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padfootagain · 4 months ago

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Love in Verses (XXII)

Chapter 22 : ‘And if you missed a day, there was always the next, and if you missed a year, it didn’t matter, the hills weren’t going anywhere’

Hi! Here is a new chapter! A very important chapter!!!

I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!

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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 2436

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

Sunrise

This time of year, the window boxes smell of the hills, the thyme and rosemary that grew there, crammed into the narrow spaces between the rocks and, lower down, where there was real dirt, competing with other things, blueberries and currants, the small shrubby trees the bees love— Whatever we ate smelled of the hills, even when there was almost nothing. Or maybe that’s what nothing tastes like, thyme and rosemary.

Maybe, too, that’s what it looks like— beautiful, like the hills, the rocks above the tree line webbed with sweet smelling herbs, the small plants glittering with dew—

It was a big event to climb up there and wait for dawn, seeing what the sun sees as it slides out from behind the rocks, and what you couldn’t see, you imagined;

your eyes would go as far as they could, to the river, say, and your mind would do the rest—

And if you missed a day, there was always the next, and if you missed a year, it didn’t matter, the hills weren’t going anywhere, the thyme and rosemary kept coming back, the sun kept rising, the bushes kept bearing fruit—

The streetlight’s off: that’s dawn here. It’s on: that’s twilight. Either way, no one looks up. Everyone just pushes ahead, and the smell of the past is everywhere, the thyme and rosemary rubbing against your clothes, the smell of too many illusions—

Between them, the hills and sky took up all the room. Whatever was left, that was ours for a while. But eventually the hills will take it back, give it to the animals. And maybe the moon will send the seas there, and where we lived will be a stream or river coiling around the base of the hills, paying the sky the compliment of reflection.

I went back but I didn’t stay. Everyone I cared about was gone, some dead, some disappeared into one of those places that don’t exist, the ones we dreamed about because we saw them from the top of the hills— I had to see if the fields were still shining, the sun telling the same lies about how beautiful the world is when all you need to know of a place is, do people live there. If they do, you know everything.

The hills are terrible, they hide the truth of the past. Green in summer, white when the snow falls.

Louise Glück

You went home that night a few minutes after Andrew had left. There was no need to stay, you couldn’t focus or have any kind of coherent thought after that kiss anyway. So you headed home, trying not to think of Andrew, of his delicious scent, of the roughness of his beard against your skin, of the softness of his lips against yours, of his taste of coffee and chocolate, of how good his kiss was…

You kept those thoughts at bay while driving, but then they were swarming as you took off your shoes in your flat, locked your door, took off your coat and started pacing across your living room.

What the fuck was that?! The first time around, you were both drunk, it was easy to brush off the moment you had shared as a mistake. But this time?!

You needed to be logical. Logic and reason. Logic and reason…

What the fuck was that?!

A mistake. That was what it was. You had said it yourself! His feelings were all over the place, and in these moments of intense stress, people did crazy and stupid things, like kissing other people they didn’t really like. Maybe he was feeling lonely, and, and… you were there… you were there and that was it. Nothing special about it. He had apologised, it was alright, the two of you could go on with your lives and your arrangement as if nothing had happened.

But then… why did you keep thinking about his lips on yours, and his tongue, and his hands, and his smell, and his rushing heart under your palm and…

No! You turned to the picture of you and Frank displayed there, on your mantlepiece, the one reminder of the life you should have, the one you wanted. You were a strong, independent woman, and you knew what you wanted. You wanted your life back. You wanted your life with Frank back. Yes, Andrew was smart, and kind, and a gentle soul, and hilarious once you had broken his shy shell, and adorable with his blushing and his discomfort and his glasses, and of course, of course he was gorgeous, tall and pretty and…

… yes, yes to all of that. But you wanted Frank.

You wanted Frank.

You repeated the sentence like a mantra, just to convince yourself. And for a moment, you succeeded.

Still, the dreams you forgot in the morning were full of long brown curls, of a beard brushing your skin, of hazel and a laughter you knew was not Frank’s. Not Frank’s at all…

The air was crisp, the leaves white with frost, the grass a paler green than usual. The sky a moody grey, the trail ahead overgrown with bushes over its edges. The buzzy chirping of birds, the whisper of a river nearby. The hushed murmur of leaves under a squall, the shade under the canopy of the forest you were walking through. It was cold, and it was lovely, wandering across the countryside across the Wicklow Hills. Such a quiet day, life in winter was slowed down, Nature itself had settled for a rhythm that was quieter than its usual rush of life. It felt like you had a million years ahead of you, like this very day would never end, like time would stretch forever ahead, becoming infinite in its slowing pace. Like there would always be a tomorrow, like all things in life would last.

The warm feeling that had settled in Andrew’s chest was steady, unwavering, this afternoon. It had appeared when he had dropped by your building to pick you up. You were grinning, such a happy smile on your features. He was glad, relieved even, to find such grins more and more often on your lips these days. It seemed that you were happier again, a closer image to the woman he had first met, the one beaming with warmth and a quiet joy.

Elwood was walking before him, taking off every now and then because of the nearby smell of a bird, a badger, or a fox, but Andrew was quick to call for him, and the obedient dog always stopped, returned to the safety of Andrew’s side. He seemed in bliss like this, free to run up and down the path as long as Andrew could keep an eye on him. He was busy sniffing the side of the path now, near a relatively tall oak tree, while Andrew was laughing loudly, so loudly he scared for good the fox Elwood had smelled.

“Do it again! Do it again, Andy!”

Andrew tried to calm down, to breathe fully again, but it was hard to do so when your laughter was still in the air. You seemed so happy this afternoon. Carefree. Radiant. Christ, he wanted this moment to last forever, to see you smiling like this until the sun itself would burst and destroy all things known to mankind, until the universe would collapse and die out, until even light was gone. He wanted this moment to last forever, for you to always be this happy, for him to always be able to see you like this…

He caught himself thinking these ridiculous thoughts, because okay, fine, maybe he liked you a little. Perhaps, just perhaps he had a tiny crush on you. But nothing more. Nothing close to love. That was a feeling only for Sam, you… you were charming, and funny, and so damn smart, and strong, and brave, and gorgeous and… yes! Yes, of course, to all of that, but you weren’t Sam, and he wanted Sam, because he couldn’t fall in love with someone else, that was impossible. He had come to this conclusion the night after your second kiss, a week ago. You had said it yourself, his feelings were all over the place, he wasn’t thinking straight. Yes, he was attracted to you, yes, he liked you… but that was it. That was it…

Except it wasn’t, and Andrew was painfully aware of it now. Now that you stared at him with those eyes he saw in his dreams, now that your laughter warmed his very soul, now that all he wanted was to kiss you, to hold you tight, to feel your grin against his lips and taste the joy that escaped your mouth.

He liked you. Badly so. He had a crush on you. A very, very heavy crush on you. One that he had to refrain and get under control, because none of this was the plan, because you were colleagues, because you were friends, because you still loved your ex while Andrew wasn’t certain of his feelings for his ex… and yet, he still felt it with every fibre of his being.

He had a crush on you…

“Do it again!” you commanded once more, and you were so adorable like this, all laughter and childish excitement.

He was laughing too much though. When he brought up his hands to his mouth, positioning a single blade of grass between his thumbs, he couldn’t blow enough air to make the grass whistle.

“Wait…” he choked on his laughter.

“Do it again, Andy!”

“Stop making me laugh so much!” he complained, stumbling on his feet, laughing too hard.

“Come on!”

“Hang on… wait, wait, wait…”

He adjusted the grass between his fingers, put it to his lips once more. It failed, but he tried a third time. The sound that came out was hilarious, but it worked. He looked at you with wide eyes, while you laughed again. He made a funny face while blowing hard a fourth time, and you doubled over with laughter.

“What was… that sound?!” you laughed so hard you were choking on your words, and Andrew wasn’t in a better state as he answered.

“A whistle!”

“It’s not… not a whistle! It’s a trumpet at best…”

You couldn’t speak anymore, Andrew had to stop walking, holding onto his stomach as he bent over and laughed, laughed, laughed until there were tears falling on his glasses. You reached for him for support as you were lost to a new fit of laughter. He reached for you as well, meeting you halfway so you could hold onto his arm, and he could do the same.

Further down the path, Elwood was sending the pair of you a questioning look, but Andrew didn’t notice. He finally calmed down enough to stand straight, stretching fully his back again. He waited for you to be steady on your feet to let go, but you kept on holding onto him. He took off his glasses to dry them on his scarf.

“I can’t believe you’re mocking my secret talent,” he shook his head.

“This was hilarious. Ugh… my stomach hurts now.”

“Come on, we’re almost there! There’s such a nice view up the hill.”

“Give me a minute. I need to catch my breath.”

“Am I making you out of breath?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows and successfully making you laugh again, although he couldn’t help but regret having this playful flirt with you.

“Sometimes,” you admitted with a wink, and the sight made his heart skip several beats.

He hoped you would take his flushed cheeks for a consequence of his laughter, or the cold weather, or your walk even.

“Come on, we’re almost there!” he dragged you along further up the path until you had found back your usual pace.

You hurried as you noticed that the forest was less and less dense, the trees more spaced out until there was nothing above your heads but the greyish white of the sky. You almost ran the first few meters to the top of the hill, while Andrew looked at you, shaking his head and climbing at a more reasonable pace. Elwood was trotting next to you, tail wiggling in joy.

At the top of the hill, there were about twenty more meters to walk to reach a clear view of the valley below surrounded by the small mountains of the Wicklow hills. A river ran through the valley, a string of greyish blue in a land made of patches of browns and greens. He let you walk ahead for a bit, stopped when your silhouette seemed to be overseeing the valley. He took out his phone, snapped a picture of you with your red scarf blowing in the wind, a vivid contrast to the pale sky, with mountains before you and Elwood sitting at your feet. He could have stood there for hours, looking at the gorgeous landscape, the cotton-like sky, you… He felt so peaceful then, without his ordinary dread of time passing, of running out of precious moments, of missing what was important, of wasting the little amount of years he was allowed to spend on this earth. There was just today, and he had all the time in the world, so long as he could watch you like this…

You turned around then, grinning.

“Andy! It’s gorgeous out here!”

“Told you!” he spoke loudly to be heard over the wind that was blowing harder on the treeless space of the summit.

“Come here!”

You held out your hand for him, and Andrew walked over to you, held the hand you were offering in his. You gave his fingers a squeeze, grinning, before letting go and turning to the beautiful sight again.

“Thanks for bringing me here,” you leaned against him, and Andrew didn’t think as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, drawing you closer.

He heaved a sigh, taking in the view. Wild and peaceful and familiar. It felt like home. Your weight against him was grounding, reliable, warm. It felt like home, too.

And for a moment, while staring at the wilderness of the Irish landscape, Andrew felt human. Instead of a struggling adult with his love life in shambles who overworked to cope with the mess the rest of his life was, he felt like he knew what it meant to be alive on this earth. Being here, staring at the land spreading at his feet, with his dog rubbing his head against his jeans, with you in his arms… That was what being human was supposed to feel like…

“Let’s take a break before going back,” you offered. “I’ve brought snacks.”

He nodded, offered you some water but you surprised him with a thermos and proper snacks. You headed back along the track to escape the violent wind, the cold too intense to bare in the openness of the hilltop. You sat down on a rock, not far from the path, and handed Andrew one of the two small thermos you had brought with you, along with a little box in which you had prepared snacks for him.

“Thank you so much, that’s so sweet,” he grinned.

You pulled out some treats for Elwood too, and Andrew’s heart melted for good.

While you busied yourself with spoiling his dog, Andrew drank some of the tea you had made for him. He frowned hard at the taste. It was… exactly how he took it. It was undoubtedly the taste of his favourite brand, the flavour too strong, it had to have been made using two teabags instead of one. He opened the little box, found there two pieces of his favourite chocolate, some grapes and a couple of biscuits. His favourites, here again.

In eight years of relationship with Sam, she had never done anything for him that seemed so tailored to his taste.

He looked at your own snacks, same quantity, but different biscuits, chocolate and fruits. Tailored to your own taste.

You had gone out of your way to prepare this for him. And it was stupidly simple, if Andrew brought it up, you would brush it off as if it were nothing. But it was everything.

You knew him. You knew him, and you had prepared all this so he would enjoy it, because you knew him.

You knew him. You…

“Andy? You’re okay?”

He merely nodded, blinked tears away, looked down at the snacks resting on his knees.

“Thanks for the snacks. That’s really fucking sweet.”

“It’s nothing.”

“I love those.”

Your smile grew more tender.

“I know.”

You knew… you knew…

He struggled not to say the words on his tongue, knowing it would spoil everything, terrified at the thought that he truly felt this way. It was obvious though. Now that the words formed in his mind, they were obviously true, so painfully obvious, how could he have been so blind?

I love you.

#hozier #andrew hozier byrne #the hoziest #hozier x reader #hozier x you #hozier x y/n #hozier x fem!reader #hozier series #hozier fanfiction #hozier fic #hozier au #hozier professor au #professor au #fanfiction #fanfic #writing

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magicshopaholic · 8 months ago

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Fever Dream (Taehyung x OC)

Summary: Dressed in vintage Chanel, your and Taehyung's messy past comes back to haunt you.

Pairing: Taehyung x OC (feat. Jungkook)

Genre: Some fluff, angst

Word count: 9.1 K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: language, if that

A/N: Here is the next installment of unedited fic series. Takes place a little over a month after A Day in the Life.

Tagging: @bbl32, @quarter-life-crisis2, @margopinkerton, @faearchives, @whoisbts, @purpleseoul7, @kflixnet (if you want to be added to the taglist, lmk)

Listen to: "free fallin'" by john mayer

taehyung masterlist| main masterlist

Dilara [11:40] Hey babe. Reached?

Tae [11:40] Just about. Wow, it’s been really long since I’ve been to one of these. Forgot how chaotic it is.

Dilara [11:41] Tell me about it. Everyone’s impossibly good-looking.

Tae [11:42] Really? Did you just walk by a mirror or something?

Dilara [11:42] Save some of that charm for tonight, pretty boy.

Tae [11:43] See you in a few, pretty girl.

Dilara slips into the ladies’ room facing the mirror over the basins and exhaling. The flight and drive were long enough, but she seems to be the only person showing signs of it. It helps to have Taehyung nearby, though, even if actual time together seems limited.

She needs to be back out there, though, letting the crew know and get started on whatever PR they have planned. Fluffing out her curly hair and noting how the curls seem to have set nicely for once, she rummages in her bag for a last minute spritz of perfume and swipe of lipstick.

As she searches, one of the stalls behind her opens and she hears the sound of another sigh. It’s gratifying, she reflects, to not be the only one feeling overwhelmed.

“It’s quite a crowd outside.”

Dilara chuckles, finally locating the tiny travel-size bottle of Zara’s Nude Bouquet and taking off the cap. “Tell me about it,” she mutters, straightening up and spraying it on her neck and the inside of her wrists. “Felt like I needed to escape.”

The other girl laughs lightly, and Dilara glances at her in the mirror. Her long black hair falls down her shoulders but she looks familiar - Dilara immediately thinks of Charles Leclerc’s girlfriend and the image sticks.

“I get that,” she agrees, and her voice is soft, almost musical. “Wow, that’s a nice scent. Where is it from?”

“Oh, it’s Zara.” Without thinking anything of it, Dilara offers it to her. “Want to try?”

The girl straightens up as well and turns to her - it’s not Charles’s girlfriend - and gasps mildly. “It’s such a coincidence - I think I packed my cosmetics in the wrong bag and they all reached my hotel. You really don’t mind?”

Dilara shakes her head wordlessly. Impossibly good-looking. But she can’t look away.

Jennie smiles gratefully and takes the slim bottle, spraying it in the same spots Dilara did and returning it. “Thank you. It’s been a long flight.”

“And a long drive from the airport.”

“I know.” She pauses. “You look kind of familiar, by the way. I’m picturing a Polaroid… I feel like we’ve met?”

“Oh, uh…” Dilara shakes her head, turning back to this basin to wash her hands, barely able to feel the cool water. “No. We haven’t.”

“Oh. I’m Jennie. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Dilara.”

“That’s a pretty name. Where is it -” A phone ringing interrupts her and she winces, apologetically checking her phone. “Sorry, I have to go. Maybe I’ll see you later tonight.”

Dilara forces half a smile. “Maybe.”

Jennie gives her a small wave and leaves. For a moment, nothing happens. Dilara fluffs out her hair and checks her phone out of habit before frowning, realising she can’t remember if she washed her hands. The water feels cooler now and she squeezes out some of the floral-smelling lotion next to soap, rubbing it over her hands.

It’s time to head out. The impossibly good-looking people aren’t going anywhere and Dilara is technically working. As she reaches the door, her phone buzzes.

Tae [11:50] Can you tell me where you are? I need to talk to you.

—

It seems likely to be a huge event. The marquee spans what looks like half an acre at least, under which two dozen tables with designer chairs and sparkly, minimalist place settings are spread out. Flex boards are strategically placed with who are probably the most famous Korean celebrities in attendance, the low stage is a shiny black and the few non-Korean guests stick out, although not in an unpleasant way. The guest list and event decor is no surprise - it is a Samsung event after all.

Dilara spots Taehyung walking past a camera with Jimin, only the latter waving. He looks… distracted, despite the smooth and impassive expression. They stop under the shade where he takes off his sunglasses, frowning slightly in the afternoon sun. Her gaze falls lower, to the band of his trousers to his hand in his pockets, and the shape tells her they are balled into fists.

Dodging one of the impossibly good-looking people, this one a vaguely familiar person - probably an actress - Dilara stops some ways away from Taehyung and Jimin, directly opposite them. It won’t take long now, for his eyes are darting around anyway, until they find hers and his forehead clears.

Dilara holds his gaze for a moment before turning around and beginning to walk. She isn’t exactly sure where to; most of the signs are written in Korean with the English translations in smaller font.

But she continues without stopping, her pace mild and stance casual, her arms folded across her chest. Somewhere along the way, her peripheral vision catches Taehyung on the opposite side of the path, one hand still in his pocket as he saunters with grace.

They turn together, coincidentally, down a path to a huge trailer. The gigantic Big Hit logo, combined with the confidence with which Taehyung strides in, tells her exactly whose it is. Few staff members scatter as he pushes open the door and stands aside to let her in, not speaking until it’s closed and they’re alone.

Taehyung opens his mouth to speak but pauses, as though changing tacks at the last second. “Hi,” he says, a hint of a smile spreading across his features.

It’s been three weeks since they’ve seen each other, she recalls only now. “Hey,” she replies, although it comes across as a bit of a sigh.

He steps towards her, a bit hesitant, before placing one arm around her waist and gently bringing her to him and hugging her. He kisses her on the cheek. “Missed you,” he whispers, his lips on her hair.

Dilara’s hands go around him automatically, but it’s hard to focus. Or there’s too much focus - she can’t tell. It takes her a moment, but she nods into his shoulder, closing her eyes and trying to enjoy the first whiffs of his Sauvage, always the best ones.

“Missed you, too,” she murmurs. Her hands tighten around his t-shirt, momentarily clutching them tight before she forces herself to step away.

Taehyung touches her cheek, allowing himself another fond gesture before dropping his hand to his side. He glances at the floor and for a brief fraction of a second, a pit of fury takes form in her stomach.

It disappears almost instantly, though. Taehyung swallows and looks up. “Look, I have to tell you something. When we reached and got out of the car, there was a short briefing and one of the producers mentioned that -“

“Jennie is here.”

Taehyung’s face goes slack. “Wait, you knew? How? Did Calvin Klein tell you or was it like a - how do you say it? A memo?”

