#there are actually a lot of cool and fun and chill MLs

[txttletale]

You’re pretty okay for an ML

putting this on my fridge

[hugheses]

Get to Know...Luke Hughes | ICEBREAKERS

Matt Loughlin: We’re going to play a little bit of a game of Icebreakers with Luke Hughes, and Luke, we appreciate you allowing us to ask you some of the off-the-wall questions. Ready to have some fun?

Luke Hughes: Yeah, thanks.

ML: All right, we're gonna get to know a little bit more about you. So, who's the most famous person you ever met? And how did you meet him or her?

LH: That's a really tough question. I have no idea off the top of my head, I don't know, I think Sidney Crosby is pretty famous, right? So maybe him.

ML: Sidney Crosby, he fits the bill, that's for sure. If you had to eat a crayon, what color would it be?

LH: Probably wouldn't eat any of them, but probably blue.

ML: What game show do you think you could win?

LH: What's the one where you pick the boxes? And answer a question. It's like 500...

ML: Yeah, Jeopardy, maybe? Is that it?

LH: Yeah, that one.

ML: Especially if you get a daily double, because you could bang that out and pick up pick up a lot of money there. So name one movie that you've seen and you think should have a sequel.

LH: The Other Guys

ML: What's the first thing you thought about when you woke up this morning?

LH: I thought my alarm went off. So, I had to turn that off.

ML: Is a hot dog a sandwich?

LH: No.

ML: Would you rather be a superhero or the world's best chef?

LH: Superhero, easily.

ML: Why is that?

LH: It would be way cooler.

ML: Would you rather compete in the Olympics or direct a movie that was nominated for an Oscar?

LH: Compete in the Olympics.

ML: Kind of figured you’d go with that! What's something that you've always wanted to do but haven't done it yet? And how come?

LH: I haven't been to Paris or Italy, which would be cool. Probably go there.

ML: What's a book that you're currently reading?

LH: Not reading any books right now, but I actually have one I'd like to start, probably should start.

ML: That's alright, fair enough. We'll find out a little later on what it's all about. If you had an extra hour per day, what would you do with it?

LH: Honestly, probably just chill.

ML: Are you a spicy or sweet guy when it comes to food?

LH: Sweet.

ML: What's your favorite pizza topping?

LH: Pepperoni.

ML: What's your favorite type of ice cream?

LH: It changes but probably like, mint chocolate chip or like cookie dough, moose tracks.

ML: Let's not forget those, I’m a big moose tracks guy myself. Alright, so if you had to live in a video game, which one would you choose?

LH: Probably Fortnite, that would be cool. 

ML: If you could be any animal, what would it be?

LH: Maybe like an eagle?

ML: Listen, eagles soar above the world and look down and be aggressive and you know…

LH: You get to fly…

ML: Yeah, exactly. Do you have any secret talents?

LH: Yeah, I'm actually a pretty good pool player.

ML: Alright, and the last one, aside from answering silly Icebreaker questions, do you have a pet peeve?

LH: I have like little ones, but I don't know if they're big enough to say on here, there's nothing really. Yeah, I don't really have anything.

ML: Fair enough. Luke, thanks very much for your time.

LH: Thank you!

[ilikekidsshows]

I don’t have fandom friends so I’m coming in ur ask box with this hope you don’t mind. Basically adrien was my favorite character ever. ML my longest fandom fixation, and I never really shipped anything before lovesquare. now it’s like a gaping hole from betrayal. I don’t find new favorites easily and I’m terrible at watching tv, I never finish series. Plus I’ve never been a writer, it scares me,I don’t have that faith in my ability. if i could start a new creative phase that would be amazing. I don’t know how or to make friends on tumblr.

do you have any recommendations or advice?

Hello! Okay, don't take this as definite correct answers for everything ever, but I've been around the fandom and creative block a few times, so I'll just share my experiences and maybe something there will be of use to you.

I’m going to say this about writing: your work is always going to look like a work in progress to you, because it’s your work and you saw the entire process of creating it. My advice is to pick something you really like and be as self-indulgent about it as possible. If you’re having fun writing it, it matters less if others don’t like it. However, there’s a big chance that those who do like it will like it for the same reasons that you do, that they’ll like the same things you do in general and you can have some fun conversations about those things.

As for how to make friends on tumblr, you’re kind of already doing a part of it. Interact with people. Make contact. Ask questions, state your own opinions and keep doing those things. My tumblr friendships are based very much on sending prompts for ask games and responding to posts made by people I think are cool. The ask game thing is a good tip for determining who to try this with too. If they reblog a lot of ask games, that means they want to be sent asks and be interacted with, otherwise they wouldn’t invite people to do so.

Now for the recommendations: I don't watch many romance-focused shows, but I do watch a lot of superhero shows and I have a preference for strong character dynamics, especially found families and friendships, so I have some recommendations I think might work. I'll give some details about how they're similar to Miraculous and the biggest differences in case you're looking for something very similar in a particular way.

Ultimate Spider-Man: I made an entire post series about how this show has the exact same energy as Miraculous. It's very kid-friendly, a more humorous take on a hero who often comes with a lot of emotional baggage, and Peter will not chill about his bestie Harry. The main difference is that big parts of the series are a bit more like the New York Special in that Spider-Man spends a lot of episodes meeting different Marvel universe heroes. The show is kind of a crash course on the big names of Marvel in addition to being a Spider-Man show.

Spectacular Spider-Man: This one is more romance-focused with some love triangle drama and secret identity hijinks. The target audience clearly veered more towards older viewers and it ended before its time so it doesn’t really have a satisfying conclusion. Although most shows on this list don’t really have a definitive ending, this show has a flagrant: “come join us for the next season (that never came)!” vibe. This is generally seen as the most high-quality Spider-Man show.

Teen Titans: Fun superhero team show with an actual main couple. On the other hand, it doesn’t really do anything with secret identities and the romance is only focused on sporadically. The team dynamics are really varied with the kids on the team all having different personalities that mesh and clash in different ways.

X-Men Evolution: Romance and high school hijinks with superhero action. This is a team show like Teen Titans, but actually has a double life thing going on. The show clearly telegraphs to you who the final couples will be, even if the way getting there might have some drama along the way. Far more focus on things to do with school than the other recs on this list. Not really secret identity hijinks since all the heroes and villains know who each other are; it’s the normal students who are being kept in the dark, so it’s more of a “don’t let anyone know this different aspect of the world exists” secrecy thing.

Danny Phantom: A Spider-Man clone with ghosts. This one also telegraphs who the main couple will be in episode one, but there isn’t really much development there, so the characters spend a lot of time focusing on other stuff. Like X-Men Evolution, this one also has more focus on school stuff, although with the whole “superheroics make school even harder for an awkward teen” angle. Some secret identity hijinks with Danny trying to keep his ghost-hunting family in the dark about his ghost powers, but his best friends are in on it from the get-go.

Batman Beyond / Batman of the Future: So, funny story: this team got told: “make a Batman show where he goes to high school” for relatability points, and their solution was: “a new Batman goes to high school in a cyberpunk dystopian future and gets mentored by the original”. This show is a sequel to the Batman the Animated Series, but you don’t need to have seen that show to follow this one, since it’s set so far in the future. Just having a concept of Batman and his usual supporting cast will do. Terry has secret identity hijinks, gets stuck between two girls, neither of whom he feels understands him fully, and saves the day from some pretty creepy villains. This one is definitely for an older audience because, as I just stated, the singular episodes can get creepy.

Kim Possible: This is a banger of a girl power show. The main premise is “Kim Possible: she can do anything. Ron Stoppable: he can’t.” Kim’s sidekick is her main love interest even if they take forever getting there and, despite his sidekick status, Ron is treated with a lot of respect as a character by the writers. He frequently gets his own focus episodes and he’s allowed to have opinions that go against Kim’s and this aspect of them is really showcased in how different they can be. Even so, you never question whether or not these two adore the heck out of each other even while they’re still trying to keep their relationship platonic. No actual super powers or secret identities, but there is some drama with trying to schedule your civilian life around your hero one.

W.I.T.C.H.: This show has peak “guy who starts off as strictly the love interest suddenly becomes a major player in the plot” development in addition to having another guy who’s there for the action from the get-go while also having a major romance arc with one of the main girls. In addition the girl team gets secret identity hijinks with their families and friends although they all know each other’s secret identities. Gets more serialized in season two, like the comic it’s based on, but each episode still has a bunch of meat to it.

Winx Club: This show is a bit more of a changeling fantasy story than a superhero story, but the main characters do need to save the day a lot and even start to view themselves as heroes the more the series goes on. The main point is the main lead having a Normal Teenage Girl perspective in a magical school. She and her friends basically all get their own romance arcs, all with different flavors so there’s something for everybody. Each season has a self-contained story that gets concluded by the end, but the quality of said stories decreases from season four onward (kinda like another show), so I recommend watching only seasons 1-3.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: This pick is mostly if romance is not a key factor. It doesn’t matter which one you pick; there’s barely any. The focus is on family first and foremost. But, the thing about this franchise is that it’s been relaunched so many times and the different versions are so different that there’s a high chance of there being a version for everybody. The 87 cartoon is kid friendly, until the edgy retooling that was panned and the 2003 cartoon is grittier until the lighter-toned retooling that was panned (almost like you shouldn’t mess with a working formula). Fortunately you can skip the seasons that don’t work, because of the “and the adventure continues” nature of Turtles shows; there is never a conclusive ending. The 2012 show is a zany CGI cartoon and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the most anime-esque with Studio Trigger-like action scenes.

Power Rangers: @infinitysgrace and @chronicallylatetotheparty keep telling me early Miraculous and Power Rangers have a lot in common, so I’m downloading Mighty Morphin Power Rangers as we speak. Can’t say much more than that yet.

My tip for not wanting to deal with shows letting you down: wait until you can be reasonably sure of what the show is going for before you get into it. The thing about Miraculous though is that season four was a retooling of the series so it introduced some pretty bad curveballs that few people saw coming. Of course, that’s why my recommendation list is full of shows that have already concluded. Sometimes works that are already finished are better because the drama has already passed and you can check beforehand if you should be concerned about a particular character’s treatment in the show.

[aliensunflower-fics]

In Defense of Salt AND Sugar: Aka ML Fandom pls chill out.

So I don’t talk much as those who follow me will say I tend to just stick to myself and my own things. HOWEVER, Ive gotten a lot of asks about why I write both Salt and Sugar for Miraculous Ladybug.

The short answer: Both salt and sugar are valid, fun, intriguing things to read and write and the point of writing is to entertain and be entertained.

The long answer: Salt isn’t inherently someone hating on your fav show and sugar isn't someone necessarily giving it a free pass either. Ya’ll are just dramatic as hell.

The LONGER answer:

I write salt because I LIKE Miraculous Ladybug, BUT the show has not lived up to its potential AT ALL. The show could be so much better and the characters are so flawed or full of holes that occasionally I feel FRUSTRATED and mad!

I hate that Alya a character who I was so excited about, gets shafted ignored, sidelined, or written like a jerk! She could have been this great detective working alongside her friend to unmask the villain, but instead she often comes across as pushy, obsessed with Ladynoir or Adrinette, and so damn easily tricked. Not to mention how when shes not gushing over her ‘ships’ shes pushed to the side and ignored. [or you know... LILA]

I hate that Marinette’s crush makes her do things that are so cringy and awkward i feel ill I hate that she’s constantly the only one making mistakes and ‘learning lessons’ when the show has all these other great characters that could use the spotlight and be the ones learning lessons. I hate that she’s so jealous and that she cant ever seem to catch a break as if the show is punishing her constantly.

I HATE that Adrien is a mary sue, how the writers say hes perfect and treat him as such, I hate that he gets to guilt Marinette into fixing everything and dealing with bullies, I wanted a funny, Ron Stoppable, naive boy who learns about real friendships and grows into a great partner. Instead he gets to be pushy and downright a jerk as Chat Noir ignoring his responsibilities, guilting Ladybug with his feelings, never taking no as an answer. He’s not a good role model for kids.

I hate that Chloe got built up to have a redemption arc several times only for the writers to decide that Chloe a teenage girl who needs some serious therapy [and actual reasonable punishment for her actions] is worse than Gabriel child abuse Agreste. She could have been a great lesson on compassion and growth and dealing with your own pain without hurting others. Instead the writers wrote her off completely.

And dont get me started on how the show treats Nino, Kagami, Luka and the rest of the cast. They may as well be a backdrop for the forced love square that we NEVER get a break from. Seriously I’m a sucker for romance but does it need to be EVERY damn episode?! Can’t we just get some wholesome friendship between everyone including Adrien and Marinette at this point like COME ON.

And i’m not even touching on the white washing, awful lessons on responsibility and forgiveness, awful lessons on well so much other stuff really, the guilt trips, the teacher, the fact that she show could be used to teach kids how to better handle negative emotions and the importance of open communication and not keeping quiet about injustice and/or your feelings but instead decided that the main priority should be a love square that gets force fed to us EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.

