#there are so many more pieces i wanted to include

[annabelle--cane]

i wasn’t here when tma reached the height of its popularity (i only joined last year) so could you describe the Vibes (how bad the drama was, did it feel like there were too many people, etc.)

only if you want to :]

I've said this before, so this may be a familiar spiel to longer term followers, but 2020 tma fandom was honestly not the worst fandom I've ever been in, it was just by far the biggest thing I have ever been actively into at peak popularity and so the 1% of insane people that are found in every fan space were 1% of a much bigger total population. most people were fine and chill, but there were a vocal minority who Weren't.

major ingredients in the discourse pot:

from my observations, tma had a small but devoted listener base for its first few years, then it got a little bump in mid 2018, then a considerable bump in late 2019, then hit proper virality in early 2020, so there were a lot of people with hipster complexes about being Real Fans who were there first and weren't just part of the masses.

at this point I'm not even sure if this part was true, but the above was compounded by the perception that the earlier og listener base were mostly adults and the new wave of fans were mostly tweens and teens. whether the different waves actually fell along those age lines or not, a lot of people felt like the fandom was split into 80% Cringe Zoomers Who Are Here For Ships And Memes and 20% Millennials and Gen X'ers With Media Literacy Who Are Here For Horror. nice dichotomy, idiot, now what lies outside it, etc and such and such. our blessed fandom etiquette vs their barbarous dni lists.

which isn't to say that suddenly having a huge number of people, including young people, become interested in a single piece of media at a time of global stress where everyone had to be much more online and the content of the media itself was at its darkest and most socially relevant had no downsides. oh no. Oh No.

"my headcanon is not only objectively the best headcanon but it actually invalidates all of yours and if you hc something different then it's an act of bigotry against my Correct Headcanon." / "I have drawn up a list of Good Characters you have to like and aren't allowed to criticize and a list of Bad Characters you have to hate and can't acknowledge exist unless it's to make fun of and completely condemn them." / "I saw her username in the kudos of a jonelias fic" "girl what were YOU doing in the kudos of a jonelias fic" / "this latest episode handled a social issue unforgivably badly, I haven't experienced it myself but the vibes were off, everyone demand accountability and boycott the rest of the show" "hey that one was actually based on jonny's personal experiences" "ah fuck not again. well boys let's remember this for next time. this latest epis--"

honestly most of the discourse was down to like two or three friend groups. there was one group of people who you will probably remember if you were there at the time whom I have sometimes seen referred to as the Clown Gang. Clown Gang were ground zero for a good 90% of fan discourse ("hcing melanie as ace is ableist and lesbophobic" "fan content that focuses on jon's asexuality is biphobic. what's pansexuality I've never heard of it." "desolation tim aus are inherently ableist and racist"), but eventually they had a big falling out with Clown Prime and things calmed down. to be very clear I hold no ill will towards any of these people for four year old bad takes, hence why I'm not using any names, but god was it a time.

and this is only about the tumblr side of things. I was barely active of twitter so idk what it was like there but I was on tiktok for about a year during that time and the vibes were wildly different. iirc people there were less confrontational and there wasn't really a callout culture like on tumblr, but the extremes of the takes were FAR worse.

[trashytracktales]

Idk if you write about this topics since they are really sensitive, but it is something I’m currently struggling with and I would like to see how lando would react after finding out that the reader has been hiding a her struggle with mental illness and attempts of ending her life. Once again I know how sensitive this request is but I started reading your work and fell in love with it and thought that you would write this beautifully

Seasons change | LN⁴

💌 REQUESTED by anon ──── This was a pretty difficult one-shot to write, even though it's not very lengthy. I know that mental health is still a topic of actuality that we all deal with in one way or another. The only thing that I want you guys to remember after reading this, is that you are not alone. I know that it may sound like a broken record, but it's true. Each of us has a Lando in our lives who will care enough to stand by you without ulterior motives or conditions. And if you really feel like you don't, I can be him for you. My DMs and ask box are always open, so don't hesitate to reach out if you need someone. You matter in all your forms 🤍

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

☆ summary ──── He's been away for work for a while now, but when Lando comes home to find his girlfriend at her lowest, they have to learn the hard way that love is about sitting with each other in the dark, not just chasing the light.

☆ pairing ──── Lando Norris x she/her reader

☆ rating ──── mature

☆ category ──── F/M

☆ word count ──── 2.6k

☆ date ──── Jan. 11, 2025

☆ warnings ──── 16+, established relationship, soft!Lando, mental health struggles, depression, suicidal ideation, mention of alcohol consumption and pills, emotional distress, vulnerability, guilt and healing, non-sexual nudity (bathtub scene, including tenderness and intimacy).

Please, proceed with caution and prioritize your well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling, these are some of the resources I personally used for years now & I think (and hope) that it might help you at some point:

☆ MENTAL HEALTH APPS

Calm

7 cups

BetterMe

☆ INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS

idontmind

thefabstory (also an app)

getreformative (currently inactive, but great resources posted there)

talkspace

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

THE APARTMENT IS too quiet tonight. A space that once felt like a sanctuary, now seems to close in on her, the walls pressing closer with each passing hour.

To anyone looking in, her life might appear perfectly ordinary, even enviable. She has a stable job that she loves, a couple of friends who care in their own way, and Lando. Lando, with his boundless energy, his boyish grin, and his unwavering ability to see the good in her even when she struggles to find it in herself. But beneath that polished surface, there’s a darkness she’s been hiding for as long as she can remember.

She’s not really sure when it happened, or what caused her to lose her spark. Most of the times, she thinks that she’s always been like this, but that can’t be right. Although, at this point in time, it went on long enough that she learned to wear masks and mimic people’s gestures. It’s exhausting, but it’s easier than explaining why some days she can barely drag herself out of bed, or why her mind feels like a storm she can’t escape.

Lately, the same storm has been relentless. Lando’s been away for weeks, hopping from one race to another, his life a whirlwind of fast cars, tons of people, and flashing cameras. She’s proud of him, of course, but his absence leaves a void she can’t seem to fill on her own, no matter how many phone calls they share.

She knows it’s not his responsibility to fix her, but without even knowing it, Lando does it every time he looks at her. In those moments, pieces of her heart are welded back together, giving her hope that one day, maybe, it will be whole again.

Of course, things aren’t that easy.

She’s always been a loner, someone who enjoys her own company more than the chaos of others. This is why she doesn’t go with Lando to all of his races. Over time, they’ve developed their own rhythm, and it only works when they both put in the effort to be together. However, she knows that he often works for both of them. She also knows that it’s not right to let him do this, but she doesn’t know how to stop.

But being alone isn’t the same as being lonely, and lately, the loneliness feels like it’s swallowing her whole. She tries to keep busy, to distract herself with work or a new book, but the dark thoughts always find her; a cycle she can’t break. They usually creep in at night when she’s most vulnerable, whispering lies she can’t ignore.

You’re a burden.

He’d be better off without you.

Everyone would be better off without you.

In spite of everything, she knows she’s lucky, though. She has a roof over her head, food on the table, and someone who loves her. And, somehow, knowing that only makes her feel worse. Most of the times, the guilt is suffocating — a heavy weight that presses down on her chest until she can’t breathe. She’s tried to push the thoughts away, to drown them in work or meaningless distractions. She tried to be grateful. But tonight, like many other nights before, they’ve won.

