#there are only 40 fics in the tag and tbh that's not enough there should be MORE DAMMIT

[blue-ravens]

anyway i'm meant to be doing other things but i'm going to rec you some charles/donna fics because i love you and i want you to read good fic. you're welcome!!

(and yes i'm biased they're all by my friends and partners in crime, but they have exquisite taste and talent for days so yeah why wouldn't you read these 💜)

by AO3 user stregatrek: i didn't realise it (but love was in your eyes) / like real people do / as the lily among the thorns, so is my love / wish that you were here (series)

by tumblr user @patsdrabbles/@vanillatumbleweedscoffee: stellar / i spy a spy spider / snow kisses

by tumblr user @movietonight: decrescendo / roll over beethoven (WIP)

by tumblr user @cuddleswinchester: winchester saga (series) (also I know this author has written more fic in this 'verse, however they are still in my TBR pile, and i just know they're gonna be good)

by tumblr user @onekisstotakewithme: in all confidence / don't you hear me calling you / call me home / holy / always by your side (charles/donna/hawkeye) / that which is precious / all's well that mends well / shizukana yoi ni, hikario tomoshi (in the quiet of the night, let our candle always burn) / sweet talk / getting to like you (getting to hope you like me) (co-written by daylight_angel) / home (series) (multiple pairings, but an off-menu charles/donna edit can be available upon request 😉) / but you dream of some epiphany / o promise me / in the fields of france / not on your life / finest kind: the 4077 mash

🫐🥞

[imbellarosa]

Let’s Talk Calm-ly about Two Loves

OR: When you’re a grown man who writes stories for a living, you definitely wrote your own weird bedtime story, too. 

The TLDR here is that H has taken one specific listener around the globe, notably to Tokyo and Jamaica. He quotes an old Victorian Poet who was an awful human but who’s lasting legacy is the phrase “a love that dare not speak its name” which is - you guessed it - a reference to queer love. He also is super excited to spend what seems like the foreseeable future with this listener and has bought a little house with a garden of daisies with them and it’s very sweet and domestic. Anyways this is a wild time and it’s all under a cut because it’s...really a lot. 

Anyways I think the people I owe thank yous this times around to are @queenlokibeth​ who had to listen to me scream about this for a while, Astrid, who screamed with me when this came out, and “M” who convinced me to finally get to work in this fandom. And, of course, all of the lovely people tagged below who’s work I used to build my argument. 

1.) Who Wrote “Dream With Me”? 

Well, not H, or so the story goes. Two other people (Steve Cleverly and Sanj Sen) did! I mean, right, okay, for a while I was like...that seems like an odd choice for a man who didn’t want to hand Two Ghosts over to his own band because it seemed too personal. He wrote on every song in both albums’ he’s released thus far, because he seems to be passionate about telling the stories he wants to tell (even if he won’t tell you explicitly what they’re about). But for a while, I was totally going with the flow there, and the rest of this analysis would still stand: the writer of this story definitely referenced a poem by Lord Alfred Douglas and Harry’s own songs. 

However, I then read this fun quote from the Co-founder and CEO of Calm: 

“Well,” he said, “The the Harry Styles one is interesting because that came purely from Harry Styles himself...we took the approach of creating a sort of musical epic poem – he doesn’t sing, it’s spoken with poetry, but there’s a sort of musical sound bed to it and it’s pulling on things and themes that Harry’s fans really adore about him and associate with him. So his story was driven really by him – we really created a concept around him.” 

-  Chris Advansun, July 7th, 2020 via @hlupdate​

And I thought, hmmm. This does not sound like a project that he was not involved in creating. From this point on (July, 7th 2020), I began to think of it as a three way co-collaboration between him and the other two authors. But this confused me a bit, because there was largely a nonreaction from the fandom. I was waiting for an actual transcript, because I always fall asleep to these meditation stories, but it was being referenced to as some sort of Y/N fic, which was...honestly not what I expected, but also not implausible, thanks to the ~lovely~ image this man has had since the age of sixteen. But also, twitter seemed to be concerned by other things at the moment, and no one was analyzing the story. . 

In fact, I messaged a friend the day that this story dropped, because it had been kind of a shit show day on Twitter. Rumors were sort of flying about everyone and everything: had Liam shaved his head? Was he engaged? Had he and Maya broken up? Were Zayn and Gigi engaged? Had they broken up? Did Niall have a girlfriend? (this one was true lol). Were Elounor engaged? Were they pregnant? Had they broken up??? My personal fav was the bald Liam rumor, which he promptly put to rest in LP Act 1 by...having a huge mane of hair. 

So then I thought - huh. Why has today looked like this? I’m not saying that there aren’t days that twitter goes wild because of boredom, because there definitely is - the articles about secret meetings in Italy that are coming out this week (8/12/2020) are proof positive. So that definitely does happen, but it doesn’t usually happen on the days that there’s a lot of content. And maybe I’ve just been starved for content in this fandom, but I would consider a 40 minute video quite a bit of content. 

Then the transcript dropped. I’m using two as references - this one on Wattpad and also @carl-and-pearl ‘s version here (thank you so much for the transcript!!). We’re going to get into a more detailed description of what’s going on in the story, but the first thing I recognized immediately is that it was first person POV. I knew that going in, based on the number of Y/N jokes going around on twitter. Then I read it aloud, and I realized that it read like a letter. Like an experience specific to the writer and the reader. And while that’s not super uncommon to write about an experience from the author’s POV - I listen to a podcast called Nothing Much Happens: bedtime stories for adults which has a similar concept - I thought it was odd that they were trying to include both the author and the listener. I completely understood why the y/n jokes were pertinent. But at the same time, it felt like something had snagged in my mind - like a particularly annoying splinter. 

The conversations I was having around this story - completely based on the content, concept, and my own instinct - was that this story contained specific references to one person. I thought that it did read like a love letter, and that most identifying features would have been taken out, but the essence remained. Which, once I thought about it, was something that H excelled at doing. Think about Sunflower Vol 6 and Adore You and Canyon Moon and even Watermelon Sugar and Golden.  Ask yourself, What do I know about the person they are about? They have skin that browns, they have a secret, they have mesmerizing eyes, they’re willing to dance in the kitchen with him (to dancehall), they have a belly, they’ve been through hard times, they’re witty, they have an accent, and they have lips. I know - super specific right?

So the splinter grew into a thorn - what was I missing? And then - when I was looking for something completely different - I stumbled upon this old interview Harry did with Zach Sang and the Gang Show back in 2017.  For context, he was being asked about Sweet Creature. As you can imagine, it’s hard for people to believe he wrote such a beautiful love song when he hadn’t ever really had a long term relationship (two hearts in one home?? Who did you move in with, you can imagine them asking. When did you have time?). So what did he have to say about this?

"In my opinion,” he explained, “I think most songs are written for one listener. Maybe there's one thing in there that only they'll notice about them.... It's so much easier to say something in a song than it is to say it to someone and I think it's really amazing to be able to communicate through that and be able to wrap up everything that you want to say in three and a half minutes and say it in a song."

- HS, May 3 2017

By this time, please believe that I was screeching. Seeing this felt like he put into words the exact feeling I had about “Dream With Me”. It felt like a nod to someone that I didn’t know, which made the story hard to listen to, tbh. Although, I will say that when I did finally listen to it, it knocked me out and gave me odd dreams so. Once was enough for me haha! 

So my new operating theory is exactly what Advansun said: I think that H was the primary writer/the driving force behind the story. Because of the references I’m about to run through, because it feels like the way he tells stories, and because they admitted to him being more involved than they originally claimed. That’s going to be how I write the rest of the analysis - under the impression that H had a direct hand in the story that was being put forth. However, I think that the analysis itself would stand whether or not he wrote any of it. It would just be a more tenuous reflection of him than I believe it to be. 

2.) How Do I Love Thee? In Two Ways. 

Before I jump into the story, let’s talk a little about the poem that I want to compare it to: Two Loves, by Lord Alfred Douglas.  Let’s be clear this is not at all a defense of who Bosie was - he was a terrible person, particularly in his later years, when he’d converted to Catholicism and turned his back on his younger self, and his partner, Oscar Wilde. He was violently anti-Semitic, and turned his back on his own community. I want to get this out of the way because I very much believe that we should examine artists for who they are. That is, after all, what I am trying to do here. 

But his poem Two Loves has often been used - much to his disappointment, I’m sure - as an exploration of queer love in Victorian times. A line that I will be exploring more deeply in a second was in fact used against Oscar Wilde in his trail for indecency . He attempted - unsuccessfully - to explain it away, but it was too blatantly about their relationship for even the British Victorian society to ignore. I really, really recommend a read of this poem, because it is - despite it’s author - a good piece of work, which explores the themes of shame and love and longing between two men in that time. 

I’m going to start with my own background, as someone who’s analyzed fandoms before. I first came across this poem in the Sherlock fandom, with this analysis by @the-7-percent-solution​, when I was running in that fandom, and she explains the poem brilliantly in just a few lines. I’m going to take a little longer to run through it, but if you want a concise explanation and a brilliant meta, I encourage you to run to their blog and check it out. That fandom taught me most everything I know about catching symbols and recurring themes and “clueing for looks” and I love it desperately, still. 

But we’re here to talk about this fandom, so on with the poem! Essentially, the poem outlines a dream the speaker had: In his dream, he’s standing in a field with flowers - beautiful ones of all kind - and he meets this young man with clear blue eyes and bright red lips and they kiss a bit and have a picnic, and it’s all lovely. If you think I’m kidding, I’m really not. Please, read it for yourself. 

Anyways, after they did they did the whole picnic thing, the speaker and his date go on a walk in this field, where they come across two figures. The first is described as, 

“...fair and blooming, and a sweet refrain Came from his lips; he sang of pretty maids And joyous love of comely girl and boy, His eyes were bright, and 'mid the dancing blades Of golden grass his feet did trip for joy; And in his hand he held an ivory lute With strings of gold that were as maidens' hair, And sang with voice as tuneful as a flute, And round his neck three chains of roses were.” 

- Two Loves, 1894

The speaker, however, was drawn to the second figure: 

“He was full sad and sweet, and his large eyes Were strange with wondrous brightness, staring wide With gazing; and he sighed with many sighs That moved me, and his cheeks were wan and white Like pallid lilies, and his lips were red Like poppies, and his hands he clenched tight, And yet again unclenched, and his head Was wreathed with moon-flowers pale as lips of death. A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought in gold With the device of a great snake, whose breath Was fiery flame..”

- Two Loves, 1984

Of course, the speaker immediately asks the second man who he is. The second man says, “My name is Love”. The first man corrects him quickly: 

“ He lieth, for his name is Shame, But I am Love, and I was wont to be Alone in this fair garden, till he came Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.”

-Two Loves, 1984

The second man sighs and acquiesces, “Have thy will. I am the love that dare not speak its name.” 

It was, of course, this last line that really gave the meaning of the poem away. It was the line that was put to Oscar Wilde as proof of a romantic relationship, it was the line that went down in history as a way to refer to queer love, and it was the line that first stuck out to me when I was reading “Dream With Me”. 

The reading here is clearly that “Love” is the love that is acceptable to society - easy, sweet, and cherished. “Shame” is the love that happens in secret - beautiful, alluring to the speaker, passionate, anxious ( as can be seen in the clenching and unclenching of his hands), and proud. He refuses to call himself as anything but what he is. The first man may call him Shame, but he refuses the name, and instead, offers a qualifier to his own descriptor. He is still love, he is just the love that can’t be spoken about. 

3.) Walking in Golden Fields of Sunflowers

Now let’s talk about “Dream With Me”. I’m ignoring the first few stanzas (from the line “Have you ever wondered” to “What the two of us can find”.) because those are pretty standard introductory paragraphs to a guided meditation. So we start with the line “Let’s travel now to moonlit valleys...”. 