My point is the show has FLAWS. That doesn’t mean its the worse show ever and it doesn’t mean its not fun, and has a great premise and characters, and so when I write Salt I write it because i’m frustrated! Im frustrated with the show, with the characters, with the writing and so I vent that out with salt I write those characters as their worst selves because I cant stand how the show has decided to treat them and Im ANGRY and disappointed.

It feels good to write salt and to read it. It’s nice to see characters get called out for bad behavior, its nice to read about Adrien not getting the girl. Its nice to occasionally indulge in salt because it validates that the show is flawed and lets you get out that frustration.

BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE

Miraculous Ladybug is a lovely show. It’s a show that decided to give little girls a FEMALE HERO. And not just as a side kick or background character! No they made her the protagonist! Its so important to me that little girls see good well rounded female characters in media.

And even if the show is clumsy about it they are TRYING to build an expansive lore that tickles the theorist brain. And gets people invested in the world.

The show also made Marinette shy, and awkward, and clumsy something a lot of girls deal with during puberty as growing up can literally make you clumsier as your body adjusts. Having a character who tries to be positive and tries to find solutions who solves things with creativity instead of pure violence. Thats LOVELY for young girls to see.

Growing up I loved and admired Kim Possible, and probably would have loved Marinette, even if the shows not perfect I can admit its trying and I can see why people love it as much as they do! And why they write these fluffy sugary fics its the reason I WRITE fluffy sugary things.

Because even though I am frustrated and angry and disappointed with the show, I still see Alya’s potential and how great she is as representation to little girls who want a black female superhero so I write fluff where Alya’s loyalty, compassion, cleverness and her pursuit of justice are center stage.

I see how Adrien could be better and I want him to be better and I WANT him to be the naive funny comic relief the Ron Stoppable to Marinette’s Kim Possible. I want Adrien to grow and learn and spit in his dad’s face I want him to overcome the abuse and be happy. To show people that neglect and abuse doesn’t mean you will get stuck like that forever, that you can overcome that and be a better kinder person.

I want Nino and Kagami, and Luka and Chloe and the class to grow and get attention and have funny moments I want to laugh and make other people laugh! So I write prompts focused around comedy and shenanigans and where the characters get to be fun and silly and make decisions for themselves!

SO IN CONCLUSION:

I write salt AND sugar. I see the value and merit in both sides of the coin, and I respect how other people see the show. I know its easy to get angry with other people in the fandom who see the show differently then you do but please can we put down the weapons and just BREATHE.

Someone who writes salt might LOVE the same show as you, and they might in fact love it so much that they vent their frustrations in angst and salt and cracky fics. Let them vent about how they wish the show was better, leave their tags alone or block them if you cant stand to see it. But dont attack salt writers for ‘hating on your show’ when they might love it just as much as you do but want a way to vent out their feelings.

On the flip someone who writes sugar might NOT be forgiving the show for its flaws, they might see all the same flaws as you but decide to take that frustration and write fluff and fix it fics and sugar because they want to indulge in a version of their favorite show where everything is just... OK. Where everyone is well written and happy and the character development sticks. Stay out of their tags let them have their sugar, they aren't writing it to hurt you just like you don't write salt to hurt them.

So ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each others tags. Let people write SALT if they feel angry and vengeful and disappointment, let them have their tags, let them explore the dark side of the characters, let them rant and rave and be HURT when the characters they love upset them with their actions. Its not your place to tell them to stop, to tell them their feelings are invalid, to tell them that ‘adrien is sweet sunshine boy how dare you’ or ‘alya would never’ or ‘i hate your marinette leaves dupont au’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

AND ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each other tags. Let people write SUGAR if they just want something to feel happy about. Let them makes coffee shop au’s, let them make fix it fics where everything is just happy without needing 8 pages of backstory for why everything is just happy. Let them squeal and gush and talk about the ship they like and the fluff they see. Its not your place to argue with them that the show is flawed, its not cool to ruin their fun by accusing them of not understanding the flaws, to tell them ‘umm actual this character shouldn’t get to be happy’ or ‘wow this is so shallow’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

PS: Now with that said and done. I do have one final message for everyone - If you write/enjoy pedophilia, if you sexualize KIDS. Then get the fuck out of fandom spaces, stop fucking following me, and do everyone salt and sugar a favor by LEAVING. Your pedophilia and child sexualization aint wanted, aint ok, and I will fight you.

PSS: IF YOU HATE WHAT IVE SAID ABOUT SUGAR AND SALT FINE OK I RESPECT YOU REGARDLESS. ENJOY THE SHOW, STAY CLASSY, DONT HURT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale’s Top Ten: Favorite ML Characters

Similar to my Least Favorite list, I am going STRICTLY by how I enjoy the person’s character in Canon only.  This is also my opinion, so Odds are you won't agree exactly with my list. and it does get a bit rambley

Let me know what your favorite characters are, I would love to hear about them.

_____________________________________________________________________

10. Juleka Couffaine:

Interestingly While her Brother made the other list, Juleka is a character I find very interesting. She gets a lot of funny quips and comments which you wouldn't expect from the quiet girl. She is actually one of the class that I find has an interesting character, she wants to model, but is lacking in confidence and finds herself in situations where she is photographed badly. She has anxiety but she still tries to live her dreams. She is a supportive Girlfriend Friend to Rose, a trust worthy member of the Help Mari bag Adrien club, and also just adorable. I love seeing her on screen and her akuma, while interesting in design has quite an interesting performance that is always fun to enjoy. Heck, the producers of the show used her Akuma THREE TIMES in season 3. She is a rocker girl with a soft side, and she actually helps give Luka a good chunk of his personality (so there is so MAJOR points for that.

9. Alya Cesaire / Rena Rouge:

Marinette’s blogger best friend and Fox Heroine of Paris. Alya has a lot of personality. Dedicated to finding the truth and being a good Wingwoman to Marinette. Alya does have a few faults, where she gets carried away in whatever catches her interest and sometime pushes Marinette in scenarios that can be considered Awkward, but she always has the best intentions and will fight for her friend. Now A LOT of people have recently become very bold with their feelings of negativity towards the girl, (salty fans) And I know an au or two have not been kind to her (one in particular that came out during Oblivio comes to mind). But I am not judging on Fandom criteria or salty au’s. I like Alya’s character and I can't wait to see more.

8. Lê Chiến Kim / King Monkey

The energetic Athlete who may be a bit slow on the uptake, but always down for a dare. He is the embodiment of endearing and he always makes me laugh when on screen. I just love how much energy he has. He is a dork and he doesn't give a damn what you say. One of the few characters that got even better in season 3, I love this monkey boy and his wonderful antics. Nothing more to it except, only he would bring a swimsuit in a train.

7. Max Kante / Pegasus

Our robot making class genius got a heck of an upgrade during season 3. His character shining like a diamond. He rocks his transformation, his relationship with his mom, best robo bud Markov, and his dynamic with the jock bro Kim are all wonderful. He gains mad respect for Marinette and I just love how he plays off of everyone. The boy is smart and has a way of getting a few good moments in pretty much any episode.

6. Alix Kubdel both Present and Future:

Whether she is a roller blading graffiti artist with some cute sarcasm or a time lord that is simply trying to correct history, Alix is a character I enjoy seeing on screen at any interval. I think if I HAD to pick, I lean towards present Alix, because I find her much funnier, plus her dynamic with EVERYONE is great, I was especially loving her bits with her bff Nathanael. but Bunnyx has me curious on a LOT of things regarding the future. Though her reveal did mean that adults got no time limit on powers seems like a cop out, but if the price is seeing Bunnyx then its Time well spent.

5. Kagami Tsurugi/ Ryuuko:

Okay, I know there are a lot of people that are not a fan of Kagami. You are wrong, but that is your opinion. Kagami is easily one of the most interesting characters in Miraculous ladybug. She is a mirror (like her name implies) of both Adrien and Marinette. She reflects the feelings Adrien has, growing up with a controlling parent with hardly any free time that enjoys fencing and just wants to make friends. She reflects Marinette’s crush on Adrien, both seeing him as the sweet guy underneath and not for shallow reasons. Kagami’s confidence paralleling Marinette’s when she is driven. Kagami can also be hilariously awkward and really wants to make friends. Her time as Ryuuko is also a delight to see. Now I know some people are all complaining that her characterization is inconsistent, and honestly, I don't see it. Kagami has always been an intense person, when she wants something, she goes for it, even if she is unsure of how things will turn out (her feelings for Adrien) or how to go about it (Trying to make friends with Marinette) She is honest to the letter and I think that is something very admirable.

4. Nino Lahiffe / Carapace

GIVE HIM MORE SCREEN TIME!

Nino is Adrien’s best bro. Nino goes out of his way to be supportive and caring for Adrien. The boy got akumatized because he was pissed at Adrien’s dad for NOT letting his son celebrate his birthday! Nino is so loyal, both as a bff or as a BF. He is a caring older brother and a cool superhero. The Dj/ Film director wannabe is a chill and fun dude that Totally deserves Wayzz (More then another turtle I know *Cough* Cough*)

I honestly can't find a single thing to dislike about Nino, he is just such a good dude. Sure he can be a bit of a foot in mouth guy, and can be a bit naive on somethings, but he is such a bro you can't help but love him.

3. Plagg

It Physically hurts me that I can't put him higher on this list. The two in the main spot are just in Leagues of their own. Plagg is the most developed Character in the series and I will FIGHT ANYONE on that. Plagg starts out as selfish and only caring about cheese but becomes a friend and Confidant to Adrien. He cares about his blond son and wants to see that boy happy and safe. He does know the rules and if he knows Adrien is not doing the right thing (i.e. trying to be another hero when he is chat noir) he will call him out on it. But Plagg also encourages Adrien’s teen rebellion, such as when he was so proud of Adrien sneaking out to go to London with his class. Plagg is the perfect Kwami for Adrien and his jokes and Banter is the best part of the show’s comedy. I love this little entity of destruction and I want more of him.

2. Adrien Agreste / Chat noir

Honestly Numbers one and two are interchangeable, but I think Adrien fits perfectly as the second spot on the list. I love how compassionate and caring he is. Adrien is an interesting character. In season 1 you would find that Adrien and Chat noir were pretty much opposites, Adrien was calm, obedient, composed, almost formal, while Chat noir was wild, flirty, impulsive, rebellious and a wisecracker. Both forms maintain his need to help others and his passionate love for his friends and his Lady. 

Adrien/ Chat noir’s dynamic with Marinette/ Ladybug is always a delight to see, changing depending on which side is being seen. The flirty chat with Ladybug, the sweet love struck Adrien with Ladybug, The cocky yet caring Chat with Marinette, and the Sweet caring friend Adrien to Marinette. The love square allows for exploration of their character and I wish we could have seen it better utilized. Chat noir loves Ladybug, even if she doesn't love him the same way, he still fights by her side and will do anything for her. (a few minor bumps, but hey it happens, he is allowed a few hiccups)

As the series goes on, Adrien starts acting more rebellious, starts joking more, even a bit more flirty, he starts becoming more comfortable with himself and others, he even lets himself be selfish at times. He cares about others and he is afraid of being locked away alone. His fear of being alone has made him very naive and trusting of others, willing to overlook behavior to an extent, with the exception that it doesn't hurt anyone he cares about. (Lila being someone that has crossed this line, and seeing Adrien actually being intimidating for once.) Is he flawed? Yes. That what I love about him, he is portrayed at this perfect model, but that is more of a mask then Chat noir, and Adrien is slowly peeking out and I can't wait to see him shatter it completely. 

1. Marinette Dupain Cheng /Ladybug

What can I say about this lovable daughter of mine?

She is without a doubt one of the best teen hero main characters I have ever seen. (And I am taking Kim Possible Level, Danny Phantom level) 

Marinette is creative, caring, compassionate, competent, clumsy, competitive, considerate, and a bunch more C words that mean good things. She is a top notch designer, guardian in training, and all she wants is to win over her crush, who she doesn't know is in love with her alter ego.

Marinette has a LOT going for her and I enjoy how she overreacts and I find myself relating to her in a lot of ways. Though she is worlds more competent then I will ever be, and she is 14.

Marinette also takes the weight of the world on her shoulders, always having to plan ahead, always having to be ready, and now she is the guardian.

I can talk on and on about how amazing she is and how interesting her flaws are, but I feel so many other people have talked about that to death. I will simply say that she is very likable.

She gets the audience to WANT her to succeed, she is so selfless that you feel for her everytime something doesn't go well for her. The season 3 finale felt Like LITTERAL Knives in my back seeing how much unnecessary pain she was in, all because of something that really wasn't her fault. (I am still salty about the finale) I really want her to be happy, and I hope she and Adrien do get together in season 4. Or I will be flying over to Paris and Punching EVERY PERSON writer at Zagtoon. INCLUDING a punch to Thomas so hard his non-existent grandkids will hear it.

