#then they are probably lost and should look elsewhere
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
violetmuses · 3 days ago
Text
Angel - T. Richmond ❤️‍🩹
Title: Angel - T. Richmond ❤️‍🩹
Fandom: “Rebel Ridge” Film Universe
Character: Terry Richmond
Pairing: Terry Richmond + Female Reader
Main Storyline: Facing one nightmare could lead to unexpected joy.
@episodes-ff @diaries-of-me @blackgurlnhermoods @liquorlaughslove @babybratzmaraj @cloveroctobers @becauseimswagman1 @slippinninque 🏷
=====
2024
Tumblr media
“Excuse me?” Grounded in the rural town of Shelby Springs, veteran Terry Richmond noticed your own steps moving down this federal corridor.
“Yes?” You've turned around mid-stride when someone catches your attention.
Goodness gracious.
Towering this muscular build as he chose one fitted shirt, veteran Terry Richmond offered unexpected height as his striking gaze reached your direction.
“I left the police station this morning and I don't have representation yet. Do you know anyone available?” His deep yet gentle voice nearly shook up your presence.
“Depending on your case, finding assistance could be difficult. Most of us scramble here with many circumstances.” Clearing your throat, an explanation offered the truth.
“Are you swamped?” Richmond handed out the question for obvious reasons.
“I might as well be.” You sighed while holding this briefcase. “This town is so small that you'll cough and everyone will know about it.”
“I just need help if something goes wrong.” Terry knew better.
“Follow me. Let's speak in private.” You offered this path while heading elsewhere.
______
“I'm sorry if there's too much going on, but how can I move forward?” Richmond sat across from you while placed in this cramped office.
“No chance in hell.” Struggling with advice, you shook your head after learning Terry Richmond's case. "Just show up on Monday like the Chief said or you've lost an opportunity.”
“He's not very nice.” Richmond settled his frustration regarding Sandy Burne, the arrogant Chief of Police.
“Burne is only tolerable if folks put up with his nonsense.” You say. “Defiance gets your ass kicked out.”
“I'll be gone if everything stays in order.” Terry just wanted to leave this place with his cousin Mike alive.
“Be careful out here.” Your voice cautioned. “The police department has more resources than everyone else.”
“Does Burne know who you are?” Terry still looked out.
“Enough to keep me working.” You almost scoffed behind the desk. “Tight skirts always make money. There's so many perverts that I even collected wedding rings for this side of town.”
Damn. Richmond thought.
“Apologies for wasting time.” Terry stood from the chair and gathered his backpack, ready to go.
“Here's my contact info as a safeguard.” You exchanged phone numbers.
“Thank you, Ma'am.” Terry nodded, leaving this establishment.
******
“Terry! I heard the news. Where are you?” You picked up this phone in broad daylight.
Reports explained drama that bled from the corrupt police station.
“At the hospital. Medics started helping Summer McBride.” Richmond acknowledged one of the other legal assistants.
“What's the next plan? You can't stay here forever.” Your voice warned again.
“I've figured out a settlement.” Terry explained further. “We locked enough proof to shut everything down.”
“What should I do?” You didn't even know what to think. “Summer's probably knocked off from ailments.”
“Please pick me up from the lobby.” Richmond continued speaking. “I lost my bike and just gave back one of their police cruisers.”
“Okay. Stay there.” You snatched car keys without thinking twice and rushed out of work.
******
“Terry!” You honked while staying in that driver's seat and Terry jogged outdoors, circled around to meet the passenger side.
“Thank you.” Despite expressing gratitude, Richmond couldn't smile when you punched the gas to avoid more problems.
______
“Where should we go, Terry?“ Given no other choice, you kept driving. “With Burne still mad, you're better off leaving this place.”
“Come with me.” Richmond pulled his deep voice again.
“What?” Squinting, you nearly pulled the car over right now.
“If I couldn't help Mike and Summer get out of here, maybe there's a chance with us.” Terry offered.
“I….” You've made one turn and led Richmond near the airport.
“No matter what happens, we'll keep looking out for each other. Deal?” His words revealed this vow.
“Deal.” You hurried to park the car before gas would run out and reached Terry's hand while entering that larger terminal.
*****
Scoring this new home, you joined Richmond and practically lived together now.
“No luck?” Terry snuck from behind as you work with your laptop by the kitchen table.
“Stop it!” Laughing, you almost swatted him away as this rare yet adorable smile brightened his face.
“I'm asking.” Richmond pointed to the main screen.
“Working soon.” You grinned while confirming another placement.
“Aight, c'mon…” Hardly responding, Terry lifted your weight and carried you over his shoulder, leading this moment upstairs.
“Wait, put me down!” Your laugh would echo straight through his mind forever.
43 notes · View notes
hephaestuscrew · 11 months ago
Text
When Minkowski hugs Eiffel in Ep31 Sécurité, she just grabs hold of him without making a sound, and the listener only knows about the hug because of the "oof" noise Eiffel makes in reacting to having "the wind knocked straight out of him", and the script directions say that Minkowski has "tears silently streaming down her face", and Eiffel is the one who directly acknowledges the hug verbally ("Don't apologise for hugging"). If all we had was Minkowski's side of the interaction, we probably wouldn't know that they hugged. 
When Eiffel hugs Minkowski in Ep54 The Watchtower, he first tells her "C'mere, give us a hug!", and he makes a happy sound of effort as he squeezes her, and Minkowski - under the influence of Pryce's restraining bolt - doesn't seem to have any reaction at all, which Eiffel doesn't appear to notice. Once again, if all we had was Minkowski's side of the interaction, we wouldn't know that they hugged. 
The question of 'in what ways is the hug made audible?' feels much more significant in audio than it would in any another medium, and I do think it reflects something about these characters and their willingness to be open with their affection. Minkowski "grabs him and hugs him" hard enough to knock the wind out of him, but she does so silently. In a somewhat similar but also very different moment of reunion, Eiffel "embraces her" and he's not quiet as he does it. There's something about how Communications Officer Eiffel is always the one who verbalises their physical affection, whether or not he's the one who initiated the hug. The closest Minkowski gets to verbally acknowledging a hug is through an apology; Eiffel is the one who makes the hugs real for the listener.
105 notes · View notes
storfulsten · 1 year ago
Text
lol did I just lose 3 followers for mentioning a cool new song? ok
7 notes · View notes
certaimromance · 4 months ago
Text
𝜗𝜚 Holding Us.
Spencer Reid x Fem!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summary: You finally had a perfect date with the guy you like, you even kissed and everything seemed perfect. But suddenly he starts acting weird and you think you know this behavior.
Words: 2,5k.
TW: mentions of trauma, death, injuries. drugs and addictions!!! especially spencer's history with them. angst and also comfort???. spoilers for season 2. english is not my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: Next time I'm probably going to write something that might be all fluff, but drama and angst are calling to me.
♡ Enjoy! ♡
Tumblr media
The taste of green tea, accompanied by ginger, entered your throat again and you couldn't help but let out a sigh. Your reading glasses fogged up and you mentally cursed yourself for not remembering to take them off sooner. Your mind was elsewhere and the bandage on your right hand made it impossible for you to go about your business normally.
You settled into the jet seat and tried to ignore the pain you felt in your arms to continue reading normally and turn the page, but it was still impossible and not even your favorite hot drink worked as medicine. All the recent events were replaying in your mind like a movie, and being attacked by a serial killer on your first case after a long flu break was worthy of a dramatic script.
Fortunately, Spencer was your partner at the time and helped you just before the unsub could use his knife on you badly and end your life in the blink of an eye. You had cut your hand deeply in the middle of the struggle and Reid appeared to save you when you were lost, even with his few physical skills, he fought the man as best he could and shot him without even hesitating.
You didn't even get a chance to thank him because it all happened so fast and he'd been acting weird since you came back to work after your break. In the ambulance, he barely looked at you when the paramedic finished patching you up, asked if you were okay, and then went back to acting like you were a pest to be avoided at all costs. You kept wondering if you'd done something wrong, because just four weeks ago the two of you had the best date of your lives, even kissed, and now you weren't even acting like friends.
You began to wonder how much could have changed in a week. Everything was fine until you officially went back to work and tried to act normal. You got sick after the date, Spencer was a gentleman and brought you soup and flowers for days, even though he knew you wouldn't let him see you. And then, overnight, you found out that he'd been kidnapped in a case while you were away, and assumed that was why his constant messages and calls had stopped. You came back thinking that you could be a support to him after such a traumatic experience, but instead he avoided you.
“Is everything okay?” Hotch's voice startled you, almost causing you to drop your cup on the floor. He was sitting in front of you and you thought he was asleep like everyone else.
“Oh, you scared me.” You put your hand over your heart and put the teacup down on the table to look at him.
“You haven't answered my question.” He insisted, settling back in his seat and giving you a look that compelled you to tell him everything. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I was just thinking about what happened and how I didn't get a chance to thank Reid.” You admitted somewhat awkwardly, not wanting to make it obvious that your feelings went beyond friendship, although deep down you knew it was clear. “I've seen him acting strangely, I think he's avoiding me.”
“You should try to talk to him and ask him what's wrong. He saved your life today, that's not something you do by avoiding someone.” Your boss said in a reassuring tone, noticing your great nervousness about the subject. “I don't think he'll have a problem talking to you, and now he seems as thoughtful as you are.” He finished, pointing with his head.
You took the moment to look at Spencer and noticed that Hotchner was right. He looked as pensive and confused as you had been during the minutes you had all been traveling. He was frowning slightly, fiddling with his fingers and looking out the window, even though it was night and there wasn't much to see because of the darkness. You couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking about you.
“I hope you're right.” You murmured, taking another sip of your tea and looking at the papers the man was going through. “Strauss will send me home after this, right?”
“You can't do much with your injured use hand, you need a few days.”
“I'm fine and my other hand is fine, I have not even had to take painkillers. I've got it under control.” You replied tiredly, trying to ignore the pain you felt by making a gesture. “Please don't send me home. I can't anymore, I have to work or I will go crazy.” You added, practically begging him.
“Don't get used to it.” He warned you in a serious tone before continuing. “But I'll talk to her and you stay out of it. You'll just profile and theorize until your hand is right. Nothing more than that and where my eyes see you.”
“You're the best boss in the world, really, I'll buy you a mug that says that.” You said, getting up from your seat and holding back the urge to hug him, knowing it was too much.
“Agent.” He called out to you in a serious tone before you could do anything. “Be careful and tell me if you are in pain...just don't tell anyone I intervened for you or I'll fire you.”
“Understood, sir.” You replied in the same formal tone before heading for the bathroom.
Something inside you knew it wasn't normal for the stitches in your hand to hurt so much, so you slipped into the plane's bathroom as quickly as you could, thankful that most of the team was asleep enough to notice your groans as you moved forward and closed the door behind you. You carefully removed the bandage, seeing that a few stitches had opened up, and pulled the painkillers you'd been given to ease the pain out of the bag, but before you could take any, a couple of knocks on the door made you jump and pray it wasn't your boss.
“Who is it?” You asked in confusion.
“It's me, Spencer.”
You didn't even have to think before you unlocked the door and yanked it open with your good hand.
“Do you want to come in? I was just leaving...” You started to babble as soon as your eyes met his and all the nervousness of a teenager in love appeared.
“I wanted to know if you were okay, I saw you come in complaining of pain.” He explained calmly, lowering his gaze to your hand and watching it with concern.
“Oh, don't worry. I'm fine.”
“May I check?” He asked cautiously, and you nodded a little nervously.
You went further into the bathroom so he could do the same, and he did, taking the back of your injured hand after washing his hands to make sure everything was okay. He touched you so gently that you almost forgot the pain you were in without even taking the painkillers.
“One of the stitches opened up, that's why it hurts. But it's not infected, so they should just sew it up and you'll be fine.” Spencer reassured you while you looked at him carefully.
Incredibly, this was the first time since your return that he had said more than one sentence to you, and he was less than a meter away from you. It made you feel like a fool to be mildly excited about it.
“And how are you? You were the hero who took the worst of it and saved my life.” You pointed as you watched him carefully apply a new bandage to your hand.
As soon as you asked, he pulled away and unconsciously put his hand to his stomach, where the unsub had elbowed him pretty hard in the middle of the struggle. “I'm fine. Nothing I can't handle.”
“Sure?”
He nodded and ran his fingers gently over his stomach, wincing as he tried to hide the pain. You always thought he wasn't very good at hiding things. As soon as he looked into your eyes and saw your worried face, he repeated that he was fine. You raised a skeptical eyebrow, not believing him for a second about his supposed well-being. You had spent enough time with him to know when he was hiding something, just by looking into his eyes.
“You're a terrible liar.” You said, looking at him with narrowed eyes while he repeatedly shook his head. “Then let me see.”
Spencer's eyes widened at your request, but the blush that appeared on his cheeks betrayed that there was more than embarrassment in his expression. He hesitated for a moment, but finally agreed, knowing he wasn't going to get out of this one. He slowly lifted his shirt, wincing as he did so, revealing the large red bruise on his stomach, just above his hip.
Your gaze fell on the large red bruise on his stomach and you gasped, covering your mouth in shock. It was much larger than you had expected and the color much more intense. You reached out tentatively and gently touched the bruised skin, causing him to flinch involuntarily.
“Are you in much pain?” You asked in a worried voice, trying to decipher his expression.
“It hurts a lot.” He nodded slowly, wincing as you touched the sensitive area, sending a shiver down his back. “But I'll be fine, really.”
“Okay.” You whispered, not knowing if it was time to move away from him or not. Not knowing what to do, you spoke again and didn't move. “I wanted to thank you for what you did, I haven't been able to before.”
He seemed surprised by your appreciation, and even more so when you stopped touching him and took a step back.
“I would never let anyone hurt you.” He said seriously, as if it were an oath.
You looked at him for a few seconds to make sure he meant it, and then you looked down at the ground. Something inside of you was screaming at you that this was the time to talk to him and put all your doubts on the table for him to resolve. You needed answers or you would go crazy, and maybe this was the time.
“Spencer.” You called out to him and waited for him to look at you to start talking. “I wanted to ask you what's wrong, if I did something or I don't know, apologize if it was like that, because it's terrible to see you avoiding me.” You began to speak quickly because you were nervous. “And if it's about the other night...our date and all that. I'm really sorry if I made you uncomfortable and pushed you into something.”
“No, you didn't do anything.” He stopped you immediately and tried to touch your face to make you look into his eyes, but he couldn't because of a sudden pain in his stomach and he had to lean against the sink. “The date went well, very well. It was actually wonderful.”
“What's wrong with you, why are you acting like this all of a sudden?” You asked him. You asked him, taking a few steps toward him and noticing that his eyes were on the painkillers you had left on the sink. Then you noticed how dilated his pupils were. “Are you in a lot of pain? Do you need these?”
“I'm fine, I'm not acting out in any way.” He replied, completely ignoring your last question, but still with his eyes on the meds.
“Come on, I know you. I know there's something wrong with you, and you don't have to hide it.” You persisted, trying to understand what was happening to him. You could tell by his body language that he was tense and defensive.
“I said I'm fine.” He cut you off.
“No, you're not, I realized something is wrong.” You tried to approach him because of his erratic behavior. His hands had begun to shake and his fingers were inches from the box of painkillers. “You can trust me, I know you and I'm here for you.”
“You think you know me that well already?” His tone made you feel uncomfortable and invasive. You could tell he was bothered by your implications. “One date doesn't get you that far.”
Ouch, that was a low blow.
“I didn't say that, Spencer.” You said, trying not to sound defensive. You didn't want to start a fight when you were just worried about him. “I just want to help you.”
“I don't need your help.”
You were silent for several seconds, your eyes following his to the painkillers. “But you need these, don't you?”
The trembling of his hands intensified with your question, you could see his pupils seem to dilate even more at the sight of the drugs in your hands, and his breathing became irregular. He nodded several times after your question, desperate to get his hands on them.
“Since when?”
“What?” He asked confusedly as you took the painkillers from his hands.
“You know what I'm talking about.” You looked him straight in the eye with seriousness and much more concern than before. “I know an addict when I see one.”
Your words had hit him like a big bucket of cold water, freezing him in place. He barely blinked a few times before he spoke.
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
“We both know.” You took a few steps toward him and took his hands, stopping the trembling in them. “And that means you're not alone in this anymore.”
He could hardly believe what you said. His mind had convinced him that if you found out, you would yell at him, turn your back on him, or report him, and instead...you were comforting him?
Spencer felt unable to look at you, the guilt washed over him. He tried to pull away.
“You...I'm a drug addict, and you're not even mad?”
“I'm not one to judge you, but I am one to help you.”
His eyes widened slightly at your words. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He desperately wanted to protest, to tell you that he was hopeless and completely lost...but how could he? You seemed so determined to stand by his side and support him, even after learning such a painful and shameful truth.
“You won't...leave me?”
“I would never leave.” You gave him a small smile and felt him drop his head on your shoulder and relax. “It's going to be okay.”
Finally, he closed his eyes and let out a choked sob without pulling away. Your words had hit him at a low point, and the reality of the situation had come crashing down on him after he had tried to ignore it for so long. He slowly embraced you, feeling that he would collapse without your support.
“Everything will be fine.”
And you were so sure of it that you saw yourself in the mirror every day.
650 notes · View notes
pomefioredove · 4 months ago
Note
I— 'Don't bite your lip, I want to do that' with Jamil possibly? 🥺 I swear that would straight up kill me (in a good way)
I hope you have a good day!
oooh... this one is interesting
Tumblr media
summary: "Don't bite your lip, I want to do that" type of post: short fic characters: jamil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, BRIEF mention of blood, a little kissing, fluffy, not proofread aaand maybe a little ooc
Tumblr media
You are the personification of bad habits.
At first, Jamil avoided you; he thought he had done enough babysitting, and the last thing he needed was to worry himself over your love of biting your nails.
...And then, of course, he caved.
He couldn't just avoid you forever, and if he was going to be your friend anyway, he might as well have tried.
So, Jamil has learned a lot about you in these past few months.
For one, when you're nervous, no amount of verbal reminders will prevent you from fidgeting.
And, for another, you responded shockingly well to physical touch.
It became a habit of his. Away from prying eyes, he'd hold your hands to prevent you from picking your cuticles and tuck your hair behind your ears so you wouldn't chew on it.
He fussed over you in ways not even he understood, but that didn't matter.
He liked the feeling that came with being the leader between the two of you.
There was just one thing he couldn't seem to fix.
"Stop that," Jamil says, running his thumb over your lower lip. He sighs, seeing the blood beading from where you'd bitten.
He takes up a handkerchief, dabbing at your lip.
"There are better ways to deal with your anxiety than taking it out on yourself," he mutters. He would know.
"Sorry,"
"It's not worth apologizing over," Jamil says. "Don't let your thoughts get the best of you. They're supposed to serve you, not..."
He pauses, withdrawing the handkerchief.
"I just wish you'd stop doing that,"
"I can't help it," you say.
He knows that already, he thinks. That's why he's trying to help.
He frowns. Being so worried over someone he has no obligation to worry over is a new feeling, but not an unwelcome one.
It's just... difficult.
"You're too thoughtful for your own good, sometimes," but it's not like he's complaining. It's a welcome break from the thoughtlessness he deals with elsewhere.
Jamil knows it's your first instinct to bite and pick and peel; he's also confident he'll find a way to train you out of it.
Maybe...
No. What a stupid thought. Holding hands is one thing, occupying your lips to dissuade you is another.
"What are you thinking about?" you ask.
Ugh. "Nothing. A solution,"
"I want to hear it," you seem quite adamant. He sighs.
"I thought that if occupying your hands has worked for in the past, that the same might be true of your lips... but that's clearly not as easy,"
You're quiet. Probably thinking, and then overthinking.
"Well... why not? Why not kiss me, I mean?"
Jamil almost drops the handkerchief. Maybe you weren't overthinking this time, after all.
"...Because this is not some silly movie where I say something like... "don't bite your lip, I want to do that", or something equally embarrassing,"
You seem to hold back a giggle, much to his chagrin. "Maybe you should. Maybe it would work,"
"...You're not serious,"
You nod. Sevens, you are turning out to be a handful today. Much more so than usual.
Still...
He sighs. "Fine, but only because you insist,"
A long silence follows. Jamil studies your expression, almost looking for a hint of deceit, but... it's just you.
Genuinely caring about others is such a headache.
He hesitates, and then leans in, pressing a short but sweet kiss to your mouth. It tastes like blood. Not that he minds.
Keeping a cool facade after that is harder than he expected, and it takes him a minute to pull himself together.
At least you look happy with yourself.
Despite his internal embarrassment, he can't help but smile at the thought.
"Distracting enough?"
You're quiet, lost in thought... and then you nod. "I would say so. I guess your theory was right all along,"
Jamil feels a little swell of pride, both at the praise and at the soft look on your face.
"Hm. They often are,"
546 notes · View notes
luneariaa · 4 months ago
Text
ᯓ★٠ ࣪⭑ UNSPOKEN. ✧ KENJI S. { 𝐈 }.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
✰ — PART 1 ; mentions of kenji having some deep; untold sadness, emi mention, the reader being the sunshine friend to kenji + having close relationship.
✰ — probably will have more two - three parts of the story! tried to fit in one part, but it doesn't work somehow ( ╥ω╥ ) to those who wanted to be tagged in the next future parts, feel free to comment or send me an ask <33 !! ���₊˚. PART 2.
. dividers by @/strangergraphics ⛓ !!
Tumblr media
GROWING UP, for almost his entire life, KENJI— regardless of the increase of popularity and fame, doesn't really have that much of friends. Does he even have them at this point? He doesn't really have anyone that he could actually rely on; even trusted fully.
