#then you know that once i get into this it’s a rabbit hole there’s no way out; so thank goodness i didnt attempt it during my FINAL year
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Algorithms
Social media needs engagement to make money. Anger generates more engagement than anything. Think about when you see some ludicrous claim and you get all frustrated and want to correct them and if you do it starts a heated back and forth. That is social media's bread and butter.
"The more incendiary the material, the more it keeps users engaged, the more it is boosted by the algorithm."
It is in a social media company's best interest to boost the most inflammatory content in its algorithm to get people heated and keep them online. When you interact with content, the algorithm starts automatically pushing you more content related to that. Maybe you see someone say something about vaccines and you watch it because it's something you don't know about or because you just need to know what ridiculous thing they are saying. Once you do that, it will start suggesting more content like that to you and it's easy to fall into a hole where the content it suggests gets farther and farther to the right.
From the same article linked above: "When an internal Facebook experiment created a fake account for a fictional user – “Carol Smith,” a 41-year old conservative mother from North Carolina – this account was recommended pages and groups related to QAnon within days of its creation. “Carol” was recommended an account associated with the militia group Three Percenters within three weeks."
But it isn't limited to only your activity.
"Platforms like Facebook use complex algorithms to target ads based on social connections. The Meta Pixel tracks user behavior across different sites and can influence ad recommendations for connected friends. For example, you like a post about hiking gear on Facebook, and your friend, who is connected to you, starts seeing ads for similar hiking equipment even though they haven't shown interest in hiking."
I don't have a link for this, but it's obvious to me your IP address plays a part, as well. When my best friend came to visit, all of a sudden all of my ads were for bras. I never get those ads because I stopped buying bras when the pandemic hit and I never looked back. My best friend had just been looking for bras and I was getting ads for the places they were just shopping at now that they were on my wifi. And i couldn't help but notice that YouTube started suggesting I watch a bunch of videos I had never shown interest in, but were made by people my friend followed.
So the algorithm is built to radicalize, our schools focus more on testing and less on things like media literacy, and if you're someone who didn't have a great education you will consume the media without scrutiny and continue to be fed more of that media in ever increasingly problematic ways. Or perhaps you are an unaware young adult/child and you live in a home with conservative parents so the algorithm shows you media that your parents engage in on that same IP address and you fall down the same rabbit hole. Either way it's all the same and we're all being eaten alive by the algorithm.
.
#well that did turn into quite an#essay#didn't it?#i have a lot of feelings about this#fuck the algorithm#us politics#social media#media literacy
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feel like ive sent a lotta requests to u for some reason? 😭 but rn i have the idea of usually dom! fem.reader being asked if sub!skz can dom them n they fuck so good her brain is basically a mush. (would you believe me if i say i kinda dreamt of the part b4 fucking but i woke up..?)
First and foremost... it sucks when you wake up before the action happens!!! I feel ya!!
A/n: I don’t normally use pics with faces, but I needed to demonstrate the mask I mention.
MDNI /// NSFW /// MDNI /// NSFW
CW: established relationship, gang bang, degradation, name calling, unprotected p in v, reference to anal sex, restraints, spanking, writing on body, dom skz, sub reader, role reversal, slapping, rough sex, aftercare.
//////////
You’re usually calling the shots. Demanding. Instructing. But every so often you wondered what’d be like to be the submissive for once? Domming was sometimes exhausting. Taking care of them and their needs, it was a lot of responsibility.
Maybe they all could work together to take care of you for a change?
You knew a few of your subs were in fact switches, so they were who you approached to discuss this important matter with.
“You want us to dom you?” Chan asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Are you sure you can take it?" Minho adds.
“Are you sure you will know how to take care of me?” You counter.
But it doesn't take long for their devious brains to formulate a plan.
You get to be an absolute fucking pillow princess for the night. They tie you up, take turns. All your holes get used over and over simultaneously. You can barely breath you're choking on so much cock, and they love the pretty tears that are streaming down your face.
Of course, to begin with spanking is involved - with your riding crop. The one you love to use on Jisung. It makes you so dripping wet hearing Minho direct Sungie to to use that same riding crop to cause red marks on your body.
"Again, Sungie. She needs five more. Harder." He instructs him.
Then there's the moment Hyunjin and Felix bully both their cocks into your pussy. At the same time. While a few of the others hold you in place so you can’t move or squirm or resist in any way.
Then they adorn you in your black leather rabbit half mask and chain you to the bed. You’re in a This is when they really get started.
Changbin runs the pad of his thumb along your bottom lip, then pushes it into your mouth, pressing against the inside of your cheek. “Such a fucked out little bunny.” All you can do is look at him with pleading eyes, silently begging him to fuck your face. Of course he does, removing his fingers and pressing his fat tip past your lips.
Meanwhile Felix is eating you out, slurping on your cunt like it’s his dinner.
Minho cums on the side of your face, pumping his cock with his hand. He needs you all messy, so he smears it all over your cheek with his dick.
Without warning, your legs are bent up around your shoulders. Time for another round of fucking your holes. Chan starts with an onslaught of rough, hard thrusts. Then Jeongin. Hyunjin forces you to deep throat him, and you’re pretty sure someone is rubbing their dick on your foot.
One by one they fill you with the cocks you love so much. And you’ve taught them well too. They know how to thrust so they hit that sweet spot. They know how deep they need to go to make you scream. They know how hard to slap your tits and your face.
Orgasm after orgasm is ripped from you. All while they talk amongst themselves about how much of a “whore” you’re being tonight.
They laugh at how pathetic your whimpers are, and taunt you about good you look as a cum dump. That you’re a “filthy little pet only good for your holes”. You feel the cold wetness of a felt tip marker on your skin. Seungmin, the meanie, writing god knows what on your body.
You just lay there smiling absentmindedly because you’re too fucked out to say or do anything. Your brain isn’t even working now.
Your gorgeous young men are treating you exactly how you want them to, taking care of your needs so well, and you cum again, making a mess all over the face between your legs. You glance down through hazy eyes and almost, almost, say “good boy, Sungie” when you see him drink up every last drop of your arousal.
Eventually they are finished with you, releasing your wrists and removing the mask.
“Go on.” Chan laughs. “Go clean up.” But your legs are jelly and you can’t stand. You’re forced to crawl, pull yourself along the floor. Pathetically. All while they laugh at you.
“Look at you. Too fucked stupid to move.”
“Probably won’t be able to walk for a week.”
“Fuck. Someone better carry her to the bath, at this rate all that cum in her hair will have dried so much it won’t wash out.”
Minho scoops you up and carries you to the bathroom, where one of the others had been drawing you a bath while you’d been struggling on the floor.
Felix washes your hair, Chan washes your body. The rest of your lovers are busy too: Hyunjin changing the sheets, Minho preparing snacks, Jisung finding a movie for you to all wash. Jeongin finding your pyjamas and slippers, and Seungmin blow drying your hair for you so you don’t catch a cold. Binnie ensuring you stretch those hammies and providing you with hot wheat bags.
You fall asleep amongst them. Happy and content. You needed this break.
@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @weareapackofstrays @3rachasdomesticbanana @palindrome969 @xxkissesforchanniexx @fun-fanfics @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @armystay89 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @justforreaders @melochacco @scenuniverse @oddracha @galaxycatdrawz @jiminssluttyminx @kayleefriedchicken @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @dool-set-net @redstayrosie @mintymintmint251 @katsukis1wife @delulustardust @eastjonowhere @withnia
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Jeckole Yapping
Had to dig through my old posts to find the template, but I'm bored and doing this again but for Jecka and Nicole this time. Mostly headcanons and such below
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• When or if I started shipping it:
I'm going to be honest, but I don't remember. I only got into Co09 a few months ago. All I know is that once I watched the out of context videos on Class of '09 and Re-Up, I wanted more content of them and came across a lot of really good fanart and fanfic.
I think there were a lot of boxes checked off when I slowly went down the rabbit hole lol. There's an emotionally constipated dark-girl paired with a preppy blonde girl who acts as the former's foil. I think what really drew me into them, fanart aside, were the foils and parallels between them. The codependency, expanded upon by Progman, was probably the final nail that dragged me down the brainrot.