Back on target.

Marinette is a delight and I am glad Miraculous ladybug exists because it introduced us to an amazing Heroine and Character.

[inkjackets]

30 Questions About Me

thanks for tagging me @apopcornkernel and @authenticcadence18!!!

Name: clare

Gender: cis female

Star sign: virgo

Height: 168cm (5′6″)

Time: 9:40pm

Birthday: 8th september

Fave band/group: hmm i don’t really have favs but recently i’ve been listening to a lot of Oh Wonder and ANIMA!

Fave solo artists: again no real favs but right now i’m loving dodie and mxmtoon

Song stuck in my head: ah now i’ve mentioned mxmtoon i’ve got ‘no faker’ stuck in my head haha

Last movie: uhhhh either the muppets christmas carol or the greatest showman, can’t remember which was last, but im literally about to watch the live action mulan for reasons

Last show: Normal People

When did I create this blog: uhhhh hold up lemme check... April 2016! ugh i’ve been in this fandom too long aha

What do I post: mostly ml reblogs and stuff but i write and post fics too! (especially over the last year, i think i wrote more last year than the previous three years combined lmao) i also post the odd bit of art :) 

Last thing I googled: uh how to work out averages in excel haha (i’m trying to track my writing progress this year)

Other blogs: @inkjackets-original​!! this is a blog for my original short stories and pieces of flash fiction :D

Do I get asks: yeah sometimes! especially when I reblog ask games or ask for fic requests, i’ll always get a couple <3

Why I chose this url: so back in the year 2016 i fell stupidly hard into a stupid show called Miraculous Ladybug and through it i discovered FANFICTION (i’d like obvs heard of it before, but never engaged with it) and anyway after a while reading amazing fics i discovered to my horror/delight that i wanted to WRITE IT TOO sooooo i decided to create a tumblr! and since this was intended to be a sort of writing blog i wanted to come up with a writing/book related username and came up with inkjackets – after all books are just pages of ink wrapped in dust jackets! (though like i said before until last year i never actually did much writing lol)

Following: 802

Followers: 415 <3

Average amount of sleep: anywhere between 6-10, it changes daily 

Lucky number: i don’t really have one? i usually just say 7. or 13 if i’m feeling controversial hahaha

Instruments: i don’t really play anything :( but i like to sing! i’m nothing special but i’ve always been a part of school choirs and stuff :) 

What I’m wearing: thick long-sleeved stripy top and dungarees

Dream job: ah a question i still hate at the age of 25 (: i seriously have no idea!! part of me wants to be an author and have a chill time writing in the countryside all day, but i also love being outdoors and would love to continue being an activity instructor doing fun and adventurous things forever, but then i also want to get a fancy job in the city running around being busy and important!! i just want to do a bit of everything you know?

Dream trip: i’d love to do rural asia, especially china, to see all the cool mountains and beautiful scenery they have there

Fave food: noodlesssss!! give me any sort of asian noodle dish and i’ll love you forever

Nationality: British and Australian

Fave songs: hmm some songs i never get bored of are ‘Boys Like You’ by dodie, ‘Who We Are’ by Imagine Dragons and ‘Blood’ by ANIMA!. right now i’m also obsessed with ‘Undertow’ by Lisa Hannigan (who, fun fact, voices blue diamond in su!)

(bonus song: i’ve also been listening to ‘walk but in a garden’ by mxmtoon so much recently cause it gives such good lockdown chill vibes)

Last book I read: Children of Time by Adrian Tchaivosky, a really really well done (if kinda unsettling) sci-fi novel, but ngl i want to talk about the book i read before that which is An Absolutely Remarkable Thing (and its sequel) by Hank Green which was FANTASTIC like hands down one of the best books i’ve read in a long time and if you’re looking for something fun and easy while also tackling serious real world problems (like the dangers of social media) then i HIGHLY recommend it, like honestly even if that’s not something you’re looking just go read it anyway!!!

Top 3 fictional universes I’d love to live in: 1. Harry Potter. kinda goes without saying haha, i want to be able to do magic 2. ATLA, (like only if i’m a bender tho lol) 3. hmm Chronicles of Ancient Darkness. It was one of my fav serious as a kid and I always longed to live in that sort of intelligent pre-historic age, and the world michelle paver creates feels so damn realistic, and i just feel like i’d thrive in that sort of world, tbh (i think the adhd would help lmao)

thank you so much for tagging me!! that was loads of fun ^^ i’m not gonna tag anyone but if you want to do this game go ahead and tag me in it!!

[angelofthequeers]

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Chapter 8 | Chapter 10 | AO3 link

After a gruelling afternoon of dealing with an akuma that turned its victims into puffs of sentient pink smoke – not devastating, but certainly annoying – Marinette’s about ready to thank whoever’s out there that it’s the weekend and pass out until her mother comes to wake her for dinner. But just minutes after she faceplants on her bed with a groan, when she’s drifting off into the sandman’s realm, there’s a knock on her hatch door.

“Huh?” She looks up, blinking blearily, but there’s nothing there. Huh. Maybe a bird had divebombed into it or something. But before she can bury her face in her pillow again, there’s another knock. Definitely not a bird. What the hell could be knocking on her hatch door, then? The answer turns out to be a stray cat with drooping ears, who’s perched himself on one of her chairs when she sticks her head out to investigate.

“Hey, Marinette.” Chat Noir grins but it’s hollow. “Remember how you said I could drop by anytime? You mind if I take you up on that offer?”

“Yes! I mean – no, I don’t mind! Come on down!” Marinette ducks back into her room to let Chat Noir slip inside and close the hatch after himself. He shuffles to the end of her bed and then just sits there, cross-legged, trying to smile but only managing to look anything but happy.

“Shoes off inside.” Marinette blearily blurts out the first thing that comes to her mind.

“I would, princess, but the boots don’t exactly come off,” Chat Noir shrugs. Then he winces. “Sorry. You look like death warmed over. You were trying to sleep, right?”

“I’ll be fine.” Marinette immediately betrays herself by letting out an enormous yawn.

“I can go –”

“Don’t even think about it.” Marinette waggles a finger at him. “That offer is redeemable at all times. No exceptions. Even if I’m not here, you’re more than welcome to come in and curl up like a kitten, so long as you don’t go through my stuff. And just don’t tell my mum about the shoes thing.”

Chat Noir just stares at her with glistening eyes. Shit. Did she say something wrong? Before she can ask what she’d done, her vision is cut off by the dark leather of Chat Noir’s suit as he hauls her in for a tight hug.

“Thanks, Marinette,” he says into her hair. “Just…thanks. That means a lot.”

“Breathing also means a lot,” Marinette says into his shoulder, her voice muffled, so he lets her go and shuffles back. “Anything in particular you want to do?”

“Not really?” Chat Noir says. “I’m happy to follow the lead of my princess.”

“You know, I don’t know why I never told you to stop calling me that,” Marinette says. “And it’s too late now, isn’t it?”

This time, Chat Noir’s smirk is genuine. “Damn right, princess.”

They lapse into a comfortable silence, sitting on the bed together, until Marinette figures that she’s never going to get to sleep now and it would be a little creepy to try and sleep with a guy in magic black leather and spandex in her room.

“I might as well keep working on one of my designs,” she says. “Unless there’s something you want to do…?”

“Nah, I’m happy to chill here,” Chat Noir says. “Actually…I never really get to chill. There’s always something to do in my room. And my life.”

“Eww.” Marinette wrinkles her nose. “That must suck. There’s nothing better than just…doing nothing sometimes. Okay, if you’re sure.” She slides down the ladder to the floor, then pads over to her desk to grab her sketchbook and pencil so that she can sketch in her bed. It’s just a hunch, but she strongly suspects that Chat Noir doesn’t want to be alone right now, even if they’re still in the same room.

Once she starts sketching, she loses herself in her own world of colours and patterns and fabrics, drawing something and then erasing it and then testing out something else and nodding in satisfaction when that something else meshes and flows. When she blinks and looks up to give herself a little break, the first thing she sees is Chat Noir just…staring at her.

“Is something wrong?” she says. “Are you hungry? I can go get you some food. Or if you want to do something –”

“No, no,” Chat Noir says. “I’m fine. It’s just…relaxing to watch you. You’re mesmerising when you’re designing.” He mutters something else that could be, “Unlike Father,” but it’s so quiet and his lips don’t even move, so Marinette just brushes it off as her imagination.

“O-Oh.” Her cheeks grow warm. “Thanks? I don’t usually get in the zone like that when others are around. I’m so…hyperaware of them.”

“Well, I’m honoured, princess,” Chat Noir says with his toothy grin. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve just relaxed like this.”

“Good,” Marinette says. “Between superheroing and whatever it must be like when it’s tense at home, you deserve the break.”

“Oh, superheroing isn’t stressful at all,” Chat Noir scoffs. Marinette raises an eyebrow.

“Maybe not for you. You’re not the brains, after all.”

“I know you’re trying to offend me but you’re right.” Chat Noir shoots her finger guns. “Ladybug is the brains. I’m just the cunning, ultra-charming Chat Noir.”

Marinette can’t help but snort, though she manages to disguise it as a rather loud cough that has Chat Noir narrowing his eyes at her.

“Got something to say, Marinette?” he says.

“No, no.” This time, Marinette can’t hold back her laughter. “So long as you’re happy with the clown suit, who am I to judge?”

“Excuse me? The clown suit?” Chat Noir jabs a finger at her. “I sure wasn’t a clown when I was saving you from Evillustrator.”

“Mhm.”

“Will you just take me seriously already?”

“Why? You already admitted that Ladybug’s the brains.”

Chat Noir glares at her, though not with any heat, and then his bottom lip sticks out and he honest to god pouts. That’s when Marinette loses it and doubles over with laughter at the sight of her sulking kitty, pouting like a little kid.

“It’s not funny,” he says sullenly.

“Are you sure about that?” Marinette wipes the tears from her eyes, careful not to get her sketchbook pages damp.

“Hmph. Fine. I see how it is. I bet you’re just a Ladybug fangirl and she’s drafted you to make fun of me!”

Oh, if only he knew the truth. “Actually, I’m much more of a Chat Noir girl,” Marinette says, and Chat Noir’s cat eyes widen.

“What? No, no, I was kidding. You should totally be a Ladybug girl.”

“Too late,” Marinette sings. “I’ve been a Chat Noir girl from the start.”

“But why?” Chat Noir tilts his head. “Ladybug’s so cool. She’s gorgeous. She purrifies –”

“Chat, I swear to god –”

“– the akumas and fixes everything with her cure. All of Paris loves her. Why don’t you?”

“I didn’t say I didn’t love her,” Marinette says. “But she wouldn’t be half the hero she is without her Chat Noir there to have her back. And I’d think exactly the same thing if the roles were reversed. I guess you could say I’m a Lady Noir girl – and no, not the ship, so don’t get any ideas.”

There’s something akin to awe in Chat Noir’s eyes. Has…no one ever told him that he’s just as important? Sure, he may not take things seriously and leave the weight on Ladybug’s shoulders, but Marinette’s a hundred percent not lying when she says that she wouldn’t be able to do it without him.

“And why exactly do you think Ladybug wouldn’t be able to do it without me? Bugaboo is so ingenious that she can manage even when I’m brainwashed.”

“Sure, she can hold her own when it comes to the fighting,” Marinette says. “But what about everything else? What about the moments when there aren’t akumas and you two are on patrol? Remember that picture that Alya got of you two the other day? Where you two were goofing around on the rooftops? You really think Ladybug could handle all this alone without someone by her side to shoulder the emotional weight? I mean, sure, you could focus a bit more on the akumas instead of clowning around –”

Chat Noir sticks his tongue out at her.

“– but you’re there for her in a way that no one else is. You’re her partner, Chat, and she needs you. Maybe she even appreciates your goofiness when she’s not in the middle of trying to take down an akuma. I know that facing destructive akumas like Green Giant or brainwashing akumas like Princess Fragrance couldn’t have been easy, especially with the weight of fixing everything on her shoulders. But don’t you dare think that you’re not valuable, kitty cat. Ladybug loves you, even if it’s not romantic. I’ve seen the way she looks at you in pics and videos.”

Chat Noir doesn’t say anything after Marinette’s speech, leaving Marinette to squirm under his bright green eyes as he stares at her with a slightly agape mouth. Then he’s leaning over and grabbing her in a hug, squeezing her just like Adrien had done the other day, murmuring, “Thanks, Marinette,” into her hair while she pats his back awkwardly.

“Alright, alright, you’re getting fur all over me,” Marinette says, slightly breathless with how tightly Chat Noir’s hugging her. With one last squeeze, Chat Noir pulls away and pouts at her again.

“Excuse you, princess, but I happen to be very well-groomed,” he says, and Marinette snorts. “I totally am. You’d eat your words if you knew who I was under the mask.”