When Lando steps into the apartment, the soft click of the door is echoing in the stillness. It’s late — later than he’d hoped — and he assumes she’s already asleep, because he texted her hours ago to let her know he was on his way, but there had been no reply.

Dropping his bag quietly by the door, he toes off his sneakers and glances toward the dimly lit living room. The faint glow of the city skyline filters through the curtains, casting muted shadows across the floor. He moves carefully, not wanting to wake her, with a simple plan in mind: slip into bed, wrap his arms around his girlfriend, and fall asleep to the steady rhythm of her breathing.

But something feels off.

On his way to the bedroom, he spots the balcony door slightly ajar. A cool breeze sneaks through the crack, carrying with it the faint scent of something acrid. He pauses, his brow furrowing as he approaches the glass door.

That’s when he sees her.

She’s out on the balcony, her back to him, legs dangling dangerously over the edge. For a moment, he’s frozen in place, his mind struggling to process what he’s seeing. Then his gaze shifts, taking in the scene: some things are knocked over on the small table by the door, a small flacon of pills alongside a half-empty bottle of wine, and all the mess. The realization hits him like a physical blow, and his heart starts pounding in his chest.

But then, panic grips him as he slides the door open, stepping out onto the balcony. The sound startles her, and she turns her head slightly, her expression distant and unfocused. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and there’s an eerie calmness about her that chills him to the core.

“Hey, is everything okay?” asks Lando, his voice soft as he crouches beside her, careful not to make any sudden movements. “What… baby, what are you doing out here?”

She doesn’t answer immediately, her gaze drifting back to the city below. The silence stretches, each second feeling heavier than the previous one.

“Talk to me,” he pleads, his voice slightly cracking. His eyes dart back to the table, to the pill bottle and the wine, and he feels a surge of anger mixed with fear. “Is this—fuck. Did you take these?”

She shakes her head, a small smile curving in the corner of her mouth. “I’m so tired, love,” she whispers finally, her voice shaking over the hum of the city.

Her words hit him like a punch in the gut, and he’s suddenly aware of how fragile she looks, and how close she is to the edge. His hands shake as he reaches for her, gently gripping her arm. His heart beats so hard that he feels it throughout his body — his ribcage, in his throat, in the hand he tightens around her, to make sure he’s holding her with enough force.

“Okay. That’s okay,” he says, his tone soft but urgent. “Let’s go inside, yeah? I’m tired too, we can rest together. What do you say?”

“No… no, it’s not—” she tries to speak, but her brain is clouded by a mental fog, and everything around her moves too quickly for her to catch up.

“Come on, can you step back? Please. For me?”

His last question is what jolts her back to reality. For him? She would do anything for him. Lando knows that, and she soon realizes that he is using it to emotionally blackmail her. He always does that, and it annoys her.

She raises her head to look at him, her tired eyes meeting his, and for a moment, Lando thinks she’ll comply. But then, she pushes his hand away, a trace of betrayal crossing his face.

“No. It’s pretty out here,” she says, gazing down at the world that simply exists under her feet. The distance makes her stomach clench, knowing that all it takes it’s a small misstep for everything to end. Still, she doesn’t move an inch.

“I see that, love,” he agrees, “But I want to talk to you, and I can’t do that unless I make sure you’re safe. Did you… do this before?”

She nods slowly, refusing to look at him.

At that, Lando exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, trying to calm the storm in his chest. He knows her enough to know when to push and when to give her space, only this time around, he’s met with a weird combination of both. Luckily, his body decides what to do before his mind agrees to it and, cautiously, he climbs up to join her on the edge, his hands gripping the cold railing as his pulse pounds in his ears.

Her head snaps toward him, her expression instantly shifting, panic flashing in her eyes. “No, what are you doing?” she whispers, her voice cracking.

“I’m with you,” he murmurs, his voice tender, laced with fear he’s desperately trying to hide. “If you’re staying here, then so am I.”

She blinks, her lips parting as if to protest, but no words come. Instead, her gaze softens, the wine-induced haze in her eyes clearing. Slowly, she lets out a shaky breath and sits down on the narrow ledge, her hands gripping the edge. Lando follows her lead, sitting close but careful not to crowd her, his knee brushing hers. He hesitates for a moment before gently reaching for her hand, and he exhales relieved when her fingers close around his, grounding both of them.

They sit in silence for a moment, the distant city lights flickering around them.

“I’ve missed you a lot, you know?” he finally whispers, his voice barely audible, breaking the quiet. “I never… If something happens, I don’t want to have to miss you all the time—”

“Lando, I know,” she cuts him off. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” she continues, staring at their joined hands. Her voice is small, guilt creeping into her tone.

He nods, looking at her, “Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Lando says gently. “I know I’m away a lot, but if you need me, I’ll do anything.”

Her grip on his hand tightens slightly just as she turns to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry,” she repeats, tears pooling but not yet falling. “It’s not your fault, Lan. It’s me. I… don’t even know. There’s nothing wrong, but at the same time, nothing’s quite right, either.”

He shakes his head, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Don’t apologize for feeling. It just makes me think now, because I thought you trusted me,” says Lando, his words cutting through her like a knife through butter. “I trust you,” he adds, almost like pointing it out.

She knows he does, her mind instantly replaying the moments in her mind, the times he’d come to her with his struggles. When a race didn’t go his way, and he doubted everything he’d worked so hard for. When social media was brutal, tearing him apart with words that left invisible scars. When he felt hated and couldn’t understand why. He always talked to her, shared his pain, his fears, his insecurities. He let her in, trusted her completely. And now, here she was, shutting him out when he was only trying to do the same for her.

“Don’t say that…” she starts, but her voice catches, and her breath hitches. “I’m trying.”

“I know, baby. I know,” Lando says gently, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Can we, please, just go inside?”

The tears she’s been holding back for too long finally slip free, carving hot, silent paths down her cheeks. She looks up at him, her lips trembling as she whispers, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

His expression softens, and without hesitation, he lifts her hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to her knuckles, mostly to show her that she didn’t. The gesture is so simple yet so full of love that it sends a fresh wave of emotion crashing over her.

Lando doesn’t let go of her hand as he gently helps her to her feet, guiding her back inside the apartment. The night air clings to their skin, but it’s the quiet inside that feels even heavier. He doesn’t say much, just keeps her close, his touch steady and grounding as they make their way to the bathroom.

A little uncomfortable now, she leans against the doorframe, watching as Lando moves around, carefully. He runs the water, testing the temperature with his hand, adding just the right amount of bath salts from the container on the shelf. The pale lavender-scented steam begins to fill the space, creating a safe bubble for both of them.

When Lando finally looks back at her, his expression is warm and inviting, somehow hopeful. He steps closer, reaching out to gently cup her cheek, wiping away the tear stains that remain.

“You’re everything to me,” he says softly, his thumb brushing over her skin before his hands move to the hem of her hoodie.

She doesn’t protest as he carefully lifts it over her head, his touch tender, his eyes never leaving hers. For a moment, she stands there, feeling vulnerable under his gaze, but there’s nothing but love in his expression.