“Calvin Klein is not going to send anyone a memo of Jennie’s travel plans. No, I - I ran into her in the ladies’ room,” she answers. He doesn’t respond immediately and Dilara bites her lip; she feels like she should say more.

“You… ran into her?” Taehyung’s voice is almost hushed. “Like, you saw her or -“

“I stood next to her. We talked about how long our flights were and then she borrowed my perfume.”

Dilara can’t blame Taehyung for looking slightly incredulous. It sounds like a fever dream when she says it out loud. Wildly, it occurs to her that for the next few hours at least, she and Jennie Kim will smell the same.

Evidently, he decides not to probe. “Are you okay?” he asks softly.

“Mhm.”

“Because… I swear, I had no idea she would be here.”

“I know.”

“If I did, I would’ve told you as soon as I -“

“I know. I believe you.”

His eyes flicker and the relief is unmissable. “Good,” he murmurs.

Dilara looks away, anywhere; the look in his eyes, of anxiety, worry, guilt - it’s a rabbit hole she doesn’t want to go down right now. There’s no place in her mind right now, or in her heart, for anything more than the effort to not make this a big deal.

“I should go,” she says after a moment. “I need to meet my team and then they have me selecting a dress or something for tonight.” She moves to leave.

His response is immediate. “Lara, are you -”

“I am,” she interrupts, not turning around but stopping in her tracks. “Look, it’s…” It’s weird. It feels like the understatement of the year, or it should be, but she truthfully can’t think of what else it is. “It’s fine,” she says finally, looking back at him briefly. He looks concerned and it’s not what she wants to see. “You’re… all in the same industry. And we’ve moved on.”

Taehyung nods slowly. “Okay. Will, uh… will we see each other before the event?”

Dilara shrugs. “Depends. You’ll probably have to get ready here,” she guesses, and his shoulders falling tell her she’s correct. “Tonight. Later.” Before he can respond, she leaves.

—

Jungkook [13:30] Okay wait. What about these? [picture] [picture] [picture] [picture] [picture]

Dilara [13:31] Um I dunno. The second looks fine.

Jungkook [13:31] Really? It’s not too extra?

Dilara [13:32] Facial piercings are the definition of extra.

Jungkook [13:32] Well that’s why I want a subtle eyebrow piercing. It can’t just be about the tattoos all the time.

Dilara [13:33] Fine, so second.

Jungkook [13:34] Reallyyyyy? I kinda liked the third.

Dilara [13:34] Then go with the third. It’s your face, not mine. Well, yours and Big Hit’s. Are they really okay with their chocolate boy going emo punk right after tour?

Jungkook [13:35] Fuck them. It’s my choice. So third? Actually what do you think about the fourth? With the sapphire stud?

Dilara sighs and lowers her phone. Jungkook’s indecisiveness, while sometimes endearing, is not something she can appreciate right now. It had taken all her will and ability to compartmentalise to get through her video segment a little while ago: Off Track: Get Ready with Dilara Komyshan!

She still has hours to get ready; the filming made no sense. Neither does the layout of the ground, in her opinion, for there are people arriving from three different entry points. It seems stupid and not very well thought out at all, and Dilara just knows it will cause confusion once the event actually begins.

Taking a sip of the canned grapefruit drink she’d picked up from one of the tables, she winces. It’s sugary sweet and, she suspects, not even real fruit. But there were no other options and she was thirsty. Looking around to check if the coast is clear, she tosses it into a nearby bin. Her phone buzzes again and she closes her eyes.

Damn it, Jungkook. Just get the damn piercing.

Jungkook [13:38] Still there? I was thinking, maybe you were right about the second. Oxidised silver is kind of classic and really makes the whole thing stand out. What do you think?

Dilara [13:40] You know, I really don’t think I’m the best person to advise you here. When I was in school, I had a thing for guys with lip piercings, so what do I know?

Just as she navigates away from WhatsApp, she hears a rustle and whips around.

“Sorry!” A young man, carrying a laptop, two clipboards and a cup of coffee stumbles into her little alcove away from the main event. He says something else in Korean before looking up and noticing her, and his eyes flash in recognition. “Dilara Komyshan!” he blurts out, his face slightly red.

“Uh, yes -” She darts forward to catch his cup as it slips out of his hand, no doubt saving it from spilling all over his clean white trousers.

“Oh, thank you,” he breathes, panting slightly. “It’s been a crazy day and I’ve fucked up - oh, God, I think I’m going to get fired today!” He dumps his belongings onto a table between them and shakes his head, apparently inviting himself to her solitary rendezvous.

If Dilara had to guess, he sounds Canadian. Not knowing if she’s meant to respond, she nods in what she hopes is a sympathetic way, hoping he’s busy enough to leave soon. To her surprise, he leans back against a tree on the other side of the table and fishes around in his pocket, retrieving a pack of cigarettes.

Dilara’s fingers twitch unexpectedly. “Mind if I bump one?”

He raises his eyebrows. “You smoke?”

Shit. “It’s been a crazy day for me, too,” she confesses. “Maybe we can keep each other’s fuck-ups between us?”

He half-chuckles and offers the pack to her. “Dan,” he says, handing her a lighter as well.

“Dilara.” She lights her cig and takes a drag, returning the lighter. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

The nicotine feels a bit stifling on a sunny afternoon, but there’s something mildly comforting about it, too. The only downside of it, she realises, is that it’s opened the door for this Dan individual to take her quip to heart and begin baring his soul to her.

“It’s ridiculous, honestly,” he vents passionately, “because they really shouldn’t give access to things to one person, you know? Not when that person doesn’t understand responsibility or - or commitment to a team, and quits a week before an event. Who does that? Right? I mean - you of all people would understand,” he declares, pointing to her suddenly. “You’re in Red Bull - wouldn’t you commit to your team until the very end?”

Dilara stares, unsure how she’s expected to answer, for Christian Horner would probably tear up her contract and eat the pieces if Max Verstappen demanded it.

“I - sure. Yeah.”

“Exactly.” He shakes his head, his face still red. “It’s just really overwhelming. There’s a lot to do and we’re one guy short and… God, I don’t even want to get into what happened earlier today.”

He pauses, as though waiting for her to ask. Dilara, looking straight ahead, doesn’t take the bait, silently taking another drag. Next to her, Dan is almost bouncing on the balls of his feet, seeming more flustered than ever.

“Someone accidentally wiped out the version history of our seating chart after making changes to it - bam, it’s out there.” He says the whole thing very quickly and exhales shakily. “And it could… technically be considered my fault - and only technically - because I was the last one to use it but if you really think about it, it’s - it’s really poor planning because - I mean, Google Sheets? In this day and age? And the only person who knew it by heart and - and who was in charge of it - quit last week. With no warning. And now we’re having to wing it, which brings me back to the whole teamwork thing, so you tell me, you know. Who is really at fault…”

Dilara presses her fingers to her temple, wishing he would leave, for this isn’t worth the clandestine cigarette. He continues venting and she tries to tune him out.

“You’re table six, though, right?” His somewhat frantic voice interrupts her thoughts.

“Uh… I’m not sure. I wasn’t told what table I’d be at,” she mutters, glancing at him to see him peering into his laptop screen. The brightness is at full blast and she can see a Google Sheet open, the first two cells labelled “이름/Name” and “테이블/Table” with numerous names written similarly in Korean and English, and all the table numbers in Arabic numerals. She recognises some names: Kim Namjoon stands out, as does Jang Wonyoung, Sydney Sweeney, Jennie Kim…

“Oh, God - it’s frozen!”

Dan hammers at the refresh button but the cursor turns into a blue circle and he makes a choking sound between a cry and a groan. At that moment, his phone rings and he visibly gulps at the screen. “I have to - I have to take this,” he stutters to no one in particular, answering it and backing away, raising a hand to Dilara in apology before disappearing.

Dilara raises her eyebrows and mimics his movement, privately glad for a moment of peace. She can’t listen to his complaints about the event any longer. It seemed like an excruciatingly boring event from the beginning and she’s already rather preoccupied, thinking of all the practice on the SIM she could have squeezed in this weekend if it weren’t for this stupid event.

The laptop screen is unrelentingly bright; blinking a bit, she taps the key to lower it. Frowning, she moves the mouse to see it working perfectly. Rolling her eyes, she leans to the side to look for Dan.

“Mate, your screen is responding again,” she says, but there’s no answer. In fact, she can’t even hear him anymore.

Maybe he jumped, Taehyung would say, seriously and without expression, maintaining it even when others would chuckle.

She scrolls absently to search for his name. Cha Eunwoo, Alia Bhatt, Jeon Jungkook… she spots her own name, a brief moment of relief to see she will have at least one familiar face at her table. Then, a little while later, Kim Taehyung.

He had looked so… concerned for her today. Anxious. All the casual confidence he’d retained for the rest of the world had fallen away to reveal the moments of vulnerability he reserved for her. She can’t recall at this moment how it usually makes her feel, for today, she couldn’t turn away fast enough.

Dan returns a minute later, just as Dilara is leaving.

“Thanks for the cig,” she says, giving him a small wave.

“You’re welcome. Oh - it’s working again!” He lets out a low whistle, running his finger across the mousepad. “Thank God. Well - it was really nice to meet you. Big fan.”

“You, too. Good luck with your seating chart.”

—

It’s late afternoon when the guests begin assembling by the grounds, everyone poised to make an entrance on the “pink carpet”, a peach-coloured path curving towards the marquee. The sky is a melange of grey and pink and orange, a very light breeze giving the event the vibe of an upscale wine-tasting.

Taehyung, dressed in an off-white linen suit with his hair left loose and freshly washed so it may “go where the wind pleases” (his stylist’s words, not his), speaks into a mic as he answers the interviewer’s questions, glancing occasionally into the camera as he does.

“And will you be hoping to meet any friends here tonight?” the interviewer asks chirpily.

“Of course - I’ve already seen many people I know here, so I’m sure we’ll all have a good time tonight.” He smiles after this perfunctory, scripted answer, before giving her a nod of acknowledgement and making way for the next celebrity behind him.

It had been the company’s idea to have them make separate entrances, given Seokjin and Yoongi were not attending, so as to not make the group look smaller. As he heads inside, waving at some of the cameras and some lucky fans who’ve managed to get access to the outer areas of the grounds, he takes the opportunity to let his eyes roam around the crowd and the guests, hoping to spot Dilara.

They haven’t seen each other since their fleeting moment earlier today. He had managed to maneuver a way out of one of their filmings to head back to the hotel, hoping they would cross paths before she had to get ready. While she had left him a short message saying she would try, evidently the timings hadn’t worked out and they’d missed each other.

At least, Taehyung hopes it was the timings. He can’t exactly blame Dilara for being a little on edge today, possibly a little distant, but the only solution he can come up with is to be with her, be there for her, maybe show her however he can that she doesn’t need to be on edge at all.

She hasn’t arrived yet, though; a little disappointed, Taehyung turns his attention to the artfully adorned tables, realising he has no idea which one to sit at.

“Check the name cards.” Jimin sidles up next to him and points at the thick cards in little tents at every seat, anywhere between six and ten at each table.

“Found mine,” says Namjoon, who’d entered a minute before Taehyung, holding up a card at a table right in the front. “Hobi’s is here, too.”

“Hang on, are we all not together?” Taehyung asks nobody in particular, frowning.

From behind him, another idol shakes his head, overhearing the question. “Nah, doesn’t look like it,” says Chan, peering at the name cards as well. “They probably don’t want to draw attention to idol groups, I guess?”

People are starting to take their seat, having to check name cards everywhere. A few people who look like they are event management have scurried over, helping guests, the whole thing becoming slightly chaotic.

Taehyung finds himself hoping that he and Dilara might be at the same table, if it’s indeed at random. He begins searching for both their names, but Jimin gets there first.

“Found Dilara,” he mouths, catching Taehyung’s eye meaningfully. “Oh, and Jungkook is at this table, too,” he adds in a regular volume.

“Anyone else?” Taehyung asks hopefully, trying not to be too disappointed when Jimin shakes his head. He counts it lucky that Dilara still has Jungkook, at least one familiar face at an event that’s mostly strangers to her.

Jungkook isn’t here yet either; he’d be recording a demo with Yoongi in the hotel room despite the latter not attending the event, and would probably reach just in time for it to start.

“Oh, wait - Jimin!” Taehyung calls, holding up a card. “Here’s yours.”

“Oh, great. Who else is here… dude, so are you!” Almost diametrically opposite the circular table, Jimin holds up a card with Taehyung’s name. “Awesome!”

Taehyung grins and they high-five at waist-level before taking their seats, Jimin continuing to scan the other cards. “I don’t know who this is… oh, this is the actress from Snowdrop, right? I think it is… and - oh.” Jimin looks up at Taehyung, and it’s an expression Taehyung immediately takes note of.

“What?”

“Do you know who else is at this table?” he asks in a hushed voice, leaning over and glancing at the entrance surreptitiously.

Taehyung knows before Jimin subtly turns the card towards him, with the name of a guest to be seated directly between both of them. Jennie Kim, the card reads, equally calligraphic in Hangul and English.

There’s an announcement of some kind, a muffled voice asking guests to take their seats quickly. Taehyung turns towards the entrance, his heart somewhere near his stomach and jerking uncomfortably, hoping to see Dilara and wondering if he can signal to her to meet him… his eyes dart around, a bit frantic. It takes him a moment to realise another familiar face is making its way… in his direction.

“Taehyung hyung.” Jungkook strides over and taps his shoulder, motioning for him to get up, stepping away from the table. Taehyung meets Jimin’s eyes briefly, who raises his eyebrows and shrugs.

“Yeah?”

Jungkook presses his tongue to his teeth. “Do you know -” He looks around and lowers his voice to a whisper, “- that your ex-girlfriend is here?”

“Yes,” he answers instantly. “And I can do you one better. Do you know where she’s -”

Jungkook interrupts him. “Does Dilara know?”

Taehyung stops abruptly. “Uh, yeah. I told her this morning. Or - I guess she already knew….” He trails off when he finally sees Dilara enter along with the last few guests, finding her table almost instantly. His shoulders relax when she catches his eye; he gives her the most subtle smile he can, knowing there are cameras around that could be capturing his any and every move. To his surprise and relief, she returns his look with a small smile. “Listen -”

“Holy shit,” whispers Jungkook, looking at something over Taehyung’s shoulder. He smiles briefly and gives a small wave before turning back to him. “She’s at your table?” he hisses through gritted teeth.

“Apparently. Look, it’s a coincidence from hell, but can you do me a favour? You and Lara are the same table - can you just tell her -”

“How?”

“How - what?” Taehyung frowns, realising by now that they are one of the few people still standing. “What do you think coincidence means? I didn’t have any part in this - but can you just please tell her that I’m sorry anyway? I’ll still text her, but… please.”

Jungkook, who seems to be regretting his momentary outburst, nods wordlessly before turning around and heading over to his table, sitting only one seat away from Dilara, both of them giving each other extremely perfunctory, polite camera-ready smiles of acknowledgement.

Taehyung tries, once more, to turn around and catch Dilara’s eye but when Jimin hisses his name under his breath, he’s forced to look ahead as the host arrives on stage. There’s some applause and introductory jokes being made; it’s not a lot he can do to avoid it, not when there are cameras around or when the seating arrangement is so awesomely fucked that the moment he turns his head even slightly to his right, he meets Jennie’s eyes.

“Hi,” she says quietly, giving him a formal sort of smile. “How are you?”

For a fleeting moment, he wonders if he can pretend to have not heard her. But even the thought is absurd. “I’m good,” he replies, nodding. “And you?”

She nods in response and the small talk comes to a natural end, at least for now. The event may as well be happening in French for all the focus that Taheyung devotes to it; choosing his moments, he tries to subtly turn his head to look back at Dilara’s table again. At one point, he sees her chatting with the person next to her, the captain of South Korea’s football team. It makes him feel slightly better that she has company; next to the footballer, Jungkook cranes his neck slightly towards them, as though trying to keep up with the conversation.

Somewhere during one of the musical performances, Taehyung feels his phone buzz. He opens it to see the group chat.

Namjoon [18:17] Taehyung. Cut it out.

Taehyung [18:18] What?

Namjoon [18:18] Turning around to look at Dilara. It’s very noticeable.

Taehyung [18:19] Shit. Sorry. How can you tell, though? Your table is in front of mine.

Hoseok [18:20] Because only Namjoon has figured out a way to turn around and look at something behind him without being obvious about it.

Taehyung [18:20] Sorry. A bit on edge.

Jimin [18:20] Lol. No surprise there.

Taehyung [18:20] Shut up. Can you tell if Dilara is looking?

Jimin [18:21] She isn’t. Jungkook is, though. Probably hasn’t checked his phone yet.

Seokjin [18:22] What is up with all the texts? I’m trying to take a nap.

Jimin [18:22] Taehyung is sitting next to Jennie while Dilara is at a different table.

Seokjin [18:22] What!

Taehyung [18:23] Not what it sounds like. Jesus. Our assigned seats are next to each other.

Hoseok [18:23] Dilara is going to kill you.

Taehyung [18:24] No, she isn’t. She’s not crazy - she knows this is out of my control.

Yoongi [18:25] Hell of a coincidence to be out of your control.

Seokjin [18:26] No kidding. This is k-drama level coincidental. Next thing you know, the camera pans to your mortal enemy slipping a wad of cash into a waiter’s hand.

Namjoon [18:27] We may be going off topic here. Taehyung - be careful, though. If anyone gets a single shot of you and Jennie sitting together, it’ll start rumours without a doubt again. And you know YG won’t deny them.

Taehyung pauses, for this hasn’t occurred to him. Not that it’s some kind of epiphany - rumours are a daily battle, almost - but today, Dilara has been his sole focus throughout.

He meant what he said: his girlfriend is a reasonable person who, despite some expected discomfort with the situation, is not the kind of filmy exaggeration they were hinting at. But the fact that this might make its way back to social media again, a year and a half after the world has lost interest, following Dilara wherever in the world she goes… he recalls the lowest points of their relationship, looks of heartbreak and betrayal that still haunt him to this day, and his throat feels momentarily tight.

Taehyung [18:28] I will deny them. You can be sure of that.

“Camera!”

Jennie’s voice hisses next to him, almost making him jump out of his skin. He slips his phone under his thigh in a swift movement, eyes ahead and immediately bopping his head to the music to avoid whatever rubbish headline the wrong picture could lead to: BTS V insults rookie girl group by checking phone during performance!

“Thanks,” he mutters, seeing her nod from the corner of his eye.

As the night progresses, Taehyung makes his attempts to look back at Dilara more subtle but no less frequent. He succeeds a couple of times, too, once even managing to make eye contact with her. Her expression is unreadable, though, and he begins wondering if this is truly bothering her, how much it is, and how there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it.

“Everything okay?”

“Mhm.”

It’s a break in the program, during which a few people are going back and forth to the rest rooms, getting their hair and make-up retouched and doing impromptu spot interviews. Taehyung and the rest of the group have been advised by the staff via text to not leave their seats; as he looks around, it seems as though most people are in a similar boat.

He turns around to look at Dilara, only to see her seat vacant and - to his surprise - Jungkook staring back at him, brows furrowed. He frowns curiously but the younger member looks away in an instant. Taehyung wonders briefly if he imagined it; raising his eyebrows and shrugging it off, he unlocks his phone.

Taehyung [19:00] Hey, love. I know this night probably isn’t what you had in mind after three weeks apart. It definitely isn’t mine. I promise I’ll make this trip worth it, though. I really missed you.

Biting his lip, he sends the message. He waits for a few seconds for a reply, turning around to check the door. She eventually returns, catching his eye and giving him the same small smile she’d given him at the beginning of the event, as though they were lounging around in his apartment instead. She says something to Jungkook when the anchor begins speaking again, signalling the end of the break.

