#there are thoughts of pidge's powers
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chibi-pix · 11 months ago
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Okay, thanks to @t1koy-roll having drawn Zandee as a spider-person, she ended up sparking desires for Pidge as a spider-person, too. And that sparked thoughts of Spiderverse shenanigans between these two and Pidge being sassy and Zandee just proud of her like a big brother. So. In the end? I had to draw them. And Pidge sassing probably Miguel. She probably thinks he's neat and cool to some degree, especially the claws and fangs, but she really doesn't like how he handles canon even stuff.
Any future arts of them like this may show a change in Zandee's outfit, especially colouring. I was basing it off of a small quick doodle Tikoy had made.
Anyway! Hope y'all enjoy this one! Until next time!
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bosspigeon · 1 year ago
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i wrote a bad (as in imperfect / whole scene needs to be reimagined, not as in too grammatically bad or unpleasant to my personal tastes) rough draft but once i finish little fics for the canon scenes i want to touch on, i am working up to writing astarion biting cazador's throat out and tossing his remains to his six vampire spawn siblings. and i think you should still explore pyre helping astarion gargle down some vampire juice. it's what we deserve!
I feel like it's also pointless bc just killing Cazador has the same effect I think? Regardless, I love the POETRY the CATHARSIS the FURIOUS, VISCERAL DEDICATION there is no love like the love who would bring the man who ruled your nightmares to his knees in the muck like the rest of the animals and tear open his throat with his teeth and make an offering of his blood
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torveiglyart · 3 months ago
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Due to my inability to post a comic page today, I have some more fleshing out of the Avicorians… and a Lance AU.
Due to the unique materials that many Avicorian’s body parts are made of, this race has been poached to extinction. The feathers, bones, teeth, claws, and eyes of an avicorian are held in high regard on the black market. Although they are universally known as extinct, there was a rather large group of Avicorians that escaped the mass poaching epidemic by fleeing to a small outer-rim planet known as Earth, and hiding there.
As generations came and went, the degree of chameleonisation rose, making it impossible to tell an Avicorian from a human, 2,000 years after the genocide. The only indicator that a person could be Avicorian or of that descent is heterochromia, yet even that genetic factor happens in regular humans, so there is no sure way to identify them.
Like Alteans, Avicorians have a unique connection to quintessence. The light markings on their wings indicate a person’s connection, or “power”, to the quintessence they feel strongest. for Avicorians, the composition of quintessence differs based on the colour: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Teal, Blue, Violet, and White. Coincidentally, this colour action works similarly to Earthling’s “Auras” in that personalities can be identified by the quintessence colour. Unlike Alteans, Avicorians cannot “wield” quintessence or manipulate it in the way alchemists can. They can react to and with it, like recharging a Balmera, but cannot utilise it, like Oriande shows. Avicorians require quintessence usage to shape-shift (to morph, not sustain), while Alteans do not.
Quintessence and meaning
Red: Passion, agression, impulsion, heart
Orange: Energetic, creative, impatient, skittish
Yellow: Stubborn, support, compassion, caution
Green: Inquisitive, petty, productive, amicable
Blue: Fluid, thoughtful, trust, fawning
Violet: Decisive, level-head, weary, calm
White: “Purity” White quintessence does not normally appear naturally as it is a refined version. There are no traits, as there are none with a connection to white.
Teal: “Raw Quintessence” Balmeran crystals are the easiest example of quintessence in a raw form. Curiosity, kindness, flexibility, empathy
And now the Lance AU:
Unknown to Lance McClain, he is half Avicorian. His parents, who were actually a full-blood Avicorian and his “aunt” Rosa, were killed in a car accident when he was only 2, and so he was taken in by his aunt Sophia, who he knows as his mom. He was never told of his true parentage, as no one felt it was important for him to know. He was a McClain anyways.
Lance always had heterochromatic eyes, brown on bottom, blue on top, but preferred to wear coloured contacts to hide the unusual colouration, especially after a bad spout of bullying when he first moved to America.
Years later, when Voltron went to aid an Empire outpost with broken shields, Lance sacrificed himself to save Allura from a beam of electricity and was revived by her newfound knowledge of Altean alchemy. Upon revival, he began to have strange pains in his back and nails, yet continuously brushed them off as battle scars or “the whole dying thing”. Months later, when they fight Lotor in the quintessence field, Lance passes out after their victory and wakes up in Red, his armor broken on the ground in front of him and eyes burning. He doesn’t actually take note of the changes until Red is packed with his things and the castle is gone. No one ran into him during the packing trips, but now that things have settled, Pidge is the first to point out Lance’s silence. It is then that Lance freaks out about the wings, blue sclera, and claws.
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autisticlancemcclain · 11 months ago
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wip tease number god knows, truly
The phone doesn’t ring for more than two seconds. Which is crazy, because New Altea is an unfathomably huge number of lightyears away and also Lance’s phone signal is perpetually garbage.
“Ahoy,” greets Allura when the line connects, because she is strange.
“Ahoy,” Lance greets back, because he loves her.
They sit in silence. He can hear, vaguely, the clicking sounds of compacts being opened and closed, and the particular humming noise she always makes when she’s putting on eyeliner.
It occurs to Lance, for the first time, that they have known each other so long and so closely that to the outsider, their relationship might be quite strange. The thought makes him smile widely.
“So,” he says.
Allura hums again. Deliberately, this time.
Lance takes another long time to answer, digging the toe of his boots into the ground. He spies a worm wiggling in the newly churned dirt and bends down to pluck it, writhing, out of its hovel. He quickly snaps a picture and sends it to Pidge with the caption, ‘didn’t know you were on Earth today.’ She responds with a grotesquely realistic custom clown emoji.
“There is a possibility. Perhaps. That I do not actually want to be a farmer.”
“No shit,” replies the Queen of New Altea And Also Lots Of Other Things Lance Can’t Remember, blithely.
Lance sniffs haughtily. “This is quite the revelation, you know. I’ve had four panic attacks about it.”
“You have an anxiety disorder. You had a panic attack about malevolent gut bacteria last week.”
“…This is true.”
“Also, whenever I feel you need to be humbled, I ask your mother to send me stuff from your childhood. There’s a video in particular I enjoy of you sobbing about the prospect of being anything but an astronaut. You looked at a cornfield and threw up. You were four, I believe.”
Lance does, actually, vaguely remember that. Well, he remembers Luis writhing on the floor, weeping with laughter, and kicking him in the shins. He also remembers the cornfield, if only because he distinctly remembers lobbing a piece of corn at Luis’ head, also.
He was a very expressive child. Also, Luis is a turd.
“I am entitled to a period of self-reflection,” Lance says primly.
“It has been an Entire Year, knobhead.”
“I needed time to collect my thoughts in peace and on Earth. I died, you know.”
“Oh, did you,” says Allura drily. “I wonder how that went.”
Lance’s smile widens. He lets her have this one. “Fuck farming, okay. I’m bored. I love my family to pieces but I need to be closer to drama. Give me a job.”
“That is a garbage application, Leandro.” He hears the distinct sound of a nail polish bottle being shaken. “I should hire someone more qualified.”
“How about you hire deez nuts.”
“Hm,” she says, and he can hear her grinning. “On the other hand, I need a second in command who is unafraid to challenge me. You know, in case I grow corrupt with power.”
She pretends to deliberate for a moment.
“You’re hired. I’ll send someone to come pick you up tomorrow.”
“Is that someone going to be a hot, tall Altean in a slutty outfit?” Lance asks hopefully.
She can’t help a laugh. Lance grins triumphantly. “You’re fired.”
“Is that a yes?”
“I’ll think about it.”
She hangs up.
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callmelyc · 6 months ago
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Part 2 of this the Lance loosing a leg Langst
Less angst in this one bc I'm a sucker for a happy ending. Again copy and pasted from Twitter ignore typos and grammar 🥰
Keith can still hear it, the moment the coms clicked back to life ringing static in his ears where there was once only silence.
From shiro demanding checks ins all the way to Lance's line remaining silent.
Everything from that mission was a blur, a nightmare.
Keith's throat burns from the way he'd yelled through the coms for lance. His eyes ache from the tears he'd finally allowed to fall once they'd learned why he'd been so quiet.
Keith can still feel Lances dead weight collapse into his arms, can still feel the blood drenching him as he rushed lance to Coran hoping and praying to whatever God exists to please
Please don't let lance die
let him be fast enough
And he was, if ever so slightly
Lance had lost too much blood, Coran had said. Had Keith been any slower....had lance not managed to- God Keith can't even allow himself to finish the thought
It makes him feel sick to his stomach to know lance had been corned alone..
And now Keith stands outside of his pod next to the entire team looking at a battered lance that isnt nearly as whole as the one they'd last seen. They’d cut off his leg, it wasn’t clean nor did Coran have to tell them it was quick. They all knew it wasn’t. Couldn’t have been with how jagged and rough the slices appear to have been if the marking left on lances thigh were anything to go by. They’d butchered him alive making sure with every slice he’d suffered.
What their enemies failed to account for was that lance was a paladin of voltron, a master sniper and a damn good soldier good at getting himself out of just about any scenario and all the tight spots.
From the footage Pidge was able to scrape from that cursed vessel he’d done just that while laying in a pool of his own blood thanks to pure will power alone. He’d survived where they - the enemy- hadn’t. In doing so Lance discovered something none of them knew possible, not even Allura and Coran thought it a possibility. He’d turned his bayard into a temporary prosthetic.
Lance was the first paladin to ever manage turning his bayard into anything other than a weapon. The first to ever turn his bayard into something the likes of what hed managed.
“It’s unheard of” Allura murmured “for the bayard to become something as such- I cannot fathom how he managed such a feat.”
“Didn’t you once say the bayards would take the form of what the paladin needed?”
“I-“
“Wouldn’t that, in theory, mean we could make them anything we needed? Tools, equipment, or like Lance did- a new limb.” Pidge continues.
“I suppose so…” Allura says, pensive with her glance towards lances pod “we will have to revisit this one he can tell us how he did so.”
Keith looks away from the two, staring at the pod, at how unmoving lance is and thinks: It doesn’t matter how he did it, only that he’s ok after the fact.
~*~
Lance woke two weeks after the mission that plagued Kieth with nightmares.
In his sleep hed see lance bleeding out alone, hed see lance draggging himself desperately across the floor calling out his name….so now, now Keith waits outside of lances pod day and night. He sleeps curled up next to the pod that way when he wakes from these nightmares Keith can glance up and see lances moving chest. He can see the healing pods progress on lances damaged flesh with his own two eyes and calm every bit of turmoil resting in his veins.
Lance wakes to Keith once again holding out his arms, and once he falls, holding him in them.
Keith had waited to catch lance, had refused to let anyone else stand where he was so hed be able to do so. And he’s glad he had, Lance didn’t joke. Didn’t smile or make any random comments or say any questions. He was so unlike himself in that moment that right then and there they all realized just how hard this journey would be for not only lance but the rest of them.
Lance buried his face into Keith’s shoulder with a shaken exhale. Keith only pulls him in closer, more secure, because he knows that sound, Lance is holding back tears.
“It’s ok, I’ve got you.” Keith whispers softly, sliding up a hand to pet lances hair comfortingly “we’ve all got you.”
The team joins their embrace as lance finally allows himself to sob, the pain wrenching through his throat, the tears soaking through Keith’s shirt. But finally, finally lance allows himself to feel it all. To feel the fear, the relief he never lets himself have during that mission and they’d all be there as he worked thorough it.
Keith places a soft kiss to lances nape “I’ve got you sweetheart, I’ve got you.”
It’s Keith that holds lance through the night after that with the entirety of the team sleeping nearby to remind him that when he wakes from those nightmares he isn’t alone.
It’s Keith that lance responds the most too first.
Lance tells him everything he can remember, how the ground felt so cold, how everything was spinning so fast. The silence being loud and deafening and the burn of his leg being cut off being unlike anything hed ever felt before.
“I can still feel it.” Lance says one night as they look out at the stars “the ache from the first slice, the nerves being cut…”
Keith chances a glance at the blue paladin, he takes in his hallowed eyes, the way he looks so far away.
“Coran said it was normal, the phantom pains. I just want it to stop…” lance turns to look Keith in the eye, the emotions he feels finally showing in them “will it ever stop Keith?”
“I don’t know.” Keith replies, knowing Lance doesn’t need white lies. He squeezes lances hand in comfort “but, regardless, we’re all here for you lance. You don’t have to do any of this alone, no matter how long it takes.”
After that night they were inseparable.
Anytime anyone looked for lance all they had to do was look for Keith.
They did lances physical therapy together, they did his checkups together, training, meals, sleeping….you name it.
Shiro even talked Lance through the emotions and traumas that deal with looking such a permanent part of yourself and Keith stayed near the entire time.
It wasn’t that he was trying to be overwhelming or suffocating, Keith swears he isn’t trying to be too much. Every-time he even thinks about letting lance out of his sight he remembers that look in his eye, the one on his face filled with pain and fear and- Keith just can’t do it. He can’t leave lance alone. Not until he’s better.
Lance should be happy! Should have light in his eyes that make them brighter than the sun, should have a laugh that reverberates through the room like a song. He should be picking fights with Keith, arguing with Pidge, starting challenges that get them all to take care of themselves indirectly so he doesn’t ruin his cool guy image.
And Keith will be dammed if he doesn’t make sure lance get to that point again.
~*~
It’s Pidge that make the new prosthetic with the help of hunk and the olkari. Lances new leg is made to be lightweight, agile, waterproof, similar in feeling to his human leg for balance with the flexibility to match so that he can still swim and bend to his hearts content. They make sure it could disguise itself with “flesh’ that matches his skin so that is he wished to conceal his loss more privately or for certain occasions he could do so through his healing process and beyond.
“And anything you want added we’ll do it.” Pidge adds as she goes through the list of all the things his prosthetic can do once attached “any enchantment at all. You can even ask for us to make it glow in the dark or play pit bulls Mr worldwide every time you touch down on a new planet. We’d never say no to you.”
That gets a small smile from lance as he runs his fingers ever so lightly across the alien metal surfaces. Keith watches him do so, watches him be so gentle and lost in his touch. It’s nice to see him trying even if they all know this is difficult for him still.
“What if I want it to kick Keith’s ass?” Lance jokes lightly trying to keep the mood from going too south.
For the first time in weeks they see lance laugh, they see him crack jokes and send jabs at comments Pidge gives in reply. The entire conversation with the two mad scientist of the team is full of wisecracks and laughter about all the crazy enhancements they could possibly add to the leg.
“What if you make multiple and one is a cannon—“
“Why a cannon?”
“So I can bust a kneecap and still blow everyone away with my presence!”
Keith will find shiro later and thank him for talking lance through what its like to loose a limb, how to handle it, how the prosthetic healing process will feel once attached. And all shiro will do is clap Keith on the shoulder and say “you aren’t giving yourself enough credit there kiddo. If anyone is pulling weight here its you, you’re keeping him grounded and I can tell it means the world to him.”
That sentiment sits with Keith as he goes through the day, as he gets lance and himself ready for bed, as he lays down next to lance, sharing their covers, and whisper goodnights. It sits with him as he holds lances hand through the attachment surgery that he’d insisted he stay for. They’d tried everything to get Keith to leave but lance looked so woefully upset at the thought that they allowed Keith to stay so long as he was thoroughly and properly sanitized.
He ran a thumb across lances hand from his bedside until he woke up after the fact and kissed his hand with a gentle “good morning” when those blue eyes met his own.
Lances weak smile in response was still a smile that Keith would hold like a trophy.
The healing journey that followed was rough as expected, with many ups and down as no healing is linear.
Lance would get frustrated at his balance, at the leg, at the loss. He’d be angry he couldn’t feel things like he used to, couldn’t feel the ground, couldn’t run like he could before.
Shiro built his training regimen to mirror what hed wished he had when hed gotten his arm and it helped but not nearly as much as the pep talks and brutal honesty Keith would provide during his spirals.
At a certain point Keith even resulted to doing what lance used to do to him, taunt and utilize the rivalry card.
“Giving up already?” He’d say and lance would snarl in response and rise to the challenge if not to win out of sheer petiteness. “That all you got?” “This is the paladin that unlocked more about the bayards?”
