#then this year popped up and came thru

[teslalindocruz]

married, figured my life out, two cats, and a fulltime job. this year has been good for me 🙏

[dilf-docs]

I'm Happy Where The Devils Are

dbf!joel miller x younger!reader

summary: something something about forbidden things; you never learn, not until the heart you gave returns to you in shreds, bleeding out of love. what's left when you've given all of your heaven away? hell.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (but this time it's sad not hot or both idk), smut, p. in v., virgin!reader, (forced??) creampie, fingering, riding, oral (f. receiving), corruption kink, reader has no daddy issues ++her dad is lovely nor mommy issues like me but a secret third thing, ANGST IN CAPITAL, situationship™, jumping very late to this trend or series IDK hope someone still lurks around this neighbourhood, joel has no kids and is unmarried cause i need him to be BITTER, in short this is very AU canon divergence at max coded

word count: 7,629 words

side note: IF U SAW IT POSTED BEFORE NO U DIDN'T IT WAS A HONEST MISTAKE (clicked publish instead of save draft) OKAY i just searched thru my top 2024 songs by spotify for some inspo and well!!!!!! my yet to be dilf RM's (or joon as i, his wife, loves to call him endearingly) song called heaven popped up! those are the vibes if u wanna give it a listen (PLS DO OKAY HE RANKED TOP KOREAN ALBUM THIS YEAR AND I SEE I'M GETTING OFF THE HOOK BUT HE DESERVES IT RAHH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH) and yk i said it's got the miller vibe going on: ANGST™ okay stopping my rambling and letting y'all enjoy (or suffer, idk anymore: as u see, i have a thing for sad complicated old man and suffering myself, because i could've choose any other idea but here goes user dilf-docs the angst whore choosing to suffer again lolz)

part: I / II

It was winter when he first touched you.

Joel Miller: a name you've learned to pronounce like it was spoken on a different language that only you knew.

You've known him for years, a familiar face that stands in corners and only laughs when spoken to, begrundingly, like it's rather a favor than something of his amusement. A guy who would drop by your house until you learned his name like he'd learn the games you'd force him to play. A friend of your dad, who moved back to town and has haunted your house since he stepped a foot inside, tainting the walls with his pine phantom.

Joel's a face you've seen age as much as he's seen you grow out of your pigtails and child-like wonder: and perhaps that's why it's wrong.

It is all so wrong: the way your gaze lingers a bit too long over his tired and bitter expresion, looking for those flickers of softeness that appear when your dad calls him. Old friend, filled with affection, and Joel can't deny the only man who hasn't left his side a smile that he hopes is enough to express what he can't; he's not good with words.

It is all so wrong: how the sheets stick to your body while you scream his name, the sound drowning against your pillow, your body leaking with the secret of an unspoken desire that gets harder to hide with each passing day.

But you can't help it: one day the feelings started to blossom and the admiration left for the crush to harvest until it fully bloomed in your chest. Its petals have asfixiated you ever since.

On winter, you returned to town, like a vice. You always came back for the holidays, a silver of hope that shouldn't exist. You felt it in the air, impregnated with a heartbreak so cutting, it was hard to remember when the winter carried the happiness it should've; all that's left was the cold, harsh feeling.

"Y/n!" your dad embraces your body on a hug as warm as a fireplace, "you're home"

He passes you around the people over, because that's how he always is: joyful, the house full with guests that don't stop at family, but feel as close as those of blood. She came! he loudly yet proudly announces your homecoming, adding small sprinkles of how's college and how smart his little girl is (a nickname he can't let go of, not caring if you were ten then and now just above twenty), not caring if your face is as red as christmas easters.

"You have to stop, dad" you plead with annoyance, but a small smile betrays you, "no one wants to hear how I'm top of my class again, for the millionth time"

"Well, it's my house" he jokes, "so they better get used to it" he then looks around the room, as if he's forgetting something, "ah, someone I must bore with your stories is missing..."

He talks to some more people around and you have to plaster a smile and salute faces you can't recognize, but as on cue, the door flings open, some people near the entrance greeting a face you've yet to see and recognize. Your father gets there first, the smile that spreads across his face making your stomach tie in knots.

"Joel's here!" he delivers with excitement, unaware of how your polite smile falters.

"Joel's here" you repeat, grief laced within your words. Grief of what? You don't know, but you do know a part of you dies the more you look at Joel Miller the way you're not supposed to.

"Come say hi" your father insists, happy in his ignorance, despite your paced walk and stiff demeanor.

And walking your way is him, the man who owns your heart without knowing.

His hair is still as soft as ever, more tints of grey sprinkled through it. Your fingers itch to trace it, so you keep your fists closed until the red nails dig into the tight white flesh. He has more wrinkles, pronounced when his brows furrow at the sight of you.

"I know she's grown a lot, but I hope you still recognize her" your dad says with affection, "isn't she beautiful, my y/n? Grown into a whole lady"

Your heart hammers against your chest as Joel looks you up and down, but there is no emotion across his face.

"It's only been a year, but sure, she has" as stoic as ever, but it's enough to make your nerves wreck. You can't believe how much a simple stare and a few words can get to you.

But you were always like this: weak. Back then, at kindergarten grounds, when making a friend seemed the hardest task. Now, at university, when you wonder if something is wrong with you that always makes you the last option to choose.

Maybe that's why Joel, a man so strong in appearance and character, never liked you: that all those memories were a dream, and he just did it as an extension of his affection for your dad.

You'll never forget that dinner last year, on these same days, when for the first time, both your parents left you alone with Joel, their guest for the night. There was a storm outside, and it was almost funny how the brash wind against the window mimicked your steady heart. You didn't know he was coming, but when you did, you put on your best dress on purpose and dusted a makeup palette a friend gave you, yet he didn't even look your way.

"Do you hate me, Joel?" you asked in a whispered breathe, the cold silence as answer.

It's contradictory, really: your love grows where his hate does. More like hate, it's a disregard so cruel, you can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with you, making you attached to an older man that only seems to have apathy for you. Because one thing is attraction, but other is the deep adoration where you'd die if he were to ask you.

It's your fault, really, for turning his life into folklore. You still remember sitting on your father's lap as he talked your ear off, full of stories that Joel, always by his side, would quietly laugh, the fireplace casting shadow over a man who seemed to overpower the darkness that now is palpable on his gaze. He'd said your dad was making him greater than he really was, pinching your cheeks as he called you sugar, reasoning you were so sweet.

But since last year, something shifted: he started avoiding you, like he resented you.

And you never understood why. So every season you've searched in his eyes for a sign, anything, that can make you go back to that speacial relationship you had, missing him like a little kid. It's been a year, and you feel, if possible, more at loss than before.

Back to now, it's almost midnight, and most of the guests have gone already. You've tried to look cool in the eyes of those who are still there, conversation flowing easily through your eggnog-tinted tongue, yet you know it's all pretend.

"Excuse me" you can't take it anymore, the air suffocating you in anxiousness.

"Where are you going?" questions your mom, stopping you in your tracks before going up the stairs.

You turn around and feign a smile, "Up to my room"

"Are you okay?" your dad asks with worry.

"Yeah, just tired" you lie with ease, and the miles you've driven back it up.

"If you need anything, just tell" she says.

When you fall against the mattress, all the weight settles in. You close your eyes and count to ten, breathing in and breathing out.

The door creaks, so you get up as you open your eyes. "Dad" you start, knowing he's all about giving you talks, "Not now, please-"

"M' not y'r daddy"

You shiver despite the closed windows.

"Joel!" you jump, straightening yourself, "did dad send you?"

He doesn't respond, looking at you through brown warm eyes that reveal nothing. The pit in your stomach grows along awkward silence.

"It's cold outside, isn't it?" you attempt to make conversation, hating the silence. But you fail: he's still here, and regardless of his indifference, he doesn't leave.

Maybe it's the bit of alcohol from before, but you're standing over until you get close to his resting figure against the doorframe, the darkness of your room leaving his face, now barely lit by the light outside in the hallway. Joel's so close you can hear his breathing, and it surprises you the way it drags like a cigarette.

You feel confident for the first time, defiant even, tired of it all, like if it was his fault you loved him. You're sick of him viewing you like a naive kid who knows no better.

"Joel, why are you here?"

The lavender gets under his nose, his skin on fire. He looks at you again, but this time, the brown in his eyes darkens.

"Joel...?" you ask on a shaky breath.

Before you can register, there's warmth against your cheek. His fingers graze your face with an unspoken yearning on his fingertips, as he gently grabs your chin.

Your breath hitches, hand traveling to feel his on your face, to see if it's real and not a dream.

"Joel, what are you doing?"

He backs up, like your touch burns. And then looks at you, as if you're a stone on his shoe: just like all those boys back at the city, who have rejected you. You feel small, like crying.

"M' sorry" and walks out of your room, his scent up your nose. His limping figure walks down the hallway that now looks longer. You don't realize how long you've stared until you hear your father ask downstairs where was he.

It's like he was never there.

It was spring when he first kissed you.

It's funny how you still came back home after such disastrous holidays.

Joel stayed for the rest of the holidays, including Christmas and New Years, and when he hugged you in the living room full of guests, you had to pretend his fingers hadn't hold you differently before. You both lied your way out, and when you left, for the first time, you felt relieved, which is why it took some convincing from your father to make you return for spring.

"You couldn't miss this" he insists, "it's the best time to visit the cabin"

And you have to agree: a small cabin by the lake that your parents bought when they first moved in to town, a place you spent most of your childhood. Your father taught you how to fish there, and ever since, even as you moved away for college, you came back to do so, a tradition kept intact despite the years.

Your mom looks at you from the rear view mirror. "He wouldn't stop talking about it, afraid you wouldn't join us this year" your dad hushes her, embarrased, "oh! Don't act like you didn't"

Truth is, you'd still come: you miss the green tickling your bare feet, the cold water, and the sun kissing your skin as you lay outside. It's a lie you don't wait all year to leave the cold city and embrace the blooming spring.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything, dad" you lay against the car's door, closing your eyes as you smile. He doesn't say anything, yet with the way your mom giggles, you know he probably got teary or something―your sappy old man.

The car stops, the cabin in front of you. You feel like crying, so many memories flooding you. Alright, you're being sappy just like your dad, but it's been a hard semester and you missed your family.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you something" he says as you get out. The small denim short rides up as you stretch, your legs numb from the trip.

"Yeah?"

A car honks from behind. You jump, loosing balance as you trip. "Ow!" you land on the grass, embarrasingly so.

"C'mere" you look up, the sun blinding his face. "Lemme help ya', sugar"

The nickname feels like a slap to your face, so you stay there stupid, body stiff as you raise up, Joel's face flooding your field of vision.

"That's what I forgot to tell you" your dad laughs, "or who"

You're not laughing. Joel Miller is here and it's ruines your trip.

"Well, you should've" you took his hand just for the show, because you know your mom is observant. If there was an electric rush, you must've imagined it, just as the way his hands fall to his sides, twitching.

Over the next couple of days, you try to ignore him as much as you can, pretending your spring hasn't changed: fishing, laying down, sun and baths.

"Hey"

Your sun glasses rest on your nose as you raise from your spot, laying on a towel on the grass as you sunbathe.

"What'd want, Joel?" your tone is icy, contrasting the warmer climate.

"M' going to the lake" he mumbles, then stays silent. It's almost as if he's waiting for you to answer.

"Okay?" you lay down again, "have fun"

"Y'r dad said you'd teach me" he raises a fishing row.

You groan in annoyance, getting up from your spot, "why doesn't he do it?"

"Said y'r the best" then coughs, "besides, I think him and your momma needed some time alone..."

You walk past, shoulder brushing against his. You've never been this childish before, but your anger fuels your emotions: rage when you see him and remember how the warm of his touch turned cold in seconds.

You arrive at the small dock, sitting on the rather hot wood. You don't flinch, trying to prove nothing. Joel sits next to you and makes a face at the burning sensation.

"What?" you mock, venom dripping from your tone, "can't handle some heat?"

He just scoffs, passing the row to you with a little more force than necessary.

Your petty revenge is splashing his shirt, damping the cotton with the lake's water.

"I'm sorry" you apologize, feigning an innocent tone, "wanted to freshen up"

"Thought ya could handle the heat" Joel grumbles.

Then he curses under his breath, taking the shirt off and tossing it to the side.

You take in now shirtless body, admiring the strong muscles, broad shoulders and sturdy back. He sits next to you, his belly pushing just above the seam of his shorts. You recoil, almost as if heat radiated off his body, your cheeks burning. Your hands tremble as you hold the row, and it takes every strength of you to not succumb to the dangerous view; it's all too tempting.

"Y'r gonna teach me or what?" he breaks your train of thoughts, his voice so low, as if you were a little animal he was trying not to scare off, "just gonna stare? Ain't y'r daddy taught ya some manners?"

A current shoots through your body and looses itself in the middle of your legs.

You divert your gaze, ashamed. "Don't know what you're talking about"

"Liar" but it's so soft, it sounds more like an observation than an accusation.

"Drop it, Joel" you focus on the water but you know your mind is elsewhere.

"Sugar..."

You feel like throwing up. Why after ignoring you is he calling you like he used to? When he was your favorite person in the world and you were his. He used to hold you close, but now acts like your touch is poisoned. Joel confuses you too much; he's got you feeling like screaming at the sky.

"I said drop it, Joel" you seethe, "you may be old, but you're not deaf"

"And you may be young" his fingers remove the glasses from your face, your wary eyes in exhibit, "but y'r too bold"

They stay there, on your face, his rough fingertips touching your soft sun-kissed skin.

You don't know why you do it, but you do.

You get up, your legs on his face. Until then, you don't realize how close you two were.

"I'm not bold, Joel" you whisper, "I'm scared"

And then you jump.

The world reduces to a blur, body as light as a feather. The sensation of falling is familiar and you don't know why.

It's barely a second, like a blink.

The cold water hitting your body brings you back to reality.

You can't see, it's all dark. But you feel free: you may be underwater, but over him.

You feel like you got the upper hand, but then the water starts moving and a huge splash next to you makes you look back.

Joel jumped too.

"What are you doing?!" you shout.

What are you doing to me? What do you want from me? What will you do to me?

"Takin' a splash" he answers, like it's obvious.

"You know what I meant" your tone is rather spiteful.

"And you had'a teach me" he's again in front of you, barely inches away, "so I guess we're both dissapointed we didn't get what we wanted"

There's water dripping from his hair, falling to his face. Water drops adorn his eyelashes, warm eyes deeper than ever, and you feel like drowning even as your body floats.

"And what do you want?" you challenge, the question implying only so much.

His lips clash into yours, hungry like a wolf. Your hands immediately grip his neck for support as his tongue forcefully gets inside of you, water droplets filling your taste buds. You gasp for air, all of your body pressed against his.

"That answer y'r question?" tone defiant, as if he's also a player on this game that's just started.

You just don't know yet how much you've got to loose.

It was summer when he became yours.

You'd never anticipated coming back home as much as now.

The lingering feeling of his scruffy beard against yours, back pressed against the walls of the shed at midnight while he devoured your lips in a hungry kiss has stayed with you since you left the cabin, trapped in the salt air. Now you're coming back for more, butterflies in the low of your belly as you remember his words:

"When y'get back, I'll have ya' a surprise"

You park at your house, searching for the keys under the rug, but they aren't there. You knock to no answer, so you call your dad and mom, only for both of the calls to go directly to voicemail. Yes, you came a day earlier than planned, but your parents are always home the week you arrive, so something must be going on.

Before you worry, a voice behind you says:

"Ain't nobody inside. Y'r folks went out"

It's Joel, looking as good as the last day you saw him. Just to taste him again, you were complaint on every single of his requirements, one being no contact. He claimed he didn't want to distract you back at college, and you didn't ask any more questions, afraid you'd press a wrong button and loose what felt like a dream.

"Really?" you walk out of your porch to where he is, resisting the urge to kiss him in the middle of your neighbourhood's street.

"Hmh" he nods, "said they ain't comin' back soon"

"They told you so?" you question, "why do I feel you had something to do with it?"

"Ain't do shit" he crosses his arms, the t-shirt sleeves making his arm muscles more prominent. He then coughs, "just recommended y'r dad a nice restaurant outside town. Maybe they'll be later than night, traffic is kinda packed at late"

You smile, "Joel?"

He doesn't look at you, "yes?"

You fail to suppress a giggle, "did you just get rid of my parents?"

"No" he answers, stern. "Now" he looks around, all doors closed, "why don't 'cha come inside? Sun is hittin' hard"

He's a terrible liar.

As soon as you enter his house, you can't believe you've never been there before, visits usually in your house.

It's exactly what you expected: a simple and sober decoration that hides a welcoming feeling somewhere. There's something else you notice: the lack of pictures.

"Make yourself comfortable" he says, coughing, looking akward all of a sudden. You want to laugh and coo his now insecure demeanor, shy in your present. If he seemed sure before, he doesn't anymore. "I''ll get ya' some water"

"Joel?" your voice comes out low, equalling a purr. His cock twitches in his pants at the way you call him.

"Yes?" he swallows, adam's apple bobbing.

"I hope you didn't bring me into your house just for a glass" then you sit on the couch, the small short you're wearing riding up your thighs. "Besides, I'm not thirsty"

He doesn't move, almost as if he's lost the ability to react; in a trance.

"What do you want?" voice deep, like he'd give you anything you ask.

"Have you forgot already, old man?" you quip. "You promised me something" even if your voice is steady, your fingers tremble when you start un-buttoning your shirt, "and I'm waiting for it"

If he could drool like a dog, he would. He slowly gets closer to you, until he's towering over your sitting figure.

