#then they cry despite owing money to get more money outta me

[bitchy-peachy]

I love deciding how to spend my money.

[anika-ann]

My Timid Hello, My Clumsy Goodbye (S.R.)

Type: one-shot, canon semi-compliant?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Barton!reader    Word count: 8900 (...sorry)

Summary: You’re spending the evening and the night before your wedding with the two most important men of your life.

When the sun rises again, you’ll say your ‘I do’ in a close circle of friends and family. It’s not a goodbye to your old life and it’s not a hello to some enormous change; but you will no longer be a Barton. You will be a Rogers. Why not reminisce a bit? 

Warnings: mention of an abandoned baby, blood and injuries, alcohol, implied possibly rougher sex (nothing graphic) ...mature?, language, so much sappiness... let me know if I missed any

A/N: For what-is-your-backupplan-today 10th anniversary of CA:TFA challenge. Prompts in bold. Thank you for coming up with this wonderful theme and hosting this challenge! Long live CA:TFA!

A/N: Throughout the fic, you’ll find snippets of lyrics from SYML’s "Everything All At Once”. Honestly, the song has a completely different meaning to me, but tearing it out of context works for this story just fine :) When you’re done reading, I recommend the music video. It friggin’ broke me in the worst and best ways. Enjoy!

This is my hello This is my clumsy goodbye I'm putting my glass down I wanna remember tonight

Tony rented an island for you. Clint nearly passed out learning about it and grumbled for days about having a hard time to top that, which, no arguing, was understandable.

It was an incredibly extravagant thing to do, throwing around money that could have been used for a much more honourable cause, but you couldn’t complain. One should not look a gifted horse into mouth – and so you didn’t.

Because Tony Stark renting an island was his premature wedding gift. The fact that your brother bitched about not being able to top that, well, that was his problem. You were certain that deep down, he knew you didn’t need any fancy gifts like that.

Then again, Tony’s gift might have been epically overpriced, but not exactly unthoughtful; along with a private island came a private jet and you being literally flied under radar so no single paparazzi knew where you and America’s golden boy Steve Rogers would seal the deal with your ‘I do.’ So, you were everything but ungrateful to your friend that he succeeded at pulling off such covert operation; and frankly, this place was nothing short of wonderful.

The golden sand was pleasantly warm under your toes as you as you and Clint walked towards the two single beach chairs facing the ocean. Wearing bikini under the baggy t-shirt and a pair of shorts, sunglasses on top of your head, because why would you deprive yourself the gorgeous view of the sun beginning to set down, you followed your brother – not in blood but in every other sense – to the seats, allured by the view, the serenity and the cold sixpack in his hand.

You had already had a traditional bachelorette party with your girls – with the team, with your family. Natasha, Wanda, Pepper, Sharon and Maria. The night had been the perfect blend of what was considered typically feminine, dress up, fanciness and wine and gossip, and a fun night out with shots, dancing, karaoke and pool. That particular night sadly was interrupted shortly by an annoying photographer, but he soon understood it was not very clever to annoy three and a half Avengers or the CEO of Stark Industries for that matter.

Clint however… Clint deserved a special evening with you. With the rest of the team in various state of chilling out, scattered around the luxurious small houses and gorgeous beaches, you two were left the privacy such moment required.

Even if the special moment consisted of simple talking and drinking beer while watching the sun set, a symbolic end of one phase of your life – a phase that was undeniably tied to the famous and yet barely known archer, one of the seven defenders who rushed into the Battle of New York to save the Earth.

One of the seven had been your brother, having previously been controlled by the monster who brought an army from outer space; there was no questioning whether you would join the fight or not, no matter how you preferred the latter part of your field medic job title to the former.

Another of these brave people, as it turned out, was your future husband. A man you had met for the first time that day, but whom you didn’t hesitate to push back down when he got hit by a freaking alien weapon and stood up, wanting to shake it off as if it was nothing. Your medical training told you not to let him; and your stubbornness had been just a touch stronger than his that day.

Apparently, Steve found you always standing your ground to be one of your most endearing qualities.

What a fancy way to express it instead of simply calling you a stubborn pain in his ass.

“You’re lost in your head, Twinkie,” Clint hummed, playfully nudging your ribs with an elbow, bringing you back to the present.

Your nose automatically scrunched at the childhood nickname.

“You gotta stop calling me that, Bobo,” you retorted, a grin spreading on your face as it was his turn to grimace.

You knew it was nothing but an act and that he in fact loved that nickname, because it held so much sentiment, so many memories… as did his endearment for you.

Bobo had been your first word or so Clint always claimed. Obviously, you wouldn’t remember.

You wouldn’t remember your parents, having been only two days old when your mother left you with a damn circus which was in your hometown at the time. You couldn’t recall how you wouldn’t stop crying until you heard a seven-year-old Clint humming a lullaby for you, with silly replacements of lyrics that always made you laugh later on when you could understand them.

How he started calling you Twinkie, because he was a sugar addict and apparently, you were sweet and small and he liked you; so much that he soon appointed himself to be your brother, your bro, your Bobo.

Once you were older and learned that your involuntary nickname for him also meant ‘crazy’ in Spanish, you were sold to that Bobo endearment forever.

Including the night before your wedding.

“You keep zoning out on me, Kid. Getting cold feet?” Clint hummed, casually handing you a can of beer, opening it up for you.

You automatically reached out and took a sip, eyes fixed on the warm colour on the horizon. What a ridiculous question… but kind and caring, with a hidden promise of getting you out of here if you just asked. Your amazing, protective, crazy brother.

You couldn’t but smile widely, glancing at him from the corner of your eye.

“You offering to kidnap the bride, Clint? I’d like to see you try. You were always better at trapeze than at being an escape artist.”

Clint scoffed. “Please. These are amateurs. I bet I could pull it off.”  

That drew a laugh from you.

“Are you calling the Avengers amateurs? Better yet, are you calling your wife an amateur?” you teased him, watching his face lose colour when he realized that he did exactly that. You leaned over and patted his thigh. “Don’t worry, Bobo. I won’t tell Nat.”

Clint visibly relaxed, but a shadow of worry twisting his expression.

“Seriously though. Where’s your head at, Kid?”

You just shrugged, smile resting on your lips as you wondered if you ever felt so relaxed. It went along well with the reminiscing of the past and despite the fact that tomorrow was a big day and you should probably be nervous, you weren’t. Not in the slightest, more like the opposite. You were giddy even; it dawned to you that nothing in your life had ever felt so right.

No moment in your life offered you such serenity to your heart, your shoulders free of any weight, body light as air.

“Just taking a trip down the memory lane. Thinking about how lucky I was to be dropped at your circus of all circuses of the world,” you grinned at Clint, your tone remaining completely serious.

Because you were being serious – words couldn’t express how grateful for everything that led to this moment you were. How grateful you were to your brother for watching over you, making sure you would always see the light of a new day, guiding you when you found yourself in a dark.

Clint didn’t react beside his fingers twitching and you knew he was giving you the chance to say what you needed to say.

“About how you taught me pretty much everything I know. About how while I might not be the best person in the world, my brother, who is the best brother ever, made me into a decent person and I owe him everything I am. And how I should probably feel guilty for tying myself to another guy who just swept in and whisked away your little sister.”

Clint stared at you, gulping as his eyes gradually filled with tears. You found yourself in a very cheesy moment, bordering on absurd and it was almost too much to handle – but Clint took a deep breath, cleared his throat and swallowed his tears.

“Well, that bastard did steal my greatest life achievement with way too little effort,” he remarked, voice cracking slightly, the image of him causing your eyes to burn as well even if his words made you both tear up and burst out laughing.

“Dammit, Clint, stop making me laugh and cry at the same time…”

“You started it!” he pointed his index finger at you accusingly, taking a large sip of his beer to drown his sentiment. “But for the record, you should not feel guilty. It’s not like you’re leaving me.”

“I know, but-“

“And if you were, you’d be leaving me in good hands.”

“That’s true, Natasha does have a grip on you and might keep you outta trouble-“

“She’s the one who gets me into trouble half of the time!” Clint cried out in protest and you would have argued if it wasn’t the truth.

But before he had met her, Clint was able to make up his own trouble just fine – he was more than half of a reason why while doing a bit of trapeze yourself, you also grew interested in medical care. Because who else than the little sister should treat her big brother’s wounds when he got too crazy?

“In all seriousness, I’m proud of you, Twinkie,” he said sincerely, one corner of his lips raised in a lopsided smile. “You’re entirely entitled to have your own life and if there’s one guy in this whole damn world I’m willing to trust to have you… well, I guess it’s that big blond dumbass.”

“He can be a bit dumb of ass occasionally, can’t he?” you mused lovingly. “I guess it’s right what they say… we do pick our partners similar to our parents, maybe not only in looks. I didn’t really have a dad, I had you, so…”

Clint sighed, smile widening, before it slipped from his face as he caught up on the not-so-hidden insult.

“Hey!”

You couldn’t but laugh at his shocked expression, accidently spilling a splosh of beer on the sand.

“Just… maybe make sure that even married, you still find time to hang out with your big dumb of ass brother every once in a while?” Clint suggested, sounding surprisingly vulnerable.

Your whole demander softened, a little pang of guilt stinging in your heart as he took your words too seriously – and at his worry.

“Clint… I will always find time for my amazing brother.”

“Well, you’re marrying a pretty amazing guy too, so, you know, I understand the dilemma…”

You snorted when he seemed to genuinely fawn over your future husband, shaking your head before downing the rest of your drink.

“As amazing as Steve might be – and gosh, he is, don’t get me started – you still own a pretty big chunk of my heart.”

“Good. You are a Barton at heart,” Clint hummed, pretending that a few tears didn’t roll down his cheeks, leaning towards you as his expression once again grew serious.

Your chest tightened. Oh no. He was gonna say something to make you cry too – as if you already weren’t at verge of crying, emotions bubbling under the surface.

“Clint-“ you warned him silently, but he spoke up anyway and you gulped, bracing yourself.

“Just… whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are. Not a perfect housewife, but a good woman.”

That was not what you were prepared for, as touching as the sentiment was.

You burst out laughing, head thrown back, hands clutching at your stomach as it actually hurt with the sudden clench. Tears did spring from your eyes, a perfect blend of touched and infinitely amused at your brother’s words.

“Har, har, that’s what I get from trying to speak from heart…” Clint muttered grumpily and you willed yourself to calm your hitching breaths as you looked at him, the pout of his mouth causing you to cackle again.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just… I am moved, I really am. Thank you. But me? A perfect housewife? And you realize I’m marrying Steve Rogers, right? The epitome of a good man? He would probably threaten to sock me in a jaw if I tried to change into something I’m not just for his sake and actually sock me in my jaw if I turned into a bad woman.”

Clint’s eyebrows jumped, a smirk appearing on his face. “That’s a lot of punching.”  

“My thoughts exactly,” you agreed, reaching for another can, pausing when a thought occurred to you. “Just so we’re clear, I might turn into a bit of a housewife when we have kids, alright? And I want to be a good wife, a good partner to Steve, which is what I’m trying to do even now.”

“I mean, yeah, sure, wouldn’t expect anything less. But… just promise me you’ll stay you and that you’ll keep giving him a run for his money, keep him on his toes a bit,” Clint shrugged with a grin, drawing another chuckle from you.

You saw his point – and you fully intended to keep Steve on his toes. You had a good reason to believe that your future husband enjoyed when you did.

“Oh Clinton… I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

He nodded contentedly, picking up another beer and raising it for a toast, his can clinking with yours.

“Cheers to that!”

A comfortable silence settled between the two of you then, a quiet joy wrapped in one moment; the sun ending its quest, the warm breeze in your hair, the waves whispering of a journey you were about to take off to. And all that with a wordless comforting presence of your family, ready to offer you a shelter if a storm rocked your boat and the wind caused you to lose course.

As your mind wandered, you had to laugh at yourself – it was almost as if you were raised by pirates and not circus performers. Perhaps it was the little bit of free cheeky spirit these life journeys had in common what brought the metaphor to your mind. It was a bit like working with the Avengers too, always on a road, adrenaline in your veins even as you mostly stayed on the jet, ready to assist them… yet here you were pondering that maybe, you were yearning for settling down a bit more.

“Cap wouldn’t punch you anyway, right?” Clint remarked, breaking the silence and you blinked yourself back into reality, taking a moment to figure out what he was talking about.

Oh. Right. Steve punching you if you changed yourself significantly for his benefit.

You smiled softly, heart swelling in affection when the answer to that question appeared obvious.

“No, he wouldn’t.”

“Good. He’d try once and I’d put an arrow straight between his eyes,” Clint promised darkly, almost causing you to choke at the sudden violent note. He quickly fixed it with a ramble, lightening the atmosphere yet again. “Minus training of course. He’s allowed to try in order to improve your hand-to-hand. Not that he would ever land a hand on you anyway. Always so soft on you…” he grinned, seemingly alright with that attitude if not slightly calling the big strong supersoldier out.

Oh you could be cheeky too alright if that was what your brother wanted.

“That you know of.”

A confused huh was the only reaction you got – that and a puzzled look.

“He’s always soft on me,” you repeated Clint’s words, turning to him, lips slowly spreading in a wicked smirk. “That you know of.”

Clint’s brows furrowed for a short moment and then his features twisted in a disgusted grimace, face growing a tint crimson.

“Gross!” he complained, more blood rushing to his cheeks. “You know what, I changed my mind. We’re leaving. You’re not marrying him. I’m kidnapping the bride and never returning her, locking her somewhere far far away-“

You snorted at his indignation, your grin undoubtedly battling the one of the Cheshire cat.

“No will do, Bobo. I’m marrying Steve and you can’t stop me.”

This time, Clint didn’t even protest, eyes misted over, nose still scrunched at the mental image, lamenting as the night slowly settled over the paradise-like island.

“Oh god, please help, I can’t unsee it, can’t unhear it--- ew-”

Your laughter was carried away by the breeze as Clint seemed to be unable to look at you.

You swung your beer around, thinking that yes – nothing quite ever felt so right as being here in this moment. Relaxing with your brother, teasing him relentlessly and counting down hours to when you’d say ‘I do’ to the only man who in your eyes ever battled the mantle of the best man in the universe.

In one unending moment You fall within my reach I'm close enough to whisper Hold on to me Hold on to me

You weren’t sure what time it was when you snuck into the beach house, one of few, which had been wisely chosen to be occupied by you and Steve only. You attempted to be quiet and liked to think you succeeded, in your even barely tipsy state, but your effort turned out to be in vain as you found Steve perched against headboard of your bed; reading a book, thin white t-shirt and sleep shorts on display as the soft sheet had been kicked away, scrunched up by his feet.

He was gorgeous – he was gorgeous and yours, a momentary picture perfect of peace, appearing to feel just as light as you did and somehow the dullness of the moment, just him relaxing in bed with a good read as you came home… it was more alluring than one would think.

Steve looked up from the book when you wavered in the doorway, soft lopsided smile spreading on his face.

God, that smile. It might be over two years since you saw it for the first time, but it could still make you weak in your knees.

And somehow, it was now even more charming now than the day you met, more tender than just before you kissed for the first time, sweeter than when he proposed.

“Hey sweetheart,” he greeted you, appreciative gaze roaming your figure and the little too much skin on display – something you regretted when the warm sunrays had bid you goodbye, raising goosebumps. And Steve, the attentive man he was, noticed, his smile earning a teasing edge. “You look a bit cold in there.”

You resisted the urge to stick your tongue out.

“And you look pretty cosy in there. Thought you’d be either asleep or with Bucky.”

Steve shrugged, not letting go of his unfinished chapter just yet, knowing you had a routine to go through before joining him.

“Maybe I missed you. Maybe Bucky is an old man and needs his sleep.”

You chuckled, not rising to the bait – you knew what would follow if you dared to say Steve was just as old. Not that you would complain about Steve trying to convince you about the opposite. You could never.

“Well, I bet he still made you a promise of breaking a bone of mine or two if I ever hurt you. He’ll find energy for that, centenarian or not,” you hummed nonchalantly as you bounced off the doorframe, heading to the bathroom and leaving Steve puzzled by your remark.

“How did you know?” he called out after you, endearingly confused.

“That’s what big brothers do, love!”

Short silence was your answer as you reached for your toothbrush and begun your nighty ritual.

Steve must have figure out what did it mean for him, considering you had a protective brother of your own, because a moment later, his half-amused “noted!” reached your ears.

You chuckled and shook your head, smile spread on your face which you didn’t think could be erased as long as you were in this paradise – free of worry, full of joy. And why wouldn’t you be? You were about to marry one of the smartest, kindest, sassiest and most beautiful men that ever walked the Earth. What was not to love?

You couldn’t but let your mind wander again; if you had only known the day you met, right from that moment, that you’d end up here…. well. It felt a little surreal, knowing that by this time tomorrow, you’d be Steve’s wife; then again, Steve’s life story was surreal enough on its own.

Who would have thought that the stubborn handsome man in the ridiculous suit and you, equally stubborn about you at least checking on the wound upon half-dragging him to a quiet corner in a middle of a battlefield, would grow so close?

It hadn’t been simple. Steve wasn’t the most open guy and while friendly enough, he wasn’t exactly offering his heart on his sleeve, not to strangers. But it hadn’t been too hard, once you were meeting on regular basis. Piece by piece he revealed his true colours and soon after he did… you started falling; hard and fast.

Not necessarily swooning, not on the outside at least; you were a professional, after all. The safety and the well-being of the team was your priority.

It was just too bad – or the best thing, you supposed – that Steve had the same goal as you with one significant difference; as far as he was concerned, the responsibility to look after his team sometimes excluded him.

Oh, was he wrong about that.

And boy, did you let him know you thought so. You still kept proving him wrong to this day and was planning on nurturing his own acknowledgement of his self-worth till your last breath…

“Get your ass in here, Steve!” you called out after him, slowly losing patience as you had tried asking politely the previous two times with no result but being dismissed.

The change of tone and language made his head snap to you from where he was talking to Sam, an offended scowl on his face.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Captain. Don’t be a stubborn jerk and get your ass in here so I can clean your cuts.”

A few months ago, you wouldn’t have been able to talk to him like that; to the great legend, Captain America. At least you certainly wouldn’t have called him his first name and maybe, just maybe, you’d be a little less crass. But now? He might be Captain America still, a hero who deserved all the good things for the sacrifices he made for the world’s safety, but first and foremost, he was just Steve to you.

A colleague, a teammate, a friend. You might not be a part of the team per se, not the way Clint, Natasha or Steve were, but you still belonged. And you were all friends.

Friends irritated each other sometimes and frankly, Steve was often battling with Tony for the mantle of the most infuriating one.

Friends also needed to call each other out on their bullshit by any means necessary when the time was right and now the time was as good as any.

Usually, Steve slipped through your fingers, because he was a supersoldier and the others weren’t, so their injuries took precedence; today, it was only Natasha, Sam and Steve, and the captain was the only one whom you hadn’t checked yet. And you knew there were things to check, the trickle of blood from his eyebrow probably the least of your concerns.

“I wouldn’t argue with her, Steve. She can be pretty stubborn. Clint wouldn’t stop complaining about it,” Natasha supported you from the pilot seat and you fought yourself so you wouldn’t grin at her in victory – it would only irritated Steve further. “She’s almost as bull-headed as you are.”

At that, your smile would have slipped. But honestly, she wasn’t wrong.

“Don’t I know it,” Steve grunted, sparing Sam another glance and when the Falcon himself beckoned to you as well, wordlessly asking Steve to get himself checked up.

The captain sighed irately, but made his way back to the separate and well-lit space of your examination room.

He didn’t try to hide his annoyance – in fact, he squared his shoulders and his steps sounded a bit loud for anyone to believe it was a coincidence. Also, the scowl of exasperation never left his otherwise handsome face.

“This is completely unnecessary. A stupid waste of time,” he hissed as he walked past you and you took a deep calming breath, exchanging an eyeroll with Sam before you disappeared from sight.

“Captain. I respect you and your position, but you say one more time that my job here is unnecessary and stupid, you’ll be looking for a new medic,” you retorted as he stripped the upper part of his uniform angrily, revealing his white-tank-top-clad torso.

Well, at least the fabric used to be white – now a blood stain the size of both of your palms was seeping into the material at Steve’s right side, gushing from what definitely appeared to be a knife wound.

You were gonna murder him one of those days... unless he got killed himself first.

“Seriously?!”

“It’s just a graze-” he started to argue but you cut him off when you tore the fabric away. He winced as some of the dried blood had acted as a glue, having stuck the cloth into the wound, and now was violently ripped off.

“Tr to insinuate again that I’m incompetent at recognizing what’s just a graze, Steve. I dare you. This is a cut wide and deep enough for stitches! Haven’t you had the serum, you could have been bleeding out to death on this table!”

“But I do have it-“

“Or for fuck’s SAKE, stop being a baby and let me treat the bloody gash in your right mesogastric area! The serum accelerates your healing, but it doesn’t make you invincible OR immortal as far as I know--- Jesus fucking Christ-!”

He bristled, taking a deep breath to fight back, but he never got the chance, because you started working and the words died in his throat. Surprisingly, inspecting the damage, poking around a knife wound that might have already begin to seal itself thanks to Erskine’s formula but had not been just a graze hurt and coincidentally, it pulled the rug from under his feet.

To his credit, Steve barely even hissed at the pain.

“Just so you know, I’ll be using the disinfection that stings worse,” you noted, voice dripping venom, because you were genuinely done with Steve’s bullshit.

You lied through your teeth though. You wouldn’t. No matter how infuriating Steve was and how difficult he made your life – causing you to fall for his stupid martyr ass and pine after him among other things – you would never purposely hurt him.

And he must have sensed that, because your remark didn’t earn you a murderous glare or a retort – much to your surprise.

In fact, Steve fell entirely quiet, watching you work without protest, not even objecting when you applied enough local anaesthetic to knock out an elephant and sewed the tissue together so it healed easier. He let you inspect the rest of his torso and bandage his ribs, vigorously shaking his head when you asked him if he was injured anywhere below the waist.

He observed you as you kept an eye on his face for any minute sign of pain he’d be hiding, but all you could see were his irises, startlingly bright blue, pools of honesty and something you had trouble decoding. He seemed… humbled almost. It silenced the anger inside you, the flames of rage – and fear for his well-being, if you were being honest with yourself – turning into a barely smouldering pile of ash.

When you moved on to his head, gently pushing away the strands which obscured the gash on his eyebrow, his eyelids slid shut. You knew how unpleasant facial injuries were, especially around one’s eyes and so you took care to be extra careful as you cleaned the wound and the area surrounding it, most definitely not using the stingy disinfectant.

Not that Steve could get an infection as far as you knew. It was more force of a habit than anything else… and it made you feel better. He had this idiotic mask of an invincible hero he put up sometimes and it drove you insane, because you knew he was only human, a beautiful kind soul, but god, could he be an ass.

“Almost done,” you whispered soothingly when you noticed his jaw tightening as you had to apply a bit more pressure to get a tiny piece of gravel from the cut. You certainly didn’t want that to stay under the newly healing skin.

The moment you retreated with the bloody gauze, Steve’s eyes were back on you, wide and regretful.

“I’m sorry,” he offered quietly, a genuine apology that sounded almost absurd after you two were hissing at each other like damn hellcats. “I didn’t mean to--- I’m sorry for being rude and ungrateful. Thank you for taking care of my injuries.”

One glance into those deep irises and benign hesitant smile and you were done for. How could you stay mad at him? Well, you were still mad at him for the absolute disregard of his own health, but… well. You also understood he felt like he needed to stay strong for the team and put them first and how he actually was in pain.

Pretty much everyone was a pain in the ass when in pain.

You sighed as you searched for few band-aid strips to cover the cut.  

“It’s alright, Steve. I’m used to old men being grumpy and not meaning things they say when they are,” you offered lightly and he hung his head with a chuckle, clearly not taking the old man remark personally – and understanding you were referring to your brother.

His smile was wider when he looked up again. “You shouldn’t have to be used to it.”

You shrugged, carefully slipping two fingers under his chin to angle his face so you could stick the strips over the wound.

“Well, I deserve it sometimes. I don’t mean to… to be overbearing and make you feel like you’re incompetent or something,” you added hesitantly, worrying your teeth over your lower lip as the tone you’d been handling him with caught up with you. Perhaps you could have been nicer.

You smoothened the stripes of band-aid, gulping as you felt Steve’s gaze boring into your face while you continued.

“I know you’re not incompetent. You’re very capable, you’re the best. It’s just… I still--- worry- for all of you. For the full-time Earth’s mightiest heroes. Silly, huh?” you muttered self-depreciatingly and when your eyes met, you were startled by the intensity he watched you with as you laid your fears bare in front of him, leaving you vulnerable. You swiftly looked away and dropped your hands. “Here, almost as good as new.”

A lump grew in your throat as you stripped your gloves, tossing them into the bin. Did you reveal too much? Didn’t it sound silly indeed as you said it out loud? Yes, you were all friendly with each other, but you were supposed to be a professional, focused on your task, not getting distracted by-

-by Steve gently grasping your wrist, causing your heart to skip a startled beat. Definitely not getting weak in the knees when you shot him a surprised glance and he just… brought your hand to his face, lips briefly skimming over your knuckles.

Jesus Christ, Lord have mercy with me.

“Don’t you ever apologize for caring. Don’t stop caring. Silly is the last thing I’d call it.”

Your cheeks felt like set on fire, stomach fluttering as well as your heart. You could feel the ghost of Steve’s lips on your skin, sending your heartrate sky-high, causing your head to spin a bit, your body hot all over.

Did he really—did he just-? And did it mean that… did it mean anything at all?

He let go of your hand, thumb brushing over your knuckles, but held your gaze adamantly as he gave you a sad smile and rose to his feet, clearly ready to leave.

You, on the hand, stood there frozen, mind racing.

Why had he done that? Was he really just trying to express gratitude and say sorry for his previous behaviour? Because that was not the way it was supposed to be done, because such tenderness left you entirely bewildered. Was he trying to tell you he was somehow interested in something more than friendship? Was he just high from the anaesthetic, mind you, local one that was not supposed to mess with his brain? Was there any sign of a head injury you missed?

“Thank you, again,” he whispered softly, moving to sidestep you and your hand instinctively shot out, latching onto his forearm… gently.

You gulped, heart stuttering when he glanced at you, puzzled.

One part of you wanted to sink into the floor in embarrassment at your unwitting reaction. Another part of you observed him so closely that you would swear that there was another emotion in his eyes and it was neither apology nor gratitude. You wistfully hoped for longing, the same longing you felt when you were near him, sometimes distant and barely there, other times so acute it hurt.

With your stomach somersaulting in doubt, you willed yourself to raise your free hand slowly, purposely giving him a chance – Lord, please, don’t let him take it – to stop you before your palm settled on his cheek.

You were certain you experienced a small cardiac arrest when Steve not only didn’t avoid the touch, but actually leaned into it, gaze fixed on your face, eyes brighter and softer than you ever remembered seeing. Your gaze flickered to his mouth deliberately, throat turning dry. Too daring? He kissed you knuckles, surely you could reciprocate some affection?

Swallowing against your dry throat, you leaned in before you could change your mind and dropped the briefest peck to his lips, causing his eyelids to flutter shut.

Oh no. Oh no no no no, you totally crossed a line-

You went to retreat your hands from him, but the second you moved, his eyes were snapping open, hand covering yours on his face to keep it there, the other cradling your face and then there was a warm and soft sensation on your own lips as he seized them with his.

Your mind went completely blank save two single thoughts: Steve is kissing me. I really like that.

A small sound escaped you, a blend of surprise and contentment, breaking you from your trance and turning you into an actual participant of the pleasant and entirely unexpected activity.

You drew in a small breath, head spinning from the scent of Steve’s shampoo, disinfectant, sweat and something you couldn’t quite put your finger on and not caring.

He tasted faintly of blood, but otherwise was nothing but sweet as his lips caressed yours, gently tugging at your lower lip and then the upper, the lightest graze of teeth and tease of tongue, finger pressing into your jaw to pull you closer, thumb stroking your cheek.

You whimpered involuntarily when his lips parted from yours, soothing as they returned for a short peck, to drop a brief kiss to the corner of your mouth, to brush your cheek.

Your name was a breathy whisper between the two of you, barely audible as all you could hear was your heartbeat pulsing frantically in your ears, growing aware of your fingers clutching at Steve’s still unzipped armour and nearly sinking in his hair, his hot breath tickling your skin.

You didn’t dare to open your eyes – what if you dreamed it up? What if you looked at him and saw regret – it didn’t feel like he would be regretting it, but… still. Insecurity tugged at your mind as it slowly cleared from the literally breath-taking kiss.

Steve repeated your name with urgency that was unheard of, the single word sounding almost as a plea.

“Please say something.”

Oh.

You blinked your eyes open, surprised to be met with his searching gaze, a minute furrow of his brows. It seemed you weren’t the only one whose mind was being the worst of one’s enemies.

Perhaps your brain was being stupid. Perhaps you both wanted this. Perhaps you felt exactly the same.

As you forced yourself to move, fingers actually slipping into his hair to caress his nape, Steve inhaled shakily, shoulders slumping. The tinniest of smiles tugged at his mouth, tempting red and minutely swollen from the kiss; you had to resist the urge to just taste it again.

Instead, you licked your lips only, savouring the previous sensations, smiling unwittingly.

“That’s… uhm, that’s a really creative new way of driving me crazy.”

Steve’s eyebrows rose along with one corner of his mouth, relief written all over his face.

“Oh? There are other ways in which I’m driving you crazy? Because I couldn’t tell...”

You narrowed your eyes, but you didn’t think he bought you unconvincing act of being irritated with him at such remark.

“Don’t push it, Captain,” you warned him, but your treacherous mouth kept curling up in a smile, your body still buzzing with aftershocks of the kiss.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Uh-huh… s-sure,” you stuttered briefly as his thumb caressed your cheek, bright smiling eyes watching only inches from your face – and yet it felt like he was too far.

“You’re driving me crazy too, you know,” he noted in a breathy voice, causing you to gulp as his gaze flickered to your mouth, clearly implying how you do so… among other ways… like your stubbornness practically matching his.

“Oh really? I do? I couldn’t tell…”

He chuckled, his hand slipping to your nape, soft tickle of his fingers making you squirm.

