#there are real activism groups for real world issues you can join and put your energy into instead

[madness-of-void]

Bro...I am so tired of fandom pearl clutching over fictional beings that do not exist.

You know what a lot of it reminds me of? The bullshit I was taught while growing up in the Morm0n cult. Including the hypocrisy.

Please learn to curate your online experiences, use the block button freely, take time away from online spaces, and be kind to others. Those who participate in fandom are REAL. And your behaviors can produce real life consequences you might not be able to take back.

[serene-starss]

𝕽𝖊𝖘𝖙

Pairing: jutty Taylor & Tobias forge & GN reader & Cosmo sylvan

Warnings: sleep paralysis, nightmares, comfort lol. Requests are open!

Summary: reader recently joined the band and suffers from sleep paralysis, only a certain action can help them get out of it.

It’s 3:21 am on a Sunday night in London, the band had gotten home from the venue and was long past everyone’s showers and phone calls to their loved ones.

It was 3:21 am, on a Sunday night, in London, and there were 2 more hours untill everyone would wake up for the days activities.

5am. Wake up, get ready, pack

5:30am. Breakfast and boarding the bus

6am. Leave the hotel and go to next city or to the venue

It was the same thing every morning and honestly it was fine for you, simple schedules that didn’t make things harder. Currently it was the second week of tour and you were running on only 1 and a half hours of sleep a night.

Your sleeping issues plagued you ever hotel and bus…sleep paralysis taking over when the foggy mindset rested your eyes and relaxed your bones. Freezing like a statue, turning into a corpse and figures swarming you. Words and thoughts in your mind, nightmares that made you feel…real unreal things.

“Just take melatonin!” People suggested before you joined the band, but they didn’t know that it made it worse.

It wasn’t that you were mentally ill- oh no it sure wasn’t- it was just one of the things that stuck with you as you got older

When you first joined you had to give a contract to the manger as well as medical records and such that proved you were fit to be in the group. Now that the bands manager was Tobias, it was honestly more nerve wracking to hand over all your personal information to your future boss.

He didn’t really care, Tobias was a good person they didn’t judge others nevertheless what they were dealing with. It was really just to be sure you weren’t going to put yourself or others in danger on the tour or have condition like a tumor that kept you from flying.

Tobias never mentioned it again, he did ask what it was for you- you assumed it was so he wouldn’t freak out if you started doing some weird shit in the middle of the night.

You explained what it was and how it affected you, even sugaring it up to not sound so pitiful. After all, it was ghost, one of the best bands in your opinion. He was shocked when he heard you, he naturally asked what you do to help it and what he could do as a friend. You greatly admired his sense of friendship and care towards everyone, he really was a “tender father”.

“Sometimes it helps bring me back to this sort of world by tapping or rubbing my limb or back in a rhythm I know that I can focus on.” You say, “it helps me focus on what’s real.”

After that, you shook hands and joined the band. Months later and many practices after you started tour.

You had put up with the terrors every night so far, by not going to sleep or very…very…embarrassingly petting a small shark plushie you had since you were a child. It was embarrassing but it was better than sobbing more than usual to sleep.

Another thing, you literally cried every night due to them. Rather it be in the terrors or after and before, you tried to muffle it to not wake up whoever you were sharing a hard hotel bed with or whoever was around your bunk on the bus.

But this night, it was worse…perhaps from bottling it all up and the lack of sleep wrecking your corpse feeling form.

3:36 in the morning, and it’s hard to contain sobs as you can’t move your arms or mouth. Holding breath…only makes the gasp for air after louder each time. You can feel the bed shaking and you pray to everything that exists that the guy beside you doesn’t wake up.

Now that you think about it, you forgot who was paired with you, it swapped every night. You couldn’t care who slept with you, the fact that it wasn’t even gender based told you enough that everyone trusted each other life family to not get freaky in the middle of the night.

In your peripherals you see jutty soundly asleep, “of all nights….” You think as he softly snores with his mouth agape.

He was the lightest sleeper in the group, of all night…and to think the most energetic guy on stage was the hardest sleeper baffled you.

They all had traits of sleep, not that you watched, it’s just being up all night you had nothing else to do but notice their presence.

Jutty, light sleeper and sometimes talks.

Per, sleeps like a log and doesn’t move once, he also sleeps with a hoodie on including the hood and thick pajama pants.

Randy, didn’t know what sharing leg room was.

Cosmo, he also must’ve forgotten that there was only one blanket.

Hayden, snores like the devil…

The girls? They all were perfect to share a bed with!

Tobias? He went to bed three hours after the unassigned assigned curfew and often passed out from the amount of melatonin he takes but is up an hour before alarms dressed for breakfast with a smile.

Whatever luck had gotten light sleeper boy in this bed obviously hated you.

More tears soaked into the pillows on your side, and when you finally got out of it you quickly gasped and rolled over facing the wall.

“Shit…” you hope it didn’t wake him up, you softly sniffle, broken cries muffled by your hands and T shirt.

“Are you alright?” A soft and groggy voice says quietly as a hand sets on your shoulder.

With a slight jump, you pretend to be asleep.

“Dude…I know your awake?” He says a little dramatically.

His hand softly rubs your back as he notices the tear stains on the pillows, “everything…alright?” He asks again

You sniffle, giving away more that you were crying, “I’m ok.”

“Why are you crying?” He whispers, he doesn’t sound nosey but genuinely concerned.

“Uhm…” you sigh, “just uh, I have sleep paralysis…”

He makes a knowing sound, “ohh, I’m sorry jack,” he pats your shoulder

“You can go back to sleep…” you say awkwardly,

“Do you need anything? Water? Crackers? Fresh air?” He asks a little worried

“No I just..” you sigh, giving up on not worrying him, “I just sometimes need help getting out of it.”

Jutty is too kind of a person to not care, being mean to each other was the popular sarcastic humor but his personality always shined through.

“How do you do that?” He asks curiously

You tell him about the tapping back you do, and explain how focusing on a rhythm helps.

“Oh…well….i get that, I’ll try if you have it again. Wake me up if you have it again.” He says sweetly

Besides the fact the whole point was that you couldn’t move, you nodded with a smile.

The next day, everyone exhaustedly climbs into their bunks as they get back from dinner.

After a few hours of sitting in the couched area of the bus as it departs, you head to your bunk. You knew you needed to turn off your work laptop, to not wake others with the light as Tobias himself headed to his bunk. You kept yourself busy every night with school, trying to finish an online course for your own education.

Hours later, you are stuck in another possession moment.

Can’t move.

Can’t speak.

Can’t communicate.

Can barely think…

This one’s worse than the previous one, this time the things in your nightmare are even more realistic. You want to be awake. You are awake. You are aware. But you can’t do anything to protect yourself. In this moment you need someone to wake you, you need someone to help you out of this hell.

And suddenly there is a tap on your shoulder, it feels- tap tap, tap tap tap tap, tap tap, tap tap tap a soft stroke of a tune that you can feel. Noticing it as the bass line for absolution.

You focus, on whoever was helping you as you stared into the top of the bunk.

After a minute and a half you escape the hellish realm you were stuck in and rub your eyes. Your breathing shutters as you struggle for air.

“Are you out?” Cosmos tiered voice says across from you, his hand still on your arm.

“Cosmo?” You roll over, “how did you know, to do that?” Your croaking exhausted voice asks

“Jutty told me and per at dinner, I don’t think he meant too,” he says as he props himself on an elbow.

“Oh, that’s alright…I suppose it’s helpful…” you say

“Sorry you have to deal with that,” Cosmo said again, “perhaps listening to something to sleep will help?” He suggests

“Maybe, but thank you, I’ll try it.” You say softly as he retracts his arm from across the narrow bus hallway.

“Get some rest.”

[jennyandvastraflint]

Hiya! I run into your commercialization of fandom post and got curious about fan activism. Would you mind rambling about it?

Wouldn't mind at all! I'm gonna use some of my slides from my presentation again XD Also, my sources will be linked/cited at the very end once again, except for if I take something directly from a text.

Now, I'm gonna start with a definition of what fan activism actually is... Fan Activism describes fan-driven efforts to address civic or political issues using engagement with and strategic deployment of popular culture content. It's often conducted through the infrastructure of existing fan practices and relationships, and frequently framed through metaphors drawn from popular and participatory culture. Fan Activism can of course be directed towards goals such as keeping a show on air, but it can also be used for political causes.

(more under the cut)

Disclaimer that these "forms" I refer to here are a non-exhaustive list and are obviously not mutually exclusive, meaning one thing can fall into multiple of these or outside of them. It's just some examples Brough and Shresthova brought in relation to these.

Content-related Lobbying wants to keep programmes on air, and advocates for diverse representation - a negative example for this were white Disney fans screaming and sobbing about the casting of Haley Bailey as Ariel and threatening to boycott the movie because "that's not my Ariel >:(((" Of course, there are also positive examples of this, for instance fans' reaction to the cancellation of Warrior Nun (after a year or two of sooo many sapphic cancellations).

Fandom Forward is a campaign that advoates for human rights and equality by utilising narratives from popular media to run advocacy campaigns. Currently, for instance, they are running a campaign called "Save our Progress" encouraging people to vote, and one called "Book Defenders" which encourages people to stand against book bans! (Btw, joining such fan activist campaigns is not only a great way to get more politically engaged, but also to find new friends <3 AND you can use your passion and interest as a force for good in the real world as well :D)

As already mentioned, Fan Activism frequently uses pop culture imagery, and one very prominent example of that would be indigenous and Palestinian rights groups using the fictional Na'vi from the 2009 Avatar film to attract media attention for their cause. This is underlined by the fact that they related their own lives under occupation to the Na'vi people. The picture on the right in this slide is an image taken in 2010 in Bil'in in Occupied Jerusalem, when protesters from the West Bank came together to protest Israel's occupation of Palestine.

With the internet being at our constant disposal, online mobilisation and community building is also a form fan avtivism can take, and they are often followed by one of the other forms, utilising the community that has been built as a way to spread their efforts further.

Fan activism can also be put towards goals of education, for which fan conventions and panels for discussions are an example.

In the presentation I've taken an example for the integration with real-world issues where fans made very evident the parallels between the dystopian scenes in our world and the setting of the Hunger Games, with the richest lavishing in their colourful, beautiful ballgowns while people outside are protesting and a genocide is taking place. There are many videos following the same principle as this one, showing the Met Gala (which also has an incredibly ironic theme) and the ongoing genocide in Gaza at the hand of Israel while the song "The Hanging Tree" plays.

And one other thing that I wanna bring up are Fan-driven charity events! We've seen many artists take up their (metaphorical) quill and offering gifted artwork or fic as a Thank You for donations to Palestine, and the FTH has raised tens of thousands of dollars going to charities every year since 2016!

The brilliant thing about fan activism is that there is a pretty low barrier for entry, meaning any fan who wants to can join these causes with fairly little effort. Take a charity event, for instance; donating five dollars will not only go towards a good cause together with many others donating five dollars, but you also get a little thank you gift from the community.

However, we can't equate all acts of engagement with popular culture as inherently political and activist, as such a framing can have a depoliticising effect. Completely leaving popular culture and fan activism out of the picture, however, is a purist and ultimately unproductive way of viewing the political.

If you're interested in learning more about this, I definitely recommend checking out the sources I'll link, and also Henry Jenkins' concept of civic imagination which describes "the capacity to imagine alternatives to current cultural, social, political, or economic conditions; one cannot change the world without imagining what a better world might look like" (Jenkins et al. 5) and it requires (and is realised through "the ability to imagine the process of change, to see oneself as a civic agent capable of making change, to feel solidarity with others whose perspectives and experiences are different than one’s own, to join a larger collective with shared interests, and to bring imaginative dimensions to real-world spaces and places" (Jenkins et al. 5).

For my part, I can only say that fan activism has definitely played a huge role in me becoming more active politically, and especially in the past year or so, I've participated - while not (yet) as a fanfic writer - in multiple events particularly connected to Palestine. Maybe this is a wake up call for some to also take a step out into the political world through their interest!

(Also, some of these texts are Open Access - particularly the one on the TWC, but some are not - if you would like to read these and other texts, shoot me a message as I can get my hands on SO many texts thanks to my university giving us free access to a ton of academic texts!)

Sources:

Bennett, Lucy. "Fan Activism for Social Mobilization: A Critical Review of the Literature." In "Transformative Works and Fan Activism," edited by Henry Jenkins and Sangita Shresthova, special issue, Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 10, 2012.

