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marxsgrandson · 5 years ago

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“You’re not Russian, you’re just American with some Russian blood”- my Israeli PS professor (who is neither Russian nor American nor knows anything about me)

Long post ahead: read it if you’d like but mostly just hoping there’s someone else who can relate to the feelings I’m about to express. So here goes:

Had an unbelievably shitty day today.

I’m in this one political science class. It always ends up somehow ruining my mood. It’s the one with the shitty German men who confronted me in a group after class accusing me of being uncritical towards the Soviet Union, being an antisemite (lol these aryan guys were calling me an antisemite. Like they’re confirmed non-Jewish) and being a dumbass for not idk sucking Gorbachev’s dick personally would be the next leap there. Idk if I posted that here, but it’s necessary context.

Anyways today we were talking about Russia’s motive in x place and just jumping around to every unrelated topic about something about Russia because our class always gets sidetracked and never finishes the lesson we were supposed to do. And of course the Europeans were being pieces of shit.

And the prof said something like “I wish we had Russians in the class to offer maybe a Russian perspective too... like gosh that would be nice. Do we have any Russians?” And I sort of tentatively raised my hand half way because I’m half Russian and when she was looking around the room and didn’t see me, I said “I’m half Russian and this is actually something I heard and talked a lot about growing up, I could take a try at it”

“You’re not Russian, you’re just American with a little Russian blood” she said, dismissing me entirely as the class laughed like it was the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. I now realize what it means when people say they feel stung. I was paralyzed by those words and I don’t really know why. What makes it hurt more is that starting two seconds later she called on a series of five German douchebags to try and explain Russia’s motives and says “huh that’s an interesting idea” after each of them say something painfully obviously wrong. And I felt frozen.

If given the chance to unfreeze myself, I wish I said what I was feeling but didn’t have words for: “Hey. That’s not true. Russian was the language I said my first words in. It’s the language of my childhood and my soul. It connected me to something I felt distant from during the school day. I taught myself to read this language as soon as my mom taught me the alphabet as a little kid. I went to Russian school on the weekends when I was young. I worked hard to keep up this language even though I went through shit from my peers for it. I was the only speaker of this language I knew that was my age after the age of 10. The only other time I’d hear it was when my mom criticized me, wanted to manipulate me (because I told her she sounded sweeter in Russian so she used that to her advantage in making my life hell) bc my brother stopped speaking at a young age.

The only reason I have this connection is because I’ve never worked harder for anything else in my life. I took years of Russian lit courses (in Russian) at the local uni when I was in high school. Until then I’d only done math and reading (just for fun not for school) in Russian. Having learning and sight disabilities and being expected to keep up with both college and high school class and workloads was overwhelming at times. Like I was 14, this wasn’t an “easy A” as my friends joked, it was a college level literature course. But I loved it like nothing else. It was an oasis of peace during my adolesence just getting to hear my dearest language spoken by both native speakers and those who adopted it just because of their love for it. It was the first time I realized that this aspect of me isn’t shameful. Plus, the college kids treated me like I was such a hotshot because I grew up speaking the language and I was like a tiny 14 year old in a russia Olympic jacket and a bowl cut so that made my life. Just getting to be around places where for once, I understood everything that was being said in the exact emotion it was intended, having my cultural touchstones be the norm and that I got to interact with instantly more people in this language was really special.

Maybe what pissed me off so much is not only that I think it’s wrong, but that I think she’s right. My experience is different from a Russian experience, which is why I never claimed to be Russian even when I was the most Russian person in that classroom. My experience of being Russian (Jewish) (Italian)American is as much a story of love and connection as it is of shame and disconnection. It is the story of pain feeling inadequate to everyone, always. When I was six, kids were already refusing to play with me because their parents told them I was a spy or an enemy (which wtf who parents their kid like that) just because I talked about visiting my family in the summer (which is a normal thing to do) and gd forbid they live in RUSSIA. The bullshit hasn’t stopped since. My entire childhood, my mom was vigilant about who I was allowed to tell about being Russian because of it. I thought Russian a really important language to people here. I thought they cared about us. I thought someone else who didn’t have to care about us, fucking cared about us Russian Jews. How can a fellow Jew, an academic, not understand the inherent pluralism of Jewish and Russian experiences when she’s lived in this country surrounded by Russian Jews her whole life?

