#theo tag ;; they saw trouble in my eyes and were quick to recognize the devil in me

[thvndersnow]

;; POSTING THIS ONE TOO,

man. theo in the arcology and theo creating lumina. these are parallels. maybe that is not the correct word. the arcology was a place of hopelessness, and yet, and yet. the arcology taught him that no one was going to save him, and yet. the arcology told him that he would have to carve out a living alone, with no one at his side but his ghost, and eventually he would die there and no one would have even known his name. and yet, when his light was returned and he was surrounded and sure to fall, sloane's hand reached out.

when he found thorn it sang for him. imagine that. a weapon of sorrow, the weapon of sorrow, and for him it made music. imho, and it's fine if you see things differently, but i think thorn is just a little sentient, if not fully sentient. i think it would have to be to have the influence it does. it was those initial notes that convinced theo it was not past the point of saving. he held it in his hands and heard it sing and said alright, then. you and me.

thorn sapped away at his hope. thorn told him that the only person he could ever rely on was himself. thorn told him that when he died there would be no one at his side, so he may as well drive them all away now. the only power to be had was in the deep. he doesn't know the sort of man yor was beneath it all, when he was yor or rezzyl, he doesn't know how much of this nihilism was yor's and how much was thorn's and how much was them speaking in tandem. but he knew the rhetoric was wrong. he knew it because he'd lived it. so he reached out his hand.

idk there's something that feels inspiring in an almost self-indulgent way about crafting hope from pain. weapon of sorrow, weapon of hope. being able to say, i know where you're coming from, but there's another way.

lumina's a weapon that heals. there's something about that.

[thvndersnow]

“ah, yes, ahsa… did say that.”

his gaze falls away again, and this time, he cannot take his eyes off his own hands as they give a little fidget. that paranoia creeps up on the edges of his brain again; savathun and theo have a history, one he is not keen on dredging back up. while it wasn’t her fault he’d been rezzed in the arcology, nor was the timing of the red war her doing – so far as he’s aware – it was savathun who conspired to keep him trapped there throughout the duration of the war. lightless and newly rezzed, with only his ghost for company, theo had lived out something akin to thrallhood. he’d only found this out later, while savathun was trapped in her crystal prison, but she’d done so to raise him as one of her brood.

just the thought makes him queasy, that the horror that was his first year was calculated, planned for. taking her down himself had not helped him settle those thoughts. if anything, they’d only made him more unsure.

“...i agree with you, that she’s dangerous, and unlikely to help, at least not in a very direct way.” his ears pin back. “but i also have to admit… she might be our best chance. as much as i hate the thought, she knows more about our enemy than we could hope to without her answers. and the traveler did choose her – i have to think it must have been for a reason.

“i will be honest, i’m having a hard time reconciling that in my head. i agree that all of this is, well… gnarly. to put it mildly.”

misraaks hesitates at the question, chitters and clicks well up as he heaves a sigh. "old wounds and new have resurfaced among house light. it is one to chase the great machine for centuries. it is another to see it bleeding out."

his words are careful. measured. chosen so he doesn't betray how he feels but he doubts he can push back for very long. as a kell, he must keep his own doubts and worries in check to ease the minds of his people. but they still weigh him down, and he can only carry them for so long before it begins to poison his mind.

"as for myself... i still mourn our losses, as i mourn amanda. i must trust that the light will provide but..." he trails off. it's hard to trust that given their current circumstances.

"and i have heard the worm on titan is advising the witch queen's revival. i fear nothing good will come of it. we tread dangerous oceans. it is difficult to see the shore."

[thunderclaap]

☽–;; @fyrehearted​ and me are making each other sad about the twins

[thvndersnow]

;; also it’s really funny to think about shin malphur going to check on where he stashed The Thorn and finding it not there only to realize later that it got picked up by a 3yo titan w the anxiety of a neurotic prey animal and not only that but the idiot somehow purified the damn thing??? fucking imagine what was going on in shin malphur’s brain during that

[thvndersnow]

show me that sweet sweet height difference between the twins - 5'3"

;; tiny trans titan twins tiny trans titan twins

[thvndersnow]

;; posting the ramble i made about theo being unable to kill hive ghosts here;

theo is like. i describe him as an anarchist, with a strong sense of justice. he will stand up and fight bare fist against anyone who he thinks might be standing in the way of true justice. but even so, he is ultimately gentle, and his dichotomy of radical beliefs and gentle nature are important. he was near-feral in the archology and literally had to teach himself to gentle himself after -- his patience and selflessness is active work he modeled after his sister, it does not come easy to him -- but once he reached that gentleness he knew he could never leave it. i think i've said this before but the active work he puts in to staying gentle even with Everything is the only reason he could withstand the influence of the original Thorn.

and he holds his religion dear to him. he views the traveler and the ghosts the same as julia, as the divine made manifest.

he originally viewed the hive as the antithesis to the light. where for him, the light meant togetherness and community, the hive were the ultimate symbol of his isolation. so when he sees a hive ghost for the first time i think a part of his heart breaks? but he still can't bring himself to harm it. he can't. to do so would be to go against his entire belief structure.