Her fingers tremble slightly as she reaches out to return the gesture, undoing the buttons on his shirt one by one. His eyes stay locked on hers, silently reassuring her, grounding her in the best way possible. By the time she pushes the fabric off his shoulders, the weight in her chest feels a little lighter.

They step into the bath together, the warm water enveloping them like a soothing embrace. She settles between his legs, her back against his chest, and his arms come around her instinctively. There’s no rush, no need for words. It’s just them, surrounded by the quiet hum of the water and the soft glow of the candles Lando had lit earlier.

He presses a gentle kiss to the top of her head, his lips lingering for a moment before he rests his chin on her shoulder. “Promise you’ll talk to me next time?” he asks, his voice small but steady. “I know things won’t change overnight, I don’t expect them to. But I need to know you understand that I’m here for you. That I love you enough to listen, and feel everything with you.”

The words settle in her chest, heavy but necessary, like the first raindrops of a storm. For the first time in what feels like forever, she sees beyond the swirling chaos in her mind. The weight of his love and understanding wraps around her like the warmth of the water they’re sitting in. And then it hits her.

How life itself is the changing of seasons, a constant push and pull — a constant chaos. Sometimes, the sun will break through, lighting everything in gold. Other times, it will rain so hard she won’t see the way ahead. But Lando’s right. It will get better again. Then worse. And then better again. That’s the way it is for everyone. A relentless tide of ups and downs, joy and pain, hope and disappointments.

As she leans back into his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart, she realizes the most important thing: it isn’t always black or white. Sometimes, it’s a hazy gray — a space where the lines blur, where the answers aren’t clear, and the path you find yourself on feels impossibly difficult to navigate. But it’s in that in-between, in the murky middle, that having the right person beside you matters the most. Not to pull you into the light or demand you leave the shadows, but to sit with you in the dark, holding your hand, letting you know you’re not alone.

She swallows hard, her throat tight, but not from sadness this time. “I promise,” she finds the strength to whisper. Her breath catches, and she turns her head slightly to meet his gaze, tears still pooling in her eyes. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I—”

“You deserve everything, my love,” Lando assures her, his lips brushing her temple, before placing a tiny kiss there. “And I’ll make sure you get it.”

His definitive tone sends shivers down her spine.

She closes her eyes, feeling the water ripple softly around them, and holds on tighter, knowing that no matter what storms may come, the most important thing is that they won’t lose each other’s touch.

And that’s everything to her.

PREVIOUS LN⁴ ONE-SHOT

MASTERLIST

Thank you for reading!

None of my works are available for reposting on other platforms. Reblogs, likes, and comments are deeply appreciated ♥︎

© trashy track tales, 2025

[demonnotebook]

"You mind if I steal?"

"Oh, when have you ever asked?"

I'm not sure if Stolas was referring to all the times Blitzø stole things, including the stuff from the palace, but I can't help thinking about this short interaction and what it could be connected to.

On the bright side, Stolas might already be aware of all the things Blitzø has been hiding from him, and yet his love for Blitzø has not diminished one bit.

Stolas knows that Blitzø keeps many secrets from his past, but that he is not ready to share them, and Stolas really respects that, even if it can be painful to feel that the other person does not feel safe enough with you to be vulnerable.

However, in the same conversation, Blitzø does show vulnerability and shares something that he doesn't even seem to have shared with anyone else in I.M.P.: Blitzø talks about his sister and in doing so seeks to make Stolas feel less alone. He seeks to connect with him.

Despite the terrible emotional state Stolas is in, and the fact that he does not yet have the full context to know the courage it took for Blitzø to share that valuable piece of his past, I think Stolas understands that Blitzø is really trying to break down those walls that separated them emotionally.

Can't wait to see what the next season has to offer. I hope it has more intimate moments like this one, that allows them to understand each other's past and therefore also their present actions.

Delulu me also wants them to talk about their first interaction as kids and flashbacks from Blitzø's perspective if possible hehe.

[quirekey]

pretty please write more abt d-16 and megatron im THIRSTY for more of him

Okay so anything about D16 / Megatron? Aight bet lets do this….. I MADE IT ANGST AAAAA

[ D16 / MEGATRON ] x [ GN!READER ]

[ d16 / megatron x cybertronian!gn!poet!reader ]

READER INTRO

You were a famous Cybertronian, known for your poetry. You loved to write about melodramatic stories that would give deep and unheard meanings. You are graceful and seemingly magical, being able to put somebody at ease with a few simple words. Your poems consisted of many types of romance because you thought that romance is something that really digs deep into somebody’s spark. You never had many friends because you weren’t social, but you did admire others that could socialise. Many cybertronians look up to you and you stay humble, including D16. Just to mention, you did have a cog.

HEADCANONS

- D16 has many idols that vary and one of them is you. He admires your fantastic vocabulary and the amount of emotional depth you are able to add to your poems. You looked so dreamy, the way you spoke, walked and wrote. D16 may or may not have a small crush on you.

- D16 was one persistent fan and his relentless want for your attention did give him a wanted ending. When you are out, many Cybertronians are talking to you and are wanting to receive writing tips, signatures or even just small glances and waves. D16 knew this so he made a gift (a little piece of energon and a letter) and was able to give it to you despite the crowd.

- You opened your gift when you got to your quarters and this warmed your spark so much. His gift was so miniture and cute. You then read his letter and it felt like you melted on the spot.

“From- D16 To- (Y/N)”

“Hi, I really wanted to talk to you in person but you seem out of my league so I thought a letter would fit best. I made this letter to tell you that you have inspired me to start writing myself. Your poems are so nice to read after every mining shift and I hope you make more in the future.”

- After you read the poem, this tiny miner has been lingering in your mind. You thought you had these thoughts because of his tiny gift, but they have gotten pretty far. You wanted this tiny bot in your arms, you wanted to show him the love and affection he deserves. You made a personal poem about how a mere gift has grown into undefined feelings.

- When you see him, you would talk straight to him first. This did catch him off-guard every time because his idol was talking to him. You would bring him gifts that you thought he would like and you would also give him one of your treasured pens. Though it was hard for him to take care of these gifts, he did try pretty hard to keep them clean and in-quality.

- You guys eventually became close friends and he does confess his love for you. He tried his best to be stoic but it was hard to keep his fluster away. You couldn’t resist him but decided that it’s best to be friends due to his and your part in society. You did like him back so there was still a chance.

- One day you were able to build the courage and tell the cogless bot how much you loved him. How you yearned to have him in your arms and for you to whisper words of sweet affirmation into his audio receptors. You had a serious problem with this lingering love so you had to spill it.

- Fortunately, you two started dating in secret. To make it short, it was very wholesome. Though you two were constantly distanced, you both knew that you were in each other’s processors.

- When he went from being D16 to Megatron, this conflicted you. Your brain told you to stay in Iacon with the autobots and Optimus Prime. Your spark told you to leave with the bot you have loved from the beginning and join the Decepticons with Megatron. Your spark that has been growing and blooming took over and you left Iacon for Megatron’s love.

- Megatron still had love for you and gave you a special role that did not require you to do any work. You wanted you to be happy. Just because he changed, doesn’t mean his spark has changed.

- All you do is write poems in your spacious and dim quarters. It's hard to feel comfort due to the yelling outside your room and it’s hard to get inspiration for your poems because all you are doing is evil. Sure, it isn’t impossible but it feels like it is in the situation you were in.

