#there are. checks notes. three references in the lyrics here. maybe more i forgot about
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sp1resong · 10 hours ago
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thylacine song. yeah. uh. i think i'll want to do some sort of instrumental for this one eventually, at which point i would like to upload it to youtube, however for the moment i do not feel like battling my keyboard and thus. instrumen't
(lyrics under the cut)
benjamin
i hope you know we're sorry though that cannot make it right i hope you know, we miss you so; your eyes, your jaws, your stripes
we eulogize your lot in life as though we did not hold the knife we have realized our sins, our lies too late to make it right
we are heir to our selfishness, our violence of old and you? you will never have any heirs at all.
our heart becomes a cemetery (guess i'll see you around) i leave to thee my ghost to carry (in memoriam; aloud) and all my hallowed bones to bury (somewhere deep underground) as once we buried all thy kin alive
thy memory in black-and-white is all that's left to see how is it i can meet thy gaze? a ghost behind the screen
i wish I could apologize for this bitter tragedy i hear thee scream in patterned light, "there are none after me."
our souls become a cemetery (blood spilt on hallowed ground) i gift to thee my heart to carry (one last meal in your mouth) and all my hollow bones to bury (never to be found) as once we buried thy legacy alive
can you hear me where you are? somewhere high above the stars or in the furthest corners of national parks are you so close, and yet so far? are you, then, lost forevermore? a century separates us two and yet, some still believe in you and god, i really hope it's true - but as it stands, when there's no proof…
i swear to thee, thy heart i'll carry (no memory, no sound) and all thy weary bones i'll bury (where you never need be found) with just enough to pay the ferry… (your pelt becomes a shroud) i'm sorry, my old friend, goodnight, goodbye
so rest now, all alone you are, here at your end of days there's nothing you or i can do- too little, too late!
and when your ghost has gone to ground i'll sit down by your grave and pray when they pen your eumony they'll mourn, they'll speak your name
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aspenflower17 · 4 years ago
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Finding You (Part Fourteen of ??)
Hey everyone! I hope you’re all having a good New Year so far! I have a bit of an update after the chapter for y’all.
Edit: Oop! I forgot the link to Part One for any new people! My bad!
Tags (ily all!):  @simpingforsatan @naimena @hachimochi @wrathandgreed @magi-minminxiii @rensphilia @a-dream-at-night @chloelikesobeyme @getbehindme-satan @theuglypugling @oofthelazyweeb @mammonismyfirstman (as always, if you’d like to be put on the tags list, juust let me know in a comment down below, or a DM)
Word Count: 1,961
TW: None? I’m pretty sure?
Mc didn’t know what she was expecting from the song Satan’s brothers pressured him to play, but a gorgeous melancholic love song was not it, though she should have guessed it was a love song from the title. She was entranced from the first couple notes, and the lyrics pulled her in further. They spoke of someone experiencing love for the first time, though they were afraid of their Love fading away and leaving them. She smiled at the cat lyrics, finding herself not surprised Satan would write about them. He seemed like a cat lover, though she had no real basis for the belief.
 Satan’s singing voice was just as nice as his speaking voice and she found herself impressed. It also held a lot of emotion, enough that she was surprised it didn’t affect his singing. Though she had never heard the song before, it seemed extremely familiar. Though, it was a fairly universal concept, so it probably just seemed she’d heard it before. She hadn’t realized she was crying until Mammon offered her a handkerchief. When he finished, everyone clapped, and he started on another song.
“I never thought I’d hear tha’ song again,” Mammon spoke to Mc in a low voice.
“Why?” she asked.
“Oh… Uhhh… Well, it’s about a lost love of his. Once she… disappeared… He played it one more time and then said he’d never play it again.” 
Mc felt her throat constrict a bit at the revelation, “He must be doing better then. When he got his next… lover, he probably started feeling better.”
“He… Uhhh... '' Mammon floundered for words, and Mc found herself eagerly awaiting his next words, “I don’ think he’s dated anyone before or since her. If nothin’ else, she is his firs’ and only love.”
“Did she hurt him?”
“Huh?”
“I just ask because I’ve seen a lot of people, well, humans, who had relationships go sour and closed themselves off emotionally. I was just wondering if that’s what happened to him.”
“Not… Not exactly… She was human and she… died…” Mammon seemed really anxious at this point, and Mc decided not to push the subject further.
A human? Really? Well, that adds another layer to the song. It’s the most permanent level of “leave” there is. He knew going into the relationship it would end. But… If she had been corrupted enough by him, wouldn’t she have gone to the Devildom? Then they could’ve been together… Does that mean she went to the Celestial Realm? Do I know her? Or… Did she get stuck as a wanderer? Either way, why would he play it now? Mammon said he’d sworn off playing it ever again… The questions swirled around in her head as she watched Satan play.
“Ooooo! Ooooo! My turn!”
“Asmo, you can’t play piano,” Satan sighed, already getting up.
“But I can play music off of my DDD now can’t I?” Asmodeus said, waltzing up to what had become a stage.
As Asmo scrolled through what Mc could only assume was his list of songs, Satan came and stood next to her. Mammon even moved over so he could. Mc gave him a small smile and then turned her attention back to Asmodeus, who was gushing about the song he’d found to sing. She was still thinking about all the unanswered questions she had when she felt a breath next to her ear “What did you think?”
Mc almost jumped, but instead found herself glued to her chair, “Of the song? Or your singing?”
“Hmmm… Both.”
“You play and sing wonderfully. The song was beautiful. I could really feel your emotions.”
“Thank you,” Mc felt Satan retreat back to a standing position, and she found she missed his presence.
A huff from the other side of the room caught her attention. Looking over, she caught the tailend of Michael watching Satan with narrowed eyes before turning back to Asmodeus. How strange.
When Asmodeus finished, Lucifer was both begged and forced to play by those in the room. While Mc had to admit he was definitely in a league all his own, she found herself preferring Satan’s playing to Lucifer’s. She cocked her head slightly at the realization.
“Excellent Lucifer! Just exquisite!” Diavolo boomed, giving the Avatar of Pride a standing ovation, “I can’t remember the last time I heard you play!”
“Well, it has been awhile,” Lucifer smiled. His pride seemed to have recovered enough he could properly interact with people again. Mc was happy she was able to avert a crisis, not interested in finding out how a brawl between Michael and Lucifer would go. Though… Would either of them actually get into a physical altercation?...
Mc was so caught up in her thoughts, she didn’t realize the brothers were leaving until they were all asking if she would come to the House of Lamentation at some point.
“... And I would love to paint your nails,” Asmo prattled on, grabbing her hands, “And I know the Devildom’s lack of light can make your skin lose some of its radiance, but I have a moisturizer that can help with that. Oh and-”
“Asmo, come on! Ya want Mc to come visit or not?” Mammon interrupted,
“Mammon, you don’t understand the nuances of keeping yourself looking perfect.”
“Uh, yes. I do. I’m a model. Ya been smellin’ too many of ya fancy products and it’s melted ya brain?”
“I think you’re thinking of yourself, though it was probably when you were trying to con those witches into buying acid, and you drank some.”
“Oi! How do ya know about that?”
“Ugh, there they go again,” a head rested itself on Mc’s shoulder, and she almost jumped until she saw who it was, “Seriously though Mc. You should come over.”
“Yeah. You’re even welcome to bring Luke,” the one brother who she hadn’t talked to added, “Barbatos told me he’s gotten even better at baking.”
“Of course I’ve gotten better at baking! I’m also very good at cooking too,” Luke said, having joined the conversation.
Mc watched at Beelzebub, which is who she figured he must be through the process of elimination, actually started drooling, “Does that mean you’re actually going to come over then?”
Luke smiled fondly, a look Mc wasn’t sure she’d have ever thought he could have for a demon, “If you’d like Beel, I could probably make that happen.”
Beel rushed over to Luke and pulled him into a huge hug. Belphegor removed himself from Mc, walking over to Beelzebub, “Beel, you need to let go of the chihuahua or he’s going to suffocate. Luke can’t make you food if he’s been squished.”
“I’m sorry. I hope these idiots haven’t been bothering you too much.”
“Not at all Lucifer. They were just inviting me over sometime.”
“Well, I suppose it’s time for us to head out,” Lucifer said, starting to gather his brothers.
“You are welcome anytime you want to come over,” Satan’s voice came from behind her.
“I… Thanks. I would really like that.”
“Satan! We’re leaving.”
“I’m coming Lucifer,” Satan called, rolling his eyes, then back to Mc with a smile, “Bye.”
“Bye,” Mc called after him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mc sat in her room hours later, the events of the evening still running through her head. Though she knew Michael wouldn’t approve, she found herself much more at ease and even happier around them than she did around most angels. There was a non-judgmental kindness they all exuded (well, all except Lucifer) that made her feel like she belonged. She found herself excited about the prospect of spending more time with them at the House of Lamentation. She had to laugh a bit, the fact she didn’t fit in with the rest of the angels never more clear than it was now. 
Simeon had told her his time in the Devildom had been extremely enjoyable, the less structured lifestyles if the Devildom a welcome change from the Celestial Realm. She had read his work from that time and it was obvious he had felt a lot more creative in the Devildom, even though he had school responsibilities at the time. While she hadn’t doubted his words, she had always figured the change was mostly due to the fact he had been able to communicate with his lost brothers again. Now she understood what he had been talking about. 
Simeon generally gets along with the other angels too. What would they all say if they found out I prefer the company of the Fallen to them? Everything is just more natural with them. It’s almost like I already know who they are, as strange as that sounds. Especially Satan, though I’ve felt connected to him since I got his letter. Speaking of which, who was it that he mentioned? Lil… Lilly? Lillah? Lillian? Hmmm… I can’t remember. I do know I’ve never heard that name before. Whoever it was seemed to have a great impact on all of the brothers. It can’t be someone they Fell with. I’ve read all the literature about the Fall and I don’t recognize the name. Though there’s a lot about the Fall the Celestial Realm doesn’t talk about. But... Simeon’s also never mentioned anyone with that name before… Maybe it’s time for me to do some more research.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mc stretched, and checked the time on her DDD. She had been in Diavolo’s personal library for over three hours, and she still hadn’t found any mention of the mysterious “L” person. She found plenty of references to Lucifer though. It seemed he and his brothers had been instrumental in helping Diavolo establish order when the old King had started his slumber. What caused this slumber, why it happened, or if it would end was not covered. Mc wanted to research the topic further, but she couldn’t get distracted until she had answered her initial question.
There was a knock at the door, and Barbatos came in carrying a teacup on a saucer, “I thought you might be in here.”
“Oh, hello Barbatos.”
The butler entered the room, and set the tea down on the table Mc was studying at, “I thought you might like some tea.”
“I would actually, thank you. If you would like to, you can take a seat.”
“I suppose that’d be alright,” Barbatos smiled, and sat down in a chair. His eyes glided across the books strewn around Mc, “You’ve got some heavy reading here.”
“Well, I’m trying to figure something out,” Mc sighed, sipping her tea.
“Perhaps I can be of assistance?”
“Maybe, though I don’t remember what it is I’m looking for exactly,” Barbatos simply cocked his head slightly until she continued, “Satan was telling about… Well, a personal experience, and he mentioned someone. I don’t remember their name, but it was someone very close to all the brothers and they had passed away. I was just trying to figure out who it was.”
“You seem very interested in this person,” Barbatos’ tone wasn’t accusatory, but he seemed to expect and answer.
“... I guess I’m just trying to understand them better. Him better,” The last part slipped from Mc’s mouth easily, surprising even her.
“I think I may know who you’re talking about. If I’m correct, you won’t find any references to her in these books. It’s not my place to explain the situation to you however. You should probably go speak with the brothers about her…” the butler paused for a second before continuing, “I believe Michael also knows a lot about the situation, though he doesn’t know the full story,” with that, he got up and pushed his chair in, “I must continue with my duties, but I appreciate the short reprieve. Good night.”
“Night,” Mc called after him. Huh. Michael knows?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part Fifteen
 I wanted to let you all know that as it is January, ever since 2014 the first moth of the year has been terrible for me. So far, we are 3 days into 2021, and I have already gotten a near constant tooth ache meaning I’m going to have to go to the dentist, and have gotten sick. I don’t know what else this month has in store for me, but I just wanted to warn you all, if my updates get sporadic or short, that’s why 😬 
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lenniewip · 5 years ago
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Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)
11.09 PM Unknown Number
>I’m writing songs about you again.
11.20 PM Unknown Number
>its stiles btw.
>in case you deleted my number
>I did.
>I mean I deleted yours.
>but I still remember it apparently
11:41 PM Unknown Number
>I only have 2 lines so far
11:57 PM Unknown Number
>I bleed you from my veins.
>I grieve you like I love you.
>alone.
>its better with the chords.
>u were always better at writing lyrics than me
12:34 AM Unknown Number
>u were better everything than me
2:00 AM Unknown Number
>I hate that I miss you
2:07 AM Unknown Number
>do u want to hook up?
>I promise not to propose again
2:15 AM Unknown Number
>im sorry.
>ignore me.
>im drinking
Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.
What the hell is a Stiles?
2:17 AM Unknown Number
<I think you have the wrong number
>Lydia?
<no
>oh thank fuck
>I mean
>I’m sorry
>for disturbing ur sleep
>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this
>bullet dodged right?
>is this what near death experiences feel like?
<I wouldn’t know.
>of course
>hey
>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?
>all my friends are asleep
<probably because its 3am
<everyone’s asleep
>2.39
>and ur not
>asleep that is
>so?
>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead
>what do you think?
>of the lyrics
<im the wrong person to ask
>never experienced heartbreak?
<no
<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me
>oh
>yeah I guess it does
>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?
<do you want to be rupi kaur?
>sure
>not to be dramatic or anything
>but
>I want to be anyone but me
>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho
<regina spektor?
>singer/song writer
>shes my fucking inspiration
>her lyrics are like poetry to me
>you should listen to her music
<I dont really listen to music
>what the fuck?
>are you an alien?
<no?
>nice fucking try ET
>thats exactly what an alien would say
<…you got me there
>akdjfen
>is this you admitting I was right?
<no
<but this is me going to bed
<because its now 4AM
>already?
>fuck
>ive got an early start tomorrow
>good night random stranger
>and thanks
>for listening
>or reading ig
<good night
//
“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.
“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.
Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.
“Didn’t sleep well.”
Derek hated the look she gave him then.
The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.
“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.
“No.”
An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.
Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.
But this was enough.
It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.
//
2:40 PM Laura
>I’m here if you need to talk.
//
Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.
So instead he doodles.
Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.
Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.
But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.
//
10:18 PM Unknown Number
>I don’t remember it anymore
<You have the wrong number again
>No
>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?
<right
>So here’s the thing.
>I always thought if I needed to text her I could
>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk
>But I can’t remember it anymore
<Oh.
>I have some of her things still
>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now
>Unless she messages me first
<When did you two break up?
