#there have been times when there were metal bands (more my speed) and the line of people were so unique to one another but all of them were

[madigoround]

A fun part of working down the street from a fairly large concert venue is that every week there’s someone famous in a tour van parked right next to my work parking deck and most of the time I have no idea who the performers are because it’s not what I listen to but even when I don’t it’s fun to observe how they act or hear how they treat people from the friends I’ve made at the venue, today there’s a singer I know (tiktok viral romance song) and I just watched him walk down the street and people who were waiting outside the venue started the yell for him and he just turned towards them and smiled a very sweet smile and waved. Usually performers aren’t too willing to leave the area from the tour bus to the venue so it was pretty cool to see this seemingly nice man who has more fame than I probably ever will jay walking on the same street that I jay walk on

[ruringas]

Venting about my experience in the workplace

Posting more for my benefit than anything else...

Worked in Fast Food about a year or so ago, 24 hour place and I worked weekend nights. It was fine for me, I'm more of a night owl anyway, and it was my first job, so I thought myself lucky to get basically anything and was excited to get my foot in the door of employment.

The fact I broke down in tears during the first week should've been a warning, they tried to put me in the kitchen on the line to teach me the ins and outs. All the information, the pressure to get things exactly right, the speed I was expected to work at, the feeling that if I get anything wrong then I'll get fired and have wasted this opportunity.

After that, they put me on the front; bagging. I was okay-ish at that. I was put on deliveries, I liked it but was terrible at it. And they put me on the cash register, and I was great at that. They stopped shuffling me around after that, and every day I'd come in, they'd just point in the direction of the register and I'd set to work.

I was fine with that for months in terms of ability, however any passion I had for worklife faded pretty quick. When my training period ended, I was put in basically half of the front by myself for 8 hours. Along with the Cash register; I had to hand out bottled drinks, pour sodas, make hot chocolate, brew tea & coffee, make iced frappes and slushes, pour milkshakes, make ice creams, hand out muffins & cookies, track down missing doordash deliveries (System was ass, had lines daily), wipe down the surfaces (every x minutes), keep lids and cups stocked up (both hot and cold varients, as well as ice cream cups and frappe cups), keep bottled drinks stocked up, keep plastic cutlery stocked up, keep flavor syrups full & stocked up (for Sodas, Milkshakes, and Frappes), keep coffee machine stocked up (beans and milk and the like), keep ice cream syrups & sprinkles stocked up (plus for frappes too), keep Milkshake & Ice cream bases stocked up, keep ice cubes topped up, mop and dry the floor, deal with customer issues, use the uber super cleaning chemicals on the metal surfaces, run the coffee machine cleaning cycle, take out the trash (not just mine, all trash on the front), and on top of all that, do alot of the above for Drive-thru too (and some of it for Delivery on top of that) AND be expected to help out basically anywhere else when you have an idle second, and keep all of the above in peak full-stocked condition for the next person on the shift (even though it was frequently never stocked when I came on. Don't know how that happened, I wasn't even allowed to leave without the manager checking if I'd done it). All of that. Alone. Just me. for 8 hours on weekend nights. I lived (and studied) in one of England's bigger cities at the time, and it had a bustling nightclub scene with a particularly famous one around the corner (Some big band, Rush-tier or something, debuted there), lines during the weekend nights were frequently quite literally out of the door for the register, and shoulder-to-shoulder inside waiting foot food. And all of them were very rowdy and very drunk.

I worked my ass off, darting all around the front if the place and setting all the machines and such doing their thing, whipping around to dealing with customers, then whipping around to deal with the doordash driver who can't find his delivery, then sprinting through the kitchen to the back room to grab armfuls of assorted flavor syrups and some of those heavy plastic wrapped clusters of 20 bottled waters or OJ, carrying them out in a fashion that probably is going to cause me back issues in later life, Putting them into the fridge, and the amount of orders I have to deal with and customers in line in that time has doubled. I was frequently exhausted physically and mentally barely partway through work, but I kept going at the job for months. Add socially to that too, as drunk clubbers are impatient and not very nice at alllll (and let's be honest, a good few were probably high too), I got berated and yelled at by nutters for getting orders wrong while I was rushed off my feet with my various other responsibilities, including doordash drivers (I recall one instance where the guy got angry, knocked all the delivery orders onto the floor, and stormed out) and even fellow employees coming in off-duty. It was suffocating. And all that for minimum wage, all while studying. I know, people the world over work fast food during their studies, but I have no idea how I was expected not to reach a breaking point. Especially with on-the-spot overtime requests. It got to the point where my depression and anxiety reached such levels that I purchased a bottle of Antifreeze, 97% concentration, no bitterant.... Just in case I ever decided to "tap out".......

I worked my ass off. I was told multiple times, honestly maybe atleast once every week or two, by customers and co-workers that my service was excellent (some even called my manager over just to tell them I was great. While an inconvenience overall, it was a big boost, so thanks random folks). Eventually though, came one day where it just.... All happened. Had to start early, told to stay late, massive rush, manager kept scrutinising my stocking up so I had to keep around even longer.

Legit, I could almost feel like something broke, like... Physically. I was panting like I'd ran a marathon, I was tired, I was stressed. After a while, my brain. Just stopped.... Now, My anxiety makes my brain go blank alot, I'm used to that, but this was different. If thinking is like a postal service, An "anxiety brain blank" feels like there's no letters being sent, so the mailman never comes. This though, felt like the mailman was crashing the van into a brick wall and trying again and again once he failed. I could hear my heartbeat, I could feel my temples throbbing, one co-worker even said I looked pale. Though most notably; I felt like I was about to faint at any moment, and no matter how much I tried I couldn't think of more than a single word at once. I tried, I strained, my brain would just not process more than one word, and couldn't string a sentence together. I felt nauseous, and probably some other stuff that I can't remember because my memories for that entire day feel like what happens when you mix all the play-doh colors together. And after all that? Nothing. No recognition, no help, no compassion, I feel like I might've suffered some kind of actual fucking trauma and got basically nothing for it, just come in tomorrow.

After that day, I couldn't do it, I started spiralling into a panic when I thought about coming in to work. Or talking to work. I still haven't set foot inside the chain of restaurants I've worked at since then. I'm not sure I can do it. I stopped coming in, I got fired, I couldn't make rent, I.... Tried the antifreeze plan... Unsuccessfully, as you may expect.

Now I'm living with my parents again, doing councilling, unemployed... And now I'm getting prompted to try and get back into the workplace, and honestly I'm just not sure I can... I can't do that again. But I'm not sure what the alternate is.

[bubblesandgutz]

Every Record I Own - Day 815: Nomeansno Sex Mad

My first introduction to Nomeansno was hearing Sex Mad's "Dad" on a punk rock radio show on Oahu's Radio Free Hawaii station sometime around 1991 or 1992. The song's straightforward fury and harrowing depiction of domestic abuse carried the musical power and lyrical urgency that was like a drug to my young teenage mind. But I wouldn't actually hear the rest of Sex Mad until my college buddy dropped this LP on my doorstep a decade later.

The first two tracks off Sex Mad---the title track and the aforementioned "Dad"---sound like classic early North American hardcore. But that one-two-punch opening sequence was a Trojan Horse. By track three we have "Obsessed," a twisted and puzzling instrumental song that's like a punk version of Rush's "YYZ" (side note: I wouldn't actually hear Rush until sometime around 1997, and I distinctly remember thinking "this sounds like an arena rock version of Nomeansno"). Then there's the a cappella shout-fest "No Fgcnuik." These aren't exactly the kinds of departures that your average liberty-spiked punk wants to hear. Side one wraps up with "Love Thang" and "Dead Bob," both of which deconstruct hardcore's rage with syncopated rhythms, jarring shifts in song structures, and a general musical aptitude that one could only imagine both intrigued and puzzled the punks back in 1986.

Things get even weirder (and WAY cooler) on Side 2. "Self Pity" is the kind of protracted, exploratory, slow-build jam that completely avoids the three-chord, top-speed formula of hardcore. Instead, a low, menacing bass riff and nimble drum pattern drive the song, with brief explosions of guitar hinting at some inevitable climax. We keep getting teased with a big pay-off, and there are a few moments of thrashy release, but you get the overall sense that the ultimate moment is just on the horizon. And then it arrives, and it's not some big mosh part or circle pit anthem. It's guitarist Andy Kerr sending a signal through some sort of delay effect and tweaking the knobs into a swirling storm of chaos. Thirteen years later, Botch would do something similar on "Transitions From Persona To Object" without ever having heard "Self Pity."

Side 2 continues on in its strange journey with "Long Days." This is another track that almost owes more to prog rock than punk. Rob Wright plays a dexterous bass line on an infinite loop while John Wright keeps teasing us with various fragmented drum patterns. Rob sings a mournful melody on top of all of it. Andy appears to have not shown up to the studio that day. There are a few moments where John finally locks into a four-on-the-floor drumbeat and it's completely gratifying, but the overall intention of the song seems to be all about depriving the audience of what they want.

That vibe continues on "Metronome." Another looping bass line. Another song where John spends more time hinting at a beat rather than playing the full kit. Andy is back from his coffee break to provide vocals, but when the song actually lays into the bass riff it's so satisfying that the band apparently decided to leave guitar out of the mix entirely. There's hardly any guitar on Side 2 until the closer "Revenge," where Rob ditches the bass. We get angular guitar riffs for the verses and triumphant chords for the chorus. It's big and epic, but hardly the kind of straightforward blitzkrieg that kicked off the album.

The punks must have been completely perplexed, but maybe the punks were actually bored by the old formulas at that point. After all, Sex Mad gave Nomeansno their first hint of success. The band got signed to Alternative Tentacles, providing massive exposure across North America, and the band was invited on their first tour of Europe, where they would close out the decade as one of the top drawing punk acts on the continent---just behind Fugazi and Bad Religion. By 1986, the first batch of North American hardcore bands were dying out or crossing over into metal territories. Up in British Columbia, Nomeansno were charting a path that would now qualify as "post-hardcore," taking the urgency and DIY spirit of hardcore but expanding its parameters with a broader emotional spectrum and a larger arsenal of musical influences under their belt.

[oalesleinad]

Napalm Death - Metal Hammer #388 "The 100 Songs That Changed Our World"

NAPALM DEATH SCUM (SCUM, 1987)

With their debt album Scum, Napalm Death pushed the frontiers of noise back further than anyone could have ever imagined. The line-up that recorded this two-and-a-half minute grindcore landmark - singer/bassist Nicholas Bullen, guitarist Justin Broadrick and drummer Mick Harris - took in a disparate set of influences (Swans, Killing Joke, Siege, Metallica) and spat them out as something that was filthier, faster and bleaker than anything that had come before. The mainstream world was baffled and/or repulsed by its seemingly impenetrable din, but over time its revolutionary racket became fused into metal's DNA, in the process helping establish Earache Records as one of the most influential underground labels in history. Today, any band who profess to be remotely extreme owe a massive debt to Scum. Here, former Napalm Death guitarist Justin Broadrick looks back on the making of the seminal album.

Scum was such an important album. What do you remember about writing it? "I was a barely functioning 15/16 year old during my time in Napalm Death. Everyone else in the band was two years older, but what I could do prolifically was write music and create songs. I was writing the majority of the music, and Nic was writing pretty much all the lyrics. Scum was one of the last songs I wrote for Napalm Death, that is for sure [Justin and Nic Bullen left after recording Side A of the Scum album, with an almost totally new line-up recording Side B). I would have written it in my bedroom in Shard End, Birmingham, being 16 and still living at home with my mum and stepdad at that point."

Did it feel different to earlier songs you'd written for Napalm? "I felt my riffs and writing were essentially getting better, that was for certain. This was evident by the responses we were getting at our shows in that period. We, as a band playing these songs, had something special by this time."

Scum alternates between slow, sludgy sections and lightning-fast parts. What were the influences? "We were totally obsessed with Celtic Frost! Ha ha ha! That mid/breakdown riff is a direct take on a Hellhammer song breakdown, changed very slightly as it progresses. The main slow riff was me trying to emulate Am I Evil?, the Metallica cover [of Diamond Head], combined with a variety of Black Sabbath riffs. The fast parts are all essentially a take on Discharge riffs, but sped up and perhaps 'noisier'. Also, Siege had seeped into the riffs there."

What did Nic Bullen and Mick Harris bring to the song? "Everything, from Nic's vocal stylings, lyrics and bass playing, to Mick being able to reach speeds we hadn't heard before. Without Mick, that wouldn't have been achieved. Mick and I first rehearsed at his mum and dad's house, and we literally sped up every Napalm Death song I taught him. Mick's energy and fierceness on the drums was unrivalled."

Who was Scum aimed at? "Nic wrote the lyrics, so he would be best person to comment. But how the I saw it back then was an attack against our overseers, those who chain us: those in power. We were both becoming increasingly disenchanted with the human race as a whole. I think initially we intended to inform/protest, but both Nic and I became more nihilistic, especially from this period onwards."

Do you remember playing it live for the first time? "Not the first time, but the shows around that period were when people and audiences really started noticing us. There was a huge buzz."

How do you look back on Scum now? "Very proud of it. I'm proud of the whole A-side of Scum. It's sad, but I lost the sense that it was my music for many years, while watching different forms of Napalm Death perform it time and time again and endless reissues of the album. But, I've felt like it's mine again; it's a part of my musical identity, my music as a 16-year-old. As a band, for a moment, we were amazing, and Scum, as a song, was the peak of that for me."

"WE WERE DISENCHANTED WITH THE HUMAN RACE" JUSTIN BROADRICK

[metalindex-hu]

„I’m more into the energy and vibe of a song.”

„I’m more into the energy and vibe of a song.” - https://metalindex.hu/2023/05/25/im-more-into-the-energy-and-vibe-of-a-song/ -

Garry, Jaguar is generally considered as one the first speed metal bands along with Venom, Tank and Raven, do you agree with it?

Well if we helped to invent speed metal we didn’t know we were doing it! We just loved to play fast and the faster we played the more we liked it. We were just teenagers having fun that’s all, we had no idea what was going to happen.

In your opinion, did the band already have a name in the scene before you released Power Games?

     Yes in some places like Holland for example, due firstly to our demo tape then the two              singles that came out before Power Games. We were already regularly playing shows in the the UK and Holland, trying to build up a following long before Power Games was released in May 1983.    

At which point did you start working on the new songs?

We were always writing new songs, that process never stopped and the songs that ended up on Power Games were the songs we considered to be the best when we went in to record the album. I think we were pretty good when it came to writing new songs, there was never any shortage of ideas or creativity.    

You entered the Impulse Studios in November, 1982, to cut the album, were you prepared to record the material?

Yes as prepared as we could be. We had more than enough songs ready to go so we didn’t get stressed about that. The actual recording sessions were another matter though….ha ha! 

What about the recording sessions?

We turned up and were basically told we had five days to record the album from start to finish. We thought Dave Wood was joking but he wasn’t and would not budge when l asked for more recording time. He said ’What do you want to do? Go on a fishing holiday?’…ha ha, this line has gone down in Jaguar history. We did the best we could but what can you do in five days? 

Do you think, that the songs themselves all bear some strong riffcraft and excitement, the song structures are quite simple actually and the music is catchy?

      Yes the songs were quite simple in arrangement and structure but we always tried to    make them singalong and catchy, because that’s what we liked. To be honest l don’t care about complexity and technical skill, that’s not my thing, I’m more into the energy and vibe of a song.

Did the tunes also show great hard rock implementations that fit your image and various examples of straight rock of the mid to late 70s can be traced through some of the material?

Perhaps ’Master Game’ might be an example of that but that’s about it. I don’t think the rest of the songs on Power Games sound particularly 70’s. We weren’t trying to re-create that decade.  

Is Dutch Connection a tribute to Jaguar’s early-career popularity in Holland?

Yes it sure is! We first played there in 1981 and the reception we got was completely overwelming, it was awesome! Every time we played there it was brilliant so we decided to honour our Dutch fans with a song, so we wrote Dutch Connection for them. When we play it there the fans go crazy and so do we! I played it for James Hetfield last year, (2022).    

Ain’t no Fantasy was on the Demo in 1981, was it a renewed version? Did you re-record it?

We decided to re-record it for the album because we felt we could do a better version of it. I think it’s better than the demo version anyway.

Does Power Games have three key ingredients: earthiness, enthusiasm and naïveté, at the same time this is an incredibly fierce, ass kickin’, top-to-bottom classic with nary a bad cut?

People say it does which is great, we just tried to make the best record we could under the time contraints we were given. It could have been so much better if we’d had more recording time.

How do you explain, that musically speaking Jaguar had a unique style and a personal sound?

It just sort of happened, evolved. Of course these days it not cool to talk about chemistry but l believe that’s what we had. Just like all my favourite bands. I also think our sound had a lot to do with the way that my guitar and Jeff Cox’s bass locked together, kind of ’as one’. Jeff was a phenomenal bass player, totally underrated.

Rowdy, rampant, and aggressive, yet tight, coordinated and semi-polished, the loose and unpolished sound of the guitars blend well with the basic nature of the songs, correct?

Ha ha, yes l guess so! That’s down to the way l play and my ’keep it simple’ mentality. 

You worked with Keith Nichol, was he the in-house producer of the Impulse Studios? Did you get on well, was it easy to work him with?

Yes he was the in-house Impulse Studios producer at that time so we had no choice but to           work with him. We got on well and he was a nice guy but we would have worked with someone   else given a choice.           

Is it true, that the label’s financial problems delayed the printing for several months? How long did it take?

There was no mention that Neat had financial problems at the time but yes it took them seven months to release the album. 

Were there any shows or tours in support of the record?

We were always playing shows, both in the UK and in Holland, some of them coincided with the release of the album. I remember playing a bunch of shows in Holland with Raven around that time.

How about the gig at the Siesta Club in Hengelo, Holland, December 17, 1982, that was released on cd in 2006?

That show was never supposed to have been officially released, it’s more of a bootleg than anything else. Majestic Rock Records were going to put it out, Geoff Gillespie from the label called me and said he’d obtained a ’superb’ recording of the show and wanted to release it. They were going to put it out whether we liked it or not and as the band didn’t have the money to legally stop them l was forced into working on the release to make sure we got something out of it. In the end I got five hundred copies of the CD out of them plus they were supposed to pay us £1000.00 but never did. The label went out of business owing us and other bands a lot of money.  