[habken]

I'm just curious but how would the cuffs be more complicated when it comes to rigging? I want to know just as much as I can about animation

It's kind of similar to making a paper puppet, where every piece you want moving independently has to be its own thing, but also not like that at all and so very complicated in so many other ways which I have yet to discover (I haven't rigged anything yet), the cuffs would just be an extra piece and another thing I'd have to think about when animating

this is kind of how I've vaguely broken down how things will be separated, though it doesn't include everything for the face or all the drawing substitutions for the hands/feet/etc. Since it's my first time ever rigging something and it's also for a school project, I want it to be as simple as possible so there's less a chance I screw up and break things

[batmanlovesnirvana]

SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT THE DC FANDOM (please read)

I’m making this post even though she (@/hyunnjiin) blocked me, since she REFUSES to take accountability after being called out. This is also for the DC FANDOM because it needs to be addressed.

(I hate doing this—honestly, I’ve never done it before—but I can’t just sit back and let her have the last word.)

I saw her post, and yes, I’m calling it out because it’s not only unnecessary but incredibly immature. She’s a 24-year-old woman wasting her time stirring up drama on Tumblr of all places over something that could’ve easily been avoided.

For reference, here’s the post in question:

I’m making this to set the record straight because I’m beyond tired of the nonsense she’s been pulling.

Instead of taking accountability, she’s been blocking anyone calling her out, deleting replies, and only keeping the ones kissing up to her. So, here it is.

Let me be clear: I don’t mind criticism—it comes with the territory when you’re a writer—but this? This felt personal. It was personal.

First off, she’s been playing games. She reblogged her own post like 20 times, replied to people, and pinned it to her blog.

Then she changed her bio, and started deleting replies—including mine—and even changed the name to "Aurora." Her excuse? Oh, it wasn’t about my fic, just the first name that came to mind (sure, Jan 🙄). Then she wiped everything again, switched back to "Maryam," and only replied to comments that agreed with her.

"It's best to ignore it," she says, then reblogs it 20 times.

Then she went nuclear—deleting all replies AGAIN, including hers and mine, and apparently even my reblogs where I was trying to explain myself (didn’t even know that was possible, but here we are). The post was suddenly full of new replies, and guess what? She’s only responding to those who are hyping her up. Now she blocked me and a mutual—because, apparently, accountability isn’t her thing. Deleted our comments again, only left the ones agreeing with her, and turned off the comments entirely.

It’s SO weird. 

What’s even crazier is that more people are jumping on this train, leaving comments hyping her up like she didn’t just twist everything and censor anyone who disagreed. The whole situation is so idiotic to fight over, but for a 23 year old woman, she’s acting ridiculously immature. Why she’s been switching things up this much, I’ll never know.

And yes, I wish I had taken more screenshots of the original mess because it was absolutely bizarre, but thankfully, some lovely mutuals saw it all go down.

Now some context to everyone who agreed and interacted with her: My fic was originally a x reader in my drafts, but I changed it to feature Maryam because I wanted to introduce more North African/Middle Eastern representation into the fandom.

I wanted to inspire others to do the same, especially considering the Islamophobia and anti-Arab/Muslim hate that’s so often present in this space. 

So, I thought, why not?

Maryam means a lot to me—both as an immigrant and as a woman of color. Especially to Arabs/Middle Eastern or Muslims in general, given the current climate where they’re constantly facing prejudice, stereotypes, and discrimination. I live in a country where they’re not exactly welcomed.

There’s so much negativity surrounding us/them—both in the real world and online. 

It’s hard to feel seen or understood, especially when you’re already carrying so much weight.

Seeing that post and watching it get reblogged so many times—now with over 100 people agreeing with her—reallyupset me. Honestly, it hurt. A lot.

I write as a way to escape, but more importantly, to raise awareness about issues that have affected me and the world around us. It’s my way of shedding light on things that matter—things that have impacted me and others—and it really hurts when it feels like that’s being dismissed.

Maryam is kind of a love letter to anyone who sees pieces of themselves in her because that’s the whole point—she’s meant to be you. 

Fandoms were supposed to be a refuge—a place to connect with others who share your passion, to feel safe and accepted. But too often, they become spaces where that sense of belonging is challenged. It’s heartbreaking when something meant to bring joy and solidarity only seems to amplify the hurt.

I'm an amateur writer sharing my fanfiction for free because I love writing, enjoy seeing others enjoy it, and yes, I want to be noticed—not for the attention, but for the feedback. 

I thrive on seeing others engage with my work. If I don't promote it, nobody will see it, and then I'll lose my motivation. 

And if you don’t like it, you’re free to block me or, even better, filter your tags—something I do most of the time, because I’m mature enough not to make a whole post about it to draw attention to myself or, most importantly, spread hate to a writer.

The amount of times I’ve seen ships in the Batman x reader tags, Batman x OC tags, or just the Battinson or Batman tags that I don’t like, and yet I’ve never made a whole post dragging someone’s fic down just to prove some point or gain attention.

Now, I’m honestly unsure whether I should just unpublish the fic, delete it, or whatever. The hate was/is a bit overwhelming.

Like I said, I wrote this story as a way to escape... AGAIN, maybe I’m being too sensitive, but seeing so many people agreeing with her really felt like a punch in the gut. I was planning to publish it yesterday—I had the whole week off and was so excited to write since I had time on my hands—but now? I’m not so sure anymore.

I do want to thank the people who defended me and sent me messages. It means more than you know.

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read the whole post. 

I’m tagging everyone who’s been interacting with her post so they can finally see the full picture—especially since my last reblog keeps mysteriously disappearing : @mouthfullobats @hwasflower @fangxout @cynniee @crying-inside-lol @obamasbababoy @kiit-ty @himesuedi @lkanggie @navs-bhat @verfuz @wispywisteria-blog @v5b5

I’m sure there’s a lot more but these are the only ones I took screenshots of.

[fitzrove]

I went to see the Kaunas State Musical Theatre production of Elisabeth !!!!!! This was a super inventive and atmospheric non-replica version that I really enjoyed, so I’m writing down some rambly review thoughts down below.

(^ not the rudolf i saw - saw him as slutty lucheni kssk)

TL;DR - excellent production, very pretty, weird in thought-provoking ways. They never go the easy route on anything, it’s a dark fairytale!!! (Btw usually when people say that they mean it’s hot elisatod romance but I don’t mean that XD)

Table of Contents

1. Stage design / sets

2. Costumes

3. Orchestra and singing

4. Ensemble choreographies

5. Characters, relationships

STAGE DESIGN / SETS

RATING: 9/10

First of all - oh my god am I refreshed by a new production not looking like Schönbrunn/Vienna 2012 or like a bad copy of the Vienna original. In Kaunas, the whole colour palette is gothic, muted and dark, with lots of golds, browns and faded blues accented with red, white and gold light. We shift from scenes that look like a faded 19th century painting to dark ones with high contrast (the latter especially in the scenes with Death).

Instead of a file splitting the stage, there’s a kind of “ring” lit up at the edges (which changes colours) that lifts up to create an upper level, and descends to make a pool/mirror. There’s frameless mirrors on the walls, and the floor of the stage - to my knowledge, installed specifically for Elisabeth - can look wet or reflective depending on the scene. Characters sometimes see themselves in the mirror as they look at the floor. I’m not sure I’m explaining this properly but it looks really cool, I don’t really see many new productions go back to the ‘artifice’ and unreality themes reflected in the original set so it was cool to see!!! And of course, prop mirrors carried by the characters also sometimes appear.