And I get it. I’m not technically Russian. I don’t have a Russian passport. I didn’t grow up in Russia and that still means there’s always someone more qualified to answer certain questions. But I didn’t think it was going to be some goyische fucking German. Cuz at least I saw saturated with these types of discussions about Russian politics, not being allowed to voice my opinion bc these are Russian jewish middle aged and older people lol kids don’t have valid opinions to them, but listening intently since infancy. I watched Russian news and tv shows (we didn’t have money for both English and Russian language tv so my mom chose the Russian tv channels) on the rare occasion I sat in front of the tv. I hung around Russian speakers more than English speakers (of my parent’s age and older) for most of my childhood until this year. And it’s not just the language, it’s the culture too. It’s the fact that no one around me shared these cultural touchstones growing up. and I didn’t share their American ones even though I grew up in the US.

But trips to Russia didn’t make me feel understood in the ways I craved it would. My family always commented on how amazingly I spoke Russian «просто без акцента!» (without an accent) *insert kisses from relatives you don’t even know who they are but they know everything about you* so I was always kind of aware that I couldn’t seamlessly fit in there either. Especially when in my mom’s small town, children who played with me had literally never seen someone with my color of skin and told me I looked “dirty” which catalyzed my whole washing my hands till my arms got dry and peeled and being frightened that I wasn’t getting “cleaner” and then getting diagnosed with my second subset of OCD at the age of seven. I had so many fond memories of my mom’s hometown. So much nostalgia. But I also have memories which pain me, like the many times I was chased out of stores or once in a doctor’s office because the person assumed I was Roma because of my appearance (like I said, small town). Things got even worse when the school I went to summer camp/summer classes in my mom’s hometown found out I was JEWISH. Oof. My mom convinced me that I was betraying my culture and my ancestors and alienating myself from my grandmother when I came out to her at 11, when I cut my hair after three years of her daily verbal harassment in my mother tongue (she knew it hurts more like that). She said if I wanted to continue “on this path” I would lose all connection to Russia.... “and you don’t want that, do you?” Suffice it to say, I got the message pretty young that I don’t belong in Russia either.

My whole life I’ve been translating half of my world to the other half of my world. And within each of these worlds I must translate my contexts many fold times more. (My Babushka still doesn’t know why I’m putting “poison” in my body for what she sees as a character flaw because she just doesn’t have the context for what ADHD is and the way I was taught to translate it in Russian is «дефицит внимание» or “deficit of attention/carefulness” which as far as she’s concerned is just an American invention for what could really be solved if I just sat more still.) And this has made my world so much richer to be lucky enough to have two native languages in which I learned how to express myself and gave me two whole realms through which to intimately understand the world and all of its nuances. You gain a family when you speak a language. It’s unlike anything else! It was even more special that I got to add Arabic at 12 and now Hebrew. I’m so lucky. But an inherent downside of being taught world views that conflict with each other in some very fundamental ways is really hard when you’re autistic and have ADHD because you have to juggle not just one set of social cues and norms, but two (or more, shout out to the multilinguals from childhood). It’s hard but it’s important and I’m so lucky that this was my birthright. I just wish people would take two seconds to try and understand. Or at least think about if something they said might make someone else feel like this, especially if they’re jewish. Like to ya it’s not a new thing to be torn in many directions. Even here where it’s the dominant culture, I expected her as someone who lives here and is an academic, she’d be better.

