#then the last two are “triangle good? triangle bad?”

[billcipher-rpblog]

💵 🔐, ⚠️, ✅️?

👋!

ℹ️ 🅰️Ⓜ️ 🧲.

🆒️ ⚠️ 🆓️, ❌️⛓️.

🍾!

⚠️👍? ⚠️👎?

- 🧲

HELLO TO YOU TOO!

[just-spacetrash]

🕵️

[peachesofteal]

Cool girl

ghoap x female reader / 18+ warning: the boys are foul - could be considered dub con / part one / part two

Two (three) can play at that game.

"When you're done being a brat, call us."

You decide within a week, that you're very much not done being a brat.

And you're very much done with them.

Fuck them, you coach yourself in the mirror as you fix your makeup. Fuck them both. And her, whoever she is, though you know she doesn't deserve your wrath. She probably has no idea the tangled web she's walked into, she's the one stuck in the trap, now.

The doorbell rings, and you check your reflection one more time, satisfied with your dress, the way it gathers across your breasts, how it flatters your shape. It's a tad short, there's a bit of cleavage, little pieces that make it more than perfect. Something about this style, the way it fits, always drove the boys nuts, so it should be more than good enough for your date.

Fuck them.

You bring him to the dive. It's a safe choice, the bartender knows you, pays attention. You feel safe here, familiar. It's a great option for a first date.

And because you're a cool girl, you don't know how to play pool.

Of course, he's happy to teach you.

You start with a tequila. It scalds on the way down and settles like fire, but it takes the edge off. One turns to two, and it's enough to get you closer, allowing him to rest his hand on your knee at the bar, allowing him to keep a hand at the small of your back as he guides you to the finally empty pool table.

He's handsy, and normally, you'd be a little put off.

But not tonight.

"Okay, it's simple. You use the white ball to break." He lines up your shot for you, folding you into place, bending forward, hand brushing against your thigh as he leans beside you.

You intentionally short the shot, barely breaking the triangle of balls free. He chuckles. "Not bad for a first go."

"What do I get if I win?" Your smile is shy, and it's only half forced. You do like this guy, he's very nice, very attractive. Tall with a strong jawline, kind eyes. His fingers find yours, and his touch is gentle, patient.

"A kiss?" He ventures, testing the waters. You nod.

"Sure thing."

You're halfway through the game when the energy in the bar shifts. It's like everyone freezes, a collective whoosh of air washing through the bodies hunched over at the bar, loitering on the walls, perched on the wrought iron chairs out back.

The regulars look at one another and then return to studying the TV, or each other, their half empty drinks.

You don't need to look, to know.

You can feel them.

Apparently, so can your date.

"Don't look, but there are two guys staring at you, across the bar." You bat your eyelashes.

"Who?" It's innocent, this kind of play. Playing dumb. It's pure, until your chin turns over your shoulder and find them, white knuckled and focused, Johnny alight with anger, Simon stoic as ever. Sadness, and rage, roar inside your head, and you force yourself to look them in their eyes. Force yourself to be brave.

After a second, you turn away and into your date. He pulls you closer, palm resting on your lower back, mouth dangerously close above your ear. "Are they bothering you?" What a nice guy.

"No." You assuage immediately. You know what would happen, if he tried to be your knight in shining armor. You know how it would end.

With blood. Broken bones. And tears.

"Let's keep playing." You suggest. "Will you show me how to hold the stick?" Your teeth hold onto the last syllable, hand wrapping around the polished length of the wood, slowly moving it up and down. Your heart pounds, but a thrill rushes through you at the same time. Fuck them. Your date raises an eyebrow, mouth cocking into a sly smile, and nods.

After your third drink, you can't delay using the bathroom anymore. Skin tingling from all the places his hands have traversed, you're dizzy with the pulse of power, the high of your performance. It's wrong, and twisted but...

they deserve it. They deserve worse.

"I'll be right back." You promise, tracing a fingernail down his arm. "Get another round?" He trots off, eager to please.

The chairs scrape as soon as you turn into the dingy hallway, and their shadows fill the air, sucking it dry. You resist the urge to turn, palm flat against the swinging door of the toilets.

"What are ye doin'?" Johnny rages, and you turn to mouth off, only to jerk backwards at the realization of how close he is. You can count the flecks of gold around his irises, see the shimmer of cerulean blue. Simon stands at his back, a wall blocking out the rest of the hall, hiding you from view.

"I'm on a date." Simon laughs.

"You call this little show a date, sweetheart? Is that what you think that is?"

"Not sure you'd know what I'm like on a date since you never took me on one." You spit, and Johnny goes rigid, muscles hardening.

"Not sure that little boy would know the first thing about handlin' ye."

"Handling me?" The squeak your voice makes is embarrassing and incredulous at the same time. "Handle me? You think I need handling? I'm a full grown woman. I don't need-" He presses closer, close enough you can smell him, and your mouth drops open when he pushes you against the wall, cock hard under his jeans. "J-johnny."

"Aye, we think ye need handlin'. Ye're only supposed to be handled by us. Not by some sad wank who cannae stop droolin' like a dog."

"Stop." The resolve in your voice wavers, your resistance cracking and crumbling as Simon appears beside him, mouth pressing to your ear.

"You think that boy has a fat cock to feed you, sweet girl? Think he knows how-" One of them cups you between your legs over the fabric of your dress, palm grinding against your clit, and you grit your teeth against the friction, the moan it tries to pull from your throat. "to take care of this pussy?"

"She's high maintenance, ye know." Johnny snickers, lips dotting your cheek, down to your neck. He cups a fistful of your breast, thumb stroking where your nipple strains beneath your bra. "Ye think he'll be able to make ye gush for him? Make ye cum on his cock?" You're boiling, anger and desire feeding twin flames, trying to sputter out a response.

"What's going on here?" Your date practically shouts from the edge of the hallway, and Simon's grin turns feral. Predatory.

Fear strikes, and turns you cold.

"D-don't." You try to implore.

"Are you okay?" Your poor date catches your gaze, and you try to will him away with your eyes.

"Leave him alone." You plead.

"Fuck off mate. This is between us and our girl. Ye're done here."

"Excuse me?" He steps closer, and Simon pushes off the wall. Desperate, you latch onto his forearm.

"Simon, please. He's not-"

"He said you're done here." Simon snarls. "Run along like a good boy."

"Fuck you." He postures, and you shake your head frantically, trying to step out between them. Johnny doesn't budge, keeping you half pinned against the wall.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Maybe you'd like to watch us fuck her, after we make you beg for it. After we stretched out your neglected little hole." Johnny laughs, a cackle full of crow, smart and mischievous, and you nearly faint. Your date looks sick.

He takes one look at you, another look at the boys... and then flees. Johnny whistles. "Coward."

When they both turn back...

you burst into tears.

[metranart]

Bakugou has a bad habit of overstimulating, you’re used to it by now, but Izuku always seems to crack the quickest.

“He seems cock-drunk, but he LOVES it when I’m needy,” the champagne-haired Pro-hero mutters shamelessly, nipping at Izuku’s earlobe. “And YOU love when we give in to you.” You utter with a cocky sort of grin, which sends a shiver down Bakugou’s spine for how challenged it makes him feel. His large hand tightens its grip on Izuku’s fat, throbbing cock, who lost the ability to produce anything other than moans over twenty minutes ago. 

“A little tighter—” 

The green-haired Pro-hero surprises you both by being able to spit out that pitiful request, and Bakugou’s crimson eyes shine, tightening his hold on him, moving his hand up and down his length more enthusiastically. From your angle you can see EVERYTHING, from Bakugou’s heavy, neglected cock trapped between Izuku’s back and his own abs as he nestles him between his strong thighs, working him with expert hands that slide up and down each side of the green-haired man being devoured in a four-limbed hug, to the way Izuku’s strong chest and marked abdomen pant, going in an alarming rhythm, up and down, as he is masturbated by his bestie and lover. 

You are worse than hypnotized by the erotic scene, because it is only when Bakugou’s free hand grabs you by the jaw and guides you in a gentle command towards the green-haired thatch that leads towards Izuku's heavy cock, that you take the hint to lick and suck his balls into your mouth. 

“Fuck, (Y/N)— just like that.” Bakugou praises you, “Izuku loooooves to have his balls played with.” 

His large hand guides you further down into Izuku's sac and you instantly gulp it into your mouth, licking and toying with each of his cum-stuffed balls. Izuku moans, his body tensing and shivering from the double attention, he tries to hold himself back, he doesn't want to cum yet but having you completely naked on his lap, worshipping his sac is too much for him, your delicious scent doesn't help either, you are clouding his senses. He's already used to Bakugou, they've been lovers for longer than he would dare to accept, he's vaccinated against his explosive charms... but YOU! God! You are a breath of fresh air that the two of them have become addicted to. You came as a one-night stand and stayed as the last side of their incomplete triangle. The missing part in their life. 

Bakugou caresses your hair as he encourages you to suck harder, you look so cute with your mouth full of his man, that he can't help but start masturbating with the friction he can get from Izuku's body between his legs. Seeing you so invested in your task has him dizzy, drunk with desire, his thumb plays with the tip of Izuku's swollen cock, the tip is flushed in a deeper tone than the rest of his body, spitting out strings of sticky white precum that drips down his knuckles. You pick up the pace and Bakugou follows, All Might’s heir shudders at the immense pleasure fading his ability to keep breathing straight, it doesn't take Bakugou long to find a steady pace, hand jerking up and down, every so often applying pressure to the back of your head for you to swallow a little more of Izuku, who is groaning as bursts of pleasure shoots through him.

“I know,” Bakugou murmurs, his voice ocean-deep and scraping across Izuku's ears in ways that only he can. He lets one hand drift down to cradle your chin, urging you to stretch your neck up and long for him to pamper you better.  “You look—good.  Like this.”

Bakugou's pumping fist glides easier the stickier it gets with Izuku's arousal. They hear you moan, your hard nipples rubbing from time to time against Izuku's thighs, Izuku can't take it anymore, he wants to pamper you as well, he wants you purring for him as you purr for kacchan. Desperately, his hand searches for your aching clit and Fuuuuck! does he find it. The rub of his fat thumb, circular motions aided by intervals between fast and slow are edging you, going straight to your sensitive core. 

"Deku-..." you moan his Hero name against his cum-filled balls, and you hear him swear. 

"That's a first." Bakugou snickers out, never having heard his beloved curse before, that's how bewitched you have him, that's how much he adores ya— so much that he goes out of his way, that’s how much you affect him! 

“God…I love the way our Hero names roll down your tongue, kitten.” Bakugou admits, all in the hopes that you'll take pity on him and say his name too. 

“…. Is that right?”

You can see Bakugou's head nodding almost frantically and your mouth curves, sinfully.

“G-Great Explosiooooon-…. Mu-murder God Dynaaaaamight, my Bakugou!” 

You can clearly hear him groan deep inside his broad chest and his pace quickens, his breath becoming more labored, the more you moan and trash under Izuku's unmerciful thumb. 

“Inside.” Izuku manages to say between gasps, eyes clenched shut, sweat rolling down his heated forehead, “...Swallow it, please… please, pleeeeeease-”

It was the gentlest growled demand you'd ever heard. Bakugou stifles a breathless laugh against his sweaty neck, and his scoff dies on his lips when in all elegant skillfulness you untangle his big hand from Izuku’s throbbing cock and swallow him down in one greedy gulp, the erect phallus of flesh disappearing into your tight esophagus as your nose hits the knot of green pubic hair. 

“(Y/N)!” Izuku gasps out, feeling an unbearable heat beginning to build in his stomach. “Oh my GOD…(Y/N)-” he squeals, his voice trailing off into a moan as he hits a certain spot in the back of your throat. Something in him seem to snap when you groan his name, the muffled syllables reverberating each nerve terminal in his body. 

Bakugou suddenly let out a low groan himself, his hands tightening in their grip on your hips. When did he slip out from under Izuku will remain a mystery to you, but the smirk stretching his mouth wickedly, tells more than a thousand words. 

"Inside." He claims as well, and without stopping to swallow the cock of the dying Izuku shivering on the squeaking mattress, you present yourself to Bakugou to let him breed you at his will.

“FUCK!” he growls, his breath coming out in short gasps. “So damn tight, my pretty girl. More. I need to fill you so bad… WE are gonna do such a good work filling you up, ain’t that right, shitty babe?” 

“Yes, yesyesyesyesyes…. I’m close… Oh God,” Izuku is out of it, totally blissed out, mumbling nonsense as his balls tighten and loose as he begins to pour little spurts of cum into your mouth.

Bakugou’s pace quickens behind you, breeding you like a madman. You mumble his name, closing up to your climax. 

“Dammit! …I’m SO close…”

Katsuki Bakugou groans again, his palms spraying sparks as he gets closer to the edge of insanity, shivering and drooling as he grunts your name and Izuku’s. “I’m close…. Izuku. I want to- I need to…-”

You let out a muffled gasp as your climax washes over you, your body tensing against Bakugou’s powerful thrust, and Izuku squeezes his eyes shut as he helps you gulp every single drop of his musky, thick ribbons of cum. Bakugou lazily thrusting, back and forwards, to aid you ride out your high. You can feel him twitch behind you as he lets his full weight fall over your body like the warmest blanket ever, his arms wrapping a bit tighter around the two of you as he cums, deep inside you.

Izuku drags down and let himself be swallow inside Bakugou’s embrace as he presses a kiss to your forehead, holding you tightly against his chest as he comes down from his high. Both their breaths coming out in ragged gasps, their frames shaking slightly as they try to steady their breathing. Both keeping you pressed up against them, such a possessiveness in their grip that you felt owned and branded, you don’t recognize whose arms wrap tightly around your waist or whose leg hook over yours to keep you stuck.

“So, are we husband material or do you need more proof?” Bakugou asks with a breathy chuckle, burying his face into the crook of your neck. Bringing yet again a topic that according to you had already been discarded.

“Please, say you need more proof, darling.” Izuku begins, placing soft kisses on your skin, planting them down your neck as you shiver, a very real shiver, because there is something way too possessive in the way they are looking at you, with such unashamed adoration and especially in the way, both slowly extend a greedy palm on top of your belly, as if calling dibs... 

➡️ FULL NSFW ART of this drabble

➡️ 👀 NSFW Sneak Peek

[luveline]

Hi !!! Can I request something romantic between shy reader and spence? maybe he’s like trying to teacher her something and they’re alone? IDK WRITE WHATEVER U WANNA RIGHT ILL EAT IT UP REGARDLESS <3

Your stomach hurts and you need to pee, but you’re stuck. You’ve been trying to submit your virtual paperwork for the last two hours. Why have they made it this difficult? You’re beginning to wonder if you’re being hazed. 

Spencer told you it was easy. Well, he’d put a cup of tea on your desk (for which you hadn’t asked but gratefully accepted), seen you were starting your paperwork, and said, “I’ll see you for lunch in half an hour?” with a knowing smile. 

You’d smiled back. You want to be in the know with him, even if you’d needed a ten minute recovery period after he left to learn to breathe through your nose again. 

But it became clear after half an hour you wouldn’t be taking lunch, let alone joining him. Nervous sweat dampens your hands and the back of your shirt, and your face burns with heat —why is the office scorching? You’re in hell. 

You click another button, sure you’ve found the right process, but a yellow triangle appears with an exclamation mark inside. Function suppressed, it says.   

“Oh, good,” Spencer says, approaching from behind, a coffee. “I thought you stood me up. You’re struggling with the system?” 

“I wouldn’t say struggling.” 

“You don’t need any help, then?” 

“Please,” you say softly, worried someone else will hear you. You don’t want anyone in the team nor the unit to realise how inept you are. It’s bad enough that Spencer’s cottoned on. “I can’t get it to work.”

“I was kidding,” he says, smiling tentatively at you. “Let me get my chair.” 

