#there are several reasons for this (went on a vacation there in high school and liked it; considered grad school there;

[pentanguine]

Does anyone else ever get the sudden yen to move to Wisconsin?

[forget-you-morelike-fuck-you]

That's What Friends Are For- E.M.

I've been really thirsty for Virgin!Bestfriend!Reader x Eddie so I poured myself this taaaallll drink of water. Hope you love it xx

You've never had an orgasm, and Eddie would be happy to help remedy that.

Part 2

Masterlist

TW- 18+ MINORS DNI!! Cursing, mentions of smoking, heavy petting, pet names (angel, sweetheart), a lil crying (but in a good way), fingering (lmk if I missed any)

Pairings- Virgin!Bestfriend!Reader x Eddie

Word Count- 4,802

(Gifs not mine, credit to owner!)

It wasn’t something that you’d normally ask, but with the haze of weed clouding your senses and the exaggerated moans of the poor actress being exploited for the dumb action movie you and Eddie were watching out of sheer boredom, you couldn’t help yourself. You turn to Eddie, the cogs in your head turning in overtime as the words reach your mouth before you can even put too much stock in them, “What does an orgasm even feel like?” Your eyes narrow as you imagine it, the sounds of the woman on screen echoing in your mind. There’s no way that real people sound like that, no, this is just some stupid movie that you and Eddie had never even heard of before digging it out of the pile of tapes beneath the TV. “I mean, I guess it’s gotta feel good, but does it feel that good?”  

While you ponder the probability of the sounds onscreen being at all accurate for real-world scenarios, Eddie’s face pales, the light high he’d been enjoying completely knocked out of his body at your words. Despite being best friends for the past several years, you never really talked about your sex lives with each other. For you, it was because it didn’t exist. For Eddie, it was because the only person he really wanted anymore was you. Every other person in town combined couldn’t interest him half as much as you, and he had definitely looked. Pining after your best friend for years wasn’t really something Eddie was interested in doing, not that it helped. Of course, the only reason you hadn’t made a move—aside from the fact that you were thoroughly terrified at the thought of being rejected—was because you thought that Eddie was something of a ladies’ man. You knew he was much more experienced than you, not that that was a difficult feat, but you knew that he at least went on dates. And you never wanted your attraction to him get in the way of your friendship anyway. If he liked you, he would’ve made a move sooner, right?  

Wrong. 

Eddie had fallen head over heels for you about a year after you had met, both of you juniors in high school. You went away with your family on vacation for a couple weeks that summer and came back... different. You were more confident, and even though it had only been a short separation, you looked different, more womanly than gangly teenager. He liked you before, but some switch inside his chest flicked, like the lights were finally turning on in some long-forgotten roller coaster ride. He’s had it bad for you ever since, suffering in silence because he knows how shy you used to be, and still are to some extent. He would never, ever want to do or say anything to make you uncomfortable, including putting his feelings on the line in exchange for your amazing friendship.  

Still, the news that you didn’t know what an orgasm felt like was surprising. He knew you were private about your dating life, and he always respected that. But you had had boyfriends before. And you were both in your early 20s now. Surely you had been with one of them. Or even figured it out on your own... 

“What?” is the brilliant response that flies from Eddie’s lips as his brain short circuits. You look back at his face, having wandered away, lost in thought. Eddie half expects you to backtrack, but still, to his surprise, you double down. 

“What does an orgasm feel like?” He can tell your Mary Jane consumption must be fueling this line of questioning, but if you’re really curious... 

“Um, well...” Eddie flounders, trying to find the words to say. You keep your focus on him, your thoughts trailing only slightly as you wait for him to respond. “It... It does feel really good. I don’t know exactly what it feels like for women, but for guys, at least, for me, it’s like my whole body kind of explodes, but in, like, the best way,”  

You mull this over for a moment, your eyes darting between Eddie’s face and the screen, which has since moved past the over-exaggerated sex scene back into shootouts between the good guy and the bad ones. “Okay, well, have any of the girls you’ve been with ever sounded like that?” You were genuinely curious, trying to imagine what could feel that good and coming up blank. 

Eddie chuckles a bit, eyes flicking up in a memory, “Well, one, but I’m pretty sure she was faking. Some women think they have to sound like that because that’s what the movies show them they’re supposed to sound like. But really, there are all different kinds of... sounds... that people make when they’re feeling that good,” he explains, his surprise relaxing now into amusement just slightly. 

“Oh,” You look back at the screen, apparently done with your questions. Eddie feels his heartbeat fading back into its normal rhythm after the near heart-attack you had inflicted upon him, and things go quiet for a minute before you turn your head back toward him, mouth poised open to speak. “Do you think—Never mind,” You quickly shove the thought back down your throat, remembering that Eddie’s not supposed to know you’ve been in love with him forever.  

The possibilities of what you were about to ask him makes his heart race again, until he’s burning to know. “What is it?” He asks, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. 

Your lips press together and shake your head as a heat spreads over your face, giving you a moment of clarity amid the warmth of the high. “No, it’s okay, it was a dumb question,” You wave your hand in dismissal, and pray that Eddie doesn’t press it further in fear of your mouth working faster than your logic. Of course, you have no such luck. 

“There are no dumb questions. If you want to know something, all you have to do is ask. Would I ever judge you for anything? And really think about that, because I’ve seen you pick a pickle up off the floor and eat it,” He laughs, trying to diffuse the tension. It helps a little, and with his reassurance and that fleeting moment of clarity far away, you open your mouth again, hesitating as you find the right words. 

“Do you think... that you could maybe... show me?”  

Eddie’s eyes bulge from his skull, and he’s afraid that his heart has totally stopped for a minute. But after an agonizing moment, a thick thump of his heart breathes life back into him, and he can only pray that you can’t hear it as it loudly thump, thump, thumps in his chest.  

“Show you..?” It’s a begging question. He’s not exactly sure which part you want to learn, and he wants to make sure he doesn’t assume anything. 

You turn away again, the mortification laying over you in a thick blanket. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have... You can forget it,” 

Eddie doesn’t want to mess this up, and the visions of you making such pretty little sounds for him, or better yet, unraveling under his touch, automatically send all of the spare blood in his body downward, so quickly that he almost becomes dizzy. He has to make an effort to shift his body to hide his growing erection as he tries to reassure you. “No, no! Don’t worry, I’m listening. It’s okay, I swear! What do you want me to show you? I... I can do my best,” His voice is sincere, sincere enough to make you look sheepishly back at him, your lashes low as you try not to look in his eyes. 

You take a deep breath, your head buzzing with adrenaline as you form the words. “Would you show me how to have an orgasm?”  

Eddie swallows hard, his Adam’s Apple bobbing in his throat. He’s trying so hard to make this seem as chill as possible, for both of your sakes. If he gets too eager too quickly, there’s no way he wouldn’t just bust in his pajama pants, and he might scare you. His mouth is dry as he nods quickly, “Um, yeah. I- I can definitely try,” He watches as your face grows redder by the second, but you give a small smile, one that makes Eddie lightheaded again as another shockwave of want shoots through his half-hard cock. “Do you want to go to my room?” He asks softly, gauging the look on your face as you still avoid his eyes.  

“Yeah,” You murmur, but your legs won’t move. There’s a want in you, despite not knowing how to indulge it, and as Eddie gets up from the couch, offering a hand to you, you take it and squeeze, finally looking up at him. Eddie feels like he might faint in that moment, your hazy eyes doe-like and innocent, not making it any easier for him to keep calm. He pulls you up to your feet and you follow him, your hand in his, to his room.  

You shut the door behind you, flicking the lock on the knob despite being the only ones home, and turn to face Eddie, who stands just behind you, still not believing what might happen. “S-so, um...” He begins, feet shuffling beneath him. “For girls, it’s a lot harder to... finish. It takes a lot of warming up first,” Your brow furrows. 

“Warming up?” A blush breaks out over Eddie’s cheeks, and he reaches out to let his fingers trace up your arm, ghosting over your shoulder and up your neck. A breath hitches in your throat as his palm cups your face, and suddenly, you think you might know what he means. Nevertheless, he explains. 

“It’s a lot easier when you’re feeling good from other things first. Like touching, kissing... things like that. It can be painful if you don’t do it right,” Your lashes flutter as he leans in slightly, and you can feel his warm breath fan over your face. 

“Oh,” Eddie lets out a breath of a laugh at your breathless response, and already you feel yourself turning to putty in his hands.  

“I want you to tell me if you don’t like something, okay? Don’t try to spare my feelings. If you want me to stop doing something, or you want me to do something specific, you tell me. Okay?” The demanding edge in his whispers snaps you back to reality, and you feel a warmth building deep within you. It’s nothing like you’ve ever felt before. Sure, shadows of this have been felt watching risqué movies with sex scenes or kissing your prior boyfriends awkwardly in the backs of their cars, but that pales in comparison. This is a new, deep burn in the very depths of your body. 

“Mhmm,” You try to lean closer to him, to feel more, but his other hand goes to your waist, holding you in place. Your eyes meet his, and they’re unexpectedly hard, his brown eyes serious as he looks at you. 

“I need you to say it. I need to know you can say it,” Your breath stutters again at his words, but still, you find your voice. 

“I- I don’t like that,” You whisper, and it’s all you can do. Eddie nods in approval, but his eyes want you to continue, “I want you... I want you to kiss me,” You can hear the hammer of your heart in your ears, your blood singing as the anticipation grows. Eddie’s eyes return to their normal softness, gazing into yours like he’s seeing the sun set over the ocean for the first time.  

“Are you sure?” Eddie whispers as he inches toward you, his face leaning down ever closer. This might be the closest you’ve ever been to him, and the thought sends a delicious shiver up your spine. His nose just brushes yours, and your eyes flutter shut. 

“I want you to kiss me, Eddie,” It’s barely a breath, but he hears you, and gently, gently, his lips meet yours, barely a brush of skin against skin. You hear him suck in a deep breath before letting his lips move against yours a little more firmly, the hand on your waist snaking around your back to pull you closer to him. You let your hands find the back of his hair, which is up in a cute, messy bun, and your fingers wind themselves around a few loose, curly tendrils there. Then, Eddie’s lips move across your cheek, down toward your jaw, and the first sound comes loose from your lips. 

It’s a tiny noise, but it might as well have been Eddie’s favorite song, the way he revels in it. He can feel the pounding of your heart in your chest as you press yourself against him, not really knowing what to do other than let Eddie work his way down your neck with his lips. “E-Eddie...” You whimper, hands gently grasping at the fabric at the back of his worn t-shirt.  

Eddie stops then, immediately, waiting for your instruction. He had gone too far, hadn’t he? He had done something to make you uncomfortable and now you’d never ever talk to him again... “Can we lay down?” You ask, breathy and quiet in his ear. He presses a firm kiss to the top of your shoulder in relief, elated that you were enjoying what was happening before pulling away. 

“Yeah, let’s get you comfy,” He smiles one of those easy, lopsided smiles that takes your breath away, and you feel the butterflies that usually reside in your stomach move downward to your core. You instinctively clench your thighs together to try to squash the foreign feeling, but as Eddie moves to lay down, you see the bulge in his loose pants, and it sends a new swarm flooding your body. With a deep breath, you join Eddie and lay next to him, his face only inches from yours. His hand reaches toward your face, gently brushing a few stray hairs behind your ear. “Do you want to just keep kissing, or are you ready to try something else?” He asks. You think it over, biting the inside of your lip as you bite back the embarrassment of being so inexperienced next to him.  

“Can we try something new and still do some kissing?” You smile sheepishly, not being able to hold his gaze as your face heats. He lets out a small laugh, not at you, but because you’re so nervous. 

“Yeah, we can do that. Is it okay if I touch you? I can just try a few things and you can figure out what you like,” He suggests, his eyes roaming over you. You’re not wearing a bra, because you never did when you and Eddie were just lounging around watching movies and smoking, something Eddie had to get used to quick when your body started really developing. Once or twice when he was a few years younger, he had to fake an upset stomach just to relieve his aching cock in the bathroom upon seeing your pert nipples through the fabric of one of his old t-shirts. 

“Yeah, I think I’d like that,” With your permission, Eddie’s fingers gently reach the hem of your shirt, slipping under and running his calloused fingertips over the smooth skin of your side. You let out a gasp, your eyes screwing shut, and he notices the way your hips move of their own accord, trying to scratch an itch you’ve never felt before. He has to bite back a moan of his own just at the sight of you, so beautiful, so willing beneath his capable hands. He lets out a shaky breath as his hand moves up your side, leaning in to kiss you like he said he would, like he was aching to do again, and you accept his lips greedily, your hands pressing into the sides of his face as he glides across your skin, not light enough to tickle, but enough to send tingles over your skin, goosebumps forming in the wake of his caress. 

When his hand comes to cup your breast, not daring to flick over the sensitive nub just yet, you let out your second noise as he gives a little squeeze there. This one is muffled by his lips, pressed firmly to yours, and the vibration of it shoots straight down to his cock, which twitches willfully in his pants, wanting you more and more every second that passes. 

With a light touch, Eddie lets his thumb just brush your nipple, and it sends an electric shock through you, leading to your third noise, a much sharper sound that almost sounds painful. But when your lips press into his even harder, Eddie is only spurred on and he does it again, then lets his full hand grope over the full mound, rubbing across your breast with his palm. Eddie lets his tongue trace over your bottom lip then, and you open your mouth to him, not really knowing how to kiss with tongue, but unwilling to stop to make a comment about it as your body ignites to a new level of fire and electricity.  

Your legs are continuously rubbing together now, the friction glorious but not enough, and you want to feel more. You’re panting in between the long stretches of kissing, and while you don’t want to stop, you also need to tell Eddie what you want. So, instead of rushing back to his kiss, you press your thumb gently to his bottom lip, pupils blown with need. “Can you take my shorts off?” You ask, your confidence building. Eddie nods all too eagerly, and he gets up onto his knees to shift town toward your bottom half. You roll onto your back and lift your butt to make it a bit easier for him, his hands finding purchase at your hips, fingers dipping just below the waistband when he stops. 

“Do you want me to take your underwear off too?” He asks, wanting to be sure. You bite your lip again as the embarrassment floods back. 

“I’m not wearing any...” You admit, giving a small smile. His hands grip at your hips a bit harder then, and his sharp breath only helps your growing need. This is the most beautiful you’ve ever seen him, towering over you like this. You can see the long outline of his length through his pants now, and you let your mind wonder what could happen if this goes even further than you originally intended. It’s enough to make your hips roll in Eddie’s hands as he starts pulling down your sleep shorts. You close your eyes, trying to keep your embarrassment from making you chicken out when you’re finally about to get what you’ve always wanted. 

“Holy shit,” Eddie breathes, and your eyes shoot open as you stare at him, mortification building in your chest. 

“What? Is it bad? Do I look weird?” You ask in a flurry. Your hands go to cover your face, thighs clenching together to spare yourself when Eddie pries your legs apart again. 

“What? God no! You look... You look fucking amazing,” There’s a wonder in his voice, and you peek through your fingers to find him staring down at you, the look on his face amorous, hungry almost, like you’re his favorite meal in the world. It takes you aback, but nevertheless, there’s a twitch in your hips again, seeking a friction that you can no longer achieve for the time being. Eddie gently lowers himself on top of you, and you let out a moan when you feel the fabric of his pants brushing over your bare pussy. You let your hands fall as you try to push yourself into him, but there’s a hand holding onto your hip now to keep you down. “Oh my god, please, can you try not to do that right now? I am already in serious danger here, angel. If I feel even a little bit of you against my dick I’m fucking done for,” Eddie breathes a laugh to cover the moan in his voice, his face hovering over yours. 

“B-but I want—” Eddie cuts you off with a deep kiss, his hand squeezing into your hip as you desperately try to feel him against you again. 

“Not tonight, sweetheart. I want this one to be about you, okay? If you still want to in the morning, we can circle back,” Eddie offers, and you give a small nod. “Okay, then. I’m gonna touch you now, okay? I’ll go nice and slow. If you want me to change what I’m doing, just tell me,” You nod again and the hand gripping your hip travels down and his lips meet the hollow of your neck, giving just a tiny nip at the skin that sends your hips up again in need. Eddie tries to hold it in, but he can’t help but moan softly against your skin as he continues his journey.  

His fingers ghost just over the sensitive bud of nerves then, and the shock that goes through your body is even more intense than before when he was playing with your nipple. Your arms fling around his back and you grip the fabric of his t-shirt like a lifeline. “I’m gonna take good care of you,” Eddie whispers as he travels up your neck, “I’m gonna make you feel so good,”  

The promise is punctuated by a soft circle around your clit, and your whimper is so pathetic it startles you as it tumbles from your lips. You can feel how wet you are now; how hot your core is against his fingertips. It’s so blissful, so wanton that you feel your walls clenching around nothing, another new feeling that sends your head reeling. Eddie continues his gentle pattern around your bud, sucking sweet bruises into the skin below your ear between whispers of sweet nothing that spur you forward on your quest into the unknown world of this beautiful feeling. 

“E-Eddie,” You plead, head thrown back in pleasure. Your fingers pull his shirt so that your hands connect with his skin, “Can you go—Can you go a little f-faster, please?” Eddie nods into the crook of your neck as he complies, fingers moving just a bit faster, a bit firmer against you, and your chest starts heaving in pants again, moans spilling from your mouth more freely now. You grind into his hand pathetically as the intense pleasure grows. You feel like you could cry at the feeling, so blissful and beautiful and everything you’ve ever dreamed of as Eddie works you further and further, his lips only ever leaving your skin to whisper sweet nothings to you. 

“You’re doing so good... I can’t believe I get to do this for you... Been wanting you like this for so long...” Eddie nips and sucks and licks across your neck, up your face, across your lips, and you’re just so consumed by him that you feel hot little pinpricks in the corners of your eyes, your throat going thick as the tears begin. 

When Eddie catches sight of the first one, he slows his work on your core, afraid that you had changed your mind. “Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” You feel a pang of panic then, not really knowing why but knowing that you were desperate to reach the edge you were approaching. You pull at his shirt, not being able to verbalize your excruciating need for a second. 

“No, no!” You plead, “Don’t stop, please... I just... Please don’t stop...” You don’t know why you’re crying. Maybe because it feels so good, maybe because the emotions are just so new that your body is startled by them. Either way, Eddie is reluctant but believes you, because he trusts you and you trust him so completely that you don’t think that there’s any way that either of you would or even could hurt each other. 

Eddie picks up the pace again, his lips focusing on yours now to help keep you from crying. Your fingernails scratch up his back as you whine and writhe beneath him, coming closer and closer to something. There’s a tenseness in your stomach now, and it’s building. There must be a precipice close, a pinnacle to all of this pleasure and need Eddie has been giving you. Your panting breaths become more ragged, and Eddie gets the feeling that you’re close. 

“That’s it, angel. You gonna cum for me?” He practically moans against your mouth, and it’s another agonizing minute of this pressure inside you building before you feel it.  

Your hands clench Eddie’s shirt as you unravel. Your tears are flowing freely down your face, mouth open in a loud moan that reverberates on the walls of Eddie’s small room. Eddie keeps drawing circles over your clit as you ride through the waves of your first ever orgasm, kissing down to the top of your chest and back up to add to the pleasure. Finally, you feel it start to subside, the wide waves lessening into ripples as your breath starts to even out again. Eddie slows down again, and finally stops after a few more seconds, wanting to draw out your bliss as much as he can. He kisses you deeply, the hand on your pussy traveling up to grip your side, sliding up past the hem of your shirt as he holds you firm. You can feel the slick on his fingers cooling down on your skin, and it sends a new wave of shivers through your body.  

You kiss each other for a long time, not wanting to go back to reality where you’re just friends, but finally you have to pull away for air. You look at each other, both of you quiet. There’s a new electricity in the air, charged with the anticipation of what you’ll say to each other now that everything has changed.  