#jewish #class #school #study abroad #russian #russian jewish #queer #trans #russian jew #jew #adhd #autism #diaspora tag

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thedcdunce · 6 years ago

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Grifter

“Now I've got another suspect. Fuck it... I'll just kill 'em both.” - Grifter

Real Name: Cole Cash

Aliases:

Deadeye

Gender: Male

Height: 6′ 3″

Weight: 195 lbs (88 kg)

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Blonde

Powers:

Gen-Factor

Abilities:

Peak Human Condition

Indomitable Will

Deception

Espionage

Master Tactician

Survival

Military Protocol

Driving

Master Marksman

Master Combatant

Weaponry

Multilingualism

Weaknesses:

The Rush

Weak Healing Factor

Equipment:

Tunic

Trench Coat

VAD PP30

Little Magnum

Various High-Tech Munitions

Universe: Wildstorm Universe

Citizenship: American

Base of Operations:

The Carrier

Halo Building, New York City

Marital Status: Single

Occupation:

Soldier

Mercenary

Intelligence Agent

VP of Halo Corporation

First Appearance: WildC.A.T.s #1 (August, 1992)

Powers

Gen-Factor: Exposure to the Gen-Factor had gifted as well as cursed Cash with several supernatural abilities both Mental and Physical at the same time, these powers have fluctuated in potency over the coarse of his life. Eventually burning out over the years and going into dormancy thanks to his Coda training. While it's mostly diminished the psychic abilities bestowed by his Gen-Factor retains some effectiveness in it's destructive ability, Cole can utilize his psionics by consciously reordering part of his psyche to turn them on and off again. But can normally only ever have access without the debilitating side effects while in range of another Team 7 Member. Since the universal reset where Cole had been revived, he could now utilize his full abilities without any assistance or harmful effects.

Psionics

Telepathy

Sensory Scrying

Mind Control

Mind Scans

Illusion Casting

Telepathic Assault

Telekinesis

Force Field

Energy Projection

Flight

Regeneration: Cole also has access to a helpful yet extremely unstable ability to heal and recover damaged bodily tissue structure at phenomenal rates. But it's not very reliable despite it's potency, the effectiveness of which varies wildly between uses. Able to heal broken neck almost instantly after receiving it, to waiting months on end for healing two shattered legs, albeit without so much as a scratch or any scar tissue afterward.

Longevity: Cole has lived for three decades yet still maintains the appearance as well as vitality of a young man still in his prime.

Abilities

Peak Human Condition

Peak Human Strength

Peak Human Speed

Peak Human Agility

Peak Human Stamina

Peak Human Coordination

Peak Human Reflexes

Peak Human Durability

Peak Human Balance

Indomitable Will

Deception

Thievery

Surveillance

Acting

Espionage

Stealth

Disguise

Master Tactician

Survival

Military Protocol

Driving

Vehicle Combat

Master Marksman

Throwing

Master Combatant

Weaponry

Swordsmanship

Demolitions

Multilingualism: Shown to be fluent in Vietnamese.

Weaknesses

The Rush: The side effects of using this power however are terrible to say the least. It was nicknamed The Rush due to the effect that the use of it is likened unto a drug. Raw, telekinetic, energy twisting and wielding power that if left unchecked can ravage the mind and body of the wielder, driving him to insanity.

Uncontrolled Psionics: The downside to these powers was that they were nearly impossible to control, sometimes being largely unreliable when needed most.

Physical Strain: Using the powers also put a terrible strain on Cash; trying to keep them under control would often cause blood vessels to rupture and he would weaken.

Affect Mind: Prolonged use would threaten his sanity and outside forces. But his Coda training under former matriarch of which, Zealot; helped him repress this aspect greatly.

Weak Healing Factor: Cole's healing ability tends to fluctuate often despite it's impressive capacity. The more severe the damage done to him, the longer it takes for him to recover, more expediently lethal injury increases the likelihood of fatality.

Equipment

Tunic: Grifter's face wear was specially designed by S.H.I.E.L.D. tech specialists using their state of the art engineering. On top of being made of a Kevlar fiber linen, it's also doubles as a gas mask which filtrates airborne toxins. The featureless lenses serve duel purposes of octagonal telescopic/microscopic visual receptor and analyzer coupled with infrared night vision locator.