• My thoughts:
I've known about them for awhile, and thought they were some random white girls in a cult classic VN that somehow regained a surge of popularity last year. I didn't know the VN was relatively new, and most of the time when I do ship Jeckole, it's without the creator in mind. They have a certain flavor to them that hits in a way where I can't stop brainrotting over them.
Someone mentioned this in a fic comment, but they see them as foils when it comes to dealing with people and the world around them--where Nicole acts as this snarling animal that will bite you if you get too close, while Jecka acts as this wall that doesn't allow things to get to her even if it does bother her. In a way, they envy each other for that, and after reading that fic it reinforced why their dynamic is one that I gravitate towards compared to the others. They have pieces of each other that they're missing and they can't live without the other (I love codependent Jeckole).
• What makes me sad about them:
In-game, they probably wouldn't last after high school when they go their separate ways. As much as Nicole sees Jecka as a slightly more "special" person to her than most people at the school, their friendship is more for convenience--with Nicole finding Jecka to be more tolerable and cool compared to everyone else (along with the added bonus of not being a loner), and Jecka finding Nicole more fun to hang around with than all her other school friends despite knowing how much Nicole is a fucked up mess and bad influence. In-game Nicole is also someone who would continue to keep everyone at an arm's length and also wouldn't fight too hard (outside of the Jecka and counselor smoking scene) to maintain any meaningful relationships once they're out of her reach.
But also, who cares what the creator thinks because fanart and fanfic exists lmaoooooo.
• What makes me happy about them:
There's a scene in Flip Side where Nicole calls Jecka first thing in the morning at 7am asking her where McDonald's keeps their frozen patties, only for Jecka to say they don't have them because McD serves breakfast during those hours. Then Jecka calls Nicole stupid, and I just found that scene funny in an oddly comforting way.
Nicole is comfortable enough to bug Jecka and wake her up so early in the morning for something so mundane, while Jecka just stays on the phone listening to whatever antics she's in instead of hanging up immediately and going back to bed. I also mentioned this in another post, but someone on Twitter said the thing they love most about Jeckole is how Nicole was willing to get to know Jecka even after saying she has no desire to make any connections at her new school. It can be interpreted as a convenience thing on Nicole's end, but every route in the original game has her willing to either ask for Jecka's name or share her name when they first meet.
To me, their back and forth dynamic keeps them balanced enough to stay fucked up with the potential of becoming well-adjusted in the future.
• Things done in art/fic that annoys me:
There's a number of interpretations when it comes to the Co09 characters, so I understand it can be hard to write them. But for me personally, I'm not a fan of when Nicole is depicted as either way too nice and uncharacteristically soft or way too mean and following the stereotypical SBN interpretation that "Nicole doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything".
• Things I look for in art/fic:
When they're codependent :) or when they're codependent with a slight chance of them getting healthier over time. Also, just them being stupid together.
I'm also one of the few people (I haven't come across too many others yet) that seek out future Jeckole stuff. Whenever I picture them as adults, it's always aurawra21's art in mind.
• Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
I'm a monoshipper when it comes to Class of '09, so probably no one. It adds to that codependent flavor :) but if you want a real answer...
For Nicole, probably Emily.
For Jecka, probably Emily also.
• My happily ever after for them:
Moving out of their town, healing from their trauma, and getting healthier over time. Maybe they won't be better people exactly, but they'd at least be less fucked up and a little happier (with Nicole finding some will to keep living past 30) after cutting off their toxic families.
• What is their favorite activity?:
Nicole forcing Jecka to watch Mythbusters and How It's Made with her (in exchange for watching Smallville and Charmed with Jecka). Also, probably smoking together, assuming that Jecka hasn't quit her smoking habit ten years later.
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 4 ]
{☆} characters arlecchino, furina, lyney {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 3.7k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]
Fontaine was bathed in darkness, not even the moon daring to illuminate where the common man fears to walk. The streets were bleak and empty save for the constant, rhythmic ticking and clanking of machines marching on endlessly, dauntlessly wading where even the bravest dared not to venture. Not even the sharp click of the Gardes boots followed the occasional hisses of steam as they walked the barren streets.
It was haunting, and it'd been like that for days now. It showed little signs of stalling in the slightest, too. Every inch of Fontaine was practically crawling with Gardemeks– like a swarm of rats skittering about.
Arlecchino had secluded herself in the Hotel Bouffes d'ete for days at this point, waiting– biding her time. Her nails clicked against the wood as she tapped at the table in a stilted rhythm, the subtle click of the clock mixing into the clanking outside, weaving in and out of earshot as the patrols slipped by. She reached forward after a moment of thought, reaching for the white king.
She leaned back against the chaise, tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of a patrol of Gardemeks as they vanished behind the rows and rows of buildings. It wasn't enough to keep her attention for long, however, her features twisting in disinterest as she glanced back to the chessboard– and the letter neatly resting beside it. The seal was unmistakable and a sobering sight, demanding her attention– the soft hues of blue etched into the shape of a dragon stared back at her in a way that almost unsettled her.
She had already parsed through it's contents hundreds of times, but she was met with only vague, flowing script that only served to irritate her more then anything– it filled the page top to bottom yet managed to say nothing at all. Her hand reached out again, but instead of reaching for the letter she plucked the black rook from the board, setting it down with a soft click.
Arlecchino had all the time in the world to sit back and observe her prey, but all that time would be useless if she lacked the information to act.
And he was quite tight fisted about it, evidentially. None of her inquiries or attempts to decipher any potential codes in the letter left her empty handed. She could not act without even knowing the reason for his summons– it was almost worded like a personal affair rather then one would expect for a foreign diplomat. In truth, she'd expected a scalding report on her operatives, but it lacked any mention of anything of the sort.
She was no stranger to people masking hostility behind pretty words and compliments, not that it was ever unwarranted per se– the Fatui did not create connections through honesty and genuine kindness. They have strong armed more then their fair share of people into cooperation to the point distrust is all the Fatui are met with outside of Snezhnaya. Every word was meant to conceal the deceit, every action meant to conceal the price later paid.
So she had been..skeptical of the letter, to put it lightly. She doubted the Iudex of all people would offer a hand to the Fatui without a price attached– a trap, perhaps, meant to lure in the most powerful piece left on the board. Her eyes narrowed, reaching for a white rook and moving it to the right.
Or he was hiding something. Something that he simply couldn't risk getting out to anyone, not even the Divine themself. A tempting prize, whatever it was.
..A dangerous prize, too.
She'd considered burning the letter and forgetting it all together– the risk was great, and she couldn't risk getting caught up by whoever else the Iudex may have on his side of the board. But she could hardly pass up the challenge and the prize that he fought so hard to keep from prying eyes and ears. Even her agents came back empty handed each time. She lazily picked up a black rook, sliding the white pawn aside.
"Lyney," Arlecchino drawled, crossing one leg over the other and turning her gaze to the door as it slowly creaked open. The pale visage of Lyney stepped through, though his siblings were noticeably absent. The weariness that weighed down on his shoulders was apparent in the slightest furrow of his brows and the subtle creak of leather as he clenched his fists behind his back. "Father." He choked out, the title dragged out by the sharp inhale and shaky exhale.
He looked out of breath, she noted.
The silence that lingered after the small exchange was punctuated only by the click of another chess piece being moved. She sets aside the black rook, letting it sit among the dozen other pieces that had been wiped off the board. She can see the conviction glinting beneath the fog of exhaustion, but if he would utilize it was another matter all together.
He had seemed to make his choice quickly, at the very least.
"Our contacts and operatives within the Fortress of Meropide have gone silent– all we have is their final confirmed missive.." His voice is confident, but it is rigid as the words spill from his lips. He takes a sharp step forward, unfolding his arms from behind his back and opening his hands– the small, water stained and messily folded note catches her eye, plucking it from his palms with a half hearted interest. "They believe the Duke left the Fortress of Meropide..and that he may be coming to the Court of Fontaine."
Her eyes narrow dangerously, nearly crumpling the thin paper in her hands– yet just as quickly, she collects herself.
But she cannot get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue, lingering as she sets down the note and slides it to the side, her lips pursed into a thin line.
So the Iudex had shown one of his pieces..she tightly grasps a black rook, tipping over the white rook, letting it roll against the board.