There’s a screen at the back of the stage (above where the ring goes) that can be used for projections, and it’s used sparingly but to great effect. Often it’s just a black generally “wet” or fabric-y texture; during both Schattens there’s a misty grey graveyard that looks really cool; Hass is red; during Kitsch Lucheni has no props but we see funnily quick zooms into dinner plates with pictures of the Imperial family on them. It integrates very well into the more solid parts of the set!

Other solid setpieces include Death’s boat (a simple, non-ornate design out of a metallic-ish material with mysterious writing on it) that descends from the ceiling to take people away (no carriage here). It’s complemented by three similarly shaped vertical golden pieces, also with writing on them, which appear in scenes with court power dynamics present.

There’s also a big dark oval thing that appears a few times as a sort of threat from Death/to emphasise his presence. I like the boat more than the pieces, maybe because I don’t fully understand what the pieces mean heheh. I guess it adds to the “unknowable” vibes which I do enjoy, the set is generally very non-literal and symbolic which is cool. The movable parts of the set are extremely versatile: the same four dark pillar blocks can be used for almost any scene (coffee house, Boote in der Nacht, IGNM…) and fit it well, and Elisabeth’s coffin (seen in Prolog) becomes her bed (or some side table she was lying on as a prank XD) and then a garden table.

Another very visible part of the production are the portrait faces !! Members of the ensemble hold up historically accurate pictures of Elisabeth’s relatives (including Rudolf heheh…) with light-up edges during Prolog and Sinking World, which then change into a billion portraits of Elisabeth (which Lucheni can’t stand to see) at the point of each number when they sing her name. I like it so much, it was one of the things I knew about this production that made me interested enough to want to go watch it!

COSTUMES

RATING: 8/10

Disclaimer - I am a historical accuracy hater when it comes to Elisabeth costumes. Firstly, exact reproductions are creatively boring; secondly, it’s not the point of the show; thirdly, in many cases it’s simply not possible for theatres to put excessive resources into a costume seen in one or two scenes in a single show. State-owned repertory theatres in smaller countries reuse like crazy!! So that’s a disclaimer to start with hahaha. I want costumes to look good and make sense, not compare them to irl pictures ksksks.

I really liked Kaunas Elisabeth’s portrait dress, which also served as her Hungarian coronation dress :D It’s like a golden sparkle explosion sksks, which stands out very strongly from the rest of the stage and the simple brown and black dresses of other ladies present - it gets the point across. In general, Elisabeth is the only really colourful member of the cast with her white nightgown, dressing gown and (historically accurate xD) black and white ribbon outfit, which emphasise her uniqueness and isolation; she also wears a completely black outfit towards the end. Rudolf (both adult and child) and Franz Joseph have identical faded blue (coat) + light cream/white costumes (pants), which are SO much better looking than the overly saturated bright cyan things we’ve been seeing in some recent productions skkss.

I was initially sceptical of Death’s outfit (he never changes it save for covering up his tits with a scarf/towel thing when he’s playing doctor sksk) because it looks a lot like the pleather Schönbrunn outfit I don’t like :-D But it’s actually constructed completely differently!! The way the leather jacket falls makes it have more work uniform/ferryman vibes, and then for some slutty reason he has pants, a corset (?) and no shirt underneath XD I think it works, man chest is not my favourite aesthetic but it’s distinctive and fits the storytelling…

LOVED Lucheni’s outfit!! :D To me it’s meant to be basic and everyman-y and it definitely was here, BUT it’s lined with red everywhere inside (and the soles of his shoes are red too), and for reasons that will become apparent later, that made me insane. Also leather pants slay xD

Additionally, I really liked Sophie’s outfits and the Frau Wolf’s salon costumes, with golden hoop skirts that were open at the back. I especially liked the outfit of Frau Wolf herself omg, it’s a Prussian (I assume akaksk) uniform coat draped over the bodysuit+skirt combo that the girls wear. Looks so cool and I really like the idea and symbolism of that! also the frau wolfs I saw were really hot in their role skskksks, special mention here also to Elisabeth’s chief lady-in-waiting on the second day because dommy mo---

At first I was a bit annoyed at some of the ensemble costumes for lacking individual details (the ones in Vienna 92 have so much going on), but tbh the uniform look they went for with them (especially concerning colour palette) really emphasised Elisabeth’s isolation from the court and ordinary people, so I liked that. I guess I appreciate the outfits for how they come together to create the show, even if the individual ones aren’t crazy pretty to me or anything hahah. Although the ones for Elisabeth’s ladies-in-waiting had amazingly pretty bodice/corset parts!!

ORCHESTRA AND SINGING

10/10

I liked the orchestra, it was definitely more of a full “opera house” type sound which I find nicer than musicals with less-than-3-people “bands” lol. Sounded good!! A special note must also be made about the fact that the KSMT seems to cast more flexibly than bigger productions, which is great. I don’t like it when every performer has the same musical theatre/pop combo voice which is too common rn lol, it just seems boring to me. But we got a lot of fuller/lower female voices (than there usually are in musicals) and more operatic male voices in both leading roles and the ensemble, which made for a more interesting overall sound. It wasn’t too operatic either, just the right balance I think.

The soloists were seriously impressive!! Some crazy long notes in Schatten 1, an insane IGNM reprise opt-up from Elisabeth… I really enjoyed the performances despite not understanding any lyrics heheh.

ENSEMBLE / CHOREOGRAPHIES

7/10

I saw the show twice and didn’t like some of the ensemble choreographies first lmao. It’s a very operatic style of directing - the only “proper” dancing is Elisabeth and FJ waltzing, and a “Death’s shadows” dance group that accompanies him in a few numbers - with lots of simple, repeated arm and leg movements, either synchronized or in “waves”. For some songs it fits really well because of the melody - the coffee house scene and Hass come to mind, both were well done - but in others like Alle Fragen I was skeptical upon first viewing.

In Alle Fragen specifically there’s lots of extremely repetitive, non-synchronised crossing themselves, chest-beating (mea culpa), kneeling, etc. At first I found this a bit kitschy/weird, and didn’t really like it. However, I changed my mind when I visited a church the morning before show #2 and actually saw two guys do the exact same thing upon entering it!!!!!! It’s a reference to actual self-blessing rituals, at least among Lithuanian Catholics, which seems really inventive heheh - making a localized reference the main target audience would really notice/understand !!! So upon second viewing, I ended up liking it.

CHARACTERS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Probably the most important aspect heheh. In the two shows that I saw, Franz Joseph, Elisabeth, Sophie and several ensemble members were played by different performers each day, but Rudolf, Death and Lucheni were the same each time. Gonna ramble about each character one by one I guess kskssk.