Trench Coat: Cole's trademark long jacket comprises of the same artillery resistant material as his face mask. Serving him well both in a fashionable and practical sense, beyond it's natural application. It also withholds a great many pocket stores and holding straps with which to house and withhold a great many munitions on his person. Armaments such as explosive charges, throwing knives, stilettos, acupressure needles and small firearms.

VAD PP30: Grifter uses a VAD PP30, a semi-automatic particle pulse handgun custom made by Vulcan Arms Division for his use only. It fires 44mm explosive pulse packs, and by adjusting the Catalytic Particle Converter, Grifter can change the range of the firepower so it may be a simple stun, or an armor-piercing blast.

Little Magnum: Hidden micro blaster concealed within his glove, single shots pack enough kick behind the chamber to blast holes though an full grown humanoid target.

Various High-Tech Munitions: In his time as a special forces operative as well as one of Jacob Marlowe's covert operatives. Grifter has stocked up on and/or engineered a great many kinds of lethal ordinance for use while in the field. Often carrying around high-caliber fusil's, combustibles and hidden utilities which are a mix of Kherubim and Earth based xenotechnological engineering.

Origins

There are various accounts of Cole's early youth: his father died while he was still young and Cole and his brother Max were raised by their mother and stepfather, with his mother dying when Cole was already an adult. However, his mother died while he was still young and he and his brother were raised by their father. It is certain though, that Cole left his family while still a teenager and turned to crime to survive. Despite being a criminal, Cole had his own code of honor and stopped one of his partners in crime from shooting at the police. Cole was arrested and offered a second chance. He was enlisted by International Operations and turned out to be a gifted marksman and an excellent soldier.

Team-7

Cole Cash's natural talent for combat landed him in black ops, taking the dirtiest jobs as part of a squad known as Team 7. Cash's codename during these operations was Deadeye. The group was deliberately exposed to an experimental chemical called the Gen Factor, which activated a variety of psi powers in them, but which also detrimentally affected their sense of morality and mental health. After the experiment the survivors were classified as Gen 12. Some of their teammates went mad or committed suicide. Cole suspects that in fact their own superiors, I.O., were behind the experiment, while their superiors claimed that it was an unknown chemical weapon. One of the many missions Team 7 performed was destroying the dictatorship of a small African country. Andrew Johnson, one of the members, goes mad and glories in his ability to make people commit suicide. Disgusted, Cole kills Johnson. Cole grew more and more disgruntled with I.O.'s manipulations and secrecy and rebelled against team-leader John Lynch. Cash took charge and united the team's mental powers against a nuclear weapon that I.O. team-leader Miles Craven fired at Team 7 as a test. Team 7 went into hiding, but was eventually forced to return to I.O.

Coda

When the powers of many of Team 7's members started to wane, Craven became interested in their children, the Gen 13, who should have inherited their fathers' powers. Most of the team went into hiding again, while others stayed with I.O. The team finally fell apart and Cole came to work as an assassin for I.O., but he soon became disenchanted with them too. He went freelance, and it was during this period of his life he encountered the ancient Kherubim warrior Zealot. They fell in love, and she took the unprecedented measure of teaching him, a male, the ways of the Coda, the warrior order she had once belonged to. Her Coda-teachings stabilized Cole's sanity and locked away what remained of his psionic powers.

WildC.A.T.s

Some time later Cole and Zealot broke up; for Zealot it was just another relationship, but Cole had become devoted to her, being eternally grateful to her for restoring his sanity. However they remained on good terms, and both were recruited to become part of Lord Emp's Daemonite hunting team, the WildC.A.T.s. Grifter would later quit the team when they had to ally with Hightower, a Daemonite who had killed Grifter's friend Lonely. He rejoined when the team came back from Khera, even being the team's leader for some time. During this time Max Cash, his younger brother, was killed, came back as a zombie and was killed again by Grifter himself. He left the team again after Zealot's apparent death. At this point most of his teammates left as well and the WildC.A.T.s were disbanded.