What do you recall of the 1983 N.W.O.B.H.M. scene compared to the early (1979/1980) days?

I don’t recall an awful lot about the scene in 1983 as we were in the process of changing our style to the more melodic ’This Time’ era. What l do remember though is it wasn’t as exciting as the earlier years. Maybe it was just what we were going through that made it feel less exciting.   

Is the album a kind of late-to-the-game N.W.O.B.H.M. classic, but on the other hand is a landmark of that era?

I think it was kind of indicative of the ’second wave’ of NWOBHM, after the Maiden and Saxon etc wave. Us, Raven, Fist and all the Neat bands, I suppose you could call it the Neat Records era.

How do you view, that you were probably a year or two late in getting your debut out to make much of an impact?

It’s possible that if it had been released earlier it may have made more of an impact, yes l agree. It could have been released a little earlier than it was though because as I’ve said Neat Records sat on it for around seven months before they put it out.  

When it comes to being underrated, Jaguar may as well fit the description…

Ha ha, I agree, well l would say that wouldn’t I! Perhaps we are but there again so are Raven, a criminally underrated band, Diamond Head too. There are a ton of underrated bands who don’t/didn’t get the success they deserved. 

Garry, thanks a lot for your answers, any closing words to the interview?

My pleasure, I’m always surprised and grateful that anyone remembers Power Games after all these years. So thanks for asking me to talk about it….keep on rocking!!!

[xmystophalesx]

Best New Heavy Metal Releases Week of November 18th, 2022

The Heavy Metal train just keeps rolling and week after week with more and more great releases. I started doing this because I was so insanely annoyed with people that were absolutely insistent that nothing good had come out since 1992. I would contend that more of the albums being released now are hands down better than the “Glory Days”. What is being done today on a shoestring budget is simply stunning. So let’s look at a few of these stunning albums. Man, perfect segue…:)

Hellfuck-Diabolical Slaughter (Thrash/Speed)**{sept 9th}

I just came across this and although it was released on September 9th, I just had to put it on this list. If I would have heard this during the week of release, it would have made a serious push for the album of the week. If you even slightly like aggressive Thrash Metal this will put a huge smile on your face. DO NOT MISS THIS ONE!

Candlemass-Sweet Evil Sun (Epic Doom)**

Does anyone today create Doom Metal as good as Candlemass can? I seriously doubt it. This is yet another gem from the Doom Metal masters.

Metalian-Beyond the Wall (Heavy/Speed)**

I have been a fan of this band for quite some time and I swear they just seem to get better and better with each release. This band would be an absolutely perfect addition to the Hell’s Heroes lineup in Houston. Just listen to track 2 “Motorhorse” and if it doesn’t just make you instantly crack a smile and start making you bang your head, you may not actually like Heavy Metal and you may need to reevaluate your life choices.

Istarn-Eschatology (Melodic Black)**

Came across this one late on in the weekend and worried that I wouldn’t find a highlight Black Metal album. It was down to the wire but Istarn showed up to continue the streak of yet another excellent Black Metal album. This genre has been absolutely fantastic over the last couple of years. If you haven’t given this genre a chance in a while, look into it. You may be surprised.

Rising Steel-Beyond the Gates of Hell (Heavy)**

A slab of good old-fashioned Heavy Metal but with a slightly more aggressive slant. If you know the American Power Metal band Cage, this band feels like a more aggressive version of them. Great riffs all over this album that will get that head banging.

That will do it for another week. Can’t believe we are almost at the end of the year. Now starts the anxiety of trying to set my top 30 albums of the year. Ahhhh first world problems. Always remember that music is the passion of the soul. Until next week, and as always,

BANG THY HEAD!!!

All worthy of a listen if you like the genre

*= standout in that genre

**=best of the week regardless of genre

Best of the Week

Candlemass-Sweet Evil Sun (Epic Doom)**

Aggression-From Hell with Hate (Thrash)**

Hellfuck-Diabolical Slaughter (Thrash/Speed)**{sept 9th}

Metalian-Beyond the Wall (Heavy/Speed)**

Rising Steel-Beyond the Gates of Hell (Heavy)**

Istarn-Eschatology (Melodic Black)**

Fatal Punishment-Age of Madness (Thrash)**

Unhallowed Creation-Edge of Existence (Melodic Death)**

Standout in their Genre

Wizards-Seven (Heavy)*

Disinter-Breaker of Bones (Death)*

Freternia-The Final Stand (Power)*

Virtual Symmetry-Virtual Symmetry (Progressive)*

Desert Dragon-This Side of Heaven (Hard Rock)*

Titan’s Rage-Never Surrender (Heavy/Traditional)*

Threshold-Dividing Lines (Progressive)*

17 Crash-Stamina (hard Rock)*

Blood of the Wolf-IV:The Declaration of War Eternal (Death/Black)*

Grimner-Urfader (Folk/Viking)

Rise to the Sky-Stay With Me When You’re Gone (Death/Doom)*

Terrible Sickness-Flesh for the Insatiable (Death)*

Witchunter-Metal Dream (Heavy)*

Well Seasoned Christ-Sanguine (Thrash)*

Airstrike-Power In Your Hand (Heavy/Thrash)*

Enemy Eyes-History’s Hand (Heavy)*

Guapa-Myriad (Psychadelic)*

Worth a listen if you enjoy the genre

Robot God-Worlds Collide (Stoner/Psychadelic)

Ueldes-Foreverer (Atmospheric Black)

Encyrcle-Deeper (Heavy/Speed)

Crypt Rot-An Ancient Summoning (Brutal Death)

Raskasta Joulua-Viides Adventti (Heavy/Hard Rock)

Allagash-Dark Future (Heavy/Thrash)

Medusa Touch-Insaniteyes (Heavy)

Dead Earth-Et Disperdam Illud (Melodic Black)

Rat Rod-Four on the Floor (Hard Rock)

Kamra-Cerebral Alchemy (Atmospheric Black)

IBUKI-My Life (Power)

Rebel Souls-Dawn of Depravity (Death)

Risingfall-Rise or Fall (Heavy)

Scars of the Flesh-In Darkness Alone (Death/Progressive)

Visceral-The Tree of Venomous Fruit (Death)

Cortege-Vandari (Death)

Leatherwolf-Kill the Hunted (Heavy)

With an impressive 5 winter fucking sucks out of a possible 5, Metalian takes pick of the week with yet another outstanding release!

[kyotakumrau]

2021.09.03 DIR EN GREY at CLUB CITTA' -a knot only- report&setlist

September the 3rd was a gloomy rainy day. But it was a start of TOUR21 DESPERATE.

First, we had to exchange our digital tickets for the paper tickets (also confirming the green screen from the questionnaire), then we used the paper tickets when entering. We used the alcohol for hands, got the temperature checked and then tore the tickets ourselves.

It was starting to rain so my friend and I entered quite early. I bought some extra stickers because 9/3 design had Kyo (normal stickers have a date, of you were lucky you also got a shiny one with a band member or a one with all 5 of them). Then we sat and waited for the start.

I'm not a big fan of seats in CITTA. My seat was the last row of the center block. It was very narrow and they had all rows lined up in a way that each seat was perfectly behing the one in the front. When you're on the side it's probably not a problem but for the people in the center it wasn't the best seat plan. I'm glad I was wearing heels (I knew I'll be 逆最前😆).

The stage was quite simple (for dir), but there was still a huge screen in the back. Kaoru's amps have his b&w drawings (one figure in the dark and two faces). Toshiya's are white.

Kyo's stand has the pregnant lady (belly and legs). Die's amps were his regular red.

From the BGM songs my favourite was Theme of High Heels by Ryuichi Sakamoto! There were many metal songs, including Metallica's Unforgiven and also songs like Enya.

The usual announcements they play before the show about the rules etc got updated, they also changed the person (how many years they've been using the same person?).

And then finally it was 6:34-ish and the lights went off. The opening video for the tour consisted of images of sick white people, hospitals, some images from the US regarding discrimination, one image that I remembered well was a sign with 'AmeriKKKa' (I hope to see next time what the sign said).

Fans greeted the band with clapping, it got fiercer each time one of them came on stage.

Kaoru had a dark jacket with dark shirt, his hair was all styled. Toshiya had a white floaty shirt with a (most likely) flower made of fabric, with white on top and more black on the bottom. Die had a black jacket and his signature hair. Shinya was someone I only caught glimpses because of the taller guy in front of me.

Kyo wore an Adidas jacket over a white t-shirt, and he also had Adidas shorts. Very comfy! He went for gold accessories, he had a chain, rings etc. He wears his hair short, with cropped fringe that goes little longer on one side.

The setlist was so interesting!

SE

01 Spilled Milk

02 -朔-saku

03 REPETITION OF HATRED

04 The Fatal Believer

.

05 てふてふ・Tefutefu

06 欲巣にDREAMBOX

07 谿壑の欲・Keigaku no yoku

.

08 赫・Aka

09 Ranunculus

.

10 Devote My Life

11 CLEVER SLEAZOID

12 T.D.F.F.

13 落ちたことのある空・Ochita

14 人間を被る・Ningen wo Kaburu

.

ENCORE

en15 朧・Oboro

en16 Followers

en17 Rubbish Heap

en18 詩踏み・Utafumi

en19 Sustain the Untruth

The flow of the setlist was insane, they started with MARROW and Wtd and then gradually moved to the newer stuff. It worked so well!

The rules from CITTA said no shouting and singing, no moving from our seats (standing up was okay) and no excessive headbanging😂 as in to avoid touching other fans in any way, but even in the narrow space each of us got some of us managed😆

Audience side was QUIET but the response each song got was fierce, with arms in the air, people jumping in place and some (non-excessive!😂) headbanging.

Most of the short breaks between the block of songs were quiet as well, Kyo went to his area in front of the drum set.

There was one video with an abandoned boarsing school or pediatric psychiatric hospital that was quite disturbing, the pig. (maybe DREAMBOX or Keigaku???)

The ending of DREAMBOX was so raw woah.

Even as we couldn't join in singing Kyo often gestured at us when it was our part leaving it unsang (Toshiya was doing those parts) so we could join with our hands and with our hearts.

And damn, Ranunculus.

The break that followed was the only break when we clapped.

The video for DEVOTE, omg!!! They again had the currupted Olympics video. It started with 'TOKYO COVID-19' and then had the giant gold babies marching and fighting, money everywhere, the last image was an olympic logo made from 5 coins that were melting. We went nuts.

And the last block of songs, that was so brutal, so amazing! Kyo was headbanging himself, or jumping, all the time looking at us and asking to give him more.

T.D.F.F. works so well live!! Even with us not being able to go truly crazy the song slayed.

After the main part we continued clapping until the band came back. But it was quite fun as we kept changing the speed and rhythm😂

I think all band members changed for the encore. Kaoru has a dark jacket but with an interesting tie with geometric print. Toshiya wore a black floaty shirt. Kyo the tour t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Shinya... something black? Die wore the purple tour shirt with the sleeves cut off.

Oboro was very raw. I'm so curious what it will feel like when the rules for concerts change/go back to normal.

And then Followers. SAVE brought up so much warmth, so much energy, we all stayed with our hands raised high, both emitting and charging at the same time.

Then from Rubbish Heap we got to use some of that energy😆

Before Sustain Kyo got up on his stand and announced LAST song, while punching his chest he said to let them hear us from 'our hearts', our 'heart voice' 😊

I feel, I hope, we delivered!  During Sustain Kyo went to the sides of the stage, singing while looking at fans, making sure everyone is there 100%.

I also remember one moment when Toshiya was standing by the edge of the stage had his bass high above his head.

When encore ended, there were so many smiles from the band members! Kyo stayed a bit on his stand, clapping with us, pointing at various areas before waving bye and leaving. Other band members moved a bit more on the stage. Like we were sending our heart voice, I felt Kaoru was sending us his heart picks, because he walked and stood with the pick in his outstretched hand😆

Die was the last one to leave the stage, his last wave showed he got quite emotional😊❤️

The applause!!!!👏👏👏

[powdermelonkeg]

Missing Links: A New Hyrule

This story has a prequel called Secrets in the Breeze! Go check it out!

My Missing Links

Wind took a deep breath, savoring the scent of the breeze as blew by. It had been awhile since he'd smelled salt in the air.

It was good to be back near the ocean.

One by one, the other heroes came through the portal, which shut behind them with a blue flash. Hyrule looked at Wind curiously. "Do...you recognize this place?"

"Nope!" Wind spun around with a bright smile. "But we’re near the sea! That’s always a good sign!”

“I beg to differ,” Legend muttered, taking note of his surroundings.

It wasn’t much. They stood atop a cliff that overlooked the sea-bordering countryside, with a sparse collection of villages tucked into the nooks of the nation. But what caught the pink-haired hero’s attention most was the network of golden roads that stretched across the land, leading towards a grand tower far inland.

In the shadow of the massive building stood a castle; one the young man immediately recognized, which threw the whole tower into proportion.

It was...big.

“So, here’s the plan.”

The redheaded man slapped a map against a tree, stabbing it through with his hairpin to keep it in place. He snapped his fingers, and the circuits of his prosthetic hand lit up in timeshift blue. “We came in here,” he said, drawing a glowing X over a place in the north of the Forest Realm. “The loser that stole my control slate ran off, and we got lost chasing him. So now we’re down here.” He circled Whittleton Village.

Fox watched the hero explain with wide eyes, fixated on his glowing fingertips.

“The guy could be anywhere,” he continued. “HOWEVER, if he knows how to calibrate it right, he probably has a map updated on the slate. And if he knows what the slate does, which he has to in order to pull a stunt like he did twice in a row, then he’d head for Hyrule Castle.” Taps drew an arrow towards the castle and tower in the distance. “We’ve already lost a day just getting out of Lost Woods. He’s probably way ahead of us if we travel on foot. But if we use one of the minecart guardians people drive around here...” He traced his finger along the minecart tracks that stretched across the land. “We can probably beat him there, as long as we catch one within the next couple hours.”

He spun to face his companion, clicking the drawing rune off. “Any questions?

Fox’s hand shot in the air. “Mr. Link? How does your arm work?”

Taps gave him a flat look. “Timeshift-powered output core.” He gave his prosthetic a solid pat. “Sheikah tech. Not what we were talking about. Any relevant questions?”

“...Well...” Fox rubbed the back of his head. “The...guardian things...they take passengers, right?” He looked at the hero with big eyes. “So, don’t they charge rupees?”

Taps paused. He hadn’t considered that. “...We can stow away.”

“Absolutely not.” The Hytopian put his hands on his hips sternly. “These people have lives to live outside of us. It’s wrong to steal labor from them.”

“They’re not GONNA have lives to live if this timeline gets screwed with by my slate!”

“Then we should get money fast, shouldn’t we?”

Taps’ eyes narrowed, and he crossed his arms. “I didn’t exactly bring my wallet with me when I got yanked through time and space. You plan on selling your extra clothes for it?”

Fox gasped in horror, hugging his bulky luggage. “Never!”

“Well then. Not that big a problem, is it?”

Fox bit his lip. “...Give me one hour,” he finally said. “If I can’t earn us enough rupees for a trip by then, then we can talk about stowing away.”

Taps rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He held up a metal finger. “You’ve got one hour.”

Legend walked along the strange track, examining the golden triangles beneath his feet as he followed the rails. The power in them tugged at his attention, no matter how hard he tried to look away.

What were they?

“Hey.” An elbow dug into his shoulder. “Hyrule to Link, are you there?”

Legend side-eyed the offender crossly. “No.”

“Well then,” Warriors replied, smirking. “I guess that means I get your share of lunch.”

“You touch my apple pie and you find out exactly what my medallions do.”

“Ouch. Touchy.” He followed Legend’s line of sight down to the ground. “Must be an interesting road.”

Legend nodded, looking back at the tracks. “They’re...powerful,” he said, gesturing to them. “They radiate magic, and they feel...Hylian. Like they’re alive.”

Twilight shuddered. “I certainly hope they’re not,” he said, giving Epona a pat. “The last thing I want to worry about is living roads.”

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The Chain jumped in unison at the loud sound, attention forcefully torn from the Spirit Tracks at their feet.

Off in the distance, blurred by a shimmer of heat, a steam-powered machine charged down the tracks at breakneck speed. With a frown, Twilight whipped out his Hawkeye mask to get a better look.

It was HUGE; it had to be at least as tall as three horses standing on top of each other. As it rounded the bend and headed towards them, he got a good look at its segments—a house, a tray, and a cannon?

Twilight squinted, adjusting the mask’s scope. “What in Farore’s name...”

“What is it?” Time asked, raising an eyebrow.

“...Some kind of mechanical caravan.” Twilight concluded after a moment of thought, lowering the mask. “And it’s not stopping. We should move.”

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 

“NOW.”

Quickly, the group got off the tracks, giving them a WIDE distance.

As the steam-powered beast approached, it let out a shrill, screeching noise, causing the heroes to clamp their hands over their ears in pain until it finally rolled to a stop with a pressurized hiss.

Time slowly lowered his hands, shaking off an involuntary shiver at the redead-esque noise. “Everyone alright?”

Hyrule groaned, rubbing his ears sorely. “I think I finally feel bad for DIgdogger...”

“We’re fine,” Four answered. “I’m going to have a headache for the next week and a half, though...”

“Tell me about it...what even WAS that?” Wind asked, scrunching up his eyes as he popped the pressure in his ears.

“‘Hoy!”

The seafarer suddenly snapped to attention at the familiar greeting.

“’Hoy!”

Link leaned out of the engine cab and waved to the band of...soldiers.

They had to be soldiers, right? They had swords and armor. Maybe there was a ceremony or something coming up.

One of the group, a young-looking boy in blue, waved back to him. “‘Hoy, stranger!”

“Everything alright?” Link called. “You look kind of...lost.”

The group looked between each other. “We kind of are,” another one said, a heavily-scarred one with a long ponytail. “Can you tell us where we are?”

“Just west of Whittleton. Where are you trying to go?”

“Hyrule Castle town,” the most heavily armored one replied. “Is it far from here?”

Link looked the group over critically. “...Not really. It’s a 20 minute ride by train. Can I ask who you guys are?”

“An orchestra!” The kid that had initially greeted him exclaimed.

