#there are many more do's and dont's to intergalactic space travel but this was what i could come up w on the fly | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zims-left-shoe · 4 years ago

Note

Hi, omg I love your stuff. Could I please request a tallest red x human female? I dont really have a specific idea. Just some fluff or headcannons is fine. Thank you so much. ILY😘

Yeah, of course! There’s a lot of dialogue, but I promise there’s fluff in the end!

Everything had been going so well. Until it didn’t.

A quiet moan of pain slipped out of your mouth as you continued to stay curled in fetal position on some hard surface, most likely a floor. Experimentally, you attempted to open your eyes, only to have your vision swamped by flashing saturated colors. You screwed your eyes shut again, drowning in the disorientation. There were probably voices around you, but they reached your ears as incoherent mumblings. Apparently, humans weren’t meant for instant intergalactic teleportation across schmillions of light years.

You were unsure of how long you had been laying wherever you were, nor did you suppose it mattered. Ever since you had been mildly conscious, you had been trying to recall what exactly had happened, without much luck. However, the second you had stopped caring about the preceding events, they all hit you with the force of twenty one bullet trains.

"Behold! Doesn't it amaze you?!" A very short alien gestured wildly to a glowing portal, grinning madly as if he couldn't believe his own genius.

"Yes, Zim. It's very nice." Smiling uneasily, you nodded, your palms becoming slick with sweat. Over the years, you had learned to just agree with whatever Zim said, things went over much smoother that way. However, that didn't mean you weren't worried. Whatever Zim created tended to backfire...violently. Or explode. Or not work as intended. Or all of the above.

"Okay? But what does it even do?" The other human in the room spoke, more openly skeptic than you were. Purple light reflected off of his glasses as he shuffled through papers of calculations, which he couldn't read anyway, considering they were written in Irken. "Or, more accurately, what is it supposed to do?"

"You imply that Zim's inventions never work as they should, Dib-stink!" Zim crossed his arms and turned away from Dib, clearly less than pleased with his lack of enthusiasm.

"That's because they don't!"

"Name one time!"

"Shall we take a look in The Cabinet?" The man decked out in black and blue thrusted an arm out towards a cabinet threatening to explode with close to ten years' worth of records of failed plans. Zim growled, lunging at Dib who was bent over in laughter. Before he could get very far, you grabbed the Irken's ankle, yanking him back.

"That's enough, you two. Honestly. Act your age." The two disgruntled men grumbled complaints under their breath, but ceased their childish antics. If you hadn't known them for years, you wouldn't have believed that these two were now adults. "Now, Zim, could you kindly tell us what this thing does?" Your voice was soft and patient, hoping to set him back on track. He tended to become distracted quite often.

"Yes! It's a portal that will allow the instant transportation of anything, the range being the entire universe!" He spread his arms wide, a laugh already bubbling up in his throat. Dib groaned and rolled his eyes.

"I thought you were working on the Irken conversions so I could finish my part on the ship." You couldn't help but crack a smile. Their ship was never going to be finished at this rate.

"Yes, but this is much more important! I have an ingenious plan for it!"

"Enlighten us." Dib spoke flatly, still not convinced.

Zim pulled out a box wrapped up like a gift, complete with a neat little pink bow. "Zim will send this to my Tallest using the portal! Trust me, they'll love what's in here." Light from the portal glinted menacingly off of his teeth. The box made hushed mewling noises and began to ooze green goo.

"Is...is it alive?" Your voice was cautious. You took a step back when the box began to shake in his hands, bumping your back against one of the many machines in his lab.

"Zim, we've talked about this. The Tallest don't care, Irk has abandoned you, let it go. You know as well as I do that your mission isn't real, and that it's over." Dib sighed, not with frustration, more so pity. A few years ago when Zim had finally got it through his thick skull that his mission was a trick, it had devastated him to a point that no one had ever seen. You saw how much he needed a job, and Dib did as well. Dib had an issue with it in the beginning, but you both took him in, using his science skills to aid in Dib's personal projects. The last plan you were aware of was that the two were working on a ship of their own that would let them travel space together, something about Dib getting presentable proof of alien life while at the same time giving Zim a purpose. Zim seemed to have forgotten about Irk. Until now, at least.

"Don't worry about it! It's...a parting gift." The look in Zim's eyes brought you great discomfort. "Only a symbol of the termination of my service to the empire. That is all." His voice was pleasant enough, but you sensed some dark undertones. His fingers danced away on the controls, a dull hum echoing through the base as the portal fired up it's key functions. 'The Massive' and some coordinates became displayed on the screen above the portal, the destination locked in.

"Zim…" Dib took a step forward, as did you. "You've had plenty of bad ideas, but I think this one is going to take the cake. So just shut the thing off." Zim shrugged his concerns off, stepping closer to the portal with the box that was becoming more aggressive the closer it came. Red light emitted from a lens at the top of the portal as it scanned the box in Zim's hand.

"Scan complete. Item composition: deadly. If transported, item will cause half of the universe to implode." The voice of the computer drawled. Your eyes widened as you looked to Zim, who acted as if he didn't hear the warning. More likely, he didn't care. When did he ever? He brought his arm back as he stood in front of the portal, preparing to throw the box.

