#there are things that i could say now about certain subjects but i won't

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

Okay, so I don't mean to be that kind of Jew, but I just saw a post about how wonderful Purim is (it is) and what a wonderful thing it is that despite facing the prospect of genocide, Mordechai and Ester chose to commemorate this event by celebrating and being joyful instead of responding to it with anger or sadness. I didn't want to take away from that lovely sentiment, but

[wifelinkmtg]

TUMBLR POST EDITOR WON'T LET ME TITLE THIS POST ANYMORE SO I GUESS THIS IS THE TITLE NOW. WEBBED SITE INNIT

So let's say you grew up in the nineties and that The Lion King was an important movie to you. Let's say that the character of Scar - snarling, ambitious, condescending, effeminate Scar - stirred feelings in you which you had no words for as a child. And then let's say, many years later, you're talking about it with a college friend, and you say something like, "oh man, I think Scar was some sort of gay awakening for me," and she fixes you with this level stare and says, "Scar was a fascist. What's the matter with you?"

The immediate feeling is not unlike missing a step: hang on, what's happening, what did I miss? You knew there were goose-stepping hyenas in "Be Prepared," but you didn't think it mattered that much. He's the bad guy, after all, and the movie's just pointing it out. Your friend says it's more than that: the visuals of the song are directly referencing the Nuremberg rallies. They're practically an homage to Riefenstahl. This was your sexual awakening? Is this why you're so into peaked caps and leather, then? Subliminal nazi kink, perhaps?

And then one of your other friends cuts in. "Hold up," he says, "let's think about what Scar actually did in the movie. He organized a group of racialized outcasts and led them against a predatory monarchy. Why are you so keen to defend their hereditary rule? Scar's the good guy here." The conversation immediately descends into a verbal slap fight about who the real bad guy is, whether Scar's regime was actually responsible for the ecological devastation of the Pride Lands, whether the hyenas actually count as "racialized" because James Earl Jones voiced Mufasa after all. Your Catholic friend starts saying some strange and frankly concerning shit about Natural Law. Someone brings The Lion King 2 into it. You leave the conversation feeling a little bit lost and a little bit anxious. What were we even talking about?

INTRODUCING: THE DITCH

There is a way of reading texts which I'm afraid is pervasive, which has as its most classical expression the smug obsession with trivia and minutiae you find in a certain vein of comic book fan. "Who was the first Green Lantern? What was his weakness? Do you even know the Green Lantern Oath?" It eschews the subjective in favor of definitively knowable fact. You can't argue with this guy that, say, Alan Scott shouldn't really count as the first Green Lantern because his whole deal is so radically different from the Hal Jordan/John Stewart/Guy Gardner Corps-era Lanterns, because this guy will simply say "but he's called Green Lantern. Says so right on the cover. Checkmate." This approach to reading a text is fundamentally 1) emotionally detached (there's a reason the joke goes, oh you like X band? name three of their songs - and not, which of their songs means the most to you? which of them came into your life at exactly the right moment to tell you exactly what you needed to hear just then?) and 2) defensive. It's a stance that is designed not to lose arguments. It says so right on the cover. Checkmate.

And then you get the guys who are like "well obviously Bruce Wayne could do far more as a billionaire to solve societal problems by using his tremendous wealth to address systemic issues instead of dressing up as a bat and punching mental patients in the head," and these guys have half a point but they're basically in the same ditch butting heads with the "well, actually" guys, and can we not simply extricate ourselves from the ditch entirely?

So, okay, let's return to our initial example. Scar is portrayed using Nazi iconography - the goose-stepping, the monumentality, the Nuremberg Lichtdom. He is also flamboyant and effete. He unifies and leads a group of downtrodden exiles to overthrow an absolute monarch. He's also a self-serving despot on whose rule Heaven Itself turns its back. You can't reconcile these things from within the ditch - or if you can, the attempt is likely to be ad-hoc supposition and duct tape.

Instead, let's ask ourselves what perspective The Lion King is coming from. What does it say is true about the world? What are its precepts, its axioms?

There is a natural hierarchical order to the world. This is just and righteous and the way of things, and attempts to overthrow this order will be punished severely by the world itself.

Fascism is what happens when evil men attempt to usurp this natural order with the aid of a group or groups of people who refuse to accept their place in the order.

There exists an alternative to defending and adhering to one's place in the natural order - it consists only of selfish spineless apathy.

Manliness is an essential quality of a just ruler. Unmanliness renders a person unfit for rule, and often resentful and dangerous as well.

And isn't that interesting, laid out like that? It renders the entire argument about the movie irrelevant (except for whatever your Catholic friend was on about, since his understanding of the world seems to line up with the above precepts weirdly well.) It's meaningless to argue about whether Scar was a secret hero or a fascist, when the movie doesn't understand fascism and has a damn-near alien view of what good and evil are.

There's always gonna be someone who, having read this far, wants to reply, "so, what? The Lion King is a bad movie and the people who made it were homophobes and also American monarchists, somehow? And anyone who likes it is also some sort of gay-bashing crypto-authoritarian?" To which I have to reply, man, c'mon, get out of the ditch. You're no good to anyone in there. Take my hand. I'm going to pull on three. One... two...

SO PHYREXIA [PAUSE FOR APPLAUSE, GROANS]

We're talking about everyone's favorite ichor-drooling surgery monsters again because there was a bit in my ~*~seminal~*~ essay Transformation, Horror, Eros, Phyrexia which seemed to give a number of readers quite a bit of trouble: namely, the idea that while Phyrexia is textually fascist, their aesthetic is incompatible with real-world fascism, and further, that this aesthetic incompatibility in some way outweighs the ways in which they act like a fascist nation in terms of how we think of them. I'll take responsibility here: I don't think that point is at all clear or well-argued in that essay. What I was trying to articulate was that the text of Magic: the Gathering very much wants Phyrexia to be supremely evil and dangerous fascists, because that makes for effective antagonists, but in the process of constructing that, it's accidentally encoded a whole bunch of fascinating presuppositions that end up working at cross-purposes with its apparent aim. That's... not that much clearer, is it? Hmm. Why don't I just show you what I mean?

Atraxa, Grand Unifier (art by Marta Nael)

In "Beneath Eyes Unblinking," one of the March of the Machine stories by K. Arsenault Rivera, there's a fascinating and I think revealing passage in which Atraxa (big-deal Phyrexianized angel and Elesh Norn's lieutenant) has a run-in with an art museum in New Capenna. The first thing I want to talk about is that, in this passage, Atraxa has no understanding of the concept of "beauty". A great deal of space in such a rushed storyline is devoted to her trying to puzzle out what beauty means and interrogating the minds of her recently-compleated Capennan aesthetes to try and understand it. In the end, she is unable to conceive of beauty except as "wrongness," as anathema.

So my first question is, why doesn't Atraxa have any idea of beauty? This is nonsense, right? We could point to a previous story, "A Garden of Flesh," by Lora Gray, in which Elesh Norn explicitly thinks in terms of beauty, but that's a little bit ditchbound, isn't it? The better argument is to simply look at Phyrexian bodies, at the Phyrexian landscape, all of which looks the way it does on purpose, all of which has been shaped in accordance with the very real aesthetic preferences of Phyrexians. How you could look at the Fair Basilica and not understand that Phyrexians most definitely have an idea of beauty, even if you personally disagree with it, is baffling. This is a lot like the canonical assertion that Phyrexians lack souls, which is both contradicted elsewhere in canon and essentially meaningless, given Magic's unwillingness or inability to articulate what a soul is in its setting, and as with this, it seems the goal is simply to dehumanize Phyrexians, to render them alien, even at the cost of incoherence or internal contradiction.

Atraxa's progress through the museum is fascinating. It evokes the 1937 Nazi exhibit on "degenerate art" in Munich, but not at all cleanly. The first exhibit, which is of representational art, she angrily destroys for being too individualistic (a point of dissonance with the European fascist movements of the 20th century, which formed in direct antagonism to communism.) The second exhibit, filled with abstract paintings and sculptures, she destroys even more angrily for having no conceivable use (this is much more in line with the Nazi idea of "degenerate art", so well done there.) The third exhibit is filled with war trophies and reconstructions from a failed Phyrexian invasion of Capenna many years prior, which she is angriest of all with (and fair enough, I suppose.) But then, after she's done completely trashing the place, she spots a number of angel statues on the cathedral across the plaza, and she goes apeshit. In a fugue of white-hot rage, she pulverizes the angel heads, and here is where I have to ask my second question:

Why angels? If you are trying to invoke fascist attitudes toward art, big statues of angels are precisely the wrong thing for your fascist analogues to hate. Fascists love monumental, heroic representations of superhuman perfection. It's practically their whole aesthetic deal. I understand that we're foreshadowing the imminent defeat of Phyrexia at the hands of legions of angels and a multiversal proliferation of angel juice, but that just leads to the exact same question: why angels? To the best of my knowledge, the Phyrexian weakness to New Capennan angel juice is something invented for this storyline. They have, after all, been happily compleating angels since 1997. We could talk about the in-universe justification for why Halo specifically is so potent, but I don't remember what that justification is, and also don't care. Let's not jump back in the ditch, please. The point is, someone decided that this time, Phyrexia would be defeated by an angelic host, and what does that mean? What is the text trying to say? What are its precepts and axioms?

Let me ask you a question: how many physically disabled angels are there in Magic: the Gathering? How about transsexual angels? How many angels are there, on all of the cards that have ever been printed for Magic: the Gathering, that are even just a bit ugly? Do you get it yet? Or do you need me to spell it out for you?

SPELLING IT OUT FOR YOU

There is a kind of body which is bad. It is bad because it has been significantly altered from its natural state, and it is bad because it is repellent to our aesthetic sensibilities.

The bad kind of body is contagious. It spreads through contact. Sometimes people we love are infected, and then they become the bad kind of body too.

There is a kind of body which is good. It is good because it is pleasing to our aesthetic sensibilities, and it is good because it is unaltered from its (super)natural state.

A happy ending is when all the good bodies destroy or drive into hiding all of the bad bodies. A happy ending is when the bad bodies of the people we love are forcibly returned to being the good kind of body.

Do you get it now?

ENDNOTES

It's worth noting that the ditch is very similar to the white American Evangelical hermeneutics of "the Bible says it. I believe it. That settles it," the defensive chapter-and-verse-or-it-didn't-happen approach to reading a text, what Fred Clark of slacktivist calls "concordance-ism". I don't think that's accidental. We stand underneath centuries of people reading the Bible very poorly - how could that not affect how we read things today? We are participants in history whether we like it or not.

I sincerely hope I haven't come across as condescending in this essay. Close reading is legitimately difficult! They teach college courses on this stuff! And while it is frustrating to have my close readings interrogated by people who... aren't doing that, like. I do get it. I find myself back in the ditch all the time. This stuff is hard. It is also, sorry, crucial if you intend to say something about a text that's worth saying.

I also hope I've communicated clearly here. Magic story is sufficiently incoherent that trying to develop a thesis about it often feels like trying to nail jello to the wall. If anyone has questions, please ask them! And thank you for reading. Next time, we'll probably do the new Eldraine set.

[monicaeidolith]

it's been 8 years and she's still down bad for her neighbor (who wouldn't)

and so there she is: Step 3 Athena! 🌙✨

Step 1 & Step 2 here

(Infos about Athena in every steps except 4 below if you're interested)

(watch out it's long.)

Step 1 -

At 10, Athena is a very curious girl, somewhat nosey and a bit clumsy (main reason why she often has bandages). She likes puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing (but nothing that serious about that hobby yet). While she isn't very shy, she's still uneasy around people she doesn't know and moving to a new town isn't helping. She has trouble accepting changes, and this whole situation is a way too big change.

Athena is very close to her mom during step 1. Unfortunately for her, she doesn't really look like her that much and she's kind of bothered by that, especially because the person she obviously looks like, her "dad", isn't there. Not having a dad isn't really a huge problem for her, but Athena fears a little bit people's opinion on that subject: "Is it weird that I don't have a dad...?".

She's feeling sad and scared about moving out, as she has to get used to a completely different world (in her eyes). "At least I have my mom", she thinks. But if moving in Golden Grove was scary at first, meeting Qiu and Tamarack was a huge help for Athena to feel included.

She thinks Qiu, aka "Autumn", is funny but also a huge show-off, haha. She LOVES to tease Qiu. But Athena's also genuinely worried about Qiu sometimes, because that kid is a huge people-pleaser.

When it comes to Tamarack, man... Athena totally puts this girl on a pedestal. She thinks Tamarack is amazing and pretty. And should Tamarack say anything positive about Athena, you can be certain the latter will go crazy internally. At 10, Athena doesn't realize she actually has a huge crush on Tamarack yet, though.

Step 2 -

At 14, Athena became a sort of troublemaker, she barely cares about rules. She's not mean but she grew to be more blunt and direct than she was as a 10-year-old, this and her current appearance make her seem unapproachable. However she kept her soft side, a side that she ironically doesn't even keep that much hidden but that you still have to deserve. If at 10 she would often have bandages because of her clumsiness, at 14, it's mostly because she's reckless. Some things that remained are her love for puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing, in fact, she started to get interested in visual arts.

In fact, the tough side of her personality grew when her first group friends with Qiu and Tamarack slowly fell apart. She couldn't do anything to prevent that from happening, so she felt like she had to toughen up. But to be honest, she's becoming tired of being the sole link between them, she's barely trying to now. Maybe Qiu and Tamarack won't become friends again. She has to accept it... but maybe Athena still has troubles accepting changes, no matter how old she is, after all.

Despite all that, Athena still treats both of them nicely. She still teases Qiu whenever she can (watch out Athena, the teasing could backfire on you). Her worries about them are still present too, but for different reasons than in step 1. Even 4 years later, Athena still retrieve Qiu's lost papers because they would NOT do it themselves. No matter what, Autumn remains her dear friend and the feeling is mutual.

Tamarack, aka "Tam", is her best friend! ... and the girl she has a crush on, Athena realized it now. Athena doesn't know if Tam feels the same way or not, though. Athena still thinks Tamarack is the most amazing and most talented person out there, she wishes Tam could see it too. She's highly worried about Tamarack potentially leaving Golden Grove at any moment but she tries to hide it from Tamarack. "Tam probably has enough of people walking on eggshells with her", she thinks. Athena dislikes Tamarack's parents for not only never being there for their daughter but also for making her situation so uncertain, only for their own interests (in her eyes).