Despite everything from the outside of one's possible perspective, he's still the lonely, sweet boy deep down. None has ever truly cracked his persona down and managed to bring out his true self, which a part of him is glad for some reason— but the other, not so much.
The attention that he has received all over the world doesn't really mean anything, not what he silently craved and secretly desperate for.
Companionship, someone who actually cares about his wellbeing as a whole despite his ongoing status.
Yes, of course, he loves the fact that he's able to accomplish something that's quite significant to him, at least— getting all of the attention that they think he truly deserved, but there will always be this one void within his heart; as if begging to be fixed with something that even he himself wasn't so sure about it.
His mansion may have everything that he ever needed, but it still feels bleak, somehow, no matter what he's trying to do. What's the point of having large spaces, when in the end, the mere silence will be his only company?
Kenji doesn't even realize it, but sometimes, he ended up just staring blankly at the empty gaps of his surroundings; feeling lost at the said moment.
His world has been nothing but simply revolving around his stardom life as much as the realization hits him; an endless, monochromatic-colored world that he tacitly faced alone with some fair, or unfair number of struggles.
"Must be a tough day today, yeah Ken?"
"You should take some more needed breaks, at least!" He swiftly got pulled out of his train of thoughts, eyes immediately glancing to the source of sound. This is his reality now, not the one that he keeps on unconsciously reminiscing of.
"Pushing yourself too hard wouldn't be too good for your health, y'know." A euphonious voice scolded him lightly, accompanied with a bright, albeit concerned grin.
Kenji now took notice of you standing by the doorway; your smile remained despite the visible apprehensive look that was directed towards him. Completely aware of the mere truth behind your words alone, he averts his gaze back elsewhere— cracking a small, yet almost forceful of a smile as if he's trying to ease down your concerns.
"Yeah, you got a point. It's just the usual, I guess," he scratches the back of his head while lazily slouching on the bed. "It's not me if I don't mope over some pointless stuff."
"Well, it's not that pointless if it bothers you." You exhale out, gradually pulling him out of the bed.
"Maybe we can try something for the day— maybe you wanted to play baseball for a bit? I'll watch 'cuz you know I suck at those."
He couldn't hold back the snort from escaping, which earned a disapproving pout from you, but nonetheless, you added further.
"Or we could just play around with baby Emi as always! Or both, I don't know.."
"Perhaps that could at least ease your mind for a bit..?"
He could clearly sense your efforts; chuckling as he knows that he doesn't have any other plausible choices, but to simply follow your lead without any complaints. When it comes to you, Kenji knew it would always be futile to try anything quite the contrary from it.
"That sounds nice, actually." A genuine smile, despite the hints of his exhaustion, tugged at the corner of his lips. Has he even noticed it himself on how easy it is for you to coax him out of his shell? "Playing with Emi sounds amazing."
Kenji admitted along with a smirk being present by now, replacing his previous smile while doing some mini stretches here and there.
"I know!" You merely giggled over his words, "Besides, I just know that the baby already misses you. I fed her earlier too, in case you're wondering!" His pretty, midnight-colored eyes seemed to brighten up after you finished speaking for a bit.
"At this rate, I think you're spoiling her a bit too much," he castigated facetiously, earning an eyeroll from you when one of his hands ended up atop of your head— giving it a playful ruffle.
"Well, what can I say.."
"She's just a cute, big baby."
His genuine smile returned in mere seconds, finding the whole idea to be quite endearing; causing for him to feel the warmth that's starting to blossom within his chest. He's totally aware of his whole responsibility at this point— unintentionally, yet welcoming the idea of becoming a father to the baby kaiju, now willingly to take care of her because she's one of the reasons that actually changed him for the better.
Throughout the whole conversation that the two of you have shared with one another, it seemed as if the burdens on his shoulders has been lifted away; the atmosphere becoming more comfortably lighter than before without you even realizing it yourself.
Kenji doesn't even know how, but your sole presence has something in particular that keeps him grounded, and he values you deeply for that.
Even with such mystery that's been shrouding around you, it never really bothered him that much; respecting your boundaries and taking an immediate notice on how you seemed to be uncomfortable with talking about your own past and parents, in a way. He assumed that something might have happened before, hence the vague details you kept telling him— no irritation present ever.
Maybe someday, you'll have the courage to tell him. But for now, you would rather keep it a secret.
Tumblr media
@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are welcomed. all rights reserved.
520 notes · View notes
hrefna-the-raven · 4 months ago
Text
Promise
Horror masterlist - Masterlist - Misc. masterlist
RZ Michael Myers x female nurse reader
Words: 1296
Warnings: strangely none (considering that it's a Myers oneshot^^)
Notes: this has been sitting in my drafts for 3 months now and I still feel weird for posting it, I personnally don't like this oneshot but maybe someone out there might enjoy it, so here you go 😊
Summary: you seem to be the only person who's able to communicate with Michael
Reader: short female reader in mind, but no specific descriptions are used
Tumblr media
"These eyes will deceive you. They will destroy you. They will take from you your innocence, your pride, and eventually your soul. These eyes do not see what you and I see. Behind these eyes one finds only blackness, the absence of light."
Those were Doctor Loomis' words about the most feared patient within Smith's Grove Sanitarium and everyone agreed...everyone except you. That's why you found yourself in the middle of the observation room, with Michael towering over you. You were waiting for the doctor to arrive, alone except for the guards outside who kept a vigilant watch on the two of you through the door's window. You should have been afraid of him but you weren't as you were probably the only human being within these walls who saw something else within Michael's eyes, a bittersweet sadness you were all too familiar with. You gestured for him to sit down, he hesitated for a moment before complying. Even while sitting, he still loomed over you, so you approached him cautiously, careful not to make any sudden movements.
"May I touch it?", you asked in a soft voice, settling yourself in front of him while pointing at his mask, "I promise I won't remove it. It's just...beautiful...and I'd like to get a closer look."
His icy blue eyes gazed at you, displaying a faint hint of contemplation, yet without uttering a single word or making any movement. You waited patiently, but since there was no response after a minute, you made the decision to proceed. Your delicate fingers grazed over the papier-mâché mask, brushing away a few strands of his long blond hair and delicately tucking them behind his ear. His breath hitched the moment you briefly touched his skin and a grin spread across your lips. Your hand now found his head, patting it sweetly while humming a happy melody. His breaths grew heavier and his head tilted, leaning in against your touch. Your gaze shifted from his disheveled hair to his eyes, and you found yourself getting lost in the dilated pupils that slowly engulfed the blue around them. Beneath the darkness of murder and madness, there still existed a little boy who longed for love, family, or even just a simple human connection.
"Nurse!"
The metallic clanking of the opening door and Loomis' voice startled you and your hand instinctively retreated as your eyes wandered to the doctor.
"You're needed elsewhere, I'll take it from here", he said softly yet assertively, taking a seat in front of Michael.
As you tried to turn around, you sensed a firm grasp on your wrist. Michael's fingers were wrapped around it tightly, keeping you in place as his pleading eyes found yours. Despite the intensity of his grip and the fact that he had already taken the life of a nurse, you felt an overwhelming sense of tranquility. Leaning closer to him, you gently attempted to pry his fingers away from your wrist.
"I'll be back as soon as I can", you whispered, a smile gracing your lips, "I'll drop by your room if it's too late, I promise."
Finally, he released his hold on you, and for a fleeting moment, a glimmer of hope flickered in his eyes, his hand rising slowly to wave at you. It didn't feel right to leave, but there was no other choice. As the door closed behind you, you stole one last glance through the window, your heart heavy at the sight of Michael's lingering gaze while Loomis scribbled something down in his notebook almost frantically.
Tumblr media
It was finally the end of your shift but as you changed out of your uniform, your thoughts drifted back to Michael, the commitment you had made hanging over you like a menacing shadow. Hanging the uniform in your locker, you made your way through the hallways.
"Aren't you supposed to be home by now?", Cruz asked, mopping the floor around Michael's room.
"Yes but I made a promise", you replied, offering him a polite smile as you paused at the door, gently knocking and waiting.
Despite not being alone, the hallway felt eerie. The dirty white walls seemed to stretch out into an infinite torment as your gaze wandered down to the floor, all the way to the end. A sudden thud at the door made you jump, eyes darting towards the barred window where you discovered Michael peering back at you through his mask. As your heartbeat calmed down a bit, the corners of your mouth turned into a gentle smile and you placed a hand on the side of the window.
"See? I promised you I'd be back."
Cruz chuckled and stepped up beside you, slowly unlocking the door.
"Be careful", he whispered, twisting the key in the lock, "he's dangerous but I still believe it would be more personal and easier to greet him without the barrier of a solid metal door. Saw you two this afternoon, I believe it'll do Mikey some good, if you're good to him, he's good to you...in his own way."
With an encouraging smile, he pushed open the door and stepped aside. Michael remained motionless, his eyes fixed on your form as you cautiously entered his room. A gasp escaped your lips when you beheld the walls adorned with the many masks he had crafted over the past fifteen years. It felt surreal, like you'd just fell into another, darker, realm of mysteries and twisted wonders. Tentatively, you took a few steps closer, running your fingers along one of the masks hanging just above his desk. It stood inbetween all the colours as jt was painted all in white with cut-out eyes and a subtle dark gray line at the bottom resembling lips while the top was made of different black papier-mâché strands which gave the face less of a creepy and more of that weird out-of-bed hair look, eliciting a small giggle from you. Before you could react, a hand reached over your shoulder, plucking the mask from the wall and presenting it to you. You took it, careful to not damage it and turned around, your fingers nervously toyed with the loose coloured paper strands.
"For me?", you asked almost in a whisper.
Michael simply nodded and walked back to his bed, sitting down on the edge. You weren't sure if you should say or do anything else. The bond that was forming between the two of you was unusual and extraordinary. The silent killer and his nurse, an unexpected connection that blossomed like a foreign flower in the midst of a desert. 
"I...uh...need to get home now but I'll see you tomorrow", you offered him a smile, "and thanks for this. I love it and it'll get a special place at home."
You held up the mask before turning away, walking past Cruz who locked the door once again.
"I don't understand what it is with you but Mikey likes you, usually no one is allowed to touch anything in that room, not even me."
"Well maybe it's because I see a bit more in him than just the mindless killer everyone else believes him to be", you shrugged your shoulders, heading down the hallway with Cruz following behind you.
You felt his hand on your shoulder, forcing you to stop just as you were about to pass the last door of this floor.
"Whatever you see in him, don't forget what he has done", Cruz urged, "for your own sake."
The warden's words carried a subtle acknowledgement of the harsh reality, yet they were delivered with a touch of kindness. He seemed to be the only other person, apart from you, in this place who believed that there was more to Michael than just brutality and an unnerving silence.
Tumblr media
Part 2 - Mask
441 notes · View notes
judesmoonbeauty · 2 months ago
Text
Miss Fairytale Keeper, Come Have Fun With Us: Jude Jazza END
Tumblr media
Translations will not include screenshots or CGs as mentioned here. Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. Thank you, for you support! ☾.
Tumblr media
When I reached out, it was Jude’s hand I took.
Jude: If ya let go of me, I won’t letcha off.
Kate: Okay!
He makes me stand up, and kicks away all those attacking me, one after the other.
Jude: Tch, what kind of management do they have to be so hated like this?
Kate: Should YOU be the one to say that about other people?!
Jude: Don’t say unnecessary things!
The ones who attacked me were thin, and looked very poor.
They’re people who’ve lost something very important to them through gambling.
Even if I do sympathize with them a little, it’s never an excuse to draw deadly weapons.
Jude: Run!
Punching and kicking, he defeats his enemies one after the other, pulling me along strongly, and as we head for the door, we dodge bullets in the thick black smoke.
As we left the casino, explosions sounded behind us.
We kept running until we reached a nearby port.
Jude: I’m havin’ a real shitty day.
Kate: Is it okay now?
Our fastened hands were easily released, and the warmth of my right hand cooled quickly.
Feeling a bit lonely, I opened my mouth to gloss it over.
Kate: In the end, we didn’t collect any evidence.
Jude: There’s evidence.
Kate: What?
I’m not sure where he got it from, but holding a thick ledger in his hands, he handed it to me.
When I looked inside, I saw things other than money that had been wagered in the casino so far, and a list of customers who received them alongside Viscount Smith’s signature.
Kate: When did you get this?!
Jude: Took it from that damned Viscount when the explosion happened.
(I couldn’t see because of the smoke, but I guess that’s what happened.)
Based on the overwhelming evidence, the casino will be brought to justice before her Majesty the Queen.
Just as I was feeling relieved over completing the mission, I suddenly remembered something.
Kate: If I had known that I was being used for collateral, I would’ve bet….
(I knew that Jude would win…..)
Then he made a disgusted expression…..
Jude: Our princess doesn’t seemta understand why she was prohibited.
As we stood facing each other, the sea breeze blew through his hair.
Jude: Ain’t no way someone who shows their emotions so easily could win.
Jude: Imagine how much a young woman without much money would hafta pay if she lost?
(Ah…..)
I recall the words of Viscount Smith and realize.
(Selling my body, experiencing atrocious things, the worst case scenario….)
A chill ran down my spine as I realized how naive I’d been.
The client list had records of women and children being sold, and I finally understood those repeated words had been for my sake.
(Jude said that he’d protect me.)
Feeling mixed emotions of his kindness and my own naivete, i bit my lip and looked down, but when his shoes came into view, I looked up.
Jude: Really, cantcha say thanks to the person who saved ya?
Kate: …! Thank you.
When I expressed my gratitude to him, who is foul-mouthed but kind,
Jude: Seems like Crown’s Fairytale Keeper has grown attached to the admirable Vogel.
Jude: Kissin’ the winner. I think ya wanted that bad personality.
Kate: That’s something Nica said on his own,
Jude: Such good friends that yer on a first name basis. (Jude’s angy face.)
His raised voice and pouty expression, seemed to indicate he was in a bad mood.
Jude: I mean, is the princess even bold ‘nuff to kiss a man herself.
Upset with his making fun of me, I confronted him.
Kate: It’s just a kiss, I can do it.
Jude: If so, then I’ll betcha won’t.
Kate: If I can kiss you?
Jude: I’ll do anythin’ ya say. Probably impossible anyway.
He’s so confident I can’t do it despite my enthusiasm.
We faced and stared at each other for a while,
(Where should I kiss him……) T-T on the lips.
I looked at his lips, but didn’t have the courage, so I felt conflicted,
Jude: ….Ridiculous. (I’m with him on this one.)
He turned on heel and walked away.
Kate: W-wait a minute!
I quickly grabbed his arm and stood on my tip toes as he looked back at me,
Jude: Huh?
I kissed his forehead.
Kate: ….I kissed you.
Kate: Now, please listen to what I have to say.
He put his hand to his forehead, his eyes slightly open,
Kate: I’m Crown’s Fairytale Keeper, not Vogel’s Fairytale Keeper!
Starting to feel embarrassed, I ran past him.
Kate: That’s why I’m going home!
A few seconds later, with the sound of him turning around, only one word was heard.
Jude: Kid.
(He’s making fun of me again…..!)
When I turned to say something back, I saw the softest expression on his face.
Kate: Huh……
It was as warm as sunlight, and it was the first time I’d seen it.
It felt like time had stopped for a moment,
Jude: What kinda dumb look are ya makin’?
His grumpy face returned immediately.
Jude: Hurry ‘n go home.
He started walking and I followed him quickly.
Kate: Please wait!
Perhaps the reason why I didn’t stand next to the swinging jacket that was a step ahead of me, was because the excitement I felt still hadn’t gone away.
Tumblr media
[Master List] [Jude Epilogue]
Heh, jelly Jude. Pouty Jude. More of that please.
Dividers: @.adornedwithlight
Tags List: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @letter-from-afar @nateko @cosmowgyrall. @lunaaka
152 notes · View notes
hey-august · 11 months ago
Text
A Favor for the Captain - Chapter 1 | NSFW (Buggy x afab!reader)
Tumblr media
Description: You expected to spend night duty alone, but your captain decides to keep you company. Together you enjoy some light hearted conversation and silly jokes, before Buggy asks for an unexpected, but not unwelcome, favor. Word count: Just under 2.5k A/N: This is probably just going to be 2 chapters. I have the next chapter outlined, so hopefully it'll be ready to post soon. Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, buggy x afab!reader, no use of Y/N, dry humping, bad jokes, pathetic and embarrassed buggy because he's bad at communicating. All parties are consenting adults.
→ Chapter 2
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
“Make good choices!” you called out to your crewmates as they streamed off the ship and into the night. It had been ages since any of you had free time and most of the crew chose to spend it in town, savoring goods and experiences that were sparse out at sea. Fresh food, endless alcohol, and sex with people you didn’t work with.
You, on the other hand, were stuck on the ship. Your freedom was clipped short when you were put on night guard duty. Someone had to mind the ship at night and it fell to the new recruit who didn’t know they should lie about already having plans. Secretly, you didn’t mind. There was supposed to be a meteor shower soon and this gave you an excuse to look for the shooting stars.
The dark and quiet night draped over the ship, a heavy blanket that muffled the soft crashes of sea. A soft breeze danced through the palm trees on the shore, moving them in time with the echoes of music and laughter that drifted from town. You were laid out on the deck, positioned to search the sky. Each pinprick of light was still in place, almost mocking you for remaining on the ship and not exploring elsewhere. As if you had a choice. 
Lost in thought and drifting among the constellations, you missed the sound of footsteps approaching your solo viewing party. They moved in time with the sound of waves, a natural ability from someone bound to the sea. Eventually you realized that the feeling of being watched wasn’t pouring from the watchful moon and stars, but from a presence nearby.
Your captain broke into a grin at the sight of your panicked double-take. The first look expressed confusion and the second carried fear. Neither were emotions that were foreign to him, the pirate clown has seen both directed at him many times before. But watching your head whip around to confirm it was the captain and the way your eyes widened was downright comical. 
Before you could scramble to your feet, Buggy crouched next to you. You sat up and surveyed his face, trying to assess how absolutely fucked you were. Honestly, it was hard to read anything past the fake smile painted on his face, but he looked more bemused than pissed. This could work in your favor.
“So…guard duty?” Buggy broke the silence first.
You cringed, unsure how to answer. How could you convince the captain you were on duty when you didn’t even hear him walk over? The guy wears heavy boots. On the plus side, he wasn’t wearing his coat full of knives, bombs, and other superfluous noise makers. Even still, that wasn’t enough of an excuse.
“What were you even looking at?” he questioned, each word emphasized by his mischievous smile.
“The stars,” you answered, glancing back up at the silent audience. At the edge of your vision, you saw Buggy also turn towards the sky. “There are supposed to be shooting stars, but I haven’t seen any.”
“Ever?” He turned his attention back to you. The question caught you off-guard and you shook your head.
“Damn, if I had the right prop I could make your night.” Buggy could see the gears turning in your head, producing a complete lack of understanding. He sighed disappointedly and mimed shooting at the sky before gesturing at himself. “Shooting…star…” It was so obvious.
You groaned and covered your face, not sure if your laughter was because it was actually a good joke, or because Buggy delivered the gag like it was. Satisfied with your response, Buggy joined you in sitting on the wooden floor and looked back at the sky.
Massaging the rest of the laughter out of your cheeks, you turned towards your captain. “Have you ever seen one? A real shooting star?”
“Countless times. They’re really a sight to see…the stars know how to put on a show.” 
In the corner of his eye, Buggy saw you nod as he spoke, noting how you gazed at him a moment longer than usual. Normally the attention would make Buggy feel self-conscious, but the air between you two felt comfortable. It always did. Not that you two interacted much, but he picked up on your calm composure, even when he was wreaking havoc on the crew. Even now, as you eased yourself back into lying on the floor, you exuded a sense of peace. Moving naturally, as if you were hanging out with a close friend and not your boss. Maybe this was all conjured by the loneliness in his head. Still, Buggy indulged in the atmosphere. He joined you in spreading out on the floor for a better view of the sky and there you both lay, under boundless celestial nightlights. 
“Do you know the names of the constellations?” you questioned, putting a pause to the relaxed silence you were sharing.
Buggy nodded and started rattling off celestial names while a disembodied gloved hand floated overhead, pointing out each group of stars. After the first few, he started adding in a few made up constellations.
“Big Richie, it’s a magnificent, fearsome, circus lion.” “The Big Top Tent! See how it encompasses everything?” “Oh, this is my favorite, the Genius Jester Hat! It-”
The last one was cut off when your chuckles exploded into full-fledged laughter, satisfying the clown. “Alright, alright, I get it,” you choked out and elbowed his arm.
Buggy summoned his hand back, suddenly, hyper aware of how close you two were. Shoulders touching slightly after your giggle-fest. Hands a breadth apart. Fingers so close they could touch if he simply reached out. Heat grew in the places close to you, as if you were setting him on fire. 
You weren't aware, but you were doing it again. Consuming his mind, his attention. The way you always watched him - observed, really - interested Buggy. Occupying areas of his mind until there were days where he could only think of you. Think of ways to get your eyes on him. Your attention focused on him. Your laugh creating music for his ears. Your smile. Your lips.
There were also nights where the thoughts of you flooded his mind. At first he’d ignore them, believing it was a passing fancy. But they wouldn’t leave him alone. Every glimpse of you kept the tantalizing visions buoyant. Any shred of attention you gave him added to the relentless waves in his head, until he succumbed. He’d let the swell of endless thoughts and images consume his body until he was left shuddering and gasping your name in the dark. And now, that familiar tempest was brewing inside the pirate.