Although it happened in the course of only a split second, it all was in slow motion for you. Without thinking, you took off, sprinting across the small room and leaping at Zim, harshly shoving him and the box out of the way of the portal. You had managed to prevent the tragedy of space implosion, but unfortunately, your forward motion continued, sending you through the portal. You had heard Dib's scream, but it sounded a million miles away. Your brain couldn't comprehend what had happened during the course of the teleportation, so it put you out of your misery, allowing you to pass out.

"Ugh...Zim. Of course." You forced yourself to sit up, rubbing your eyes with closed fists. You were slouched over, and once the static finally cleared from your vision, you blinked several times until your eyes adjusted to the new light. The panicked whispers from before continued, but you could now make out what they were saying.

"Did she say 'Zim'?"

"What creature is it?"

"Is it a weapon?"

Your brain finally jumpstarted, and you whipped your head around, eyes darting from one face to another. Several Irkens surrounded you, to where you couldn't see anything but a sea of green. You scooted backwards to create more room between you and the crowd, bumping into something behind you. You jerked yourself around, facing two of the tallest creatures you had ever seen. Instantly you recognized them as Zim's Almighty Tallest. They were much taller in real life than you imagined them to be. Even as an adult female standing at your full height, you knew they would tower over you. Hell, they would overtake Dib by a landslide, who now stood well over six feet. They bent over you to get a better look. After a second of silent observation, the one in purple straightened up and groaned loudly, throwing his arms in the air.

"Oh god, it's one of those creatures that inhabits Zim's planet!" The purple one resumed wailing madly. The one dressed in red straightened up as well, but said nothing. His red bug eyes rested on you quizzically, intrigued by your mere existence. "You! How did you get here?" The purple one pointed a long and slender finger at you, his face filled with pure terror.

"I went through Zim's portal, it was an accident-" Your voice was panicky. Almost all of the Irkens around you were riddled with anxiety, which you absorbed like a sponge.

"So, Zim sent you!" The purple one just loved to shout, didn't he? You wondered if this was a common trait among Irkens.

"No! It-"

"He sent you for malicious purposes! Like, to, uh...to annoy us into oblivion! Yeah!" So, the purple one was a moron. Good to know. Nevertheless, the crowd of Irkens began mumbling, as if you were trapped in a high energy court room.

"This is all a big misunderstanding, now maybe you could just...drop me off at home, or maybe send me with an escape pod or something-"

"To the dungeons with her!" The purple one screeched, yet again pointing a finger at you.

"Yes, My Tallest!" Two guards came up to you with taser spears, and you concluded it would be best not to fight. You had been electrocuted with high voltage electricity in Zim's lab once on accident, and it did not feel pleasant. A sigh fell from your lips as each guard took an arm, dragging you to the dungeons of The Massive while cheers rose from the Irken crowd.

"I swear, I will kill Zim when I get my hands on him." You muttered, tossing a coin you had in your pocket against the wall for the four thousandth time. You sat on the floor of your cell, the cold concrete making you shiver. The wall that pressed against your back was the same. There wasn't even a cot in there. Iron bars with buzzing electricity fields between them blocked your exit.

"That's not the first time I've heard that in here." A voice floated toward your ears, however it was muffled by the surrounding concrete.

"Who are you?" You had assumed you were alone in there. After all, how often could you possibly use a dungeon on an armada flagship?

"I'm Deek. I think. Honestly, I've been here so long I can't even remember." The voice, which sounded male, giggled. "Anyway, what are you in here for?"

"Not sure. Trespassing, maybe? The more accurate term would be a kneejerk reaction. What about you?"

"Being annoying. I guess."

"Shit, really? I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's better than being tossed out the airlock." You ceased throwing the coin. Decidedly, Irken society seemed to be hell in space. "In fact, they just threw Jix out last week. Poor gal." Deek's voice held a tinge of sadness. Images flashed through your mind of your body being launched into space. That wasn't how you had envisioned dying. You shuddered.

The sound of a door opening and steps approaching your cell caused every muscle in your body to tense. You vaguely wondered if it was your turn for death by airlock. You squeezed your eyes shut, curling yourself into a ball with your face between your knees, not wanting to see who had stopped in front of your cell.

"So..." The voice was level and calm, a stark contrast to the chaos of before. Cautiously, you lifted your head, opening your eyes. At your level, you could only see a long crimson skirt. Pushing yourself up to a standing position, you still had to crane your neck to see his face. The red Tallest stood before you, a bored expression plastered on his face.

"Are you here to kill me?"

"Uh..." He almost seemed surprised that you had asked that. Even still, you wouldn't take any chances.

"You shouldn't kill me! Just, you know, reverse engineer the phenomena or something and teleport me back! Or even send me in an escape pod! Humans, uhm, we cause massive explosions when killed! Yeah! So you'd destroy yourself in the process." If he had sensed you were lying, he didn't care. However, he did look puzzled by your desperate reaction.