The two Elisabeths I saw (Marija Arutiunova and Gabrielė Bielskytė) were very different!!! Gabrielė was a more “traditional” Elisabeth, a bit melancholy from the start and becoming further so as the story progresses. I enjoyed her performance a lot and her vocal performance was flawless. Marija, on the other hand, I was concerned about at first because she’s SO enthusiastic (almost annoyingly hahah) in “Wie du”, practically bouncing off the floor hahah. But that actually ended up working really well. A common worry people have about newer Elisabeth productions is that she comes across too innocent and Disney Princess-y; from the first number I was afraid that would happen, but to my surprise, that was not at all the case. She plays a really strong character arc and the Elisabeth of act 2 was practically unrecognisable to me from Elisabeth in act 1. She was so full of joy and life at the start and her environment just sucks all of that out of her!!! It’s such a cool way to play it and I ended up really liking that.

They do a really clever thing in “Prolog” and “Wie du”. Prolog has Elisabeth’s body on top of a stone coffin under a white sheet, as a setpiece. At the start of Wie du we find out that it was Elisabeth herself the whole time - she emerges from beneath the sheet and spooks her dad lmao. Something something symbolism and smooth scene transition XD

Much like Marija’s Elisabeth characterisation, I was also skeptical of the Elisatod in this production at first XD Especially with how Marija played it - again, enthusiasm. The blocking between them is occasionally very POTO music of the night skksks. BUT (as a known hater of romantic elisatod skks) the touchiness actually worked for me because of how Death was portrayed (more on that later) and also because of how their relationship played out.

Elisabeth, as a teenager, seems fascinated by death as some romanticised adventure (one among many other adventures to be had) - she’s not afraid of it, finds beauty in it, etc. A very realistically adolescent point of view, also present in Der Letzte Tanz (though it’s much less gentle this time)!! But by the time her first child dies (Schatten 1), it dawns on her how horrible and cruel and unfair death (Death?) can be - and this is perfectly portrayed by Death handing her a knife in this scene and acting as if it’s totally normal and he’s helping her somehow. She’s completely broken down and distraught while holding it and snaps out of it when FJ comes up to her and hugs her. Such a strong turning point!! And he offers her the knife several other times. Overall I really see this as a symbolic relationship (my favourite type), Death is not at all “some guy” but a personified concept that Elisabeth has a constantly changing relationship to.

Also - the prologue and the prelude to DSF (whenever the judge is speaking) have a young Elisabeth (literal child actress) coiling the “red string of fate” around her hands, mouthing along the judge’s lines. So neat!! In the prologue, Death descends in his boat because she slowly pulls him in (he’s holding the string in his hand). And right before Lucheni goes to stab the older Elisabeth, the child stops him by laughing in his face… mm crunchy symbolism >:) he’s haunted heheh

Death himself (Egidijus Bavikinas) is a weirdo XD I called him “silly rabbit” at intermission and the name stuck aksksksl. He’s good at his job (quite kind to people when they die) but doesn’t really get most human concepts even though he sings Rondo and says in the prolog that he loved Elisabeth ksks. He’s a bit outraged/genuinely surprised when Elisabeth marries FJ, and genuinely perplexed when Elisabeth doesn’t kill herself despite repeated friendly suggestions skksks. He doesn’t seem ever to do cruel things intentionally, he’s just there to put people on his boat (except Rudolf for some reason skks). I think my interpretation of him might be slightly impeded by not understanding the lyrics - he just seems aloof (in a neutral, non-mean way) even at moments when I know he’s singing stuff like “you love me more than you love your husband” hahah. But yeah, I think he’s fine, he sings well and is occasionally unintentionally funny which entertains me enough.

Lucheni is a SLUT xD Martynas Beinaris normally plays Rudolf but has apparently been mainly Lucheni for quite a bit now, and I had him as Lucheni both times. I guess the right word is “flamboyant”, very energetic and with lots of flair, it was always a great joy to watch him go. I liked the way he says “Death” in the prologue skls, seems a bit obsessed… And of course, I can’t not mention the ending of the show!!!!!!! Elisabeth and Death get into Death’s boat together, it starts to lift up, and slowly we see that Lucheni has hanged himself with the red thread of fate that binds the two, and his last act is to reach up towards the boat, eternally unable to join them…………. the symbolism… gay repression... or something… love it!! (Reminder that Lucheni has red all over the more hidden parts of his costume… red inner linings of the coat, red soles… the gay repression interpretation writes itself skskls. Obsessed)

Franz Joseph is there adlskks. He was very good both days, I liked a moment the second day (with Raimondas Baranauskas) between him and Elisabeth when they almost hold/touch hands after Rudolf dies :’) and he was very excited to hang out with Elisabeth kssk, he’s just giggling and running around in Bad Ischl which was pretty fun (though he puts on the imperial mask pretty quickly after).

The FJ and Sophie relationship was soo well drawn! There was a symbolic thing where he gets dressed in the lead-up to “Jedem gibt er das seine” - attendants do the rest, but she puts white gloves on him as she tells him to be cold and hard. In Bellaria, he angrily takes his gloves off and throws them on the floor; Death picks them up and wears them to lead her offstage, perhaps as a form of comfort? Really cool!

Rudolf (Jurgis Jarašius) is my meow meow… he takes one big swig of a wine bottle during the song right before Schatten 2 and then falls facedown on the floor and has to be picked up by Death (indirectly - Death makes his shadow angel people put their hands all over Rudolf to do group bondage on him two separate times skslls, yay xD). After Schatten he falls on his face again and FJ walks up to him singing to him (Rudolf I’m so angry with you) and looks vaguely disappointed WHILE RUDOLF IS STILL LYING ON THE FLOOR and Rudolf has to slowly get up while FJ disapproves kskslsl. He has big fluffy hair and he’s gay but doesn’t want to know what that is and is vaguely scared of it skksks, just has weird obsessive feelings about tits out leather coat man (he stares a lot and tries to run to him, leans in as if wanting to get closer, but Death keeps rebuffing him and tossing him away skks). The todolf is weird and indirect in this production, there’s a quick kiss that lands somewhere in the cheek-lip area ksksks and a repeat of the head-hug/caress that Death does to Elisabeth. It’s weird and freaky and kind of cool lmao. After Rudolf shoots himself, Death closes his eyes for him, which is a pretty sweet moment. Also on the second day he was rage-weeping during Spiegel which I really like.

The Mayerling staging in this production is great!! After Spiegel, Rudolf tries to run out of the room but is blocked by a mirror (held by one of Death’s shadows); he tries again, but one by one the mirrors surround him from all sides and he’s just stuck in this small narrow space with nowhere to go, just forced to face himself over and over. Very piercing and accurate allegory for mental illness!!! Enjoyed. Put him in the torment nexus heheheh

I guess that’s all of my most important thoughts… :D Will add if I think of something else!

[fizziepopangel]

A Fizziepop Take: Let’s talk about the anti-Blitz bash

I’m still fairly new to Reddit, but I saw this post on it and I wanna talk about it. No hate to the OG Reddit poster or anyone else who shares this opinion, I just have some thoughts about it, so let’s get into it because I actually get the “Fuck Blitz Party”.

