#there are little THINGS floating down from the sky and they're COLD and PRETTY it's so silly

[sukunasweetheart]

Sukuna, a middle aged man jaded by the harsh realities of his life. He steps outside for a smoke nearby a convenience store, completely bored out of his mind.

A lady is handing out flyers nearby, although nobody is bothering to look her way, including sukuna himself.

You approach the man who's getting irritated by the lighter that refuses to work in his hand.

"Hello there, sir. Would you be interested in taking up classes for arts and craft?" You offer the cute flyer up.

Sukuna scoffs. Is she serious?

"No thanks."

"Are you sure? You look like you could use a bit more colour in your life."

He's too exhausted at this point to get angry at a random woman on the street.

"...You're not too far off, i suppose," sukuna mutters, still trying to get the spark to stay on his lighter. "Even so, I'm not interested in the likes of arts and craft. Do i look like a child to you?"

You withdraw your offer of your flyer, and inspect him for a moment.

"Arts and craft can be enjoyed by anyone, regardless of age. But moving past that... you seem a bit down. If you'd like to confide in a stranger for a night, I'm happy to listen."

What a strange, persistent woman. Sukuna gives up on his lighter, and takes out the unlit cigarette in his mouth to think back for a moment. One thing does come to mind.

"I'm not feeling down. But i remembered something, now that i think about it..." he confesses, feeling weirdly compelled to tell you about it.

"Today is supposed to be my birthday."

Birthdays have never been special to him. Nobody celebrated his birth as a child, and in turn, he's never paid attention to the birthdays of others.

"Oh, happy birthday. Are you doing anything special for yourself today?"

"No. I've never cared for birthdays. And I'm getting too old for that anyway."

"Well, that won't do... Hold on for a second."

Puzzled, sukuna looks back at you but you've already gone inside the convenience store. Whatever you're up to now, couldn't possibly be more enticing than getting in a proper smoke right now. Sukuna begins to zone out.

He only snaps out of it when something mildly cold grazes past his cheek, leaving a ticklish and moist sensation on his skin as it disappears upon impact.

Bubbles. Bubbles are flying past him, and floating away into the sky.

For a moment, he gets mesmerised by the swirl of colours that are harboured in each one. Even just from the light of this dingy street, they fly up while holding a multitude of different colours inside them. Time seems to slow for a split second, and he doesn't understand why.

His gaze follows the trail to identify it's source. And unsurprisingly, it's you, standing behind him. You blow a couple more out, and then grin at him childishly. He finally looks at your face properly for the first time.

"Birthday bubbles. For the birthday man," you chuckle sheepishly, knowing that you probably look a bit silly right now. You put the bubble wand back into the small bottle of the soapy mixture, and screw it tightly.

"Here, you can have it. Next time you're feeling a bit antsy, why don't you try blowing some yourself? They're pretty, aren't they?"

You also hand him a different small item.

"And i also threw in a little something else, while i was at it."

He looks down, and sees that it's a new lighter. He slowly pulls his hand out of his pocket to take both of them from your hands.

"I hope you get to do something more special next year. Birthdays are supposed to be joyful, after all," you comment.

"Thanks for putting up with my nosiness. Farewell."

And then you leave him after a quick wave.

Sukuna stares wordlessly as you walk off, wondering what to name this ticklish feeling rising in the pit of his stomach.

The small bottle in his palm reminds him of a moment in his childhood. Kids in the park bragging about their bubble wands that were gifted to them. the laughs that resounded as they all ran off to catch the fragile spheres as they blew away in the wind. The tiny feelings of envy in his heart.

The item he tucks away into his pocket is the lighter. And when nobody is watching, he blows a couple more bubbles into the night sky.

-

Every time he passes by that convenience store, the thought of you comes to his mind. A flashback of your smile in the back of his mind. Every so often, he comes to this particular store. Despite having closer options, he comes to this specific one.

At times, sukuna regrets not taking one of the flyers that you were handing out. He wouldn't have had to mope around a convenience store in hopes of running into you again.

Today is a rainy day, and this calls for a hot piping cup of instant ramen. He doesn't usually enjoy convenience store food, but he wants a reason to stay around inside for a bit longer.

He needs to wait five minutes for the noodles to soften. In this time, he stares out the glass frame of the store, and watches the various rows of people walking past with their umbrellas opened.

There appears to be one anomaly in the crowd, however. Running without shelter from the rain, clutching her bag as if it contains something important in there. Sukuna realises that it's you.

Forgetting about his instant ramen, sukuna grabs his umbrella and dashes out the door.

You're mildly panicking about being stuck behind the red light at the zebra crossing without anything to save you from the rain, but the sensation of the droplets hitting your body come to a stop all too suddenly.

You look up, and there's a black umbrella sheltering you, big and strong looking. You spin around and recognise the stranger with pink hair and sharp eyes. Seemingly out of breath.

He signals to the light that has now turned green behind you, and ushers you forward to cross the road before you can say anything to him.

Now safely on the other side of the road, you begin to converse with him.

"It's you! Hello. Thank you for sheltering me. How have you been?"

"... So-so. Nothing's changed since the last time we met."

"I see. You look better than last time, though." You get the feeling that his eyes have a little more light in them.

Sukuna doesn't really get what you mean, but he moves on.

"What’s in your bag that's so important for you to be protecting it like that?" He asks, effectively changing the topic.

"Oh, this? I literally just bought some brand new origami paper... i can't risk getting them wet and unusable. The children would be disappointed."

"Origami, huh? How original."

"Hey! That's not all... there's a lot of options i offer them. They voted on origami this time."

"You got a lot of people signed up?"

"Not really... but I'm sure it'll start picking up soon. Slowly, one at a time."

You smile up at him hopefully.

"...is the offer still open?"

You cock your head to the side slightly, confused. Sukuna grits his teeth, feeling a little bashful about having to ask more specifically.

"You know. Lessons for grown adults."

"Oh! Of course, anytime! Would you like to come sign up today?"

"Do you offer one-on-one sessions too?"

"Yes, I do."

"Alright. Let’s go."

Sukuna can't fathom the words that are coming out of his own mouth. But fuck it, what's the worst that could happen? You've somehow intriged him, and he can't think of a better way to approach you.

You chatter his ears off along the way, and he nods along while his shoulder gets wet from the way he leans his umbrella closer to your side.

[saviolum-sanguineus]

I wish it was two weeks ago... She wants to say it, wants it more than anything she's ever wanted in this shining mayfly brightness of youth.

sometimes memories aren't enough. sometimes they're too much.

“When do you need to be home by?”

"What?"

The party around them is too loud and Joel doesn't want to yell, so he leans in and cups a hand around his mouth—Esme's hair smells like roses and the cherry lipgloss it swiped from her mouth when she was dancing earlier—to repeat, "When do you need to be home by?"

Someone bumps into her as they pass, jostling her forward into Joel's automatically protective surprise; his chest is warm and muffles her muttered "ow" when her nose smacks into him. Esme looks up, eyes watering slightly (or maybe it's just the lights through whatever the people in the room down the hall are smoking), and tips her head towards the relative quiet of the backyard. Joel nods and she smiles when she tugs him by the hand into the cool open air.

“Technically eleven, but they know I'm with you. I don’t know what they think would happen anyway, Aplesnay is tiny, I couldn’t get into trouble if I went looking for it.” Esme isn't drunk, but being around Joel makes her feel like she is, dizzy and floating on the feeling of his hand in hers, smile buoyant on her lips like the little boats they make out of leaves and send downstream together in the woods.

Joel looks a little sceptical but grins back when she swings their intertwined hands back and forth to the music they can still hear thumping outside the house. "It's almost ten, and I'm pretty sure your parents don't like me that much."

Esme pulls a frowny kind of face that melts rapidly into a teasing smile as she leans into Joel. “They like you, they just don't like that I dyed my hair after we got together—and anyway, I like you very, very much, so all that means is that we’ll have to leave now.”

Joel looks bewildered. “Now? You don’t live an hour away.”

“Yeah, but you took the motorcycle here, Jojo. You think I’d miss a chance to make the most of a ride with Ryder?”

It’s a stupid joke, but Joel laughs anyway and it leaves Esme giddy, smiling adoringly at him when he pushes the visor of her helmet securely in place. The choke purrs loud as her heart as they ride off, black night breeze whipping past the column of light carved out by Joel’s headlight. He’s always warning her to hold on tight—a little needlessly, but it’s those little things that keep Esme’s arms wrapped so tight around him, body pressed to his so closely that the contour of where they touch is a kiss. It feels like flying.

Two minutes before eleven, Joel cuts the engine at the end of her block and walks Esme to the door, looking shyer with every step towards the geraniums on either side of it. She squeezes his hand and rises up on her tiptoes for a parting kiss: chaste, sweet, and comforting (even if she lingers a little).

“Goodnight,” Esme whispers just before the front door opens to reveal Yvette and Tobin behind her. "See you tomorrow?" Esme asks, eyes hopeful where her voice is cautiously casual.

“'Course,” Joel answers, smile as tender as the hand that gently pushes Esme’s hair behind her ear from where the helmet had squashed it awkwardly.

"Kay," Esme beams; Yvette clears her throat and Esme flushes a little before turning to go inside—she pauses to call over her shoulder, "Say hi to Mittens for me!" before disappearing into the house.

They go to the beach one summer day to soak up the sun and each other. The water is barely cold enough to justify Esme's excuse for insisting that she needs to snuggle up to Joel on the shore after they're done splashing about, but neither of them poke the façade. Sunset glitters on the water in a riot of gold and flushed sky. Esme drags her finger through the wet sand beside them, drawing out a heart big enough to fit both their hands in. Joel watches, smiling at the concentration on Esme's face, though there's a strange glimmer of nervousness in his eyes.

"Put your hand here," Esme instructs, tugging Joel's wrist so he presses his palm flat to one of the spaces inside. She lays her hand in the other, stroking the tip of her thumb over Joel's knuckles before she pushes her hand down into the empty half of the heart. "Heart handholding. Hearting."

Joel smiles and lifts his hand, shakes the sand off, and cups Esme's face, thumb brushing over the freckles that are starting to show under summer sun. They're barely visible, hidden little treasures he's found by virtue of knowing how to look tenderly enough to be let close. He traces a little heart over her cheek, connecting the faint freckles into an invisible constellation. "Heart headholding. Hearting."

The constellation crinkles up into a new spread of stars as Esme laughs. Joel's hand is still warm where it brackets her face, but he doesn't tip her head up to meet him—she does that herself, smiling as he lowers his head to kiss her softly, slow enough that it feels like she's melting like the shore under rolling waves.

When she opens her eyes, Joel is holding a little velvet-flocked box. The hope in his face is the colour of home and the way his eyes turn into dark honey under sunlight—the promise ring is gold with a dark red stone cut into the shape of a heart, and its slim band fits around her finger as neatly as her arms wrap around him.

"It's beautiful," Esme says, holding her hand up so the heart sparkles in the dying sun. Aplesnay is tiny and she already knows that she doesn't have enough fingers or toes to count the days Joel must have saved up for this. "I love it, Jojo." I love you.

She wants to say it, wants it more than anything she's ever wanted in this shining mayfly brightness of youth: the words taste so sweet shimmering on her tongue, but there's a clench of fear that keeps her voice down. She's not good enough for herself, nowhere near the perfect girls in the magazines or on TV, never sweet or smart or anything enough, not when you look close—how can she ever be enough for someone as perfect as Joel? She's just gotten unthinkably lucky so far—and Esme learned early not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Instead, she looks at Joel and hopes that he knows what's behind the giggle she can't stop from escaping her lips before she rolls onto him, holding his face between her hands and peppering kisses over his face like she can leave him a constellation to match hers. I love you. I love you. I love you.

"I love...you just make everything feel right. We're like my mom and dad," she says later, when they're watching the last of the day spill over the ocean. "Y'know?"

Joel turns and looks at her, fingers finding hers and squeezing gently. "Yeah," he murmurs, and his eyes sparkle before he kisses her. And they keep sparkling even as night cools the beach and paints their shadows long and blue along the sand.

His room is always neat, welcoming in the way of a simple memory and well-worn, familiar touch. Esme stares at the framed verse on Joel's nightstand and fidgets with the promise ring on her finger. Corinthians 16:14, Let all that you do be done in love.

She should have known that he'd see through her attempts to smile. Joel's concern cuts deep, salt rubbed in raw by the gentle touch of his hand on her shoulder, embrace too tender for the knives her voice has unsheathe from her throat. Esme would kill someone for calling her meek, but that's exactly what her voice rolls into, pricked by brambles, when she says slowly, "You know how I applied to school in the city? I, um...I got in."

"That's great!" he says, and it feels like she's being torn apart by the earnestness holding Joel's voice together. "Congratulations, Essie—I know you worked really hard for this. I'm so proud of you and so happy for you."

She lets him hug her tight—hugs him back just as tightly—and hates herself for it. Joel cradles the back of Esme's head, callused fingers unbearably tender, and Esme knows that if she believed in hell, this would be the moment that would sentence her soul there. The killing sentences she'd prepared herself to deliver slide back down like bile.

Esme can't look at him when he kisses her goodbye one last time at the door. She'll always wish she did.

"I can give you a ride," Joel offers—when Esme thinks back on it, she's never quite sure if she's imagined the note of desperation in his voice, and worse still is that she doesn't know if that would make it hurt more or less.

"That's okay," she says (let all that you do be done in love). "Thanks, Jojo."

At home, Esme types out what she'd meant to say in person (is it really love if she's so selfish? this kindness feels like cruelty no matter how much her head is spinning), deletes it, and retypes it five times before hitting send.

we shouldn't have to wait around for each other. sorry.

It has to be curt, with all the sharpness of how Esme tells—used to tell—the pretty people who like flirting with Jojo—Joel—Joseph to piss off into the next dimension's hell. She's got to sever her own heartstrings as well as his, after all. Esme cries herself to sleep and dreams of taking pictures at the beach and a drawing in the sand that the waves never manage to wash away.

Her parents drive her to the airport. Esme's flight is delayed and her fingertips touch bare skin when she goes to fidget with the garnet heart whose comfort is locked inside her carry-on. Even that feels like she doesn't deserve it.

On the plane, she taps out a message to the only person she hasn't said goodbye to and sits in a cycle of deleting and rewriting until takeoff. Her seat neighbor smiles sympathetically. "First time flying?"

Esme's never been on a plane before, but she shakes her head, remembers black nights and the way Joel's hair streaks gold under streetlamps in summer. "No. Just my first time leaving home."

"Ahh. Hey, chin up, don't let the nerves get to you. You'll do just fine!"

Classes are hard, the devil works harder, and Esme decides that for the amount of money draining into this school from her bank account, she's working smarter. She starts with streamlining her schedule (dance PE credit sparks more joy than queuing up for the campus gym and getting ogled on the elliptical anyway) and ends up going to office hours for Ethics in Business and Organisations thrice a week.