“I’m gonna kiss you again now if that’s okay,” he whispered, not waiting for your permission and erasing the distance between your lips again.

Still, you whispered your approval to his mouth.

“So okay…”

Long moments later when Sam called out to warn you that you’d be landing soon, you said yes to the grumpy old man’s request to let him treat you dinner.

Oh if you only knew by then how far you’d come…

Lost in thought, goofy smile on your face, you exited the bathroom, ready to snuggle your future husband… and to fully take the opportunity to make love, last night before you officially became his and he became yours.

You had a brief second to register that the bed was empty, your heart skipping a started and disappointed beat. The second you stepped out though, you were literally swept off your feet.

A yelp erupted from your throat as you found yourself with no ground under your feet and high in the air, one of Steve’s arms under your knees, the other under your back. Your hands frantically gripped at the nearest firm point, Steve’s shoulder and arm as you finally realized what the hell happened and was met with a cheeky grin and sparkling blue of his eyes.

That traitor was waiting just by the door to ambush you! Why?

You slapped his very much bare shoulder playfully, hissing a curse, not unaware of the heat radiating of him and seeping into your skin.

“You jerk! You almost gave me a heart attack!” you complained, but he didn’t even have the decency to look apologetic.

“Sorry, sweetheart.”

“No, you’re not.”

Steve grinned wider, shrugging and pulling you closer to his torso, nuzzling your temple and dropping a placatory kiss there.

“Still looking a little cold.”

“No, I look like this because you scared me,” you emphasized, vainly trying to resist the seduction; a mixture of playfulness, sweetness and blatant display of strength as he still held you with ease. It was hard not to be temped. “And you look like you’re awfully warm, parading here without a shirt.”

“Well, I’d call us even since you’re parading around in these absolutely sinful shorts. Makes me hot. I can warm you up,” he mumbled to your skin, lips moving to your ear, causing you to shudder.

How was it so easy for him to make you all hot and bothered? You guessed that at least, as he said, it made you even... it wasn’t difficult to get him riled up either.

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Driving you crazy?” Steve offered, sounding awfully delighted at the idea and you only melted into him further at the reminiscence of your first kiss and what followed.

“Always,” you confirmed, deadly serious, but you couldn’t help the smile tugging at the corners of your lips or the mewl that escaped you when his teeth grazed the shell of your ear, warm breath tickling the sensitive skin of your neck.

“But you love it.”

“Uh-huh…”

“I can live with that with that then,” he said, stalking to the bed determinately. “Now let me drive you so crazy you can barely speak and the only sound you’re making is whimpering my name.”

He all but tossed you on the bed, a yelp of his name in fact erupting from your throat, followed by a fit of giggles that only died when his mouth seized yours, his lips only leaving when heading south to indeed drive you crazy.

And yes; you loved it.

And you loved him too.

In one unending moment I fall within your reach My song a sweet surrender Hold on to me Hold on to me

Before the girls could steal you from him, Steve decided – with your enthusiastic agreement – that you should once again try how it felt to make some morning lovin’ outside marriage. With the ceremony planned for the late afternoon, you had plenty of time; and needless to say, it was bliss. Then again, you believed that marital sex with Steve would be just as delightfully pleasant, thank you very much.

Then, it was a whirlwind – make up, hair, dress, a tear or two spilled when you saw the result in the mirror.

More tears spilled when you glanced out of the window and saw the tastefully and modestly decorated arch, the path created by few scattered rose petals, the male part of your almost family sans Clint in the suits, effectively hiding Steve from you; and you from his just in case, because no one wanted any bad luck.

Your staring was interrupted when your brother went to pick you up to lead you down the aisle.

Upon entering the room and setting his gaze on you, he promptly looked away with a sniffle. It both warmed your heart and made you laugh as did his remark.

“Nope, not giving you to him. In fact, I’m never giving you to anyone. No one will ever be worthy, so I’m keeping you.”

“Hush, Clinton, you’ll still have me,” Natasha winked at him as he took a deep calming breath before carefully eyeing you again.

Clearly, it hadn’t done the job, because few tears still found their way down his cheeks.

“You’re a knock-out, sis,” he sputtered hastily, but no less honestly – clearly moved to tears.

And yet… you snorted at his choice of words and he rolled his eyes, quick to compliment your beauty instead.

You wouldn’t have it any other way though, even appreciating his first remark more for it came from the bottom of his heart rather than from what convention required.

Embracing you carefully in fear he would mess up the work of art his wife and other girls created, he held you in his arms for a moment, as you retuned the hug, clutching at his suit with a little too force. From the corner of your eye, you noticed the bridesmaids clearing the room.

“It’s not like I’m leaving you, Bobo,” you hummed with a smile, throwing his own words from last night at him.

And you weren’t leaving him; your heart swelled with love for your brother, your father figure, your long-life friend.

With sniffle, he let go of you and looked you up and down, proud smile spreading on his lips.

“It’s okay. If you are, I have the best spy in the world for a wife, we’ll drag your ass back home.”

You just slapped his chest playfully and took a deep breath – it was time. Clint grasped your hand firmly then, elbows interlocking, and went to step out just a moment after the bridesmaids left to join the groomsmen.

Well-aware everyone was going to stare and that Steve awaited you at the end of the aisle to marry you, your legs were shaking minutely as the magnitude of the event finally dawned to you.

“Getting second thoughts now?” Clint teased you, eliciting a chuckle from you and shake of your head.

What a question.

“No. Just… please don’t let me fall,” you muttered to him, entirely serious and grateful for your choice of footwear – simple flats hidden by the long flowing skirt of your dress. Better chance of not spraining your ankle on your wedding day.

“Never.”

Clint squeezed your hand under his warm palm and you took a deep breath, stepping into the doorway. Soft melody welcomed you, your very own wedding march Bruce was playing on a mouth organ – something you had previously had no idea he was capable of.  

Looking up from your skirt, you feasted your eyes on the company and the beautiful scenery for only a regretfully short moment, grateful for Sam’s Redwing programmed to record and take photos.

Your gaze instinctively searched the small crowd instead, until it fell under the arch where three men stood.

One of them was Sam himself, having obtained a licence so he could be your wedding registrar; he looked positively dashing. So did Bucky, who patted his best friend dressed in his old-fashioned green captain uniform on the shoulder, his smirk visible even from tens feet away as he stepped back.

Naturally, your gaze lingered on Steve, your feet acting of their own accord and following your brother’s lead.

Gosh, your future husband was the most handsome and absolutely hottest specimen to ever walk the Earth. Hair combed neatly to one side and in his old army uniform, he truly looked like the gentleman from another era he was and yet, he undeniably belonged exactly where he was. His eyes were bright and blue just like the sky, lips slightly parting before curling up into a brilliant smile which somehow still carried the tenderness he treated you with when he felt particularly affectionate.

He must have uttered something under his breath, because Bucky pressed his lips together as if he was holding back laugh. The absolutely best best man, ladies and gentleman.

Your found yourself smiling just as widely, a stray tear tickling the corner of your eye and you had to fight the sudden urge to ditch Clint in order to gather your skirts and run the rest of the way just to jump into Steve’s arms.

But in reality, there was no rush – here, on the damn island Tony rented, there was so much time that one short walk meant nothing in comparison.

“Alright, maybe I’ll give you to him,” Clint whispered, making you bite the inside of your cheek so you would cackle.

Leave it to your brother he would find Steve Rogers so fine he’d be willing to give you out just to have him become a part of your family.

One corner of Steve’s lips twitched in amusement – supersoldier hearing didn’t miss the remark then. Good. Then Bucky heard it too and you had a witness just in case Clint would change his mind. Again.

Finally, with your heart almost in your throat, you reached the end of the aisle, Clint gently putting your hand into Steve’s… without letting go.

“You be nice to her, Cap. And I mean really nice, you hear? Or else-“

“Hush,” you hissed good-naturedly in your brother’s direction, winking at him before you returned your gaze to Steve. “Hey there, handsome.”

Steve chuckled under his breath when Clint stepped back. He returned the greeting with soft ‘hey there, beautiful’ and then proceeded to lift your joined hands, brushing your knuckles with his lips – just like the day you shared your first kiss.

Well now you truly found yourself on the verge of crying. And Lord, you wanted to kiss him so much-

Sam cleared his throat loudly, casting you both a meaningful look as if he could read your mind and wanted to remind you that there were a few things to go through before that could happen.

Ugh. Formalities. Just let me kiss him…

Steve licked his lips – the audacity! – and turned, lightly tugging at your hand so you both faced your friend who held a little leather book open, beckoning towards the guests: Bucky and Natasha, the best man and the best woman, Clint, Bruce, Tony, Vision, Wanda, Sharon, Pepper. Just your closest friends and family.

Sam cleared his throat again.

“Alright. We all know why we gathered here today. To get these two amazing people married, so they could officially become a special team within our team.”

You grinned, peripherally noticing Steve eyeing you as well. Team indeed.

“This is the part where I would ask all of you, bride and groom included, to speak up now if you’re aware of anything standing in the way of this wedlock or to remain silent forever. But frankly, if you have something to say, right now is the perfect time to keep it to yourself. Just let these lovebirds get married…”

Muffled laughter and giggles erupted from your group. Honestly, you wouldn’t say it better. You noticed Clint shifting and Natasha forcefully holding his hand down; you bit down on your lip so you wouldn’t laugh and sent her a grateful smile instead. The best maid of honour ever.

“Good, that’s what I wanted to hear, folks. We have the rings, correct? Great. Just so you know, these two saps asked me to read one vow which they are making to each other, because they didn’t trust themselves to say theirs individually without bursting into tears. So now it’s left to me to cry instead. Thanks for that.”

Your cheeks were honestly starting to hurt from smiling so wide, but tears prickled in your eyes acutely just at the thought of the vow you agreed on. You spent countless hours thinking about what you wanted to say and realized that your vow would be too long and that you would in fact start crying and that you could never name all the things you loved Steve for. It had been a relief to find out that Steve shared the sentiment and the deal was made.

Natasha and Bucky dutifully laid the rings on the pillow Wanda’s powers held levitating by your and Steve’s side – not without Bucky finding a split second to compliment your appearance and earning a brief smirk from Steve.

“I know,” Steve uttered and you wondered if there was a dare going around as to who would make you burst out laughing first.

This was your wedding dammit. You could be at least a bit a lady and remain collected.

Hardly.

“With this ring,” Sam started, breathing in and out and you knew you already lost, first tear rolling down your cheek as you gazed into Steve’s inviting eyes, “I give myself to you without giving up myself. With this ring, I surrender to you for I have faith you understand the value of wielding such power and for I deem you worthy of it. With this ring, I promise to love you, to respect you and to support you to be your best self as I trust you to do the same for me, for us.”

You blinked away the waterfalls, reaching almost blindly for Steve’s ring and with fingers trembling – with giddiness, not nerves – you somehow succeeded at slipping it on his left ring finger.

“I do,” you whispered, your voice cracking even in such simple sentence and the watery smile Steve graced you with made your ribcage feel too small for your swelling heart.

Fingers equally clumsy, he slipped a ring on you as well, shoulders squaring as if in pride.

“I do,” he said firmly, the damp path down his left cheek only adding severity to his vow.

“You may-- uhm, okay, you may kiss the bride, your wife--- I mean, Mrs. Rogers. You may kiss the groom, your husband…” Sam mumbled under his breath until he didn’t, because Steve pulled you in for a kiss the same moment Sam said the first ‘may’ and incidentally, the same moment you practically threw yourself at Steve.

Laughter and whistles erupted from the group of your friends as Steve bend you back dramatically, the determined press of his lips to yours not at all disrupted by the change of angle, claiming your mouth in ways that made you shudder and stirred flames in your belly.

Years and years later, you’d recall that kiss and realized an amazing thing; how it felt just like your first kiss, your last one, and every single one in between.

With you still practically horizontal, Steve’s crinkling eyes met yours, delighted smile on his kiss-swollen lips.

“I love you, Mrs. Rogers,” he hummed, adding a cheeky grin. “You’re stuck with me now.”

“The horror,” you muttered back teasingly, pulling at his nape, demanding another kiss, your own declaration whispered to his mouth. “I love you too, Mr. Rogers.”

And you did. Gosh, you did.

S.R. masterlist

(divider by firefly-graphics)

Well. This turned out SO DIFFERENTLY than I anticipated and SO MUCH LONGER. If you feel like leaving feedback, I’ll be grateful. If not, well. *shurgs*

Excuse me while I go and continue dreaming of ONE fictional man. Ugh. Anyway.

Thank you for reading!

And once again, thanks to WIYBUPT for hosting and for just being awesome in general :)

[calamity-bean]

emotional ramblings re: american gods 2.07

I told myself I was gonna make a post with my thoughts on 2.05 first, and I still will, but I am absolutely bursting with thoughts and feelings and emotions about 2.07 and I can’t just keep them in. At the very least, I have to gush a little about Sweeney and his character development and his relationships in this ep. 

Major spoilers from the leaked 2.07, as well as some minor details from the novel for the sake of comparison.

Do you ever just feel so proud of a fictional character. So overwhelmed with pride and love and bittersweet affection that your chest feels a little bit tight because of it? I am so emotional about Mad Sweeney right now, in every way. I’m so staggered by Pablo’s performance this episode, and I really hope it’s not his final episode, I feel it’s likely not his final episode and that, somehow, Sweeney will come back, but if he doesn’t, what a stunning note to go out on, for both actor and character. I think this might be my favorite episode of the whole series so far. 

With Sweeney’s turmoil and sorrow and confusion boiling over, we really got to see his eponymous "madness” in this ep in a way that season 1 really never showed us. And I don’t just mean in the flashbacks, either, although I loved every one of those. We really finally get the sense that contemporary Sweeney is not just bitter and jaded, but that his mind, his memory, his entire sense of identity is fundamentally clouded and that a lot of his pain and aggression is rooted in the fact that he’s so empty of past, of memory, and of purpose. He’s been clinging to this idea of owing a battle because that provides him some measure of identity and purpose, but god, he was so much more, and has been becoming so much more over the course of the series.

I loved him finally rebelling against Wednesday. I loved his conversations with Salim, and especially every scene between Sweeney and Shadow. Since I knew what was coming, it was like a punch to the gut seeing how Shadow acted in their first scene together: slapping Sweeney on the shoulder almost like old buddies, being so concerned when Sweeney starts to fall apart... Like, these two have not exactly been best friends, but there were moments of tragic camaraderie between them throughout this ep. It says a lot about Shadow’s character, of course, that he’s fundamentally a good person who’s naturally going to be concerned when someone looks unwell, even if that someone is an asshole; it likewise says a lot about Salim’s character that, despite all the crass little comments Sweeney’s thrown at him, he, too, is clearly concerned and tries to help. One thing I really enjoyed about Samedi and Brigitte in 2.05 was that we finally got to see Sweeney among friends, among people who actually like him, desire him, enjoy his company. It’s just SUCH a far cry from the treatment we’ve usually seen him get, especially from Wednesday. I daresay Shadow and Salim don’t exactly like Sweeney, but they (and Bilquis and Ibis) nonetheless treat him with interest, civility, charity, even concern, and it just makes for such a bittersweet change of pace.

And even more remarkable is the vulnerability Sweeney allowed himself with them! Little slivers of vulnerability such as we’ve scarcely seen from him, especially with anyone other than Laura. Sweeney really doesn’t care for Shadow at all, but all episode, he sincerely tries to warn him, to get him away from Wednesday, to keep him out of the line of fire... He’s reaching out with camaraderie in his own way, and it never quite connects, even before the brawl, Shadow and Sweeney never quite reach a moment of true understanding, but their attempts make the end all the more wrenching.

What an ending, too. One thing I really love about how they did this episode is that it made a lot of callbacks to Sweeney’s death in the novel while also drastically changing the circumstances and impact. As in the novel, Shadow finds Sweeney miserable and drunk and in despair beneath a bridge; as in the novel, Sweeney convinces Shadow to give him $20, and he initially intends to use it for whiskey or “a ticket outta this place.” In the novel, he buys the whiskey, and uses it to drink himself senseless in the snow, where he freezes to death. It’s suicide by apathy and despair. Not a direct suicide, perhaps, but it’s clear that this was exactly the sort of ticket outta there that he’d been after all along. In the show, where Laura has repeatedly called him a coward and he has remarked disparagingly on cowardice as well, it would probably be considered a coward’s death, an easy way out.

But not Sweeney of the show. He throws away the money for that whiskey and that ticket outta there. He takes back his autonomy; he remembers who he is. Just as Laura goaded him to do so at the end of 2.05, he walks boldly up and chooses his battle rather than waiting for one to be given to him. And it’s a battle on his own terms, fought for his own sake and to protect what (or should I say who) he cares about -- nothing that benefits Wednesday, nothing to do with Old vs. New Gods. Last week, I predicted the timing and method of his death pretty accurately, and at that time, I hated the thought of poor Shadow being the one to kill him; it made me sick to my stomach to think of, for both their sakes. But the way it actually played out, it was brave, and meaningful, and personal, and bittersweet and thematically resonant and a tragedy and a triumph all at once.

There’s SO much more to talk about in this episode -- all the mythological aspects woven into his backstory, for instance! all the different versions of him, all simultaneously true! -- but I feel like those merit their own posts, separate from this one, which has basically ended up just being “tl;dr: I’M SO SAD BUT SO PROUD OF HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.” 

As for where we go from here... I’m daring to hope Sweeney will be brought back. We know Laura has reached Cairo; we know there was a shot in a promo of her carrying his limp form. We know she has a resurrection potion that only needs two drops of blood infused with love. I don’t know that she loves him yet, but I know that there is a deep connection between them, even if neither of them wants to acknowledge it, and I feel like she will not want him to stay dead. I don’t dare say anything for certain, and I’m terrified that my hopes are all wrong, but I’m not ready to be done with Sweeney, and I feel like the show’s not ready to be done with Sweeney, and that the narrative has provided itself with the means to not be done with Sweeney. So I live in hope.

But what a beautiful episode, what a beautiful character arc, and, final or not, what a terrible, memorable, beautiful death.

[hoeseamatthews]

In The Nick Of Time

A/N: My first fic for this fandom! I’m a lil bit nervous about this, but I still hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,796

Summary: You’re caught in a sticky situation, but luckily for you, an old, familiar face unexpectedly comes to your aid.

“Hey, you get your damn hands offa me! The hell d’you think you are?!”

You struggle to wrench yourself free from the client who’s currently dragging you up the stairs of La Bastille Saloon to his rented room. A drink is what you’d initially agreed to, and he’s obviously taken it too far with the booze tonight, which is a deal-breaker for you. You’ve never taken advantage of a drunk man in any way, shape, or form, and you’re certainly not about to start now.

Of course, when you’d told him you’d prefer to call it a night, and that maybe he’ll see you tomorrow night instead when he’s sober, he didn’t take too kindly to that. Even though he’s absolutely spangled, he still has you in a vice grip, and he holds you even tighter while he fumbles to open the door to his room.

“Shut up an’ keep quiet!”

He slurs, staggering slightly, momentarily releasing the handle on the door and steady himself with his free hand. His grasp is tight enough to bruise your forearm, and despite the fact that you haven’t prevailed in the struggle so far, you persist.

“I told you, it ain’t happenin’! Not tonight!” you fire back, “Someone’s gonna come along an’ put you in your place if you don’t let me go!”

Leering in, he laughs mirthlessly, and you can almost taste the whiskey on his breath, never mind smell it. You grimace, trying to turn away, but he’s got you cornered with nowhere to go.

“Yeah? Who’s gon’ come and help out some whore, huh?”

You’re silent, and for him, that says it all. He manages to get the door ajar, and you cling to the wall in a desperate last effort to get yourself out of the situation, proceeding to make a racket as you do so. He’s bound to overpower you, you already know that, but you want to at least try preventing the inevitable, or maybe give yourself time to conjure up a way to catch him off guard somehow-

“The hell is goin’ on out here?!”

A hotel room door swings open, snapping you out of your rapidly racing thoughts. Out steps a gruff looking stranger, and upon closer inspection, you come to realise that he is, in fact, not a stranger at all.

Arthur Morgan.

Not that you were ever expecting to meet him again, certainly not under these circumstances, you never did forget that name or face.

Back before everything had completely turned to shit for you, he’d once helped you and your parents out with trouble with bandits targeting your ranch while he was just passing through one day. Even then, his timing was perfect. Some things truly never do change, huh?

Your client turns to look at Arthur, and he scoffs, shaking his head at him, refusing to loosen his grip on you.

“Nothin’ for you to worry about. Get outta here! This ain’t nothin’ to do with you!”

Arthur strides forward, and his gaze is piercing, unfaltering. He stares the stranger down with every step he takes, until finally, he’s standing directly in front of him, keeping up the eerily calm resolve.

“The lady told you to let her go, mister. I suggest you listen to her.”

His voice is low, the hint of a threat behind his words. He’s almost challenging the man to argue back, and the poor bastard is drunk - more like dumb - enough to keep running his mouth. However, it’s enough to get him to finally release you, and without a second thought, you’re ducking out of the way.

“Get outta my face, boy, or I’ll knock you flat on your ass!”

He bites back immediately, sneering at an unflinching Arthur, which only seems to anger him even more. He draws an arm back, ready to swing at him and stay true to his word, but Arthur simply ducks to the side before it can connect.

Arthur simply shoves the stranger in the direction of the nearest wall with enough force for him to bounce back off of it, and he falls sideways, his head connecting with a side table. He hits the floor with a thud, flat on his face, and you stare, shocked at first. Then, the shock quickly morphs into fear. You’re honestly not sure if he’s just inadvertently killed this man or not, and before you can even stammer out an apology for intervening, Arthur is crouching down and rolling the man over onto his back, and he holds a hand out in front of his face, leaving it there for a second or two.

“It’s alright.” he hums, still crouching, “He’s still breathin’.”

Arthur glances at you before he rises back up to his full height again, and then, he turns his full attention to you. You bite your lip and nod slightly, doing everything possible to avoid looking him in the eye, but you know you’re going to have to at some point during this interaction.

“You alright, miss?”

“I...y-yeah. I think so.” you near enough mumble, and your eyes finally meet his, “...Thank you. If...if there’s anythin’ I can do to pay you back, just name it. I ain’t got much, but...I owe you.”

Now that Arthur’s had the chance to really look at you, there’s a flicker of recognition in his features. It doesn’t go unnoticed by you, and while he can’t place a name to the face to begin with, it eventually hits him like a punch to the gut.

“...(Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

He states your name, properly studying you now. What was once loosely braided hair now resembles a nest. Decent clothes have now become rags, and the bright smile you once wore has now turned into a semi-permanent frown. He can hardly believe it at first, but there’s no mistaking that it’s most definitely you.

You sigh and shuffle your feet, nodding slightly, and Arthur frowns, leading you away from the unconscious man laying before you both.

“What happened to you? Your daddy lose the ranch or somethin’?”

He asks, and that sets you off crying. But you don’t blame him. He has no idea what happened back then, and you sure as hell don’t owe him an explanation, but you’re about to give him one anyway.

“No, uh...y-you...well…” you stutter, pausing only to compose yourself, “...Remember those bandits, the day you met me, momma, and daddy?”

You ask, and he nods, willing you to continue in your own time.

“They...some of ‘em got away. Half of ‘em wasn’t even shot that day, and...they came back. Killed momma and daddy. They was gonna kill me, too.”

Your voice breaks, and the tears flow with no intention of stopping anytime soon. You momentarily turn your back on Arthur, praying you can calm yourself down to at least finish what you’re in the midst of telling him.

“Aw, miss, that’s real awful.”

Arthur sighs, and even then, he’s not sure if he’s saying the right thing, but he figures that it’s better than standing in silence. Your sobs turn into sniffles, and you slowly turn back to him, swiping the tears away with the back of your hand.

“...I got away. Hopped on the first horse I found and rode the hell outta there. Didn’t know where I was goin’, but...thought Saint Denis was promisin’.”

You clear your throat, looking him in the eye before you continue. Arthur is listening intently, arms folded, his eyes not leaving your face while he gives you the time to tell your story, knowing that nobody else is likely to have even asked about it anyway, so he grants you that, at least.

“I didn’t have nowhere to go. Slept in the backs of empty wagons an’ some folks barn when I knew they wasn’t gonna catch me there. Probably woulda shot me or somethin’. And...now here I am, waitin’ out on the street for whichever feller wants to take me with ‘im, just so I got enough money to eat, or maybe get myself a room if I’m lucky. Lord knows how I survived this long.”

You let out a shaky sigh, shrugging to yourself, trying to smile despite it all. But you fail. Your lip quivers, sobs threatening to resume all over again, even though you’re trying your hardest to put on a brave face.

Arthur could easily leave you here, give you enough money so you can at least attempt to start over elsewhere. But he doesn’t. Instead, he considers you for a moment, weighing both options he has in mind. Finally, he sighs, shaking his head slightly, but it’s meant more for himself, not you.

He doesn’t usually do things quite like this, but he knows you’ve lost everything you held dear, and he really does feel sorry for you. Had Arthur not already known you, maybe he’d see the situation differently, and even though you’re falling apart at the seams in comparison to the last time he saw you, he knows that the sweet and amiable rancher’s daughter from his memory is still hidden away in there somewhere.

“...C’mon.”

He stands aside, creating space to allow you to pass, but you don’t. You simply stare at him, dumbfounded and frozen in place, mouth slightly agape. Arthur gestures to the clear path in front of him, nodding his head to the side, signalling you to follow him.

“Wh-...What?”

“I’m gettin’ you outta here, somewhere safe. I ain’t just gonna leave you on your own like that.” when you step forward, he continues, “I’m with a group, where we’re camped out ain’t too far from here. You can stay with us.”

A few seconds later, your feet drag along the hotel hallway floor whilst your legs carry you towards Arthur. You open your mouth to speak, but no sentence, let alone any words, spill out. He waits until you’re by his side before he continues to walk, remaining close to you in hopes of you feeling some form of comfort from his presence. You do, of course, and it’s not until you’re halfway down the stairs that lead into the saloon that you’re finally able to speak.

“You...d’you think they’re gonna mind? I don’t wanna just show up if it’s gonna be-”

“It’s all gonna be fine.”

Arthur interjects, softly. He halts just before the next step, and he turns to gaze down at you, occasionally glancing down at your hand, as if he’s asking permission to take it. When you don’t shy away, he slowly reaches out, clasping your significantly smaller hand in his, and he gives it a reassuring squeeze.

“Come with me, sweetheart. I’m gon’ help you out. I promise.”

[otabangbang]

Choices

((So I am...GONNA TRY to fully participate in Otabek Altin week. We’ll see how it goes as tomorrow will be pretty busy. Today’s prompt is Good Boy/Bad Boy!)) If he had wanted to be a bad boy, a real trouble maker, Otabek easily could have been. After the letdown that was the training camp in Russia he had moved off to North America while feeling desperate and weak. It had to change. He worked on himself - and not just in skating. Otabek hit the gym for one. He starting working out, wanting to be better, stronger. He looked at the other boys around him. Who held envy and respect? Who was avoided and who was included? No, he didn't want all of that exactly. Respect was his biggest goal after he failed to achieve what he wanted overseas. Guys in sports were well liked. They were also very outgoing and popular, more-so than he ever wanted to be. Oh sure, he wanted to be known and all that, but he didn't want people crowding him and sucking up to him. It was shameful. And so, being that he very much was in a sport, he looked for something to help him on the side.

Otabek liked the look of the leather jacket, how a man in black with short dark hair seemed to say he was tough and smart about certain ways of the world. He liked the fingerless gloves, the way they made him feel. The classic bad boy look, he learned, was a thing he very much admired. He was a figure skater and clueless people acted as though that wasn't much of a sport, so it was doubly important to convey how strong and intimidating it really was.

When he lived in Quebec and was friends with JJ, he really found his place.

Wearing that sort of fashion attracted some less desirable acquaintances. He liked them okay at first, the group of guys who would start talking to him at the college dining hall and shoot the shit with him before class. They too wore similar clothes, their ears pierced, other things too. They were older than him by a few years and though he told himself he wasn't a little flattered by their attention, he kind of was.

"Shot before class?" he recalled one asking him once outside of one of the building. Otabek had to process the English spoken with a French accent before he shook his head no. "C'mon, makes Bruno's rambling on maths more bearable," he pressed.

Otabek said no again, he had a test that day and to keep with the funds he had for his training and living, he needed to keep grades up. The other student shrugged and dribbled out what he was sure was a slur, but he didn't ask him to clarify.

He told little white lies for a few of the boys, let them cheat off his homework. When they cursed out another student or a teacher, he didn't say anything even if he wasn't really okay with it. Whenever they suggested something a little sleazier - drinking behind a building, picking wallets, finding a drunk girl - he would say he had something to do.

One evening he was headed for the school housing he used when he saw two of the men with a tall, lanky kid from Ontario who was interested in sports commentary. The rougher of the two, a muscular guy named Marc with greasy brown hair and an eyebrow piercing, had him backed against the side of  the arts building.

"Shitstain owes me some money from last week," Marc explained, shoving the guy who looked anxious. "Spotted him for lunch."

"Just lunch?" Otabek asked with a huff and Marc gave him an annoyed look.

"It was still money - get him Otabek!"

That small moment of conversation was enough for the poor kid against the wall to start to break away. He met Otabek's eye briefly, and for a moment Otabek did nothing.

Then he suddenly grabbed the kid by the arm, pushed him quickly and forcefully back and slammed him up against the wall. His head went back and hit the wall, bouncing forward as he let out a loud cry. Otabek's forearm was pressed on his chest, keeping him there. It felt exciting for maybe a second.

"Woah!" Marc howled in laughter and slapped Otabek's back. "Damn kid, didn't think you had it in you! Punch this pissant in the gut!."

Otabek almost did, knowing he could hit him pretty hard. He'd already slammed him into the wall. It didn't feel good. And so, he released him and stepped back.

"What, your balls not fully dropped?" Marc teased and his little friend laughed too.

"Wasn't my money, why am I punching him?" Otabek replied with a shrug. It was the first way out he could think of.

Marc looked like he was going to respond when he heard a loud and familiar voice yelling to him. "Hey! OTABEK!"

Everyone picked their heads up to see JJ, standing there grinning like a dufus. "JJ?" Otabek responded.

"What're you doing with that Gaspesie trashbag?" JJ asked, still grinning as Marc fumed. "Come on, let's get outta here."