>Last year
>and I know what you’re thinking
>’it’s October’
>and I should be over her by now
>Trust me I know
>So you don’t need to lecture me
<I wasn’t going to
>Oh
<Stiles?
>That’s weird
<what is?
>I forgot I told you my name
<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.
>you’re right
>I don’t like it.
>but you’re right
>…thanks
<What for?
>for listening
>reading**
>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain
>so this is nice
<sure
<anytime
>dope
>no take backsies
<am I going to regret this?
>for definite
>you’re stuck with me now
//
That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.
//
Stiles keeps messaging after that.
Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.
Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.
He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.
//
Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.
He’s not above admitting he’s scared.
//
Derek draws Stiles sometimes.
More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.
Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.
The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.
//
They don’t always talk about Lydia.
Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.
Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.
Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.
Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.
And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.
//
2:02 AM Bad Poet
>sometimes I feel like too much
>and too little
>at the same time
>u ever feel like that ET?
<not really
>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless
>like a never ending echo
>or a recurring decimal
>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it
>I have no depth
<youre not meaningless
<you’re a rhythm.
<like breathing
>…
>was that a regina spektor reference?
<it might have been
>I thought you didn’t listen to music?
<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry
<so I thought I would check out a few songs
>well fuck
>what did you think?
<she’s good
>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong
<I still prefer poetry
>of course you do
Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.
Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.
//
10:30AM Bad Poet
<my sister bought me flower seeds
>I didn’t know you had a sister?
<she’s everything I have
>oh
<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow
>…with flower seeds?
<yes
>you sound extremely paranoid
>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?
<shut up
>noted.
>keep me posted on how your gardening goes
>also
>as a side note
>you know you have me too right?
>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you
<thanks
>anytime
//
On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.
She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.
Once their family had been so alive.
And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.
They both knew it.
Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.
He was too scared to ask.
//
That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.
And then several more followed.
//
1:14 AM Bad Poet
<seh haars me
>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again
>try spell checking before hitting send
<she.hates mee
>who?
<larn
>are you drunk?
<yeh
<tyongs ndrf
*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*
The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.
“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”
“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”
“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”
“Laura.”
“Who’s Laura?”
“My sister.”
“Oh.”
“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”
“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”
“She should. I can’t be fixed.”
“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”
Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.
“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”
Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.
“What?”
“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”
“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”
Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”
“Th-thanks.”
Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.
Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.
“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”
“Yeah.” Derek agrees.
“Goodnight bud.”
“Wait.”
“Yeah?”
“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.
I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.
“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
“Thank you.”
Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.
“Stiles?”
Stiles hummed in answer.
“Your shape is beautiful too.”
A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”
//
7:50 AM Bad Poet
>how are you feeling today?
<better
>good <3
Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.
He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.
But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.
Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.
But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.
//
Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.
//
9:48 PM Bad Poet
>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?
>don’t feel like you need to say yes
>I just enjoyed talking to you
>and hearing your voice
>ugh.
>why are words so hard?
<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call
*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*
“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.
“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.
Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”
“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.
“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”
“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.
“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”
Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.
“It’s Derek.”
“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.
And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.
//
Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.
//
The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.
The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.
6:42 AM Bad Poet
>you need to talk to your sister
And Derek knows he’s right.
//
It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.
But he forces himself to take the dive.
“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.
Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”
“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.
If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.
If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…
There never would have been a fire.
Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.
“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”
“I might as well have.”
“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”
The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.
He found himself crying to.
“I’m so sorry, Der.”
Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.
They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.
//
He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.
He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.
“Hello?”
“No - Derek’s asleep.”
“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”
“Who is this?”
“Your voice sounds familiar.”
“Right.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Derek let sleep over take him once more.
//
2:29 AM Bad Poet
>sorry for calling so late
>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow
//
9:07 AM Bad Poet
<sorry, I was really tried
>no worries man
>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me
<was something wrong?
>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten
>im fine
>how are you?
<im good actually
<I spoke to Laura
>yeah?
>I’m proud of you
>how’d that go?
<we both cried
<a lot
<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch
>look at you, opening up and shit.
>think I might cry now
<shut up
>literally never
>better men have tried and failed to silence me
//
2:40 PM Laura
>Want to see a movie on Friday?
<sure
//
One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.
“Duhreek.”
“Doreck.”
“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”
“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.
“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.
Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.
“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.
He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.
“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”
//
Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.
//
He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.
He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.
He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.
He wants.
//
1:58 AM Bad Poet
>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?
>maybe not intentionally
>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know
>maybe we already have
Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.
<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?
<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you
>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)
<I think id still know
<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?
<of me
>dkfajd
>for reals?
>you would do that?
>you?
<well…not for free
>there’s always a catch
>what do you want?
>my soul?
>a blood debt?
>you can have whatever it is
<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too
<geez stiles
The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.
>I could do that
>a photo for a photo
>I kind of look like shit rn
>so no judging me
Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.
And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.
But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.
He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.
As he pressed send another photo came in.
Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.
His heart stopped.
Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.
But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.
>Fucking hell
>are you for real?
>you gave me a heart attack
>am I being catfished right now?
>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?
>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?
>Derek
>oh my god
>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit
>still there?
>did my selfie scare you away?
>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis
>Derek?
<still here
>of thank fuck
>so…
<so?
>come on
>your going to give me a complex
>the selfie…was it okay?
>I know it’s not much
>but we can’t all be greek gods
<its beautiful
<you’re beautiful, stiles
>oh
>thanks
//
Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.
//
9:49 AM Bad Poet
<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend
<this is all your fault
>how is this my fault?
<because she never wanted to introduce us before
<and then you got me to talk to my sister
<and now she wants me to meet him
>…and this is a bad thing?
<yes
>because?
<I don’t make good first impressions
<it’s going to be awkward
>yeah probably
<you’re not helpful
>I wasn’t trying to be ;)
>have fun, Derek!
//
Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.
Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.
But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.
Maybe not all change was bad.
//
Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.
“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”
“I know.”
God did Derek ever know.
But Stiles is different.
“Just…be careful.”
“I am being. I promise.”
Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”
“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”
“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”
Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.
//
Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.
‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.
A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.
//
It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.
She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.
“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.
“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.
“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.
It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.
Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”
Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.
No.
She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…
“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”
“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.
“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”
Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.
“It’s him.” He manages to get out.
“What are you talking about?”
“Laura. It’s him.”
It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.
“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”
“What?”
“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”
And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…
The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.
And it all falls apart.
//
It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.
11:08 PM Bad Poet
<you’re stiles stilinki
>fuck
(And yeah, it was really him).
>how did you find out?
<Laura
>I was going to tell you
<Were you?
>Yes
>I’ve wanted to for ages
>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up
<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner
>Me too
>I’m sorry
>Please don’t hate me
Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.
<I don’t
>Thank fuck
>seriously
>can I call you?
<sure
Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.
“Hey.”
“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.
“I believe you, Stiles.”
“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”
“Stiles.”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.
“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.
“What?”
“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”
“Stiles…”
“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”
Derek feels his heart break in two.
“Stiles…I can’t.”
“Oh.”
He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.
“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.
“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”
I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.
There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.
It was better for him to just… fall out of love.
//
6:17AM Laura
<it’s really him
>are you sure
<I’m sure
>what are you going to do?
<nothing
>Derek you’re in love with him
<I’m aware
<it doesn’t matter
<it wouldn’t ever work
>I’m sorry
<don’t be
<I’m going to be fine
>Im coming over with wine
//
That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.
When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.
//
He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.
Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.
He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.
//
He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.
It’s still not enough.
//
1:11 PM Bad Poet
>I wrote you a song
>I know you don’t listen to music
>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link
>bad poetry at 2:00am
The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.
“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”
The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.
When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.
He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ��get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.
//
3:00 PM Laura
>have you seen the video?
<he sent me a link
<he wrote a song for me Laura
<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me
>fuck
<what do I do?
>what do you want to do?
<I don’t know
>I think you should look at his twitter
<?
>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him
>but I think you need to see it
>@stilesstilinki
//
@stilesstilinski
I want to hug him
@stilesstilinski
Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything
@stilesstilinski
Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.
@stilesstilinski
He makes me want to write poetry
Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.
He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.
And Derek falls impossibly more in love.
He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.
And everything else?
It’s worth it.
Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.
//
2:00 AM Bad Poet
<so I looked at your twitter
>fuck.
>how much did you see?
<all of it
>tight
>please excuse me while I go die now
>bye
<don’t leave yet
<I had something I wanted to ask you
>did you want me to delete the tweets?
>I can do that
>I’ll just delete the whole account
>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem
>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy
>but I’m a close second
<stiles?
>yup?
<Will you go on a date with me?
>alkdjf
>yes?
>Ofc yes?
>are you being serious?
>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious
<I’m serious
>yes.
>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.
>holy shit
>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you
>im so fucking in love with you
>is it too soon to say that?
>I don’t even care
>I’m speaking my truth
>you obviously don’t have to say it back
>im going to woo you so hard Derek
>you’ll have to love me back eventually
>I’m going to write you poetry
>hell I’ll even read poetry for you
>ill give the whole fucking moon to you
<why would I want the moon?
<im not gru?
>despicable me
>that was a despicable me reference.
>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?
>you’re such an enigma to me Derek
>god I love you so much
<stiles?
>too much?
<no
<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you
<I love you too stiles
<so much
<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up
<I might not be able to live up to it in real life
>impossible
<seriously stiles
>I am being serious
>I’m already in love with you Der
>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done
>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all
>and I would still be in love with you
>all you have to do now is show up
<…I can do that
>perfect
//
TWO YEARS LATER
@stilesstilinski
Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.
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preface2adreamplay · 5 years ago
Text
Under Your Spell (Part 10) - Ashes On My Shoes
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Summary: A Jared Padalecki/OFC fiction.
Stef is a musician, recently gone solo. Happy with her life as a forever single person until Jared makes it his mission to get close to her. (For the purpose of this fiction, I have liberated some lyrics from various artists and their videos. This is fiction, with real people mentioned.)
Chapter warnings: Flirting, swearing. 
Chapter WC: 2,458
The night of the Texas show was here. Stef was always nervous for every gig, why wouldn’t she be? There were a hundred and one ways that things could go sideways. Most of them had already happened during her career. But Jared would be at this show. He had text her to say he was incoming, ’With the boys.’ She assumed Jensen would be joining him. 
The bus was parked up next to the venue, the first of bands that were playing with them had started their set. Stef was already dressed for the stage, usually she kept it simple enough but tonight she made a special effort to be a little more flamboyant. Claire had helped her put together this flowing ensemble. A dress with a plunging neckline that just about reached to her navel, long sleeves and a train of black and silver material that followed her around as she walked. It was a flirty, Morticia Addams inspired dress with a slit up the front that came up to her knees. When she moved it dragged behind her, showing off her long legs. 
The legs that Jared had kissed and ran his fingers up and down teasingly the last time they were together. He said he loved her legs. She loved them when they were wrapped around his waist.
‘Focus, Stef.’ she scolded herself in the hand held mirror she used to put on her make up. 
Just then her tour manager pulled open the door, shouting ‘you decent?’
‘Yeah, come on in,’ Stef had one more coat of mascara to do and she was done.
‘Wow, you look great. You going on a date afterwards?’ Jeff was cool, he was a friend from years back, from the beginning. Always a good guy to have with you on tour. You needed a snack at 3am, he got it. You needed a replacement guitar string before you ran on stage, he had it ready. 
‘Maybe.’
Jeff carried on with his checklist, talking to himself more than to her.
‘Your stuff is on stage, the band are hanging in the waiting room. You staying on the bus?’ 
‘Nah, I’m going to go in now.’
‘Just so you know there are some fans at the gate, waiting for you.’
There were always a few people hanging around the venue before her shows. The first time she got off a bus with people shouting her name was definitely one of the highlights of the business for her. They were the reason why she still did shows. Her fans were always hungry for more music.
Recognising a few of the faces in the crowd, Stef hung with them for a few minutes.
They were complimentary about her ‘new style,’ asking if it was for the new album.
She agreed, butterflies nesting in her stomach again at the thought that she had made this effort just for Jared. What had become of her?
Smiling and doing her best poses with the fans, she waved them goodbye. Promising to give them a shoutout from the stage.
The venue was packed. Though she put that down to the most excellent support acts that were with her. Slipping into the backstage area through the rear entrance, she noticed her band mates were rowdy. 
‘What is it about the Texas crowds that get you guys so wound up?’ She laughed, watching the empty mini bottles of Jager tumble down from their ludicrous game of dominoes. 
‘What is it about Texas that’s got you looking like that?’ Evan queried, the boys wolf whistled. 
‘Settle down.’ She scolded. Forever the mother. These guys had been around nearly as long as Jeff. She found them all adorable and annoying, referring to them as her ‘hairy ass babies.’
Curing her nerves with two glasses of whiskey, she saw the second support act coming backstage, sweaty and loud. 
They’d be up next. 
Jeff appeared again, ‘Hey Stef, c’mere.’ 
‘Your friends just arrived,’ he said in a hushed tone, nodding his head towards Jared and Jensen. Misha stepped out from behind the two taller men and waved energetically. ‘Hey!’ he called across the corridor at her.
Stef ushered them into the room. Giving Jensen and Jared a hug and a kiss on both cheeks. Jared was smiling from ear to ear, but said nothing.
‘Hey hot momma,’ Jensen tried to keep a straight face, glancing at Jared. ‘Can’t wait for the show. We brought this idiot, he loves your music too.’
‘I’m a new fan.’ Misha pulled her into a tight hug. ‘Not as big a fan as Jared, but I still love your stuff.’ 
Misha seemed to be a guy you could instantly like. Stef patted him on the back, letting him know that the hug was done. 
’Sorry, I’m excited to meet you. Jared talks about you non stop.’
‘Do I?’ Jared was looking at Stef, taking her in, his eyes pausing on all the right places of the dress. 
‘You do, actually.’ Jensen clapped his friend on the back. ‘Come on, let’s get ready for this show then.’ He gave Misha a playful push out the door and threw Jared a look that said ‘hurry up.’
When they had disappeared, Jeff pointing the way up to the box Stef had booked for them, Jared was still standing over her. ‘You look beautiful.’
She could feel herself getting a little bashful. ‘Thank you,’ she replied, deciding it was best to just say it rather than pass it off as ‘this old thing?’
‘Good luck, I can’t wait to see you play.’ He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips. That surprised her, she didn’t think he wanted to advertise that they were somewhat ‘together.’ 
‘I can’t wait to play for you.’ Stef smiled, giving his chin a little tug. 
‘You got about five minutes,’ Jeff came back and took Jared by the arm, leading him out of the door. 
With the lights glaring into her face, she could never see the crowd. That often helped with her nerves. Being up there made her feel so vulnerable, that was why she loved doing it so much. It was like therapy, pouring her heart out into the songs and letting them take over. The crowd were waiting impatiently when the lights went down. It was her cue to walk on stage. The guys were at their instruments, playing the intro to the new single. Stef reached the mic as the beat kicked in, her words flowing easily. Everything sounded right. In the moment, she forgot everyone around her. Forgot about Jared sitting forward in his seat taking in the show, watching her move with the music, doubled over when the high notes required it. 
