#there are two (2) people who are gonna care about this
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muniimyg · 12 hours ago
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𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!yoongi (9) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹
series m.list // taglist
note: sorry this update took forever !!! enj <3
//
there are words can describe how incredibly awkward you feel when you wake up.
last night—after you and yoongi crossed that unspoken line and messed around—you two ended up tangled together.
it’s strange because in between soft touches and sleepy murmurs—you actually got to know him in ways you never expected.
you recall it all.
his quiet voice filling the spaces between the darkness and your hushed breathing so you could hear every tone, every word, and every breath of his crystal clear. 
yoongi told you stories and confessions that slipped out between shallow breaths. childish yet meaningful things he probably didn’t even realize he was saying.
you remember him murmuring about the way his mom used to hold his hand when he couldn’t fall asleep as a kid, or how he swore he’d never own a fish again because when he was 11 years old... he had 14 goldfishes and they all died one by one 2 weeks later.
he swears it wasn't his fault.
you tell him you believe him.
(you really do.)
he also talks about his quiet love for early mornings, how at peace he feels when he’s the only one awake in a still-sleeping world. in that half-dazed vulnerability, yoongi let you in. 
just enough for you to see a side of him you hadn’t expected, a part that was softer, quieter, more open.
then, you two talked about baby injeolmi.
how you two don't really care about the gender and just want a healthy baby. so much so that you both agreed to not know the gender and to just be surprised on the day of. oh, and how you do want a baby shower and think hye mi is already plotting that...
then, you two talked about the moving in thing again.
that's when you pretended to go to sleep and actually fell asleep. yoongi only laughed at you, fully knowing that you're just nervous. you're moving in one way or another.
he knows it.
you know it...
but aside from the way the talk ended; it went well.
no, the talk wasn’t everything…
but it was something. 
now, with the morning light filtering through the blinds, reality started to seep back in.
the familiar awkwardness of two people who shared more than they’d planned. you can feel his warmth beside you, his hand still loosely draped over your waist, and a twinge of nervousness fluttered in your stomach.
you glance at him, expecting him to be asleep. but then, his eyes blinked open, groggy but sharp enough to catch the slight flush in your cheeks. 
still half-asleep, his voice rough as he mumbles, “hi…”
for a second, neither of you move, as if lingering in that quiet, unguarded space between sleep and reality. suddenly aware of the intimacy, he clears his throat, his gaze softening but pulling back just a bit.
you offer him a shy smile, feeling the weight of everything unsaid between you.
“a-about last night…”
he chuckles softly, rubbing a hand over his face. “yeah… last night…”
then, he pauses to gather his words.
“wait, are you talking about me yapping or me sucking your tits?”
none. you’re talking about pretending to fall asleep regardless, your shy smile breaks as you burst into laughter. he joins your laughter and sighs. 
“i mean, are we gonna talk about any of it or is acknowledging it good enough for now? i don’t know if i’m awake enough for the conversation but i will be if you want to—”
“all good,” you assure him. “i don’t know where i was going with any of it. i guess i just wanted… to know if you—”
“i liked it,” he tells you, not digging any deeper. “you getting to know me, me sucking your tits—all of it.��
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as promised, yoongi takes you to the baby store. 
your eyes light up the minute you step foot in it. it’s then that yoongi remembers exactly who he’s having this baby with. 
you and your fucking babyfever. 
the baby store is a mix of pastel colors, tiny clothes, and gentle lullabies playing over the speakers. yoongi trails behind you as you wander through the aisles. one hand resting on the cart as he pushes it along, his eyes constantly flicking to you with a quiet, thoughtful focus.
though you two are pretty good at communicating—the whole physical affection part? that’s still a little wonky. for instance, every time you pause to examine something, yoongi is right there, his hand slipping gently around your waist to guide you to the next aisle or just to linger beside you. it’s so subtle that, at first, you think it’s an accident, a reflex. 
but then it keeps happening.
at first, it throws you off—his casual closeness.
the way he stays so near, like a shadow. you’re not used to this kind of attention from him.. this quiet and steady affection. but strangely enough, you find that you don’t mind it. in fact, there’s something comforting about the way he stays close, attentive to your every move.
when you stop to touch a soft little onesie covered in tiny clouds, yoongi doesn’t even hesitate. he reaches over, gently taking it from your hands and adding it to the cart without a word. 
you shoot him a questioning look, but he only shrugs, a small smile tugging at his lips as if to say, whatever you want.
“yoongi, you know you don’t have to buy everything i touch, right?” you remind him, glancing at the growing pile in the cart.
yoongi just chuckles, unbothered, and places his hand on your waist again as you reach the aisle full of toys. his touch is warm and grounding, making it hard to argue with him.
“you’re not carrying any of it home, so relax,” he says with a smile that’s both charming and final. “i like this shit too. they’re cute or whatever—”
then, your fingertips brush as you both reach for a soft, star-patterned onesie. he lets go first, letting you hold onto the onesie.
“this one’s cute,” you say softly, running your thumb along the fabric. then, you bite back a small smile when you realizes yoongi hasn’t moved his hand from your waist.
“yeah,” he murmurs, nodding. his voice is softer than usual, but before you can read into it, he takes the onesie and tosses it into the cart. then he grabs a few more items without asking you, each time ignoring your attempts to peek at the price tags.
“yoongi..."
"what?"
"are you serious?"
he looks at you blankly. "don't we need these things?"
you nod but give him a stern look. "yeah, but we can't buy out the whole store."
"why not?"
"first of all, that's insane... and second of all—a-are you just—"
you reach for a soft, stuffed rabbit, just curious to feel it, and—predictably—he plucks it right out of your hands, tossing it into the cart.
"you are."
"i'm what?"
"seriously?" you huff, barely holding back a grin. “you’re not even letting me decide if i want it. you're tossing it in just because i touched it.”
he remains unbothered by your protests. 