Taran (he freaks if you call him Mr. Etoni, as their entire discussion section found out on day one) starts recognising her on week two. The way he smiles like he's in on some joke you aren't isn't unique to just her, but it does make Esme hate the idea of asking him a stupid question, so she researches their homework, the textbook, and every paper she can find by the same authors before showing up.

The third day, Taran glances at her quizzically from across his desk. "You...these short answers are all right, Esme. You went into more detail than I was expecting—than any of the TAs would. You've been coming in a lot. Not just to see me, right?"

He laughs, and Esme's face burns as fiercely red as her hair—the brown dye faded fast under dorm water, clinging auburn at the ends of her hair like autumn leaves that refuse to fall just yet. "No, no, I—" she splutters (does she look like that kind of girl? is that what she is, without Joel? is that what she's always been?). She looks away sharply and her breath hitches when she sees the citation scrawled in Taran's distinct, long-stroked handwriting on the whiteboard calendar. Corinthians 16:14.

"Are you Catholic?" Her voice comes out more demand than she meant it to—not that she'd meant to ask at all, but now the words are out and Esme's spine is prickling with adrenaline she doesn't know how to explain.

Taran glances between her and the whiteboard a few times before answering, "Uh, yes? Raised that way, anyway. You too?" His smile is smooth, curiosity rippling through bright blue eyes.

Orientation introduced Esme to a lot of people and the delicate art of covering up shock with a sparkly smile (turns out she's a fast learner as to what kind of hot fresher takes are even worth engaging with). "No, it just reminded me of someone. That's his favourite verse."

Taran's eyebrows lift and he nods. "Nice. Pretty romantic—your boyfriend?"

Esme's smile falters and she looks down at her hands: bare and a little cold from the aggressive AC in the building. "Oh, um, no. I don't—I don't have a boyfriend."

"Well, in that case, what are you doing this weekend?"

The world seems to go very still and very silent for a split second. The place where Esme's little red heart used to sit aches and she folds the fingers of her other hand over the wound. She'd told him herself not to wait. Unfair to him and to everything they'd had, to lament how she'd ruined it like this. Let all that you do be done in love. Esme wishes she'd had the courage to say it sooner, that day at the beach.

Taran looks a little concerned at how long it's taking her to respond. Esme swallows and looks up at him—his eyes like the ocean, washing over her like some kind of baptism. The salt won't sting if she just swims a little deeper. Taran isn't perfect—she's not expecting him to be. But he's already the opposite of Joel, and maybe that's what will help.

"Um, whatever you want to do, I guess!"

[twilightdomain]

this is my first winter living somewhere that snows and i get it now. who is going to kiss me about it

[softlilacmoonlight]

Royals x Reader - I Believe I Can Fly~

(Y/N) pov:

        "So, (Y/N) I was wondering..." began Lord Diavolo before I started floating. 

        Maybe you're wondering why I just said I'm floating... because I literally started to float up and out of my chair while drinking tea and chatting with Lord Diavolo and Barbatos. So while I'm on the ceiling, I have two worried demons looking up at me from the floor. They're both looking at me like this is hilarious and in all honesty, I might smack Diavolo when I make it to the floor. 

        The simple motion of crossing my arms causes me to start spinning in circles with the motion. "This might be funny to you two, but humans aren't made to twirl and fly in the air without a couple of things present. For starters an airplane, parachute, bungee cord, or a rollercoaster to put it lightly. These ceilings aren't particularly low and close to the floor either so please get me down!?"

        "Alright!" laughs Dia with his boisterous man-child laughter. "Hold still for literally five seconds."

        Great, I'm upside down now. "I can't necessarily stop myself Diavolo."

        True to his word, Diavolo closes the distance in a mere couple of seconds and, maybe not so gracefully, brings me back down to the floor and sits me in my chair. That is I was in my chair till he let go of me and I started to float again. Barbatos and Diavolo exchange a little look before Barbatos snaps his finger and his binding chains appear.

        "Barb... isn't that, hehe, a little uhm... extreme?" I stammer out of nervousness. I've seen those things in action against a demon before, aka Belphie.

        Instead, Barbatos focuses as he takes over and holds me down from Dia. Slowly the chains fashion around my feet into these really cool, and heavy, heels. (Fun Fact about your author: The actress who wore the heels in the movie is named Ella and my name is Ella :)) Slowly, Barbatos lets me go and this time only the upper half of my body tried to float away, but the shoes anchor me to the ground. Barbatos quickly makes a magical harness to help me stay rooted while Dia tries to figure out what had happened to cause me to start to fly away like I was sprinkled in pixie dust and had the imagination of Peter Pan.

        Ends up, Solomon somehow magically destroyed my center of gravity... FROM PURGATORY HALL! Ugh. "Dia, help me fly. I want to see what it's like." I state, cornering the demon unexpectedly. 

        "(Y/N), I'm not a huge fan of you floating into the atmosphere." states Diavolo uncertain.

        Using my puppy dog eyes, I look him in the eyes. "PWEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEE?!"

        And that is how we ended up with me flying through the night sky, Barbatos riding harnessed to Dia's back. Diavolo holds my hand as he maneuvers me in circles and loops through the night sky. I never knew that the clouds could be so cold, and as the air whips through my hair, Dia slows pulling and anchoring me into one location in the sky. The moon shining behind us and Barbatos on his back like a toddler. 

        "(Y/N)," he whispers, "I love you."

        "As do I," states Barbatos, warmly smiling at me. 

        I smile to the two demons who make me feel so safe and loved. "I love you too. Both of you."

        And we flew into the night sky together (to beat up Solomon)... THE END. 

So this was a request. It was asked for a Diavolo and Barbatos fluff. I'm sorry this is so behind! The Q&A gave me something already prompted that I could work on, and I've been babysitting from last Thursday to this Sunday, so I had my hands pretty full. It's short, but I thought it was still sweet. I hope you all like it! Thanks for the request!

[verbosebabbler]

ZampanioSim East Memories

So I think I found the memories from ZampanioSim East. I say think, because I didn’t get these from the code directly in ZampanioSim East but from.. elsewhere. Each of the themes have an associated list of objects and descriptions. The list is long, so it is below the cut.

ADDICTION Addiction Object: A difficult subject. Beer: Probably shouldn't. More Wine: Best not to. Teapot: Caffeine is bad for you. Web Wine: Its a good thing this wine looks so gross. Web Wine2: you really don't want to touch it. Wine Shelves: You're not tempted by these.

ANGELS Angel Object: Do you hear the tintinnabulation? Angel Statue: The angels bless you. Ice Glacier: It feels holy. Jars: Jars of holy water. Obelisk: It lists out the praises of the gods. Writing Tablet: The words of your gods are written here.

ANGER Anger Object: Seems to have been pushed into the floor pretty hard…

APOCALYPSE Apocalypse Object: This doll house scale ruined building would be cute if it weren't for the smell emanating from it… Fossil1: As death is a natural and inevitable part of life, extinction is the natural fate of all worlds. Fossil2: There are entire species consisting solely of the dead. Fossil3: For ever species we know have vanished, how many thousands extinguished without a sound? Fossil4: As Death comes to all beings, Extinction comes to all species. Fossil5: How impossibly lucky is this creature, for their bones to survive epochs? Fossil6: To fear Extinction is to fear inevitability. Fossil7: What entire ecosystems lived and died before you took your first breath? Science: Just enough knowledge to destroy it all. Web Books: How long will the works of man outlast us?

BUGS Bees: The Swarm is judging you. Bees2: Your skin crawls just looking at these buzzing insects Bees3: Incessant buzzing. Bees4: The bees are bussing and crawling and flying everywhere. Ruined honey: Someone has raided this bee hive Ruined wasp nest: Who destroyed this wasp nest? Wasp: It seems to be a large statue of a wasp. Wasp Nest1: There is a wasp nest here. It is filled with holes Wasp Nest2: There is a wasp nest here Wasp Nest3: If you let the inhabitants of this waspnest love you, you could be a nest, too.

BURIED Buried Object: X Marks the Spot. Grave: You hear faint scratching from underneath. Grave: You could sleep under here forever buried. Pickax: With this you could dig and dig and dig deep into the earth until no one could ever save you. Pit: The warm embrace of the earth awaits. Why must you cling so to the cold, unforgiving sky? Pit2: Down and down it goes. You want to jump in. Shovel: DIG Well: It goes so deep into the earth. You cannot see the bottom. The concept of a bottom is anathema to this well.

CHOICES Choice Object: Signs like this tend to be more useful when labeled…

CLOWNS Balloon1: How whimsical. Balloon2: It feels like it might pop at any moment. Balloon3: You wonder how they float. Balloon4: Surely someone must have filled these within the past day or two if they're still floating, right? Balloon5: A sign of life. Clown Object: Honk honk! +u+ Gift: When you go to open it it explodes into confetti. Jack in a Box Closed: It's hilarious how much anxiety the anticipation of a closed jack in the box causes. Jack in a Box Open: Sourceless laughter peels out across the room as you jump in surprise when the jack springs out. Jewelry Box: Clown jewels. Toybox: Laughter rings out anytime you touch this box.

CRAFTING Armor: You appreciate the craftsmanship here. Armor2: You frown as you study the flaws of this piece of armor. Armor3: A master made this armor, you can tell. Crafting Object: Just a little bit of tape… Hammer: The heft of this hammer is just perfect for forging. Metal Ingots: Fresh ingots ripe for being turned into more useful materials. Pickax: You feel the strange urge to craft some mines. Shovel: You just want to turn the soil with your hands and MAKE something with it. Stump with Ax: You feel a distinct urge to go chop some trees. Well: Enough water to cool a thousand forges.

DEATH Angel Statue: In your bones you know no beautific afterlife awaits. Chess Set: Do you dare cheat death? Corpse Blossom: It reeks of death. Bone Pile: Death is the great equalizer. Dead Bush: A reminder that death comes to us all. Dead Tree: You wonder what killed it before you remember it doesn't matter. Decaying Barrel1: Even the works of man eventually die. Death Object: This status of Death seems uninterested in your plight. Grave: This is not your fate. But no one is beyond Death. Grave: It simply says 'everyone' on it. Grave: It is yours. Grave: It's inscription is too worn with age to read. Grave: Somehow you know it has the name of your best friend. Grave: If you had a family, they would be listed here, you're sure of it. Grave: It has your name on it. Hospital Bed: Someone died here. Skeleton1: Meat is meat. Skeleton2: Memento mori. Skeletons: At least they died together. Skull: It was inevitable they would die. Skull3: Meat is meat. Violent Bed: Most people die in beds.

DECAY Corpse Blossom: It stinks of death and decay Dead bush: The bush is rotting Dead tree: What did this look like when it was alive, you wonder. Decay is an extant form of life: In your heart you know decay is an extant form of life Decay Object: I wonder if they're poisonous. Decayed web box: This rotten box can't be used to hold anything anymore. Decaying Barrel: The barrel stinks of fermentation and rot. Grave: You wonder who is buried and rotting here. Hydration Station: You go to take a sip of the water before realizing it's filled with maggots. Shitty cot: The cot stinks of rot. Web Shelves: These shelves haven't been able to hold anything for a long time. Web Table: What could be trapped in here, you wonder? Web Table2: You peer into its cracks but see nothing inside.

DOLLS Angel Statue: Her eyes seem to watch you. Armor: Did it just move when you weren't looking? Balloon1: There's little people inside, waving at you. Bear: Every time you look away it seems to be in a different pose. Chess Set: It looks like a fun game. Doll: Scrawled on her face is 'will you be my mother?' Doll: She is watching you. Doll: Someone must miss her terribly. Dollhouse: The dolls inside are all missing. Dolls Object: This Doll Recites: Dress: A dress in need of a doll. Gumball Machine: Delicious sweets. Hobby Horse: Its eyes seem alive, and in pain. Jack in a Box Closed: You hear something moving inside. Jack in a Box Open: You feel something touching your leg, but when you look down i's just this Jack In a Box. JR Doll: There's something cathartic in having power over old JR. Princess Bed: And adorable bed you just want to cover with stuffed animals and dolls. Scarecrow: You're suddenly certain it is just choosing not to move. Scarecrow2: It waits. Snowman: You know its heart yearns to look more human. What would it have to steal to get there. Teach us the Insides: Screams are coming from inside. Teapot: If only you had some toys, you could host a little teaparty. Toy Army: Oh. Toy Drummer Boy: Any time you look away you hear a single beat of his drum. Toy Regiment: Each time you look away they are a single step closer. Toy Shelves: So many toys, it almost makes you wish you could be nostalgic. Toy Soldier Large: He seems to be made of wax. His eyes are wrong, though. Toy Soldier Small: It's okay. You'll be his friend. Toy Train: Choo choo! Jaimie would be proud. Toybox: All sorts of fun to be had in here.

ENDINGS Ending Object: The End Endings Object: Stop. Please. Guidepost: All ways lead to dead ends. Grave: The End. Lamp Post: Why are lampopsts so often signifiers of endings? Skeleton1: There is a serenity in knowing how the story ends. Skeletons: Did they know their ends would be so similar? Skull: The path differes, but the end is always the same. Skull3: We all end the same. Web Books: All the pages are torn out save the last. Web Books: Every book within is blank, save the last page. Writing Tablet: It lists out the last thought you and everyone you ever met will ever have.

FAMILY: Family Object: Family Tree Pruned.

FLESH Butchered Meat: In the end we are nothing more than meat. Chopping Block: It's incredible what a good quality butcher's knife can do to meat. Cooking Pot: Something savory and meaty wafts out. Fish Crate: Your flesh isn't fundamentally different than the flesh of these fish. Flesh Object2: It pulsates gently. Flesh Object: The beefy arm is waving at you in between flexing. Ham: Meat is meat. Meat Chops: This doesn't look quite like pork. Somehow, that unsettles you. Meat Chops: They are grown from your own cells, you can feel this in your bones. Meat Grinder: You slowly feed your right arm into it and watch the ribbons of flesh pour out the other end. Meat Slabs: Meat is me. Skeleton1: You think you could make a pretty decent bone broth from this. Skeleton2: In the end we are all just meat hanging off bones. Turkey: It smells delicious. It was alive once, as you are now. You'll smell delicious, too, one day.

FIRE Fire Object: Hmm Interesting…

FREEDOM Freedom Object: Have you seen the freedom object? It seems to have gotten out…

GUIDING Guiding Object: Do you ever wish somebody else would point the way for you?

HEALING Healing Object: It's important to know what your innards are doing.

KILLING Blood Fountain: You feel the inexplicable urge to bathe in this. Box o' Knives: You could really do some damage to someone with all these knives. Chopping Block: You almost wish you weren't alone in this maze, just so you could test this knife out. Knife: Knife goes in. Blood comes out. It's that simple. Pickax: You could really do some damage to someone's skull with this. Stump with Ax: You feel the inexplicable urge to write 'All Work And No Play Makes Johnny A Dull Boy' over and over again. Sword Anvil: A weapon has only one purpose: killing. Swords: You could kill a lot of people with these. Violent Bed: A fight happened here. Web Swords: There is clarity in killing. The why doesn't matter, only the how.