"Mmmhmm, coming," Otabek answered, because he'd rather hang out with JJ. Even if JJ was obnoxious, his warm, spirited nature at times helped Otabek feel rooted. Plus, he had a lot of games, movies, and expensive food.

As Otabek walked toward JJ the victim behind him followed, the two thugs angrily stewing since they had no desire to be seen beating someone up. He didn't stick with Otabek and JJ but took off. Years down the road he'd help Otabek with paperwork for a competition.

"The hell you doing with them, Otabek?" JJ asked him and pinched at his leather jacket. "You don't have to act like them cause you kinda dress like them."

"I wasn't," Otabek said simply.

"Good, you're too damn good for them. It's more fun to beat someone in honest competition anyway." JJ wasn't wrong. "Anyway I got a new game and no one to play with! Come over you jerk. It's been a while."

Otabek smiled despite himself.

He stopped talking to Marc and his pals. Two months later they were kicked out of the college for arson and he never saw them again anyway.

[shamelessly4shameless-blog]

The Sand In Your Shoe (pt.8)

Mandy hovers by the office door. It is half open and she can see her brother, head bowed over a neat stacks of cash from the nights takings. She is instantly transported back through the years, watching him count the crumpled bills from the latest drug deal or gun sale, the table cluttered and almost as dirty as most of the money. Now, as then, he has a cigarette dangling from his bottom lip and another, unlit, tucked behind his ear, ready to be lit off the butt of the first. He hates dealing with money and smokes the entire way through and if it takes longer than two cigarettes, he will take a break to get a beer.

However, unlike their home in South Side, Mickey’s table here doesn’t have guns or pot or beer cans scattered across it – though Mandy knows that all of those items are in the room somewhere – but it does have a basic old laptop and a ledger which is painstakingly filled in every night with Mickey’s scruffy penmanship.

Mandy smiles, remembering when she first arrived and money was stuffed in the rickety old desk draw, the notes folded in on themselves and unorganised, the figure for each day kept only in Mickey’s head or written on the back of his hand. She’d made him buy the laptop and taught him the couple of bits she had learned from Lip about setting it up and together, with a suitable amount of cursing and more than one instance of somebody storming out, they had learned how to make a basic spreadsheet to keep track of things. Mickey had bought the ledger himself because he didn’t completely trust the laptop, a fair choice as the thing was ancient and made awful noises if it was on for more than an hour or two.

Mandy has never felt so close to her brother as she has these last eighteen months. Out of all of them, she probably had been closest to Mickey growing up, but once he was seven or eight, their father stopped any attempt at them playing together. Mickey got sent off with the other boys, Mandy was told to stay out of the damn way and they became almost strangers, strangers who occasionally got into fights and slept in the same house.

She doesn’t want to tell him what she’s done. He might be disowned and dishonoured but he is still a South Side Milkovich and Mandy knows the code that they were raised with must be etched into his very bones, just as it is hers. But not telling him is worse and she owes him the truth.

“Mickey?”

“What?”

His voice is distracted and he doesn’t look up, just keeps thumbing through the cash and occasionally jotting numbers in the ledger.

“Can I talk to you?”

“Right fucking now?”

“No, sorry, it can wait.”

Something in her voice makes him look up, his eyes flicker to the heavy backpack at her feet and he huffs an impatient breath through his nose but puts the money down.

“You goin’ somewhere?”

“Maybe. I … Mickey, I’ve done something and you’re going to be REALLY fucking pissed when I tell you, but I have to tell you and when I do, if you want me to go, I’ll go.”

She twists her hands into the hem of her shirt and raises her eyes to the ceiling, determined not to cry. Milkovich’s don’t fucking cry.

“Well that’s a little fuckin’ dramatic.”

Mickey frowns and takes a deep pull on his cigarette, letting some of the smoke curl out of his nostrils before exhaling the rest in a quick breath.

“You wanna sit down or are you just gonna stand there and make us both feel fuckin’ awkward?”

Now that he has made up his mind to listen to her, Mickey wants to get on with it but Mandy finds herself frozen to the spot. Mickey doesn’t look anything like their father, maybe they’re built a little similar, stocky and broad chested, but he looks more like their mom, or what Mandy remembers of her anyway, but all the same she is suddenly scared.

“I’m fine here.”

“Fine, suit your fucking self. What’s going on Mandy?”

She makes herself untangle her fingers from her shirt and shifts her weight onto her other leg, trying to look at ease but failing miserably. Mickey absent-mindedly rubs his top lip and then rolls his neck, easing the tense set of his shoulders. He looks at her with a sort of weary readiness, like he is expecting her to tell him there is a guy she needs him to beat up or some other problem she wants him to fix. It almost breaks Mandy’s heart because no matter what else he might be; her brother has always tried to fix things for her, even when they were irreparably broken and now he is going to hate her.

“I told someone where you are.”

“You did fucking what?”

Mickey’s eyes fly open, whatever he was expecting it wasn’t this.

“Not exactly where you are just the state we’re in.”

Mandy forces herself to keep looking at him and now that the words are out she feels a little less sick despite the dawning look of horrified fury on her brothers face.

“Are you outta your fucking mind? Jesus Christ, Mandy! Who did you tell?”

“I’m sorry! I know I shouldn’t have …”

“Damned fucking right you shouldn’t have! Who the fuck did you fucking tell?”

“Mickey, I’m really sorr…”

“Stop saying you’re fucking sorry!”

Mickey flies out of the chair and slams his hand down on the desk spilling a stack of cash onto the floor but neither of them even glance at it. He starts to move around the desk, intending to pull her in and shut the damned door to stop her bolting before she has told him exactly what fucking happened, but as he moves toward her, Mandy flinches. It is a small movement but it stops him cold and with a supreme effort, Mickey reins in his temper, drawing his bottom lip inwards and biting down hard.

She’s put everything in jeopardy. His freedom, his bar, all the work and the grafting, the years of effort it’s taken to get him to a semi-legit place! If anyone else had been so fucking reckless with his life …

But it is not anyone else.

It’s his baby sister and she is scared and although a dark little part of Mickey thinks she is fucking right to be scared, he can’t stand for her to flinch away from him like that.

Mickey holds up his hands and turns away from her, giving her a little breathing space, which is hard in the cramped little office.

“Would you please come inside and shut the fuckin’ door?”

“Why? There’s no one here but us.”

She is still wary but Mandy takes a couple of steps into the room and nudges the door mostly closed.

“Mandy, you’re my sister, I might be a complete asshole but I would never hurt you. Sit your ass down and tell me what the fuck is going on.”

He snatches the cigarette from behind his ear and lights it in a smoothly aggressive motion.

“You want one?”

“Yeah.”

Mandy nods and Mickey jerks his head to the packet on the desk

“Fuckin’ take one then. I ain’t your damn maid.”

Relief courses through Mandy and she fights back a smile as she scrabbles to get a smoke out of the packet. Mickey notices how badly her fingers are trembling and a little bit of the seathing anger in his chest dissipates. Just a fucking little bit though.

“I told Ian.”

Mandy says as soon as she has the cigarette lit. Mickey’s lip curls upward incredulously and he spreads his hands in front of his chest in a gesture of complete disbelief.

“Fuckin’ … Ian Gallagher?”

“Yeah. He messaged me on Facebook and we were talking a little. He told me you hadn’t called…”

The faint note of accusation in her voice earns her a piercing blue-eyed glare as Mickey points his cigarette at her like a knife.

“Whether I call someone or not is none of your fuckin’ business and what the fuck is he doin’ messaging you anyway?”

“He was probably looking for you. He said he missed you.”

Mandy shrugs and Mickey turns away, pressing the heels of his hands to his forehead and trying to think.

“I don’t give a shit if he was tryin’ to find fuckin’ Jesus Christ himself. He should fuckin’ know better than to contact you like that.”

His words are sharp and dismissive but Mickey is feeling a little calmer, he fucking shouldn’t be but he is. Of all the people Mandy could have blabbed to, Ian was probably the least disastrous. If it had been one of his brother’s or worse, their father, then he would probably have been fucked.

“So you told him you were with me?”

“Not in so many words. Kinda. I just said ‘Tamaulipas’.”

“What did he say back?”

“He said ‘Thank you’ then a little bit later, he said ‘Where?’ I didn’t reply.”

“Good. Don’t.”

Mickey nods and sits on the edge of his desk, staring silently into the middle distance. Mandy watches him until her cigarette is burnt down to the filter and then crushes it beneath her sneaker heel.

“What are you gonna do?”

“Nothing.”

Mickey shakes his head slowly as if waking up from a dream and Mandy desperately wants to throw her arms around his neck and hold him close, but she knows better. He might not have completely lost his shit but he’s wound up tight and she is most definitely on his shit-list.

“I think he’ll probably find us, if he tries. I mean, it’s spelt wrong but the name of the bar …”

“Yeah.”

Mickey cuts her off. He named it ‘Galager’s’ specifically so that if Ian had ever looked for him, really looked for him, he might find him.

It was a sort of private thing between them, the stupid tattoo that Mickey gave himself when he was doped up to his eyeballs on some shit that he’d managed to score in prison and it had been a crappy fucking attempt. He blamed it on the drugs, whatever the fuck they were but he had managed to spell it wrong. When he showed Ian, during that awful last visit, it had been the only thing to make him smile, the only thing that had brought even a little light to the red-heads eyes. Galager.

“Mickey?”

“What?”

His tone is harsher than he meant it to be and Mandy winces slightly but pushes on anyway

“Do you want me to leave? I know you don’t want me to say ‘sorry’ again…”

“No, I fuckin’ don’t! And I don’t want you to leave either.”

“Really?”

The word comes out a little breathless and Mickey hates that she is surprised that she can be forgiven but then forgiveness was not a word often heard in their house growing up. To forgive was weakness and a sign of being a faggot. Mickey snorts to himself and thinks: *Well Pops, guess fuckin’ what!*

“Yeah really. Don’t fuckin��� be so stupid again though. I don’t care who it is.”

“I won’t. I swear it was just … Mickey, you and Ian … You should …”

“Hey,”

He holds up a hand and shakes he head again, firmly this time

“Don’t fuckin’ push it. My business is my business Mandy. If I wanted to talk to Ian I would have called him my fuckin’ self.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because I didn’t know what the fuck I would say.”

Mickey’s honesty surprises her a little but she tries not to let it show.

“Well, you know Ian. He’s like a dog with a fucking bone. You should probably try and think of something. Soon.”

She smiles a little and Mickey’s own lip quirks ever so slightly in response.

“Yeah.”

Mandy stands up and shoulders her bag, knowing she needs to leave him be but before she leaves the room, she quickly ducks down, sweeping her hair out of the way and kisses Mickey’s cheek.

“Thank you, big brother.”

Before he can say anything back, Mandy is out of the room, her footsteps pounding the stairs to her room.

Mickey touches the damp spot on his cheek and his nose twitches, an old tic that still surfaces when he is uncomfortable or embarrassed.

“You’re welcome.”

He mutters and bends down to pick up the bank notes he knocked on the floor, stacks the money as best he can on the desk. His eyes are stinging and he thinks he might cry. Mickey purses his lips and fights it back.

He looks at the stacks of money on the table and his lip twitches again. Then, promising himself it is just for tonight, Mickey pulls out his desk draw and sweeps the whole fucking lot into it and slams it shut. Ian did not fall in love with some weak little bitch and he sure as fuck ain’t gonna find one in Mexico.

“Fuck you, Gallagher.”

Mickey smiles. His body is tingling from the adrenaline and his skin feels tight but in a really fucking good way. He knows what he needs.

He leaves the office, heads into the deserted bar and crosses to the jukebox. Only one song will fucking do: DMX – X Gon’ Give It To Ya, Mickey slaps the button and the room is filled with the sound of dogs growling.

He pours himself a shot of whisky. He downs it in one and the shock of the alcohol makes him bare his teeth in a satisfied grimace. There is an old scaffold poll above the bar walkway and Mickey take a running jump at it, wrapping his fingers around the cold metal and hauling himself upwards. He hasn’t kept up his pull-up routine but his chin clears the bar and he lowers himself, biting his lip as his muscles strain against the fabric of his shirt.

He begins to sweat, salt rolling from his forehead, dripping from his chin and Mickey clenches his ass to give him the final boost he needs on his fifth pull. He does five more, determined to get to ten and drops down with a pleased grunt, dusting his hands off on his shirt. He pours another drink and realises that Mandy is watching him from the doorway.

“The fuck you looking at?”

He grins and she returns his smile, tucking her hair behind her ear and swaying into the room, pumping her hands in time with the song, bobbing and weaving toward her brother with pout.

“A fuckin’ gangsta apparently.”

Mickey lets out a small laugh before pushing his own lips out in what Mandy calls ‘duck-face’ and dipping low, bouncing lightly from left to right as his arms cross back and forth and then pumps them up to the ceiling.

He isn’t a natural dancer like Mandy is but what he lacks in grace Mickey makes up for in sheer fucking attitude and when Mandy presses her back flush to his front he surprises both of them by grinding down to the floor with her.

“Fuck yeah! You got some moves, man!”

Mandy claps and punches his shoulder in admiration

“Oh! Did you think you’re the only one with fuckin’ hips, bitch? Anything you can do ...”

Mickey’s eyebrows raise in challenge and Mandy holds an index finger up to his face.

“Watch this, fuckface.”

She shimmies over to the duke box and selects a song of her own. Do It Like A Dude – Jessie J. Mandy turns back and runs at Mickey, jumping and gripping the scaffold poll with her palms just before she reaches him.

“Oh yeah?”

Mickey lines up two more drinks and stands back to watch as Mandy pulls herself up, once, twice, three times …

“Think you’re the only one with guns, asshole?”

Mandy grunts and lets go with her left hand, for a moment she dangles and then her right arm begins to flex and she is lifting herself in a one armed pull up.

“The fuck?!”

Mickey’s mouth is hanging open in an awed ‘O’ of surprise. Mandy lets go and lands neatly, cocking her head at him, tongue poking between her teeth.

“God damn!”

Mickey mimes taking his hat off and claps as Mandy bows. She goes to take one of the shots and Mickey pushes both toward her

“Nah! Both of these are for you. You fuckin’ earned ‘em!”

Mandy’s arm is aching like a bitch and she really wants to roll her shoulder but she pushes the urge away, having her brother in absolute awe is so much sweeter.

“Wanna play pool, drink the Top Shelf stock and fuck ourselves up South Side style?”

She asks, leaning back against the bar. Mickey nods and pulls a crumpled joint out of his back pocket.

“Hell yes I do. Wrack ‘em up.”

They play pool, they drink and they dance. They let off steam and the celebrate being alive. They party together until the first red tendrils of dawn light creep through the windows and then Mandy fries up some bacon and they wander down to the shore, hammered and happy and eat quietly together as the gulls circle overhead.

In Chicago a plane takes off and many hopes and dreams soar upwards with it.

[missblanchette]

Look, Papa, No Hands [1/1]

Series: Joker Game

Characters: Hatano, Amari, Emma, Tazaki; Some minor Amari/Tazaki, but it’s not a huge focus

Rating: PG (for Hatano’s language lol)

Summary: What better revenge is there than to teach another man's child how to ride a bike? (or: Hatano teaches Emma how to ride a bike. Amari is not happy.)

Words: 2517

Notes: Part of my Modern AU (btw this is @dollofdeath‘s new writing blog, hello~); Inspired by this tweet; Misleading title is misleading bc there’s no actual bike riding lmao but anyways, this is just a dumb thing I wrote for fun haha some things to note (which will make sense in a few lol), I hc Hatano as a gamer, Nintendo Switches are hard to find and expensive since there’s not so much produced:’) and ah, if you’ve read my previous modern AUs, you’ll have noticed that AmaTaza aren’t established yet but in this fic, they are -- I’m just jumping around in the timeline a bit hehe

You can read this on AO3! Thank you guys for reading and I hope you enjoy~! (ˊᗜˋ)

Hatano wouldn't usually call himself as "a dick." Sure, there are times where he's an asshole, but it's because the other person deserves it. Like whenever Jitsui's sadism becomes too overwhelming or Miyoshi's ego gets to his head or the fact that Kaminaga exists in general. He's not a dick for no reason -- it's just to put others in their place.

And today he feels like being a dick.

He clearly remembers how Amari did him wrong last week -- not that Amari's aware of the severity of the situation. After spending the entire afternoon in Akihabara trying to find a freaking Nintendo Switch (which he did, all at the cost of a whooping 45,500 yen and his will to live), Hatano ran into Amari who'd invited him to dinner and who was he to deny free food? But being the dumbass that he was, he'd forgotten the Switch at Amari's place and didn't notice until well after he got home..

"Oh, that...?" Amari said, the moment Hatano called and asked him about it. With just those two, simple words, Hatano knew it wasn't gonna end well. "I didn't realize it was yours and let Emma play with it."

So far, so good. Hatano even felt a little proud that Emma had taken an interest in gaming. But Amari just had to continue speaking.

"Then, uh, Frate ate it --" Oh shit. "-- and it broke."

Right there and then, Hatano's soul left his body. He'd been saving up for weeks to buy a Switch, even refusing Jitsui's offer to split the cost because he wanted to buy everything with his own money. That was 45,500 yen down the drain. Not to mention that dipshit Odagiri's probably gonna show off his Switch next time they hang out. Fuckin'. God dammit.

"I'm really sorry!" Amari said but Hatano had already grown numb. "I'll pay you back!"

Oh, he'll pay all right.

Amari's a nice guy, don't get him wrong; he's always been there for him and has helped him through tough times. In fact, if he's drunk enough, he may even admit to seeing him as an older brother. But that doesn't change the fact that he can be an airhead and Hatano is petty as hell.

So when Amari asks him to watch Emma, he doesn't hesitate. It takes some convincing to Jitsui to let her stay on such short notice, but Jitsui's happy to comply once he lets him on in the plan. After Emma's dropped off, Hatano waits fifteen minutes to make sure Amari's gone. Then, he turns to her.

"Hey, Emma."

"Yes, Uncle Hatano?"

"Ya wanna learn how to ride a bike?"

The sparkle in her big, blue eyes is all the answer he needs.

After what happened last week, Amari's had some hesitations leaving Emma with Hatano for the day. He thought for sure Hatano would just shoot him down, but surprisingly, Hatano accepts without any complaints. Though, Amari's not really in a position to question it since he's pressed for time. Not that he doubts Hatano (though, Jitsui's another story), but he's glad to see Emma all in one piece when he comes to pick her up. Hatano even sends them off with a smile, a sight he doesn't see too often.

"Papa, Papa! Guess what?" Emma asks as they take the elevator down. She bounces excitedly in his arms and despite how tired he feels, Amari can't help but share her enthusiasm.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"Guess!"

"Hm, okay. You went to the aquarium and saw the dolphins today."

"Nope~ Guess again."

"No? Then did Uncle Jitsui let you help with his manga?"

"Nuh-uh. One more try."

"Okay then... you and Uncle Hatano made flour bombs!"

"No~" Emma giggles. "It's none of that!"

"Well, don't leave me hanging," Amari teases.

"Uncle Hatano taught me how to ride a bike!"

Amari chokes, nearly dropping Emma in the process.

"Are you okay, Papa?"

"J-Just fine, darling." It takes all his strength not to cry right there and then. "I-Is that so? How did it go?"

Emma wastes no time explaining the bike riding lesson and chatters on about how fun it was and how fast she went and how cool it was to finally be on a big girl bike, but it all goes into one ear and out the other as they make their way back to the car.

For some time now, Emma's been wanting to ride a bike, claiming that she's gotten too old for her tricycle. It's taken a while, but Amari finally ordered the perfect bike for her -- a bright pink one with those colorful tassels on the handles and a cute, little basket in the front. There's even a bell on it, because she says she likes the way they sound.

It was supposed to be a surprise when it comes in later in the week, but... he figures it doesn't mean much now.

Tazaki reserves his mornings for his birdies-and-me time and no one -- not even those closest to him -- is allowed to interrupt it. So when his phone rings, he's already going through possible forms of punishment to whoever's calling. Not even a hint of mercy crosses his mind when he sees "Amari 🐳💞" on the screen.

He answers, ready to reprimand Amari for disturbing him, but a shrill cry cuts him short.

"Uncle Tazakiii!!"

"Emma, dove," he says as calmly as possible. As he hears her hiccuping on the other end, he decides that maybe he'll make one exception. "What's wrong?"

"Papa, h-he won't get up...!"

Grip tightening on his phone, Tazaki's heart drops and his blood runs cold.

"Did something happen?"

"I-I don't know..." She sniffles. "I t-tried waking him up but he won't get outta bed."

By the time she's finished speaking, Tazaki's already put on his shoes and grabbed his keys.

"Don't worry, dove, I'll be right there," he says and wasting not a second, he scrambles out of his apartment. It's times like these that he wishes he had a car, but he's able to make it to Amari's place quickly nonetheless.

As soon as he gets there, Emma clings onto him for dear life. He takes a moment to help her calm down and reassures her that no, Papa isn't dead and yes, Papa will be all right (probably, he thinks, but he doesn't want to start freaking out either). Once she's settled down with Frate to keep her busy, Tazaki steels himself and enters Amari's room.

He finds a giant lump lying on the bed that he can only assume is Amari, but it's still and silent and Tazaki has to remember to take a breath in and a breath out and a breath in and a breath out and -- screw it, he can't possibly concentrate on his breathing exercises right now. With Emma out in the living room, he's allowed to freak out as much as he wants.

"A-Amari!" He rushes to his side and practically throws the covers off, and there's Amari laying face down without any hints of life. Kneeling down next to him, Tazaki takes one of his hands in his and starts shaking him. "Are you okay?"

The seconds tick by with no response from Amari and oh God, Tazaki thinks, how's he going to break this to Emma? She's already lost her birth parents, now she's lost another one and wait, being Amari's boyfriend means the responsibility of taking care of her goes to him. But he's not ready to raise a child by himself and oh no, his boyfriend's dead, how's he supposed to deal with this? He's never had a dead boyfriend before --

"Tazaki...?" Ever so slowly, Amari tilts his head towards him.

"Oh thank God," Tazaki says, cradling Amari's face in his hands. Taking a closer look at him, Amari's eyes are tired and dull and it's so strange seeing him without his usual cheer. "Emma said you wouldn't get out of bed so I thought something bad happened like you were paralyzed or you slipped into a coma or -- o-or --" Tazaki pauses to collect his thoughts. "I just... what happened?"

"Sorry for worrying you," Amari says, giving him a weak smile. "It's just that Hatano..."

He trails off, voice cracking. Tazaki leans in.

"W-What about Hatano?" Oh God, did something happen to Hatano that he's not aware of? He's a reckless guy, so it's not unlikely that he'd get himself into some sort of accident or get involved with the wrong people or --

"He... taught Emma how to ride a bike."

"Oh my God! I can't believe -- wait." Tazaki blinks once. Twice. Three times. Then it really sinks in. "What."

In his head, Tazaki replays the words over again and stares at Amari's sorry state. He opens his mouth to speak, but finds that he can't properly express himself with words. So instead he lets go of Amari, grabs the pillow from underneath his head, and smacks him.

"Ow! Why --"

"That's it?" He hits him again. "Emma was so worried about you and it was all because Hatano taught her how to ride a bike?" And once more for good measure. "What's wrong with you!?"

All the while, Amari sits up, arms raised in a vain attempt to defend himself from Tazaki's onslaught.

"You don't understand!"

"Oh." Tazaki raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

"A child only learns how to ride a bike once; it's an important bonding moment between a father and his child." Amari sniffles. "Hatano took that away from me."

Tazaki grips the pillow, having half the mind to hit him again. Maybe it's because he's not a father himself, but he finds Amari's reaction a little, well, ridiculous. Then again, he's used to ridiculous when it comes to Amari. Regardless, it must mean a lot to him if he's acting like this and that's enough for Tazaki to stop and consider the situation.

"That doesn't mean you can just mope around." He sits down next to him and lightly, hits him with the pillow.  "I know it hurts, but Emma still has a lot of firsts to go through and you'll be there for it."

Amari doesn't respond immediately, but he leans onto Tazaki's side.

"You have a point..."

"And you'll get the opportunity again, won't you?" He coughs, realizing the implication and quickly adds, "Theoretically. Hypothetically. Possibly. You might have more kids."

"But it won't be the same." Amari pouts. "Emma is Emma and those children are those children. It's a different experience."

"Is it really?"

"Of course!" Amari says. "Because each child is unique, so each experience won't be the same. And the chance I had with Emma --" Sniffling, he rubs his eyes. "-- was stolen, and I'll never get it back!"

As Amari plops his head on his lap, Tazaki sighs and runs his hands through Amari's hair. He's definitely gonna have to call Hatano about this.

Tazaki says he's gonna treat Hatano for the day but what Hatano gets instead is a one-on-one with Amari, courtesy of Tazaki himself.

"Emma and I are going out," Tazaki tells them. "You two aren't allowed to leave until you work things out. And don't either of you dare think about leaving because I will know," he says, looking directly at Hatano and Hatano doesn't quite get how Tazaki's able to rework Amari's lock so quickly so that it only opens from the outside, but it's whatever he supposes.  

"We'll be back by evening. You have until then to make up."

And with that, Hatano and Amari are left alone, seated across one another at the table.

Both of them refuse to look at each other -- or more like, Hatano refuses to look at Amari and Amari awkwardly tries to make eye contact -- but Hatano tries not to let the atmosphere get to him, and kicks back in his seat with his hands resting behind his head.

"So," Amari says, breaking the silence.

"So," Hatano repeats.

A beat.

"You taught Emma how to ride a bike."

"I sure as hell did." Hatano smirks as Amari winces. "The kid's a natural."

"I'm sure she is," Amari says. Hatano hears the cracks in his voice. "She's very quick to catch on."

"Unlike a certain someone," Hatano mumbles.

"Look at me, Hatano" The seriousness in Amari's voice catches him off guard and he does just so. He's not used to that disappointed look Amari gives him nor that serious tone he's using -- it's almost like when his own dad's yelling at him, but Hatano reminds himself Amari's not the same guy as his father. "Can you tell me why you did that?"

His words aren't harsh or demanding, but soft and coaxing and it's enough to make Hatano shift in his seat. Okay, maybe he's starting to feel a little bad.

"Because you ruined something of mine."

He could practically hear the ticking of the clock as he waits for Amari to reply. Amari's brows furrow and he tilts his head in that way he does when he's thinking about something.

"Is it about that game thing --"

"Switch."

"-- Switch thing?"

Hatano chews the inside of his cheek.

"Yeah."

"I said I'd pay you back."

"It's not enough!" Hatano slams his hands on the table. "I spent weeks saving up for that, y'know? It took me a while to find one in store too. And I didn't even get to open the box."

Amari holds his gaze for a moment before taking his hands in his. Despite how annoyed he is, Hatano lets him.

"I'm really sorry," he says, not breaking eye contact. "I didn't consider your feelings and I hurt you. I'll do anything to make up for it, I promise."

He heaves a sigh.

"But, you know," Amari continues. "You hurt me too. You also ruined something for me."

Here, Hatano looks away.

"You only have one chance to teach your child how to ride a bike." Amari swallows hard. "And now my chance with Emma is gone."

With that said, silence falls over and Hatano isn't quite sure if the quiet is any better. Hesitantly, he takes a peek at Amari and God, there's that kicked puppy look on his face. How the hell is he supposed to stay mad at that? Sighing, Hatano removes his hands from Amari's and crosses his arms.

"I guess," he starts, "it was a little bit harsh."

"A little bit?"

"Shut up while I'm apologizing."

Amari makes a zipping motion across his lips.

"Maybe I overreacted, but it was really unfair to you." He inhales deeply. "I'm sorry. Like really sorry and..." His mind is a tizzy, trying to think of some way to make up for what he's done. "You can teach my kids to ride a bike."

Slowly, Amari nods.

"All right. That's fair," he says, but then his nose crinkles. "Wait. I thought you didn’t want kids."

A pause.

"You can teach Yoru."

Another pause.

"Okay."

Later that week, Emma hit the town in her swanky, pink bicycle with Yoru at her side. They became internet sensations.

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 37

Ehhhhhh this chapter is a fucking mess my dudes but whatever I kinda knew it would be from the start. But then again at least its over with because that means only one chapter stands between me and the angst train and I honestly don’t think it’ll be that hard to write. As for this one, yeah its pretty whatever. But don’t let me stop you from liking it if you’re so inclined! Enjoy!

Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/162210680029/universe-falls-chapter-36

Chapter 37: Blendin’s Game

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Year 207̃012

The Infinitentiary was by far one of history’s most infamous, most impregnable prisons, built to contain the worst of the worst offenders of the laws of space time. The Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron ran a right ship in the prison under Time Baby’s strict command, ensuring that all of the criminals locked within its heavily guarded walls received the punishment they deserved for their time-related felonies. The correctional facility itself was suspended high above the surface of the Earth, its floating structure making escaping from it a nearly impossible feat. But that wasn’t to say it never happened, especially since such a fabled, unheard of, and daring escape was currently in progress.

Of course, the moment said escape was discovered, the Infinitentiary was put into a full -n lockdown, with all of its many gates and doors sealed tightly shut and all of its alarms blaring loudly. All available squadron officers were on the call to hunt down the fleeing conflict and bring him back to the prison, dead or alive. But this particular prisoner was crafty; he had to be to break out of a facility as fortified and inescapable as the Infinitentiary. He hurried through the darkened, bustling city streets far below the facility, all while under the cover of a cloak he had managed to swipe before his jailbreak. A sizable faction of squadron officers were hot on his tail, with seasoned operatives Lolph and Dundgren leading the pack, intent on catching the criminal and putting him behind bars once more.

“I’ve got to hand it to this perp,” Dundgren remarked to his partner as they perused their target down an alleyway. “He’s pulled off quite the getaway. No one’s ever broken out of the Infinitentiary before.”

“He’s either the bravest time convict I’ve ever seen,” Lolph said with a nod of agreement. “Or the dumbest.”

Almost as soon as the time officer said this, however, the criminal they were after just so happened to blindly crash into a nearby wall, clumsily stumbling backwards with a very loud, very overt cry of pain. The runaway ended up tripping over a large stack of barrels, knocking them over as he fell himself, his hood accidentally dropping to reveal his identity to the gathering crowd of both squadron officers and spectators: Blendin Blandin.

