#there are so many characters in mcd holy shit

[snekverse]

MCD height chart and style guide V3!

Not 100% sold on these designs, but with this finished I at least have a jumping off point for when I inevitably revamp them :)

As always please ask away if you have any question or comments about their designs/the design choices I made, I'm always happy to chat!

[fortunemars]

Hehe I get that, I am a forever garrence shipper bc it just makes more sense to me that they'd end up together instead of with aphmau, especially because I'm actually a fan of changing the narrative to show the bad stuff aphmau does as bad instead of brushing it off

Bc she does some bad stuff! She is absolutely not innocent of ,,any,, of her crimes but since she's the MC and also ACTUAL IRENE no one really says anything about it or teaches her to be better. They all just accept it and move on bc if they don't then they become an enemy to Aphmau and the PD alliance (which ive just realised spells PDA)

Paaaaaage break!

And yeah tbh I'd be the same way in aphmau's position (abt the love triangle), especially bc Garroth and Laurence (Laurence especially bc jesson think flirting must basically be harassment as we see with many characters- not even the women are safe!) are kind of pushy with their love.

Like laurence is the obvious example here, he is constantly flirting, doesn't really take no for an answer*, gets in her personal space, gets jealous and violent over other men being the same way, etc etc. he also has a couple scenes where he makes it seem like aphmau doesn't really have a choice between the two** and that is freaky! I wouldn't want to be in a situation where I'm made to choose between two people and am punished if I pick outside of them or if I stay single. It's an uncomfortable situation and I'd be upset too, I'd tell them to fuck off but aphmau never really does.

*which is just such shit writing and not in his character, he has several serious scenes where he apologises and says that he won't do it again AND THEN DOES IT AGAIN

**example- the forest scene right after the arc above where he basically says "Garroth has to reveal his feelings or you're mine" which always threw me off bc he basically implies that they only reason she isn't "his" is bc Laurence is holding off for Garroth which is FUCKING GROSS! He does this several times too. Like "well you aren't taken so I'm basically entitled to your hand" is so creepy and I hate jesson cause they basically condone it with how many characters act the same. Mostly in mystreet but still. Grody.

Garroth is similar in a really vague way? With how he's written in some scenes he's more like,, (redditor voice) "wow, you didn't pick me? Leave then, they always do!" (Mostly after he escapes the Irene dimension, he acts like he's entitled to aphmau's attention and trust and he gets mean when she doesn't immediately listen to him). This does not include the betrayal arc right before season 1 ends bc he has reason to have acted that way. I don't remember where it's said but I think somewhere someone reveals that Garroth had just told Laurence how he felt and larbo said that he'd give Garroth a chance to reveal his feelings before he swooped in but then immediately afterwards Zane + co made a mirage of larbo and aph kissing. Awkward...

But other times Garroth gets mad over aph "letting men talk to her that way" ("that way" being flirting) and aph always brushes him off with a laugh and it kinda ends there. But sometimes like in the Irene dimension when Garroth is finally telling aph abt his feelings and kinda just going "I have to tell you in case i die or never see you again" (which actually?? Might have been her first kiss?? Bc first garbo in Irene dimension scene is before werewolf arc) it feels like there's this pressure on aph to,, basically say she loves him or crush his dreams and send him off to die. Which I don't think is Garroth's intention but yk. Kinda intense lmao

Do I think it's good that they are pressuring her into choosing one of them and getting upset when she doesn't? No! Do I think it's just toxic jesson writing? Yeah! Does it even feel in character for either of them? No! Nor is it consistent enough to make sense!

Am I interested in seeing someone write it into their versions of Garroth and Laurence as a genuine flaw they have and have it be denounced, worked on, or turned into a new way to view them?

ABSOLUTELY!!!

Personally I'd rather rework it because it doesn't seem in character for how I write them but I'd like to see someone take the characters as they are with everything they say and write them having consequences or feelings of guilt or even NO guilt about it!!! If you can work it into their characters and make it make sense or at least be consistent in the character then PLEASE!!!

I will allow my blorbos to be bad people... As a treat... <3

^ i say as if they aren't actually bad ppl sometimes

^ and I even write them as bad ppl sometimes too

^ give them some toxic traits! For the funnies! They don't have to fit into the box of what other ppl think they do! Fanfiction can be whatever you want!

P.s. I wouldn't hate Aaron so much if he had actually gotten character development before he??? Died and then got taken over by shad??? If there was smthn there to justify or explain the stuff he caused then I'd actually like him, I probably wouldn't even be mad at him getting with aph bc then he'd have a real reason to! Instead of whatever the hell we got!!!

P.p.s. if you have any religious trauma (or generally good!) fics for any of the cast I am making intense grabby hands in your direction (i am starving for motivation to finish my fics rn)

@panicataphmausinsanity okay so Zane HC's LETS GOOOOOOOO

Before we start trigger warning for like, child abuse and torture and shit. Seriously this gets dark. Zane redemption must come at a price >:D

So. Something interesting to me in regards to Zane is how in MCD, He's like, this evil, terrible human being, but in Mystreet, he's like, a semi functional human being who can be a NOT bad person and NOT do bad things. And so I got to thinking.

I don't think Zane was born a bad person.

Personally, I kind of hate the way Jess wrote Zane. Like, yes, evil for the sake of evil is great and all, but like. In season one and two, Zane was this overarching antagonist who was always one step ahead of the cast and plotting and having a good time being a paice of shit.

And then season 3 comes around and now he's a shadow knight, on the run, has PTSD...

Look, I'm not knocking the guy for having PTSD. I'm just saying that the way it's portrayed kind of makes him seem like a whimpery coward. AGAIN, NOT KNOCKING PTSD!!

I think the position that Zane found himself in season 3 was a PERFECT set up for a redemption arc and it makes me SO MAD that it didn't happen.

So I guess I have to do it myself apparently -_-

I've been thinking a lot about Zane. I don't want him to stop being evil. Not right away. So we keep what happened in the first two seasons the same. He's a cackling maniac that has killed a shit ton of people and is on his father's payroll.

And then he dies.

(skill issue lol)

Anyway, Zane is dead. But he's also Zane, so of course he weasels his way out of being dead. And then he gets tortured and is subjected to the same suffering he condemned so many others to yada yada yada PTSD bleh.

Everything seems to be the same so far.

But then he breaks out if the nether. Still, we're on track, right?

He gets captured, he gets expedited to Phoenix Drop, he gets interrogated, it's all the same.

But here we find a canon divergence. Instead of being absolute dumbasses, they don't bring him into the nether. Let's scrap that plot point entirely.

Instead, we're going to let Zane bake in prison for a while!

Here are the main issues that make Zane irredeemable.

1. He's killed like, a shit ton of people, for funsies ig

2. He killed Vylad.

3. He destroyed Aaron's village.

Let's keep those things in mind.

So he's in prison. While in prison, Garroth starts to visit him (along with Travis but shhhh we'll get to him another day) and just. You know. Be angry.

Garroth has seen Zane as a spoiled brat his entire life. He's always been their father's favorite. He's always had everything handed to him on a silver platter. He's always been willing to do whatever it takes for power. He's greedy. He's psychotic. Garroth hates him.

But Zane is Garroth's brother. And Garroth is the type of golden retriever, gold hearted, kind type of character to still love his brother even if he hates him.

That doesn't mean he goes in and is like, nice to him though. Nope. Garroth goes to visit him and nine times out of ten it devolves into a screaming match where Zane antagonizes him the entire time and Garroth yells at him for being a shitty human being.

And then one day Phoenix Drop is attacked and Zane escapes.

They track him down eventually. When they find him, they strike a deal with him. Due to Irene related shenanigans they need his expertise as a scholar of Irene to figure out some more stuff for Aphmau. In exchange, they'll protect him from the Shadow Lord (who he pissed off by stealing one of his soul fragments lol Zane behavior).

Eventually they're able to establish a rapore with Zane. Garroth still gets a migraine whenever they have a conversation. Vylad still refuses to speak to him (oh btw he's visiting from his nether revolution vacation just so u know) and Aphmau still wants to tear out his guts for killing the love of her life or whatever, but he becomes manageable. They can like, stand him. A little bit. Slightly.

And then Zianna gets kidnapped or whatever. So they go rescue her. But when they get back to Phoenix Drop they forget to mention the fact that Zane is like. There and in the wild and not currently killing entire villages worth of people.

So Zianna rolls up to Phoenix Drop and gets jumpscared by her youngest son and also, notably, Zane is NOT happy to see her. He shuts the front door in her face. It's hilarious even though Garroth doesn't think of it that way.

So, now we have our key players all in one place. Garroth, Vylad, Zane, and Zianna.

Let's say they have to all go find an artifact toghether or something and they need Zianna there because it's related to something she knows and they need Zane there because of Irene lore reasons. they go on this mission. One day, they sit and set up for the night, set up bedrolls, whatever. They're lounging around the fire and talking when Vylad eventually mentions his time as a shadow knight in the nether and something about torture.

Zane blinks, and, having not been included in the conversation initially, buts it to say,

"Oh, please. Don't tell me getting tortured by those amatures was DISTRESSING for you. I would have thought father's methods would have given you thicker skin."

The others bristle and start scolding him, of course, because Zane is like, the reason Vylad became a shadow knight in the first place. But Vylad himself, who is very observant and hard to antagonize, latches into something Zane said.

"Methods? What methods?" He says. He says it sharply, too.

Of course, Zane doesn't pick up on this. He just rolls his eyes.

"Don't tell me you forgot. Father had a whole floor dedicated to torture and loved collecting new methods from around the region. I think he even had a historian employed who would research for him..."

"What?" Garroth says, stunned out of his anger.

Zianna has gone silent. So has everyone else, and now they're watching with baited breaths.

"So what? What would that have to do with me?"

And for the first time that they've ever seen, Zane looks... Puzzled.