“How was that?” Eddie settles on, his brow set in a concerning furrow. He wants to make sure that you had the best experience he could’ve offered you, because that’s what you deserve. You deserve to feel this good all the time. 

Your soft eyes bore into his and you nod slowly, trying to etch every detail of this night into your memory forever. “It was amazing. You are...” Your hand comes to hold his face, and he leans into your touch in such a way that your heart melts for him even more. “You’re so amazing, Eddie, thank you.” You give a little laugh then, at how silly it sounds for you to thank your friend for giving you an orgasm. Eddie laughs a little too, and he stretches his lips to kiss the edge of your palm. 

“Anything for my favorite girl,” He whispers, smiling that easy smile that you love so much. Pride sparkles in your chest at his words. God, you love him so much... 

“So...” You feel a blush creeping on your face again, “You’ve been wanting me... like this?” You think back to the words he whispered against your neck that made your insides turn to mush. 

Eddie flicks his eyes away from you, embarrassed. “You caught that, huh?” 

“Was I not supposed to?” You giggle, your smile sending shockwaves through Eddie’s body. 

“Well, I just didn’t think you would. You seemed to be pretty distracted if I recall,” He jabs playfully, his gaze returning to you. His eyes soften at his next thought, “What do you think about that?” 

This is it, this is where everything changes. It’ll never be the same after this. “I...” You begin, building your courage. “I’ve been wanting that, too.”  

Eddie’s face moves through confusion, surprise, and then settles on joy, his smile widening to reach his sparking brown eyes. “Yeah? You’ve been wanting that too?” Your smile matches his as you nod, letting out a breath of a laugh with the relief settling in your chest. 

Suddenly, Eddie squeezes you in a bone crushing hug, peppering kisses over your face as you giggle. His lips settle on yours again, and it’s like taking a drink of cool water after wandering in the desert. You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to this, but by God, you’d be happy to. 

You keep kissing and cuddling for a long time, talking like you usually do, how best friends do, but now it’s just better. Best friends, but there’s no more hesitancy, no more wishing for more, because now, you have everything you could ever want. 

[skrrts]

here in the rain, will you smile again? (oneshot)

✧ gn!reader x jeong yunho ✧ former high school sweethearts ✧ genre: non idol, romance, sad, still in love, comfort ✧ word count: 5,4k ✧ warnings: mention of heartbreak, insecurities, painful breakup in the past, crying

Jeong Yunho was more than your high school sweetheart; he was the love of your life, although you only understood it later, regretting how the two of you let your parents force you to break up to focus on your academic future. You never believed in fate, but that day, when you crossed the street in the pouring rain and saw him: soaked, the flowers of a bouquet falling on the street as he was waiting for somebody who would not come. Maybe it always had meant to be that way because, in the end, you always knew the two of you belonged together.

a/n: so far, my one-shots for him have been very sweet and soft, so i wanted to write something different. mostly a short story of high school sweethearts reuniting because they never really stopped loving each other. (it does have a happy ending)

You looked up to the sky, the heavy grey clouds swallowed even the smallest hint of sunshine. Autumn had come quietly just like every year and before you knew it, Summer was gone, the leaves started to change their color like a sad love song that everyone knew but nobody really wanted to listen to. You were glad now that you had a diligent friend such as Seonghwa who sent you a text not to forget your umbrella this morning because he knew you would have otherwise.

The workday had been short, really. When you arrived at the office in the morning, the internet already had been off, and there really only could be so much done when your programs mainly required to be connected to the digital online network. It had been some time since you last had a free afternoon in the middle of the week but it was a good thing. Every vacation, you just pressured yourself to shove as much as possible in the one or two weeks, to feel like it was worth it but it being so unexpected, maybe it would be fun just to go with whatever came to mind.

While the rain wasn’t the most inviting condition, you were used to it. In the small town you came from, the rain was as much a local as the several hundred people living there. As memories dwelled up, you shoved them aside and stared down at your smartphone instead, thumb brushing over to scroll through a few recommendations. It was sweet, that you found this little forum where people from different parts of the city recommended their favorites a few weeks ago and now finally had an excuse to try it. You hated crowded places and it was welcoming to go somewhere you could count on to be nice.

“This looks cute,” your gaze stopped on a small café which wasn’t too far from here. If you cheated and took the crossing at the cinema, you would be there in no time. The idea of a cup of big green tea was nice right now, maybe together with a slice of cake. You worked extra hard lately, and your latest project was a big success. 

You sighed as you finally stepped ahead and through the rain, trying to dodge little puddles of rainwater. From a career perspective, everything worked out for you. Thanks to some networking during college, you snatched a job with plenty of potential right after graduation, and from there, you steadily worked yourself up, you even only had two sick days in three years at this company. 

Your private life, on the other hand, it was hard to really say it existed and that wasn’t because you lacked free time, actually, if anything your work schedule was steady, your employer one to ensure that they could market themself with an accurate work-life balance. You had friends, went to the gym twice a week and a cutea pet bunny waited for you at home because your landlord wasn’t accepting bigger pets. 

Love just never worked out for you but there was no reason to waste time searching for advice online, going to speed dating, or having your friends set you up with somebody. The reason was always so obvious to you.

You already found the love of your life once, during those cursed high school years you often still yearned back for, not because life had been easier but because he still was in it. Nobody ever could live up to him because he had been the right one for you and you always believed it had been the same for him. 

It wasn’t that you tried but somehow…

You shook your head, trying not to let your throat go dry again because your body always still reacted to it, even after seven years, it was as it could remember the feeling from that day, when you called for his name and his brother finally pulled him away because both of your parents agreed you were a distraction to each other because you wanted to go to the same college, spending every free minute side by side, leading to his parents to forcefully make him change high school for his final year.

“Tch,” you rubbed over your eyes, stopping as stupid tears dwelled on it. Why was it that love like that would not go away? Yes, this too you would not mind, you often silently prayed to your heart to release you but it would not, clinging stupidly to a hope that did not exist.

Fate did not exist.

Somebody stumbled into you, only rushing an apology and a quick bow because it led to you dropping your umbrella. You cursed a little, more so scolding yourself to be lost in those silly old memories on a free afternoon when your gaze caught a figure. 

It was difficult to say what it was, maybe the familiarity you just never shook off, maybe it was because there was so much sadness about it that your own seemed almost like nothing.

He must have been standing in the pouring rain for some time, his clothes soaking, hair clinging to his face and the bouquet of flowers started to slowly crumble to the ground, little leaves falling as it was not made to withstand the angry autumn weather. 

Your heart was beating loudly, a drumming in your ears that even the traffic sound disappeared and all you could do was … walk. Your body was already on its way, it refused for your mind to actually step in, telling it how considering he had been waiting for somebody, quite obviously a person important, this was not the moment to make it worse.

Fate said: fuck you, I exist, now have your punishment for doubting me!

When you took the last stair, your steps finally slowed and you needed a moment to make it to his side. Carefully, yet gently your hand leaned forward and then, the world around you disappeared, all that was left was that small space underneath your umbrella.

“You shouldn’t stand here like that in the rain without an umbrella,” your voice scolded him gently.

Jeong Yunho looked up when your voice reached him. 

Why was it that he was crying when he saw you?

Yunho had known, this date was a foolish idea but what could he do about it? His heart yearned to be loved and to love, to have somebody who would smile at him and allow for his embrace to gently curl around. Lazy morning in bed, holding hands while walking through the city, ignoring the dull landscape autumn brought to it every time and a smile. He wanted to see a smile that would make his heart race.

It wasn’t a fantasy he desired to make true but a memory of something he had held until he lost it because of his wrongdoing. He wasn’t able to be the son his parents wanted and so, he did what they asked of him.

What would you do when you were seventeen, madly in love but also a child who wanted to make his parents proud, who believed so much in them that surely, they knew best?

He doubted it, the moment you screamed his name, asking him not to go and how his brother pulled him back to the car. Yet, both of you had accepted it, you lowered your heads to make your families proud and in return, his heart felt empty ever since. Nobody managed to fill it because nobody was you.

No, he didn't want any love, he wanted yours. He always did because once, it had been his.

Sure, the little flirts at his workplace had been sincere from his side or he told himself so, that woman was quick to return it but maybe as she learned how Yunho had this cliche dream of a simple life with a little family of his own, she changed her mind.

He felt like a fool standing in front of the cinema with flowers, knowing already half an hour later that she would not come, but not even the rain chased him away because maybe he wanted to cling to the hope that he was good enough for somebody, that maybe all it needed was time and they would be here, take him for who he was. Maybe he did not lose all the rights with you, but then would it be fair? Because deep down he just wanted ...

So he waited. For two hours. And then, he was found.

It was as the world cleared up, the rain stopped falling and a face came into view that was as beautiful as yesterday, yet so different that he could not deny he’d have been a little shy.

You held the umbrella right above him, scolding him for standing in the pouring rain.

Yunho’s mouth opened but no words were coming out as he was staring at you, the way how you had grown up so much but there was still all of the sweetness in your features he had fallen so hard for the first time back in junior year of High School, when introduced yourself as his science partner for the year. 

The damn tears wouldn't stop now.

You never were shy to do whatever it needed to make those you loved smile, even if it likely meant hurting yourself in the process.

To make him smile in the middle of the rain in a city, after seven years apart.

“Sorry I’m late, I got I was a little distracted. Are those for me?” 

It took Yunho a moment to realize you were pointing to the flowers in his hands which now were only a sad reflection of their earlier state.

He spent twenty minutes trying to choose a pair and only now, he realized he had gotten your favorite flowers. How did not pay attention to this sooner?

The world seemed to be standing still, that moment when Yunho wondered what he was doing. He waited and waited and he never … went back to you although it was all he wanted but he was undeserving.

So why were you here like that? 

And then you stepped closer and reached out for his cheek, he froze under the touch but your hand was soft and gentle. “Don’t cry, I am sorry I am late.” 

Your voice was a soft whisper and you brushed a tear away from his cheek before taking the flowers carefully from his hands. “Mh, I guess we do not have to worry about giving them water then any time soon. Here, let’s go. Get you somewhere warm and dry.”

Your hand grabbed him and you pulled him along, inside the cinema where a few people threw glances at you, no surprise, thinking how his appearance must have looked to any of them. 

Finally, after minutes must have passed, Yunho found his voice again, although it was far from its usual self: “Y/N?” It was as he needed confirmation that this was truly you and you were here with him.

“Sh, sit! We can worry about the rest later.”

You replied and pulled the wet scarf from his neck and forced him to shrug out of his coat. His cheeks started to turn red as he watched how you took care of him, using your own scarf to ruffle his hair a little more dry, and looked over his figure.

“Why are you so reckless? Standing in the rain like that. You always get a cold so easily,” you finally sat still and looked at him.

Yunho no longer could change it, he had to reach out and cup your face and you held still like you understood he needed to do this to be sure, that you really just had come back to him.

You always came running towards him while all he was doing was waiting. 

“I guess, I was waiting for you,” he whispered and hated how his eyes got wet again, how the tears would not stop from floating. The moment your arms curled around him, he found himself burying his face against your shoulder, feeling your hands soothingly brushing over the back of his neck. 

“It’s okay, I am here now. There, no reason to worry about it. I won’t go anywhere.” 

It didn’t feel like seven years were apart this moment and the last time you held each other in your arms just like that.

Yet, the familiarity finally managed to make him relax and he whispered your name again, wanting to make sure you knew.

It was hard seeing Yunho like that, his beautiful smile absent from his handsome face. Maybe it was a stupid idea for you to act like that, to say the things you did but then, was it? Did you not just admit to yourself how you longed for him, waiting for anything even close to what the two of you once shared to come into your life? 

People were staring, they always did and you did not worry about it, let them watch how somebody had a hard day. If they knew how seven years, almost a decade of separation was between the two of you, would they still?

Yunho finally seemed to relax, his fingers now took your hands and he looked at them like it was the first time, his thumb brushing over the soft skin. There was no rush, now that the two of you sat here together, if anything rush was what you feared, the thought of him leaving pushed far into the back of your mind.

“My apartment is close by,” Yunho finally said. “If you do not mind we skip the movie, I guess you are right and I should get something dry to wear.” 

Even if he tried to hide just how nervous he was to ask you that, it was easy to tell because you knew him better than anyone else and it seemed, the love of your life did not change to much, even with seven years passing by since you last held him in your arms.

It was the tears in his eyes back in the rain that made you do this, your heart could not take it to see him like that, not after longing for the softness of his smile for so long. In that moment, all that mattered had been to stop those tears but you noticed them constantly threatening to return in the edge of his eyes.

“That seems like a good idea, let’s get you there then;” you nodded and carefully picked up the flowers again, waiting for Yunho to slip back into the wet coat but when you reached for the umbrella, he shook his head: “Let me take this one for us. You haven’t gotten very tall still, so this will be easier.”

His little joke helps you to relax and you nod: “Sounds good.”

Back in high school, the two of you often would walk like that to school, when it would not stop raining just back then you were holding hands and talking about silly nonsense. It seemed so far away now with the buzzing streets of the city, and people rushing by to be done with their day. You wondered if Yunho was thinking something similar: Did he think about all the past memories or maybe, even wish to reach out for your hand? 

You would take it without hesitation.

“There we are,” his gentle voice made you look up and you were surprised just how close it had been. There was an odd feeling in your stomach, thinking how often you walked this street to work but you never knew your high school sweetheart was living here.

At least, the guilt shrank a little when you stepped in and it was easy to see that Yunho only must have moved in recently, a dozen boxes still standing around, some halfway opened.

“It’s a little messy. I used to work at a different branch, I only came here like two months ago… I kept finding excuses to take my time with it,” he explained, likely having noticed your gaze. He placed the umbrella next to the door and stripped it out of his streetwear. You were here to ensure that he would be okay but Yunho instantly fell back into his patterns.

He always put everyone else first, especially you and he was quick to offer you some comfortable slippers, some that brought some color to his cheek because they had the shape of cute dogs. 

“Do you want something to drink? Soda, coffee, tea? I also have water, of course!” He looked at you with his big eyes and if you wouldn’t know better, he seemed nervous.

“How about I make us some tea and you change into something dry? I am sure I can find everything I need for that,” you replied, giving him a small and playful shove, ignoring that you no longer were teens but two people in their mid-20s working big jobs. 

There was a small pout on his face, followed by a sigh: “Fineee, I shall be going. See you in a minute.” You couldn’t hold back the chuckle when you watched him almost racing to what seemingly was his bedroom. 

After shrugging out of your shoes and jacket, you put up your scarf to dry before moving over to the kitchen area, putting the poor bouquet into a glass of clear water before slowly opening the cabinets which proved to be a challenge. Damn Yunho was a giant and everyday necessities were stored at a height comfortable for him, so you needed to grab a stool to reach the packages of tea. You were quite sure to hear a wardrobe often a few times too often in the bedroom, and small hisses which made you smile.

When the two of you went on your first date, it was a little like that too. His mother had told you to wait but when still wasn’t there after fifteen minutes, you sneaked upstairs to find him being lost of what to wear best to impress you. You shook your head, reminding yourself that this was different, and poured two cups of tea. 

The place felt like him, small little details were making it comfortable and warm. You sat down on the couch and allowed your gaze to wander until it got stuck on one particular photo on the wall: it was the class picture from the last yearbook before he was forced to change schools. 

“Feels like an eternity, right”? his warm voice filled the air and you met with his smile. His hair was still wet but he had changed into an oversized knitted sweater, showing a little bit of collarbone, and a fresh pair of jeans. Somehow, it made him look younger again.

“Right? I can’t believe we are supposed to have one of those class meetings next year, I really do not feel that old yet,” you casually joked back before leaning over, and offering him the other cup of tea: “There you go, you need to warm up, even with dry clothes.” 

He made a face but listened, sitting down next to you. When you saw he wasn’t even wearing socks, you sighed because there were many memories of small summer colds because Yunho just was so reckless.

“You really are something, Jeong Yunho!” Your arm reached over and you grabbed a blanket, starting to wrap him up until you were satisfied he looked warm and comfortable.

“I’m fine, I promise,” he replied, muttering into the tea. It seemed neither of you really wanted to ask or talk about how exactly he had ended up in the rain like that. Instead, you sat down on the couch next to him, turning around to cross your legs and sipping on your own tea. It was not really hard to see he had so many questions, and so did you.

“My workplace is really nearby, our internet went off today and I suddenly found myself with a free afternoon;” you started, just to offer him anything.

“Maybe it’s time for a cat, you know? I am going towards my thirties now, being a single cat owner is almost mandatory to me but the firm who owns my complex says no. I got a bunny instead, do you want to see a photo?” 

It was so easy just to chat with Yunho, and tell him everything and nothing important. Your mind just settled with a habit you forgot you once had and you leaned over to show him the photo of the white fuzzy loop bunny. “This is Fluffs, yes I named him so because he just has too much fur but he is very patient when it comes to brushing.”

Yunho looked up, giving you a silly smile: “Right, so much to your talent of naming things.” You both laughed together and he was looking at the photos you showed him but all so often, you could feel his gaze on your face.

Did you mention being single on purpose? Yes, because you did not want to waste time on those things when instead, you would selfishly just take anything he’d give to you, ignoring that every day eventually had an end.

“I think, those were all,” you nodded and kept your phone in your hands, hesitant before offering it to him, looking away.

“You know… if you give me your number, I could send you photos of him here and then?”

Now you finally really blushed and you could see how Yunho seemed happy about it. He bowed and took the phone, saving his number before offering it back: “I am waiting patiently for updates.” 

It was when your fingers touched again and for a moment, the two of you held in and looked at each other. The cups both rested on the small couch table at this point and allowed for Yunho to be just a little daring because he was leaning closer, the blanket slipping off his shoulder. And then, his big hands rested on your face, one gently cupping your chin as your eyes met.

Words would be hard right now, there was no way to describe the sorrow of separation, the years of yearning and looking for something only one other person could give you. Regret would be wasted because there was no way to bring back what was lost but maybe, there was something true about the saying how one still had this very moment.

If this had been a movie, viewers would be disappointed now, because there was no kiss, no deep devotion of love. Yunho allowed his forehead to rest against yours, his arms finally curled around your body and he pulled you closer. His face was properly buried against his neck and you could feel the tears against your skin, the way his body tensed, and then, the small soft sobs that escaped him. 

You did not know why Yunho was in so much sorrow. Of course, your heartbreak had been intense too, you did not even go to prom on your graduation because all you could think was how he was not there. And in every important event of your life since, when couples embraced, your coworkers were picked up by their spouse, you thought of him.

Yeah, you really were a pitiful thing because how could you think of him every time but you never managed to get yourself out there looking? Times had been there, once, when you met his brother but he would not tell you anything other than Yunho was doing fine… and you just left it like that. 

“Hey there, look at me,” you finally very slowly moved after letting him cry for some time, now you captured his face: “It’s okay.”

But you could read it off his face: “It’s my fault. If not for me being so careless, we never would have broken up and I’d not … you’d not have to cry so much.”

You were relieved that he was not withdrawing but only looked away: “I was… stupid. I thought, that so many people had done it before so why not us? I meant to wait until we had graduated…But my mom found it and then she just lost it. My parents wouldn’t listen when I told them it was not like that, how it did not mean I planned not going to college, just that we wanted to go together and how I’d not see why not…”

Yunho seemed not to hold it back much longer but only a few things made sense. You could remember that day, in the morning everything had been perfect until you two came back from a small summer trip. His and your parents sitting together, then telling you how the relationship they supported for two years suddenly was no longer acceptable, how it would affect your grades and future, so they would no longer allow for it.

The way you both begged them, saying it wasn’t true and how you would surely go to college, do all of those things but they would not have it, Yunho’s parents already signed him into another high school.