"Ya' think it's funny tempting me like that, sugar? Playing with an old fuck as me like that?"

You whimper, resolve melting quickly. "N-no" you feel ashamed, hand ready to button yourself again until his hand grabs yours, stopping you from doing so.

"I'm sorry, sugar" he raises your body swiftly, making you stand up. "Actions have consequences, and I'm gonna teach ya' some"

When his lips land on yours, you feel you've reached heaven again. His mouth easily know your roads, traveling to every spot he can to deepen the kiss. He eats you out like he's starved, sweat starting to pool in your foreheads. He grabs you by the waist, pulling your closer if possible, your chest clashing against his pecs. His heart hammers against you, and that's all you hear aside your raggedy breaths and famished clashing. You grab his hair again, feeling the soft texture under your fingers. Joel moans against your lips when you bite his, something a friend told you to do, and it's proven to work.

"Where'd you learn that, huh?" you taste like strawberries, the proof on his now coated shiny lips and your disheveled gloss. His grip turns stronger, "thought ya' were innocent, little vixen"

"I still am" you avoid his gaze, and even if his hold falters, when you look again into his eyes, there's a flame burning in them. "But I want you to have it, Joel"

"Sugar-" starts, condescending.

"Don't" you immediatly cut him off. "I'm an adult, I know what I want"

"I just want ya' to be sure" but his cock is already hard, "don't want ya' to regret it"

"I could never regret you, Joel" you whisper.

He picks up your body, that despite the years, is still as strong as ever. He goes up the stairs, looking at you so lovingly, you feel like anything is possible.

Maybe this is how it feels like.

He softly drops you onto the mattress, that dips under your weight. You place yourself against the bed head, and when Joel gets in, it creaks.

"I'm gonna make ya' feel so good, sugar. I promise" he slurs, "Now be a good girl and open up for me"

Your part your legs, and he's taking down your shorts until your lingerine is exposed. With wandering fingers, he traces your inner thights, delighted at the way you squirm under his touch. He then travels to your pussy, the clothe the only thing separating him from your bare cunt.

"Has anyone eat ya' down here before?" he can smell your arousal, seeing the wet spot in the middle of your panties. He's salivating at the fresh meal. You deny, embarrased, but he seems content at that, "those dumb college boys haven't treated you right? Then lemme show y'how a real man's supposed to eat ya'"

He strips you off your panties, landing somewhere on the floor. You shudder at the sudden breeze on your bare core.

"Already drippin' for me?" he softly laughs, "we ain't even started"

He dives down, the rough of his facial hair sending tickles through your body. He gives a small lick at first, as if testing. When you let out a small moan, he feels invencible. He keeps the ministrations going, more cute sounds escaping your lips. He wants to hear more of them, addicted to the sound, heat pooling when he remembers he's the one causing them.

"Liking it, sugar?" he stops to ask, his voice provoking more vibrations that hit your core in a pleasant way.

"D-don't stop" you plead in the middle of a whine.

He eats you like a madman. Slurping and sloshing sounds bounce off the walls, your hands gripping his greying locks tightly as his face pushes further into your puffy heat, sucking on the sensitive clit. With his filthy mouth, he takes on of the lips on his mouth, robbing a loud groan out of you.

"Your pussy, God" his breath fans against it, "tastes so good, sugar, sweet like you" he licks more, making it get wetter. You didn't know you had that in you, nothing compared to when you tried to touch yourself back at your dorm, too ashamed to try anything else.

He groans against your heat, sending another wave of pleasure through your body.

He then gets up, showing you his thick digits like one shows something new to a baby, "guess what?" you have no idea, and your innocent doe eye'd gaze makes him squirm at the thought of being the first to touch untainted territories (in many ways).

"M' gonna finger you baby, okay? I promise's gonna feel good" Joel assures as he slowly inserts one of his fingers. You arch your back as you felt his fingers in your warm walls. He then puts another, thick fingers in and out of your pussy, your arousal dripping down his wrist. You squirm and whine, thighs shaking at the intensity of the pleasure he was giving you. There's a weird tension happening down there. "J-Joel" you pant, "I feel-" 

"Let it go, sugar" he doesn't stop, "I'm here for ya' and y'r sweet cunt"

Liquid soon gushes out. "Fuck" he curses. You shy away and looking everywhere but his eyes. 

"Feels good?" you nodded incoherently, "wanna feel even better?"

He gets rid of his pants, the silhoutte hard under his underwear. You gulp, afraid you might not take it.

"Joel..." you call his name, hesitant. Fuck, he's so horny he could care less if he's too big for your first.

"We'll go slow" he leans forward to kiss your forehead, "I know'll take it"

"O-okay" you're still not sure and a bit afraid, but you want him, so you surrender to him.

You feel something heavy go inside your folds. You look down to see his enormous cock sliding in between your tight walls, the skin glistening in your slick,round tip leaking with his precum.

"Tell me" he's soft on you, despite what you're doing, "I'll stop if it hurts"

It does. It burns: how your cunt tries to adapt to his girth, stretching in a painful but delicious feeling.

"N-no" your voice comes out strained, drops of blood falling into the sheets, "keep going"

"Such a greedy thing are ya'?" Joel laughs, truly laughs, the rich sound coming deep from his chest, "what would daddy say?"

"Shut up" you bite, holding onto his shoulders for stability. Please, don't let me fall.

Half way in, he pulls out before diving back in, helping you adjust to his size slowly. Your eyes are trained on the way his cock disappears inside your leaking pussy.

"Should'I keep goin'?" he asks.

"K-keep going" you say softly, and with that, he gently starts inching into you.

"Good girl" he coos.

His cock stretches out your virgin hole perfectly, like it was meant for him. He feels himself melting at the sight of you, something to worry about later. Not now, when your breath hitches as he fills you up. Your cunt fit snug around his length, like you were made for him.

Joel drops his head on your shoulder as he fully entered you, tired, his energy not as much as when he was young. Beads of summer sweat shimmer in your bodies, as not only that but the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his dick make you warm.

Joel takes in a moment to see the mess he's made of you: parted lips, shut eyes, nails digging on his neck. You were deep in pleasure: because of him. His dick twitches at that, and inside of you, it makes you whimper.

"M' gonna start movin', 'kay? Tell me if it's too much"

His weight presses over your body before starting to pull out and push back in. The thrusts start slow, soon picking up a rhytmic pace. Joel grips your hips with his rough big hands, to then start fucking into you.

"Mhm" you whine.

"Mhm, what? Use your words, sugar"

"I-it feels so good, Joel" despite the pain, despite the doubts, the haze is so envolving, he's made of you a moaning mess, drunk in pleasure; the feeling of him inside of you has you seeing stars.

"Y-you feel good too, baby" he pants, your pussy gushing at each thrust. He starts going harder, making you scream.

"Who you belong to, sugar?" his hot breath pours in your ear, "say it"

"You, Joel" you whisper the answer like a sacred oath, "Just you. I'm all yours"

Before you can say anything else, his dick touches a spot within you. Such a sweet spot, that has you moaning and feeling something unlike anything you've experienced before: it washes over you as you clamp down on him. You hear yourself cry, voice barely recognizable. Your vision goes blurry, then mind blank.

Joel groans with your pretty cries of pleasure, watching the way your cunt milks his cock, drooling with your juice.

"Such a nice girl for me, sugar. Did so well" he whispers, and a dark tought crosses his mind. He feels dirty, taking advantage of your age and naivety, your figure still half-gone, "think you want me, all of me?"

You nod, still out of your mind, and before you can process the real meaning of his words, hot stripes of his seed plaster your walls, coating each inch of you. Joel presses his lips into yours to shut your moans, kissing you hard.

"You good?" you can only nod, still in shock, the events dawning over you. "Don't worry, I'll buy ya' a pill before your folks come back"

The sun shines outside; there's still time. You just wonder how much.

It was autumn when he said I love you.

Yellow and orange leaves fall in the roads not taken as you've fallen for Joel.

Ever since summer, you've been waiting for the next time to see him: sleeping with him being the last thought, touching yourself to his voice on your mind, drawing hearts in the bylines of your notes. His figure, first a dream, then a fleeting hope and now a high you need to feel once again, because you can't let go of the way he fucked you, your cries of pleasure, how your walls stretched for him and the way he held you that afternoon and the next nights you escaped your house, crossing the street under the moonlight, hiding as a criminal.

But you'd do anything to feel him, his heart beating against your chest like it was yours to bear. You need to see him, so you're doing the most stupid choice of your life.

There's a pause after you knock, and then Joel opens his door.

"Sugar!" he looks surprised, then angry and finally scared. "The fuck you doin' here? Ain't you supposed to come 'til winter?"

"I couldn't wait" you whine in desperation, clinging onto him like a koala. You'd searched for something, anything, that smelled like him back at the city, but even his flannel shirt you'd stolen had started to loose its smell.

He looks around, "do your-"

"No" you pause, "they don't know I'm here"

He curses under his breath, realizing just how much you're deep in this. He's fucked: fucked because he'll comply even if he knows this has to stop.

"I have the keys" you pick the dirt under your nails, a nervous habit of yours, "for the cabin"

Joel remembers last spring, how he ate you inside the walls of the shed, wishing for more. More came the next summer, and now you're hear again, looking at with with that look he hates: like you'd burn the world just to keep him warm.

"How'd you do that?"

"Took them last summer" you reveal your plan all along, "just in case" yet you had already made your mind before leaving town.

"Damn it, sugar" he's speechless, "you're fucking crazy"

You giggle despite the uneasiness creeping up, "just for you, Joel"

He takes you to the cabin on his car, yours already there. And you'd walked to his house? You have indeed, lost your mind.

"What're we supposed to do?" he thinks out loud.

You groan, "I don't know, Joel. But I didn't drive miles just for you to stand there"

He can't lie and say he hasn't thought about you: your lashes, soft when closed; the way his room still smelled like you even after two weeks of your parting, or how the sun seemed to highlight all your perfect spots. He even thinks of you on his bathroom while he grabs his dick, fucking himself to the memorized song of your moans and uneven breaths as he pulled in and out of you.

"Then get inside" he's demanding, and your panties wet at the tone and the voice you missed so much, "it's cold out'ere"

As soon as you close the door, he's grabbing your face with force, that it almost seems like two people fighting, not two who missed each other.

"Joel" you mumble, breathless.

"Missed ya' so much, sugar" he confesses against your lips. A trail of saliva hangs; silver of hope. "It was killin' me"

"I missed you too, Joel" you deepen the kiss, tears threatening to spill from the corner of your eyes. "Couldn't stop thinking about you"

"Yeah?" he sits on the living room's couch, creaking under the sudden weight. "Tell me what that pretty head of yours was thinkin'"

"You" in a heartbeat, and you see his gaze go from dark to something else, lurking behind; you're scared to find out what it is.

Joel motions you to come over. You take your shoes and pants off, siting on his lap.

"Yeah-?" his voice falters, "tell me what"

"How our names sound together, how pretty you are..." you wander. "I also thought about you, all of you, inside of me"

"Watch that filthy mout of yours, sugar" he chastises but there's no anger behind his reprimand, "one summer bouncing on my cock an' y'r already a needy slut"

You whine at his words, rubbing yourself against his tight.

"D-don't" he undoes his belt and jeans, leaving only his underwear. Your desperate fingers pull them down, revealing his already pulsating cock, "don't tease this ole' man and just do the real thing"

He lets you use him, his hips rocking forwards despite his creaking bones, your swollen clit dragging against his pelvis. He sees your face, how you bite your lip as you test your needs, fucking yourself while you ride him. He lets you because: one, he's old and tired, and two, he wants to see you until he's memorized every small detail of your face. He lets you edge yourself close, crying as you feel it coming, but then he plants his feet onto the wooden floor, his boots making a hollow sound that echoes through the walls, the only other sound aside your cries, and thrusts his length up into you.

You yelp at the sudden sensation of his cock inside of you again.

"Think I'd let ya' have it all?" he mocks, "need to fuck y'r pretty pussy too; gotta have it for myself. Would ya' let me?"

You can't deny him anything.

"Yes, Joel" his hands immediatly grab your hips with a pressure so strong, you fear there'll soon be a bruise there. His cock buries fully within you. The air fills with a strong scent, just your moans and his grunts bouncing off the walls, soon warming up from the cold, the crease of his eyebrow pronounced as he realeases, coating your folds with his cum.

"God, sugar" he sounds a bit embarrased, "look at you, makin' me cum so fast"

But he's too enamoured by the sight of you on top of him, still riding him despite his quick orgasm, so he cups your face gently, the beads of sweat on your forehead falling into his hand. He feels more alive than ever, like his life has just started. Oh, he can picture it: coming home to the smell of your food, kissing the absence of the day off your mouth, to then bend you over the counter. He wants so much more, but he knows it can't be, yet, he's far too gone to even think about turning around.

You lift your hips until his cock slips out of you, using your fingers to bring it back. His cum clings to your folds as you sink back down, hips barely lifting you back up before you keep him buried inside of you. He loves watching you slide down his length, slipping in and out of your puffy cunt as his cock softens. It pushes his cum back into your cunt, sticky over your clit as it drips to your thighs.

You did bring a pill this time, so you don't care of the mess his thick flood of cum that dribbles out of you has made on your pussy and his clothes.

"Fuck" you let out, sex-filled mind speaking up. "Don't ever leave me again"

"I won't" he answers hastily, then regrets it. But you don't know that.

Instead, numbness takes over your body, the events of last hours finally draining your body. Sleep settles in, and you nest your head on Joel's sweaty shoulder.

"Lemme take you to bed" you hear his half-drowned voice, carrying your body to the main bedroom.

Joel Miller was always a mystery to you: a man who seemed impossible to break, his world hiding behind a permanent scowl. It felt like his heart was locked, seemingly unbreakable, but where he was rough, his edges had softened for you.

He places you over the bed softly, dipping next to you. Joel's strong arms embrace you, pulling your tired figure closer. His face hides in your neck and his soft belly pushes against the curve of your back, all while he presses a soft kiss to it.

"I think I love you" he murmurs to no one in particular.

But you hear.

It was winter again, when he broke your heart.

Before the holidays, you'd drop by every other weekend. Cancelling plans, waiting for his call. For his grave voice to say Come over, and you'd speed up the brakes with an urgency only he had taught you.

You'd find yourself in the cabin, loosing track of time that rushed like a bottle of wine. Kissing until your mouth was swollen and the only thing that satisfied your hunger was his lips, fucking until sunrise and his bones ached. He'd then offer a tired smile, and you'd sing a soft tune in front of the fireplace while cuddling.

They say home is where the heart is. And it felt like one.

It was during one of those escapades that you showed up with your newest adquisition: a small cursive J just above your thigh, hiding under the plaid of your skirt.

It was your first fight. He shouted at you like he had never before, scolding you like a father would to a naive kid, the hatred you hadn't seen since he touched you that night a year ago, resurfacing.

"We're loosing ourselves" his voice cracked, sounding defeated. But then he'd suck the skin around it until it turned red.

The back and forth became the only thing keeping you alive, the need for his touch as addictive and destructive as a drug.

Which is why Christmas hadn't felt this jolly since being a kid.

You're back, and as you hug your dad and mom, you scour the place for his face: the one you've grown to yearn and love.

Your dad exchanges a glance with your mother and then looks at you weirdly before answering.

"He isn't coming; I thought you knew"

You don't care about the future explanations or the calls of your name, storming off and crossing the street to his place.

"Joel!" you shout, knocking desperately, "open the door!"

When you don't get an answer, you search for the spare key hiding under a pot in the porch. As you make your way inside, you spot Joel sitting in front of the fireplace, his eyes lost in the fire.

"Joel" you softly call his name. At that, he snaps, standing up. His eyes glow with the flames, circling in doubt.

"Sugar?" like he didn't expect you to actually search him on his absence, "what'd doing here?"

"I could ask you the same" you laugh, sardonically. "Don't know how I'll explain running off like that, so thanks, by the way"

"M' sorry"

The words fall heavy in the air, suddenly thick. Something tells you he isn't apologizing exactly for that.

There's something like guilt and fear simmering in his eyes. You think about all those times in the cabin, spring and autumn, and you're reminded of those three words he's said and you haven't. The realization hits you, and you're quick to reach him, grabbing his hand.

"Joel?" you call again. "I- I need to tell you something"

"So do I" but he sounds reluctant, "you go first"

"I don't know what's happening" your lip quivers, eyes glossy. God, he feels terrible, "but I want you to know that I love you"

He gasps, like you've slapped him across the face.

"No" he starts, pushing you away. He lets go of your hand, and the sudden cold hits you.

"I thought I still had time..." his shoulders slump in defeat, "guess I'm wrong"

"What do you mean?" anger and sadness flood your words.

"You can't love me" the words cut through you, and you're sick.

Sick of your rusting wheels that only move when he tells you to. Because that force, the dominance, Joel Miller seems to carry over the rest of the people, doesn't cut as deep as it cuts through you.

It's almost done with a benevolent authority, like he knows of said power and doesn't want to abuse it.

So now he's ordering you to stop loving him, like this year has meant nothing. Nothing.

"Love, funny word" your words carry rage, "do you even know what that means?" you try to hold back the tears in vain, "you don't, yet you say them so freely, like they mean nothing to you" he makes a surprised face, and you savour the pain reflected on his face, alike of yours. "Yes, I heard you, Joel. Y-you made me the happiest girl on the planet, but now I realize you're so full of shit"

You turn around, trying not to see his face, because you know that the more you look at him, the more seconds you add and the harder it would be to erase the memories you'll have to burn.