KNOWING Big Bookshelf: Everything you would need to perfectly navigate this maze is listed here, if only you could remember it. Big Bookshelf: The indentity of the Eye Killer is here, long past the point where you could use it. Books: Spoilers for all fiction is somehow contained in these few volumes. Books: The thoughts of everyone you've ever known are detailed here. Knowing Object: I know something you don't. Small bookshelf: The tomes list out the forgotten secrets of every civilization. Scrolls: Forbidden knowledge floods your mind and you can't Unknow it. Writing tablet: You need to know more. Writing tablet: The thoughts currently in your head are perfectly etched here.

LANGUAGE Big Book Shelf: Dozens upon dozens of books in every language. Big Book Shelf: All of the literary classics. Books: Language is used masterfully in these volumes of poetry. Books: Somehow each book claims you are the author. Obelisk: It's a rosetta stone for every language reading out 'Zampanio is a really good game. You should play it.' Small Bookshelf: It's all your favorite childhood books. Writing Tablet: A forgotten language is perfectly translated here for you.

LIGHT Lamp: It's soothing and bright. Lamp Post: It spreads its light over a vast area. It makes you feel safe. Light Object: How enlightening…

LONELY Lonely Figure: Alone…

LOVE Angel Statue: Love is war. Bear: It feels soft and cuddly Dress: Just looking at this pretty dress makes you wish you could remember going to dances. Flowers: A gift for a significant other. Love Object: Fragile Concept Necklace: Someone beautiful could wear this Jewelry Box: A cherished gift. Wine: Oh to be on a picnic with someone you love. Wine2: If only there was someone to share this with.

MAGIC Magic Object: Look Inward.

MATH Math Object: Don't you hate it when the beads break? Makes math so much harder.

OCEAN Barrel: Filled with salt pork for a long sea journey. Fish Crate: Fish freshly caught from the ocean. Hydration Station: The water looks refreshing, you almost didn't realize how thirsty you were. Hydration Station2: The water looks so cool and refreshing… Hydration Station3: Such a tiny bucket of water compared to the vast ocean…Ocean Object1: The fish gasps for breath. Ocean Object2: Why is the Baltic Sea Anomaly an Ocean Object? Don't ask me…

PLANTS Cabbages: These cabbages are well grown. Cactus: You don't think it can talk. You aren't sure why this disappoints you. Cactus2: The most tsundere of plants. Fern: For an instant, you think this might be some sort of…creature. But no. Just a fern. Flowers: Beautiful flowers. Pointless flowers. Grass: Surprisingly fertile soil produces this clump of grass. Pine Tree: You wonder how trees manage to grow inside this labyrinth. Plants Object2: What a terrible place to try and grow… Plants Object1: What a terrible place to try and grow… Shovel: Did someone leave it here after planting something? Tall Potted Plant: It seems healthy, though confined. Wild Flowers: These flowers grow with no human hand. Yellow Flowers: Weeds, but pretty ones.

ROYALTY Jewelry box: Crown jewels. Pile of Gold1: The wealth of a kingdom. Pile of Gold2: The wealth of an Empire. Princess Bed: A bed fit for royalty. Royal Object: Long Live The… The… Is dead. Small Pile of Gold: The taxes you are due. Throne: Your rightful place.

SCIENCE Jars: Specimen jars. More Wine: You get the distinct urge to do science seeing this well stocked lab. Science: Oh, the discoveries you could make with enough patience and equipment. Science Object: A beaker of perfectly generic fluid. Small Bookshelf: Textbooks organized by scientific discipline line these shelves.

SERVICE Cooking Pot: Is it time for you to cook dinner? Hydration Station: You wonder if anyone around here is thirsty… Laundry: You can't remember the last time you've done laundry. Plates: Are you supposed to clean these dishes? Service Object: Ring Bell For Service.

SOUL Spirit Object1: The wandering dead… Spirit Object2: TEAM SPIRIT LETS GO!

SPYING Eye1: IT WEEPS. Eye2: IT STARES. Eye3: IT SEES. Eye4: IT CRIES. Eye5: IT CANNOT BLINK. Eye6: IT SEES. Eye7: IT GLISTENS. Eye8: IT WATCHES. Eye9: IT WAITS. Eye10: IT FOCUSES. Eye11: IT GAZES. Eye12: IT TREMBLES. Eye13: IT LOOKS.

STEALING Cooking Pot: Reminds you of being on the run from the law. Fancy chest: You wonder what kind of loot is in here. Gold Ingots: There is NO way you're going to be able to carry these out of here. Jewelry Box: A tidy fortune in jewels. Necklace: You wonder how much this would be worth on the blackmarket. Pile of Gold1: You are practically drooling seeing so much gold. Pile of Gold2: You want to bathe in this like Scrooge McDuck. Pile of Gold smaller: What could you buy with this? Small gold pile: A modest fortune yours for the taking. Stealing Object: Right Click, Save Image

TECHNOLOGY Laptop: The battery seems to be completely dead. Laundry: Modern technology sure is convinient! Printer: You feel the irrational urge to destroy this flawless piece of technology.

TWISTING Aluminum: This is not JR. JadedResearcher: This is not JR. JR Doll: This is not JR. JR Lobstersona: This is not JR. JR Slug: This is not JR. Twisting Object: Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Zampanio FlowerKid by Hex2: How do sprite sheets work???

WEB Scarecrow: Nearly invisible threads connect to each of its joints. It isn't moving, but you aren't sure it will stay that way. Scarecrow2: Almost invisible threads jerk and tug it in a variety of directions. It seems to be in pain. Web Barrel: More laughs than a barrel of spiders. Web Books: What are words but a way to control others? Web Books: If you read all these books you will be dancing to the collector tune. Web Dragon: Even the most powerful among us are powerless in the face of traps and manipulation. Web Eggs: You can see shadows moving inside the eggs. Occasionally they twitch. Web Flower: Gifts are classic ways to manipulate others. Web Fortune: We are all bound by fate.Webbing: Tiny spiders work tirelessly to spin more of this web. Web Jam: Evolution has programmed you to prefer dense caloric options. Web Jars: Small spiders scuttle inside, endlessly trying to climb up the smooth glass then falling down. Web Money: What is money but chains? Web Organ: It plays a haunting melody all on its own, as gossamer threads tug on the keys. Web Pot: It's filled with spiders. Web Scrolls: What is knowlege but a means to manipulate others? Web Shelves: Society puppets you into keeping things maintained. Web Shield: You are frozen in the certainty that if you were to pick this up, threads would bind it forever to your body. Web Sword1: Bad things will happen if you touch it. Web Sword2: Long abandoned. Web Swords: Who laid them here so carefully together? Web Table: What could this trap? Web Table2: You see shadows moving inside. Web Table3: Small bugs are trapped here. Web Throne: Are even Ruler's immune from the pressures of society? Web Vanity: Your hands jerkily go through the motions of putting makeup on. Web Wine: Spiders desperately scrabble for purchase at the surface of the liquid. Some have already drowned and sunk to the bottom of the bottle. Web Wine2: Will you choose to give up control of your body? Web Zampanio: Your body positions itself in front of it and begins playing a jaunty tune on it. Webbing: Tiny spiders work tirelessly to spin more of this web. Webbing2: It looks like Mr. Spider is not home. Webbing4: What could possibly make such a huge web?

ZAP Zap Object: zap pow kaboom

[crownedcroweprince]

FFXIV Write: Day 13 : Oneirophrenia

Oneirophrenia: A hallucinatory (dream-like) state that is caused by such conditions as prolonged sleep deprivation, sensory isolation, and drug use.

Character Featured: Una'to Bajhiri ( @unatobajhiri )

Content warnings for poison, drug use, blood mention, and implied murder.

Una'to holds the tincture up to the light. He's sequestered away in his house in Ishgard. Within the small glass bottle is a likely potent mixture. A poison made with ground up morpho's. Wings and all. As well as hallucinogenic materials. He hasn't been able to get the mixture to work yet. He's been under the impression that imbibing this sort of thing would let him get some form of high at least. Nothing else he used to play with has worked since his fall. Morpho's were at least used against the Mhachi mages and their voidsent. What's the harm in a little poison and self destructive behavior. He's been sad and bored. He tips the vial, letting it empty out into his cup of tea before sipping at it.

It tastes vile. As a poison often should. So he keeps sipping at it. And with time he starts to feel that dreamy tickle. Like floating, before the world shatters around him and he's plunged into the ink black sea of his oceans, sinking into deeper uncontrollable dreams.

He is walking and feels each thud under his feet. He cups a lovers faced that melts into on thousand frozen tears that he gently cups and carries in his hands as he goes. Everything falls apart. The tears melt. Warm and wet on his hands, but not horrible. The warmth is on his mouth and going down, spreading through his torso despite the cold in Ishgard and Falcon's Nest. He keeps walking in the dream. His feet light, almost floating after the snow melted on his hands. Something is tugging him along. Pulling him and he follows it. Giggling and lost to the world sans the odd landmarks swimming by him in his dream. He reaches the area's near Dravania. The smell of grass is warm and sweet on the air even in his dream. A lovely dream. He keeps walking and floating along. Now and again there's someone he cherishes in the dream on the path. Or so he thinks. The faces are hard to to see when they're swimming in front of him, and shatter when he touches them to try and keep them still. No longer frozen tears, but other things. Pretty red marbles. Gold coins. Cookies. Or twinkling stars. He gathers a handful of them up every time. Enjoying their fleeting heat before they melt in his hands. It's funny. He's so cold yet they keep melting away like this.

His journey goes on. Following that pull. Up and away from the camps and towards a tower into the sky. He floats up and up past dragons, thinking he knew someone that looked like them once in a cold forest not too long ago. There are moogles too, though they flee from him quickly in this alien landscape his dream has taken him in. Until finally he stops and collapses. Tired in his dream from walking all that way.

Some bells pass. And Una'to wakes up. Slowly rising from where he collapsed from his tincture. He's confused at first to find dirt. Had he gone outside into the yard. He feels it under his hands for a time before noticing his tattoo's are gone. Hands going from ink black to his normal skin tone. Claws dig into the earth and smell of blood. As does his mouth. He sits up quickly in a panic, holding his hands out and looking them over. He can feel the wings, clawed feet, and horns on himself now. The panic is gripping him now and he licks at the blood on his hands. Dirt or no dirt. He waits before letting out a shaking sigh. Some small relief. It doesn't taste like the blood of those he holds dear. One small blessing.

He sits there for a time. Realizing he over did it with his experiment before looking back over the cliff and feeling that same dream like tug. Out towards the hulking mass moving slowly through the sky. A rush of emotions overcomes him. None of which he can name, save for the bitter taste they leave in his mouth. For it is none other than the Voidark floating past him now. The thing he once sought to search with friends and allies alike to save him from what he is now. The thing that for some reason or another is calling to him.

What ever is calling to him, he decides, isn't worth his time. So he turns and rips open a tear. Here, the void, home. And he tumbles through into the bathroom of his home. Barely clothed from his walk and willing the monstrous aspects of himself away. Willing the dream like journey away. Pushing it into a corner. He didn't have it in him to go back along the paths and see where the blood came from. He only cared that it wasn't from those he holds dear.

[oliviaillustrations]

Garden of Eden

my piece for the @grishaversebigbang ! this is based off of the lovely dark academia ninej au fic written by @kugisakigf and @emdrabbles titled Garden of Eden

you can find my gang members and their amazing pieces below! 💗

Materialki: @landryaugust (here and here) @oranges-and-stuff (here)

AO3 Link: here!

Summary:

Nina is doing just fine as a directionless art student—she goes to class four times a week, struggles to get oil paint out of her clothes on laundry day, makes sure to dodge her landlord when he asks about rent, and dreads the day she has to graduate. Maybe she feels as important to the grand scheme of things as a stray brushstroke, and she's no closer to any shred of a clue about what she's going to do with her life. But it's fine. She's fine.

Except when Nina’s painting class gets a live model, she spends more time staring at this very pretty, very intimidating newcomer more than she does at her own canvas. Inej is gorgeous and terrifying and has her life together and now Nina can’t remember the last time she was able to think about anything but her. Pressure starts to ramp up and the world she's tried so hard to hide herself from keeps pounding at every wall she's built to protect herself, and now she's left wondering if she'll ever amount to anything. Will history forget Nina Zenik? Will she ever do something worthwhile with what little she's been given? And does it even matter, when Inej Ghafa seems to draw her ever closer, an Icarus to her blazing sun?

First Chapter: Nina Zenik is crumpled in a mass of blankets, shivering and bone-tired, when she realizes that sometimes, living in the attic of a church is worth it. She can deal with the rotting wood that creaks and rolls under her feet, the sounds splintering out across the room as she walks. She can forgive the smell of must and cobwebs, the heavy fragrance of mold and must and incense lingering around every corner, even on the rare occasions when she has time to clean. She can almost ignore the deep ache of wintertime, the heat barely making its way to her with long, spiraling fingers, the cold permeating through every crack in the walls that let in the sharp December chill. She's made her peace with the occasional mouse that sprints underfoot, the moths spending weeks on the windowsill, the shitty water pressure and gas stove that only works once a week if she was lucky.

Because mornings like this seemed to make everything worth it.

The rising sun, shallow and shy in the pale morning light, would reach out and glance off of an ancient stained glass window, just at her bedside. The sky would sing, and the carefully laid image of The Virgin Mary would glow, sweet features framed in green and violet. Nina would wake to vibrant shadows dancing across her skin and colors pooling on her floor like spilled blood. Sometimes, she would just sit there, hours before classes would start. The world faded to a hazy gray, and all that was left was the sunrise and her. She'd just look at the sun, and she'd pause for a moment, and just breathe . It never quite felt like she could get a full breath of air anymore. She would just take a breath, and she'd stop thinking, and she'd just be . She wasn't Nina Zenik, right now. She was sunlight and morning air and that particular shade of crimson shot through with gold when the light shines in.

She blinks, and the sun has moved. She's washed in pitch again, deep blue drowning the lines and arches of her body into a loose silhouette. She's empty, again, just a fragile body in a silent room. The floor dips and bends beneath her feet as if to sing a hollow tune in some form of an answer. It does not feel like enough. It never does.

She wipes a smudge of dust off the windows, her finger stained red even in the fading light. Her heart beats in concert with the pulsing of her head, and she winces, hard. Lack of sleep is catching up to her, it seems. The last few nights—weeks, if she's being true—have been short and restless, a sick sort of fear settling in whenever her eyes begin to close. It burns like every word she's never said and it spoils like a promise in her stomach. Everything is too much, and it's all she can do to stand on two feet and will her fingers to curl around a pencil. And even that's a pretense.

She hasn't been able to paint in months. Everything she makes seems twisted and wrong , an abomination of oil paints and a mockery of everything she's worked to accomplish. (She buries the voice that says she hasn't truly accomplished anything deep in her chest and tries to forget it can still breathe). She's felt stuck, a broken record that keeps skipping the same line of a song she's heard a hundred times. She can feel everything falling away from her, but doesn't know how to hold on to it all. She's losing it all with nothing she can do to stop it.