“Ow!” the former time officer cried, ignoring said crowd as he grabbed his injured leg. “My time knee! Oh, time dang it!”

“Definitely, the dumbest,” Dundgren deadpanned as him and Lolph finally caught up to the escaped convict.

“Freeze!” Lolph ordered as his fellow officers circled the very startled Blendin, who could really do nothing to run and hide at this juncture. “You’re surrounded by the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron! Anything you say can and already has been used against you in future court.”

“W-wha—but I-” Blendin attempted to come up with anything to say in his defense, but Dundgren succinctly cut him off before he could even get so much as a coherent word out.

“This is it, Blendin,” the officer said coldly as a few of the other officers secured the perp’s wrists with time cuffs. “End of the time line. Any last words?”

“Uh… Uh… I-I-I… Uh…” Blendin stammered, sweating nervously as his mind raced to come up with a way out of being sent back into the harsh, unforgiving walls of the Infinitentiary. And fortunately for him, he managed to think of the perfect way just in the nick of time. “I… I invoke GLOBNAR!”

The surrounding crowd let out a collective gasp upon hearing this, the very word sending a ripple of shocked and fearful whispers throughout it. But even despite the alarming connotations the very mention of Globnar carried, the squadron officers were unfazed by Blendin’s bold proclamation of it. “Very well,” Dundgren said, pulling out a tablet. “Speak the name and century of those accused.”

“The three kids who ruined my life,” the former time officer snarled bitterly. “Dipper and Mabel Pines and Steven Universe. 21st century.”

As soon as Blendin named the kids, Dundgren’s tablet easily located them from centuries ago. A live feed clip of the twins playfully whacking each other with soft bats as the young Gem laughingly joined in seconds later popped up, the trios’ names listed plainly underneath. Almost instantly, this video was transmitted to every screen and monitor within a several mile radius, the words “Globnar Tributes” branded across it in large, foreboding red letters. A wide, almost manic grin spread across Blendin’s face as he saw this, knowing that the revenge he had spent many a prison night dreaming of was soon about to become a reality.

“So be it,” Lolph said grimly, nodding to the former time officer as the young trio’s fate was sealed. “May Time Baby have mercy on their souls.”

Present day

The Mystery Shack’s vending machine wasn’t often fully stocked, with Stan only bothering to get it filled once every few weeks, or whenever any visiting tourists got so puckish that they began snacking on the exhibits themselves. And seeing as how a guest had taken a pretty sizable bite out of the cornicorn the previous day, the empty machine had been completely filled with snacks and sweets, much to the shared excitement of the kids, who were determined to be its first customers.

“Excuse me!” Steven called as him and Connie navigated their way past a group of gift shop customers, following not too far behind the twins as they rushed for the full machine. “Sorry!”

“Outta the way!” Mabel exclaimed much more boisterously, somewhat rudely pushing her way through the crowd amidst her hungry excitement. Still Dipper made sure to offer the customer his sister had unintentionally knocked over a terse apology before all four of the kids reached the tantalizing array of treats.

“There it is, you guys,” Dipper remarked with a broad smile as the four of them stood before it. “A completely full vending machine, just waiting for us to empty it.”

“I’ve never seen it stuffed full of so many tasty things!” Steven quipped, stars in his eyes. “Gummy Koalas, Cheese Balls, Pop-Pops… I can’t even decide what I wanna have first!”

“I wanna have everything first!” Mabel practically shouted, just as enthused.

“Well, unfortunately, we can only get one snack out of there at a time,” Connie chuckled, pulling a dollar out of her pocket. “Still, it’s not like we don’t have plenty of them to choose from.” The others watched in eager anticipation as she slid the dollar into the machine, pressing the buttons for the first selection, a bag of candy. All four of the kids pressed their faces to the glass, all of them cheering excitedly as the coil pushed the snack forward, only for it, against all odds, to come to an abrupt halt right before the candy could drop, much to their shared alarm and chagrin.

“No!” Dipper exclaimed in apt dismay. “It’s trapped!”

“Everything is terrible forever!” Mabel wailed, pounding her fists against the machine to no avail.

“They should make laws against this!” Steven cried, quite upset.

“What do we do now?” Connie asked with thoroughly disappointed frown.

“Psst! Hey, dudes!” Soos suddenly interjected, walking past the morose group with a broom in hand. “You wanna know a trick?” A sly grin spread across the handyman’s face as he rhythmically tapped the side of the vending machine. “Bibbity-bob. Wop!” At this, the machine’s door miraculously swung open, something that completely impressed and delighted the kids at once. “A genius taught me that once. This just in,” Soos’ smirk widened as he reached into the open machine and grabbed a generous armful of treats. “The weather station’s calling for a… candy blizzard!”

The kids cheered brightly as the handyman tossed his haul upon them, most of the candy landing in their outstretched arms while the few pieces that did fall to the floor were quickly recovered. “Forget taking off the wrappers, I’m eating these now!” Mabel exclaimed with a daring grin as she proceeded to do just that. Steven laughed in amusement as he watched her humorously struggle to do so, before throwing caution to the wind and shoving his armful of candy into his own mouth as well.

“Ah! This isn’t working anywhere near as well as I thought it would!” Steven cried amidst his full mouth, his arms flailing as him and Mabel crashed into each other in a reckless panic.

“Augh! This was a mistake!” Mabel shouted, choking on her candy from her spot beside Steven on the floor.

“Not that this isn’t awesome or anything, Soos,” Connie spoke up as her smile faded into slight worry. “But won’t Mr. Pines be mad about you breaking into the vending machine and giving us all this free candy.”

“Eh, I’ll just tell Mr. Pines to take it out of my next paycheck,” Soos shrugged blithely. “I mean, I was gonna use that money to buy candy anyway, so I figured I might as well spread a little of that sugary action to you guys, just ‘cause.”

“Soos, you are the greatest human to ever life,” Dipper said with a sincere smile.

“Hey, no sweat, dude,” the handyman grinned, taking the compliment in stride as he casually adjusted his hat. “After all, I’d do anything for the Pines family.”

“Soos!” Stan suddenly called from the den. “I need to scratch myself in two places at once!”

“And I mean anything,” Soos said with resolve upon hearing this, turning to heed his boss’ call. “Coming, Mr. Pines!”

“Are you two gonna be… ok?” Connie asked, turning to Steven and Mabel as Soos left. The pair was in the middle of practicing the Heimlich maneuver on each other so they could cough up the candy they were both respectively choking on. Mabel had already mostly recovered, and as she finished helping Steven, the young Gem collapsed fully onto the ground in slight exhaustion.

“Y-yeah! We’re good!”

“Whoa, guys, check it out,” Dipper said, heading over to the nearby table. “Looks like Soos left his wallet behind. Better make sure we get it back to him.”

“Wait!” Mabel jumped to her feet and rushed over. “I’ve never seen Soos’ wallet before. Don’t you wanna learn some Soos secrets?”

“Oh! I’d love to!” Steven initially agreed. “But, uh… isn’t that sort of like invading his privacy?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if we should—whoa!” Dipper cut himself off upon noticing a card peeking out of the handyman’s wallet. “Soos has a membership at the laser tag place? I didn’t know they let adults in there.”

“Ooo, and he’s got a punch card for Fish Stew Pizza too!” the young Gem quipped, pulling said card out of the wallet. “I gotta hand it to Soos, he has really good taste!”

“I’m not sure if I’d call a place that only serves fish-flavored pizza ‘good taste’…” Connie remarked with a dubious frown.

“That might not be good taste, but this totally is!” Mabel interjected as she pulled a slice of salami, of all things, out of the wallet next. “Emergency salami! Soos, my respect for you has grown.”

“Jésus Alzamirano Ramirez,” Dipper read off of Soos’ driver’s license out of mere curiosity alone. “Organ donor. 6 foot, 1…”

“And hey, look at that,” Connie cut in, also looking over the license. “His birthday… that’s today, isn’t it?”

“Whoa, it is!” Mabel gasped as she caught a glimpse of the date.

“Oh no!” Steven exclaimed fretfully. “And we didn’t even get him anything! This is a travesty of injustice! Out of anyone’s birthday, how could we have forgotten Soos’?!”

“Because I don’t think he actually told anyone about it, Steven,” Dipper clarified with a frown. “Which is pretty weird when you think about it. Why would Soos just not mention that his birthday was coming up?”

“Uh, duh!” Mabel exclaimed. “It’s probably because he wants someone to throw him a surprise party! I can relate; I’ve been waiting for a surprise party my whole life.”

Ironically enough, at this juncture Candy happened to run in out of nowhere, cheerfully tossing a handful of confetti onto Mabel from behind. “Surprise!”

“Too little, too late, Chiu,” Mabel responded coldly, turning to face her friend with an unimpressed scowl.

“Aw…” Candy sighed in disappointment as she sulked off.

“Wait, guys! I just had a great idea!” Steven quipped with an excited gasp. “What if we threw Soos a surprise birthday party?! After all, he’s always so helpful and nice and fun; it’s only fair that we show him how much we appreciate everything he does by throwing him the awesome party he’s been waiting for!”

“That is a great idea, Steven!” Connie smiled as they twins nodded their enthusiastic agreement with this plan.

“Yeah!” Mabel chimed in brightly. “Between the four of us, we’ll throw Soos the biggest, best, and most surprisiest birthday party he’s ever had! Now…” she trailed off with a sly smile, one that the others shared as they huddled together. “Let’s… get… party… planning!”

Despite the relatively short notice they were on, the kids managed to put their impromptu party plans into action rather quickly, setting things up in front of the shack and doing so quickly in the hopes that Soos wouldn’t prematurely notice. To ensure things went off without a hitch, the four had contracted a bit of help with their altruistic endeavor; Mabel had easily brought Candy and Grenda in to aid in setting things up, and Steven had little trouble getting Greg to come by and help out as well. Amethyst had been an unexpected addition to the self-proclaimed “party crew”, but merely spotting the growing layout of snacks as she passed by the shack was enough to convince her to stick around and “help” in her own unique way. After an hour or so of intensive work from everyone, they had what looked to be a very promising party to show for it. Balloons and streamers hung from the surrounding trees, bright confetti sprinkled all over the ground, and of course, the ever-growing snack table that was about to be diminished if the purple Gem had anything to do with it.

“Amethyst!” Steven called after her as he noticed her sneaking towards the table with a sly smirk. He put its attempts of trying to keep a party hat on Lion’s head aside as he rushed over to stop her, throwing himself between her and the table. “Stop! You can’t eat these yet! We have to wait for Soos to get here.”

“Aw, come on, Steven,” Amethyst stuck her tongue out in protest. “I was only gonna grab a few chips. And by a few I mean that entire bowl! And maybe some of that candy too!”

“Amethyst, no!” Steven halted her attempt to lunge past him, pushing her back a bit as he continued to block her way. “No! No…” He threw his arms out wide, sending her an unserious warning glare as she placed her hands on her hips in frustration. “No.”

“Ugh, fine!” Amethyst finally complied, petulantly walking away. “But the minute Soos gets out here, that snack table is all mine!”

“More exclamation points!” Mabel called up to Grenda as she painted a banner reading “It’s your birthday, yo!!!” “More, I say!”

“Wow, you guys thought of everything!” Grenda exclaimed with a wide smile upon finishing her work.

“Grenda, twins are born birthday experts,” Mabel remarked, sharing a confident grin with her brother.

“We’ve shared every birthday together, so we know how to make them perfect,” Dipper nodded in firm agreement. To emphasize their point, the twins cheerfully high fived and touched heels, simultaneously blowing on party horns as they kept up this playful stance.

“You know, I know a thing or two about throwing a good party myself,” Steven interjected with a coy grin. “Like the time I threw birthday parties for each of the Gems!”

“Oh yeah, I remember that,” Amethyst quipped, leaning against the young Gem. “You turned yourself into an old man and nearly kicked the bucket. Good times, good times…”

“Y-you what?!” Greg asked, alarmed as he looked to his son with clear alarm.

“Oh, don’t worry, Dad!” Steven reassured. “Everything turned out ok in the end! Well… mostly ok…”

“I feel like maybe I should be a bit more concerned with what goes on with you and the Gems when I’m not around…” the former rock star frowned worriedly.

“Guys!” Connie called out in a loud whisper, running up to the group from the other side of the shack. “Get ready! Soos is coming!”

“Ok, places, everyone!” Dipper exclaimed as they all rushed to hide behind the snack table, just out of view.

“Everyone, be QUIET!” Grenda shouted overtly, even if everyone was already in silent anticipation for the handyman’s arrival.

Fortunately, Soos was still in the dark about what was going on, quite literally seeing as how Candy had managed to blindfold him as she led him towards the party. “Alright, you promised a giant hummingbird, so I’m expecting to see a giant hummingbird,” the handyman remarked with an eager grin. Candy smirked as she exchanged a ready nod with the group peeking over the table, counting down before she yanked the blindfold off of Soos, allowing him to see the party for himself. “H-huh?!” the handyman gasped, somewhat alarmed as his smile instantly dropped.

“SURPRISE!” everyone shouted brightly as they jumped up from behind the table, rushing up to the very startled handyman.

“Happy birthday, Soos!” Mabel quipped exuberantly. “We’ve got everything you love: cake-flavored pizza, pizza-flavored cake-” Of course, as soon as she introduced these bizarre treats, Amethyst suddenly leapt onto the table, making good on her promise as she greedily and sloppily helped herself.

“…We’ll make more later,” Connie said stiffly after a moment of awkward silence.

“But for now, since you’re the birthday king, you get to wear these!” Steven exclaimed from atop Greg’s shoulders as he put a flashy crown on Soos’ head and a short red cape on his shoulders. “Dad made this awesome outfit suit for me and it brings me special birthday luck every year!”

“Eh, it’s just a little something I threw together after going to the craft store when Steven was a baby,” Greg shrugged humbly. “Still, I’m sure there’s more than enough birthday magic left in there for you, Soos.”

“O-oh… Well, uh…” Soos frowned fretfully, trying to avoid looking to the young Gem and his father as he looked to the cape on his shoulders instead. Still, no one seemed to notice his apparent discomfort as Mabel continued showing off the rest of the party.

“And we have one more treat for you…” she grinned, running up to the makeshift stage they had set up. She pulled the curtains open to reveal Toby Determined, clad in a tacky red leotard and a gaudy blue bow, tap dancing with an almost painfully awkward flair.

“Razzle dazzle, friends!” Toby exclaimed amidst his flashy dancing. “It’s the Razz-Dazzler! This is what my life has become!”

“I… I…” Soos attempted to speak up once more, his uneasiness growing more and more with each second, though he couldn’t really think of how to voice his many concerns at the moment.

“Quick! Everyone pose for the birthday smiles memory album!” Mabel exclaimed as all the kids rushed to do so.

“Ok, everyone, get in close and say ‘birthday’!” Greg grinned as he aimed the camera to snap the photo.

“Birthday!” all of the kids cheerfully proclaimed, though Soos oddly remained silent. Eager to see how the picture had turned out, they all gathered around to see it, though their excitement quickly diminished upon noticing that Soos was clearly frowning in what was otherwise a very happy photo.

“Soos, what’s wrong?” Dipper asked as everyone turned to the handyman, concerned.

“Yeah, don’t you like this super fun party we set up for you?” Steven asked with a curious frown.

“It’s, uh…  I-it’s nothing,” Soos quickly assured, though his deeply upset expression conveyed that it was likely anything but nothing. “I… um… I gotta go fix a pipe, o-or something…” Without sparing another word, the handyman turned on his heel and hurried off, his head lowered and his hands clenched into tight fists. Before he was entirely out of the vicinity, however, he did cast one more glance back over his shoulder, specifically at Steven still fondly perched upon Greg’s shoulders, before letting out a small, wistful sigh and disappearing around the corner of the shack.

“Huh, I wonder what’s up with him,” Amethyst remarked once he was out of earshot, the remains of the snacks she had eaten all over her face. “You don’t think he’s mad that I ate all his pizza cake, do ya?”

No one got a chance to respond to this, for amidst their worry over the handyman, Stan and Wendy happened to walk around the same corner Soos had just disappeared behind, both of them just as concerned. “Hey, did you guys see Soos?” Wendy asked the group with a frown, looking back in the direction the handyman had wandered off in. “What happened to—Oh, no,” She quickly cut herself off upon noticing the party, sharing an alarmed glance with Stan before she began to explain. “Ok, so you guys didn’t know so it’s not your fault, but Soos hates his birthday.”

“What?” the kids asked in bewildered unison, none of them understanding how anyone could despite their own birthday, especially someone who was usually so upbeat and cheerful like Soos.

“But why?” Greg asked, just as confused.

“It’s a total mystery,” Wendy said with a shrug. “I guess he’s been like this since he was a kid. Some weird personal biz or something.”

“There’s gotta be something we can do!” Mabel exclaimed intently.

“Yeah, isn’t there some way we can help him have a good birthday?” Connie asked fretfully.

“We’ve tried everything,” Wendy shook her head sadly.

“I even petitioned the government to have this day removed from calendars,” Stan interjected. “Because of that, I’m not allowed to fly on airplanes anymore.” The conman held up a mugshot of himself that was copiously stamped “banned” and “flight risk” to prove his point.

“Ohhhh, so that’s why they wouldn’t let me on that plane that one time I shape shifted into you!” Amethyst exclaimed with newfound understanding.

“Why were you trying to get onto a plan disguised as me in the first place?” Stan asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow at her.

“I had my reasons…” the purple Gem said with a mysterious smirk.

“Aw, I feel so bad about accidently upsetting Soos on his birthday…” Steven frowned sympathetically as the group peeked around to see the handyman morosely sitting on the porch steps. Soos let out another saddened sigh as he looked over a colorful postcard, though no one paid that as much attention as they did the fact that he was so depressed in the first place. “We have to at least try to fix this somehow!”

“I don’t know, guys,” Wendy said, somewhat doubtful. “He seems pretty down. Maybe we should just give him some space and leave him alone, you know?”

“No one should be alone on their birthday,” Dipper protested with growing resolve. “There’s gotta be a way to cheer him up. We just have to try harder!”

“You’re right, Dipper!” Mabel exclaimed with newfound enthusiasm, already coming up with a plan that would certainly succeed where their party had failed. “It’s time for us to bring out the big guns!”

The “big guns”, of course, were all based upon a guess the kids had made based on their investigation of Soos’ wallet earlier. And that guess was that the best way to cheer the handyman up would be with a good old-fashioned, rousing game of laser tag.

“Alright, guys,” Soos began as the twins led him, blindfolded once more, into the laser tag joint downtown. Steven, Connie, Stan, Wendy, Candy, Grenda, Amethyst, and Greg followed not too far behind, all of them wanting to join in on helping give the handyman a good birthday, even despite his mysterious disdain for it. “Blindfold me once, shame on you. Blindfold me twice—wait a minute,” Soos cut himself off, pausing as he got a better idea of his surroundings through his other senses. “Hot dog smell? Sticky floors? Future sounds?” Overwhelmed by curiosity, the handyman removed his blindfold, taking in a surprised, but excited gasp as he took in the bright neon lights and retro carpeting of the laser tag center. “Laser tag? I-I love laser tag. How’d you guys know?”

“Um, we definitely didn’t rifle through your wallet?” Mabel laughed awkwardly before Dipper elbowed her warningly.

“We just wanted to make up for… uh, earlier by taking you out so you can have some fun,” Steven smiled warmly. “And since you just so happen to like laser tag, we figured this would be the perfect way to do it!”

“Welcome to the year 8000,” the laser tag announcer’s bold voice suddenly blared out from the intercom, signifying the game was about to begin. “Society: collapsed. Fog machines: everywhere.”

“Whoa, if all that’s true, then it sounds like the future is gonna be my kind of party!” Amethyst exclaimed with a daring grin.

“Eh, I’m sure society will be just fine in the future,” Greg shrugged with a small laugh. “I mean, it’s not like some giant baby is gonna take over everything, you know? Still, I think they might be right about fog machines being everywhere…”

“Oh well, that’s good enough for me,” Amethyst shrugged blithely.

“Are these walls just mattresses spray painted purple?” Wendy asked as she poked the over-cushioned wall nearby.

“I think this place used to be a mattress store back in the day,” Stan remarked, glancing around the place.

“Uh, I-I don’t know, guys,” Soos said to the kids, frowning as they started putting on their laser tag gear. “I’m not sure if I’m up to this today.”

“Aw, don’t worry, Soos. Once you get in there, you’re bound to start feeling better!” Connie assured with a smile.

“Connie’s right,” Dipper agreed confidently. “As soon as you start playing with us, you’re gonna have a great time.”

“We promise, no matter what happens, we won’t leave your side,” Mabel vowed with complete sincerity.

“We’ll be like one big super laser tag team!” Steven quipped. “Together, we’ll be unstoppable out there!”

Soos hesitated for a moment, glancing towards the exit before looking to the kids’ hopeful, pleading expressions once more. And fortunately for them, he couldn’t very well resist them. “Well… I guess I could give it a shot…”

“That’s the spirit!” Mabel grinned encouragingly as the doors to the arena began to open.

“Prepare for laser battle!” the announcer exclaimed boldly. “In three… two… GO!”

With a unified cheer of excitement, everyone ran forward, laser guns in hand, into the fog-filled room. Soos and the kids brought up the rear, though the handyman paused a moment upon noticing his shoes were untied. “Wuh-oh. Better tie these cowboys.” Soos bent down to do so, as the kids ran on ahead without him, even as the room in front of them seemed to abruptly change. Instead of dark and foggy and illuminated only with neon lights, the kids found themselves entering a bright, almost sterile white space, which was oddly enough empty and bereft of all of the other players, save for two tall, muscular men clad in highly technological armor.

“Whoa, hold on a second,” Connie said as they all stopped in their tracks, confused. “Something seems a bit off here…”

“I know, right? This is even cooler than I imagined!” Mabel exclaimed, unfazed. “Look at how real these laser guys are!” To test the durability of what she thought was nothing more than a mere dummy, she kicked one of the men squarely in his armored crotch, which, oddly enough, lit up and spoke in a robotic tone once she was done.

“Kick deflected! Thank you for buying Digi-Cod, the smart codpiece!”

“Wait, what?” Mabel asked, aptly bewildered at this.

“I-I’ve never seen one of those that could talk before…” Steven remarked, unnerved as all four of them simultaneously noticed the wall behind them leading back to the laser tag joint’s lobby start to close up.

“Oh no! Soos!” Dipper called to the handyman as he hurried to join them, only for the room they were all in to abruptly disappear, leaving Soos alone as he ran into the regular laser tag arena.

Unfortunately, the handyman hadn’t noticed the kids vanish, which was why he was aptly confused and alarmed upon looking around the darkened arena, knowing that they promised to stick by him only for them to be nowhere to be found. “Mabel? Dipper? Steven? Connie? Dudes?!”

What Soos didn’t know was that, in a self-contained room that existed mostly outside of the flow of time, all four of the kids were just as adamant to reunite with the handyman, especially considering the unknown position they were apparently in now. “Hey!” Mabel shouted in protest, kicking at the hard, metallic white wall trapping them all in. “Let us out of here!”

“Nice try, but that’s solid time-tanium, kid,” one of the officers standing at the back of the room finally spoke up.

“Hey, what’s the big idea here?” Dipper asked petulantly, turning to face the stoic pair. “Who are you guys?”

“Yeah, and why’d you trap us in this super white, colorless room?” Steven asked, looking around. “Seriously, this place could use a new coat of paint. My vote goes to pink. Or blue. Or green. Or all three!”

“Steven, I think we should be focusing less on the color of the room and instead more on how to get out of the room,” Connie said, noticing that there were no apparent exits to the sealed chamber.

“That won’t be happening,” the other officer cut in coldly. “There’s only one way out of here.”

“And it’s through me!” a vaguely familiar voice called out, diverting the kids’ attention to the previously unseen third figure in the room. Only his head and hands were visible however, thanks to his camouflage uniform, something he was quick to notice and try to rectify. “Oh, uh…” he started fiddling with his watch in an attempt to get it to work as his suit shifted to show several different environments. “Sorry! Come on, come on…” he grumbled, getting increasingly more frustrated with his technology until he finally punched it, which somehow managed to get it to work, turning the suit back to its usual grey. “Aha! Through me! A-and that’s what it would have been like… i-if I had just gotten it right the very first time… B-but it’s still as effective!”

For a moment, all four of the kids simply looked to him in blank confusion, his face and voice not fully registering in any of their memories, though Connie was by far the most befuddled. “Who is that?” she asked plainly.

“I’m not sure…” Steven mused thoughtfully. “Though I think I’ve seen him somewhere before… But he’s just not ringing any bells…”

“Oh wait!” Mabel interjected. “He’s that time traveler guy! You know, the one from the fair?” she asked the boys, both of whom only nodded tentatively, remembering their time travel shenanigans that day, but not much about the time traveler they had gotten the device to do it from. “What did you say your name was again? Blendo… Blondin…”

“No, I think it was Blublin… right?” Steven guessed, exchanging a glance with Connie.

“Don’t look at me,” she shrugged passively. “I’ve never even seen this guy before.”

At this juncture, Dipper suddenly snapped his fingers, reaching what he assumed was the right guess. “Blar-Blar!”

“There it is!” Mabel nodded with a grin.

“Oh yeah, that sounds about right,” Steven agreed soundly.

“It’s Blendin!” the time traveler cut in fiercely, beyond frustrated at this point. “Blendin Blenjamin Blandin! How could you not know my name after you ruined my life?!” Once again, the kids were all mutually confused by this claim, eliciting another angry groan from Blendin. “Initiate flashback!” he shouted, pressing a button on his watch that projected a holographic clip that he petulantly narrated over. “It was after you stole my time traveling device to win your stupid pig and save your dumb lion! I was cast out of the Time Anomaly Removal Crew, my whole life’s purpose, gone! And then, I was given ten squared life sentences in time prison. I spent every day since then plotting my vengeance… and now, finally, the day I’ve been waiting for has come!”

“Uh, Blendin?” one of the time officers, Dundgren, cut in, interrupting the time traveler’s rant. “Didn’t you say you were plotting your vengeance against three kids? Because there are four here.”

“Uh, yeah,” Connie raised her hand a bit shyly. “I, uh, wasn’t really involved in any of this, so… can I just… go home?”

“No!” Blendin snapped, completely unconcerned with this fact. “I don’t care if we picked up one extra kid! Nobody’s going anywhere until I get my REVENGE!”

“Aw,” Steven interjected with a sympathetic frown. “We’re really sorry about getting you sent to prison and ruining your life and everything, Mr…. Mr., uh… What’d you say your name was again?”

“Blendin…” the time traveler growled, sending the young Gem an irritated grin.

“Blendin, right!” Steven exclaimed. “I’ll make sure to remember that for next time.”

“Look, what Steven’s trying to say is that we’re sorry,” Dipper tried again, much more succinctly. “But we’re in the middle of something really important right now.”

“It’s our friend’s birthday today,” Mabel exclaimed worriedly. “And we promised we wouldn’t leave his side. He really needs us right now!”

“What?” Blendin asked with a scoffing laugh. “You really think some dumb birthday matters right now? Do you even know where you are? Welcome… to Globnar!”

At this, the far end of the room suddenly shifted open, unveiling a sight from the future that made all four of the kids’ jaws drop simultaneously. Stretched before them was a massive arena, far more advanced and deadly than any of them had ever seen before. Within its high walls, a large host of combatant events were taking place, from portal fights, to clock battles, to monster brawls, to age-changing-blaster brawls. Of course, many injuries and casualties were resulting from these fierce duels, all of them quite violent and horrific in their own right and all of them enough to set all four of the kids on edge even more than they already were.

“Whoa… this looks like some kind of video game!” Steven remarked, somewhat impressed by how intricate and action packed it all was.

“Or a reality show,” Mabel added, just as intrigued. “Are we in Japan?”

“It’s gladiatorial time combat!” Blendin corrected hotly, nodding to the event’s latest winner and loser. “The winner gets a precious time wish.” The victor of the match held up said time wish, a glowing golden orb, with a triumphant grin as he looked down to his pleading opponent. “And then decides the loser’s fate!” Almost on cue, the winner lifted his thumb up, only to instantly turn it down with a grim smile. The loser let out a agonized cry as he was instantly disintegrated on the spot, leaving not a single trace behind. “And you four are officially challenged!” Blendin proclaimed, smirking down at the shocked, aptly frightened kids. “Dundgren!” the time traveler shouted as he walked off. “Get me my war paint!”

“Yeesh, you guys sure do seem to make some pretty crazy enemies…” Connie remarked to the others with an anxious frown.

“W-what are we gonna do?” Steven asked fretfully. “We can’t stick around here and fight in a futuristic battle to the death, no matter how cool that kinda sounds. What about Soos?”

“We gotta get out of here and get back to him!” Mabel agreed insistently, though her enthusiasm faded a bit as she took a glance around the seemingly impenetrable room. “But how?’

For a moment, all of the kids were at a complete and total loss over what to do to get out of the seemingly impenetrable chamber they were trapped in, as well as the impending, likely incredibly dangerous battle ahead. That is, until Dipper happened to notice a compact time travel device hanging from one of the time officer’s belts. “I have an idea.”

“Hang in there, Soos,” Mabel said as the group put their heads together to begin plotting their daring escape. “We’re coming for you!”

As the game of laser tag kicked off, Soos quickly found that, as alone as he was, he was essentially a moving target for all of the other players, something that likely wouldn’t have been the case if the kids were there to offer their support. But oddly enough, they were still nowhere in sight, much to the handyman’s growing distress. “Mabel? Steven? Dipper?” Soos called somewhat desperate, straining to catch a glimpse of the kids through the darkness and fog. “Requesting backup! Ah!” the handyman let out a startled cry as he was suddenly hit by lasers on all sides. “Oh! Oh no! Make it stop!”

“Ha ha!” Robbie laughed impetuously as he ran up to Soos, blasting a laser right into his chest piece. “Laser Robbie!”

“D-dudes?” the handyman nervously called for the kids again as he fled, knowing that today was only going from bad to worse.

Seeing as how Blendin had demanded that he have time to prepare for the upcoming Globnar battle, the kids were left with ample opportunity to carry their escape plan out. Much of it involved a two-fold distraction, which was why they split up to execute it, with Steven and Connie collaborating on one half while the twins carried out the other.

“Hey, Mr. Beldin?” Steven asked as him and Connie stepped up to the time traveler.