"Did you ever love me, Joel?" it pains you to whisper out loud.

"I love you, sugar" his voice is horse, like something had cut through it. "That's why I'm doing this"

"Are you, Joel?" you sigh, "if you loved me, wouldn't you want me to stay?"

"This won't end well" it's his answer, trying to reason, "I don't want to hold you back"

Coward. Asshole. Idiot.

Your tone is icy like the storm outside, "but it's already ended"

He's about to speak but you cut him off.

You can only smile. "I've given you everything and you took it. I really thought you were giving me your everything, but I realize now, that I know what you are. You don't need to hide it" he looks at you like it is you who's hurted him the most, "you're hard to love, Joel. But I tried"

He'll regret it. You know and you want to: you want him to feel the empty days blur with one another, that he remembers late at night what you had and he ended, so when he feels alone, the ghost of your free love haunts him with the happy days and sweet taste of your lips. Just then, he'll understand what your year of loving really meant.

You leave his house empty, a knife twisted in your heart. He's the only one who's got the key, and you know it will be long until anyone else can break it open.

But it's okay: if being with Joel was heaven, you'll happily burn in the flames of what's left.

[twijaxx]

Female Itoshi Rin x Female reader, Vampire Rin, She is lowkey kinda possesive? smut, occ Rin.

wc: 0,6k

The sun lightly peaked thru your window, you didn’t want to wake up just yet, but you decided to look at your phone to see what hour it was. 10:34 shit, that’s kinda late for you, so u decided to finally get up from your bed and do something productive since it was your day off.

“ahh… what i’m gonna eat for breakfast today?..”- you thought as where sitting on the toilet “i wanna eat some cereal” the thought suddenly popped out in your mind as you wipe yourself down there. (what the fuk am i writing) Blood, fuck you started your period, the worst six days every woman can go thru every month. You put on your pad (omfg i’m cringing so hard) and went to the kitchen for some pain killers.

As you walked in you saw your gorgeous girlfriend Rin, but something was off.. it was bright outside and she was just sitting on the couch like nothing happened?! “Rinnie it’s bright outside! what are you doing here?!! you’re gonna burn yourself” ahh you forgot to mention, Rin was a vampire so it really was confusing when you just saw her in the middle of the day in your living room, since half of the time she’s showing up when the sun comes down so she don’t hurt herself.

“Nahh it’s fine, it’s just.. a little warm..” “are you sure? i don’t want you to get hurt baby” -you said as you sat on Rin’s lap slowly kissing her face. Oh yea you came here to take painkillers and eat breakfast, so you stopped kissing her and stand up to do what you came here for, but she grabbed your waist and pulled u back on her lap.

“where do you think you’re going? you where so surprised that i’m here just a moment ago, and now you want to go somewhere?” What’s gotten into her? she usually don’t act like that only sometimes… Oh right, she probably know you are on your period by now. “Rinnie i just want to eat breakfast and take some painkillers, i started my period my stomach hurts..” - you said as you tried standing up again, she let you go this time. “that’s why you smell so.. ripe” What the fuck did she just said? “what…?” -she didn’t respond, so you just ignored that and started your day.

The day quickly ended, it was time for sleep now and you decided maybe Rin wanna cuddle together till you fall asleep?? that was almost an hour ago and now you’re just laying there while Rin is between your thighs eating you out like she didn’t ate for years!

You can’t remember how many times you came already.. four? five? You didn’t bother counting, it just felt so amazing, you were so sensitive because you were on your period ;3 You felt like the coil in your stomach is about to snap again!

“Rin ahh! i’m a-about to cum! mhhh!” You saw stars as you came on Rin’s tongue but she just kept licking between your folds! her nose bumping against your clit “Ri-nnie, no more!”

“You’re doing such a good job… my sweet girl can give me one more, right?”

You where too far gone to respond, just screaming out her name as she kept going and going. Good that you lived in the middle of nowhere cause you would already get noise complaints from the neighbors :3

You didn’t know when you came again but Rin slowly helped you come down from your high and you watched her pull away, her chin was covered in blood and your slick, was that a bad moment to say she looked heavenly? anyways, she just stood up without a word.

“Where are you going?…” She didn’t respond, but she came back seconds later with a wet rag and started cleaning you up, then she laid down beside you pulling you into her arms.

“I love you [name]… but you are aware that vampires are not able to feed off period blood right?”

“I love you too Rinnie… wait.. what?!”

tags: @isaisliterallyhim <3

Chat did i cook[flushed] lowkey it’s one of my first long “fics” but i guess its because its fem lock AND I FUCKING LOVE FEMLOCK and i love rin too the ending was kinda rushed cause i ran out of ideas THANKS FOR READING POOKS😝 oh and from everyone’s request… uh… i told yall… im lazy as fuck BE PATIENT

[fandomnerd9602]

Could you please make a story where Illyana Rasputin meets Reader's (Male Reader) human parents and Y/N's little sister plays with her?

Family

Illyana Rasputin x Wolverine!Reader

This was a big step for you. An even bigger step for her. Illyana was nervous to say the least. She was meeting your family after all.

Illyana didn’t have the best experience with the word family and yet here you were inviting her and driving her to meet your family in the Canadian countryside.

“What is your parents like?” Illy asked, her thick Russian accent melting thru.

“Dad’s a little gruff. Mom’s the softer side one. And then there’s my little sister Laura.” You chuckled, “it can be a lot but…it’s home to me”

Illyana couldn’t believe how lucky she turned out to be. You were originally sent to the Hospital as a mole. Someone to find out the secrets, escape and report back to Xavier. But you and Illy met and fell head over heels in love. Sure it was bad in the hospital but now there was only good times ahead for you.

You pull your car to a stop outside of your family’s cabin home. A little five year old girl came running out as you and Illy exited the vehicle.

“(Y/N)!!!” The little girl you call your sister shouted happily

“Laura!” You scooped up the little gal in your arms and hugged her tight. Illy couldn’t help but smile, so much love in so little time.

“This is my girlfriend, Illyana. You can call her Illy” you whispered to your sister.

“Illy. Hi” the young girl smiled “I’m Laura. Laura Howlett”

“It is nice to meet you-“ she couldn’t even finish it without the little girl hugging her tight.

Your mom and dad came out of the house. Your father was a gruff looking lumberjack of a man with mutton chops and a sturdy muscular frame. Your mom was a smaller frame with brunette hair and kind eyes to match.

Your mom quietly gestures for your dad to put out his cigar.

“Sorry” he mutters as he puts out his cigar.

“Mom. Dad. It’s great seeing you again.” You hug them both tight.

“Welcome home, sweetheart” your mom hugs you tight.

“Hey bub” your father chuckles as he gives you a hug too.

Illyana cautiously walks up to your parents, little Laura clinging to her hip.

“Mom, Dad,” you explain, “this is Illyana. She’s my girlfriend”

“Hello” illy offers a small shy smile.

Your mom gently shakes her hand and hugs her, “Kayla. Kayla Howlett. You’ve already met our little honey badger Laura”

The little girl giggles. Your father shakes her hand too.

“James Logan Howlett” your father smiles, “nice to meet you Illy”

Illyana couldn’t help but find herself easing a little bit. Your family was everything she had hoped for. You were all loving and supportive of each other.

She couldn’t help but chuckle when you and your father went out into the front yard to wrestle.

“Try not to hurt each other!” Your mom gently warned you both.

“Kayla, it’s fine” your father exclaimed as you and him stripped off your shirts. “(Y/N) is a chip off the old block”

You and your father ready yourselves. You give Illyana a little wink. She couldn’t help but blush.

You and your father pop out your silver, razor sharp claws. You give each other knowing and playful battle looks before charging at each other. The two Wolverines.

[faghubby]

Hard limits?

"Yes baby I fuck men, real men. I suck them, kiss them and swallow their seed. Anything else you want to know?" Jess replied to me a bit annoyed by my constant questioning.

"Just I mean" I wanted to know every detail. Could I watch? How big where they? What positions? How many men, how many times? Where there several at once? My mind went wild.

"Why don't you go put on something pretty" Jess said snapping back to reality. I smiled and ran to the bedroom. I opened my special drawer. I picked out a pink frilly bra and thong set. I stripped and put them on. My penis was hard and kept popping out. So I went to the bathroom and soaked a wash cloth in cold water my erection subsided and I slid on my little pink chastity cage. I felt extra pretty and put on stockings as well. The kids would be home soon. But I picked out a pair of woman's low ride jeans and put them on as well. Followed by one of my old concert shirts that I left unbuckled to hide the low ride jeans. I came out and Jess smiled.

"Shoes or socks I think" she said I looked down at my stocking edge feet and ran back to grab some socks. Jess lifted my shirt when I returned and smiled.

"They make your butt look amazing" she said and kissed me. "Feel better?" She asked. I just smiled. She felt the cage thru my jeans.

"OH! Without me telling you to?" Jess grinned. "Did you plug your ass as well?" I shook my head no but just then the door opened and in rushed Brian and Kelly. I sometimes wonder if I was their biological father. How long had Jess been cuckolding me? Kelly now 10 looked like her mom. And I could see maybe some similar traits to me in Brian at age 7 but was I just wanting to see them?

Jess had discovered my crossdressing fetish 3 years ago. After catching me dressed in her wedding gown. She confessed to an affair at the same time. Understanding why I never initiated sex with her. She continued to have affairs. She kept them private even from me. And encouraged my crossdressing. Eventually all penetration sex between us stopped. Best I could hope for is a handjob on my birthday or our anniversary. She would initiate sex with me, often by locking me in chastity and having me orally please her.

Just as the kids went to bed Jess snuggled up to me.

"How gay are you?" She asked her hand running along the inside of my thong.

"What? I'm not gay" I told her.

"Are you sure, what if I wanted to fuck your ass with a dildo? Would you let me?" Jess asked I couldn't say I had not thought about it. "You locked up your own penis today so that what your panties would fit better?" Jess asked. Her hand now massaging my balls.

"We could try it I guess" I told Jess.

"Paulie, try what you really want is a real cock isn't it?" Jess asked. "You already tried a toy, or was it something else?" Jess teased. "Tell me" she leaned in and kissed my neck.

"Yes years ago" I confessed.

"And you never told me" Jess smiled. "What was it?"

"The plunger" I moaned

"OH that's so gross" Jess told me.

"Jess I don't want a man" I squealed.

"Jessica, you should start calling me Jessica" she told me. "So hard limit is no real man to fuck your ass, make you suck his cock" Jessica giggled. "Stand up" she smiled. I stood.

"Jeans off" she commanded.

"Jess the kids" I wimpered

"Jessica or Ms Jessica" she corrected me. I took off my jeans right in the living room. She produced a vibrator and lube.

"Turn around and bend over" Jessica told me as she stood up pulling my thong aside. She applied lube to my ass.

"Tell me you want it" Jessica said cupping my balls again. I nodded

"Say it" Ms Jessica commanded

"Yes, please fuck me" I whispered.

"Push out" she told me and push the toy against my ass. Suddenly the ass parted and the toy slid in. Pain shot thru me but Jessica just pushed the toy in.

"Shh don't wake the kids" Jessica giggled

"It hurts" I moaned.

"I know, when I had to let a man take my ass, he was much thicker then this toy" Jessica told me. "If you where a real man able to please me then I wouldn't have had to give up my ass" she told me moving the toy in and out.

"Ooooo" I moaned in pleasure.

"Yeah my little fag husband loves his has fucked" Jessica told me. The front of my panties where soaked as she milked the cum out of me. "I am going to lock that cage on, and make you wear pretties everyday" Jessica told me. Then stopped and pulled out the toy.

"Thank you" I mumbled Jessica just laughed and walked away. I quickly pulled my pants up.

"Jess" I said walking into the bathroom as she was washing her face. She turned quickly and shoved a bar of soap in my mouth.

"JESSICA!" She scolded

"Sorry , Jessica" I said spitting out the soap. She let me brush my teeth. I reached back and felt my sore ass. It seemed so stretched. I even washed her toy. I went into the bedroom Jessica was dressed in an old tee shirt and a pair of my boxers.

"I laid out a nightie for you Paulie" Jessica said. I hated being called Paulie. But looked at the pink frilly baby doll she had left for me. I looked at the outfit. Thinking Jessica was acting wierd I didn't question it just put it on. It felt amazing I loved the light material as it rubbed against me. It came with they where almost see thru. Jessica leaned over as I got under the covers. She reached down pulled my panties back and put a lock on the cage.

"Jessica what if the kids?" I asked but she just patted my cage kissed me and roller over. I sat up for a bit just staring at the ceiling. Was this to far? It had hurt but I felt pleasure. And what Jess, I mean Jessica about having a guy take her ass. I dick strained in the cage. I tried to relax and not think about it. Sleep finally came.

I woke the sun shining thru the window I jumped up it was late. I grabbed my robe and rushed put to wake the kids. To find them eating breakfast. Jessica walked over kissed me and fixed the collar on my robe to cover the flash of pink that was showing.

"Go get ready sleepy head" she told me and smacked my sore ass. I went to shower. When I got out everyone was gone. In the top drawer of my dresser I found it full of bras and panties. With a note.

"Pretties everyday" the note said with a lipstick kiss I picked out a pale blue set I had some issues putting on the bra but got it. I worked from home on Mondays. I decided to be cute and sent Jessica a pic.

"Thanks they all look so lovely" I told her.

"Try a dress as well, and maybe some heels you love so much" I put on a flower print dress I had gotten months ago. And sent her another Pic.

I got a pic of her panties in response

"Will be late tonight" she texted.

I got changed long before the kids came home. I made dinner and cleaned up. The kids had there homework done when Jessica came home. She looked in on them then led me to the bedroom

"Clean me" she told me. Dropping her dress.

"Jessica!" I said shocked

"You said hard limit was no real man" Jessica told me. She pushed me to my knees I hooked my fingers on her panties and pulled them off. They where soaked in cum. I swallowed hard and licked her pussy. The salty taste filled my mouth I wanted to pull away but Jessica held my head. Forcing me to continue. I made her cum as I cleaned her of her lovers cum.

"That was lovely" Jessica told me. Getting up she put on some sweats. Leaving me to clean up. I hand washed her panties and put her dress in the pile to be dry cleaned. I washed my face and brushed my teeth and went to spend time with the family. Jessica pulled the back of my pants back to make sure I still wore my panties.

"Tomorrow you have to wear panties under your work clothes to the office" Jessica laughed. Jessica continued to have me dress everyday. Especially for bed. On Friday she bought me home a present when I opened it inside was a strapon dildo. She grabbed it and put it on. She pushed me on the bed and pulled my panties down lubing me ass she wasted no time forcing her cock in.

"Now I can fuck you just like real men fuck me" she told me. As she worked the toy in and out. She became tired after some time and removed her cock.

"I am going to fuck you everyday" she told me kissing me.

"You loved it didn't you PAULA" she asked me. I just nodded had she called me Paula? Jessica kept her promise finding time to fuck me with her new found cock everyday. I obeyed her every wish. Day dreaming of what she would make me do next. I found myself wondering what she would think of next. She had me ride her cock one night.

"Go ahead suck it. Show me how you would please a man" she told me one night. "Swirl your tounge around it. Slobber on it" she told me.

"You're a sissy now, you should make sure your body hair is gone and let your hair grow out" she told me one night it had been almost two weeks since she locked me up. Three times I had cleaned her used pussy. She started feeding me the cum that leaked from my cage.

"Are you sure about your hard limit Sweety?" Jessica asked me one night as she fed me my own cum. "No real men?" I just nodded

Jessica kept pushing me. She wasn't happy until I could deep throat her dildo, apply makeup properly, had me dressing up sometimes I spent the whole weekend in a dress. She painted my toes and clear coated my finger nails. Styled my hair. All while feeding me not only her lovers cum but my own. It had been nearly two months since she even considered unlocking me.

"Paulie come on I am taking you out" Jessics smiled. She had laid out my outfit. There was a new pink lace bra and thong on top. Followed by a pair of ladies slacks and a button down shirt. I realized the shirt had a lace collar. I got dressed anyway. Jessica had me wear my black pumps. And do some soft makeup.

"Ms Jessica" I said scared thinking of leaving the house.

"No, you said your hard limit was a REAL MAN" she reminded me "would you like to change that?" She smiled. I just shook my head.

Jessica drove I tried to hide my face as we left the neighborhood. Hoping no one saw. Jessica drove to her favorite restaurant. We had reservations no one even looked at me differently.

"You look fine stop fretting" Jessica told me as we approached a table there was already a woman there.

"Tiffany this is Paula" she introduced me. We sat and ate I was very quiet hardly uttering a word. Jessica actually ordered for me.

Tiffany put her hand on my knee. My eyes popped open.

"Paula don't worry, Tiffany is a girl like you" she giggled. I jumped up and headed for the bathroom. As soon as I went to open the door Tiffany grabbed my arm.

"Wrong one silly" leading me into the ladies room. She glanced around then pushed me against the wall. She kissed me. Pressing hard against me. She guided my hand down under her skirt. I felt her cock no longer contained in her soft panties. I stroked her. She felt so big. The door opened and I heard Jessica's voice.

"Think you girls need to find a room" she said. Tiffany let me go but I still held her cock.

"You want her big girl cock, Baby" Jessica giggled. I snapped out of whatever spell I was under and let go. Jessica gave Tiffany our home address and we would meet there. I was In a daze till I reached the car.