Lara [19:02] Missed you too

Taehyung stares at the message, not sure what to make out of it. He’s sensing some distance from her; it’s not unexpected and he wishes more than anything that he’d been able to talk to her, just once, before everyone had taken their seats. He turns around briefly again, hoping Jungkook relayed his message to her.

“Shit,” Jennie mutters next to him. Catching his eye momentarily, she tilts her phone under the table towards him. Taehyung’s heart sinks at the picture, taken from a distance, of the two of them watching the stage, their heads tilted in the same angle.

It’s a normal picture, with at least ten other people in the same frame including Jimin; but the incriminating red circle drawn into the picture makes it clear what the focus is. The fact that it’s already on Instagram makes his stomach roll with worry and guilt, and he hopes, desperately hopes, that it won’t affect Dilara after all this time.

“Tabloids will start their thing,” she adds, shaking her head. “The company will be so annoyed. What about Big Hit?”

“I don’t know,” he replies truthfully, after a moment. He hasn’t thought about it; Namjoon mentioned it in caution and here he was, correct as usual. Big Hit would be annoyed; a recycled rumour, micro-expressions getting dissected and heartbroken fans spamming their social media - none of these were desired during an ongoing tour.

Taehyung knows it’s a headache and if not handled properly, could escalate. It could impact concert attendance, merchandise sales, fan-meets… but these are just words right now, swimming in his head in a faint voice that sounds like their manager’s. Bigger than all that, in the forefront of his mind is only Dilara, once again forced to remember the worst period of their relationship.

“I can’t believe this seating,” he mutters. “I thought the bigger the event, the more tuned in they would be to… stuff like this.” He gives her a sideways glance.

But Jennie gives him a small shake of the head. “I doubt it’s on purpose. I heard there was some confusion with the tables anyway… their system was down or something.”

“Feels irresponsible.” Then he sighs. “No offence.”

She half-chuckles under her breath and locks her phone. “None taken. It’s been over a year, anyway. I don’t think there’s a single person who remembers or cares about our fling anymore.”

It’s almost compulsive now; he turns around again. Dilara’s eyes are fixed on the stage, though, but he takes a moment to watch her anyway, feeling every variation of guilt and anxiety and adoration when he thinks of how her evening might be going.

“Is that Jungkook?” Jennie whispers next to him. “I should say hi later. Oh, I met the girl sitting next to - oh, shit.” She clicks her tongue softly in apparent recognition. “That’s where I know her from - she did the sportswear campaign for Calvin Klein last month. Dilara Komyshan, the race car driver,” she states. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognise her before - I must really need some sleep…”

There is something inexplicably strange about hearing Dilara’s name come out of Jennie’s mouth. He expects Dilara would find it even stranger; he bites his lip and faces the front again.

“… do you know her?”

Taehyung doesn’t respond, but evidently his silence and laser focus on the glass in front of him is enough explanation.

“Oh,” says Jennie softly, and Taehyung’s heart crumbles a little, suddenly horribly, terribly afraid that everything would be ruined again.

The performance on the stage ends and there’s applause. Taehyung claps automatically, without feeling. Next to him, Jennie turns her head slightly towards him.

“I only met her for a minute… but she seems really sweet. And very pretty.” She gives him a small smile. “Lucky guy.”

—

When the event ends and the anchor announces the dinner being hosted in the hotel restaurant, everyone begins heading out of the marquee and back down the carpet. There are some quick interviews and pictures, mostly of celebrities ducking into cars and leaving. Taehyung hopes he can skip the dinner - or at least make an appearance, have half a drink and be done with it.

Namjoon [19:50]

Group vlive in 20. Yoongi’s room.

He closes his eyes; the last thing he feels like doing is pretending to be chipper for a camera, while staff members stand behind it and cue reactions out of them. But the message is in the group chat, meaning the set-up is probably already done, and any interaction with Dilara will unfortunately have to wait.

Taehyung could yell; it’s bad enough that this weekend threw this unnecessary curveball at them but the constant interruptions are getting on his nerves. The impending rumours, the company’s reaction (fuck the company, he thinks irritably), the faraway tables - anything and everything under the sun to try and distract him from the only thing he cares about.

He doesn’t want to drop her another text to tell her about his plans; he has to meet Dilara now, actually be face to face, see her, hold her hand and talk to her before he does anything else, even if it’s only for a few seconds.

Taehyung [19:53] Hey. Where are you?

He waits a minute but she doesn’t respond. Unwilling to wait, he starts to call her when he finally spots her across the room, standing with three other people, all of them listening to a tall Caucasian and vaguely familiar man in a suit. Dilara has a glass of champagne in her hand and is a complete knockout; elegant in a short cream dress, she reduces him to staring for a good few seconds before he remembers where he is.

Almost as though she’s heard him, her eyes flicker a bit and meet his. His heart skips a beat; as he steps forward, she gives him that same small smile and shakes her head infinitesimally. She slips her phone out of her small clutch and turns away to type, a few seconds before his phone buzzes.

Lara [19:55] Have to stay for dinner. Meet you upstairs later. xo

The disappointment starts to settle into his stomach but he steels himself; they’re both working and if she says she’ll see him upstairs, then there’s nothing much else he can do except hope that her nonchalant demeanour isn’t a facade she’s putting up for him.

The vlive is a chaotic one for which Taehyung is glad; he’s preoccupied but there’s enough happening without the focus landing on him. Seokjin and Yoongi, both of whom managed to worm their way out of attending the event, are still at the hotel, the only two in t-shirts and joggers. Taehyung checks his phone constantly, wondering when Dilara will be back, only occasionally smiling and throwing in a comment here and there so he can’t be accused of slacking off.

“Alright, have a good one.” Namjoon waves and heads towards his room on the other side of Yoongi’s. Waving back, Jungkook and Taehyung head towards theirs, a two bedroom suite they’re sharing with Jimin, conveniently to allow for Dilara to stay over.

“What a fuckall night,” mutters Taehyung, kicking off his shoes by the front door and shrugging off his linen jacket. He checks his phone again: no new messages.

“What were you thinking?”

Taehyung opens the mini fridge and takes out a small bottle of whiskey and a cold bottle of water. “About what?” he asks without looking up, mixing himself a drink.

“You know what.” Jungkook says no more until Taehyung finally turns to look at him, frowning. “You were sitting with - with Jennie. All night.” He shakes his head. “Come on - you have to know what that looked like.”

Taehyung scoffs. “I don’t care what social media thinks. They overanalyse everything to death, anyway.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Not them. I’m talking about Dilara.”

His heart jerks momentarily. “Did she say something?”

“She - she didn’t have to,” he stutters. He looks quite nervous. “I could see her face - she was sitting right next to me.”

Taehyung raises his eyebrows and takes a sip of his drink. “And what did her face look like?” he asks deliberately, for the accusatory note in Jungkook’s voice is now unmistakeable.

“I - well, she looked… not happy,” he answers lamely, rubbing the back of his neck. While Taehyung’s gaze is fixed on him, Jungkook’s keeps flickering away. “She kept looking over at you two and… I mean, it’s obvious, right? Of course she wouldn’t like it.”

“She would also know, though, that it was a coincidence,” he retorts, calm yet unable to keep the bite out of his words. “And that I definitely didn’t know about it - which, by the way, I asked you to tell her. Did you?”

Jungkook hesitates. “Of course, I did. I’m just saying… you could’ve done something. You were talking to Jennie. Out, in the open with, like, no problem.”

“We were in public. What was I supposed to do? Ignore her when she spoke to me? Create a scene and ask to be moved to a different table?” Taehyung scoffs and shakes his head. “Yeah, that would’ve turned out great.”

“That’s not the point. It’s not fair to -”

“How is it not the point? This situation was out of my control. I was texting Dilara the whole time - and she was responding. And she didn’t sound half as pissed off as you do,” he points out. “Why do you even care so much?”

“Because I made her a promise!” Jungkook blurts out, his ears turning red, eyes big and troubled.

“You made her a promise? What - today?”

“No, last year. Before you two got back together,” he says in a smaller voice, and Taehyung’s stomach drops. “I promised her I’d tell her if you ever did anything like that again.”

Taehyung is silent. The drink feels heavy in his hand but he doesn’t move. It feels strange, like a shift in the paradigm of his relationships, as though a glass wall has been lifted and they’re all further away than he thought.

Jungkook seems to have realised the implication of his words. “Not that… I thought you would ever do that again.” He sounds like he’s about to say more but stops abruptly.

It stings. The long days and nights spent atoning for what he’d done, the hopelessness at the end of every day in Europe that he’d probably lost her for good, all stacked against the voices of his friends telling him, convincing him he wasn’t a bad person and that if he tried, if he truly tried and stayed and loved, he would be worthy of a second chance.

As it turns out, they weren’t sure either. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He wonders if Dilara still thinks that, and feels his vision blur momentarily.

He clears his throat, slowly meeting Jungkook’s eyes. “Anything else?” he asks. “Since you made her a promise?”

“Taehyung hyung…”

But Taehyung continues staring him down, unmoving until Jungkook sighs.

“No,” he says quietly.

Taehyung nods and finishes the remainder of his drink. Without another word, he places the glass on the table and heads into his room, leaving Jungkook outside.

—

The dinner goes on longer than Dilara would have liked, but the CEO of Tag Heuer, Red Bull’s biggest sponsor, is not a guest she could have avoided face time with. Christian had even taken the trouble to drop her a message (Try to get a picture with Frederic for the PR team), so her options were fairly limited.

Using the spare room key Taehyung had sneaked her during a brief, five second long interaction this afternoon, she enters the suite and goes straight into the room with the door closed. It’s empty at first glance, but the faint scent of nicotine directs her to the balcony.

Taehyung is sitting on the cushioned bench, still in the shirt and trousers he was wearing for the event, looking slightly ruffled and smoking a cigarette. Dilara stops at the doorway and leans against it, stepping out of her heels and closing her eyes against the breeze.

“How was the dinner?” he asks after a few seconds.

“Boring,” she answers. She opens her eyes to see him still looking out of the balcony. “How was your night?”

He simply shrugs. “I’m sorry about the… the tables and the seating,” he says after a moment, finally looking up at her. “I don’t know how that happened.”

Dilara bites her lip. There’s a choice she can make now, and the second option can probably lead to salvaging the remainder of the night. But something about how he’s sitting, some distance away and instantly apologising, makes her go with the first.

“Well… if you can believe it…” She sighs and looks at the ground, suddenly a bit embarrassed to be saying it out loud, “it may not have been… a total coincidence.”

Taehyung frowns slightly at her and when she raises her eyebrows, silently asking him to understand without her having to say it, he scoffs lightly.

“Really?” His voice is soft, but the surprise is clear. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” she mutters. “You’d be surprised how lax the organisers were with information like this. Leaving open laptops around and venting to strangers…” She rolls her eyes.

He chuckles again softly. He takes a drag and flicks some ash from the cigarette, looking down, his smile fading before he speaks again. “Why?” he asks.

Dilara hesitates, her heart clenching slightly. “I’m not sure,” she admits. “I guess I just wanted to see…” She pictures the earlier hours of the evening, seeing her boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend sitting next to each other, but doesn’t feel the familiar anger or betrayal anymore. In fact, she struggles to feel anything at all. “I don’t know,” she finishes.

Taehyung nods slowly but says nothing. He finishes his cigarette and takes a deep breath.

“Are you angry?” she asks.

Still looking out, he pokes his tongue into his cheek. “I don’t think I can be,” he says carefully.

Dilara swallows. “I suppose that’s true,” she agrees, a little defensively.

“How did I do, though?”

“What do you mean?”

Taehyung turns to her, finally. “I mean… I’m guessing it was some kind of a test.” He shrugs. “How did I do? Did I pass?”

Dilara holds his gaze, realising with a slightly pang that it’s the first time they’ve spoken this long since this morning. “With flying colours,” she says softly.

If he’s surprised, he doesn’t show it. There’s a flicker in his eyes, probably of relief, before he looks away. Dilara knows with certainty, though, in this moment, that he really did pass whatever subconscious evaluation she had been putting him through.

Every single interaction she had spotted between him and Jennie, every quiet bit of small talk, artfully ignoring cameras, looking beautifully bored at an event that was far too long for everyone - it all came to a head in her mind. Dilara remembers exes she cares about, those she hates and those she is indifferent to. Today, despite Jennie being sat next to him and remaining truly and impossibly good-looking, Taehyung treated her like he would have anyone else in her place.

“Maybe I should’ve told you,” she muses, only half-intending to say it out loud.

“Wouldn’t have been much of a test if you had.” He tilts his head at her and tries to force a small smile, and she wonders if he seems sad.

“It wasn’t meant to be… a test like that. You don’t know what it’s like,” she adds in a smaller voice, feeling defensive again. “I was caught off guard and… it was a spur-of-the-moment thing.”

He nods. “I understand.”

Dilara bites her lip. “I trust you,” she murmurs.

Taehyung says nothing at first; she knows how her words probably sound. “Thanks,” he says finally, very quietly, before looking back ahead. “You may want to let Jungkook know that, though.”

Dilara frowns at this unexpected segue. She wonders briefly if it’s a joke she isn’t getting. “Why would I let Jungkook know?” she starts to ask, but Taehyung beats her to it.

“I know I’m not really in a position to ask you anything, but can I anyway?” He waits for Dilara, still confused, to nod. “You have every right to be angry with me,” he says, “but if you are… can you please talk to me about it?”

She frowns; somewhere, her heart begins to race as she senses her control on the situation slipping. “I didn’t say anything to Jungkook,” she clarifies. “Not about this.”

Taehyung stares at her and her heart slows a bit as he registers her words, internalising them. He finally looks away and Dilara takes it to mean he believes her.

“Why would you even think that?” she asks. “Wait - did he say something to you?”

But Taehyung simply shakes his head and stands up. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He stops next to her on his way inside and touches her elbow. “I really am sorry.”

Dilara gazes up at him, even the slightest touch making her skin tingle. But something about the way he’s standing before her, apologetic almost by default, makes her heart ache.

“For what?” she asks. “You didn’t do anything.”

He shrugs, not meeting her eyes. “Just… everything. I’m sorry.”

Dilara is sure she’s lost count of the number of times he’s said this to her, and it hits her now, during the one time he probably doesn’t need to.

“I’m going to take a shower and go to bed, okay?” Hesitating for a fraction of a second, he kisses her cheek and brushes past her, going straight into the bathroom.

Dilara stays rooted in the same spot for a few minutes, feeling confused and awful. This hadn’t turned out at all the way she had hoped. She had been on her way here, feeling unexpectedly light and almost proud that she’d found a way to get a nagging question out of her head. But something has gone wrong, or fallen out of place, and she’s searching for it blind.

Opting to give him some space, she trudges out to the living room. Curling up on the sofa, still in her dress and make-up, she closes her eyes and wishes the night would end. She’s polishing off a bottle of water from the mini fridge a few minutes later to avoid a hangover when the other bedroom opens.

“Hey.” Jungkook, in track pants and nothing else, looks surprised to see her. “Just came to get my charger.”

Dilara, with her mouth full of water, gives him a tilt of her chin in response, barely looking up. The tiredness of the day has caught up with her, along with the emotional toll, and she rests her head against the side of the sofa and exhales. Taehyung is out of the shower by now, for the sound of the water running stopped nearly ten minutes ago, but Dilara isn’t sure she should go inside yet. There’s a bit of misplaced guilt in her, anger at the guilt, annoyance at the anger, and a craving for a cigarette she hasn’t felt in a long while.

“Everything okay?”

She jumps slightly, having almost forgotten Jungkook was here. She hums listlessly in response, seeing him shuffle towards his room from the corner of her eye.

“Are you sure?”

“Did you say something to Taehyung?”

Jungkook pauses, but doesn’t look altogether surprised at her question. He glances at the floor and bites his lip. “I didn’t mean to… be so harsh, I guess. But I thought someone should say something.”

“About what?” she asks immediately, sitting up. “And what do you mean by someone? You mean someone other than me?”

“No! I just… I thought you looked kind of pissed off - which would make sense,” he adds quickly.

“Jungkook -” Dilara starts, then sighs and shakes her head, not sure where to begin. She can’t fathom what he might have said to Taehyung, but it’s becoming clear now that it’s most likely the cause for his distant demeanour.

“Look, I wouldn’t have said anything, but I felt like I had to,” explains Junkook, his voice low. “I promised you I would.”

“What are you talking about?” Dilara frowns, bewildered. He doesn’t answer, his shoulders falling slightly. A moment later, it comes back to her: a hotel room, a video game, and Jungkook learning the word insurance. “Right.” She sighs. “Jungkook… this is not what I meant. You don’t have to get involved in our - in our stuff. Okay? And you definitely don’t have to speak for me.”

He bites his lip and nods. “I was going to talk to him tomorrow anyway,” he mutters.

It does little to make Dilara feel better. He’s still not meeting her eyes, but Dilara wishes he would, because he needs to understand this. She waits until he looks up at her, hesitant and abashed.

“He’s your friend,” she reminds him. “He’s your friend.”

Jungkook’s eyes shutter over. He pokes his tongue into his cheek, suddenly reminiscent of Taehyung, and looks away.

Dilara sighs, regretting her choice of words immediately. “That’s not what I -” But she can’t get into this right now. Shaking her head, she goes back into her bedroom and shuts the door behind her.

The room is dark but the moonlight from the closed balcony is light enough. Taehyung is in bed; Dilara scrutinises his face from where she’s standing, unable to tell if he’s really asleep or simply pretending. She heads into the bathroom and unzips her dress, stepping out of the pool of fabric and leaving it there on the ground. She picks up a faded t-shirt hanging on one of the hooks in the bathroom and slips it on, wrapping the comforting cotton around herself for a moment and inhaling it, before taking off her make-up and brushing her teeth.

Once she’s done, Dilara goes over to the empty side of the bed, pausing at the edge. If he’s angry, he’s forgiven her. She knows he has, just as she knows he will concede to her every single time when it comes to this issue, no matter his own feelings. It disappoints her a bit, although she doesn’t know what or who exactly she’s disappointed in.

She climbs onto the bed and inside the covers lightly, moving to lie beside him. He’s on his side, facing her, with a hand tucked under his cheek; she shifts to mirror him. Even in his sleep, he is so handsome that it takes her breath away. The moonlight softens his features slightly; Dilara touches his cheek with the tips of her fingers, somewhat glad he’s asleep, for she doesn’t know what she would say if he was awake.

It’s too tiring to think about it, though; the long flight she took to get here to Incheon feels like ages ago. She tilts her head up slightly and kisses his nose softly, waiting to see if he’ll wake up. When he doesn’t, she lowers her hand and turns around, closing her eyes and hoping for sleep to end this night.

A few moments later, his arm comes around her waist and pulls her close.

—

Thank you for reading. Don't forget to leave a review :)

#taehyung x oc #taehyung fanfic #thebtswritersclub #bangtanwhq #k-vanity #taehyung angst #jungkook angst

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sambuckyhalloweenbingo · 5 months ago

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The SamBucky Halloween Bingo 2024

Hey! It's almost the spooky season, and as such, it's time for the SamBucky Halloween Bingo! From October 1st to November 7th, we will be reblogging and sharing the work you guys create here on our blog.

You can post fanfiction, art, fic rec lists, comments, moodboards, podfics, edits, etc. It’ll be a low-stakes event. No need to sign up. Just remember to tag @sambuckyhalloweenbingo in your post for each fill, and we will be tracking #sbhalloween2024 for reblogs.

If you are posting on AO3, please add it to the SamBucky Halloween Bingo 2024 Collection.