[thvndersnow]

;; the new dungeon gave me a lot of thoughts and feelings about theo's time in the arcology and i'm sitting here vibrating about it

thinking about him in that biodome. it wasn't a safe space, per se, but it was the location he was rezzed, and it was a reprieve from the hive nests and cold hallways he was used to. instead of crawling through vents to avoid the thrall, he could climb halfway up a tree and watch them scramble about beneath him. it's part of why he became such a hunter-like titan when he was rescued; being in that man-made forest was the closest thing he could get to happiness in his first year alive.

[thvndersnow]

;; theo getting to go back to the moon that fucking ruined him let's fucking get it. feels like coming home but with a pit of dread in his stomach while he's feeling it.

[thvndersnow]

;; something i feel is important to understanding theo’s creation of lumina is his paralleling dredgen yor.

rezyl azzir was an arc titan — so is theo, though his light takes unique shape. rezyl azzir went into a hive nest alone, stayed in there for days, and came out changed. theo was rezzed within a hive nest; he often thinks about the titan he might be had his ghost found him somewhere else. and before rezyl azzir was corrupted, he held a deep sense of justice, so deep that he didn’t want anyone to know it was him that became yor even after his corruption - he didn’t want that hero’s image tainted. in the same vein, theo has strong convictions about what is right and what is wrong, inspired by his twin sister, and aspired to do something good for humanity.

theo was similar to rezyl in so many ways, even in the way he held anger deep within him that could have become something truly dark if he hadn’t had that light to follow. i often think about him finding thorn (because he was not given it like the YW is in game; theo found it, and i don’t imagine shin malphur was super happy about that, and that surely won’t come back to bite theo in the ass), and i think about the rose within thorn, just for a second, wondering if its old master is back.

theo cleansing thorn into lumina is something i think about often. he found this creation of almost pure darkness and saw the light within it. his desperation to give humanity a spark of hope in desperate times, wanting to prove that nothing is ever too far gone, is the reason he didn’t turn into another yor.

[thvndersnow]

;; also hey. while i'm here. theo's ref sheet.

(no armor because i am. still unsure what i want from it lol)

[thvndersnow]

THEO VESH ;;

name ; theo vesh species ; second-gen awoken, earthborn pronouns ; he/him/his gender ; trans man sexuality ; gay class/subclass ; icecracker titan ghost: strange (he/him)

phys. description ; 4'10 1/2" with dark, purple-blue skin covered in white freckles. hair is moon-white and curled, cut short and shaved into an undercut. wears gold facial and ear piercings (pictured). theo is of a muscular build typical for a titan despite his short stature, but he tends to hold on to fat around his hips and thighs. out of armor, he dresses in darker, "alt"-style street clothes. his eyes have black sceleras, and his irises/pupils resemble a pair of moons that change phase alongside the actual moon when he's on earth.

light abilities ; while theo is technically an arc-based striker titan, his arc light manifests by drawing energy in rather than expelling energy out, resulting in the creation of ice crystals and snow. this similar in ways to stasis in appearance, but his light does not form perfect crystals in the way stasis does. while not technically light abilities, theo has inherited an unrefined precognitive ability that only activates in his dreams from his awoken heritage. he is not trained on how to use it and is often very bad at interpreting and utilizing these dreams -- they really only serve to freak him out.

personality ; theo deals with heavy anxieties, a phobia towards hive, and trauma from his time in the arcology. he loves fiercely and loudly, especially people within what he considers his family, and he looks up to his twin sister like she is the sun. while he can be petty, and easy to anger, he is of the ultimate belief that mutual cooperation and support of one another is the only way to beat back the darkness, and so he tries his hand at altruism and diplomacy whenever possible - which is why his views towards the eliksni and cabal tend to be more favorable than those other guardians might have.

brief history ; theo was rezzed in the arcology on titan two hours before the start of the Red War. for the next year, he was trapped, scrabbling lightless through the dark with only his ghost, strange, for company. when the traveler was freed and his light was returned to him in an explosive burst of arc he was finally found and extracted, living and learning under sloane until another titan was able to bring him to the last city, where he re-found and reunited with his twin sister, julia.

theo's time in the arcology left him skittish and fearful, especially in regards to hive. he still wakes up panicking, and has a hard time being around hive nests.

generally, i say theo was a part of the events of shadowkeep, witch queen, and the vow of the disciple raid, as well as season of the dawn with his twin sister julia, and acted as a liaison to the eliksni quarter in season of the splicer. he is also the one who cleansed the thorn into lumina, which acts as his signature weapon.