“Aww, but what a pity, you can’t tell me!” Marinette says with a sweet smile. “So, I guess I won’t have to eat my words, as delicious as they are.”

“Sugary sweet just like the little baker’s princess, huh?” Chat Noir says. Marinette reaches out and flicks his bell, her smile widening when he yelps and scowls ay her.

“Damn right, kitty. I’m sugar and spice and everything nice.”

Chat Noir doesn’t say anything in response to that, instead choosing to stare right at Marinette with his intense green cat stare. When he’s quiet for too long, Marinette opens her mouth to ask what’s up, but he gets in first.

“Thanks, Marinette,” he says. “Really. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“I think I do,” Marinette says, but Chat Noir shakes his head.

“You really don’t. At home…I can’t tell you, you know, for identity reasons, but just knowing that I’ve got an escape…I mean, Chat Noir’s always been an escape, but running around alone in black leather only helps so much.”

“I can imagine,” Marinette says softly. Sure, putting on red spandex and swinging around Paris is a fantastic way to just get away when she needs it, but it still doesn’t fully help with her mad, swirling thoughts. Not like Chat Noir does. “Well, if you really want to keep yourself occupied, how about helping me with my Physics homework?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be one of the smartest kids in that class?” Chat Noir says with a suspicious little squint.

“Well, yes…but I could use a little help brushing up on a few things,” Marinette says. “That is, if you don’t mind.”

Chat Noir raising an eyebrow informs Marinette that she’s very much not fooling him as to the true purpose of asking him to help: to keep his mind occupied. But considering that it’s just as much for his benefit as it is for hers, he apparently chooses not to call out her horribly flimsy excuse.

“Sure thing, princess,” he says. “Grab your stuff and this dashing cat will help as best as he can.”

“That’s it, my grades are gonna drop,” Marinette says as she slides down the ladder to fetch her homework, stumbling on the last rung.

“Wow,” Chat Noir says. “Okay. Tell me how you really feel. Weren’t you the one asking me for help?”

“Only because I took pity on a poor stray,” Marinette says. As soon as she’s back up on her bed, Chat Noir shoves her backwards and plants a black-gloved hand on her chest.

“Say you’re sorry for hurting my poor feelings,” Chat Noir says with his roguish smile.

“Um…no.”

In response, Chat Noir’s hand applies more pressure, but not anywhere near enough to even begin to cause pain. It’s firm, albeit loose enough that Marinette could probably wiggle out if she really wanted to, but the playful light in Chat Noir’s eyes leaves her pinned to the bed far more effectively than his hand.

“And here I thought you were a pure princess,” Chat Noir says with a tone of exaggerated lament.

“Lucky me,” Marinette deadpans. When Chat Noir’s hand shifts ever so slightly, her brain makes itself very aware of the fact that the only thing separating his hand from her skin is a thin shirt and a black leather glove that seems to be radiating heat against the white material of her shirt. And yes, she doesn’t like Chat Noir as anything more than a friend…but try having a cute guy in black leather pin any teenage girl to her bed and expect her not to grow warm and fuzzy. She’s just going to choose to not acknowledge the fact that her crush on Adrien has been violently shoved to the backburner in this very moment, since she’s not too sure she wants to explore the implications of that.

“Oh.” With pink cheeks, Chat Noir releases Marinette, allowing her to push herself up and hastily fix her messy pigtails. “Uh – Physics! Right! Help you!”

“Very eloquent,” Marinette says, willing her racing heart to slow down already. Chat Noir gives her another roguish, lopsided grin.

“That’s me, princess. Eloquent as hell.”

“Sure,” Marinette drawls, then opens her notebook and flips to the worksheet of questions. “Now, how about you put that big brain of yours to good use?”

Chat Noir bows his head mockingly. “As you wish.”

“Oh my god, you did not just do what I think you did.”

[lunatens]

tagged by @kwanisms thanks bb! 💕

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to know better!

nickname: luna is just an alias on here lmao so if that counts and also my dad calls me ricky as a nickname

zodiac sign: pisces (ayyyy K we’re twins!!)

height: 5’10

hogwarts house: ravenclaw (omg K twins AGAIN)

last thing i googled: how many mL are in 4oz bc i wanted to buy some hair dye while i’m at home but i wasn’t sure if i could take it on the plane back to school (turns out i Cannot)

fave musicians: seventeen, stray kids, got7, ateez, shinee, day6, one direction, harry styles, 5 seconds of summer !

song stuck in my head: a mixture of special by monsta x and wonderland by ateez

following: 148

followers: 607

do you get asks: yes, mostly about hot summer!! but there’s a couple regular anons that i love with my entire heart 🥺 and yeah anyone who sends in asks i rlly love hearing feedback pls don’t be afraid to talk to me i love it!! 💕

amount of sleep: on average during the week id say probably between 5-6 hours and on weekends if i don’t have to get up for volleyball it’ll be closer to 8 or 9 if i’m lucky

what are you wearing?: some black and gray yoga pants and a long sleeved pastel blue shirt with a white and pastel pink (hehe it’s v seventeen colours) logo from this lil cottage/lake town called bayfield

dream job: my actual dream job would be to be like a lil florist or something and just chill with plants and be rlly cute and stuff but my actual dream job that i’m pursuing is to make animated movies!! probably to be a character designer or layout artist

dream trip: id love to go to korea (for obvious reasons lol) and it used to be japan but i’m actually going there in about a month and a half 🤪 so that’ll be fun!! also i have ALWAYS really wanted to go to australia or new zealand!

instruments: i’m guessing this is like instruments i can play?? i used to play the piano a bunch i could probably pick it up again easily and then i taught myself the ukulele a lil bit and i played the alto saxophone in elementary school which was me FAVE UGH so fun 😩 bring back the sax

languages: i’m only fluent in english, but i know un peu de français and i studied ancient latin in high school!! i also know a tiny bit of portuguese from when i went to brazil a couple years ago and i know a lil bit of korean but not much lmao. languages are SO COOL tho and i’d love to really learn another one!!

10 fave songs (in no particular order):

1. mist - ateez

2. unless i’m with you - jackson wang

3. burn it up - monsta x

4. pinwheel - seventeen

5. lit - oneus

6. oh my! - seventeen

7. a thousand bad times - post malone

8. sweet chaos - day6

9. red - the rose

10. faded - jackson wang

(this list changes ALL THE TIME lmao this is just what i’m listening to a lot right now)

random fact: i have a weird sense of smell and can’t smell certain scents apparently (me and kiera once went to chapters and smelled all the candles and some of them i just Could Not Smell even tho they were rlly strong according to her)

my aesthetic: fairy lights, mismatched socks, lake water gently lapping on the shore, fading sunlight streaking through the forest, wind rustling leaves, staying in bed til noon, haphazard ponytails, cuddling with a sleepy cat, 3am giggles, late night driving on country roads, flowers blooming in late spring

tagging: (not gonna be 21 ppl lmao i’m just gonna tag a few but if you wanna do it you can say i tagged u!) @panseylizard @montymontague @jaebumxsunrise @honeyhairedhan @dreamy-skz @peachywonu (i rlly need to catch up on watchman omg ;—;) @svtbitch only if y’all wanna !! you don’t have to!!

[sibyl-of-space]

Finished a binge re-play of Ocarina of Time (3D) for the first time in a very, very long time. Long-winded thoughts below.

Disclaimer: I played the original n64 version (red blood Ganondorf and all) ad NAUSEUM as a kid. It was by far in my top 3 most-played video games, and if you all know me you know that I don’t play a lot of video games, I play the same few over and over and over and become obsessed with them. As such, OoT is not new to me. I also played the 3D version once before, but it was over the course of several years when I was in college and that was a no-lens-of-truth run for the heck of it. I have not touched either since though, so this is the freshest eyes I’ve had on the game since I was probably about 6-7 years old seeing it for the first time. Do keep in mind though that I already knew virtually all the easter eggs and secrets and story and progression and had a vague recollection of the vast majority of dungeon concepts/puzzles before going in, because this game was my entire world for many formative years.

This game has really excellent dungeons. I ranked them below because I was inspired by my friend ML’s ranking (in fact a desire to rank them myself is what caused me to binge replay this in the first place), but honestly I found all of them engaging. My least favorite was ice cavern but even ice cavern has a really cool atmosphere and an interesting concept, it’s just a bit tedious and bottle management gameplay is not particularly fun to me.

1. Spirit Temple - unlike Shadow which uses invisible walls as a mechanic to trick you, Spirit subverts every single mechanic and puzzle you've encountered so far to really throw you. It's extremely clever. The ambience and overall design is also just excellent.

2. Forest Temple - gameplay wise it is fine but as the first adult temple it REALLY sets the scale and tone for the latter portion of your adventure; the vibe in this temple is just so fucking cool. The sacred forest meadow honestly does come off as sacred, ancient, and haunted but in an ethereal way as opposed to a spooky way. Ooh, I love it.

3. Ganon's Tower - the concept is excellent and the execution is solid, the medallion portion is interesting but the gauntlet up to Ganondorf with increasingly loud organ music and hallways filled with bats and just cool fights and great atmosphere makes this one of the sickest final dungeons I can think of. I was starting to be like "eh maybe the medallion rooms are a bit underwhelming" and then I got hit with the fakeout room in Light that just won me over with how cheeky it was. All the medallion rooms felt a bit like Spirit temple with how they played with expectations, which (ironically?) made the spirit portion actually the least good.

4. Gerudo Fortress - I'm counting mini dungeons and the whole espionage thing is just SO much fun. Break into a thieves’ hideout, jump across rooftops and shoot people with your bow to sneak past them?? WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE?????

5. Water Temple - okay I gotta say this replay really sold me on water temple. It's a cool concept and a fantastic atmosphere, and 3DS quality of life changes (boot swap ease of access + very clearly visually marked water level change rooms) made me actually thoroughly enjoy playing it. Also Dark Link is rightfully hailed as one of the coolest, if not the coolest, miniboss(es) in the game, so extra points there.

6. Bottom of the Well - Shadow's invisible wall mechanic is much more interesting when you can't see through them and everything is a potential trap. Falling down to the basement does get frustrating but that room where you light torches to open coffins and a FLOATING GIBDO EMERGES makes up for it, holy crap. Shadow Temple is underwhelming because Bottom of the Well already did what it tries to do but better.

7. Dodongo's Cavern - hey man I like blowing up dinosaurs this dungeon is just solid 0 complaints

8. Fire Temple - Fire Temple is also solid I just a) am so used to the original music that this version feels empty and lacking atmosphere by comparison, and b) find the above temples cooler. Shout out to dragon whack-a-mole boss fight though.

9. Shadow Temple - this suffers from being the only temple I really had completely memorized (I think my weenie friends* must have made me beat it for them as kids) so playing it this time was really just going through the motions; it didn’t get the chance to win me over because I remembered all of it and nothing particularly stuck out to me as being super clever. The boat ride, however, is sick as hell.

(*disclaimer: I was also a weenie. Shadow Temple scared the absolute pants off of me. But I clearly played it enough times that the entire thing was etched into my memory regardless, so.)

10. Deku Tree - does its job as tutorial dungeon, nice atmosphere, thats about all there is to say.

11. Jabu-Jabu's Belly - redeeming feature is using Ruto as a projectile. Throwing her at the ceiling switches will never not be hilarious. Honestly not a bad dungeon, merely gross and I like the other ones better.

12. Ice Cavern - I used to dread Ice Cavern; this time around I just found it tedious. The atmosphere is successful - it really feels cold and chilling - but not appealing enough to make up for it being dull and kind of annoying. Has the potential to be really cool if the blue fire were used in a more interesting way than “fill your bottles and dump them elsewhere.”

BUT, I feel it would be a complete disservice to my younger self and my younger self’s reasons for playing this game so much, if I focus completely on dungeons and disproportionately on gameplay in a review. Because while gameplay is a huge reason I kept going back to it (hard to want to go back to a game if it isn't fun to play), that’s not what made me love it so much, and a replay has given me fresher eyes to enjoy everything else it has to offer.

Ocarina of Time creates a world and a story that I deeply cared about, and revisiting as an adult, I find if anything I have more take-aways than I did previously. I have always really enjoyed coming-of-age narratives when done well, and this is a coming-of-age narrative done REMARKABLY well. You see dumb bratty kids doing dumb bratty kid things and then see the mature people they’ve grown into 7 years later; the game does not make the mistake of projecting a personality onto a voiceless protagonist, but it does imply a narrative arc for him (and you) regardless just through how strong and cool and awesome you get by the end and all the rad shit you’ve accomplished over the course of the game. It manages to very, very successfully make its story about other characters who DO have personalities, but also make you as the blank slate mc cool guy hero very much have a part in that story that feels very earned and satisfying.