"What? No, I'm not here to kill you." He let out a massive sigh, bending over to look you in the eye. "I'm just bored. There's only so much of Purple's antics I can take at a time." Your shoulders relaxed in immediate relief.

"Wait, his name is Purple? Let me guess, your name is Red?" That was such a strange notion to you. Every other Irken you had heard of all had such bizarre names, and apparently these two just went by Red and Purple.

"Yeah? So? Also, it's Tallest to you." The threatening tone inserted into his words was half-hearted at best.

"Can't I call you Red? I'm not Irken."

"I don't think so, short-thing."

"Why not? And I'm not short! You're just tall. Plus, my name is Y/n. Not short-thing." You huffed, unconsciously shifting to stand on your toes, increasing your height by maybe an inch at the most. He seemed to appreciate his height being acknowledged, so he relented.

"Fine, do what you want." Red continued to stare at you, almost as if he couldn't quite understand what you were. You didn't blame him, the circumstance had been kind of sudden. Plus, he hadn't heard from Zim in years. Most likely, everyone had assumed him to be dead.

"You said you were bored? I'll have you know, I can be quite entertaining! So maybe you could, I dunno, get me out of here?" Your lips lifted in a sweet smile, hoping Irkens could be swayed by charm. There was a second of silence as he mulled the idea over. On one hand, it would give him something to do besides eat and blow things up. On the other, if anyone saw, many questions would arise. Despite his concerns, curiosity won out. With his two thin fingers, he tapped a code into a keypad on the wall. There was a dying buzz as the electricity stopped flowing and the iron bars were lifted. There was a part of you that was amazed that he actually let you out. You stepped out, watching his face to make sure he wasn't bluffing about sparing your life. Not a muscle in his body so much as twitched, hell, you weren't even sure if he was breathing. You didn't know how he could with a waist like that. "So, what now?"

"I thought you said you were the master of fun?"

"I said I was entertaining, not the master of fun. But, I dunno, we could start by getting out of here. Space prison kind of kills the vibe."

"Fine." Red began walking, well, hovering down the hall. He did not look back to see if you were following, and you had to jog to catch up. "Oh, and this isn't space prison, that's Moo-Ping 10. This is more like space holding."

"There's a difference?"

"Oh yeah." You were sure you were both still in the belly of the ship, considering you never once went up a flight of stairs. However, you had exited the dungeon area, and emerged into a more open room. There were some tables and chairs, and the room was lit by white florescent lights. Everything else within the room was some shade of pink. Occasionally, he would take a quick glance around, as if to make sure no one was watching. Was he supposed to be down here? If he was a supreme leader of society, you weren't sure why it mattered where he was or who he was with.

"What is this place?" You finally asked as he took a seat in a chair, chin resting in his hand. His glances in your direction were fleeting and infrequient, almost as if he were embarrassed to be intrigued by something so short.

"Not sure. An unused dining hall maybe?" Satisfied with his answer, you took a seat next to him. Taking the opportunity to look him up and down, youwere confused by his anatomy. He was built differently than every Irken you had ever seen. You pointed to his impossibly skinny waist.

"How?" You opted for that phrasing, as you were unsure if 'is that natural?' would have been rude.

"Hm? Oh. Corset." His answers to everything were quick and simple. Even still, you couldn't help but stare in wonder.

"Doesn't it hurt?" You assumed having a corset tightened to such an extreme would be incredibly painful, but he only shrugged without a care.

"You get used to it. It's all part of being Tallest, just as is losing your thumbs." A smirk etched its way onto his face at your horrfied expression as his wiggled his two fingers through the gauntlet on his arm. Subconsciously you rubbed your thumbs, lips pursed in a tight line. "You're a curious little thing."

"You act like I'm a child! I'm a grown woman, thank you very much." You may still have been young by human standards, but you had still made it over the age of 18, so technically, you were an adult. Red chuckled at your pouting, as you had just proven his point unintentionally. A ghost of a smile was present on his face. Was he actually enjoying himself? You decided to switch gears. "The whole dynamic of Irk is strange."

"Oh yeah? How so?"

"It's like one big military." Red snickered, unable to stop the chuckle that rose from his chest.

"Of course it is. That's kind of our whole thing." He lifted a hand, trying to gesture to the armada as a whole.

"Oh, yeah. Right." Another silence fell between you two. It was rather difficult for you as a human to comprehend Irken society. It all just seemed so...foreign. So static and stiff.

Red was the first to speak again. "Tell me then. What's Earth like?" Excitedly, you sat up in your chair, eyes shining.

"Well, people still respect each other, sometimes anyway, but everyone is less stiff with each other. There's more kindness. Now, don't get me wrong, there are many who are full of hate and lots of people fight all the time, but it's still less so than Irk. Plus, height isn't such a huge deal. And there's relationships." Your words came out quickly, hands moving to accentuate your thoughts.

"Relationships?" If Red had eyebrows, they would be raised in questioning. His voice was laced with suspicion, as if he didn't trust the concept.