“what if i just think you have good taste?” he says, glancing at you with a hint of mischief. 
and with that, he gives you a gentle nudge, guiding you further down the aisle with that warm hand still resting at your side.
“are you saying that just to flatter yourself?”
“what do i have to do with this?”
“well, you’re my type and my babydaddy—”
“i’m your type?” yoongi tilts his head at you. "good to know..."
you blush, eyes wide from embarrassment. before you can make up some excuse to save face, he leans in and playfully pinches your waist.
“you're my type too, mama.”
you clear your throat and redirect the conversation.
"s-should we pick a crib?"
yoongi gestures his hand for you to lead the way.
as you begin to walk, you turn your head and send him a glare.
"... and be serious about this part, okay? this is the crib we're picking out. read the packaging and make your judgement. i'm gonna end up choosing the prettiest one that might not function as well as the ugly one... so, can i trust your taste on this?"
yoongi nods, pushing the cart with a steady, unhurried pace, his hand resting casually on the handle.
“you can trust me,” he says, his voice low and sincere.
... and so, you do.
you trust him.
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when you reach the checkout, you step forward to pay but—
yoongi slips right past you.
casually handing over his card to the cashier before you even get a chance. you cross your arms and narrow your eyes at him, watching as he signs the receipt, completely unbothered.
the total is easily above $3,000. 
he meets your gaze with a look that’s almost playful, his expression all wide-eyed innocence, as if he hadn’t just ignored your efforts.
"yoongi," you begin, voice firm. “we’re both injeolmi's parents, and it’s not fair for you to pay for everything. at least let me pay half—”
he doesn’t respond right away, just nods patiently, his attention focused on gathering the bags the cashier hands him. his face is calm, listening but clearly not swayed. he loads a big box containing the crib into the cart, then places the bags filled with tiny clothes, blankets, and toys right beside it, adjusting them carefully.
you press on, leaning slightly forward, hoping to get through to him.
“we’re both responsible here... i know i'm not a nurse practitioner like you, but it's not like i can’t contribute, you know—"
“i know.”
yoongi glances over his shoulder at you, his mouth quirking in the faintest smile as he stacks the last bag. he seems unbothered by your scolding, more amused than anything.
“this is my baby too and i feel uncomfortable letting you do this much—”
finally, he turns to you, reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair back from your cheek in a gesture so casual it nearly makes you forget your own irritation. 
“do what? provide?”
you're tongue tied.
“all done? feel better, mama?” he asks, his tone light, but his eyes sparkle with a hint of mischief. “if not, go ahead. say what you want. say what you need to say. i’m listening.”
you let out a small huff, crossing your arms more tightly, trying to stay serious.
“you’re not paying for everything, yoongi.”
he raises one eyebrow, his expression softening but still unwavering. 
“i am. i did.” he shrugs, nonchalantly. it feels like he’s teasing you even though he isn’t. “___, i’m all done with this topic now. are you?”
“no, actually, i—” you start, feeling your frustration build.
“great,” he interrupts, his smile spreading into a grin that makes your heart skip. 
he reaches down, taking your hand in his, his grip gentle yet firm, and begins to guide you toward the exit, leaving you no room to protest. 
his thumb rubs lightly over your knuckles as he holds your hand, a grounding gesture that calms you, even as he completely ignores your point. 
“let’s go home,” he says softly, his voice warm, as though it’s the simplest decision in the world.
home.
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following yoongi inside his condo, the familiar sight of his place tugging at something inside you. 
it’s been a while since you’ve been here. the memories of that night still linger like a quiet hum in the back of your mind, but you push them aside. 
focus on the present. 
focus on the baby.
he leads you through the hallways, and you try to ignore the way your pulse quickens as you walk past his bedroom. you know it’s silly—nothing’s changed here. but still, the weight of the space feels different, heavier now. maybe it’s because this time, you’re here for something else. 
this time, it’s about the baby.
and the fact that you’ll be moving in soon… fuck, your mind begins to spin.
then, yoongi stops in front of a door, his hand resting lightly on the handle. he opens it slowly, stepping aside to let you in. 
“this is the guest room,” he says, but you can tell he’s hesitating, like he’s waiting for your reaction. “soon to be baby injeolmi’s room…”
you step inside, your gaze instantly drawn to the empty space. it’s clean, quiet, the pale walls untouched by time or use. the sunlight pours in from the window, making the room feel warmer, but it’s still just a room. 
there’s nothing personal about it. 
nothing that belongs to anyone yet.
but you can already picture it—nursery furniture, soft colors, the quiet hum of a baby’s lullaby filling the air. you glance back at him, noting the careful expression on his face. he’s watching you, waiting for your approval. waiting for your thoughts, even if you’re not sure what to say. you wonder if he’s nervous too, if this feels as strange to him as it does to you.
for a moment, your mind drifts to that night—the night everything changed. 
the night you slept together. 
the night you felt something more than just friendship between you two. the way his touch felt, the way his lips lingered on yours, and how quickly it all faded into the awkward silence the next morning.
"i also made space for your things in my room. i'm not finished clearing out my all shit but i will be by next week. does that sound okay?"
"huh?" you blink. "n-next week?"
yoongi nods.
"i think i gave you enough time to think things over... and don't act like this is a surprise. i brought it up last night. you pretended to sleep."
your eyes widen.
"i—"
"move in with me next week," yoongi says. "... you can pretend to sleep mid conversation in my bed from now on."
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by an hour and half in, you and yoongi have filled the space with scattered remnants of baby gear—boxes, parts of cribs, and the disassembled pieces of a changing table. they all lay haphazardly across the floor. 
it’s oddly comforting.
the clutter somehow feels like a soft reminder of the chaos and excitement that’s about to come.
yoongi is kneeling on the floor, tools in hand, as he begins to assemble the crib, the sound of metal and wood clicking together filling the otherwise quiet room.
you lean against the doorway, arms crossed, watching him work with a careful, focused precision. his brow is furrowed, his jaw clenched as he concentrates on each piece. his sleeves are rolled up, revealing forearms that make it hard to focus on anything else. you swallow, not bothering to hide the way your eyes drift to the muscle in his arms as he works.
and then, almost instinctively, he looks up at you, his gaze meeting yours as if he can feel your eyes on him.
