#there are several reasons for this (went on a vacation there in high school and liked it; considered grad school there;

[pentanguine]

Does anyone else ever get the sudden yen to move to Wisconsin?

[forget-you-morelike-fuck-you]

That's What Friends Are For- E.M.

I've been really thirsty for Virgin!Bestfriend!Reader x Eddie so I poured myself this taaaallll drink of water. Hope you love it xx

You've never had an orgasm, and Eddie would be happy to help remedy that.

Part 2

Masterlist

TW- 18+ MINORS DNI!! Cursing, mentions of smoking, heavy petting, pet names (angel, sweetheart), a lil crying (but in a good way), fingering (lmk if I missed any)

Pairings- Virgin!Bestfriend!Reader x Eddie

Word Count- 4,802

(Gifs not mine, credit to owner!)

It wasn’t something that you’d normally ask, but with the haze of weed clouding your senses and the exaggerated moans of the poor actress being exploited for the dumb action movie you and Eddie were watching out of sheer boredom, you couldn’t help yourself. You turn to Eddie, the cogs in your head turning in overtime as the words reach your mouth before you can even put too much stock in them, “What does an orgasm even feel like?” Your eyes narrow as you imagine it, the sounds of the woman on screen echoing in your mind. There’s no way that real people sound like that, no, this is just some stupid movie that you and Eddie had never even heard of before digging it out of the pile of tapes beneath the TV. “I mean, I guess it’s gotta feel good, but does it feel that good?”  

While you ponder the probability of the sounds onscreen being at all accurate for real-world scenarios, Eddie’s face pales, the light high he’d been enjoying completely knocked out of his body at your words. Despite being best friends for the past several years, you never really talked about your sex lives with each other. For you, it was because it didn’t exist. For Eddie, it was because the only person he really wanted anymore was you. Every other person in town combined couldn’t interest him half as much as you, and he had definitely looked. Pining after your best friend for years wasn’t really something Eddie was interested in doing, not that it helped. Of course, the only reason you hadn’t made a move—aside from the fact that you were thoroughly terrified at the thought of being rejected—was because you thought that Eddie was something of a ladies’ man. You knew he was much more experienced than you, not that that was a difficult feat, but you knew that he at least went on dates. And you never wanted your attraction to him get in the way of your friendship anyway. If he liked you, he would’ve made a move sooner, right?  

Wrong. 

Eddie had fallen head over heels for you about a year after you had met, both of you juniors in high school. You went away with your family on vacation for a couple weeks that summer and came back... different. You were more confident, and even though it had only been a short separation, you looked different, more womanly than gangly teenager. He liked you before, but some switch inside his chest flicked, like the lights were finally turning on in some long-forgotten roller coaster ride. He’s had it bad for you ever since, suffering in silence because he knows how shy you used to be, and still are to some extent. He would never, ever want to do or say anything to make you uncomfortable, including putting his feelings on the line in exchange for your amazing friendship.  

Still, the news that you didn’t know what an orgasm felt like was surprising. He knew you were private about your dating life, and he always respected that. But you had had boyfriends before. And you were both in your early 20s now. Surely you had been with one of them. Or even figured it out on your own... 

“What?” is the brilliant response that flies from Eddie’s lips as his brain short circuits. You look back at his face, having wandered away, lost in thought. Eddie half expects you to backtrack, but still, to his surprise, you double down. 

“What does an orgasm feel like?” He can tell your Mary Jane consumption must be fueling this line of questioning, but if you’re really curious... 

“Um, well...” Eddie flounders, trying to find the words to say. You keep your focus on him, your thoughts trailing only slightly as you wait for him to respond. “It... It does feel really good. I don’t know exactly what it feels like for women, but for guys, at least, for me, it’s like my whole body kind of explodes, but in, like, the best way,”  

You mull this over for a moment, your eyes darting between Eddie’s face and the screen, which has since moved past the over-exaggerated sex scene back into shootouts between the good guy and the bad ones. “Okay, well, have any of the girls you’ve been with ever sounded like that?” You were genuinely curious, trying to imagine what could feel that good and coming up blank. 

Eddie chuckles a bit, eyes flicking up in a memory, “Well, one, but I’m pretty sure she was faking. Some women think they have to sound like that because that’s what the movies show them they’re supposed to sound like. But really, there are all different kinds of... sounds... that people make when they’re feeling that good,” he explains, his surprise relaxing now into amusement just slightly. 

“Oh,” You look back at the screen, apparently done with your questions. Eddie feels his heartbeat fading back into its normal rhythm after the near heart-attack you had inflicted upon him, and things go quiet for a minute before you turn your head back toward him, mouth poised open to speak. “Do you think—Never mind,” You quickly shove the thought back down your throat, remembering that Eddie’s not supposed to know you’ve been in love with him forever.  

The possibilities of what you were about to ask him makes his heart race again, until he’s burning to know. “What is it?” He asks, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. 

Your lips press together and shake your head as a heat spreads over your face, giving you a moment of clarity amid the warmth of the high. “No, it’s okay, it was a dumb question,” You wave your hand in dismissal, and pray that Eddie doesn’t press it further in fear of your mouth working faster than your logic. Of course, you have no such luck. 

“There are no dumb questions. If you want to know something, all you have to do is ask. Would I ever judge you for anything? And really think about that, because I’ve seen you pick a pickle up off the floor and eat it,” He laughs, trying to diffuse the tension. It helps a little, and with his reassurance and that fleeting moment of clarity far away, you open your mouth again, hesitating as you find the right words. 

“Do you think... that you could maybe... show me?”  

Eddie’s eyes bulge from his skull, and he’s afraid that his heart has totally stopped for a minute. But after an agonizing moment, a thick thump of his heart breathes life back into him, and he can only pray that you can’t hear it as it loudly thump, thump, thumps in his chest.  

“Show you..?” It’s a begging question. He’s not exactly sure which part you want to learn, and he wants to make sure he doesn’t assume anything. 

You turn away again, the mortification laying over you in a thick blanket. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have... You can forget it,” 

Eddie doesn’t want to mess this up, and the visions of you making such pretty little sounds for him, or better yet, unraveling under his touch, automatically send all of the spare blood in his body downward, so quickly that he almost becomes dizzy. He has to make an effort to shift his body to hide his growing erection as he tries to reassure you. “No, no! Don’t worry, I’m listening. It’s okay, I swear! What do you want me to show you? I... I can do my best,” His voice is sincere, sincere enough to make you look sheepishly back at him, your lashes low as you try not to look in his eyes. 

You take a deep breath, your head buzzing with adrenaline as you form the words. “Would you show me how to have an orgasm?”  

Eddie swallows hard, his Adam’s Apple bobbing in his throat. He’s trying so hard to make this seem as chill as possible, for both of your sakes. If he gets too eager too quickly, there’s no way he wouldn’t just bust in his pajama pants, and he might scare you. His mouth is dry as he nods quickly, “Um, yeah. I- I can definitely try,” He watches as your face grows redder by the second, but you give a small smile, one that makes Eddie lightheaded again as another shockwave of want shoots through his half-hard cock. “Do you want to go to my room?” He asks softly, gauging the look on your face as you still avoid his eyes.  

“Yeah,” You murmur, but your legs won’t move. There’s a want in you, despite not knowing how to indulge it, and as Eddie gets up from the couch, offering a hand to you, you take it and squeeze, finally looking up at him. Eddie feels like he might faint in that moment, your hazy eyes doe-like and innocent, not making it any easier for him to keep calm. He pulls you up to your feet and you follow him, your hand in his, to his room.  

You shut the door behind you, flicking the lock on the knob despite being the only ones home, and turn to face Eddie, who stands just behind you, still not believing what might happen. “S-so, um...” He begins, feet shuffling beneath him. “For girls, it’s a lot harder to... finish. It takes a lot of warming up first,” Your brow furrows. 

“Warming up?” A blush breaks out over Eddie’s cheeks, and he reaches out to let his fingers trace up your arm, ghosting over your shoulder and up your neck. A breath hitches in your throat as his palm cups your face, and suddenly, you think you might know what he means. Nevertheless, he explains. 

“It’s a lot easier when you’re feeling good from other things first. Like touching, kissing... things like that. It can be painful if you don’t do it right,” Your lashes flutter as he leans in slightly, and you can feel his warm breath fan over your face. 

“Oh,” Eddie lets out a breath of a laugh at your breathless response, and already you feel yourself turning to putty in his hands.  

“I want you to tell me if you don’t like something, okay? Don’t try to spare my feelings. If you want me to stop doing something, or you want me to do something specific, you tell me. Okay?” The demanding edge in his whispers snaps you back to reality, and you feel a warmth building deep within you. It’s nothing like you’ve ever felt before. Sure, shadows of this have been felt watching risqué movies with sex scenes or kissing your prior boyfriends awkwardly in the backs of their cars, but that pales in comparison. This is a new, deep burn in the very depths of your body. 

“Mhmm,” You try to lean closer to him, to feel more, but his other hand goes to your waist, holding you in place. Your eyes meet his, and they’re unexpectedly hard, his brown eyes serious as he looks at you. 

“I need you to say it. I need to know you can say it,” Your breath stutters again at his words, but still, you find your voice. 

“I- I don’t like that,” You whisper, and it’s all you can do. Eddie nods in approval, but his eyes want you to continue, “I want you... I want you to kiss me,” You can hear the hammer of your heart in your ears, your blood singing as the anticipation grows. Eddie’s eyes return to their normal softness, gazing into yours like he’s seeing the sun set over the ocean for the first time.  

“Are you sure?” Eddie whispers as he inches toward you, his face leaning down ever closer. This might be the closest you’ve ever been to him, and the thought sends a delicious shiver up your spine. His nose just brushes yours, and your eyes flutter shut. 

“I want you to kiss me, Eddie,” It’s barely a breath, but he hears you, and gently, gently, his lips meet yours, barely a brush of skin against skin. You hear him suck in a deep breath before letting his lips move against yours a little more firmly, the hand on your waist snaking around your back to pull you closer to him. You let your hands find the back of his hair, which is up in a cute, messy bun, and your fingers wind themselves around a few loose, curly tendrils there. Then, Eddie’s lips move across your cheek, down toward your jaw, and the first sound comes loose from your lips. 

It’s a tiny noise, but it might as well have been Eddie’s favorite song, the way he revels in it. He can feel the pounding of your heart in your chest as you press yourself against him, not really knowing what to do other than let Eddie work his way down your neck with his lips. “E-Eddie...” You whimper, hands gently grasping at the fabric at the back of his worn t-shirt.  

Eddie stops then, immediately, waiting for your instruction. He had gone too far, hadn’t he? He had done something to make you uncomfortable and now you’d never ever talk to him again... “Can we lay down?” You ask, breathy and quiet in his ear. He presses a firm kiss to the top of your shoulder in relief, elated that you were enjoying what was happening before pulling away. 

“Yeah, let’s get you comfy,” He smiles one of those easy, lopsided smiles that takes your breath away, and you feel the butterflies that usually reside in your stomach move downward to your core. You instinctively clench your thighs together to try to squash the foreign feeling, but as Eddie moves to lay down, you see the bulge in his loose pants, and it sends a new swarm flooding your body. With a deep breath, you join Eddie and lay next to him, his face only inches from yours. His hand reaches toward your face, gently brushing a few stray hairs behind your ear. “Do you want to just keep kissing, or are you ready to try something else?” He asks. You think it over, biting the inside of your lip as you bite back the embarrassment of being so inexperienced next to him.  

“Can we try something new and still do some kissing?” You smile sheepishly, not being able to hold his gaze as your face heats. He lets out a small laugh, not at you, but because you’re so nervous. 

“Yeah, we can do that. Is it okay if I touch you? I can just try a few things and you can figure out what you like,” He suggests, his eyes roaming over you. You’re not wearing a bra, because you never did when you and Eddie were just lounging around watching movies and smoking, something Eddie had to get used to quick when your body started really developing. Once or twice when he was a few years younger, he had to fake an upset stomach just to relieve his aching cock in the bathroom upon seeing your pert nipples through the fabric of one of his old t-shirts. 

“Yeah, I think I’d like that,” With your permission, Eddie’s fingers gently reach the hem of your shirt, slipping under and running his calloused fingertips over the smooth skin of your side. You let out a gasp, your eyes screwing shut, and he notices the way your hips move of their own accord, trying to scratch an itch you’ve never felt before. He has to bite back a moan of his own just at the sight of you, so beautiful, so willing beneath his capable hands. He lets out a shaky breath as his hand moves up your side, leaning in to kiss you like he said he would, like he was aching to do again, and you accept his lips greedily, your hands pressing into the sides of his face as he glides across your skin, not light enough to tickle, but enough to send tingles over your skin, goosebumps forming in the wake of his caress. 

When his hand comes to cup your breast, not daring to flick over the sensitive nub just yet, you let out your second noise as he gives a little squeeze there. This one is muffled by his lips, pressed firmly to yours, and the vibration of it shoots straight down to his cock, which twitches willfully in his pants, wanting you more and more every second that passes. 

With a light touch, Eddie lets his thumb just brush your nipple, and it sends an electric shock through you, leading to your third noise, a much sharper sound that almost sounds painful. But when your lips press into his even harder, Eddie is only spurred on and he does it again, then lets his full hand grope over the full mound, rubbing across your breast with his palm. Eddie lets his tongue trace over your bottom lip then, and you open your mouth to him, not really knowing how to kiss with tongue, but unwilling to stop to make a comment about it as your body ignites to a new level of fire and electricity.  

Your legs are continuously rubbing together now, the friction glorious but not enough, and you want to feel more. You’re panting in between the long stretches of kissing, and while you don’t want to stop, you also need to tell Eddie what you want. So, instead of rushing back to his kiss, you press your thumb gently to his bottom lip, pupils blown with need. “Can you take my shorts off?” You ask, your confidence building. Eddie nods all too eagerly, and he gets up onto his knees to shift town toward your bottom half. You roll onto your back and lift your butt to make it a bit easier for him, his hands finding purchase at your hips, fingers dipping just below the waistband when he stops. 

“Do you want me to take your underwear off too?” He asks, wanting to be sure. You bite your lip again as the embarrassment floods back. 

“I’m not wearing any...” You admit, giving a small smile. His hands grip at your hips a bit harder then, and his sharp breath only helps your growing need. This is the most beautiful you’ve ever seen him, towering over you like this. You can see the long outline of his length through his pants now, and you let your mind wonder what could happen if this goes even further than you originally intended. It’s enough to make your hips roll in Eddie’s hands as he starts pulling down your sleep shorts. You close your eyes, trying to keep your embarrassment from making you chicken out when you’re finally about to get what you’ve always wanted. 

“Holy shit,” Eddie breathes, and your eyes shoot open as you stare at him, mortification building in your chest. 

“What? Is it bad? Do I look weird?” You ask in a flurry. Your hands go to cover your face, thighs clenching together to spare yourself when Eddie pries your legs apart again. 

“What? God no! You look... You look fucking amazing,” There’s a wonder in his voice, and you peek through your fingers to find him staring down at you, the look on his face amorous, hungry almost, like you’re his favorite meal in the world. It takes you aback, but nevertheless, there’s a twitch in your hips again, seeking a friction that you can no longer achieve for the time being. Eddie gently lowers himself on top of you, and you let out a moan when you feel the fabric of his pants brushing over your bare pussy. You let your hands fall as you try to push yourself into him, but there’s a hand holding onto your hip now to keep you down. “Oh my god, please, can you try not to do that right now? I am already in serious danger here, angel. If I feel even a little bit of you against my dick I’m fucking done for,” Eddie breathes a laugh to cover the moan in his voice, his face hovering over yours. 

“B-but I want—” Eddie cuts you off with a deep kiss, his hand squeezing into your hip as you desperately try to feel him against you again. 

“Not tonight, sweetheart. I want this one to be about you, okay? If you still want to in the morning, we can circle back,” Eddie offers, and you give a small nod. “Okay, then. I’m gonna touch you now, okay? I’ll go nice and slow. If you want me to change what I’m doing, just tell me,” You nod again and the hand gripping your hip travels down and his lips meet the hollow of your neck, giving just a tiny nip at the skin that sends your hips up again in need. Eddie tries to hold it in, but he can’t help but moan softly against your skin as he continues his journey.  

His fingers ghost just over the sensitive bud of nerves then, and the shock that goes through your body is even more intense than before when he was playing with your nipple. Your arms fling around his back and you grip the fabric of his t-shirt like a lifeline. “I’m gonna take good care of you,” Eddie whispers as he travels up your neck, “I’m gonna make you feel so good,”  

The promise is punctuated by a soft circle around your clit, and your whimper is so pathetic it startles you as it tumbles from your lips. You can feel how wet you are now; how hot your core is against his fingertips. It’s so blissful, so wanton that you feel your walls clenching around nothing, another new feeling that sends your head reeling. Eddie continues his gentle pattern around your bud, sucking sweet bruises into the skin below your ear between whispers of sweet nothing that spur you forward on your quest into the unknown world of this beautiful feeling. 