Brough, Melissa M, and Sangita Shresthova. “Fandom Meets Activism: Rethinking Civic and Political Participation.” Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 10, 2012.

Shresthova, Sangita, Gabriel Peters-Lazaro, and Henry Jenkins. "Popular Culture and the Civic Imagination : Case Studies of Creative Social Change." New York : New York UP, 2020.

[andypartridges]

Hello! im really really sorry to bother you! i dont mean to i just love the content you put out especially your xtc content!! you are truly doing gods work thank you so much!! i was just messaging to ask if you could write out what your English settlement zine says? I'm sorry some words i cant make out its okay if you cant or rather not! again super sorry for bothering you

omg hi yes anon of course i can !!! if i can improve accessibility then it's no bother to me at all. it's probably too long to transcribe all of it in this ask so i'll transcribe part 2 here.

i apologise in advance for any grammar issues or just general clunkiness with the writing - i just wrote everything down in the zine without any preplanning and just sort of brain dumped my thoughts onto the page :-)

transcript below the cut !

no need to look back at pictures of lost From the haunting opening notes of 'Runaways', it's evident that XTC's fifth studio album was telling a story with a darker tone. Now, in 2022, we mark the 40th anniversary since the release of 1982's English Settlement, a double LP that would not only become the band's highest charting album in the UK, but the favourite album for many XTC fans around the world. It's a commentary on many things: the ideals versus the reality of Britain, Thatcherism, loss, and at times, a cry for help. It was the band's first album to break the self imposed rule that all songs must be able to be replicated live, and as such, you can hear a sense of 'vastness' - a sense of colour in the music. It's XTC like never before.

England's Glory: a musical portrait of early 80s britain Britain in the late 70s became a country under the leadership of Conservative PM Margaret Thatcher. While she irrevocably fucked up the UK in many ways, one prime example was contributing to the rampant xenophobia that was only on the rise with her comments such as being 'swamped' by (nonwhite) immigrants. Comments such as these only fuelled the activities of far right groups such as the National Front, the organisation that our main character Graham joins in 'No Thugs In Our House'. Both this song and 'Knuckle Down' are a snapshot of 80s Britain: the former depicts the insidious nature of racism and the latter, a call to end such ways of thinking. Graham is an example of how groups like the NF target the impressionable with lies and imbue them with hatred. With no parental figures to rein him in, this bigotry only festers. It's an ugly side of England, but one that still exists and is very much real. We talk about the glory of this country, but these songs point out that for some, much glory is founded in the suffering of others.

Save Us From The Ball And Chain: a musical portrait of early 80s britain (pt. 2) In addition to the negative impacts Thatcher brought upon Britain, her economic policies have also gone down in infamy, namely the millions put out of work as a result. Yet, the most infamous was the Miners' Strike of 1984-85, a bitter battle between Thatcher and trade unions. Miners and their families relied on handouts, receiving no state benefits at all. The landscape of the events, combined with Thatcher's belief that people were unemployed because they simply didn't work hard enough, is brutally reflected in the English Settlement track 'Leisure'. The economic tensions and anxieties surrounding employment reverberate through the song - most notably in Andy's cries of "leiiii-LEISURE!" and the shrieking, discordant alto sax solo at the song's climax. The other clear response to Thatcherism on this album is the record's second track, 'Ball and Chain'. A song protesting the destruction of the Swindon town centre, it was, according to Colin, a statement about "when eldermans in council chambers were getting outrageously fatter on inner city clearances". In other words, textbook Tories.

It's More A Way You Have To Give: English Settlement on Love XTC have never shied away from writing love songs; in fact, they've written some of my favourite, if not all time favourite love songs. But English Settlement isn't really an album about love in the way that, say, Wasp Star is. In my opinion, there are only 2 songs about the subject of love on English Settlement, and only one of them is really a 'love song'. That song, 'Snowman', isn't even a happy love song - it's about a loveless relationship, one where the narrator feels spurned by his girlfriend's coldness. It's a song about the painful elements of love, about rejection and hurt. In fact, it contains one of my favourite XTC lyrics: "people will always be tempted to wipe their feet on anything with 'welcome' written on it". It's just such a clever yet straightforward way of conveying the sentiment of being used, or being treated like you have no worth. Again, English Settlement isn't really an album about love at all, let alone an album that is sonically very joyful or celebratory - it is by far and away the opposite of that.

The other song I would argue is about love to an extent is 'All of a Sudden (It's Too Late)', a far more abstract composition - at least, lyrically - in comparison to 'Snowman', but a song that quite clearly touches upon the sentiment that we need love to survive and that we must realise this before there's nothing left to love and nothing left to give us love: "what can I say? why do we starve a thing that's near extinction? from day to day these weeds of fear are choking our conviction". Personally, I think it touches upon the idea that being sincere in regards to our emotions is always difficult - we're scared of making others feel uncomfortable, of being vulnerable and/or having that vulnerability exploited. So we hide our true feelings away, deep down inside of us - and then before we know it, the chance for honesty and truth is gone. The song is a reminder: tell someone you love them while you still can.

[kira-bennett]

So a conversation tonight got me really introspective and I sort of just want to throw some thoughts out there while they are floating around...

I grew up in a mixed religion household. Grandma was Christian, mom is a Helenistic pagan (with a lot of stuff borrowed from other branches of paganism and Christian psychics), and dad practices Norse paganism. It is safe to say that, should I encounter any problems, I had a variety of deities to pick from and pray to for help/guidance/etc, and, oh boy, I did encounter problems.

I was in late elementary school when my mom tried to get me to be more religious, so I studied as much as I could about different religions, and tried taking my problems to these deities, and shaping my behavior to be a good adherent to whatever I was trying at the time. I tried just about every god or goddess from every pantheon/religion I had an understanding of, and I got no help whatsoever. I was disillusioned at this point. Not only was I convinced none of these deities were real/could help, but I also started seeing a lot of issues with the common beliefs held in many of these neo-pagan groups, and running head first into the issues in many different Christian denominations. I gave up on it (save for a few times of pure desperation because I was in a really shitty state mentally and was truely felt that the only way I would be able to make it through was divine intervention, and I didn't care what direction it came from). I gave up trying to find something to believe in, and I gave up trying to figure out what I believe or if I believed in anything at all (it doesn't help that I was overwhelmed with homeschooling myself a taking care of my two younger siblings, which left me with no time to sit down and think about these things). What's the point of finding a deity to believe in if that deity won't answer a prayer or even send a sign?

The problem is, I want to believe in something, but finding where to start is overwhelming. I've kindof just landed on "be as good (aka no harming anyone and actively try to help people. If an action doesn't harm anyone it is neutral.) as you can and, if there is a just judge of what to do with your soul when you die, you will be rewarded, if the judge of the afterlife is willing to make eternity miserable for you unless joined this group/worshiped a certain way/etc than they were an asshole undeserving of worship, and if there is nothing, at least you weren't an asshole." Unfortunately, I just feel like that is such a cop out answer, but it's all I have. I would love to find a religion that matches my understanding of the world, but that takes time and, given my past experience, it would just be a waste.

If someone could make a quiz that takes stock of all of your beliefs of things like moral issues, the afterlife, the cause of human suffering, and divine intervention in human lives and rank which religions are most likely to fit your understanding of the world, that would be great and I would certainly use it to figure things out, but that's just because it feels like I would have to put in so much work just to get started in understanding what I believe/if I believe in anything, and don't want to be disappointed because I put in a lot of work just to have no answer.

[tycodes]

SaudadeRPG

So while my user is "tycodes", I do code but I also run a rpg site that I'd like for y'all to check out if you so wish.

Link: SaudadeRPG (jcink.net) Site Ratings: 3-2-3 https://saudaderpg.jcink.net/index.php?showtopic=2 Beginner's Rules: Beginner's Rules | SaudadeRPG (jcink.net) Site Lores: slowly progressing, we are writing and releasing lore at least once a month giving people time to research and write supplementary lore on top of their real life events. Site Lore | SaudadeRPG (jcink.net) Head Admin in the case of Questions: ME! My ooc/parent account for admin purposes is Dorkasaurus should you have any questions.

Method of External Communication: In the registration form, there will be a question asking if you have discord and if you've joined the linked discord server. If you have discord and use it, then put in your username! If you do not use discord, please put an email in your biography (that you can remove whenever you please) for a member of staff to reach out in the case you aren't actively checking the site every 2 seconds. It's okay, we know you have lives and we want to respect that. -- A short and simple guide: create (1) a parent/ooc account that has a singular username, put in your biography (one of the fields that show at registration) that the account is an ooc account. (2) create a first year account. --> Set: There are four schools in the Wizarding World; Beauxbatons, Ilvermorny, Durmstrang and Hogwarts. --> IC Year: The current school year is 1970-1971 --> Details: While we are (1) a new site that are in need of members, we have new issues that come out yearly, each one connected to one another. (2) You can live out your wizard/witchy dreams as you so wish no matter how chaotic you make it! Just have fun! --> Plot: A group of purebloods known as "SELMA" are on the rise and have been in the headlines of the Daily Prophet, and they're looking to take down all Muggleborns. Are there going to be dead people this year? --> Additional Consideration: You can join as a member of the site/a single character rper and not a member of staff, but if you wanted to be a staff member, applications for two more moderators are open. Note: We are LGTBQIA2S+ friendly, if you want to have a character as part of the LGTBQIA2S+ umbrella, feel free to have one!

[solhwellness]

Finding Emotional Support through Support Groups | Solh Wellness

Almost everyone needs social and emotional support since it helps us cope with the difficulties of life. Unexpectedly, receiving solid assistance may boost our sense of independence and self-worth, enhancing our ability to deal with challenges on our own. We can solve our problems with the assistance of loved ones who believe in our potential and encourage us.

No matter how large or small our social network is, the advantages of social support might still be significant. These connections may arise from coworkers, neighbours, or friends from different religious backgrounds.

Only a small portion of people are inherently social, and significant life upheavals can lead to the breakdown of connections. To receive social and emotional support, it is possible to make new friends and create a strong network of allies.

We shouldn't put off developing strong relationships with other people because, as was already mentioned, social and emotional support is crucial for our general development. 

The following are the advantages of joining a support group and reasons why it's crucial for your general well-being:

Realizing you're not alone: The ability to recognise that you are not alone In a support group, you'll meet people who are experiencing similar experiences to you. Knowing that you're not the only one going through these problems might be a consolation. Once you learn that other people can relate to what you're going through, you'll feel relieved and connected.

Expressing yourself freely: In a secure and judgment-free environment, you can freely express yourself in support groups by sharing your ideas, feelings, and experiences. It can be calming and therapeutic to be able to express oneself without worrying about being criticised or misunderstood. People in the group will validate your feelings and experiences if they listen to you with empathy and support.

Learning helpful information: acquiring relevant informationSupport groups are great places to get real-world advice, tools, and coping mechanisms. Members frequently exchange strategies that have helped them resolve problems that are comparable to their own. You might gain new knowledge and skills through this information exchange that will help you handle challenging circumstances and better manage your mental health.

Improving social skills: Support groups provide a secure setting to practise social interactions for those whose mental illness or addiction has made them withdraw from social situations. Taking part in a group activity promotes a sense of belonging and aids in the development of social abilities and interactional self-assurance.

Gaining hope for the future:  Observing the development and inspiring transformations in other group members who are further along their path to recovery can inspire you to believe in your own capacity to heal and go forward. You are given new hope for a better future by the positive role models in the group who demonstrate that recovery is achievable.

Reducing distress:  As you actively engage in the group and work through your problems, you may notice a decrease in general aching and discomfort. Sharing your issues with others and getting help from them might help you feel less alone and more in general.

Increasing self-understanding: Support groups provide opportunity for self-reflection and exploration. You can more clearly comprehend who you are and what you need by improving your coping mechanisms and becoming aware of the elements impacting your problems.

Helping others and feeling good:  As you go forward in your recovery, you can encourage and support group members who are going through similar struggles. Helping others can make you feel good about yourself and give your life meaning and fulfilment.

Accessibility and affordability: Compared to individual therapy sessions, support groups are often more widely available and more affordable. Because of the group's accessibility, more people may make use of its resources and help.