“baby injeolmi’s clothes need to be washed,” he says, his voice low but firm, his hands already reaching for another tool. “you want to do this 50/50? fine. but i don’t want you getting hurt.”
you push off the doorframe, rolling your eyes as you walk toward him, crossing your arms over your chest. 
you’re not used to him treating you like you’re made of glass, but you get where he’s coming from. still, it doesn’t sit well with you.
“i’m pregnant but i’m not fragile,” you argue. “i can help you with the crib—“
he doesn’t budge, his jaw tightening as he focuses on the task at hand. 
“humor me then,” he says, his tone patient, but there’s an underlying edge of stubbornness that makes it clear this isn’t up for debate.
you’re about to argue further, but the way he’s working—so effortlessly, so damn focused—has you momentarily silent. the way his arms flex as he screws the pieces together, the tension in his shoulders, the occasional glance up to check in on you—it all just feels so... domestic, and so right in this moment.
you step back a little, your breath catching as you take in the scene. yoongi, with his sleeves pushed up, lost in his work, looks so different from the guy you met—still him, but somehow more.
more... grounded. more steady.
your gaze lingers, unable to pull away.
your cheeks heat, a strange flutter in your chest as you realize you’ve been staring too long. When Yoongi catches your eye, his expression unreadable for a split second, you scramble to regain your composure.
“i’ll, uh…” you quickly clear your throat, suddenly feeling the weight of the moment. “i’ll get started on baby’s laundry. do you have clothes that need to be washed too? i can do a load—i mean… fuck—y-you know what? how about i make us some lunch first? yeah. i’ll do that.” you say, quickly backing away before your feelings get the best of you.
your steps are hurried as you leave the room, but you can still feel the heat in your face, the warmth of his gaze following you as you retreat.
yet, the image of him—focused, strong, and all yours—lingers, and you can’t help but smile to yourself as you step into the kitchen.
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in the kitchen, you decide to keep it simple yet comforting. 
something easy to share, nothing too fancy. you settle on making caprese chicken sandwiches with a side of fresh fruit and chips. 
you finish grilling the chicken and layer it on the toasted ciabatta. you add slices of fresh mozzarella, letting it melt slightly, then pile on thick tomato slices and fresh basil leaves. a drizzle of balsamic glaze finishes it off before you top it with the other half of the bread, pressing it together gently when yoongi walks in. 
without a word, he leans against the counter beside you, his presence as familiar as the scent of the meal. he doesn’t wait for you to finish; instead, he picks up a melon slice and takes a bite.
“can’t you wait two seconds?” you laugh, nudging him playfully with your elbow.
yoongi just grins, completely unbothered. he takes another bite.
“fruit always taste better when moms cut them,” he says, his voice teasing but laced with that quiet sincerity of his. “oh, should i say milf? or is that jungkook’s line?”
you roll your eyes but can’t help the smile tugging at your lips.
the way he stands there, so effortlessly himself, makes your chest tighten in a way you didn’t expect. he’s always been like this—comfortable, confident, and somehow, when he’s this close, it feels like everything else fades away.
as he pulls away, you notice a small smudge of melon juice on the corner of his lips. without thinking, you reach up to wipe it away, your thumb brushing softly against his skin. the movement feels natural, almost automatic, but something about the intimacy of it makes your heart flutter. you don’t hesitate, bringing your thumb to your mouth to clean it off.
“mhmm,” you moan. “tastes sweet.”
then, the moment freezes.
yoongi stares at you, eyes wide, as if he’s seeing you for the first time, like the simple action has somehow shifted everything. the air between you thickens, and suddenly, it feels like there’s more than just the space in the kitchen separating you.
you stand still, unsure of what to do next. 
your eyes lock, and in that second, something unspoken passes between you. it’s not just the closeness or the warmth of the kitchen—it’s a pull, an undeniable magnetism that makes your chest tighten and your breath catch.
yoongi’s gaze drops to your lips, and you can feel the tension, the quiet yearning between you both. his hand twitches slightly at his side, like he wants to reach for you, but he’s holding back, waiting for you to make the first move.
and just as you’re about to lean in, your belly gives a sudden flutter.
you gasp, your eyes widening in surprise, and instinctively, you reach for his hand, pressing it gently to your belly. 
“oh my god.”
“what?”
“yoongi… i think… here—”
you hold your breath, waiting, and then—
there it is again. 
a small, unmistakable kick.
yoongi’s eyes light up with awe, his fingers curling slightly around your hand as he feels it, a slow smile spreading across his face. he doesn’t say anything at first, just stands there, his eyes fixed on your stomach, filled with wonder and something deeper that you can’t quite place.
you squeeze his hand, feeling the weight of the moment settle around you both.
“did you feel that?” you whisper, a smile tugging at your lips. 
yoongi looks up at you, his eyes softer now, holding something deeper than the simple wonder of the moment. 
the air around you two has shifted into something more intimate. then, his gaze flickers to your face, his heart fluttering in his chest as he steps a little closer, his thumb gently brushing over your hand.
… and as he looks into your eyes, his pulse quickens. 
it’s not just the baby’s kick he feels—it’s this quiet, undeniable pull between you two. his chest tightens with the weight of it, and for a moment; this is everything to him. 
everything.
he gulps as he soaks in your presence and sinks into the idea feeling of love beginning. then, slowly and then all at once; he accepts it. 
“yeah,” yoongi says, tone warm and ever so sure. “i feel it.”
as you look up to meet his eyes, yoongi’s lips tug into a smile. dipping his head low, he kisses you.