“What do you mean?” you carefully asked, thumb brushing over his cheek.

“I brought a ring, from the money I made at the Summer job. I knew it would be the last chance to save up before college. I wanted to propose to you when we would have graduated, I knew how dumb I was back then but I just knew that you should be the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. When my mother found the ring by accident… she misunderstood it.”

Your mouth formed a small "Oh" because suddenly, it made sense. Yunho’s parents were kind people, but they always would do what they thought was best for their son and finally, you understood. Yunho must have blamed himself for all of this in the past seven years. The thought pained you greatly.

“Oh Yunho, we were barely seventeen and our parents had all of those great hopes and dreams for how the lives of their children should be. This is not your fault,” you pulled him into another hug and his tall form clung to you.

This was not his fault and suddenly, you came to accept nor was it yours. Yes, you could have looked for him but back then, there was nothing you could have done in that very moment, except to be reckless but this would not have been who you fell in love with. You two were in love but always caring for your families, like most kids.

For a moment, you hesitated and it was a foolish question but it blurred out before you knew it: “Do you still have it…?”

He knew exactly what you were talking about and moved back a little, his arm rubbing over his eyes in an attempt to get rid of the tears.

Yunho stood up slowly, moving to one of the boxes before he opened it. You remembered that silly shoe box he pulled out, covered in stickers and polaroids you took together. His fingers were gentle when he revealed a small satin box and walked back over to you.

There was a moment of hesitation before he opened it to show you the ring. It was delicate but simple, just a small silver band with yours and his name craved in and likely room for a date for the day of the proposal. It really suited him but also you because you never liked bulky or lavish details in jewelry. 

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered and he looked at you. Yunho swallowed before he moved to sit a little closer to you again. His beautiful hands were almost a little shaking when he lifted your left hand, waiting for a moment to see if you’d pull back but when you did not, the ring slipped on your finger and even after all those years, it was a perfect fit.

“It was always meant for you, so you should have it,” he whispered. This time, you were the one to shift, moving towards him and placing yourself onto his lap. 

“Yunho, you know I always waited for you, right? Even if I was so foolish this once not to rush towards you… nobody ever could fill that spot you left, it’s like it was always yours, just waiting for you to come back to it.”

The metal of the ring was cool against his skin when he reached out for this hand and placed kisses on it.

“You were the only one who ever really belonged to me.” 

The two of you were searching for something, but it was easy to find in each other’s eyes. “Then this time, let’s make sure it doesn’t stay empty,” you whispered. “I promise if you are late, I will come, running right towards you. Leave it to me, you won’t ever feel alone again.” 

Yunho looked at you before he pulled you into a hug: “You won’t have to run towards me again because now that you are back where you belong, I promise I won’t ever let go again.” You nuzzled your head against his shoulder and sighed in relief.

For a while, he just pulled the blanket over your figures, now feeling an awful lot exhausted. This was not how you imagined this day to turn out to be but it was perfect just like that. There was no reason to speak anymore, the comfort was given just by each other’s company and eventually, the two of you relaxed, laying down on the couch, Yunho holding you tightly in his arms as you closed your eyes and drifted off.

It looked like he fell asleep a little after you. Yunho stirred, his neck a little stiff from the uncomfortable couch. The moment he reached out for you and the spot was empty, his eyes widened and he sat up, mind split between barely awake and fear. 

He still could hear the fall of rain outside, splattered the windows but it had gotten dark, nightfall had come and only left small traces of light from the street lamps. Your phone wasn’t there either. Yunho panicked, he almost fell off the couch.

“Y/N?!”

The way he called out for you was a mix of fear and maybe more desperate than he wanted to admit. The idea of losing you again, he could not bear it. There was no way he could do this again and as his bare feet walked over the cool wooden flooring, rushing towards the front door, a wave of light blinded him, coming from his bedroom.

“Yunho? I’m sorry, my boss called me, she wouldn’t stop. I told her, I have to take a sick day tomorrow 'cause I got into the rain… hey, what’s up?”

He reached out for you right away, hugging you tightly: “Just a bad dream, I thought you were gone.”

It was barely a whisper but you understood him right away.

Just as you always did. 

“Not going anywhere anymore,” you placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before taking his hand, taking a step back, and pulling him towards the bedroom.

“And where to? We have so much to do you, you know? Meet your colleagues, and then you meet mine. Take cute photos, try cake! Lots of cake! Decide what place we like best.”

Yunho blinked as he fell onto his bed with you. This was much more comfortable and he pulled you close, placing kisses over your shoulder before resting his chin on top of your head.

“Cake and places?” he asked before leaning back to look you in the eyes.

You had this incredibly cute and confident grin on your lips and now that he thought of it, it was more sexy than adorable. You had become such an incredible person and he could not wait to spend the rest of his life with you. To have the person he loved the most by his side again while also learning all about what was new.

Nothing would separate you again. 

“Well, we have been engaged for eight years now, yes? I think, it’s about time we do the thing!”

Yunho blushed as he looked at you and your features softened but the two of you knew it was true.

Because, the two of you always belonged to each other, been each others', and even with so many years apart, it never would change just that.

“I love you,” he whispered, and his heart jumped when you said those words he longed to hear again for so long back right away.

Without hesitation.

You were together

The drum of rain gently fell against the window. Autumn had come. 

But maybe with the right person by your side, it always could be summer.

[poisonlove]

Sorry... | j.o

It's a story set in a high school and revolves around Y/n, a lesbian student who has faced bullying and discrimination because of her sexuality. Her life takes an unexpected turn when Jenna, a popular and cruel girl, approaches her unexpectedly.

Summer vacation had just ended, and it was time to return to school. The sense of freedom and carefreeness I had enjoyed during the summer was fading, giving way to anxiety and worry about what awaited me in the new and fortunately final school year.

I walked to school, headphones in my ears playing the sweet sound of "Daylight" by David Kushner. The music enveloped me, trying to make me forget the impending start of a new school year, which I anticipated to be as disastrous as the previous ones.

I paused for a moment, taking in my surroundings. Leaves were slowly falling onto the grass, a sign that summer was gradually giving way to autumn. The temperatures were dropping, and the bus stop was as crowded as ever, with familiar faces. Looking around the neighborhood, I noticed subtle differences. The air was quieter than usual, with many people still asleep at this hour. Gray clouds covered the sky, giving the atmosphere a more melancholic feel.

I walked almost like a shadow, lost in my thoughts. A sigh of frustration escaped my lips as I thought about why I should endure this daily torture. Why should I endure the bruises from the taunts inflicted by the popular kids?

The truth is, there is a reason, even though there shouldn't be. I'm a lesbian. It's surprising how something so personal can become an issue for others, especially considering we're in the 21st century. I often wonder how my sexuality could affect anyone's life other than my own. It should be a personal matter, a part of who I am, but it seems that some people are obsessed with the idea that they should judge me for it. I didn't choose to be a lesbian; it's simply who I am, and it feels unfair that I have to bear the weight of others' prejudice and ignorance.

There's a sense of frustration in seeing the world move forward in many other areas but still having to face discrimination and bullying because of my identity. But despite it all, I'll continue to be myself and hope that one day the world can accept anyone, regardless of who we love.

I sigh deeply and shake my head, instinctively biting my lower lip as I walk. Confusion and frustration surround me, but I try to keep them at bay. My eyes turn towards the house in front of me, and a spontaneous smile spreads across my face when I see my best friend, Sofia Carson, coming out of her house with her backpack. It's a relief to see her, especially in moments like this.

Sofia is a girl with black hair and lively eyes that radiate enviable confidence. Her contagious smile and friendly personality make her a special person. As I get a little closer, I see Sofia running toward me with a radiant smile on her lips. Her black hair flows behind her as she approaches, almost as if her positive energy could brighten the whole day. She's my rock in this chaotic world, and her presence makes me feel stronger and less alone.

I remove my headphones and turn my attention to Sofia. "Hey, Sof. How was the trip?" I ask with a smile, trying to momentarily push away the thoughts that were tormenting me.

Sofia wraps an arm around my neck and leans her weight against my body.

"I missed you so much, you know?" she says, looking at me with bright eyes.

"We haven't seen each other for just two weeks," I murmur, amused.

"True... but the trip to Europe was great... I went to Italy!" she exclaims with enthusiasm.

"Is it true that everyone in Italy is beautiful?" I ask with curiosity, and Sofia huffs, nodding several times. Her reaction makes me laugh.

"Yes, it's true..." Sofia seems a bit embarrassed as she bites her lower lip, and I can't help but laugh again.

"And what have you been up to these past two weeks while I was gone?" Sofia asks timidly, and a shiver runs slightly down my spine. During that time, I experienced a panic attack and escalating depression, succumbing to the temptation of the razor blade. Unconsciously, I pull the sleeve of my leather jacket down to hide the scars.

"Oh, nothing special, you know," I reply, trying to smile. I don't want to worry Sofia with my problems, at least not right now.

Sofia looks at me out of the corner of her eye, seeming to doubt my words. My attempt to conceal what I've been through in the past two weeks doesn't seem convincing. Without even realizing it, we had already reached the gates of LA High School. We look at the imposing building, aware that another school year awaits us.

"Oh, did you hear? The new album by The Weeknd just came out!" Sofia exclaims with excitement. "Really? I didn't know!" I respond, surprised and relieved by the change of topic. "I'll have to listen to it when I get home."

A few steps ahead, as we gaze at the school panorama, Sofia returns to the subject. "I bet it's fantastic; his last album was amazing."

"I hope so," I say with a smile. "I like his music."

We exchange a few more words, but soon Sofia is called over by some of her friends in the distance. "Hey, y/n/n, want to come with me?" she asks, but I shake my head, feeling embarrassed. I don't want to add my discomfort to her social interactions, so I watch her walk away, hoping that my best friend can enjoy her day without the burdens I carry with me.

I put my headphones back on, and my smile quickly fades, replaced by the sadness that seems to inevitably return. As I pass through the school doors, anxiety grows within me.

But before I can take a step, two arms enter my field of vision, and I find myself quickly with my back against the lockers. The force of the impact makes me grit my teeth and hold back the tears, clenching my jaw to prevent a whimper from escaping my lips.

The perpetrator of my pain is Asher Spenser, the brown-haired guy and captain of the basketball team. "Look who we have here! And I was hoping not to see you until at least the last year," he says with a contemptuous smile.

"But at least I'll have something to take my frustration out on, you disgusting freak," he hisses through his teeth, his tone filled with hatred and ridicule. As I face yet another challenge in my day, I know I must find the strength to endure these cruel words and ongoing torment.

Asher sadistically laughs. "Without your little friend Sofia? She was always there to solve your problems."

His laughter is like a knife stabbing into my heart, and I feel increasingly isolated.

Then, with a boundless malevolence, he continues to whisper, "Even your best friend got tired of you... do everyone a favor... kill yourself."

His words are like daggers in the dark, hurting more than his physical actions. My jaw clenches as I try to hold back the tears, and humiliation and anger merge into a storm within me. But I know I can't let him see how much he's hurt me. I have to endure.

"What do you want, Asher?" I murmur weakly, hoping he'll go away.

"The disgusting lesbian suddenly found some courage!" he says sarcastically, and before I can react, he pushes me against the lockers again.

A female voice intervenes from a distance.

"Let her go, Ash." But Asher seems to ignore her. He presses my face against the locker, forcing me to turn my attention to the instigator of my torment, Jenna Ortega. She's the captain of the cheerleading squad and the leader of the popular group. Next to her is Cassie, her best friend, who's sipping on a smoothie.

"Stop looking at Cassie, a freak like you can't ogle my girlfriend," Asher slams my body against the lockers again, making me slide to the ground. His violence is palpable as I stand there, unable to react or defend myself. Anger and shame blend together as I feel the gazes of curious onlookers.

"Let her go, Ash," Jenna repeats, giving me a quick glance. Her request seems surprising given her involvement in my troubles. "Suddenly you're being nice to her?" Asher asks, looking puzzled. Jenna opens her mouth in indignation. "I can't stand her, you know that," she justifies herself, "it's just that some teachers are roaming the school, and if they catch you, you'll get detention."

Before I can get up from the ground, a liquid spills over my head. I feel completely dirty from what seemed to be a strawberry smoothie. With tear-blurred eyes, I look towards Cassie.

She then throws the empty cup at me, always wearing a smirk on her lips. Her laughter is malicious and cold, while Asher laughs heartily by her side. Jenna, on the other hand, has a strange look on her face, as if she's reflecting on what's happening.

Without thinking, I run to the bathroom, utterly embarrassed, just wishing to get rid of the sticky smoothie. My day has turned into a nightmare, and the only comfort I can find is in the privacy of the bathroom, where I can try to recover and hide my humiliation.

I dash towards the bathrooms with my head down, earning chuckles and looks of pity from some students who have stopped to witness the scene. My desperate run draws the attention and sympathy of those who see my condition.

I know a place where I can seek refuge. It's a bathroom located on the fifth floor, long abandoned by the school. The walls are faded and peeling, the floor is covered in dust. Mirrors are often cracked or scratched, and the air is filled with a gloomy and neglected atmosphere. It's a place where no one would bother to look for me, an isolated corner where I can hide my shame and try to regain a semblance of dignity. It's my secret sanctuary, away from prying eyes and the torment of bullies.

The first thing I do when I enter the bathroom is take off my leather jacket, leaving just the hoodie and top. I look at myself in the mirror, and my reflection fills me with disgust. Tears silently stream down my cheeks. Amidst the sobs, I turn on the faucet, letting the water flow. I bite my lower lip as I lean down, tilting my head to wet my hair, desperately trying to remove the sticky smoothie.

The cold water runs through my hair and down my skin, refreshing my flushed face. As I continue to rinse my hair, I hear a voice coming from the entrance of the bathroom.

"So, you were here when we couldn't find you," the voice says. I glance at myself in the mirror again, wondering why Jenna can't just leave me alone.

"What do you want, Jenna? You want to pull my hair? You want to dunk my head in the toilet?" I ask in frustration, challenging her. I've reached a point where I can't bear her cruelties without defending myself.

Jenna blinks in surprise, seemingly not expecting my reaction. Her expression, however, quickly turns into a disdainful sneer. Her skin is impeccably fair, and her black hair falls in soft waves. She's wearing a short skirt and a pink crop top that showcases her well-maintained figure. Despite her attractive appearance, her ruthless and cruel demeanor makes it hard to ignore how toxic she can be.

"I just wanted to know how you were," Jenna defends herself with what seems like a gentle tone, although her eyes betray a hint of sarcasm.

At that moment, I smile sarcastically too, unable to believe her words. I know all too well that behind this sudden concern lies another form of manipulation. Jenna excels at making her actions appear kind, only to strike even harder afterward. I won't be fooled by her.

"What do you want, Jenna?" I ask again, trying to understand her true intentions. Her eyes move along my wet body, following the path of water droplets running from my hair down my shoulders and down my body to my abdomen. It's an embarrassing sensation, feeling scrutinized like this.

"I told you, I wanted to know how you were," Jenna replies again, but this time, she seems to say it without sarcasm. Her sudden sincerity surprises me, but I remain cautious. I'm not sure if I can really trust her words, considering her history of cruelty.

"Come on, Jenna... we both know you're no saint," I say with a hint of venom in my voice.Jenna huffs with anger, evidently irritated by my challenge.

The tension between us is palpable, and even though it seems like she wants to be kind now, I can't forget all the pain she has inflicted on me in the past.

I'm cautious, but at least for now, it seems like she wants to stop tormenting me. Her eyes move along my body again, but this time, they linger on my arm. I shudder, realizing that someone has discovered my scars. My breathing becomes irregular as Jenna looks at me with confusion and panic.

"Do... do you hurt yourself?" Jenna asks, swallowing nervously. Her words hit me like a punch in the gut. I had never thought that someone would discover my darkest secret. Instinctively, I grab my jacket and put it on, wanting to cover my scars. At that moment, I don't care that I'm only wearing a top, as I have no intention of going to class, and I'll likely go home early.

Jenna approaches me, looking at my wrist covered by the jacket's sleeve. Her expression is hard to decipher, a mix of concern and confusion. I'm not sure what to make of this situation. I had never imagined having such a conversation with Jenna.

"Show me..." Jenna mutters and, without waiting for my response, takes my hand. Her nails delicately trace my skin before she lifts the jacket's sleeve. It's surprising how gentle she is in this moment. She places her hand around my scars, feeling their texture.

"Why do you cut yourself?" Jenna timidly asks.

"Isn't it obvious?" I respond with venom, anger boiling inside me.

"Listen..." Jenna starts, but I immediately cut her off. I have no desire to listen to her or explain my reasons.

"Sorry okay?" She say.

Consumed by anger, I approach her, and surprisingly, she doesn't move, almost challenging me with her gaze. "I don't need your pity... not after you've shown me your true colors all these years," I say with a whisper, my voice filled with anger.

I don't want her pity now, after everything I've been through. Jenna looks at me with tearful, shining eyes, but my heart is too full of pain and anger to accept her apologies so easily. "It was my only way..." Jenna mutters, her voice breaking, "...it was my only way to get close to you." Her confession surprises me deeply.

I had never imagined that her actions could be an attempt to get closer to me, even if it was in a strange and destructive way. My anger and pain mix with confusion as I try to understand her motivations.

"But what the hell..." I mutter instinctively, unable to believe what I'm hearing.

Jenna continues to speak, confessing her true motivations. "I was... I was so jealous of how you could be yourself without fear of others' reactions... You seemed happy... you were happy even though others looked at you strangely, knowing your sexual orientation..."

Jenna swallows nervously, visibly anxious but continues. "I... really like you, Y/n," she confesses, her words filling the air between us.

I'm taken aback by this revelation. I had never imagined that Jenna could have romantic feelings for me after everything she had done.

"Don't mock me..." I say with anger, my confusion and pain turning into rage. "If you really like me, you wouldn't have treated me that way."

Her past actions, her bullying, and her cruelties had been so damaging to me that it's hard to accept her words now. I'm not sure if I can trust Jenna, even though she seems to have opened up to me.

"Do I seem like an idiot to you?" I ask, watching Jenna shake her head.

"I saw how people looked at you... I was afraid that someone like me would be treated the same," she confesses sincerely.

"Just because you're a popular girl doesn't mean you can't fall for someone like me," I say sarcastically, my anger and frustration still palpable. Her admission is creating a mix of emotions in me, but I can't help but be skeptical of her intentions.

The situation is incredibly complicated.

"I'm really in love with you..." Jenna murmurs softly, placing her hand on my cheek. I close my eyes at her touch, feeling her nails on my skin. But Jenna's touch shakes me, and I quickly remove her hand from my face.

"You could have just been my friend... like Sofia..." I mutter, smiling sarcastically. "Now I need to leave; this situation is really unpleasant."

Without saying another word, I leave the room, leaving Jenna Ortega confused and alone.

And certainly, such a confession wasn't enough to erase what she had done.

[octuscle]

If a nerd in highschool suddenly gained muscular body, without an effect on his brains or mental state

How quickly would he actually, naturally change? Maybe the attention gives him an ego?

Or maybe the jocks want to be his friend

How much of a jock could the nerd become?

Project diary, entry 1 (Friday)

My name is Salomon Miller. I live in Providence, Connecticut and am a senior in high school. I wouldn't say I have any real hobbies, but I am interested in art history, architecture, astronomy and geology. And many other things. I read a lot and actually everything I can get my hands on. But my passion is sociology and political science. That's also one of the reasons why I'm writing this diary. Starting next semester, I will be studying at Stanford and have a full scholarship, which is linked to my participation in a project. The Department of Sociology will use my person to investigate the effects of serious physical changes on the psyche and behavior. I won't find out in advance what the physical changes are, but the changes were set in motion with the help of an injection that I received today.