Link doesn’t have a personality. You can project whatever the hell you want onto him or nothing at all. Ocarina of Time makes that *work*, because it doesn’t try to frame him as either ~adult in a child’s body~ or ~child in adult’s body~, it just lets you experience the literal growth from a kid who has to jump to reach ledges and has to thwack things twice with a slingshot and tiny sword, to an adult who can LAUNCH MASSIVE PILLARS INTO THE AIR and one-shot previously difficult enemies, and interpret that however you will. I think the most powerful example of this is going back in time again after doing several adult temples, and entering the bottom of the well, where you see enemies you’ve previously only encountered as an adult, and feel confident that you can tackle them as a child, too.

I really love these kinds of narratives. Where the growth of the main character is purely in the sense of you as the player becoming more adept and stronger, and the context of the story makes that mean something, but the game doesn’t try and pretend the avatar itself has a 3-dimensional personality.

I also think the balance between narrative and gameplay is excellent once it hits its groove. The beginning is very hand-holdy (Navi taught me how to open a door after I had already opened a door elsewhere because she’s scripted to do it at a specific door even though you can technically get to a later one first. lol), and I very firmly believe that with Saria’s Song as a device that lets you seek advice when you want to, it is completely unnecessary to have Navi yell at you what she thinks you should be doing. That said, the game doesn’t stop you from doing whatever the hell you want, and the number and depth of dungeons makes exploring and killing stuff by FAR the meat of the game, over the story. There is a suggested dungeon order, but you have some freedom if you’d rather do them a bit out of order, and there is a LOT of fun side stuff you can do and get rewarded for.

Most of that side stuff is an excellent way to highlight the humor in this game. If you beat Malon’s horse race record she mails a literal fucking cow to your house. Your house in Kokiri Forest. You just show up and there is a fucking cow in your house. That is the funniest thing that has ever happened in a game in the history of forever, sorry. You can race the running man, and all of the other sidequests in the game make you think there is a beatable goal you’ll be rewarded for, and the fucker just goes “lol good try but I beat you by one second. :)” You can blow up the Gossip Stones and they turn into rocketships and launch into space. After you beat the game, and have a really poignant moment with Princess Zelda where she sends you back in time, there is a completely out of nowhere dance party featuring the entire cast in celebration. The game does not try to explain this. It just gives you a dance party, and after such a bittersweet finale and such a fun and engaging game, a no-context dance party is exactly what it needs. A line o Gerudo doing the can-can? Thank you, yes please.

There is SO much that this game does not feel any need to justify in-game, that it simply puts in there because it is fun or cool or both, and I appreciate that so much. There are easter eggs out the butt (still haven’t bothered catching the Hylian Loach and I have still NEVER found the sinking lure despite following every guide in existence). Most of the temples imply some sort of greater history that is not even the slightest bit touched on. It has a very cohesive “core” game that has a start-to-finish suggested progression and a matching narrative, and it has absolute mountains of random shit outside of that it in no way pretends to justify. It explains just enough to give it ground to stand on, but no more, leaving you with more questions than answers. That ambiguity drove me nuts as a kid, but now, I think it’s also why I kept coming back. I wanted answers the game wouldn’t give me so I felt compelled to try and find them myself.

Ocarina of Time’s ending is incredible in ways I am just now able to appreciate. First of all, Zelda is like “I’m gonna send you back in time now” and pulls up the Ocarina and instead of playing the Song of Time which everything in the game implies she should, she plays Zelda’s Lullaby and hesitates just enough on the last note as you are sent back in the past - oof, that’s a good moment. The entire game you’re told about how the Kokiri can’t survive outside of the forest and suddenly they’re at Lon Lon Ranch having a dance party. You walk away from the Master Sword and seal it back in the temple, but nonsensically are then able to meet Zelda in her garden as if nothing had happened, meaning she sent you back so far it erased not just the adult timeline but also everything you accomplished as a child too? So many questions, but the fact that it does not even bother to answer them and just leaves you with such an open-ended image of you and Zelda as kids, calling back to that very early moment after the first dungeon in the game, and you can interpret for yourself what exactly that means.

I’m getting rambly (HAHA as if I’m ever not) so I should wrap this up shortly. Ocarina of Time’s ending is why I am so vehemently opposed to the concept of a ~Zelda Timeline~. The ending is nonsensical if you try to apply concrete logic to it. This game proposes ideas and makes me feel a certain way about them and the ending succeeds in providing just enough closure to make me satisfied and just enough open-ness that makes me want to keep coming back to it to experience it again. It’s not an open-and-shut piece of history of a fake world, it’s a really remarkable journey thats ambiguity is what allows it to feel so very magical.

Ooh boy I can’t wait to replay MM again, but that is a game I’ve never stopped playing, so it’ll be anything but fresh. It hits different right after completing OoT, though. The only way to follow up on a story like Ocarina of Time is to be even MORE batshit, ambiguous, and loose with your definition of how time works.

[trainsinanime]

Miraculous Ladybug Car Headcanons

You didn't ask for it, I kinda didn't want to write it, but it's been spooking around in my head for so long now that I just had to get it out: Overly justified head canons for what car which Miraculous Ladybug main character would drive once they're adults (say early twenties). Of course it's still based on today (January 2020), because canonically in ML, time makes no sense and you shouldn't worry about it.

First off: As people living in a big European city with good public transport, there's a good argument to be made that they wouldn't drive (or at least own their own) cars at all, especially for Marinette, who would have to search ages for a parking space. I'm just going to ignore that here.

Adrien

The car: Jaguar I-Pace, black, possibly with some green on the wheels or the mirrors.

Why: It's a black cat! A big, driving pun! How could he resist? More specifically, I think Chat Noir has based at least some of his ideas of what it means to be a cool, suave super-hero on certain British spy movies, for better or worse, and it would make sense that his ideas of cool cars might be influenced by them as well. That would imply Aston Martin, but then again, cat, so Jaguar it is.

Here you might go for something actually cool, like the F-Type, and I could even imagine Adrien doing that… until the first time he, Marinette, Alya and Nino want to travel somewhere and he realises they won't all fit. Just imagine his face when he realises that he has to leave some of his friends behind. I'm fairly certain he'd insist that they all take the bus together instead, and he'd definitely trade in his car the very next day.

There would be other alternatives even within the Jaguar brand. I'm partial to the E-Pace, which tries to look cool but just ends up looking adorable, which makes it basically a Plagg or Chat Noir on wheels. But in the current climate conscious times, I guess it would make more sense for him as a rich guy to go the electric route. Plus, there's much more trunk space, which is very useful whenever he helps Nino move his DJ-ing equipment, or whenever he helps Marinette move fabric, clothes, mannequins, sewing machines, furniture, or all of those together in an indeterminate ball. And yes, he is genuinely happy and ready to drop everything and help Marinette move stuff whenever she asks, just to see her adorable blush and her beautiful smile. She's a really good friend, you know.

Rejected alternatives:

Any german car. Not many people know it (even though it seems blindingly obvious), but as someone who worked in the german car industry for years, I can confirm: German cars have no soul. They're good for the Gabriels and Chloes of the world, maybe, but they're all just so boring. I read at least one aged-up no powers AU story where Adrien had a quirky unusual Subaru Station Wagon (which I really like as a car idea for him), but then trades it for a generic Audi, and that somehow represents him growing up. Sorry, the rest of the story is great, but this? Nope. If growing up means driving Audis, then I never want to be old.

Lexus, Infinity or whatever: Why would you want to buy a japanese car trying to be a soulless german car? Could just as well go with the soulless original, or better yet, buy something fun to begin with.

Some Peugeot. It would fit because of cat pun and also french, but I think they're just not that exciting.

Any Tesla. I had a boss once who drove a Tesla. Spent every lunch break gushing over his car. Every single one. No offence to him, he was a perfectly nice person, but damn, that was annoying. So I have a strict "No Tesla Talk" rule nowadays.

Marinette

The car: Renault Twingo, first generation, pink or red.

Why: It's small, french, and thoroughly charming, much like Marinette herself. It's also going to be in her (or her parents') price range. Plus, the small size makes it easy to park, crucial when you don't have a giant estate like some people. And if she needs to move something really big, Adrien has made it very clear that she can always count on him. (She's a bit self-conscious about asking him all the time, but he never minds, and it is an opportunity for her to get him alone and have him smile at her) There's lots of other small french cars you could go with, but I'd argue that the first-generation Twingo hits the sweet spot between being recent enough and interesting enough.

Rejected alternatives:

The same car, but in red: I'm thinking that's too on the nose. But maybe if we assume that the car was once red, but then slowly bleached out to pink over time?

VW Beetle (old): Yes, I get it, but I already gave Adrien a car based on a pun, two is excessive. Plus, I personally think that it's just not that charming. On a more practical level, this is nowadays a historic car for enthusiasts.

VW Beetle (any of the two newer generations): Less historic, but also less charming, and getting to the thing where german cars have no souls that I mentioned above.

Renault Twizzy: I did consider giving her an electric option as well, but I don't really like any of them. The Renault Zoe would be obvious but boring. The Twizzy is quirky, but also rather pointless, at least for someone who already lives in a city instead of having to commute into it. If we're going that route, then I think the electric Vespa would be a better choice. We already know she's comfortable on motorcycles.

Actually, there are a lot of reasons why a Vespa or any type of scooter would be a better choice for her than a car. There are the obvious parts of being cheaper and using less parking space, but also consider the increased flexibility in chase scenes. Plus, it gives us lots more cute scenes where Adrien has to (or in his opinion, gets to) drive her to and from the discount yarn store, as well as scenes where she has to deal with him clinging on really tight to her on her scooter. But that's not the premise of this post, I guess.

Driving

Yes, Marinette is a bit air-headed and uncoordinated, but I really don't want to do old sexist boomer tropes. So let us instead focus on her miraculous ability to recover from whatever flailing she's gotten herself into. This is not always entirely consistent in canon, but it's definitely there. With the added benefit of a bit of growing up, we can assume that Marinette will get into all sorts of close calls that will scare her friends a bit, but that her car will remain entirely spotless (or as close to spotless as is possible in Paris).

Adrien, on the other hand, is chill, level-headed, focused, and rarely turns his music up loud, resulting in entirely uneventful drives.

Of course, that is in normal situations. In an emergency (such as needing to return to Paris ASAP because of a new Akuma), both will drive scarily fast but entirely accident-free. And it doesn't matter that Adrien has an order of magnitude more horsepower than Marinette: She will arrive there first. (That's if she is in her own car. If they had to trade cars for some reason, then she will show in detail exactly how much quicker the more expensive car can be.)

In costume, they're obviously not going to use their cars normally. But there will be situations of Ladybug in Adrien's car, or Chat in Marinette's car (weird, why does he know the specific way required to wiggle the old, busted door handle? Eh, best not to think about it). There's also a general understanding that they can always use each other's cars as cover in a fight. That, or as projectiles, or as power sources, or as a general source of spare metal and parts for more convoluted "Lucky Charm" plans. Even if they have doubts about whether the Miraculous Cure works. After all, neither of them may know that Adrien/Marinette is right next to them, but they do know for a fact that they won't mind if it's for a good cause.

The cars are also very useful as quick places to transform. You might say that they have windows, and that others might realise that something is up when one person enters the car and then a suspiciously similar looking person in other clothes leaves it. But remember the canonical rules: As long as there exists at least one possible view point in the vicinity, and one object or landscape feature of any size, so that a hypothetical observer at that viewpoint would consider Adrien or Marinette to be behind that feature, they're safe. Or if all observers who have been shown on screen are currently looking somewhere else.

(Personally, I'm fairly certain that there must be characters who know perfectly well that Marinette is Ladybug, and just never realised that it was supposed to be a secret.)

So, what do you think?

[freedom-shamrock]

The Ladybug Special - Part 4

Also on AO3 Part 1   Part 2   Part 3

Posting this as day 2 of my personal ML WIP-Completion December challenge.

Adrien had wanted to hug Marinette the moment he saw her, but that wasn't quite the relationship they had, not yet anyway, and Nino was right that he needed to keep it chill until the time was right. Romance and wooing required the right ambiance and timing. He squirmed a bit as they took turns getting clobbered by her in Mecha Strike. It was no wonder his Lady was so good at piloting the mech when Max had been akumatized.

"Hmm," Marinette said, setting her controller on the desk. "Are you all right?"

"Me?" Adrien asked with an embarrassing squeak.  "Just fine. How about you?"

"You're not usually this easy to beat," she pointed out.

"You have to forgive him, Marinette," Alya said quickly.  "We took him for ice cream and he's not used to getting that kind of sweet stuff."

"Ohhh."  Marinette nodded.  "Sugar rush, huh? Hard to focus?"

"Something like that," Adrien agreed, readily bobbing his head along with her.

After what felt like forever, Alya's timer finally went off. "It's been great gang, but I have to head.  Siblings to corrupt."

Nino got up with her, not even bothering to make an excuse. He babysat with her more often than Marinette did. "Go easy on my bro, Mari. That ice cream really did a number on him."

"I'm fine ," he insisted. He knew his friends were trying to play off his state of mind in case things didn't go well. But that was completely unnecessary. He had this under control.