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t1ny-untitled · 1 day ago
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TILL X GN!READER
「 ✦ ‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
- in this au, Till is in love(?) with the reader!yn and sang a different song in Round 2 in where he thinks you like (the aliens don't know it was someone else's song). He feels unsure of his feelings for gn!reader until he sang the song. -
- Warning; Till might be ooc(out of character) so I apologize if it is. If anything, feel free to give me some tips or things to improve this or any of my future fics, thank you! -
「 ✦ ‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
날 스치는 그대의 옅은 그 목소리
(That faint voice of yours that grazed me.)
내 이름을 한 번만 더 불러주세요
(Please call my name one more time.)
얼어버린 노을 아래 멈춰 서 있지만
(I'm standing still under the frozen light, but)
그대 향해 한 걸음씩 걸어갈래요
(I will walk towards you, step by step)
Still with you
0:01 - 0:18
Still With You - Jungkook
‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ✦ 」
[Reader] has always been the person that Till admired a lot. Watching them from afar with admiration. Through his journey of learning the guitar, they were his inspiration and motivation to continue on. For him, his education, and for them.
You were his childhood best friend he never wanted to let go. You were too kind to him. To people. To everyone. He likes that about you. He couldn't even believe that he met someone so caring like you. It felt so unbelievable.
He just wishes to at least hold your hand, wipe your delicate tears when you cry, let you sleep on his shoulder for as long as you can, and talk to you for countless hours.
It breaks his tiny heart whenever he sees you with someone. He had always tried to impress you. He wanted you to be proud of him. To notice him. To care about him. He had always dreamed about that.
And this is finally the time that he can impress you. And he won't mess it up. He can't mess it up.
‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
Till was now against a guy—Acorn. A short brown haired boy who is just the same age as he is. He looked at the audience with confidence. He knew he was gonna win this round. With this song he prepared. For you.
Surely, the music started to play, giving a somewhat soft but electrifying memory with his guitar. He tried to do it as softly as possible but also enough to maybe impress you.
He struck a few tabs and some chords, bringing the microphone to his mouth as he sang, giving a slightly blocked sound to impress the audience as well
"날 스치는 그대의 옅은 그 목소리."
"내 이름을 한 번만 더 불러주세요"
"얼어버린 노을 아래 멈춰 서 있지만"
"그대 향해 한 걸음씩 걸어갈래요"
"Still with you"
He sang in a soft tone before striking a slightly louder and improvised melody. The boy looked at him, not even knowing where to start singing until he continued.
"어두운 방, 조명 하나 없이. 익숙해지면 안 되는데 그게 또 익숙해"
("Dark room, no lights. I shouldn't get used to it but I'm used to it again.")
He sang, looking at the ground for a brief moment to think about all the things he had with you before when the two of you were still kids.
"나지막이 들리는 이 에어컨 소리. 이거라도 없으면 나 정말 무너질 것 같아. 함께 웃고, 함께 울고. 이 단순한 감정들이 내겐 전부였나 봐"
("This quiet sound of the air conditioner. I feel like I'd really fall apart without this. Laugh together, cry together. I guess these simple feelings were everything to me.")
A gentle smile creeped up to his face, looking up. He felt conflicted by his unknown feelings for you. And he wanted to be sure...
"언제쯤일까 다시 그댈 마주한다면? 눈을 보고 말할래요."
("When will I ever see you again? I want to look you in the eye and tell you")
"보고 싶었어요"
("I missed you")
Suddenly, he felt a switch in his heart turned on. A feeling of his heart racing as he continued on the lyrics with passion. He hasn't felt something like this until now... It felt so nice, even.
The brunette looked at him, slightly panicking as he looked at his score compared to the gray haired one. He looked back at the gray haired, seeing how he was smiling genuinely. His collar was green, showing his positivity. Or even, motivation..
He really hopes you like it...
‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
"Till!"
A young child said, running towards the young boy—Till "Look what I made!" The young child said, showing him a little bouquet of flowers. You were smiling like a little kid, giving the bouquet to him. "It's for you!"
Till looked at the bouquet, feeling his cheeks burn beet red by the sudden gift. "W—why me?!" He exclaimed, looking up at you with surprise.
The young child looked at him, confused but also upset, thinking he doesn't like it "Why? Is it ugly?" You asked, looking a bit saddened as you looked down at your bouquet. He didn't like it when he saw you like that. He quickly patted your head, trying to calm you down "I—I'm just asking! I didn't say anything negative about that!" *He protested, hesitantly grabbing the bouquet and hiding it up to his chest "H—happy?!" He says, looking down at you and hoping you would be happy again
The little child looked up at him, and your face brightened. "Sing me a song" You stated, looking at him with a smile. You knew he couldn't say no... "A—ah... Hrgh..." Till grunted, feeling his face heat up and looked away, looking timid. "Fine...!" He said making you smile brightly and jumped up and down.
You sat on the floor beside him, looking at him as if waiting for him to sing. He couldn't concentrate properly on how focused you are to him but eventually, he started to sing.
"황홀했던 기억 속에"
("In the ecstatic memories")
"나 홀로 춤을 춰도 비가 내리잖아"
("Even if I dance alone, it rains")
"이 안개가 걷힐 때쯤 젖은 발로 달려갈게"
("By the time this fog clears, I'll run with wet feet")
"그때 날 안아줘"
("Hug me then")
‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
He didn't even realize that he was zoning out and his opponent—Acorn was already singing while he was distracted. He felt angered to the point he slammed his guitar on the floor. He wanted it to be him he's impressing you. Not the flat haired guy.
It still made him mad despite him still winning over the brunette. Now he had just killed his alien guitar. Ahh... But all he wanted to know is if you liked it or not.
He goes back to where he was, trying to find you to see if you paid attention to his performance. He just hoped that you weren't sleeping that time since you are a heavy sleeper... But luckily, when he came back, you instantly greeted him with a soft smile and waved at him. The only thing that filled his mind is that you liked it based on your small interaction with him.