My parents support me in the project. My father is a lawyer specializing in environmental law, my mother is a neurologist and psychiatrist. Neither of them understand why I chose to study sociology, but as they both studied at Stanford, they accept my plans. They don't have many options either, they are both in Europe for a long time. My mother has a research semester at the University Hospital of Heidelberg and my father is currently representing a client in a lengthy case at the European Court of Justice. I've known this situation since I was a child. I'm used to having our gardener or Consuela, our housekeeper, as my social contact. That's not meant in a negative way, I love my parents, even if our contact is often less intensive. This has taught me a certain independence, which I really appreciate.

Today is the Friday evening before the last weekend of the summer vacation. The date was chosen deliberately for the injection. This gives me until Monday morning to get used to the upcoming transformation. At the moment, I feel nothing more than a certain tiredness. Normally I would go for a long walk or read something. But I'm just exhausted and will go to bed early.

Project diary, entry 2 (Saturday)

I woke up at around 03:00 in the morning. I was scared to death. I was almost strangled by my pyjamas. I tried to rip the top off my body. I tore it completely to shreds. I was no longer wearing my pyjama bottoms, which were already lying in tatters in my bed. It was clear to me that the transformation had begun. And a look in the bathroom mirror gave me certainty. My whole body was twitching, just like I'd seen in a Hulk movie. Except I didn't turn green. But my muscles literally grew. In fact, little else has changed. I am still clearly me. Even though my neck was already wider than my head, which is why I almost suffocated in my pyjamas, this was still my face. My hairstyle unchanged. My eyesight was also the same. Fortunately, the head can't get any more muscular, the glasses still fit. My thoughts were running amok in my head, I can't describe the feeling, especially as the cramps didn't stop and the muscles continued to grow. I lay down on my bed and tried to relax. At around 04:30 the cramps subsided and I fell asleep again from exhaustion.

When I woke up at around 09:45, I was lying sticky and sweaty in a dried up puddle of semen. Obviously I had ejaculated once or several times. After getting up, I went to the bathroom to assess the change. According to the scales, I now weigh 120 kilograms (I assume that documentation in metric units is more scientific), my height is unchanged at 182 cm. What has actually changed is the length of my penis, which is now 18 cm when flaccid. I have not yet been able to measure the length when erect. In fact, I would have thought that the sight of a muscular man would somehow excite me. But my head has been working like crazy since I got up, I suppose my blood is needed in my brain and is not available for an erection. The shower was still an incredible experience. My body feels great. I had no idea what muscles felt like. However, I realized while showering that I had a problem: None of my clothes would fit me anymore. And my father is smaller than me and, like I was until yesterday, is also more of an ectomorph. My only hope was that José, our gardener, who is probably almost as muscular as me and about my height, had some of his clothes in the dirty laundry. He and Consuela both don't work at the weekend and I didn't want to invade his room.

I was actually lucky and managed to find a pair of jeans, a jockstrap, a T-shirt and a pair of tennis socks in the laundry. Everything smelled very unpleasant and at first I thought about washing it first and then putting it on, but then decided against it. Instead, I went to the mall as I was to buy something new to wear. There is an expense account from the project, which is presumably intended for exactly these cases. Shopping really was an ordeal. As usual, I went to Macy's at Providence Place Mall first, but I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't going to find anything in my size there besides clothes for gym class. Then I went to Abercrombie & Fitch for the first time. The sales assistants literally pounced on me. The XXL T-shirts fitted reasonably well, my thighs were too big for the jeans, but shorts were fine. Fortunately, the weather forecast for the next few days is still very good.

Even though I was extremely focused on quickly working through my shopping list and getting back home, I didn't miss the effect I had on my body. Not only did the sales clerks pay much more attention to me, people turned to me, nodded appreciatively at me and greeted me. It all made me extremely uncomfortable. I was glad when I got home again.

Project diary, entry 3 (Sunday)

I'm not really a religious person, but I value the institution of the church as a culturally integrating entity. So I probably would have actually gone to church, but I would have been very uncomfortable in shorts and low-cut t-shirts that exposed my chest. So I spent the day making up my bed, doing the laundry and getting ready for the first day of school after the vacations. My story for teachers and classmates will be that I spent the summer in Europe with my parents and discovered my enthusiasm for the gym out of boredom. I have no idea whether this story will be accepted. As much as possible, I completed the course enrollment online. Because I really have no idea what I can do with this body, I signed up for boxing and wrestling. The alternative would have been football, but I have no experience at all with team and ball sports. Swimming used to be the sport I hated the least, but a few laps in our pool today have shown me that my body has become less streamlined. Although I have a lot more strength, my times are worse than usual.

I have signed up again for the astronomy and chess clubs. Apart from that, I thought it made sense to leave myself enough time to be able to react to unexpected events.

My first real test was my Sunday video conference with my parents. As I can't hide anything, I decided to take the offensive and had the conversation in nothing but my swimming trunks by the pool. Even though I had no real idea of my parents' reaction, I was actually taken aback. My mother scientifically dissected the situation and said that my body was probably more efficient now and therefore I would have a benefit gain. My father disagreed, as he assumed that a bulkier body had a worse ecological balance. In the beginning, I tried to approach this project as objectively as possible. But then I couldn't help but start crying. I was afraid of tomorrow. And my parents actually showed something like emotion and compassion.

Project diary, entry 4 (Monday)

I was expecting something like running the gauntlet. But the first day at school was actually relatively unproblematic. Most of my friends at least pretended to believe my story about my stay in Europe. The teachers were not surprised either and largely went straight back to business as usual. The only noticeable reaction came from the musclemen and jocks. I have the feeling that they never took their eyes off me. When there was eye contact, I received a respectful nod. Otherwise, I felt a bit like a foreign lion approaching a pride of lions. Every muscle of the alpha animals and their water carriers was tense and ready to strike if I got too close to their watering hole. I'm looking forward to my first PE lesson tomorrow.

Project diary, entry 6 (Tuesday)

While the morning was more of a triumph, the afternoon was a debacle. The subject matter in chemistry and physics suits me very well, everything is very interesting. There shouldn't be any significant challenges in Spanish lessons either. But the new Spanish teacher is also an advantage here. Based on her first impression, she probably thought I was a hollow nut. She didn't expect me to have already read Don Quixote in the original and in the contemporary Spanish transcription during the vacations.

I embarrassed myself to the bone in gym class. Of course, after my contrived lie, everyone assumed that I knew my way around the gym like the back of my hand. And I don't even know how to hold a barbell properly. Interestingly, no one laughed at me or anything. On the contrary, they all assumed that I'm extremely underchallenged and told me that I should just train for myself and that I should join them next week after I've learned the basics. But maybe that was just polite contempt.

In any case, I spent the whole afternoon and evening at home watching all the gym tutorials I could get hold of and reading everything I could find about bodybuilding, nutrition and supplements. That's why I skipped the first session of the chess club. But I had to prioritize.

Project diary, entry 7 (Wednesday)

Theory is good, practice is better. That's why I went straight to the gym this morning at 06:00. The school janitor who opened the door for me said appreciatively that my discipline was paying off. The big boys are always the first to arrive in the morning. If only he knew. But in fact I was lucky, I was alone on the training area until 07:00 and by then I had familiarized myself with most of the machines I had learned how they worked in theory and had also developed a feeling for the weights I was able to lift.

The second visitor to the gym after me was the quarterback of the football team. Stephen and I have been at the same school since first grade. Of course I know him. But of course he has no idea who I am. We've never had classes together and someone like me is of course a nobody to him. Or was a nobody to him. Now I was his biggest rival, the only classmate who had bigger biceps and a broader chest than him. And being the alpha male that he was, he sought conflict directly. As far as I know, the jocks and Himbo's call it "cock comparison". Wherever I trained, he did the same afterwards with more weight. After training, he waited for me in front of the shower and said that he had already heard about me. I was the Spanish exchange student. I looked at him questioningly. "Well, the one who had that book with the windmills and the crazy knight at school. The linebacker goes to your Spanish course. Clever to take Spanish as a Spaniard," he said. I shook his hand, introduced myself as Salomon and told him we were in the same kindergarten. He returned the offered hand with a fist bump and said that I must have mistaken him. He had never been to Spain. But I spoke very good English for a Spaniard.

I always prefer to spend my lunch break alone. I like to read or just relax. This time, however, Stephen waved me straight over to him and his boys. He introduced me as Sal and said I should tell him how I liked it in the USA. At first, I wanted to start comparing European democracies with the US, especially in light of the rise of populist tendencies. But then I didn't think that was a good idea and just said that I thought the USA was the greatest country in the world. Stephen gave me a fistbump and all his buddies followed suit. Before English class after lunch, my friend Frederick passed me and said somewhat reproachfully whether I would always eat with the football team now. I laughed and gave him a fist bump and said that I would only eat as long as my primate research project lasted.

Project diary, entry 8 (Friday)

Yesterday was a wild day! I went to wrestling practice. Everyone but me has taken wrestling as a sport since they were in high school. I'm the only one who had no experience at all. Sure, I looked at and read through everything I could find to prepare. But without any practical experience, I really made a fool of myself. Thank God the coach really understood me. He said that he was sorry that bodybuilding wasn't a school subject. And then he gave me tips on how to pose properly. Damn, when I stood in front of the mirror in just my underpants and he touched my muscles to get them in the right position, I got a boner. And he obviously noticed. He then hugged me from behind and massaged my nipples. It was a feeling I'd never experienced before. I started to moan. He pulled me close to him. I felt his hard-on against my ass. And then I had my first orgasm outside of my bathroom. I was so embarrassed. And it was so great! Since then, I've really just wanted to make my coach proud. I've spent every spare minute at the gym, signed up to the sports club to do more wrestling and spent a small fortune on sportswear. I'm afraid I have a real crush for the first time in my life.

Today I got a telling off from my friends from the astronomy club. I missed the meeting and no longer see them during school breaks. I admit it, I'm neglecting my old social environment. But I have to find my way in my new role. Or rather, I have to find this new role first. Tonight I have a date with a couple of guys from the sports club. We're going to the gym first and then want to watch football in the sports bar. I'm a bit excited because I've tended to spend my weekend evenings alone in front of the computer so far. Now I have to think about what I'm going to wear.

Project diary, entry 9 (Sunday)

Dude, I might be drunk. For the second night in a row. The weekend is one big party. Last night at the sports bar was great. It was a little hard at first to pretend I knew anything about football. But after one beer I didn't give a shit. At some point, someone bought me some booze. Because his team had won or something. I was completely out of it and had to puke at some point. I can't really remember, but I'm afraid I didn't hit the toilet bowl. One of the boys then took me home with him. I really wasn't able to find my way home. Apparently, at some point I invited the boys over for a pool party on Saturday. And it escalated a little bit. Fuck, I probably have to spend the rest of the day tidying and cleaning. But for now I'm going to bed. After I've thrown up.

Project diary, entry 10 (Monday)

I'm a bit embarrassed about my behavior at the weekend. When I woke up on Sunday, a few of the boys were still snoring by the pool. And a few of them were making breakfast on the barbecue. I didn't really get around to cleaning. And then I overslept today too. Consuela suddenly came into my room and asked if my parents knew what had happened here. I gave her 100 dollars from my emergency expense fund and asked her not to reveal anything. She and Raoul actually did a great job. When I got home from astronomy club late at night, everything was pretty tidy again. The two of them are real treasures!

Mondays are not sports days. History, English, math. I admit that math has never been my hobbyhorse. And my teacher has made no secret of the fact that he thinks I'm an overprivileged white boy. When I couldn't answer a question to his satisfaction today, he said something along the lines of "Muscleheads are just all airheads". The whole back row started throwing paper balls at the teacher and hooting in protest. I have never received such expressions of sympathy.

Between school and the astronomy club, I went to the optician and got some contact lenses. Glasses are just so annoying when you're doing sport. And then I went to the hairdresser. I like my haircut. My hair is longer at the nape of my neck than at the sides. I had a photo of Coach with me and said that I wanted to look like this. Hehehe, the hairdresser said that he couldn't take away my muscles. In fact, I'm bigger than Coach. The hairdresser also shaved my beard. I haven't even written that yet, I have the feeling that my beard and body hair are growing faster and thicker. A bush is growing under my armpits and in my pubic area...

The astronomy club was terribly exhausting. I wanted to concentrate on the Jupiter-Venus conjunction. We had the best conditions to observe it today. But the nerds were all just asking questions about what exactly it was like on vacation, how I trained, how I changed my diet. I prepared myself for these kinds of questions. But every one of my answers was scientifically dissected. If it goes on like this, I'd rather look at the stars alone.

Project diary, entry 11 (Thursday)

The last few days have been pretty exciting, which is why I didn't get around to writing the diary. After training on Tuesday I went to the showers. Not all the guys on the team do this, but I just don't feel comfortable in the sweat with a bit of Axe under my arms. I also urgently needed to clear my balls and cock of the hair that was growing and shave my chest. I still can't get used to how hairy I get. In any case, it all took longer than with the other boys and then I was alone with Chuck in the shower. And suddenly Chuck knelt in front of me and sucked my cock. Without warning. I had prepared myself for intercourse in theory and in practice.

In any case, I've been a bit confused ever since. I mean, I have a crush on Coach. And Coach also got a boner when he helped me pose. I mean, he must think I'm hot too. But Chuck says he's had a crush on me ever since he and I spent Friday night together. The night I don't remember. But I'm writing all mixed up...

The blowjob in the shower was definitely sooooo hot. Even though it didn't last long. Boy, I shot my load into Chuck's mouth like that. My cum was leaking out of both corners of his mouth. He French kissed me with my cum in his mouth. Dude, I'm getting hard just thinking about it. And then he grinned and said that edging wasn't really my thing. I had no idea what he meant. In any case, I kissed him again and started wanking his cock. I was far too excited to suck him off myself. Chuck moaned and started twitching. Then he pulled me against him and wedged his cock between our stomach muscles. And then blew his load. Bloody hell! I don't know how long we showered together and soaped each other up.

In any case, I then started to gain practical experience with sexual intercourse. Chuck spent the night with me the day before yesterday and yesterday. The first time we fucked was really awkward. Chuck also asked if I was still a virgin. I said no, of course. But I'm sure he realized that it was the first time I'd fucked someone. And also that I was being fucked. In bed and in the hot tub. The first time I blew him was Wednesday in the school bathroom. We both just had a lot of pressure on our balls before civics. Shit, I'd never thought about sex before, now I can't get sex out of my head.

Practice is coming up. I just jerked off to the idea of forming a sandwich with Coach and Chuck in the shower. That would be so hot!

Project diary, entry 12 (Sunday)

Shit, I love my life. The parties this weekend were so hot. I mean, sure I love Chuck, but my dick has too much energy for one man. And Chuck gets off on me fucking other men too. As long as he's the only one who gets to fuck me. It's a point of honor, of course!

Before I go to bed now, I went to the gym again. To burn off the alcohol. And prepare my muscles for a tough week. I have my first wrestling tournament next Friday. And I've promised Steph-bruh, the quarterback, that I'll drop by football training. The hollow nut still calls me wetback, but has now understood that I'm not Spanish or Latino. And then I have to chat with my mentor from Stanford again. I don't know if sociology is really my subject. Chuck wants to study business administration. He's hoping for an athletic scholarship. Maybe I'm up for that too.

Inspiration found @redneckmusclehead

[obsessedelusional]

Camp Counselor Munson

paring ✦ Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

summary ✦ You’ve been attending summer camp since forever. This year a new camp counselor joins, it’s Eddie. You’re the cheer captain, he’s the town freak. What could possibly happen between you two?Modern AU Contains smut

word count ✦ 4,800ish

authors note ✦ I love Eddie so much ): this took me forever for whatever reason lol hope y’all enjoy

masterlist

FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

This was your seventh year attending Camp Summer Haven. You've been here a few weeks out of every summer vacation since you were 11. Now at 18 years old, headed into your senior year of high school, you were too old to be just an attendee. Since you turned 16 you have been volunteering as a camp counselor. All you really had to do was make sure the six girls you were in charge of didn't miss activities and they made it through the two weeks alive.

You had grown to love this place it was an escape from the real world. Two whole weeks with friends you only seen once a year. With the no phone rule you were able to make actual connections with these people. As the cheer captain at Hawkins a lot of your friendships felt forced. For two weeks you weren’t one of the most popular girls, just another girl at camp. A few of the kids also went to your school but as you got older they stopped showing up. Which you were grateful for, you already spent all school year around them. That was more than enough for you.

"Okay guys, go get settled in your cabins," Trevor, one of the camp leaders, announces to the group of camp counselors in front of him, you included.

"The kids should be here in an hour. When they arrive please make your way to the entrance building so we can get the kids split up between everyone." He explains, passing out the cabin keys. You all nod in agreement before he takes off. Your key lets you know you'd be staying in the Cabin nine, the one the farthest away from everything. Great you mumble to yourself, annoyed.

"Yes! I got cabin two." Jessie cheers.

"Which one did you get?" She asks when she notices your sour attitude.

"Nine," You groaned. Everyone knew that cabin nine was the farthest away so usually the most neglected. Also rarely did it entice camp leaders to make the trek out there. Meaning you could possibly get away with more but that didn't matter because you never tried to get away with anything especially with six kids staying with you.

"Sorry chica," Jessie laughs.

"I'll be fine. Just late to everything." You joke back. You two had gotten extremely close several summers back.

"Well once you get settled in were all gonna meet up at the rec hall and catch up till the kids get here." She smiles when you agree and then you both part ways. Making the long walk to cabin nine.

—

About thirty minutes later your on your way to the rec hall. You changed into your Camp Haven get up. A t-shirt with the green and orange logo and the matching shorts. As a camp counselor you had a few different options to wear, you usually wore the shorts because if you were being entirely honest you liked the way you ass looked in them.

When you enter into the rec hall a few of the girls are standing around in a circle, whispering.

"What are we talking about?" You ask infiltrating their group discussion.

"The newest camp leader." Jessie chimes, her tone of voice leading you to believe he must be hot. You follow her finger where she points to Trevor speaking to the long haired, tattooed camp leader.

"Oooh," you coo agreeing with Jessie, he was fine. At least from behind, his jean so perfectly hugging his butt.

"What do we know? What's his name?" You ask, needing to know all details.

"His paperwork said Edward." Lucy answers your question, she spent most of her time helping in the office so she was the go to for all information.

"That's a ugly name." Lacey laughs. Lucy and Lacey were basically twins always attached at hips. Blonde hair, blue eyes; borderline perfect.

"Maybe he goes by Eddie." Jessie suggests and that's when all the pieces start to connect. You groan outwardly when you realize its none other than Eddie Munson. The long haired "freak" who would make a fool of him self on a daily bases at school.

"What?" Jessie asks at your groan.

"He goes to my school."

"No fucking way." Jessie chirps, all the girls attention on you now.

"Unfortunately yes."

"Girl he is so fine. Why are you so distraught?" Lucy asks, puzzled by my reaction.

"If you went to school with him you'd understand." You tried not to judge anyone but its pretty hard when he's jumping on lunch tables hissing at the jocks, some your friends unfortunately.

"Whatever. I call dibs." Lucy laughs and you listen as they all argue over who gets to claim him. Lucy was known for sleeping around with the male counselors, rumors starting when she was 15. So she'd probably get him, she always got what she wanted.

The bickering comes to a halt when Trevor leads Eddie to the group of girls to introduce him. "Girls this is Eddie he'll be our newest Camp Leader. He’s going to be heading a guitar class.”

You watch the girls as they introduce themselves all basically throwing them selves at Eddie. You can’t help but roll your eyes at them only for your attention to be drawn back to Trevor when he calls on you.

“He says he’s goes to Hawkins, isn’t that where you go?” Your eyes move from Trevor to Eddie, who’s already staring at you.