“...An orchestra.”

“Yep!” He pulled out his baton. “See, I’m a conductor, and he’s got a harp, and he’s got an ocarina...”

“What are you playing, then?” Link said, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh-”

“Song of the Hero,” the friendly-looking one in the white cape supplied. “It’s a classic.”

“...Right.” Link held back a sigh, feeling like this was going to be trouble. He could just leave them...

...But this was Bulblin territory. He’d feel bad.

He could just tell the guard captain to be on the lookout once he got to Hyrule Castle. That’d keep them in line, right?

“...Do you guys want a lift?”

The train ride was such a change from walking everywhere. Granted, it had been difficult to convince Epona to climb into the passenger car with them, and Legend was sharing a VERY uncomfortable stare with a fluffle of rabbits gathered at his feet. But, for the vast majority of the heroes, it was a chance to rest their legs and watch the scenery fly by.

And it was incredible.

The only comparable thing Wind had seen in his travels was speeding around on Linebeck’s steamboat, and even that required him to be focused on not running into barrels and sandbars.

This, though? It was smooth. The train ran in a straight line, zooming by acres and acres of land without so much as a bump in the wrong direction, with endless ocean through one side of the car and towering mountains through the other. Thinking fast, he pulled out his pictobox and snapped a few shots as he went along.

When the train made its first stop, the screeching sound was notably more bearable through the barriers of the cabin walls. It still made Hyrule wince, but it was a far cry from the veritable scream they’d had to endure before.

As it finally came to a full stop, the engineer that’d picked them up peered into the cabin. “Nobody get up yet, we’re not here. I’m just picking up some more passengers.”

Time raised an eyebrow. “You do this kind of thing often?”

The stranger gave him a deadpan look. “Nope. Never in my life.” Without another word of explanation, he shut the door.

Time stared after him, taken aback.

Had he just....been sassed?

A moment later, the back door of the cabin opened, and two new passengers entered.

“I told you I could pay fare!”

“Yeah, yeah. Still think we could have saved money.”

They sat in the back seat, bickering quietly and, to Legend’s relief, attracting the fluffle away from him. As the train resumed its travel down the road, he found himself listening in to their conversation.

“-plan once we get there?”

“We start looking. Duh.”

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?”

“Look, if someone uses it, we’ll know. It’s not exactly an easy thing to- ...hide.”

Curious at what had made the newcomer trail off, Legend looked back at them over his shoulder.

The redhead—the one who had ended the conversation—was staring at Wild in shock.

The pink-haired one, on the other hand, Legend recognized instantly. His head spun; the Chain had only just gotten the means to time travel themselves, how had the Hytopian guy with the friendship tokens-?!

Feeling Legend’s gaze on him, Fox looked up, unnerved, then froze in shock as he came to the same conclusion Legend did.

I know you. You shouldn’t BE here.

Suddenly, the train heaved, throwing everyone out of their seats. The once-smooth ride came to an abrupt halt as the train derailed, skidding across the raw ground with a terrifying SCREECH before grinding to a halt and tilting precariously. Twilight and Wild both scrambled to grab Epona and brace her as the car finally tipped, landing on its side with a crash.

Silence hung in the air for one brief, panic-laced second.

Then, in an instant, the redheaded stranger shoved his companion out the back door and vaulted over the cabin seats, barreling into Wild and leaping for the front door. As Wild was abruptly yanked out of his daze, he spotted the Sheikah Slate in the thief’s hand before the redhead made his escape.

Fox stared at Taps as he ran outside. “What are you doing?!”

“Shut up, I’m focusing!” Taps said, frantically clicking through the slate. “Where is it, this layout is atrocious-”

“Did you just steal the-”

“He had my control slate!”

“They had SWORDS!”

“So do we!” Taps stopped on a screen, and sighed in relief. “Finally!” With a blue flash, he summoned his Divine Beast, wasting no time in clambering on board. “Come on, get on!”

“But my clothes-”

“HEY!”

The two time travelers looked over as Wild emerged from the train car to shame mankind, eyes blazing with fury as he raced towards them.

Fox squeaked in alarm, quickly leaping onto the Divine Beast and clinging to Taps. “Drive, DRIVE!”

Wild did his best to give chase as the duo sped off, but his mortal Hylian legs couldn’t keep up with the ingenuity of Sheikah technology. Before his very eyes, two complete strangers fled into the distance with his Divine Beast.

Link picked himself up off the ground, clutching his ribs in pain as he raced back towards his toppled train.

He had so many people on board, he had a horse back there. If any of them were hurt—

Without a moment’s thought for himself, he threw the cabin door open. “Is everyone okay?!”

Everyone jolted, reaching for their weapons in panic, when suddenly, there was a yelp of pain from the back seat.

Sky clutched his stung hand as he dropped the Master Sword, staring at the engineer in shock.

“You’re...one of us.”

[apocxlypticangel]

sated (bucky barnes)

Prompt: Bucky helps you wind down after a tough day

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Spoilers:None

Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, mentions of unsatisfactory masturbation, hint of degradation, mention of muscle relaxer.(just shameless smut definitely not based off of real life frustrations)

Authors note: First time writing something like this, kinda nervous. Please leave your thoughts and positive feedback/criticism. Thank you, lovelies!

18+ puh-lease! thank you! :)

After about an hour of unsuccessful attempts to ease your stress, the clock now read 4:00am. Throwing your head back, you sighed. Fuck me. “Ha, that would be nice.” you snort, quickly throwing on a t-shirt and panties before leaving your room to find your way to the compound kitchen in the dark. You needed water and a muscle relaxer, anything to ease the tension in your neck and the pain in your head. It had been a stressful day... or week. Or month.

Once you reached the kitchen you flicked the light on, making quick and noisy work of getting your glass and filling it with water. You thought nothing of it, its 4am and the compound is like a damn castle. You looked over the counter into the living room, debating on whether or not to find something on TV to drown out your desperation, but quickly find a pair of sleepy blue eyes staring directly at you from the couch. Of course it was Bucky fucking Barnes. Suddenly you were very aware of your minuscule attire.

“Could you be any louder, doll? I wasn’t quite ready to go to sleep yet.” He grumbled out, raising one eyebrow at you and tracing your body with his eyes. Your surely disheveled hair, dry lips and eye bags probably weren’t helping your situation. “I could be louder actually. Maybe you should sleep in your room, Barnes?” You accidentally snapped and then sighed. “Sorry, ‘m sorry. That was rude of me.” His slightly annoyed expression quickly turned into a frown while he stared at your exhausted form. “What’s wrong, doll? Can I help with anything?” His eyes softened when you slumped down at his questions. Of course you could help. You could come fuck me. Before you realized you had even said it under your breathe Bucky’s eyes narrowed. You slapped your hand over your mouth, mentally cursing yourself for being so stupid.

“So that’s what’s wrong?” He hesitantly inquired. You were now pinching your nose between your pointer finger and thumb. “You know, maybe I’ve had a rough day and maybe all I wanted to do was fucking orgasm, but that’s not really any of your business..” You heard a faint chuckle, shuffling and then feet padding across the floor before they stopped in front of you, “It is when you ask me to fuck you, sweetheart” You could just hear the smugness dripping from his voice, but it dissipated as soon as the pet name came out.

Tiredly, you drug your eyes up to meet Bucky’s and sighed. After today, your brain was fried and you could have been defeated by Groot at this moment. “Do you want me to help you?” he offered quietly, eyes flitting away from yours for a millisecond. You stood there, looking at the boy- no, the man in front of you. It was only now you noticed he was shirtless with a pair of sweats hanging low on his hips. His abs carved perfectly along with the v-shape that disappeared into his pants. This man was built like a fucking Greek God.

“I-... I don’t-“ You stumbled over your words, cheeks flushing. “All you have to do is ask, doll. Tell me what you need from me.” His reply came soft with a warm smile creeping onto his face.

“I-um... yes, uh, please. I need it so bad” Your words came out jumbled as you tugged the hem of your t-shirt.

Bucky took your chin between his pointer finger and thumb, tilting your head to look him in the eyes. He let his lips graze yours for a few seconds before he connected his lips with yours softly. It wasn’t a needy kiss, he was feeling you out and you had nothing left to do but just take what his soft mouth gave you.

He walked you back and pressed you up against the kitchen counter, his hands made their way down your sides to your thighs and he caressed them. He slowly removed his lips from yours to kiss down your chin, around and down your jaw line to your neck where he nipped at the flesh just below your ear, his tongue quickly slipping out and licking over the place he surely left a mark.

You let out a sigh at the feel of his contrasting hands. His right is soft and warm while his left is firm and cold, the feel of his teeth and tongue on your neck adding to the sensitivity of your skin and the heat pooling between your thighs. “Bucky, bedroom please. We can’t do it out here.” He let out a small laugh against your neck and gripped your thighs to pull them up around his waist. Your breath hitched in your throat as you quickly wrapped your arms around his neck. He walked to the elevator to take it up to his floor.

When he reached his room he hurriedly opened the door, moving you into just one of his arms, making your core rub against his covered cock. You let out a quiet moan and circled your hips against him; trying to gain any friction you could. He let out a deep hum and laid you on your back on his bed. He caught your lips in a hungry kiss and grabbed a fist of your hair to pull your head back. He licked up the column of your neck before grabbing the bottom of your shirt and pulling it over and off your body, discarding it to the floor somewhere.

Your cheeks flushed when he pulled his head back to stare at your breasts for a split second before he dipped his head and licked one of your nipples. You let out a sharp breath when he took your sensitive bud into his mouth and brought his cold, metal hand up to toy with your other nipple. He followed his first sharp suck with a light bite to your nipple, causing you to arch your back and let out a soft moan. You tangled your fingers into his dark hair and pulled ever so lightly, forcing a grunt from his mouth.

He flashed his eyes up to your face, a devilish smile dancing on his lips before he began kissing down your torso, down your abdomen to reach just above the top of your panties. He licked from the band of your soaked panties to your bellybutton before placing a wet kiss to your clothed clit. You bucked your hips against his mouth involuntarily. He pulled down your panties and tossed them beside your now exposed form.

You whimpered at the vulnerability of your state. Completely naked and soaked for the super soldier. He tugged your legs apart to take in the sight of your dripping cunt and smiled. “Look at you. Absolutely fucking soaked for me, sweetheart.” He placed small kisses to your inner thighs but never quite made it to where you needed him the most. “Bucky, please. Please just do something, anything.” You pleaded as you locked eyes with him. You could barely see the blue around his dark pupils that were blown with lust.

He brought two fingers up and spread your lips to lick up your slit to your bundle of nerves, drawing a wanton moan from your open mouth. He winked at you and lapped at your wet cunt. He gripped your legs so you couldn’t close them whilst he slid his tongue into your tight hole, thrusting it in and out before coming up to suck your clit into his mouth.

“Fuck, Bucky. Don’t stop” You choked out, gripping his sheets so hard your knuckles turned white. You could feel the coil in your stomach wrapping itself tighter and tighter. You were almost there. “Almost-almost, Bucky, please!” At that he let go of one of your thighs and slipped a finger into your tight core. You let out a breathy moan and ground your hips into his finger, needing more. He caught on and slipped a second finger in, thrusting and curling them until he found your g-spot; hitting it the first time and you couldn’t help but moan rather loudly, which prompted Bucky to find your panties with his other hand and shove them into your mouth.

You bit down on the fabric inside of your mouth as the thrusted his finger one last time and gave your clit a not so soft bite, tearing your orgasm from you. He watched your face intently, how your eyes shut and brows furrowed. He felt you clamp down around his fingers and go stiff in his hold as he finger fucked you right through your perfect, much needed orgasm.

Once he was sure you had ridden your high completely, he removed his fingers and sucked them clean while moving back up your body. You tore your panties from your mouth and grabbed the back of his neck to bring him down for a sloppy kiss, moaning at the taste of yourself. He pulled away and looked at you through hooded eyes, “Think you can cum one more time, princess? Wanna cum on my fat cock, huh?” He cooed and you could only moan out in response, grabbing the top of his sweats and pulling them down, urging Bucky to take them completely off.

He was sat on his knees in front of you when you finally got a look at his cock. It was long and thick and your mouth suddenly went dry at the sight of him. You wanted it in you so bad that you grabbed his shoulders and drug him down onto your body, locking your legs around his waist. He chuckled, “Needy little thing aren’t you? So desperate to take my cock”

You didn’t even have time to think about answering him before he slid his red, leaking tip through your wet folds before pressing into your core inch by inch. You clenched around his length as he slid into you and moaned. He was only a little ways in but he filled you so perfectly. The stretch was perfect, the way it stung and split you open felt amazing.

He pushed himself the rest of the way in, burying himself to the hilt he left out a moan. “Fuck your little pussy takes me so well, sweetheart. So wet and tight just for me.”

You laced your fingers through his hair as he dragged himself out slowly, leaving just his head inside and then pushing himself back in at an agonizing speed. “Buck, please. No teasing. Need to be fucked, please.” You whined out and pressed the heels of your feet into his ass, urging him to move. He buried his face into your neck and complied, beginning to snap his hips up into yours at a vigorous pace.

Moans fell from your mouth as he fucked into you. Your eyes were screwed shut, trying to meet his thrusts with your hips but ultimately failing. He grabbed one of your ankles and slipped your leg up and over his shoulder, angling himself perfectly to hit your sweet spot.

You cried out, his name falling from your lips as you came closer and closer to the edge, the coil from only moments ago wound tighter than before. Bucky was grunting and panting, “Won’t you play with your pretty clit, baby? Gonna cum soon, but can’t until you do again.” You immediately obeyed, sliding your hand between the two of you and rubbing tight and fast circles onto your throbbing clit.

Bucky’s pace became frantic and impossibly harder as your pussy fluttered around him. He thrusted up into you and hit your g-spot roughly, snapping the coil in your belly.

“Shit, Bucky! Oh fuckfuckfuck yes!” He fucked you through your second orgasm, hips stuttering and grunts of your name falling from his lips. One last hard thrust and he was stilling deep inside you, spilling his seed. You moaned at the feeling, clenching and milking him for all he was worth.

Both of you stayed in that position, Bucky’s limp body on top of yours. He picked his head up and placed a kiss to your cheek before pulling out slowly and getting off the bed. You watched him walk into his connected bathroom and heard running water. He returned with a wash cloth and cleaned you up, throwing it back into his bathroom and collapsing beside you.

“Feeling better now that I fucked your brains out, Doll?” He turned his head and smiled at you.

“Didn’t know old men like you knew how to do that kinda stuff to a woman.” You quipped and turned on your side, laying your head on his chest and smoothing your palm against his toned abdomen.

He rolled his eyes playfully and wrapped his arms around you. “Go to sleep, before I put something else in that mouth besides your panties.”

You hummed thoughtfully, but decided you were too tired to argue. “Okay, thank you. Goodnight.”

“Anytime, dollface. Goodnight”

[feral-dumbass]

Speak of the Devil

James “Bucky” Barnes/ Female Reader

Summary: You tag along with Bucky to a undercover reconnaissance mission at a goth club. Smut ensues. 

Includes: Degradation, Choking, little bit of slut shaming, unprotected semi-public sex, hint of cockwarming, dirty talk, oral

Words: 4,307

A/N: This is my first fic I have ever posted on here. I hope I included all the warnings correctly. Not sure if I need to include fingers in mouth, but that happens. Title credit goes to the Misfits. Tagging @gagmebucky​ and @babybluestan​. Thanks for giving me the guts to post this! I am so thankful for you guys. 

Masterlist

The bass of Molchat Doma vibrates the walls as you search for Bucky. When you stepped into the goth club on 66th street, you were more nervous than you liked to admit. The club had recently gone under new management and is rumored to be a place for arms trafficking. It is ingenious, actually. Under all the makeup and leather, anyone could hide their identity. Take Bucky for instance. Tight jeans, a black t-shirt, some eyeliner, and a leather jacket down to his calves, Bucky is unnoticeable. Also, helps that the most identifiable thing about him is covered under gloves. Don’t even get started on the leather band and silver chain wrapped around his neck. You need to fan yourself just thinking about it. 

You also look quite different from your usual lab coat and safety goggles and Bucky has certainly noticed. He could not keep his hand off your thick fishnet covered thighs the whole way here. 

With a kiss to your cheek, Bucky had left you at the bar to check out the area. That had been twenty minutes ago and sadly, people were starting to notice you too. 

You felt eyes on you as you mindlessly scrolled through the meme group chat. Peter and Shuri were having an entertaining fight on who sent the best memes. You couldn’t handle the creepy feeling anymore. You were ready to show this creep the pretty switchblade Bucky got you for your birthday. Chin raised, your eyes met with green ones across the bar. You tried to give your best resting bitch face with dead eyes, but he only smirked and took that as his cue to swoop in. You slammed cash on the table for your blood red drink and slipped into the crowd before he could make two steps in your direction. You went down a hallway in the back which led you to your latest predicament. Where the fuck is your thick ass boyfriend? 

You have enough PHDs under your belt to know not to yell out Bucky’s name. Searching for his wide frame under the neon lights is the only option you have left as you pass the restrooms. You think finding a 6’2” man would be easy, but apparently, every alternative person wears 5 inch platforms. Not like you can really blame them. If they weren’t so expensive, you’d be Bucky’s height too right now. 

As you fill with envy for people that can fit into knee high platforms, an arm wraps around you and yanks you into a unisex bathroom. “It’s me.” Bucky’s deep voice assures before you can even start going through the defense attacks he taught you. You slip out of his hold and turn around to face him. Ignoring the fact Bucky has taken off his jacket and his muscles are now stressing the seams of his long sleeve shirt, you cross your arms. 

“Where have you been?”

Bucky blinks confused before finding his answer. “Bugging this two floor building. Why? What’s wrong?” You will tell him sooner or later. Might as well do it now. 

“Nothing. It’s just, uh, a skeevy man was staring at me far too long. We made eye contact and he tried coming over.” 

“Did he hurt you because I will-” Bucky’s already heading for the door before you squeeze his arm. 

“Bucky,” you laugh astounded that he’s so ready to fight for you. You didn’t even give him a description. Bucky lets you pull him back to the center of the room. “I slipped through the crowd before he could try anything. I’m fine.” 

“Promise?” 