Nina doesn't have time for this- this crisis , something hisses in her ear, teeth grazing against her neck. But the problem is, she never has time for any of this. It all keeps piling up and then she’s buried under the weight of it and then she's having a panic attack in a public restroom and turning in late assignments and making excuses and she can’t do that . She can't do that again. So she compartmentalizes, picks out tiny little problems, and thinks about them for a short while, washes it down with wine, and calls it a night. Everything she doesn't deal with disappears in the morning. And she likes it that way.

But morning has come, and she still feels like a goddamn inside-out sock and she doesn't know what to do about it. Nina has been floundering for years, though, so this isn't any different than anything else.

Her phone flickers and the curling numbers read 7:49. Shit. She has a nine a.m. class and she's still in bed. Normally, she'd get to rot into her pillows for another hour at least, but she needed it for her major, and by the time she'd finally finished agonizing over which courses to take, it had been the only time slot open. So, here she is, aching limbs and sunburnt eyes, stepping onto the cold embrace of hardwood floors. She shivers, and the weak threads of sunlight that weave through the windows don't make the room any warmer.

The shower isn't warm, either. She bears the wet chill anyway. The water is soothing and it washes away the dregs of sleeplessness from her eyes. She stands under the spray, lets it drip down her back, and feels something like comfort as the soap slips down around her ankles and the room begins to smell like lavender. She waits for the water to finally run low, and steps out, puddles tracing her footsteps as she makes her way to her dresser.

Her hair lies damp on her shoulders, thick strands tangled and dark against her skin. It started curling, lately, and she's not sure why, but she doesn't quite mind. Sometimes, she closes her eyes, and imagines vines and leaves woven through the loose curls. A vision of Dionysus with dirt-stained fingers and violet stains under her eyes. A fairy twined with sumac and oak, wings that glow gold in the sunlight. She's always wanted to be special. She's always wished to be more than she is. But now, her own haggard reflection is what stares back at her. She's not sure if she likes what she sees.

She's not sure that it matters.

Nina gets dressed, rifling through her closet in search of something warm. It’s not like she’s obsessed with how she looks, but she does try and pick something nice. Today, she settles on a pink sweater patterned with strawberries, and earrings to match. (She’s nothing if not consistent.) It’s soft and thick, and it smells like summertime. It’s perfect for this, the kind of day that soaks through your skin and wears away at your bones. She slips into thick boots and a pair of jeans, and she's gone.

She takes the spiral staircase outside of her apartment one creaking step at a time, counting as she goes. One, two, three, four, avoid the loose nail on five, six, seven, eight. She should get that fixed, she thinks. But that would require seeing the landlord. And no one wants to see the landlord. The thought whispers away as fast as it came.

The staircase spits her out in the church vestibule. It’s all dark wood and low ceilings, pale morning light filtering through the narrow windows. Soft music floats through the heavy doors separating Nina from the nave of the church, and if she listens closely, faint chanting is woven between the notes. The song sounds familiar. She’s unsure if it’s a psalm drilled into her from middle school bible camp or because the organ drums the same tune beneath her floor every day.

Nina stands a moment longer, eyes momentarily fluttering closed as she listens, grasped by an unnamable sensation equal parts reassuring and paralyzing. And then she’s out the door, down the marble steps, and on the street.

The cold air stings her cheeks and her shoulders wince against the wind. She really should've grabbed a coat before she left, but it's fine. She still hasn't eaten, and she has a class in half an hour. If she turns back now she'll be late. So, Nina grits her teeth, ignoring how hard they're rattling against each other, and tugs the sleeves of her sweater down to cover her shaking hands. The coffee shop’s only a five-minute walk, and it'll be warm inside, and that's the only thing that keeps her moving forward. Her feet beat on the concrete with a steady rhythm, and she focuses on that instead of the aching cold.

The awning of the Dregs greets her, bold block letters on top of old red brick. Scuttling through the door, she’s welcomed by a gust of warm air. The barista looks up at the gentle tingle of the bell and flashes her a quick smile before resuming their work. They don’t look familiar. Must be a new hire. It feels like every time she gets comfortable around here, something changes. The world rolls and ripples under her feet, and she doesn’t remember the last time she’s caught her balance.

Nina takes a deep breath and rubs her hands together, which are now bright pink, then places them on the tips of her ears, which are also bright pink. The morning is quiet, with only a scattering of patrons to be found in the mixed-matched chairs. Some of the dark red wallpaper is beginning to peel off the plaster behind the counter. The Dregs she knows and loves.

“Good morning.” Behind the counter stands the barista, hands fidgeting with a dishtowel.

Nina blinks. “Mornin’,” she croaks, voice weak. She takes a look at the drink menu, even though she’s been here every morning since freshman orientation, because she needs to look busy and not as if she’s more burnt out than a pile of ash. Thankfully, the barista notices her quiet plea and doesn’t try to strike up any more conversation.

A few beats of silence pass, only interrupted by the occasional clink of coffee mugs. Despite already knowing what she’s going to order--the same damn caramel macchiato with far too much sugar than she should start her day with because why would she ever change the habits that hurt her the most--Nina stares at the menu overhead. Her eyes slowly unfocus, not actually reading the menu so much as wondering if she should even try to, so she doesn’t realize how much time has passed until the barista clears their throat with a little more vigor than necessary.

“So…” they start, rocking on the balls of their feet and making a point to not look directly at Nina. “Can I get you started or…?”

She snaps her head back down. “Oh, shit - sorry, yeah.” She allows herself one more moment to reconsider, then orders the caramel macchiato, but not before fumbling with her change. A cascade of pennies and nickels and dimes all crash to the floor and all noise in the cafe ceases at once. Nina doesn’t need to turn around to know how many pairs of eyes rest on her.

“I’ll, uh - get that for you right away.” The barista couldn’t have shuffled away any faster, disappearing into the back.

Nina swears once, loud, then stoops down and collects her change. Fucking figures. This morning has felt awfully representative of life in recent years - bitter, shitty, reliant on loose change. Yet her pride, or perhaps self pity, leaves her stagnant, unable to change. She refuses to get her hopes up about the coffee. With her luck it’ll be bitter and shitty, too.

The barista comes out soon after, coffee in one hand and muffin in the other. They set both on the counter and offer Nina a meek look. “Muffin’s on the house.”

“Oh. Thank you,” she says, scooping both into her hands. And she means it.

“Of course,” they say. Then they lean over the counter and point across the cafe. “And, uh - the drinks in the case over there, the orange ones. Yeah, those. They’re good for hangovers.”

Nina looks from the barista, to the case, then back to the barista. So that’s what this is. She scrunches her face into a weak smile, though it probably looks more like a grimace, and takes her drink without another word. Of course they think she’s hungover, because who would have such a shitty morning if they were sober? That thought is chased with a wave of guilt, heavy. They were being nice. Why can’t she just say thank you and move on? She pushes the door open and the bone chilling day greets her with a sting of cold that bites at her cheeks, her nose, ready to greet her next misfortune.

[jd-loves-fiction]

➤ 【1】 𝟤 𝒾𝓈 𝒶 𝓅𝒶𝒾𝓇, 𝟥 𝒾𝓈 𝒶 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉𝓎

➤ Finding 1 guy seemed unthinkable as you found yourself getting lost while going to meet with your friend. So imagine your surprise when you meet 2.

➤ pairings: suna x reader | hirugami x reader

➤ genre: college!au; fluff; angst

➤ wc: 4.7k

➤ status: ongoing

➤ 🌙 Special thanks to @offendedfishnoises​ and @glorified-red​ for all the love and help🥰🥺 and if you want to be added to the taglist, let me know ❤

"Just follow the directions and you'll get there, don't worry." Was what your friend had told you a few days before Christmas break in order to help you find the place you were meant to meet at.

Which you had been looking for, for about 30 minutes more than what she said would be necessary.

You were lost.

And to add to the misery, your phone had no reception, meaning you had no way to figure out where you had wandered off to as the cold winter air licked at your flushed cheeks, growing more frigid by the minute as you continued to walk forward.

Days before, when you noticed you had a week off from classes due to Christmas arriving, you had quickly made plans with a friend of yours: to go out and find you a hot date. This as you were both tired of your complaining.

You had already attempted this on the last day of college at a park near it, to no avail as no one of interest had shown up (aside from some friends of yours).

This time you were meant to meet her at a cafe she was very familiar with and a bit far from your house, but she assured you that lots of your type of people hung out there and that it was easy to get to.

The second part was either a lie or your mental map was just that bad.

Despite the fact that the sun should still be high in the sky - were it not being hidden by gloomy clouds - by the mid-afternoon hour, the temperature was nearly unbearable, the icy cold swiftly getting under your clothes and chilling you to the bone as you contemplated calling your friend and explaining your predicament to her.

You looked around the street you found yourself in the middle of, checking for some place where you could protect yourself from the unforgiving winter air as you attempted to message your friend without having your fingers fall off.

You spotted a small cafe in between a drugstore and a shoe store, with a large glass front that allowed you to see all the wooden tables inside, behind a pub table settled against the window, where potted plants sat.

The soft, golden light shining on the plants created an invitation, hard to ignore. Pushing open the door, the low hum of friendly chatter followed by the deep aroma of coffee met your nose and the sight of various homemade pastries warmed you instantly as you rubbed your hands together.

The space was scarcely crowded, expected from the side of town you assumed to have wandered into, but the atmosphere seemed warm and just full enough that it felt lively but not overwhelming.

You ordered your chosen beverage and sat at a table near the wall with it as you inspected the shop. Most of its occupants were teenagers and young adults, either chatting amongst themselves or typing away on their laptops while sipping coffee or eating various kinds of delicious looking pastries.

The walls were a light beige, contrasting with the dark furniture and a large wall with a painting of two birds atop a tree branch caught your eye, until you remembered what you had gone there to do: check-in with your friend and figure out where you were.

You took out your phone while looking at the sign on the wall with the WiFi password and waiting for it to connect as you looked around once more.

Your eyes skimmed over mostly natural or brightly colored hair, floating over simple waves and more intricate hairdos just before your eyes drifted down and caught a pair of big, brown ones who seemed to study you with a sweet sort of intensity, almost as if in awe. That made you blush, and not from the cold this time. Just before you looked away and tried to find something to keep you busy as your phone lay somewhat forgotten by your arm, facedown on the table.

The image of the handsome man whom you'd locked gazes with remained at the forefront of your mind as you took out your most recent fixation, a book of theories about soulmates, to avoid looking anymore out of place and awkward. He might've been smiling, or it could've just been your hopeful imagination. You decided not to dwell on it lest you fool yourself with hopelessly romantic deceptions.

You had come out to find a date. But not without your friend's help!

That would certainly end in disaster.

The words before you sucked you in, capturing your attention enough that your previous worries were all but an itch in the back of your mind as your cheeks finally cooled.

A notification reaching your phone broke your focus, making you pick it up to see a message from your friend, from about 10 minutes prior, saying that she couldn't make it due to a family emergency.

Well, at least you didn't leave her hanging.

Sighing, you placed your phone in your pocket, taking another sip of your drink and returning to your book.

Just before a shadow settled over you.

"Do you believe in them?" A voice asked, calm and smooth, from in front of you, to where you directed your eyes.

You looked to where you expected to see the man's face, only to be met with his broad chest, clad in a baby blue hoodie, before you looked up and up, and up and up...

God, he's tall.

As your eyes met his light brown ones - the ones from before which had examined you closely, you noted - he smiled, sweet and charming, inviting but not pushy as he waited for your answer.

"I--," You cleared your throat as you felt your voice begin to crack, almost sure you saw his eyes flicker with delight. You nodded before attempting to speak again. "Just not in such a… clear-cut way, I guess." You spoke shyly as his brows raised in interest, motioning towards the chair in front of you, to which you nodded, making him sit.

"I'm Hirugami Sachirō, by the way." He said, still with a smile, nodding as you told him yours. "Please do continue." He tilted his head cutely as he gazed at you, expectant as you thought extra hard about what answer to give the man you were currently trying to impress, making his short wavy, fluffy-looking hair move slightly over his forehead.

"Well, I believe everyone has someone that they're destined to be with, someone who just fits. But I don't think everyone is meant to find them, for starters." You explained, focusing on your words instead of on the blush growing brighter as you went on.

"As in, they don't deserve it?" Hirugami inquired, leaning forward as he rested his cheek on his hand. Cute.

"No, I mean, maybe they're from some other time period or a place they could never travel to. I feel like sometimes the world itself just makes it difficult."

"Makes sense." He said, nodding with a thoughtful pout and chuckling lowly as you refused to meet his interested gaze. "Which part are you at?" He motioned to the still open book with his chin.

"Oh! This chapter is about the possibility of having more than one soulmate. Which I think is somewhat neat. What do you think?"

His eyes widened slightly at being directed a question, before humming reflectively for a moment before speaking, "That sounds unfair, doesn't it? I feel like you had to have been a really good person in your last life to get that."

"You're trying to bring karma into this? It's already complex enough as it is." You chuckled, watching as his smile broadened at the sound, before shrugging.

"Exactly why we need to consider all the possibilities." He shrugs, leaning back and making you suddenly miss the close proximity that seemed so intimidating at first. His legs brushed yours for a moment before he adjusted his position slightly to sit somewhat properly.

"Are you a philosopher, or something?" You asked, impressed by his knowledge of such an unusual topic. "I mean, this is something not a lot of people know about." You explained after he raised a curious brow at your question (probably meant to tease, you guessed).

"No,” his hand came up to bashfully cover the growing smile on his face, "I'm actually a vet student, I just like learning." He said, shrugging as if it was the simplest thing. "And maybe I'm a little bit of a romantic at heart."

Your lips pursed as you tried to keep your smile from getting too wide as you felt giddy with fondness for the whole-package of a man in front of you. "Is that so?" You asked, not sure what else to say to that, looking down as you traced random shapes on the table with your finger while blushing.

You couldn't see it, but Hirugami had a very serious, contemplative expression on his face as you did this.

Would it be too forward to just ask you out then and there? You seemed quite reserved... Would you be creeped out?

But if he didn't do it then, he was afraid he'd never get his chance again. Plus, he didn't want this warm, fuzzy feeling you caused in his chest to ever disappear. He wanted to hold onto it for a little longer.

"You could find out just how much of a romantic I can be..." He trailed off, inspecting your face for any signs that you might not be interested, but all he saw was how your blush deepened as your mind worked faster than his lips, so he made his move, leaning forward slightly as your eyes widened meekly. "By letting me take you out somewhere. Right now."

Your eyes snapped to his, blinking in confusion as he grinned, your blush somehow becoming even redder.

That was almost too smooth.

"Right now? It's pretty late. Where would we go?"

"Don't you like surprises?" His adorably jovial expression nearly made you give in.

"What if I don't?" You asked back with a small smirk that you promptly hid behind your nearly finished drink as you took a sip.