“For the last time, it’s Blendin!” he snapped in frustration, not bothering to glance down at the pair as Dundgren applied his war paint for him. “And what do you want?”

“Mr. Blendin,” the young Gem corrected as him and Connie both put on amicable grins. “Whatcha doin’?”

“Getting ready to take you four on in Globnar!” Blendin proclaimed with a broad smirk.

“Why?” Steven asked with innocent curiosity.

“Because you kids got me fired and sent to jail!”

“Why?” Connie asked inquisitively.

“How should I know? P-probably because you thought it was funny to watch a well-respected time official lose everything he’s ever worked for!”

“Why?” Steven asked once more, which of course only irritated the time traveler even more.

“Why what?! Nothing I just said was posed in a way that you could possibly have any questions about it! Y-you’re not making any time-sense!”

“Why?” Connie simply asked with a small amused grin as Blendin only got increasingly more angry and annoyed. At the same time, she sent a small, discreet thumbs up behind her back to the twins, signaling that it was time for the to enact their part of the plan.

“Oh my stars!” Mabel gasped overdramatically as she walked up to Lolph, who stood guard at the entryway to the arena. “Could it be? My little, uh…” she trailed off, taking a glance at the time officer’s nametag. “Lolphie! It’s me! Your great-great-great-” She paused for a brief second, sending a questioning look to Dipper, who signaled for her to keep going as he snuck around to the other side of the officer. “Great-great-great-” She finally did stop as he finally put a hand up. “-Great grandmother! From the past times!”

For a moment, Lolph simply looked down at Mabel quite skeptically, but sure enough, he ended up taking the bait as his expression lit up into a warm smile. “Gam gam?”

Relieved, Mabel continued playing along, making sure not to draw any attention to Dipper as he successfully managed to slip the time travel device off of the officer’s belt. At the same time, Steven and Connie continued distracting Blendin, their barrage of why questions replaced with basic banter instead.

“Look, I’m just saying, green is a super intimidating color,” Connie informed the time traveler.

“I’m shaking in fear just looking at it!” Steven quipped, putting on a faux frightened expression.

“You know what? I think you two are right,” Blendin grinned confidently as Dundgren applied green face paint on him. “Neon green is good, this is a good color for me. It’s fierce, a-and unexpected, and—HEY!” the time traveler suddenly snapped as he briefly stole a glance over at Lolph, or rather, at Dipper stealing the time travel device clean off of Lolph’s belt. “What?! No!” he shouted, catching the attention of both of his accompanying officers. “You can’t let them escape! Stop them!” With their distraction blown, Steven and Connie quickly rejoined the twins, despite Blendin’s attempts to catch them only ending in him tripping both himself and Dundgren.

“Gam Gam!” Lolph called after Mabel, shocked and hurt. “How could you?!”

“I ain’t no one’s Gam Gam, sucka!” Mabel retorted triumphantly as the four of them ran out of their captors’ radius.

“By the way, green isn’t really that intimidating!” Connie called back to Blendin, rolling her eyes. “It just makes you look like someone smeared baby food on your face!”

“Ugh! Don’t just lie there! Get them!” Blendin ordered the fallen officers fiercely, despite the fact that he was on the ground himself.

“H-hurry!” Steven urged as the officers picked themselves and started hurrying after them. “Back to Soos’ birthday!”

“Ok!” Dipper nodded in firm agreement, fumbling with the time machine as they all ran. “I think… I’ve… got it!” He pulled the tape out of the device somewhat haphazardly, though as the officers prepared to jump them, he didn’t have much of a chance to pay attention to the accuracy of the date they were going to go back to. Still, all four of them linked arms right as the tape snapped back into place, whisking them away from the future right before the officers could apprehend them once more.

The kids had expected to land safe and sound back in the present day in the laser tag joint where Soos would hopefully still be waiting for them. However, what they didn’t expect was to land squarely onto a mattress of all things, in a well-lit retail store as opposed to the noisy spaced-out décor the laser tag arena was known for.

“Huh,” Steven remarked as they all bounced down upon the mattress. “Well, that was a surprisingly soft landing.”

“Uh… are we back?” Mabel asked with a confused frown as she glanced around what should have been the laser tag joint.

“Oh no, look!” Dipper exclaimed fretfully, pointing to the store’s indoor sign. “You guys, the laser place is a mattress store! We went too far in the past!”

“Time travel, man!” Mabel huffed petulantly. “Why you gotta be so complicated!”

“W-well, this isn’t too big of a problem, isn’t it?” Connie asked, though before she could elaborate, Blendin, Lolph, and Dundgren just so happened to travel back to their exact time and location, landing just a few mattresses away. “Ok, now it might be a problem.”

“Hide!” Steven exclaimed just quietly enough that the time officers didn’t hear them. Before they could even be spotted, all four of the kids crammed underneath the mattress they had landed on before Blendin and his escorts jumped onto it.

“It looks like they overshot their destination by ten years…” Dundgren remarked, looking over the screen his watch was projecting.

“I-I don’t see them,” Blendin scowled, wiping off his face paint despite his bound wrists. “You better find those kids!”

“You’ll get your justice, Blendin,” Lolph assured with apparent sincerity.

“I’m gonna keep stammering until you find them!” the time traveler exclaimed, hopping off of the mattress and doing just that as he started to head out. “I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-”

“I hate that guy,” Lolph remarked to his partner as soon as Blendin was out of earshot.

“Let’s move,” Dundgren said, resolved. The pair preformed an impressive jump and flip over the mattress, landing squarely near the door and exchanging a celebratory fist bump as they walked out. The instant they were sure the trio was gone, the kids emerged from their hiding spot, hoping that they could continue to evade Blendin and his escorts that easily for the remainder of this misadventure.

“Ok, so all we gotta do is go forward ten years,” Dipper said evenly. “We can be back before Soos even realizes we were gone.”

“Uh… that might be easier said than done…” Connie frowned, nodding down to the time travel device lying on the ground nearby. Or rather, what was left of it.

“Oh no!” Steven gasped fretfully, scooping up its scrambled, disconnected pieces. “The time thingy! We must have broken it accidentally when we landed! How are we supposed to get back to the present now?”

“Dipper, you’re good with sciencey nerd stuff like this,” Mabel said, taking the pieces of the time device from Steven and handing them over to her brother. “Can you fix it?”

“Uh, maybe?” Dipper shrugged, someone uncertain as he looked over the broken device. “It’s worth a try I guess. But I’ll need some tools first.”

“Oh! I know the perfect place to get some!” Steven exclaimed brightly. “The carwash! My dad always has a few spare tools that he never uses lying around. I’m sure he won’t mind if we borrow a few. Plus, its super close to here!”

“Sounds like as a plan as any,” Dipper said as he led the way out of the store. “But let’s try to lay low until we get there. We don’t want to change the future. Or cause the future. I forget how this works exactly.”

“Whoa…” Connie remarked, somewhat amazed as they began to head downtown towards the carwash. “So this is Gravity Falls ten years ago?”

“Everything is samey, but also differenty…” Mabel mused, curiously taking the sights in, as the other three were doing as well.

While most of Main Street’s familiar buildings and businesses remained in place with what they kids were familiar with in the present, there was still a large handful of noticeable changes, mostly in the numerous familiar faces they happened to pass by. Tyler Cutebiker balanced a boombox on his shoulder as he leaned against the wall beside a billboard for the Gleeful auto mart, depicting Bud and a newborn Gideon, though the ad had been graffitied to appropriately enough, give the future child psychic with devil horns and a tail. A younger Vidalia walked past the kids, a grocery bag in one hand and Sour Cream, only about 5 or so, holding her other one. On a bench across the way, Lars and Ronaldo, both kids as opposed to their usual teen age, casually hung out, the latter enthusiastically showing the former a library book of conspiracies he had found, even if Lars was only passively impressed by it. He did non-discreetly look away out of embarrassment, however, as a younger version of Robbie ran by, chasing after Thompson with a water gun. They bumped into Mr. Smiley, bereft of his facial hair and sporting an afro, who scolded them for their recklessness, even despite his usual wide grin. As the kids turned a corner, they passed by a dance studio, where inside, Toby Determined was hard at work trying to get his “Razz-Dazzler” routine off the ground.

“A dah buh dee, dah buh dee do, yeah!” Toby sang, cheerfully tapdancing in his gaudy leotard. “Look out, Broadway, here I come!”

This confident proclamation was soon interrupted as Mabel suddenly banged on the window from outside, having watched the whole display. “This dream goes nowhere, Toby!” she shouted firmly but honestly.

“Aw, marbles!” Toby snapped his fingers in apt disappointment.

The kids continued heading for the carwash, still curiously observing all of the differences there were between the present they knew and the past they were currently in. In fact, they were so caught up in sigh seeing, that they didn’t even notice the trio of tricycles speeding towards them until they screeched to a narrow stop right in front of them.

“Oh, hey, look!” Steven exclaimed with a surprised smile, easily recognizing the trio of girls as younger versions of Wendy, Tambry, and Jenny. “Its-”

“Shhh!” Connie quickly quieted him, remembering how dangerous it could be to be so conspicuous in the past.

“Oops, sorry,” Tambry apologized to the older group of kids. She paused, however, as Wendy leaned over to whisper something in her ear, something that she didn’t hesitate to blatantly blurt aloud. “My friend thinks your cute,” she said to Dipper, much to Wendy’s immense embarrassment.

“Oooo!” Jenny chimed in with an amused laugh. “Wendy’s got a crush! Wendy’s got a crush!”

“Oh my gosh, you guys!” Wendy exclaimed hotly, shoving both of her friends off their trikes. “Shut up!”

In light of this rather awkward revelation, all Dipper could really do was let out a small, somewhat flustered laugh, his cheeks almost as red as Wendy’s currently were. “Uh, thank you,” he chuckled, glancing away from the younger version of his former crush. “I mean… you’re super young, so this is kinda weird…”

“Now you know how she feels, creep,” Mabel joked with a wry smirk, sharing an amused laugh with Steven and Connie as they moved on ahead.

“Heh, yeah,” Dipper said, his smile disappearing into stark realization as the girls continued on their trikes past him. “I—uh… wow… Wow…”

Fortunately, the kids didn’t run into any more familiar, yet younger faces as they made their way over to the carwash, which was mostly the same as it was in the present, right down to Greg’s recognizable van sitting in front of it. Since there was relatively little business at the wash, the kids managed to sneak up to the van, remembering that they were supposed to remain unseen (even if they had already been seen).

“Ok, it looks like the coast is clear,” Connie said, peeking out from the other side of the van to make sure the former rock star wasn’t roaming about. “Let’s go.”

Still being as discreet as possible, the kids headed over to the other end of the van, which, conveniently for them, was hanging wide open. “Remember, we’re only here to grab a few tools,” Dipper reminded seriously. “Then we’re going to get out of here before Mr. Universe or anyone else can see us, got it?”

“Got it,” Connie and Mabel nodded affirmatively, though Steven was easily distracted by what was sitting in the back of the van.

“Oh my gosh, you guys!” he gasped with an excited smile, holding a somewhat tattered pink blanket up. “It’s my old blanket! Ah, man, it’s been years since I’ve seen this thing! Mostly because Amethyst accidentally ate it when I was 6… But still, I used to take it with me everywhere!”

“Awww!” Mabel gushed, equally as enthused. “I bet you looked so cute carrying that blanket around when you were a lil’ baby Steven!”

“Yeah, I gotta admit, I was pretty adorable,” Steven grinned a bit bashfully. “But still, I am a little confused seeing it here. I mean, like I said, I used to take this blanket everywhere I went when I was little…”

“So, what’s so confusing about that?” Connie asked. “A lot of kids have security blankets when they’re younger, Steven. It’s not like that’s weird or anything.”

“Oh, I know,” the young Gem nodded. “But what is weird is that my blanket is here… but I’m not. Well, I mean, I’m here, but young me isn’t. And I have a feeling that’s not just a coincidence sorta thing…”

Before anyone could even come up with a guess for this confusing matter, the door to the wash swung open, revealing a slightly younger, albeit very frazzled Greg. “Steven!” he shouted loudly, his eyes wide and his expression conveying clear panic. Fortunately, he didn’t notice any of the kids as they were quick to slip around behind the van the moment the door opened, nor did he manage to spot them as he ran to the back of the van, wildly searching through it. “Oh man, now his blanket’s gone too?!” the former rock star asked in alarm, unaware that the future version of his son standing mere feet away was still holding onto it. “Ok, Greg, s-stay calm,” he reassured himself, running a hand through his thinning hair as he took a seat. “After all, kids randomly disappear every day, don’t they?” A beat of silence followed this guess, followed by another burst of fear. “No, they don’t! Oh, w-what if this is another crazy Gem thing no one warned me about? Can Steven turn invisible?! I-I don’t think Rose was able to do that… was she?”

“Invisible?” Dipper whispered, sending Steven a confused glance. “Steven, what’s he talking about?”

“I don’t know…” the young Gem frowned, taking a brief peek around the van at his distressed father. “I guess I was too young to remember-”

“I can’t just sit around here!” Greg exclaimed, leaping up from his seat with worried resolve. “I gotta find him, before he gets hurt! Or worse, before the Gems find out I lost him… Oh, boy…” The former rock star swallowed nervously as he took off towards town, shutting the back of his van and locking it in his wake. As soon as he was gone, the kids emerged from hiding, all of them equally as bewildered at what they had just overheard.

“Whoa, Steven, I can’t believe you just went AWOL like this when you were little!” Mabel exclaimed, impressed. “That’s so hardcore.”

“I… don’t think I did though…” the young Gem shook his head, tying his blanket to the van’s door handle so that it would be there when his father returned. “I can’t remember running away, and Dad and the Gems never told me I did… And I think that’s the kind of thing I think I would have at least heard about before…”

“Wait a second,” Connie spoke up, her eyes wide with realization. “Steven, what if the reason why your younger self mysteriously disappeared all of the sudden is because you’re here!? Maybe it’s against the laws of space and time for two versions of a person to exist in the same time and place, and that’s why the version of you from this time vanished! To prevent some kind of reality-shattering paradox!”

“Whoa, I hadn’t thought about that!” Steven gasped in amazement at this theory. “But wait… if I’m here, then were did young me go? And how am I still here if my younger self is gone? Ugh, time travel is so confusing…”

“That’s what I’m sayin’!” Mabel quipped, crossing her arms. “It’s super cool, but it makes your brain hurt if you think about it for too long. Though this does make me wonder if the younger versions of the rest of us are gone too… We should go and see!”

“There’s no time for that, Mabel,” Dipper rolled his eyes. “Honestly, this whole thing about younger Steven disappearing gives us all the more reason to get back to the present as soon as possible. Who knows what kind of weird, future-changing paradox us just being here could cause?”

“But we still have to fix the time machine,” Connie reminded. “And Mr. Universe locked the van. Where are we supposed to find any tools now?”

Fortunately, Dipper was quick to find a solution to their ongoing problem upon noticing the nearby sign pointing towards the Mystery Shack “I think I know a place…”

If the car wash was mostly unchanged from past to present, then the Mystery Shack was apparently ageless, as it looked nearly identical to how it appeared in the present as the kids arrived at its past counterpart. Conveniently enough, Stan was distracted with showing off his then-new wax museum exhibit to a group of tourists, allowing the kids to easily slip past him and enter the shack through an open window. And sure enough, the toolbox was in its usual spot underneath the unattended counter, the place where it would usually stay even ten years later.

“Aha! Bingo!” Dipper exclaimed with a relieved grin upon pulling the toolbox out. “Alright, let’s see here…” Despite his limited knowledge on how such futuristic technology functioned, Dipper got to work on trying to repair the time travel device, with Connie opting to help him out as much as she could. Content to let the pair work without interfering too much, Steven and Mabel instead curiously glanced around the shack of the past they were standing in, though it wasn’t long before their attention was diverted towards the vending machine. Or namely, the young boy about their age standing in front of it.

“Aw, c’mon candy, fall!” the kid exclaimed, banging on the glass a bit, only for his snack to remain stuck. Steven and Mabel exchanged a sympathetic smile at this, both of them wordlessly agreeing to head over and help the poor kid out.

“Allow me,” Mabel grinned to the boy as she walked up beside the machine. “You just need to know a guy on the inside. Bippidy-boop. Wop!” she playfully copied the method for knocking the machine open that Soos had demonstrated earlier that day, and sure enough, it worked perfectly. “Jackpot!” Mabel cheered as she reached inside the open machine to grab some candy. However, as she handed her load off to the boy, her and Steven both shared a shocked gasp upon seeing just who this boy was.

“Thanks, dawg!” the 12 year old Soos smiled warmly as he took the candy Mabel offered to him. “You must be some kind of genius!”

“Whoa, its Soo—uch a cool shirt you have on there!” Steven quickly turned his awed exclamation around upon remembering how fragile the past was. “I mean, a T-rex with an American flag? That’s so neat! And patriotic! I love it!”

“Oh really?” Soos grinned as he proudly glanced down at his shirt. “Thanks, dude. It’s my special birthday shirt! It’s nowhere near as rad as one up there, though!” He pointed towards the very same question mark shirt his future counterpart always wore, walking over to it and smiling admiringly, leaving Steven and Mabel behind, both of them aptly amazed.

“Alright,” Dipper said as him and Connie rejoined the pair with a now-fixed time travel device. “I think we’ve got this thing working.”

“It took a lot more nails that we thought it would…” Connie added. “And a lot more glue, oddly enough.”

“You guys!” Mabel exclaimed, her shock turning into a huge grin. “Look over there!” She eagerly turned both of them around to face the younger Soos, who was still distracted with exploring the shack to notice their shared awe.

“No. Way,” Dipper remarked, his eyes wide with disbelief over the coincidence of encountering Soos, of all people, in the past, especially considering the circumstances.

“Yes way!” Steven grinned excitedly. “How crazy is it that we’d find Soos here at the shack? It’s like destiny or something!”

“Or just really good, really strange luck…” Connie mused, a bit more reserved over the matter.

“Mi precioso!” an older, almost elderly woman called for Soos as she entered the shack. “You keep wandering off. You don’t want to be late for your big day!”

“Sorry, Abuelita!” Soos grinned, blithely hurrying over to his grandmother before exiting the shack with her.

“Big day?” Mabel asked once the pair had left. “This could be the birthday where that personal biz went down. We could finally find out why Soos hates his birthday!”

“Yeah! And maybe once we know what went wrong, we could do something to help Soos fix it so he can have a good birthday in the present!” Steven purposed enthusiastically.

“That’s… actually a pretty good idea,” Connie assented. “As long as we just go and see what’s up, without changing anything in the past.”

“Connie has a point,” Dipper agreed, glancing at the time travel device in his hand. “We can go and see what happened with Soos, but let’s be quick about it. And careful, ok?”

“Bro-bro, please,” Mabel assured. “Careful is my middle na-” She cut herself off upon accidently flinging her arms out, only to end up knocking a whole stack of bobbleheads over. “Oops.”

Knowing they didn’t have much time to clean the mess up, the kids simply decided to leave it as they slipped out of the shack without anyone paying them any mind. And they managed to leave just in time too, for right after they departed, Greg arrived at the shack, breathless and frantic as he hurried over to Stan, who had just finished directing his next tour into the museum.

“Mr. Pines!” the former rock star shouted hectically, catching the conman quite a bit off guard. “I need your help!”

“Greg? What the heck are you doing here?” Stan raised an eyebrow at his former employee. “What, did you get another semi-truck stuck in that wash of yours, because I already told you, I don’t know how to help you out with that.”

“N-no! It’s even worse than that!” Greg exclaimed anxiously. “Steven’s missing! I just turned around for a second—just a second—and when I look back over my shoulder, he’s completely gone!”

“So what?” the conman asked with a stoic shrug. “The kid probably got tired of watching you wash cars all day and decided to hit the road. Can’t say I blame him, I’d get bored of that too after a while.”

“Yeah, but that’s just the thing. It’s not like Steven to just… run off like this!” the former rock star stressed. “He even left his special blanket behind! W-what if someone, or something, took him!? After all, this town is full of all sorts of weird monsters and creatures; what if one of them ate him or something! Or what if he somehow floated up into space or something?! I mean, he is half magic, after all. Anything’s possible!”

“Geez, Greg, calm down,” Stan rolled his eyes, still largely unconcerned. “You’re acting like you lost your own head instead of just your kid.”

“I probably will end up losing my head if the Gems find out about this…” Greg remarked somewhat fearfully.

“Oh yeah, because the three nutcases who tried kidnapping him a few years back have plenty of room to get on your case about losing him,” the conman deadpanned as he began to head back into the shack. “Listen, Greg, I got a tour to run and gullible customers to swindle, so I don’t have time to help you look for your little ankle biter.”

“B-but, Mr. Pines, I-”

“Greg,” Stan paused for a beat, his tone firm, yet also almost strangely reassuring. “Relax. The kid’s fine. He’ll probably turn up in a few hours after he’s got this runaway thing out of his system. After all, kids never really go away, as much as you might wish they would…”

“I-I hope you’re right…” Greg frowned fretfully as he prepared to leave. “Still, I’m gonna keep looking for him, and I’m not gonna stop until my son is safe and sound! Wish me luck!”

“Yeah, sure, good luck,” Stan waved his former employee off dryly, not paying him too much mind as he opened the door to the shack, only for it to completely fall off its hinges. “Ugh, again?! That’s the third time this week! Note to self: send that no-good handyman of mine packing before the entire shack falls down!”

The kids made sure to stay a safe distance behind Soos and his Abuelita as they followed the pair home, or more specifically, to the festive birthday party that was just kicking off in the backyard. And even upon a first glance, it looked like it was quite the party. The entire yard was decked out with colorful balloons and decorations, and large handful of guests had turned out, most of them roughly around Soos’ age and most of them running around playing and enjoying themselves. Still, the kids made sure to remain out of sight as they quietly observed the party from behind a row of nearby bushes, paying particular attention to the younger version of Soos, who, oddly enough, seemed like he was in mostly high spirits, despite it being his birthday.

“Who’s a handsome birthday boy?” a young woman asked as she playfully pinched Soos’ cheeks.

“It’s you!” another woman chimed in, just as brightly as the boy let out an amused laugh while both girls headed off.

“Soos, you are such a lady’s man!” Abuelita chuckled as she walked up to the table with a large box.

“They’re my cousins, Grandma!” Soos stuck his tongue out jokingly. “Gross!”

“Look, mijo,” Abuelita opened the box with a wide smile to reveal a delicious-looking treat. “I got you a racecar cake.”

“Aw, nice! It’s just the one I wanted!” Soos grinned excitedly, cheerfully embracing his grandmother. “Thanks, Abuelita!”

“Man, I don’t know why Soos hates birthdays,” Dipper remarked as him and the others continued to watch the party from their hiding spot. “This looks great!”

“I know, right?” Steven smiled as he looked over the festivities. “This party looks like so much fun! I wish we could actually go to it instead of just watching it from the outside.”

“Well, we could,” Connie said somewhat sardonically. “But it would be at the risk of ruining the future for everyone here, including ourselves.”

A beat of awkward silence passed between the kids at such a heavy implication, before Mabel voiced the conclusion that they had all quickly reached. “Yeah, we probably shouldn’t…”

Back within the party itself, Soos cheerfully took a seat at the table, helping himself to the icing stuck to the racecar toy that had topped his cake. His innocent levity was briefly interrupted, however, as one of the party guests plopped down into the seat next to him at the head of the table. “Uh, sorry, dude, but could you move seats?” Soos asked the kid politely. “That’s the seat of honor.”

“Uh, who’s it for?” the kid asked, confused.

“Oh, well… it’s for my dad actually,” Soos smiled fondly. “I haven’t seen him in like… eight years. But he’s coming today!” Coincidentally enough, the doorbell happened to ring at that exact moment, something that Soos easily heard and instantly got excited over. “That must be him!” he exclaimed, hopping up from his seat as he quickly adjusted his party hat. Curious to see what Soos’ dad might be like, the kids followed as he ran to the front door, the four of them congregating around an open window to watch whatever apparent reunion was about to unfold.

“Alright, Soos,” the future handyman conditioned himself, taking in a deep, steadying breath as he prepared to answer the door. “Today’s the big day. Be cool. Be. Cool.” Steeling his resolve once more, Soos put on the biggest, most welcoming smile he could muster as he opened the door to greet his father, whom he hadn’t seen since he was very little. His father, who contacted him so infrequently, but whenever he did, it felt like a momentous occasion to him. His father, who, after years of waiting and hoping and dreaming, he was finally going to see face-to-face again after so many years.

His father, who, once again, failed to show up.

“Postcard for… Soos,” the mailman at the door said as he handed said card over to the confused boy before succinctly walking off.

Soos’ confusion soon sank into a frown as he looked over at the colorful postcard, which on the front, read “Hello! From New Orleans”. The message on the back, however, was what really concerned the future handyman as he turned it over and read it aloud. “Sorry, champ. Couldn’t make it this year. Real busy again. See you next year, for sure. Dad.”

A small, disappointed sigh escaped Soos as he finished, ashamed with himself for getting his hopes up so high only for them to be completely dashed yet again, just as they were every year. Upon realizing his father had stood him up once more, however, Abuelita quickly swooped in to place a comforting hand on his shoulder as one of his older cousins offered him verbal encouragement. “Hey, don’t sweat it, cuz. You’ll see him next year.”

“Heh, yeah…” Soos remarked somewhat morosely as he pulled out a shoebox filled with the countless other postcards his father had sent him in the past. All of them were from different places across the country, but all of them carried the exact same indifferent, largely empty apology, word for word. “Uh, I’m gonna go lie down. You party without me, dudes.”

“Wait!” Abuelita called out worriedly as her grandson sulked to his room. “What about your presents?!” To try and entice him, she pressed a key on the keyboard she had wrapped up for him, but even that wasn’t enough to get the dejected future handyman to stick around. The kids were quick to duck down under the window as Soos passed by it, but as upset as he currently was, he likely wouldn’t have noticed them there anyway.

“So that’s why Soos hates his birthday,” Dipper said with solemn realization. “It’s the day he realized his dad isn’t coming back.”

“That’s so sad…” Steven frowned sympathetically. “If we didn’t have to worry about the future falling apart, I’d go in there and hug young Soos right now!”

“So how much partying can fix something like this?” Mabel asked worriedly.

“I don’t think all the parties in the world could even come close to fixing this…” Connie shook her head sadly.

A moment of dejected pity and silence passed between the group, none of them knowing quite what to do to help Soos in such a difficult matter, as much as they all wanted to. Still, they didn’t get much of a change to even try and come up with any viable ideas before they were abruptly assaulted by a sudden blast of water, courtesy of a younger, but still just as unruly Robbie. “Heh, dorks!” he callously laughed at the expense of the somewhat annoyed older kids. “Young Robbie!”

Blendin was still largely seething over the kids escaping as his escorts led him through town in search of the four of them. And, unfortunately for Lolph and Dundgren, the time traveler made sure to make his frustration over the matter very well known.

“I-I can’t believe you two let those kids get away!” Blendin exclaimed hotly. “What kind of Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement officers to you think you are? Letting yourselves be outsmarted by four kids, kids from the ancient, backwards days of the 21st century, o-of all time periods! The century where they invented ‘emojis’ and ‘internet memes’! These are dark times we’re walking in, you two, dark times indeed.”

“I can snap your neck in 235 different ways and if you don’t stop talking then I’ll utilize 27 of those ways right here and now, all at the same time,” Dundgren threatened plainly, only needing to send the time traveler a warning glare to prompt him to nervously snapped his mouth shut.

The newfound silence was soon interrupted however, as Greg, still desperately searching town for Steven, happened to spot the futuristic trio pass by. “Oh, cops! Thank goodness!” he exclaimed with relief as he ran up to the group, stopping them in their tracks. “Officers, I need your help! My son’s gone missing and I need to find him! He’s young, about yea tall, wearing an oversized shirt with a star on it, and his name is Ste-”

“Sorry, sir, but we’re not those kinds of cops,” Lolph interrupted rather apathetically. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to be going.”

“W-wha-” Greg frowned in confusion as he looked the pair up and down, noticing their armored uniforms. “Oh, are you guys part of the FBI or something? That would probably explain those cool, futuristic eye pieces you got on there. Well, a-at least they look like something someone in the FBI would wear…”

“Ugh, we don’t have time for this!” Blendin growled in clear aggravation. “They’re not part of your archaic little ‘FBI’. They’re officers of the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron, sent from the year 207̃012 to help me capture four kids who I plan on completely and utterly annihilating in gladiatorial time combat!”

For a moment, the only thing the former rock start could do was stare at the perturbed time travel, aptly bewildered by what he had just heard, even if he didn’t buy it. “Yeesh, and I thought I was a mess…” Greg scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Are you ok, buddy? You got some… problems you need to talk to someone about or something?”

“I don’t have any problems!” Blendin snapped almost manically as he pressed on ahead. “Lolph! Dundgren! E-enough wasting time! We have to find those kids so I can have my REVENGE!”

“I’m still not entirely convinced I shouldn’t use those 27 neck-snapping techniques on him,” Dundgren remarked as they begrudgingly followed the time traveler.

“I say go for it,” Lolph stoically agreed as Blendin continued to angrily stammer ahead of them.

“W-wait!” Greg called out after the trio. “What about my son?!” Of course, he received no response from them as they simply went on their way, leaving the distraught former rock star alone in his search once again. “Well, I guess I’m on my own…” he shrugged as he continued looking for the missing young Gem as he did the only thing he could think to do at this juncture: call out for him. “Steven! Where are you, kiddo?! I’ll get you a whole bunch of Cookie Cats if you come home! Eh, who am I kidding? I was gonna do that for him anyway, but still. Come home anyway! I don’t know how much more of you being missing my poor blood pressure can take!”

Soos let out another glum sigh as he sat on his bed, the lights in his room turned off as he tried his best to block out the festive sounds of the party still going on outside. For as almost as long as he could remember, every single one of his birthdays had come with a promise from his father that he would be there to see him. And every single one of those birthdays had passed with that promise always being broken in the exact same way. And after her grandson go through this heartbreak and disappointment for the eighth year in a row, Abuelita decided she had finally had enough of it.