There was little time to chat between songs, Stef preferred it that way. It was easier to just get on with it. 
She hated the ‘hey there..*insert city* you’re the best.’
Halfway through the set, she thanked the crowd for coming out, introduced the band and pulled out her acoustic guitar. 
‘This isn’t usual for me, I like to kick it full steam ahead for you guys. But, someone recently sang this song to me and it revived some old feelings. Despair and lost love. Sounds good, right?’ The crowd whooped and cheered.
‘Ok, cool.’ Stef started right into the song, keeping the pace that Jared had set when he sang it to her on the floor of Jensen’s cabin the night they first made love. 
Burning soft skin of two
Trying hard to let go of you
Hoping it will do
Pulled right out from underneath you
She heard the crowd singing it along with her, her breath caught in her throat when she finished the song, pushing her guitar aside and holding up her hands in thanks to the fans. 
‘You know what, I don’t usually say this, but y’all ARE the fuckin’ best.’ 
Backstage, everyone was in high spirits. The whiskey was flowing and Stef was so buzzed. Misha was taking pictures of the band, wanting her to strike some ridiculous poses with Jensen and Jared.
Several of the shots made it on to instagram. Jared and ‘the boys,’ each posted a picture with Stef, exclaiming about how great the show had been and how excited they were to be invited backstage.
Stef even posted one with Misha, Jensen and Jared holding her up as she lay across them. There were so many comments on it, she just didn’t have the energy to read them.
Back on the bus, the guys were continuing their little party in the ‘living area’ behind the driver. Jared had come back with Stef to have a chat before they had to go.
Checking that no one was watching, Stef pulled him halfway into her tiny bunk, there was no way the both of them would fit in there but they managed to squeeze in, legs dangling out from behind the curtain. Giggling like teenagers, they made out for a while. Jared punctuating each kiss with how much he enjoyed the show. Eventually, after several phone calls from an increasingly pissed Jensen, Jared took his leave. Kissing her wrist to her shoulder and then giving her several kisses that made her head spin, he left. 
‘Stefanie’s got a boyfriend!’ One of the guys stuck his head out through the sliding door of the living area, he was so drunk he could barely stand. 
‘Shut the fuck up,’ Stef threw a pair of his balled up socks at him. ‘And clean up after your-damn-selves.’ 
The next day they were playing a much smaller venue, but the crowds were still coming out, thankfully.
Stef had taken a moment to look at her tagged posts on social media. There were a few great shots taken the night before, she was incredibly grateful her tits didn’t pop out of her dress. 
‘Wow, you know J2?’ ‘OMG Jensen’ ‘OMG Jared’. Was how most of the comments were going. Several were suggesting she was fucking one of them, or all three.
‘She sucks, her music sucks and she’s ugly.’ Charming. Stef often deleted the nasty ones, coz who wants to see them, right? 
There were more followers on all platforms, that was nice. More people to hear the music, she supposed.
Her heart skipped a beat on seeing a post on insta from Jared. It was a picture of them striking a ridiculous pose, his arm around her waist. They were doing their best blue steel. The second was a shot of him, Jensen and Misha heads together at the show and the third was Stef on stage, she couldn’t recall what part of the night it was. 
‘If anyone gets a chance to see this girl live, go see her. You rocked us last night, Stef. So proud of you.’ Several love hearts.
Misha commented, ‘get your hands off my girl, Jared.’
Jared: ‘And how long do you know her that you think you can lay claim?’
Jensen posted several laughing emojis, ‘as MJ said boys, ‘the girl is mine.’
Stef liked each of the comments. Adding her own ‘I’d take all three of you, no problem.’ To which Jared added a sad face and a broken heart. 
Her phone began vibrating, the long stream of comments disappearing. Oscar’s name was flashing on screen.
‘Hello, Oscar.’ Her voice was a little husky from the night before.
‘There she is. I see your show was well received last night.’
‘Oh?’ She feigned ignorance. 
‘There is a write up about it already, some fans of Supernatural are getting quite excited about it. You wouldn’t happen to know anyone from the show would you?’
‘Maybe.’
She heard Oscar sighing down the phone where there would usually be laughter.
‘You better not be messing around with a married man, Effie.’
‘Why would that be any of your fucking business, Oscar?’
‘I thought as much, you won’t deny it either. I noticed something about you when you came down for Dar’s party.’
‘You noticed what?’
‘Well, don’t get me wrong you are always lovely but you were simply glowing when you arrived at the airport.’
‘Oh shut up, you’re so full of crap.’
‘Am I?’
She supposed he wasn’t. But again, she didn’t want to tell him he was right. 
‘Yeah, your silence speaks volumes.’
‘I’m a big girl, Oscar. I look out for myself. Always have.’
The last two words stung him and she knew it. He shifted in his chair, she heard him clear his throat the way he always did, before he wanted to launch into a speech about how she was getting herself into trouble.
’Before you start, because I know what you’re going to say!’ She warned, hearing him start to tell her to watch herself.
‘I appreciate your concern, but I’m not getting myself into anything I haven’t thought about for many sleepless nights. We have...an agreement.’
Oscar scoffed, ‘so you’re fucking a married man. That’s fine is it?’
‘It is for us, Oscar. Please don’t judge me.’
‘I can’t not judge you. What’s with you lately? You’re not really acting like yourself.’
‘Hey, you told me I needed to loosen up a bit.’
‘Loosening up a little means go out with your friends more and have some fun. Not start a relationship with a married guy. A famous married one at that. Jesus, Stef, you have to be more careful.’
‘Oscar, I appreciate the concern.’
‘That’s it? No fighting back?’
‘I don’t want to fight, not with you. I can’t fight with you anymore.’
Oscar was sighing again. ‘Promise me, you’ll be sensible. I can’t stand seeing you broken hearted.’
‘Oh don’t start that shit again, please.’ Stef buried her face in the crook of her arm, laying across her bunk. 
‘I mean it, Stefanie. Don’t do that to yourself, you’re worth more than that. You’re more than a mistress.’
‘I know that. And as I said, it works for both of us right now.’
‘Yeah, yeah sure. You frustrate me so much, you know that?’
‘I do. It’s why you love me though.’ 
Perhaps she had chosen the wrong words, his voice which had been pleading was now just sad.
‘Fuck sakes. I’m shaking my head right now, but you can’t see me.’
Stef bit her nails, ‘yeah but I can imagine it, vividly. You still got that nice head of hair?’
‘Yep, I’m shaving it off as soon as this movie is done.’
‘I hate your bald head.’ Stef complained.
‘I am doing it just to annoy you, and I will be sending pictures.’
‘Ugh, delete me from your life please.’
‘Never,’ he smiled a little, ‘I gotta go.’
‘Later Oscar.’
‘Goodbye, love.’
CHAPTER 11
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anninhiliation · 5 years ago
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Like I Would
A/N: Heyy! So @sparklevag requested a part 2, so here it is! I was not planning on writing a part two, so choosing a direction for this was a bit tough! So maybe I could write my different directions of thoughts if you guys would like! A few songs I was choosing between was Torn by Natalie Imbruglia, I broke us by Cierra Ramires ft. Trevor Jackson, and Love will remember by Selena Gomez! Or maybe you guys would like songfics to other characters? I do not have rights to the song, gifs or characters of Riverdale. This is also my second song based fic, I am still getting used to it! Also, the italics are the lyrics! 
Side Note: Cherrying is when someone lights the weed in a bowl or bong and smoke, but it's still lit for someone else to smoke and not have to relight. (I don't know if that makes sense to you, but I don't know how else to explain it hahaha!)  Stash is referring to weed, a hit means you smoked it, so three would be you smoked three times as in the bowl, bong, blunt whatever was either passed to you or you lit it three times. (Okay THAT was a terrible explanation I am so sorry I don't know how to explain stoner slang I just know what it means and how to use it) And when I say smoked, I don't mean it total in someone’s life, I'm trying to say like took a drag, or puffed it, okay sorry I probably don't make any sense, but I am just trying to explain to those who don't know stoner slang)
Masterlist 
Eyes Closed (Part 1)
Like I would (Song) Zayn
Warnings: There's mention of drug use, its weed I do not see it as a big deal but in case you do I'm just letting you know now! Light smut as well. 
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Hey what's up? It's been a while
Talking 'bout it's not my style
Thought I'd see what's up, while I'm lighting up
It's cold-hearted, cold-hearted
Know it's late, but I'm so wired
Saw your face and got inspired
Guess you let it go, now you're good to go
It's cold-hearted, cold-hearted
Sweet Pea’s POV:
It was a normal Friday night hanging out in the Quarry with Toni and Fangs. We had just left a northside party after it got dry and went to spend the night smoking a younger serpents stash. After three hits I was high and completely zoned out. Toni began cherrying what I left as I felt my phone buzz. I went to check what it was, but it was just a text from Josie, I unlocked my phone and forgot which led me to start mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. Suddenly I saw Y/N’s face on my feed, making me scroll back to double check. I saw that it was under Jugheads username and it was captioned “hacked”. Betty and Y/N made a slideshow of smiling and making silly faces. 
“Fangs can I see your phone?” I blurted out looking up from my screen.
Fangs and I locked eyes, and he made a facial expression as if he was thinking about it.
“I won't do anything I just need to see something,” I added.
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He nodded as he unlocked his phone and handed it to me. I looked through his apps, finding Instagram and tapping on it. I looked up Y/N’s username and went on her profile. After she found me with Josie she set her Instagram to private and deleted my account from her followers. A week after she blocked my number and started seeing Reggie Mantle. All her posts of me were deleted and replaced with Reggie. A pit of guilt formed in my stomach, seeing her face, her smile, she did it. She moved on from us.
Oh, oh, it's probably gonna sound wrong
Promise it won't last long
Oh, oh, if we can never go back
Thought you'd like to know that
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Y/N, please listen to me!” I pleaded with the girl I betrayed. 
Her eyes appeared to have been made from glass by how they glistened when they met mine. It was a few days after she caught me with Josie and she had finally agreed to let me explain myself.
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“It was a mistake.” I sighed. “It meant nothing, it was just a kiss. I don't even like her like that.”
He, won't touch you like I do
He, won't love you like I would
He don't know your body
He don't do you right
He won't love you like I would
Love you like I would
As I sat at the lunch table I watched as Reggie put his arm around her small frame. How he would lean his body towards hers, and she would snuggle into his. They shared fries together and would giggle at each other. 
“You okay Pea?” Jughead asked interrupting my thoughts. 
“Yea Jones I’m great.” I snapped, getting up and storming out of Riverdale High. 
It's okay to want me, 'cause I want you
Been thinkin' it over, but I'm through
So stop wasting all my time, messing with my mind
It's cold-hearted, cold-hearted
It was a rainy Thursday night when I heard a knock on my trailer. I was shocked to see it was Y/N.
“Hey.” She barely whispered out. 
“Hey, come in,” I said as I opened the door further.
Out of habit I leaned in towards her and cupped her face. Out of reflex, she leaned her head into my hand and our lips met. The kiss began softly but quickly turned heated. My shirt went flying and her small soft hands roamed my back. I pulled on her bottom lip as she removed her shirt. I grabbed her thighs in the middle of our tongues battling for dominance. Her arms snaked around my neck and her hands lightly tugged on my hair. I lifted her thighs up and they wrapped around my waist. I carried her to my room and we fell back on old habits.
Oh, oh, it's probably gonna sound wrong
Promise it won't last long
Oh, oh, if we can never go back
Thought you'd like to know that
Once we both reached our climaxes she turned cold. 
“I started something with Reggie.” She blurted out as she put her clothes back on. 
“This was a mistake, but I thought I should let you know that there's no saving what we once had.” She added as she found her pants by my closet door. 
“Okay. Do what you want.” I responded emotionlessly as I stared at the ceiling. 
He, won't touch you like I do
He, won't love you like I would
He don't know your body
He don't do you right
He won't love you like I would
Love you like I would, like I would
He, won't touch you like I do
He, won't love you like I would
He don't know your body
He don't do you right
He won't love you like I would
Love you like I would, like I would
A month later at a northside party, I watched from the corner of my eye as I hustled some northsiders how he would place his hands on her hips and she would grind against him. How she would move her hair to the side to grant him more access to her skin. Their bodies were in sync but did not fit the same as her and I. 
“Dude I know you’re staring at Y/N.” Fangs mumbled loud enough so only I could hear.
“I just can't see her actually liking that guy.” I mumbled.
He can't love you like I would
He can't love you like I could
He don't know your body
He don't know your body
At the party, I watched as she went into the backyard and some Bulldogs pulled Reggie away. I nonchalantly followed her outside once Reggie was out of sight.
“I bet he doesn't fuck you like I did,” I stated watching her lean against the deck railing. 
“That's no longer your business or concern Pea.” She sighed. 
“It took me three months to figure out all the little things you like Y/L/N. Im just saying I bet he doesnt do half of those things.” I admitted. 
He, won't touch you like I do
He, won't love you like I would
He don't know your body
He don't do you right
He won't love you like I would
Love you like I would, like I would
He, won't touch you like I do
He, won't love you like I would
He don't know your body
He don't do you right
He won't love you like I would
Love you like I would, like I would
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“What If I told you he does a better job?” She whispered staring into the backyard and a little smirk grew upon her lips. 
“I could prove that wrong and you know it.” I teased as I leaned against the wall. 
Fangs suddenly flew open the sliding doors.
“Dude we have to go emergency meeting!” Fangs said with panic.
“He wont love you like I did Y/L/N.” I mumbled as I walked back into the house.
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firecoloredwater · 6 years ago
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Dragonflight Chapter 1 Commentary
And, after way longer than planned, I have finally gotten that commentary written for the first scene/chapter of Dragonflight.  Under a cut because this is long, and both spoilers and tangents abound.
(This is also being crossposted on pillowfort here, so if you have an account please consider this encouragement to comment.)
Plot Events
Lessa wakes up with a bad feeling and tries to figure out what danger is approaching.  She fails and resolves to wait.  The watch wher adores her.
Worldbuilding Details
Lessa trusts the watch-wher to be very aware of/sensitive to danger, so that her sensing something it doesn’t is very strange.
The watch-wher has an “odorous lair” and is kept on a chain in the courtyard.  Also: clipped wings, a scaly head, and pointed ears.  It flees into the den when the sun rises.
Kitchen drudges all sleep together in the cheese room; Lessa is described as “curled into a tight knot of bones” so presumably drudges aren’t fed well (at least in Fax’s Ruatha).  They have sandals and sleep on straw, but apparently do not have any means of brushing their hair (or else Lessa hasn’t been making any use of it, and this isn’t terribly unusual for a drudge).
When describing Ruatha’s deterioration, it’s referred to as “the once stone-clean Hold.”