If the Duke was involved, things were much more complicated then she expected– he would be a problem, she was certain. She couldn't blame the lamb for fearing the wolf, either. Whether her agents had been killed or captured by the man mattered little. He had his ways, and he was a force that could instill fear in even them.
Which meant the possibility that her operation was already compromised was far too real.
What had the Iudex so concerned he had gone through the trouble of bringing in the Duke and herself? The Fatui was one thing, but to specifically request one of it's Harbingers..
The Prophecy? The thought had her clenching her fist, but..no. If it were to rear it's head now, the Iudex could simply not afford to waste time on his contacts deciphering his nonsensical script– If the prophecy were to be the issue, there time would be limited to mere minutes in the worst of cases. Which meant it was worth biding his time in order to ensure absolute secrecy.
So if not the prophecy, then what?
Her next moves were..limited. She was already walking on eggshells considering her position and the reputations of the Fatui– especially with a Harbinger in the midst. If they caught wind of her operations, they'd weed out her operatives and be on guards for any snakes that lingered in their garden.
She reached for the chessboard again, picking up one of the white rooks from the board with a scowl. The sharp click as she sets down the white rook and sets aside the black pawn draws a shaky inhale from Lyney as she moves another black pawn, the dull click of the pieces drowning out the distant clinking of machines.
..A draw, perhaps.
The pieces were all falling into place– the players of this game were slowly being revealed. Whether she could secure her victory..she was unsure.
She wasn't even sure who her opponent was. Only that the Iudex himself was but another piece in their game.
Arlecchino reached for the board again, yet this time she hesitated. Perhaps she could still swipe the win from beneath them, if she played her cards right.
She would simply have to capture the king– or, if need be, let it end on a draw. Either way, she would not concede. She could not afford to concede. Down to the last piece, she would drag out this match until she was in a position to force their hand into the outcome she desired.
She stood slowly, picking up the king piece and observing it for only the briefest of moments before she set it down on the table, taking measured steps around the table and across the room. She was hunting a much more dangerous quarry today– it would be no simple runaway traitor this time.
"Do you remember the directive?" She inquired coldly, her hand lingering on the door for that long, tense moment. "..Yes, Father." Lyney faltered, taking a hesitant step back and bowing at the waist. "Then do not stray."
All that was left was the silence and click of the door shutting behind her as she disappeared down the hall, her boots clicking harshly against the floorboards. The rest of the agents knew better then to linger in her path as she stepped down into the lobby, adjusting the cuffs of her sleeves. She barely even acknowledged the Fatui agent standing at the ready by the heavyset doors, their gloves hands held out with her cloak held loosely in their palms. She quickly snagged it from them, tugging it over her board shoulders and clasping it around her throat.
With a quick tug, she brought the hood up over her head to conceal her sharp features, lifting her hand and placing a neatly folded note within their waiting hands. She had only one chance to make the right moves and secure her victory– no matter the cost.
Each piece had it's purpose.
Oft, that purpose was a bloody and horrible end– but for the grand goal of the Fatui built on the backs of the dead, it was an honor.
She didn't bother speaking a word as she dismissed them with a wave of her hand, pushing open the heavyset doors and stepping out into the barren, damp streets. The rhythmic clink and whir of Gardemeks was still distant– she needed to move. Her boots clicked and splashed in the rain soaked stone of the streets as she slithered between the buildings, ducking through the openings in the patrols.
It was almost too easy.
She tilted her head back, taking in the towering Palais Mermonia with a scowl, her hands clenched into fists. The final moves were being played– the king was within her reach, yet she felt no more confident then when she began.
The air carried a sense of unease, thick and heavy, filling her lungs until she felt her breath still in her chest– listening to the empty, bleak night that seemed so..quiet.
She'd done her fair share of research, had more then her fair share of her agents try to peer into the Iudex's office or the Archon's supposedly hidden chambers, but every attempt was a failure. She had to give them credit, they were quite elusive when they wished to be. Though now she only thought about it bitterly– this was all a risky gamble, in the end, and only time would tell if it paid off.
With minimal effort, she'd managed to pull herself to the flat, tiled roof, eyeing the massive tower peaking out of the center cautiously. At least here the wandering patrols down below weren't likely to notice her..she could hear them passing by the spot she'd been in only a few minutes ago, just beneath her. She pulled the hood further over her face, peering through the sheer darkness of the night for any oddities, but it was almost impossible to see in the dark.
Her boots clicked softly against the tiles as she approached the tower jutting out from the Palais, her hand gliding along the smooth stone, pressing against odd indents or crevices. If it was for the Archon's chambers, she doubted they made it very difficult– she'd only met the woman once, but she doubted the Iudex make it all that complex just from a brief glance. And it surprised her little when one of the stones sunk into the wall, gears whirring as the walls split open to reveal a stairwell straight into an inky black hall. Only the barest hint of light peaked under the door at the bottom, but it's occupants must have heard her, considering it went out not a moment later.
She cautiously stepped down into the small crevice, her breath visible in the bitter cold air– her shoulders tensed at the subtle sound of muffled footsteps behind the door, her vision flaring with a molten heat between her shoulder blades as she reached for the worn handle of the door. The heat of her vision was enough to just barely heat the metal, her vision flaring like a quickly building inferno.
Arlecchino was prepared for a fight, if it came down to it.
The door creaked as she pressed against it, shoving it open with a grunt of effort and surveying the room with narrowed eyes and a biting remark on the tip of her tongue– the lavish opulence was expected, she supposed, but the lack of the towering figure of the Iudex was not.
Yet before she could get a word in or even take in her surroundings properly, the light flickered back on and she had to squeeze her eyes shut with a hiss at the sudden brightness. She could hear the door being shoved closed behind her, the hurried footsteps retreating just as quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light.
..This was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be.
She'd expected the Iudex, perhaps even the Duke if she'd been unlucky, not the Hydro Archon. She had half the mind to test her worth as an Archon then and there, her temper flaring like an uncontrollable blaze, barely kept at bay. It took all her self control to force herself to smile politely at the woman rather then snarl.
"Miss Furina," She sneered beneath her hood, x shaped pupils locked onto the startled, trembling Archon with thinly veiled contempt. "What a..pleasant surprise. You'll have to forgive my manners, I assumed I was meeting with the Iudex." She observed her body language carefully– the way her eyes darted about like a frightened rabbit seeking escape, the slightest tremble of her lips..
Arlecchino opened her mouth to offer another scathing remark, but her jaw audibly clicked shut as her entire body seemed to lock up. Even her vision went cold against her back, a chilling feeling creeping up her spine as someone, or something, crept up behind her. Their footsteps were almost silent, the slight rustling of their clothes the only thing she could hear over her heart pounding against her ribcage.
Arlecchino had always prided herself on being on the other end of that sensation– she was the monster, and her target was the prey frozen like a deer between the hunters crosshair.
It was a chilling feeling to have the dynamic shifted on it's head.
She couldn't even swallow, her jaw clenched so hard she could hear it creak as she tried to reason with her quickly splintering mind– a futile effort, her joints locking up almost painfully. Black spots were quickly swallowing her vision from the lack of air in her lungs, the sound of shuffling behind her barely audible over the ringing in her ears.
For a moment – a moment too long to have only lasted the seconds that it did, yet so quick it gave her whiplash – she thought she would hit the floor dead before she could even glimpse her assailant.
And then it was gone. She came crashing back into reality with a startled inhale, her lungs burning and her knees nearly buckling under her. The instinct to lash out and kill whoever had done it was intense, yet she couldn't bring herself to move even a finger– it would be so easy to twist around and ignite them with searing flames, but her feet were rooted in place.
She almost didn't notice the surprisingly gentle hands unclasping her cloak, tugging it off her shoulders, if not for the sheer intensity of the presence still lingering behind her. Her mind was still fractured, struggling to right itself after the ordeal, and it had her seething.
"..Are you certain you held back enough?" Furina croaked, the normally soft lilt raspy and almost hoarse. "Not– not that I doubt your capability, most Divine!"
Arlecchino felt her nails dig harshly into her palms, heat swelling beneath her skin– Divine? Had she lost her mind? The Divine was..
The Divine was upon their throne where they belonged. She'd seen them!