I’m going to do the same thing I did with “Two Loves” first. I am going to describe literally, in general terms, what happens in the story. Warning, I change pronouns from “they” to “you” because the whole thing confuses me, but note that I’m always talking about the speaker and the listener: 

So after doing the standard intro, the speaker and the listener take a walk through the woods enjoying nature, particularly the grass, the trees, and the blue sky above. You’re already clearly in love. Then you’re magically on a raft, with cherry blossoms all around you. If you want a good visual for that, here’s a site that has pictures from a boat rental in Tokyo where you can snuggle on a raft in the  Chidorigafuchi moat. And then suddenly it starts raining, and they (you) watch the rain for a hot second, and then the scene magically shifts again, and you’re under a porch (although I guess it could be the boat rental’s porch. They do usually have covered areas). 

Kind of furthering that theory, they then lounge by the shoreline, skipping stones and hanging out, looking at the snow capped mountains. In case you’re curious, because at this point I sure was, you can see mountains from certain areas in the city of Tokyo. 

Anyways, then it’s snowing, and you’re magically in a cabin, just chilling by the fire, and you fall asleep again. You wake up somewhere else.

Where are you now? Well, you’re on a tropical island filled with palm trees. As an American, my mind immediately jumps to the Caribbean, but I suppose it could absolutely be in the Mediterranean as well. The island has white beaches, mangroves, a turquoise ocean, and a gorgeous, peaceful atmosphere. 

If you’re curious as to what a mangrove looks like - and I certainly was - they are a group of trees and shrubs that live in the coastal intertidal zone and Jamaica is doing a massive restoration project involving primary school children to regrow this vital part of their ecosystem. More interestingly, there currently exist no mangrove forests in the Mediterranean, so my initial feeling that this scene would take place in the Caribbean was correct. On that note - again, because I was curious - Jamaica has gorgeous white sand beaches with turquoise oceans. 

But I’ve gone off topic again! After you’re minds are “in tune” once more (trying to find a heartbeat, anyone?), you reappear in a meadow, with beautiful flowers of all kind, where you are now walking hand in hand through a field of sunflowers, which give the feeling a “warm and golden hue”. Then you come across a little farmhouse with daisies poking out (clearly I have no way of locating this anywhere in the world, but I assume that the UK has both sunflowers and daisies). It’s an empty house which was loved and left because of the passage of time, which inspires my favorite line in the poem: “ The thought of passing time inspires/A feeling that grows stronger”. It’s just...really sweet to me. 

So, of course, they do what anyone would do when they come across an empty farmhouse, they go inside. And there, they begin to fall asleep, reflecting on all they have just seen, referencing other scenes of the poem: “ Moonlit valleys, Burdened forests, Gazing at the ocean. Summer meadows, Tranquil sunsets steeped in emotion”. 

The next few stanzas are just going to be copy-pasted, and then I’ll go into them a bit, but this is the end of the poem, so they’re the final reflections;

“The tenderness we feel When we are close Two minds as one Surrounds us and connects us But we’ve only just begun.

For now we dream together Of all there is to follow. And know that sleep will keep us safe From now until tomorrow.

Maybe all the memories That we’ve gathered here tonight Are all dreams now remembered Or wishes in plain sight.

No matter what They’re with us now. For this night and forever. And every time we close our eyes They’re yours and mine to treasure.” 

- HS, Dream With Me, via @carl-and-pearl​

And that’s it! The literal story, in short, is that you started in a forest, then went to Tokyo (maybe) and then Jamaica (perhaps) and then back to a field of sunflowers and daisies in the UK (which is also a guess, it could be Italy or France or Idaho for all I know, but let’s call it an educated guess). 

4.) My Dream Journal

So now that we know what happens in the story, how do we interpret this? Well, There are a few lines in the poem that I want to draw your attention to: the first takes place in the first part of this story, when you’re still in the forest. This is, I must say, the most direct reference to Two Loves in the whole poem/song/story. Both works are describing a walk in the woods with your loved one, and, in a fun reference in the middle of the story, Dream With Me says

The shimmering reflection Shows us smiling from above. But what we think But dare not speak is L-O-V-E love.

-Dream With Me, 2020

Remember that line I mentioned before? I am the love that dare not speak its name. Right, so that’s almost a direct quote. It also has a really fun nod to “I Would” (Would he say he’s in L-O-V-E?/Well if it was me then I would), but I digress. 

This first part of the narrative, I feel, really sets up what the rest of it will look and feel like, in the same way that “Golden” sets the tone for Fine Line. (You didn’t think I was going to make a post about Harry and NOT mention Golden, did you?? If you did, I’m disappointed!!). So  let’s take a look at what’s happening, and the language he’s using to describe it. 

One of the best things about this poem is how vivid it feels. Of course, I’m about to argue that it’s vivid because it was based in reality, but let’s talk about the sheer amount of detail he uses to describe the place he’s walking through. The valley (canyon lmao) is moonlit, the grass and the leaves make mosaics of green, you’re walking by the heather (the symbolism of heather is good luck, admiration, and protection), the sepia sunlight breaks through the trees. 

You know what it kind of sounds like? Sweet Creature. You’re about to roll your eyes at me! I can feel it! But listen, okay?  

“Sweet creature Running through the garden Oh, where nothing bothered us But we're still young I always think about you and how we don't speak enough”

Which, to be honest, sounds like what they’re doing. They’re walking through the garden in the sun, not daring to speak about the Love that he (they both) feel, and instead refering to it in veiled Victorian terms. 

And then we head to Tokyo! I know that you’re about to ask me why I think it’s Tokyo versus...idk, anywhere else? Well, for one, he went to Tokyo (to let it go) publicly in 2019. He was there for a few months, and there are some great pictures of that time: 

Look! Here he is with his club owner friend and his dog, and a fun red bandanna! But let’s be honest, the dog really steals the show here. But wait! there’s more! More dog content, too!

This was on Jan 31st, 2019, and he’s taking the dog for a walk! Very cute! If nothing else, he spent a lot of time with dogs in Tokyo! And the city fits the description of the story. So I feel rather comfortable with my interpretation that this first date is a memory of this trip - or another - to Tokyo. 

So what did “you both”do in Tokyo? Well, chill on a raft while the cherry blossoms flutter around you, clearly. You also refocused your purpose. What did he do in Tokyo in 2019? Well, he took time to think about and write songs for the album he was about to go record. Kind of like refocusing on what’s next, right? And then, in the story when “you both” had time to think amongst the lake and the water and the rain and the moon, and you’d come to the conclusions you needed to, you left. What did he do when he did the things he needed to? Well, he left, too. 

And where did he go? Well, in real life, I suppose he went to do his job. But, in the story, you’re meant to be falling deeper and deeper into sleep, so it’s sort of like traveling backwards, you see? Like counting down to one. So you end up on this island with turquoise ocean and mangrove forests. I’m calling this Jamaica. Why? Well, the description fits, for one, down to the four types of mangroves that exists within its ecosystem. 

And - probably the biggest reason - I can place him there, too. Here’s him in 2017:

I added this picture because the water around him....looks rather turquoise, doesn’t it? Kind of like he’s enjoying his time on a tropical island by the beach?? Oh, and here’s another one!: 

The red bandanna makes a comeback! 

So what are you doing in Jamaica, according to the story? Well, you’re hanging out, basically. Enjoying the beach and each other, of course!  What else? To be exact, “[Your] thoughts dovetail and unify/ In tune two minds together”. I’m so glad that you’re tuned like an old guitar now! Congrats! Really happy for you! 

What was he doing in Jamaica three years ago? Why, he was recording his first album, or so the story goes. I’ll tell you something: finding press for that album was literally the most difficult part of this whole analysis. I got a fair bit of the tattoo roulette with Kendall Jenner, and some things about Carolina, but the interview with Zach Sang took me like an hour and a half to find again to link. The fact that a lot of it has been buried is...not great, for posterity purposes. He’s going to want that one day. 

But I’ve gotten off track again! We gotta go back and finish our story, right? What happens now? Well, this does: 

hahahaha okay, I’m really sorry, but I had to. I’m not, actually, making it up though! According to the story: 

“ As minutes turn to hours We drift off somewhere new. And visualize a stairway To a door we now walk through”

- Dream With Me, 2020

So maybe Louis was just...demonstrating for you. 

Anyways! Where do you walk out to? A golden field full of sunflowers. You walk for a minute, then come across an old house with daisies popping up out of the garden. And that’s where the story ends. I guess you’ve made that farmhouse feel like home. 

Now to the little reflection he does on the outro. The lines I want to bring your attention are: “The tenderness we feel when we are close two minds as one surrounds us and connects us but we’ve only just begun” and “Maybe all the memories that we’ve gathered here tonight are all dreams now remembered or wishes in plain sight.”

Let’s talk about the first sentence first. In the context of finding a home that could be a shared home, and a future, this is very much an “end of the story, beginning of our lives” sort of thing. You’re back from all over, and it’s time to settle down, and see what’s next. 

And now the second sentence. I think this is the one that really drives my point about this story being a collection of memories he has - that’s what he calls it. The story is “gathered memories” that might also be called “remembered dreams” (think of how people say of vacations, “oh it was a dream!”) or you might call it “wishes in plain sight”. This feels in line with the rest of the story. In this stanza, he’s sort of letting you in a bit. If I’ve read this right - and I really think that I have - he’s giving the larger context for the story. It’s a collection of memories he’s had with someone he loves. 

5.) Cool! Can you prove it? 

I mean, I’d argue that if you read this far, I have proved it, but let’s make some more links, shall we? This was called a “muscial epic” that was “driven by him”. I’d argue that if I know my Victorian literature (thank you, Sherlock!), then he definitely does. Then there’s the fact that he quoted it, so. That did happen. And he knows what it means. And even if he didn’t, there were two other people on the story. Someone was more than capable of catching that one, and the fact that they didn’t speaks to intent. They want you to think of that phrase when you read this poem. They want you to think of that walk in the woods while you’re going on this one. 

And, as for my assumption that this is for and about one person, well. Think about it. He said that he writes his songs for a single listener. I’m not saying it’s the same listener each time, let’s get that right, but it is always just for one person. With that, and with the assumption that he’s been involved in the writing of this story, I’d say that the same rule applies. He went with someone to Japan and Jamaica (J^2 haha). And, if I had to guess, it was the same person. 

Why, you ask? Well, for one, if that weren’t the case, then this poem would no longer be for one listener, it would be for multiple. And, for another, imagine how awkward it would be to listen to it with his current partner and have to explain “oh, yeah that was the super romantic vacation I took with someone else” . And, I suppose that because I think that attitude of “refocusing” and “dovetailing” and “tuning” and getting excited about imagining all of the tomorrows with your partner speaks to a long term relationship breathing easily, you know? 

I’m also going to argue that describing the aura around the house as “golden” was intentional, especially when paired with the location - in the middle of a field of sunflowers. Those are both direct references to his songs. And those two songs are particularly linked by the number 28. The third song that features 28 is Fine Line the song, but that’s a different story. Anywho! “Golden”’s bridge just repeats the word ‘golden’ twenty eight times (if you go here , you can count the bridge) and “Sunflower Vol. 6″ ends the song with 28 “boops” (believe me, I wish I was making this up. I’m not.). So then, once again, you’ve linked a story to two already linked songs. 

And, even if you don’t buy the intentional repetition, they’re linked another way, aren’t they? The color scheme and the sun symbol. Sunflowers were named because of their sun-like appearance. They turn to face it. They symbolize loyalty and adoration. And then, of course, the sun is - say it with me - golden. And it - like the person in golden - waits in the sky, beautiful and dangerous and constant. And here that symbol is, in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. At home. 

This whole story feels like you’re taking the time to find that heartbeat that you think you might have lost, and sort of coming back to a space where you understand that this is what you want, now and forever. It feels like finding a home that could be yours forever, and it feels like walking through some of the moments that remind him of that. 

It really is rather lovely, if you think about it, especially since he has a tendency to attribute “home” to people rather than place, in his songs. So it’s like. Going all around the world and always being at home. 

[allsassnoclass]

hi hi hazel! for the questions, 7, 9, 22 and 40! - monse<3

@lukemichaelcalumashton hi hi monse! thank you for asking!