He sighed exaggeratedly, before leaning forward again, even closer than before as his hand fell beside your stagnant one, mirroring your position as his leg brushed yours without moving away this time. "There's this really fun Christmas market downtown... I'm sure you'd like it." He spoke with a high pitched voice, hoping to convince you with his puppy eyes and batting eyelashes. Not that you needed any of that to be convinced to go on a date with such an attractive man.

"Sure." You responded, mentally cringing at your lame reply. But Hirugami didn't seem to mind. He smiled broadly at you, taking your empty cup and throwing it away as you packed your stuff before walking towards where he stood at the entrance.

He was even taller than you thought. He had to be at least 1,90m, you noticed as you stood beside him, dwarfed in comparison. His long, beige coat made him seem even taller, complimenting his hoodie as well as the light blue jeans adorning his long legs.

"You'll like it, I promise." He said before pushing open the door for you before getting out of the shop and into the unforgiving cold of dusk, seemingly much colder than it actually was for people coming out of a warm and inviting environment you'd been in before.

You smiled at each other for a moment as you rubbed your hands together, wishing you'd brought some gloves as he led you closer to downtown.

You admired Hirugami's side profile as you walked in somewhat comfortable silence, broken up occasionally by his humming. You willed yourself to say something this time, instead of letting him lead the conversation.

Before you could come up with a topic, a kid ran in front of you to go join his friends, almost making you lose your balance if not for Hirugami's gentle hand on your lower back steadying you.

After making sure that you were alright, he turned to the group of kids gathered in a circle, with you doing the same, as they picked snowballs out of the mount they'd created before placing pieces in their mouths.

"I remember when I was that stupid." Hirugami said, smiling sarcastically, before scrunching his nose disapprovingly as the kids shouted excitedly about what they'd just done.

"You couldn't have been that stupid." You chuckled as you eyed the kids worryingly while you passed as you continued walking.

"My thinking license was revoked that day." He replied, chuckling as he reminisced, making you giggle as you talked.

"Is it still revoked?"

"If you keep smiling like that it will be."

Your eyes widened at the unexpected line, looking away as his eyes remained on you intently with a smile on his lips, breaking out into a full laugh as you looked down embarrassedly.

"Well," You began after cleaning your throat, hoping it'd distract him from your burning cheeks, "do you want to expand on that?"

"So, one Christmas, my siblings and I decided to give our mother a very expensive pair of diamond earrings. Fancy stuff." His humorous tone made you giggle. "And pretty important, since without them, none of us would have any gifts to give her. I think you can kind of see where this is going by now."

"Or maybe not, because I haven't even introduced the most important character yet, but we'll get there." You raised an intrigued brow, smiling at his excited narration. "On Christmas day, our dog was left unsupervised near the presents for a few minutes, and when we came back, she had a very special and very expensive box in her mouth." He paused for dramatic effect as you cringed in sympathy. 

He looked over at you to check if you were still listening, to find you with a scrunched up, adorably red, nose. The corner of his lips inched upwards softly, a blush dusted his cheeks and not from the cold before he regained his composure by looking ahead and making sure he didn’t stumble.

"And so, I tried to approach her and she ran away through the open window and I attempted to follow her... Only it didn't turn out as smooth as I had imagined." He sighed as you smiled with pity.

"And that's why Peanut isn't allowed anywhere near the presents."

“Peanut? Is that her name?" You asked curiously.

"Yeah! Wait, I have a picture right here." He said, pulling out his phone and showing you his lock screen, which was a picture of Hirugami and Peanut from years ago judging by how young he looked.

"She's adorable." You commented with a fond smile as you enjoyed the large, happy smile on young Hirugami's lips as he held his pet tightly, just before it was stored away in the man's pocket.

"Yeah, she takes after me."

Silence.

"I'll take it you think I'm cute."

"I plead the fifth." You both laughed loudly, earning odd stares from passersby that you paid no mind, as you approached a more crowded area close to the market. You would never tell him, but you were glad your joke was able to keep you from admitting that you did, indeed, find young Hirugami absolutely adorable. So cute that your heart could barely take it, with his bouncy looking hair and a toothy smile spreading over his round cheeks.

"But yeah, I got a whole mouthful of snow against my will and it wasn't anywhere near fun. So to see kids doing it willingly... Choices were certainly made." He said sarcastically as you laughed, nodding in agreement as you approached the wide plaza where the market was stationed, bustling with people and bright fairy lights.

"Come on! There's a stall this way that I buy from every year, and it never disappoints."

Hirugami led you towards a small stall with steam coming out of the windows as the worker fulfilled the people at the front of the queue's orders.

You stood by each other in line as you waited for your turn. "What kind of chocolate do you like?" He asked nonchalantly, and as you focused you could smell the scent of chocolate above the others.

"Surprise me." You said, not knowing exactly what he was planning to give you, but expecting something good nonetheless.

"I thought you didn't like surprises." He replied cheekily, smirking down at you as the line moved forward and you with it.

"Only on certain occasions."

"I'll keep that in mind." He said with a cheesy wink that still made you giggle. "You can stay back while I order, it'll be easier that way." He suggested as you got close to the start of the line, to which you nodded before motioning towards the fountain at the center of the plaza, waving as you walked to it.

You settled on the edge of it, taking out your phone and sending a message to your friend saying 'I have a lot to tell you.'

Just a few meters away stood a man who you were somewhat familiar with, tapping almost furiously on his screen, so unlike the deadpan expression on his face.

Bastard: Just fucking do it pussy🙄 It's the perfect opportunity!

So, clearing his throat, the man stepped forward, towards where you sat also looking at your phone.

"Here I thought you were the prettiest statue on the fountain." The man spoke from in front of you, making you look up from your phone to be met grayish-yellow narrow eyes that tugged at your memory in a familiar sort of way, though you couldn't place where you'd seen them before.

"You calling me stiff?" You asked with a blank look, holding in a smile as you finally realized where you knew him from, and by the widening of his eyes as he looked you over properly, he finally realized too.

"No! Ah fuck, aren't you in one of my classes?" The man asked, nose scrunched up in confusion as he squinted at you.

You nodded, telling him your name and what classes you shared (which were actually 2).

As he stuffed his cold hands in his pockets, his various rings caught on the fabric slightly, the glinting sliver on his pale hands matched the chains around his neck and the dangling earrings he wore. He looked down with furrowed brows which jumped up as a lightbulb seemed to go off in his head as he looked you over once more.

"Wait, was it two classes? Sorry, I don't really pay much attention to anything that happens in class." He said apologetically, rubbing his neck as he shifted from one chunky white sneaker to the other.

"Yeah, I can tell, even from the back row." You responded with a smirk, remembering the sight of the back of his spiky, dark brown hair, sitting two rows in front of you, doing everything but paying attention to the lesson. Fiddling with his jewelry or his phone,throwing anything he can get his hands on at one of his friends or simply just talking to them during the whole class. "If you didn't recognize me, then why'd you come talk to me?"

"Huh..." He trailed off, brows furrowed as if the answer was obvious.

He saw someone cute and tried to flirt with them, simple as that.

"Is that your friend?" Hirugami asked as he approached you and the new stranger, Suna, with two warm crepes with chocolate, narrowing his eyes at the other man slightly. "Hope you like Nutella." He commented as he watched you eye the sweets, handing one over to you which you took gratefully.

“We have a few classes together.” Suna said teasingly, taking a step closer to your side he kept his fox-like eyes on Hirugami’s narrowed ones with a challenging smile.

The air felt hot, slightly searing, despite how cold your hands felt, caught between two, very tall - although Hirugami was slightly taller than Suna, accentuated by his slouching -, very attractive, men.

"Well, we should get back to our date, I'm sure they can talk to you again in class next week.” The taller man said, a smile which you recognized as clearly being fake after such a short time with him on his face, taking a pleased bite out of his snack which you were also eating in an attempt to warm yourself up and distract from the tense atmosphere.

The sweet chocolate felt wonderfully warm on your taste buds, so good in fact that it nearly made you forget all about your surroundings for a moment, that is, until a hand was placed on your shoulder.

“Well, I don’t know if you noticed but your date seems cold." Said Suna - the owner of the hand on your shoulder - spitefully, smirking at the other man who blinked at your devious classmate, before they both turned to you.

Suna took your nearly finished snack from your hand, placing it into Hirugami’s opened hand as he gaped at the man - who donned some impressively sharp eyeliner - speechless as he took your hands into his pale and warm ones.

His hands were big around yours, the rings’ various textures scuffing against your skin as he attempted to create some friction tightening his grip to get the blood flowing and massaging each finger and the palms to help, breathing onto them as well as Hirugami looked in realization.

His hands had seemed cold at first glance when he’d first approached you - not like you’d been paying much attention to them, of course not - due to how pale and slim they were, seemingly incapable to provide much warmth despite being bigger than yours. But as he slowly brought warmth back to your digits, you realized their potential. He was gentle with his touches, but had a firm hold against your skin, hands so warm you wondered if he minded sacrificing his own warmth for yours.

Hirugami’s initial reaction was to chide Suna for putting the moves on his date, before he noticed the way your hands had lost some of their color, starting to regain it as the shorter man held them softly in his. He felt a sort of acceptance or perhaps even fondness for Suna’s actions, considering he saw what you needed before he could and acted without hesitation.

Maybe Hirugami's first thought of Suna, that he was a crafty man out to steal his date, was off by just a bit.

Not like he'd ever admit that. 

He still thought he was too crafty though.

His shoulders sagged as he watched the way Suna gazed at you intently, your cheeks pinker than before. His brows furrowed as his chest tightened protectively, jealousy swirling in his gut.

You looked over at the man with the beige coat, noticing the crestfallen expression he wore as he stared down at the food in his hands.  A half melted, nearly finished sag of chocolate; once prepared with care to bring warmth and comfort, now lay cold, shapeless even. His eyes stared down at it, refusing to look at the result of his carelessness unfolding before him, choosing instead to focus on the hopefulness he could still feel as he looked at the sweet snack.

“I should probably start heading home.”

“I’ll walk you to the station!” Hirugami said quickly in response, not being content with just sitting back and wallowing in his mistakes. Those days are over.

“Then, I’ll be going. See you on monday.” Suna said cheekily with a wink as he waved, eyes solely focused on you while you smiled while waving back.

The man then turned to Hirugami, giving a nod that could’ve been respectful, but he took it as mocking, since that seemed to be the only expression Suna could muster. But he nodded back nonetheless, turning away with an arm around your shoulders.

“Is this the right way?” You asked as you headed the opposite way from where you came from, looking up at Hirugami as he took his arm from around you with a blush as he avoided your gaze.

“We can get to the station this way pretty fast and I want to show you something.”

You simply nodded, clueless to the reason why he was leading you down this path.

He felt as if he had something to prove. As if he had to be better than his “rival” (who wasn’t really a rival at all, to his knowledge).

Just like when he was younger, he had to be better.

As the two of you walked in comfortable silence, you couldn't help but gaze down at your feet. Colorful lights reflected brightly off of the worn stone path, diverting your gaze upwards. Figures made of lights greeted you as you did. Hirugami smiled fondly at you after you looked up to meet his gaze, he watched as the lights reflected off of your eyes, your face becoming redder at the eye contact. The hot fuzziness you felt in your stomach forced you to look away from his intense look.

You walked side by side through the streets, commenting on the lights you saw and admiring the way they hung between buildings, right above your heads. 

At one point, Hirugami slipped his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers for good measure. His hand felt big, warm and soft, slightly bigger than Suna's with fingers just a little thicker--

Wait. 

Why were you still thinking about Suna?

Why did your mind still linger on the feeling of his rings on your hands or the way his razor sharp eyes zeroed in on you like you were the most expensive piece of jewelry he'd ever seen?

You would've felt bad for Hirugami, if your mind wasn't on him too. 

It seemed impossible for it not to be with how calming his presence was, easily lulling you into a sense of comfort like the sound of soft waves caressing the sand on a sunny summer day. 

Somewhere you sort of would rather be at right now. 

"Here we are." Hirugami's voice cut through the fog in your mind, stopping in front of the station and giving you an adorably awkward smile, swinging your still joined hands back and forth. This caused you to giggle at his antics while he laughed loudly at the released tension.

Neither of you wanted to speak, too afraid to ruin the pleasant atmosphere, knowing that you’d have to part from each other once you did.

Hirugami squeezed your hand once, then twice, then again as you did the same, rubbing his finger over the back of your hand as he took a step closer. His body heat enveloped you as he stood close enough for you to notice that his eyelashes were slightly lighter than his hair.

His hand raised hesitantly, brushing the side of your face with a feather-light finger that went around your head until he cradled it. You craned your head up in order to look at him as he looked down at you fondly, thumb stroking your red cheek. His big brown eyes roamed your features, as if committing them to memory with fond care.

“I’m glad we met. Call me anytime, ok?” He whispered, each word brushing your face before you nodded. His heart made his chest vibrate with its strength as he breathed deeply while looking intently into your eyes, nervous but elated at the happenings of his day. Well, most of them.

Hirugami’s face neared yours suddenly, eyes half-lidded while yours widened, before he placed a long and tender kiss on your forehead, making your eyes slip closed for a moment, the feeling of his soft, plump lips against your skin making your head feel light and a pleasant warmth to hum beneath your skin.

You stepped away from him slowly, hands attempting to hold each other for as long as possible before you walked towards the station, turning around every few steps to shoot him a smile or a wave before he disappeared from your view with an animated wave and a wide, toothy smile.

You took out your phone, pulling up your friend’s contact and ignoring the messages she’d sent already in response to your previous, cryptic text, and sending another message.

I have even more to tell you.

[hughiecampbelle]

Uncomplicated (Steve Rogers Oneshot)

Character/s: Steve

Word Count: 1,179

Tag List: @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt @myriadimagines @lilyswritings @encounterthepast @writerdream22 @brithedemonspawn @lotsoffandomrecs @locke-writes @thedarkqueenofavalon @fangirlsarah16 @randomfandomimagine @amirahiddleston @diana-westmoon

A/N: Someone very close to me told me something like this a while back, that I'm a hard person to love, and it's been stuck in my head, so I guess I wanted to make it into something more positive :) Who else to do it better with than my #1 Mans? It's not my best in the whole world, but oh well :P Anyways, this is a lil reminder that no matter what anyone says, you are loved and it is so easy to love you. Nothing you could ever do could change my mind. Hope you like it!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💖💜

Summary: Love can be simple, even when it's never felt like it 💕

Gif Credit: @anakinskywalk :)

FIC MASTERLIST PART ONE. / PART TWO. / PART THREE.

WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?

"You are an incredibly hard person to love."