“Ay, Soos’ father is a deadbeat!” she hissed fiercely to herself as she stood outside of Soos’ bedroom, her distain for her son-in-law clear as she threatened him in Spanish. “¡Si alguna vez muestra su carota por aquí, se la voy a partir pieza por pieza!” Still, as frustrated as she was, she forced her anger to simmer down for the moment as she prepared to comfort her crestfallen grandson. “Soos!” she called with a soft smile as she entered his room, carrying a plate of cookies in. “I made you cookies shaped like dinosaurs!”

“I don’t want cookies…” the future handyman replied, glancing away bitterly. “I wanna see Dad again…”

“A-and he wants to see you too,” Abuelita assured as she took a seat on the bed beside him. “He’s just… busy…” Her expression darkened for a moment, knowing that whatever her son-in-law was apparently preoccupied with was likely nowhere near as important as his own son.

“Busy in New Orleans,” Soos remarked petulantly, pouting as he crossed his arms.

“Aye, yes…” Abuelita admitted hesitantly. “But trust me, mijo. You will feel better someday. I promise.”

“Eh, maybe someday…” Soos shrugged, not fully believing her. “But not today…”

Unbeknownst to the future handyman and his grandmother, the kids were still secretly eavesdropping from right outside the window, and after hearing this depressing exchange, all four of them felt even sympathy for Soos’ disheartening plight.

“Ugh, this is awful…” Mabel frowned as they all sank down away from the window.

“I know, right?” Connie asked, just as cheerless. “At first, I thought that whatever reason Soos had for disliking his birthday was something simple, like a rained-out birthday party, or an out of control clown. But this? This is on a whole other level…”

“We promised Soos a happy birthday, but how can we give him that now?” Dipper asked incredulously. “This goes way beyond anything any of us know how to fix.”

“W-well we can’t just give up!” Steven urged earnestly. “There’s gotta be something we can do to-”

“T-this way!” Blendin’s unmistakable voice shouted out from not too far away, startling all four of the kids, especially as the time traveler and his escorts arrived at the party.

“Quick! Hide!” Dipper exclaimed, and no one protested as they all jumped to their feet and hurried off to tuck behind the nearby bushes before the trio from the future could spot them.

“They’ve gotta be around here somewhere!” Blendin scowled as he glanced around, setting his sights on a tree a few feet away. “I-I think I heard them!”

“Freeze!” Lolph shouted, taking aim the tree with his blaster. Without any further warning, he fired, blowing the tree to bits and revealing young Robbie behind it, though he was quick to run off crying in fear over what had just happened. “I’ll trace their chrono-signatures,” the time officer ordered, unfazed as he went on to do just that while his partner continued to guard Blendin.

“Man, the sooner I defeat those kids in Globnar, the sooner I can win my time wish!” the time traveler expressed with an eager smirk.

“Tell you what I’d do if I had a time wish,” Dundgren remarked casually. “Retire early, spend more time with the kids-”

“Nya nya nya, with the kids!” Blendin interrupted impatiently. “Don’t you know a time wish can do literally anything?! Any impossible problem solved-” he snapped his fingers. “-just like that? I mean, just imagine the possibilities!”

“Whoa…” Steven mused having overheard this information. “Sounds like that time wish thing is pretty powerful…”

“Wait, you guys, that’s it!” Dipper exclaimed with a gasp of realization. “The time wish! If we defeat Blendin in that space battle…”

“Then we can wish that Soos’ dad came to his twelfth birthday party…” Connie filled in the blanks.

“And all of Soos’ birthdays would be fixed forever!” Mabel finished excitedly with a snap of her fingers. “Just like that!”

“Oh my gosh! That’s such a great idea!” Steven exclaimed, stars in his eyes, though his enthusiasm diminished into worry for a brief moment. “But do you really think we can win this Globnar thing?”

“Between the four of us, I’d say there’s probably a 50/50 chance,” Connie shrugged truthfully.

“Well, it’s the only chance we have,” Dipper said with firm resolve. “Besides, it’s for Soos. He would do the same for us.”

The others all nodded their intent agreement with this plan, all four of them more than ready to put themselves on the line for the sake of the kindly handyman they all knew and loved. And so, after taking a moment to harden their determination for whatever dangers lie ahead, the kids emerged from their hiding spot, ready to do whatever they had to to win that time wish. “Here we are, Blendin,” Dipper announced as they all headed over to the time traveler, their hands held up in abdication. “We surrender.”

“It’s them!” Blendin shouted, pointing the kids out to his escorts, who were quick to surround them.

“Freeze!” Dundgren ordered, pointing his blaster at them as he prepared to cuff them all.

“Careful,” Lolph cautioned his partner as he aimed his own gun at the kids. “They’re from the past. They might have powder muskets or slap bracelets.”

“Don’t worry,” Connie reassured evenly. “We aren’t going to trick you guys this time. Instead, we want to accept your challenge, ok?”

“Yes!” Blendin cheered fiercely. “Let the Globnar begin! Prepare… for GLOBNAAA-” The time traveler’s battle cry was abruptly silenced as Lolph pressed a button on his watch.

“Hey, turns out I can mute him.”

“Man, I wish we’d known that sooner,” Dundgren remarked dryly. All the same, the time officer out his time traveling device and pulling the tape back, instantly sending them all into the far distant future, leaving only the red screwdriver the kids had used to fix the other device behind in their wake.

By the time Greg had scaled the hill up to the temple, he was all but breathless, his energy completely depleted and his hope running very low. He had spent all afternoon frantically searching all over town for even the slightest sign of Steven, only for his hunt to turn up totally empty. And as much as he didn’t want to, he knew it was only fair that he report the young Gem’s baffling disappearance to his future guardians, even if he knew they’d probably never forgive him for letting it happen.

“O-ok, Greg,” the former rock star steadied himself as he approached the temple door. “Just be honest with them. They’ll appreciate that.” He took in a deep breath, pausing as he lifted his hand to knock on the gate. “Well, either that or they’ll beat me to a pulp, but… hopefully it’ll be the first one. Here goes nothing, I guess…”

Steeling his resolve one last time, Greg prepared to knock, only for the door to magically slide open before he could. Startled, the former rock star stumbled back, falling onto the ground as the Gems emerged from their temple, all of them standing over him looking quite confused.

“Ah! I-I’m sorry!” Greg cried prematurely, already shielding himself from the trio’s currently non-existent wrath. “I-it was an accident! I was just—Please, I-”

“Greg?” Pearl interjected, looking to the former rock star suspiciously. “What in the world are you babbling on about? And what are you doing here in the first place? And most importantly, where’s Steven?”

“Yeah, and why are you all nervous and sweaty?” Amethyst asked with a bemused smirk. “You just rob a bank or something? Cause if you did, you should’ve asked me to come along!”

“Wha—no!” Greg shook his head, still not picking himself up off the ground. “I… W-well, y’see… I just… I was at the wash and, uh… I was… A-and Steven, he… Well, he, uh-”

Garnet suddenly held her hand up to silence the former rock star’s anxious ramblings before summarizing what he was trying to say quite simply. “You lost Steven.”

“I, uh… Y-yeah… pretty much…” Greg admitted sheepishly, glancing away from the Gems out of shame.

“You what?!” Pearl asked in appalled shock.

“How did you lose an entire Steven?” Amethyst asked, just as bewildered. “I mean, I get that he’s tiny and everything, but he’s not that tiny.”

“I-I don’t know what happened!” Greg shook his head defensively. “One minute he was just playing in the back of the van like he usually does, and the next, he was just… gone! I’ve looked all over town for him, but I can’t find him anywhere! It’s like he just… disappeared into thin air! …That isn’t a normal Gem thing, is it?”

��It most certainly is not!” Pearl huffed, both alarmed and exasperated. “I can’t believe you let something like this happen, Greg! For all we know, Steven could be anywhere! We have to find him, before he gets hurt!”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do all day!” Greg protested, still quite panicked. “I’m worried sick about him! W-what if we can’t find him?! What if he’s gone forever? Or what if he’s-”

“Greg,” Garnet interjected once more, her tone as even and steady as it usually was. “Calm down. We’ll find him.”

“B-but how do you know-”

“Because I know,” the Gem leader adjusted her shades. “Now, take us to the last place you saw Steven.”

“T-the last place…” Greg calmed his tense breathing down a bit as he paused for a moment. “Oh! The carwash! Like I said, he was sitting in the back of the van. But… I already searched the entire place top and bottom for him.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to take a second look,” Garnet advised wisely.

“Well then what are standing around here freaking out for?” Amethyst asked, already running on ahead. “We got ourselves a Steven to find!”

For a moment, all Greg could do was stare at the Gems in disbelief as they led the way, his eyes wide with both relief and surprise that, while they were as upset as he thought they would be, they were still willing to help him look for the young Gem. Still, his shock didn’t last long as he scrambled to his feet, intent on finding his missing son and bringing him home safely. “Y-you guys! Wait for me!” he shouted, chasing after the Gems and nearly falling down the hill in the process. “Don’t worry, Steven! We’re coming for you!”

The very first thing the kids noticed upon their abrupt arrival in the futuristic Globnar area was that it was much, much larger than they thought it had been upon their first look at it. Then again, for the all of the varying events of the time combatant competition that were held within its towering walls, it only made sense that it was huge. The hundreds, likely thousands of seats lining the arena were all filled with an excitable crowd, all of them eagerly cheering and shouting for Globnar to begin, especially as its tributes appeared in the very center of the arena. However, this round of thunderous excitement was soon curtailed as a large panel in the floor of the far end of the area slid open. And from this opening rose the infamous, terrifying Time Baby himself.

The infant who presided over the future was massive, not just for a baby, but in general as he towered almost as high as the arena itself while setting in his floating, highly-advanced baby bouncer. Despite his chubby, youthful, baby-soft face, Time Baby’s expression was set in a cranky scowl as he appeared, instantly demanding the absolute respect of everyone in the arena. Well, mostly everyone.

“Aw, what an adorable baby!” Steven remarked with a bright grin amidst the crowds’ continuing cheering, which Time Baby was quick to put to an end.

“Silence!” he shouted, his voice unexpectedly deep and booming. An immediate hush fell over the arena at this command, save for one lone, still-ecstatic spectator, who was quickly silenced by Time Baby’s vaporizing laser vision.

“O-ok, I take it back!” the young Gem exclaimed fearfully upon seeing this violent display, the other three easily sharing his alarm. “He’s way more terrifying than adorable! Even if he is still pretty adorable…”

“Welcome, Globnar tributes!” Time Baby began, addressing the kids and Blendin. “I have a very important nap to get to, so let’s make this quick. You each have a chance to settle your time-feud through gladiatorial combat.”

“You will have until Time Baby finishes drinking the cosmic sand in this hourglass,” the robot accompanying Time Baby announced, holding a bottle shaped like an hourglass, filled with an unknown, sparkling substance.

Of course, like most babies, Time Baby protested as the bottle was lifted up towards him, stubbornly turning his nose up at it. “No!”

“Come on,” the robot urged, poking Time Baby’s cheek with the bottle.

“Ow!”

“It’s good for you!”

“Wah!”

“Get ready, kids,” Blendin sent a challenging grin to his four opponents. “When I get that time wish, you’ll wish you were never born. Or rather, you’ll wish you were born, because I’m gonna wish you were never born!”

“Wait, how would we wish we were born if we were never born in the first place…?” Steven frowned, confused. “Wouldn’t that mean we would have never existed or-”

“That doesn’t matter, Steven,” Dipper interjected somewhat dryly. “What matters is that we’re gonna win that time wish. After all, there’s four of us.”

“And only one of you!” Connie added, grinning confidently at the time traveler.

“And we have hair!” Mabel proclaimed proudly.

“O-oh yeah?” Blendin scoffed, offended. “Well… well I have training!” To prove his point, the time traveler grabbed a nearby energy spear, giving it a deft, skillful spin before pointing it right at the surprised kids. “What do you think I did all that time in prison?”

The kids exchanged a round of worried glances at this, their hopes that this would be an easy win somewhat lowering a bit. But even so, they couldn’t back down now, even if they wanted to. They were going to do whatever they had to to win this challenge, claim the coveted time wish, and use it to give Soos the excellent birthday he deserved. No matter what it took to get them there.

Upon finally accepting the bottle of cosmic sand, Time Baby pounded his large fist into his carrier, instantly gathering everyone’s full attention. “Let the Globnar… BEGIN!”

At this proclamation alone, the large leaderboard hanging over the arena lit up, showing zero points at the moment for both sides. The instant everyone’s handcuffs slipped off of their wrists, Blendin made sure to make it doubly known that the games were beginning with a fierce, high-pitched battle cry, one that kicked the events of Globnar off in full force.

Keeping in line with the rather chaotic nature of the future, Globnar seemingly had no rules or referees, save for Time Baby himself, who was much too focused on his cosmic sand to pay too much attention to the games. The contest itself consisted of a seemingly endless round of events, each different and more harrowing than the last. The first competition was a duel, held on the face of a rapidly rotating clock that the kids and Blendin were trying to knock each other off of with large, battling sticks. Initially, it seemed like Dipper and Connie had the upper hand against the time traveler in this, though as Steven and Mabel pitched in to try and help, Blendin managed to swat all four of the kids away, the rotating clock hand doing its job in knocking all four of them down, giving the time traveler the first point. The kids made up for it however in the next round, which was in the form of a light cycle race. At first, Blendin was confident that he would triumph in this too, but the kids quickly overtook him upon Mabel’s clever suggestion that they pop a wheelie, which, interesting enough, sped the cycle up quite a bit, giving them the win. Not all of the challenges were based on strength or speed though, as was the case with the round featuring time chess, which wasn’t too different from normal chess, save for the rampaging, bloodthirsty, clock-faced monster who suddenly interrupted the game halfway through. From there, the competitions and the number of points gained seemed to be a back and forth between both teams, with neither of them gaining any sort of significant lead. Through the “time line” run, to the time dog eating contest, to cuckoo clock suit combat, to a fight against a time shark and countless other events, the time traveler and the kids stayed neck and neck, with neither sign showing any signs of giving in or letting up, save for their shared wear and tear and general exhaustion after going through hundreds of dangerous events nonstop. Their penultimate challenge was to overpower and defeat a fearsome, clock-eyed monster, a struggle that both sides ultimately had to end up working together on, lest they all lose their lives to the frenzied beast. In the end, they managed to push the monster back and trap it in the door it had first emerged from, but not after a very close-call battle with it.

“Very good,” Time Baby voiced his approval over this success as he paused from his meal. “You have escaped the Cyclocks.”

“Yes! Blendin for the almost win!” the time traveler cheered, taking a glance up at the scoreboard. The kids also looked to it, a bit more fearfully as they saw the score was incredibly close: 763 points for them, and 764 points for Blendin. All it would take was one more point for them to either win the elusive time wish, or be wiped from existence entirely. It was a narrow margin to be sure, but all four of them were determined to overcome these daunting odds, regardless of whatever no-doubt incredibly perilous final event awaited them.

“There is only one final challenge for Globnar,” Time Baby began, boldly and dramatically. “An ancient game, thousands of years old, chosen for its exemplification of pure strategy. The ancient art… of laser tag!” With the mere mention of the game, a glowing maze materialized within the arena, with laser vests and guns appearing for each of the tributes. “The one who touches the victory orb first will win!” Time Baby decreed, pointing to the glowing golden orb resting atop the platform at the end of the maze.

While the crowd was going essentially wild with excitement over this final event, all the kids could really do was exchange a bewildered glance, none of them quite sure what all the fuss was about. “Laser tag?” Dipper raised an eyebrow as he looked down at the laser gun in his hands. “Seriously?”

“You know, considering how many times we nearly died in all those other challenges, I thought this last one would be a bit more… I dunno, deadly?” Connie remarked just as incredulously.

“Oh, I know it doesn’t seem challenging now,” Blendin smirked, holding his laser gun at the ready. “But just wait till they turn that fog machine on. Then you’ll be done for! You just wait until-”

The time traveler was abruptly cut off as Steven and Dipper opened laser fire on him from both sides, his vest buzzing with each and every single unseen strike, aptly aggravating him. “Man, this is the funnest challenge yet!” Steven exclaimed with an excited grin as he kept on shooting at Blendin’s backside. “No wonder they saved it for last!”

“You guys, grab the orb!” Dipper called up to Mabel and Connie, who had easily made it to the platform while Blendin was distracted. “Got it!” Mabel exclaimed as both her and Connie placed their hands upon the orb, showering the arena with a bright flash of light.

At the exact same moment, Time Baby at last finished off the last of his cosmic sand, tossing his empty bottle down as a loud buzzer rang. “It is finished!” he exclaimed before his robot gave him a gentle pat on the back, eliciting a small burp from him in the aftermath of his meal. Thunderous applause rang up from the crowd as the kids’ score instantly shot up to 999 points, much to their shared elation, and relief and Blendin’s immense panic and outrage.

“No!” he shouted fiercely, collapsing to his knees in defeat. “No! NOOOOOOO!”

“We did it!” Dipper exclaimed with an excited smile.

“This calls for a group hug!” Steven cheered warmly, pulling the others into a tight embrace that they were more than happy to return upon their triumphant victory.

“You have made victory in Globnar,” Time Baby addressed the kids as his bouncer hovered over to them. “Before I give you your time wish, tell us; what fate have you decided for the loser?”

“Oh geez…” Blendin muttered nervously, sweat pouring from his brow as he dreadfully awaited whatever sentence the kids had in store for him.

“Death!” Mabel suddenly proclaimed wildly before they even had a chance to convene on the matter.

“Mabel!” Dipper quickly scolded.

“Oops…” she frowned, somewhat embarrassed as she redacted her statement. “Kinda got carried away there…”

At this awkward juncture, the kids unanimously decided to huddle up and discuss exactly what they were going to do with the currently groveling time traveler. “Ok, so Blendin did try to wish us out of existence,” Dipper began. “But… it was kind of out fault for ruining his life in the first place.”

“Yeah, and he’s kind of too sad to be a real bad guy,” Mabel added with a small frown.

“Honestly, he seems more emotionally unstable than anything else,” Connie noted, glancing over her shoulder at the still-panicking time traveler. “And maybe just a little bit crazy too…”

“Well, maybe there’s something we can do to help him not be so crazy,” Steven suggested with an amicable smile. “After all, it’s the least we can do after getting him fired and arrested and everything.”

“You know what, Steven? I think you might be onto something there,” Dipper said with growing realization. “Maybe if we treat him right in the present, he’ll turn out better in the future.” The others all nodded in agreement with this concept, none of them really bearing any ill will towards Blendin, which meant none of them had any reason to dole out a cruel or even harsh punishment upon him. “Ok,” Dipper said, resolved, as they all turned to face Time Baby. “As long as you keep an eye on him, we’d like to set Blendin free and restore his position at the Time Anomaly Correction Unit.”

“And give him pretty hair!” Mabel added boldly.

“And a nice gift basket!” Steven chimed in brightly.

“So be it,” Time Baby nodded, not questioning their choice as he snapped his fingers and made it so.

Blendin gasped in complete shock as his handcuffs fell off, his eyes wide with disbelief as he looked to the kids. “W-what? You’d do that for me?” As the kids nodded, the time traveler’s bewildered expression widened into a huge smile, especially as a decent tuft of hair sprouted on his head and a colorful gift basket filled with various treats appeared in his hands. “I got my job back!” he cheered, overjoyed as he turned to Lolph and Dundgren standing nearby. “I feel like hugging somebody!”

“Remember what I said about being able to snap your neck in 235 different ways?” Dundgren reminded coldly.

“T-that I do,” Blendin was quick to back off at this, though he did reach into his gift basket. “B-bon bon?” he offered with a nervous smile, though thankfully for him, both time officers stoically, yet surprisingly accepted the treats without sparing him a word.

“Now, children,” Time Baby spoke up, playfully smooshing his cheeks together as he spoke. “What is it that you want for your time wish?”

Out of nowhere, a radiant glowing orb, the physical representation of the time wish itself, appeared, hovering down towards the kids, who were all mesmerized by both its beauty and power for a moment before they remembered the matter at hand. “Thank you,” Mabel said with a grateful smile. “But the wish… isn’t for us.”

“Not you? But then who?” Time Baby asked, clearly baffled. “Who is worthy to receive such power?”

Back in the laser tag joint of the present, Soos had just finally managed to slip out of the arena, breathless and distressed and disheartened, not from how many times he had been hit (which had been many) but from how he had been completely alone for the entire experience. And after glancing around the lobby for the missing kids, the handyman realized that perhaps it was finally time to throw in the towel on what was, sure enough, yet another completely miserable birthday. “Dudes?” he called for the kids one last time before letting out a dejected sigh. “Aw, who am I kidding? I’m not up for this.” His saddened frown deepened as he pulled a coin out of his pocket. “Heads I stay, tails I go home and make myself some dinosaur shaped cookies.”

As the handyman flipped his coin to help make his choice, he failed to notice the flow of time suddenly slow to a complete standstill all around him until the coin itself halted in midair in front of him. “Huh,” Soos raised a confused eyebrow as he flicked the apparently frozen coin a bit. “That’s… unconventional…”

His attention was quickly diverted away from the coin, however, as a bright flash of light appeared just a few feet away, revealing the kids and Blendin as it cleared. “Soos!” all four of the kids called in unison, all of them relieved to be back in their own time and even more relieved to see that the handyman as still there.

“G-guys!” Soos exclaimed in apt surprise over their sudden appearance as they all rushed to embrace him. “Where have you dudes been? I-I’ve been looking all over for you!”

“We’re sorry we left you hanging, Soos,” Dipper apologized with a regretful frown. “We got caught up in all this time travel junk-”

“Young me disappeared in the past!” Steven exclaimed, raising his hand. “Huh, I hope I made it back ok…”

“And there was a time cyclops-” Mabel continued amidst Steven’s musing.

“And a pretty interesting game of time chess-” Connie added with a wry grin.

“And don’t forget about the-”

“Time race!” All four of the kids exclaimed with a shared laugh of amusement over the wild ordeal they had just been through.

“But the point is,” Mabel said a moment later after they had all sobered up from their bout of levity. “Soos, we know how to fix your birthday!”

“Whoa, really?” Soos asked, his eyes wide with bewilderment and awe. “Wait. You guys did all that crazy dangerous stuff… for me?”

“Of course we did, Soos,” Connie said with a warm smile.

“Yeah!” Steven quipped enthusiastically. “You always do so much for us, that we figured we’d give you the best birthday present of all by returning the favor! Now, Bledon, show him what he’s won for being the best Soos in the history of the universe!”

“I’ve already told you, it’s Blen-” the time traveler cut himself off with a slightly exasperated sigh as he shook his head. “You know what? I-I’m just gonna let it slide this time. It’s not worth the energy. Anyway, behold, your time wish!” Blendin proclaimed as he pressed a button on his watch, unveiling the glowing time wish as it floated over to the amazed handyman. “The power to alter time, paradox free, in any way you choose!”

“We figured that the only thing that can really make you happy is meeting your dad,” Dipper suggested with a small smile.

“Then maybe that would make all of your birthdays better,” Connie added sensibly. “Including this one.”

“But no matter what, the choice is yours, Soos,” Mabel reminded, nodding to the stunned handyman.

“You… you mean I can finally see my dad, just by touching this thing?” Soos asked almost quietly, his tone hopeful but also somewhat conflicted. “And you guys battled through time and space just to get this for me?”

The kids simply nodded humbly at this, none of them really wanting to make a big deal out of the matter, even if it was quite momentous to the handyman. Slowly, Soos pulled the postcard his father had sent him ten years ago, amazingly enough, the most recent in a very long line of disappointments from the parent he had never really had a chance to know. But now, floating just a few inches in front of him, was the chance he had been waiting almost his entire life for, to meet his father, to know him, to maybe even have the relationship he always wanted with him. To say it had been everything he had ever dreamed of was an understatement. And yet… as he looked down to the four kids who had risked life and limb to give him this chance, the handyman started to wonder if that was really what he wanted after all.

“What are you waiting for, Soos?” Dipper asked expectantly, noticing the handyman’s hesitance.

“Yeah! Make that wish!” Steven cheered supportively. “Make that wish!”

Soos paused, stealing another glance down at the postcard before unceremoniously putting it back in his pocket. “Alright, here goes nothing,” he said with resolve before placing his hand firmly upon the time wish. The orb lit up with a bright, brief light, however, when it cleared, the only thing that happened was that the kids were instantly cleaned up from their arduous Globnar battle, their clothes neat and in-tact and their various cuts and bruises completely healed. And needless to say, all four of the kids were quite befuddled by this occurring as opposed to Soos’ mysterious father appearing.

“Wha—huh?” Steven frowned in confusion as he looked himself over.

“Wait, what happened?” Mabel asked, just as dumbfounded as they all glanced to the handyman.

“Bam!” Soos grinned contently. “I fixed you dudes up!”

“Wait, that’s what you used your time wish on?” Connie asked incredulously.

“But Soos, what about meeting your dad?” Dipper asked, not following whatever the handyman’s odd line of reasoning was. That is, until he explained it.

“Well, birthdays are supposed to be spent with the people who care about you,” Soos began with a soft, fond smile that briefly turned into a bitter frown. “But that dude didn’t care enough about me to visit me even once, let along fight monsters through time and space like you dudes. I mean, you had a gladiator fight, just to make me happy! I’ve been ridiculous about this whole birthday thing for a long time. Whoever my dad was, he can take a hike!” With a carefree smile, the handyman tossed his father’s postcard into a nearby trash bin before pulling all four of the kids into a warm embrace. “I know who my family is now, and it’s you dudes. Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever.”

“Aw, Soos! You’re so welcome!” Steven laughed heartily as they all returned the handyman’s hug. However, for as heartwarming as the moment was, Blendin was far from charmed by it as he observed it, completely shocked.

“Are you kidding me?!” the time traveler asked in appalled anger. “Do you have any idea what you just wasted?! Do you know how many have died to get that time wish, the wars that were started-”

“Oh, that’s not all, dude,” Soos interjected, the hug disbanding as he held up a slice of pepperoni pizza. “I also wished for this slice of infinite pizza. Watch.” The handyman took a generous bite out of the slice, which regenerated itself less than a second later. “And it can do that for like, infinity.”

The kids all voiced their impressed approval of this wish, and even Blendin could remain angry upon seeing it in action. “Ok, phew,” he remarked, relieved as he prepared to make his return to the future. “T-that’s a good time wish.”

“You know,” Soos said with a growing smile as he turned to the kids once more. “There’s still ten minutes before laser tag closes. You dudes wanna play?”

“Yeah!” all four of the kids chimed in excited unison, laughing along with the handyman as they ran into ran into the laser arena. All the while, they wished Soos cheerful birthday wishes, which, for the first time in ten years, the handyman was more than happy to accept.

“O-ok!” Greg exclaimed breathlessly as he ran up to the van, the Gems following just a short distance behind him. “So like I said, he was sitting right here inside the van, just minding his own business when he disappeared.”

“So you gonna open the van up and let us see or not?” Amethyst asked impatiently, her hands on her hips.

“R-right!” Greg fumbled for his keys, quickly unlocking the van doors. “But I’m telling you guys, he’s not in there! I don’t know where he could be, and I-I feel like such a terrible father for losing him, and-”

“Hello, Steven,” Garnet greeted the young Gem with a soft smile as Greg pulled the van doors open.

“Huh?!” the former rock star let out a shocked gasp as he turned to see his young son, sitting in the exact same spot where he had vanished from, content and cheerful as he played with his favorite blanket.

“Hi, Daddy!” Steven exclaimed with an upbeat smile.

“Steven!” Greg cried as he quickly swept his his formerly missing son into a tight embrace. Overwhelmed with relief as he was, the former rock star couldn’t very well hold his tears back as he let out a small, though still quite frazzled laugh. “Oh thank goodness you’re ok! Where have you been, buddy? I’ve been looking all over for you!”

“I dunno,” the young Gem shrugged innocently.

“Still in that ‘I dunno’ phase, huh?” Greg smirked, wiping his tears away as he turned towards the Gems. “Look who’s here to see you, Steven!”

The Gems all offered kindly smiles and waves to their future ward, who perked up with instant excitement upon seeing the trio. “Hi, Garmet! Hi, Amest! Hi, Pearl!”

“Well, at least he still knows how to pronounce my name correctly,” Pearl remarked with a satisfied, somewhat smug grin.

“What gives, Greg? Were you trying to pull some kinda lame prank on us or something?” Amethyst asked, raising an eyebrow at the former rock star. “Cause if it is, I’ve seen way better.”

“N-no, this wasn’t a prank!” Greg protested defensively. “Steven really was missing! And I don’t know how he ended up back in the van, seeing as how I locked it up tight before I left. It’s like magic or… or some sort of weird time paradox thing or something.”

“Greg, please,” Pearl scoffed, rolling her eyes. “It’s bad enough that you want us to believe that Steven mysteriously vanished into thin air for several hours, but to blame it on something as silly and inconceivable as a time paradox? Now that’s just ridiculous.”

“B-but… but I-”

“Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to be getting back to the temple,” the white Gem said, promptly turning to head on her way, but not before bidding the young Gem a fond farewell. “Goodbye, Steven!”

“Yeah, Bye, lil’ Steven!” Amethyst called, following after Pearl.

“Bye, Amest! Bye, Pearl!” Steven waved after the pair brightly, even if Greg was still somewhat shell-shocked as they left. The former rock star let out a long, exhausted sigh as he took a seat in the back of his van, setting Steven down to sit beside him. Garnet lingered behind for a moment, her arms crossed and her expression as casual as ever as she waited for Greg to speak his mind on the matter. “Aw, geez…” he muttered, running a hand through what was left of his hair. “What am I doing? I worry about this kid day and night, and I do everything can to keep him safe and happy and he still randomly disappears on me! Maybe… maybe I’m not really cut out for this dad thing after all…”

“Greg,” Garnet spoke up after a beat of silence, placing a reassuring hand on the former rock star’s shoulder. “Don’t sell yourself short. You may still be new at this, but if it’s any consolation, so are we. You spent all day looking for Steven, and I’m willing to bet it was all worth it come back here and see him safe and sound.”

“It… it really was…” Greg sighed once more, smiling fondly as he glanced over at his young son, distracted with his blanket, but unharmed and happy all the same.

Garnet smiled at this as well as she adjusted her shades. “You may still be new at this, but if it’s any consolation, so are we,” she said, her tone completely sincere. “And for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a great job at this whole ‘dad thing’. If she was still around, Rose would be very proud of you.” She paused, her smile widening a bit as she reached over to tussle Steven’s hair gently, eliciting a light laugh from the young Gem. “Proud of both of you.”