Conclusion

Support groups for people with mental health issues provide several advantages. They provide a safe environment where you may interact with others who have similar interests and experiences. These organisations also offer helpful advice and coping mechanisms to aid you in successfully conquering your challenges.

The importance of support groups in boosting wellness is recognised by Solh Wellness. We provide a range of no-cost, targeted groups for different mental health issues via our Solh app. By connecting with people who have gone through similar experiences in these forums, you can create a network of people who can support and inspire you. Join our group as soon as possible to get the help you require to attain mental wellness.

[ecoamerica]

Apply or nominate: https://ecoamerica.org/american-climate-leadership-awards-2025/

Calling all organizations, individuals, and small businesses successfully engaging Americans on climate! Showcase your creativity and climate solutions by applying for @ecoamerica’s 2025 American Climate Leadership Awards. You can win $1K - $50K by submitting your efforts for consideration by a stellar line-up of judges and individuals leading on climate. It’s quick and easy to submit your application or nominate inspirational climate leaders. Apply or nominate today!

[athenaokas]

Tips To Overcome Postpartum Depression in Women

Bringing a new life into the world is an incredible experience, but it can also be accompanied by a range of emotions and challenges, including postpartum depression. Postpartum depression in women is a common mental health condition that affects many of them after childbirth. It is crucial to address this issue promptly and seek help when needed. Some of the simple tips that can help a woman overcome postpartum depression effectively are as mentioned below:

1. Consult a healthcare provider

The first step towards overcoming postpartum depression is to seek professional help. Consult a healthcare provider who specializes in postpartum mental health. They can diagnose the condition and suggest suitable treatment options, including therapy, medication, or a combination of both. Female depression treatment centers in India are specifically designed to address the unique needs of women experiencing postpartum depression.

2. Build a Support Network

Having a strong support network is vital during this challenging time. Reach out to your partner, family, and friends for emotional support and practical assistance. Join local support groups or online communities where you can connect with other women who have gone through similar experiences. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others can provide validation, comfort, and valuable coping strategies.

3. Prioritize Self-Care

As a new mother, it is easy to neglect self-care while focusing on your baby’s needs. However, self-care is essential for your well-being. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as taking a warm bath, reading a book, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or engaging in hobbies. Taking care of your physical health by getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and engaging in regular exercise can also positively impact your mental well-being.

4. Establish a Routine

Creating a routine can provide structure and stability, which can be beneficial for both you and your baby. Establish a schedule that includes regular feeding times, naps, and activities. Having a predictable routine can help you feel more in control and reduce anxiety. However, it is essential to be flexible and not put too much pressure on yourself to adhere strictly to the schedule.

5. Reach Out to Women's Depression Helpline

If you need immediate support or someone to talk to, the women's depression helpline is an excellent resource. These helpline services are staffed by trained professionals who can offer guidance, reassurance, and information about available resources in your area. Don't hesitate to reach out whenever you feel overwhelmed or in need of assistance.

Take Positive Steps Towards Overcoming Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression is a real and treatable condition that affects many women. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to support you. With time, patience, and the right support, you can emerge stronger and regain your emotional well-being as you embrace the joys of motherhood.

If you or someone you know is dealing with postpartum depression and is in need of help from a center offering specialized treatment for postpartum depression in women, then Athena OKAS is the place to be.

Athena OKAS is one of the most trusted and reliable residential mental health treatment facilities designed dedicatedly to women. We focus on the mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional well-being of women dealing with mental illness. With a team of experienced professionals, round-the-clock care providers, clean & comfortable accommodations, and fully resourced therapy rooms, our gender-specific setting allows women to communicate more openly and freely. Sounds interesting? To know the complete details about our treatment plans and facilities, contact us at 9289730444 or drop us an email at info@athenaokas.com and our representative will contact you shortly. 

Read More about women's mental health near gurgaon

[visiongroupllc]

Discover the Sarasota Home Builder of Vision Group LLC!

Discover the Sarasota Home Builder of Vision Group LLC

Discover the Sarasota home builder that’s perfect for you. Whether you’re building a custom luxury home or looking for a new construction community, Vision Group LLc has the expertise to make your dream come true.

With years of experience, we bring our clients’ vision into reality through unparalleled craftsmanship and high standards. Our innovative designs are as practical as they are elegant.

Exceptional Craftsmanship

Discover the Sarasota home builder of Vision Group LLC, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised with their attention to detail. From custom floor plans to high-end finishes, their luxury construction is a cut above the rest. Their attention to detail is matched by their attention to customer service, and that’s what sets them apart from the competition.

They also have a patented product they call the “Smart Homes” system which includes smart technology such as automated door locks, lighting control systems, and even security cameras. The most impressive part of the whole system is that it has the potential to reduce your energy costs by up to 50%. If you’re looking to upgrade your current home, consider the smart home option by partnering with Vision Group LLC. Contact us today to get started! We’d love to help you make your dream home a reality. Whether you’re interested in a new construction or pre-existing property, we have the expertise and experience to help you navigate your next building project.

Exceptional Design

Exceptional design, whether it be architecture or fashion, is about something that withstands the elements while also engaging with them in meaningful and thoughtful ways. This includes a consideration of the behavior of materials and how they interact with the environment, as well as a thoughtfulness regarding the way in which they can be aesthetically enhanced by weathering over time.

Large-scale urban projects that make use of exceptional architecture face a number of challenges: the scale and complexity of the projects, as well as the elevated public and professional expectations faced by architectural and engineering firms (Flyvbjerg, Bruzelius, and Rothengatter 2003; Broudehoux 2010). Meeting these challenges requires the development of non-standard solutions that often exceed existing building regulations, in order to create unique and inspiring spaces and structures that appeal to the public.

Based on four case studies in the German context, this paper shows that exceptional architecture requires built environment professionals to actively negotiate with established norms and standards. This is an ambivalent process that fosters creative practices and a productive learning-by-doing environment, but also prevents codification and standardization of the innovative solutions.

Exceptional Customer Service

One of the most critical components of exceptional customer service is the human element. In a world of AI, automation and technological innovation, customers want someone who understands their needs and has empathy for them. They don't want to be put on hold for ten minutes, only to hear canned, scripted responses that ignore their real issues and needs. Good customer service is more than just a skill; it's about attitude, values and beliefs. It's a mindset that drives every single employee to deliver great customer service all the time. If you are interested in joining our team, please get in touch. We look forward to hearing from you!

Kabashi is the Director of Operations at Vision Group LLC. He brings strong management skills and a passion for customer service to his role.

About The Vision Group

The Vision Group is a full-service Sarasota construction and real estate services firm with over 25 years of experience. 

The Vision Group LLC 

Address : 1900 Main St. #205 Sarasota, FL 34236, United States

Phone : 941-961-9688

Email : mike.visiongroup@gmail.com

Website : https://thevisiongroupllc.com/

[prillaq]

“I have a talent! Tink, I have a talent. My talent is eating.”

( x )

Name: Prilla Quirtle Nicknames: None Age: 22 Birthday: September 1, 2002 Height: 5'0" Sexuality: Bisexual Occupation: Youth gymnastics instructor

Prilla was born in England, to a mother named Sara and a father who died when she was very young; she doesn’t really have any memories of him, however she’s always been very close with her mum. She was the first and only child of two only children, so she had no siblings or even cousins to play with, but her grandparents were very present in her life and instilled a sense of good manners in her—always addressing elders with proper titles and saying “Please” and “Thank you.” 

She never had many friends growing up, never fitting in with the other kids for one reason or another. Prilla was often lost daydreaming in her own world, being hyper-active and unable to sit still, or else missing certain social cues that everyone else seemed to pick up on naturally, and while she was never outright bullied, she knew her peers thought she was weird and tried to avoid including her in their groups.

It was only when she moved to Echo Isle during high school that she made real friends for the first time: Tink, Terence and Rani being the first of those. With their support, she really blossomed and came into her own, gaining confidence to put herself out there no matter what anybody else thought. She joined so many clubs and activities in high school that she ended up carving a place for herself in almost every social circle and making many more friends.

Because of her childhood, she especially never wanted anyone else to feel left out or alone, so she would go out of her way to befriend anybody who looked like they needed somebody in their corner, their own personal cheerleader…even if that somebody was a voluntary lone-wolf like Vidia. (And Prilla did join the cheerleading squad, for the teamwork and spirit and gymnastics of it all!)

Having plenty of friends is a blessing, but one major issue is that she’s so willing to put her own needs aside to be helpful to others that she can end up wearing herself out or letting herself be walked over like a doormat—and that, not because she’s a bad judge of character, but because even those with good intentions can’t always tell she’s overwhelmed by putting too much on her own plate.

When she first moved to Echo Isle, something else started to happen, more inexplicable than her figuring out how to make friends. Something unlocked inside her, a level of magical ability she had only ever dreamed of when she was a little girl imagining that she was a fairy. For the most part, her magic is general and minimized in comparison to those with a very strong singular ability, but she’s able to pick up various little tricks such as teleporting, making things invisible or making them float, especially when she learns from somebody directly (Rani was able to teach her how to manipulate water on a small scale.)

The most intriguing aspect of her magic is that she seems to be a good conductor for magic in general; other people with special abilities find their potency increased in her presence, like she gives them a boost. Perhaps the root of her talent is uplifting others with her belief.

In her life in general, Prilla’s optimism is a force to be reckoned with; positivity has power, and that’s something she’s lived by throughout all the struggles in life. When you could choose to lift others up by your words and actions or tear them down, she sees no reason to spread any more negativity in the world than already exists.

She currently works as a gymnastics teacher for children. They might not have cared for her when she was one herself, but kids love her lately—maybe because she never really stopped being one herself, at heart. She performs “magic tricks” for them which delight them endlessly, and she’s so exuberant and fun-loving that she never tires of playing games like their parents might. Her lessons are a good way to get out their energy as well as to learn gymnastics.

Two of her favorite things besides acrobatics and magic are fashion and food. Prilla has loved playing dress-up her whole life and finding the cutest clothes she could get her hands on. She got into costume design when she joined the theatre club and still loves making her own costumes for special occasions. She’s also a huge foodie and loves baked goods, always willing to stuff her face when opportunity comes.

[computer-powered-waffles]

to preface, i understand where you’re coming from. i have had family in the police force and it absolutely feels like bigotry. it feels like the world is out to get you for something outside of your control.

but it’s not. real bigots don’t care about amount or frequency or any of the bullshit statistics they fling around. they hate a group for something that group cannot change. any pretense of protecting the kids or the public from criminals and predators is patently false. cop hate is based on real lived experience of a group which chose to join the group that has been brutalizing minorities since they were founded. hating police isn’t bigotry because

cops can quit.

we’re not looking for a reason to hate all cops, we’re going outside and being harassed. we’re seeing our friends and family held at gunpoint for minor infractions because their skin is the wrong color or they look too gay. we damn the whole police force because they have been trained to be bigoted. we damn the whole police force because they are actively complicit in each other’s brutality. police unions fight to keep the abusers and brutalizers and murderers on the force. the ‘thin blue line’ stops any attempt to get rid of so called bad apples. you said it yourself, there are far too many cases to ignore. there is no way we could have reached this amount if it wasn’t a systemic issue.

imagine you work at a hospital as a nurse. you’ve heard some bad rumors about some of the doctors and other nurses, but everyone’s goal is the same. everybody is focused on helping people get better. then you hear about a surgeon accidentally slitting a patient’s throat. a patient that just happened to be black or gay or whatever group your nurse friends occasionally make distasteful but fine enough jokes about. then it happens again. the last surgeon wasn’t fired, but he hasn’t killed anybody else yet because they haven’t scheduled him for any surgeries while he still has a salary. a nurse this time, smothered a minority patient in their sleep. you know that nurse, you were friends with that nurse, but they just killed someone in cold blood. the next day, all of the nurses and doctors fight for the nurse to keep their job. you keep working as more and more nurses and doctors do worse and worse things, all without punishment.

i think it’s fair for me to “rag on” that hospital. i think that hospital should fire all of its staff and burn down. there are other places where people can get help. we don’t need to put every patient through one horrible hospital when we could have specialists and dedicated emergency centers and pediatric hospitals. the police force does many things that other people can do better, while constantly discriminating and allowing (if not encouraging) bigoted cruelty. i don’t have family in the police because they did the right thing. they quit the system which tried to make them bigots. you should get whoever you know to quit too.

check your logic

ragging on the police force and generalizing/disparaging it for multiple cases of brutality/unnecessary force, albeit there is far too much cases of this to ignore, but are too stupid/ignorant to realize that damning the entirety of the police force is the same principle and obnoxious belief that the bigots whom they hate so much, happen to have on minorities.