7. Your favourite ao3 tag. I really like tags that aren't necessarily tropes but are still standardized in different fandoms! Like "[Bad Parent]'s A+ Parenting" or "Good Babysitter Steve Harrington" in the Stranger Things fandom or "Christopher Diaz Has Two Dads" in the 911 fandom. I like seeing things that fandoms have decided to create tags for because they're common enough in fics, and how they have a distinctly human phrasing

9. Thoughts on cliffhangers. I don't like them at the end of fics. I'm fine with some open-endedness, but there's a way to do that without ending on a full cliffhanger. Because I only have one chaptered work right now, I personally have never written a cliffhanger (yet.... there may be one in unmute) and tbh i don't read many wips so i'm rarely left on cliffhangers for reading, either. i can see the appeal in one that's well done, though!

22. What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again? the familiarity! you don't need to make room in your mind for new characters or new conventions, and you know that you're not going into the fic thinking ugh, they should really be with that other person instead :/ because you signed up for this! from a writer's perspective, it's nice to be able to write for fun and still be able to share it. with original works, it's much harder to find a place to post where people will read, and if i want to retain rights and stuff then it's wonky but i don't have the money to self-publish and etc etc etc. basically i feel like it can take a lot of the fun out of writing because there's different standards for original fiction than fan fiction (different genres, different expectations, etc), and if i don't want to write as a career (or don't think i could make it) then fanfiction feels like a nice, fun option to still be able to engage with other people over my writing. besides, there's always more to explore with the same two clowns without having to start from scratch creating new characters and/or situations!

40. Write a 9-word fic. He loved him infinitely, but it was not enough.

[salmonthestoryteller]

20 questions, writer's edition

I was tagged by @lambourngb - This was harder to fill out then it first appeared, btw.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

118

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

516,223.  I never looked that much at my statistics page before so that’s exciting to look at.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Oh my gosh, so many.  25 different ones on ao3, 9 more that were never cross posted from the pit of voles, and at least 5-10 fandoms from prior to either of those sites.  LJ, Yahoo Groups, BBS boards, etc.    A partial list includes: Roswell New Mexico (2019) (My most prolific with 40 fics on ao3 and more here on tumblr I never cross posted there.), Hetalia, Yuri on Ice, Supernatural, Samurai Warriors, Uta no Prince-sama, Voltron, Shadowhunters, My Hero Academia, Pirates of the Caribbean, Animal Kingdom, The Old Guard, The Walking Dead, Dynasty Warriors, The Witcher, Xyber 9, Shadow Raiders, Mummies Alive, Babylon 5, and Star Trek.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes (The Old Guard) (Yeah, I had this one on anonymous for awhile.) 

Until the TIme is Through (Roswell New Mexico) (Part of my Canon Divergent To the Moon and Back Series) 

I Want You (Roswell New Mexico) (NSFW Malex) 

Crash and Burn (Roswell New Mexico) (Part of my Canon Divergent To the Moon and Back Series) 

Snow (Hetalia) (NSWF IvanxAlfred) 

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’m torn between three actually:

Dormant (Hetalia)  I always say I love two endings, happy endings and greek tragedies, but I rarely write the greek tragedies.  Dormant is one of my exceptions.  Hetalia has one character who is hinted at being immortal, and I took that and wrote a fic about an Extinction Level Event and him watching the other characters die around him while he can’t.  I’ve always been really proud of this fic, despite it being one of the saddest things I’ve ever written.

Unclean (Roswell New Mexico)  Which is almost the darkest fic I’ve ever written.  It’s about Michael’s time in the home of the “Fundamentalist Religious Freaks” and the exorcism he mentioned.  It ends after the drifter and is very much hurt, no comfort.

Hell is… (Roswell New Mexico)  This is a ficlet I wrote for a prompt.  And it’s a dark take about what could have happened to the pod squad if they’d been caught after the murders.

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Almost all my fics have happy endings.  So, what is the happiest?  Probably either:

Deck the Halls (Roswell New Mexico)  An Echo & Malex Christmas fic that is as fluffy as a fic that involves the Pod Squad, Christmas, and being attacked by anti-alien paramilitary groups can be.  (Also, Echo has a cat called Grisabella the Glamour Cat because Max should not be allowed to name anything and nobody can convince me that wouldn’t be absolute canon in a committed Echo relationship.)

Or

In Over Their Heads (Yuri on Ice)  A Seungchuchu with a fake engagement and unrequited feelings that aren’t actually unrequited. (And where Sara is Seung’s best friend because apparently I always write them that way and have no regrets.)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I don’t write crossovers.  Because I rarely find myself sold on the idea that the two stories exist in the same verse or can think of a way the characters would interact that would inspire me to write a fic.

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, and pretty much anything.  M/M, F/F, M/F, and Poly.  Plus a large variety of kinks.  (Yes, I was often on kink memes back in my LJ days.)

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to?  I used to never respond because I didn’t know what to say, and then I tried to respond to every one, but there would be long gaps between when I checked and then I felt bad for responding so late, and sometimes I still don’t know what to say so I just end up not replying.  XD

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Surprisingly very little.  Some harsh criticism - one in particular actually hit young me hard enough to stop writing for a while back in the day.  But I tend to get more hate for my meta than my fics.  Which is odd since my fics are usually very much representative of my meta.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Only one - a Dynasty Warrior fic of mine about the bond between CaoCao and Xiahou Dun was translated into Chinese.  I mean, Dynasty Warriors is a video game literally based on The Romance of the Three Kingdoms, which is based on chinese history, so for someone to want to translate one of my fics about it was incredible to me. Links below.

Honor 

Translation: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4589910

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.  I would probably drive a co-author nuts, tbh.  I’m so inconsistent.  And at the same time, I have a thousand thoughts.

14. What's your all time favourite ship? to write for?

I don’t actually have one?  RNM has become my top fandom to write for, there’s no doubt.  And while I think Malex is in the most fics among them, I’m not sure if that number surpasses other ships in other fandoms I’ve written for altogether.  In fact, according to ao3, only 15 fics of my 40 RNM even have Malex in them at all, and not all of those are Malex-centric.  In fact in at least 3, they’re a side ship.

I’d say that I probably write almost as many fics that are gen, friendship, family/found family feels, and character introspection as I do shipping fics.  Which doesn’t really leave room for any one ship to be at the forefront.

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

None, I hope.  LOL.  There’s definitely a few that I have left uncompleted for a long time and feel guilty about but I’m not ready to say I’ve abandoned them yet.  There’s a ton of ideas I have written down that I may never actually write.  But none I have started that I don’t want to finish.

16. What are your writing strengths?

The three consistent compliments I’ve gotten are:  I capture the characters’ voices in my dialogue.  My writing tone is unique.  My smut is super hot.  XD  (I have no explanation for the last one, because to be honest ¾ of my smut is always foreplay.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes.  I have been told before that my action scenes are very confusing.  Also, I rarely give physical descriptions of people’s appearances because I honestly rarely stop to consider what they’re wearing or how their hair is done.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It’s common in a couple of fandoms of mine, and I actually don’t mind it. Depending on the fic, it can be more realistic to me than otherwise.  (I just appreciate it when the translation is also provided.)

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  But I never posted that one.  Um… I think Ranma ½ was the first one I ever posted for others to read?

20. What's your favourite fic you've written?

Oh, gosh. Um… I know at one point I listed Dormant.  But I think right now if I had to choose I’d say either

School of Hard Knocks (Roswell New Mexico)  Which is my Michael-centric fic set in the lost decade.

Or

Duty First (Shadowhunters)  My Magnus and Raphael “missing scene” from 02x20.

Tagging @manesalex @lovecolibri @islndgurl777 @ninswhimsy 

[puppy-phum]

ah thank you @yibobibo for tagging me ^^ these are always so much fun! also am avoiding going to sleep lol so here I go

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? umm this dark berry red? idk it’s a very old one and i should probably get a new one :’D

2. Name a food you never eat. hmm, am really not that picky with food. but i had an disagreement with meat loaf for a long time bc once as a kid i got sick while eating it and well. let’s say it came back up :) so i was a bit traumatized lol 

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold! definitely ;; that’s why i hate living here when summer is like maybe two weeks and otherwise am freezing 24/7

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? umm watching ultimate note i think lol it has taken over my weekends

5. What’s your favorite candy bar? wow hmm. i think fazer’s dark choco + chili bar is amazing? otherwise maybe kinder’s bueno 

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? yeah, a couple of times :’D to watch ice hockey lol bc it’s probably the only sport i enjoy... oh, and karate once too! that was cool somehow :o 

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? “how are you like this” to heihua in ultimate note bc i dunno why but they keep. flirting with each other while bullying other ppl???  

8. What is your favourite ice cream? chocolate! (or if it’s available, i absolutely adore sorbets or some very nice and sour berry flavors!) 

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? peppermint tea ^^

10. Do you like your wallet? oh yeah :o i love the flower pattern on it and several ppl have complimented it a lot too? i can’t remember where i bought it but it’s nice and i always feel so fancy when i flip it out haha 

11. What is the last thing you ate? some chocolate :’D why does every other answer seem to be somehow related to chocolate... (ah yes, bc i love it) 

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? hmm no. but am actually waiting to go shopping after christmas so that i can get new stuff ^^ 

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? ummmm does street dance of china count? 

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? uh, the normal? is that butter then??? i don’t even know any other flavors

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? i’d say @i-am-just-a-kiddo who always has to suffer from my continuous screaming over. everything, basically (i am a very hyper person when it comes to things i love) 

16. Ever been camping? not specifically but i’ve slept in a tent a couple of times and done some hiking lol also i think i would love to try?

17. Do you take vitamins? nope, not really? should i?? maybe i should, at least some d vitamin... i miss seeing the sun, where is it ;o 

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? nope, not really religious 

19. Do you have a tan? umm no our summers are short as mentioned and i usually try to avoid getting tanned ^^’ 

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? chinese bc i get tired of pizza very fast

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? yeah! i love the feeling of using a straw :’) also love it when they are funny colored or fancy or just very silly looking? 

22. What color socks do you usually wear? very basic gray/white/black but then i have these random colorful socks too? and something like,,, deep turquoise. and dark wine red. and socks with flowers??? 

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? no i am a very law abiding citizen jfghjf (tho i drive very rarely bc i don’t own a car)

24. What terrifies you? ummmmm. let’s say randomly that i would absolutely freak out if one day i was closing my curtains and someone was looking at me through my window (which is highly unlikely bc i live in the third floor but my brain insists on this one on a daily basis) 

25. Look to your left, what do you see? my empty tea cup, waiting to be taken away. so that i could sleep. sigh

26. What chore do you hate most? umm. vacuuming? it just feels like such a waste of time 

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? i feel like the first two things that just pop into my head when someone mentions australia are troye sivan and @ashenwren ♥ 

28. What’s your favorite soda? coke or pommac (it’s this fruity soda? i used to call it as kid’s beer when i was young lol) 

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? would usually go to the place but i guess for now it would be safer to go to the drive thru? idk 

30. What’s your favorite number? i have no idea what i’ve answered previously to similar questions but let’s go with eight 

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? physically talked to? my parents probably

32. Favorite meat? chicken but i could also say shrimp or any fish tbh 

33. Last song you listened to? dpr ian - so beautiful x (this song is so addictive somehow??? and the mv is amazing!) 

34. Last book you read? uhhh this book related to men’s studies where the author talked about his own experiences and views on being a man in this society that really much supports toxic masculinity and those toxic ways to show it (i cried) 

35. Favorite day of the week? probably thursday currently bc ultimate note :’) 

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? uuuhh not right now probably but if you give me a moment i promise i can

37. How do you like your coffee? just like i like my men so,,, no. (lol that was an opportunity too perfect not to use) 

38. Favorite pair of shoes? my pair of combat boots! or whatever you can call my black boots that make me feel badass but also fancy and comfortable 

39. Time you normally get up? i try to make it around 10am but i just laze around in bed and i might actually get up at 11am-12pm 

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? both tbh, sunrise has its own vibe that’s completely different from sunset and both are just breathtaking! (no wonder my xicheng fic is very much full of/based on this day cycle symbolism smh) 

41. How many blankets on your bed? one, i surprisingly enough get very hot during night (and not in the sexy way) 

42. Describe your kitchen plates. light blueish gray? square. the smaller ones have these blue shapes on a white background, circle. 