“Hold” seems to be roughly equivalent to a castle; Lessa refers to the “paved perimeter” of the Hold, as if a Hold is a very physical thing, more a place than a culture or a city which can expand just by building houses/roads/shops.
“the craftsmen’s stony holdings at the foot of the Hold’s cliff” implies that the Hold is built into a cliff, and that craftsmen have stone houses/shops/both that are built at the foot of but outside the cliff.
Lessa’s Hold is initially referred to as “Ruath Hold,” with “Ruatha” used in a way that seems like it might be more equivalent to “America.”
There are a lot of tales and ballads about “the dawn appearance of the red star.”
“Milchbeasts” are probably milk cows, but I suppose could also be goats or other animals used for milk.
The watch wher seems to be able to understand speech, though it doesn’t speak itself.
Commentary
I had forgotten how Anne McCaffrey began every book (every chapter?  From the format it looks like it’ll be every chapter, but see, I don’t remember) with an in-universe song excerpt.  Not that I wouldn’t have recalled when reminded, but without prompting I wouldn’t have come up with it.
As a result of this feature, the very first words I ever read of Pern (and, of course, the first in this reread as well) were not prose, they were lyrics:
Drummer, beat, and piper, blow, Harper, strike, and soldier, go. Free the flame and sear the grasses Till the dawning Red Star passes.
I like the lyrics, and I think they’re fitting for my experience of enjoying Pern.  These lines are very imagistic, very emotional; it’s a remarkably martial feel, considering three of the four characters/archetypes in the lines—drummer, piper, harper, and soldier—are musicians, and only the last is, well, the soldier.  It gives me the feeling of all of Pern together gathering themselves and preparing and marching to war… which is what F’lar ends up spending most of this book trying to make happen.
It’s also deeply ironic, considering that I think soldiers exist in Dragonflight and Dragonseye and… well, some of the colonists in Dragonsdawn are retired former soldiers who don’t want to talk about it.  But as far as I remember, soldiers just flat out don’t exist in any Pern book other than those two three.  Even guards, and the concept of guards, seems to vanish.  I’ve heard that national leaders are under much tighter security now than they were a century or two ago—which makes sense, it’s a lot harder to keep an assassin with a rifle out of murder range than an assassin with a sword—but medieval leaders still had guards.
Pernese leaders, on the other hand, seem to be operating under the philosophy that if you can’t personally defend yourself from assassins, then you kinda deserved it anyway and the assassin will probably rule better than you did.  You’d think that people would at least be a little concerned about what happens to Jaxom considering he’s the sole possible heir to Ruatha once Lessa and her descendants are ineligible due to dragons, and I can only guess what sort of political mess would result if Jaxom died.  But off he goes, wherever he feels like at any time, with not only no guards but not even a ‘visiting my secret girlfriend on her farm, send a search party if I’m not back by the morning’ note.  Which I believe of Jaxom easily, but why does no one worry?  Why is there no Zazu trying to make Simba-Jaxom behave himself?
And F’lar!  Okay, sure, he has a great big dragon to protect him, but on the other hand so did his father, who was assassinated.  I think it’s implied that F’lar put extra effort into learning knife fighting so that he could defend himself if someone tried to murder him like F’lon, which is… something, anyway… but F’lar, have you ever considered asking any of the hundreds of men in the military organization you have absolute power over to, say, do literally anything other than stand aside and watch when someone tries to murder you?
Now, to be fair to F’lar (and to all his subordinates who never suggest such a thing) the murder attempts were usually narratively framed as duels (even though they were never initiated with the formalities that would surround dueling when it was a thing in real, Earth cultures).  Between that, F’lar’s pride, and the culture just not having the concept of guards, I have no trouble believing that F’lar wouldn’t come up with the idea.  But how did we get to a culture that doesn’t have a concept of guards for world leaders?  And how come no one else ever tried to interfere?  Stab the evil Oldtimers in the back if you must!  They went through zero formalities, they just pulled out a knife and aimed for murder, this is closer to a tavern brawl that an honorable duel.  The other Oldtimers who value tradition so highly are not gonna side with the guy who tried to murder his peer just because he used a weapon to do it!  Hell, Lessa can just psychically smack them down and be done with it, no death needed.  Have Ramoth order their dragon to yell at them until they cut it out, just do something.
…Alright, I’ve gone on for a full page and not even read an actual sentence yet.  Time to move on.
…Soooo am I the only one who just kind of… forgot that Lessa can see the future?
Okay I didn’t forget forget, the explanation for it is half the plot of the book, but I don’t think it ever quite clicked for me until rereading that Lessa can see the future.  The very first thing that happens in the first chapter of Dragonflight (and therefore the very first thing that ever happened in all of Pern) is: Lessa has a bad feeling.  She immediately interprets this bad feeling as an indication that something dangerous is about to happen and tries to figure out what it is.  The next few chapters are about F’lar and Fax arriving, both of whom are dangerous to Lessa and her plans in different ways.  Fax is the usurper who killed her family and would kill (or perhaps forcibly marry, then kill) her if he knew who she was; F’lar immediately takes her away from the Hold she just won back after (I think) a decade of hiding and plotting, and ensures that neither she nor her children can ever rule it.  For a good cause and all, but still: pretty dangerous for Lessa’s plans to rule Ruatha.
I’ve gotten off track.  Back to the point: Lessa can see the future.  Or sense it, anyway.  More interesting to me is the fact that she never questions her ability to do this.  We know that she went back in time twice to give herself these feelings, to save herself from Fax as a child and to sense incoming danger at the beginning of the book, which is where these feelings come from and why they’re right.  I don’t question her trusting it as a scared kid, but as an adult who’s just expecting danger and not yet in it, I’d expect a little more skepticism.  Some degree of ‘hm, what if this bad feeling is in fact not world-changing prophecy, and instead is just about the way my boss seemed stressed yesterday and tends to kick me when he’s in a bad mood?’  Or, ‘what if this is just residual feelings from a nightmare, since I just woke up and the watch-wher isn’t bothered?’
Doylistically, the answer is that Lessa is right, her sense of danger establishes suspense for the first few chapters, and ‘but does the danger Lessa sensed actually exist?’ is not a subplot that fit into the rest of the story or that Anne McCaffrey had any interest in.  (Presumably.  Maybe there was a draft where Lessa doubts herself until Fax arrives, but I doubt it.)
I like Watsonian explanations better though, so let’s look at it that way.  The degree to which Lessa trusts this sense of danger makes it seem to me like she’s experienced this before, and probably several times; one distant, panicked memory from when she was a kid is not good evidence of having a reliable, invisible ability that no one else does (or, probably, has ever even mentioned as a fictional concept, considering that Pern doesn’t seem to have fiction beyond slight inaccuracies in historical ballads and maybe room for the possibility of made up characters for love songs and similar).
It’s also fairly plausible that Lessa could have psychically sensed danger before it arrived previously.  Her immediate interpretation of what happened, after all, was not ‘I traveled through time and read my own mind’ but ‘I sensed malice from someone with my telepathic powers’ which is definitely a thing she can do, since she spends the next several paragraphs psychically searching for the danger that woke her up and confirming that it’s not anywhere she checks.  A handful of instances of that happening (and her actually finding the source of the menace) would give her a pretty good reason to trust her ominous feelings, and might explain why neither Fax nor any of his cronies ever found her.
Lessa has spider sense, is what I’m saying.  Go forth and crossover, fandom.
Anyway, Lessa spends a few paragraphs scanning the surrounding area, which is used to give us a sketch of the setting: Ruath Hold is a place contained by walls and set into a cliff; outside it is a paved area and stone buildings where craftsmen live, and a causeway to “the valley.”  Wind blows to Ruatha from the shores of Tillek, which seem to be pretty close.  Further out is the Pass, which is further than Lessa has ever psychically scanned before.
Then we get a slight detour as Fax is mentioned.    He’s described as “the self-styled Lord of the High Reaches” and Lessa is pleased that he’s infuriated by Ruatha’s deterioration and hasn’t been there in three turns.  Turns is capitalized for some reason.  Was that a thing in 60s scifi?  Capitalizing words that replaced ordinary words to draw attention to how scifi the vocabulary is?  I remember between always being italicized, and I think I’ve seen similar italicization of new words in fantasy series, but at least ‘between’ is a new use of a word for a new concept.  Turn is just an invented synonym and capitalizing it makes no sense at all.  I just… don’t know what she could possibly have been thinking, much less what her editors were.  Maybe she had an editor who knew nothing about scifi and thought that was a thing?  I think I’ve heard that she originally wrote romance, so maybe she just kept a romance editor who’d never read scifi before and decided that fake it til you make it was an acceptable strategy.  It’s the closest I have to an explanation.
Moving on, then Lessa gets up.  She finds her sandals, brushes straw out of her “matted” hair, and twists it into a knot.  I… I have objections to this.
I actually can and regularly do put my hair in a knot at the base of my neck without using any hair ties or anything other than the hair itself to hold it, and doing that when my hair is badly tangled doesn’t work.  It’ll go into the knot, sure, but it’ll also just come undone in a minute or less.  Getting it into a knot that it will stay in for any length of time requires either something to hold it in place or getting the balance exactly right, and you can’t do the latter with tangled hair.  A few small tangles, sure, but anything approaching matted is just… not going to work.  If I can’t run my fingers through my hair, it won’t stay in a knot.  (Also, ‘matted’ makes me think of fake “dreadlocks” and that there must be mold growing in her hair, but that’s probably more that the connotation has shifted over time.  At least, I hope.)
Also, humans are primates that like grooming ourselves and each other; even if for some bizarre reason it’s illegal for drudges to own combs, the drudges should just be finger combing their own and each others’ hair.  (Or cutting it all off.  Or hiding illegal combs in that straw they sleep on.  Whatever.)  The matted hair is there to indicate that Lessa is living in a really bad, physically deprived, barely surviving situation, same as Lessa waking up on straw in a cold, smelly room full of other drudges, but that really should’ve been done by making her hair oily or something.  She’s going to wash it in a few chapters anyway, at the same time as she combs it.
Granted, I don’t have much trouble imagining Lessa shunning all the other drudges’ company during hair combing time so that she can plot vengeance more, so maybe it’s just her and all the others have only slightly tangled hair.
Anyway, Lessa goes outside.  She interacts fondly with the watch-wher, in a very similar way to how a person might interact with a dog, though the watch wher is probably meant to be a bit smarter than dogs are.  Then she climbs up to the ramparts and we get a little bit more of the setting: the Hold has a massive gate, and the Pass is within sight.
(How close is Tillek?  Technically it said that the danger ‘didn’t scent the breezes from Tillek’s cold shore’ but I refuse to interpret that literally, Lessa is not psychically smelling emotion on breezes.  I can only assume that she psychically scanned a significant part of the way to Tillek’s shore, if not all the way there.  That was within her ‘I’ve gone this far before’ range while the Pass wasn’t, and now she can see the Pass.  Mountains can be seen a pretty good distance away, but ‘the stony breasts of the Pass rose in black relief’ sure doesn’t sound like a smudge on the horizon.  How close is Tillek?  I’ve been thinking of Holds as capital cities controlling small-nation-sized areas of land, even if most of the land is unpopulated, but this is making them seem more like small towns with barely any space between them.  Could I walk from Ruatha to Tillek in a day?)
Lessa stares into the east, then the northeast, and notices the red star (which isn’t capitalized even though it’s clearly a proper name like the North Star, which I just googled because this made me doubt myself, and North Star is indeed supposed to be capitalized.  I can’t just have a really old and unedited version, this is the omnibus, there was time to fix this, where is her editor).  The sight of the Red Star makes a bunch of “incoherent fragments” of stories about the Red Star at dawn flash through her mind too quickly for her to make sense of them, which conveniently leaves us with the ominous feeling we were supposed to get and no distracting other details.  On the other hand, I’m now wondering if all those Red Star story fragments were projected by future!Lessa, so maybe there’s some foreshadowing along with the narrative convenience.
Lessa’s instincts tell her that while there is danger coming from the northeast, the danger from the east is more important, so she goes back to staring that way.  But then the warning feeling fades away, presumably because future!Lessa finally figured out what was going on and went back to her own time.  Present Lessa accepts that she’s been warned, and just has to wait to see what she was warned about.
Then she looks over the valley a bit and muses about how Fax gets no profit from Ruatha, never will while Lessa lives, and has no idea that she’s the source of this.  She smiles and stretches, then panics when a rooster crows and she worries someone might have woken up and seen her with uncharacteristically confident body language, so she lets her hair back down and reassumes “the sloppy posture she affected.”
Okay, I have several questions.  First: if she’s that worried about being seen acting uncharacteristically, wouldn’t it make more sense to just return to her normal pose and not whirl around like she has secrets?  Yes, she was startled, but she’s been doing this for years.  I’m sure she’s had moments where she thought she almost got caught before, she’s had a chance to practice subtlety.
Second, are there really so few drudges that Fax’s cronies can recognize individual drudges and their usual behavior, or does Lessa think some other drudge would tell Fax who she is because they saw her standing up straight with her hair pulled back?
Third, why were there no guards to see her?  Fax slaughtered her family at this same time of the morning several years ago, and I remember a specific mention of the guard who had been paid to not sound an alarm.  Why does Fax not have a guard now that he rules the place?  Lessa was on the ramparts over the gate, she should’ve been easy for a guard to see.  She should have been standing next to a guard.
Fourth, I’m pretty sure that after years and years of “affecting” a sloppy posture, that would just be her normal posture.  I can accept the “princess is forced to work as a servant, is eventually revealed to be a princess by how her skin is just as pale and her hands are just as soft and her dancing is just as graceful and her singing is just as sweet as if she had grown up with nothing to do her entire life but perfect those things, because it’s just the inherent nature of princesses to be naturally perfect in those ways” conceit in a fairytale, but this is a novel and it bothers me.  Both because there are whole worlds of classism going on in that concept which I may not be qualified to analyze but can sure side-eye with a double dose of irritation, and also because it makes no sense.
Lessa is Cinderella (with spider sense and dragons) but she’s supposed to be more plausible, and she’s also singlehandedly sabotaging an entire Hold (however much ‘a Hold’ actually is) while maintaining a cover as an overworked and underfed servant.  Her posture is not her priority, and there are no perfect posture genes to be passed down royal lines.  Lessa slouches.  Probably she gets in a bunch of passive aggressive battles with R’gul and then F’lar over it.  That is the only reasonable option.
…Moving on from that rant.
Lessa hugs and pets the watch wher, which is at least as ecstatic about this attention as a dog would be after being left alone for a week.  Lessa thinks about how the watch wher is the only living creature that knows who she is, and also the only one she’s ever trusted since her family was killed and she survived by hiding in its den.  She reminds it to be vicious to her if anyone else is nearby, it’s reluctant but promises to obey.  The sun rises, the watch wher runs back into its den, and Lessa sneaks back to the cheese room.  End of Chapter 1.
