#there have been so many dogs in this show and i dont think a single one was a real dog
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the more cecil talks about dogs, the more convinced i am that hes never seen a real dog before and aubergine is just an empty water bottle with a leash
#space.txt#wtnv#wtnv spoilers#cc#there have been so many dogs in this show and i dont think a single one was a real dog#and i know he said he was a dog person like a decade ago but#he probably thought it was some genre of music like ska#idk i just like the idea of cecil calling everything he doesnt know a dog. except a real dog which he has never seen#welcome to night vale
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can I ask what bridgerton books you’ve read and if they’re worth it
i read “the viscount who loved me” yeeeeears ago. and it is still probably my fav regency romance novel. it’s not even perfect. i just loooved the characterizations. (they’ll NEVER make me hate you book kate) and i think the banter and slow burn in the first half of the book was SOOO good. and literally what so many romance novels LACK. bc insta-lust/love just doesn’t pack the same punch. i’m sorry
also i litchrally claimed kate as a women of color in my own delusions back when i was literally reading a standard White Ass Regency Romance Novel (BEFORE there was ever any show) bc i just loved kate that much. and was like WHOS gonna beat my ass⁉️ (this was after still star crossed lol) she was a woman of color. TO ME.
plus they described kate as “dark” and edwina as “fair” in the book a lot which i know just meant hair/eyes but i was like. slay! no take backs! LDMLSJSKSJ
(so despite everything about the way the show did kate i did absolutely WIN in that aspect)
next. the second book i read was “romancing mister bridgerton”. (again. this is before there was ever a show) bc i liked the little of penelope i saw in kanthonys book. but then. well. reading that book is when i realized “the viscount who loved me” might have been a fluke bc WHAT in the world. “romancing mister bridgerton” was just 350 pages of penelope getting dogged by the boringest MOST bitchless man on earth. the way she PINED for colin from literally page 1. PAGE ONE. but the book doesn’t spend a SINGLE second making him compelling in ANY way, shape or form was MIND boggling. AND THEN gave him the audacity to treat HER like shit⁉️
and the WHOLE TIME the book is like they’re friends to lovers btw!!! hehe <333. NO THEY WERENT! DONT piss me off rn. that man was NOT her friend. he was nice to her ONLY when he deemed her below him. and as soon as he found out she had success in something he didn’t, it was immediate disdain and disrespect for her. that’s not a friend?!
ALL WHILE! she falls all over herself bc of how bad she wants him. i wanted to get her the fuck out of her OWN romance when i was reading that book. i could not believe what it was selling as real true love. garbage
next. i was debating if i should check out another book after that mess. bc i didn’t know if the other were also bad. and eventually just decided to start from the beginning (moment of silence 😞) and pulled up “the duke and i” and then as im reading the synopsis i stumble on a review detailing the plot and that describes the actual sexual assault in that book that gets played off as romance.
aaand i have NOT touched another bridgerton book since
i Have heard eloise’s book and romance is awful by mutuals who have read them all. and benedict’s is not very great either. francesca’s book may be the only worthy follow up to tvwlm. those 2 are generally considered the better ones of the series.
i’m still recovering from the ones i have read though so wont be able to confirm any time soon
in conclusion:
the viscount who loved me (my best friend still idc. not perfect but very gorgeous to me)
romancing mister bridgerton (hot garbage. argue with your mother)
the duke and i (burning books is not always bad. it would be fine here)
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See so i think jikook are close def that much i can say, but i dont think they are in a relationship or a serious one at that , i mean we are pretty sure that jk had teh thing with the women (which people for some reason dont agree with or say its a cosplayer , who has teh exact same hairstyle, floorplan, walls, dog, sofa and lights , mannerisms, apartment and very soon after that jk said that "saesangs are still here" , so i dont whats there to disprove over here for those relegious jikook people) and then jm has with the actress who posts his apartment pics, and all of this happened esp with jk at that period when they admitted they werent talking at all, and wouldnt have if they hadnt met, throughout ct it felt that jk was sort of anxious, bored, distracted more like it and felt was upset, all of this also points that maybe they had a fallout a major one perhaps, but now they are better bc hell they went to military together. But all of this factually also puts out that jk and jm are not dating, jk is having his fun, with prob diff people, relationships and same prob with jm. Tae was with jennie, and even rm had a long committed relationship until recently it seems from rpwp songs. so all of this people fighting over taekook vs jikook and how jk seems abusive is redundant , bc they arent in a relationship either of them. what are you thoughts about it.
You including the “Jungkook was anxious and irritated and upset” line tells me you’re a Tkkr trying to hide your hands, lol.
Jungkook may have been nervous at the start of their trip to Connecticut, because Jimin was too, as they both mentioned it’s the first time they’re hanging out after a bit of not seeing each other. But this attempt at highlighting JK only, and saying he seemed uninterested in whatever ways, has been the one thing Tkkrs clung to since the first episode, and it is baseless.
Jungkook is allowed to feel however he felt, but we also all watched the damn show. He was smiling and happy during every single episode thus far, and reiterated his joy many times over. He also said during the first episode that he wanted to keep traveling and filming with Jimin after enlistment. He wants to do it until they’re 50. Was he exaggerating? Most probably, and him being tired at some points was a given due to him being in the middle of promoting his solo work. Outside of that though, he was happy and willing to do the show.
Jungkook and Jimin traveled together because they chose to, because they wanted to. So whatever was going on behind the scenes between them, is something we will never know the full picture of. So if you don’t think they’re together, okay, but I don’t think you ever did, because I’m pretty sure you are a Tkkr anyway.
Regardless of what you ship though, smoke and mirrors are not good indicators that people are dating. Jimin and Jungkook flirt and put their mouths on one another. They choose each other over and over, so no matter the fact that there is a woman claiming to be or trying to insinuate she is Jimin’s girlfriend. Without him ever confirming that, she’s just a weirdo.
Not to mention, why would any of their actual partners post the way she does? If Park Jimin was my man, I do not need to vague post and try to show off bits and pieces of our lives to convince his fans of it. Never mind the fact that it’s his private life. So if they are together, unless Jimin is okay with her stirring shit up in the fandom and posting his house on IG… that’s not something a grown woman, who is famous adjacent herself, dating an incredibly famous person would do.
In comparison, Namjoon and his potential boyfriend situation is the near exact opposite of what that woman is or was doing. We have no idea who the man (or men) is in the pictures Namjoon himself posted. Maybe some people do, idk, but the point is, there is no way to determine who they are nor what they mean to Joon outside of fandom speculation. Yet the speculation makes sense and is believable, because Namjoon himself played into it. He wasn’t deterred by people questioning his sexuality nor relationship status, he posted a heart over a man’s face, and was posting all types of loves songs as he traveled with his family and a man. Yet when he seemingly had his heartbroken, he deleted all photos of the emoji covered man (or men), started talking shit about relationships, and posting sad queer music.