Lance would come at Keith like a lion, one out for blood and fierce in his movements. He went from sloppy to more graceful, from a tilt-a-whirl to a proper fighter. Lance was able to swim again, not as strong as before but hed get there and all of them noticed the progress flourish around Keith.
Keith and the rivalry, the challenger, the one that figured out he could use lances own tactics against him. It all worked like a charm.
Through it all lances bayard never once veered from a weapon. Allura had watched closely hoping and praying that he could do it again that he could turn the bayard in to anything else so that they could all learn how to do so too. But no matter the efforts they all fell flat.
Lance couldn’t remember how hed done it, much too delirious from the blood loss, pain and hallucinations. And all through the weeks hed lacked a prosthetic at all hed still never managed to do the transformation a second time.
Keith blocks a sharp kick form lances new leg and rolls away before a second lands “a kick like that wont get you anywhere McClain!”
Lance pushes on attempting to knock Keith off balance with his leg “if you think I’m done you’ve got a big storm coming kogane!”
The spar goes like a dance, twirling and yielding, dodging and gliding. Two halves of a whole, red and blue.
Lance spins around to dodge Keith and just as Keith goes to follow Lance knocks him off his feet. Keith doesn’t care one bit but for lances triumphantly whoop, that’s the best prize in the world.
~*~
It’s not until the next major mission they go on, the first since lances injury, that everything is brought back full circle.
They get cornered by space pirates and they take their bayards away. Lance and Pidge both mouth off at the crew who bite back with pride that they’ll get quite the bounty for them all.
Thrown into prison cells beneath the deck they sit and wait attempting to come up with a plan to unlock the cell doors.
During the midst of the arguments, the back and forths, Pidge challenges lances ideas. Everyone was frustrated, tired, all in disagreement. It was bound for insults to arise that were not truly meant.
“Why don’t you just unlock the door then Einstein!”
Lance gasps in offense “FINE! I WILL!”
“Fine!”
And before their very eyes lances hand summons forth his bayard “you just can’t handle that I might have some good ideas sometimes can you?!”
“Lance—“
“I can think too ya know! I went to the garrison too!” Lance shouts, flailing his arm around and the bayard transforms into a key.
“Lance!” Pidge laughs in awe but he continues on as if they aren’t all starting at him in their amazement.
He turns sharply to unlock the door, throws it open with a huff, and turns to put his hands on his hips. “SEE! My plans aren’t so bad—“
“LANCE!” They all yell, but not in anger, no…they yell in joy. He’d finally figured it out, Lance did it again and this time they’d seen it with their own eyes.
Keith just smiles on, taking lances hand to run “we can talk about this later, we need to get off this ship.”
“Talk about what?!” Lance asks, breaking into a run right alongside Keith, his hand lacing together with Keith’s.
It’s not until they jump ship (literally) and run to their lions that Keith finally gives Lance a response “ how amazing you are.”
If the two stand hand in hand during the debriefing, well, no one bats n eye nor speaks a word of it.
~*~
Turns out it was due to high emotions, Lance being able to use his Bayard as a true tool rather than a weapon. Lance feels so much naturally, so freely, that when his emotions went beyond anything he’d felt before, his bayard heard him through the paladin bond and that formed an entirely new connection. After that relating the use was easier.
Now Lance needed any emotion to turn his bayard into a tool so much as he willed it to be. The downside being that the transformation was much more draining than the usual weapon call would be. Never the less it remained a usual advantage for a variety of possible scenarios and situations that allowed it.
Training for how the others could do so, however, was deemed much too risky due to the circumstances behind the discovery. Allura and Shiro both agreed the risk far too high.
“It’s best to allow it to happen naturally…we’d not want to damage you to make it possible. You all go through so much already.” Allura tells them with a small smile “but—“ she glanced over to Lance, beaming with pride “I know that all of you are strong, and thanks to Lance we now know it to even be a Possibility. We can be prepared for anything.”
Keith slides a hand around lances waist, resting his head on his shoulder “ told you so.” He says softly so that only Lance may hear it.
Lance glances down at him “told me—?”
“You were amazing, are amazing”
Lance just sniffles, trying his best to hold back the tears “ only as amazing as you make me.”
Keith hugs him, pushing all his love into it. When Lance returns the embrace he knows his message was heard loud and clear. This is how voltrons sniper learns he is so much more. More than a weapon, more than a soldier. A tool perhaps, but also an inspiration to his peers, a part of a family, and most of all: someone to love.
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14th-century-verona-queer · 1 month ago
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GUYS
GUYS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND
I USED TO LOVE VOLTRON WHEN I WAS YOUNGER LIKE I LOOOOOOOOVED THAT SHOW
OBVS ITS BEEN A LARGE NUMBER OF YEARS (WILL NOT BE SPECIFYING HOW LONG IN ODER NOT TO DATE MYSELF TYVM) AND I HAVENT HEARD ANY OF THE CHARACTER’S VOICES IN A HELLA LONG TIME
I TOOK A LITTLE GANDER ON PINTREST CAUSE I WANTED TO SEE WHAT LANCE SOUNDED LIKE TO SEE IF IT WAS THE SAME AS I REMEMBERED AND
BITCH WHAT THE ACTUAL FRESHLY-SQUEEZED BEETS FUCK??
I DID NOT IMAGINE THIS MAN TO HAVE THIS SLIGHTLY DEEP VOICE THAT IS LITERALLY EQUIVALENT TO KEITHS (except Keith has more gravel to his voice) I THOUGHT THIS MAN SOUNDED LIKE FUCKING BEN SCHWARTZ.
I AM SO DISRTUBED RN
HAVE I BEEN LYING TO MYSELF ALL THESE YEARS?
DOES CORAN HAVE AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT OR IS THAT ANOTHER THING MY STUPID MEMORY MADE UP??????
WHAT THE HELL GUYS??????
ON A SIDE NOTE IF THERES EVER A REBOOT OF VOLTRON (AND AN ACTUAL GOOD ONE WITH BUDGET PLEASE) I HAVE A SHORT LIST OF REQUESTS
Make Lance be voiced by Ben Schwartz cause no way this mans has a (semi-deep) ish voice??
Klance is cannon
keep the rest of the cast from voltron EXCEPT FOR LANCE
DO NOT BY ANY MEANS KILL ALLURA. YOU WANT LANCE TO HAVE ALTEA CHEEK MARKS? MAKE IT HAPPEN BY THEIR CLOSE BOND IDFK
LANCE DOES NOT END UP AS A FUCKING FARMER WTF?
The whole gang wear dresses for AT LEAST once fight
we figure out why tf allura’s mom was always wearing pink like who was she mourning??
she-ra and the princesses of power reference
black paladin lance cause YOU CANNOT TELL ME HE ISNT PERFECT FOR THE JOB. SHIRO CAN BE MENTORING ON TEH SIDELINES OR SOME SHIT OR MAYBE THEY FIND A KICKASS SHIP THAT IS A GOOD ASSET IDK??
Cursing, cursing, CURSING. My girl pidge needs to say fuck at least once an episode. Make it at least pg-13 or something bro.
Yup thats it! (Will probably continue to update as I spontaneously gain new ideas)
Fr haven’t watched the show in a long time so i dont even remember the plot, so go wild! Make them go on new adventures! Do fun shit! Idk! I just can’t keep living off of fanart knowing that it will never become a reality!
(Lowkey if anyone knows how to pitch ideas to people who will make this shit happen pls lmk cause i need cannon klance like i need air to breathe. But just be forewarned i have like 50 cents to my name)
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foolinafable · 3 months ago
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iv. genesis
SYNOPSIS: He doesn’t know how to love. You know this and yet you would still give everything just to be with him- even for just a moment. Or the story of how you and Keith finally get together. PAIRING: Keith Kogane x Altean reader WORD COUNT: 4.9k TAGS: Slowburn, Angst, extreme cannon compliance, fighting SERIES LINK: a love as cold as ours
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You aren't sure if this could get any worse, sat in the control room of the Castle of lions which has completely shut down because Shiro put in a kill protocol. Pidge was able to turn it off but the castle has lost significant power and the battle with Lotor is far from finished so you needed to keep your energy and strength.
Everything happened so fast, earlier on today you, Lotor and Allura had just made it into the quintessence field, all of your hard work had paid off and you were so happy and now- now you struggled to know how to feel.
Your heart hurt from Lotors betrayal as he had become a very close friend, a brother almost in the time you spent together but you were sure that wasn't the only reason you were feeling this way.
Keith's sudden return has sent you spiralling all the emotions you locked away after your confrontation during the Kral Vera have been thirsty to the surface leaving you upset and angry. It hurts you to know that while he was one of the most important people in your life he just saw you as a nuisance. You have come to terms with the idea that you did love him, it wasn't just some factless infatuation that went away when he did and even now when you would rather be face to face with Lotor than with him, deep down you still love him and you hate yourself for it greatly- I mean there is nobody else to blame it’s like he told you he can’t love and even if he could he really doesn't want to. You were stupid to think that maybe one day he would change his mind, especially for you of all people who he clearly just want to leave him alone.
“You still bleeding” Lance huffed from behind you, hand on your shoulder to make you aware of his presence, you simply turned to him in confusion eyebrows knitted together as he pointed to the nash on your forehead from when Shiro knocked you out your eyes brightened in recognition smiling in thanks but before you could get around to fixing yourself up Keith appeared on the comms, you averted your gaze when it seemed like he staring right at you and simply blocked him out as you used your powers to heal your forehead letting Lance and Allura take control of the situation- not that he would want your input anyway.
You simply skimpier off towards the lions when he shows Lotor’s location to prepare yourself and the rest of the lions for another altercation not even bothering to say anything. 
You didn’t like Allura’s plan. Not one bit.
Trapping Lotor in the quintessence field would probably not only kill him but also any chances of finding a permanent source of natural quintessence a clear way to bring peace to the Galaran empire and stop this war. If you break the entrance we would never be able to return meaning all the work put towards this would be for nothing. Alas, Allura was correct that this was the only way to stop Lotor. 
“Lotor will be here any second, what's the plan?” Pidge asked, looking at the destruction the lions had just created. 
“Well, the castle of lions has broken down. So there's no help there.” Allura spoke her thoughts aloud trying to find a pathway for the group. “The black lion isn't with us, so we can’t form Voltron. We are just going to need to do what we can” she finished sounding dejected.
“Got it, attempt to survive,” Pidge replied 
“Last time we fought Lotor, we had six ships and Lotor had two and he still kicked our butts. This time he has three ships while we have five” Hunk reminded us you simply took a shaky breath before speaking 
“Well it was never going to be easy” while Lance, annoyed, responded
“We don't have time for your maths equations hunk! Especially ones that result in us taking a beating” the rest of the team went quiet as Allura spoke to Coran.
When you saw the three ships appear, you tried to control your breathing as they got closer and you tightened your hands on the lion's controls. 
“We need not fight today, We are all on the same side” you heard Lotor speak over the comms tears filling your eyes as you thought about everything he had done- all the innocent lives he had taken and found yourself quickly filling with rage at the idea that he would ever be on the same side as you again- if he ever truly was.
“I know what you all must think of me now that you know my past. It doesn't have to change our future together. The truth is I want to harness the power of the quintessence field to better the universe, just like I said. Nothing has changed” you quickly interjected
“Everything has changed” your voice so sharp you heard him inhale in shock.
“You enslaved countless Alteans harnessing their life source for your personal gain. How many innocent lives did you destroy?” Allura raged at him
“Allura-” he tried to interject but she didn't let him
“How many?” 
“It’s true many alteans perished in my quest to unlock the mysteries of the quintessence. But I protected thousands more, and I rescued their culture- our culture. Both of you must understand I've given everything I have to plumb the depths of King Alfor’s knowledge, to unlock the mysteries of Oridane. We have come too far together, surely you can see the greatness we have accomplished and the greatness we have yet to. Join me, we are on the same side.” 
“No, we're not!” Allura roared as she sent a laser beam towards Lotors ship which he quickly dodged. You braced yourself knowing that now the real battle was about to begin. 
Everything was a blur, Lotor’s words afterwards and Alluras bites the only words echoing in your head were his “destroy the lions” the way he said it so easily, as if it was of no consequence to him and maybe it wasn't but it sent you spiralling barely able to dodge incoming attacks from Lotor and his generals and consistently missing your targets.
You knew Coran was able to get the castle working but only due to it nearly crashing into you and Lance.
Lotor was constantly trying to hit you and Allura raged in a way you had never seen before something crazed in the way he spoke about ridding of you all even the galra a fact that shocked not just you but also his generals who tried to escape when learning of his plans only to be ejected from there ships leaving them in space while the ships joined knot his to create a large robot similar to that of Voltron.   
“What is that thing?” Pidge questioned as the five of you looked up at the robot “He's created his own voltron.” Lance spoke your thoughts aloud 
“That is why he was using us- using me” Allura concluded 
“We helped him build this” you announced shock evident in your voice 
“Well the good news is it’s now four on one” Hunk spoke recalling his earlier words but before any more words could be spoken Lotor came rushing towards the group
 “Watch out” Allura shouted as you all quickly tried to disperse but he was too quick catching you and Lance with the robot’s fingers sending you flying and whipping Hunk backwards with its tail, Pidge tried to fire at the robot but it quickly dodged 
“It’s way faster than us” she hollered out as you all tried to get a hit in before being quickly body-slammed by the robot. Coran was able to get a shot in from the castle of lions but Lotor quickly sent one back sending the ship into a panic 
“Impossible, Lotor’s weapon has completely repelled the castle's attack!” Pidge screamed,
 “Coran shoot it with the cannon again!” Lance pleaded
 “I can’t” Coran replied the ship was now completely out of action 
“Pidge get out of his line of sight!” Lance screamed as she nearly got hit only for you to push her lion out of the way with your own causing the rest of them to scream your name in worry as you let out pained noises
“What are you doing?” Lance shouted at you as you moved once again into Lotors sight in the hope he would hit you again 
“If I can absorb enough of his power-” you stopped to grunt in pain as he hit you again “I might be able to give it back” Lance made a noise of confusion
“What do you mean- you going to get yourself killed” as he tried to move you lion away with his own
“I gave his ship the ability to do this so I must be able to do it myself” is all you replied as you once again moved towards Lotor
“But it's not safe” Lance pleaded 
“What other choice do we have- just sit around and let him destroy us all?” you shouted back when a choked gasp came from you once you were hit again sending you flying forward your  head hitting the console of your ship, you simply gritted your teeth as the team called out to you in worry but they were quickly all grunting and screaming themselves as Lotor locked onto them 
“We can’t take this much longer!” Allura shouted fear evident in her tone while Hunk was shouting for Lance as he went flying from Lotor’s impact. Before you could gather enough energy to send something his way all the lions had shut down, seemingly unable to fight any longer and the paladins were completely out of options.
“It didn’t need to end like this, but you have made your choice” Lotor spoke as he went to deal the final blow when the black lion finally appeared- it seemed that the fight was far from over. 
“Keith, how did you get here so fast?” Lance questioned, clearly astonished 
“I had some help” was all he replied “Now hurry we don’t have much time. Form voltron!” Keith quickly sent a space pod with Shiro's body inside towards the castle
“Coran you’ve got incoming” and he couldn’t have gotten Shiro away at a better time as Lotor quickly sent a blast towards Voltron but Lance and Pidge quickly activated the shield protecting you from the blast
“Hunk form canon” Keith commanded 
“You’ve got it” the yellow paladin grunted as he activated his weapon, sending a blast towards the Lotor who quickly moved out of its path even as the laser chased him not once did it hit his robot. 
“He’s too fast!” Lance called out alarmed 
“Then we will have to get in close, form a sword” Keith responded, his voice sounding raspier from all the shouting.
You quickly formed the sword and in retaliation, Lotor’s robot formed its own swords, one for each hand and came bounding towards Voltron causing the robot to move backwards due to Lotor’s robot’s momentum swords clashing against each other like a moth drawn to a flame.
Lotor sent you all flying back with a whip of his robot's tail as Pidge called out
“We can’t touch him, he's still too fast!”