Spencer tortures you sitting beside you, knee to knee and arm over your arm as he guides your mouse to the right page, then the correct paperclip. His watch falls down his wrist and brushes your skin with each direction, spurring chills all over. “You’re pretty much done,” he says. 

“I don’t know why I was so confused,” you say bashfully. 

“Because it’s a confusing system.” He smells like warm vanilla. You wish you could ask him about it, but you’ve a job to talk this close to him. 

“Thank you for helping.” 

He clicks through the last part of your file to check for any missing paperclips before he sends it off. “You’re welcome.” Then, because he secretly hates you, he takes your arm into his hand with achingly careful fingers. “Are you cold?” He rubs at your goosebumps. He has really nice hands, with strong veins. He moves purposefully. 

Another rush of goosebumps down your arm. “Are you okay?” he asks, his eyebrows tugged together worriedly. 

“I’m just,” —mortified— “embarrassed about the paperwork. I didn’t know there would be this many online responsibilities involved, I would’ve looked them up.”

Spencer’s eyebrows rise as your sentence ends. You’d mangled ‘looked them up’, said it breathless as his hand curled around your fingers. 

“Don’t worry about all of that. You can always ask me for help. Right? I sit right there.” He points to his desk. “Did you forget?”

Something about his tone suggests that he already knows you didn’t forget, but he takes your thank you gracefully, and continues pretending you’re cold rather than physically affected by his touch. He’s nice like that. 

“Here, in case you’re still cold,” he says, too casual, draping his suit jacket over your shoulders.

Not that nice. 

[criminalyun]

THE CLICHÉS | an enhypen series

a series of cliché’s with each enhypen member !

genre :: romance, fluff, angst, suggestive content, smut.

taglist: @heelovesmeknot @kissestoenha @cloud-lyy @sussycheetos @eneiyri @jaeyunzlovr @crimnalseung @skzesty @jvjsssnaa @slut4hee @304files @peachyun02 @laurradoesloveu @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @niinjo @cha0thicpisces @run2min @parksunghoonsgf @moonnssun @nshmrarki @seokseokjinkim @kookify @minniejenseo @chaeyunloveeee @brachives @kimsunoops @oopshee @harryedwardtris @letwiiparkjay @jjklvr9 @nikiswifiee @monstanctiny21 @ramenoil @lolmolomolo @kim2005bomi @yunhoswrldddd @xxbluestrifexx @jakeflvrs @sheepgardenbahhhh @shawnyle @heyniki @capri-cuntz @shawnyle @heyniki @llvrhee @deobitifull @jakeyjakey021115 @vveebee @seunghancore @roastandtoast (open! feel free to ask to be on it!)

volume one :: the brothers best friend cliché

pairing: sim jaeyun x fem!reader

summery: having a crush on your brothers best friend for four years was never easy - especially having to deal with not only the strict rule your brother put in place of not dating his friends, but also his best friend being a playboy. what happens when summer arrives and your brother, jay, returns to your families holiday home with not only a new friend, but also his best friend, jake sim, and this time, he's different.

genre: brothers best friend au, slow burn, forbidden love, fluff, angst, smut.

warnings: minors dni, jake smokes, alcohol, second lead jungwon :(, slight cheating??, jake is a bit of a dick icl, dry humping in public?, making out, name calling

word count: 32k

release date: may 6th 2024

read volume one here!

read part two here!

──────────────

volume two :: the fake dating cliché

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

summery: having a crush on the schools popular boy, lee heeseung when you stood zero chance to be with him was the worst — until, his cold, best friend, park sunghoon offers you a deal. be his fake girlfriend to not only help him get away from his crazy ex, but also get heeseung’s attention. how could you decline?

genre: fake dating au, kinda slow burn, unrequited love, fluff, angst, smut

warnings: minors dni, body image issues, bullying (more to be added)

word count: tba

release date: tba

read volume two here!

──────────────

volume three :: the last love cliché

pairing: yang jungwon x fem!reader

summery: you didn’t know it was possible to enjoy living again after the death of your sister, but when you meet yang jungwon, a cheerful boy, who ends up changing your perspective of things, you couldn’t the more happier with him. that is until the unexpected happens…

genre: friends to lovers au, the last & first love au, slow burn?, ANGST, fluff and smut.

warnings: minors dni, character death, you have a toxic best friend :(, trauma (more to be added)

word count: tba

release date: tba

read volume three here!

──────────────

volume four :: the bad boy x good girl cliché

pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader

summery: with the influence of your best friends, you decide to confess to a boy in your class on valentine’s day, however things don’t go to plan and your note ends up in lee heeseung — the schools bad boys — hands. when he finds out the confession was never meant for him and that you don’t like him at all, he’s left feeling intrigued and desperate to find out more.

genre: bad boy x good girl au, slow burn, love triangle w jay, wrong confession, fluff, angst, smut.

warnings: minors dni, heeseung is mean!!, jay second lead :(, major bullying & trauma, heeseung smokes, alcohol & drug usage (more to be added)

word count: tba

release date: tba

read volume four here!

──────────────

volume five :: the summer fling cliché

pairing: park jongseong x fem!reader

summery: going on a family holiday to jeju was something you had mixed feelings about — however, once arriving and seeing that your waiter was probably the most attractive boy you’d ever seen made you change your mind. with many (secret) flirtatious glances and note passing, you were bound to end up in his bed by the end of the vacation, right? what happens when the holiday comes to an end and you have to leave one another forever?

genre: summer fling au, forbidden love, fluff, angst, smut.

warnings: minors dni, sneaking around (more to be added)

word count: tba

release date: tba

read volume five here!

──────────────

volume six :: the enemies to lovers cliché

pairing: nishimura riki x fem!reader

summery: normally, the captain of the football team and captain of the cheerleading squad are suppose to fall in love and be complete relationship goals for everyone else, right? well, that could never be possible with you and nishimura niki because you despise one another. ever since nursery, when he cut your pigtail as a ‘joke’, so you decided to stick gooey, slime in his hair. the hatred you felt for one another would never end, and you swore on it — that was, until you both get locked inside a storage room for five hours…

genre: enemies to lovers au, forced proximity, fluff, suggest content?.

warnings: NO SMUT!! making out, niki & reader are mean to each other, prank pulling etc (more to be added)

word count: tba

release date: tba

read volume six here!

──────────────

volume seven :: the opposite attract cliché

pairing: kim sunoo x fem!reader

summery: you had heard all about the happy-go-lucky, popular boy, kim sunoo, and you knew that you’d never be compatible. he was someone who always saw the good in things and gave people second chances, whereas you were the complete opposite. you preferred being alone and always saw the bad before the good. what happens when you’re paired with kim sunoo for an art project and a whole new perspective of life is shown to you?

genre: opposite attract au, grumpy x sunshine, fluff, angst and smut.

warnings: minors dni, readers a loner & kinda depressed, (more to be added)

word count: tba

release date: tba

read volume seven here!

[whocaresstillthelouvre]

Wonderwall

Rating: Teen Pairing: No Outbreak Joel Miller x Female Reader Word Count: 4,550 Summary: Your ex boyfriend Simon is marrying Sabrina, the woman he left you for. You were sure you'd have have a date in time for his wedding... too bad you were wrong. Once again. your best friend Maria has to save the day by letting you use her handsome, single brother-in-law that owes her a favor as your date. Warnings: fluff, idk what's going on with me but there's so much fluff, soft joel, fake wedding date, rom com vibes, crying over a broken vibrator, no outbreak, maria and tommy are married, sarah and kevin live, british ex boyfriend, reader and joel are close in age (reader is 36, joel is 40), alcohol, i know the gif is marcus pike but i can't stop seeing young joel in this gif, anyways here's wonderwall, no use of y/n, not beta read

A/N: This was written for @justagalwhowrites' Joel Miller Birthday Celebration. Thank you to the always wonderful @ohheypedrito for suggesting the fake dating trope when I asked her what to write.

Masterlist

Fizzy mimosas, fluffy pancakes, crispy hash browns, and sweet maple syrup. Brunch on Sundays with Maria has been a long standing tradition for the two of you. Fifteen years of friendship kept stronger by always promising to make time for each other no matter what is going on in your lives.

These days, Maria’s raising a toddler while building a very successful career in the Austin district attorney's office whereas last night you cried over your vibrator dying while trying to pull an orgasm out of you for an endorphin rush. God knows you need one.

You’ve been in a hole since the arrival of Simon’s wedding invitation. The man you spent your most youthful and fulfilling years with is now marrying Sabrina, the beautiful co-worker he crashed your relationship for. Yeah, yeah, your twenty year partnership was already headed for the cliff, but her perky tits and pouty lips sure did speed up the demise. 

“So, Simon’s wedding is next weekend, how do you feel?” Maria interrogates from across the table.

“Fine!” you stuff a pancake triangle into your mouth. “It’s fine! I’m fine!”

“Mm,” she lifts a skeptical eyebrow. Why do you lie to her? She makes three figures locking away liars, she can spot them a mile away. “Let me guess, you still don’t have a date?”

“Ugh, no, why did I mark two on the RSVP?” 

“I told you not to,” Maria shakes her head 

“Yeah, but, I-I want to show him I’m doing great without him.”

“Babe,” Maria grabs your hand and squeezes it, “I say this with all the love in my heart… you’re not doing great.”

“I knoooow!” you sigh, closing your eyes. “I just thought… I’d show up in my pretty dress with a hot man on my arm and show Simon I’m happy and fulfilled without his love.”

“But you don’t ha–”

“Please, I know. I just– I’m happy for him in some really odd way but I also want to be… happy for myself.”

“Okay,” she nods before taking a deep breath, “here’s what I’m going to do for you. You know Joel?”

“Your… brother-in-law?”

“Yes, he owes me a favor, soooo, he’s going to be your date,” she sits back folding her arms across her chest with a smug smirk. “He’s handsome as hell and a good man but he’s very quiet and intimidating to those who don’t know him. He’s perfect for this situation.” 

You do know Joel… just not very well at all. There have been random run-ins at Miller family parties, but nothing more than a quick “hello” and “how are you?” exchanged between the two of you. He seems the opposite of your Dartmouth educated, polo playing yuppie of an ex. “Yoo hoo,” Maria waves her hand in front of your face catching your attention. “Does that work for you?”

“Oh, sorry, yeah, I think… it does,” a relieved smile lifts your face.  

Maria has, once again, fixed your problem. 

—-

RING… RING… RING… 

Your fingers nervously tap against the countertop. “Come on, pick uuup, pick uuuup, pick uuu–”

“Miller,” a deep voice answers.

“H-Hi, uh, Joel?” You feel a third your age, like you’re right back in middle school calling the cute boy in your science class because your friend dared you. 

“Speaking.”

“Hey, uh, you’re my wedding date? Maria… she gave me your number so we can plan?”

“Oh, yes,” his voice softens. “Saturday, right?”

“Yeah, uh… I think it might be good to go over a story for us before the big day.”

“Right,” he chuckles, “I’m all ears.”

—-

Your eyes roam down your notes from the call. “So, we formally met at Kevin’s graduation party. I call you ‘honey’, our first date was to a movie and then to pizza. We’ve been together for a little over a year. You hate sushi and love tamales. You don’t like water slides. You play the guitar. You have a daughter named Sarah who’s a senior in high school. You own a construction company with Tommy… I think that’s about right?”

"Believe so," the bass of his quiet voice causes goosebumps to pebble your skin. If he's doing this to you over the phone, what will the wedding be like?

"Okay," you settle against your sofa, "and for me?" 

Papers shuffle before Joel clears his throat. “Hm, okay. I asked Tommy for your number after Kevin’s graduation party. You work at an insurance company, but you dream of owning your own bookstore one day. You love mashed potatoes. I call you 'baby.' Your favorite color is bronze. You’re a night owl forced to be an early bird. You love Taylor Swift unapologetically. You like staying over at my home because your favorite coffee place delivers to my house.”

“Perfect. I know this is totally weird and all, but, thanks for doing this. Sometimes I allow my pride to sabotage me... and Maria has to come in and save me.”

“She’s good at that.”

“Thanks again Joel.”

“You’re welcome,” his voice feels you with warmth. “I’ll pick you up on Saturday.” 

“Yes, Saturday. Until then, have a good week.”

“You too.”

After saying goodbye, you hang up with a plume of butterflies in your stomach. 

—

“Okay! Get ready!” you shout from behind your bathroom door. 

Your Sunday brunch date with Maria has been moved up to a Saturday afternoon primping and preening spree in your home as she helps you get ready to watch the once love of your life marry someone else. 

You step out of the bathroom to find Maria sitting cross-legged on your bed. As soon as she sees you, she leans forward with wide eyes.

"Wow," she breathes, her voice filled with awe. "I mean, seriously, wow."

"Really?" you ask, giving a twirl in your mauve dress, adorned with a delicate print of sequined flowers blooming across the bodice.

“Really,” her eyebrow angles as she nods, “I can’t wait for Miller to have to deal with keeping his cool around you.”

“What?”

Maria just smiles, “Let’s just say, you look hot, that’s all I’m going to say.” 

___

A shiny black truck pulls into your driveway. Panic jolts through you as you watch the door swing open from your front window. Out steps Joel Miller, impeccably dressed in a black suit. Oh good lord–he’s your date. Like, date date, as in the guy you’re going to be spending the rest of the night with. The anxiety over Simon and Sabrina’s wedding fades into the background, replaced by the overwhelming challenge of maintaining your composure in the presence of someone who looks that stunning in a tuxedo.

The doorbell rings. 

Okay, okay, you got this.

A gust of pleasant autumn air hits your skin when you open the door. Oh good LORD, he looks incredible. His hair is longer than you remember, falling in gentle waves you dream of running your fingers through. His beard is neatly trimmed, though slightly patchy with a strong mustache that frames his plush lips. He has a shy smile, his dimple makes a divot you want to press your finger into. His simple black suit stretches around his obviously toned and broad shoulders. 

“Hi, it’s uh, nice to see you again. Come on in,” you say, opening the door wider and stepping aside. 

“Course,” he replies, striding in past you. His hand twitches nervously when he turns and takes how you look fully in. “You look– y’look beautiful.” 

A flush of warmth spreads through you at the compliment from the most handsome man you’ve ever seen, now standing in the middle of your living room. 

“Oh, thanks, uh, it’s not every day your ex boyfriend of twenty years gets married to the woman he left you for… so I guess I needed to show off.”

“It’s–yeah–good,” he stammers, his eyes darting around the room, clearly avoiding your gaze.

“Well, uh, I just need to slip on my shoes and grab my bag, then we can get going. Make yourself at home.” 

“Sure thing.” 

As you head down the hall to get your things, you hear him let out a long sigh. 

Don’t worry dude, I get it. It’s going to be a long night. 

“So, um, I know, this is awkward,” you say, returning to the living room and dropping your shoes on the floor, “but I’m really grateful to you.”

He chuckles, sitting on the edge of your couch. “S’alright. I can’t say no to a free meal and open bar.” 

“If I still know Simon’s taste, it’ll be a top-notch open bar too,” you muse, slipping into your high heel and bending over to fasten the buckle. 

You glance up when you hear Joel’s breath catch. He’s staring intently at you–more specifically, at your exposed leg and thigh, courtesy of the high slit in your dress. 

You really had to pick the dress that Maria dubbed “the revenge dress,” didn’t you? He clears his throat and quickly averts his gaze, but the charged atmosphere lingers. You try to ignore it, buckle your other shoe and grab your clutch.

“Ready?” you ask. 

“I am," he replies, standing up and adjusting his neck tie, a hint of color warms his cheeks. . 

—-

Joel’s truck looks quite out of place pulling into the Hurts Family’s grand estate. Of course Simon’s getting married at Father & Mother’s sprawling manor. You can’t help but wonder if the altar and ceremony will be located in the same conservatory you and Simon lost your virginity to each other in. 