That, imo, is how I believe a relationship between any BTS member would go. Not the heartbreak, but a “quiet launch”. Tae and Jennie were even along similar lines. They unfortunately didn’t post their pictures themselves, but even in the middle of the drama, they kept seeing each other in public spaces. They just didn’t publicize their whereabouts.
So if two members of the group can seemingly date both famous and presumably non famous people, and take pictures and be seen out and about with them, why can’t Jimin? Why is his relationship shrouded in mystery, and only fueled by the woman claiming to live with him all the while he makes no move to imply there’s truth to the rumor?
If he and JK have absolutely nothing going on, why is he out here letting his girlfriend look goofy, all the while biting hickies on a man? While flirting with a man on live and asking him to get naked? While traveling with the same man, getting his ass slapped by him in bed? Enlisting in the military with said man, using a program that keeps them together the entire time?
So again, you don’t have to ship Jikook nor think anything of them, but if you’re going to pull in Taennie and Namjoon’s possible situation to use as examples of the members dating, keep it steady across the board. Jimin and Jungkook’s speculated relationships with women do not match up with Taennie nor Joon’s situation, yet Jikook does.
They travel, sight see, share meals, stay up late, take cute selfies, and cuddle up. So what makes Jikook less likely, aside from them being in the same group for a decade? Which only adds reason to why they may have had some communication issues or whatever, and needed time apart.
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My mutual @alectricblue tagged me in this game tag! I normally dont do these, but I thought it'd be nice to get to know me more (and also meet y'all if you wish to participate)!
It will be long though. Sorry
1. Were you named after anyone?
Was originally gonna be named Andrea after a ballerina my grandma liked! Sadly no one remembered her well, not even grandma, so I don't know much about her.
My deadname was simply just chosen bc it was easy to pronounce, as well as my chosen name Diego (it's what I would've been called had I been male), although when I chose it for myself I liked the JoJo character Diego Brando so there was some correlation there.
Funnily enough, people think I'm nicknamed Lio after the Promare character, but I hadn't met them yet.
2. When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday. At 11pm. Watching OR3O's One Piece song. It was nostalgic ok
3. Do you have kids?
Nope. There's an absurd amount of reasons I don't want them, although not a single one is because I dislike them. I've had to babysit many kids and they've all been very sweet.
4. What sports do you play/have you played?
Oof, my recent sports is taking my dog for a walk. But I used to like volleyball and kickball! And reluctantly played soccer and did swimming! Sports give me a lot of anxiety and i'm not sure why.
5. Do you use sarcasm?
I do a lot of teasing and lighthearted banter that can sometimes be considered sarcasm?
6. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Their eyes! Or anything outstanding like cool hairstyles or visible tattoos.
With online people, I mostly recognize them by pfp or a vague mental pronunciation of their username.
7. What's your eye color?
Dark brown?? Or black??
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Honestly, whatever makes me think more. Unhappy endings tend to do that more though, so I guess scary movies! But of course it depends on the mood, sometimes I just want a nice story to cheer me up.
9. Any talents?
I've been told I am talented at the piano! And music in general, although most of my skills feel less like talent and more like just studying the thing.
10. Where were you born?
So I was born in the US, in Florida, but my entire family is from Costa Rica and I just happened to be born while my parents were studying abroad. I don't remember much from the US though, I came back to CR with my grandma in my first months because she was less busy than my parents, and then they came to live here again. So in my eyes I've been a true Costa Rican since always hehe
11. What are your hobbies?
Playing the piano! Also drawing sometimes (I like to color more than draw, but unless I get my hands on a coloring book I can't do that unless I draw), playing videogames (mostly RPGs and visual novels), and doomscrolling.
12. Do you have any pets?
YESSSS my beloved dog Mia!!!!!!!!!!! I love her so much, she escaped her abusive home and we found her while walking around a plaza, said hi, and she followed us home. She's been with us for 8 years now and I adore her. Reference below because how can I not show her off:
13. How tall are you?
Excellent question. I forgot but I'm average if that helps!
14. Favorite subject in school?
It changed over the years, in senior year it was English because we had my favorite teacher! I knew him for years because he has a literature club I partook in, so I was very happy to have classes with him. Plus, we saw the Oresteia, which goes tremendously hard especially when your teacher geeks out about all the symbolisms.
Apart from that, computer class! We barely ever had it, and almost had it cut out entirely in senior year, but the few times we did I really enjoyed programming and practicing typing! And when we didn't do anything we could play so.
15. Dream job?
I want to make my own videogame! So I'd say a game developer, although being a part of any videogame, especially RPGs, would be a dream come true.
Well thank you for reading, I hope that was some insight, it was very fun to reply!
Tagging section (no pressure to do it at all, you can also do it if you're not tagged who cares)
@skyllion-uwu @thefrogswhospoke @gorgeousuare @chronologicalimplosion @fishy-lilic @smoothedsmoothie @mx-mind @montied @aspirationatwork @jhofoyitchg @derkhue @mellomaia @federalfazbear @mcfinnigan @mutantsgurls @foxounderscorecube @sweetnessfollowsmp3 @mildredtefoneck @oh-my-stars1969 @unfullbucket @fluffnfuzzxoxo @electriceel69 @scottigyn @stressedsilverware @sapphicrobotenjoer @antjellies @milk1non-tolarantes @ovalbrain @chocokhaos @markdiegamer @astralix13 @atheist-xmas @blktomekurata @monstar-dreams @glass-duke @c--eam @laooneart
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so stupid how some ppl dont have the gals to admit they have a side and come with this "team smallfolk" bullshit, i noticed it only happens when there's targaryens at play, when there are other houses its more "fuck smallfolk".
the smallfolk liking viserys is what we deserve, the common people loving him
‘team neutral!’ ‘team smallfolk’ 🙄 okay *switzerland*. but you have a *preference* switzerland. you have a group of characters you *prefer*, switzerland. you say youre team neutral but you only talk about how cool and sexy and hot and sexy and cool and deep and hot and complicated and sexy the greens are? interesting.