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment. clean too! i cleaned it yesterday :’D

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? i’d say long drinks. or just,,, i dunno, vodka with orange juice? always works 

45. Do you play cards? oh i did nothing else during the summer but play cards with my mom jfhgfghk it’s very relaxing somehow (also i love to teach ppl new games even if i know like,,, maybe five) 

46. What color is your car? don’t own one 

47. Can you change a tire? absolutely! i used to join my dad as a kid when he changed his tires :’D so i know the process and would be able to handle one i suppose

48. Your favorite state or province? i. don’t really have one? maybe the one on our west coast, i like the dialect over there 

49. Favorite job you’ve had? i’ve only had like two? maybe? and i didn’t really enjoy either but does doing theater stuff as a hobby count? bc i’ve enjoyed that and it felt like a job at certain points :’) 

wow this got so long wth ;o i didn’t even realize it was 40 questions jdhgkfg but it was fun! i hope this tells you something about me :’D and i’ll tag the two ppl who i’ve already tagged into these answers :’D so go for it you two! and then i want to tag some of the ppl i always bother aka @kholran @stebeee @manhasetardis @aheartfullofjolllly @leonzhng @lzswy (i know some of you have been tagged already but i hope it’s fine. also no need to if this feels like too much!)

[philcoulsonismyhero]

Fic Writer Interview

I got tagged by the excellent @astriiformes Ages ago to do this fic writer interview thing, and I’m finally getting around it! So here goes...

Name:

Mairi (sounds like 'marry'), Kamemor over on AO3 (after a particularly cool Romulan politician in a Star Trek novel, if you were wondering)

Fandoms:

Currently, I'm writing a lot of RWBY fic and that's unlikely to change because I'm deep in Special Interest Hell with no signs of coming up for air. In the past, I've also written a bunch of stuff for Criminal Minds and The Flash/DCTV. I've got a lot of other fandoms, but those are the main ones I've written for.

Two-shot:

Assuming this is asking if I've ever written one, technically no. But I do have a series (Just Hold On, a RWBY fix-it) that currently consists of two fics which could stand alone as they are, although I have plans to continue that one for quite a few more fics if I can find the motivation and time. And I guess I also have a couple of fics that I could have split into two chapters because they switch from one POV to another about halfway through. I like to stick to third person limited POV, and that means I often have section breaks when I want to switch from one character's perspective to another's, and for a two-person scene that usually means two sections. But I like the oneshot structure, and usually I don't feel like what I'm writing is long enough to split into chapters.

Most popular multi-chapter:

I only have one true multi-chapter fic, and it's Moving Forward, a Flash fic based on the idea of Reverse Flash being taken prisoner at the end of s1 rather than being wiped from existence. It's technically still unfinished, but I got a lot of lovely comments on that one a few years back when I was posting it, including a few folks that went through and commented on each chapter and really made my day. Maybe one day I'll actually finish it...

The only other thing I have that’s multi-chapter is a collection of missing scene ficlets, also Flash fic, but that doesn’t really count.

Actual worst part of writing:

My brain tends to be very visual when I'm writing fanfic for a TV show, and few things are as annoying as knowing exactly the facial expression someone is pulling and having No Idea how to describe it in words. Same with tones of voice. Also, I tend to jump straight into writing the bits of scenes that are most interesting to me, and going back and adding in the context that you need to make something actually readable for someone that isn't you can be a bit tiresome.

How you choose your titles:

It depends, tbh. A lot of my older fics are titled with short verb phrases that are pretty straightforward (like 'Moving Forward' or 'Breaking the Cycle'), but recently I've rather enjoyed using song lyrics. Most of my RWBY fics have lyric titles either from songs from the show itself or songs that I've got on my extensive Ironwood character playlist or otherwise just quite like and feel like they fit. I don't tend to find titles all that difficult, and I've got a fair few WIPs that have them already.

Do you outline:

Again, depends on the fic. With longer ones, yes, usually as a list of bullet points describing what happens. But shorter missing scene fics or things that I bashed out in only one or two sessions and only follow a single conversation tend not to be outlined because they just flow as I write them. I've got some more extensive outlines for a few of the fix-it AUs I've been playing with, but even then they're just bullet point lists or mostly held in my own head.

Ideas I probably won't get around to but wouldn't it be nice:

I have. So many. Most of them are RWBY fix-it fic, which is fun to write at the moment of divergence but then A Huge Endeavour to follow any further than that. I’ve planned out a bunch of different shapes for where the three different versions I’ve already written and posted would go, but there’s only one of them that I’m really continuing (aforementioned two fic series). Although I have a dilemma there, because the climax of the story arc that I figured out for that ‘verse would work even better in the other one that focuses more on Penny & Ironwood. But it’s not as simple as just throwing the idea into continuity with that one, because there’s a Major difference between the two in that in one of them, Qrow was the one who got through to Ironwood, and in the other they kinda hate each other over the whole ‘I blame you (and also me but mostly you) for Clover’s death’ thing, so I’d have to plot out a completely different relationship arc there which would have a knock-on impact on how well Ironwood is dealing with everything else. Canon divergence fic! it’s a good time.

I’ve also got So Much other RWBY fic in bits and pieces in various Google docs, it’s ridiculous. (Including a superhero AU that I’m rather fond of conceptually, but don’t really have a solid arc plot for.) A lot of it would be nice to get into a publishable state, but I probably won’t ever be bothered to.

On the not-RWBY front, I've also got a big Criminal Minds/Silent Witness crossover that I've planned out all the beats of, but actually writing it means coming up with the specific details of the murders and the autopsy scenes and a whole lot of technical stuff that I'm not comfortable just winging based on what I've seen on TV. But I also don't like researching real life crime stuff even though I love a good crime drama, so you see my dilemma. I like casefic in theory, but in practice I'm probably not going to write much of it. 

Callouts @ me:

Just because you’re an insomniac who mostly writes fic at night rather than sleeping doesn’t mean that every conversation fic has to happen as a result of one or both characters being unable to sleep, my dude. There are Other circumstances in which people talk to each other.

Best writing traits:

I’m good at character voice, although that’s a pretty standard thing to be good at. I also really like unconventional crossovers, I’ve gotten pretty good at playing around with conversations between characters who never met or aren’t even from the same universe and coming up with a believable dynamic for them. I also like to think that I’m good at getting into the heads of awkward characters and figuring out which bits to poke at in order to get them to do things they didn’t do in canon. (And figuring out how they rationalised the things they did actually do.) That’s a big reason why I liked writing Reverse Flash, the complicated bastard, and it’s why I’m having so much fun with Ironwood now. You’ve really got to work at him to get him to change direction, great big stubborn disaster that he is, and I think I’ve rather gotten the hang of that.

Spicy tangential opinion:

People should write more longfic focused on gen relationships. Some of the most fascinating relationships in stories, at least to me, are the ones between people you’d never expect to be friends, or between adults and the kids they feel responsible for who also feel kinda responsible for them, and that makes for a (imho) much more interesting story than most ships. I Live for a good complicated mentor/mentee relationship, but I hate looking for fic about them because then I have to deal with the fact that a lot of people ship those relationships and it squicks me out. Give me the longfics about types of relationships I actually care about!

(This whole thing is a good 40% of the reason that I’ve ended up get absorbed in planning out a RWBY Vol8 re-write where the parallels and the newly complicated relationship between Ruby and Ironwood is The Main Agenda. (The other 60% of the reason being ‘[x character] deserved better’.) There’s some Really Good Stuff there and I want to play with it in more of a longform situation than my usual oneshots.)

No pressure tagging:

@squireofgeekdom , @catgirlalchemist , and anyone else who wants to give it a go! Feel free to say I tagged you :D

[army-of-mai-lovers]

author interview tag!

tagged by @maipreciation (tysm for tagging me ily) 

Name: Arthur/nonbinary-crafter-aang on tumblr/airnomadenthusiast on ao3 (fun fact that used to be my tumblr url too but I like this one much better) 

Fandom(s): I have engaged with other fandoms in the past but I am ashamed of those parts of my life so just atla/lok forget that I have ever mentioned being in any other fandom.

Where you post: ao3 (though I post hcs on here as well and I have a post series I am currently procrastinating) 

Most popular oneshot: bad girls basically all the major teenage girl characters of ATLA are a gay friend group and they form a band, also Mai has a giant crush on Ty Lee, shenanigans ensue. This one was written at one of my darker points re: not being able to see my gay friend group (my gaggle, if you will) and it made me really happy to write about these girls supporting each other and connecting with one another through music. 

Most popular multichapter fic: far and away it’s the greatest of them all, my only fic to ever get over 100 kudos (the celebration of which was the genesis of my very first fic recs post.) I’ve talked about it a fair number of times but basically Toph and Bumi duel, Toph wins (look me in the eye and tell me Toph wouldn’t win if she and Bumi dueled, bryke), and then Bumi finds out that she doesn’t really have anywhere to go now that the war’s over, so he invites her to stay at the palace in Omashu with him as his Earthbending teacher, shenanigans ensue. it’s definitely very close to my heart. 

Favorite story you’ve written so far: if I had to pick a favorite I’d pick victory lap, which is a Suki-centric fic set after the war in which Suki’s trauma and the pressure of constantly being there for everyone kind of catch up with her and it all becomes a bit of a mess. I think in this fandom we have a tendency to idealize Suki (because she’s not fleshed out enough in canon) and I wanted to kind of break that image. I love Suki to death but she’s not perfect and I wish more people would give her the time and space to exist as a complex human being. So yeah, that’s why this is my favorite. 

Fic you were nervous to post: keep the world at bay, for a lot of reasons. I knew that this was going to be long and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep myself going through the writing of it (I’m committed to it but it’s hard knowing that I have so much work still ahead of me). Additionally it’s an Avatar Sokka fic and I know people do not like those, and I totally understand why and you’re free to have your opinion but I just wasn’t sure if anybody was going to vibe with it you know? and even if somebody vibed with Avatar Sokka as a concept maybe they wouldn’t vibe with nonbender Zuko or Waterbender Yue or the twelve different redemption arcs (I’m exaggerating but also everybody’s getting redeemed) or the way I want to portray Iroh or any number of things because there is so much canon divergence in this and I as a person have such a different perspective than bryke. But so far it’s going really well, I think I’m managing everything all right, and I’m hoping I can actually pull this off! 

How you choose your titles: usually song lyrics, but sometimes I’ll have a really good idea for a title (as with sore loser and victory lap--it just worked and the symmetry makes me really happy.)

Do you outline? yes, heavily! I didn’t with tgota and it caused a lot of problems and so ever since I’ve tried to have something in front of me that tells me where I’m going. The outline’s not super duper specific though because I usually want to give myself room to improvise. Pretty much every OC you’ll see in any of my work was made up on the spot (the ktwab outline had Zuko interacting with “the crew” and then while I was writing I decided who Akemi and Captain Fukuhara would be, and it ended up working out beautifully so now I do that for all my fics) 

Complete: 4 out of 7 on ao3

In progress: of what I have posted on ao3, three of those fics are in progress (not ready to make nice, let him fly, which should probably be done soon bc it’s a twoshot, and the aforementioned ktwab) 

Coming soon/not yet started: Bumi fic, Ty Lee fic, and wuko coffeeshop au are all in the process of being outlined and researched. I’m starting Ty Lee fic after I finish let him fly, and I’m starting Bumi fic after I finish not ready to make nice (like let him fly, Ty Lee fic will either be a oneshot or a twoshot, probably a one shot, and like not ready to make nice, Bumi fic will probably be multiple chapters but not in the 40-70 range like ktwab and wuko coffeeshop au, so I have all my bases covered) 

Do you accept prompts? usually around follower milestones I do! people never send them to me so it’s kind of a moot point but when I reach my next milestone I will put out a post saying that I’m accepting prompts, so watch out for that. 

Upcoming work that you’re most excited about: tbh Zone has been getting me pumped about writing this Bumi fic so I’m excited about that, and the Ty Lee fic very much feels like Something I Need To Write the way victory lap did so I think whatever comes of that is going to be really good and really sad. 

tagging @the-hot-zone @listless-brainrot @kahtara @katarahairloopies @junesbiceps (if you’ve already been tagged in this or you don’t want to no pressure!) also if anyone else wants to do it pls feel free, I’d love to read about your work!

[rubyredsundae]

Mass Effect Trilogy Tag!