Another feeling started to grow: jealousy. Athena will feel jealous of anyone who seems a bit too close to Tamarack. Does she think she's no match for Tamarack? Yes. Does that stop her from being jealous? No. She knows she has no right to be, Tamarack is a wonderful girl, it's impossible not to like her, but she can't help it.

Athena grew to be even more bothered by her lack of resemblance with her mother. Some times before turning 14, she started to dye her hair cranberry, just like her mom's hair color (let's say Opal didn't really like to see that her daughter started dyeing her hair at her young age, reaction Athena didn't appreciate, all she wanted was to look like her mom, what's the problem?). Ironically, while Athena wishes so hard to look like her mom, her relationship with her became somewhat strained. As if resembling a completely unknown guy wasn't enough. Living his best life nowhere to be found, uh? Resentment is the word here. Never towards her mom, even if their relationship is not that good at this point, but towards this guy who gave her his physical traits she never wanted and started to despise.

At least she became used to live in Golden Grove.

Step 3 -

At 18, Athena is not the rough troublemaker that she was at 14 anymore. Now she's more like a silly prankster, seemingly always up to something more stupid than before, although she remains reckless and blunt (but less on purpose and more out of habit). Of course, her interest in visual arts remained intact. Her liking for creepy stuff turned into a huge love for horror and its aesthetic.

Her relationship with her mom is getting better than it was 4 years ago. Athena grew out of the resentment she had for her "dad" during step 2 and learned to accept she may not look that much like her mom, but that it doesn't cancel the fact she's Opal's daughter no matter how she looks. Plus "some bits of [Opal] did end up in [her]" after all, right?

Athena's relationship with Autumn is what you could describe as "siblings by hearts", Athena does consider them as the sibling she never had.

Athena and Tamarack are still officially "besties for life", but little do they know that they both ended up falling in love with each other, plain and simple.

Her jealousy and resentment did tone down, but when she thinks back to her 14-year-old self, she feels bad, so bad. For being jealous of Tamarack's friends, for being resentful of a random donor and basically making many things about herself. "Man, I was such a prick. And for what?".

If when she was 14, Athena felt like she was no match for Tamarack because she put Tam on a pedestal, at 18, she now thinks she's simply not good enough as a person for Tamarack. She kind of "accepted" that if Tamarack only wants to be friends, then it's fine, she cannot force Tam to love her back. It's silly to think someone like her could be extra-special in Tam's heart anyway (girl if you knew.), it's nice enough to be her best friend.

Between step 2 and 3, Athena managed to put a label on herself: she's lesbian.

[nohaijiachi]

Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside

Before we get into the subject matter of the title let me preface a couple of things:

1- All that will follow is, big surprise, my opinion and my interpretation of this character. Do I think I am The One And Only Who Gets The Blorbo Right and that my ideas are 100% the way the author(s) intended to convey the character? No.

More likely than not the way I see Aziraphale could be intensely different from the way Authorman sees him, or Actorman sees him, and I don't think that my interpretation is necessarily any more correct than anybody's else.

That said, if I also did not think that I am, in fact, correct on a certain level, I wouldn't have bothered forming such a thought out opinion of Aziraphale in the first place, nor would be sitting here, writing this post that I can already tell is going to be entirely too long and might probably ruffle some feathers.

So I'll be writing the rest of this post with the caveat that I while I do think my interpretation correct, I'm also not trying to change anybody's mind nor to discredit anybody's else interpretation of Aziraphale. We can sit here in the sandpit and hold different opinions and still be able to build sandcastles together, it really isn't that deep at the end of the day; I can assure you, I'm not here to fight nor cause fights with this one.

2- With the above point, comes also the fact that I won't bother continuously saying "In my opinion" for the rest of this post. You already know that. So, if something will come across as a bit caustic, do know that it is very much tongue in cheek and I am poking a bit of fun at general fannish habits that I am also very much quote-unquoute 'guilty' of having partaken into, and will partake into again plenty of times in the future, I'm sure.

So, with that: Here's Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside

A large part of the people comprising this fandom prefers Crowley. There, I said it.

This fandom's preference blatantly skews toward Crowley. Can we admit that openly? Let's admit that openly.

To be clear, this isn't meant to be an accusation or recrimination or any other -ation you can think of, I am merely stating matter-of-factly a phenomena I've observed in the last four years.

It is also not a wrong nor bad thing in any way, shape or form. I adore Crowley myself. I love them both so much it's unreal.

But I started with that because I think it is very much a symptom of the fact that a lot of people don't get Aziraphale.

I remember back with S1 there had been plenty of times when I found myself reading discussions and opinion exchanges about Aziraphale and Crowley, their dynamics, all the things that went unsaid behind the things that were said, and found myself genuinely surprised by seeing how some people interpreted certain moments wildly different from how I personally saw them.

I look back at that and I think "Oh, sweet summer child". Nothing could have prepared me from the onslaught of takes about Aziraphale that make me go "Good lord, what???" in the wake of S2, and the infamous Last Fifteen.

Now because I don't want to be pointing fingers at specific things and risk upsetting somebody more than I already am by being open in admitting that, guys, yes, some of the takes y'all have been sharing make me go "Yikes(tm)", I'll move on the interesting part and what I would actually love to discuss, aka cracking Aziraphale's head open and see what that actual fuck is going on in there.

Another preface: Because this duo is intrinsically linked and woven together it is downright impossible to only focus on Aziraphale without also mentioning Crowley, so... Let me circle back to our fav demon bae for a sec, here.

I think the reason why it seems that a larger part of the fandom favors Crowley is because I feel like Crowley is a much easier character to grasp. He is very open in his thoughts and feelings, at any given moment us, the audience, have a much easier time watching a scene and sort of ruminating in the back of our heads about Crowley's motivations for saying the things he says and doing the things he does.

That isn't to say Crowley is a less complex character than Aziraphale. They are very much equally complex and multifaceted individuals with their strengths and weaknesses, their issues and the way they each cope with them, how differently they approach their existence and so on and so forth.

But whereas Crowley as a character presents itself with a certain dynamism and a far more outward openness about his complexity, Aziraphale does the exact opposite; we can say Aziraphale is downright hermetic about it.

For us, the audience, he presents a challenge that requires a good deal of thought being put into him to see over the facade he presents at a more superficial level; he requires time and effort to fully dismantle him in our minds to try and see what makes him thick (other than his thighs), and thus I think it is entirely natural that more people latch on the far easier to identify-with, and relate-to, Crowley.

And that is the inevitable consequence of everything that makes Aziraphale... Well, Aziraphale.

So, where to start? Let's try and jot down what Aziraphale truly is at his core.

He is a contradiction.

This man-shaped being is a walking contradiction, constantly existing in a state of being coated in three thousand layers of misdirection and obfuscation and double thinking.

Why is that? Well. He's an angel.

Aziraphale loves being an angel. It is a tenet of his entire existence and something he cherishes. He wants, so very much, to be his ideal of what a good angel is: An entity who is kind and loving and understanding and forgiving.

Of course us, the audience, know that is utter bullshit, because we know angels can be individuals just as complex as the humans Aziraphale loves so much, with all their inherent flaws and capability for cruelty. And, on a certain level, Aziraphale knows that too.

So there we have it, one element of contradiction: Aziraphale wants to think that angels are always Good and Righteous and Never Wrong; Aziraphale knows that angels aren't, in fact, always Good and Righteous and, by god, can they make plenty of mistakes, too.

What else? How about Aziraphale sitting there, being in love with a demon, fully knowing that at the end of the day demons really ain't that different from angels, and also desperately hanging onto the concept of Good vs Bad.

And he sits there, existing with these two contrasting idea equally taking space in his mind, neither side ever capable of taking over the other.

What else do we have? Aziraphale loves God and wants so hard to believe in Her love for humanity and Her ineffable plan, and Aziraphale also time and again does things that very blatantly go against Her will, lies to Her face, and Doubts. He Doubts, a lot, and that requires the capital letter because those Doubts are what spur him in going against everything he's ever told to believe in order to do the right thing.

Aziraphale's very existence is a constant push-and-pull of things he wants to believe and things he knows are real; things he's told to do and things he wants to do. That's how we get "My side" and "there's a bit of good in you" and "you are the bad guys".

And nothing he's lived through has managed to break him out of this unhealthy way of existing quite yet; that's why he acts the way we see him act in the Edinburgh flashback in S2, or at the start of S1 when Crowley has to ease Aziraphale into the idea of trying to stop Armageddon with the usual song and dance of "temptation" and "plausible deniability" and "you'd be thwarting me", even though from the start we can tell there's a little part of Aziraphale who is clearly not at ease with the idea of the end of the world, and once he's been given 'permission' by Crowley nudging him, he is all the way in with the whole saving the world business, not take-backsies.

Both the moments I mentioned here are very important for different reasons, but of the two is very much the Edinburgh flashback that gets a lot more flack by the fandom and is blatantly misunderstood, which I think is the inevitable consequence of that minisode immediately following the glorious, beautiful, heartbreaking piece of art that is the "A companion to owls" minisode.

I've seen a lot of people lamenting that Aziraphale acts obnoxiously in the Edinburgh flashback and, yeah. He does. But I feel like the fact that we are seeing this after watching Aziraphale struggle his way through saving Job's children, even being willing to go to Hell for it, is a though act to follow and probably soured Edinburgh-Aziraphale for a lot of people, made them think that the character had regressed instead of progressing.

But, see, the way he acts is wholly congruous with who Aziraphale is and has always been and keeps being up to the very end of S2. Yes, even after what he does for Job's children.

If you get down to it, Aziraphale had been ready to give up and let the children die, in episode 2. For a brief moment, after Crowley told him he 'longed to destroy the blameless children', Aziraphale was walking away, having tried all he thought he could try to do to stop this senseless act. That was until Crowley tested him by making the crows bleat, cuing Aziraphale to the fact that his impression of Crowley wasn't wrong, and the he could count on him to do the right thing.

To be clear, I don't want to undermine Aziraphale's action by only giving the credit to Crowley but... It is, also, only thanks to Crowley cajoling him and giving him the right excuses, that Aziraphale feels safe in doing what he's always wanted to do all along.

He'd wanted to save Job's children, and thought he couldn't until Crowley threw him that hell of a lifesaver. He wanted to save the world and thought he couldn't until Crowley nudged him on the path of plausible deniability.

He wanted to save Elspeth's eternal soul, blinding himself to the hardships she'd have to endure in her not-eternal life, and was smacked right in the face by the reality of human suffering multiple times.

The way Aziraphale acts in that flashback can't be a regression, because there never was a progression in the first place: He'd always walked the line between Heaven's and God's will and his own, personal morality and sense of justice.

By all means, if we look at Uz-Aziraphale and modern-day-Aziraphale at the start of S1, his reticence about the whole saving the world business should, by all means, appear as a regression as well. You mean to tell me that he'd been ready to become a demon for the sake of three mortal children, and then suddenly a handful of thousands years later when faced with the prospect of the whole world going up in flames he'd just be all like "Heaven will triumph over Hell and it will be all rather lovely"? Like, fuck off, Aziraphale, you lying double-thinker, you (/pos)

Aziraphale constantly exist while being at war with himself. Circumstances have allowed him to rebel the will of Heaven and God more or less safely time and again, but he never quite managed to break free entirely. He'd always ended up being reeled back in, being fed the party lines, being made to feel shame for his independent thinking, until it all becomes too much and he is forced to step back from that freedom he'd been inches away from grasping.

Back and forth, back and forth, never stopping.

And all of this, all of what he is, makes it so hard for us, the audience, to truly see him. To truly grasp him. To truly watch any given scene with him and figure out what he might be thinking or feeling.

To understand Aziraphale is to understand what he is not saying when he says something, which is a good deal harder to do than it is to understand and relate to a character like Crowley, who very much revel in saying exactly whatever the heck he thinks whenever he damn well pleases.

All those layers of obfuscation and misdirection and double thinking that Aziraphale coats himself in are as much an armor that makes it harder for the audience to understand him as they are his very own downfall because, good lord, if you exist like that, if you exist forced to keep things hidden from yourself, well... It's inevitable that at some point you are going to stumble into pitfalls of your own making.

And I love him for it.

So, there? I hope I managed to explain something with this post, and that it wasn't just the rambling of someone who spends way too much time thinking about her blorbos. To be clear, I don't think people who haven't spent as much time as me trying to dissect and better understand Aziraphale's character are like, dumber than me or anything. It's just that this pair of angelic-demonic blorbos take too much real estate in my mind, lol.

Feel free to let me know your opinion and if you think I am wildly off mark and my Take Is Bad. I might answer, I might not, it all depends on time and my mood ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

[acowardinmordor]

You Left Me, You Miss Me

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four

@mc-i-r is writing another version of this and tagged me and my brain woke up, so here ya go. This is almost all dialogue, and my new love for Mrs Buckley.

----

"Hey Steve-o! Get in here!" Robin yelled.

"Thought you were talking to your mom?" Steve shouted back.

"I am! That's why you have to come here! The cord won't reach!"

Steve hauled himself up from the corner of the kitchen where he was reorganizing things for the third time since they moved in last week. There was a pile of boxes they really needed to open in the hallway, and his mattress was still against the wall, but he kept going back to the kitchen, trying to make it work despite there being only one pull out drawer. One. They noticed before they signed the lease, but they both assumed they could make it work somehow if they just tried hard enough. But. Third time's the charm.

Flopping onto the thrifted couch next to his best friend, he leaned against her head, and greeted, "Hi Mrs Buckley, how are you?"

"Now why can't you answer the phone so politely, Robin? Who raised you to be so impolite?"

"Yeah, mom, I know you love Steve more than you love me, you tell me every time you talk to him, now can you say it again please?"

"Yes, well, like I was saying, I don't really know why they were all so upset about it, but I didn't want to overstep, so I didn't tell them anything. Not really. Only that you had moved and that you were fine. It's not like that's a secret. Then I noticed that they didn't know about that and so I didn't answer the rest of the questions, which really only made them more upset, but I think they were upset with me, not with the pair of you, so that's perfectly fine, none of them were nearly as vicious as Robin was when she was fifteen and decided she--"

"Mom!"

Steve giggled. Robin's rambling came from her mother, that was certain, and it was worse when they were on the phone. They fed on each other's talking. Like that snake thing.