thats an interesting point though i hadnt thought about that before but i Do think it fits…. you Do only really see ‘team smallfolk!’ when it comes to the targs. i wonder (genuinely, not being sarcastic) if it has something to do with the widespread misunderstanding of the difference between ‘conquerors’ and ‘colonizers’. and if because so many people incorrectly believe the targs are colonizers if that influences the pushback against them. the human desire to be morally ‘right’ and ‘correct’. even though, iirc, Most of the great houses either did or where descendents of people who did exactly what the targaryens did, minus the dragons. and maybe its because the targs are Main Characters and got their own history book, there isnt iir, any other books breaking down the history of the other houses. also like, iirc, wasnt there Thousands of years of the seven kingdoms before the targs came? theyve been around for a relatively short time. like didnt they barely even break double digit kings. that could be used as a mark either for or against them. either theyve managed to have *such* an impact (because of their dragons. lets be real) in such a short amount of time. or, time is Long. whos to say in another 300 years the seven kingdoms havent broken apart again and a single kingdom ruled by dragons isnt just an ancient story. OR maybe its Because of their dragons they get so much pushback. since hotd started airing ive seen a lot of people comparing dragons to nukes and while im not necessarily Against that analogy… i dont think it totally works either. i dont think dragons are just work animals like dogs or horses, i think theyre sentient And sapient. dragons arent interesting to me if theyre just dumb animals. the interesting part of dragons is a human (or near human) intelligence in an animal form.
as for your last statement…. my contrarian nature means i need to play devils advocate even to my own statements. the smallfolk also wanted aerys ii back. just because people like someone doesnt make them good. i love the proletariat, i am one, but sometimes the people are stupid. all my ‘aegon ii is just like his dad!’ posting means viserys was also just like aegon. he also wanted, tried, to be a Good, Just king. kind to the smallfolk. (before otto trained it out of him) but because of when hotd was set and the breakneck pace they set, they have to *tell* us this instead of *showing* it. (thats bad storytelling. thats bad writing.) but it also means if push came to shove i think viserys wouldve responded in the same way aegon did (maybe not as hasty, but the same Feelings. Instincts) everyones favorite marxist smallfolk loving king mindlessly executing dozens (if not hundred(s?)) of innocent smallfolk because One of them was guilty. shattering endless lives. viserys tells lyonel he wishes he had been tested and lyonel responds by telling him many who have only wished to be spared it. viserys would not have been able to handle being ‘tested’. aegon ii Will not.
#asks#me: i promise i dont grt philosophical#me after 3 drinks: uh oh yall im analyzing fandom behavior
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why do you like chuuya /gen, like I dont mean to sound rude in anyway but why😭🙏
this is going under a read more because i started yapping and couldn’t stop. i’m sorry
his personality. hes so funny and hes such a bitch i love him. but also he’s an incredibly dynamic character. he’s well written and tbh that’s enough for me to like him already. he’s had so much shit thrown at him and very well could have become a horrible person but he’s not. others care about him and he cares about others. he hasn’t let himself become as bitter as he could have been. he is still so full of humanity despite it despite everything SEE NEXT PARAGRAPH
i’m a sucker for characters that are entirely completely human and yet don’t think they are, or struggle with whether they are or not (especially thinking so because of all the reasons that they are— but i suppose chuuya doesn’t really fit that part so i won’t get into that now.) like yes chuuya has (or had, i guess) a reason to believe he isn’t, but does that really matter when faced with the fact that you have emotions and blood just like everyone else? does your make matter when you’re not so different after all? it’s existential. it makes u think.
his crime list is about as short as he is and i find that wonderful
his lore/past/backstory whatever you want to call it. not even, he’s still going through it. man 😭. he’s had so much loss but not a single goodbye and i think that’s a really fucking good (and depressing) concept. he has never had the chance to mourn properly. he acts like he did.
hes cunty
his dynamic w dazai i find very compelling too. like yes they bicker and yes they fight and yes they “hate” each other (they don’t) but they also trust each other with their lives and have left them in each other’s hands too many times to count. it shows u the depth of both their bond but also the characters individually. they’re not entirely self sufficient.. they can obviously take care of themselves but they’re at their best when working togegher. i thinkt hats cool. FREINDSHIP IS MAGIC!!1! no but it shows u that even the strongest people arent at their best until theyre able to connect. not that dazai and chuuya have a model relationship at all… but there’s trust there. and that’s enough
hes hot
he makes me so viscerally and upsettingly sad
dog motifs. ok hear me OUT i’m SORRY but tbh the title was what got me interested in bsd in the first place. everyone is a stray in this show and i like that very much. i love characters that are LOYAL to a FAULT. i love characters with gnashing teeth and wagging tails. i love characters that hold so tight onto things their hands hurt and they end up causing them to flee. that “everything i’ve ever loved has claw marks on it”??? yeah give me that shit i will eat it up EVERY TIME. i love characters that are blinded by their senses of duty, not in the way that they’d do anything whoever they’re loyal to asks of them (though that is a nice dynamic too, i don’t think that’s as Chuuya ™️ as the other i’m talking about), but in the way that they’d lay down their life without a second thought (or caring about how those people see them). a dog that is beat may bite but but but it will still have its duty. even if it hates it. (<- see also AKUTAGAWA akutagawa is the reigning champion of dog motifery that is probably why i love him so much. but that is akutagawa. and i’m talkign about chuuya so im gonna dhut up now) ) i like characters with Three Betrayals COUGH COUGH COU💥💥💥💥ogh mymgod scafamocuhe 3 betrayals chuuya flags sheep dazai Im HOWLIFJG someone KILL ME NEOW ok thay doesnt make aense i just thought it was funny. anywa
fanbs fanbs* FANGS idc if they’re fake
thanks for comign ti my ted talk 🙏 i may add more later. but i didn’t want to. talk. too much. um. i think that’s out the window though
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back w more of my song analysis bs cause im studying music performance and it’s all I think about 😍 sorry this is so long. i have so many Thoughts
the chain by fleetwood mac is such a brian song. no big beat drop, just constant driving bass - shows determination, relentlessness. specifically the line “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again” which i take to mean “after i do what im about to do i will become unlovable, so you if you don’t love me now then you will never be able to because i’ll be such an irredeemable person”
geyser by mitski is a really good song to describe nina’s relationship with Jeff. the way that the song starts off so slow, so quiet and thin, but then swells to a grand and full sound like how nina’s obsession started off so small but then grew to control her entire life. love the line “and hear the harmony only when it’s harming me”
a pearl by mitski and LJ (another mitski song cause she’s my fav artist ever) about his abandonment mmm. plus the slightly sinister sounding chords showing his evilification(?? yk what i mean. when he turned emo) ugh “you’re growing tired of me” and “i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended” so him
tongues and teeth by the cranes wives and EJ. this is SO his song. ALL of the lyrics r so incredibly him,, “my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear” plus the slightly manic instrumental, highlighting the panic he feels at potentially harming people he loves HLGKFJJDS.
also, for ur consideration, miss nothing by the pretty reckless x nat.