“I promise. I’m fine.” You stand on the tip of your toes to kiss Bucky’s cheek but he turns his head to kiss you instead. He kisses you deeply just long enough to leave you wanting more.

“You still have your knife right?” 

“Yes, you dork.” He visibly relaxes at the confirmation. You take a hold of his chin and turn his face towards you. “You do realize you have cut on your cheek right?” It’s not too bad. A medium cut surrounded by bruising. Super serum is probably at work already healing it, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful. It’s not like you’re left with the best of first aid in the bathroom. You head to the sink to wet a paper towel with soap and water. 

“I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.” You glare at Bucky through the mirror. “I don’t suggest going three doors down. A couple of guards are sleeping on the clock.” He walks over and cozies up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he kisses your shoulder. “Is that really necessary. I think there’s more pressing matters to attend to.” He rolls his hard on into your ass as he kisses across your shoulder and up your neck. 

“Really?” You pry as you wring out the paper towel.

“I have been hard since you walked out in the commons.” Your face gets warmer at his confession. “I mean-” Bucky groans as he looks down at your fishnet covered legs. 

“While we’re on the subject, the eyeliner is working for me.” You’ve piqued Bucky’s interest. He meets your eyes through the mirror again. “You should wear it more often. You look so much like-”

“If you say Chase from the Covenant, I’m leaving.” Life drains from his eyes as he speaks.

“Like a man who can get into my pants.” 

“Nice save.” 

“Anyways, I say fuck it. Let’s do it.” Bucky’s eyes light up with excitement. “But clean the blood off your face first.” Bucky takes the paper towel out of your hands, scrubs the line of dried blood off his cheek, and throws it in the trash can before you can blink. Bucky turns your face to meet his lips not even a second later. He kisses you even deeper than before slipping his tongue in your mouth. You lift your hand to thread through Bucky’s hair. At the feel of your hand in his hair, he breaks away. 

“No. No. Keep your hands on the sink. I think this could be fun.” He grabs both of your wrists and places your hands on the edge of the sink. He’s moving your hair off your neck before his lips connect with it. “So pretty, baby. Is this all for me?” He mumbles before placing a hickey on your neck. His hands squeeze your thighs before snaking up your torso and kneading your breasts through your top. Lost in the pleasure only Bucky can give, you assume his question is rhetorical. You learn it wasn’t as he stops his ministrations. “Is this mine?”

You scramble to find your words. “Yeah.” Your voice cracks. “Yes.”

“Good girl.” He looks directly into your eyes through the stickered mirror as he unzips the front of your top. Bucky brings his gloved hand up to your mouth. “Bite,” He mumbles before planting multiple kisses on your neck. 

You bite down on his index finger and he pulls his hand away, leaving the glove in your mouth. He quickly takes the glove, stuffing it in his back pocket, before his right hand is kneading one of your bare breasts. You sigh at the feel of his calloused hand on your soft skin. You get a moment to enjoy the feeling until Bucky is lifting his other gloved hand toward your mouth. You get the memo without having to be told. You help tear off his glove for his metal hand and he’s stuffing it in his back pocket again. Instead of going for your other breast, two of Bucky’s metal fingers tap on your bottom lip. 

It is not like you to deny him. You take his fingers in his mouth and suck on them, giving them the same attention you’d give his dick. Bucky leaves the growing patch of hickies on your neck to growl at the sight. “Such a fucking tease.” His metal fingers press down on your tongue making you take his fingers deeper. He let’s up when he knows you are about to choke. “Can’t wait to get inside you, but first I want to see you cum on my fingers. Would you like that, honey?” His right hand leaves your chest and plays with the hem of your short skirt. 

With his fingers still in your mouth,  you nod, widen your stance, and back your ass up into his crotch. He chuckles lowly right next to your ear before his right hand is yanking up your skirt. Your skin tight skirt barely budges with one hand. 

“You gotta be kidding me?” Bucky takes his metal hand out of your mouth and uses it to yank up your skirt. You pray to whoever’s listening that your horny boyfriend doesn’t rip your bottoms off. It’d make getting out of the club a lot more messier. “This skirt is annoying me. You’ll just have to be naked for a week to make it up to me.” Thankfully, your skirt moves up your body to bunch at your waist. You don’t have time for a witty retort or to even think about how you were airborne for a second before Bucky is digging his metal fingers into your sex. At the feel of fishnet over wet folds, he pauses. “Wait, are you-”

“Not wearing panties? Yep.” 

He lets out the longest groan to date. “You’re gonna kill me.” Bucky tears open a hole in your stockings at the apex of your thighs before massaging and digging into your sex with vengence. “That’s what you’re gonna do. Forget all the highrisks missions. The stupid fucking guards. I’m gonna die because my girlfriend can’t wear a fucking decent pair of underwear.” Bucky groans and he’s… he’s being unfair as two of his thick metal fingers slip into you. He knows how much you love it when he uses his metal hand. Bucky is using it against you to sear his touch into your brain. You throw your head back onto his shoulder as he reaches sensitive depths inside you. His right hand goes back to kneading your chest.

“Wearing panties makes it harder f-for… for you to fuck me. Need to be prepared for your horny ass 24/7.” You pant in between words. Bucky raises an unimpressed eyebrow. The speed of his pumping fingers quicken to the point where the both of you can hear how wet you are over the distant music. “W-when are you not… horny?”

“I’m not even going to entertain you with an answer when I have this wet pussy to play with. ‘Sides, I’m not the one who sounds horny right now. “ Bucky’s metal thumb rubs your clit. “I’m not the one desperate enough for my boyfriend’s cock that I'll spread my legs in a public bathroom. Honestly, you just went with it? No second thoughts?” You’re too overwhelmed with pleasure to even bother a response. Bucky clicks his tongue. “That’s not good girl behavior. More like slutty behavior.” Bucky’s eyes light up with an idea. “Be a good slut and cum for me.”

“Bucky,” you gasp pleadingly. 

“C’mon, you heard me. Cum for me. It’s the least you can do.” He’s sucking on a pulse point on your neck when you go rigid underneath him. You cry out as you reach your euphoric high. 

“God damnit, you’re so gorgeous when you cum.” Bucky makes you feel the full effect of your orgasm as he continues to pump his fingers and rub your clit. You have to practically tear his metal arm off you to get peace. Both of his hands leave you and you can hear the tell tale sound of his pants being undone. 

You get a small amount of reprieve before Bucky is rubbing his dick through your drenched folds. His thick cock stimulating your sensitive nerves. Bucky’s steel toed boot nudges your stance wider and he’s dipping into your entrance just enough for you to start to feel the intoxicating stretch of him. You’re arching your back at the burn when he pulls out suddenly. You sputter as you try to find your words. 

“I don’t think you really want my cock.” He goes back to spreading your folds over his cock. The tip runs across your sensitive, overworked clit every once in a while.

“I’m literally on display for your fucking dick right now.” 

“Then say it.” Bucky nuzzles your neck and blows cool air on the patch of hickies. 

“Bucky, please fuck me. I’ve been wet since you mentioned you had to wear a leather jacket. Let me have it.” 

Bucky snorts at that. “My sweet slut. Always so ready and willing for my cock.” 

“Only a s-slut-” Bucky slides into you slowly making you feel every massive inch of him  “- f-for you.” You whimper at the feel of him as your back arches. You're trapped in between Bucky and the sink. No choice but to feel all of him. 

Bucky rumbles right against your back. “My own little whore. I like the sound of that.” He tests the waters by thrusting shallow. You’re convulsing around his cock. It always takes a few to get used to the initial stretch. He groans. “Always so fucking tight. My own personal heaven.” He hasn’t been able to stop his little thrusts, addicted to the feel of you. 

“B-Bucky,” you gasp strained. “P-please, move. Do something.” 

“Look at you so desperate for my cock. I love it. Such a good whore.” He pulls out and you could cry until he’s thrusting back in, knocking the wind out of you. You gasp, collecting enough air for him to knock it out of you again. Again. And again. It’s not before long, Bucky is setting a brutal pace and all you can do is take it. You are going lax as the pleasure makes your extremities tingly. Bucky is pretty much the only thing holding you up as he brings three of his right fingers towards your mouth. He doesn’t even have to tap on your lips. You open your mouth for him to slip his fingers inside and suck on them. Bucky’s eyes zero in on your pretty lips wrapped around his fingers. 

“What a good slut. Such a good girl. I love you so much.” His metal hand gently wraps around the base of your neck. His index finger and thumb stroke the skin right underneath your choker causing goosebumps to break out. “This looks so pretty on you, baby.” He kisses the spot your jawline and neck connect before continuing. “I think we both know how much better my hand is wrapped around your neck though.” He gives a light squeeze, slightly cutting off your blood flow, and grins at you. A broken moan leaves you as drool pools around his fingers starting to drip down his hand and your chin. “So fucking stunning. Should have got out my phone before we started.”

A light, airy feeling starts to creep into your head, kind of like your floating. Bucky’s pace never lets up and you’re close. So, so close.  A few more thrusts and Bucky is reaching new depths. You’re knuckles strain as you grip the sink hard. 

“Shit.” He grunts. His fingers press down on your tongue not give a fuck if you gag. Your eyes widen as his warmth floods you. Bucky’s pace slows and he’s pumping his hips shallowly while he cums.

 As much as you love the bare feel of him, you’re pissed. You were so close to an orgasm and he stopped. It was without clittoral stimulation too. It was gonna be groundbreaking. You actually gag on the pressure of his fingers down your throat and smack his wet wrist. He quickly takes his fingers out of your mouth and apologizes. You can’t believe you're stomping your foot while still on your boyfriend’s dick, but there’s a first for everything. You’re actually pouting as you cross your arms over your bare chest and jut out your lower lip. 

“Bucky!” You wait for him to take his eyes off your ass and meet yours through the mirror. 

He smacks your ass, squeezes it, and hums, mildly distracted. “Yeah?” He glances up and does a double take. “You’re pissed?”

“Uh yeah. Do you know how close I was before you ruined it? I-” Bucky takes his hand off your throat and uses both to dig his thumbs in the dip of your back as he shushes you.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you.” You’re frustrated and slightly on edge when Bucky slowly pulls out. “Don’t get more upset, but that was literally the hottest thing we’ve done. You have never looked hotter.” 

“Why would I get upset when I feel the same.” You begrudgingly agree. 

“Oh my god, you’re gonna hold not letting you come against me. You’re such a baby.” You open your mouth to defend yourself, but Bucky turns you around and lifts you on to the edge of the sink before you can start. Butterflies erupt in your stomach at that manhandling and you ignore it. While you avoid his eyes and glare at the wall over his shoulder, he wipes some of the drool off your chin. You melt on the inside and try not to show it. If you look in his eyes, you’re going to forgive him. If you look into his eyes, you’re going to forgive him. “This is ridiculous. When have I ever left you hanging? Don’t you think maybe I had a plan?” Your eyes slowly slide over to his. His eyes, still darkened by lust, bore into you. “I don’t want to see you cum on my cock through the mirror. I want you to face me, eyes rolled back, mouth gaping as I repeatedly reach all the sensitive spots inside you.” 

“You’re the one that’s the fucking tease.” You smack his broad chest. He takes your hand and kisses each knuckle. His hand then goes to knead your thighs dangling off the edge. 

“So, what do you say? Second round?” 

“I can’t believe I am saying this, but I’m sexually frustrated and still slightly mad. Fuck me before someone comes in.” He wedges himself between your thick thighs. Bucky leans down to kiss you and you thread your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck, happy to get to touch him.  He eventually stops kneading your thighs, just feeling the texture of the mesh stretched across your skin. 

Bucky groans as you nip at his lips when he pulls away. His head drops down and shakes it in disbelief.  “You need to wear these more often.” He looks very serious at you and you would snicker if you weren’t about to fuck. You do smirk at him though and swirl his hair between your fingers. 

“You gonna fuck me in public more often if I do?” You wipe some of your burgundy lipstick off the edge of his bottom lip as you ask. 

Bucky’s Adam’s apple bobs as he gulps. “I-is that what you want?” He’s grabbing your ass and pulling you closer to the edge. You can feel his hardening cock against your hip. You’re so close to Bucky, you lean in just a few inches to press your chest against his and whisper sultry in his ear.

“I am constantly ready for your cock. Twenty four seven. Name a place and I’ll spread my legs. So fucking big. Feels so damn good.” You kiss right underneath his ear and then move a few inches down to suck hickey on a soft spot of his neck. With super soldier recovery rate, it won’t last long, but it sure does rile him up. He moans and it echoes off the linoleum poster covered walls. You love the vibrations underneath your lips as he tilts his head to the other side. You know his eyes are fluttering as you can’t help but to give him a few others hickies next to it. 

You lean back to admire your handiwork. Purple blotches litter his neck in between smudges of burgundy lipstick. You’re pretty sure you’ve wiped off all your lipstick on Bucky. His blown out pupils watch you like a hawk, hands digging into your ass. He’s rubbing his hard on into the crease of your stomach and thighs and he doesn’t even know it. “C’mon, I want to feel the ache of you tomorrow. Fuck me like the whore that I am.” You feel a chill run down his spine before he finally takes action. 

He rolls up his sleeves and of course, because your chest is now facing him, he needs to leave a few hickies on them. As he guides his dick to your entrance, you wrap your legs around his waist. Bucky momentarily ceases the hickies to watch your puffy folds easily accept his wide cock. Both of you are groaning at the feeling. 

“Your pussy’s so wet for me. Fuck.” Bucky’s too turned for a filter. You keep your edging comment to yourself and kiss his sweaty temple. The edging thoughts stewing inside are knocked out of you as Bucky fingers trace the place you two are joined. He uses the excess of your combined wetness to rub your clit. Pleasure makes your toes curl. 

“Not what I meant when I said fuck me, Bastard.” You can’t get Bucky to move his hips without falling on your ass. He seems perfectly fine to have you warm his hard dick as he kisses and leaves hickies along your collar bones. Your free hand grabs his bicep and you’re close to coming already. 

“Yeah. Your bastard.” You can feel him grin against your skin. You’d comment if you weren’t about to cum. 

“C-close. Please don’t stop.” You gasp out, begging as the rise of your orgasm hits. You’re squeezing Bucky while in your peak. He almost groans as loud as you’re moaning.

“You’re so gorgeous. Love when you convulse around my cock, honey.” He kisses your cheek momentarily before going back down to your chest. He starts pumping his cock in and out of you. This time literally knocking the wind out of you. You’re oversensitive from your orgasm and he never truly let you come down from it. Bucky is certainly making his promise. You’ll feel him in your guts for the next few days. Your hands run through his hair and pull on the ends. His mouth finally detaches from your chest as he moves with your hand. He lets out a full blown out moan that makes your heart pound. Bucky always lets out the filthiest moans when you pull his hair. You fucking love it. His metal hand leaves your ass. He grabs a hold of the edge of the sink as he pace picks up. 

As much as you love filling all your wet dreams with the hottest audio ever, you don’t have the strength to keep your arm up for long. Your hand drops to his back. His muscles ripple underneath your fingertips as you dig your nails into his back. Both of you panting into each other's ear. Your legs shake at the approaching orgasm. 

“I know you’re close. Be a good whore. Cum on my cock. I’ll wait for you.” He rubs your clit even faster. 

“FUCK.” You’ve never been happier for loud music blasting through the club’s speakers. An intense orgasm takes over you. White dots fill your vision as tears collect at your waterline. With how hard your gripping his cock, Bucky isn’t far behind. He can only get in a few more thrusts before he’s cumming again. He bites into your shoulder and groans. Shivers wreck down your spine as his warmth fills you for the second time tonight. Bucky lets the sink carry his weight as he grips it hard. 

There’s a groaning protest before a chunk of the sink falls off. You’re there to block him from falling. He pulls out and moves you closer to the other edge, away from the crime scene. You look over your shoulder. Thankfully, he didn’t break off any of the major plumbing parts. Water spraying everywhere would make looking yourself presentable a lot more harder, but maybe that could have been your excuse. Oh well. 

You turn back to Bucky. He’s still holding on to the broken piece of sink. Both of you break out into giggles as he throws it in the trash. 

“I can’t believe you did that.” You’re grinning ear to ear as he tucks himself back into his boxers. 

“I can.” Bucky shrugs. “I don’t think you get how tight you get when you cum. Me breaking things during sex is not new.” 

“My back. Our nice bed frame. The ottoman in the commons… Can’t forget the multiple tables. Shout out to Tony’s dented Acura hood.” You pull Bucky’s shirt to get him closer to you. You kiss him before he speaks. “Are you trying to seduce me?” 

“If you fuck me again, there won’t be a sink left.” 

He hums and rubs your thighs. He’s definitely addicted to the feel of the fishnets stockings. Good luck trying to get his hands off you for the rest of the day. “You have a point.” He drops to his knees. 

“What are you doing?” He’s spreading your thighs wide in front of his face.

“I can’t let my cum drip down your legs out there. That would be irresponsible of me.” That's all the explanation you get before he’s burying his face in between your legs, stubble scratching your inner thighs. You gasp as he licks a stripe from your entrance to your clit. Fuck what he said. You’re the one that’s gonna die. Bucky is truly your horny bastard. 

[nicknellie]

Anonymous requested: Alex gets hurt and ends up breaking his arm, and Willie takes care of him. It really gets Alex down because he can’t drum and feels like he let the band down and he can’t use drumming to help with his anxiety and he feels useless because he can’t do much himself. Willie helps him with stuff he can’t do and tries to help him use other ways to cope with his anxiety. Lots of overprotective and soft caring Willie.

Snap

Alex had known it was a bad idea from the very beginning. Maybe it was the glint in Reggie’s eye, or the mischievous way Luke was biting his lip as he grinned, or the way they introduced the idea with, “You’re probably going to say no,” that had tipped him off. The point was, Alex had known that it was the worst plan his bandmates had ever come up with right from the get-go.

What he didn’t know was why he agreed to go through with it.

“You’re probably going to say no,” Luke had said when he and Reggie had entered the studio that morning. Alex had been trying to set up his drum kit, but looked up as they came in. He was immediately wary of the grin on Luke’s face. “But at least hear us out.”

“I’m worried,” Alex told them, glancing between each of them.

Luke waved a dismissive hand. “You’re always worried. Listen, it’s a great idea, I promise.”

“And,” Reggie added, “we’ve already got everything set up so it’ll be a total bummer if you say no now.”