Buggy pulled his knees up, hoping the position would hide the bulge growing in his pants. Sure, he could leave, but he felt greedy. He wanted more. He wanted to stay close to you. To listen to your breathing. Feel the heat of your body…
“Captain?” Your voice snapped him back into the moment. He hummed an acknowledgement.
“I hope this isn’t too forward, but I’ve been wondering why you always wear gloves.” You nudged your hand against his, skin against fabric.
“Why? It’s part of my schtick. My role as a performing artist,” Buggy boasted.
“Mmm, part of your costume?”
“Exactly.” Buggy was pleased that you understood, but your next question tested that warm feeling.
“Are you performing now? Is this a bit?”
Buggy stayed silent. He held up his gloved hands, thinking about how to answer. To be honest, he wasn’t sure himself. It didn’t feel like a bit or a performance. There was something genuine here.
You watched as Buggy pulled off his gloves and set them down. So that was his answer. Seeing his bare hands felt surprisingly intimate. His nails were painted. Thankfully the dark night hid the blush overtaking your face. You copied Buggy and held out your hands. The two of you mimicking each other, palms raised to the sky as if waiting to collect the stars themselves.
Buggy reached over to grab one of your hands, remarking at how small it is compared to his. Other than the tell-tale calluses that all pirates have, his skin was soft. You liked how his grasp enveloped your hand. It was gentle. Cautious. Buggy liked how your hand felt in his. Warm and accepting.
Something was caught in the pirate’s throat. Words he knew he shouldn’t say, but would cause him to explode if he kept them contained. Buggy swallowed the nerves that threatened to shake his voice.
“I need you to do me a favor.” 
“Yes, Captain?”
Fuck. Even though Buggy has heard those words from you many times before, this time it sounded different. Better.
“Get on top of me.”
You turned your head to see if you heard him right. Before you could ask and confirm, his detached hands were tugging and nudging you to move. Your body felt clumsy. It was in disbelief, trying to catch up to the thoughts running through your mind and the demanding hands maneuvering it into place. Nervous and confused, you straddled Buggy - trying very hard not to sit on him - and looked down. This was something you imagined before, but it was not how you expected it to go. Although Buggy avoided looking at you, choosing to scowl at a random area on the deck instead, the hands holding your hips told you that this is what he asked for
“Cap-”
“Don’t say anything. J-just…just do me this favor.” 
He saw you nod in the corner of his eye. He finally relaxed his legs, laying them back down. The hold on your hips tightened and Buggy pressed you down, wanting you to truly be on top of him. You weren’t prepared for the hard object beneath you or for it to press back when you made contact. You jumped in surprise but Buggy kept you in place. Finally, he looked at you. His eyebrows were pulled into a frown and his jaw was tight. As expressive as the pirate clown was normally, this was one expression you couldn’t decipher. There was the usual frustration, but also embarrassment - or was it fear? - and want.
You let his hands ease you back down on to the erection trapped in his pants, sighing as it sat snuggly against you. Buggy’s hands kneaded your hips as he hissed at the feeling. While his grasp was gentle when he held your hand, the way he squeezed your body was not the same. He clung to you as if you were the last match in a dark room. Something he desperately needed. Something that would grant all his wishes.
Buggy’s cock felt so hard that it was almost painful just sitting on it. When his hands began to pressure your hips back and forth, you welcomed the movement and rocked in time with his hold. Whenever he throbbed against your body, you returned the gesture by pressing into him more. You knew Buggy enjoyed that sensation by how he groaned and moved underneath you in ecstasy. It was mesmerizing and you wanted more. Leaning forwards, you placed your hands on Buggy’s chest and angled your hips so that you could grind yourself against his entire length. 
The unexpected pressure eased a low moan from the pirate. His eyes had been fluttering but now they opened wide to watch you. Fucking beautiful. That’s all Buggy could think at the moment. Your head was tilted back in bliss while little moans and whimpers slipped from your mouth. The way you worked your body on his, driving your hips against his cock, was far better than any meteor shower. Buggy felt himself get closer to the edge thinking about how your cunt was so close. Only a few measley layers of fabric kept him from ramming himself into your wet heat and fucking you until you saw stars.
You noticed that his cock was becoming needier by the moment, throbbing and twitching below you. Rolling your hips, you rubbed your clit against his hardness. The sensation rocked through your body, a terrible side effect of the delicious feeling which left you weak. Eager to chase the climax that was close, you wanted to ask your captain for help. Before you could get a full word out, your head was pulled backwards. A disembodied hand was entangled in your hair, drawing you into an arch. The change in position left your mouth open, but the tension prevented you from saying anything more. Unable to keep pressure on your clit, you felt the climax ebb away.
“S-shhhh, n-not a word,” Buggy groaned. 
He knew he took advantage of his position as your captain and couldn’t bear to think about what you might say while he was exerting that power. It was cowardly and pathetic, but he was too far gone.
Although Buggy still had one hand on your hip, he started bucking against you. His movements were forceful and sloppy. When Buggy gasped and his hips stuttered, you knew that he reached his end. You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to imagine the lewd face he must be making. What his cock looked like releasing each stream of jizz. How it would feel in your cunt. Or in your mouth. What his cum tastes like.
Once Buggy stilled underneath you, he finally loosened his grip on your hair. Breathlessly, you looked at the flushed, panting, pirate before you. As the heat from Buggy’s climax dissipated and the load in his pants began to cool and clump together, he felt ashamed and sick of himself. He could barely look you in the eyes again. Giving into his cowardice, Buggy tried to ease you off of him before resorting to his devil fruit ability when he couldn’t quickly detangle your bodies.
“Wai-”
“Thanks.” Buggy spoke over you, still afraid to hear what you might say. What you might regret. He awkwardly picked his gloves off the floor before leaving, opting to have his feet walk away while the rest of his body floated. He already felt like shit and feeling the cold globs of sadness in his pants rub against him wouldn’t help.
And that’s where you finished the rest of your guard duty that night. It gave you plenty of time to think about what happened and analyze. And overthink. And overanalyze. That was an awful way to leave someone after using them like some sort of fuck toy. But…there was a part of you that liked it. He clearly wanted you. Or part of you. And you found that exciting.
Based on how Buggy practically fled the scene, you weren’t sure how things would be tomorrow. Still you couldn't help but think about what could have happened if you spoke up. What you wish happened instead.
523 notes · View notes
akutasoda · 1 year ago
Text
don't say anything else just stay
genshin ver part 2 [part 1 here]
Tumblr media
synopsis - after a heated argument, maybe a resolve is found in a comfortable embrace
includes - diluc, xiao, kazuha, tighnari, freminet, dottore
warnings - gn!reader, angst to comfort/mild comfort, arguing, some characters are kind of scummy, maybe ooc for some, dottore, minor alcohol mention, wc - 2k
a/n: kept thinking about this and finally after ages i wrote it!
Tumblr media
diluc ragnvindr ★↷
diluc, on the outside, was seen as the rather perfect lover. someone you could easily take home to parents and they would be so impressed, someone who is a classic romantic always aiming to sweep you off your feet.
and while he could be like that sometimes, some rare moments that only and very few knew off made you scoff at any comments about how perfect of a lover he must be. afterall, arguments always tore holes in relationships if not dealt with properly.
normally diluc was attentive and was very good with arguments. you two normally wouldn't worry about them. but sometimes his work life balanced suffered and he brought home all anger he held and unleashed it on you.
this was when problems arised as you both knew he shouldn't do that to you. so when the argument reached a rather harsh point you took the situation into your own hands and left dawn winery. you would return to your residence until diluc calmed down and would properly talk to you.
he stewed in his anger for much longer than he preferred and when he started to calm down he went looking for you. he assumed you would still be in the manor, just elsewhere. but he couldn't find you. and his heart absolutely sunk when adeline informed him you had left ages ago.
he cursed himself for being so reckless and he no longer cared about anything else and knew he had to try and sort things out - hoping you would give him such an opportunity.
when you saw diluc on your doorstep you still had half a mind to ignore him but you knew that would get you nowhere and you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn't miss him. and as soon as you opened the door you could see the noticeable lift in his eyes upon seeing you again.
the silence was quickly swamped with diluc's profuse apologies and regrets. and while he was rambling away you found yourself compelled to crawl into his arms. and so you did. and as soon as you hugged him, and he hugged back immediately shutting up. he basked in the moment as told himself he would never do something like this again as he would be dammed that he should ever lose you.
adeptus xiao ★↷
anyone that ever knew the adepti would know he never understood feelings. in fact one could take a guess from looks alone and assume that he struggles with emotional intelligence. and going into a relationship you were well aware of this and thought you would never mind.
and for the most part you didn't. because after the first major argument you two had he quickly learned that if he wanted to keep what you two had he would have to try and learn. try and learn human emotions. which he very quickly did, while he didn't express them he became surprisingly good at reading yours in particular.
but that didn't mean petty arguments still arose. petty arguments that sometimes would push you over the edge. as sometimes it felt as if you were the only one fighting for this relationship.
sometimes seeing xiao arrive home with scratches and such worried you. while you knew that it was minor and probably did nothing - it did make your mind over exaggerate other scenarios. and when you expressed your concerns, he would brush you off.
and eventually he started arguing back, saying harsh comments that he didn't mean but that didn't stop him from saying them. you were rather shocked it got to this so you left. and the minute you disappeared from his line of vision he panicked.
he realised his mistakes. and he knew he would have to own up to them. he was rarely used to people truly caring for him and when they did he lost them. and so he immediately set out to find you and when he did you were still fuming but to him, atleast you were safe.
he tried to apologize but he struggled deeply to find the right words to express how he truly felt. but seeing him try made you calm down - you knew he was trying his hardest. and you calmed down enough to head back with him and try talk it over properly again.
kaedehara kazuha ★↷
arguments were a rare occurrence with kazuha. he was very rational when it came to it but also did try and avoid getting to the point of an argument with you. but he knew some where unavoidable and that's why he would want to solve them as quick as possible.
most arguments did stem from mistakes. more commonly kazuha being swayed into drinking quite a bit with beidou. now she ment no harm by getting him to enjoy himself with the crew, but in that state he did start saying things he never meant.
so when you were trying to get him to bed as everyone else on the crux had retired for that night, he proved to be rather difficult. so much so that he started hurling insults your way. you knew he meant nothing by it but it still hurt.
and eventually you needed a minute or two to yourself. a few minutes turned into a couple of hours as you decided maybe he needed some space and eventually you drifted to sleep in the spare room on the crux that beidou originally gave you.
waking up the next morning, kazuha had a rather annoying headache but immediately noticed you weren't beside him. and then everything came flooding back to him and guilt consumed him whole. stepping out his room he realised how early it actually was so decided to look for you as silently as possible.
and when he found you in the spare room the guilt seemed to increase. he didn't want to wake you but he wanted to apologize. so he settled for sliding into bed next to you before apologizing even if you couldn't hear as he wrapped his arms around you. this way when you woke, he could sort it out with you.
tighnari ★↷
some may call tighnari stubborn and in retaliation he would just say he was dedicated to his work. and both of those were true. you were well aware that his work often stressed him out and he became very stubborn. and rightfully you didn't like it when he brought it home.
especially after you had a difficult day. wanting to see your boyfriend after a long day just to find him taking his anger out on you for a simple question. you only asked him a simple 'how was your day?' and it seemed as though he hated you.
and so you started retaliating his behaviour in the same way. forming a rather difficult argument. so much so that tighnari said a particularly harsh comment before storming out of your shared residence. you practically scoffed before deciding you had enough and wanted just to go to bed.
tighnari hardly got far before the argument registered in his mind. his ears flattening against his head as he felt regret. but another issue was that he wasn't that great with emotions, so he silently feared that he would make it worse should he do the right thing and turn back to apologize.
but he knew that should he let it last, it would only break the relationship more. so he turned and headed back to apologize. and when he arrived he caught you heading to bed. but it appeared you had no intentions on sleeping with him. and this made his ears and tail sink even further.
and before he knew it apology after apology spilt from his lips. you stared at him and you could feel him pull at your heart strings but you knew should he not learn, this would be a recurring problem. so you gave him a hug and returned to the couch. and he understood.
you two would talk it over in the morning but tighnari barely slept as your missing presence really disturbed his sleep. so much so that in the middle of the night he managed to settle next to you on the couch and almost immediately fell asleep.
freminet ★↷
to many people, they knew freminet was rarely expressive. and even from a distance it didn't take much to figure out that he struggled to express emotions. you knew this going into the relationship and you knew you would have to be patient with him.
but seemingly because of your relationship, he did make an effort to try and get better at expressing emotions. after all communication in different ways is very important. so he knew that this would be a weak point in the relationship but so did you.
and you always told him that he didn't have to try and learn as you couls help him figure it out along the way. but that being said, arguments were very rare. and when they occured they were very different to other arguments.
whenever an argument happened they were always ovee small insignificant reasons. and each time freminet went into this isolated state. he blocked out everything around him and ignored you, secretly hoping the issue went away but this time all it achieved was you going away.
you couldn't help but feel slightly bad for leaving so abruptly but you truly did need time to calm down. and if anything him ignoring you was worse than him arguing back. but freminet had panicked when you left and immediately wanted to find you and apologize.
and you barely heard him until you felt his arms wrap around your midsection as he apologized. and you knew how hard he was trying so you awkwardly shuffled in his grip to return the embrace. you two stayed like taht a little while longer as then you two could properly talk it over.
dottore ★↷
dottore was quite honestly far from being the perfect lover. and to many from the outside they would fear for the people daring enough to be in a relationship with him. but you knew differently. sure he had a very different way of showing affection but maybe you preferred it that way.
and he was a rather rational man - more so when it came to you. so arguments were rare and often dealt with swiftly. but for all the knowledge he had he was very inexperienced in emotional intelligence. so often could be stubborn or dissmissive of your feelings.
a common argument for you two was his work. not so much the fatui part, but the fact that he would most of the time choose to spend all his time in the lab for days on end without speaking to you. rightfully, this made you mad and for a while his segments did dampen this.
but you wanted to see your actual lover not his clones. and eventually he kept needing more and more in the lab. so you decided that if he wasn't going to acknowledge you, you weren't going to acknowledge him. so from the minute you next saw him, you ignored him.
he had little time for your antics. his experiment didn't go anywhere near how he wanted it to go and he did want to see you but now you were ignoring him. ao his already thin patience ram thinner and he eventually made the snide comment about your so called 'childish' behaviour. and eventually an argument ensued.
you had enough of him and left. atleast his segments had more emotional sense than he did. and it was one if the older segments that convinced him to apologize to you. so when he saught you out and found you he immediately dissmissed any segments you found company with.
you still ignored him up until you heard him apologize. you had half a mind to tease him but you knew how hard he struggled with stuff like this so you let him continue. he rambled on and on about how he promised he wouldn't do it again and how sorry he was. and eventually, very reluctantly, he opened his arms as if asking for a hug.
and you felt compelled to agree. you stayed in his embrace as he made his final promise. he soon came to realise actually how much you meant to him and you better believe him that he would do anything to keep you happy with him.
Tumblr media
806 notes · View notes
gay-dorito-dust · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Capture the flag was coming up and your cabin was next to participate alongside the formidable Hermes cabin, but instead of being overjoyed at the opportunity to finally bring glory to your cabin like the rest of your siblings, you were off sulking elsewhere and busying yourself by plucking one blade of grass at a time; unaware that someone had notice your absense and decided to follow after.
‘Hey stranger.’ A voice came from beside said, making you flinch, only to relax when you saw that it was only Luke. ‘Why so sad, you normally love capture the flag.’ He adds, nudging your arm playfully as he flashed you a charming smile.
‘Yeah but after a string of repeat losses, you naturally begin to resent the game you once loved.’ You replied. There was no point denying the obvious fact that you cabin never had the best of luck when it came to capture the flag, it had always been that way even before you first arrived at camp, but at the time all you truly cared about was getting claimed by your godly parent.
You had only started truly resenting capture the flag after your second or third loss by the Ares cabin. Ever since then you hated the game because each time it ended the same, with your cabin loosing while the opposing cabin mocking you by rubbing their victory in your faces. Luke, much like everyone else, was well aware of this but didn’t feel it was necessary to keep bringing it up, especially not when he was trying to cheer you up somewhat and would try to divulge your attention elsewhere instead.
‘Well nows the chance to change all that.‘ he began. ‘To bring triumph to your cabin and be the one to revel in victory for once.’
You scoffed. ‘Yeah because we’ve had the great Luke Castellan, best swordsman in camp half blood, carry us on his back to our first ever win.’ You said bitterly, looking anywhere else than the boy with the dark, kind eyes. ‘What a joke.’
‘That’s not true.’ Luke tried to argue.
‘Yeah it is, you don’t need to lie in order to save my feelings Luke, I’m not stupid and neither is my cabin, why do you think we look our most happiest when any other cabin that’s not ours is up to play?’ You asked rhetorically, knowing that he very well knew the reason why. Luke, not wanting to wave the white flag of surrender then said, ‘even if that maybe the truth then they’ll also have to recognise that out of your entire cabin, you are the most determined and hardworking even in the most dire of circumstances.’ You could only look at him with an unreadable expression as Luke continued his speech.
‘Even when you know you’ve already lost, you still give it your all to make even the slightest bit of change. If it was anybody else, they would just give up but not you, not my y/n.’ Luke said fondly as he clasped one of his hands with your own, smiling softly when you squeezed his hand. ‘You’re too stubborn to accept defeat unless all other options were exhausted. An admirable trait to have if you ask me.’ You chuckled, feeling somewhat better from his words, not entirely but it was better than sulking the rest of the night and well into the next morning.
‘Some people would call that desperation to win.’ You told him as he shrugged his shoulders. ‘Then they’ve obviously never had to fight for something they always wanted but could never have.’ He replied oddly serious, looking at you intently as he said those words; which made you wonder if you were still talking about the same thing. ‘What do you mean by that-‘ before you could finish, Luke stood up abruptly, pulling you up with him as a result of your hands still being firmly clasped with one another. ‘Give me a warning before you pull that shit again, yeah?’ You said, smacking his arm lightly, causing him to laugh.
‘I’ll take that into consideration for next time, but we should probably try and get as much sleep as we can so we don’t look like the walking dead before the game even begins.’ He playfully chided and it felt more of an excuse as to avoid having a deeper conversation about something, but you were already staring to feel the effects from that mornings activities beginning to weigh on you as you tried to bite back a yawn.
‘I second that decision.’ You said, tugging your hand from his own, feeling Luke’s hesitance in letting go and thinking nothing of it other than something your mind made up as you began to depart for your cabin. ‘I shall see you bright and early tomorrow, will I?’ You questioned.
‘Yes but you better not try and wake me up earlier than necessary like last time.’ Luke replied as you made a face. ‘Me? Prank you? I would never.’ You said dramatically at the accusation being thrown your way, seeing you get back to your old self was enough to reassure Luke that you’d be more then ready for tomorrow as he crossed his arms over his chest, brow raised as he smirked. ‘Oh yeah? How do I know you and the Stoll brothers haven’t done something to my bed back at the Hermes cabin, hmmm?’
‘You’ll just have to take my word for it that I don’t have any connections in any one of their pranks that may happen tomorrow, and if they tell you otherwise, they’re dead wrong.’ You said before disappearing up the trail towards your cabin, leaving Luke to watch on as he chuckles to himself. ‘Guess we’ll have to wait and see.’
480 notes · View notes
euseokz · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
@ eunseok — how could you hide stuff like that from me baby, you know that only riles me up more . . cws : use of sex toys . dom/sub dynamic . wc : 0.8k+ . genre : smut
Tumblr media
BOYFRIEND! EUNSEOK who goes a little crazy when he finds out you have a sex toy hidden away in one of your drawers, somehow never having mentioned that to him in the few months you had been together.
“i assumed you’d already know!” you’d argue, resting your hip to the side against your counter as you both stood in the middle of your kitchen, your conversation about baking a cake together having somewhere along the way lost itself and became about you having a dildo stored in your bedside table.
at first you could see eunseok was genuinely surprised, but now his eyes were slowly turning darker with lust, heavier as what you could only assume were filthy thoughts filled his mind. eunseok took a step closer to you, bringing you towards him by placing both hands on your waist, hiding them under the fabric of your pajama shirt and pressing his cold fingers against your naked skin.
“how could i ever know if you never told me, baby?” he asked rhetorically, his tone finally telling you what his expression already did — eunseok was horny, and the only thing he probably wanted in that moment was to move you to your bed and act out whatever fantasies he had bubbling up in his head. “did you use it while thinking of me? did you fuck yourself and imagine it was me?” he continued, voice dripping with arousal, lower than usual, more intimate even. he raised one hand up, brushing your hair gently behind your ear and then caressing your cheek with his thumb, eyes locked on yours the whole time as he spoke.
eunseok came even closer to you, one knee settling between your legs and pressing against your middle while his lips fell to the side of your neck, leaving fleeting pecks on the sensitive skin. “you haven’t answered my question” he pressed after a few moments, nose nuzzling into your skin, mouth by your ear as he spoke in a tone no louder than a whisper. you almost whined, but still mustered up enough self-control to give him a nod, adding a small “yeah, i did”. eunseok loved how easily you fell into a more submissive position, how he didn’t have to do much for you to willingly submit to him when it came to sex. he continued his ministrations in your neck, leveling up and moving towards actually sucking on the skin, licking and biting over every spot he wrapped his lips around, enjoying how you mewled his name, your legs faltering under some invisible weight, the only thing holding you up steady being eunseok’s grip on your hips, his fingers now reaching under your pajama pants and past the band of your underwear, completely pressed against you.
eventually, and not with much more convincing needed, you found yourself in your bed, legs spread wide as you laid down, your bottoms thrown elsewhere while eunseok kneeled in front of you, sleeves scrunched up his arm and hair slightly disheveled as he held your dildo in one hand, the other drawing comforting circles on your inner thigh while he slowly thrusted the toy in and out of your soaked cunt. the feeling of it dragging in and out of you was amazing, somehow only enhanced by the fact your boyfriend was the one pushing it into you. with each movement the toy came out of you glistening even more than before, your slick completely covering the entire length, right down to its base.