Till looks at you, his face burning and his lips curling into a nervous and awkward smile before waving back. Now he finally knows what his feelings for you are now.
He wants to stay still with you
‧₊˚ 🎸 ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ
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soft-cristobalite · 1 day ago
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Watched arcane season 2 act 1, thought abt it, so here are some of my thoughts in no particular order. Obvious spoilers.
Also, i watched in dub. Important to know when i am quoting charaters + when i am talking about their tone.
Starting of with something that is directly affected by dub — ukrainian Jayce is my Jayce. Ppl said he sounded condesending while talking to Ekko — not. at. alllll. true for my Jayce. My Jayce sounded tired, emotionaly burn out. "You drink tea, Ekko?" said with no though to it, in a context of continues talking of "Haha do i live here? Hahah....... Do you guys want tea? Want some tea? I'll make tea. Do you drink tea, Ekko?". But d-dub is supposed to stay true to the original— I DONT CAREEE. I love my blorbo almost-himbo Jayce, never changing his characterisation in my mind.
And i will hold Jayce's hand when i say this — you were. Just so gay for like... Essentialy going "Are you okay? Good, good" to lady Mel Medarda HERSELF and then seeing Victor and losing your mind. Sprinting with him in your hands to your lab. LIVING in your lab to monitor him. I just... I get it, you don't have many friends. But like...... Really dude. Reaally.
Give Mel and Ekko thirty minutes. I promise you they would work it out. Eternal piece would be achieved.
I know there are a lot of different opinions regarding Caitlyn. I will not be explaining in-depts what i think about her acr, because a) who cares and b) i like to see her go cray-cray. But like — why isnt anybody exept for Vi attempting to stop her??? Like why is Jayce mourning Victor's twink death instead of, yk, stopping his childhood-best-friend-kinda-younger-sister from killing ppl of Zaun, the last thing Victor wants btw? She and Vi are twenty-ish — WHYYYY are they going through it by themselves??? Why doesnt baby yoda guy with German name that i dont dare to write trying to stop the daughtrer of his ex-collegue? He is 600 or something, im sure he could've come up with advice.
Cait pointing her gun at a child is terrifying, it opens up the possibilities of her going even more blinded with anger, doing even more horrific things, and Vi is right to try and stop her. However... I know damn right i would've believe her when she said she will not miss 😭 Every single time she fired her gun she was very precise. Even in that scene she aimed at the gun the girl was holding like two seconds ago and got a perfect. fucking. score. Like i dont remember her missing at all, actually.
"Ohhhhh you're gonnnaaa haaaaaattteeee Maddie after act two—" says who? On that note, i hope both Cait AND Vi will sleep with a few random people. Good for them. Let them try to forget about each other only to realise just how down bad they are for one another. Let the scenes of Cait and Maddie hooking up intertwine with Vi's one night stand.
"Maddie is just gonna be a victim of comander Cait :(((" and i do not have any thing to say to that — we dont yet KNOW what will happen — but I dont think Cait will try to manipulate her into this. I think Maddie will flirt a bit, Cait will try and seek salvage and vulnerability in someone, especially since she is now constantly in public's eye and needs to project hope™ and stoicism™. It will be a genuine attempt to move on — not anybody's fault she can't.
But oh god, oh goooddd i cant wait for Maddie to loose the spark in her eyes due to lesbian situationship.
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tiktowafel · 3 days ago
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personal lore dump for Shihai Kuroiro!! (where i'm probably a little mean to him but it's out of love guys i swear)
verrry late for his birthday but it's here!! :] love this kid. so many thoughts about him to share
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i'll just start with the part that i find the most important - the core of his character, to me, is that he is not what he says he is and not what he desperately tries to convince himself and everyone else that he is.
i'm mostly basing this off of how ultra analysis gives him one of the two lowest wits scores in his class (as shown above) despite the fact that he calls himself "the scheming hero" and spends half his joint training match dramatically talking about trickery and psychological traps - while i like to ignore canon sometimes, this little piece of information is something i could never disregard. it's so endearing to me, plus him apparently trying really hard to seem way cooler than he actually is fits with the chuunibyou archetype he's supposed to represent.
severe headcanon territory & a generally slightly lengthy textpost under the read more lol
now, why do i hc he's that way in the first place? well, basically: his whole life he's admired underground heroes very strongly and ended up developing this very idealized mental picture of the perfect underground hero - a mysterious lonely mastermind who hides in the shadows and avoids the spotlight, quietly pulling all the strings and relying on plans and schemes instead of a powerful quirk and flashy moves. but despite all the dirty tricks they're capable of, their heart is in the right place - in fact in a way their motivations are far more noble than those of all the popular celebrity heroes, because they don't care about fame or recognition, they act out of a genuine want to do good. this is what Kuroiro aspires to be and what he bases his entire persona on, pretty much.
and that's because this is also the only kind of hero he could ever identify with - he was always an odd, withdrawn kid who had trouble making friends. he couldn't see himself in all those shiny charismatic always-in-the-spotlight heroes that everyone else seemed to love. so when he learned about underground heroes, he fell in love instantly and decided this is who he wanted to be, over time forming this perfect underground hero image to set as his goal.
except, again, a lot of traits possessed by this ideal of a hero aren't really in line with what Kuroiro himself actually is. he's nowhere this badass. he's nowhere this smart. he kinda sucks at this whole scheming thing actually! he's sneaky, sure, that's by nature of his quirk - but his schemes are way less elaborate than he likes to make them seem, most of the time they're just ways for himself to catch people off guard. he doesn't have the multi-step coordination-based planning capablity of Kendo or Tokage, the adaptability of Honenuki or the sheer sophistication of Monoma (note that almost all of 1-b's plan during joint training match 2 was invented by Kendo and Kuroiro's only strategic contribution was tricking 1-a into thinking he was gonna target Tokoyami so he could ambush Aoyama instead - which is something yeah but still nothing particularly complicated). and he hates that about himself, because intelligence is something that he values and admires so so much - so he exaggerates his strategic prowess a lot, with his hero title and dramatic speeches and all, and does everything in his power not to be perceived as stupid (often failing miserably). it's out of insecurity.