“E-Eddie,” You plead, head thrown back in pleasure. Your fingers pull his shirt so that your hands connect with his skin, “Can you go—Can you go a little f-faster, please?” Eddie nods into the crook of your neck as he complies, fingers moving just a bit faster, a bit firmer against you, and your chest starts heaving in pants again, moans spilling from your mouth more freely now. You grind into his hand pathetically as the intense pleasure grows. You feel like you could cry at the feeling, so blissful and beautiful and everything you’ve ever dreamed of as Eddie works you further and further, his lips only ever leaving your skin to whisper sweet nothings to you. 

“You’re doing so good... I can’t believe I get to do this for you... Been wanting you like this for so long...” Eddie nips and sucks and licks across your neck, up your face, across your lips, and you’re just so consumed by him that you feel hot little pinpricks in the corners of your eyes, your throat going thick as the tears begin. 

When Eddie catches sight of the first one, he slows his work on your core, afraid that you had changed your mind. “Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” You feel a pang of panic then, not really knowing why but knowing that you were desperate to reach the edge you were approaching. You pull at his shirt, not being able to verbalize your excruciating need for a second. 

“No, no!” You plead, “Don’t stop, please... I just... Please don’t stop...” You don’t know why you’re crying. Maybe because it feels so good, maybe because the emotions are just so new that your body is startled by them. Either way, Eddie is reluctant but believes you, because he trusts you and you trust him so completely that you don’t think that there’s any way that either of you would or even could hurt each other. 

Eddie picks up the pace again, his lips focusing on yours now to help keep you from crying. Your fingernails scratch up his back as you whine and writhe beneath him, coming closer and closer to something. There’s a tenseness in your stomach now, and it’s building. There must be a precipice close, a pinnacle to all of this pleasure and need Eddie has been giving you. Your panting breaths become more ragged, and Eddie gets the feeling that you’re close. 

“That’s it, angel. You gonna cum for me?” He practically moans against your mouth, and it’s another agonizing minute of this pressure inside you building before you feel it.  

Your hands clench Eddie’s shirt as you unravel. Your tears are flowing freely down your face, mouth open in a loud moan that reverberates on the walls of Eddie’s small room. Eddie keeps drawing circles over your clit as you ride through the waves of your first ever orgasm, kissing down to the top of your chest and back up to add to the pleasure. Finally, you feel it start to subside, the wide waves lessening into ripples as your breath starts to even out again. Eddie slows down again, and finally stops after a few more seconds, wanting to draw out your bliss as much as he can. He kisses you deeply, the hand on your pussy traveling up to grip your side, sliding up past the hem of your shirt as he holds you firm. You can feel the slick on his fingers cooling down on your skin, and it sends a new wave of shivers through your body.  

You kiss each other for a long time, not wanting to go back to reality where you’re just friends, but finally you have to pull away for air. You look at each other, both of you quiet. There’s a new electricity in the air, charged with the anticipation of what you’ll say to each other now that everything has changed.  

“How was that?” Eddie settles on, his brow set in a concerning furrow. He wants to make sure that you had the best experience he could’ve offered you, because that’s what you deserve. You deserve to feel this good all the time. 

Your soft eyes bore into his and you nod slowly, trying to etch every detail of this night into your memory forever. “It was amazing. You are...” Your hand comes to hold his face, and he leans into your touch in such a way that your heart melts for him even more. “You’re so amazing, Eddie, thank you.” You give a little laugh then, at how silly it sounds for you to thank your friend for giving you an orgasm. Eddie laughs a little too, and he stretches his lips to kiss the edge of your palm. 

“Anything for my favorite girl,” He whispers, smiling that easy smile that you love so much. Pride sparkles in your chest at his words. God, you love him so much... 

“So...” You feel a blush creeping on your face again, “You’ve been wanting me... like this?” You think back to the words he whispered against your neck that made your insides turn to mush. 

Eddie flicks his eyes away from you, embarrassed. “You caught that, huh?” 

“Was I not supposed to?” You giggle, your smile sending shockwaves through Eddie’s body. 

“Well, I just didn’t think you would. You seemed to be pretty distracted if I recall,” He jabs playfully, his gaze returning to you. His eyes soften at his next thought, “What do you think about that?” 

This is it, this is where everything changes. It’ll never be the same after this. “I...” You begin, building your courage. “I’ve been wanting that, too.”  

Eddie’s face moves through confusion, surprise, and then settles on joy, his smile widening to reach his sparking brown eyes. “Yeah? You’ve been wanting that too?” Your smile matches his as you nod, letting out a breath of a laugh with the relief settling in your chest. 

Suddenly, Eddie squeezes you in a bone crushing hug, peppering kisses over your face as you giggle. His lips settle on yours again, and it’s like taking a drink of cool water after wandering in the desert. You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to this, but by God, you’d be happy to. 

You keep kissing and cuddling for a long time, talking like you usually do, how best friends do, but now it’s just better. Best friends, but there’s no more hesitancy, no more wishing for more, because now, you have everything you could ever want. 

[kayr0ss]

Phishing Attack [Sulemio Fanfic]

[Gundam: The Witch from Mercury / GWitch, Sulemio, Fluff & Humor, post-canon, married, miorine is down bad, lmfao, self-inudlgent office shenanigans] AO3 Link

Summary: Unfortunately for her, Miorine falls for the IT department's phishing attack test email and has to go through GUND-ARM, Inc's mandatory security training. Fortunately for her, it seems her wife, of all people, was the one teaching it.

-

"Uhm—"

This poor kid. Miorine was going to have a talk with Nuno about this, because there was absolutely no reason for him to send the newest tech support hire to her office for something he could have emailed her about. She wonders if he and Ojelo placed a bet on whether or not he would do it. That wouldn't do. She'd have to give them an earful after all this.

Or, even better, she'd tell Lilique. No one liked to get on Lilique's bad side.

"Is everything okay?" She crossed her arms, trying to school her expression into something... nicer? It didn't look like it was working, because he visibly gulped.

"P—President! I'm here because you—uh. Email."

"Email?"

He looked down towards his feet, his voice barely over a whisper. "...test email that IT had sent out."

Miorine pinched the bridge of her nose, doing her best to even out her breathing. "Hey. It's okay, I don't bite. I can barely hear you."

"You clicked on a phishing test email! That—that IT sent out. Kargan-san told me, to tell you, that you have to attend mandatory training or else your email access was going to get revoked."

She frowned, eyes flitting to her laptop, unable to keep an incredulous huff at bay. Phishing email? She was usually really careful about this, when did she even—she paused.

She remembers now. Last night, while working late from home, she received an email from what she thought was a travel agency. She had been looking into booking a vacation for their family, and wanted to sign up for their newsletter and so she—oh. She clicked a link.

She sighed, deep and weary, leaning forward on her desk. "Thank you," she waved at the young man. "I'll go talk to Nuno."

He sighed in relief, said his greetings, and left.

-

"He looked terrified! Why would you do that?" She growled across the lunch table towards Nuno, who was holding up his tray in defense. "You could have told me yourself!"

"But how was he supposed to learn? Besides, it's a good time to work on rapport-building, for you!"

"That doesn’t make any sense." She slammed down her coffee mug, visibly irritated. "And also totally targeted. You knew that I was planning a vacation for us."

"What, did you think phishing attacks were just randomly cast nets? These things have gotten more sophisticated! Especially for C-suite individuals like you. Do you know what kind of cybersecurity liability it would have been if your email got compromised?"

"I know that!" Miorine groaned in frustration. "Fine, I'll do the training. But really? Revoking my email access?"

"Hey—you signed off on the ops manual yourself!"

"You have to set an example for following the rules, Miorine-san." Aliya laughed.

And she was right. And Miorine hated it. But she always resented authority who didn't play fair, so she was going to do her best to set a good example. She went back to eating, stabbing at her potato wedges with unnecessary force, making Nuno and Ojelo grimace with each stab.

"By the way," he elbowed Ojelo, who was dejectedly playing with his salad. "You owe me. I told you she'd fall for it."

"You two are impossible!"

-

"There's no way they got you too." Miorine deadpanned, looking at the only other person seated in the conference room. It had several long tables, arranged in a U-configuration, and had high-backed leather office chairs that rolled themselves back to place when you clapped. She thought it was a bit much, but... Nika liked over-engineering things, so here they were.

Nika smiled sheepishly. "They sent me an email for a parts sale. I clicked the link without thinking too much."

"A sale?" Miorine almost laughed. "Nika, your department has the highest budget."

"No, not for work—it was uhm. For mobile suit figures?" She twiddled her thumbs. "The little models I like to build?"

Miorine couldn't even be upset. She actually laughed this time (“They were full mechanics! I couldn’t resist!”). Everyone had their weaknesses, it seemed.

"So this is the training video we made for all the new hires, and whoever else needs it." Ojelo was setting the screen up. "It's about an hour long—"

"An hour?" Miorine slammed her palms on the desk.

"Yes, an hour!" He barked back, crossing his arms. "Obviously, since you two are here—our literal president and the person who designs all our prototypes—we need it! I can hardly think of two worse people to fail this test."

Miorine sighed, covering her face with her hands, because he was right.

"Let's just get this over and done with."

The holo-screen flickered to life, Ojelo waved them goodbye, and then Miorine's jaw dropped because—

[Hello there, GUND-ARM, Inc.!]

She knew that voice. It was only the title screen, without showing the speaker, but she knew. 

Then the video feed finally came on, and she swallowed: it was Suletta. She was smiling sweetly at the viewer, wearing a business suit that had GUND-ARM, Inc's pin on the blazer’s lapel. She felt the air rush out her lungs, and jolted upright from her seat.

[Welcome to the first module of Cybersecurity 101! My name is Suletta Mercury-Rembran, and I—]

Miorine felt her mouth dry up because why?

She whipped her head towards Nika. "Why is my wife teaching the cybersecurity training?!"

She briefly remembers Suletta mentioning something about getting filmed for a GUND-ARM, Inc. video. It was quite a while ago, and Miorine figured it was just another marketing campaign, but she didn't realize that it might have also been this.

"I mean," Nika shrugged. "She is a literal teacher. I imagine out of all of us she's the most qualified to conduct a training."

Which. Okay. Fair—it made sense! But still—why?

Miorine ran her hand through her hair, grounding herself. Why did she look so good even on screen? Who's idea was it? Did she want to thank them or throttle them? 

Why on this ridiculous Earth was she so goddamn attractive?

(A rhetorical question, for sure: she knew with absolute certainty that that was simply a truth of this world.)

[Let's start with the basics: What exactly is a phishing attack?]

-

[14:47 SEST] Nika : It kind of feels like I should leave T_T

[14:47 SEST] Ojelo: lmaooooooooooo

[14:49 SEST] Nika: please let me leave

[14:53 SEST] Nuno: I'm sorry but u are also literally a security risk until u learn this so u can't

[14:54 SEST] Nika: fml

-

It was almost impossible to listen, but also impossible to look away. Miorine put an honest effort into taking down notes, into remembering the tell-tale signs of a fake domain name and the most common typing mistakes made in phishing emails. They even had little quizzes in between that they had to take on their phone before moving onto the next section. Apparently, failing those meant having to take the training again and... and, well, that was both pleasant and terribly embarrassing.

At the halfway point, Miorine had crossed her arms, flushed deeply, and sighed.

"You okay, Miorine-san?" Nika poked her on the shoulder.

Suletta had just flashed another charming smile on screen, congratulating the viewer for finishing this section.

"She's so—" Miorine slowly tipped over, leaning forward, and planted her face on the table, muttering. "—pretty."

-

[Don't forget! Urgent language and unsecured links are really good tells! Are you feeling ready for your next test? Once again, please check your company phone's training app, and—]

Miorine pulled out her phone. She was so ready for this quiz. She had been locked in and could probably recite company policy backwards at this point.

Nika, for the fifteenth time within the past forty-five minutes, tried not to keel over laughing.

-

[Still there?]

Sang Suletta's sweet, whimsical voice.

[Thanks for sticking with it! Good job, we're almost through! You're doing great!]

Miorine had nearly snapped her stylus in half, blushing, but she powered on in the name of professionalism and—spite. For Nuno and Ojelo, of course. Not Suletta.

She checked her watch. They weren't kidding about it taking no less than an hour. She leaned back into her chair, unable to deny the fact that it was nice to take a short break from paperwork and checking spreadsheets all afternoon.

-

She had bolted out the room as soon as the training was done.

"Leaving in a hurry?" Sabina caught her haphazardly stuffing all her things into her leather folio.

"Yes."

It was a Thursday, which meant Suletta didn't have an afternoon class to teach, which meant she was already home by now.

"I'll call for the car, then." She hummed.

"Thank you."

Miorine almost forgot her keys, fishing them out her drawer before grabbing her coat off the back of her chair. It was probably windy, but she was in too much of a hurry to bother putting it on, instead bundling it in her arms with her folio.

-

Suletta was surprised to hear the jingle of Miorine's keys so early in the afternoon. 

She looked up from the book she was reading, happy to see the front door swing open. She carefully got up, a smile on her face.

"Miorine! You're home early—" she stopped in her tracks. "You look mad. Why do you look mad?"

And—in the most confusing three seconds of her life—Miorine had pulled her in by the collar, gotten up to her tip-toes, and kissed her. 

Honest to god kissed her.

"Whoa," she mumbled against Miorine's lips in a daze. She leaned forward a little, settling her free hand on Miorine's waist, bending down so that her wife didn't have to struggle reaching her.

Finally pulling back, Suletta gave her a hesitant smile. "I missed you too?"

"I clicked a stupid phishing email."

What? Suletta blinked, stupefied, wondering what that had to do with the fact that Miorine was shrugging her coat off and kissing her—again.

"An—" she took a breath "—email?"

"Yeah." Miorine pushed them towards the hallway, and Suletta awkwardly stumbled along with her. "How are you so—so—"

"Eh?” Suletta’s brows furrowed. “Me? What do you mean?"

“So…” Miorine had a frown and the prettiest blush Suletta had ever seen. "Beautiful. In the training video."

There was an almost-audible click in Suletta's head. 

She finally put two and two together. 

"Oh!" She gasped. "Oh no, they made you watch the training video?" She laughed. "That must have been funny. I was so embarrassed filming it!"

"I think you did great." Miorine was still pushing her, having kicked off her shoes now.  She fished the book out of Suletta's hand ("Hey!") and placed it on the nearest table. "But I might have already forgotten the whole thing."

Miorine hastily felt for the door knob to their bedroom, swinging it open and pulling Suletta in by her shirt.

"Miorine!"

"You should remind me again."

-

fin

-

A/N:

Thank you to @saltypyrotato for once again beta reading this! You're the best broski! This is basically some self-indulgent office shenanigans that I can't help but imagine would happen lmaoooo

[poisonlove]

Sorry... | j.o

It's a story set in a high school and revolves around Y/n, a lesbian student who has faced bullying and discrimination because of her sexuality. Her life takes an unexpected turn when Jenna, a popular and cruel girl, approaches her unexpectedly.

Summer vacation had just ended, and it was time to return to school. The sense of freedom and carefreeness I had enjoyed during the summer was fading, giving way to anxiety and worry about what awaited me in the new and fortunately final school year.

I walked to school, headphones in my ears playing the sweet sound of "Daylight" by David Kushner. The music enveloped me, trying to make me forget the impending start of a new school year, which I anticipated to be as disastrous as the previous ones.

I paused for a moment, taking in my surroundings. Leaves were slowly falling onto the grass, a sign that summer was gradually giving way to autumn. The temperatures were dropping, and the bus stop was as crowded as ever, with familiar faces. Looking around the neighborhood, I noticed subtle differences. The air was quieter than usual, with many people still asleep at this hour. Gray clouds covered the sky, giving the atmosphere a more melancholic feel.

I walked almost like a shadow, lost in my thoughts. A sigh of frustration escaped my lips as I thought about why I should endure this daily torture. Why should I endure the bruises from the taunts inflicted by the popular kids?

The truth is, there is a reason, even though there shouldn't be. I'm a lesbian. It's surprising how something so personal can become an issue for others, especially considering we're in the 21st century. I often wonder how my sexuality could affect anyone's life other than my own. It should be a personal matter, a part of who I am, but it seems that some people are obsessed with the idea that they should judge me for it. I didn't choose to be a lesbian; it's simply who I am, and it feels unfair that I have to bear the weight of others' prejudice and ignorance.

There's a sense of frustration in seeing the world move forward in many other areas but still having to face discrimination and bullying because of my identity. But despite it all, I'll continue to be myself and hope that one day the world can accept anyone, regardless of who we love.

I sigh deeply and shake my head, instinctively biting my lower lip as I walk. Confusion and frustration surround me, but I try to keep them at bay. My eyes turn towards the house in front of me, and a spontaneous smile spreads across my face when I see my best friend, Sofia Carson, coming out of her house with her backpack. It's a relief to see her, especially in moments like this.

Sofia is a girl with black hair and lively eyes that radiate enviable confidence. Her contagious smile and friendly personality make her a special person. As I get a little closer, I see Sofia running toward me with a radiant smile on her lips. Her black hair flows behind her as she approaches, almost as if her positive energy could brighten the whole day. She's my rock in this chaotic world, and her presence makes me feel stronger and less alone.

I remove my headphones and turn my attention to Sofia. "Hey, Sof. How was the trip?" I ask with a smile, trying to momentarily push away the thoughts that were tormenting me.

Sofia wraps an arm around my neck and leans her weight against my body.

"I missed you so much, you know?" she says, looking at me with bright eyes.

