone was sharing their experiences with men. I’d never had a conversation like that with them before.

"I had anger. I grew up being friendly with a man who’d abused my mom because that’s considered private business, because domestic abusers don’t always get excommunicated and they certainly don’t get called out at the dinner table. It’s her business and she can laugh about it, because she’s strong as hell, and I respect that. We talked about it at the sibling dinner, and not everyone is in agreement that it even happened. That’s a side effect of silence.

"Hitchcock notedly was abusive to his leading women. Maybe that’s why Vertigo, which is so many films in one, felt more like watching A Woman Under The Influence that December than it had the first time, which is to say it felt like a character study of a woman falling apart under duress. It’s almost like Hitchcock inadvertently imbued it with the personal. Anyway, it doesn’t matter, that’s just how I felt, and I used it as a guiding principle. I knew the colors for the album would be blue and green, that I’d talk about heights (the working title was Climbing Mountains With Assholes, citing the movies Force Majeure and 45 Years, and that bell tower from Vertigo).

"The result isn’t transparently as heavy as all that, or as direct. It’s just what filled me up while I made the record."

What were your musical influences for Consummation? Who were you listening to around the time of writing it?

"I made a playlist for mix engineer Eli Crews this time around (he mixed Shitty Hits as well). It has Anne Laplantine, US Girls, Francis Bebey, Shuggie Otis, The Eureka Brass Band, Low, Robyn, Jenny Hval, Julia Holter, Frank Ocean, Cate Le Bon, Prince, Tim Hecker, Mitski, Kevin Ayers, Iceage. There are some people who’ve influenced me endlessly: Cate Le Bon, whose shows last year I legit teared up at. Arthur Russell, Elliott Smith always. Devo was one that surprised me this time around. I’m not sure if you can hear the influences, but on ‘Wheel’ there’s a ring modulator on my lead guitar, and that was directly influenced by Devo."

What was your songwriting/creative process for Consummation? Was it similar to Shitty Hits or did you do things differently this time around?

"I always do one thing, which is write in total solitude. That’s been coming up lately because I have a roommate, and I was explaining that I have a hard time writing with any kind of ‘perceived audibility.’ With Consummation I had a fresh set of intentions and I feel like I forced things to conform to them more than usual. I reached a new place with making music: I realized I’m going to write songs my whole life, no matter what, and that they won’t stop coming, and I stopped being afraid. Being less afraid made me able to work with more guidelines, to steer the songs more tightly, and to have more fun. ‘Messenger,’ ‘Loud,’ ‘Caged Sleep,’ ‘Wheel’, ‘Can You Help?’ and ‘Power’ were all rhythmically led. I worked with drum machines. I thought about tempo and I forced myself to write on guitar, which also has a different harmonic logic than what I do on a keyboard. Shitty Hits was far more keyboard-driven. Touring a lot made me want to play guitar more live, and make music that transported me differently than my previous set of songs."

What do you hope fans will take away from Consummation?

"Even more than allegiances to artists or albums or bodies of work, I love songs. I hope someone finds a magic song on the album, the kind of song you put on late at night, the kind of song that legitimizes how you feel. If the whole record has some of that, even better."

Let's talk about your most recent music video for 'Wheel', directed by V Haddad. How did the collaboration come about and what inspired the concept of the video?

"I’ve admired V’s work for a while, and found out she lives in LA, so imagined we couldn’t do anything together on this record. After quarantine took over I realized that no longer mattered, and I’m glad she wanted to do it. V came up with the concept from the dual inspiration of the music itself and the limitations of our abilities to leave the house."

You donated the budget of the video to Safe Horizon and are also fundraising for the charity via Spotify. What made you decide to do that and what does their cause mean to you?

"I’m still working on it for Spotify! I keep reaching out. We did donate the budget, so far. Donating her fee was also V’s suggestion. I had originally asked V to do a song called ‘Brutality,’ which is directly about domestic abuse, and I’m not sure if that informed part of her suggestion.

"It means a lot to me, only more over time. Abuse is absolutely isolating. I can’t imagine how the current situation compounds or intensifies that."

If you weren’t making music, what would you be doing?

"For the whole of my life? Impossible to say, but I have alternately looked at grad programs while in lockdown and played Mario Kart on Switch against some of my favorite songwriter friends. Maybe we’ll all become professionals at Kart someday."

With having more time to reflect on things these days, if there was one thing you could change about the music world, what would it be?