Alex frowned. “What is it?” he asked warily.

“Just come with us, bro, I swear it’s awesome!”

Luke’s enthusiasm was hard to say no to, so Alex sighed and reluctantly stood to follow them out of the studio. He didn’t like the way his friends kept giggling at each other, then glancing back at him, and giggling even more. He didn’t like how this was a spontaneous adventure that he hadn’t had any time to prepare for. He didn’t like how he had no idea what the boys were planning.

But that didn’t stop him from following them.

They walked for a while, Luke and Reggie a few steps ahead of Alex, muttering conspiratorially between themselves. Eventually, they came to the top of a hill from which Alex could see the beach in one direction and the city in the other. Luke and Reggie stood side by side, then slid apart from each other in a grand reveal, announcing, “Ta-da!”

They moved apart to uncover a shopping trolley. A rusty, grimy shopping trolley that was missing a front wheel and looked as if it wouldn’t even be safe to push around a supermarket - somehow, Alex doubted that was what Luke and Reggie wanted to use it for in any case.

“Where did you get that?” Alex asked, eyeing the trolley.

“Washed up on the beach by my house,” Reggie said excitedly. “Pretty cool, huh?”

“You could say that,” Alex muttered. “You two seriously pushed it all the way up this hill?”

“Yep,” Luke said brightly, popping the ‘p’. “It took, like, three hours because the missing wheel kept making it turn and roll back down. We got it here though!”

He and Reggie high-fived.

“Uh-huh.” Alex had a dreadful sense in his stomach that he knew exactly where this was going. “And, uh... why did you want to show it to me?”

Luke grinned. He pointed to the trolley and said, “You’re gonna get in and we’re going to push you down the hill.”

“No.”

“Oh, come on!” Luke whined. “It’ll be fun!”

“I’m not concerned about it being fun, I’m concerned about it being dangerous!”

Luke scoffed and Reggie made a ‘pfffft’ sound. He slapped the side of the trolley. “This thing is perfectly safe! It’s sturdy - it survived being in the sea, remember?”

“It didn’t survive, it’s missing a wheel, which is the very thing that makes it dangerous,” Alex countered. “I’m not getting in that death-trap.”

“What if either Reggie or I go first?” Luke suggested. “You’ll see it’s safe, we can push it back up the hill, and you can have your turn.”

Alex shook his head. “You just said it took three hours to get this up here, I’m not waiting that long just to meet my certain doom.”

“There’s no doom,” Luke said.

“Alex, please,” Reggie said, breaking out the puppy-dog eyes. Alex felt his defences weaken.

And then Luke had to go and join in. BAM! Double puppy-dog eyes, both of his bandmates silently begging him to do that one simple task that would make them happy.

He sighed begrudgingly. “Fine. But if I die, you need to make sure my drum kit goes to someone who will appreciate it.”

“Gotcha,” Luke said, grinning from ear to ear. He slapped Alex’s shoulder. “Thanks, buddy.”

Against his better judgement and his choice, Alex steeled himself and clambered into the trolley. He felt the metal groan against his body weight, the cold rust digging into his bottom and back. It was probably staining his favourite pink hoodie, he thought with a grimace.

“Did you bring a helmet?” he asked, a nervous hitch in his voice. Now that he was in the trolley the hill looked a whole lot steeper.

Luke and Reggie laughed, readying themselves on either side of the trolley. Reggie said, “No. You won’t need one - we told you, it’s totally safe.”

“Are you ready?” Luke asked.

“Will it even matter if I say no?” Alex deadpanned.

“No. Okay, Reg, let’s do this. Three, two, one, go!”

Luke and Reggie, both clutching the trolley, took a great running start across the hill. As they gained momentum, Alex began feeling less and less steady and secure. He gripped the bars of the trolley for dear life; his eyes were open as they neared the edge, but only because it was an “I don’t want to look but I can’t not look” situation. As they drew ever closer to the drop, Alex felt the need to eject himself from the trolley but couldn’t make himself move.

And all of a sudden he was hurtling down the side of the hill, the trolley swerving unpredictably beneath him, running smoothly for a moment but then shooting off to the left or right with sharp turns that flipped Alex’s stomach. He collided with rocks, roots, and tree stumps that sent him and the trolley flying through the air for just a second before they landed without grace and sped down the hill once more.

Alex saw the main hazard long before he reached it but by that point it was about three minutes too late to do anything about it. As he gathered yet more speed, he found that he was headed directly towards a high barbed-wire fence. His mouth opened to scream but no noise came out.

Alex and the trolley smacked into the fence. In what Alex could only assume had looked like a spectacular acrobatic display, he was launched from the trolley and pinwheeled through the air, arms and legs star-fished around him. He landed in a heap on the other side of the fence, awkwardly jarring his arm on an unfortunately placed rock and then, because luck was not on his side, landed with the rest of his body weight on it.

Snap.

That didn’t sound good.

It didn’t feel good either. Immediately, Alex was aware that he couldn’t feel his right arm - the only sensation was a faint buzzing in it as if he had pins and needles.

He sat himself up, using his other hand for leverage, and looked at his arm. It was... not the shape an arm was supposed to be.

He had known this was a bad idea.

*

Six hours later, most of which had been spent in a hospital with a frantic Luke and an inconsolable Reggie, Alex had made his way to Willie’s place. The two of them were on the couch, Alex laying with his head on Willie’s lap and his face buried in Willie’s t-shirt, Willie gently carding his fingers through Alex’s hair. Alex’s right arm was wrapped in a pink plaster cast and hoisted up against his chest with a sling.

“This sucks,” he mumbled into the fabric of Willie’s shirt for what had to be the twentieth time that day.

Willie sighed. “I know, hotdog. Broken bones are never fun. But it’s only six weeks, right?”

“Six to eight,” Alex groaned. “That’s six to eight weeks where I can do pretty much nothing.”

“Hey,” Willie said gently. “Don’t give up so easily, it’s only been a few hours. I’ve broken a ton of bones skateboarding, and I know a whole bunch of fun things we can do while you’re all bandaged up.”

Alex harrumphed. “I can’t drum. So no band.”

“No playing with the band. That doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with them or go to rehearsals.”

“Great,” Alex said sarcastically. “That’s one really fun and exciting thing I can do - watch my friends have fun without me.”

“Stop it,” Willie said, voice a little firmer. Alex stopped. “They won’t be having fun without you because you’ll be there. A broken arm doesn’t stop you being their friend.”

Alex muttered to himself, “It’s stops me being useful.”

“What did you say?” Willie prompted.

Alex sighed haggardly and sat up, shuffling around to face Willie. “I said it stops me being useful. To them, to the band. I’ve let them down! We had three gigs lined up next week and now we don’t have a drummer so those will all be off. And what really sucks is that all of those gigs had managers and record execs coming to watch them, now they’re not going to see us. It’s my fault!”

Willie took his hand, the one that wasn’t strapped up to his chest with the sling. Alex felt him thread their fingers together and told himself to breathe. Breathe and look into Willie’s eyes. Calm.

“It’s not your fault, Alex,” Willie said, and as always whatever he said immediately made sense in Alex’s mind. Of course it wasn’t his fault - why would it be? “It’s nobody’s fault. The guys pressured you into getting in, you did, Julie wasn’t there to tell you all how stupid you were being, and I wasn’t there to at least offer you my helmet. We’re all a little to blame, but it’s not anybody’s fault, least of all yours.”

“I’m still letting them down,” Alex said quietly, struggling to maintain eye contact.

Willie shook his head. “You know that isn’t true. You’re Julie and the Phantoms - none of you have the ability to be disappointed in each other or let each other down. You’re like one person; if one of you is down, you all are.”

Alex was unconvinced, and it must have shown on his face because Willie sighed and continued.

“Remember last year when Reggie tried to fix his amp in the rain, got electrocuted, and then couldn’t play that school dance? So instead of getting mad at him you all took turns staying by his bedside, fetching him whatever he needed, keeping an eye on him, even helping him to the toilet and stuff like that?”

Alex rolled his eyes. “That was different. He could have died.”

“You could have died today,” Willie pointed out. Alex shuddered at the thought. “But okay. What about when Julie had a throat infection? You all started learning sign language to try and communicate with her. Sure, you all remembered that she could still hear you and that she could just write down what she wanted to say, but you were willing to learn a new language for her.”

“That’s still different!” Alex protested. He tried to throw his arms up in the air in frustration, but one was tied to his chest, so his left arm just flopped pathetically by itself.

“Why?”

“Because it’s Julie. We’d do anything for her.”

Willie fixed him with a glare full of love, unnerving and endearing at the same time.

“And they would all do anything for you too,” he said. “You know that. Tell me you know that, Alex.”

Alex swallowed thickly. “I know that,” he admitted quietly.

“And I would too,” Willie added, still gazing at Alex. “We’ve got this, hotdog.”

Finally, Alex felt the barest beginnings of a smile creeping onto his face. He squeezed Willie’s hand.

“We’ve got this.”

*

It was all well and good saying “we’ve got this” but the actual “getting this” part was easier said than done. It hadn’t been a day and Alex had already caved.

It had started that morning. He had woken up and been hyper aware of the cast on his arm. He could feel it like a hand clasped around his forearm, a sensation that couldn’t be shaken off or rubbed away. It had made his head tingle and he couldn’t seem to focus on much of anything.

When he’d gone downstairs, his father had tried to clap him genially on the shoulder, but being touched had felt like being suffocated. Alex hadn’t said anything, just tried to shrink away.

Then, inevitably and despite the nice greeting he had attempted to give, his father had launched into a spiel about why it was so awful that Alex had chosen to have a pink cast. It had sent his mind reeling, made his legs numb, and started his eyes watering.

So he had been feeling stressed. He had needed to get out of the house so he had gone on a walk - the nice breeze and the warm summer sun had been helpful, but there were so many noises outside. Birds chirped, bees buzzed, car horns honked, people laughed, footsteps echoed, leaves crunched, wind whistled, dogs barked, and every other noise the outside world created seemed stuck on an endless, repetitive, painful loop that attacked Alex’s ears and brain.

He could feel his anxiety beginning to spike. If one more thing touched him (in the metaphorical or literal sense) he was sure he would break.

He got a text from Willie: Going to be late but will bring a fun surprise!

Snap.

The floodgates opened and Alex began to cry. All he wanted was for things to be normal - he wanted his arm out of the cast, he wanted to drum with his band, and he wanted to see his boyfriend right now like they had planned.

So he did something stupid. He went to the Molinas’ house, let himself into the studio as he and the other boys regularly did, sat himself down beside his drum kit, slipped his cast-covered arm from the sling and began to drum.

It wasn’t the easy release it always was. It just hurt even more. Alex should have expected it; using a broken arm to whack a drum didn’t sound fun when put bluntly. But usually drumming helped so much, usually it made the tight feeling in Alex’s mind loosen. Not today.

Still, he kept drumming, because now it almost felt like he couldn’t stop.

It hurt.

He didn’t know how long he’d been there when the doors to the studio opened and Julie popped her head in. “Alex?”

Finally he let his arms fall to his sides, knackered and aching. His right arm was throbbing and there were tears running down his cheeks.

“Hey,” Julie said gently, hurrying towards him. She held her hand out, an offering for him to take it, but Alex shook his head and she withdrew it.

“Alex,” she continued. “I need you to put your broken arm back in the sling. Here, give me your drumsticks.”

He did as she said, grateful for order and instruction. He handed her his sticks, then winced as he manoeuvred his arm back into its sling.

“Is there anything you want me to do?” Julie asked softly.

Alex shrugged. How was he supposed to know?

Julie made the decision for him. “I’ll see if I can get hold of Willie.”

As she left the studio, Alex couldn’t help but laugh. Of course that would help and of course Julie knew that.

It wasn’t five minutes before Willie pushed the doors to the studio open and skated inside in one smooth move that Alex might have found impressive another time. He propped his board up against the wall and headed straight in Alex’s direction, crouching down beside him.

Alex fumbled to take Willie’s hand.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner,” Willie said quietly. “Julie said you were drumming?”

Alex nodded.

Willie huffed an affectionate laugh. “That was a dumb thing to do.”

Alex felt a smile tug at his lips. “I know,” he croaked. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” Willie said soothingly. “I know how hard this is for your. But, when your anxiety spikes we’re going to have to find other things to do in the meantime. Drumming isn’t going to do you any good.”

Alex nodded again. “I know. It hurt.”

“Do you want to head up to the hospital?” Willie asked, gently touching Alex’s broken arm where it was safely in its sling. He was probably imagining it, but Alex could have sworn that the pain went away when Willie touched it. “Make sure you’ve not done any more damage?”

“I think it’s fine,” Alex told him. Willie looked up at him, disbelieving. “I didn’t go hard, I’m not that stupid.”

“Okay then. I believe you. I’ve got something planned, but is there anything you want to do first? Or do you still need a little time to calm down?”

Alex squeezed his hand. “Can we just... I don’t know. Can you just sit with me for a while?”

Willie smiled and Alex felt his heart burst. “Of course, hotdog. Whatever you need.”

They moved to the couch and cuddled up together. Willie positioned himself so that he could easily press gentle kisses to Alex’s forehead - Alex didn’t know whether Willie had done that for his own enjoyment or for Alex’s, but he didn’t mind either way. Just having Willie there, holding him, supporting him, made him feel a whole lot better than he had before.

*

Alex hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but he found himself yawning as he woke up. He tried to stretch his arms, then remembered one of them was bound to his chest, and awkwardly let the one arm that had moved fall to his side. He heard Willie giggle and turned to face him where he was cuddled practically beneath Alex.

“Tired, sleeping beauty?” Willie teased, brushing hair out of Alex’s face.

Alex felt his face flush. “I’m not sleeping beauty,” he said. “I’m not any princess.”

“You got that right,” Willie said, pointing to a wet patch on his own shirt. “Princesses don’t drool on their boyfriend’s shirts.”

Alex rolled his eyes and laughed a little, pushing himself into a sitting position. Willie sat up too, and pressed a quick kiss to Alex’s cheek.

“Right,” Willie said, pulling Alex to his feet. “Ready to do what I had planned?”

“Okay,” Alex said, grinning.

Willie tugged on his arm and led him out of the studio. They walked together for a while, Willie talking his ear off about this and that and everything in between. Alex was grateful for Willie all the time, but especially in times like this - times when Alex was struggling for words and wasn’t feeling quite up to talking at all, and Willie would simply know when he felt like that and do all the talking for him.

Eventually, Willie came to a stop so sudden that Alex walked straight into him. Willie laughed and clutched Alex’s hand, pointing to the building they’d stopped outside.

It was a museum, one that Willie had taken Alex to many a time before. Alex knew how much Willie loved this place - the way his face lit up when he talked about all the different exhibits was endearing and downright beautiful. Alex didn’t ‘get’ art himself, but he would never pass up an opportunity to visit the gallery with Willie.

“What are we doing here?” he asked.

Willie shrugged. “I was brainstorming ways to help you combat your anxiety while drumming isn’t an option, and I remembered that they just opened a new temporary feature here. It’s all about noise being its own form of art and they’ve added an area where you can make your own.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Your own noise or art?”

“The point is that it’s both,” Willie explained, leading him inside. “And I think the way they’ve designed it could be a very effective stress-reliever. Come on.”

Willie led him through all the exhibits, wending his way through the bustling crowds with ease. He didn’t stop to talk about all the paintings and sculptures like he usually would, so Alex’s curiosity was piqued.

Willie pulled him into a room. Which was really all it was - just a room. It was relatively large with a plain white ceiling, floor, and walls (except for one which was entirely glass and showed the bright spring sunshine outside). Alex looked around for some instruction of what to do; Willie had said the exhibit was all about noise, but there was literally nothing in the room that could be used to make a sound.

“So... what do we do?” Alex asked.

Willie grinned. “You make your own noise.”

And then he screamed.

It was a long, loud, sustained note and when Willie finally finished he was grinning from ear to ear, looking absolutely exhilarated. Alex (impressed that Willie had held the note so long and now weirdly curious about his lung capacity) stared at him, dumb-founded.

“This is really what we’re supposed to do?” he asked sceptically.

Willie nodded vigorously. “Yeah, man, and it’s awesome! You just... let go! Shout all your worries away. Now you try!”

Alex nervously let out a weak little, “Ahhhhh.”

Willie laughed loudly and took hold of Alex’s shoulders. “Come on, bro, you’ve got to put some effort in. Come on, like this, ready?”

He screamed again.

Alex screamed back.

And for god knows how long, the two of them stayed together, screaming into each other’s faces, competing to see who could scream longest and loudest, and Alex hardly noticed that his worries were dissipating as he let himself be confident and have fun with Willie. The minutes ticked by into hours and they only stopped screaming when they were totally out of breath.

Willie blew his hair out of his face, eyes shining hopefully. “Feels good, right?”

“Yeah,” Alex replied, pulling him into an awkward one-armed hug. “It does.”

*

Alex spent the night at Willie’s, not feeling up to going home. When they woke up to Alex’s alarm the next morning, Alex felt Willie shuffle into his side, head on Alex’s shoulder, clearly not wanting to get up.

“It’s, like, five o’clock in the morning,” Willie grumbled, throwing an arm across Alex’s midriff. “I want to stay in bed.”

“We’ve hit snooze a dozen times and it’s nearly eleven a.m.,” Alex returned, smiling fondly. “I’m very sorry but it’s time to get up.”

Willie sighed and rolled himself out of bed, grumbling about Alex interrupting his dream. Alex just laughed and sat up too, automatically looking for his own wardrobe and then remembering he was at Willie’s and had nothing to wear.

“I should have headed home and grabbed some clean clothes,” he thought out loud. A moment later he was struck in the back of the head by one of Willie’s t-shirts and a pair of trousers.

“Put those on,” Willie said as he pulled on a tricolour jumper. “I’m pretty sure they’ll fit.”

Alex picked up the clothes (a tie-dye crop-top and a pair of acid wash ripped jeans) and began his attempt at getting dressed. There were many things Alex had found that were hard to do one-armed, but putting clothes on was the biggest challenge, bordering on impossible. How was he supposed to get his arm through the hole if he wasn’t supposed to use his arm?

He heard Willie giggle somewhere in front of him and was glad that the shirt jammed over his head covered up his blush.