"We haven't seen each other for just two weeks," I murmur, amused.

"True... but the trip to Europe was great... I went to Italy!" she exclaims with enthusiasm.

"Is it true that everyone in Italy is beautiful?" I ask with curiosity, and Sofia huffs, nodding several times. Her reaction makes me laugh.

"Yes, it's true..." Sofia seems a bit embarrassed as she bites her lower lip, and I can't help but laugh again.

"And what have you been up to these past two weeks while I was gone?" Sofia asks timidly, and a shiver runs slightly down my spine. During that time, I experienced a panic attack and escalating depression, succumbing to the temptation of the razor blade. Unconsciously, I pull the sleeve of my leather jacket down to hide the scars.

"Oh, nothing special, you know," I reply, trying to smile. I don't want to worry Sofia with my problems, at least not right now.

Sofia looks at me out of the corner of her eye, seeming to doubt my words. My attempt to conceal what I've been through in the past two weeks doesn't seem convincing. Without even realizing it, we had already reached the gates of LA High School. We look at the imposing building, aware that another school year awaits us.

"Oh, did you hear? The new album by The Weeknd just came out!" Sofia exclaims with excitement. "Really? I didn't know!" I respond, surprised and relieved by the change of topic. "I'll have to listen to it when I get home."

A few steps ahead, as we gaze at the school panorama, Sofia returns to the subject. "I bet it's fantastic; his last album was amazing."

"I hope so," I say with a smile. "I like his music."

We exchange a few more words, but soon Sofia is called over by some of her friends in the distance. "Hey, y/n/n, want to come with me?" she asks, but I shake my head, feeling embarrassed. I don't want to add my discomfort to her social interactions, so I watch her walk away, hoping that my best friend can enjoy her day without the burdens I carry with me.

I put my headphones back on, and my smile quickly fades, replaced by the sadness that seems to inevitably return. As I pass through the school doors, anxiety grows within me.

But before I can take a step, two arms enter my field of vision, and I find myself quickly with my back against the lockers. The force of the impact makes me grit my teeth and hold back the tears, clenching my jaw to prevent a whimper from escaping my lips.

The perpetrator of my pain is Asher Spenser, the brown-haired guy and captain of the basketball team. "Look who we have here! And I was hoping not to see you until at least the last year," he says with a contemptuous smile.

"But at least I'll have something to take my frustration out on, you disgusting freak," he hisses through his teeth, his tone filled with hatred and ridicule. As I face yet another challenge in my day, I know I must find the strength to endure these cruel words and ongoing torment.

Asher sadistically laughs. "Without your little friend Sofia? She was always there to solve your problems."

His laughter is like a knife stabbing into my heart, and I feel increasingly isolated.

Then, with a boundless malevolence, he continues to whisper, "Even your best friend got tired of you... do everyone a favor... kill yourself."

His words are like daggers in the dark, hurting more than his physical actions. My jaw clenches as I try to hold back the tears, and humiliation and anger merge into a storm within me. But I know I can't let him see how much he's hurt me. I have to endure.

"What do you want, Asher?" I murmur weakly, hoping he'll go away.

"The disgusting lesbian suddenly found some courage!" he says sarcastically, and before I can react, he pushes me against the lockers again.

A female voice intervenes from a distance.

"Let her go, Ash." But Asher seems to ignore her. He presses my face against the locker, forcing me to turn my attention to the instigator of my torment, Jenna Ortega. She's the captain of the cheerleading squad and the leader of the popular group. Next to her is Cassie, her best friend, who's sipping on a smoothie.

"Stop looking at Cassie, a freak like you can't ogle my girlfriend," Asher slams my body against the lockers again, making me slide to the ground. His violence is palpable as I stand there, unable to react or defend myself. Anger and shame blend together as I feel the gazes of curious onlookers.

"Let her go, Ash," Jenna repeats, giving me a quick glance. Her request seems surprising given her involvement in my troubles. "Suddenly you're being nice to her?" Asher asks, looking puzzled. Jenna opens her mouth in indignation. "I can't stand her, you know that," she justifies herself, "it's just that some teachers are roaming the school, and if they catch you, you'll get detention."

Before I can get up from the ground, a liquid spills over my head. I feel completely dirty from what seemed to be a strawberry smoothie. With tear-blurred eyes, I look towards Cassie.

She then throws the empty cup at me, always wearing a smirk on her lips. Her laughter is malicious and cold, while Asher laughs heartily by her side. Jenna, on the other hand, has a strange look on her face, as if she's reflecting on what's happening.

Without thinking, I run to the bathroom, utterly embarrassed, just wishing to get rid of the sticky smoothie. My day has turned into a nightmare, and the only comfort I can find is in the privacy of the bathroom, where I can try to recover and hide my humiliation.

I dash towards the bathrooms with my head down, earning chuckles and looks of pity from some students who have stopped to witness the scene. My desperate run draws the attention and sympathy of those who see my condition.

I know a place where I can seek refuge. It's a bathroom located on the fifth floor, long abandoned by the school. The walls are faded and peeling, the floor is covered in dust. Mirrors are often cracked or scratched, and the air is filled with a gloomy and neglected atmosphere. It's a place where no one would bother to look for me, an isolated corner where I can hide my shame and try to regain a semblance of dignity. It's my secret sanctuary, away from prying eyes and the torment of bullies.

The first thing I do when I enter the bathroom is take off my leather jacket, leaving just the hoodie and top. I look at myself in the mirror, and my reflection fills me with disgust. Tears silently stream down my cheeks. Amidst the sobs, I turn on the faucet, letting the water flow. I bite my lower lip as I lean down, tilting my head to wet my hair, desperately trying to remove the sticky smoothie.

The cold water runs through my hair and down my skin, refreshing my flushed face. As I continue to rinse my hair, I hear a voice coming from the entrance of the bathroom.

"So, you were here when we couldn't find you," the voice says. I glance at myself in the mirror again, wondering why Jenna can't just leave me alone.

"What do you want, Jenna? You want to pull my hair? You want to dunk my head in the toilet?" I ask in frustration, challenging her. I've reached a point where I can't bear her cruelties without defending myself.

Jenna blinks in surprise, seemingly not expecting my reaction. Her expression, however, quickly turns into a disdainful sneer. Her skin is impeccably fair, and her black hair falls in soft waves. She's wearing a short skirt and a pink crop top that showcases her well-maintained figure. Despite her attractive appearance, her ruthless and cruel demeanor makes it hard to ignore how toxic she can be.

"I just wanted to know how you were," Jenna defends herself with what seems like a gentle tone, although her eyes betray a hint of sarcasm.

At that moment, I smile sarcastically too, unable to believe her words. I know all too well that behind this sudden concern lies another form of manipulation. Jenna excels at making her actions appear kind, only to strike even harder afterward. I won't be fooled by her.

"What do you want, Jenna?" I ask again, trying to understand her true intentions. Her eyes move along my wet body, following the path of water droplets running from my hair down my shoulders and down my body to my abdomen. It's an embarrassing sensation, feeling scrutinized like this.

"I told you, I wanted to know how you were," Jenna replies again, but this time, she seems to say it without sarcasm. Her sudden sincerity surprises me, but I remain cautious. I'm not sure if I can really trust her words, considering her history of cruelty.

"Come on, Jenna... we both know you're no saint," I say with a hint of venom in my voice.Jenna huffs with anger, evidently irritated by my challenge.

The tension between us is palpable, and even though it seems like she wants to be kind now, I can't forget all the pain she has inflicted on me in the past.

I'm cautious, but at least for now, it seems like she wants to stop tormenting me. Her eyes move along my body again, but this time, they linger on my arm. I shudder, realizing that someone has discovered my scars. My breathing becomes irregular as Jenna looks at me with confusion and panic.

"Do... do you hurt yourself?" Jenna asks, swallowing nervously. Her words hit me like a punch in the gut. I had never thought that someone would discover my darkest secret. Instinctively, I grab my jacket and put it on, wanting to cover my scars. At that moment, I don't care that I'm only wearing a top, as I have no intention of going to class, and I'll likely go home early.

Jenna approaches me, looking at my wrist covered by the jacket's sleeve. Her expression is hard to decipher, a mix of concern and confusion. I'm not sure what to make of this situation. I had never imagined having such a conversation with Jenna.

"Show me..." Jenna mutters and, without waiting for my response, takes my hand. Her nails delicately trace my skin before she lifts the jacket's sleeve. It's surprising how gentle she is in this moment. She places her hand around my scars, feeling their texture.

"Why do you cut yourself?" Jenna timidly asks.

"Isn't it obvious?" I respond with venom, anger boiling inside me.

"Listen..." Jenna starts, but I immediately cut her off. I have no desire to listen to her or explain my reasons.

"Sorry okay?" She say.

Consumed by anger, I approach her, and surprisingly, she doesn't move, almost challenging me with her gaze. "I don't need your pity... not after you've shown me your true colors all these years," I say with a whisper, my voice filled with anger.

I don't want her pity now, after everything I've been through. Jenna looks at me with tearful, shining eyes, but my heart is too full of pain and anger to accept her apologies so easily. "It was my only way..." Jenna mutters, her voice breaking, "...it was my only way to get close to you." Her confession surprises me deeply.

I had never imagined that her actions could be an attempt to get closer to me, even if it was in a strange and destructive way. My anger and pain mix with confusion as I try to understand her motivations.

"But what the hell..." I mutter instinctively, unable to believe what I'm hearing.

Jenna continues to speak, confessing her true motivations. "I was... I was so jealous of how you could be yourself without fear of others' reactions... You seemed happy... you were happy even though others looked at you strangely, knowing your sexual orientation..."

Jenna swallows nervously, visibly anxious but continues. "I... really like you, Y/n," she confesses, her words filling the air between us.

I'm taken aback by this revelation. I had never imagined that Jenna could have romantic feelings for me after everything she had done.

"Don't mock me..." I say with anger, my confusion and pain turning into rage. "If you really like me, you wouldn't have treated me that way."

Her past actions, her bullying, and her cruelties had been so damaging to me that it's hard to accept her words now. I'm not sure if I can trust Jenna, even though she seems to have opened up to me.

"Do I seem like an idiot to you?" I ask, watching Jenna shake her head.

"I saw how people looked at you... I was afraid that someone like me would be treated the same," she confesses sincerely.

"Just because you're a popular girl doesn't mean you can't fall for someone like me," I say sarcastically, my anger and frustration still palpable. Her admission is creating a mix of emotions in me, but I can't help but be skeptical of her intentions.

The situation is incredibly complicated.

"I'm really in love with you..." Jenna murmurs softly, placing her hand on my cheek. I close my eyes at her touch, feeling her nails on my skin. But Jenna's touch shakes me, and I quickly remove her hand from my face.

"You could have just been my friend... like Sofia..." I mutter, smiling sarcastically. "Now I need to leave; this situation is really unpleasant."

Without saying another word, I leave the room, leaving Jenna Ortega confused and alone.

And certainly, such a confession wasn't enough to erase what she had done.

[octuscle]

If a nerd in highschool suddenly gained muscular body, without an effect on his brains or mental state

How quickly would he actually, naturally change? Maybe the attention gives him an ego?

Or maybe the jocks want to be his friend

How much of a jock could the nerd become?

Project diary, entry 1 (Friday)

My name is Salomon Miller. I live in Providence, Connecticut and am a senior in high school. I wouldn't say I have any real hobbies, but I am interested in art history, architecture, astronomy and geology. And many other things. I read a lot and actually everything I can get my hands on. But my passion is sociology and political science. That's also one of the reasons why I'm writing this diary. Starting next semester, I will be studying at Stanford and have a full scholarship, which is linked to my participation in a project. The Department of Sociology will use my person to investigate the effects of serious physical changes on the psyche and behavior. I won't find out in advance what the physical changes are, but the changes were set in motion with the help of an injection that I received today.

My parents support me in the project. My father is a lawyer specializing in environmental law, my mother is a neurologist and psychiatrist. Neither of them understand why I chose to study sociology, but as they both studied at Stanford, they accept my plans. They don't have many options either, they are both in Europe for a long time. My mother has a research semester at the University Hospital of Heidelberg and my father is currently representing a client in a lengthy case at the European Court of Justice. I've known this situation since I was a child. I'm used to having our gardener or Consuela, our housekeeper, as my social contact. That's not meant in a negative way, I love my parents, even if our contact is often less intensive. This has taught me a certain independence, which I really appreciate.

Today is the Friday evening before the last weekend of the summer vacation. The date was chosen deliberately for the injection. This gives me until Monday morning to get used to the upcoming transformation. At the moment, I feel nothing more than a certain tiredness. Normally I would go for a long walk or read something. But I'm just exhausted and will go to bed early.

Project diary, entry 2 (Saturday)

I woke up at around 03:00 in the morning. I was scared to death. I was almost strangled by my pyjamas. I tried to rip the top off my body. I tore it completely to shreds. I was no longer wearing my pyjama bottoms, which were already lying in tatters in my bed. It was clear to me that the transformation had begun. And a look in the bathroom mirror gave me certainty. My whole body was twitching, just like I'd seen in a Hulk movie. Except I didn't turn green. But my muscles literally grew. In fact, little else has changed. I am still clearly me. Even though my neck was already wider than my head, which is why I almost suffocated in my pyjamas, this was still my face. My hairstyle unchanged. My eyesight was also the same. Fortunately, the head can't get any more muscular, the glasses still fit. My thoughts were running amok in my head, I can't describe the feeling, especially as the cramps didn't stop and the muscles continued to grow. I lay down on my bed and tried to relax. At around 04:30 the cramps subsided and I fell asleep again from exhaustion.

When I woke up at around 09:45, I was lying sticky and sweaty in a dried up puddle of semen. Obviously I had ejaculated once or several times. After getting up, I went to the bathroom to assess the change. According to the scales, I now weigh 120 kilograms (I assume that documentation in metric units is more scientific), my height is unchanged at 182 cm. What has actually changed is the length of my penis, which is now 18 cm when flaccid. I have not yet been able to measure the length when erect. In fact, I would have thought that the sight of a muscular man would somehow excite me. But my head has been working like crazy since I got up, I suppose my blood is needed in my brain and is not available for an erection. The shower was still an incredible experience. My body feels great. I had no idea what muscles felt like. However, I realized while showering that I had a problem: None of my clothes would fit me anymore. And my father is smaller than me and, like I was until yesterday, is also more of an ectomorph. My only hope was that José, our gardener, who is probably almost as muscular as me and about my height, had some of his clothes in the dirty laundry. He and Consuela both don't work at the weekend and I didn't want to invade his room.

I was actually lucky and managed to find a pair of jeans, a jockstrap, a T-shirt and a pair of tennis socks in the laundry. Everything smelled very unpleasant and at first I thought about washing it first and then putting it on, but then decided against it. Instead, I went to the mall as I was to buy something new to wear. There is an expense account from the project, which is presumably intended for exactly these cases. Shopping really was an ordeal. As usual, I went to Macy's at Providence Place Mall first, but I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't going to find anything in my size there besides clothes for gym class. Then I went to Abercrombie & Fitch for the first time. The sales assistants literally pounced on me. The XXL T-shirts fitted reasonably well, my thighs were too big for the jeans, but shorts were fine. Fortunately, the weather forecast for the next few days is still very good.

Even though I was extremely focused on quickly working through my shopping list and getting back home, I didn't miss the effect I had on my body. Not only did the sales clerks pay much more attention to me, people turned to me, nodded appreciatively at me and greeted me. It all made me extremely uncomfortable. I was glad when I got home again.

Project diary, entry 3 (Sunday)

I'm not really a religious person, but I value the institution of the church as a culturally integrating entity. So I probably would have actually gone to church, but I would have been very uncomfortable in shorts and low-cut t-shirts that exposed my chest. So I spent the day making up my bed, doing the laundry and getting ready for the first day of school after the vacations. My story for teachers and classmates will be that I spent the summer in Europe with my parents and discovered my enthusiasm for the gym out of boredom. I have no idea whether this story will be accepted. As much as possible, I completed the course enrollment online. Because I really have no idea what I can do with this body, I signed up for boxing and wrestling. The alternative would have been football, but I have no experience at all with team and ball sports. Swimming used to be the sport I hated the least, but a few laps in our pool today have shown me that my body has become less streamlined. Although I have a lot more strength, my times are worse than usual.

I have signed up again for the astronomy and chess clubs. Apart from that, I thought it made sense to leave myself enough time to be able to react to unexpected events.

My first real test was my Sunday video conference with my parents. As I can't hide anything, I decided to take the offensive and had the conversation in nothing but my swimming trunks by the pool. Even though I had no real idea of my parents' reaction, I was actually taken aback. My mother scientifically dissected the situation and said that my body was probably more efficient now and therefore I would have a benefit gain. My father disagreed, as he assumed that a bulkier body had a worse ecological balance. In the beginning, I tried to approach this project as objectively as possible. But then I couldn't help but start crying. I was afraid of tomorrow. And my parents actually showed something like emotion and compassion.