Wildcats

Months later, Cole joined the Wildcats, a small group that included Lord Emp, Spartan and the French weapons dealer known as Noir. After Emp's ascension, Grifter sank into a depression; he began drinking and having one-night stands with women who reminded him of Zealot. Finally Zealot herself returned, but at the time Grifter was too drunk to recognize her. After a night of sex, Zealot left him before Grifter realized who she was. He caught up with her again while she was fighting the Coda. Zealot told him that the Coda had betrayed her teachings and she had sworn to wipe them all out. She added that she would spare Grifter, despite being Coda-trained, because of their history. After this meeting, Grifter straightened out his life and joined Jack Marlowe's Halo Corporation.

During this time Cole was mind-controlled by the villain Tao into shooting his former teammate and current I.O. director, John Lynch, leaving him in a coma. Tao then erased Cole's memories of these events.

Halo Corporation

During a mission for Jack Marlowe, Cole's legs were shattered by Agent Orange. Therefore he could no longer operate as Marlowe's field agent. He trained accountant Edwin Dolby to take his place. Dolby turned out to be unsuitable for the violent life that Grifter planned for him and resigned from Halo. After Marlowe apologized to him, he rejoined, but strictly as an accountant. Grifter remodeled the robotic body of former teammate Ladytron as a remote-controlled body for himself.

Several months later, Grifter's legs were healed, a side-effect of the dormant Gen-factor according to I.O. scientists. John Lynch, who had woken from his coma, restored Cole's memory. Cole was sent to take down Tao and working together with double-agent Holden Carver, Tao's organization was completely dismantled and Tao was imprisoned.

Since then he has joined a make-shift team of former Wildcats to take down the assassin Nemesis.

Worldstorm

When Jack Marlowe died Cole has taken control of Halo Corporation and all its assets. Being depress of Spartan's death, Cole has been in South America fighting Daemonites for a month.

He later arrived back in New York just in time to witness Captain Atom's arrival and subsequent battle with Majestic. Cash recognized an energy signature in Captain Atom that he'd previously only seen in his deceased teammates Void and Spartan. After consulting with Jeremy Stone, Cole was acknowledged that the Void's energy splinted into both of Captain Atom and Nikola Hanssen.

Cole later regrouped the former Wildcats to capture Captain Atom while he face a fearful Nikola. Cole tried to convince Nikola to accept who she is as a metahuman as she, like any other normal people, was deeply afraid of metahumans. When Captain Atom defeated the Wildcats in Washington, D.C., both Cole and Nikola arrive at the scene in which Cole convinced Nikola to use the Void's power of teleportation. From there Cole was about to combat Atom but witness him being teleported away by the Authority via a shift-door.

While regrouped with the Wildcats, they were confronted by Mister Majestic who then gravelly informed them that killing Captain Atom would caused the destruction of their universe leaving Cole all the more frustrated of the situation and focus more on Nikola's power of the Void. Cole eventually helped Captain Atom in fending off the Authority from killing the misplaced hero, who they believe that killing Atom would save their universe, and was subsequently killed by Apollo and Midnighter: Midnighter buried two throwing stars in Cash's spine, then Apollo incinerated his head.

After Nikola harnessed her powers and remade the universe, Cole and along of many past deceased people such as Deathblow came back, but with no memories of the events with Nikola, Captain Atom, and the reboot of the universe.

Post-Worldstorm

In the wake of the reboot, Cole is shown to be a man who has attempted to change himself, but keeps getting sucked back in to the hero lifestyle. He appears to be an employee of Hadrian as a core member of the new WildCats team that he is assembling.

Cole Cash briefly worked as an assassin for the US government, targeting Islamist terror networks. His latest assignment went awry when his target turned out to be an alien shape-shifter who was being hunted by others of the same race. Zee, as he/she calls itself, has now drawn Grifter and Midnighter into an interstellar conflict involving weaponized giant worms.

World's End

Grifter returned to the Wildcats after Armageddon, helping survivors in Los Angeles. He was later summoned by John Lynch and regrouped with Team-7 where he and his teammates learned of Tao's nihilistic threat. After the Halo Building in Los Angeles was destroyed, Grifter had himself and the Wildcats teamed up with Team-7 in stopping Tao. Ultimately their battle ended with Grifter shooting Tao in the head at pointblank, thus relinquishing his powers from Void, Max Faraday, and Providence.

