#theowlgivesaguide

[cosmicsnowcryptid]

Hey, hailey. First of all, I must say, I REALLY admire your work. I'd love to make a blog similar to yours, with my own works of art and my own writings and all that, but I have one serious problem: confidence. My confidence levels are -1000, as it stands, and I can never leave anything online for more than an hour before I take it down. I can't even ask out of anon. Do you have any advice?

I inspired you?

[looks around] 

You sure you have the right blog? Hailey? Me? Do you mean @haleyscomett-art? She’s the actual arti- oh, you’re sure. Well, okay. I don’t know why that’s the case, but that makes me really happy. Thank you for the kind words!

I have gotten this question a few times and danced around it a bit, but I think it’s time I give a real answer.

This one’s a little long, so here’s a quick table of contents that you can skim to see if you’re really interested.

Part 1: Believing that you have the talent within you- lessons from Van Gogh

Part 2: Letting others see your imperfect art, and being okay with it- lessons from Mark Fischbach

Part 3: How to keep going, even when you don’t feel too confident- lessons from Lin-Manuel Miranda, with a guest appearance 

Part 4: Yay! We’re done! Here’s some closing thoughts.

Part 1: Believing that you have the talent within you- lessons from Van Gogh

I used to do the same thing- post and take down immediately, sit in my own anxiety, simultaneously hope that people saw it and that no one saw it. It’s a confusing feeling, and I understand.

Here’s what I’ve got to say about that.

There is something in you that wanted to post your work. It’s not that you want attention- there are plenty of ways to achieve that. No, you wanted your work to get attention. And why is that? Because deep down, you know it’s good.

Bear with me on this one, because I know you’re already frowning and telling me that it’s not. But hey, don’t interrupt me, lovely, ‘cause I’m not done. 

There are two kinds of “good”. There’s good in the technical sense, which is what you’re talking about. Smooth lines, good shading, proper proportions. And yes, those things are important. But the second type of “good” is much more important, and it’s the emotional kind. Passion for the subject. Care taken to create the details or the colors- or the vulnerability to crash things that may not make sense on a page because it reflects what you feel. The clear love it takes to put in the sheer amount of time and effort required for art. You give the art emotion, and the viewers will have emotion as well.

This is why you can see something that is astounding in a technical sense, but doesn’t really affect you too deeply. You analyze the perfect structure, and you say, “this is really cool! This couldn’t have been done better.” And you are impressed. But something feels… off about it. A little cold, in a way. Detached.

My father is a professor. This hangs on the wall of one of his classrooms. This is definitely art- someone worked hard on this and this shows obvious precision and skill. Now, it’s perfect for its purpose, obviously, but look at it as an art piece. You don’t feel anything when looking at it, do you? I mean, maybe mildly freaked out by the face, or a bit curious about the text, but it doesn’t invoke anything in you.

Now look at this.

Did you feel that? That little tiny feeling in your chest?

This is called The Starry Night Over The Rhone, and it’s by someone considered to be one of the greatest painters of all time. Vincent Van Gogh. You might have known it already, just by looking at it. (We’re pretending you didn’t read the title of this section. Shhh.)

Look at it again.

There’s no doubt that Van Gogh had technical skill, sure, but is that what really makes the piece for you? Because if so, I have some bad news for you. 

This was in a letter he sent to a friend. This is what it looks like without all of the emotional backing.

Now, I can hear what you’re saying. “But Hailey! That’s not fair to say, because the way he uses colors is a technical skill.” And you’re right! But let’s look at a photo of the actual place. (Source)

Take a minute to look at the sky. Now scroll up, and look at the sky in the painting again. 

He wasn’t painting the sky as he saw it. He was painting the sky as he felt it.

Now, I want you to look at this. 

I know you know this one. This is Starry Night. It’s a similar painting, but doesn’t it feel… different? It feels a little… sadder, doesn’t it? 

The first painting was the view from his apartment. The second one was the view from his asylum window.

Looking at them and knowing that… it makes sense, doesn’t it? Somehow, a little part of you is going, “yeah. I understand.”

I bring all this up to make an important point- if your lack of confidence is because you can’t draw straight lines, or your proportions are off, or the shapes are all wrong, you can throw those thoughts out the window. You say you keep sharing and deleting your art. You share it because of the emotional backing, and you delete it when you second-guess it based on technical skill. 

You don’t become a Van Gogh by deleting everything with faulty lines. Look at those faults. Address them head on. Say to them, “yeah, you aren’t right. You look off. I don’t like that. But the good news is, I can improve on this as long as I don’t give up. In the mean time, I’m going to put all my love into you, and that will be enough for now. It will make you good, because I care, and that’s half the battle.” Your emotional investment and skill is necessary to develop your technical skills, and if you have that, your art WILL improve. Period. Full stop. 

Part 2: Letting others see your imperfect art, and being okay with it- lessons from Mark Fischbach

Now I’m going to tell you a personal story about my own art.

“Seriously? You just used Van Gogh as an example, and now you’re going to talk about yourself?”

Yes, I am. I may not be Van Gogh, but I’d bet that you aren’t, either. I know a lot about lacking confidence in sharing art, and I recently learned a very important lesson about it that I’m about to share with you.

Also, stop interrupting me, hypothetical reader. It’s rude.

I have always lacked confidence in my own art. I tried posting some a few years back, and I got some anon hate for it. Then I quit art completely for a good two years. My confidence was so flimsy that one single rude person was enough to drive me from the hobby that I loved so much. I tried to get back into it when I went to college- I took a figure drawing class, sure that I could get on the right track. 