[transneonneko]

Things from Archie Sonic that I would love to see return in the Mainline Games and/or IDW Sonic!!

Recently, I decided to read some of the Archie Sonic Comic, from like issue 186ish up until the first MegaMan crossover and the reboot, mainly because there were some gaps in my knowledge of those stories. Mainly Issues 198 till 235, which I never got to read as a kid and, I have to say, there were a lot of really interesting concepts during Ian's run of comics before the reboot that I really loved. There was a lot of really interesting concepts I love after the reboot too. I wanna celebrate that. A lot of these concepts and story idea I feel really deserve another chance.

So I wanna make this list of stuff I wanna see return in either for stories in the Mainline Games or the IDW Sonic comics. Before we start, I do wanna add somethings. This post isn't meant to be shitting on IDW and being like "IDW would be better if they did this". I really love the IDW comics and universe. I also know that some of these concepts likely can't be done due SEGA Mandates and I'm not gonna include stuff like "Bring back the Freedom Fighters" because I feel asking to bring back characters isn't gonna be very productive, as much as I would like to see their return. Anyways, let's begin.

The Fate of the ARK

One thing that really inspired this list was this scene right her. We'll talk more about Silver's Future later but for now, let's focus on the ARK. I'm gonna assume anyone reading this knows the story of the ARK from SA2 and Shadow. Sadly, the ARK hasn't really been revisited in the main canon since Shadow, despite how iconic of a set piece it is. In the Archie Comics, we get a look at Silver's future and one of things that may have been the cause of how bad things are is the ARK crashed. Sadly, Archie got rebooted before the writers could go more into it but, from SA2, we know that the ARK was set to crash into the planet if all 7 Chaos Emeralds are placed into it, wiping out all life on the planet. This could be an excellent premise of another Silver adventure, whether it be in the comics or games, where Sonic, Silver and some friends have to stop someone from making the ARK crash into the planet.

Expanding the Eggman Empire/Egg Bosses

Something I've always found a bit lacking in the game canon is how the Eggman Empire itself has been presented. In the games, the Eggman Empire is usually just made up of Eggman, Metal Sonic, Orbot, Cubot, a bunch of robots and (recently) Infinite. It's not really an Empire if it's just one guy and a bunch of robots. The main goal is the conquer the world but we hardly see Eggman actually see what happens when Eggman conquers a place, like what happens to the people who used to live there, besides like Colours and Forces, where the Wisps and Mobians are usually just seen being imprisoned. The Egg Bosses are the perfect solution to this and adds so much to Sonic's World.

The Egg Bosses are Mobians who, either willingly or unwillingly, aligned themselves up with Eggman for whatever reason, becoming commanders of the Eggman Empire. This usually comes about when Eggman has taken over a part of the region and the people living in that region have no choice but to join the Eggman Empire, for their own safety. Not only does this make the Eggman Empire feel more than just one person but it also makes Eggman more a villain himself. It able to portray Eggman as someone to be feared and, I mean, this is a dictator and genocider who is pretty much declaring war against the world.

It also brings up some interesting thoughts about the world. Characters like Maw, Thunderbolt and even Nephthys to a degree joined up with Eggman because they felt it was the right thing to do for the sake of the world, or in Nephthys case, to stop things getting worst later on, meanwhile characters like Grand Battle Kukku are plotting to usurp Eggman, with Clove and Beauregard only working for Eggman to protect family or close ones.

As I said before, having these Egg Bosses also makes Eggman look more threaten, both because he's able to look like a "bigger bad" next to these villains he has command of and, because almost all the Egg Bosses hate Eggman's guts, they are cyberized, a terrifying process in which those who work for Eggman are focus to have parts of their body replaced with cybernetics, with either bombs which will blow if they decide to leave or a locking mechanism that will paralyze their entire body, ready to be locked up.

If either in the game or the IDW comic, I would like to see the Egg Boss concept return. It doesn't even need to be the same characters or use the name "Egg Boss." It would help expand the army of the Eggman Empire, as well as provide some fun bosses for the games I think.

Mobians and Humans living together

This was always a weird hangup I felt the series had. In the case of games between Sonic Adventure & Unleashed, Sonic and friends were the only Mobians, humans made up the NPCs while Mobians were reserved for main characters. Then in Forces and IDW, Mobians made up the background characters, so then Eggman is the only human. I really prefer it when they have the two living together, it makes it seems more normal and, honestly, a better solution than the whole "Two Worlds" explanation.

Eggman Seemingly Defeated

Can I just that I love Issues 198-200? In these 3 issues, Sonic and friends Eggman's main base, the Egg Dome. This including fighting on the outside of the base, involving fighting hoards of the Dark Egg Legion soldiers and Eggman in the Egg Phoenix. After dealing with the outside, Sonic and friends raid the Egg Dome itself, taking different directions, with the Dark Egg Legion seemingly retreating, until they reach the center of the base, where they are blocked off by a barricade, which only Sonic can pass through, giving a "Point of No Return" vibe, Dark Egg Legion soldiers lining up and saluting Sonic. Then Sonic reaches the center and finds Eggman in the Egg Tarantula, starting their final battle which Sonic wins. This defeat is enough for Eggman to lose his sanity, seemingly ending the war Sonic and the Freedom Fighters have been fighting their entire life.

Of course Eggman returns but, god, it's just such a memorable couple of issues. There's a real sense of finality to it. I would a sequence like this in the games, something that feels like truly ending the Eggman Empire and defeating them once and for all. Of course, it wouldn't be the end, Sonic games are always needing to be made which would lead to...

The New Rulers of the Eggman Empire

In the comics after the defeat of Eggman, the Eggman Empire is taken over by some of it's Commanders, the Iron Queen and Iron King, who rules the Empire as their own until they are defeated and Eggman's return.

I love the idea that even if the Eggman, there will always be someone there to take his place. The games could do this by having Neo Metal or Infinite take his place. Hell, IDW did have Neo Metal take over but I think what made that less interesting was that Neo Metal wasn't doing it for himself, he was doing it for Eggman. I think this would work well if a concept like the Egg Boss was introduced in the games, maybe have one of the characters part of that group take over OR have a lot of the more ambitious Egg Bosses war against each other to take command, until eventually Eggman returns and puts them in line.

Silver's Future

Silver is one of the most recurring characters, who always joins the gang when his future is in trouble. The problem is that we never see his future besides 06. We have no idea what Silver's future is currently until it's in danger and, even then, we never see it.

We see Silver's Future in both continuities of the Archie Comic, with two different takes. Pre-SGW has a destroyed city vibe, like 06 but less lava. Post-SGW brought a whole new take where people are ruled by a corrupt council where people are put into class groups, and security robots will arrest if you are not at your job at the right time. They even re-contextualize Silver's bracelets as cuffs that the robots can activate. With Silver being my favourite character as a kid, I remember being obsessed with this new world and story, wanting to know more.

I'm not saying they would need to copy this world exactly but it would be nice if they gave us a concrete and consistence look for Silver's Future.

The Heroic Metal Sonic

Right before the SGW, we were introduce to Shard the Metal Sonic. His story is that he was the original Metal Sonic, the one that raced Sonic in Stardust Speedway. He appeared later in the comic, where Sonic made him realized there was more to life than just being Eggman's killing machine. He seemingly died, but was rebuilt to serve as a member the Secret Freedom Fighters.

This one would be tricky to be included. It worked in the Archie comic as they had been many Metal Sonics throughout the series, each one getting destroyed. Meanwhile, there's only officially been one Metal Sonic in the games made by Eggman (two if we count Classic and Modern). Admittedly, Gemerl fits Shard's personality and does need to be used more in the games but having it be Metal Sonic is just a cooler concept.

I think a solution to this is that we have Metal Sonic 1.0 made by Eggman and, in Rivals 2, we have Metal Sonic 3.0 by Eggman Nega from the future. But what about Metal Sonic 2.0? I think we could have a game where after Metal Sonic fails, Eggman builds a replacement, being 2.0, which would give reason to Metal Sonic wanting to revolt, which could lead to a redemption? While I am loving the IDW comics, I do really miss a lot of what both Archie continuities offered. I haven't mention the some other concepts and stories I liked that really focused on certain characters such as Naugus, Geoffrey St. John, Dimitri etc. Maybe I'll talk about that another day...

[defdaily]

‪[TRANSLATION] Arena Homme+ Magazine April 2021 Issue featuring JAY B

Translated by defdaily.

JAY B is free and starting again from scratch. That is what JAY B has in mind. GOT7’s leader announced that he would be leaving JYPE as the group stays together. JAY B is preparing to debut as a solo musician while planning to also release mixtapes and hold exhibitions as Def. We had a chat with JAY B, who has gained more freedom and strength, at the swimming pool about courage, depression, literature and aspirations.

Did you come here alone?

Yes. I took a taxi here. I was the type to go around freely even when I was in JYPE but catching the taxi to work this time around felt new.

All GOT7 members decided to leave JYP but stay together as a group. As a leader, you needed to make a decision, right?

Although we ended up leaving JYPE, we wanted to continue as GOT7. We all agreed to leave [JYPE] and try it between ourselves.The product made from me taking responsibility/taking charge was the single 'Encore’ that was released not too long ago. I was involved in the whole process with a new record label. I was happy to see a good response [to the single]. It was lacking in some areas but I was just very proud that we were able to show a different step. Since we showed through this single that “we did not disband”, what’s next is more important. When we left JYPE, Director Jung Wook mentioned "Your role as a leader starts now." I'm realizing it now.

”I wanted to learn everything about the process of releasing an album and how difficult it is. I wanted to start again from scratch.”

Your role as a leader actually starts now.

I used to find the role of a leader burdensome at times but now I feel a greater sense of responsibility. While supporting each person’s journey, I thought I needed to be the one to step up once we got back together. We also talk regularly in our group chat. Not long ago, Jackson went to China. When Mark went to the USA, I could see him off but when Jackson was leaving, we couldn’t be together because of a schedule. So I told him to have a safe flight, apologised for not being able to see him off and thanked him too. He replied saying he’ll take care and be back.

What motivated you to leave the large agency you've been working with for a long time?

The thought came to mind suddenly as we were promoting as GOT7. Am I taking all these benefits I get for granted? When a schedule is released I just do it, and when they ask me to confirm things I do, but what kind of long process has it gone through before it came to me? Who sends a request and how is it processed? Why am I only waiting until it reaches me and simply watching it unfold? I wanted to be directly involved in that process. I wanted to learn everything about the process of releasing an album and how difficult it is. I want to be humble and start from the bottom again.

Didn't you need the courage?

Of course I did. I was also afraid. My position has risen to all the way up here, but when it comes to my actual knowledge, I think I'm only down there. I was afraid that the difference would feel too big once I left the company. But I think I would have been more afraid if I stayed at JYPE. Since that difference would have grown bigger and bigger. My real self is here, so I should face it head-on a little faster. That's what I thought.

As JAY B or as Def. who releases mixtapes and holds exhibitions, you must have had the desire to do something new.

I want to do research and build it up step by step without haste. JAY B will show hip hop and RnB music that appeals to the general public and Def. will do activities that Def. wants to do. It could be mixtapes or exhibitions, or other different kinds of fictions. Def. is the nickname I used as a bboy before I became a trainee. It’s like air floating about freely. It could be house or soul or acoustic or even modern rock. In a way, you can say that Def. is close to my “main self” but since I debuted as JAY B, I’ll also show a devoted side of myself through JAY B. I want to be a person who can do both what he has to do and what he wants to do freely.

Listening to your mixtapes, and hearing that you like the styles of D’Angelo and Ray Charles, you seem to be attached to the Southern US rhythm and blues and soul music.

I do like them a lot. I like the entire hip-hop culture that originated from there. That culture also includes DJing, graffiti and even bboying. Since I started as a bboy, I would look up older videos to watch, study the culture and also look into what each dance move symbolizes, with my bboying crew and that's how I became fascinated. What captivated me the most was their obstinacy. I felt respect towards the conviction and obstinacy they carried with their culture.

Is that mood still incorporated in your music and dance?

Yes. For example, I don’t think choreography is dance. I think dancing is when music plays and you like the rhythm and start humming and bobbing your head and moving your body. I think dancing is a free act you do out of enjoyment.