“We need to stop him moving around, back him into a corner or something” Hunk strategised 
“Hunk is right, we need to eliminate his speed advantage, and limit his movements” Keith agrees. You all turned your heads to take notice of a large asteroid to the left of you
“There” Keith announced as you flew towards it hoping the curvature of the rock would allow you to trap Lotor within
“Now we lure him in close” and luckily Lotor took the bait following you right into the trap sending a blast towards you which you used the shield to block pushing you into the rock below solidifying your position and his continuous blasts caused the area to fill with ash from the rocks making him unable to see you anymore, he circled back trying to attack from behind
“Wait for him” Keith spoke softly as you heard him getting closer from behind the rock “Let him build up speed” you could hear the whirring of his engine get louder and faster
“Now!” Keith screamed as you moved the Voltron as quickly as you could as Lotor crashed into the rock from behind leaving an explosion of ash in his way.
Before he could realise what was happening you quickly threw Voltron in front of him firing both arm cannons right the robot’s body sending him crashing backwards as the middle of the asteroid caved in due to the weight and power.
“Where'd he go?” Hunk questions when you look into the hole as you see nothing. You all move the robot around looking for him when Pidge calls out worriedly 
“He’s behind us!”
Keith, quick to take action, calls out “Hunk, Hit him with the shoulder cannon!” to which the yellow paladin responds before preparing a blast
“Fire” Keith called out as Hunk sent the shot but as it got closer to Lotor he disappeared. 
“Did we get him?” Lance questioned 
“I don't know” Hunk responds hastily 
“I think we got him” Lance smiled 
“It looked like he just disappeared” Pidge spoke eyebrows furrowing in confusion
“Yeah! We got him!” Lance sounded out overjoyed
“I’m not so sure” Allura complained 
“That was too easy, that can’t be it” you spat out head whirling with ideas of where he could've gone and how you heard Keith make a noise of unease through the comms as your head turned to the side when you saw a hole open up with Lotor inside as he quickly sent a punch towards Voltron sending you flying back a strange purple hue surrounding his spaceship. 
“Is everyone okay” Keith grunts as he tries to recover from falling backwards into a rock
“How is he moving so fast?” Pidge interrupts 
“We’ve gotta get up and attack” Keith responds sending Voltron hurtling back towards him but he disappeared again before you could get close 
“Okay, so that time we definitely didn't get him” Lance says confused but before anyone else could speak you gasped out as Lotor appeared once again sending you backwards and then again appeared behind you sending another hit to the robot and then another causing you all to grunt in pain as he kept hitting you around like a ball on a ping pong table expect he was the only player.
He disappeared again, not immediately coming back when Hunk next spoke
“How can he keep disappearing like that?” to which Allura responded clearly shaken up
“He is, entering the quintessence field- at will!” causing you to take a shocked intake of breath while the other continued to question her idea
“How is able to do it?: you heard Pidge chime to which you responded
“I gave his ships the ability didn't I?” to which Allura sighed telling everyone that you were correct but before anything could be said Allura grunted as Lotor reappeared sending the ship backwards as you stayed the ship the shield quickly had to be activated as Lotor sent an extremely powerful blast towards you, much stronger than the ones previous sending the robot backwards due its sheer power causing a large explosion completely knocking down Voltron before disappearing once again into what you now released what the quintessence field.
“We have to go after him” Keith spoke clearly exhausted “Getting power from the quintessence is the only way we can match his strength”
“Can we do that” the yellow paladin questioned
“If he can, so can Voltron right?” Pidge asked you 
“My father did it once, but it was extremely dangerous” Allura called out
“Well I don’t think we have much of a choice princess” you called out 
“There right Allura, we have to try” Keith agreed with you sending annoyance to curl up into your being but now isn't the time to be upset- you could be upset if you make it out alive.
“I might be able to guide us in, but I don’t think I’m powerful enough” Allura concluded 
“Then I will do it just tell me what to do” you replied solemnly hoping that you were strong enough for this, that Alfor was correct to keep you alive in that sleeping pod instead of himself. 
“I will need everyone to focus their energy” Allura commanded “While you need to picture the quintessence field” You closed your eyes quickly picturing the abyss you had seen only hours prior when you could feel the energy of the paladins right next to you, guiding you.
You opened your eyes as a bright light appeared
“Form sword” you heard Allura call out as you flew towards the light hitting it in the centre with your sword causing light to reflect everywhere as the hole grew, your vision clouded in the brightness. 
You could hear the astonishment of the paladins as you began to open your eyes, in disbelief that you were here- the quintessence field
“I did it” you mumbled to yourself in relief but before you could bask in the beauty of the area you saw him, standing opposite you in the field, swords drawn both robots flew towards each other ready to engage in another battle purple meeting blue once more as the robots fought against one another. 
“We took a major shot, but I feel fine” Pidge comments to which Allura responded 
“All this quintessence is keeping us at full power” a comment that made you still worry
 “It’s more than that, can you hear your lions talking to you?” Keith asks and he was right you could feel your lion purring in the back of your head commanding you on what to do
“Voltron is capable of more than we imagined” he finished sending a laser towards Lotors ship while your hands and body were buzzing with power glowing even without you thinking about it an idea that amazed you but also made a feeling of dread appear in my stomach but you weren't sure why.
But you didn’t have enough time to voice it as Lotor came rushing back
“Attack!” Keith shouted and you went flying back into him sending shot after shot at him but you felt as if time was going too fast, barely able to keep up with what the other paladins were doing, a fog seeding to haze over your mind as your body began shaking and flinching. 
“Let's end this!” you heard Pidge scream
“Finish him!” Lance responded 
“Let's destroy that guy!” Hunk exclaimed 
“We have to get out here!” you heard Allura shout as she called out your name in worry at your lack of response while the other paladins sounded out confusion at her words
 “What are you talking about” Keith asked 
“This is exactly what happened to Zarkon! Exposure to all the quintessence turned him into a monster!” Allura shouted 
“She's right” you spoke breathlessly a lot quieter than normal “There’s too much of it everything- I don't know how much longer we have” but before anyone could question you more you heard Lotor’s voice calling out mockingly
“Poor alteans, all the power of the universe at your fingertips and your too afraid to use it!” then he flew towards you again 
“They are right we are out of control” Lance stated 
“All our systems are overloaded” Pidge called out 
“I know the feeling” you grunted out as the power signed through your body your sensitivity to quintessence was greater due to your power
“Here comes Lotor” Keith warned as you flew Voltron away from him now trying to escape him rather than fight him. 
“How do we stop this?” Hunk questioned 
“We give Lotor all the power he wants” Allura concluded as she pulled Voltron backwards to face him. 
“All this excess energy, I will just give it to him” you called out to paladins blocking away any of their worries as you closed your eyes and focused on the power within you, the connection to your lion caused you to also channel the burning power exceeding from Voltron causing a large beam to shoot out of lion chest right into Lotor robot that was still trying to inch closer to you, as the blast died down you could see Lotors robot was down sizzling and defeated as the haziness withdrew from your being, no longer shaking from all the quintessence your body was trying channel.
“Let's grab Lotor and get out of here” Keith announced as the alarms blared within the robot 
“No, we can’t! We need to leave now” Pidge responded and she was right there was only a matter of time before the quintessence got too much again
“We have to try!” Allura pleaded 
“Pidge is right, if we stay in here much longer and Voltron is done for” Hunk announced when a large crackle of energy hit Voltron sending you all groaning in pain 
“But we can't just leave him!” Allura argued as the ship was starting to sway electricity jolts electrocuting you all 
“Allura we have to go now” Lance pleaded 
“There isn't anything we can do for him anymore Allura” you spoke guilt wracking your voice that you were going to leave him here to die, a man you thought of even still as a brother
“Lotor made his choice. Let's get out of here Allura” Keith reasoned and Voltron finally moved away from him blasting out of the quintessence field through the hole you had created. 
“If we had stayed in the quintessence field, we would've kept fighting until we destroyed ourselves” Allura theorised “Just like Lotor.” 
“What did you do to him?” Keith asked you, his face appearing on your comms but you refused to look at him. “I transferred all the excess energy from myself and Voltron, it’s a technique I learned on Oridane, thanks to Lotor.”
“Thank you, you saved us” Lace replied solemnly as you stared at all the holes Lotor left into the quintessence field
“Not just us, the entire universe” Hunk concluded as the castle of lions drew closer behind you
“Oh! Your back” Coran declared relieved 
“Lotor is no longer a threat” Keith spoke mournfully 
“Right I’m afraid we face a bigger threat now” Coran began “All of Lotors jumping in and out of the quintessence field has created multiple growing rifts in the fabric of space and time”
“What does that mean?” Lance questioned dejectedly 
“It means unless we do something fast, those tears will continue to expand until all of existence as we know it has been destroyed” Pidge answered
“There has to be something we can do” Keith announced and he was right everything couldn't end here 
“Scanning the rift for any strand refabrication possibilities” Pidge announced 
“I’m running a few different models to see if there's any chance it can close on its own” Hunk added but both came up empty-handed. 
“How long do we have?” Keith asked 
“Well based on the way those rifts are expanding I’d say about 15 doboshes” Coran theorised 
“Allura, is there anything either of you can do?” Lance questioned
“I don’t know” Allura started “I just don’t have that alchemical knowledge” 
“The only thing that could possibly pull that rift close would be a source of gravity more powerful than a supermassive black hole” Pidge called out 
“Allura, Coran” you spoke hesitantly as an idea was brought forth into your mind “The teleduv” 
“What about it?” Keith questioned 
“They’re right, to make wormhole jumps, the teleduv creates a brief flash of infinite mass. There might be a way I can overload the reactor to seal the rifts. If one of the flashes went off on the rift it may be enough to close it- do the job”
Coran answered for you and despite him not being able to see you you smiled slightly in thanks, glad to know your idea wasn't crazy and that you didn't need to speak to him more than you needed to. 
“But that would mean, sacrificing the castle of lions” Hunk realised gloomily
“Well, what choice do we have? Either way, the castle would be wiped out.” Pidge reminded him
“But still” Hunk began pausing for a moment in contemplation “it’s been our home”
“I hate to say goodbye to my grandfather’s creation” Coran called out wistfully “The last piece of the real altea”
“That's not completely true- we are the last pieces of altea Coran don’t forget that” you attempted to comfort the older man
“Coran begin preparations” Allura called out
“Everyone else start unloading the castle, we need to evacuate immediately” You quickly transformed back into the lions and made your way for the last time into the hangers collecting items as you made your way into your rooms and other various location surround the castle collecting personal items but also weapons and technology that you could need.
Subconsciously you tried to stay out of Keith’s way just in case he tried to speak to you. The idea of having a conversation with him makes your throat feel tight and a pit arises in your stomach, your body trying to warn you away from him for safety, something it used to draw you towards him. Luckily he seemed disinterested in speaking with you at this moment, very busy clearing up and getting Shiro situated with his mother and space wolf within his lion.
You stood with Coran as he said goodbye to the castle waiting with him before he entered your lion with you
“Goodbye old friend” he called out as he initiated the teleduv before running with you to your lion and then rushing out the way with the rest of lions praying that this would work you looked at him with tears in your eyes as he touched your shoulder going to hold his hand as he stared at you with the same pain in his eyes.
You all grunted at the impact of the rift closing before it all disappeared as if it was never there in the first place.
“It worked” Hunk called out cheerfully 
“You did it Coran” Allura called out over comms as you looked at him again smiling sadly at him 
“And look” Hunk commented going closer to a blue light where the castle once was 
“What is it?” Keith asked 
“It’s a diamond” Hunk responded as his lion opened its mouth to take the crystal “The pressure crushed the castle of lions into this little crystal” You all smiled that the castle survived into something that Coran would always have- his grandfather's last surviving creation far from gone.
“Well, we saved all realties everywhere, what do you guys wanna do now?” Lance questioned glum 
“We need to find someplace to land,” Keith began, “and see if there is some way we can help Shiro.” so you all went flying forward looking for somewhere safe. 
── ✧
You landed on some sort of destroyed rocky planet and got Shiro out of the healing pod, Keith lay him on the ground as you all looked at him woefully “This body is barely living but Shiro’s spirit is still alive. It’s inside the Black lion, I've heard him talk to me.” Keith told you all
“He-he tried to tell me but I didn’t realise” Lance realised falling to his knees as tears shed from his eyes “I’m so sorry Shiro. I-I didn’t know. I- I could’ve-” Lance sobbed feeling defeated as you came up behind him to try and comfort him but he only stopped crying once Allura came up to the two of you grabbing your hand and moving you towards Shiro and the black lion while she touched Lance’s shoulder with the other, you immediately understood what she knew you could do.
You quickly connected with the black lion, hands glowing as you did, the black lion outlined in your purple quintessence as its eyes glowed. Your body quickly became purple like the lion as it transferred Shiro's soul to you. You walked towards Shrio’s hands on his head as you began to transfer his soul into this body, the glow transferring to him making his hair go white.
Everyone held a berated breath as they waited for something, anything to happen and then his eyes opened- Shiro was alive.
He quickly sat up coughing before he once again collapsed into Keith but the black lion roared in happiness causing the rest of the lions to roar in response causing a smile to grace your face as the others cheered and cried.
“You found me” you heard Shiro speak quietly to Kieth using all his strength
“We’re glad you’re back Shiro” was all he replied while Allura came up to you
“Rest,” she said directed at Shiro but you knew from how her eyes drifted to you it was meant for you also, she could take it from here for the time being. 
“So what are we going to do?” Hunk questioned “The castles been destroyed” 
“There is only one place that has the plans necessary to build a replacement” Pidge announced “Coran gave them to my dad” 
“We’re going home.” Keith announced.
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armoricaroyalty · 10 months ago
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𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 / ❛ boy crazy ❜ part two (@nexility-sims)
When Zofia walked into a room, everyone noticed. It might have been the enormity of her hair or the constant noise of her rings and bracelets or else the overwhelmingly sweet scent of her favorite body mist, but she was captivating in every sense of the word. Hannah had been jealous of her, once upon a time. It would have been impossible to grow up with her without any jealousy: next to Zofia, everyone became shabby and dull. Ranks didn't matter at all, no title or royal honor could ever compete with that kind of natural charisma. Hannah loved her, but there had been days when she'd hated her, too. Now, though, she was only grateful. When Zofia walked in, nobody noticed the rest of them slipping out.
read part one here
author's note: @nexility-sims and I have been working on the zofia/rui romance since....early 2022? some time in 2021? since #rufia has completely dominated 2/3 of our joint brain power for years, it seemed fitting to finally let them out of our DM's to celebrate Love Day Valentine's Day. Happy V-Day, everyone!
Transcript under the cut.