The Bingo Card:

FAQ

What is this?

It’s a SamBucky bingo event.

Is there any pressure?

No pressure at all. Fill one prompt. Fill all the prompts on every bingo card. Do however many you please.

Can I fill more than one prompt with one piece of art/one fic?

Yes! You can fill one prompt with one piece of art or fic. You can try to fill all nine prompts on the card at once with one piece of art or fic. If you can fill every single prompt from every single bingo card in one fill, that’d be wild but it’s okay by the rules. You can do any number in between.

Are there any prizes for making anything for this event?

Just the satisfaction that you made something cool.

Is it just SamBucky?

Yes please, just SamBucky. There can be side ships, but the main ship should be SamBucky.

How long will this event run?

It will run from October 1st and run until November 7th.

I heard there are badges I can use for each fill?

There are! Here they are:

RULES AND GUIDELINES

What are the guidelines for the bingo?

I will be borrowing some of this from the MYSU Valentine’s Day Bingo 2022 Guidelines, since they were fantastic.

For Everyone:

1. Remember to tag @sambuckyhalloweenbingo in the post as well as #sbhalloween2024.

2. Please also tag the prompt you’re filling (for instance, if the square is “Costume”, use “#costume” as one of your tags when posting about it on Tumblr).

3. If you’re uploading to AO3, please:

a ) Say somewhere which prompt you’re filling.

b ) Add it to the SamBucky Halloween Bingo 2024 Collection (SamBucky_Halloween_Bingo_2024).

For Artists:

1. Create at least one piece of new art that can’t have been posted anywhere else before this.

2. All visual art forms are welcome:

a ) Gifsets or photosets, at least 3 gifs or photos.

b ) Aesthetic boards or moodboards, at least 4 images each.

c ) Drawing/painting, that is not a sketch.

d) Fan video.

e) Graphics edit.

For Authors:

1. At least 500 words.

2. Posted on Tumblr or AO3.

3. Can be part of a series, but should work as a standalone.

For Podficcers:

1. The podfic should at least be 5 minutes long.

2. It should be posted on either Tumblr or AO3.

3. The podfic can be of a fic made for the event, a fic not made for the event while still adhering to the prompt, or a notfic.

For Fic Rec Lists:

1. You must have at least three fics or podfics on the rec list.

2. Make sure to give brief descriptions of the fics or podfics as well as their rating and wordcount.

For Commenters:

1. Any amount of comment counts, from a heart emoji (“❤️”) to an essay.

2. We would rather this be about what makes you happy and joyful about reading than any scathing critiques.

Things to be mindful of when creating:

For Sam

Avoid framing Sam only as a caretaker or emotional support for Bucky. Be mindful of Sam acting angry or aggressive in an out-of-character way and falling into the angry/sassy Black man trope (check out the MCU source material to help with character traits).

Avoid decentering Sam as a main character and refrain from focusing entirely on Bucky.

In art: avoid whitewashing Sam’s skin and research drawing Black characters.

General disclaimer: Race affects every aspect of his life, including interacting with police/government and the white structures of the world when it comes to performing his duties as Cap and simply being a Black man that lives in the U.S.

For Bucky

Avoid phrasing “flesh/normal/human hand” to refer to the contrast between his prosthetic arm and his right arm. The phrasing is ableist. You can simply refer to his prosthesis when relevant, otherwise use “right/left arm/hand”.

For more information, please check out this document suggested by @ninesdb on how to write Bucky as an amputee. @ninesdb is also open to questions if you have any queries not answered by the google doc.

Specific Tags:

Avoid tags in AO3 like “Sam Wilson is a Gift”, “Sam Wilson is a Saint”, and “Bucky Needs a Hug”.

Have fun and we look forward to your Halloween Bingo fics!

#sbhalloween2024 #sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky fics #sambucky art #sambucky edits #sambucky events #halloween events

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lawbreaker13 · 2 years ago

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There’s something about Elemental that I love but I can’t quite seem to articulate.

[Spoilers by the way]

At the end of the movie, Ember and Wade leave together so Ember can take her internship at the glass company. This is supposedly a full time thing for her, which means she’s moving. Like yeah, she underestimates herself like “oh it probably won’t go anywhere and I’ll be back home soon,” but that’s a very “ooh this is a big step and I don’t feel ready to move out” mentality (literally told my parents I’d be back at the end of my first year’s lease, it’s just a mental safety net, but boy was that a relatable line for me). Regardless of her lack of confidence in herself and this potential new job, she is moving out. And Wade is going with her.

She had said “I want to travel the world with you.” That’s great, and I hope they do, but that’s not what’s happening here. It’s said that this is several months, maybe even a year after the main events of the movie. The majority of the movie itself spans a couple weeks or so (edit: I counted, it’s about 8-12 days). So by the time they leave for Ember’s internship, Ember and Wade have been dating for a while. Anywhere between three months and a year. Wade is leaving with her, and it’s difficult for me to believe they’re going anywhere but the same place. Which means they’re moving in together.

Now I know that it sounds like I’m just freaking out and being incoherent about a ship, but the truth of the matter is, that’s really mature of Pixar.

Family friendly and kid-centric animation tends not to push anything but the “fall in love, kiss, get married, move in, have babies” pipeline. But what I loved about Elemental was that it portrayed a REALISTIC, HEALTHY, and MATURE relationship. One where the couple has arguments about real things that matter and after space, they talk it out. One where “I don’t understand” isn’t an invitation to shut down (even if Ember meant it that way in the heat of the moment), but an invitation to try and learn. One where anger and “I’m leaving” can be met with “I’m coming with you,” and one where the couple doesn’t just love each other right off the bat, they have to DATE MANY TIMES AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER, SEE EACH OTHER IN THE WORST OF TIMES, and THEN, realize they’re in love. AND they said it out loud, which doesn’t happen often either (edit: I am well aware that a week or two is a very short amount of time to fall in love, but I’m gonna cut them A LITTLE slack because it’s not like. 3 days, and also they seemingly saw each other every single day for those couple weeks and had the months after that. It’s rare, but sometimes, when you know, you know).

But beyond that. Beyond dating, getting to know each other, communicating and helping each other out, and deciding “yes, we can and should be together,” Elemental showed these two doing an adult thing together—leaving home and moving out. Because they are ADULTS. And the fact that I felt like this movie was targeted towards me and my peers the same way a PG-13 or R rated movie might be, strictly because of the realism in the character’s interactions and dynamic, that is something that I absolutely adore. Like, Zootopia was a kid’s movie with mature themes. Miraculous is a kid’s show with mature themes. Even Avatar: The Last Airbender was clearly targeted towards children, even though we all know it has something for everyone.

But Puss in Boots: The Last Wish. The Spider-Verse movies. And honestly, Elemental. These feel like our movies. Movies I’m glad the kids can enjoy, but they’re made for us. The 20- and 30-year-olds.

I’m just so happy to see animation studios treating adult characters like real people. Maybe soon people will start to recognize animation as a legitimate form of storytelling, too.

I loved Elemental. I really did.

#AND THAT’S MY RANT #Elemental #Wade Ripple #Ember Lumen #Animation #Animated movies #Animated shows #Elemental Pixar #Miraculous Ladybug #Puss in Boots The Last Wish #Avatar the Last Airbender #Into the Spider Verse #Across the Spider Verse #Pixar #Rant #Mine

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rampagingfanfictioner14 · 3 months ago

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relativity falls, but...

i've got a relativity falls brainworm. hear me out if u wish :D

relativity falls basically swaps the mystery twins (i.e. dipper and mabel) with the pines twins (or stans; i.e. Stanley and Stanford), right? Other characters like fiddleford and soos get swapped around too, but the main focus is the Pines.

so, imagine a relativity falls where dipper and mabel never had the chance to learn all the lessons they learnt during their summer in Gravity Falls. Mabel would never get over her fear of the future, or of Dipper leaving her. Dipper in turn would never understand the true meaning of trusting someone, or the importance of family, over everything else. They would never have a Stan and Ford as examples of what they shouldn't do, and they'd be stuck in Piedmont with their arguing parents --- parents, mind you, who argue so intensely that it gives Dipper nightmares.

Let me remind you that this kid survived an entire apocalypse, got thrown off a cliff, nearly died (multiple times!) and got possessed by a demon with powers and motives far beyond his comprehension, yet out of all these traumas, the one that hits the hardest is of his own parents. Whatever Dipper and Mabel's parents have got going on, it's inching into 'divorce' territory.

Everything might turn out well enough in canon, because it's 2012 and no one cares if a couple decides to split up, but it's not so great in the 1960s, which is when Relativity Falls-Dipper-and-Mabel are from. Not just because of prejudice and stigma, but also because it's a lot harder to raise a kid by yourself than it is with a partner, especially in an era where a woman couldn't do much without the permission of her husband (like open bank accounts).

What does this mean for the au, though? It means that Dipper and Mabel couldn't escape anywhere for the summer, no Mystery Shack, no Grunkle Stan or Soos or anyone to seek comfort or stability from (unless you count Shermie, but considering that their parents would rather send them to a great uncle they've never met than their own grandfather means that either he's dead or incapacitated in some other way).

Imagine Dipper and Mabel stuck in the house, possibly hiding under the bed or trying to distract themselves from the arguments going on downstairs. Imagine Mabel trying to sing or talk loud enough to block them out, or Dipper daydreaming about ways that they could leave the house for good (were they strongly attached to their parents? probably not. These two spent three months at their great uncle's house and not once mentioned them apart from one stray letter from Mabel --- not even during an apocalypse, which would literally be the best scenario for a kid to miss their parents).

Basically, just imagine Dipper and Mabel taking care of each other when it seems like their whole world is falling apart, because who else could they rely on? Who else could they possibly choose in the lowest points of their life, other than their own twin?

And sure, this behaviour between the two probably continues for most of their childhood.

But then comes high school.

Neither Dipper nor Mabel referenced any friends back in Piedmont. Candy and Grenda were the only people that Mabel ever called "best friends", and she never sent any letters or postcards back to any other friends she might've had there. Heck, just hanging around Dipper probably shot her social status to the lowest possible point, but she doesn't care, because he's her baby brother and she'd much rather take him than anything the popular life in school could offer. Point is, Relativity Falls-Mabel never had a Candy or Grenda, because she never went to Gravity Falls for the summer. She is inexperienced with having any real friends other than her twin brother.

One eventful summer, just before the start of high school, the twins' parents seem to momentarily get over themselves and book a trip to the beach for a few weeks or so. Mabel has a short-lived romance with a merman named Mermando (to whom Dipper was, at first, very sceptical about). The trio eventually form a friendship, however, and promise to meet each other every so often. This is when Dipper truly becomes interested in anomalous phenomena. He wonders that if mermaids/mermen are real, does that mean Atlantis is too? What about ghosts? Zombies? Fairies?

The trip goes well, all in all. Their parents may avoid each other, but at least they're not fighting.

...The truce comes to a crashing halt when they return home, but hey, at least they had a small bout of peace and quiet.

Dipper knows what he wants to do with his life now. Study weirdness with his twin sister, living together and having adventures every day. Mabel supports this idea, citing that they should go find Atlantis as their first big adventure. Living in Piedmont (which was partly rural in the 1960s, as far as my Australian brain knows from a short and unclear Google search), they don't really have the chance to have a Stan O' War or big adventures on the beach. Weirdness doesn't tend to stick to suburbs, but the two try to find stuff anyway. Maybe they end up finding a rogue gnome or a bunch of ghosts in the local cemetery. Maybe they spend hours frolicking around fields of grass and rolling down hills and whatnot.

When high school arrives, Dipper sees a great opportunity. If he could utilize his smarts, bring home grades that were practically teetering on the level of too high, then he and Mabel could leave the house. They'd go to a good place far away, maybe back to the beach, and live together and go on adventures and possibly find Atlantis for real. He throws himself into studying to carve the best possible life for him and his twin sister (he's kinda like Stan in that way: always thinking of Mabel before himself).

---But in doing so, he buries his nose into books and papers and other school stuff, and spends practically all day holed up in the school library. When he returns home he's tired and spent, and usually just keeps studying and studying without a thought on the potential health risks, before leaving again at dawn the next day.

He believes it's for the greater good of them both, but he neglects their mutually-reliant relationship in favour of a better future.

At first, Mabel tries to go with it, really. She becomes Dipper's rock, pulling him back when he pushes himself too hard, forcing him to eat and properly sleep. She's silly and funny and stops him from becoming all gloomy and sad during those times when their parents can't seem to stop screaming at each other. She tries to look over his homework and see if he's having trouble, but she can't for the life of her understand what the heck he's working on.

As their final year of high school approaches, Dipper knows that he has to go all in. Eventually Dipper stops coming home entirely, turning up just before dinner or even sometimes skipping it. He either goes to the public library after school or periodically forgets to go to their mutual lunch table and actually eat, but his grades are consistently off-the-charts, because he knows he has to keep going for Mabel.

And while this is great for Dipper and his vision of the future, Mabel... doesn't see things the same way. She dislikes how studying has taken hold of her brother's life, and the way that he disappears for hours on end places her directly in the path of bearing the brunt of their emotional trauma from their parents. She becomes less cheerful and begins to foster an irrational fear of the future, where she believes her brother will leave her behind in favour of studying all those weird creatures he was so obsessed with.

She becomes vulnerable, and a particular group of predatory teenagers... pounce.

With Dipper mostly absent from her life, she is approached by a group of popular kids who, for all intents and purposes, appear to be genuinely looking out for her. For the first time in her life, Mabel can actually interact with people her age without the looming shadow of her brother's general social allergy over her head. She becomes friends, regains her cheeriness and is able to move past her trauma, because now she actually has people to share it with, not just a twin brother who's suddenly started practically disappearing from their home.

It starts off slowly, but those teens begin to make off-handed comments about her brother. Small things, at first, like how he's ridiculously smart, how he's going to be very successful. Mabel wholeheartedly agrees, of course, and doesn't think much of it.

The comments escalate after a few weeks. Stuff like how geniuses like Dipper didn't need anyone, how their intellect would carry them far and how could someone like Mabel hope to compare, really?

Basically, they feed into her innermost insecurities. They isolate her from her family and her twin brother (not that he made it hard). They tell her that Dipper doesn't need anyone, doesn't need Mabel, and the only way to make something of herself is to do favours for them, and maybe they'd help her in return.

Mabel, having being fed lies for the better part of her last years of high school and not having any healthy friendships to compare, believes them. She falls in with the "wrong crowd", so to speak, but doesn't realize what's going on. Sometimes she delivers strange packets to other high school students or other shady stuff, but the teens help her catch her brother after school and they spend time with her, so maybe it was worth it in the end. Other times she wonders what she's doing, and tries to peek at the contents of the bags, only for the teens to find out and threaten to end their friendship, citing that "true friends trusted each other" and that Mabel "needed them".

Mabel, in her poor, desperate attempt to have someone to talk to, begs for forgiveness and vows never to doubt them again.

And then the science fair happens.

Dipper creates a perpetual motion machine and, for the first time, is so excited that he can't focus on his studies. He's won plenty of competitions over the years, but this is the one that could possibly guarantee them a ride out of Piedmont, so he's very meticulous in the preparation for the machine's reveal. The principal calls him into his office and Mabel lingers outside, hearing how the scouts of a prestigious college (West Coast Tech) were coming to see Dipper's project tomorrow. Their parents, for once, seem to come to an agreement: Dipper was brilliant. Possibly brilliant enough to rival world pioneers.

And then they argued whether who he took after, and how once he'd made millions, he'd support them more than the other, because of course they were the favourite--- as expected, anyway. Dipper's somewhat surprised that they remembered to show up to the meeting in the first place. He'd take anything he could get, at this point.

But something niggles at the back of his mind.

Dipper interrupts as the principal waxes poetic about his project and inquires about Mabel. The principal waves him off, saying that at this rate, the girl would be lucky to find a waitressing job nearby, much less a full ride to a prestigious college.

Mabel, eavesdropping outside, immediately becomes upset and runs off, not hearing the way that Dipper defended her, because of course he would. In the end, Dipper storms off, saying that he'll just have to take her along with him, then.

He later shares his plans with Mabel and blabbers on about how the great the perpetual motion machine was, how it was the crowning achievement of his efforts to get them away from their parents, but all Mabel hears is the thundering of her heart, panicking at the thought of Dipper leaving her behind (and yes, it's irrational, but remember, she's been in a toxic relationship with several people who cracked open her small insecurities into gaping wounds, that neither of them acknowledged or sought to heal).

Mabel seeks out the teenagers and does a few more deals with them, begging them to do something that changed the course of their lives, because to her, it's getting increasingly clear that Dipper's going to leave and she's powerless to stop him.

The teenagers toy with her for a bit, but concede. They break into the science fair room and trash the project, but not before leaving a pack of glitter sprinkled over the broken thing, just to mess with Mabel and Dipper's relationship a little more.

Of course, Dipper doesn't take that realization well when he shows up the next morning and stares at a ruined machine, glitter coating it inside and out. He's devastated, but also angry that Mabel would ruin their only chance to get away from Piedmont, and doesn't understand why she would do such a thing.

He confronts her about it and she admits to breaking it. She could never blame the teens, of course, but especially not when she'd asked them to do the deed.

Dipper tries to understand, but his anger gets the better of him and they devolve into a shouting match. They never did learn how to communicate properly. He says some things he normally wouldn't, and Mabel does the same. It's a frightening parallel of their parents, and it ends up with Mabel running away from home as a last ditch defense mechanism (just like she did in Dipper & Mabel VS the Future).

(Welp, that's all I have energy to write today. Prolly will make a Part 2 of this tmrw). Hope it was somewhat in character? Idk. Might write a full-fledged fanfic on this later.

BTW, major thing here: this is just what I think of Relativity Falls. I don't own the idea, nor do I own the characters. I'm just a person who overthinks on the lives of fictional characters. Also someone who has semi-unwillingly started down an unending spiral of Gravity Falls brainworms that refuse to leave unless I write those suckers down.

Part 2 is up!

#relativity falls au #gravity falls #dipper pines #mabel pines #mystery twins #wordvomit fr #my take on relativity falls #might be ooc #might not #idk

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natalyarose · 9 months ago

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𝐸𝓂𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒮𝑜𝓁𝒶𝓇 𝐸𝓃𝑒𝓇𝑔𝓎 𝒾𝓃 𝒩𝑜𝒹𝒶𝓁 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓈 🌼🌞✨🍯

In the world of Vedic astrologers, there is a lot of remark about how in the age of the internet, rapid technological advancements, idols, overstimulation, 'fake news', and trend cycles as fast as lightning, we are living in times very influenced by nodal energy. Or at least, nodal (particularly Rahuvian) aspects of reality are increasingly 'in your face', accessible... If we take the concept of trends to be a very nodal phenomena for instance: throughout most of history, trends were not something you could observe so blatantly the way we do now.

A 'trend' was more likely to last an entire generation, and without the constant access to the past, present and future of the entire world that the internet now provides, you wouldn't even realise it's a trend. One would simply consider it 'normal'. People were not as aware of what the 'elites' are up to, what happens in other countries, mass information leakage etc. you are busy carrying your own burdens, and reaping your own joys, in your own bubble.

In older times, it's as simple as- the life you're born into is the life you focus on & work on UNLESS you are in a position of power (Solar energy) & therefore dealing more with the people at large & distant lands. Even still, your main focus is on your own kingdom/village/tribe. The average person is not going to really know what's going on in faraway places the way we now do. Sure, this nodal, constant consumption element of reality still existed, but it was less 'in your face'.

These days we have our 'black mirrors' (phones, laptops, etc) and they exist as a portal into- anywhere we desire. Lives & realities that don't even necessarily relate to our own. The need to be consciously aware of this is crucial in order to find the balance necessary.