The whole drive over, you and Joel practiced your spiels, all the while you tried to ignore the waves of attraction that vibrated between you and him in the small cab of his truck.

He pulls up to the valet and reluctantly hands his keys over to the college aged kid before hurrying over to your door, cutting in front of the doorman to help you down. What a gentleman.

Soft violin music floats through the air and white flower petals line the walkway leading into the massive estate that once felt like your second home. A nagging thought lingers in the back of your mind that you’re about to live what should’ve been your wedding day. 

You breathe out deeply, Joel grabs your hand as he guides you into the house. 

People mingle, some you don’t know, many you do. Aunt Billie, Uncle Martin, the cousins from Manchester, Simon’s favorite professor. Familiar faces surround you, what the hell were you thinking this would be okay?

You’ve known this home since you were twelve, Simon showed up in your seventh grade algebra class, a new student with bright blue eyes and blonde hair, you thought he was the prettiest boy you had ever seen, even before he spoke… the British accent would’ve been enough to sweep you off your feet. It took a couple years of friendship before you both admitted your crushes on each other, the confessions happened in the movie room, just down the hallway you stand near.

Love is fleeting, love is hopeless. You’ve learned to care for yourself like Simon once cared for you, but now in this home you used to sneak into, you feel just as alone as you did the day you moved out of the house you shared with him for a decade just two streets down from here. 

“Hey, you okay?” Joel leans in and whispers. “Squeezin’ my hand mighty hard.”

“Oh,” you blink, refocusing on him, “I am, it’s just… really bizarre and everything. Seeing so many familiar people I haven't seen in years feels strange.”

“You’re doing good, I got you,” he says, letting go of your hand, and wrapping his arm around your waist, guiding you farther into the mansion. 

___

The impressive altar stands in the conservatory–you know your ex well– this windowed dwelling means everything to him. Everywhere you look, peach and champagne flowers are nestled among lush green foliage. You and Joel settle eight rows back on the groom's side, just a few feet from the bench you lost your virginity on. Jamie, Simon’s friend from college, sends you a kind smile when you sit next to him. 

Your foot taps nervously against the stone tile, keeping rhythm with the soft string music lilting through the air. You take a deep breath to center yourself as the processional begins. The family minister you’ve known since you were fifteen leads the way then–Simon. Still just as handsome, in that specific pretty way that drew you to him as a teenager. The slight waves of his dark blonde hair are more controlled and slicked back. His slender body is topped by wide shoulders from all his years of playing polo. His equally handsome brother Liam follows, along with a handful of friends you used to consider your own. 

Joel’s arm wraps around you as Simon takes his place at the altar, his fingers resting firmly on your bare shoulder just in time for the bridal procession to begin. Everybody takes their rightful places waiting for the bride. Simon stands at the altar, laser focused on the doorway, oddly, you feel a sense of happiness for him. Maybe you feel less lonely with the comfort of Joel’s strong arm around you, maybe you’re just caught up in the emotions of the day. 

As you expected, Lia and Ewan, Simon’s niece and nephew, are the ring bearer and flower girl. You were at the hospital when both of them were born. You taught both of them how to swim. They used to call you their aunt. 

The small orchestra begins playing “The Wedding March,” the audience stands in anticipation of Sabrina’s entrance. The curtains part and she appears shimmering down the aisle in her ivory dress. Okay, you have to admit, she looks gorgeous. Joel pulls you closer, his hand rests against your hip as Sabrina and her father pass your row. You’re grateful for his presence, even if it’s just a comforting distraction that just happens to be pretend.

The look on Simon’s face is unmistakable when he takes Sabrina’s hand–it’s the same look he would give you whenever he told you loved you all those thousands upon thousands of times. 

You take your seat, Joel’s hand finds your shoulder once more. It’s going to be damn hard to concentrate on the ceremony.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today.

—

You survive the ceremony… thanks to Joel and his calloused hand rubbing circles on your shoulder. As Simon and Sabrina lead the recessional out of the conservatory, Simon spots you and sends you a knowing wink and smile when he spots Joel next to you. Maybe it’s a good thing you attended, it’s the final picket placed in the closure fence. 

“You good?” Joel whispers in your ear while watching the rest of the party leave. You turn to respond, failing to realize his face is now right next to yours. His lips now sit a breath away from yours. Panic slips in, overwhelmed by the thought of anyone catching an awkward moment like this, especially since you’re the ex girlfriend the groom left for his brand new bride. 

Fuck it. You lean forward and place your lips against his, leaving a delicate peck against them. At least now you’ll have this moment that’s just for you. 

—

The warm autumn sun is beginning to set casting the preened and pristine gardens of the Hurts Estate in amber tones. Thank god for the cocktail hour and open bar. 

You sip your champagne and smile at a few familiar faces while gazing out upon the vast lawns you used to spend lazy days sunbathing and playing croquet on. What a bizarre homecoming of sorts. Joel is taking his role seriously, constantly checking on you and never leaving your side.

A familiar voice calls your name, pulling you from your reverie.

“Oh sweetheart! It’s so lovely to see you!” Simon’s mother, Adeline, greets you with kisses on both cheeks before pulling you into a warm hug. You’ve always liked the woman and she always adored you. She turns to your date, her eyes lighting up when she looks Joel up and down. 

“Addy, this is my boyfriend Joel.” A rush of excitement is sent through you at the simple introduction. “Joel, this is Simon’s mom, Adeline.”

“Good evening ma’am,” Joel says, extending his hand to shake hers gently. “It’s quite beautiful here.”

“Oh, thank you! Aside from our two boys, this is our pride and joy. There’s nothing better than seeing your child get married in the place you call home.” . 

“Well, I’ve heard a lot of nice things about this place, you have a lot of good memories here, right baby?” Joel looks at you with an affectionate smile. Oh he’s good.

“I do,” you smile warmly at Addy. 

“Oh sweetheart! That makes me so happy! You’re always welcome here, I’m so happy Simon invited you!”

“I am too, it’s so nice to see you,” you say, realizing how much you truly miss her. You spent twenty years of your life around so many of these people before being cut off cold turkey from them.  

���Shoot! I better keep moving and making my rounds! Do enjoy the bar, and make sure tell them Addy sent you; they’ll give you the real good stuff. Joel, are you a whiskey man?”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel replies with a nod.

“We’ve got some Old Rip Van Winkle, aged 25 years. Just tell them Adeline insists and they’ll pour you a glass.” 

“Thank you ma’am,” Joel says gratefully.

“Oh, I like him darling!” Addy winks before turning to leave, her gold dress gleaming just as bright as her personality. 

—

The large tent erected for the ceremony glows in pink and orange hues. Chandeliers hang from the ceiling overflowing with roses and garlands. It’s gorgeous and opulent everywhere you look. 

You’ve been nervous about your table assignment since you sent in your RSVP. Who will you be stuck with? You prayed it would be strangers versus people you used to call friends. You thank your lucky stars when you’re led to table eleven, where you’re greeted warmly by strangers. You tell your new tablemates you’re an old friend of Simon’s, Joel grabs your hand and gently holds it while you introduce yourselves,  shocked you still haven’t had to utilize the stories you and him invented. 

Ladies and gentlemen! Please welcome for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Simon Hurts! 

The two lovebirds make their grand entrance, glowing and grinning in their newlywed aura before the symphonic melody of “Can’t Help Falling In Love” begins to play. Hilarious, the last time you heard this song it was on a playlist Sabrina had made for Simon… a couple weeks before your ultimate separation. You got into a fight over the amount of times he’d play it, he told you were overreacting and being dramatic, you should’ve trusted your instincts right then and there.

They look so happy and gorgeous together, dancing their first dance surrounded by all of their loved ones inside this picturesque setting. It should’ve been you…

Joel leans in closer, wrapping his arm around you, stealing your attention from your spiraling thoughts. “I can’t play this song on violin or cello, but I can play it on guitar, maybe I can play it for you sometime.” 

You look up at him, your eyes locking with his, “I–I’d like that.” 

“Thought you would,” he smirks, before leaning down to place a tender kiss on your forehead.

He’s been touching you all night, always considerate and tender, as if he holds an actual amount of reverence in his heart for you. God, he’s either the sweetest man to ever live, or he should give up the construction job, move to Hollywood and start acting. 

—

Simon and Sabrina make their rounds after dinner, they’re a table away laughing and galavanting with friends you used to call your own. It’s been over a year since you last spoke to him and now as the ultimate final thing you’ve been dreading is near, you’re nervous as hell. Joel casually drapes his arm around the back of your chair before leaning forward and pressing his lips to the top of your head, helping subside some of your anxieties. 

“You good?” he checks in with a soft whisper. 

You nod, scooting closer into the shell he’s created for you with his large body. 

Simon catches your eye with a warm, gentle smile as he leads Sabrina over to your table. You can’t be too mad at him, he’s been nothing but a gentleman since he forced the end of your already faltering relationship. Sabrina, well–she was just a better match for him. You wish them well, no matter how much it still seemingly hurts. You just want Simon to miss you a little bit.

The newlyweds greet the rest of the table, collecting well-wishes and flattery from the guests before turning their attention to you and Joel. 

Simon bends forward and gives you a tight hug before thanking you and saying how lovely it is to see you. Sabrina says hello, you tell her she looks beautiful, she returns the favor. 

Simon extends his hand to Joel and introduces himself. “I’m Simon, I’m sure you’ve heard a bit about me–hopefully some good,” he says, his ever present British charm helps cut through the tension radiating off of Joel’s gruff reservedness. 

“She has,” Joel replies, shaking Simon’s hand. “I’m Joel. Nice to meet you both. Congrats. S’been a lovely wedding.”

The four of you make casual conversation. Joel mentions he’s a contractor, Simon’s eyes light up before he mentions how he wants to build a pool house. Your heart twinges a bit when you remember it’s all for pretend and there’s no way Joel could take the job. Joel makes a joke about how dinner was better than a No. 5 from Whataburger, eliciting a ruckus laugh from the newlyweds. You feel good, until the sinking feeling inside rears its ugly head and reminds you this is all a sham. 

Sabrina nods to Simon in an unspoken understanding that they need to move on with their greetings. Joel wishes them well and thanks them for the lovely party. You smile and do the same. 

“It’s good to see you happy,” Simon says as he gives you a parting hug. 

If only he knew…

You’re quiet as you watch Simon and Sabrina walk away, Simon’s hand is placed on Sabrina’s back lightly stroking up and down. Joel softly says your name, breaking your concentration on the happy married couple. 

“I like this song, let’s dance,” he says, rising and extending his hand to you. 

“Wonderwall?” you ask, taking his hand and letting him lead you to the dance floor. “Let me guess, you can play it on guitar.” 

“I do,” he confirms with a smile, pulling you close against his body. His large hand splays against your lower back, and yours finds its place on his firm shoulder. The wedding band has slowed the song down, couples gently sway around you. The twinkling lights above reflect in Joel’s dark brown eyes. You can’t stop looking at him, he can’t stop looking at you. The moment is intimate, to any other wedding guest, you look like a couple just as in love as the newlyweds. 

You rest your head against his chest, breathing in the scent of his cologne–woodsy, smoky, with a hint of cinnamon. His thumb strokes against the skin of your hand as your bodies synchronistically move together. This doesn't feel like pretending at all.

The song ends, Joel makes no move to pull away, and you don’t either. The first notes of the next song begin and you recognize the drumbeat anywhere. You can’t believe you’re hearing it here, of all places.

“We can leave the Christmas lights up till January…”

“Ohh,” you let out a soft sigh against Joel’s chest, feeling your heart drop. “This was going to be our first dance song, I-I told him it as soon as I first heard it all those years ago.”

Joel tilts his head down, his concerned brown eyes peer into yours. “M’sorry, did you want to stop?”

“No, no, it’s–I can’t leave the floor during this. What if he sees me?”

Joel nods reassuringly before tightening his hold on you and pulling your joined hands in closer. His head rests on top of yours engulfing you with his broad body, like your own personal fake wedding date security blanket. 

Your heartbreak slowly dissipates, mended by the gentle touch and attention of Joel. The song ends, he asks if you want to get a breath of fresh air, you gratefully nod before taking his hand and telling him you know a place.

—

The breeze rolling off the lake sends a chill across your skin, Joel takes notice, quickly removing his jacket and places it over your shoulders without hesitation.

“Thanks,” you say, sinking into the leftover warmth of Joel.

“No problem,” he says, shuffling his neck tie open and unbuttoning the top two buttons of his crisp white dress shirt. “I’m burnin’ up under it.”

You both fall into a comfortable silence as you watch the tranquil waves lap at the shore. “Sorry about earlier. It was just… a shock to hear that song. He moved on so quickly and I feel like I’ve just been left wondering how I can so easily be… replaced.” 

“No need to apologize,” he sighs, “I’m not good at any of this stuff, but, you don’t seem like someone that’s so… easy to get over.” 

Your heart skips a beat when you look over at him. The soft ambient glow of the full moon reflecting off the water bathes him in an almost ethereal glow, making him look like a knight in shining armor who walked through a portal to help save you from your own wounded heart you’ve been trying to heal for the past two years. 

“Guess you just don’t know me very well then,” you joke, trying to slow down the thoughts racing within your heart and mind. 

“No, but I think I’d like to,” he says, turning to you with a sincere look in his eyes. 

“I-I’d like that too.” 

Joel hesitates for a moment before asking, “There’s a new Curtis & Viper movie releasing next week. Did you want to go with me?”

“Like a real date?” you ask, your voice tinged with excitement.

“Suppose it would be. We could recreate our ‘first’ date that we told that one aunt of Simon’s all about. We’ll get pizza at the place across the street.”

“I’d love that,” you say, your excitement clear in your voice. 

From across the yard, you can just make out the sound of the band playing for the wedding guests. 

Joel takes a deep breath and turns to you with a warm, playful smile. “I feel better asking you here so you know I’m being for real. I really want to dance with you. May I have this dance?” 

“I’d love nothing more,” you reply, a smile spreading across your face as he pulls you closer.

You remind yourself to send Maria a bouquet of flowers for setting up your fake wedding date as you settle into his embrace.

[syoddeye]

finger

kate laswell x f!reader | ~3.6k words tags: alcohol, age gap (Kate is in her late 40s, Reader is in her 30s), cunnilingus, fingering, slight mommy kink, x2 'good girls', x1 'brat', porn with a dash of plot a/n: kate isn't married in this. reader has hair long enough for kate to grab. happy pride.

Forty swipes deep into dating app hell and down to the dregs of a beer, the bartender exchanges your glass for a tumbler. Face smushed into a palm, you stare incredulously at the liquor. You definitely didn’t order whiskey. Definitely can’t afford it. Even at a dive like this, your budget demands whatever’s on special, tonight being Rainier.

You’re quick to correct the bartender. No way you’re overdrafting again. “Hey–I didn’t order this.”

A knowing smile curves his mouth, and he jerks his head over a shoulder. “No, but she did.”

It’s a surprise your neck doesn’t snap when you look and a second that your jaw doesn’t hit the counter on its way to the floor. The she in question sits at the corner with her arm draped over the back of another stool. Older than you, maybe by a decade. She looks like a suit or off-duty fed, with a dress shirt undone to the top of her sternum, a blazer draped over her seat, and sandy hair pulled into a bun. Your eyes linger on the triangle of skin below her neck, and heat rushes up your neck when they pan to her face.

Though the color is difficult to discern in the dim light, they’re half-lidded and fixed to you over the rim of her glass. She taps the top of the empty seat beside her—as if the free drink wasn't a clear enough invitation.

Not your usual type, but a drink is a drink. It’s polite to respond.

Your thumb swipes the app shut, and you pocket your phone, scooting off your stool on an invisible leash. A warm ball of excitement tugging you across the sticky floor, slowing time in your head. You ferry the whiskey like it’s some grand gift, desperately not wanting to spill a drop and make a fool of yourself in front of whoever the hell this woman is.