I dropped it halfway through the semester.

I thought I was done for good. I had pushed it away, gotten more realistic dreams. And then Markiplier hit 17 million subscribers.

Yes, the Youtuber. @markiplier. That one. 

No, get back here.There’s a point to all this, I promise.

I’ve followed him for years. I remember hitting 2 million (side note: I wish I had reached out to him back then instead of being such a lurker!) and I still watch his videos every day. He saved my life. Now, that’s a whole different story, but the point is that I felt as though I owed him a lot, and so I decided, despite my hesitation, to borrow my roommate’s drawing tablet and try again. 

By this point, I had not attempted to draw in years, and… uh… it really, really showed.

I wrote a whole gushy story about it (which you can read here- I won’t try to detail the whole thing again, because, as you can see, I babble way too much, and this is already impossibly long), which made this an even more vulnerable thing for me, took a deep breath, and posted it. 

Not even ten minutes later, someone tried to tear me down. 

Other notable asks include these gems:

“If you’re shy about your art, it’s for a reason.” 

“If anything creative is your dream, you need a new dream.” 

Oof. That’s harsh, and I felt every word. It stung. And I probably would have given up again right there, if not for this:

Can you imagine the confidence boost I got from that? Because I’ll tell you, it went from 0-60 faster than a high-speed roller coaster, my friend.

After that, all I could do was draw. It reignited my passion, and I lost a lot of sleep just trying to make more and more art. 

In the span of a few days, I went from this: 

to this:

So, why am I telling you this? Is it to toot my own horn? No. To show off? Extra no. Do I think it’s perfect? EXTREMELY NO. In fact, I don’t think it’s even good! I could spend five straight days trying to fix his mouth alone, and I still wouldn’t be satisfied. But the point isn’t that it’s good objectively. The point is that it’s worlds better comparatively speaking. There’s a huge difference in skill level there, and that difference came from confidence. Not confidence that I’m any good, mind you, but confidence that I could one day be good, as long as I kept pressing forward, and sharing my progress with the world could only motivate me.

 I’m so fortunate that someone I admire so much reminded me of this, but you don’t need your hero to tell you that you’re good for you to feel confident. The only person who needs to convince you is you. I was actively rejecting it, which is why I needed it from an outside source- but if you are determined, you can make your own confidence. I’ll make a whole separate post on finding confidence at some point, but I know you’re tired of hearing me talk about myself in this part, so we’ll move on for now. Here’s the main thing you need to remember when it comes to sharing your art:

No matter your skill level, you are improving with every step you take. You can be proud of yourself for having the courage to be vulnerable and show the world a part of you. You are brave, and no one- not people who discourage you, not unimpressed friends and family, not cowardly anons who seek only to tear you down- can take that away from you.

Part 3: How to keep going, even when you don’t feel too confident- lessons from Lin-Manuel Miranda, with a guest appearance

Sometimes I really struggle with motivation, no matter how passionate I am. It’s just human nature. The problem is, when your motivation leaves and you stop working, you stop improving. That makes it so much harder to start again, because you feel like you’re starting over every time. You get trapped in a cycle that kills your confidence.

If this has already happened to you, it’s okay. There’s a beautiful concept called a second chance, and, despite the misleading name, you have a million of them. There’s no better time to try again than today. 

That being said, there’s only one way to stop this cycle from happening. In the words of a certain Shia LaBeouf meme: If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up. I’m not linking it. You know the one.

Okay, maybe I’ll link it. Just once.

Now, this is easier said than done. Oh, do I know that. But the core of sticking with something isn’t staying motivated at all times. That’s just not possible. No, the way to keep going is to form a habit and commit to it. For this, I’m going to bring in my writing inspiration that I admire from a distance at all times good friend, Lin-Manuel Miranda. (I recommend you follow him on Twitter if you don’t already. He will be the light of your life immediately.)

@linmanuel wrote the musical Hamilton, if you weren’t already aware, and he’s the embodiment of the line, “How do you write like you’re running out of time?”

He never seems to run out of words. He makes everything he does look effortless, and he does so much of it. He’s just naturally gifted, right?

No. Not even, and I think it does him a great disservice to say he is. He became a talent powerhouse because he worked his butt off every day of his life in order to do what he loves. 

He wrote the soundtrack for Moana while doing 8 shows a week as the star of Hamilton, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to his multitasking. You can argue about natural talent all you want, but that sort of thing doesn’t just happen because “he’s got more energy than me!”. It’s because of his steadfast dedication to his craft. He keeps going, whether he has inspiration or not. He stays positive and commits to putting something down on the paper, and he’s not afraid of making mistakes. 

Mistakes are how you learn. If everyone quit every time they made a mistake, no one would have ever accomplished anything, and that isn’t an exaggeration. Failure is how we learn. Don’t be afraid to keep trying, to keep building your habits, even when you fail. That’s the only true path to success. 

Part 4: Yay! We’re done! Here’s some closing thoughts.

You made it to the bottom! Wow! And this thing was really long, too. How’d you do that?

Well, I’m glad you did, because now I have the chance to tell you this: I believe in you, and it’s okay if you don’t believe in yourself yet. Sometimes, instead of having confidence or dedication or skill, you just need to believe that it’s possible to have confidence and dedication and skill, as long as you keep working on it. 

Keep going. You’ll get there. I promise.

And hey, you, don’t forget- I love you, and I’m rooting for you.