"I'll just show them out," Marinette said, smiling at him. "Then do you want to watch a movie or something."

"Definitely something," Adrien agreed. "I don't have to be home for a while yet, and we haven't gotten to spend much time together recently.  Maybe you can show me your latest designs?"

"Oh." She looked delighted and surprised at the suggestion. "Sure. If that's what you want."

While she was gone, Adrien fished Plagg out of his pocket. He'd only gotten about two minutes with his kwami during a bathroom break to discuss this exciting development. "You won't have to stay in there much longer, buddy."  Their kwamis could hang out when they were together. That was a nice side-benefit. Going to see Master Fu together, instead of on their own, would be efficient, and a whole lot more fun. Study dates were totally a thing; Nino and Alya did those all the time. Oh gosh, how had he gotten so lucky?

"So you're sure about this?" Plagg asked, tilting his head slightly.

Adrien nodded.  Nothing would change his mind at this point.  "Her kwami is Tikki, right?"

"Yeah, but she's Sugarcube to me." He straightened up as if this was some sort of honor.

"Do you want to go find her now, or after I tell Maribug…" His eyes went wide as he realized he'd had the perfect name forever. "Buginette." He let out a little squeal and pranced in a circle.

"Geeze, kid.  You're a mess." He pawed at Adrien's nose, forcing the boy to meet his cat eyes. "Tomcats do not melt into a puddle at the thought of their lady, okay? You won't be much good as a protector if you're all gooey."

"Cats are liquids," Adrien replied.

"You're a predator and you wield the ultimate force of destruction," Plagg corrected. Then he let out a tiny huff. I'm going to stay with you for now." He darted back into Adrien's pocket as they both picked up treads on the stairs. "Both so I can tease you later, and because someone needs to be able to save you when your mouth gets ahead of your brain."

Adrien snorted, unable to respond because Marinette was cresting the steps, holding a tray of snacks.

"I thought you might be hungry," she said. "And maybe a little something to balance you out after all the sugar would be helpful."  She slid the tray onto the desk.

His mouth went dry.  All the rehearsed and carefully considered words from two years of crushing on his partner, and today's suggestions from Alya and Nino, completely dropped out of his head now that they were alone. This never happened to him! He could not crash and burn.  He would not.

He took a deep breath and blurted, "I'd love to meet Tikki.  She sounds like the sweetest kwami in the world." Crap. That was supposed to come after she agreed to go out with him. But at least he hadn't gone with the 'Mari me' proposal that needed to come much later.  Like next month or something.

She turned toward him, her eyes wide and her mouth frozen in a little O of surprise.

He could fix this.  He totally could. He was a hero, after all. "We should go on a double date, find a place that has cookies and cheese... Though any date would be a double date, really, since it's not like either of us will leave our kwamis at home when we go out. You know what I mean?  It would be just my luck that an akuma would attack when I'm out with the world's most amazing lady, and I've gotta be prepared, you know?" Okay. That wasn't really better, but the information was all out there now, and he could totally work with this.

She hadn't spoken, though now her expression had turned calculating. Yes, she was clever. She'd figure it all out and save him from his rambling.

"Oh, and I got you something." He reached behind her computer and pulled out the little box he'd hidden there when he first got up to her room. "I thought this was a pretty… uh… momentous occasion, but Alya and Nino kept rejecting my ideas. I have lots of future gift plans though, so that's cool. And I hope you're okay with me spoiling you, because you're amazing and deserve everything ."

"Alya and Nino know?" she quietly interrupted his tsunami of words.

Oh dear.  He recognized the terror on her face. "Of course they know, they helped me figure it out… " When her fear only increased, he realized he'd misunderstood. "Oh.  No, no, no. Not that . Of course they don't know that you're Ladybug." He beamed at her.

Though her worry seemed to lessen slightly, it remained, paired with a dose of confusion. "They don't know I'm Ladybug?" she asked, as if clarifying, though her voice sounded a bit squeaky.  When he nodded, she continued. "But they know… something else? What are you talking about Adrien? What is going on?"

"I'm sorry.  I'm making a mess." He covered his face with both hands. "Destruction is my specialty, so I guess it makes sense."

"Stop."  Marinette pulled his hands away, stemming the tide of words. "It's… you're all over the place and it's too much at once."

"If I start over, can we pretend I didn't say the rest of that stuff?" he asked.  He wished Plagg had gone off to find Tikki, this was probably his fault, stupid being of chaos and destruction.

She nodded.

"You're an amazing person, and I've always known that."  He smiled when that caused her to look away, a blush kissing her cheeks. "And it's true whether you're my classmate and friend, or as my partner."

"How?" She took a deep breath. "How did you figure it out? How long have you known?" She stepped back, worrying her hands together.

"It's only been a couple of hours, and the story, it's kind of funny, actually." He pulled out his phone. "Alya, Nino and I met up at André's, and he gave me the same sweetheart ice cream he always does."  He opened the text from Alya, expanded the picture of his sundae, and held it out for her to see. "I've always assumed it meant Ladybug, cause she the yin to Chat Noir's yang, but Nino suggested it was you."

Cradling his phone in both hands, she stared at him in surprise.

"And I just… I realized we were both right." He shrugged.  "I didn't tell them about Ladybug, though. They would have just thought it was a celebrity crush. They don't know her… you the way I do."

"And that was all it took for you to realize it was me?" she asked, her voice a bit more shrill than usual.

He nodded. "It just… it came to me. I just suddenly knew . Probably like how you always know what to do with your lucky charms." He took back the phone. "I don't think anyone else would figure it out, I mean Nino and Alya didn't, and if anyone was going to, it'd be them." He hoped that was enough reassurance.

"Um… when you figured out it was me…" She shifted her weight, fidgeting. "What did you think?"

He beamed at her. "I was really happy. Like ridiculously happy. I don't think I'd want anyone else as my Ladybug. And if André's magic is accurate, and you're willing to go out with me, I would be the luckiest guy on the planet."

"And you're really my Chat Noir?" she asked.

He tugged Plagg out of his pocket and held him out for her to see. "In person."

The next thing he knew, Marinette had thrown her arms around his neck and was pressed firmly against his chest. Yeah. This was heaven right here. He rested his chin on her shoulder, pressing his cheek to hers. After a long moment of contentment he whispered, "I know you didn't want us to find each other, and I promise I didn't try. But I'm so happy it's you. Do you think you can be okay with this?"

She loosened her hold, and he followed suit, not wanting to make her uncomfortable, but she kept her hands on his shoulders. "I'm very much okay with this." She giggled.

"And would you want to go out with me, on an actual date?" he asked. "I'm so crazy about you."

"Ain't that the truth," Plagg interjected.

She met his eyes, happier than he'd ever seen her. One hand came up to rest on his cheek. "I'd love to go out with you.  On a recurrent basis."

Adrien pulled her back in for a hug.  "This is the best day of my life. Second only to becoming Chat Noir and meeting both of you."

Ice cream reveal. It's a thing now. And I had such fun with this. Thanks @lnc2 for letting me play in your sandbox.

[perfectirishgifts]

Get the Flavors Of Large Format Libations, Even For Parties Of One

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/get-the-flavors-of-large-format-libations-even-for-parties-of-one/

Get the Flavors Of Large Format Libations, Even For Parties Of One

Fruit punch with ice served in beautiful big glass bowl

A party just isn’t a party without gathering at punch bowls and buffet tables, but, unfortunately, this is the year we can’t have parties. 

However, to paraphrase the late Michael Hutchence of INXS, if you “miss the people, and miss the fun,” at least this is the year ready-to-drink innovations and other cool products have made it possible to experience that buzzing party vibe in smaller servings.

So freeze those ice cubes, don you now that ugly sweater, break out the cat’s earmuffs and/or the dog antlers and pour yourself a cup of holiday cheer!

All of the following items are available at select retailers in store or online. But to spread even more cheer to businesses that could really use the support, please consider using these products as inspiration to order similar format cocktails to-go from local bars and restaurants, many of which are offering holiday menu selections. (Bonus if you live near a Miracle pop-up bar!) 

Punch

No reason you can’t pour these RTD punches into a bowl (even a plastic container) with ice, and add citrus wheel garnishes and/or cranberries to capture that festive vibe. 

Drnxsmith Rum Punch

The motto of Drnxmyth is “the best bar in town delivered to your door”, and each canned cocktail is developed by real mixologists, not a boardroom. The Rum Punch, created by Los Angeles bartender Bad Birdy, is made with real fresh juices and was fashioned to be refreshing, but not too sweet. 16% ABV, $11

Rockey’s Milk Punch: For those who don’t know, milk punch is not actually milky, though it’s made with clarified milk—which adds a special tartness to drinks. The centuries’ old technique involves a chemical reaction with tea, and is rather tedious to do at home, especially just for a serving or two. Thank heavens NYC bartender Eamen Rockey came up with a delicious, bottled version of milk punch! Sip it on the rocks, or add a splash of spirit (rum, whiskey, tequila, gin, etc.) or even bubbly. 12% ABV, $26

BeatBox Peach is the newest flavor from this line of tetra-pak, single serve RTDs and is meant to evoke the flavor of peach ring candies, though the flavors are only a touch sweet, and they are still fairly low in calories, considering (130). $4 per pack 

Eggnog Christmas milk cocktail with cinnamon, served in two glasses on vintage tray with shortbread … [] star shape sugar cookies, decor toys, fir branch over white wooden plank table. (Photo by: Natasha Breen/REDA&CO/Universal Images Group via Getty Images)

Eggnog

It could be argued that no single party cocktail says “December” quite like an eggnog. The problem is, that’s a lot of preparation for a single party. Luckily there are some festive and delicious bottlings that only require a chill, and perhaps a sprinkle of nutmeg. Bonus: lipstick is also canceled in 2020, so nothing to re-apply when the spice rubs off your lipcolor. 

Priced at only $9 for a 750 ml bottle (though it tastes wayyyy more expensive), Evan Williams Southern Eggnog the #1 seller in the all-in-one nog category. The real dairy cream recipe combines Evan Williams bourbon as well as well as rum and brandy. 15% ABV 

Bacardí Coquito

Coquito, which translates to “little coconut”, is a traditional Christmas eggnog variation that is a staple of home kitchens in Puerto Rican households. Bacardí’s bottled version—with rum, coconut cream, vanilla, toasted spices and cinnamon—sold out quickly last year, but they’ve brought it back for a limited time in 2020. 13% ABV, $20 

Drinks Inspired By the Dessert Table

RumChata Peppermint Bark

As if a rummed up, shelf stable version of the popular Mexican comfort rice milk drink, horchata, wasn’t clever enough, this year the makers of RumChata have launched a Peppermint Bark flavor. Who needs to be judged grazing at a party cookie tray when you can pour yourself a chocolate-mint dessert (in the elastic pants-friendly privacy of your own home) that needs zero preparation—not even ice! 14% ABV, $22

Dr. Bill Lumsden and Glenmorangie A Tale of Cake

Glenmorangie A Tale of Cake is the latest limited edition of this Highland Scotch from the mind of Director of Whisky Creation Dr. Bill Lumsden, who says his most joyful childhood memories involved cake. This fruity, comforting whisky is 46% ABV, $100. 

Aberfeldy 12 Year Scotch Hot Chocolate kit

Sparkly, Scotchy Hot Chocolate 

Personal pampering is taken to the next level with this luxurious, velvety rich Aberfeldy Golden Hot Chocolate kit created in partnership with Exquisito Chocolates in Miami. A $45 all-in-one set includes an entire 750 ml bottle (I know!) of Aberfeldy 12 Year Single Malt Scotch (this is a non-peated, Highlands malt), a 6.8 oz bag of Limited Edition Aberfeldy Golden Hot Chocolate Mix, 6 Aberfeldy-infused marshmallows, and to make it extra festive, 4 g of edible gold glitter, along with 2 branded mugs. So fire up the virtual yule log (or queue the holiday rom com—no one is judging), and order one at Reserve Bar (note: if it is sold out, I am told they plan to restock by Friday the 11th) to cozy up to.  

Death Valley Nails Death & Co. polish collection

Look (and Mix) Your Best at Home 

Speaking of pampering, since you’re home relaxing, why not give yourself a mani/pedi to feel more gussied up for your personal holiday cocktail party? Death & Co. cocktail bar has teamed up with Death Valley Nails to develop limited edition polishes inspired by bartenders on the national team—Devon Tarby (Co-Owner, Los Angeles), Shannon Tebay (Head Bartender, NYC), and Alex Jump (Head Bartender, Denver). A percentage of sales for each shade of the vegan, cruelty-free, non-toxic line goes toward Mojave Desert Land Trust, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Foundation and Soul Fire Farm. They are available from Death & Co Market and Death Valley Nails for $12 each, or $35 for the trio. 