"What, did he go easy on you? Didn't you talk back to him all the time? Once, after just asking him a question, he had two of my nails pulled. Shadow Knight torture was child's play in comparison," he shrugs, then takes a bite out of his stale price of bread.

There's silence.

Zane looks back at all of them, confused and now kind of pissed off. He looks like he usually does when he feels like he's about to be scolded for saying something crass. Except, that's not what happens. Instead, Vylad looks him in the eye for the first time since Zane killed him, and with the most emotion they've ever heard from him, says,

"What?"

Zane hums.

"Come on. Don't play dumb. He hated you. Im sure he must have sent you to the "torture basement" at least once. You got on his nerves constantly,"

Garroth makes an aborted movement, like he's going to stand up and rush him, but Vylad stops him with a flick of his hand. And then Vylad starts doing what he does best. Interrogating him.

So remember that list, right? Let's reframe a few things.

Zane was not the favorite child. Garroth was.

Garte was a paice of shit. Garte hated Vylad. But he also hates Zane. Why wouldn't he? Vylad was his wife's affair child, sure, but Zane, Zane was Zianna's spitting image.

When Zane was little, he used to take snails and out them in the grass after it rained. He uses to clamor for his mother's pastries just like his brothers. He was a normal child, and he was NOT born a psychopath.

But Garte had a thought, one day.

Wouldn't it be funny... If he made his wife think he WAS one?

Wouldn't it be funny to punish her that way? Wouldn't it be funny to turn Zane into a terrible person, and have her think it was for no reason? Make her think that she birthed a psychopath? How much would it hurt her? How much would she weep?

Garte used to punish Zane for Vylad's joy. One of Vylad's laughs would equal one slap to the face. One side remark in defence of their mother would equal one hour locked in his father's study closet in his office.

Garte turns Zane against himself brothers. And the best part in his mind?

He makes Zane believe that they know about all of it.

He tells Zane that his mother knows about it. That his brothers don't care that he's beaten. That Vylad does things so he gets punished on purpose.

Zane grows up thinking that his brothers probably go through this too. He grows up thinking that his mother just doesn't love him. And so he doesn't say a thing.

Garte starts having him tortured instead of superficially physically abused? He says nothing.

Garte makes him become a priest of Okasis even though the consequence of failing the academy is death? He says nothing.

Garte would encourage Zane to blugeon animals to death and bring them to Zianna and laugh at her horrified face from afar. Garte encourages Zane to say psychotic things while they're eating dinner, and watches as his family becomes more and more convinced Zane is a monster.

Until Zane is one.

But this reframes a few things.

The people Zane killed? It was under orders. He eventually became his father's right hand man. Most of his overarching goals have been in service of his father.

For Aaron's village, we'll stick a pin in that one, but long story short, Aaron's village had been planning a coup that night under his wife's orders. Zane had them killed under his father's orders so they could eliminate them as political neighbors. He let Aaron live out of pity.

And Vylad.

Basically, remember when I said that Garte used to punish Zane according to Vylad's actions?

One day, Vylad gets into an explosive argument with Garte defending Zianna. And Garte, again, without the other's knowing, has Zane tortured. Except this time it's for a WEEK STRAIGHT.

So when Zane gets out. He's. Very unstable.

And then he comes across Vylad in a semi secluded area.

And Vylad is acting like he did nothing, and all he's ever done is make Zane suffer, and Zane hates him hates him HATES HIM--

And so he snaps. And he kills him.

Keep in mind, though, Zane thinks this is all normal. He doesn't realize that killing his own brother has traumatized him. He doesn't realize that he's a victim of abuse. He doesn't realize that what his dad did is not okay because he THINKS HIS FAMILY KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED, and if they didn't contradict his abuse, then this must be normal. He thinks that Vylad has probably been tortured too. He thinks Garroth is their father's favorite because in his mind he's determined that Garroth not receiving any attention from their father is a GOOD thing because ATTENTION EQUALS TORTURE to him.

And this reframes a few things. His constant bid for power? It's not greed, it's DESPERATION. Power makes him feel safe. Hurting others makes him feel powerful because that's how his father had power over him.

His highly volatile and violent personality? It's l he's ever known. Do you have ANY idea what torture could do to a child? He has severe PTSD. Like, severe and repressed and his outburst are more common when he's uncomfortable or anxious or experiencing any negative emotion, which is often.

Garte took Zane's empathy from him. Turned him against his family. Made him into a monster. With these types of characters, I imagine it would probably be very difficult for them to redevelop their emotions and empathy because if they do that, they would have to face their whole mountain of trauma and the guilt of all the lives they've ruined.

I think eventually, after a lot of work, Zane does eventually regain his empathy. It probably finally sinks in during a small gathering. His mother makes her famous cake. Zane has long gotten used to being excluded during these sorts of things, but then...

His mother slides a plate of cake right in front of him.

Strawberry.

His favorite.

And she smiles at him.

This is probably after they found out about Garte being a peice of shit. Maybe a few months.

All Zane has ever wanted is to be loved. Maybe he didn't know it, but when he takes a bite of his mother's strawberry cake for the first time in decades and the nostalgic taste registers in his brain, something snaps.

And he becomes human again.

And he realizes:

Oh.

I'm a person.

I'm a murderer.

I'm a monster.

LMAO WAS THIS COHERENT SORRY PANIC I TRIED MY BEST I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE OSIBWIBDIBSIBU

[striderepiphany]

My favorite reddie fics masterpost

I have an absolutely insane number of reddie fics saved in my bookmarks for how recently I joined this fandom so I decided to share my absolute favorites with you. Please give these authors some love and let me know which ones are you've read and enjoyed!

the year of the goat and your kid back by derryfacts2

1 chapter, 14,838 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: The day you get the most important email of your life, there’s a new black skidmark on the wall of the stairwell, and you know exactly whose fault it is. “Margaret,” you intone to the harried, wild-haired woman in the lobby. She sighs at you as she tries to jimmy her mail key loose. “I know.” It wouldn’t even be that bad if the kid would just skateboard outside. Or get good at skateboarding. Either of those things. Maggie’s a nice lady, though, and she’s had “trying my best” scribbled all over her since they moved into 6B maybe eight years ago. So you try not to be a dick, even if her son is a gold-standard pain in the ass. He’s good for three things: smells, noise, and reminding you how big Eddie must be by now.

The first It fic I read that made me go "holy shit, this is fantastic" and remains one of my all-timers (hence why its first in this list). Really fun and unique outsider POV from Eddie's estranged gay dad, and tells a very sweet story mostly through dialogue. Young adult Eddie and Richie are very cute.

i think the clock is slow by derryfacts2 (again)

3 chapters, 15,815 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: So there was that reason that work wasn’t boring, too. There was Richie’s soppy campaign of making cow eyes at the back of Eddie’s head as he passed, gently pressing Betty for details about his personal life (“I don’t think he has one. He had this awful fiancé a few years ago, but we’re all glad that’s over”), and chasing the incomparable high of a quiet, muttered “Thanks, Rich” whenever Richie picks something up for him from the copier.

Richie is a wannabe stand-up comic daylighting as the receptionist at Eddie's office. Eddie is a tightly-wound corporate asshole. They are both disasters. Or: five times Richie watched Eddie and one that Eddie watched him back.

I really enjoy workplace dramas and this one satisfied the itch so well. So many good scenes and dialogue, this author characterizes them in a way that really works for me. The perfect read-in-an-afternoon fic.

listen to my heart (can you hear it sing?) by vampirerising

12 chapters, 137,708 words, Major Character Death. Summary: "You need to wake up now,” Stan says softly. “This isn’t real.”

“I know, but I can’t,” Richie sobs. “I don’t want to be here.” Not again. Never again. It is dead, why is It still haunting him?

Stan fixes him with one of those looks of his, the one where he can see his every thought as if it were written on his face. “That’s not true, Trashmouth.”

Alternatively: We all know Richie gets caught in the Deadlights, but do we really know what happens after?

(Deadlights, timelines, Stan’s ghostly meddling—oh, my.)

This one is fucking weird in a way that I absolutely adore. Kind of like a sci-fi novel in that it requires you to pay attention to figure out what the fuck is going on but its so good and worth it. The MCD is Stan, not Eddie, and the last couple chapters are actually a very normal domestic Eddie lives AU. One of the first reddie artworks I made was fanart for a scene from this fic that I really enjoy.

a strange sense of familiarity by Katranga

21 chapters, 103,571 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: "So Eddie, what brings you to the bar tonight?" Richie asked. "Gonna rebound from the divorce? Pick up a hot young twenty-something to feel young again?” “Fuck you,” Eddie said, jutting his chin forward. “What a terrible way to ruin the mood.” “I’m sorry, all my moods are poorly cultivated. What mood were you looking for?” A nervous lump grew in Eddie's throat. He threw back his drink to get rid of it.

Hand wrapped around the glass he’d just slammed back onto the bar, he said, “The mood that gets me leaving with a schlubby forty-something.”

Pre-chapter two, Eddie and Richie meet and don't remember each other, but have an instant connection anyway...

This one is just... so fucking good. Decently long without ever feeling like it's dragging. Part 1 is them developing their totally-casual-I-swear relationship, which blows up right when Mike calls them back to Derry. Part 2 is them navigating both killing a nightmare clown demon and the awkwardness between them. Also everybody lives! So that's nice.

change partners by avacadomoon (with podfic available)

1 chapter, 30,453 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: "Rich," Eddie says heavily. Meaningfully, and Richie holds his breath, both afraid and hopeful that Eddie is about to say something really sappy, like I always knew and it didn't matter to me, or you know I support you no matter what. Eddie takes a deep breath before he speaks, and Richie closes his eyes, braced for it. "I didn't look at your dick pics."

"Well hey, Eds, thanks," Richie says, laughing incredulously. "Thanks for that."