A fact, maybe one they'd read in passing, reciting verbatim. A poem, their words dipped in heartache and honey. A song, their pitch light and effortless. Something of meaning, of substance, instead of the cold truth. A truth, in their eyes, instead of something that's used to kill. Hard. To love. Questioning the root of the anger, the distaste, the disgust. An indifference so pure, so untouched, it's almost perfect. Almost. Tiles cracked, split right down the middle. Hard, and angry, the kindest place to rest your weary, aching head. The lines in your skull aligning perfectly, as if it had been the source of destruction, the source of smashing,the source of rage. As if you had been the weapon all along. Sometimes, that's what love felt like, their love. You were sure, somewhere out there, someone else's love could be gentle, affectionate, painted in pastels and kissed, cheek to cheek, each night. Love could be patient, understanding, it had the potential to be pure of heart. Theirs was not, and you were never quite sure why. Cracked open. Red seeping between your teeth, your gums, spitting, drooling iron. A heaviness deeper than bone marrow, than the center of the universe. Old wounds open, gaping, hemorrhaging, curious fingers picking, plucking, tearing away scar tissue, scab after scab. They did this because they loved you, because that's what others had done to them, but you couldn't help but question, why in the world would they want to willingly hurt someone because they themselves had been hurt?

You can picture it. The ease of it all. An effortless kind of feeling, light, airy. Nothing that sits on your shoulders, nothing that stifles your sobs, nothing that leaves you shaking, cowering, begging for something, anything, to change.

This is bare soles against the cold wooden floorboards. A refreshing stir midst the summer heat. Avoiding the creaks and crevasses of each board, floating down the staircase of such a place. No worries of slipping. That kind of pain doesnt live in a place like this. Along the wall there are framed pictures of every shape and size. Old and new, him, you, the both of you, black and white, fraying at the ends, all of them smiling through the glass, knowing they're exactly where they should be. You could still feel the ache in your sides, the tears down your cheeks, the laughter that refused to stop, unable to catch your breath. He clung, sure you'd find your way to the bottom, a hammer in his other hand. Another nail poked through too far, just like the others. Assuring him you could do it, but always too stubborn, wanting to try again. All this time, and still so forgetful, his own strength slipping his mind. Now, the walls themselves are bloated and sweating, cursed by the heat, the warmth, the humidity, waiting for the sun to settle. You can hear him, on the porch, the door open, screen letting in what little breeze there is. Calling his name because it's the sweetest word you know, wanting nothing more than to be with him, the distance between you already too great, too much.

This is shooing away the bugs when the stars come to play. Temmperature dropping, his arm around you, doing his best to protect you from the onset of shivering. Together, at last. Nothing but the crickets, the buzzing of a new world come to life, come to play, and the sway of the tall grass can be heard. Constellations sprinkled across the abyss, watching you like you watch them. He tells you all he knows, the stories of men long dead, war torn bones, the comfort they found in the same night sky as you did. You rest your head against him, close enough to hear his steady breathing, a sound you find yourself lulled to sleep by each night. There's a calm in the air, bright like the fireflies, one you can't find anywhere else, nor would you want to. Your own slice of heaven. Stripped of nothing but the smallest wonders of life. The breeze against your skin, nuzzled against your face, reminding you that you're alive, that there is so much more out there than what you see and feel right now.

This is a home alone, in need of space. Escaping the clutter, the noise, wanting more room to breathe. Escaping the noise, and the terror that comes with it. Space to grow, to thrive, to be allowed to change. Stifled for too many years, suffocated under the weight of others. Now it was only two, and that was okay. He is always nearby, reaching out, pulling you close, talking even when he's far away. His hand outstretched waiting for your own. Long walks through the grass, picking flowers, watching the birds and bunnies, naming them one by one. There are no expectations. Nothing waiting home to do, or wanting to be done. Things are as they are, and that's all. He stares, though not the way they used to. His jaw is not tight, his eyes are not narrowed, there is no flinch at the anticipation of words he dould never take back. He stares in awe, wearing a hint of a smirk, a light in his eyes settled sweetly. Sometimes you're able to catch him, your skin burning, looking away before he sees. Sometimes you don't, and those are his favorite moments, when you let him get lost in all your littlest details, reminding him again and again, why he fell for you.

This is the kind of love, of life you used to dream of, hope for, wasting every shooting star and eyelash on what you have now. The ones who weaponize their love, who use it as a means of getting what they want, who only love you for what you do, and not solely for your existence, are gone. They can't touch you anymore. The wounds they left are healing slowly. Sometimes, something will tug at them, snagging on a sharp corner or a distant memory, and it will reopen. Those are the days you fear the only thing you're good for is bleeding out. He's there now, doing what he can, cleaning up the mess. He doesn't always understand, he can't, but that doesn't stop him from trying, and it doesn't stop you from trusting him.

Suddenly, though you guess not so suddenly, the saying is no longer jaded or jagged. It's sharp, pointed ends slicing you through and through are dulled, softer now, tracing your skin instead of slicing. The ways in which they prettied up their words grow old, lipstick smeared, mascara run. This love is not that. It's not dolled up, or pretending to be soft. His words, like himself, are thoughtful, chosen with care, with patience, spoken so softly you can barely hear, as if any louder, something inside might suddenly crack. . . .

"You are an incredible person, so much so, it's impossible not fall in love."

[tamagochiie]

--would you be so kind [tsukishima kei]

genre: fluff/slight angst 

pairing: tsukishima kei x reader 

song: would you be so kind by dodie

synopsis: you’ve fallen for quite a boy and what’s the best way to confess to someone if not during the school festival? 

wc: 2.37k

a/n: truth be told, i was inspired to write this when i was listening to dodie, and i tried to somehow tie the lyrics in with the story, but i kinda lost my flow in between, but the story still works! 

"This might seem strange..." You should've known better than to reach out to Yamaguchi and Yachi the moment those words left his lips. You should've cut him off, stopped him before he could finish the thought and left, but you didn't. You had sat there with your attention wrapped around Yamaguchi's finger as he conceptualized your perfect confession.

I should've gone to someone else, you thought. But you didn't have many friends and the ones you did have had no experience with love. You were lucky enough to have been friends with the ultimate Karasuno High duo canonically known to the student body as: YamaYachi.

Though, you weren't entirely sure if you could even deem yourself lucky.

They were quite meddlesome since you've come to know them and let them into your life. Though for someone as quiet and kept together as you, their presence helped spice up it every now and then. Like when they volunteered you to be the new volleyball manager without your consent, or when they had found out your heart had unwillingly fallen for Karasuno's notorious jackass, Tsukishima Kei, and butt in.

They would crack a wedge in every small opening they found to get you two together and chucked you right through it. During practice, when it came to water breaks, they'd make sure Tsukki wouldn't be able to get his water bottle, forcing him to go to you to ask for it. Whenever they heard Tsukki wanted to stay behind to practice, without your consent, they'd volunteer you. When it came to walking home, oh, they'd make sure you were always by his side while they followed behind.

Though it had been extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing, a friendship did blossom. Eventually, Yachi and Yamaguchi no longer needed to manipulate the forces of nature, and Tsukki would just come looking for you on his own.

So here you were, determination shaking in your bones as you strode down the crowded corridor of your high school, going against the current as you ignored your friends' attempts to catch your attention. You took deep breaths to calm the persistent thumping of your heart and to the ease  the miniatured yous dashing around in circles in your mind.

If it had been up to you, your confession would've been as toned down and discreet as you: sticking a note in Tsukki's locker and making a run for it. But your high school life had fallen into the hands of two people who shared the same brain cell, so of course, go big or go home.

At least that's what Yamaguchi had said.

He made it a point that it was their final year while you were still struggling in your second year. "If you're gonna tell someone you like them, you might as well do it facing them head on, right?"

As much as you hated it, he was right. But you shook the pompous image of Yamaguchi as you drew near your meeting place. You met Yachi at the corner away from everyone else. Her face softened when she saw the nervousness in your eyes and greets you with a hug."How are you lungs?"

"They're a bit in pain." You answered honestly, breaths shaky. "This so dumb, I don't think I can do this."

"If I could swap chests with you today, I would." She joked as an attempt to ease you; it was her silly way of saying, "I'd trade the storm in your heart for the stillness in mine," and though her odd one-liners would help, it wasn't working. "You don't have to do the funny stuff Yams said—just  go up to him and tell him. That's all you really need to do...They boys are just over there by the ramen booth,"

You leaned to the side to catch a good look at Tsukki, but what you find tightly gripped your heart and squeezed out the little confidence you had been mustering the entire day.

Another girl—a pretty girl—who was glued to him by the hip, laughing and twirling her hair. But what shocked you the most was the way Tsukki looked at her intently as she spoke, like he was making it a point to actually listen to whatever was coming out of her mouth.

Yachi caught the pain etched in your face and turned to see what the problem was, "Oh shit."

You didn't exactly know what came over you, but before you brain could match the tempo of the rest of your body, you called out his name and marched towards him. "Tsukishima Kei!"

Eyes dilated and looking down at you, he blinked at the sudden sight of you. His lips twitched in a smile as if he was happy to see you, but before he could address you or even say hello, you cut him off, unintentionally yelling, "I like you! I-I know you know that I like you, b-but that's not enough...So, i-if you would—Please go out with me! "

Time was such a fickle thing; because though it had only been a mere couple of seconds, it felt like you were stuck in a forever as the silence lingered between you, Tsukki, and everyone else that was within range to hear not only your confession, but your unexpectedly bold decision to ask him out as well.

Holy fucking shit, you thought. Though the silence was a loud and clear response, the rapid thumping of your heart was louder; and you couldn't stand the thought of staying there any longer. So before Tsukki would even manage to part his lips, you bolted out of there.

You ran to the pool side, far from where everyone else had gathered, where you were supposed to watch the fireworks with Tsukki if things had fallen into place like it was supposed to. You plopped yourself onto bleachers and sunk your head into your hands as you wept. You felt in incredibly silly.

"There's gotta be some butterflies somewhere," Yamaguchi had said this when you asked if it was a smart move for you to confessing to someone when you weren't even sure if there was even the smallest possibility the feelings were mutual. You should've taken it as a sign that you shouldn't have done.

But you did.

Oh, god, you did.

The image of Tsukki looking at you dumbfounded by your confession bled through and all you could do was sob harder into your hands. You remember  the teams' faces, how shocked they were to have heard you say more than three words in one breath.

Oh, shit, the team. You were gonna have to quit being manager because there as no way in hell you could bounce back from the depths of your embarrassment and pretend as if you hadn't done that, especially in front of that pretty girl.

You wanted to hate Yamaguchi and Yachi, to place the blame on them, but they never said to screech out a confession let alone ask him out. So, this was undoubtedly on you. In the end, you were the idiot and you probably just lost a really decent friendship with someone you didn't even believe could be a good friend to begin with.

Regardless of Tsukki's reputation, he was quite kind, considerate, and attentive; if you were struggling with math or life in general he was willing to listen if he couldn't physically step in to help. Thinking about it, he always seemed to match his pacing with yours. If you were in a good mood, he'd banter with you, but if you weren't he'd tread lightly and do something to lift your spirits.

During lunch, he'd buy food in pairs; one for him and one for you because he when he asked why you didn't bring food every day, you told him you didn't have time to do it in the morning and you were too tired to bother when you came home. He'd lend you his jacket if you felt cold.  He'd always wait for you after club if you had to pack up equipment or do extra tasks.

All these small gestures made your heart stand on its toes, but maybe you were bold to assume he saw your more than a friend.

Maybe you were bold to assume anything.

"I wanna die!" You groaned as you finally lifted your head from your hands, your eyes meeting the sky. The sun had fallen into the horizon and it was beginning to grow dark.

"Well, if you drop dead now, I won't be able to give you an answer." You jumped at the disembodied voice, gasping. You whipped your head to find Tsukki stepping out of the tall shadow of the pool shed. A sly smirk played across his lips with this hands hidden behind his back as he waltzed towards you.

You frowned at him, not really looking at him, but rather the buttons on his shirt. Too tired to run, you accepted your fate and swallowed the little pride you surprisingly had left and decided to face the rejection head on.

"H-How'd you find me?" Your voice was strained from the crying, so you cleared your throat and tried to relax. But when Tsukki took up the space beside you, you couldn't help but flinch back into stiffness.

"Yamaguchi said you might be here..."You scoffed as you brought your knees up to your chest, still avoiding looking at him. You looked ahead at the backdrop of the night, your ears trained on the subtle chirping of the crickets nearby. This would've been an ideal date moment, thought. The embarrassment once again creeped in and you shiver at what you had done moments ago.

Why was he here? Shouldn't he be with that girl? If he was here to reject you, he should hurry up rather than spend another moment wasting it on silence.

"Hey—"

"If you're going to reject me, please do so now." You deadpanned, cutting him off. There was a tingling, numbing feeling that began to build in the tips of your fingers, and would later spread throughout your whole body. "I'd rather you be straight to the point and reject me now. I'd rather you be cold and straight to the point rather than sit here and pick at your words, so please  just hurry and reject me."

Tsukki scoffed at you, pushing the frame of his glasses further onto the bridge of his nose. "Well, damn," He seethed. The way he said your name made your heart float, but your stomach drop. "What the hell do you want?"

"Excuse me?"

"You asked me to go out with you, now you want me to reject you? Tell me, which is it?" You looked at him, finally meeting his gaze. He looked annoyed—no, he looked angry and you couldn't tell why.

"I—"

"Because I came here with an answer and a bag full of that spicy ramen you liked so much," He leaned in, lessening the gap between the two of you. Though you should've been wary at the close proximity, you couldn't help but have your thoughts wander over to the spicy ramen. Did he really bring me spicy ra—" You're so annoying! I listened when you told me what you had to say, so shut up and listen to me."

"Tsukki I—"

"Yes." He said, firmly. He swung his leg over to the other side of the bench so that he'd be completely facing you. Your cheeks began to burn and you swallowed thickly at the action. "Yes, I will go out with you. I want to go out with you. Damn it, I was supposed to ask you myself, but you had to go ahead of me. I didn't even know you had that in you."

"...I didn't..." You muttered.

"Then why'd you go and do it?"

"I—" You were at a loss for words; partly because Tsukki had just said yes, but also because of his bluntness and the aggression laced in the words that so easily left his lips. "I wanted you to know before you graduated...and it would've been a waste if I stuck a note in your locker instead of facing you head on..."

"So you decided to yell it at me?"

"I panicked!" You retorted.

"Why?"

"Well," You caught your bottom lip between your teeth before you could let yourself finish. You remembered the pretty girl, how close she leaned onto Tsukki, and the bitter taste that followed. "I—Cause...That..That girl you were with...I kinda just...I snapped, okay?"

"The girl?...Oh." It was as if you heard a clicking sound the moment Tsukki had realized what you meant. "That's my cousin... She'll be an incoming first year next year, so I wanted to show her around."

Oh, my god, shoot me in between the eyes.

You buried your face back into your hands as Tsukki began to laugh. You wanted to die right then and there, you prayed to the deity's to grace you with some sort of blessing and hit you with a rock—maybe even get set on fire by a firework. Anything.

"Wooow, I can't believe I like you." Tsukki sighed as he leaned back with his arms stretched behind him for support. You peaked at him through the spaces between your fingers, watched as he smirked to himself.

"W-Wait you really like me?"