Finally, if you want to give the gift of home cocktail classes, or take some yourself, Santa Teresa 1796 Rum has the 1796 Virtual Holiday Speakeasy, where some of the country’s most talented bartenders from NYC, Los Angeles and Miami can personally guide your way! Details here—just pick a cocktail and book!

More from Spirits in Perfectirishgifts

[redundantmidlife]

Ice, ice baby. Summer's here and the time is right...for cool cocktails and novelty ice cubes

Summer's here and the time is right.... Lockdown could be coming to an end, the sun is shining, and we're all feeling a little happier. Although the time may not be right for dancing in the street just yet, it is the time for making and shaking some cool cocktails with ice cubes to match. Given we're all about the unusual, we've decided to put together a short list of offbeat cocktails, from Star Wars to Titanic, all of which can be supplemented with some quirky but relevant ice cubes from Moldyfun.com. The cocktails we're going to be looking at are: The Laughing BuddhaTornadoJaw's BreakfastTitanicDeath StarBlow My Skull Off So grab that cocktail shaker, chill those cubes, and sit back in a socially distanced sort of way to enjoy the taste of summer!

Laughing Buddha Cocktail

The Laughing Buddha brings good luck, contentment and abundance. He helps you get lots of whatever you wish for – be it wealth, happiness, satisfaction or, in my case, pubs opening and some decent socialising. Despite looking a little like me following my lockdown diet, the Laughing Buddha cocktail is actually a bit healthy. I'm only saying that as it includes ginger and chilli's, both of which are supposed to be good for you. Ginger for example helps with muscle soreness (post Joe Wicks) and also morning sickness (post lockdown frolicking). Obviously if you are battling morning sickness I don't recommend drinking the cocktail yourself. Laughing Buddha cocktail ingredients 2 oz (30 ml) citron vodka 1 oz (15 ml) lime juice1/2 oz (7 ml) Five Spice Agave Nectar2 oz (30 ml) ginger beer3 pieces ginger3 slices Serrano chilli pepper (to taste) The Laughing Buddha cocktail can be taken to a whole new level by the inclusion of Laughing Buddha ice cubes, so snap up a fun silicone mould to finish the drink off.

Laughing Buddha Silicone Ice Mould Cocktail sourced from: https://punchdrink.com/recipes/laughing-buddha/

Tornado Summer Cocktail

Obviously a tornado can conjure up images of wind and rain, but in this case it's a smooth rum based drink from the Caribbean. As the Caribbean is somewhere I'd like to go when flights resume, this is one for yours and my imagination. Think of the turquoise sea, dark blue sky and white sand. Perfect. Tornado Cocktail Ingredients 2 oz (25 ml) dark rum1 oz (15 ml) light rum1 egg whiteDash of lemon juiceDash of passion fruit juice Obviously I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't recommend some ice cubes, so get one of our silicone mould ice trays and make tornado shaped ice cubes. Brings your cocktail to life.

Tornado Ice Cubes, for Stormy Times Original recipe taken from: http://recipes.hellomagazine.com/cocktails/tag/the-tornado/

Jaw's Breakfast Cocktail

If you fancy something with a bit more bite, then this one could be for you. It conjures up images of sand, sea and... and sharks. It's a cool cocktail with colour. 2 oz (30 ml) Tequila 1 oz (15 ml) Grand Marnier1 oz (15 ml) Blue Curacao1/2 oz (7.5 ml) lemon juiceDash of orange bittersSlice of lemon If you like a floater in your cocktail then these ice fin novelty cubes are perfect to finish the drink off.

Shark Fin Ice Cubes Cocktail recipe sourced from: https://thedrinkblog.com/jaws-breakfast/ As they said in the film, "You're gonna need a bigger boat," so the next cool cocktail plays on that idea.

Titanic Cocktail

Continuing the nautical theme, and I guess disaster movies, along comes the Titanic cocktail. Sailing a ship into an iceberg would probably be more explainable if you'd had a few of these. Titanic Cocktail Ingredients 2 oz (30ml) Vodka0.5 oz. (7.5 ml) Martini bianco (dry)0.5 oz (7.5 ml) Galliano0.5 oz (7.5 ml) Blue Curaçao So for novelty ice cubes, this time we actually have a (small) replica of the Titanic made using a silicone ice cube mould. So this time the ship is made of ice, rather than being sunk by it.

Down she goes. The ship that is, with a Titanic ice cube Original recipe sourced from: https://www.cocktail.uk.com/cocktails/titanic

The Death Star Cocktail

I admit it's not the jolliest sounding cocktail, but as there are plenty of Star Wars cocktails about I thought we'd be a bit different. Plus I like a good whisky sour, so this is one for the garden with mates. Death Star Cocktail Ingredients 1 oz (15 ml) Jägermeister 1 oz (15 ml) Whiskey1 oz (15 ml) Vodka1 oz (15 ml) Triple sec2 oz (15 ml) Sour mix2 oz (15 ml) Coca-Cola Obviously this is a little on the dark side...but all you need to do is put the ingredients together and shake and prepare for your vary own Star Wars. The just add a Death Star Ice Cube to finish off your Star Wars themed drink.

Death Star Ice Cube Mould Recipe sourced from: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/death-star-2/

Blow My Skull Cocktail

I like a bit of history so thought I'd mention this one as my final choice. It even has an entry on Wikipedia. I have to admit I've not made it, but can feel some fun coming on when we're finally allowed to get close to each other. A few of these and there'll be some hugging of something or someone for sure. Blow My Skull is an alcoholic punch (so not strictly a cocktail) that originated in mid-19th century in Australia. As originally described in The English and Australian Cookery Book by Edward Abbott, it calls for two pints of boiling water, mixed with sugar loaf, lime or lemon juice, one pint of ale (dark), one pint of rum, and half a pint of brandy. Some people call the drink Blow My Skull Off, which may also refer to a historical version made with ingredients unlikely to be in your store cupboard. Turkish opium anyone? Blow My Skull Off Ingredients Two pints boiling waterSugarLime or lemon juicePint of Ale or PorterPint of Rum Half a Pint of Brandy (!) Method: Dissolve 165g (3/4 cup) of brown cane sugar into a litre of boiling water in a large bowl to dissolve. Then add the juice of six limes (about 180 ml), and 500 ml each of porter and navy-style rum (57% alcohol content) and 250 ml of strong brandy, stir and refrigerate until chilled. Serve in half pint glasses. Again, I'd suggest adding in some novelty ice cubes to complete the drink... Not the cheeriest ones to end on but at least these are reusable for Halloween...

Skull Ice Cubes to Blow Your Mind Recipe sourced from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blow_My_Skull_Off

Cool Cocktails Conclusion

There you have it. Some cool cocktails that are off the beaten track. Now summer's here and we're no longer clapping in the street, don't forget to raise a glass of your cool cocktails to the carers and NHS staff who have got us here. I'm also celebrating being hip, well having a new one at least (have I told you my story?), a new job and summer in general, so I'm off to give them a go (again). Ice Cube Mould Tip: When making novelty cubes, boil the water first and let it cool. It's a way to ensure they come out crystal clear, rather than cloud... See the Moldyfun range of novelty ice cube moulds here Read the full article

[sustainhealthmagazine]

Vegan and Organic Christmas - Recipes, Products and Top Tips

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By FOOD EDITOR FOR SUSTAIN HEALTH 

PUBLISHED: 11:12, 04 December 2019 | UPDATED: 11:22, 04 December 2019

Imagine a Christmas where you could only sit and watch as people indulge in tubs of chocolates, endless cheese boards and of course the big family festive dinner - this was the reality year after year for chocolatier Chris Crutchley who suffers with terrible food intolerances.

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Before creating Enjoy! - a vegan-friendly chocolate whose recipes are free from the 14 major allergens - Chris would feel left out every Christmas, unable to afford himself the treats on offer which others wouldn’t think twice about taking pleasure in. 

“Due to my intolerances I have gone without over the festive period on many occasions. I have even missed out on proper Christmas dinners in the past and certainly haven’t been able to satisfy my sweet tooth a lot of the time,” said Chris, 55.

“If I eat something I’m intolerant to, the effects manifest themselves in a number of ways. I may have stomach problems, have no energy and feel lethargic, have difficulty in thinking and concentrating, get severe itchy eyes, constipation and generally feel dreadful. It can ruin the festive period, which no one wants, but so many people will be able to relate to.

“But in avoiding those symptoms, it’s also not particularly nice to have to refrain from all the things everyone else loves about Christmas, and sometimes you can feel a bit withdrawn, unable to take part in all the fun everyone else is having.”

Chris is not alone. It is estimated by The Association of UK Dietitians that between 1% and 10% of adults and children in the country have a food hypersensitivity. However, as many as 20% of the population experience some reactions to foods which make them believe they do have a food hypersensitivity.

According to the Food Standards Agency there are an estimated two million people living in the UK with a diagnosed food allergy - and many of these people will be dreading Christmas.

But help is at hand as Enjoy! chocolate is suitable for many of those who suffer with intolerances or allergies. 

“I decided to spend time working out how I could get around my intolerances, but also have a treat which was actually enjoyable too,” said Chris.

After 15 years of not being able to eat chocolate and numerous other foods he started experimenting in the kitchen at home making chocolate using organic, raw and natural ingredients. 

Enjoy!’s base recipe contains just three organic ingredients - cacao powder, cacao butter and coconut sugar. 

Chris and his wife Steph have now developed a 26-product strong chocolate range which is stocked in the likes of Holland & Barrett, helping thousands with food intolerances like Chris, as well as allergy sufferers, to be able to enjoy their Christmas too. 

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To help others through the festivities Chris has pulled together his top tips for those with restrictive dietary requirements...

Chris’ top tips 

1. Plan ahead. Whether it’s a Christmas party with colleagues or a Boxing Day meal out with your close family, restaurants are usually quite good at catering for the free-from market now but that’s no reason you can’t get one step ahead of the game. Check out the menu ahead of the day itself and see what’s available for you to choose from. If you have food allergies, make sure you take your card with you displaying your allergies to make it abundantly clear what you can and can’t have. 

2 Stock up. Stock up on your favourite goodies and free-from replacements you know work and take them with you when you’re visiting a friend’s house. Especially sweet treats - there’s nothing worse than everyone enjoying a mince pie with their tipple except you! 

3. Let people know in advance. If a friend or family member has invited you round for a festive celebration, let them know ahead of time about your allergies or food intolerances. They may be able to cater for you, or you could offer to bring your own alternatives - to make sure there’s no cross-contamination.  

4. Take advantage of offers. Whether it’s Black Friday, Cyber Monday or early January sales, offers are in abundance this time of year. Pencil in the offer’s validation dates and plan a trip to your local supermarket, locate the free-from or vegan aisle and treat yourself to trying out some new products!

5. Don’t give in. You don’t want to ruin your own Christmas by giving into a tempting treat that won’t agree with you, in a moment of weakness. Stay strong, then reward yourself either with an edible treat you know you can safely eat, or an activity you enjoy doing.

Enjoy!’s very own Michelin-star chef Tyrone who works with Chris at the Andover-based factory, has created some delicious recipes for people with intolerances and allergies to try this festive season. 

Mint Chocolate Tart

Ingredients

Cocoa Pastry Cases

100g gluten-free flour

25g coconut sugar

50g coconut fat

15g Enjoy! cocoa drinking powder

1g xanthan gum

25 ml water

Mint Chocolate Filling

50g Enjoy! Magical Mint chocolate

50g coconut sugar

100ml coconut milk

Method

Cocoa Pastry Cases

1. Combine gluten free flour, coconut sugar, coconut fat, Enjoy! Cocoa Drink 

2. Powder and xanthan gum in a food processor and mix for 1 minute

3. Add water and mix well for 1 more minute

4. Tip out pastry, wrap and leave to rest for 1 hour in a cool place

5. ‘Dust’ table top/surface with spare flour and roll out pastry

6. Cut 4 discs using 9cm diameter tart cases (or one whole piece for a larger tart)

7. Line cases with pastry, then prick bottom of the tarts with a fork

8. Cook for 8-10 minutes at 160c

9. Leave to cool

Filling

10. Use a Bain Marie to heat the Enjoy! Magical Mint chocolate until it has completely melted

11. Use a small amount of the melted chocolate and brush on the inside of the pastry cases

12. Combine and boil coconut milk and coconut sugar for around 30 seconds to make a syrup, then allow to cool for 5 minutes

14. Combine the syrup and melted chocolate, then mix until it’s a smooth and thick consistency

15. Pour into your pastry case, then leave to cool in the fridge for 3 hours

16. Decorate with a sprig of mint (optional)

Decadent Double Chocolate Chunk Cupcakes  

Ingredients

Cupcakes

250g gluten free flour

80g Enjoy! Captivating Coconut chocolate

300g coconut sugar

65g Enjoy! hot cocoa powder

5g baking powder

5g salt

250ml water

250ml vegetable oil

1 tsp vanilla extract

1g of Xanthan gum

Ganache

80g Enjoy! Captivating Coconut chocolate

160g coconut sugar

80g coconut milk

Method

Cupcakes

1. Preheat oven to 175c

2. Roughly chop ‘Enjoy! Coconut Milk bar’ into chunks

3. Sift flour, Coconut sugar, ‘Enjoy! Cocoa Drink Powder’, baking powder, salt and xanthan gum

4. Add chocolate and stir together

5. Pour in water, vegetable oil and vanilla, then mix well

6. Bake for 10-12 minutes

7. When cool, add the chocolate ganache

Ganache

7. Use a Bain Marie to heat Enjoy! Captivating Coconut chocolate until it has completely melted

8. Combine and boil coconut milk and coconut sugar for around 30 seconds to make a syrup, then allow to cool for 5 minutes

9. Combine the syrup and melted chocolate, then mix until it has a smooth and thick consistency

10. Chill the mixture in the fridge for 1 hour, then bring back to room temperature and beat with a wooden spoon until it becomes 11. an icing consistency

12. Spoon into a piping bag fitted with a star nozzle and apply to cupcakes

13. Roughly snap any remaining Enjoy! Captivating Coconut chocolate and place into ganache (optional)

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READ NEXT

[12stepprogram1]

What Is Semen Made Of And Where Does It Come From?