I LOVE THIS ONE SOOO FUCKING MUCH. I urge you to consider this as a rec for this author as well, as they have a bunch of other reddie fics I think are fantastic. I have a weakness for any reddie fic that lets them be just a little mean to each other. As a treat. (Also the podfic is very well done, you should check that out too.)

check raise by avacodomoon

1 chapter, 15,061 words, No Archive Warnings Apply. Summary: "Eddie, not a fan of stand up comedy, not a fan of his beer," Rich says, leaning back on one elbow and squinting at him, like he's lining him up in a camera lens frame, "but what is he doing drinking alone?"

"I was alone, and now I'm not," Eddie says. "Some prick sat down next to me and started yapping."

"Ah, unpleasant to talk to," Rich concludes. "Explains a lot."

I know I meant the last rec as a blanket rec for all this author's works but I'm including this one specifically because it has a twist ending that is well-foreshadowed and it slapped my dick clean off.

Things that Happen after Eddie Lives by IfItHollers

11 chapters, 107,947 words, Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings. Summary: In a world where Richie manages to save Eddie from It after the deadlights, they still have problems on their to-do list. Featuring everything from Derry to Los Angeles—Richie Tozier's murder trial, Eddie Kaspbrak's divorce proceedings, bedsharing of the platonic and non-platonic varieties, an investigation of magic, a truly disgusting séance, the quintessential morosexual road trip, and OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES.

Definitely NOT your average Eddie lives AU. Drama! Mild peril! Psychic abilities! The ghost of Stanley Uris collect calling from beyond the grave via Richie Tozier's vocal chords! Fun and freaky and weird. Three things that make any fic a Josh favorite.

I'm going to stop there because I'm sleepy but let me know if you want more! Like I said I've got like 70 of these lovingly tucked in my bookmarks and I'm happy to share with the class.

[deeranger]

Lost in the Woods

So, I made this drawing and a little imagine for the SPN Eldritch Bingo 2024 for the square "Lost in the woods".... 🙃

Word count: 1,277

Characters: Sam Winchester

Warnings: Open/ambiguous ending, implied possible mcd, creepy forest entity

The cold yellow light from the moon somewhere above is quick to bleed into almost pitch-black darkness as soon as it hits the naked canopy. The many crooked branches simply filter it out, like skinny fingers grabbing and choking out the light. Sam can barely see his own hand in front of his face, let alone where he's putting down his feet. Great. That's just great. He should've never gone on this hunt alone.

Only faint remnants of moonlight manage to weakly illuminate the ground in random spots scattered on the forest floor and on tree trunks and shrubbery. It creates an eerie sort of glow that seems to contrast the black, and Sam would probably find it fascinating if it wasn't for the fact that this place is oozing pure evil. It's like the forest is watching him, like there's something breathing right down the back of his neck. It feels... Ancient. So much so that even the oldest oak tree in this godforsaken place is no match at all for the age of whatever lives here. One thing is for sure, it is never going to let go should it get its claws into him. And a scary feeling is brewing in Sam's mind that that is exactly what's going to happen if he doesn't find his way out of here. And soon. God, he should've stayed on the trail.

A twig loudly snaps under his boot, and the young Winchester swallows down a gasp. With his pulse skyrocketing, he freezes to the spot like a statue, all senses on high alert. The forest seems to hold its breath along with him, waiting... And watching. The feeling of being observed is intense, and Sam suddenly feels like a newborn gazelle circled by a hungry pack of lions, all alone and vulnerable in the middle of the goddamn savanna. He's a friggin' sitting duck and he knows it. And whatever is out there knows it too... And it's getting closer. He can feel it. Shit.

The hunter's fingers that clutch the Taurus have turned slick with sweat now even though the forest is chilly. And suddenly, he's seriously doubting if the silver bullets in the gun's chamber will help him at all. Probably not. Same goes for the flask of holy water in his pocket. And for some reason he's pretty sure that spewing out an exorcism won't work either.... Not out here, not on this thing. No, this time he's in way over his head and every weapon he brought is pretty much as useful as a chocolate teapot.

Cursing himself internally, Sam strains to pick up on whatever is lurking in the shadows... But all he gets is darkness, silent as the grave. It's like he's being watched from all sides, like danger is somehow everywhere around him now, pitch-black and one with the shadows clinging to every surface. It's omnipresent, a looming threat ready to pounce at him from any angle. He needs to turn back, needs to get the hell out of here now if he's going to stand a chance at getting out alive. But how? It's all around him and he lost his bearings a long time ago. He isn't even sure which direction to move in and by now he's not sure if it matters either. He's surrounded.

"What are you?" he hears himself ask into the chilly forest air. It comes out shakier than he'd like, and a gray mist hangs in the air from his breath until it evaporates and disappears, fleeting like a ghost. But the forest doesn't answer. Instead it offers more silence, heavy and ominous, and the darkness seems to somehow grow blacker yet, choking out the last bit of moonlight.

"What do you want??" Sam tries, automatically backing up when the night expands and creeps closer, black and tar-like and threatening. It's everywhere. The metallic taste of adrenaline spreads in his mouth, and his heart hammers against his breast bone with such frantic speed that he's uncertain if he might be passing out. He can't see anything. The blackness has reached him now, thick and evil and almost pulsing with something too ancient to even name. It's clinging to him, like a terrifying second skin, alien and predatory and freezing.

"No—"

It feels like he's breathing icewater all of a sudden, like his lungs are freezing over, blooming ice crystals gnawing at his insides and lodging themselves in every tiny blood vessel. It's like he's literally getting smothered from the inside, chest too heavy to even heave properly despite his efforts. God, he's never felt a cold like this before. This is… This is it, isn't it? Instinctively, he knows he doesn't have long, maybe just a minute or two before it's too late. Before he's absorbed into whatever it is that's pouring into him, devouring him. Killing him.

"D-Don't—" he chokes, and panicked he tries to force his eyes to see anything but blackness, to identify what it is that is now lifting him off the ground. He expects to see the crooked branches overhead, like bony fingers of an old crone reaching for him on a backdrop of pale moonlight, but he sees nothing. Nothing except a sea of black, a void, endless and hungry and absolutely diabolical.

As he feels life draining from him, his mind frantically spins and races in one big jumbled-up mess. His life flashes before his eyes, pictures of his childhood, of countless dingy motel rooms, faces of monsters that are no more and of those that got away, of everything that matters and doesn't, of all the things he still wants to do, what he needs to do... And like a red thread in all of it is his big brother's face. Dean. He can't leave Dean. Not like this, and... And not yet. He's not ready, the world isn't ready. But most importantly.... Dean is not ready. It's way too soon, his big brother will not be able to cope with losing him like this so soon after what happened at Cold Oak, after Sam left him the first time. No, he'll spiral in no time, Sam is certain of it. Or he might make an even nastier deal of some sort in his efforts to bring him back… And Sam can't let him do that, can't let him lose himself like that again. But what can he do to prevent it, really? Hell, not even Castiel can heal the kind of hurt Dean is going to feel no matter how hard he tries. Oh… Wait. He forgot. That could be his last chance, the very last straw to grasp at. He's not sure if he can even get his vocal cords to move, but he has to try, has to focus despite the solid cold that has settled deep in every bone. But he's listened before.... Maybe he will listen again? Just once? He has to. He has to.

With the last bit of air left in his lungs, Sam prays to the night sky he knows is somewhere up above him, obscured by ragged branches and blackness. It takes all of his might, and in the chilly forest air he calls out for the angel, voice thin and cracking. He feels the darkness around him angrily pulse in response and it constricts, wraps around his body like a snake, coiling and deadly silent. There's no room to breathe anymore. There's no room at all, and Sam falls as silent as the forest around him, blind and paralyzed... And waiting. Waiting for the flutter of wings or footsteps to approach. Just waiting. Hoping.

[forabeatofadrum]

EL WOOWOO! Hello everyone. Thank you @that-disabled-princess, @blackberrysummerblog, @bitbybitwrites and @artsyunderstudy for tagging me in the past week and a half or so. I didn't post anything cause I was sorta off-the-grid on the other side of the world. Okay, not really, cause all of Bali thrives on data roaming, but I was barely on social media during my vacation.

I actually planned on reading fic during my trip, but my sister (who I was visiting) had a jam-packed programme and I didn't have time to read. And during the flights I was too tired and afraid (I'm scared of flying) BUT as the banner says, I have read fic!

Ire @urban-sith posted a new deathcember fic and and one will bring his fall. As the term DEATHcember implies, everyone dies in this series! This is the grand finale where both Simon and Baz die. As the summary says: "Things are worse than they should be." and as my comment says: "IRE WHAT THE FUCK HOLY SHIT!!!!! YEAAAAHHH". I am not always the biggest MCD fan (Major Character Death, not Matt Christopher Davis, I do love him.), but GOD I do love angst at times and also, the ending with the Veil thing... yeah.... good shit.

And I also read all of the @carryonpicturebook fics! There are so many people who worked on this, I cannot fit them all here, so I'll direct you to the credits page. It's all the stories before Carry On, based on the "original" Simon Snow series by Gemma T. Leslie. I loved it a lot and as the "picture book" aspect implies: it's illustrated! It is so well done.

So yeah, that's it for now! Bye bye.

And now, the Dutch weather: it sucks, especially after spending time in Indonesia where it was "cold" for the locals. It was 30 C there. @quizasvivamos @coffeegleek @caramelcoffeeaddict @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @cutestkilla ​ @wellbelesbian ​ @facewithoutheart ​ @shrekgogurt @rockitmans @whatevertheweather @theotherhufflepuff @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @esilher @kurtsascot @nightimedreamersghost @ivelovedhimthroughworse @thnxforknowingme

[idcpxseur]

god im so stumped for the endgame ship i have so many ideas so imma just babble until my brain clears out

at the end of this theres a poll so yall should vote on what i should do!