Grifter was among the many heroes that were notified of the Authority's Carrier's leaving, in which Grifter was among the few heroes to leave Earth when he was ordering the panic refugees who were boarding the shift-ship. Grifter and along with his old comrade Deathblow officially joined the "new" Authority and together helped in establishing order among the Carrier's influx of refugees. During the journey Cole entered into a sexual relationship with Stormwatch member, Flint.

Cole's journey with the Authority led them to discovering a genocidal alien race known as the Karibna and helped in destroying them, and thereafter returning to Earth.

Fun Facts

Grifter's real name, Cole Cash, bears resemblance to the phrase "Cold Hard Cash". Cash is associated with a 'grifter'-defined as a swindler, dishonest gambler, or the like.

Cole Cash has called Michael Cray his best friend.

Grifter admitted he was agnostic when he went back in time to Rome and was thrown with the Christians to be attacked by lions in the Coliseum.

Grifter's original mask is not only used to conceal his identity but also has the ability to filter out any noxious gases he may come in contact with.

#grifter #cole cash #deadeye #The Authority #wildc.a.t.s #wildcats #team-7 #team 7 #team7 #international operations #dc #dc comics #thedcdunce

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brittanyyoungblog · 6 years ago

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30+ Funny Tinder Bios That Will Crack You Up

When writing a bio on Tinder, there are many ways to catch somebody’s attention, but being funny is of the best among them. Marilyn Monroe said, “If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.” I think that line goes for most people.

While Tinder is full of unfunny and unoriginal bios left and right, there are still quite a few gems. Here’s a list of over 30 funny tinder bios that will inspire you to spruce up your own profile.

I like my men like I like my coffee, ground up and in the freezer.

I like sticking my hands in towels. And I like smelling books.

I’m looking for a guy who is really trusting and healthy! You must have both kidneys, non smoker, and not be a big drinker or take any drugs that could damage the liver…Type O negative blood a plus! ESFP

Shit, I’d date me.

I feel as out of place on tinder as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

I take hot showers because I like practicing burning in hell.

I don’t have Ebola.

My ideal date? I pick you up in my car, and there’s candles gently licking the air on the dashboard ‘Rich, there’s candles on the dashboard’, I smile. ‘Yeah, I know.’ We take a drive, go to a restaurant, have a wonderful meal and talk about life, goals, and ideals. As we leave, you notice my car is ablaze. ‘Rich, your car is on fire!’. ‘It’s okay – it’s not mine’ – at which point I pull out marshmallows. We cook them & eat them. Then I kiss you passionately. In front of the burning car.

Let’s be honest I’m on Tinder and my first picture is of me in a bikini, I’m not looking for a relationship or a friend.

All men are pigs and I’m in the mood for bacon.

I do stuff, I also do things.

Roses are red, bacon is red. Poems are hard. Bacon.

Hello Ladies, Look at the last guy you matched, now back to me, now back to the last guy you matched, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped leaving his bio blank, and had better pictures, he could be like me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on Tinder with the man of your dreams. What’s in your hand, back to me. I have it. It’s a pizza with your favourite toppings on it. Look again, the Pizza is now your favourite dog. Anything’s possible when you match me on Tinder.

I’m the kinda guy you can take home to meet your mom. She’ll think I’m super funny, and charming..and cute, but actually kind of sexy at the same time? She falls in love with me. I..think I feel the same way. We get married. I’m your dad now. I confront you, ‘young lady why are you on Tinder?’ You are now grounded.

Grandfather seeking companion for granddaughter. She suffers from poor choices.