What was the reason you joined an idol group after starting out as a bboy?

I gained an interest in music too, not just dancing. When I was young, I listened to D’Angelo’s music and wanted to become a singer like him. But I was rebellious when I first joined JYPE. Haha. I was even suspended for a month once as a trainee. I definitely said hello but they said I didn’t so they said "If you're going to be stubborn, then go home" and me with my young heart replied “Then I shall head home.” and left. Then I met up with my bboying crew after a long time, and in just a few months it turned into a different world. The crew members were above me and I was worried because I could feel myself far away by myself. Should I go back to bboying? Should I continue as a trainee? In the end, I wanted to do my very best in whatever I chose so I decided to focus on becoming a singer. Since I wanted to do music, it was a choice I made with no regrets.

You started as a dancer and ended up as a main vocalist. What was music to you back then?

It was a challenge. Trainees are divided into singing and dancing. I joined as a dancer but what I wanted to do was become a singer and not just do dance. But since I was put into the dancing division, I worked even harder with singing to break that prejudice. I often felt defeated. I still feel defeated with singing. Haha. But music is about endless research. Now it’s more about research than studying.

You grew up as an only child to your parents who did farming?

I was an ordinary kid. I enjoyed Haruki’s Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage and thought the “colourless” kid was just like me. I was a calm kid who helped his parents with their farm work. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have any older siblings but they said I used to talk to myself a lot. My mother said there was a way she would know if I was home or not. If I was home, she would hear me talk to myself and be like “Oh really?” “Yes really” haha.

It’s extraordinary to read Haruki at that age.

There was an older friend that I knew and he was really cool. He looked really cool reading on the bus with his legs crossed. He said “Hey, Read a book and build up some knowledge.” As I was trying to be cool like him, I gained a favourite author and started reading more since I enjoyed it.

What kind of books do you like?

When I was a teenager I often read Kafka On The Shore. It felt like Kafka was just like me, and so while reading it, I even cried. The style of Murakami Radio was also interesting. The ending phrase “But I like that more…” was very witty. I’m collecting books from secondhand bookstores from authors who won the Young Author awards. I like Lee Jang-wook's short story Byeon Hee-bong. The main character knows the actor Byun Hee-bong, but the world doesn't know him. He would ask "Don't you know Byun Hee-bong from the movie The Host?" But no one knows. I like stories that don’t intend to be funny but they end up making me giggle.

What do you read these days?

I try to read poetry. I purchased and read the first volume that appeared on Moonji’s Poetry Collection, but it has too many Hanja characters. Haha. I started with Munhwak’s Poetry Collection. I have volumes 1 to 85. I also read poet Park Joon's collection of poems and poet Lee Eun-gyu's Affectionate Name. I even underlined and wrote things down.

Among the idols and musicians I’ve met, I think you are the most extensive reader.

We went on tours often and we would have a lot of time in my hotel room. When I went out I took pictures and when I stayed in my hotel room I read books. When I go on an overseas tour, I pack around 30 books in my suitcase. Then I bring back the books that left an impression on me, and those that didn’t sometimes I dispose of them there. These days, I look for independent publications too. I often look for independent publishing bookstores in Nakseongdae or Haebangchon. There are many books that contain honest stories that are not refined, and the power of those sentences is great.

How does reading influence your work?

The poetic expressions with poetic license help when writing lyrics. You read a new sentence and think “What is this expressing?” You receive inspiration from that image being expressed in a new way. I think of lyrics as poetry too. There are times I write how I feel honestly, but when I want to include a certain meaning I’d want to write the lyrics like poetry.

In your photo exhibition <ALONE> last year, you took pictures of objects and signs in the middle of the road.

Wouldn't it feel very lonely if you think about it from an object’s point of view? The camera captures just an instance but the object will stay there. I think each person has an insatiable loneliness. I like the artist Seonglib’s works, and I feel loneliness in his drawings. I don't know why I keep talking about loneliness, I guess I’m familiar with loneliness.

Seems like you take more pictures of objects and landscapes than people.

I don’t really like taking pictures of people. You can clearly see a person’s emotions in their eyes. I prefer hiding things rather than revealing them too much. I prefer objects, backgrounds, and natural objects rather than subjects that openly express 'It's me!'. Tranquil things, I like when you go past something and go “that’s how it was.” I try my best since my job requires being presented to people but that’s also how I am.

Who do you like as a movie director?

I like Woody Allen’s directing. My favourite is Match Point. It's a love story that goes beyond taboos, and it's electrifying. The face of the actor who secretly asks the reunited lover to give him her number remains in my memory for a long time. How could he direct such a real-looking, raw look in their eyes? When I was a theater and film major, I used to take directing classes rather than acting. If I were to direct a film, I would like to shoot an eccentric witty romantic comedy like Love Fiction directed by Jeon Gye-soo.

Are you self-conscious as an artist?

I’m interested in a variety of genres, and interact with crews often, but I think goofing off just because they are an artist is an arrogant attitude. Everyone is their own artist, no matter what they do, right? I'm not trying to be pretentious, I just think there's a difference in expression, and people who work in the office are also doing their own art. That’s why I’m a little shy about the title “artist.” Is there a need to be puffed up with pride because I’m an artist? I’m just a person.

While filming for “What's in my bag” and revealed your medications for depression and panic disorder. When did you face your depression?

I didn’t know I had depression. I thought I was being weak for a short while and let it pass. But on an occasion I got examined and found out I had depression. They asked how I lived by without going to the psychiatrist. I said I just thought I was the type to feel blue. Haha. I’m the type that doesn’t show [what is wrong] but they said I was in a state where I needed treatment. After going to counselling and taking medications, I’m much better now.

“I just wanted to talk about it. It may not show, but depression is both a common and dangerous illness.”

I think you’re cool for having the courage to talk about this.

I got diagnosed and looked at the people around me. There are friends who are ashamed of it and try to hide it, and there are friends who talk about it as if it’s insignificant. I just wanted to talk about it. It may not show, but it’s both a common and dangerous illness. A mental illness is an illness too. Among my fans, or those who read this interview, if there is someone who feels depressed, don’t be ashamed of it and I hope you receive treatment and overcome it. It’s not an embarrassing thing and it doesn’t need to be hidden. And I was filming content where I show what’s inside my bag; I can’t lie. I wish everyone would be healthy.

Are you bad at lying?

Yes. If I have to tell a lie, I think it’s just better to not say anything. Since I’m the type that’s honest and straightforward, I also don’t like beating around the bush.

Can you share a way one can take a step forward towards recovering from depression?

Look at the world in a broad view. Know that there are many places you haven’t been to yet and there are many things you haven’t felt yet. It's also good to take a walk and go off your usual route and take a path you've never been on. Small adventures can also be of great help. Just by leaving the house you’re already halfway there. I think there are more ways you can refresh yourself outside rather than inside. Also, I thought I was an honest person but after being diagnosed with depression, I thought I should be more honest with myself and more faithful to myself. At times like this, think of yourself before others.

What do you believe in?

I just believe in god. I don’t have a religion. I don’t know what kind of existence god is but I do believe that there is a god. When I’m thankful or am having a hard time, I pray. “Thank you.” “Please let me get through this wisely.”

What is the greatest motivation that moves you?

As long as I’m alive, I want to continue doing work that will leave a message. I believe that there is no next life. I think I should live this time diligently to the fullest. To have no regrets.

Translated by defdaily.

[hypnomicimagines]

The Past is the Past [Yamada Ichiro]

You had thought you left that relationship behind you.

Technically, you didn’t even consider it an actual relationship. To summarize it in the crudest manner possible the man you had formerly been seeing was nothing more than a glorified fuck buddy, and even in those moments he barely managed to meet your expectations. It was a moment of weakness more than anything and you hated to admit to it, hated that this man tried to hold your sexual relationship over your head as though it meant anything more than it did. You don’t think he was in love with you by any stretch of the imagination but it was about the control he wanted to exert over you, the guilt he wanted you to feel thinking he was depressed that he had to spend his nights alone.

In fact, you could remember a time where you had gotten annoyed about him ditching you last second (since you wasted time getting ready) and he had come at you like you were an obsessive freak. That moment was what had you calling it quits on your relationship with him, but thankfully your bed had barely gotten cold before you found your next warmer.

Perhaps he was a little more to you than that.

You laughed as his brothers both took off into the crowd, two different people who had two different objectives in mind to enjoy the festival to the fullest. Ichiro stayed solidly by your side though he looked exasperated at how his little brothers were acting, giving you an apologetic look though you didn’t mind. They had argued the entire walk there about what would be the most fun to do and after not agreeing, had decided to take off and prove they were having the most fun doing their specific activity. You can’t begin to fathom HOW they’re going to judge that particular contest but that wasn’t your biggest concern right now nor was it Ichiro’s.

“Where should we go first?” Ichiro looked like a kid in a candy store as he looked out over the festival, eyeing a game with some interesting prizes that might look good in your arms. You wonder when the last time he ever let himself have fun was but it was too sad to dwell on for long, knowing the bigger implications were that Ichiro never really had a childhood to begin with. From getting a job at such a young age to caring for his brother on his own, he… “Hey!”

“Sorry!” You bowed your head in apology but Ichiro’s light-hearted laughter brought you back into your good mood, hooking arms with your totally-not-boyfriend even though he certainly should be at that point. You had been ‘dating’ for quite some time now, a relationship with no commitments though you weren’t seeing anyone else (and you were positive Ichiro wasn’t either); it had been in a weird limbo that you didn’t want to blame on commitment issues but were certainly because of commitment issues. “Why don’t we eat something good first? And then you can show off for me at that goldfish game.”

Ichiro had no complaints and led you to a nearby stall, your heart fluttering in your chest as he held it up to your face to feed you. His other hand was waiting to catch any excess food that might fall, a doting move that had you tumbling even further into the hypothetical love hole you found yourself in. You didn’t like that you had picked that name but since you would never utter those words out loud, you simply dealt with your inability to name things in a less awkward way.

“Did it taste good?”

“Why don’t you tell me?”

You enjoyed the surprised look on his face as you held up the snack to him to take a bite out of, having to admit that he looked cute when he was flustered like that. The evening was off to a beautiful start, a date that was full of an energy unlike any of the other ones. Ichiro was the type of man you felt you could truly enjoy yourself around, where you could be yourself without having to worry about fitting into a specific stereotype until you’d locked him in. He wanted you just as you were and you wanted him as he was, even if you had to admit he was as close to being the perfect man as he could possibly be.

“Should’ve known I’d see you here whorin’ around with someone else.”

You didn’t even know you were being addressed at first, too absorbed in the way Ichiro looked while he was concentrating at the game in front of him. You only realized it once you’re pulled back abruptly, stumbling and grabbing onto Ichiro in surprise. He whipped around with lightning speed, arm wrapped around your middle as he pulled you back to his side and away from your assailant. In another unfortunate moment, Jiro and Saburo came running back, arguing as they did so but quieting down once they sensed the atmosphere.

“Why won’t you respond to my phone calls? My texts? This dude why?” He looked Ichiro up and down as though he could possibly stand a chance against him and so far he’s stayed silent, carefully assessing the situation as he kept you close to him. “I suddenly ain’t good enough for you?”

“What’s there to be so mad about? Weren’t we just friends?”

“Talk to me like that again—” His arm flexed like he was going to swing but you find yourself on the backline now, completely shielded from any oncoming danger.

The three Yamada brothers standing defensively in front of you tugged at your heartstrings, your grip on Ichiro’s arm tightening. You didn’t want the younger two to hear the disgusting things that might be spewing out of his mouth if this confrontation continued, you didn’t want their view of you to be colored by a world they didn’t quite understand (and that it wasn’t your business to explain to them). Ichiro had the same idea, calling out to Jiro then Saburo, nodding behind him to show it was time for them to back off. As much as your ‘ex’ wanted to continue shouting it was all too easy to lose him in the crowd once you got deeper into the festival grounds, exiting on the other side once you were positive the coast was clear.

“Who was that guy anyway?” Jiro asked as he fixed his hat, looking back with a scowl. “Seemed like a real jerk.”

“He was.” Ichiro agreed, looking to Saburo to see if the youngest in the group was unharmed. “You shouldn’t put yourselves in harms way like that. What if something happened?”

“Well, we couldn’t let anything happen to them, right? You wouldn’t so why should we have to sit back?”