- anon 🌙
anon im kicking my feet. AGGHHGHG. ohh my god. yhou are using musical word that i do not comprehendn in the same way you may but wow do i love the way you describe it. very poetic i think. ill talk abt these.. and then mention a liil extra smth abt toby i thought when driving yesterday
the chain is yes very brian.... ugh... yeyah. yeah. 'after i do what im about to do' is so real. like being so very aware and conscious of your awful decisions and still going through with them. quite brian-like even under the whole complexities with hoody persona etc etc....
AND YEAH GEYSER TOO . the start of the song feels very like... idk if scary is right but its just very deep and could be quite unsettling.... nina longs for love. "i've turned down every hand thats beckoned for me to come" very pretty, fun, easy-going girl that could have plenty of suitors and yet she's still crawling towards this fucking beast of a man who is nothing good for her. "i will be the one you need" constantly warping herself for this man that wouldn't do shit for her, and she doesn't mind because she loves him in every single which way he is, and she loves how awful it is . and FUCKKKKK SHE NEEDS TO GET BETTER SHE NEEDS TO GET AWAY. she gets away dont worry. she gets over him. lots of crying and sobbing and screaming but she gets over it. its very hard to get over something awful when you crave awful
im not a huge lj fan (SCARED OF CLOWNS IM SORRY GUYS IK I KEEP HARPING ON ABOUT IT) but i loooove a pearl. "i fell in love with a war / nobody told me it ended" wow. ok. yeah. wow. jesus. rolling the pearl around looking for anything and everything that could soothe the ache of literal fucking abandonment while all you can do is wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and then its all too much and damn . :( damn ok.
IVE GORWN A MOUTH SO SHARP AND CRUEL IS LITERALLY SO PERFFECTLY EJ. FUCK. "I am not a vessel for your good intents" oh but he is sure a vessel for something demonic .... "abonded all your stupid dreams / about the girl i couldve been" HE HAD SOOO MANY FUCKING DREAAAMSSSS he wants to be a doctor he wanted to save lives he wanted a family he wanted a dog he wanted to see his little siblings grow up he wanted to take care of his elderly parents. and now all he can do is sit and be miserable because he is a monster and there is only so much he can do about it. damn. wow.
also yeah to the nat thing wow.
wow. yeah. goddamn.
AND ALSOOOOO OK LAST NIGHT I WAS DRIVING AND THIS SONG CAME ON
shit show by peter mcpoland i just keep thinking about toby. tbh ill find a way to twist any song into toby cuz i like him but yea. this is leaning more into the found family thing after losing his own and just seeing the way different people reflect his past and its gut wrenching but you know how he is. just a guy of sorts. he spends a lot of his time angry and wanting to isolate and self destruct and ruin everything around him . but he also spends a lot of his time desperate for normalcy, for respect, to be seen as a human fucking being and ah fugugh. im just imagining brian pulling him out to meet the owner of the farm near slenders forest and making him stand straight and telling the farmer 'he's a good kid, hard worker, strong. keep him around" (the hardworking strong part is true, at least) and toby's about to die cuz he's so stressed (this is shortly after all the fucking murder) but brian lightly slaps him on the back and he stands up straight and the farmer just shakes his hand and says smth nice abt 'got a good grip there' and and and guyyyyssss..... and holidays..are so hard for hhim.. and "i swear i'd see your faces staring up at me" ohh my goddd.... "I don't wanna drink alone today" man................... guys...... man......
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hi baby <333 i hope you had the absolute best time at the ateez concert!! i saw some clips on twt and i died, they looked soooo good😭
it’s been a really rough month in every sense tbh. i still haven’t heard back from the practicum but im not even bothering to write anymore. and we’re coping alright now with the doggy passing away but the first few days were really rough. i think we (but especially my bf and his fam) were clinging too much to her when she was clearly too sick </3 but all is well. thank you for the good wishes. i really appreciate them.
my bf literally stole his brother’s record player to play the ateez album for me so i vote for you to do it too😂
and about jisung, like, i literally said the same thing. i was just like “i’d have babies with any of them, they don’t even have to raise them”. (i dont plan on ever having kids either or particularly like those that aren’t part of my family) even my bf said it was understandable😂 the european air really did a number on them bc they looked so so so so good.
AND BTW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT JISUNG SUPPOSEDLY HAVING A CHEST TATTOO BC IM DYING. that is the single sexiest thing he could’ve done.
and i did hear about taemin’s tour and im so manifesting having money to be able to go😭😭😭😭 but idk if i’ll skip it to financially recover from skz (in general, they manage all my money. they’re doing a terrible job).
anyways, i love you so much bb i hope all is well. i can’t wait to hear about your ateez concerts. i’m so excited! (alsoooo lolla is in 2 weeks!!! and they have plant based options now, as a person who occasionally eats meat but doesn’t like the taste, i cheered). take care my love <3
-🐈⬛
hi baby !!!!!!!! Ahhhhh Ateez was insane 😭😭 there were so many sweet atinys around us and I got the cutest freebies <3 we tried to get merch beforehand but it was SO much more crowded this time around so a lot of it was sold out which was such a bummer ☹️ I did manage to get a Seonghwa picket but I’m gonna try to get there a little earlier for tomorrow’s show for a tshirt 🫶 fingers crossed they have them in stock this time ! I did feel super bad bc Seonghwa’s grandfather passed away the day before my show so he was crying during his ments and I just wanted to give him the biggest hug ☹️ I hope he’s doing a little better but I can’t imagine how hard it must be for him 💔 I just landed in LA a few hours ago so I’ll let you know how tomorrow’s show goes !!
Ugh I’m so sorry to hear that you still haven’t heard from your practicum 😞 I don’t even blame you for not reaching out anymore, I’d give up too. I just can’t believe how incompetent they’ve been throughout the whole process. And on top of all the stress with your bf’s dog, and just in the midst of such a busy time. I am so so sorry and I’ll keep manifesting that things start looking up soon 🫶 my sister actually didn’t end up coming to LA and she’s not going to Lolla after all bc she’s just too stressed about her internship and she doesn’t feel like she can fully enjoy anything right now. It really sucks to travel solo after all but I don’t blame her and I’m so frustrated for both of you. Sending you all my love and hoping they get back to you soon :(
PLSSSS the Jisung thing is so real 😭😭 ALSO YES I HEARD ABOUT THE TATTOO I genuinely couldn’t use my phone for a good hour after reading the news bc I was tweaking so hard LIKE RIGHTTT ON THE JITTIES™️ IS INSAAAAANE………. I saw a sketch of what its presumed to look like and I think it’s so sweet that he got it for his family 🥹 Jisung my beloved (he actually got my name tattooed it’s true)
Also manifesting Taemin US dates soooo hard 😔🤞 the first set of dates are all Asia which I’m not surprised about but I hope he comes back to LA at least !!