he's also not that much of a lone wolf, either. he does have a strong tendency to isolate himself from others, which is partially because he's convinced himself that he's destined to walk a lonely path in life & content with it (what's a better way of coping with your childhood loneliness than romanticizing it) and partially because the fact that he's constantly putting up a facade does by itself kinda prevent him from forming proper relationships, BUT he's not really happy this way. he's introverted but ultimately not meant to be alone. he does need friends! and he does wish for a romantic relationship, too! but, of course, he sucks at managing those feelings, as we can judge by his interactions with Kinoko and his general incapability of normally talking to girls mentioned in ultra analysis.
i actually really like that he has a crush on Kinoko specifically because it plays really well into everything that i said earlier in this post! remember that something he admires a lot about underground heroes is that they don't care about fame and recognition, and therefore in his view have the most genuine motivations? i like to believe that odd as it is, he actually has a very strong moral compass and greatly values selflessness. so, imagine how he feels when he learns that Kinoko, whom he already has a crush on because she's cute and she's nice to him and she has a really cool quirk (something something mushrooms like darkness so they must be meant to be), wants to be an idol hero. bro's devastated. those people are the epitome of modern hero society's shallowness and superficiality, and she wants to be one! she apparently wants to spend her precious time doing silly little dance routines and shaking people's hands at conventions instead of dedicating it all to proper hero work! and Kuroiro still has a crush on her! that witch...!
and you see, Kinoko isn't actually a shallow person. what motivates her to become and idol hero isn't selfishness (refer to my old Kinoko headcanon list - some things in there are a tiny bit outdated but my headcanon on why she wants to be an idol is still the same!). except Kuroiro doesn't get to know that at first so he remains bewildered and conflicted for quite some time - and i just think that's funny y'know? he eventually learns more about her (second hand, they don't directly talk to each other much, in canon i think Kinoko doesn't even pay much attention to him in general 😭) and starts to change his mind, probably falling even harder in the process - but still the whole thing is complete disaster on his side. he was always shy around her, now there's also... all this, no wonder he can't talk to her at all!!
so, to sum it up: Kuroiro is intense, he's surprisingly idealistic, he's tragically insecure, and he has some very rigid ideas about himself and the world around him that he probably needs to let go of. he's just a mess of a teenager with a lot of to figure out - and he does figure it out, he does get his happy ending eventually! (a conversation with Kinoko, among other things, is something that definitely would be a crucial part in his,, character arc, i guess? and y'know what, while i do really like them as a couple, i think them just getting to talk things out is a "happy ending" regardless of whether they end up together)
OH and by the way: i'm not saying that he's like, going against himself at all times! he's not an actual master schemer or a complete lone wolf but a lot of things about how he acts are perfectly genuine. his affinity for all things dark is genuine, his interest in taboos is genuine, and his love for theatrics is also genuine! in that matter, it's actually not a phase lol he's just like that :] would be blasphemous to say otherwise, that's what we all love him for..!
aaand this concludes my little essay about one of my favorite 1b kids!! the picture of him that i have in my head is very clear, that's why he's the first character that i chose to write this kind of post about - i'm just pretty confident about the hcs i have for him haha. i'm also thinking about writing a more lighthearted list of hcs to complete the vision (ya know, like the good ol days) because there's STILL so much that i haven't shared since it didn't fit this post - so stay tuned for that if you enjoyed this!! see you next month probably
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hyperfixationcritter · 37 minutes ago
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I'm thinking it's representative of the fact that Mel's the only one onto Ambessa's shenanigans and actively trying to fight/defend against them.
We see Caitlyn consumed by vengeance and focusing on Jinx, falling back on her privilege and not caring who she hurts along the way. She's also paralleling Jinx in some ways as people pointed out so it fits the framing of their faces and their eyes. The red thread of her conspiracy board also frames her like someone caught in a spider's web which is fitting given Ambessa's influence on her.
Vi is completely blinded by Jinx's hands which speaks to her tunnel vision when it comes to her sister, trying to do the right thing and coping with all the changes in her life that have left her VERY vulnerable.
We also have Viktor, who's hand cover's one of his eyes and I'm actually not sure what that means just yet though we know there's gonna be some form of consequences to his hexcore revival and what that means for his livelihood. Also his priorities have put him in the literal lowest part of the Undercity, the furthest removed from Piltover but we know Ambbessa's going to make her way there in act 2.
In comparison, Mel's seeing the big picture in a way that the other characters simply aren't and her being taken out of Piltover at the end of act 1 is already showing how that's going to negatively impact things.
I'd argue it's kinda like how Ekko's approach to the Undercity's problems was the one to actually help heal/organize people to their benefit
vs Silco who got Piltover's attention/threatened them through Jinx's actions but method of advancing the Undercity hurt and exploited people in the process and on purpose
and Vander's method which tried to protect people by keeping the status quo/being stagnant because he was tired of fighting.
But whereas Ekko's insight deals with the societal issues within and between the Undercity and Piltover, Mel's insight deals with threats and factors OUTSIDE of the sister cities in regards to Ambessa, the Black Rose and the factor of the arcane itself which she contributed to the presence of through her sponsorship of hextech.
In both cases Mel and most likely Ekko/the nerd trio are stuck in the shadow realm/eeby deeby/wherever they are, lol, so i'm curious as to where that's going to lead the both of them.
I was initially gonna put these in the tags and then this got longer than I intended. But those are just my two cents on things.
On a side note, I'll also add that I'm on the fence about what it means for Mel to have the ring back on VS Ambessa who's holding it in front of her instead of wearing it. Like I've seen and can make speculations of the posters on their own but juxtaposed together I'm not sure what to make of it if that makes sense?