Zanemau

zanemau has such a sweet, sweet, SWEET dynamic in mystreet

i imagine zane falls first and falls so incredibly hard

but he doesnt realize hes in love because hes so dead set on being the best, best friend.

it takes someone else calling him out on his actions (buying aphmau big, expensive gifts, being touchy with her, constantly vying to get her attention, giving her custom nicknames that he will get mad that ANYONE uses)

then when he realizes hes like "oh fuck what do i do" and completely panics around her at all times

aphmau is kind of oblivious to this. "i mean like he does this stuff all the time, why would it be different?"

meanwhile, aphmau kinda slowly realizes that shes falling for him. shes more nervous about completely ruining their friendship more than the idea of him rejecting her completely

the big gifts and compliments and touchiness make her SO happy and excited. i imagine zane is pretty tight with money (despite being a nepo baby and sitting on tons and tons of money from his rich ass parents) so when he actively forks out money EXLUSIVELY for her it makes her heart all fluttery

their feelings are obvious to everyone except the two of them. the group kinda actively puts them in situations where they are put together.

they are very much your typical, sweet "best friends to lovers" dynamic. which is why i love it sm

Laurmau

mcd laurmau makes me go WOOF WOOF BARK BARK WOAOAUEHEJFJ

and yes im relying heavily in mcd for their characterizations. those are the true versions of these characters. fight me.

yall seen miraculous ladybug? marichat and ladynoir? yeah. yeah its that. thats them

like okay: he is enamored by her looks but he just becomes absolutely smitten with her personality towards the beginning of pdh season 1. its that highschool crush that never goes away. even when he says it goes away, it doesnt. in fact, as they get closer, it gets so much worse!

he keeps the playful flirting and just teases her constantly

but you know as a friend, so he says

and she always playfully turns him down with a joke or a tease but you know. she knows that's just how he is! he has no feelings for her or anything!

but she was wrong, obviously. when they move to mystreet together after sort of growing apart during college, BOOM! those big dumb feelings come back and laurence is... well you know. hes laurence. he wears his heart on his sleeve and he pulls her aside and professes his love for her.

she turns him down (again) but hes unwavered! they go back to their original dynamic and nothing changes

...except BOOM!!! APHMAU CATCHES FEELINGS!!

mental breakdown ensues (on her end) because "HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY CAUGHT FEELINGS FOR THIS DUMBASS!!! I CANT BELIEVE THE FLIRTING ACTUALLY WORKED OH GOD FUCK!!!"

the next time laurence flirts with her she drops the bomb so casually like

"hey, mlady, when are we going to go on that date?"

"i dont know laurence. when are you going to take me?" cue dead silence and aphmau locking Eyes with him and staring into his soul

it takes like 15 seconds for him to catch on

and he explodes. his face turns beet red. he blushes and smiles and giggles and practically kicks his feet and that motherfucker is GIDDY!!!

everything in their relationship is basically the same except they kiss

Garmau

I LOVE GARMAU IN MCD

god the way hes all shy for her and he subtly (SUBTLY!!!) tries to suggest his feeling for her

I LOVE GARMAU IN MCD IM SICK GOD

THE FALLING TREE SCENE?!?!?@? CHEFS KISS. LITERALLY AARMAU COULD N E V E R

(once again, im implementing more of their mcd personalities)

okok but this is mystreet, not mcd!

in my notes, garroth and aphmau were childhood friends for much longer! but then aphmau moved, they eventually lose contact over time so she remembers garroth the most but not really zane and vylad as much because shed often stick to his side because she has a little baby crush on him

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO STRANGERS TO TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY VISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay but... not really "strangers" but they lose contact for a bit and reconnect in hs.

they dont instantly recognize each other but aphmau instantly recognizes zane when she sees him. it takes aphmau way too long (about 3-4 weeks into the school year, when vylad gets introduced and they go to the park together) to connect that garroth the "hot sophomore guy who i am fortunate enough to share air with who weirdly enough shares the name of my childhood crush/best friend but that surely is a coincidence, right?" is the same garroth ro'meave that she used to play with when she was young

garroth... knows. well he gets it much faster than she does. after all, "aphmau" is probably one of the most uncommon names to ever exist in this universe so he pretty much recognizes her right off the bat but how the fuck do you even begin to address this? (is what he asks laurence who literally just goes dude, just tell her)

and then you know how the story goes, the love triangle (love arrow? love axis? love corner??? ITS NOT A TRIANGLE WHY IS IT CALLED A LOVE TRIANGLE) commences, aphmau ends up rejecting both of them because they stressed her out and the boys chill out and then they all become friends

then college happens and BAM mystreet

garroth is more upfront to the fact that he never really got over her

sure he dated ivy and tried to date in college but nothing felt right

being with and near aphmau just felt right in a way no other person has managed to replicate

and suddenly she was back and the world felt right again

but hes still shy and has no idea how to approach her

(i imagine hes much more flirty and a little more like laurence [less extreme tho] when he doesnt really have feelings for a person)

and aphmau well? shes just happy to be back around him. the sun seems to shine brighter when shes with him and she has no idea why

theyre much more awkward then the other two ships i have listed here

esp as aphmau is falling like oh god. the tension??? the awkward pauses and long gazes??? ugh its delicious i eat it up

much like zanemau, it takes the skittles squad™ (aka the mystreet cast) to the extreme measure of locking them in a room and forcing them to confront their feelings /hj

or on the other hand, one of em confesses on complete accident or OOHH on a late night and just spilling their guts

anyway. again much like my zanemau written above garroth would SPOIL her with his ro'meave money and she would not know how to respond

wow i wrote a lot for garmau

BUT WERE NOT DONE BECAUSE WE STILL HAVE

Garrancemau & other ship ideas

so imagine garrancemau as laurmau and garmau happening cohesively much like mystreet where its a "competition" except they have the underlying tension of a college fling or smth like that

and aphmau kinda like. tries to get them together cuz she can see that they also have feelings for each other and they think this is some gay-denial like that

TRUE LOVE TRIANGLE you know???

but like i also wanna try my hand at rewriting aarmau to be less... bad...

*IN MY OPINION!!!

i really enjoy aarmaus dynamic but i do really like it more in a sibling light so i dont know if i really do wanna go the romance route

but also i love aroace aphmau! or katemau or travmau!

APHMAU IS A VERY SHIPPABLE CHARACTER OKAY? SHE HAS GOOD DYNAMICS WITH EVERYONE!!

so yeah. i dunno!! what do yall think? please, im very curious and im open to suggestions!!

*SUGGESTIONS!! i may not take them and decide to do fuck all so please if you give me a suggestion please know that i may not take it but i value your input and i put it into heavy consideration!!

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove and I felt like some public masochism so here we are!

Edit: Holy fuck this got long, putting it under a read-more.

How many works do you have on ao3?

258 although I orphaned 100 works back in 2020.

What's your total Ao3 word count?

Why. Why would you ask me this. Why would you do this to me.

4,578,245 - although I shudder to think how much it will have gone up by the end of the year.

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly 9-1-1, but I took a nosedive into Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves last year and still have one more fic I'm writing for it. I tend to have quick little detours into other fandoms, which I think is overall a good thing since it helps me flex my writing muscles with different characters and settings. I'm currently working on a fic that is from a show where the main characters are all constantly sassing each other and bickering, and it's pushed me into being witty and sharp with the dialogue and humor in a way that I don't think I have been in quite some time.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos:

Even Steel Blades Need Fire - that's right, a WITCHER fic. HA. You all weren't expecting that!

Leading with the Left - yeah yeah we all knew this one was coming.

Drowning in Dreams (You're My Raft) - I'm constantly surprised this little oneshot I wrote post-tsunami is so popular.

Footprints are More Easily Seen in the Snow - my first Witcher fic I ever wrote and might still actually be my favorite.

Sometimes a Hammer, Sometimes a Lockpick - another Witcher fic! I had a lot of fun with this one.

Do you respond to comments?

I do! I try to respond to every comment I get. I know not everyone can but given the anxiety I know readers have around giving comments I try to show how much every comment is appreciated by me.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I do happy endings, overall, but every once in a while I decide to be evil, so it's a tie between the two fics that are about a character dying:

The Soft Goodbye - a Timeless fic that focuses on the idea that time travel, like being in space for a long time, wreaks havoc on your body.

Full Circle - a Doctor Who fic written years ago speculating about the Doctor gifting a dying Donna her memories back so they can say goodbye.

For those of you in the 9-1-1 fandom however, since I'm sure everyone's looking at those two fics going "wait what," the fic with the angstiest ending is:

I'm Not Breathing Unless I'm Giving You CPR - spoiler alert, but I end this fic on an angsty and purposefully ambiguous note. It's up to the reader to decide what sort of ending they get.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uh. All of them, I'd say? With the exception of the two MCD fics above, I deliver happy endings. However based on reader feedback, I think I'll go with...

Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows Like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) - the amount of angst in this fic, especially the Bobby and Buck relationship, seems to hit readers extra hard and so the happy ending, especially Buck's reunion with his father figure, is extra joyful and cathartic.

Do you get hate on fics?

I have once in a blue moon gotten "flames," as we used to say. Writing fanfic since I was thirteen, I don't think it's possible to fully avoid a few cranky people with nothing better to do than go around and shit on people's beds. But I've been extraordinarily lucky in the love and kindness I've gotten from my readers.

Do you write smut?

Baby, it's what I'm known for. Honestly sometimes to my chagrin - I hope people enjoy my worldbuilding, characterization, and plots as well - but overall I have a lot of fun writing smut and I love reducing people to slack-jawed water-chugging babbles.

Also someone had to bring the monsterfucking around here so by golly I'm reporting for duty.

Craziest crossover?

I don't do crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup! Someone stole my Budde Porn Star AU and turned it into a Rooster/Hangman from TG:M fic. Someone kindly alerted me and I was able to report it to Ao3. Truly a surreal experience.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Multiple times. It's deeply flattering and I really admire translators who put in the work to take something from one language and convey the same meanings, flow, and story in another. Translation is a genuine art form, if you ask me.