"You okay sweety?" Jessica asked I just nodded. She drove us home. Tiffany was already there waiting. As soon as the door was unlocked Tiffany dragged me inside tearing the buttons of my blouse. We where downtown out panties in seconds I felt her breasts. Did I want breasts. I wanted her cock. I did! I dropped and sucked her cock. I have no idea where Jessica had gone and I didn't care. I sucked Tiffany's cock taking her all down my throat. She moved at one point sitting down. I crawled following her. Suddenly I felt Jessica reach under me and unlock my cage. My cock sprang free throbbing. Jessica ran her hand over my ass just as Tiffany unloaded down my throat. I had never had anyone cum on my mouth before I tried to swallow sucking up all her cum. She pulled out of my mouth. She kissed me. She stroked me.

"Please I don't want to cum, don't make me cum I moaned into her shoulder. She stopped.

"You are one little submissive thing aren't you. She bent me over and squirted lube up my butt. Her cock slid in as I let out a moan. She fucked me. Hard. How was she still hard? Had she recovered that quickly? I let my mind go blank as she fucked me. Jessica was gone again. As Tiffany pounded my ass. Finally cumming again this time deep inside me. I crawled into a ball. Tiffany lifted me up and took me to the bedroom. She spooned me reaching around she teased my little cock.

"Don't worry little one I won't let you cum" she cooed in my ear teasing me till I was about to cry then stopping over and over. She finally stopped when I begged her to let me cum. And held me as I fell asleep.

I woke alone, naked and my cage back on. Jessica had left a message.

Spending the night with a real man. Kids will be home around 8. Still think you have a hard limit?

[samfucker]

gulp... darlin hcs... this is kinda long... i use he/they pronouns here. hes a cis dude in my eyes i just type they out of instinct.

hes called julius

mexican-asian! (their dad is mexican, their mom is cambodian. they were born in mexico but moved to washington when their dad got a better job opportunity.)

his dad has a teardrop tattoo and one of those "cut here" tattoos on his neck. he's also blind in one eye

their mom is beautiful but #evil. she always had her nails painted dark red

julius' favourite colour is dark red

he got 4 siblings!! hes the middle.

their older sister was the typical 2000s teen girl. ik yall are envisioning the hairstyle im talking about. she also brags about how she loved leopard print before it got popular.

also shes a kesha lover. now she listens to chappell roan. she IS casual.

as an adult, their younger brother works with animals! their older sister has an online job and their older brother is a mechanic. their younger sister is in college and julius hates her bf. the one sided beef is crazy. theyve never even met in person.

he did boxing as a teen and his little sister used to do dance

ik more of the fandom wants them to have happy childhood BUT NOT ME!!!!!!1

BOOM UR PARENTS SUCK!!

their dad sold their wii for drug money (am i projecting)

their mom is worst than their dad muahahahahah

they had a saint bernard called Pooch growing up and a yappy little chihuahua that his mom loved. that dog also refused to die. like im talking this dog got attacked by a bigger dog and had a tumor and got hit by a car and survived. by the time the dog died it had a leg missing and was blind. the vet bills were crazy

even tho their parents were shitty, they could never bring themselves to hate them even though they wanted to. when either of them would pass out on the couch, he'd cover them with a blanket and clean the living room and kitchen. when his mom would be upset, he'd sit and listen to her even tho she never did the same to him

he doesnt talk to his parents now and he makes jokes about what he went thru to cope, but he wonders if they're doing okay, if they got healed and became better people or if they passed away and they never knew.

the bond they had with their unempowered friend was the same bond asher, david and milo have. his friend was called trevor.

julius was trevors first kiss because trevor complained about feeling like a loser since everyone started dating around their teen years LMFAO

their first concert was a metallica one that they went to with quinn

they worked as a waiter for a while as a teenager and had a work bestie that was like 40

guyliner...........

I STOLE THIS HC FROM A FIC IVE READ IF YOU FIND IT PLZ LMK SO I CAN CREDIT!! but they worked in a fighting ring at one point

my own add on to the same hc: during this time, they had a shitty little apartment and the most decorated space was a dresser dedicated to their fish, soda pop. that fish was spoiled as fuck and he cried when soda pop died

he frequented a diner to the point the lady behind the counter knew his order beat for beat

when they were teenagers, asher took inspo from their style. they used to wear those little black wrist bands with the little spikes (do yall know what im talking about) and thats where ashers love for his spiked collar came from

they do not have a single pair of blank socks. they all have some sort of stupid design on them

also ofc, the rubber duck, courtesy of domini.

they hate haircuts

they HATE the grocery store. they get overstimulated and wanna die immediately.

best meal theyve ever made for themselves is mac and cheese. from those little boxes.

aggro bit them one time and theyre still upset over it

TATTED AS FAWK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they have piercings GODDDD THEYRE SO FINE

they also have sharp canines (im bouta bust)

i know yall want asher to have heterochromia but i hc julius has it. HOWEVER! I hc asher has anisocoria (one pupil bigger than the other). they bond over having eye conditions

they also fell out of a tree in the middle of the woods one time and cracked their head open and broke their leg and had to limp home

the first ever scar he got was on his chin when he and his brother were pushing each other around (as brothers do) and julius fell and cut his chin open. its very faded now, but his brother brings it up somtimes

one time, out of boredome, he ran away from his brother at the store

his little sister would hide between clothes in the store and would need to be called for on the intercom

i have more. theyre my fav listener. all my hcs go to them.

[chimivx]

champagne confetti.

pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Female!Reader (ot7 minus two) (vegas addition)

summary: Jungkooks secret listening party is full of surprises.

word count: 7400

warnings: 18+, adults doing adults things and talking about adult things, no explicit sexual content, drinking, mentions of miscarriage/pregnancy talk, IF I MISSED ANYTHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!

a/n: I was supposed to post this in the beginning of January. Apologies for the delay, been goin thru some things. Love you all. xo. This feels like an ending... But, I dunno... It also feels incomplete...

~ october 11th, 2023 ~

It took three rings for her to answer the phone.

Leaning over the bathroom counter, iPhone propped up against the mirror, your lips were pressed together firmly, an unreadable expression as Sunny’s bright smile popped up on the screen and fell within milliseconds, her pink glossy lips frowning. Behind her, palm trees and sunshine, a backdrop she’s become accustomed to, one she belongs in front of.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, squinting. Voices chattered in the background, a prominent one belonging to none other than Khloe Kardashian herself.

Taking a deep breath, you asked, “You’re filming?”

“No, having dinner with the girls,” she spoke fast, her eyes locked on you. “What’s going on? You okay? Dae okay? I can fly back.”

A small smile broke onto your lips. Nerves jittered in your veins, your heart beating a little faster than it should be. “We’re okay, just finished breakfast. She’s running around my room right now, she’s obsessed with Kook’s dirty ass song. We’ve had to listen to it everyday. Everyday, Sun. I hate it.”

“The Jack Harlow one?” she asked, and your grimace answered for you, making her cackle.

“First Seven, now this,” you said, teeth clenched. “What happened to sweet baby Jungkook?”

Sunny’s laugh sounded through your phone once more, triggering the pitter patter of little footsteps to come barreling into the bathroom door. “Honey, you’re funny, you know who changed that man.”

Your smile grew, shaking your head because you knew damn well who changed that man. Glancing to your right down at the floor, a two year old in pastel yellow footed pajamas was watching you, holding onto the doorframe with her little hands. There were messy pigtails in her hair, black as night, the skinny rubber bands slipping out after a good night's sleep. Eyes wide, the ghost of a smile on her face, she knew who you were talking to. 

“Hi,” you said to her, and she giggled, her cheeks squishing her eyes like her fathers would.

“Dae?!” Sunny called, lurching forward in her seat. She excused herself from the table and hurried into whoever’s house she was at, walking into a hallway grander than your own. Your daughter’s lips parted, curiosity written all over the face she stole from your husband. 

“Who is it?” you asked, keeping your eyes on the toddler as she walked toward you, wrapping her arms around one of your legs.

“Where’s my girl?” Sunny’s tone was eager, all she could see was the top of your head. Crouching down to pick Dae up, you propped her on your hip and grinned as Sunny gasped. “Hello, beautiful!”

Dae smiled, looking down at the phone, then looked at you, putting a finger between her little teeth.

“Say hi to Sunny,” you nodded, brushing leftover crumbs from breakfast off of her pajamas. “Tell her you haven’t brushed your hair yet today.” Another dramatic gasp came out of the phone, catching Dae’s attention.

“Baby, you tell your mother I blame her for that.” Sunny clicked her tongue. “You can’t even reach your hairbrush, it is not your fault.” She squinted at the screen. “She had those rubber bands yesterday, Honey, get them out!”

Dae was laughing, Sunny’s silly tone making her giggle in your arms, subsequently making you giggle along with her. “Dae,” you said softly after a breath, your daughter pointing her gaze at you. “Tell Sunny we’ve been really busy.” Your Californiacated best friend froze, her sculpted eyebrows furrowing a bit.

“Busy,” Dae said, copying you, her listening ears on full alert. Her little voice soft, smooth, the words broken as she tried to pronounce everything correctly.

“I’ve been gone for two weeks,” Sunny deadpanned. “How busy can you be?”

A laugh escaped you, Dae smiling back at you.

“Hey,” Sunny whined, “I’m over here, girl party, I want in on the secret,” she glanced around the room she was in, “I’m alone, promise.”

Your girl threw her arms around your shoulders, burying her head into your chest. Taking a look at Sunny, you laughed again at how smushed she looked on the screen, like she was trying to push her way through. Tapping your daughters back a few times where you held her, she perked up, still wearing a smile.

“Do you want to show Sunny?” you sighed, the nerves spiraling out of control.

“Show Sunny,” Dae said, drumming her hands on your shoulder.

“Show me what?!” Sunny cried from the phone.

A sudden deep breath shot through you. Dae, studying your form, placed a hand on your cheek, getting you to look over at her. You’ve seen the sparkle in her eyes elsewhere, in someone you’ve been without for a few weeks now. Someone you both had to say goodbye to, a day you wished to never have to relive.

She was half his, Dae was. Half Yoongi. A part of him you could still hold onto during these long months he’d be gone. It was never certain when you’d get to see him again throughout his service, but you held onto to hope that it was sometime soon. Especially now.

“I love you,” you whispered to your baby.

Dae, without missing a beat, whispered, “I love you.”

~ november 4th 2023 ~

Music played throughout the room soft enough to still be able to hear the person next to you speaking, yet loud enough to keep conversations private. Dressed in all black, flowing pants and a long sleeved bodysuit, you walked throughout the room with your chin held high, eyes searching the place for a familiar face. You’d come with Sunny, but she was stolen away from you the second you stepped in the door.

The night was alive, this venue buzzing with excitement and happy vibes as people who were both close friends or acquaintances of Jungkook came together to celebrate his brand new album, Golden. After listening to him, and watching him work on this project for ages, it meant so much to be able to be a part of this night. He was the last one to put out any solo music, meaning this was a celebration for the end of an era, and you were not ready for the start of the next one.

The one where you’d have to do life without any one of the seven boys around.

Greeting a few familiar faces, and a few new ones who just started to pay attention to you this year because of what went down in February, you moved throughout the room with a sprinkle of attention on you. During Yoongi’s tour that you were very much involved with, your daughter included, your entrance into the media world exploded. After February and the announcement, of course word of his family spread like wildfire, but the tour brought it all to life.

Now that he was gone the people who spoke to you tonight gave you the sympathetic half smile and nod, asking you how you and Dae were holding up without him. To each and everyone of them, you’d grin and shrug, letting them know this was no different than him being on tour, or him going away for work. Time spent a part was the story of your life. Especially after the last three years with your daughter.

Though, you weren’t going to lie, this go around the time a part was rough. You aren’t able to call him whenever you please, nor was he able to jump on a plane, or get in a car and come home to you whenever he felt like he needed just twenty minutes of your time. He truly was absent, and it sucked. Your two year old didn’t understand it, though she was used to her father being away. That much she got, but when it came down to not being able to see him through a phone screen as often as she pleased, she became a pouty mess.

Within the last month Dae has definitely become more clingy than you’d have wanted, but you knew that was just because she was having some big feelings that she didn’t understand yet. Both you and Yoongi prayed that this wouldn’t have a large impact on her and her development as she got older, her father being gone for such a chunk of time in her early years of life. You made it a point to talk about him every single day, play his videos, play voicemails he left you in preparation for this, listen to his music, and show her pictures of them together.

It wasn’t a worry she’d forget about him, it was a worry that she’d forget how he loved her.

The two of you had just watched a video of him talking to her before you left the house to come to the party, the clip leaving you in tears. He was in his office sitting in the leather chair at his desk, his hair messy over his forehead and his eyes tired. The weeks before he left were brutal for you both. He spoke to her with intention, repeating on and on how much he loved her, and how much he missed her, that he was proud of her and that she would see him very soon.

He tried his hardest to not shed a tear, but it happened anyway, and in true Yoongi fashion he laughed it off. After speaking to Dae he turned his words to you, knowing you’d be watching with her. He didn’t do this every time, he left other things just for you, so it was a complete surprise. As expected, your husband declaring his love for you, in front of your daughter, left you in tears.

But, the story of your life, right?

Smoothing your hands over your middle, smiling at a group of girls walking past you who had bowed their heads, you approached the bar, finding exactly who you were looking for. The boy dressed in all white towered over you, the view of his back from behind unbelievable. He stood next to Namjoon who was just as tall as him, but not nearly as wide. The maknae passed him a while ago.

Pushing between both of them, just below their shoulders, a smile pulled at your lips as they stepped away from you, then gasped once they realized it was you.

“Honey!” Namjoon cheered, slinging an arm around your back to give you a hug. Throwing both of your arms around his broad shoulders, you pulled him close and squeezed him, standing on your tiptoes.

“Hi,” you said quietly, pecking a quick kiss to his cheek. “Missed you guys,” you sighed, turning to Jungkook who waited patiently for his hug. “You’re all too busy now.” You barely had your arms around him before Jungkook was lifting you off the floor, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Kook!” you giggled. “Put me down, I’m fragile!”

“Fragile,” he laughed, following directions, making sure you were balanced in your black boots before he let go of you. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he smiled at you, one that was all too big.

“Me too,” you returned the smile and snatched his hand, giving it a squeeze. 

“How’s the baby?” Namjoon asked, leaning against the bar with an elbow. Whirling around, you shot him a wide eyed look. “Dae?” His smile relieved almost every nerve that sparked in your heart.

“Dae,” you breathed. “She’s amazing.” The boys smiled, always happy to hear you speak of your daughter. “She’s… doing her best right now. We both are. She misses him.”

Namjoon pursed his lips and gave you the sympathetic nod so many other people have already given you. “Understandable,” he said. “It’s tough.”

“It is,” you shrugged. “But, we knew it was coming, so I’m… somewhat alright. It’s just hard to try to explain it to a two year old.”

A bartender sped by the back of the bar to refill glasses with Golden etched on them, placing down new ones for those who had just shown up, you included. Champagne bubbled in the glass that you were definitely heading home with. Jungkook grabbed two, holding one out for you to take.

“We’re not sad today,” he grinned. Glancing at the glass, you gulped and looked up at him.

“I’m not gonna drink, Kook,” you said quietly. Namjoon, already downing half his glass, perked a brow.

Jungkook nodded and turned toward the bar to place the glass down, but then froze, facing you without doing so. “Wait, hang on,” he said. “Where’s she at?” His eyes narrowed.

“Sunny?” you questioned. “Somewhere around here, I think-”

“No,” he cut you off, grilling you with his gaze. “Dae.”

A nervous laugh escaped you. “Kook, she’s not here.”

“Liar, where is she?” He did a once over of the room, his hardened gaze falling upon you again.

Rolling your eyes, you sighed, placing a hand on your hip. “She’s at home, probably begging Branson to play that god awful song you made about ejaculating on someone's face.” Behind you Namjoon lost his mind, nearly spitting out his drink. You shot him a look over your shoulder. “You’re not off the hook Mr. Smoke Sprite.”

Jungkook would have laughed if his jaw hadn’t fallen open in shock, a big ol’ smile behind it all. “She doesn’t like that song.” His whisper was laced with disappointment, eyebrows twisting into a knot in the center of his forehead.

Thinning out your lips, you nodded. “Loves it, Jungkook. She loves it.”

“Oh no,” he groaned, rolling his head back, taking a gulp of champagne. “Don’t let her listen to it, not my girl.”

“Now, whenever you feel like making a song like that ever again, you think about her,” you started to smile, knowing your words would make an impact. “You want someone to treat her like that when she’s all grown up?”

He scrunched his nose and pouted at you. “No,” he mumbled.

“Exactly,” you nodded once and took the champagne glass from him, taking a sip before stopping dead in your tracks. Processing your situation, Namjoon and Jungkook sandwiching you at the crowded bar, there really was no way for you to be sneaky about this. With the glass in your hand, you sideyed them both, a mouthful of champagne marinating on your tongue. Closing your eyes, you took a breath and accepted your fate, a stream of champagne falling from your lips back into the glass in your hands.

“I knew it,” Namjoon muttered. You could hear the smugness written all over his face. You gave him the quickest look without giving anything away, and turned to Jungkook whose face was screwed up, completely confused.

“Just drink it, Hon,” he laughed. “Dae’s home, you’re here to be you, you don’t have to worry about…” Voice trailing off, he paused and eyed you curiously. Then it all seemed to click at once. “Are you lying?” Testing the waters, he held in his jitters, but you could see it all building up beneath the surface. “You’re ly- Shit, no you wouldn’t do that… You’re… Honey, you swear?” 