"Right, yes. Well, Steve, like I told her, those boys, the ones you used to babysit for, they came around to ask if I knew where you were," Mrs Buckley finally said.

Robin grabbed his hand with the one not holding the phone, and pressed her forehead harder against his as they crowded the handset. Steve didn't think he'd reacted, but they didn't need anything as boring as a visible reaction to know each other.

"They said that they went into the video store and saw someone new at the desk, and when they heard that the two of you were no longer working there -- Apparently that manager of yours had some unpleasant words on the subject. You know I never liked him? The first time I stepped in there he asked me if I was still married? Not like that, of course, but it was still very strange. I didn't like it. And according to Robin he was always like that, wasn't he, Steven?"

"Yeah, he was pretty weird," Steve answered numbly.

"Well, that Keith fellow told them you were no longer employed there and that curly haired one demanded to know where you were employed. Since its not like he knew even if he would have told them, those boys went looking for themselves. I guess they went to your house first, Steven, and must have seen the for sale sign. I don't know what your parents are thinking, selling with the market like it is right now, but no one has ever made either of your parents listen to a single word of sense in their lives."

"Mom, the point?"

"Yes, sorry dear, like I told Robin, eventually it must have occurred to them that the two of you would be in the same place and thought to come by. Well. I say come by. First they called, and your father, you know how he is, simply said you were no longer in residence and hung up on them. He thinks he's so funny. Oh! Make sure you remember to call next Tuesday to congratulate him. It's his first day as the lead manager in the office. Oh no, wait, does it count as long distance for you? Never mind, I'll place the call so you don't have to worry about it."

"Mrs Buckley? You were saying something about Dustin?" He was proud that his voice was steady. They left Hawkins eleven days ago. They started packing two weeks before that. His parents put the house on the market around the same time. It wasn't until today that they noticed.

"Yes, that's the one. So Dustin didn't take your father's humor well, and he and his friends came by earlier this evening."

"Wait, evening?" Steve interrupted, "It was dark? They were biking around in the dark? In this weather?"

"Oh goodness no, that young man drove them. The one that was in the papers that the pair of you helped last year. He was much more polite than they were. Well, once I told them that you'd moved, they all started shouting over each other, I was sure that Ms Wickley was going to come over and scold them."

"I'm sorry, ma'am--"

"Oh you don't need to ma'am me Steven, I've told you that."

"Mom, he was just trying to be polite when he asked you to please get to the point, so can you, you know, try to get to the point some time tonight. You're paying for the call, but jeez."

"Oh yes. Well it occurred to me while they were all shouting that if they were your friends like they were saying, they would have known that you were moving. So when they managed to calm down enough I could hear a thing I said, I refused to tell them anything else. It's none of their business if you don't want it to be. And that Dustin boy said that you were his best friend, right in the same sentence he said he hadn't seen you in a month. But, I wasn't entirely sure if I was wrong about it, so I did promise I would ask you if you wanted me to pass on your information."

"Good job, mom, you finally got back to it. This is why I had you come over here, so you could hear that last part. I should have just asked you. Do you want my mom to give them our number or address or anything?" Robin had rolled her eyes over her mom's rambling, completely unaware she was just as terrible. But then she stared at him, concerned and outraged and protective and sad. God, he didn't know what he'd do without her.

"Did they ask?" Steve said.

"Ask? I don't think a single one of them knows how to ask anything. They certainly shouted a lot of demands. If you don't want me to tell them, I have no complaints about being the villain in this story. After everything you've done for my girl, being there for her before she even told me, and now making sure she's safe from any kind of trouble up there, you're such a perfect - what was the - beard? I think that's what I saw in that article in that magazine. Oh, no, the Zine, I ordered. But even without all that, I'll happily shut the door in their faces every day for a year if that's what you want done."

Steve's next breath stuttered, and that was all Robin needed to see.

"Hang on mom, I'm going to put the phone down, don't hang up, we'll be back." She sat the handset on the couch, then dragged a throw blanket over it to muffle their voices completely.

"You okay there or do I need to make a snap decision about which is going to be our household's vomit bowl?" He pushed her shoulder half-heartedly. "Okay, yeah, we both know it's gonna be the one with the cow on it. But you okay there, Stevie?"

"I'm fine."

"No you aren't."

"I'm fine."

She gasped, "You would lie to your soulmate? To her face?"

"I'm not! I'm fine! I just... I don't know, Robs."

Robin watched for a second as all of the muck of emotions bubbled inside him. Then she, as she always did, understood him.

"You want to say no. You want to tell her not to let them know where we are, but you're also freaking out because the brats come find you whenever It's back."

And because for a second, he desperately hoped that they missed him, or wanted to call so they could apologize for the last months. She didn't need to say that part. He half shrugged, sort of nodded, and bobbed his chin towards the throw blanket.

"You sure, Dingus?"

"Yeah."

"Is it gonna be Hopper or Joyce?" she faux wondered as she grabbed the phone from its prison. "Mom? Hi, back. Yeah, thank you. I'm gonna hand the phone to Steve now."

She didn't move away, but she didn't share the earpiece.

"Hi Mrs Buckley. I guess I -- could I ask a couple questions first?"

"Of course dear. What would you like to know?"

"Did any of them say anything weird or really specific?"

"Like what?"

"Like, about the mall, or last spring, or, bats, or uh, did they say anything about their dungeons and dragons game?"

"No. Why would they?"

Steve forced his shoulders to relax. El said it was done, but four years of it coming back meant he'd never fully trust that as true.

"No reason I guess."

"Well. That Munson boy did ask me about a radio right at the end. After the others stomped back to the driveway. He came back and he seemed - well he asked about a radio. And I said you certainly had a radio in your car, but I think he may have been talking about something else. Is that what you meant?"

"Okay, uh. Yeah. Thank you. I guess."

"So what would you like me to tell them next time I see one of them? If you'd like to take your time about it, you can. They were quite worked up about it, but it's a little ridiculous to act like they were owed something if they didn't even notice you two moving. You knocked over a stop sign with that rental truck."

Steve laughed. Couldn't help it. "I really can't wait, ma'am. They'll be back tomorrow morning to bother you." He gave Robin a look she immediately returned. Even without hearing the other half, she understood how true that was.

"Of course they won't, they have school," Mrs Buckley argued.

"Yeah, just means they'll be at your door even earlier."

"Well that's rude."

"Yeah, that's them. So, um. You can be rude back if you want. Don't, uh, you don't need to answer their questions. If you don't mind that they're not going to take it well."

Mrs Buckley laughed, loud and cackling for a moment, making the phone go staticky. "Oh dear, it would be my absolute pleasure to be rude right back to them. I'm much better at it. Anything else?"

"Yeah, you know Jim Hopper?" The resounding silence promised she was giving him the same judgemental look Robin was. "Sorry, that was dumb. But can you give him our number? Not to share with them, just so he has it. And, funny story about radios, but, the one that -- that that guy asked about is in your hall closet. Top shelf, next to the popcorn tin. Give Hopper that too?"

"Certainly, anything I should tell him, or should I ask to return the phone to my ridiculous child that you're generous enough to live with so I can say good night?"

For some reason, it made him think about the returns box at the store. A handle pulled open, the movie dropped inside, and nothing else needed. No one had to explain why they were giving back their copy of Breakfast Club. They had it for a while, hopefully they enjoyed it, and then when it was done, when they didn't need it anymore, or when it was overdue, when they kept it longer than they should have, costing them more money to keep around than it was worth, when they decided they were done with it, they didn't write a letter and explain why they--

"No. But, just. Tell him its for emergencies or something. Thank you, bye, or, goodnight ma'am, Mrs Buckley, uh, here's Robs. Bye."

He climbed off the couch as he shoved the phone at her, and headed for the window in his yet to be unpacked room. Rob would kill him in his sleep if he had a cigarette, but if he had any, he'd have taken the risk.

The glass was so cold it was painful against his forehead when he leaned into it, and he watched the little flurries of snow on the street kicked up by the wind. They didn't even notice for a few weeks. They'd quit Family Video a week before they left, and he knew the kids watched at least a few every weekend. They must have gone in, multiple times, and just, not noticed. Or not cared.

He wasn't sure which of those was worse.

He wasn't sure why it hurt when he made his peace with it weeks and weeks ago. It hadn't ached so vividly since the fall. Worst of all was the shock of concern for them, thinking they were out on their bikes in the dark and the snow. Then the relief that Eddie drove them. The feeling was huge enough to eclipse anything else until he knew they were safe.

Hadn't seen them in a month, barely seen them before that, and his first instinct was still to drop everything and grabs his keys. He was two hours away, and his brain was itchy to go drive by and check on them. They didn't need him to do that. They didn't want him to.

And based on how his stomach lurched when he heard that they didn't know he'd left, he didn't think it would do him any favors to go back. Hop and Joyce knew how to handle them if they started to do anything too risky, and the kids were practically glued to Eddie's side.

They weren't his to look after.

"Stop staring out the window like your lover is lost on the moors," Robin complained, wrapping him in a hug from behind.

"I have no idea what that means, Robs."

"Good, I'll explain it to you. Come on, lets go, we've got a kitchen to reorganize. I already started stuff for popcorn and hot chocolate. Lets gooooo, you're too heavy for me to carry, hup two."

Steve snorted and let her drag him away.

"I thought we were going to get my room set up, so I wouldn't have to share with you again?"

She gave him that look. That one that was fond and frustrated and sassy as shit. The one that said she wasn't going to let him get away with being dumb, but wasn't going to call him on it.

"It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. You can share with me for a while longer. Now do the hot chocolate, and don't skimp on the whipped cream. We bought that can on sale and its going to go bad any second. Just use all of it. Directly into our mouths if we cant get it balance on the mug. Don't want to waste it, and we deserve it. I'm on popcorn duty, and then we're going to defeat this puzzle, Harrington. We outsmarted the Russians, we can outsmart the dishes!"

Shit. He sniffled as he followed her orders.

He was so damn grateful he still had her.

-----

Next>>

Still don't do tag lists. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[skylinesnsunshines]

pac: july messages -`♡´-

hi everyone! welcome to my first pac <3 today i will be channeling messages on your energy for july. please remember that this is all for entertainment purposes only and energies are subject to change, so if it doesn't resonate then it might not be the pile or reading for you. also remember that this is a general reading, so I'm channelling the energy of the collective rather than a specific individual. if you're after a personal reading click here to look at my prices and message me for details. without further ado! let's get started.

photo credits go to pinterest, i don't own any of these photos

pile 1 ~ knight of wands, 6 of wands rx, justice, hanged man rx

hello my pile 1's! i feel such a light energy for you all. immediately i channelled that you've successfully overcome a situation that has caused you anguish. it could have been a major situation/change for you, but you could feel like there are other things to worry about so you brush it off. spirit wants me to remind you to celebrate the small wins, and enjoy a victory while you can. life will always bring you unexpected events that can alter your focus, so staying in the present and reminding yourself to give yourself a pat on the back is necessary (you've come so far!). now, i feel like you have a lot of ideas and visions but you don't necessarily know the steps to achieve them. you might not enjoy planning due to you being easily overwhelmed, and you can even be a person who enjoys "winging it" as i'm hearing the phrase "fuck it we ball" LMAO. now your spontaneity and creativity are definitely something to be proud of, however, spirit's telling me to encourage you to break down your ideas and have them be more digestible so you can plan accordingly. i see that you have all the tools for success within yourself, but you need to be a bit more calculated in your journey to avoid burnout. remember to invite balance in your daily life, and remember that rest is as important as movement. you might feel frustration towards plans that don't come to fruition, but just remember that everything that is meant for you won't ever pass you. time is a construct and every person's timing is different, so please stop comparing yourself to others. learn to let your emotions flow and listen to your body, as i feel that some of you may have a tendency to pick yourself up and brush it off when met with failure. while your resilience is commendable, remember that you are not a robot and you are always allowed to sit in your sorrows and mourn. you are such a light in this world my pile 1's, and your resilience often inspires others to continue going on in life as well. remember that every experience is a learning lesson, and not everything is so black/white. you got this my superstars! remember who you are and the power you hold <3

channelled song: i feel good - pink sweat$

oracle cards: bridge - successfully overcoming a problem, knot - unsuccessful plans, unicorn - using your intuition to make beneficial changes

pile 2 ~ queen of swords, 8 of pentacles, page of cups rx, death

hello my pile 2's! you seem to be focusing on your grind and have a goal that you are working toward to complete by the end of the year. i just wanna say that you may be experiencing a change emerging within yourself, whether that'd be physical or mental. your aura seems to be changing and that stems from how you present and carry yourself. i hear the word "tunnel vision" which tells me that you are zoning in on a certain skill that will bring you a lot of emotional fulfilment. i can also see that some of you may be focusing on improving your confidence which will help you realise your worth and be more cutthroat of your time and energy. you are taking back your power and realising that you are the architect of your own life, and no one can take that away from you. you are the go-getters, trailblazers and leaders who are always learning and bettering yourself which is so amazing to see. just know that the more you work on yourself and understand your soul, you will automatically attract others who will be able to reciprocate your energy and have the same motivation for growth as you. love could be on the cards as well, but i don't see anything major as i feel like you want to fall in love with yourself first. i feel a sense of priority when it comes to your well-being, and that anyone who would want to be a part of your life needs to be an addition as you are already whole. not everybody is worth your time my pile 2's, and saving your energy for those who you prioritise is what matters the most <3

channelled song: aura - got7

oracle cards: target - a goal-oriented person, vase - secret admirer, horse - a short journey

pile 3 ~ page of wands, 3 of cups, 7 of wands rx, 8 of cups rx

hello pile 3's! before i even pulled the cards, i envisioned that this upcoming month may be one of celebration for you! i see some of you graduating or entering a new job or school that will aid in your growth (congratulations angels!). i feel like july could be a social month for you, i see that you could be entering a new environment that could bring you into a new friend group. i feel like you are embarking on a journey (wether that'd be physical or mental), and you are feeling unprepared yet excited. i see an image of someone carrying a bindle (?) and having a bittersweet feeling of moving on. some of you might have been reluctant to move on from a place or a person, but in your heart, you know that it's right for you. you are ready for this and you are prepared! don't sweat the small stuff. in the song i channelled a lyric that goes "just a little something that i think i deserve" and i feel that it could resonate with some of you. remember that you are deserving of great things and you are allowed to seek other experiences if you feel that your current circumstances do not aid you in your growth. in your new environment, you might encounter people who don't see eye to eye with you, and that's okay as spirit encourages you to stay true to yourself and not change for anyone. you've got a strong sense of self and you know yourself better than anyone, so don't feel the need to conform to "fit in" as you will attract someone like-minded that you will get along with. your energy is infectious, and you are destined to seek experiences that encourage you from breaking free of being a big fish in a small pond. i'm excited for you my pile 3's! you got this <3

channelled song: cake and candy - rupaul

oracle cards: bull - do not back down from opposition. show strength and fortitude, horse - short journey, chair filled - someone new is entering your life

so that’s it for the reading! let me know if you have any feedback, questions or requests! my askbox is always open for a chat as well <3 sending you love and light always :) hope you enjoyed!