Her eyes drop, appraising you on the approach. You think you might be buzzing as loud as the lights. 

“Hi,” you pass behind as her arm lifts off the stool, allowing you to sidle into the gap between and hoist yourself up. You set the whiskey on a coaster and tap it with a finger. “Thanks for the drink.”

“Hope neat’s alright.” She replies, head tilting slightly, body turning angling toward you. “Bad day?”

“Bad night,” you correct sheepishly. “I, uh, had a date but they canceled at the last second.”

Her tongue clicks, setting her glass down to undo the cuff buttons of her sleeves. “That’s bad manners. Their loss, though. You’re a knockout.”

The way she says it so casually, oozing confidence you only dream of, momentarily stuns you. You’ve been called ‘cute’ and ‘pretty’, but—Your brain short circuits at the sight of her deftly rolling her sleeves. Slight tan, a dusting of freckles, and a couple of interesting scars. Your eyes flick to hers, an amused smile telling you she’s caught you ogling for the second time.

“Thanks. That’s kind of you to say.” you finally reply, taking a sip of the whiskey in a move you hope exudes poise.

She tucks the fabric to one elbow and starts the other. “It looked like you could use something stronger. Thought a finger or two would help.”

The whiskey nearly shoots out of your nose, but you swallow after an embarrassing choke.

She merely chuckles and extends a hand to pat your back gently. “Of bourbon, that is.”

“Y-Yeah, no, I know,” you sputter and pluck a cocktail napkin from a stack, wiping your mouth and praying for a spontaneous, you-sized sinkhole to open beneath your seat.

“I’m Kate.” She rubs a slow circle near the top of your spine, then flattens her hand to rest her thumb on the nape of your neck. It brushes over the skin once when you give her your name. She repeats it, lifting her glass. “I’ll take their place for the night, unless you object?”

The assertiveness is a stark contrast to your fumbling and the coy indecisiveness of women you typically attract. The question hangs off her tongue, dangling like a worm on a hook. She wants you to bite, you feel it in the heat of her gaze, and let her in. She must be a fed with a focus like that; no way she’s corporate. You’ve lived in the DMV long enough to spot them. Can’t throw a rock without hitting one, anyway. 

You smile, feeling the warmth of Kate’s palm through your shirt. “I’d like that.” 

“Yeah? Good.” She sips, shifting further until her knee skims the outside of your thigh. “Tell me about yourself, kid.”

That does something for you, and you file it away for later. You mirror Kate’s posture, turning so your knees interlace. You know how intimate this must look to the handful of other patrons, to the bartender, as if you’re already a couple. Yet it feels natural, like you’re supposed to meld into the complete stranger because she bought you a drink. A breath slips out when her hand leaves your back, the angle too far to be comfortable, and drops to your kneecap. It’s like a game of chicken, all these small touches, and you kind of want to lose.

You prattle off the basics. How you moved to D.C. two years ago for work, how the city’s grown on you, and on a tangent, that you’re actually pretty lonely. It spills out of you freely, unable to look away from the steel blues seemingly hanging off every word. It’s the most attention you’ve received outside of work in a long time. It’s that and the whiskey, must be, why the butterflies in your stomach migrate to your chest, evolving into the thrum of a bird’s wings. 

To your quiet delight, her attention isn’t the only thing she gives you—it’s her interest. She hums and affirms. She asks questions. Digs into the meat of the story you spout off about your shitty landlord. And she squeezes your knee when you share how you spent the last holiday alone in the city. You try to turn it around once or twice, though you abandon that line of questioning after she tells you she’s a ‘contractor’.

Before you know it, you’re finished with a second whiskey and incredibly warm and wanting.

Kate hits you with the Let’s get out of here and loops an arm around your waist outside the bar. In the cab, you let her slide her hand up your leg, stopping in time to eat up your pathetic whine with a languid kiss. Though she pays the fare, you leave a big tip—an apology for the makeout he couldn’t’ve missed through the rearview.

You float through the hotel lobby in a haze of alcohol and lust, barely appreciating the swankiness of the place. Whatever ‘contractor’ really means, it pays well. She practically lassoes you into the elevator with one arm, her suit jacket draped over the other. 

“You can back out anytime.” She says, punching the button for her floor. “No hurt feelings.”

The blood in your veins itches with need as you grab her waist and haul her closer. You unabashedly stare, glossy-eyed. This woman, who’s been nothing but kind and attentive and generous—you want to return the favor. Tenfold. Something about her draws it out. “I don’t want to,” You whisper, the elevator softly dinging with each passing floor. “I want more.”

She smiles, hand fitting over the nape of your neck again like it belongs there, and reels you in for another kiss. It leaves you gasping when the lift stops.

Her room is a suite, another token of her apparent success. The best place you’ve ever stayed at came with a coffee maker. There isn’t much of a chance to admire it, though, since she plants you on the wall the moment the door clicks, latching it shut with her free hand. It’s a long, heated stumble further into the room, most of your clothes coming off with each step. It doesn’t hit you until she holds you at arm’s length to sit on the edge of her bed. She smirks up at you, tugging on the waistband of your underwear. Not to take them off but as direction.

You kneel between her open legs without a second thought.

“You still want more?”

Hours earlier, when your date texted a poor excuse to cancel, you didn’t think this was where the night would go. The weight of Kate’s gaze is heavy, almost as intoxicating as the whiskey lingering on your tongue. The anticipation is electric, and the view is…Well, you could get used to sitting on your knees if it’s her holding the reins.

You lay your hands on her thighs and feel the muscles beneath her pants shift. It’s heady, knowing someone this composed and enigmatic wants you, too.

“Yes.” You finally manage, hands sliding up to unbutton her fly and curling over the band to tug them down along with her underwear. Above, Kate chuckles, lifting her hips to allow you to peel them to her ankles. God, how desperate you must look when your eyes whip from her face to the patch of hair before you. Your mouth hangs open, drool already gathering on your tongue.

“You’ll catch flies like that.” she teases. 

Her hand lands atop your head. No pull or pressure. Yet. 

“But good answer,” Her fingers flex against your scalp. “Show me how good that pretty little mouth of yours is, shall we?”

Yes ma'am.

Without hesitation, you press open-mouthed kisses to Kate’s spread thighs, relishing the sigh of relief from above. You lay another on the hair above her pussy, inhaling her scent appreciatively, then give a few exploratory licks to her labia, avoiding where she wants you to wind her up. Something about a woman in control that makes you want to pick at a frayed edge and unwind her, even just a little bit. 

The hand in your hair tightens after more teasing, a silent Get to it. You still spare a couple more wet kisses, then lick a stripe over her hole before slipping it in. Her hips jut toward your mouth, pressure finally applied to your skull. You oblige her, searching for more of the vinous taste coating your tongue. You think it might be the best night of your life when she moans, your hands joining your mouth to gently spread her open.

“That’s it, just like that…” She rasps, voice thin and shaky. “That’s a good girl.” 

Your chest bursts at the praise, heat doubling in your cheeks. It cracks your eyes open, vision glazed. The sight of her, brow furrowed and lip caught between teeth—you did that. 

You dutifully continue, responding to each jerk of your head with soft groans, each one a direct line to your cunt. Pressing your thighs together, you feel how soaked you are, the cotton sticking. By the time you drag your tongue up to her clit, her legs shake, thighs trembling and bumping against your ears. Kate’s trying to keep them still; the tension beneath your hands charged and telling. When you wrap your lips around her clit to suck, you watch her eyes roll back and square your shoulders to keep her open.

“Atta girl.” She grits between her teeth, the fingers in your hair tightening to pull you snugly against her pussy. Her other hand fists the comforter, the fabric crinkling in her white-knuckled grip. “Don’t stop,” It’s almost a whine, bitten back and forced into a grunt. You could die here, nose buried in her bush and tongue stuck to her clit, chin slipping through her wetness. Drown or suffocate. It’d be a hell of a way to go.

But she comes, eyebrows pinched and mouth wide, going stock-still and rigid until the tension snaps. Kate shakes through it, letting all of one moan loose before clamping her mouth shut, baring her teeth to hiss instead. Her hips buck, and you carefully move with her, intent on catching everything she gives, greedily lapping at her until she tugs your head back.

A wet sheen paints your upper lip to your chin, possibly your throat, and you stare, hands on her knees, up at Kate. Her chest rises and falls with heavy breaths, her eyes dark and color high on her cheeks. Mild carpet burn bites your knees, but you don’t dare move. 

It’s like that for a few minutes. Her hand loosens its grip to pet your hair, her breathing gradually leveling out. Her scent permeates the air and your skin. God, even if you never see her again after this, she’s a part of you now.

“Up,” She suddenly says, standing and gesturing to the bed. “Take off the rest, then on your back.”

You scramble, wincing at the pops of your knees, but she doesn’t seem to notice. The clasp of your bra works with you, unfastening easily, and you shiver when the damp gusset of your underwear slaps wetly against your thigh on the way off. She grabs bottled water from the nightstand instead, drinking deeply, looking away at the curtains covering the windows.

Turning around, she twists the cap and sets the water aside, licking her lip free of a stray droplet. The pink tip of her tongue enough to expel a sharp breath.

Peculiarly, she leaves her shirt on but joins you, crawling onto the bed with a smile that might’ve passed for soft if her eyes weren’t so sharp. She leaves barely any breathing space, draping a warm leg over yours and pulling it toward her. Her elbow rests beneath her, propping her up with a closed fist to her temple. Her other hand drifts from the crease of your thigh, over your stomach, and between your breasts. Head tilting, her tongue darts out again in apparent study, drinking you in. Her attention to the physical is just as reverent as it is in conversation. 

You cannot bring yourself to speak, afraid you’ll break the spell. But you twitch once, when her fingers ghost over a hard nipple, and she smirks.

“Yes?”

“Please,” You whisper, not too proud to beg, and reach for her hand. “Please touch me. I am so fucking—”

Kate tuts, freezing your hand’s approach, then softens it with a hushed laugh. “Impatient. If that’s what you want, then let me work.” She pinches the bud between her fingers, slowly maneuvering to her knees. “You were so sweet at the bar. Don’t tell me I’ve brought a selfish brat home.”

A frustrated groan slips out, stuttering into a whimper as she withdraws to sit on her heels. Your teeth catch your lip to silence another when she moves between your legs, not sparing a single glance to her prize. Her hands spider up your shins and down your calves. It’s torture, and she’s incredible at it. 

Never in your life have you been called a brat past childhood, and certainly not in the bedroom. It pokes at that earlier inkling, urges it out into the open, but you stubbornly smother it. Maybe you are—but you don’t want to be for her. 

“Kate, please,” you plead again. “Please, I just–I just got worked up when I–”

“Shh. I know. I’m being awfully rude. I’ll take care of you, pretty thing.” Kate purrs, finally lowering her gaze to your dripping center, and her lip curls. It’s calculated, the glacial speed with which she approaches your cunt. Situates herself nice between your spread legs, returning the favor of littering your shaking thighs with kisses, adding teeth into the meatiest parts. 

Her nails lightly comb south through your thatch of hair, two callused fingers tracing over either side of your sex. A third finger teasing a trail through the wet, before dipping into the first knuckle. “Fuck,” she gaps, marveling at the ease. “You weren’t kidding.”

Surely you’d think of a smarter comeback other than the nonsensical babble you stammer instead.

Your stomach twists into knots as a second finger joins the first, easing deeper, thumb hovering over your clit like a trigger. Her fingers move slowly and deliberately, but within seconds you’re taking them to the webbing. They crook and drag against your inner walls, coaxing a stream of needy sounds from your lips.

“Wish you could see yourself,” Kate rasps, voice a hair lower. Brow narrowed with rapt attention. “Think you can take three?” She chuckles at the breathy little in a minute you force out. “Good girl, telling me how it is.”

Her fingers start to scissor and stretch, thumb occasionally tapping your clit to see your hips jolt. Your eyes are rolled back into oblivion when her tongue makes contact, and they snap open so fast you need to blink away black spots. Your hands hover over her head, unsure if she’s—fuck, if she’s—

She unlatches from your clit, giving it a peck before nodding at your outstretched palms. As if all business, she sinks back into your cunt mouth-first and closes her eyes with a groan. Your pussy squeezes at the sight, a needy whimper accompanying your fingers as they thread through her hair, ruining her bun. 

Kate alternates between devouring your pussy and tongue-fucking your hole, showcasing an almost animalistic side to the controlled woman who charmed you at the bar. The sounds muffled by your thighs, so hungry and urgent, it’s almost too much. You suck your lip into your mouth as the heat flooding your abdomen steadily migrates.

“K-Kate, fuck, I’m close.”

With a wet pop, she lifts her head, face flushed and mouth drenched. Though you quietly protest, your orgasm dancing out of reach, you let a curse shrivel on your tongue. Her fingers slow to allow a third to prod at your hole. It’s a stretch, even as slick as you are. The two of you groan as she feeds them into you. She drops a kiss to your thigh once they’re in, gaze flitting up to read your face on the first languid push and pull.

“Yeah?”

“Y-Yeah, oh, oh fuck.” Your answer turns stupid at the insistence behind Kate’s renewed thrusts. The lewd, squelching sound drowns whatever shreds of coherency and possibly dignity you have left.

Her mouth returns, sawing your clit back and forth, applying pressure in tandem with the plunge of her fingers. 

If she minds the number you’re doing to her scalp, she doesn’t show it. Her hair comes undone under your desperate hands, trying to fuse your cunt to her jaw. Tit for tat, though maybe she thinks as you do, finding a warm and wet pussy a suitable demise. 

With deliberate timing, her fingers bury themselves, bullying through the tight clasp of your walls, and teeth graze your clit. They sever the last thread of control, and your vision whites out. Head tipped against the pillow and heels digging into the bed, you shatter, voice unrestrained and echoing through the hotel room. A sliver of embarrassment stitches through the silence after, the neighboring suites an afterthought.

Kate cleans you in the afterglow. Your legs twitch uncontrollably as a towel dips between your legs, brain too muddled to appreciate her undoubtedly flattering words. 

She climbs into bed after that, tucking the pair of you underneath the sheets. You guess you’re staying the night when she folds around you in a spoon. She sighs, deep and satisfied, breath tickling your ear. “Good?”

“Better than good.” A tired giggle ekes out, snuggling into the bedding. Your eyelids droop, your head blissfully swimming from the faint smell of Kate on your lips. You swallow, unable to stop yourself from sleepily asking, “What’s after this?”

Her lips press to your temple in a prolonged kiss. Long enough to make you think you made a mistake. Then she whispers. “Sleep. A shower. Then room service in the morning.” She must sense your unease, though, as she adds, “We’ll talk then.”

You nod, half-lost to slumber already, savoring the figure eights she traces on your side. 

In the morning, you wake to an empty bed and a knock on the door. One foot in post-sex sleep-induced delirium, you find a robe in the ensuite and greet an amused-looking hotel employee at the door. Cart in tow, they breeze past you, lifting a cloche from a mouth-watering breakfast and a small carafe of coffee.

“Do I need to…pay for this?” You ask, head as scrambled as the eggs on the plate. 

“No, it’s being charged to the room.” The man says as he unloads the cart onto the room’s table. He delays his departure, though, and you get the message. He leaves with the last of your cash, and you spot a note tucked under Kate’s pillow.

Sorry to leave you like this. Duty calls. Take your time with the room. No one will bother you beyond delivering breakfast. You can reach me at this number if you need a finger or three, again. - Kate

You snort and shove a piece of bacon into your mouth to distract yourself from the ache between your legs.

Later, you consider adjusting your age preferences up a bracket across your dating apps before deleting them altogether. You send a text, and it’s under a minute that three dots appear. 

>> Miss me already, kid?