So, uh, another question: why didn’t Fax just kill the watch wher and replace it with a watch wher bound to him?  I can’t imagine there were none available in however many years it’s been, even if watch whers were originally conceived as nighttime guards for Holds and nothing else.  I also can’t see Fax being inclined to spare it out of pity or similar.  Did all the watch wher breeders refuse to let him have an egg?  Couldn’t he have made a breeding pair out of all the watch whers from all the Holds he rules and used eggs from that to replace the watch whers bound to families he’s usurped?  Is this another example of ‘Fax doesn’t even want to think about Ruatha’?
Anyway, now I’m going to go even deeper into English major mode.
I really wish I could give this to one of my old English professors and see how they critiqued it.  This chapter is a bit under two and a half pages long in the book I have, I’d guess no more than five pages in a regular sized paperback format.  There’s no dialogue and very little action.  There are several points where the phrasing seems like it’s trying too hard to me, though I suspect that that is due to changes in what’s considered standard in the last fifty years.  I kind of suspect that if I had turned in something similar to this for a class, it would’ve been ripped to shreds, mostly on the basis of having lots of exposition with no dialogue and little action.
Despite that, this chapter does a lot of things in a very short time.  It introduces us to the setting: we have a decent idea what a Hold is and that a properly maintained Hold is supposed to be clear of grasses, and we have a decent idea of what drudges are and how they’re treated, and we have a sketch of the surrounding landscape and significant nearby locations.  We have a pretty good idea of Lessa’s character and motivation, and we know that Fax is an enemy of Lessa’s and that he goes around conquering Holds to add to the one he rightfully inherited.  We know the Red Star is ominous.  We have pretty good foreshadowing for the discovery of time travel.  We know that watch whers have scales and wings, live in dens, and are vicious to most people but adoring of a few, which sets us up pretty well for the dragons that appear next (who might not be strange to us now, but which would have been a lot stranger when this was published).  We know that Lessa has psychic abilities, and a broad range in which she can apply them.  That’s pretty good for a few pages.
We also have an established tone, and Lessa acting in contrast to it.  The scene puts a lot of emphasis on how cold everything is, and how much stone is around, and generally works to make the reader feel how chilled and oppressive and deteriorated everything is.  For the first half of the chapter Lessa fits into this: she’s bony, she’s huddled on the floor, her hair is matted and full of straw.
Almost exactly halfway through Lessa starts moving, and she glides.
There have been indications that Lessa rules Ruatha already; she’s psychically tracking everything, to start with.  But that is the moment where Lessa breaks out of the general cold-decay-oppression and is shown as a ruler, in secret or otherwise.  Starving, oppressed servants don’t glide.  Queens do.
The rest of the scene continues to present Lessa as powerful; she stands above the gate and muses about how Fax will never get any profit from Ruatha, and will never know that Lessa is behind it.  She tells the watch wher what to do and it promises to obey even though it doesn’t want to.  And then she vanishes back into hiding, biding her time.  The next chapter will be F’lar’s POV, and this one does very well at establishing Lessa as someone lurking in Ruatha, ready and motivated and able to screw up F’lar’s plans.  F’lar doesn’t know she’s there, but we do and are waiting for the collision.
I’ve seen people call Anne McCaffrey a bad or even a terrible writer, and… I suppose it’s possible this chapter is an anomaly, but I’d call this pretty good.  Old fashioned in some ways that make it seem pretentious or overdone by modern standards, but we can hardly blame her because styles changed over time.  I certainly have objections to her characterization of many characters, and I’d say that her worldbuilding consists of cool ideas which were warped by various prejudices, and there are several details which were glossed over for narrative ease that I wanted more realism on (which I think is partly an example of shifts in what’s considered standard over time).
But when it comes to the actual, literal, technical writing?  Anne McCaffrey knew what she was doing.  There were a lot of things that she had to accomplish in this scene, and I think she did them all pretty well, and for the most part pretty subtly.  She knew how to communicate what she wanted to; just because we would’ve liked her to communicate something else doesn’t mean she was bad at communicating.  There’s a reason this series created a fandom which is still going a full half a century later.
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radramblog · 5 years ago
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Hard-Fi - Stars of CCTV (2005)
Here’s a solid one to start on: not well-known enough to be beloved (at which point I’d be worried about stepping on toes), nor so obscure that no-one knows who the heck I’m talking about.
For those not in the know, Hard-Fi are an English rock band formed in the early 00s, that have unfortunately been on hiatus since 2014. Unfortunately, I was a bit too young for the noughties rock revival (I would have been 6 when this album dropped) so I can’t really comment on how popular or well-received the band was compared to similar, more long-lasting acts such as Franz Ferdinand or the Arctic Monkeys. Around when I first heard this album was when I was going through a bit of a phase with those two bands (and I still love them both, and have their full discographies), and I sort of got this idea in my head of their three debut albums forming this sort of trifecta. You’ve got Franz Ferdinand’s self-titled as this posh, high-class, swaggering album, Stars of CCTV as the working class counterpart, downtrodden and desperate but more worldly and mature, and Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I Am Not between the two with all this youthful energy, as well as pretty handily representing the middle class in this little structure. Worth noting it’s been a while since I’ve listened to that one, so I’m likely to be completely wrong about it.
Regardless, desperate is where we start with Stars of CCTV and it’s opening track, Cash Machine. The very first seconds of the track do an excellent job of introducing the mood of the song, and album as a whole, with this incredibly lonely harmonica bit, the introduction of this smooth little bassline, and a sudden shift into the first verse with it’s hard-hitting drumbeats and sparse, scratchy guitar. The lyrics kick in, as we begin this story of living paycheck to paycheck and not having enough money to get home after a night out. Between that and some of the soaring strings in the back of the chorus the song sounds just like a tragedy in motion. This continues into the second verse, with the singer’s desperate attempts to find a way home, and lamenting the world and situation he’s in, finally cultivating in the final verse- his girlfriend makes a positive pregnancy test, and he can’t afford the baby, so he has to skip out on her. There’s this real sense of loss in the song, with this character who’s sure he’s done nothing particularly wrong in life but is suffering regardless- he’s tormented by his poverty, made manifest in the form of this ATM. Cash Machine is probably my second favourite track on this album, if I’m honest- despite being well-off enough that I will probably never have to relate to it (privilege checked, nice) it’s still incredibly cohesive and just…sad. Hopeless even.
The album fortunately doesn’t stay this low forever, as we follow up with…Middle Eastern Holiday? Aw shit. The song opens and sticks with this faster, more light-hearted drum line (featuring a small amount of cowbell), and it’s not exactly a positive song but it’s certainly no Cash Machine. It’s talking about a heavy topic, but almost with a mocking tone, condemning the idea of late teenagers signing up for the military without thinking it through. It’s a much more traditional song, and thereby much more forgettable, but still a very solid indie rock track.
We then get into Tied Up Too Tight, and I honestly couldn’t tell you what this one is about. Definitely a lot less dark/political than the last few. The build-up to the first chorus gets longer every time I hear the song, I swear to god. I almost feel like this build-up is kind of too long for the payoff it gets. I was a lot higher on the song when I first heard it, but I just kind of get weary of it the more I do. The verses are pretty repetitive, with this 11 or so second loop of instrumental over and over with the lyrics being the only real change until the prechorus, which takes a full minute to kick in. And it’s not like that loop isn’t interesting, there’s actually a lot going on in it, but it just starts to grind on me. And as I said, the chorus doesn’t pay the build off enough to be satisfying, nor does it deliberately fall so flat as to undercut it and release the tension that way. (a tactic which pays off in songs such as Radiohead’s Weird Fishes)
Gotta Reason is the first track on this album I almost completely forgot about if I’m honest. You mean there’s another track on here before Hard to Beat? Damnit. I don’t have any super strong opinions about it, but between it and Hard to Beat we’re firmly entering the “fun” part of this album. I also completely forgot about the fake out ending, which seems completely pointless if you ask me.
Oh hell yeah, Hard to Beat. Hard to Beat was the first Hard-Fi song I heard, thanks to Spotify recommendations, and the only one I’ve heard in public. It’s cleanly their biggest song, and for good reason, because this song is a fucking jam. Lyrically, it’s nothing special, being a fairly straightforward club love song, but it’s just got this really solid vocal performance, especially with the phenomenal prechorus and chorus, as well as this really fun, if basic, guitar line that’s all brought together by this fuzzy bass that I honestly adore. It’s all just great to sing and groove along to, and I can’t even write all of this without being completely lost in it. Seriously, go listen to this song, holy shit. One of the best rock songs that decade. It’s a song with a prophetic title, however, as the remainder of the album is left with an especially tough act to follow.
We enter a 4-song long period here of tracks that didn’t leave enough of an impact on me such that I basically didn’t know any of them until I relistened to write this post. Unnecessary Trouble is another decent rock song, following in the vein of Gotta Reason, but with added “Whoa-oh-ohs” for some spice. Move on Now is a bit of a turn, as it’s a singer + piano song rather than being a rock song. While being incredibly melancholy (as the genre tends to), it still isn’t anything special- the vocal performance is passable, and the piano line is pretty generic. I do like the little bit of bridge that comes in with a little bit of trumpet and a drum machine, and how quiet the vocals get at the very end.
Better Do Better lands as a better Tied Up Too Tight, with this low, relatively quiet build that makes sure not to overstay its welcome before bursting out into the chorus with the vocals SUDDENLY SHOUTING and then chilling out again but now the rest of the song is amped up. It does have a bit of spice for itself with the bridge, which is a little funkier than anything else on the album. The ninth track, Feltham is Singing Out, is basically fine, though the mix isn’t great as far as I can tell- the vocals in the verses are a little muddied in the guitar line. It is a touch harder a song than anything else on the album- the chorus instrumental reminds me vaguely of The Cranberries’ Zombie, but a good bit higher pitched and sped up. Actually, it’s nothing like Zombie, but it has a similar guitar tone if you know what I mean?
At this point I’m basically living for Living for The Weekend. I just love the intro, with this slowly rising synth and this sudden, stuttered percussion that sadly doesn’t continue into the rest of the track. The feel of the song well conveys that feeling of finally being able to take a load off and party after a long week of work, with a vocal performance that sounds vaguely weary, but still relieved and excited. I also love that the track ends on a fade-out with the lyrics “You and I, going out tonight” repeated, as it sort of suggests in some way that that story continues, though hopefully not directly into the last song.
Stars of CCTV’s self-titled finale is another odd one out, being entirely acoustic, and we’re well and truly back to melancholy here. Stars of CCTV referring to the celebrity of the criminal, with the fame and recognition that comes from a wanted poster or your face on the news. The sense of desperation lingers again in this song, like the infamy is what this person lives for, but they almost hate themselves for it. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but hey this is an opinion blog, right. Anyway, the music. Outside of the surprisingly varied vocals the song has not a massive amount to offer, though I really like the playful piano in the bridge, as well as the little claps bringing it all together. It is honestly one of the better songs on the album, and nicely bookends the album with Cash Machine.
Overall Stars of CCTV is a solid album, despite its fair number of forgettable tracks. The lows aren’t especially low, and the highs range from great to fantastic. If you’ve gotten this far without listening to it then I’d recommend fetching your streaming service of choice and giving it 45 minutes of your time.
Now that we’re done here, please please please hit me up if you have feedback or just want to ask something, either here or on twitter @Raderph. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next time.
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sleepymarmot · 6 years ago
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A couple of months ago, after finishing COUNTER/Weight, I spent about a week in a total hangover, relistening to scenes and having feelings. I took some notes, but procrastinated posting them, and then finally got distracted. But, a) I hate leaving things I intended for tumblr unposted, even if they have value only for me, and b) I also hate posting things out of order, and there's a big TM liveblog incoming. So, here's a bunch of really random thoughts about C/w from past me.
The gnosis virus did go nowhere huh. I was hopeful for a minute when one of the finale intros mentioned it, but that was it. What was the purpose of that arc even. [Note from present me: Lol. At least I feel better about this one!]
Oh, and the patch AuDy left never reappeared either. And the idea from the faction game that Aria's images owned by EarthHome/Petrichor transmit Rigour code… That's the flip side of the coin. On the one hand, it's really cool to see the creative process – on the other, it sometimes feels like you're listening to people write a script for the tv show, but only get to see a half of the finished product. It's fascinating to see the universe grow organically and the players to come up with new ideas and get excited about them – but that means numerous retcons, some of them not even presented as such, because the creators forgot what the previous revision was or didn't thought it was important. It's a unique feature of the medium that player choice directs the narrative and it's not bound by railroading – but that means some roads lead nowhere, and some branches dry and fall off.
It's a bit harder to make peace with something that could have easily been developed more within the existing plot of the show. How come there's a player character whose consciousness consists of three different people in various combinations, but nobody seems to be curious how that works? No PC or NPC ever asked “Which one of you is speaking right now?” or something. The final episodes made a lot of things clearer, but it still felt too little, too late. Hard not to be reminded of that gripe about certain two characters sharing one character sheet one of whom was left underdeveloped and half-forgotten… Both are very ambitious concepts that require a double amount of work from the player, so I feel bad complaining they weren't realized to full potential, but…
Speaking of L&D… I still want to know how the hell did that one engineer all by herself design 4 gods, one of which became a basis for technology that was advanced even for the civilizations 80,000 years later? This woman singlehandedly surpassed any technological achievement of humanity before and after. Who Is She
I saw a “Wake me up: before you go go / when september ends / wake me up inside” meme and thought “heh, this sounds relevant, which member of the Chime is which?” and it already made me sad, but then I realized that I'd never actually heard the september song and looked it up and. The lyrics fit so well. What the fuck. It's an old song everyone keeps joking about. Why is it appropriate for a legitimate fanmix. What. I guess the word “September” will never be the same again for me.
I looked up the rules for Firebrands, the game used for the finale. Oh my, challenges for the dance minigame are so overtly romantic when you see them in a list together! Imagine this cast of characters having to answer to “do you place your hand upon my elbow, shoulder, waist, or hip?” lmao. Also I didn't realize “May I?” was part of the rules for “stealing time together”. (And I found out there's a party version of that minigame with bug-themed challenges. I might have dug too deep…) "Tactical skirmish" is a really fascinating concept, I've never seen such a masochistic combat system! Really faces the player with the violence they're inflicting: sure, you can always fight on, but are you ready to live with what you'll have to do? But for it to work fully, you need a lot of non-expendable NPCs on both sides. The one with the most likeable team wins! (Like Mako did.)