"Yeah! All different kinds. Familial, platonic, romantic, etc. You know, parents, siblings, friends, that kind of thing...usually, they're all based on love. And, no offense, but there seems to be an absence of that here." You had heard it from Zim many times before. Irkens can't feel love, they trust no one and all that. On some level, you doubted that to be true, rather it was more of a choice, that maybe they were told that love is a sign of weakness so they chose not to feel anything at all.

"Love...?" Red spit out the word as if it burned his tongue. Clearly, love was not a well thought of concept in Irken culture. After a moment, he appeared to recall something. "I think I remember something that happened years ago...Zim called about some romantic experiment he was running on some girl. Said it was very pain-based. This is something humans find...pleasant?" Waving your hands you shook your head in a clear 'no'. No wonder Red was concerned by the idea of love.

"No! Not unless you're a masochist anyway. I don't know what the hell he was doing, but that's not what love is."

His tone showed that he was still mildly disgusted with the topic, but nevertheless, he proceeded to ask for further clarification. "Then what is it?" Red was never very interested when Zim had been reporting ten-ish years ago, but now that he had a subject sitting right in front of him, the idea became somewhat exciting.

"Like, romantic love?" You asked, a small part of you hoping he was asking about platonic love instead. You weren't entirely sure how to explain romance to a species who understood nothing but pain and hierarchy. Red nodded, asking you to go on. You breathed out a relenting sigh, struggling for the right words to explain it. "Romance is...uhm…it's when..." Red peered at you expectantly, crimson eyes wide and inquisitive. Finally, you came up with something. "It's when you like someone very much, and you would do almost anything for them." He nodded slowly, looking as if he was beginning to grasp it.

"Like pledging your loyalty?" Loyalty was a thing Irkens could understand thoroughly.

"Yeah, like that! And you want to do lots of stuff together! Spend time together and all that. There's also physical affection." His head cocked to the side, similar to a puppy.

"Physical affection?"

"Ye...Yeah...!" Your feet shifted on the floor as you clutched the hem of your shirt between your fingers. You couldn't help but feel nervous under his gaze. Your face flushed as he stared out at you through half-lidded eyes, overly fixated on the topic of physical affection.

"What's that?" Once again, his voice was as even as could be. The corners of his mouth turned upwards in a grin, enjoying the way you were acting. It was quite amusing to him. You suddenly regretted bringing up the subject of romance.

"Like, examples?" Swallowing hard, your fingers began to drum on the table. How were you possibly supposed to describe it to him? He certainly wouldn't know what a hug or a kiss was. "I don't think I can exactly describe it to you..." You hoped he would leave it at that and move on.

Of course that wasn't the case. That was the problem with Irkens. Once they found a way to make you squirm, they would push until it was no longer fun. "Then show it to me." His response was quick, zero hesitation. He looked completely satisfied, for once not feeling that familiar dull, almost constant ache of boredom. You weren't sure about it at first, but the longer he looked at you with that smug expression, the more determined you became to wipe that smirk off his face.

"Fine." Irkens are touch-starved creatures. It wouldn't take anything too extreme to accomplish what you wanted. You stood up, moving over to plant yourself right in his lap. Taking his hand, you intertwined your fingers with his two, pressing your face into his chest. "Humans do things like cuddle and hold hands." His heartbeat was similar to a human's, the rhythym just slightly different. This close, you could hear the soft hum of his PAK. With your free hand, you traced indescribable shapes into his chest. If you were to look up, you would have seen his antennae twitching. Already, you had accomplished what you had set out to. He was no longer teasing or overconfident. Although he would never admit it, he was content with the attention. As you continued to draw random nothingness, Red let out what sounded like a low purr, the sound sending a pleasant rumble through his chest and against your skin. A series of quiet chirps followed, and you had to assume he was satisfied. You couldn't help but giggle, and at the time, the uncertainty of how you would get home was the furthest thing from your mind.

"Do humans do anything else?" Red attempted to suppress the spark in his voice, but was wildly unsuccessful. His tone was the farthest thing from passive. You let go of his hand, sitting up to face him.

"Of course we do." You experimentally raised a hand to his face, seeing if he would shy away. That was not the case, rather the opposite. He seemed to almost lean into your touch. You weren't sure why he was so okay with this; you supposed that each Irken had different policies and tolerances when it came to physical contact. Red seemed to be anxiously awaiting whatever was coming next, his expression eager. "Sometimes we give each other kisses." You didn't bother fighting the smile that played at your lips as you peppered several kisses all over his face. There was barely an inch of his cheeks and forehead that went untouched. Red's face felt hot beneath your lips, and if Irkens could blush, you were sure he would be completely flushed. His fingers had drifted to your sides, lightly resting there.

Hmm...Irkens are quite interesting... You thought as you held eye contact with Red. He was clearly embarrassed to be engaging in this, but more so at the fact that he was enjoying it. And yet, he held your gaze, unwilling to back down. You wondered what would happen if someone found him like this. What would even happen?