“does it feel better when i do it or when you do it?” eunseok asked, starting to go faster, a sly smile on his lips while his dark eyes shined brightly, his look almost mesmerized, as if he knew what he was doing to you — which, all things considered, with how well he already knew your body, he most definitely did. you let out a soft moan, stumbling in your words as you replied that yes, him doing it did make it feel better, that it didn’t feel the same as when you did it.
“you should just say it bluntly, baby” eunseok continued, eyes drifting to your pussy, starting to move the toy more precisely, trying to angle it so it would hit that one spot inside you he knew you liked, his other hand moving to drag over your clit, stimulating it and further enhancing your pleasure, making your legs tremble and your abdomen tense up, your orgasm already starting to threaten to build up. “you prefer it when i fuck you, even if it is with just a stupid toy. you shouldn’t be ashamed to admit that” eunseok continued, continuing to spew absolute filth with a wide, satisfied grin adorning his lips until you were finally cumming around the dildo in his hand, creaming around its girth all while moaning your boyfriend’s name.
“if you put up such a nice show for me when i fuck you with a dildo, i wanna see what you do when it’s actually my cock inside you” eunseok finalized, pulling the toy out of you and starting to undress himself, ready to finally properly turn you into a mumbling mess for him.
289 notes · View notes
just-some-trans-nobody · 10 months ago
Text
December Christmas Monster stories
Day 16.) stalkerish naga neighbor x gn reader.
Gosh sorry everyone it's been too long sense my pause on the December stories I apologize. I'll try posting the rest twice a week to prevent burn out again.
warnings: stalker behavior, pillow sniffing, manipulative behavior, snail tail wrapping around someone, possessiveness
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
The whole apartment complex had lost power the other day, a few people left to go stay elsewhere but not everyone had somewhere else they could go. You were one of these people, you didn’t have anywhere else to crash so you stayed. Staying mostly in your room you were constantly bundled up in all the blankets you owned with probably too many candles lit in one room for light and warmth. 
Wearing a couple layers of clothes you were doing your best to stay warm. At least now the power was out and it forced you to read some of the many books you have been ignoring for who knows how long. About half way into the current book you were invested in, the knock at the door causing you to jump, bringing you out of the book with a startle. Putting the bookmark in it you stood up wrapping a blanket around yourself before shuffling to your door. Opening it you took a peek outside before fully opening it when you saw your neighbor. He was a naga and from the looks of it he was in rough shape.
“Toooo cold…. Can I cooommme innn?” He slurred with heavy eyes, hardly even able to keep himself up. “Shit yeah come inside.” You mumbled stepping to the side to let him slither in. He shivered, feeling your apartment wasn’t much warmer than his own. “My room is warmer, come on, it’ll be too hard warming up the living room for you.” You explained leading him to your room. Once he felt it was warmer there he made his way to your bed and flopped his upper half onto his, his snake body wrapping around himself for warmth. He was out like a light, way too exhausted to do anything else. Frowning you stared at him for a moment before using all your blankets to cover him only leaving yourself with the one you had wrapped around your shoulder before you opened the door for him.
Sitting down you shivered as you went back to reading. After a few hours he woke up from his nap and looked around confused feeling a bit fuzzy. Eyes landing on you he smiled softly as he quietly watched you read. His smile turned to a frown seeing you shiver. Looking down at himself he realized he had pretty much all of your blankets and felt bad. “Come here.” He whispered no longer slurring his speech. “It’s cold, we should be sharing heat for safety.” he explained lifting up some of the blankets. Scooting closer to him you leaned against him as he wrapped his snake half around you. You didn’t really know him so this was making you nervous for a number of reasons. He was attractive but pretty much a stranger. You didn't have many interactions with him other than passing each other in the hallways or asking for a missing ingredient for a meal. It was hard to relax wrapped up in his body. The temperature difference was nice. You had been so cold before but it was just so warm cuddled against him. His arms were wrapped around your waist as his chin was rested on your shoulder looking down at the book you were reading. The words were blurry to him; he was more focused on staring at your hands every time you turned the page. He liked the way they moved. The way your hand flexed lightly as you lifted the page, it was entertaining enough for him. 
He gently nuzzled his face against your neck. The few fleeting moments the two of you shared passing each other in the hallway were always the highlights of his day. He loved catching glimpses of his cute neighbor. Always too nervous to say more than a few polite words to you at a time. But when the power went out Thalisz saw his chance to get closer to you. Being here with you was a Christmas miracle to him. He didn’t want this moment to end any time soon but his luck had finally ran out as his stomachs started to rumble from hunger. He had in such a daze due to the cold he hadn’t been able to feed himself, too weak to do such. “Oh? Your hungry? I should still have some food in the pantry. I haven't made the journey outside yet.” You said wiggling out of his grasp much to his dismay. He wanted to follow but your room was oh so warm and smelled so strongly of you. Your kitchen was cold, he didn't want to go there. Instead he slithered further onto your bed and snuggled against your pillow holding it close. The scent was strong there and he liked it. He didn’t want to leave your home any time soon, he felt he belonged here. Making it his new den wouldn’t be an issue for him not at all but he knew he shouldn’t not yet. Can’t just move into a human's home without talking about it first. He hadn’t realized his eyes had closed until he heard you open the door to your room and step in closing the door quickly so as to not let out all the warm air. “I would have made a pb&j but I can’t open the fridge so it’s peanut butter, honey, and banana. Is that alright?” You asked him holding out the sandwiches. “Yess that sounds delicious.” Thalisz said, sitting up, taking the plate from you and began to eat. 
The two of you started to talk, it was much more than the few words the two of you had spoken in the past and Thalisz was living for it. He was clinging to each word you said focusing on the way you said things, how your lips moved, how your eyes crinkled when you laughed. Thalisz wished he could take a photo of each different face you made but settled for just remembering them for now. When you had started getting sleepy Thalisz grew more giddy at the thought of cuddling you while you slept. “It makes sense for us to sleep in the same bed, for warmth after all.” He reasoned and you nodded your head in agreement. Thalisz was too big to fit his whole body on your bed but that didn’t stop him from trying. It was a struggle not to wrap all of his lower half around you in a corkscrew hold but he knew that would be way too frightening for you to hold you like that, he needed to gain more of your trust first, if he pushed your boundaries too hard so soon he might scare you away. As much as he loved the idea of hunting you down he couldn’t bear the image of your terrified face looking at him in horror. Settling for wrapping only his arms around you he was satisfied with that and closed his eyes pretending to fall asleep. Once he knew for certain you were asleep he opened them back up and watched you sleeping soundly in your arms. Oh how it made his heart race seeing you so relaxed and vulnerable in his arms. So trusting of him. He knew you were the perfect mate for him, he just knew it. He didn’t dare move a musical content on just stare at your sleeping form for hours until he had fallen asleep without his permission. Thalisz wanted to stay up longer and keep watching you but the sound of your soft breathing had lulled him into his own deep slumber.
Once he finally woke up his eyes immediately looked to you seeing you still in his arms but awake not idly scrolling through your phone. His heart skipped a beat, he had only dreamed of waking to you being in his arms, was he disappointed you were already up meaning he couldn’t stare at your sleeping form longer? Yes absolutely he wanted to see how you looked waking up but this was better than waking up alone. “Powers back on.” You told him when you finally noticed he was awake. “Would have gotten up and made us something warm to eat but I kinda can’t get up.” You gestured down, making him look down too to see that your legs were completely covered by his lower half. He must have curled up on top of you when he was sleeping trapping you there for who knows how long. Thalisz was half tempted not to get up and keep you there in bed with him all day, maybe even all week. Sighing he said a soft sorry and moved his tail off of you releasing you from his hold. 
Laying in your bed still the words you had greeted him with finally clicked in his tired brain. The power was back on. Eyes widening he scrambled to think of an excuse to why he shouldn’t leave right away. He didn’t want to leave, how could you when you were here and not in his own apartment. This was so unfair, how dare the world give him this and then rip it all away from him too soon. Thalisz felt like crying but he knew he was being a baby, now that he had spent the night that meant he was closer to you, he had reasons to stop by. Maybe bring you things as a thanks for your help, that would give him more chances. He could ask to get coffee with you, that could lead into doing more with you. Thalisz kept thinking about more and more ways he could do to get more time with you, his tail was in the door now he had taken a chance and you hadn’t closed it on him he had hope. “The apartments are still pretty cold, maybe you should stay here a little longer till the building warms back up?” You called from the kitchen. A cheshire grin formed on his lips, it seemed you were opening that door wider for him letting him in. Thalisz was so delighted you felt the same about him, his oh so perfect mate. You loved him too even if you didn’t know it yet. 
391 notes · View notes
sungbeam · 13 days ago
Text
𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 — part two
Tumblr media
nonidol!ji changmin x f!reader
messing around with demonic rituals isn't exactly how you imagined getting bound to changmin's soul. (note to self: salt circles don't work when you draw the pentagram inside it...)
▷ genre, warnings. f2l, technically a college au, demon au (it's different from night terrors i swear. also it's not as intense lol), comedy, suspense/mystery, swearing (a lot... sorry 😭), drinking, low fantasy/supernatural elements, mentions of chronic illness, mentions of rituals and pentagrams, self induced soulmates? 🤔 but ofc 😂, kissing, mentions of blood, very small amount of violence (like one scene), what is a mfking slow burn like who needs to take their time w falling in love i sure don't 🤷🏻‍♂️, one allusion to death
▷ part word count. 18.5k out of 34.8k / read part one here
a/n: HI IF UR STILL HERE THEN YAY 😭 PLS DONT READ THIS WITHOUT HAVING READ THE FIRST PART. ALSO, ENJOY!
Tumblr media
PART IV: THE SPELL
THERE WERE ONLY SO many ways to make a boy squirm. On top of that, there were only so many ways to make a demon boy squirm. Halfling status was of no consequence to certain observations of patterns involving the laws of attraction.
Case in point: Ji Changmin's dilemma.
“You look a little lost, man,” Hyunjae chortled into his friend's ear to bypass the bone-rattling volume of the house music.
Shuhua's friend Yangyang had thrown quite the rager in his shared house with his roommates. There was probably about a hundred people shoved into the first floor of the house, with some littered across the lawn outside and the backyard, too. The five of you had arrived as a unit and donated a few cases of beer to help the hosts out, but proceeded to grab your own drinks, disperse, and mingle.
Changmin coughed as he blinked furiously out of whatever daze he'd been in. His neck and ears had turned a brilliant shade of vermilion, but the dim lighting was his savior tonight. Oh, to have the shadows on one's side. “What?” he stammered.
Hyunjae's smile widened at his flustered reaction. “I'm sure Yn can introduce you to whoever her friend is.”
The roaring in Changmin's ears dulled considerably. “What?” he repeated, but this time, the word had an upward intonation at the end. Now he was confused.
He glanced back to where you were standing further into the living room. Who?
Oh.
Changmin hadn't even noticed you'd been talking to another person. His focus had been… elsewhere. Not that said focus was anywhere inappropriate in the name of Friendship—of course, the burn in his throat was the alcohol and the tightness in his chest was the soul-bond. That was all. He hadn't been considering the dress hugging your figure or the way your smile brightened your face—no, really it was the entire fucking room. He didn't want to linger on the thought of that torturous car ride over either, with his body pressed against your side and your perfume so sweet in his lungs. Was it possible to replace the very air he breathed with it?
Essentially: he was not faring well tonight. What had gotten into him? He'd attended plenty of parties with you before, and he hadn't been this strung up before.
Or maybe he had… he wasn't so sure of a lot of things at this moment. He wasn't supposed to be able to get tipsy on this human alcohol.
Only a week had passed since the soul bond was forged between you and him, too. Though he knew it was supposed to be an emotional and metaphysical link, he was certain it had nothing to do in terms of creating things that were never there in the first place.
Hyunjae grinned at him and slung an arm around his shoulders. “Come on! We should go introduce ourselves.”
For a moment, Changmin cringed at the thought of him appearing beside you with all the swagger he knew he lacked. He took a deep inhale and glanced back over at you… something in his mind flipped like a switch. “You know what? Sounds like a plan,” he said to Hyunjae, plastering a typical dimpled smile on his face.
The two of them maneuvered their way over to your position. As he gained proximity, the tightening in his chest gradually loosened, a rope slackening. Despite the loosening, it didn't mean the weight had gone away. The weight filled him with something comforting like his heart and lungs weren't alone in his ribcage.
He kept his eyes glued to you as he and Hyunjae neared.
You must have felt his gaze because you turned around to meet his eyes soon enough. There was a dilation in those pretty eyes and a smile that reached them.
“What have you been up to?” Changmin shouted to you over the music as he sidled up beside you. Your shoulders brushed against one another and he fought the urge to pull your form to his.
“Nothing much,” you chirped back, sharing his grin. You gestured to your talking companion. “This is Leona, by the way! She's a friend of Indigo's.”
Changmin finally pulled his eyes away from you. Leona, as you had introduced, was not someone he recognized. He didn't know many of Indigo's friends, but she smiled at him widely. “Nice to meet you!” she said.
“Nice to meet you, too. I'm Changmin,” he nodded back.
“And I'm Hyunjae,” his friend chimed in, raising a hand in greeting. “Did you come with Indigo then?”
Leona nodded her head. “I did! She went to go find Juyeon, so I'm not sure where they are now, but Yn found me wandering and we've been chatting since.” She flicked her attention back over to Changmin, and he cocked his head at the sight of something peculiar. He could have sworn there was a flash of electric blue in her eyes.
“Are you a student here?” he asked. He couldn't have imagined the blue, could he? But if she was a friend of Indigo's, then there was a good chance he hadn't.
“No, I'm from out east by Blue Brook,” she said, shaking her head. “I'm just in town for a couple of days visiting with my, uh, sisters.”
No, Changmin was certain now. Leona was a member of Indigo's coven. Blue Brook was where Indigo was from, and it was well-known amongst the supernatural community in this state as a witch's county. There were probably a dozen or so covens in that one area, but Indigo's was one of the largest. And if Leona was a witch, that meant…
Leona arched her brows at him expectantly. Demon? she mouthed.
Changmin stiffened beside you, and your head whipped over to him when you read her lips, too.
You swiftly turned to Hyunjae. “Hey! I'd love a drink, Jae. Let's go get one!”
Hyunjae's eyes widened as you snatched up his wrist and started hauling him in the direction of the kitchen. “Wha—hello? Bye, I guess?” he laughed in disbelief, sending a wink at Changmin through it.
Changmin pressed his lips together. He knew why you had taken Hyunjae away, but that didn't mean he liked it. Should it not be his wrist you were holding?
“She knows?” Leona's voice tore him out of whatever jealous stupor he was in. That cloud had returned to his head, the tightening to his chest.
He held his hand to his brow. “Yes,” he sighed. “Is there a reason you needed to make it so obvious?”
She shrugged innocently. “He didn't notice.”
“He could've.”
Leona wrinkled her nose at him. “Oh, loosen up. I forget that folks outside of heavily concentrated paranormal centers are so uptight about their identities. It's your heritage, for goddess's sake.”
“You mean you forget that you're privileged enough to live in a highly concentrated paranormal area,” he nearly snarled back at her. Adrenaline rushed into his veins with an uncontrollable velocity and bite. He wouldn't have gotten so worked up about this normally, but he already accepted that tonight was likely going to be filled with the irregular. “If you said it even louder than a whisper, that could've put you, me, and her in danger.”
Especially with some lunatic running around targeting demons with energy-draining curses, he couldn't be too safe.
The witch made a face. “I guess I know why Indigo's no fun now, too. No wonder you're friends…” Her voice trailed off as her eyes found someone behind Changmin.
Changmin peered back over his shoulder and locked eyes with a familiar face in the crowd. Indigo's dark eyes widened considerably at the sight of him before she began shoving her way through partygoers to reach him. He raised his arm up like a flag to signal where he floated in the ocean of people.
The crowd quite literally spit the poor thing out and she had to grapple onto his arm. “Where'd she go?” she exhaled out, head on a swivel.
“She's right—” Not here…? The place where Leona had been right beside him was vacated, as if she hadn't been there at all. Why did she run from Indigo?
“Changmin.” There was a desperate strain behind Indigo's voice as she wrestled his collar with her hands and dragged him down to look her right in the eyes to ensure he was listening. “Leona has been releasing empitachynsia synthios in the party. I don't know exactly where, but I found one broken flask of it on the second floor with Juyo.”
Empitachynsia synthios? In the Old Language most covens grew up learning, that term translated directly to ‘acceleration of emotion.’ Based on the vague knowledge Changmin boasted on potions, empitachynsia synthios was a potent liquid that turned into vapor when exposed to oxygen, affecting those who inhaled it by escalating their emotions to alarming proportions.
Changmin's eyes went as big as Indigo's. “She fucking drugged the party with an airborne stimulant?”
“Just the second floor,” Indigo corrected with a grimace, but she released the vice grip on his shirt collar. “I managed to convince Juyeon that it was someone's dropped perfume bottle, but I left him with Lee Minho on the porch to clear his airways.”
Changmin's head swam. Lee Minho—black cat spirit—okay, then Juyeon was fine. He dragged his hands through his hair with a groan. “Hell, if I had known, I wouldn't have turned away from her like that. Sorry, Indigo.”
“No, no, it's my fault for letting her come at all,” she dismissed with an anxious flick of her wrist, then flexed her fingers to crack her knuckles. “She's been acting strangely for the past few days and I should have taken it more seriously, but I thought it was because she needed to relax a bit.”
He exhaled through his nose and braced his hands onto his waist. “Yeah, she's got a loose mouth though, that's for sure.”
“Good goddess, what'd she say?”
“Let's just say that Hyunjae could've found out who I am.”
Indigo's face ashened to a horrified shade. “Shit. I'm so sorry about her. This is turning out to be more and more of a disaster.”
You can say that again, Changmin thought, but he wasn’t about to put the blame on Indigo for something that was her coven sister’s doing. Though, he couldn’t imagine what manner of thought convinced Leona to release such a strong, and potentially dangerous, potion into a house full of young adults. It didn’t matter that some were horny or hammered—all that mattered was that there would be consequences to this, and it wouldn’t even be their faults.
Indigo recruited his help to locate the runaway witch and Changmin was swift to agree. There were only so many places in this house that Leona could have run off to, but the problem was the amount of people here.
As he and Indigo hunted, he couldn’t help but linger upon the effects of empitachynsia synthios that he was aware about—its presence in the air must have been the reason for his own unrestrained thoughts earlier, both in regards to you and Leona. He convinced himself that that was the reason, not the bond or any feelings of his, but the artificial intensification of whatever miniscule feelings that lingered. The potion could not work from nothing—that wasn’t how magic worked—but he could stomach confessing to a little bit of the feelings from earlier.
This, however, should have not been his main concern. If he had even gotten a little bit of the potion in his system, then what about you? Were you feeling alright? Were Hyunjae and Shuhua unaffected? Hyunjae hadn’t acted differently from his usual self; he hadn’t had much to drink either—that applied to you, too.
Changmin could only come to a shaky conclusion that even if all of you had inhaled a drop of empitachynsia synthios, the dose was not strong enough to have any noticeable effect on your emotions.
It was some divine fortune or providence that, not even ten minutes later, Indigo reported that one of her friends had gotten a hold of Leona in one of the rooms upstairs. With all of the panic that had plagued the two of them, Changmin and Indigo agreed to take their separate ways for the night and to be grateful for a swiftly concluded catastrophe.
The remaining adrenaline left in his system fueled him in his search for you and Hyunjae, wherever the two of you had ended up. The bond had squeezed his chest cavity all throughout the past ten minutes when he was away. His senses led him toward the kitchen, whose crowd was hardly any better than out in the living room. He couldn’t quite differentiate the pounding of blood in his ears from the heavy bass in the house speakers; he could hardly hear himself think. But his eyes found yours and Hyunjae’s forms squished together in one corner of the kitchen, and there was no need for him to think anymore.
Hyunjae noticed Changmin first and tore his attention away from his phone where both you and he had been hunched over watching clips of cats on Instagram. “Hey, done so soon?” he posed the question with a teasing lilt in his voice.
The teasing, though no fault of Hyunjae’s, made Changmin’s eye twitch. Even the suspicion that Changmin was interested in Leona left him with a sour tongue and clenched throat. “Indigo came by,” he said with little inflection to signal the end to that conversation. He inclined his chin to you, who had yet to raise your head. “Oy, Y—”
Your head lolled slightly onto Hyunjae’s conveniently-located shoulder, and the shift in angle revealed to your two friends that you had, in fact, fallen asleep.
Changmin and Hyunjae shared a fond laugh between themselves, glancing at one another in silent agreement. The former quickly pulled out his phone to snap a picture of you unawares, saving it to the group photo album of drunk mishaps.
“How much did she drink?” Changmin lowered his voice, even if the music didn’t give a shit whether you were asleep or not.
Hyunjae screwed up his face into something like unserious exasperation. “I dunno what she was thinking, man. We were talking and she drank waaay too much of the flavored soju. You know how that stuff tastes and goes down like juice.”
Changmin bobbed his hand knowingly. “I think I’m done for the night, to be honest,” he sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “I can take Yn home. Have you seen Shuhua around?”