“Thanks, Garnet,” Greg said with an allayed, grateful grin. “After the day I’ve had, I think I needed a pep talk like that.”

“Anytime,” Garnet nodded with a small smirk before making her exit by leaping off to catch up with her teammates.

“Bye, Garmet!” Steven called after her, waving up at her as she leapt high into the air.

“Well, my little disappearing Sto-ball,” Greg grinned as he gave his son a playful tickle. “I think it’s time you had your bath, isn’t it?”

“I dunno,” the young Gem shrugged blithely.

“Heh, I wonder when you’re gonna grow out of that one,” the former rock star chuckled as he picked his son up. “Probably around the same time I figure out what happened to you today, huh?”

“I dunno,” Steven quipped cheerfully.

“Yeah,” Greg shook his head with an incredulous smile as he held Steven a bit closer, both out of nerves and out of abundant relief. “Me neither, son. Me neither.”

“I still can’t believe Greg roped us into playing along with that little charade of his,” Pearl huffed, disgruntled, as her and Amethyst headed back towards the temple, Garnet trailing not too far behind them. “All that time wasted on going over there, and for what? For Steven to be completely and utterly fine!”

“Tell me about it,” the purple Gem groaned, rolling her eyes. “I mean, at least when we tried hiding Steven from Greg, we actually took him somewhere and didn’t just him sitting around all bored or whatever. G-man should have stepped up his game if he really wanted us to flip out.”

“Cut him some slack, both of you,” Garnet interjected patiently, pressing ahead to join her teammates. “He’s trying, just like all of us are.”

The other two Gems surprised their frustrations for the most part at their leader’s chastisement, even if they still did grumble a few of their complaints about the situation while they were passing by the Mystery Shack.

Ironically enough, around the same time as the Gems were walking past the shack, Soos wandered onto the property himself, having found a mysterious screwdriver lying in his yard after his birthday party ended. The tool had the shack’s label branded onto its side, and while he didn’t know how it had ended up in his yard, the boy decided it was only right to return it to its proper home.

Soos was ready to do so by finding the shack’s proprietor, but before he could even head inside, said proprietor emerged from the museum door, absolutely livid as he roughly threw his employee out into the yard. “That’s it!” Stan yelled, outraged. “You are singlehandedly the worst handyman I’ve ever seen! Now beat it before you end up breaking another piece of my property!” The conman watched with a hostile glare as his former employee scrambled away in fear, leaving Stan to let out an exasperated sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ugh, I knew I should’ve never let Greg go…”

“Uh, hey,” Soos spoke up somewhat timidly upon seeing this display, but all the same, he approached the conman. “Excuse me, sir?”

Stan snapped his attention over to the boy, giving him a somewhat caustic, unimpressed expression as he looked him up and down. “Hey, you, gumdrop,” he remarked dryly. “Think you can fix a golf cart?”

“Well, uh, I don’t know if I-”

“Boom,” Stan snapped his fingers, not needing to hear any more as he tossed an oversized shack staff shirt at Soos. “You’re hired. One size fits all.” The conman had no more words to spare for the somewhat confused boy as he went on to greet the crowd of tourists that had just arrived at the shack. “Step right up to the Mystery Shack, folks! Step right up!”

Needless to say, Soos was somewhat bewildered as he pulled the shirt off of his face, shocked that he had been hired at his first job ever just like that and on his birthday no less. His grandmother would certainly be proud to hear about this, likely claiming that it was a sign of him growing up and becoming a man in his own right. But Soos hardly cared about that at the moment as he looked over to his new boss, who, from the first, relatively short impression he had given off, seemed gruff and stoic. And yet, despite his apparent cynicism, Stan had decided, for whatever reason, to give Soos a chance, which, ironically enough, was something his own father had never really reached out to give him before. And while he didn’t know where this chance might lead or what might someday come of it, it was a chance that the newly hired handyman was more than happy to take.

Next: 

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW29 - Alon Wildcard Edition

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

LATE AS FUCK ALON ON WILDCARD EDITION... hopefully still interesting to read even if it’s this late. What do you think of Alon’s team???

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Patrício and Jiménez

IN: Heaton and Callum Wilson

Operation fuck Wolves off to hell begins a week earlier than I had anticipated. Of course Rui is dropped because why wouldn't he be dropped the gobshite. I don't have enough in the bank to get any GK except for Boruc which feels like a potential disaster waiting to happen. Bego was bad but they've been bad lately so who knows if he keeps his place over the next handful of fixtures. Not a place I want to be... I don't really care about losing Jim this weekend since they are shit and I hate him. Getting rid of guys I hate to guys I don't hate will at least make me feel happy...I think. Gambling on Howe the liar here a bit, but I'll be benching Callum this weekend anyway and will just hope that he's on the bench which would position him well to start next GW at Huddy. This effectively kills any plan to get Higz in but so be it. I think this is my best play.

GK:

Heaton (CRY)

NOT RUI!!!!! YES! Tom unfortunately goes against my team but it's still a relatively decent on paper home fixture and they have had great underlying defensive stats since he came back into the team. And I love him. Go on Tom you beauty.

DEF:

Robertson (eve)

Robbo the hero is an easy start. Not much to say about the boy.

Lascelles (whu)

Jamaal has a bit of a tricky one away to Wet Spam but not really going to overthink it and roll him out while they are on song.

Wan-Bissaka (bur)

Finally, 1b is back baby and straight into my XI. Not a great fixture but fucking fuck me if you think I'm starting Bennett instead of him. Not going to happen ever again.

MID:

Salah & Mané (eve)

All my money still in mid on display this weekend. Mo and Mane remain and it's silly to expect anything other than Livp completely doing Everton on Sunday. Maybe they will score 5 and Mo won't blank. Would be novel.

Son (ARS)

Private corporal Suon is a lad I will remain patient with. Don't know what to expect in the NLD but he's still a quality player and can bang in any game. Not expecting a ton but he still feels fine.

Pogba (SOU)

Paul has a home banker and should be good for some points.

Sterling (bou)

Finally, Raz goes to his favorite place on earth, Bournemouth in what should be a bloodbath. Raz has low key started 1 game in the last 4 gameweeks so...he owes us.

FWD:

Rondón (whu) & Barnes (CRY)

Running out big Sal and Smashley this weekend. Was originally planning to bench Barnes for Jim but the transfers forced my hand. Not expecting loads from these two this weekend but the fixtures aren't diabolical so who knows. Seems fine.

BENCH:

Bennett (CAR)

Wilson (mci)

Chambo (lol)

CAP:

Sterling (bou)

Raz obv. Rested and ready to fuck. Go get 'em Razzybaby.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

A MILLION TRANSFERS VIA WILDCARD

GK:

Heaton (CRY)

I went with Tom... Was on Alisson for a lot of tinkering, was on Ederson for a bit of tinkering, and eventually it came down to Dubravka and Boruc vs. Tom and Guaita and I went with the latter.. the fixtures in my opinion and underlying stats for Burnley (Burnley 4th in NPxGA since Heaton returned and Newc are for 15th in same period), are both a lot better then Newcastle, and Burnley 100% don’t blank in GW33 like Dubravka might do... Also I love the synergy with Guaita where A. I will bench Tom in GW30 when he goes to Anfield and Guaita is home to Brighton in their derby, and B. if Palace beat Watford in the cup then Palace will have a double in GW35 and that will be nice for me to have a doubling GK without having to make a transfer for it!

For this week Palace have been buozzin around a bit scoring some goals with Bats in and Wilf back to his old ways but I’m hoping at home Burnley can maybe do a job or at least rack up saves.

DEF:

Trent & Matip (eve)

Made sure that I was at least doubling up Liverpool defense and here we are now, entertain us... I don’t think that Trent needs any sort of WC explaining at all so skipping the scouse legend and onto the very under the radar Matip... Very quietly Matip has started 6 straight in the league (more if you include other comps) and is looking good in a partnership with VVD. He’s even looking dangerous on some set plays and some runs forward (like that dribble vs. Man. United)!... As for Gomez Klopp said the earliest he would come back is after the intl. break which would be GW32 when I’m FHing anyway, and Lovren should be back to training after this GW but I do not think that Matip will just straight up get dropped for no reason to go back to Lovren with this long of a spell out for Lovern and in for Joel... If I do need to get rid of Joel in GW33 or GW34 or GW35 then I will either go to the Liverpool CB who took his place or I will go to a defender who doubles in GW35 and both of those things are very easy to do.

Love the Joel pick and can’t wait for him to score vs. Everton to really hammer home how good a pick he is. Double Liv defensively every week is fantastic and in the derby it’s no different.

Luiz (ful)

This spot (let’s be honest, every spot) was also back and forth between different guys... A little Chilwell a little bit of this a little bit of that I don’t know... Settled on Luiz who we shouted on pod as simply just a really good pick for the rest of the season. In GW34 Chelsea are at Anfield and in GW36 they are at Old Trafford and every other match (and they don’t blank) is a good cleanable fixture. Luiz is a very solid pick and I’m happy to be on board there.

This week they get to go fuck Fulham sideways... Maybe new manager bounce will Fulham dudes titting and totting at Craven Cottage but meh, if Chelsea can just pay attention for 90′ they should keep an easy clean and destroy Fulham.

Lejeune (whu)

And Lejeune one of four dudes to actually stay in my team from the pre-wildcard lineup and that’s because he does a great job and has pretty decent fixtures and might not blank in GW33, does not blank in GW31.

Not the best of fixtures this week away to Hammers but they are still pretty damn injured and they are a bit outta form, West Ham... I’m hoping Newc can keep their good defensive form up and put in another cleanie. I’m starting Lejeune over Brooks (who may not start and has City) so hopefully it pays off. Go on Newc.

MID:

Salah (eve)

Easy Mo, I think ya gotta keep him in the end even with the derby usually being scrappy and low scoring I still think Mo is just a great pick with the fixture run and will repay the faith as he always does eventually... And one other thing we didn’t mention on pod that I was talking about all day on Slack and other pods backed me up is that despite a Mo blanking on a 5 goal day for Liverpool - he was fucking brilliant. Had an absolutely terrific match in progressing the ball, buildup, taking on their shitty LB, hockey assists, he hit the post, all that shit... Just not FPL stuff. Hopefully can build on the uptick of form and take his chances this time.

Sterling (bou)

Raz back was one of the key cogs on why or why not I was gonna WC and here we are. Raz the fuck in. Rested last week should be straight back into starting 11 this week and flying as per usual against garbage ass Bourney.

Pogba (SOU)

Kept Paul as well. Mainly because of this fixture this week, phenomenal fixture. And then I’ll start figuring out how and when to deal with him and his blanks... in my plans right now it will be Paul and Kun out for Haz and Higs on GW31 but we’ll see.

FWD:

Aguero (bou)

Kun in I mean. How could I not get Kun....??!??!? Yeah he might get rested this week but it’s still Bourney so 30ish minutes is still very much on for points for him and then next week on a full week rest he has home Watford and is the by far standout captain for that. The form and sex appeal are too much to ignore for me.

Barnes (CRY)

Template guy, non-blanker, extremely good numbers, mostly good fixtures. Not much thinking here.

Palace are tough and get AWB back but they’ll still be starting some fuck face next to Tomkins whether it’s Kelly or Dann to exploit. Not the same tight ship as before.

Rondón (whu)

Another big template bandwagonny guy he’s just good and also mostly has good fixtures. No blank in GW31 and maybe a blank in GW33 but NBD if he does I have plenty of guys. It’s gonna be great.

West Ham’s defense is diabolical so I’m hoping they continue to be themselves and Sal pops off. But Newc away vs. Newc home is a very different kettle of fish so we’ll have to see what’s up.

BENCH:

Brooks (MCI)

I like Brooksy a lot and 5.0 is an absolute joke of a price... Even though he rides the pine this week, Bournemouth have the best fixtures from GW30 through the end of the season of any team in the league. Absurd run and Brooks will hopefully keep titting in there.

McNeil (CRY)

Despite getting subbed early last week - for a cheap 5th mid spot who doesn’t blank in 31 or 33 McNeil is still by far the best from where I’m sitting... He’s been bright and should keep getting chances to make stuff happen. Good kid.

Schindler (BHA)

Piece of shit gets to stay in my team... That’s just the way the cookie crumbles........ Schindy is the cheapest nailed guy who doesn’t blank in GW31 or GW33. That’s it. Just cheap, just nailed, and otherwise a bad pick. There is literally nothing else that you need to know about Schindy and Huddy.

And backup keeper Guaita (bur)

Like I wrote in the Tom section he fits really well with Heaton so I’m very happy to combine the two there. And he’s still dirt cheap... Even though Palace defense should be slightly worse with no Mama it’s still pretty good and definitely capable of getting some cleans with the way Woy sets’em up so, yeah, ok, get in there. Back on the Guaita train...

CAP:

Sterling (bou)

Easy Raz easy life. This should be a thrashing and Raz should be nailed for this week. Didn’t really consider anybody ahead of Raz.

[rustedsteele]

I want to see what happened when Sephyr dies at the end of his long life! Who's surrounds him when he finally passes away? What does he take away from living?

The penthouse had been quiet that day. As yet Sephyr hadonly seen the nurse, checking in on his as she did every single morning. Hisshallow breathing served as the only sound in the room and in that moment hedesperately wished he could reach the radio by the window. He groaned slightlyat the thought of even trying to get up, his head lulling against the softpillow at the top of the hospital-grade bed. His cool blue eyes feel shut as hetook a long breath in. He hadn’t been sure until the week before that it wastime, but it most certainly was. He couldn’t walk on his own, this was no kindof life.

Sephyr Steele had made the decision a week ago to end hislife. He had first approached his long-time friend, Baxter and explained thatif he wasn’t able to get out of bed under his own power, he did not want tocontinue living. As if by instinct Baxter had tried to talk him out of it, butrelented at the sight of pain in the Rock Star’s eyes. He truthfully looked asthough he had already given up and in truth, he had. Eventually Baxter agree,allowing him to choose the way in which he would like to go. Sephyr opted foran overdose on his former drug of choice, as he did not qualify for assistedsuicide. Baxter agreed to allow it, if Sephyr could keep his name away from it.The Rock Star of course already had a source, so a date was set.

It was that morning that he had wondered to himself if hereally was ready. In only a few short moment his friends and family wouldarrive to say their good byes and Sephyr could feel the anxiety building in hischest at the thought. He had never been one for good byes. They did not sitwell with him. He knew of course that he owed this to them. At the very leasthe owed them the chance to say good bye to him. Closure for some, like Finn andBaxter. Those were the two he looked forward to the least. Despite the doubt,he knew he was indeed ready. Letting go now, on his terms. The best endingSephyr could have asked for.

As he thought to himself, he almost failed to notice thefront door opening. From where his bed had been moved he couldn’t see the door,but he suspected that it was the sound of Baxter letting everyone inside. Itwas about that time. He had sent out text messages, letting everyone know heneeded to see the ‘one last time’. Everyone of course knew that it meant. Hehad been kinder to Finn, explaining it in person. The twenty-one year old hadtaken it better than Sephyr had expected. His son knew that the old man wouldnever survive being bed ridden anyway. As the footsteps and low chatterapproached the door, he tipped the bed up into a sitting position, slightlyashamed of how weak he looked now.

The first figure to step through the open bedroom door wasof course Finn. The young sandy-blond man stepped up beside his father’s bed,leaning over to kiss his forehead. “Hey pop.” He muttered out, sadness clearlyringing through his tone. No one wanted to know that the moment they left,their parent was going to die. Truthfully, the Rock Star understood.

“Hey Kiddo.” He replied somewhat weakly, reaching over topat the younger man on the shoulder. “Gonna be alright?”

“About as alright as anyone here.” Finn explained, gesturingto the surprising crowd of people who had gathered around the bed. Some withmoderate success, being pushed to the fringe of the crowd. “Bet you didn’tthink everyone would show.”

“Seems silly.” Sephyr hummed. “All you fuckers takin’ timeout t’ come down an’ say good bye to this old ass washout.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Came a voice from the foot of the bed,and Sephyr glanced over to look at the source. Sawyer Thulus.

“Oh don’t worry. I will.” Sephyr laughed. Sawyer seemed muchless amused.

“Dude, are you for real? Don’t.” The security guard’s eyesmoved to the sheets at the end of the bed and very suddenly, Sephyr feltterrible.

“Sorry.” He muttered out as the rest of the group closed in.

“So how is this going to work.” The ever realistic voice ofBaxter came. “Because I’d hazard a guess that Sephyr would like to keep this abrief as possible.”

“I would.”

“Very good, sir. Please select someone to-“

“Baxter?” Sephyr interrupted.

“Sir?”

“If you could, because this is my last day and all, just-just not call me Sir?”

“Oh course, Mr. Steele.” The Valet said, a cheeky grin onhis face.

“You fuck.” Sephyr muttered. “Just for that you’re goingfirst.”

“As you say, Sephyr.” The reply was much warmer than hisobvious jab at his former employer. As the Valet stepped to the edge of thebed, Finn stepped aside. Sephyr intended to leave his son until last, becausehe had some very serious things to say to him. Although he did for Baxter aswell. The Valet sighed lightly, a hand moving to rest on his friend’s arm. “Ithas been good, hasn’t it?”

“In the end.” Sephyr said, taking a deep breath and movinghis hand to rest on top of Baxter’s. “There are so many things I wanna sayBax…. But there’s not enough time.” He watched the Valet nod knowingly. Some healready knew, of course. “I’m so sorry, for the things I did to you. For thescar on your head, for the scar on your arm, for the mental issues. I’m sorryyou spent like ten year worryin’ about me tryin’ t’ kill myself. You alwaystold me that my life was actually remarkable, an’ you were right. I let a lotof it go t’ waste an’ I dragged you into it. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be.” His Valet replied. “I’d do it again,to be honest.”

Sephyr laughed a hollow, unbelieving laugh. “Thanks, but yuhdon’t have t’ be nice t’ me right before I die.” He shook his head lightlybefore he felt Baxter squeeze his arm slightly.

“I am not.” He remarked plainly.

“Thank you.” Sephyr hummed. “I- I’m so glad you metVictoria. I’m so glad she’s breakin’ down those walls. I made yuh build up somewalls that I’m bettin’ she’s still strugglin’ with. Not t’ mention yourparents.” He cast his eyes to the side. “I want you to know that I love you.Like a brother. You were there for me when no one else was. For everything youdid for me, thank you.”

“You are very welcome, Sephyr.”

“I’m leaving you a quarter of the money.” Sephyr told him“So don’t be shocked when you read the will. Oh, and the BMW. And whatever youwant out of the mansion, I’m sure Finn won’t mind.”

The valet regarded Sephyr with a sad smile. “Very good,sir.”

As Baxter stepped back, Sephyr resisted the urge to allowtears to form. He hated this sort of thing. Baxter had been his best and mostloyal friend, there was so much more to say. He had said other things inletters, letters they would get some days after he had died. Finn, Sawyer,Baxter and Lily would all get letters, things he knew he’d never be able to sayin a setting like this. At least they would know how he really felt.

With Baxter out of the way, Sephyr motioned to Sawyer. Thesecurity guard looked unsire as he edged around the room, pushing some of thehair from his eyes. “Sorry, need a damn cut.”

“I like it long.” Sephyr said quietly, curling the handfarthest from Sawyer into the sheets. “Ohhh boy.”

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly.” The man hummed lightly. “I’mshit at these.”

“Me to.” Sephyr laughed lightly, looking away for a momentto take in a breath. “Listen, Sawyer. You already know some of the things Iwanna say. You were the best head of security I could have asked for. Yuh did yourjob better than anyone ever could have. Yuh took a damn bullet for me, man.”

“In the chest.” Sawyer nodded. “Best thing I ever did to behonest.”

“No no no.” Sephyr laughed, shaking his head. “Woulda beenbetter the other way. But you did it and I’ve always been grateful. You kept mesafe more times than I could count an’ you were lookin’ out for Bax and Finnto. I hope whatever you decide t’ do next is exactly what you need t’ keepmovin’. I left the other quarter of the money t’ you.” He offered a smallsmile.

“Really?” Sawyer seemed rather shocked by that notion.“Why?”

“Consider it your severance.” The Rock Star chuckledlightly. “You’re one of my best friends, of course I’m leavin’ you money. I’dleave you a car but yuh don’t drive so-. Take stuff outta the mansion if yuhwant. And make sure you hold onto Anna. She loves you.”

“I’ll do my best, boss.” Sawyer tried to smile, but it wasclear this was an uncomfortable moment for him. “I’ll see you in hell, eh?”

“Seventh Circle for us both.”

“Oh no.” Sawyer beamed. “I’m takin’ the throne!”

“Good lad.” Sephyr grinned back at him, watching him stepaside.

When Sephyr looked around, he certainly had to thinkcarefully about who to select next. Out of the group around his bed he chosehis sister, Lillian. She moved around the crowd to stand at her brother’sbeside, her arm on his shoulder. She was older than Sephyr ever wanted to seeher, her grey hair masked only by her hair dye. Certainly she looked good forher age, but that didn’t change the fact that she was nearly sixty. His sweet,baby sister was almost sixty years old.

“Lily I-“ He sighed as she threw her arms around him,hugging him tightly as she began to cry. “Hey now, you’re not the one dyingtoday.”

“No, but I’m the one watching my brother die.” She said asshe stood up straight, looking deep into his eyes with her own hazel orbs. “Andwe barely knew each other.”

“Oh I wouldn’t say that. I came to your shows, you avoidedmine. I came to New York and you invaded my Mansion twice a year. I knew whoyour friends were, you knew some of mine. We knew each other as well as anysiblings ever do.”

“But we lost so much time because of-“

“Lily please. Don’t even bring him up.” Sephyr looked sad,angry and ashamed in the same breath. “Please, not today. I need one day whereI’m not thinkin’ about him and the shit he did.”

“I’m sorry.” She sighed. “I just wish things had beendifferent.”

“We all do, but that’s not how life goes. I’m glad yuhtracked me down. I’m glad yuh came t’ find me, that I got t’ know you when wewere adults. I’m proud of the person you are, the person you became. I’m sorryI wasn’t there when you were little, but its better I wasn’t. I left you a car,and a bit of money when the mansion is sold, if it’s sold. If not, I’m sureFinn’ll throw you a bone somewhere.” He smiled and patted Lily on the head. “Ilove you, little sister.”

“I love you too, big brother. I love you so much.”

As Lily stepped away she did not stop at the edge of thecrowd like the others head. Instead she stepped right out of the bedroom intothe sitting room. Sephyr sighed lightly, knowing she was going to cry.Shockingly, he was thankful she had left. If she’d been balling right next tohim, he would have started. He turned his head from the doorway, calling Murryover to him. As soon as the other man was in range, he punched him square inthe arm.

“Ow!” The manager howled. “Dude, how do you still punch thathard?”

“I was savin’ it for you.” He replied with a laugh. “Onemore for old time sake. I’m gonna miss your ugly ass.”

“Funny I was going to say the same thing.” Murry ran a handover the sore spot on his shoulder. “Now I’m going to have a bruise to rememberyou by!”

“A bruise, a car, a couple guitars, whatever the kids wantout of the mansion. You know, the shit I promised you.”

“Oh what, no money for me?” Murry joked. “Fuck you man.”

“Fuck you too, ass hole.” The tone Sephyr spoke those wordsin was almost warm, welcoming. The two had been friends for so long, this wasthe only way they knew to communicate. Anything else would have been wrong.“Good bye, Murry. Was a hell of a ride.”

“Keep ridin’.” Murry replied, leaning down to hug his oldfriend, holding him for just a moment before he let go. “I love you, you littleshit.”

“I love you too, you giant fuck-knuckle.”

Before Sephyr had a chance to call over his next victim,there was a loud knock at the front door. With a puzzled expression, Baxterstepped away from the group as if by instinct. He moved along passed thesobbing woman on the sofa, opening the front door. There was something of agasp as Baxter drew in breath, stepping aside with a quick “Of course, comein.”

In the bedroom doorway Sephyr could see a man he neverexpected to show up, even at his deathbed. Roy McCormik stood with a bouquet offlowers. He set them at the foot of the bed, stepping over and placing a handon Sephyr’s shoulder. “I didn’t know what else to bring.”

“Yourself is more than fine.” Sephyr said with a note ofshock. “What the hell are you doin’ here?”

“What does it look like? I’m saying good bye to an oldfriend. “ Roy tried to smile, but his heart clearly wasn’t in it.

“Oh.” Sephyr managed, a clear hint of sadness in his tone.“I’m glad to see you.”

“I’m so sorry, Sephyr.” Roy said after a moment. “We should havehad more time- We should have been better friends.”

“I was the bad friend, Roy.” Sephyr admitted readily. “Itore us all apart. I was never good for anyone, not till I got help. You gotaway from me an’ lived a great life. Be proud of that. We had some good timesdurin’ tours. You were always the level headed one.” Sephyr’s hand moved toclose around his old friend’s hand. “Thanks for coming Roy. I’m so sorry, foreverything.”

“I couldn’t just not come.” The older man sighed. “You aremy friend. I’ll miss you. I’m… I’m sorry too.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

The look exchanged between the two of them spoke volumesabout the issues they’d had. It was a look of guilt, of sadness, of regret; buta look of caring. Roy was torn apart and Sephyr looked as though he might justbreak down. Their hands lingered together, clear and untold secrets betweenthem. The ending of a chapter never explored. As Roy took his step back, Sephyralmost didn’t want to let go. He did, in the end, calling both Victoria andAnna to his side. As both girls stepped to either side of his bed, both tookone of his hands. He met both of their eyes, squeezing each hand in turn.

“Hey girls.”

“Hey.” Both replied, a laugh on either set of lips, followedby another laugh between the two.

“Anna.” Sephyr started, turning to face her. “I have so mucht’ thank you for. You were my beard, an’ you never jidged or even consideredtakin’ it to the press. I have loved you since we got together.” He chuckledlightly. “An’ I’m so glad you have Sawyer. You were the best beard I ever had.”

“You’re welcome, honey.” Anna replied in her southern drawl.“I loved every minute.”

“I’m sorry, for the things you had to see. I’m sorry for-“

“Don’t.” she shook her head, running her hand through hishair. “I’d do it again and love it just as much knowin’ what was happenin’. Ilove you. We all love you. Don’t tell me you’re sorry for making us.”

Sephyr was quiet for a moment, pausing when Anna leaned downto brush their lips together for a very brief moment. “I think you deserve restmore than anyone else I know.”

Tears finally rolled down Sephyr’s cheeks as he reached outto hug Anna, a shaky sigh on his lips. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, love.”

As they pulled away, Sephyr wiped tears from his eyes,turning to look at Victoria. The woman standing on his other side was alsocrying and at that sight, Sephyr’s heart shattered. “Oh come on now.” Hemanaged to get out. “Pretty girl like you, cryin’ over some old codger likeme?”

“Shut up.” Victoria snapped almost playfully. “I’ll cry if Iwant to.”

“S’not your party.” Sephyr said, making a musical joke.There was a long silence between the two of them before Victoria leaned downand wrapped her arms around the older man. He in turn wrapped his arms aroundher. “Thank you, for everything.”

“My pleasure, old man.” She replied, pausing to draw in along and shaking breath. “It was so worth it.”

“I’m sorry for the things you had to see when you came.” Hesaid quietly. “And thank you so much for looking after Baxter. Please don’t let‘em get to sad about this shit. Ain’t worth i- OW.” He howled, head shootingback to look at Victoria, who’s hand had just grazed the top of his head.

“You’re worth it.” She stated very clearly, everyone aroundher nodding. You changed lives, Sephyr. You changed a lot of lives.  Everyone here’s going to miss you so much.Please, for once, give yourself that much credit.”

Sephyr was crying again, his hands moving to his face tohide it for that moment. It felt so good, so right, that at least some of thepeople in his life had seen him, for him. He had never felt validation likethat. His hands dropped and his arms wrapped around himself. His eyes met everyset in that room, a genuine and sincere smile on his features. “God, I love allof you so much.”

There was a round of ‘we love you too’s’ and a last hug fromVictoria before she stepped away too, rejoining her husband. Baxter, who hadbeen standing next to their daughter, ushered the girl forward. The teenagerlooked a little unsure of how to approach this situation, her black hairfalling in front of her beautiful blue eyes. She stood next to the bed, lookingup at her ‘uncle’.

“Hello Iris.”

“Hey uncle Seph.” She said, looking down. “I don’t want todo this.”

“Me neither, kid.” Sephyr said slowly. “But sometimes, thisis for the best. You don’t wanna see your uncle bedridden for years, do yuh?”

“Ew. No. You’d hate that.” She had the same look of disgusther father had perfected over the years.

“Then come and give me a hug.” He extended his arms, whichshe folded herself into readily. “I love you, Iris. I’m so proud of the womanyou’re becoming. Listen to your father. He’ll be there for you when you needhim most.”

“Don’t worry, Uncle Seph. I’ll keep him safe.” She saidquietly, knowingly. She was wise beyond her years. “You can rest.”

“Thanks Iris.” He replied, holding her just a little tighterfor a moment. “And don’t you dare let anyone tell you you’re not amazing.”

“Dang right!” She beamed as she pulled back. “I’m SephyrSteele’s niece!” She giggled, kissed Sephyr on the cheek and trotted back overto her father. She really was one of the smartest children Sephyr had ever met.

And then came the time to say good bye to two of the peoplehe was dreading saying it to. To his left he could see Ellis, waiting patientlyto be called on. Sephyr reached out, silently calling the actor to him. AsEllis moved to his side, Sephyr didn’t even speak. He pulled the other man downto himself, tightly wrapping his arms around him. Ellis hugged him back andthere were tears on both sides. There was hardly any noise in that moment, bothunderstanding what the other meant just by the urgency in which they held eachother. Brothers who had been torn apart and who had almost not recovered. They lovedeach other so much, but Sephyr’s issues had certainly gotten in the way. Asthey pulled back from each other, Sephyr didn’t wait for Ellis to speak.

“I’m sorry, and don’t you dare interrupt.” He said quickly. “I’msorry for telling you I hated you. I’m sorry for not talkin’ t’ you for twentyyears. I’m sorry the band broke up, that you’re still alone, that you had tohire someone to loo kafter me. I love you, you are my brother. I’m so fuckingsorry you had to deal with all my shit.” He sighed.