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EVERY character has had shadows on their face in their posters, or their faces partially covered, but Mel's is not. Mel is surrounded by light and her eyes are not covered or shadowed. And then the hands? What do the hand placements mean? WHAT DOES IT MEAN.
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mikelogan · 1 year ago
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MIKELOGAN’s 5K FOLLOWER CELEBRATION || GET TO KNOW ME MEME FAVORITE CELEBRITY INTERVIEWS [1/5]
John C. McGinley on Conan: I'm a Gravy Guy x
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ayyponine · 4 months ago
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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pastorfutureletthembe · 2 days ago
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Could be but I hope Lu Guang knows better than giving false hope to CXS after the earthquake arc :(
We don't know what's the extent of Lu Guang's knowledge on season 2's events to be fair. He doesn't seem to know the twins, for example? Or maybe he did and that was why he tried to keep the childhood photo secret until he couldn't anymore. But a lot of information about the twins eludes him.
He absolutely didn't know CXS would be in the car when Emma got kidnapped. And the whole Emma plotline is a bit messy too. It's like the story is never the same, switch from one way to another. I'm pretty sure it comes out as a murder then a suicide as the shows goes on but I'm not sure. I don't think it would be narrative errors, only CXS and LG messing with the timeline.
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In season 2, CXS seems to change many key points by the end of the show, reacting to LG's absence. Obviously, CXS is the one supposed to be kidnapped by Li Tianchen so Lu Guang really went and decided "nope not gonna happen! I believe in you CXS to somehow make it work."
Soooo I really don't know if Emma was supposed to live or die but, allegedly, she's in this situation because of CXS. No way to know if she would have ended her life after losing her job in the original timeline. Or if she ever got fired in the first place. Or if she actually went through to become the kind of innocent girl who comes to the big city to fuck her boss in hope to secure her place in society. Maybe this would have been enough to make her jump. We just don't know.
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Truth be told, Emma is one of the most interesting characters in the show. And it is so for more reasons than one.
She's the perfect entry point to the show, her longing for her family introduces us to CXS's personal struggles and loneliness, and all of this presents the boys' powers.
This and, as a character, she embodies what the show really is about, and her story is very common for chinese people from what I've heard. Season 1 was actually very popular because it was about primordial chinese values and struggles. Some episodes are about true events that profoundly marked people in this country. Put time travel aside, it's actually a story about two boys struggling to pay a debt. It's about living to your parents' expectations. It's about the gap between rich and poor; and in one end of it you're barely able to buy food on a daily basis. It's about choosing the right partner to start a business. It's about family. In the end, I think she had to die as an active symbolism that the natural balance is off. What happens after her death is Lu Guang and Li Tianchen cheating.
Sadly, her character is just what it's worth: a tool. For the writers as well as for the baddies in the show. But I would have loved to see more of her (maybe in an alternative reality when CXS and she became friends). I also believe she has a strong impact on CXS, just as much as the earthquake. Because everything about how her life changed from the beginning is because of CXS's actions.
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Cheng Xiaoshi is introduced as a passive character. Not a passive personality, far from it, but Lu Guang tries to make him into someone who doesn't create ripples into the river of time (which is basically impossible). Cheng Xiaoshi dives and Lu Guang drives. That's the time travel dynamic we're given and Qiao Ling, as clueless as she can be regarding their business, knows that Lu Guang calls the shots. Lu Guang has an easy role, of course, because he doesn't have to deal with consequences as directly as CXS. To him, the events already happened and there is no changing them. To CXS, the events ARE happening, to HIM. No matter Lu Guang's rules, Cheng Xiaoshi is compromised and thus not only because he lives the memories: there is an emotional contamination between his host's body and Cheng Xiaoshi's soul. Lu Guang is trying to teach CXS this distinction. CXS dives as if it's only business, like he doesn't really care, but he can get deeply involved, real fast. When this happens, he's reckless. He's in danger and can be a possible danger.
People can be appalled by Lu Guang's decision of letting Cheng Xiaoshi go through the earthquake trauma but, in all honesty, it needed to happen. CXS needed to learn his actions have consequences but that he cannot go through an unchangeable node. And he shouldn't. Hypocrite? Well, yes, but it's a reasonable lesson to learn when you have CXS's powers. Not to spoil LCLA, but this arc has exactly the same purpose: proving CXS that he's not playing superhero here, he cannot be doing this for himself, this is real life with real people and he needs to understand the purpose of his dives in order to be able to protect himself.
1) Lu Guang has nothing to return to, he's only diving forwards by taking the back door. Cheng Xiaoshi? Once he changes the past, chances are he won't be able to return to the time he's sharing with Lu Guang and Qiao Ling. 2) Cheng Xiaoshi has no right to decide what needs to happen in the past only to make it easier for people in the present. That's not healing. He lives through his host but he shouldn't give in to what the host wants, should keep in mind what needs to be.
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Ironically, Emma's case required Cheng Xiaoshi to be passive and not ease her mind by reaching out to her parents, while the earthquake arc teaches him that it's okay to communicate his host's feelings. In the second case, everyone is at a dead end. Would that imply that Emma wasn't? Does it mean Emma's story wasn't supposed to end? Sending a message to her parents in the middle of the night didn't change anything related to their mission but it did change her path. If Lu Guang wants for her to survive, it either means she is alive in the original timeline or her role shifts from host to Cheng Xiaoshi's downfall.
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Again, it's only a supposition but she could be the first nail to CXS's coffin, actively or passively. 1) He would take accountability regarding the role he played in her death. It could send CXS on a very dangerous path, one with guilt, depression and... We know the possible outcome for this. 2) The fact he puts her on Liu Min's path and therefore puts himself on Li Tianchen's radar would definitely be the trigger for his own death. If we project more in the future, we can guess it makes him visible by other power users such as Liu Xiao or Vein. Lu Guang wouldn't want that.