Have you co-written a fic before?

Yes! A few times, all with my beloved @extasiswings. We did one Timeless fic together whispers like poetry and we had such fun that when I started my first long, plot-ty Buddie fic I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) and panicked, I roped her into finishing it with me.

We also co-wrote Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me because I was in a bad writing slump and she graciously made everything better, and then A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (But Love is Undefinable) because she uno reverse'd me.

All time favorite ship?

I've been shipping for so long it's incredibly hard to pick just one, but I think given the sheer depth of my insanity, I have to say Buddie. I haven't had a ship grip me like this in... ever, actually. Honestly after being burned hard on some previous ships in my time, names redacted to protect the guilty (me), I didn't think it was possible to love a ship this much, and yet here I am.

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I plan to finish all of my WIPs. Once I start a fic I'm committed to finishing it. I do however have a couple fic ideas that I don't think I'll ever actually write.

What are your writing strengths?

Um. Smut, apparently. I also seem to do well with fusions; that is, taking one trope or setting and fusing it with another in a sort of plot mash-up. And people seem to really like my world building.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm a hyper-sexual person who is very casual about sexual relationships and so sometimes I think as a result I have characters think with their cocks a bit too much and jump too quickly into sex, and sometimes there's more smut than plot. Run-on sentences, my beloved (and my editor's beloathed). I tend to write out-of-order and so sometimes little plot details can contradict, not be followed up on, or get lost in the shuffle.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't really write dialogue in another language in most of my fandoms, but in a few it's come up and I've approached it in different ways.

In Timeless, the character Garcia Flynn's first language is Croatian, so I would have him sometimes speak in it. In my dragon!Jaskier series, I was able to bastardize some of the Draconic from D&D (mixed with some Germanic root languages) for when he was cursing or communicating with his draconic family. In both cases, the other language was limited to only a line or two of dialogue, or perhaps a single word, so I wrote the dialogue in that language, and then had a translation guide at the bottom of the fic.

This tends to be my modus operandi, an exception being Xenk speaking Thayan, because I couldn't find any actual Thayan for the life of me, so I just describe how the phrase sounds or allude to him muttering something/swearing/etc. Since Ed, a former spy, also speaks Thayan, he can then inform the reader through his thought-process what the Thayan meant.

Occasionally, I will have two characters speaking in another language and simply italicize their words and have a line of description saying "they switch to French" or something similar, since I don't want readers to have to scroll up and down to understand an entire conversation.

In my original novels, however - the Horsemen quartet specifically - the characters communicate about fifty percent of the time through sign language. It's become the lingua franca, because noise alerts zombies and ASL is a silent language. In the books, I write the dialogue as I would English, and simply have the dialogue tag "she signed" instead of "she said."

As someone who speaks other languages but for whom English is their first, I'm not sure I get to really speak on how and when one should use other languages in one's predominantly-English fic in a predominantly-English-speaking fandom and online space. All I can say is that I listen to what others say in regards to what is most respectful and comfortable, and I don't have any personal preference in how a writer handles the use of secondary languages in their writing.

First fandom you wrote in?

I'm not sure which came first since they were right on top of each other, but Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean.

Favorite fic you've written?

Well that's just mean. How dare you. I don't have one favorite fic, that's like asking me to choose a favorite child.

I will say I am particularly fond of In the Gray You are Golden. I banged it out in a day in some kind of fugue state and I do think it's one of my best works.

Someday when I am filthy rich I will commission someone to draw it as a comic, especially the reunion scene between Buck, Eddie, and Christopher.

Tagging, with no pressure:

@princessfbi @buckttommy @extasiswings @kitkatpancakestack @gracieryder (once again I typed your fucking old url like five times...)

aaaaaaand @givemeunicorns.

[panicataphmausinsanity]

mcd s2 spoils

why did it take aaron's death for all of the blocks to have voices. plus wtf while his death was heartbreaking his character (this was because my favorite character is aaron and im just sad to see him die, not that the build up to his death actually made me sad. im just very attached to my baby girl) was executed so poorly in so many regards im so mad at this AGh god we saw literally no development between him and aph and by the time he was actually progressing as a person and starting to move on and consider letting go of what was haunting him from the past he decides to go off and kill himself this fucking dumbass holy shit this is pissing me off

[vanetine]

tumblrs being mean n won’t let me reply to your comment :(( buuut i love love LOVE aphmau roleplays!! mystreet , pdh , my inner demons , and omg MINECRAFT DIARIES!!! i love them all :3 so so cool to see another aphmau enjoyer in da wild!

( btw your blog is super pretty!! you seem like a lot of fun! /pos /gen )

— 🐾🐇 / dearie!

OMGGGGG NO WAYYYYYYYY!!!!

I love ALL of those too, holy shit it's literally insane to find a aphmau fan in this community?? Been lookin' for one since like 4EVER 😔

Bb u are always free to rant 2 me abt aphmau, her roleplays are 2 DIE FOR

Okay okay so I've watched Mystreet, Mermaid Tales, MCD, PDH, Phoenix Drop Days, Heartpoint, My Inner Demons, all so MANY TIMES!!! But like, kinda curious abt how we feelin' 4 the final season of Mystreet after all this time?? Kinda nerv over here tbh...

Like also literally doll like, spill the tea?? Fav ships, characters, series, etc etc?? ❤❤❤❤❤

(Oh and baby, flattery will getcha EVERYWHERE. My blog's pretty just like me I knooooooowwww,, but more importantly let's talk abt yours!? Also ya seem like a real good time too, hope we can chat again sumtime toots xxx)

[rattotheimperialcheesegod]

me out here not expecting so many ppl to like this holy shit thank you.

but fr, i was honestly nervous about sharing my project since its very heavily uh me putting a big middle finger to aphmau in general, and like yes, a lot of concepts and some character arcs are the same flow wise, but a lot of the story is not at all like either plots of mcd or mystreet, they are honestly more around how ive changed how certain characters are in plot, mainly really plot relevant characters, irene especially, cause like-

shes not like god anymore, shes not the place in for god, or ppl dont use her name as a replacement for god, she IS A god, but not THE god of the whole world or universe or smth, shes actually much more of being a chaos god really...cause all the divine warriors (now called the divine legionary) are all seperate genuine gods that still hold apon relics and stuff and have their own personal titles and yes ppl still see irene as a god, but more around how ppl can worship a god of a certain culture, shes not the only god basically, or like this angelic force basically, like none of the gods are really "perfect", like my irene is the reason why zane thinks he can achieve his goal of bringing magic back to his lineage, by basically giving him false hope by saying he is the holder of her relic (which isnt true, cause kim is actually the true holder) and by giving him the ability to give others magic but not give himself magic, yknow

makes his ego grow even bigger than it was, gives him a god complex, and also starts the jury and stuff so...

irenes not really as good, she likes chaos and stuff

heres my rewrite ro'meaves (this is old i need to update vylad) they are mainly the same but zane is like if mystreet zane still acted like mcd zane and was like 10 times WORSE

well also since im sharing, uh yeah im rewriting mcd and mystreet, how? im merging the two the making a whole new plot by using aspects from both sources, somethings are gone and somethings stayed, like kim no longer has the fucking ghost and emmalyn is no longer ghost (thank god), ill update on it, maybe this post can be a masterpost idk really, but all ill really say is that the story is not at all like either series, its a rewrite, i get to write whatever i want~☆

im um, also really going to be reflecting more on how the male characters are written.

[garrothromeave]

I'm currently rewatching the og diaries and quickly caught up on the remake ( again ) and I'm still a little salty about Zenix and Garroth never really meeting again. Yeah Zenix went back to attack Levin but the battle happened offscreen. I mean Garroth considered Zenix a SON. Do you like Zenix's innocent act in the og or do you perfer him being constantly sus of Aphmau in the rewrite?

OH MY GOD ANON THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK HOLY SHIT. zenix is the fucking BEST i love talking about him okay okay okay here we go

well actually first I’d have to 100% agree with you, another zenix/garroth interaction later on would have been SO cool and there was some potential there in s3? that could have been SO sexy especially with laurance working with zenix now i mean come the fuck on missed opportunity.

anyways, honestly i think that rebirth zenix has a place in my heart and i love how he’s suspicious of aphmau, and how garroth chalks it up to him seeing a bit of himself in her. that’s such an interesting thing like come ON that’s so cool. i’d have adored to see this zenix betrayal because he’s a much more dynamic character in rebirth (for obvious reasons). but really, i think the idea of him being suspicious of aph is much cooler, and what makes it better is that he’s the wolf in sheep’s clothing, y’know? what really piques my interest is why he acts so suspicious of her. i wonder if it has something to do with his own story, or if it’s just a genuine “she’s just playing the helpless girl act.” though i feel it has something to do with the former.

now. i love og zenix’s thing, i love that he plays innocent completely, but i don’t think that he was originally intended to be a backstabber, only because i don’t think jess had too much in mind for mcd YET. however i do still like the idea of him just goin’ with the flow, then boom villain. would it have been cooler to see why zenix decided to backstab garroth then instead of the many other times he could have? yep totally. but i think (and hope) that would have been covered in rebirth.

anyways zenix :) good fuckin lad right there

[parmahamlarrie]

October fic recs! This month I delved into the paranormal and fantasy a bit for the spooky season. Enjoy! xx

The Night Sky Is Changing Overhead || orphan_account || 124k Tattoo Artist Harry, Dom/Sub Elements, Meet Cute Somehow, those are the tags for this story, but holy shit is it so much more than that.

Vampire AU Series || orphan_account || 63.3k Vampire AU, Hurt/Comfort, Side Ziall, MCD in part 3 (though they're also immortal so) My first long Vampire fic! A great way to break into the trope.

somebody to love || dilfrry / @silverfoxrry || 51.1k Nanny Louis, Kid Fic, Older Harry (32) A new comfort fic for me! Margo is so sweet!