"Hm. Well, maybe? Sorry, I didn't think it'd affect you too." Their voice was sickeningly soft as they stepped around her like she wasn't even there, focusing their attention on the Archon who seemed more then delighted about it. "What gave you that impression, most Divine? Aha, I..was completely unaffected, as you can see! Perfectly fine."
Furina let out a small squeak when they pinched her cheek, but the almost affectionate smile that tugged at their lips revealed the lack of malice behind the action.
"You're a bad liar, Furina. You might want to sit down..please?" They didn't take her protests for an answer, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before abruptly turning to face Arlecchino once more, a forced smile on their lips. "Oh, good, you're..uh, not dead. That's good. I thought I fried your brain. Sorry?"
..Had she hit her head on the way here? The Divine should still be on their throne, yet she couldn't shake the weight of their stare– it felt tangible. She felt like she was standing face to face with the stars– galaxies and constellations bearing down upon her.
She grit her teeth and clenched her hands until she felt the sting of her nails against her palms, grounding herself in the pain through the sheer overwhelming nature of their existence.
"You.." She croaks, reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, lifting them up until their feet left the floor– she pays no mind to the startled protests of the Archon. Arlecchino would crush her like a bug before she even got the chance to intervene and they both knew it. "You shouldn't exist– you aren't them, and yet you..you're the imposter, aren't you?" Her grip tightens yet they face her without an ounce of fear, meeting her unyielding glare with a pondering look.
Arlecchino wanted to make them bleed just to see if she could, the urge to sink her teeth into skin welling up in her chest to the point she visibly snarled, her mask of politeness long . "You're the imposter." Her expression falls for a moment before she schools it into one of apathy, setting them back down and holding them there for a moment, finally releasing them after a tense moment. "Or you were supposed to be."
Hers brows furrow– she wants to demand answers, to throttle them for damning them to being nothing more then dolls for the supposed Divine to break at their whim, but none of the words come to her.
"..Why now? The current Divine has been in power for years, yet you descend now?" Her shoulders tensed, lips pursed into a thin line– it's impossible to ignore the truth that lay before her. The Divine is a fraud and this..imposter is the true Divine. How many years had they been in power, now? How many years were they waiting? Why did they wait? Was the suffering of Teyvat not enough? Was the blood that painted the steps of their stolen throne not enough?
She'd personally been on the wrong end of the Divine's wrath– she wonders..had they watched? Had they seen the cruel hand of their imposter and turned their back on Teyvat?
"I.." They hesitated. It made her seethe, her hands clenching into fists at her sides– her vision flickered, flames swelling within it's casing just to be smothered by the presence of the Divine. But once that spark had been lit, she refused to let it go out. "I didn't know."
The answer does not satisfy her. There is an itch beneath her skin that she cannot scratch, a fire that burns in her chest so hot it scorches even herself.
"And what about now? Are you content to cower like prey in the safety of the Palais Mermonia?" She snapped, taking a step forward, her brows furrowed and her glare intense– she can see the slightest bit of worry in their eyes. She revels in it. "Will you let them use your acolytes like pawns? How many more need to be broken on the steps to your throne before you act?"
Again, her vision flares and dims– it refuses to be used against the Divine that created it.
"Have you no answer?"
The room is silent. They do not speak and neither does she.
Even the world itself seems to quiet in the face of her accusations, fury boiling to the surface so hot it incinerated all it touched.
"I will kill them myself."
Their words are quiet, but they are not soft– there is a vindictive, searing anger that explodes out like dying stars within their eyes. The sight of constellations replaced by a void that would not be . The smell of ichor grows stronger– to the point she feels almost lightheaded.
"..I am aware that I have failed in preventing this, but I had no choice in the matter. Still," They muse, their voice like the tolling of bells. A solemn melody that stills the swelling fury burning in her chest, if only for a moment. "I will rectify it– I will tear down their throne of lies and let not even the earth tarnish itself by burying their corpse among it's soil."
They pause for a moment, holding out their hand– scarred and bandaged by the weapons of the devout, yet still they take upon the burden of dirtying their hands to save those who did not save them.
"Do you trust me, Arlecchino?"
Did she?
"Will you help me?"
She exhales heavily, meeting the starry iris' of the Divine with a scowl still tugging at her lips. Arlecchino trusted no one but herself.
"..Yes."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#imposter au#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#arlecchino#lyney#furina#you do NOT wanna know what i got put thru writing this fic#trying 2 find out where arle was in the few times we DO see her and going down a rabbit hole of fuck fontaine and its layout actually!#I spent like 3 hours looking it up and checking in game it gives me a migraine thinking abt it. ew#anyway trying to write a really smart character is surprisingly difficult when ur as dumb as rocks#also used an actual chess match for this and gave myself an even worse migraine trying 2 make sure i didnt repeat moves or smth#furina doesnt get a spotlight yet just imagine her sitting in the corner trembling like a wet kitten you found on the side of the road#arlecchino goes thru a crisis more at 11#shes a tired single dad shes isnt getting paid enough for this okay#hands u a fic over half the length of the other THREE PARTS#ehe :]#is arle actually on ur side??? is she gonna double cross u???? who knows!!!!!#shes unpredictable she might stab u for funsies#anyway im gonna go nap in a ditch now this took SO LONGGGGG OH MY G-D#also just think acolytes who arent buddy buddy w reader and even resent them is so tasty#bc how r they supposed 2 know reader was a human vibing 5 minutes before their got eebied 2 teyvat..#reader gotta roll up their sleeves and get 2 WORK sometimes murder IS okay#they gotta fix some shit around here and that means committing several crimes all at once. sometimes more#a group can be g-d (just got here) their dragon (neuvi) their cat (archon) their dog (wrio) and their wolf (arle)
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Dear noritoshi cult leader!!!!!! I wanted to know if you have any recommendations for other artists or content creators that post for our boy noritoshi?
my devout cult member!!!!!!
I don't know many artists who are still active or still draw Noritoshi stuff. I mostly get my content from pixiv or pinterest even if it's.... severely rare.... and even then, they've only drawn him once, and that's all but it's something!
btw when I say some aren't active, I mean they haven't posted in a while. fingers crossed they cOME BACK PLEASE GOD I MISS YOU.
My list is in no particular order unless you count who came to mind first?? nonetheless, here are some Noritoshi artists that I know of/taken inspiration from
kamo_sympathy [Twitter] haven't been active for a while, but I still enjoy the stuff they have there. Very good!!
getou_0203_ [Twitter] also semi inactive. they're a Getou, Gojo, and Choso enjoyer too. how they drew Noritoshi is smth I inject in my soul.
ohayo_akachan [Twitter] again... kinda inactive, but still. I enjoy their content a lot while I can't really understand what they're saying. DeepL my saving grace.. their style is v similar to the anime style, which I find super cool!!
Gotharcheologist or @/alegnace [Twitter and Tumblr] They're a chosonori shipper and active! I really like how they draw Noritoshi and Choso. how they draw blood is so good, how they draw faces is so good, THEIR ARTSTYLE IS SO FUCKING GOOD
magical_candy15 [Twitter] They didn't post a lot, nor are they active as of now, but the few scenarios were really good and fed me in my drought for a while. I love u..
rin5su0605 [Twitter] A Todo×Noritoshi account with some love to the rest of the Kyoto group too! This person was active as of June 2023, but I'm using copium. I really like how they draw.. and the color choices oh my fuck.
mecuru_MECU (?) [Twitter] I'm a bit iffy on this one. They look to not be doing jjk anymore, but they were once into Noritoshi if you go to their earlier posts. Their linework is beautiful, like their colors! there's something about their work I really like.
and that's all I have, I think? I know there are others out there that i don't know or don't remember, but I'll probably add them over time if i find more or if anyone else has someone in mind to recommend in the comments of this post!
yoshida_jyu [Twitter] They mainly post in a comic format! theres also some Megumi×Noritoshi shipping so if thats your thing, this dude's your dude. i have no idea what theyre saying but they draw cute expressions. also draws mainly Noritoshi, Kokichi, and Megumi
16shelter [Twitter} also a Megumi×Noritoshi shipper. Little warning: their art can be nsfw/suggestive at times, so be careful w that if its not your thing. Their anatomy is good AND POSING im grabbing my pen.. also, this person finds Arata cute, so theres some art with him too!