“Need any help, hotdog?” Willie teased.

“No, no, I’ve got this,” Alex lied. He shimmied a little, trying to get the shirt to fall down over his face.

There was another quiet little chuckle, and a moment later Alex felt Willie’s cold hands on his skin as he gently maneuvered Alex’s arms and head to go through the right holes. When the shirt finally was on properly and Alex’s eyes were uncovered again, he was greeted with the lovely sight of Willie smiling down at him affectionately, eyes bright and smile wide.

Willie finished helping Alex dress, ignoring Alex’s insistence that he really could do it by himself (”I think you’ve just proved that you can’t, hotdog.”) and the two of them left the house. Willie told Alex that he had planned another something to take Alex’s mind off the cast, this time down at the beach; Alex had no idea what it could be, but didn’t find himself stressing out at the thought of not knowing.

It was strange, but it made sense. After all, having Willie there to help him over the past few days had made Alex’s life a whole lot easier. Having Willie in his life at all made it that much more enjoyable. With Willie, Alex felt safe and able to trust himself and his boyfriend. He felt free, even though he was trapped by the cast.

He was certain that whatever Willie had thought up would help him get through the pain and the anxiety, and he couldn’t wait.

[random-fangirl003]

WHEELY RACES - Humans are Weird

(NOT MY GIF)

You must take special care to make sure your humans are not bored, when not on duty. They will find someway to entertain themselves, and it is not always a good way. The Xiran Captain discovers this first hand, when the entirety of the ship's desk chairs go missing, along with a whole requisition of tape- such a handy thing that the humans have invented. Next the captain notices a distinct lack of shiny gold and silver objects, and any blue, red, or green materials around the ship, though they aren't quite sure why. Perhaps the human is fixing something, that requires these objects? Or building something again?

The Xirans start to come to them with mentions of their group of humans excluding them from something, drawing away from the crew, and that almost sends them into a tizzy. Their wings buzz at the speed they are flicking, anger and worry boiling within them. It can only be an uprising, they are going to mutany, and take over the ship, perhaps kill the Xirans. After all of their time together, their missions, learning so much about each other's cultures- Human John had even entered a relationship with one of the Xirans, and now he would betray them?

The Xirans are on edge, waiting for the mutany, the rebellion, the betrayal for days on end. Nothing more disappears to the Captain's notice, though they are aware of the human keeping to their own group in their species. Humans are strong, indestructible, the Captain knows that they would not win a battle on their ship, the humans- though a small group- would easily overpower them in a matter of minutes, and there is nothing they could do about it. It is like the first few months on the ship all over again, the humans sticking together, while the Xirans watch in fear and skepticism.

The day finally comes when something changes, during this time the Captain had requested a mission, perhaps landing on a hostile planet where they must work together again, will make the humans realize their error. Perhaps it will help them tell the Xirans what they have done to offend them. Perhaps they would change their minds, and not mutany. Human Felicity seems to been in charge, despite her lower rank and age to the others, having been the one that the Captain overhears telling the other humans that their plan was to be out into action before the mission started. The Xirans that learned of this became nervous, their crests of their heads fluttering up and down as they wander the ship, nervous for when the humans and their obviously makeshift weapons will appear.

The Captain nearly faints at the sound of the scream that comes from the hall, their seven legs scrambling a ross the metal floors as quickly as possible to reach a hall, only for something to zoom past it, nearly missing them. The sound of another scream has the Captain flattening itself down against the warm floor, something flying over them with a sharp speed, and then the Xiran recognizes something- a sound they covered in human train at basic, something that humans make when they are extremely happy sometimes- laughter. The humans are laughing.

Some of his fellow Xirans join him as the sound of laughter and cheering comes from around a large bend in the ship, and what they see there surprises them all. All of the office chairs are housing humans, who are on their knees on them, and they are all racing down the hall to their glee and delight. The captain sees the lines of tape down the walkway, a few inches from the walls, and another strip of tape has spread from one wall to another down at the very end. "They are "racing" I believe John called it." The Xiran that Human John is in a relationship informs the captain. "Human Felicity came up with it, when the humans were all bored." Human Kaid is the first to touch the tape at the very end, their eyes bright as Human Felicity steps up to drape a small token around his neck. The token is a mesh of gold items that have gone missing on the ship, and a green band is tied around Human Kaid's forehead. Human John has a red band around his forehead, while Human Felicity places the made of a mesh of missing silver items around his neck. He notices that Human Felicity is wearing a blue band, but around her wrists, perhaps to mark a different position than the other humans?

"Zigan!" Human Felicity calls as she waves them over, the familiarity of their name makes them happy, only the Humans don't call them Captain, just his name. Walking over skeptically, as if expecting a trap, the smaller human woman spreads her lips, pulling them back over the outcropping of her bones, a "grin" is directed at them. "Zigan, would you like to race next round?"

"Race?" Zigan asks.

"Yes, we sit on the chairs, and the first one through this tape," She points to the tape that human John and Human Kaid are putting up. "wins a shiny token." She points to the tokens around the other humans' necks. "It is fun."

"Fun? Fun? So, you being sneaky cause you wanted to do this?" Zigan blinks their beady orange eyes at this human.

"We wanted to surprise everyone, but we have a mission soon, so we put it together today. That was a test run." She holds up her strange pale limbs. "I am the judge, I wear these." The blue on her wrist makes sense to him now. "Racers wear these," She points to the bands that humans John and Kaid have on. "I made them, made some for Xirans too." She says.

"Fun?" Zigan asks once more as she nods. So, they weren't about to rebel, or kill the Xirans, they were planning a game for them all! Zigan's crest gives a large heave, equivalent to a human's large sigh, and she smiles once more at the Captain.

"Race?" She asks hopeful.

"Show one more time, then race?" Zigan asks carefully, and she nods, the sharp jerk of her neck startles them, never getting used to how much the humans can move as Humans John and Kaid push the office chairs away from the starting line, and Zigan moves to stand and watch the two of them race on the chairs down the hall towards them again. Zigan joins them next, then more Xirans, and more, until the entire crew is racing and having 'fun', the mission and worries quickly forgotten as the humans laugh, and the Xirans chitter in happiness.

So, don't leave your humans bored. Make sure they are properly entertained, or they will take matters into their own hands. And bring everyone else with them.

Zigan closes the document of what happened, chittering at the memory as it is sent off to HQ. The final sentence in the report reads:

Still don't know enough about the humans, will continue to study and be friends. - Zigan.

[xlostinobsessionsx]

Everything has changed | Charlie Gillespie

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x female Reader

Word Count: 2,854

Warnings: None, just tooth-rotting fluff

Hello, lovely fantoms! 👻💞

I’ve written my first Charlie Gillespie imagine ever. It’s been a while since I’ve last written anything. Furthermore I’ve never written anything in English because it’s not my native language.

A really really big thank you goes to @bass-ic-deaky 💕

Thank you for going out of your way to not only correct my syntax and grammar but also to even writing an entire part of it and making it way more emotional! (A/N: She refined the airport scene and now it makes me cry!) 💗

I hope you enjoy it!

(It’s based on the song Everything has changed by Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran)

Masterlist

The first season of Julie and the Phantoms had been a huge success. It wasn’t long after for the second season to be announced. Kenny Ortega wanted to support even more young talent this time and had decided to give young songwriters a chance to write a song for the show. When (Y/N) had learned about this, she quickly had sent drafts of some of her songs to the executives in charge. (Y/N) couldn't believe it when she was invited a few weeks later to go to Vancouver to become part of the show. (Y/N) was not only allowed to attend the vocal coaching and the recordings of the songs, but also to be present during the shooting of the scenes for which she had written the song. The song was used for one of the performances of the band Julie and the Phantoms so (Y/N) hung around a lot with Madison and the boys. They all got on very well and (Y/N) liked each of them a lot. However she had to admit to herself that she had a crush on the canadian. Just a little one. Alright, maybe a big one, but she would never admit it.

(Y/N) always brought her guitar to set, so that she could play a bit in between takes. She was sitting apart from the actors, who were eating lunch, not feeling that hungry today. Not playing too loud to prevent her from disturbing anyone, (Y/N) lightly strummed her guitar strings before softly, she began to sing. 

All I knew this morning when I woke

Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before

This was how (Y/N) had felt the first morning on set. She had been so nervous that she had been trembling slightly. What if the cast didn’t like her song? Even if she had been afraid, she knew that this was a unique chance. It had been a step out of her comfort zone and she had been aware that a lot of new things would be coming her way. 

And all I've seen since 18 hours ago

Is green eyes and freckles

And your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like

The first time her eyes had met the ones of the young actor (Y/N) couldn’t stop thinking about him. From day one Charlie had been incredulously nice to her, trying to make her feel comfortable on set. He had made sure to let her know how much he liked the song she had written for the show. At the end of the first day she had gone home with a big smile on her face, thought of Charlie clouding her mind. 

I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now

(Y/N) had wanted to know more about him. And with every new bit of information she got from him about himself, her interest only grew and her heart beat faster and faster. 

Suddenly, someone sat down next to her. She looked up, slightly startled. Charlie chuckled “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. That sounded really good.” He complimented her with a wide smile. (Y/N) felt her cheeks turning crimson. “Is it yours? That song I mean.” He asked curiously. 

(Y/N) nodded, hoping that Charlie hadn’t heard much of the lyrics. “Yeah, but it’s not finished yet. I can't seem to get any further from there.” She sighed. 

“I could help you!” The young actor offered joyfully, as he quickly took the last bite of his pizza before wiping his hands as he turned to her. 

“Uhm, you don’t have to.” (Y/N) nervously answered, feeling her face heat up further. She knew her feelings were unreciprocated and working with him on a song would only make things worse. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Charlie smiled brightly at her. 

She paused, taking in his bright smile and the sincerity within his eyes. “Okay, fine.” (Y/N) gave in. 

“Play the beginning again.” Charlie requested. (Y/N) took a deep breath, hoping the actor also won’t notice that it was about him. She started to play the song from the beginning and slowed to a stop at the same spot she did before. Charlie looked thoughtfully at her. “Hmmm, okay. So if I got this right, it’s a love song, right?” He asked her. (Y/N) nodded shyly. “Well, if you tell a story about two people meeting for the first time, why not go on from there? May I?” He pointed at the guitar. (Y/N) gave it to him relieved he didn’t catch up on her feelings for him yet. Slowly the actor started to play a few chords until he settled for a melody fitting the one she had played before.

Cause all I know is we said hello

His eyes met hers, a big smile forming on his lips.

And your eyes look like coming home

All I know is a simple name

He slowly came to a stop, unable to think of the next line. (Y/N) hoped he would just never stop singing to her. “What do you think of that?” Charlie interrupted her thoughts. 

(Y/N) cleared her throat, shaking out her thoughts. “It sounds really good.” She complimented with a smile. “Could you maybe start again and this time end with G?” She asked him. Charlie nodded and started to play and sing the same part again he had just made up.

'Cause all I know is we said hello

And your eyes look like coming home

All I know is a simple name

Everything has changed

(Y/N) sang when Charlie played the G-chord. He looked up at her surprised. “Wow, this is amazing! The line is so fitting! Everything has changed, (Y/N) you’re a genius!” He exclaimed with a grin that stretched from ear to ear. 

(Y/N) giggled, happy that Charlie liked it. “Thanks, Charlie.” She smiled brightly at him. With a nod Charlie started to play again. 

All I know was you held the door

(Y/N) suggested, still remembering when Charlie had held the big doors that led inside the massive building with all the sets inside open for her. Charlie nodded encouraging her to continue but the words that almost left her lips next were too much. Instead Charlie continued, eyes never leaving hers. 

And you'll be mine and I'll be yours

All I know since yesterday

Is everything has changed

He finished the chorus. Shocked, (Y/N) looked at him with big eyes. It was like Charlie had read her thoughts. But he couldn’t have. He was just trying to write a love song. He couldn’t feel the same about her! They just stared into each other’s eyes. A soft smile was forming on Charlie’s lips, so contagious that when it made any panic she felt go away, she had to smile herself. They were really having a moment, but all moments must come to an end. “We need you two on set again.” Kenny informed them from across the room. Charlie nodded at Kenny and rose from his spot next to her. The actor held out his hand for her. “You good to go?” He asked her. (Y/N) nodded and took his hand following him into the halls where they were filming the next scene.

Soon, it was (Y/N)’s last day on set. The scene in which her song was sung had been recorded. She said her goodbyes to everyone, one by one. “We have something for you!” Madison smiled at her. “So that you won’t forget us.” She gave (Y/N) a small box. Carefully, (Y/N) opened it. Inside was a necklace with a small pendant, which looked like a dahlia. 

Tears were forming in (Y/N)’s eyes as she looked up at the cast, all grinning widely at her. “Thank you all so much for everything!” She hugged each of them goodbye. Charlie had insisted on taking her to the airport. They slowly walked through the halls, taking their time, wanting to spend every moment they had left with each other. Slowly, (Y/N) turned to face him when they arrived at security, as far as Charlie could go with her. A small sad smile was visible on his lips. “I’m gonna miss you.” (Y/N) admitted shyly. 

Immediately she was pulled into a tight hug. “I’m gonna miss you more.” Charlie mumbled quietly into the crook of her neck. Slowly they pulled back from the hug, Charlie’s hands were still firmly situated around her waist, sending an electric jolt through her body. They looked deeply into each other’s eyes, each sparkling with a certain emotion neither could place. (Y/N) felt her heart pounding wildly as she saw his eyes flick downward. Did she just witness his gaze wander to her lips? No, that must’ve been her imagination. There was no way he liked her like that, but even still there was no denying the chemistry between them, the magnetism that pulled them toward one another. He was all she could see. (Y/N) could’ve stayed there forever with Charlie. Even as people hustled about the pair, all shouting, all rushing to catch their planes, it felt as though they were the only two people in the world. It was just them in their moment of pure bliss. All that mattered in this moment was Charlie, and him alone. She felt her heart speed up as she subconsciously found herself, just as Charlie had, leaning in closer to the actor. They were well and truly going to share a moment. But all moments must come to an end. “Flight AA73 will be boarding at gate 77 in forty-five minutes.” A voice came over the loudspeaker announcing details of her flight, effectively breaking their bubble of bliss.

“Your flight is going to depart soon, too.” He sighed, offering her a crooked smile. She nodded, a pang of sadness radiating through her chest. Slowly and reluctantly, he let her go, hands lingering on her for as long as physically possible, so she could go through security. As she neared the metal detectors (Y/N) turned around one last time to see the brunette still standing there. Her (e/c) gaze caught his. He offered her one last grin, sadness barely evident on his face as he waved. She returned the smile, returning a small wave before she disappeared from his sight. During her flight, (Y/N) tried to keep her mind busy, trying with great effort to not think about Charlie. Reading a book, watching a movie, listening to music, none of it helped. Her thoughts always returned to the brunette actor and that sweetly goofy grin of his. Every time she closed her eyes he was there, preventing her from falling asleep. 

Once (Y/N) got home, she put her suitcases in a corner before flopping down on her bed. Tiredly, she looked at her phone, which showed that she had received several messages. “Hope your flight was good and that you arrived home safely. Can’t wait to see you again!” Madi had sent her. Owen and Jeremy also had sent her messages, but one particular  message caught her eyes. 

Come back and tell me why

I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time

Her heart was pounding so quickly, it felt as though it would jump out of her chest at any moment. Did Charlie maybe feel the same way? It was hopeless even if he did, she would probably never see him again. Only if she visited him or the other way around. Such a meeting would come about in a few weeks. Until then, (Y/N) could only dream of at that moment. 

Once they finished the filming of season two, Charlie was back in Los Angeles. He immediately called her. “Hey, how have you been?” He asked her excitedly. 

“Good so far. Missing the time on set though.” She replied, glad to hear his voice again. 

“We missed you, too!” He told her, a smile tugging on his lips. “I missed you.” He added quickly after. “I actually missed you so much that I might’ve bought a ticket for you to come visit me in LA, you know, because you said you’ve never been.”

“You did what?” She asked in disbelief. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna send it to you. And...now it should be in your e-mail.” She could hear his smile through the phone. (Y/N) opened up her mailbox and sure enough, there was a message from Charlie. 

“You’re crazy!” She exclaimed. 

The boy on the other end of the line laughed. “See you in three days!” 

Los Angeles was great but spending time with Charlie was even better. (Y/N) had planned to stay at least a week so they had enough time together. Charlie first had shown her around his neighbourhood, taking her around all his old haunts. They had been to the beach together and had eaten at all of his favourite restaurants and cafes. But what she adored most about her trip was doing ordinary, usually mundane tasks together like cooking or watching a movie in the evening or even just jamming out a bit. Sometimes (Y/N) thought that this was how it would be to be in a relationship with him. “I’m going to run to the grocery store real quick.” He informed her one evening. (Y/N) was sitting on his couch scrolling through Netflix, trying to find a movie they could watch later. She nodded. “Do you need anything?” He asked her. (Y/N) shook her head. “Okay, I’m gonna hurry. Don’t do something stupid while I’m gone!” 

(Y/N) giggled softly. “Shouldn’t I saying that to you? You’re the chaotic one.” 

Charlie laughed. “Yeah yeah, I know. Be back soon.” He said while closing the door. (Y/N) huffed, not able to find a film they could watch. She decided to wait for Charlie to come back so that they could choose one together. She reached for her guitar she specifically brought to play together with Charlie. Softly she began to sing.

'Cause all I know is we said hello

And your eyes look like coming home

All I know is a simple name

Everything has changed

All I know was you held the door

And you'll be mine and I'll be yours

All I know since yesterday

Is everything has changed

Come back and tell me why

I’m feeling like I’ve missed you all this time

And meet me there tonight

Let me know that it’s not all in my mind 

When Charlie had sent her the message she couldn’t get it out of her head for days so she decided to include it in the song. (Y/N) was so engrossed that she hadn't heard the front door open. Charlie was already back and standing behind her. “Did you finish the song? I thought we wanted to finish it together! And was that the message I sent you when you went back home?” He rambled with a furrowed brow. 

(Y/N) turned to look at him with wide eyes, her cheeks taking a faint shade of red. “Charlie I - “ She began. 