The First Year || parmahamlarrie / @parmahamlarrie || 46.9k Uni AU, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, OT5, Hurt/Comfort, Badboy Louis, Soft Harry So yes, this is my fic, but I'm including it because I am really proud of it and I hope you guys enjoy if you choose to read it.

Canyon Moon || delsicle / @eeveelou || 40.8k Werewolf A/B/O, Shifters, Angst, Pining, Childhood Friends to Lovers This one is based off of Lion King and I absolutely loved that element of it! It was nice to have some familiar angst that wasn't too painful.

Player || jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom || 28.2k Tennis Player Harry, PR Louis, Side OT5, Main Character Injury, Humor This one is such a joy, definitely through some curveballs at me that I wasn't expecting, but really was a lovely fic!

tell it like an old song || outropeace / @outropeace || 26.6k ABO, Alpha Harry, Alpha Louis, Amnesia, Eventual Mpreg My first Amnesia fic! Made my heart hurt in a sweet way.

Forever Young || jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom || 23.k Wings AU, Strangers to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, OT5 My first wings fic! (so many firsts this month lol). Dee did a great job on this one creating a story that was quite layered and painted a world I got immersed in for under 25k words.

Spellbound || lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 || 22.4k Witch Harry, Shifter Louis, Established Relationship, Halloween, Oblivious Idiots This kicked off my two weeks of Halloween fics! So fun and fluffy!

break open the sky || karamelised || 20.3k Werewolves AU. Uni AU Not my usual genre, but really enjoyed this!

pink like the paradise found || disgruntledkittenface /@disgruntledkittenface || 18.4k Girl Direction, Fluff/Smut

love so soft, you ain't had nothing softer Series || NeonDiamond /@neondiamond || 15.4k A/B/O, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Fluff/Smut, So sweet

I'm Hot for Teacher Series || phdmama / @phd-mama || 14.7 Professor Louis, Med Student Harry, Pining, Fluff This was one of my favorites of the month! Wow! The relationship development was incredible, it made me giggle with how much I loved these two.

Service Kink AU Series || lookingfortherainbow / @andtheywerebandmates || 14.5k Injured Louis, Service Kink, Domestic Fluff

Dilly Boy Series || harrylouisinlove / @harrylouisinlove || 12.4k Kid Fic, Child POV, Fluff, Mpreg, Part 3 Christmas

The Section || bananaheathen || 11.k TA Louis, Student Harry, Pining, Fluff, Great Side Ziam Another favorite this month! I will be rereading this one again soon.

the most domestic husbands series || trackfive || 10.9k Canon, Ficlets, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Fluff I'm not huge on reading canon fics but these are all so sweet!

Make Me Feel || bananaheathen || 10k Sculptor Louis, Temp Harry, Small Town Living, Pining

open up your butterfly doors || docklands / @hershelsue || 8.8k Dom Louis, Sub Harry, Safeword Use, Subdrop, Essentially PWP

boy with the kaleidoscope eyes || docklands / @hershelsue || 7.8k Drug Use, Friends to Lovers?

Sun-Kissed Hurricane, Perfect Storm || iwillpaintasongforlou || 7.6k Nerdy Harry, ADHD Louis, Badboy Louis, Pining and Fluff

I'm sticking to you like glue || peanutbutterapple || 6.2k College AU, Sick Fic, Halloween, Fluff

Only Thing That Can Quench My Thirst || eyesofshinigami || 6.5k Canon, Essentially PWP There's just something about how soft Harry is with Lou in this that just - *chefs kiss*

Lost in your Paradise || SadaVeniren / @sadaveniren || 6.3k A/B/O, Public Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy “To the alpha I fucked at the Ziam concert, I think this is yours.” - SO GOOD! This one's stuck with me since I read it. Wow.

Thrown in Wide Open Spaces || berzerkshires / @berzerkshires || 5.1k Kidfic, Meet-Cute, Big Brother Louis, Babysitting

Chew Me Up And Spit Me Out || tequila-tequila / @tequilatequilafics || 5k Neighbors AU, Tattoo Artist Louis, Florist Harry

I'll be There || allwaswell16 / @allwaswell16 || 5k Uni!AU, Sick Louis, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers

golden hearts (light their way back down) || fairytalelights /@lookslikefairytale || 4k Summer Camp AU, Humor

I've Been Running with the Wolves || RealityBetterThanFiction || 3.3k Werewolf/Shifter Harry, Human Louis, Established Relationship, Kidfic, Fluff

Putting It In! || 4ureyesonly28, BringMeADream, foreverfanficaddict || 2.9k Crack Fic, OT4, Golf, Humor

If Wishes Were Dishes || LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup || 2.6k Domestic Fluff

oh my my, baby don't be shy || ballsdeepinjesus || 2.2k Fluff, Meet Cute, Older H and L

love rushes to your heart, and hope || loveroflou / @grimmpitch || 2.1k Trans Harry, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gender Euphoria

So Happily || DontLetHimGo || 2k Kidfic, Married H&L, Future Fic, Surrogacy, Fluff

built my life around you || blueskiescalling || 1.4k Domestic Fluff, Kidfic

September Recs / August Recs

[whycraft]

Gods, I don’t even know where to start with most of the Minecraft Diaries lore alone. I refuse to touch Mystreet with a ten foot pole.

MCD was originally posted in March of 2015 and it was originally marketed as a survival series with a bunch of mods, mostly importantly, the Comes Alive mod that allows for different types of villagers and the player can marry them and make the villagers marry each other and so on and so forth.

Our main character, Aphmau, is led to a village that has been kinda torn apart and left for dead, but slowly through the first season, Aphmau helps to fix the village (named Phoenix Drop) up, even becoming lord of the village with the help of her guards, Garroth and Laurance and Dante. Aphmau adopts two kids named Levin (the son of the village’s previous lord) and Malachi (a ghost boy that becomes human eventually.) Aphmau makes friends and enemies across the region of Ru’uan and, in season one, it all kinda culminates with Aphmau makes enemies with Zane, the High Priest of Lady Irene* and son of the Lord of O’khasis. Plot twist, Zane is also Garroth’s younger brother.

(*Irene (called Irena in early episodes and having the full title of Lady Irene the Matron) is a Divine Warrior, a group of powerful magicks users that were worshipped as deities across the world.)

A LOT of stuff goes down that I can’t even begin to describe because, holy hell, there’s so much to unpack here, but eventually, Zane calls for war between O’khasis and Phoenix Drop. Garroth, who’s going through Some Shit, betrays the rest of Phoenix Drop and sides with Zane when the battles reach the walls of the village. Zane manages to teleport his group and the group that was fighting against him to the Irene Dimension, a dimension handcrafted by Lady Irene where times passes much differently. For every minute spent in the Irene Dimension, a year passes in the Overworld.

Laurance and Garroth have an battle and an emotional conversation and, right as Aphmau is about to be attacked by Zane, Garroth steps in and betrays his brother. An elf woman appears along with a portal out of the Irene Dimension and Garroth stays back to keep Zane distracted as the rest of the group escapes.

Fifteen minutes passed in the Irene Dimension, so fifteen years passed in the Overworld. And that’s where season one ended. I don’t think I can get into season 2 or season 3-

Bruhhh, I didn’t even get into Shadow Knights or meif’wa or werewolves or anything. Its just so hard to describe all the Aphmau lore-

oh this is so much!!! ive been meaning to watch mcd for so long but it seemed like there were too many videos to watch but i might at least be able to watch the first season since i have an idea what its about now

[birlcholtz]

Fic Questions

tagged by @the-lincyclopedia thank you!! (fun game: watch my writing get progressively less formal as the post continues. by the end it’s like what is capitalization)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

77!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

434,378 as of this week but it does go up quite regularly

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Okay so in terms of what’s on my AO3, I have Check Please, All For the Game, Sharp Zero, HP, and Miraculous Ladybug. I also have The Forbidden LOTR and PJO Fanfiction (as in, I’ve written it, but it’s never seeing the light of day)

(technically there is a PJO fic out there that has seen the light of day but I orphaned it because I was tired of getting comments asking about when it would be updated)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

and then i met you (and the whole world changed)

for the better

Knew It Was You

come home (to you, to us)

sin bin schematics

All of these are Check Please and all of them except Knew It Was You are part of my Zimbits Airport AU!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! It’s actually a very recent thing that I’ve started not responding to literally every single comment. Mainly I respond because I love talking about my writing so I am going to seize that opportunity when it comes up

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, DEFINITELY Happy Birthday (HP). Check out that MCD tag ahah. (I say HP but what I really mean is that I write fic about Regulus Black. The Regulus Black-centric tag is my home in the HP fandom)

fun fact: this is a very short fic that I wrote when I was 15 and basically forgot about until recently, and then I reread it recently and went holy shit?? I pulled NO punches????

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the wildest one you’ve written?