[avocadorablepirate]

What Do We Call This? - 02

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Pairing: Trafalgar Law x fem!reader

Summary: On a quest to find what you've been looking for, you acquire the help of the Straw Hat pirates, who've agreed to let you temporarily join them. There are however many challenges that come along with your temporary recruitment - an alliance with a certain Trafalgar Law being one of them.

Word Count: 2.1K

Warnings: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn, mild swearing, the occasional OP spoiler

A/N: Okay, not gonna lie, this chapter turned out better than I expected it to be, so I hope you like it too. Also, I still don't know what to call this =⁠_⁠=.

In addition, I would just like to state that while the reader does have her own story, a large portion of the chapters won't really dive into it; maybe a flashback here and there and brief mentions of it. It will obviously be brought up later on, but this series will kinda focus more on how she builds her relationship with Law.

—⁠☆✿☆—⁠

Things hadn't changed much since the captain of the Heart Pirates and the two samurai had come on board - the chaos still the same. You would even say things had become far more chaotic. The Heart Pirate however, seemed to have grown frustrated with the group in less than a days time, confining himself to the library whenever he could. You would only see him for breakfast, lunch and dinner and even then he would leave as soon as he was done.

The rest of the crew seem to see him more often; they always know what he's doing. Then again, he doesn't really need to interact with me since his alliance is with the Straw Hats, not me, you try to reason with your own thoughts as you help Sanji in the kitchen. Since you had boarded the Sunny you spent most of your time in the kitchen with Sanji, helping him with the daily meal prep. Although, he would insist that your presence was all the help he needed, and while others may have found his constant declarations of love tiresome, you found it quite entertaining. Alternatively, you would spend your time with Nami and Robin, learning cartography and studying about past civilizations. It was under the pretext of expanding your knowledge, but you had a slight personal interest in the subjects as well, which Nami and Robin had caught on to.

"(Y/N)," the voice of the ship's doctor snaps you out of your thoughts, and you turn from the kitchen counter, to see him sticking his head out from behind the door. You smile fondly at Chopper; the little reindeer had melted your heart the minute you had laid eyes on him, and just like Robin you couldn't help but soften any time he spoke to you.

"Do you want me to change your bandages now?" Chopper asks, as he looks from you to your arm.

"Oh right! I'll come right away," you say, remembering that earlier on in the day you had asked Chopper whether he could help you change your bandages. You place the knife that you were using on the counter and follow Chopper to the infirmary, Sanji crying out for you to stay as you leave the kitchen.

"How does it feel?" Chopper asks as you seat yourself on the bed while he rummages around looking for some gauze wrap.

"A lot better! The medication definitely helped."

Chopper seats himself infront of you, and he helps you remove the bandage that you had already started to take off. He then asks you to outstretch your arm so that he can examine it.

"Thanks for doing this Chopper. If it had been my left arm instead I wouldn't have had to ask you for your help," you try to distract him from inspecting your arm for too long, and pick up the gauze, attempting to wrap it around your arm yourself.

"I'm glad I can help," Chopper says as he takes the roll from you to wrap it for you instead. Just then the door to the infirmary bursts open, and you're startled not by the noise but by the person standing on the other side. Law leans against the door frame as he assess the situation, and his eyes once again linger on your right arm.

What is he doing here?

"What happened to her arm?" Law asks Chopper, his eyes now focusing on the reindeer who's as surprised as you are.

"Oh, (Y/N) tripped while everyone was running from that gas and sprained her arm," Chopper says, returning to his task of wrapping the gauze around your arm.

Truth be told, you hadn't been completely honest when you had told the Straw Hats about your devil fruit powers. You had told them that your powers allowed you to manipulate others' muscles and internal organs, granting you the ability to both damage and heal others, and that was the truth. However, what you had chosen to leave out was the repercussions you suffered on using your power - be it healing or inflicting injury onto someone, you would suffer damages to the same organ or muscle to a more severe extent. Why had you not told the Straw Hats about this? You felt indebted to them. They had allowed you onto their ship despite the fact that on your first encounter you had been tasked with the job of killing them, but they had chosen to forgive and forget and you would always be grateful to them for it. So, you didn't want then to feel guilty any time they asked you to help them with their injuries.

"Tripped?" Law says, but it sounds more like a question, and you offer him a brief smile as he eyes you skeptically.

"Yes, I tripped," you firmly state, in hopes of putting an end to this discussion.

"Oh Law, (Y/N) is also a devil fruit user," Chopper says, going on to explain how your powers work, or at least how he was told they work. Through the whole explanation you can feel Law's eyes on you, and you feel uncomfortable under his gaze, it's almost like he's looking right into you and figuring out every small detail about you.

"But her powers don't allow her to heal herself, which isn't great considering how clumsy she is," Chopper teases, and you let out a small chuckle. So far, you had made all the damage you had taken look like accidents, covering them up with fibs about tripping over your own feet or rolling off your bed.

Law doesn't say anything in response to Chopper's monologue, instead approaching you with a sense of purpose. Before you can even protest he has his blue orb surrounding you, holding his sword in front of you.

"Scan."

"Oye Law what are you doing!?" Chopper yells, as he jumps out of his seat to come between you and Law. After what had happened with the kids in Punk Hazard, Chopper had become slightly wary of Law's powers. He knew he wouldn't hurt you, but his ability still perturbed the reindeer.

The blue orb faded and Law looked from you to Chopper, "tripping, shouldn't have caused such severe damage to her muscle," he says to Chopper while taking your arm in his hands to examine it himself.

You pull away from him almost immediately, the slight jerk causing you to grimace at the pain. "It was a hard fall," you say, as you hastily get up and walk to the door.

"I need to get back to the kitchen and help Sanji. Thanks for the help Chopper." You offer him a smile and quickly walk out of the infirmary before either of the two can say anything, leaving behind one doctor puzzled and the other intrigued.

Shit, I'll have to be more cautious now that he's around.

_______________________________________________

In an attempt to be more cautious you had decided avoiding Law would be the best option, which you thought would be easy considering he spent most of his time in the library. But now he seemed to be everywhere you were. If you were in the kitchen helping Sanji, he would be there. If you were cleaning the deck, he would be there. And all he did was scrutinize you, no words were exchanged, just him staring which made it all the more frustrating. The only time you were free from him was when you were on the night watch - away in the crow's nest with one of the Straw Hats to keep you company - just like tonight, except your lookout partner hadn't shown up yet. It had been an hour and no one had come, and the lack of constant conversing was making you drowsy.

It's the light tapping against the floorboard of the deck below you that perks you up, and you peep your head through the window to call out your night watch partner for being late.

"Luffy it's been an hour! What took you so lon-," you cut yourself off when from the corner of your eye you see a faint blue light appear in the room, and you turn around immediately, pulling out the knife that you had secured around your waist at all times.

You relax when you realise that it's just Law. But, then you realise it's Law.

"Sorry, I was reading something and didn't notice the time," Law's words don't sound like much of an apology with how he says it in a monotonous tone, but it doesn't phase you. You're more bothered by the fact that he's here instead of Luffy, and he senses it.

"Straw Hat-ya argued that I need to help the crew. So, he made me take his shift."

You roll your eyes as you take your previous place on the floor. You had been on the Sunny long enough to know that Luffy's incessant nagging could make people give in to any of his requests, but you hadn't expected Law to fall victim to it too.

You take the book from beside you, Forgotten Islands, and pick up from where you had left off. However, you find it hard to concentrate with the way Law's staring.

"Maybe you should keep watch from the deck."

"How do your powers work?" he asks, completely ignoring your suggestion.

"What?" you ask, surprised by the sudden question.

"Your devil fruit, how does it work?"

"Chopper told you - I can manipulate the muscles and organs of others," you say, giving him the short answer, and hoping that he would take a hint and realise that you didn't want to dive into the semantics.

"How?"

Clearly he didn't.

"When it comes to healing I need to place my hand over the area where the organ or muscle is, focus on it and channel my energy towards it to get the desired result. When attacking it's easier, I need to concentrate on my opponent, visualise the muscle or organ, and use hand gestures and verbal commands to cause damage," you say, as you set your book down, waiting for the inflow of questions that you were sure were to follow.

"So with those children on Punk Hazard, you couldn't heal them?" Law now sits across from you, arms folded over his chest and head bent down, Kikoku placed against the wall beside him.

"My power doesn't allow me to physically remove damaged parts or remove infections from those parts, I can only repair them. So, curing something like a disease that affects a person's genetic predisposition is impossible."

"And there are no side effects?"

"No, I just feel drowsy," you're quick to respond, and Law looks at you with a hint of suspicion. You can see the wheels turning in his head as he tries to think of what to ask next, but you've decided you don't want to give out any more information.

"Enough about me. Why are you so keen on taking down Doflamingo? He's not a Yonko, and I don't see how this whole S.M.I.L.E thing affects you." There's a genuine curiosity behind your question, although in the back of your mind you have a vague idea of what his answer might be.

"Fixing past mistakes," Law says, his lips contorting into a small sinister smile.

"What mistakes?"

"Someone died because they were protecting me from Doflamingo."

"That's not your fault. He chose to protect you," you say with such conviction, Law's surprised by how you sound so sure of yourself. In all honesty, he doesn't even know why he's telling you all of this, he's not one to readily open up about his past.

"And now I'm repaying the favour."

"Doflamingo isn't just some pirate. You could get yourself killed in the process."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take." He says it so nonchalantly, it annoys you how little he seems to care for his own wellbeing.

"If I had put my life on the line for someone, I wouldn't want that someone to die at the hands of the same person I was trying to protect them from." You're trying to reason with him, but you can't stop yourself from glowering.

"I guess you and I have different morals then," he says as he looks up at you with a scowl of his own. Frankly, he doesn't know why you seem to care so much for someone you just met, and it irks him that you do.

"I guess so."

You let out a scoff as you get up from your seat on the floor and walk to the ladder that is used to enter and exit the observation deck. Another second in this room would only swell your frustration towards the pirate.

"I'll keep watch from the deck. Call me if you need anything," and you climb down the ladder without waiting for Law to say anything.

Your earlier decision to stay clear of Law would have to be scrapped. If he was ready to get himself killed in Dressrosa, you would have to make sure he didn't.

_______________________________________________

A/N: I don't know whether to make a taglist or not, so if you do want to be tagged just let me know.

[ddarker-dreams]

I’ve seen many fic writers exist literally everywhere on the scale of how much/how little scaramouche would praise his partner (all the way from ‘never says a nice thing ever’ to ‘begrudgingly says sweet things’ and everything in between) and as one of the sacred scholars of the puppet boy, where do you think he falls on that scale? What if his s/o outright asked him to be nicer to them?

why does this actually feel like such a difficult question AAAAAAAA i could really see both arguments???

scaramouche is a funky little fella. he's full of bitterness, spite, and everything not nice. his insistence on denying himself any meaningful connections is something he prides himself on. self-sustainability spares him further hurt, so it's his default approach. when you, terribly stubborn creature you are, squirm your way past his fortified defenses, he starts to panic. why are you here. how'd you get in. why doesn't he want to throw you out. he doesn't want you to stay either, he thinks. who knows what damage you'll cause with your revolting empathy and naïve care. ew.

for that reason, you're subjected to his unfiltered scorn. but, there's an upside! you haven't been disintegrated, thrown into a dungeon, and your limbs remain intact. all promising signs.

at a certain point, he comes to begrudgingly accept the thorn in his side that is you. his threats become less severe (and rarely directed at you, those in your closest circles have the privilege now). loving him is a process. a process that goes as smoothly as trying to give a hissing, bristling cat a bath.

he's always going to be blunt and tactless. fortunately, that honesty extends past colorful insults. his compliments begin as curt acknowledgment in the areas you excel at. go easy on him, he's trying his best for you, and that alone is nothing short of a miracle. it comes easier to him after he realizes that saying something nice about you... isn't so bad. you get this gleam in your eye, like you hold his opinion in high regard (which you should!) and that realization makes him feel weird. warm. content. he could make you cry but your smile isn't so bad, he supposes.

it's a long, convoluted experience that would test the patience of any saint. falling in love for the first time isn't easy. he can be 'nice' (he says the word like it's a personal insult) but that means you have to take responsibility. you've made a lovesick fool of him and he's not going anywhere anytime soon. or, ever, to be precise. so, as recompense for infecting him with your gross, human sentimentality, he won't be a lover who "croons nauseating platitudes" (direct quote).

however, the way he looks at you communicates everything his mouth never could.

[curio-queries]

ARE YOU SURE?!

Episode 4 production Notes

Again, I genuinely didn't think I'd have anything to say at this point about this episode. I had such a good time the first time I watched it, just smiling the whole way through. There is one thing that did stick in my brain a little bit though so here I am again with another post.

Episode Break Points

We honestly can't be making any final conclusions at this point but there is starting to emerge a picture of how the production team approached the development of this show as an episodic release. The question that was rattling around my brain after watching episode 4 was how they are choosing their cut points between episodes. We really only have three data points right now which is not enough to definitively identify their intent but it does start to paint the picture a little bit. Sometimes, the break point is beyond obvious, like cutting ep.2 at the end of the USA trip. But when there's not a definitive line, a choice has to be made when to bring one episode to a close and start another.

Some shows use the changing of the day as a break point but that's not necessarily always the best choice to make for the narrative of the show. For example, the break between eps 1 and 2 is in the morning after JK has his coffee and makes the stone tower. This better served the momentum of the episode and wrapped up the story beat of JM's rough night. Ep 2 then starts on a high note with JK's motorbike ride. In my opinion, this was an excellent choice as we close ep.1 feeling all cozy and ep.2 begins with a little bit of excitement.