"The rest of human physical affection is rather intimate, so the lesson will have to end here." Before he could protest, you leaned in one last time, pressing your lips to where his should be. His fingers dug into your sides, antennae shooting straight up in the air. You had never dreamed that you would be kissing an alien leader on a warship in space, but you wouldn't say you were disappointed. Pulling away, Red's grip on you loosened, and something bright caught your eye. Small sparks were being thrown from his PAK, which concerned you slightly. "Uh, Red...?" Pointing a finger to his PAK, he shook his head wildly, and after a moment, everything seemed to be alright again.

"It's fine!" He spoke abruptly, voice loud and awkward. His voice drew in some company, as Purple stuck his head in the room.

"There you are! Zim keeps sending transmissions through and he's going crazy-" Red yelped, practically throwing you off of him and into the nearest chair he could find.

"So, do I go home now?" You asked, and for the first time, Purple seemed to notice you.

"Ack! How did you get out of the dungeons?!" Purple jumped back, despite already being across the room from you.

"I have super powers." You snickered at his frightened appearance. Red rolled his eyes, waving his counterpart off.

"Just go, I'll deal with Zim." Purple nodded, zipping out of the room. You weren't sure if your senses were playing tricks on you, or if Red really was disappointed to see you leave. "C'mon, Y/n. Let's go figure out how to reverse engineer a transport portal."

#invader zim #tallest red #invader zim fanfiction #invader zim x reader #invader zim fic #invader zim one shot #invader zim oneshot #fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot #one shot #request

139 notes · View notes

fore-n-aft · 5 years ago

Text

Get to know the blogger!

Tagged by: @thesepiratesbold

I’m tagging: @mappysnappy @farahbobbi-blog-blog @thiccflint @intergalactic-author

FIRST NAME Maddie (but I go by KC online)

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF ummmm I guess really really liking pirates isnt a strange fact on this blog is it

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON dude i dont even know anymore literally anything but also period costumes yeah

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF butter chicken!! also shreddies (the cereal)

A FOOD YOU HATE I really hate bell peppers and raw tomatoes

GUILTY PLEASURE uhhhh??? playing way too much video games

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN t-shirt and pajamas or shorts

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS idk anymore

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE maybe like developing a secure attachment style would be cool

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON in terms of physical contact.. i guess? depends on my mood but not always. sometimes i just kinda want my space. in terms of like spending time and shit like that yeah

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN i. dont know it depends on my mood ill always love potc

FAVORITE BOOK i mostly read nonfiction nowadays so idk??

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE oh god theres so many fish i want. pygmy sunfish, kuhli loaches, oscars, probably lots of others

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] five is too much man. im down for like mostly anything (ok maybe not anything) willabeth, tbh sparrington is p good, max/anne/rackham, also any combo of madi/silver/flint/the hamiltons

PIE OR CAKE both is good

FAVORITE SCENT ummmm ok this is weird but theres this like... fresh musty dirt smell that i can smell really strongly in the basement of my mom’s friend’s cottage

CELEBRITY CRUSH dont know her

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO disney cali :(

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT introvert

DO YOU SCARE EASILY oh my god yeah im a fucking g coward

IPHONE OR ANDROID android

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES as mentioned yes, atm ACNH/Apex Legends

DREAM JOB illustration would be really cool... anything that involved drawing/painting really

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS 1.take a trip to california 2. pay off my student loans 3. buy a comfortable home (3 bedroom kinda thing yknow, detached ideally) 4. god i’ve never thought about it enough past that. probably find some way to be able to make more money out of it (maybe like stocks or something idk how money works) so that i could 5. just start donating to people’s gofundme’s and everytime i talk to someone online who’s like “yea im homeless/cant pay for my meds/healthcare/etc” i can just be like “here u go”

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE idk?? if theres any i Really Hate? i mean theres lots that make me mad but like i like them as characters you know. but from that point of view I guess billy and woodes (like i said tho i like them as characters I just hate them, billy slightly less though)

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER idk about active as in posting but active as in searching and reblogging, steven universe maybe (i still do sometimes though since future came out), um idk what else?

#op #tag memes #okay i got it i finally came up with a tag #offtopic #there block that if you dont wanna see non-historical/age of sail shit

4 notes · View notes

humans-are-seriously-weird · 7 years ago

Text

on the post about earth prison, what if humans were once a major threat to the universe?

The humans are a horrid race where each individual could match 3 alien soldier equivelents and their society was ruled in a strict militaristic Empire. They had taken over a quarter of the universe before they could be thwarted. It took everyone else left to band together and take them out, culling their race in a costly war that spaned millenium. Eventually they got us down to an endangered species, only the richest diplomats who payed their way to be given the ‘mercy’ of being placed into a inhospitable prison with memory wipes. Earth. No technology on planet, heck the whole sol system is in a intergalactic black out zone to insure that no outsiders can find them in the chance certain individuals were payed off to save them before hand. Covered in more deseases than any place else in the universe, many of the strongest predators gathered and placed there to keep their numbers in check, with a good spinkling of poisoness plants and animals for good measure. A hair balanced ecosystem was also created so that in the off chance they happen to start progressing technologically again, in the minimum 6000 years (500 faster than the fastest progressing race recorded in universal history) it will take them to progress through the industrial age, their entire planet would have have become devoid of any form of sustenance to support themselves and they will either have to give up or die.

this is all punctuated with their already small planet being mostly covered in undrinkable water and filled with even more deadly creatures so as to deter them from populating its surface, hence keeping their numbers down. While this resulted in some of the landmasses being a little too hospitable, we evened things out by altering their structure until there was a constant threat of natural disasters to deter them from settling in those areas. We even went as far as placing fake evolutionary fossils around to help turn them away from thoughts of where they came from leading to ideas about space travel. I think we can safely assume they will serve their punishment for their races crimes well here, or die trying to escape it.