“Yes it is.” You smile making eye contact with Eddie. You had never been this close before, his eyes were breathtaking. So much that you don’t hear Trevor’s words so he says your name again this time louder.

“Sorry what?” You ask face red giving your full attention to Trevor.

“I was saying maybe you could show him around.” You nod in agreement, eyes wondering to Eddie once again. He’s actively listening to Trevor explain whatever he’s explaining. You’re too busy admiring Eddie’s features up close to listen to the words. Only to be startled when he snaps his eyes towards you, smiling because he caught you staring at him.

“Oh I think I left your cabin key in the office. Follow me and I’ll grab it for you." Trevor says to Eddie before instructing you to stay put so Eddie can find you when they’re done. You nod yes before they leave you alone with the girls again.

“What the fuck was that?” Jessie laughs the question obviously directed at you.

“What?” You ask playing dumb.

“You we’re one second away from full on drooling.” She says, everyone’s eyes on you.

“Sorry he’s so pretty?” You say as a question.

“He was totally checking you out.” Lacey says while Lucy looks pissed.

"Does not matter I called dibs." Lucy snorts.

"You can't call dibs on a whole ass human." Jessie responds, her tone annoyed.

"Still doesn't matter not like he'd want anything to do with her." Lucy says like your not standing right there. Before you can respond for yourself Jessie speaks over you going off on her. Out of the corner of your eye you see Eddie let himself back into the room, the other girls entirely unaware. You make your way towards him leading back out the door he just came through.

“What was that about?” He asks, backpack and a sports bag in hand.

“Just Lucy be her usual terrible self. She’s kind of the worst.” You admit.

“She gives off that vibe.” He laughs, the two of you walking down the dirt walkway.

“We’ll you better be careful your her next victim.” He looks at you confused.

“She called dibs on you.” You further explain.

“Dibs on me?”

“She wants you. Thinks your so fine.” You laugh mocking her bitchy tone.

“I’m good.” He laughs.

“Good.” You say before asking which cabin he got stuck in.

“So what brings you to Camp Summer Haven? You’ve never gave off summer camp energy?” You ask, leading him to his cabin.

“Joey at the music store told me I could make extra cash this summer teaching kids to play guitar.” He explains.

“You’re getting paid?” You ask acting like your upset.

“You’re not?” He asks.

“No I’ve been going here since I was ten now I volunteer.” You explain.

“You don’t give off summer camp energy either.” He responds.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” You smile, walking ahead of him.

—

Eddie follows you around as you show him to his cabin. Where he unloads all his belongings while you sit outside waiting. After that you continue your tour highlighting all the most important places.

“This is the cafeteria. If you’re ever in need of a late night treat I can teach you how to sneak in through a window in the kitchen.” You motion to the window that sits above the sink, the lock has been broken for years. The camp too oblivious to notice.

“Is that an invite?” He asks.

“Perhaps. Promise you won’t say anything. If they find out the lock is broken I don’t think I could ever forgive you.” You tease, sort of joking.

“I promise.” He laughs.

“Good. The ice cream is to die for.”

—

After your tour is over you two head to the front gate to greet the kids. All the camp leaders and counselors are gathered. Trevor quickly approaches the two of you. The two of them start a conversation while you notice Lucy shooting you a dirty look. You slip away from them to find Jessie. She sits at a picnic table with other people so you join her. Mostly sitting in silence listening to everyone else talk.

Shortly after a couple busses filled with children start to show up. Once they’re all off and waiting, Trevor gives his pre camp speech. Letting the children know to get in a single file line so they can check in, turn their phones in and retrieve their cabin number. You end up with six younger girls. You introduce your self to them and they take turns introducing themselves as you all make the trek to Cabin 9.

“So where’s everyone from?” You ask trying to get to know the kids. They all speak at once, firing off their hometowns. Some of them look familiar from previous years, the oldest whose 15 lets you know she’s from Hawkins too. Her names Mandy.

“Hawkins? Do you go to Hawkins High cause I do and I think I don’t recognize you.” You admit.

“Probably cause your one of those stuck up cheerleaders. No you’re actually the queen of the stupid cheerleaders.” She retorts, her eyes rolling back into her head.

“Okay.. just gonna try my best to not get offended by that.” You laugh as an attempt to lighten to mood.

“Whatever.” She says, attitude apparent in her tone. She doesn’t respond again so you continue to converse with the other girls. Pointing out significant places to know while staying at Camp Summer Haven. Once you arrive to Cabin 9, you continue small talk. The clock on the cabin wall lets you know, it’s nearly time for the first get to together.

Everyone slowly shows up in the recreation center, sitting in circles taking turns saying their name, age and fact about themselves. Switching every five minutes as an attempt to have everyone get to know each other. You catch Eddie more than once staring. Or maybe he was catching you staring at him. Who knows?

“Everyone switch!” Trevor yells, so everyone listens. Your with Jessie’s group now, you quickly make you way to her. She leads the activity as you sit back and let her. The kids begin, one after another. You’re not paying any attention, too busy trying to see if Eddie’s back looking at you.

“Girl Lucy is fuming,” Jessie laughs.

“Why?”

“Because she’s trying to get Eddie’s attention but he’s too busy checking you out.” She says, pointing over to where Lucy is sat. Her annoyed face tells you everything you need to know.

“That’s a shame.” You tease, laughing.

—

Dinner rolls around and your group of girls follows you to the cafeteria where you all wait in line. You notice Eddie’s already here sat at a table. When he catches you he smiles and waves, you shoot him a shy smile. Confused why he’s got you feeling this way.

“Disgusting.” Mandy says to you, actually the first thing she’s said to you in hours.

“What?” You ask.

“The way your practically drooling over him.”

“I’m not.” You lie.

“You totally are.” Another girl chimes in, a few years younger than Mandy.

“It’s okay though, he’s so cute.” She adds causing the other girls into a fit of laughter. Only Mandy doesn’t laugh, rolling her eyes for the millionth time.

The line moves slowly but eventually you have your dinner. You follow the girls to where they want to sit, when in reality you kinda really want to sit near Eddie. Your too distracted following the young one ahead of you to notice, the leg that stretches out to trip you. You fall forward, your plate goes flying as you hit the ground with a loud thud. Silence falls over the room. You look up where the leg came from, it’s none other than Lucy. She’s sat there giggling, along with Lacey.

“You should really watch where your walking.” She snickers as you attempt to pick yourself up off the floor. Her plan backfires entirely because a pair of hands lead you up, your greeted by those chocolate brown eyes you haven’t stopped thinking about since you first seen them today.

“You good?” He asks as you get back on your feet, wiping away the dust that sticks to your shirt.

“I am now.” You say and it comes out more flirty than you had intended. Doesn’t matter because the smile that spreads across his lips makes it all worth it. He helps you clean up the mess Lucy created, walking to the trash can with you.

“Thanks for the help.”

“I saw her trip you.”

“That’s Lucy for you.” You respond, looking over to where she’s sat. Her eyes already on you, giving you the nastiest look.

“What did you do to make her feel the need to trip you?” He asks, bringing your attention back to him. You could either play dumb or tell him the exact truth.

“She’s jealous.” His face tells you he wants to know more.

“She thinks there’s something going on between us. She called dibs, remember?”

“Is there?” He asks, shocking you a tad.

“Maybe.” He nods his head, trying to rack his brain. How he came to some random summer camp only for Hawkins Highs Queen to be here, lowkey flirting with him.

“If there is, maybe you’d want to sit with me for dinner. Really stick it to her.” He teases, you bite your lip thinking. Trying to decide what you should do. If anyone from school knew you were throwing yourself at Eddie “The Freak” Munson it’d be social suicide. For the most part you want to believe that you don’t care what they think.

“Yeah let’s do that.” You respond finally.

“Let me grab another plate and then I’ll be there.” You add before leaving to replace the food that was wasted. Once you’ve done that, you race to Eddie’s table sitting right next to him. You smile at Lucy before letting yourself scoot closer to Eddie. He looks down at you with a smile before continuing his conversation with whoever.

“Really Eddie?” You recognize the voice, it’s Mandy.

“What?” He responds.

“You’re just gonna forgive her? She’s the queen of all the people that treat you like dog shit.”

“Mandy stop.” Eddie demands.

“No it’s bullshit.” Mandy yells before standing up and leaving the table.

“Sorry. She’s my cousin, when her mom found out I was working at this camp. She thought it’d be good for her. If you couldn’t tell she has some anger issues.” He explains.

“She’s right though, my friends are dick heads. I’m sorry.” You contemplate leaving, embarrassed.

“You’ve never been a dick. That’s all that matters.” Eddie says, giving you a reassuring smile. When you can’t come up with a response, he continues.

“You’ve been nothing but kind to me. If you promise not to judge me for what other people have to say about me. I promise to not judge you because of your stupid friends.” You sit momentarily, trying to take in everything he just said.

“Deal.” You respond, smiling. You two continue the conversation with small talk, nothing too deep. Eventually people sit around you guys, taking Eddie’s attention away from you. So you listen and watch Eddie intently when he talks, nodding every so often.

Dinner is over, you and Eddie walk out of the cafeteria. It’s nearly 9pm, time to call it quits for the day.

“So we sneaking in tonight to get some ice cream?” He asks, reminding you that you had offered that earlier in the day.

“Yes let’s meet by the window at 11. Usually by then it’s safe.” You smile before separating. Mandy and the girls follow shortly behind. They are not so quietly whispering about Eddie and you. How they ship the two of you, while Mandy disagrees. Bringing a small smile to your lips, shook that Eddie Munson is the one causing you to be so giddy.

—

11:10

“Where is that-“ You say aloud, getting interrupted and spooked all at the same time. Eddie is finally here.

“Hey,” he smiles, trying his best not to laugh at how he startled you.

“Sorry I’m late. Trevor showed up to my cabin, wanting to talk about tomorrow.” Eddie apologies.

“It’s fine, your here now.” You respond, pushing the window open. It was much easier when you were younger, to slip in. Now you had help because all of a sudden Eddie’s hands are guiding you in. In that moment your extremely grateful he can’t see your face. Realizing quickly your ass is not full display as you climb in. Once in, you jump with a thud off the counter. Turning to face Eddie who has no problem making his way through the window.

“It’s in here,” you speak, walking over to the freezer. Eddie shuts the window before following you. You pull out two ice cream sandwiches. Sitting down, letting your back slide down the wall in the process. You look up to Eddie who’s looking down at you with a smile. Handing the second ice cream sandwich over as his sits down next to you.

Eddie is the first to start eating, you follow his lead. There’s an borderline uncomfortable silence between you two as you realize you two are alone.

“This is some good ice cream.” Eddie speaks up, breaking the silence. You face him, watching him go to town on the ice cream. Bringing a small laugh to you. Before you can even get in a second bite, his is all gone.

“You got something on your face.” You point to the chocolate that sits on his upper lip.

“If this some sick ploy to kiss me, I won’t stop you.” He says with a smug grin.

“Damn I wish I thought of that.” You tease back, taking another bite of your ice cream.

“You convinced me to come to this secluded area, all alone. Dark as fuck. Either you want me or you want to murder me.” He says, your response is laughter. Laughing harder than you laughed in a while. Only stopping when you remember you’re not suppose to be in here.

“I’m gonna murder you actually.” You respond, flatly. Finishing off your ice cream as Eddie talks.

“Makes sense. Hot cheerleader seducing the schools freak for some sick murder ritual, sacrifice type shit.” He let’s out a defeated sigh, sitting back as if he’s ready to be murdered sending you into a fit out laughter again.

“I wasn’t joking though you got something right there.” You say before doing the unthinkable. Something you could of ever imagined yourself doing in a billion years. You close the space between the two of you, pressing your lips into his. Shock radiated through Eddie’s body, causing you to pull away feeling as if you did something bad.

“I’m sorry I thought-“ You apologize.

“No don’t apologize. I was not expecting that. You’re you and I’m me, that doesn’t happen. At least not to me.” He laughs, fixing his posture so he’s sat up.

“Well it did happen.” You say.

“Can it happen again? This time I’ll be ready.” He reassures you with that stupid little grin on his face. With a roll of your eyes, you go in for a second kiss. This time Eddie wastes no time kissing you back, hands finding the back of your head pulling you in deeper. The position isn’t the most comfortable so you hook your leg over the both of his, letting your self sit on him. Hid tongue reaches your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You let it in, your tongues fighting for dominance. His hands move to your hips, pushing you down on his growing boner. A sweet moan leaves your lips at the friction.

“Fuck,” Eddie groans, pulling away from your kiss to catch his breath. Also to attempt to wrap his mind around what happening, he’s in the process of hooking up with Hawkin High head cheerleader. What the actual fuck?

“What?” You asks innocently.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? What if we get caught?” He responds with another question.

“Not Eddie Munson worried about being caught.” You say, laughing still sat in his lap.

“I mean like I was specifically told to not fraternize with the camp volunteers. That’s exactly what this is.” He says, worry in his voice.

“But I want to fraternize with you.” You respond, biting your lip. Worried that maybe you miss read the situation.

“Fuck it,” he says before kissing you again. This time more forcefully, palming the meat of your thighs with his hands. You start grinding ever so slightly on the tent in Eddie’s shorts. The feeling of his hard member feel great between the thin clothes you two wear. Eddie is the one to pull away so he can speak.

“If you keep that up I’m gonna cum.” He admits, his voice breathy.

“Can’t have that yet.” You smile, temporarily backing away from Eddie. You pull at Eddie’s shorts, bring his boxers with them. He sits up quickly in a attempt to help you slide them off easier. Letting them rest at his ankles, you had every intention of riding him. You grasp his cock, pumping it slowly. Watching him squirm under you touch, you’re enjoying this way too much.

“Not fair, you’re not nearly as naked as me.” Eddie pouts his bottom lip. You laugh in response before pulling away from his dick, lifting you shirt up over your head. Eddie reaches around you to unbuckle you bra, watching intently as it falls exposing your tits. Eddie goes blank for a few moments just starting at the view presented in front of him. You shimmy out of your shorts. Your bare body on full display.

“You’re so fucking hot.” He manages to get out, lost for words. Still not believing whats happening right now.

“You can touch me ya know?” You laugh at the fact that’s he’s been sat here gawking at you when he could be touching the real deal. It’s like a light bulb goes off in his head, his brain finally catching up with his eyes. Reaching for you, pulling you back on top of him. His mouth finds you nipple, licking it softly causing a small moan leave your lips. You wet cunt rests on top of his cock, begging for some friction. The sound of your nipple leaving Eddie’s mouth makes a pop sound.

You lift your self up just enough to align his cock with your hole. Eddie watches in amazement as you slowly sit on his cock, letting him fill you up completely. The stretch hurts a bit but you’re taking him so good. His hands rest on your hips, waiting patiently for your next move. You start off slow, grinding on Eddie’s cock. Your hands are on his chest, he’s under you letting obscenities leave his mouth.

You’re pace picks up, Eddie’s hands guiding your hips faster. He starts bucking up into you, hitting you right where it feels the best. Moans continually leave your mouth, letting Eddie know just how good he’s making you feel.

“Get on you back.” He demands, his voice deep. You listen getting off of him and laying on the floor, using your bundle of clothes as a make shift pillow. Before you know it Eddie is between you legs, holding his cock to your entrance. He slams into you, wasting no time pounding into you a brutal pace.

“Play with yourself,” he says and it nearly comes out as a growl. You do exactly what he says, finding you clit with your fingers. Rushing circles around in. The mixture of his relentless pounding and the new clitoral stimulation is almost too much.

“Just like that.” He grunts, switching up his angle ever so slightly. This new angle is just what you needed because shortly after, you’re cumming. Your coming undone on his cock, he never slows only pumps into you harder. Not long before he’s pulling out and finishing on your belly, falling next to you. Both of you lay their in silence for a moment, breathing heavily.

“Fuck,” he says barley audible. You lazily nod in respond unable to respond with words. Eddie stands up throwing his clothes back on, finding something to wipe you clean with. He helps you put your clothing back on, placing a small kiss on your lips one last time.

—

The next day is filled with glances between Eddie and you, whispering to each other in passing. Promises to meet up that night. It turns into an almost nightly event, meeting up in the cafeteria to each ice cream and fuck. Your feelings quickly grow for him, his growing just a fast. The last day of camp ends with you two agreeing to go on a real date once back in Hawkins.

The rest of summer is spent avoiding your friends to be with Eddie in private. Occasionally inviting Mandy along so she can learn to like you, maybe one day. Just a few days ago she came over to watch a movie and didn’t roll her eyes when you spoke. Not even once. You considered that a sign of progress.

Your anxieties grow as the first day of your senior year approaches. Eddie can’t help but wonder what your going to do when school starts up again. Part of him terrified it’ll be the end of you two. You don’t want it to end but you worry what will happen if everyone found out you two were dating. In the end deciding your best bet is to invite Eddie to the last summer party of the year, it’s a annual tradition. The last Saturday before school starts everyone meets at the lake, gets drunk and makes fools of themselves.

“You sure you want to do this?” Eddie asks noticing your stress.

“Yeah I do.” You attempt to smile reassuringly, failing in the process. You two are sat in his van, the party is going on in front of you. It’s not too late to dip, no one’s noticed you yet.

“It’ll be okay.” You say, not believing your own words. Eddie hops out of the van before you can you get out, you hear the sound of a jock approaching the van.

“What the fuck are you doing here Munson?” You quickly hop out, approaching the two men. More basketball players appearing. Walking up behind Eddie, you intertwine your fingers tightly squeezing tightly.

“He’s here with me.” You respond, everyone looking at you like your crazy. Ignoring them you walk right past, Eddie follows behind you closely. Towards the bonfire you see some of your friends, they’re cheerleaders too.

“Hey…” Their voices trail off when they see who’s with you.

“Y’all know Eddie right? He’s my boyfriend.” You say, smiling softly. He waves to your friends, they’re unsure if they should believe this.

“Interesting duo.” One responds.

“How’d you meet?” Another asks, eyes full of judgement. You explain politely. Their faces tell you all you need to know. They don’t approve of your new relationship. No one brave enough to tell the head cheerleader. After a short time of small talk, you find a seat for you and Eddie near the fire.

“That wasn’t so bad.” He says. You lay you head on his shoulder, hand finding his.

“They’ll come around.” You smile.

“And if they don’t?”

“They will. They just need to get to know you, learn to appreciate you like I do.” You explain, kissing Eddie publicly for the first time. Not realizing in the moment that everyone’s eyes are on you two, whispering about the cheerleader dating the town freak.

[unnervinglyferal]

Saw a thing that made me think of you for some reason. Gonna paste the entire reddit post here rather than link it, because you need to read in real time for the funny:

"My (31M) wife (32F) and I are in a healthy and happy relationship. That said, we’ve been together since high school, so we both feel that we missed out a little by being each others’ only sexual experiences. We’ve talked about this at length and decided a few years ago that we’re ok with having a few hall passes in our relationship, since we very much intend to stay together the rest of our lives and don’t want any resentment over missed possibilites. Plus it’s pretty rare that we could even find such an opportunity, as it’s a little hard to find hookups when you’re in a committed marriage and don’t go out much. We even gave each other advance approval in case a situation arises, so long as we’re safe about it and tell each other immediately afterward. We’ve both used one HP, each with someone we knew well enough but would never see again, and no issues came out of it. In fact, it’s only made us more secure in our relationship and how much we genuinely appreciate being with each other.

Recently, I had to travel to London for work. I don’t normally get to travel for work, so I decided to make a trip out of it and spend a few extra days of my own time in the city after the project was done. My wife couldn’t join because she didn’t have any vacation time left but was very supportive of me taking some time to explore since I’ve never been to London and she has. Being cheap, and being a pretty outgoing guy when I’m so inclined, I decided to stay in a hostel. I was interested in meeting other travelers since I didn’t know anyone in the city and love being sociable with new people. I chatted with several of the people staying there, and in particular a very attractive French girl (mid-20’s) who dressed super goth.