Project diary, entry 4 (Monday)

I was expecting something like running the gauntlet. But the first day at school was actually relatively unproblematic. Most of my friends at least pretended to believe my story about my stay in Europe. The teachers were not surprised either and largely went straight back to business as usual. The only noticeable reaction came from the musclemen and jocks. I have the feeling that they never took their eyes off me. When there was eye contact, I received a respectful nod. Otherwise, I felt a bit like a foreign lion approaching a pride of lions. Every muscle of the alpha animals and their water carriers was tense and ready to strike if I got too close to their watering hole. I'm looking forward to my first PE lesson tomorrow.

Project diary, entry 6 (Tuesday)

While the morning was more of a triumph, the afternoon was a debacle. The subject matter in chemistry and physics suits me very well, everything is very interesting. There shouldn't be any significant challenges in Spanish lessons either. But the new Spanish teacher is also an advantage here. Based on her first impression, she probably thought I was a hollow nut. She didn't expect me to have already read Don Quixote in the original and in the contemporary Spanish transcription during the vacations.

I embarrassed myself to the bone in gym class. Of course, after my contrived lie, everyone assumed that I knew my way around the gym like the back of my hand. And I don't even know how to hold a barbell properly. Interestingly, no one laughed at me or anything. On the contrary, they all assumed that I'm extremely underchallenged and told me that I should just train for myself and that I should join them next week after I've learned the basics. But maybe that was just polite contempt.

In any case, I spent the whole afternoon and evening at home watching all the gym tutorials I could get hold of and reading everything I could find about bodybuilding, nutrition and supplements. That's why I skipped the first session of the chess club. But I had to prioritize.

Project diary, entry 7 (Wednesday)

Theory is good, practice is better. That's why I went straight to the gym this morning at 06:00. The school janitor who opened the door for me said appreciatively that my discipline was paying off. The big boys are always the first to arrive in the morning. If only he knew. But in fact I was lucky, I was alone on the training area until 07:00 and by then I had familiarized myself with most of the machines I had learned how they worked in theory and had also developed a feeling for the weights I was able to lift.

The second visitor to the gym after me was the quarterback of the football team. Stephen and I have been at the same school since first grade. Of course I know him. But of course he has no idea who I am. We've never had classes together and someone like me is of course a nobody to him. Or was a nobody to him. Now I was his biggest rival, the only classmate who had bigger biceps and a broader chest than him. And being the alpha male that he was, he sought conflict directly. As far as I know, the jocks and Himbo's call it "cock comparison". Wherever I trained, he did the same afterwards with more weight. After training, he waited for me in front of the shower and said that he had already heard about me. I was the Spanish exchange student. I looked at him questioningly. "Well, the one who had that book with the windmills and the crazy knight at school. The linebacker goes to your Spanish course. Clever to take Spanish as a Spaniard," he said. I shook his hand, introduced myself as Salomon and told him we were in the same kindergarten. He returned the offered hand with a fist bump and said that I must have mistaken him. He had never been to Spain. But I spoke very good English for a Spaniard.

I always prefer to spend my lunch break alone. I like to read or just relax. This time, however, Stephen waved me straight over to him and his boys. He introduced me as Sal and said I should tell him how I liked it in the USA. At first, I wanted to start comparing European democracies with the US, especially in light of the rise of populist tendencies. But then I didn't think that was a good idea and just said that I thought the USA was the greatest country in the world. Stephen gave me a fistbump and all his buddies followed suit. Before English class after lunch, my friend Frederick passed me and said somewhat reproachfully whether I would always eat with the football team now. I laughed and gave him a fist bump and said that I would only eat as long as my primate research project lasted.

Project diary, entry 8 (Friday)

Yesterday was a wild day! I went to wrestling practice. Everyone but me has taken wrestling as a sport since they were in high school. I'm the only one who had no experience at all. Sure, I looked at and read through everything I could find to prepare. But without any practical experience, I really made a fool of myself. Thank God the coach really understood me. He said that he was sorry that bodybuilding wasn't a school subject. And then he gave me tips on how to pose properly. Damn, when I stood in front of the mirror in just my underpants and he touched my muscles to get them in the right position, I got a boner. And he obviously noticed. He then hugged me from behind and massaged my nipples. It was a feeling I'd never experienced before. I started to moan. He pulled me close to him. I felt his hard-on against my ass. And then I had my first orgasm outside of my bathroom. I was so embarrassed. And it was so great! Since then, I've really just wanted to make my coach proud. I've spent every spare minute at the gym, signed up to the sports club to do more wrestling and spent a small fortune on sportswear. I'm afraid I have a real crush for the first time in my life.

Today I got a telling off from my friends from the astronomy club. I missed the meeting and no longer see them during school breaks. I admit it, I'm neglecting my old social environment. But I have to find my way in my new role. Or rather, I have to find this new role first. Tonight I have a date with a couple of guys from the sports club. We're going to the gym first and then want to watch football in the sports bar. I'm a bit excited because I've tended to spend my weekend evenings alone in front of the computer so far. Now I have to think about what I'm going to wear.

Project diary, entry 9 (Sunday)

Dude, I might be drunk. For the second night in a row. The weekend is one big party. Last night at the sports bar was great. It was a little hard at first to pretend I knew anything about football. But after one beer I didn't give a shit. At some point, someone bought me some booze. Because his team had won or something. I was completely out of it and had to puke at some point. I can't really remember, but I'm afraid I didn't hit the toilet bowl. One of the boys then took me home with him. I really wasn't able to find my way home. Apparently, at some point I invited the boys over for a pool party on Saturday. And it escalated a little bit. Fuck, I probably have to spend the rest of the day tidying and cleaning. But for now I'm going to bed. After I've thrown up.

Project diary, entry 10 (Monday)

I'm a bit embarrassed about my behavior at the weekend. When I woke up on Sunday, a few of the boys were still snoring by the pool. And a few of them were making breakfast on the barbecue. I didn't really get around to cleaning. And then I overslept today too. Consuela suddenly came into my room and asked if my parents knew what had happened here. I gave her 100 dollars from my emergency expense fund and asked her not to reveal anything. She and Raoul actually did a great job. When I got home from astronomy club late at night, everything was pretty tidy again. The two of them are real treasures!

Mondays are not sports days. History, English, math. I admit that math has never been my hobbyhorse. And my teacher has made no secret of the fact that he thinks I'm an overprivileged white boy. When I couldn't answer a question to his satisfaction today, he said something along the lines of "Muscleheads are just all airheads". The whole back row started throwing paper balls at the teacher and hooting in protest. I have never received such expressions of sympathy.

Between school and the astronomy club, I went to the optician and got some contact lenses. Glasses are just so annoying when you're doing sport. And then I went to the hairdresser. I like my haircut. My hair is longer at the nape of my neck than at the sides. I had a photo of Coach with me and said that I wanted to look like this. Hehehe, the hairdresser said that he couldn't take away my muscles. In fact, I'm bigger than Coach. The hairdresser also shaved my beard. I haven't even written that yet, I have the feeling that my beard and body hair are growing faster and thicker. A bush is growing under my armpits and in my pubic area...

The astronomy club was terribly exhausting. I wanted to concentrate on the Jupiter-Venus conjunction. We had the best conditions to observe it today. But the nerds were all just asking questions about what exactly it was like on vacation, how I trained, how I changed my diet. I prepared myself for these kinds of questions. But every one of my answers was scientifically dissected. If it goes on like this, I'd rather look at the stars alone.

Project diary, entry 11 (Thursday)

The last few days have been pretty exciting, which is why I didn't get around to writing the diary. After training on Tuesday I went to the showers. Not all the guys on the team do this, but I just don't feel comfortable in the sweat with a bit of Axe under my arms. I also urgently needed to clear my balls and cock of the hair that was growing and shave my chest. I still can't get used to how hairy I get. In any case, it all took longer than with the other boys and then I was alone with Chuck in the shower. And suddenly Chuck knelt in front of me and sucked my cock. Without warning. I had prepared myself for intercourse in theory and in practice.

In any case, I've been a bit confused ever since. I mean, I have a crush on Coach. And Coach also got a boner when he helped me pose. I mean, he must think I'm hot too. But Chuck says he's had a crush on me ever since he and I spent Friday night together. The night I don't remember. But I'm writing all mixed up...

The blowjob in the shower was definitely sooooo hot. Even though it didn't last long. Boy, I shot my load into Chuck's mouth like that. My cum was leaking out of both corners of his mouth. He French kissed me with my cum in his mouth. Dude, I'm getting hard just thinking about it. And then he grinned and said that edging wasn't really my thing. I had no idea what he meant. In any case, I kissed him again and started wanking his cock. I was far too excited to suck him off myself. Chuck moaned and started twitching. Then he pulled me against him and wedged his cock between our stomach muscles. And then blew his load. Bloody hell! I don't know how long we showered together and soaped each other up.

In any case, I then started to gain practical experience with sexual intercourse. Chuck spent the night with me the day before yesterday and yesterday. The first time we fucked was really awkward. Chuck also asked if I was still a virgin. I said no, of course. But I'm sure he realized that it was the first time I'd fucked someone. And also that I was being fucked. In bed and in the hot tub. The first time I blew him was Wednesday in the school bathroom. We both just had a lot of pressure on our balls before civics. Shit, I'd never thought about sex before, now I can't get sex out of my head.

Practice is coming up. I just jerked off to the idea of forming a sandwich with Coach and Chuck in the shower. That would be so hot!

Project diary, entry 12 (Sunday)

Shit, I love my life. The parties this weekend were so hot. I mean, sure I love Chuck, but my dick has too much energy for one man. And Chuck gets off on me fucking other men too. As long as he's the only one who gets to fuck me. It's a point of honor, of course!

Before I go to bed now, I went to the gym again. To burn off the alcohol. And prepare my muscles for a tough week. I have my first wrestling tournament next Friday. And I've promised Steph-bruh, the quarterback, that I'll drop by football training. The hollow nut still calls me wetback, but has now understood that I'm not Spanish or Latino. And then I have to chat with my mentor from Stanford again. I don't know if sociology is really my subject. Chuck wants to study business administration. He's hoping for an athletic scholarship. Maybe I'm up for that too.

Inspiration found @redneckmusclehead

[reine-uls]

hello

I have no idea how to explain myself after going offline for months just like that but here, I’ll finally explain myself.

First of all, I apologize for disappearing for months. I was not mentally well.

Ever since July, I was on the brink of sanity. Literally every aspect of my life is in shambles. 

It got worse and worse. Every day. Like I have no idea what is happening anymore.

I didn’t leave because Tumblr was failing on me. It got fixed a couple of days later when I went offline but it didn’t drive me back. I left because of depression and anxiety. 

I was on vacation when I went offline but it wasn’t much of a vacation. It was hell. I couldn’t rest because of what was happening in my family. There had been a lot of fighting that it got to the point where the consequences are somewhat irreversible now. 

I will not get into details. It’s just so overwhelmingly exhausting and frustrating that I finally snapped and lost it. Again, it was hell. There was a lot of screaming, throwing stuff, and even beating each other up.

School wasn’t great. My performances were never good and it further declined. It kept me distracted but I became so sloppy that I started submitting my plates and assignments late. I stayed in school for twelve hours unnessesarily to avoid my family because I have nowhere to go once I’m done with classes. 

I never thought I would fall so low that I would become so bitter and completely apathetic. I got so sick of everything that I literally don’t care anymore. 

And I’m not on therapy anymore. Because it failed.

I was given new meds last time around August and it quickly ended in September… Something for bipolar mood swings and multivitamins, because I get sick a lot lately that I would be bedridden for a couple days and drink other medicines 2-3 maximum. But the bipolar meds and multivitamins stopped because I said so, and I also stopped seeking therapy because it was pointless. I cancelled on them and blocked them from my socials.

I haven't done anything anymore since August. I sleep the whole day whenever I don’t have classes. It didn’t help much, whenever I woke up I would still be physically exhausted for some reason and would be very sleepy. Since then I have slept almost 24 hours almost everyday. I probably have hypersomnia or something. I don’t know anymore. I can’t just self diagnose and can’t ask for a checkup since I don’t have a psychiatrist.

I got back to the track where I feel like nothing matters anymore, and this time I had chances to be better and yet in the end it all led me back here. The difference is it showed me how much effort I would try to put up with. Everything was just a lie that I kept telling to myself. I know deep down that I wouldn’t have a good life. No matter what I do.

All that effort to keep me going and prevent me from committing from 2023 just collapsed. 

It’s so bafflingly hilarious to me how things turn out this way. 

My life and routine drastically changed. 

I just stayed in bed whenever I’m at home, sleeping for hours and hours on end. I rarely take care of myself. I rarely wash my hair because it would become so greasy. I rarely brush my teeth when it becomes too yellow. I rarely cut my nails. I rarely change clothes as it will stench. 

Hell, I go to school even when I smell bad and appear haggard. My friends noticed it, even the school like the clinic. Because I’ve been sick a lot and one time I had a couple of bruises from a fight at home, the doctors are severely concerned over my well-being and offered counseling but I refused. 

I also haven't had a nutritional diet lately– I don’t know how long I’ll live by this. So of course the ulcer is acting up more often. But I just deal with it. I just deal with all of these unhealthy coping mechanisms and self-neglect.

Everything is just ruined. 

I honestly don’t know anymore. 

I lost count how many times I had a breakdown. It’s like junior high all over again. But it's much worse. I’m a walking corpse now. 

Just because I came back doesn’t mean everything is okay. It never was anyway. I’m just trying to do something…? But it’s still too much. I couldn’t write normally these months either. It physically hurts my brain like it was being crushed. So I would end up staring at these works for hours and just turn off my gadget and waste my days doing nothing. 

I’m trying to improve my art but I’m conditioned with tendonitis from an orthopedic and I’m only going through a simple rehab. So I couldn’t draw much, but it's what I posted more compared to my fanfics. 

I wanted to do a lot, mostly updating the fics but I physically couldn’t. I wanted to do so much. I wanted to share art, interact with other fans, do commissions and many more but I can’t seem to do it. And when time passes, all these months of being unable to do anything just eats me with guilt and regret. And even when I’m feeling all this, I still have trouble doing anything. It’s confusing. I don’t even know why I bothered to do anything in these accounts and didn’t maintain my presence as to when I did come back. It is all just for naught. It wasn’t the same as it did before.

I would’ve said something like this might be a hiatus but I couldn’t say for sure anymore what it would be. Because I don’t want to keep people and their hopes through falsehood. I apologize that I’m not a good content creator– being both an artist and writer. I’m not good at anything anyway.

[obsessedelusional]

Camp Counselor Munson

paring ✦ Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

summary ✦ You’ve been attending summer camp since forever. This year a new camp counselor joins, it’s Eddie. You’re the cheer captain, he’s the town freak. What could possibly happen between you two?Modern AU Contains smut

word count ✦ 4,800ish

authors note ✦ I love Eddie so much ): this took me forever for whatever reason lol hope y’all enjoy

masterlist

FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

This was your seventh year attending Camp Summer Haven. You've been here a few weeks out of every summer vacation since you were 11. Now at 18 years old, headed into your senior year of high school, you were too old to be just an attendee. Since you turned 16 you have been volunteering as a camp counselor. All you really had to do was make sure the six girls you were in charge of didn't miss activities and they made it through the two weeks alive.

You had grown to love this place it was an escape from the real world. Two whole weeks with friends you only seen once a year. With the no phone rule you were able to make actual connections with these people. As the cheer captain at Hawkins a lot of your friendships felt forced. For two weeks you weren’t one of the most popular girls, just another girl at camp. A few of the kids also went to your school but as you got older they stopped showing up. Which you were grateful for, you already spent all school year around them. That was more than enough for you.

"Okay guys, go get settled in your cabins," Trevor, one of the camp leaders, announces to the group of camp counselors in front of him, you included.

"The kids should be here in an hour. When they arrive please make your way to the entrance building so we can get the kids split up between everyone." He explains, passing out the cabin keys. You all nod in agreement before he takes off. Your key lets you know you'd be staying in the Cabin nine, the one the farthest away from everything. Great you mumble to yourself, annoyed.

"Yes! I got cabin two." Jessie cheers.

"Which one did you get?" She asks when she notices your sour attitude.

"Nine," You groaned. Everyone knew that cabin nine was the farthest away so usually the most neglected. Also rarely did it entice camp leaders to make the trek out there. Meaning you could possibly get away with more but that didn't matter because you never tried to get away with anything especially with six kids staying with you.

"Sorry chica," Jessie laughs.

"I'll be fine. Just late to everything." You joke back. You two had gotten extremely close several summers back.

"Well once you get settled in were all gonna meet up at the rec hall and catch up till the kids get here." She smiles when you agree and then you both part ways. Making the long walk to cabin nine.

—

About thirty minutes later your on your way to the rec hall. You changed into your Camp Haven get up. A t-shirt with the green and orange logo and the matching shorts. As a camp counselor you had a few different options to wear, you usually wore the shorts because if you were being entirely honest you liked the way you ass looked in them.

When you enter into the rec hall a few of the girls are standing around in a circle, whispering.

"What are we talking about?" You ask infiltrating their group discussion.

"The newest camp leader." Jessie chimes, her tone of voice leading you to believe he must be hot. You follow her finger where she points to Trevor speaking to the long haired, tattooed camp leader.

"Oooh," you coo agreeing with Jessie, he was fine. At least from behind, his jean so perfectly hugging his butt.

"What do we know? What's his name?" You ask, needing to know all details.