“Just a few minutes ago.” Hyunjae slipped his phone into his pocket and carefully swapped places with Changmin. “She came by with Yuqi to get refills of some cocktail and said that a few of them were playing Speed downstairs. I’ll probably go join them. Have you seen Juyeon?”
The weight of your head settled comfortably into the crook of Changmin’s shoulder, and he couldn’t help but gently ghost his fingers over your nose to brush the hair out of your eyes. “Huh? Oh yeah, he’s with Indigo and Lee Minho.”
Hyunjae stared between you and Changmin for a pregnant second, but nodded afterward. “Got it. Well, get home safe, man.”
Changmin clasped his free hand with Hyunjae’s. “Same to you.”
When it was only you and Changmin, your living and breathing pillow considered his current position. He did intend on escorting you home—you grew drowsy when you drank a little too much, and as Hyunjae asserted, it was the flavored soju’s fault; but he was loath to wake you from such a peaceful-looking nap. He twisted his head in a way to peer down at your face, your cheek squished against the muscle of his shoulder and your lip gloss leaving a shiny smudge on his shirt sleeve.
He exhaled a careful breath, then gently gave your shoulder a shake. “Rise ‘n’ shine,” he sang. The grin on his face was remarkably large and unsuppressable as you stirred with a small whine.
“There’s a new picture in the drunk folder, isn’t there?” You glowered while lifting your head up and blinking to adjust your vision. You squinted your eyes at him. “You’re not Hyunjae.”
“Is that so disappointing?” He hoped his voice didn’t betray the miniscule shard of bitterness that just pricked his chest. He reached over and helped you with an errant strand of hair; there was no need for him to sulk when he was the one with you now. (Hell, did he think like this all the time or was the potion still in his system?)
You still couldn’t open your eyes much and you yawned. “No, of course not. What time is it?”
“It’s nearly half past midnight.”
“Not bad,” you said. You yawned again, gingerly dabbing at the corners of your eyes when they began to mist. “I think I drank more than I planned to.”
Changmin chuckled, “Yeah, I figured. C’mon—I’ll take you home.”
The pair of you departed out through a side door in the kitchen, a rather convenient exit that helped you evade wading through the living room crowd to get to the front door. The alleyway on the side of the house was illuminated only by a single light above the kitchen door to accompany the trash bins.
You stumbled alongside Changmin with your wits not having returned yet.
His hand bumped against yours. “Can you walk?” he laughed, glancing over at you.
“If I said no, would you carry me?”
Perchance his pulse jumped. “Sure.”
There was nothing, to him in that moment, more lovely than the way you lit up like the fucking sun. Even the shadows in the alley washed away briefly in awe of your elation—an elation he elicited. “Really?”
His cheeks dimpled and a laugh, breathy but giddy, tumbled out of his mouth. “Yeah. Hop on.”
Thus, Changmin found himself strolling along a deserted sidewalk with your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms draped loosely over his shoulders. You had your head tucked into the warmth of his neck as you focused on trying to arrange an Uber to come pick the two of you up at the nearest 7-Eleven; Changmin fought every instinct in him to be still, including his heartbeat. There would be no hiding, even if you were drunk and less observant. Something about your weight on his back eased the ache in his chest at the front.
The night had a bearable chill to it. He rather enjoyed the silence encapsulating you and him, and the shadows clinging to his heels as if they were his guardian. Every so often, he would step into the glow of an amber circle of light and watch your entwined silhouettes cascade across the sidewalk.
“How’s the Uber situation coming along, sweetheart?”
He held his breath until you answered. “Almost,” you murmured in a small voice, focused. The white light of your phone screen streamed up the underside of his jawline from where you held it and also clung to him. “Done!”
He smiled and refrained from turning his head; that would be a dangerous thing to do with your mouth quite literally against his throat. “Good job. When will they be there?”
“I scheduled it for 1:30,” you replied matter-of-factly. You turned your phone off to ease the light shining up into his face, and settled your head against his shoulder in a more comfortable position. “Minnie?”
Ba-bump. “Yeah, Yn.”
“I remember why I drank more than I intended to earlier.” At his quiet prompting, you continued, “Hyunjae was asking about you. It was… he was kind of skirting around it, but he was kind of saying that we’ve been acting weird lately. He mentioned something about you and Leona—I think he saw that she mouthed the word ‘demon’ to you. So I got a little worried and thought if I got a bit tipsy, he’d change the subject.”
Changmin’s steps faltered, but he recovered neatly. A lump seemed to have lodged itself in his throat and it was no longer because he could feel your breath against his pulse. “Is that right,” he muttered, clearing his throat uncomfortably. He had been so careful, too, and all it took was one, little word to shatter his efforts. “Thanks for getting drunk then,” he jested in an effort to lighten his own mood.
“Maybe he doesn’t actually know,” you said to him quietly. “It took you at least two tries to get me to believe you, and Hyunjae’s more of a skeptic than I am.”
But Changmin simply couldn’t be too sure. Of course, what you said held ground, but paranoia was often a pebble in his shoe. “Don’t… don’t worry too much about it, okay? I’ll figure it out as we go.”
“I’m here for you, too.” You lifted one of your hands to give his head a pat. “Well, I’ve always been here for you, but now that I know your secret, you don’t have to hold onto it alone.”
He couldn’t fathom how mere words could warm him from the inside out as if you had taken a handful of whatever sunshine you radiated and placed it in his core. When you had asked him that day why supernaturals were forced to hide their identities from humans, he didn’t linger on the idea of his words sticking with you. He supposed he had underestimated you in that way—you were his friend, and you cared about him as much as he cared about you. Of course you would take those words to heart.
And perhaps that was what eased his anxieties about Hyunjae for the time being. He and Hyunjae were as good of friends as you and him; giving him the benefit of the doubt was what felt right.
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
You hummed. “I’ll protect you, Minnie. Hyunjae—well, I guess it should be Leona, huh? Leona can catch my hands.”
Changmin’s joyful laugh echoed against the nearby houses. “Oh, you’re too cute.”
He felt your sigh even more than he heard it. “You’re always laughing at me,” you sulked. “I’m trying to be sincere here. Hey, that rhymed.”
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” He was not super sorry; the grin wouldn't leave his face. “Thank you, Yn. Really.”
By the time you and Changmin raided the 7-Eleven, caught your Uber, and returned to your apartment complex, it was swiftly approaching two in the morning. Your knees no longer wobbled like those of a newborn giraffe, so you walked beside Changmin to your apartment unit. The hallway, alight with its typical blinding fluorescents, was appropriately deserted and effectively made even the smallest of whispers ricochet like the acoustics in an arena.
Changmin had walked this path to your apartment door dozens upon dozens of times before, and though the scenery and the smell hadn’t changed a bit, the feeling that nestled itself into the very fibers of his being had. The ache in his chest, the inconsistent thrumming of his heartbeat, and his headspace had all changed.
Your keys rattled with a tinny sound as you isolated your apartment key from the others. You shoved the carved metal inside the locking mechanism, then sent him a sidelong glance. “Wanna come in for a bit?”
His mouth went dry and it was difficult to pull his lips into the shape of the words that he didn’t want to say. “You should sleep. We should both get some sleep.”
He liked to think he imagined the slow blink of your eyes and the way your eyelashes brushed over the fleeting disappointment in them. “You’re right,” you sighed good-naturedly. You tucked your bottom lip between your teeth as a thought occurred to you. “I do have to be up in a few hours; I almost forgot.”
“Why’s that?” he chuckled, and the image of your feet propped up on your desk as you finished a last minute reading for one of your classes painted itself in his mind’s eye.
“Ah, uhm, Chan’s driving me up to see my parents and his sister.” As soon as the words left your mouth, you wished you could reel them back into your throat.
Changmin’s expression shuddered as the carefully constructed bubble that had formed around his reality tonight burst. The brightness of the hallway lights were suddenly stifling, and he feared what exactly lurked behind its artifice. It reminded him so starkly of your childhood friend—the cordial and warmth he put on as a show a stark contrast to a foreign murkiness that lurked below the surface of the water. There were only so many ways to make Ji Changmin squirm.
He managed a smile to reassure you. You didn’t have to censor yourself on his account, and he wished to know how you filled your days anyway. “Oh, that’s cool of him. Hope you guys have a nice trip home tomorrow,” he said, then brought his arm around your shoulders to bring you into a partial hug before he could talk himself out of it.
You reciprocated the action, but with both of your arms, slotting your bodies against one another so you were two hearts and one body for a second. “Thanks,” you murmured into his shirt. “And thanks for taking care of me. I should be the one taking care of you.”
Changmin pressed his cheek to the side of your head, his arms locking around your waist. The hidden implications behind your words weren’t lost on him, which was why he had told you that he would be good about the soul-bonding thing; about taking care of himself, so that you weren’t forced to in the name of your own privacy and safety.
He was the hazard out of the two of you, after all.
“You do,” he assured you. “You do take care of me.” By continuing to be normal with him, by continuing to treat him as you had always done, he could rest easy at night knowing that he still had a place in your life despite being who he was.
Love was felt in his chest where you belonged—you had made the bones of his ribcage your home, kept his lungs from collapsing, and rested your head against his heart at night. The bond had inadvertently made him two halves of a whole, and he could no longer bear to be without the other half.
Tumblr media
There was too much negative space, you thought, as you laid in bed that night (morning). The ceiling was a rather interesting thing to look at with its imperfect, popcorned edges and the dark masses lying in the bottom of the lights, the dead carcasses of foolish insects who couldn’t help themselves.
In particular, there was a distinct lack of someone else. It was strange how fast another’s presence could grow on you, but how could that be when the two of you had already been friends for a couple years? When had spending time with Changmin become essential to easing an unseen ache in your chest?
When you were in the 7-Eleven earlier tonight, Changmin had filled you in on what had really happened at the house party. The idea of a witch being in your midst, releasing a perfumed potion that could escalate someone’s emotions was a frightening prospect. How many other times had you been in similar situations and none the wiser?
And if that potion had worked its way into your system or Hyunjae’s or Juyeon’s or Shuhua’s, then how did it affect Changmin?
A mental image flashed in your head. The first time one possessed another’s body would almost always feel akin to a dream. You were looking at yourself from an outside perspective at the party, your head tucked toward your chest as you slouched over Hyunjae’s shoulder. The body you were seeing through had laughed with him—subconsciously, you knew, exactly which laugh belonged to whom. But when he had pulled out his phone to snap a picture, that was the moment it came together.
When you woke up on Changmin’s shoulder at the party, you couldn’t be too sure that it was a dream; it had felt too real. Your physical body had yanked your astral form back into its vessel right before your eyes opened.
You lifted your hand up to your face in the dark and graced your fingers over the path Changmin’s had when he brushed the hair out of your sleeping face.
That same hand fell onto your sternum, the hard bone at the very center where you imagined your soul to rest deep within. You wished you could wrap your hand around the line that connected you to him, because then, maybe you could cling to it… and maybe it would make more sense as to how your mind ended up in his body tonight.
Tumblr media
PART V: THE DIABOLICAL
TRUTHFULLY, 8AM was too early to be pondering moral dilemmas. Options as to how you would tell Changmin about your out-of-body experience flipped through your mind like a deck of flashcards. You were a hypocrite. You were a massive, clown-faced hypocrite whose thumbs hovered over her keyboard as you debated on how best to start the text message:
Option 1: Heeeey, you know how I gave you shit about possessing my body without permission? Well… we're even now.
Option 2: Guess what lol I might be going insane but I might have had a dream that wasn't a dream about possessing your body.
Or, last and certainly least, option 3: I'm pretty sure I'm interpreting your gestures wrong because I have feelings for you. Also, did I mention that I possessed you during my nap last night?
When you were drunk last night, you couldn't be so certain. (Saying this was if sleeping for less than three hours would've helped clarify your memory any better. Drunkenness and sleep deprivation were more alike as states of brain rot than one might think.) Nonetheless, you determined that you were in the wrong—not because you possessed him; that was an accident. You were in the wrong because you had contemplated murder for Changmin doing the same thing to you.
The question was: how? How were you able to take your soul and jump physical bodies? Changmin said this bond was largely for the benefit of the demon, but he also mentioned that the only reason his experience occurred was because he was exhausted.
If control was the baseline of demonic magic, and Changmin was under the influence of a powerful emotional stimulant, would that justify how you were able to pull it off?
(And if he really was under the influence, did that mean you were getting your hopes up about your feelings being reciprocated? Option 3 was looking less and less attractive.)
You chewed on your bottom lip meditatively as the driver's side door opened to your left.
Chan sighed as he dragged his seatbelt over his chest. “I can't believe I forgot to get gas last night,” he said, cranking the engine. “I could've sworn I did.”
“Maybe you just imagined it,” you teased quietly. When you peered over at him, you couldn't help the frown tugging down at the corners of your lips.
The eye bags and puffiness weren't exactly subtle on him. You could acknowledge that it was rather early for both of you to be up and at 'em, but it was essential to hit the road early since the drive was almost three hours.
Chan gave his head a rough shake in the same manner as a wet dog would. “Guess so,” he said before a yawn cut him off.
“Are you sure you're okay to drive?” You plucked one of the paper cups in the cupholders and handed it to him.
He gratefully accepted the cheap gas station coffee and took slow, measured gulps of the scalding liquid. “I think I should be fine. You should rest; you didn't get a lot of sleep last night, right?”
As he began pulling the car out of the quaint lights of the gas station proper, you adjusted your sitting position. “Chan,” you mused, “you look worse than I do right now. Were you up late last night, too?”
“Maybe a little later than usual… I was just—y’know, preparing some things for today.” He nudged his blinker on and craned his neck to check for oncoming traffic. When it was safe, he pulled out onto the road.
At this point in the morning, there weren't many cars accompanying the two of you on your journey north. The sky was a blanched blue further enfeebled by the pale autumn sunshine. You would instinctively settle in to watch the passing scenery—mountain ranges, pastures, and the like—but you continued to keep one eye on your driver this time around.
“Preparing things,” you repeated softly, turning your phone off having long given up on deciding on a text message to Changmin. “Are you—are you okay? Is everything okay?”
He liked to fuss over you, but you weren't ignorant to his own struggle. Chan was the one who faced adversity, not you—at least, in your mind. Sure, you faced your own troubles, but it hurt you to see him hurt. The two of you hadn't been as close recently, which was no fault of yours or his; people drifted apart sometimes. That was the way of life, but it didn't mean your care for the other waned even the slightest.
Chan physically loosened up his tense muscles. “Yeah, of course. I promise that I'm fine.”
Your eyes shot wide open as they tracked a trickle of something dark and viscous seeping down from his nose and into the cradle of his Cupid's bow. “Oh my god.”
Your friend's eyes flitted off the road for a second. “What?” He brought a hand up to his mouth and pulled it away. “Shit,” he muttered and gritted his teeth. The blood had dribbled into his mouth now to stain the white of his smile a gory crimson.
“I think you need to pull over,” you fretted as you tore through the center console for tissues.
Chan clutched the ball of tissues in one hand and held it up to his nose. “I'm fine, Yn—”
“Pull over. Now.” There was enough force behind your voice to make him twitch, but you suspected that the slight tremor wasn't unnoticeable either. Just how much had he been overexerting himself lately? “I'm driving.”
He didn't have a choice. Defeat clung to the tails of his exhaustion, digging the grooves of his eye bags deeper. Chan didn't argue as he pulled off to the side of the road.
You didn't have to pretend to be even a little angry—you were frustrated, yes, but only because he was clearly not in the state to drive for three hours. It was irresponsible and stupid, you wanted to say to him.
But after swapping seats and glancing over at him in the passenger seat, you opened your mouth with no voice to use. Chan couldn't meet your eyes as he kept the bloody wad of tissue to his nose. You didn't have the heart to reprimand him, and he sure as Hell didn't need that from you.
You reined in your concern and resumed the drive.
Tumblr media
Changmin wondered if texting you was too desperate. Before one judged him too harshly, there once was a time when he didn't think about interactions like this as if they were rocket science. There was a time when he could text you with ease and without stress.
That was no longer the case.
“Please tell me you didn't spend the entire morning on your phone. That's a horrible example for the kids, you know.”
Changmin had known Aunt Jenna and her husband Kian were outside the door before they could pull out their house keys. His two cousins, who were reading and napping, respectively, on the rug scrambled to their feet with screeches of welcome to their parents. Changmin pretended their pitch didn't nearly destroy his eardrums. “No,” he protested, “we finished their homework really fast, so we were just chilling.”
“Yeah, eomma. We were just chilling!” parroted the youngest of the two—Dae—as he clung to his father's arm like a jungle gym.
Kian gave a laugh as he waddled into the kitchen with his hands full of groceries and a kid. The second child, Julia, wrapped around her limbs around his ankle; hence the waddling.
“Just chilling,” Jenna deadpanned, unimpressed. She swiped the bags from Kian and set them on the kitchen counter, peering over at her nephew. “Well, were they good?”
Changmin dimpled, nodding. “Yup. I think they deserve ice cream.”
“Oppa gave permission!” Julia hooted.
“I've got it,” Kian mused, squeezing past his wife in the narrow kitchen space. “Kids, go grab your jackets and we'll go down to the store.” He glanced between Jenna and Changmin. “We'll give you two some space.”
As soon as the front door slammed shut and the sounds of eager children disappeared down the hall, Jenna joined Changmin in the living room. Today was the day Changmin promised his aunt he would watch her kids. Rather than being out the entire day, Jenna and Kian promised to be back once they'd completed their long list of errands. Changmin didn't mind watching his cousins for the past few hours; they were, over all, decently well-behaved. (Plus, it was easy to bribe them with the promise of ice cream for good behavior.)
Jenna hiked up one leg beneath her as she claimed the opposite end of the couch from him. “How are you? Has it fully faded?”
Ah, there was no beating around the bush then. He sucked in a breath, but nodded. “I'm pretty sure, yeah. I haven't felt anything for at least a week.” It was strange to go from a period of sporadic headaches to none at all. It was like waiting for a dormant volcano to suddenly awaken; would the curse strike again and how soon?
How did he even come to be cursed? Now that was the question of the hour.
“Good, good. I don't… I can't sense it from you anymore,” she said, nibbling on her fingernail. “You had me worried there, Changmin-ah. How's your friend? Her name's Yn, right?”
A smile crawled onto his face. “You and Mom are always so bad with names.”
“I got it right, though,” she pointed out, but didn't deny his accusation.
“Yeah, she's doing alright.” He licked his lips and became contemplative. At least, he was pretty sure you were doing alright. The memories of last night came rushing back at him in a dizzying whirlwind of laughter, thrills, and warmth; the undeniable wholeness in his chest, your lips at his pulse. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck. “I'm trying to focus my efforts on the curse situation now though,” he said after clearing his throat. “I think that should take priority.”
Jenna gave a grave nod. “I'm inclined to agree.”
“Right. I reached out to that one guy you told me about.”
“Oh, the prince? Did he answer?”
Changmin hummed an affirmative. “You said he's a… demon prince. What circle is he from and how the Hell was he let out?”
Out of all the years Changmin knew his Aunt Jenna, it never ceased to amaze him that she was friends with a duchess of Hell. She was more of a social butterfly than his mother, but the extrovert quality didn't necessarily grant one the keys to class mobility and intermingling. Demon pride ran as dense as concrete most of the time, so it was a wonder that Jenna kept in touch with her highborn friend even after moving to the human world.
Jenna squinted one eye. “Ah,” she drawled, “pretty sure he's only second prince. His older brother's inheriting the throne to the third circle.”
Damn. A prince to the third circle, huh? Changmin chewed his bottom lip and his knee began bouncing up and down fervently. He was aware that there were plenty of the supernatural among him on campus, but he didn't go out of his way to interact with them. There had been a party here and there, but he couldn't get away with too much since his closest friends were all human.
“Well,” he continued from earlier, “he replied to my text and agreed to meet with me.” The task had been surprisingly easy. He imagined demon princes, or demon mobility in general, to be unbearably arrogant with each boasting an ego the size of the moon; however, this prince didn't treat Changmin any differently than if he were a classmate with a mutual friend. It was… nerve-racking.
“That's great! The hard part is over.”
Changmin made a face. “I really don't think that was the hard part.”
She flicked her wrist flippantly. “Nonsense. He'll be just as anxious to uncover the culprit as you are.” Jenna cocked her head to the side in thought. “And, well, who knows? Maybe he knows how to break a soul-bond.”
Changmin cradled his hopes for this interaction close to his chest as the day went on. He was supposed to meet this guy in the early afternoon at one of the music studios by campus—apparently, he practically lived there. Word through the hellfire was essentially that this prince was barely seen at his apartment, in class, or outside for that matter.
Suffice to say that Changmin hadn't a fucking clue what he was walking into.
He chained up his bicycle just outside the studio building with his phone's GPS open in one hand and the other absentmindedly rubbing at his chest. (It had been tight all day; you must really be at home, hours away from where he was.)
He glanced up at the unassuming brownstone facade towering above him. This was supposedly the place. The numbers 1117 were tacked onto the side for the building's street address, and Changmin triple checked that it coincided with the address sent to him.
When he was satisfied, he strode over to the front door and let himself in.
The interior of the building was a labyrinth of its own with white plaster walls that looked the same down every corridor. The building designer had left a small mercy, however, in the form of a large directory in the lobby with arrows directing the weary wanderer down a certain path depending on their desired studio number.
Changmin located the number and followed the signs. Before long, he stood before a sleek, black door with A8 emblazoned on its surface. He inhaled deeply, then knocked.
A long moment passed.
Changmin drummed his fingers against the seam of his pants and glanced up and down the empty hallway. Did he get the wrong room?
As if the demon prince could hear his thoughts (Changmin wouldn't be surprised if he could), the door opened. A light brunet poked his head out into the hallway, his eyes large like a doe's and paired with a rather warm smile. “Ji Changmin, I presume?”