#noritoshi#kamo noritoshi#noritoshi kamo#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#cult leader cameo#i had to scrape the bottom of the barrel and go through so many rabbit holes to find these artists bro#the rest of the content i get is fr just from my delusions#there are more really cool artists out there but theyve only drawn him once or twice so i omitted them#theres also some who DELETED ALL THEIR OLD SHIT OF HIM PLEASE COME BACK I DONT CARE WHAT HAPPENED I MISS YOU#AND THEN THERES SOME IN MY HEAD WHO I CANT REMEMBER THE NAME OF OR HOW I FOUND THEM FOR THE LIFE OF ME#I KNOW THEY EXIST BUT I CANT FUCKING FIND THEM RN#if some links dont work/you dont trust links try looking up the username!#null brainwash#cloaked cult member
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#I once made a joke to my students that even though I never worked out I was always mentally lifting weights#in the gym of my own mind.#and it’s been such a helpful metaphor#not to make an outrageous statement here or to overestimate how smart I am (often not very smart at all!)#but just. my brain gets use. it gets exploration. it has been honed.#if it had an embodied form (other than my body) yeah! it would be lifting weights!#and/or doing gymnastics lol (for a zeitgeist-y metaphor)#(actually I am legit so good at mental gymnastics)#but ANYWAY the point is: the metaphor struck me because it highlighted how little my brain gets a break#and again—it’s not all worthwhile or deep or insightful or GOOD. a lot of it is useless or downright silly mental activity#but it IS activity. it is mental motion. day in day out. and it is so so so so so so so hard for me to give my brain a break#or even know how to do that#and I am absolutely tearing mental muscles and getting whatever it is athletes get when they work out too hard#or too strenuously#to extend the metaphor to the limit#and I need !!!!!!! a rest day#vacations are almost worse tbh. I feel like I hit this point a lot in the summer#because school forces me to think about things but actually much more helpfully it forces me to stop thinking about things#and do something else. it’s thinking on a schedule lol#and so the breaks are just built-in#but on my own I’ll just go go go go go and fall down every rabbit hole and chase my own tail#and it’s so tiring#anyway it hit me the other day that I could actually set limits for myself#like I was thinking about something in the shower (as you do) and it was stressful#and then I was like you have until the end of the shower to think about this and then you have to stop#and it was super helpful. I need to do that more. but yeah.#I don’t know how to give myself a rest day because who knows what will set the brain off#I also Know it wouldn’t be as bad if it wasn’t all interwoven with anxiety. but anixey is very deeply interwoven with how my brain works#so stressfully going down a million thought paths#ANYWAY !!!!! it is 1;41 am and I can’t sleep!!!!!!!
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there’s a power rangers joke in here somewhere
#guess who’s back to editing!#im going to try and finish recording s3 before new years#i may not finish (or even begin) alfie’s video but i say that’s progress#i havent been able to record anything at all bc i was focused on my studies and if you know me#then you know that once i get into this it’s a rabbit hole there’s no way out; so thank goodness i didnt attempt it during my FINAL year#that’s right friends! im graduating in May!! your girl’s gonna have her degree! woooooooi#are eddie and kt like those extra rangers that show up mid-season like gold; silver; or purple?#in the mean time#season 3 should be… interesting#i just know im gonna record SO much#amber’s the pink ranger obvi#but who’s the fifth? would it be yellow so nina? or would it be black or— i havent watch PR shows in years damn#house of anubis#sibuna#hoa#alfie lewis#fabian rutter#patricia williamson
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I finished the special story in Connections and it got me to bawl my eyes out so bad. That story was so much more meaningful and emotional and impactful than the entirety of Naruto itself. What the fuck do you mean it was written by Kishimoto????? He did NOT write something for a side story in one of the ultimate ninja storm games and make it better than anything he's ever done before. There's just no fucking way.
#i fucking hate when filler and non canon side stuff is like. better than canon lmao#and not cuz like. filler doesnt deserve it ooo fuck filler whatever NO!!!!! BECAUSE IF ITS GOOD PEOPLE STILL DONT WATCH AND THEN CALL YOU#A LOSER EVEN BOTHERING WITH FILLER!!!!! FUCK OFF!!!! FUCK NARUTO AND FUCK SASUKE AND YOU KNOW WHAT. EVEN FUCK OBITO#NO THIS IS ABOUT BORUTO AND NANASHI AND HOW THAT WAS THE BEST NARUTO AND YES EVEN BORUTO CONTENT EVER CREATED#AND NO ONES GOING TO CARE BECAUSE WAAAA FILLER IS STUPID AND IT SUCKS WAAAAA SUCK MY COCK#the best most emotional arc in bleach is fucking filler. the connections side story is barely even filler when its for a fucking VIDEO GAME#ITS NOT FUCKING FAIRRRRRRRR!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#that was the best naruto content ever. better than even blood prison by a loooooong shot#it just fucked me up man. it really really fucked me up and REALLY got to me#i started getting pissed off how far down the rabbit hole it is of content people actovely DONT want#its an original side story in a game people play for the pvp. its boruto related. ITS FILLER as in no relation to the#plot written by ikemoto#its boruto and its filler and what could people possibly hate more? boruto filler.#but nanashi was an amazing character and bort proved once again that hes the bestest boy in the whole wide world#and not to mentiom merz was really really hot when he took the bandages off his face. im SORRY BUT ITS TRUEEEEE LOOK AT HIM!!!!! FUCK DUDE#and message was so so beautiful and so was the animation and the effects. and just. GOD. they could have made that a movie#MAAAAN i wish it was!!!! that woulda made an INCREDIBLE movie!!!!!#im not gonna get over this. i will always be obsessed with this. holy shit#also im sorry mitsuki but i ship BoruNana/BoruHika now.#at least with nanashi i dont have to worry about her whole character getting thrown to the wayside since her story's already over#now this is reminding me of the anime throwing ryogi away even tho his relationship with shikadai made me feral#just cuz that wasnt an arc in the manga!!! WHICH WAS STILL TOTALLY IN AN ERA OF THEM HAVING ALMOST NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER#thats what fuckin shoulda happened. the anime and manga should have stayed wildly different stories#i hate how all the original plots that the anime started with got shafted to follow the manga's story#ryogi didnt matter. KAGURA DIDNT FUCKING MATTER CUZ THEY KILLED HIM OFF LATER CUZ I GUESS I NON-MANGA CHARACTER DOESNT MATTER#FUCK OFF!!!!!!!#i hate it here. i fucking hate naruto. leave me alone i need to wallow. im going to wallow brb. i need a wallow sesh#personal
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Whatever your opinion on dating sims is, I cannot stress enough to experience Doki Doki Literature Club at least once in your lifetime
#it's free. it takes 4 hours to complete. it will change your life#as long as you go in completely blind and NOT give up playing#like even if you want to - DON'T. please trust me#this is super random i know#but i just 100%-ed ddlc plus and omg#just.... the level of mindfuckery of this game#and the depth of its rabbit hole once you start digging into every tiny detail#i LOVE that i can get LOST in that shit#i remember stumbling upon this game a few years ago when it just came out and i was FLOORED#do take those warnings at the beginning seriously tho#personal#gaming
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learning a lot abt myself today. nothing good but that's business as usual
#not that i didn't know it's bad and painful but it's nice to get some validation. ofc I'm saying that tho. i have bpd.#i googled smth then started clicking all these google questions and went down a rabbit hole and now I'm spiraling 👍 oh well#bpd is literally like ''damn shit's fucked'' disorder except once the shit gets fucked you can never unfuck it#you can spray some air freshener if you're lucky. but the shit will forever remain fucked#. not the best analogy but you get me here i think. also i made myself laugh which helped my current panicking over being an awful person
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when do yall think sawashiro found out akane was alive . just wonderin .