For context, I love the goth girl look. I’ve been sucked into the goth gf propaganda online, much to the annoyance of my wife. It isn’t her style, but she has been nice enough to cater to me by putting on a sexy goth outfit on occasion, since she’s knows it’s a huge fantasy of mine. Still, I pester her constantly to be more goth because I enjoy it so much.

Anyway, I ended up spending a little bit of time with goth French baddie - we both went to the hostel’s happy hour event and hit it off there. I found out that she was recently single and was in London for an art show. It turned out we were both into emo music, and we talked about our favorite bands. I had the thought that she was acting a bit flirty towards me, but didn’t think too much of it, until I later found myself sharing a sink with her in the hostel bathroom.

The hostel was co-ed, so each floor had a small shared bathroom with a communal sink, and a door that was meant to be kept open but which people frequently closed for the sake of having more privacy than just a stall to shower in. So I’m brushing my teeth while chatting up the real-life version of Shadowheart (who, mind you, is wearing an extremely low cut top), when she suddenly closes the bathroom door behind us. In my mind, my wildest fantasy is about to come true. It’s even more exciting because of the adrenaline rush of being in a semi-public setting, and a girl being so into me that she would make such a bold move. I can’t believe this is actually happening to me. I instantly get hard. Then she turns around and asks “Are you interested in learning about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?”

She had me cornered for 10 minutes trying to talk me into salvation, while I grew increasingly despondent and immensely disappointed, with the whiplash of going from what could’ve been one of the crowning moments of my life, to pure and utter dejection.

When I told my wife this story, she laughed for a solid hour. She said it’s karma for annoying her about wanting a goth gf.

TL;DR life dream was to bang a hot goth girl. Thought I was getting the opportunity, but got cockblocked by Jesus Christ. god is real and he hates me."

The fucking mood whiplash. I was reading this nodding along like okay yeah I guess that could be us in like 10 or 15 years, who knows, neither me nor my girl are the jealous type or anything, and then it fucking struck. The christians have weaponized goth girls. Fucking lost it laughing, it's been a rough 24 hours, thank you.

[beezusvreeland]

a very good idea - chapter 1

summary: After your boyfriend cheats on you at a party, you break up with him, who tells you nobody else is willing to be with you like him. You decide to prove him wrong, with a little help from a new friend.

ship: miguel o'hara x f!reader

______________________________________________________________

Chapter 1

Everybody was looking at you. You were sure of it. As you walked to your locker monday morning, you started feeling dizzy as you felt several eyes full of pity focusing on you. You hated it. If it wasn’t for the english test in the second period, you would’ve already faked a disease in order to go home. 

Headphones playing “skinny dipping” by Sabrina Carpenter in your ears, you finally reached your locker. Usually Jessica would be waiting for you there, so you could walk to class together. Even though you loved her with your whole heart, you felt relieved. She knew you too well and although she would absolutely give you time and space if you needed it, you wouldn’t be able to pretend you were fine. Not with her.

Books in hand, you closed your locker and started walking toward history class. The hallways were almost empty at this point, which you were almost grateful for. The feeling went away instantly when you got closer to the classroom. You froze. Harry was leaning his back on the wall next to the door, looking at the screen of his phone, his other hand holding a box of chocolates.

As if sensing your presence, he looked up, his expression going from indifference to something that tried to be, but wasn’t quite sorrow. You wanted to disappear. You knew you would run into your ex some time during the day, but not so soon, he was always late to class. Always.

He took a few steps and got closer to you and said your name. It was like everything was happening in slow motion, you felt a jolt in your heart until the events of saturday started coming back to you. 

***

There was a party at Peter B.’s house. His aunt and uncle won a vacation to Miami in a radio contest and would be out of town for a week. You knew it because Peter told you himself when he invited you and Harry. Peter was nice and funny and you wished he and Harry were as close as they used to be. They were childhood friends, but when high school came around, Harry started walking with a different crowd and eventually Peter made new friends of his own.

Still, Peter B. never stopped trying to keep in touch with Harry, even if the effort was one sided. You felt so bad when Harry seemed uninterested in Peter’s stories or completely ignored his friend. When you started noticing that, you tried to compensate for your ex’s behavior, going out of your way to be kind and pay attention to Peter. 

Which was not hard at all, the kid had a heart of gold. He was one of the few who could circulate between all groups at school and have friends in all of them, from Mary Jane Watson in the theater department to kids like Miles Morales and Miguel O’Hara, who he was always with. 

It was your niece’s 3rd birthday on saturday night, so Harry went to Peter’s by himself and you were supposed to meet him later. Except, when you got there, everything was pure chaos. You took your phone out of your purse to text Harry and Jess, realizing it had been in airplane mode for some reason. Once you deactivated it, several notifications popped up, from texts to social media tags. Feeling uneasy, you searched for your chat with Harry first. Nothing new since you texted him a few hours before. You then clicked on Jessica’s avatar.

J: I’m here babe let me know when you arrive

J: where r u?? 

J: come already that chick gwen is gonna dj soon

she is always goooood

J: call me when you can

J: pick uppp please

J: u still at home? don’t think it’s a good idea for u to come here

You: i’m here 

You: jess whats happened

You: people are looking at me funny 

J: meet me in the kitchen

“Harry was making out with a random girl”, Jess told you, holding your hands on hers. “He didn’t even try to hide it, they were in the garden, a lot of people saw them.”

You open your mouth, but the words failed to come out. Just an hour before you were trying on outfits, trying to decide which one your boyfriend would like more on you, and then this. Jess held your hands tighter. 

“I’m so sorry, honey”, she said. “You deserve so much better than this…”

The two of you turned your heads, there were sounds of screams and things falling and breaking. 

“No no no no no, please stop, guys, please”, you heard Peter B. pleading. Your heart tugged at his desperation. 

People were joining the crowd, you and Jess followed. “What’s going on?”, she asked a guy next to them. “I think Osborn harassed the guy’s girlfriend or something”, he answered.

Standing on the tip of your toes, you saw Harry stumbling, clearly drunk or high, probably both, trying not to fall. “Fuck you, man, who do you think you are?”, he screamed at someone.

When you look at the other side, you couldn’t believe it. Of all people to fight with, Harry just had to mess with Miguel O’Hara, arguably the strongest guy from school. You met him in middle school and have taken several classes with him since. Miguel was known for keeping it to himself, but managed to have some close friends, like Gwen Stacy, Hobie Brown and Peter himself. He wasn’t anything like Harry and the other rich kids. Miguel would wear hoodies and basketball shirts, he was disorganized, always borrowing your pens during class, and every now and then would get in trouble. 

But fighting? It didn’t seem like his thing, in spite of his size and strength. He was staring at Harry, looking more serious than ever. 

“Huh? You think you are all that, motherfucker?”, Harry continued. 

“Oh, honey”, Jess looked at you, worried. Her hand wiped away a few tears from your face. You didn’t even realize you were crying. Since you arrived at that house, your life turned into a nightmare sequence. “That’s it, we’re leaving.”

As she put her arm around your shoulders, the same guy who told Jess what the fight was about screamed: “Yo, Osborn, you coward! Making your girl cry!”. 

More sounds from the crowd, your head spinning, heart breaking, you were feeling the tears now, they brought sobs too, how was that your life, why couldn’t you just wake up. Your eyes looked for Harry, he was steady, going in Miguel's direction. You looked at the latter. He was looking at you. His brown eyes wide, a crease on his forehead, mouth half parted. Somewhere in your head, you wondered if Harry had been able to hit him before you and Jess arrived. He looked like he was in a lot of pain.

Then a fist hit his face. Harry’s fist. 

Peter, Hobie and a couple of other guys held Harry, and the crowd started screaming, Jess pulled you back to the kitchen, in the direction of the back door entrance. 

You heard the music stopping and a voice, who sounded like Miles, on the microphone. “The party is over! Time to leave”, he said. People started booing him. “Y’all know my dad is a cop, right? Let’s give him a call, shall we?”

***

Harry got closer to you. Suddenly, his hand was on your cheek. 

“Honey…”, he whispered.

How could a gesture you used to love trigger the alarms in your head? Instinctively, you took a step back. 

“Harry.”

“No, hun, come on…”

“Harry.”

“Is this about the fight? If it is, you should k…”

“Harry, just listen, ok?”, you had planned so many scenarios in your head, yet, this was just coming to you naturally. “I know you cheated on me with a freshman.”

“Who told you that? It’s a bunch of l…”

“Jessica saw it. So many people saw it. Strangers were sending me pictures and videos of my boyfriend with someone else.”

“Honey…It wasn’t like that, I wasn’t thinking…”

“So, if I’m not right by your side, it’s like I don’t exist, right? You can do whatever you want”, you took a long breath. You were really doing this: “It’s over”.

“What do you mean it’s over? You’re giving up, just like this?”

“You gave me up when you kissed someone”, you let a sad chuckle out. “Not to mention the fight…I just can’t.”

“So you’re really ending this?”

“Yes.”

“You know there is no turning back, right?”, Harry had his hands on his hips, which, knowing him, meant he was pissed off. 

You nodded.

“Well, I hope you really thought this through because no one is going to accept dealing with all your bullshit like I do.”

“My bullshit?”, you gasped.

“Anxiety, depression, all that bullshit”, he pointed at you. “The whole good girl act…only I know what you are really like. No one is going to want you.”

You just looked at him. You felt sad, confused and so angry. Because, although you knew it was a provocation, he did mention your worst fears. Being too much, ending up alone, unloved — you had been there. 

What Harry didn’t consider is that you might have your insecurities, but you are also competitive and have a lot of pride. If hurting is what he wants, two can play this game. So you just stare at him with your arms crossed. 

“Ms, class has already started”, your history teacher, Mr. Bloom, opened the classroom’s door and called you. He must have sensed there was something wrong, you have always been an A+ student and a great kid. The truth is you didn’t even realize how much time had passed.

“Yes, sir”, you walked around Harry and entered the classroom.

***

You arrived right on time for english class. Entering the room after a few classmates, you noticed the teacher, Mrs. White, was standing up, talking quietly with a student. She had a motherly aura, like she is irritated, but worried most of all. 

“I’m sorry, but if you don’t apply yourself and get better grades, I can’t help you”, she said. 

“I just don’t get it”, the student said. “Numbers…they come so easy to me, words, not so much.”

“We’re going to figure this out. Now go sit.”

Already at your desk, you saw when he turned. Miguel O’Hara. His cheek was a little swollen with a purple mark, a small token of Harry’s actions. You looked at him, but he did not look back at you, staring ahead and sitting in the back. 

Then it dawned on you. An idea. A very good one.

>> chapter 2

all chapters

______________________________________________________________

a very good idea soundtrack

[thesakuragarnet]

PHOENIX AU: Fun Facts

hey y’all, sorry for being MIA. I got sick when I went on vacation but I’m home now! No idea how frequently I will be posting but I will be spending the next several months forcing myself to write so yeehaw. Anyway here’s some PHOENIX fun facts about some characters from my fanfiction lifeblood (PHOENIX: A Pro Hero Toya Todoroki AU) that I posted on my Instagram @the_sakura_garnet a while back

(includes some references to BNHA OC's that I have that are in PHOENIX and it's prequel)

MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

PHOENIX AU Toya Todoroki Fun Facts

Miyuki Sero made a bet with him during their second year involving Everclear, and it's the closest Toya's ever come to getting alcohol poisoning. Miss Kaminari forced him to clean the common room for two months as punishment

He can do the entire Ludacris rap in "Baby" by Justin Bieber

Has only cried a handful of times because of movies. Most of those times have been movies he's watched with his sister. But he'll never admit it

He and Natsuo crashed a sled into their father's car one winter, and proceeded to blame five year old Shoto for it...who was inside...with Enji...the entire time.

He has keyed the cars of all his sister's exes

PHOENIX AU Keigo Takami Fun Facts

Has sponsors from literally every place that sells chicken, but KFC is his place of choice

For one of their first dates, Keigo forced Toya to come along on a search for the "perfect chicken tender" where they ordered from every place and they ranked all of them. Led to a lot of arguments that left both of them crying from laughing so hard about how passionate the other was about their opinion

He owns several matching/complementing outfits with Rumi from their shopping spree days at the academy, and some of them are dresses

If he has the AUX there will be Broadway tunes, Harry Styles, Taylor Swift, or classic rock ONLY. With minimal exceptions

He's always playing "I Wanna Party" from Rio unironically when he's getting ready in the morning and has developed a whole song and dance routine to it. occasionally, Toya will do the second verse if he's awake and Rue will do the female vocals. There have been several early dance parties at the PHOENIX Agency, and it's a pain for collaborating heroes when they have to travel team-up for missions

PHOENIX AU Rumi Usagiyama Fun Facts

She's a black belt in taekwondo, judo, Krav Maga, and generally kicking ass (BONUS: She has a trophy that says "best at kicking ass" that Toya had made for her as a birthday gift)

She feels guilty for being cold and mean to Toya for so long before they became friends, but she doesn't know how to approach him about it (even though he's left that all behind and doesn't hold it against her)

Her favorite workout playlist artists are Nicki Minaj, Doja Cat, and Megan Thee Stallion

Midnight helped her come to terms with her sexuality with her confidence and unapologetic expression

She's double-jointed, has never taken a steroid (contrary to popular belief in the tabloids), and prides herself on being healthy

PHOENIX AU Ryuko Tatsuma Fun Facts

Her mother used to make her do beauty pageants/contests, and she would win flawlessly every time

She was born into a very wealthy family, but ironically didn't let her riches go to her head until reaching fame

During school, she occasionally ate edibles to calm her nerves as she would obsess over her grades, which is why her parties always had them

She constantly showers Rumi with extravagant gifts, but Rumi considers Ryuko the greatest gift of all

(Not so fun fact and SPOILER) she left Rumi for Uwabami when she dumped her in Chapter 40

PHOENIX AU Shinji Nishiya Fun facts

During their entire first year, Shinji was absolutely terrified of Toya because of their Quirk incompatibility (fire and wood don't mix)

He secretly had a slight crush on Rumi for a couple years, which is another reason why Yu never liked Rumi

He and Amari used to make conspiracy boards in the common room whenever they got high

He has acted as a getaway driver for a number of Toya's antics (he's the only person that doesn't make Toya carsick when he drives)

He scored the highest in Hero/Civilian/Villain Psychology during their Second and Third Years

[dennisprager]

fuck it we ball

heres a gravity falls fanfic

i actually write a lot of things, but never share them. a lot are just unfinished projects, but a lot are also fanfics. i can't post them because theyre entrenched in layers of headcanons and disregard of the source material that makes them unreadably confusing unless i censor the names to make a clean slate for the context. theyre also often otherwise bizarre, offensive and deeply personal because i only write them for myself.

this is the first thing i've written thats clean enough and close enough to the source material that i can actually post it. theres a few differences but you'll figure those out. also you don't have to have watched the show to enjoy it.

-------------------------------------

"Aaaaand... a New Yorker." she spoke into the house phone, twiddling and curling a strand of her autumn hair like it was the cord.

"With stuffed crust." Dipper whispered, with a tug at her green tartan pyjama bottoms.

"With stuffed crust." she smiled.

Some crusty, crackling, deep and high-passed voice came through the speaker, which was just as incomprehensible as the squeaking in cartoons, though a vague monotone lethargy and world-weariness in speech crossed the interference.

"Yeah, mozzarella." she confirmed, fixing her hair to look down at a sticky note and tapping a ballpoint.

Wendy went on with the order, leaning on the kitchen counter in a typically cool way, eyes switching from the note to the night-black view outside. Dipper, secure now that the crust had been stuffed, slipped on some too-large slippers and padded out through a rusted fly-screened door into the backyard.

There was a certain buzz in the smokey summer night air; that fresh country air that hadn't greeted him in a year. Most would call it 'the flies'. But him, and his older friend, certainly felt it.

To him, the feeling of a warm, familiar place, galaxies away from science projects, Gamecube curfews and beating white Burbank heat. A place and a person where he could shoot the shit with when he usually had to shoot the poop, and the gun had to have a little plastic red tip on the end. And would get confiscated anyway.

Yet the same place was elusive, like the memory of an earlier childhood vacation. On the pitch-black night, in it's valley below, the stars of distant street lights cutting through the redwoods was a sight usually too good to be true; the warm wind brushing his hair and wetting his eyes too long ago to be felt. In his previous, and first, stay in Oregon, by the time it was over and he had to leave, it felt like a Monday alarm ending a sweet dream.

Yet here he was. For six whole weeks, with no want to waste even a moment of them this time. He grinned, and paced the trodden grass of the yard.

And right now, for this night and at least several others, it just was him and Wendy. Even his sister was back at the cabin, whom he obviously and dearly enjoyed the company of in a different way, but he wasn't in a rush to meet the clique she'd made last year and had been foaming at her mouth to talk to in-person again. They were off having their own sleepover, doing 'girl' sleepover things like tittering and painting nails and going to bed at reasonable hours. Their sleepover would be way cooler. They were gonna watch peak cinema and drink roo' beers. Cos they were dudes.

Or at least he was. Or at least would be, in two years, if you count teenagehood as the threshold for dudedom. Mere technicalities, he thought.

Only a few paces later, the excitement had him jogging laps, jogging into the darkness and crickets of the open yard's far-end, revealing more of the twinkling town lining the forms of the sheer cliffs, then slinging around a stump back towards the orange glow of the oval moth-gathered wall-lamp and the silhouetted window of the log house.

Starting with middle school he'd been increasingly more conscious about 'kid' things like breaking into running randomly, but he didn't care around Wendy. Seventeen was too old to be jeering at someone having fun like a snotty 9th grader would, and regardless of age, that was neither her nature, nor the nature of their kinda-friend-kinda-bigsister-kinda-carer relationship. She always just went with the flow and let him be him, joining in with whatever eleven year old fancies he or his sister were taken by.

She was watching him and smiling, leaning on the door frame with one arm crossed, the other tentatively swigging a skunked heineken. Her height and a summer-job clerk that didn't know her got her past IDs, though with this bottle she was wishing she'd just cracked a can of pepsi instead.

Dipper came to the end of a lap and was in her earshot.

"You yoinked my slippers, ya scoundrel."

He slowed, then started walking to the door.

"Oh, they're yours?" as if he couldn't tell by them almost falling off with each step, and as if she wasn't joking and minded.

"Yeah, so hands off."

"I wouldn't wear em on my hands, that'd be gross."

She huffed amused.

The tall girl stepped aside to let him through the door, and ruffled his hair as he passed. The wide wind and crickets softened to a muffle after the door shut, leaving only a fluorescent hum. They took a seat on two stools, made of the same saturated wood as the entire room barring the dark floor tiles.

"Thirty minutes for the food. You got cash, right, dip?"

"Wait, what? No?"

She gave a long, dramatic gasp.

"No pizza, then." she glumly accepted, slouching a cheek onto her loose white sleeves.

"...you're such a liar." he giggled.

She flicked 'maybe' with her eyes and a growing grin.

"Wanna uhh... go pick the movie while we're waiting?" she asked with a smile as dorkish and eager as his glowing through the mellow teenage exterior.

His two nods practically shook the stool.

"Then coooom'on." standing up with a lean and waving a hand to follow.

She clicked the kitchen light off before they passed through the frame into the sparsely decorated hall.

On the left of the hall, she turned the handle of a heavy oak door, leading into a cooler, unlit room. Light from the hall teased a slice of it's form, until the heavy door shut.

For a moment there was black.

A click, and a tacky white lightbulb flooded the silent room with crisp, specular clarity and colour.