I was not tagged by anyone, I just really wanted to join in. If you see this and want to as well, please do! I've been loving reading through everyone's :)

I am a fan since… 2011ish? Definitely at least a year before ME3 came out. I remember watching my brother play ME2 and thinking it was so cool. While he was away it was a huge comfort for me to play it in his room, kind of like a bonding or cathartic experience for someone who wasn't there at the time.

When ME3 came out, me and him went to the midnight release at a gamestop like 40 minutes away or something, wearing clothes we threw together to kind of fit the N7 color scheme. Even though we don't talk anymore, those memories are still really precious to me. Also, the nostalgia of playing ME1 after-school or on the weekend, running to get my easy mac from the microwave during a cutscene, stuffing too hot mouthfuls while speeding the Mako towards the conduit on Ilos.

Favorite game of the series: It's a tough call between ME1 and ME2, but I'd say ME2. It's the game I get the urge to replay the most.

MaleShep or FemShep? Femshep all the way. I only play MShep when I want to do his exclusive romances. No offense to BroShep, but ME was the first game I ever played that let me not just be a girl, but customizable. Not just to be the already generated token girl character in a pack of boys. And not only can you play Femshep, but every game you are surrounded by smart, funny, tough women as squadmates. It was such a huge deal to me, and still is. Femshep represents so much. As Jennifer Hale put it, FemShep was a military grade boot to the video game industry glass ceiling.

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer? I personally tend to lean spacer in-game, but I tend to use Earthborn when I'm writing fics.

Paragon or Renegade? Usually Paragon, but Renegade playthroughs can be really interesting, especially if I have a detailed background about why Shep is the way they are. My first Renegade, Krystle, is pretty bigoted and anti-alien until she meets Liara. Krystle is naturally guarded and quick to anger, so meeting someone who seemed to accept her and listen to her without judgment really opens her mind.

By the 2nd game, she wakes up in the cerberus lab with new biotic powers, having previously been a regular foot soldier. This makes her seeth, having someone completely take her agency, agreeing with the illusive man on the surface but plotting against him the entire time. She starts to lean more Paragon, if only to piss him off. She has the biggest smirk on her face when she blows up the collector base.

Biotics or Tech? Oooh, this is hard. Maybe biotics just the tiniest smidge because of Jack/Samara biotic bubble throw during the suicide mission. I don't know if we'll ever get a screen adaptation but THAT is a moment I would pay to see done with a big SFX budget behind it.

Favorite class: Sentinel! I don't know how much this reflects on my class preference in gaming in general, but I love the 'jack of all trades'ness of it. By the time I get an assault rifle, I don't really feel the need for anyone else to make up for something I lack. Also, tech armor in ME2? Where your shields regenerate automatically when it breaks, and the cool down is when you initially active it, instead of when you detonate it? Chef's kiss. I understand why it was nerfed in 3 but I'm still mad.

Favorite companion: Ho boy. This is obviously very difficult to choose but I'm gonna say Miranda. I've always loved and identified with her character, I love the accent, and she's always useful on missions. I was so happy when I learned she could be a squadmate in the armax arena.

Honorable mention to Ashley in ME1. Her character is rarely used to exposition lore, so she just gets to have her personality fleshed out. I don't always agree with her but she does seem genuinely willing to listen. ME3 tosses her out the airlock though; partially because her content was bugged and never restored, leaving her inclusion feel half-baked, and partly because Ash and Kaidan have to be able to serve the same plot function as each other and it negatively affects her character more than his. This could also be intentional on bioware's part, to try to flesh out kaidan's personality and tone down Ashley's as a response to criticisms of them from ME1.

Least favorite companion: Also difficult, because I don't really hate anyone as much as I am just less interested in some. I didn't like Zaeed for a long time, but I think he's much better and really funny in ME3. James was pushed on me too much at the beginning and it made me really dislike him, but I think he's greatly improved and also pretty funny in Citadel DLC. I'm also pretty indifferent to Jacob; I don't think he's a bad character, just disappointing because there was a lot of potential.

Not that every character has to go on and do some grand quest to be interesting, but I don't feel like Jacob every really got a big hero moment like everyone else. He is a very calm and introverted person (imo) who doesn't really share his feelings, so it's always been hard for to to connect with him on anything.

My squad selection: Depends on the game, but it usually involves Garrus lol. Typically it's Liara/Garrus in ME1, Miranda/Garrus for ME2, and Liara/Garrus again in ME3. I am very boring and predictable! If you have any suggestions for me to try out and mix things up, let me know!

Favorite in-game romance: Also depends on the game. ME1 it's Liara, hands down. It was the first game, really the first piece of media, where I was told two women could fall in love and be happy and that was okay. The amount of enlightenment and comfort in figuring out that I was bi these games brought me is kind of wild to look back on.

ME2 is a toss-up between Garrus and Thane. They are both wonderful but in completely different ways. I tend to now romance Thane on characters I don't plan on importing to ME3, or if I do, to just have a really depressed fucking Shepard lol. I hate how much Thane was brushed off, especially if you romanced him.

Other pairings I like: l love Miranda so much, but I'm a gay girl so I ship her and Femshep. Same goes for Tali, Jack, Ashley... damn I'm just really gay for straight girls huh :/

I don't really have any other ships for non-Shep related pairings.

Favorite NPC: Shiala is really cool to me, I wish we got to see her in 3. Emily Wong is also cool, also wish we saw her in 3. There's probably a lot more that when I come across them next I'll be like, "you! I love you! You're my favorite."

Oh also Joker! And EDI! But not together. Idk I feel like ME3 threw a curveball at me with "do you support organic/non-organic relationships?" Like m'am please don't ask me, I accidentally drank turian liquor last year, I'm not qualified to be an expert on this.

Favorite antagonist: Tbh I really dig Saren. I think his reasoning is super fascinating, both to set up how someone who's indoctrinated can rationalize to themselves that they are still in control; and as a foil to Shepard, to show what can happen when you become too isolated and the ends justify the means. I think his VA does a great job of walking the line between desperate survivor and madman. He's also the only antagonist in the trilogy that we ever fight 1 on 1 (ignoring squadmates) and it feels more personal. I think he's such a fantastic foe for the first entry in a trilogy and I don't think he gets enough credit.

Favorite mission: Is it cliche to say the suicide mission? It's honestly close to perfect. The stakes, the sequencing, the cinematics, the score. Everything works so well.

Favorite loyalty mission: Kasumi's and Tali's are really cool, as we all know. Samara's is also cool because it is entirely non-combat based. Shepard has to prove they can accomplish what seems impossible without a gun or biotics.

The confrontation at the end with Morinth always haunts me a little, because they are both right in their own way. Morinth's final line, "and they say I'm the monster", as you let Samara kill her, watch her scrambling backwards in fear... I know that she's a remorseless killer, but it gets me every time.

Favorite DLC: It's Citadel, obviously. Turns out what I really wanted was quality time and a party with all my friends. I love mass effect for many reasons, but simulating friends and affection when I had none has always made me bond to this series like other games don't. Is it sad? Sure! But I don't think love and affection for fictional characters should ever be shameful until it makes you hurt other people.

Control, Synthesis or Destroy? I'd say destroy. If the other options were presented earlier and we had time to stew with it, maybe I'd be more split. But all of this in 5 minutes? It's not like the collector base where the implications are obvious and the choice is just down to what Shepard believes. The 3 choices all seem like space magic out of nowhere, and none of them seem to really offer any insight on what Shepard should believe. So I say destroy, just because it's what Shep has intended and is most consistent with their character and their admiration of Anderson.

Favorite weapon: The spectre level assault rifle in ME1. Never have I felt more powerful.

Favorite place: Idk why but I just thought of the creepy lab with all the scientists during the leviathan DLC. I really love when Mass Effect leans into the Lovecraftian horror aspect of things. Talking to Sovereign and Vigil in ME1 gave me goosebumps my first few playthroughs.

A quote I like: I have hundreds, but the one off the top of my head is, "After time adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust, I will return to where I began." I have a poster of it up on my wall right now!

[alicedoessurveys]

Doctor Who Tag

yes im a nerd...

CHILDHOOD

1. Did you like DW as a child?

I was 10 when it came back on telly with Eccleston and the first episode with the autons scared me so much my mom wouldn't let me watch it again until a couple years later, but yeah my teens I was obsessed with DW... still am at age 25

2. Your age at the time of the revival?

10

3. First DW episode you ever saw?

‘Rose’

4. Did you have any of the toys?

I still have the eleventh doctor’s screwdriver... I used to have some of the figures but there in storage now somewhere

5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?

didn't play it on the playground

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?

all of them! the ones that still scare me now are the Cybermen and the Autons... genuinely cant walk past a shop mannequin without being suspicious 

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?

as a kid, any of the innuendo type jokes

8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?

idk I think I still have the same opinions

9. Who introduced you to DW?

parents

10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?

I LOVED SJA!! I miss that show, and Elizabeth Slade :(

DOCTOR

11. Who is your Doctor?

Ten was the doctor that made me fall in love with Doctor Who 

12. Your favourite Doctor?

omg why not just ask me who my favourite child is... (I don't have kids but you know what I mean) if I had to chose my top three are ten, eleven and thirteen

13. Least favourite Doctor?

purely just because he doesn't have enough episodes... nine...

14. Best regeneration?

none of them I hate regenerations :( they make me sad, im too emotionally invested in every single one

15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?

they're not my faves

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

I think nine maybe? or twelve?

17. Best multi-Doctor story?

the 50th anniversary special 

18. Best Doctor monologue?

“Hello Stonehenge! who takes the pandorica, takes the universe. but bad news everyone, cause guess who? HA! You lot you're all whizzing about- its really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING. Question of the hour is, who's got the pandorica? Answer, I do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on, look at me! No plan. No backup. No weapons worth a damn. oh and something else, I don't have anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the pandorica tonight... just remember who's standing in your way. remember ever black day I ever stopped you and then- AND THEN- do the smart thing... let somebody else try first.”

not copied and pasted, remember that from the top of my head... its always there waiting in my mind incase I ever need an epic monologue :’)

19, What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?

hopefully living his best life with Rose

20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?

ten and donna 

COMPANIONS

21. Favourite companion?

Donna, Clara, Amy

22. Favourite secondary companion?

is Mickey classed as secondary? idk

23. Least favourite companion?

Ryan

24. Best TARDIS Team?

Doctor, Amy and Rory

25. Most underrated companion?

Graham, but that may just be cause I love Bradders

26. Most overrated companion?

Rose... I like her but idk, I think she gets more hype than she deserves.. don't @ me

27. Favourite companion’s family?

Rose’s mom

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?

idk I cant think of anyone

29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?

Amy and Rory

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?

wasn't keen on Bill at first but by the end I really liked her, same with Rory

EPISODES

31. Favourite episode ever?

girl in the fireplace

32. Least favourite episode?

most of Chibnall’s episodes tbh sorry not sorry 

33. Which episodes do you skip?

the regeneration episodes

34. Best two-parter?

Human Nature - Family of Blood

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

I like them all in there own way but I think present is fave, then historical, then future

36. Episode that will always make you smile?

all of them

37. Episode that will always make you cry?

Rory and Amy’s last episode :’(

38. Best run of episodes?

ugh I cant answer this theres too many 

39. Best cliffhanger?

the end of Spyfall part one when the Master reveals who he is... I was SHOOK

40. Favourite Christmas special?

Voyage of the Damned

SERIES

41. Classic Who or New Who?

new who

42. Favourite series?

four or five

43. Least favourite series?

eleven, I just cant with the writing

44. Which series do you skip?

none

45. Favourite series opening?

eleventh hour

46. Favourite series finale?

Doomsday

47. Best series arc?

Bad Wolf

48. Thoughts on series 11/12?

I adore Jodie Whittaker and her doctor, and although I think 3 companions is too many I do love Yaz and Graham (Ryan is hit & miss). I just think theyve been massively let down by the stories/writing... they’ve tried to hard to tick certain boxes and completely missed what Doctor Who is about for a lot of people.. an escape from the real world into these outrageous unbelievable but lovable fun alien adventures 

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?

not a lot

50. Who should have had another series?

NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE 

MONSTERS

51. Favourite monster/villain?

the master 

52. Most creative monster?

Weeping Angels, whoever came up with monsters that look like statues and only move when you're not looking at them is genius 

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

Autons, Cybermen, the creepy dolls from Night Terrors, the ones from Waters of Mars, Weeping Angels

54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?

idk

55. Least favourite monster/villain?

absorbaloff

56. Monster you want to return?

The Master, I really hope that isn't the last we see of Dhawan

57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?

being genuinely scary, 

58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?