Currently, everything is moving so fast, and there are constant forms of stimulation, movement, illusions and streams of consciousness to get lost in. So many rabbit holes to fall down without you even realising it that will drain & alienate you from your Solar energy.

Getting lost in trends and the lives of other people that in the physical realm, do not directly touch your own life, can be extremely draining to us. In an abstract way, this gives us insight into why it is that so many people feel depressed- lost, like the world is grey... there is constant fog, smoke & mirrors attempting to block our internal Sun, our personal unique destiny & divinity.

Ironically, I tend to think that the reason we're collectively so divided & lonely lately (there's many reasons, but in the way of esoteric takes), is the lack of Solar energy. People talk about how this society is missing the honouring of feminine (Lunar) energy, which is true- but only because of the lack of healthy Solar energy to support it.

I mean, a material manifestation of this is the.. beyond concerning (and somehow, rarely talked about?) statistics on the sperm count dropping. According to various scientific studies, we're looking at roughly a 50% decrease over 50 years... that's just- wow.

Another of many material manifestations of the way true Solar energy is becoming rarer/obscured: lately, the average suburban city is removing structures (Solar) & facilities people usually go to socialise and have fun- bars, clubs, cinemas, skate parks, venues hosting of events & festivals. Yes, the actual social aspect is more of a Lunar energy, but the Solar aspects (ie. the structures, the organised events, the provided food, etc) are the container for that Lunar energy to fall upon. For socialisation, intimacy, raw emotion & connection to exist healthily, we need some kind of structure, some Solar goodness to go off of so we're not just- floating entities in space talking to other floating entities in space about nothing in particular.

Yes, Solar energy speaks of individuality, paving your own path, ego, sense of self- but here's the thing. If we lack sense of self, how can we connect with people? How can we feel unity if there's no 'self' in the first place? How can we connect and share with people if we feel we have nothing to offer and we're all regurgitating the same stuff- there's no reason to talk or connect if everybody seems to be just.. lacking substance, robotic, or a void

Solar energy is our ego, our happiness, our light. It represents that substance. Someone speaking from a place of Solar light is tapping into a place of authenticity & experience, whereas when we are lost in nodal energies; we are moreso becoming a conduit for other people's ideas and thoughts we've heard about, forgetting our own footing in reality.

I feel like- no, I've seen- time and time again how this current society can delude us into believing that the way to leave your mark on the world & make the world a better place, is to get lost in others. To always be in the know, informed and on trend when it comes to everything outside of yourself. It feels like we are being taught that if we aren't carrying the weight of the whooole world on our shoulders, we are selfish or living under a rock.

On the one hand, it is definitely important that we have some sort of a spiritual awareness of what's going on in the lives of others (be it friends, relatives, or people in other countries) but on the other hand, this constant focus on other people takes away from you having the chance to make a true difference and BE a beacon of light.

Sometimes I see something dark on the news, very dark.. I'm in tears, I'm anxious, I'm asking the heavens why these things happen... how is it fair? I'm praying, I'm sucked in and can't look away from what I'm seeing because it feels like I have a duty to at least witness the suffering if others have to go through it. There have been times it's just debilitated me; until I realised something-

I am worth more to the world, the people suffering included, by focusing on fostering beauty, joy & goodness in my own life. I'm not helping the world by crying in my bed unable to feed or take care of myself because I'm distraught about something I saw on my phone. It's only impairing my ability to remain in a high vibrational state that I can create & share with the world from. People who truly make a difference are often the ones who either innately embody or have cultivated a very Solar nature- 'water off a ducks back'. It shouldn't be about ignoring or suppressing emotions, so much as using emotion wisely.

This doesn't mean it is best to completely ignore the world or be cold or 'heartless', but moreso that you need to be holding a torch for yourself in order to even begin to light the way for others. Those who are suffering generally do not want others to suffer for them (especially if they can't physically do anything to help)- that only creates... more suffering. I know in times of my own suffering, not once did I think 'damn, I wish someone was as sad and destitute as me' lol

I thought 'man, I really would love to be around people & circumstances that are positive, uplifting & nourishing so that I can feel that warmth again'.

If every single person in the world was utterly debilitated and absorbed in other realities, other people's lives, neglecting their own 'karma' & their own blessings, who would be there for people to look to for hope? Who would be the blueprint for what happiness actually looks like? In a world without strong, solar entities, who can those who are suffering look up to to imagine a better life?

Fill your own cup first!

Sometimes the best thing you can do for the world, is to manifest your own beautiful, magical, pure life- whatever that means for YOU. Build your own foundation so that you can be an inspiration & comfort for those who need it, while being stable and strong within your own being.

A lighthouse doesn't go out to sea and get into the storm with the ships. It doesn't go chasing the ships down to save them. It simply stays where it is, strong, radiating light and indiscriminate- unconcerned with who 'gets' the light. Trusting that the universe is working its magic and the right people are benefiting from your radiance. That is what staying true to yourself & your own unique destiny looks like.

I see too many people (myself included, but working on it..) with bleeding hearts. Completely lost and overwhelmed by the struggles, thoughts, opinions, beliefs & chaos of others, feeling as though they can't just sit and watch, they have to do something about it. Or if they can't do something about it, they have to at least feel it, delve into all that emotion. Instead of being the lighthouse and realising that nurturing yourself = raising the vibration of the world, which = one more person living in truth & happiness for others to look up to- they are missing that opportunity and becoming drained/psychologically in pain.

Do what makes you happy. It's so simple, yet so.. not! It's a skill, and it takes discipline & sometimes what feels like active rebellion in order to refrain from abandoning yourself and getting lost in something or someone else; whether that thing is positive or negative... 🌸

Very long story short - the most helpful gift you can give to the world, is your joy & faith in your own destiny.

To anyone who read all this, have a beautiful day and if you can, go do something fun lol, or create something ♡

note: I just want to make sure it's clear that I'm not saying nodes = bad & Sun = good or anything like that! Every planet, every celestial force plays an important role in life on Earth and the nodes have their own magic too. This post is just talking about the importance of staying in touch with your Solar light rather than getting completely and utterly lost in the pull of the nodes. I also want to add that of course sometimes there are unique occasions, where plunging into the darkness with somebody else is exactly what you need to do- but if that's the case, that'll be a part of your 'destiny', so even still you will be embodying your light if that makes sense. Never abandon your light.

#vedic astrology #nakshatras #astrology #rahu #ketu #nodes #sun #solar #vedic astro observations #vedic astro notes #aesthetic #sidereal astrology #astro notes #esoteric

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tightjeansjavi · 1 year ago

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Slow Hands | Chapter 4

“I used to float, now I just fall down”

A/N: so I already forewarned that this was going to be a particularly heavy chapter. I also just want to say that I don’t claim to be a medical expert on the effects trauma can have on a person. I also do not self diagnose, but I did a lot of research on the reasoning behind why Beanie doesn’t have any recollection of what happened to her. I specifically researched‘dissociative amnesia’ caused by trauma. Some of the symptoms may include a person forgetting part or all of the traumatic event, and having a ‘foggy’ memory of trauma, or feeling like ‘it didn’t happen to you.’ However, even if you are unable to recall specific details, your body still does which would explain Beanie’s flight or fight response to specific sounds. Depending on the person, your body may associate certain sounds, sights, and smells to a specific traumatic event. Thank you for reading 🤎

~word count: 4.1k~

Pairing | Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: while on patrol, Tommy and Joel make a gruesome discovery.

Warnings: disturbing/distressing themes that may be harmful to some viewers. Please do not read if this kind of content upsets you. Violence, dead bodies, talk of the past, mention of murder, mentions of guns, mentions of chains, implied S/A by raiders, women held captive, trauma, trauma triggers, PTSD, possible diagnosis of dissociative amnesia (I do not claim to be an expert and just did some heavy research to make it accurately depicted in the story), protective! Joel, Beanie dissociates on her rooftop, implied suicidal thoughts, implied depression, isolation, some fluff towards the end, Joel is incredibly gentle with beanie, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions, readers nickname is beanie (coffee beans) +18, minors dni! Please heed the warnings!

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“What the hell do ya mean she doesn’t know what fuckin’ happened to herself? What does that even mean,Tommy?!” Joel was visibly frustrated, confused, and bewildered. His mind was already running circles as he tried to piece together what he knew about you. He was desperate to grasp some context clues that would ultimately lead to a conclusion as to what had happened to you. He gently pulled back on his horse's reins between a cluster of snow dusted evergreens.

Tommy, however, kept his horse moving and this frustrated Joel even further.

“Don’t you fuckin’ walk away from me like you’re deaf or somethin’ ,Tommy!”

The younger Miller brother cursed under his breath as he halted his horse a few strides ahead of Joel. Both brothers were deathly silent. Tommy rolled his shoulders, appearing to try and relieve some stress and tension that was building up. He gently pulled the inside rein towards his torso as he turned his horse around. “Would you fuckin’ keep your goddamn voice down? This is exactly why I don’t want to discuss this with you, Joel.”

“You think I give a damn? What, you just expect me to go ‘bout my business when she crumbled into my arms this morning?’ Tommy, you know me, you know I ain’t gonna let this go.” Joel’s tone was far softer now. His frustrations were still simmering below the surface like that of a once dormant volcano that was gradually becoming active once more.

“Look, Maria and I have our own assumptions about what happened to her. When we found her..she was in pretty fuckin’ rough shape. She was most likely traveling for days without food or water Joel. She was barely breathin’, and for a moment we thought she was long gone.”

“Well, that ain’t all surprising..considerin’ we’re livin’ in an apocalypse Tommy.” Joel fought the urge to scoff under his breath. Tommy wasn’t giving him a straight answer and he wasn’t having any of it.

“That ain’t the fuckin’ point, Joel. Maria..she found somethin’ on her.” Tommy trailed off as he focused anywhere but his brother’s face.

“Tommy, what the hell did she find? Spit it out, or so help me god–” He nearly growled out as his jaw clenched harshly under the pale white moonlight.

“Someone tried to fuckin’ carve her up. That’s what.” Tommy deadpanned.

“what?” Joel could feel the bile rise in his throat at this newfound utterly disturbing information. His pupils were blown wide and an unsettling chill rolled down his spine.

“You fuckin’ heard me. Some sick fucks tried to carve her up. Maria and I both think it was raiders.”

“..like us?” Joel’s question hung heavy in the air as both Miller brothers slowly looked over at one another. There was nothing for them to hide. They had both done unspeakable things to countless people. Some people deserved it..others? Not so much. Joel knew it would be impossible for him to wipe all of his sins and carnage completely clean. His moral compass had been skewed after Sarah died. His actions were fueled by rage and indescribable pain. But even though he was a murderer, and he,Tommy, and Tess committed heinous crimes together, even they had their limits.

“No, Joel. Not like us. We didn’t fuckin’ carve people up.” Tommy shook his head with a heavy sigh. Maria didn’t know half of the shit he had done to survive, and he hoped to god she would never find out.

“No, you’re right. We didn’t carve people up, but we did some terrible fuckin’ things, Tommy.” There was a heaviness in Joel’s voice that lingered in the frosty air.

“Yeah, we did. Endure and survive, right?” Tommy responded with a bitter laugh that slowly crept up his throat.

“So, when you say that they tried to carve her up..”

“Maria found a knife wound that pretty much wraps all the way up her torso and back. It was, and is gruesome.”

“Fuck.” Joel breathed out a puff of air as his heart began to hang heavy in his chest. “She doesn’t remember any of it?”

“No. We actually had Doc check her out after we brought her in, and he thinks she might have dissociative amnesia. He said it’s commonly found in patients that have dealt with an excessive form of trauma. Essentially, her brain is blocking out certain events to protect itself. He of course doesn’t know for sure, but that’s the best explanation he could give as to why she has a foggy memory of what happened to her. He also..thinks there’s a chance that she was heavily drugged for an extended period of time, which could have also led to her memory essentially being botched. That wasn’t..all that Doc found. He also said that after doing a full body exam–”

Joel cut him off immediately like a sharp knife slicing through a hunk of meat. “Stop. Not another word, Tommy. Not another fuckin’ word.” Joel whispered harshly under his breath. He could only imagine the hell you went through. God help those motherfuckers if he ever got his hands on them.

“All this is to say that she may never fully recover those memories. Frankly? It’s probably for the best. I’m entrustin’ you with this information, Joel. And I need you to promise me that you’re not going to go and ask her questions. I need you to bite your fuckin’ tongue on this one. Alright? Jus’ be her friend. Jus’ be there for her.”

Joel wanted to laugh. He wanted to bitterly laugh and shake his fists to the heavens above because how in the hell was he supposed to just deal with the guilt of having some form of knowledge on what happened to you. How was he supposed to look you in the eyes without imagining the horrors that you faced? How was he supposed to pretend?

“Tommy, you know I can’t–”

“I don’t give a damn on what you think you can’t do, Joel. I’m not about to let you or anyone for that matter go and traumatize that poor woman even more. Maria started treatin’ her different than everyone else at one point, and Beanie came to me one day and wanted to know why. I had to sit down with Maria and practically beg her to just treat her like a normal person. Folks ‘round here either think she’s the nutty coffee woman, or some fragile piece of china that is gonna shatter at any minute. She ain’t either of those things, but hey, I guess even an apocalypse can’t stop people from havin’ their judgements.”

“For the record, Tommy, I don’t think she’s either of those things either. Quirky? Sure. She’s better than half the folks in town. That is for damn certain.”

“Exactly. So just treat her like a normal person. Don’t go and try to be her savior either. She ain’t need savin. She just needs a friendly face that understands her.”

“I have a friendly face?” Joel murmured with a soft chuckle to alleviate the tension.

“Hardly, big brother.” Tommy softly joked back.

“So, just so I got this all straight, Doc said that he thinks she might have..dissociative amnesia..but then what about her triggers? Does he know about her episodes? Cus’ she looked at me like I was gonna fuckin’ hurt her. If her brain is tryin’ to block out the trauma..her body is still actively experiencing it?” Joel asked as he gently nudged his horse’s side to walk forward.

“Y’know how you have your own triggers? I’m thinkin’ that she does as well. However, hers are most likely associated with noise. When we first brought her in we had her stay at our place for awhile..and there was one mornin’ I was up early putzin’ around the kitchen and I guess the sound of a pan clatterin’ in the sink freaked her out. She kept tellin’ Maria someone was out to get her, but when Maria asked who, she couldn’t answer.”

“Well..that explains what happened this mornin.’ I jus’ uh—wanted to do somethin’ nice for her so I was shovelin’ her walkway. Maybe the sound of the shovel scrapin’ on the concrete triggered her?”

“Well, chivalry ain’t dead. That’s for damn sure. Yeah, I’m sure it triggered her flight or fight response. She wasn’t logically able to decipher what the noise actually was. Y’know, I'm pretty sure Doc has some books on this stuff if you wanna read up on it.”

Joel was just about to respond when his horse let out a nervous snort and pawed at the ground with his hoof. Horses were incredibly intuitive creatures. They could sense danger from a mile away.

Both Tommy and Joel were already grasping their rifles in a fight response. There was a drifting odor of smoke from a fire..at first Joel thought it was just a typical wood burning fire, until the putrid stench of rotting flesh hit his olfactory senses and it brought him right back to living in the QZ. His eyes watered, and his lungs burned. No doubt in his mind that there was a raider camp nearby.

“We should turn back right fuckin’ now Joel. We should go find the others—” Tommy hissed under his breath.

“No. We’re gonna go investigate. Lucas and Cody probably already detected the smoke as well. This ain’t the first time you and I have gone into somethin’ together. You cover me, and I’ll cover you. Deal?” It was incredible how fast Joel was able to switch back into survival mode. It was embedded deep within his bones, and it didn’t take much for it to be clawing right through his skin. He had been the hunter, more times than he had been the prey.

“If we’re outnumbered, then we split. Got it?” Tommy wasn’t about to go and risk his life tonight.

“Got it.” Joel agreed.

The raiders camp was only a few miles to the east from Jackson. The smoke was billowing high in the air as Joel and Tommy used the snowy evergreens as cover. They had since dismounted from their horses and continued on foot. The camp they stumbled upon was freshly abandoned..but why keep the fire going? Was the first thought that crossed both Joel and Tommy’s minds. They had the barrel of their rifles aimed at the ready as they cautiously crept through the camp. The smell of rotting flesh only began to intensify as they neared the source of the fire.

What they stumbled upon was nothing short of gruesome. Five bodies in total stacked upon chopped down logs. It was difficult to make out facial features, as the deceased bodies were charred to a crisp. One thing was for certain, these people were not infected.

“Were they killed for sport?” Tommy questioned as Joel slowly crouched down next to a body that wasn’t as scorched completely. He could make out feminine features and long follicles of hair. He could feel the bile churn deep in the pit of his stomach as he looked away and pressed his face into the collar of his jacket to try and block out the smell. “These are women, Tommy. Five of ‘em. All dead.”

“Jesus fuck. What the hell happened here?” Lucas and Cody had smelled the fire as well. They were in utter disbelief as they approached the slow burning fire.

“Raiders.” Joel muttered under his breath as he slowly stood back up. His knees cracked from the movement as he grinded his teeth together to block out the uncomfortable tightness in his back.

“Were they infected?” Lucas had asked.

“No. They were just..people.” Tommy somberly confirmed.

Silence washed over the four men as they retreated from the fire. Joel kicked at a pair of heavy chains that laid upon the ground with his boot. “These women were prisoners.”

“We need to put this fire out, and then report back to Maria immediately. She’s goin’ to want to hear about this, and I already know she ain’t gonna be happy.” Tommy muttered as he slung his rifle strap along his shoulder.

“Tommy, we can’t just leave them here. They deserve a proper burial. They deserve to be laid to rest..” Joel couldn’t help but wonder how long these five women were enslaved. Could they have been saved if the patrol group had left earlier? Five lives could have been saved if only he had just—

“Joel, I hear you brother, but the ground is too hard. We can’t bury them. I’m sorry.” Tommy was sorry. These five women deserved better. He wanted to be able to bring them peace as well, but some things were just not possible.

“Fine. I’ll fuckin’ do it myself.” Joel snapped as he slung his rifle strap over his shoulder in one swift movement. He started the trek back to his horse while Lucas and Cody kicked a bit of snow over the dying embers.

Joel returned with a blanket from his saddle bag. He was going to attempt to move the bodies, but he was afraid that their charred bones would shatter. Instead he gently laid the blanket over their remains. He stood there for a good solid five minutes just staring down at the snow covered earth with a clenched jaw, before he finally walked away.

For the entirety of the somber ride back to Jackson, Joel was dead silent.

It had felt like months had passed since you had last seen Joel Miller. In all actuality, it had only been one month. Your brain was just going all doomsday mode on you and convincing you it had been longer. At first you had tricked yourself in believing that maybe Joel didn’t actually want to be your friend. Maybe he was just lying. Maybe he too thought of you as just the nutty coffee woman. It wasn’t till Maria had given you a surprise visit to your little coffee shop. While she was quietly sipping on her latte, you couldn’t help but ask if she had seen Joel lately. You felt slightly pathetic with a sprinkle of naivety. Were you really that desperate for human connection?

“I assigned him, Tommy and a few other men to patrol the late night shift. They stumbled upon something in the woods, and brought it to my attention. Now, before you start freaking out, we are safe here. What they found was just concerning, and they’re making sure that there is no active threat that we need to pay any concern to.”

You paused the movements of the towel below your palm as you were wiping down the countertop. “Oh. I thought maybe he just..nevermind. What exactly did they find in the woods that was concerning, Maria?”