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

this man needs a home!

hello! this very friendly little stray orange boy in Houston TX needs somewhere to live that is not my house! I’m willing to drive within the texas triangle, or meet someone halfway. he is free to a good home and has had some basic vetting.

what’s his deal?

he’s about two, about ten pounds, and is freshly neutered, rabies vaxxed, and flea/tick/mite treated with revolution ii. he is a known community cat with no microchip, he will need a more thorough vetting and to be microchipped, but I’m currently unemployed and $200 is the max i can really spend on this man. happy to forward you his vet records, but my name and address are plastered all over them so i will not be posting them.

he’s extremely people-social and friendly (you can sling him around with one hand as he purrs up a storm) and im assuming cat social since I have seen him peaceably hanging out with other strays outside and he wants to be friends with my cat So Bad. he’s just orange.

why is he in my bathroom and why can’t he live there forever?

this cat has been the bane of my cat Mackintosh’s existence since we moved, because he wants to be friends So Bad i had to put up bird spikes on my windows and balcony to stop him from jumping up. he’s also been spraying on my front door. my cat’s solution to any stressor is throwing up. in the process of ruling out various tummy troubles, my vet and i agreed that this little orange man is a major stress trigger and if he came back (i have not seen him in months) i should scoop him up and rehome him. my cat wants him dead and there would never ever be a peaceful introduction or coexistence, unfortunately.

who else has been contacted?

BARC, Friends4Life, Houston Cares, Purrfect Cat, Animal Justice League, Adopt A Cat Texas, and Citizens for Animal Protection. I’m making my way through a list of tiny private Facebook rescues, but every major shelter in Houston is genuinely at capacity. we are going to try again at BARC next Sunday (9/15) during their open intake hours, since we tried last Sunday and they accepted exactly three cars. if the absolute worst comes to worst he will go back outside, since I’m not willing to put my existing cat through the severe anxiety of this man in her home for more than two weeks. however that is only a partial solution to “the sight of this cat makes my cat flip her shit and then throw up her next two meals”. hopefully it will stop him spraying on my front door though.

[pokeberry5]

maybe more stephtim for the sketch prompts if u feel inclined? your last art of them blessed me haha <3

this has probs be done before but:

with bonus ariana bc i have a lot of feelings about her. the good boy ml to steph's bad boy in our quintessential shoujo love triangle. except i dont believe in love triangles <3

i really like the thought of ari being unfortunately weak for the hero type who can't therefore treat her like she deserves and steph being into goody-two shoes with a (badly hidden) rebellious streak

[butchhamlet]

do you have any good shakespeare retelling book recs?

what a beautiful time to ask this, says guy who has left this ask collecting cobwebs in his inbox for months! because guess who has two thumbs and just finished queen goneril by erin shields! WHAT a fucking play, holy SHIT, this is some of the best characterization of the lear sisters that i've ever read and the exploration of womanhood as filtered through class + race + shitty families + political maneuvering is so so so good. also the things shields does with the og playtext... chef's fucking KISS

anyway, recency bias aside, i've been meaning to make a post about my favorite shakespeare retellings for a while, and i think i never actually did it because i wanted to make a lear retelling ranking list and then i never read some of the ones on my TBR. so whatever. the learlist will happen someday. here are my favorites in general. (here is my goodreads shelf for the retellings i've read, good and bad, and here is the shelf for the ones i have yet to read.)

in no particular order:

a thousand acres by jane smiley: outsold. epitome of what makes an effective retelling--a book that clearly has something to say about and to the original text, but that also isn't afraid to diverge, to exclude here and zoom in there. ungraciously, this is "lear on a farm" and it starts a little slow, but holy fucking shit, i can't do justice in a paragraph to the way this book unraveled me. one of the best books of all time mayhaps. also, introduced the edmund character by describing his ass. 10/10

the last true poets of the sea by julia drake: i don't read that much YA anymore but jesus fucking christ. books tailored for me specifically. twelfth night retelling about siblings + mental illness + being bisexual + love triangles that actually make sense (emotions are confusing!) instead of being contrived + beautiful description + excellent dialogue + THE MENTAL ILLNESS. books that made me start crying in zoom class in 2020

rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead by tom stoppard: kind of a cop-out answer because we all know this one. but that does not detract from how good it is. this is one of those plays, at least for me, that makes me think, "ohhhhhh, THIS is what theater can do. this is using its medium to the absolute utmost." it is so clever and it makes me want to cry. i think about "i don't know. it's the same sky" more often than i can say

american moor by keith hamilton cobb: not exactly a retelling, but a one-man play about a Black man auditioning for the lead role in Othello, tangling as he does with his relationship with shakespeare's work and cultural dominance. suuuuuch a good fucking play even beyond the analysis of othello (which is excellent); the language is so fucking incredible. everyone who likes shakespeare should read this.

teenage dick by mike lew: modern teenage richard iii; this one's more reimagining than retelling, because it diverges pretty sharply from the plot of richard iii, but god, it's so fucking fun. and upsetting! really upsetting also.

foul is fair by hannah capin: i will be so real. i read this in high school and some of the YA books i've revisited since did not hold up for me. so idk if i can tell you this is "good" with my full chest. but the pitch is "lady macbeth gets sexually assaulted at a party and decides to fucking kill the boys who did it" and i stayed up until like 1am to finish it because it was such a vicious gleaming wild ride

the stars undying by emery robin: does this count? hard to say, because it's just as much a retelling of roman history than shakespeare's antony and cleopatra (honestly, more, since it focuses on the era where caesar and cleopatra were lovers, which is before shakespeare's play). but i'm counting it anyway because it's bisexual space opera cleopatra and it's the best book i've read so far in 2024 and it's making me crazy and i'm writing a thesis on it < genuinely

peerless by jihae park: macbeth, but college applications, featuring asian macbeths (they're twin sisters >:3) who think their classmate has taken their place in their dream school because of affirmative action/DEI. this play is absolutely VICIOUS. it's macbeth x heathers. think it mirrors macbeth in faltering a little in its final stretch, but it still fucks hard

the wednesday wars by gary d. schmidt: okay, not a retelling; this is about a preteen boy in the 60s. but it's one of the best most genuine and heartwarming books i've ever read and it manages to be hilarious while also foregoing cheap slapstick punching-low humor for a hell of a lot of warmth and passion. and the main character interacts with shakespeare a lot as a running theme so i can justify putting it on this list. #evangelizing

of course, i would be remiss not to mention that @suits-of-woe / @mjulianwrites has written the best take on Two Gentlemen of Verona to ever exist, and i mean that quite seriously. unfortunately it hasn't been published yet so we'll all just have to prayer-circle about it. i would also be remiss not to take the opportunity to. uh. coughs. do a bit of casual self-promo. if you 1. have ocd 2. have gender or 3. think about malvolio a lot. boy do i have the novella for you

will definitely add to this when i read more retellings; feel free to drop recs in the tags/replies/reblogs/my askbox!

[boytearscore]

why can’t i hate you? — matt sturniolo & chris sturniolo.

summary: being best friends with chris and nick meant the world to you, it also meant you had to deal with their brother’s hate, rudeness, eye rolls, mean comments and coldness all the time. but that didn’t bother you, in fact, it was actually always a pleasure to annoy the shit out of him constantly.

warnings: swearing, enemies to lovers, best friends to lovers, love triangle (not threesome), toxic behavior, angst, comedy, possible smut and of course, strong female lead.

taglist: @sleepysturniolo, @soshere, @spideylovin, @calisturniolo, @ilovecheese09.

author’s note: this chapter was an intense one, hope you guys enjoy reading it just as much i enjoyed writing it. don’t forget to leave your thoughts down below the comments, and of course, have fun!

chapter one here.

chapter two.

chris was the first one to get out of bed, meaning he just open his eyes after trying to sleep the whole night. he didn’t get a fucking blink of rest. first because he was thinking about you, not being able to cope with the fact that he was partially responsible for making you feel at ease and sleep better which meant his touch and presence was good for you.

if his presence and care subconsciously calmed you down, that means it’s worth a shot, right?

he sighs, that leads to the second thing that kept him awake.

matt, of course. that was probably the first time they argued over a girl. they never had the same type, but this isn’t about type. it’s about you. and although he wasn’t sure if his brother had actual romantic feelings, the voice of intuition inside his head screamed yes over and over again.

he grabs his phone on the nightstand next to the bed and checks the time before opening titkok in order to make the thoughts go away, occasionally chuckling at some dumb weird ass videos on his for you page, but that wasn’t working as much as he wanted to. chris ponders for a while, staring at the ceiling and decides it’s best to take a shower, he throws his phone on the bed and slowly gets up, almost crawling to the bathroom.

the boy closes the door behind him, taking his clothes off and grabbing his toothbrush, immediately brushing his teeth as he goes start the shower head, stepping in and letting out a sigh of relief, the warm water relaxing the tense muscles of his back and shoulders. he suddenly catches himself thinking about last night again. both the good and bad events, you’ve been friends for so long and nothing like that happened before, sure, he already had a crush, but the urge to fight for you was definitely unforeseen.

he never thinks twice when it comes to fighting guys that are assholes to you, but that never happened because you knew how to defend yourself pretty well. as a matter of fact, that’s part of the reason why he’s so attracted to you, but that’s besides to point, the thing is that you’ve dated other guys before and he didn’t care about it, it was like he just came to terms with the fact that he never had a chance to begin with, he was convinced no guy will ever be good enough for you, not even him. that’s why he never said anything and… oh, right. also the fact that it could ruin your friendship completely.

however after last night, something changed that led to the conflict inside him. well, not something. someone. his own brother, for the first time in years he saw matthew acting without thinking. the matt from some days ago would never let you get to his head, not the mention the sudden move. he showed interest to literally no girls for a long time, but then tries to kiss you? the one he claims to despise to the core?

chris realized he has been there for more than 10 minutes and if nick finds out, he’d be dead. so, he finishes washing off the shampoo from his hair and the toothpaste foam from his lips, stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist before walking over to the mirror and taking a glance at himself while placing his toothbrush inside the holder. he runs a hand through his wet hair falling over his eyes, pushing it back and opening the door still looking at the mirror.

“you’re such a narcissistic.” you said standing at the door frame of the bathroom, arms crossed and a smirk on the lips.

actually, you‘ve been awake for a while, but the house was quiet and you never leave the room when you guys have sleepovers before chris and nick does. you weren’t a very nice person right after waking up and facing matt’s comments in that state would actually turn gruesome really fast. the only reason why you got up was because god gave you the useless talent of distinguishing chris laughter by the way he squeaks. you’re quite proud of it, in secret, of course. knowing him, he was probably on tiktok before heading to the shower, you waited for a while and finally left the guest room exactly when he was about to get out of the bathroom.

your eyes were unconciously catching every detail of him, the wet hair he just brushed back and the few strings still falling over his eyes, making small water drops fall on his chest.

being the closest person to nick and chris probably meant that you already saw them leaving the bathroom after a shower using only a tower over their waist a million times right? wrong.

it’s in fact the first time you see so much of chris body, one thing is to see him shirtless on daily basis, and a whole different when he’s naked, just with a piece of cloth over his… dick.

of course you thought he was hot before, more like acknowledging it and not making it a big deal, after all, he was your best friend, but right now, that didn’t matter. you felt actual attraction to him, real bad. without thinking, you bite your lip, not being able to stop your eyes from casting down, admiring his well figured. his slightly defined torso, his collarbones, his lower stomach and then… his groin.

“like what you see?” his husky voice makes you avert gaze to his stupid cocky smirk, he knew you were thirsting over him.

“maybe.” you murmur smiling, you weren’t scared of exposing yourself, not now, not ever. nick and chris always tease you for having a flirty personality so your response wasn’t a surprise, wherever you start jokingly flirting with him, he would laugh and give right back to you, not taking it seriously.

but this time he didn’t laugh, he leaned closer to you without needing to actually walk, you both were already face to face, thanks to your decision to stand in the door frame, his post shower scent making a funny tingling sensation rush over your body.

chris swallows, his eyes fixed into yours. he loves the way you're always so bold, confident and fucking bossy. it’s a side of you he's seen often at parties you guys go to and even at hangouts, but he never experienced it being directed at him until now, and that makes his confidence grow more and more by second, so he decides to go for it, inclining his whole body against yours, standing so close that drops of water from his wet hair started falling on your chest making you shiver from the coldness. the towel over his waist didn’t not prevent you from looking down.

he catches your gaze drifting down to it before moving back up to his eyes. “sure, that’s definitely a maybe.” he smirks at you, clearly amused by the way you were salivating over him.

“it’s not a secret to anyone you’re hot, is it?” you raise a brow at him, arms crossed. his minty breath against your face making you wonder how good it would feel to kiss him.

“and yet you still feel like it's something worth pointing out." he lifts his hand and gently tugs on the collar of your tank top, pulling you even closer to the point where you actually felt his dick brushing against your stomach.

“meaning?” you know what he meant, but engaging the interaction was actually interesting. you were aware this was affecting him just as much it was affecting you.

chris looks down, his eyes meeting yours. his hand is still grasping the collar of your top, holding you closer to him.

“you know exactly what i mean.”

“i do.” you whisper, shivering with the closeness and following his gaze. “but i want you to say it.”

he glances down at your mouth, his eyes lingering there for a moment before looking back up at you. there’s not a chance of him backing down now, fuck his fears, fuck matt and fuck all of his worries from earlier. you managed to awaken a side of him no one else knew, not even him. he shrugs, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, this time he only leans his head a bit closer, since it was almost impossible to get his body closer to yours. unfortnunelly.

he goes for your ear, lips brushing against your it as he asks. “you want me to say how much i know you're attracted to me?"

the sensation of his breath on your ear definitely got to you, it was one of your weakest spots and the asshole already knew that because you tell him everything.

but you couldn’t let him get away with it.

“no.” you let your hand cup his face, putting pressure around his chin with your fingers to turn his face to you. “i want you to admit how much you enjoyed the way i just looked at you.” your eyes glued to his and your signature smirk on the lips making him laugh in a mixture of surprise and lust at your forwardness.

“can’t say i didn’t.” you noticed his eyes darkened with a hint of lust when he dropped his gaze, wandering over your partly exposed chest, the tank top so tight he could see the tiny metal balls of your nipple piercings standout, chris feels goosebumps all over, his minding racing with the thought of taking your boobs into his mouth and licking the metallic taste of it while you moan his name. he lets out a soft gasp, the combination of the pressure of your fingers on his face and the friction of his dick brushing against your stomach not helping.

“like what you see?” you ask noticing how lost he was in thoughts and he frowns, feeling annoyed because you used his words against him. no matter how much anyone tries to make you lay your guard down, to get a shy reaction or even a stutter from you, it has never worked and he wanted badly to be the first one actually doing so, but he figured this wasn’t the timing. plus he was starting to get hard and if nick or matt walked on you both, things would get really awkward.

“there’s no winning against you, huh?” chris chuckles softly, taking a step back and you laugh a little trying to hide your disappointment from him.

“that’s because guys are weak.” you say loosening the grip on his chin and rolling your eyes, he just gives you a “whetever” face and heads to his room, pretending he wasn’t about to throw up his own heart.

you watch him until he gets to his room, a pleasant grin across your lips. all these years being friends with chris, he never really tried anything like that before. as a matter of fact, you didn’t even know he was so confident, he’s usually sweet and nonserious around you so that left you impressed and surprised… in a good way.

you shrug thinking that was definitely interesting and turns to the hall, the intention was to go to the living room but that didn’t go as planned when your face bumped aggressively into something hard as rock.

you hated that you instantly knew.

ever since last night's incident, tiny fragments got stuck with you. his scent, his presence and the warmth of his body. it's almost like you suddenly developed the power of being able to recognize him just by your skin touching his.

it was fucking matt.

you sigh, dealing with matthew right now wasn’t what you wanted. not because you felt intimidated by him, but because you didn’t want to play his little games today.

he gives you the usual mocking stare and smirk, crossing his arms.

here we go. you thought, ready to roll your eyes at whatever childish comment he was about to make and not engage.

but he just stood there for a while, arms folded, his usual stone cold demeanor ever present. he looked at you with a mix of irritation and annoyance, but beneath that, you could tell something else seemed to be lurking. for a second you thought he wasn’t gonna say anything and prepared yourself to go on your way, but his piercing gaze remained fixated on you, that made you stay for some reason.

and then he spoke.