Weeping Angels

59. Best Dalek story?

Daleks in Manhatten

60. Best one time villain/monster?

my brain has gone blank I cant think of an answer right now 

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?

SJA

62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?

I haven't watched it all so I couldn't say 

63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?

again, not watched it all 

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

huh

65. Favourite SJA Team member?

Sarah Jane

66. Mr Smith or K-9?

K-9

67. Maria or Rani?

Rani

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?

Nope

69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?

n/a

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?

yes

DESIGN/PRODUCTION

71. Favourite piece of alien tech?

the sonic, I love how it is so multipurpose except for when it comes to wood 

72. Favourite piece of Murray Gold music?

I am the Doctor - gets me pumped every time 

73. Favourite TARDIS design?

Ten’s Tardis 

74. Has the 2005 era CGI aged well?

actually yeah, I was rewatching the ‘are you my mummy’ episodes the other day and my God when the gas masks emerged from the faces... ooooooof I was like omg how 

75. Favourite Doctor outfit?

eleven or thirteen

76. Monster with the best design?

not really a design more of a costume.. I live Dhawan master’s costume. that shade of purple, oof he so stylish 

77. Best show runner?

idk

78. Best writer?

Gatiss

79. Best opening titles?

eleven’s titles where the Tardis is flying and being zapped is cool but thirteens music hits different 

80. Will DW age well/stay popular in the future?

I hope so, I feel like its lasted this long surely it can last forever.. if the writers don't fuck it up... 

IF YOU WERE IN THE SHOW

81. Time period you’d want to go with the Doctor?

whatever time means Id get to wear the most beautiful costumes

82. Planet/place you’d want to go with the Doctor?

Galifrey, pre-desctruction

83. Doctor you’d most like to travel with?

any of them, please and thank you

84. Companion you’d most like to travel with?

donna, sceso a good laugh but also I feel like she’d look after me 

85. Monster you’d like to defeat/fight?

The Master 

86. If you could go back on your own history (like Father’s Day), where would you go?

back to when I was a toddler, I wanna see what I was like 

87. If you could ask the Doctor anything, what would you ask?

theres too many to ask 

88. Historical figure you’d like to meet?

Shakespeare

89. How do you think you’d meet the Doctor?

id probably be rescued from doing something stupid and then the doc would be like you know what the bitch clearly needs supervision she's coming with me 

90. Would you travel forwards or backwards in time first?

backwards

IF YOU MADE THE SHOW

91. Historical event would you like to see in DW?

Hamilton

92. Issue you’d like to see addressed in DW?

idk 

93. Who would you completely erase from the DW universe?

Ruth

94. One unanswered DW question you’d love to know the answer to?

where is Clara now?

95. Actor/actress you’d like to see play the Doctor?

Phoebe Waller Bridge (or Lin Manuel Miranda)

96. Actor/actress you’d like to see play a companion?

Andrew Scott (yes I did just basically recast fleabag and hot priest)

97. Is DW “too political”?

series 11 got a bit like that 

98. Which characters fate would you changed?

Danny Pink

99. What about DW could be improved?

I think ive made my options about Chibnall pretty clear... 

100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do

bring back Jenny, the Doctor / Daughter adventures they would have. I’m actually writing a fic about it if you wanna read.... here

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

Do you have a masterpost?

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayri/

I just crosspost to tumblr from AO3, so not really. I have 3 stories with 30 chapters and that’s not even all my stories. It’s just more energy than I have to try to link all these posts together, especially when there is already a system that lets you just press next chapter already. If you don’t like AO3, here’s my FFN, but I don’t post shorts to it because the posting system is infuriating. I do apologize to people who would rather read on tumblr, but i’m just too disabled for that mess. I don’t know how y’all do it, tbh. I recommend dark reader (chrome) (firefox) to make AO3 more accessible or to read at night. You can change the font to any system font you have, so you can make it opendyslexic so it’s easier to read, too! AO3s mobile website works great and you don’t need an app for it.

But here’s everything easily accessible for you (except 18+ content) list, though I should note I mostly write heavy themes so it’s considered mature, I recommend checking the tags if you have triggers: 

Dreaming While I Wake: Roman Angst, power angst, it’s angsty, recovery fic where I slowly reveal all the awful things that happened to him with bonus sass monster Virgil

Storytime!: Canon Divergence, “what if Virgil didn’t accept anxiety” basically, where I also slowly reveal things like a bastard, sides get together and tell stories, Virgil has issues with himself and hiding them

Painful Death for the Lactose Intolerant: Gremlin Children, doesn’t get enough love, not written as well as my other stuff but I don’t care, someone love these idiot children as much as I do, they’re so dumb, love them (complete, also has shorts running, part II eventually)

Plea for My New Self: Gay Vampire DLAMP, single brain cell between the lot, fluffy fluff fluff, chapters are way too long, 60% banter 40%vampire lore, deceit has the braincell and he uses it to insult Virgil

Whole Castle: Propmt-lead shorts where the asks are mean to a 6-year-old Patton (I’m only half kidding), hurt/comfort, adorable tiny child endears everyone ever

Gen Rated Shorts: Prompts and Just me playing with ideas

Mature Rated Shorts: mostly boys kissing and some sad

[sirsapling]

MORE TAGGED POSTS

I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO. 

I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle​

Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.

A fresh Buzz cut

Talking to @bardingbeedle​

Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates

Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.

Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor​

top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)

favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.

white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.

favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.

how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.

(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)

favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly

favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.

pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.

favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)

your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.

favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.

the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.

favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs):  Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories

Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.

Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909​

Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Carol Danvers - Marvel 616

Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates

Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist

Martha Jones - Doctor Who

Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)

Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99

Ann Perkins  - Parks and Rec

Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman

Pam Poovey - Archer

LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.

Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff​

look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.

Fanfic trope meme

I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars​ and @crownofstardustandbone​

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it  // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates  // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend  // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.

And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.

tagged by @bardingbeedle​ the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)

What is your favourite candy bar?

Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.

What is the last thing you said out loud?

‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.

Do you like your wallet?

Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin

What was the last thing you ate?

See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.

The last sporting event you watched?

F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret​ introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad. 

Ever go camping?

Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.

Do you take vitamins?

Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.

Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.

Do you have a tan?

I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.

What colour socks do you usually wear?

Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.

What terrifies you?

Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,

Look to your left, what do you see?

The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.

What chore do you hate?

Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

@s-hylor​

What’s your favourite soda?

See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.

Who’s the last person you talked to?

@downeyhills​

Favourite cut of beef?

I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.

Last song you listened to?

Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose

I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.

Last book you read?

Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud

Favourite day of the week?

Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin​ and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can barely say it forwards.

How do you like your coffee?

With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.

Favourite pair of shoes?

I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).

The time you normally go to sleep?

9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.

The time you normally get up?

5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.

How many blankets on your bed?

One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.

Describe your kitchen plates

Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars

Do you play cards?

Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.

What colour is your car?

Again, I do not drive. 

Can you change a tire?

I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.

How did you get your biggest scar?

I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park. 

[arrow-shadowwolf]

I snapped, alright...

So, you know how you get excited when suddenly a lot of fics get added to your favourite tag on Ao3 in a short amount of time? Just happened. Like 8 of them.

I was finished with dinner and reloaded the tag for the last time, it was at 6003. It’s been stuck on that number all throughout dinner. So I decide to help my parents to do dishes, you know like a good kid. Certainly didn’t do it to force my parents to watch 20 minutes of John Mulaney...

Anyway, dishes are done. I take my laptop, go upstairs, get situated on my bed. And I check the tag again, like a loyal fan who does so every 20 minutes. To my delight 8 fics have been added! But for some reason they’re not the first fanfics I see in the list. Which, okay, has happened before. So I scroll down, about 10 fics in or so I see one of the fics that have been added. 

Turns out it’s a Starker fic. In my beloved Peter & Tony tag!!! I keep on scrolling, since this is not the first time I’ve seen this phenomenon. Find the second, the third, the fourth, etc. All the way through 40 fics. All 8 of them Starker. 

This is the first time I see so many Starker fics, a unholy relationship, in a platonic tag so close to each other. This ladies and gentlemen, is the moment I break. The moment I got sick of this happening in MY BELOVED TAG! 

So, this is an announcement more or less. 

But @ you pedophiles shipping this child and adult who are 30 years apart in age at the bare minimum. (And yes, even Tom is still 30 years apart in age with Robert which makes it just as wrong.)

  KEEP YOUR FUCKING FILTHY STORIES OUT OF MY TAG!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m not someone who usually goes and call out people on my blog like this. No matter how wrong they are. I try to keep away from all that bullshit and enjoy my time online with things I love. I try to turn a blind eye. 

But the least you fuckers can do, is tag accordingly! So we don’t have to see your rotten ass soulless ‘relationship stories’. 

There are people that are never going to leave you alone, and with good reason. As long as they don’t actively go on your blog and bother you in your free time, people can rant about Starker all goddamn day.

But I feel the need to say this once very clearly.

STOP REBLOGGING OUR PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP AND MAKE IT STARKER!

STOP PUTTING YOUR FILTHY STORIES IN OUR TAG!

STOP SHOVING THAT PEDOPHILIC SHIP UNDER THE EYES OF UNDERAGE PEOPLE!

STOP DISRESPECTING OUR POV ((which is the only right way the look at it tbh))

STOP, JUST FUCKING STOP! IT’S NOT MEANT AS STARKER, EVEN IF YOUR DELUSIONAL MINDS MAKE IT SOUND LIKE THAT!!!!

STOP INVADING OUR SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARTIST AND WRITERS SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PUT A CAPTION OR TAG WITH ‘THIS AIN’T STARKER Y’ALL’. AS IF THAT ISN’T ALREADY CLEAR ENOUGH BY ACTUALLY READING OR LOOKING AT IT!!!

I’m tired af about it. And if you don’t realize that any of this besides your traumatic ship is wrong, get dusted by Thanos.

[blanc-to-my-noir]

50 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @ana-who - thank youuu!!

1. What takes up too much of your time? procrastination kdjflka

2. What makes your day better? There’s a lot of things really - I’d say hearing one of my favourite songs, meeting a cat that let’s me pet it, a course at uni ending early, some good food, etc.

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I went to buy medication for my grandma and she let me keep the change :3

4. What fictional place would you like to go? The school from Little Busters and then I’d give all of them a hug (and possibly flirt a whole lot with Kurugaya skdajflak)

5. Are you good at giving advice? Sometimes

6. Do you have any mental illnesses? Yep, a few of those :’)

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? Nope

8. What musician inspired you the most? B.A.P (cause I literally wrote a whole fic based on one of their MVs), Pentagon (cause I’m planning a whole fic originally based on one of their MVs), and BTS (because of the messages behind their lyrics

9. Have you ever fallen in love? yes, it’s been a while though (unless you count biases lol)

10. What’s your dream date? I was about to say going to a cat cafe but then the cats would get more of my attention than my date so kalsjdfka

11. What do others notice about you? Three things. That I tend to be silent when I don’t feel like I can open up to you yet. That I’m very loud once I did. My piercings.

12. What is the annoying habit you have? PROCRASTINATION.

13. Do you still talk to your first love? unfortunately not

14. How many exes do you have? 1/2? (don’t ask asldka)

15. How many songs are on your playlist? better question would be: How many playlists do you have? The answer is 51.

16. What instruments can you play? I learned how to play the recorder, guitar and piano for a while but I’m not really good at any of them (not that I ever was aksjdflka)

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? let me check this could be three people and I am praying it’s not the third one klajsdkfa Pentagon’s Yanan... about 890... I shall raise that to 1000 within this year (and that’s just the pics only he is in, so no group pics)

18. Where would you like to go before you die? Korea, and Japan for a second time!

19. What is your zodiac? Libra

20. Do you relate to it? sometimes

21. What is happiness to you? Cats, chocolate, snow.

22. Are you going through anything right now? I am constantly walking through the pits of hell, even though you can’t see it in my eyes :)))

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? becoming a kpop stan kalsdjflkdajsk HAHAHAH IM KIDDING

24. What’s your favorite store? it’s called Nakwon and sells asian groceries... yes, that’s how much it got out of hand....