“And I’m sorry I outted you.” Ellis replied. “We are both toblame, my brother.” Ellis’ hand moved to the other’s shoulder to squeeze. “Theending to a truthfully amazing man. And what an ending. Your terms, yourchoice. Exactly what you needed.” The Englishmen smiled down at his long-timefriend. “Mom and Dad would be proud.”

“I hope so.” Sephyr looked away. “I miss them, so much.”

“They missed you too, Sephyr. And with any luck, maybe we’llall see each other again.”

“Who knows.” Sephyr chuckled as Ellis leaned down to lookhim directly in the eyes.

“I do.” The actor smiled, leaning forward and kissing hisbest friend, his brother, a man he loved so on the cheek, stepping back. “Ilove you, very much, Sephyr. And please, when you pass him on the way out, tellKyle I miss him too.”

“I’ll make sure he gets the memo.” Sephyr said with analmost barking laugh through his own tears. He could feel his heart breakingagain. This day was full of that. “He’d miss you too, Ellis Simpkins.”

“Thank you.” Ellis said after a moment. They lingered nearto each other for a moment before Ellis stepped away, unable to keep himselffrom tearing up again any longer. He stepped to the back of the crowd, hismisty eyes turned away from the dying man in the bed.

Sephyr knew now who he would have to say good bye too. Finnwas the last one there, the last one who needed to say his good byes. The sharpbreath he drew in spoke volumes for his dread as he watched all the others whohad come to see him drift away from his bed to stand at the end of it. Finn wasleft standing right next to his father, eyes locked on the older man.

“Do you have to?” He asked, voice almost strangled with thepossibility of tears. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”

“Exactly what you do with me.” Sephyr told him, reaching outto take his hand. “Finn.. We’ve known a long time I wasn’t gonna be aroundforever.”

“I know. Doesn’t mean I’m ready tolose my dad.”                

“I know. I’m not really ready tolose my son either.” He sighed lightly, reaching out for his son. Finn curledinto his arms, face buried in the older man’s chest. “But I’m so proud of you.I’m so proud of who you are, of what you choose to do with your time, of howgenerous you are. You’re the best kid a Dad could have asked for.”

“That’s your fault.” Finn cried,tears running down his face. “And I;m not going to be the same without you.”

“You will be.” Sephyr assured him.“You’ve overcome worse than this. I’m just a chapter. You’ve got the resta yourlife ahead of you. Don’t let me drag yuh down. Go out, help people, do the thingsyou do best. An’ whatever you do, don’t you ever give up music an’ art. I loveyour art.”

“I promise.” Finn replied. “Ipromise…”

Sephyr moved to that Finn was heldat the end of his arms, a space between them so that Sephyr could look himright in the eyes. “I love you, my boy. I love you so much. You’re my world. I’mproud to have been your father. I’m sorry for some of the things you saw, I’msorry I wasn’t always the best. But you’re amazing, an’ I have no regrets abouttaking you on. Please, don’t remember me for this. Bein’ stuck in a bed allday?”

“No.” Finn promised, leaningforward to press his forehead to his father’s. “I’m going to remember you inthe Firebird, heading god knows were to do something amazing. Because I’m proudof you too, Dad. You worked so hard to become the man you’ve been for the lastfourteen years. I love you so much.”

Sephyr hugged his son again,holding him for a long time as the two cried together. It was one of thehardest things the men and women around Sephyr had ever had to watch, the lastgood bye between a son and father who shared so many Things. The last moments ofa family who found each other when both needed it most. The passing of an epicchapter in the universe.

“Chin up, kiddo.” Sephyr saidafter a while, Finn sitting up from where he’d curled himself. “It’s almosttime.”

“I know.” Finn told the older man.“I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I’m going to miss you to.” Sephyrsaid slowly. “But I’ll be around. Tones of music t’ hear me in.”

They shared a long look, the lastin their good byes as Finn slid off of the bed, standing beside his father.Each person who had said their good byes moved back to the bed to give Sephyrone last long hug. When the rounds were finished and he’d managed to makehimself let go of Finn, he watched everyone file out of the apartment.Eventually, when everyone had left, it was just himself and Baxter in thesilence of the room. The only sound was Sephyr, a quiet crying from the bed.Baxter let out a low sigh, standing next to his very good friend.

“Are you ready?” The Valet asked,a hand on the older man’s shoulder.

“I dunno.” Sephyr said quietlythrough the tears. “Thought I was… but that was hard as hell.”

“As you knew it would be, sir.”

“You’re right.” Sephyr cried. “You’realways fuckin’ right.”

“Just as you say.” Baxter saidquietly, a small glistening of tears on his own cheeks. “I will miss beingright about your life.”

“And I’ll miss you bein’ right.”

Baxter set a small case on the bedin front of Sephyr. “As requested, as provided.” He said slowly. “Your poisonof choice.”

“S’weird havin’ you offer it.”

“I would imagine.” Baxter’s tonewas flat, almost monotone. “You’ll forgive me. I am just not looking forward tothis.”

“Please go.” Sephyr said as hebusied himself preparing the massive dose of his former vice. “You don’t needto see me this way.”

“I want to.” Baxter assured him. “Aman like you shouldn’t die alone. You were alone much too long already.”

“You have always been too kind tome, Baxter. Just promise this isn’t what you’re gonna remember.”

“No.” Baxter hummed. “The man Iwill remember is the man who saved my life after only knowing me nine months.That is the man I shall remember fondly.”

“Thank you Baxter.” Sephyr said,tying off his own arm.

When the moment arrived, Sephyrreadied himself to let go. He reflected on his life to that point, on theremarkable things he had done through his seventy-one years. It really had beenso much better than he’d let it be and while he regretted so much of it therewas so much he had enjoyed. He’d met his idols, he’d been mentioned in the samebreath as them. He’d made some amazing friends along the way, he’d fallen inlove so many times. He’d changed so many lives. In truth, despite everything,he was very proud of himself. In the end of everything, it had been a goodlife. 

“Can yuh hit the music, Bax?” Sephyr asked as he rested the end of the needle against his skin. 

The Valet stepped over to the radio, pressing the play button on the CD player. In an instant the sound of Queen;s ‘Who Wants to Live Forever’ rang out through the quiet penthouse, Sephyr’s body relaxing against the pillow on the bed. “I’m ready.” He finally said, his eyes lingering on Baxter. “Thank you, for staying. 

“Of course, Sephyr. I would not miss it.” 

As he pushed the plunger into the syringe in his arm, he reached out totake Baxter’s hand and held it tightly in his own. He could feel the drugs taking effect, the swimming in his head. Soon he would black out and death would take him quietly. The amount he had taken was much too much for his body or mind to survive. It would kill him, quickly. As the swimming got more and more intense, he settled properly, his eyes sliding shut. 

“Good bye, my friend. My brother. Good Bye, Baxter.” 

“Good bye, sir.”

As the darkness of death overtookhim, there was the slightest smile on his face. A man finally at peace.

[rustedsteele]

Dabble: In The End

// I am reposting the dabble as a post so I can link through to it. It is under the read more. 

The penthouse had been quiet that day. As yet Sephyr had only seen the nurse, checking in on his as she did every single morning. His shallow breathing served as the only sound in the room and in that moment he desperately wished he could reach the radio by the window. He groaned slightly at the thought of even trying to get up, his head lulling against the soft pillow at the top of the hospital-grade bed. His cool blue eyes feel shut as he took a long breath in. He hadn’t been sure until the week before that it was time, but it most certainly was. He couldn’t walk on his own, this was no kind of life.

Sephyr Steele had made the decision a week ago to end his life. He had first approached his long-time friend, Baxter and explained that if he wasn’t able to get out of bed under his own power, he did not want to continue living. As if by instinct Baxter had tried to talk him out of it, but relented at the sight of pain in the Rock Star’s eyes. He truthfully looked as though he had already given up and in truth, he had. Eventually Baxter agree, allowing him to choose the way in which he would like to go. Sephyr opted for an overdose on his former drug of choice, as he did not qualify for assisted suicide. Baxter agreed to allow it, if Sephyr could keep his name away from it. The Rock Star of course already had a source, so a date was set.

It was that morning that he had wondered to himself if he really was ready. In only a few short moment his friends and family would arrive to say their good byes and Sephyr could feel the anxiety building in his chest at the thought. He had never been one for good byes. They did not sit well with him. He knew of course that he owed this to them. At the very least he owed them the chance to say good bye to him. Closure for some, like Finn and Baxter. Those were the two he looked forward to the least. Despite the doubt, he knew he was indeed ready. Letting go now, on his terms. The best ending Sephyr could have asked for.

As he thought to himself, he almost failed to notice the front door opening. From where his bed had been moved he couldn’t see the door, but he suspected that it was the sound of Baxter letting everyone inside. It was about that time. He had sent out text messages, letting everyone know he needed to see the ‘one last time’. Everyone of course knew that it meant. He had been kinder to Finn, explaining it in person. The twenty-one year old had taken it better than Sephyr had expected. His son knew that the old man would never survive being bed ridden anyway. As the footsteps and low chatter approached the door, he tipped the bed up into a sitting position, slightly ashamed of how weak he looked now.

The first figure to step through the open bedroom door was of course Finn. The young sandy-blond man stepped up beside his father’s bed, leaning over to kiss his forehead. “Hey pop.” He muttered out, sadness clearly ringing through his tone. No one wanted to know that the moment they left, their parent was going to die. Truthfully, the Rock Star understood.

“Hey Kiddo.” He replied somewhat weakly, reaching over to pat the younger man on the shoulder. “Gonna be alright?”

“About as alright as anyone here.” Finn explained, gesturing to the surprising crowd of people who had gathered around the bed. Some with moderate success, being pushed to the fringe of the crowd. “Bet you didn’t think everyone would show.”

“Seems silly.” Sephyr hummed. “All you fuckers takin’ time out t’ come down an’ say good bye to this old ass washout.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Came a voice from the foot of the bed, and Sephyr glanced over to look at the source. Sawyer Thulus.

“Oh don’t worry. I will.” Sephyr laughed. Sawyer seemed much less amused.

“Dude, are you for real? Don’t.” The security guard’s eyes moved to the sheets at the end of the bed and very suddenly, Sephyr felt terrible.

“Sorry.” He muttered out as the rest of the group closed in.

“So how is this going to work.” The ever realistic voice of Baxter came. “Because I’d hazard a guess that Sephyr would like to keep this a brief as possible.”

“I would.”

“Very good, sir. Please select someone to-“

“Baxter?” Sephyr interrupted.

“Sir?”

“If you could, because this is my last day and all, just- just not call me Sir?”

“Oh course, Mr. Steele.” The Valet said, a cheeky grin on his face.

“You fuck.” Sephyr muttered. “Just for that you’re going first.”

“As you say, Sephyr.” The reply was much warmer than his obvious jab at his former employer. As the Valet stepped to the edge of the bed, Finn stepped aside. Sephyr intended to leave his son until last, because he had some very serious things to say to him. Although he did for Baxter as well. The Valet sighed lightly, a hand moving to rest on his friend’s arm. “It has been good, hasn’t it?”

“In the end.” Sephyr said, taking a deep breath and moving his hand to rest on top of Baxter’s. “There are so many things I wanna say Bax…. But there’s not enough time.” He watched the Valet nod knowingly. Some he already knew, of course. “I’m so sorry, for the things I did to you. For the scar on your head, for the scar on your arm, for the mental issues. I’m sorry you spent like ten year worryin’ about me tryin’ t’ kill myself. You always told me that my life was actually remarkable, an’ you were right. I let a lot of it go t’ waste an’ I dragged you into it. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be.” His Valet replied. “I’d do it again, to be honest.”

Sephyr laughed a hollow, unbelieving laugh. “Thanks, but yuh don’t have t’ be nice t’ me right before I die.” He shook his head lightly before he felt Baxter squeeze his arm slightly.

“I am not.” He remarked plainly.

“Thank you.” Sephyr hummed. “I- I’m so glad you met Victoria. I’m so glad she’s breakin’ down those walls. I made yuh build up some walls that I’m bettin’ she’s still strugglin’ with. Not t’ mention your parents.” He cast his eyes to the side. “I want you to know that I love you. Like a brother. You were there for me when no one else was. For everything you did for me, thank you.”

“You are very welcome, Sephyr.”

“I’m leaving you a quarter of the money.” Sephyr told him “So don’t be shocked when you read the will. Oh, and the BMW. And whatever you want out of the mansion, I’m sure Finn won’t mind.”

The valet regarded Sephyr with a sad smile. “Very good, sir.”

As Baxter stepped back, Sephyr resisted the urge to allow tears to form. He hated this sort of thing. Baxter had been his best and most loyal friend, there was so much more to say. He had said other things in letters, letters they would get some days after he had died. Finn, Sawyer, Baxter and Lily would all get letters, things he knew he’d never be able to say in a setting like this. At least they would know how he really felt.

With Baxter out of the way, Sephyr motioned to Sawyer. The security guard looked unsire as he edged around the room, pushing some of the hair from his eyes. “Sorry, need a damn cut.”

“I like it long.” Sephyr said quietly, curling the hand farthest from Sawyer into the sheets. “Ohhh boy.”

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly.” The man hummed lightly. “I’m shit at these.”

“Me to.” Sephyr laughed lightly, looking away for a moment to take in a breath. “Listen, Sawyer. You already know some of the things I wanna say. You were the best head of security I could have asked for. Yuh did your job better than anyone ever could have. Yuh took a damn bullet for me, man.”

“In the chest.” Sawyer nodded. “Best thing I ever did to be honest.”

“No no no.” Sephyr laughed, shaking his head. “Woulda been better the other way. But you did it and I’ve always been grateful. You kept me safe more times than I could count an’ you were lookin’ out for Bax and Finn to. I hope whatever you decide t’ do next is exactly what you need t’ keep movin’. I left the other quarter of the money t’ you.” He offered a small smile.

“Really?” Sawyer seemed rather shocked by that notion. “Why?”

“Consider it your severance.” The Rock Star chuckled lightly. “You’re one of my best friends, of course I’m leavin’ you money. I’d leave you a car but yuh don’t drive so-. Take stuff outta the mansion if yuh want. And make sure you hold onto Anna. She loves you.”

“I’ll do my best, boss.” Sawyer tried to smile, but it was clear this was an uncomfortable moment for him. “I’ll see you in hell, eh?”

“Seventh Circle for us both.”

“Oh no.” Sawyer beamed. “I’m takin’ the throne!”

“Good lad.” Sephyr grinned back at him, watching him step aside.

When Sephyr looked around, he certainly had to think carefully about who to select next. Out of the group around his bed he chose his sister, Lillian. She moved around the crowd to stand at her brother’s beside, her arm on his shoulder. She was older than Sephyr ever wanted to see her, her grey hair masked only by her hair dye. Certainly she looked good for her age, but that didn’t change the fact that she was nearly sixty. His sweet, baby sister was almost sixty years old.

“Lily I-“ He sighed as she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly as she began to cry. “Hey now, you’re not the one dying today.”

“No, but I’m the one watching my brother die.” She said as she stood up straight, looking deep into his eyes with her own hazel orbs. “And we barely knew each other.”

“Oh I wouldn’t say that. I came to your shows, you avoided mine. I came to New York and you invaded my Mansion twice a year. I knew who your friends were, you knew some of mine. We knew each other as well as any siblings ever do.”

“But we lost so much time because of-“

“Lily please. Don’t even bring him up.��� Sephyr looked sad, angry and ashamed in the same breath. “Please, not today. I need one day where I’m not thinkin’ about him and the shit he did.”

“I’m sorry.” She sighed. “I just wish things had been different.”

“We all do, but that’s not how life goes. I’m glad yuh tracked me down. I’m glad yuh came t’ find me, that I got t’ know you when we were adults. I’m proud of the person you are, the person you became. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were little, but its better I wasn’t. I left you a car, and a bit of money when the mansion is sold, if it’s sold. If not, I’m sure Finn’ll throw you a bone somewhere.” He smiled and patted Lily on the head. “I love you, little sister.”

“I love you too, big brother. I love you so much.”

As Lily stepped away she did not stop at the edge of the crowd like the others head. Instead she stepped right out of the bedroom into the sitting room. Sephyr sighed lightly, knowing she was going to cry. Shockingly, he was thankful she had left. If she’d been balling right next to him, he would have started. He turned his head from the doorway, calling Murry over to him. As soon as the other man was in range, he punched him square in the arm.

“Ow!” The manager howled. “Dude, how do you still punch that hard?”

“I was savin’ it for you.” He replied with a laugh. “One more for old time sake. I’m gonna miss your ugly ass.”

“Funny I was going to say the same thing.” Murry ran a hand over the sore spot on his shoulder. “Now I’m going to have a bruise to remember you by!”

“A bruise, a car, a couple guitars, whatever the kids want out of the mansion. You know, the shit I promised you.”

“Oh what, no money for me?” Murry joked. “Fuck you man.”

“Fuck you too, ass hole.” The tone Sephyr spoke those words in was almost warm, welcoming. The two had been friends for so long, this was the only way they knew to communicate. Anything else would have been wrong. “Good bye, Murry. Was a hell of a ride.”

“Keep ridin’.” Murry replied, leaning down to hug his old friend, holding him for just a moment before he let go. “I love you, you little shit.”

“I love you too, you giant fuck-knuckle.”

Before Sephyr had a chance to call over his next victim, there was a loud knock at the front door. With a puzzled expression, Baxter stepped away from the group as if by instinct. He moved along passed the sobbing woman on the sofa, opening the front door. There was something of a gasp as Baxter drew in breath, stepping aside with a quick “Of course, come in.”

In the bedroom doorway Sephyr could see a man he never expected to show up, even at his deathbed. Roy McCormik stood with a bouquet of flowers. He set them at the foot of the bed, stepping over and placing a hand on Sephyr’s shoulder. “I didn’t know what else to bring.”

“Yourself is more than fine.” Sephyr said with a note of shock. “What the hell are you doin’ here?”

“What does it look like? I’m saying good bye to an old friend. “ Roy tried to smile, but his heart clearly wasn’t in it.

“Oh.” Sephyr managed, a clear hint of sadness in his tone. “I’m glad to see you.”

“I’m so sorry, Sephyr.” Roy said after a moment. “We should have had more time- We should have been better friends.”

“I was the bad friend, Roy.” Sephyr admitted readily. “I tore us all apart. I was never good for anyone, not till I got help. You got away from me an’ lived a great life. Be proud of that. We had some good times durin’ tours. You were always the level headed one.” Sephyr’s hand moved to close around his old friend’s hand. “Thanks for coming Roy. I’m so sorry, for everything.”

“I couldn’t just not come.” The older man sighed. “You are my friend. I’ll miss you. I’m… I’m sorry too.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

The look exchanged between the two of them spoke volumes about the issues they’d had. It was a look of guilt, of sadness, of regret; but a look of caring. Roy was torn apart and Sephyr looked as though he might just break down. Their hands lingered together, clear and untold secrets between them. The ending of a chapter never explored. As Roy took his step back, Sephyr almost didn’t want to let go. He did, in the end, calling both Victoria and Anna to his side. As both girls stepped to either side of his bed, both took one of his hands. He met both of their eyes, squeezing each hand in turn.

“Hey girls.”

“Hey.” Both replied, a laugh on either set of lips, followed by another laugh between the two.

“Anna.” Sephyr started, turning to face her. “I have so much t’ thank you for. You were my beard, an’ you never jidged or even considered takin’ it to the press. I have loved you since we got together.” He chuckled lightly. “An’ I’m so glad you have Sawyer. You were the best beard I ever had.”

“You’re welcome, honey.” Anna replied in her southern drawl. “I loved every minute.”

“I’m sorry, for the things you had to see. I’m sorry for-“

“Don’t.” she shook her head, running her hand through his hair. “I’d do it again and love it just as much knowin’ what was happenin’. I love you. We all love you. Don’t tell me you’re sorry for making us.”

Sephyr was quiet for a moment, pausing when Anna leaned down to brush their lips together for a very brief moment. “I think you deserve rest more than anyone else I know.”

Tears finally rolled down Sephyr’s cheeks as he reached out to hug Anna, a shaky sigh on his lips. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, love.”

As they pulled away, Sephyr wiped tears from his eyes, turning to look at Victoria. The woman standing on his other side was also crying and at that sight, Sephyr’s heart shattered. “Oh come on now.” He managed to get out. “Pretty girl like you, cryin’ over some old codger like me?”

“Shut up.” Victoria snapped almost playfully. “I’ll cry if I want to.”

“S’not your party.” Sephyr said, making a musical joke. There was a long silence between the two of them before Victoria leaned down and wrapped her arms around the older man. He in turn wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you, for everything.”

“My pleasure, old man.” She replied, pausing to draw in a long and shaking breath. “It was so worth it.”

“I’m sorry for the things you had to see when you came.” He said quietly. “And thank you so much for looking after Baxter. Please don’t let ‘em get to sad about this shit. Ain’t worth i- OW.” He howled, head shooting back to look at Victoria, who’s hand had just grazed the top of his head.

“You’re worth it.” She stated very clearly, everyone around her nodding. You changed lives, Sephyr. You changed a lot of lives.  Everyone here’s going to miss you so much. Please, for once, give yourself that much credit.”

Sephyr was crying again, his hands moving to his face to hide it for that moment. It felt so good, so right, that at least some of the people in his life had seen him, for him. He had never felt validation like that. His hands dropped and his arms wrapped around himself. His eyes met every set in that room, a genuine and sincere smile on his features. “God, I love all of you so much.”

There was a round of ‘we love you too’s’ and a last hug from Victoria before she stepped away too, rejoining her husband. Baxter, who had been standing next to their daughter, ushered the girl forward. The teenager looked a little unsure of how to approach this situation, her black hair falling in front of her beautiful blue eyes. She stood next to the bed, looking up at her ‘uncle’.

“Hello Iris.”

“Hey uncle Seph.” She said, looking down. “I don’t want to do this.”

“Me neither, kid.” Sephyr said slowly. “But sometimes, this is for the best. You don’t wanna see your uncle bedridden for years, do yuh?”

“Ew. No. You’d hate that.” She had the same look of disgust her father had perfected over the years.

“Then come and give me a hug.” He extended his arms, which she folded herself into readily. “I love you, Iris. I’m so proud of the woman you’re becoming. Listen to your father. He’ll be there for you when you need him most.”

“Don’t worry, Uncle Seph. I’ll keep him safe.” She said quietly, knowingly. She was wise beyond her years. “You can rest.”

“Thanks Iris.” He replied, holding her just a little tighter for a moment. “And don’t you dare let anyone tell you you’re not amazing.”

“Dang right!” She beamed as she pulled back. “I’m Sephyr Steele’s niece!” She giggled, kissed Sephyr on the cheek and trotted back over to her father. She really was one of the smartest children Sephyr had ever met.

And then came the time to say good bye to two of the people he was dreading saying it to. To his left he could see Ellis, waiting patiently to be called on. Sephyr reached out, silently calling the actor to him. As Ellis moved to his side, Sephyr didn’t even speak. He pulled the other man down to himself, tightly wrapping his arms around him. Ellis hugged him back and there were tears on both sides. There was hardly any noise in that moment, both understanding what the other meant just by the urgency in which they held each other. Brothers who had been torn apart and who had almost not recovered. They loved each other so much, but Sephyr’s issues had certainly gotten in the way. As they pulled back from each other, Sephyr didn’t wait for Ellis to speak.

“I’m sorry, and don’t you dare interrupt.” He said quickly. “I’m sorry for telling you I hated you. I’m sorry for not talkin’ t’ you for twenty years. I’m sorry the band broke up, that you’re still alone, that you had to hire someone to loo kafter me. I love you, you are my brother. I’m so fucking sorry you had to deal with all my shit.” He sighed.

“And I’m sorry I outted you.” Ellis replied. “We are both to blame, my brother.” Ellis’ hand moved to the other’s shoulder to squeeze. “The ending to a truthfully amazing man. And what an ending. Your terms, your choice. Exactly what you needed.” The Englishmen smiled down at his long-time friend. “Mom and Dad would be proud.”

“I hope so.” Sephyr looked away. “I miss them, so much.”

“They missed you too, Sephyr. And with any luck, maybe we’ll all see each other again.”

“Who knows.” Sephyr chuckled as Ellis leaned down to look him directly in the eyes.

“I do.” The actor smiled, leaning forward and kissing his best friend, his brother, a man he loved so on the cheek, stepping back. “I love you, very much, Sephyr. And please, when you pass him on the way out, tell Kyle I miss him too.”

“I’ll make sure he gets the memo.” Sephyr said with an almost barking laugh through his own tears. He could feel his heart breaking again. This day was full of that. “He’d miss you too, Ellis Simpkins.”

“Thank you.” Ellis said after a moment. They lingered near to each other for a moment before Ellis stepped away, unable to keep himself from tearing up again any longer. He stepped to the back of the crowd, his misty eyes turned away from the dying man in the bed.

Sephyr knew now who he would have to say good bye too. Finn was the last one there, the last one who needed to say his good byes. The sharp breath he drew in spoke volumes for his dread as he watched all the others who had come to see him drift away from his bed to stand at the end of it. Finn was left standing right next to his father, eyes locked on the older man.

“Do you have to?” He asked, voice almost strangled with the possibility of tears. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”

“Exactly what you do with me.” Sephyr told him, reaching out to take his hand. “Finn.. We’ve known a long time I wasn’t gonna be around forever.”

“I know. Doesn’t mean I’m ready to lose my dad.”                

“I know. I’m not really ready to lose my son either.” He sighed lightly, reaching out for his son. Finn curled into his arms, face buried in the older man’s chest. “But I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of who you are, of what you choose to do with your time, of how generous you are. You’re the best kid a Dad could have asked for.”

“That’s your fault.” Finn cried, tears running down his face. “And I;m not going to be the same without you.”

“You will be.” Sephyr assured him. “You’ve overcome worse than this. I’m just a chapter. You’ve got the resta your life ahead of you. Don’t let me drag yuh down. Go out, help people, do the things you do best. An’ whatever you do, don’t you ever give up music an’ art. I love your art.”

“I promise.” Finn replied. “I promise…”

Sephyr moved to that Finn was held at the end of his arms, a space between them so that Sephyr could look him right in the eyes. “I love you, my boy. I love you so much. You’re my world. I’m proud to have been your father. I’m sorry for some of the things you saw, I’m sorry I wasn’t always the best. But you’re amazing, an’ I have no regrets about taking you on. Please, don’t remember me for this. Bein’ stuck in a bed all day?”

“No.” Finn promised, leaning forward to press his forehead to his father’s. “I’m going to remember you in the Firebird, heading god knows were to do something amazing. Because I’m proud of you too, Dad. You worked so hard to become the man you’ve been for the last fourteen years. I love you so much.”

Sephyr hugged his son again, holding him for a long time as the two cried together. It was one of the hardest things the men and women around Sephyr had ever had to watch, the last good bye between a son and father who shared so many Things. The last moments of a family who found each other when both needed it most. The passing of an epic chapter in the universe.

“Chin up, kiddo.” Sephyr said after a while, Finn sitting up from where he’d curled himself. “It’s almost time.”

“I know.” Finn told the older man. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I’m going to miss you to.” Sephyr said slowly. “But I’ll be around. Tones of music t’ hear me in.”

They shared a long look, the last in their good byes as Finn slid off of the bed, standing beside his father. Each person who had said their good byes moved back to the bed to give Sephyr one last long hug. When the rounds were finished and he’d managed to make himself let go of Finn, he watched everyone file out of the apartment. Eventually, when everyone had left, it was just himself and Baxter in the silence of the room. The only sound was Sephyr, a quiet crying from the bed. Baxter let out a low sigh, standing next to his very good friend.

“Are you ready?” The Valet asked, a hand on the older man’s shoulder.

“I dunno.” Sephyr said quietly through the tears. “Thought I was… but that was hard as hell.”

“As you knew it would be, sir.”

“You’re right.” Sephyr cried. “You’re always fuckin’ right.”

“Just as you say.” Baxter said quietly, a small glistening of tears on his own cheeks. “I will miss being right about your life.”

“And I’ll miss you bein’ right.”

Baxter set a small case on the bed in front of Sephyr. “As requested, as provided.” He said slowly. “Your poison of choice.”

“S’weird havin’ you offer it.”

“I would imagine.” Baxter’s tone was flat, almost monotone. “You’ll forgive me. I am just not looking forward to this.”

“Please go.” Sephyr said as he busied himself preparing the massive dose of his former vice. “You don’t need to see me this way.”

“I want to.” Baxter assured him. “A man like you shouldn’t die alone. You were alone much too long already.”

“You have always been too kind to me, Baxter. Just promise this isn’t what you’re gonna remember.”

“No.” Baxter hummed. “The man I will remember is the man who saved my life after only knowing me nine months. That is the man I shall remember fondly.”

“Thank you Baxter.” Sephyr said, tying off his own arm.

When the moment arrived, Sephyr readied himself to let go. He reflected on his life to that point, on the remarkable things he had done through his seventy-one years. It really had been so much better than he’d let it be and while he regretted so much of it there was so much he had enjoyed. He’d met his idols, he’d been mentioned in the same breath as them. He’d made some amazing friends along the way, he’d fallen in love so many times. He’d changed so many lives. In truth, despite everything, he was very proud of himself. In the end of everything, it had been a good life.

“Can yuh hit the music, Bax?” Sephyr asked as he rested the end of the needle against his skin.

The Valet stepped over to the radio, pressing the play button on the CD player. In an instant the sound of Queen;s ‘Who Wants to Live Forever’ rang out through the quiet penthouse, Sephyr’s body relaxing against the pillow on the bed. “I’m ready.” He finally said, his eyes lingering on Baxter. “Thank you, for staying.

“Of course, Sephyr. I would not miss it.”

As he pushed the plunger into the syringe in his arm, he reached out to take Baxter’s hand and held it tightly in his own. He could feel the drugs taking effect, the swimming in his head. Soon he would black out and death would take him quietly. The amount he had taken was much too much for his body or mind to survive. It would kill him, quickly. As the swimming got more and more intense, he settled properly, his eyes sliding shut.

“Good bye, my friend. My brother. Good Bye, Baxter.”

“Good bye, sir.”

As the darkness of death overtook him, there was the slightest smile on his face. A man finally at peace.