“you can’t control your hormones or something?” he almost yelled. “always flirting with everyone, now even with chris.” matt laughs ironically and asks you. “isn’t that what they call a bop, though?”

you can’t help but laugh right back at him in the exact same tone, like, really loud.

of course he would use that term at some point, he was just like that type of guy. so you decided to play the game, anyways.

you get closer to him not giving a shit about how you were crossing his physical boundaries since he crossed yours first a night ago.

“not really.” you whisper to him, eyes piercing cold directly into his. “it’s called being confident and taking risks to enjoy life without denying your own true desires.” you lean even closer, not breaking eye contact for a second and giving him your best fake smile. “but what would you know about that, right?” at this point, the fake smile turned into a satisfied one with the feeling of already knowing that what you were about to say was gonna make him incredibly mad. “you couldn’t even admit to yourself how much you wanted to kiss me last night and just ran away to your room like a pussy.” you scoff and walk to the living room still looking at him as you leave, letting a dumbfounded matt behind.

chris was right.

there’s no winning against you. and never will be.

[deanscherrypie420]

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐫

A/N: Hi! This was third most requested on the poll! I hope you guys enjoy, it took me forever to think of a story OMG!

Characters: BAU Team, Reader Y/N

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner X Reader

Warnings: Soft!Dom Aaron, description of crime scenes, antagonizing, sensitive neck area, implied smut but no actual, teasing, lots of kissing towards the end, pretty cute ending, praise kink, spitting (spits into her mouth once), getting interrupted (they were just kissing, don't worry), (Let me know if I missed anything!)

Summary: After getting on your new boss's bad-side, you face his irritation throughout your case. When you get back, however, it seems he's a better profiler than you thought.

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It was her first official day at the Bureau. She had been training alongside a different team for a few weeks before being sent to work with the BAU.

When she entered the conference room, she was greeted by a woman in a dashingly bright outfit. "Hi! I'm Penelope Garcia, technical analyst for the BAU. You're the new agent, right?"

Y/N nodded and shook her hand, a faint smile on her lips. "Hi, yeah. I'm Y/N Y/L/N." She stated simply, pulling out a chair to sit down. Penelope stepped out of the room for a moment, calling the rest of the team in.

One by one, they all piled in. Two other women came to shake her hand and she declined, passing it off with a joke. They didn't seem to mind, sitting down beside her and engaging in small talk.

The last person to come in was an older man dressed in a nice suit, clean cut black hair and dark brown eyes. She perked up, recognizing him immediately.

SSA Aaron Hotchner, BAU Unit chief.

"Y/L/N, good to finally meet you. We've heard great things." He complimented, reaching out to shake her hand. She gave a sharp smile, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Thanks, unfortunately I can't say the same about you." She set her hand on top of his, gently pushing it down to decline his offer. He noticeably stiffened, and the room filled with tension. "Excuse me?" He questioned, brows knitted tight together.

"I mean, you're practically a rogue agent. You're constantly under the microscope," She shook her head with a quiet laugh, "And from what I hear, you've always been off the rails, even with a stick up your ass."

Before Aaron could respond, Garcia interrupted, getting into the grimy details of a murder in Colorado. After the brief, everyone exited the room, leaving Y/N and Hotchner in the room alone.

His hand clamped down on her shoulder, squeezing tight as he leaned in behind her. "I advise you to stay in your lane. Keep that dirty little mouth of yours shut." He whispered in her ear.

She felt her breath hitch in her throat, heat rising to her cheeks. He patted her on the back before stepping out, returning to his office to collect his to-go bag.

She stood up and grabbed her bag from beneath her, already prepared for her first day. When she made it to the jet, she claimed a seat next to the blonde woman, who she vaguely remembered as Jennifer.

"Rogue agent, huh?" The older man in front of her asked. She studied him, his fingers in a triangle shape resting on the table, grey hair blooming within his black strands.

She grinned and nodded, leaning back into her chair. "I can't repeat what I've heard?" She prodded, tapping her foot on the ground. She knew it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but she didn't care.

As if he read her mind, he hunched forward and reciprocated her smirk. "Not if you want to last longer than day one. You may have heard some interesting things about Aaron, but I'm sure you've also heard that he doesn't take bullshit from anyone. Especially not from beginners."

She swallowed hard, feeling everyone's eyes on her. She tried to think of a witty response, something to drag her out of the pit she was in. Her brain paused when the same hand from before ruffled her hair, a stiff smile on Aaron's face. "I'm sure it was a mistake on her part. Right, Y/N?"

She nearly choked, reaching up to fix her hair. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." She croaked out, an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach. Rossi just shook his head and 'tsked' in disapproval.

After another quick conversation about the case, Aaron paired everyone up. "Morgan, JJ, you check out the body. Rossi, Prentiss and Reid, set up with local PD."

After not addressing her, she raised a brow. She turned to face him, an annoyed look on her features. "What about me?" She questioned, and he gave her a smug grin.

"You're with me. We'll examine the crime scene." Was all he said, turning his attention back to the file. She slumped in her chair, glaring at Morgan when she heard him chuckle.

Dammit.

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"So what do you see?" He quizzed her, motioning towards the crimson stained kitchen. She studied it for a moment, chewing the inside of her cheek as she thought.

"Rage fueled kill. Blood painted on the walls, clearly over-kill. He doesn't like authority figures, this is the third he's killed this week." She explained and he scoffed.

"You aren't projecting, are you?" He asked her, and she froze. "What do you mean?" Her fists balled up, biting her lip to withhold any rude remarks she might let slip.

"You have issues with figures of authority. You tried to embarrass me in front of my team, and the whole drive here you ignored everything I've had to tell you." He stepped closer to her, his dark eyes boring into hers.

"If I had to guess I'd assume parental issues. You have a sharp tongue, a defense mechanism to keep people at arms reach. Should I keep going?" He had a stern, yet calm look in his eyes. She bit her cheek and pondered, unsure how to respond.

"You're uncomfortable." He noted and she raised a brow. "Am not. You're not as intimidating as you think, Aaron." She snapped back, and he stepped even closer, his face mere inches away.

"I didn't say intimidated, but thank you for letting me know that's how I make you feel." He smiled down at her, making her stomach churn. She turned on her heel and hurried out, slamming the front door behind her.

He chuckled and shook his head, walking out behind her. "Where are you going?" He asked and she crossed her arms, stopping at the end of the road. "Away from you." She muttered and he stopped a few feet in front of her.

"You're acting like a child. Get in the car, now." She huffed and brushed past him, ramming her shoulder into his as she went. He had to hold back from grabbing her and slamming her onto the car.

She slid into the passenger seat, throwing her feet up on the dash and sinking her teeth into their spot in her cheek. Aaron got into the driver seat and stared at her.

"I understand this is your way of defiance, but it's not amusing. Legs down." He ordered and she unwillingly obeyed. "Sorry." She spat, sarcasm creeping in her tone.

"Being a brat isn't gonna work for you, not with me at least." He warned her and she barely nodded, glancing over at him. She didn't know why, but she kind of liked it when he talked to her like this.

However, she couldn't help but want the softer side of him too. He felt her staring as he drove to the local police department, finding it cute when he looked at he and she turned away.

"You're a lot more shy than I expected." He told her, making her look away again. "Pardon?" She croaked, heat rushing up her neck. He set his hand down on her knee and his thumb rubbed circles against it.

"Nothing, just keep your act together."

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After the case, Y/N was waiting in Aarons office. They had tension all throughout the trip, getting her in trouble and now having to have a mandatory "behavioral conversation."

When he entered the office, he closed the door quietly and turned to face her. His face was stone cold, unreadable and harsh. She bit her lip and fidgeted in her lap, picking at her nailbeds.

He sat down in front of her and cleared his throat. "Is this what you wanted?" He questioned her, catching her off guard. "I don't understand?" She responded, her tone rising at the end a bit too high for her liking.

"I'm a profiler, Y/N. It's my job to study behavior. What did you think you would get by throwing tantrums?" His words made her squirm, understanding what he was referring to.

She didn't respond, looking down at her legs and trying not to drown in humiliation. He chuckled and stood up, making his way behind her. He slowly started to knead her shoulders, earning a quiet gasp from her lips.

"I know, Sweetheart. You just want to be a good girl, yeah?" He cooed, adding more pressure and making her moan. She nodded and squeezed her thighs together. "Th-this is inappropriate." She mumbled between quiet groans and he smiled down at her, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

"You don't seem to care about what's appropriate or not, don't start pretending now." He whispered and she melted, her hands clawing at her knees.

His thumbs pressed into her neck, pressing nerves within and making her recoil, an unexpected moan bellowing out of her. He quirked a brow and raised one of his hands around the back of her neck.

"Well, that was interesting." He remarked before squeezing down on the pressure points, forcing her to curl up, such an intense reaction from such a little gesture.

Incoherent whimpers and whines escaped her lips, her hand buried between thighs as she tried to gain friction. He chuckled and shook his head. "Needy girl."

He jerked her head back, forcing another moan out of her. Her mouth hung open, eyes glazed and cheeks flushed. He loomed over her, spitting into her mouth.

He took his hand away from her neck and spun her chair around, crouching down in front of her with a small smile. "Swallow, pretty girl."

She obeyed, nodding mindlessly as she did. He kissed the top of her knee and then stood up, gesturing for her to do the same. He cupped her cheek and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

"Go to your office, get all your paperwork done, and then come meet me back here." He looked so comforting, and he felt that way too. "Okay.. I can do that." She spoke barely above a whisper, still flustered from the situation.

He smiled and leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. She wanted more, but didn't say anything, just carefully pulled away and walked towards the door.

He grabbed her arm and brought her back to him, her chest flushed with his. "Use your words." He prompted her, and she bit her lip, a small smile of her own growing.

"Kiss me, please."

He leaned down and their lips met, a slow but passionate kiss. His hands slid around her waist and he crossed his wrists above her hips, bringing her impossibly closer.

Her hands cupped his cheeks and he smiled, the warm feeling of her palms making his shoulders relax.

Suddenly, Penelope and Emily barged through the door, David, JJ and Morgan not far behind them. "Dinner at Rossi's-" Penelope started in a cheery voice, but froze when she saw them.

Quickly, Y/N broke away from Hotch, her back to him as she smiled awkwardly. Emily's jaw was practically on the floor, and Garcia gasped.

"Oh my," She whispered, and Morgan glanced over her shoulder, quickly catching on to the situation. "Aaron. Hotchner. Gettin' some lovin' from the newbie is not something I expected." He teased and Y/N felt her face warming, something she was getting used to now at the BAU.

"Guys, it's not-" Aaron started but was quickly cut off by JJ. "This was not something I had on my bingo card this year." She joked as she sped away with Reid, who was quickly mumbling some facts about business hook-ups.

Following in suit, Penelope grabbed the door handle and apologized repeatedly. "Just come find us when you two are done." She said quickly as she slammed the door.

Aaron leaned down and snaked an arm around her, pulling her closer once more. "We'll catch up on this later." He said as he kissed her temple.

"Do I still have to do my paperwork?" She asked in a fake-innocent voice. "Absolutely," He said before leaving soft, bruising kisses down her neck. "But you can wait until tomorrow."

She rested her head back on his chest, breathy moans parting her lips. "That's not fair. I should get special privileges now." She pleaded and he sunk his teeth into her neck, making her gasp.

"You're a smart girl, you can do a little bit of work. I'll even reward you if you do a good job." He teased, squeezing her hip with his free hand. She giggled and moved his face up to kiss him, their lips easily melting together.

"Hurry up you two! This is Y/N's first cooking lesson!" Garcia yelled through the door. Hotch let out a quiet groan as he finally pulled away, placing a few more quick kisses all over the side of her face.

She giggled and hollered back, "We're coming!" He gave a playful tap to her ass and she waited for him to grab his coat before leaving. "I didn't expect that sleeping with my boss would make my co-workers like me so much." She joked and he raised his brows suggestively, collecting his stuff from beside the desk.

"We haven't slept together yet, but that's a great idea for dessert."

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A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed! I finished this at three AM so I'm sorry if its a bit rushed or messy. This is my first Hotch fic so it took me a bit longer to get a decent idea.

Feel free to send in requests! <3 Like, comment, and follow :)

[thecuriousbeauty]

Traitor- The Present

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Synopsis:y/n is a hard working painter, trying to make the ends meet. She lives with and takes care of her sick Uncle, the only one she has for a family. She has dreams to make it big, and when the desperation for money strikes, she has to make a choice. Walk away after listening to an incredible deal that would fix all her problems, or take up the deal. A top secret, risky deal, which involves meeting Harry Styles.A man once rumored to be a dangerous secret weapon of a leading mafia. artist!y/n x mafia!harry (he's also a doctor)

Word limit: 5,021

Warnings: Smut. Fingering, dirty talk, exhibitionism, choking, light degradation.

Author's note: Thank you so much for all your love on the last part. If you guys want me to add your names to my tag list, just drop me a message! Feedback is appreciated, and please re blog to support me. Happy reading:)

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"I swear there's no one on the planet that makes better sandwiches than you, Harry."

Harry and y/n were enjoying a picnic in the park, complete with ham and cheese sandwiches (cut in triangles, per her request), fruit salad, and cookies they had baked together the night before. Much to both of their delight, the park was nearly empty aside from a few toddlers playing in the jungle gym with their mothers.

Or so they thought.

"What are you doing tonight?", Harry asks her, enjoying the fresh air as he leaned against the tree, with his arm around y/n. Her back was towards his chest, and she was looking up at him.

"Oh I have to talk to a client, who wants to buy one of my paintings.", she lies. She had a meeting with Romania tonight.

"After that?", Harry drawls, kissing her neck.

"I promised Uncle Luke we would play pictionary today!", she says, as his lips hum against the pulse point of her neck.

"You can't get enough of me, can you?", she teases.

"No.", he agrees, stroking her hair between his fingers. "I would spend every minute of the day with you if I could."

"I would get bored.", y/n says playfully, and Harry growls, tightening his grip around her waist making her giggle. "I'll remember that the next time we're in bed.", he whispers in her ear, making her blush.

Then she saw them. Three men surrounded different areas of the park. All three of them were looking at them. y/n suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"Um, Harry?"

"Hm?"

"I think we should pack up and head home. I'll run late for my meeting with the client.", she says, squeezing his arm gently.

"Already?", he asks, pulling away from her neck and she nods. "I'll spend the night with you tomorrow, okay?"

His face turns into a cute pout, and she wonders how people in his past were intimidated by that face. "Okay. You'll have to make it up to me, baby."

"I will.", she promises, starting to pack everything up. They finished packing their snacks, took their picnic blanket, and y/n took Harry's hand tight in hers, keeping her eyes on the men as they walked to her car.

She drove away soon. "Why don't you drive Harry?", she asks.

"I don't like driving.", he simply says.

"Why is that? Did you have a really bad accident?", she hints.

"Uh...maybe, I don't know. I don't enjoy it. I like walking, and the hospital's close from my house.", he shrugs, looking outside the window. He looked so innocent to y/n.

She drops Harry, before leaving. She had a bad feeling, and she grabbed his hand before he could go. She had already scanned the place to see if the men had followed her, but they hadn't.

"Harry, be careful, yeah?", she says, worried.