"Duh!" He spat, rolling his eyes. "Did you think I said yes to you as a joke? I would've said yes to you in front of everyone back there if you hadn't taken off like that." You sat there as you pressed your legs closer to your chest, resting your chin on your knees completely dumbfounded. You had many questions, but not enough time to take up in the night to ask it all.

You sat up straight before completely twisting yourself to face him. He furrowed his  brows at you, watching you shift in your seat as you tried to regain the confidence you had lost. You cleared you throat and met his eyes, leaning in. "Then, would you be so kind to fall in love with me?"

A playful smirk tugged the corner of Tsukki's lips, "I already have."

[scribbles-spills-the-ink]

3 AM |Luna x Reader|

A/n: All of my x readers contain a reader with a disability, sometimes the disability is important, other times it’s just an extension to the character. Abled bodied readers can still read/like/comment/ and reblog, of course.

Genre: Fluff!

Warnings: Light cursing, injured animal, mentions of blood, reader takes medication.

It was 3 am when my eyes shot open and I arched my back in pain. I cursed to myself as I grabbed at my frozen legs, and groaned when I realised there was no feeling in them. My labored breathing was one of the only sounds in the sparkling Ravenclaw dorm room, along with the light snoring and sleep talking.

I inhaled the chocolate mocha scent through my enchanted pillow, and sat up with a grunt. Then I rubbed my eyes through my tiredness, and admired the moonlight that was reflecting on various silver items, and the stained glass window. 

As I downed 4 pills with the water on my bedside I stole a glance at Luna Lovegood, and my face warmed. Her flowy platinum blonde hair was sprayed over her flower scented pillow, and her arms were wrapped around the big white wolf plush I got her for Valentine's. I smiled as I wrapped my fingers around the cork charm she made for me. Damn did I love that girl, since my 2nd year. However, I could never work up the courage to tell her. 

I sighed and tried to rest again, only to realize moments later that it wasn't going to happen. So I accioed my broomstick wheelchair over to my bed and slid into it. The chair hovered about 6 feet above the ground and floated over to the larger stained window. 

I looked out the window and suddenly had a taste for some hot chocolate. Though I ignored it and continued to gaze over to the forbidden forest. As I admired the school grounds I saw the flutter of big, skeletal wings. It was the thestrals. My heart swelled, and I looked at the creatures that had brought Luna and I together.

However, the warm feeling faded when I noticed one of the thestrals wings never returned to its side, and it was stomping on the ground in panic. My heart ached as I watched it thrash around in agony, as it tried to free it’s captured wings. It was a fruitless effort.

I hurriedly grabbed my wand and floated out of the dorms, and out of the common room. The best thing about my chair is that, since it was floating, it didn't make any noise. I pushed forward the toggle that moved the chair forward, and looked around the corner for Flich or Ms Norris. 

Once I realised I was in the clear, I sped down the steps, and to the entrance door. Though I had only cracked it open when I heard a cat's meows. My heart stopped, and I turned slowly on my heels. 

Ms. Norris's red eyes narrowed into mine, and I racked my brain for a solution. Though my heart began to beat even heavier when I heard Filch's footsteps coming down the moving staircase. 

Then I thought of something crazy, so crazy that it just might work. I mean, she's just a cat right? So, I thought of a cat toy, and tried to focus completely on the object I want to transform my wand into. Then, when I lifted my wand again there was a fuzzy end to it and bells. 

I shook it and the bells jingled. Ms. Norris's eyes focused on the sound and pounced at it. 

"Good kitty," I whispered as Filch's steps got closer. 

I pulled my wand back, to pretend I was going to throw it, and then flicked it forward. To my joy, she fell for it, and I quickly slipped through the big doors just as Filch was at the archway. 

I sighed in relief and pushed the toggle forward and the chair sped quickly across the grass which shimmered with dew. Past Hagrid's hut, which smelt of small flames. I noticed the lights were all off, and Hagrid's loud snores echoed through. Then into the forest where the thestrals cries where louder than ever, and more heartbreaking. 

I grabbed my wand tighter and rushed toward the cries. My heart was beating widely but the sounds of the forest edged me on. From the howls of werewolves, and the hoof thumps of centaurs, my arms were covered with goosebumps. 

But then I saw him, the poor thestral, whom since I last saw him, had been left alone by his herd. I rushed toward him, and carefully slid off my chair; opting for crawling rather than scaring him.

I approached him slowly and gingerly placed my hand on his nose, "It's okay, honey, I'm here to help." and stroked his head to calm him.

Once he had stopped thrashing and crying, I raised my wand to the vines that entangled his large wings. "Difindo!" I whispered. 

A small light shot to the vines and a couple fell to the ground. I repeated this action a few times over until his wing was free and all the vines were limp on the ground. However, before I could let him fly off, I cooed him still, and held his wing in my hands.

My heart dropped when I noticed the large gash in his wings that was bleeding a dark red. I casted the ferula spell that expertly wrapped a gawse around the wound. Then, I took a couple vines and tied them each loosely around his neck which created a makeshift leash.

So the as frogs croaked, fairies hummed, and the huge trees creaked, we walked peacefully through the forest. I continued to stroke the thestrals muzzle as I tied him to the fence on Hagrid's garden. He neighed and pawed at the ground, which I took as a sign of thanks, and rubbed his neck before I handed him a piece of raw meat from the bucket outside.  

"I'm glad you got here in time!" Exclaimed a sweet, dreamy voice that I instantly recognized. 

"Luna!" I yelled as I turned the face the pretty blonde. "What are you doing up?" 

She chuckled and I had finally noticed the multicolored patched jacket in her hands as she came closer. "I heard you leave, and when I saw what you were doing, I thought you might be cold." 

Truth be told, I hadn't given the cold a signal thought, for I was too occupied with everything else. Now, however, I have taken notice of it. My arms were spotted with goosebumps, and my nose was freezing at it's tip. I wrapped my arms around myself and meekly said, "Maybe a little smidge."

Luna shook her head with a giggle, her hair swaying beautifully with the movement, and began to walk closer to me. I reached my hand out for the jacket, but instead she slipped the sleeves on for me and fixed the collar on me. 

My face flushed as she let her dainty, princess like hands rest on my shoulders, and hoped it could be mistaken for the cold. Then she smiled with her brilliant blue eyes focused on mine. I never wanted this moment to end. I just wanted her to keep looking at me, like I was one of her day dreams that she would get lost inside. 

I couldn't help but smile at her, and before I even realize what I was doing, I placed my hands on her waist. Though, when her eyes fell to gaze at them my whole body felt like it was on fire and I quickly removed them and backed away.

"I’m so so sorry, I shouldn't have done that!” I stuttered out and twiddle my fingers with my head down. 

She giggled again, and I couldn't help but smile to myself. Her hands grabbed mine and brought me even closer to her than we were before.

"You're cute," She said so assurly with her hand now caressing my cheek. "but you don't have to be nervous around me."

"Well-" I gulped and went to hold her hips again but shyed away. "-I suppose I just get that way around certain girls."

"Yeah?" She kneeled down to my height, and her free hand rested on my thigh. "What kind of girls?" 

What was I doing? I felt nauseous, not in a sick way, but in the way of all this happiness is bubbling in my stomach, and I don't know what to do with it!

"Um well... she's- they're! No, she's-” After stuttering like an idiot, I took a deep breath and said “-she's so ethereal, like she really did come from the clouds. She’s a daydreamer, whose eyes glisten in the moonlight, and she's so very confident in who she is. She loves to draw and paint, and she believes in everything, even the impossible." 

I looked back up to her hesitantly, and swallowed my breath as I finished, “And all she has to do is look at me...and...I’m hers.” 

Luna’s eyes softened, and her body was relaxed, and at rest. Her hand on my cheek fell to my hand, which she intertwined her fingers with. Her head was down, so I couldn’t see her expression. Among those things her silky hair fell in waved that curtained her face. 

My heart was beating rapidly in my chest, and I wondered if she could feel my hand trembling in hers. My thoughts raced in a dangerous cycle of anxiety and embarrassment as I watched her think. Though, there were moments when seeing her tonight under the pearl shaped moon invaded my mind.

Like how her soft and sweet her lips must taste, or how her warm skin against mine felt like falling asleep next to a fireplace on a cold night. I recalled every adventure I imagined for us, like how much I would like to hold her in my arms, or fall asleep reading her favorite book. Oh, if only I could run away with her, I’d never look back. 

"That sounds like you were talking about me?" Her voice was so soft I barely heard it. She has slightly raised her head, just enough to see her brilliant silver eyes that flickered with worry. 

I swallowed a breath and pushed the hair that curtained her face behind her ear. How was it possible that there were stars, and moon above us; that there was a brilliant thestral behind us, and mysterious forest beside us, and yet she was more beautiful than it all. 

"Of course it's you Luna," I chuckled and cupped her jaw in my hand. "Who else could it possibly be?" 

"There's hundreds of boys and girls here, anything is possible." Luna’s eyes wandered to the ground. “Besides, I’m Looney Lovegood, and you’re...well…”

As she trailed off, I felt something spark inside me.

For a moment, I looked up to the sky and was mesmerized by all the stars. However, there was one that shined the brightest, and just like that, every thought dried. Because I realised, it was just me, Luna, and the stars.

I smiled and tilted her head a little higher, and tucked the hair hiding her face behind her ear.

“Hey, you said it first-” I brought my other hand up to cup her face. “-I’m just as sane as you.”

“And I love you, Luna, more than anything.”

Saying those words that had been trapped in my brain for 6 years felt like taking a breath of fresh air, but had no comparison to what came next.

Luna brought her hands up to pull down on the coat she gave me, pulling me centimeters from her face. One hand wandered to the back of my neck, while the other rested on my shoulder. I took a deep breath and held onto her hips, as she lifted herself on her knees.

Not a moment later, her lips were on mine.

I closed my eyes, and it felt like floating around in an empty earth with only her. I could feel her hand trailing up and down my back as our mouths pieced together like perfect puzzles. And I couldn’t help but smile everytime she hummed against my lips.

Kissing her, however, was better than I could have ever imagined. We were going slow, and her lips were light as she controlled our kiss. She tasted like birthday cake, and she smelt like the beginning of fall. 

Slowly, she began to back away, though I wanted nothing more than to keep kissing her forever. I took a second to open my eyes, but when I did, it was because Luna’s hand rested on my cheek, and her thumb caressed my bottom lip. I couldn’t help but stare at her as she did this. 

Then I placed my hand on top of hers, and turned my head just enough to kiss her hand. Then I intertwined our fingers and put our hands in my lap. 

“I love you, Luna.” I said again, though this time with my head down.

But Luna hooked her finger under my chin and brought my gaze up to her. Then she placed a short peck on my lips, rested her head on my shoulder, and whispered:

“I love you more.”

[theflashdriver]

Flowers

Decided Since I have a backlog of these I’d post some more gradually! No point in having half my hoard here, I might as well bring the whole thing! I really enjoy using nature to bring these two together, it’s probably because they’re from a place so devoid of it? Though this is an older one I hope you enjoy!

Silver was late; this was a first and Blaze couldn't help feeling concerned. She was stood before the fountain at the heart of the main island's town in the early afternoon; sun hanging high in a nearly cloudless sky, cobbled street beneath. The Princess could feel eyes upon her, her being outside the castle usually meant some kind of event; for better or worse. Oftentimes it meant some kind of invasion so understandably citizens were on edge. There were no festivities planned for today, likely further raising the townsfolk's suspicions, she'd wanted to treat her friend to lunch from a new bakery that had opened on the east side of town. She thought he'd probably enjoy sweet foods, having had so few in his destroyed future, and he'd never been late to a meeting before. She gripped her arm, tapping her foot; she'd give him just five more minutes before beginning to search. He could have gone anywhere with that power of his, any of the islands were within his reach… he might have overexerted, ran out of energy and fallen asleep on one. That was the best-case scenario at least; he could have gotten himself into some kind of trou-

"Blaze! Blaze!" She recognised his voice immediately, worry lingering in her heart she quickly turned to him but the sight wasn't nearly as cruel as she expected. He was untouched, unharmed, floating from the sky toward her with one hand waving and the other was held behind him. He landed before her, a sheepish smile on his face, "I'm sorry I'm late, I got a little distracted. I was in the forest."

He was uninjured, he'd delayed himself on accident; she was relieved yet at the same time felt a small twinge of disappointment. To break their perfect record over such a small thing, it wasn't a huge deal but she still felt some kind of disapproval. Her stance straightened, she folded her arms, "Well I'm glad you enjoyed yourself but try to keep better time. If you'd been any longer I would have set out searching for you, we might have missed this entirely." She couldn't help noticing that arm, still held behind him while the other was at his side. She tried not to stare, kept her eyes flickering between him and their surroundings.

"Oh, that makes sense. I'm really sorry, but I got you these; they just looked so pretty I couldn't just leave them there." And from behind his back Silver produced a dozen flowers bundled together, purple lilies with deep orange anther, and held them out to her. Immediately Blaze felt more eyes upon both of them, instantly Blaze felt her heat rise and went to scan Silver's face; only to see a kind smile. There wasn't a hint of embarrassment; there wasn't a touch of shyness to his face or even anticipation, no redness and no goofy expression. He looked exactly the same as he had upon arriving, now holding out a bouquet as though it were natural. She'd never known him to be this hard to read, the hedgehog wore his heart on his cuff and subtlety wasn't in his repertoire, yet he stood calm and regular having brought her a bouquet? This bordered on the unbelievable, he wasn't exactly being smooth but it showed a confidence and inclinations she'd never known from him.

She gently took the flowers, feeling the eyes of surrounding citizens weigh on her more and more with each passing second. She couldn't look him in the eyes, not with that unreadable expression on his face; she looked down to the flowers but only felt herself grow hotter and hotter. "Th-Thank you Silver, they're… they're wonderful, I had no idea you felt so strongly about this meeting. I suppose we are… I suppose this is kind of like a…" She was feeling a heat she had never felt before, overflowing with emotions; the weight of those watching crushed her but there was an additional weight in the centre of her chest, growing heavier with each passing second as she looked to the flowers. The word date hung on her tongue yet she was at a complete loss for words.

"Eh? Blaze, are you okay? You're quite red, have you got a fever or something? Is everything alright?" Her eyes snapped to him, his great golden orbs held a look of concern yet his face still wore no embarrassment? Neither fear nor even doubt in his actions, no matter how she looked at him she saw only concern for her wellbeing. He was leaning in now with a hand extended, previously this wouldn't have shocked her but with all these feelings bubbling she couldn't help but flinch slightly; "It's alright if you need to go rest, your health is more important than-

"No no! We'll go, we'll go!" She grabbed his hand with her free one, beginning to half march and half drag him toward the bakery; shoes clacking loudly on the cobbled pavement. She tried to avoid the gaze of others as she passed, almost attempting to hide her face behind the flowers. She was trying to keep her hands cool most of all, with emotions flaring like this she risked heating up too much and burning him, the flowers or both. This meant she could feel her face steaming so hot as to prompt recoil on touch. She dared to glance back to him over her shoulder and caught his eyes; she could see nothing but the usual smile and joyous light albeit with a twinge of confusion. Likely because she was leading the way quite so briskly, she willed herself to slow walking side by side with him, back to focusing on the flowers.