#snap chats#WAS THIS A RECENT DEVELOPMENT OR EARLIER CAUSE IF IT WAS EARLIER OHHHHH MY GODDDDD#i just might throw up at the potential of sawashiro knowing akane was alive while arakawa was still alive#ouuuuugggghhhh demons BACK /BACK/ I SAY JUST WAIT TWO MONTHS#if this motherfucker confirms he knew while arakawa was still kicking im gonna scream and piss myself#im getting evil ideas and i need to be STOPPED#when did they let his ass out of jail... did he get nosy once he got out or something..#honestly i was thinking about it this morning because i was laughing at how mine and sawa both did 'research' on their bosses#mine was mentally ill about it jo just wanted to be with his son and was just findin shit out but NOW. how far did the rabbit hole go...#inevitably he wouldve learned about akane one point or another whether because arakawa told him the story or he discovered her#but when did he Discover Her yk. when did yall start being pen pals SHE ADDRESS YOU AS 'MR JO SAWASHIRO'#i still think thats cute. sorry. moving on POINT IS NOW /IM/ NOSY#january 26th cant get here any sooner#also can i just say i think i tricked myself into thinking the game was coming out the 24th like when the fuck did that happen#HOW the fuck did that happen... lol... anyway...#im gonna go now and try to ward the demons off bye#also should i make katsu curry today.... its the last of my curry and there really is no reason why i shouldnt other than im lazy#hmmm........... chicekn.....
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i was not prepared for the way you have to think about everything ever before making a webcomic
#currently thinking about#what color scheme i want to draw vs what would be appropriate for the character vs what would fit the mood of the scene#about . what a characters apartment looks like#hell on earth forever#do you know how many rabbit holes ive gone down jst trying to write this thing#yesterday i had to do research on autopsy reports Someone get me out of here#GRINS I LOVE WRITING AND CREATING AND ART SHAKES THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE#like it doesnt have to require this much thought i can just. make it and see whre it takes me#but if i dont know every single detail of everything i will go insane#also procrastinating because of a mix of i dont feel like writing and Im scared to start posting it once im done#since ive been working on this like universe or whatever for 2 Years so . PENSIVE EMOJI#i forgot how horrifying sharing your art is#to random people online#anyways back to the writing trenches for me my final message gootbye#my post 🔮#laurence says things 🌌
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wait wait wait wait hold the fuck up. do most people actually spend the majority of their time not in any pain???? like. none at all??????
#genuine question askgkskg#like every adult i grew up around has some sort of chronic pain so i think my view on the subject might be a bit skewed#but like. for real. nothing???????#not even like. a mild headache? or random back pain? or like shoulder or neck pain?#or even just like that mild ignorable pain you get from sitting down a certain way#or on a hard surface#like i assume there are some people out there blessed to not experience pain all the time#but is it like actually an expected normal thing???????#anyways i’m like 60% sure i’ve got a dry socket and somebody once again brought up the pain scale#oh pain scale thou art mine mortal enemy#and i once again fell down the internet rabbit hole of trying to figure out wtf the pain scale even means#bc it makes no sense to me and literally never has#like not even talking about the subjectivity of it when jt comes to different people rating things differently#i just straight up have no idea what to rank any sort of pain#bc by those descriptors i see all the time im normally at a 2-3 and like a migraine would be an 8-9???#which does not sound right?????#like i know with certainty there are significantly worse things out there#it’s just such an unbalanced scale????#like the first half of the scale isnt something i would bother seeing a doctor about if there wasn’t something else going on#that’s just like. normal. it sucks but it’s commonplace?#okay i have once again been distracted complaining about the pain scale aldjdkfkdkh#but for real i’m sooo confused#like are the majority of people really out there regularly experiencing zero pain whatsoever?????????#wild#couldn’t be me
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for anyone curious the song is called "Hai Yorokonde" by Kocchi no Kento and you can see the full original music video here!
I CAN'T GET THIS SONG OUTTA MY HEAD
#q#op i need you to know this post sent me down a 2-hour-long rabbit hole#of trying to find this song. and then once i found it trying to figure out what the lyrics mean#it's just been me and google translate vs the world#anyway it's a song about mental illness and getting help instead of hiding your feelings!#i think!! i am like. fairly reasonably sure#which makes it a great mp100 song#ANYWAY! GREAT ANIMATION OP#mp100#animation#this is a good Art#reigen arataka#shigeo kageyama#v
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could you make a jealous Nicholas smuttt???
request accepted!
crazy in love -nicholas
summary: you get jealous so you successfully make nicholas jealous in return and he teaches you a lesson.
warning: smut, pin v, unprotected sex (plsplspls use a condom), overstimulation (i think thst it not sure)
a/n: thanks for the request. pls keep them coming
nicholas wanted me to attend this red carpet event with him, and of course i was quick to accept but i quickly dreaded and pushed down the eargness i so suddenly felt to be able to attend such an important place. i started going down a rabbit hole of posts of him with other girls.
the comments collectively agreeing he looks better with the other women he has worked with in the past.
i cut my phone off and waited in silence for my boyfriends stylist to be done with the finishing touches on his suit.
i walk in the dressing room and he was laughing with his stylist, and of course she had to be a woman.
at the after party of the even i planned on getting pay back for the jealousy he probably didn't even know he had instilled in me.
--
we were here at the after party and I've seen a few recognizable celebrities there but wouldn't dare approach them.
nicholas' hand was comfortably placed around my waist "nervous?" he asks, his words coming out ever so subtly "nope, why would i be" he replied with a low hum; shrugging.
i left his side and went to go get drinks he dispersed off somewhere else as well.
not even 10 minutes later i found myself talking to some guy with nice brown hair that complimented his soft brown eyes but his looks didn't even compare with my man.
"do you have somewhere to be after this?" he asked and i just let out a chuckle "maybe" i looked around to seen nicholas eyes were already on us.
i swallow drly and try and wrap the conversation up "i think i gotta go" that was my abrupt attempt on ending the conversation.
"c'mon pretty lady i can make it worth your while" the man placed his hands on my hip trying to make me stay.
before i could say anything i was being dragged away from him to no suprise by my boyfriend himself.
"let go of me" my voice wobbles. i struggle to tug my hand out of his grip; trying to get free. "no, we're going home. now." his voice was stern and there was no question. we were going home.
-
in a hurry nicholas unlocks the door, we both walk in and he slams the door shut behind us "what the fuck was that!?" he shouts.
"suddenly we go to a party and you're single?" i feel guilty but then remember the pictures i saw of him with other girls; looking cozier then ever.
"tha-thats not what happend at all" i try to explain myself. "you need to be taught a lesson. wanna be taught a lesson love?" he asks, his hand firmly squeezing my cheeks too firm towards i could only nod
"yeah I'm sure you do" he scoffs and pulls me to our shared room.
once we reach the dimly lit room, the only light illuminating the room was the warm tone of the lamp.
Nicholas pushes me down on the bed and crawls ontop of me starting to place open kisses down my neck, to my collar bone.
going back up to my lips, grabbing my face kissing me roughly. i moan into the kiss giving him enough space for his tounge to invade my mouth, claiming me as his.
he stops what he's doing "take your clothes off" he demands. i comply and begin taking off my heels throwing them aside with a loud bang they hit the ground follwed by the other heel. then pulling my dress off painfully slow so he does it for me.
snatching the material over my head and tosses it aside kissing down my stomach, trailing down to my inner thigh.