CHEF | Aren't long nails against dress code, anyway? SERVER | [laughs] Girl, I don't give a fuuu— SERVER | You wanna know who else is wearing acrylics tonight? CHEF | [bored] I dunno, who? SERVER | Oh, nobody, just the Princess Zofia. CHEF | [gasps] CHEF | Shut. Up. You actually talked to her? What was she like? SERVER | She's fucking gorgeous. Like, obviously, but up close, she's even more beautiful. CHEF | Yeah, yeah, but what was she like? SERVER | Okay, so I didn't actually talk to her because she was all over her new boyfriend. They were like, so into each other. It was so sweet. CHEF | Really? I heard it's just a PR relationship so people will think she's over Sigis. SERVER | No way! They're obviously crazy abut each other. You can't fake— UNIDENTIFIED MAN | [offscreen] EVERYBODY OUT! HUGO | What, do I gotta say it again? All of you, clear out! HANNAH | [sighs] Please excuse us. HANNAH | My cousin and I need somewhere to speak privately. Will you please excuse us for a moment? CHEF | ??? SERVER | [shrugs] HUGO | ...anyway, did you see it? HANNAH | See what? HUGO | That stupid little hair flip. He did it a million times. HANNAH | He's growing it out for her. HUGO | Really? Hard to believe, he's so fucking vain. HANNAH | She told me she asked him to grow it long. [deep, beleaguered sigh] She thinks it's sexy. HUGO | What, are you for real? HANNAH | Oh yeah. She's always had a thing for guys with long hair. HUGO | ...huh. HANNAH | Anyway...what's your take? Personally, I don't see what she sees in him. HUGO | [snorts] He's better than Marshall. HANNAH | That's the world's lowest bar. Subterranean, in fact. HUGO | So what are we going to do? HANNAH | He's not a dog, we can't just run him off. HUGO | Well, you can't, but maybe if I— PIDGE | [offscreen] HEY! What are you two talking about? PIDGE | ...and why are you hanging out in the kitchen? ARTHUR | ....hi. HUGO | [icily] Farrier. HANNAH | It's late, Pidge. What are you still doing up? PIDGE | Uh, excuse you. Mama said I can stay until midnight. ARTHUR | ...you two aren't talking about Rui and Zofie, are you? HUGO | ... HANNAH | ...no. PIDGE | You two are such LIARS! PIDGE | Both of you are judgy control freaks! I thought he was really nice. HUGO | He could barely string a sentence together. ARTHUR | I mean...Armorican is his third or fourth language, isn't it? HUGO | Whatever! He gives me the creeps. HANNAH | Well, she says she's in love. HUGO | [scoffs] In love? They've known each other for six months. PIDGE | So? What if it was love at first sight? HANNAH | [exasperated] Pidge— HUGO | Just ignore her, she's fourteen. PIDGE | For your information, I'm fifteen. And I'll be sixteen in May, sooo— HUGO | Yeah, a baby— ARTHUR | Can I remind everyone that Zofia is twenty-two? She's an adult, she can make her own choices, and this is none of our business. HUGO | You're right, Farrier. It's none of your business. HANNAH | [offscreen] Hugo, enough. PIDGE | [mouthing] Rude. HANNAH | Arthur, what was your read? ARTHUR | I don't know, and I don't want to form a judgment until I've actually gotten to know him. He seems...fine? On par with the other guys she's dated. HANNAH | [sighs] "On par with all her other boyfriends" is the entire problem. HANNAH | I just don't want her to get hurt again. This happens every time, you know? She falls hard and fast and then the guy turns out to be a scum-sucking lowlife. PIDGE | [laughs] Hellooooo, what about Van? He was— HANNAH | Probably thw worst of all of them. Trust me, Pigeon. He's...he's no good. HUGO | [jokingly] You see, baby bird? That's why you're not allowed to date until you're thirty and why Hannah's gonna join a convent— PIDGE | No way, that's not fair. HANNAH | [tiredly] Hugo, shut up. No one asked. PIDGE | Yeah, Hugo. No one asked. ARTHUR | Look, I think we should at least give the guy a chance. HANNAH | [sighs] I guess we owe her that much. PIDGE | Guys, I actually talked to him, and trust me: he is like, sooo nice. HUGO | ... HUGO | I bet I could take him. PIDGE | Hey! Hannah, did you hear what he just said—
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alluraaaa · 1 year ago
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i am once again expanding on my ideas of how i’d write voltron but this time it’s thanks to @iveofficiallygonemad’s encouragement to hear about the galra generals
so first off, lotor + the generals should have been foils to the paladins, minus shiro cuz he’s missing when they’re introduced. the paladins being everyone in their OG lion + allura in black for reasons i’ve explored a buncha times already. the foils would be: lotor and allura, acxa and keith, narti and pidge, ezor and lance, and hunk and zethrid.
each one of these pairs has some surface level traits that are extremely similar if not identical, while having deeper traits that are completely opposite. allura and lotor are both royalty and their team’s leader, but with completely different moralities and approaches to ruling/leading. keith and acxa are both the right hands (and look so similar that ppl thought they were secret twins lmaooo) but where acxa is cold and calculating, keith is impulsive and hot-headed. both pidge and narti are very agile and keep secrets, but pidge hacks computers and narti hacks people’s minds. lance and ezor are both adaptable and outgoing, but ezor has a cruelty to her that lance doesn’t, instead being very kind. similar to them, hunk and zethrid are both powerhouses, but hunk knows to use his power responsibly while zethrid loves fighting for the sake of it. there could have been an excellent showcase here of how the team with more kindness and compassion are always beating the team that’s more cruel and uncaring.
now i don’t like the narti died, and i maintain that lotor should have been redeemed— not because i particularly like his character in canon, but because he could’ve had a much better one. he was clearly shown to have shitty parents, and it would’ve been so much more satisfying to see him rebel against them and break the cycle as it were. and with the blade of marmora being an organization of galra working against the empire, it’s clear where they could go.
i’m imagining a plotline of zarkon being resurrected or whatever happened in those seasons, and lotor being told him + his team now have no use, they were just a stand-in for zarkon while he was down and out. it’d be the final straw for him, and he’d storm off, his parents assuming his just throwing a tantrum. in reality, he’s convincing the generals— who are really the closest thing he has to friends— to just defect from the empire.
acxa has an undying loyalty to lotor, so she’s open to whatever he wants to do. ezor and zethrid are very chaotic neutral, down for whatever strikes their fancy in the moment and in this moment the idea sounds exhilarating and fun. they aren’t outright villains anymore but they’re still quite fucked up and tbh. good for them!
as for narti, she was killed in canon before she got any sort of personality, so i’m gonna hang onto the foil concept and base some personality and backstory on pidge’s. narti is very curious about life outside the empire, because the empire is all she’s known. she was a child soldier from day one. she also wants to get more knowledge about her powers and non-galran heritage, because it’s as much a mystery to her as it is to everyone else. she’s kind of always wanted to defect, but didn’t have the bravery to do so alone.
so they run away with no real plan of what to do. lotor wants a life outside of his father, but his father is ever expanding the empire, so he keeps losing places that are just his. that, plus his first hand witness of what the empire actually does, opens his eyes to the cruelty of his father’s colonization. that drives him to wanting to outright fight back against his father and the generals, who have been watching the same things, are right there with him.
acxa is watching the empire from an outsider’s position, and she’s seeing the real danger of being a mindless follower. she’s watching countless soldiers follow the orders of a handful of generals, and watching those generals not care when the soldiers get hurt or even die, because they’re just numbers and forces to the generals. she realizes that she should be making her own decisions and that even if she trusts lotor, he shouldn’t be the one in charge of her life.
narti is at first one track minded in finding her other parent’s home planet, but time and time again she watches a similar devastation happen on other planets. families get separated, important cultural artifacts are damaged, history documentation is destroyed. she learns she isn’t the only one dealing with this, and she doesn’t want any more people to suffer the same fate she has.
ezor and zethrid have been spending this time like a vacation from work, doing whatever seems most fun and rewarding. but they eventually start to see the empire repeatedly ruining their fun, and they don’t like it. they’d tell the others they don’t want zarkon interrupting them anymore and they don’t, but a large part of it is also seeing the hurt on their friends’ faces whenever they get caught in a firefight again. they love each other, and they love their friends, and they don’t want any of them getting hurt.
now obviously team voltron and their various allies wouldn’t trust lotor and co. but time and time again they’d see them helping voltron and hurting the empire how they can. eventually, there’s be tentative teamwork and down the line, they’d be invited to join the blade of marmora.
immediately all five of them would notice the familiarity between the blades and the empire. there’s basically no difference between their mottos; the blade is uncomfortably okay with letting soldiers die if it means getting the mission done.
the generals want to say something, but lotor doesn’t want to stir the pot too much. their position is very weak, there’s still very little trust in them. to come out the gate opposing how everything is done wouldn’t be good.
but the blade trusts voltron, doesn’t it? and one of the paladins is also a blade. so… they find keith and talk to him, telling him that while the blade has a good cause unlike the empire, both are a little too cool with letting people die, and it’s more than kind of upsetting.
keith, who is way too self sacrificial, doesn’t see a problem with this, but brings it up next time he’s with voltron. everyone is surprised by lotor + co’s behavior and ideals, and start to trust them more
i’m starting to lose steam here but um. lotor + co being good guys and the five of them co-leading the blade and making it better than the empire :-) they all get their own mini character arcs within this collective group arc and no one is killed for shock factor and no one is pushing the narrative of abused kids turning out just like their parents and continuing the cycle <3
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sonekwi · 7 months ago
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☆ ⸻ the white paladin, keith x reader
chapter six: so sorry, pidge!
characters/pairings: keith kogane, female reader
genre: fanfiction
summary: keith invites you to spar with him, and poor pidge walks in on something rather questionable.
word count: 1,596
links: previous, next, wattpad, masterlist
a/n: i'm so sorry for being gone for a month! i wrote a shorter chapter this time to stand in as a filler, next one will be the usual 3,000+ words. thanks for reading though, i hope you enjoy!
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A week has gone by and you find yourself missing Earth more with each passing day. The team managed to form Voltron again and you've been training with them as much as you can, but no matter how busy you try to keep yourself, your mind always finds its way back to Earth. When it does, homesickness grabs you and doesn't let go.
You and Lance often find each other at the end of the day and sit in each other's company. Even if your brother is in a good mood and smiling when he's around the team, you know that facade disappears when everyone's gone. You both miss your family more than anything, but having each other makes it a little bit better.
You spend your time in the White Lion's hangar whenever you're not training or sleeping. You'll sit on the floor, leaning against its massive, metal paws, simply talking about whatever is on your mind. You haven't gotten around to asking Coran about the mysterious Lion yet, still wondering why King Alfor would hide it away. When you ask the White Lion directly, the answers feel cryptic and unclear, as if it doesn't know itself.
Footsteps echo along the tall walls of the hangar and you look up from the small gadget in your hands. Pidge had asked your help with it, knowing that you had taken a couple of engineering and computer science classes at the Garrison. So far, you haven't been able to get anywhere with it.
Keith walks over to you, his bayard in his hand and dressed in clothes fit for exercising. You look him up and down, your heart beating anxiously in your chest. It takes everything in your power to keep a calm exterior. You don't know what you would do if he found out about your little crush on him.
"I'm heading to the training deck," he announces, "Do you want to join? I could use a sparring partner."
You can't help yourself from suddenly fantasizing about the various scenarios that could happen, nearly all of them involving a sweaty, panting Keith who takes off his shirt. You quickly feel a flustered heat rising to your neck and face, and honestly, you should be ashamed of yourself. He is your friend, and will probably only ever be your friend.
As you stand, you shove the thoughts and rising embarrassment away, excitedly accepting Keith's offer, "Sure! I'll go get my bayard."
After being scolded by Allura for the umpteenth time for not keeping it nearby, you only had to walk across the hangar to retrieve it. Once the cool metal of the handle is within your grasp, the weapon materializes into its scythe form. You test the weight of it in your hand as you turn back to Keith.
     "Alright, let's go!" you smile.
     As you and Keith make your way to the training deck, you try your best not to stare at him. It's a short walk, thankfully, and you don't have to fight yourself for very long.
     "What are you thinking? Weapons, no weapons?" you ask as you step further into the room. It's wide and open, and you've gotten familiar with the space after spending most of your time here. You can almost hear Allura's voice still echoing off the walls.
     "We can start with no weapons," Keith says and sets his bayard down on the floor. He takes off his jacket as well, your eyes not-so-discreetly watching him. When he looks at you, you shamefully avert your gaze.
     Focus, (y/n)! He's your friend! You scold yourself, rubbing the back of your neck with embarrassment. You can practically feel the heat rising off of it.
     Keith places himself in the center of the room and stretches as he waits for you. You set your bayard near his and roll your shoulders. When you start before Keith, you bring your fists up and ask, "Do you want to count down–"
     Keith moves fast and you barely manage to block the attack. Your arm throb at the impact, and you glare at him. "Oh, it's so on."
     Your friend only chuckles, and the two of you quickly settle into your sparring match. You don't hold back, making Keith work for his victory if he wants it.
     Memories of the Garrison pop up in your mind. You and Keith would often train together after class. Sometimes well into the night before a faculty member would kick you out of the gym, chewing you out for being out past curfew.
     Even back then, you were fighting your feelings for him. You tried to convince yourself you only admired and adored him so much because he was your friend. It worked, for a short while, until he dropped from the Garrison. At that point, your anger overpowered your hopeless crush.
     Your reminiscing distracts you, and Keith knocks you on your feet and pins you down. He sits on top of you, holding your hands above your head, his legs straddling your hips to keep you from rolling. As you stare at him with wide eyes, the panting, sweaty sight of him makes your cheeks burn.
     He stares back at you as his grip on your wrists tightens. "Do you yield?" he asks, a proud grin spreading on his face.
     It was a simple question he would always ask when he had you pinned, restrained, or disarmed, even if he knew you wouldn't. But the tone of his voice was different this time...
     His eyes flick down for a second before returning to yours. Your flustered thoughts race faster, knowing exactly what he glanced at. You panic, and your heart feels like it's going to burst out of your chest.
     "Hey, guys? Shiro wants us–"
     You and Keith look toward the door.
     Pidge stands there, silently wishing to crawl into a hole as he tries to figure out what he just walked in on. But then he promptly turns to leave, "You know what? I don't even want to know. Just change and meet us on the bridge."
     Immediately, you push Keith off and scramble to your feet. You run your hands over your face and stride over to your bayard. "He is never going to let us live that down," you say.
     "I don't know, he looked like he probably never wants to bring it up. Ever," Keith says.
     "Wanna bet?" you ask.
     "Knowing you, you'd try to make the odds in your favor," Keith shakes his head, feigning disappointment. But you catch the small tug on the corners of his lips.
     "You're right," you chuckle. "I so would."
⁀➷
Standing on the bridge, you look around at the glass panels lining every inch of the room. The sky is a beautiful baby blue with soft and fluffy clouds drifting past, and your mind wanders to Earth as you watch.
Shiro's words unfortunately go through one ear and out the other, and it doesn't go unnoticed. But even after he promptly scolds you, you still don't pay attention. That familiar weight in your chest sinks in, and you stare down at your feet with dejection.
Homesickness is a bitch.
A hand brushes against yours, the contact bringing you back to reality. Beside you, Keith keeps his attention on Shiro as one of his fingers hooks yours. You smile softly, remembering your friend's words from a few days ago.
He kept true on his promise.
The next few hours are spent doing team bonding exercises again with Allura, Coran, or Shiro failing to direct the ragtag group of teenagers. You give them the benefit of the doubt, though, because you yourself have no idea what you are doing. The White Lion had finally started acting as if something were wrong, and you struggled to keep your control over it.
But as lunch rolls around, the White Lion is more than happy to listen to you for once as you bring it back to its hangar. You are more than happy, too. You can feel a headache coming on while you listen to Lance and Keith bicker over the comms. The former had tried kicking a ruined Galra ship like a soccer ball, ultimately knocking Voltron on its ass from the lack of balance.
Part of you is grateful you were crucial to forming Voltron. You would probably go insane.
You're already sitting in the dining room waiting for Coran's "nutritious Paladin meal" when the others enter. Lance and Keith are still arguing, and you groan as you rub your temple, hoping to dull the sharp throbbing.
"Alright, save your energy for fighting Zarkon!" Shiro barks and the two boys effectively shut up. However, as they sit down, they resort to silently glaring at each other.
With Lance sitting beside you, you kick his shin and grumble, "Stop acting like a child."
"I'm not! Keith started it!" your brother argues.
Keith rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say."
Lance irks at the comment, but you manage to slap a hand over his mouth before he says anything back. He glares at you, and you cuss as he drags his tongue over your palm.
"You are so gross!" you hiss, wiping your spit-covered hand on your brother's armor.
"Hey!" he barks.
"It's your spit!"
Shiro snaps. "What did I just say!?"
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voltronrewriteaskblog · 17 days ago
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Questions for the paladins plus Lotor, Allura and Coran what's your fondest memory from during the holiday season?
Does Altea have holidays like halloween and christmas?
Lance : honestly i think it was one year when i was like six we lost power for a few hours so to keep me and my sister Rachel entertained my brother Luis took us sledding
Keith : There's a lot honestly, Mostly it's just anytime i get to spend with those i care about, Though i still cherish the last christmas we had before shiro and matt went one the mission to kerberos
Pidge : Same to what keith said but first think i thought of after that was the time i broke a window with a snowball
Hunk : I think it's gotta be the first christmas i had after enrolling in the garrison and there was this one jerk who made everyone do training and all, All christmas eve and Christmas morning but my whole family showed one and chewed the guy out and no one defended that guy since all of people he made stay back and train and all were all kids.