~year 3452AD earth years~

After finding a drifting peice of strange metal in space, a trading ship sent it into our department as it seemed to be sending out a strange noise on radio wavelengths. something only descovered due to certain animal cargo they were transporting stressing out when near the device. After our department analysed it and found it to be a message of peace we were exstatic, hoping to meet a new species to introduce to the galaxy. However the excitement died down quickly once its point of origin was tracked down… a black out zone containing the most heinous of criminals. Due to how it was traveling through space, we believe it was sent over 1000 years ago. Which should be impossible as due to all calculations they should barely be out of the stone age by now… these implications are worrying to say the least, and unbelievable to most. Although the majority have come to the conclusion it is simply some distastful prank, we must check to be sure.

And so the first check up on the human prison was started. A fleet of 300 science vessals to quickly scan the planet and leave within a few days. They also were accompanied by 20 military ships to deter any would-be pirates. They all enter ftl with the destination of earths moon to set up a temporary station while the scanning will be on going.

The crew is discussing and argueing about whether the humans will either be dead or they will get to see the galactic boogey men poking at monsterous beasts such as the legendary ferocious 'bull’ with sticks. Only to be shocked into silence upon exit of ftl to see litterally tens of thousands of battle space ships aiming their weaponry at them, their sensors indicating that at least 20 of the biggest ships have weaponry that can wipe through a quarter of their fleet and their sheilds in a single blast. After only 5 minutes of silence their com links seem to have already been hacked through and a screen opens with a terrifying angry human on the other side shouting at them in another language, after a breif few seconds the auto translator kicks in and their voice rocks them to the core.

“I repeat! You are in the United Continents of Earths no space flight zone! Identify yourselves immediately or by law we will be forced to remove you perminantly via lethal means!”

The chief scientist scrambles at the controls before managing to hit the right button “W-we come in peace! j-just some civilian vessals passing through, we will just… turn and go now! haha!” he blurts out nervously as a few crew facepalm and the rest sweat just as nervously.

“civilians is it? a likely story! Do you take me as a fool!?”

“oh no of c-”

“I dont even need to glance at my scanners to see the military vessels hidden among your fleet! Who are you allied to?! Is it those red mars scum!? no… the ship style isnt like them… Ah, you must be part of those damn reclusive jupitarians huh? the saturnites giving you too much trouble so you tried to sneak back the homeworld did you? well too ba-” the angry human is interrupted by a smaller and thinner human arriving beside him, handing over a peice of glass with glowing letters before saluting and running off. The angry man peruses it for a short while, tension in the air before a disturbingly sweet smile crosses his face.

“Well well, honored guests from another galaxy is it? forgive my inhospitality earlier, i was unaware who you were. It seems obvious we couldnt identify you sooner now. Please, do let us guide you down planet side so we can talk further on this…” he glances down at the glass again “ FTL drive. I am sure we can come to a reasonable understanding.”

Alien crew members start screaming things like “oh gods! how do they-” “we cant!” “we would be hated as the villains who brought mankind back to the universe!” “were screwed!” before they are quitened down and the cheif researcher tries to see if they can be reasoned with.

“o-oh, we simply couldnt, perhaps another time! uhh, we really dont want to inconvenience you.”

“oh no, I insist.” the human punctuates his words by waving his hand in a seemingly meaningless gesture… if you were able to ignore the entire fleet of tens of thousands of warships move out almost immediately after to surround them.

“fuck…”

(this idea got a little away from me, plus bad writing cuz im lazy on my mobile)