@lepiidopterophobia is his main savathun, and orchestrated a lot of events in the arcology specifically aimed at honing him into a stronger lightbearer; despite his protests, she sees him as one of her brood. i will not be doing a similar relationship dynamic with other savathuns.

tags ; gen tag | hc tag | aesthetics/musings tag | ic tag | gen ship tag

[thvndersnow]

TAG DUMP 1 ;;

ooc and gen tags + first round of character tags

GEN:

ooc ;; your enormous eyebags have captivated me

info ;; from marathon to waterloo in order categorical

ramblings ;; noises and what they mean

gen hc ;; you can hide a lot about yourself but honey what are you gonna do?

answered ;; tell me all about your problems i was killing before killing was cool

ask memes ;; look who's inside again

promo ;; now this? this is beautiful

self promo ;; see the artistry in tearing the place apart with me

--

THEO TAGS:

theo tag ;; they saw trouble in my eyes and were quick to recognize the devil in me

theo hc ;; i was made to become a sanctuary

theo aes ;; my soul is painted like the wings of butterflies

theo ic ;; i wanna take shelter but i'm ready to fight

--

ASTRID TAGS:

astrid tag ;; i want to watch the world burn; i brought the gasoline

astrid hc ;; the thrill of control is the sweetest taste i've known

astrid aes ;; whiskey and french cigarettes

astrid ic ;; this is performance; this is a self defense

--

JACKAL TAGS:

jackal tag ;; we all wanna party when a funeral ends

jackal hc ;; we are all a bunch of liars; tell me baby who do you wanna be?

jackal aes ;; pretty in pink

jackal ic ;; the kids don't care if you're alright honey

[thvndersnow]

sometimes i wonder what’s going on in that head of yours . @thedriftcr

theo glances up from cleaning lumina, one pointed ear flicking in drifter’s direction, the jewelry hanging from it jangling. it’s not the first time he’s heard such a sentiment expressed, but the party saying it has his lips twitch upwards in a crooked, amused grin.

“yeah, drifter?” the awoken looks back to his work, but keeps that ear turned. “and what’s got you saying that, hm? i know that last gambit match went a little weird, but invaders make me cagey. can’t help it.” he realizes full well the gambit match probably has nothing to do with this conversation, but a man can hope.

[thvndersnow]

❛  there's no way in hell i'm doing that.  ❜ // saladin @ theo @fiirecracker

theo rolls his eyes at the older titan. his ears flick in irritation, piercings jangling against each other as they do. he doesn't understand his twin's loyalty to saladin -- understands even less why saladin seems to want to recruit him. but he's trying to be respectful; he knows there's history there.

"see, that's why the iron lords wouldn't work out for me," he says with a crooked smile, crossing his arms over his chest. "if you can't let loose enough to go mattress surfing down the barrack stairs, we're not a good match."

sloane had always told him he was a little more hunter than a titan should be, and now, looking at how other titans act, he's beginning to believe her.

[thunderclaap]

☽–;; theo tag dump!

[thvndersnow]

"velaask, misraaks."

much like the kell before him, theo tries not to show the stress he's been feeling. there is a hole in his heart that the traveler's presence used to fill, but his ghost still grants light, and lumina stays comforting at his hip. he has to try to stay optimistic, even when the fear and paranoia he'd thought he'd gotten rid of begin creeping back into the edges of his mind. so misraaks greets him, and theo smiles and perks his ears upwards, the glow of his eyes brightening as he does.

"i'm sorry i've been gone. my sister's been on the neomuna assignment, and, well... she needed the emotional support." that, and he'd had a couple projects to take care of for ikora, but those aren't things he's meant to talk about. the titan clambers up onto a half wall, turning to sit himself on it, swinging his legs off the side.

"how's everything been? how have... how have you been?" his gaze drops, staring downwards as his feet as they move. he forces himself to meet misraaks's eyes again. "i know... i know, with the traveler and everything... it must be hard, leading your people through all this."

@thvndersnow / for theo

" velaask, theo. i appreciate your presence here with house light. it puts many minds at ease to have such an ally supporting us. "

despite his words, and despite speaking of the house as a whole, the truth of the matter it puts his mind at ease. he has not shown it, as it is his duty as kell to stand strong, but the current times have made him uneasy.

especially now that the traveler no longer hangs protectively above the city. but skies without the great machine are skies he is used to.

" the kelekhs have been wondering at your absence. "