Taking a long deep breath, you placed your glass on the bar and shrugged your shoulders. He exhaled heavily, a single laugh coming out with it. He held his arms out at his sides, putting his own glass down, trying to gauge how you were feeling by your body language. Namjoons eyes flickered between the two of you, allowing you your moment before he stepped in.

“It’s, like… brand new. Really brand new,” you said, raising your eyebrows. “Sunny knows, but that’s it. I’m not trying to… get anyones hopes up.” Speaking carefully, like you were warning them, Namjoon was the only one to nod in respect for what you had said. Jungkook understood of course, but his heart always got the best of him first. “I found out three weeks ago, I’m barely two months in.”

“Holy shit,” Jungkook whispered, pulling you into his arms. He shared a look with Namjoon, one you thankfully couldn’t see, a slightly worried one. Laying your head on his chest, the chains he wore cold against your cheek, you closed your eyes and let his hands on your back soothe some of the anxiety you’d been feeling since you saw the two little lines in your bathroom back in October. “I’m so happy for you, Honey.”

“Thanks, Kookie,” you said, painting a smile on your lips. “I haven’t been able to say the words yet,” you admitted, pulling back from him. Hugging Namjoon who congratulated you quietly, you couldn’t help but laugh. “Thirty years old and I can’t say the words.”

“That’s okay,” Namjoon said, embodying the word empathy.

Letting his calm, peaceful aura bleed into yours, you bobbed your head. “It is okay,” you repeated, not allowing you to gaslight yourself. Averting your gaze to the bar you shrugged your shoulders once more. “I just hope I have the courage to say them to him.” The boys were quiet, focused on you, listening intently. “It’s a shitty time for this to happen, I think, but not in the sense that… Well, you know what I mean?”

“Course,” Jungkook said, brows pointed.

“It’s just with Dae already having a hard time, Yoongi having a hard time, me, myself having a hard time,” you paused to collect your thoughts, squinting down at the wood. “What we just went through not even a year ago? I am just freaked the absolute fuck out that I’m going to go through it alone this time.”

“You can’t do that to yourself,” Namjoon spoke with ease. “Don’t add any more stress onto this. Timing may not be ideal, but it never was for you guys. If anything… this is right on point.”

“Shit, Joon.” The words tumbled from your lips in an exasperated burst. Throwing your arms back around him, you held him tight. All it took were two simple sentences to almost flip your mentality completely. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“I was totally thinking the same thing, by the way,” Jungkook said, making you smile. Turning toward him, he had his arms open waiting for you to jump back into them. Falling right into the trap, you pulled him close and kissed him on the cheek.

“I love you guys,” you said, grabbing both of them by the arm, giving them a small shake. “Keep it a secret, yeah? No telling boyfriends.” You narrowed your eyes and pointed at them playfully. 

Namjoon lowered his head with a chuckle and raised his glass in promise. Jungkook rolled his eyes and took a large gulp from his glass. “What boyfriend?” 

“Oh, come on,” you sang, tilting your head to the side. Jungkook settled his gaze on the party, eyes scanning the room with, you now notice, anticipation. “Kookie, don't do that to yourself.”

After another swig of his drink he twisted around to face the bar and smirked. “Promise I’m not a masochist… Even though he’s already got a song.”

“Hon-naaay!” Jimin’s high pitched, full of energy, singsongy voice flooded the air. Jungkook shot you a look over his shoulder as you pouted your lips at the same time.

Shooting your best smile at a now blonde Jimin you opened your arms, ready for him to fall into them dramatically as he would, but he stopped short. His own smile faded on his lips, to something soft while he looked you over, and it was like you could see the gears turning in his head. He held a glass of champagne in a Golden glass in one hand and the other found sanctuary on his hip.

“Hi, pretty,” you said in a voice you would use while talking to Dae. Jimin didn’t crack, he was honed in on you. Dropping your arms, letting them fold over your chest, you tilted your head to the side in question, though you weren’t sure you wanted, or were ready, for him to respond. 

In touch with his femininity a thousand times more than the others, the way his eyes scanned over you flipped your stomach. Jimin, like a woman, moved through his day to day like he was in touch with the moon, being guided through life by the space being without even knowing so. He made it through his days subconsciously following the twenty-eight day cycle a woman's subconsciousness was wired to.

He figured you out with one look.

Taking you in his arms tight, his head laying on top of yours, he sucked in a breath and released it with his words. “Hi, pretty.” Leaning back a bit, your lips parted to say something, but Jimin took a finger to your jaw to shut it. Then, he tapped your closed lips once and shook his head gently. He didn’t need the words.

“Taehyung not attached to you?” Namjoon asked, sipping his glass with composure, his curious eyes flickering over to Jungkook a couple times.

Jimin pulled away from you and shrugged. “He was, he probably found something better.” 

You weren’t positive, but you’re certain Jungkook mumbled, “Impossible,” under his breath.

“Sunny came with me,” you spoke up quickly to muffle anything else that would come out of the boy's mouth whether or not he had intentions of anyone hearing him. “He might be with her.”

Jimin’s eyes narrowed. “Mmm,” he hummed, shaking his head. “Don’t think so, she was hanging around Mingyu last time I passed her.” The name spewed confidently from his mouth, a subtle look of shock something you all shared, even Jungkook.

“Tell her she won’t have any luck,” Jungkook grumbled, having not turned away from the bar once. He hasn’t looked at Jimin since he arrived over here.

Swatting your hand at his shoulder with disappointment, Jimin gave him a somber look, the empath in him you knew was hurting too. Namjoon watched the scene ensue peacefully, waiting patiently for his moment to step in, if needed. They haven’t been a proper group for months, but that didn’t mean those dynamics were erased.

“Sunny is dating somebody, Kookie,” you said. “You know that. She wouldn’t ever hurt him.”

“Jin,” Jungkook said, finally turning around. “We can say his name. Jin. They may hate talking about it, but we can. Besides, he’s been away for so long now, bet she misses him. Not surprised she’d go for the biggest guy in the room.”

“Jungkook,” Namjoon chimed in, his glare one you never wanted to be on the receiving end of. The rest of the youngests second glass, that you’ve been around for, went down easy.

“I’m just saying,” he laughed to himself.

Both you and Jimin watched him in shock. Words like that, implying what he was implying, have never come out of Jungkook, nor has he ever thought them up before. The implication that Sunny would be untrue to Jin, that one’s partner being away for an extended period of time meant that everyone acquired, or wanted to act upon these thoughts.

“What does that say about me?” you asked, looking up at him, remembering the days of when he was a mere few inches taller than you.

“What are you talking about?” he shrugged sloppily. You could feel Jimin’s gaze watching you.

“I’ve spent more time away from Yoongi our entire relationship than Sunny has from Jin in the last year or so,” you said. “And I’m about to do it for another two-ish years.” Jungkook was silent. “In fact, until Jin comes back next summer, I’ll be without all of you. So, pick someone for me, Jungkook.” The boy didn’t move. “If we’re comparing sizes, who’ve you got?” A quick glance at Jimin. “Taemin?” A quick glance at Jungkook. “Jay?”

“From Enhypen?” Namjoon chimed in again. Cringing, you looked at him for a second.

“He’s a baby, nevermind,” you muttered.

“He’s also like, six feet tall,” Namjoon chuckled.

“Oh, I know,” you tapped Jungkook’s white jacket, “Your Seventeen boy can hook me up, it’s Jeonghan right? Always has longer hair? Think he’ll be into me?” Jimin held in a laugh, turning to keep it hidden. Jungkook sighed. “I’m married, I got one kid and another on the way, let’s see how well he plays daddy, huh?” 

“Okay, I get it,” Jungkook breathed.

“Jeonghan’s got that broodiness about him, right Joon?” Glancing over your shoulder, the eldest in the vicinity nodded without entertaining you with a smile. “He’ll fulfill the stereotype, it’s perfect! Dae might not even notice it’s-“

“Okay!” Jungkook turned up the volume, a couple party goers looking his way as they passed by. “I’m sorry! Jesus Christ, Honey.”

Pressing your lips together you smoothed a hand over his shoulder and gave it a squeeze, leaning in toward him. “I get you’re hurting,” you said just for him to hear. “But you keep bleeding onto everybody else, and that’s not fair. I love you, but saying stuff like that will only hurt others. Imagine if Jin heard that. He’s been in love almost as long as you, Kookie.”

The way he looked at you put a knife through your heart. “How do I fix it?”

“A lot has changed in the last year and a half. Really fast, too.” Wrapping your arm around his, you held him close. “We’re all adjusting in our own way, it’s a really weird place to be in. I mean… I have to go home with Jeonghan now.” He cracked a laugh, thankfully.

“You guys would pair up nicely.”

“Kookie, hush,” you laughed, shaking his arm. “You’re both about to go through a bigger change, together. Even if you can’t be… together, at least you can be together.” You squinted, hoping any of that made sense to the twenty-six year old.

He started to nod, easing some of the tension settling within your chest. “I get it.” He looked at Jimin briefly, who had taken a spot beside Namjoon, the two whispering about who knows what, and you wonder if it’s related to what you’re talking about now. “I’ll be with him most of the time too, until we get to Hobi, so…”

Your eyes widened as his did. “Hobi,” you both groaned together, falling into giggles shortly after.

“You’re really gonna need each other if you have to deal with him,” you said. “He’s a drill sergeant in rehearsals, good luck with him in the military!” Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, throwing his head with a laugh. “I only wish you guys would get to see more of Yoongi,” you said after a breath.

Jungkook met your eyes, then his gaze traveled to the party behind you, a small smile pricking on his lips. “We’ll still get to see him, Honey.”

Toying with a zipper on his jacket you shrugged and took a deep breath. “I know, but I mean… I wish he got to be with you guys the whole time. He was worried about…” Looking up at him you paused, pressed your lips together with a smile, then shook your head. “Nevermind.”

Jungkook didn’t push on the matter, instead he bobbed his head in understanding and then ushered you to turn around in his arms. “Surprise.”

If your heart had the possibility to burst into flames, it would’ve. Swelling within your chest, your heart rate skyrocketing beyond belief, you didn’t even have the means to gasp in utter shock. Frozen where you stood, Jungkook's hands slipping off your shoulders, the three falling into quiet giggles, you couldn’t process any of it.

Dressed in all black, down to the thick knitted beanie on top of his head and the sneakers on his feet, Yoongi, with Taehyung's arm linked in his, had the tiniest smile on his lips as he came toward you.

“I come bearing gifts!” Taehyung cheered, giving Yoongi a small push closer to you.

Words escaped you, your mind unable to string any letters together to say something to him. Instead, you tipped your head backward and burst into tears.

A laugh slipped past his lips. He knew that was coming. Following your lead, he waited for you, and when you opened your arms he fell right in, scooping you off the floor, burying his face in your neck. 

“Hey! Careful, she’s frag-…” Jungkook’s voice tapered off quickly, his focus landing elsewhere, his lips pursed nonchalantly.

His words barely registered with either of you. There was very little anyone could say or do in this moment that would take away from the man you held in your arms.

Back on your feet you wasted little time, wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close into a kiss, one long and entirely overdue.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you whispered, pressing your forehead to his.

Yoongi’s gaze ate away at your face, his eyes studying you completely. “I wanted a drink,” he shrugged, and you smacked his chest with your hands, a smile corrupting you. He smirked. “Came to see my girl,” he cooed, pressing a kiss to your lips. “Don’t tell Jungkook.”

“He knows,” the youngest said from behind you. Yoongi laughed, and your heart was squeezed between your lungs, the beautiful sound warming your skin.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him, you couldn’t believe that he was standing here in front of you, holding you, kissing you, smiling at you. It’d been a month and twelve days since you last saw him, since he held your daughter, and that thought fueled the tears that fell.

A month and twelve days has happened before, unfortunately a couple more days longer than this, but it made that reunion all the more sweeter. Of course that was before Dae, before marriage, so it didn’t cut as deep, but it was still hard. Holding onto him now, knowing your daughter was snug at home in the house you built together, unsure if whether or not he was able to come see her, you felt the need to squeeze him tighter, like your grip around him would keep him stuck here forever, and they’d never be able to take him again. 

Wiping the tears off of your cheeks with his thumbs, he kissed the tip of your nose and tried to twist you in his arms so you could both face your friends, but you wouldn’t budge. Laying your head on his chest as he tried to move, you heard him huff a laugh toward you trying to occupy the same space as him.

Your subconscious was screaming at you. The inner workings of your natural biology, your primal instincts if you will, were firing off like crazy, keeping you latched onto him. You needed him. And not in the way one would assume.

You needed his attention. You needed his care. You needed his protection, his energy, his love, his support.

Most reunions looked something like this, you and Yoongi unable to take your hands off one another, but this one was different. You were clingy, nearly shutting off your brain entirely because he was in the room and you didn’t need to do any of the thinking. The party became a distant noise to you, something you weren’t even worried about anymore, same for your friends behind you.

You felt Yoongi looking down at you, and when you tipped your chin up to meet his knowing gaze, the way you bat your eyelashes had him whisking you away to someplace quiet, a different room vacant of all people. He found a couch in the dimly lit room, a sitting area formed in front of a smaller, empty bar. Sitting you beside him, he smiled as you tried to crawl into his lap.

“Hi,” he whispered in the quiet, brushing his fingers over your cheek. Your arms found their way around his neck again.

Your gaze danced about his face, taking in every inch, every little imperfection, memorizing more so than you already have. “Hi,” you whispered back. The two of you watched one another for a minute, the music from the main party room thumping against the walls, laughter and happy chatter ringing just below it. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” he said without missing a beat. “Dae’s not here, right?”

Gulping, you nodded. “She’s at home,” you mumbled. “Can you come see her?”

Yoongi flattened his lips. “I dunno.”

Your grip around him tightened. “S’okay,” you tried to smile. “She asks for you everyday.” Tears welled in his eyes, ones he blinked away. “When we’re not listening to 3D she asks for your songs.”

“3D,” Yoongi groaned, rolling his head back against your arms. “Still?”

“Still,” you deadpanned, and once he caught a look at you, you both broke into a laugh. “I gave him a talk, don’t worry.”

Yoongi sighed, shaking his head. “Nothing gets through his head now, Park scrambled it all up.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. “They’ll be okay, though. I hope.”

Yoongi’s nod was solemn before he drug a finger beneath your jaw. “How ‘bout you? You okay?” The bad electricity sparkled in your veins, enough of a twinge to make you shift on his lap.

“I’m okay,” you said without an ounce of confidence. His smile was slick, his fingers dragging down the side of your neck now.

“Why you gonna lie?”

“I’m not,” your half shrug didn’t convince him.

Narrowing his eyes, his gaze somehow softened at the same time. “Honey,” he crooned, his voice like velvet. “Talk to me.”

“I’m…” You were hesitant, cutting yourself short right when the words were about to tumble out of you full force. He waited patiently. Swallowing the lump that lodged in your throat, hoping to ease the nausea that started to fester within you, you nodded, small, and whispered, “I’m pregnant.”

His expression didn’t change, didn’t falter, didn’t exhibit any signs of any other emotion other than patience. He only managed to whisper, “Yes you are.”

Your brows plummeted. “Who opened their mouth?”

Yoongi massaged the back of your neck with his fingers, sighing. “No one, Honey, it’s just…” he glanced between you, gesturing to how close you were to him. “You only get like this when you’re carrying one of my kids.”

Blinking, you purse your lips. “Do not.”

He laughed, bobbing his head. “Do to, it’s happened twice before.”

The words turned your skin to ice, Yoongi taking note of the utter fear that washed over you. Sliding his hand over the back of your head, he laid you on his shoulder, pressing his cheek to your forehead, taking a long deep breath. For a few minutes you both relished in the quiet, admiring the party from afar, the touch of one another enough to clearly communicate what you were both feeling.

Nobody knew what had happened in detail aside from Sunny and the boys. Branson knew bits and pieces, he was around for that week, helping to take care of Dae and the house if nobody else was able to. Not one of them talked about it. Even if you were to bring it up somehow, they didn’t linger on the topic long. It was for you and Yoongi to discuss, to share, to have. He was your son, you were the only two to ever know him.

“You don’t wanna know what I’ve thought about already,” you said. Yoongi gave your head a gentle scratch.

“Probably the same things I’m thinking right now,” he whispered. Looking up at him, his face still radiated patience, a calmness that radiated to you, though you could see the worries spinning inside his head. Curious about it all, you know you might not need to hear it. The one thought that gutted you both… He wouldn’t be here this time. “Mother fucker,” he mumbled, shifting his focus to you.

“Let me hear it,” you said.

“No, it’s just…” He collected his thoughts for a second, a laugh escaping him. “How is it this possible that we’ve got such… exquisite timing?!” He started to make you laugh. “You’d think by thirty we’d have it figured out, right? What’s wrong with us, babe!” Giggles galore. “At twenty-seven, the proposal planned, did it happen? Nope! Global pandemic and major surgery. Twenty-eight, my third album almost done, your projects lined up waiting for you, did they happen? Nope! We had a baby instead. Twenty-nine… You somehow say yes to marrying me. I think, finally, we’ll plan the wedding of your dreams. Did it happen?”

“Yes,” you chimed in, watching him in awe. He shot you a small smile with a wink.

“Thanks for that,” he breathed. “But, then the hiatus came, and the lawyers for the restraining order, and Dae turned one, and you were pregnant again, and I knew the announcement was coming after the Busan show, and…”

“And then we got married,” you said, sitting up to hold his face between your hands, delicately dancing your thumbs over his cheeks. “Saturday, November fifth. The most perfect day that happened a year ago, tomorrow.” He smiled, his cheeks squishing in your grip. “The trees were yellow, and orange, and bright and beautiful. The breeze held off until we finally kissed, making sure our guests were warmed by the sun before Autumn made an appearance.”