"There are more than a few things socially wrong with it, representation-wise. But if I had to do one single overhaul, I’d want to see music imbued with value again. Technological progress has changed the way we commodify everything, and as much as I enjoy the accessibility of streaming, I miss an album having value. I rented a car a couple years ago and drove down the coast of California and into the desert. We bought CDs at Amoeba Records in San Francisco because it only had a CD player, and so for a week we had only a few albums to choose from. In college I’d go to Twisted Village in Cambridge, MA, and take a chance on some truly weird shit, and sometimes I’d spent $18 on a CD I didn’t even like. Was it better? I’m going to relent and say not necessarily because I like that artists are thrown together on playlists on a streaming platform, honestly. Small artists get heard, but they get a spin. The psychology is different, it’s not just that as listeners we don’t value ownership of an album enough to make ourselves live with it for weeks at a time. It’s that as a musician I think the product is also devalued. The advice I get, from the business side, is to release music constantly, because that’s the new way to get attention, just never stop. A lockdown occurs, your album’s about to come out, and someone says the solution is to make and release singles into the ether. Avid listeners may relate to this - something you love wasn’t necessarily your favorite thing on the first three to five spins, even. The music that’s really mattered in my life, thanks a lot to finding it pre-streaming, was something I barely understood at first and came to understand through a bit of meeting it halfway. The psychology, as an artist, of making things constantly because you know it won’t be met halfway, is a bummer. The potential outcome is a lot of sonic conformity."

Finally, are you working on anything at the moment during quarantine? And what do you have planned when all of it blows over? I expect you're keen to get out on the road to tour the album?

"My mindset is that this may be a long haul, and I don’t know exactly how to prepare for trying to play an album live for the first time on the year anniversary of its release. I hope to tour again, I hope my lovely booking agents are able to stay in business. Right now I’m working on a collection of songs that will be recorded to tape with strings and woodwinds and orchestration. Beautiful, lush, tranquil, those are the goals - and it’s nice to just let them be what they are. In the meantime I may throw a few singles into the ether."

youtube

Consummation is out now.

Photo credit: Shervin Lainez

#interview #katie von schleicher #consummation

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artofpeacelove · 5 years ago

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https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

When Alyssa*, a 30-year-old infertility patient, began fertility treatments last September, she discovered that on top of her endometriosis, she had a low ovarian reserve (meaning that she has fewer-than-normal eggs for her age) and low-quality eggs. After four egg retrieval cycles, she was left with only one healthy embryo—aka just one shot at getting pregnant with her own eggs. Her doctor suggested moving on to an embryo transfer (where the embryo is implanted into her uterus) in mid-April.

To prepare for the procedure, Alyssa took a shot of the synthetic hormone Lupron in early March. It temporarily put her body into a medically-induced menopausal state that caused hot flashes, night sweats, and headaches. She also went on a strict anti-inflammatory diet to help manage her symptoms and increase her odds of a successful transfer. But after all that, and just five days away from beginning the official prep for her embryo transfer (a new round of hormone shots to help her uterus prepare for a baby), all fertility treatments at her clinic were postponed due to COVID-19.

This isn’t a one-off situation: On March 17, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) called for fertility doctors to suspend most new, non-urgent fertility treatments, including ovulation induction, intrauterine inseminations (IUIs), in vitro fertilization (IVF), and egg and sperm freezing to preserve resources and prevent the spread of the new coronavirus. Many states have also issued orders forbidding elective surgeries and procedures during the COVID-19 outbreak, a designation that applies to most fertility procedures as well as things like cataract or joint-replacement surgery.

But being denied fertility treatment right now feels more personal than having to delay your annual physical or eye exam, because it’s your chance at a future family hanging in the balance. “This isn’t an elective surgery. Fertility patients have no choice,” says Alyssa. “Every time we’re given a little bit of good news, it’s taken away. It feels like that all over again, and we were so close to the end.”

“Patients feel that infertility is not being treated like a disease right now. Many feel it’s unjust…[and] are frustrated,” says Brian Levine, MD, the founding partner and practice director of the fertility clinic CCRM New York, who is board-certified in reproductive endocrinology and infertility as well as obstetrics and gynecology. But as the epidemic continues to grip the U.S. and most of the world, fertility patients will have no choice but to put their plans on hold indefinitely.

The complications of family planning during an uncertain time

The pandemic is also causing many people who are not experiencing fertility issues to put their pregnancy plans on ice, so to speak. A survey of nearly 2,000 women released by Modern Fertility and financial startup SoFi found 31 percent of respondents were changing their fertility or family planning decisions due to COVID-19. One reason? It’s unclear what effects a COVID-19 infection could have on a mom or developing baby.

Thankfully, the World Health Organization says that pregnant people don’t appear to be at higher risk of contracting a severe case of the disease, a conclusion echoed by another small new study and statements by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and the Society of Maternal-Fetal Medicine. But for those who do contract the illness, fever (which is a symptom of COVID-19) in the first trimester of pregnancy may cause birth defects and miscarriage. These groups also add that pregnant people may be more likely to have potentially life-threatening complications from respiratory infections like the flu or COVID-19. Dr. Levine points to two New York women who had asymptomatic COVID-19 infections and didn’t know they had the virus; they were admitted to the emergency room soon after delivery because they got very sick very quickly.