Changmin cleared his throat, awkwardly bending himself at the waist in a hasty bow. “Yep, that's me.”
“Not here, not here,” Prince Kim Hongjoong of the Third Circle hushed with a grimace. He flicked his hand in the air, widening the opening to flag him inside. “You really don't need to bow to me, man.”
Oh. There wasn't anything Changmin could think to say except to mutter out an apology under his breath. He ducked into the dimly lit studio, and Hongjoong shut the door behind him. The studio itself was larger than Changmin expected with a small couch shoved into a corner, an expansive mixing desk with a couple monitors, a mini fridge tucked beneath, and a recording booth that spanned the entire back half of the room.
A demon's vision, even a halfling's, didn't worsen or get better with more light, but Hongjoong still turned it up. “Sit, sit,” Hongjoong insisted, gesturing to the couch in the corner. He took his own perch upon the office chair by the mixing desk.
Changmin stiffly lowered himself onto the edge of the couch and placed his bag by his feet. He placed his hands on either of his knees. “Ah, thanks for seeing me on such short notice,” he said.
Hongjoong nodded. “Sure!” That smile was both beautiful and sharp; Changmin couldn't put his finger on it, but it was the epitome of demonic royalty. Hongjoong's expression sobered slightly. “But when you said something about the curse going around lately, I did think that it would be best to talk about it as soon as possible.”
“Right, same here. Were you inflicted by it at any point?” Changmin decided that Hongjoong didn't look any worse for wear, but not everything could simply be observed upon the surface.
“I was lucky,” he replied, shrugging. “Probably because I don't go out much, but I can't be too sure. What about you?”
Changmin dipped his head once. “My aunt says I was, and I had been feeling more exhausted than usual and had random headaches. It's faded by now—but that's because I'm half-blooded.”
Hongjoong nodded his head in understanding. “Okay, glad to hear you're not doing too bad now and the curse was able to fade for you” —he paused, massaging his jawline, before turning to his laptop on the mixing table— “that clears something up for me, at least. Here—I’ve been putting together a document with my findings.”
Changmin stood from his seat and leaned over the desk to see the screen. It seemed that despite Hongjoong's lack of touching grass, the prince did get down to business. He wondered if all princes of Hell were so attentive to their species’ needs; cynicism though told Changmin that they weren't.
“Basically, with your testimony, it seems that whatever curse was performed was intended to only affect those of demonic heritage.” Hongjoong scrolled down to one portion of the document to add in this new nuance. He then worked his way down to a section where there were three images pasted side by side on the screen. Changmin recognized that they were books, but he couldn't identify their titles or purposes. “Which then narrows the curse's point of origin.”
Two images were deleted. The one left was a tome fitted with a dark colored cover. Deep purple veins seemed to scar the black and its edges were torn and crumpled like decaying flesh. There were letters engraved into the front—Changmin squinted to read them: nem focta diabolica. It was an old dialect, more similar to Latin than the more modern dialects used in Hell.
“‘For diabolical deeds?’” he murmured. His eyebrows creased. “That's the Book of the Diabolical?”
Hongjoong hummed, “Yes. You've never seen it?”
“Not until now,” he said while shaking his head. A shiver rattled down his spine and he braced his hand on the desk by the laptop. The Book of the Diabolical was one of the several forbidden cursed magic tomes that existed throughout the realms. Each tome was stuffed full of curses written to specifically target a species. The often lethal effects and methods of use were why most originals were banned and locked away. “But you said that my testimonial is what confirms that this was only targeted toward demons. Could we not have assumed that based on reports of who have been affected?” The reports had only noted a pattern of demon victims. If anybody else was affected, word would have likely been spread.
“Yes and no,” the prince replied. “We can make a judgment call based on reports, but your experience specifically is what gives us cause. If your mild symptoms are due to your half non-demoness, then we can now conclude that the curse is only supposed to work on demons.”
Changmin straightened as his mind went to work, putting together the pieces. “So now we just need to find out who is in possession of the Book of the Diabolical.”
A solemn nod. “I thought it would be easier to track down, but there's been nothing through my contacts about recent acquisitions. We know there are copies of the book that exist, too. It's just… ah, frustrating.” Hongjoong combed a hand through his dirty blond strands, a muscle twitching in his jaw at the thought.
It must have been another layer of aggravating to be a prince and have no control over the situation. Changmin truly could only imagine. “Do we know exactly which spell was used? I know it's energy-stealing, but the nature of it could lead us toward an answer.”
Hongjoong leaned back into his chair as Changmin settled his back against the edge of the table. “I do,” the prince said. “I consulted my circle's chief authority on magic and she mentioned that it was a spell that took energy in order to transfer it to another living being. The spell is also able to locate demonic entities without knowing them personally, so any demons within a certain radius of the spell would be cursed.”
At his own utterance, Hongjoong lurched into an upright position. “So we need to determine where the curse was performed!”
Changmin jolted slightly at his sudden exclamation. “How do we do that? Is it like checking for radiation poisoning?”
“Kind of. We'd just need a sample to match.”
“I'd offer my blood, but I'm not sure how potent the magic is any—”
There weren't many ways to describe what happened simply because Changmin himself couldn't quite wrap his head around it.
One moment, he could breathe perfectly fine; the next, he'd doubled over, desperately clawing at his chest as every ounce of air left his body and refused to come back. Black spotted his vision, narrowing his sight into a tunnel as his knees slammed against the ground.
His blood thundered in his ears as the pain in his chest seized his body whole. Someone had taken a knife and carved their way down the center of his chest.
Then, as quickly as it'd come, it was gone.
Sweat dripped down the sides of his face as Changmin greedily inhaled air into his lungs. Hongjoong was right in front of him, his arm hoisting his body into an upright position. He was murmuring something, but the sound was muffled… little by little, the pain and the blood in his ears dwindled to nothing but a terrifying dream.
Changmin grabbed at his chest as if he could feel the strained pull deep down where soul lived—where you lived—
His eyes shot wide open. “Yn.” The stabbing sensation that pierced his chest now was no longer physical agony but pure, unbridled fear.
He fumbled around for his phone and Hongjoong grabbed it from where it had fallen onto the floor. Worry creased the prince's brows. “Are you okay, Changmin? Who's Yn?”
“My—my soul—” Changmin dialed your number, half blinded by the sweat and tears blurring his vision.
Hongjoong seemed to understand. “Something happened to her?”
“I don't—I don't know.” All he could think about was the fact that you were with Chan and that he was afraid.
Tumblr media
You and Chan arrived at your parents’ house just before the clock hit noon. Your childhood home was much like it was when you left and visited every break: half-dead azalea bushes and a rusted wind chime hanging over the porch; hallways and a stairway adorned with the occasional family picture and portrait from over the years; and the smell that clung to the walls, and when bottled up, would be called “home.” It had been where you and Chan spent so many of your formative years together running, playing, crying, and living.
Lunch was eaten at home, and while you stayed to help your parents out with a few errands, Chan went ahead to the nearby hospital to see his sister.
You followed behind him nearly an hour after he'd left, your stomach full and your hands buried beneath a basket of treats that your parents put together for Chaeyoung. Flowers had been considered, but then your dad reminded your mom that flowers could not be eaten, and that had marked the end of that conversation.
The room the nurse's station directed your toward was down a lengthy hall of clean white. You'd consumed media before—books, shows, movies—where a character had a distinct aversion to hospitals because it reminded them of a lost loved one or a moment of distinct pain and weakness. Whenever you passed by the open doors or closed curtains of these rooms, you couldn't help but wonder how many of these people thought the same.
At the end of the hall, you stopped before a closed door whose accompanying window was sealed off with closed blinds. You couldn't tell by squinting through the slits if Chan and Chaeyoung were inside, but there was a little whiteboard off to the side with “Lee Chaeyoung :)” written in dry erase marker.
You lifted your fist up to the door, gently knocking upon its surface. When there wasn't an answer, you took the gamble to let yourself in.
Either the hospital was generous this time, you thought to yourself, or Chaeyoung just got really lucky. The room was spacious for a single person, but there was only room for one bed. Shoving a second in here would have been cruel and unusual punishment. The television hoisted onto the opposite wall from the bed was playing an old episode of Friends at low volume, a comfortable white noise for the sleeping form tucked into bed.
You carefully tread over to the bedside where you saw Chan's backpack left on the chair. You set the basket as quietly as possible onto the nightstand, your eyes flickering over to Chaeyoung to ensure you didn't wake her.
Just as you were moving Chan's backpack off the chair, a book slipped out from the open zipper.
“Shit,” you whispered, barely catching it before it slapped against the linoleum. You'd seen a lot of books before, but this one… you peered at it with a small frown. It was incredibly worn at the edges and the cover design seemed to be something like human veins but in the color of a deep violet. There were words scrawled at the center, but you couldn't get a good look at them before you heard Chaeyoung stir from the bed next to you.
You shoved the book into Chan's bag and set the backpack down, simultaneously dropping your butt into the chair. “I woke you up, huh?” you winced.
Chaeyoung smiled sheepishly at you. Even with the nasal cannula and the formless hospital gown, she was beautiful. Though her skin was more blanched than usual, it didn't take away from the utter warmth she radiated in this sterile environment. In that way, she and her brother were so similar. “Hi, Yn-ie,” she mused. “And no, I was just pretending to be asleep.”
“Well, that's not very nice then. Were you planning to let me watch you sleep this whole time?” you teased back at her. Your lips pulled into a fond smile. “How are you feeling? Any better today, unnie?”
She lifted her hand up onto the railing of the bed and you gently clasped it with your own. Throughout the years, she had come to be almost like your own older sister figure, in a way. “I'm a little tired, but it doesn't hurt a lot, so don't worry. A little coughing here and there, but nothing a bit of water won't fix.”
You wished you could believe her.
“But enough about me. What's going on with you? Are you seeing anyone yet?”
You choked on your own breathing air, pulling a grin out of Chaeyoung. You had to let go of her hand in order to thump your own chest. “You sound like my mom,” you retorted as heat crawled up the back of your neck.
Chaeyoung made a movement akin to a shrug. “I'm bored; sue me… so are you?”
The silence in the room was enough to speak volumes. The way your mind immediately flashed to a particular demonic friend of yours made the tightness in your chest hum gladly. You rubbed the spot with the heel of your palm absentmindedly.
“Oh, well you have to tell me about them now,” Chaeyoung gushed, squeezing your hand. “You can't even deny it—your eyes just went so soft, Yn.”
You bit the inside of your cheek. How were you supposed to tell her that they were only feelings? The urge to tell her about the knot around your ribs was suddenly too great; it was like looking into Shuhua's eyes and denying everything to her. “He's,” you stammered, “we're friends.”
“That's usually how it begins,” she chimed in.
You fixed her with a look. “And he's…” How did one say “everything” without saying everything?
Chaeyoung grinned, knowingly. “I know you'll just deny it, but it's—” Her words broke off with a violent cough.
Your heart leapt into your throat as you scrambled off your chair to reach for the tissues on the nightstand. Her coughing fit raged on without a moment of mercy, not even to let her breathe air. Each one grated on you for your stupidity, for letting her waste her energy on coaxing an answer out of you.
She took the tissues gratefully, shoving them against her mouth as she hacked up globs of crimson red to stain the paper and sheets.
You began searching for water. Maybe medication. Anything that might soothe her for a second.
The door bursted open, and Chan and an older man with a white coat hurried into the room. You ducked out of the way as another nurse barreled in after them. The doctor and the nurse converged on Chaeyoung's bed and you held your hands close together by your chest as you stood next to Chan in the doorway.
“They heard her heart monitor skyrocket from the nurse's station,” Chan said quietly with his eyes on his sister's bed. His eye bags had not gotten better as the day dragged on, but you had been foolish to think for a second that this trip would make him feel any better. His hand gently warmed the place between your shoulder blades. “Come on. Let's give them the room.”
You and Chan ended up in the hallway just outside the door. Your back was pressed against the wall facing the window while Chan practically paced a hole into the floor.
Just a minute ago, he'd seemed almost resigned. But the energy around him had become frantic, frazzled. You grew wary and nervous simply by watching him, your fingers cracking knuckles and tugging at loose strands on your shirt sleeves.
He tore his hands through his hair for what felt like the fiftieth time, and you stepped forward. “Chan—Chan, please just sit down. You're going to tire yourself out like this.”
“Yn, I can't,” he said, and the tremble in his voice was unmistakable.
You grabbed his hands away from his head to force him to look at you, to stay still. “She's going to be okay.”
His eyes glittered with mourning. The jewels that welled up in his eyes poured down the slopes of his cheeks. “She's not,” he rasped, shaking his head. “They said she's getting worse and—and I—I don't know what to do anymore.”
There was a heavy pang in your chest, but you forced both you and Chan to the side of the hallway closer to some of the chairs left out. He balked, stopping in his tracks. “Yn, I don't know how to save her. I've tried everything.”
You squeezed his hands and your eyes began to sting. “I know you have,” you breathed out. “I know you have and I am so sorry.”
“I don't know, I don't know,” he sobbed. He hung his head. “It's my fault. I should've tried harder—I could've done better—”
“Chan,” you cut in, “why in the world would you blame yourself? You've done so much for her; Chaeyoung would never blame you for this, not ever.”
Chan lifted his head and you were so certain there was a glint of purple in his eyes, but there were so many tears it could've only been a trick of the light. “Can I ask you something?”
You nodded. “Anything.”
His fingers curled with yours and you believed that he was finally squeezing you back—that he was finally leaning on you. “Can you promise me that you're not chained to him?”
What?
You hardly registered what he just asked you when you keeled over. A searing pain ripped through your body and twisted around your sternum. It was as if someone had wrapped their hands around that central bone and was trying to tear it out of you. Your heart and lungs seized all at once—you couldn't breathe.
Oh my god—you couldn't—breathe—
Air rushed into your lungs all at once, and you found yourself grappling onto the sides of a chair. Chan was saying something to you—they were words, but words you couldn't hear correctly. …so sorry… can't… you… like me.
Your center of gravity tilted violently on its axis and leaned toward the ground. As blood pumped violently back into your skull, you could feel the cold embrace of unconsciousness pull you closer.
A pair of hands grasped yours again, and you felt something cool pressed into your hold. A cup? Water?
“Yn? Yn, can you hear me? I'm gonna call a doctor—”
“No, no,” you waved the comment away with a weak hand. Your vision gradually cleared along with the fog in your head. You groaned quietly, bringing the paper cup to your mouth and poured it down your throat. Your chest heaved with labored breaths and you slumped into the chair you were draped in. “I'm fine now.”
Chan's face was twisted into deep worry as he leaned over you. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Yn, I can't lose you, too. That looked and sounded awful. What even happened?”
You closed your eyes. “I… I'm not sure.” It was like that one time you had nausea while Changmin was possessing you. But that wasn't nausea; whatever the Hell that had been, it was closer to your heart being clawed out than a measly migraine. “Would you mind just, uhm, getting me more water, please?”
“Yeah, of course. I'll get you a proper bottle from the vending machine.”
“Thanks, Channie.” You blindly patted his hand, and heard the sound of his footsteps soften as he hurried away.
You brought your hand up to your chest and let the warmth of your palm soothe the ache that haunted you. What was all that? There was no way that could have been a heart attack. You hadn't felt it in the heart.
“Shit,” you huffed as your phone vibrated in your back pocket. With a slight grunt, you managed to maneuver your hand beneath your body to answer the call. “Hello?”
A heavy breath filled your ears. “Oh Hell… are you okay?”
Déjà vu, much? You pulled the phone away from your ear to see the caller ID. “Changmin? How did you” —the pieces clicked together in your mind and you straightened in your seat— “oh my god, you felt that?”
“Are you okay?” he repeated instead with more strength.
“Yes, yeah,” you exhaled. The pain was slowly receding to the edges of your memory and breathing gradually became nature again. “Did you feel it, too, then? Are you alright?” The though of him enduring that pain at the same time as you—your heart might as well have fallen straight into the pit of your stomach.
You definitely weren't mistaken when you heard a sniffle from that side. “I'm alright,” Changmin said softly. “I just—I needed to hear—I needed to make sure you were okay.”
A smile pulled so strongly at your mouth that the corners curled downwards. “Well I'm okay now. I promise.”
“When are you coming home? I… I need to see you.”
Your free arm wrapped around your stomach and wished it was his. Unconsciously, your eyes raised from the glossy floor to the presence coming back down the hall with a water bottle in his hand. (Was it survival instinct that had you looking at him in a light you never once considered before?) “Soon,” you promised with all the tenderness in the world. “Wait for me?”
“For however long I need to.”
Tumblr media
PART VI: THE CURSED
Nightfall swaddled the world in its embrace when Chan pulled his car into the parking lot at your apartment complex. The headlights sliced through like twin blades across the sidewalk to blind the bushes lining the building’s perimeter. Sleep hadn’t claimed you at any point during the drive back down to the university, and you could feel the dryness begin to sting at the corners of your eyes.
You grabbed your bag from between your legs as Chan let the engine thrum beneath you. “Thanks,” you said quietly.
“Yeah,” he muttered back, dragging a hand down his face.
The drive hadn’t been much better. If someone asked you to point to the exact moment you were aware of the rift between you and Chan, you wouldn’t be able to tell them. There was a cloud of uncertainty, dark and stormy, that now blocked the radiance you were used to.
You glanced out of the window with your palm ghosting over your chest and you locked eyes with a figure loitering by the entrance to your apartment complex. The jump in your heartbeat was confirmation enough of who it was.
Fingers grazed over your shoulder—you shifted away, something you had never done before. A meekness took over your counterpart’s face. “There’s nothing I could say, is there?”
“You’ve never brought this up to me before,” you countered. At some point between Chaeyoung’s hospital room and the apartment parking lot, you figured out what Chan had asked you and who he was referring to. ‘Chained’ was an interesting word choice; you foolishly decided not to dwindle on it too long while you were within five feet of him.
It was a lot to think about. The chasm that gradually stretched between you had never existed before, and it cracked through the bridge that was your history with him. Your immediate thought was that the bridge was worth saving, but whenever you leaned over to grab the flayed ends, there was something in the dark that snapped at your fingers.
“He’s… Yn, he’s not who you think he is.”
You shoved the car door open. “I’ll make that judgment for myself. Good night.” Without another word, you stole into the night and let the door’s slam echo in the quiet.
As you made your way across the sidewalk to Changmin, there was an undeniable skip in that reliable rhythm called a heartbeat. The more you closed the distance between you, the less your chest ached and tugged. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you registered the sound of tires dragging over gravel and lights fading away, but if it wasn’t in your direct view, you didn’t quite care.
Changmin didn’t look hurt, at least from the outside. His dimpled smile graced his features as he took a few steps to meet you.
“Hey—” Your mouth muffled against the fabric on his shoulder as his arms scooped around you and pulled your body flush against him. An emotion bubbled up in your chest, then your throat, as you relaxed into him. The ache was gone, but he was here. You slowly brought your arms up around his middle and allowed the unspeakable to simmer.
You heard a small sound by where his face was tucked into your neck, and when the realization hit you, you could only laugh. “Are you sniffing me?” you snickered.
“You smell nice,” he sulked.
You patted his back. “So not only are we leashed, but you have also adopted the characteristics of a dog—���
“I’m letting go now.”
“Noo, don’t let go. I’m sorry,” you said and locked your arms around him. You both knew he could break out of your hold at any point, but in your arms, he remained. “Are you okay? You wanted to see me right when I got back.”
A breath was released against your skin, and it was so similar to the brushes of wind that he demonstrated early on as a physical manifestation of his power. “I needed to see you,” he corrected. “I needed to see that you were okay.”
The top-left quadrant of your ribcage fluttered. “I… yeah that was scary, wasn’t it?” you whispered. The phantom pain ignited within your breast for a moment, and you screwed your eyes shut. How could a single touch cause such physical agony? You were careening toward the truth you had been avoiding for hours now. You were peering into a dark chasm with no end to the bottom, but the longer you delayed, the longer it would continue to instill that fear and anxiety within you.
You cupped the back of his head with your palm, brushing your thumb through the strands of hair. “We need to talk.”
He hummed. “We do.” Changmin straightened and while one of his arms lingered about the curve of your waist, the other lifted toward your face. Before he could touch you, he stopped himself and pulled the hand back down to his pocket. “Are you tired? We could talk about this tomorrow?”
The thought of tomorrow morning’s lecture, but leaving the seat beside Shuhua empty, made your stomach sink. Your nod was reluctant. “I guess so… thank you for coming though. It was sweet—good. It was really good to see you. I—”
That hand from just a moment ago reappeared to cup the underside of your jaw and drew you over to kiss you.
(Under oath, Changmin would have admitted that there was a part of him that had been craving to kiss you since that day in his apartment when he confessed that murder from your lips was damningly divine; but if you were to ask him now, he would have said he simply didn’t want to say good night yet.)
You weren’t out of your wits enough to be completely slow as to what was happening. His touch was hesitant and bereft of the full strength he wished to impart. The brush of his lips against yours was fleeting and he was pulling away all too soon.
Cheater. You grabbed a handful of his hoodie in your fist and yanked him back over to you. You’re not getting away with that.
He stumbled in surprise, slapping his palm against the wall over your head. That arm was looping back around you in an instant, and your chests pressed together as if connected by opposite poles of a magnet. He was better this time around—sloppier, more fervent. His fingers dug into the meat of your waist, his mouth bruising against yours.
You wondered if a few minutes spent devouring the air between each other was enough to carve the other’s name into your mouths permanently.