"you're so perfect" he mumbles, his fingers mess with the hem of my lacey panties and pulls them down and off me.
he goes down on me and licks the arousal that leaked from my core. i bite my lip to suppress a moan.
another lick, and a pressured kiss against my clit. i was a mess. feeling his breath against me sent shivers all over. i let out a gasp when he swirl his tounge on me. i felt my orgasm nearing; the band ready to snap "close- oh fuck!" i shout
he pulls away almost immediately. "not yet you aren't. turn over f'me"
"please.. i just- m'sorry" i whine, turning over anyway putting my ass in the air "sweetheart this is a punishment you can cum whenever i say. alright?" he says with faux sympathy
i hear his belt fall to the ground and his zipper unzip before he positions himself behind me and lines his throbbing cock up with my entrance.
with a deep thrust, he buries himself far inside me. "you feel that? how deep im inside you?" i nod vigourisly letting out a whimper. his hips snap forward; each thrust giving pushing my body up the bed.
his hand moves down my back pushing my face into the bed allowing me to take him deeper.
nicholas leans down and whispers in my ear "could he fuck you like this?" everything was so intense i could harldy ever come up with a verbal response for anything he asked. so again i shook my head 'no'
he grabs my hair and makes a makeshift ponytail "could he?" ,,no" i cry out squeezing my eyes shut in relief when he lets go of my hair
he continues slamming into me at a relentlessly brutal pace. the only sounds that could be heard was lewed sounds of skin slapping together paird with my muffled moans
we discussed a safe word prior to moments like these and i would have used it in this moment but as intense as everything was it felt so good.
without warning i clench around him and realese the knot that had formed in my stomach bursting. his thrusts didn't slow down, "i didn't say you could cum" he disdainfully reminded
i hiss at the sensitivity. my vision began to blur with tears while I also realize this is him teaching me a lesson. "apologies" he demands "imsorry.. im so fucking sorry" i began sobbing
i could no longer keep my body up my legs began to shake but no matter the condition nicholas' hands kept me in place as he pounds into me. before i knew it he had finished inside me already
i was so far gone in a daze i didn't even realize it. he pulls out and lets my body flop onto the bed "are you alright?" he asks tucking pieces of hair that had fallen in my face behind my ear.
he gets one of the throw blankets and puts it over me. 'mm' is all i could muster up. i was fine but in the moment i just wanted to sleep
a/n: i wanted to add aftercare but i feel like this was long enough..
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doubts
drew starkey x younger!reader (like 19/20 sorry not sorry 😭), reader calls drew “papa” *not in a weird way*, smut, in love w the age gap concept cus of @native2princess ! <3
you watched yet another video on the internet of drew down at disney world without you, but with his friend group that all had a few years on you.
he would send pictures of everything that was cute or that reminded him of you, and you really did appreciate it. but it still didn’t swallow the lingering feeling in your gut.
you weren’t even invited. it was obvious why since you couldn’t even buy a drink legally, let alone not even close with half of them, but for some reason it still hurt and had you questioning things even further about everything.
you swore that you guys were drifting apart.
not only did that make you sad, but it also left you scared and questioning everything.
the only thing that made you wonder why you two were drifting like you thought you were was because of the age gap.
was he getting tired of you? was the age gap starting to become a burden? were you just too immature?
and let’s not even get started on how drew acted around his female friends — that were once again a lot older.
all you could do was just cry. it was a dumb reason to cry about, but you don’t wanna lose drew yet you really think you are. he was your first and you hoped he’d be your last, but who knows where you two may end up?
seeing how he acted with his friends currently was already ruining you. now you found yourself down a rabbit hole of searching through old videos of him before you were even dating.
it was crazy, of course you were aware of that. but it did nothing but further increase your worries seeing how he would act around these girls. all older than you and all more outgoing.
so now here you were, stalking your own boyfriend while you sat in your bed, silent tears streaming down your face.
currently, drew was now in paris for the fashion show. he wanted you to come, but it would be too difficult for you. plus school had just ended and both of you knew that you were planning to spend more time with your family this summer.
regardless of that, this feeling was awful. you’ve had old puppy-love heart breaks during highschool with guys you dated just to say you were in a relationship, but this is real. a real committed relationship you’re in with a guy a little over 10 years older than you.
he’s so mature. so are you, but not entirely. you still had a lot more to experience and learn, and he was always so patient.
but maybe now that patience was wearing thin.
you sniffle one more time before closing out all your apps and throwing your phone on the nightstand next to you. wanting to sleep it off and praying you’d wake up feeling better, your insides just were not letting that happen. not to mention you couldn’t fall asleep without at least getting a goodnight text from him.
laying down was no use. as soon as you tried to lay your head down on the pillow and just relax, the overthinking just continued to grow. there was no escape from these thoughts and it was just eating you straight alive.
you huff while turning over, switching sides and seeing if that would help. spoiler: it didn’t.
all you could do now is groan while sitting up. a certain thought ran through your mind that you really didn’t want to go through with, but did you have a choice? you already felt as if the end of things are near, so why let him break your heart (even though you’d be expecting it) when you can just do it the hard part first?
with a sigh, you reached over to grab your phone and open drew’s contact. everything was making you sick. you just stared at the screen, skimming over the conversation you had earlier.
it was the usual. ‘hows your day’, ‘i miss you’, ‘this reminded me of us’, all the cute stuff.
but it just didn’t hit the same. that feeling of him leaving you because of your age wasn’t going anywhere, and it was making you feel insecure on extreme ends
your fingers started typing. there were no real thoughts, just your pure raw emotions. you hit backspace a couple of times, you sat there and thought about the next few words you were going to say, but eventually you got it all put together it pained you type, but it pained you even more contemplating on whether or not you should send it.
‘hey drew. i’ve been missing you a lot recently and i know it’s weird and you’re going to question why i sent this after you read it, but im sorry. i really do feel like you’re leaving me soon and it’s taking a toll on me badly. i don’t want this to end but i can tell that it is and i just know + feel like we’re drifting apart. i feel like it’s because of my age so i really do understand and respect that. we can talk more once you get back because i hate to do this over text but i can’t just bottle my feelings anymore. goodnight 🩷’
a few more seconds of contemplation, you hit send and stared at the screen. you didn’t know how he would respond so you should’ve been shutting off your phone and running away.
but you didn’t. you stared at the screen and waited until he read it.
thankfully, it didn’t take him any longer than three minutes to open your message, and soon after, the dots were bubbling.
drew himself was lost. confused wasn’t even the word for the long paragraph you just sent him. he even started triple texting you.
‘???’
‘what are you talking about baby?’
‘i’m so lost’
you sighed reading his texts. he didn’t get it, realistically you shouldn’t have expected him to. it was out of the blue, and little to your knowledge, he didn’t think for a second anything was wrong between you too.
when you didn’t answer him as soon as you read it, he went back to typing.
‘answer me’
‘i’m really confused and worried. it’d be nice if you stopped leaving me on read’
‘call me now’
you didn’t even have a chance to start typing because you had an incoming call with drew’s name on it. you didn’t wanna pick up, but you knew you had to because if the roles were reversed, oh you’d definitely be throwing a fit.
swallowing quickly, you hit the green answer button to drew’s facetime call but moved your face out of the camera.
he’s walking, most likely back to his hotel with furrowed eyebrows and an expression that you think showed… annoyance?
drew’s the first one to speak up, “y/n, what the hell are you talking about?” he says sounding very confused and very upset as well.
“i feel like we’re drifting apart apart i don’t know.” you replied. your voice isn’t even a third as stern as his. it’s not stern at all nor convincing.
“where is that coming from? what are you talking about it’s our ages?” he questions you again.
you really hoped a fan wouldn’t come up to him. not because it would interrupt the call, but because they would be walking up on him pissed off and getting a taste of his very apparent bad mood.
you sighed, “it’s just how i feel. maybe i’m not mature enough for this.”
his face scrunches with confusion even further. he then looks down to his screen to see the ceiling you were showing.
“why do you all of a sudden feel this way? you are mature. if you weren’t, this relationship wouldn’t be a thing in the first place.”
this was something else you wanted to avoid; him being mad at you. you hated making him upset and now that you were already upset, and he was just getting annoyed with you, it wasn’t helping and it made you feel worse.
“show me your face baby. you know i don’t like talking to walls.” he says once you don’t respond to his actual voice this time.
reluctantly, you put your face in the screen. sitting up and cuddling onto your bed sheets.
“y/n, nothing is wrong. we aren’t drifting apart at all so i don’t know why you feel otherwise. we’re okay and you know this, baby. stop overthinking.” he reassures you.
before you could finally respond with anything else, you heard a few girls calling his name from the other side of his phone. good luck to them!
“i’ll call you back. we’re not done talking.” he says, then swiftly hangs up.
you wanted to puke. you hated being in any type of conflict with people, let alone being in one with drew.
a headache was starting to form, and it forced you to lay back down and sleep. you kept your phone right next to you on your bed, just in case drew woke you up by ringing your phone again.
—
you weren’t sure when the previous night you fell asleep, but you didn’t wake up until 12 the next day. and that was due to your doorbell ringing multiple times at once.
you whined at the fact you had to leave your warm bed, but you slowly made your way down your apartment’s stairs, rubbing your eyes and forcing yourself to wake up.
opening the door ready to curse out whoever had the nerve to wake you up at this hour, it was drew standing at the door with flowers in one hand and his stuff in the other.
now this is what really woke you up.