I love you so so much bby I can’t wait to tell you all about LA !!!! And then Lolla next oh my god it doesn’t feel real 😭 also I did NOT hear about the plant based options and as a vegetarian that’s like…. The next best thing after seeing Jisung in the flesh 💓❣️🙏
Ateez pics ofc also peep my little Ateez pajama shirt I bought for LA 👼🫶💓💓💓
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hi hi birdie mutual, remember that thing i posted a while ago about how some companions might have gotten nothing in the update due to everything that needed to be known about them being already known?? i was thinking of how does this apply to birdie, and i think it could be becuz well olan and mad dog's mention of them being fathers was just snippets that you get to know of in their bios but dont influence them as much, so in the DE there is more talking about how their experiences being fathers shaped them, then there's birdie who's whole character is basically being the way he is becuz of his sons, succumbing to alcoholism because of the death of his kids and that's a different type of grief from losing someone to the flash, as he's been carrying with this probably before it, so maybe that's why he got little to nothing, all u need to know is how devoted to his kids he was. another interesting thing is he is in that one convo with the depressed guys, but i keep thinking him being in the background and not contributing to trash talking other people is made to show that as much as birdie has sunk in life, he's still a good guy. what do ya think abt this, sorry for long text
no no don't apologize
okay so i agree with you for the most part on the olan and mad dog thing! i would argue that mad dog being a dad is focused on in his bio in a way olan's fatherhood isn't-- his abuse and attitude towards his children makes up 3/4 of his bio after all-- but yeah, still not as much as birdie, considering literally every sentence of his bio either describes him as a single father, describes his children, or describes his grief over losing them. so i do agree that birdie is member whose role as a father was most important to his identity, and probably needed the least explanation
i do still think it's possible to miss that he's a dad-- i've mentioned once or twice that people pretty regularly claim there's no decent dads in lisa because they forget him, and i had a friend who admitted that he thought joey and jimmy were like, pals of his and that he was talking about missing friends since his dialogue just calls them "boys" and doesn't specify they're his kids-- but i can totally see austin and the other devs having the thought of like "the bio says everything about birdie as a dad that it needs to." i would have loved more, obviously, but i can begrudgingly admit that, y'know, i get it
your interpretation of the scene he DID get is cool though! my thought when i saw him in that scene is that it was a sort of meanspirited joke that he was the biggest "loser" in the party-- like yeah, these other losers will trash talk terry and gang up on percy, but birdie is so pathetic to them that they won't even acknowledge him-- but i really really like your interpretation. birdie is a mess in so many ways, but he's never cruel, and he's not resorting to purposefully bringing down others, and it would be cool if his inclusion in the scene was meant to show us that. yeah, he looks like a disaster, he's on his hands and knees and spitting up in a dark corner, but at least he's not joining the loser brigade and being unnecessarily nasty. maybe he's being left out and acting like a wreck, but he's the least loser-y guy in the group, and it says a lot that someone as messy and down-and-out as birdie walks away looking like the most dignified person there
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does anyone care I CARE
my cousin made me watch descendants w her again and those movies could have been sooo good if they cared at all
like the isle of the lost could have been a politically greedy landscape where malificent and jafar and other power hungry leaders led groups of villains with other deisres (mother gothel, evil queen, gaston etc). as their oldest children are nearing twenties, theres new players on the field.
how would evil queen who has sworn allegiance to maleficent have reacted to mother gothel providing her with the ability to stay young and beautiful forever? how would the two feel when their children became best friends?
and then the children, sent on missions for their parents. the seeds of allies, friends, rivals-- uma and mal, the enemies of the isle of the lost, and uma's best friend, harry dating mal??? oh give me a prequel of them before descendants PLEASE
not to mention how good that would make the payoff of descendants two??
(if you dont care about shipping scroll till you see HADES?? in really big bold text ok thanks)
and then when they get there, they don't throw the boys away as dumb plot devices but give them relationships and arcs and goals? i know, shocker, but tbf they represent women in every disney movie prior to 2009
kill off the fairy godmother's daughter dating carlos and mulan's daughter dating jay plotline i don't want it. let's bring in jay literally falling in love with gil BECAUSE IT IS REAL AND IT HAPPENS IN THE THIRD MOVIE I DONT KID
youtube
PLEASE WATCH THIS CLIP ITS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY
and carlos rip cameron boyce ❤️ i dont think he really had a personality but his fits were super solid
i dont want to talk about evie and the dwarf's son other than to say EVIE AND MAL WERE PERFECT
you can find me in the space between YEAH NOW DELETE THAT SPACE BETWEEN YOUR LIPS
and dont talk to me ab ben being left behind because he had uma and/or harry LIKE THATS THE LOVE TRIANGLE I WANT TO WATXH and i no longer feel weird ab wondering if that could have worked as a throuple vibe because riverdale did it w four people so i dont think anyone cares anymore. about anything
if youve never seen descendants and/or your very confused as to where these conclusions are coming from:
dove cameron says she ships evie and mal btw so haters can sit down
and honestly mal and uma work too like truly every ship that wasnt what they did worked so perfectly. and im not even putting a photo for them you and i both know they work
okay i swear this whole thing isnt just ship bait THERE IS MORE
one!