Before them over a wood railing, beneath them by four shallow steps; the TV room, which for all intents and purposes was hers. A wide, top of the line (for 1996) Sony Trinitron and VCR atop a stand lay centre in the far end, flanked by two bookshelves crammed with a part-timer funded tape collection that was no Victorville Archive but was nothing to scoff at either. A red shaggy rug divided the TV from the puffy leather sofa (WITH A PULLOUT BED!) cornered by the steps, thats back had a plaid blanket laid over like a 'murican antimacassar, and several more making fluffy heaps by the armrests.

The room had a certain smell and feeling to the air that only a visitor would notice, and with the blackout curtains closed, felt like a little pocket dimension of take-out and tapes. If not for the inviting carmine carpet, it might have felt like a mancave.

The wood of the four steps made anechoic creaks as they descended and turned the corner, taking them to the left of the sofa.

Wendy knelt down in front of the TV with a grunt.

"Can I do it?" Dipper asked, kneeling beside.

"Hm? Oh, sure."

She shuffled over and instead started perusing for stuff to watch.

Yellow for video slid into the socket with a thump then a click, then red for right channel, then white for left channel, and power.

'VIDEO' filled near a quarter of the screen as a commendation.

He was old enough to know rationally that it required about as much expertise as a fisher-price puzzle, but felt like a technician regardless. The subtle hum of the screen broke the chill of the silence.

"Alrighty..." she sighed blissfully, taking a cross-legged seat with the neck of the bottle in one hand.

"What are we thinkin, lil dude?"

He swayed in thought. A select few tapes on the TV stand caught his attention.

"What are these?"

"Those are..." grunting while scooting her butt across. "My favourites."

"The cream de le cream, as the french say." quietly, close to his shoulder.

"Is Pink Floyd french?" he asked, holding a creased sleeve depicting a screaming man he assumed was the eponymous 'Watl', whatever that was.

"No-ho-ho, he's, uh." laughing. "He's from easter island, I think." dryly, taking a sip.

It looked like kind of a horror movie.

"Is it any good?"

"Oh, it's amazing." she breathed, leaning back. "It's basically a musical of one the best albums, Ever." pinching for emphasis.

Dippers eyes grew wider with anticipation. He knew her well enough and had seen her bash enough snares that he knew it wasn't gonna be the Mary Poppins kind.

"But, uh." she scratched her neck. "It's not like a movie night kinda movie, if you know what I mean." splaying a hand towards him, then dropping it on her knee.

"Oh." He knew that, too. It either meant some weird artsy thing or 'horror' in the kind of way that wasn't fun.

"Well, what about this one?"

The boxes clacked as he put one back and took out another. He held up 'Full Metal Jacket', which wasn't much better.

"Mmmm..." she considered. "Still kind of a downer. You'd like the first half, but I think, uh, after that you wouldn't care."

"But it's like a war movie? Those are fun, right?"

She snickered. "Yeah. About Vietnam, you dork; it ain't Rambo. That shit was definitely not fun."

"Why, were you there?" wryly.

A gleam of mischief flashed in the corner of her mouth.

"Uhhh. Ya." like it was obvious.

"Wait, really?"

She squinted and started in a gruff, chiselled voice. "Oh yeah. Musta mowed down a hundred * in that platoon...", taking a deep and hard swig that she privately regretted once the aftertaste kicked.

"Shhhhudddup!" he laughed, as much at himself for even humouring the possibility for half a second.

She chuckled and set the drink down, but suddenly her eyes shot open and she looked flustered. "Oh, don't repeat that!" hurriedly, reaching out a hand and covering her mouth with the other. "Don't repeat that, that's not a word you can use!" rushing the words out and starting to chortle. "That-that's the beer talking. You'll get in BIG trouble if you say that."

"Yeah, I know."

Her eyebrows flicked in surprise for a moment as if asking 'how!?'.

"Well- I mean, I didn't know. But I don't repeat stuff you say, I mean."

"Ohh, right." she settled with a last giggle.

She swallowed. "Anyway." raising her hands with closed eyes. "I don't think that ones a good choice."

Dipper clicked his tongue in thought.

"Got any good spooky stuff?"

"Oh, dude, do I."

She stood up, and walked over to the shelves on the right. She looked back with a smirk and raised a finger saying 'observe' this shit that's about to blow your mind. The boy shuffled and crossed his arms with a smile awaiting the goods.

The shelf had a larger slot at the bottom that could fit various boxes, some of cardboard, and this one of plastic, labelled with scratched paper and pen marker declaring 'HORROR'.

He bit his lip envisioning the kind of messed up things that must be in there; the sorts of revolting scenes an erudite of the genre six years older than him wouldn't flinch at.

The box simply slid out when she grabbed it by the lip, but somehow it felt like she'd gone down a dark passage and blew dust off it with an oil lantern in one hand and a cursed, ornate key in the other.

He kept wondering. Serial killers, flaying, butthole stuff, genocide, torture, probably poop involved somewhere. All kinds of crazy shenanigans.

She knelt, and slapped the lid of the box with both hands, before sliding it off to reveal the contents. Which would have been a little more theatrical if the box wasn't translucent.

He gazed into the pit of tapes.

"Pick yer poison, dipperoni." steepling, with an ominous voice.

'Halloween', 'IT', 'The Return of the Living Dead', 'Hostel', she hissed and snatched at the CD.

"Exceptthatone!"

She really, really, really needed to sort the 'funny monster gibs 80's teenagers' movies from the 'people actually getting tortured' movies.

Wendy noticed Dipper look a little less sure about watching a horror movie.

"Uhh, just... just pick any. And I'll let you know if it's okay. Mmkay?"

He nodded and continued looking.

"I wouldn't let you watch anything that'd make you, like, upset. Don't worry."

"I know..." he whispered warmly.

She pinched his cheek.

Several cases toppled and clacked the plastic as he pulled one out. "This one looks... interesting."

'CRITTERS II: THE MAIN COURSE'

"Oh, that movie fuckin' rocks." she laughed. "It sucks, but it fuckin' rocks."

"Heh heh~ What's it about?"

"It's like dollar store Gremlins."

The corny ass Dreamworks face of the monster on the cover seemed to infect him more with a breathy laughter by the second.

"I-hi-hi, I think I'll pass on dollar store Gremlins."

"Hm hm, oo-kay."

Wendy had taken to flipping through some of the covers herself; it had been a while. She huffed a single laugh thinking about Christopher Lee in Howling II, hummed fondly thinking of the first time watching Little Shop of Horrors as a girl, and remembered snatching Maniac Cop 2 on discount as soon as she saw it in Blockbusters just so she could rip 'Children of the Night', which she just now noticed herself singing under her breath unbidden, then soon after 'Alone in the Night' by Leatherwolf and 'Darkest Side of the Night' by Metropolis and a few other 'the Night's.

"This summer... the ball is back" Dipper giggled, reading the tagline of Phantasm II. "What's this one?" holding it up.

"That's dollar store Evil Dead."

"Huh? Never heard of that."

"D-" she jolted.

"Dude."

For a second she thought it inconceivable that an eleven year old wouldn't know an almost two decade old movie.

"That's the one. That's what we're watching, Evil Dead II." immediately rooting for it then holding it up, rapping the side of the case with a bit lip like 'this is the shit right here'. The only reason it wasn't on her 'favourites' shelf was because it wasn't as rewatchable as films with more substance.

"Is it like, 'scary' scary?" with mild trepidation, his eyes following as she moved to the stand.

"It's, umm..." fixing her hair and looking up to think "not ''scary' scary' scary, but it might be scary for a kid. Don't worry, though, it's a blast. You'll love it." raising a finger to reassure while Dipper tried to figure out the nested 'scary's.

"Mmmmm... okay." he agreed enthusiastically.

She slapped it on top of the VCR. Dipper had no frame of reference, so trusted her taste and better judgement, with a simmering excitement to find out what it was.

"I'm gonna go get a drink." she sighed as she stood. "This tastes like dick and ass." half-muttered, wiggling the quarter empty bottle.

"Alright." he said while crashing on the sofa.

She made to the steps, then looked back. "Want anything?"

He'd downed a pepsi just an hour before when they came back from the town. "Not yet, thanks."

"Mkay." continuing up.

For a moment. she looked at him nestled by the armrest again. She moved over the railing and hummed lovingly. Dipper looked up to her leaning over.

"You get nice n' cosy." quietly, reaching down to pull a blanket over. "I'll go fetch yer teddies, too." booping his nose with a dimpled smile.

His backpack in the kitchen had a notebook, a pencil, a few cans, a copy of 'Passport to Magonia', and a selection of his plushies. If anyone else had (correctly) assumed he wanted them, he would have gone on masculinity red alert, but here he only returned the smile.

The light went off, with the hall door left open, leaving the well-loved beige bouclé that enveloped him lit softly blue by the static hearth. They'd lie down and just talk in the quiet for a good half-hour before the food came, or maybe see whatever shitty network sitcom was on at this hour while they waited. He sighed dreamily.

[teplavecernice]

i have grown up in a similar situation although different and much less extreme. my mum is in the lower half of middle class, but my dad is at least upper middle class (we do not know the full extend of his wealth). in their marriage they had separate finances and one joint account to cover household expenses to which they would contribute equally - at least in theory. in reality my father would continue to give the same amount of money even amidst inflation (this includes the 2008 crisis) and slowly slowly his contribution wouldn't even cover his own share of expenses and my mum had to reach into her own savings to keep the household running. in regards to day to day expenses (grocery shopping, clothes, toys, school supplies etc.) i had basically the same experience as if i was raised by a single mother.

all while my father made several times more money than her that he was just pocketing/spending on things for his own enjoyment. those things included family vacations several times a year (among his solo vacations that were about just as frequent and up to a month long, and during the time he spent on those vacations and often even after he would not contribute a dime bcs he had too many "expenses" - those times were the hardest financially). those family vacations were very costly but at the same he would look for any way to spend as little as possible on us (me, my mum and our pets). this included things such as buying rotten food bcs it was cheaper or not buying me (a small child) water when i was thirsty in over 30 degrees weather bcs it was "too expensive". all while he got to enjoy all the luxury he wanted. after those family vacations he would also refuse to contribute any money for running the household. and let me be clear - he was making insane amounts of money whether he was on vacation or not, he actually barely went to work ever (he would work 2-5 hour days how many or little days a week he wanted to and it would not affect his income).

he also pushed me to go to private school (which i would attend for 8 years) that he promised to pay for - he payed for the first 2 semesters, was late on payment on the 3rd one and when he didn't pay for the 4th one i was faced with the threat of being expelled. my mum ended up having to take from her own savings so i could stay in the school he wanted me to go to. that school tuition continued to be a major burden on our family for the next years and was one of the reasons i decided to drop out and complete my high school education at a different school in a long-distance program.

and i don't even wanna bring all of his emotional and mental abuse into this, this tirade is long enough as is. just know that everything i have described here and also everything else he would twist into either him being the victim or it somehow being the fault of either me or my mum.

so yeah, the description of being an exotic pet feels fitting. i was an exotic pet for him and my mum was the animal handler.

thankfully since my parents divorce there is the threat of legal investigation into his finances (which would for sure put him behind bars) looming over him if he doesn't pay alimony so he's been paying like clockwork. that money has allowed me to support myself in uni while also taking care of my mental and physical health. so i do recognize and see that my position is still very much privileged in certain aspects, but ever since i was little i lived in a world of dual class - half of my experiences, especially day-to-day life was pretty much lower middle class; the other half was very much upper middle class. and it is really confusing for a lot of people including me sometimes that i did grow up in a large suburban home and went on several vacations a year but at the same time sometimes we would have to cut down on our grocery expenses to get by and i would often have to wear clothes that i grew out of.

As a kid, when your parents are poor, you're poor. If they don't have money, that means none of you have money. But if someone's parents are rich, that doesn't necessarily mean the kid is. Sometimes rich peoples' kids aren't rich kids, they're just some rich freak's exotic pets that can talk but aren't allowed to.

[alyosiuscreightonward]

I saw this and thought, “Yo. What the absolute fuck are you talking about??!!”

If your heart is breaking just because of this meme, then maybe you should go ahead and swallow a fucking bandaid.

Please let me enlighten you about how shit happens. Some people are destined and some are not.

As an example, I have this coffee mug that is supposed to remind me that as a Scorpion, I’m Brave, Focused and Balanced. I call bullshit and to further elucidate on the subject, you have no fucking clue.

Yes, I’m brave enough to admit that I’ve got mental health issues and I’m on a first name basis with ALL of my neuroses. I’m focused enough to get through it somehow. I’m also balanced enough to have my manic phases and not to let the world know that I’m having suicidal ideations. Oh, yeah. That just touches you and you feel like some kind of way about it.

It’s not because of my childhood traumas, nope. That shit I can deal with and have. It’s more of my adult life and the traumas I’ve experienced.

During my years going to school, I knew I was not the one. I had crushes on several people but I knew that if I bought them a Rolex, they wouldn’t give me the time of day. Same thing happened in high school, but 40+ years later, I still have my heart broken for one guy. As a Taurus, he feels that me having feelings for him is inconceivable and he screams, “I’m not GAY!!” Dude. I never wanted sex. Never. To this day, he still believes that two men just holding each other in an embrace is an abomination.

Then along came my first boyfriend, a Leo. He did at one point did love me but it was always on his terms and if I didn’t adhere to that then he’d just dump all over me. My 2nd boyfriend, I’m not sure what sign of the zodiac he was but he was so good to me and if I hadn’t moved, he’d be in my life. We went our separate ways. Then after him, years later I found myself ensconced in the arms of a Gemini who had literally chased after me. I let a year or so go by before I had a date with him.

This specific Gemini led me to believe that I was the only one. It was so much for me to actually move to FLA to be with him. It was good for a while. In the throes of passion, he slapped me on the ass. I spun around and almost clocked him. I said no to that. I said that I had been beaten by my parents and when they did it they were either drunk or clearly on their way to being sloshed. They’d be black out drunk and they wouldn’t remember that they had beaten me for whatever imaginary reason.

My 3rd boyfriend and I were going well in our relationship but I learned that he had personal hygiene issues. He’d wear the same clothes for I don’t know how long and he wouldn’t even brush his teeth. It then turned into a nightmare. He was away for about a month before he dumped me.

The back story is that he wanted me to be both Ozzie and Harriet. I was to go to work and bring home the bacon and the instant I got home, I was to put on my Harriet bonnet and start cooking dinner because he was hungry. I had barely enough time to take off my suit and tie before he started to say shit. I had to apologize to him because being on SSDI and home doing absolutely nothing, I needed to genuflect for being allowed to be in that space with him. Anyway, he was gone and on vacation. I was struggling to pay all the bills for the household. I apparently didn’t pay the cable bill for whatever reason. So now he had been home for a week or so by now and then in the middle of The Sopranos season finale, the cable got shut off. I clearly remember him calling the cable company and paying the bill. I thought it was just a bump in the road and we’d move on from that now. WRONG!!!

Two days later he came to me and told me that we were done. He granted me permission to stay in the house and save money so I could get the fuck out of his life and never to return. I learned later that I was the cause for all of his pain and suffering. Excuse me?!?! I could not have plotted against him to the point where he had to get a pacemaker for his atrial fibrillation. I didn’t know that I had that kind of power over him.

This was back in 2002. I moved back home to be closer to my mother who had just retired. When she passed, I moved again to The ATX.

A few other things happened during that time period and my best friend had then moved to The ATX to be with me. After 38 years of being friends, we got married and then more shit happened. He too had passed but we had 43 years together in the end.

Today it’s 2024 and I’ve been alone since. My husband and I truly loved each other but we both agreed not to consummate our relationship. He was too much and I am a prude. He’d open up the store and give the goods away. Me, I need more time before I would wear my ankles for earrings.

So between 2002 and now, I’ve had a dalliance but I’ve been alone. I’ve told people that if their former partner is in need of help or a hug, they could let me know. I was greeted with, “They don’t have any desire…” I had to reiterate that if that person was in need, I’d be more than happy but I have no desire or need for that. Uh…apparently they hadn’t heard lyrics…”I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.” Boundaries motherfucker.

Y’all need to get a grip and stop trying to make shit happen. If was destined to become reality, then let it happen organically and don’t force it. Recently I told someone that I had feelings and that after 20 years of hiding them from the world, I could feel them. As usual it ends in disaster and disappointment and that’s all on me. So please don’t. I’m going to die alone and I’m okay with that.

[eldritchsurveys]

1200.

Are you an only child? >> I was raised like one, since my half-siblings were all decades older than me.

When was the last time you were sick? >> Monday-Tuesday. Fascinating how I've already been sick twice this year, when usually I am sick no times a year.

Do you like the color pink? >> I love the colour pink.

Do you take vitamins? >> I do not.

Where was your last kiss? .

Did/do you like high school? >> I enjoyed almost nothing about high school. What are you wearing? >> Black undershirt, Stitch lounge pants.

What health problems run in your family? .

How old will you be in 5 years? >> 41. Where did you last go on vacation? >> Vacations are not a thing for my household, we're in a low income bracket. The last time we went somewhere for a little trip, though, was in April -- Indianapolis, for the Dethklok show. Almost all of that was funded by Sparrow's mother, as usual.

Ever have an eating disorder? >> No.

What sports do you play? . What quality is most important in a person? .

Who’s your bf/gf? . What’s your favorite Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? . Do you usually wear your hair up or down? .

What TV show do you watch the most? >> I'm always watching several TV shows at a time, but I don't know how to quantify which one I am watching "the most".

Do you have a cat? >> I don’t. Sparrow does.

Do you like polka dots? >> I do not.

Have you ever been to Paris? >> I have not.

How do you feel lately? >> Hungry. Deeply, maddeningly hungry. One day I'll be able to actually eat food again...

Have you ever had surgery? >> I have not. Like any reality shows? >> I am not currently watching any, but there are some I enjoy.

What color do you dye your hair? .

What are you best at? .

What are you worst at? .

Do you like men in suits? >> I like some suits. As long as they're not American fit, basically -- I hate that boxy look.

What’s your favorite season? >> It's summer when I live in a colder region (like here) and spring otherwise, I suppose.

Did you drink last New Year’s? >> I did not. I don't do anything on New Year's anymore, I just go to bed like normal.

Did you like The Passion of the Christ? >> I have not seen it.

Which of the seven deadly sins fits you the best? >> Pride, I suppose. What do people compliment you the most on? .

Is your house two stories? >> It is. We occupy the ground floor.

Do you like Carlos Mencia? >> Haven't heard that name in ages. Am not interested in revisiting his work, though.

What word or phrase annoys you the most? >> For some reason I have a strong aversion to the word "wholesome". I just hate everything about it.

Did it rain today? >> It did not.

What did you eat for lunch? >> I didn't eat lunch because I can barely eat anything at all. I just had a bunch of crackers throughout the day. Oh, and an applesauce pouch and some unadorned toast, you know... for variety... *mimes shooting myself* Do you go hunting? >> I do not.

Have you ever wanted to be a ballerina? >> I have not.

Are you in a band? >> I am not. Where did you last have sex? >> Inworld.

Did you ever want to be an astronaut? >> I did want this, once. The only reason I stopped wanting it is because space travel in its current state is wildly inaccessible to me no matter which way you cut it.

Who was the last person to ‘give you butterflies?’ .

What book are you currently reading? >> A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K. Hamilton. <3

What’s the last party you attended? >> A child's birthday party. Do you wear a lot of black? >> I do. Not as much as we used to, but still a majority amount.

Do you have your own computer? >> I have two, in fact. It astounds me too. Have you ever had fake nails? >> I have, and I don't favour it. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? >> Whoof... The Blackening, almost a whole ass year ago. I'm really hoping to get to see Furiosa, because this streak has got to end.

What movie do you want to see? >> Furiosa.