A Look Back

So why am I bringing this up now? It's because I was so confused as the choice of when to break these two episodes. I don't know if I've decided if it was good/bad/somewhere-in-between but I absolutely was not expecting Episode 4 to start the way it did. Ep 3 ends at the Go Karts and feels like a complete story beat. While ep 4 starts with the drive to the Omakase.

To me, it feels like we're picking up on the last remains of the previous episode and not starting a new section. Which is honestly, kind of counterintuitive. Why would it feel like that? They're literally on their way to the next activity. I suspect it has more to do with the tonal momentum. The guys are still coming down from all of the energy they expended from Rock Climbing and racing and are having a well-deserved relaxing drive. Even the brief moments we see of JK on the motorbike are quite chill. (mostly because there's not really a great way to get action footage on a bike in the dark lol).

So...to see if I could support my suspicion, or if I was just bringing something else into my viewing experience, I decided to rewatch the whole series so far and rank every story beat on a scale for how energetic/intense I felt the narrative was supporting.

A couple of notes before you judge my rankings:

This data is the very definition of subjective. if I redid this same exercise even the next day, I'm sure I would disagree with myself on certain rankings so you certainly don't have to agree with my rankings.

If a storybeat had a noticeable tonal shift, I entered it twice and included both rankings. If it just varied a bit, I entered a ranking more representative of the scene as a whole.

This won't be reflective of the time occupied by each story beat. Some sections are longer than others but with sustained energy so it doesn't translate in this visual representation how much of an impact on the overall tone of the episode any one of these are.

I also added a star at the end of each episode of my median scores. I feel that this was a better representation of the overall tone of each episode rather than an average but that's just my personal view on this teeny dataset. Please don't come for me analytics folks! This is just a post for funzies, not proper analysis!

So What?

The point was curious about is in the gap between eps 3 & 4. Everywhere else there's a pretty clear shift in the start and end of the energy but that gap looks like it was just a step that was missed in what could have been a continual episode.

Here are the runtimes of each episode so far:

USA: 56 min

USA: 72 Min

Jeju: 56 min

Jeju: 70 min

I don't have any conclusions about why it was done this way other than they felt the tonal break was the sacrifice for keeping the Omakase story line in tact. Which honestly, I agree. There would have been time to include the drive in the previous episode but it would have left us on an unfinished storybeat. This is one of the reasons that we never get footage of the members return trip from their travel shows. Bon Voyage ends every episode with the members remarking on the trip overall. Even though we know they have to return home, we don't see it because that would start to build energy for whatever they're doing next and not the story of their trip.

Even in ITS1 when the members do return home in the middle, we see them packing up and getting in the cars but the episode ends before they really start traveling. (Actually it ends before they even let Jin in the car so they're definitely not on their way yet!)

Commercials?

I have a question for anyone that's watching this with ads. I don't really watch streaming content so I'm curious, do the ad breaks just randomly occur? Or does it seem like they're intentionally scheduled? Building story breaks for commercials was a huge focus of legacy tv and I'd be interested to learn more about how streaming services are incorporating it (not enough to not have commercials though, I get insta-rage when the content I'm consuming is interrupted lol). I vaguely remember getting frustrated when I was attempting to watch something at my parent's over the holidays but I don't recall if it seemed structured or not.

That's it. That's all I've got to say right now. We're definitely getting a lot more to the story of this show and I'm absolutely loving it. I'm going to be away for a bit next week and I honestly don't know when I'll fit in watching episode 5 but I'm very much looking forward to it!

If you've seen this post and are interested in some more of my thoughts on Are You Sure, here's a link to my AYS MasterList. Still can't believe I've rambled so much about this show but it's been fun! Thanks to everyone that's been rambling with me!

[hackfurs]

As a fellow undies lover, what do you like about them?

I hope you're ready for this essay, anon. I have many, many thoughts on underwear as a kink of mine.

I have always been interested in the "less is more" or "use your imagination" approach to depicting sexy things. Vague shapes, suggestions, an enticing phantom of what could be. Your thoughts get to run wild as you construct a form from lines and curves that might become reality if you play your cards right.

As an added bonus to the imagination aspect, having that sort of barrier between yourself and the subject of your attraction being fully nude adds a level of casualness to an encounter. I sometimes feel like there's a lot of pressure when you share a sexually contextualized space with someone who is naked. It makes me feel like I need to perform more and be very vocal about how much I find them attractive because the other person is risking more by being vulnerable like that with me. In that sense, underwear is a metaphorical suit of armor that still invokes the essence of nudity and sexiness without fully encapsulating all the unspoken rules and expectations of being naked.

Now that we've got some psychological and emotional aspects out of the way, let's discuss the physical.

First of all, there's nothing quite like seeing the elastic bands of underwear poking out from a pair of jeans when someone lifts up their arms or bends over. It practically teases me, and it's often the first thing that gets me into the mood when I'm with someone.

While we're on the topic of elastic bands, one of my favorite details about wearing underwear is when those bands squish or displace body fat and make little indents into someone's thigh's, waist, or even ass if it's a jockstrap. It's like they're waving a flag at me saying "Look how soft and squishy I am! I bet you want to squish it too!" And they're right. I really, really do. Another thing about elastic bands is the tactile feel they provide when you get your hands on them. Slipping your thumbs inside the band around the hips and feeling the pressure against them. Conversely, there's the way that underwear falls away slightly at the small of someone's back, letting you slip your hand inside with little resistance. The way certain body parts may push or strain against the waist band before springing free. It's all about pressure and tension here. There's another aspect that I adore about underwear, and this is something that people who are familiar with my art won't find surprising: seams. The lines holding it all together. Beyond their practical use in the construction of garments, I enjoy seams because they help highlight or emphasize the natural curves on someone's body. Inner thighs and butts are often accented by these extra details that help give you a sense of weight and curvature. This is also why I often include dual-toned articles of clothing where the inner and outer portions of sleeves, legs, etc. are different colors. This applies especially for the butts of characters. I always include a white butt on my characters to make sure that the curve is as noticeable as possible.

And finally, here's the aspect that pushes me a little closer into "freak" territory: my relationship to underwear is very scent oriented. I love being able to bury my face in someone's underwear, preferably while they're wearing it (but it's still good on their own, especially if their owner's scent is still present). It's that mix of musk, sweat, and fabric with a hint of whatever detergent they were last washed in. There's just something about it that lights my brain on fire. As you can see, I am very... enthusiastic about underwear. Hopefully, this answers your question, as well as explain why my body of work is... like that. 🩲

[honeypipin]

Pirate Captain König: Pt. 2

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Disclaimer: some vulgar words, and König just loves touching you, don't you love being his new fidget toy?!

---------------------------------

After being paraded onto his ship by König and his men, being tied to his bed and then left to your own devices, this was certainly not the worst outcome, but still. Almost getting martyred was not going great.

It's not even a comfortable bed, just enough to keep you warm and let you sleep for the night, and the pillow is way too tough. You miss your goose feather pillows.

Your peace and quiet is soon disturbed, as a booming laughter enters the room, a certain captain.

You glare at him.

"What's with the sour look, Schatzi? Did you miss me?"

Your glare morphs into a scowl, however this only seems to amuse the captain further. He sits down next to you, and pats his lap.

You try to resist him, but when he pulls you into his lap, there isn't much you can do but cling to him.

"Isn't that better?"

"I prefer the bed."

"Then you'll love getting fucked on it."

"Do you have to say those things!?"

"Yes."

You don't really know what to say to that, so you just look away and allow him to fidget with your hair.

"...could you please untie me?"

"..." He pauses, and thinks about it.

"Um, hello?"

"When you behave."

"What?"

He ignores you??? Dickhead. Carries on playing with your hair, until he starts to move his hands towards your hips, he thumbs your sides.

He still says nothing. Well, someone has to break the silence.

"What's with the mask?"

"...long story"

"Well you did kidnap me, so I would have no choice but to listen."

"..."

He won't look you in the eyes, instead just massaging your hips. Now, you'd be lying if you said it wasn't relaxing, but also, how is he saying he's going to fuck you on his bed, but now won't look you in the eye? Are you having a laugh?!

You sighed and looked at him, christ, the days at sea were not good for his sleep, were they?

"Alright, I get it, sensitive subject."

He finally looks you in the eyes, sort of apprehensively, is he... nervous? Maybe he's uncomfortable, good, he deserves it.

But... his eyes!!! Why are they so cute? Why is he giving you puppy eyes right now? Why are they so hurt? Why do you just want to squish his face? Is this what the girls in your village meant by loving pathetic men? You understood it now, that's for sure.

"So um... you're pirate."

"Yes."

"Captain?"

"Correct."

"Good for you."

...

This is just awkward. Don't really know what you expected, but why is your kidnapper/pirate captain so awkward? He just keeps... touching you? Its like he's in a trance.

He just stares at you, eyes wide in facination, has it been that long since he's held someone close?

"Captain König... are you alright?"

Since when did he have a gun in his pockets?

[rosewine-5]

Eyes Never Lie: Part IV

gif made by nowadays

summary: Being friends with Coriolanus for a long time lets you what drives him to succeed and survive. You've also gained the insight to guess how he's feeling or what he's about to say just by the expression on his face. But only things that you could never decipher were the thoughts behind his eyes.

A.N: I’m not dead! Had a health emergency so that's why this is late (don't hate me), but part 4 is finally here!

word count: 4.9k

divider made by firefly-graphics

Felix Ravinstill was dead.

You went by the hospital to check on him, only to hear his ventilator sound off the time of his death, sunrise on the last day of the 11th Hunger Games. You watched from a distance as his mother and father held themselves as they cried over the loss of their son, and you walked away, saddened by the death of a friend; the death toll of dead or scarred friends now rising to 3.

These were friends you had known since childhood, people you had grown up together with, people who are now dead and scarred, lives forever changed in the blink of an eye. You were walking out of the room when you were suddenly pushed into a bathroom. Your hand grabbed the sleeve of the person and pulled them off of you. You were met with yellow eyes, black hair, and a long turtleneck shirt. Your mouth fell open as you recognized the person who pulled you into the room.

“Clemmie?” you whispered and wrapped your arms around her. She hugged you back as you let a tear fall. “Why won't you visit me?” she asked, her tone having an angry edge to it. “Gaul told us you had an infectious flu.” You said, looking at her sickly appearance. “She's a liar, that snake changed me. I haven't gotten anyone sick.” she seethed, and you noticed she would hiss as her tongue would twitch with her body. Her eyes then scanned you, “You need to stay away from her, she's gonna get you killed, she already wants me dead.”

She then added to her sentence, “Don’t let her poison get to you, she wants us to be like her test!” Clemensia started to hiss as she held your arms, prompting the hospital staff to open the door, catching you two. One of them grabbed, holding one of her arms tight as another did the same.

“Watch! Her games are gonna get us all a free ticket to the next life!” Clemensia yelled before a staffer pricked her with a needle, and she went limp. Before she was dragged into another room, her shirt rode up, revealing the bottom of her torso, and a batch of scales festering in the middle.

The walk to the academy made your mind race. Your thoughts drifted to Lucy Gray, who was hopefully still alive. She has a low chance of making it out alive, that you knew. She could charm a crowd bit when it came to physical strength… yeah. Walking into the lab, you made yourself a promise: If there was any way you could help her in the games, rules be damned, you would do it. Gual was already waiting for you.

“take it you know about Ravinstill’s son?” She asked, to which you nodded in response. “Death, a certain subject you’ve become friends with these last few days.” Dr. Gaul said before leading you to a stack of cages, starting a long day of learning about her creations and how they were made.

You caught glimpses of the games, only seeing the death of Lucy’s fellow tribute, Jessup, another innocent life claimed by the games. While you were writing in your notepad, you heard a scream on the screen that broke your focus. Reaper was holding Dill in his arms, blood streaming out of her nose. She was dead. “Her illness finally took over.” you said to yourself, noticing Gaul’s eyes glued to the screen, a curious look on her face. In a turn of events, starts to line the dead tributes up in a line. This broke your focus, making you look at what he was doing.

The most shocking part came when he tore the capitol flag down from the arena, making you stand up. As he laid the flag over the fallen tributes, Sejanus’ words came into your mind. They didn't deserve this. In the corner of your eye, you saw Dr. Gaul go to a desk in front of a camera. “Start the broadcast.” She said to one of her other assistants. Reaper's words were soon cut off by Dr. Gaul.

“Capitol citizens, I’m afraid I must interrupt our Games to announce a tragic loss, one that affects us all. Felix Ravinstill, son of our beloved president, has this morning succumbed to his injuries sustained in the rebel bombing.” A few of the lab assistants gasped at the news as you turned towards Gaul, watching her break the news to Panem.

“Out there in the districts, they will be celebrating this young boy’s death as a triumph. I will not allow my Games to give our enemy such a victory. I swear to you, here and now, before the sun goes down tonight, a rainbow of destruction will engulf our arena. Even if it means there’s to be no victor in these Games.” And with that, she cut the feed.

Your mouth fell open, “You did that to cut the tribute off.” She looked at you with a cold stare, “Just one more rebel to kill.” You saw the lab assistants start to cage up the snakes, and you watched the colorful creatures of death go into a cylinder and be pushed outside, you turned and saw Coriolanus walking towards you. He was looking between you and the tank, a concerned look on his face.

He was holding his handkerchief in his hand and put it in your hand. “It holds her scent, please.” Coriolanus begged. The memory of Dr. Gaul making you retrieve the paper came back to you: the snakes didn't bite you, so they won't harm Lucy Gray. You nodded and walked to the tank, sliding it between the slot in just as it was lifted off. He gave you a grateful smile as he walked off. You walked out and saw Dr. Gaul with her back turned to you, laughing to herself, “Go watch the finale, my rose,” she said, now turning to you, “Say your silent goodbyes to your friend.”

You speedwalked into the room, finding Tigris, and sat next to her. She gripped your hand as your eyes were glued to the screen, praying the handkerchief trick worked. You watched as the youngest tribute, Wovey, walked towards the tank, not knowing it would be the last thing she saw. Soon the snakes broke the tank, and covered Wovey, charging towards the tributes.

“Not candy! Down goes Wovey.” Lucky Flickerman said and continued to announce the death of all the tributes until it all got to Lucy. You looked between the screen and Coriolanus. The snakes weren’t charging towards her, now slowly creeping. “It worked.” You said to yourself, letting out a sigh of relief. “She’s won, let her out.” Corio said. “Afraid that’s not your call to make, Mr. Snow.” Lucky Flickerman said and nodded to Dr. Gaul.