“Beanie, you know I can’t disclose that to you. All I need you to remember is that you're safe. That’s why we have patrol parties. They keep everyone in the commune safe. I just figured you were deserving to know that Joel hasn’t been blowin’ you off for the past month. Him and Tommy are resting in the morning after patrolling all night. It shouldn’t be an issue now that the weather is starting to shift. Usually means that people are movin’ on as resources will be plentiful again.”

You let out a sigh as you crossed your arms over your chest. It did feel silly in some way that you let your brain convince you that Joel was in fact blowing you off. “Yeah.” You mumbled under your breath. “I know why you can’t disclose that information to me.”

“You’ll see him in a few weeks, Beanie. Don’t worry.” Maria reassured you.

By the time that you did see Joel again, winter wasn’t quite ready to release her icy grip around the earth. She was going to cling on just a bit longer. It was late at night and to put it simply? You were having a rough time. Spending the majority of your day alone was beginning to close in around you. The thoughts were growing louder and louder, and the nightmares you had begun to experience were the same sequence over and over like a vicious cycle that you were sucked down into, unable to escape its painful clutches. That's how you found yourself sitting alone on your roof. Your bedroom window was opened just enough that you were able to climb out onto the roof tiles. You were shivering at first, trembling as your teeth rattled against your jaw. Soon enough, the nipping chill didn’t feel as painful. A peaceful numbness washed over you as if you were in a trance.

Joel had just gotten back from being on patrol. He stopped at the stables to untack his horse, Tex and then he was heading home. He passed by your house every night, and he would stop at your front gate, debate seeing if you were awake, before he would ultimately decide going straight home was easier. On this particular night he was torn from his path home. All because he swore he saw a shadowy figure sitting on your rooftop. He thought maybe his own mind was playing tricks on him until he stepped closer to your house. He was then able to make out a human shape sitting upon the roof tiles. He didn’t even have to guess hard if it was you sitting up there. He just knew.

He called your name, and you didn’t budge a smidge.

“For fuck sakes.” He muttered under his breath as he cupped his hands on either side of his face and yelled your name once more. “BEANIE!” This time his baritone voice broke through the figurative icy shell that was wrapped around you like a cloak. You finally looked down, squinting through the vast darkness.

“Woman is gonna fuckin’ freeze to death out here. Fuck. What the hell is she doin’ up there anyway?!?” He muttered to himself as he pushed open your gate. “I’m comin’ up!” He yelled from the top step of your front porch.

Joel?

The sounds of his heavy boot steps descending up your staircase sounded muffle to your ears as you slowly dropped your chin to rest along your kneecap.

“Jesus fuck, Beanie. What the hell are you doin’ out here?” Joel harshly whispered as he pushed open your bedroom door. He had genuine concern stricken through his hardened features.

“Sitting outside on the roof.” You murmured.

“Yeah, ya don’t say? I can see that you’re sittin’ on the roof, but its fuckin’ freezin’ out here. Why don’t ya have a jacket? A blanket? Beanie, you’re gonna fuckin’ freeze to death out here.” He was already slipping his own jacket off of his shoulders and gently placing it along your shoulders as he carefully climbed through the window and onto the roof beside you.

“I don’t really feel the cold anymore, Joel.” There was a lack of emotion in your tone as your eyes slowly flitted over to him.

“Fuck. Well, that ain’t good either, darlin.’”

“I just..needed to breathe. I felt like I was suffocating in there.”

“Somethin’ happen? How long..have you been feelin’ this way Beanie?” Joel asked you softly as he met your soft gaze.

“I don’t know. A while?”

Joel sighed as he rested his weight back on his palms. “Well, I've felt that way before too. Numerous times actually. I’ll have these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere, and…my heart feels like it’s stopped.” He softly admitted.

“Like…you can’t breathe?”

“Yeah, like there’s water in my lungs instead of oxygen. Like i’m drownin’ and no matter how hard I swim, I can’t make it to the surface.” He murmured.

“Like..the darkness is closing in? Swallowing you whole?”

“Yeah, but that’s why you gotta look for the light. When you're lost in the darkness, look for the light.”

Joel’s words hung heavy in the air as you both sat in silence, looking up at the vast array of stars that were outshone by the brilliant pale white moon. Shining like a beacon in the inky black sky.

“Joel?” You asked through the growing silence.

“Hm darlin?’”

“Joel, what keeps you moving forward?”

Joel didn’t even have to give a single thought to your question. He already knew the answer. It was family. Family was the one thing that kept moving him forward in this new life.

“Family. You keep goin’ for family.” He confirmed as he watched the way you absentmindedly scratched at your arm, wiggled your nose as you let out a puff of icy air. “I don’t have any family.”

“That ain’t true at all. We’re friends, you and I. Friends can be family. What about Maria and Tommy? Wouldn’t you consider them to be your family as well?” Joel was looking straight into your eyes now as he softly spoke.

“You..consider me to be your family?”

“Darlin’, absolutely I do. You are my family. Why do you think I'm up here with ya right now?”

“To keep me from freezing to death?”

“Well, yes. But also because..I like spendin’ time with you. You think I'd come up here if I didn’t care about ya? I got a bad back and knees, darlin.’ One fatal slip off here and I'm toast.” He stifled a chuckle as his hand was now resting close to your own along the roof tiles

“Please, don’t fall.” Your pinky slowly looped around his.

“I ain’t gonna fall, dontcha worry.”

“Well, for the record, I'm glad you came up here.” There was a ghost of a smile on your lips as you looked over at him once more.

“Me too.” He gave your pinky a gentle squeeze. “Hey, if ya want..maybe you can go spend some time with Dina and Ellie? Help out around the stables? I know they can always use an extra set of hands.” He softly suggested.

“I guess I could do that, huh? I could use some more fresh air and I do like to see the horses.”

“Well, there ya go darlin.’ Sounds like you got it all figured out. I just know they’ll also appreciate seein’ another friendly face. Ellie ain’t got many friends either beside Dina and Jesse. I uh—think you’ll get along really well.”

“Joel?..” you asked as your cheek came to rest along his covered shoulder.

His heart skipped a beat as he did his best to not move and disturb you.

“Yeah Beanie?” He gently asked.

“Thank you.”

“What are ya thankin’ me for?” He asked as he cleared his throat under his breath.

“For being my friend.”

His heart had nearly just gone and burst right out of his chest as the frigid air turned the tips of his cheeks and nose bright red. He was secretly thankful that it was far too dark for you to detect the blush rising on his skin.

“You’re welcome darlin.’”

The sun was just beginning to peek above the horizon when Joel had finally convinced you to go back inside. He was genuinely concerned that parts of your body were frozen. Despite his aching back, and tired joints, he stayed with you until he felt like you were safe. His eyelids were beginning to droop as he rested his palm along his chin. His head bobbed as he struggled to stay awake. You were busy making a fresh pot of coffee and homemade cinnamon rolls, and you didn’t see his slumped form until you had turned around.

“Fiddlesticks,” you softly murmured as you set your bowl down and attended to his side. You gently shook his shoulder a few times before he was startled awake.

“Hey, how about you go and lay down on the couch? Rest up before you head home?”

You didn’t have to ask him twice as he slowly pulled himself up from the kitchen chair and trudged into the family room. You followed him shortly after and grabbed the thick quilt from alongside the couch and draped it over his sleeping frame. His arms were crossed over his chest as he snored softly through his much deserved slumber.

When he awoke hours later, there was a mug of coffee on the coffee table next to the couch along with a freshly baked cinnamon roll. Under the plate there was a scribbled note that read, Went to go see Dina and Ellie at the stables. Make yourself at home. -Beanie

He carefully tucked the note into his flannel pocket as he sat up. He took a hefty swig from the mug of coffee before he picked up the cinnamon roll. It smelled heavenly. With just the right amount of cinnamon and vanilla as the icing slowly oozed down the sides of his fingers. His first bite nearly had him moaning from the sugary taste. He devoured the entire thing, before drifting right back off to sleep with his arms wrapped tightly around the quilt that you had laid on him.

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louloulover · 4 months ago

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✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:𝑀𝑜𝒹𝑒𝓁 𝐹𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝒟𝓇༉‧₊˚.

.・。.・゜✭・❤𝐸𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓈 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝑒✫・゜・。.

⋆୨୧⋆ Who doesn't want to be the center of attention? heels clicking down the runway. Camera's flashing as you enter. Making small vlogs of everything happening. So today I have made a Model Fame Dr for the kid in me who always adored fashion.

⋆୨୧⋆ Honestly there is a lot to do for the Fame Dr then I realized, so this might be a lengthy one but I hope this can also help others getting into Fame Dr's. As I want everyone to have the best experience's possible! ♥

｡･:*:･ﾟ❤ 𝓘𝓷𝓯𝓸 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓶𝓮 ｡･:*:･ﾟ❤

˚ ༘❀ I am a well known Model, I make vlogs and comfort videos on Youtube. I Model for high end companies, or I do shows I feel like I want to be in.

˚ ༘♥ I make videos of vlogs behind the scenes, traveling, anything cute really. (of course aesthetically pleasing videos) probably some witchy stuff too.

˚ · • . ° .⋆ ★𝓢/𝓞 : ???

currently undecided, i'll decide if I even want to be with anyone when I go.

♡. Scripting .♡

❥ 𝖬𝗈𝖽𝖾𝗅 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝖾

♥ I am the main event, I am what everyone comes to see.

♥ My makeup always comes out perfect, although my natural face already is.

♥ I have a very iconic sexy cat walk that everyone recognizes.

♥ I don't mess up my walk at all, everything goes perfectly.

♥ I can model/walk in difficult shoes, all shoes are comfortable.

♥ I never fall/trip or even mess up at shows, walks, or anywhere important.

♥ Pieces I wear are always the best. (or just beautiful in general)

♥ I look good in any piece of clothing even a trash bag.

♥ There is no specific weight/height/body

♥ Projects I participate in are always successful

♥ I am not camera shy, I am very confident doing any pose/runway

♥ Camera flash/Microphones don't disturb me

♥ Edit's are always amazing, so many about me. being made constantly.

♥ Interviews aren't scary, I know what to say and be hot doing so

♥ Vogue videos of me do very good.

♥ I'm always perfect at getting the best angles, all pictures come out the best.

♥ I can pose, it's never awkward

♥ My community is friendly and drama free. My community is huge. Very supportive of me

♥ People who work for me are always honest and loyal. (counting people who do your makeover, and clothing)

♥ My followers are always active on my content and are positive.

♥ No hateful stuff about my videos, or me in general.

♥ I'm invited to award/galas/premieres/parties that I want to go to. !I'm always on time!

♥ Agency's want me to model for them, I can accept which ever one i want to do at the time.

♥ I don't have to wait in line for work. I can choose whatever i want to do.

❥ 𝖥𝗂𝗅𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗏𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌

❀ People love my videos, it always gets lots of attraction (positive)

❀ Filming is easy for me.

❀ I'm not scared to film in public

❀ I'm immune to demonetizing/strikes/bans

❥ 𝖯𝖾𝗈𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗋𝗎𝗅𝖾𝗌

★ No stalkers, or crazy people.

★ Paparazzies are respectful, and respect boundaries (honestly aren't crazy at all)

★ No one can hack into any of my accounts, families, friends.

★ Anything i want to be private stays private.

★ When I'm ''in disguise'' I don't get recognized, same for my friends.

★ I don't get hate, neither does my family.

★My family can't get stalkers/crazy people.

If anything else, please comment! I would love to add it on here.

Of course I'm posting this after watch Victoria's Secret live. omg I'm so happy.

#reality shifting #shifting #shifting community #shifting motivation #desired reality #shiftblr #shifting blog #shifters #shiftinconsciousness

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sageryuri · 10 months ago

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CARNELIAN, PARK SUNGHOON.

pairing park sunghoon + fem!reader.

genre frenemies, tension, suggestive.

summary working undercover at the same event as park sunghoon gets you riled up enough, but it makes it even worse when he tries to sabotage you in the worse way possible.

word count 1.1k

warnings sunghoon is an ass and is really touchy, drug mentions.

an the new you love is still shocking to me

"Your target is Oh Seolhyun, CEO of Dawn Corporations. She's been up to some pretty shady shit, using her company building as some drug cartel. Heaps of cocaine, marijuana, heroine- you name it, she's probably selling it." Your assistant's voice buzzes through your ear piece, reminding you of the main aim of your mission.

You make your way into the event's primary room, filled with hundreds of people wearing expensive jewellery and appropriate attire that you would likely be unable to fathom the price of.

"You know, you don't speak very professionally when you're explaining these things to me." You whisper under your breath, eyeing around to make sure no one had been watching you.

Unhappily, you pull at the edge of your tight red dress as it begins to bunch up, trying your best not to itch at your neck as the carnelian necklace lays heavy. You roll your eyes when an older man looks you up and down as you walk the corridor.

"I don't see the need to, would you rather I acted like we weren't friends? I feel like you need a sweet, familiar voice considering Park will be prowling around looking for his next meal- which will be you." Minho replies and you can see his stupid smirk in your head.

To say you and Park Sunghoon had a strange past would be a severe understatement. After an horrific first (and last) date, the two of you decided you could never like each other even as friends and parted ways.

However, as the universe has to ruin your life you a slight bit every couple of months, Sunghoon ended up being part of another company similar to yours, where you weren't exactly enemies but weren't friends either — having the same objectives, but wanting your own recognition without the other.

They loved to put you in the same room as him and you're sure Minho had some input.

"That freak of a man won't be putting his hands anywhere near me, I've got better things to focus on. Can you stop distracting me now?" You growl, then reaching the archway that leads to the main hall.

"Getting all hot and bothered thinking about him?" You decide to ignore him, walking out into the crowd without a reply. He chuckles, moving on from bothering you, "Oh Seolhyun should be wandering around, talking with clients. All you need to do is get on her good side so we can eventually get some solid proof and get Dawn shut down."

You nod to yourself, keeping a keen eye on everyone in the room. Most appear just as cautious as you, eyes moving between people everywhere. If this wasn't suspicious, you aren't sure what else would be.

Just to make matters worse, Sunghoon is scouting around in a well fit tuxedo with a dark red tie and a carnelian bracelet; exactly the same colour as your dress and necklace.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." You groan, hands flying to your face in distress at this new information. Angrily, you hang onto the bridge of your nose before moving on around the room to try and avoid the gaze of Sunghoon, you wanted to pass this day without having to talk to him.

Eventually, your eyes land on your target. She stands with a flowing dark blue dress, dyed blonde hair falling curled over her shoulders. Her eyes stay sultry as she talks with an older man, hand coming up her body to play with the ends of her hair.

"God, no wonder her company is so successful. Pervs everywhere, should have worn a longer dress." Your words are directed at yourself after developing a habit of forgetting Minho is right in your earhole and is listening to every word you're saying.

"Yeah, sorry about the dress. I tried to get a longer one." Minho speaks, making you jump slightly at the sound of his voice, "The Sunghoon match was not intentional."

Choosing to ignore him (because you don't believe it wasn't intentional for a second), you come to the conclusion you have to start getting closer to Seolhyun soon; but nothing can ever be easy.

"Well, don't you look ravishing." Sunghoon's smooth, but irritating, voice speaks in a hush tone next to your ear as he stands behind you, one hand resting softly on your waist, "I might just forget about the mission all together with you around, all matchy matchy with me."

"Hands off, Park. You should keep your eyes on her, not me." You nod your head towards your common target, trying your hardest to pretend there is a lack of tingling and heat where Sunghoon's hand pressed on you.

You allow yourself to let out a deep yet timid breath when he finally pulls himself away from your body. Angrily, you turn around and come face to face with his annoyingly gorgeous face. He smirks, eyes trailing up your body, stopping at your neck for a second before landing on your face.

In embarrassment, you turn off your ear piece so Minho can't tease you later.

"We could just forget about the whole mission for a few minutes, you're looking too pretty to let go." He states, his eyes filled with only lust, you push him back with your hands on his chest to prevent him from getting closer to you, as if he could.

"You have no decency do you? You'd kill to get your hands on me, and I still wouldn't let you." You snap, eyes glaring right through him, but he only laughs at your strong attempt of intimidation and murmurs 'cute' under his breath.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, sweetheart." He's leaning into you again, a hand on your back, and you dislike how you don't feel urge to push him away, wanting to relish in the moment instead, "You're letting me do it right now, aren't you? If I wanted, I could pull you out of here, take you on a nice date then fuck you like I should have all that time ago."

"Don't you think your time has passed? Bet you could barely get me to cum." You surprise yourself with your response, becoming increasingly glad you had disconnected your earpiece. Sunghoon seemed to have this effect on you.

"If you give me the chance, I'll have your eyes rolling back and your legs shaking, won't even want to leave because I'd treat you so, so well." He emphasises, eyes darkening. When his hand drops lower to grope you, it's where you come to your senses and remember where you are and what you were doing.

“You’ll have to try a lot harder than that.” You respond, dragging yourself away from him and going ahead with your mission, wanting to ignore the want in your body.

#enhypen x reader #enha x reader #sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon x reader #enhypen fanfic #enha fanfic #sunghoon fanfic #park sunghoon fanfic #enhypen oneshot #enha oneshot #sunghoon oneshot #park sunghoon oneshot

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sambuckylibrary · 3 months ago

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SamBucky Seasonal Bingo 2024

The @sambuckylibrary will be holding a Seasonal Bingo! The event will start on December 1st and run until January 15th. During that time, we will be reblogging and sharing the work you guys create here on our blog.

You can post fanfiction, art, fic rec lists, comments, moodboards, podfics, edits, etc. It’ll be a low-stakes event. No need to sign up. Just remember to tag @sambuckylibrary in your post for each fill, and we will be tracking #sbseasonalbingo2024 for reblogs.

If you are posting on AO3, please add it to the SamBucky Seasonal Bingo 2024 Collection.

The Bingo Cards are:

There are also badges for each fill. For those badges, as well as the FAQ and rules, check the information under “keep reading”.

FAQ

What is this?

It’s a SamBucky bingo event.

Is there any pressure?

No pressure at all. Fill one prompt. Fill all the prompts on every bingo card. Do however many you please.

Can I fill more than one prompt with one piece of art/one fic?

Are there any prizes for making anything for this event?

Just the satisfaction that you made something cool.

Is it just SamBucky?

Yes please, just SamBucky. There can be side ships, but the main ship should be SamBucky.

How long will this event run?

It will run from December 1st and run until January 15th.

I heard there are badges I can use for each fill?

There are! Here they are:

1) Family Bingo Badges

2) Romance Bingo Badges

3) Mission Bingo Badges

RULES AND GUIDELINES

What are the guidelines for the bingo?

I will be borrowing some of this from the MYSU Valentine’s Day Bingo 2022 Guidelines, since they were fantastic.

For Everyone:

1. Remember to @sambuckylibrary in the post as well as #sbseasonalbingo2024.

2. Please also tag the prompt you’re filling (for instance, if the square is “Redwing”, use “#redwing” as one of your tags when posting about it on Tumblr).

3. If you’re uploading to AO3, please:

a ) Say somewhere which prompt you’re filling.

b ) Add it to SamBucky Seasonal Bingo 2024 (SamBucky_Seasonal_Bingo_2024).

For Artists:

1. Create at least one piece of new art that can’t have been posted anywhere else before this.

2. All visual art forms are welcome:

a ) Gifsets, at least 3 gifs.

b ) Aesthetic boards or moodboards, at least 4 images each.

c ) Drawing/painting, that is not a sketch.

d) Fan video.

e) Graphics edit.

For Authors:

1. At least 500 words.

2. Posted on Tumblr or AO3.

3. Can be part of a series, but should work as a standalone.

For Podficcers:

1. The podfic should at least be 5 minutes long.

2. It should be posted on either Tumblr or AO3.

3. The podfic can be of a fic made for the event, a fic not made for the event while still adhering to the prompt, or a notfic.