694 notes · View notes

seethingballofhatred · 7 years ago

Text

Truce AU -Steven universe

This is LONG and im sorry i cant make a cut on mobile. Anyway pink wasnt shattered in this au and she just disapeared,with her high court the zoo and all the rose quartz gems after they were bubbled, but she is presumed dead Shortly after pink disapeared, blue attempted to make a truce with rose. The earth is a gem colony that will not be "renovated" or used to make gems. Its usually where defective gems are sent, but any gem can travel to earth if she desires. Rose controls the earth though it is considered blues colony. Steven still happens, and is basically raised to be in a high position of power. Though most leadership was left to garnet amethyst and pearl The trial does still occur, though its because steven felt he needed to be tried for roses war crimes that she never delt with (as the diamonds couldnt get her in order to do a trial) This is what causes zircon to get interest, so thats why shes on earth with howlite :p Gems who live on earth are integrated with human society, and will either be symbolless or have a star. So you can tell wich gems are visiting earth (usually, as many gems choose to live on earth and havent gotten a star yet) The corruption bomb never happened sooo no corrupted gems The humans are treated equal, though most governments are controlled by gems (their better at leadership than humans, but their councels are full of humans usually) Cluster never happened (blue wont let yellow get near the planet, shes still super sad about pink and all that) They attempted to find pink diamond for many centuries, but they just couldnt find her.. Rumors say there are still search parties going throughout the galaxy Pink diamond took her gems and her zoo to a planet near the edge of the galaxy, one that isnt on the diamonds star maps and is very similar to earth, so the zoomans dont need to stay in the zoo Steven grew up taking frequent trips to homeworld to watch the crystal gems discuss imortant matters, this eventually switched to steven when the cg thought he was ready (this is probably some point during s4, even though many plot points are different) Aquamarine and topaz are sent to earth in order to collect some human specimen, as blue and yellow wanted to do research on them. (Blue from sheer curiosity, yellow because she wanted to get more control over them, i.e making weapons that would effect them and stuff) Steven volunteers for the trial when he learns more about rose, and pink diamonds disappearance. The crystal gems beg him not to do it, but he thinks it needs to be done. Neither zircon is poofed in the trial, blue zircon does her job well and steven is tried as innocent, steven having been on homeworld many times before, kind of knows how the legal system works and asks that instead of yellow zircon being shattered, she is sent to live on earth with no allowance to visit homeworld or any other colonies. Yellow and blue diamond find this acceptable. yellow zircon lives with lapis and peridot in an apartment in beach city. Gems are all over the earth and there are many of them, due to their influence on human society and culture, the humans are not racist or anything, and they have many technological advancements. Greg and connie (also lars when he becomes pink lars) are human representatives for homeworld and other colonies. Greg because he was close to rose, she would bring him along. Connie is considered stevens "human mate" (even though they are not together...as of now) her parents are very proud of her for being an intergalactic diplomat. And lars as he basically becomes stevens "guard", steven wants to keep lars near by (so he always has an escape route if need be and because hes just a sweet boy who loves his zombie friend okay?) Blue zircon doesnt live on earth, but she spends all her free time there, whether she is relaxing or preparing for a case, you can usually find her somewhere on the coast (usually the outskirts of beach city, outside city limits but still close enough that you could say shes in beach city) looking over files or reading human books. Howlite is usually bugging her (btw, while this isnt fully an oc insert au just for my ocs, im including howlite in anything with zircon... Let my law girlfriends be happy ok) The off colours are on earth, as padparacha and rutile were sent there soon after popping out, rhodonite and flourite came later when they were discovered. They live in a house in the country (around the barn area) they have an area big enough for flourite to have her own space, they are happy, steven visits when he gets the chance, garnet will always check in on rhodonite and flourite, checking up on relationships and asking if they need anything for their home (these babies are shy and wont go into town to get things, its cute) Pearl has a gang of bad ass "rebel" pearls, they are commonly seen sparring on the beach, or being moms around the town (to everyone.. I swear) Amethyst spends alot of time with the famethyst, as they were never taken off earth and sent to work in the zoo, amethyst didnt really pop out alone as the amethyst above her would often go to the kindergarden to see if the amethyst below her would ever come out. This means amethyst wasnt super involved with the crystal gems, but her and the famethyst (including the jaspers and carnelian) are considered an off-branch of the crystal gems, amethyst goes along to the homeworld meetings as a representative for the gems made on earth, as for some reason the famethyst wanted her to represent them) Sadly holly blue is never roasted by pearl, may this amazing scene rest in peace. Holly wants nothing to do with the earth and wont go to it unless blue instructs her too, which she has never done, holly is grateful. Jasper is part of the famethyst, is still a salty butt and is like a big sister to ALL OF THEM (suprising that she wasnt the representative for all of them) Jasper hopes they find pink diamond some day, as do the rest of the famethyst, they feel abandoned by their diamond and hope she will return some day The famethyst is more than just the gems that are originally at the zoo, it is every quartz soldier (other than roses) to ever come out of earth Pink is guilty that she couldnt bring every one of her gems with her, and is often quite sad because of this. Pink is never found, never returns to the earth. However some of her court have visted earth in secret to update their diamond on her colony, and her gems. She cries happy tears with every sparce report. Pink lets her gems do whatever they wish on their new planet, human civilization thrives, pink thinks one day she will need to inform earth of their sister human colony. One of the rare reports was done by a sapphire, her future vision gave her two paths, to inform the famethyst (pink knows about them and loves that her children stick together) of their diamonds wereabouts, or to return to