Went to a party dressed as an egg, and got with a guy who was dressed as a chicken. A life long question was answered that night. It was the chicken…

Runner up for Time’s ‘Sexiest IT Man Alive’. Once rescued a fireman and a puppy from a burning building. And after mastering French, I became an international super spy. Right now, I’m sailing across the Pacific, stealing top-secret information, and sipping Moscow Mules…shaken, not stirred. Okay, okay. Perhaps I exaggerated *just* a tad. But I can fix your laptop, and puppies love me. Message me for more straight talk, and I’ll send you FB links, delicious cocktail recipes, and MUCH more.”

Threesome? No thanks…if I want to disappoint two people in the same room, I’d have dinner with my parents.

I accidentally (purposely) changed my name to Jeb Bush on Facebook in a 2AM burst of inspiration, not realizing you can’t change it for 60 days, so if that doesn’t tell you enough about me as a person then I don’t know what to tell you

I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.

Two reasons to date me:

Because you’d be the good looking one

Please

My brother once put me through a Christmas tree wrapping machine then my parents put me in the boot for the ride home.

Professional Eugoogoolizer at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

Aye wassup, I’m Clint, I like to take girls out for a massive plate of barbecue ribs on a first date. I judge them according to how many and how aggressively they consume them. Whoever defeats me in this porcine endeavor shall become my warrior bride. My Boudicca. I’ll set nations ablaze at her feet just to watch the flames dance in her eyes. Our love will be beautiful in its violence as a tempest hits the Bering Strait, and should it die; it dies as it began with a mount of bones between us.

I hope you like alpha males because I’m your guy. That’s right, I’m the whole package. I’ll defend your honor in public, won’t take shit from waiters, and I’ll even get you pregnant, leave, and then come back to eat the child.

I’m the kinda girl you can take home to your family. I will then get closer to them than you are and we’ll slowly phase you out.

I’m on tinder to make friends the same way I’m on Pornhub to see the plumber repair the sink.

I like long walks on the beach with my girlfriend, until the LSD wears off and I realize I’m just dragging a stolen mannequin around a Wendy’s parking lot.

Don’t swipe right, just on here to catch my lying boyfriend.

Hey honey! If you’re seeing this its over youre caught. Oh another thing that girl Brittney youre seeing sunday at 7pm in charlottesville to catch a movie. She has showed me everything. Were besties now bye loser!

I’m look for a girl who is super mean. She also has to be really clingy and jealous. I prefer women who talk a lot about their ex and a love for da bootyliciousness. In my free time I like to take off my shirt and take selfies. I’m super in shape thanks to my strict diet of Mountain Dew and twizzlers. We’re a twizzler family, red vines have no place in my home. I work nights fighting crime. I’m not saying I’m Batman, but I am saying no one has seen the Riddler in Austin Texas.

Carolina V 2.0 Tinder Edition Updates -minor bug fixes -improved selection algorithm -new pictures (bikini pic added) -performance enhancements: summer tan -multilingual support

Actually several thousand years old idk why it says 21 lol Downside: I’ve only been nailed once Upside: I would die for you, so you know I’m committed… Also my dad is a pretty big deal. He always beats me in dreidel Swipe right if you need some Jesus in you.

I’m on here because I’m trying to date your dad.

The post 30+ Funny Tinder Bios That Will Crack You Up appeared first on The Date Mix.

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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

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How to Spot out Relationship Perils in a Digital World

The digital world has opened our lives up in many ways. Social connections can be made at a click of a button so it’s become a fast and easy place to meet people. This ease means you can reach millions of people, interact and have conversations as well as the control to respond or ignore anyone you want, which can be much harder in the real world. Building multiple relationships at once becomes the norm online with those people living in any corner of the world.

But what’s the downside to all of this? The problem is that, with the ease of building relationships with others, comes the greater the risk of being scammed. According to the Internet Complaint Centre, a whopping $173 million was lost by people scammed by romantic fraudsters just in California alone.[1]

If the digital world is a great place to build new connections and enhance our lives, why do more and more people fall for these scams online than they probably would in the real world?

How Our Minds Work: The Truth Bias

For our social, career and even governmental relationships to work, a certain amount of trust has to be in place. This is because questioning people’s veracity at every turn doesn’t create harmonious relationships. In other words, it’s become a social default to ignore inconsistencies because we want to trust that what we hear, see and read is the truth. This is known as the truth bias.