The actor took a seat next to her. “Why did you put it in the song? I mean it fits the entire love story thing because it sounds like a confession but…” He trailed off as he realised what he had said, his eyes grew wide. He had the feeling that he might have just admitted how he felt towards her. His cheeks turned crimson. 

“Wait….are you - “ (Y/N) cleared her throat, which suddenly felt quite dry. “Are you saying you like me?” She asked, the hope inside of her started to grow. Maybe he did feel the same way after all. 

“No! Charlie quickly exclaimed. Suddenly (Y/N)’s eyes grew sad. “I mean...maybe…” The actor quickly back peddled. “What if I am?” He nervously rubbed his neck. 

“Well, uhm…” (Y/N) nervously fumbled with her hair “If you are then I would too…maybe… even though I don’t really have to because the entire song is one, I guess.” She shyly shrugged. 

Charlie`s eyes grew wide “Wait...are you saying the song is about me? About us?” A big smile formed on his lips. (Y/N) nodded slowly making Charlie sighed, absolutely relieved. “May I?” He pointed to the guitar. She nodded handing it to him. He took it from her and placed it on the ground. (Y/N) looked confused at him. “It would have been in the way.” Charlie explained quietly as he gently grabbed her face, pulled her close to meet him in a soft, tender kiss. 

Slowly they detached from one another, each smiling brighter than the other. (Y/N) chuckled “I can’t believe you feel the same!”. 

“Well, I thought I let you know that it’s not all in your mind.” He quoted her. 

(Y/N) laughed. “What do you think?” Charlie picked up her guitar and gave it to her. 

He reached behind him where his guitar lay and placed it in his hands. “Should we play the song again? Together?” (Y/N) nodded joyfully. She took a deep breath, still trying to register what just had happened. Charlie smiled softly at her “You good to go?”

[weirdlittlecorner]

Lin Kuei Hospitality: Cyrax

Notes: nsfw, 18+, comfort

Plot: A little slower, a little more sensual. Because Cyrax is a great character and deserves more attention and love

h/t = hair texture

Tags: @lilliannmac @onesillybeach @icy-spicy

—

The five men stood patiently as they awaited your decision. There was no doubt that any of them would show you a good time, which only made it harder to choose. You pursed your lips as you considered your options. Eventually, your attention shifted to the man in yellow. His dark skin and beautiful hair made him stand out as the most handsome of the men. But funnily enough, it wasn’t just his looks that drew your eyes to him. His demeanor was much different than the others. While he was standing at attention, as disciplined as the rest, there was a small crack in his stone exterior. As if he were in pain, though there was obviously nothing hurting him. That you could see, anyway.

It was almost as if he couldn’t stand being in the others’ vicinity. You wondered what could have happened to warrant such a reaction. This was the first time that you had ever seen any of the warriors up close, so you had nothing to go off of. It was most likely just some petty drama that was common amongst roommates- if they could even be considered as such. It would make the most sense. You, too, had your friends that you loved dearly, but you couldn’t imagine actually living with them every day. Either way, it wasn’t your place to pry.

The Grandmaster cleared his throat impatiently, motioning toward the line of men once more. Clearly wanting you to hasten and pick one so the rest could return to their business. Offering the dark-skinned man a warm smile, you nodded, “Come on, let’s get out of here,”

—

“Thank you for my new buzzsaw. I was able to try it out today; your work is very impressive,” The man, Cyrax, whispered as the two of you made your way through the long corridor to get back to your room. You smiled at the compliment, though that nagging confusion didn’t allow you to fully enjoy his words. His new buzzsaw. The one that had been amongst the new additions to the Grandmaster’s standard request.

What exactly did a clan like the Lin Kuei need all this new technology for? Again, it really wasn’t your business what your clients did with your products. But you couldn’t help but wonder... Whatever was going on, you just hoped that it was at least somewhat ethical.

__

The impending ‘improvements’ were a sensitive subject amongst the warriors. Cyrax had taken the most offense to the idea, as any normal person would, yet his fellow assassins thought that he was the crazy one. No, what was crazy was forcing one to give up their free will in exchange for the efficiency of automation. But he didn’t dare challenge the Grandmaster. Doing so would result in the most severe punishment; as if becoming a fusion of flesh and metal wasn’t already punishment enough.

“Hey, I noticed that you kind of… seem at odds with the others. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I just thought I’d ask if you wanted to talk about it,” You broke the silence, sinking down onto the bed and patting the space next to you. He claimed the empty space, sitting close enough so that your knees touched.

By the way his brows knitted together, you half-expected him to tell you. But he merely shook his head after a moment, “I am not at liberty to speak on the matter. But thank you for your concern,” His voice was even and had that same cold quality that was the standard, but you could tell that there was great sadness behind his words.

Instinctively, you opened your arms out to him, willing him to position himself in between them. You weren’t really sure what you had expected to happen, but soon enough, Cyrax was locked in your warm embrace. You gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. The two of you stayed like that for a few moments, basking in the silent comfort of each other’s embrace. But soon you felt his shoulders stiffen, along with a kiss being pressed to the base of your neck.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” While you had been excited for tonight’s proposed activities, now was obviously not a great time. You wouldn’t ask him to perform for you just because it was what the Grandmaster had ordered. He needed, deserved, a break. And while you would certainly enjoy the contact, you refused to degrade the man. But he clearly didn’t think the same way. Not when his face was still buried in the crook of your neck.

“I understand that. This is something I want to do,” His words made you shiver as renewed excitement tore through your abdomen. Well, in that case…

A rough hand quickly found its way into your h/t, h/c locks, effectively undoing the delicate hairstyle. A pleasured shiver wracked your body as he used your hair to bring you closer to him as you two shared your first kiss of the night. You hummed as the tip of your tongue darted out to drag itself across his bottom lip, granting you an elicit moan in return.

Without breaking the intense oral lock, Cyrax’ hands freed themselves from the mess of hair in favor of untying the knots in your overshirt. You moved your dominant hand to assist him in the process while your other hand remained cupping his face. Shrugging to remove the fabric from your shoulders, you reluctantly pulled away to unclasp your bra. Seeing that you had things under control, Cyrax removed himself to focus on shedding his own clothing. But not before giving a hard, playful tug on the hems of your pants, effectively pooling them around your ankles.

A giggle slipped past your parted lips as you bent down, yanking your pants, along with your panties, off the rest of the way and kicking off your boots. You repositioned yourself so that your knees pressed against the soft sheets as you returned the favor to your partner. Eager fingertips clawed at the form-fitting armor, as if that would make it disappear faster. Cyrax hummed in amusement at your eagerness before unbuttoning the clasps and untying the knots for you. Impatience turned into wonder as your hands brushed over his chest. His abs. His shoulders. All of which were hard bands of muscle, but also soft in a way. Even his body reflected the gentle demeanor that had separated him from the others. The two of you were content to sit just like this, fingers exploring each other’s bodies.

You embraced each other, much like how you had done previously. Though this time, the intention was very different. The warmth radiating off of the two of you was almost unbearable, but you ignored it as you took to kissing each one of his prominent muscles. He sighed softly, enjoying your impromptu muscle worship. This continued until the pooling heat in your respective pelvises won out and you just had to go further. Cyrax shifted so that his legs boxed in your hips. Pressing himself against you once more, he brought his lips down to your manubrium to plant soft kisses in the crevice of your breasts. Meanwhile, his right hand was making quick work of his pants and boxers, his hard length pressing against your inner thigh. Which, if you might add, was already slick with your dripping arousal.

There was obviously no need to pregame, as you were both more than ready. You didn’t think that you could tolerate more teasing, anyway. Impatient once again, you wrapped your hand around the head of his penis to guide him in. The man groaned as your walls began compressing his cock immediately. With a few more pushes, he was completely in, reveling in the feeling of being consumed by your flesh.

Sighing, your arms found their way around his broad shoulders as he began thrusting into your tight core. The sounds of your mutual pleasure were only slightly louder than the creaking sounds the bedposts made as they scratched the wall behind them. Your e/c eyes closed in bliss as you enjoyed the rocking sensation of intercourse. His lips found yours once more as his speed increased and his hands made their way to your s/c legs. In a fluid motion, your ankles were craned toward the headboard as he pushed himself deeper. The sensation of your cervix being stroked caused you to scream, and you were glad that no one could hear you. You hoped not, anyway. What were once your gentle fingertips rubbing your lover’s back turned into talons that began clawing at the tingling flesh.

If it had hurt, he didn’t complain. But despite your muddled concerns, the feeling of you scratching his back only enhanced the warrior’s experience. He grunted each time your hips met, feeling his climax approaching. And you were right there with him, your smaller body trembling as the familiar knot twisted in your stomach. It kept building, and building until the knot finally uncoiled itself with a burst of wet heat. It felt as if the sun had just imploded inside of you and that you should be a pile of ash. But you were whole, despite the thick dick that was still stretching your pussy relentlessly.

Your screaming had grown impossibly louder as the warrior continued to batter your walls in anticipation of his own orgasm. What seemed like endless abuse to your cervix abruptly ended when you felt a spray of liquid spattering against the muscle. Your lover grunted, his brown eyes screwed shut and his bottom lip bleeding from his teeth cutting through the skin, as he hosed your insides with his warm semen.

Despite having finished, Cyrax made no move to pull out. Rather, he chose to rest over top of you, his cock warm inside your trembling hole. You allowed it.

There were no words. Maybe when you could think clearly again, you would be able to find your voice. It might be a little hoarse, to accompany the ache that would surely be present when you tried to walk in the morning, but that sounded like just that: a morning problem.

[calpalirwin]

All Too Well

Summary: Bucky can’t let Steve’s memory go.

Word Count: 3.6k

And away, and away we go!

__

The plain black ball cap was pulled low on his head as he trudged his way through the museum. He was stupid for being there. A whole ass museum literally dedicated to his ex. But it was somehow the only place he ever found peace. The memories couldn’t swallow him whole when they were plastered on the walls. It was the one place he could allow himself to be angry for how everything had played out.

His fingers fiddled with the cool metal hanging from his neck, feeling the rise and fall of the letters stamped in it. “Fuck you, Steve,” he muttered darkly. “Fuck. You.”

~~~

“Shouldn’t I be the nervous one?” Bucky asked with a laugh, as he watched Steve take three hurried steps for every single stride of his. “I’m the one meeting your mother.”

“Yeah, but… I’ve never brought anyone home before,” Steve mumbled, his face turning red. “Girls don’t exactly throw themselves at me the way they throw themselves at you.”

“Mmm, well, good thing I’m not a girl then.”

Steve choked, his face growing an even brighter shade of red.

“Oh…” Bucky said in realization. “You didn’t tell her, did you?”

Steve answered by picking up his speed, the leaves crunching under his rapid footsteps.

“Steve. Did you, or did you not tell your mother about me?” Bucky asked, easily lengthening his own stride to keep up with the smaller man. “Answer me.”

Steve snorted, shoving his hands in his pockets, his eyes glued to the pavement. “Of course I told her about you. She knows you’re coming.”

“Steve.”

His feet slowed to a stop, and his shoulders slumped as he spared a glance upwards at Bucky. “You’re not mad, are you?” he asked with concern.

Bucky smiled warmly, draping an arm across Steve’s shoulders. “No, I’m not mad. But you gotta be the one to tell her.”

“Buck, no,” Steve pleaded, his eyes wide. “I-I can’t.”

“I’m not gonna be your dirty secret, Steve.”

“I never said you were!”

“Then tell your mother.”

Steve’s footsteps were heavy with dread as he dragged himself up the porch of a house Bucky assumed was his mother’s. Steve’s breath was slow as he steadied himself, squaring his shoulders, his face getting a determined look to it, but his eyes still held traces of fear as he looked up at Bucky.

“I’m right here, sweetheart,” Bucky said in a low, reassuring voice, his hand giving Steve’s arm a small squeeze of encouragement.

Another slow breath and Steve pushed his way into the home with a call of “Mom! We’re here!”

A woman poked her head out of the kitchen, a big smile on her face. “Steve! And you must be James,” she said, her attention quickly shifting from her son to Bucky.

“Pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” Bucky greeted her politely.

“Please, have a seat,” she gestured at the couches. “Make yourselves at home. Can I get you boys anything to drink? Eat?”

“I got it, Mom,” Steve told her, joining her in the kitchen while Bucky perched himself on the edge of a couch cushion.

“Steve, you didn’t tell me your friend was so…” Mrs. Rogers cleared her throat before whispering, “handsome.”

Bucky felt his face heat up at the compliment, while his fingers curled into fists at the mention of ‘friends’.

“Erm,” Steve coughed. “Yeah, Mom, about that… Buck and I… Buck, he’s my… We’re…”

“Steve, Steve,” she interrupted her son’s fumbling, a hand resting gently on his shoulder. “He’s not your friend, is he?”

The blonde shook his head sheepishly. “No… He’s… So much more than that.”

“Hmm…” Mrs. Rogers pursed her lips together as her eyes swept over Bucky who offered up a shy smile. “James, would you like to see pictures of Steve from when he was little?”

Whatever sigh of relief Steve was about to let out quickly changed to a groan. “Mom…”

Bucky let out a laugh, “You mean more little than he is now? I'd love to.”

Hours later, Bucky was still awake on the couch when soft footsteps padded down the hallway. “What are you doing, sneaking about?” he asked in a whisper when the fridge door pulled open, illuminating Steve in a soft glow.

Steve jumped, hand flying to his chest. “Jesus, Buck! I thought you were asleep.”

“Well, see…” he said, as he got up. “I was about to. But now you’re here. What are you doing?” Each word he spoke brought him closer to Steve, pressing him against the kitchen counter.

“I was getting water,” Steve gulped out, holding up a glass as evidence.

“You sure that’s the only reason?” Bucky asked, his hands roaming Steve’s waist.

“Buck…” Steve’s voice was a low whine as he squirmed away. “C’mon, not here.”

“Fine, fine,” he said, pulling back, but keeping his hands on Steve. “Dance with me, then.”

“Dance with you? Here? Now? There’s no music.”

“I wasn’t asking you.”

“I take it that you got a kick out of my mom embarrassing me this afternoon?” Steve asked as he let Bucky dance him around the kitchen.

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed about your past, sweetheart. It all led to you being you.”

“I suppose. But it’s really not fair that I can’t meet your parents and spend an afternoon listening to them embarrass you.”

“Yeah. They would have loved you, too. But I’ll tell you anything you wanna know.”

“You will?”

“Mhm. How else can we build a future if we don’t know each other’s pasts?”

“You really want to be my future?”

“I really do. Do you wanna be mine?”

“More than anything,” Steve nodded, before resting his head against Bucky’s chest. “I love you, Buck.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

~~~

The bottle lay empty before him on the coffee table. His throat burned as he drained the last sip from his glass. He knew if he looked in a mirror his eyes would be rimmed red but it had nothing to do with the alcohol consumption. Not being able to get drunk enough to drown out Steve’s memory was easily the thing Bucky hated most about being a super soldier.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he deadpanned before his face pinched and he hurled the glass as hard as he could across the room. “UNTIL THE END OF THE LINE!” he bellowed, swiping the bottle off the coffee table in an angry motion as tears poured down his face.

With a mangled cry of heartache and rage, Bucky shattered like the glass shards decorating the floor, breaking apart like Steve’s promises.

~~~

Bucky gripped the enlistment form angrily in his fist, crumpling it. “Again?” he demanded sharply. “How many times are you gonna do this, Steve?”

“As many as it takes,” Steve replied icily.

Bucky sighed, rubbing at his face in agitation. “No. You have to stop doing this.”

“Why?”

“It’s illegal for one thing!” Bucky snapped. “And for another, I’m telling you no! You’re not allowed to enlist, do you understand me?!”

“Not allowed?!” Steve hollered back, matching his boyfriend’s anger.

“Yes! I’m forbidding you from enlisting!”

“Do you realize how stupid you sound?! There’s a war going on, Bucky! They need men to fight!”

“How stupid I sound?! Steve, you’ve been rejected four times for a reason! No sane person is going to let you fight!”

“So I’m supposed to just let you go?!”

“You think I want to go?! I don’t have a choice here! Believe me, if I did, I wouldn’t be going! So why the hell are you so pressed to go yourself?! What are you trying to prove?!”

Steve glared up at Bucky in startling realization. “You don’t think I can do it… Nobody does… You all think I’d be a dead man walking…”

“Steve…”

“No! It’s the truth, isn’t it? Nobody believes that scrawny asthmatic Steve Rogers can be a bonafide American soldier… Well… I expected it from them, Buck. But from you? You can’t even believe in me?” He hung his head sadly. “Wow…”

“Steve…” Bucky repeated, hating the look of betrayal on his boyfriend’s face. “Sweetheart…”

Steve held up a hand. “Don’t. You can’t ‘sweetheart’ your way out of this.”

“I’m not trying t-” Bucky’s hands curled into fists at his sides. “God damn it, Steve, of course I believe in you. But can you also understand that the only reason I’m at peace going to war myself is because I know you’ll be safe here? God… if anything happened to you… I’d… I’d…”

“Can you understand that I don’t want to sit here and pray you’ll come back? That I don’t want to have to worry about your safety either?”

“Cuz joining the war’s gonna stop you from worrying? That’s a load of crap.”

“No, it wouldn’t stop me from worrying about you, but it’d be a hell of a lot better than sitting at home, twiddling my thumbs for God knows how long!”

“You know… I always knew you were stubborn. But I thought you’d draw the line at DYING!”

“WHO SAID I WAS GOING TO DIE?!”

“OH I DUNNO! MAYBE THE FUCKIN’ WAR THAT’S KILLING EVERYONE?!”

“AND HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL KNOWING THAT YOU COULD BE ONE OF THEM, BUCK?! HUH?!”

“YOU JOINING THE WAR DOESN’T PROTECT ME! And if you can’t realize that… God damn it! One of us stands a really good chance of making it out of this hell alive, and you wanna give that up?”

“The future doesn’t mean shit to me if you’re not around for it, Bucky.”

“You can’t protect me from this, and I get how angry that makes you. But lying on enlistment forms isn’t the brave or noble thing. It’s just stupid. And I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings, or if you wanna take that as me not believing in you. But I need you to promise me that you’re gonna stop enlisting, or I swear I’ll report you myself.”

“Buck…” Steve cried in a broken whisper, a tear sliding down his face. “This isn’t fair…”

Bucky pulled Steve into his arms, resting his chin in the golden locks as Steve sobbed in his arms. “Promise me, sweetheart. Nothing stupid until I get back. And I will. I’ll come back.”