"Yeah, why?", he strokes her cheek, noticing that something's bothering her.

"The world is not a good place.", she squeezes his hand. "Lock your doors, okay?"

"I will..are you sure you're okay?"

She smiles, bringing his hand to her lips to kiss it. "I'm okay. I'll see you tomorrow, Harry."

Harry nods, kissing her forehead. "Remember I'm here if you need to talk about something."

The guilt storm hits her hard again, and she nods. "Thank you. I gotta go now."

"Yeah. See you, sunshine."

She had to do it. She had to tell Romania that this has to stop. She got to the building, took the elevator, waited impatiently for it to open and Hans greets her at the door.

"Ah, in time today Miss y/l/n", he remarks, looking at his watch.

"I'm not always late.", y/n mumbles and he chuckles, stepping aside. "Come in."

Romania sat on the couch as usual, and y/n wonders if she gets up from there once in a while. Oliver was not standing, for a change. He was sitting on the seat next to the one that y/n usually occupies when she's here.

"Good evening, y/n.", Romania gives her a smile and Oliver ignores her, classic Oliver.

"Hi.", y/n nods, taking her seat.

"Anything stronger than water?", Hans asks her, cocking an eyebrow.

"No, just water. Thanks.", y/n says to him. She didn't want to drink with people who plot to kill other people who got into tragic accidents and lost their memory.

"So? What are your updates this week?", Romania asks her, keeping one of her lean legs over the other and looking at her with interest. Oliver turns her head to look at her, and Hans keeps her water in front of her before sitting on the table he usually leans on.

y/n got talking. She told them everything she found out and didn't. She told them about the ring as well.

"So he's still holding on to that.", Romania smiled. "That's a great break through, y/n."

"Was that Reagen's?", y/n guesses.

"Yes. She didn't know, but Harry was planning to propose to her after that night. After their last mission. Diamond ring, silver beading, wasn't it?"

y/n nods. Romania looks at Hans for confirmation who nodded. "That's the one."

"That means some part of him still isn't ready to let go of Reagen.", Romania says. "Or it was a slip of the mask. He wasn't expecting you to search his room and find the ring. He could easily lie to you, like he probably has numerous times now. Whatever is necessary to keep his identity secret."

"I really think you're wrong, Romania.", y/n says softly. "And I'm sorry that you all lost your friend, but he's no longer in there, if he ever was. The Harry I know is a kind person. He isn't capable of hurting anyone."

"You've fallen for him, haven't you?", Romania sighs. "You're in love and you've been sleeping with him."

Was it love? A fire ignited in her chest whenever she thought about him. Her whole body tingled when he touched her. She wanted to go home to him every day. Was that love? y/n didn't know. She hasn't been in love before.

"I heard he was good in bed.", Hans says, nodding. "Lot of girls wanted to get laid but he only ever had eyes for Reagen."

"He trusts you," Oliver says. "You've gained his trust, y/n. This week, you really have to destroy his walls and get him to remember everything. You don't understand. We need him. His life is in danger if keeps his act going on any longer."

"I-I'll take him somewhere safe, where no one can hurt him.", y/n whispers, then thought about how dumb that sounded.

Romania scoffed. "We have men everywhere, y/n. You have no idea how big we are. You're lucky it's just the three of us talking to you."

"I've seen guys following us, looking at us weirdly. Are they your men?"

"Maybe, maybe not.", Hans shrugs. "Can be enemies plotting his death. Too scared to come any closer to him. They were all terrified of Harry once they got to know he was our secret weapon."

"W-Why do people have to be so terrified of him?", she couldn't help but ask the same question she asked last meeting.

"He is not the man you think he is."Oliver spoke slowly, like he was warning her. "Take his fondness towards you as leverage and find out what we need. Do your job and let us worry about protecting him, okay?"

"You have time till seven days, and I have a plan.", Romania tells her. "Do it as I say, and you'll be done. You'll be free to do as you please, whether he remembers or not."

"B-But I can't just leave him-"

"That's your fault, getting romantically involved with him."

Yes. It was her fault. y/n nods, finishing the entire glass of water. "Tell me your plan."

"Road trip.", she says, clapping her hands together.

"That's your great plan?", y/n asks confused.

"Hans.", Romania said and Hans spread out a map on the table. "Reagen and Harry were smuggling gold from San Francisco to New Mexico, on road.", he says, pointing at the places on the map.

"From here.", y/n spoke softly, and they nodded. She lived outside the city, in a small town near San Francisco, but the nearest city to her is Dan Francisco. 

"It's a sixteen hour road trip. It'll take you two days if you cover 8 hours every day. Four days if you cover four hours every day. The choice is yours. But we need Harry here by the end of this week." Hans pointed to a place near the border. It wasn't Mexico yet.

"This was where the blast took place. Where Reagen died, and where Harry lost his memory. We want you to take him through the same route they took on their last journey together. We're confident Harry will remember something, if not everything."

"You want me to bring him to the same place he lost his past life..to see if the place brings back his memories?", y/n put it together.

"Precisely.", Romania nods. "Now what you want to do in those four days is not my concern. Get a room, go to a party, go to the beach, go to a movie. I don't care. But I need Harry's memories back. Traveling on this route, a route he has taken many times before, has to be the key."

It was a good plan if it works. "And if he remembers?"

"Leave the rest to us.", Oliver says, and y/n buries her head in her hands as she thinks. "Is there another option?"

"This is our best option y/n.", Hans speaks softly. "Our last hope. You can make it happen."

Just one more week and she can put all this behind her. Of course she knew that wasn't possible as she is now involved in Harry's life, but if at all he remembers, even a glimpse of who he used to be, no one can hurt him. They'll all be scared. Things might change between y/n and Harry, but at least he'd be safe, she thought. Yes, she had to make him remember.

"Road trip it is, then."

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Harry sits on his bed, watching as y/n sorts through his wardrobe. "Do you have anything other than these formal shirts?", she asks, finding only more and more of single colored shirts.

"No. That's all I need.", Harry shrugs. "You don't like them?"

y/n turns to smile at him, and walks to him. "I love them, Harry. But for our trip, you definitely need more. I'm gonna take you shopping."

"I don't like shopping..", Harry mumbles, grabbing her hips and pulling her in between his legs. His thumbs draw circles on her skin that's exposed. y/n was wearing a crop top and shorts. "Can I not just love on you for the entire day?", he asks, kissing her neck and y/n feels his soft hair as she moves her hand to play with his hair.

"As much as I would love that..", y/n kisses his lips, making him smile. "You are in dire need of new clothes." She squeaks as Harry pulls her onto his lap. "We can have our fun later."

"The kind of fun we like?", he asks, moving her hair back to expose her neck, attaching his lips to her soft skin.

"Uh huh.", y/n sucks in a breath, twisting a curl around his finger. "Why can't your friend just drive the car back herself?", he asks.

y/n had made up a story to tell Harry about the road trip to Mexico. It had to be convincing. Romania gave her that story as well. She had to say that it was her friend's, and her cousin had driven to San Francisco last time he was here but he took the flight back, so the car was still with her. Now he needed it back, and he was too busy to come here himself.

"Cause she's busy. I owe her one.", y/n says, feeling horrible to lie to him, but she had no option. She would get him on the road, and try her best to make him recollect his memories. If he didn't remember, she would tell him the truth before the week ended. She wouldn't let him get killed. He might leave her when she tells him the truth but it's better than him dying. She could live with regret, but she couldn't, knowing that she helped someone with murder.

"And you need a trip. You've been working non stop, everyone needs a break.", y/n kisses his jaw, and Harry smiles, "I don't need breaks, I love work. The only reason I agreed is because of you."

"You can't say no to me, can you?", y/n pats his cheeks.

"You're cute.", he chuckles, before lifting her off his lap and standing on his feet. "Let's go."

y/n took Harry shopping, and he just stood there like one of the mannequins themselves, while y/n sorted through the clothes. He seemed to be enjoying looking at her, rather than the different collection of clothes.

"Here, try these on. There's the trial room.", y/n says as she places a pile of shirts onto Harry's hands.

"Um, okay." Harry walks to the trial rooms, and y/n chuckles to herself. He was so adorable and innocent. y/n even tried google searching about him, but she didn't find much. She wanted to know why people were scared of him. She wished she could talk to Reagen. She was the only person not afraid of him, and who was closest to him.

“How’s this?”

y/n gives Harry a once over, as he poses for her in a floral shirt.He hadn’t done all the buttons up, and she could see half of his butterfly tattoo.

 She bites her lip, nodding. “Get it.”

Harry looks around, before reaching a hand to tug her into the trial room. “Harry! What if people see?”

“There’s no one around, love.”, Harry pins her to the wall, trapping her with his large frame. “Are you getting worked up?”

“No..”, she lies, breathing heavily as he leans closer, his breath fanning over her face. “No?”, he smirks, pressing her lips onto her hers, and biting her bottom lip. She opens her mouth to let his tongue inside, and lets him explore her mouth. Harry’s knee comes in between her legs, separating them. One hand holds her hip while the other slips up her thigh, to her core. 

She clenches her thighs immediately, and he pinches her thigh. “Keep them open. Let me see for myself if you’re wet.”

She plays with the curls on the back of his head, and grips his shoulder as he parts her panties and runs a finger through her sleek wet folds. 

“Ah hah, looks like someone was lying.”

“Harry stop..t-they’ll hear us..”, she whispers, fighting back a moan as he slips one finger inside her. She was wearing a skirt, so he had easy access. 

“You’ll just have to be quiet then, baby.”, he hums, adding another finger and pumping them in and out of her slowly, in a dangerously slow pace. “Should I let you cum? You lied to me.”

“Y-Yes, please..”, she whimpers, starting to ride his fingers because he wasn’t using them fast enough for her to get off. He pulled away his fingers immediately, and she whined in annoyance. 

“You’ll take what I give you, won’t you sweetheart?”, he questions, the hand holding her hip moving to her throat. “Fuck..yes..”, she answers, her eyes fluttering as she looks at his hand around her throat. “Please..”

“Please what? You want me to choke you?”

“Yes, a-and let me cum.”, she murmurs, and he cocks an eyebrow, pressing his fingers around her neck just enough to make her vision a little bit disoriented, but it felt so good. “Please.”, she quickly adds and he hums in satisfaction. “Get inside me.”

“You’ll get to cum only if you are a good girl and be quiet, okay? Can you do that for me?”

“Yes.”, she agrees, nodding her head and he releases her neck, turning her around. “If you make a sound, I’m gonna stuff these panties into your pretty little mouth, got it?”

“Uh huh..” Harry flips up her skirt and drags down her panties, before unbuckling his pants and getting his dick out of his boxers. She keeps her hands on the mirror covered wall, and he keeps his hand on her shoulder as he slips his hard cock into her pussy.

“Fuck, so tight around me. Such a perfect hole.”, he groans, and she gasps at the feeling of being full, before quickly remembering that she should be quiet. Harry fucks her deep and quick, making her bite her lip so hard she was sure it was bleeding. It felt so fucking good. 

“Feels good, baby? This what you wanted?”Harry's fingers dig into the flesh of her hip.

“So good.”, she hummed, and let out a small scream as he thrusts quickly, and it hit just the spot. She was struggling to keep standing. 

“What did I tell you?”Harry grabs her ass, squeezing one of her cheeks. “What would happen if you couldn’t be quiet?”

“Y-You’d stuff my panties in m-my mouth..oh god.,”, she moans, and he picks up her panties. “That’s right. Want to let the whole world know what a dirty little girl you are? Open your mouth.”

His fingers grabbed her jaw and squeezed, making her open her mouth and he stuffs her panties into her mouth, making her moan around it as he continues to fuck her. “That’s better. Do you still think you deserve to cum?”

She couldn’t answer with the panties in her mouth, and she didn’t think she would be able to even if she could have. She was seeing stars. But she managed a weak nod.

“Yeah? I don’t think so.``, Harry quickened his pace, feeling him getting close and she clenched around him. “Fuck yes, just like that.”, he groans. “B-Because I’m nice, I’ll let you cum. Let go, baby.”

It doesn’t take much longer for her to tip over the edge, and he has to hold her up to make sure she doesn’t fall on her knees. Her legs were shaking from the orgasm, and her head was floating. Harry groaned as he released as well, slowing down his strokes. He pressed his forehead to her shoulder, breathing as they came down from their highs. 

He takes the panties out of her mouth, and presses a kiss to her shoulder. “Can I pull out?”

She nods, and he does, slowly before turning her around and pushing all the cum dripping down her thighs inside her. She whines from sensitivity. “You’ll hold everything in, right love? I’ll take care of it when we get home after our little shopping trip.”

“I-I think we’re done shopping for the day..”, she sighs, head leaning on his chest and he chuckles, pulling her into his arms. He presses a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re so perfect.”

___________________________________________________

Two days later, y/n and Harry were ready for their trip. She had planned it all for four days, the last day would be the seventh day. The end of her four weeks.

"You can always call me anytime.", y/n tells Uncle Luke as she checks the house over and over again, to make sure he has everything. She had found a home nurse who would take care of him when she was gone.

"I'll be fine, y/n. I told you I don't need a nurse!", he says as y/n checks his medicine cabinet, making sure nothing needs a refill.

"I know you can take care of yourself, the nurse is so I don't freak out, okay?", she says, sitting down when her uncle grabs her wrist.

"I'll be good, I promise.", he says, smiling with the soft glint in his eyes. "But you haven't been on a trip since ages, y/n. I want you to have fun."

y/n smiles, squeezing his hand. "You used to love going to new places and outdoors. I wish you were little again so we could both go get ice cream, and I'd push you on the swing in the park.."

y/n leans forward to hug her uncle, closing her eyes in comfort as his arms wrap around her. "You remind me of Reena sometimes. She would be a beautiful smart girl like you right now, if she was alive."

"She would. I'm sure she's looking at you from up there.", y/n says to him, and Uncle Luke smiles at her. "My little girl. I'll see her some day."

"Yes, until then, you're stuck with me."

y/n gets him to laugh. "Seriously, have fun y/n, don't think about me, okay? I'll call every day, but don't spend too much time worrying about me."

"I'll try.", she nods.

"Guess you gotta go, Harry will be waiting for you.", he says, stroking her hair back.

"Yup. It's just four days, I can do this right?", she asks for assurance, and Uncle Luke nods, placing a kiss on her forehead. "You can. You know, while I was making tea yesterday, I put in salt instead of sugar?"

"Oh god. That must have tasted horrible."

"My point is, y/n, don't trust everything you see or hear. You can't even differentiate salt from sugar if you don't look carefully."

y/n's eyebrows creased, and she bit her lip, thinking about that statement. Did Uncle Luke mean something? He did throw around words like that often, but this seemed different.

"What do you mean, Uncle?", she asks, pulling back from the hug to look at him.

"What do I mean?", he asks, confused. "Wasn't I talking about Reena?"

y/n knew he had forgotten, and there was no point bringing it up again. He would only get sad about the fact that he forgot something he just said. y/n made sure she packed everything, and went to go pick Harry.

She waits for him in the car, and after half an hour of waiting, he finally comes out. She gets out of the car to help him load his bag into the trunk.

"I thought you were gonna bail on me. We're already two hours past the time we were supposed to leave. We have to-"

y/n stops talking as she turns to look at Harry. He had gotten a haircut, shaved his mustache and trimmed his beard. He looked so handsome, the haircut made his eyes stand out. His green eyes were shining bright. He immediately looked a few years younger. His skin glowed in the sunlight. He wore a black t shirt exposing his muscular arms, and displaying all his tattoos. He wore baggy jeans and sneakers with that.

"Enjoying the view? We're not even in Mexico, yet.", Harry smirks at her, his dimples popping.

She blushes, pushing on his shoulder. He looked incredibly hot. "Who are you? What did you do with Doctor Turner?"