Lotor : Mine is more of a recent one, My little sister had gone through the hassle and got adoption papers and....*gets teary-eyed* waited till me, Allura and the others had all sat down before she asked me to adopt her, Sorry give me a moment Allura : *pats lotor's back* Well Altea has many holidays but non that exactly match halloween or Christmas to my knowledge, For fondest memory it'd have to be the first christmas i spent with the paladins
Coran : Fondest memory hmmm, Well it'd have to be the first holiday season after Princess Allura was born, I'd never seen Alfor so happy before
Shiro : Every memory has a special place in my heart, But one i remember a lot is the Christmas before the kerberos mission keith made me a small charm with matt's help, I kept it with me the whole time i was a prisoner and i made sure i'd never lose it, But that morning as keith was falling back asleep after opening presents he....he said 'I love you dad' to me as i put him back in bed
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skye-is-rambling-as-usual · 8 months ago
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was scrolling on pinterest and found this thread and i want to add on to this thread, and add on my two cents
thread by @mustlovelance
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i personally think you are 100% correct.
Keith isn't good with words. but he has his moments where he says the right things. although people always act like Keith is a badass or an asshole (he is at times lol), he is also extremely awkward and struggles with interaction.
he means well, a lot of the time, but he just sometimes tends to say things that are either unintentionally rude in context, like how you pointed out here
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the pep-talk he gave Lance was inadequate because he didn't realize that Lance isn't as secure (in himself and his abilities) as he makes himself out to be. part of this falls on Lance too, as he should communicate that he is insecure, but while others might offer comforting words, Keith struggles with it.
transcript of the conversation between Lance and Keith in S3 Ep6 "Tailing a Comet"
Lance: Hey, man. I just wanted to talk with you because...well, because I've been worrying about something.
Keith: Must really be bothering you if you're coming to talk to me.
Lance: Well, I mean, you're the leader now, right?
Keith: I guess.
the most interesting thing to note here is that Keith tried to be light-hearted, and it made Lance seemingly more insecure. Keith is also dealing with his own insecurities in his position and that shows here too. he tries to hide it with aloofness, but you can just feel him hestating in his small confirmation to being leader.
Lance: I've been doing some math. With Shiro back, that makes six paladins, but there are only five lions. And if I'm right, that's one paladin too many.
Keith: Solid math.
Lance: Look, when Shiro takes over the Black Lion, you're going to want your Red Lion back. If I get a lion, I'd have to take Blue from Allura. But she's progressed a lot faster than any of us did. She might even be able to unlock powers we don't know of.
Keith: That's true.
Keith is being logical, and honest, but i don't blame Lance for him being upset at this. it is upsetting to hear someone agree with you when you're insecure already. that is basically what Keith did here, even if it wasn't his intention to.
Lance: So maybe the best thing I can do for the team is step aside.
Keith: What are you talking about?
Lance: This isn't a participation game. This is war. And you want your best soldiers on the front lines.
Keith: Stop worrying about who flies what and just focus on your missions. Things will work themselves out.
Keith, in this moment, is literally blind-sided by this statement from Lance. his expression shifted from neutral to shock. he was genuinely confused about the fact Lance even thought about stepping aside. even his reaction to Lance's comment "you want your best soldiers on the front lines" is logical, and therefore comes over as rude. he is telling Lance to stop worrying about wether he is good enough or not, because he thinks he shouldn't have to tell him that he is a valued member, as literally his right-hand.
Lance: Okay. Thanks.
Keith: And, Lance...leave the math to Pidge.
Lance thanks Keith but it isn't really sincere, mostly because Keith didn't really help. Lance needed validation and comfort, but instead he got logic and misplaced light-heartedness.
neither did anything wrong, but the communication didn't land. Keith didn't really realize Lance was feeling insecure and Lance went to the wrong person for this conversation lol.
feel free to share your opinions :D
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uninspireddreamsandwhims · 2 months ago
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Summer Camp Klance Drabble
Another Klance fic I wrote a little while back. I have this idea for a bigger summer camp au but I don't have the motivation to write it all right now, so I wrote out one of the scenes I'd been thinking about.
Thanks for reading! Here's the AO3 link if you'd prefer to read it there: (https://archiveofourown.org/works/58880770) ______________________________________________
The one-hour block between lunch and the next scheduled activity was a sacred time. One meant for napping, reading, or hanging out by the lakeside with friends. The camp staff occasionally used the time to prep for upcoming activities or to work on admin duties - Lance’s least favorite task. God, he wished he was doing admin work right now.
Instead, Lance found himself in the middle of a battle field, his thoughts of a peaceful afternoon floating in the lake drowned out by the insanity surrounding him.
Kids were screaming and cheering, sand was spraying as bodies were dragged back and forth. Lance’s hands burned every time the rope slid across his sweaty palms, the invisible fibers digging into his skin. The sun was brutal, and the mid-afternoon summer heat was unbearable. Lance’s already flushed and sweaty skin felt hot and tight.
Pidge was somewhere on the sidelines, huddled under an umbrella, three layers of sunscreen, and burrowed into a hoodie to prevent another summer of peeling, sunburnt skin. Lance laughed at the thought but the sound was snatched away by the shrieks of, “Pull, pull, pull!” from those around him. His ears were ringing from their voices. Lance tightened his grip and gave another tug, the muscles in his arms aching and his hands cramping. But he powered through it. He dug his feet into the sand and leaned his body backward to help with momentum.
It was no use. While Lance’s side had more people, the other side had mostly older kids, in addition to Shiro and Hunk. Lance could see the muscles bulging in Shiro’s arms, shimmering with sweat, from across the pit. Carver was somewhere behind Lance, acting as the anchor for their side, but he was half Shiro’s size and couldn’t compare to Hunk, the anchor for the other team. Allura, the other instructor on Lance’s team, was a few people ahead of him, her body almost parallel to the ground as she pulled. A few of her cabin kids huddled around her, clinging to the rope in a futile act of support.
“Let’s go beast mode!” Carver bellowed from the back. Lance felt his arms begin to give, the phrase killing any desire he had left inside of him to try and win. Around him, other campers were groaning.
“You’re so old!” Someone shouted down the line. Lance snickered. In his distraction, the rope jerked in his hands and they all went stumbling forward, sand spraying into his face as bodies tumbled, jostling one another.
“Fucking Shiro,” Lance grumbled, spitting out the grit. Some of the younger campers had the idea to try and pin the rope beneath them, hoping to use their body weight to prevent the rope from being pulled further. They quickly realized why that wouldn’t work. Lance grimaced.
“Everyone get up! If we’re down it’s easier for them!” Lance grabbed the closest camper - Henry? Harry? - and pulled him to his feet. Some of the other kids started doing the same and it helped to hold down the line. It hardly seemed worth it, the knot in the center of the rope wiggled dangerously close to the other team’s goal line, but Lance would feel awful quitting now. He didn’t like disappointing the kids. 
Across the way, Lance caught Shiro’s eyes. Shiro grinned, annoyingly smug for someone with sweaty hair and a reddened face. He gave a small wave, face full of mischief, before grasping the rope with both hands and giving another massive tug.
Lance was going to kill Shiro.
Hands gripped the rope next to Lance’s, breaking up the momentum. Someone wedged between Lance and the camper behind him, their body hot and firm as Lance was jostled backward.
“Careful,” a rough voice said near to his ear. Lance jerked, recognizing the voice in an instant. Keith was on his left, his forearms flexing with the strain of holding the rope in place. “Shiro’s showing off,” Keith muttered, voice low but still close enough for Lance to hear. Lance’s eyes lingered a moment too long on Keith’s arms. “He’s being a pain,” Lance grumbled, voice drowned out by the shouts of encouragement from the younger campers as their side took back a few inches.
“That’s Shiro for ya,” Keith deadpanned. Lance hadn’t realized how close Keith was until Keith leaned back and, raising his voice to be heard among the cheers, shouted, “On three, everyone pull! One, two, three!”
If it had been any other event, Lance would have resented being bossed around by Keith. But he was tired, sore, and dying to wipe that smug look off Shiro’s face. Lance dug his feet into the sand once more and heaved, his body straining and his breath catching in his chest as he tugged on the rope until his limbs ached. The campers were doing the same, feet planted, bodies slanted, faces contorted in concentration as they pulled. And pulled. And pulled.
Keith was panting in Lance’s ear, quick hot bursts of air fanning his face, as he grunted, straining with all his might to tug the rope back as far as possible. Lance felt light-headed and fuzzy. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the exhaustion, but his pulse was racing and his head was beginning to swirl.
Mere seconds before his grip gave out, the line slacked. There was a brief moment where he felt weightless, the tension in his body holding him still. And then, all at once, they tumbled back like dominoes. Lance crashed into the sand, clenching his eyes against the spray and biting his lips shut to keep it out of his mouth. Someone landed on top of him, the weight making him groan. Whoever it was had Lance completely pinned.
Lance lay there, eyes still shut, body shaking as the adrenaline flooded out of him. His palms were throbbing but weirdly enough, he felt giddy. His chest trembled as he fought to contain his laughter. The weight on top of him lifted and the sun blazed against his shuttered eyes.
“You good?” A voice asked. Lance cracked his eyes open, squinting up at the figure above him. Keith was above Lance, his hair haloed by the gleam of the sun’s rays, their faces a few inches apart. It almost looked like a coronet. The laughter did finally bubble out of Lance, a small giggle at first before it built into something deeper. “Why are you laughing?” Keith asked, his voice lightening as he fought off the smile threatening his lips.
“Because,” Lance gasped. “Shiro was so…cocky about it. He was so smug,” Lance wheezed out another laugh. “I wish I could have seen his face when you joined our side.” Keith did smile then, a soft chuckle slipping out as he did so.
“Damn, I forgot to look.” Lance gazed up at him, taking in the way the sweat on his forehead made his hair stick to his face, his usually pale skin slightly tanned and a bright red. He wouldn’t be surprised if Keith got a sunburn after this. Lance’s eyes met Keith’s and for a moment he simply stared, absorbed in the deep grey of his eyes.
Feet pounded against the ground. In seconds, Keith was hauled up by his brother, Shiro, and enveloped in a headlock. His shirt was dark with sweat and stuck to his skin as he pressed Keith’s face against his body, a grin split across his face.  Keith let out a muffled yelp.
“Ugh, Shiro! What did you do, dunk yourself in the lake? Let me go!” Keith pushed against his brother’s chest, struggling to free himself from the brick wall of a man.
“What sort of blackmail did Pidge have on you that got you to join?” Shiro was saying to Keith, giving him a hearty shake that lifted Keith off the ground. Keith thrashed violently in his brother’s grip, but Shiro looked wholly unbothered by Keith’s efforts. Lance watched on with amusement, definitely not using the time to appreciate the full view of Keith’s ass clad in his denim cutoffs.
Feeling someone’s eyes on him, Lance glanced up to see Shiro shoot him a knowing wink that made Lance’s cheeks burn.
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autisticlancemcclain · 1 year ago
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part one
———
Lance has no idea how powerful he truly is.
Seriously. Completely oblivious. He’s convinced that he’s the only one on the team who’s not powerful — and Keith knows this because those are the words Lance said with his own mouth. He’s so convinced that power is Shiro’s strength, Pidge’s intelligence, Hunk’s wit and compassion, Allura’s regality, and Coran’s wisdom. He’s even completely sure that Keith has power in his speed and initiative.
Somehow, though, the heart of Voltron does not know how he holds everyone in the palm of his hand. He does not see the picture of terror he makes; jaw clenched, brown eyes flashing with determination, back straight and shoulders set, demonic spider at his side, telepathic mice gathered on his head, poisonous, sentient vine wrapped around him — and the spirts of two lions, red and blue, growling in tandem behind him as he swears that no harm will come to the beast by Voltron’s hand.
Lance did not see the fear in the dignitary’s face. He did not notice his team staring at him with wide eyes, leaning far away from him and his own army. He did not see the pure, concentrated power rippling from him in waves.
If Keith’s being totally, completely honest, it’s kind of hot.
But it’s also a pain in the ass. As much as Lance’s greatest strength is in convincing people to listen to him, when he sets stubborn eyes on a task, the Universe herself cannot sway him. Keith has a snowball’s chance in hell of managing either.
“Just try,” Shiro pleads. “Please. Attempt to convince him that, as much as it sucks, killing the damn beast is the easiest way to secure this alliance and move on.”
“Shiro, your braincells are spilling out your ears like loose marbles if you think that I can convince him to even listen to the words I will attempt to say.”
“Holy idiom, there, cowboy,” Pidge teases, and Keith breaks away from the intense stare-down with his brother to stick his tongue out and shoot her the finger.
“That’s a normal idiom. Sorry that you grew up in Michigan where the most interesting insult you ever hear is someone saying please with a little more passive aggression than usual.”
“…Alright. Point to Keith.”
“Mhm. That’s what I thought.”
“Paladins!” Allura snaps, ignoring Hunk’s smartass comment that she is also, actually, a paladin, and as such is included in such snappish remarks and thus has lost a good chunk of ethos. “Focus! Stars, it’s like I have to do everything around here. Keith. Put your big boy pants on.”
Shiro chokes with laughter, desperately trying to pretend it’s really a cough, but it fools no one.
God, those two need to stop hanging out together. Shiro is dragging Allura down to his level. Poor woman.
“Talk to Lance,” she continues. “He only really listens to you.”
Keith looks at her incredulously. “Listens to me — have I missed something? I asked Lance to lead a briefing yesterday and he asked me what deity died and made me king of the jungle. He doesn’t listen to a goddamn word I say.”
Allura raises an eyebrow. “Did he?”
“Did he what?”
“Lead the briefing yesterday?”
Keith deflates. Because, well. “Yeah,” he mutters.
“So you’re just being a pussy, then,” she summarizes – why does Pidge insist on teaching her modern slang and why does she like it so much – and this time Shiro doesn’t even pretend he’s coughing. Hunk and Pidge also lose their shit.
“I resent that,” Keith says haughtily, denying nothing.
“Yeah. Okay. Off you go. Convince him to at least attempt to hear us out.”
Keith sighs, but does as asked, making his way to his and Lance’s rooms. He decides to take a minute and gather his thoughts — see, he’s learning, look at how not-impulsive he’s being — and heads to his room first.
When he gets there, he spends a few meditating beside his bed — he’d rather stick a hot iron through his eye than admit it, but Shiro and Black may be a little, teensy, itty-bitty bit correct about taking time to gather up thoughts and reflect or whatever.
Just as he’s about to get up and knock on Lance’s door, he hears Coran’s heeled boots click down the hallway.
Oh, fuck yes. If Coran talks to Lance, he might actually listen without argument! Lance has no issue following Coran’s instructions!
…On the other hand, Coran’s just as much of a — and Keith says this with all the fondness in his heart, believe him, if he didn’t find it so damn endearing he would not be spending his nights imagining what will happen when he finally grows enough of a pair to ask Lance on a date — tree-hugger as Lance is. He won’t be happy about the beast killing either.
But, hey. Coran’s a wise guy. It’s probably fine.
Just in case, though, he gets up as quietly as he can — he knows Lance’s goddamn bat ears will hear him if his fucking heart beats too loudly — and leans against the door to hear their conversation.
“Lance, dear, I was just coming to find you,” Coran says.
So far, so good. If Coran was already trying to find Lance, it was probably to try and gently convince him that saving the beast might not be the best option, right?
Keith heart sinks a little as a new thought worms into his brain: maybe, Lance isn’t just being stubborn, and he’s actually upset. Maybe Coran is going to make sure Lance is feeling okay, like a good person.
…Yeah. That’s more likely. Keith kind of feels like a jackass.
He startles out of his thoughts as Coran’s voice, notably louder than before, speaks again.
“Well, if you’re really feeling so much better, would you mind helping me recalibrate the fabricator?”
“Absolutely,” Lance says, and he does sound remarkably happier than he did when he stomped out of the bridge.
Huh. Maybe Lance convinced himself…?
As he thinks it, he knows it’s not true. But it might not be best to bring it up now, then. He’s only just gotten into a good mood, it will probably be better to bring it up over dinner, or something, when the good mood has enough time to settle properly.