"His paperwork said Edward." Lucy answers your question, she spent most of her time helping in the office so she was the go to for all information.

"That's a ugly name." Lacey laughs. Lucy and Lacey were basically twins always attached at hips. Blonde hair, blue eyes; borderline perfect.

"Maybe he goes by Eddie." Jessie suggests and that's when all the pieces start to connect. You groan outwardly when you realize its none other than Eddie Munson. The long haired "freak" who would make a fool of him self on a daily bases at school.

"What?" Jessie asks at your groan.

"He goes to my school."

"No fucking way." Jessie chirps, all the girls attention on you now.

"Unfortunately yes."

"Girl he is so fine. Why are you so distraught?" Lucy asks, puzzled by my reaction.

"If you went to school with him you'd understand." You tried not to judge anyone but its pretty hard when he's jumping on lunch tables hissing at the jocks, some your friends unfortunately.

"Whatever. I call dibs." Lucy laughs and you listen as they all argue over who gets to claim him. Lucy was known for sleeping around with the male counselors, rumors starting when she was 15. So she'd probably get him, she always got what she wanted.

The bickering comes to a halt when Trevor leads Eddie to the group of girls to introduce him. "Girls this is Eddie he'll be our newest Camp Leader. He’s going to be heading a guitar class.”

You watch the girls as they introduce themselves all basically throwing them selves at Eddie. You can’t help but roll your eyes at them only for your attention to be drawn back to Trevor when he calls on you.

“He says he’s goes to Hawkins, isn’t that where you go?” Your eyes move from Trevor to Eddie, who’s already staring at you.

“Yes it is.” You smile making eye contact with Eddie. You had never been this close before, his eyes were breathtaking. So much that you don’t hear Trevor’s words so he says your name again this time louder.

“Sorry what?” You ask face red giving your full attention to Trevor.

“I was saying maybe you could show him around.” You nod in agreement, eyes wondering to Eddie once again. He’s actively listening to Trevor explain whatever he’s explaining. You’re too busy admiring Eddie’s features up close to listen to the words. Only to be startled when he snaps his eyes towards you, smiling because he caught you staring at him.

“Oh I think I left your cabin key in the office. Follow me and I’ll grab it for you." Trevor says to Eddie before instructing you to stay put so Eddie can find you when they’re done. You nod yes before they leave you alone with the girls again.

“What the fuck was that?” Jessie laughs the question obviously directed at you.

“What?” You ask playing dumb.

“You we’re one second away from full on drooling.” She says, everyone’s eyes on you.

“Sorry he’s so pretty?” You say as a question.

“He was totally checking you out.” Lacey says while Lucy looks pissed.

"Does not matter I called dibs." Lucy snorts.

"You can't call dibs on a whole ass human." Jessie responds, her tone annoyed.

"Still doesn't matter not like he'd want anything to do with her." Lucy says like your not standing right there. Before you can respond for yourself Jessie speaks over you going off on her. Out of the corner of your eye you see Eddie let himself back into the room, the other girls entirely unaware. You make your way towards him leading back out the door he just came through.

“What was that about?” He asks, backpack and a sports bag in hand.

“Just Lucy be her usual terrible self. She’s kind of the worst.” You admit.

“She gives off that vibe.” He laughs, the two of you walking down the dirt walkway.

“We’ll you better be careful your her next victim.” He looks at you confused.

“She called dibs on you.” You further explain.

“Dibs on me?”

“She wants you. Thinks your so fine.” You laugh mocking her bitchy tone.

“I’m good.” He laughs.

“Good.” You say before asking which cabin he got stuck in.

“So what brings you to Camp Summer Haven? You’ve never gave off summer camp energy?” You ask, leading him to his cabin.

“Joey at the music store told me I could make extra cash this summer teaching kids to play guitar.” He explains.

“You’re getting paid?” You ask acting like your upset.

“You’re not?” He asks.

“No I’ve been going here since I was ten now I volunteer.” You explain.

“You don’t give off summer camp energy either.” He responds.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” You smile, walking ahead of him.

—

Eddie follows you around as you show him to his cabin. Where he unloads all his belongings while you sit outside waiting. After that you continue your tour highlighting all the most important places.

“This is the cafeteria. If you’re ever in need of a late night treat I can teach you how to sneak in through a window in the kitchen.” You motion to the window that sits above the sink, the lock has been broken for years. The camp too oblivious to notice.

“Is that an invite?” He asks.

“Perhaps. Promise you won’t say anything. If they find out the lock is broken I don’t think I could ever forgive you.” You tease, sort of joking.

“I promise.” He laughs.

“Good. The ice cream is to die for.”

—

After your tour is over you two head to the front gate to greet the kids. All the camp leaders and counselors are gathered. Trevor quickly approaches the two of you. The two of them start a conversation while you notice Lucy shooting you a dirty look. You slip away from them to find Jessie. She sits at a picnic table with other people so you join her. Mostly sitting in silence listening to everyone else talk.

Shortly after a couple busses filled with children start to show up. Once they’re all off and waiting, Trevor gives his pre camp speech. Letting the children know to get in a single file line so they can check in, turn their phones in and retrieve their cabin number. You end up with six younger girls. You introduce your self to them and they take turns introducing themselves as you all make the trek to Cabin 9.

“So where’s everyone from?” You ask trying to get to know the kids. They all speak at once, firing off their hometowns. Some of them look familiar from previous years, the oldest whose 15 lets you know she’s from Hawkins too. Her names Mandy.

“Hawkins? Do you go to Hawkins High cause I do and I think I don’t recognize you.” You admit.

“Probably cause your one of those stuck up cheerleaders. No you’re actually the queen of the stupid cheerleaders.” She retorts, her eyes rolling back into her head.

“Okay.. just gonna try my best to not get offended by that.” You laugh as an attempt to lighten to mood.

“Whatever.” She says, attitude apparent in her tone. She doesn’t respond again so you continue to converse with the other girls. Pointing out significant places to know while staying at Camp Summer Haven. Once you arrive to Cabin 9, you continue small talk. The clock on the cabin wall lets you know, it’s nearly time for the first get to together.

Everyone slowly shows up in the recreation center, sitting in circles taking turns saying their name, age and fact about themselves. Switching every five minutes as an attempt to have everyone get to know each other. You catch Eddie more than once staring. Or maybe he was catching you staring at him. Who knows?

“Everyone switch!” Trevor yells, so everyone listens. Your with Jessie’s group now, you quickly make you way to her. She leads the activity as you sit back and let her. The kids begin, one after another. You’re not paying any attention, too busy trying to see if Eddie’s back looking at you.

“Girl Lucy is fuming,” Jessie laughs.

“Why?”

“Because she’s trying to get Eddie’s attention but he’s too busy checking you out.” She says, pointing over to where Lucy is sat. Her annoyed face tells you everything you need to know.

“That’s a shame.” You tease, laughing.

—

Dinner rolls around and your group of girls follows you to the cafeteria where you all wait in line. You notice Eddie’s already here sat at a table. When he catches you he smiles and waves, you shoot him a shy smile. Confused why he’s got you feeling this way.

“Disgusting.” Mandy says to you, actually the first thing she’s said to you in hours.

“What?” You ask.

“The way your practically drooling over him.”

“I’m not.” You lie.

“You totally are.” Another girl chimes in, a few years younger than Mandy.

“It’s okay though, he’s so cute.” She adds causing the other girls into a fit of laughter. Only Mandy doesn’t laugh, rolling her eyes for the millionth time.

The line moves slowly but eventually you have your dinner. You follow the girls to where they want to sit, when in reality you kinda really want to sit near Eddie. Your too distracted following the young one ahead of you to notice, the leg that stretches out to trip you. You fall forward, your plate goes flying as you hit the ground with a loud thud. Silence falls over the room. You look up where the leg came from, it’s none other than Lucy. She’s sat there giggling, along with Lacey.

“You should really watch where your walking.” She snickers as you attempt to pick yourself up off the floor. Her plan backfires entirely because a pair of hands lead you up, your greeted by those chocolate brown eyes you haven’t stopped thinking about since you first seen them today.

“You good?” He asks as you get back on your feet, wiping away the dust that sticks to your shirt.

“I am now.” You say and it comes out more flirty than you had intended. Doesn’t matter because the smile that spreads across his lips makes it all worth it. He helps you clean up the mess Lucy created, walking to the trash can with you.

“Thanks for the help.”

“I saw her trip you.”

“That’s Lucy for you.” You respond, looking over to where she’s sat. Her eyes already on you, giving you the nastiest look.

“What did you do to make her feel the need to trip you?” He asks, bringing your attention back to him. You could either play dumb or tell him the exact truth.

“She’s jealous.” His face tells you he wants to know more.

“She thinks there’s something going on between us. She called dibs, remember?”

“Is there?” He asks, shocking you a tad.

“Maybe.” He nods his head, trying to rack his brain. How he came to some random summer camp only for Hawkins Highs Queen to be here, lowkey flirting with him.

“If there is, maybe you’d want to sit with me for dinner. Really stick it to her.” He teases, you bite your lip thinking. Trying to decide what you should do. If anyone from school knew you were throwing yourself at Eddie “The Freak” Munson it’d be social suicide. For the most part you want to believe that you don’t care what they think.

“Yeah let’s do that.” You respond finally.

“Let me grab another plate and then I’ll be there.” You add before leaving to replace the food that was wasted. Once you’ve done that, you race to Eddie’s table sitting right next to him. You smile at Lucy before letting yourself scoot closer to Eddie. He looks down at you with a smile before continuing his conversation with whoever.

“Really Eddie?” You recognize the voice, it’s Mandy.

“What?” He responds.

“You’re just gonna forgive her? She’s the queen of all the people that treat you like dog shit.”

“Mandy stop.” Eddie demands.

“No it’s bullshit.” Mandy yells before standing up and leaving the table.

“Sorry. She’s my cousin, when her mom found out I was working at this camp. She thought it’d be good for her. If you couldn’t tell she has some anger issues.” He explains.

“She’s right though, my friends are dick heads. I’m sorry.” You contemplate leaving, embarrassed.

“You’ve never been a dick. That’s all that matters.” Eddie says, giving you a reassuring smile. When you can’t come up with a response, he continues.

“You’ve been nothing but kind to me. If you promise not to judge me for what other people have to say about me. I promise to not judge you because of your stupid friends.” You sit momentarily, trying to take in everything he just said.

“Deal.” You respond, smiling. You two continue the conversation with small talk, nothing too deep. Eventually people sit around you guys, taking Eddie’s attention away from you. So you listen and watch Eddie intently when he talks, nodding every so often.

Dinner is over, you and Eddie walk out of the cafeteria. It’s nearly 9pm, time to call it quits for the day.

“So we sneaking in tonight to get some ice cream?” He asks, reminding you that you had offered that earlier in the day.

“Yes let’s meet by the window at 11. Usually by then it’s safe.” You smile before separating. Mandy and the girls follow shortly behind. They are not so quietly whispering about Eddie and you. How they ship the two of you, while Mandy disagrees. Bringing a small smile to your lips, shook that Eddie Munson is the one causing you to be so giddy.

—

11:10

“Where is that-“ You say aloud, getting interrupted and spooked all at the same time. Eddie is finally here.

“Hey,” he smiles, trying his best not to laugh at how he startled you.

“Sorry I’m late. Trevor showed up to my cabin, wanting to talk about tomorrow.” Eddie apologies.

“It’s fine, your here now.” You respond, pushing the window open. It was much easier when you were younger, to slip in. Now you had help because all of a sudden Eddie’s hands are guiding you in. In that moment your extremely grateful he can’t see your face. Realizing quickly your ass is not full display as you climb in. Once in, you jump with a thud off the counter. Turning to face Eddie who has no problem making his way through the window.

“It’s in here,” you speak, walking over to the freezer. Eddie shuts the window before following you. You pull out two ice cream sandwiches. Sitting down, letting your back slide down the wall in the process. You look up to Eddie who’s looking down at you with a smile. Handing the second ice cream sandwich over as his sits down next to you.

Eddie is the first to start eating, you follow his lead. There’s an borderline uncomfortable silence between you two as you realize you two are alone.

“This is some good ice cream.” Eddie speaks up, breaking the silence. You face him, watching him go to town on the ice cream. Bringing a small laugh to you. Before you can even get in a second bite, his is all gone.

“You got something on your face.” You point to the chocolate that sits on his upper lip.

“If this some sick ploy to kiss me, I won’t stop you.” He says with a smug grin.

“Damn I wish I thought of that.” You tease back, taking another bite of your ice cream.

“You convinced me to come to this secluded area, all alone. Dark as fuck. Either you want me or you want to murder me.” He says, your response is laughter. Laughing harder than you laughed in a while. Only stopping when you remember you’re not suppose to be in here.

“I’m gonna murder you actually.” You respond, flatly. Finishing off your ice cream as Eddie talks.

“Makes sense. Hot cheerleader seducing the schools freak for some sick murder ritual, sacrifice type shit.” He let’s out a defeated sigh, sitting back as if he’s ready to be murdered sending you into a fit out laughter again.

“I wasn’t joking though you got something right there.” You say before doing the unthinkable. Something you could of ever imagined yourself doing in a billion years. You close the space between the two of you, pressing your lips into his. Shock radiated through Eddie’s body, causing you to pull away feeling as if you did something bad.

“I’m sorry I thought-“ You apologize.

“No don’t apologize. I was not expecting that. You’re you and I’m me, that doesn’t happen. At least not to me.” He laughs, fixing his posture so he’s sat up.

“Well it did happen.” You say.

“Can it happen again? This time I’ll be ready.” He reassures you with that stupid little grin on his face. With a roll of your eyes, you go in for a second kiss. This time Eddie wastes no time kissing you back, hands finding the back of your head pulling you in deeper. The position isn’t the most comfortable so you hook your leg over the both of his, letting your self sit on him. Hid tongue reaches your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You let it in, your tongues fighting for dominance. His hands move to your hips, pushing you down on his growing boner. A sweet moan leaves your lips at the friction.

“Fuck,” Eddie groans, pulling away from your kiss to catch his breath. Also to attempt to wrap his mind around what happening, he’s in the process of hooking up with Hawkin High head cheerleader. What the actual fuck?

“What?” You asks innocently.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? What if we get caught?” He responds with another question.

“Not Eddie Munson worried about being caught.” You say, laughing still sat in his lap.

“I mean like I was specifically told to not fraternize with the camp volunteers. That’s exactly what this is.” He says, worry in his voice.

“But I want to fraternize with you.” You respond, biting your lip. Worried that maybe you miss read the situation.

“Fuck it,” he says before kissing you again. This time more forcefully, palming the meat of your thighs with his hands. You start grinding ever so slightly on the tent in Eddie’s shorts. The feeling of his hard member feel great between the thin clothes you two wear. Eddie is the one to pull away so he can speak.

“If you keep that up I’m gonna cum.” He admits, his voice breathy.

“Can’t have that yet.” You smile, temporarily backing away from Eddie. You pull at Eddie’s shorts, bring his boxers with them. He sits up quickly in a attempt to help you slide them off easier. Letting them rest at his ankles, you had every intention of riding him. You grasp his cock, pumping it slowly. Watching him squirm under you touch, you’re enjoying this way too much.

“Not fair, you’re not nearly as naked as me.” Eddie pouts his bottom lip. You laugh in response before pulling away from his dick, lifting you shirt up over your head. Eddie reaches around you to unbuckle you bra, watching intently as it falls exposing your tits. Eddie goes blank for a few moments just starting at the view presented in front of him. You shimmy out of your shorts. Your bare body on full display.

“You’re so fucking hot.” He manages to get out, lost for words. Still not believing whats happening right now.

“You can touch me ya know?” You laugh at the fact that’s he’s been sat here gawking at you when he could be touching the real deal. It’s like a light bulb goes off in his head, his brain finally catching up with his eyes. Reaching for you, pulling you back on top of him. His mouth finds you nipple, licking it softly causing a small moan leave your lips. You wet cunt rests on top of his cock, begging for some friction. The sound of your nipple leaving Eddie’s mouth makes a pop sound.

You lift your self up just enough to align his cock with your hole. Eddie watches in amazement as you slowly sit on his cock, letting him fill you up completely. The stretch hurts a bit but you’re taking him so good. His hands rest on your hips, waiting patiently for your next move. You start off slow, grinding on Eddie’s cock. Your hands are on his chest, he’s under you letting obscenities leave his mouth.

You’re pace picks up, Eddie’s hands guiding your hips faster. He starts bucking up into you, hitting you right where it feels the best. Moans continually leave your mouth, letting Eddie know just how good he’s making you feel.

“Get on you back.” He demands, his voice deep. You listen getting off of him and laying on the floor, using your bundle of clothes as a make shift pillow. Before you know it Eddie is between you legs, holding his cock to your entrance. He slams into you, wasting no time pounding into you a brutal pace.

“Play with yourself,” he says and it nearly comes out as a growl. You do exactly what he says, finding you clit with your fingers. Rushing circles around in. The mixture of his relentless pounding and the new clitoral stimulation is almost too much.

“Just like that.” He grunts, switching up his angle ever so slightly. This new angle is just what you needed because shortly after, you’re cumming. Your coming undone on his cock, he never slows only pumps into you harder. Not long before he’s pulling out and finishing on your belly, falling next to you. Both of you lay their in silence for a moment, breathing heavily.