Ok, so we all know that Blitz, while being a definite fan favorite in the show, and the shows literal namesake, Blitz is bad at love, BUT in order to talk about why this party is actually “necessary” in a way, we first need to talk about Blitz and his ideas of what love is vs what kind of “love” he himself deserves. Within the fragmented bits of flashbacks and from what we’ve actually heard from the mouths of the characters, we’ve been able to start piecing together backstories for some of them…. But as of right now, I wanna look at the bits and pieces of Blitz’s past that we’ve been slowly accumulating throughout the last 2 seasons because we get to see a lot of what made him the way he is now. Starting off strong, we have an abusive father, a best friend turned enemy, a sister gone no contact, and the tragic death of a mother…. Yikes. Thats like 4 tiers on a tragedy cake, which is why it so heavily influences how he experiences love as an adult; trauma changes the brain chemistry, meaning that from the first time his father spoke down to him and treated him as lesser than Barbie and/or Fizz, the imp’s perception of himself and the world around him began to shift, and with each new trauma came a new sense of everything within and around him. Within his formative years, we see him lose the 3 close relationships (his mom, his sister, and his best friend), and it happens literally one after the other after the other, which in his mind solidified the ideas of worthlessness his father planted in him at such a young age. 

What does this all have to do with Blitz’s exes hating him enough to throw a party about it in the current day? I know a lot of people hate this phrase (myself included honestly), but “hurt people, hurt people”. It’s a cheap line, I know, but there’s not too many ways to explain it that don’t boil down to this idea at it’s core when it comes to Blitz…. But here’s the thing: Blitz never truly wants to hurt anyone, he just kinda does it and even he doesn’t understand completely why he feels the need to fuck up every good thing he seems to get his hands on. On the outside looking in, we as an audience know that Blitz is bad at love because he’s been conditioned to equate his worth with what he can give/what he can do (think of how his dad manipulated him into stealing from stolas, or no one seemed to laugh during his jokes in the circus), and this mentality strongly affected how he’s able to cultivate relationships now because he’s still constantly looking at all his relationships as transactional because it’s the only way he believes he deserves to be loved by anyone. A lot of people say that you can’t love someone until you love himself, meaning that Blitz’s own self hatred is holding him back from meaningful relationships, which is true, but it’s less a case of the imp being unable to love and more a case of him being uncomfortable with intimacy and therefore not entirely knowing how to accept or show it. We that man has so much love in his body to give to those he surrounds himself with that it is almost sickening, but because he’s not comfortable with receiving the same type of loving energy he puts into others, when it happens and someone shows a genuine interest in him past just sex, he panics and goes on the offense. Think of him like a dog who’s been attacked by other dogs; after the first time, they might be a little scared, after the second, they’ll probably start to become a little more skittish and on edge when other dogs approach them even if its someone they once enjoyed being near, but by the third and fourth times its happened, that dog will start viewing every other dog as a potential threat and they’ll react by being the aggressor because “if I hurt them first, they can’t hurt me”.

I know by this point, everyone is probably still like “Fizzie, why does this mean that his exes hate him enough to throw a party like that?” and “How did he date that many people?”

Simply put: Blitz didn’t “date” all those people. If I had to guess, I would honestly say he probably only ever had real relationships with about a quarter of the people at the party. Why is that? Because I Blitz used sex as a coping mechanism for most of his life… if I were to go based solely on vibes, I think this likely started because his father realized he could rent his son out for more “playdates” after what happened with Stolas when they were children, meaning that he would have equated sex with being desired, and I think for a long time being desired in any way was better than not being wanted at all in his eyes… But with his fear of intimacy and being left to rot after having fallen for someone, I think he took the hurt them before they hurt me approach, so I think a lot of the people there were in a mostly one-sided relationship with him, one that Blitz never truly viewed as romantic intimate relationships, hence why he says he can’t believe he’s fucked that many people rather than dated that many. Looking at things from this perspective, it would make a lot more sense since Blitz not viewing most relationships as exclusive would mean he potentially had his connections and fun with multiple people within the same timeline. Do I think Blitz is a cheater? Not by nature, but I also think that when he was using this mentality anyone who wanted to have a relationship with him where he didn’t wander from their bed would have had to explicitly specify that to him, and I think that a lot of these exes either assumed he would hold their relationship to the same standards they did or, when they would bring it up or mention the word ‘love’ in anything more than a joking manner, he would cut and run, likely doing something in the end to show them that he was not worth the love they attempted to pour into him, like he did with Verosika.

Assuming this is the way things went down with the exes at the party, it’s likely that a lot of them never truly got the closure they needed to fully heal from hurricane Blitz… And though I don’t think he ever meant to hurt this many people to that point, I think it was a sort of wakeup call to him to see that not only have these people trauma bonded over him to the point where the party is almost like a support group for these people, but it also opened his eyes to how Stolas felt about him because he was at this party to essentially drink the heartbreak away for the night. Despite the end of Stolitz being heartbreaking, I think that the party scenes were necessary to the beginning of Blitz’s personal growth story-line, and the potential beginning of a better version of the Stolitz we all love.

Anyway… as always this is only the humble opinion of a simple Fizziepop, and I’d love to know what other people think about the annual gathering of his exes to trauma bond over one man. I personally love the way it plays into Stolas and Blitz’s  breakup and healing arcs…. And also I’m a pisces so I do tend to be a lil dramatic sometimes and live for things and people as dramatic and extra as I tend to be.

[diezmil10000]

i don't feel like there's much to say about my art improvement this year. however, in 2023, i wrote a long retrospective about my art in which i mentioned my goals for 2024, so let's see if i achieved all of them ^w^

"so for 2024 i want to study some stuff i feel i'm still lacking in. i think i've always had a good eye for composition, but i've never actually pushed it in my finished illustrations - they depend a lot on the poses because i've always been prioritising drawing over everything else. that needs to change this year."

this was actually one of the first things i did in 2024. just around this time of last year, i was in the process of making 7 fullbody illustrations for class, depicting my ocs from a visual novel i still haven't finished. i never shared them outside of artfight (😂) because i get shy talking about my ocs in public, but they are still fire and almost no one reads these posts anyway so...

i had to use so many references for these pictures, from magazine covers to fashion to layout design. i think this was the first time i was actually putting into practise all the knowledge i had learned in my degree, as up to that point i was getting through it kinda passively.

overall, my 2024 was filled with great compositions. who could have known that paying attention to it would lead to better illustrations, right? here are some other highlights i'm still very proud of:

that leblise piece is probably my favorite piece of art i ever did period. so simple yet so delicious and full of symbolism. the aqours fanart is based on an S shape, from "sunshine", and i felt so smart for coming up with it even though it's really simple. and then there's kanadiamari as always - what i really like about that fanart is that i was able to put my design knowledge into good use again.

"i also want to get better at drawing characters from extreme angles. i've always felt like my poses are a bit flat and i think i can study photos taken with wide angle lenses to improve at that."

before we get into this let me remind everyone that i trace all the time. sometimes i wake up and forget how to draw, so i open an app called Magic Poser and play with the 3D dolls until i have a decent base for what i'm picturing in my mind. but it wasn't until last year that i started pushing the angles of those scenes so that i could get the best of them.

of course, you need to have good skills in order for your traced pieces not to look like shit. i can work with anime models with innacurate anatomy precisely because i already know where the muscles sit on the body. the suselle artwork is more referenced than traced, in the sense that i first sketched the pose, then re-created it in 3D, then traced it and then re-sketched it. the things i do for yuri orz.

okay this was kind of a tangent. i did improve on this particular point but the reason isn't that i got better at perspective, i just made better use of the tools i have - the result is the same and it's positive, so i'll take it as an achievement!