Keith nods to himself. Yeah. That’s totally not an excuse because he doesn’t want Lance to look at him in complete betrayal again when Keith attempts to convince him that saving the beast is not an option, or anything.
Right.
Totally.
———
part three
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localfanbaselurker · 4 months ago
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Watching Voltron: Legendary Defender for the first time and recording my thoughts
S1-2 | S3 | S4 | you are here! | S6 | S7 | S8 |
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This one is not as long because I literally finished it like two days ago as I write this so the thoughts are still simmering down but I need to remember them before I watch s6
Pre-S5 thoughts
-> I hope we get Keith back, his near sacrifice really scared me at the end of S4. I want my son back.
-> pLEASE let that poor girl get her father back. Oh my lord. Give him back. Pls. I can’t wait anymore. Will the real Sam Holt please stand up? Please stand up?
-> FRICK Lotor I know they’re probably gonna give him some backstory or whatever on him being a good guy but I DOOOOONNNNNNT CAAAAARRRREEEEEEEEE. I do NOT like him and they can never make me. he is EVIL and you cannot tell me otherwise.
->^“but laura-” idc. I don’t trust him. His voice is too American-Psyco-y. He is a little scheming cunty little elf. He’s onto something. He wants something out of this.
->^I will miss his team of lesbians tho. They ate.
->There seems to be a lot of hints towards allurance! I hope they get a good arc. They are very sweet!
-> I hope we see more of Matt! It’s like that one quote from Brooklyn 99. “I’ve only had [Matt] for [an episode and a half] but if anything were to happen to him, I’d kill everyone in this room, and then myself”
—~—~—~—~—~—///////|||||\\\\\\\—~—~—~—~—~—
Post-S5 Thoughts
-> my suspicions of Shiro grew bigger and bigger as this season progressed. I think I have it figured out by now. 🔍🧐☕️
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->^Lotor low key ate her up with this
->^i think that’s her main arc: she needs to let go of the thought that all galra are evil (which she has fair reason to do so), as it is a war, and things aren’t all black and white. As much as I hate to admit it, I feel like having Lotor around this season will help her character development.
->^I wrote that at the beginning of s5, I was right, it did help a little (though then they brought up the fact that Lotor was half altean so maybe she just thinks he’s good because of that—let’s hope not)
->They did not, in fact, bring Keith back. Very upsetting.
->WE GOT SAM HOLT BACK!! THE HOLTS ARE BACK!!! THEY HAVE FOUND THEIR FATHER!!!!
->^That was an emotional episode for me. I cried when they didn’t find him in the “prison” thing and I cried again when Pidge ran into the hologram thing. They make me feel so weak. I was so happy when they got him back fr.
-> And then I cried again at the end of episode 3 cus he was like “I decided im leaving, good luck out there, kids”. Bawling.
->Speaking of episode 3… 🔍🧐
->^and episode 4…and episode 6… 🧐🧐🧐🧐
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->^🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐
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->^me rn vs. you guys probably.
->^He’s 1) been listening to everything Lotor says, ignoring the team and going behind their back/without consulting them. And 2) Being uncharacteristically hostile to everyone. I swear I felt like I was reading a really OOC fanfic nearly the whole season.
->^Yes, Shiro is leader-y, but he also (s1-2) tended to listen to his team and have unserious moments. I feel like he’s lost all of that. And I think that last picture is all I need to know.
->(moving on)There seems to be a big focus on Lance this season (yay!) I really hope it’s not for the usual reasons characters get extra screen time (because I would die). I feel like they have been leading him to be the black paladin with how leader-y he has been this season but even if that’s not the case I do still feel they are going to do something really important with him for the next season and I am so excited to see what they are going to do with him! 😊
-> if Keith doesn’t leave the Backyard of Malnutrition next season im going to make myself go inside the show and personally take him out
->/j/j/j…or is it? ☕️🧐 (someone needs to take this emoji away from me it’s made me too powerful)
->WE GOT KEITHS MOM!!!!
->^I was so shocked I literally slammed my computer shut (not that hard, im not a psycho dw)
->^HE GOT HIS MOM BACK!!! I cried after that episode because can you imagine? He just got her back and he thought she was dead/abandoned him for like his entire life. And now he has her back and oh my god I need to open ao3 where are those “first time calling <someone> mom/dad” one shots.
->^AND KROLIA. SHE JUST GOT HER BABY BACK!! Stop im fr crying as i type this. guys. Fuck. I genuinely can’t handle family-related stuff in shows like I will cry so hard. It doesn’t even have to happen on screen my brain just makes the scenarios for me and I obey and bawl my eyes out.
->They are trying to make me like Lotor and Allura together…it is almost working. Almost. I still don’t trust him. And I like allurance better.
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->^i just KNOW she was internally kicking her feet and giggling at this. “Then you’re…🤔😯 Half altean 🤭🤭😍😍😍”
->^speaking of that ep, I was sooooo happy for Allura because she finally found a way to still be connected with her dad/culture after having to lose him in s1 and not being able to pilot red in s3, absolutely overjoyed for my best girl!! 🤍🩷🤍
->I absolutely LOVED episode five’s subplots. We have: A-plot) Keith+ his mom going on a mission together, B) Lotor +Allura finding altean stuff in Haggar’s lair, and C) my personal favorite, The garrison trio getting up to shenanigans with a galra robot thing.
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->^Later Pala-dudes is my hero, too, lance
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->^^Look at those dorks. I love them so much.
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->^See this is proof that Lotor is actually Evil™️ and Not Good™️ because he immediately went to violence and trying to fight to greedily get what he wanted while Allura saw the right path and allowed the secrets to be shared with her willingly in this essay I will-
->When is Lotor gonna find out his mom is haggar?? Hopefully s6 cus I can’t take this anymore. the evidence is RIGHT THERE, bucko. Figure it out already.
->If they want me to like Lotor they better work extra hard next season. I’m beginning, BEGINNING, to actually, kinda-sorta-maybe actually like him. BEGINNING! And it is a rough start at that. But im defrosting my built-up dislike for him. It’s a burn slower than 300k words but it’s getting there. They’re gonna hold hands any chapter now.
These are thoughts I’ve been compiling for a while. I will continue to post my thoughts on the tag “laura’s first vld”
I finished Season 5 on 07/13/24. I have not yet started season 6. Stay tuned!
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shsy7573 · 1 year ago
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Something
A Voltron Fanfiction by shsy7573 a langst addict
Description: As torturous as a war with the Galra is, it’s nothing compared to the constant mockery from inside Lance’s mind. When the team partakes in a training exercise designed to help them confront their insecurities, and grow closer as a team, Lance knows he’s screwed. No way they’ll want him around once they see how pathetic he really is. Will our favourite Blue Paladin be able to hide his misery, from the team, or will he break, and reveal to the team just how much he hates himself?
Info: Langst. Hurt/comfort. Original Paladins. Tbh this is probably one of my weaker fics. It’s not really descriptive. Mainly just focused on the feelings. Nonetheless, I’ve always enjoyed rereading it because of the concept.
Relationships: Klance, but it’s mild. Barely there.
Note: Tumblr kinda jacked up the formatting. I seriously need to get myself an AO3 account, but writing for that site intimidates me for whatever reason.
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Lance scanned the battlefield, his heart pumping rapidly as the supposedly easygoing mission went off the rails. They had planned to take over a small, low activity Galra base to try and find more information on what Zarkon and his people were planning. Unfortunately, this “low activity” base ended up being extremely more well defended than they’d thought.
There were Galra ships everywhere, spread out across the sky like a giant beehive. The Paladins were swamped, and the Castle of Lions had been forced to draw back for risk of colossal damage. With all the chaos, there was no opportunity to converge and form Voltron. Each Paladin was, for the most part, on their own.
And Lance was drowning.
He veered swiftly to the left as a Galra ship charged him from behind. Kieth flew by at the exact same time, and if it had been anyone other than The Red Paladin, there would have been a collision. Kieth banked up, and Lance just had time to shoot a laser at the ship tailing him before he and his lion ran face first into the debris.
“Watch it, Lance!” Kieth spat, and Lance cringed.
“Sorry!” He yelled.
There wasn’t enough time to dwell on it though, because the ship that had been on Lance had recovered from the Blue Paladin’s change in course, and was shooting at him again.
Lance groaned, trying to dodge around the lasers, taking one or two hits to the back. He yelled, his heart jumping as another squadron of battleships came at him from the front. Reacting fast, he sent Blue into a barrel roll, hoping the Galra ships would collide.
Fortunately, they did. Unfortunately, so did he and Pidge. The Green Lion, who apparently had been chasing the Galra ships, met the Blue Lion head on, both going at full speed and sending the Paladins into a tailspin.
“Lance, what the hell?!” Pidge yelled as they both regained control.
Lance chastised himself inwardly.
“Sorry Pidge!”
His mind was screaming at him. Way to go, fuck up!
“Lance! Look out!”
He looked up to see a Galra ship as it powered up a blaster. With how close it was, he should have already seen it.
Shiro flew by in the Black Lion, slicing through the ship with his jaw blade and putting it out of commission.
“Lance! You need to pay attention!”
“Sorry!” He said for probably the 10th time since the start of the battle.
What is wrong with you? Get your head in the game! You can’t even-
His thoughts were interrupted as he was once again forced to bank out of the way of a Galra ship. Sadly, he was too slow to react, and as he swerved upwards a beam of purple light collided with Blue’s underbelly. Lance screamed as he was jostled around in his seat, trying to regain control as another beam hit him on his left.
So now you can’t even fly? What are you doing?! I thought Paladins were supposed to be expert pilots!
“Lance!” Someone yelled as he tried and failed to gain control of Blue. More and more Galra ships getting hits in on his Lion.
Useless piece of shit! They all know it!
“Lance, control yourself!”
“Someone needs to help him!”
“There’s too many of them!”
“Fall back!”
Before he knew it, Hunk and his lion had grabbed hold of Blue and were pulling Lance out of the battlefield. The others joined up with them, and Lance felt tears welling up in his eyes.
As the Galra fleet fell away from view, Lance was able to retake control of his lion. Hunk let go, and they made their way back to the castle. Mission failed.
“Lance, what was going on out there?” Kieth asked, ever the hothead. Lance didn’t reply, only lifting his gloved hand to whisk away his tears. His mind was screaming at him.
You can’t fly for shit, that’s what! You think they’re gonna want you around after that debacle? I’m surprised it took you this long royally fuck. They’re gonna see it now! You’re not fit to be a Paladin!
They arrived back at the Castle of Lions, and for a couple minutes all Lance could do was pull off his helmet and just… sit there. Unable to bear the looks of utter disappointment on his teammates' faces. Unable to face the resentment.
Then he heard Shiro’s voice over the coms.
“Post-mission briefing on the bridge.”
Lance sighed, and finally forced himself out of Blue’s seat. He dragged himself to the control room, trying to stay as far back and out of sight as possible.
Shiro began speaking, but Lance could hardly hear him over the scrutiny going on in his own brain.
You don’t belong here! You know it. They know it. They’d be better off without you.
“Guys, this can’t happen again. We cannot lose our heads in a time of crisis. If we’re going to win against the Galra, we need to work harder. Not just individually, but as a team. We were completely divided out there, and we kept getting in each other’s way.”
Lance looked down, mainly me. He was certain that’s what everyone was thinking. He bit his lip, trying his damndest not to cry.
“We’ve been focusing on training our bodies, but I think we’ve been neglecting to focus on the most important part of Voltron: our minds. Our connection to ourselves, our lions and to each other is what powers Voltron, farther than any of our individual skills.”
Like anyone would want to connect with you. You’re the problem, you always have been. They’ll turn on you one day, and you’ll deserve it. Maybe you should just speed up the process. Get out of their lives before they come to hate you on their own. But you won’t, you’re too weak. Too cowardly to face the reality of that decision. Too selfish to give up your friendships for the universe.
“Lance!” A voice cut through the noise. Lance looked up to see Shiro staring at him.
“Are you even listening?”
They hate you.
“I, uh- yeah.” He could feel his skin crawling at all the eyes on him.
“Then what did I say?”
“Voltron is powered by our minds, or something.” It was the last thing he remembered.
The irritated muttering around the room caused him to assume he’d guessed wrong.
“Lance, I need you to be paying attention when I’m talking.”
Lance sighed, looking back down at his feet, “sorry.”
Had he been looking up, he’d have seen the slight edge of concern in The Black Paladin’s gaze before he continued. “Anyways… what I was saying is that tomorrow afternoon we’ll meet on the training deck to go through some mental team building exercises. I’m sure Coran has a few ideas.”
Lance nodded, but kept his gaze trained on the ground.
You’ll probably fuck it up, like you do everything.
“That I do. Don’t you worry Shiro, I’ll get it sorted.”
Lance looked up just enough to see Shiro nod. “In that case, you’re all dismissed.”
Lance turned, and headed out of the control room. His mind swimming with self ridicule. He could feel the tears threatening to fill his eyes. The days’ failures replaying over and over again in his mind.
Idiot. Useless. Screw up everything.
Suddenly, he felt a hand grab him by the arm, pulling him back slightly and forcing him to stop.
“Lance, wait.”
The Blue Paladin looked up to see Shiro gazing at him curiously.
“Is… everything alright?”
No. Lance forced a grin, “of course! Why wouldn't it be?”
“I just… you seem… distracted.”
Lance shook his head, forcing his smile to become even brighter. “I’m fine. I promise. See you in training tomorrow!”
He pulled his arm free, and began to walk (a little too quickly) to his room.
As soon as the door closed, he collapsed on the ground. Tears spilled out of his eyes. What was he doing here? He was no Paladin? He had no place here. Nobody here wanted him around, he was just their only option. If they had anyone else to fly Blue, they’d take them in an instant. Anyone would be better than you!
“Fucking useless,” he whimpered to himself, burying his head in his knees.
“All I do is mess things up.”
“I’m an idiot.”
“No one wants me around.”
“I’m…”
He trailed off, his throat closing up as he voiced his darkest thoughts to the empty room. Sobs racked his body. He sat there, back pressed against the door, letting tears spill down his face. Crying at the truth of it all. That he was the problem, he was the weak link. All he brought to the team was bad jokes and annoyance.
He had no special skills.
No special purpose.
He was nothing special.
He was just nothing.
The next day, Lance woke up as he usually did. Early. With a skip in his step, a smile on his face, and a silent prayer that today wouldn’t be the day that the mask slipped. That today wouldn’t be the day they saw how useless he really was.
He went to breakfast with the team. Pidge was still a little irritated at him for running into her. Kieth was broody, as usual. Hunk and Coran were happy. Shiro and Allura were focused.
Lance, as usual, was cracking jokes to try and lighten the mood. To try and drown out the voice in his head. To try and fein cheerfulness.
And the others, as usual, we’re not having any of it.
“Lance, can you shut up for five minutes so that we can eat in peace?!” Pidge snapped. “I swear it’s like you’re trying to piss me off.”
Lance smiled brighter on the outside, but on the inside, his mind screamed.
“Aw, did the Pigeon wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” He teased, and she grumbled, turning away.
He saw Keith roll his eyes, and heard him muttering under his breath.
You can’t let up can you? If you’re not royally screwing up a mission, you’re annoying the shit out of everyone.
But he would rather annoy them into not paying attention than allow them to see how worthless he was.
Selfish? Probably. But, he couldn’t help it.
Besides, if Pidge was angry he’d rather she take it out on him than the rest of the team. Unlike the rest of them, he deserved it.
And then the afternoon rolled around. Lance headed for the training deck, something akin to apprehension churning in his gut.
Come on Lance, afraid of a training session? A Paladin should be better than that.
He steeled himself, and entered the training deck.
Everyone else was already there. Lance couldn’t help chastising himself for that. Even though he wasn’t late, he was last. He’d kept them waiting.
“Has Coran said what we’re doing yet?” He asked, banishing the thoughts aside. If today was meant to train his mind, to connect them, he had to keep his negativity as far away as possible.
They all shook their heads as he reached the group.
“No, I haven’t even seen him since this morning,” Pidge said. Lance was glad to see that she seemed less aggressive now. Maybe a bit of time to wake up had calmed her temper at his previous fuck-upery.