His mouth glistened in the low light when you pulled away to relieve your lungs. Changmin’s eyes were hooded, pupils dilated to the black of deep space: consuming, but wondrous. “Another thing to talk about tomorrow then?” he exhaled out against your skin.
You nodded—that was a given—and you watched his eyelashes flutter as he leaned in again. Something deeply satisfied purred in the recesses of your center, somewhere only one’s soul might dwell. (Love was felt in your chest where he belonged, after all.) You breathed him in as he kissed you once more. It wouldn’t matter if the invisible string that tethered you to him eventually faded because your souls were far too comfortable with each other to ever let go.
Tumblr media
The sun hung midway between the sky's precipice and the horizon, washing the world beneath it in a whimsical filter of gold. While Mondays were usually a lighter load for you, today happened to be the one you stacked all of your academic appointments onto. It wasn't until about three in the afternoon that you were able to see Changmin again.
You stepped out of your department advisor's building with your hand raised to shield your eyes. Waiting for you at the curbside and straddling his bicycle was the other half of your soul bond.
“You like guys with bikes?” Changmin grinned, half laughing as he nodded to you.
You threw your head back and couldn't fight the smile off your face. “You pick up all your girls like this?”
“That would be a yes, 'cause I only have one girl and I don't have a car.”
Your laugh bounced off the nearby walls and made Changmin's cheeks hurt from how wide he smiled. You made your way over to him, and he curled his hand around your waist, thumb rubbing into your hip bone. “Hi,” he mused.
“Hi.” Nothing had been said between the two of you since last night besides wishes of good sleep and to perhaps see one another in your dreams. (If dreams were considered a weakness to demons, it was safe to say that Changmin didn't give a damn.) You licked your lips. “So where do you wanna talk? Because we do have to talk about some things.”
“I know. Juyeon said he won't be home, so I thought we could go back and talk, and maybe… watch a movie, if that's cool.”
You snorted. “You kiss a guy once and he suddenly gets game.”
His eyebrows went sky high as he handed you his helmet to strap on. “Actually,” he scoffed, “we kissed at least f—”
“Ah!” You pressed your pointer finger to his lips, fixing him with a pointed look and ignoring the warmth in your cheeks. “That's semantics. Is this even safe, by the way?” you asked, gesturing to the back of his bike where he had a small rack installed over the back wheel.
“Yeah, you just need to hold on tight.”
You threw one leg over the middle and braced your feet over the two bars jutting out from either side of the back wheel. Your arms came around his nearly nonexistent waist, the side of your head resting against his backpack. “You just want me to hug you.”
Changmin laughed from the front. “You said it, not me!”
Who said sharing a bike was romantic? Certainly not you, but there was plenty of fluttering in your stomach that made you think otherwise. You didn't keep your face against him for long, and lifted it up to feel the wind across your cheeks and through your hair.
It was strange to think of him as a demon when you had known him longest as a good friend. There was nothing remotely unhuman about him, but what made someone a human? Was it physical traits or lack of magic ability? Was it the realm we hailed from or was it simply… prejudice and stereotype?
Whenever you thought back to that fateful night, you couldn't believe you'd harbored even an ounce of fear for him. A part of you thought he'd pulled all those stops to make you scared, but the other part knew that maybe they were necessary out of his own alarm.
When you arrived at his apartment complex, he locked up his bike in the room in the lobby. The two of you worked your way up to his floor, a light conversation bubbling between you about what movie you should watch after you filled each other in. Speaking about anything regarding the supernatural out in the open like this was not ideal.
“—it’s really not even that scary,” Changmin insisted as he fished around his bag for his keys.
You crossed your arms over your chest, unconvinced. “I know you've got a thing for Chucky, but—”
His mouth fell agape as he managed to grab his keys and shimmy open the lock on the door. “I do not have a thing for Chucky. That's just disgusting and perverted. I thought you were better than—oh. Shit.”
You were about to ask him what was wrong when you followed him in through the door. Seated on the couch was Juyeon, Shuhua, and Hyunjae, two of whom had their arms crossed and their faces fitted with matching masks of suspicion.
“Hi guys,” you greeted awkwardly and nudged the door closed. What were they talking about without you and Changmin?
“We’ve been expecting you—ow! We agreed that I was going to greet them,” Hyunjae hissed to Shuhua who had dealt a brutal blow to his ribs with her elbow. “Also, your elbow is so fucking bony—”
Shuhua harrumphed, sitting up straight with her chin inclined. “We’ve been expecting you. Juyeon purposely lied to Changmin so we could confront the two of you.”
You and Changmin exchanged nervous glances. Your counterpart then swiftly turned toward his roommate with an expression of betrayal. “You lied to me?”
Juyeon went doe-eyed. “I’m sorry, Changminnie—they made me!”
Hyunjae’s cough was annoyingly loud, and he thumped his fist against his palm like a gavel. What was this—court? “Ahem. We all agreed that we needed to catch you guys in the act and to hold an intervention. I tried” —he dragged out the word ‘tried’ as if he’d nearly died in the Sahara Desert while doing it— “to confront Yn about it at the house party, but then you went and got yourself drunk.”
Oh. You performed a mental rewind all the way back to last Saturday. Oh no.
You and Changmin gravitated toward one another’s side. “What exactly,” Changmin drawled with narrowed eyes, “are you holding an intervention about?”
“Guys, please. We’re not fucking stupid,” Shuhua huffed. “We know you’ve been sneaking around together. And whether you’re actually dating or just hooking up—”
You choked on your own spit.
“—we need to know if you’re committing friendcest.”
You had to hold back both a laugh and a tremendous sigh. This was about fuckass friendcest, not Changmin’s demonhood. You opened your mouth to relieve your friends of their concern when Changmin beat you to the punchline.
“We’re not sneaking around for that reason,” he said, his eyes flickering over to you. You felt the back of his hand graze yours, and you blinked at him. While it was true that the original reason you started sneaking around was not because of mutual attraction, there was a tablespoon of truth to that now. If last night hadn’t happened before this conversation, it would have been a lot harder for you to answer their questions, and if you had talked about the kiss before…
There was conflict across Changmin’s face as he warred with himself on how to properly put yours and his hunt into words that they would understand. There was undoubtedly a build-up of years’ worth of guilt mounting in him to put pressure on his reveal of the truth, but it was clear that he was still not ready for that conversation yet.
You stepped forward and grabbed his hand. “He’s lying. We have been dating,” you declared. It was an innocent white lie that was somewhat truthful. “We” —you cleared your throat as every pair of eyes darted over to you, including Changmin’s— “wanted to try it out. We only really have gone out a couple times though, and it hasn’t been long since it started. We’re sorry we hid it from you guys.”
Changmin’s eyes gleamed with gratitude as his fingers braided with yours and he cupped around your bound hands with his free one.
A beat of silence passed as the other half of your friend group exchanged glances with one another. Had they expected you to deny it?
At last, Shuhua broke out into an almost pouty smile. “I wish you guys didn’t hide it from us, but if you’re happy…”
“We hid it because we weren’t sure yet and didn’t want it to affect the group’s dynamics,” Changmin chimed in. He squeezed your hand at his side. “I mean, I’m happy.” He glanced over at you, cheeks dimpled. “You?”
You smiled back, nodding. “Very.”
Juyeon sniffled and clasped a palm over his mouth. “Ugh, this is so romantic. You guys look so happy together. I need to tell Eric and Indigo about this.”
“Man,” Hyunjae feigned exasperation, but even he couldn’t hide the large grin on his face, “I really thought this was gonna be more dramatic. Glad you guys really were just sneaking around and dating and stuff, and not like, hiding a body or anything.”
You and Changmin looked at each other again and produced similar sounds bordering on a suspicious level of nervousness. “Yeah… definitely nothing like that.”
The other three were, unfortunately, sharper than you liked to give them credit for. “Wait, what do you mean—”
“Bye now!” Changmin whisked you out of the apartment unit with a slam of the front door. Yours and his giggles wrapped around one another as you left, leaving your dumbfounded friends high and dry.
When you and Changmin had escaped to the end of the hallway by the stairs, you finally released the breath you had been holding. Keeping Changmin's secret was one thing, but lying to your friends was another. What you claimed back there wasn't a total lie, but in this case, perhaps ignorance was bliss. You didn't doubt your friends would be supportive of Changmin's heritage, but if it was something he wanted to continue to keep undisclosed, then that was his prerogative and it was not your truth to reveal.
Yours and Changmin's hands remained intertwined as you made your way back down to the lobby. Since his apartment was clearly occupied, you would need to find somewhere else to speak privately. The answer came in the form of a park nearby, who's trails and pathways were rather vacant at this time of day.
Changmin locked his bike and helmet up at the park's entrance before his hand found yours again. “We are dating now, right?”
You snorted. “That's the first thing on the agenda?”
“Well, yes,” he beamed boyishly at you, swinging your hands between your bodies. “Are you saying that what you told them back there was really a lie?”
“I mean, no,” you stammered. Heat prickled beneath the surface of your skin and you fought to avoid his direct gaze, so knowing. “We are dating, if you're okay with it.”
“Sure.”
“Sure?” you squawked. Such indignation in that pretty boy smile of his. Your expression flattened into a deadpan. “I suppose I do have something to confess before we put a label on it.”
Changmin smiled to himself. “This is the moment you tell me you're a serial killer, isn't it?”
“You're really sick in the head,” you joked back. “But no, I mean that… well—hear me out: that night at the party when I was asleep? I may or may not have possessed your body.”
Changmin halted so abruptly that you were almost yanked back into his body from your linked hands. “What?”
You squeaked out a nervous laugh. “It's not, y'know, that big of a deal. It was only for a few seconds, and it really could have just been déjà vu or something.”
“No. No, it makes sense.” He shook his head, then pressed the black of his knuckles to his pursed lips, eyebrows creased together in a pensive stare. “My mind wasn't the most stable, so I wouldn't have been able to stop you from coming across the soul bond. It's just an interesting notion to consider; I've never heard of a case like this before.”
“Ah.” You were glad he wasn't bringing up the utter irony of the situation. “Maybe you can ask Aunt Jenna, and I bet most demons don't regularly come across that potion very often.”
Changmin cocked his head to the side thoughtfully. “That's true. There is something that I've been meaning to tell you though. I don't know if you remember the random headaches I used to get” —you hummed your acknowledgement— “but it was apparently because I, and other demons in this area, were inflicted by a curse.”
Your face shuddered. A curse? How long had he been holding onto this?
His mouth set into a line. “I didn't want to worry you, but my being half human pretty much saved my life. It was… something from the Book of the Diabolical—a curse that stole energy from one being to transfer to another.”
The Book of the Diabolical rang a distant bell in your head. “That's really scary,” you murmured.
“I—I know,” he said, taking you by your arms, “but I'm working with another demon on campus to solve it. It shouldn't affect you at all because they've only been targeting demons, but—”
“That's incredibly worrying for you to say—”
He exhaled, “I know, I know. I can take care of myself though, especially now that I have this other demon to help.” Changmin's grip on your body tightened, but not to an uncomfortable degree. His possession of your gaze was even more secure; there was an urgency within him that compelled you. “I'm telling you this now because… because I can't stomach the thought of you getting hurt, and I need you to promise me to be careful.”
You brought your hand up to cover the back of one of his. “But you said this curse only affects demons,” you whispered.
“Yes, but” —he cut himself off, tearing his eyes away for a moment. He bit his lip nearly hard enough to draw blood. “I just have a very, very bad feeling about something.”
“Then tell me what it is,” you pushed. There was no way you could safeguard yourself if you didn't know what he was worried about.
Changmin considered you for a moment, then in a low voice, said, “It's about Lee Chan. I know you're friends with him, but I just can't put my finger on how he's connected to all of this.” Your eyes fell away from his, and his heart stuttered in his chest. His palm was gentle as he ran his thumb over your cheek. “Please. Please just be careful, sweetheart.” Please believe me.
At last, you nodded and slowly raised your head up to meet his eyes once more. “Okay,” you said, “I promise.”
There was a beat of hesitation in his heartbeat again—he couldn't bear to be without his other half.
Your conversation with Changmin was severed short when he received a call from his demonic friend—a Kim Hongjoong—about an update regarding the curse's residual essence. He biked you to your apartment complex first, walking you to your door. He left soon after, but not before bestowing a lingering kiss to your brow, the words between the stressed lines of his eyes imploring.
You promised to call him tonight, and you shouldered your way into your apartment. Your heart had not ceased to stop rattling in its confines since Changmin admitted his wariness about Chan. You didn't know why you didn't immediately agree with him then and tell him about your thoughts from the hospital day, but your thoughts whipped around in your mind, trapped in a violent rip current.
The reason you had looked away from him earlier was not because you doubted him, but because you feared those whispers of suspicion were quickly becoming your reality. It was a grave accusation to name Chan specifically, and to even suspect him having a hand in recent diabolical deeds, but you couldn't deny that your view of him was morphing into something else.
It wasn't right, you thought. Lee Chan was the sun—bright and warm. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Right?
You fumbled for the lights in your darkened apartment. It was strange that your roommates weren't home; usually they would have been. You suppressed a yawn as you failed to find the light switch for some reason. Had you been this tired all day? Your eyelids were growing heavier and heavier by the second…
“Shit,” you muttered as your foot hit something solid on the floor. Your fingers caught the switch and light flooded into the room.
A gasp tore out of your throat. By your foot laid the body of one of your roommates, her limbs splayed sporadically, but her chest still rising and falling with breath. (Asleep?) You lifted your head, and a dooming chill fell over you as you realized that the body on the couch was your second roommate; and there—the third's hand poked out from behind the kitchen counter.
There was another aspect to survival instinct. It launched into effect as soon as you spotted a figure emerge from your periphery.
You whipped around and reached for the door handle, but to no avail. A strong arm caged around your middle and slapped over your mouth. Whatever was on his hands—dry, chalky—dragged a cough from your throat. Though your heart pounded in merciless rhythm, it seemed only to work to your detriment.
“Can't let you do that,” said the voice behind you, gruffly. It was familiar.
The world grew darker… dimmer… your body's thrashing slowed. You screamed and attempted to flail around, desperate to get free. Why the Hell was your body getting weaker? Why—why were you tired—
Just before you surrendered to unconsciousness, the epiphany slammed into you like a truck. The worst part was it was way too fucking late.
Tumblr media
If desperate people found faith, then Lee Chan was admittedly the most desperate of them all. Most people—humans, it should be clarified—found faith with the established religions of the world. There were truly far too many to count, but desperate and depressed ten year old boys were more resourceful than others gave them credit for.
The problem was that Chan was a creature made whole by the love imparted onto him by you and his older sister, as well as the neglect and hatred sown by his parents. It made for a dynamic persona—a soul torn asunder by the people he yearned for most. He wished his parents could have cared more, then perhaps he wouldn't have cared so much.
(Though, if they had cared even an inch more than they had, he wouldn't have traded their lives for Chaeyoung's in the first place… maybe he would have still done it, but he might have regretted it, at least.)
Wasn't there a definable point when a hero became a villain? No, he didn't like thinking of himself in those terms. “Protagonist” and “antagonist” were far too restricting. It was similar to the stigma surrounding the forbidden tome of curses in his possession; why was it forbidden if it was so very useful?
The only thing was that it lacked the spell he seemed to need most right now: a spell to convince you of the pure evil you had bound your soul to. Whether it was inadvertent or purposeful, Chan would do you a favor: by severing the demonic soul bond, he could save you—his beloved little sister. He could save you and protect you from an ill-begotten fate.
But even as he settled your unconscious body over the summoning circle sketched in confident, chalk strokes, he racked his brain for any possible reason why you were bound. To what end was your bargain with Changmin? Were you so desperate as to strike a doomed deal with a half-demon? He considered your face with a frown; even in sleep, your browser were furrowed with stress. He needed to get a move on.
The Book of the Diabolical laid open atop your desk where he had pushed it into the corner. The entirety of your room was rearranged in order to give him a wide berth to work—bed shoved to the far reaches, drawers and file boxes relegated to the closet. The middle of the room featured your body over his summoning circle, rounded out with burned phlox candles who's scent suffocated the room in its bitterness.
Chan hunched over the book and consulted the line of curse he had tabbed with a sea otter sticky note. Over the past several years of his life, he dedicated himself to learning how to decode the old dialect of this tome in order to use it to its full reaches. “Asmantha's star for summoning, check. Burned phlox, mhm. Conscious blood of the victim…” his voice trailed off as he caught miniscule movement from the corner of his eye. “You're awake already? What a weak spell.”
Your body stilled. “Chan…?”
“Just another minute,” he promised and reached into his backpack down by his feet. He withdrew a slim paring knife he had brought with him from his apartment. “This'll all be over soon.”
His eyes scanned over the lines of directions. Without looking back at you, he said, “I also wouldn't do that if I were you.”
You froze with your fingertips centimeters away from the edge of the summoning circle. If your nail had so much as crossed the line, your body would have been rendered paralyzed. It wasn't a pleasant feeling—Chan knew from experience—but it was a necessary evil.
“What are you doing to me? What is all this?” you queried, your voice as small as a mouse's.
He could feel your eyes go to the paring knife in his grip, and the thought occurred to him that it was troubling you. Chan turned around then with a reassuring smile, only to be met by your eyes, so round with fear. Oh. “Yn, this is for your own good,” he crooned sweetly with all the boyishness that you were used to. “I'm just doing you a favor. I know demon bonds are really hard to get rid of. They're nasty things, but I have a way to do it with minimal damage.”
You eyed him warily from your side of the line. “You mean a soul bond?”
Chan barked out a laugh. “Is that what he called it? Fucking disgusting,” he spat. Every molecule in his body boiled with anger—for you, of course. How dare Changmin fool you into some romantic vision of such a treacherous, vile thing? “I don't expect you to understand right now, especially if he's gotten into your head, but I'm going to help you.”
“Help me? I don't need any help—”
“You’ll thank me later,” he interjected with a click of his tongue. He nodded his head toward you. “Now hold out your hand. I just need a little bit of blood, and we'll be done.”
You scrambled backward on your hands. “What? No.”
Annoyance twitched in his jaw, but his chest twisted with something heavier. You were so far gone… if he didn't act now, it would be too late. “I'll come in there myself if I have to,” he replied and rose to his feet.
Wild, unbridled fear flashed across your face as your head swiveled around. You were trapped between a knife and the circle bounds, prey meeting predator.
Chan stepped into the summoning circle, brimming with determination. The spell's incantation swam fresh in the forefront of his mind, locked and loaded upon his tongue for the proper moment. His thumb ran over the flat side of the blade and he stalked over the chalk markings. “I only need a little,” he reassured you.
“Don't do this,” you sputtered, “please! You don't have to break the bond.”
Your words only spurred him on. Chan lunged for your ankle, and you rolled out of the way, the crown of your head narrowly missing the edge of the circle. It was to your slight advantage that he had drawn the thing so fucking large, but it only gave the lion more room to play with his food.
Rich purple fractured across his irises and you could no longer dismiss it as just a trick of the light. Stupid. You had been so fucking stupid.
He pounced again. The breath flew out of your lungs as you hit the ground, your hand grasping his knife wrist where it was poised above your cheek. Your entire body shook as you held him back. “Stop,” you cried. “Why are you doing this? Chan, we're friends.”
“That's exactly why,” he grunted and used his body weight and gravity to inch the blade down further.
Pure adrenaline was all that kept your limbs from failing. Sweat collected between the grooves of your palms and fingers, your heart racing at two hundred beats a second. Every ounce of energy went toward survival. “I don't” —you heaved at his wrist to get it to move away— “understand.”
Chan squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them. Tears had welled up in the linings, trickling down onto your face. Agony contorted his own, flushed, as he exerted every exhausted bone in his body. He'd used so much of his energy lately. “I can't have you end up like me,” he said through gritted teeth. “And if I can't save noona, I can still save you.”
He slammed the knife down.
Your head jerked out of the way, just as the tip of the blade crunched into the wood floor.
Before you could tumble out of the way, he snatched the front of your throat with his free hand and pinned you in place. Your hands whipped up to your neck, desperately clawing at his fingers and knuckles, your airways narrowing. Blood from his hand trickled down from your angry marks, a river of red flowing to stain your own skin.
“Please,” you choked out.
He didn't listen. You felt the bite of steel; blood, hot and thick, bubbled out of the cut and dripped down the side of your face onto the floor like a tear.
Chan kept his hand around your throat. His eyes, drowning in his own sorrow, never left your face. You once knew his eyes, but the purple that corrupted them struck you with fear. “Utimana catenia ab eterno effodiant sycut sol ad auroramae. Abi, daemon. Abi, daemon!”
You never thought you'd ever feel that same searing pain from the hospital ever again, but this was much worse. A guttural scream tore out of your throat with more wind than volume. Someone had dug their way into your body and was ripping their way out. They buried their fingernails and were shredding your muscle, cracking your bones apart, and they wouldn't stop until they saw the cold light of day.
The physical sensation—it was no clean slice. When a rope was pulled under strain, every fiber unwound until it snapped. You couldn't breathe. Every fiber of your being, physical and metaphysical, clung onto the soul on the other end of the line.
The rope splintered. Only then did you lay still.
Air once again flooded into your lungs, but your chest ached and ached and ached. Your throat burned from your crying. Your head hit the ground beneath you and you pawed at your sternum. The negative space was so damn loud. He wasn't there—he wasn't there—
“Yn?” A shaky voice, small and childlike. Chan's face appeared above in your line of sight with worry written stark over his face. “He's gone now.”
He's gone now. A cough boiled up in your throat, and you turned your head to hack up the residual blood. It was as if something truly had broken in your body. An entire piece of you was missing.