Are you trick or treating this year? >> I have never done this.

What month were you born in? >> May.

Whats your birthstone? >> Emerald. I think.

Do you like where you live? >> Not especially. If I think about where I live for too long I start to feel like I'm falling into an abyss.

Where do you work? >> I don’t. If you could kill someone, how would you do it? >> I'm inclined towards intimate, visceral methods. Stabbing is so intensely euphemistic that I think that's probably the method I'd favour most. But there are some really inventive ways to kill people, I wouldn't want to limit myself.

Are women complicated? >> Everyone's complicated, bitch, let's get you some fruit.

Do you put the lid back on the toothpaste? >> I do. I didn't even realise anyone doesn't. How long have you known your best friend? .

What’s something people criticize you the most for? .

Do you get along better with your mom or dad? . Do you read classic literature? >> I'm sure some of the books I've enjoyed could be considered "classics".

Could you be a hermit? >> I don't think so. The way society and the economy is structured constantly makes me feel like I don't have a place in it and that I should live apart from it, sure, but unfortunately I would die if I had to live completely on my own.

Are you religious? >> I am. Not quite in the way that people mean when they ask this, but I am.

Why did your last relationship end? . Who do you trust the most? >> Can Calah.

What site do you visit the most? >> This week, it's been YouTube. I've watched so many YouTube videos just because I haven't had the energy to do much else.

Do you have a Deviant Art account? >> I have three of them. Two of them are defunct (I probably couldn't even get back into them if I tried), and the most recent one is just so I can look at Mature Content or whatever. I don't post on it or anything. Have you read Death Note? >> Way, way back in the day.

Do you have a blacklight? >> I do not. How old where you when you lost your virginity? . How often do you wash your sheets? >> Every other week.

Do anything productive today? >> I tried out a different food other than fucking crackers (cornflakes, with a small amount of almond milk), I played some Grim Dawn (god, Elite difficulty is kicking my ass... where the fuck are the gear drops that I can actually use? spare a gear drop plz?), I watched a movie (Scream, finally, and it actually is as good as everyone says it is, surprisingly), and I watched some YouTube including finding and starting a new LP (Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories). I also put my clean laundry away. Is Uma Thurman’s face annoying? >> That's... so specific. what did Uma Thurman's face do to you

How are your grades? .

Most tedious/annoying class? .

Did you skip class today? . Who do you love? .

Would you move anywhere for someone you love? .

Are spiders scary? >> Not as a rule. But there are definitely some spiders out there that I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.

Cheetos. Poofy or regular? .

What color are your eyes? >> Dark brown. What shampoo do you use? >> Cantu brand, usually the guava ginger variety.

How old are you? >> 36, for 72 more hours. Whats your favorite music genre? >> I suppose that's metal, since that's what I seem to get the most consistent joy out of listening to.

What’s a total deal breaker in a potential bf/gf? .

You’re at Starbucks. What do you order? >> I'd rather go to a local place if I'm in the position to buy a coffee drink.

Wendy’s or McDonald’s? >> I haven't had Wendy's in ages. McDonald's on the other hand surprised me last weekend with their blatant Popeye's dupe. It was actually edible.

[capriciouscaprine]

GOOD MORNING!!!!!

numbers tw (im so excited!!!)

"He said I would marry you but I'm engaged to these aerials and varials And I don't think this board is strong enough to carry two She said bow I weigh 120 pounds, now Lemme make one thing clear I don't need to ride yours I got mine right here"

-Lupe Fiasco, "Kick Push"

I first heard this song when I was a junior in high school, and was disappointed to discover that I was already over this fictional ideal girl's numbers; not by a lot, still within ten of her at the time, and it didn't really inspire me to do anything then (which tbh I am glad about as I had way more going on at the time that I needed to focus on over my size)

however, I never forgot it, and after office jobs with at minimum monthly free donuts, going for a second degree only to get sent home by the pandemic, and getting sick while stuck in a situation where the only food I had time to eat was from drive thrus and gas stations, I was getting close to being 100 more than that fictional girl (my measured highest was 200, but pretty sure I was higher than that at times)

today, my morning check in was 119.2

and if I realllly flex for it? ive finally achieved a t gap, too!!!!!!!!

this is after days when I went over my daily goals twice this same week!!! literally yesterday I had so much I felt sick, and renewed my promise to myself to stop hurting myself in that way and to stick to my plan as a reward to myself, not a punishment

for the record, this took 16 months and 1 week, with a plan slowly evolving with my body from just being more mindful, to swapping my snacks for lower c versions, to buying smaller pre-made meals, to actually thinking about my daily numbers as a whole instead of from meal to meal, to recording those numbers here, to finally getting a new phone and being able to track them with an app

also, steps really do make a difference!! now that I can see and get rewarded for my steps on an app, my step count at minimum doubled, and I credit that heavily with my significant drop (over 2.5$!) in this single past week

going forward, I do plan on going lower! height does effect how a number looks on a person, and on me im not yet inspiring to anyone in our particular community (although I am proud that ive gone down to half my pants size and people do comment on the change!); plus, I want the freedom to go on vacation this july for my cousin's wedding, eat 'whatever' (within SIGNIFICANT reason, lmao, I know this mindset is permanent) without ending up back over this milestone

plus, the kids sections at a bunch of stores have some really cute pieces for several dollars less than the adult versions, and im already a walmart boys and girls large/12-14 in tops, soooooo...........

[celticjade13]

10 years ago, over the 2012 holiday season, two women who I'd been best friends (I thought) with since high school and I planned a vacation to Europe for our 30th birthdays, which were all in 2013. (We live in the US. It's a significant trip.) We talked about what we wanted to see and what we'd do and how awesome it would be.

2 months later, on Super Bowl Sunday (this is relevant) Beyoncé did the halftime show in Baltimore. The lights went out in the third quarter. I was at the house of one of the friends for a Super Bowl party and as the blackout dragged on, I said, "I'm not going to be able to stay for the entire game now. I have a meeting at 9 AM tomorrow morning at work." Another party goer said, "Eh, call in sick." I said, "No, I really have to be at this meeting." And I can't remember what I said next, something about time off not being unlimited, but my friend said, "Oh, I'm taking a week off in April for the [Other Friend] & I for a Europe trip."

I said, "You mean the Europe trip the 3 of us were supposed to go on?" She said, "Well, the Europe trip [Other Friend] and I are going on." I, in front of a Super Bowl party full of people I didn't know because they were all her work friends, froze and just said, "Oh." She said, "But the three of us can go to Europe sometime if you really want to go!"

I don't remember a whole lot after that, except that the dishes I brought snacks over in were left at her place, I cried the whole way home, I cried myself to sleep, I barely made it through my meeting the next morning and definitely looked like I'd been crying all night, and I finally stopped crying a few days later to realize I was absolutely furious.

I severed the friendships the day after my 30th birthday that March. (I had the first one of the year.) I got "apologies" from both of them with, "Oh, we didn't think you were interested, you didn't seem as into it during the discussion as we were, we had to book everything really fast, there was no time to contact you, we didn't think you'd want to take PTO, etc." (Yes, those were all given as reasons for not inviting me.)

Part of me bringing this up is because it'll be 10 years this year since I last talked to them. I severed the friendships on March 14, 2013, and they were significant enough people in my life at the time that 10 years is enough for me to kind of rock back on my heels and go, "Wow. That was a significant moment in my life." But also part of me bringing this up is because one of the women and I liked the same kind of music. The third couldn't stand it. Every time the one friend and I went to a concert, I'd invite the third friend. I'd say, "I know you hate this music, but the two of us are are going, it's an outdoor amphitheater, you could just come to hang out." She'd always refuse, but I'd make sure she felt included. The same courtesy wasn't extended to me, and I'll never take that for granted again.

“why would we make plans in front of you if you weren’t invited?” babe i was left out of everything growing up, i need 100% confirmation you want me there or i simply will not go

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #110

(taken february 2nd; uploading surveys taken while gone)

Have you ever taken classes, ie pottery, swimming lessons, etc? I took dance classes for maaaany years, and I also briefly got electric guitar lessons. I'm currently taking my second non-school-student type photography class, and this one is REALLY benefiting me. I've maybe taken more, but I don't remember any right now that weren't like, school classes. I guess you could include German, but taking a language was mandatory to graduate; granted, I took more classes than what was necessary to graduate in it. Lately I've actually been considering looking into venomous snake handling for once I'm in better shape and can react adequately so I can actually help people move snakes instead of them getting killed. I don't have any interest in handling venomous species beyond that, though. I just don't think it's smart.

Do you play games on your PC? I only really play WoW these days. I do however REALLY want to play the remake of Resident Evil 4 when it comes out in March, but I don't have an appropriate console, so I'm stuck with doing PC.

If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be? A TARANTULA. :( God I want at least ONE so badly. There was a great deal for one of my favorite beginner species on Craigslist the other day and you have no idea how tempted I was to ask Mom for the millionth time. 😭

Do you have an active sex life? Not so far as having straight-up sex, but I'd say we do "things" at a normal and healthy rate.

If you could change any law, what would you change? Why? Healthcare is fucking free, for everyone. I should NOT even need to explain the reason.

What would be your VERY last meal? If I had the ability to pick, uh... I really don't know for sure, it would still depend on what I felt like having...

Are you defensive about anything? Yes; my mental health and what I've dealt with/survived. I also get very uncomfortable when people shit all over things I like in the way that they make you feel dumb or weird for liking something. You're allowed to not like ANYTHING I like, but when you make me feel bad about it/like I'm morally doing something wrong by liking the thing, I WILL get defensive. I know part of that comes from my extreme hypersensitivity to rejection/judgment thanks to AvPD, so I'm probably worse about it than some people.

Have you ever driven 80+ mph? *I* haven't, but I've definitely been in cars that were going over that... which I wasn't happy about.

Have you ever changed a lightbulb? In my reptiles' heat lamps, yes.

Is your house energy efficient? Well I know Mom always complains about the electric bill, so I guess not. It is abnormally high compared to friends and family.

Any vacations planned? No. We basically never, ever go on vacations.

Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? Yes I did. My older sister was particularly absolutely obsessed.

What gym do you have a membership to? None, now. But the last time was the YMCA, which I liked WAY more than Planet Fitness. The people were very, very friendly and accepting.

If you had to get glasses would you wear contacts? I WISH I could handle contacts, but I just can't. I had an absolutely godawful experience where I put one in backwards once and it got completely stuck somewhere in my eye, like I was literally crying for at LEAST over 15 minutes fighting like hell to find it and get it out. I think that's the specific occasion where I changed to glasses. I eventually went back to trying contacts, but by this point I needed a weighted one in one of my eyes because my vision in it was so severe, and it gave me bad headaches. I could literally feel the weight ON my eye. Since then I've stuck with glasses.

Best party you’ve ever been to? One of Summer's as a teenager. We just hung out in this extra building that's at her place, which she decorated thoroughly, and we also had big ol' speakers playing music in there. It was very fun.

Have you ever been skinny dipping? No, but I have this weird urge to one day when I don't actually hate my body lmao

Best summer memory? Oh I have no idea, but I'm sure it was from my childhood. I've absolutely dreaded summer since like, a pre-teen.

Have you ever been surfing? No.

Do you own any Funko Pop! figurines? I don't.

Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I'm not sure, actually...

What’s the name of the local news network in your town? WRAL. Well, I don't know if my actual city has its own news network, but that's the big nearby one that everyone watches.

Have you ever colored in an adult coloring book as a stress reliever? Not necessarily as a stress reliever, I just wanted to.

What would you do if you accidentally got pregnant? Have an absolute emotional crisis/meltdown and get an abortion.

What’s your favorite Netflix show? Extraordinary Attorney Woo.

What was the last really intense pain you felt? A few days ago I had very, very intense stomach cramps that made me like silently gasp with how bad they were. It's really common I have stomach problems that go beyond normal cramping when I'm on my period.

Who was the first male you talked to today? What colour are his eyes? Girt's eyes are brown.

Are you wearing any accessories in your hair? Describe them. No, I never do.

Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person? Brianna, and no. Although I did see her mother the last time I was at the dentist, and between she, my mom, and me, we're thinking of planning a get-together with the family whenever Brianna next comes back into town. I really would love to see her, although I'm uh, kinda nervous about the idea. Brianna is way, WAY more successful than I am and I worry she'll be disappointed in me and what I became.

Have you seen the person you love/like recently? How is he/she doing? It's been around a week and I miss him super badly. He was really stressed out recently, primarily because of work, but he told me yesterday that the day he took for himself really, really helped him refuel, so I'm very happy about that. He's apparently very excited for this weekend though so that makes me happy.

How many vowels are there in your full name? Six.

Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you? It's pretty, but I absolutely hate how insanely common it is.

Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift? Yeah, my current pj pants were a Christmas gift, as were the gauges I currently have in my ears.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? I think she's a beautiful woman.

Name a singer that you like, whose name starts with the letter "C." Chris Cerulli/Motionless is a great one.

Who is the sixth contact in your phone? What colour is his/her hair? She's actually a natural redhead.

What is your brother/sister’s favourite food? I don't know any of my siblings' ACTUAL favorite food, but I can tell you Nicole's is probably a Mexican dish, she fucking loves Mexican food.

Do you have any ice-cream in your freezer? What flavour is it? No, we try to not keep ice cream or just sweets in general.

In your life, who is the person that seems to understand you the most? My mom, I think.

Which one of your friends do you see/hang out with most often? I only really ever hang out with Girt, but he's way more than a friend so idk if he counts here.

If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? I'm not gonna go deep into this because I don't even like entertaining the idea of allowing myself to have kids, but I guess primarily to give the world a person/people who I believe can do great things. Then there's also I just like... want to do/make SOMETHING I'm proud of, but that's not the reason you should have a kid. I also really do think that especially as they got older, I could really be friends with my children.

What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? This was obviously painful on the heart to do, but I will never forget dissecting a frog. It was SO fascinating. Dissecting owl pellets was also very cool, like some people would find actual rodent skulls and stuff. I know there are others, I really loved doing science experiments, I just don't remember them now.

What was the last strong emotion you felt? I was very stressed last night talking to Mom about going back to my old therapist once she moves into her new business.

After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? No. Well, I guess not NEVER, but it's super rare and depends on the cereal.

What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard rock.

What historical event would you have liked to witness? Even before I was big into German culture and stuff, my answer to this was the fall of the Berlin wall. A country coming back together is a wonderful, powerful thing. I've seen pictures and videos of the event and oh my god it's incredible.

Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? That I KNOW of, uh... realistically probably Mom, but idk what I most recently did to make her feel that way.

Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. At least, we didn't consistently not get along.

What’s something that bothers you more and more as you get older? Why people get so fucking bent out of shape for others leading their lives in a totally harmless manner just because they disagree with what they stand for when it has ZERO effect on them. That is just a special level of SEEKING out something to be mad about and also emphasize how much holier than thou you think you are. It's fucking infantile.

What types of animals have you had as pets? Cats, dogs, guinea pigs, lizards, rabbits, rats (and maybe mice, I'm not sure...), gerbils, snakes, hamsters, fish...

What was the last fruit you ate? It was uhhhhh... maybe grapes...? I'm not sure, really, as far as just straight fruit goes.

What gives you immense pleasure? Finishing something that I feel was truly productive, especially if it's something I've been putting off.

What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? Thongs, they are wildly uncomfortable.

Have you ever been afraid to get up and go to the bathroom? Yes; many, many years ago when I had a hemorrhoid (second-most physically painful thing I have ever been through) and basically wanted to fucking die. I also kinda just have gastrointestinal issues in general and have my entire life and there are times where my stomach wants me dead very, very suddenly and I never actually look forward to taking care of the whole process lmfao, I'll spare you the details.

What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? It would probably depend on where I hear noise going on, and if my mom is home; if she is, I'm going to try to get into her room across the hall first, but I can guaranfuckingtee she'd either be beating the absolute shit out of the robber or be in my room quicker than you could fucking blink; she DOES NOT fuck around when her kids/grandkids/kids in general are at risk. Once she's in there or if I'm home alone, I'm/we're going out the window and getting a neighbor to call the cops.

Who’d you last see in a tux? In person, most likely the groom and groomsmen at the last wedding I shot.

Have you ever sexted? I've sent sexual texts before, but I've never gone past that.

Out of everyone you know, who has the most heart? My mama.

Who’s the bravest person you know? Also my mom.

Have you ever given up on someone before? I mean, yeah. I think everyone has.

Did you end up regretting it later in life? No. At least, not that I remember.

Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? How I treated Jason after he left, yes. I was 120% fully convinced everything I said was justified for years. I was very wrong.

How come no one knows what MGMT is? Coincidentally I know and like one song by them thanks to Girt, "Little Dark Age." I wanna listen to it now, thanks, lol.

What did you dream about last night? I just remember it had Juan in it, which was REALLY weird?????? Also we were getting hotdogs? Idk bro lmao

Have you ever tried to change someone? Yes. Never should've in my case.

Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? Nope.

Do you miss your ex? Not anymore. I don't miss people who ultimately didn't support/believe in me.

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Yup, starting in the 8th grade. I basically had a crisis over me being bisexual, but I was VERY Christian at the time and eventually managed to just repress my feelings until adulthood. Religion did so much fucking harm to me and the kind of person I was.

Do you have mean comments that replay in your head and haunt you? FUCKING YUP.

^ If so, do you know why that is? Because I always, ALWAYS worry about what if they're actually right? I have this problem where I second-guess my own intentions and shit ALL the time, like a part of me is so convinced I'm actually a bad, manipulative person, even though in my *heart* and *core* I don't believe that at all... but it's a problem I've been totally obsessed with for years. I will latch the fuck onto "what if"s like nobody's business.

What are you currently worried about, if anything? I can't for the life of me pick out a gift for Girt for Valentine's. I have future ideas for sure, mostly custom products, but I need pictures of us, and none exist because we're both not picture people, so they're out of the question for now. I'm absolutely running out of time. I have a drawing/painting I want to make him planned, but I need to actually fucking DO it, and I want to get him more than that anyway.

When you have your own house someday, what color Christmas tree do you want and how will you decorate it? I ABSOLUTELY want a black Christmas tree with white faux snow/frost, then probably use ornaments of a specific color scheme each year. Already told Girt we're getting a black tree and he's totally on board, y'all I got me a WINNER

Name 3 YouTube channels you’ve been loving lately. GameGrumps has been my go-to, but I also regularly watch WoolieVS and John Wolfe.

Do you have a YouTube channel? Yeah, and I'm actually very heavily considering getting back into making Meerkat Manor tribute-esque videos. This laptop doesn't have a disc tray though, so I can't put my DVDs in and save the footage, and it's not at all easy to find quality MM footage online. I've been working on a list of projects I wanna do, though.

If you could win a shopping spree in any store, what would it be? Rebel's Market.

What color was your senior prom dress? Black. I really wish I hadn't deleted all those pictures, the dress was so pretty, *I* was pretty (though I didn't think so back then), I looked so happy...

Name the people you know who are colorblind. Jason's older brother Jonathan is like... red/green colorblind, if I remember right. It was some two colors.

How good are you in trivia games? What’s your best category? It really depends. I'd say I know more trivia than the *average* person (literally mostly from my GMM days lmfao), but I am absolutely not amazing at it. I could always like, ace animal behavior/science questions, though.

Are you a sore winner or a sore loser? Neither, in total honesty. I believe everyone deserves their time in the spotlight, especially when they worked hard for it, so I'm happy for 'em when it's their turn! I'm not gonna lie and say I wouldn't be DISAPPOINTED if it was something I was very serious about and worked hard on (like for example, a photography competition), but it won't go beyond that.

Who is your absolute favourite film director? Tim Burton. I LOVE his style and endless creativity.

What is a question you would never ever ask somebody? Things like if they were ever assaulted. Very triggering things.