I'm relistening to Three Conversations and it's pretty interesting that Ibex has a bunch perfectly lifelike android bodies, right? There is no such technology seen anywhere else. Did Righteousness develop and privatize that? Are they so complex that only a Divine would have enough computing power to successfully mimic organic life? Can Aria convince Righteousness to help her perform on stage without leaving her duties? Also, like with AuDy, I wonder how Ibex & Righteousness' consciousness works. Is it a single mind, spread across every body he has, or even anything Righteousness is running on, having a bunch of different conversations at once if he needs to? Or is the original Ibex just gone, and what's left is a personality imprint hanging on to the connection to his still living body, imitating his former self like the automated recording Cass saw wore his face? In other words, has Ibex completely fused with Righteousness, or assimilated and destroyed by it? Does he not exist anymore as an independent singular being, or does he not exist at all? Most info indicates the former, but there was also “You’re not in there anymore” “No”.
If Orth and Jace are anime fans with their Kingdom Come and Panther, then Ibex is the guy who's way too into dinosaurs or paleontology. It's as if the heads of various confessions were called Triceratops, Stegosaurus etc. and only one of them knows wtf that means, and also he compares his Divine to… Were there scavenging dinosaurs? I'm looking at an article that suggests T. Rex might have been a scavenger, so yeah he would compare Righteousness to a goddamn T. Rex.
Hey what do you think is the most thematically aproppriate part of the Hieron anime for Orth to watch alone at night during the Kingdom game. What's the best thematic parallel for when he turns off the episode and thinks he made a mistake. Do you think that he once, after a long day and a long month and maybe a long year of feeling helpless and doomed, sits down for a distraction but ends up sobbing “How could they let this happen to Mother Glory”
On Joypark, there are definitely statues of Eidolons, ancient and holy, that were repainted and repurposed as Hieron deities. Imagine a giant Greek or Roman style marble statue of Apote – and it’s painted over as Samot, with an anime face and in really bright plain colors like these “reconstructions of original coloring” that actually only use base colors so they look like cheap action figures.
I was reading Austin's top ten games of 2016 list on Waypoint and he gave first place to The Sprawl! Aww!
The Downloads folder in my phone gallery is funny bc it mostly consists of every freely available f@tt map and also that one photo of Tristan Walker (because I tried to redraw it, very unsuccessfully). I go check a map and every time am met by Ibex just. staring at me. It's unsettling
Some of the many options for how Apostolosian gender could have been presented:
Apostolosians prefer to be addressed by the most neutral available human pronoun, represented as "they" in English, because the human languages don't have anything close enough
Apostolosian pronouns are represented in English by a set of real-life common pronouns and neopronouns
There's a list of Apostolosian pronouns and they're just used in English verbatim (Really impractical because the players need a cheat sheet, but the most fair)
Humans apply human genders to Apostolosians. Apostolosians may be offended, may find it convenient, or something else
As Austin said in the post-mortem, the Eidolon system is not gender. It's represented in English by titles/honorifics/etc
Any of the above, and the creators are aware of the difference between personal pronouns, grammatical gender, and social gender
And that’s not even touching the core problem of what the concept of gender in a futuristic, techonologically advanced society would look like. Yes, I'm complaining about this for the third time but I'm just. So tired of native English speakers' takes on gendered language. They could have made Apostolosian gender look like anything and they made it look like that fucking mess... God, I really hope TM is good enough to make me forget and forgive the experience of listening to “he... sorry, they” for 100 hours. [Note from present me: Well… mostly]
Here’s my take on this: eidolons in Apostolosian language are absurdly broad noun classes with associated classifiers (which fits both the idea that they’re gender but not actually, and that each of them is a patron to several unrelated aspects of life) Apostolosian: the word “(Apo)thesa” is used to refer to people who follow the corresponding eidolon, as well as for counting buildings, heavy machinery, military units, specific strategies and tactics, log entries, historical documents and chronicles, history textbooks and monographs, and eras :) Human: what the fuck
Very critical, imaginative worldbuilding in which 80,000+ years into the future humanity somehow has 21st century gender and 21st century capitalism! TBH, I find any sci-fi set in the far future inherently silly – we can’t really imagine the future technogy and its effect on society. But it feels like C/w barely even tried, and to hear it boast about “critical worldbuilding” is kinda strange. I assumed that meant they build the world critically, not that they recreate modern society or some aspect of it and criticize that! It’s just another Star Trek then! And it was already clear right during the setup when they said “We don’t want Star Trek aliens” and immediately created Apostolosians.
I haven't seen a single piece of fanart with Taako and Mako. Come on, does nobody want to see these two next to each other! Especially considering the outfits artists like to put Taako in!
I really don't understand how and why people do fandom activities on Twitter and Discord where the creators also have accounts. It gives me so much secondhand embarrassment. I can barely peek at Twitter posts before running away. Old-fashioned opinion apparently but I strongly believe the main fandom space and the interaction-with-original-creators space should be separate. I need a space where I can voice my opinions, especially negative ones, with complete freedom. I need to be able to say exactly what's on my mind. But I wouldn't want any of the people on the podcast to read something unfiltered like my complaints above. Being in the same space as the source content creators obliges any decent person to be diplomatic and constructive. And the creators, in turn, need a space where they don't come across complete randos yelling at them about something they said in a podcast three years ago. I'm already feeling uncomfortable because hearing to strangers pour their hearts out for hundreds of hours gives me way too much insight on who they are as people. Of course, nothing’s stopping them from lurking on Tumblr or AO3 and even reading this very post, but a platform where they have official accounts is still a different thing! I even feel uncomfortable talking about the podcast creators using their first names so much. To my ear, referring to a total stranger by first name, especially if it's a shortened form, sounds so rude! I'm not their friend, I don't have that right! But, of course, writing something like “Mr Walker” in my liveblogs would have been even weirder, nobody does that...
Is it a common experience to not even think about fanfiction after listening to Hieron, but going straight to AO3 after C/w? I feel like since Hieron is still a work in progress, writing/reading about it is stepping on the GM&players' toes, and C/w is finished so it's like they gave us the keys to the playground, it's the fandom's turn now. This story has so much blanks and they must be filled! In one of the early episodes they joked that something cute they said would encourage people to ship Mako/Cass and I was like "Bold of you to assume they aren't already" and, indeed, I was right and it's the most popular C/w ship on AO3. Too bad I’m so indifferent to it…
It’s a shame we never had a full scene with Ariadne or even learned what they were up to during the finale.
I still don't understand how Ibex went from “evil CEO” to “leader of a proletarian revolution”, these sound like completely opposite concepts to me
I probably have talked about this too much and have pretty much given up on ever getting a clear picture due to all of these reimaginings but… Righteousness and Voice… Ibex takes Righteousness out of Mako but he still has Voice, that was pretty much openly stated, correct? So how does that work? I’m guessing Righteousness is hidden somewhere in Voice’s code. But if so:
Did Maryland know? On the one hand, she’s too competent not to. On the other, why would she ever allow or accept that?
How did Righteousness not get corrupted by Rigour too? Maybe it did, but broke off the connection with the rest of itself to contain the damage? Or maybe, on the contrary, it kept in contact and was sending intel to Ibex the whole time? But in that case he would have provided more help in the finale.
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putschki1969 · 7 years ago
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Kalafina 10th Anniversary Film Interviews ~ Highlights/Summary/Translation
Source 1: https://www.animatetimes.com/news/details.php?id=1520904726 Source 2: https://spice.eplus.jp/articles/178230 Source 3: https://news.walkerplus.com/article/139920/
Note: These interviews contain quite a lot of interesting info so I thought I’d provide a summary/translation of all the juicy bits (details regarding the movie’s content, some background info on their 10th Anniversary Live, a glimpse at ‘their future’!)
~ Regarding their 10th Anniversary Film ~
The film will have a runtime of 1h 40 minutes
According to Keiko it apparently contains a lot more live footage than anyone expected
Wakana says the film is packed with live performances from their 10th Anniversary Live (which has me quite worried because maybe all these cameras were only there to film footage for the movie after all o.O I definitely didn’t expect them to show THAT much of the live in their documentary. I am assuming this will be similar to their 5th Anniversary WOWOW release which showed a total of 11 songs...)
One of the songs is most likely “sprinter”
This film will include solo interviews. Aside from that there will also be an interview with the director 河東茂 (I have no idea how to read his name, my best guess would be Kato/Kawahigashi Shige.) Seems like the girls have become pretty close to the director, they were a bit intimidated by the prospect of having a director around them all the time but he immediately let them know that formalities were not necessary. They are even on a first name basis! The girls have only good things to say about him, apparently he always made sure they were comfortable.
Big sections of the movie will be dedicated to following each member to important places of their past. Hikaru considers those parts the most interesting aspects of the film. Seems like they learned a lot about each other while watching these solo scenes. This also applies to the footage we get of their solo rehearsal sessions.
On the day of their Fukuoka Acoustic Tour performance they filmed Wakana’s section. Wakana is taking us along to visit Tenjin, a popular downtown area in Fukuoka. Apparently we will get a glimpse at a place where she used to work part-time and a club where she used to perform on a regular basis.
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Keiko is taking us along to Shibuya. However, it seems like it wasn’t a particularly nostalgic experience for her. She says everything in Tokyo changes so rapidly, none of the places she used to frequent exist anymore. She actually felt quite lost when she walked around the area. However it did feel nice to walk down the streets where she used to go home from vocal training school back in the day.
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Hikaru says that contrary to Tokyo, nothing ever really changes in her hometown in Toyama. She takes us along to a YAMAHA place where she used to take vocal lessons. She says everything still looks the same. Keiko comments that after watching the movie, everyone will want to go there and take lessons. Alas, the music classes are no longer offered but you can still check out the place. As we have already seen in the trailer, Hikaru’s section also includes footage from their acoustic live. It’s very special because we get to see Hikaru cry which is a rare thing to happen. Both Keiko and Wakana think it’s great that this special moment will forever be captured on film. Even staff and band members were surprised to see her cry this much. Hikaru suspects it’s because she was visiting all these nostalgic locations earlier in the day. There’s also mention of a funny moment during one of the MCs when Hikaru was talking. Keiko is seen turning away and seemingly ignoring Hikaru. Keiko was quite shocked to find out that scene had made it into the final cut. She was like, “why are you showing this moment where you can only see my back? Why couldn’t I just stand there and support Hikaru the same way as Wakana? Why was I talking to the freaking wall???” (LOL at Keiko worrying about such things) At the end of the day Keiko is happy though because they managed to include so much lovely footage from Hikaru’s “triumphal return performance”.
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Hikaru’s favourite scene in the movie is the opening scene when we get to see them walk up the stairs onto the stage of Budokan. She thinks it’s so perfect because it somehow symbolises the progress they have made. Just looking at the backs of the other two members conveys their will to move forward. She doesn’t even have to see their faces to be motivated, she will pretty much follow them everywhere. It’s so funny because the interviewer gets all cheeky and says, "but it’s not really your backs we are seeing, it’s your legs!” Keiko thinks that’s hilarious and explains that Hikaru is just too innocent to talk about legs so she would rather use the word ‘back’. Anyways, Keiko agrees that it’s very fitting that a movie about all the progress they have made would start with a ‘leg scene’.
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Another scene that’s precious to all of them contains footage of one of their Janken sessions for the recording of their regular radio show Kalafina Club. Apparently something super funny happened, something that has NEVER happened before, Everyone should be looking forward to that scene because it's absolutely hilarious. And Keiko wants us all to know that it definitely wasn’t staged or anything. (I wonder which episode it was and if that incident made it into the final cut of the episode. In the trailer when you see them playing Janken, it says it’s the 25th on that ‘face training’ calendar but I am not sure which month.)
Something else to look forward to: A detailed scene of them changing outfits during their 10th Anniversary Live (including all the mistakes that can happen in such situations). Wakana explains that everything always seems so peaceful to the audience while the band is playing but their outfit changes are actually crazy stressful (I guess we already got a glimpse of that during the Best Documentary but this time we’ll get to see even more). Apparently Wakana had quite some trouble with her outfit, first she forgot something (I am assuming it was her big tulle skirt attached to the corsage thingy) and then the zipper wouldn’t work. *poor Wa-chan*
~ Regarding their 10th Anniversary LIVE ~
I am guessing these are things that will be mentioned in the film in some way, shape or form but for all of us who won’t be seeing the movie any time soon, here are some background infos regarding their anniversary concert.
Hikaru was the one who chose the BGM for the intermission. (I wonder if that means that she always gets to pick it)
Wakana says that even though they sang 27 songs (without really getting any proper breaks) she never felt tired or exhausted. Her throat and singing voice may have gotten a little tired throughout the live (she is only human after all) but her body seemed to have endless energy. She says it’s thanks to the past year where they kept creating amazing lives together with their audiences.
The setlist was changed quite extensively shortly before the live. There’s a scene in the movie where they talk about their setlist and apparently that is quite different from what they actually ended up performing (I think that mostly refers to the order of the songs).
Originally they had planned to start their live with “oblivious” but in the end they thought “ring your bell” would be more fitting because it pretty much represents the theme of putting their flag in a new place. The whole “flag” theme first came up when Yuki Kajiura mentioned it a few years ago while they prepared for their first Budokan Live. Yuki Kajiura told them that they should be proud that they finally get to plant their flag in such a special venue. Seems like this talk also inspired the PV for “ring your bell” (and possibly even the lyrics for “Koibito no Mukashigatari no Yuugure no”??). Following their first Budokan Live, the flag theme became a pretty big deal for them. From then onwards the act of putting their flag in new places became a manifestion of their intentions. That’s how they came up for the theme of their “far on the water” tour. So yes, it seemed very appropriate to them to continue with this flag theme for their 10th Anniversary. And that’s the story of how “ring your bell” ended up being the opening song (because it’s their trademark “flag” song :P). [I was right all along about the whole flag theme]. They decided to pick “Mirai” as their second song because they thought it was perfect to go out and greet the audience with smiles on their faces. It was also a nice way to reflect upon their past.
~ Regarding Kalafina’s future ~
There’s one section in the SPICE interview where they talk about their future. In light of recent events there are many ways to interpret this part. I am not sure what to make of it but I thought I’d provide a translation so you can all decide for yourself what their answers could possibly mean. As always, please be aware that my Japanese is not perfect (this was a pretty quick translation and I might go back later to edit it).
―― Now that you have celebrated your 10th Anniversary, how will Kalafina spend the rest of 2018, how would the three of you like to spend 2018?
Wakana: The ten years we have exprienced together are precious to us, right now we are living a future we couldn’t have ever imagined when we first debuted. I never thought we would celebrate our 10th Anniversary together with everyone at Nippon Budokan. Originally we didn’t even expect to ever perform live with band members. To think that we have come this far and that we got the chance to introduce Kalafina’s music to so many people makes me incredibly happy. It feels like what the three of us have always dreamed about, our shared dream, has come true. We wanted to do lives, we wanted to do tours, these were aspirations born out of our burning passion, that was our wish so that’s why we were able to get this far and why we were willing to continue onwards through all the hardships.
―― I see. 
Wakana: So far the three of us have lived with the same dream in front of our eyes. But the three of us also have a lot of curiousity when it comes to our individual dreams. As Kalafina we have had so many dreams and together we have seen them all come true so now I would like to get a glimpse of different dreams, of all the dreams the other two have. Very reminiscent of the lyrics of “I have a dream”. I wonder what those dreams will be.