earth 2.0 and never let them know. She watches them for many days and thinks they would be happier staying on earth, she informs pink of this. Pink respects her choice. The entire famethyst dont have stars (including our amethyst) all have pink diamonds, yellow and blue think this is strange, but they understand that they are still loyal to their missing diamond. There are many cities throughout earth that are populated by only gems, some of these are inhabited by only permafusions (the cities are not limited to gems and fusions, these are just areas humans chose to not live in, or eventually abandoned.) They are all like small town cities, with one or two streets, they occasionally get shipments of suplies (like food and stuff, even if they dont need it, many of them enjoy eating or doing "human" things) Garnet once considered moving to one of these towns, but decided she needed to stay with the crystal gems. She has told the off colours about these towns, but they prefer seclusion, garnet wont force them to do anything they are uncomfortable with, so she suggests it once, they turn it down, never talked about again. Steven finds lion while hes exploring the earth one day, since corrupted gems dont exist on earth, they had no reason to go to the desert. But steven happened upon it one day, lion was lying near the warp pad, waiting patiently for rose to come visit him again, lion takes a liking to steven, all the cuteness ensues. Lars doesnt turn pink on homeworld, he develops a terminal illness, when steven learns of this he tries to use his healing spit to stop it, it doesnt work, lars dies soon after, steven cries over lars when he visits with sadie, lars parents are already in the room, his mother bawling, his father barely holding himself together. When lars wakes up from death, his mothers tears turn from sad to happy, his father finally lets his tears flow, steven and sadie freak out for a few seconds before takling him with hugs. A doctor checks lars for any sign of the illness, its gone. Yellow zircon, peridot, and lapis are the loudest ones in their apartment building. They have almost been kicked out several times. Zircon talks the land lord into letting them stay, every time. Yellow zircon will often visit blue, they had a whole heart to heart thing. Blue expecting yellow to be furious about being trapped on earth and out of a proper job (shes going to law school to be a lawyer on earth, and currently works at a mall in the nearby town sice beach city doesnt have one..i think.) Yellow said that shes not upset, she just misses homeworld sometimes, though she enjoys her new life with peridot and lapis. They spend alot of time comparing homeworld law to earth law, how annoying law school is even though yellow was litteraly MADE to be a lawyer. Blue is thankful she doesnt have to do schooling on earth. Blue zircon has made many friends on earth, and spends alot of time on the planet. For some reason she doesnt feel the need to move to the planet, she feels like all her trips to homeworld would make it pointless and she might aswell remain living on homeworld. Yellow zircon and howlite eventually talk her into moving to earth, she lives in the same apartment complex as yellow, lapis and peridot, with howlite. The noise drives her nuts, howlite assures her shell get used to it. She never gets used to it. Zircon doesnt get how they sound like their in the same room, when they are on completely seperate ends of the building (yz peri and lapis are on the top floor near the front of the building, bz and howlite are on the second floor in the back) Zircon does not blame the land lord for hating them, she eventually demands they learn how to be quiet, as legally the land lord can kick them out at any time (from the many.. Many noise complaints) Howlite takes trips to homeworld, as any gems arested on earth are usually sent to homeworld for trial, then given back to the earth to decide what to do with them. Howlite (and other howlites and turquoises) is usually the one(s) to deliver the gems. Howlite also just works as a general cop (*coughcough security officer at a mall coughcough*) on earth Gems arested on earth are usually bubbled and kept in the burning room for however long their sentance is, pearl puts sticky notes on every bubble, on who the gem was, why they were bubbled, how long the sentance is, and the year they were bubbled. Yellow zircon ended up living with peri and lapis, because she didnt know what to do or where to go, steven took her to the appartment, asked the girls to help her get on her feet, they grew attached and she never left. Yellow zircon and peridot where normal human clothes (yz gets a discount from the store she works at so why not take advantage of it?) Lapis doesnt understand why they like human clothes so much. Yz loves baggy shirts and pants (she kinda misses the bell bottoms... Oh well). Peridot loves the fluffy sweaters, croptops, and cute shorts. She thinks shoes are weird so she usually goes barefoot. Peridot doesnt have a job, she stays home with their dog named pumpkin (shes a weiner dog and they love her) lapis works at fun land, as stayed before, yz works in a clothes shop at a mall. The famethyst have basically made their own city at the alpha kindergarden, it is recognized as an acctual city, and is the only one to be solely inhabited by just quarts soldiers. This town has no buildings or anything, its just the famethyst sparring and being quartz soldiers, the ones who enjoy sleep will sleep in their holes (any gems from the beta kimdergarden who like sleep will find an abandoned hole, that probably belonged to a rose quartz and claim it as their own) They all enjoy food.. All of them. (Except jasper.. She eats rarely though) so the town does get food shipments occasionally. Jasper is declared "mayor" of the town, they dont know what a mayor is.. But.. Jasper is it. Homeworld has a stigma with earth, that every gem there is defective. Though many gems living on earth still work for homeworld, some have hard times getting jobs, as gems would rather have a gem from anywhere else. It sucks and was a main reason blue zircon was scared to move to earth in the first place. Blue zircon does still have alot of work however, as she is usually the gem assigned to defend gems arrested on earth (as she knows how earth culture works, and many homeworld gems dont) Of course there are many other zircons on earth, same with any other gem. Theres many of every kind. Many gems will deny their purpose entirely and go to human college to pursue a new path. Sapphires have become scientists, quartz soldiers have become teachers, pearls have become famous chefs. Its known on homeworld that on earth you can do whatever you wish, though this makes the homeworld gems despise the earth more, why would a gem deviate from her purpose? She was made to do something, why would she go to earth to do something entirely different?

68 notes · View notes