“how are you here…?” you questioned.
he exhales, “soon as we hung up yesterday i checked out and booked a flight here. we really need to talk in person.
you step to the side to let him in, then he shuts the door behind him and hands you the flowers.
both of you take a seat at the table. “i need you to fully explain what you’re feeling. that paragraph honestly made no sense and as soon as i read the whole thing i knew i had to get down here.” he says.
you press your lips together before speaking. “i’m sorry.”
he makes a face of puzzlement and also motions for you to keep going.
“maybe im not mature enough for this, drew. i don’t know.”
“what makes you think that? what happened or what did i do that has you questioning everything?” he asks, reaching out for your hand.
you sniffle before continuing, “i just feel like im holding you back. you’re buying drinks, going to clubs and hanging out with your friends who are all around your age and im still in school. it’s not working-”
he cuts you off before you can finish that. “those aren’t reasons, baby. it is working. do you feel left out or something?”
“no it’s just,”
there’s a pause before he says something again, “just what? i don’t understand what’s got you so in your head.
“i don’t know how to explain it. i just think you’re drifting from me because of where we’re at in life and i hate it.” the words finally form, and you can feel a little bit of weight being lifted off your chest now that you’ve got it out.
his expression now shows a face of understanding, then he’s standing up and swiftly making his way over to you, lifting you up before securing your legs around him.
you let out a squeal at the action. when he was balanced, he made his way upstairs to your room with you in his arms.
stepping into your decorated room, he throws you down on the bed then hovers over you. “i’m gonna prove to you that you deserve this relationship.”
his lips make their way to your jaw, leaving little lovebites on them, then down to your neck and chest.
your hands fly to his buzzed head. you let out soft sighs at his lips being on your body, a feeling you loved the most.
his hands travel to your pajama shorts then dipped into the waistband of your panties. as hes taking them both off at the same time, he distracts you by now placing his lips on yours, slowly making out with you.
now your hands are taking action, working to get is shirt off to see his toned body once again. when it’s off, one hand is still on his head while the other goes down to his abs, feeling on him.
now he’s starting to get quick, fumbling with his belt and pants, ready to do you into the mattress.
sooner than later, both of your clothes are off and in random sports throughout the room.
his middle and ring finger are inside you, stretching your out as you moan and grind into his hand.
drew’s cock is laying there on your stomach, practically reaching your ribs. this was just another reminder of how deep he really goes when fucking you.
you could barely keep your eyes on him while his fingers worked you. “that feel good?”
you moan out a “yea.” you definitely couldn’t let him go. the way he could make you fall apart with just his fingers is crazy as it is.
“i bet, baby. already so wet. you know what you want huh?” he coos.
this makes you nod. “want your cock, please.” you reach your hand down to where it rested on you, but he moves your hand away.
“i know you do. but i need this pussy stretched and ready for me.” he responds
“i can take it! promise! just give it to me,” you whine.
drew gives in at your begging. he removes his fingers from inside you before sticking them in your mouth.
he grabs his cock before lining it up with your entrance. he slowly pushes in, making you whimper around his fingers. it hurt a little bit, but the pleasure overrode the pain.
“shhh,” he hushes you, putting his cock in all the way and forcing you to take all that he gave you.
you continued to let out sounds because of the pleasure he was giving you. drew was letting out groans of content himself.
“feels so good, baby. so fucking good.” he throws his head back.
his words did nothing but turn you on more. your eyes squeeze shut before you guide his hand out of your mouth and onto your throat, signaling what you want from him.
he smirks before moving his other hand to your throat, choking you slightly but enough that you can still breathe.
“yea you like when i go hard on you, right baby? this pussy just loves when i go rough on her, doesn’t she?” he teases.
“mhm!” you squeak, loving the feeling of just taking all of him so deep and so rough.
he makes your legs cross completely around him before leaning down into your neck.
this was your favorite position. you being on your back, him groaning in your hear and putting hickeys on your neck, it was so much at once and you loved it real bad.
his lips are right next to your ear. “i’m not going anywhere, yeah?”
he lets out another sound before continuing, “you’re not leaving me either. neither of us are going anywhere.
your breath catches in your throat when he says this. maybe this was all you needed. some reassurance, and a good pounding to go with it.
he sits up before pulling out to turn you around. now that you’re flat on your stomach, he slides right back in with a hand on your lower back right before your butt and the other pushing your head down into the pillows.
you screamed out when he started thrusting all over again. it hurt so good, you just wanted to do this forever him.
you tried to move away slightly because he was just going ham on your poor hole. but all it took was you reaching one hand up, gripping the sheets and trying to pull away before he yanked your head back by your hair. he then brought your back up to his chest and held you by your throat.
“stop running, baby.” he growls into your ear.
“it’s so deep tho, papa.” your eyes squeeze shut as your mouth hangs open.
he kisses right below your ear, “you’re fine.”
that bubbly feeling started to form again. you were about to cum, and somehow drew could always tell too.
“know you’re gonna cum, mama. hold that shit.” he tells you as he pushes you back into the sheets.
right now that request just didn’t seem possible. “i can’t!”
he gives your right cheek a firm slap. “you can and you will. don’t make me say it again.”
you guys stay in this position for a while. him just hitting it from the back deep and all you needed to do was lay there and take it like a good girl.
his good girl.
suddenly, he flips you back over, then lays down himself setting you on top. now he’s got his feet planted on the bed, thrusting up into you.
at this angle, you guys can see the belly bulge happening from how deep his cock was. just proving how big he really is again.
“see that baby? that’s me. all up in those guts.” he says to you.
you throw your head back, but he cups the back of your head to bring you down into him, chest to chest.
“y’the only one who gets fucked like this. y’know that? only one who deserves it too,” his arms wrap around your waist now. “only fucking one.”
his lips are practically on your ear as he says this. you’re only able to nod, but he wants to hear your voice.
“tell me you understand that baby, say it.” his thrusts slow down, but there still deep, and he’s angling it to make sure he’s hitting that good spot.
“i…”
another slap hits on to your cheek. “say it, princess.”
“yes! i understand!” you finally moan out.
“yes who, baby?”
“yes papa!” your voice is weak now.
he smirks at your submission and continues to fuck you hard. more than just a few thrusts later, he’s letting out a lot more groans than what he already was.
“shit baby… y’gonna make me cum soon. you gonna let me put it in you, hm?”
“drew…”
his hips are starting to stutter. “know you’re ready to cum too. been holding it in like papa told you too, good girl. fuckk.”
his arms are really really squeezing around your waist, keeping you still so you can’t try and move from his brutal thrusts.
“cum with me baby girl. got a big load for you.” he moans.
“don’t knock me up.” as good as the moment felt right now, you were dead serious about that.
he chuckles, “i won’t baby. know you wanna feel that cum all in your stomach tho.”
you moan one last time before finally cumming around him. you couldn’t hold it back anymore, no matter how much he told you to wait for him.
but your own orgasm sent his off. he felt you come undone around him, and two seconds later you felt his hot sperm fill you up.
drew’s arms moved from around your waist to seriously gripping your hips down, not letting you waist a drop of what he had to give you.
moans and deep breaths were coming from the both of you. that was the most intense sex you guys had for a while, not to mention the first time he’s actually came inside you.
when he finally came down from his high, he slowly pulled out of you and just let you rest on his chest.
“thank you,” you quietly speak up.
he doesn’t respond, but he smiles and kisses your forehead.
minutes after just sitting in silence, he sits up against your headboard and takes your face into your hands.
“baby, when i say youre what i want i mean it. if you weren’t mature enough for me, i wouldn’t still be here.” he says. you don’t actually answer, you want him to keep going.
“i love you so much, sweetheart. nothing about that is going to change and nothing can make it change. i don’t know what you saw or if i did something, but im sorry. okay?”
you nod with a smile. “okay.”
he smiles back at you then pressed his lips against yours, giving you a nice firm kiss. which slowly turned into a makeout.
you guys pull away just to catch your breath, “we gotta get you packed up, sweetheart.”
“for what?” you ask.
“i’m taking you back to paris with me.”
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