Not a ton? I think a lot of the fandoms I write for don’t really mesh that well. That being said, the aforementioned orphaned PJO fic is actually a PJO/ML crossover, so there’s that

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope! Sometimes I get comments that are just.... really confusing? And a more common thing is that in my AFTG fic I’ll get comments from people who are so focused on Andreil (or the most common ships in general) to the point that like. they miss the point of what I actually wrote. Those are annoying but they’re not hate, they’re very enthusiastic, they’re just... enthusiastic about a story I’m not writing? So it’s a bit frustrating.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No sjflskgjhgf I struggle enough to write kissing, I think if I ever tried to write smut my brain would just shut down. I’ve managed some fade-to-blacks (which are mostly in WIPs that haven’t been posted) but they rely HEAVILY on the powers of implication

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, although I have occasionally made a brief go of it, not to post, more as an exercise for myself in a language that I’m learning. Anyway I never finish them so I’m gonna say no

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really? I’ve definitely group brainstormed fics and then written them (the best example of this being Q&A (AFTG), which was the product of a truly off-the-walls group chat), but I tend to do all the actual writing myself. I think the way I write would drive a co-writer up the wall since it’s very disorganized and I don’t write stuff down because ~I know what’s gonna happen I don’t need notes~ and it would infuriate me if I was co-writing with me lmao, so I won’t inflict that on someone else

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I regularly move through ships I’m SUPER focused on, like it’s kind of a rotation. I will forever and always ship Percabeth though.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Okay so if you follow me at @birlwrites you may know this already, but i have this ‘warmups’ document that is just like, random ideas i get that i don’t necessarily want to finish but i just want to try out for a bit? and i have a rule that once a ‘warmup’ is more than 10 pages long (so 11+) then it has to be moved to its own document, just to make scrolling through the warmups doc easier. but usually, a warmup only passes 10 pages when i’m INTO it. so i have a bazillion wips i will probably never finish. i complain about this a lot. i have so many wips. i don’t need more.

here’s one: it’s titled ‘interrobang doesn’t know they’re dating’, it’s basically a full outline for a chowder/tango fic and it would be SO cool if i could ever like. get around to writing it. but i am constantly swamped with writing projects, so it’s probably not gonna happen. if anyone’s interested in adopting it though i’d be down for that!! i think it’s a fun idea i just almost def won’t write it myself

15. What are your writing strengths?

SNAPPY DIALOGUE AND SNARKY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE. my writing is COMEDIC, 90% of my ideas are based on a funny snippet that popped into my head, a lot of my worldbuilding is based on ‘hey you know what would be hilarious’ (whenever i explain how larai selects a chosen one in the rainfall universe i start laughing, which is a STARK contrast to how it plays out on the page), i love writing funny stuff!!

also i think my writing sounds nice, a lot of the time i pick words/syntax based on sound and flow so there’s that too. and i have lots of ideas! i don’t struggle much with writer’s block because a) i have a lot of strategies to deal with it and b) i have a lot of ideas to help get around it/work with it

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

PHYSICAL INTIMACY LMAO, sometimes in my end notes on shippy fics you can see me complaining ‘it took me literally 4 hours to write that very brief kiss’. also sometimes the humor in my writing gets in the way a bit, i have to very consciously put it away so characters can actually have serious, genuine emotions. also i don’t like outlining and i tend not to get betas for fanfiction so like..... i do my best continuity-wise but having really tightly plotted stories is just not my focus lol. (and i do put more effort into that for original stuff, it’s just fic where i kind of go wild)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If the reader’s supposed to know what it means, then writing it in another language is iffy for me. (stuff like terms of endearment which come up a lot in fic are fine imo, you can just put a note in to translate them and your reader will prob remember)

If the pov character isn’t supposed to understand it, and it doesn’t matter if the reader understands it, then ig it’s fine? but unless you already speak the other language (and i am NOT confident in my ability to translate english into literally any other language), then i think it’s way easier to just note that a character’s speaking x language and provide tone indicators, body language cues, etc. so the reader understands as much as the pov character.

That being said there are def times when it’s used super effectively--the dialogue in spanish in cemetery boys comes to mind! that’s not fanfic but it’s still creative writing so w/e

so i guess it comes down to: does actually writing out the dialogue in the other language serve a purpose? if it doesn’t, then you’re filling up the screen with words your reader isn’t likely to understand, which i try to avoid doing

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

so the first fandom i actually *wrote* for was PJO, but i distinctly remember creating warrior cats OCs when i was little. i never actually did anything w them but i had them and my favorite was a riverclan warrior named shellstream i remember this VIVIDLY

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh boy. okay so this is hard because i feel like i’m continuously improving as a writer. like in the sense that my writing is getting closer and closer to really matching my own taste? my favorites tend to always be my current projects as a result. and i do really love set those ghosts alight (HP) but it feels a little like cheating to say a fic i haven’t even finished writing yet. even though it’s def not cheating, that’s just the direction my brain is taking it.

i’m gonna say and then what? (OMGCP) because i’m super proud of the prose (especially ch 2 aka the first actual prose chapter), survived by (HP) for SUCCESSFULLY WRITING AN EMOTION and making readers cry :), and Q&A (AFTG) because i’m literally the one who wrote it and yet it still makes me wheeze. those are all fics i reread occasionally, because i’m big enough to admit i enjoy rereading my old stuff! (just like. to a point. some of my old stuff i can’t look at anymore because all the mistakes stick out to me like they have spotlights shining directly on them)

this was fun!! i’m gonna do an open tag because i just started my fall semester and brain tired. i know sometimes people see open tags and assume the op didn’t really mean it but I MEAN IT, PLEASE DO THIS AND TAG ME!!!!! YES YOU READING THIS

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #457

“blue are the words i say and what i think  /  blue are the feelings that live inside of me”

Do you buy your lingerie at Victoria’s Secret? No. That shit is so overpriced and not for my size group. Would you ever use an online dating service? I never would again. Are you good at multitasking? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Have you ever eaten Frosted Mini Wheats? Ugh, those are so gross. What does your bikini look like? You think THIS bitch wears a bikini??????????????????????? Does age really matter in a relationship? To an extent, yes. How much does the last person you kissed mean to you? I honestly don't even know if I'd be here without her. Almost like magic, Sara popped back into my life right after I returned home from the hospital following my suicide attempt. She helped make recovery possible as a solid source of support. Do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough. My skin is so dry; I need to. Do you believe in teenage love? I experienced it deeply and thoroughly, so yes. Have you ever sat on the roof of your house? No. Do you like Sublime? I like that one popular one of theirs. "Santaria" or whatever it's called? What’s your favorite movie genre? Paranormal horror, especially the "found footage" type. It's creepy to imagine it being actually real. Is there a celebrity that you’d be willing to have a one night stand with? If he was single? I know in my gut I would lmaooooo Do you want to live in your current town the rest of your life? OH MY GOD PLEASE NO If you found out today your best friend was gay what would you do? She's demisexual, so. She can like anybody. If you could get a pet for free today-what kind/what name? A tegu, because it wouldn't need an enclosure that I don't have. I'd let it free roam. God, I can only imagine Roman's reaction. How many people have you slept with? If you mean what I think you do by "slept," one. Do you ever wish you had a family business to become a part of? Not really. What’s the most gruesome way you could come up with to kill someone? Hunny, have you seen my dark RP????? The world best be glad I'm a pacifist lmfao Do you think anyone deserves to die that way? I don't believe in torture, so no. If you had to fight for survival, what would your weapon of choice be? A gun, I guess? I'd want something with range and that's quick. I wanted to say a bow and arrow, but preparing another arrow after shooting once could really cost you your life. Where did you buy your favorite pair of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog, period. If not, are you afraid of them? No, I love big 'ole puppos!!!!! I just don't wanna own a dog myself. Are you good at playing darts? Holy fuck no, I have NO hand-eye coordination. I once stabbed the guy at a balloon popping booth thing with a dart in the arm, if that tells you anything, ooooooooooof. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? YESSSSSSSSS omg Do your parents know that/if you smoke? They know that I don’t. Have you ever been under a blacklight? Omg so in elementary school, we did this thing once where we all washed our hands as best we could and then put them under some sort of light (maybe a blacklight, idk???) to see JUST how resilient germs are. You gotta scrub the fuck out ya hands, people. How many pounds do you want to lose? I'd rather not share a number, but a lot. What’s your favorite natural phenomenon? The Northern Lights. Do you snore? Very surprisingly for someone with sleep apnea like mine, I actually don't. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? Off the very top of my head, one, but it's spelled differently. I KNOW I know of a shitload more Brittanys, though. Is it possible you could be pregnant? Well, I haven't been intimate with a man in years and just finished my period, so like- Could you go a day without texting? I go most days without texting. Do you have a step-parent? My dad is remarried, so yes. If so, do you get along with them? She's EXTREMELY Christian, so her beliefs wildly disagree with mine, but I keep my mouth shut a lot just to keep the peace. She IS a very sweet woman, nevertheless, and am glad she and my dad are so happy together. Does your current/last job require that you wear a uniform? My last job (which lasted not even two hours lol) did. When will your driver’s license expire? My permit has been expired for like... two years. Do you live in an apartment? No. If the last person you kissed proposed to you what would you say? That's too wild a concept to even imagine. I'd probably ask if she was okay lmao. Would you ever get back with one of your exes? Weeeelp, I want to get back together with Girt. Pretty badly. Write a foreign word, and what it means: "Schadenfreude" is a German term that essentially means secondhand embarrassment, but it doesn't have a perfect translation. Is there an ex you think about everyday? Inevitably. That's PTSD, my friends. Who is the last person that you said I love you to, besides family members? Sara. What's the worst thing you have ever said to anyone? Something along the lines of "no one could ever love you like I do." It boils my blood just typing that; I considered even deleting this question. That quote right there is fucking manipulation, even IF I thoroughly believed it. Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? I don't feel like looking. Do you tend to go for older or younger when looking for someone to date? It's weird, I'm into slightly older-than-me guys, but probably girls who are barely a bit younger than me. Have you ever been used? I don't think so. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Like I've said in plenty of surveys: Jason is probably a permanent fixture. But also as of the past two days, Girt's been living up there. I went from "hmmm I just don't know how I feel" to "FUCK I want to talk to him about how stupidly into him I am right this fucking INSTANT" pretty goddamn fast. It kinda scares me just because of how extreme my feelings are. Again. That's only ever gotten me hurt. Buuuut let's not get into that. Have you ever got caught cheating on a test? No, because I've never tried to. Will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope it won't be. But it's not like I know the future. Have you ever worn an oxygen mask? Actually yes, when I was young and thought I was having an asthma attack or something. Mom had one for her own asthma. Then I obviously wore one for surgery. What song do you want to be played at your funeral? "Paradise" by Coldplay is absolutely #1. How many swear words are in the song you’re listening to? I'm not listening to music; I'm back to watching Gab play Sekiro. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same sex, and if so, who? Yeah, just Sara. Who did you last tell to ‘shut up’? Ha, I think my WoW friend Lyndsey, but only playfully, of course. We pick fun at each other all the time. Would you ever get a tattoo of a boyfriend/girlfriend's name? NOOOOOOOOO. Are you one of those girls who already have baby names picked out? I know what I'd name my kids IF I actually wanted any, yeah, but I don't. Do you think guys with long hair are attractive? Yessss, I love long hair on guys. Are any of your siblings taller than you? I think Ashley is a liiiiil bit taller? I know my brother is, for sure. Have you ever scared someone so badly that they cried? Yikes, no. When was the last time you wore high heels? Boy oh boy, no idea. Is there someone that you want to hurt right now? Jeez, no thanks. What was the most interesting or colorful birthday cake you’ve had? I don't remember, but I'm sure something from childhood. What was the last thing someone bought you? Was it expensive? Mom bought me food from McD's, which obviously isn't expensive. Do you have any interesting moles anywhere you don’t want people to know of? No. Have you ever gotten high or drunk in a really formal place? Strong "no" there. Do you ever write poetry and post it on any certain websites? On the very rare occasion I write poetry and actually like it, I'll sometimes post it on dA. What do you miss most about your childhood? Actually, genuinely having fun and not dealing with fucking anhedonia. Would you like to know the precise date of your future death? Hell no. Do you photograph well? I'd like to hope so. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? Maggots and similar bug larvae. What super power would you refuse, if it was offered to you, and why? Mind reading. It just sounds... awful and overwhelming. What’s your favorite discontinued product that you wish would come back? Oh, I KNOW I have answers to this, just none are coming to me immediately and I don't feel like sitting here for five minutes thinking about it. If adults had show and tell, what would you bring into work? My snek! :') If you had a reset button for the last 10 years, would you press it? Tempting, but... I don't think I would. I cannot go through how deep my depression was again. Who is someone you would never swear in front of? My nieces and nephew. Yes, I don't believe in profanity being a "thing" and is just a stupid human fabrication, but nevertheless I acknowledge societal standards and expectations, and they're way too young to get when you shouldn't say something like that and why. Have you ever won a contest or competition? A few. Who is your favorite TV character? I don't think I really have one? Do you coo over other people’s babies? Not really, no. Sometimes I'll think they're super cute and be like "awww," but I don't like... squeal and spaz like some people do. What is something that makes you very squeamish? VOMIT. Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? Steve Irwin got me deeper than anyone else. Chester Bennington hit real hard, too. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? Most of my closest ones, yes, at least via Facebook. What’s a movie that you want to see? Old movie, but Jacob's Ladder. It was a massive influence on Silent Hill, so naturally, I'll probably love it. It's a classic, anyway. Do you use the same username everywhere online or do you have a lot? I use "Ozzkat" in most places, but I do have some other ones for different sites. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? My friend Ana recently revealed she's expecting her second child, a boy. What fad were you actually into? I have zero clue. Have you ever tailgated? Would you want to? Fuck no. That's how so many wrecks happen. My sister legit got in a wreck with an 18-wheeler mostly because she was tailgating (which she does BADLY); she was trying to pass, and he moved over at the same time because he couldn't see her coming around. It's a borderline miracle she got out with only some cuts, bruises, and a seatbelt burn. Have patience, people. Get off cars' asses. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? Look, don't get me started on this. There are a shitload of reasons and I have been way too emotional over this the past few days laksdfja;lwke What’s the last thing you had to eat? A bagel w/ cream cheese for breakfast. Do you ever pick up your house phone? We don't have a landline phone. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? Personalities, for sure. I cannot be into you if your personality isn't attractive.