You suddenly heard Lucy start to sing, trying to calm the snakes. The way her voice took the room over, you could only imagine what her voice was doing to the other viewers. Between the snakes wrapping around her dress and her powerful voice, tears started to form in your eyes. By the end of her song, you could only hear the sound of her humming and your breath. Coriolanus now turned to Dr. Gaul, “Dr. Gaul, please, get her out.” He shouted. Tigris and you shared a brief look before you both yelled “Get her out!”

Soon the room started to fill with the refrain “Let her out” while looking at Dr. Gaul. She raised her hand, silencing the students who waiting for her answer. With a pointed look at you, she turned to a person next to her and said, “Let her out.” You didn't even hear Flickerman’s words as you hugged Tigris and she held you. Your classmates began to walk towards Coriolanus while you stayed by Tigris. “The games are as I predicted!” Lucky Flickerman shouted, tearing up his paper and releasing doves from his hands.

Amateur magician my ass.

Eventually, he broke through the crowd and found you two in the middle of the group, Tigris coming up and holding him first. After a moment, he came to you and you enveloped him into a hug. “You did it.” you whispered to him, feeling his hands squeeze you. The games were over, Coriolanus had won, and all would be well.

That afternoon, you were finishing up writing down notes of formulas Dr. Gaul assigned to you when Dean Highbottom walked in, “I assume your friend is ecstatic he won the games, as he should be.” You turned to him, taking in his tone of speech. “I find it strange, this relationship between you and Snow,” he said, “coming so close while only meeting in the Academy even though you both grew up close together, did you not?” You nodded in response, “We had mutual friends, we knew about each other, but didn't cross paths until the first day.”

“It’s been nice seeing you two help each other as best you could these years,” Highbottom said, “but I’m afraid it's come to an end, dear one.” For a second you couldn't speak, but you leaned forward. “It appears your friend slipped his songbird a compact mirror full of rat poison, assisting the kills of that sickly tribute as well as another,” Dean Highbottom said, making your blood run cold, “And a handkerchief with his father’s initials was found in the bottom of the snake bin, saving his tributes life in the end.”

You covered your mouth and cursed, “Goddamit Coryo.” you whispered to yourself, but you pulled yourself together. “So now what happens to the prize, who wins?” you asked, looking him in the eyes. “Well, as I said, cheating will be punished. Being a peacekeeper will be one suited for him I assume. As for the winner of the Hunger Games, I'm still deciding on that one.” he said, standing beside you. “In some ways, I say the viewers for having a show. In other ways, I say his songbird is a winner, she gets to live after all. But I would also say you as well.” Highbottom stated.

Now you were confused, “How do I win?” He shrugged, “You got the experience of the games, up close and personal. You, a capitol student, are now an apprentice to the Gamemaker of the Hunger Games, a survivor of a capitol bombing, and top of your class, why aren't you anything but a victor of these games?” Dean Highbottom asked. “Come on, you didn't think the public forgot your little act in the zoo already, apprentice? You made a little name for yourself without even realizing it,” He chuckled as he looked up at you, “I congratulate you.”

“For what?” you asked, looking at him. “Surviving Snow, and his games.” Highbottom said, looking past you and at Dr. Gaul who entered the room. “Why would I have to survive him?” you asked, but he shook his head. “Later, apprentice, your teacher calls.” he said, and walked out the same way he came. Dr. Gaul approached while carrying a clipboard, a teasing smirk on her face, “Death’s resounding bell tolls once more, the number of friends lost rises to four.” She then looked up, “One last thing, the snakes are getting a bit much for the rest of my assistants, help them out for me.”

You had gotten used to her random “side quest” as you called them, so you went out of the door, missing the cold and hard stare she gave you. When you approached the arena, you looked for the rest of the people.

Why was the arena empty?

That was when you heard it, the slither of snakes coming from all corners of the arena. “No…” you said to yourself, seeing snakes come from all the crevices of the arenas. You let out a scream and backed into a barrier. You began to climb the debris, ironically ending up in the same area Lucy Gray did. As the snakes wrapped around your legs, you held your breath, knowing it would be your last. You kneeled on the ground, letting your last moments of life looking at the sunset. Surprisingly, they only wrapped around your body but made no effort to harm you.

You kneeled there and watched as they swarmed your body, making a rainbow blanket over your body. For some reason, you laughed at the revelation of the handkerchief not only saving Lucy Gray but you as well. “I had a feeling my theory was correct.” You heard the voice of Dr. Gaul say. You looked at the camera pointing at you and sighed, “You knew I helped?” “I had a hunch, little rose, and I’m usually right about a lot of things.” She chuckled. “So now what, you gonna turn me over to Highbottom, turn me into an Avox?” You seethed, now having a rush of anger. “And let the newest gem of Panem go to waste, I’m not that cruel. The fact loverboy is going to the districts as a peacekeeper is punishment enough for you.” Dr. Gaul chuckled.

“No child, you shall go to 12, have a little vacation away from home.” She said as you slowly stood up, the snakes still all around you. “And do what, just stay there spinning the story to have me a permanent resident for cheating?” You shouted, looking at the camera. “No, you shall adapt. Pack a simple bag.” Dr. Gaul said, “And you shall see how blessed you were to prosper and grow in the Capitol, not in the districts like the snake you saved.” And fine the camera’s red light turned off. You sighed and slowly walked out of the arena, the snakes, surprisingly letting you move. You walked home as if you were marching in a funeral procession.

You hit the bed cried yourself to sleep, and packed your bag in the morning. Dr. Gaul made up the perfect fabricated story to your parents, and you didn’t protest, the fear of her ratting you out shutting you up. You got dressed, put your jacket on and you were on a train to the districts that early morning. The train ride might as well have been one to hell. With each tree going past you was only a reminder of being far away from home. You held your necklace in your hand, watching the greenery of the land pass you by.

When the train stopped, your face contoured into one of emptiness, the reality of your situation setting in. You were alone. No parents to vouch for you. No Sejanus to make you laugh and comfort you. No Coriolanus, you had to stop thinking about his situation to keep yourself from crying. As you held your bag tightly a dressed officer walked forward. “Gual’s student?” He asked you, to which you nodded in reply. “Welcome to District 12, this way.” He helped you into the back of a vehicle and sat in front of you.

“You’ll be shadowing and assisting the scientist in the laboratory. You have the freedom to explore, you’ll be here for a while.” He said, watching the coal miners pass you all by. “What is there to do?” You asked, looking at the buildings. The officer nodded, “There’s the Hob, group that calls themselves the Covey performs there.” Your eyes met his at the mention of “covey.” Lucy Gray was covey, so she would be here. “When do they perform?” you asked.

“I'm not sure, but hopefully soon.” he said as the car stopped in front of a building. You were coached throughout the day about the jabberjays, as well as what they were made for. Only in the late afternoon did you finally catch a break. Your hands ached from the pecks and bites of the jabberjays. You walked through the streets, hands in your pocket, taking in District 12. Birds were flying around, peacekeepers walking the streets, and someone calling your name.

Wait…

You froze and turned around, seeing a blonde girl looking at you, behind her was Lucy Gray. She immediately ran towards you and enveloped you in a hug. “You’re here,” She said, looking you up and down, “Why are you here?” “Gaul figured out I helped Coriolanus cheat during the games.” You said, and she came to a realization. “The snakes, that was you?” Lucy Gray asked, you nodded “yes.” She then hugged you once more, tighter this time than the last. You hugged her back as she asked, “What happened to Coriolanus?” Your breath hitched, and then you let it out, “He has to serve as a peacekeeper for his wrongdoings.” Her hands rubbed your shoulders, “How long does he have to serve?” You shook your head, trying not to cry, “I don’t know.” Your voice came out weak, your emotion taking over your voice.

“I’m so sorry-.” “Lucy Gray!” A voice yelled. Her expression immediately fell. “Piss off Billy!” The blonde girl who was with Lucy yelled. “Nobody’s talking to you, Ivory!” Billy yelled at the girl. “This was Maude Ivory” you realized, slowly breaking out of your trance. “Why don't you go torture another poor girl.” You shouted. Now his gaze turned to you.

“And who might you be?” Billy asked, looking you up and down. Well, shit. You didn't want people to find out you'd been sent here, lord knows how the district feels about the capitol. So you put on your best smile and sarcastic tone, “Calanthe Hemlock, and I'm so glad to meet such a waste of air like yourself.” Billy purses his lips before looking at Lucy again, “This conversation ain't over.” You three watched as he walked off before Maude Ivory looked at you, “Calanthe Hemlock huh? Where’d that name come from?” She asked. “The name “Calanthe” came from a close friend.” you explained, not missing the sorrowful look Lucy gave you. “Hemlock is one of my favorite shades of green.” You said and leaned on the building close to you.

“How long will you be here?” Lucy Gray asked, looking you in your eyes, Maude Ivory following the same movement. “I don’t know, could be weeks, could be months.” You said. Her face slows turned into a smile as she looked at Maude Ivory. “What’s that face for?” You asked. “This hell is gonna turn into a vacation.” Lucy said, sliding her arm on your back and walking you deeper into town. “You won’t have to live in your Capitol dollhouse, you can just be you.” Lucy Gray said, holding your hand and squeezing it. “Calanthe Hemlock, resident of District 12. No one knows your name, or your past, all they know is that you’re my friend.” She said.

As you watched the sunset over the trees your face slowly broke out into a smile. Calanthe Hemlock just stepped into the streets of District 12, and she was gonna have the time of her life while she had the time. The first week you still had your walls up, nervous about being alone in a new environment for the first time. By the second week, you were hanging out with Lucy every day, and by the third week, you almost forgot your birth-given name.

When Lucy Gray & Maude Ivory introduced you to their family in the Covey several weeks later, you wouldn't lie and say you were nervous. Those nerves were soon soothed by their kindness and acceptance of you. Turns out that risking your entire future for a friend ends up giving you more of them. They walked you through the woods until they came to a lake, and all rushed to jump in, all except Lucy Gray, who was watching you.

“What's wrong, Calanthe?” she asked. “I haven’t gone swimming in a while.” you said as you took your dress off. Lucy smiled softly, “Jump in or I'll shove you in myself.” She was gone in a second, jumping over the dock and into the waters. You sighed, “When in 12.” You said to yourself and ran down the dock, jumped up, and let the water cover you.

When the water ran out of your ears, The cheers of the covey filled them, chanting your name. You spent the afternoon swimming. When you all took a break, Luxy sat beside you in the grass. “I never got the chance to ask you, now did they find out you helped me?” Lucy Gray asked.

For a second, you were back in the area, the snakes slithering up your body and over your throat. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before speaking. “Dr. Gaul, the game maker, told me I was helping the other lab assistants gather the snakes out of the arena. When I walked in I was the only one there, and the snakes swarmed me a minute later.”

Lucy Gray’s mouth fell open and closed before finally closing completely, “You know she’s an absolute nutjob right?” You nodded in response, looking out at the water. “Well, stand up. You're going out tonight.” Lucy said, grabbing your hands, and making you stand. “Where are we going?” you asked, letting her walk you down the trail. “You, Hemlock, are joining us in the Hob tonight.” Maude Ivory said, looking up at you.

You scoffed, “I didn't know I was the guest of honor.” “We’re playing tonight,” Barb Azure said, looking back at you, “and you’re dancing tonight.” You laughed, “I don’t have a choice, do I?” You asked, already knowing the answer. “Nope, now go on and kill some time, we’ll be looking out for ya.” Tam Amber said, giving you a playful wink as they walked ahead of you.

When the night was setting you took a quick shower and changed into a dress you packed and walked to the Hob. The dance was already in full swing, boots stomping on the floor and loud chatter filling the air.

A smile found its way upon your face, the change of scene is a complete 180 of the dancing you were used to, yet somehow more entertaining to see. Soon you were pulled into a dance, losing track of time and the worries being capitol fell away.

When the music stopped, you found yourself in the front, looking up at Maude Ivory. “Is it hot in here?” she yelled, you and the crowd yelling “yeah” in response. “Cause we’re plannin’ on heating it up a bet more. The one, the only, Lucy Gray Baird!” she shouted, and Lucy Gray came onto the stage. As she gave her small speech, she was given a bottle, you caught her gaze and she smiled.

“Everybody!” Lucy Gray suddenly yelled, to which the crowd responded, “Yeah!” “I'd like to give a special shoutout to my dear friend, someone who pioneered for my victory throughout the games. My dear friend Clanathe Hemlock!” She yelled, pulling you up on stage, the applause and whistles drowning out your nervous giggles. “Safe to say she's happy I survived.” Lucy Gray said, letting you back down. “Now, how about a song, huh?” Lucy Gray asked, and the music queued her in.

As soon as she started singing, you recognized the lyrics. It was the same song she sang at the reaping, but it sounded a whole lot better with the band. You then noticed she froze up on a lyrics and stopped dancing to follow her gaze, but you couldn't see who she was looking at. You did manage to see the smirk she gave shot you. That was when Billy waste of air Taupe broke through the crowd.

You turned and saw Billy Taupe shove a peacekeeper before getting shoved on his ass. You covered your mouth to laugh but that hand shot out to keep yourself between him and Lucy Gray. “Leave the girl alone, Taupe!” you yelled. His eyes met yours and all of a sudden you felt his hand slap the hell out of you, sending you back onto the stage.

The slap damn near knocked you out, but you got back up just in time to see a peacekeeper with blonde hair rush towards him, shouting “Don’t touch her.” You stood up and looked at the peacekeepers, and your eyes filled with tears as you recognized his eyes. Coriolanus was the one knocking the hell out of Billy Taupe. “Coryo stop!” you heard another familiar voice yell. “Nah get off me!” Coriolanus yelled, getting dragged away by Sejnaus. Why are you here? You watched Coriolanus look you in the eyes as your face broke into the biggest smile you ever smiled in your life.

You turned to Lucy Gray as she smiled back at you, “Well look who's here.” “You saw him when you stopped singing.” you said, putting two and two together. Her hand went to your cheek and sighed, ”Try and clean that up some, ‘Lanthe, don't want this on your record.” You rolled your eyes, “Shut up, before I make you my next test subject.” You joked. “Ya love me too much to do that.” Lucy Gray yelled as you walked away. “Unfortunately!” you shouted back, blowing her a kiss as you walked back to your barracks.