“Fuck,” he says barley audible. You lazily nod in respond unable to respond with words. Eddie stands up throwing his clothes back on, finding something to wipe you clean with. He helps you put your clothing back on, placing a small kiss on your lips one last time.

—

The next day is filled with glances between Eddie and you, whispering to each other in passing. Promises to meet up that night. It turns into an almost nightly event, meeting up in the cafeteria to each ice cream and fuck. Your feelings quickly grow for him, his growing just a fast. The last day of camp ends with you two agreeing to go on a real date once back in Hawkins.

The rest of summer is spent avoiding your friends to be with Eddie in private. Occasionally inviting Mandy along so she can learn to like you, maybe one day. Just a few days ago she came over to watch a movie and didn’t roll her eyes when you spoke. Not even once. You considered that a sign of progress.

Your anxieties grow as the first day of your senior year approaches. Eddie can’t help but wonder what your going to do when school starts up again. Part of him terrified it’ll be the end of you two. You don’t want it to end but you worry what will happen if everyone found out you two were dating. In the end deciding your best bet is to invite Eddie to the last summer party of the year, it’s a annual tradition. The last Saturday before school starts everyone meets at the lake, gets drunk and makes fools of themselves.

“You sure you want to do this?” Eddie asks noticing your stress.

“Yeah I do.” You attempt to smile reassuringly, failing in the process. You two are sat in his van, the party is going on in front of you. It’s not too late to dip, no one’s noticed you yet.

“It’ll be okay.” You say, not believing your own words. Eddie hops out of the van before you can you get out, you hear the sound of a jock approaching the van.

“What the fuck are you doing here Munson?” You quickly hop out, approaching the two men. More basketball players appearing. Walking up behind Eddie, you intertwine your fingers tightly squeezing tightly.

“He’s here with me.” You respond, everyone looking at you like your crazy. Ignoring them you walk right past, Eddie follows behind you closely. Towards the bonfire you see some of your friends, they’re cheerleaders too.

“Hey…” Their voices trail off when they see who’s with you.

“Y’all know Eddie right? He’s my boyfriend.” You say, smiling softly. He waves to your friends, they’re unsure if they should believe this.

“Interesting duo.” One responds.

“How’d you meet?” Another asks, eyes full of judgement. You explain politely. Their faces tell you all you need to know. They don’t approve of your new relationship. No one brave enough to tell the head cheerleader. After a short time of small talk, you find a seat for you and Eddie near the fire.

“That wasn’t so bad.” He says. You lay you head on his shoulder, hand finding his.

“They’ll come around.” You smile.

“And if they don’t?”

“They will. They just need to get to know you, learn to appreciate you like I do.” You explain, kissing Eddie publicly for the first time. Not realizing in the moment that everyone’s eyes are on you two, whispering about the cheerleader dating the town freak.

[unnervinglyferal]

Saw a thing that made me think of you for some reason. Gonna paste the entire reddit post here rather than link it, because you need to read in real time for the funny:

"My (31M) wife (32F) and I are in a healthy and happy relationship. That said, we’ve been together since high school, so we both feel that we missed out a little by being each others’ only sexual experiences. We’ve talked about this at length and decided a few years ago that we’re ok with having a few hall passes in our relationship, since we very much intend to stay together the rest of our lives and don’t want any resentment over missed possibilites. Plus it’s pretty rare that we could even find such an opportunity, as it’s a little hard to find hookups when you’re in a committed marriage and don’t go out much. We even gave each other advance approval in case a situation arises, so long as we’re safe about it and tell each other immediately afterward. We’ve both used one HP, each with someone we knew well enough but would never see again, and no issues came out of it. In fact, it’s only made us more secure in our relationship and how much we genuinely appreciate being with each other.

Recently, I had to travel to London for work. I don’t normally get to travel for work, so I decided to make a trip out of it and spend a few extra days of my own time in the city after the project was done. My wife couldn’t join because she didn’t have any vacation time left but was very supportive of me taking some time to explore since I’ve never been to London and she has. Being cheap, and being a pretty outgoing guy when I’m so inclined, I decided to stay in a hostel. I was interested in meeting other travelers since I didn’t know anyone in the city and love being sociable with new people. I chatted with several of the people staying there, and in particular a very attractive French girl (mid-20’s) who dressed super goth.

For context, I love the goth girl look. I’ve been sucked into the goth gf propaganda online, much to the annoyance of my wife. It isn’t her style, but she has been nice enough to cater to me by putting on a sexy goth outfit on occasion, since she’s knows it’s a huge fantasy of mine. Still, I pester her constantly to be more goth because I enjoy it so much.

Anyway, I ended up spending a little bit of time with goth French baddie - we both went to the hostel’s happy hour event and hit it off there. I found out that she was recently single and was in London for an art show. It turned out we were both into emo music, and we talked about our favorite bands. I had the thought that she was acting a bit flirty towards me, but didn’t think too much of it, until I later found myself sharing a sink with her in the hostel bathroom.

The hostel was co-ed, so each floor had a small shared bathroom with a communal sink, and a door that was meant to be kept open but which people frequently closed for the sake of having more privacy than just a stall to shower in. So I’m brushing my teeth while chatting up the real-life version of Shadowheart (who, mind you, is wearing an extremely low cut top), when she suddenly closes the bathroom door behind us. In my mind, my wildest fantasy is about to come true. It’s even more exciting because of the adrenaline rush of being in a semi-public setting, and a girl being so into me that she would make such a bold move. I can’t believe this is actually happening to me. I instantly get hard. Then she turns around and asks “Are you interested in learning about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?”

She had me cornered for 10 minutes trying to talk me into salvation, while I grew increasingly despondent and immensely disappointed, with the whiplash of going from what could’ve been one of the crowning moments of my life, to pure and utter dejection.

When I told my wife this story, she laughed for a solid hour. She said it’s karma for annoying her about wanting a goth gf.

TL;DR life dream was to bang a hot goth girl. Thought I was getting the opportunity, but got cockblocked by Jesus Christ. god is real and he hates me."

The fucking mood whiplash. I was reading this nodding along like okay yeah I guess that could be us in like 10 or 15 years, who knows, neither me nor my girl are the jealous type or anything, and then it fucking struck. The christians have weaponized goth girls. Fucking lost it laughing, it's been a rough 24 hours, thank you.

[aroacedragongirl]

Favourite book?/Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Favorite book - I have been absolutely obsessing over Wings of Fire recently (as you can probably tell). My favorite book in the series is almost certainly The Dangerous Gift. It just does so many things right! Snowfall's character arc is amazing and she is surprisingly entertaining. She goes from being comically paranoid about everyone and everything, and just generally terrible, to overcoming all of her fears and destroying the systems and curses that held her kingdom in place.

It was cool to see some of the icewing gifts in action, with the star of the show of course being the gift of vision. I liked the way it was written as being like this full immersion into someone else. like not reading their thoughts, but you are them. and that memory of it and their thoughts and feelings sticks with you even after you wake up. I just thought that was a really interesting concept, and it was essential to snowfall's character arc of learning to be trusting of and open to others.

Jerboa III's character and backstory was also phenomenal. The idea of her mother creating her to be this perfectly idealized version of the child she wanted, almost completely under her control, and resetting her memories unknowably countless times is just so deeply unsettling i love it. and then also she is finally able to break the cycle that she is trapped in and finally be able to live for herself as well. and also her curse is so fucked up but like in a cool way

it was also cool seeing the pyrrhian and pantalan dragons properly interacting for the first time, dont have too much to say about it but i did like that.

also i feel like the introduction of wren and sky to the mainline books was handled pretty well, i thought. It was fun watching the entire worldviews of some of the dragons shatter the first time they heard wren speak dragon, as well as cricket and i think winter nerding out over them was cute

one thing that I wish i paid more attention to was the dynamic between lynx and snowfall. For whatever reason, I have no idea why, my brain just did not fully process lynx being there sometimes and i barely remember anything that she specifically said or did. At some point Im going to reread it focusing primarily on her and her dynamic with snowfall because i feel like i missed a major element of the book

being out of state - I live in Rhode Island, which is small as fuck. Leaving it is basically a requirement for a lot of stuff. For example, i had to drive to massachusetts for my therapist appointment this morning (it was only like a 30 minute drive away). Massachusetts and connecticut like never that long of a drive from basically anywhere here so we end up going there a lot. But I have also been to a lot of other places farther away, too!

Ive been to florida several times, as my family has a disney vacation club membership, which is like a prepaid timeshare basically, so we have gone to disney world a lot. Its really pretty there, and disney is a lot of fun, but florida as a state sucks ass.

Ive also been to hawaii, which I think is the farthest ive been from home but i cant be bothered to actually look up the distances. It was really nice there and i loved the vibes of it. It also rained a ton there.

The first time i left the country was when i went on a cruise for my uncles wedding in the bahamas but i was like 4 so i remember basically nothing about it.

A few years ago I went on a trip with several other students taking spanish from my high school (none of whom I really knew that well) to Costa Rica. It was really cool and we got to see and do a lot of cool things but also i spent a lot of the time being a bit miserable and wanting to go home for reasons that i dont have the energy to get into right now so that is a story for another time, i think. It was genuinely a really cool place though, i just wished i could have enjoyed some aspects of it it a bit better. also i got to see wild sloths so that was cool

Ive also been to vermont and new hampshire. they are cool but i dont have too much to say about them right now. On a boy scouts hiking trip in new hampshire i lost feeling in my foot at the top of a mountai from the cold n so make of that what you will.

I was in band in high school, so i went on a lot of trips for that too. Sophomore year we went to pennsylvania to perform and we got to go to hershey park. We also stopped at a town called Intercourse so naturally kids were getting shirts and hats that said I heart intercourse. In junior year we went to disney world. In senior year we went to new york to see a broadway performance of wicked, and we also went to six flags in new jersey.

so yeah i think that basically covers everywhere ive been

[beezusvreeland]

a very good idea - chapter 1

summary: After your boyfriend cheats on you at a party, you break up with him, who tells you nobody else is willing to be with you like him. You decide to prove him wrong, with a little help from a new friend.

ship: miguel o'hara x f!reader

______________________________________________________________

Chapter 1

Everybody was looking at you. You were sure of it. As you walked to your locker monday morning, you started feeling dizzy as you felt several eyes full of pity focusing on you. You hated it. If it wasn’t for the english test in the second period, you would’ve already faked a disease in order to go home. 

Headphones playing “skinny dipping” by Sabrina Carpenter in your ears, you finally reached your locker. Usually Jessica would be waiting for you there, so you could walk to class together. Even though you loved her with your whole heart, you felt relieved. She knew you too well and although she would absolutely give you time and space if you needed it, you wouldn’t be able to pretend you were fine. Not with her.

Books in hand, you closed your locker and started walking toward history class. The hallways were almost empty at this point, which you were almost grateful for. The feeling went away instantly when you got closer to the classroom. You froze. Harry was leaning his back on the wall next to the door, looking at the screen of his phone, his other hand holding a box of chocolates.

As if sensing your presence, he looked up, his expression going from indifference to something that tried to be, but wasn’t quite sorrow. You wanted to disappear. You knew you would run into your ex some time during the day, but not so soon, he was always late to class. Always.

He took a few steps and got closer to you and said your name. It was like everything was happening in slow motion, you felt a jolt in your heart until the events of saturday started coming back to you. 

***

There was a party at Peter B.’s house. His aunt and uncle won a vacation to Miami in a radio contest and would be out of town for a week. You knew it because Peter told you himself when he invited you and Harry. Peter was nice and funny and you wished he and Harry were as close as they used to be. They were childhood friends, but when high school came around, Harry started walking with a different crowd and eventually Peter made new friends of his own.

Still, Peter B. never stopped trying to keep in touch with Harry, even if the effort was one sided. You felt so bad when Harry seemed uninterested in Peter’s stories or completely ignored his friend. When you started noticing that, you tried to compensate for your ex’s behavior, going out of your way to be kind and pay attention to Peter. 

Which was not hard at all, the kid had a heart of gold. He was one of the few who could circulate between all groups at school and have friends in all of them, from Mary Jane Watson in the theater department to kids like Miles Morales and Miguel O’Hara, who he was always with. 

It was your niece’s 3rd birthday on saturday night, so Harry went to Peter’s by himself and you were supposed to meet him later. Except, when you got there, everything was pure chaos. You took your phone out of your purse to text Harry and Jess, realizing it had been in airplane mode for some reason. Once you deactivated it, several notifications popped up, from texts to social media tags. Feeling uneasy, you searched for your chat with Harry first. Nothing new since you texted him a few hours before. You then clicked on Jessica’s avatar.

J: I’m here babe let me know when you arrive

J: where r u?? 

J: come already that chick gwen is gonna dj soon

she is always goooood

J: call me when you can

J: pick uppp please

J: u still at home? don’t think it’s a good idea for u to come here

You: i’m here 

You: jess whats happened

You: people are looking at me funny 

J: meet me in the kitchen

“Harry was making out with a random girl”, Jess told you, holding your hands on hers. “He didn’t even try to hide it, they were in the garden, a lot of people saw them.”

You open your mouth, but the words failed to come out. Just an hour before you were trying on outfits, trying to decide which one your boyfriend would like more on you, and then this. Jess held your hands tighter. 

“I’m so sorry, honey”, she said. “You deserve so much better than this…”

The two of you turned your heads, there were sounds of screams and things falling and breaking. 

“No no no no no, please stop, guys, please”, you heard Peter B. pleading. Your heart tugged at his desperation. 

People were joining the crowd, you and Jess followed. “What’s going on?”, she asked a guy next to them. “I think Osborn harassed the guy’s girlfriend or something”, he answered.

Standing on the tip of your toes, you saw Harry stumbling, clearly drunk or high, probably both, trying not to fall. “Fuck you, man, who do you think you are?”, he screamed at someone.

When you look at the other side, you couldn’t believe it. Of all people to fight with, Harry just had to mess with Miguel O’Hara, arguably the strongest guy from school. You met him in middle school and have taken several classes with him since. Miguel was known for keeping it to himself, but managed to have some close friends, like Gwen Stacy, Hobie Brown and Peter himself. He wasn’t anything like Harry and the other rich kids. Miguel would wear hoodies and basketball shirts, he was disorganized, always borrowing your pens during class, and every now and then would get in trouble. 

But fighting? It didn’t seem like his thing, in spite of his size and strength. He was staring at Harry, looking more serious than ever. 

“Huh? You think you are all that, motherfucker?”, Harry continued. 

“Oh, honey”, Jess looked at you, worried. Her hand wiped away a few tears from your face. You didn’t even realize you were crying. Since you arrived at that house, your life turned into a nightmare sequence. “That’s it, we’re leaving.”

As she put her arm around your shoulders, the same guy who told Jess what the fight was about screamed: “Yo, Osborn, you coward! Making your girl cry!”. 

More sounds from the crowd, your head spinning, heart breaking, you were feeling the tears now, they brought sobs too, how was that your life, why couldn’t you just wake up. Your eyes looked for Harry, he was steady, going in Miguel's direction. You looked at the latter. He was looking at you. His brown eyes wide, a crease on his forehead, mouth half parted. Somewhere in your head, you wondered if Harry had been able to hit him before you and Jess arrived. He looked like he was in a lot of pain.

Then a fist hit his face. Harry’s fist. 

Peter, Hobie and a couple of other guys held Harry, and the crowd started screaming, Jess pulled you back to the kitchen, in the direction of the back door entrance. 

You heard the music stopping and a voice, who sounded like Miles, on the microphone. “The party is over! Time to leave”, he said. People started booing him. “Y’all know my dad is a cop, right? Let’s give him a call, shall we?”

***

Harry got closer to you. Suddenly, his hand was on your cheek. 

“Honey…”, he whispered.

How could a gesture you used to love trigger the alarms in your head? Instinctively, you took a step back. 

“Harry.”

“No, hun, come on…”

“Harry.”

“Is this about the fight? If it is, you should k…”

“Harry, just listen, ok?”, you had planned so many scenarios in your head, yet, this was just coming to you naturally. “I know you cheated on me with a freshman.”

“Who told you that? It’s a bunch of l…”

“Jessica saw it. So many people saw it. Strangers were sending me pictures and videos of my boyfriend with someone else.”

“Honey…It wasn’t like that, I wasn’t thinking…”

“So, if I’m not right by your side, it’s like I don’t exist, right? You can do whatever you want”, you took a long breath. You were really doing this: “It’s over”.

“What do you mean it’s over? You’re giving up, just like this?”

“You gave me up when you kissed someone”, you let a sad chuckle out. “Not to mention the fight…I just can’t.”

“So you’re really ending this?”

“Yes.”

“You know there is no turning back, right?”, Harry had his hands on his hips, which, knowing him, meant he was pissed off. 

You nodded.

“Well, I hope you really thought this through because no one is going to accept dealing with all your bullshit like I do.”

“My bullshit?”, you gasped.

“Anxiety, depression, all that bullshit”, he pointed at you. “The whole good girl act…only I know what you are really like. No one is going to want you.”

You just looked at him. You felt sad, confused and so angry. Because, although you knew it was a provocation, he did mention your worst fears. Being too much, ending up alone, unloved — you had been there. 

