#there are some websites and videos teaching ppl how to fix accordions but... its complex

[piplupod]

i think what upsets me most, besides the fact that this means no more accordion unless i somehow miraculously get it fixed, is that despite my best efforts to be careful and not mess up, i still managed to make a mistake and fuck it up. despite understanding and appreciating how expensive and valuable and fragile this instrument is, despite my best efforts to keep it safe and in good condition, i still managed to mess up and damage it.

like ... I just mess up. I have something nice, something of value, and I cannot seem to keep it safe and taken care of. things end up ruined. shirts get holes, dresses get stains, electronics get battery acid leaking or cracked, dishes get broken, book pages get torn or bent, trinkets get chipped, instruments are bonked and rattled. i am so terrified of handling anything that things most often just stay sitting in lidded bins so they are safe from carpet beetles and dust and dirt and food and me.

i just feel awful, i dont understand why I can't just keep things safe and in good condition ?? why is this so impossible for me, especially when i care so much ??