“Dae pulled the bow out of her hair during our vows,” he said, and you both laughed. 

“She is her mothers daughter,” you raised your eyebrows with pride. “I warned Sunny, I really did.” His smile settled, eyes gleaming with a sappiness that tugged at your tears. “It was the most wonderful day, D. Everyone was there, even your little boy.” A sudden breath shot through you. “Then, yanno, Jin left, and we had a month or so to pull ourselves together before I was thrown to the wolves.”

“It wasn’t enough time,” he muttered, and you nodded.

“I agree,” you whispered. “But, we made it. And after Hobi left we went on tour, and fuck, D, talk about the most amazing three months.”

“That really was the best,” he grinned. “Having you both there with me, jeez.” A happy roll of his eyes made you smile back at him. 

“Dae had more fun than either of us,” you scoffed.

“She sure did,” Yoongi said. “Remember the show Hope and Jin came to?”

“Of course I do,” you said. “That was the last one.”

“Yeah,” he breathed, a longing look spreading to his eyes. Questioning him with a small sound, he smirked. “It’s just… that show, that night… I thought, this is it. Thirty years of my life and I’ve got everything I’ve always dreamed of, everything I’ve always wanted, everything I could possibly need. You, Dae, the boys, Army… You.”

The tears were falling now, you could feel them.

“After everything we’ve been through, all that life has thrown at us- no, catapulted at us,” you both shared a laugh, “Onstage, I couldn’t help but realize, and recognize… Holy shit, we made it.” He wiped your tears, kissing your cheek. “And, I don’t give a fuck, Honey, we’ll make it again. And again. And again, goddammit. Unbelievably bad, shitty, fucked up timing is who we are. Since the start. July sixteenth, twenty fifteen.”

“A New York curb,” you whispered.

Yoongi beamed. “A dangerous New York curb,” he snickered. “Making people fall in love and shit?” A laugh came out of you within a breath, only Yoongi able to make you laugh and cry at the same time.

“Namjoon said something earlier,” you sniffled, taking his hands within your own. “Like what you just said, how the timing isn’t ideal, but that’s who we are. That this is right on point.” 

Yoongi let your words sink in, let his leader's words sink in, comforting him the same way they did you. “He’s right. He’s always right.”

“Unfortunately,” you joked and he cackled. “The only thing that’s keeping me from going totally insane is knowing that by June Jin will be here. Regardless of what schedules he’ll be involved with, if any, he’ll be here. Accessible.”

“That makes me feel better, too,” he sighed, then licked his lips. “How… How far are you? Do you know? When did you find out?” The questions tumbled out of him at lightning speed, each answer you had for him getting lost between each one.

After a giggle, you said, “October eleventh, I found out. Dae was dancing around our room, she left me to do it all alone, the stinker. 3D is more important to her, I guess.” Yoongi scoffed. “I wasn’t feeling so good, thought it was just leftover nerves after you leaving, thought I was late for the same reasons, but when I checked I was really late, so I took the test just to be safe. There were no hopes up or anything, no nerves because I really didn’t think it’d be positive…”

Yoongi listened with intent. “Didn’t think it would be, or didn’t want it to be?” He asked you genuinely, no discomfort wrapped around the question at all.

“I kept thinking… if this is positive, then what the actual hell am I going to do?” He nodded, his hands holding you carefully. “We didn’t say what we’d do, because we didn’t think this would happen. D, we need to start putting together plans ‘cause at this point I’m starting to think you could sneeze on me and I’d get pregnant, and if timing isn’t our thing then we need to be prepared for it all.”

Swiping his thumb over your lips he smirked. “Where’s the fun in that?” Giving you the smallest kiss, he said, “We could plan out every last little detail, babe, and I can ensure you, somehow, someway, the universe would laugh in our faces. Loud.”

He was right. Even on the day of your wedding, the most planned out day of your life, things went askew. The birth of your daughter didn’t go to plan, that entire fiasco turned into a legitimate emergency. You could have every detail splayed out, even the fine writing between the lines, and life would find a way to toss the cue cards in the air, laughing as it did. 

“This is a blessing,” Yoongi said, his voice shifting to something soft. “And, entirely on time for us, as fucked as that may sound.”

“It does make sense, doesn’t it,” you agreed. Sitting here with him, reviewing your lives, this brand new little one seemed to fit right into the insanity. The tiniest spark of hope ignited inside of you, one that you were nervous to share with your husband, but you were certain that he could feel it too. 

You both wanted a second child, you wanted Dae to have a sibling, a sister or a brother. The two of you realized during your first pregnancy and throughout Dae’s first year of life that you wanted multiple, more than two. However, after the last year you were content with just one more. If there were anymore to follow, so be it, but this second one was a must.

Deep within both of you you knew that this child would be your third, and that would be something you held close to your heart for the rest of your lives, letting Dae and your future children know that they once had a brother who loved them too much that he had to find solace within the clouds, so he could watch over and protect his family.

Yoongi nodded, slowly, knowing exactly what was going through your mind. As a tear slipped down his cheek he threw his arms around you and rocked side to side, pressing a hundred kisses to your shoulder. His lips traveled up your neck, making you giggle, until they found your lips, kissing you slowly, drinking this moment up, the both of you wishing you could drown in it. 

“An August baby,” Yoongi whispered, pulling from you with a breath. You smiled.

“An August baby,” you repeated. “The end of summer’s gonna get real busy for us.” Yoongi’s smile grew, it grew so big he had to laugh.

“Oh my god,” he exhaled, his words barely audible. He kissed you, and then he kissed you again. “I love you so much.”

Letting your hand fall down to his left shoulder, you gave him the gentlest squeeze, and smiled. “I love you too, D.”

VEGAS TAGS! <3

( I'm a slow updater. If I missed your tag please let me know, do not be afraid to send me a message to remind me <3 )

@jewelrnicorn @yoongisducky @all-american-fangirl @funkylittlebisexuall @ahewlett @damn-u-min-yoongi @my-dark-happy-place @wobblewobble822 @kaitieskidmore97 @yoooonie @bbyjjunie

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[karmaajr]

HEYO Y'ALL!!!! I got bored and decided my last intro post was WAY too unorganised (even by my standards frfr 😔😔🙏) so i made a new one!!! hopefully this ones a bit better or else ima light somebody on fire 🥰🥰

anyways dms n asks r ALWAYS open and if ur new to my person/being/blog/existancewhatevs and wanna get to know me or smth then FEEL FREE TO SLIDE IN GIRLYPOPS!!! I'M ALWAYS BORED SOO 😭😭🙏 (might take like, a billion years to reply tho mbmb >:3)

and thus again, without any further ado, MY INTRO POST 😍

🎶 try to strike a chord but it's probably A MINOR 🎶 -> ✨️im under 18✨️ idm nsfw convos tho bcuz theyre funny :D

sooo tbh you can call me whatever you want? like ppl call me different things (eg senka calls me kam, bea calls me keke/kekere bcuz shes 🎶a meanie, a big meanie🎶 my irl bestie westie pookie poo calls me jeena CUZ HES A LIL BITCH) but MHM!!! CALL ME WHATEVER U WANNA <33 (as long as it dont feel masc bcuz my dumbass got issues w feeling masc for some RANDOM STUPID REASON 💀) (like im literally a cis girl why do i got problems w this....... but YAAAA 😭) (she/her btw!!! if that wasnt obvious!! ^^)

✨️i am cringe but i am free✨️

I SOMETIMES USE GENDERED TERMS LIKE GIRLY/BRO/DUDE/ETC BUT I DON'T MEAN IT GENDERED SO IF YOU FEEL IFFY THEN DONT HESITATE TO HMU N TELL ME TO FIX UP MY SHIT

btw im a tad bit of train wreck but if u enjoy the chaos then we'll get along js fine i think pooks 😋😋

anyways it came to my shitty little attention span one day when i was just being a silly lil girly that some of yall think im white when i say im british....... CHAT NOOO IM BORN N RAISED IN THIS TEA RIDDEN COUNTRY BUT ETHNICITY WISE IM BANGLADESHI!??!?! YALL IM LITERALLY A BROWNIE OMFDS 🤧

also a lot of this blog is a bunch of reblogs of shit im interested in BUT I DO HAVE OG STUFFFFFF, THEY'RE JUST IN THEIR OWN TAGS U GET ME??? anyways some of the tags!!!

karmaajr rambles -> for everything i post besides answers to asks :3

karmaajr answers ig :D -> answers to asks ^^

important thing for me to tag bcuz yes -> random thing i really wanna save (also im bad at tagging so sometimes thing has an "s" or tag has an "s" lmfao, ITS A RLLY USELESS TAG TO TRY SCROLL THRU ICL.... RLLY DRY AS WELL)

karmas mum mentions :3 -> i like to think this one explains itself yall 😘

daddy's unhinged -> anything about my sweet ol' pops (who totes cares abt me yall) 🥰

my sister and I -> anything my sister is involved in that i actually remember to tag LMFAO

NOT MY ASS MENTIONING PANIK -> me wanting to save things that r to do w my gf 🫶

BTW HIS @ IS @panikbutt0n AND SHE'S MY MAPLE SYRUP CHUGGING 4LIFER AND LITERALLY THE BEST THING SINCE RIPPED BREAD AND I LOVE HER SO SO SO MUCH SO ACC HIT HER UP PLZ 🙏🙏🙏🙏

btw yall, ur homegirl aint no gatekeeper so the group matching pfp thingy is from @tuturthecarvroom 's blog (n they very skibidi sbg art btw so i do reccomend frfr) and mY HEADER IS OFF GOOGLE SEARCH 😍😍

ALSO I AM CURRENTLY MATCHING WITH THE SILLIEST GROUP EVER FRFR, GONNA TRY @ THEM ALL BUT IT'S HARDDD (my memory is the shittiest thing since That One Time my friend shit his trousers on call w me 💪💪💪)

@lee1504 -> BRAINROTTED KING 🙏🙏

@d011zk1ll -> both kind af and somewhat unhinged??? like both "do a good deed to make somebody else's life easier ☺️" AND "im gonna eat a bicycle :p"

@sketchingwithlyn -> JUST THE CHILLEST GUY EVERRRR!!!!

@rot-decay-erosion -> gramps 🧓🏻 (also known as the desendant of our king garfield 😙✨️)

@afrogwhocantdraw -> RESIDENT BENLOR POOKIE

@low-senka -> the brokest senior citezen youve ever met 💔💔💔💔 (yall need to donate to my guy 🥺🥺🥺)

(also the thing below had me stuck looking at it for literally AGES so hehehehehhehehe GET TRAPPED IDIOT!!!!!! >:3!!!!!)

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(dots r fun)

anyways i have no clue what else to write!!! which is weird bcuz im a yapper frfr :D

ANYWAYS LOVE Y'ALL ✨️✨️✨️

WAIT

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THEY 👥 DONT🙅🏼‍♀️ LOVE 😘 YOU 🫵🏼 LIKE I 👀 LOVE 🥰 YOU 🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼

[cordspaghetti]

feeling nuts ok so i was looking at the full page of that High School Drag interview after um going thru the 5 stages of decomposition over it and i recognized one of gerard’s other answers (about people grabbing their package) as identical to something they said in a much older interview so i was like oh are we pulling quotes from other things here? can i Search the Web and find the og source for what he said about doing drag? so i DID and i found each sentence of his answer, which i bolded, within larger quotes from completely different places, like:

“I like to think of it as a cry for help trapped in a pop song...When I was writing it, I was remembering how hard it was to be a 16-year-old in high school. I always wanted to be an artist, so I was this loner kid who just got drunk all the time. I only had one real friend. There was a girl I really liked, and she ended up taking really sleazy photographs with her boyfriend, and that really crushed me...I was just swimming in this pit of despair, jealousy and alcoholism.” (June 23, 2004 from mtv archive)

“I went to school in drag, in art school and my day was completely different because everybody thought I was a chick.” (we all know this one, earliest place i found it was here from 2003ish but i think the site’s broken now)

“You’re going to come across shitty bands and a lot of shitty people. And if any one of those people call you names because of what you look like or they don’t accept you for who you are, I want you to look right at that motherfucker, stick up your middle finger, and scream ‘Fuck you!’” (found this in a bunch of places, the earliest so far being Oct 22, 2006 on imnotokay.net where it’s listed as an “old article”)

for reference again the lad mag interview goes like:

“How did you find high school? Hard. I always wanted to be an artist, so I was this loner kid who just got drunk all the time. I only had one real friend. 

In what ways were you a loner? I went to school in drag. People call you names because of what you look like, because they don't accept who you are.”

so this has me thinking that at least this portion of the interview is entirely collaged together, with the context abt high school for the second answer basically fabricated? idk how common a practice this is in like. music journalism but LAD Mag (which this is from) was a magazine that came with copies of Sugar for free, so maybe the standards were different OR SOMETHING. idk maybe gerard just happened to repeat himself here. i want to believe in high school drag. but also their history with gender is important to meeeee and i want to make sure i am not consuming Fake Info about it !!!! 

[jessidogg]

LESSGOOO MY FIC PREVIEW #singittogetherzine

Yes... I am in it😋 Under the name Twixxy! I got thru it despite my writer's block lately hahaha, and I want to thank Jenn and Spooky especially for helping me and inspiring me to get thru it! The compliments I have gotten on my past works and this one, plus the help, means everything.

These authors and artists have really outdone themselves! So glad to be a part of this!

Hope you enjoy this preview!

~~~

...John Dory slipped his vest on, then his shorts, and placed his goggles over his forehead.

        Another day not so like the others.

        A day full of flashbacks just like every year.

        Sighing, he began to march out of his room, slowly but carefully, his vision playing tricks on him in the dark as he slipped on a few pieces of paper that he knew Floyd had left from brainstorming song ideas.

        He didn’t have time to get annoyed right now and tramp into his younger brother's room complaining like he might’ve any other day.

        He needed to get to the elevator.

        He needed to get outside.

        He just needed air...

~~~

..."Floyd!” his mother cried out behind him as she and his father caught up. “Where’s Floyd?!” Her voice strained with worry as the screams from the trolls got louder.

        Suddenly, they felt a cold presence behind them.

        Everyone turned to see a humongous purple pimply hand reach down and snatch a troll.

        The troll shrieked and immediately, along with John Dory’s dad, rushed to grab the trolls’ hands and pull him away from the bergen’s strong grip.

        They tugged and yanked, and suddenly the troll popped out of the bergen’s hand.

        They all fell backwards in a heap as the hand pulled back quickly.

        John Dory heard the bergen grunt in annoyance and his mom began to cry....

~~~

...John Dory felt something crawl up next to him on top of Rhonda.

        He didn’t care. As long as this thing didn’t bother him.

        His eyes stayed closed and his gasps didn’t slow as the memory continued to run through his mind.

        Then he felt a hand. On top of his.

        John Dory felt his conscious being brought back a little, drifting away a bit from the past. He felt his right eye open to see who had interrupted.

        His mother’s navy blue eyes looked down at him, filled with worry and concern.

        Wait, no… not his mother…

        Branch...

~~~

  ...Branch had never met his parents. John Dory and his bros had no idea what happened to them- if they were alive, if they were eaten.

        But it was still a major loss.

        Yet, it had come with an amazing addition.

        John Dory turned and grinned at his baby brother.

        Love him with everything within you.         