“Jiro’s right about something for once.” Saburo agreed, Jiro looking quite proud before he realized what a backhanded compliment it was. “You told us to protect the people we care about and… and…”

Saburo is suddenly flustered and Jiro joined him in being embarrassed, knowing his thoughts had been along the same line (he just hadn’t spoken them out loud). You and Ichiro both shared a surprised look as you hadn’t realized how fond of you they really were, your heart once again overwhelmed with a hurricane of intense emotions. You reached out to wrap your arms around both of them in a tight hug, crying out something or other about how ridiculously cute they are. Ichiro watched with a smile as his brothers grew even more sheepish at your affection, noting that they both were still awkwardly patting your back to return the gesture in their own way.

Once you’ve returned to the Yamada household Jiro and Saburo said their goodnights, probably just as exhausted by the evenings events as you were. Ichiro invited you to sit on the couch beside him and you did so after changing into casual attire, leaning into his arms to experience the comfort you had craved for the past few hours.

“I’m guessing tonight would be a bad night to make it official?” Ichiro asked awkwardly.

“You were gonna… ask me out at the festival? Wait, I bet it was gonna be right before the fireworks, right? Just in case I said no and we could enjoy one last beautiful moment before my potential rejection.”

“I know I read a lot of light novels but I’m not that cliché,” Ichiro grinned, leaning over to kiss your cheek. “But… maybe. That would be a good hypothetical plan.”

“It would be… I really would’ve liked that. To have a moment under the fireworks with you.” You leaned over to return the affection, lips brushing against his cheek. “But my answer is yes, romantic fireworks present or not.”

“R-Really?” As much confidence as he had shown you throughout the night this is the first moment you’d ever seen him falter like that; you really would have to cherish that cute wide-eyed look on his face as you had a feeling it would be rarity.

“Yes, really. I would be some type of idiot to turn you down.”

“Nah, not an idiot.” Ichiro leaned in to press his lips against yours, savoring the feeling of your body pressing against his. “We should get some sleep, tonight was exhausting…”

“Are you sure sleep is what’s on your mind, baby?” Your sultry tone is noted immediately, Ichiro’s cheeks darkening at your implications. “Why don’t we make our way up to your bedroom and we’ll see how much sleep we’ll get tonight.”

[legends-live-in-memories]

Cut You Down to Size

AYO its Day 1 of the MGI Trope Tussle! I’m representing Team Enemies-to-Lovers! Lets Get It!

Fics Masterlist

Damigami 5.5K words Oneshot, no warnings apply

Summary:

Alfred signs Damian up for his school's fencing club. There he meets a red clad demon with a sabre.

Day 1 prompt: My name is unimportant— you, tyrant, will die today by my blade.

without further ado:

This was stupid. Damian could not understand Pennyworth’s logic behind signing him up for his school’s fencing club. He was a trained assassin, studying under the world’s greatest swordsmen, and no one at his school would be able to keep up with him. He was miles ahead in terms of technique and experience. So why on earth would he subject himself to this asinine, idle waste of time on a Saturday?

“Remember, young master, it is important to your father that you enjoy hobbies more suitable for others your age. All your other siblings have activities to distract them from the eccentricities of their nighttime activities.” Right, that’s why. Pennyworth spoke as if he were reminding an imbecile how to not walk into oncoming traffic and his tone grated on Damian’s nerves. “Don’t pout, Master Damian, it is unbecoming. Besides, it would make your father proud if you were able to blend in with other teens.”

He most definitely was not pouting but he could agree that making his father proud and not compromising their identities were important. His weary sigh was the only answer he gave to Pennyworth before stepping out of the car and entering the school gym. He squared his shoulders and adjusted the gym bag before striding to the gathering of other students on the mats. They were all in varying degrees of proper white fencing gear, a sharp contrast to Damian’s black uniform. He stood off the side, waiting for the instructor and pointedly ignoring the stares of the other students. Their attention was meaningless and Damian hoped they wouldn’t turn his presence into some spectacle.

The minutes ticked by, and his patience withering away with it, before the gym’s double doors were booming open. In walked the club’s instructor followed by what looked like another school’s club and instructor trailing behind her. Damian counted at least ten students, white uniforms perfectly in place with their array of masks tucked under their arms. However, one of those students caught his eye. The striking red uniform stood out against everyone else’s and the square to their shoulders spoke of confidence not unlike his own. A small part of Damian wonders if any of that confidence was well earned but the larger part of him knew that regardless of how good they thought they were, they were still no match for him.

“Good afternoon, everyone!” The crisp voice of his instructor echoed in the now silent gym as she commanded everyone’s attention. She looked rather pleased with herself and continued to speak, addressing the Gotham students. “As you can see here, I have a visiting school’s club with me, so please join me in welcoming Francois Dupont’s fencing club, who have come all the way from Paris to practice with us.”

A half hearted applause was all the reaction she got and it was at that point that Damian tuned out the rest of her introduction. His mind had wandered to less menial things, waiting for his time to show his more than impressive skills.

He was brought out of his musings by the shrill of a whistle and was staring face to face to a rather short girl from the French club. She was looking up at him with wide blue eyes before darting away to look over the other students pairing up. Her eyes had focused on a tall blond and his Gotham partner and Damian swore he saw her swoon. Great, a scatter-brained lovesick fool was his first partner. Clearly the universe was punishing him for transgressions he was not privy to. Before he could pass further judgment on his partner, she peered back to him and spoke in soft English.

“Hi, my name is Marinette. Nice to meet you!” She tried to sound confident but her awkwardness betrayed her and the hunch in her shoulders were telling. Alfred had taught him some manners, however, so rather than ignore her as he was wont to do, he greeted her with his name and ended the conversation there. She looked ready to speak again but was cut off by another harsh blow from the whistle.

“Alright, everyone. This is just a warm-up match. Nothing too fancy and remember the rules.” The French instructor’s accent was thick and he spoke with equal robustness to match the Gotham instructor. The two made quite the pair.

He faced his partner again and put enough space between them. They both put on their masks and were poised at the ready. Her pose was amateurish but definitely better than the others he’s caught in his periphery. The cry of ‘en garde’ sounded and Damian did not hesitate to try and score a point. Emphasis on ‘try.’ While if this were a real duel Damian would have won with no hesitation, he found that he didn’t need to hold back as much as he would if she were some of his classmates. Her technique was still sloppy but at least she showed potential.

The warm-up ended with Damian scoring three points in succession but there were, admittedly, some close calls. Next, they were rotating partners and Damian was partnered off with the blond from earlier. This close, Damian faintly recognized his face and verbalized as such. The sheepish scratch behind the blond’s neck was unexpected as was the declaration that he was a fashion model back in Paris. Adrien Agreste the boy had said. Damian then chalked up his previous partner’s behaviour to nothing more than to a silly celebrity crush. No further thought was put into their dynamics as the call for positions was announced.

This duel went slightly differently than Damian had expected. Like his previous partner, Agreste was much better than first impressions would suggest. While his previous partner had poor technique with intuition to back her up, Agreste had acceptable technique with his own personal twist. Agreste backed each strike with an edge that spoke of more roguish practice. It was almost entertaining but still no match for Damian superior skills. Perhaps he could convince his father to send him to Paris for the summer if this was the kind of students the city produced. This duel ended in three points in Damian’s favour as well but he conceded a point to Agreste who got a lucky strike in. Both boys took off their masks and shook hands as a five minute break was called. As Damian turned to reach for his water bottle on the bench, Agreste approached him with a heavy hand on his shoulder.

“I saw your match with Marinette,” he spoke with nothing short of excitement and slight wonder. “She’s new to the club but she’s a quick learner. I’m glad she joined and she seemed to enjoy warming up with you! What do you think?”

Huh.

Maybe Agreste was the adoring fan in their dynamic. Any more brightly, and the boy’s green eyes would be sparkling like fireworks as he continued to wax poetics about the short girl. That of which got annoying pretty quickly.

Another whistle, that French coach was rather annoying with the damn thing, was blown and the students made their way back to the mats. A new rotation was called and Damian was finally paired with the red fencer who caught his eye earlier. In contrast to his previous partners, this one stared at him with poorly hidden, yet unprovoked, contempt. The furrow in her brows and slight downturn in her lips was a mirror to Damian’s own expression. The air between them was charged as they both assessed each other. Neither spoke but neither was paying detailed attention to the instructors. Issuing a silent challenge, Damian tilted his head back to stare the shorter girl down by the tip of his nose, smirking at her increasingly furrowed expression. He scoffed at her as the call for putting on their masks was issued.

“Damian,” he said at last, getting into the starting position.

“My name is unimportant— you, tyrant, will die today by my blade.”

Not even Damian’s brothers were that theatrical; his sister? Maybe. And perhaps Todd, but that’s irrelevant. Was she for real or was this a taunt that got lost in translation? Just who was she? From an outsider’s perspective, the two of them painted quite an interesting picture, posed in their black and red uniforms, a vision against the whites of their clubmates. The air was rich with their slowly growing disdain for each other. The instructor’s voice of ‘en garde’ was drowned out by their hurried movements.

It didn’t take long for Damian to deduce that his opponent was undoubtedly the best of the French group. Her moves were punctuated with needle-like precision and each attack was laced with slowly growing malice at the challenge. Damian didn’t have to hold back nearly as much as he had, once again, underestimated his opponent. There’s a lesson to be learned here but he would never give Pennyworth that satisfaction. The butler’s smug grin and echoed voice of ‘you are not nearly as infallible as you believe, Master Damian’ arose in his mind and the irritation at the notion was channelled directly into his current duel. He struck out with more aggression than he initially had intended to but, as it had put his opponent on the defensive, he wasn’t going to rear his anger in. Instead, he let it fuel his movements more, pushing his opponent off the mat as they danced across the floor.

This only spurred his nameless opponent on more as she matched him strike for strike in equal aggression. Damian wasn’t sure if it was due to his sudden tunnel vision but he could have sworn that the world narrowed to only the two of them, the clash of their weapons being the only sound he could hear. Time faded into nothing and all his focus was on parrying and attacking and lunging and parrying again in a vicious cycle. Points were earned back and forth but no time was called in between to award either of them. This wasn’t a match for points. This was war. A battle to the death issued by the red demon before him. She was no longer just a practice partner or an aggravating opponent. This was his enemy now. Damian would not fail. Damian Wayne doesn’t lose after all.

The shrill of a whistle had the two freezing in place. Giving himself a few seconds to collect himself, Damian felt as if he was coming out of a haze. He watched as the red fencer before him relaxed her posture and turned to face the French coach. Taking off his mask and catching his breath, he noticed that the two of them held the collective attention of the two clubs.

“Now THAT is fencing!” The French coach’s boisterous voice echoed in the gym and was accompanied by his harsh clapping. His two previous practice partners were equally as enthusiastic but subdued in their applause, sporting matching grins at the red fencer. Damian could only glare at the students, refusing to acknowledge his opponent.

The rest of practice went on as such for the next hour but none of the other French fencers captivated him like the first three. They must have had private tutors as they were obviously a cut above the rest. Practice ended without much fanfare and Damian found himself waiting for Pennyworth outside the school gates as the French class were loading their bus. He only caught the tail end of the slight murmurs of conversation but Damian caught the Agreste boy referring to the red fencer as Kagami. Hmm.

Pennyworth pulled up shortly after and once he was inside the vehicle, Pennyworth didn’t hesitate to question him about the experience.

“There was a visiting French club. They were lackluster and struggled to keep up with me even with me holding back.” He refused to look the old man in the eye, glancing a knowing smirk on his aged face. “Three of them showed promise. But I was still superior in every way.”

“Well then, I hope they didn’t tire you out completely. I believe we are expecting some of those same French students over for dinner this afternoon.”

“Pardon?” Damian could not be bothered to compose his irritation at Pennyworth’s brazen declaration. Why was he just learning about this now? “Any idea who exactly will be joining us?”

“I believe Madame Dupain-Cheng, Madame Tsurugi and Mister Agreste all agreed.” Agreste? The model boy. Damian was willing to bet that Dupain-Cheng was the short girl from the warm-up as the two seemed fond of each other. That would probably make Tsurugi his red opponent, Kagami. But that begs the question why they were invited to dinner. Schooling his expression and gaining some more composure, Damian addressed the butler again.