The next day the slap mark went down, but it still stung like hell. Pulling on your long sleeved dress and boots, you walked to the lunch hall. You heard from the other trainees you had the day off and immediately went to find Lucy. When you walked through town, you heard your name being called and saw Sejanus running towards you. You wrapped your arms around him and let out a laugh, “What are you doing here!” “Once I found out where Coryo was going, I followed close behind. I wasn't expecting you to be here.” Sejanus said.

Your hand ran over his hair, and you pouted. “I’m gonna miss your hair.” You said, making him chuckle. “Coriolanus was looking for you earlier,” Sejanus said, making your eyes widen. His eyes took in your expression, and he smiled softly. “You don't know how loved you are, Calanthe.” He said, smoothing out your hair before sighing. “It's nice to get away from the capitol, isn't it?” you asked, Sejanus nodding “yes” in response.

His gaze soon went behind you, and he rubbed your shoulders, “I gotta go, I’ll catch up with you later.” Sejanus gave you a short smile and then walked off. You sighed, wondering who he went to talk to as you walked around. The grass hitting the skirt of your dress. You saw a familiar figure walking through the grass and your heart jumped. Before you knew it, you broke out in a run towards him. “Coryo!” you yelled, a smile breaking your face open.

He turned and mirrored your smile, walking towards you as well. You opened your arms to bring him into a hug, which he was pulled into the second you got to him. His arms held you to his chest, so close you could almost hear his heartbeat. For the first few minutes, neither of you said a word. It wasn't until he broke the silence, “Why are you here?” Coriolanis asked. “Gaul found out I helped you, and I was sent to 12 the next day.” You saw his face flash from anger to confusion to worry.

“Your parents don't know the truth, do they?” He asked, making you shake your head “No”. Coriolanus then sighed, “It's nice to know you're here.” His eyes went to yours, to your lips, to your necklace, and then right back to your lips. “No capitol. Dr. Gaul can't control us.” He whispered, leaning towards you. His nose brushed yours, making you stand still. “We’re free, Calanthe, for once.” Coriolanus added.

You had gotten used to being called by that name, but nothing could ever beat the name coming from his lips. You hadn't realized how close he was to your face until his breath hit your lips. Looking up at him, your hands found the back of his head, and then his cheek, before resting on it. He closed his eyes for a second, soaking in the comfort of your touch. “When I was on the train, I almost wanted them to shoot me.” he said, now opening his eyes. “Why, Coryo?” you asked.

“I’d rather go through the games as a tribute than stay away from you.” He whispered, making a tear fall down your face. His hand came to wipe it away with his thumb, but his hand remained on your face. You didn't know when, but the moment changed with a soft gust of wind. Like magnets, your lips found each other in a passionate kiss. Bottled-up emotions come forth to be put into the moment. His hands went down to your waist pulling you to him and holding you there.

You wrapped one arm around his neck and one on his cheek deepening the kiss, making him chuckle. He didn't verbally respond, but he kept kissing you like he would never see you again, and you weren’t complaining. All memories of the games, you being sent to 12 faded away with every second of his kisses. This was all that mattered now.

Coriolanus Snow was here. Dr. Gaul and her meddlesome ways weren't. And right now you were kissing the boy you loved in a field of flowers; what more could you want? If Dr. Gaul wanted you to adapt, you would do as she asked: After you lived a little.

[codename-adler]

when you cannot handle class discussion;

a non-aftg post still addressed to the aftg fandom because i know the aftg fam got me.

CW below: Harry Potter and JKR.

TERFs et al. not welcomed, fuck off.

one of my uni classes this semester is called Children's Literature in English. i will abstain from relating my whole life background, but here is the issue: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone is on the syllabus, due to be discussed for the next 2 weeks. other works on the program are: both Andersen's and Grimms' fairytales, Enid Blyton's The Twins at St. Clare's, The Catcher in the Rye, A Little Princess, Gene Luen Yang's American Born Chinese and Neil Gaiman's The Wolves in the Walls. (the latter is a whole other issue in itself that is not the point here)

the objective of the class is worded as followed by the professor in the syllabus:

This course will involve a critical study of children’s and young adult literature (in English) by analyzing historical and cultural connotations of childhood, adolescence, and related subjects. By analyzing a variety of texts students will explore several dimensions of children’s literature including children’s education, questions of race and identity, children’s understanding of abuse and trauma, young adult adventures and more. Literature in this course will range from the eighteenth-century concept of children’s texts, twentieth century popular school stories, as well as contemporary popular fiction including picture books and graphic novels. Students will be expected to critically engage with the texts and appreciate the sophisticated themes present in them. Children’s literature is often considered to be repositories of cultural values and deemed as agents of socialization—students will be encouraged to dissect these texts from their literary and political perspectives.

now. i've known about HP as assigned reading since the summer. initially i was very, thoroughly disappointed. and pissed. and helpless, because i did not know who the professor would be. therefore i had no clue as to how it would be handled, from what angle it would be approached. from the list of texts, i could assume a certain theme around school as a major setting for children's socialization and growth. fairytales is also always the starting point. but apart from that, no clue.

then the syllabus came, and it was grief all over again. because as you can see, nothing indicates that HP will be discussed with current events in mind. moreover, the thematic section under which it is to be read, in the syllabus, are: coming-of-age stories, adventure, YA fiction. so... nothing, you know. and so since August, i've been nursing this weird wound?

i'll admit, i was much, much, much more affected by the news than i ever thought i would. i haven't interacted with the texts and fandom for years. i actively avoid it. my ex-bestfriend who i've 'broken up' with in April was the only contact i had, because she is a die-hard fan that, although disagreeing with JKR, did not try to change the ways she engaged with the content. i rarely discussed HP with her, because i did not like it, and it was never as of major importance to me as it was to her; she has grown up with HP, whereas i only read the series around 14, never saw the movies in theatre, etc. that is not to say that i was not an ardent fan; i was immensely taken with the books, the world, that author herself. i was in awe of her genius. was.

all this to say, i have carefully curated what i'm exposed to and what i engage with. i've laid down pretty good boundaries. a little too good, perhaps, if my deep shock and perpetual grief are anything to go by. my surprise at my own feelings certainly does not help to lessen them and process them.

and now has come the time for discussion. i won't reread HP1, because i still have it pretty much memorized, and because i simply refuse to. i have so many other things to do and read and write for other classes and clubs, i cannot be arsed to give that book a single glance. but for the next 2 weeks, the next 6 hours of that class, everything will be HP and JKR. and i do not know how to handle it.

because. because the students of the class are, mostly, fans. still. and the professor too, i believe. i do not see a discussion on transphobia, homophobia, racism, antisemitism and misogyny in the cards. i'm really not getting the 'vibe' from the prof that there will be a portion reserved for those aspects. i hope i'm wrong. but i cannot prepare myself on hope.

just the discussion from some girls, during the break, about their favorite fanfics and eagerly and enthusiastically chatting about HP and the reboot and whatnot, i'm feeling awful. and, well, apart from me, these women are among the students that participate the most in discussion. (as it is, a discussion-/seminar- based course)

i understand, okay? i understand. that HP/JKR permanently changed the children's lit landscape and market. whether it was deserved/original or not, it remains that they have had a very important role in the history of kids' lit. it cannot be erased, though i wish it would. and that is, fine. nothing anyone can do about that. the mark (stain) is there to stay. i understand.

so i cannot change:

the syllabus

the professor

the students

history

i can only control the way i will handle this. i will try my very best not to engage in the discussion. though 15% of our final grade goes to participation, i have secured my full mark by now and know after HP i will pick up the work again. that is no concern to me. when i say try not to engage, i mean try not to waste energy and peace over whatever bs is bound to be said. i'm not afraid of outright far-right problematic 'opinions' or responding to them if be the case, but i doubt it will happen, which is a tiny bit of relief.

but i cannot skip those sessions. it remains that i must be present and actively listening. that is tiring and hurtful enough. and i do not know how to plan how to cope. i do have a dear friend i know i could talk to in person afterwards. and i have you guys.

so what i'm asking, after all this blah-blah, is advice, tips, ideas, to help me remain calm and well for the next 2 weeks suffering through the HP bs.

i sound dramatic af. i feel dramatic af. i don't understand why i am so affected. i don't even know for sure if the professor will skip over that crucial evil of JKR. i might be pleasantly surprised.

i'm happily open to provide any additional info if you have questions or need clarifications. i don't know how coherent i'm being. feeling real blurry rn.

yeah. that's all.

- Love, Adler xx

[iztea]

dy have any tips to make your art look less lifeless? I stare at my rendered digital art and everytime without fail i start to rot from the lack of soul in it

ok first of all, I think you might be judging your art too harshly. The only quite literal soulless art is AI art so as long as you create something, there's soul in it. But I understand what you mean. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm best suited to answer this since it's something I struggle with myself, but since you asked me, here are my two cents on the matter

A lifeless look in your art may come from two places: a lack of skills or a lack of message/delivery

Skill-wise, there's a looot you can do and improve on : gesture, dynamic poses, more expressive faces, better color language, strategic line expression, shape language, using color theory to better express a certain mood of a piece etc.

i could go into detail for each point but it would take too long so I'll leave it up to you to google and research things on your own ( or you can shoot me another ask if you want me to yap about a certain technical approach and I'll gladly do so)

but honestly, these are just skills and tools that you master in time. A first step is to at least acknowledge their existence. I want to talk more about the second aspect of this issue: intention. The intention behind your art is more valuable than you think. Art can feel soulless if it doesn't send any message, if it's generic, if there's no emotion behind it or if there's nothing to be interpreted. I'm not saying all art should be super deep or profound to hold value of course, but i often feel like this is a rather neglected part when discussing art. We sometimes get so tied up in the technical aspects like rendering or anatomy but the truth is, a general audience (aka the people who will see your art) doesn't give a crap about the technicalities. They judge something at face value and the first thing they look for is the /message/. What is this painting about? Who or what did you draw? The second thing they will look for is connection. When they can relate to the emotion conveyed or the subject matter, the experience becomes more rewarding and engaging. The same applies to the artist. Creating something meaningful and personal often leads to a greater sense of accomplishment. Honestly, skill comes second.

Case in point: why does hyperrealistic art get shit on? It's very impressive technique-wise, yes, you can't deny the artist isn't skilled, but does it express something? Nope, they do the job of a printer which again,. it is impressive but not from an ~artistic pov, just from a skill pov. On the flip side, why do poorly drawn sob stories get so much attention and praise? Because the art triggered a certain emotion (that has overwritten an already untrained eye) and emotions are extremely powerful for humans as we all very well know and it basically makes them ignore or neglect the execution

So, my piece of advice is to draw something that has personal meaning /to you/, that ignites a certain feeling you can't shake ( it doesn't have to be something #deep or sad, laughter and joy are equally valuable so keep that in mind), a certain situation or scenario and I can guarantee your art won't feel as lifeless to you as before. To better express this idea of yours that you now possess, you can now think about the technical side of how you'd express it. For example:

~deliberately messy brushstrokes and textures -> create chaos.

~maybe you're feeling something lovely dovey and soft -> warm colors to express that + brushes with lost edges

~maybe you want to tell a story in a comic format -> focus on calligraphy; shaky lineart gives off the impression of vulnerability; leave whitespaces etc

~something funny? -> goofy facial expressions or lowkey downgrading the quality usually makes something funnier

~Colors ! colors ! colors !!! pretty self-explanatory blues and grays for depression pinks and rainbows for the happy ( or NOT if you're feeling adventurous winkwink)

BONUS TIP: hiding/blocking out/blurring the face of your subject makes the painting feel more immersive. The viewer can relate to the person you're drawing ( "oh he's just like me fr")

There are artists who are insanely skilled but make kinda "boring" art and then there are artists with cool ideas but with maybe an underwhelming execution.

Ultimately, it's a combination of BOTH awesome skills and intentions. Those are my favourite artists. When i find someone who draws something that makes me stare and wonder how tf they drew that while also appreciating how cool the concept is I knoww I hit jackpot. And if they draw fanart of my fave?? bonus points

okkkkkkkkk i yapped for too long sorttyyyyy hope it helped maybe idk

!!!!DISCLAIMER!!!! this is all my personal interpretation and how i view things I'm self taught I've never been to art school or taken any art classes so i might be completely wrong !! take everything with a grain of salt !!

[tonowarii]

The asks are open?! You truly spoil us too much 😩💕

Imagine Ao'nung and his friends are joking around the the sully kids about slow they are to learning the way of water to which the Sully kids, fem reader include, decide to show them a bit of their world and give the Metkayina kids a ride on their ikran? Ao'nung riding on the reader's ikran and such, basically being two idiots with feelings but are too stubborn to figure out how to let the other know how they feel

ao'nung and you are stubborn mfs /hj

A Not So Romantic Flight

ao'nung x fem! omaticaya! reader

wc: 1.6k

warning/s: aonung and his friends being mean? idk that's just it ig

gif is not mine, credits to the owner!

"Look at them, they can't even ride the ilu properly, or even last long underwater!" One of Ao'nung's friend remarks, seeing the Sully kids try and board the ilu, but the others keep slipping off unintentionally, or maybe it was because of the misbehaving ilu.

This teasing, or even mocking, went on for a few more weeks. Over time, you had noticed Ao'nung had taken a certain interest in you. You were always bound to be the subject of his smart comments, saying things like you weren’t fit to be around the ocean and you should just go back to where you came from, back to the forest.

However, you won't let yourself be thrown around by his remarks and teasing that you had started to come up with your own rebuttal whenever he said something to tease you or your siblings.

"Hey, fish lips!" You suddenly called out one day, your siblings glancing at you in surprise as Aonung, Rotxo, and a few of his friends looked at you.

Aonung chuckles, smirking at you. “Really?”

��(Y/N).” Neteyam warned, not wanting another scolding from his father.

Completely ignoring Neteyam, you marched up against Aonung, coming face to face with his stupid smirk.

“If you’re going to pick on us relentlessly for not learning quickly, then why don’t you try being us for a change?” You challenged.

Aonung squints at you, tilting his head.

“What are you doing, (Y/N)?” You could hear Lo’ak from behind you with Neteyam. Kiri watched, not knowing what you had in mind.

“And how would we do that? Go back to the forest with you?” Aonung snickered, his friends joining in the back.