HADES???
why are YOU here? you are the god of the underworld, you have duties! the physics of this doesn't make sense because if hades is real, all gods are real, which means, well i don't know, can't the gods help remove him from this random island? can you imagine the beast trying to bring hades down to the isle of the lost, power struggle, and then finding out mal is his daughter BOOM PLOTLINE
and the beast is not that powerful! which brings me to my next point
why would ben have the beast's superpowers? the superpowers of the beast were a curse and removed. and why would the beast be the king of auradon? he's kind of useless. i think it would be cool and show that the heroes aren't perfect if other people wanted to rule
like not mulan or tiana thats out of character but maybe jasmine and aladdin or elsa and anna??
and where are all of these people from?? how can there be so many students if its js heroes? are there just a bunch of nobodies? why do we never see them this is honestly classist
and your telling me theres a dog but hes not related to the tens of disney dog movies that exist??? hes just some dog?? how can there js be some dog but no some humans?
and last. this is js. jay's adopted. look at him. search him up. he's not south asian, that boy is not related to jafar thanks
GOD, if a single producer there wanted to not just feed children mind numbing gunk in the shape of mid to did i mention songs and toys with dyed hair and a blindindly signature color, descendants could have gone down in history or at least to me as not just the show that killed off my beloved ever after high but a worthy opponent of it
also harry and gil kiss was cut
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one of my fav artists got called out for being a groomer/pedophile and i have mixed thoughts on it bc i don't Disbelieve it, im not defending her, but like not a single person has been able to show any evidence? Its all like "she was shitty to my friends" stuff. and part of the reason i don't disbelieve it is bc its very obvious that many other artists knew she was weird & havent been associates w/ her in years. certain people haven't ever collabed since the first time, whole groups of people dont follow her etc, so like shes probably a shitty person at the very least. but no one's shown a Single screenshot it's fucking insane. Literally nothing?
i saw someone say this and its like 2 years????? In 2 years you haven't found any Evidence??? Shes also not SECRETIVE about her different names, everyone knows they're her? except one acc which was made to be entirely separate from her music life. this just... Isnt weird to me. most music artists i like have 2+ projects, often times like 6+. and she only has had 5 so this isnt even that weird to me, it feels like grasping at straws
again i don't think shes completely innocent but i can't with a sound mind just.. instantly go against her when not a single person has given evidence??? Like they haven't even said 'she groomed a 15 year old 3 years ago", they just say 'shes groomed someone" like no details whatsoever??? Huh???????? Idfk like I just wish someone had like a fucking Screenshot dude there hasnt been a single screenshot or anything 😭😭😭😭 like if shes as malicious and serial of an abuser as everyone says why is there like nothing at all to show??????? Im so confused brah
this is also more of a personal matter 2 me now bc we have mutual friends. So like, if she really is a groomer/pedophile, i don't want my friends who know her to still support her yk. at first this felt like a "dog pile on a popular trans woman" schtick but pretty much everyone who's said she's weird is also a trans woman so im just like ok there's probably some merit to this? Can someone show some proof omg
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Hey malt um i see u posting about an anime on my dash and im getting into a lot of different anime to fill the homeless gay dog void um. Do you wanna tell me about your anime maybe?
OH DO I? finn my dear friend you dont even know what you're getting into here. reaching into the depths of my true form: main fandom brainrot.
okay given that im sasamiya posting rn im going to Assume you mean them but i was also posting about dunmeshi earlier so if you wanna hear about that too just let me know but AH. There is so much to sayyyy
Okay going to try and break it down to the basics here but sasamiya (or as its actual title, Sasaki to Miyano) is basically my mcu. my sasamiya-verse. there are two manga series currently ongoing in this universe but the world is in my hands and there are so many other fandom made one's i'll get into in a bit. But For Now.
Sasaki to Miyano's basic premise is- as copied from mdex because it really is worded best there- "It all started like a typical old-school boys’ love plotline—bad-boy senior meets adorably awkward underclassman, one of them falls in love, and so on and so forth. But although Miyano is a self-proclaimed boys’ love expert, he hasn’t quite realized…he’s in one himself. Which means it’s up to Sasaki to make sure their story has a happily ever after…!"
That's it. fun and simple and sweet gay love story set-up we love to see it. Except that it can never be so simple. Because the author, harusono shou, does this crazy thing called being a really good writer who creates beautifully alive characters for me to shake like maracas in my brain.
Like, you think it's simple. Miyano is a loveable bl fan who hasn't put much thought into his sexuality, Sasaki is the guy he successfully gets into his hyperfixation and they grow from that shared interest into an adorable relationship. But Then they hit you with the Miyano body insecurities and youre like hey, wait a minute. And then they caually show Sasaki displaying every single symptom of undiagnosed depression in his childhood and you have to stop and go hey... And then they have to have Hanzawa mother fucking Masato (lovingly said. absolute beloved character.) and you quickly realize that this isnt just some sweet romance story. it's a sweet romance story with the most quietly complicated character writing one only dreams of <- im biased and obsessed. may not be true to life but [shrugs] there is no one doing it like harusono and her thousands of words of character analysis that she has written about her own characters. i love her fr.
Im trying not to spoil things here really but it is genuinely such a lovely and interesting story, the light novels are literally my entire life, occasional side character Shirahama Kyouji is genuinely my favorite character and he probably has a total of 8 scenes in the translated manga so far. he was my blog theme for like 2 weeks straight earlier this year i am insufferable about him and everything he both is and isnt.
And that isn't even getting into Hirakagi. the agonies. Hirano to Kagiura, the technically prequel spin-off manga about sasaki's best friend and the gay shenanigans he gets up to with his roommate. they make me sob and also make me sick its great. could not reccomend it more even if you never read sasamiya or vice versa just one of them is such a great read.
The biggest appeal for me though is definately the fandom though. like i have been in So Many Fandoms as you can tell from the absolute chaos that is my blog, but ive probably only experienced this sort of fandom experience once before in my whole entire life. im so entrenched. the thing about being a, while popular, still very much a bl series that doesnt get much in terms of fan or official content, is that eventually something has to give. usually that means that the fandom is either dead or rarely gets talked about, which you would think to be true i you just looked at the main tags, but ive never been in a fandom that breathes to much... life?? into itself??? dont know how to word it. we make it work around here basically.
like after years of gaps between chapters we all collectively just went "okay how about we just do it ourselves" and essentially made the fandom into goncharov before there was ever a goncharov yk. like the actual story is really good and well done and then we all just went and made it our own to keep ourselves sane, and it worked!! we call it hanzawa to tashro!!! it is in our minds and also technically in the text. its so amazing here i cant even explain it well enough. my friends @/dirtbra1n @/aranarumei @/kagiuraakira and @/sunnnfish and so many others (we're all easy to find we stalk each other's blogs to talk about all of this) make awesome posts about it. #riverposting or #hanzawa to tashiro are good places to look if youre interested. i also talk about them A Lot over here to you can look through what I have too though a lot of it has like specific aus like #dating sim au and stuff tagged on mine, so the others are better bets for general meta posting fun. Just. Its so fun here. also if youve ever liked jeweler richard then shameless plug bc my dear friend kiri wrote the anomalous agate which is a beautiful and fun crossover with hanzawa to tashiro and tcfojr which is so so good if you're interested.
Just, there is a lot and this definately didn't cover it all. i want to explain riverposting but that takes Time and Context and also was explained before by sunnnfish on their blog im pretty sure (and they do amazing art over on @/sunnfish with 2 n's) if you ever feel like checking this all out. i love this place a lot.