What Harry didn’t consider is that you might have your insecurities, but you are also competitive and have a lot of pride. If hurting is what he wants, two can play this game. So you just stare at him with your arms crossed. 

“Ms, class has already started”, your history teacher, Mr. Bloom, opened the classroom’s door and called you. He must have sensed there was something wrong, you have always been an A+ student and a great kid. The truth is you didn’t even realize how much time had passed.

“Yes, sir”, you walked around Harry and entered the classroom.

***

You arrived right on time for english class. Entering the room after a few classmates, you noticed the teacher, Mrs. White, was standing up, talking quietly with a student. She had a motherly aura, like she is irritated, but worried most of all. 

“I’m sorry, but if you don’t apply yourself and get better grades, I can’t help you”, she said. 

“I just don’t get it”, the student said. “Numbers…they come so easy to me, words, not so much.”

“We’re going to figure this out. Now go sit.”

Already at your desk, you saw when he turned. Miguel O’Hara. His cheek was a little swollen with a purple mark, a small token of Harry’s actions. You looked at him, but he did not look back at you, staring ahead and sitting in the back. 

Then it dawned on you. An idea. A very good one.

>> chapter 2

all chapters

______________________________________________________________

a very good idea soundtrack

[thesakuragarnet]

PHOENIX AU: Fun Facts

hey y’all, sorry for being MIA. I got sick when I went on vacation but I’m home now! No idea how frequently I will be posting but I will be spending the next several months forcing myself to write so yeehaw. Anyway here’s some PHOENIX fun facts about some characters from my fanfiction lifeblood (PHOENIX: A Pro Hero Toya Todoroki AU) that I posted on my Instagram @the_sakura_garnet a while back

(includes some references to BNHA OC's that I have that are in PHOENIX and it's prequel)

MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

PHOENIX AU Toya Todoroki Fun Facts

Miyuki Sero made a bet with him during their second year involving Everclear, and it's the closest Toya's ever come to getting alcohol poisoning. Miss Kaminari forced him to clean the common room for two months as punishment

He can do the entire Ludacris rap in "Baby" by Justin Bieber

Has only cried a handful of times because of movies. Most of those times have been movies he's watched with his sister. But he'll never admit it

He and Natsuo crashed a sled into their father's car one winter, and proceeded to blame five year old Shoto for it...who was inside...with Enji...the entire time.

He has keyed the cars of all his sister's exes

PHOENIX AU Keigo Takami Fun Facts

Has sponsors from literally every place that sells chicken, but KFC is his place of choice

For one of their first dates, Keigo forced Toya to come along on a search for the "perfect chicken tender" where they ordered from every place and they ranked all of them. Led to a lot of arguments that left both of them crying from laughing so hard about how passionate the other was about their opinion

He owns several matching/complementing outfits with Rumi from their shopping spree days at the academy, and some of them are dresses

If he has the AUX there will be Broadway tunes, Harry Styles, Taylor Swift, or classic rock ONLY. With minimal exceptions

He's always playing "I Wanna Party" from Rio unironically when he's getting ready in the morning and has developed a whole song and dance routine to it. occasionally, Toya will do the second verse if he's awake and Rue will do the female vocals. There have been several early dance parties at the PHOENIX Agency, and it's a pain for collaborating heroes when they have to travel team-up for missions

PHOENIX AU Rumi Usagiyama Fun Facts

She's a black belt in taekwondo, judo, Krav Maga, and generally kicking ass (BONUS: She has a trophy that says "best at kicking ass" that Toya had made for her as a birthday gift)

She feels guilty for being cold and mean to Toya for so long before they became friends, but she doesn't know how to approach him about it (even though he's left that all behind and doesn't hold it against her)

Her favorite workout playlist artists are Nicki Minaj, Doja Cat, and Megan Thee Stallion

Midnight helped her come to terms with her sexuality with her confidence and unapologetic expression

She's double-jointed, has never taken a steroid (contrary to popular belief in the tabloids), and prides herself on being healthy

PHOENIX AU Ryuko Tatsuma Fun Facts

Her mother used to make her do beauty pageants/contests, and she would win flawlessly every time

She was born into a very wealthy family, but ironically didn't let her riches go to her head until reaching fame

During school, she occasionally ate edibles to calm her nerves as she would obsess over her grades, which is why her parties always had them

She constantly showers Rumi with extravagant gifts, but Rumi considers Ryuko the greatest gift of all

(Not so fun fact and SPOILER) she left Rumi for Uwabami when she dumped her in Chapter 40

PHOENIX AU Shinji Nishiya Fun facts

During their entire first year, Shinji was absolutely terrified of Toya because of their Quirk incompatibility (fire and wood don't mix)

He secretly had a slight crush on Rumi for a couple years, which is another reason why Yu never liked Rumi

He and Amari used to make conspiracy boards in the common room whenever they got high

He has acted as a getaway driver for a number of Toya's antics (he's the only person that doesn't make Toya carsick when he drives)

He scored the highest in Hero/Civilian/Villain Psychology during their Second and Third Years

[dennisprager]

fuck it we ball

heres a gravity falls fanfic

i actually write a lot of things, but never share them. a lot are just unfinished projects, but a lot are also fanfics. i can't post them because theyre entrenched in layers of headcanons and disregard of the source material that makes them unreadably confusing unless i censor the names to make a clean slate for the context. theyre also often otherwise bizarre, offensive and deeply personal because i only write them for myself.

this is the first thing i've written thats clean enough and close enough to the source material that i can actually post it. theres a few differences but you'll figure those out. also you don't have to have watched the show to enjoy it.

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"Aaaaand... a New Yorker." she spoke into the house phone, twiddling and curling a strand of her autumn hair like it was the cord.

"With stuffed crust." Dipper whispered, with a tug at her green tartan pyjama bottoms.

"With stuffed crust." she smiled.

Some crusty, crackling, deep and high-passed voice came through the speaker, which was just as incomprehensible as the squeaking in cartoons, though a vague monotone lethargy and world-weariness in speech crossed the interference.

"Yeah, mozzarella." she confirmed, fixing her hair to look down at a sticky note and tapping a ballpoint.

Wendy went on with the order, leaning on the kitchen counter in a typically cool way, eyes switching from the note to the night-black view outside. Dipper, secure now that the crust had been stuffed, slipped on some too-large slippers and padded out through a rusted fly-screened door into the backyard.

There was a certain buzz in the smokey summer night air; that fresh country air that hadn't greeted him in a year. Most would call it 'the flies'. But him, and his older friend, certainly felt it.

To him, the feeling of a warm, familiar place, galaxies away from science projects, Gamecube curfews and beating white Burbank heat. A place and a person where he could shoot the shit with when he usually had to shoot the poop, and the gun had to have a little plastic red tip on the end. And would get confiscated anyway.

Yet the same place was elusive, like the memory of an earlier childhood vacation. On the pitch-black night, in it's valley below, the stars of distant street lights cutting through the redwoods was a sight usually too good to be true; the warm wind brushing his hair and wetting his eyes too long ago to be felt. In his previous, and first, stay in Oregon, by the time it was over and he had to leave, it felt like a Monday alarm ending a sweet dream.

Yet here he was. For six whole weeks, with no want to waste even a moment of them this time. He grinned, and paced the trodden grass of the yard.

And right now, for this night and at least several others, it just was him and Wendy. Even his sister was back at the cabin, whom he obviously and dearly enjoyed the company of in a different way, but he wasn't in a rush to meet the clique she'd made last year and had been foaming at her mouth to talk to in-person again. They were off having their own sleepover, doing 'girl' sleepover things like tittering and painting nails and going to bed at reasonable hours. Their sleepover would be way cooler. They were gonna watch peak cinema and drink roo' beers. Cos they were dudes.

Or at least he was. Or at least would be, in two years, if you count teenagehood as the threshold for dudedom. Mere technicalities, he thought.

Only a few paces later, the excitement had him jogging laps, jogging into the darkness and crickets of the open yard's far-end, revealing more of the twinkling town lining the forms of the sheer cliffs, then slinging around a stump back towards the orange glow of the oval moth-gathered wall-lamp and the silhouetted window of the log house.

Starting with middle school he'd been increasingly more conscious about 'kid' things like breaking into running randomly, but he didn't care around Wendy. Seventeen was too old to be jeering at someone having fun like a snotty 9th grader would, and regardless of age, that was neither her nature, nor the nature of their kinda-friend-kinda-bigsister-kinda-carer relationship. She always just went with the flow and let him be him, joining in with whatever eleven year old fancies he or his sister were taken by.

She was watching him and smiling, leaning on the door frame with one arm crossed, the other tentatively swigging a skunked heineken. Her height and a summer-job clerk that didn't know her got her past IDs, though with this bottle she was wishing she'd just cracked a can of pepsi instead.

Dipper came to the end of a lap and was in her earshot.

"You yoinked my slippers, ya scoundrel."

He slowed, then started walking to the door.

"Oh, they're yours?" as if he couldn't tell by them almost falling off with each step, and as if she wasn't joking and minded.

"Yeah, so hands off."

"I wouldn't wear em on my hands, that'd be gross."

She huffed amused.

The tall girl stepped aside to let him through the door, and ruffled his hair as he passed. The wide wind and crickets softened to a muffle after the door shut, leaving only a fluorescent hum. They took a seat on two stools, made of the same saturated wood as the entire room barring the dark floor tiles.

"Thirty minutes for the food. You got cash, right, dip?"

"Wait, what? No?"

She gave a long, dramatic gasp.

"No pizza, then." she glumly accepted, slouching a cheek onto her loose white sleeves.

"...you're such a liar." he giggled.

She flicked 'maybe' with her eyes and a growing grin.

"Wanna uhh... go pick the movie while we're waiting?" she asked with a smile as dorkish and eager as his glowing through the mellow teenage exterior.

His two nods practically shook the stool.

"Then coooom'on." standing up with a lean and waving a hand to follow.

She clicked the kitchen light off before they passed through the frame into the sparsely decorated hall.

On the left of the hall, she turned the handle of a heavy oak door, leading into a cooler, unlit room. Light from the hall teased a slice of it's form, until the heavy door shut.

For a moment there was black.

A click, and a tacky white lightbulb flooded the silent room with crisp, specular clarity and colour.

Before them over a wood railing, beneath them by four shallow steps; the TV room, which for all intents and purposes was hers. A wide, top of the line (for 1996) Sony Trinitron and VCR atop a stand lay centre in the far end, flanked by two bookshelves crammed with a part-timer funded tape collection that was no Victorville Archive but was nothing to scoff at either. A red shaggy rug divided the TV from the puffy leather sofa (WITH A PULLOUT BED!) cornered by the steps, thats back had a plaid blanket laid over like a 'murican antimacassar, and several more making fluffy heaps by the armrests.

The room had a certain smell and feeling to the air that only a visitor would notice, and with the blackout curtains closed, felt like a little pocket dimension of take-out and tapes. If not for the inviting carmine carpet, it might have felt like a mancave.

The wood of the four steps made anechoic creaks as they descended and turned the corner, taking them to the left of the sofa.

Wendy knelt down in front of the TV with a grunt.

"Can I do it?" Dipper asked, kneeling beside.

"Hm? Oh, sure."

She shuffled over and instead started perusing for stuff to watch.

Yellow for video slid into the socket with a thump then a click, then red for right channel, then white for left channel, and power.

'VIDEO' filled near a quarter of the screen as a commendation.

He was old enough to know rationally that it required about as much expertise as a fisher-price puzzle, but felt like a technician regardless. The subtle hum of the screen broke the chill of the silence.

"Alrighty..." she sighed blissfully, taking a cross-legged seat with the neck of the bottle in one hand.

"What are we thinkin, lil dude?"

He swayed in thought. A select few tapes on the TV stand caught his attention.

"What are these?"

"Those are..." grunting while scooting her butt across. "My favourites."

"The cream de le cream, as the french say." quietly, close to his shoulder.

"Is Pink Floyd french?" he asked, holding a creased sleeve depicting a screaming man he assumed was the eponymous 'Watl', whatever that was.

"No-ho-ho, he's, uh." laughing. "He's from easter island, I think." dryly, taking a sip.

It looked like kind of a horror movie.

"Is it any good?"

"Oh, it's amazing." she breathed, leaning back. "It's basically a musical of one the best albums, Ever." pinching for emphasis.

Dippers eyes grew wider with anticipation. He knew her well enough and had seen her bash enough snares that he knew it wasn't gonna be the Mary Poppins kind.

"But, uh." she scratched her neck. "It's not like a movie night kinda movie, if you know what I mean." splaying a hand towards him, then dropping it on her knee.

"Oh." He knew that, too. It either meant some weird artsy thing or 'horror' in the kind of way that wasn't fun.

"Well, what about this one?"

The boxes clacked as he put one back and took out another. He held up 'Full Metal Jacket', which wasn't much better.

"Mmmm..." she considered. "Still kind of a downer. You'd like the first half, but I think, uh, after that you wouldn't care."

"But it's like a war movie? Those are fun, right?"

She snickered. "Yeah. About Vietnam, you dork; it ain't Rambo. That shit was definitely not fun."

"Why, were you there?" wryly.

A gleam of mischief flashed in the corner of her mouth.

"Uhhh. Ya." like it was obvious.

"Wait, really?"

She squinted and started in a gruff, chiselled voice. "Oh yeah. Musta mowed down a hundred * in that platoon...", taking a deep and hard swig that she privately regretted once the aftertaste kicked.

"Shhhhudddup!" he laughed, as much at himself for even humouring the possibility for half a second.

She chuckled and set the drink down, but suddenly her eyes shot open and she looked flustered. "Oh, don't repeat that!" hurriedly, reaching out a hand and covering her mouth with the other. "Don't repeat that, that's not a word you can use!" rushing the words out and starting to chortle. "That-that's the beer talking. You'll get in BIG trouble if you say that."

"Yeah, I know."

Her eyebrows flicked in surprise for a moment as if asking 'how!?'.

"Well- I mean, I didn't know. But I don't repeat stuff you say, I mean."

"Ohh, right." she settled with a last giggle.

She swallowed. "Anyway." raising her hands with closed eyes. "I don't think that ones a good choice."

Dipper clicked his tongue in thought.

"Got any good spooky stuff?"

"Oh, dude, do I."

She stood up, and walked over to the shelves on the right. She looked back with a smirk and raised a finger saying 'observe' this shit that's about to blow your mind. The boy shuffled and crossed his arms with a smile awaiting the goods.

The shelf had a larger slot at the bottom that could fit various boxes, some of cardboard, and this one of plastic, labelled with scratched paper and pen marker declaring 'HORROR'.

He bit his lip envisioning the kind of messed up things that must be in there; the sorts of revolting scenes an erudite of the genre six years older than him wouldn't flinch at.

The box simply slid out when she grabbed it by the lip, but somehow it felt like she'd gone down a dark passage and blew dust off it with an oil lantern in one hand and a cursed, ornate key in the other.

He kept wondering. Serial killers, flaying, butthole stuff, genocide, torture, probably poop involved somewhere. All kinds of crazy shenanigans.

She knelt, and slapped the lid of the box with both hands, before sliding it off to reveal the contents. Which would have been a little more theatrical if the box wasn't translucent.

He gazed into the pit of tapes.

"Pick yer poison, dipperoni." steepling, with an ominous voice.

'Halloween', 'IT', 'The Return of the Living Dead', 'Hostel', she hissed and snatched at the CD.

"Exceptthatone!"

She really, really, really needed to sort the 'funny monster gibs 80's teenagers' movies from the 'people actually getting tortured' movies.

Wendy noticed Dipper look a little less sure about watching a horror movie.

"Uhh, just... just pick any. And I'll let you know if it's okay. Mmkay?"

He nodded and continued looking.

"I wouldn't let you watch anything that'd make you, like, upset. Don't worry."

"I know..." he whispered warmly.

She pinched his cheek.

Several cases toppled and clacked the plastic as he pulled one out. "This one looks... interesting."

'CRITTERS II: THE MAIN COURSE'

"Oh, that movie fuckin' rocks." she laughed. "It sucks, but it fuckin' rocks."

"Heh heh~ What's it about?"

"It's like dollar store Gremlins."

The corny ass Dreamworks face of the monster on the cover seemed to infect him more with a breathy laughter by the second.

"I-hi-hi, I think I'll pass on dollar store Gremlins."

"Hm hm, oo-kay."

Wendy had taken to flipping through some of the covers herself; it had been a while. She huffed a single laugh thinking about Christopher Lee in Howling II, hummed fondly thinking of the first time watching Little Shop of Horrors as a girl, and remembered snatching Maniac Cop 2 on discount as soon as she saw it in Blockbusters just so she could rip 'Children of the Night', which she just now noticed herself singing under her breath unbidden, then soon after 'Alone in the Night' by Leatherwolf and 'Darkest Side of the Night' by Metropolis and a few other 'the Night's.

"This summer... the ball is back" Dipper giggled, reading the tagline of Phantasm II. "What's this one?" holding it up.

"That's dollar store Evil Dead."

"Huh? Never heard of that."

"D-" she jolted.

"Dude."

For a second she thought it inconceivable that an eleven year old wouldn't know an almost two decade old movie.

"That's the one. That's what we're watching, Evil Dead II." immediately rooting for it then holding it up, rapping the side of the case with a bit lip like 'this is the shit right here'. The only reason it wasn't on her 'favourites' shelf was because it wasn't as rewatchable as films with more substance.