And while the truth bias is essentially a peaceful and amicable way to go about the world, unfortunately it provides the average liar with an advantage.

Online presence takes away real life verbal and physical clues that face-to-face communication provides which is one way to fall for a liar’s words. But many people often dismiss discrepancies in order to avoid upfront questioning and would prefer to believe they are speaking to a truthful person.

The internet essentially acts as a mask making it hard to really know who we’re exchanging words with. In the real world, we can get a feel for a person’s energy or body language which helps create a fuller picture. But behind a screen, we are reliant on unpracticed techniques to figure a person out and our brains haven’t been able to build up enough data in order to spot a friend or foe without these physical interactions.

Why the Internet Isn’t What It Seems

Most people have put their stamp on the internet in the form of a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or dating profile and almost everyone is guilty of filtering, photoshopping or adjusting their pictures in some way. In most cases it’s harmless. We often exaggerate our hobbies and interests in order to make ourselves appear better to others. Again this can be a subconscious thing and quite innocent because we all want to build a unique and interesting image in order to attract people.

However, we all know there are people out there that bend the truth when it comes to their profiles which can be hard to spot. Their life seems almost perfect with their top education, multilingual skills and high-earning job. Can this really be true? How can you trust that it’s a genuine person?

How to Spot out Relationships Perils

Building relationships online is a great way of meeting new people and most of the time it’s not all bad. Being cautious, however, is a must because you don’t have these instinctive verbal or physical clues that you’d normally work from.

Having the skills to decode a person’s personality, sincerity and veracity on the other side of a screen is down to getting a feel for the person and making educated guesses.

Educated guesses is an open-minded yet cautious way to go about getting to know someone you may not see in person. If you find yourself building a relationship online:

Make a few guesses first. From what you see, try to find both positive and negative sides to them. This will help keep a balanced view without the truth bias kicking in straight away. Look at the overall person, not just what they tell you or what another person tells you about them.

Do an internet search on them. This may appear like stalking but it’s helpful to make sure their different profiles show consistency across the board. This includes consistency of information as well as personality in terms of what they share or how they interact.

Look for evidence that all information aligns. Look back on your initial guesses about the person and see if they match up (or don’t match up) with any of the information you’ve gathered. After weighing it out, you should be able to see if the evidence supports one guess over the other.

When assessing someone online, you need to be logical instead of relying on instinct which serves us best when we see someone face-to-face. Having a more logical approach will negate the tendency to allow the truth bias to override and therefore reduce the vulnerability of being deceived.

Next time you meet someone online, take a step back and allow yourself to be cautious. While it’s good to trust others, be aware of the truth bias we all tend to use when interacting with others and make sure you don’t make yourself vulnerable to the scammers.

Reference

[1]^Sheriff McDonnell and Cyber Investigators: Love Hurts: A Forum and Discussion on Online Dating Safety

The post How to Spot out Relationship Perils in a Digital World appeared first on Lifehack.

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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

Text

How to Spot out Relationship Perils in a Digital World

If the digital world is a great place to build new connections and enhance our lives, why do more and more people fall for these scams online than they probably would in the real world?

How Our Minds Work: The Truth Bias

And while the truth bias is essentially a peaceful and amicable way to go about the world, unfortunately it provides the average liar with an advantage.

Why the Internet Isn’t What It Seems

How to Spot out Relationships Perils

Having the skills to decode a person’s personality, sincerity and veracity on the other side of a screen is down to getting a feel for the person and making educated guesses.

Educated guesses is an open-minded yet cautious way to go about getting to know someone you may not see in person. If you find yourself building a relationship online:

Reference

[1]^Sheriff McDonnell and Cyber Investigators: Love Hurts: A Forum and Discussion on Online Dating Safety

The post How to Spot out Relationship Perils in a Digital World appeared first on Lifehack.

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2CfhN1k via Viral News HQ

#IFTTT #Viral News HQ

0 notes