“Any reason why those students in particular?” Aiming for an aura of nonchalance, he continued. “It’s quite the coincidence as those were the three French students I mentioned showing promise. Why were they invited?”

Pennyworth saw right through him and casted a humoured glance at his reflection in the rearview mirror.

“Oh, I would say that Madame Tsurugi shows more than just promise, Master Damian. She is an Olympic hopeful after all.” That… That makes sense Damian supposes. It would definitely explain her confidence and skill. But she still irritated him.

“And what of the other two?”

“Those two would be Madame Tsurugi’s closest friends. Their club is here on a Wayne Foundation sponsorship and your father personally invited Madame Tsurugi to dinner.” Pennyworth paused as he turned into the manor gates. “She and her mother agreed to the invitation on the condition that the young lady’s friends be invited as well. I see they have left quite the impression on you.”

“They require further judgement,” and the conversation died there.

Ignoring the crowd of his siblings upon entering the manor, Damian went straight for his room to research more on his new rival and company.

After two hours of constant research, he was reluctant to admit that the three were rather accomplished in their own rights, and that he had completely misjudged them. Dupain-Cheng was a talented baker and designer and was indeed a fast learner, only officially being in the fencing club for two months. She was also in a new relationship with Agreste. That explains the sappiness and nauseating shower of compliments. Agreste himself was a budding pianist on top of his modelling and fencing prowess. He even featured in some gigs by a local popular band. Tsurugi was more than just an Olympic hopeful, coming from a famous line of fencers and kendo masters back in Japan. She has a roster of competitions won and is currently holding three world titles for her age group. He supposes that that’s quite impressive. But it still doesn’t supersede his training. Would it be improper to challenge her to another duel when she arrives? Probably.

Checking the time, he realized there was forty minutes until dinner and only ten until the three guests arrived. He freshened up his appearance and changed out of his fencing gear into more appropriate attire. He headed down to the foyer to wait with his siblings in greeting their guests. Cain stood next to him and gave him a quick once-over glance. She didn’t say anything but her giggles did not bode well for Damian.

The door was being held open as their three guests walked in and they all wore matching expressions of surprise as their gaze landed on Damian. They greeted his father and each of his siblings, exchanging quick hello’s before the Agreste boy regarded Damian.

“Hey! You’re that guy from the fencing club.” All eyes were on Damian in an instant, his siblings wearing various ranges of delight.

“Yes, he is that guy from the fencing club. Tell us everything,” Todd interjected. He swung a casual arm around Agreste and began herding them further into the manor towards the drawing room. Before Damian can begin to preserve his reputation, Todd and Agreste were already in deep conversation with random input from Dupain-Cheng and Grayson. Tsurugi hung back from the herd and was thanking his father for the invitation. Her calm, withdrawn voice was very different from the scorn she was showering him with during their duel. She caught him staring at her and just ignored him, brushing past him to follow quickly behind the others. He caught his father’s eye and regarded the man silently. Even when maintaining public appearances, his father never did anything without reason. So what was the value in inviting some French kids his company was sponsoring? Olympic grade or not, it was still uncharacteristically more involved than other other company sponsorships in the past.

What was his father’s angle here?

He hoped it didn’t involve playing nice with Tsurugi because her frigid disposition is more trouble than it’s worth. The karma is not lost on him.

Entering the drawing room, he walks into the middle of Agreste illustrating the nature of his duel against Tsurugi. He added unnecessary flourish, making the match seem more grandiose than it really was. He would deny any and all effort exerted as that was a sign of weakness. Damian was not weak.

“I’ll have you know,” he began, collecting their undivided attention, again. “The match with Tsurugi was child’s play. I only entertained her for so long because I thought she could provide some real competition. Clearly, I was mistaken,” he said, like a liar.

“I am more than just competition.” Tsurugi had stood from her place on the sofa to try and face him on even ground. She was still shorter than him but the intimidation was rolling off her in waves. “I will prove to you that I am a worthy opponent.”

That was an invitation for a rematch if Damian’s ever heard one. As he was about to accept the challenge, Pennyworth entered with an announcement of dinner, guiding everyone into the appropriate dining room. His siblings rushed for various seats, splitting up their guests and mixing them in with their chaos. The seating arrangement his siblings had orchestrated had him sitting directly across from the current bane of his existence. The two regarded each other silently, trapped in their own quiet bubble separate from the ruckus of the table.

The dinner was wonderful, as usual, and conversation was as normal as this family was capable of. Except for the intense staring contest he was engaged in with his enemy. She was civil, cordial even, with the rest of the family, sharing jokes with Cain and Thomas with no issue and handled Todd’s annoyance with grace but she couldn’t get a reign on her disdain for Damian. He faintly noticed her two friends exchange curious glances with each other. He paid them no mind; his attention lying elsewhere.

“So, Kagami,” Drake’s voice cut through the loud atmosphere, silencing the table. “You mentioned earlier that you will prove to Damian that you’re a worthy opponent. How do you plan to go about that?” He tried to go for casual but he failed and Damian knew he was doing it just to get a reaction out of him.

“A battle to the death of course,” she was quick with her reply and her tone had no hints of humor. She means every word of that statement. Equal expressions of shock were on his family’s faces, no one knowing what to say. A distasteful snort from the blond cut through the air.

“Kagami,” her friend, Dupain-Cheng, had cut in with a slight chuckle, “I don’t think they know you’re joking.”

“My apologies, then.” Her lips were curled in a faint smirk and then she said, “While I initially had all intentions to contest his false assessment, over the course of the dinner, I have concluded that he is someone not worth the effort.” She took a sip of her drink, completely ignoring the uproar of taunts and jeers his siblings threw his way.

Damian was not going to take that insult sitting down.

“That’s it, Tsurugi,” he rose from his seat, the scrape of the chair on the hardwood floors hushing the peanut gallery. “You wanted a duel, I’ll give you a duel. A clash of swords seems fitting, don’t you think?” He felt quite satisfied with himself, so much so he was completely ignorant to the whispers of his siblings with their guests. His attention was solely on the red demon.

“While I can’t persuade you both from not doing this,” his father’s tired voice was firm and imposing; he looked like he’s aged a few years since the start of the evening, “I must insist on using only the wooden practice swords you have. No real blades allowed. Am I understood?”

It wasn’t really a question as there was no room for refutation but Damian was grateful his father didn’t try to put a stop to the entire thing anyways. A challenge was issued and Damian was going to see it through.

After Pennyworth cleared the table and set about doing other chores, they made their way to the manor’s gym with the exclusion of his father. A mat was already laid out and he went to retrieve the practice swords. They were fashioned to mimic his katana and the familiar weight was comfortable in his grip. Tsurugi was surveying the wooden blade and assessing the balance of the handle before setting into a comfortable starting stance. They weren’t bound by fencing rules this time and he felt the lack of restrictions to be freeing. Grayson had declared himself ring master and was counting down to start them off. Drake was holding a camera, most likely recording, and Todd was conspiring with Dupain-Cheng and Thomas in the corner. Agreste and Cain were observing like normal people—Damian failed to see them silently exchange some cash— and he ignored them all to focus on the foe before him.

Grayson’s call for ‘go’ set them off like steam engines, their swords crashing into each other in heavy strikes. Using his advantageous size, Damian pushed back and swiped for her legs. She blocked the attack, sword intercepting his, swinging her back leg behind her to kick at his chest. He recoiled at the contact and the pressure of her boots before aiming a broad sweep over head, bringing his arms down in a wide arc. She blocks that as well, but was brought down to a knee, all her focus in holding her blade across the palm of hand. She pushes against his force and rolls under his blade, tucking herself into a ball before uncurling behind him. Her next strike is aimed for his back but Damian is quick on the defensive and knocks her blade away before stepping into her space. His shoulder clips her chin and he takes the opportunity to elbow her below her chest. He swings around to strike her down but she ducks and swipes at his legs. He jumps over the arc of her blade but isn’t prepared for the kick in his chest as he lands.

He steps back a couple paces to get air back in his lungs as Tsurugi gains her own bearings. They’re both breathing heavily and the gym is silent save for Todd’s inappropriate wolf-whistle. Ignoring him, as usual, he focuses back on his opponent. On the subtle rise and fall of her shoulders, her lean but firm arms holding the sword out pointing at him. Her short bob is in disarray and her brown eyes burn into him like molten lava. Her stare is intense and almost freezes him completely in place.

A second ticks by. Then another. The entire room feels like a stifled exhale, cautious not to disturb the fragile atmosphere. The energy is broken by a charge from Tsurugi as she strikes across his chest, colliding with his blade. Their swords are crossed and they both lean into the push, faces mere inches apart as they try to get the upper hand. Neither was budging, willing to submit to the other.

Damian found himself revelling in the intense focus of her gaze. Even growing up in the League, his mentors always held back, not wanting to accidentally kill their master’s heir. His siblings were no better, always underestimating him, never taking his challenges seriously. But Tsurugi? She matched him blow for blow without hesitation. Without fear and without judgement. The lack of threat of death hanging over him made the fight that much more enjoyable. If he were anymore focused on his own expression, he would have found a smile, not a smirk or a half-hearted grimace, but an honest-to-god smile. A grin even.

Tipping the fight in his favour, he aims a kick to Tsurugi’s knee, and turns out of their lock of swords. Feeling emboldened, he takes to taunting his opponent.

“You know, you are a lot better than I thought you would be,” he swings his sword around aimlessly, waiting for her to get up again. “But you’re still no match for me.”

Rather than respond, Tsurugi swipes up at him, both hands on her sword hilt, in a broad arc. Her body follows through with the motion, with her back leg sweeping the floor gently, her back to him by the end. Damian sees the opportunity and lunges to attack her now open back. He’s almost flushed against her with his sword about to press into the curve of her spine except his swing is intercepted by his opponent's block. She had anticipated his move and swung her arms over her head, carrying the blade behind her to protect her. Damian’s blood runs white hot with the shame of falling for her feint. Still held in this position, Tsurugi casts a smirk over her shoulder, head tilted back towards his chest. The position, with the exception of their swords, has them appearing to be in a dance, with his partner—no, opponent— ready to be spun out in a graceful turn.

“Are you sure?” her voice was rough with exertion and tainted with glee, “You seem to have failed to gain any substantial upperhand.” She kicks back into his shin and then steps out of his space, spinning under her arms, keeping her sword against his. Now facing him directly, Damian can see the fire shining in her brown eyes, ablaze with excitement and ferocity.

“Don’t think yourself so high and mighty,” he started to step to his right, trying to prepare for another attack but she matched him in moves and now they were slowly circling each other.

“Ironic coming from you, I’m sure.” Her tone was flat but her eyes glimmered with amusement. Her blade shifted ever so subtly, pointing further down Damian’s body, aimed directly for his stomach. Damian takes a chance and steps into her space, left arm gradually inching towards her sword hilt. Using his longer legs, he sweeps one under her stance, hooking his ankle around hers.

It happens in slow motion. Or at least, it felt like it did. He’s bringing his leg back towards himself, knocking her off center, balancing on an unsteady leg. He’s grabbed her sword hilt and is pushing her arms and the sword above her head while his own sword slides to place against her throat. He pushes further into her space, leaning over her and bending her back, almost chest to chest, nose to nose with his sword in the breath between them. Their precarious position cants them completely off balance and she’s fallen with him on top of her. Her arms are pinned firmly above her now, her grip on her sword long forgotten, and Damian’s weight is balanced on his knees, preserving any dignity he has left. They’re still so close to each other, the weight of his blade gingerly pressing into the lines of her neck. Her head is tilting back, a futile attempt to escape him and once she acknowledges that, Damian can feel the muscles in her arms relax beneath his vice-like grip. They’re staring at each other, and Damian finds himself not wanting to look away.

Oh.

Oh.

In his seven years of living with his father’s family, he never understood how his father could casually welcome thieves and assassins into his bed. How his brothers surrounded themselves with people equally dangerous. How his sister would challenge an opponent she knew she couldn’t beat. How they could all flirt with danger and not even question it. Now he understood. It was a heady rush, like a freefall without certainty of a parachute or a net. It was an addictive type of excitement to come face to face with someone who doesn’t look at him with fear but with equal competition. He could get used to this.

A click of a camera shutter and Pennyworth’s attention-grabbing ‘ahem’ brought him out of his own head. He saw Tsurugi blink herself out of a similar daze and look towards her friends. Finally registering their compromising position, Damian began to extract himself from her. Now standing, and trying to tidy his appearance, he tossed his wooden sword to the side and extended a hand out to the still lying girl.