"Is it like, 'scary' scary?" with mild trepidation, his eyes following as she moved to the stand.

"It's, umm..." fixing her hair and looking up to think "not ''scary' scary' scary, but it might be scary for a kid. Don't worry, though, it's a blast. You'll love it." raising a finger to reassure while Dipper tried to figure out the nested 'scary's.

"Mmmmm... okay." he agreed enthusiastically.

She slapped it on top of the VCR. Dipper had no frame of reference, so trusted her taste and better judgement, with a simmering excitement to find out what it was.

"I'm gonna go get a drink." she sighed as she stood. "This tastes like dick and ass." half-muttered, wiggling the quarter empty bottle.

"Alright." he said while crashing on the sofa.

She made to the steps, then looked back. "Want anything?"

He'd downed a pepsi just an hour before when they came back from the town. "Not yet, thanks."

"Mkay." continuing up.

For a moment. she looked at him nestled by the armrest again. She moved over the railing and hummed lovingly. Dipper looked up to her leaning over.

"You get nice n' cosy." quietly, reaching down to pull a blanket over. "I'll go fetch yer teddies, too." booping his nose with a dimpled smile.

His backpack in the kitchen had a notebook, a pencil, a few cans, a copy of 'Passport to Magonia', and a selection of his plushies. If anyone else had (correctly) assumed he wanted them, he would have gone on masculinity red alert, but here he only returned the smile.

The light went off, with the hall door left open, leaving the well-loved beige bouclé that enveloped him lit softly blue by the static hearth. They'd lie down and just talk in the quiet for a good half-hour before the food came, or maybe see whatever shitty network sitcom was on at this hour while they waited. He sighed dreamily.

[teplavecernice]

i have grown up in a similar situation although different and much less extreme. my mum is in the lower half of middle class, but my dad is at least upper middle class (we do not know the full extend of his wealth). in their marriage they had separate finances and one joint account to cover household expenses to which they would contribute equally - at least in theory. in reality my father would continue to give the same amount of money even amidst inflation (this includes the 2008 crisis) and slowly slowly his contribution wouldn't even cover his own share of expenses and my mum had to reach into her own savings to keep the household running. in regards to day to day expenses (grocery shopping, clothes, toys, school supplies etc.) i had basically the same experience as if i was raised by a single mother.

all while my father made several times more money than her that he was just pocketing/spending on things for his own enjoyment. those things included family vacations several times a year (among his solo vacations that were about just as frequent and up to a month long, and during the time he spent on those vacations and often even after he would not contribute a dime bcs he had too many "expenses" - those times were the hardest financially). those family vacations were very costly but at the same he would look for any way to spend as little as possible on us (me, my mum and our pets). this included things such as buying rotten food bcs it was cheaper or not buying me (a small child) water when i was thirsty in over 30 degrees weather bcs it was "too expensive". all while he got to enjoy all the luxury he wanted. after those family vacations he would also refuse to contribute any money for running the household. and let me be clear - he was making insane amounts of money whether he was on vacation or not, he actually barely went to work ever (he would work 2-5 hour days how many or little days a week he wanted to and it would not affect his income).

he also pushed me to go to private school (which i would attend for 8 years) that he promised to pay for - he payed for the first 2 semesters, was late on payment on the 3rd one and when he didn't pay for the 4th one i was faced with the threat of being expelled. my mum ended up having to take from her own savings so i could stay in the school he wanted me to go to. that school tuition continued to be a major burden on our family for the next years and was one of the reasons i decided to drop out and complete my high school education at a different school in a long-distance program.

and i don't even wanna bring all of his emotional and mental abuse into this, this tirade is long enough as is. just know that everything i have described here and also everything else he would twist into either him being the victim or it somehow being the fault of either me or my mum.

so yeah, the description of being an exotic pet feels fitting. i was an exotic pet for him and my mum was the animal handler.

thankfully since my parents divorce there is the threat of legal investigation into his finances (which would for sure put him behind bars) looming over him if he doesn't pay alimony so he's been paying like clockwork. that money has allowed me to support myself in uni while also taking care of my mental and physical health. so i do recognize and see that my position is still very much privileged in certain aspects, but ever since i was little i lived in a world of dual class - half of my experiences, especially day-to-day life was pretty much lower middle class; the other half was very much upper middle class. and it is really confusing for a lot of people including me sometimes that i did grow up in a large suburban home and went on several vacations a year but at the same time sometimes we would have to cut down on our grocery expenses to get by and i would often have to wear clothes that i grew out of.

As a kid, when your parents are poor, you're poor. If they don't have money, that means none of you have money. But if someone's parents are rich, that doesn't necessarily mean the kid is. Sometimes rich peoples' kids aren't rich kids, they're just some rich freak's exotic pets that can talk but aren't allowed to.

[thisismyheadexploding]

It’s Christmas Morning, 2004.

I think I have finally decided what to do with this space.

I spend a lot of time trying to process thoughts while I am (also) trying to sleep. This night was one of those nights.

It’s probably an ADHD thing. In order for me to eventually work my way to sleep, I have to be thinking of something. For the longest time—-we’re talking from high school until very recently (more specifically, the early 2000s until early 2024)—-that was fake car ads/commercials/announcements.

I saw it described on TikTok the best. The internal narrator. I think I’ll merge that concept with the Stephen King trope Constant Reader and just refer to this as my “Constant Narrator.”

So, after turning off Christmas Vacation, I thought I would process some thoughts and feelings.

I’ve been feeling especially flat lately. Not depressed, but empty. Flat seems to work best because I am missing my “spark,” like soda missing its fizz. And I began to process and analyze feelings and thoughts and past relationships and that kind of thing.

As usual—or as I did when I was “narrating,” I would eventually drift off to sleep without ever meeting and end or a resolution.

But several times this Christmas morning-I guess I should mention that I went to bed just after 12:24AM-I woke back up. And I went back to processing. And I stepped through a number of friendships and relationships, partly because I think that they and the way that they have ended have brought me to this place that I am currently at. (Emotionally, although we could go deeper and more existential… but why do that in this post when there is room for so many more?)

So, onto my plan.

It’s just after 5AM. I awakened about an hour ago, for no particular reason. I resumed processing and trying to sleep… until I remembered this blog.

See, I am having a hard time committing to therapy. I know I need to talk to someone about what I am feeling (or really, what I am lacking feeling, which is just about any kind of emotion or passion at all.)

But I am very… hesitant. Simply based on the idea that I need to connect with my therapist before I can work through any of this.

And like a true ADHDer, like anything that seems insurmountable, we better just put it off. 🤣

But again, I remember the blog. And I’m already thinking of the characters in my life… and maybe a good jumping off point is to structure this blog kind of like a Wiki.

I’m going to introduce the players in my life, and tag the posts… hopefully in such a way that if anyone ever stumbles across this, they can cross reference all this shit if they want to.

Maybe by the time I am finally senile I can look back at this as a memoir, and the tags will help me keep it all straight myself.

But mostly, I want to get some of this stuff out of my head:

I want to re-live it, step through it, reframe it, and reprocess it.

For some reason I think that, since we as people and as personalities are all little bits of the lived experiences we’ve lived and experienced, somewhere in here might be the key to finding where I lost my happiness and joy-de-viver (yes that’s spelled wrong on purpose, let’s blame the Alan Cox show) and just kind of… let it all out.

It was in the Spider-Man movie—the real one, with Sally Field as Aunt Mae, where she said of donating his things after losing Uncle Ben, “The heavier this box gets, the lighter I am” or some such drivel. But it always stuck with me.

I’m not a Spider-Man fan, by the way. That just stuck with me.

So anyway — I’m gonna do my next post as a placeholder for the characters. There’ll be an intro for them… and then a deeper back story. The back story will probably start with the intro as… an intro; and then the rest of the post will be the very, very verbose back story.

From time to time, there may be other posts—timelines, events, other things I remember—about those characters that weren’t in the main back story, but that all doesn’t really matter.

This isn’t a manuscript. I am just trying to heal my mind.

[euro-industry-org]

How can the labor market in Europe and the United States be changed?

It took sixteen years after the great financial crisis for the U.S. unemployment rate to return to its pre-war low of 3.5%. Even at that rate, however, millions of people were still unable to find decent paying jobs. Losing a job is not just a personal tragedy; it affects different groups of people in different ways. We are told that economic growth promotes prosperity for all, but for several decades now, a slow recovery without meaningful increases in employment has become commonplace. Moreover, work is increasingly extremely low paid.

When one considers who benefits from economic growth, the answer is alarming. After World War II, when the economy recovered after each recession, the vast majority of income went to the poorest 90% of families. Since the 1980s, however, this has changed, with the richest 10% settling for the lion's share of profits during the last four periods of growth. After the Great Recession, this trend was exacerbated, with real incomes for the poorest 90% of families continuing to decline during the first three years of recovery.

The aftermath of the Great Recession

Today, millions of people are still struggling to find any kind of gainful employment, and many of those who are working are earning wages barely above the poverty line. The median real income of the poorest 90% of Americans in 2017 was $34,580, down 2.2% from twenty years ago. Behind the dry numbers of unemployment and inequality are millions of stories of people facing job loss and unfair wages.

Maybe you or someone close to you has experienced this first hand. Perhaps you lost your job during the Great Recession or you graduated from high school but because of the cost of tuition decided to delay enrollment to save up. Maybe your children are grown and have left home and you want to get back into the job market after a long hiatus but don't know where to start. Maybe you've sent out hundreds of resumes, but even in a growing economy, you can't find a stable, well-paying job.

The reasons may vary: age, gender, skin color, or criminal record. Or maybe you are a person with a disability who is ready to work, but there are no suitable jobs available or offer humiliatingly low pay. For example, current law allows employers to pay such people as little as $1 an hour.

Today's economy continues to create inequality, leaving many on the margins - those who are looking for a chance to change their lives but face barriers that seem impossible to overcome.

Labor exchanges welcome you with open arms as you take additional courses, improve your resume, and practice interviewing. You give your best, but success remains somewhere over the horizon. Or perhaps you do manage to find a job, but it's again a low-paying position with no perks. You can barely manage your day-to-day expenses, and after much searching and stress, you have to decide what's more important: making it home in time for dinner or helping your kids with their homework. You're ready to work your hardest, but it seems that the work itself isn't ready to reciprocate.

Now imagine that you are lucky. Take your mind back to 2009: lines at the job boards, desperate unemployed people, and ads telling you not to even try to send in your resume. But maybe you're not the kind of person who fought for every penny. You have a job, albeit not an ideal one. The pay is modest, but the company promises a raise, you can support your family and finally afford a two-week vacation. True, there is one “but” - your boss is a real despot, but you tolerate, because there are few options.

The impact of technology and globalization

Such stories are not uncommon. In the US, EU countries and around the world, hundreds of millions of people are facing the loss of their jobs and livelihoods. This is not just a consequence of crises or “God's Providence” - it has become commonplace. The modern economy is accelerating this process: technological change and outsourcing are causing jobs to disappear permanently.

Although new jobs are created, there are never enough to meet demand, even in times of economic recovery. Many end up in precarious, low-paying positions. For example, in 2018, 6.9 million workers in the U.S. earned less than a living wage. For millions of Americans and Europeans, one job is simply not enough to move beyond survival.

What might a fairer system look like?

What if we revised our approach to economic goals and made sure that every job seeker had access to a decent job paying at least a living wage? How would this impact on people's lives, local communities and the wider economy?

Imagine that employment services offer not only the usual resources, but also create a database of state and municipal job openings where the minimum wage is, for example, $15 an hour. The job also comes with access to health care and quality childcare. You can choose to work full-time or part-time, and you can take advantage of additional services for personal and professional growth: training, certification, secondary education assistance, transportation benefits, counseling, and family-friendly programs.

We are talking about creating jobs at the local level - in self-governments or non-profit organizations - but the funding for such positions comes from the federal budget. This would reduce the time it takes to find a job while providing people with stability and support.

Job security offices not only help people find suitable jobs, but also offer higher paying job options in the private or public sector. As the economy grows, new job openings with opportunities for career advancement, flexible schedules, or telecommuting become available. As you learn new skills and experience, you choose a few interesting offers, leave your guaranteed position, and move on to more promising opportunities.

Conclusion

Guaranteed employment is not just a tool to fight unemployment, but a chance for society to rethink its priorities and create a fairer economy. This approach can not only improve the quality of life for millions of people, but also strengthen the resilience of local communities by reducing social inequalities and increasing economic stability.

When everyone is given the opportunity to work under decent conditions, with adequate pay and support, it lays the foundation for long-term prosperity. Ultimately, investing in secure jobs is an investment in a future where success is measured not only by economic performance, but also by the quality of life of each individual.

[alyosiuscreightonward]

I saw this and thought, “Yo. What the absolute fuck are you talking about??!!”

If your heart is breaking just because of this meme, then maybe you should go ahead and swallow a fucking bandaid.

Please let me enlighten you about how shit happens. Some people are destined and some are not.

As an example, I have this coffee mug that is supposed to remind me that as a Scorpion, I’m Brave, Focused and Balanced. I call bullshit and to further elucidate on the subject, you have no fucking clue.

Yes, I’m brave enough to admit that I’ve got mental health issues and I’m on a first name basis with ALL of my neuroses. I’m focused enough to get through it somehow. I’m also balanced enough to have my manic phases and not to let the world know that I’m having suicidal ideations. Oh, yeah. That just touches you and you feel like some kind of way about it.

It’s not because of my childhood traumas, nope. That shit I can deal with and have. It’s more of my adult life and the traumas I’ve experienced.

During my years going to school, I knew I was not the one. I had crushes on several people but I knew that if I bought them a Rolex, they wouldn’t give me the time of day. Same thing happened in high school, but 40+ years later, I still have my heart broken for one guy. As a Taurus, he feels that me having feelings for him is inconceivable and he screams, “I’m not GAY!!” Dude. I never wanted sex. Never. To this day, he still believes that two men just holding each other in an embrace is an abomination.

Then along came my first boyfriend, a Leo. He did at one point did love me but it was always on his terms and if I didn’t adhere to that then he’d just dump all over me. My 2nd boyfriend, I’m not sure what sign of the zodiac he was but he was so good to me and if I hadn’t moved, he’d be in my life. We went our separate ways. Then after him, years later I found myself ensconced in the arms of a Gemini who had literally chased after me. I let a year or so go by before I had a date with him.

This specific Gemini led me to believe that I was the only one. It was so much for me to actually move to FLA to be with him. It was good for a while. In the throes of passion, he slapped me on the ass. I spun around and almost clocked him. I said no to that. I said that I had been beaten by my parents and when they did it they were either drunk or clearly on their way to being sloshed. They’d be black out drunk and they wouldn’t remember that they had beaten me for whatever imaginary reason.

My 3rd boyfriend and I were going well in our relationship but I learned that he had personal hygiene issues. He’d wear the same clothes for I don’t know how long and he wouldn’t even brush his teeth. It then turned into a nightmare. He was away for about a month before he dumped me.

The back story is that he wanted me to be both Ozzie and Harriet. I was to go to work and bring home the bacon and the instant I got home, I was to put on my Harriet bonnet and start cooking dinner because he was hungry. I had barely enough time to take off my suit and tie before he started to say shit. I had to apologize to him because being on SSDI and home doing absolutely nothing, I needed to genuflect for being allowed to be in that space with him. Anyway, he was gone and on vacation. I was struggling to pay all the bills for the household. I apparently didn’t pay the cable bill for whatever reason. So now he had been home for a week or so by now and then in the middle of The Sopranos season finale, the cable got shut off. I clearly remember him calling the cable company and paying the bill. I thought it was just a bump in the road and we’d move on from that now. WRONG!!!

Two days later he came to me and told me that we were done. He granted me permission to stay in the house and save money so I could get the fuck out of his life and never to return. I learned later that I was the cause for all of his pain and suffering. Excuse me?!?! I could not have plotted against him to the point where he had to get a pacemaker for his atrial fibrillation. I didn’t know that I had that kind of power over him.

This was back in 2002. I moved back home to be closer to my mother who had just retired. When she passed, I moved again to The ATX.

A few other things happened during that time period and my best friend had then moved to The ATX to be with me. After 38 years of being friends, we got married and then more shit happened. He too had passed but we had 43 years together in the end.

Today it’s 2024 and I’ve been alone since. My husband and I truly loved each other but we both agreed not to consummate our relationship. He was too much and I am a prude. He’d open up the store and give the goods away. Me, I need more time before I would wear my ankles for earrings.

So between 2002 and now, I’ve had a dalliance but I’ve been alone. I’ve told people that if their former partner is in need of help or a hug, they could let me know. I was greeted with, “They don’t have any desire…” I had to reiterate that if that person was in need, I’d be more than happy but I have no desire or need for that. Uh…apparently they hadn’t heard lyrics…”I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.” Boundaries motherfucker.

Y’all need to get a grip and stop trying to make shit happen. If was destined to become reality, then let it happen organically and don’t force it. Recently I told someone that I had feelings and that after 20 years of hiding them from the world, I could feel them. As usual it ends in disaster and disappointment and that’s all on me. So please don’t. I’m going to die alone and I’m okay with that.