Amy, mother of a 3-year-old and founder of the blog The Postpartum Party, says she and her husband had been trying to conceive but may put their plans on hold for other reasons related to the pandemic and lockdown. “Being stuck at home all day with a toddler has definitely made us question if we want to keep trying for number two,” she says. “I’m also worried about getting pregnant and having to go out more for care and doctor appointments.” Similarly, 46 percent of the Modern Fertility-SoFi survey respondents say that they’re worried about access to prenatal care during COVID-19. (For the record, care is still available for pregnant women; the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends that OB/GYNs providing care to expectant mothers should take appropriate precautions to limit unnecessary contact, including transitioning some appointments over to telemedicine and staggering the amount of patients in the office.)

Aviva Romm, MD, a midwife, herbalist, and internal and family physician, says stress and uncertainty are taking their toll on many people who are planning their families. “Most of my patients and quite a few friends have decided to wait a few months and let ‘the dust settle’ a bit before [trying to conceive],” she says.

“Even though I’m just 30 years old, my reproductive system is saying otherwise. Time is of the essence.” —Alyssa*, infertility patient

However, for fertility patients, delaying a pregnancy indefinitely is a bitter pill to swallow, especially since these treatments are a huge investment of time and money (to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars). Mary Sawdon, ND, says that planning for a frozen embryo transfer IVF cycle in March got her through her darkest days after her miscarriage in December. However, her fertility clinic has closed indefinitely to ride out COVID-19—a conundrum that 18 percent of the Modern Fertility-SoFi survey respondents are facing, too.

“I know in my rational brain that cancelling all new cycles in light of the pandemic is a necessity for public health and safety, but it still doesn’t make it any easier for my emotional heart to grapple with,” Sawdon says. “I feel like I’m in limbo. There are a lot of things out of my control.”

Many patients also feel like they can’t afford to just “wait.” Alyssa is deeply concerned that the longer her embryo transfer is delayed, the less likely it will lead to a healthy, successful pregnancy. “Even though I’m just 30 years old, my reproductive system is saying, ‘Time is of the essence. I can’t really wait much longer.’ This is my life, and I’m ready to start a family.”

“I do think we will need to re-address [the guidelines] if [the pandemic] goes on a long time,” says Molly Quinn, MD, an OB/GYN specialized in endocrinology and infertility at the UCLA Medical Center in Santa Monica, California.. “There’s no data that a month or two of delay will impact success [of fertility treatments]. But six months will have an impact.”

Getting through the COVID-19 pandemic when conception plans are delayed

Despite the necessary limitations to fertility treatments right now, many health-care providers have shifted their practices to serve their patients remotely as best they can. Both Dr. Quinn and Dr. Levine have moved their consultations to telehealth for all fertility prep work, including initial consultations, lifestyle optimizations for diet and exercise, treatment plans, and orders for future diagnostic tests.

Dr. Levine says working almost exclusively online actually allows him to consult with more patients in a day. “As frustrating and sad as this is on a daily basis, we have an even greater reach and can go deeper into the patient population that we wouldn’t have had access to before,” he says.

People who want to pursue pregnancy are finding other ways to manage their time and handle disappointment with delays. Fertility patient Cassie Lando says her clinic recently allowed her to start a timed intercourse cycle with medication that stimulates ovulation since her IVF treatment was delayed. She’s now giving it her all from home, monitoring for ovulation with LH test strips, basal body temperature charts, and the at-home progesterone test kit Proov. “It’s giving me great peace of mind,” she says, to feel that she’s making some kind of progress on her fertility journey right now.

Otherwise, patients are being told to focus on what they can do to hit the ground running when treatments can resume: eating a healthy diet, exercising, and reducing as much stress as possible. In addition to telehealth consultations, people who are struggling to conceive can try the app Fruitful Fertility, which pairs them with mentors who’ve already been through fertility treatments, or other online infertility groups for comfort and support. RESOLVE, an infertility advocacy organization, also offers information and resources. The ASRM will also revisit its guidelines every two weeks as the pandemic continues, with the stated goal of “resuming usual patient care as soon and as safely as possible.”

It might feel like little comfort to people who have tried for so long to conceive, but doctors want their patients to know that they’re doing everything possible to support them during this extremely difficult time. “Patients are not being left alone. Providers are doing whatever we can to bridge the gap so patients know they’re being supported and set up for success to hit it out of the park once we get that green light,” Dr. Levine says. Hopefully that comes sooner rather than later, for everyone’s sake.

*Name has been changed for privacy reasons.

from Good Advice – Well+Good https://ift.tt/3eDvZSj via IFTTT

#COVID-19 is forcing hopeful parents-to-be to put their family dreams on pause #Good Advice – Well+Go

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