        He would never admit this but… that was pretty easy to do when it came to Branch.

~~~

That's it. The whole story.

Jk, now this actually makes sense in the real zine! Go follow @sing-it-togetherzine for more details!! Zine drops in January, yeeee!

Also follow @spooky-pop they were a tremendous help with the entire thing.

GO BE EXCITED, LIVE EAT LAUGH AND GO LOVE UR NEIGHBOR AND BUCKLE UR SEATBELT. just obey the law in general.❤❤

Thanks for reading my preview!

[mscordonean]

Mr. Ken? Stop calling me that.

You were modelling for the new KENTO® magazine when your boss, the CEO, Kento Nanami walks into the room, you were so invested in the cameras flashing and getting the perfect pose that you didn't hear him calling your name. He walks infront of you and you're right in line with his abs. You look up to see a very angry boss. "You answer me when I call you" "Sorry Mr. Ken". You put on your best pout face. "I have decided i am going to marry you". WHATTTT!? You were shocked beyond borders when he randomly popped the question. "So... No proposal? No ring?". "I will get you a ring later, right now we need to sign the papers", "No wedding? I don't accept then", he frowns at your statement. "What is the point?". He starts to walk away but you stop him. "Excuse me?" He turns around and stares at you as if you're stupid, he shakes his head. "We'll only be married for a year anyway". He then takes of with his secretary. It seemed like he only asked you to marry him for work purposes, but he asked you in particular! (the delulu is kicking in) This made you extremely happy for some reason but you weren't going to play easy.

Your back at your apartment you see a bunch of guys moving your stuff. You first instinct is to scream but then you spot Nanami. "What is the meaning of all this?" You complained to Nanami hoping he would get the guys to stop moving your stuff. "If you're going to be my wife, we are going to have to move in together so people don't get suspicious." "But i like my house, i can report you for trespassing" "Listen here lil lady, have you forgotten who i am? Not only am i your boss but your husband too, so I have every right to be in your house" Kento say in a deep tone making you shut up almost immediately as you watched your aesthetic house turn into nothing.

Kento insists he drive you to your new house. You didn't really care if it was a mansion because if it wasn't pink the moment you stepped in, you would have no choice but to run away. He was silent the whole time and you had no intention of talking to him either. "One year isn't that long" He finally spoke. You hesitate but reply "It's not that I don't want to marry you it's just that i need my own private space too." "I understand that and my mansion is big enough for you to have your own private space, you hungry?" "yeah, starved" you reply and he pulls into a mcdonald's drive thru. "Hello, what would you like to order" a female voice came from the 'put your order in' machine. "I would like a big mac meal and for my wife.." Kento looks over to you. "a mcspicy meal and a raspberry kitkat mcflurry, please" "alright that would be £15.78 please." After getting the food Kento hands you to mcdonald's bag and he stops in the car park. After you got your things out, he takes the bag and starts stuffing his face with the big mac. You giggle and he turns to you "What?" "You eat just like any other man, i thought you'd have more manners" you might have laugh too hard as Kento starts to slow down his chewing. "it's okay Mr. Ken, it means you and i can be more comfortable eating together". He puts on an expression that seemed somewhat like a smile and starts to speak. "Mr. Ken? Stop calling me that, I'm your husband now."

(when you get to you guys' new home he makes you sign the marriage papers)

[jeonwonoow]

Chapter 1. The Invitation

warnings: none

taglist: @miraes-world

—

A soft sigh left your mouth before you lightly bit your lower lip as you stared at the white card with powder blue accents and at the center, a photo of a little boy sitting in between his big teddy bear’s legs. The corners of your lips curl up into the softest smile possible as you caressed the said photo. “You look so much like Soonyoung, really,” you whisper as if the little boy could hear you.

You didn’t bother to open the card and put it down on your coffee table then grab your phone in exchange.

Soonyoung:

Hope you got the invitation in your mail. Hayoon wanted to bring it personally to you but we were busy in preparations for Hyungjunnie’s christening. See you there, Y/N!

You:

I did, Hosh! I’ll make sure to come. I can’t believe it’s been a year since junnie came.

Soonyoung:

Yeah! So when is our best friend gonna grant our wish and give our junnie a playmate? :(

You:

Tell junnie I'm sorry haha. It'll take a while.

Soonyoung:

We're at that age. You've buried yourself under all the work since...you know...:( why not give love a shot again?

With a shake of your head, you put your phone inside the pocket of your jacket and got up from the couch, not sending any reply to Soonyoung's last text message. Sunday won't be a free day then since you need to go out and get some nice clothes for their son's christening.

While driving to the mall, the deafening silence made you think about the last text message of your friend again. He's right and it's somewhat sad. You like to think that you have completely gotten over the past, just because you don't cry over it anymore. You just didn't want to admit to yourself that your heart still has that wound that wouldn't heal, no matter how much time had already passed, no matter who tried to help you; that it still clenches whenever he passes through your thoughts. You tried. You tried hard. You gave it a try, you gave men chances, but nothing works anymore so you just focused on work, work, and work.

"It's been 3 years," you whispered as you watched the countdown of numbers beside the stoplight. "If we never broke up, would we have had our first born already too?" You slightly chuckle and grab your coffee you got from a drive thru earlier, taking a sip just to wake you up a little bit and stop your silly brain.

—

The week passed by so fast you hadn't noticed it's already saturday, Hyungjun's christening. Soonyoung had to call you and check up on you, making sure again that you're coming. He checked up multiple times during the weekdays too that you almost feel like you're the one going to be baptized. "Jesus christ, Hosh."

"Okay, okay, sorry. Just asking if you're coming...again. You know, junnie misses you very much." Actually, he's just very worried you wouldn't come after seeing the invitation you didn't even open, which is by the way, missing. You ended the call while rummaging through all the papers on your table, unable to find the invitation. You probably brought it to your office and left it there but whatever, you could come in your pyjamas and Soonyoung and Hayoon would still take you in as they seem so excited for your presence.

As soon as you got your dress on, you slipped on a white pair of high heels and gave yourself one last look on your mirror before hurrying to the parking lot of your flat. You can't understand how you're feeling at the moment, and why it's all mixed up. You drove anyway to the location with your thoughts pushed in the back of your head.

The first thing you see after getting out of your car is Soonyoung walking towards you, followed by Hayoon who's holding Hyungjun's hand as the little boy stumbles, still learning how to walk.

"I'm so glad you came!" Soonyoung spread his arms and you dive into his hug. "We've all been so busy the past months."

"Right. I'm still so glad Soonyoung turned out to be a really responsible dad and husband though," Hayoon pops into the conversation. "Imagine if I had to be a mom and also had to work altogether. At least I get to be with junnie while he grows."

"I know," you chuckle. No, what do you know about being a mom, it's just an expression. "Will you come back to your work when Hyungjun grows a little more?"

"We're planning to just build a business, actually," Hayoon says as you all walk into the church, Hyungjun now carried by you.

The sound of a car making a drift onto a parking space made you turn your head just quickly before turning to your friends again. You couldn't pinpoint what that feeling is again but your breath surely hitched.

A few minutes later, the ceremony starts and you get into the solemn feel of the moment not until the priest ordered the godparents to come in front. As you find your spot, you see him in your peripheral vision. Just to make sure you weren't going insane, you slowly turned your head to your right to fully see the man in white button up and black slacks with his hair pushed back. It's almost as if you have become deaf that moment. The world just stopped and you weren't sure if you're still breathing.

He looked at you and your eyes locked for a few seconds before you broke it as soon as the corners of his lips curled into that smile. That stupid smile that never failed to make all the blood in your body go up to your face. You wanted to leave. You wanted to disappear. But for Hyungjun, for Soonyoung and Hayoon, you needed to stay, and so you did.

Soonyoung and Hayoon noticed how tense you were when everyone was sent back to their seats. They looked at you with worried eyes, and then looked at him.

"What's this?" You mouthed as soon as Soonyoung returned his eyes on you. He raised his palm a bit, enough to signal you that you'll talk about it later.

After the ceremony, you hurried to your car faster than lightning, but not faster than Soonyoung who left his wife and son inside to entertain everyone and the priest. "Hey-"

"I wasn't informed, Kwon Soonyoung."

"I was wondering too," he nods. "Your names were written beside each other in the invitation. You know now why I kept checking if you'd come. I was wondering why you weren't going mad, honestly." Ah, yes, the invitation you lost that you hadn't even got to open. Your shoulders sulked as you leaned back against your car door.

—

"Hayoon," the woman turned when she heard a man call her name after everyone started to leave. "She's still here? I didn't think she'd come."

"Hey," Hayoon greeted back, holding Hyungjun in her arms tightly. "Soonyoung and I were worried about that too. Looks like she didn't see your name listed there, Wonwoo."

Wonwoo chuckled, remembering that habit of yours to not read details thoroughly. You even accidentally drank expired milk because of that back when you were in highschool.

"Soonyoung probably followed her." Hyungjun stretches his arms to Wonwoo and the man gladly takes him as they walk to the parking lot, his heart instantly warming up.

—

The moment you see Hayoon approaching with the man carrying the little boy behind her, you grab the handle to your car door but Soonyoung stops you from opening it. "Kwon Soony-"

"Y/N," his voice went into your ears and straight to the void in your heart. Jeon Wonwoo. "It's been so long." Your eyes went from Soonyoung to Wonwoo to Hayoon to Soonyoung to Wonwoo.

"What do you guys want from me?" Almost like a kid throwing tantrums, you whined making them chuckle. You're still that whiny girl they remember even after changing your persona into this tough, independent, workaholic single lady after breaking up with Wonwoo.

A moment of silence fell between the five of you until Hyungjun started throwing an actual tantrum, probably wanting to go home already just like you. "Come here," Soonyoung takes him from Wonwoo and bids goodbye to you. Hayoon does the same, leaving you and Wonwoo like they didn't just set you up into this. And so you were left in yet the most awkward position you've ever been in your life, standing face to face with your ex.

"Hey," you both say, your voice almost coming out as a soft whisper. Wonwoo slips his hands into his pockets and presses his lips against each other into a thin line. "I didn't think you'd come," you both say again, getting surprised at how your minds still sync.

"I actually didn't see the invitation."

"I was thinking if you read my name, you'd cancel."

"'course I would." You roll your eyes and turn to open your door, finally, but you're stopped again by Wonwoo's hand on your arm this time. "Can you not fucking touch me?"

"Can you not curse on me?" His stern voice made you turn your head. "I want a peaceful talk and you're making it hard. Are you still mad after all those years? Can you hear me out? Or, can we at least be civil this time?"

Yes, you're still mad after all those years. And no, you don't wanna hear him out and have everything come crushing your heart again. Also no, you can't stay civil with him because you'd go insane with him being so close yet so far. "I hate you. So much. Jeon Wonwoo."

[sugar-omi]

yes i based coves experience off my first time getting high i feel like we would relate <////3 advice: don't get high if youre anxious or going thru smth👍 or at least don't take 2. i was high until noon THE NEXT DAY. PLS....

tags : NSFW, step 3, all readers, multiple choice dialogue/words, power bottom reader, getting high, non-established to established relationship

synopsis : you and cove get high together, which causes you to have a little heart to heart which leads to something a lot more..

if you asked cove what he planned to do today, getting high was not one of them. when cove came in unsuspectingly through your window, and in the midst of his gaping you offered him a gummy that you cut for your new guest.

it was his first time getting high so you didn't want to intimidate him more by smoking to get high, and besides:

you don't like smoking, so you don't keep stuff to roll.

you smoke, but didn't keep anything besides gummies because your mom's asked you not to smoke in the house.

you smoke, but ran out of weed.

you smoke, but didn't want to smoke around cove.

you smoke, but didn't want to make cove feel awkward by being the only one having a gummy.

cove stared at the gummy in your hand and thought about it, and you even soothed his voiceless worry and assured him he didn't have to, but in the end he took the gummy and that led you to now.

it was interesting, at first cove was quiet and just hid for awhile in the nest of his arms.

but after the anxiety passed, and cove stopped looking like he was going to either float away or shake a hole into your floor; you made your way to your bed.

in the back of your hazy mind you think that you're glad you got a double bed.

your playlist varying between pop punk, indie, and rock. now cage the elephant is playing through out your room. you weren't paying attention, what song is this?

taking a break from thinking about the depths and shadows of cove's eyes help you realize the song is 'come a little closer.'

cove is the one who speaks first.

"this is... this is certainly another thing 18 year olds can do." he refers back to what you said a few weeks ago when cove suggested you use your newfound legal adulthood to jet-ski.

you fret, looking at cove's blown out eyes has you full of nerves and a bit of regret. "sorry i got you high."

always being brave for you, cove puffs himself up. "its fine, I've been curious anyway and besides, i get to experience it with you."

cove startles, as much as one can when high as a kite. "or is that weird? I just, I like having my first times with you. ah wait, that sounds sexual-"

cove stutters, and while he flounders, you just watch the way his lips are more full now that you're older and how his tank top reveals his chest and toned arms, and the way his body has become so firm. so refined and sunkissed...

you lean closer, putting a hand on his cheek. he's lost most of his baby fat, he's becoming a man, and thus more irresistible.

"cove..."

you tease cove for his slip up again, just like in the RV during your anklet chat 10 years ago. "I want you to be my first time, too. sexually..." you smirk, meeting him on the floor to kiss him.

"i like doing stuff with you too.." you don't comment on the unintentional innuendo and meeting him on the floor to kiss him.

you just crawl next to him on the floor, your intentions to kiss him clear.

cove flushes, closing his eyes and letting his hands grip your thighs.

something he did not think through because as your kisses deepened, going from tender and unexplored territory to hot, wet kisses..

cove let his hands travel up your leg.

somehow cove is both hyper aware of his existence in his skin but also can't feel his hands. he just feels warm. is it from the blood rushing through him or is it from the heat of your palms on his back, feigning to touch his skin...

when you pull back to grip his wrists, cove almost doesn't hear what you're saying because your eyes are hooded and your lips are wet and swollen from the biting and sucking and kissing, oh god you kissed oh go-

"your hands... not that I want you to stop but..." you trail off, taking your bottom lip between your teeth. "are you sure?"

cove pants, realizing how handsy he got.

he thinks as best he can. somehow he's calm but also cove can feel his anxiety filling his body like it's an empty glass and suddenly he's a tall glass of anxiety.

cove swallows. he ignores the burning of his body.

"only if you want to."

"I want to, do you want to?" even if the room is spinning and your blood is rushing to your fingertips, you still want to make sure this is something cove wants.

"yeah... yeah I want to. just uh..." cove pulls you unto his lap. oh god he'd never do this, oh man this is the first time he's done anything like this...

distantly cove wonders if his dad or mom will be disappointed but when your tongues swipes your lips he forgets the negative thought and continues.

"just... let's just touch each other, for a bit."

you nod. "okay."

cove has a mouth of fucking gold.

also why is your floor so hard? you should get a rug. maybe a pink one... no, no definitely not. how did you decide the floor was the best place for some head anyway?

ah, maybe one the color of cove's hair that's tangled in your fingers right now...

cove looks at you from between your legs, his lips wrapped around your clit / cock and when you make eye contact he sucks, he swipes his tongue over your sensitive sex.

"oh fuck!"

his eyes. the rug should be the color of his eyes.

you cum into cove's mouth, holding his head down as your cum fills his mouth. when cove pulls away and swallows, you pull the stuffed animal on the floor over your face. fuck he's hot.

you cum around cove's fingers, tugging on his hair and you push him away as he licks and sucks on your cunt again. when cove finally gets up, he licks his fingers clean. fuck he's hot..

you try to stop the spinning of your head. taking the time to ground yourself...

you gasp, cove's lips placing a kiss on your hip bones.

you peak at him, licking your lips and swallowing. you... didn't think you and cove would confess to each other like this.

well... if you can count cove giving you oral as "confessing."

you pull him up for a kiss, licking your arousal off his lips.

fuck, cove's lips covered in spit and your fluids is sexier than it should be.

you break apart, panting and you fumble to undo the string of cove's sweat pants. "do you.. um." cove kisses your lips, cupping the back of your neck. "i have- *kiss* condo-mhm-s... cove-"

he's making it a bit hard to speak with how he keeps pulling you in for a kiss, but you finally get it out. or well. most of it. you can't remember all that you wanted to say, it's not that important though as long as cove keeps kissing you.

even though he's the one constantly pulling you back in, cove pulls away and just puts your foreheads together.

all that's left is your labored breathes...

"who uh.. who's on top?" cove breathes out, waiting, thinking...

you pull on his shirt, realizing you're shaking a bit. "you."

cove inhales sharply, and somehow you can't resist teasing him more. "i wanna.. feel. you, cove."

you just look at each other, his broad blue eyes staring back into your own.

finally, cove whispers. "please."

it's like water falling over the edge, and in a haze the last of your clothes scatter across your floor and you fall into your bed with cove splayed nicely against your pillows.

you can't help but laugh at cove's flushed face and how easily he makes himself comfortable, as if he isn't laying with his cock out and you in his lap.

"enjoying the view there, holden?" you smirk lazily, and before he can protest about checking you out, he moans when you roll the condom over his cock.

his thighs twitch, and the sudden buck of cove's hips make you bounce. "s-sorry... 'm sensitive..." cove pants.

you don't say anything, just leaning on cove's chest as you line his dick up with your entrance.

you slowly sink onto cove's cock, underestimating how much of a stretch this would be... you pant into cove's neck, his hands coming up to grip your sides.

cove bucks up, unable to stay still from the sensation of you around him, making you cry out. you slap his shoulder. "stay still!"

cove rambles his apologies. you just huff and start lowering your hips again, slowly taking him until your ass is flush with his thighs.

"c'mere.." you take cove's face between your hands, smooshing your lips together in a messy kiss.

while cove slips his tongue into your mouth, lost in the feeling of you pulling him closer and moans that slip out of you both and wield together, you start moving.

cove breaks the kiss up with a sharp gasp, his fingers digging into your hips.

cove throws his head back, moans and breathy mumbles escaping easily from his swollen lips.

you kiss his neck, taking advantage of cove's intense and lovely reaction to you pleasuring him. "you're so pretty.." you purr into his ear, following it by nibbling on his lobe.

cove whines, and you can't fight the grin on your face. cove wraps his fingers around the nape of your neck, pulling you in. "stop.. *pant* teasing me."

your lips brush against each other as you talk, "but you're so cute."

between the edible and this new development between you two, your heads are spinning and everything is moving so fast.

when cove wraps his arm around your waist, his other hand cupping your face tenderly, it's as if he isn't fucking up into you.

"o-oh!" you grip onto cove, eyes wide and a loud moan slipping from your lips.

the sudden change surprises you, cove's legs tilted up so he can plant his feet and fuck you back. every time your hips pull away, he's meeting you there.

eventually, you just lean into him, tugging on his hair and engaging in a wet, hot kiss. the assault on your insides is lovely, but the way he falters and starts to get breathy, almost whiny, is so much cuter.

"i-i'm close.. please. please y/n..." cove gasps against your lips, holding your hips down and grinding your hops together.

you whimper, shaking from how his tip rubs against your sensitive and thoroughly loved walls.

"i'm close too, cum wit' me..." you rasp, reaching between your bodies to stroke your cock / rub circles around your clit, trying to meet cove before he can finish before you.

"y/n!" cove exclaims, whiny, holding your hips down as he fills up the condom.

you shake and collapse on his shoulder as you finish, your hole fluttering and clenching around him, making cove whine and pant.

you lean into each other for a while before you finally gather the strength, lifting off him with shaky legs, cove gasping at the movement on his sensitive length.

you lean over the bed to search for some baby wipes for you and your dazed neighbor while cove pulls the condom off, wrapping it in some tissues and throwing it the trash by the bedside.

cove mumbles a thanks, and everything is silent for a moment as you quickly wipe away some of the sweat and slick/cum on your skin.

you pull cove backward, making him yelp, but you ignore him and curl your body against his.

"h-hello?" cove grimaced, feeling awkward and surprised by you pulling him down to cuddle.

"hey." you greet, absently playing with the strands of cove's hair.

cove clears his throat, "so uh.." he flips over on his side, his eyes flickering between your deep gaze down to every faint freckle or smile line.

"would this be a bad time to tell you i have a crush on you?" cove laughs, reaching up to take your hand that's in his hair, in his hand.

"no, because i like you too." you confess softly.

cove beams, sitting up, a blush settling on his cheeks again. "really?!"

you nod, "yes cove. i like you, so much."

cove takes a moment to sit there and stare at you with wide, teary eyes before he throws himself on top of you, wrapping you in his arms and going on about how much he loves you, and how happy he is.

you're so flustered, the edible making cove's lips loose, and he let's go of every thought in his head, down to nearly every detail of how lovely you are and how much he's wanted to do this.

he pulls away, visibly happy with your flustered face, although it can't be denied that he's flustered as well.

"so.. does this mean i can be your boyfriend?" you can practically see the wagging tail on cove.

you wrap your arm around his neck, cupping his cheek. "i hope so mr. holden, it'd be awkward to do all this and not date."

cove blinks for a moment, before he looks down and realizes. "oh..."

it takes another moment as the blush over tails his body, down to his shoulders. he hides his face in his hands.

when he starts speaking you lean closer to hear his muffled speech.

"-can't believe i did that and we're naked!"

cove is losing his mind, even the edible can't take away his embarrassment.

you laugh, pulling his hands away. you speak with a wolfish smile,

"if it helps, your lack of clothes and dicking me down didn't influence my decision."

"if it helps, your dick and lack of clothes only made me like you more."

cove yelps, his voice cracking as he scolds you.

he slumps over, hiding himself in your neck. "this is so embarrassing..."

you laugh, patting his back. you sooth him before you break the news. "not as embarrassing as when our parents find out."

cove groans loudly, throwing himself off you and hiding in your pillows instead. "why'd you have to remind me?!" he yells at you, muffled.

you just smile, shrugging even though he can't see it. you'll have to go through it together, so at least you can suffer the aftermath with company.

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Wrong One

Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader meets Steve while he is on the run and stands by him through everything. Until he sees Peggy Carter again.

9. The Storm Pt2

Warnings: swearing, angst

~Last chapter~

They got up to leave before Steve left the stage but the crowd was difficult to get thru and before they made it to the door, he was suddenly in front of them with a nasty grin

"Well look what we have here, the whore and the bastard who stole her. You kids can't leave yet, we have a lot to talk about."