For Fic Rec Lists:

1. You must have at least three fics or podfics on the rec list.

2. Make sure to give brief descriptions of the fics or podfics as well as their rating and wordcount.

For Commenters:

1. Any amount of comment counts, from a heart emoji (“❤️”) to an essay.

2. We would rather this be about what makes you happy and joyful about reading than any scathing critiques.

Things to be mindful of when creating:

For Sam

Avoid decentering Sam as a main character and refrain from focusing entirely on Bucky.

In art: avoid whitewashing Sam’s skin and research drawing Black characters.

For Bucky

Specific Tags:

Avoid tags in AO3 like “Sam Wilson is a Gift”, “Sam Wilson is a Saint”, and “Bucky Needs a Hug”.

Have fun and we look forward to your Seasonal Bingo fics!

- The Mods

#sbseasonalbingo2024 #sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky fanfiction #sambucky fanart #sambucky edits #sambucky fan event #holiday event #sambucky moodboard #sambucky fic rec #sambucky podfic #mod: thatmexisaurusrex

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rqccho · 23 days ago

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Summary: Youre aimlessly wandering around on one of the main streets of Bridon and admiring the sky, until a stranger tackles you to the ground. The two of you then spend some time together, getting to know more about each other.

Pairing: Xia Fei x they/them reader (i tried to make it as gender neutral as possible)

a/n: ive never written an x reader fanfic before so i apologize if its lacking in any way! i also hope i didnt mischaracterise xia fei too much ^^

Sidenote: i dont really know how to rate this but there isnt (and there wont be) any sort of smut!

Timeline: This fic takes place before the events of bridon arc !!

Word count: 3,177

(ill continue it next week if i have time!!)

Renting Shell

What are looks good for? You'd think everyone would be happy to be naturally born with good looks, that they'd enjoy the constant compliments and praise they receive. Well, unfortunately not everyone is like that.

Low and behold!! The most famous modeling agency had just renewed their contract with one of, if not the best models they had ever hired! Felix, a young man with a slim build and a bold yet soft appearance, messy split dyed hair paired with sweet tangerine coloured eyes and the fairest skin you'll ever see, is someone who is always perfect in front of the camera. His charismatic facial expressions and body language make you think that he was born to be photographed.

There isn’t a single person that doesn’t appreciate his looks and he’s an idol to quite a big amount of people. Some people look up to him and feel inspired, others envy his success. But despite all of this surface level admiration, does anyone ever wonder what lies underneath that? What kind of person he really is outside of the expectations that have been built up around him.

The weather that day wasn’t exactly favourable, the sky was covered in low hanging grey clouds, almost swollen which looked like they were about to burst at any moment, yet despite their ominous presence, they held their burden.

“I wonder if it’s going to rain” I think to myself while looking up at the sky, not realizing the traffic light displayed red and a car was only centimeters away from me.

“Hey– move back–!”

A panicked voice called out to me, but before I could react, I felt someone pushing you down.

“Agh, what the–?!” I said it subconsciously.

“Are you hurt?!” A blonde man asks in an overly concerned tone.

The stranger looked me straight in the eyes, I think. I couldn’t make out his face at all since he was wearing a black mask and funnily enough, rose tinted glasses. What I *could* make out was his spiky yet messy split dyed hair.

“Hellooooo? Did the car hit you?! Did i injure you from the fall?!” He asked in a worried tone.

“Ah..i’m fine…i think? What happened..?” I scratch the top of my head with my left hand.

“ ”What happened”?! You weren’t paying attention to the traffic lights at all! You were seriously about to get hit y’know!” He sighs.

“I…was?” I paused. Hold on, he was right. I were just staring at the sky while being lost in my own thoughts. If it wasn’t for this guy I could’ve gotten hit.

“Yes you were!!! Honestly, if i was even a second late you’d be laying on the floor in a pool of blood right now. Im asking you this again, are you sure you're not injured anywhere?”

I finally came back to my senses.

“Ah– Yes i’m fine!!! But that’s all thanks to you though.” I fidget my fingers before i talk again. “How can i repay you!!” How silly, I feel slightly embarrassed. Everyone was looking at us.

“Repay me? There’s no need for that! I’m just glad you aren’t hurt!” After he said that he scratched his neck awkwardly with his right hand. However, an open wound was seemingly visible.

“Your hand..you injured it because of me!!” I didn’t even think and before I knew it, I grabbed his wrist and pulled his sleeve a little higher, making the wound more visible.

“Y-you–” The blonde man stutters.

“Look at this!! You scraped it against the pavement when we fell! Ah…i’m genuinely so sorry..if only i had been paying attention to my surroundings..”

“N-no, stop. It was my decision that led to this but…shit, what’s my boss gonna say…how will the others react..” The stranger muttered.

I stopped for a second. Now that I got a good look at him, he did look a little out of the ordinary. A mask and glasses? Quite the odd choice of accessories..

Nevertheless, I have to admit I was a little bit curious. Boss? How will the others react? Just what did he mean by that?

“Boss? Others?” I asked.

“Hm? Ah. I just don’t know how we will be able to cover this injury up, or if it’ll heal fast enough before my next….” He stopped. It also seemed like he did not want to finish that sentence.

“Hey, let’s go to the pharmacy. There happens to be one nearby and i heard there’s a new ointment out on the market…it could be worth a try.” I smile gently.

The stranger tilts his head to the side a little. Although I was unable to figure out what kind of expression he was making, I got the feeling he was hesitant. And honestly, rightfully so. After all, he doesn’t even know who I am nor do I know who he is. The two of us just happened to meet because I was deep in my own thoughts.

“I just..want to repay you somehow. I know this isn’t on the same level as what you did for me, but i want to at least be of help!” I stated in an energetic tone

“Alright fine. You convinced me” The stranger sighed. “Lead the way.”

And thus we started walking towards the pharmacy together. Surprisingly, the air no longer seemed as thick as it once was. Of course, the feeling was still there, but it wasn’t as prominent as before. Maybe I was meant to meet this man that was walking beside me, maybe it was fate!!

….On second thought, that would be crazy. I’m not delusional enough to actually believe that. Though he does seem friendly, and he did just save my life. Who knows, maybe this won’t be the only time I’ll interact with him. I are still relatively curious about the mask though.

“Hey look! We’re here!” I exclaimed. “Do you want to go in with me or just wait outside?”

“I’ll need to call my boss so you can go in ahead… i’ll just wait outside.”

His tone seemed somewhat different than before. Maybe this small injury was a big problem for him. Does he work in a restaurant..? Ah. I’m getting lost in my own thoughts again. Alright! I just need to get this ointment really quick…

*Several minutes passed*

“Hey stranger with light hair!!! I bought the ointment!!” I shouted. After a few seconds with no reply, I looked around and saw the man sitting on a nearby bench, looking a little gloomy.

I walk up to him, and that’s when I realize: *his sunglasses and mask were off!!* I gently pat him on the shoulder to let him know I’m done. Surprisingly, the man looked up at me with teary eyes. What happened? Was the call with his boss that serious? Moreover, was this injury really that big of a deal?

“He’s so mad.” The man started talking.

“Your boss?” I ask while I sit down beside him on the bench.

“Yeah…He told me to take the day off and think about my actions…” He buried his face in his palms.

He looked a little…pathetic. That phrase is usually what parents tell their kids, but to tell a grown man that…I’ll admit though, it is a tiny bit funny to see him react like this.

“Do you work in a restaurant, or a cafe maybe? Are you like a chef or…barista?” I tilt my head to the side with a curious expression on my face. “Why would your boss care this much about a small injury?”

The stranger then paused. He looked at me with a very surprised expression. “You..don’t know who i am?”

“Am i supposed to?” I ask, and the two of us make eye contact.

“No!! It’s okay. I’m no one, really.” His lips slowly curled into a smile. “And you’re kind of right! I do have a part time job as a waiter” He was no longer teary eyed, rather happy but also awkward.

“I see!! If the customers saw that injury they would ask about it, and i bet that its tiring to hear the same question over and over, no?” I ask as I open the packaging of the ointment.

“Yeah!! You get it!” He exclaimed.

This guy…looked just like a puppy!

“Give me your hand. I’ll apply it for you.” I say as I offer a smile.

The man then extended his hand and placed it in mine. I was gently applying the ointment on his wound and he let out a little ‘ouch!’....that sort of thing. I can’t blame him though, it probably stings like hell even if the wound wasn’t deep at all. I did get a weird vibe from him. He’s so…expressive? Earlier he literally cried and a second after he got all giddy when I said I don’t know him. Just who is this guy..?

“Hey, what’s your name?” The man asked you in a happy tone.

“My name? It’s y/n. What’s yours?” I reply back.

“Xia fei!” He smiled.

His smile looked so genuine, it made me want to smile too. I’m also very curious about him. Xia fei seems like an interesting person and he’s making me want to know more about him by the second. How could his boss be mean to someone this kind. Like, c’mon. Not just anyone would jump in front of a car to save someone they don’t even know.

*A while later*

We ended up chatting for a whole hour. Surprisingly, that tiny wound of his caused him to get a day off work. Are the rules of that restaurant really that harsh? I never knew people wouldn’t be allowed to work because of something like that.

*Agh, seriously this sucks!! I only had work scheduled for today and now I’m completely out of options.” Xia fei then scratched his head out of frustration. He had meticulously planned his entire schedule for this week, well, his boss did.

It was almost as if a light bulb lit up on top of his head, he was basically sparkling. The blonde then stood up quickly, typed something on his phone, and then extended it to me. It was…the café near my university!!

“Have you ever been here? What do you say, wanna accompany me?” He smiled brightly. It was almost impossible to resist such an innocent looking face. Honestly, how does this guy do it? I’ve barely known him for two hours and I already feel drawn to him. His aura is basically screaming “please stay with me!!” vibes.

“This café…yeah! I go there all the time!” I smiled back and clumsily put the ointment back in the package, and as soon as I am about to put it in the bag, it slips out of my hands.

“Pfft. Here, let me help you with that” Xia fei giggled.

He leans down, grabs the ointment and….it slips out of his hand as well.

It was so hard for me to stop myself from laughing. I’m sure he just wanted to make a good impression, but thats….simply hilarious. I didn’t even realise that I was too focused on trying not to laugh, that I had completely forgotten to say something. I just….ended up staring at him.

“….Ahem.” The man then stands up, places the ointment in the bag this time, and then turns around.

For a second I thought I had made him uncomfortable because I was staring for too long but when i looked more closely, *his ears were bright red!!* Oh my gosh, now he really does remind me of a puppy. I can’t get the image out of my head!! Like, just imagine a golden retriever with this guy’s face…I feel like that would look both uncanny and cute in a way.

I quickly get up, grab the bag next to me and tap Xia fei’s shoulder. He was a little startled but that’s to be expected after what just happened. I’m pretty sure that he’s feeling embarrassed right about now.

“C’mon, let’s go!! The day is almost over y’know!” I enthusiastically say with a grin on my face. This was my attempt at helping him feel less embarrassed.

“Y-yeah…it’s almost 8 pm.” The blonde agreed.

We then walk all the way to the cafe.

After a good 30 minutes we finally sat down at a more concealed (idk if this is the right word) table. It was located more towards the back of the cafe, away from any windows. We weren’t the only customers there, but there certainly weren’t many people around us either. I felt a little silly, sitting here next to a man i’ve only met hours ago. Though, we somehow clicked. I don’t know if it was because he literally saved my life, or if he’s just that likeable, Or….am I the likeable one? Agh, whatever!! I just feel a little silly, no need to fixate on such details.

I’ll have to admit though, I felt weirdly comfortable around him. As soon as I said i dont know who he is, it was almost as if his personality did a 180. Well, not completely. With the way he called out to me in such a concerned matter he didn’t feel like a nonchalant guy, but he was still way colder than he is now….which is to be expected, we are strangers after all.

Xia fei was carefully examining the menu. On our way here, he told me about how he wanted to try out something new for a change. He said he usually gets a cappuccino, and the new mocha they had, stuck out to him. I’m pretty sure he will get that, so i don’t quite understand why he’s still looking at that menu for so long, but maybe he’s getting something else in the end. Honestly, who am I to judge?

“Hey, y/n. What are you getting?” The blonde man asks me with a curious expression on his face.

“Hmmm, well. I was thinking about getting the matcha latte since it’s so late and it barely has any caffeine.” I say as i point to the photo on the menu.

“Ohhh!! I got that once. It was pretty good from what i can remember!” Xia fei smiles, pauses for a minute and then sighs.

“I need something that has enough caffeine to keep me up tonight..I still didn’t finish the assignment that’s due tomorrow..” He then placed his palms on his head.

“Assignment? What’s it about?” I ask, intrigued as to what he had to say.

“Nothing much, just, physics and stuff. It’s not hard at all, but with the part time jobs taking up most of my time now, I just haven’t had the time to do it. Now I need to pull an all nighter and leave my house at 6 am for my morning run…” He says as he rubs his eyes seemingly tired.

“Woah there!! An all nighter?? And then leave the house at 6 am?? Have you even had time to rest?” I ask in a concerned tone.

“Ehhh, not really. Oh, but it’s completely fine!! Don’t worry, I’m used to this. Seriously.” Xia fei then gave me a weak smile.

“You know, rest is really important…” The smile on my face from earlier was now gone. I had a very worried look on my face.

“Yup, I know! Which is why I will be rewarding myself tomorrow after classes, I promise!” The man then literally gave me a thumbs up, but that smile…it didn’t look like a genuine one.

“Alright, alright. If you say so then I’ll believe you.” I tilted my head to the right and faintly smiled.

Two hours pass by and we talked about so many things. I found out more about this guy, and he genuinely seemed like a good person. His expressions and gestures were genuine, i think, except for that bit. It seems like he doesn’t really prioritize himself. He also mentioned multiple part time jobs…gosh, I can’t even imagine how exhausted he must be. But still, to have so many…he must really need the money. Maybe one day I’ll find out more about that.

I also noticed something quite strange. He seemed to be avoiding people, or being in public in general. When i mentioned taking the bus to the cafe he gave me a strange look paired with that fake smile of his. And also we sat at such a reserved table in the back, far from any windows. Could he just have social anxiety? No, that can’t be right. He’s literally the one who approached me, and put himself in the “spotlight” when he saved me. Everyone was staring at us, but he felt somehow…used to it? What a strange yet mysterious man..

Before we left the cafe, we exchanged contact infos and then we parted ways. Apparently, he lives in a dorm which is further to the university. I heard that dorm is known for its cheap prices.

When i got back to my own dorm, I noticed that my roommate was nowhere to be seen. Sigh, maybe they were out again. They really do love to party even if we have classes tomorrow. Oh well, let them do their thing.

I quickly made something to eat, took a relaxing shower, and then changed into pyjamas and plopped down onto my bed. Today was so hectic, I didn’t even realize how tired i really was. I closed my eyes for a while, and then, ding! . Agh, who could it be at this hour? I unlocked my phone and saw two messages from the guy I met today.

“Thank u for today, I had fun!

Lets meet again when we both have time ^^ “ -xf

What the hell, that’s so cute. People don’t usually thank me for hanging out with them. This is a first.

“I had fun too! we should totally meet up again sometime!

Also, please do try to finish that assignment quickly and then sleep for at least an hour :c “ -me

I started to drift back to sleep, but then i heard another notification.

“Pfft, ill try my best” -xf

“im counting on you!!! seriously, youre going to die if you dont get any sleep” -me

“Yeah yeah. My boss says the exact same thing yet he still adds more and more work on my schedule

Blame him, not me” -xf

“still, you need to take it easy once in a while.” -me

“Im aware.

Speaking of sleeping, dont u need to do just that? Its already 12 am” -xf

“I was about to, but then i got a message” -me

“Aghhh, Im so sorry about that.

I shouldve just texted you in the morning” -xf

“hey, no worries!

but im really going to bed now..

goodnight!! “ -me

“Sleep well ^^” -xf

I then put my phone on silent, and slowly drifted to the land of the dreams. Before falling asleep though, the events of today kept replaying in my mind. I still can’t believe that I was about to die like that if it wasn’t for him. I’ll need to properly thank him sometime, but for now, maybe we can become friends…

#link click bridon arc #link click #xia fei #fanfic #x reader #fluff #cute #university #cafe #yingdu arc #bridon arc #bridon spoilers #link click vein

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padfootagain · 1 year ago

Text

His Heart in Your Hands

Hi everyone! Today, we’re answering a request for my 6k event made by @jackys-stuff-blog for our dear King Caspian: “*Yikes* I need to be fast uhm... Okay, congratulations on 6k followers again, you deserve it 😊 Can I request something for king caspian with this prompt Wounded character leads to confession. Where he comes back from a journey and the reader is patches him up (she is working in the Castle) Please? Thank you 😌🥺❤️🫂 I hope it's okay like that Oh, only if you have some places for requests left”

Thank you so much for your request! I hope you like this!

Hope you all like this, tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: King Caspian x reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of blood and description of a wound, violence… our baby’s fighting!

Summary: Caspian comes back to Cair Paravel alive after a campaign against a neighbouring kingdom, but he’s still in a pretty bad shape. You’ve been worried sick about him, and even if you are but a servant, even if it’s not your place… you can’t help but look for him that night, just to make sure that he’s alright.

Word Count: 2950

Caspian’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

You knew that you shouldn’t be there, and yet, you couldn’t help your feet as they crossed the castle.

You were but a servant, after all, you ought to remain where you belonged. Which was anywhere but near the King. And yet…

… yet there you were, in front of the door of his private chamber, with some water and some clothes and bandages in your hands.

You had managed to convince your colleague to let you go in her stead; to have an excuse to offer the guards to let you pass and access the King’s private chambers. And she disapproved of your feelings towards the leader of your people, but she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand that you knew him. That you had spent long evenings with him, when you should have been cleaning and he should have been resting; talking, laughing, falling in love, one dreadful and yet irrevocable step at a time. A love that you had never confessed, knowing that he would not feel the same, knowing that this was impossible.

There had been rumours spreading while he was gone, talks of a terrible injury, the kind that could be lethal. Talks of his death, even. Of Caspian being hit by the sharp edge of a blade across the chest, of his blood staining the grass and making the cold ground fume. Of his eyes closing forever, of a last breath being drawn… And you refused to believe it. Even when people started to guess the name of the next King, you refused to give in. Something inside you knew that he was still out there, alive and breathing and that he would come home, eventually. Your friends called it delusion, denial. You preferred to call it instinct.

Still, when you had seen him, along with a large crowd gathered by the doors of Cair Paravel to welcome him back, you were worried. Everybody was. If he was smiling, Caspian was paler than you had ever seen him, his arm wrapped in a bandage, pain written all over his features despite his best efforts to hide it. Instead of the traditional banquet, the King had retired to his chambers as quickly as he could to rest, and rumours were starting again, claiming that his injury was worse than it seemed, that his life was still at stake, that a doctor was there constantly, that he had called for his advisors to decide on who would step next to the throne, just in case…

You had to make sure that none of these rumours were true, that he was fine. So, you imagined that trick with your colleague, convinced her to do it. And if she was supposed to give the bandages and the water to the guards, you had claimed that you had been told to bring them directly to the King. A royal order. No one could go against that. If Caspian failed to back up your story, you could be fired, or worse, sent in a dark cell for many years, but you didn’t care. Caspian and his injury were the only things on your mind.

You gathered your courage in a long intake of breath, and finally knocked on Caspian’s door.

His answer sounded distant, weaker than usual. Still, you obeyed the invitation, opened the door and walked in.