[r-herring]

Victuuri Fic Recs

I haven’t done a rec post in a while, so I think it’s about time. Here are a few from my embarrassingly long master list—more incoming as soon as I have time! Some of these are quite popular, but others are criminally under-appreciated and deserve more love and kudos. Please be aware that some of the fics below are heavier than my usual fic rec fare (we all know I am easily bruised when it comes to Victuuri angst). Please take care and mind the listed TWs and the tags within the fics themselves. In no particular order:

I’ll be your Steady Satellite by @catalists

"After seven months as Hawking Space Station’s resident astrobotanist, Yuuri Katsuki hasn’t managed to grow any plants in zero gravity. What have grown are his feelings for his childhood hero and now-coworker, mathematical genius and exobiologist Viktor Nikiforov. When a mechanical error leaves them at the mercy of the empty vastness of space, Yuuri and Viktor are forced to confront their budding relationship in the face of a terrible sacrifice.”

Space AU! Space settings and loneliness go together like peanut butter and jelly and Yuuri and Viktor. My heart grew three sizes reading about two very lonely people falling in love in a confined setting and then shattered when space became the dangerous place it so often is and a terrible choice had to be made. What I really appreciated about this fic is that the effects of that choice weren’t shrugged off and weighed on Yuuri and Viktor for quite a while. Everything will be okay though, because they have each other. If you want a story about loneliness, love, and sacrifice, and feel like a good cry, this one will hit you like a mallet wrapped in the softest cloth. 

TW: suicidal ideation and attempt 

Into That Good Night by @lavenderprose (MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH)

“‘What was it like?’ Yuuri asks. The scrape of his skates is slow and gentle on the ice, and Viktor looks up to watch him come near. He stops inches away, eyes fixed on the stands. ‘To be in front of thousands of people? To hear them shouting your name?’ Viktor looks at him, this beautiful man he's somehow found on the other side of the world in a town that doesn't exist, and says, ‘It was marvelous.’ Viktor Nikiforov has neglected life and love for over seventy years. Fighting a losing battle with illness, he takes up residence in what is known as a twilight town. In a city on the sea built of dreams and memories, he meets another dying man.”

Me? Recommending a story with Major Character Death? This is a first. Relax, it’s a San Junipero AU, so it’s MCD Lite. That being said, this story is soft, melancholy, and bittersweet more than straight ANGST, but it’s not for the faint of heart. Lavenderprose’s prose is gorgeous and it will make you think just as much as it will, on occasion, devastate your poor heart. 

If you’d like something lighter, I also recommend Take Hold, a lovely Soulmate AU. 

TW: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH (have I said that enough?)

The Fall of this Empire will be Loud by @vntya

"In 1991, the Soviet Union collapses. In 1989, the Berlin wall falls. In 1987, Viktor Nikiforov, iconic figure skater and darling of the USSR, defects to the United States. In 1986, Yuuri Katsuki falls in love.”

This fic recently updated after a hiatus and I am so, so happy it’s back. It’s a Cold War AU and danger lurks around every corner for our star-crossed lovers, but you know it’s going to be okay from the very first chapter. However, the road to the eventual happy ending is rocky indeed.  

TW: period-typical homophobia Hide and Seek by @senshoo

"Thankfully, the walk only took a few moments and soon, Yuuri was juggling both the child and the key while he shouldered his way into the apartment, set the kid down on his second hand couch, and then sighed, sinking to the floor. One deep breath. Maybe two. And then, it hit him. Holy shit. Did he just kidnap a child? Or: The one where Yuuri accidentally becomes a father at twenty three. Oh, and there's still skating.”

Don’t brush this one off as kid fic. Trust me. Do not. Little Yuri does not overshadow the adult characters or decimate the plot like a wrecking ball hopped up on Pixie Sticks. He is well-written, as are Yuuri, Viktor, and Phichit. If you love found family fic, you will love this! Tadaima by @stammiviktor

"After decades of wandering, Viktor finds a home in the Katsuki family.”

Speaking of found family fic, this Victor-centric one is a masterpiece. As I sit here trying to come up with a summary for this fic, I am drawing a blank; there are too many good moments to condense into a little paragraph. This fic is soft, poignant, and just so, so beautiful. I cried over a paper bag. Really. You will understand once you read it. READ. THIS. FIC.

Confidential Information by @iwritebetterthanispeak​

"Yuuri never imagined that being able to figure skate would be useful for his job at Interpol. He was very, very wrong. Viktor Nikiforov, as a famous athlete popular in the public eye, has received threats before. There are very few he takes seriously. However, as more secrets are uncovered and nothing is as it appears, the stakes rise until it becomes clear that there may not be a way to save him this time."

Yuuri is an Interpol agent, Viktor is still a skater, and I am a nervous wreck reading about them. This fic has a thriller-like pace, particularly in the later chapters, so if you want something with a little more get-up-and-go, this is a must read. 

TW: major character injury; minor character death; death threats against major characters; violence; homophobia The Crow Upon the Sea by @amberstarfight

"Supposedly, Katsuki Yuuri can hear strange messages on the radio, the government is raiding random homes in his town, and Viktor Nikiforov has disappeared. The truth is a completely different story.”

A genetically modified Russian spy AU. This fic is a difficult one to summarize since, as a well-developed AU with excellent world building, it is packed to the brim with detail. Government conspiracy, romance, this fic has it all in spades. If you like Sci-Fi and/or Spy AUs, this is an absolute must read!

TW: major character injury; forced medical procedures

The Clockwork Prince by @momothistle

“Figures are beautiful automatons designed to entertain. Artisans are those specially trained tend to them and keep Figures in working order. Yuuri became an Artisan in hopes of meeting the Figure that captured his heart as a child, the ice dancer Viktor. Yuuri had long given up his dream and opened a small shop. Then one day, his entire life changes when Prince Yuri comes and requests Yuuri to make emergency repairs on his Figure, the one and only Viktor.”

I debated whether on not to put this on the list since it hasn’t updated in some time and I suspect it might be dead. Nevertheless, what we have been given is a beautiful and very unique Steampunk AU. Even if it stays incomplete, I think it is worth the read! [Fair warning, there is side Otayuri if that’s not your thing.]