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I cannot shake the feeling that Cheng Xiaoshi saving Emma was a needed correction that Lu Guang supported. The reason why he was trying to hide the case from Cheng Xiaoshi and, again, lie to his face about the truth, could be that he didn't want Cheng Xiaoshi to be hurt. He probably knew that if he involved himself with this case, someone will notice him/them.
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True, Lu Guang was surprised/panicked when Cheng Xiaoshi's rescue mission almost succeeded but I think he's even more disturbed by the fact someone with ability stepped in the game. Death is supposed to be an unchangeable node but what if this death specifically happened only because someone other than Cheng Xiaoshi played a part in it? That would change things.
In the end, it is a bit difficult to trust season 1 finale when you know they took a different direction than initially planned. This character killing Emma could not be Li Tianchen. Or maybe the one possessing Qiao Ling was supposed to be Vein. The words "this is your punishment for breaking the rules of the games. Now the game has been reset" are ominous as fuck when you know what is probably coming in Yingdu Chapter.
You know what's kinda messed up when you think about it? At the end of S1, Lu Guang let Cheng Xiaoshi try and save Emma. And you're kinda thinking "wtf? That doesn't sound like Lu Guang at all" but then you get to S2 and you realize Lu Guang most likely knew exactly what was going to happen (at least I think so? Time stuff is a bit weird, so idk what all is similar and different with the timelines), so he let Cheng Xiaoshi try and save Emma, knowing full well that Cheng Xiaoshi wouldn't be able to because he knew what was going to happen next.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months ago
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...
#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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cyanide-sippy-cup · 8 days ago
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All I've seen on the left this election has been a loop of
"I'm not voting Harris cause she's pro-genocide"
"But then you're letting Trump into power! It'll be on you when trans kids die!"
and
"I'm voting Harris cause I don't want Hitler Jr in charge again"
"So Palestine doesn't matter to you? Someone finally showed their true colors!"
I feel like we're saying the same things here. Some coordination would be nice, people.
#seriously I've seen so many “so Palestine doesn't matter to you” comments under like mattxiv posts even though he talks about it often#and then there's the blaming pocs and queer folks like “you're letting your greedy want for rights get in the way of true justice”#and not to mention the antisemitism that's come from a lot of folks#but then on the other side there's more blaming pocs/queers with the “it will be your fault when your rights are stripped away”#and there's the folks that act like voting stein is gonna “destroy the electoral college and free us of the 2 party system”#like sweetie what world are you living in where it's that simple#personally as a punk i agree with sticking to your guns and i also believe there are more than one fucking cause to fight for#like i voted for Harris but I'm not pro genocide. only one of those two is gonna be president and id prefer the one we can actually#put pressure on. like push comes to shove kamala is a Democrat and a coward. she's gonna do whatever to get votes which means we can push#no tags this is a personal rant#I'm so tired of seeing people scream “FUCK THE SYSTEM” and completely misunderstand what fucking the system actually entails#like punk isn't just doing the opposite of what you're told. it's taking care of people. which means not being racist towards people who dis#disagree. like im not a Boomer whos all “back in my day we could be friends despite our differences”#but i think we're so busy attacking each other the literal Nazis become a secondary thought to our hatred towards other people with the sa#same goal. we're all trying to save lives. lives republicans are trying to destroy. lets get our heads out of our asses for five minutes#accidenti
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wildevenusian · 2 months ago
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(​it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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spearxwind · 2 years ago
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killerchickadee · 8 months ago
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Every time I see that post about bids for attention, or whatever it is, I think about my mom.
I don't really talk to anyone in my family, and I hate that and don't know how to reconnect.
My mom is also into birds so last summer when I saw the whooping crane I texted her a shitty excited picture and like all caps, "I saw a whooping crane!!!"
Her response was "lol". That's it. No follow up or chit chat, just a shut down of my attempts to connect with her.
The other week I sent her a link to the crane cam and told her to check in on it at sunrise and sunset (which is when the cranes are there, though lately they've been hanging out later in the day) and her response was "Cool!"
That's it! Again, completely shut me down. If I died tomorrow the last thing my mom said to me was "Cool".
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pyrriax · 1 year ago
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peace and love on planet earth.
this fic is. going places.
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a9saga · 1 year ago
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youtube
the brilliant green - stand by me // the day I run out of tbg videos to post will be the day I stop posting weekly song recs on this blog
#it may be 7am but i know if i don't post this now i probably won't post anything today#and i don't like to have the same pinned post for 3 weeks straight#i wasn't feeling like posting anything too consistently these last couple weeks#i gotta *feel* a song rec man if im gonna queue something i gotta know ill still be playing it by the time it goes up#i listened to the swingin sixties a couple days ago when i was having a lot of anxiety#i think that version of this song may actually be a bit better but you know it's just a good comforting song#bro idek who's getting evicted tonight this is the first week ive honestly been unsure#and i don't even know if i care who goes home!#all i wanna see is how we voted for the superpower competition#i wish either jared or izzy were being backdoored this week tbh over the two actually up for eviction#im done with the way izzy talks to or about people and also jared is saying some gross shit about women on the live feed#that doesn't make the actual cut for the episode#i have two (2) important things i have to do today#one of which is an important virtual meeting at 9 am that my alarm hasn't gone off for yet#yet here i am watching youtube videos and posting songs#i hate being responsible i wish my mummy and daddy had the money to pay for my college in full#and additionally i wish i hadn't been chronically ill for over half my life but here we are doing a damn zoom meeting 🙄#aight yes im pretty stressed as you can tell#the brilliant green#j rock#tommy#90s j rock#tomoko kawase#shunsaku okuda#ryo matsui#song rec#tbt#shut up kaily#also i hope this band does anything ever again i miss them so much i cant even tell you#Youtube
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cosmik-homo · 2 years ago
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found a video on youtube of someone who does impressions of Two preforming modern doctor who speeches and. imnot crying from 2 and the Zygon anti-war speech but. im also very much not not crying.
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