―― So even if you weren’t 100% on the same page all the time, you have always been active working in unison?
Wakana: Yes, we have always pretty much worked towards the same vision. That’s why I am interested in more personal perspectives.
Hikaru: That’s right. Even after ten years I still have a long way to go so I would like to use this year for self-improvement. What else...? Personally, I still want to learn and absorb so many things, my thirst is insatiable. I am able to say that doing this job has made my dream come true but it is only one dream that has come true, beyond that I think many more things are necessary so I can continue to make my other dreams come true.That’s why I want to improve myself so that one by one I will become able to do all the things I want to do. I’d also like to improve my personal live.
Keiko: You can definitely do that!
―― What about Keiko-san?
Keiko: I have changed so much during our 10-year activity as Kalafina so now I am asking myself whether I can change even further. I am my current self because of these past ten years but to make progress even beyond those ten years, I would like to encounter more genuine works, I would like to create music that I find real, that I am enchanted with. Our activities as Kalafina singing Yuki Kajiura’s music, it was a time spent delving into something genuine together with everyone. It’s amazing to lead a life where you can pursue something that feels worthy of being pursued.
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legendsmag · 5 years ago
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Working in the Legends office, with that majestic laminated press badge, often puts you into the heart of the action. This has proven itself a few times over my decade long career under the Legends Magazine press circuit. None of my simple hour-long interview assignments, however, have ever yielded such unexpected and high-density results. That's exactly what happened when I sat down with four-piece Pop/RnB group PHASES, to discuss their new place on the Top Ten chart, their poor reputation as a band, and the future of their work.
Let this be a warning that should you ever approach a group of twenty-somethings with the reputations that a Punk fifteen-year-old might look up to, they will quickly derail any conversation into sexually transmitted diseases, murder, and namedropping the celebrities that they'd like to sleep with.
PHASES just recently experienced it's first-ever Top Ten single, despite having been releasing quite regularly. How does it feel to have finally made it into the top of the chart?
Marco Right: “I’ve spent a lot of time calling out the chart and how little it means to the people on it. So it seems really backwards for me to then say ‘this is so important to us, it means so much’ but the truth is that it does for us. We’re still a pretty small band, especially in comparison to the other people on that chart. So having that kind of recognition helps us by allowing us to continue releasing music.
Ace Lafleur: “It really gives some sort of validation that I didn’t think I needed. We enjoy the music we create and we know our fans do as well but to finally be getting recognized for it on a bigger scale is something I, personally, never expected. But it’s great. The more people that hear our music, and like it the more we can do in the future.”
M: “I mean, Essence Woods - uh, Penny Lane: they’re gonna keep releasing music anyway. Whether they get into the top or not. But it really makes a world of difference to us.”
Bowie Hendrix: “I agree with [Marco]*, on the whole, calling out the chart thing--it really just seems more like a popularity contest most of the time more than anything, but [expletive]**, being on it? Finally being /apart/ of the popularity contest? Feels pretty amazing, because like Ace and [Marco]* said, we’re a small band and this isn’t something we expected, but it means exposure, it means more people knowing our music and perhaps connecting to it, and honestly that’s huge.”
Are there any reservations about being in the Top Ten?
A: “Other than the pop stars of the world sending their hitman out to get us? No. Not for me at least.”
B: “I’m a little worried that Austin Harper is going to slit my throat in my sleep now, but otherwise, nah.”
Ezra Addams: “I feel like just saying that is going to make him sic a hitman on us.”
M: “Not if I get him first. Austin Harper: square up.” †
A: “Bowie and Ezra would like that too much. Those Camisado fangirls.”
B: “Yes, actually, being murdered by Austin Harper is my kink.”
E: “Now Essence Woods is gonna kill us, too.  Thanks for that.”
M: “That happened in a dream I had. She can call me if she wants to, we can chat about it.”
A: “Now that’s a terrifying thought. Having to interact with Essence about anything ever.”
E: “I like being played on the radio so love you Austin and Essence and Penny! Don’t listen to them.”
A: “Suck up”
B: “I mean, if Austin would let me, I’d [expletive] something of his, if you know what I mean.”
A: “Maybe after Essence steals all his money and ruins his life you can have your way with him. Just wait like six months.”
M: “If they’re ever feeling adventurous, I’m on call.”
E: “I can’t wait to see who husband number three is gonna be after she sucks this one dry of all the money and runs.”
M: “I’m broke as [expletive]  but I got a great life insurance policy. Let’s give this a shot.”
E: “What he’s trying to say is /Essence/ - whenever you’re looking for husband number three Marco is here and ready. We love attention.”
The band seems infamous for the lyrical content of your music, with protests happening outside of some shows. Which of course is amplified because of the kinds of reputations that each of the band’s members has. Do you ever feel like you're glamorizing drug use and casual sex?
A: “We’re not your cookie cutter boy band looking to become the next role model. We write what we know and what our fans know and if other people relate to it that’s great. But as far as glamorizing it? No. I don’t think that’s what we’re doing at all.”
E: “If people take it as glamorizing, then there is very little we can do about that. We're not telling anyone to actually do drugs. Most of our listeners are adults who are more than capable of making their own decisions.”
M: “In order to glamorize it, we would have to be talking about how cool it is. We don’t do that. We’re too busy talking about other shit that just so happens to involve that stuff. I think there have been quite a few lines where we straight out say that it’s a bad idea. So I don’t know how we would be glamorizing it.”
B: “What’s that Love, Actually quote? “Don’t do drugs, become a pop star and they give them to you for free”? I feel like that would be glamorizing. We’re just writing about what may or may not be our own personal experiences with those things, not telling other people to go out and follow our leads. Which, to be honest: 3/10, would not recommend.”
What would you say to people who protest at your shows or Twitter users who think that your band is "problematic"?
A: “Thanks for the free publicity? No, seriously. The people who protest, they’ve heard the music clearly or they wouldn’t make the signs with our lyrics on them with those giant x’s. So whether they like us or not, they’re still adding to that total spin count. So thanks to the haters. We appreciate you.”
M: “I personally enjoy the entertainment. It’s a lot of fun to have a huge group of people outside who are ready and willing to stare you down and have it out, face-to-face. How many people can say that people travel all sorts of distances to protest them? But as far as what I would say? Probably thanks. And also: [expletive] you.”
A: “I thought you weren’t just [expletive] whoever anymore Marco?”
M: “It’s a different kind of [expletive]. It’s like a hate [expletive], but more loathsome.”
B: “What the [expletive] is more loathsome than a hate [expletive]?? But listen, okay, protests just draw more attention, and I don’t really give a [expletive] what some bored mom on Twitter thinks of us. Bad publicity is still publicity, babe, and it’s still giving us views and listens and putting our name in people’s mouths. At the end of the day, I feel like it does us more good than ill.”
The last single was "NUMB TO THE FEELING", and this new single is "LIKE A ROCKSTAR". Both of which are still heavily describing drug use as a coping mechanism for things like anxiety and depression. So what exactly is the lesson that you hope for younger listeners to take away from these releases?
A: “I didn’t start creating music in the hopes of guiding the youth of tomorrow.”
B: “I would be terrified of you as a role model, honestly.”
A: “What? I’d be a great role model!”
B: “Kids, don’t listen to your uncle Ace, okay. Just don’t ever do the [expletive] he does.”
M: “I hope that they learn an important lesson, which is: stop buying the pop [expletive] and just buy our record instead. It’s cool as [expletive]. Your friends will love it.”
B: “Listen, people deal with shit in their own way, right? And sometimes that way isn’t [expletive] healthy or whatever, but it’s still a coping mechanism and you do what you have to do to get through tough [expletive]. We’re not, like we said, glamorizing drug use - but if this is what works for us, then who the [expletive] are any of you to tell us differently?”
M: “On a more serious note, I do think that there’s probably some misconceptions about how kids begin to take an interest in just checking out. Music isn’t really the thing that does it. Most of the time there are some really serious things going on and for whatever reason, they’re not being offered alternatives. I would hope that if people are actually listening to pick this [expletive] apart, then they’ll pick that apart, too.”
B: “Thank you for putting that much more eloquently than I could, you extreme show-off.”
E: “On another serious note - we’re not your babysitters. Talk to your kids about drugs if you don’t want them to do drugs.”
Because so much of PHASES comes from personal experience, what will the band sound like once you get married, have kids, or "settle down"?
A: “Oh [expletive]. Sorry, Ezra. I didn’t realize you got divorced”
E: “I’m married, not dead. We sound the same because being married doesn’t mean you’re suddenly boring.”
B: “Did you forget that Ezra is married? Because that man is married as hell. And we still sound like this. So, I feel like that’s part of your answer, right there. Ace is like half-dating MJ Kirsch all the time which would mean they’re basically settled down. We’re gonna sound like this all the time, my dude.”
A: “[expletive] off Bowie. You’re practically married to what’s his face.”
B: “Excuse you, we’ve been broken up for a year, we’re just casually [expletive] at this point.”
M: “Casually [expletive] or not, there’s a very big chance that Bowie will be married and have six kids before the next record hits. And I think that record will sound exactly the same as this one, but hopefully with more references to sex.”
B: “Why am I the one who’s gonna have six kids?? That sounds like my personal hell.”
These singles lead for the next album, but what exactly will come next?
B: “Oh, you know, we thought we’d do a cooking show next. Like a real-life Breaking Bad, show kids how to make drugs. No, I’m kidding. It’s [going to be] more music.”
A: “Rehab.”
B: “Oh, wait, I forgot that Ace and MJ are going to make a Disney album together. He’s Prince Eric, she’s Ariel.”
A: “Excuse you. I’m Prince Charming. Get your facts straight”
B: “Yeah, okay, babe, whatever you say. That would make MJ Cinderella, though, and that [expletive] is boring as [expletive]. Let your girlfriend be a cool princess!”
A: “You know what’s boring as [expletive]?”
B: “The fact that you’re still talking?”
A: “[expletive] off.”
M: “They wanna kiss each other so bad, look at them.”
B: “Ace, come here, let me kiss you!!”
A: “Anyone have some mouthwash? I can’t kiss him until he’s been thoroughly disinfected.”
B: “Wow, rude. I currently have no STI’s, thanks.”
A: “That you know of.”
M: “I can confirm for him. He’s clean like one of those little white glove test things.”
B: “You’re my favorite, Marco.”
(At this point, Ezra looks up from his text messaging, which he'd been doing a lot throughout the interview.)
E: “Are you guys still [expletive] talking?”
B: “Ezra! Pay attention to me!”
E: “/Bowie/, [expletive] off.”
A: “Any more questions?”
E: “I have one.”
A: “Then I guess we’re done here.”
E: “That is so mean. I’m nothing but nice to your dumbass.”
A: “Ugh. Fine. What do you want to add, Ezra?”
E: “Where are we going to eat when we get out of here?”
A: “I thought that’s what you were doing on your phone this whole time! You weren’t ordering us food? [expletive]!”
E: “If I was ordering food it’d just be for me. I don’t like you guys that much.”
The new single from PHASES, "LIKE A ROCKSTAR" is out wherever digital music is sold or streamed July 6.
* Multiple times during the interview, Bowie Hendrix made the decision to call Marco Right "Marcus", which may be fundamentally confusing for readers.
** The band cursed almost as much as they provided responses. The uncensored interview in its entirety can be read in the printed issue.
† Legends Magazine does not agree with or condone any speech, threats, or actions taken by any person interviewed or featured within its publication.
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danschkade · 7 years ago
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PAGE x PAGE ANALYSIS -- BATMAN: GOTHAM ADVENTURES #1 (PART TWO)
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PUBLISHED: DC Comics, June 1998
SCRIPT: TY Templeton
PENCILS: Rick Burchett
INKS: Terry Beatty
COLORS: Lee Loughridge
LETTERS: Tim Harkins
EDITORIAL: Darren Vincenzo
Picking up where we left off last week, we’re gonna dive back into1998′s BATMAN: GOTHAM ADVENTURES #1. You can check out part one here, but for those with time against them, the setup of the issue is: The Joker has killed the only son of industrialist G. Douglas Reid, who has put a fifty million dollar bounty on the killer clown’s head. With all of Gotham gunning for the reward, Batman and his affiliates have taken the Joker into their private custody until they can resolve the situation. With Batgirl guarding the Joker in the Batcave, Batman and Robin head off to answer a Bat Signal from Commissioner Gordon. We’re eleven pages in. 
Along with the regular discussion of story flow and scene direction, I’m also gonna get really into some tiny moving parts that particularly interested me as an artist. That might ultimately make this one of the dryer entires in this feature, but hey -- if you wanna skim through the analysis and just enjoy some great pages, friend of mine, it’s okay by me.
BATMAN: GOTHAM ADVENTURES #1 and all characters contained therein are property of DC Comics, reproduced here solely for educational purposes.
***
PAGE TWELVE
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Such a good design on that little Riddler iPod Shuffle (hereafter referred to as a “?Pod”). The question mark motif is clear enough to read, while still subtle enough to keep from being distracting.  Loughridge does a good job of keeping the vibrant greens of the ?Pod distinct from the soft greens of Reid’s office in panel two. Burchett choses to include the Riddler’s staff on the ?Pod screen, which makes him immediately recognizable as the classic Batman villain and visually echoes the ?Pod’s design, helping us catch the motif. 
Props to Bruce Timm for giving each of the Batfamily distinctive mask eyes, so they can be easily identifiable even in the shadows. 
I’d also like to point out something so small it might even be an accident, but something I’ll definitely be using in the future: the different way Reid and Gordon hold their phones. 
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The angle of Reid’s hand in panel one suggests he’s holding the handset microphone closer to his mouth so he can better make his demands. His posture in panel two emphasizes the anger he feels, the power he’s trying to assert. 
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Compare with the angle of Gordon’s right hand, turning the handset so that the speaker is closer to his ear. Added to the way he’s gesturing with is other hand, this clearly shows us a man who’s trying hard to reason with somebody who just doesn’t want to hear him. 
Try acting this out yourself -- imagining how you’d have to be talking to be holding a phone in each of these two ways. Like I said, it’s small, but it’s some real fine acting. 
PAGE THIRTEEN
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The ?Pod’s great design continues to help us out in the first panel -- it’s distinctive screen becomes an easily identifiable panel shape. Since the rest of the scene takes place in a green/teal environment, Loughridge gives that first panel a red boarder to help break up the scene. See also; the magenta sky. 
There’s an interesting relationship between the Batmobiles in panels two and six. Here’s the page again, simplified to just those two panels:
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See how the front bumper (gouger?) of the panel two Batmobile asserts itself over panel five? Somehow, this doesn’t interfere with the reading flow. Maybe it’s the simple black shape of the bumper, encouraging you to view it more as graphic element than a pice of diegetic matter. Or maybe it’s because the Batmobile is essentially a location, so we don’t expect it to interact with Batman and Robin inside -- and as a result, it doesn’t throw us when we see it encroach into their space. See also: the Uptown sign in panel seven. 