~~~

“This isn’t fair!” Bucky wailed into his hands, still curled up on the floor. The tight band around his chest made him fight for each sobbed breath that wracked through his body. “I kept my promises! Why couldn’t you keep yours?! What did I do wrong?! All I ever wanted was for you to love me back! Was that too much to ask of you?! For you to love me back?! THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

~~~

Bucky sat quietly while Steve cleaned up his face, his mind reeling. He hadn’t been able to trust his thoughts in so long, captivity under Hydra control making the line between reality and fantasy blurred. And even with Steve physically in front of him, he still wasn’t sure if he was real or not. After all, the Steve he’d left in New York had been so much different than the Steve standing before him now. How did a grown man have a growth spurt of this proportion in a handful of months?

He knew Steve was no doubt telling him the story of his magical growth spurt, as the blonde’s lips were moving rapidly. But Bucky couldn’t process much beyond “genetic testing” and “serum” as his mind slowly went from acceptance to heartache. If Steve was real, it meant all his memories of him were too. And if that was the case, why did Steve keep making eyes at the woman in the room with them? Was the love part not real? Had that been some sick coping mechanism to keep him from going insane? The thought that someone out there loved him being enough to keep him from becoming the homicidal maniac Hydra wanted?

“I’m sorry,” Bucky interrupted, a different word catching his attention. “Grenade?”

Steve and the woman shared a sheepish smile. “Yes,” she nodded. “In training, Captain Rogers here threw himself on top of a grenade.”

“Captain? Wow,” Bucky said, his tone both bitter and impressed. “Um… Peggy, was it? Could you excuse us for a moment?”

“Yes, of course. My apologies. And welcome back, Sergeant Barnes.”

Steve gulped as the tent flap closed behind Peggy, leaving him alone with Bucky. “Buck-” he started, scrambling to defuse the look of cold steel Bucky fixed him with.

“A grenade?” Bucky whispered terrifyingly low. “A grenade?!”

“It didn’t go off…”

Bucky jumped to his feet. “A GRENADE?! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!”

“I WAS THINKING I WAS GIVEN A CHANCE AND I TOOK IT!”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY HOME!”

“AND LOOK WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED IF I DIDN’T! OR NEED I REMIND YOU THAT I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE?!”

Bucky set his jaw stubbornly. “You think I got captured on purpose? It was an ambush, Steve.”

Steve sighed. “I didn’t say it was your fault.”

“You didn’t have to… I promised you I’d come back, and I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain. But you… you little…”

“I’m not little anymore…”

“Shut up before I get more mad at you.”

Steve’s face crumpled. “You’re mad at me?”

“Of course I’m mad at you! I specifically told you not to do anything stupid! And what do you do? You went and did something stupid! Genetic testing?! Jumping on a grenade?!”

“Again… the grenade didn’t go off. And I wouldn’t say I ‘jumped’ on it exactly. ‘Curled my body around it’ is far more accurate.”

“Shut up!” Bucky thundered. “I don’t know whether I should kiss you in relief, or kick your ass for being so stupid.”

Steve offered up a shy smirk. “I mean… you could try to kick my ass. But I don’t think it would work out very well.”

With a growl, Bucky stalked over to Steve, hand gripping the younger man’s throat as he easily threw Steve against the wall, Steve’s boots hovering above ground. “Wanna retract your statement, Captain?”

Steve grinned. “I’ve missed you too, Buck,” he croaked.

In a flash Bucky dropped Steve before enveloping him in a rib crushing hug. “Don’t you ever scare me like this again, you understand me?” His voice was a cracked whisper as he savored the feeling of Steve in his arms again.

Steve held Bucky back, the new strength strange but comforting to Bucky. “I know you want me to be sorry, but I can’t. I can’t apologize for getting you back.”

“But everything before that?”

“It won’t happen again?” Steve offered. 

“It won’t-” Bucky started to repeat in bafflement before he let out a loud laugh. “You’re a little shit, Rogers.”

Steve nuzzled his face into Bucky’s neck. “But you still love me, right?”

Bucky continued to chuckle, combing his fingers through Steve’s hair. “Yes, I still love you. More than you’ll ever know.”

“And you’re not mad at me anymore?” The blue eyes were wide and sad as they peered up at him. “Please don’t be mad at me anymore.”

“I’m getting there,” Bucky answered truthfully, his fingers reaching out to grip Steve’s chin when Steve tried to hide his face in shame. “There’s a lot to get used to.”

“I’m still me, Buck. I just look different.”

“Different looks good on you,” Bucky stated, letting his eyes roam Steve’s new body hungrily. “Really good.” His fingers moved to ghost along the muscles in Steve’s arms, his tongue wetting his lips. And he took great satisfaction in the way Steve’s face flushed and the moan that ripped out of his throat when Bucky’s lips connected with the Captain’s. 

~~~

Bucky grasped at the dog tags around his neck like a lifeline. Each run of his fingers across the letters loosening the tightness in his chest. Each breath a little easier to gasp out.

Slowly he pushed himself to his feet, chuckling darkly at the irony of it all. For years he had been afraid to trust his thoughts, never sure of what was real and what wasn’t. But when it came to Steve? He remembered everything. And he could recall it all in shocking clarity and detail. Every laugh, every kiss, every tear. He could picture it all like it was still happening, even though it all was long gone now. Memories that could never fade.

~~~

Bucky listened to the soft rain falling outside his window as he stared up at the ceiling in the dark. He wasn’t a stranger to nightmares waking him up, but this one was new. No fighting, or violence. Just a watery pair of blue eyes and a quivering lip.

All Bucky had to do was turn his head to find Steve sleeping peacefully beside him, lips parting slightly with each slow breath. But this was a nightmare Bucky couldn’t shake. One he couldn’t predict the ending to. He just knew it was coming. And he kept trying in vain to stop it, or at the very least prolong it.

Steve let out a small whimper as he shifted in his sleep, searching for Bucky, and sighing in content when he found him. Even with his super soldier body, he still sought out the comfort that was Bucky. And somehow that hurt Bucky all the more as he twisted ever so slightly to stamp a kiss against Steve’s forehead. “Shh,” he soothed quietly. “I’m right here.”

Steve stirred more in his sleep, eyes fluttering open slowly. “Hey,” he rasped slowly. “You didn’t have another nightmare, did you?”

Bucky shook his head. “No,” he lied. “Just can’t fall asleep. Soft bed… you know…”

Even in the dark, Bucky could see Steve frown. “What’s on your mind, Buck?”

“It’s nothing.” Another lie.

“Buck.” Even with an edge of sleep, Steve’s voice was stern.

“It’s nothing I want to talk about now,” Bucky amended. “Just let me have these last moments with you, okay? Can you give me that?”

The bed creaked as Steve sat up. “Bucky… What are you talking about? What’s going on?”

“You’re leaving me for her, aren’t you?”

“I- What?”

“Don’t lie to me. Don’t spare my feelings. I see the way you look at her. Know the way you look at her. Because it’s how I look at you. It’s how you used to look at me, too.”

“Bucky…”

“When, Steve? How much longer do I have with you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” Bucky’s voice yelled out like thunder. “God damn it… Don’t lie to me… You love her…”

“I love you, Bucky.”

“But you love her, too. You love what she’s able to give you. And I’m just the reminder of everything you used to be…”

“Bucky…” Steve’s voice started to break.

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Bucky pleaded, his cheeks damp with the tears that rolled down his face. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Bucky, please…”

“Tell me I’m wrong, Steve. Tell me you don’t love her. Tell me you’re not leaving me for her. You can’t, can you?”

“You told me not to lie to you… I love you Bucky. I really do.”

“Then don’t do this to me… Please… Don’t leave me for her…”

“I don’t know how to love you both…”

“Then stop loving her!”

“I can’t! I’ve been trying! That’s why I’m still with you! But I can’t. And I can’t stop loving you either.”

“Fuck you, Rogers,” Bucky let out a scoff of disgust, but it didn’t have the effect he wanted considering it was also half of a choked sob. “You stopped loving me the second you started loving her.”

“Buck-”

“Get out.”

“Buck!”

“I said get out, Captain.”

~~~

Bucky shoved his hands deep in his pockets, lengthening his strides as the rain started to fall. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed, and he would have broken out in a slow jog to avoid getting soaked, but his apartment was coming into sight. He’d make it. Barely. But he’d make it.

He would have walked straight past the man sitting on the steps outside, if the man’s words of “Huh. So those are where my dog tags went. Been looking for those,” didn’t freeze him in his tracks.

Bucky didn’t say anything as Steve rose to his feet, his blonde hair and the shoulders of his jacket drenched darkly with the rain.

“Wow… Sam was right… You do have a staring problem,” Steve tried to joke with a smile.

“Can I help you, Captain?” Bucky asked, not bothering to soften the bite of his tone.

Steve let out a long sigh. “Can we not do this? The attitude?”

Bucky looked skyward, the rain falling faster and heavier. He may not be able to get drunk, but he could still catch a wicked cold if he stayed out here much longer. And as much as he hated it, he still knew Steve well enough to know that the man was shivering based on the slight tremor in his jaw as he tried to stop his teeth from clacking together. “I suppose you want to come inside, then?”

“Sure beats the alternative of freezing to death. Wasn’t really a fan of that.”

Another bad attempt at a joke that Bucky didn’t take the bait for. Instead, he titled his head towards the building. “C’mon, then.”

Steve smiled, following after Bucky into the building and then Bucky’s apartment. “Thanks, Buck.”

“I wouldn’t thank me yet, Rogers. Don’t mistake my not wanting to get sick as any sort of warm welcome upon seeing you. So I’ll only ask you this once. What do you want?”

__

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[ddullahan]

hadestown au 1

HI SO My anxiety has been through the fuckin roof for the past few weeks and in a fit of stress I deleted the first look of the bees hadestown au that I posted a few weeks ago. I’m feeling much better now and I wanted to repost it because I really am super excited about it >< Anyway, second verse, maybe same as the first, here we go! ---------------- it’s an old song As all tales begin, there comes a moment of question. The precipice we all stand at, toes hanging over the edge, eager to take the plunge. The question, different for every eye and ear turned to the story, starts as a feeling. It buoys us through the long swathes of paragraphs ahead. It seeps into our minds, and pushes us off the edge. We have that moment of freefall. Of realisation. We have to trust in something to catch us. Like most fairy tales, it begins with once upon a time. There laid a railroad track.   If you've ever heard the rails sing on a good, windy day, you'd know the sound sticks to the back of your mind. There to stay until the dark of night, when it creeps up to whisper wanderlust into your bones. The song of the rails is a low and resonant thing, humming into the willows scattered along the railroad sides. They used to say the rails were the Fates groaning in your ears. Urging you along. Waiting in anticipation for the train to come to call. Waiting for the story to start its freefall. The metal likes to wail beneath blackened wheels on hot, summer days. Days much like the one in which our story begins. Once upon a time - Metal chatters under the weight of an ancient, scorch-marked train. Decorated with blacked out windows. Panes of glass soot-stained, like they’d been brushed with fire one too many times. Coal smoke bursts from its chimney with a grudge, flooding the gray skies in the type of black smog that you can taste in the back of your mouth, long after the train’s disappeared. It was painted white once, a long, long time ago. A gift from the boss man down below for his flowering wife; but it’s one of those gifts you shove in the back of your drawer. One of those things that you spend your nights lying awake in bed, thinking in guilty chords. The train still runs, but the old white sides are now black and cold. Like the panting of dogs on the skin of your heels, the wind still blows hot behind it. The only thing it tows are souls to their final destination, but it won't take you if you ain't got the gold to board. It’s a fact almost everyone knows. ‘Cause the old legends say the road to hell could lead you out of poverty, but you gotta pay the toll to get that good money. The wind cracks and snaps after the train; sends the short ribbons of inky black hair whipping. Snapping into the brown-skinned face of a hungry young woman.   Blake Belladonna’s eyes glint like knives with a debt to pay, and her steps are sure footed against the rolling rocks under her boots. She wears a weathered bag slung over her shoulder, and a once-warm leather duster now worn to shit and hole-y. She seems small among the billowing willows and smoggy skies. She doesn't know where she's going or how she got to the railroad at all - but she knows how to turn her collar against the wind. And she knows how to run.   Metal shrieks, pulling her eyes up like a hand to the chin. She’s left to watch as the ruined, black omen of a train screams past a small, dilapidated station. It’s the only structure for miles. The cicadas are screaming along to the wailing of the tracks in a symphony, until the locomotive vanishes over the curve of a distant hill. The station's dry, mud-caked windows send silt drifting to cracked, rotting floorboards. The coke-bottle thick panes rattle angrily in their fragile frames, and then come to find their peace once more. Damn this is a dump, the young woman thinks, approaching the station. But it'll have to do. The sun's rays sink into her skull and turn her warm brown skin hot to the touch. It's far too hot for April. Stepping into the shade is an immediate relief, until the hot wind kicks up again. It blasts in her face as if to remind her it's there. As if she could ever forget. She's used to the way it whispers starvation in her ears. She throws the door open and escapes from the wind; stumbles her way into the empty station. Small and dusty like it’d been forgotten, filled with only two benches facing each other and a single door hiding behind them in the gloom. There's a sign on the door that reads "End o  th  line Caf ". Faintly, she can hear music behind it. Blake doesn't hesitate, and heads for the door. The knob breaks off in her hand, but it feels familiar and solid so she pockets it and heads inside. Follows the hallway and the pull of her feet to the music. The walls grow darker and thicker with polished wood. Her steps don't seem to echo and the music has since paused. The quiet starts to make her anxious. She doesn't like dark hallways. She's dreamt of them enough for a lifetime. The further she goes, the more her unease starts to grow and the more she starts to wonder if she's been here before. It's ridiculous, really. This is the farthest south she'd ever gone. Or was she in the east? Her anxious heart speeds up for a reason she can't see, and it's like her feet already know where to go. The hallway turns suddenly and she finds herself standing at the rim of an amphitheater of sorts. The music fades back in. There's a band jamming to soft jazz in the stands, people crowded and conversing at tiny tables scattered about the flat floor at the bottom. There's a man at a piano playing a diddy, there's a flicker of gold in the kitchen beyond. It's alive in a way that she hadn't seen in a long time, and she finds her feet eager to join the dancing 'round the tables below. She takes a step and nearly runs into another woman, decked out in a crisp white and red suit. She’s older, maybe late thirties or mid forties - has this eternally kind, yet melancholy smile. Her features are fair, but tired. Her black hair is pulled back like Blake’s, but tipped with red like the ends had been dipped in paint. Blake apologises immediately - "E-excuse me, sorry," and starts picking her way down to the tables. "No worries dear," She hears faintly behind her, the older woman's face already blurred from her memory. She blinks and suddenly she’s on the bottom floor, with the movers and shakers rattling cups with their stomping jive. She wants to move with them, but she's already reaching for an empty chair, like her hand was following its own storyline. The flash of gold catches her attention again. Her feet slip into a shallow groove in the floor, and she is rooted. Something crashes, and her eyes follow the clattering sharp shards of porcelain. One piece with purple trim bounces off a brown boot. She notices a hole near the big toe. Blake looks up, and her heart decides to freefall.   All the way across the floor stands a young woman in an apron. A bucket of newly broken dishes lay at her feet.   Her eyes are so pale and pretty they have their own orbit amidst the aging lights above. Her blonde hair ripples into liquid gold, twisted messily into a bun. Broad shoulders are cinched into position with suspenders and there's an off-white shirt rolled up to her elbows, the hem tucked into a pair of trousers. The skin of her strong forearms are tanned and riddled with freckles, spreading constellations all the way up her neck and across the gradual slope of her nose.   Oh, there's something familiar about all of this. Blake feels it in her bones. There’s something familiar in the ‘o’ of her startled mouth. Something about the empty hands she hovers, still holding an imaginary bucket of plates. She's got those sharp lilac eyes pinned on something in front of her.   It's a jolt to realise she's staring right at Blake. Though suddenly, that older woman in the white and red suit sweeps by that freckled face, and it's with a smile and a wave that their staring contest ends. No one claims the victory as the spell breaks. The older woman asks something that Blake can't hear, but she knows her voice is soft and sweet. Her feet move like she’s skating on air, and Blake decides to focus on that. She focuses on that instead of the heartbeat in her chest. She doesn’t think about how her pulse no longer feels like it belongs to herself. The golden woman nods stiffly and turns. Follows the gliding woman to the back of the house, and Blake is left with a heart migrating into her throat. The hungry young woman quickly tears her gaze away, uproots her feet from the grooves in the floor, and sits at the table she'd claimed. Her skin feels clammy. Her body is buzzing. She shrugs off her bag and coat, then pulls her bag into her lap. As if there was anything in there worth protecting. It could be minutes, it could be hours. She's really not sure, when a shadow falls over her table, and the sight aches like an old friend. A bottle of some fizzy drink is set gently before her, the bottle cap rattling towards her side of the table. Sunflower Pop, it reads. She looks up. The poor young woman, with her liquid gold locks wrapped in a messy topknot, stares right back. They're both struck speechless.   If there was ever a moment where destiny fills the lungs, it was then. Anticipation strings itself between their ribs, the cords like telephone wires humming their universal tune. I found you. I found you. I found you. But neither of them say a word to each other. The anticipation feels closer to a noose than a cup-and-string, the longer they spend breathing in the other's presence. The hungry young woman with hair black as night, just couldn't look away. Couldn't make her voice work right. The gold haired woman's jaw seems to work, but there was still no sound to be heard. Eventually the woman just turns around and walks away, toddling and tripping like her knees were unsteady. Blake sits where she left her, feeling much more than sympathy. She feels like her chair would collapse with her if she tried to follow. And again, there are voices whispering in the back of her mind. The wind already found her inside this place, its voices groaning and hollow. It always finds her, and she knows. She knows it always will. But as her slender fingers wrap around the neck of the bottle left on her table, Blake tastes the fizz and hums. Feels the crackle of carbonation all across her skin as she tracks the tall blonde with her eyes. The wind doesn’t feel like a whip in this vibrant, lively place. That has to count for something. Maybe she should stick around, just for one day. Maybe she would stick around and wait for the band to play.