#thanks for the ask<3333 pandora's box has been opened#sasamiya is an anime and movie and manga. hirakagi has a manga and short film. lots of cd dramas too its amazing.#let me know if you meant dunmeshi bc i have words about that too. so many. just let me know.#malt asks#finnified#beloved mutuals#hanzawa to tashiro#this is slightly bait for my stm/htk mutuals to look at my hanzawa masato tag too lots of good stuff in there i'd say#the best parts are the part we piece together from vague to clear implications sprinkled around canon like a trail of candy#malt rants#years of brainrot cannot be properly summed up here but this will do for now
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for the character thingy:
Tara
Emily
JJ
Regina/Evil Queen
No pressure to do all of them though if you don't want to ✌️
For Tara:
Why I like them: She's everything to me!!!! She's kind, strong, empathetic, emotionally intelligent, totally badass, and unbelievably hot. She's my wife and I love her. She's perfect. 10/10 no notes.
Why I don’t: I do not have an answer for this. I literally cannot think of a single reason not to like her!
Favorite episode (scene if movie): Ugh, it's impossible to pick just one! Either Mirror Image or False Flag.
Favorite season/movie: 13. It's a great season for her, and a great season for Temily.
Favorite line: When she refers to herself as "the woman behind the woman (Emily)." I take this as proof that Temily is canon.
Favorite outfit: GREEN DRESS 🥵
OTP: Temily
Brotp: Talvez (Luke and Tara)
Head Canon: She's a dog person, but has never actually owned a dog.
Unpopular opinion: This fandom's constant sidelining of Tara is deeply rooted in racism and misogyny. The only reason she's not as popular as other characters is because she's a Black woman.
A wish: I wish the fandom would stop treating her like a minor character!
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Her leaving the show
5 words to best describe them: The love of my life!
My nickname for them: Wifey💕
For Emily:
Why I like them: Lesbian with mommy issues who just wants to be accepted and loved. She's just like me fr! Also her growth as a character from season 2 to season 16 is absolutely beautiful to watch.
Why I don’t: I don't like fanon Emily. She's nothing like canon Emily.
Favorite episode (scene if movie): Demonology!!!!!!!
Favorite season/movie: Hmmm I might have to go with 16 because I love gray haired Section Chief Prentiss! I hate so, so much of Evolution, but for Emily purposes, it's an absolute masterpiece.
Favorite line: I have many, but "I've got a Glock leveled at your crotch" certainly stands out!
Favorite outfit: Cargo pants. Iconic lesbian wear.
OTP: Temily!!!!!!!
Brotp: Demily
Head Canon: Her parents divorced when she was in college, and even though she's not close with either of her parents, she has more of a relationship with her mother than with her father.
Unpopular opinion: Almost nobody in this fandom understands her or interprets her correctly. She is NOT a bumbling incompetent. She is NOT chaos personified. She is NOT comic relief. She would also never talk like a Gen Z TikToker. She's a middle-aged federal employee who excels at her job and has close, caring, mature relationships with the people she works with.
A wish: I wish people would stop butchering her character. This includes wishing they would stop shipping her with men.
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Hotchniss. Really any het Emily ship, but especially that one. It's an abomination.
5 words to best describe them: A lesbian for the lesbians!
My nickname for them: Other wifey💕
For JJ:
Why I like them: She's a deep, complex character with so much room for fandom exploration. Also pretty lady make lesbian brain go brrrr 😵💫😵💫😵💫
Why I don’t: I don't really like the direction her character took in later seasons, when she came back as a profiler. I love media liaison JJ, and I love Evolution JJ, but in seasons 7-15, she just doesn't do it for me like other CM women do.
Favorite episode (scene if movie): Hmmm probably North Mammon?
Favorite season/movie: 5 was a good look for her! I liked the bangs.
Favorite line: "It's not people, it's men."
Favorite outfit: Her Evolution crop top and leggings combo 🥵
OTP: I honestly don't know that I have one? I love Jemily and Jara, but I think Temily is endgame.
Brotp: JJ and Morgan!
Head Canon: If Henry had been a girl, JJ would have named her Rose, after Rosaline.
Unpopular opinion: Reid stans are way too hard on JJ, to the point of being misogynistic about their dislike of her character.
A wish: I wish the Jeid confession had never happened!
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Will becoming a main character on CM.
5 words to best describe them: too complex for this fandom😒😒
My nickname for them: I don't really have one
It's been sooooo long since I was in my SwanQueen era, so I don't think I can answer all of these for Regina, but I'll answer some!
Why I like them: Ummm...she's a morally gray milf? Literally what more do you need?
Favorite outfit: Her in suits 🥵🥵🥵
OTP: SwanQueen!!!!
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Wow what else is new I’m thinking about the a OrangeJuiceVerse again and Not Writing the completely unrelated story I’m working on ANYWAY!!!
OJV Stan is the ACTUAL sweetest boy on the planet and I WANNA TALK ABOUT HIS SOBRIETY!!!
Tw for alcoholism so it’s below the cut
I know I’m annoying abt ojv Stan’s sobriety, but it’s really, really important to me. I may have started the OrangeJuiceVerse because I saw this art of basketball Kyle and mascot Stan, but Broken Bottles From Apartment 2 is what actually solidified that au as an ongoing thing, and Stan’s sobriety is a cornerstone of that story.
As referenced in the aforementioned story, Stan stopped drinking at 25, and why? Because one day, a week or so after Kyle’s birthday, Stan had been off work and had been pulling from his secret bottle all day, and Kyle’s blood sugar hit a low. So Stan went to make him a KMBS (introduced here) BUT he was way drunker than he thought he was, and forgot how many ice cubes go in, and it hit him that if he was forgetting things like that, the drinking was a real problem.
Y’all it was SO bad Stan literally collapsed on the floor crying and Kyle’s like “dude dude WHAT what the fuck is it” meanwhile his dexcom is beeping and he fully forgot to eat at lunch bc work was busy so he’s also not doing well Stan is like “KY I DONT REMEMBER” they’re on the floor beside the fridge and Kyle is yanking it open and they’re sharing a bottle of Gatorade and Stan finally just spills EVERYTHING about how scared he is of his drinking habits, how like “yeah I know I’ll have a couple beers at night but it’s MORE than that” and Kyle is mentally REELING bc he didn’t think it was this bad, Stan is sobbing, Kyle is trying not to, Moose is curling his tiny cat body on Stan’s lap, they are all LITERALLY on the kitchen floor it’s the most heartbreaking scene you’ve ever witnessed.