25. What’s your opinion on abortion? Not my favourite option for an unwanted pregnancy, but if it’s the best option for the mother (and child) then of course I think it’s totally okay.

26. Do you keep a bucket list? not atm... I should start that again

27. Do you have a favorite album at the moment? too many Reol’s Jijitsujo

28. What do you want for your birthday? a cat... but since I won’t get that anytime soon I will just say pENTAGON TO DO A WORLD TOUR AND STOP NEAR WHERE I LIVE IS IT SO HARD TO GIVE YOUR ARTISTS PROPER TOURS CUBE?????!!!!???!?!??!

29. What are most peoples first impressions of you? very good question - I have no idea. Probably that I’m unfriendly or hard to approach or smth because my neutral expression is something close to a resting bitchface^^”

30. What age do you seem according to most people? ..5? Nah, probably my actual age, but I feel younger than that a lot of the time (and I’m not old enough for that to be a good thing kajdflka)

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? usually next to my head, cause it helps me wake up in the morning

32. What word do you say the most? I usually have one or two “catchphrases” that change all the time and rn it’s “aigoo”, I shit you not... I may or may not have watched too many vlives of a person who likes that word a lil too much...

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? Well I’m 20 now so... 22 or 23? I’m not that much into big age gaps anymore^^”

34. What’s the youngest age you would date? 19 probably

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? some say teacher but I defo do not feel like I’d be a good teacher

36. What’s your favorite music genre? I don’t really go by genre, I just listen to whatever sounds good to me

37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? tbh I’m quite okay here in Austria, but Japan would be goals af

38. What is your current favorite song? UUMMMMM Reol’s Utena??? Or Lost Paradise??? Or Ten to One????? Or Pentagon’s Cosmo????? Or Shintoburi????? Or Bastarz’ From Seoul???? Or SF9′s Life is so Beautiful???? Or Bang Yongguk’s I Need to Talk??? I really can’t decide kasjdflka

39. How long have you had this blog for? Since October ‘18!

40. What are you excited about? mostly kpop... without that my life would be pretty plain... Defo the concerts I’m going to within the next month (Ateez and SF9)!!

41. Are you a better talker or listener? depends on the topic... if it’s about something I’m passionate about defo talker, if someone has troubles with anything and needs to vent I’m a better listener

42. What is the last productive thing you did? write the Anniversary post for Noir... and study Kanji

43. What do you want for Christmas? SNOW. Also a cat. But we already had that...

44. What class do you get the best grades in? bold of you to assume I’ve been getting good grades ever since I started uni...

45. On a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? 7 - I have good music, but my back hurts a lil and I’m feeling nervous because I have a test tomorrow and a presentation on friday and I’ll be stressed at work on thursday^^”

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Transaltion work and/or writing novels

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? That was back in elementary school when I lost my best friend... It’s weird how I can still remember just how that felt.

48. At what age do you want to get married? Marriage?? In this economy?

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to open a restaurant, but then also become an author and I still have that dream^^ 

50. What do you crave now? All kinds of sweets tbh... and my special cheese noodles uGHHHH 

[captaindaddykru]

The 100 Ask Game

i was tagged by @foreverandalwayscrysis even though i accidentally end up ignoring her for weeks bc i’ve migrated towards twitter. major dumb b*tch energy.

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from? probably argo station bc im from the south and im surrounded by farmers. theyre everywhere. get me out.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark? yelling at someone in command for being a basic bitch? fighting for equality? stealing meds for the poor?

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground? if bellamy asked me to? y-yeah.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..) i’d love a turtle

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be? ok if we dont count miles ezekiel shaw bc he was in more than two eps, definitely wells.

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they? bellamy, clarke, raven, shaw & harper. 

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to? there is only one kru<3<3 anyway, floukru if it was my own decision.

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? sumn like maksim? or just maks? idk the whole language is confusing to me

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious. did everyone try the chicken? i thought the chicken was lovely. nah, all jokes aside -- what he did to raven was absolutely disgusting, but i kind of liked his storyline. how he went from being holier-than-thou to absolutely losing his damn mind over clarke to point he shoots up an entire village of innocent people? it was interesting. but he died when he shouldve.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does? im not gonna take shit. grass is always greener on the other side.

11. What character do you relate to most? definitely clarke. thats why i’m so hard on her.

12. What character do you like the least? echo. groan every time i see her face.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical) oh i love this one! uhm. probably like jeans, but ripped. black ankle boots. a shirt -- something with cleavage definitely, i think a regular tanktop. a dark jacket. idk. i would always have a gun/knife holster on my thigh i think. (ok i wanna look like lara croft). and i would enjoy if i could wear any shade of lipstick. i would want that to be my trademark. i find berries or sumn in the first ep.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal? that monster spying on lincoln and octavia in the woods. wonder what happened to that one.

15. What would your job be on the Ark? something medical for sure.

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked? yeah no biggie im (almost) a nurse. ive resucitated ppl before.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive, then who would have made the best commander? dont kill me, but definitely luna. i know she didnt want it, but she wouldve been the best fit.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty? probably cry all night or get super giggly. either or.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach? i dont believe in the dead penalty in modern times, but like she was old enough to know killing people aint right. especially not for revenge on an innocent person. so i say the murphy method.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone? they shouldnt have one person in charge, but if they have to, i’d say clarke. fuck them old ppl tbh.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis? i think bellamy went through some personal stuff that made him side with pike. if i were in the situation myself i think i would be digusted by pike’s xenophobia, but if they said there was an army outside waiting to kill us. maybe i would buy it? idk. depends on if i have all the info i guess.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s iPod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there? MUSIC PLAYER

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint? war paint on my lips!!! and i’d wing the shit out of my eyes too. as for a hairstyle probably like a lob, sides braided back. i dont like my hair up so mostly just keep it down. tattoos? idk if we’re all dying anyway, i’d say fuck it and do a whole sleeve of flowers.

24. Favorite quote? can i be a soft bellarke bitch for a sec and present clarke’s entire speech in 4x13 or ‘if i’m on that list, you’re on that list’. that or “who we are, and who we need to be to survive are very different things”

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? clarke or murphy. team cockroach bitch. is this the time i plug my own thg fics? 

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non-canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

if i cant say bellarke its gonna be a short list. canon? zaven and memori. non-canon: sea mechanic, wellven, murphamy. 

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo? BIG DREAM would be taylor swift but i dont think her current era fits with the show (plus its the cw....like they gonna give up half of their yearly budget for a three sec cameo?). i think aly & aj’s new music slaps and they’d fit in the whole new earth aesthetic. 

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time? write blarke fanfic with him probably. 

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die? i’d wanna die protecting bellamy lmao. just a full on beheading or something.

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of? literally no one. they’re a season too late. ok. maybe shaw. but thats over now i guess :/

31. A character you’d bang? bellamy, clarke, raven, shaw, emori, harper, monty, wells, diyoza. its a cw show. come on.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?  if i was on the show i’d go up in space to prevent becho. if you have me the choice now, i’d stay in eden.

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?  i’d definitely not eat human meat. death it is i think.

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits? tryna murder blodreina for making me eat humans.

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with? i’d bond with monty over biology i think. i would have a hard time getting a long with murphy or echo. i love the first as a character but irl i’d kick his ass. 

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself? if i have eden? as long as i have until the next apocalypse.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do? try and blow them up while they sleep or sumn? or idk. if i was alone, maybe just better to make friends.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite? diyoza+, mccreary-.

39. Would you Spacewalk? i would probably? i’d be terrified but what a way to go?

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat? ive accidentally gotten bugs in my mouth before and like i said im not eating humans, so -- space algae.

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it? war didn’t help anyone. in the end, no one got to live on earth. i’d try and compromise i guess. or once they trust me, try and kill the eligius ppl in their sleep anyway.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes? stick the thumb drives into bullet holes. i have fear of ‘alive’ things being in or on the human body. 

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia? for clarke? yeah. if she was as loco as octavia, definitely. or i’d kidnap her and say she killed me.

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper? sleep, definitely.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet? bellamy, clarke, raven, emori, shaw, murphy, jordan and since somebody usually dies on these explorations, i’d allow echo to come.

[lululawrence]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2018

Hiiiiiii! So I was tagged by @sadaveniren, @hereforlou, and @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed who are SO VERY LOVELY! Thank you, darlings! I was wanting to do this anyway, and now I have double the excuse to do it. The two versions they had were slightly different, so I merged them. Hope no one minds. haha

Okay, so that said, as I’m sure most of you know I write more than I probably should, and because of that, this post got long very very very quickly. Ahem. So you’ll find the questions below the cut, thank you for even thinking of reading this!!

ALL FICS MUST HAVE POSTED ON AO3 IN 2018

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 25. oh! only 25! that’s great hahaha

2. Word count posted for the year: 313910. that’s 2k MORE than last year and my whole goal for this year was to write more quality rather than quantity fic. hmmmm. lollll

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):

I warned you. I’m sorry in advance. 

A Dream is a Soft Place to Land

We Made a Start

Tell Me That You've Got Me

I Don't Mean to Frustrate

How Much My Heart Depends

I Will Care For You

Hold Me Tight and Don't Let Go

Can We Talk for a Moment?

I Like Digging Holes

Back to How it Was

Not the Desperate Type

Just Enough (to Feel My Body Come Alive)

What Needs to be Done

I Knew From the First Time

Something Classic

The World Will Open Its Arms

How I Feel Inside

We've Come Too Far

I Just Wanna Give You Love

(That's Just) The Way I Am

This is a Rainbow War

Can I Have Your Attention, Please?

Great Minds (They Think Just the Same)

You're Here, Where You Should Be

Nowhere to Land (as of today! hurray!)

4. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction, BBC Radio 1

5. Pairings:  Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson/Nick Grimshaw

6. Story with the most:

Kudos: I Just Wanna Give You Love (757...holy shit when did that happen?)

Bookmarks: I Just Wanna Give You Love (283)

Comments: I Just Wanna Give You Love (8783)

That was kinda boring. I was expecting more diversity, tbh hahaha I also had no idea that was like by far my most popular fic this year? Who knew.

9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

Back to How it Was. It is my fic baby. Well, my second born fic baby. I spent two years brainstorming and starting the fic and restarting it and reworking it before I finally wrote it from scratch for NaNoWriMo last year and posted it with Big Bang this year. I didn’t think I could win NaNo or that I had the guts to do Big Bang even though I’d always wanted to do it, and I finally did it for this baby, because I knew it was worth it and it so was. It’s my longest fic, what I feel is my best written fic, and the fic I THOUGHT was going to be by far my most popular one, but obvs famous/non famous soulmates won hahaha It even was enough to give me the motivation to actually write a sequel (Nowhere to Land) and just. I love this fic so so so much. Defo what I’m most proud of this year.

10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

You know, my biggest focus this year was not so much writing less, but writing with more purpose. Making my writing more quality (I wrote over 40 fics last year and it felt like TOO MUCH even if I learned a lot), and I think that even though I still posted a LOT of fics this year and my word count was actually more than last year, I think it was better quality. I think my writing overall was better and because of that, I’m proud of all of my fics. It’s the first year I’ve really been able to say that, but I don’t think I could choose a least proud fic. I love all of them too much.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Oh shit. Uhhhh...here! @sadaveniren reminded me I was damn proud of banter I wrote this year, and since I can’t share a Tomlinshaw snippet yet, enjoy this tidbit from I Like Digging Holes.

“Lads,” Liam called. “We’re back in five.”

Zayn turned back to the computer and finished what he was doing as Harry took his mic off mute.

“That was the new tune by our good friend, Niall Horan. Isn’t On the Loose a jam, Zayn?”

“It is. It is. But I think you’re just trying to distract me from what we were discussing during that song, Harry.”

Harry smirked and Zayn’s brows raised higher. His eyes were sparkling and Harry knew this next part was going to be fun. “Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. Would you like to share with the listeners what we were discussing?”