What Is Semen Made Of And Where Does It Come From? is courtesy of: Knowmystatus.life STD Check

For Men , STDs

by Lauren Crain

July 31, 2018

5 mins read

What Is Semen Made Of And Where Does It Come From?

Have you ever been late-night googling and found yourself in a Google hole? Let’s say you start googling Kylie Jenner, then you fall into looking at information about her and Travis Scott. That leads you to their baby, Stormi, which reminds you of Stormy Daniels, which makes you google Stormy Daniels’ affair with Trump. Then you start to wonder how old Trump was when he had the affair, because, le’ts face it, he’s no spring chicken. This gets you wondering how the male reproductive system works into old age, which makes you google: How does semen work and what is it made of?

Well, if you’ve reached our page due to an extensive late-night Google binge: Welcome; we’re glad you’re here. And we won’t bore you with any more filler about Stormy Daniels (Trump was 60, btw). Instead, we’ll get to the real reason you’re here: to find out about this alien-like substance that squirts out of half of the population’s genitals.

So let’s dive right in and talk about what the heck semen is, where it comes from, and what it’s made of.

What is Semen?

Let’s start with the basics: Semen and sperm are not the same thing.

Sperm is just one of the many components of semen, though, arguably the most vital. The other elements are there to help aid the sperm in getting to its end goal: an egg. These other parts help the sperm by assisting with its mobility, lubrication, and even reducing the resistance of the egg to the sperm (yes, eggs fight against the sperm, just like the Trump administration fights against foreigners [that’s right; we’re edgy]).

A typical male can produce anywhere from 2 – 6 mL of semen when ejaculating. For comparison, a US teaspoon is about 5 mL, so a guy’s jazz can be about half or a little more than the amount of vanilla extract you put into cookies. *Disclaimer: We don’t advise adding this secret ingredient to cookies of any kind*

Where does Semen Come From?

Semen comes from the genitals of men. Not specific enough for you? Then let’s get into the nitty-gritty.

It all starts with sperm. Sperm is produced by the testes and is stored in the epididymis. Think of the epididymis as a reservoir in the back of the testicles. From this reservoir, the sperm travels upstream (through the vas deferens) with its eyes set on the ejaculatory ducts where it will be ready for launch.

As the sperm travels through the vas deferens, it encounters some pretty steep hills and realizes it can’t make it by itself. That’s where the little guy’s friends come in. Other parts of the reproductive system see the sperm struggling, so they mix in their fluids to help it reach its goal. These fluids come from the seminal vesicles, the prostate, and the bulbourethral glands.

Components of Semen

Now that you know the basic elements of semen, you might be wondering what fluid comes from where, and what’s the makeup of these fluid components. Don’t worry, dear reader! We’ve got you covered on all the seminal organ elements.

Testes

Sperm comes from the testicles and accounts for ~2-5% of all semen. While this may not seem like a lot, there are 20 – 100 million little spermies per mL of ejaculate. And because men produce anywhere from 2 – 6 mL of semen, some can shoot out 600 million spermatozoa in one single ejaculation! #Yikes

*Fun Fact* Some like it hot, but sperm likes it cold. About 2-3 degrees cooler than the body’s temperature, that is. Sperm thrives in colder environments and the testicles provide that. It’s true; testes don’t hang outside of the body for pure aesthetics (lol), they actually hang because they need to stay cool. Take a note from this pair if you’re ever looking for pointers on how to hang out and chill.

Seminal Vesicles

The seminal vesicles are a pair of coiled glands located below the bladder and next to the vas deferens. This is where the bulk of the semen comes from– about 70% to be exact.

The fluid that comes out of the vesicles contains proteins, ascorbic acid, amino acids, phosphorus, potassium, l-carnitine, among other nutrients. But it’s mainly made up of fructose, or broken-down sugar, which provides sperm with the energy needed to travel upstream.

*Fun Fact* The female body views sperm as a foreign agent and actively works to reject it. Fluid from the seminal vesicles contains prostaglandins which help the sperm sneak in undetected. Creepy, right?

Prostate Gland

The prostate gland is located beneath the bladder and in front of the rectum. About 25% of semen is made up of liquid produced by the prostate.

Fluid that emerges from the prostate is made up of acid phosphate, citric acid, calcium, zinc, and magnesium. Of these, zinc is the most prolific and the most vital, as it helps stabilize the sperm’s DNA. This is also where semen gets its color and taste. 

*Fun Fact* The prostate also produces a fluid called prostatic specific antigen. This liquifies the semen and allows the sperm to swim freely.

Bulbourethral Glands

The remaining <1% of semen comes from the bulbourethral glands. These babies sit near the base of the penis and are about the size of a pea.

When a man is sexually aroused, the glands secrete a mucus which lubricates the penis head, neutralizes the acidity of the vagina, and eliminates any leftover urine from the urethra. Basically, its job is to make sure everything runs smoothly.

*Fun Fact* The secretion from these glands are typically what is referred to as “pre-cum,” and contains no sperm! However, if a man has recently ejaculated, the pre-cum can sometimes pick up and carry out leftover sperm, so keep that in mind.

Talk About a Load of Information!

Wow. A lot goes into those 5 seconds of ecstasy. Who knew that the reproductive system was working so hard just to produce a teaspoon’s worth of baby gravy. Now the next time you, your partner, or anyone who has a weiner ejaculates, you can tell them that you know all about it.

To think, this all started because of a Google search for Kylie Jenner. And if you’re interested in continuing down this rabbit hole of information, check out our Benefits of Semen post to learn how all of these components come together to provide benefits for your body. We break it down into easy-to-swallow chunks.

While you’re here, be sure to get that man milk tested for STDs. Just because you know where it comes from, doesn’t mean you know where it’s been.

Medically Reviewed by J. Frank Martin JR., MD on October 1, 2018

from Know My Status- STD Test https://ift.tt/31hbJOi via IFTTT

[newhopediscoveries]

What Is Semen Made Of And Where Does It Come From?

What Is Semen Made Of And Where Does It Come From? is courtesy of: Knowmystatus.life STD Check

For Men , STDs

by Lauren Crain

July 31, 2018

5 mins read

What Is Semen Made Of And Where Does It Come From?

Have you ever been late-night googling and found yourself in a Google hole? Let’s say you start googling Kylie Jenner, then you fall into looking at information about her and Travis Scott. That leads you to their baby, Stormi, which reminds you of Stormy Daniels, which makes you google Stormy Daniels’ affair with Trump. Then you start to wonder how old Trump was when he had the affair, because, le’ts face it, he’s no spring chicken. This gets you wondering how the male reproductive system works into old age, which makes you google: How does semen work and what is it made of?

Well, if you’ve reached our page due to an extensive late-night Google binge: Welcome; we’re glad you’re here. And we won’t bore you with any more filler about Stormy Daniels (Trump was 60, btw). Instead, we’ll get to the real reason you’re here: to find out about this alien-like substance that squirts out of half of the population’s genitals.

So let’s dive right in and talk about what the heck semen is, where it comes from, and what it’s made of.

What is Semen?

Let’s start with the basics: Semen and sperm are not the same thing.

Sperm is just one of the many components of semen, though, arguably the most vital. The other elements are there to help aid the sperm in getting to its end goal: an egg. These other parts help the sperm by assisting with its mobility, lubrication, and even reducing the resistance of the egg to the sperm (yes, eggs fight against the sperm, just like the Trump administration fights against foreigners [that’s right; we’re edgy]).

A typical male can produce anywhere from 2 – 6 mL of semen when ejaculating. For comparison, a US teaspoon is about 5 mL, so a guy’s jazz can be about half or a little more than the amount of vanilla extract you put into cookies. *Disclaimer: We don’t advise adding this secret ingredient to cookies of any kind*

Where does Semen Come From?

Semen comes from the genitals of men. Not specific enough for you? Then let’s get into the nitty-gritty.

It all starts with sperm. Sperm is produced by the testes and is stored in the epididymis. Think of the epididymis as a reservoir in the back of the testicles. From this reservoir, the sperm travels upstream (through the vas deferens) with its eyes set on the ejaculatory ducts where it will be ready for launch.

As the sperm travels through the vas deferens, it encounters some pretty steep hills and realizes it can’t make it by itself. That’s where the little guy’s friends come in. Other parts of the reproductive system see the sperm struggling, so they mix in their fluids to help it reach its goal. These fluids come from the seminal vesicles, the prostate, and the bulbourethral glands.

Components of Semen

Now that you know the basic elements of semen, you might be wondering what fluid comes from where, and what’s the makeup of these fluid components. Don’t worry, dear reader! We’ve got you covered on all the seminal organ elements.

Testes

Sperm comes from the testicles and accounts for ~2-5% of all semen. While this may not seem like a lot, there are 20 – 100 million little spermies per mL of ejaculate. And because men produce anywhere from 2 – 6 mL of semen, some can shoot out 600 million spermatozoa in one single ejaculation! #Yikes

*Fun Fact* Some like it hot, but sperm likes it cold. About 2-3 degrees cooler than the body’s temperature, that is. Sperm thrives in colder environments and the testicles provide that. It’s true; testes don’t hang outside of the body for pure aesthetics (lol), they actually hang because they need to stay cool. Take a note from this pair if you’re ever looking for pointers on how to hang out and chill.

Seminal Vesicles

The seminal vesicles are a pair of coiled glands located below the bladder and next to the vas deferens. This is where the bulk of the semen comes from– about 70% to be exact.

The fluid that comes out of the vesicles contains proteins, ascorbic acid, amino acids, phosphorus, potassium, l-carnitine, among other nutrients. But it’s mainly made up of fructose, or broken-down sugar, which provides sperm with the energy needed to travel upstream.

*Fun Fact* The female body views sperm as a foreign agent and actively works to reject it. Fluid from the seminal vesicles contains prostaglandins which help the sperm sneak in undetected. Creepy, right?

Prostate Gland

The prostate gland is located beneath the bladder and in front of the rectum. About 25% of semen is made up of liquid produced by the prostate.

Fluid that emerges from the prostate is made up of acid phosphate, citric acid, calcium, zinc, and magnesium. Of these, zinc is the most prolific and the most vital, as it helps stabilize the sperm’s DNA. This is also where semen gets its color and taste. 

*Fun Fact* The prostate also produces a fluid called prostatic specific antigen. This liquifies the semen and allows the sperm to swim freely.

Bulbourethral Glands

The remaining <1% of semen comes from the bulbourethral glands. These babies sit near the base of the penis and are about the size of a pea.

When a man is sexually aroused, the glands secrete a mucus which lubricates the penis head, neutralizes the acidity of the vagina, and eliminates any leftover urine from the urethra. Basically, its job is to make sure everything runs smoothly.

*Fun Fact* The secretion from these glands are typically what is referred to as “pre-cum,” and contains no sperm! However, if a man has recently ejaculated, the pre-cum can sometimes pick up and carry out leftover sperm, so keep that in mind.

Talk About a Load of Information!

Wow. A lot goes into those 5 seconds of ecstasy. Who knew that the reproductive system was working so hard just to produce a teaspoon’s worth of baby gravy. Now the next time you, your partner, or anyone who has a weiner ejaculates, you can tell them that you know all about it.

To think, this all started because of a Google search for Kylie Jenner. And if you’re interested in continuing down this rabbit hole of information, check out our Benefits of Semen post to learn how all of these components come together to provide benefits for your body. We break it down into easy-to-swallow chunks.

While you’re here, be sure to get that man milk tested for STDs. Just because you know where it comes from, doesn’t mean you know where it’s been.

Medically Reviewed by J. Frank Martin JR., MD on October 1, 2018

from Know My Status- STD Test https://ift.tt/31hbJOi via IFTTT