Not that she’d be wrong to still be pissed.
Lance smiled wider.
Just then, Coran entered the room, holding a mass of technology in his arms.
“I’m here! I’m here! Sorry, I’d hoped to have this all set up before you arrived but—“
“It’s okay, Coran. We’re not in a rush.” Shiro assured.
Hunk smiled and walked over, “need some help?”
Pidge joined her friend as Coran nodded and they began setting up, the Altean telling Pidge and Hunk how to hook everything up.
Why didn’t you offer to help? Useless.
But then his own mind fired back.
You’re too stupid to help with something like this. It’s too complicated.
Lance resisted the urge to wince, refusing to let his expressions betray his inner rebuke. So far he wasn’t doing a very great job at keeping negativity out of training.
Then again, you never could do anything right.
He was grateful as Hunk, Pidge and Coran finished setting up. It meant he’d have something else to focus on.
His dreams of distraction were crushed as Coran began to explain the exercise.
“Today's exercise will be all about overcoming your mental barriers. In combat, you need to be completely open with each other, and having blockades and hidden insecurities can distract you from working as a cohesive whole. Today, the team will be given the chance to travel into each Paladin’s mindscape. Not actually, of course, mind travel is very dangerous and can more often than not lead to disastrous consequences. That’s where all this technology comes in. This will simulate a sort of virtual landscape for you all to traverse through. It should still be accurate, but it will prevent any serious harm coming to any of you.”
Lance’s stomach somersaulted. Travelling… into his mind… to face his insecurities?!
No way they’ll want you around after this.
Lance took a deep breath. Maybe he could worm his way out of it. Maybe he could delay, and they would run out of time and not get to him. Maybe he could fake illness closer to his turn. The healing pods didn’t cure sickness so he’d just be sent back to his room to rest.
They were feeble wishes, but a boy can dream.
Unfortunately for Lance, they did have time for him. All day, dread had been clawing at his chest, and he’d taken every possible opportunity to have someone else go first.
But… he couldn’t put it off any longer. He had really considered faking a migraine or some shit, but if any of them found out they’d think he was being lazy. Or worse, they’d question why he wanted out so close to his turn anyways.
They’d been through Shiro’s mindscape. Forcing him to confront his fears and regrets about his time with the Galra, and helping him accept that it was all just survival. The Galran prisoner he used to be was running purely off instinct, and the Shiro they knew would never be so callous. They also helped him wrestle with the guilt and pain of leaving Adam behind.
They’d been through Pidge’s mindscape. Helping to quell her fears about not being able to find her parents. They’d sworn they would help her, and do whatever it took to get Matt and her father back.
They’d been through Hunk’s mindscape. Helping him through all the anxieties and fears that had taken hold of him over his years at the Garrison, and now in space. They’d consoled him by telling him that he was brave. That it was okay to be scared. And that he would never be alone.
They’d gone through Keith’s mindscape. Begrudgingly, he’d admitted to his feelings of lostness. How he wanted to feel a sense of self, and get to know who he was and where he came from. They’d told him they would help in whatever way they could, but that at the end of the day ‘who he was’ depended solely on him. Not who his parents were. They’d even gone as far as to say Voltron could be his family if he let it.
And now… now Lance had to go.
And he was terrified.
Coward! Afraid of what they might find? Afraid they’ll see how worthless their Blue Paladin really is?!
He felt a hand on his shoulder and he stared at the mindscape device in his hands. He looked up at Shiro, who smiled down at him.
“We’re right here with you.” He assured.
Lance smiled.
But for how long?
He pushed the voice away, pushed everything away. All his thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Then, he put on the device, and closed his eyes. The world around him melted away, and when he reopened his eyes, he found himself standing on a beach. The ground beneath him which he knew technically shouldn’t, felt soft. Having been through several mindscapes by now, he was used to the strange faux sensations they caused. Making it seem like you were actually there.
He looked around as the other Paladins faded in, and took in their surroundings.
Finally, it was Pidge who asked, “where are we?”
Lance smiled as he spotted a house on the hill, not far from the beachfront.
���My home.”
They made their way up the hill, Lance making absolutely certain that everything they saw was what he wanted them to see. Keeping the nasty voice that haunted his conscious locked behind the walls of this fabricated world.
Okay, fabricated wasn’t exactly the best word. This was all still very real. It was just something he was more comfortable showing the team. Something understandable. Something sweet. Something wholesome.
Something better to the alternative. Something easier.
They reached the house, and Lance grinned as he saw his little niblings playing in the front yard. Rolling around the grass, wrestling over a yellow toy truck.
They didn’t see him though, nor did they see the other Paladins. At the end of the day, they were just spectators to a virtual reality. They weren’t actually in Lance’s mind, and thus, couldn’t interact.
“Aww, they’re so cute! Who are they?” Pidge said, cooing as they drew nearer.
“Those are my niece and nephew.” He said, smiling fondly. He’d missed them so much. He’d missed them all so much.
Almost as if his mind was reflecting this, the house seemed to pull away, just slightly. Not quite letting the Paladins reach it.
Lance frowned.
“Woah… what was that?” Hunk asked, looking at Lance.
“I’m… not sure,” he admitted.
He could feel the fringes of his paradise shudder as an insult tried to break through. He didn’t let it. He couldn’t. Not with the Paladins watching.
But he could see their unease as the trembling surrounding the area scape passed.
Fortunately, his mother emerged from the house before they had time to question it.
She began spewing how she missed him, and he felt tears prick his eyes.
Each time they got close to the house it shifted away again. Pretty soon they caught on.
Homesickness. Homesickness was the barrier he was choosing to show the Paladins. The guilt for leaving his family behind. It was one he found much easier to bear. One he felt they would understand and accept.
And they did.
They comforted him, and told him it was okay to miss home.
And he thought, just for a moment he thought he’d done it.
He’d really done something right. He hadn’t fucked it up.
“Is this why you were so distracted yesterday? In the battle? You were missing your family?” Shiro asked.
Lance nodded.
And then the voice came rushing in, faster than he could stop it.
A venomous, icy echo twisted around them, filling up the atmosphere.
Liar!
He forced it back, but it was too late. The Paladins were looking around, frightened and confused.
“What was that?” Pidge exclaimed.
Shit.
“I- I don’t know…” he said, his voice dejected. But he found lying much harder in the midst of his panic.
“Lance. What aren’t you telling us?” Keith demanded.
Then it happened. A sharp sound drew Lance’s eyes to the ground, where a crack was beginning to spread beneath his feet.
“What the hell’s happening?!”
“Lance! What’s going on?!”
He couldn’t think. He couldn’t speak. He was frozen. Fear was creeping through his veins, sending a wind rushing through the mindscape.
A Paladin. Afraid of his own brain.
Pathetic!
More cracks. He closed his eyes, and tried to shove the voice away.
There was still time, still an opportunity to hide this, to get past this. He could do this.
“Lance!”
He looked up. Everyone looked scared. He was making them scared. And this was just the surface. No way he could let them see the full force of it!
Nobody would want you around then.
The voice crackled in the wind around them, sharp as a knife, but also sweet as honey. A perfect tone of intoxicating mockery. One that had haunted him for years.
Shards were beginning to fall away, revealing a world of empty blackness, and Lance was panicking.
How disappointing. Paladins aren’t supposed to panic.
“Lance, Lance it’s okay! Just breath buddy. Tell us what’s happening. We can help you!” Shiro assured.
They’ll hate you.
“We won’t!” Hunk tried to reassure, reaching out a hand.
And then the world fell away. The cracks gave way and Lance was falling. Falling. Falling. Falling. Away from the hill. Away from Cuba. Away from his little paradise.
And down
Down
Down
Into the bitter darkness.
Into the truth.
Into the nothing.
Lance inhaled sharply, his breath echoing all around him. All he could see was darkness. Darkness above, darkness below and darkness all around. Yet somehow, he was standing on solid ground. He tapped his feet curiously, a faint ringing echoing at the back of his mind. Like when you listen to the silence for too long.
Then he turned around, and found the other Paladins facing him.
His heart lurched. They were here… with him. Dios what has he done?!
“Lance… what- what is this?” Hunk asked, looking at his friend in deep confusion. Concern etched his expression.
“I- I don’t know…”
You never know! Came the voice. Harsher and clearer than it had on the beach house. Pounding in his head and vibrating in his skull.
He turned to see the faint outline of a person against the darkness. Inches from his face. It shoved him with a hiss, that’s the problem!
“Lance!” Keith started forward, sword in hand, but a voice interrupted him.
Are you gonna let him fight your battles?!
Another grey figure appeared in front of Keith, blocking Lance’s view of the Red Paladin.
I thought Paladins were supposed to be strong?!
Another figure appeared to the right of Lance.
But you were never much of a Paladin to begin with, were you?
Lance backed away. He closed his eyes and shook his head, begging it to stop.
Why? Why should we stop? Can’t handle the truth?
“Lance! Lance, it's okay! Look at me!” That was Shiro’s voice. It sounded so far away. Lance looked up to see the other Paladins, slowly disappearing behind a mob of grey.
They pity you.
You think any of them actually want you around.
Something latched onto his arm, digging its claws into his flesh.
After all you’ve done? After everything you’ve messed up?
Images of the earlier fight flickered all around them. Then it was all the fights before. All the times he’d done something wrong.
You’re a screw up, Lance! You don’t deserve to be a Paladin.
Lance was being dragged down. Dragged down by thousands of latching hands. Swarming and smothering him. Suffocating him in his own greatest faults. His biggest insecurities.
And he was faintly aware of the other Paladins screaming for him.
They were seeing all of this.
He hadn’t wanted them to.
Did you really think you could keep this from them? That they wouldn’t find out how weak you are?
How useless you are?
You’re stupider than I thought.
And that’s saying something.
Tears pricked his eyes as more claws dug into his flesh, ripping and tearing as he tried to fight them off.
Nobody wants you around!
I’d say go back home, but I doubt they’d want you either!
More hostile, hungry claws stretched from the crowd, latching onto his skin and screaming in his ears. Lance cried as the claws dug into his skin, but his voice was drowned out by the icy, honeysuckle tone of the never ending voice.
Pathetic
Weak
Selfish asshole
Can’t even deny it.
Lance curled in on himself, tears flowing down his cheeks and sobs racking his body. Surely they would all hate him now, after seeing all this. After seeing what a mess he really was.
Can’t even fight back?
You were never meant to be a Paladin!
You don’t belong here!
You’re just a cargo pilot!
Nothing to offer!
You’re not special!
Pain raked his body as he felt himself being torn apart. In the back of his mind he wondered how they were touching him. Coran said they wouldn’t be able to. But of course, Lance always did seem to do the impossible when it came to screwing up.
They would be better off without you and you know it!
There’s so many better options to pilot the Blue Lion.
Shame they had to settle for you.
He tried not to listen. Tried so hard.
You’re hopeless!
But they were right, weren’t they?
Stupid!
Deadweight!
And in that moment, Lance found himself lost. Succumbing to the sea of his own insecurities. They’d come on this mission to connect as a unit
But…
He had never felt more alone in his entire life.
It was just him, and the voice echoing over and over in his mind.
You’re nothing
Lance jolted upright, phantom claws still tearing at his skin as he looked around frantically.
He was back on the training deck. Sitting on the floor. He was fairly certain he hadn’t been on the floor when they’d gone in.
He was breathing heavily, his body shaking as tears ran freely down his cheeks. The only positive right now was that whatever wounds the figures seemed to have inflicted were gone… if they had ever really existed in the first place.
“Lance…” came an empty, uncertain voice. The Blue Paladin looked up to see the other Paladins standing a foot or so away, watching him completely break down after…
After…
Dios! They were gonna hate him. More than they did already!
“I’m sorry,” he whimpered.
If it was possible, he began quivering harder.
At that moment, nobody seemed to know what to do. They were all frozen in some sort of silent shock, mortified by what they’d just witnessed.
And then… to everyone’s surprise… Keith began walking towards Lance.
The Blue Paladin began scrambling away, trying to pull himself to his feet and failing as he stumbled backwards. He raised a feeble hand to try and hide his crying eyes.
Kieth grabbed his arm, catching him as he fell. He tried to pull away, letting out a frantic whimpering sound. But Keith held his grip and pulled Lance towards him.
And then they were hugging. Lance felt slender, firm arms wrapped around his back. He fought against them for a few seconds, but the Red Paladin didn’t let up.
So, Lance folded. Keith dropped to his knees as the boy buried his head in the Red Paladin’s shoulder, clutching the back of his shirt with trembling hands. Sobs raked his body, and Keith only seemed to hold him tighter.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Lance murmured through his sobbing. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. What would they think of him now?
Another pair of arms joined them, and Lance heard Hunk whisper in his ear, “It’s okay, buddy.”
Then something small weaselled its way between the hands already around Lance, and he heard Pidge murmur, “we’re right here.”
A hand fell on his shoulder, and Shiro spoke in a calm, affirming voice: “we’re not going anywhere buddy.”
And Lance cried harder. He was sure he was squeezing Keith too hard. He was sure he was making a fool of himself. He was sure they all just pitied him.
“I’m sorry.” He sobbed again wetly. Voice thick with misery. The embrace became more secure, and Lance was acutely aware of Shiro joining it fully.
Then, someone moved their hand into Lance’s hair. Working it between their fingers, and combing it gently. “Don’t—“ Keith rasped. If Lance wasn’t sure they all hated him now, if he wasn’t sure this was just pity, he’d say he heard a quiver in his voice, “don’t apologise.”
And they sat there, Lance sobbing into Keith’s shoulder as the team embraced him from every angle, smothering them in their warmth. This smothering, it wasn’t like what the figures had done. It wasn’t suffocating. In fact, with each passing second it seemed to breathe more life into Lance.
And even though he knew it wouldn’t last, even though he knew his time with the team was at its end…
He didn’t feel so alone anymore.
Keith was shell shocked. He couldn’t comprehend it. Lance was supposed to be the happy one. The one who cracked jokes, and… and kept everyone optimistic, and annoyed everyone with his dumb, extremely endearing pick-up lines.
He wasn’t supposed be sad. He wasn’t supposed to be the one falling apart. He wasn’t supposed to believe so little of himself that his own mind turned on him the second it got the chance.
Yet here they were. Lance in Keith’s arms as he carried the Blue Paladin to his room after he’d cried so hard he’d passed out from exhaustion.
It wasn’t right, seeing Lance so broken.
How long has he felt like this? How long had he been hiding it? How long had he been pretending?
Keith wasn’t sure he really wanted to know. Because if his instincts were correct (and they usually were): he never hadn’t been.
The Red Paladin approached Lance’s bed. He propped the boy’s body against him as he pulled back the covers. Then, cradling him gently in his arms (strange that this had happened twice now), he lifted Lance up and set him down on the mattress.
Keith couldn’t believe it. Salty tracks stained the Paladin’s face, and Keith had to fight to keep his own tears down.
Because seeing Lance like this… it hurt.
It was wrong.
It felt more wrong to him than anything had ever felt in his life.
And Keith knew why.
Because ontop of how unbelievable it was that this was how Lance really felt… Keith loved him. He loved Lance so much.
And seeing him like that, completely helpless. Completely broken…
It hurt worse than anything Keith had ever felt before.
And he swore to himself, right there and then, that he would make sure Lance never felt that way again. He wouldn’t give the Paladin room to doubt. He would make him see just how beautiful he was.
Lance awoke to a hand in his own - grip weak - and something pressed against his side. He looked around disoriented for a moment. He was aware of a couple things: the person beside him (obviously), the exhaustion and aching in his limbs, the dim lighting, and the stiff skin on his cheeks that came with dried tears.
So he had been crying? Why?
He moved a bit, sitting up to try and see who was with him.
Had they seen him cry? Dios he hoped not.
As he moved, he felt the hand atop his twitch, before the grip grew tighter. Lance gasped as the figure sat up, and blue eyes met black. The hint of violet in them was a dead give away as to who it was, as was the black mop of hair.
Lance would reckognise that mullet anywhere.
“Keith?” He asked.
“Lance!” And the boy in question had never seen Keith look so happy, so relieved. He wasn’t sure why, not like he was in a healing pod or anything.