“Yes, well, our very own Harry Styles was sitting here, proper chair dancing and singing along to Niall’s latest single, all while peeling an orange.”

“It is a delicious orange, in case you were wondering,” Harry said, making sure everyone could tell by the way he was speaking that he had a segment in his mouth as he spoke.

“You’re disgusting,” Zayn said. He couldn’t keep the corner of his mouth from raising a little, though, so Harry knew he was mostly joking. “I swear I’m going to take your phone and start posting how you eat to your precious Insta story myself. Anyway, would you like to tell everyone where exactly you came upon this orange?”

“Of course, Zaynie. I came upon this lovely orange in the lift.”

Zayn was hardly containing his laughter now, but he did his best to remain serious. Harry knew the comments on their video this morning would be amusing to say the least. They always loved it when Harry and Zayn bickered a bit.

“Harryyyyy,” Zayn drew out, finally succumbing to his giggles. “Who finds an orange in the lift and thinks, ‘Wow, that looks delicious. I think I’ll take it?’”

“Well, obviously I do,” Harry said, also giggling. “It’s not like it was just rolling around! It was in a box!”

“A box almost makes it worse,” Zayn said, getting more and more animated as their conversation continued. “Someone may be looking for their missing orange now!”

“I don’t think so,” Harry said. “Besides. If they’re smart they’re listening to our show now and have found where their orange has gone.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

Harry hummed as he sent a cheeky wink Zayn’s way and continued eating his orange.

12. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Oh gosh. There have been several that made me cry this year, they were so lovely. Some I save in my emails for when I have a bad day. I don’t know that I have any one single favorite, but I did have one the other day that told me they appreciated how I end my fics with them being resolved but still somewhat open ended therefore allowing the reader to choose the future of the characters. That meant a lot to me because there’s a lot of fics I write where the only comments are people begging for more (which is totally fine! I know I write short fics that often are just a snippet in time for those characters and leaves people wanting more hehe), but often the point of those fics is to leave so much in the air. I like the possibilities swirling and people wondering and coming up with their own ideas, and this particular commenter said they appreciated that. that meant the world to me! I was glad they liked that since it’s something I feel strong about but that often frustrates people hehe

13. A time when writing was really, really hard:

oh gosh okay listen. writing this year was my safe haven and most of the fics flowed from me in a most magical way. i think it was because i was writing fics i wanted to write? if that makes sense? but there were three fics that were REALLY hard for me. i learned a lot from all three, but the hardest i think was my mirrors fic, Just Enough (to Feel My Body Come Alive). I had an incredibly specific vision and feel for this fic and I felt like I fell so so so short from what I was trying to do. Every word was a struggle because I wanted to be sure it was right, and in the end I just didn’t have the time to really wrangle with the words how I wanted to. I got the fic done by the deadline and I was proud of what I wrote, but I just. I really truly wrestled with those words. I hope the emotion present in the fic, the settings created, and the growth of the characters as well as the narrative style I presented in the mixed POVs were effective for the readers! I put a lot of myself into that fic emotionally.

14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I think the Grimmy in Can I Have Your Attention, Please? surprised me. I wanted him to be very very true to the Grimmy we get on the radio and his personality shown there, and I think I got it, but it came much easier than I really thought it would. He was so endearing to me and silly and honestly a bit of a disaster and every time I finished writing him, I would go and yell in one of my chats because I just was amazed and how alive he came to be on the page. I hope others felt that way if they read it too. I really loved writing him because of how much he surprised me every time I got to write him.

15. How did you grow as a writer this year:

 Well. If you’d asked me this a week ago I would have told you in confidence. I became incredibly confident in my ability to write a fairly decent fic on pretty much anything. I feel like I can twist pretty much any prompt (within a few minor constraints) and do it well. But then this past week happened and I’m not sure confidence is where I grew. hahahaha I still am incredibly unsure of myself and scared when I post things. 

One way I do definitely think I grew though is I tried different writing styles and structures. Last year I explored with tropes a lot, and I still did that this year, but I found ways to kind of make them different from what I’d done before. I really liked that.

16. How do you hope to grow next year:

Well. Last year I wanted to write more in general. This year I wanted to write more quality fics. Next year I think I want to just focus more on writing when I’m inspired. I want to try to cut down on deadlines a bit and focus more on fics that I want to write when I want to write them. I got a taste for that a little bit this year and I have to say I’m kind of addicted and would like to see that trend continue. So maybe just...ease up on writing a little bit, allow myself to read more again, and write what inspires me.

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Oh gosh uhmmmmm. Well honestly Grimmy influenced me a lot this year. Grimmy and Greg and Scott and Chris all from Radio 1 found their ways into a lot of my fics this year as characters themselves or finding bits of themselves represented in our boys within the fics. Listening to them all more this year helped me really up my banter game so I was able to write awesome bits like the snippet I shared above I think. But I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the fic community here. I don’t even know that I can name everyone, but I was defo supported by some incredible people including @wait4ever, @londonfoginacup, @becomeawendybird, @briannamarguerite, @catfishau, @suddenclarityharry, and so so so many more. I’m so sorry I’m not naming all of you, because seriously without any of the people who have been so kind to me I just. Writing is hard and scary and the next question is gonna be where I show part of why it’s so hard and scary, but it’s because of the kindness I have found in this fandom that I feel like I can keep going.

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

*nervous laughter* yeah. I mean, there’s always parts of real life in fic, isn’t there? I find myself infusing bits of myself into my characters every time I write, but the fic that scared me the most and had me most worried it was total trash before posting it was actually Nowhere to Land. I couldn’t figure out why until today when I realized it was because so so so many of Harry’s worries and feelings about writing the article and his growth in the fic is very much everything I struggle with personally. I didn’t remember putting so much of myself into him, so I felt like posting him was like putting myself as a person out there for people to devour and either love or hate. Be kind or cruel about. And that’s fucking scary. So...yeah. Yeah real life always shows up, but Harry in that fic was kinda really me and that’s. A lot.

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Keep going. You can do so much more than you think you can. Build a support crew. It doesn’t matter if they’re other writers or cheerleaders or betas or whatever, but build a community specifically for your fic. They’ll help keep you going when you’re feeling stuck and unsure and they’ll save you. Find your people. And always use a beta, no matter how scary that seems. They’ll save you. haha

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Oh gosh yes. I mean, I’m posting my first hybrid fic and a hannah montana au and a sweet home alabama au and my very first futuristic fantasy epic adventure type au and all sorts of really fun things next year so i’m super crazy excited for the fic projects i’ve got going on just in the first several months of 2019. It’s gonna be an amazing year!

21. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

i love so many of you and i have no idea who has done this SO i’m just gonna go and tag some people, including those mentioned above!, and hope for the best! @greenfeelings, @mediawhorefics, @2tiedships2, @suddenclarityharry, @suspendrs, @shyshyserious, @marastarfar, @indiaalphawhiskey and any writer reading this who wants to do it!!!

[alittledizzy]

starter kit for bored phans

VIDEOS! CONTENT! STUFF FROM THE PAST MONTH! 

recent main channel videos!

The Top Dan Memes of 2017 (danisnotonfire - 14 Jan 2018)

I Read a Letter From My  Younger Self (AmazingPhil - 25 Jan 2018)

recent gaming videos!

THE LITERAL EMBODIMENT OF RAGE - Dan and Phil Play: Getting Over It 18 Jan 2018)

Dan vs. Phil: ZELDA OLYMPICS! (22 Jan 2018)

Can Dan and Phil Dress Anime Girls? (26 Jan 2018)

How To Be A Sexy Nerd - Guess the Wikihow! (31 Jan 2018)

TEENAGE ANGST TIME - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #49 (6 Feb 2018)

recent live shows!

WHAT TO LEAVE IN 2017 (Dan - 16 Jan 2018)

Phil’s Younow (Phil - 1 Feb 2018)

and now THE FUN PART, fan works! 

some super long (100k+, completed) fics for full immersion!

Exogenesis Symphony by SpectralNyx - let’s get this monster out of the way first: this fic is over 440k of vampire love story goodness. just go ahead and call in sick for work for at least a day. or a few days. tbh might be safe to go for the whole week.

Nothing Like a Storybook by Merrydith - Almost 250k of slow burn 2009 university au.

flashlight in the dark by cuddlydreamsonrainydays - Every time I see the kudos count on this fic I want to bop you all upside the heads because it deserves more love. Dan was born able to hear the thoughts of other people - and moves into an apartment across the hall from Phil’s. 105k, so good, please read it.  

So Many Stars by transdimensional_void - 150k of the most gorgeously crafted au that lands Dan and Phil as English teachers in Japan.

The Abstract Notion of Home by wallflowerchronicles - 100k of more university aus seriously pipe these right into my veins I want them all. This one is set in the US and Dan and Phil work together on a radio show.

Second Chance by phan_anon - I’m sorry, you want smut? Like super hot smut with feelings? And also knotting and abo dynamics? You want like 120k of it? Here ya go.

First Impressions (Perhaps I Was Wrong) by Ablissa  - Just under 110k of proof that there is literally never enough slow burn uni au in the world.

some still meaty but less all-consuming (40-100k, completed) fics to spend at least a couple hours wallowing in!

now and forever by waveydnp - 83k, roommate au. (oh my god. they were roommates.) if you haven’t read this au then idk who you even are. /disappointed mom face

Our Threadbare Lies by ramonaspeaks - Legit classic, if you haven’t read it I’m not sure how they even let you in the door. 58k, canon divergent but diverges... basically at the start. It’ll make sense when you read it.

light through an open door by queerofcups - 54k and if you haven’t read it then you must not have been following me for very long. another uni au (blessss.) but with the richest world building and original character development you could dream to want.

read between the lines (i will if you will) by Ablissa - 72k of 2009 sweetness and boys falling in love over Skype.

winter winds litter london with lonely hearts by danlester (isaacmclahey) - 56k, theater au! how are there not more of these with dan’s theater kid background? anyway, this one’s great.

There You Were (Inside My Brain) by parentaladvisorybullshitcontent - what? another uni au on the list? you’re damn right it is. Dan needs someone to help take notes for him and Phil gets the gig. And then they fall in love and 49k of fluff and happiness and goodness ensue.

where things come back. by commonemergency - hands down one of my faves from the pbb haul this year. 76k of ‘it hurts but you’ll like it’ storytelling.  

some authors who you should basically Just Read Everything by!

parentaladvisorybullshitcontent

hunterfics

thatsmistertoyou

cosmogeny

waveydnp

dantiloquent

iihappydaysii

dantique

queerofcups

phloridas

nihilist_toothpaste

commonemergency

kay_okay

deathlytireddan

thejigsawtimess

huphilpuffs

adorkablephil

dantique

AgingPhangirl

The_Blonde

symmetricdnp

ramonaspeaks

this is not a comprehensive list! please only consider it a starting point! feel free to reblog and add your own! i welcome that! exclamation point!

but! words aren’t all! there are some badass ARTISTS IN THIS PHANDOM so here’s some you should go and appreciate and reblog and grovel at the feet of! links go right to their art tags! also very much not comprehensive but a good start!

psychicmoth

pxheart

alinaazac

manged

stargazedpml

riu-sen

riggem

hey-laura

jess-scribbles

hlvnshk

martisun

queenusagiblog

backin2009

creamphilled

artokiddo

mortallyvirtualphan

marketakindlova

shizukaaoidesu

and if you’re still super craving some dan and phil in video form here are some fantastic compilations people have made on youtube!

oqua12. just, the whole channel

dan and phil monthly highlights, also just reccing the whole channel

dan and phil in jamaica (2010)

dan and phil making each other laugh, a series: the original, undertale, yasuhati, pinof

phil making himself laugh

dan and phil at the BONCAS (2016)

rough/touchy dan and phil (2009 through early 2016)

dan fiddling with his hair for 30 minutes

the dapg sims 4 playlist, for if you have exactly 18 hours 4 minutes and 21 seconds to put toward a rewatch

dan and phil singing in liveshows

dan and phil’s (v inebriated) q&a from SITC 2012

dan feeding phil

ladydoor compilation, for if you really hate yourself

that’s all, have a lovely day!