“I win,” he says, and the taunt falls flat even to his own ears. He clears his throat and tries again. “You are a decent opponent. It was an honor to go against someone of your caliber.”

She accepts his offered hand and as he’s pulling her up, she takes the opportunity to pull him in closer.

“I admit defeat,” her eyes are still intense but softens as she continues speaking, “and there is clearly more I can learn from you. The club is in Gotham for two more weeks for the competition next week. I am willing to have you as my teacher if you accept.”

A pretty pink blush colours her cheeks and Damian can feel his face match hers in intensity. Before he could answer her, her blond friend interrupts them, cutting into their little bubble.

“That means she’s asking you on a date.” His hands are cupping his mouth like a megaphone and he stage whispers for all their captive audience to hear. “Say yes.”

His siblings are eyeing between him and the French teens like they’re spectating an interesting tennis match. Not given the chance to answer, again, Cain replies for him.

“He says yes. Next Friday, after school.” Her reply is curt but the curl of her lips illustrates her delight in the entire situation. His cheeks are even warmer now and he still hasn’t stepped out of Tsurugi’s space and were they always standing this close?

Looking back to Tsurugi he sees that her attention is still on the others and her face is graced with a gentle smile.

“I accept your offer,” her head swivels back to him as he speaks, and there is a slight glimmer to her eyes, hope dancing in pools of warm chocolate. “If your friend was right about your true intentions, then I accept that offer. There is a lot I could learn from you as well.”

“Yes, and I am also available on Friday if your sister is to be believed.” Her hushed voice is drowned out by the uproar of his siblings and he catches a glimpse of Dupain-Cheng jumping in place.

“I can’t believe he actually said yes.” Thomas.

“I can’t believe she’s actually into him,” Drake.

“I had good money on him making a fool of himself, shame.” Todd, who then gets elbowed by Grayson. He ignores them all, staring down at the increasingly embarrassed girl before him.

He goes to speak but a pink blur is knocking Tsurugi on the ground in a heap of limbs. They’re giggling and babbles about double dates filter through so he doesn’t worry too much and then a weight settles on his shoulder, surprising him. Agreste had somehow snuck up on him and was patting him in a false sense of comradery.

“Well that was an interesting turn of events. They grow up so fast,” he fake sniffles, wiping nonexistent tears from his eyes. Damian is not fond of the familiar theatrics. “I agree with your siblings, I didn't think you would agree. Especially with the looks of bloody murder you were giving us during practice today.”

He scoffs and lets the subtle accusation roll off his back. Agreste continues as if he weren’t interrupted.

“Clearly you two flirt the same way. Violently.” He’s cut off from speaking as Tsurugi had hit him with one of the discarded swords from her place on the floor.

“At least I don’t hesitate or dance around my intended target like a fool, like you two,” she was pouting but her voice held traces of humour and inside jokes that had Dupain-Cheng whining like a child and Agreste acting all sheepish.

“Yeah, okay, that’s fair but can you blame us?” Agreste went ignored as everyone devolved into laughter at their antics.

Damian chanced a glance at Tsurugi to see her very comfortable with Dupain-Cheng’s weight on top of her, laughing at Agreste’s expense. She must have felt his eyes on her and glance at him shyly, laughter dying to a small smile on her lips.

Damian thought to himself that Friday couldn’t come fast enough.

[cancerjupiter]

astro notes: neptune edition (pt. 2)

neptune represents issues which are frequently unconscious, so all of this may operate without your awareness. if projected, the negative aspects of neptune become more emphasised. the more you reject it in your own life, the more likely it is that you’ll meet it in exaggerated ways outside yourself.

neptune in the 7th house

this is another loaded placement; you are likely to encounter difficulties in the area of personal relationships. there are many manifestations of this placement: you may look for a savior to ease the feelings of loneliness and isolation rather than taking responsibility by becoming your own person, you might wish to merge with your partner. if you become too dependent on anyone, they’re going to let you down one way or another. the alternative manifestation is you playing savior to your partner. hence, the reputation of this placement as a magnet to victim types (negatively: drug addicts, unstable people w a shady/difficult past, “artists”, wannabe geniuses and prophets, etc) who need a lot of mothering and cleaning up after.

wherever neptune is placed in the chart, a lot is asked of us. you often give a lot in relationships - often sacrificing things for the sake of your partner. some of you exhibit a kind of selfless, saintly love worthy of true respect, but this can easily turn into letting yourself being walked over as if you have no rights in the relationship. there is a fine line between authentic selflessness and tolerance and just being a doormat. your often idealized romantic notion of what a relationship looks like doesn’t consider the hard work that must be put into it. the yearning for perfection in your partner + the relationship actually makes you very difficult people to live with. unconsciously, you can be very critical and judgemental about the other’s flaws or whatever element they have that doesn’t match your notion of Love. soulmates can still argue about the way the other squeezes the toothpaste tube, it doesn’t mean the love isn’t very much real. ultimately, this planet should represent a non-attached love, a love that doesn’t cling or swallow up any of the people involved. somewhere between demanding others adjust to you, or always adjusting yourselves to others, is the kind of envisioned neptunian love.

neptune in the 8th house

if neptune can’t be at home (12th house) then his next favorite house is that of his bestie, pluto (8th). neptune’s major thrust is the loss of boundaries - what better place to lose them than in the house of sex, sharing and intimacy?

sex is often symbolic in this position; rather than just being enjoyed for its sake, it is the means to alleviate psychological pressures and concerns. sex is also a way of merging with others, hence transcending the means of oneself. i’ve noticed physical intimacy is also an escape from loneliness, and the promiscuity associated w this placement comes from this. some may feel that giving themselves sexually is also a way of serving. this placement is also present in people confused about their sexual identities. neptune is so diffuse and adaptable, so fluid and shapeless, that they have difficulty knowing what they really want. conversely, problematic aspects to saturn may suggest a fear of letting go - a tension between holding on and letting go (abstaining from sex altogether). my friend with this placement told me she always fantasizes about people she isn’t with rather than her girlfriend. neptune is never content with what it has. besides, if you know someone too well, their alien magnetism eventually wears out.

there may be complications and strange circumstances in the area of the partner’s money and joint finances. economic losses and gains will have a significant psychological impact, and could ultimately stop you from finding security inwardly rather than on the material world. in any case, you should seek advice for making financial investments. depending on the aspects, non-material forces can operate constructively or destructively within you. positively, you’ll receive guidance and inspiration as if out of nowhere and are well advised to keep up a dream diary, for they may prove significant to whatever you’re going through. you may serve as a source of comfort and inspiration for others who are going through crisis (david bowie, malcolm x, simone de beauvoir, etc); negatively, you may feel possessed - as if you’ve been taken over by something powerful outside yourself. you may receive misleading guidance from other dimension.

since neptune wants to go Home and the 8th house is the house of Death, some people w this placement may entertain self-destructive fantasies when life gets too tough. unless neptune has harsh aspects to saturn, there isn’t a fear of death, since the desire to transcend worlds is so strong.

neptune in the 9th house

both neptune and the 9th house have a tendency to need the “right” answer, there’s a possibility for an enduring search for The Truth (think Mulder from the x-files). both are mutable and connected to faith and beliefs. both are haunted by the need for perfection due to unrealistic expectations. neither is noted for common sense or doing anything half-assed. the thing is, this placement will tend to overemphasise whatever issues are valued to you. naturally, pisces (neptune) is square sagittarius (9th house), indicating some conflict to be resolved. neptune in the 9th is also a mix of fire and water, giving it a great emotional intensity.

there’s two types of you: those who will lean towards the 9th house and say the truth no matter who gets hurt; and those who follow neptune and choose to lie to protect others’ feelings. you’re pulled in both directions and will need to find a middle ground to satisfy your need for truth and others at the same time. if you don’t, explosions of repressed feelings will occur that will seem OOC for the people around you. you also must be wary of your expectations with education; being educated about everything won’t fulfill every need in you.

balance is an important lesson for you. you always want to go overboard w the next big idea; the challenge is to act on them practically and without dangerous disruptions in other areas of your life. examine your personal beliefs, conscious and unconscious. clarify your expectations about truth, philosophy and the meaning of life.

neptune in the 10th house

positively, someone with this placement can be drawn into a deeply spiritual or creative career, or maybe something to do with counseling. you’ll be inclined to dedicate a great deal of time and energy to said career because it provides you with an enormous sense of fulfillment that you don’t find in other areas of life. you might as well revolve your life around your job. that’s fine, as long as you stay aware of your choice and make the effort to cultivate some personal relationships and outside interests. you tend to be happiest when working - with something you love, obviously. you may feel a responsibility to contribute something meaningful to the world, whether in terms of helping others or creatively. that’s great, but you’ll also feel your work is just that, a contribution - a piece in the grand scheme of things.

you’ll be a great deal happier when employed, but you also need to feel you’re improving; you’re ambitious, whether or not you’re aware of it. you always have an eye in the possibility of promotion, for the 10th house is not only about a career but to success defined in worldly terms. this means an unconscious need to gain more and more, in position, status and salary. if this remains unconscious, you might let it take over your life. few people find lifetime satisfaction within a career unless it’s spiritual, educational or creative. 

negatively, this placement finds people who can’t find satisfaction anywhere outside their job. such person lives for her job, and expects it to provide for all needs: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. they may expect the job itself to be perfect, and be miserable when it’s not. another negative expression is the indecision regarding a career, not being able to truly commit to anything. you want something big and important, something perfect (ps: it doesn’t exist), something better and of more help to humanity than anyone else has come up with. yet you often expect to accomplish this without any training or effort.

this placement might also refer to the father (10th house = saturn): you might think the world of your dad and wish to be like him or, negatively, you may have expected him to be perfect. some of you might have him on a pedestal and not accept the idea of him being less than perfect. or he might’ve been a strange figure; he might’ve been withdrawn, either a victim or simply a loner. he may have died or left your life altogether, leaving you with a fantasy figure, a father who only exists in your mind. you’ll benefit greatly by examining your beliefs about his importance in your life. you might avoid thinking of him altogether and the same is true of your career: you might expect far too much or deny its importance.

neptune in the 11th house

this placement inspires a natural caring for others and immediate feeling of bonding and solidarity with those with whom wer share this planet. many have an utopian visions and will join groups that promote humanitarian or social causes. you feel the need to participate w other in bringing their idea of good into the world. you’ll likely fight for the underdog. if some segment of society is mistreated, you feel it as if it were happening to you. some might be more attracted to artistic or spiritual groups. if neptune has hard aspects, your group might have big ideas but never bring them to fruition.

in less politically minded people, group activities can simply be a way of escaping routine. you could lose yourselves in a social whirl, seeking ever more interesting friends and parties. if neptune is badly aspected, there could be disillusionment or deception through friendships. you easily feel your friendship ideals are being betrayed. some may even manipulate friends by making them feel sorry for you. another manifestation of this placement is that your friends carry the neptunian projection: you might find yourself drawn to artists, healers, romantic daydreamers, or just losers lmao.

neptune in the 12th house

ahh, neptune at home. this can be a double dose of either comfort or dissatisfaction. the hardest part of this placement is the lack of consciousness about itself and how it operates. what works from the unconscious has far more power to affect us than we think. 

it might be difficult for you to think about your own values; they’re so unquestioned as to be beyond challenge. you think they simply are what they are, and resist any categorisation or definition. you can’t separate yourself from them. with neptune here, you’re less connected to the material world than others, more in tune with the spiritual one. you could well have psychic abilities. you never fully embrace “reality” because you’re aware, if only barely, that the universe encompasses so much more than our minds can handle. the danger is that you’ll come to this conclusion before developing any ego strenght. with ego strenght, you honor yourself as well as your vision; without it you’ll tend to be overwhelmed and easily terrified.

with neptune in the 12th, you need to take a long hard look at your tendency to idealise peace, universal love, sacrifice and service, art and music, and the spiritual path. this placement isn’t a problem by itself, unless there’s other contradicting placements or bad aspects. if nothing is repressed or ignored, it’s actually a fantastic gift. the main problem is the aforementioned lack of awaress of what your values mean and how they affect the quality of your life. my friend with this placement feels that death is simply another step of growth for the soul; of course she grieves, but she tends to think everything happens for a reason. i deeply admire her ability to live in touch with both the material and spiritual world.