Furthermore! The panel seven Batmobile’s rear fin creeps all the way back into panel two. It’s definitely purposeful -- it’d be easy to avoid with a very minor alteration in the angles of the cars so that they fit entirely within the panel borders. So why this atypical staging? It’s certainly a lively layout, for one thing. For another, liberating the Batmobile from the bounds of panel boarders makes it feel fast and powerful -- driving at liberty all over the page. 
PAGE FOURTEEN
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Look at that great smirk in panel three. The New Adventures redesign of the Riddler has nothing on the amazing sport coat and slacks look of the original, but it does have a certain stripped-down charm. It’s clean, distinctive, and devoid of redundancies. 
This scene suffers some a little bit of messy geography, as we’ll soon see. For now, just take note of the balcony railing at the bottom of panel one, which is unquestionably where the gunmen are in panel four. 
PAGE FIFTEEN
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“Or merchandise worth an equivalent amount.” Templeton immediately ties the Riddler subplot to the main Joker narrative. Again, everything in this comic radiates from the clown prince’s murder of Reid’s son. The universe of the comic feels huge, but also connected. 
The Riddler’s pose in panel two is his question mark motif writ large. Lowering himself on that ball, the “dot” in the question mark of his body, is a really good visual idea. Unfortunately, it’s at the heart of the geography problem in this scene.  
But before we get to that, I want to point out a great example of setting up, execution, and finishing off an action: in panel one, the Riddler uses his cane to pull the rope towards him -- the setup. In panel two, he descends on the rope -- the execution. Then, in panel three, he’s still touching the ball -- finishing off the action.
PAGE SIXTEEN
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Burchett makes great use of negative space to increase the tension of the Riddler’s countdown in the last two panels. 
Sidebar: I’m remembering this bit from a Dan Olson video about -- don’t freak out now -- Triumph of The Will and the Cinematic Language of Propaganda, where he talks about the paradoxical perception strength and weakness of the enemy as viewed by fascism. Check out this segment of his video, and watch until about 10:50. It’s only a minute of video, and it’s interesting food for thought when viewed in the context of how to depict super villains, especially trickster-style villains like the Riddler (see also: Loki, Mysterio, or the Flash rogue who’s actually called ‘The Trickster’). Just try not to overthink the Nazi stuff. 
PAGE SEVENTEEN
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We jump from a panel of the Riddler to a panel of the Joker. Note how both of them are looking straight at us, both gesturing with their left hands -- the Joker’s even echoing Riddler’s countdown with his “Quarter to three” lyric. All of this means that we get to ride the tension of the Riddler scene right into this one, and multiply it by the demonstrably greater potential danger posed by the Joker. 
The scene wrings extra tension out of the metatextual history that exists between Barbara Gordon/Batgirl and the Joker in the mainline DC universe. Even without that, we feel the threat he poses to her by the way he’s staged on the page. Look how the Joker dominates the layout: In Fig. 1 below, we have all the Joker panel appearances and dialogue (darkened so as to make the contrast more apparent), and all of Batgirl’s in Fig. 2. 
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He’s a talker, alright. But this serves another purpose as well: it reminds us that Batgirl is isolated -- trapped in that space with the Joker. 
PAGE EIGHTEEN
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On this page, the creative team and the clown prince have the same objective -- they’re trying to draw us/Batgirl in, commanding our attention, using a repetitive visual/verbal rhythm to hold our/her attention. The rhythm breaks when the Joker reveals his little magic trick in the final panel; on the art level, this is achieved by having the Joker break the panel border, along with the sudden snap to red. 
PAGE NINETEEN
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The intensity spikes with this page, both through the warmer colors and the more action-y diagonal gutters. Some clever staging here; Burchett is able to convey Batgirl’s jump in the first panel by showing us the railing behind the Joker, giving us a concrete landmark by which to place her in space. 
Check out the motion lines Burchett and Beatty have given us here; see how no two actions take place along the same axis, creating a ton of energy on the page.
That black silhouette in the last panel is as gritty as this comic gets, but Burchett keeps it respectable by only showing the Joker, not the Batgirl he’s clobbering. On the next page, it’s immediately made clear she’s just knocked out, not fully Jason Todded. 
Also, props of everybody for never messing up which of the Joker’s hands was cuffed. It’s the easiest thing in the world to accidentally switch it up, especially when a character turns their back to the reader. 
PAGE TWENTY
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The Joker is now free to move about the Batcave -- Burchett gives us a detailed look at the cave in panel one so that we viscerally feel this dangerous new liberty. He breaks the panel boarder again in panel two, which adds to that great double exposure as he sees the Batcave entrance. Sure, he saw it earlier when Alfred was coming down the steps, but it’s still a great moment. And anyway, it’s the Joker -- maybe he just forgot about it in all the excitement. Who’s to say?
PAGE TWENTY ONE
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And we’re back. Here’s the heart of the geography problem -- or at the very least, a continuity problem. Back on pages fourteen and fifteen, we saw the Riddler’s goons are up on the balcony, along with him. 
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The Riddler then descends to the stage where Batman and Robin are standing. He then begins a one-two-three countdown; we leave the scene when he’s on two. Now he’s about to count three, and suddenly the goons are on the stage as well. 
Gunfights are logistically tricky in any medium, especially when your heroes are unarmed. In this instance, the goons had to be down onto the stage so that Batman and Robin could realistically (”realistically”) take them on hand to hand. But since we never saw them descend to the stage, nor would they have had enough time to believably get there via stairs or whatever, their sudden appearance on the stage is very jarring. 
A fix; in panel three on page fifteen, pictured below, we just have the goons descending on their own ropes.
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If they’re fully rendered, they can be placed behind Robin, The Riddler, and Batman without interfering with their silhouettes. 
PAGE TWENTY TWO
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This is real solid action blocking. First panel has Batman in the foreground, Robin in the back. Batman’s punch leads organically into panel two, perpendicular to Robin’s kick -- now he’s in the foreground, with Batman in back. In each panel, they have their own fights on their own planes of movement, making the space feel huge. It’s a very short, simple fight scene, but this variety of staging from panel to panel makes it feel much bigger than it actually is. 
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Burchett also manages to maintain a consistent rightward movement throughout. It totally feels like Batman and Robin are just tearing through these guys, and the uniform direction of movement is a big part of that.
PAGE TWENTY THREE
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Back to Wayne Manor with this very cool page. Check out how the action funnels towards the bottom: 
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By placing the Map to Movie Star Homes where he has, Burchett guides the eye back to the central axis of the page. The action then travel’s straight down the central axis, getting narrower and narrower panel by panel, from the Joker’s wide stance to Alfred’s tactical crouch.
(The vibrating tea tray is a very nice touch.)
PAGE TWENTY FOUR
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Wobbly panel shape as a shorthand for a woozy character coming back to lucidity is an evergreen technique. I’m also a big fan of the popping bubbles thing, but your milage may vary. When Batgirl comes back to full consciousness in panel three, Burchett cuts to a wide shot, soberly showing us all the characters in relation to each other, which is a great way to indicate a return to reality. We end this subplot, which preyed on themes of isolation and home-invasion danger, with Batgirl and Alfred standing together. An satisfying emotional mini-arc -- and appropriately, Alfred gets a joke in on the Joker. 
***
You can get this entire issue -- for free! -- on Comixology, along with every other issue of GOTHAM ADVENTURES for around a buck apiece.
For a couple of my own comic creator bona fides, check out WILL EISNER’S THE SPIRIT RETURNS and SAN HANNIBAL, and pre-order the trade collection for BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: GODS AND MONSTERS.
Additional content can be found on my website, danschkade.com, as well as my twitter!
Be well, talk soon, etc
PREVIOUS PAGE x PAGE ANALYSES:
BATMAN: GOTHAM ADVENTURES #1 (Part One)
GANGBUSTER: SWING ANNA MISS
MINI-ANALYSIS — FIRST SIGHTING: SUPERBOY
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #69 (with Aud Koch)
THE SHADOW STRIKES! #13
PETER PARKER: SPIDER-MAN #13
BATMAN: GOTHAM ADVENTURES #17
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george-sykes86 · 8 years ago
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Weird towns, camping and lots of penguins
This next instalment comes after a week which has been filled with action. Despite only having been away for two weeks it feels like we have already crammed in a months worth of activities and the prospect of getting up and going to work is a distant memory. The crossing into Patagonia 'proper' to Puerto Natales was impressionable. The bus stopped at the immigration point on the border to have bags searched etc. Leaving the warm comforts of the bus, we stepped out into blustering gales, rain, rather bleak seemingly endless baron landscape and a portacabin. At this point I did think.. why on earth did we leave the warm cultural splendours of Buenos Aires and central Argentina?! This thought was further emphasised when we arrived in Puerto Natales (still pouring).Probably the strangest place I've ever been... Imagine if you will a cross between a ski chalet village and a tin shantytown and that's sort of what this place looked like, and at this time of the day deserted. However, waking the next morning we were greeted with something relatively rare in Patagonia- SUNSHINE. Suddenly, this odd place seemed somewhat charming and we were ready to set on our quest to try and find a way of entering the nearby national park, whose complicated booking system made it like Fort Knox of Chile. With all the campsites full and the town filled with disconsolate visitors desperate for even one night in the park we didn’t hold out much hope. After visiting the main park office it was looking like our only options were to either pay for a couple of nights in hostels in the park at the price of a central London hotel or alternatively chance our arm and head into the park and hope the rangers took pity on us and allowed us to stay in the free campsites. As we sat in the office of Fantastico Sur, the company with the only remaining availability, desperately trying to piece together some sort of a trip and our wallets groaning in our pockets the door swung open and two Brazilian angels entered. In this brilliant bit of serendipity they had two nights camping to sell, which aligned perfectly with some other availability meaning we were going to be able to get 4 nights in the park. It’s safe to say we almost bit their hand off for the bookings. With bookings stowed away it was off to the supermarket to buy provisions then to the outdoor shop to rent some fairly ancient camping gear. We were feeling pretty smug at this point and filled with enthusiasm for what the next 5 days had in store for us. Despite a few delays getting across to the starting line, we made quick progress through to the first checkpoint and were feeling confident of being at our camp well ahead of schedule. Then the trail got steep, the footing became rocky and the wind picked up. Progress was slow! It was during this last stint that my lack of aerodynamic form led to a gust blowing me across the rocks and unfortunately her ankle took the brunt of the incident. We eventually hobbled into camp with the rain coming down and the wind howling only to be lead past the lovely sheltered woodland camp spots to our pitch for the night, a wooden platform set out in the open with full exposure to the elements and whose only redeeming feature was it’s proximity to the toilets. The tent went up quickly and we piled into the dining area of the Refugio to be treated to a delicious three course meal of log life food which even featured an old favourite, Angel delight. That was as good as the evening got. George's well honed ability to sleep served him well but I had a night to forget. With the wind gusting still gusting at 70mph and the rain coming down heavily, conditions in the tent were tense. Every few minutes you could hear the wind building from high in the valley and the noise grew louder and louder like a oncoming stampede. Then it would hit! The tent, staked down and covered in boulders to hold it down, was rattled from side to side and the wooden platform shuddered beneath our matts. A 4am call of nature was like going over the top at the Somme. Well rested and suitably smug, George woke to find me white as a sheet, huddled in every item of clothing I brought, mumbling discontent. Ah well at least it was breakfast time!! Day two was an absolute triumph- fantastic lakeside views all day, minimal aches and we strode into a fantastic campsite where the tent fairies had already set up our abode ahead of arrival. This was topped off by a warm shower- a very welcome surprise after the previous nights experience where one had to dangle each limb in the shower for a few seconds at a time to survive the glacial waters. Day three; smugness gone. Awoke with ankle feeling like someone had taken a hammer to it. The first part of the morning was a very steep scramble up uneven paths and giant boulders. OWW- enough said.All discontent was forgot when we landed at the Mirador del Torres, breathtakingly beautiful! after a night of storms we arrived to see the highlight of the park and its glistening turquoise waters in perfect sunshine. WOW- just so beautiful, 8 understand why it is considered the highlight of Chile, captured on the notes. If only we didn't have another 25km to conquer before the next campsite...! Moods varied so much that in the morning I would be discussing how much I'd like us to get our own high-end kit, and even suggesting a summer camping jaunt to WALES (a moment of weakness surely), by the afternoon the tone would be more along the lines of 'george this is a one time thing, OK?!?!' Towards the end of the day as legs and back ached, my mothers childhood nickname 'firey harriet' came into its own. Luckily george had enough provisions stowed away that he was able to cure my low blood sugar levels (otherwise known as bad mood spikes) by feeding me snacks to promptly restore my enthusiasm- like a cart horse being fed polos to retain momentum. Now, if you're thinking it was just me, while George strode around the park with glee,. think again. Even Sykes was coining phrases such as 'I think I will cry when we finally get to the campsite' and reformed the lyrics to Queens don't stop me now, 'having a shit time, having a shit time..' which I could here him belting behind me. However, our home for the night was delightful and soon all wrongs were put to right. Perfect evening sunshine, and a sheltered spot for our tent- back to my 'I love camping, let's buy that tent!'. I was unable to walk the following day so George embarked on an adventure round the backside of the mountains en solo (probably relieved to ditch his counterpart, now affectionately referred to as 'the snail'). I had a wonderful morning in the sunshine, reading and bonding with the local staff who I sat with playing his flute he'd created out of a plastic pipe. On Georges return we treated ourselves for a valentines meal of canned tuna and crackers, then playing 'who can keep there feet in the glacial river longer'. I won :) After another OK nights sleep we trudged the 4hours trek back to the bus- and eventually made it back to the luxury of indoors, delicious un-packeted food and most importantly a BED; my old friend. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Reflecting on our time in Torres del Paine, we both say how incredible it was- insane natural beauty around every corner, and a catalogue of picture postcard photos; not to mention the sense of achievement on completing a challenging 5days hiking- totally out of our comfort zones. However, Probably best we didn't write this blog while we were walking or the language may have trouble into the slightly more vulgar. It was an experience I'll never forget and I truly thoroughly enjoyed, but next year it'll be a spa break for Valentine's Day George! On arriving further south in the large industrial town of Punta Arenas, the weird streets of Puerto Natales started to seem like a fairytale picturesque town. THIS was bleak. Maybe it was the constant rain but this is was not a charming place. On our first day, after listening to the hostel staff whinge about how much they hated the town we decided to brace the elements and check out the top sites which turned out to be a graffitied statue and a shipwreck which we got half way to and then turned back. Luckily we weren’t there for the sites but instead to catch a boat to Isla Magdalena home of 120,000 Magellenic penguins. Patagonia; the most beautiful landscapes we've ever seen, the most uninspiring architecture. But the region keeps growing on me.. I'm sure I'll be back one day.
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