“No,” You answered, before a smirk planted itself on your face.

“You ride, with us.”

Stepping back, you looked up at the sky and began to call for your ikran before glancing back down at Aonung. A brief look of confusion struck his face that you almost missed.

Your siblings looked at you, your plan turning the gears in their heads. “I like this one.” Lo’ak mutters, identical smirk on his face as he calls for his ikran as well.

“Lo’ak, (Y/N)…” Neteyam sighed and Kiri placed a hand on his shoulder. “I think they deserve this one.” Kiri said to him, motioning towards Aonung and his friends.

The Metkayina teens stepped back as they looked towards the sky to see the mountain banshees emerge screeching, their strong wings flapping as they rounded, finding a place to land.

The smirk never left your face as you heard a loud thud behind you and a chirr behind you, your ikran, (i/n) has landed. You watched Aonung as his stare transferred behind you, eyes watching your ikran but not making eye contact with it, gulping.

“Impressive.” He sarcastically said, turning on his heel to march back but you weren’t going to let him go that easily. Once you realized it, you had your hand on his shoulder, almost forcibly turning him back to face you. Surprise overtook his features as you shook your head at him.

“You’re not going anywhere, you’re riding with me, fish lips.”

And so it began, the other Metkayina kids had also gave in and decided to try and ride on the banshees, of course, accompanied by your other siblings.

Now you stood beside your ikran, petting it gently as you looked beside you to see Aonung inspecting your ikran, he found the colours on your ikran eye-catching, like you.

However, his inspecting face was enough to make you laugh. “What? Is the baby too scared?” You teased and Aonung huffs, shaking his head, giving you a stare. “’Too scared’ my ass, let’s get this over with, probably just the same as riding a tsurak.” He scoffs.

“Is that so?” You said then you suddenly hopped on your ikran, making tsaheylu and looking at him and jerking your head behind. “I’ll show you what it’s like.”

Aonung bit the inside of his cheek before he lunges forward, hopping on your ikran behind you. “Hold tight.” You smirked, facing forward.

He just about had a heart attack as your ikran sprung forward, launching itself in the air. In an attempt to prevent himself from falling to his death, his hands instinctively went to your hips to grab.

You yelped out as your siblings followed with their own Metkayina on their backs. You had almost forgotten the freedom you’ve felt once you were in the air, it was definitely a huge contrast from being in the ocean almost everyday for the past week.

Aonung felt like every nerve in his body was shaking from how high up the two of you were, of course he’d not show it on the outside. He’s ridden a tsurak before, how could this be any different?

Well, he could say that mountain banshee’s are a lot more faster and limber.

“Can’t speak now, huh?” You looked back at Aonung to see his face scrunched, looking down, however, in that moment you saw his face, you couldn’t deny how good he looked. When he looked back at you, you had maintained your composure. “This! It is boring!” He spoke.

Letting out a dry chuckle, you had certainly known what you were about to do. “Oh yeah?” You taunted him before leaning over towards (i/n) “Let’s show him what we can do, (i/n).”

Your ikran happily screeched, bolting up high in the air and spreading its wings before beginning to free fall.

Aonung’s expression drops as he holds on tighter to you, almost wrapping his arms around you. “What are you doing?!”

“You said it was boring!” You shouted back as the wind blew over you. Aonung could only look in fear as you neared the ocean. “This is not funny, (Y/N)!” He said, demeanour breaking, squeezing you.

Laughing, you had commanded your ikran to dive with an aileron roll, making Aonung shut his eyes, hold on you tight, as the three of your spun around and around. Before hitting the ocean, it spread its wings widely, gliding much above the surface smoothly. From behind, you could hear Aonung breath out a breath of relief as he opens his eyes.

As you caught your breath from that exhilarating ride, you were now flying calmly straight, gliding along the village, your siblings also showing off in the distance as you could hear Aonung’s friends enjoying the thrill of being so high up in the air.

Letting out a breath, only then you had looked down and noticed Aonung’s strong arm wrapped around your stomach in a carefree manner as he takes a look down at the view. You could feel something funny churn inside of you that sent your heartbeat spiking. You loved the feeling that it had sent you gripping a little tighter on your ikran’s saddle in sheepishness.

When it had been time to go down already, your ikran definitely had its own plan as it landed the two of you almost a good amount of walk towards the others.

You had made Aonung go down first, the ghostly touch of his fingertips tracing along your stomach as they left had given you goosebumps, shuddering at the feeling. You were surprised Aonung still stood there, almost as if he was waiting for you to come down yourself.

Hopping down, you had muttered a quick ‘Thank you’ to (i/n) before it flew back to its nest. You then felt a pair of eyes staring at the back of your head. Turning around, it was true as Aonung was looking at you, indiscernible look written all over him.

Breathing in, you almost felt shy all of a sudden at his gaze and you hated the way your voice softened as you talked. “See, it wasn’t that bad.”

Aonung, for the first time since you’ve came here, gave you a genuine pursed smile that you could’ve sworn you were dreaming of seeing, and how could it be— just from that simple smile seemed to suddenly enhance everything about him. In short, he looked damned handsome while smiling.

“For the first time, I agree with something you said.” He spoke. That sentence made you lit up, maybe you had a shot at being friends after all.

“You sure? Bet you had your eyes closed during the whole thing.” You experimentally teased, now walking side-by-side with him back to the village. Aonung glances down at you, tilting his head. “Maybe, but I’m sure you just liked having my arm wrapped around you.” He teased back.

That sent your ears and eyes casting downwards in bashfulness, and the worse part is, Ao’nung had caught it.

He halts in his movements, smirking as he grabbed your wrist to stop you, facing him.

“You do, don’t you?” He asked, you gather the courage to look up at him, rolling your eyes, not once finding a decent comeback in your head this time. A teasing smile now appeared on him.

“I don’t… as if.” You weakly replied, but you did. You did like having his arm wrapped around you. It made you feel secure- confident, even.

He chuckles, tilting his head at you. To be frank, he did love teasing the hell out of you, but it was only because he couldn’t get you off his mind, that by the time you started to retaliate, he even fell harder for you. Now, knowing that he might have an inkling of a chance to finally be close or- even start something with you, he wasn’t going to pass it up.

“Then I guess there’s still time to change things, don’t you think?”

EDIT: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY CONSIDER THIS AS MY VALENTINES GIFT!!!

[xjulixred45x]

Can you do oneshot of yandere Mephisto Pheles (Blue Exorcist) x Fem s/o who is a witch who can heal any and everything with her healing magic she can everyone else, but she can't heal herself; she is compliant, gentle and soft spoken he made her his wife, and they have a daughter together please?

Hi! I don't do one Shots, i think You mean Headcanons (or a Drabble), but okay! First Yandere x compliant Reader in a long time

Yandere! Mephisto Pheles x Willing! Witch! Reader

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: female

Warnings: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, OBSESIVE BEHAVIOR, MEPHISTO BEING MEPHISTO, MANIPULATION, MURDER, SOME OVERPROTECTION, UNHEALTY MINDSET, WILLING READER SO NO KIDDNAPING THIS TIME, strange amount of fluff. SOME SPOILERS FROM THE MANGA!

Let's say the reader belongs to a clan similar to Myodha.

who precisely practice magic and alternative medicine, medicines, herbology, poisons, etc. By combining both arts, they became quite relevant and powerful.

Thanks to this, they allied themselves with the true Cross for business purposes, since it was quite useful for them to have the Vatican as an ally in the market, apart from the fact that now they could test their knowledge on other subjects.

You guessed it, demons.

Can you imagine that Mephisto's first interaction with this family was when they were working in the laboratory/section 13?💀

Taking the above into account, Mephisto had knowledge of this family, but no more than he would have of any other family that worked with him or the order.

I saw them as interesting humans, but greedy and self-righteous.

That's when the reader comes in.

reader, despite having grown up in such a...peculiar environment, had her own convictions, her own ideas about how the family should use its resources.

They had so many medical advances, so many remedies and medicines at hand, magic that could CURE diseases, why not share that with the world?

Even if the reader knew that she could not do what she proposed, not only for her family, but for the order, she continued to maintain her position.

This was what caught Mephisto's attention. He was interested.

Coming from a "family" in which he is the black sheep himself, you could say that he sees a little of himself in the reader (only more naive and weak according to him).

But it was something he liked, he can't explain why, but he felt attracted to the sincerity of the reader.

It's like...wanting to take care of SOMETHING precious in the outside world.

I like to think that at least at first he would "try" to approach him in a more "normal" way or have a proper courtship, things like chats during work or gifts, which when received positively only fuels Mephisto's interest even more, which becomes darker with time.

I think he is one of the demon brothers who can become a yandere the fastest for someone, just a couple of days. since it does not need a romantic connection as such, but a simple INTEREST. although in this case you could say that he feels a certain connection to the "black sheep of the family" part.

I've said it before, Mephisto is a shameless yandere. When he starts to feel unusual things towards the reader, he won't hide it.

More in this case, what reader sees the red flags and says "is it really RED RED?"

Let's say that the fact that the reader is a volunteer helps a lot for Mephisto to bring out his best and worst side as a yandere.

to give an example.

Mephisto is much less oppressive with a voluntary Darling, because if she is already willing, why restrict her?

He's a clingy piece of shit, that's even if he wasn't a yandere, although at least with a willing Darling he CAN tone it down a bit. Although the reader should expect many displays of physical affection and PDA if she is going to be in a relationship with him.

He and the reader go on dates outside MUCH MORE OFTEN than if she were a kidnapped darling, for OBVIOUS reasons.

It is much calmer in several aspects. basically.

But there are also others that could worsen considerably or remain the same.

his possessiveness for example.

At first Mephisto would see the reader as something precious, something to care for and protect because of her rarity and beauty, it would take him a LONG time to see her as an equal, so sometimes (sometimes on purpose, sometimes not) he would treat her in a condescending way. .

AND YOU CAN'T AVOID IT! He is millions of years old and is the third most powerful being in his universe, it would really take time (hehe) for him to see his HUMAN partner (no matter how much magic she has) as his equal.

Also an aspect that remains even with the reader being a volunteer is his level of jealousy and in a certain way overprotection.

In itself, the reason he likes Reader is because he wants to protect her from the world, Mephisto loves her, but he thinks she is too naive, deluded, so he is VERY aware of his surroundings in case there is any possible threat.

And I also mean "threat" to things like disrespect, making the reader feel bad, catcalling, etc. everything is an offense.

at least Mephisto takes care of those kinds of problems ASAP, whether it's a "little accident" or just a hit from him that pulverizes half your body.

He is needy, so he wants attention almost at all times, ESPECIALLY if it is a reader.

If there is someone who diverts their attention for too long, depending on the case, it can end very badly.

if it's a one-time thing, Mephisto will just break all their bones, but he won't kill them. but if it is something constant that they do not want to stop, then they can make peace with any god they pray to...

No one, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE has more right to the kindness of a reader than him, he doesn't care if she is at work or healing someone, he wants her pampering >:(

For this reason, it is most likely that when the reader begins to have a relationship with him, he will make her quit her job, although don't worry! He has it all covered. Whether through threats or other methods, he makes the reader's family comply with her demands, whatever it takes to see her happy and safe at home~

Here, ironically, it is only when the isolation stage begins. You could say that the fact that the reader accepted his advances caused him to delay, but Mephisto can only not show this side of him for so long.

Now that reader doesn't have a job to attend to, her only job is to be with him and love him, it's that simple.

However, be prepared, because once you deal with this demon, his true colors are much more evident.

For example.

would invite the reader to see how he tortures the Ex-wires, seeing it as something fun himself, he thinks it is a good way to spend time with his wife :)(and no, she can't go cure them because where is the fun in that?)

It also starts to become more obvious when the people who make him jealous/angry suddenly disappear. If the reader asks him about it, he will not give himself away, but he will not deny it either.

One would think that by now the reader would have tried to run away, hurt him, etc. because well, HE IS A HORRIBLE BEING!

but for some reason she continues to stay with him of her own free will, FOR LOVE.

and that only means that when they find out that they are going to be parents, things become between better and worse.

On the one hand, they are going to have their own little family! but on the other hand, Mephisto's tendencies will not only be directed towards his wife, but also towards his daughter.

Contrary to what most people say, I think that if Mephisto had a baby with his partner, he would be just as obsessive and jealous with the baby as with his mother, it's simple instinct.

When the reader becomes pregnant, it means TOTAL and absolute isolation. there are no buts.

Although Reader goes for a walk from time to time because it is good for her, it will always be with Mephisto, since she doesn't even trust anyone else for that type of tasks.

reader WILL BE CONCENTRATED LIKE YOU CAN'T IMAGINE, I already did it before this, but now? multiply it by 3.

Mephisto can set up the nursery in less than 3 seconds with a snap of his fingers, but at least he has the decency not to decorate it like he would decorate his room😅(with anime things).

Mephisto is quite anxious about the task, and definitely brings the reader's relatives to help in that area.

He tries to act as usual, but deep down he is terrified that the demon baby will kill his wife.

although she definitely throws all that out the window when the girl is born and the reader is fine.

and you bet, he becomes a platonic yandere for his daughter too!

You could say that he has a special bond with his daughter by being 1- a demon who from the beginning makes it easier for him to see her as an "equal" and 2- a human hybrid, the beings that he finds so interesting.

Plus, she is his daughter and the only human he has been able to love in such a twisted way in millions of years. How could he not love this little creature?

This daughter's life will be complicated, to say the least.

although at least it has its good sides having the whole family.

Mephisto, despite his tendencies, is a... decent father? it's fun. The girl never has a boring time with him.

I mentioned it in another post, he is the mad hatter. His daughter is his Alice. and reader here would be your queen of hearts.

I can definitely see Mephisto teaching his yandere tendencies to his daughter as "normal" or as "a way to protect mom from the outside world" which depending on the case, could make Mephisto have an ally or the reader have a way of knowing when Mephisto is lying to him.

Like I said, it's complicated.

but when Mephisto has his own tendencies towards his daughter.

although at least his daughter has her mother to keep Mephisto a little more in line. a bit.

It's a strange, twisted family life, they love each other, but at what cost...

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

SO SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY!! this year is being kind of shit for me, hope when collage it's over to Open the Requests again and make them ON TIME.

SORRY AGAIN FOR TAKING SO LONG. AND THANKS FOR THE REQUESTS