As she did so, still holding his hand quite tightly (her thumb overlapped his but their fingers weren't intertwined), he began to talk again. "Yeah I thought they were nice, I'm glad you like them so much. There weren't too many of them so I wanted to make sure you could see them, they're purple like you."

It was a simple statement that she usually wouldn't blink twice at but now it felt emotionally charged, like he was looking for things she'd enjoy in his everyday life. "Y-You're so naïve, don't pull up flowers for me again, it's not good for them. We'll just go see them together next time." He'd called the flowers pretty before and now he'd compared them to her fur, it was a roundabout way of calling her pretty but it stuck in Blaze's mind like a tack in her foot.

"Oh, alright sure! I've seen a bunch of places I'm sure you'd like… then again, this is your dimension… you've probably seen them all already right?" At the twinge of disappointment in his realisation her head whipped straight to him.

"No I'm sure I'd love it regardless, don't worry about whether or not I've seen anything it'll be a new experience seeing it with you." She almost stumbled over the word love but forced herself to say it, she was feeling a lot of brand new complex emotions quite suddenly. All of their prior actions were being recontextualized in her mind, from the days they'd slept together in crisis city to the smallest of hugs and hand holds all the way to her own sacrifice. Each of these actions now appeared more intimate in Blaze's eyes, a romantic context she hadn't even considered now plainly apparent.

"Oh alright well I found this cool mountain lake if you want to visit there tomorrow." Blaze felt her tail and ears shoot straight; she shot him a glance and was again met with that unreadable, regular, smile. She looked back to the flowers. This event that she was now certain he viewed as a date, and she couldn't help but do so too, wasn't even over yet he was already asking her on another? For the first time in her life she was feeling slow, Silver had completely slipped the rug from beneath her and showing an interest she had never seen before. Suddenly she felt him stop, interrupting her train of thought, his right hand reached out and touched her forehead, recoiling a little at the heat before pressing into it; "You're burning up quite a lot Blaze, are you certain you're alright? I know when you get sick the fever can be rather intense."

They were two buildings away from the bakery, Blaze let herself stop and turned to him; keeping hold of his right hand. "I'm fine Silver, I just… I didn't think you cared so much about today and I wasn't expecting the flowers. I'm fine I just wasn't prepared for all of this, I need to sort out some feelings."

"Well of course, every day with you is important to me Blaze and I thought you might like the flowers but I didn't think you'd care this much. I'm glad I picked them! If you say you're okay then let's keep going." He was still so naïve, despite turning her into this boiling mess he was still the same Silver. She felt far too embarrassed to go into this bakery and order, she wasn't sure she'd be able to get the works out; let alone flowers in hand. They finished the journey, arriving outside the bakery, and Blaze quickly spotted a nearby bench.

She released their handhold, rummaging through her pockets and producing her purse. "Just get me something for lunch, a pastry with meat or something and tea if they sell it; just milk. Get whatever you want." She didn't have the energy to give intricate instructions right now, let alone with how new Silver was to purchasing… hopefully nothing would go wrong. She lowered herself onto the bench, setting the flowers down next to her; she took a deep breath and ran a hand down her face. This was fine, she could deal with this, they'd have lunch, go their separate ways and she could figure this all out. She kept her eyes glued to the pavement, the once cold metal bench already warmed beneath her. This had come completely out of the blue, they'd been going on outings like this ever since he'd arrived in her dimension… had they all been dates? What was happening? She could feel her body slowly cooling; she was almost over this, they could have a more serious conversation about this. It was quite sudden but, by what she was feeling in her chest and thinking to their past, this love was not unrequited. She picked the flowers back up, examining them. They were already beginning to wilt a little, she'd have to get them into water quite soon if she wanted them to last through tomorrow. As she picked up the flowers, however, attempting to focus, she could feel eyes shift to her once again. She was a monarch here; her actions well known, word of her and the flowers would spread let alone Silver. She could feel her temperature begin to rise again as Silver exited the bakery, foodstuffs hovering around him and purse in hand.

She set the flowers across her legs as he returned her purse, floating her a cup as well as a paper bag. "I'm not sure if it was expensive or not but they had tea and that's a pasty I think? It has chicken in it, that's for certain." She could certainly smell it, some pepper and cheese also.

"I'm sure it will be good Silver, thank you." She would sip the tea without worrying about the temperature, gently patting the bench next to her. He lowered himself, a similar bag and paper cup floating into his hands. Blaze sat the drink beneath her, she could feel the heat spreading once again but knew she would have to act now and make things clear. He opened his bag, producing what looked and smelt to be an apple muffin of sorts… it wasn't good nutrition but as she had expected, he seemed to enjoy sweet foods. She gently looped her right arm around him… not quite his waist but lower than his shoulders, "So, have you been feeling this way for a while? I didn't know you were… I didn't think you…"

He'd taken a bite and went to talk but seemingly remembering one of the things she'd taught him he swallowed first. "Feel what way Blaze?" Almost instinctively he copied her movement, wrapping an arm around her. The heat surged, she could smell the flowers beginning to cook in her lap, there hadn't been a moment of hesitation from him; not a blink.

She took a deep breath, "…Well, you brought me flowers and I didn't realise that you were… such a romantic sort. Old fashioned even."

At that Silver's face went from the dopey happiness of eating the apple muffin, the taste perhaps a little too much for him, to purest scarlet; ears pointing high into the air. "W-W-What? Romantic? I... the flowers?"

Blaze blinked twice, suddenly the heat within her was vanishing and a cold taking its place. "Yes, the flowers. The kind people bring on dates and give to their loved ones… it's a romantic thing."

Silver's eyes widened, she could feel him trembling against her; "I…I didn't know that flowers. Meant that, I just thought they were pretty and purple like you and-

"I see." She brought her hand back, looking down at the pasty. The heat had vanished and with it so had the hunger she had been feeling. Her breath slowed, she hadn't considered that this might be an option. Silver was from the future, a destroyed future of another world no less. It was always possible that he had no idea what this gesture meant, what any of his gestures might have meant. Now she was left with their history contextualised by romantic inclinations unreturned, a cold and empty feeling in her chest to replace the bubbling warmth she had been feeling. The flowers on her legs were no longer burning but a small smoke wisp billowed up from them.

And yet his hand was still lingering on her side, she turned to him with her brows furrowed only to find his eyes were closed; his redness remained across his face. "I-I guess I-I should… I want to?" He squeaked, still shaking quite a lot. "I-I didn't mean anything by the flowers but that d-doesn't mean I don't… uhm…" He was positively squirming now, feet crossing and uncrossing constantly. "I guess I… I think I would… I'm…"

She felt the warmth spread in her chest again, he was acting far more like she'd expected when he'd first gifted the flowers. He hadn't said anything of significance and yet there was already a blush on his face, he was struggling to meet her eyes and with every second word there was a shift based in a deeply set uncertainty. His left hand was on his knee with the right still coiled around her, it seemed to be taking the sum total of his will to maintain this loose grasp. Blaze could read him completely. She took a deep breath and returned her arm around him; this time around his waist. "If you're not ready to have this talk that's fine, we've… we've opened the door on this. We don't have to go through it yet if you're not prepared." She was taking the lead; yes this was far closer how she'd imagined things might go on those quiet nights. "After today a lot of new thoughts have been brought to the forefront of my mind, I think I would like to but there's no reason to rush this."

Silver seemed to have relaxed a little bit at that, taking a few breaths and a second to think; "I… I need to do some research, have I done things like this before? Like the flowers before? I-I mean if we were going to be like… together together, I-I'd have to do more right?"

"Well." Blaze nodded to the hand around her side. "Our relationship has always been closer than is typical. I'm not certain how much things would really change." She was still far from regular, redness to her cheeks and a heat still present, but she had calmed down enough to explain these things to him. "Bringing me flowers, while in some ways a step up, is generally a step down from the closeness we shared in that city. It's just more… blatant than past actions, I believe would be how to phrase it."

"R-Right… okay. Alright, I think I can do this." She felt the grip around her side tighten a little, there was less shaking but he was thoroughly reddened. "I-I'll get some books, I'll figure out what I should be doing a-and-

"You're doing fine Silver, if you want to research I won't stop you but this was… this was pretty good. You were romantic and sweet without even intending to be." Blaze took a sip of her tea; while she was enjoying this they couldn't let the food go cold. Soon she'd be back to her station, Gardon might scold her for being late as it was. She took a bite of the pasty, sipped some tea but it was clearly still a little too hot for him but he fought through it. She knew eyes were still upon them, but now that it was clearer how he felt she could relax slightly. She tried to make idle conversation, pry through the awkwardness; " So, you've been enjoying your time here then, visiting natural places. I suppose it's a nice change."

Silver nodded, only a little of his muffin left already; "I-I have been enjoying it, I think it's nice to see so many different coloured things; everything's so vibrant." A light had returned to his eyes, cutting through the embarrassment; "I think I love it here, there are so many happy people and of course you're here and we're back together and things are just… things are nice now."

"I'm glad," She smiled, having finished her meal. "We'll part ways, for now, I'm sure Gardon's worried, but I should have more time tomorrow. We could prepare and go to that lake if you wanted?"

"O-Of course! Yeah, there's tons of stuff up there I want you to see and you might know some other paths and… y-yeah sure!" His hand gently left her side as he finished the muffin, drink still in hand, hers retracted from his waist as she disposed of the remains in a nearby bin.

She nodded to him; "Well, same time and place tomor-

His hand had grasped hers, there was redness clear to his face but he was looking at the pavement. Fingers were interlocked; his thumb had snuck beneath hers. The light of his symbol pulsing was obvious, even in the daylight. "W-We didn't do much, so can I walk you back to the-

"Yes, yes of course!" The heat was back in full force, slightly melted flowers in her right hand and Silver holding her left. She couldn't help releasing an initial warmth through her palms, cringing slightly, but he fought through it as her hand quickly cool. They'd slowly make their way back to the castle; at least she wasn't alone in her embarrassment this time.

[titanicfreija]

Sunny is excited, Ghost and Rex are not as loud about it but they're waiting their turns anyway.

(I don't have followers, so I just answer all of them cos I wanna)

Sunny

1. I helped her pick it out, but she picked the book we got it from.

2. I was really uncomfortable with it, and I still don't like it, and I'm relieved that she doesn't like it either.

3. I want the bunny shell SO BAD but we haven't gotten it, yet. We'll get there!

4. Third question first, yes, a little. Mostly because of the first question's answer-- I looked FOREVER, it felt like a million years! I was looking on Earth until the Red War. I always thought maybe my Guardian wasn't dead, yet? But then after the war and so many casualties, I didn't feel any closer to finding my guardian, and I was so disappointed I just left. For the second question, it was a fortunate accident. I found her half-buried in a cave on the Reef. It was said that the dead on the Reef were in the cursed loop, but this one wasn't one of the Queen's, I think she died long before that. It was like her bones sang to me, to let me know she was in the cave, cos I was just floating right past it. I know that's a little weird.

5. I got sleepy and lonely. I know I wasn't, but just something was closed off and it felt empty and sad.

6. Once. We spent kind of a stupid amount of time running around on the Moon, messing with the Hive and hunting Nightmares. And it wasn't really anyone's fault, we were doing our usual things, I was being a flashlight and Freija was searching for momentos for Eris, and this huge ass Knight appeared behind us and he cleaved Freija's head so hard it busted her helmet. She ran away fast enough that I could fix her helmet, but he still hit us again before we could get out. He knocked her down and grabbed me in his hand, and he was squeezing and I could feel him sucking the Light out of me when Freija blasted him in the head six times. And it really took six shotgun blasts. It was terrifying.

7. I like to talk to her about what's going on in the Tower while she's cleaning her guns, we both like to hang out and watch the sky pretty much anywhere. She's a good listener. I like helping look up information about... Anything, really.

8. I love her so very much, and she's my best friend and I think I would say that even if I didn't feel her calling me from the moment I was me. She's brave and strong and tough, and sometimes she's mean or rude or brutish. I'm very happy to be her ghost.

9. Freija's is Solar. Me...? Probably void, but solar is close second.

10. It that became Many. Honestly, I've felt so cut off since we broke up (ha), the only thing worse was being suppressed.

11. Absolutely! I've never doubted. (I've had some trepidation on what she was becoming, but I've never had to worry long.)

12. I like the red cloth drapes over the top of the bazaar arbor in particular.

Rex

1. No

2. I don't care what he uses. At this point, I'd be happy to see some ambition. (I kinda like stasis. It's... Minty.)

3. I like the Hunter guardian games shell, but I use the Warlock one.

4. A while. I gave up looking for a long time, and I found him by chance. I wasn't jealous, just confused.

5. Cold

6. No

7. I just like it when he stops being useless. I like watching him in the lab and helping in the field, but these days he just sits around theory crafting about the Traveler on the couch

8. Thomas is a lazy good-for-nothing who spends way too much time thinking and not nearly enough time doing. He's embarrassing.

9. Personally, void.

10. It's the REAL guardian of humanity.

11. I. Just. He's got SO MUCH POTENTIAL IF HE WOULD JUST TRY-- yes, I would, but that's a really soft yes.

12. The hangar on the walkways above the ships.

Ghost

1. No

2. Kinda. I don't like it, but I'm practical enough to get over it.

3. Just a basic, simple shell for me, maybe with little patterns. I do like to play with shaders.

4. Not long at all. We both got lucky there. It was only a surprise because of how soon it happened, we hardly knew what Risen were.

5. Oh that sucked so so much

6. Yes! Kind of a lot, depending on where you wanna draw the line at "almost". In situations where it was likely, but not imminent, like every other year. Plain, only-survived-by-luck-and-quick-thinking, several times, with Three scraping us out of a narrow spot.

7. We like to listen to music together, and we play board games

8. Three is my Guardian. She means a lot to me, and I want to keep her safe, and she protects me.

9. Solar

10. It's... Been... Complicated.

11. Yes. I like her. She's had some moments, but we've only had a few interpersonal rifts.

12. The Annex in the fountain.

Questions for Ghosts!

A Guardian would be nothing without their Ghost.

1. Did you name your Guardian?

2. Would you be against your Guardian wielding Darkness? If they already do, what’s your opinion on that?

3. Do you have a favourite shell? Where did you get it, if you have it?

4. How long did it take you to find your Guardian? Were you surprised when you did find them? Were you ever jealous of Ghosts who found their Guardian before you?

5. What did it feel like during the Red War, to have your Light suppressed?

6. Have you ever almost been killed? What happened?

7. What things (outside of missions) do you like to do with your Guardian?

8. Describe your Guardian and what they mean to you!

9. Do you have a favourite out of Solar, Void and Arc?

10. How do you view the Traveller?

11. Would you still choose to resurrect your Guardian, knowing who they are now and what they’ve become?

12. What’s your favourite place in the city?