“What’s goin’ on?” Lance asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.
And then he remembered. The mindscape, and the figures, and the sobbing and the hugs… and he dropped his gaze.
“…oh.”
He knew his voice sounded small. Weak.
Pathetic.
He couldn’t hold back the wince.
Then a hand squeezed his. “Lance…” Keith tried to turn his gaze towards him, but Lance couldn’t look up. He feared he’d see scrutiny and disgust. He was certain now why Keith had waited by his bedside. He wanted to tell Lance he was off the team. Tell him he couldn’t be the Blue Paladin anymore. Tell him they didn’t want someone on the team who held them back.
And tears flooded his eyes.
“Lance, hey, it’s okay.” Keith brushed a soft hand against the boy’s cheek, brushing away stray tears.
Lance lifted his hands, pushing Keith’s out of the way as he frantically tries to wipe his own eyes. He felt guilty and embarrassed and stupid.
“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, though whether he was apologising for the tears or his very existence he wasn’t sure. He supposed it could be both.
Hands grabbed his face, grip gentle but firm. “Hey, none of that.”
And the tears came even more. Even now he was disappointing Keith with his stupid crying.
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I’m sorry. I- I tried—“
“No, Lance! Don’t apologise.” Keith reiterated.
Of course, Keith didn’t want to see him grovelling. Didn’t want to see his pathetic attempts at asking for forgiveness. He was done with him, and nothing Lance said would change that.
But… dammit a part of him begged to be allowed to stay. Allowed another chance.
He cried harder.
“I know— I know you want me off the team. I know I’m a disappointment. I know I’m just holding you back. But please. Please, I can do better. I’ll work harder. I’ll train every day. Please! Please, Keith, don’t send me away. I- I can’t— I don’t—“ his pleas died out in exchange for desperate sobs.
Look at you. You think this will make him take you back? You’re disgusting! He’s disgusted by you! He’s right to send you away.
You don’t deserve his forgiveness.
You don’t deserve Voltron.
Keith’s voice broke through the terror.
“Woah, hey, hey, hey!” Lance could hear the awkwardness in his voice. Keith never really was good with people. Good with emotions. And here Lance was making it harder by crying all over him.
Deadweight. Dumbass. Worthless.
“No one’s goin’ anywhere. Okay?”
Lance stilled. He sobbing stopped, and he felt like the ground had just been pulled out from under him.
He dared look up, dared meet Keith’s gaze, and was met with nothing but soft, gentle eyes flooded with concern. Concern and heartache.
“What?” He asked weakly.
It didn’t make any sense.
Nothing makes sense to you.
“We're not kicking you out Lance.” Keith said, pain evident in his voice.
Lance was… so confused.
“But…” he couldn’t find the words.
Keith sighed. It wasn’t exasperated, or irritated. Just… heavy. “We need to talk, Lance. You, me, and the rest of the team.”
Oh. So they weren’t kicking him off the team. They were just gonna reprimand him.
I bet it’s because they pity you.
They don’t have the heart to send you to the whims of space. They don’t have the time to drop you back on earth. So once again, they’re just stuck with you.
The deadweight.
The burden.
“Why don’t you come with me.”
And then gentle arms were wrapping around the Blue Paladin’s waste, helping him to his feet. Lance’s legs wobbled, and a new bout of shame engulfed him as he clung tightly to Keith.
Fuck!
Keith led him down to the lounge area, keeping a stable, comforting grip around the shaking boy’s form the whole way down. The half-Galra could tell Lance was still exhausted, and for a moment he wondered if he should have told Lance to rest before dragging him all the way down here.
But, Lance was convinced that the team didn’t want him around, and the thought of letting those feelings simmer any longer made Keith’s heart ache.
No, they needed to talk to him. Before Lance regained the ability to try and cover it up… he was rather good at that. Despite all of this, Keith found himself admiring just how good an actor Lance was. He’d managed to get past Keith’s scary accurate instincts, the Red Paladin not having thought for a second that the boy he paid attention to the most on this ship was hurting so much. Not until it all came crashing down.
Which begged the question: What else had Lance been hiding?
Hopefully nothing. But that wasn’t important right now.
What was important is that Lance got help.
The others were already waiting for them when they arrived. Lance refused to meet their gaze as he was led by the Red Paladin over to the sitting area, where he was lowered onto a couch. Shame churned in his blood as he stared at his shaking hands. He was pathetic, couldn’t even manage to walk himself.
The tension in the room was thick, Altean space goo thick. The longer the silence grew, the worse Lance felt.
Just berate me already! Then we can all move on with our lives! He pleaded.
Not that you’d have anything meaningful to move on to, his mind filled in kindly.
Finally, Shiro decided it was time to put the Blue Paladin out of his misery. “Lance… we need to talk about yesterday. Your mindscape-“
Lance thought he would be able to bear it. To sit through another ridiculing lecture about his incompetence. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t bear to listen to the disappointment of his team members. Couldn’t bear to withstand the disapproval. So, against his better judgement, he interrupted desperately.
“I know! Okay, I know. You don’t have to say anything. I know I fucked up! I failed the exercise and made a complete fool of myself. I know behaved in a way no true Paladin of Voltron ever would! I know I compromised Voltron’s bond and probably put you all in danger, and I know- I- I know you all think I’m stupid, and weak and unworthy now! I know I’m not good enough, I know I’m only here because you don’t have time to find another Paladin for Blue, I know none of you actually want me around! I know! I know, I-“ Tears had begun streaming down his face again, his palms pressed into his eyes as he tried desperately to hide his obvious despair.
A firm grip on his shoulders caused him to look up with a start. In an instant he regretted it as tears spilled from bloodshot, tired eyes.
Weak!
But before he could wipe them away, or hide his face again, Shiro said something he was not expecting.
“No, Lance. No… no to all of that. You didn’t mess anything up, and none of us think you’re weak, or stupid, or unworthy. We do want you here. You belong on this team Lance, and it’s okay to not be… okay sometimes.”
Lance’s tears didn’t let up, despite the obvious genuinely in Shiro’s eyes. He should be grateful… happy. They weren’t mad. But… that… that couldn’t be right.
“N-no. No you’re- you’re lying. You don’t mean that, I know! I already know! I’ve always known! You- you’re just trying to make me feel better. You just- you- you’re trying to keep Voltron together so you don’t have t- to waste time f-f-finding someone else. But you w-w-want to. You want someone better. I know I’m not-“ his choppy, shaky voice cut off at a an angry voice coming from behind Shiro.
“Do you really think that?! After everything we’ve been through! You really think none of us actually care?!” It was Pidge, small, angry, heartbroken Pidge.
“How can you fucking say that shit when we’re supposed to be your friends! How can you fucking- think that shit about yourself— you don’t- how could you not trust us to tell-“ Pidge, smart, intellectual, tactful Pidge, was at a loss for words.
And then her anger broke. Taken over by guilt, regret, and most of all, fear.
“Did we really treat you that badly?”
Lance’s heart was thumping in his chest. No. No he made Pidge upset, now everyone was gonna be mad- he couldn’t- “No- n- no -o no no no, no, no! No! No! It was- you guys never! You guys were always so great! So good! I’m the one that’s the problem here! You never- I just- it’s just the truth. That’s just how it is- I didn’t-“ he paused for a beat, staring at everyone as they watched the interaction. Then, finally, he returned his gaze to his hands, “I’m sorry.”
“Okay, everyone just… take a breath,” Shiro said, stepping away from Lance, and sitting down on a chair across from the couch he was on.
There was silence as everyone situated themselves around the area. Keith sat next to Lance on his left, and Hunk sat on his right. Pidge sat next to Shiro on a stool, while Coran and Allura shared another couch situated next to Pidge and Shiro.
Then, finally, Shiro asked something.
“How long have you been feeling like this?”
Lance was confused. Again.
Idiot.
“Like what?”
“Like you’re not good enough… for Voltron.”
Lance was glad for the final specification. That made the question a little easier to answer. Even still, he found the words tangled in his throat as he feared the reaction the answer would recieve.
“I…” his body tensed as he felt all eyes on him. His heart started racing. He was trying to answer but he couldn’t. Of course he couldn’t. He could never do anything he was supposed to! They were asking him a question and he couldn’t even find it in himself to answer!
Stupid!
Weak!
Worthless!
Deadweight!
Fingers brushed against his thigh, and he looked down to see Keith’s hand slowly inching towards him, clearly trying to comfort him. To get his attention.
“Take your time,” the Red Paladin said. “We- we’ve got nowhere else to go.”
Lance looked away. Look at him, having to be placated like a child. Still, he hated to admit that the removal of pressure helped.
“I… I guess… I guess I… always?” He said uncertainty. Shrinking in on himself as he braced for backlash. Surly now they would see how inadequate he had been from the start.
But Shiro’s voice remained calm, and the room remained quiet.
“Why?”
Lance scoffed at that, leaning back against the couch, but keeping his eyes on his lap. “Isn’t it kind of obvious?”
“Tell me anyway. It might not be as obvious to some of us.”
Lance was pretty sure that wasn’t true, but he was already on thin ice with the team as it was, he wasn’t about to disobey Shiro.
Still though, it took him several minutes to be able to say the words out loud.
“You- you guys are all so… so good at stuff. Pidge is smart and good with technology and determined. She can hack into anything and we’d be dead like 10x over without her. Hunk is gentle, and big hearted, he’s a good cook and a great engineer for Voltron. He gets along well with aliens and he’s always there when people need him. Allura and Coran are the last of their kind alive! We need Allura to run the ship, she’s got altean magic plus she’s like royalty. She’s important. And Coran keeps everything running on the ship. He knows so much about space and planets, and he’s the best doctor we have - besides the healing pods. Keith’s our best pilot and our best swordsman. He’s confident and brave and insanely talented! Without him I don’t know if we’d have survived half the battles we were in, he’s a great soldier! And Shiro is… Shiro is our leader. Shiro’s been through so much. He’s so calm and level headed and determined and we need him. Without Shiro we’d be nothing! Without any of you we’d be nothing!”
He paused, taking a moment to catch his breath, recollect his thoughts, and brace himself for what he was about to say next. For the truth he’d kept inside for so long. There was no hiding it anymore, they’d all seen it first hand and now he had to explain it.
“But me? I’m nothing special. I’m not… any of that. I’m not smart, I’m not creative, or a diplomat. I’m not brave or talented or a leader. I don’t know things! I’m not important! I’m just Lance! I’m stupid and weak and annoying and useless and I don’t contribute anything but subpar shooting skills that any of you could probably learn faster than I ever did! I’m just a fucking deadweight, I hold Voltron back, I’m a fucking joke of a pilot! I’m not even really a fighter pilot, I got in a technicality! I always fuck things up! I’m a fuck up! A stupid, weak, good for nothing, worthless fuck up who doesn’t deserve to be a Paladin! Voltron would be so much better off if I just stopped being selfish and fucked off already so you guys wouldn’t have to deal with my shit anymore! Maybe then we’d actually be making progress against the Galra!”
He hadn’t meant to say that much. Actually he’d planned on stopping after ‘I’m just Lance!’ But, once he started, he found the words just poured out of him faster than he could collect them back up. And now… now here he was. With everything he’d ever felt about himself being laid on the table. Everything his own mind ever fucking screamed at him coming out in a convoluted mess as he finally found the words put to it’s mockery.
Lance lifted his hand, trying to whisk his still very much present tears away, when a gloved hand caught it.
He looked at Keith, making eye contact. Suddenly he was stuck. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think (not that he usually could).
Because Keith, warrior, closed off, emotionless Keith… had tears in his eyes.
“That’s not true! None of that is true! You’re not stupid, or weak, or worthless, or any of that! You are Lance! Smart, skilled, funny, beautiful, amazing, wonderful Lance! Lance who always seems to know how to lighten the mood or offer up a joke! Lance who keeps everyone positive and innocent in the middle of a fucking space war! Lance, the sharpshooter, who we know always has our backs in battle. Lance who cares so much about everyone around him, and who would give his life in an instant to save any one of us! Lance who hid for so long that he was suffering because he didn’t want to make anyone else upset! Lance who thinks of everyone so highly that he thinks he isn’t good enough! But you are Lance! You are good enough! You’ve always been good enough! You’re not a deadweight, or a cargo pilot! You are so much more than that!”
Lance just stared as Keith tried to drive home a message that he just… that Lance couldn’t comprehend. This wasn’t… this couldn’t… he’d always known that he wasn’t… and now Kieth, Kieth who hated Lance’s guts was telling him…
Hunk joined up, bringing Lance into his arms as he began to speak. “We care about you man. Me especially. Whenever I’m feeling nervous or overwhelmed, you are what keeps me grounded. Keeps me from completely freaking out. You’re my best friend, and I would be devastated if you left. I couldn’t do this without you.”
Pidge nodded, staying where she was as she added her own two cents. “I know I haven’t always been the nicest towards you… especially in our early days as friends. I made you feel like you were stupid and not worth my time, and I didn’t even realise or try to apologise because I had other things going on. But I’ve always admired you Lance… the way you embrace everyone around you so easily - except maybe Keith - and the way you’re always so aware of everything going on around you. You always know exactly what to say or do to take the edge off, even if it means you end up getting yelled at or in trouble. You take care of us out here, and I never told you before but… I am extremely grateful for you.”
Lance was speechless. They were all saying such… nice things. Things he never saw as passably notable or important. Things he’d always said he had to do to make up for the fact that he was a complete fucking pile of nothing. And of course they weren’t! Not up to the standards of everyone else. None of that really helped in the fight against the Galra… did it?
“Lance,” Shiro began, “you are a valued and inconsequential member of this team. Your bond with the Blue Lion is the strongest out of all of us. Your ability to trust so deeply and so completely in others has been life changing in our diplomatic missions. There’s something about you that is just… so disarming that people want to be around you. I just wish…” he sighed, “I just wish you’d trusted us enough to tell us that you were feeling like this. You didn’t have to suffer alone Lance, none of us ever have to go through anything alone.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Pidge asked. She always wanted to know the why.
Lance, completely taken aback by everything, took a minute to register the question.
“I… didn’t think anyone would care. I thought it was just common knowledge… or that if I told you then you’d realise I was right. I didn’t want to jeopardize our objective with my stupid problems, not when it was just as easy to go about my day pretending everything was fine.”
Shiro’s eyes grew soft, “Lance, we would never ever kick you off the team for talking about your problems. I promise. You should never be afraid to talk to us. You don’t have to lie, or pretend you’re okay when you’re not. We’re a team, we’re here for each other, and nobody is going to be angry at you for telling us how you’re feeling.”
Lance’s lower lip trembled. The tears, which had subsided by the time Hunk started talking, came back. He pulled his hand out of Keith’s grasp to wipe at his eyes… again.
“I just- I- I didn’t want you guys to hate me.” Lance had given up trying to sound okay. His voice was wet, broken and oh so afraid. As if any minute they would realise that everything he was talking about was indeed true, and that they’d send him off into space. It’s what he deserved.
Hunk pulled him in again, this time it was a proper bear hug. Lance cried. It wasn’t the raw, terrified, pleading sobs that had taken over his body in the training room. These tears were drawn from a place of relief and mild fear. After all this time he’d finally let it all out, he’d finally opened up and showed them what he was - what he really was - and so far… they didn’t hate him.
They could. They may one day just decide they didn’t want him around. But right now they wanted him… all of him.
So he cried; and when Keith wrapped his arms around Lance from behind he didn’t resist; and when Pidge and Coran came over to join he didn’t fight; and when Allura and the space mice nuzzled their way in he didn’t try to run; and when Shiro finally decided to join in fully on the embrace, he stayed put.
He didn’t scream, or kick, or claw or try to get away. He embraced them, all of them. Embraced their warmth and their love, and their desire for him to be okay.
And he cried.
And though those tears would not be able to wash away the toxin of his brain. The poison that had built up after years of his life feeling like he was just some second rate cargo pilot from Cuba… they were a start.
A start to the long road to healing. A start to seeing himself as equal to his peers. A start to seeing himself deserving of Blue and his Paladin uniform.
They were a start to his long journey to feeling like he was worthy.
Like he was something.
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