And that night, Stan swears off alcohol. He dumps his vodka down the sink. He calls out of work and rides out the withdrawals over the next few days. A very freaked out Kyle is also calling out of his job to take care of him and he’s fucking terrified the whole time. But when Stan’s on the other side of the physical part? The self loathing tries to take him.
Kyle is fucking BEGGING him to go see one of his therapist friends, but Stan won’t do that, so Kyle’s like “okay it’s either that or we’re going to AA” and Stan picks AA bc even though he hates the idea of it (he went with his dad once when he was 9 and Randy Jackass Marsh got a dui) it feel less daunting than therapy.
And Stan winds up LOVING AA. Everyone at the local chapter is super chill. Ky goes with him the first few times, someone brought their dog, and this old man came up to him at the end, and they talked long after everyone had left Ye Olde Meetin Hall. Stan found his people in this group, despite being one of the youngest there, and that community is really important in his life. When he found out a few of them did an annual camping trip, that’s what really sold him on the whole thing.
So OrangeJuiceVerse Tweek comes into the picture abt 2 years after Stan stops drinking, and THAT was the thing that made me write BBFA2. Stan is THE support group king in the later OJV, and he just wants to help everyone, he’s Tweek’s sponsor, when they hit meetings it’s so kickass fuck I love them. The old geezers at the group are so fucking funny too, Tweek was terrified but stan told them they gotta chill out before he brought twerk.
Moose regularly comes to meetings and is a huge hit, they do a Birthday Night potluck every month (stan gets made fun of for not eating meat), and there’s not a single actually judgemental person there. Like Stan and Tweek are both in long term relationships with other men, and they’re in assfucknowhere Colorado, but the ONE homophobic asshole got put in his place REAL fast by everyone else there. When Tweek showed some people a pic of his husband the middle aged lady beside him at the table was like DAMN SWEETIE that’s one handsome man! Lmfao I gotta write a snippet of the ojverse aa group.
Stan and his sponsor RULE the group!!! They both have this charismatic energy and the old guy (his name is mark) is actually so cool, Stan may have been skeptical abt aa at first, but later down the line he’s showing up super early to hang with Mark and he’s greeting newcomers
Dude I’m crying abt Support Group King Staniel again
#bruh#this was completely unprompted but#STAN#MY BOY!!!#I fucking love OJV Stan#south park#lmm voice: look at my son#my shit#no one asked#but#headcanon#tw alcohol#THE aa king#OrangeJuiceVerse
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i feel like this is something i can’t post in my channel with friends, but i need to vent
well, if i had made this post two or even one month ago i would have written ‘i fucked up’ as i said i hoped i wouldn’t in my “goodbye post”
but times go by and you start realizing that you were fucking abused and i’m not talking about physical/sexual harm and i havent been degraded (i mean only when i wanted to if you remember thematics of my blog). STRAIGHTLY. now i know what gaslight is first-hand.
i dont want to tell the full story here, just imagine situation when you have to overthink and rethink your every phrase several times before saying it with your partner. or feeling such a miserable person you have to visit therapists and stopping yourself from jumping under the train from thinking that you are a burden. i mean, yes, many people (sadly) experience this, BUT IMAGINE it all disappears right after you break up.
you feel like absolute shit and cry all the time, but when ‘should i kill myself?’-thought crosses your mind it doesnt stay even for a second. like, nah, i dont want to. i dont need to work on this, i just dont think that way
we broke up two months ago and i still feel broken. i tried to meet new people and they do like me and in two days they may treat me better than my ex in 5 months… but i just cant feel anything. they can be hell of a gentleman, get me flowers and coffee, shower me with kind words and we can have a great funny convo about lots of our common interests. but i come home and remember our first ‘date’ and cry. and i dont even cry like CRY, i just try to fall asleep while tears are going down my face. and we talk, meet again. but i feel nothing like i used to.
and i just saw a reels (99% of my feed actually) with a biker, but it was a special one for an unknown reason. i felt summer air. and felt how i want short nights, ‘white’ nights of petersburg, green, motorcycles on streets. and i miss..maybe what pops up in my mind a lot.. when it was “well i wanted to meet with you and i still do, so if you want it too…” “i do” “then what?” “finish your uni task, i’m ordering you a taxi” after he fell asleep when we were supposed to meet and not “what time should i come over?” *no respond* “i wont” “okay” and then blaming me in making scenes and saying “instead of this we could have a talk in discord, or you could be here and play with my dog or we could watch something, but no, you preferred making drama” when i did not make any. well, instead of acting like a jerk for whom i dont exist as well as my feelings, YOU could invite me for real, show me that you wanted me there or offer talking in disco.
no, i was guilty for everything. when this person was guilty - it was my fault. every single time
its just such a person. i dont know if all he has done was on purpose or not. i am not sure if i want to know. but he is probably too smart not to know what exactly he was doing
there is no single day i dont think about him and in my mind i just cant let him go. all that feeling like he is one of a kind. and connection. unhealthy, but connection
there is no abuse without good moments. and such moments make you think maybe if you did something slightly different… if you swallowed such treatment that time… understood him better this time…. but then you open your chat and read how he treats you like literal SHIT and it just hits you hard like a truck
i am deeply hurt. i am a person you should not meet and fall in love with right now. right now i can cause only pain, but im not a sick sadist, i dont enjoy it. but i understood i need to give myself time to heal. not to try meeting new people that would replace him. and for sure not to try to get him back. however, i dont know jf i will follow these words. hopefully.
and when i get free from this, i will meet my dream motorcyclist husband-material. maybe gym rat. maybe scott pilgrim type of nerd. hopefully somebody… kinder. more empathetic. and mature for relationship.
peace
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get to know me ask game
Aahhh Ive been tagged! Thank you @cryingatships and @airenyah for tagging me, im super slow at this so sorry!
RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it (nah i wont but everyone feel free to do this if you see it!)
APPEARANCE
blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings (5. four earpiercing, one nostril) // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair (red, purple, at the moment veery washed out tho) // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile// I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas (i dont wear any brands I think..) // I wear baseball hats backwards
HOBBIES & TALENTS
I play a sport // I can play an instrument (3 actually.) // I am artistic (kinda i guess) // I know more than one language (some better, some worse but …) // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami// I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing// I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand
RELATIONSHIP
I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years (nearly 20 it is.)// my parents are together// I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I had a long distance relationship // I am an only child (so many siblings.) // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online
AESTHETICS
I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn Summer Spring is my favorite season
MISCELLANEOUS
I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower (but everywhere else...) // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs
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