When you remained silent, Chan dragged himself up to his feet. “You’ll be grateful one day, you know? I'll clean this up and leave you be—”
You didn't have the heart or strength to lift your head, but you heard what happened next.
Chan's breath caught, followed by sounds of growling protest. There was a foreign voice or two over by the doorway. Take him to the Third Circle. We'll deal with him later.
The heart in your chest, its beats weak, stuttered into a pitiful skip as if it could sense the other half of it approaching. A face appeared in your view, his eyes wet and blood seeping from his nose. “Yn?” he rasped, wiping the blood with the back of his hand.
His blond hair hung in his eyes as you peered up at him. Your body relaxed in the presence of the one it yearned for most.
“I'm so sorry,” he said, his voice breaking, as he dipped his head to touch his forehead to yours. I'm so sorry I'm late, so sorry I let him hurt you. You could feel his body shake with silent cries. “I am so fucking sorry.”
“He said you were gone,” you managed to croak with your hoarse voice. Your nose and eyes stung with oncoming tears, and as soon as the dam broke, you could not reverse it.
“I'm right here,” he assured you. His arms wrapped around your body and pulled you up toward his chest.
“It hurts.” You pressed a hand to your chest where the gaping chasm now sat. You didn't know how deep your soul laid within, bruised and battered. “Are you okay?”
Changmin loosened a wet chuckle from his mouth, holding the side of your face tenderly. “I should be asking you that. I was so scared—Hell—” Loss was a unique feeling. It was strange because you were right here in his arms, but no amount of proximity soothed the visceral throbbing in his chest. He once was whole, one part loved and the other part loving. But what was done, was done: the goal you and Changmin originally had in mind was accomplished, but neither of you were sure that you wanted it anymore.
The two figures you didn't recognize approached the summoning circle. One was a boy who looked human enough, but with eyes that seemed too sharp. The other beside him was a woman with gray hair, styled to coiffed perfection as a bed for the pair of curled black horns jutting out from the crown of her head.
You struggled into an upright position and leaned back against Changmin. “And” —you cleared the congestion in your throat— “you are?”
“Kim Hongjoong,” said the former with a sad tilt to his smile. He gestured to the woman. “My colleague, Amari.”
“Prince of Hell and Magika Supreme,” Changmin muttered into your ear.
Your eyes went wide. “Should I bow?”
Hongjoong waved his hands in front of him. “No need. Are you feeling alright though? Soul bonds are… they aren't the easiest things to live without once you've had one.”
“You know what it feels like?”
“Definitely not,” he said sheepishly. “But I can guess. Changmin collapsed when he felt his end was devastated. I, uhm, imagine that your experience was similar.” The prince lowered himself into a crouch to be eye level with the two of you. “Your friend—the one who did this to you.”
Your throat squeezed tight with the phantom of his hand around it. “Chan?” you stammered. “What's happened to him?”
“We've taken him into custody,” the Magika Supreme replied with a low voice and perfect posture. “Did you know that he had a copy of the Book of the Diabolical?”
There was that title again. You shook your head, but pointed in the direction of your desk. “That thing? I didn't know what it was until now. He—he had it when I was at the hospital with him yesterday.”
“Do you know how long he's had it in his possession?”
You were about to answer, when Changmin cut in. “With all due respect,” he swallowed, “Yn deserves her rest, not an interrogation.”
Hongjoong exchanged glances with Amari, then nodded and rose to his feet. “Fair enough. We'll help you clean up and be on our way—”
“Wait.” You didn't expect them to listen to you. “I need to know what happened. I don't—I still don't understand.” When had everything gone wrong for your friend? In your mind's eye, you could picture the canyon that spanned yours and Chan's relationship, the tattered bridge hanging listlessly over the gorge. You could not banish his words from your head: I can't let you end up like me. And if I can't save noona, I can still save you.
Hongjoong pressed his lips together. “Your friend has been using that book of curses for a very long time to steal energy and transfer it to his sister. Recently, your Changmin and many others fell victim to one of them.”
Your hand fell over where Changmin's rested across your middle. Could he feel the guilt sloshing in the pit of your stomach like turbulent waves?
“We believe he targeted demons specifically because of a deal he made with a demon in his past.” A shadow fell over the prince's face, and you read the grave sadness embedded there. “He must have held a grudge against our kind since that rotten deal.”
It made sense. As much as it caused bile to creep up your throat, the pieces were slipping into place. The pure, venomous loathing he directed toward Changmin and the soul bond—if he had experienced a demonic bargain before, he would not only be aware of the existence of the supernatural, but the nature of such soul-binding deals.
Chan had done it for Chaeyoung—that conclusion wrung you through the deepest pits of Hell and destroyed you. He'd done it to save her life, but it hadn't been enough.
“What's going to happen to her?” The bloody tissues and crude scratches of her coughing crushed into your mind. “She didn't ask for any of this.” They said she's getting worse.
The Magika Supreme was the one who answered. “The energy Lee Chan stole and imbued her with was corrupted, which is unfortunately why Miss Lee's condition is worsening.”
An idea manifested in your head and you shifted to sit up out of Changmin's hold. “Then can you—”
“Yn,” Changmin lamented, predicting where your mind had wandered.
“—save her? Could you save her? Is there any way?” Someone titled with Magika Supreme must have the power or authority to achieve something like this. Chan's love for his sister fundamentally fueled all of his actions. Every malicious deed he pulled, every incantation he uttered, had been with the intent to save Chaeyoung from a fate she could not control. You wished his desperation hadn't shoved him over the edge; you wished he never had reason to get to such a point.
Amari paused, but not because she was uncertain of the possibility. She passed a glance to her prince, then to Changmin, before returning to you. “Of course, there is always a way, but it would require something in return.”
“Name it.”
Changmin grappled onto your arm. “Yn, you're walking into another soul bond. Please, just think about this first,” he implored, forcing you to look him in his wide eyes, dark and entreating.
It was reckless, you knew, but Chaeyoung was dying. Her brother tried all his life to lead her from a fate she couldn't control, but it only doomed her more. Were you simply continuing the cycle or could you do something good for her?
“The difference between your friend's magic—” you and Changmin's attention flitted over to Hongjoong, “—and the Magika Supreme's is that the latter won't be using corrupt magic to steal corrupted energy.” Hongjoong's smile was something warm and reassuring. What an effortless prince he made. “Whatever healing magic she'll use will work without crippling Chaeyoung's health more. Though, I can't promise about side effects; nature is a difficult divinity to fight against.”
Right. You blindly curled your fingers with Changmin's and the touch eased the throbbing in your chest. “What would you ask for in return?”
“You would be called to testify against Chan in our court,” Hongjoong stated, but not unkindly. “Take your time to think about it. I'm sure Changmin has my number.”
In the blink of an eye, Hongjoong and Amari were before you one second, then gone without a trace. A light gust of wind brushed past your face as the only evidence of magic being used. Beneath you, your floors were rid of the summoning circle and candles; and the Book of the Diabolical had disappeared from your table.
You and Changmin took your time returning your room to its former state. Your roommates outside in the main living space had all woken up from their forced slumber, their minds blank of the events leading up to Chan's ambush.
The emptiness in your chest left none to be desired. You sat in bed with your head against Changmin's shoulder, his hand playing with yours while your other rubbed your chest absentmindedly. No matter how much pressure you put, the chasm remained. Staying close to Changmin though remained second nature.
“What're you thinking about?” he murmured into your hair.
You tilted your nose up to graze his pulse. “How I'm going to tell Chaeyoung about this. She deserves to know what happened to Chan, at least.”
Changmin gave a slow nod. “I agree.”
Your eyes flickered up to his. “You're okay with me telling her? I can leave you out of it.”
“No, that's okay. She doesn't really know me,” he chuckled, that dimple impressing into his cheek. His smile widened as you leaned over and pressed your lips to it. “Are you feeling alright though? After everything?”
There wasn't much you could express with your words at the moment. How did one describe the loss of a friend? And how did one string together the words to tell someone that they loved them, that they were both the remedy and reason for the pounding of your heart? You did not know either for the time being. “It’ll take some getting used to.”
“What? The hole in your soul?” He pressed his palm flat against the center of his chest to feel the distant beat of his heart, slow, solid, and steady.
“That, and not being able to possess you.”
Changmin squawked in indignation. “And you say I'm the creep?”
“You literally still are!”
Both yours and Changmin's laughter lit up the dark, one spurring on the other. Though, if the shadows truly claimed him, then he was the night to your day; the other half for your whole; the one. Even if this entanglement began as an accident, all of the love you held for him was fully intentional. You would keep it safe in your chest, where he would always belong.
Tumblr media
[the cast of incantations will return... maybe?]
a/n: IMPORTANT!!! i would like to write a follow-up/sequel to not only continue the plotline, but to also get a chance to better explore minor character dynamics, subplots with loose ends, and the literal fallout of these events because leaving it here is VERY unsatisfying. it would fulfill my creative needs esp since this was written under an extreme time constraint, but i also won't feel inclined to unless u reblog TT so pls. reblog and lmk what u thought ! thank u so much for reading :')
84 notes · View notes
lidiasloca · 3 months ago
Text
delicately; part three (cassian x reader)
summary: when cassian meets reader, he doesn't think past her privileged life. but what if there is more behind her appearance? what if, who she really is, is meant to meet with him on a cold night at the court of nightmares for a reason?
(angst)
CHAPTER THREE
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄☆
Feeling tears roll down your face, you jump into his arms. 
Of course he knows.
Your mate. 
You gently pull away from the tight embrace. You have to find his eyes. Find something that can hold you to this earth. And so you watch each other. Silent, no words needed.
At least no coherent words. “We are mates,” you mumble in disbelief, the words running from your mind to your lips.
“We are,” he smiles lovingly.
You smile back. “So what now?”
He lets out a youthful laugh and sets you down on the floor delicately. He turns his face to you again, and his expression is softer, as if he’s thoughts had met yours.
You are mates. You are bounded. Together. 
“Well, I think now we have forever,” he states evidently.
Forever. 
You beam, shocked in a thrilling and heart-melting feeling. ‘Forever’ is too serious to be in the same sentence with ‘Cassian’, a male you barely know. 
Where does he live?
What’s his favorite color?
His favorite animal?
You realize you had lost yourself in your stupid thoughts when his rough hand softly takes your chin to look up at him instead of the ground. 
He reads you well. And you read him well, as if you both knew your souls like the back of your hands. And you find peace in that knowledge. You find peace in the reassuring look in his eyes. 
You could memorize all the trivial facts and characteristics of a person and never know them as well as you know a stranger whose soul is intertwined with your own. 
Yes, it’s scary. But it is also exciting. You will have forever to get to know him better. 
You cannot wait to start eternity with him. With Cassian.
‘We have forever,’ he had said… 
“Maybe we should start with something simpler,” you reply playfully. 
He chuckles. “Yes. You are going to meet my family first.” The male must have sensed the anxiety in your eyes, for he quickly adds, “Is that not reasonable? You have not to-”
You nervously excuse yourself, “It is - No! It’s more than reasonable. It’s just that… Well, what if they don’t like me?”
He bursts out laughing. 
You just stare at him. Wordless as you take in his scoffing. It’s hard to keep a serious look when his laugh is so contagious. Nonetheless, once he notes your straight face, he tries to cover his smile and explains, “What - you scared me there. I thought you didn’t want to meet them. I feared for your life. And mine.”
You open your mouth, astonished, waiting for his teasing smile. No smile. “You feared for our lives?”
“My family would do terrible things if I didn’t present my wife properly to them. The High Lord is not to be messed with. And his cousin…” He pretends to cover his face in fear. “And don’t get me started with the spymaster. You’ve probably heard of Azriel - be careful with that one. It’s a relief you were just being a timid little thing about meeting them.”
What?
Your mate considers his family the High Lord and his cousin, and a Spymaster. His family is not blood, you guess, and you totally understand. You don’t even like considering your father by blood your family, true, but it’s still odd. You make a mental note for later to ask him about it. When the proper moment comes. 
Because now your thoughts are elsewhere; in teaching your mate manners.
He tries really hard to contain his laughter when you pretend to be furious. Maybe you are a bit. “First. I hope you are kidding about your violent family. Second. Timid little thing? Dare you speak to your mate that way again, and I will be the one doing terrible things.”
“I was going to go for timid dork but you-”
“Cassian,” you bark as you poke him in the chest. He is unmoved. And giggly. 
“Sorry,” he mutters, still smiley. “I won’t call you a timid little thing again, if you agree to meeting my family.” You smirk triumphant; you can accept that. “Tonight.”
Your eyebrows shoot up. “What? Tonight?” 
“Tonight,” he replies plainly. “I fly you to our house. I show you the place. I call my friends when you are ready. We eat dinner. I take you to my room.” You turn visibly read as he continues. “And I read you a chapter of a book - what in all hells were you thinking about, love?” he asks loudly, making you want to dig yourself a grave and stay there.
You will strangle him. 
But before the opportunity is given, he takes you in his arms, lifts you up and looks at you intensely as you swallow a panicked scream. 
“Say yes,” he pleads.
“I-”
“Please, love.”
“Yes.”
And strong wind hits you in every centimeter of your skin as he takes off flying. 
… 
“I will surely lend you a dress. And lucky for you, I know just which one will be perfect for you,” the gorgeous female tells you as she leaves for said gown. 
It’s been about ten minutes since you arrived to the Hose of Wind. Ten minutes since Morrigan befriended you and treated you like you had known each other for a lifetime. 
You enjoy her presence. But not enough to ignore that you miss your mate, who had stayed in the living room to wait upon the others' arrival. The though of yet more people to meet makes you again anxious. They are not just people. They are Cassian’s family. If you made them hate you… 
“They will adore you,” Morrigan says as she returns to you, now with a stunning red dress in her hands.
“What?” you mumble.
“Azriel and Rhys. They will love you.”
You prayed they were as kind as Mor. Half as decent as her was even enough. 
“How do you know?” you ask, trying not to sound as desperate as you feel. 
“Because they love Cassian, and you are Cassian’s mate. They will surely love the best thing that’s ever happened to his best friend.”
Oh. Well, that is reassuring. You make sure to smile thankfully at her as she hands you the gown. You’ve never worn anything like that before. Nothing so fancy or eye-cathing. But the dress is a ruby red too familiar to reject. 
“Thank you,” you tell her, both for her words and for the dress. You love this girl so much already. 
She leaves you alone in the room so you can change, and in the silence you think about how you have never felt so accompanied. Cassian and Morrigan already fill a whole gap in your heart. Never had you befriended anyone, thanks to your father’s strict rules. Never had you actually bonded with anyone.
Anyone but your mother.
You had tried to avoid the though, but guilt quickly creeps in your heart. You have left your mother in that place alone. No - even worse - with your father. The thought of what your father would do to you when he found out you were missing. 
You felt tears run down your cheeks. 
Another perfect moment ruined by the though of your father. Guilt quickly changed to fury. No. He would not ruin one of the few good moments in your life. You have found your mate. You are about to meet his family, and you will do it with a smile on your face. Not your father on your mind.
You are decided when you put on the dress and walk to see your reflection in the mirror.
“You look…” You swiftly turn to the voice. Cassian looks, and looks, and keeps looking as you turn more and more red under his piercing eyes. “Y/N you look…”
“Never had you for a shy lover,” Mor says as she appears on the door, next to Cassian. He turns to her with an exhausted look, yet the surprise and tenderness of a second ago is still in his eyes. “You look lovely, Y/N,” the female says.
You don’t look at her as she approaches to fix your hair gently. You only have eyes for Cassian. And he is just as lost in you. 
“You do,” he finally corroborates, but it’s almost a whisper.
“Thank you,” you murmur, not helping the timid smirk on your face.
Morrigan sighs at the two of you, her eyes going from you to him again and again, as if in disbelief. “Girl, I’ve never seen Cassian act so silly.” Then she leans in and whispers for only you to hear, “You really have him wrapped around your finger.” 
You smirk as you watch Cassian’s eyebrows rise in question. But it’s your secret. You turn to Mor and grin at her mischievously, liking this new playful part of you. 
She is walking out the room when she turns and says out loud, “Be sure to use this to your benefit.” And she winks exaggeratedly. 
At that, Cassian’s eyes find yours in a silent question. But you nonchalantly ignore him and walk to him to the door. 
“Have they arrived?” you ask, but the nonchalance is now gone.
“Yes,” he answers. His eyes turn sympathetic when he takes in your uneasy demeanor. He moves his hands to hold your face lovingly. “Do not worry. I didn’t mean what I said about them being so violent,” he jokes.
You chuckle softly, the nerves dissipating a bit. “I know.”
“Well, at least I hope they aren’t tonight,” he teases. 
You smack his arm, shushing him as you laugh. “You are a dork.” He feigns indignation, and you shake your head in exasperation. “Stop being stupid and present me to your family,” you order, taking his hand, needing the reassuring feeling of having him close. 
At your words, his eyes spark with joy. Presenting you to his family is not just something big for you. You realize it is very important for him to. 
You are his mate. 
Then you think about how you don’t have a family to present to him. And that breaks your heart. You know your mother would love him, she would love anything in this world that could make you happy, but with your father at her side, there was no chance you could present Cassian. 
Your mate senses your momentarily sadness, and yet again asks you only with his eyes. You dismiss his question with a genuine smile as you start walking to the living room. You deserve to enjoy this moment. You deserve to let go of your father for a night and only fill your heart with love for Cassian.
Love and nervousness.
“Y/N, these are Rhys and Azriel…”
Tumblr media
YES we are back with Delicately. thanku for reading and especially for waiting so long. but better later than ever. love to hear your thoughts on my fics and love to see my work being read so yet again THANKU.
CASSIAN MASTERLIST, WHAT WOULD THE LORD OF BLOODSHED THINK IF YOU DIDN'T CLICK AND READ ABOUT HIM? DON'T HURT HIS PROUD AND VAIN HEART :)
@justdreamstars
-Characters by Saraah J. Maas
76 notes · View notes
germiyahu · 10 months ago
Text
Not too thrilled that my other post is getting so many notes when I'm not satisfied with it for a multitude of reasons. Let's have a do-over, hopefully much more succinct and to the original point.
When Palestinians, actually basically all Arabs, or all Muslims, say "Jerusalem is holy to us it is the 3rd holiest city in our religion." The White Western Leftist (WWL) will say "That's so valid your religion is so interesting and beautiful Hamas did nothing wrong I love the Houthis!"
But if a Jew ever rebuts "Jerusalem is holy to us as well, it's our holiest city, basically the only one we have," the WWL will probably roll their eyes, scoff, probably say something like "Okay but like why are you still using your outdated Zionist death cult to justify colonialism? You really think the Bible justifies killing millions of Palestinians?" and start going on and on about how Judaism invented everything bad about Christianity.
My hypothesis: These people are not allies to Muslims (Palestinians). They are condescending to them. They are throwing them a bone because they feel bad about how the Muslim world has been treated, well ever since Sykes-Picot, but especially post 9/11, the Patriot Act, The War on Terror, Iraq, Afghanistan, the Drone War, Libya, Nato, The Arab Spring, the list goes on. They don't think Muslims are capable of building the kind of societies they want, not without their gracious help. They don't think Muslims should have the same ideals of democracy and human rights, because they don't expect that from the Brown People. They won't ever hold them to such a standard because "Ugh where do we get off lecturing them?" even though they would never think this of Jews.
These people are not equals to Jews, something something Sartre they think they are both superior and inferior (which makes them superior). They are not just trying to hold their fellow citizens of the world to account. They are trying to put Jews in their place. They are projecting their religious trauma onto Jews because they do not understand Judaism. They see Judaism as Power. They are trying to delegitimize Judaism as a religion (and it is a religion, including the parts of religions that give atheists the "ick," including a lot of mysticism). They are trying to caterwaul about Jews being responsible for the world's ills and that they expect Jewish People to be better than this. To evolve beyond religion and community and affiliation and identity. They want Jewish to be nothing more than a box ticked off on a census. A neat little factoid about yourself, like how your neighbor Cheryl has Norwegian ancestry.
My only conclusion is that these people find Jews and Judaism repulsive, and they find Muslims and Islam primitive. Unlike their parents' generation, they appreciate the primitive. It is noble savagery to them. Unlike their parents' generation, the comparatively cosmopolitan modern secular Western sheen of Jewry (applied to Jews against their will) is not something that we almost lost from the world, but an annoying holdover of what we almost successfully purged from the world.
Because remember, while they hate their parents and everything they stand for, they still deep down want Daddy's approval. So it makes perfect sense why the psyche would displace anger and trauma and all that caused by Christianity, and look elsewhere to place blame. It falls at the feet of Jews and Judaism. Because my culture could never, there has to be a missing puzzle piece that could explain- oh there it is. The Jews did it. And wow look how easily this can slot in with every other antisemitism conspiracy theory.
The audacity to think I could make a shorter version of that post 😂 But basically it's this: The WWL, the Zoomer Left, the Tankies, whatever name you call them... they think that they can "save" Muslims by offering up Jews, and the terrorist fascist fundamentalists like Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthis, they're on board. They're all in. Normal ass every day Muslims/Palestinians? They just want peace, they just want rights, they just want sovereignty. The WWL is not interested in that perspective.
They have not once in their lives thought of what they could possibly do in terms of reparations. No no, tweeting and marching for a weekend are quite enough. They have not once in their lives turned inward and self reflected on the ways they benefit from and their own role in these systems of supremacy, that have harmed Muslims around the world. Jewish blood is more than enough to pay for operation Iraqi Freedom. Jewish lives are a fetching price to assuage the Westerner's guilt. You know since they have so much trouble turning inward and reflecting on their own contribution to Islamophobia, it might do them good to practice a little תשובה... but I don't know 😌
189 notes · View notes