"He's gone for vacation, won't be available for four days. I would recommend rescheduling the appointment if you had one.", he says, making her giggle and hug him. "You look great Harry."

"Thank you, and you always do, y/n. Sorry for the delay, I had some last minute packing left. I'm ready to go now. Oh! I didn't know it was convertible.", he says, looking at the car.

"Isn't it sick? I thought you'll like it.", y/n says, watching him go around and look at it.

"Interesting," he agrees. "It's safe, right?"

"Of course. I drive safely. Hop in, let's begin our trip!"

Harry smiles and kisses her before getting in. Harry asks her questions about where they'll be staying, and she tells him she booked a room in a hotel near the beach for the day.

y/n sang along to the music and Harry listened to her with a smile. She really was a sunshine in his life. They stopped for tea on the way, and for a break. It was a little hut-like place, overlooking the hills. It was the only spot she could find on the highway.

y/n clicked some pictures of Harry as he leaned against the car. He caught her, and brought a hand to his face. "Whyy?", he drawls.

"It's a beautiful view!", she says, smiling as she looks at the photos.

"Let me take yours then! Stand there.", he points to a tree, and snatches her phone out of her hands.

"Okay." y/n walks over and strikes a pose, making Harry grin as he clicks. She made a funny face for the next one, and Harry pinched her side playfully when she came back running to him.

"You're so pretty.", he mumbles, pressing a kiss to her head as she looks at the photos. She smiles, leaning her head on his shoulder and tilting her head up to meet his lips. "Thank you."

They hit the road again. Harry had come off a night shift the day before so he was tired. He yawns and leans his head on the window.

"Will you get sleepy and crash if I sleep?", he asks.

"No, I think I'll survive for a while. We have one and half hours more, get recharged.", she pats his knee.

He was too tired to protest, and he let his eyes close. y/n kept looking at him sideways when she could. Harry looked so peaceful. She wished she could keep him safe with her like this forever.

Harry woke up energetic before they got to their hotel. It was a small place, but the view from their room was beautiful. Palm trees stood tall along the beach, dancing to the tune of the breeze emanating from the waters of the sea. They missed the sunset, but the sky was still painted in hues.

They decided to freshen up and then take a walk on the beach side. y/n changed into a purple and pink blouse, paired with matching shorts and put on her sandals. Harry chose a simple white shirt and black shorts. Harry took her hand when they walked, making y/n's heart flutter. They had held hands before, but now they were away from everyone, in their own world and happy.

Then they sat down on the sand while looking at the calm waters. "Why San Francisco?", y/n asks Harry as she traces her thumb on the cross tattoo on his hand. "You didn't grow up here, did you?"

"I don't think so..", Harry murmurs. "I think I'm from London."

She knew he was British from his accent that was incredibly hot, but London was new information. "Then why did you move here?", she asks.

"I-I don't know..I've been here since the time I remember.", he whispers.

"Move back to London, Harry. Or Mexico, or somewhere.", she mumbles, making him look at her. "Leaving you and my life behind?"

"That's what's safe for you. You can get a job there too, build a beautiful house and fall in love with a beautiful girl. Build your life there, Harry. Be happy.", she whispers, kissing his cheek. She couldn't tell him anything more.

"I built my life here, y/n. I don't know if I can do it again. I'm content with what I have now. I don't think it's possible to fall in love again either."

"Again?", y/n lifts her head from his shoulder. Was he talking about Reagen?

He tucks some of her hair behind her ear. "Yeah. I'm in love with you, y/n."

She felt her ribs hurting from the butterflies fluttering from her stomach up to her ribs, pressing on them. Her heart beat so fast, she thought it would explode out of her chest. y/n stroked his cheek as he looked at her with those gorgeous eyes. Her own eyes filled with tears, so she closed them, not wanting him to see and pressed her lips onto his soft ones. Harry's hand moves to the back of her neck, pulling her closer as he kisses her passionately.

"I love you too, Harry.", y/n whispers back, and touches their foreheads together. It was tearing her apart, hurting him. She would be responsible for breaking his heart. She wanted to walk into the sea and scream, letting the waves of the sea drown her voice.

Will he think think that what they have between them is also an act, when he gets to know the truth? But this was all true. y/n couldn't deny it anymore. She was in love with this man. The man who came into her life unexpectedly, and now without whom she cannot imagine living without.

"I'm happy, y/n. As long as I have you, I'll always be happy.", Harry whispers, pressing a sweet kiss to her forehead.

[spdrslayr]

001. atsv headcanons ! ★ jonathon ohnn & miguel o’hara both falling for the reader…

⁀➷ srcs... masterlist . rules . intro .

| synopsis, ୨♡୧ for the sake of this scenario, miguel and johnathon are working for alchemax in the same universe at the same time. miguel is a geneticist and johnathon is a physicist. you, my dear reader, are the cute receptionist!🥺

★ tags -> gender neutral reader; au; miguel o'hara; spider-man 2099; johnathon ohnn; the spot; love triangle; jealousy; fluff; etc...

★ warnings -> jealousy, slightly implied age gap, cursing

★ w.c -> 1,028

| xox, mei! ୨♡୧ -> woo my first post yay!! anyways requests are open for johnathon ohnn, miguel o'hara, and hobie brown if y'all are interested <3 my masterlist n rules are still a wip so stay tuned for that!

both men love their work but it still stresses the hell out of them. they’d enter and leave work exhausted. but then you started working at alchemax. you - with your bright smile and glittering eyes. most of the scientists and associates were drawn to you, but miguel and johnathon were on a whole nother level.

johnathon definitely fell first. it was daunting when someone he found attractive was being so sweet to him. jonathon’s usually too stuck in his own little world to care about such frivolities, so you were something special.  

★ he’s been late so many times because he’d chat with you for too long at your desk. at first he stumbled on his words with you, struggling to maintain eye contact while simultaneously trying not to stare too hard. now you’re one of the few people he feels comforting rambling to, because he knows you’re listening ★ johnathon loves it when you’d call him “doctor,” despite him insisting on his first name. sensing that air of respect from you makes him feel good about himself. ★ he takes great pride in making you laugh and smile with every chance he gets. this physicist has a vast arsenal of cheesy jokes, bad puns, and cute pick-up lines.  ★ he visits you throughout the day whenever he can, and tries to muster up the courage to have lunch with you. you’re young and gorgeous and out of his league but he’d be damned if he didn’t try. and then miguel o'hara came back from his business trip.

miguel didn’t care for the last receptionist. she was rude and lazy and got his name wrong. so it was a pleasant surprise when he was greeted by you instead. 

★ at first, your peppiness was too much for him, especially in the morning. he’d brush off your attempts at conversation and only mumble back to you when needed. such is the way of the resident grump at alchemax. but eventually, you wormed your way into his heart by remembering how he likes his coffee and staying up to help him on late nights in the lab. ★ miguel had to admit, you were a joy to have around. …and very very nice to look at. miguel's had a few serious relationships in the past, but they never ended well. since then he’s only indulged in one-night stands and temporary hook-ups. but he refused to look at you so fleetingly.  ★ miguel started bringing you expensive bouquets of flowers for your desk, along with sweet little notes. he’s obsessed with the scent of your vanilla perfume. he wants to be your hero, there to open every door, pull out every chair, and drive away any creep. for him, creeps include johnathon.

johnathon wasn’t concerned when he’d see other scientists and workers flirt with you. he wholeheartedly believed you two had a special connection that couldn’t be replicated. but seeing miguel turn you into a blushing stuttering mess proved him wrong. there was competition closer than he thought, and if he didn’t act quickly, he’d lose you for good.

★ johnathon felt deeply insecure in comparison to miguel. dr. o’hara’s movie star face & dreamy hair made him feel like crap.  ★ miguel clearly had way more experience in dating, always flirting with you so smoothly. johnathon on the other hand, is pretty sure he’s stuck in the friendzone with you. so he decided to experiment with bolder methods of winning your heart. ★ jonathon’s been more direct, showering you with compliments and buying you lunch whenever he could. he made it abundantly clear that he was single and that he liked you very much. you were his favorite person at alchemax, and for good reason.

miguel honestly thinks johnathon’s annoying as fuck. once john accidentally spilled hot coffee onto miguel on a very bad day, and he’s been bitter ever since. in the past johnathon would be friendly, but miguel would brush him off. who the hell is this lanky ass nerd and why is he hovering over him in HIS lab? 

★ now he’s wondering why the geek is messing with his love now. it pisses him off, not just because johnathon knows he feels the same about you, but how john makes you happier than he’s ever seen you be. miguel’s flirty, and funny in his own, stubborn way, but he lacked johnathon’s endearing dorky nature that had you hooked. ★ miguel is soooo grumpy lmao ★ really johnny is such a silly sweet guy while miguel, mr. give everything 1000% over here is fighting for his life. it took miguel a whole ass week to come up with a joke as good as johnathon’s that made you laugh your ass off. my guy is trying waaay too hard.

at first, miguel confronts johnathon kindly. he’s sympathetic and straight to the point - they both hold the same intentions towards you, but only one of them can win. he can tell that johnathon’s a good guy, with a big heart, so he’d understand… right?

★ “i’m in love with them, dr. ohnn. this isn’t just a silly crush. so either help me, or please refrain from getting in my way.” ★ “no, i’m good.” ★ “...you’re WHAT?”

war!!!!! miguel is a bitch to johnathon. dr. octavius has to give johnathon advice on how to win you over and how to fend off miguel. he’s gotten a lot better at brushing off miguel’s judgemental comments and acting unbothered by them.

although it’s not like johnathon isn’t cunty either. when he makes you laugh sometimes it’s because he’s making fun of miguel behind his back. he has a killer miguel impression that puts the original to shame.

★ “ugh, my shoulders are too broad and muscular. it’s so hard being so fit.” ★ “johnny!! he’s coming this way!” ★ “i work out every single part of my body at the gym. i do forehead pushups to keep my hairline in check.” ★ “JOHNNY-”

as long as a certain collider project goes swimmingly, and a radioactive spider stays in it’s fucking lane,  you’ll end up with one of them.

…unless…? ;)

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

meh why not. Honkai Star Rail X reader incorrect quotes when you have the time because I forgot you wrote for them.

I had a blast with this. Also, a special thanks to @tragedy-of-commons for reading these over.

Now! Your Wish Is My Command! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Natasha: You need to stop drinking so many energy drinks. Seele: You're one to talk. Natahsha: The last patient who refused to stop drinking energy supplements after I suggested it died. Seele: Oh no. Natasha: In a car crash. You: That sounds unrelated. Natasha: I’m the one who crashed it. Do not disobey me.

You: Why do you two like being out in the rain so much? Screwllum: I like splashing in the puddles and rain is just fun! Ruan Mei: I'm trying to get hit by lightning for my research.

Sparkle: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind. Sparkle: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. Sparkle: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year? You: …This is Monopoly.

You and Asta: Madam Herta, help! We did a bad thing! Herta: Does it affect me? You and Asta: Not technically— Herta: Then suffer in silence.

You: Do you know a turtle's greatest weakness? Ruan Mei: How slow they are? You: No, their only weakness is that they can get stuck on their back. Ruan Mei: What if you taped two turtles together? They'd be unstoppable, correct? You: … Ruan Mei: … Ruan Mei: …I will be back shortly You: Ruan Mei, NO—

You: Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation. Archeon: Laughs -Elsewhere- Boothill: I suddenly feel like strangling someone.

You: I need some help dealing with a problem, do you have any suggestions? Jingliu: Sword. You: Do you have any other suggestions? Jingliu: …Two swords.

You: Do you have any idea how many laws you're breaking on a daily basis? Silver Wolf: One? You: No. Silver Wolf: Two? You: No. Silver Wolf: …Is it one?

You: why are you following me? Kafka: because we’re dating now You: okay… what about the rest of you? Kafka: we’re a package deal Silver Wolf, walking next to the rest of the Stellaron hunters while burying her face in a game and Blade maneuvering her to avoid hazards like light poles: buy one idiot, get several free

You: Do you want to play 20 Questions? Firefly: Sure! You: What's your favorite color? Firefly, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Will you go out on a date with me?

Kafka: I love making short jokes about Wolfie. You: They go right over her head. Silver Wolf, standing on a step stool: Fuck you.

Blade, reading the note in the lunch packed for him by you and Kafka: the path to inner peace starts with four words Blade: not my fucking problem Blade: Narrows Eyes I think this one is for Firefly

Firefly, reading the note in the lunch packed for her by you and Kafka: Please, for the love of the Aeons, be good. We know your love language is acts of service. We also know your only skill is stabbing people. Firefly: Tilts Head To The Side I… believe this is for blade…

You: I love my personal space You point to the Silver Wolf latched onto your back You: this is Wolfie. Wolfie also loves my personal space.

You: Why are you smiling Blade? Blade: Am I not allowed to be happy? Kafka: Of course you are Bladie… It’s just that you being happy, usually means someone’s lost their life… or a limb.

Pom Pom: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. The Express Crew, desperately trying to avoid spring cleaning after the last "Incident": … Pom Pom: Choo Choo motherfuckers, come out already.

Stelle, waving at the crew as she steps onto the express after being splattered by a small army of stings: hello. Himeko: i- Welt: we literally saw you die. Dan Heng: you died. March 7th: you're dead. Stelle, shrugging: death is a social construct.

You and Stelle: some fools be like “I play games to escape my responsibilities” then pick tank or healer Welt: In my greatest fantasies I am able to help people Dan Heng: In my fantasies I can prevent people from being hurt, even if it means I get hurt in their stead Himeko: In my fantasies I don’t have to know how to aim March 7th: In my fantasies I control who lives and who dies

You standing at the top of the stairs: What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase? Ruan Mei: I accidentally fell down. Herta: RUAN MEI PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay HER part of our rent! Screwllum: Ruan Mei bet me fifty Credits that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than she did falling down it, so I slid down the banister to get my money. Dr. Ratio: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and several galaxies away and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Screwllum.

You: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Ruan Mei: They do. Herta: …Why did you say that with such certainty?

Dr. Ratio, talking to You and Topaz: Well, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Aventurine do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing. You and Topaz: … Aventurine: I know I should be offended, but he's not wrong.

Silver Wolf talking about you: How do you feel about Them, Firefly? Firefly, vibrating at a frequency high enough to shatter a glass: I love Them a normal amount.

You and the Stellaron Hunters sitting in jail together You: So who should we call? Silver Wolf: I’d call Blade, but I feel safer in jail

You: When do you usually go to sleep? Blade: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the Aeons. Kafka: My body will pass out when it's ready Kafka and Blade: high five You: angry staring (edited)

Firefly: Good News! The store had blueberry bagels! Bad news, the cream cheese died… or became more alive… It is the wrong amount of alive.

Tingyun, after being caught lying in bed with your shirt on: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. You: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Yukong: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? You: Peonies, why? Yukong: … You: Were you going to get me flowers? Yukong: … You: … Yukong, under her breath: It's a possibility…

Quingque: I owe you one. You: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

Blade: walks in to see you and Firefly sitting on the couch facing away from each other. Blade: I know I will more than likely regret asking, but what's going on there? Firefly, gaming: They're having a fight. Blade, confused: Then why are they holding hands? Kafka, playing with her Cat: Fighting makes them sad.

Natasha: Why are there little handprints all over the wall? You, whispering to The Moles: Why are there little handprints all over the wall? The Moles: Because we have little hands. You: *Nods Sagely Before Turning To Natasha* You, with a smile: Its because The Moles have little hands

You, when Wildfire was just starting: Natasha, sweetie, the love of my life, all you have is a handful of impoverished shantytowns paying us protection money. We're basically slum lords.

Natasha: And what's the main rule we have? Julian: Don't dare The Leader Of The Moles, Dark Hook The Great to do stupid stuff. You: And why's that? Hook with her head stuck between two stair rails: Because I have no regard for my personal well being.