"and of course i still want to draw faster, which is something i've always struggled with. […] i'm still too slow for the kind of artstyle i want to achieve, which includes having a looser lineart and less details in irrelevant areas of the drawings. i think that overdoing the lineart actually hurts my illustrations, because everything ends up pulling the viewer's attention with the same energy. i also think messy artstyles are neat."

this is a tricky subject. in my 2023 post i showed some examples of what i wanted to keep doing in terms of lineart, and while i certainly got better at not overdoing it, i'm still far from that goal. definitely something i need to keep an eye out for, as i really like it when i manage to get loose with my art.

not much to say here except that i'm sorry i never posted these farcille sketches. they are 12 in total and the rest of them are porn and i'm too shy to share them with the world. also those furry guys i draw a lot (twice) are me and my and my best friend's fursonas, in case anyone is curious.

"as for the stuff i like about my current artstyle, i definitely want to keep the way i color!! and by that i mean the method i have for applying filters that make my colors pop. i could maybe play more with textures too."

i actually think i went backwards here. what i do now is more visually coherent, but my 2024 doesn't shine for the way i use colors in comparison to the previous year. it probably happened because i got too comfortable with the way i post-process my illustrations nowadays, in contrast with how experimental i was when i started playing with filters. a shame, truly, but not a huge downgrade.

"i also like the way i depict intimacy, and people have praised it too. i don't think i'll ever change the content of my art, i eat breathe and speak in yuri. if anything, there are still some ways of conveying feelings that i haven't been able to draw because i lack the skill to do so, but i'll keep trying ;)"

not sure about this one either, but i know it's just because i didn't draw a lot in 2024. among finishing my degree and final thesis, organizing stuff for aqours when they came to spain and preparing for my current job, i didn't have much time for yuri brainrot. my best drawings were dunmeshi and lgts fanarts, and i'm glad i got into both of these pieces of media because they still warm my heart today :)

i'm very proud of all 3 of these artworks, especially the frebkuchen one, i cooked so much there. maybe this skill of mine (the ability to depict intimacy) is the one that's closest to mastery among the ones i have, and that's why i don't see much improvement.

overall, 2024 was a good year, but not my peak. i can't rate it just in terms of improvement, but i can't deny that i like my 2023 artworks more than my current ones either. i think i'm on the right path, and while i don't have any art resolutions for 2025 i hope i can bring better art to the world from now on.

thank you for reading until the end if you did, and i hope you have a nice year!! <3

2024 art summary!! lots of oc art this year :) i also started painting digitally and it's sooooo fun~~~

(template by PEPPERTODE on deviantart)

[hinamie]

I don't want to regret the way I lived

[kitsunespawz]

Morning on the Polar Tang

Background and canon compliant version:

[shiitanki]

Couple caught outside grocery store, Twin Lakes, Alaska (2005)

[tigreblvnc]

I absolutely love meeting new matchup writers on this platform, it's like watching a seed emerge from the ground and bloom into a flower.

First things first: thank you for reaching out to me for this exchange! I’m always happy to cross paths with new people.

I've been matched with Karasu countless times; I think he's easily my most frequent match alongside Kaiser. I completely understand why, since we share many traits, including analysis and sassiness, among others. I imagine Karasu and I would have a relationship filled with teasing and funny moments, balanced by serious challenges.

Did I mention that I'm in love with his voice in the anime?

Anyway, I really enjoyed this matchup. Let me know what name I should call you by if you ever want to do another matchup with me in the future.

As for the feedback you asked about regarding the quality of your matchup:

I don't know about which specific aspects you're aiming to improve: the length of your matchup? The depth of your dynamic analysis? The credibility of your headcanons?

When I think about which character to match someone with, I focus on their shared and contrasting traits. "What would make the relationship interesting and relevant?" From this foundation, I dive deeper into analyzing the pros and cons and finding ways to balance the overall dynamic. I'm naturally analytical, so putting my thoughts into words comes easily to me, and this approach often makes my matchups feel very structured and logic-driven.

Your writing style, on the other hand, leans more into concrete situations—what Karasu and I would actually do together. You explore our dynamics through slice-of-life scenarios, which is really interesting because it creates a tangible and contextual environment for the relationship. Headcanons like these are what immerse the reader most in a piece of writing, so this is definitely a strength of yours. Keep leaning into this to maintain consistency and realism in your matchups.

If you have a more specific question about how to improve, feel free to ask. I'll be happy to help. Thanks again!

@tigreblvnc — matchup exchange

I ship you with…

Karasu Tabito

🐦‍⬛ As soon as I read your info, I instantly thought of him then again when do I not

🐦‍⬛When Karasu first met you in Blue Lock, he was instantly both drawn and scared off by you

🐦‍⬛Both of you appreciate intellectual people and can’t stand mediocrity, so you understand each others’ directness and bluntness towards such people

🐦‍⬛however, you two are more than simply similar to each other. you bond over your pursuit of knowledge, and push each other towards it

🐦‍⬛in different ways, though — karasu’s pursuit is more physical and in relation to his sport such as tactics whereas yours is mental and cognitive

🐦‍⬛that said, you guys have balance with each other with you providing an understanding of mental health and his physical, and share that with each other to further both of your pursuits

🐦‍⬛in turn, you understand each other :)

🐦‍⬛Karasu’s type is literally someone smart, so whenever you go on a tangent about how irritating you find people who lack intelligence, your love for psychology, or anything of the sort, he just leans his head on his palm, hanging on your every word

🐦‍⬛on the other hand, you two have had more than one debate that shifts from teasing to genuine thought in two seconds

🐦‍⬛everyone else in blue lock CANNOT keep up with you when you guys get into that flow

🐦‍⬛he admires how defensive you are about your interests, your friends, etc because he considers it as yet another way that you go beyond the average

🐦‍⬛he picks up on the fact that you hate anything that slows you down — so he does tease you by putting his weight on you and laughing as you tell him off

🐦‍⬛when you get really annoyed, though, he turns it into a hug so that you’ll accept his apologies and you always do because physical touch makes you weak and the mf knows that

🐦‍⬛outside of blue lock, the favorite couple activity shared by the two of you is him practicing outside while you study psychology — or so he thinks. sometimes, though, you try to study the tactics that go into soccer more so that you can be more supportive. that way, you can spend time with him and occasionally comment on something he could improve on or watch out for.

little note: this is literally my first time doing this!! i hope i did well, i was pouring over all the info you gave me haha. also, ik you like kaiser but i haven’t read the manga yet so i literally couldn’t think of a better character than him, yall match so perfectly omg. anyways enough yapping hope you enjoyed 🐦‍⬛

[cathalbravecog]

i'm the antonymph of the internet

[britneyshakespeare]

i love bratz as dolls but i fuckin hate mga as a brand. fuckin idiots

[autumnrory]

woooo my niece took 5 of my 13 lego sets, one of which was one of the three larger ones, so that's one huge box out of the way and i'm just glad she wanted them because like they ARE twenty years old and they look fine ofc but sometimes kids aren't gonna want stuff that isn't new and shiny ya know, but she did seem to want everything which would've been fine with me but i knew there was no way they would take all that with them, and at least i still have stuff of my own to sell, plus should get at least a cut of my brother's stuff for doing the inventory and putting together that stuff that wasn't already done