Caspian was lying in his bed, pillows set against the headboard so he could be half-seated. There were candles on his bedside table, and a warm fire in the hearth, and yet the room was dark, the inky sky shy of a moon and stars tonight. A half-eaten meal rested in a small tray by the bed, a book was set on the covers. And Caspian was there, buried under blankets, looking weak for the first time since you had met him.

Oh, you knew that he could be a gentle soul, you had talked about his weaknesses, he had showed you parts of his heart few had been lucky enough to glimpse at. But this was different. Somehow, over the course of the last year, ever since you had started speaking to him in private, Caspian had been a constant in your life. Once a week, you would sit together in the library, or in the gardens if the weather was gentle enough to allow it, and you would talk about yourselves, about what had happened in your lives while you were apart, about his worries, and your tasks, and he would complain about foreign dignitaries that drove him crazy, and you would laugh as you mocked some impolite lords and ladies. Every week for a year, you had been longing for these few hours spent with him, for his reassuring presence by your side, for the attentive ear he was lending to your unimportant life. And perhaps it was stupid, because again, you were but a servant, but during all these evenings you couldn’t help but believe him when he said that he cared, that he wanted to see you, that he was happy to spend time with you. It had been a regular meeting that had marked your life in such a way that you could not imagine living without it now.

And now, Caspian was lying in a bed, pale as sheets, beard a little overgrown, eyes so tired they seemed buried in their sockets, dark bags dug under his eyes. And for the first time, you thought that perhaps the rumours were true, that his life truly was endangered, that you could lose him for good…

“Y/N?”

He beamed up at you, a tiny bit of colour coming back to his cheeks for a moment, you couldn’t help but smile back.

“Your Majesty,” you bowed before walking closer, setting the water and clothes on a small table near the bed.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, but there was no resentment in his voice, more like disbelief, a tinge of awe at the sight of you.

“I came to take care of your bandages.”

“You?”

“I… I might have insisted…”

He chuckled, but quickly winced instead, hissing as his hand flew to hold his ribs. And he looked exhausted all over again.

“I apologize… broken ribs,” he explained. “Laughing is not recommended for a few more days.”

“I am sorry, I did not mean to cause you any pain. I can come back later…”

“No!”

He held out his hand, and you had no choice but to take it.

“Please, stay,” he asked, begging, and you had never seen such desperation in his eyes before. “Please…”

“Alright, I will stay.”

He pulled you closer, gently, until you would sit by his side; and he smiled at the feeling of the mattress bending slightly under your weight.

“What happened?” you asked, suddenly conscious of the quiet in the room, a silence barely disturbed by the cracking of the fire and the lulling movement of the wind.

He gave you a reassuring smile.

“I shall be healed in a few weeks, there is no need for you to worry.”

“There are rumours…”

“I am certain that they are most interesting. When is my untimely demise supposed to occur?”

He seemed relaxed despite his tiredness, and you caught yourself smiling at his joke.

“About three days ago.”

“Dear Aslan, I am back from the dead already!”

“It would seem so. You look the part, at least.”

He tried not to laugh, and you apologized as he winced.

“I have missed this.”

“My obvious disrespect toward my King?”

“You. I have missed you.”

He blinked, and you thought he needed rest, but he asked for you to stay again, just a little longer, and you couldn’t refuse.

“You did not answer. What happened?”

Caspian shrugged.

“It was a battle, I was wounded. There is nothing else to say about it.”

Slowly, you nodded, knowing that he was avoiding your question, but letting him get away with it.

“I should change your bandage. And then, I will let you rest.”

“Do I truly look so bad?” he asked with a crooked smile, but it faltered as you averted your eyes. It was your time to avoid his question.

You helped him out of his shirt, revealing the large bandage that encircled his torso and shoulder. He had another one around his arm. Both wounds were deep cut, that had been stitched by the expert hands of a doctor. Still, as you stared at the broken flesh, at the spots of blood still on his skin, at the red line crossing his chest… you realized just as lucky he was to still be breathing.

The rumours, if exaggerated, were not unfounded either…

You got to work in silence, hands shaking as you held back tears. Because you could have lost him this time, he could have never come back home, and then you would have never been able to tell him what he meant for you. That he was everything. That you loved him with a devotion you had never guessed yourself capable of. With a love you knew could never falter…

“Y/N?”

He wrapped his hand around yours, steadying your trembling fingers. You realised, then, that you were crying.

“I am fine. It is just a wound, it will heal.”

You didn’t stop him when he guided your palm to his heart, splaying your hand across his warm chest, and your heart staggered at the contact. He made you feel the organ hidden there, beating steadily, unwaveringly.

“I am fine. I am here,” he went on, tone soothing, unbelievably warm, and it made you cry even harder, breaking all of the borders to your hearts, all the walls guarding your soul.

“I was so scared,” you admitted, voice hoarse with your cries. “I am so scared…”

“There is no reason for you to worry. It will heal. I am perfectly fine. I simply need a few days of rest, and then everything will be back to normal.”

“You could have died…”

“But I did not.”

“This time. This time, you did not. What about next time?”

“Next time, I will not die either. I will come back, and you will be here to welcome me home, just as you are here now.”

He brushed your tears away with his thumb.

“Stop crying. I cannot see you in pain.”

But you didn’t calm down, and he frowned in worry.

“Y/N, what is it? What is on your mind? What has you so upset?”

Under your palm, his heart was still beating, you could feel it run across your entire body. You would have sworn your own heart was in sync with his now.

“I am sorry,” you whispered. “I cannot help it. The way… the way I feel for you. I am sorry.”

He frowned slightly at that, but there was some hope in his eyes as well.

“I think… Seeing you like this… I cannot hold it back any longer. I just… I must let it out. Even if I know that this is impossible, and that my feelings are unrequited… and perhaps you will never want to see me again but… it hurts too much to think that you could have died without knowing.”

You were bolder than you had ever believed yourself to be capable of when you reached up to touch his cheek, fingers tickled by his beard.

“I love you,” you confessed in a breath that even you could barely hear, and yet Caspian seemed to catch it loud and clear. The way his breath caught in his throat, and his heart under your palm sped up, became erratic… all these were giving him away. “I love you, Caspian. I have loved you for a long time. And… I know that I am servant, and that I will never be more than a faithful friend to you, but… I wanted to tell you, while I have the chance. Because despite being forbidden, my feelings are earnest, and that ought to mean something… If anything, it ought to be worthy of acknowledgement, at the very least…”

You were surprised to find tears in Caspian’s eyes, some that he tried to blink away, but failed to force into disappearance. Instead, he pressed your palm harder against his chest, and his heart was beating dangerously fast now. And through his gesture, he was trying to tell you something, or rather, to show you, as words were failing him now.

But you didn’t understand, and so he cleared his throat, at long last.

“I did not think that you felt this way for me.”

“I thought I was being obvious,” you replied, a painful smile on your lips. “All of my colleagues know. They have guessed. They call me a fool for it, and they are right, of course.”

“A fool?”

“You are King, and I am a servant. There is no more foolish love as this one.”

“I highly disagree. If anything… if anything, I am happy you are letting yourself yield to such foolishness.”

You frowned at his words, afraid to understand what he meant.

He looked down for a moment, looking for the right words, it seemed, and you gave him the time he needed to start speaking. Anyway, you didn’t know what to say.

“If you are opening your heart to me, then… I reckon that I should open mine as well. I… I was hoping you would come, that I would see you today. But I was worried that you would not want to see me, so I did not ask for you to come.”

You frowned at that.

“Why would I not want to see you?”

Caspian shrugged.

“I did not think that you harboured such feelings for me. I thought… I thought I was a mere friend. You have never shown any sign that there could be more…”

“You are King, there cannot be more. Despite my feelings, I am well aware that there will never be anything more between us.”

But Caspian shook his head, capturing your gaze in the blackness of his irises.

“Y/N… I am King. I am the one making the laws, I can marry whoever I want.”

He said it like it was easy. Like it would not create rumours, create tensions with other lands, like it would not infuriate the entirety of the Lords and Ladies, like the whole of Narnia would not criticize his choice. Like it merely depended on the two of you. It seemed such a foolish view of the world, naïve, too much so for such a clever man.

“The political crisis that would follow would be disastrous.”

“Why would it be? There is nothing wrong in falling in love. There is nothing wrong in marrying the woman I love either. We have never behaved in a disrespectful way, we have never crossed any line that should have remained uncrossed. There is nothing wrong with this…”

The woman I love.

His words echoed still in your ears, in your heart as well. You could not believe them… or rather, you could not believe that they were meant for you.

“Besides, there is a very easy solution to our problem.”

“Really?”

“I can dismiss you from the castle. Then you will no longer be a servant working at Cair Paravel. And then, if you want me, I can marry you.”

You stopped breathing altogether, and Caspian seemed amused by your expression. The smile that formed on his tired features was full of fondness.

“It is funny that you blame me for being blind, when you have been just as unable to see the truth as I was. I thought, too, that I was being quite obvious.”

“You cannot be meaning that.”

But he pressed your palm tighter against the skin of his chest, so you could feel even more vividly the beating of his heart against your hand, until it felt like you were touching it, like you were holding the organ itself.

He looked at you with such intensity, the entire world around you had disappeared.

“Y/N… do you not know…? Do you not know that my heart is yours? That it has always been yours? Can you not feel it?”

He gave you a gentle smile, voice barely more than a whisper and much deeper than usual, the weight of the confession making it too hard for him to breathe.

“My heart is in the palm of your hand, where it has always belonged. It has always been yours to hold in your hands.”

It was his turn to reach for your cheek, and you leaned into his touch without noticing. When he gently pulled you down, failing strengths not allowing him to lean up to meet you, you didn’t resist. Instead, you allowed him to guide you to him, until his lips and yours were but a breath away from each other.

“I love you,” he whispered, and your heart, you thought, exploded. “Can I… Can I do this? Y/N, I have been dreaming about this for so long…”

Instead of answering, of granting him permission to finally kiss you, you were the one to close the distance between your mouths, kissing him achingly, with every bit of your worry, your love, your passion, your withheld feelings poured into him through the tender gesture. And he responded with the same strength, the same unwavering desire to hold you closer, to devour you until you were one, to show you just as much he felt for you…

You kissed for a long time, forgetting about the world, the duties, the ranks and the time that passes. And in your palm, his heart was beating.

#caspian x #king caspian #caspian #caspian x reader #caspian x y/n #caspian x you #caspian fanfiction #caspian fanfic #caspian oneshot #writing #fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot #narnia #narnia fanfiction #narnia fanfic

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gottawriteanegoortwo · 2 months ago

Text

A Surprise Visit to Yancy

As Captain, you can finally return to your home planet, however briefly that might be. Your first free day happens to fall on the third Sunday of the month.

You thinking what I’m thinking?

Word Count: 1,976

(Note: Can be viewed either as romantic or platonic)

Ever since the colonists had settled on the new planet, you had received a request from the main association on Earth to provide an in-person status report. You had put it off because difficulties arose that you wanted to sort out. However, it also allowed Mark time to set to work on a new project.

You thought he never would have wanted to be anywhere near the Warp Core, but he promised he had one final spark of inspiration. You checked in on him frequently, and within three weeks, he had made an amazing adjustment to the computer. Somehow, he had managed to create a ‘route’ linking two areas between the two planets. The warps could happen safely now, cutting a trip that would have taken decades into a week, maximum

It meant you could finally agree to meet delegates in person and provide the required updated and progress reports. The plan had been to take a small crew who would help with other tasks on the home planet and leave the Crew Leads in charge, but Mark insisted he would tag along. He didn’t need to explain why - both of you wanted to make sure no one else remembered the events of the Paradox.

On Earth, your arrival was kept a secret, and both of you attended numerous meetings and conferences to provide updates and projected plans. You negotiated supplies to be brought back to help the colony’s establishment, and in return you provided suggestions on what could be done to help enhance the colony’s development.

Dawn broke on Sunday morning by the time you and Mark could drag yourselves out of the meeting room and get some fresh air on the walk back to the hotel. Conversation was good, but it was clear that Mark’s thoughts were elsewhere. This was only confirmed once you entered the hotel lobby. He paused, and stretched, hoping to relieve some tension from his stiff back.

“Well, Captain. I would love to talk more, but I think I’m gonna get some shut eye. I have a flight to catch this evening.”

This was new information, and you made this clear. What was he up to?

Mark’s face broke out into a wide grin. “I’m gonna go home and see my Mom. She’s no idea I’m here and I wanna surprise her tonight. I’ll keep you updated!” With a salute and a laugh, he hurried to his room.

A surprise visit? It was a good idea. You both had a few days before any official business resumed. But it wasn’t quite as easy for you as it was for him. You could visit your own family, maybe, and this idea spurred you to pull your phone out of your pocket as you made your way down the corridor to your room. A quick press of buttons unlocked the screen to the calendar page where you had last used it to schedule meetings, but something caught your eye.

The current date was highlighted. Sunday 15th. Not only that, it was the third Sunday of the month.

Wait a minute.

Once inside your room, you quickly checked the time, then opened the phone app. You had a call to make, and you needed to make it now.

The morning routine was the same as it always was. Get up for morning call, shower, have breakfast, then tidy the cell in the short lull before he was called for his first shift of the day. At least it being Sunday meant Yancy had a little longer in his cell. He could finally fold his spare prison outfit properly. It had been tossed on the desk on Saturday morning and he hadn’t time to fix it.

A knock on the heavy, metal door startled him.

“Uh… Yeah?”

The door opened. Officer Smith poked his head around the door. “Morning Yancy. You’re gonna need to get yourself ready.”

“For what? My shift ain’t for a while yet.”

“Well, you’ve got a visitor who wants to see you today.” Officer Smith looked rather pleased at this announcement, but the sentiment wasn’t shared with Yancy. He sighed and turned back to folding a t-shirt.

“Look. I, uh, I don’t mean nothing bad by this, but I ain’t going. I don’t got a reason to.”

“C’mon Yancy…”

“It’s true though. I don’t got any cousins in the area, or any schoolmates, or former work colleagues or whatever. I don’t wanna go all that way just to see that I is face to face with some reporter or snotty kid trying to do a psych report for college again.”

“Then what about a friend?” Warden Murder-Slaughter opened the door wider so he could also be seen. “I know yer a good fella, Yancy. It’d be rude ta leave a friend waitin’ out in th’ visitation room when they came all this way just to see ya.”

The shirt dropped from Yancy’s hands to land in a crumpled heap on the table.

Happy Trails had two areas dedicated for visitation. The first was for the unscheduled ‘drop-ins’, where you stepped into a booth and spoke through the phone. This space had multiple purposes: people who happened to arrive in, or were seeking an interview, people on official business like lawyers, or prisoners who were deemed too ‘dangerous’ to be in direct contact with visitors. This was where you had last seen Yancy, when you were thrown out of one wormhole and dropped onto a chair. You don’t know how long it had been since he had last seen you, but it must have been some time in the past if he was still using the cover of ‘space camp’. Once the dust had settled and the universe was normal again, you had remembered this, and felt guilty. He had been so surprised to see you, like he had expected you to never return.

Even now, he assumed you were on another planet entirely. Though, this time around, you were keeping quiet on purpose. You wanted to see the reaction.

By phoning ahead, you were able to arrange the visit in the public visitation rooms. Traditionally, this was the default location. Since Happy Trails focused more on rehabilitation, this room was one that would help bring a sense of ‘normality’ in an isolated setting. It was a large, bright, open room with tables and chairs dotted around the place. There were guards on duty, but if you had your back to them you could pretend you were simply catching up in any public setting.

A guard had assigned you to a small table beside the window. You shrugged off your jacket and draped it over the back of the chair. The plan had been to sit down, but a shout of “Yancy wait -” caught your ear. Your turned your head in the direction of the shout and had no time to react to a man running at full speed and charging into you for a hug. The impact hurt, and you collided with the floor, but you didn’t care as you returned the hug.

Of course, it was barely a few seconds before a guard pulled Yancy back onto his feet by the back of his t-shirt, while the Warden offered you a hand up.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Captain.” The Warden smiled as he patted your shoulder - you were able to hold steady and ignore the pain. “Normally we’d be raising alarms ‘bout a prisoner physically assaulting a visitor but… I think we can make an exception to this.”

You chuckled, turning your attention to see whether Yancy was okay. To no surprise, the greaser was lost for words, looking utterly dumbfounded as he stared at you with wide eyes. With this lack of response, the amused guard who had hoisted him up guided him to the free chair and encouraged him to sit down. Then, just for good measure, the guard gave him a light pat on the shoulder before he and the Warden walked away.

Silence settled in for the first few minutes, and you decided not to push Yancy into talking. In time, he reached forward and patted your arm, still holding an expression of disbelief.

“This don’t feel real,” he admitted, finally regaining the ability to speak. “Youse is… here. And not way out there. But… How? I thought this whole thing was ‘sposed to be a one-way deal. Once youse left… Youse wasn’t ever meant to come back.”

That was true. When you had agreed to the position, you had assumed it to be that way. However, Mark’s ‘extra experience’ with warp core technology, the distance was a lot shorter than it should have been. What should have been impossible was now possible.

Yancy’s head lowered as he processed this. “So… Wait. Why did youse come here, then?”

You shrugged. Wasn’t it obvious? You wanted to see him again. You had to make up for lost time.

“Yeah, and the fact that youse had to go before youse could properly hear that song. But that’s okay! I know youse is super busy and I don’t hold that against you.” You couldn’t ignore the way his expression softened when he realised that you were here because you wanted to see him.

You decided to bite the bullet and ask whether anything else weird happened the last time you visited. You needed to know what he experienced when the universe was in disarray

“Aside from the sudden leaving? Nah. Everything was the same as it always was, y’know? I mean, the few days afterward are a bit blurry, but that tends to happen. Prison’s got that routine, y’know? Very easy to lose track of the days if youse ain’t careful, so it ain’t nothing to worry ‘bout. I guess that’s further proof that nothing weird happened, eh?”

That did a little consolation, but the memory of the last visit brought another question to the forefront of your mind before you could stop yourself - did he spend many other visitation days waiting in one of those booths?

A hand slowly rubbed the back of his neck. “... A few. I knows I wasn’t ‘sposed to ‘cause I knew youse was gone by then but I couldn’t help it. I just thought youse would be pissed if I wasn’t there when youse wanted to come. Not that I expected that or nothing, youse ain’t under some sorta ‘contract’ to visit or anything like that. Youse got waaay more important things to do than to come here and -” Yancy stopped himself. He was rambling and risked spiralling into a low mood. He took a moment and exhaled slowly to get himself back on track. “Eventually the Warden told me that he’d let me know if anyone came to visit. Think he felt bad that I was sitting there for so long. But, uh, I guess he kept his word. He did come by and say that someone was here to see me. So… I owe him for that, I think. And aside from that? Uh, the parole stuff ain’t going nowhere fast. It’s, uh… Gonna be a long while, I think. Got a lot more hurdles than others given my, uh, ‘circumstances’.”

You winced in sympathy, knowing that it would likely be a difficult challenge for Yancy to pass the parole board. However, you didn’t want to spend the entire time worrying about the future. Instead, you looked around, dramatically making sure no one was nearby, before asking whether he wanted to see proof of aliens.

“You got something??”

You got something, and you pulled out a small photo album to prove as much. It would be a much better starting point for your space adventures that steered far away from the troubles of the past. Maybe he would be surprised when you reveal the stories of how you have befriended aliens!

#writersofmark #yancy ahwm #in space with markiplier #yancy the prisoner #self-insert #iswm captain #(Engie is here too but I'm not using his proper tag)#(read more is for tidiness! :D )#go visit yancy #(man; it's been a while since I wrote a proper visitation setting; eh?)

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