~~~~~~~

Y/N felt her heart racing and her stomach turning. How was he even here, looking like he used to? She wrapped one arm around her belly to protect her and stepped back, into Bucky, whose right arm she held tightly in front of her.

Bucky was seething, the plates in his prosthetic whirring as he tensed for a fight. How dare Steve just pop back up, young again and throwing insults at his girl. "You have a lot of fucking nerve showing up here and tossing insults around when you're the one who left her!"

He looked at the crowd that had gathered around them, noticing the clicking and flashing of multiple cameras. "If you must do this we should go somewhere without the audience."

Steve nodded "Maybe we should go to your brownstone, in Queens. It looks awfully cozy from what I've seen." He spat out bitterly.

An out of breath Pepper rushed up to them "Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't know he was-"

"I'm right here Pepper. Good to see you too." Steve interrupted.

Pepper glared at him. "I don't know what you're up to Steve but you best not put Y/N through anymore drama. It's not good for her baby."

Steve scoffed "I think you mean our baby. That is my kid. Unless she's more of a tramp than I thought."

Pepper bristled and had to stop herself from slapping him "How dare you call her names. The way you've treated her is unforgivable. You don't get to come back and cause trouble when you made your own mess." She took a breath to calm down, there were too many people here watching.

She lowered her voice "How are You even here? Like that" she pointed vaguely at him.

Steve grinned, obviously proud of himself. "I went to see Hank Pym and uh, convinced him to show me how to go back to my younger self."

He turned to look at Y/N. "I wanted to come back and marry you, take care of you and our daughter. I didn't expect to find you just a couple of months later playing whore to my so called best friend. It's impressive that you caught Bucky while you were fat and pregnant."

Y/N had to stop herself from flinching at the insult but Bucky heard her gasp.

Bucky growled and stood in front of Y/N possessively "You best knock off the name calling punk. You wouldn't even be here if you hadn't found out she was pregnant. After more than 5 years together you just up and left for a woman you barely knew decades ago. You didn't even have the decency to tell her beforehand."

Y/N couldn't say anything and just stood there, holding Bucky's arm and feeling lightheaded. When she felt like the room was spinning she pulled on the arm of his jacket and he turned just in time to catch her as she fainted.

Bucky swore softly and picked her up bridal style "I need to get her out of here, lets get to the car."

Pepper helped clear the way and her limo was waiting for them "Happy, please take them home and come back for me."

She looked Bucky in the eye "Take good care of them."

Bucky nodded "Always" then gently settled Y/N in the car and buckled her seat belt. He slid in next to her and Steve sat across from them.

The ride to Queens was silent, both men tense, and Y/N didn't wake up until the car stopped at her home. She looked around the car and saw Steve smiling at her, with a look in his eyes that she couldn't decipher, and felt her stomach turn again.

They went inside and Steve and Bucky sat in the living room while she went to change into more comfortable clothes.

When Y/N came out in one of Bucky's shirts, a pair of sweats and fuzzy slippers on her feet, Bucky got up to help her get settled and brought her some water and crackers.

Y/N sat quietly for a moment before blurting out "What are you really doing here, Steve?"

Steve scoffed "To get back what's mine, you and our daughter. You weren't even going to tell me you were pregnant, were you? How long have you two been together?"

Y/N had enough of his nastiness "You have a lot of fucking nerve to come in here calling names and tossing around accusations when you left me! With no notice, no goodbye. Nothing.

I had planned to tell you that night after you returned the stones. I had it all planned, a romantic dinner and the ultrasound picture framed and wrapped up for you."

She paused to catch her breath "when you showed up old after living your life with her, there didn't seem any point in telling you."

Steve reached out to take her hand but she pulled back, he spoke anyhow "I'm sorry for leaving you like that but I deserved to have my happy ending too. Now I have that all out of my system so I want you back. I want us to be a family and raise our daughter together."

Y/N shook her head "Why would you want to be with a whore? Couldn't you and Peggy have kids?"

Steve shook his head sadly "Peggy was too busy with SHIELD and her work against Hydra to want any kids. I had accepted that I'd never have any kids when Sam told me you were pregnant. I knew then that I had to get you back, be a family."

Y/N scowled at him "Did you lose your memories in the quantum realm? What did I tell you the first time you tried to leave me? You've had your second chance, that's all there is. We're over."

Steve looked surprised "I was just upset seeing you and Bucky so close, I'm sorry, maybe I overreacted.

I do remember what you said but now there's a baby coming, that changes things."

Surprise shifted to anger "But I know you two have been fooling around, I can smell you on him. But you're having our baby. You have to give me another chance."

She looked at him like he was nuts which she was pretty sure he was. "The only thing I have to do is give you access to your biological child. You and me are done romantically."

Steve looked over at Bucky "I'm willing to fight for you."

She sighed heavily "You don't get it Steve, there's no more chances, there's no fighting for me. You could take out every bad guy in the world but it won't matter. I'm not getting back together with you, period.

And my relationship with Bucky is between me and him. Get it through your head."

Steve shook his head. "I don't accept that. I'll find a way back in your heart. We will be a family."

She ran her hand down her face "I don't know how to make you understand Steve." She sighed and looked deflated "You don't know what you did to me. I can't trust you again. Not with my heart."

Steve scowled "Yes you were so broken that you fell right into Bucky's bed. It makes me wonder what happened before I left." He looked at Bucky angrily "i asked you to take care of her, not take her for your own."

Bucky had been trying to stay quiet and let Y/N and Steve work it out but Steve crossed a line. "I didn't take anything, asshole. Y/N disappeared the day you left. Sam and I looked for her but had no luck. I ran into her at the ice cream parlor we knew in Brooklyn, months later.

Now I know that Pepper set her up here and even had Scott checking online regularly to erase any trail she left behind."

Y/N moved slowly "I'm exhausted. All this has been too much and I need to rest." She looked at Steve and sighed "We can work out visitation once she is born and maybe joint custody if you can convince me you won't try to take off with her but that's all."

She smiled softly at Bucky and Steve felt like he had been punched in the gut, she used to look at him like that.

Bucky stood to help her up "I'll see him out and bring your tea, just go lay down doll."

Y/N looked over at Steve "Do you remember when we were first together and I told you I wrote my term paper in history about Bucky? You said I wrote about the wrong one, because I ended up with you?" Steve nodded yes, smiling "You made a mistake. I wrote about the right one but I dated the wrong one, you're not the man I thought you were and Bucky is 10 times the man you will ever be."

She turned and walked away, over the whole conversation.

As Y/N left the room Steve looked at his oldest friend "Please Buck, I know I fucked up but I'm here now and want to take care of them. You know I've always wanted kids."

Bucky looked at him emotionless "We can't always get what we want." and went to the front door. "You need to go now."

Steve bristled and shoved him but Bucky expected it so barely moved "So thats it, huh? Everything we've been through and you won't give my girl back."

Bucky rolled his eyes "She isn't mine to give. She is not something to own and she made her stance very clear. I'm just here to help her however she wants."

"Yeah, whatever she wants. How long have you been fucking her? Before I left wasn't it? Is that brat even really mine?"

Bucky couldn't help himself and punched Steve in the face, knocking him down in his surprise "Fuck you Rogers. I've had enough and I will not let you cause her any more stress. You made your own goddamn bed so fuck off with it."

Steve refused the hand Bucky offered to help him up and stood on his own, rubbing his jaw "I must have touched a nerve. I'll go but I'm getting her back. This isn't over."

Chapter 10

[faghubby]

Hot tub

"Sure join us" Kathy said with a smile. What? We where naked in the hotel hot tub. And she just invited some guy to join us. He stepped up and noticed we were naked.

"Well if that's the rule" he said casually removing his trunks. My eyes almost popped out of my head as he exposed his cock dangling between his legs. Kathy reaches down and squeezed my dick as she made small talk with Roger. She was flirting with him. She stood up to reach for something whennshe sat back down she was sitting next to him,

"Baby did you see how big Roger's cock is" she asked me.

"No" I stuttered as she was obviously stroking it below the water.

"Paul's is really small. But he has a marvelous tounge" she told Roger.

"Stand up and show him baby. He loves when I tease him about it" Kathy continued.

"Show him, I bet it's hard thinking about me stroking Roger's over here" she smiled I stood and sure enough my 4 inches was throbbing. Roger slid up to the edge of the hot tub. It was even bigger must be 8, or 9 inches. Kathy smiled and started to suck his cock. I wanted her I slid over hoping to fuck her from behind.

"No baby eat my ass. I know you love to eat my ass" she told me. I sunk down and ate her ass as she sucked thus man's massive cock. After a few minutes I tried to fuck her again.

"Stol playing come here help me" Kathy said. Was she crazy I wasn't going to suck this man's cock. She reached back and grabbed my dick and pulled me to her.

"Go ahead there is plenty fir both of us. You suck cum time you got it from the source. She shoved his cock in my mouth. As she stroked me. I started to suck his cock she told me what to do. I focused on pleasing him Kathy suckingnhin as well I hadn't even noticed that she had stopped touching me altogether. I felt Roger big hand on my head pushing me down ever so slightly I tried to take more.

"It's his first cock, but I have known for a while he wanted one" Kathy told Roger. Roger grunted and held my head as he came. I gagged and spit cum goingeverywhere. Even coming out my nose. I dunked under the water to rinse it all off.

"Paul I want you to go back to the room. Roger is going to fuck me right here in front of everyone except you" I wanted to cry but stood up. "And now that we know you are a little fag. Why don't you wear my bikini bottoms. She handed me the little pink bottoms and watched as I put them on. She didn't even let me take a towel as I snuck back to our room hoping no one would see. I sat in her bikini waiting for over an hour before she came back wearing my swim shorts. She smiled taking them off.

"Got you a treat" she told me. As she pushed me back and fed me Roger's load. We had only done this once with her old boyfriend from college. About a year ago. And now suddenly she was all moss kinky. I ate his cum without complaining. I did like it. I loved when she took charge. It often fantasized about that night with her ex.

"I bought a new toy I was hoping you use on me" Kathy moaned. Wi offended used toys on her. "But maybe you like it if I used it on you" Kathy said as I made her cum. She rolled over and laid next to me.

"Roger completely satisfied me" she told me. "You look so cute in my bikini" she said then got up and grabbed the top.

"Let's go try it on" shs told me, then rummaged thru her overnight bag pulling out a blue velvet bag. Inside was a big thick black dildo attached to a harness. "I know it's kinda big for your first time"

"Baby, I didn't think" I told her

"That's okay we can just go to sleep" she assured me. I was still throbbing inner bikini bottoms.

"What if we tried one of the smaller ones" I suggested she smiled and jumped out of bed, she came back with two and lube.

"Role over" Kathy said giggling. She pulled her bikini bottoms down exposing my ass only she applied lube and worked in her fingers.

"Like that?" She asked I just nodded. She worked the in and out.

"Roger laid me down and fucked me while he played with my tits. She said re,oving her fingers she worked the toy in. It was alot bigger then her fingers. I felt pressure then pain as my ass gave way and let the invader in.

"Shh relax wait. Roger had my feet on his shoulders and piunded me. Don't you wish you where big enough man enough to fuck me like that." Kathy was working the toy slowly in and out.

"After seeing you drown trying to swallow Roger's seed maybe this is how we should have sex from now on" Kathy was now using long strokes slowly fucking me. I didn't even realize I was moaning. She pushed the second toy in my mouth to quiet me. I sucked the toy as she fucked my ass. I don't know how long this went onnfor but my jaw hurt and my ass was sore. When she stopped.

" go change I am sure you will like a pair of my panties" Kathy laughed I pulled off her bikini and realized I had cum in it. I rinsed off and grabbed the sexiest pair Kathy had packed and slid them on. She spooned me as we fell asleep.

[v7lgar]

on my hands and knees begging for daddy!monty/ sirius hcs Please

nsfw

i kinda wanna make a moodboard for them but am not sure abt the vibes... anyways here u go!

ever since sirius moved in w potter's he was in awe w monty. it was so innocent first couple of years until he hits the puberty and fuck his way thru hogwarts and then come home w james to see his smoking hot dad and he gets to call him dad too but yk what he does? he says daddy in hope so monty can feel the difference in the air. and ofc monty notices the change of tone and the looks but sirius is basically a teenager and his crush on him normal so completely ignores it

sirius is trying to deal w his crush on monty for a good amount of years and he is taller now even tho james and his dad are taller than him he is a man now and he cringes all the time he tried to flirt w monty when he was a teenager but convinces himself that the crush has passed and now he is subtle abt everything and stops w calling him daddy seductively. and also like james told him to stop messing w me w calling him daddy instead of dad lol and ofc james didn't mean it in a mean way but sirius panicked soooo fucking fast that he totally stopped hinting things

monty noticed that phase of "daddy monty" has passed finally and he gets to see sirius more after they graduated from hogwarts (and they didn't fucking die in a war) he gets to see how much his kids have grown and love them equally even tho not exactly the same way (wink)

now sirius is at his early 20's and he doesn't k ow which career path to follow where james is already a quidditch player and that means he is at home more than james is and he feels stupid bcuz james is doing adult things and already have a job and remus and peter have jobs too but sirius? he is a failure bcuz he never thought in depth what he wanted to do after hogwarts and now it came to bite his ass lol

anyways so he starts going out w muggles w his friends and sometimes alone and one time he gets hit on by an older man and he is not even interested but then that man talks and fuck. his voice so similar to monty's sirius pops a boner right there. he allows that man tho take him back of an alley and he is sucking his cock like his life depending on it while listening monty's voice telling him how pretty he is by swallowing his cock and he just imagines monty and his cock and he has seen james' cock and he knows monty has a huge dick. he gets dicked down by that man and goes to home as a wreck and jerks off to thought of monty lol

then all of his horny thoughts abt monty comes back even harder this time. he is fucking old man almost everyday and he has really specific abt those men. they all remind of monty in some way and that's all to get sirius on his fours and getting railed hard and all he can think abt monty and he gets off to it so bad lmfaooo almost pathetic

monty realizes sirius is changing but he has no idea in what way he is changing. like he is normal? he is both good w effie and him but also like. he either averts his eyes from monty so quick or linger on him when monty isn't looking and sometimes he notices sirius batting his eyelashes at him like he is flirting but then he gets red and quickly goes to his room without saying anything. and monty knows smth is up but he is also so confused but he also doesn't bring up to effie or james at all.

on the other hand sirius wants to move out to his own apartment but james has his partner and he can't move in w him and remus and him are exes so that can't happen either and peter isn't a good idea either bcuz they're not the ideal duo for staying at the same house lmao so he sticks around and he starts playing w monty too. calls him daddy when they're both alone in the room and looks at him w bedroom eyes and monty realizes that sirius is an attractive man now and not a child he met from years ago. so much has changed until now and he isn't sure but he has a feeling that sirius is onto smth.

i'd talk abt how they fuck nasty but this is already long af so feel free to ask abt them again!!